#if you believe me when I call myself a creator you don’t NEED to see my theoretical creations that may or may not exist

[carpisuns]

when I say im a creator you’re just gonna have to trust me on that

[loserboyfriendrjl]

marauders era unpopular opinions, once more

i really don’t like fanon regulus. i don’t like him being helpless and kind and a sirius variant. he’s morally grey, leaning towards morally dark, he’s selfish, he agreed to his parents’ and voldemort’s ideologies, having joined the death eaters most likely by his own will (unlike draco malfoy). but obviously, everyone is allowed to characterise characters the very way they want to

and while we’re on it, i don’t like evan and barty either, for the same reason. maybe i would, if they were realistically characterised (i LOVE reading morally grey or morally dark(er) characters), and once again, i believe that just because one likes a character, that doesn’t always mean that the character is a good person

and continuing on the same topic, the sunshine james potter, although being a topic that i like and delved deeper into myself, is nice, but i would also love to see more of arrogant, spoiled james potter, too

not liking severus snape and peter pettigrew but liking evan, barty and regulus is kind of hypocritical

i don’t like jegulus

i also don’t like the casanova, bad boy characterisation of remus, and the helpless, needy characterisation of sirius either. to me, they’re out of character, overly done and absolutely not enjoyable

and because i earlier mentioned severus snape, i think he’s an interesting character, actually. that doesn’t make him a good person (once again, i believe him to be morally grey, too) and i can’t call myself a lover of his, however i find his story and character very interesting and compelling

i don’t like a lot of the wolfstar dynamics in current fandom

“we need more content about the girls!” literally do it yourself. please. whenever i write content about the men, i get a wave of new followers, and whenever i post about the non-men, suddenly i have tebs of people unfollowing me. oh, and my posts about the men have twice or thrice the notes of the other ones

sirius > regulus

and speaking of which, sirius is such an interesting character, and he was reduced by many people to nothing, or whatever is relevant to the plot

james would pick sirius over regulus any time, with literally no hesitation

i don’t care about popular fics (read or don’t read, i generally don’t read popular fics to be honest), however i do care about the way creators, especially writers, are treated in this fandom. i made a few posts about this topic, feel free to ask me to link them to you, but the way some people feel entitled to fic and fandom content is horrible

“x is the female version of— !” please stop. i’m going to stop you right here.

stop tagging jegulus and wolfstar and other mlm ships with wlw and nmlnm tags, for god’s sake. you’re just clogging the tag, and if i came looking for a certain ship, that’s what i’m going to expect to find. besides, why would you tag jegulus with, say, pandalily, when jegulus is by far more popular?

jegulus < jily

[gaysindistress]

Связи (n.) connections - one

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

pairings: mob!bucky x reader

Summary: “Did you think you could hide from us? That’s adorable, little one. There’s no where on this planet where you could hide from the Shostakov Bratva and even if you did manage to evade us, the Barnes Bratva would find you. Your связи, your connections, will always come back to haunt you, Y/N.”

Warnings: cursing

Word count: 2.5k

series masterlist | gaysindistress masterlist

Taglist: @unaxv @identity2212

Dreykov. 

The only man who has ever gotten close to destroying my family. 

Ironic considering that he was the Sovietnik to my father but that was before he took it upon himself to ensure that my sisters and I wouldn’t be able to secure a familial line for the Shostakov Bratva. 

He believed that only blood could produce blood. In other words, since we were all adopted, we did not have true Shostakov blood and could not carry on the Shostakov bloodline. My father did away with that outdated rule the moment Natasha came into his life but Dreykov refused to let it go. 

Frankly I don’t remember anything from that night aside from a needle stabbing me in the neck and waking up in a hospital room. My father held my mother as she sobbed over the three of us all laying perfectly still in our beds. From what Alexei told me, I’m grateful I don’t remember being given an involuntary hysterectomy. If he hadn't already, I would’ve hunted Dreykov down myself and killed him for what he did to us. 

Shortly after the three of us were discharged, Alexei sent us along with our mother, Melina, to live in Russia. He claimed it was safer that way but I could see the doubt in his eyes as he lied through his teeth. I think we made it two months before there was an attack. A trio of masked men broke in at night and had grabbed Yelena and I before my father’s men got there. The one that grabbed me was shot as he carried me through the foyer but another quickly grabbed me and yet again I was drugged. I remember the muffled screams of Yelena as the third dragged her away from the banister but then nothing. 

I woke up in a small cabin filled to the brim with jars and bottles of various things. Some looked like herbs while others looked like body parts. The woman who was puttering around in the kitchen turned at the sound of me moving and I swore under my breath. Before me was the woman who ran the orphanage I’d lived in for 7 years before my parents adopted me. 

She explained that Natasha had arranged for me to live with her until I was of age. “For your own sake,” she’d said and I knew once again I was being lied to by the people I’d trusted the most. 

After I turned 17, I found the first US embassy I could and demanded they give me refuge. I made up some story but they all knew I was lying. Even though Alexei may not have been my birth father, I was always told I was a spitting image of him. Whether or not it was the looks or the personality, I’ll never know but the embassy staff immediately jumped on the chance to bring back Oksana Alexeyevna Shostakova-Vostokova. 

As I was loaded onto the plane, I asked that they call me Y/N instead. Oksana felt too close to home and I wanted…no needed a fresh start. Y/N had been a nickname Melina gave me and even though I might never see her again, I would always have her near with y/n. 

I was all but dropped in NYC with some falsified documents and $5,000 in cash as well as a promise to assist the government in any way I could. The military reached out to me while the FBI pounded on my door. NYPD cops tailed me everywhere and after 3 months of a shit waitressing job, I took up their offer. Within a matter of a few months, I was working as a personal assistant to the police captain of the 99th precinct. 

When I turned 21, I was sent to the academy and came back as a fully fledged police officer.   Thanks to the falsified documents, everyone knows me as Y/N Polastri and I’ve been able to forget about my life as Oksana Shostakova-Vostokova. My captain, Tony Stark, is aware of my past but only because I had called him one night when I first started, scared shitless because I thought I was being followed. I ended up spilling everything to him and begged him to keep it a secret. He, of course, honored that and from there, we grew closer. His husband, Steve, jokes that I’m the daughter they couldn’t have and even had us take family pictures together. At first Tony said it was ridiculous but he can’t say no to his husband and now his office is covered in various family portraits of us. 

Not a day goes by where I don’t think of my sisters or even my parents but I’ve tried looking for them. The only thing I’ve been able to find is an old Russian news article that claims several unnamed Shostakov Bratva members died in a house fire the night I was kidnapped. Aside from that, nothing. 

My father, however, hasn’t shied from the limelight. His name is plastered on every police board imaginable as one of the most wanted men in America. Tony does what he can to limit it at our precinct but it would draw attention if he completely got rid of any trace of Alexei. It wasn’t until two FBI agents, SSA Wanda Maximoff and SA Carol Danvers requested our help that I realized how much trouble he’s gotten into. 

SSA maximoff laid out her impressive file on him, spreading the papers across the entire conference table as she explained how he’s the largest arms dealer on the East Coast. 

“We’ve been able to connect him to not only the Barnes Bratva but also to the Widows,” she’d said while still admiring her work. 

I decided then to keep myself busy and do what I could to stay clear of the feds. 

I’d failed my own mission miserably but how is a person expected to avoid two people that have made it their mission to find me? A part of me wondered if they knew who I was but it became clear that they didn’t when SA Danvers began flirting with me. It was subtle at first, small smiles and touches which led to brief conversations and daily compliments. She reminded me of Morgan from Criminals Minds with special attention she paid me. It took maybe three months for her to wear me down enough that I finally said yes when she asked me out. 

Tony only ever asked once if I planned on telling Carol about my family and the answer was a resounding “no. They’re dead to me.”

My plan to move on and forget worked well for years. I was able to live the way I only thought possible in dreams. 

That is until I see a red envelope sitting on my desk. Everything around me starts to move in slow motion as I stare at the offending object so casually sitting among my things. The usually loud precinct drowns out to nothingness and the officers mill around become blurred streaks of blue. 

I approach my desk with caution and inspect the letter as much as I can without touching it. I already know who it’s from, I don’t need to look at the black wax seal or the symbol stamped into it. Taking a seat, I pick up the letter and hold it in my lap. The implications of it are swirling around my head. 

He knows. 

He knows who I’ve become, where I am, and I have no idea for how long. 

The letter feels disgusting and heavy in my hands. I have no idea what the contents are and I’m half tempted to throw it away without a second thought but I can’t. Not when he knows my cover and I need to know why. 

I peel it open and pull out the black invitation neatly tucked inside. It’s entirely in Russian and I struggle at first after choosing to never use my native tongue but one sentence is clear. 

“The Shostakov family regretfully announces the death of their daughter, Natasha Shostakova-Vostokova.”

The death of their daughter, Natasha Shostakova-Vostokova.

Death. 

Natasha. 

Natasha is dead. 

My sister is dead. 

And this is how my piece of shit father decides to tell me? 

A fucking letter on my work desk in the middle of a busy precinct after years of no contact? 

I keep reading. 

The next line is a date, time, and address. Her funeral is going to be held at the family’s estate three days from now on Friday. 

I wrinkle my nose, hoping to push away the tears that burn my eyes.

She’s gone. 

Nat is gone and the last thing I ever said to her was “fuck off”. Well it was the last thing I screamed at her the night Yelena and I were kidnapped. We’d gotten into a fight about stealing socks and being the rage filled kid I was, I screamed at her to leave me alone. When she didn’t, I screamed at her to “fuck off” and she did. I never raised my voice or cursed at her so I knew it would get her attention and it worked. I half expected her to knock on my door later to make up but there was only the sound of raining gunfire and Yelena’s screams. 

A light knock on my desk jolts me back to reality and I frantically look around before seeing Tony peering down at me. 

“You okay?” He murmurs, throwing a glance to the letter in my lap. I look between it and him before offering it up. 

He makes quick work of reading it and sharply inhales as he hands it back. 

“Go home,” he tells me, “pack a bag and go home to the cabin. I’ll have Steve meet you there, okay?”

I stare up at the man I’ve come to love as a father and consider his offer of safety. 

“No.”

He furrows his brows at me, “no?”

“No,” I say again, “I can’t leave. If he was able to send this to me, he’ll know about the cabin and have men waiting there. Besides, it'll look suspicious.”

Tony crosses his arms, “to who?”

I throw a loom to the redhead fed who’s walking in, “use your brain, captain.”

“She doesn’t know.”

“Doesn’t mean she’s not smart enough to figure it out. News will spread fast and I don’t want to connect the dots for her.”

He rolls his eyes and lets out a loud sigh, “Jesus Christ, Y/N. You need to stop being so paranoid.”

Carol drops herself onto my desk and saves me from having to listen to any more of his lectures about my paranoia.

“Everything okay over here?” She asks as she takes a sip of her coffee and hands me one too. 

“Just peachy,” Tony snarks and sends me a pointed look before walking away. He’s never really liked her but it’s gotten worse since we started dating. He claimed it was because he didn’t approve of office romances even though his own marriage had been the result of one. 

“What’s his problem?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” I lie and shove the letter into my bag. She makes a move to grab the envelope but I’m faster. 

She goes to ask another question, presumably about my jumpy attitude but I cut her off with a quick peck and tell her that I have a lot of work to do. She looks upset with me telling her to get lost although in a nicer way but leaves nonetheless. I want to feel bad, I do, I really do but I don’t. Nat is weighing too heavily on my mind to care if I’ve upset anyone, let alone Carol. 

Nat consumes my every thought. She becomes all that I can think about as I mindlessly finish paperwork and reports.

All that occupies my mind is nat. 

Nat. 

Nat. 

Nat. 

Nat. 

Nat. 

I should’ve known better than to show up to a Shostakov event in black. My father’s signature color is red and my eyes are burning from the way the color drips from every inch of his house. The flowers, the banners, the signs, even the gravel are all the same shade of vibrant red. It reminds me of a crayon with how bright and primary it is. 

The guests are all dressed in various styles of the same primary red but I’m the only one dressed in only black. I know I stick out for the moment but as soon as I step inside, I’ll blend into the surroundings. Even out of practice, I still remember how to merge into a crowd with ease. 

As I walk up the polished steps of my father’s home, I search for any familiar faces amongst the crowd but I see no one. For a brief second, I think I spot Yelena’s blonde hair but it’s gone when I look again. A man dressed in a simple black suit with a rose pinned to his lapel appears at my side, asking to take my coat. I nearly jump from his unexpected closeness but smile and hand it to him. He’s wearing an uncanny smile and it sends a shiver down my spine as he clutches my coat to his chest. I make a mental note to “forget” it when I leave out of concern he might do something to it. 

A loud call sounds before me and my eyes dart to the origins. The person who made the noise can’t be seen but I know who it is thanks to his booming voice. 

“Welcome,” my father’s voice ricochets off the barren walls, “my wife and I want to thank all of you for coming to celebrate the life of our daughter Natasha. Her death is a great tragedy for our family but we are Shostakovs! We are strong and resilient! We will avenge her and make her proud as she watches over us!”

Men cheer while women wipe their eyes and nod in agreement around me. My eyes threaten to roll right out of their sockets at their performative sadness. Russians aren’t known for their sensitivity and Bratvas are even worse. When Dreykov was murdered, albeit by my father’s hand, no one mourned. His daughter was whisked away to live with her mother in England but other than that, the world continued as it had before. 

My father has one thick arm wrapped around a dark haired woman and the other around a younger blonde. I squint to make out their families and I gasp when I recognize them as my mother and sister. Melina looks almost exactly as she had all those years ago and Yelena…. She looks like a completely different person. Granted it’s been almost a decade since I last saw her but there’s a fundamental change in her that I can’t describe. 

Her sharp eyes seem to find mine and they narrow before moving to survey the rest of the crowd. A hand brushes against my back and I snap my head to the side, getting ready to curse at whoever touched me. 

The hand shifts to my hip and pulls me subtly into their side but they don’t bother to look at me. Instead they lean down and a chilling air caresses me as I recognize their baritone voice. 

“Welcome home, Oksana.”

So much for going unnoticed.

[midwestmade29]

Wildcard🃏

Hangman's vignette on Collision was very inspiring 😂 Thus this story was born. I miss him and have my fingers crossed so tightly that he really is the wildcard for Dynamite this Wednesday 🤞🏻

Word count: 2.2k Divider by: @saradika-graphics *GIF is not mine. All credit goes to original creator.

Disclaimers: Cursing, unprotected sex. Read at your own discretion.

Written from Hangman's POV 🙂

Hangman's nerves are getting the best of him so he calls on you to help calm them...

It was the night before I would be making my return to AEW as the wildcard. These last few months have been difficult, mostly because I’ve had to learn to live without her.

I knew she would be in Chicago. I knew that despite all the hell I’ve put her through, she wouldn’t miss this big moment. My mind is racing, my anxiety is through the roof of this hotel. I’m pretty sure if I don’t stop pacing, I’m going to be greeting the guests below me soon after my feet burn a hole in this floor.

The whiskey wasn’t helping. Shit, I’ve used that one too many times as a way to numb anything and everything, I’m practically immune to it now. There was only one thing that would calm me down at this point. Only one person who quiets my thoughts and makes me feel whole. I had to see her.

I pulled out my phone and sent Y/N a text, hoping and praying that my gut was right, and she was in fact in Chicago.

•••

I need to see you. Are you here?

To anyone else, the message might be slightly vague, but I knew that she would understand. I sat the phone on the desk and pulled up the rolling chair, just staring at the screen. For 10 minutes, the damn thing only said “delivered.” She hadn’t read the message yet.

I sighed and walked towards the bathroom when my phone dinged and stopped me in my tracks. I damn near tripped over my boots on my way back to the desk in my hurry. My heart was hammering against my chest when I unlocked the screen and went to my texts.

•••

Yes. Marriott next to the arena. Room 3412.

I let out a shaky breath once I realized she was staying in this very hotel. I was on the 37th floor so we weren’t far apart. With my phone placed back in my pocket and my keycard in hand, I walked out of my room to the bank of elevators.

Some higher power had to be messing with me right now. Y/N is only 3 floors below me, but damn is this thing moving slowly. Not to mention the large group of people that got on and off every floor on the way down.

The doors slid open, and I stepped off, looking left and right trying to see which direction I needed to go. With a right then left turn, I was standing outside Y/N’s door.

When she opened it, I swore I saw an angel. She was just as beautiful as the last time I saw her almost 4 months ago. It hurt like hell and felt so good at the same time being in her presence again. I’m just thankful she even agreed to see me.

I entered her room without a word spoken between either of us. I looked around and only saw 1 bed along with 1 suitcase. She was alone. Thank God.

“I know you’re nervous, but the crowd is going to love you, Adam. They’ll be happy to have their cowboy back,” Y/N said softly.

She was leaning against the wall with her arms wrapped around her body, making me wish they were my arms around her instead. This woman knew me better than anyone, hell she knows me better than I know myself. She understands me. She accepts me. She’s always been my missing piece.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked with a nervous laugh. It was comforting and sometimes maddening that she could read me so well.

“Everything will go smoothly, and you’ll get back in the swing of things. You’re a natural. You just have to believe in yourself the way everyone else does Adam. You’ve got this. I know things aren’t ideal right now behind the scenes, but you’ll figure it out. Pick the path you want to go down and don’t look back,”

It felt like I was 20 pounds lighter hearing her words and knowing she still believes in me. I offered her my best smile while I took a moment to let her encouragement sink in. She shocked me when she walked over to me and placed her hand on my cheek. The familiar scent of her started to dance around my nose as I inhaled, it was intoxicating. It still lingered on her pillow in my bed at home.

Her fingers rubbed my beard, making me melt into her touch. Our eyes were on one another as we drank each other in.

“I’m glad the mustache is back to normal by the way. You look more like my-“ Y/N smiled before she stopped herself from saying whatever else she was going to say.

“I look more like your what, Y/N?”

Sadness flashed across her face, but she recovered quickly. She brushed a stray strand of hair away from my face while she answered me.

“My Adam. You look more like my Adam now,”

Y/N looked up at me, waiting for me to make the next move. I could tell she was afraid she had said too much, but she said everything I wanted, needed to hear. I leaned down and kissed her. I kissed her hard and I kissed her good. She tasted so fucking sweet as I slid my tongue in between her lips, savoring every second of this moment. God, I missed this. I missed her.

When I broke the kiss, her lips were already a little swollen. She tried to catch her breath as I kissed her jawline down to her neck, nipping and sucking until I found that sweet spot that made her come alive for me. My cock twitched in my jeans when she let out a breathy moan, letting me know I found my target.

I stole the moan right out of her mouth when I kissed her lips again, swallowing the sound whole and eating it up. Her fingers worked quickly to undo the buttons on my shirt, and when she slid it down my arms, the fire blazing in her eyes threatened to set the entire room on fire. Her fingertips traced along the lines of my chest, lightly grazing the scars that were scattered on the skin there before kissing them softly.

I tried my best to let her have the lead, at least for now but my resolve was fading the longer she looked at me with those lust blown eyes. Y/N unbuckled my belt, then the button and zipper before helping me shimmy my jeans down my legs and to the floor. She drug her nails gently up my thighs to my hips and up my chest, causing a shiver to run through me. She snaked her arms around my neck and splayed her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck.

I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her over to the bed. The feeling of her pressing against my hard cock through my underwear was so good and torturous at the same time. I needed her. I needed this. We needed each other.

I laid her down on the bed gently, my lips finding hers once more. She arched her back and lifted herself slightly as I pulled her shirt up to remove it, revealing her bare breast underneath. Y/N is perfect. She’s the epitome of all things good and beautiful.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen Y/N. Every inch of you is divine. I can never get enough of you,” I whispered as I made my way down her torso.

I made a trail with my lips and tongue until I reached the hem of her pants. I hooked my fingers underneath the band and tugged while she lifted her ass off the bed to let me pull them off. Her underwear was next and ended up in the pile on the floor with our other discarded clothes. Y/N watched me intently as I spread her legs wide and positioned myself in between them.

“I’ve tasted your lips, but now I want to taste the rest of you sweetheart. Let me pleasure you, take what you need from my mouth. I don’t plan on stopping until I hear you cum,”

The gasp she let out the second I dove in made me stiffen even more. My boxers were feeling tighter and tighter with each minute that passed.

Every swipe and flick of my tongue against her clit was bringing her closer and closer to her release. I licked and lapped around her while I pumped my fingers in and out of her. Her moans were sugary sweet and satisfying, I couldn’t help but groan against her sensitive bud. Y/N intertwined her fingers in my hair, lightly pulling and tugging while her hips bucked and pressed herself even more against my tongue.

I wrapped my arms around her thighs when she finally came, holding her in place as I licked and sucked her through her release. She squirmed and moaned as each tremor wracked her body. I placed a kiss on her inner thigh before sitting up and pulling her to me. Our centers collided, making us both blow out a rush of air as my cock slid around her wet folds.

I refrained from pushing myself all the way into her. I wanted to draw things out as long as I could before we couldn’t take it anymore. My mouth took in one of her nipples while my hand played with the other.  My teeth grazed the pink bud, my tongue following afterwards before I sucked it into my mouth and released it. I kissed my way over to her other stiff peak, taking it into my mouth to continue my teasing.

“A-Adam please. I want you; I need to feel all of you. Please,” Y/N’s plea was nothing more than a breathy murmur.

She was ready for me, and I was so ready for her. I reached between our bodies and lined myself up with her entrance, my breath catching in my throat as the head of my cock rested against the soft inner lining of her pussy. If I could bottle this feeling up, I would so I could enjoy it any time I wanted to.

My forearms supported most of my weight as I inched myself inside of her. Y/N felt incredible, so tight and so warm against me.  So wet and so perfect for me. Her walls stretched around me, eventually giving me full access and allowing me to be fully sheathed. I started moving against her slowly at first before increasing my speed.

Our bodies worked together in perfect harmony as we both chased euphoria. Y/N dug her nails into my back whenever I hit her sweet spot, her eyes fluttered closed when I leaned down and kissed her neck. We were both panting and sweaty and so completely lost in each other.

“Darlin, you’ve been so good for me. So, fucking good. I can feel how close you are. Let yourself go sweetheart,” I whispered against the shell of her ear.

Y/N pressed her heels into my ass, bringing us even closer together as I continued thrusting, much deeper now. I felt her flutter around my cock, and I knew she was done for. I watched as the most incredible woman I’ve ever known fell apart beneath me. Her lips parted and her sweet voice cried out my name. Her legs twitched and her cheeks flushed while her body absorbed every ounce of pleasure her orgasm brought.

I’ve never wanted time to stand still as badly as I do right now. Y/N completely blissed out and me seconds behind her. Both of us so fucking high off one another we may never come back down from it. My release detonated, wave after wave of satisfaction crashed against every part of me as I thrusted erratically. I grunted into Y/N’s chest as each rope of my cum filled her until I had nothing left.

It was minutes before I could bring myself to pull out of her. Part of it was because it just felt so damn good being inside of her, but the other part was because I wasn’t sure what would happen between us next. I couldn’t help but feel sentimental during this intimate moment, my thoughts and feelings threatened to drown me when they came flooding back into my mind.

Once I was lying on my back with Y/N resting her head on my chest, she worked her magic again. The warmth of her skin against mine mixed with the feeling of being completely sated, she put an end to my thoughts and worries. The noise in my head was now quiet. She did all this without even trying!

Not long after I pulled the covers over both of us, we fell into a peaceful sleep. I held her through most of the night before we repositioned, and our limbs ended up tangled together. There’s no way for me to ever thank her properly for all that she’s done for me and continues to do. I know I’ll spend the rest of forever trying my best to show her just how grateful I really am. Months ago I made the biggest mistake of my life letting her go. Tonight felt like a second chance, a fresh start. I had to do whatever I could to make her mine again.

[tetitous]

Everyone, I have done it.

So, the post about Yugo and queerness in Wakfu is a 3 parter due to my use and abuse of pictures. You'll be able to enjoy part 2 here, and dw I'll add one at the bottom too

First, I would like to preface this by saying that, while I do believe they didn’t create or write Yugo with the idea making him queer in mind, I do not think the creators made things unintentionally either. What I think they actually wanted to do with Yugo, was to have a character that felt as gender neutral as possible, in order to make him relatable to the show's originally young audience, without alienating girls or boys. A character not leaning too much one way or the other.

But as such Yugo is a character that can be read within a queer lens without that much of an effort. I know a lot of people on this site hc him as on the aro and/or ace spectrum, some degree of nonbinary and in my specific case as genderfluid bi/pan, and I'm even considering possibly intersex.

Wakfu also happens to be the kind of show that, whether intentionally or not, just finds itself to have a ton and a half of queerness in it: from simple implications to actually out queer characters, the world depicted in the show is a diverse one, in that sense and more.

That’s why I genuinely think that it's not just random readings that come from fandom's typical queering goggles, I think there are elements in the show that do help these readings, precise elements as well as elements that need a little more digging.

So here's what this post aims to do: to find those elements and compile them in as clear a way as possible. Please do take into account that I am very easily prone to reaching so if you don't see it, that's totally fine, and I may end up structuring things in very chaotic ways, but I am doing my best.

I decided to separate my writing between the gender elements and the sexuality elements, with a listing format. One element, one dash. Since I am french and don’t know much about the english translation, I’ll be illustrating everything using screenshots as reminders, and will be adding some small notes and quotes translated by myself when needed. Well then, let's get started!

The gender category, or as I'd like to call it "this could have been an email- but make it about a trans character":

Yugo's name: first, this one is 100% due to a fic I read that made me reflect on a very interesting fact: in s1ep1, when Alibert finds Grougal's message, Yugo's name is never mentioned.

During that scene, he’s only called “this child” and “that small one”

What that means, given that Yugo's name has been "Yugo" since previous lives, is that either Alibert somehow picked the right name on first try, or, more logically, that he didn't. That Yugo got called another name for some years, until he got old enough to correct them.

And you would think the argument stops there, but in s2ep12, a character gets openly deadnamed and mocked for it by literally everyone, saying "his real name is…". There is one exception to this,

Yugo, who never mocks him and says "It’s not because your parents named you… ", which is a very interesting nuance in phrasing. It implies that, while to others the name their parents chose is a "real" name, an immovable fact of life, to Yugo it is a choice made by others for them, that can be wrong, that can be changed.

Yugo's relationship with femininity (and masculinity): Have you ever noticed that the Brotherhood of the Tofu very frequently separate themselves with gendered terms? You’ll often hear Tristepin and Ruel call Amalia and Eva “the girls” and Eva and Amalia call them plus Yugo “the boys”. Prior to the OVAs Yugo only does so in one episode, s2ep21, the one episode where he's magically seduced into being aggressive towards "the girls".

“You are so strong and smart, right guys?”

“If you aren’t happy you can go with the girls!”

Prior to this, Yugo never really plays into gender roles, and after it will be mainly due to his aging process, which we will discuss.

Yugo seems to treat socially gendered activities as if they weren’t, I believe it is also noticeable with his relationship to heroism, though that one can only be inferred in contrast to Tristepin's former very strict hero/princess binary viewpoint.

(Here I would have put an exception about the OVA and him admitting he always wanted to save a princess, but given that in the most recent manga the term is used as a pet name for him I guess I’ll let that one slide)

During s1ep4, Yugo crossdresses and not only is he comfortable with that fact, not only is he the one who came up with the idea (although Amalia gave him an unconscious push), he is thriving in it.

Look at the joy on his face upon putting a bow on.

I feel the need to remind everyone Yugo is 12 during s1, an age at which young boys are definitely aware of a gender divide and typically reject girly stuff like the pest.

Back to the Boufbowl episode once more, in s1ep10, you may have noticed Ruel calling being a cheerleader “being the girls”, and while Yugo may be on the bench as a substitute, he does participate in cheerleading right in the next episode.

Two three very motivated children and their unconvinced chaperone.

Actually he is the only character in the Brotherhood of the Tofu to be a cheerleader during both Boufbowl arcs.

His outfits are also not strongly gendered, especially compared to Tristepin's chest-out s2 design or Eva and Amalia's early short skirts, his most gendered character design might be his adult-form one, and even then, when compared to Nora's, you’ll notice Yugo is only ever wearing the same thing as her with added details (royal details?) and his own color palette. My take is he’s actually meant to look like the Eliatrope goddess, with his cape reproducing her hair.

S4 teaser Yugo because we don’t have a clean pic of his s4 design, and I did my best for Nora.

Yugo's aging process as a metaphor for transness: as we all know, from the OVAs until the last quarter of s4, Yugo is a young adult trapped within a child's body. He gets mocked and infantilized on the regular, his status as king belittled. The only thing that he maintains some form of respect for is his status as a hero. And you can tell it is weighing him down. For one, this body is an obstacle to his relationship with Amalia, not just due to the eyes of others,

"I grow slowly whereas she, she became a queen, a woman...", with the implication "and I'm not a man” or “I don't pass as one"

but also due to his own degrading self-perception.

“Let’s see who’s small!”

(notice how easily he gets tickled by a simple comment on his size, how the mere notion of his body being revealed becomes reason enough for violence in s3ep7).

Yugo gets angry and violent, a lot, and more than is typically expected of him.

“I tried thinking like Yugo, I’m sure he would have preferred this to the hit-you-in-the-face method.”

“Dear little brother, I don’t know what happened to you these last few years, but I don’t recognize you anymore!”

A result of trauma, sure, but if you're like me you may have noticed how turning into an adult made him feel very… relaxed, suddenly. In a way that can be compared to the disappearance of symptoms of body dysphoria with people who go through a process of gender-affirming transition.

As an aside, his s3 design really makes him look like he's wearing a binder, in addition to the turtleneck that would hide the absence of an Adam's apple, the look is very transmasc.

That one particular art of him is what really marked me, because of the slight shade under the chest. Doesn’t mean it is a binder, just means it could look like one.

Yugo's Eliatrope hat as a metaphor: There may not seem like there is much to say, but the fact is that this hat was very mysterious for a very long time. If you were part of the fandom before the s2 finale you may have been theorizing on a forum about what was going on behind that hat (I was on the "a second pair of ears but these are shaped like cat ears" team, but still slightly unconvinced), and you knew that there wasn't anyone more curious about this than Nox.

“We may finally get to find out what you hide under your hat.

-Even my friends never forced me to tell them!”

was a very iconic line, one that definitely could remind people of the infamous "what's in your pants" question.

Well the Brotherhood was curious as well, but mostly respectful and patient with their friend.

It was clear that there was discomfort with that part of him that he refused to reveal, so much so that he probably never washed with any of his friends. When they would hang around for days, when the girls wouldn't care between each other (and neither would Eva and Pinpin between each other, wink wink), when they would all sleep together, Yugo probably would still never take it off in front of them.

Overall my point is just that inthe rare times the hat gets discussed, it just doesn't sound cis.

the Eliotropes: they're coming back in the sexuality section, dw.

But, as Yugo himself says, they are "versions" of himself. The interesting question now is "in which way?" Since they are not "past versions" of him, and since they seem to "inherit" some of his personality/physical traits, I do believe them to be an expression of his own fragmented sense of self. Some of them may be men, as a reflection of his own perception of himself as one, but then some may be women for that same reason, and well some are women, some even are canonically enby.

Character on the far left is enby and character on the far right is a woman. Obviously Echo is not an Eliotrope.

One could even go as far as considering these traits can physically express themselves only because Yugo's anatomy reflects them, and in that case we can go into not just a gender reading, but into an intersex one. Pushing further into it, Yugo, being their creator, effectively gave birth to them, and as such they call him father, but the act of giving birth itself is typically associated with the feminine, sowe could argue that Yugo’s position is both one of father and of mother.

Of course they also have physical and mental aspects that are separate from Yugo, like none of the ones we met are the same sandy blonde as Yugo is for example, but the ambiguity of the existence of the Eliotropes is and will always be a matter of "where does Yugo end and where do they begin?".

A little question mark for the road: In OVA2, as a joke, Rubilax “reveals” that Tristepin was actually a woman all along. This is a sample of everyone’s reaction:

1st, Amalia is so bi it’s insane, but that’s not my point here. Yugo’s reaction being of absolute shock, even more so than Tristepin himself always had me wondering what was going on in his head. Through a queer lens it remains just as hard to read through, so my personal take is that Yugo is amazed at how male-“passing” Pinpin is, so much so he may think “You mean to tell me I knew that guy for years and never realized he was trans too?!” I don’t know, I’d love to get some feedback on that one.

That first section was 2 pages-long without the pictures, so let’s take a tiny break and enjoy some Yugo cuteness as a breather.

Just the cutest. He doesn’t even need to try.

part 2

[anti-anti-vents]

Welcome to my blog! If you’re new to these debate, leave now and never return there are some things I’d like to define, since I find often times people mean many things when saying them.

What is shipping?

Shipping is the act of depicting, or wanting depictions of, two or more FICTIONAL characters in a relationship, that is romantic and/or sexual unless stated otherwise. The most common reason people would do this, and the one that comes to most peoples minds, is that the person thinks these characters would work out well together. However, there’s many more reasons than that to want to explore a dynamic, so it’s a misconception that that’s always the case. Please note, it’s not shipping when real people are involved instead of characters, that’s sexual harassment!*

What is a proshipper? What is an anti? What is an anti-anti?

In short, a proshipper is somebody who believes it’s okay to ship any characters for any reason. An anti is somebody who believes that shipping dynamics that would be toxic or immoral IRL is also not okay to do in fiction, and often go to length to let people know this opinion when they find a ship they deem to be inappropriate. And finally, an anti-anti is somebody who doesn’t necessarily believe that EVERY ship is morally neutral, but does believe you should never harass somebody over it regardless.

So, why are you an anti-anti?

Obviously, I don’t believe in harassing people, that should be a given. And I do find most ships morally neutral, but the main reason I don’t call myself a proshipper is that some do still leave a sour taste in my mouth (namely ships that “fix” a queer person, or turn an abuser into somebody super sweet; but feel free to RESPECTFULLY drop some reasoning into my askbox why those are okay if you want). However, I do recognize that it’s just fiction, and I can’t see into the minds of the people making it, so I’ll never truly know their reasonings.

What the hell got you into this discourse?

Well, if you can’t tell by my pfp, I love the game The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. (Spoilers ahead) But if you know anything about the game, you’ll know that the internet didn’t agree with me. They got mad over the CLEARLY PORTRAYED AS IMMORAL, completely optional outside a few implications, part of a demonic dream and not actually a real thing that happened, horror game incest. My goodness, you’d think they’d be mad at the actually romanticized cannibalism, or the many other pieces of media that include incest, but no. At the end of the day, this was just an excuse to doxx a trans woman until she left the internet. Because that’s who’s affected by this discourse. Not big media sensations and fiction that’s reached enough mainstream appeal to be genuinely normalizing things for the masses, but instead small indie creators and queer people. We need to do better.

Do you have a DNI?

Just don’t harass people, that’s all I ask. Regardless, this is a side blog, so I won’t be following back.

[brilliant-red-eternity]

Psycho-Pass Providence:

my attempt to write a movie review.

I finally went to the movies and watched Psycho-Pass Providence with a friend last Tuesday. I knew the film would be packed with plot and action so we decided to see the German dubbed version. We just wanted to have a good time, and some nachos with cheese dip and beer. The cinema was maybe a quarter full which I don’t think is too bad for a weekday. There even was a girl cosplaying as Akane. I was pretty nervous the whole day. After reading so many negative reviews on Tumblr over the past few months, I prepared myself for the worst. Will Providence ruin this series for me? Is Shinkane dead? My friend encouraged me by saying, “watch the movie and form your own opinion”, and that’s what I did!

Providence is a diffuse colossus of a story but I liked it much better than PP3. The story is very action-heavy and plot-driven. You can feel the absence of Urobuchi’s writing because relatively little emphasis is placed on the emotions of the characters or their development. The dialogues are rather short and the action scenes quite long. Explosions and battles largely replace social criticism. Precious moments are few and far between. I think Ubukata came up with a really cool and offbeat plot, it’s just way too big for one movie. He should have made Providence into a series with many episodes, but that’s just my opinion. I can’t shake the feeling that he simply placed the characters into his massive plot as if they were chess pieces. Everyone does their job. They rush from one action to the next. Saiga is dead. On it goes. Akira is dead. There are no breaks. The ending is also very rushed and if I hadn’t already known why Akane shoots chief Kasei, I probably would have left the cinema with a massive question mark.

The Shinkane content in Providence is quite nice. And to say it right away: yes, I saw their hands touch in that bridal carry scene. It was very clear and less rushed than I thought. I’m just not sure if their fingers were intertwined or if Kogami had his fingers around Akane’s hand squeezing it. The phone call was also funny. My friend just sighed in her seat next to me and said a little too loudly: “I can’t believe Akane is in love with this clumsy idiot! Why can’t he just apologize?” Yeah, why? Akane hung up the phone and her face was so adorable. The romantic comedy was only perfect when Saiga cheered Kogami on in the elevator afterwards (“Come on, make an effort!”) and Ko acted like a petulant child (“I don’t know what you mean!”). Really, Ko? You were playing dumb in front of sensei? Was Kogami embarrassed that his former teacher was interfering in their relationship? However, these two were in dire need of counselling that’s why I found the idea of Saiga acting as their therapist quite entertaining.

I still don’t know what to make of Shinkane in Providence. I have too many thoughts and feelings, that’s why I’d like to deal with this topic separately in another post. Shinkane is not dead at all, but it hasn’t evolved either. Each of them basically does their own thing when it comes to work and I can’t shake the impression that Akane would have found Kogami rather unsexy if she had met him for the first time in PPP. I love Kogami, but he doesn’t contribute much to the story except that he saves Akane’s life in the end.

Now that I’ve seen the film, it sounds more than absurd to claim that they have no other relationship than a collegial working relationship. I mean, it’s obviously not work or a shared conviction that ties them together and makes Akane answer the phone late at night, but their old acquaintance. They have an unresolved personal conflict between them, and a wide range of unexplored emotions. All the social awkwardness fits in with that. And the creators even went one step further with the romantic scenes:

I already knew about the scene in which Kogami jumps on top of Akane (and between her legs) to protect her from an explosion but I didn’t expect the whole thing to play out in slow motion. Holy shit! My heart leapt. I mean, what am I looking at here if not a romantic subplot? You can see every detail crisp and clear: how his hands are embracing and protecting her head from the impact, how their bodies stick together rather indecently. And Akane and Ko don’t immediately get up and run, no. They stay put for the time being looking at each other and then Ko states the obvious like a brain dead fool: “It’s a dangerous place, we should retreat.”

Yeah, well… who would have thought that explosions and shootings would be dangerous? Kogami’s blood must have gone from his brain to some other part of his body, there’s no other way to explain this level of silliness. We’ve already seen Kogami protecting Akane from an explosion before. He threw her like a sack of potatoes in the movie but THIS is something else entirely. THIS is screaming “You’re the most precious person on earth to me”. Same goes for the bridal carry. The scene isn’t as rushed as their encounter in the wheat field, no. The animators kind of savour their last scene in Providence and you have to be wilfully blind to not notice Kogami’s affection for Akane or their touching hands.

I can understand the widespread criticism of Kogami’s strange behaviour in PPP. It’s not quite what I expected either, but I didn’t expect anything else. Sounds crazy, huh? I know. I don’t know if Ubukata’s writing style is to blame for Ko’s derailment. I guess the writers deliberately wanted to create some tension in the form of personal conflict which is a common and cheap trick that can also be found in romantic YA literature.

It is nevertheless credible to a certain extend. Kogami has returned to a world with a wall between latent criminals and citizens with healthy Psycho-Passes. Social conventions are a corset. They make us act differently. The fact that he doesn’t hit on Akane actually says a lot of good things about his character. He knows nothing about her life, except that it hasn’t gone down the drain yet. What role does he still play in Akane’s life? Does she even need his help? When you look at Kogami’s issue with addressing Akane properly, it becomes clear that he’s uncertain: kanshikan, omae, anta, yo. Akane has already gathered a team around her and Kogami is standing outside the door. He’s the odd man out. He’s also an incorrigible idiot who doesn’t have it in him to apologize.

They give each other nothing at first. That’s why I like the scene in the hospital so much because it changes their relationship for good. Akane’s visit is proof to Kogami that he is important to her. She cares about his health and she even takes the cigarette from his mouth. Akane also invites him to join her team (“We’re a team, right?”) and you can see the relief on Kogami’s face. After that, their interactions become lighter and more honest. Team PSB and Team SAD no longer go separate ways.

I really like the camaraderie between Kogami and Frederika. I found them both very independent in their work, which led me to ask whether Frederika is his boss at all. I read somewhere that they both have the same rank of “special investigator” which also fits in well with the way they talk to each other. I remember Akane asking Kogami during their phone call what Yabuki thought of his past actions. I guess that makes Shogo Yabuki his boss and Frederika his senpai? There was one thing that annoyed me, though, and that was that Frederika did everything her boss Yabuki told her to do. She even kept it a secret from Kogami that they were using Saiga as bait. Why didn’t she say “no” for once?

Providence has a few highlights that I just can’t leave unmentioned. It isn’t the best film, but it’s also not as bad as many have made it out to be. The scene in which Gino grabs Kogami by the collar, calls him an asshole and pushes him roughly against the glass pane of the office was quite the cliché. It could have come straight from a fan fic. Kogami remains calm and I don’t find him arrogant. Sugo tries to intervene, but I had the impression that it’s primarily Akane’s staged indifference towards Kogami that keeps Gino from exploding with rage. Gino pulls himself together the moment he sees Akane entering the office. If there’s one thing I love about their dynamics, it’s how they always try to protect each other in the most subtle but effective way. Gino is like the big brother we all want to have. He is by Akane’s side after Saiga dies and he reminds Kogami of the duty to not let Akane become a latent criminal. I can’t say often enough how much I adore Ginoza and his loyalty to Akane.

But Gino does not only protect Akane, he also saves Frederika’s life twice. These two have a little scene in Providence that I find cute. Standing amidst the ruins of the building after the battle, Gino asks Frederika how she is. She says “not too bad” while stroking her hair almost sheepishly like a schoolgirl. Is it the first time that a colleague asks Frederika about her well-being? Is this how things are at the SAD? I never saw Kogami turn around to look at her, even though she always saves his stupid ass from getting kicked. And her boss Yabuki only ever entrusted her with the most dangerous missions (aka “dirty work in the name of justice”). It really sucks to be a strong woman sometimes. It sucks when performance is always expected without complaint. That’s why it’s all the more refreshing when a hot guy like Gino asks if you’re still alive, right Frederika?

Overall, it was very cool to see Frederika on the battlefield since she’s quite capable and knows how to handle weapons. I didn’t like her passive role in PP3, where she just sat in her neat little office and gave orders. PP is kind of understaffed in terms of female characters so it was good to see Frederika having a more active role this time. I hope that in the future they will give her a backstory. It’s more the personal things that make a character interesting for me. I mean, what was her relationship with Yabuki? She shed a tear after his death, or was this just an optical illusion?

There was nothing to complain about the quality of the animation in Providence. It was first class. The wedding was beautiful and I really liked the colours and fireworks of the Chinese New Year festival in the streets of Dejima. It made a nice contrast to the gloomy dark dystopian world of Sibyl. The Chinese New Year also brings me directly to the scene that, oddly enough, touched me the most: Akira’s death. Atsushi Shindou shoots him on the roof of the MoFA as the fireworks go off and with his last words Akira says, “Take care of Kei, I want him to have a different life than mine.” It was a beautiful but also very sad moment. There were many deaths in the film but the pace of the story was way too fast for me to mourn them properly. It’s a shame, especially since most of the time was spent on action scenes. I don’t know how many minutes I watched Sugo trying to shoot a satellite out of the sky with his drone.

Saiga’s death is tragic but it has great influence on Akane. In the end, his last words (“justice and truth are multifaceted”) encourage her to stand up for her convictions and turn against Sibyl in order to uphold the law. I noticed that Saiga is already very tired at the beginning of Providence, as if he no longer expects anything great from life and prefers to pass the baton to the younger generation. Perhaps that is also why he tries to persuade Kogami to bury the hatchet with Akane. “You should apologize to her. Take this advice from an old man like me.” It seems that he wanted to leave the world in peace, knowing that he has given his students all he could give. So from that point of view, his passing is dignified. His hands are even folded and placed on top of his chest after he dies. I couldn’t help but think that it is meant as a religious gesture: that he will be accepted by God if not by Sibyl.

Sibyl is as disgusting as ever and that’s all there is to say. Their hypocrisy is simply unbearable. And then no one has the courage to stand up for the preservation of the rule of law – least of all the Ministry of Justice. What a joke! We also learn that it’s totally fine for Sibyl to give absolution and sovereignty to a group of criminals (the Peacebreakers) as long as they come from their own criminal ranks. Well, one crow does not peck out another crow’s eye, right? I don’t know whether Atsushi Shindou could be trusted or not, although he has pulled some important strings in the background. The old man seemed weary just like Saiga, but he thought very highly of Akane and campaigned for her in front of Sibyl which made him likeable in my eyes. He was also a good mentor.

I must not forget to mention the true antagonists of the story, first and foremost Tonami the White. He is the leader of the Peacebreakers, a group of former soldiers and mercenaries of Sibyl who see themselves in the tradition of a cult. They worship a similar AI like Sibyl that also has wired brains in boxes and they see it as their God and commander. The cult did seem rather bizarre and fantastic sometimes, but I got the impression that this is exactly Ubukata’s style.

Tonami is a despicable man. He tells Akane that despite his old age, he can still take on a young girl like her, then he draws a gun and starts to shoot her. Congratulations, man! She’s unarmed, and pulling a trigger is really not much of a feat. Asshole! He was clearly afraid that Akane would be superior in a fistfight.

I remember a heated debate on social media about whether Kogami should have killed Tonami or not. Well, I would argue that he had no choice but to shoot this man if he wanted to make sure Akane got out of there alive (“Protect Tsunemori!”). Akane looks relieved when she sees Kogami. She smiles at him as if she knows that her life is safe from now on. But then she continues to provoke Tonami with her words. The man points a damn gun to her head and she has already been shot twice and lies bleeding on the floor in handcuffs. Should Kogami twiddle his thumbs and wait to see what happens? Well, he does. But only for a moment.

Kogami’s face is empty while Akane is being tortured. It’s devoid of emotion, not even anger shows on his face. I was like: huh? I first thought it was bad animation or some artificial intervention to evade romance and keep the Kouakas from losing their minds, but in retrospect, it occurred to me that perhaps… Kogami is simply listening to the conversation in front of him? Akane and Tonami are talking about the Sibyl System and it’s true nature. They are talking about AI vs. humanity. They are talking about integrating this other AI into Sibyl and the boxes with the brains are standing just a few meters away from them. Snippets and fragments, but Kogami isn’t stupid. It was him who found a decapitated professor Stronskaya on the ship. Her head was taken away by the Peacebreakers and we later learn that her brain was put into a box for their AI. Kogami has been wondering for a while what kind of influence Akane has on the system. And even Tonami (who calls her “a witch that disturbs the social order”) is kind of astounded at what Akane knows and what she is capable of.

Kogami agrees with Tonami and then shoots him in the head. I really don’t know which part he agrees with. I can only explain it by saying that, unlike Akane, Kogami has lost faith in humanity. Kogami knows what humans are capable of and that they are easily corrupted. But he believes in Akane, so there’s that. It’s only natural that he would save her at any cost.

I didn’t perceive Akane as angry though. She knows Kogami well enough and wanted him to come with her on the mission. Kogami “breaking the law again” certainly saddens and disappoints her, but I don’t think she necessarily wants to enforce him. Atsushi Shindou shot Akira in front of Akane and she didn’t arrest him. If she were now to arrest Kogami, she would have double standards. I remember director Shiotani saying in an interview that Kogami voluntarily let Akane arrest him. Well, that actually sounds quite logical to me because I honestly don’t see Akane taking the initiative. But Kogami acting like a repentant little puppy in front of Akane, the “goddess and bodhisattva” he expects to make the world a better place? Yes, I can very well imagine that – only that at this point she is just a bleeding human being in his arms.

Akane’s incident was… wow. I knew what she was up to beforehand, but I still found the whole thing quite mind-boggling. Where did Akane get the gun she shot chief Kasei with? Everyone was looking forward to her inauguration. Gino, Sugo, Shion and Yayoi… they were watching it on TV. What has my girl done?

I wouldn’t go so far as to blame Kogami. There is a trend right now to make him the scapegoat for everything that happens to Akane, but somehow that is not right and would completely undermine Akane’s independence. There is no guarantee that the arrest and prosecution of Tonami would have worked. Sibyl is not a reliable negotiating partner. I think Akane chose a more effective way by immediately involving the public and getting them to discuss the preservation of the law. At least, it worked. But why the letter to Kogami? It wasn’t a tit-for-tat response. I think Akane wanted to say goodbye. She didn’t know what would happen to her or whether they would see each other again. These two threw their lives away and stood up for their beliefs in justice. Was it brave or was it foolish? Who knows. But the closing of a circle was pretty well executed by the creators of the series in my opinion.

I still have no clue why Kogami was released from confinement. I can only speculate that MoFA has negotiated a deal. I also remember that his Psycho-Pass was encrypted in PP3 and no longer accessible via Sibyl’s dominator. There is a strong competition between the ministries and certainly no help can be expected from Sibyl. Mika had to literally beg chief Kasei to allow her to send out a rescue mission for Akane who was already classified as a traitor because she went to take on the Peacebreakers on her own. Why would they let Kogami go, the traitor who killed a criminal pardoned by Sibyl in order to rescue the traitor Akane? No. He was released at the behest of MoFA. It is therefore not surprising that Akane has arranged the transfer of Gino and Sugo to MoFA. Nothing bothers Sibyl more than loyal dogs and I’m certain that these two would have been thrown into the isolation facility the moment Akane lost her position as inspector.

Okay, I’ll stop rambling now. I’d like to end this post with a quote from the friend who went with me to the movies. We saw Psycho-Pass together five years ago and I was very curious to hear her opinion. We both agreed that Akane's performance in Providence is once again superb. She’s a queen. One of the best female characters of all time. What she said about Kogami may irritate some but I can only agree: “It wasn’t his most mature performance, but in the end he could be relied upon!”

Providence was fun. It was okay. It wasn’t Psycho-Pass at its best but at least, it answered the question that has been on my mind for almost four years: what did Akane do that landed her in prison?

[matoranhoroscope]

“The ocean is healing.”

That’s what she kept insisting.

I had met up with a group of Toa I had worked with in the past and Maa immediately recognized that I was not in as good condition as I had been.

Indeed, my armor was a heavily saturated brown, as opposed to the burnt orange it would turn after longer exposure to the Spherus Magna sun. My new role largely had me working in Matoran settlements around the Bara Magna region, giving me less time to be out in nature as I probably should be.

“I believe you,” I said, shuffling awkwardly across the beach. “But if the waves knock my mask askew, I’m done.” The sands of the beach was markedly different from the sands of the desert I call home. It’s missing that layer of rock beneath it that ties it back to its source. The beach’s sands are loose, ever shifting and more effort to navigate than I would have liked. As we approached, I struggled to envision how I would occupy my time bobbing around in the ocean. That’s when Maa revealed the extra mask she had been carrying.

“I brought a Kanohi Kaukau for us to share between the team! I thought it would be fun to see if we can see any integration between the sea beasts of Spherus Magna, and our Rahi!” Maa had been a Toa for a long time. So long so that I am still surprised to see that she has not made the transformation into Turaga every time I see them. One might mistake her for a Toa of Water, what with her fondness for the sea, but the gold bands on her Kanohi and armor denoted her as a Psionic Toa. She used her power judiciously to determine what was best for the mental state of her team, despite any outward facade. That had been me during the trip out here. She was right. I needed the time to heal.

The rest of the team took turns with the Kanohi, looking around the tides for interesting signs of life. I waded out into the ocean to join them, minding my step as to not disturb the ecosystem more than necessary. Something that took some getting used to on Spherus Magna was the abundance of small organisms. Most everything inside the old Matoran Universe was large. The bugs, the frogs, the crabs. The revelation that the creatures on this world underwent something called “evolution”, as opposed to being designed by a creator had been a difficult one for most of us, but it made them fascinating in a unique way.

“Jasui, why don’t you give it a try?” One of the other Toa insisted after taking a turn. “I know you’ll enjoy it.” Again, she was right. My dour demeanor could hide nothing from the team. I took a moment to admire the mask in my hands. The Kanohi Kaukau was a striking design with its visor and layered, curved top. The Agori say it has “style”. “Come on, what’s under the water is gonna be waaay more interesting than the mask, I promise!”

I let out a lighthearted laugh as I swapped my own Kanohi with the Kaukau. Other Toa have described feeling a sense of security in the water just from wearing it. Maybe it was my own fears, maybe it was the fact that I had never worn one before, but I felt no such thing. I stared at the water for a moment behind the mask’s visor, knowing consciously that I would be fine while submerged… I just had to convince myself.

Out of habit, I took a deep breath in, and curled down, wrapping my arms around my knees. If I felt so out of place, I should do as the stones of the ocean do and simply sink. The view was immediately captivating. Fish, smaller than any I had ever seen darted about. A flat creature, previously cloaked in the sand rocketed away from where I had landed. The feelings of wonder momentarily gave way to panic. I had not been breathing. On a conscious level, I knew I was wearing the Kanohi Kaukau but every instinct in my body told me not to open my mouth. I saw the shapes of the other Toa gathering around, peering below the surface at me. I closed my eyes, focused on the feeling of the sand underneath me, and took a breath in.

Relaxing was still not easy, but I was now past the hardest part. Breathing with the power of the mask, I began to explore the sandy floor with better focus. The small, Spherus Magna fish swam in tandem with a Ruki fish from our world. The larger fish seemed to serve as a leader, or maybe even a bodyguard. Perhaps the larger size and protodermic scales of the Ruki dissuade the predators that would hunt this fish. Perhaps the creativity of the Makuta was intentionally influenced by the Great Beings to recreate the beasts of their world. Could the smaller fish feel some sort of connection to the Ruki, or was it just convenience? It was known that the Matoran people were based on the inhabitants of Spherus Magna. How deep did our connection go?

I was getting lost in the moment. There would be time later to ponder the Great Beings. I had to admit though, the experience was rejuvenating. As the day went on, I did find myself genuinely enjoying my time at the beach. I began to realize why Maa felt that the ocean was healing. Here, there was no conflict. The crash of the waves had no malice and the creatures had no agenda. There was nothing to fix and no one to protect. Just time to be. My only duty here was to enjoy myself.

[nakedbibi333]

HEYY so this is a wake up call, WAKE UP EVERYONE THERE IS NO TIME TO WASTE NO TIME FOR DOUBTS JUST MANIFEST BABES, SIMPLY AFFIRM AND PERSIST AND LIVE IN THE END!!!! before stumbling upon loa i came across law of attraction first and i manifested a lot. Here are some of the things i remember:

1. desired college (twice)

2. desired grades (many times) (this one time i did so bad and i just knew i couldn’t fail because i’d have to repeat a year but nope i didn’t🧿)

3. desired phone (twice)

4. desired laptop

5. money when i was in need lol

6. desired situations (many times)

7. desired hair

8. desired gifts

9. parents make more $$$

10. resolved family fights through vetala’s family sub countless times

now i did all this by scripting, I LOVE SCRIPTING and whenever fear crept my mind i kicked that thought out and replaced it with what i wanted to happen. If only i knew about loa when i was younger cause my confidence then was unshakable but now as i grew older this word logic came up a lot but if there’s one thing i know in my heart and soul, even with doubt when push comes to shove i just close my eyes and repeat my affirmations over and over again when i’m on a time crunch like instantly when i want things to be in my favour i say i’m peace i’m love i’m the creator and the feeling i get as i affirm puts me in ease, because at that moment i know nothing should stress me out because it all works out and spoiler alert: it does, always. Now i have sabotaged myself a couple of times when i think against my desires and IT HAS ENDED UP HAPPENING so please know, thoughts are everything, always think positively. I have heard thoughts manifest into sickness and other shitty things. I have seen enough to know that loa is as real as you and i. but i’ll be honest i haven’t manifested my dream life yet and truth be told it’s because i’m lazy and want it to be “effortless” i just want it to be like a switch which is why i want to get into the void. I have tried multiple times and i have gotten so close but this one time i was so close i was floating but then my foot just twitched out of nowhere and i wasn’t floating anymore. Because i got there I KNOW THE VOID IS REAL, i know what i felt and it was all in place for me to get my “the” success story fr fr, people who meditate talk about this state all the time, and let’s be real, do you really think all these success stories you’re coming across are fake?? c’mon babes that’s just too much, you’re either a hater or you don’t believe in yourself, you’re scared (been there) orrrr you’re just too caught up with something called logic (i don’t blame you, i was there too) but this is as real as it gets guys, magic is real but you can’t see it daily, can you? many things are real even when you can’t see it and that’s the beauty of it. I could come up with more examples but no magic is my fav unseen thing to talk about so moving on. now i thought i would only type this when i would get my void success story and just log off. i’d just come back once in a while to see all the cool things people have been manifesting but i’m typing this here now because i don’t agree with scammy when it comes to the void, cause that was so much bs and also this another blogger who kept saying she’d go to the void but kept delaying it (i don’t blame her i just want people to wake up realise the only thing they need to manifest their dream life is their own self THAT IS ALL) you all deserve to live your desired lives, no drama babes. I AM CALLING MYSELF TF OUT HERE, GIRL STOP GOING TO SLEEP AND STOP THINKING ABOUT RANDOM PEOPLE WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO GET INTO THE VOID, THEY ARE NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU, YOU OWE YOURSELF YOUR DREAM LIFE, STOP SAYING TOMORROW IS THE DAY IT’S NOW, NOW!!!!!!! i don’t care how tired you are tonight, it’s a meditative state and you’re going in. THAT IS IT. YOUR LIFE CHANGES FOREVER AND IT IS NOTHING LESS THAN A DREAM. Whenever i come across a success story especially a void success story i get so happy because i know that���s going to be me soon and it’s well deserved. I have talked to someone who manifested her dream body in just 20 minutes by listening to slade’s shifting sub, just affirmed and meditated. That’s all. Please don’t complicate it. It’s so simple. Also, i don’t want to hear any void slander at all, i understand if it’s not your cup of tea but i want to experience it and if i have a desire, it’s meant to be fulfilled. PERIOD. I hope this gets to as many people as possible. I want to see all of y’all win!!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE MY FEED WITH JUST SUCCESS STORIES, no questions, no doubts, NADA!!!!!!! only congratulations and i’m so happy for you❤️‍🩹 GO GET IT!!!!!! because i don’t want to spill my real name and i don’t want to use emojis lol can i be ami🤭sending to 5 bloggers

So happy for you, Ami !!! <333

[genpact-kinfessions]

I know there is already an ask game going on, so Mod Lyney, feel free to delay this post until you think everyone has had a chance to answer the current one who wants to. That being said, I’d like to ask what everyone’s reactions were to their source character. Was it emotional? How did you first realize that you were kin?

I’d like to go first.

I had considered myself a Furina kin before plying through the Fontaine archon quest. I had her as a playable character, and had seen clips of the story all over the internet. It was spoiled for me, you see. So even though I have considered myself to be her for quite some time, it was only recently that I played through the story featuring her in full. At the time I am submitting this, it had been at most a couple of hours. I am still emotionally shaken even after the fact. There are just far too many parallels between me and her.

(I’ll basically be spoiling Fontaines story so if you haven’t played through then you have been warned :))

I had recently died my hair blue, and the hair dye had stained my white nail polish a sort of sky blue color in the days I started the Fontaine archon quest. It took me a couple days to get through it all. At first I was struck by how much the two of us were alike, the drama, the legal prowess, the feeling that we alone must shoulder the burden of our respective worlds. But as I started, I was hit with the weight of everything. The fear of losing the belief and trust of those around me was represented perfectly. I felt a stab of pain in my chest during Furina’s trail as the Fontainians called her an unworthy fraud. It’s one of the things I most fear—public humiliation. The desperation to prove my own worth, even at the risk of harming myself, just as Furina dipped her hand into the bowl of primordial seawater. The enduring panic and agony that hides just below the surface, endured by the glaring stage lights. Turn them off! Turn them off! At this point I was bawling my eyes out. I couldn’t read the diploide clearly and had to depend on the voice overs entirely. I struggled to fight the mekas. The realization that like Furina, I have been playing my role for far too long. I don’t know when it will end. I bury any sadness deep down. I am so so lonely. I lack the ability to be my true self to anyone, and I believe I am fully incapable of it. I don’t even know if I have a true self, but oh how I wish to share it with someone, someone who understands!

I needed to take a break so I went downstairs to eat a popsicle, where my mother places a tiara on my head. I had left it sitting on the table for months. It was a birthday present. I could feel her passing on the burden of sin to me. My parents where the ones who gave birth to me. Parents are the birth givers, the creators of humanity, the creators of sin. And the tiara also represented all the anguish and sorrow they couldn’t understand. I have always been to volatile and to sensitive. I have never been accurate enough or perfect enough at anything I have done. I am human, not a god. I am still wearing the tiara as I write this. I’m not sure if I can air it off.

And of course the game had the nerve to conclude by telling me thanks, and to live out my life happily as a human. I’m not sure I can do that, or that I even have it in me. I’m still playing my part. The 500 years are not up for me yet! But I do wish anyone else who kins Furina (or just anyone who reads this, including you, Mod Lyney) to be happy, to live life to the fullest. We don’t know when it will end. We are just fleeting specks of dust, and soon the flood comes for us all.

So anyways sorry for dumping this here but if anyone wants to answer the question I’d love to see your responses /gen

Playing my part as always,

🪼✨

Don't worry about delaying it, I have multiple running constantly 'cus I don't know when to end them /lh

[heymantakemycruiser]

A little explanation

TW: R4pe, abuse, p3dophilia, in3st

Okay so I know some people have probably gotten caught up in that you might have heard of a webtoon called “Boyfriends” and I’m SURE you’re probably seeing slander everywhere, and if you don’t already know, I’m sure you’re wondering why.

Well, this post is basically an explanation of the things Refrainbrow (I will be calling them Ray for this post)

Okay so the first thing wrong here is Ray back in 2013 (correct me if I’m wrong) said the n slur, which of course is not okay, but I he was a minor and when he got older, he claimed he didn’t know any better. I can believe this for the most part because we all do dumb shit when we’re kids, especially back in the pro ana Tumblr days. Nevertheless, it was still wrong. But if he had owned up to it and actually apologized, this wouldn’t be that big of a deal... but it gets worse.

He also drew p0rn of a BTS member when that member was 17, let alone the fact that he wasn’t comfortable with that sort of thing, so this is considered CP, even though Ray was also a child at the time, it’s still CP. Let alone an invasion of personal privacy.

And another thing is the character Nerd in the comic is a proshipper, which if you don’t know what that means, it’s someone who will ship illegal/abusive/unhealthy relationships, such as incest, statutory r4pe (underage sexual relationships), or normalizes abusive relationships. And supposedly, the Nerd character is a self-insert of the creator, Ray.

He also disrespects countries, such as posting something along the lines of saying “indonegy” which is really disrespectful, especially considering I don’t believe in anyway is he Indonesian.

The webtoon is extremely fetishizing towards LGBTQ+ and poly relationships, as reading a few of the comics myself... I can most certainly confirm. It gives off horny anime comic vibes, and all it does is sexualize gay men who are barely of age in college. There is no real plot other than they’re poly and they’re gay, which is okay of course, but this comic stereotypes MLM and poly relationships by making it seem like they constantly want to have sex with each other and adding things into it about poly relationships which I have read from people who have been in polys that those things aren’t really truthful, therefore creating a stereotype.

There has also been something about him disrespecting a religion, but unfortunately, I don’t know much about this.

So yes, I was bored and decided to write this out for everyone. If someone says they watch/support Boyfriends, it’s likely safe to say you don’t need to be around them or interact with them anymore.

[inkedkoi]

Bingo Card: Part One

Continuation of "Hold On To “What If”: Overanalyzing and Rewriting Sonic Prime" essay

[Once Again, spoilers for Sonic Prime, all media here belong to their respective creators.]

✨//🌻//✨

Long at last, I get to explain what the hell I had on my bingo card. For those who are unaware, after Prime released the teaser and trailer of S3, I went through them frame by frame and made a whole list of theories I wanted to post. But since I was traveling, I didn’t have the time to post them, so instead I made myself a bingo card when S3 was just around the corner. Here’s a post from Twitter as proof:

I’ll go through each row, explaining what I placed, and the meaning behind the label I put on the box. The text in BLUE represents my past self BEFORE S3 premiered (or in italics just in case) and the RED text represents my thoughts AFTER watching S3. Let's start with the first row:

Chilidogs

Pretty self-explanatory

Label: “X”: (absolutely) confirmed [pic from S3 EP7: ending]

Time Difference

Back in Season 1, they established that time affects differently between Shatterspaces and they kind of showed it in Season 2 when the Boscage gang and the Dread’s crew were surprised to see him, likely because they hadn’t seen him in a while. So, it wouldn’t be surprising if this gets brought up in Season 3.

Transcript:

Renegade: “A day? You’ve been gone weeks.” Sonic: “Time must move differently there.”

[S1 EP6]

Label: “N/A” — Oh, past Koi, they didn’t even mention it once.

Rusty Rose’s backstory

It would be great if we get her backstory since all we know from her is that she’s mechanically enhanced when she said it back in S1 EP1,

Transcript:

Rusty: “Survival required adaptation, as you will soon learn.”

[S1 EP1]

Not only that but it looks like she lost her ability to feel.

Transcript:

Sonic: “You can’t suddenly be this heartless.” Rusty: “Birdie would disagree.”

[S1 EP1]

As a cyborg, she was an assistant to the Council, a so-called “valuable asset” (until they abandoned her in S2). It could explain the contradiction of the Council not using Flickies for their bots but one had to be used for Rusty to live, and in turn, it could explain why she had to serve the Council, because she had a debt to repay.

Label: “—”: we didn’t get a flashback to why Rusty had to adapt to survive. But we did get a sort of implication from Rusty’s speech to another bot:

Transcript:

Rusty: “You don’t feel anything, but I do. And that’s what makes us different. My masters had me believe that Birdie gave me my inner strength and power. But I know now it was another lie. Told to keep me under their control. Symbolic of my oppression. But I don’t need this little bird for power. And this little bird needs to be free. The only thing I need is me!”

Very “I am… All of Me” speech, Rusty. Honestly, with this, we don’t need a flashback. With what she said, it can be determined that Rusty had to adapt in order to survive, likely being operated by the Council. Of course, as most of her body has changed, she must’ve lost her ability to feel, either by damage to her brain or being forced into the image of a robot. It came to another price: the Council wouldn’t simply let one of their “creations” go when the Rebellion is around. They used Birdie against her, as a threat, telling her that she needed Birdie in order to live. Rusty had a debt to pay. As the viewer, we could still have fun with it and theorize the rest,

What exactly happened to Rusty, as implied that she may have been in an accident? Did she work for the Chaos Council before she had to adapt? Did Birdie sacrifice herself to save Rusty?

I had my own little backstory for her, that Rusty used to be an assistant of the Council (Dr. Rose), highly intelligent and physically strong. But she cared too much, seeing how her home was destroyed by the Council. She had doubts but she couldn’t risk her safety. She befriended Birdie, could be one of the experiments the Council had or part of their “zoo”, but it reminded her of the past. Perhaps one day, she saw something she shouldn’t have. It was the last straw for her. After releasing Birdie and guiding the flicky through the vents to reach the computer room where she was at, Rose went to grab the files to assist the Rebellion. But when she tried to escape, she was caught by a security protocol, harming most of her body. The Council found her and the files, along with Birdie trying to defend her from them. To protect their Empire from downfall, they operated her with mechanical limbs, losing most of her memory. Once she was conscious, they lied to her: telling her that she was badly damaged but they were lucky that they could fix her up as she was their “most valuable asset”, and gave her a new name: Rusty. Birdie’s cries could be heard from the inside of her chest cavity. Confused and worried, she attempted to open her hatch to free Birdie, but they stopped her, telling her that it was Birdie’s sacrifice that saved Rusty’s life. Without the flicky, Rusty wouldn’t be able to live. Unable to see their true intentions, she decided to pay her debt, to be under their command, becoming colder and colder. It didn’t make it better that every time she saw her own reflection, she looked like any other badnik. Almost. Did she wish that deep down, she didn't have to be this way? Sometimes. And yet, she understood that it was necessary. Besides, the Council needed her, she should stay loyal. That was until they abandoned her in No Place, as their way of getting rid of her for good. What happens to her, from water to pirates, they don’t care. Nothing would damage their empire.

...Uh, I didn't mean to ramble. Anyway, I think the canon scene that we got is still just as powerful, even more so with the fight afterward. Rusty finishes off the bot with the hammer. Despite Rusty not being Amy, it was symbolic of Rusty breaking out of her chains and seeing her self-worth. After all, it’s what made her connect with Black Rose. Both Rusty and Birdie were finally free, that is beautiful.

To be continued...

Previous Part || Next Part || Masterpost

[daisychainsandbowties]

I'm sorry if my question made you feel that way, it wasn't my intention.

you know i never mind talking about why i find certain character dynamics compelling or interesting!!

and much is lost in translation when the anon sunglasses emoji comes into play but um, i think my feelings this time come from just having seen a… disheartening degree of negativity around what is a brand new thing, something we don’t have all the material for yet - and in any case a pairing between two characters i have love for individually and not simply through my shipping goggles (sexy as i know i look in those).

and there’s a reason i made a separate post instead of answering an anon - because i was just made aware of a feeling i’ve had forever about sapphic ships. i tell everybody how i didn’t believe avatrice would happen until they literally kissed in front of me (and yes, that’s very beatrice of me 😂). live slug reaction was me crying for an hour and yes that’s funny and YES, it makes me sad.

because it’s still so astonishing to me, and part of queer survival has (sadly) always been a matter of separating that hope from how i engage in things like shipping.

i’m very fascinated by shipping actually from a technical perspective! (i write at doctoral level about T4T and touch a great deal on this form of queer community, knowing that it helped me to survive when i should have been squashed by the machine that seeks to kill things like me before we get to be adults)

i don’t mind talking about why a ship just works for me; not many things can make me pick up my pen (if not for avatrice i wouldn’t be sharing my writing on here at all, and indeed i would be writing a lot less if not for the wonderful people who actually read it 🥰🥰) and so i usually have things galore to say about characters and why they work for me, but i like to discuss things in what i call “good faith” and that usually means that i don’t answer things that i feel i could respond to rudely or in a way that’s hurtful.

simply put it’s not what this is to me. um, not to drag out that Malatino quote again but i’m gonna because it’s everything

(Hil Malatino. “Future Fatigue.” Transgender Studies Quarterly, pp. 656.)

so, yeah! it’s all about witnessing, being with my friends not in a manner that precludes the acknowledgment of difficulty but one that is, at least, centred around love, seeing and being seen. i know it’s hard to express tone in that grey anon box, but in a sense it’s an old hurt to me; most of my work in fandom turning into justifying the fact of “making them kiss”. having to defend it like a position in chess, over and over again.

the reason i made a separate post was just to acknowledge to myself that i felt sad about it and weighted down by a lifetime of feeling invisible, having my hopes belittled and i suppose some of that hope (certainly as a teenager) being distilled into silly fandom ships but always having to say “this is a crack ship” or “lol i know the creators either hold me in contempt or simply don’t see my existence as important… but!”

it’s not your fault, and as always with humans we sometimes just encounter people at the moment something tips them over into an emotion we don’t deserve to be met with. that’s why i would never angrily answer an anon (certainty not one that, more than anything, i was struggling to read the tone of), because the issue is much bigger than me or one instance but it just made me think and then… feel sad about larger trends and how those trends made me feel so small when i was younger. so invisible.

i don’t want anyone to feel like it’s their fault because it’s not!! it’s the line we push and push and push in queer solidarity and yeah it can seem like these things (shipping) are inherently stupid and petty and unimportant but speaking for the kids who are alive because of it i don’t think that’s true. i agree with realism, and i think when it comes to canon we sadly still need to proceed with caution. more and more it seems like you can have your show, or you can have canon sapphic ships (this term - sapphic - used as always and forever in a trans-inclusive sense).

this is as usual a lengthy way of saying that (i hope) i went out of my way not to put this on anyone. it’s just a thing that makes me sad to reflect on as the flinching of a lifetime, so afraid to hold what i love and to talk about it because that hope is seen as pointless. but what’s the star wars rogue one quote again?

rebellions are built on hope 💖💖

[eoieopda]

blog info

⇢ how tf do i pronounce your username?

oy-OPE-da. it’s the romanized version of 어이없다, which is one of my favorite korean words. listen to hoshi scream it here.

⇢ why do you have a problem with minors and ageless blogs?

i discussed this here. as of summer 2023, i am no longer blocking ageless blogs and am instead ignoring their interactions unless and until i have some reason to believe they're an adult. see here for some ways that i (and other creators) approach this.

⇢ can i request to be tagged for new stories or new parts?

i don't do fic-specific tags (with the exception of force quit) because it's a massive hassle. instead, i have permanent taglists which include fics/chapters + drabbles:

multi (for all of the groups listed below)

bts

seventeen

stray kids

ateez

⇢ can i tag you in xyz?

i track #eoieopda archive (and also #eoieopdaarchive because some people use that instead). i don't like to be tagged outright in fics if:

i didn't sign up for a taglist or otherwise consent to be tagged

i didn't beta it or have anything to do with its creation, and/or

we don't know/talk to each other (because i can't vouch for whatever it is you've tagged me in — or you, personally — and don't want to be explicitly linked to it).

⇢ when is xyz being posted/updated?

when i have the brain juice and time and i want to 😌

⇢ why is xyz on hiatus/discontinued?

likely because i, icarus, have flown too close to the sun. sometimes, the idea part of my brain moves faster than the follow-through part; and i need to take a silly little break before i’m able to pick up a story. sometimes, i lose interest entirely and will then remove something from my masterlist + make it very clear that a series is discontinued.

personal

⇢ your real name was leaked — can i call you that?

it doesn't bother me if people use my govt. name when they talk to/about me! my whole tagging system uses my nickname (jade) because my actual name wasn't supposed to get out, so that's (primarily) how i'm going to refer to myself on here.

⇢ you said you were adopted —can you tell me xyz about this entire process, what you know of your birth parents, what you remember about korea, etc.?

no thanks! i know very little about the whole thing because i was literally 18 months old. i've also had experiences on here where users' entire communication with me has been to ask/talk about these things, which is icky at best and fetishistic at worst (whether or not it's intentional).

⇢ i’m not korean — can i call you unnie/noona/hyung?

i don’t have a problem with this, and i actually find it pretty cute. keep in mind that my opinion here isn’t universal amongst koreans; and i did not grow up in my own culture, so koreans that did are entitled to feel differently.

⇢ can i come into your inbox and ask very invasive questions about your personal life and/or spew racist garbage and/or erase your identity and/or tokenize you?

thanks for checking — absolutely not! playing stupid games will win you stupid prizes (aka being blocked and/or reported).

⇢ i’m confused by your pronouns — which should i use?

my gender identity is essentially the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ emoticon at this point, so i use both she/her and they/them. and by that, i mean: pls don’t stick to one or the other (exclusively she, exclusively they) because i am not exclusively either.

i’m comfy with almost all “gendered” terms (sis, bro, dude, girlie, sir, ma’am, gworl, etc.) because i think gender is fake, lol. i do not vibe with “queen”, though, and i don’t know why. #kingjade

⇢ is it cool if i pop into your ask box with random thoughts, memes, tiktoks, non-k-pop stuff, etc.?

hell yeah, brother! let’s be friends.

⇢ you talk so much and it’s clogging up my dash — what do?

check my tag index here and filter shit to your heart's content!

requests (read the rules here before submitting)

⇢ who will you write for?

bts, seventeen, stray kids, and ateez.

i don't write for han jisung, kim seungmin, yang jeongin, or choi jongho as a personal preference. i adore them, but i don't see them in a romantic and/or sexual light.

⇢ are there any requests you won’t take?

i’m open to trying most kinks, dynamics, and AUs, depending on what's being requested of me (and the weather, what i ate for breakfast, the lunar phase, etc.) i'm down with poly!member x reader; and member x reader x member (etc.) dynamics, but i don't currently write strictly member x member.

hard passes:

non-con

anything involving minors

harry potter AUs

⇢ did you get my request? are you done yet?

pleeeeaaaaaaaaseeeee don’t. i did get your request. i’m a full-time attorney with fibromyalgia & ADHD and therefore cannot make any promises that my brain and/or body and/or schedule will allow me to finish things quickly.

i don’t complete every request i receive! sometimes, the requests are too similar to what i’ve done already, they don’t spark anything for me, etc. i reserve the right to pick and choose what i spend my time on.

rev. 12/9/23

[jenconnellysshybellybutton]

Chapter 7: The Engine Eternal And Its Creator

Characters: Melanie Cavill, Alexandra Cavill, Andre Layton, Bess Till, Ruth Wardell, Josie Wellstead, Bennett Knox

Warnings: Fluff

The two woke up a few hours later, it was the afternoon now, in a few hours it would be the evening, Melanie took a shower and Alex was going to go to the engine room to check on the others, they were all very concerned about Melanie’s physical and mental health, even Josie, which was hard to believe since Mel practically murdered her...well she did kill her by filling up the room with the cold outside air and escaping her and leaving her to die. Josie knows Alex needs her mom, that’s really the only reason why she would care about the issues relating to Melanie. Out of concern if her mom needed anything she chose to ask just in case.

“You need anything in there?!”

“No, I’m fine, thanks for asking!”

“No problem!"

Alex put some clean clothes on the desk chair along with a brush and a hair tie and left a note saying all she did was go talk to the pirate gang and that she didn’t go anywhere.

***

Alex walked out of the bunk and into the engine to find Ben at the helm writing down some notes in a notebook, Josie was fiddling around with some wires at one of the light towers, Bess was reading a book while drinking a tiny bottle of alcohol, Alex guessed she just found lying around, Layton was walking towards Alex holding what looked like a bowl of oatmeal.

“So” he started “what’s going on with her and you?” they both sat down at the chairs

“She’s...recovering, more in a grieving way but yeah she’s doing better, I’m still not sure though, it’s only been like 2 days so that’s barely any time for her wounds to heal”

“Oh yeah I was going to ask about that, is it like a burn or-”

Alex cut him off “It might’ve appeared like that but no there are two pretty big stab wounds not really, let’s just call them that for now”

Andre had a puzzled look on his face.

“Okay so imagine two spears stabbing you but it did not impale you” Alex raised her eyebrows

“Okay I get it-” he nodded

“Yeah, besides that mentally pretty bad, physically not the best ethier okay pretty bad” she gave him a sarcastic smile

“Has she had any food? I’m assuming she has” he took another bite of oatmeal

“Yes, she made breakfast a few hours ago, she’s a good cook and that makes me half-supprised for whatever reason”

“How come?” he questioned

“Well for one thing I don’t remember at all her making me a meal in my childhood ever, another thing, she’s so” Alex impersonates “ ‘me going to crush the con man taking all my credit!’ and ‘let me go cry myself to sleep’ at the same time…..she’s a difficult person to understand but that’s the beauty of it, one of these days I’ll figure it out. What do you have everyone doing? Whatever they want?”

“Well no, as you can see Ben is doing his normal thing, Till is…” he looks over at her and she’s asleep on the ground again “-doing her own thing and Josie is trying to repair some of the internals for the outside paneling...okay so I guess everyone is doing their own thing but everything is aye okay” Andre chuckled.

“Well thanks for the update, I’m going to see how she’s doing” Alex smiled at him and got up, walking to the door she realized manners still existed

“Melanie, can I come in? It’s me, Alex”

“Yeah come on in!”

Melanie finished putting her hair in a bun after putting on the black T-shirt Alex left on the chair.

“Hey hon”

“Hi, how was your shower?”

“Nice, it always wakes you up, especially when it’s either freezing cold or steaming hot”

Alex walks over to the desk to see what Mel was reading earlier, it was just some records for updates for some boards in the light tower.

“So is it okay for you to head out of your cave now?”

“I wouldn’t call it a cave, more like an I get to spend time with my daughter area but that works too, yeah I’ll have to say something to Josie, or I should just say nothing at all”

“What happened between you two anyway?”

“I froze her to death out of self-defense, I’m not going to elaborate but let’s say I did intend to hurt her only because I had to, to keep ‘order’ like ‘him’”

“Wow” Alex snuck behind her to give her mom another hug out of real kindness “come on, it’s time”

***

Melanie was the first one out, Alex came second, they headed to the front to see the others, Melanie ran her fingers against the walls of her creation admiring it, Alex watched in awe thinking on how much the train meant to her, it felt like it had been forever since she saw any of them. Till was the first one to notice her.

“Melanie? You look like shit, how’s the parenting going?”

“Very mature of you, you too” Mel ignored the parenting question “How are you and Jinju doing?

“We broke up right after the revolution, I don’t even know if she’s still alive”

“I’m sorry to hear that, I hope she is alright, do you mind if I have some?” Melanie pointed to the flask Bess had on the table

“Go for it” and she handed it to Melanie, Alex was looking at some graphs and she left her alone for not even five minutes and Mel was already about to consume alcohol.

“Mom no” Alex swiped it out of her hand “this will only make your healing more painful and miserable, trust me” she gave it back to Till.

“Your kid’s smart, she’s right, it will make it more miserable, plus this isn’t the greatest shit anyways”

“Come on ma” Alex pushed her towards the helm where Ben was sitting, he just turned the train on auto-pilot ‘How convenient’ she thought.

“Get up Ben, go eat some ice cream or something” Mel smirked

“Yes boss, I don’t think we have any- hey! ” He laughed as he got up to go look at the weather screen

“Where’s Javi by any chance?” Meanie questioned

Alex answered that hesitantly “Jupiter got ordered- I’m sorry, but I do think he’s alive” Alex looked down at her feet. Melanie’s expression changed from happy to a murderous rage burning up inside her.

“Then we know who else to get when we get back...anyone else I should know about?”

“That’s all I know for sure but I don’t think Ruth is getting treated the best over there too”

Melanie was now not the happiest camper knowing that her two closest friends were probably being treated like slaves or worse.

“Are the boards in good condition?” Mel asked directing it towards Ben

“Um yeah they’re fine, also we are having more bad weather so that’s just a fyi” he quickly answered also knowing she was in her murder attitude again.

“Well let’s get her rolling at a steady speed and let’s do this thing and hopefully not die in doing so”

“Yes boss” he walked away

“Well Head Engineer Cavill, on your orders” Alex put a hand on her right shoulder smiling down at her. Melanie pulled a soft smile and reached for her hand to hold it, Alex now knew that holding her in some way was the key to her heart.

“How about now?” Alex nodded in response

“Alright let’s fire up the boosters!”

[bythenineshards]

Stans defend Author Lady harder than she defends herself LMAAOOO the woman puts herself every time she speaks and they don’t even stop to think about how stupid they made themselves look they just accept what she says and act like they never believed anything else in the first place 😂 like tell me they’re a cult without telling me they’re a cult

What gets me is the way they back pedal. Like the situation today. They said someone should be "put down immediately" for their opinion on something that was pretty cut and dry. Feyre altered her DNA from a White Girl to an Illyrian. The wings alone would've been cultural appropriation. But she clearly shifted into an Illyrian form. That's pretty obvious.

But their response?

I can't say that's racist cuz I'm white. Yeah, so? I didn't know you had to be poc to recognize when something's racist and call it out for being wrong.

They also backpedaled and said that they meant the blog should be taken down, not that the person should be k*lled. Like... how fucking stupid do you think I am? You're delusional if you think anyone believes that shit. You threatened the person with violence and now you're trying to play the victim. No one believes you. Like in all my 30 years (and that of my husband's 30 years) have I heard someone say "needs to be put down" for that. That's a phrase when something gets k*lled. You know it. We see you. You ain't foolin' anyone honey.

And they make these wild assumptions to try and discredit valid points. Like the person thinks Feyre did blackface because person doesn't like that Feyre ended up with Rhys. How the fuck does that connect? Or that I think Nesta shouldn't be punished for her deeds because I think Rhys is a pathetic man-child for challenging Nesta to fight him at her intervention. Or that he's an ungrateful piece of shit for verbally beating Tamlin down after Tamlin gave him back his life so that Feyre would be happy. This makes me an Abuse Apologist.

Another funny thing about it is that they think I'm mad at Canon for dumb reasons and want to replace it with my own. Noooooo honey. Lol the positive reaction to my ideas and Maas' laziness means I can write them for myself and kick her books off their pedestal.

You're right. They look like they're in a cult, and talking to them is useless. Our only hope is that they grow up and learn to respect others' opinions. And if they can't handle discussion of alternate universes and theories, then they should leave Fandom spaces all together or block the stuff they don't want to see. I feel bad that this is the creator they defend so vehemently. There's so many creators that actually care and interact with their fanbase.

Fun fact: the person today blocked me when I first started posting. They unblocked me to harass me and then act like they're so awesome. Like honey... if you're that bored, read a book, play games, or talk to your friends. Just woke up today and chose the dumbest form of violence.