#if you become my friend i might send you facts directly like did you know theres a deep sea shrimp that throws up bioluminescent blue goo ?

[dirt-juice]

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[thatpodcastkid]

Magnus Archives Relisten 23, MAG 23 Schwartzland

"Hey dude, some weird shit happened, thought you might be in to that."

Albrecht Von Closen writes letters to his colleagues the same way my friends text me. MAG 23 analysis, spoilers ahead!

Facts: Statement of Albrecht Von Closen regarding a tomb near his estate in the Black Forest.

Statement Notes: While this episode doesn't necessarily have many of the classic TMA style horror, I do think this one of the more objectively scary episodes. The imagery of Closen's story as he wanders deeper into the forest, the dread that creeps in as he discovers the story of Johann's Steps, his surety that the man with no eyes saw him, all serves to create particularly frightening vision.

In spite of his excellent description, I didn't find Closen particularly compelling. The complexity of his backstory was interesting, but would possibly be more entertaining/captivating if presented through a visual medium. Through his description of his familial circumstances alone, it's more difficult to connect with him and his wife in spite of their apparently kind personalities. I was more intrigued by Wilheim. He was left alone in Schwarzwald without a proper caretaker. He was left mere miles from the temple. He was left to be haunted by the man with no eyes. What becomes of a young, sickly boy who can't escape something that cannot see but always watches?

Entity Alignment: The broadness of the forest indicates the Vast, the tomb holds elements of the Dark, the Buried, and the End. But of course, what Jonah really cares about is the living library. What Jonah cares about is a man who can continue watching even without eyes. Jonah cares about the Eye.

This episode is the first mention of Jonah in the series, and it explicitly mentions a man with no eyes being able to see all continuously. In spite of all rules of nature, he watches. He hoards knowledge in his hidden library until it becomes an organism in itself. Did Albrecht send this letter because the experience reminded him of Jonah, or did this letter give Jonah ideas?

Character Notes: "Good lord man!"- Actual Victorian librarian Jonathan Sims.

I love the no-trousers Martin scene. You love the no-trousers Martin scene. We all love the no-trousers Martin scene. But what stood out to me this listen, as opposed to the most ridiculous interaction to ever take place in a horror, was the fact that Jon is in the office before 7 am. He says that he wants to leave before dark to avoid Prentiss, but given how his work schedule lines up with other characters later in the season, it seems more likely that Jon's obsessive tendencies began to take over after Martin this was attacked, and he began working 12 or more hours a day. Whether this is because of fear for himself, fear for Martin, or just using work as a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with his emotions, Jon is pushing himself.

Because we don't know much about the Protocol yet, I hesitate to include many mentions in these analyses. However, I did notice that the only speaking-characters who ever have statements directly addressed to them are Jonah, Jon, and Martin. The three of them are the most deeply ingrained in the system of knowledge collection--they have the most tapes and wires wrapped around them. It stands to reason that, if shocked into another universe, they would be forced even further into that system.

[luffyvace]

hello! can i request hairo's kisses?

yes you may nonny! 💗💗

I’m so glad to see someone requested my silly little series!!

Enjoy anon!! And thank you! <3

Hairo’s kisses!

your first kiss would probably happen a few weeks after you’ve become an official couple

And I’m talking past the dating phase

which you likely dated for at least 4 months

Hairo had no interest in romance before, canonly

But when he does get a chance to date, let alone kiss you?

he’s all over you!!

and he’s not embarrassed one bit :)

As for your first kiss 😚

he doesn’t seem like the type to be flustered easily at all

so it would simply depend on what your doing, or- more like where :P

and by this I mean if your inside at the time, your first kiss will happen in private!

if your outside at the moment? pda is fine by him 💞

he’s proud to have you as his s/o so he isn’t afraid to show it at all

in fact he’s not even thinking if others are around

he’s focused on you

i mean of course! It’s not about them!

LOL

he’s also the type of person to see they’re parents kiss and not cringe, or not be embarrassed to kiss they’re mom in front of they’re friends, for a better example

you know? He just sees it as a normal thing, not cheesy or anything

a display of affection—just as it is <3

back to the lecture at hand—

Let’s say you guys were inside at the time

I’m going to go ahead and say he catches you completely off guard

you two were doing whatever you were doing

probably chatting while doing so

and as soon as the conversation ended he leaned in and gave you a 3 second kiss

Now he is a gentleman—so directly after he realizes he didn’t ask first

”oh- uh- oops- did……did you want a kiss?”

”I should’ve asked first really! I don’t even know if that was your first kiss or if I’m moving too fast—my mom told me I might wanna wait-“

”it was fine, Hairo. I loved it”

you announced beaming

and apparently that’s infectious because he got a case of the smiles too 😊

You probably resumed what you were doing before

but not before sharing a comfortable silence while doing something sappy like cuddling for a bit or holding hands 💗

from then on he’ll give you a kiss anywhere

its not like pda is illegal or forbidden or something so he sees nothing wrong with it!

The most common kiss you’ll receive from him is a forehead kiss

to say goodbye, to say hello, to say thank you, to say good luck, to say goodnight

all of the above and more

he more so gives kisses on the lips when you two are being all cuddly n such

like a quick peck after a goodbye hug

or when your snuggled up, cooing little praises to each other

Hairo’s kisses are soft and usually short

so the ‘short and sweet’ type

his lips are actually really soft!

he doesn’t have chapped lips or anything and they’re naturally moisturized

he doesn’t even do anything or put anything on he’s just kinda lucky 😂

let him tell it, it might be because he works out- 😄

I can nor confirm or deny I have no idea I haven’t researched it

but besides the point

Hairo’s kisses are gentle and meaningful

In each and every one of his kisses you can feel the love and adoration

it sends tingles up your spine and gives you goosebumps from how loved you feel

theres always at least 2 seconds of googly eyes being exchanged after your kiss as well

whether a whole crowd is watching or not

if your not into pda you’ll have to tell him because as I said he views it in a casual (yet of course, still romantic) way

So he kinda just initiates it naturally

But don’t be hesitant to tell him your uncomfortable with it! 💓

he completely understands and will keep in all his affection til he can burst it at you in private 💝

if your okay with pda, he initiates it as normal! :)

You might as well call your man the kiss genie

because ask and you shall receive darling

If this guy isn’t the gentlest giant idk who is

💋💪

[vixxdaemon]

henrin and osaabella make me so happy. thank you for introducing me to these two pairings.. i'm so heart eyes over them omg. spare headcanons? i rattle a can towards you

Oh sweetheart you have no idea for how fucking long I have been waiting for someone sending me an ask exactly like that. I am going to enjoy answering it with my whole being.

Alright so headcanons huh? I can do that. I can most definitely do that.

Henrin :

-Both of them bounded over their shared dislike of the Bremen Empire. So in general, their political views actually align together well. Karin doesn’t like how passive Henryk is most of the time, though.

-I’d imagine, if you were to come to them and tell them you believe in occult and magic, they both would point and laugh at you. Karin is more of a louder laughter at the absurdity you’re telling her while Henryk is more of a small «Yeah right » kind of chuckle. They’re mean girls to me.

-Both started of as fwb to relieve eachother’s stress and also fill up their respective egos. Henryk because he gets to fw a celebrity and therefore not be a complete nobody after all since he pulled her, and Karin because she has no fear of Henryk leaving her because she knows he can’t do better as a nobody average Joe.

-Both are queer. Henryk is a bisexual man who isn’t openly and proudly so but did flirt with men before and still does when him and Karin aren’t serious yet (but he never had the courage to keep up with it and actually have encounters with other men) and Karin is a closeted bisexual woman and projects onto queer men in particular. If/when she realized it might definitely do something to her psyche. Leads to interesting stuff about Karin discovering about Henryk’s sexuality (he does not call it bisexuality because at this era they did not have that word to describe it) and unpacking her internalized homophobia/biphobia.

-I can most definitely imagine that the main conflict between them comes from the fact that Karin refuses to be vulnerable to Henryk at first due to her trust issues, and notices immediately how jealous he gets at her popularity and fame, which she immediately calls out and tells him to correct before it actually becomes a problem. Then Henryk would feel hurt at Karin’s refusal to put off her walls around him because himself does efforts to better himself. An argument would probably happen between them and Henryk would leave, slamming the door shut while doing so.

-It’s only after a short while of being separated that Karin realizes that she does care for Henryk and how much so. She realizes that she is in love with him and uh. She did not just fall in love, it was a whole plane crash in her mind. So for a while her and Henryk would not keep in touch, but at one point she just has enough and takes matters in her own hands and comes directly to see him to apologize to him and have a genuine heart to heart with him about it. He decides to accept to listen to her cause he sees it takes her quite a bit to open up.

-They tearfully make up after a few hours and start to become friends in a more healthy way, and then as time goes on they slowly but surely become a couple. Henryk loves to annoy Karin and Karin pretend to be pissed at his sappy jokes and whatnot but she would not really want Henryk to be any different in reality. Karin’s the kind to shove whatever food Henryk is making while they’re chatting when he’s being annoying lol. They also like to be mean to eachother and only eachother know that it’s just how they are and most of the time the mean words are just mean words that mean nothing.

-On a less timeline related note, Henryk cooks and Karin loves his food. She does not ever express it through words but she eats it all up at once when he does just tells him everything he needs to know.

-Henryk tries to convince Karin to relax more while Karin convinces Henryk to stop lamenting and get his shit together to find a profession he likes. I can imagine she has contacts due to her being a journalist to which she can pass on Henryk so he can find people who can for example teach him stuff or hire him.

-Their love language is gossiping and talking shit about people who annoy them. More often than not Henryk will gesture at Karin to come ither and he will whisper some joke or gossip about a person they wanna clown on and she will have a little restricted giggle about it, that and possibly whisper something back to him.

O’saAbella :

-Kept contact after the Termina festival because Abella wanted to know more about occultism after everything she’s seen at the festival, and O’saa was her best bet to get all the knowledge she needed. O’saa is happy to provide, and fuels his ego a lot to know someone would want to learn from him. Also a way for him to learn more about machines.

-They write to eachother a lot when they’re apart at the start, but it has become difficult due to O’saa moving around a lot. So, O’saa suggests to Abella that she could travel around the world with him so he could show her in person what she needs to know. She accepts and here they go.

-O’saa has a sweet tooth while Abella adores everything savory. O’saa shows her around the world and lets her taste local foods and she eats it up everytime. When it’s very spicy, she will be tearing up, red faced, but have the brightest smile and cry about how good the food is while O’saa is just amused at her enthusiasm.

-Abella is very touchy with him since the start. Often tugging at his shirt or sleeve for his attention, or likes to put her hands on his shoulders. The contact is a bit off putting to him, but not exactly uncomfortable, so he doesn’t really say anything about it.

-Most conflict between them definitely comes from their differences in morals and I can imagine that the arguments about these are actually quite bad and serious. They stay mad at eachother for over a week and then end up making up, each apologizing to eachother in their own ways.

-Abella LOVES to sit in O’saa’s lap while she explains things to him or shows him stuff she’s working on. She’s the yapper and he’s the listener for sure. She just loves having him close to her all the time. He also does, but secretly so.

-O’saa loves to experiment with magic and try different tricks to let Abella watch. Abella is open minded and always curious about how it all happens, she he lets her and revels in how interested she is about it. Abella, though, always tries to think of a «logical » way magic works, and gets confused when O’saa tells her that there is no logic and magic just works in its own ways and no mortal explaination can suit it.

-As time goes on and they grow closer, O’saa starts to become tactile with her as well, in his own ways. Hand on her chin, holding her hand when she’s touching his. He feels miserable about enjoying her presence and her touch so much for a while, guy has not felt romantic love up until now (demiromantic moment for him fr)

-Both of them are autistic. Abella is on a part of the spectrum that gives her huge sense of justice while O’saa is on the part of the spectrum that makes him express and process emotions differently than most people. None of them would know of autism at this era but that’s what they would be referred to as in our era.

-They get together because they both realize that they imagine their future with eachother and they are who they want to be with for as long as they live. Once they are an item, and even before that, I can imagine they send quips to eachother a lot, both like to mess with eachother, and Abella laughs at O’saa’s bad jokes.

-Abella, having raised all her younger siblings, definitely knows the stare and does not fucking hesitate to give it to O’saa when he says something messed up, and he gets the message.

Alright, that’s all I have for today, I possibly have more but this post is already super long as it is. Thank you so much for this ask and enabling me to be insane about them ❤️❤️❤️

[flower-boi16]

Why "The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck"'s Message Doesn't Work

Ducktales 2017 is one of my favorite cartoons of all time and used to be my No. 1 favorite until I saw TOH, but I still hold a very deep love for the show, especially when it comes to a lot of the character writing. That being said, the show…isn’t perfect, and I think the third season has a few problems that make it weaker than the first two (though I’ll have to finish rewatching the season to be fully sure).

The Life and Crimes of Scrooge Mcduck especially isn’t a particularly good episode with how it handles it’s whole message about "accepting responsibility for your actions" and in this post I’m going to analyze why it falls apart.

As I said before, this episode’s message that its trying to send is that you should take responsibility for your actions rather than make excuses for it. The premise of the episode is that Scrooge and Louie are transported to a magical courtroom thingy where Scrooge is accused of being responsible for Glomgold, Ma Beagle and Magica’s turn to villainy, and Louie has to prove Scrooge innocent.

The episode has Glomgold and Beagle show proof of how Scrooge "made them evil" and Louie refuting those claims, proving Scrooge’s innocence…until Magica comes along and shows her first time facing Scrooge, where, he ended up getting Magica to accidentally turn her brother into a bird and refused to catch him for her, leading Magica to lose her brother forever and never be able to find him.

The show treats this as a big moment where, Louie CAN’T defend Scrooge here, being an example where Scrooge DID have a part in one of his enemies turning evil because of him, and after that, he says that he might have some influence on each of his enemies becoming evil…

…except for the fact that Scrooge did not make Magica evil. Scrooge had no effect on Magica turning evil; Magica was already directly shown to be evil to begin with, mainly with how she and her brother…ya know…literally in slaved a town into giving their goods to them and then made a spell that attracted money directly to them?

Was Scrooge not catching Po a dick move? Yes. Does that mean he is inherently responsible for Magica turning evil? No, because Magica was already evil to begin with and Scrooge changed nothing about her.

Same thing goes for the other villains as well, who the episode also tries to say that Scrooge might’ve had an influence in becoming evil as well after saying the exact opposite up until this point…?

Scrooge is not responsible for turning Glomgold or Ma Beagle evil either, Scrooge was trying to give good advice to Glomgold, its not Scrooge’s fault Glomgold was a brat, and Scrooge won the wrestling match far and square, and, like the episode shows, Ma Beagle was also always a brat from the start.

So the episode’s message of accepting responsibility for your actions doesn’t work because Scrooge was not responsible for any of them turning evil, they were ALWAYS bad people from the start.

The same thing applies to Louie who the episode has learn this same message, with him accepting responsibility for how his actions might have hurt Doofus Drake, which would be fine if it weren’t for the fact that Doofus was shown to a spoiled brat from the beginning and the first time him and Louie met he literally tried making him his "best friend".

I’m sorry, is Louie seriously supposed to apologize to Doofus for getting his parents to grow a spine discipline him just a tincy bit? Cuz I don’t think so.

Really, The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck has a decent message on paper but it falls apart when you actually think about it for more than five minutes. The episode has other issues like introducing a major revelation near the end of the show, or just how underwhelming it is as the penultimate episode of the show which just further solidifies it as my least favourite episode of the show, but this is the biggest issue with it to me.

So ya, that’s why this episode’s lesson doesn’t work…goodbye.

[seventeenlovesthree]

Digi Dynamic Shipping Game

Send me two names among the following 12 and I’ll write a short analysis post about them:

Taichi Yagami | Yamato Ishida | Sora Takenouchi | Koushirou Izumi | Mimi Tachikawa | Jyou Kidou | Takeru Takaishi | Hikari Yagami | Daisuke Motomiya | Miyako Inoue | Iori Hida | Ken Ichijouji

Whether canon provides input on them or not.

As I try my best to get myself out of writing/art block, I thought about one of the many relationship analysis posts that are still at the back of my queue - and thus we may start with our genius bug boys, shall we?

As I had already outlined before, their relationship may not be the most fleshed out compared to other older/younger Chosen Children pairs - but this wonderful moment in particular is, in my opinion, still enough for us to speculate on how their bond may develop. It's Senpai!Koushirou at his very best, taking the still very distraught Ken under his wing, reassuring and comforting him in his own ways - because these two have way more in common than just being smart boys with bug Digimon partners.

While their set-ups are being focused on in very different ways, their arcs are both defined by trying to be more casual, natural with the people close to them due to identity-and-family-related trauma. While Koushirou buried himself in his laptop and knowledge gathering to avoid thinking about himself and his potential whereabouts for being adopted, struggling with social interactions, Ken was dragged into the world of the dark ocean after the death of his brother, getting corrupted in the process and committing horrifying actions, thus feeling unworthy of being redeemed and befriended for a long, long time. One might argue that, if it wasn't for two certain goggle boys reaching their hands out to them, they may have never found the courage to become confident in their abilities, using their intellect for the good and the sake of their friends and families, letting their natural kindness shine through eventually...

And in the same vein, I feel like Koushirou, by the time of 02, had to become the person he is there first to be able to reach out to Ken himself, so Ken could move on to reach out to the others as well. Even if he may not have been consciously aware of it, he (besides Yamato, Takeru and Hikari) was probably among the people who could relate to Ken the most - and thus, treated him with kindness.

Unfortunately, we never really see them interact directly after that again, even though Koushirou did try his best to integrate Ken into the team despite everything he had done. So long story short - we at least know there is a peaceful, trusting and kind foundation between them.

Whether I think why and how they’d work.

In case you haven't noticed how I talked about them above, I would absolutely love for these two to be closer with each other. My assumption is that the creators of Digimon tried to avoid putting them together too blatantly, because they may be way too powerful in figuring out everything on their own. I also don't believe that there would be any kind of competitive spirit between these two - in fact, Ken has quite the tendency to play himself down and canonically confirms that "if Koushirou-san can't figure this out, how are we supposed to?", implying that he is also still looking up greatly to his senpai. I think they could be quite knowledge bombs due to their natural curiosity in different fields, with Koushirou being more accustomed to the technical and theoretical side of things, whereas Ken may have more knowledge outside of that. They're both the voices of reasons in their respective groups - and may also need a little time-out every now and then to settle down, enjoy some quiet time by themselves (and with each other) after being exposed to the shenanigans their friends come up with.

This may be more of a dub-only thing, but - I could actually imagine them having fun at quiz nights and despite being the smartest people in the room, would always be the least competitive about it (especially when Miyako and Daisuke are with them), because they could just talk about their gathered findings for hours without end. Nobody else could follow their train of thought at this point, but that's okay, because they just enjoy theorizing together.

Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.

Overall, I think they would work better on a platonic basis, mainly because they're both people who need other people with outgoing energy levels as complementary forces to pull them out of their shells as romantic partners. But again, I believe they could be amazing friends to each other, a safe haven so to speak.

[preservationofnormalcy]

Freezer leading to Antarctica guy here. I did what you said and opened my freezer again (for longer than a second this time), and I have a few things that I think I should add.

All the moons are completely identical in appearance, and despite the fact I know this I have no idea what they actually look like (except that they look like moons). Looking at them too long gives me a bad headache, but also seems to directly send information into my brain. Eventually I stopped because I think my eyes started bleeding a bit and I noticed I was screaming, but here's what I learned before then (I'm interpreting things a bit, and trying to piece things together. The information I was given was not structured and was very hard to understand). The God-King of Antarctica is actually the name of the country, not the leader. They don't have a leader, and they are a direct democracy where everyone votes on every policy, using the moons to send the information and calculate the votes. The original treaty with the moons mentioned the leader of their country being the God-King, because it was made back when they were an absolute monarchy, and to keep the agreement valid when they no longer had leaders they had to rename their country to that. They thought that our planet was called New Zealand for some reason, which explains my title. Also they have apparently been at war with two alternate universe versions of "The Dominion of Antarctica" at points in their history, neither from our universe. I'm also pretty sure they consider themselves another alternate universe version of this dominion, since their method of finding other universes might involve finding universes with other versions of them in it? That part was hard to understand. My hands started typing the first part of this before I started thinking about it, I think my senses of smell and hearing have stopped working for a bit, and I just noticed I am lying on the floor for some reason, so I'm going to try and sleep now. Also I have no idea how to transfer ambassadorship sorry.

Take a nap, friend.

This is a weird one. We definitely have records of the Dominion of Antarctica, but not any alternates. Definitely concerning. Alternate realities work a little differently than a lot of people think. There's potential every time a decision is made for an alternate to split off, but it very rarely does. There's a quantum moment of potentiality where an alternate can become what we call "Stable" - this is pretty rare in the grand scheme of things, but since we're talking about infinite numbers of potentials, there's a few dozen Stables we know of for sure, and probably a few hundred we don't.

A handful in one area or connected to one locality is something we need to watch. We'll see if we can send someone to your, uh. Fridge. Look for a big repair van with "I-Shield Appliance Repair" on the side.

[pure-garbage]

Assume Too Much! Caution And Curiosity

"Alright, tell me what you're playing at," Zoro demanded of Robin.

They'd since returned to the Merry and Lana had disappeared to bathe.

"You'll have to be more specific," Robin said without looking up from her book.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice it was you who tripped us earlier? I wanna know why."

"And here I thought I could get away with being subtle," Robin sighed. "You're remarkably observant, swordsman."

"Why'd you trip us?"

"I was just trying to be a good friend," Robin smirked, raising her hands innocently.

"By dragging us to the ground?"

"Seemed to me that neither of you minded being so close."

"You... wanted us close?" Zoro crossed his arms over his chest, heat rising to his cheeks while Robin chuckled lightly.

"The two of you act so cute around each other... I figured a little push might help speed things along."

"Speed things... there's nothing to speed," he protested.

"Hm, so you don't have any feelings for her then?" Robin asked directly.

"No more than for any of my friends," Zoro lied.

"Funny. I've never seen you lick your lips so much while watching Nami or Usopp," Robin teased.

"Hey! I don't-"

"It's alright, Zoro. You do know she feels the same way, right?"

'She... does?'

"You've got it wrong," Zoro grumbled insistently. "You're reading too much into nothing."

"Oh dear, well pardon my presumptiveness," Robin smirked with dry sarcasm. "I guess it was just my imagination earlier as well... or weren't the two of you taking your time getting out of those vines?"

'Lana certainly wasn't rushed,' Zoro recalled. The memory of her adorable blush, the hike of her breath, the audible racing of her heart...

"What would make you think she has some kind of... feelings. For me, that is."

"Aside from the fact that she was hoping you would kiss her earlier?"

Zoro couldn't deny that for a moment, it had seemed that way.

"Well, you two have become nearly inseparable, haven't you?" Robin went on. "Ever since you saved her from Corrin... well, I'd say it seems like you're both very attracted to each other, but neither of you can work up the nerve to tell the other. So, swordsman? Am I wrong?"

"Hmph. And here I thought you were actually reading those books of yours," Zoro scoffed. "Meddlesome woman. If it's drama you're looking for, look somewhere else. Keep your nose out of my business."

"As you wish."

Robin went back to her book, nonchalant as if the conversation had never happened.

'Inseparable... she means the training. That's nothing. Lana just wants to get stronger, that's all. We trained together even before what happened with the Seeker pirates... it doesn't mean anything.'

Zoro caught sight of Lana, emerging from the washroom with wet, glistening hair. Involuntarily, he recalled the heat of her body under his, the curve of her figure slotted against him like it was made to do so.

'I don't lick my lips when I look at her,' he scowled derisively.

Lana flipped her hair, sending water droplets flying. Zoro kept his tongue in his mouth, perturbed by how hard it was to do. He cast his mind's eye back, thinking of the time he'd spent with her. For every moment that made him feel like she wanted more from him than friendship, another came to mind to counter it. Surely Robin wasn't seeing the full picture. She was just being nosy, making up tension where there was none to pass the time while they sailed.

'Robin assumes too much... but maybe just a test. It couldn't hurt.'

Zoro approached Lana silently while she combed her fingers through her hair. He waited, hesitating a split-second longer before he pounced.

"Hey!" she cried.

"Off your guard," he tsked, pinning her back to the wall with ease.

"Crap, you did wait extra long that time!" she lamented.

"I even warned you that's what I would do."

"Next time I'll be ready."

"Now let's see you break free."

"Huh?"

"Break free. I won't let you go so easily this time."

"Zoro, you're at least ten times as strong as me!" she protested. "There's no way I can overpower you!"

"What did I tell you about that?"

Lana sighed heavily while Zoro secretly savored the contact between their bodies. He saw no indication from her that she liked it too, though.

"Don't limit myself, I know, but be practical."

"If you can make me give even a little, I'll let you go," he promised. "Unless..."

His heart pounded, blood rushing loud as thunder in his ears as questions burned on the tip of his tongue. He held them in check, gauging her reaction, considering the consequences of directness.

"Unless...?" Lana trailed off, tone inquisitive. Once again, silence gave her the opportunity to realize just how much of him was pressed against her. His eyes were dark again, shaded by the dim light in the cabin. Lana bit her lip as she held his gaze, pulse roaring as he adjusted his grip on her wrists.

'Is... is he...'

Zoro's hands slid up until his palms rested on hers. He couldn't stop his tongue from sliding over his lips when she reflexively clasped their fingers loosely.

"Unless you... don't want me to let you go," he rasped. His voice was low and deep, almost a whisper. Just like earlier, his lips were so close to hers, their quick breaths mingling. A shiver ripped through her as she fought to steady herself enough to speak.

"Z-Zoro, are you... do you-"

A crash interrupted her. The cabin door flew open violently and a large ball of fur rolled their way at breakneck speed. They cried out in unison as it hit them, slamming them both hard against the wall before ricocheting away. They slumped to the ground, both dazed as Luffy burst in, Usopp hot on his heels.

"CHOPPER BALL!" Luffy bellowed. "I SCORE!"

"Ugh, my head!" Lana groaned in pain. Sprawled at her side, Zoro moaned in agonized consensus.

"Zoro! Lana! Wanna play Chopper Ball with us?" Luffy grinned gleefully.

"My ball!" Usopp yelled, leaping on top of Chopper to stop him from rolling away.

"You have one minute to outscore Luffy before my guard point wears off," Chopper informed him from somewhere under all his fur.

"I'm good, but thanks," Lana informed her captain. "Zoro?"

"I'll pass."

He stood, shoved his hands deep into his pockets and strode away without another word. Lana got up and brushed herself off, aching head still spinning.

'What the hell was that about?' she wondered.

As far as Zoro was concerned, the matter was closed. He felt he'd reached an important realization after his little test.

'The way she was breathing, those wide eyes, pounding heart, stuttering... I scared her. That was a stupid thing to do.'

He knew the years she'd spent with the Seeker pirates had been far from easy or pleasant, but she'd never given him the details of her time with them. This omission glared at him, screaming of unspoken traumas that he seethed to even begin imagining.

'She doesn't want me touching her like that. Her reasons are her own. Maybe someday she'll tell me, maybe at some point she'll feel differently... but for now, I need to stick with training. I've finally found a situation where directness is going to do me more harm than good.'

Zoro set his resolve out of respect. If Lana wanted something from him, she would surely let him know. He expected that much of his tenacious shipmate.

___________________________________________

<== Previous Chapter

Next Chapter ==>

== First Chapter ==

[askblog-cvesocs]

General…

me yapping to ajax about auggreed angst:

(i swear at first i meant to summarize it but obviously my brain cannot summarize for shit.)

auggreed angst:

auggie starts hanging out with cage, and before they started to hang out with each other, reed started to distance himself from auggie (unknowingly. he like, didn’t want to, ya know), and he distanced himself so much that he felt bad talking to auggie, so he kinda stopped talking to him altogether. and then one time when cage and auggie talk about reed (like the fact that he’s visibly sad more often and they both know why), they both wanna help him, but cage doesn’t wanna like, go tell him or talk to him directly, so they both ask vee to help reed make new friends because he needs new friends (and vee tries. but she actually gets distracted doing handshakes and stuff with reed instead of talking to him about it, so she doesn’t talk about it yet), and then later, auggie goes to reed’s house to talk to reed. reed answers the door, and, to auggie, he looks really pissed, but really, reed is scared to talk to him. auggie tries to talk to him ask him what’s wrong and how they can fix it, whatever the problem is. reed answers auggie’s questions passive aggressively(?) (i think?) and he’s not really answering. he’s being vague and avoiding the questions, and auggie tells him that he wants him to just, be straight up about it, and reed accidentally yells at him (raises his voice at him, but to auggie it felt like he was yelling), “auggie, not everyone can communicate as well as you, not everyone can be straight forward with you! i can’t be straightforward with you right now. i.. i don’t know how! i don’t know what’s wrong.. i’m sorry but i just can’t tell you. i don’t know. i can’t always be straight up about it. it doesn’t always work that way. please just, i can’t. i’m sorry but i can’t.”

(what i didn’t send to ajax yet): — that hurt auggie. he doesn’t know why, (neither do i), but it really hurt. after auggie leaves, reed mentally beats himself up about the whole thing. — about him distancing himself from auggie. about him not talking to auggie nearly as much anymore. about feeling like shit because he’s worried that auggie is gonna end up hating him or disliking him. about his realization that auggie, right now, is basically his everything. about the fact that he’s lonely without auggie. about the fact that he hung out with auggie so much that now he feels like auggie is sick of him because of it. about the fact that auggie is now hanging out with cage, and cage and reed ended up distancing, so he’s worried that what happened with him and cage will happen with him and auggie too. — reed is scared that auggie is gonna start to become distant as well after this. he knows that he, himself, is becoming distant, but if auggie becomes distant too, he’s scared that their friendship, relationship, might end. it might be over. he’s worried that they’ll end up becoming strangers after a while, like he and cage seemed to. he’s worried that auggie might leave him for good. that he might give up on trying to talk to him. — reed tells himself that he should talk to him, that he should try to fix it, but for some reason he can’t bring himself to do it.

reed thought of their conversation as an argument with auggie. auggie saw it as just a really stern conversation that was serious. — auggie went to cage after this, and he told him about how it went. (he didn’t really go into specifics about what they said to each other, but he did tell him word for word what reed had said to him).

— (by the way, what i said reed said isn’t like fully accurate or set in stone. i might rewrite what he actually said) —

when auggie went to cage to talk about it, cage told him that he should try and give reed some time to figure out what he needs to figure out. cage told auggie,

wooo!! cage monologue! (i think it’s a monologue?) (he means this all lightheartedly too. i wrote only dialogue because it’s easier for me.) — (this is very sentimental. after writing it all and rereading it, i’m like tearing up.)

“even though reed is distancing himself from you, i know that deep down, reed feels like total shit about it. even though he may seem upset with you, he’s probably not. i’m.. sure that he’s in a battle with himself right now. i.. i know how it feels. but, don’t give up on him, auggie. don’t stop trying to talk to him or figure it out. it might take him some time, so.. give him that time. if you really want to figure things out with him, he’s gonna need some time, so.. let him have it. i made the mistake of.. of giving up on him. of giving up on trying. i just.. i felt like i couldn’t make things better with us anymore, so i didn’t try. and.. now look at us. i’m sure he sees me as a total stranger now. ..but he truly cherishes you, auggie. i know that he does. he’s.. probably scared right now that.. that what happened with us, is gonna happen with you guys. so.. don’t give up on him. be.. be gentle. let him know that you haven’t stopped caring. subtly. maybe talking to him directly about it isn’t a good approach, at least not for him. but maybe just.. simply smiling at him when you pass by each other will work. if he doesn’t say anything to you, just smile at him. give him a wave or something. just, some kind of acknowledgment that.. that he exists. i.. i made that mistake. i made it seem like i really stopped caring. i think i stopped acknowledging him. and.. and he gave up on me too.. we never went back. we never tried again.. to.. to be friends. and, i do want to try again with him, be his friend again.. but.. at this point, i feel like i really can’t. but.. but you guys can. you guys can work through it. i know you can. i know you can, auggie. you’re.. you’re understanding. you’re patient. you’ll give him time, if that’s what he needs. i know you will. because you’re like that. you’re.. you’re stubborn. you won’t just give up. and if you did, well i truly doubt that you ever would. but.. you’re a keeper, auggie. he doesn’t want to lose you, and i know it. i don’t ever wanna lose you either. you’re an amazing person. …and i really appreciate you. you’ve helped me. especially that.. that time with ethan. i.. i really, truly, cannot thank you enough, for being there for me. and i’ll be there for you as well. i want to be there for you when you need it. you deserve to be cared for. to be cared about. you deserve to have the same support that you give to others. …ya know, i feel like you probably don’t care about yourself as much you care about others. well, specifically the people close to you. but, you should care about yourself. i don’t know if you do already, but, i really hope you do take care of yourself. treat yourself well. you really deserve it.”

halfway through this, auggie started tearing up. happy tears. grateful tears.

uhmm… aannnddd… i take a bow. thank you for reading. this is about all i got right now.

but..

auggreed angst!!!! (i love them so much. it breaks my heart)

and cage and auggie fluff. <33

(i’m so glad that i finally have something good to post. finallyyy some story time. yippie sauce)

___

[aussietummytickler]

I will say this, and I will say this only once.

Don't ever send photos of your junk to people you barely know (in fact I'd argue don't, period.) without nothing less than absolute, whitelisted, consent.

Doesn't matter how friendly you might be with each other.

Because if the consent isn't there to do that, and you haven't even bothered to try and ask the consent of the person before doing it (not to mention having taken the time to establish some sort of relationship with them), then...

Don't. Fucking. Do it.

I'm sorry for all those who have dealt with this from strangers on a goodness-knows-how-often basis.

And when it's from someone you're friends with, (well... "friends". Acquaintance perhaps.) that bad taste in the mouth lingers something fierce.

No matter how comfortable you feel with me, if you do not ask for my consent, *you do not have my consent*. Do *not* assume you have it because you "feel comfortable around me", because unless it is *directly told to you*, don't fucking do it.

Direct communication is not that fucking hard to get a grasp of.

Also, *look* at my profile. Please. I am ace. I do not give the slightest fuck what your junk looks like, how well it's shaved, whatever the fuck it might be.

NEVER send intimate photos without the absolute direct and explicit consent of the other person.

Because of that breach of trust, of space, of consent, I now feel extremely uncomfortable, and my friendship has been strained and stained.

This is regarding a person who I've become friends with in only the past week. I felt more and more comfortable with them the more I talked to them, and I felt I could trust them, that they understood me, my boundaries, my asexuality. I was wrong.

I was very, very wrong.

Please. Please for the love of all that is good, no matter how much or how little you know someone, do not send that stuff, ever, unless the other person has whitelisted you. Given explicit and enthusiastic consent. Without it, you are invading personal space. You are crossing boundaries you did not even bother to ask about. Save that kind of thing for an intimate relationship, or when you are extremely close with the other person and have taken much, much longer time to be able to share that with. Even then, consent is key. Even then, communication is vital.

Because otherwise you will make people like me sick to fucking death of having boundaries crossed.

[adultswim2021]

The Boondocks #28: “The Story of Gangstalicious Part 2” | February 4, 2008, - 11:30PM | S02E13

A follow-up to the first Gangstalicious episode. In this episode, we find out that RIley has continued to be in touch with Gangstalicious, who sends Riley free CDs and other merch all the time. It’s evident (and eventually confirmed) that the reason for this is he’s effectively sending Riley these care packages as a hush payment. The punchline from the first episode (Riley in extreme denial about Gangstalicious’ sexuality, that is) carries over to this one; Riley just thinks they’re good friends and still believes that he hallucinated Gangstalicious’ doing a big gay kiss on the lips with another fella.

Ganstalicious has a song called “Homies over Hoes” which is tearing up the charts. In fact, Gangsatlicous has never been hotter. He even debuts his fashion line on Regis and Kelly, which is just ridiculously gay stuff. Riley, still oblivious, proudly wears the gay guy stuff, while Grandad panics about his grandson becoming a gay dude. Riley stays in denial, even in the face of a tell-all book written by a woman who was rebuffed by Gangstalicious for being gay reasons. Eventually, Riley confronts Gangstalicious and asks him point blank if he’s gay. Gangstalicious still denies it, and Riley wholeheartedly accepts his denial at face value. And that’s the end.

This is a really funny one, but it may not be to some people’s tastes. The harsh gay panic on display from some of the characters will come off outdated or just unfunny to plenty. It’s important to note that this was an era when I think most gay-panic comedy was written with some degree of irony, or at the very least it was presented that way after the fact by a lot of creatives who weren’t done going to the gay jokes well. It’s, of course, absurd to be homophobic, which is why it’s funny when we write a character calling another person gay, that kind of thing. Nevermind they are reaping the benefits of having chucklheads from the midwest just taking those jokes at face value and enjoying them wholeheartedly. 

A lot of these jokes are weaponized now for various battles in modern culture wars. I have a distaste for anyone taking stuff like the “You know how I know you’re gay?” scene from The 40 Year Old Virgin and balling up their fists in outrage either that those jokes ever existed or that current movies aren’t telling jokes exactly those ones anymore. Please just let being gay or trans be normal. I promise, it’s much more important than being able to see gay jokes in new movies. You can still watch this episode on HBOMax right now and laugh at it in the privacy of your own home, if you want. We don’t need the same gay jokes that were told about Michael Jackson to be told again about [I literally have no idea who to put here, sorry!]. 

But basically, yes, the only truly sympathetic character here might be Gangsalicious himself, who has to continue living a lie. Riley is homophobic because he’s a dumb kid. Granddad is homophobic because he’s an old stupid man. Thugnificent and his crew are homophobic because they are cowardly, literally seen shaking and hiding from the gay man at their doorstep they originally agreed to collab with. Huey is even guilty in this episode because he might directly benefit from Riley’s perceived gayness and get his own room. This episode accurately reflects a time when being homophobic was just the easiest path. 

I’m probably giving the episode too generous of a read here. I have no clue how Aaron mcgruder feels about gay people. I personally don’t know how actually homophobic the jokes are meant to be. The disclaimer at the start is rather coarse, and if that’s the only thing we have to go on then this episode probably deserves some flack. But I thought the episode was funny, and it might be in part due to the mental gymnastics I did to make it reflect my own feelings a little more. And at the end of the day, aren’t my own delusions the most important thing in the entire world?

[casperfergy]

Rosetta

Chapter 2: America, America, America

Hi! I'm Rosetta I've been in America for about 7 years now I really don't know much about my life before I still miss my family however I don't remember much anymore. I do know however I am a bit strange. And due to that fact I don't have really any friends except my bestie and my bro bestie. When Mrs Malfoy had brought me over to America she had introduced me to my new family said it was only going to be temporary until I found my own heritage and hopefully could become a part of my biologic family if possible. And she left me in the hands of a wonderful couple and family, even though there were quite a few secrets and was in fact temporary.

I had a lot of questions Beyond a lot of questions, however not a lot of them got answered. At first it started well everybody was so enthusiastic and helpful for me to find my family, until one day I'm assuming they got my results as far as blood work and possibly found out who my parents actually are. I only assume this because after this particular day the whole family started acting a little strange towards me and jumpy and scared and fearful for no apparent reason at every little thing I might do. I know things around me happen and I do know quite a bit of it is because of me although about 90% of it I have absolutely no idea why. And every single time I asked about the results they say it hasn't come in yet and change the subject. But they do so with a knowing look I'm guessing they think I'm stupid and can't see it.

Well eventually they make it quite obvious they're not trying anymore. And they send me off to another family they think will be "better suited for me". Well I ended up going through about three different families in the next year apparently scaring them half to death.

The last family, I had just become a true part of the family, when there was an incident in the back woods with me and my sub sisters. The older sister who was older than me, she was about 16 I had just turned 13, and my little sister was only five. But apparently we were both quite irritating to the oldest and was in her way she was the only biological child of the couple, next thing I know she bound us up and put us in ant hills almost armpit deep. Now I can handle pain just fine have always been able to do so I've been dealing with her Antics off and on just for the fact that I might have a chance to be part of the family, however this time having our sweet sister in the same situation as me who no way could handle this kind of pain with all these fire ants, I just go frantic! Trying to find something to get me out even just temporarily to get her out of that pit of ants.

I can't help it I have to ask, "why are you doing this to your own sister?"

She just laughs, "neither of you were ever my sister you're just in the way." Even with us there she got all the attention, so why did she think we were in the way? I look at her confused and confounded, looking around trying to find something to distract her while I am wiggling my way out of the bondage and in turn out of the hole she dug me in. Then in the distance behind her I see a creature moving through the reads and I asked it to bite her. She looked at me stupid and like I was crazy. I didn't know what the creature was I just asked it to bite her so she would be temporarily distracted with the pain instead of with us. And that my little friend obliges, and she is in fact distracted with the pain long enough for me to get out of my binds and to get to my sister and help her out of there.

She was covered in head to toe with bites from those ants. I immediately call Mom and Dad. There is no answer. So I called the hospital directly and 911 told them of the entire situation. And waited for them to come get my sisters, when we got to the hospital I have to tell them one more time two more time three more times what happened to the exact account including me to asking the creature behind my sister to bite her because of the situation she had put us in. My little sister recovered and got better fast however when our parents got there they swooned and coddled the oldest calling her their baby. The oldest blamed it all on us and called me a freak talking to a snake and telling it to bite her when she didn't do anything except bug us. Our parents didn't even want to listen to our side of the story, nor do they seem to care when the doctor came in telling them directly about all the ant bites and how the youngest could have died because of it.

All they cared about is when the doctor to the oldest daughter came in and told them what bit her was a very venomous fast-acting snake and she only had days if not hours to live. They looked at me with a disgust and an annoyance that I never want to see again. And just like the doctor foretold within 24 hours the oldest was gone although still not much of a sister. Since the papers had went through and I was officially a part of the family before the situation they could not take me back although you could see in their eyes they really wanted to. Blaming me for their baby's death, blaming the freak! But all I was trying to do was protect my little sister, my true sister.

Now they knew from sayings that I was different from the very beginning however no one really knew me well except my little sister and just like a true sister she loved me anyway I could talk to animals I loved to just get lost in the woods and just to scrounge and live sometimes, I would stay in there for hours or sometimes the weekend and not even be bothered by having no contact with the outside world even just for a few hours or a couple days. I had accepted myself even though I know no one else would besides that little five-year-old, so I would and will do anything to protect her. And I did just that.

Now it's been a few months from that unexpected death and for the first time ever getting my own mail. But what was strange is how it was delivered, it came by flight through the air in the claws of a hooting Brown barn owl so beautiful in its own right and it perfectly dropped it right into my hands hooted goodbye and then left, and of course I had to say thank you in Hoot. It almost fell through window from Surprise LOL.

It was my acceptance letter to a boarding school? Welcome to Hogwarts the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Witchcraft and Wizardry!? I don't know if I'm going nuts or if this is a practical joke. But either way I numbly go inside and go to my parents giving them my mail, honestly not knowing what to think. They looked at me like they knew it, although just be sure they did research and the next few weeks before I accept my letter as fact and not fiction. It also gave me an address to meet up with the groundskeeper of the establishment, known as Hagrid. Saying they would love to have a Riddle back in Hogwarts. All I wondered was a Riddle, So that was my original last name? How do they know that?

[mephicchi]

/A small brown and speckled feather falls out of the letter once unfolded./

Dearest Barkeep,

I fear I must apologise for my tardiness today. I had hoped to get this letter in your office before you left for the Drunken Knight this evening. Alas, I was delayed.

I don't know how you sleep with all these knights stomping about all hours of the night. I must admit I considered stealing a peek inside your bedchambers at this late hour. You can imagine how quickly I had to shelve that curiosity for another night.

But there's no need to be dramatic, sir knight, I've no desire to bring about your end before your time. At least not of my own desire. Keep pouring the drinks and you'll be safe within my company. You wrote of your fondness for roses and so I tucked one away for you to find, consider it a gesture of goodwill.

You'll be disappointed to discover I'm not really one for books. I perused over your collection during my time gallivanting about in your office as you've noticed. It's all a little too dreary for my tastes. I'm much more fond of absorbing stories the traditional way, through oral means or directly written, such as the charming little letters a certain delivery moogle drops off for me to find. You could consider myself a people person, of sorts, but even that I hesitate to say with any surety.

If I really must engage in some form of open combat I would prefer to poke my enemies full of holes from a particularly healthy distance. And if that fails to stop them in their tracks you might have already discovered my ulterior means of doing so, albeit much more unsavoury. An honourable knight would hardly approve of such methods, so I'll spare you the details and let you keep your honour intact for fraternizing with a disgrace such as mineself. But really, I prefer to avoid open conflicts. It leaves a poor taste in my mouth that even the strongest ale spring water cannot wash out.

And for your last question. I am a simple creature, my friend, and I grow bored swiftly in idleness. Break-ins are but one method for myself to alleviate the tension of boredom. Don't think I haven't noticed you are enjoying the mystery surrounding our exchange too. Else you would simply put aside this chocobo scratching and be about your business. I, for one, am appreciative that you haven't.

My turn. Where did you spend your youth? You must have at least one fond memory from a time long passed.

Goodnight, sweet knight.

/The letter is dropped off together with a small package, the package contains a small bottle labeled "Spring water", it is filled with what seems to be Spiced Cider/

Once again I greet you, my peculiar acquaintance,

you are so very adamant about your appreciation of "Spring water" that it seems you rarely drink anything else, therefore I dared to send along a niche beverage that I thought you should try.

Your answers sound so very truthful, yet in the last letter I was advised to take them all with a grain of salt, nevertheless I would not be surprised if you simply said that to throw me off.

I do not make it a secret that I enjoy this shrouded exchange, in fact I can tell you without issue that I get a little excited whenever I discover a letter of yours, it is like discovering a clue that leads me closer and closer to solving a long unsolved mystery, perhaps I should have entertained the thought of becoming a detective, but the time for that is long over.

Now to answer your question, I spent my youth in the Brumes of Ishgard, back then fortunately not as cold as they are nowadays, my father had been stripped of his position as a Temple Knight after he had lost the ability to fight due to a grieve injury, and my mother left not long after my birth, most people would say it was a harsh childhood, but it had its moments. As I was getting closer and closer to adulthood, my father managed to turn in a favor with a former colleague of his and got me the opportunity to enlist in the ranks of the Temple knights, an offer I could obviously not refuse, especially considering my life up to that point. If I was to choose one particular fond memory to tell you of, it'd be of the day I completed my training and was officially knighted at the young age of 19, not belonging to a noble house of Ishgard and having been homeless until not long before that day, it was the moment I knew that my life had reached a turning point, and well, look at where I am now. I apologize if this letter seems a bit like the ramblings of a tired old man, but today has been quite exhausting and I still feel yesterdays shift weigh in on my body, therefore I will probably not work at Starfall today, a dear friend of mine returns to the Café again today and will have his first shift after what feels like a century, so I will let him have the limelight and simply relax in my office during that time. With utmost respect and admiration for your abilities, Mephiston Godefroy

[alphabetsoup-blogposts]

Did I ever want the job? No. Did I ever apply for it? Yes.

So, I asked [𐑡] for suggestions to escape from [my job] and, ideally, the City of London. [S] was still on the [same] premises when I asked, which had set me off—back then I don’t think I felt able to approach [S] directly then (although at one point in 2017, I think, I did tell him that [he had] my ideal job and he said it wasn’t as ideal as I might think). I think I hoped that [𐑡] would say “oh [my friend] knows [S], why don’t we make an approach to him…” But, equally, I was losing confidence, I’d kind of given up thinking I was good enough for the “overseas” bit and I’d sort of decided that I needed to do it in two stages--out of [my job] and then out of the country. So, although I was probably hoping “at best” that [𐑡] would speak to [S] or ask [his friend] to do so (and I remember that quite clearly), I might have presented my request to [𐑡] less specifically, less in the manner of a direct request--or I might have said “could you or [your friend] have a word…”, it’s certainly possible.  Anyway, he said “can I send you details of this new programme to recruit [women] with different kinds of experience and expertise?” and right on the spot I expressed ambivalence.

...

So, [𐑡] sent me the application forms at [my address] and I filled them out while [the Boy] and I were on holiday in Guernsey that year. I can’t begin to describe how heavy, slow and unwilling I felt about it all.  I sent them to [him] to ask if he had feedback and he sent them back saying they weren’t really good enough and would “benefit from as much time as you can spend on them, Jo” (more stuff like .—.-not so much the feedback as the fact of the need to give a wholesale performance review that makes you feel bad about yourself before you even begin).  As I plugged away at the forms, I became more and more depressed just thinking that being a judge would be a kind of living death.  I was also beginning to worry very seriously that it would bring me into greater proximity to [𐑡] and [his friend].  It may have been around this time or a bit later that i said to [my neighbour] that I’d become kind of paralysed about applying for any jobs--even a dream job [overseas]—.-because I was worried that if I did any kind of work in the small incestuous world of financial markets law, [he] and [his friend] would just “pop up in a corridor” and try and tell me how to do my job.  I was also becoming aware that I hadn’t really managed to find referees that weren’t influenced by [him] and [his friend]. My old CV still had [my Boss] and [him] on it.  I told [him], too, that I wanted to work overseas and was occasionally depressed. The trouble is I had the sense that he was talking to [my Boss] about me on the basis of his mistaken assumption that we were somehow “special friends”.  I was using “depression” as a way of telling people that the external stimuli in my life were really out of kilter and I needed a change in order to manage my mental health and prevent it deteriorating --I still do--but I wonder if [he] was telling someone like [my Boss] that what I really needed was more protective avuncular watching by [him] to safeguard my mental health.  That’s how horror films work, right?  The victims’ fears and complaints are just used to bring her into closer proximity with the thing she fears.  I don’t know. That could just be the fact that once you get to a certain point of fearing someone, you become irrational about it.

At some point between the conversation at Cafe ,,, and the Dinner at the ..., I became convinced that [he] and [his friend] were managing everything, that they were invested in having people beholden to them and/or negatively incentivised by them (carrot and stick): that [he] and [his friend] might not have a view on the definitional boundary of Spot FX but if anything key was being decided, like [geopolitical engagement], they would pop up and find a way to say how you should do it. Perhaps that was neurosis, I don’t know, it’s how I felt.

I submitted the forms and told [him] I’d done that and he invited me for coffee at Natural Kitchen. I’d got to the point where I believed this to be the only option on offer and I’d realised I still didn’t want to do it.  I explained it to [him] in terms of “it’s just not me--I haven’t enjoyed being a barrister, this won’t make it better, I don’t find myself in sympathy with judges most of the time and one of the things about [where I work now] is that I say that with the benefit of quite a great deal of knowledge”.  I mean, just on a basic calculation whatever people think they know about me--and [some] used to say “you’d make a great judge”--is wrong. I’m irreverent, restless, impatient, easily irritated by waffle or BS, put off by pomp and circumstance, and motivated exclusively by [the chance to explore] the changing the big picture, the trillions, the political corruption and “wrongness” of the world, [to see administrations] creating new things, new rules, new regimes out of thin air.  None of that is any part of judging. And anyway I don’t even need to use my pre-frontal cortex and the power of reasoning to know that being a judge would be a living death--that’s a base amygdala kinda thing.  I said it to [E], for example, for years before that.  He wanted to become a judge, it was a kind of life dream despite all his success as a [lawyer], we had several difficult conversations when I had to explain that I didn’t see the world that way, wouldn’t be interested in following in his footsteps, didn’t want a closer association like he did with judges (including [𐑡])--back in the day [E] seemed to need my approval or admiration, or at least to want it quite badly. Anyway, as I’ve said, [𐑡] was very angry but in that suppressed way he has.  One thing he said during that conversation was that he’d been appointed as a kind of mentor.  He didn’t actually say, I think, that he was assigned to me--because that would be odd, given his insistence on “friendship”--but at the same time he strongly implied it.  And perhaps he didn’t even say that he’d been appointed, maybe he just said something like “I’ve invited you to coffee because [someone influential] has been concerned to invite qualified [people] to act as mentors to this programme” or something.  I had the sense of his hedging what he was saying and I was confused... In contrast at some point--it may have been then or on the phone later—I recollect that he dropped in that this was really an application for a taster opportunity. I’m trying to think about why I was confused about that, having filled out the forms. Looking back I still don’t know (on that sole point) exactly who said what, what the forms said or what I understood.  I think possibly that [he] sort of sold this as a possible alternative route...  I did understand most of that from the beginning but there was nonetheless a kind of shift--from the idea that it was an application for the first stage of a long and highly competitive process to the idea that it was an application for a taster session to see if you might want to embark on a long process.  Anyway, another reason (if I needed one) for my ambivalence was indeed this idea that all I was doing was embarking on some kind of long evaluative process (at best) and I really felt not only that I didn’t want to make it over the finish line at all but also that it was a distraction from the urgency of my needing to escape.  In other words, even had I wanted to be a judge, at that stage I would have preferred an instant low key job outside the City of London and legal environs rather than a more prestigious but deferred job within it.

[ta3mint]

I know I ask for a lot of Minho but I need this to feed into my delusions 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️a minho fluff but can you make sure they dance in the rain on a rooftop

Experiment 

Contains: fluff so fluffy, you might need to see the dentist after reading, Minho being a cute little shit, playful banter between friends, Minho x gn reader, best friends to lovers 

Warnings: name calling (like stupid, etc.,), language from Y/N, no proofreading 

Word Count: 2,390

You sighed, staring at your phone and refreshing it over and over to make yourself feel better.

Recently, you had joined a dating app because you weren’t having any luck in real life. And you hated to admit it, but you were becoming desperate. All your friends seemed to have partners they were happy with, and it made you feel lonely in every sense of the word. It was starting to become an intense loneliness, one that you felt in every fiber of your being. You so desperately wanted to love someone and be loved back.

Figuring you weren’t going to get any messages any time soon, you turned your phone off with a click, and tossed it onto the bed beside you before throwing yourself backwards, head hitting the pillow instantly.

Of course your phone alerted you to a text as soon as you did so, which elicited a groan from you. Who could have such horrible timing?

You grabbed your phone and glanced at the message preview to see who it was from.

It turns out it was from your best friend Minho, so the interruption could slide this time.

“Hey, are you doing anything today? I’m boreddddd”

You chuckled to yourself as you read the message. It was complimented with a cartoon sticker of a cat crying. He really must be wanting to hang out.

“No, I’m not doing anything today. Wanna hang?”

“Duh, that’s why I messaged you, stupid. I’ll be over in 10. Pick out a movie or something, idc. Just bored n wanna see you.”

Once again, you laughed, not caring that he called you stupid. It was a pretty normal thing in your friendship, and it came from both sides.

You did as he asked and picked out a movie, deciding to make some popcorn to go with it. By the time you were finished, you heard a knock at the door. An incessant knock. One that did not end until you threw the door open with an exasperated breath. But you knew exactly who it was before you even turned the corner to get to the door. Only one person was that annoying in such an endearing way.

“Minho! I didn’t even know you were here. Maybe you should’ve knocked even more.”

He stepped into your apartment like he lived there, as was customary, and cracked a smile. Then he raised his hand and knocked against your forehead gently a few times.

“Anyone home?”

You rolled your eyes at him, and grabbed his wrist to pull his hand away from your head.

“Haha, very funny. Come on before the popcorn gets stale.”

“Shut up. You’re stale.”

“Minho, what the fuck does that even mean?”

~

You were now sitting on the couch with Minho, the giant bowl of popcorn between you. It was almost empty now even though you were only about 30 minutes into the movie. But that was how it normally went for lots of people.

Right when the movie was getting good, a sudden boom of thunder sounded, followed by what seemed like the entire ocean falling out of the sky. You yelped at the unexpected noise, jumping up and somehow bringing the bowl with you, sending the remaining pieces of popcorn inside it everywhere. 

“(Y/N)! It was just thunder. Are you okay?”

Your heart was hammering in your chest. It wasn’t the thunder that scared you necessarily, just the noise out of nowhere. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. It just startled me.”

You turned to look at Minho, but you didn’t realize how close you had become after jumping up. His face was only inches from yours, and your already increased heartbeat was exacerbated by that fact. It didn’t help that he was looking directly at you, not shying away from the eye contact, with a smirk on his face. 

“Like what you see?”

You scoffed, shoving at his arm to put some distance between the two of you. 

“In your dreams, shithead.” 

Minho gasped, raising a hand to his mouth in fake shock.

“You’re such a meanie, (Y/N). I’m hurt.”

Without saying anything else, you shook your head to try and move on and also clear the weird thoughts that were suddenly in your head. 

What had gotten into him? Better yet, what had gotten into you? You had never once thought about your best friend in that way, and yet... here you were. And there he was, seemingly flirting with you all of a sudden. 

Your poor heart still hadn’t slowed down, but it wasn’t because of the storm anymore. It was because of the man next to you. He had his attention turned back to the movie now, seemingly unbothered by what had just happened. It had felt like such a huge deal to you...

What you didn’t know was that Minho’s heart was racing as well. He was having quite similar thoughts to yours, and he wasn’t sure where they came from. But he knew he liked them. They felt right and he wanted to feel more. He wanted to feel you and be closer to you, specifically. 

Minho had a sudden idea. An experiment, of sorts. 

He reached out to grab the remote and pause the movie before he lost his confidence, which earned a confused look from you. 

“What’s up? Need to use the bathroom or something?” 

Without answering, he stood and made his way over to the window, brushing the curtains aside to look out at the sky. 

He came back over to you, a weird look on his face that you didn’t recognize. 

“Why are you looking at me like that Minho?” You asked him, more quietly than you had meant to. 

“Do you trust me?”

Minho sounded serious. You weren’t sure what was going on, but you nodded nonetheless. He smiled and reached out a hand to you.

“Come with me. I want to try something.”

Tentatively, you grabbed his hand and stood up. It wasn’t the first time you had held hands with him- far from it, in fact. But this time felt different. It felt electric. 

~

Minho led you by the hand to the back stairwell of your apartment building, gripping it tightly the entire way. It was like he was afraid of you turning around and leaving him, the way he held on so intensely. You didn’t mind it, though. 

Before opening the door to step out onto the roof, he turned around and faced you head on. He looked scared, and it made you wonder why. 

“Do you trust me?” He asked you for the second time. 

“I do,” you answered without a second thought. You were confused, but you couldn’t help but be excited as well. 

He smiled, letting out a breath in what seemed like relief. Then, he pushed the heavy door open, leading you out. 

The rain had calmed down a lot, now only a slight drizzle dusting the air. It was eerily quiet, but it was peaceful. 

“Why are we up here, Minho?”

He didn’t look at you, only leading you out farther until you were smack in the middle of the roof. It was starting to get dark, the lights of the city decorating the background. You truly had no idea what was going on. 

“They did it like this in a movie I saw one time,” Minho muttered, more to himself than to you. 

“Who did what, Minho?”

He was snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of your voice, and turned to look at you properly for the first time since he brought you up here. And you looked at him, your heart instantly aching at the sight. 

His hair was starting to stick to his forehead and neck because of the moisture in the air and his mouth was slightly ajar, stark white teeth hidden behind soft, pink lips. In his eyes was a look you could only describe as awe. There was a certain sparkle there that made your stomach flip over, and you swallowed thickly trying to calm down. Your eyes were then drawn to the silver earrings in his ears, and the way they were glistening in the dimming sunlight. A rain drop fell down the outer shell of his left ear all the way down to his neck to his t-shirt, which was also starting to stick to his perfectly toned body. 

Had he always looked this beautiful?

“These best friends, they- they danced together and discovered their true feelings. Even though they had been there all along.”

Their true feelings? 

“Although, it wasn’t in the rain. Or on a roof,” he laughed out breathlessly. “I just thought it would be fun.”

Your heart felt like it might jump out of your chest at his words. But truth be told, you wanted to try it too. 

“Dance with me then.”

He smiled his usual crooked smile when you spoke, and this time it made your limbs tingle just looking at it, even though you had seen it countless times before. Maybe it was because of earlier, or maybe the rain, or because of the way he was looking at you. 

Minho slowly reached out and placed a hand on your waist, bringing you closer to him before doing the same with his other hand. 

“Is it okay if I touch you here?” 

Your face was on fire, but you managed to give a slight nod, the cool air now not being able to keep up with the heat you were feeling. 

“Good,” Minho whispered, a light pink blush dusting him as well. 

Shakily, you placed your hands around his neck, your forearms resting on his shoulders. 

“Does this feel alright?” You asked him in an almost silent whisper. 

He nodded, a strand of wet hair falling into his eyes because of the motion. Without saying anything else, he started swaying with you to a beat in his head only he could hear. You followed as best you could, but you were too distracted with the way his hands felt against your upper hips. They were barely putting any pressure on you and yet, it was a crushing weight at the same time. 

“(Y/N)?” Minho asked out of nowhere after a few minutes. 

“Hmm?”

“Is it just me or...does this feel like...just right? Like it was...”

“Meant to be?” You finished for him. 

It was true. Besides the nerves you felt regarding your newfound thoughts you had about your best friend, this felt eerily natural. Like you had done it a million times. You suddenly wanted to do it a million more.

“We are...really dumb.”

Minho laughed once more, this time louder and more normal sounding.

“Maybe so. It makes sense, honestly.”

Another few minutes went by of the two of you swaying silently together in the gentle rain before Minho spoke again.

“I want to try something else that they didn’t do in the movie.”

You cocked your head to the side, wondering what it was. Thankfully your nerves had calmed down, and you were leaning into him now, almost chest to chest. It felt so natural now, you hadn’t even noticed.

“Tell me,” you said as you looked up at him, rain leaving wet trails down your cheeks. 

Minho removed one hand from your waist and placed it gently against your cheek, gripping you a bit tighter now with the other hand. 

“I would rather show you, if that’s alright.”

Your breath hitched in your throat and your hands tightened on the back of his neck, rubbing against the ends of his wet hair. Was your best friend in the whole world really about to kiss you?

His thumb was rubbing back and forth gently against your cheek, and you realized he was waiting for permission. 

“I would be sad if you didn’t at this point, Minho.”

He laughed out a quiet breath and before he lost his burst of confidence, he leaned in to press his lips against yours. 

You had never thought about what kissing your best friend would be like before tonight, but part of you was glad you hadn’t. Because there was no way it would’ve lived up to the real thing. 

Minho held you and kissed you in a similar fashion- like he was afraid you were going to disappear or like he was going to break you, either one of the two. 

For a couple of seconds, the two of you stood stock still, simply having your lips pressed against each other’s without moving. Then you got a bit more brave. 

Your fingers played with the hair at the base of his neck, sending shivers down Minho’s spine. This encouraged him to tilt his head a bit, finally moving his lips and pressing them harder against yours. You drew in a breath through your nose at the sudden increase in intensity and pushed yourself against his body, liking the feeling of being so close to him. 

Minho’s head was spinning in the best way as he pulled his face away from yours, but only a few inches. 

“How was that?” He whispered, already wanting to dive back in. 

“It feels like we’re more than friends now, Minho.”

The two of you made eye contact for a split second before bursting into nervous laughter, Minho pulling you into his chest and resting your head underneath his chin, while he wrapped his arm around you protectively. 

“I was hoping you would say that. Why didn’t we do this sooner?”

You thought to yourself for a moment before responding.

“Maybe it’s because we already did everything that couples do, ya know? We hold hands all the time, we cuddle all the time. It was right there in front of our eyes the whole time, but we just didn’t realize it. We were never just friends.”

Minho glanced down at you, rubbing your back gently and relishing in your warmth, the rain suddenly really cold again. 

“Thank God for thunderstorms, I guess.”

You giggled and stood up on your toes to peck his cheek, making a mental note to delete that dating app later. You already had what you wanted, even if it had taken you forever to realize it. 

~

“So you did like what you saw after all!”

“Minho, I swear if you don’t shut the hell up-”

~

[loopy-froots]

Childhood Friends

Brahms Heelshire x afab!Reader

Author: @loopy-froots

Word Count: 3261 (WOW wtf…)

Slight request by @leahromanof : small age gap (Brahms is 26-28 and the reader is 20)

Summary: The Reader grew up very close to the Heelshire family, as their parents were business partners with them. However, after the fire incident, Brahms and the Reader took some space from each other. While the Reader knew Brahms was still alive, they didn’t know under the circumstances he was. When a sudden tragedy strikes their family, the Reader is left with no home. The Heelshire family offer their home with welcoming arms, but much has changed between all of them since they have last seen each other.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, swearing, slasher x reader, smut, virgin/unprotected sex (masc and fem), abusive parents (fem), insecurities (on both parts), slight age gap (6ish years?), a slight size kink (if you squint?), etc.

Author’s Note: I wasn’t too sure what to write for the age gap so I hope this is good enough!!! I also threw in a lot of personal needs I’ve been having, so I hope y’all don’t mind! Feel free to let me know your thoughts!!!

~~~

*2nd Person POV*

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You were finally going to see your beloved childhood friend, Brahms Heelshire, again after close to ten years of separation. You wished this was not under these circumstances, as you never intended to cause your family such turmoil.

“Y/n! Come in, why don’t you?” Mr. Heelshire exclaims as he opens his front door. He must have seen you walk up their driveway. You can see Mrs. Heelshire inside, but she shares a concerning expression. Trying to brush it off, you step inside and am greeted by the warmth of the house. It was a terribly chilly winter day, and the walk there exhausted you.

“Come, dear! Let me get you a cup of tea to warm you up! You look rather frozen!” Mrs. Heelshire snaps out of her funk and laughs al0ng with her husband. Their jovial attitude makes you feel rather welcomed and loved.

“I cannot thank you enough, Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire… I… I’m terribly sorry that this all happened… especially so suddenly…” You look down with embarrassment.

“Nonsense! We’re always happy to have you, Y/n! Our home is yours!” Mr. Heelshire smiles at you, but you get a somewhat urgent vibe from him. You’re not sure how to feel about it, but you figure since they’re being ever so kind you were in no position to question.

“Now, dear… why don’t you tell us exactly what happened… Perhaps we may help with your parents’ situation?” Mrs. Heelshire gently suggests, but you shake your head in disagreement.

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure that’s possible… you see, I recently came out to my parents as non-binary… they’ve never been overly supportive of that kind of stuff, but I knew I couldn’t hide myself any longer…” You explain shamefully.

“Oh my… that is a rather difficult predicament, hm? However, we want you to know that we fully support you… in fact, our own Brahms considers himself genderfluid,” Mrs. Heelshire shares, which honestly makes you feel less alone.

“Really? I… I had no idea… Thank you, but speaking of which… where is Brahms…? Does he still live with you?” You wonder.

“Oh, um… yes… he does, but he’s grown to be rather… timid… so he doesn’t always come out when people are visiting…” Mr. Heelshire explains swiftly, and you try to understand. You don’t fully know what he’s been through, so who are you to judge his social anxieties?

“That’s alright. Well, I just hope he knows how excited I am to see him again…” You confess, causing a surprised reaction from the Heelshire couple.

“Really? Well, that’s certainly wonderful! I’m sure he'll become more open to meeting you after he gets used to you being in the house…” Mrs. Heelshire states with a gentle smile, and you nod your head in agreement.

With that, you are then taken on a tour of the house. You’re shown areas you can and cannot wander to, and you mentally note each location that’s off limits. You’d never want to make the Heelshires uncomfortable, despite how curious you were. They show you to your room, which you immediately recognize as Brahms’ childhood room.

“Oh wow! This looks exactly how I remembered it!” You giggle.

“I’m glad you’re fond of it still, as Brahms insisted you take his room for your own… comfort…” Mr. Heelshire shares, but something tells you he’s not entirely being honest. However, you ignore the feeling bubbling up in your stomach.

“Well, feel free to unpack your things dear. As we mentioned before, we are planning on going on a trip within the next few days. So it will be just you and Brahms for a while…” Mrs. Heelshire reminds you, and you shiver slightly for some reason.

“Oh, yes… Well, I hope the two of you enjoy it!” You politely respond.

~~~

“Goodbye, dear! And remember, follow the rules and you’ll get no trouble from our dear Brahms!” The Heelshires bid you farewell and leave in their cab. Closing the door, you sigh in relief.

“Alright, follow the rules… I can do that… it’s the least I can do since they were so kind as to let me stay for a while…” You motivate yourself.

“Y/n…” A sudden familiar, childlike voice echoes through the house. You looked around to see who it came from, but you saw no one. It had to be Brahms, right? Who else could it have been, but where was he?

“B-Brahms?” You sheepishly call out. You hear no answer and suddenly feel quite stupid. Maybe you just heard the shifting of the house or imagined someone was calling your name?

“Alright, focus… first things first, making some lunch… hopefully he’ll come down to eat with me…?” You hope. You could’ve sworn you heard another childish giggle somewhere, but you try to shake the skittish feeling building up. You quickly make whatever you feel like for lunch, desperate to finish so that you can call Brahms down to eat.

“Um, Brahms? I… lunch is done… if you want some?” You yell throughout the house, but you hear no answer. Finally feeling defeat, you turn back to the kitchen and notice that one of the plates of food has disappeared.

“How did he get to it without me noticing?” You ask out loud. Every instinct within you tells you that something was wrong, but you tried your best to give the man some time to adjust to the new living situation.

“Y/n…?” In the middle of eating, you hear a now more adult version of the voice you heard earlier. You drop your fork in surprise and frantically look around for the source. You then see a tall and scruffy looking man standing at the end of the dining room. He was holding the plate that is now empty, and you figure that must be Brahms. He was very odd looking, in all honesty. He wore a porcelain mask that resembles the type of little dollies you used to keep as a kid.

“Oh, um… h-hello, Brahms…?” You try to be friendly towards him, despite the creepy feeling you got from him already. However, him not answering causes the suspicion to form again.

“Um… did you enjoy the meal I made for you?” You try to spark a conversation, but Brahms nonverbally nods in response.

“That’s good! I’m… glad…” You smile awkwardly at him, but his masked face remains expressionless. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, and Brahms notices the tense state you’re in. He begins to step closer to you, and sets his plate on the table. Sweating profusely, you wonder what he’s doing. He steps closer and closer to you until he’s directly in front of you. While you sit, he towers over you. You’d never admit it, but he’s very intimidating. However, you try your best to be polite.

“Is… everything alright, Brahms?” You ask innocently. He just stares at you, though, never saying a word. When you were about to get up and try to walk away, he grabs your arm and pulls you into him.

“B-Brahms…?!” You exclaim as he squeezes you in his broad arms. He’s rather warm, but trembling. Your heart relaxes when you realize he only wanted a hug.

“Y/n… nice to see you again…” He finally peeps out. Your cheeks heat up, but you lean into the embrace. The two of you just hold onto each other for a few moments, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Good to see you, too! I was worried you were upset with me for coming back after such a long time…” You try to pull away and look him in the eyes, but his grip keeps you there.

“Mm, no… not upset… lonely…” He breathes into your ear, sending a chill down your back. He was… lonely? That makes you feel bad… really bad… how could you leave him like you did after the incident?! It wasn’t completely your fault, as you parents were the main reason you stayed away. They told you what a dangerous person Brahms was, and they forbid you from being influenced by him in any way.

Additionally, your parents never liked how fond the two of you seemed towards each other, despite the slight age difference you had. Brahms was only six years older, and to you it didn’t matter for terms of friendship. However, your parents saw the attraction Brahms had towards you right away. As children, it only developed into a little crush, but the older the two of you got the more obvious it became, to the adults at least. You seemed quite oblivious to his attempts to woo you, as you had just thought he was being friendly.

“I…I’m sorry, Brahms… I should’ve… I wish I’d have… I’m sorry…” Tear well in your eyes as you look down from his gaze. Your focus then shifts to the ever growing bulge in his pants that you hadn’t noticed before.

“It’s alright… happy you’re here now…” Brahms strokes your hair with his free hand, and he leans into you. You feel him stroke your neck with his nose, seemingly trying to get a reaction out of you. Completely frozen, you felt unsure of what to do. All of the sudden, your head’s ideas clicked and made you realize the years of yearning he’d been doing for you.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t still have feelings for the boy you grew up with. You always admired how protective he was of you. You never admitted your affection towards him, though, as you thought he might react negatively. To you, the age difference acted as a barrier, but to him, it seemed he didn’t mind in the slightest. All he’s ever known was his love for you, despite the age gap. However, is this still the same boy as before? You probably barely knew him anymore. Then why were you getting so flustered over this simple interaction?

“Brahms?” You look back into his eyes with a curious glint. What was he planning with you?

“Hm?” He nonchalantly answers.

“Are you…?” You start, but then feel too embarrassed to finish.

“Yes,” He agrees without needing you to explain. You feel him jerk his hips into your stomach softly, desperate to get some friction between the two of you. As intoxicating as he was being, you still felt unsure of your stance with him.

“I’m not sure I want to… I mean, this is so soon… don’t you think?” You try to reason mainly with yourself to try and stop this from happening. With that, Brahms stops and pulls away from you with a pout.

“No?” He questions with sweet eyes.

“I… yes…?” You try to stand your ground with yourself again, but it’s no use. Brahms’ heartfelt pleading turns you to putty in his hands.

“Please?” He begs. With that, you finally agree, and he’s onto you. Groping all up and down your sides, front, and back, he feels every inch of your body as if he’s desperate to find something in you.

“Brahms… wait…?” You stop him again, realizing you hadn’t seen his actual face yet. You politely ask him to remove his mask, but he visibly slumps.

“Why…? You… don’t want to see me…” Brahms insecurely explains, but you shake your head.

“I do! Please…?” You whine as he continues to feel up your back. Brahms hesitates slightly, then agrees. With that, he slowly removes the porcelain from himself. This leaves his bare, burnt, and uncertain face into your view. You’re unsure of what to say at first, as your feelings are conflicted. However, you quickly decide to go with what your heart felt.

“You’re so handsome, Brahms…” You confess with a sheepish smile. He doesn’t respond, though, almost as if he’s debating what to say as well.

“Mm!” You moan through a sudden kiss he placed on your lips, making Brahms smile to himself in the kiss. He loved the way you reacted to his touch. He quickly realized you were feeling the same towards him, and that gave him the confidence to continue. You rapidly grew a certain heat in your pelvic area, but the feeling was still unfamiliar to you. Only on the rare occasion did you allow yourself the pleasure, but you felt guilty for it every time.

“Slut… whore… useless daughter…” Your parents’ past words radiate in your head, and a panic washes over your body. Brahms senses your inner conflict again, and stops once more.

“Y/n…?” He gently asks to see if you’re alright. Tears well up in your eyes as the guilt of disappointing your parents consumes you.

“I’m sorry, I just… my mom and dad would be so upset… I just feel so… lost…” You admit, and Brahms wipes your cheeks with his calloused hands.

“Mm, screw them…” He chuckles darkly.

“But…” You try to argue, but he shushes you instead.

“They’ve never been good to you, Y/n…” Brahms shares, and it confuses you at first. They’ve always given you food, shelter, and anything else a child would need.

“But they… they mean well…” You try to reason it out, but he still disagrees.

“I’ve been watching, listening to how they treat you your whole life, Y/n… the way they scream at you, gaslight you, disappoint you… that’s not love… that’s abuse…” Brahms whispers with a broken heart for you. The pain of realization hits you, but you try to muffle your cries with your hands over your mouth.

“I’m so sorry… I know how hard it is… but I… I want to love you… really love you…” He kisses the top of your head sweetly. His words fill your heart with hope that you might not be miserable the rest of your life.

“Really…? I mean, I would love that… but I don’t want to force you into anything…” You self doubt yourself.

“Absolutely. I mean, hell… why do you think I was doing all of this?” Brahms wonders, and you suppose he’s right.

“Yeah, true… I’m sorry, I just feel bad… but thank you, I’d love to… y’know…?” You admit with a shy grin, which he immediately returns.

“Good,” He smirks and kisses you again. This time, the kiss was much more desperate for the sweet result. Brahms shows no mercy for you this time as he begins biting your lips. Your little gasps invoke a strong sense of pride within him. He was making you feel this way, and he alone would make you feel good.

“Hm,” His deep voice rumbles in his chest. Your eyes flutter open and shut, unsure of how to go about this situation. Squirming around awkwardly, you then feel Brahms grab your waist as he lifts you up and onto the table.

“Ah! Brahms...?!” You yelp in surprise.

“Take off your shirt, Y/n.” He demands, already sliding his hands underneath. You timidly follow his instructions, removing your shirt and bra from your body. Brahms looks down from your face and onto your breasts. He adored them, so he ran his hands over them as he gave each nipple a cheeky pinch.

“Oh, Brahms…” Your eyes close in bliss, but he snaps your attention back to his eyes.

“Look at me,” He suggests sternly.

“O-okay…” You do as he wishes and stare deep into his icy eyes. He’s tender and gentle, but he still makes you feel so small next to him.

“You’re so pretty, Y/n… I’ve always loved you…” Brahms brushes a stray lock of hair out of your face, giving him a better view at your beauty.

“I have loved you for the longest time, too, Brahms… I just never knew how to tell you…” You try your best to express your feelings, but your past experience with doing so has never been easy for you. Each emotion you shared ended in an argument with your parents.

“I’m so glad… please…” Brahms pleads, leaning his forehead against yours. He didn’t have to finish for you to understand what he wanted.

“C’mere…” Your sudden burst of trust hits the two of you like a train. Brahms roughly attacks your neck with his lips and teeth, nipping at all your sensitive areas. Exploring each and every inch, he scopes out which areas you like best.

“Mm, Y/n…” He whimpers, rubbing his needy cock against your body. You had neglected it for far too long, and you wanted to give it some love too.

Lowering your hand down to his member, you stroke him through his pants. Pre-cum leaks from his tip and soaks through his underwear slightly. His moans fill your ears with sweet misery. The lack of being inside of you was killing him, but he wanted to take things slow for you.

“Ah, Y/n…! Please! I’ll be a good boy!” He begs you to allow him entrance, and you agree. Instantaneously, he pulls his clothes off and prepares his painfully hard cock to slide into you.

“Oh! You feel… so tight…!” He didn’t tell you, but this was his first time as well. The first feeling of being inside of someone, especially when that someone is you, was the best feeling he’s ever felt. He couldn’t help himself but pump in and out of you. He tried his best to go slow, but his selfish excitement got the better of him. However, you were far from upset by this.

“Ah! D-don’t… stop…!” You plead with him, and he obliges. Slapping his body into yours in a rhythmic motion causes you to quickly feel that coil in your stomach tighten around him.

“F-fuck…! You’re gonna make me…!” As quickly as it started, your love making ended. The two of you came together simultaneously, and everything felt perfect to you. However, Brahms felt a wave of guilt.

“I… I’m sorry… I wish I had lasted longer… and I shouldn’t have pressured you into this…” He goes on and on about all the things he could’ve done better, but you then stop him with a chaste peck on his lips.

“You were perfect. Thank you,” You lovingly look into his eyes. He searches for any sort of regret, but when he finds none he settles into your arms.

~~~

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