#if you’re blatantly going to play in my face offering me way less than half what the shirt is worth; i am going to block you

[fingertipsmp3]

I love starting to do something and just, immediately realising I have neither the patience nor the communication skills for it lol

[squishneedsahero]

Maybe It Isn’t all Bad

Awesomest of Them All 2.0

Part 2 of 13

Word Count: 1714

Batman x Batmom!Reader

You know what the bat family needs? Someone to pull them together and give them all the love they deserve. Who better to do that than you? An author rising to stardom in Gotham who catches the eye of a billionaire with your standoffish attitude at a huge social gathering. You are yourself and never pretend to be more or less than that. Plus you're the most stubborn person in the world, refusing to let good things go without reason.

This is a rewrite of my story Awesomest of Them All, I wanted to see how much I've improved over 3 years.

It had been two months since you published your book, and it had taken off. Tons of people loved it and even more had read it. Because of this you were suddenly a popular public figure of Gotham, and of course like all other public figures you were invited to one of the many galas that happen in this city. You hated it. You, y/n l/n the nobody who lived in a shabby apartment and just happened to get lucky with your book. What you wouldn't give to go back to being a nobody so you could spend your Friday night watching Netflix alone on your couch.

Unfortunately you weren't sure how the snobby rich people,who thought they were better than everyone else, would take you rejecting their invitation the first of probably many. But this was a charity gala hosted by Bruce Wayne: play boy, billionaire, and one of the few people present that seems somewhat genuine even if you didn't think he had a single thought behind his eyes. So maybe it wasn't all bad cause all the rich people were donating to charity and Bruce usually made sure the money went somewhere good.

You had worn an elegant gown, preferring it to the ones that let your ass hang out the bottom. The dress was fabulously elegant and made you feel like a queen. You had paired it with your your highest high heels, stilettos that you could stab someone with if it came down to it. So far the night had been filled with pointless conversations and lots and lots of introductions, all while dancing a waltz.

Lets be honest you won't remember most of the new people you had met, you could've met the Queen of England and not have known it. You didn't remember not because you had been drinking, even if you had thought about it many times, but because there were so many people that wanted to get you and your new found popularity under their thumb and gain through you.

You had finally gotten a break by standing by the buffet table and eating the food they seemed to be letting go to waste. If nothing else you would singlehandedly make sure the food didn't get wasted. You kept trying to think of an excuse to go home, but so far couldn't think of anything. Your planning was interrupted when yet another person came up to you, except his face is somewhat familiar. "Hi," you say after you hurriedly swallow a bite of food.

"Hello, Miss (y/n) (l/n)," he begins, knowing your name but you not knowing his, "may I have this dance?" He asks, great another dance luckily you were used to being on your feet thanks to waitressing otherwise you'd be worried about them falling off with all this meaningless dancing. Why couldn't rich people be more fun with their dancing, most of them were white, playing some pop songs, and the Cupid Shuffle could only make things better.

"Yes, Mister..." you pause as you try to place him, you know you know him but you'd seen so many faces like that tonight that it was a blur.

"Wayne," He finishes for you.

"I'd love to dance with you Mr.Wayne," you lie through that smile that was plastered to your face. You offer your hand and wish desperately you had taken your chance to escape when you'd had it only moments before.

He takes the hand you offer to him and leads you out to the dance floor, waltzing yet again, at least you didn't have to lead cause you had no idea what you were doing. "My son read your book," he begins, trying to start up a friendly conversation, "he's keeps trying to convince me to read it."

"That's nice," you respond awkwardly, what were you supposed to do? Try to convince him to read it too? Hell no, you are not going to act like an airhead and promote yourself.

"He doesn't know that I've already read it," Bruce says. You laugh before you can stop yourself, you almost apologize but he laughs as well. "I enjoyed reading it, it was very well written." Maybe he did actually have real thoughts in his head unlike how the media portrayed him.

"Thank you," you say a slight blush making is way onto your cheeks. He was quite attractive after all and here he was complimenting you. The smile on your lips becomes more genuine as the two of you continue dancing, making light conversation, and surprisingly it was quite enjoyable.

Before you know it the party is over. And you'd spent almost half of it dancing with one man. "Thank you for the dance."

"It was my pleasure," he says, and you find yourself blushing for the millionth time that night. Maybe these parties weren't all bad, you'd found a friend you could have intelligent conversations with after all.

You find yourself invited to almost every gala that happens in the city over the next few months and every time Bruce is there the two of you spend most of the time dancing and talking with each other. The conversations between the two of you are pleasant, covering many topics, and most importantly they aren't meaningless like all the other conversations you were forced into at galas.

Bruce would get your opinion on things such as how the money he got for charity should be spent since you had been more recently living among the people he was trying to help. Like you weren't bad off by any means but you hadn't owned a car, relying on bus routes to get around the city and working 40+ hours a week to keep your head above water. You had been better off than many in Gotham but you had been closer to the poverty than Bruce had, even considering his night job. The fact that he genuinely cared and wanted your opinion amazed you. He was the first and probably only friend you made among the one percent at those parties.

Of course the two of you didn't only talk business, other more casual subjects came up. The two of you bonding over having dead parents, even if he was more traumatized and your wounds more recent. Then talking about school and how you had decided to skip college in order to pursue writing while he had been homeschooled then traveled the world instead of college, not that either of you were too old for college though. He was was 23-24, still young despite having adopted an 8 almost 9 year old and you were close to the same age as him.

The both of you being young, and single, did lead the two of you to have more than a friendship but that was after nearly a year of just talking at galas. Okay a year of just talking was a lie. It was probably only six months before the two of you found yourselves out in a garden and shared your first kiss. But it was an entire year before he finally asked you out, claiming it was a dare from Dick and to ease the pressure of the press.

You of course called him on those lies and pointed out the fact that there had not been a single other woman in his life since the two of you met. And said the only way you'd go out with him was if he'd, "just admit you like me." Needless to say he did.

That was part of the reason that he was so attracted to you. Despite what he knew about you from the one day he saved you from Joker, you were just unafraid to be yourself. You had never pretended or tried to pretend to fit in at the galas. You'd never been afraid to call him on his shit, even if it had risked your one friendship that made those galas bearable.

To your surprise when you had called him a dumbass for thinking it was acceptable to give a 9 year old unlimited access to the internet he laughed and said you were probably right. Then for some reason he thought it was a good idea to ask you for parenting advice and you told him that was a worse idea. You had less of an idea how to be a parent than he did, the only reason a 9 year old shouldn't have unlimited internet access was because he was a bit young to already get unrealistic expectations from porn. Mainly you had no idea, it just felt weird to turn a kid loose on the internet but then again you'd been a kid who ate mud and called it fun.

So, all the talking and asking opinions and just spending a ton of time together leads to Bruce asking you out. The press saw this coming from miles away and caught you both on your date, not that they didn't have pictures of the two of you hiding from people on a balcony. But an actual date?!? Amazing! All the internet fans were happy for you, the paparazzi loved you and would do anything to get pictures of the two of you.

The two of you became Gotham's it couple overnight but the best thing about it was that it was real. Both of you were blatantly honest, calling each other out when needed and defending each other at other moments. There were no secrets between the both of you and you wouldn't trade that for anything. It was amazing to you that you had finally found a man who saw you as his equal and if anything he was a man known for being a womanizer.

So that's how it all started, in the space of a year the two of you fell in love and were head over heels for each other. Dick played match maker every chance he got, since he adored you for some odd reason. And of course, when you finally met him Alfred approved of you and Bruce being together, the one person able to call him on his shit and have him listen. It was a miracle that Alfred had thought he'd never love to see.

[rrasado]

Yo! If that's okay could i request the brothers (or some of the of your choice) reacting to a teen mc who already has a pact with a demon long before coming to the Devildom and this demon is pretty much their (very protective) guardian/caretaker? Like, the demon is really sweet and gentle with MC and babies them constantly but they're wary of the brothers (Nothing romantic, just platonic hcs!) Feel free to ignore if i'm bothering you!

Congrats on the 400 followers!!💞

Who’s The Guardian?

On another episode of “why didn’t I see this in my inbox before-“ but this is such a cute request.

I...haven’t played OMSWD in half a year ;-;. I never got past lesson 40 so, sorry in advanced for the OOC-

When you already have a pact

Lucifer

...is caught off guard, big time.

He probably skimmed through your files and records but not once did the thought of a seemingly innocent teenager already having a pact with a demon prior the exchange program crossed his mind.

That’s coming from someone who overthinks a lot.

As the so called right hand man of the young lord himself, he’ll want to conduct a thorough investigation on whoever this demon is. He can’t risk sullying the honor of Diavolo because of some minor slip up.

Under the guise of a friendly get together he asks MC to invite their demon pact mate over for a nice afternoon tea. Harmless correct? Well that -less becomes -ful when the demon immediate smothers their favorite human with such rare affections he didn’t knew demons were capable of.

He’ll attempt to be discreet about his intentions but, it seems the demon is more vocal about their displeasure of finding out that their dear human is living with seven of the most powerful demons in hell. So lucifer would blatantly put on a facade to keep the dignity of the council and the prince at peace. But if it were up to him...

“We all care for the human’s well being yes? A little cooperation is to be called for”

Mammon

...Feels betrayed. And disappointed

He...wasn’t MC’s first- oh god the others are laughing at him as we speak aren’t they.

Would probably try to not so discreetly compare himself to the demon, arms crossed™️

Is that why MC was so fast in making a pact with him? Like no fear whatsoever because they’ve already done this before? Now he feels dumber than before

It all ultimately ends with..the demon and mammon trying to out do each other when it comes to spoiling Mc whether material wise or affection, of course mammon is at a disadvantage given how much he denies his concern for not being Mc’s first.

But in the end, if anything bad no matter how small happens to the two demon’s beloved human, they’d probably set aside their differences and hunt down the source. It’s a whole other story if the source was mammon-

“Oi the human also has a pact with me Ya got that!”

Leviathan

...is both amazed and disdained.

On one hand- HOLY SHI- YOU’RE YOUNGER THAN MOST SUMMONERS AND YOU ALREADY HAVE A PACT? THAT’S SO SHOUNEN-

And on the other hand- wow...you’re such a normie for being able to pull in other races, what in the name of damned friendship is this-

But that disdain turns to envy, whether envying you or the demon sometimes it’s interchangeable- because he wished he was also that cared for. Being able to be brought gifts or being protective over- it’s the otome dream he’s secretly wanted.

But once he realizes that the demon just genuinely cares for MC, for whatever reason- he seems to understand along the way, maybe he to wishes to protect one of the few people that willingly put up with him with a wild smile. Teen mutuality huh.

He might even invite their demon pact mate over for a game or two- heck if things go well they three might even become a triumvirate. Overall he’ll learn to get along with them but...it’ll take a good while djdndnbd.

“H-hey...ya sure you wanna hang out with someone as yucky as me? Ah- wait I have games for three here somewhere.”

Satan

...Is highly intrigued suffice it to say.

The guy was highly enthralled when you managed to even make a pact with him through hard work and it seems there was a much farther history as to why.

Unlike the first born however, he’d be actually successful in hiding his true intentions when he decided to investigate whoever demon managed to wind up with the young human in the first place.

Those detective novels did him good Huh-

On a more serious note. He’d actually be encouraging to a certain extent until the demon directs their threats to him. Like how dare this lowly bastard make a point to the Avatar sin of Wrath- oh it was for MC’s sake...hard pass-

At one point he’s probably the closest to this demon in terms of peace next to Beelzebub since he’s the most serene of the brothers. Overall neutral to them unless the demon gives him a reason to.

“It’s nice to see the human having someone to lean on to...I wonder what would happen if that support were to suddenly collapse”

Asmodeus

...is sappy to the brim

Look at the lovely human already catching demons with finesse! Proud wine aunt moment™️. And the fact that it was prior to the program? Damn the kid has more potential than he thought.

At first the demon themself is gonna- Ehe carry MC away everytime asmo ties coming in but. With a little nudge and convincing they’d probably stay to listen to Asmo.

Trust me when I say these three will go shopping every weekend once everyone is comfortable with each other. And for what it’s worth they might even get matching outfits.

Asmo would probably try and nitpick how MC even managed to wind up in a pact with a demon without knowledge of the Devildom in the first place but at the same time he thinks it adds to the younger’s charm

These three end up being the child the mom and wine aunt dynamic and y’all can’t convince me otherwise.

“Ehh~? Oh don’t look so weary it’s bad for your face darling~”

Beelzebub

...For some reason happy.

Is this why MC managed to make a pact with his brothers so easily in so little time? Is this why the teen never seems to be bothered by any of his brothers’ threats? Overall he’s happy that you have experience.

He remembers something oddly like this...but in his case he didn’t had experience prior the fall wow way to go at angsting this am I right-

Because unlike him, a being millennia old was so confused of what’s in store for hell after the fall but he had no choice but to grit his teeth and bare the fear.

And someone so young managed to get a taste of a fraction of that experience but here was MC...laughing without a care whilst this other demon places a protective arm in front of them as they interrogate beel- oh wait they were talking to him-

Food as peace offering? You bet, thankfully they did settle with food and unlike first impressions- the demon actually is the most sensible to beel seeing as he was one of the few who...didn’t actively attempt to kill their human- in fact, the demon is probably the one to inform Beel of what demon food the young teen can actually eat and what they prefer.

“I see...ah, would you maybe wanna join us? Food always tastes better when shared”

Belphegor

...could care less until they talk about the whole time universe killing thing-

Ohhh boy- belphie run I’m telling you run- no beel won’t defend you on this one in fact I think I see mammon running with the demon but belphie run boy run-

In all seriousness him and the demon will take the longest to get into terms. Heck not even Mc’s convincing has effect, because the demon really really doesn’t like the avatar of sloth for good reason.

Depending on how the demon even winded up with MC. Belphie would also not like the demon.

That...is until something actually bad happens to MC-

The demon might blindly pin it on belphie but the thing is- he’s also panicking because if he and his brothers were there and the demon was there- wHO TF IS WITH THE TEENAGER-

He...didnt want to have what he did to MC happen again. Let him be the last one to harm the spunky human. I even considered him and the demon to never actually get along no matter how long of a time but...again it all depends on the Hows and Whys.

“I...Care for them as much as you do. Just- Tsk... I don’t need you to believe me.”

[jungkookiebus]

Grain of Sand | jjk

Genre: smut x fluff x established relationship x slice of life Pairing: blind!jjk x reader Rating: 18+ Word Count: 4.2k Warnings: cunnilingus, (light) ass play, fingering, jungkook fucks you against the kitchen sink so i guess that can be a warning, creampie Summary: Blind since the age of 18 from a genetic disorder, Jungkook walked through life as if he never lost it, but on one fateful day seven years ago he literally almost runs into you. He fell in love nearly immediately. Fast forward to the present and it’s just another day in your quiet life with him by your side.

Bright, warm sunshine filled the hallway of your home from the windows that lined the wall. It was one of the reasons you picked this house. You imagined hanging pictures up on the wall for the morning sun to rise upon and, at night, you could still easily see them in the light of the moon. And that’s exactly what you did when you moved in two years ago. Jungkook walked ahead of you, fingers delicately skimming the wall right beneath the pictures. The wall there looked more worn than the rest, a little oily sheen to it from his fingertips. Walls all over your home had these trails. They were like highways for him, directing him to the living room, kitchen, and every room in between. Sometimes, like now, you’d run your fingers along his path lovingly, grazing your fingers underneath your wedding photo.

“What would you like for breakfast?” he asked, and you saw as he tilted his head a little, knowing you were following quietly behind him.

You hummed in thought. You never really were that hungry as soon as you woke up, but the smell of breakfast always made your stomach growl.

“What about…eggs and bacon?”

“Toast?”

“Oh, yes, Taehyung gave us some fresh strawberry jam he made.”

He hummed in a content agreement, turning the corner ahead of you, two fingers brushing the dull edge as he continued down the hallway. The light overhead was still off, and the early morning sun had yet to reach this part of the house, but Jungkook moved by memory and his worn wall path before moving into the kitchen. As he walked into the room, you reached for the light switch and flicked it on.

“What would you like me to do?” you asked. You leaned against the counter as you watched his hands skim the cabinets, and you knew he was counting in his head, until he got to the one he wanted. He pulled out a pan as his other hand reached for the stove, hand finding the burner, before moving it to sit the pan down.

“Uh, if you want to grab the ingredients, that will help.”

“Sure thing, sweet pea.”

Jungkook laughed as he reached for the oil that sat by the stove.

“I should be calling you pet names.”

“You do all the time and you’re just too cute not to.”

Opening the refrigerator, you pulled out the necessary amount of eggs and bacon as not to cause confusion with a clutter of items.

Jungkook lost his sight at the ripe, but terrible age of 18. Retinitis pigmentosa was the cause of his progressive vision loss. Around 10, he started showing signs when he complained about not being able to see outside when he played later in the afternoon, even when the sun was still bright on the horizon. His parents’ worst fears were confirmed with his diagnosis and the heartache of explaining to their son that he would lose his vision completely was devastating. But Jungkook proved strong and focused on studying Braille and doing whatever he could to prepare himself. Over the years, his vision worsened, he didn’t get to get his driver’s license with his friends, and he missed out on many things, but that didn’t stop him from pursuing his passion in music. He felt a connection when he made music because without his vision, it made him that much more acute in his studies. You met Jungkook in college, both music majors, and the reason you had met was because he had accidentally thwacked you with his white cane.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry,” he had said reaching in your direction.

You had laughed and at first his face was set into a confused expression until you spoke.

“Oh, that little thing couldn’t even leave a mark if you had done it intentionally.”

His face screwed up as he tried to hold in a laugh but was unable to do so at your incessant giggling. When you spoke again was when he thinks he fell in love with you, but there were too many moments to count for him.

You nudged the end of his completely white cane with your foot, no red or other markings. “Completely blind, huh?”

You hadn’t said it with any disdain or judgement; you had said it as if you were just having curious, casual conversation. Most of the time Jungkook felt as if his blindness made him invisible to people as if it were some curse to have and if they accidentally came close to him, they’d hurt him or themselves. Of course, he had his close friends and family that didn’t even remember he was blind half the time, but society always kind of sucked that way.

But you, you were the first girl he had ever met that so blatantly astonished him within the first few minutes and his heart flipped in his chest. He didn’t even need to see you to know that you were perfect, and he would end up with you one day. And, sure enough, five years later you were married and looking for a new home.

“How does this one sound?” you asked one night over your tub of chocolate ice cream.

You both sat at your small kitchen table in your small apartment. Jungkook had one headphone in listening to an audiobook, head resting in his hand as his other played absently on yours. You were scrolling through houses on your phone, trying to find the both of you the perfect one. Jungkook hit pause on his book and looked in your direction. Despite his blindness, nothing about his eyes had really changed; they were still a beautiful brown and they were your favorite to see in the evening light, sunset set his eyes aflame.

“Babe, as long as the layout is easy to memorize and it’s what you want, it’s perfect for me.”

“I love you,” you whispered. Tears filled your eyes at the content look on his face, a slight smile played on his lips. You were truly happy with him, sharing every moment together, and to the fullest, but parts of you did feel sad that he couldn’t see it.

“My god,” he whispered somewhat dramatically and suddenly your tears became a small laugh because you knew where this was going. “If your love were a grain of sand…”

“Mine would be a universe of beaches,” you whispered back.

Now, here you were, in your home with its innocuous fingertip paths lining your walls in an intimate artwork that was priceless to you.  

With your back to the counter you leaned and watched as he moved. You only offered help occasionally and when he asked for it, but you were content to watch. His hands always moved lithely, so smooth, as he reached for objects. He cracked the eggs easily into the hot pan as he began to hum. He’d sometimes hum, sometimes sing, but he’d always choose a song about the same length each time and that was how he timed his cooking. The bacon popped loudly.

“Oops, fire’s too high.” He turned the knob to lower the flame before carefully putting his hand back on the handle of his pan. He picked his song up a few seconds after where he left off. The eggs were frying perfectly in the pan, not that you expected any less.

You pushed away from the counter to start grabbing plates as he neared the end of his song. Before long, he had both plates perfectly set with eggs and bacon as you carried the toast to the table. You buttered and spread the strawberry jam on two pieces, dropping one on his plate as you brought them over. He followed behind you, hand on your waist lightly before sitting down at the table.

“What are we gonna do today?” you asked as you bit into the toast. “Holy shit Taehyung knows what he’s doing with this stuff.”

His smile was bright as he cut into his eggs. “What do you feel like doing?”

The sun was now up over the horizon, spilling into the windows and across your kitchen. You had hung various glass artwork throughout the house and right now the stained glass flower you had hung above the kitchen sink cast an array of colors into the room. Jungkook looked like moving artwork across from you. The colors shifted and changed as he moved, leaning back in his chair then forward again, elbow on the table, moving for a napkin, and each time he did splashes of red, green, blue, and yellow painted his skin.

You hadn’t realized you had fallen silent until Jungkook cleared his throat. “Babe?”

“Sorry, I was thinking.”

“About what?”

“The stained glass is casting a lot of pretty colors on you right now and I got distracted.”

“I bet it looks wonderful.”

He smiled softly as he reached for his glass of milk.

“Describe it to me?” He pushed his plate to the middle of the table as he finished. Placing his head in his hands, he looked in your direction, his eyes averted just down from your eyes and somewhere near the apples of your cheeks. Even if he rarely ever made eye contact, your soft voice always lulled him in and pointed him in the right direction.

“Remember when we’d get those cheap plastic kaleidoscopes as kids?” You pulled his plate towards you and stacked it on your own.

He laughed softly at the memory. “I used to think they were so cool, but the pieces inside were just as cheap as the outside.”

“Well think of that…just prettier.” His smile grew wider as his eyes closed and you knew he was thinking back on a memory. Probably a summer day down by the shore, the salty sea air, and the sun on his face. His mom is with him and everything is so bright. He sees the water and the way it stretches to the horizon, but in his peripheral it’s a little darker. For now, he’ll enjoy the waves.

You stood up and took the plates to the sink and began pulling the pots off the stove and putting them under the water with the rest. The sun still shone through the stained glass in front of you. You got lost in thought, hand still under the water waiting for it to heat up as you stared unblinking and the slightly swaying piece of glass. You jumped when a pair of hands softly caressed your hips.

“Shit,” you whispered. You were snapped out of your daydream and you shakily grabbed the sponge before pouring soap over it.

His lips came down on your neck. “Did I scare you?”

“Yea that was real dickish of you.”

He laughed against your neck as he snaked his arms fully around you and held you close. You began scrubbing at a pan as he hummed lightly, placing yet another kiss to your skin. He inhaled deeply and let his warm breath out slowly.

“You smell good,” he murmured.

“Well, I did take a shower last night….” You put the pan in the drying rack before reaching for another one.

His arms tightened around you and he brought himself a little more flush with your body. He hummed again as he moved his lips along the top of your exposed shoulder.  

“What, pray tell, are you doing?” you asked in a mock accent as your hands dove blindly into the water as you searched for more dishes.

“Kissing you,” he said between small pecks.

“Okay.” You pulled a spoon from the filthy depths of the dish water when Jungkook’s hands moved back to your hips and his fingers dug lightly into them.

“Don’t move,” he whispered before dropping to his knees behind you.

Folding his fingers under the waistband of your shorts, he slowly began to pull them past your hips.

“What are you-“ You tried to turn around but keep your hands over the sink at the same time and you could only swivel so far at the hip.

“Shhh.” He kissed the small of your back and then the swell of your ass as he began to palm your ass cheeks. Slowly, he spread them further and further as he placed kisses along your skin. Your body had gotten whiplash; one second you were washing dishes and the next Jungkook was on his knees behind you. You shook slightly and your internal temperature began to rise. Suddenly, having your hands in the warm water became overbearing. You pulled them out and then clung desperately to a dish towel, but there was no way you were drying your hands right now. You felt his lips again and they were on the underside of your ass this time. You clutched the edge of the sink as you stared into the intricate flower in the glass.

Behind you, Jungkook spread your ass and dipped his head, tongue finding your cunt immediately. He hummed into you and you clenched. He spread them further as he licked at your center before he moved to your ass.

“A-ah,” you stuttered as you leaned more into the counter. His face was buried in your ass eating you out until he almost had your thighs shaking before he moved back to your now embarrassingly wet cunt. His moan was deeper this time as you dripped deliciously onto his tongue. Your mind seemed to exit the room as he shook his head, deepening this lewd kiss. He pushed himself up more on his knees, wanting to get as deep into you as he could. Your cries rose in pitch as your thighs began to shake. Your palms dug into the edges of the counters but all you could think about was him. He moaned the more you clenched, getting closer and closer to the release he wanted to give you. You could barely breathe now, and you were nearly on your tiptoes. All the while, Jungkook had his hands firmly on your thighs now with his face anchoring him to your body. You rocked back into his face and his moans began to pitch now, hands almost kneading at your thighs as he wrapped his hands around the front of them, pulling you harder into his face. Your mind felt as if it were on the brink of shutting down as your whole body began to shake. Every muscle in your stomach tensed as you felt yourself tumbling forward.

Different variations of his name fell from your lips in rapid succession as you crested the hill of your release. You fell over it when a large breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Your body shuddered and it felt as if all the blood inside rushed to your cunt. Jungkook was still eating you out as you came on his face, nearly crying into the kitchen sink. His grip on your thighs loosened first and then his tongue slowed. Your body shuddered every now and then from the aftershock. He kissed the underside of your ass again before standing. He pulled you into him again and held you close as you caught your breath. He kissed the side of your neck as his cheek rested against your skin.

“You taste good, too,” he mumbled.

You let out a shaky laugh. He had said it so nonchalantly as if he weren’t on his knees, face nowhere to be seen, just minutes before.

“Now, my kaleidoscope eyes,” he reached for the back of your knee and brought your leg upwards, “I need you to rest this here.”

He had your leg up on the counter comfortably and then he dipped his hand back between them. Your hips jerked involuntarily as he played with your painfully swollen clit. He circled the tips of his fingers on it softly. He kissed your skin delicately, reverently. The sun rose higher in the sky and from behind your eyelids you could see various colors of orange, blue, and red.

“You always describe the world so beautifully to me,” he whispered.

“I-I don’t want you t-to miss out.” You were a mess and he was making you an even bigger mess.

“Your vision of the world is far better than anything I could dream up.”

His fingers pressed a little harder and you wanted to clench around something only to be met with air. You whined a little as his breath picked up against your skin and he rutted into you. You felt his cock through his sweats and your mouth instantly watered. He hummed again as you began to drip on his fingers as he dipped them before pushing inside of you. He let out a shuddering breath as you swallowed his fingers fully, clenching hard around him. He pushed into you again, cock hard against your ass and he leaned into you as you pressed further into the counter.

“Tell me what you want,” he said gruffly as he pumped his fingers inside of you.

Your toes curled against the countertop, knee hitting a mug across the marble surface but neither of you bothered to acknowledge it. Jungkook was rutting into you now and breathing hotly into your ear. His other hand was on your breast kneading it roughly.

“God, Jungkook, just fuck me already.” You were doubled over with him hot on your back. His fingers pumped faster and faster and you were on your tiptoe again. You pushed your hips into him as he gave two more hard thrusts into you before pulling his fingers away.

His hands were only gone for what seemed like seconds before he had one on your hip and the other rubbing his cock between your folds. You moaned as you anticipated him. You didn’t have to wait long before he was sliding inside of you easily. His body was hot against yours and his skin against your ass was even hotter. His hand was at your breast again kneading as his heavy cock slid in and out of you slowly as if he were trying to make this moment last forever.

“What colors do you see now?” he whispered. His voice sounded strained like he was holding back. How were you supposed to concentrate?

You squinted when you were finally able to open your eyes; the sun was higher and brighter in the sky since you last looked. All you could think about was his cock softly nudging against the nerves inside of you, but he wasn’t going fast enough to really stimulate anything. You pushed your hips back into him again, but he didn’t take the bait as he pinched your nipple through your shirt. His other hand was anchoring your leg to the counter so you couldn’t move it from where he placed it. Plentiful soap suds were all over the sink and slowly popping but there was enough for the colors to be cast in a strange refracted way. The angle of the light caused more rainbows to shine from the hundreds of tiny bubbles. You reached out and braced yourself on the windowsill above the sink before you spoke.

“All of t-them. They’re shining on the soap now.” You were no stranger to describing things to Jungkook, but during sex was a new one.

He seemed satisfied as his pace quickened. His lips were on your neck, wet, and travelling upwards until he bit your earlobe between his teeth. Once again, you were pushing your hips into him as much as he’d let you. He was much too strong pushing you against the counter and his hand on your leg limited your movements.

“Jungkook, please.” You were breathless now, travelling up to that peak again but you needed more than this. He didn’t need to ask to hear your underlying question. He pressed against you harder while at the same time quickening his pace. The hand on your breast splayed across your chest before he moved it slowly down your stomach. Your breath caught in your throat as your stomach tightened. He was dipping his fingers between your legs again and pressed two fingers to your clit. Your chest came flush with the edge of the counter now and you felt Jungkook’s cheek on your shoulder blade. You reached for anything to brace yourself after your sweaty palm slid from the windowsill. You knocked soap and various other items down, sending some splashing into the water and others into the empty side of the steel sink. Jungkook ignored the clattering of items as he began to snap his hips harder. The pressure he had on your clit was barely there but enough to have you straining and willing your body to fall, but you just whimpered as you cried into the sink. He controlled your orgasm and all you could do was fall into the delectable pleasure he was giving you because you knew he always delivered. There was no way he was letting you physically walk away from this.  

The room grew hotter the higher the sun climbed as it cast its menagerie of colors onto your face. The ends of your hair gathered the water droplets collected in the sink as your body shifted with each thrust. Without his sight, Jungkook was acutely more aware to other parts of your body. Like the way your cunt would flutter and tighten like a vice the closer you got your orgasm. He could practically feel the muscles in your back tense up as you focused all your attention to the burning in your abdomen. He pressed his fingers a little harder before moving them faster on your clit. The nerve endings inside were lit on fire, sending the hot flames licking in your core and up into your chest as every hair on your body stood on end as your skin flushed with goosebumps. You began to tremble, thighs cramping as you brought yourself fully up on your toes, other leg sweating against the marble counter. Jungkook’s large hand was still firm on the back of your thigh, keeping your leg up on the edge as he fucked into you faster and harder. You were crying loudly now, not holding anything back as he led you towards the end. Your orgasm hit with an explosion of colors behind your eyelids, aided by the stained glass. Jungkook’s fingers abandoned your clit in favor of bringing you more upright to turn your face enough for a searing kiss; his lips skated across your cheek before he found yours and you moaned into his mouth. He still thrust, ready to follow you down the other side and you clenched harder around him almost making it impossible for him to stay inside, but he had his hips hard against yours and into the counter in front of you. He braced himself against your thigh, his other hand on the counter now, and his lips still on yours as he spilled inside of you. Hot cum began to leak immediately around him and onto the floor. Usually you had your closed legs to keep it contained but now he was dripping all over the kitchen floor. Not that you minded. His moans dropped in pitch as he continued to thrust, overwhelmed by the feeling of you and his cum filling you up and then spilling out. With hips stuttering a few more times, he stilled. Without his movements you could now feel the slip of his cum as it came out of you. Slowly, he let go of your thigh and eased it to the floor. You winced as your cramped muscles begged for relief, but he was gentle in his movements, letting you adjust. He kissed your temple and the side of your face while you tried to regain your breath. Your legs felt as if they’d give out at any moment as they wobbled dangerously, but his steadfast grasp around your waist kept you upright.

The early morning sun still climbed in the sky, now out of view of the stained glass. The kitchen was yet again cast in the muted glow as it hid behind the trees, a display of leaves now covered the room in a strange dance. Jungkook was silent behind you, but still holding you close as he waited for your legs to regain their strength. The dishes sat scattered and forgotten in the sink and on the counter. The last of the soap bubbles were popping away and any hint of the colorful display was gone except for the stained glass now hanging somewhat plainly in the window.

He pulled you impossibly closer, face nuzzled into your neck as he hummed a nonsensical tune.

“Thank you,” he whispered. You were silent, knowing he had more to say. “Thank you for bringing color into my world.”

You squeezed his hand that was around your waist. You didn’t have to say much for him to understand, but what he didn’t know was how much he had brought into yours.

“If your love were a grain of sand…” you began.

“Mine,” he said with a whisper and a kiss to your exposed shoulder, “would be a universe of beaches.”

[pastelwitchling]

“What do you mean he’s been hit with truth serum?” Michael demanded.

Alex giggled from where he had his head rested against the wall, his half-lidded eyes on Michael. “You’re pretty.”

Michael and Liz stared at him a moment, Michael’s cheeks warm.

“Exactly what it sounds like!” Liz said urgently. “Look, it’s all my fault, I – I got in an argument with Max, I wasn’t paying attention, the solution was about to erupt, Alex jumped in to protect me, and he got hit!”

“It’s not so bad,” Alex said from the corner. He pointed at Michael’s open flannel. “I love it when you wear your shirt like that, by the way. Unbutton another one.” He straightened. “Never mind, don’t. I don’t want anybody staring at you but me.”

Michael exhaled slowly. He looked to Liz whose eyes were wide, her cheeks pink. “Why were you making truth serum?!” he snapped.

“It was unfinished!” she argued. “It wasn’t supposed to be a truth serum!”

“I like the way you smell,” Alex told her dreamily. “Makes me feel safe. Well, it did, until you played favorites and encouraged Maria to go after the only man I’ve ever loved. Did you ever consider what that would do to me? It killed me every second, by the way.” He perked up. “Oh! I left my copy of Little Women under the sofa! I’ll have to remember to check when I get back.”

Neither Liz nor Michael said anything in response to that for a long time. Michael felt an uncomfortable twitch in his spine at the mention of his ex, and Liz looked no more pleased with herself for her mistakes.

Michael shut his eyes. “Why am I here? Don’t you think I’m the last person who should be around Alex when he’s spilling his guts out?”

“You’re the only other person who can help me find an antidote to this!”

“Aww,” Alex laughed. “You’re both so scared of the truth. I don’t think my feelings have been any secret.” He pointed at Michael. “I’m in love with you –” He looked to Liz “—I’m disappointed with you.” He shrugged. “And I can’t even look at Maria anymore without wanting to scream and cry my eyes out.” He slumped. “I’m hungry. I don’t eat nearly enough.”

“I can’t –” Michael shook his head. “I can’t do this, I can’t be here.”

He turned to the door, made it just to the handle, and Alex called out in a singsong voice, “Michael’s running away again!”

Michael stopped, his whole body tense and on edge. He turned slowly to Alex to find him staring blatantly back at him, his smile intact, but his eyes glassy, as if a small part of him was still conscious of what was going on.

“I don’t run away from you, Alex,” he said.

Liz held a hand up. “Michael, he’s under a serum’s effects, he doesn’t know what he’s –”

“Don’t you?” Alex whispered, but his sad tone and teasing smile were enough to blanket the lab with a heavy silence. “Never seems to matter what’s happening to me, how hurt I am, how scared or lost or confused . . . you’ve never stayed for any of it.”

He stretched out his arms and legs. “Sure wish it had been that easy for me to abandon you like that.” He laughed. “But no, I kept coming back. Kept hoping. Then you’d make some joke about me –” he faltered, like a lump in his throat constricted his words, “being good for nothing but sex, and I’d feel like an idiot every time.”

Michael took a step towards him. “I . . .” he breathed. “Alex, no, I never meant any of that.”

Alex hummed. “I know, Guerin. I always know.” His smile turned small as he looked down at his lap. “But you were nice to her. I was always jealous of that. That you were so nice to her, but you were fine with making me feel . . .”

Liz was watching with furrowed brows, her own eyes glassy at the exchange. Michael suspected she only now was realizing the damage she’d done when she’d – as Alex had put it – played favorites.

“Feel what?”

Alex smiled like it was all a fun, tragic joke. “Unwanted.” His eyes turned dazed, his smile small. “I’m so tired. I don’t sleep nearly enough.”

Without another word to either of them, Alex curled up against the wall and closed his eyes. A moment later, he was breathing deeply.

Liz let out a shaking breath and sniffed, wiping her cheek. Michael watched as Alex slept, then turned to the table, pulling off his jacket. He levitated it over to gently cover Alex.

“What’re you doing?” Liz asked as he pulled out a few beakers.

“Working on an antidote,” Michael said. His voice was distant and dark to his own ears. “Before he wakes up.”

 Michael worked fast when he was pissed off, and he was pissed off, but only at himself. All this time, Alex had spent it with his shattered heart in his hands, and Michael had never noticed. Or maybe he had. That was the most frightening thought of all. That he’d known how miserable and tired Alex had been, and left him alone to deal with it.

He finished an antidote in less than an hour.

“Here,” he handed the spray to Liz, watching Alex. “You do it.”

“Right,” Liz took the antidote glumly, like a child being told to clean up their own mess. Either that, or she, like Michael, was still reeling from Alex’s honesty.

She sprayed several times around his face, let him inhale the odorless, colorless serum, and he woke with a flutter of his eyes. He blinked up at Liz who must’ve looked like she was about to attack him with perfume, and his brows furrowed as he pushed himself off the wall.

He looked around a moment, seemed to realize Michael was there, and his frown deepened.

“Did I miss something?”

“Quick,” she said. “Tell a lie!”

“Uh – about what? What do you mean?”

Liz glanced back at Michael, then took a deep breath, bracing herself. “Are you mad at me for talking to Maria about Michael?”

Alex blinked, startled, then his expression cooled and his impartial laugh slotted right into place. “What? No, Liz, what’s going on?”

Michael’s jaw clenched. “He can lie.”

Liz’s shoulders slumped, but guilt accompanied the relief in her frown. She wrapped her arms around Alex’s shoulders and hugged him tightly. “He’s okay. You’re okay.”

“I can lie?” Alex frowned, and Michael could see the gears in his head turning. “I couldn’t before?”

Liz pulled back. “You really don’t remember? My truth serum exploded, and you were hit!”

A moment of panic crossed his face before it was gone, so quickly that anyone that didn’t pay attention to every single thing Alex did would’ve missed it. But Michael did pay attention, so he hadn’t.

“It was truth serum?” he asked, then, “Why the hell were you making truth serum?”

“It wasn’t supposed to be truth serum!” she defended, exasperated.

“Liz,” Michael said darkly, “give us a minute.”

Liz looked between Michael and Alex for a moment before she silently nodded, brushed back Alex’s bangs, and left the lab.

Michael and Alex sat alone in the silence for a long time before Alex said, “I talked, huh?”

Michael shook his head. “Yeah,” he said. “You finally did.”

Alex met his anger with a cool glare. “I came to your trailer to talk, remember? You never showed up. I offered my help, you told me you liked someone else.”

“Stop it,” Michael growled.

“That’s what happened,” Alex reminded him. “What did you want me to do, Guerin? You went after her, you didn’t come after me.” He shrugged. “I don’t know what else there is to say.”

“Stop talking like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like you’ve given up on us!”

Alex stood, his expression darkening. “I wasn’t the one that fell in love with someone else, Guerin.”

He turned to leave, but Michael grabbed his wrist and turned him around so that he stumbled right into his chest. Michael wrapped his arms around Alex’s body, keeping him pressed against him.

“Neither was I,” he whispered against Alex’s lips.

Alex, startled, searched Michael’s face.

Michael’s eyes burned and his grip on Alex tightened. “I didn’t want to be unwanted.” Alex faltered. “I knew you wanted to have me,” he shook his head, “not that you wanted to keep me.”

Alex’s frown deepened and he sighed, turning his face away before Michael gripped his chin and pulled him in for a kiss. Alex gasped against his lips, shocked, but Michael couldn’t get his expression out of his mind; when he’d told the truth of how hurt he was, the way he’d smiled because he’d believed no one would care, and knew he had to be fine with that. Even under a serum’s effects, he’d warned himself not to show too much emotion, not to break in front of the people he no longer trusted.

It made Michael pull him in deeper, kiss him harder, tilt his head and taste Alex’s tongue and nearly tear off his shirt. He wanted to touch every inch of Alex’s skin, to whisper his love for him against his lips, his neck, his chest, his stomach, his arms, his legs. All this time, he hadn’t realized just how badly he’d been suffocating, and now, with Alex back in his arms, he felt right. He felt like he could finally breathe.

Alex pulled away. “Stop,” he panted, his hands curled to fists on Michael’s chest. “Stop, you can’t just . . . I don’t trust you anymore, Guerin.”

A lump lodged in Michael’s throat, and he held Alex tighter, holding him close enough that nothing could’ve fit between them.

“I’ll earn it back,” he promised, pressing his forehead to Alex’s to keep them close. “I’ll earn your trust back, I swear.” He swallowed. “I want to be good for you, Alex.”

Alex tensed, doubt flickering in his eyes. Michael cupped his jaw and held on tight, his thumb brushing Alex’s cheek.

He growled, “I know I can be good for you.”

Alex’s lower lip trembled, and his eyes filled with tears. He whispered, “And what if I’m not good enough for you?”

Michael scoffed, unable to help the grin pulling at his lips as he closed his eyes, taking in the warmth of Alex against him.

“No one’s better for me than you.”

*** Shrug.

[skzsauce01]

Matters of the Head and Heart

Synopsis: Mechanical hatmaker Mr. Felix Lee finds himself being charmed by your flirtatious antics towards him. However, you being an upper class young lady means nothing will come out of it. Right? Steampunk-ish AU set in 1850s Victorian London. Historical accuracy not guaranteed.

Warning: none

Word Count: 13.1k

Pairing: fem!reader x hatmaker!Felix

Mr. Felix Lee, having been an apprentice and a hatmaker for several years, is no stranger to the odd request or so, but the one he receives today is by far the most peculiar.

“A tea party?” he repeats. He eyes the cream colored envelope you delicately hold out before him, still trying to comprehend the unusualness of it all. “And I’ve been invited?”

“Yes, Mr. Lee,” you say with a smile. “It’s a short notice, I understand, but the hostess would be delighted if you attended.”

He elects to stall for time while he makes sense of it. Why is he invited? Surely, it is unheard of for a hatmaker to partake in a ladies’ tea party. “If I might ask, who is the hostess?”

“A good friend of mine, Miss Shin. She is quite the hat enthusiast and has been inquiring about the designer of my mechanical blooming rose one.”

“That would be me, I suppose,” he dumbly says. He remembers the challenge of your headdress. The flower petals were meticulously arranged and joined together so that they would furl and unfurl. It was quite the endeavor to craft, so he can hardly blame Miss Shin for wanting to learn more. He takes the envelope from you and sets it down on the counter, accepting the invite. “Who else has been invited?”

“She would not tell me about the others, but I think she’s planning her debut ball soon.”

Felix sagely nods. A young lady’s coming out into society is a grand affair, and Felix has heard the stories from fellow craftsmen about the intricacies demanded. If he’s fortunate, maybe Miss Shin, apparent hat enthusiast, will order something from him. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Nothing else, I’m afraid. Good day.” You curtsy and turn to leave, your wide skirts brushing against the sides of a display table.

Felix is feeling rather bold after all that, so he asks the back of your dress, “Will I see you there?”

You look back, lips curled upward in a small smile. It’s different from your typical ones, more playful and less guarded. The downward tilt of your chin is almost seductive, and Felix is doing his best not to turn scarlet. Some of his customers have flirted with him before, but you have never done so so blatantly. He wonders why you are acting coquettish now. Perhaps he merely hopes you are.

“Of course. Who else would introduce you to her?”

The front door of his shop swings shut, leaving him alone again. It is then that Felix realizes how inappropriate the entire situation was. You, an unmarried young lady, had no chaperone with you.

Felix swiftly returns to his latest piece of work to distract himself. He will not say a word about what occurred, but it does not mean that he is not flustered by it. It does not help that the cornflower blue fabric of the silk ribbon he holds matches your skirt perfectly.

The next morning, Felix arrives at a predicament: what does one wear to a tea party if one has never been to such an event before? After much deliberation and a chat with his elderly neighbor, he decides on his Sunday best despite the day being Saturday. He hangs up a sign in the window of his shop stating that he is closed and begins the walk to Miss Shin’s residence.

Unfortunately, the journey is more arduous than he expects as her home is well outside the city. The vast, open countryside is a stark contrast to the cramped buildings Felix is used to, so he spends most of his time admiring the greens and browns of around him. The scenery is the only pleasant part of his day thus far. His newly polished black boots are dusty from the dirt path he walks on, and there is a thin layer of perspiration on his face.

Sometime in the midmorning, a horse-pulled wagon passes by him, and the occupant facing the back calls out to him in a decidedly ungentlemanly fashion when he sees Felix.

“Sir in the blue coat! Mr. Lee, is that you?” he shouts as he stands up while the wagon is still being driven. “It is! Mr. Yang, stop the cart.”

The wagon slows to a stop, and the loud gentleman waves Felix over. “Mr. Lee! It’s Mr. Han Jisung! Would you like a lift?”

Felix graciously accepts his offer and sits at the back with him. He then greets both men with a nod. Jeongin, the poor driver who looks like he is still half asleep, urges the horse forward.

“Are you heading to Miss Shin’s as well?” Felix asks. Mr. Han is a renowned dressmaker known for his use of mechanical moving elements in his designs, which now that Felix thinks about, is similar to his own specialty. If Miss Shin desires a grandiose debut dress, Mr. Han is the one to order from.

Mr. Han nods and pulls an envelope from his coat. It is the same cream colored one Felix has tucked away in his own, the only difference being the name of the individual being addressed on the front. “I’ve made a few things for her before, but this is the first time she’s invited me to her home. And for a tea party of all things! Have you been to her home before?”

“No. She has never ordered from me either. A friend of hers gave me the invite.” Mr. Han ponders over this for some time, and Felix adds, “Her friend believes that Miss Shin is planning her debut ball soon.”

Mr. Han snaps his fingers at the news and nods. “That must be it! She does enjoy extravagant gowns, and your hats would go well with my designs. The singing bird one in your window is astounding! I ought to make something to go with it.”

Felix, thrilled at such a compliment from a man renowned for his mechanical prowess, smiles proudly. For the rest of the way, they talk about other inconsequential things like the weather and the traveling play troupe.

Soon, they arrive at their destination. The conversation quickly dies away once they take in the estate. Miss Shin has no title, yet her family’s home is fit for a duke or even a king. The exterior paint is a blinding white, not a trace of soot anywhere despite there being a carefully hidden coal burner at the side of the mansion. The front door boasts of a large brass knocker and stained glass cutouts, while the front gardens have a large fountain as a centerpiece.

Mr. Han speaks, or rather whispers, first. “This is certainly a sight.”

“I would say so.”

The driver parks his wagon, dilapidated and shabby compared to the gleaming carriage by the entrance, a short distance behind the carriage. Felix and Mr. Han hop off the wagon while Mr. Yang drives the horse to the stables, also magnificent in their own right. As they walk to the front door, the carriage door opens and out steps another familiar face. Felix and Mr. Han raise their top hats and bow to you, and you curtsy once your footman has helped you down. Your chaperone, who was absent yesterday, follows, and Felix and Mr. Han greet her as well. Felix averts his eyes in an attempt to rid himself of the memory.

“Mr. Lee,” you say. “And you are Mr. Han, I believe? Miss Shin talks at great length about your designs. I’ve been meaning to buy one myself.”

Mr. Han beams at this and holds his arm out for you as your small group approaches the stairs. When you take it, Felix feels a twinge of envy. Instead, he offers his arm out to your chaperone, who also takes it.

A butler, an automaton of the latest model, guides the guests to the garden out back where the party is occuring. Felix cannot help but admire the clever design of the large clock in the foyer and decides he ought to make a clockwork hat soon. The garden, lush with more greenery and sweet scented flowers, has a round table topped with empty plates and pots of tea. The young lady wearing a large brimmed hat with dangling gemstones must be Miss Shin. A hat enthusiast indeed.

You let go of Mr. Han’s arm and head to embrace her. “Ryujin! It’s so nice to see you again!” You turn back and gesture at the two men who accompanied you inside her home. “You know Mr. Han of course, but this is Mr. Lee, the hatmaker you have been inquiring about.”

Felix bows to Miss Shin. “A pleasure to meet you, Miss Shin.”

“And you, Mr. Lee. Come, have a seat.”

After the guests take their places — Felix happily notes that you take the seat across from his — Miss Shin signals the automaton waitstaff to begin bringing out the food and pours tea for everyone. There are small tea cakes, finger sandwiches, and other morsels of food that seem too delicate to eat. You make light conversation about how lovely everything is, and Mr. Han agrees. For the next few minutes, there is idle small talk about the garden while the craftsmen impatiently wait for Miss Shin to address why she has invited them to her party. Mr. Han, however, asks before she says anything.

Miss Shin is not perturbed by this. In fact, she smiles broadly at the opportunity. “My debut into society will occur in the upcoming season, and I intend to have a spectacular one. You two gentlemen design the most exquisite clothes, and I need something unlike anything the world has ever seen.”

Felix glances over to see your reaction about being correct, but your face is hidden by a porcelain tea cup. When he checks to see his Mr. Han’s reaction, it is similar to his — expectant and excited for a challenge.

“You will all be paid handsomely, of course,” she offhandedly adds. “No expense will be spared.”

“Did you have something in mind?” Mr. Han asks.

“A theme of royal blue and brass,” she dramatically says, waving her lace gloved hands in the air. “I confess, Mr. Han, I was so enamored with the evening gown you made last season that I decided I wanted something like it for my debut ball.”

Felix has nary an idea what she is referring to, but he assumes it is a work of art. On the other hand, you’re nodding your head in agreement.

“Oh, yes. Everyone at the party thought it was divine!”

Miss Shin picks up her tea cup and primly holds it to her lips. “Mr. Han, Mr. Lee: are you interested?”

“Yes,” Felix immediately replies, of which Mr. Han echoes.

“Perfect. I trust that you both will create something magnificent. But enough business talk. For now, please enjoy yourselves.”

The conversation about her debut’s details lasted less than five minutes. However, they defer to Miss Shin’s request. Felix awkwardly sips his Darjeeling tea while Mr. Han selects a pistachio tea cake.

More compliments to the garden and food are made, and it becomes apparent that there is not much else appropriate to chat about. Felix and Mr. Han are both already uncomfortable, and the chaperones and mechanical waitstaff surrounding the table only exacerbate their unease. Despite Felix’s feelings though, attending the tea party is not all terrible. Not only does Felix receive a commission from who he finally realizes is the daughter of the illustrious Shin Industries, he is allowed to spend some time with you. You are jovial and are able to elicit a few laughs from everyone with your humor. Felix adds upon your jokes and turns a pleasant shade of pink when you chortle at his pun.

By midafternoon, the party closes to an end. Felix graciously thanks Miss Shin for the invite and tells her that he will do his utmost best to create a stunning headdress for her. When the butler arrives to escort them to the front entrance, Felix purposely walks slower to be near you.

“I must thank you for your interest in my designs,” he says. “This is quite the opportunity. Without you, I do not think I would have been here today.”

You shake your head. “She would have found out about you anyway. She’s always on the lookout for latest fashions and innovations, so I was surprised that she hadn’t discovered you before I did.”

You are fast approaching the door; Felix remembers the large clock in the front room. Mr. Han is walking quicklier than Felix prefers, so Felix only has a few seconds to come up with something else to say.

“Will you be needing a new headdress for the ball?” he asks.

“Possibly. Of course, I will come to your shop if I find that I do.”

Felix holds out his arm for you to hold as you head down the stairs. Your hand is gloved, and his coat is thick, but it feels as if your bare skin is touching his.

“I look forward to it,” he says.

Right before you step into the carriage, you flash him yet another coquettish smile that makes him flush. “As do I.”

Your chaperone, an austere lady with a high necked dress, arches an eyebrow at this exchange but says nothing. The last Felix sees of you is the long skirt of your cornflower blue gown disappearing into the carriage.

“Mr. Lee, would like a ride back to the city?” Mr. Han asks, jolting Felix out of his thoughts.

“That would be wonderful.”

The journey back is filled with discussion about Miss Shin’s requests. Mr. Han describes the mysterious evening gown: a vision of royal blue silk, lace trimmings, and brass and phosphorus star-like ornaments. Felix realizes that you and Miss Shin share similar tastes for themed clothes. He tells Mr. Han of this, and Mr. Han gives him a sly look.

“If I may be so forward, do you fancy Miss L/N?”

Felix grows hot and directs his gaze to the countryside. “She is merely a customer of mine.”

“Of course, my mistake," he replies, though his tone implies it is anything but.

Fortunately, Mr. Han does not push the topic any further and mercifully changes the subject to decreasing prices of velvet. Felix inwardly sighs in relief.

Several days later, Felix is in the midst of his work when his shop swings open. When he hears the noise, he pushes his tools to the side and replaces the intense scowl with a pleasant smile.

"Welcome! How may I be of service?"

"Good afternoon, Mr. Lee," the young lady greets. She pushes the brim of her gemstone hat back. "I've just had the most wonderful idea for my hat, and I need you to bring it to life!"

Miss Shin has quite the eccentric style, and her grand idea exemplifies it. After a trip to the newfangled aquarium exhibit at the conservatory, she has decided on an oceanic theme for her debut ball and wants an “octopus” upon her head. Felix has no idea what that is.

"It’s a fascinating thing with eight arms. I hear they also call it the devil fish, though it is more devil than fish.”

Miss Shin’s chaperone nods in agreement and shudders at the mention of it. On the other hand, Miss Shin herself seems enamored with such a creature.

“I will do my best. Are your chosen colors the same?”

“Yes. The royal blue will nicely lend itself to the theme.” She sighs dreamily, and Felix wonders how deeply she has thought about this.

“It sounds marvellous. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Not today, but perhaps another time.” She glances back at the door momentarily. “I must go to Mr. Han about this. I’ll be sure to come with payment for it next time. Goodbye, Mr. Lee.”

“Goodbye, Miss Shin.”

The store is quiet again. Instead of picking up his tools, Felix grabs his stovepipe hat from its hook and heads to the local conservatory to get a glimpse of the octopus Miss Shin spoke so earnestly about.

It is indeed as fascinating as she made it out to be. The gears in his head begin to turn.

The following day, Felix spends the late afternoon at Mr. Han’s shop to discuss Miss Shin’s requests. Mr. Han is also amused by the prospect.

“She asked for an octopus-like gown as well,” he remarks. “Have you seen one before?”

“Just yesterday I visited the aquarium. It’s like a balloon with many strings.”

Mr. Han snorts the comment. “How accurate. Are odd creatures the fashion nowadays?”

Before Felix can answer — “I’m not sure, but Miss Shin seems to dictate trends than follow them” — the bell on the shop door rings, indicating someone has come in. Felix stops leaning against the wall and straightens up to greet the person. Upon doing so, he recognizes that said person is you.

You look just as surprised as he is. “Oh, Mr. Lee! Hello. I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“Good afternoon, Miss L/N,” he says, bowing. He adjusts his hat to better hide his warming ears.

Mr. Han stands up from behind the counter and smiles broadly. “Miss L/N, Miss Wang,” he says, referring to your chaperone, who seems pleased to be acknowledged. “Are you here for a dress?”

“Yes. I’ve been waiting all week to come here. But just something simple though.”

Mr. Han’s “simple” designs are still far more extravagant than the gowns sold by typical dressmakers, but they seem to be your taste. Felix pretends to be preoccupied by the mechanical doves flying about the skirt of an unfinished dress while you select something from Mr. Han’s inventory. Your constant humming and deliberation make it difficult for him not to be distracted. He sneaks a glance at you, and you are browsing through the dress forms with interest. A delighted smile appears on your face each time you discover the hidden mechanical details embedded in the fabric.

“I think this one will do,” you say, stopping at a lilac walking dress with small turning gears in place of buttons.

While Mr. Han carefully wraps and packages the gown for you, Felix hovers by the counter, wishing that he had something clever to say. The weather is dull and unimaginative, the current traveling play troupe in town has been discussed to death, and the tea party from last week is old news.

“Have you seen an octopus before?” he blurts out, forgoing a transition. He regrets his decision when he realizes how impolite it is. He thinks he hears Mr. Han stifle a laugh at his eagerness.

To his relief, you don’t seem to care. “Oh, yes! I visited the exhibit at the conservatory a few days ago and saw one up close. A frightening but intriguing beast.”

“It is.” He’s running out of words now. Mr. Han seems to be spending a lengthy amount of time tying twine.

“What did you think of it?” you ask, oblivious to Felix’s increasing internal panic. “I assume you have seen one by your words.”

If he didn’t fancy you before, he does now. “Intriguing as well. And inspiring. It’s unlike anything I have ever seen.”

“Should I expect an octopus hat for sale soon?” you teasingly say. “I imagine you would be able to make something spectacular. You are quite the inventor.”

Your chaperone makes a noise of disapproval at your blatant flattery and possible flirting. “Miss L/N, I believe it is time for us to go. Now.”

You take your parcel from Mr. Han and thank him. To Felix, you grin and say, “I look forward to the hat.”

“Miss L/N, that is enough.”

You bid the two men goodbye and follow your chaperone out the door. Felix hears you grumble, “Fei, you are not very fun.”

When the door shuts, Mr. Han turns to Felix with a satisfied expression. “You’re welcome, by the way. What a shame Miss Wang interrupted.”

“I haven’t a clue what you’re referring to,” Felix says, a pleased blush spreading across his cheeks. There’s no denying that he enjoys being on the receiving end of your advances, no matter how much he pretends he doesn’t notice them. “I think it is best that I go now as well. To start on the drafting process.”

“Oh, you have an idea? What is it?”

Felix describes it to him, detailing the waving tentacles he has envisioned and the way they could be coiled into Miss Shin’s hair if she wished. Mr. Han looks impressed by his ingenuity and ponders over the design like he’s considering something similar.

“I’ll let you take your leave,” Mr. Han says. He unrolls some more length of butcher paper onto the counter and picks up his pencil. “You’re not going to chase after her, are you?”

“I wouldn’t do such a thing!”

Mr. Han nods, clearly not believing him. “Alright then. I hope your plan goes well. Good day, Mr. Lee.”

“Good day.”

True to his word, Felix heads back to his shop and does not run after you. He leaves the ‘CLOSED’ sign hanging in the window and heads to his work surface to begin the calculations for Miss Shin’s headdress. However, even with such an important task at hand, his mind still drifts to you.

He wonders why he is so easily tempted by your flirting. Yes, you are pretty, but beauty alone has never made his heart beat nearly as quickly as it does when he is around you. Your natural charm borders on brazenness sometimes, but he doesn’t detest it. To be honest, it’s refreshing in an era where everyone’s advances are supposed to be reserved and ambiguous.

He realizes he has answered his own question.

With a soft sigh, he returns to his sketches, each curve of his drawings reminding him of your carefree smile. He fancies you. He fancies you a lot.

As midwinter approaches and the beginning of the season begins, Felix’s shop is flooded with customers wanting new hats. Somehow, word has gotten out among the upper class about the new hatmaker with fine craftsmanship and one-of-a-kind designs. Most of his finished products are snatched up, and several people ask about placing future orders. He takes a select few; after all, he has another very important project that needs to be done.

He asks Mr. Han if he has experienced this wave of new business as well, to which Mr. Han says something similar happens to him every season.

“You’re a new face, so it’s natural,” he assures. “I imagine Miss Shin’s upcoming ball has much to do with it as well.”

Felix does not fully understand Mr. Han’s remark until Miss Shin stops by with her payment days later. She gives him a little more than necessary, but when Felix tries to hand the remainder back, she waves it off, citing it as a gesture of her appreciation.

With more cheer than before, Felix shows Miss Shin the progress he has made on her headdress so far: tentacles that trail down the back, moving pieces that make it appear the arms are waving, and glowing phosphorus eyes. Miss Shin marvells over each element and declares it spectacular. Then she pulls an envelope from her reticule and presents it to Felix, who stares at it not unlike he did weeks ago to a similar piece of stationery.

His name is clearly written on the front, but he hesitantly asks, “It is for me?”

“Yes. An invitation to my debut.”

You will certainly be there as a member of Miss Shin’s court, and if he goes, then…

Perhaps a dance? A chat? His mind spins with possibilities. However, he’s more concerned about why he’s being invited to such a high-class affair as a hatmaker.

“Pardon me, but why am I invited?”

“In case of mechanical errors. I can’t have the day spoiled because of something like that. Not that I expect it to,” she hastily adds after seeing Felix’s affronted expression. “Mr. Han has been invited for the same reason. It’s simply a precaution.”

“I see.”

“A few of my friends are asking about you as well. Besides,” she slyly adds, “you’re a young, eligible gentleman. I’m sure someone will be delighted with your presence.”

Felix nods slowly as if he is thinking it over. Is she talking about you? He certainly hopes so. “Thank you for the invite. Is there anything else I can assist you with?”

“Just sure to attend my debut. Anyway, I must be on my way now. Good day, Mr. Lee.”

“Good day.”

She and her chaperone head for the door. Once they are out of sight, Felix breaks the seal on the envelope and notes the date of the party: nearly a fortnight away. No matter his previous apprehensions about it, he is going to attend. He would be a fool not to.

The ball is in a week’s time, and Felix has spent the past few days and nights putting the finishing touches to the octopus headdress. It is done now, nary a mechanical error or physical blemish in sight. He even has Mr. Han look it over, and the mechanical genius himself deems it to be perfect.

Felix sighs in relief and sinks into his chair, the cushion worn thin from so many hours of him sitting on it. “This was the most challenging design I have ever done.”

“You did a splendid job,” Mr. Han reassures. “Would you like me to mail it to her along with her dress? I’m nearly done with it.”

“That would be wonderful.” He doubts Miss Shin will return since he has not heard a word from her since she last visited a week ago. The pieces of gossip he overhears from customers corroborate his assumptions; they whisper about Miss Shin overseeing the planning of her extravagant ball by herself and how exhausting it must be.

He delicately places the hat into a velvet-lined hatbox and covers the top with tissue paper. Then he pops on the lid.

“Are you attending her debut?” he asks. “Miss Shin said she invited you.”

“Of course!” he replies, and Felix is glad that he won’t be the lone craftsman there. “It’s far too good of a business opportunity to pass up. I take it you will be there as well?”

“Like you said, it’s far too good of a business opportunity to pass up.”

“And other kinds of opportunities as well.” He glances at the clock hanging above Felix’s head. “Ah, I ought to get going. This was supposed to be a quick break. Goodbye, Mr. Lee.”

Mr. Han holds the box close to his chest when he leaves. Felix watches closely and relaxes when Mr. Han does not run down the street like he expected him to. He trusts that the hat will arrive in perfect condition, but if it does not, well, that is why Miss Shin invited him to attend the ball in the first place.

Despite knowing that he will be going to an upscale affair, he has not prepared himself in the slightest. After deliberating for a few minutes, Felix takes up his stovepipe hat and heads down the street as well. If he wants to impress you — potential future customers, he means — he should at least buy a new coat and cravat.

On the day of the highly anticipated ball, Felix rises before the sun. It’s an evening party, so he needn’t be up so early, but he cannot sleep. His body is tired and demands to rest, but his mind is buzzing. As such, he brews himself a cup of tea and begins searching through old design sketches to fix.  

Two redesigns and recalculations later, a gentle tap on the storefront’s window makes him look up. He has only had a half a cup of tea, so he is unsure if his eyes are truly working when he spots you standing outside. He isn’t even open for business yet. You cup the glass door and peer inside, presumably to see if he is awake yet. He blinks twice, and you are still there.

He walks over and unlocks the door, making you take a step back. When he sees you wearing in the purple walking dress you bought weeks ago, he feels disheveled in comparison. He pats down his uncombed hair. “Good morning, Miss L/N.”

“Good morning, Mr. Lee. I apologize for coming this hour, but it was urgent, and I wasn’t sure if there would be enough time if I came by later.”

Felix is wide awake now. “What is the matter?”

You hold out a bronze hatbox to him. “Do you remember the blooming rose headdress you made? Well, I was careless last night and accidentally dropped it. It’s broken, and I was planning to wear it tonight. Is there a chance it could be repaired by then?”

“May I…” He hovers his hand over the box, his fingers just a few centimeters above yours.

“Yes! Of course.”

Felix opens it, and to his relief, the damage is not as bad as he expects. There are a few petals askew, jamming the other flowers around it and causing the entire mechanical rose garden to stutter. The only other concern is the small grease stain on the silk ribbon, but that is a simple fix. He wonders where you dropped it. Certainly not on the ground since the damage seems to be minimal.

“I can repair it. Could you come back in a few hours? Around mid-morning?”

You sheepishly smile at him. “Would it be possible for you to give it to me at the party? I wasn’t actually given permission to leave the house today.”

It is then that Felix notices that, once again, you have no chaperone with you. Or does your carriage driver count as one, he flippantly thinks. It does not matter though. The sudden realization about the inappropriate situation makes him more shy.

He takes the box from you and steps back into the safety of his store. With the clear door threshold dividing the two of you, he feels much more at ease. You seem slightly saddened by this, but perhaps it is his wishful thinkings.

“Of course,” he says, trying to hide his reddening face by looking at the cobblestone pavement. “Where shall I wait for you?”

“By the fountain in the front gardens. I have to arrive at the Shin residence early, so it will likely be me waiting for you.”

Felix nods and takes one small step backwards. “I will see you tonight then, Miss L/N. Good day.”

“Good day, Mr. Lee. And thank you for your help.”

You walk back to your carriage and wave goodbye when you see that he is still standing by the door. He weakly waves back and scurries to his work table where he promptly sets the box down and whispers panicked mutterings to himself. He feels like he’s overheating.

He drinks the remainder of his tea to cool himself down before settling into his chair. He reaches for his tools and begins taking apart the mechanical flowers. It is a distraction from you but not a very good one.

When Mr. Han show up in an actual carriage in the evening, Felix’s nerves are not any better. He fumbled with the top buttons of his shirt while dressing, and it took him several attempts to tie his cravat correctly. Now, every bit of his body tremors as he steps inside the carriage.

“Well, don’t we look like dandies tonight?” Mr. Han remarks. He eyes the hatbox Felix has on his lap. “Did Miss Shin send it back?”

“Miss L/N needed an emergency repair,” Felix responds as he pretends to adjust his cravat, making it look worse than it did mere seconds ago. The evening air is warmer than he anticipated. “Are you excited?”

Mr. Han lets his poor attempt at steering the conversation away slide. “More or less. I would rather be at home, but parties can be fun.”

Felix is inclined to agree, though he is most excited and terrified at the prospect of seeing you again. The conversation devolves into silence as both gentlemen stare out the windows, observing the countryside at night. There is not a hint of light save for the moon and stars above. The wind blows in any direction uninterrupted, making the grass and wildflowers rustle.

It is a romantic picture.

Soon, the natural countryside begins to wane as they approach Shin residence, lit up in shades of blue with phosphorus lamps, comes into view. There is a line of carriages on the gravel path leading inside the estate. They are one of the last ones, and Felix is overwhelmed by guilt for being so late. How long did he make you wait? Mr. Han pokes his head out the window and mouths an exclamation at the sight.

“I don’t think I have seen or even heard of a debut ball of this size,” he says. “Well, she did that no expense would be spared.”

Felix, even more anxious about the party now, only nods in agreement. As their carriage nears the entrance, he scans the gardens for the designated meeting spot. There is a shadowy figure by the fountain, nearly hidden by the tall hedges. Although he cannot make out who it exactly is, it must be you.

When they finally reach the entrance, he opens the door and steps out with your hatbox tucked under your arm. He heads towards the fountain, the opposite from the main door of the house. The driver, the same one as last time, gives him a strange look but says nothing. Mr. Han seems to understand and says that he will see him inside.

Felix slows his pace, making sure that the few guests waiting to be let into the estate will be inside by the way he reaches you. There are curious glances in his direction, but they rapidly turn to the decorated main door as the line moves forward. Once there is no one left outside, he quickly strides over to the fountain. You are nowhere in sight, so he presumes that you are behind a hedge. Hopefully, you have not left.

“Miss L/N,” he softly calls, “are you here yet?”

Like he hopes, you walk out from behind a hedge, the hem of your dress showing up first. Felix has to suppress a gasp when you stop right in front of him. You are very close, and your evening gown and typical daywear are vastly different. Your bare shoulders, to put it mildly, are distracting.

“Hello, Mr. Lee. How are you tonight?”

“I am well, thank you.” It comes out a little strained, and to deflect from that, he holds out the hatbox. “Your headdress, as requested.”

“Thank you. The ball has started, so I should head back before they notice me missing.” You take it from him and hold it in your arms. “Shall we head in together?”

You really are brazen. As much as he would like to spend more time with you, he knows the social implications it has and the damage that will be done to your reputation. This very act of meeting you alone is illicit.

“I think I would like to wander the gardens some more,” he lies. He vaguely gestures at the plants. “They’re quite lovely.”

You give him a half smile. “They are. Ask me for a dance later, will you? I would very much like it. Until then. ”

Like nothing out of ordinary occurred, you merrily head back to the house, leaving Felix at a loss for words. He paces around the fountain and imagines the conversation over and over again. You were no doubt flirting with him. He is beyond delighted, but he has no idea what to do with this newfound development. He spent the last months admiring you from afar.

Ten minutes later, after he is certain that no one will connect your reappearance with his, he finds himself inside the bustling ballroom of the mansion. ‘No expense spared’ is correct.

There is a full orchestra playing on a raised section and a quadrille underway. He must have missed the first dance. The automaton waitstaff are conducting their own dance through the crowd as they distribute drinks and collect empty plates. The oceanic theme, so earnestly described by Miss Shin, has come to life with the blue tinted lighting and sea creature motifs decorating the walls. Felix notes that although there are many species of fish, the devil fish is not among them. Against the west wall leans the refreshment table, draped with scalloped tablecloth reminiscent of the waves. Just a few steps away, to Felix’s amazement, is an enormous aquarium filled with exotic fishes and elegant aquatic plants. He suspects that the conservatory might have loaned them for the night. However, he would not be surprised if the Shins had their own aquarium.

“There you are.” Mr. Han emerges from the crowd, relief clear on his face. “Miss Shin has been wondering where you were. I didn’t say anything about your… plans, but I may have given her the impression that you got lost on the grounds somehow.”

Mr. Han leads Felix to wherever Miss Shin is. In the meantime, Felix hopes that she just wants to introduce him to a few of her friends and not that her headdress needs to be fixed. Imagine how mortifying that would be.

“Mr. Lee! You’ve arrived!” she exclaims. The surrounding guests all immediately turn to get a look at him, and he feels embarrassment coloring his face. “Everyone, this is the gentleman who created this extraordinary octopus upon my head.”

Just like that, Felix is inundated with questions.

“How long did it take?”

“What excellent craftsmanship! Are you taking commissions now?”

“How much for a hat?”

Felix politely answers them all, half bewildered and half pleased by the attention. Mr. Han watches from the sidelines with a proud expression and gives Felix encouraging nods when no one is looking. Several minutes later, Felix has earned himself a slew of new potential customers, all who are more than willing to pay a visit to his shop the next time they are in town.

“It has been in perfect working order ever since I received it,” Miss Shin reports. She reaches up to adjust one of the metal tentacles coiled into her hair. “You won’t be disappointed.”

Felix relaxes when he hears the good news. “Thank you for compliments. Pardon my manners, but I do not think I have mentioned how wonderful the evening has been so far. Your ball is a true success.”

“Thank you,” she says, the ever gracious hostess. “Do enjoy the rest of the party.”

One of her court members adds, “And do be a gentleman and ask a certain Miss Y/N L/N for a dance.”

“Yuna! Don’t be so—”

Felix does not get to hear what Miss Shin says next since Mr. Han pulls him away to the refreshment table, far away from where they were. Thank goodness for his perceptiveness. Felix is only a few shades lighter than crimson.

He does intend to ask you to dance, but the question is when? You were not with the other court members by Miss Shin, and at a party this large, he is unsure if he will even be able to find you.

“Having fun so far?” Mr. Han asks as he plucks a cream and jam roll in the shape of a fish off a serving tray. “It seems like everyone knows about your fancies.”

Felix ignores the last sentence. “It’s a magnificent party. It really does feel like we are all in the depths of the ocean here. Are you enjoying yourself?”

“More or less. The food is divine.” He punctuates the remark by grabbing another roll. “If I were less refined, I might just filch the entire tray.”

By the way Mr. Han is marvelling over the selection, Felix does not put it past him. He is not in any place to judge though; he, too, is considering taking a few treats home to eat.

“Mr. Han! And Mr. Lee as well! Good evening.”

Felix does not have to turn around to know who it is. Mr. Han’s sly face gives it all away, and your voice has become all too familiar to him.

Mr. Han greets, “Miss L/N! How lovely you look tonight.”

In the darkness, Felix was not able to see you clearly. Under the phosphorus lights and gas lamps, you are radiant.

He first notices the gold roses, slowly blossoming and then slowly wilting, adorning your head. Then his eyes travel downward to the ribbon choker around your throat and to your shoulders. He quickly averts his eyes to the evening gown you wear — sage green with an understated floral pattern, which perfectly matches your headdress. The fan in your hand is closed shut, the golden handle appearing bronze under the lights. He cannot bring himself to look at your face; he can already imagine the pretty smile you have, and that alone is making him grow warm.

“I do believe that is Miss Choi!” Mr. Han interjects. “Pardon me, I must speak to her immediately.”

You and Felix bid him goodbye, leaving the two of you alone. You wait for him to greet you, speak, something, but nothing comes to mind. He steadily shifts his gaze upwards and tries to lessen his blush when he sees the corner of your mouth quirked up.

“Did they miss you?” he says, breaking the silence. “Miss Shin and the rest of the court, I mean.”

“I don’t think so, being a very busy night and all. I think they were more concerned about dancing.”

Which reminds him…

With as much confidence as he can muster, he holds out his right hand to you. “Would you like to dance, Miss L/N? I recall you requested one.”

You place your left hand in his and let him guide you to the middle of the dance floor. “I must confess, I only came to ask you if you were going to ask me to dance.”

“I would not have forgotten.”

“Are you certain?” you tease. “It seems like you only remembered when mentioned dancing.”

“Believe me, Miss L/N, I would never be able to forget such a bold request.”

He knows exactly where the surge of genuine confidence came from. The second he felt your fingers on his palm, something inside him lit up. Your touch made the moment so much more real, his wishings no longer daydreams.

The quadrille finishes, and the orchestra starts playing a waltz. Though he is stunned by the change — he had been anticipating walking and turning about you, not twirling you around — you are not. While you curtsy as a formal greeting before the dance, you deftly switch your fan to your left hand. Before he can bow in return, you hold his left hand and smile demurely at him.

“I have another confession to make Mr. Lee: I have been waiting to dance with you for the longest time now.”

He cautiously presses his hand to the small of your back, pulling you a bit closer than social customs allows. He can blame it on the crowded ballroom. He can feel your warmth through the fabric, and it occurs to him that you are in his arms just like in all those outdated fairy tales.

“If we are making confessions, then I suppose I have one as well,” he says.

He hears the expectant note in your voice. “And what is it?”

“I wanted to dance with you too.”

It’s a simple statement, but you grin from ear to ear, so bright the rest of the room seems dark in comparison. His heart flutters. When he twirls you around again, you lean your head back and sigh.

“You are marvellous dancer,” you remark as you sweep back your skirts to make more room for him. “Did you take lessons? Or do you just have a natural talent for it?”

“A bit of both. I took some about four years ago during my apprenticeship. I guess I still remember the basics.”

“No time for anymore now, I presume, with the amount of business you have been getting. Ever since I bought the butterfly headdress — do you remember that? It was ages ago, but it was the first one I bought from you.”

Felix remembers that day very well. He had opened his shop just half a year ago, and you and your chaperone stumbled in to wait out the rain. While you were captivated by the beating wings of a butterfly, he was awestruck by your gaiety on such a gloomy day. The silk flowers of your bonnet were drooping, your jacket damp from the incoming storm, and your face flushed from running, but your eyes held wonder and your lips a song.

You sang so much praise for the headdress that he went to bed that night hearing it in his sleep.

“Anyway,” you continue, “from the first time I came to your shop, I just knew you were talented. How long have you been working as a hatmaker? Your age and expertise don’t seem to match up. You are quite young compared to the other mechanical and automaton designers.”

“A year and a half now. I took over the business when my mentor retired. I do not think I am much older than you.”

You ponder over this for a while. “Forgive my forwardness and my lack of regard for etiquette — being friends with Ryujin for so long has its flaws — but are you courting anyone?”

Felix stops breathing for a few seconds. “I am not. Why?”

“Just check— just curious. Well, perhaps you will find someone that interests you here. You could ask someone to dance and talk to them to see if they catch your fancy.” Your expression is innocent, but your words are laced with whimsy.

“Who do you think would be a good match for me?” he asks, playing along. “Surely you know a few of the guests here.”

You pretend to think it over, pursing your lips together in concentration. Felix thickly swallows and glances at the space between your brows instead. His heartbeat is even more erratic than before.

“I don’t like to gossip, but I did hear a rumor that a young lady on the debutante’s court is interested in being courted soon. Her coming-out will be happening this season.”

“Ah, interesting,” he replies in an overly thoughtful manner. “If only I could receive an invite to the event. I am afraid that I am rather unfamiliar with most of the people here.”

“I think I can help with that,” you say. “I will speak to her about it. I’m sure she would love for you to attend.”

He tries to keep an air of nonchalance but fails when he spots your lips twitching into a smile. “Thank you, Miss L/N. I greatly appreciate it.”

Like the scene has been rehearsed before, the waltz ends then. Felix shallowly dips you like the dance dictates and helps right you back up. In doing so, you wind up far closer to him than you were before. You are pressed up against his chest, and he can hear your breaths. With the bubble of intimacy gone and the reality of the situation settling in, Felix hurries backwards, confidence dissipating.

He is not alone though. You snap your fan open, drawing it across your cheeks and concealing your face. He does not think he has seen you this flustered before.

“Thank you for the dance,” you tell him behind the painted screen. “You were a wonderful partner.”

“You were as well.”

The two of you walk to the sidelines together, an appropriate distance apart. He glances over to you occasionally and notes that your usual cool composure has not returned yet. Before Felix can continue the conversation, the excitable young lady — Miss Yuna Whatever-Her-Surname-Is — emerges from the crowd and rushes to you.

“Y/N! Do tell us about it!” she exclaims, forgetting that Felix is right there. She sidles up to you, holds your arm, and waits expectantly for the details.

You duck a little lower behind your fan and hiss, “Yuna!”

“Good night, Miss L/N,” Felix says. “It was a pleasure to dance with you.”

He makes himself scarce but not before he overhears you laugh and sigh, “Yuna Shin, don’t ever do that again. But yes, it was all very lovely.” He swells with joy.

The orchestra has started another waltz, one that is uplifting and bright. Felix hums along to it as he heads to the refreshment table. Almost unsurprisingly, Mr. Han is still there as well with a miniature trifle in hand. The dessert looks unappetizing to Felix with its blue layers, but Mr. Han is enjoying it.

“You don’t like dancing?” Felix says as he inspects the table for a drink.

“The contrary. This is just replenishment for the night.” He spoons another bite into his mouth. “And all the ladies seem to be on the dance floor anyway.”

Felix finds a cup of punch and drinks it heartily. He has never attended a debut ball before, so he is not sure of what there is to do other than dance and mill around. He spends some time observing the creatures in the aquarium nearby. There is unfortunately not an octopus in the glass tanks, leading him to believe that this is the Shins’ own aquarium.

He returns back to Mr. Han, and the two spy a few of their creations in the crowd. They all seem to be garnering attention from other guests, which bodes well for their financial future. Mr. Han, who is much more knowledgeable about who is who, updates him on the latest news regarding each of the guests. Felix nods along, only partially paying attention to his words as he watches couples dance at the same time.

As much fun as it is to be an observer though, it gets dull quickly when Felix realizes how much he would rather be home than here. He has no idea where you currently are, but it would be impolite for him to monopolize your time with another dance. Not to mention, it would stir rumors, and he wants no part in them.

“Would it be rude to leave now?” he rhetorically asks.

Mr. Han ponders over this. “Considering it has only been an hour, I think so, but let’s leave anyway.” He picks up a napkin and starts surreptitiously piling rolls and tarts inside. “Keep watch for me.”

Felix complies by standing right in front of the napkin and thus obstructing the view from the rest of the room. “You just said it would be rude.”

“I have to open early tomorrow, and so do you. New commissions to work on and all that.”

The people in his life, Felix notes, have a tendency to disregard social customs. However, he does not mind in this case or your case. Mr. Han filches a few more desserts at the behest of Felix, and the two wait for Miss Shin to finish her waltz to say goodbye.

“So early? The ball has just begun! And what if a problem arises?”

Felix gives this comment pause, but Mr. Han bats it away as if it were merely a pesky bug. “Miss Shin, I assure you that all of my — and Mr. Lee’s as well — are in perfect working order. When has anything I made for you been otherwise?”

While the two of them discuss this, Felix stands by and adds whatever he can. Both Mr. Han and Miss Shin are quick with their replies, and there is hardly a break in between. However, Miss Shin eventually concedes after learning of the new work they have to start.

“Very well. Thank you for attending” — she taps one of the brass tentacles on her skirt with her matching fan — “and for this beautiful evening gown. And thank you for the wonderful headdress, Mr. Lee.”

“It was our pleasure,” Felix answers. “Good night, Miss Shin.”

Felix and Mr. Han make their way to the exit, sidestepping the people lingering around the windows. Felix glances around to find you. He wants to give you a proper goodbye, but you are nowhere to be seen. There are no gold roses in the sea of people. He resigns to his predicament and hopes that you will not be too disappointed that he danced and left.

The area outside the mansion, swarming with exhilarated guests not too long ago, is empty. The blue lamps illuminating the cobblestone path seem forlorn instead of lively, and the silence only emphasizes the feeling.

“I’ll get the carriage,” Mr. Han offers, already heading in that direction. “Just wait here.”

Felix sits on the last step of the stairs and listens to the crickets in the bushes. The moon is higher in the sky now, and the wind from earlier has died down to a breeze. He sighs and loosens his cravat leans backwards on his forearms, enjoying the cool air on his face. It is a pleasant contrast to the party inside.

“You could have said goodbye at least.”

When he turns around, fumbling about and trying to make himself presentable again, you are standing a few steps above him. You said the words jokingly, but he hears the hurt underneath.

“I apologize,” he whispers. The darkness hides his guilt well. “I couldn’t find you.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Not one for parties, I take it?”

“I only came to talk and dance with you,” he admits, growing more embarrassed by the second. “If things were different, I would stay all night, but once I used my chance, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“We could have still chatted after.” You walk down to his step and sit beside him, the silk of your gown brushing against his leg. The only thing separating the two of you is your wide skirt. You place your hand only a few centimeters away from his on the steps. “I know I was acting a bit silly earlier, so I want to ask you outright. Forgive my forwardness, but do you intend to court me, or am I just seeing things that are not there?”

Felix goes still. He had not thought about his feelings that way. He certainly likes you, but a courtship never even crossed his mind because of how far up the social ladder you were. He wanted to catch your eye, but he never thought you would pay genuine attention back to him.

“Because if you do,” you continue after he says nothing, “I want to be courted seriously. If you are merely teasing me, then tell me now.”

“Miss L/N, are you teasing me now? I am no one important, yet you pursue me.”

“I am not teasing, I swear,” you solemnly say, looking directly into his eyes. “I will not play with your heart like that. And to me, you are important. Never mind the wonderful things you have made for me, I like you. You and how industrious you are, how assured you are in yourself, how you play along with my jokes for my sake. You are nothing like all the rakes and fops around me.”

He can hardly believe his ears. After a tense silence, he says, “If you will let me, I will court you seriously.”

“Mr. Lee, I have always allowed it. Every joke, every smile — it was an invitation for you.” He glances over at you in shock, and you halfheartedly smile at him. “Perhaps I was not clear enough about my advances.”

“No. I was simply too afraid to act upon them. I did not realize your intentions were pure.”

“I assure you, Mr. Lee, you were the only gentleman I flirted with.”

The nearby sound of a horse trotting interrupts the moment. Felix glances down to where the stables are and spies a silhouetted carriage approaching. Mr. Han was quick with his task, and Felix wishes he had been less so.

Having seen the same thing, you stand up and fluff out your skirt, preparing to go back inside. The silk ripples in waves, and Felix stares in fascination. You catch him in the act and flash him a knowing smile. “Good night. I hope to see you soon.”

Felix bashfully replies, “Good night.”

You give him one last look and hurry away before company arrives. Your head bobs up and down as you take the stairs two by two, and Felix watches you disappear into the mansion. He is still staring at the door when the carriage drives up.

“Mr. Lee!”

“Coming!”

The journey back to the city is mostly silent since Mr. Han seems worn out by the night’s events already. Felix does not try to engage him in conversation, choosing instead to sink into the velvet seat and to admire the sky. If he looks at it long enough, he thinks he can see your face among the constellations.

The following days, all Felix hears about in the sparse amount of time he interacts with customers — his shop has been mostly devoid of hats and headdresses ever since Miss Shin introduced him to all her friends — is Miss Shin’s debut. Every piece of gossip he overhears while out revolves around it and the other upcoming debut balls in the season. On one of his outings to the market, your name is mentioned, and he stops in his tracks. He pretends to check his pocket watch and turns it over and over in his hands as if he has found a new scuff mark on the brass.

“I heard she sent out the invites already,” says the young lady with a pink bonnet. “Did you get one?”

“Of course! But Tzuyu Chou’s ball is on the same night, so which one do I go to?”

“Both, silly! Just leave one of them early and—”

Once the topic changes, Felix quits his act and continues onward to the market. He has not received an invitation to your ball yet, and surely that was what you were alluding to during the waltz. Perhaps you are going to hand-deliver it yourself. That is all he can hope for because the other reason is that you have changed your mind about him.

When he returns to his shop with new bronze sheets and copper wiring, he is disappointed. You are not waiting outside nor is there an envelope tucked underneath his door. Felix brews himself a cup of tea and settles at his work table chair. He pulls out his sketches for a hat decorated with swimming fish and starts on its construction. All he can do now is wait.

After several days and far too much time spent agonizing over the issue, you finally grace Felix’s shop with your presence. When the bell on the door chimes and he sees you at the threshold, he nearly leaps out from behind the counter, shoving away his tools in a weak attempt to appear well put together. He wipes a spot of grease from his brow with the back of his hand and bows at you in greeting.

“Welcome. How may I be of service?”

“Are you accepting custom orders right now?” you ask, walking closer to him. Your chaperone follows closely behind to ensure that you are not about to blatantly flirt with him again, though Felix has a sneaking feeling that you will anyway. “I heard you might be busy. It seems like everyone wants a hat from you now.”

“What did you have in mind?”

You glance at the current project is working on. “Actually, that one seems interesting. Or is it someone else’s?”

The clockwork hat is indeed someone else’s, Miss Lia Choi, to be precise. “It is.”

“Ah, I see.” You do not look the slightest bit dejected at the news. “Well, I think something with butterflies would be lovely. I have lots of good memories involving them, so I want them to be part of my debut ball.”

Felix cannot get a single sound out, so he elects to duck back behind the counter. He picks up his pencil and rolls out another sheet of butcher paper. The blank canvas stares back at him, and he hastily sketches the form of the headdress like he wants to show you an idea he has in mind. He has nothing in his mind. He cannot think after a statement like that. He puts the pencil down.

“I can have a rough draft of the headdress done in a few days,” he says. “Or do you have a design planned out?”

“Perhaps something like this?” You take the pencil from the counter, your fingers brushing against his in a manner that is not accidental.

While Felix does his best to maintain his composure in front of your chaperone — she seems to not have noticed your gesture, thankfully — you draw a cluster of butterflies on the side of the headdress and small flowers to fill in the gaps. You mindlessly hum a melody as you sketch, and it sounds awfully similar to a waltz he danced to sometime ago.

You push the paper towards him. “Here.”

He glances over it, lightly touching the lines and curves with his finger. It is a pretty design and very extravagant. He will likely have to make some adjustments so you can actually wear it without injuring your neck, but it is possible to make it into a reality. “I will get to work on it soon. When do you need it by?”

“As soon as possible.” You open your reticule and set down a sheaf of banknotes so large, Felix cannot see your hand at all. “I know you have a long line of customers, so I will pay double the regular price for it to be finished in two weeks’ time.”

He would have done it without the monetary incentive anyway. Nonetheless, he nods and assures you that it will be done by then. You audibly sigh and thank him in advance for his timeliness.

“Is that all for today?” he asks. He wants you to say no, to make up an excuse to stay.

To his disappointment and seemingly to your own as well, you reply, “Yes. I’ve got a busy day ahead of myself. Well, good day. It is always a pleasure coming to your shop.”

“Good day.”

He watches you leave. You do not turn around to give him one last look like he anticipates. Your chaperone is keeping a careful eye on you and your antics, and she is following close behind as you out the door anyway. However, you do smile at him through the window. Even though you will not be able to see it, he returns it.

Once you are out of view, he collects the banknotes on the counter to put away. As he does so, he notices a corner of an envelope peeking out from the pile.

Mr. Felix Lee, it says across the front in black ink.

Could this be the invitation he has been waiting so long for? He does not know what else it could be, but he is still nervous. With trembling fingers, he breaks open the glossy red seal and takes out the stiff cardstock inside.

You have been cordially invited to Miss Y/N L/N’s debut.

He laughs, one mixed with relief and pure joy, and it echoes throughout the shop. The sound bounces off the empty walls like a never-ending symphony of happiness.

Once the euphoria has waned a bit, he sets his previous project and begins refining your sketch. He traces over your butterfly wings, adding more dimension and adjusting angles as he does so. He can already see it coming to life, the wings beating in harmony to the music, the delicate twitches of the antennae as you move your head.

To think that you will be wearing this at your coming-out and that he will be there to see it. Though it is an inside joke between the two of you, it might as well be a public declaration of courtship to him.

He works on your headdress almost feverishly, neglecting his other projects for as long as he can afford. When Mr. Han comes by for tea and a chat a few days later — they have become friends after Miss Shin’s ball — Felix is frantically soldering the minute hand onto one of the many tiny clocks on this hat.

“Do you want any help?” Mr. Han asks, popping the last bite of his biscuit into his mouth. “I do have experience with metalworking, you know.”

“I’m alright,” he mutters. The client is supposed to be arriving within the hour, and he cannot imagine how damaged his reputation will be if someone else other than himself is found working on the hat. He shudders as he pictures the suspicion on his customers’ faces. “Sorry for not being better company.”

“Don’t fret. I only came because I had news regarding Miss L/N.”

Felix nearly misplaces the minute hand in his surprise. He feigns nonchalance at Mr. Han’s statement. “Oh?”

“Do you know Lord Seungmin Kim? Apparently, he is interested in courting her. I overheard someone say that he is to be her partner for the first dance.”

Felix says nothing, just grips his tool tighter and intently stares at the tiny Roman numerals in front of him. He did not expect to be chosen for the honor of the first dance, but it does not mean his pride goes unhurt. Lord Kim, a nobleman with wealth and connections, is well above him in terms of social status.

“That’s… that’s impressive,” he says.

“Yes, and I also heard that she does not want him to be her partner. Something about another gentleman in mind.”

Mr. Han looks pointedly at Felix, who pointedly pretends not to notice it. He affixes the hand to the remaining clock and checks everything once more for any careless errors. His heart thumps in his chest, twice the speed of the soft tick-tocking of the miniature clocks. If he is the alleged gentleman you have in mind, then the first dance would truly be a public declaration.

“Have you been invited?” Mr. Han asks, though it seems as if he already knows the answer.

“Yes. What about you?”

“No.”

As far as he can tell, there are no flaws with the hat, so he puts his tools away. “You seem content with that,” he remarks as he rummages around in his cabinets for an empty hatbox.

“Of course! I will only miss the food, so do filch some for me. I did it at Miss Shin’s.”

Felix makes a noise in acknowledgment. The gears in his head are working overtime as he plots out what your debut will be like. You and him, in each other’s arms, in front of everyone. What will they say? What will he do afterwards?

The sound of a ringing bell interrupts his thoughts, and in flies Miss Choi, another member of Miss Shin’s court and a friend of yours.

“Is it ready? Please tell me it is! I have been waiting all day for it!” she says, breathless from her bursting in. She spies it sitting on the counter and immediately sets it on her head. “It’s lovely! And not heavy at all.”

“Good afternoon, Miss Choi,” the two men chorus.

“Oh, yes. Good afternoon. I didn’t know you two knew each other this well,” she distractedly says. She turns to Felix, her hand reaching for her reticule. “I paid for this already, right?”

He nods. “Last week.”

“Perfect. Oh, goodness” — she glances at the wall-mounted clock behind Felix — “Y/N will be cross with me for being late. I will see you at the ball then, Mr. Lee. Thank you again. Goodbye!”

She leaves in the same frenzied manner as she came, and her worn out chaperone hurries after her.

“That was a confirmation if I ever heard one. She must know the details.”

“That was nothing.” Yet he desperately hopes that it was something.

“You keep pretending that as if no one knows of you and Miss L/N’s relationship. Everyone knows she fancies you, and you her, so there is no need to keep putting up this act.” Mr. Han sighs and crumples up his paper napkin. “I ought to get back to work now. Thank you for the tea.”

“Thank you for the company. Good day, Mr. Han.”

Mr. Han stands up from his seat, throwing his coat back, and heads for the door. “Good day. Do not forget about the food.”

Felix rolls his eyes, but a small smile forces its way onto his face anyway. “I won’t.”

Possibly the most important day of Felix’s day has arrived. He adjusts his cuffs, his cravat, his shirt — everything really —  mindlessly as he waits for the time to tick down. He is restless. His usually nimble fingers turn clumsy when he tries to work on a hat for a client, and he cannot focus on anything. He has not seen you since you dropped off the invitation all those days ago. Your chaperone came to pick up your headdress, and she gave him a cool onceover before advising that he come to the ball a tad earlier.

As such, he locks up his shop two hours before the starting time and makes the walk to the banquet hall where your debut is being held. He could have rented a carriage like Mr. Han did for that seemingly long ago ball, but the hall is not too far away. Being dressed in finery, he receives curious looks from passersby and more batting eyelashes from young girls than he likes.

By the time he arrives at the hall, dusk is darkening into night. The gas lamps on the streets have lit up. He is a little more than half an hour early, which is hopefully sufficient for whatever reason why he was suggested to do so. There are no signs of guests, and stricken by the fact that he has no idea what to do, Felix idles around the entrance. He cannot just barge in; that would be rude. He incessantly checks his pocket watch for the time, wishing that someone would come and save him for this predicament.

Fortunately, his wishes are soon answered. The main doors open, and out steps you in all of your radiance. Your eyes meet his, and all he can do is gaze at you.

Your dress is reminiscent of what you wore at Miss Shin’s debut: a green evening gown dotted with tiny pink blossoms, and gold trim around the shoulders that complements the gilded butterflies that swarm around your head. Green and gold appear to be your signature colors, and you wear them well. Even the lighting seems to be in your favor; warm light spills behind you, highlighting the wisps of your hair.

“Oh, Mr. Lee! I was just coming out to see if you were here yet. Fei said she told you to come early.”

He thickly swallows before greeting, “Good evening, Miss L/N. You look… stunning.”

“Thank you. You look very handsome yourself. Do come in. I have something to discuss with you.”

He follows you to the main hall where the ball is to be held. The entire room is decorated like a greenhouse with vines tumbling down the walls and perfumed flowers on every surface. It is bright inside, as if the banquet hall has been bathed in sunlight. Stationary butterflies hang down from the ceiling, while steel dragonflies are strung like lights across the room. Your court members and some chaperones linger around the refreshment table, no doubt taste testing the morsels you have decided upon. Felix spots a tray of small tea cakes in the shape of leaves and makes a mental note to take a few for Mr. Han.

Upon seeing the two of you walking nearby each other, Miss Wang, your usual chaperone, lets out a theatrical gasp. “Miss L/N! Why did you not ask me to accompany you? You should know better. And on this day as well!”

“Miss Wang, no one is fooled by you. Besides, if it were to be on any day, today is the best choice,” interjects Miss Ryujin Shin, who holds a cup of punch in her hand. “After all, this is the gentleman she desires to court anyway.”

The other chaperones do not seem shocked by this revelation, presumably because they all knew already. Miss Choi and Miss Yuna Shin even clink their glasses against Miss Ryujin Shin’s in a mock toast.

“Ryujin’s right,” you agree. You turn your attention to Felix, and the room goes quiet. “I thought it would be best to ask you in person, and I know I don’t give you much time to think about it, but will you be my partner for the first dance? I meant to ask you the last time I visited, but there were a few things that had to be sorted out before I could.”

The orchestra begins rehearsing then, and the triumphant music perfectly matches how he feels. “I would be honored.”

The ball begins precisely at the hour, but guests begin allowing themselves inside a few minutes before. While you flitter about, greeting guests of importance and smiling at compliments, Felix mills around the sidelines in anticipation of the dance. He recognizes some of his customers, a couple of which say hello and show off the hats and headdresses he has designed for them. He politely engages in conversation with them before looking back at you. He does not know when the dance will begin, and he wants to be prepared for the moment.

Once he is alone again, you approach him with a secretive smile. “Are you ready?”

“Yes. Are you?”

“Of course. Let the ball begin.”

He holds out his hand for you, and you lead him to the center of the dance floor. The crowd takes note of this, and their chatter dies down to murmurs. Felix overhears some of the whispers, most of which are confused questions of who exactly he is, where Lord Kim is, and why you have selected him of all people. They take in his second-rate coat and the way you gaze at him in wonder. It has to be a jest, someone nearby mumbles.

However, you are unfazed by it all. You look over to the orchestra and give them a slight nod. They stop their light, airy opening number and begin a waltz piece. The butterfly wings of your headdress beat at the same tempo, and he suppresses a chuckle at the sight.

This time, Felix holds you at a respectable distance away, not wanting to exacerbate the growing rumors. More couples join in on the floor, but most of the attention is focused on the two of you.

“Everyone is watching,” he whispers as he twirls you around.

“I am the debutante,” you reply. “And it is only natural people stare at such a handsome gentleman.”

You flirt even more shamelessly than before, not even bothering to hide your flattery behind sly words. He has still not gotten used to it, which means his burning red ears are on display for everyone. Still, he smiles. “You will be alright with this when we court?”

“Of course. Will you?”

“Of course,” he repeats. “And will you be alright with your beau being more attractive than you?”

He has never teased you before, and you laugh at his overly serious demeanor as he says it. “Mr. Lee! Well, how could I be upset with having such a striking beau, especially one with charms like yours.”

He twirls you around again and pulls you a fraction closer. “I suppose this is as good as a time as any to ask: will you, Miss L/N, allow me to court you officially?”

You completely close the gap, earning several gasps from onlookers and Felix himself as your chest presses against his. With a wide grin on your face, you say, “Mr. Lee, I will.”

It is all anyone can talk about the following day: Miss Y/N L/N of a wealthy, upper class family is set to be courted by Mr. Felix Lee, the popular mechanical hatmaker. Through the shop window, Felix can see passersby trying to get a glimpse of him inside as he works. He has to close his store for the day because of the sheer amount of people visiting and treating him like an animal at an aquarium.

By the time the sun sets, less and less people pass by. By the time the gas lamps light up the street, your carriage drives up the street and stops in front of the store. You step out in a cornflower blue gown and knock on the door. Felix has been ready for you for hours now.

“Hello, Mr. Lee,” you greet. Your excitement is palpable as you say, “Shall we go on our first walk together?”

“Good evening, Miss L/N. And to you as well, Miss Wang.”

Your chaperone follows behind the two of you, ensuring that the two of you — well, mostly you — will be proper.

“Where shall we go? Around the block for tonight?” he suggests.

“My dear Mr. Lee, I will go anywhere you wish.”

Miss Wang halfheartedly reprimands you for the term of endearment, but Felix does not mind. You share a glance with him, and he already knows you will be calling him ‘dear’ until the end of time.

He could get used to that.

~ ad.gray

[kenmasgameboy]

chapter 19: i’m about to drop a massive load

previous…next

masterlist

kuroo tetsurou came into y/n’s life when she needed him to fuck it up the most.

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[1:58 PM]

Finally feeling the soft warmth of your PE clothes, with Kuroo’s large blazer hanging on your shoulders for extra protection, you bravely took the long walk of shame to the vice principals office. Your hair was half dried, and your hands and knees were covered in bandages. Your face was also still swollen. You were sure you probably looked like a nightmare. You played with your hands while you walked, trying to avoid the stares from the kids in the classes you walk past in the hallway. 

Of course you had to walk past Kuroo’s classroom. You cursed the architects who put the principals offices at the hallway that made you cross through here. His classmates didn’t even try to hide their whispers either as you walked past. You kept your head down, fiddling with your fingers that were still sore and stiff from the scabs. 

“Can I use the restroom?” Your shoulders stiffed as you heard Kuroo’s voice. 

“There’s less than an hour left in class, can you hold it?” 

“No, sir. I’m about to drop a massive load.”

“Y/N.” Kuroo was in the hallway now, just a few paces behind you. You were stopped in between classrooms. His voice was gentle now, low enough to not be heard in the classrooms.

“Wait.” You paused, not turning around. You couldn’t look at him, and if you walked in front of the other classes it would be talked about. But mainly it was embarrassing to look at him. “I’ll go first. Then.. at the end of the hall.”

Kuroo nodded, even though you couldn’t see him. He understood you didn’t want to make anyone more suspicious. He stayed where he was, like a little puppy wagging his tail. He got to watch you walk down the hallway to the end then continued down the path to reach your side.

Kuroo nodded, even though you couldn’t see him. He stayed where he was, like a little puppy wagging his tail. He got to watch you walk down the hallway to the end then continued down the path to reach your side.

“What are you doing leaving class? That’s going to look so suspicious.” You hit his bicep.

“I don’t care, I needed to know if you’re okay.” Kuroo said, his eyes were so full of care it embarrassed you. How could you ever look him in the eyes again. Your lack of eye contact with him made Kuroo feel nervous, “Are you mad at me?”

“Huh?” You looked up at him, surprised at the question, “No?”

“Why did you sound so unsure? It’s okay if you are, a lot happened to you today because of me.” He said, trying his best to keep his distance from you.

“I don’t blame you for that... I blame those girls. You’re the reason I was able to get out okay. I’m.. I’m really glad you came there.” You sighed, feeling guilty. You bowed to him, “I’m sorry.”

“What? Why are you apologizing?” Kuroo checked the halls to double check you were alone.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was happening. I felt confused, and I keep causing more trouble and worry for you. You’ve done nothing but be honest with me recently and I didn’t return that favor.” You said, raising your head a little to see Kuroo smiling.

“You don’t need to apologize. It’s honestly fair after what I did. Plus, you would’ve been able to get yourself out of that situation on your own. I just helped you because I like you. So no more keeping things from each other, yeah? As glad as I am that you can trust me to help you fix things now, it always ends up worse if you don’t tell me whats going on. And I promise to do tell you everything too.” Kuroo reached for the fabric of his blazer over your shoulders, adjusting it tighter around you. Inside he felt like breaking down again and catching his cool. He offers his pinky finger. “Promise?”

“Promise.” You responded, wrapping your smaller finger around his larger one. His pinky finger was like the size of your index finger. You smiled at the difference and found yourself not releasing it.

“You’re cute.” He breathed out the compliment, it shocked you back to reality. You retracted your pinky quickly, adjusting your hair.

“Huh? Y–You.. Uh.. did you mean...um..?” You shyly held your finger. How could Kuroo look so confident right now? You were about to ask such an awkward question. “D-did you mean that thing you said?”

“Which thing?” He innocently asked, inching closer. His fingers recapturing yours, playing with the tips of your fingers. You could see through his innocent act, it made you annoyed that he was making fun of you right now.

“That I’m... you know... your... do I have to say it? You know what I’m going to say.” You stared down at your shoes, somehow you’d ended up backing up against the hallway wall. Kuroo was a few inches from you again.

“How can I answer a question if you haven’t asked it?” He smirked, knowing he had you where he wanted you. He knew he was being evil, but he really couldn’t help it. Seeing you like this made him too happy, it was the moments that gave him hope you felt the same way as he did. His inner self wanting to scream at your cute reactions. You were pouting, but your hands were sweaty with nervous.

“That I’m your g–girlfriend?” You finally asked it, looking down at the floor. Your voice getting softer with every word.

Then Kuroo’s hand held your chin up, he leaned down to speak directly into your ear: “Do you want me to mean it?” 

Goosebumps trickled down your spine causing your shoulders to wiggle and you smacked a hand over your ear. Turning to look over your right shoulder to avoid looking at him.

“I–I don’t know.” You blatantly lied. And you felt bad about it afterward, you wanted to say yes, but you couldn’t yet. You weren’t ready.

“That’s okay. I didn’t expect you to answer that honestly..” Kuroo moved to lean against the wall on your right to be in your vision,“I do want to be your boyfriend. But I’ll wait to ask you properly before we can consider it official.” 

“What do you mean by that?” You finally made eye contact with him. He stuck his feet out further to lower his torso to your level. His large shoulder only a static shock away from yours.  

“What I mean is: I like you, Y/N. A lot. And I really do want you to be my girlfriend and I do want to shout it out to the world. But not when I didn’t consult you and have your explicit permission first. I want you to want me, too. But don’t worry, I’ll continue to be your boyfriend at school, for body guard purposes, of course.” He smirked, “Just until you tell me you’re decision. I’ll wait until we’re both ready.”

Kuroo waited for your reaction, when there wasn’t much of one he shrugged it off. He stood up straight in front of you, sighing he got off the wall. He shoved his hands into his pockets to prepare to go back to his class, “But don’t think I’ll wait quietly–”

Before he started talking again, for just a moment you got scared he was going to leave you. You wanted him to know that just because you didn’t respond that didn’t mean you weren’t listening. You reached out to grab his sleeve instinctively.

“Ah! Sorry.” You sheepishly scratched the back of your head with your free hand, “Do you– I should give your blazer back. It’s cold, I–”

“Even more reason for you to keep it for now. I can’t bodyguard you if you have a cold. Give it back to me later... when I walk you home.” Kuroo said, his smile radiant in the hallway. It’s been too long, you knew you had to go to the office but when he stood there looking like that you couldn’t help but want to stay where you were.

He’s beautiful.

The windows behind Tetsurou poured in the late afternoon sun. His silhouette being outlined by beautiful golden light. His hair looked so soft, you really wanted to touch it and hold his cheeks in your hands. The sunlight reflecting as little amber specks in his eyes.

“Yeah?” Kuroo snapped you out of your daydream. You forgot you were still hanging onto his sleeve.

“Don’t go back yet...” You whispered, pulling on his sleeve again. He liked how you showed what you wanted to say. Looking at your embarrassed expression put a serious strain on his heart. “I, um, think I need a body guard to go to the vice principals office.” 

Kuroo took your hand off his sleeve and held it in his own, fitting his large fingers in the crevices of yours. He began guiding you to the office, looking over his shoulder at you, “Allow me.”

Your hands sat sweaty and cold in contrast to his warmth and firm grip. It felt comforting, never once when he touched you did it feel uncomfortable or creepy.

“What are your plans this weekend?” Kuroo cleared his throat to ask, a hint of pink dusting across the tops of his cheekbones.

“Studying, why?” You asked, both of you weren’t looking at each other.

“Can I take you on a.. on a date this weekend?” Kuroo asked as strong as he possibly could. He looked to you for your answer.

You nodded a slow but sure yes, Tetsurou smiled again. Savoring the memory of seeing you hiding a smile from him. A long breath was released from his nose as if he had been holding onto it this whole time.

He squeezed your hand tight, you squeezed back.

He may not be officially yours, but every moment you spend with him he feels more and more permanent in your life.

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+ to be added please send an ASK.

god i hope this makes sense i wrote this at 6am last night omfg pls give me validation, ALSO this is NOT the last chapter we arent’ there yet dont get it twisted pls there will be a few more

[farfromharry]

always | harry holland full series

summary: harry helps your through one of the most challenging times in your life and you couldn’t be more grateful. only for this whole experience to make you realise you were in love with him, but now you had more than just yourself to think about.

word count - 28k

(read individual chapters!)

“I have to go home Harry.” you giggled, trying to pull him towards the door of the house party you were in. He sighed, resting his head on top of yours, swaying you both slowly to the loud, booming music playing in the background. your phone buzzed again in your hand, the vibration alerting you of another text from Nate, and another one that you were going to blatantly ignore.

“ ‘m gonna miss you.” he drunkenly slurred, a giggled bubbling in your throat. you rolled your eyes, practically holding him up.

“Come on, I'm literally taking you home silly.” you had decided on being the designated driver for the night hours ago, right after seeing how harry downed his drink when you got here. you hadn’t particularly felt great all week but harry was so excited about this party, more so that it was for his brothers amazing performance in Spiderman: far from home, and you couldn’t possibly turn down his offer, wanting to support Tom at the same time.

“Do you need some help?” you looked up and made eye contact with Harrison.

“Yes please.” you whined.

With the help of a slightly tipsy Harrison you managed to get Harry into your car, ignoring the now, almost consistent and highly irritating, buzz of your phone. Harry slumped into the passenger seat when you let go of him, laying his head on the window and quickly passing out.

“what am i going to do with you?” you laughed to yourself, looking at your best friend drool on himself like a baby, you clipped his seatbelt into place and closed the door, getting in the driver’s side with a heavy sigh. driving to the large house that the group of lads lived in was a routine for you at this point, you were there with them more often than you were at your own home. This time around though, the short drive was filled with random muttered sentences falling from Harry's mouth every so often, mumbled under his breath in his heavy sleep.

After pulling up outside the house you mentally debated what the best way to get Harry from the car to his bed would be considering he wasn’t going to help. Eventually settling on just having to guide him there with a struggle.

“okay, come on mister, let’s get you to bed.” you hoisted him up out of the car, stumbling slightly as you did so, draping his arm around your shoulder as you led him up to his front door. you unlocked it with your spare key, with much difficulty, and hauled him inside.

“who knew you were this heavy?” you asked rhetorically, closing the door behind you with your foot.

“what are you doing?” you looked up and spotted Sam sitting with his girlfriend in the living room, you smiled sheepishly, ready to apologise for the interruption.

“he’s really drunk, and also really heavy, please help me.” you pouted, your knees basically buckling under Harry’s weight. Sam took pity seeing the drunken Harry cling to you, practically putting all his weight on you, something he knew from experience wasn’t easy to deal with.

Sam wrapped his twin's arm around his shoulder, shooting a quick apology to Elysia, who brushed it off with an amused laugh. 

Sam almost easily helped Harry upstairs, saving you the task of changing him into comfier clothes by doing it himself. leaving you to laugh in the corner at how difficult Harry was making it for his brother. when he was finally done he let out an exhausted sigh, throwing his dirty clothes in the corner of the room.

“thank you for your help.” Sam nodded, leaving you with a quiet ‘good luck.’ you looked at Harry with a sigh, pulling the covers of his bed over him and brushing your hand over his hair.

“y/n?” he slurred, blinking his eyes open just a little.

“hi, what’s up?” he smiled sleepily at you.

“thank you.” you giggled, looking at his half closed pretty eyes.

“of course.” you stroked his hair for a little bit longer than probably needed, making sure he was okay and didn’t need to be sick at all. He watched you the whole time with a lazy smile, nuzzling his head further into your loving touch.

“get some sleep, your heads gonna hurt in the morning.” before you left you made sure to get some painkillers and a glass of water. you placed them on his bedside table, kissing his head, making sure he was okay and asleep before you finally left.

The drive back to your flat was even quieter than the drive to Harry's home, no more drunken jokes from the passenger seat that made you laugh.

Even after pulling up outside your home you still waited in your car, not yet prepared to face your, no doubt, angry boyfriend inside.

After around 10 minutes of putting it off, you took a deep breath, climbing out of your car and heading into your building, greeting the receptionist on your way in. The lift ride up was long and filled with different scenarios of how this night could end, all of them overthought and turning out negatively. You hadn’t even started unlocking the door when it swung open, startling you.

“where the fuck have you been?” Nate yelled before you even stepped through the front door. you flushed in embarrassment at the idea of your neighbours hearing or seeing, shoving past him to make it inside.

“I told you, I was at Tom's party.” he scoffed, throwing his hands in the air dramatically.

“that was hours ago y/n!” you flinched at the loudness of his tone, wishing he would quieten down a bit. “where were you when i started texting you, huh?” 

“I was making sure my best friend got home safe, because he was drunk out of his mind.” he rolled his eyes.

“since when was he your responsibility?” 

“he’s always been my responsibility you arse, literally since we were 10.” you argued. you could almost feel the anger radiating from him, he was seething. You wanted nothing more than to simply just sleep this night away now.

“you know, he acts more like your boyfriend than me, and i am your boyfriend.” you laughed, glaring at him.

“Well that sounds like a you problem, Harry's just being a good friend, maybe you should try and be a better boyfriend once in a while.” he slammed his hands down on the kitchen counter, your eyes snapping to his face in fear.

“he clearly wants to fuck you.” this time it was your turn to scoff.

“no he doesn’t, do you not think he would’ve made a move by now, it’s been 11 years.” you finally snapped and let yourself yell. The argument seemed to go on for hours, back and forth of you defending Harry and him trying to make him sound like a bad person. 

you didn’t even remember how it started by the time it ended, finally having enough of the shit he was saying. the same shit he’d been putting you through since he first met Harry.

“get out of my fucking house.” he stared at you dumbfounded, watching as you pointed to the door.

“what?” you rolled your eyes, moving to your front door and opening it.

“we’re done, get out.” Nate grabbed his jacket forcefully and stomped his way to the door.

“at least you can finally fuck him now.” you knew he was talking about Harry, he always hated how close you both were.

“you’re pathetic Nate.” he left without another word, leaving you to slam the door and think about everything that had just happened. A night that had gone really well, just gone down the drain.

There was a quiet, soft knock on your front door, a groan slipping past your lips as you thought it might’ve been Nate. you pulled it open rather forcefully, only to be met with your neighbours little boy. the 7 year old smiled at you sheepishly.

“hi Theo, what’s up?” you bent down to his height, looking into his brown eyes with confusion.

“me and my mum heard shouting, we just wanted to make sure you were okay.” your heart melted, looking up and making eye contact with his mum, standing in the doorway across the hall. you mouthed a ‘thank you’ and she nodded.

“Was it you and harry?” he asked shyly.

“no, it wasn’t Harry, don’t worry he’ll still come over.” Theo had told you once while you were babysitting him that he loved Harry, the male always told him a joke that’d make his stomach hurt with laughter.

“But I'm okay, thank you Theo.” you ruffled his hair, sending him back to his mum with a wave.

you closed your door and leaned back against it, finally letting some tears fall as you began processing things.

you spent most of the night crying, blaming yourself for everything that happened, even if you knew that wasn’t the case at all.

The next morning, well late morning, there was a knock on your door. you dragged yourself out of bed and didn’t even check before opening, mentally regretting it when you spotted the curly haired male standing in your doorway. you didn’t want him to see you in this state, even if he’d seen you at your worst many times before.

“hey, i just- what’s wrong?” he noticed the tear stains on your cheeks, his heart aching at the thought of you being in any kind of pain.

you walked forwards without a word and buried yourself in his chest, arms around his waist. He stroked your hair, holding you equally as tight as you were holding him.

your stomach growled at you, but not in a hungry way, your eyes widening. you let go of Harry, much to his confusion, and quickly rushed to the bathroom, throwing up everything you’d eaten the night before. the burning pain in your throat forced tears to your eyes, your knees aching from the firm tiled floor.

Harry was there in an instant, holding your hair back so nothing got in the way. His large hand rubbed your back gently, coaxing you through it until you stopped after your stomach was more or less empty. you sat back on your knees once you were done, arms still clutching the bowl in case you felt the nauseating feeling again.

“So, I take it you still don’t feel well?” you shook your head, ignoring the feeling in your gut that told you it was more than a bug.

you flushed the toilet, quickly brushing your teeth and washing your hands, having Harry stare at you through the mirror the whole time. Once you were done you sat back beside him on the floor, shoulders touching to give you any form of comfort.

“why were you crying?” you looked at him from your place on the bathroom floor and let a tear slip from your eye. your eyes stinging from how many tears you’d shed in such a short span of time.

“we broke up.” Harry frowned, pushing away the happy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“what happened?” you let out a loud sob, harry ignoring the pounding headache he had from his hangover to tend to you.

“awe love, it’s okay, always thought he was an arsehole.” you stifled a laugh, wiping your cheeks and looking at him.

“he was just, he didn’t like you, and you’re so important to me.” Harry smiled sympathetically.

“I'm sorry, i didn’t mean to-“ you shushed him, shaking your head.

“i’d rather have you in my life than him.” a few moments of silence passed by as Harry thought deeply about what you said.

“can we cuddle?” you asked quietly, almost scared to ask, snapping him out of his daze. Harry nodded, helping you up off the floor and guiding you to your room.

the two of you got under the unmade, crisp white covers on your bed, your head resting on his chest and your arms around his waist. you were silent for a while, just happy to be laying there in his warmth with harry’s fingers running through your hair. at some point you ended up falling asleep, a smile breaking out on Harry's face. He knew you probably didn’t get much sleep last night from the bags under your eyes, so he was glad he could provide you with enough comfort to do that for you.

you woke up to Harry shifting, sitting up in your bed. you groaned, trying to fall back to sleep, finding it almost impossible now Harry’s body heat was gone.

“where are you going?” you grumbled.

“i have to go, i’m sorry.” you pouted, harry placing a kiss to your head as he slipped his shoes on.

“are you sure you’re gonna be okay without me?” you nodded, flashing him a smile.

“if you need me, at any point just call me, any time okay?” you nodded again. you quickly pulled him into a hug, thanking him for helping you.

“i’ll see you soon.”

“bye Harry.” you frowned as you watched him leave, hearing your front door close a few seconds later. you closed your eyes again, willing yourself to go to sleep, prepared to sleep the rest of the day away as a distraction. 

after being unable to fall asleep you groaned loudly, angrily tossing one of your pillows across your room, not caring what you knocked over.

“what a fucking day.” 

“i missed you so much, where have you been all week, are you okay?” he rambled. it’d been a week since your breakup with Nate, and a week since you had broken down to Harry on your bathroom floor. You had gone slightly MIA but Harry has given you your space like he knew you needed.

So when you texted him, asking him to come over out of nowhere, he happily complied, walking into your flat with a loud ‘honey, i’m home,’ which you greatly appreciated.

you practically threw yourself in his arms when you saw him, leading you to where you were currently.

Harry clinged to you, his arms around your neck and his cheek mushed against yours. This is how he was trying to convince you to come to the pub with him and his friends, his methods not seeming to work on you at all, much to his dismay, and yours because he didn’t tell you he already had plans.

“are you sure you don’t want to come?” you nodded your head, turning around to face him with a small smile. you hugged his waist tightly, hiding your face in his chest.

“we can wait for you to get ready.” his eyes were pleading with you, just wanting to spend time with his favourite girl, but you knew he’d understand.

“I still don’t feel good, ‘m sorry.” he nodded, placing a friendly kiss to your forehead.

“s’okay, i understand.” 

“maybe another time.” he nodded.

“Am I okay to come here after?” you nodded, flashing him a smile. He thanked you, saying one last goodbye before leaving your flat to go and meet his friends. you sighed loudly when he was out of the door, grabbing your phone off the sofa and pulling up one of your contacts that you knew you could trust with your life.

“hello?” she asked.

“hi um, do you think you could come over, i really need you right now.” you received an ‘of course’ and a promise of her being no longer than 10 minutes. In that short amount of time you did your best to tidy up your living room as best as you could, giving up halfway after realising she wouldn’t care after you told her what was wrong.

a knock on your door startled you, even though you were expecting it, opening it to see Nikki standing there concerned.

“what’s happened hun?” you collapsed into her arms with a cry, her hands coming up to stroke your hair as she tried to calm you down.

Nikki had been like a mum to you ever since you met Harry many years ago. always helping you with things and secretly rooting for you and Harry to get together; not that she’d tell you both that though.

Nikki instructed you to breathe deeply, the flow of your tears slowly coming to a halt.

“what’s wrong?” you took a deep breath, looking into her eyes as more tears built up.

“i think i’m pregnant.” even if Nikki was shocked, she tried to hide it for your sake, knowing being calm in this situation would be more comforting.

“you stay here darling, i’ll go buy some tests and we’ll figure this out together.” you thanked her, offering some money that she straight up refused before she left. 

Being alone meant you were thinking deeply about your current situation, absolutely scared to death. you were only 21, recently single and had no idea how you mother a child. it’s safe to say you were panicking massively.

thankfully Nikki was back in no time, handing you a bag and tightly clasping your hands in hers.

“so just, go into the bathroom, take a few of these and i’ll wait with you for the results, okay?” you nodded slowly, trying to process all the information at once. you did as she said, taking a few of the tests and setting them on your bathroom counter, letting her in afterwards to sit with you.

you sat on the edge of your bathtub, nikki’s arm around you while your head rested on her shoulder.

“there’s lots of options if you are pregnant, we can sort this sweetheart.” you nodded, tearing up again.

“i’m so scared.” she placed a kiss on your head, just like Harry had done earlier, stroking your arm to comfort you.

“i know, but it’s all going to be okay.” Those 2 minutes were the scariest minutes of your life. they seemed to last an eternity. when the timer on your phone finally went off you took a deep breath, pushing yourself up and moving over to the counter.

“you got this.” you encouraged yourself. you looked at the test, seeing the two pink lines that made you let out a sob. Nikki came up behind you and pulled you into her arms, glancing at the tests to see what you were crying at, even though she could’ve taken a guess for herself.

she stayed to comfort you for a while, promising she’d leave before Harry arrived so you could tell

him in private. She got you a hot drink and a warm blanket, helping you relax on the sofa, wiping any remnants of any tears away.

After Nikki left, you couldn’t force yourself to even get up from the couch, not even to go to the bathroom or put your mug down, sitting and just thinking about everything. 

your door unlocking caught your attention, Harry entering with a smile, walking in a near straight line, which meant he was mostly sober.

“hey.” you hummed in response, watching as he made himself at home, collapsing on the couch next to you. 

“how was your night?” he asked, unknowingly. you thought about how to answer, knowing this wasn’t the right way to tell him the news. you’d get there soon enough.

“strange, how was yours?” Harry’s eyes lit up as he threw his arm around you. For the next half an hour he ranted and laughed about the multiple things that had happened with his friends on this ‘crazy’ night out. He reiterated some of the jokes, managing to make you quietly laugh at times, but you nodded along anyway, only partly listening.

“Harry.” he didn’t even notice you had mumbled his name.

“it was hilarious, i wish you’d have come, you wo-“ 

“i’m pregnant.” the words died off on his tongue. his eyes widened and he looked at you in a mix of confusion and fear.

“what?” he asked, hoping he’d heard you wrong.

“i’m pregnant.” you didn’t even try to hold back this wave of tears, Harry taking the empty mug from you and placing it on the table before letting you bury your face in his hoodie, letting all of your emotions out. He wrapped his arms around you, stroking your back as your heart wrenching sobs filled his ears.

“how?” he asked.

“i-i don’t know, we always used protection.” he grimaced, hating picturing the idea of you having sex with Nate. however he pushed that to the back of his mind to focus on you in the moment.

“I need to tell him, don’t i?” he shook his head.

“no, if you think it’s best he doesn’t know, then don’t feel like you have to say anything.” he brushed some loose hair behind your ears, wiping your tears with his thumb.

“i know you probably don’t want to, especially not with the way things ended but-“

“he has a right to know.” as much as it pained him, he nodded. you picked up your phone from the coffee table, pulling up the contact you thought you’d never have to dial again.

“should i call him?”

“It's whatever you think is best, I'll give you some privacy.” you thanked him, although you weren’t sure you even wanted him to leave.

“hey.” Harry couldn’t help but feel protective over you after what had happened with Nate, not even a week and a half ago. so even though he knew he probably shouldn’t have, he stood in the doorway of the kitchen, listening just to make sure you were okay.

When Harry re-entered the room a while later, he noticed you sitting in the same position you were in when he left.

“what happened?” you looked up at him and sighed.

“said he’s not ready to be a dad, blamed it all on me pretty much.” Harry scoffed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“do i need to beat the shit out of him, cause I will.” you laughed, shaking your head. 

“you couldn’t hurt a fly.” he gasped in offense.

“that is not true.” he let you lay your head on his shoulder, throwing some of the fluffy blanket over his lap so the two of you could cuddle together. 

“I think you’d be a great mum, you know.” he said, out of nowhere. 

“really?” you asked insecurely, receiving a confirming nod. you smiled and nuzzled your cheek deeper into his chest, fighting off sleep so you could finish your conversation.

“how come?” his fingers in your hair paused their movements, a whine of protest coming from you.

“I've seen how you are with Theo, how protective you get over Paddy, it comes naturally to you.” 

“that really means a lot, thank you Harry.” your eyes had teared up at some point in the conversation, your heart warming knowing your favourite person thought you’d succeed in this.

“always.”

For the next few days, Harry had been spending time at his family home, wanting to bond with his twin for a little bit after not seeing him for a while. you didn’t mind in the slightest, except you were starting to get lonely, missing your curly headed friend, more than you’d be willing to admit to his face.

So when you received a text Friday night telling you Sam was going out, you instantly took that as an invitation to come over. Although you probably shouldn’t have been so quick to assume, you just missed his freckled face.

So that’s where you ended up, knocking on Harry’s door after 3 or 4 days of not seeing him, as well as the week after your breakup too, knocking on his door.

“i feel like all we’ve said to each other these past few days is i miss you.” he rambled as he opened the door. you thought about it before nodding your head.

“you’re right, but I did miss you though.” you confirmed.

“missed you too.” he kissed your head, letting you follow him to the kitchen where he already had your food for the night set out.

“got you your favourite.”

“you’re an angel, sir.” you sat down across from him.

“with the way you’re eating, you look like the pregnant one.” you joked, taking note of his cramped plate. Harry ended up cracking another joke on top of yours that had you both bursting into laughter.

After the laughter died down there was an uncomfortable silence lingering in the air, one that neither you or Harry were used to when it came to each other. Of course you didn’t want to say anything, worried it was all in your head and you’d offend the male if you said anything.

However, you didn’t have time to ponder that thought for long, Harry practically reading your mind for you.

“this is weird right?” he asked. you nodded.

“why does this feel so awkward?” you asked, Harry's head snapping up and a blush coating his cheeks.

“i-i don’t know how to act around you now you’re pregnant.” he admitted.

“seriously?” you asked with a laugh. Harry’s embarrassment getting worse.

“I'm still me, Harry, just can’t drink alcohol anymore.” Harry took a deep breath and nodded, rising from his chair and heading to his fridge.

“Guess I'll have to drink for both of us then.” he winked and you rolled your eyes, watching him pop open a beer and instantly taking a gulp.

“you’re so mean.”

“What did i do?” he teased, a smirk on his lips.

“rubbing it in that i can’t drink.” you pouted, Harry laughing when glancing at your sad eyes.

“I mean, you came to see me, can’t really complain now.” you rolled your eyes.

“i’m actually only here for paddy.” Harry gasped, feigning offense.

“you don’t mean that.” you heard the front door open, Nikki and Paddy’s voices echoing through the hallway. Paddy practically ran to you when he saw you, wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

“oh, but i do.” 

After Paddy had left the kitchen, claiming he was going to play some game with his friends, Nikki made her way over to you, surveying the mess Harry had made while eating and scoffing at her son.

“how have you made such a mess Harry?” he looked at his mum sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, being let off with an eye roll.

“and how’s the mother to be?” you smiled at Nikki, accepting her side hug.

“hungry.” you whined, eyeing part of Harry’s food that you’d been dying to try.

“you’ve got enough food to feed four of you Harry, you’re never gonna eat all that, let her have some.” she hit him up the side of the head, making you giggle as he looked almost offended at his mum’s betrayal. He glared at you playfully, ignoring your innocent smile as you stole some of his food off his plate.

“thank you Harry.” you teased. He mimicked you, a snort leaving your mouth that then made Harry laugh loudly. the two of you ate with minimal conversation, both of you seeming almost equally as hungry, despite only one of you being pregnant, which you definitely kept teasing your best friend about.

“d’you wanna watch a film?” you shook your head.

“I should be getting home, I have work tomorrow.” Harry pouted, stating that he just wasn’t going to let you leave him.

“i have to go, ‘m sorry.” you kissed his cheek, grabbing your jacket off of the back of your chair.

“just promise we can hang out again soon.”

“we will.”

“I mean really soon miss.” you nodded.

“of course.” you slipped on your shoes and placed your hand over your belly, out of a new habit you’d developed rather quickly. Harry noticed, smiling at you as you already began proving his point of how good of a mum you’d be.

“thank you for tonight, i really appreciated the distraction.” you said, hugging his waist tightly.

“it’s my pleasure, but at least let me drive you home.” you shook your head, denying his offer.

“I'm fine Harry, I'm pregnant, not dead.” he rolled his eyes.

“I just worry about you.” he whined.

“i know, but i’m a big girl.” 

“whatever.” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, finally agreeing to let you go. 

“goodbye harry, i love you.” you sang. He shook his head in amusement.

“i love you too, and i’ll see you soon.” you waved before heading to your car, a content feeling in your stomach as you thought about tonight’s events.

“the things you do to me Harry Holland.” 

“you ready to go?” he asked. You nodded, grabbing your jacket and slipping it on before heading out to his car.

“Are you nervous?” he asked, taking his eyes off the road for a quick second to glance at you. you shook your head.

“ ‘m really excited, I just want to see them.” he smiled, loving to see your excitement. The rest of the journey to the doctors was rather silent, except for the quiet hum of the radio in the background and Harry’s occasional humming to the songs.

“and we’re here.” you practically squealed, startling Harry. He was unsure if he’d ever seen you this excited for something, ever. especially at an early time like 10am; early for you at least.

“come on, hurry up.” Harry huffed and locked his car, following behind you as you almost ran inside the building.

Harry had to calm you down while you sat in the doctor's room on the small, plush bed, your leg was bouncing in anticipation and your smile was wide as you tried to suppress it.

“i’m so excited.” you announced, Harry grinning and taking your hand in his.

“me too, can’t wait to see your little munchkin.” your heart grew, hearing Harry say that practically made you realise this was real, you were going to have a mini you.

The doctor entered, introducing herself and explaining how this all works. She asked you to lift up your shirt and you followed her instruction, holding your hand out to Harry afterwards.

“this might be cold.” you giggled at the cold sensation of the gel on your stomach. She started to move the device around your stomach, searching for the heartbeat. you bit your bottom lip in anticipation, squeezing Harry’s hand.

“and there they are, that little plum there is them.” you melted, tears welling in your eyes as you listened to their heartbeat.

you looked over at Harry who was sitting in shock, completely amazed that that little one was growing inside of you.

“that’s incredible.” you nodded, watching Harry’s face in awe, studying his grin and sparkling eyes. The appointment was quickly over after that, taking your sonogram picture and scheduling another appointment for a few weeks in advance.

“i still can’t believe it's real.” Harry nodded, his gaze still scanning over your ultrasound, gently running his thumb over it with a smile.

“i’m so proud of you, you know.” you blushed, his arm slinging over your shoulder.

“really?” he nodded.

“you’re going to be an amazing, beautiful, incredible mum and i can’t wait to see your little bub.” you awed, thanking him with a warm feeling in your stomach.

“thank you.” 

After arriving home, you and Harry made breakfast/lunch that you didn’t have before you left and watched a film to pass time.

Later that day, you had to start getting ready for the meal with the Hollands, + Harrison of course.

you showered, letting Harry take one too before spending an eternity trying to pick out a dress to wear. Harry would give his occasional input, a quick yes or no every so often, neither of which were very helpful.

“this one?” you held up a pretty baby blue dress that’d make you look like the depiction of an angel. the dress would cup your small bump perfectly, flowing out towards the bottom.

“i think it’s perfect.”

“really?” you asked, turning to look at him over your shoulder.

“definitely.” you decided to trust your best friend, moving into the bathroom to slip the dress on. you took a quick look at yourself in the mirror, unsure if this felt right to you. When you stepped out back into your room Harry made it very clear that it was perfect.

“you look amazing.” you blushed, thanking him and moving to stand in your mirror. Harry flashed you a silly grin as you looked over the dress a few times, looking at different angles to try and see if your opinion would change.

“are you sure i look okay?” Harry looked over your dress one more time, the silly grin still painted on his face.

“you look gorgeous, and your little belly looks adorable.” you rolled your eyes, turning to the side to look at your swollen tummy. it was barely there, being so early on in your pregnancy, but still noticeable in the tight bit of the dress you’d chosen.

“come on, let’s go before you change, again.” He took your hand, lacing your fingers together and practically dragging you out to his car, timed almost perfectly so that you’d arrive on time for the dinner with his family.

Harry huffed as your leg continued to bounce on the floor of the car, placing his hand on your knee to steady it. you looked at him and from that look alone he could tell you were overthinking the entire night already.

“are you worried?” you hesitantly nodded.

“why are you so worried?” he laughed. Once the car was stable in the car park of the restaurant, he pulled you into his side over the console in his car. “you see my family all the time.” 

“I know but, only your mum actually knows I'm pregnant, they haven’t seen the bump yet.” you we’re definitely still trying to adjust to your belly, however you practically always had a hand on it. Harry frowned, cupping your cheek so you’d look at him.

“do you think they’re going to judge you?” he asked quietly. you sighed.

“i don’t know, but what if they think i’m stupid for going through with this.” he shook his head.

“they would never.” he reached over and laced your fingers together, gently squeezing your hand in reassurance.

“what if this dress was a mistake, it only highlights it and-“ he shook his head again.

“you look beautiful, heck you're practically glowing y/n.” your heart melted, admiring the man sitting in the driver’s seat.

“i think they love you more than me at times.” you laughed, looking at him with a smile. “so you have nothing to worry about.”

“thank you, i really hope so.” Harry, being the gentleman he is, got out of his side of the car, coming over and opening your door for you.

“what an angel.”

“what can i say?” he shrugged with a laugh. the two of you walked into the restaurant and searched for the other hollands. Harry pointed them out and placed his hand on your lower back, gently guiding you over to the table.

“y/n, it’s so lovely to see you.” you hugged Nikki tightly.

“look at you.” she admired your bump like a proud mother, even though that’s basically what she was anyway.

“woah y/n, since when have you-“ Sam motioned to your belly, a giggle leaving your lips.

“almost 3 months, i actually went for a scan this morning.” his eyes widened. 

“Do you have the picture?” he asked, his eyes turning into puppy dog eyes. you nodded, pulling out your phone to show Sam the picture you’d taken of your sonogram, the one you’d sent to your parents as a way of announcing you were pregnant.

“have i really not noticed?” 

“I’ve barely started showing you idiot.” you laughed, letting him pull you into a hug. you hugged paddy next, the boy cracking a few jokes about how he was taller than you now and of course a congratulations on the baby. 

Harry pulled a chair out for you, thanking him before you sat down next to Sam, Harry on the other side.

“where’s everyone else?” Harry asked, looking at the empty seats on the end of the table.

“they’re on their way.” he nodded, the table breaking out into light conversation. 

Not too much later you saw Paddy’s head perk up, spotting his brother and his brother’s best friend entering the restaurant. you found it adorable how excited he got to see his brother, even after only a few days of not seeing him.

“the party has arrived.” Tom announced, a laugh coming from you and Sam. Harrison was first to practically bear hug you after you stood up, noticing your belly with furrowed eyebrows.

“woah-“

“i know.” you smiled. He offered you congratulations, Tom giving you the same shocked look when he hugged you.

“no, you aren’t allowed to grow up.” he whined. Tom had been like your older brother since you’d met Harry, always ridiculously overprotective of you, even if you could sort the situation out yourself.

“don’t worry, you can be the favourite uncle.” you whispered. Tom grinned happily.

“I would've been anyway, be realistic.” you laughed, nodding your head.

“seriously though, congrats y/n.” you smiled.

“thank you.” he gave you another quick hug before pulling Paddy into a bro hug.

The dinner went by better than you thought it would. no one mentioned your pregnancy, which you were very happy about, and overall you had fun.

“you okay?” Harry asked as you were leaving the restaurant.

“ ‘m tired.” you mumbled, resting your head on his arm.

“want me to take you home?” you nodded. He led you to his car, helping you into the passenger seat. you smiled, his actions reminding you of him on the night of Tom’s party.

Upon arriving at your flat you were almost passed out, meaning Harry would have to carry you upstairs and to your bed.

Much to your surprise he did so without complaint or struggle, hoisting you into his arms, bridal style. Your arms wrapped around his neck, keeping you secure in his hold, the fear that he’d drop you lingering in the back of your mind.

“please don’t drop me.” you murmured, Harry picking it up and laughing.

“I won't, I promise.” he always thought you were adorable when you were half asleep. You lost the ability to filter what you were saying, making the randomest of comments that always made him let out a giggle.

“and you’re home.” you cheered sleepily, making Harry smile as he carried you to your bedroom. He gently laid you down on your bed, turning around to grab some pyjamas from your dresser.

“can you change or do you need my help?” you shook your head, confusing Harry.

“too tired.” he sighed, asking if it was okay for him to take your dress off, you complied, letting him pull the fabric over your head exposing your underwear to him.

even though it was nothing he hadn’t seen before, being friends for so long, he still blushed, trying to slip the shirt on over your head.

you protested, moving your hands to the clasp on your bra as you tried to blindly remove it.

“w-what are you doing?” Harry’s eyes widened.

“can’t sleep with it on.” he gulped, nodding hesitantly as you peeled the fabric off of your body, exposing your bare chest to him. Harry did his best to avert his eyes, his face blushing a deep shade of red as he slipped his old shirt over your body.

“there you go.”

“thank you.” you mumbled, climbing under the covers of your bed and quickly getting comfy. It didn’t take you long at all to begin drifting in and out of a light sleep, Harry checking you were okay before he left for the night.

“goodnight y/n.” you hummed, pushing your face into your pillow, too far gone to even attempt a response, Harry chuckled, turning off your bedroom light and leaving your apartment.

Harry was back in his home in no longer than half an hour, taking a seat in the living room after grabbing a drink from the fridge, with both Tom and Harrison’s eyes on him in an instant.

“what?” he asked, confused.

“where have you been?” 

“i took y/n home?” he said slowly, unsure what they were getting at.

“and how’s it going between you two?” Harrison hinted. Harry rolled his eyes, flipping them off and taking a swig of his beer.

“come on, Harry you’ve been in love with her since you were 14, just tell her already.” Tom ranted.

“yeah, you’re both single, why not?” Harrison added.

“Now is definitely not the right time, she’s got more important things to deal with.” Tom sighed, he’d been encouraging his younger brother to make his move for years, seeing how perfect you both were for each other, but he always respected Harry’s decision. just like he would now.

“Harry, i do think it’s really awesome what you’re doing though.” he cocked his head, not sure what his older brother meant.

“that you’re helping her with this, it’s really brave.” he smiled, glancing down at his lap, his cheeks flushing a bright pink.

“well, Nate left her and I didn't want her to feel like she’d been completely abandoned.” he started. “i was never going to let her do this by herself, she’s my best friend.” both Tom and Harrison could hear the hesitance in his voice when he said ‘best friend.’ everyone that looked at the pair could see they were silently begging to be more, they’d been in love for years and were way to blind to see it.

“well you’re doing good.” Harry thanked his brother, glancing up at him with a smile.

Harry was going to help you through this, just like your best friend should do.

As the months passed, rather too quickly for your liking, Nikki was completely set on taking you baby shopping. Practically dragging you out with her, and unfortunately for him, making Harry come to.

You were currently browsing through some baby clothes with Nikki, your hand on your 6 month bump. Harry was god knows where, having separated from you two a while ago, saying something about finding baby clothes with good taste.

“What about that one?” She motioned towards a simple dark blue onesie and with a simple nod of your head it was in your basket.

“Y/n!” Harry whisper yelled. You looked around until you saw him, meeting his eyes from a distance with a confused expression. “look how cute this is.” He pointed to a little onesie that looked like a duck, an eye roll coming from you.

“Put it back Harry.” You giggled, watching the boy pout adorably.

“But-“

“No.” You shook your head, the boy shuffling over to you sadly. He rested his chin on your shoulder, arms going around you to sprawl his hands on your growing belly. Harry was obsessed with your belly, and luckily for him, he was one of the only people you felt comfortable letting touch your bump. He would often hold your belly or talk to it, or rub your back for you if it was hurting. His actions only made you fall deeper in love with him, something that scared you, but something that was also quite amazing to you.

Harry continued to goof around, intent on buying practically all the teddy bears he could find.

“Harry, stop.” You laughed, taking another silly onesie out of your basket and putting it back.

“Listen, i was promised food if i came and-“ You giggled.

“You’ll get food, just, after we’re done.” He huffed, turning to his mum to pester her like a child.

“If i let you get the duck onesie, will you stop?” He nodded his head, a grin forming on his lips.

“fine, go get it.” He almost squealed, rushing back down the aisles to grab it. He came back and you couldn’t help giggling at Nikki’s unimpressed face, snatching the onesie off of him to place in the basket and move on.

“You’re an idiot, Harry.” He gasped, feigning offense at your words.

“Harry junior would never treat me like this.” You rolled your eyes as he knelt down and hugged your belly.

“Harry junior?” He nodded, confidently.

“Not a chance.” You laughed, pushing his head away from you playfully.

“Come on kids.” Nikki mumbled in her motherly voice, trying to motion for you two to stop messing around.

“I’m hungry.” Harry whined again, probably for the hundredth time.

Nikki eventually grew sick of his whining, asking if you had everything you needed. You paid for your items and then decided your next stop was going to be to get Harry some food. He practically cheered at the news, acting like a child on christmas.

“You’re so weird.” He rolled his eyes, turning this back on you.

“Don’t even try and tell me baby’s not excited to eat.” He pointed to your belly accusingly, a sheepish smile covering your face.

“Hey, I'm feeding 2 people, what’s your excuse?” Nikki laughed at your childish bickering, shaking her head at you both. She couldn’t help but notice the soulmate connection between you again, just wondering when the news was finally going to come out.

After grabbing some food, Nikki dropped you off back home, getting Harry to help you take the bags of baby things inside.

“I’ll see you soon.” He gave you a quick but firm hug, kissing your head and waving goodbye. You waved as the two drove away, going inside and deciding on unpacking the things to start and put away.

The nursery currently wasn’t done, you had a few boxes with stuffed toys and things in and some with baby clothes in, just until you could guilt trip your best friend into helping you set everything up.

You moved to stand in front of the mirror you had sitting in the corner of the almost empty room. You cupped your growing belly and turned to the side, grinning slightly.

“I can’t wait to meet you.” You spoke quietly. “You’re g’na be so loved, so spoiled by the Holland boys.” You giggled. You jolted lightly when you felt a slight kick near where your hand lay.

“Can you hear me, hear mummy talking to you?” You gushed, eyes beginning to water. 

You’d heard from the nurse that it was a good idea to try talking to the baby, just to try and create that bond early on.

After getting that reaction from them, you ended up making sure to make time at least once a day until the end of your pregnancy, to just say hello.

“Hello, baby.”

<<<<>>>>

A few days after baby shopping with Nikki, you were practically begging all your close friends to stop with the baby gifts, reassuring them you had enough toys and clothes to last them a lifetime. Admittedly Tom and Sam had been the worst of the holland’s for it, so far at least, shocking you that it wasn’t Harry. Tom bombarded you with spiderman themed items, which was expected by you all.

So when Harry showed up in your flat, announcing he’d bought something else for your little bub, you couldn’t help rolling your eyes.

“Okay so, i know you said no more baby things but, i couldn’t help myself.” You groaned, throwing your head back as Harry made himself known in your flat. He found you sitting on a kitchen chair at the island, eating random pregnancy cravings you had, of which he found utterly disgusting. 

“What did you do?” He pulled out a small bag from behind his back, placing it on the counter and pulling out a small stuffed bear that replicated a tiny captain america, shield and all.

“Harry-“

“I know what you said, but I saw it and I know he’s your favourite.” He pouted, handing you the bear with a small smile. You grinned against your will, pulling him into a hug as a thank you.

“But this is the last one okay, no more baby things.” He nodded, giving you his pinky to promise. Harry watched as your body suddenly jumped, hand shifting to your belly with an excited smile.

“What’s wrong?”

“Come here.” You summoned him over, placing his hand on your stomach where you’d just felt your bub move.

“What am i-“ His sentence was cut short when he felt a weak kick against his palm, his eyes shooting to yours with tears brimming on his waterline.

“Was that-“

“She’s kicking.” Harry grinned, the news flying right over his head. it took a few minutes to register until his eyes finally snapped to yours.

“wait, she?” You nodded, tears now slipping down your cheeks.

“Found out this morning.” You explained.

“you’re having a little girl.” He was in awe. He wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face in your neck.

“congrats y/n.” You and Harry talked for a while, mainly about baby name ideas. He recommended some names he thought were pretty, your heart warming at how involved he wanted to be with your little girl.

“what about-“ He began, before you cut him off.

“Harry, you’ve said so many names I've already forgotten the first ones.” He smiled sheepishly, apologising for overwhelming you.

“s’okay, but we’ve got plenty of time to decide, don’t worry.” He nodded. “but, i do need you to help me set up the nursery.” you smiled. 

“is this weekend okay?” You nodded.

“I can set up some furniture but I need help paint-“ He stopped you mid sentence.

“You aren’t doing anything, I'll get tom and sam to help, you just rest your pretty little self.” you rolled your eyes as your cheeks flushed a light pink shade, trying to brush off Harry’s sneaky compliment like it was nothing.

“We’ll get her room looking fit for a little princess.” 

“A spoiled little princess.” Harry rolled his eyes sassily.

“Obviously, she now has 4 uncles that are ready to spoil her.” He argued.

“Yeah, yeah.” You laughed. 

“Have you told anyone else?” You shook your head no, Harry’s eyes lighting up with a cheeky smirk.

“So I found out first?” You shushed him, pushing his shoulder. “I’m honoured, especially to know I'm your favourite.”

“I’ve told you before, Paddy’s my favourite.” He grumbled something under his breath about his brother that you didn’t hear, claiming it was nothing when you threatened to snitch on him.

“That’s what i thought, big man.” Harry’s face suddenly lit up, telling you he had an idea for something.

“Can we surprise the others with the gender?” He looked like a puppy, your heart melting. You couldn’t say no to him like that, so you nodded, Harry getting straight to how each one could go.

<<<<>>>>

You spent the next few days surprising the Holland family with the announcement of your babygirl, trying to do it discreetly. Starting with Nikki and Dom first.

“So, I have some news, but in order to break it to you-“ You motioned to Harry who was holding a box with two donuts. They were coated in pink icing, one having the words ‘it’s a’ written on in red, while the other had ‘girl.’

They took them with a thank you, Harry placing his hand on your shoulder as a good luck wish.

Your heart sank when Dom took a bite of the donut without reading it, fearing your plan had failed.

“What’s your news, y/n?” Nikki asked, smiling up at you.

“I was going to say read the donuts, but that might not work anymore.” She glanced down and read hers.

“It’s a?” You nodded. Her eyes widened when she realised what you meant. “The baby's gender?” You nodded again.

“What does yours say?” She asked her husband, quite frantically. Seeing as he’d already eaten most of his, it wasn’t very noticeable what the word had been. However, after seeing a still intact ‘G’, she was able to decipher it.

“You’re having a girl?” She asked, tearfully.

“I’m having a girl.” You confirmed, letting her pull you into a hug. She said a ‘congratulations’ into your ear, kissing your head temple as she pulled away.

“I’m so happy for you.” 

You hoped that Sam and Paddy hadn’t already heard the news from downstairs. Going up to Sam’s room, Harry asking Paddy to come and join you all.

“I have an announcement about baby.” Both sets of eyes were now on you, focused and listening.

“So boys.” you started. “You might need to put these on actually.” 

You pulled 2 baby sized shirts from behind your back, handing them over with a giggle. Sam read his first, his eyes widening upon seeing ‘favourite niece.’

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. Paddy still hadn’t got what was going on, reading over the words ‘prettiest princess.’ 

“C-can someone explain?” Harry chuckled at his younger brother and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

“She’s having a girl, Pads.” Harry explained, realisation and a wave of emotions hitting him square in the face.

“We’re so proud of you.” Sam held onto you tightly, flashing his twin a sneaky look over his shoulder.

“Thank you.” You pulled back and hugged Paddy, the boy congratulating you and assuring you that they’d be spoiling her as soon as they could.

Tom and Harrison were next after finding them both in the house.

You wanted to give Tom the most difficult task, blowing up a balloon that told you ‘it’s a girl.’

“I need you to blow this up.” You handed him the packet with the balloon inside, a groan coming from him. He begrudgingly started to blow up the balloon, his face becoming red as he slowly became out of breath.

“Holy shit!” Harrison shouted, seeing the writing on the side, even before it was fully intact.

Tom looked at it and jumped up from the couch.

“I knew it!” Tom announced, a wide grin on his face as he hugged you tightly, he swayed you both slowly, his excitement getting the best of him.

“I can’t wait to be her favourite.” You rolled your eyes, letting Harry and Tom start that debate while getting a hug from Harrison.

“Congrats y/n.”

“Thank you, Haz.” 

You spent the rest of the day by Harry’s side, the two of you fantasizing about what your baby girl’s going to be like, and you thought it was perfect.

The knock on your front door startled you, pulling your attention from the tv show you were watching. You turned the tv off, jumping up from your couch and opening it to find your best friend standing there in what he called, his ‘best painting clothes.’

“What do you think?” He motioned to his overalls and plain hoodie he was wearing, posing like he was being photographed in a photo shoot.

“You’re so weird.” He scoffed, closing your door behind him and stepping into your flat.

“You didn’t answer my question.” He said.

“What question?” You asked.

“Do you like my outfit?” You rolled your eyes when he started posing obnoxiously again. You looked at his outfit up and down and gave him a tight lipped smile.

“It looks great.” He squinted his eyes at you, unsure if you were joking or if you actually hated it.

“Also, shoes off, looks like you’ve been stood in mud for hours.” With a huff he began unlacing his shoes, leaving them by the front door.

“What if i just like jumping in mud?” He asked sassily. “Are you really going to judge me for my interests?” 

“Okay, peppa pig, i’m just saying, no mud on my floors.” You pointed your finger at him, watching him laugh as he pieced together your tv reference.

“That was a good one.” He commented.

“Thank you, I’m honoured.” You led him down the hall, opening the door to your cluttered nursery with a sigh.

“Here we are, voila.” You motioned your arms towards the very disappointing room, seeing Harry’s face drop.

“Very anticlimactic.” You rolled your eyes, punching his shoulder.

“Shut up.” You handed him a clean paint brush, taking another one out for yourself while Harry opened the lid of the paint bucket.

“What are you doing?” He asked, pointing to the paintbrush in your hand.

“Currently, nothing.”

“You aren’t painting, you’re going to sit down on your cute butt and watch.” He demanded. You stared at him in amazement.

“I’m not dying Harry, I can still do things.” He shook his head.

It had eventually taken a lot of convincing on your part to persuade Harry to let you assist him in painting the nursery. You were going on almost half an hour now.

“I can do bits, come on, i’ll take a break if i really need to.” He sighed. You’d been bugging him about it since he started almost an hour ago, the males patience wearing thin.

“Promise?” He asked, holding his pinky in your direction. Your eyes lit up, wrapping your much smaller pinky around his.

“Promise.” You confirmed, a small smirk on your face.

“Grab a paintbrush.” You squealed, Harry certain you almost burst his ear drums.

“I’ve never seen someone so excited to paint.” You pushed his shoulder, gathering some of the light coloured paint on your brush and beginning to paint the same wall as Harry, just at the opposite side. You were working well together, music from one of his many playlists playing out of his phone, creating a calm atmosphere in the room. 

You had helped paint at least one wall by the time your feet started to ache, finding it painful to stay on your feet much longer. Harry heard your uncomfortable grumbles and stared you down until you turned to look at him.

“Do you need a break?” He asked. You nodded your head, giving in, cupping your large belly and sitting down on the floor, although that was a tiring task in itself. You watched Harry work for a little while, asking him to help you up after your feet felt better. He grabbed both of your hands in his, pulling you up towards him until you were on your feet.

“Thank you.” Before resuming your painting, you waddled to your kitchen to get you both some drinks, coming back and making Harry take just a quick break.

“Think this will be done today?” He stood back and observed the progress you’d made already, one full wall down, only 2 and a half more to go.

“Possibly, if you stop slacking.” Your jaw dropped, Harry laughing as you stood there shocked.

“Well two can play at that game, Holland.” You dipped your hand into the paint bucket, moving over to Harry and placing your hand right on his cheek. 

“Y/n!” He yelled, watching as you doubled over in laughter. His mind wandered from his painted cheek and he started to see the funny side of it, deciding on getting his own back.

It ended up being a full blown paint war between you two, both of you ending up covered in paint, giggling to yourselves like children.

“You can clean this up.” You told him.

“Why me, you started it!” You grinned.

“I’m the pregnant one, and i’m gonna go shower.” You placed a teasing kiss on the one spot on his cheek that wasn’t splattered with paint. “Enjoy.” 

Harry shook his head, chuckling to himself as you waddled away.

“Crafty lady.” He muttered under his breath.

<<<<>>>>

“Oh wow, you clean up nice.” You teased, throwing him a wink.

After your shower, you felt completely refreshed, especially not being covered in cakes of paint anymore. You slipped into comfy clothes and stalked your way back to the nursery, where you were currently looking at a spotless room, yet a still painted Harry. It looked almost as if there wasn’t a paint fight here only hours before.

“I know, you’d never know some rebellious girl trashed the place.” You rolled your eyes at his dramatics. “Unless you looked at me, that is.” You laughed, shaking your head at him. 

“I can’t wait to see it done.” Harry looked around and silently agreed with you.

“It’s going to be so cute.” You finally noticed that Harry had almost completely finished painting.

“Might need another coat but, should be done soon.” 

“Thank you, for helping me, again.” You laughed. He smiled, shrugging his shoulders.

“I think i’d be a pretty shitty best friend if i didn’t.” 

“Yeah, that’s true.” He scoffed at your teasing, playfully flipping you off.

“Harold, there’s children around.” You scolded, hands cupping your belly like you were covering a child’s eyes. He laughed at you.

“Good luck getting Tom to stop, even when she’s here he’s going to be a nightmare.” You groaned.

“I didn’t even think about your foul mouthed siblings.” Harry snorted as your comment caught him off guard, the two of you falling into a state of continuous laughter to the point your stomachs ached. 

“Okay, we need to get it together.” He demanded playfully. “Let’s finish painting, then we can fuck around all we want.”

You slapped his arm at his choice of vocabulary, receiving a teasing wink from your best friend.

“Just as bad as the rest of them.” You mumbled, earning an offended scoff from him.

“How dare you.” He accused, holding his hand over his heart and feigning pain. 

“Just being honest, my dear.” 

A few days later, after the room was so ‘gracefully’ painted by you and Harry, two of the other Holland boys had come over to help put the baby's furniture together. They’d had to move the toys and clothes out before they started to put the furniture boxes in, meaning it was like a maze of baby stuff just to get to the room. Something that was definitely not very convenient for you and your large belly.

Harry and Sam had started working on the crib first, while Tom worked on the rocking chair that you would feed your girl in.

“What can i help with?” You asked entering the room, ready to do anything they needed you to.

“Nope.” Tom demanded, practically shoving you out of the nursery.

“You aren’t doing anything, you’re almost 7 months pregnant.” You rolled your eyes, seeing that there was definitely a theme between the Holland siblings. But not wanting to argue about it with him, you moved on begrudgingly.

“Fine, but if you need anything, please ask.” He nodded.

“We will.” He said. “Now leave.”

“Such a gentleman.” You commented teasingly. Tom rolled his eyes, shooing you out of the room. 

You were now left to your own devices, deciding on making something to eat in the kitchen.

You weren’t really paying attention to the time, all your focus on making food. So, when Harry came into the room you didn’t think it’d be because they were already done.

“We’re finished.” Harry announced.

“Already?” You asked, your question being ignored as Harry placed his hands over your eyes, blocking your vision from seeing anything.

“Harry, we still have to walk there, and i need to turn the stove off.” You laughed. You could practically hear him rolling his eyes, turning the stove off for you before carefully guiding you away.

“I’m not taking any chances, come on miss.” He helped you up from your chair and guided you through the hall and towards the baby’s room. He made sure you didn’t trip or bump into anything, which you were very grateful for.

You came to a sudden halt, hearing the hushed voices of Sam and Tom in the room with you.

“Okay, are you ready?” Sam asked. You nodded, trying to pry Harry’s hands from off of your eyes. 

“Let me see, come on.” You heard them laugh before Tom started counting down.

“3-“ Tom dragged it out for a lot longer than necessary, just to try and build up the anticipation. 

“2-“ You huffed, beginning to grow impatient at the lad.

“1, and a half.”

“Oh my god, will you just let me look.” Harry laughed, removing his hands from your eyes. Your eyes quickly adjusted to the bright lights of the room, looking around the nursery with watery eyes. You cursed yourself mentally as your hormones got the best of you, practically forcing you to cry.

“Why are you crying?” Sam asked, rubbing your back with a sympathetic pout.

“Hormones, happy tears, all that good stuff.” You joked. You hugged the twin tightly, well as tight as you could considering your large belly. You then hugged Tom and then Harry, staying leaned into Harry’s side with his arm around your shoulders.

“Now, you just have to sort out all the boxes.” Sam stated. 

You frowned, looking at the stacks of baby things in your hallway.

“Well is anyone helping?” Harry let go of you, shifting over to stand by his twin. The brothers looked at each other with a ‘not it’ kind of look. The twins did their weird twin telepathy thing and ended up pushing Tom towards you, making a break for your front door.

“Bye y/n, bye Tom!” 

“Dickheads.” Tom mumbled, you nodding in agreement behind him.

“Well, i guess it’s just us.” Tom grabbed a couple boxes and placed them on the floor, allowing you both to sort through them and hang up clothes, or put away toys.

“I’m loving all the spiderman things in here.”

“Tom, this whole box is basically from you.” You laughed. He shrugged, throwing you a smirk.

“No wonder these clothes are of such good taste then.” You picked up a spiderman plushie, aiming it at his head and succeeding in hitting your target. He mumbled an ‘ouch,’ shooting you a glare whilst you smiled innocently.

“How much longer?” Tom whined, laying himself down on the floor and pretending to sob.

“Stop being a baby.” You laughed, poking his stomach with your foot.

“Come on, get up.” He groaned loudly, pushing himself up.

“I feel like I'm being punished for something.” He sighed. You laughed, handing him some more stuff to put away. 

“So dramatic.” You commented.

“I am an actor, darling.” You fake gasped, turning to face him in shock.

“No way!” You stated. “Do you by any chance play this spider guy.” You held up one of the spiderman onesies he had bought a few weeks ago.

“Shut up.” He chuckled, flipping you off.

“Harry told me you wouldn’t stop swearing for the baby.” You told him, pointing to his middle finger. “You just proved him right.” 

“Oh, how awful, proving Harry right.” His comment made you giggle, telling him to behave.

You and Tom were unpacking things for a little while longer, taking the time to take a breather when you were done.

After you and Tom were finally done, you were more than ready to just sleep forever and Tom was clearly ready to go home.

“Thank you for your help.” You hugged him tightly before he left. 

“Always, see you soon y/n.” He waved, closing the door behind him. You sighed, finally getting a moment to yourself after a chaotic day filled with the three lads.

“And it’s just us again baby girl.” You smiled as she started to gently kick your belly, your heart warming as she knew you were talking to her. 

“Yeah, it’s your mummy.” You teared up slightly, cursing your hormones again.

“Why don’t we go take a nap, huh?” You cupped your belly, heading to your room and just hoping your baby could calm down enough to let you sleep.

“Goodnight angel.”

Being 9 months pregnant was ridiculously difficult. You yourself felt like the child, rather than the one you were carrying, at this point. You couldn’t do anything without someone else to help you. The Hollands had been utter angels to you, helping you with every little thing to make sure you were completely prepared to give birth.

“How you feeling today, mama?” Tom teased as you entered the kitchen to fulfill, yet another craving.

“Tired, and huge.” You whined, pouting at the oldest Holland. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and hugged you.

“Not long now, then you’ll have your adorable little girl.” You nodded your head, smiling at the thought.

“Feels like it’s taking forever.” You complained.

“Why don’t you go take a nap?” You nodded, thanking Tom before heading upstairs to Harry’s room. You weren’t sure where he was, assuming he was doing something with either his twin or his little brother.

Little did you know that this sleep was not going to be as peaceful as you originally hoped.

A sharp pain in your lower abdomen woke you from your sleep, jolting upright and cupping your large belly. You took deep breaths, letting your eyes adjust to being awake before checking the time on the clock next to Harry's bed. 

You convinced yourself it was nothing, pushing yourself out of bed to use the bathroom before you’d go back to sleep like nothing happened.

However, another sharp pain followed by a gush of water made you panic.

“Harry!” You shouted, not knowing where in the house he was. He ran into his childhood bedroom with a scared look on his face, finding you standing in the middle of the floor, cupping the bottom of your belly standing in a puddle of water and squeezing your eyes shut in pain.

“Hey.” He placed his hand on your lower back, the other lifting your chin to look at him. “What happened?” You panted as the contraction wore off.

“I-I think my water just broke.” His eyes widened, yelling for his Mum.

For the last few weeks of your pregnancy, you’d been staying in the Holland household just in case anything were to happen. It also meant you had Nikki’s help when you finally went into labour, just like right now.

“What’s wrong?” Harry looked at his mum in fear.

“Her water broke.” He simply stated. Nikki nodded, refusing to show any sign of panic as she made her way over to you.

“We need to get you to the car, Harry can you-“ He nodded, taking your hand and being careful to walk you downstairs, stopping halfway to help you wait out your contraction. 

When you were finally in the car you noticed Sam was now driving, giving him a tight lipped smile and a thank you.

“You’re doing so well, y/n.” You laid your head on Harry’s shoulder, squeezing his hand as you took deep breaths to try and calm the pain.

“So proud of you, bug.” You smiled, looking up at him.

“You haven’t called me that in years.” Truthfully, Harry stopped calling you that after he met Nate. there was one time where he let it slip, like a habit in front of him and he didn’t react too kindly about it.

“It just kinda slipped out.” You tucked your head into his neck again.

“I like it, don’t worry.” The drive felt as though it was never going to end. You wanted nothing more than to make it to the hospital and get your baby out of you so this pain would stop. Every few minutes you’d squeeze the life out of Harry’s hands, crying out in pain.

“We’re here.” Sam announced. You were helped into the hospital where you were led to a private room, your contractions growing closer together and, arguably more painful, as time passed by.

“Harry.” You whimpered, clutching his arm as another contraction shot through your body. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“You can, you’re one of the strongest people I know.” He said, pressing his lips to your head to try and calm you down.

“It hurts.” You looked up at him with tears threatening to fall from your eyes, his heart shattering as he had to witness the pain his favourite person was going through.

“You can do this, I know you can.” Half an hour later you were giving birth, one of the most painful, and if not, the most painful experience of your life. Harry stayed with you the whole time like he’d promised you all those months ago, letting you squeeze the life out of his hand. All while he’d whisper words of encouragement and praise to you.

“One final push, y/n.” You panted like a dog that needed water, listening to the doctor countdown from 10. The final push was the most relieving one of all, your baby girl finally being brought out into the world, her hearty wails echoing around the hospital room.

You leaned your head on Harry’s chest while they cleaned her, utterly worn out. The tiny girl was placed on your chest, a small sob slipping past your lips as you stared down at her.

One by one the doctors started to leave the room, checking you and baby were okay first.

Once you, Harry and your girl were left alone, you finally grinned widely.

“I can’t even believe she’s real.” You said.

“Did you decide on a name?” He asked, bending down to be closer to your height. You nodded with a grin, taking his hand into yours.

“What is it?” You turned your attention back to her.

“Happy birthday, Lily rose y/l/n.” You kissed her head, tears running down your face as you stared at your perfect creation. Harry grinned, tearing up slightly as he put it altogether.

“Roses for Lily?” You looked at him and nodded.

“My way of honouring you for everything you’ve done for me.” He leaned down and hugged you, trying to not let you know that he was secretly crying over the sweet gesture.

“A december baby, just like Paddy.” You giggled, nodding your head. You stroked her cheek as gently as you possibly could, feeling too emotional and filled with adoration to even speak. Her tiny, bright eyes fluttered to a close, feeling content enough with being in her mother’s arms to fall asleep.

You and Harry didn’t speak for a while, scared that even a quiet noise would wake up your precious angel. This continued until Harry eventually broke the silence, just to tell you how amazing you were.

“ ‘m so proud of you.” Harry stroked his fingers through your hair, disregarding that you were a sweaty mess as you finally held your little girl. She slept soundly as the two of you admired the little bub.

“Thank you Harry, really.” You whispered. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“For what?” He asked.

“For helping me through this, all of it, I wouldn’t have survived the last 9 months without you.” You told him, tearfully.

“You don’t have to thank me, I would never make you do this alone.” He kissed your head, a small smile permanently glued to your face. Both of your attentions were directed back to Lily.

“She’s absolutely perfect.” He confessed. You nodded in agreement.

The little bub started to blink open her eyes, her sleep not lasting very long, showing you the gorgeous orbs that were the same colour as yours.

“Hi pretty girl.” She let out a yawn, the unknown action scaring her, you watched as her face scrunched up and she began to cry.

“Oh no, you’re okay, was just a yawn.” You nuzzled your nose against her head, gently placing your lips against her skin to soothe her.

“I know, it was scary hm?” The little one calmed down after a little while, entranced with Harry who sat in her eye line.

“That was the cutest thing ever.” You giggled, motioning for Harry to take a seat on your bed. He carefully leaned over and traced her cheek with his thumb, tearing up when her tiny hand wrapped around his much bigger thumb.

You smiled at the sight, laying your head against his chest. You didn’t want to kill the happy mood, but you couldn’t help but let your mind drift off to thinking about Nate.

“Should I text him, just to let him know?” You wondered aloud. Harry looked down at you and noticed the uncertainty clouded in your eyes.

“Did he ever respond to your last text?” You shook your head. Even though he said he wasn’t ready to be a father, you’d still sent Nate updates every now and then, sometimes pictures of sonograms, or sometimes if she was kicking, just to let him know his girl was doing okay.

“Just leave it, he clearly doesn’t care.” You nodded sadly, glancing back down at your bub, you noticed the discomfort on her face before she began to tear up, quickly turning into a heart wrenching wail, your own heart aching not knowing what was wrong.

“Y/n?” You lifted your head and glanced at Nikki standing in the doorway of your hospital room. “The midwife said she might need feeding, she should be in soon.” You nodded, cooing at the baby to try and stop her cries. You motioned for Nikki to come inside, letting her take a spare seat beside your bed, looking down at Lily with a watery smile.

There was a knock on your hospital room door a few minutes later, opening just slightly for the woman to pop her head around and announce her presence.

“Hi y/n.” You looked up, spotting the nurse and giving her a warm smile. “Are you ready to try and feed her?” 

You nodded your head, Harry’s eyes widening when he realised what was happening and that you would have to partly undress.

“I’ll wait outside.” He offered, trying to be a gentleman.

“Oh, are you sure?” You didn’t mind Harry being here while you fed Lily, but you respected that he might feel uncomfortable. He kissed your head before leaving the room, going to update his brothers on how everything was going.

Feeding Lily for the first time was a strange experience, but you were glad you had Nikki and the midwife by your side to tell you it was completely normal and you would eventually get used to it.

After feeding, burping and rocking the girl to sleep, Harry came back in, switching with his mother to take the place beside your bed. Nikki kissed your head in a motherly way and decided to leave to let you sleep.

“Nikki, if you want to go home, you can.” You said, feeling bad to make the family wait with you.

“Are you sure, we can always stay?” You smiled and nodded.

“I’ll have to stay here until tomorrow anyway, i’ll come straight to you.” She nodded, bidding you, Lily and her son goodbye.

You and Harry both sat in silence for a few minutes, just watching the baby in your arms sleep peacefully. Harry was, once again, first to break the silence.

“Why don’t you get some sleep, in the nicest way possible, y’look exhausted.” Harry commented, stroking his fingers through your hair as your eyes fought to stay open. Lily sleeping calmly in your arms.

“Don’t wanna miss a second.” You whined, looking over at Harry with a pout he found adorable.

“I'll watch her, I promise.” You nodded reluctantly, Harry carefully took the baby wrapped in the fluffy, white blanket into his arms, listening to your instructions on how to hold her properly, then assisting you in getting comfortable on the hospital bed.

For the next few hours, Harry stayed mesmerised with the newborn in his arms, while you got some well deserved sleep after an extremely long day. 

<<<<>>>>

Harry drove you to the Holland house before driving you home from the hospital the next morning, watching you be completely entranced with your little creation. You were so careful with every movement you made, trying not to scare or overwhelm her. 

She was properly introduced to each of the Holland siblings, giving the boys the chance to hold her and just talk to her. The whole thing turned out to be a lot more chaotic than you would have originally anticipated.

“Where does my hand go?” Tom asked frantically. You guided one to the back of her head and then the other to hold her back. You told Tom he was doing perfect, calming his nerves slightly.

Paddy was much less of a nightmare than Tom, not even needing the help to position his hands. He looked in awe of the tiny human that was staring up at him, his heart all fuzzy and excited.

Sam was a pro, clearly having held many babies in his lifetime, probably because of all the Holland siblings he could be trusted the most with a human life. “She’s gorgeous, y/n.” Harry and Tom nodded, Paddy still not taking his eyes off the girl in his brother's arms.

Nikki cried while getting to finally hold Lily, her heart swelling with pride. You were practically a daughter to her and she couldn’t find the words to explain how proud she was of you. Harry watched your eyes grow heavier and heavier, deciding it was time to take you back to your own home now. They were all reluctant to let you leave, making you promise you’d be back as soon as possible, which of course you were more than happy to do.

Driving back to your own home, you were filled with the excitement of the idea of introducing Lily into the place she’d grow up.

It didn’t take long to get there, Harry helping to carry your stuff inside while you cradled your babygirl. 

“This is your home Lily.” Harry watched you both, practically with heart eyes bulging from his head. You showed Lily around some more. You were fully aware that she didn’t understand anything you were saying, but you were hoping that just your voice was capable of soothing the girl. Harry was carrying your hospital bag with him as you led him to the nursery.

You had some hesitations about leaving her in a separate room from you, knowing that she’d need you multiple times in the night anyway.

“Would it be too much trouble to put her crib in my room?” You asked him, hoping he’d be able to move it for you. He shook his head no, taking your bag to your room first. When he came back with the crib you could see he was visibly struggling to get it through the door. You felt bad for laughing, but watching Harry struggle like this just seemed to crack you up.

“I’m glad you find this funny.” He muttered sarcastically, pushing his curls out of his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered through your giggles, rubbing Lily’s back.

The crib was rolled into place a little space away from your bed, letting you lay your baby girl down on the soft fabric of the blanket inside.

“There we go.” You watched the girl quickly fall asleep in her new crib, your heart warm and happy. Harry sat beside you, shoulders and thighs touching you were that close.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Incredible, I never thought i could love someone so much.” He couldn’t help but smile at you, you looked perfect to him right now. The dopey smile never left your face, the same giddy feeling sitting in the pit of your stomach since the night before. A small yawn escaped your lips, Harry thinking it was the cutest sound ever.

“You tired?” He asked. You nodded, laying your head on his shoulder.

“Come on.” You furrowed your eyebrows, tilting your head like a confused puppy.

“What?” You asked, rubbing your tired eyes.

“Get some sleep, you’ve had a long day.” He kissed your head. You checked on Lily one more time. 

“What if she needs me?”

“She doesn’t need you right now, at least get some sleep while you still can.” You sighed before you climbed into bed, already in pyjamas. You pulled your covers up over your body, right up to your chin and almost passed out as soon as your head hit the soft pillow, not realising you were this unbelievably tired.

“Will you stay?” You asked quietly, the idea of being without him seeming to scare you slightly. Harry smiled, nodding his head, laying down beside you. You cuddled into his side, resting your head on his chest comfortably.

“Sweet dreams y/n.” You hummed, nuzzling your face in his warm hoodie.

“Love you, Harry.” You mumbled. He blushed, a silly smile spreading on his face.

“Love you more.” He mumbled, right as you drifted off.

Just as you had suspected, Lily needed you sooner than your body appreciated, seeing as from the time on the clock you’d only been asleep a couple of hours. You woke up to the sound of her cries from the crib, pushing yourself up out of bed and shuffling over to her.

“Oh no, you’re okay.” You hadn’t realised that you’d woken Harry in your haste to get to Lily, the male stretching his muscles, confused himself about when he had fallen asleep.

“She okay?” He asked, voice raspy and full of sleep.

“ ‘m not sure.” You’d already checked her nappy, finding it clean, your next thought being that she was hungry.

“Do you mind if i try and feed her?” Harry was slightly taken back, eyes wide, reduced to a stuttering mess as he thought about you having your bare chest exposed in front of him.

“No, of course, s-she needs to eat, go ahead.” He turned his head away to give you some privacy, finding anything else to put his focus on. He heard you huff, a small whimper coming from you as well.

“Everything okay?” He asked, hearing you sniffle.

“She won’t latch on.” You complained, pulling your shirt up and cradling Lily to your chest. He knew you well enough to know you were getting stressed, not knowing how to help her.

“Can i try?” He asked, noticing the tears welled up in your waterline. You nodded your head, assisting Harry in taking Lily into his arms. 

He cooed at the small baby, shushing her and holding her head just under his chin. It didn’t take long for her cries to begin to quieten down, Harry’s scent or presence must have had a strong effect on her because she was calm again in a few minutes.

You didn’t have the energy to be sad or mad that Harry was able to handle her better than you already. You simply rested your chin on his shoulder, kissing his cheek as a thank you.

“You go back to sleep, I'll hold her just a little bit longer.” You nodded sleepily, climbing back into your bed and falling to sleep with the knowledge that Lily was in perfectly good hands.

“You’re okay, aren’t you?” The girl blinked up at him, her eyes curious as she watched the curly haired man talk. She obviously didn’t understand a word he was saying, but that didn’t matter now that she was calm and happy.

“Goodnight Lily.” He carefully placed her down in the crib, watching over her until she drifted off. Harry climbed into your bed as quietly as he could, trying his hardest to not wake you with all the movement.

He froze when you rolled over, accepting your warmth as you cuddled back into his side like you were earlier.

“Is she okay?” You asked, half awake.

“She’s perfect.”

It was officially only days before christmas and Lily was already almost 2 weeks old, which you couldn’t believe. You’d gotten help to make sure you had everything prepared present wise, but you and Lily were going to spend actual Christmas day with the Hollands.

A sudden distressed cry woke you from your sleep, pushing yourself out of your bed to tend to your babygirl. You moved around to the other side of your bed, your baby looking at you with teary eyes and a red face.

“Oh, there’s my little angel.” You gently lifted her from her crib, holding her against your chest and gently stroking her back. You bounced her gently, pressing kisses to her head to try and soothe her.

“You’re okay.” She continued to wail in your ear, your heart aching for your precious girl.

“You hungry darling?” You looked at her distressed face, taking a seat on your bed, lifting your shirt up to let her latch on.

You sighed, leaning your head back and glancing at the time on your phone screen. 4:23am.

“We’re gonna have to get you a better sleep schedule baby.” After she was done feeding, you carefully laid her back down in her crib, watching over her for a few minutes to make sure she was okay, before climbing back into bed yourself. You were out like a light the second your head hit your pillow, you were utterly exhausted.

The next morning you were woken again by loud babbles from Lily, checking the time and seeing it was almost 10am.

You sighed, pushing yourself out of bed and scooping the girl up in your arms. Harry would be coming over soon anyway. You changed Lily’s nappy and dressed her in a fluffy purple onesie, making your way into your living room to set her down in the kitchen, so you could make breakfast.

“Y/n?” You called back with a ‘hey’, letting Harry know where you were. 

He entered the kitchen with a smile, moving over to the little baby to give her some affection.

“There's my favourite little girl.” She babbled, reaching up to try and touch his face. He carefully picked her up out of her high chair, pressing kisses to her cheeks and having a mini conversation with her. At least as best he could considering she didn’t understand anything he was saying.

“So, how’s it going being a mum?” Harry asked, entranced with the girl in his arms who was grabbing at his fingers.

“I adore her but,” You paused, seeing Harry look up in concern at the ‘but’. “I’m so stressed and sleep deprived.” Harry could see how tense you were, he’d noticed how tired you looked when he first came in, but he didn’t want to sound rude.

“I didn’t realise it’d be this hard by myself.” You complained.

“Let me look after her for a few hours,” He offered. “Go and catch up on some sleep.” You were hesitant, feeling bad to burden him with Lily, but also growing slightly protective over her.

“She’ll be okay, would i ever let you down?” You shook your head, thanking him.

“Be good for Harry.” You kissed her head, Harry pouting when he didn’t get a forehead kiss too.

“Anyone would think you’re the newborn.” He grinned, accepting your kiss with a smile.

“Have a good sleep.”

“Thank you,” A lightbulb went off in your head, realising he didn’t know what to do. You turned back around to tell him and he simply rolled his eyes. “If she cries, there’s a bottle in the fridge, just heat it up, nappies are in in her nursery and-“

“I’ll be fine, if I need any help I'll call my mum.” You nodded, taking a deep breath before heading to bed to catch up on lots of missed sleep.

“Looks like it’s just me and you now.” Harry spoke to the girl. The two had a fairly enjoyable time together, Harry in love with everything she did and the girl in awe of him. It was hours later that you were trudging into the living room looking much more refreshed. Harry was sitting on the couch, Lily against his chest while the curly haired man talked to her.

“How did it go?” You asked, taking a seat next to them and resting your head on Harry’s shoulder.

“She was a perfect angel, didn’t cry once.” He boasted. You grinned, stroking her chubby cheek.

“Thank you for helping me, my hero.” You kissed his cheek, watching Lily scrunch up his shirt in her tiny fist. It wasn’t long before your bub began to get uncomfortable, beginning to cry her small heart out.

“I think she’s finally ready for her nap.” You carefully lifted her off of Harry’s chest, taking her over to the bassinet you kept in your living room. You laid her down, hovering over her for a few minutes to make sure she knew you were there.

“Go to sleep hunny, I know you’re tired.” You watched her eyes flutter shut, content with the world around her.

“And then there were two.” You said, sitting down next to Harry again. He yawned and stretched his arms above his head.

“I mean, I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted after watching her.” You huffed.

“Don’t leave me yet.” You begged, staring at him with puppy dog eyes.

“Can I just nap here?” He asked, watching you think about it.

“I guess so.” You said, Harry scoffing at how unamused you sounded. You flashed him a cheeky grin, motioning for him to lay his head on your lap.

“Here.” You handed him a fluffy blanket that you usually kept on the back of your couch, throwing it over his body to keep him warm. You spent the next hour stroking through his curls, watching him sleep peacefully with the comfort of your warmth. With your other hand you just scrolled through your phone, not wanting to disturb Harry with the sounds of the tv.

He eventually started to shift, signalling to you that he was waking up. His hair was messy and he looked absolutely adorable, staring up at you with tired eyes.

“Thank you.” He mumbled. Nuzzling his face into your hoodie material.

“Always.” 

<<<<>>>>

3 days later and it was officially Christmas day, you were getting Lily’s stuff together to head over to the Hollands. You had already taken presents over a few days earlier, just so today you only had to bring yourself and your baby.

The drive over to the Holland household was quite pleasant. There was soft christmas music playing in the background, with the bubbly feeling of excitement in the pit of your stomach.

Getting out of the warmth of your car, you were hit with the freezing december weather, rubbing your hands together for warmth.

Lily was quick to protest at the change in temperature with a small uncomfortable cry, her chubby cheeks turning a soft pink shade as the cold hit her.

Your cold knuckles knocked on the front door of the house, a shiver running through your body.

You wrapped Lily’s coat around her tighter, pulling her little hat down and doing everything you could to protect her from the blistering cold. The door to the Holland house opened a few minutes later to a smiley Harry. Welcoming you inside.

“There’s my favourite girl.” Harry said, taking Lily from your arms and cradling her close to his warmth. You scowled at him playfully.

“Me or her?” You asked, teasing your best friend. “Be careful with your answer.” 

“You, obviously.” He stated, like it was a fact. When you nodded, seemingly satisfied, he leaned in close to Lily, his mouth close to her tiny ear.

“I lied, it’s definitely you.” He whispered to the girl, tickling her to make her giggle. You scoffed.

“I heard that, Holland.” He laughed, sending you a teasing wink.

You followed him into the living room, seeing the other Holland’s scattered around doing various things.

“We have visitors.” Harry announced, motioning to you. Sam was quick to practically snatch Lily, peppering her cheek with soft kisses.

“Merry christmas y/n!” Nikki said, pulling you into a tight hug. You said it back, thanking her for letting you crash their Christmas day.

“You’re always welcome.” Tom was next to pull you into a hug, ruffling your hair like an older brother would. 

“Did I hear y/n?” Paddy asked, slipping into the living room to look for you.

“Hi, little man.” The nickname caused him to groan, it’d been something you’d called him for years, even after he passed you in height.

“I’m taller than you.” You rolled your eyes, pulling him into a hug.

“And I don’t care.” You simply stated. You watched Lily receive all the affection she could ever ask for, babbling incoherent things. 

“Can we open presents now?” Paddy asked, motioning to the pile under the tree.

“You didn’t have to wait for me.” You whined, feeling bad that the teenager was unable to have a normal christmas morning.

“You’re here now, so let’s get started!” Paddy announced. You stifled a laugh, nodding your head. You watched with a smile as the lads fussed Lily, helping her rip open the wrapping paper on her presents.

“Come here a second.” Harry said, tapping your shoulder. He took your hand and lead you away from his family.

“This is for Lily.” You playfully rolled your eyes at your best friend.

“It better not be another stuffed animal, she has too many already.” You joked. Harry shook his head with a small grin, telling you to just open it. Harry had pulled you over to a more quiet part of the living room to give you this, not wanting his brothers to see or hear.

“A blanket?” You asked, looking at him in confusion. A blush rose to his cheeks. He showed you the space where Lily’s name was engraved in, only confusing you further.

“I don’t get it- why did we have to open it separately?” You asked.

“I-i may have made it.” He stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. You awed, finding it cute that he’d go through so much trouble for you.

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not.” You argued. “I think it’s adorable.” You said, squeezing his cheek playfully.

“I didn’t really know what to get her so-“

“Harry, this is perfect, thank you.” 

After all the presents came the part all the Holland boys were the most excited about; christmas dinner.

They practically ran to the dining room when Nikki announced it was ready, taking their seats at the table and digging into their plates like animals.

“You’re like savages.” Nikki muttered, receiving a laugh from you as you dug into your own food. Every now and then you’d alternate between eating and amusing Lily so she wouldn’t cry.

You pinched her cheek gently, wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth with a napkin.

“Such a messy baby.” You said. She just babbled, showing you her gummy smile that made your heart flutter.

“A bit like Harry.” Sam said, receiving a slap to the arm from his twin. You laughed at the two, leaving your angel to finish up the last bits of your meal.

After dessert Nikki turned down your offer to help clean up, forcing one of her boys to do it instead. Tom groaned, trailing to the kitchen with some dirty dishes in his hands, muttering complaints on the way.

“Nikki, that was amazing, thank you.” She smiled, kissing your head as she walked by. The table was disturbed when your little bub began to cry, you being able to recognise that she was crying for food.

“I think she’s hungry.” You pouted, lifting her up into your arms.

“Go feed her, we’ll sort this.” Sam said, motioning to the table that needed clearing.

“Are you sure?” You asked, feeling slightly bad.

“Unless Harry’s going to grow boobs and feed her, I'm pretty sure you’re the only one that can.” Harry slapped his twin upside the head, calling him an idiot. You just laughed, making your way up the stairs to feed your precious angel.

<<<<>>>>

“I really enjoyed today, thank you.” Harry squeezed your shoulders gently.

“We’re all glad you were both here.” The two of you continued to get ready for bed, you also getting Lily into her onesie. The three of you would be sharing Harry’s bed in his childhood room for the night, having to make sure Lily stayed safe between you both.

You climbed under the covers, next to your already sleeping daughter. You had a smile gracing your face, one that Harry couldn’t help but completely adore.

“Goodnight Harry, merry christmas.” You whispered, laying your arm over Lily gently to make sure she’d be safe.

“Merry christmas y/n.” 

“Tom, what am I going to do for the twins' birthday, I have no idea what to get for them.” You complained down the phone, collapsing on your bed. Tom sighed on the other end of the phone, running his hand over his face, exasperated.

“I’m having the same problem.” He huffed sadly.

“We don’t have long either.” You reasoned, glancing at the date on your calendar, which read the 10th.

“Do you want to go out at some point, look for some presents together?” He asked. You sat up, eyes widening.

“Yeah, I think that’d be a perfect idea.” You said excitedly.

“We’ll need to talk about the party too, mum’s been shouting at me to plan something as soon as possible.” You giggled.

“Yeah, we can do that.”

You and Tom planned when and where you were going to go, the male telling you how excited he was to see Lily again, especially after not seeing her for the past few days because of how busy he’s been with work.

“Are you more excited to see Lily than me?” You asked, feigning offense.

“You have an adorable baby, can you really blame me?” You rolled your eyes.

“No not really.” You laughed.

“So, i’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked, checking with you.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Just like he promised, Tom was knocking on your door the next day, announcing he was ready to take you and Lily out shopping. You kissed Lily’s head, walking to the door and opening it for your friend, welcoming him in. He was quick to take the angel out of your arms, giving her sweet kisses all over her face while you zipped up her tiny coat. The girl babbled happily, making you smile as you got her stuff together. 

“You ready to go?” He asked. You nodded, letting him be the one to lay Lily down in her pram. 

The two of you had agreed on walking to your destination. The walk was pleasant, the two of you having the chance to catch up on everything you’ve missed, and for Tom to catch up on everything he’d missed with your little bub.

You wrapped the tiny coat and blanket tighter around Lily in her pram, trying to shield her from the cold February air. Tom smiled at the bubbly baby, wrapping his own coat around himself tighter.

“She looks so cute.” He pointed out, poking her chubby cheeks gently. You giggled, nodding your head. She basically only looked like a little chubby head under all the layers.

“Now, let’s go.” You announced, dragging Tom towards the shops where you were going to find your presents for the Holland boys. He led you straight to a jewellery shop, wanting to look at the expensive watches they had to offer.

“Tom, you can’t be serious.” You said, watching him gawk at the very pricey rolex.

“Why not?” He asked teasingly. You shook your head at him, deciding to look around. You noticed Lily was staring at the way the jewels and sparkles would shine when they caught the light, the baby completely entranced. You carefully picked her up, keeping the blanket wrapped around her so she didn’t get cold. You pointed out the shiny metals, talking to her quietly as she stared amazed.

“I think she’s enjoying herself.” Tom mumbled coming up behind you, getting a nod in response.

“Did you buy the watch?” You asked. Tom lifted the bag, an eye roll coming from you.

“Gonna split it with my mum and dad, promise.” 

“Now you have to help me.” 

You and Tom forgot to anticipate that paps would take any opportunity to catch you two together, to use pictures for false, shocking headlines.

The two of you didn’t even realise, too focused on finding the perfect birthday presents for the twins. You had enjoyed the majority of your day, forgetting how fun it was to spend time with him.

It was only when you got multiple messages from Harry, sending you screenshots of the headline that stated:

‘Tom Holland’s secret family spotted out in London together.”

The picture was of you and Tom laughing, the male pushing Lily’s pram, beaming down at her.

You were completely over it. You barely even wanted to show Tom. He was finally getting a break, showing Lily all the cute teddy bears. He loved hearing the girl laugh from the second she learned how to. 

“Tom?” You called, watching his head turn around to look at you, a large smile on his face and the almost 2 month old babbling happily in his arms. You handed him your phone, seeing his face drop and him sigh angrily. 

“Just ignore it, I’ll get someone on it later.” You nodded, wrapping your arms around his waist and squeezing him. You laid your head on his shoulder, welcoming the friendly kiss he placed on your head.

“Now, let me buy my adorable niece a teddy bear and we can actually get what we came for.” You giggled, rolling your eyes at the idea of more stuffed toys coming into your flat. After Tom bought her the bear, she wouldn’t let it go, her tiny hands clinging on to it as Tom carried her throughout the next shop you visited.

You thankfully did end up finding a present for both Harry and Sam. Your gift to Sam was rather simple, just some things he could use for cooking. However, your gift to Harry was a lot more meaningful. Every time you’d been out together over the last few months, Harry had eyed the same new camera in a shop window. You knew how badly he wanted it, but he was so attached to his current camera that he would never buy it for himself. So, you decided to give him a little push, buying it for him to surprise him on his birthday.

Nothing much else really happened with the whole press situation, until you got home that was, finding Harry waiting by your flat door.

“Oh hi, I didn’t know you were coming over.” He helped you get the pram through the door, waiting awkwardly while you put Lily down for her nap, even if she slept a lot while you were out.

“So, to what do I owe the honour?” You asked light heartedly. You were in a rather good mood after spending a fun day with one of your oldest friends. You grabbed a bottle of water and turned to face Harry with a smile.

“Why were you with Tom?” He asked, rather viciously too. Your smile dropped, tilting your head in confusion.

“What?” 

“Well you’re part of his secret family now so-“ You sighed.

“Can we please not talk about this?” He reluctantly nodded, the two of you standing in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Harry broke the silence again, something he was always good at doing.

“Why were you out with Tom, doing- whatever that headline said.” You rolled your eyes, annoyed that you were talking about this again.

“Are you in love with him or something!” It physically hurt Harry to even ask, the idea that the girl of his dreams was in love with his brother instead of him.

“Harry, you’re being ridiculous.” You muttered. He huffed angrily.

“I’m being ridiculous, really?” His voice was slowly growing louder.

“It’s ridiculous that we’re still talking about this.” You complained. 

“Why won’t you tell me what was going on?” He asked.

“Harry, please quieten down, I don't want Lily to wake up.” You begged. He ran his hands over his face, breathing deeply.

“Stop ignoring the question, are you in love with Tom, yes or no?” You heard a loud wail, your heart dropping as you started to make your way towards the nursery.

“Y/n!” You turned around and glared at him.

“Harry, I’m in love with you, you idiot, not Tom.” Harry gasped, through your anger you hadn’t even realised your slip up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a crying baby to go and help.” Harry stared at you in shock as you walked away. 

He was frozen in his spot, processing the last few minutes over again in his head. He cursed himself, walking in a haste over to the nursery.

He knocked on the open door, watching you cradle a crying Lily before entering.

You didn’t acknowledge him, but he knew he could talk and you would hopefully listen.

“I’m sorry for waking her.” Harry watched as you bounced the girl in your arms, holding her to your chest.

“S’okay.” You whispered.

“So, we need to talk about what you said.” You sighed, tears springing to your eyes at the memory of your accidental confession, fear filling your body.

“Let me just put her down, then we can.” He nodded, leaving you to go and take a seat in the living room. Once Lily was calm and sleeping again, you laid her down in her crib, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself. 

“I can do this.” You hyped yourself up. You entered your living room and found Harry sitting there, nervously wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans.

“Hi.” You mumbled quietly, secretly hoping he wouldn’t hear you. Harry’s head whipped in your direction, so fast you were surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash. He gave you a tight lipped smile, motioning for you to take a seat beside him.

“Look I-“

“I shouldn’t have-“ You both began speaking at the same time, laughing quietly.

“You go first.” You said, not really wanting to talk about your feelings straight away, especially with it still being a mystery about how Harry feels.

“You know I’ve always been intimidated by Tom and you know, you’re my best friend not his.” He whined, sounding quite like a child, “I’m sorry for snapping.” You nodded understandingly, taking his hand into yours. Your fingers laced together like it was completely natural.

“We were just shopping for birthday presents for you and Sam.” You whispered, seeing the frown take over his face. 

“I’m so sorry.” He apologised. You were quick to forgive him, just like you always were. You found it impossible to be mad at him when he was just so adorable.

“So, what did you need to tell me?” He said, filling you with dread.

“Please don’t make me repeat it, i’m already nervous.” You huffed, looking at him for any sign of mercy. He grinned.

“I’m in love with you too.” He ran his fingers through your hair gently, tucking it behind your ear.

“Why are we like this?” He asked. 

“We’ve just been completely oblivious.” You said, turning to watch him. He shuffled closer, thighs touching in a comforting way.

You rested your foreheads together, laughing quietly as you looked at eachother. The heat of the moment suddenly took over and you were both leaning in, your lips connecting in a sweet first kiss, one that had been building up for the last 11 years. Your lips molded together, your hands coming up to tug at Harry’s curls. One of his hands cupped your jaw, trying to pull you impossibly closer to him.

“Harry-“ You mumbled, trying to pull away. He whined, shaking his head and pushing on the back of your neck to connect your lips again.

You hummed, tugging on his hair a little too tightly to pull his head back.

“What was that for?” He pouted, chasing your lips to try and pull you back into another kiss. Your heart fluttered.

“Why did we wait so long to do this?” You asked, running your fingertips over the short curls on the back of his head, trying to soothe the sore spot you’d tugged on.

“Cause we're idiots.” He muttered with a cheeky smile, shrugging his shoulders simply. You giggled, nodding your head.

“I know things aren’t as easy as it’d normally be, you know with Lily but-“

“Harry, you’re basically her dad at this point.” You stated. Realising what you said might freak him out, you felt the need to elaborate. “I-i mean, you spend so much time with her, she loves you.” He smiled, a soft blush coating his cheeks.

“Really?” You nodded. He grinned uncontrollably, lifting his hand to stroke your cheek with his thumb.

“Do you maybe, want to give us a go?” He asked.

“Not if that’s how you’re going to ask.” You sassed, jokingly of course. His face fell, shaking his head.

“Right, uh.” He lifted his head, looking directly into your eyes. “Y/n Y/l/n, will you be my girlfriend?” 

Your heart fluttered, hearing the words you’d wanted to hear for so long.

“Harry Holland,” You said, cupping his cheek with your hand, stroking your thumb along his cheekbone. “I would like nothing more.” 

“Where’s Lily?” He asked breathlessly, pulling off his jacket and tossing it somewhere in your room. You giggled, barely even registering his question when his lips brushed your neck, tickling the sensitive skin.

“Her uncles wanted to spend some quality time with her.” You explained. He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, not understanding what you meant. “She’s with Tom and Paddy, they wanted to take her for the night.” He groaned, a bright smile spreading across his face. “So, we’re completely alone.” You said suggestively.

“I’ve never been more grateful to have brothers than right now.” You laughed, feeling him nip at your chest.

“Uh-uh.” You said, brushing your thumb over his bottom lip. “No marks though, unless you’re willing to explain where I got them.” You breathed, already noticing a few start to bloom on your chest.

“Good point.” He hummed, leaning in to kiss you. The kiss was vastly different from Harry’s quick movements only seconds ago. It was slow and passionate, like you both had all the time in the world to show each other this kind of affection.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, brushing some stray hair from your face.

“Yeah, been wanting to do this for years.” You admitted.

Yours and Harry’s night included multiple rounds of fun after gaining both of your consent, taking full advantage of not having to focus on your daughter right now. 

“We should not have waited that long to do that.” You said, completely breathless as Harry collapsed to your side, letting his head hit the pillow. He chuckled from beside you, letting you cuddle into his side, ignoring how sweaty you both were. 

“Get some sleep, you seem like you need it.” He said. “Looks like I wore you out.” He teased. You scoffed, weakly hitting his chest.

“You need it more than me old man.” He gasped, feigning offense as you both burst into a fit of giggles.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom first, I’ll be back soon handsome.” You weren’t gone for long, not wanting to be away from Harry’s body for too long. You simply did your business and then headed back.

On your way back into your room you saw Harry’s eyes drooping, looking like he was about to pass out from exhaustion any second.

“You’re so cute when you’re tired.” You commented, crawling back into your bed and cuddling up into his side, your head laying on his chest. He nuzzled his face on the top of your head, sighing.

“You’re like a puppy.” You said, seeing his face screw up in disagreement. “You are.” You giggled.

“Shh, go to sleep.” He said tiredly, holding his finger to your lips to keep you quiet. You rolled your eyes, kissing his finger to make him sleepily giggle.

“Goodnight.” He just hummed in response, too tired to even respond.

You slept incredibly that night. Whether it was just because you’d been worn out, or if it was because you were in Harry’s warm hold, you didn’t find yourself stirring until the late hours of the morning.

Harry seemed to already be awake, staring out of your bedroom window at the morning sky from the comfort of your bed.

“Morning.” You mumbled, kissing his chest softly. He turned his head, smiling down at you. He ran the back of his hand over your cheek, then his thumb over your bottom lip. You leaned up, kissing him slowly before pulling back.

“Good morning.” He greeted. The two of you laid together still in bliss of your previous events until the last minute you could, your naked front rested against Harrys, his hand stroking over the expanse of your back, while your hand rested on his chest.

“So, are you coming to mine and Sam’s party?” He asked, tracing random shapes on the small of your bare back. You copied the shapes he traced on your back and traced them onto his own skin, a small truly happy smile on your lips. You placed a gentle kiss on his chest before shuffling to rest your chin on the same spot.

“Of course, I wouldn't miss it.” You refrained from telling him about the part where you were actually going to help plan said party. He looked down at you, raising his hand to brush some of your tangled hair out of your face. The two of you just stared at each other for a while, admiring one another’s features.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered. He felt your body grow hot, laughing to himself at how he could make you so easily flustered. He kept showering you with compliments just to see you get more and more embarrassed, your cheeks growing even more pink with each and every compliment. You buried your head in his chest, your arms coming around his stomach to hug him tightly.

“Stop.” You whined. His hand moved up to thread in your hair, stroking your head with a small smile. The air changed between you two, leaning up you pressed your lips on his, kissing him with the same passion you’d kissed him with during your first kiss last night.

“Oh, are we doing this again?” He asked. You giggled, nodding your head. You climbed into his lap, straddling him, feeling his hands secure themselves around your thighs.

Harry grew impatient, leaning in to capture your lips in another mind-blowing kiss. Your hands were cupping the back of his neck, trying to pull him impossibly closer. 

You heard a sudden knock on your front door, forgetting about the plans you had for today, Harry pulling away from your lips to ask if you wanted to get it. You shook your head, pushing your lips back on his. You giggled when Harry bit your lip teasingly, hearing another loud knock from on your door. You groaned, Harry resting his forehead on yours.

“Do you need to get that?” He asked, just making sure.

“Just ignore it, they’ll go away.” You muttered, relishing in the feeling of Harry’s hands on your body. Your kiss didn’t last much longer, hearing the front door open and the voice of your friend echoe around the flat.

“Y/n, i’m here.” Your eyes widened, glancing at the time and quickly jumping off of your boyfriend to throw on some clothes. You pulled on underwear and a hoodie, noticing Harry wasn’t moving.

“Get dressed.” You whisper yelled, throwing his clothes at him. He furrowed his eyebrows but listened, getting dressed in a haste, not wanting to be caught butt-naked in your bedroom by your unexpected visitor.

“Who is that?” He mouthed. You whispered back a quiet ‘Harrison’ and he furrowed his eyebrows, silently questioning why Harrison was in your flat.

“Y/n?” You heard his footsteps growing closer to your room.

“Shit.” You cursed, beginning to panic. You shoved your boyfriend in your bathroom, apologising profusely as you closed the door. There was a knock on your bedroom door.

“Y/n, can I come in?” He asked. You finished buttoning up your jeans, quickly checking yourself over in the mirror.

“Uh, yeah, come on in.” He opened the door, flashing you a smile.

“Tom’s on his way with Lily, do you want to talk about the plans for the party now or-“ Your eyes widened, not wanting Harry to hear about any of the plans.

“We’ll wait for Tom, but um, do you mind just getting me Lily’s feeding blanket from the nursery.” You asked. “She’ll probably be hungry when she gets here.” He nodded, leaving your room to go next door. You opened the bathroom door, motioning for Harry to come out quietly.

“The plans for the party, huh, what party would that be?” He teased. You slapped his arm, giving him a quick kiss and telling him he needed to leave quietly.

“Am I seeing you tonight?” He asked, sneaking in one final kiss as he checked Harrison wasn’t there. 

“Yeah, come over around 8?” You suggested. He nodded, grinning before sneaking out to the living room. You followed him out, just in case you had to hide him again.

“Hey, y/n?” Your eyes widened, pushing Harry to hide behind your couch where no one could see him. You heard him quietly groan in pain, trying to mask the laugh you wanted to let out.

“Yeah?” Harrison popped his head out of the nursery, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“I can’t find it, do you have any idea where it is?” He asked. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the pink blanket sitting on the sofa, quickly pushing it out of sight when he wasn’t looking.

“Try looking in the wardrobe, it might’ve gotten caught up with her clothes.” He nodded, heading back in. You let out a breath, motioning for Harry to go as quickly as he could.

“That hurt.” He pouted. You smiled sheepishly, pecking his lips and pushing him in the direction of the door.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.” He kissed your lips one last time before slipping on his shoes and rushing out of your flat. You took a deep breath, grabbing the blanket and calling for Harrison. He came back out of the room empty handed, apologising before noticing the fabric sitting in your hands.

“I am so sorry, it got lost in some clothes I need to put away.” You motioned to the pile of folded clothes on the table, smiling sheepishly. He laughed, shaking his head.

“Don’t worry about it, at least you found it.” You smiled gratefully, feeling slightly bad that you were lying to your friends.

Within the next half an hour Tom had shown up with your baby girl, announcing his presence obnoxiously loudly when he entered the room.

“There’s my angel.” You said, lifting Lily out of Tom’s arms to pepper her face with kisses. She babbled at you, your heart exploding when she tried to reach for you. 

You settled her against your chest, her head resting on your shoulder, the material of your shirt scrunched up in her tiny fist.

“Was she okay?” You asked, watching Tom take Lily’s things out of her pram.

“She was perfect, she cried a little through the night but I got her down again.” He said, smiling at the little baby, who’d moved on to playing with your necklace.

“Make yourself comfortable.” You smiled, motioning to where Harrison was already laying on your couch like it was his own home.

“Thank you, kind sir.” He teased, joining his best friend. You rolled your eyes at them, taking a seat on the singular arm chair, your girl sitting happily in your lap.

“So, we should start with where it’s happening.” Tom said.

It ended up being decided that Nikki and Dom would host the party at the boy’s childhood home. Tom and Paddy were going to help decorate, while you, Lily and Harrison would distract the twins, purely because you two could keep a secret, unlike Tom.

Like children, the two lads managed to get distracted easily, seeing which of the two could punch each other first, which you thought was absolutely ridiculous.

“Is that everything?” You asked, having to snap the two out of their little moment. The two nodded their heads sheepishly under your gaze, the same look they’d received from their own mothers countless times.

They stayed and talked for a while, feeling bad to just leave you by yourself for the rest of the day. However Tom did receive a few texts from his mum, asking what was going on.

“Well we should get going, gotta tell everyone else the plan of action.” You nodded your head, hugging them both. 

For the rest of the day you simply sorted the chores that Harry prevented you from doing by taking up all your time.

When the clock hit eight you prepared yourself for Harry’s arrival.

Not too much longer after that you heard a quiet knock on your door that made you smile, opening it rather quickly to find your boyfriend standing there with bags of junk food in his hands.

“I stopped at the chinese on the way, thought you’d enjoy it.” You grinned, just looking at him in complete adoration.

“I missed you.” You giggled when he pressed his lips all over your face, finally stopping when he reached your lips.

“You saw me this morning.” You said. Harry chose to ignore you, setting the food down on the kitchen island.

“Is she here?” He asked, a wide smile on his face. You rolled your eyes and nodded, leading him to the nursery where Lily was fast asleep. He awed quietly.

“She’s so cute.” He whined.

“She should be, I made her.” You teased. He laughed, shaking his head at you.

“That explains it.” He said, squeezing your cheeks together with an adorable giggle.

The two of you spent the majority of the rest of the night in each other's arms. You ate and then watched countless films, cuddled up under a fluffy blanket on your couch, while Lily was sleeping undisturbed in her room.

He noticed you yawn a few times, prompting him to ask if you were tired.

“Are you tired?” He whispered, affectionately nuzzing your cheek with his adorable nose. You nodded your head, shifting more onto your side so you could cling to him. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” He mumbled, ignoring your pitiful whine when helping you up. 

Harry did it all for you, practically carrying you to your bedroom, helped you get into comfy clothes, tied your hair back, took off your makeup and even helped you brush your teeth when you were too tired. Your heart soared every time he did even the smallest of tasks, feeling like you’d melt into a puddle of adoration for the man when he finally helped you into bed.

“Goodnight y/n.” You smiled lazily, resting your cheek against the soft material of his t-shirt covered back. Your arm came up and wrapped around his waist, so you were spooning him for a change.

“Night Harry.” 

And just like the night before, you slept soundly in his arms.

<<<<>>>>

So on the morning of the 14th, the twins’ birthday and coincidentally valentines day too, you packed up Lily’s things and headed over to the Holland house, knocking gently on the door. Paddy opened it with a smile that only grew when he saw you.

You gave him a quick hug, asking where the twins were. He gave you a quick, unhelpful shrug before immersing himself in playing with your daughter. You could hear the baby squeal loudly as you walked away, calling both of the twins’ names.

“I heard my name.” Sam announced, being taken off guard when you pretty much pounced on him.

“Hey, y/n, good to see you.” You wrapped your arms around Sam, practically suffocating him with your hug.

“Happy birthday.” You said. He laughed in your ear, muttering a thank you before he let go. You opened your mouth to ask him the question he already knew you were going to ask.

“He’s with mum in the living room.” You grinned, nodding your head and practically running off to the living room.

Harry opened his arms to you as soon as he saw your smiley face, letting you sit on his knee to give him a hug.

“Happy birthday.” He thanked you, both of you ignoring the suggestive look from Nikki. The two of you embraced the hug a little bit longer before you finally pulled away first, telling him that he had to come with you.

“Come on.” You laced your fingers in his, pulling him with you to go and find his older brother. You finally found him with Paddy and Lily a few minutes later, explaining to them what you were doing for the day.

“Me and Harrison are taking you both out, so come on, get ready to go.” Sam rolled his eyes at your bossiness, leaving to go and get his shoes. Paddy handed Lily back over to you, quietly whispering he was going to start helping Tom set up.

“You look gorgeous, by the way.” Harry whispered once the youngest Holland was out of sight, checking no one could see before leaning down to kiss you. He quietly told you he’d missed you, and then remembered not to leave Lily out, kissing her chubby cheeks a few times too.

“Harrison should be here any minute.” You explained. He nodded his head, leaving you to slip on some shoes and a jacket. You got Lily ready in her pram, making sure her blanket covered her so she didn’t get cold while out in the winter temperatures.

Harrison arrived and in no time you were all leaving the house. For some reason you’d decided to brace the weather and walk to where you were going to eat, quickly finding out that it wasn’t a very good idea on your parts.

“So, I was thinking, we could go get something to eat,” He suggested, a smirk spreading on his face. “Maybe ditch Haz and Sam, have a romantic meal.” You laughed, rolling your eyes.

“Harry, although it’s your birthday, it’s also Sam’s, and we aren’t ditching him.” You saw him huff and roll his eyes, pouting his bottom lip like a child. The four of you walked until you found a restaurant everyone was happy eating at.

The lads obviously ordered alcohol before anything, disregarding that it was barely even the afternoon. You suppose it was their birthday so you had to let them off, although the same couldn’t be said for the blonde male sitting opposite you.

Harry watched you with heart eyes as you quietly talked to Lily and played with her hands, both of which were holding onto your fingers tightly, the little girl sitting in your lap, trying to grab at everything on the table. Harry jolted upon feeling a sudden harsh pain spreading through his leg, realising his twin had kicked him.

“What was that for, you twat?” He snapped.

“You’re practically drooling.” Harrison said, motioning between you two with his finger.

“Am not.” He mumbled, consciously wiping around his mouth just in case.

For the most part the meal went well. Lily still couldn’t eat solid foods, so unfortunately for her she had to just sit in your lap and behave, which she did perfectly, while everyone else ate. 

Your meal was cut short before you could order any kind of dessert, receiving a text from Nikki to tell you they were ready and to come home.

“Can I carry her?” Harry asked, motioning to the lively girl in your arms. Harrison had generously offered to push the pram for you so you could have a break.

“Of course.” Harry was extra careful when lifting the babe into his arms, kissing her face to hear her laugh.

“She really does love you.” You said, seeing the awe in her gaze as she stared at your boyfriend’s face, admiring his individual features. His heart melted, kissing her head.

“I’m really glad.”

The rest of the way was filled with jokes from the lads, all of which made you laugh until your stomach hurt. 

“Stop.” You whined, feeling Harrison prod your aching stomach teasingly. You still giggled though, despite Harry’s subtle glare at his best friend for touching you. Safe to say he was grumpy for the rest of the walk.

You were back at the Holland house in no time, Harrison taking the lead and heading up to the door first. After you’d all caught up, standing behind him waiting, he pushed open the door, holding his arms out in a ‘voila’ sort of way. The lights flickered on and you were met with ‘happy birthday’ decorations all around.

“Surprise!” You all yelled. Harry and Sam’s eyes widened, happy smiles growing across their faces. Harry was quick to hug you, whispering a thank you in your ear. You would’ve stayed wrapped up in his arms longer if it wasn’t for Lily letting out a loud wail.

“Oh, my baby, the noise must’ve scared her.” You shifted over to her stroller, carefully lifting her out and holding her close to your body.

Harry’s eyes were glued to you, adoring the way your motherly instincts kicked in on the spot.

“Happy birthday, mate.” Tom said, snapping him out of his daze. Harry smiled at his older brother, thanking him while never taking his eyes off you.

“Either tell her how you feel or move on man.” He said, patting his shoulder when he noticed where his gaze was. Harry nodded, flashing his brother a tight lipped smile.

Harry noticed she hadn’t stopped crying, making his way through the people saying happy birthday to him, so he could make it to you.

“She okay?” He asked, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“I think she’s hungry.” You said, motioning for Harry to get you the pink burping blanket out of your bag.

“I’ll be right back.” You promised.

Right after you said that, Harry was swept away by some of his friends he hadn’t seen in a while, persuading him to have a drink with them.

You came back downstairs after feeding Lily confused, not able to find the curly headed boy anywhere.

At some point, Nikki had taken the angel from you, wanting to show her to a few of her friends. You didn’t protest, wanting to give your arms a break from holding the growing girl.

Later on in the evening you found yourself in the kitchen, alone with Harry. You were just trying to get yourself a drink when his arms wrapped around you.

“Feel like I haven’t seen you in so long.” He whined, pressing a kiss to your cheek, trailing them down your jaw.

“Harry, stop.” You giggled, trying to squirm away from the kisses he was placing on your neck. You heard footsteps heading towards the kitchen, shooing Harry off of you. You’d both agreed to keep your relationship a secret for a while, just until you both knew it was going to go well.

“Get off.” You said. He pushed himself away from you, pretending to busy himself with something in the fridge.

“Just coming to get another drink.” Sam said, eyeing you both out of confusion. You smiled at him, nodding your head, continuing to pour your drink into a glass.

“You two are so weird.” He mumbled, taking his drink and leaving the room. You tried to hold back a giggle but evidently ended up bursting into laughter. Harry joined you moments later, shaking his head.

“That was close.” You scolded, gently hitting his arm. You stayed to talk for a while, enjoying getting to be in each other’s company without other people getting in the way, even if the party was partly for Harry.

He smiled when his mum waltzed into the kitchen, giving her a small side hug and thanking her for putting the party together. Your angel babbled in her arms, making grabby hands towards you that you couldn’t resist, carefully taking her from Nikki’s hold. She informed you about the little nap she took while in her arms, making you smile at your girl.

“Everyone’s looking for you.” She told Harry, motioning out to the garden where people were having fun.

“I’ll go in a minute.” He said. However she wasn’t impressed, giving him a motherly look that told him he had to do what she said.

“Y/n, can I talk to you?” Nikki asked, changing the subject. You nodded, handing Lily over to Harry. You watched him leave with her to go outside, turning back to Nikki expectantly.

She smiled at you, taking your hand and pulling you with her.

You followed her out into the garden where Harry had just left to, admiring the decorations that were still hung in the trees and bushes.

“Are you and Harry together?” Your head whipped around to look at her, a confused smile on your face. 

“Wh-what?” You asked, laughing nervously.

“Please, no one looks at a friend the way you two have been looking at each other tonight.” You blushed, trying to find any possible right answer.

“Well, it’s only been a few days.” You said. She gasped, her eyes widening and her mouth twisting into a large smile. “But please don’t tell anyone, we want to see how it goes.” She nodded, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Of course, I’m so happy for you both.” She asked you a few more questions before letting you go and find your boyfriend. 

“Go get your man.” She teased. You spotted him sitting further down the beautifully decorated garden by himself.

You didn’t go up to him straight away, deciding first to watch Tom, Paddy and Sam gush over Lily as they played with a few of her toys. You were eternally grateful that the Holland’s loved your daughter so much.

“Hey, birthday boy.” You said, approaching him sitting alone. He turned his head, smiling at you and offering you his hand. He pulled you closer to him, letting you sit on one of his legs, his arm around you and his other cradling his beer.

“Why are you all alone?” You asked. “Are you not having fun?” You questioned, scared you’d ruined his birthday with the party.

“No I am, but.” He paused, making you worry more. You leaned into his body further, beginning to push some of his untamed curls out of his face.

“Talk to me.” You whispered, searching his eyes for any kind of emotion. 

“I know it’s my birthday but it's also our first valentines day-“ He said. You mentally awed. “I know it’s soon but I just wanted to spend today with you.” You smiled at him, kissing his head. 

“That’s adorable Harry, but we can always do something tomorrow, it’s okay.” 

You didn’t notice the suspicious glances from Harry’s siblings, watching you both be touchy with each other. When he turned his head and planted a soft kiss on your lips, not realising what he’d done, the brothers freaked out.

“Wait, wait.” Tom yelled, catching your attention, pointing between you both. “Are you two finally-“ 

“Dating?” He said, watching Tom nod. “Yes.” Harry confirmed, not even letting his brother finish.

“About fucking time.” You giggled, watching them all cheer and clap for you both. You turned to Harry with a smile.

“Well, guess the secrets out.” You mumbled. He laughed, nodding his head.

“It was always going to come out.” 

The day of your wedding felt like it was creeping up on you unexpectedly, even if it was still many months away. It still felt like yesterday that Harry was proposing to you in your bedroom in front of your daughter. Part of you couldn’t believe it had already been five months.

You had come home from spending some much needed time with friends at a local pub, to find your flat dark, and from the eerie silence, what you assumed to be empty. Confusion ran through you, Harry didn’t tell you he was taking Lily anywhere so you had expected them to be there when you got back.

“Harry?” you called, hoping to gain some form of an answer from your boyfriend, or even your daughter. You heard little footsteps running down the hall, a sudden flash of brightness lighting the room and taking you off guard as she stretched to turn on the light.

“Hi Lily, where’s your dad?” you asked, bending down to brush some curly hair from her face. She just giggled, taking your hand and pulling you in the direction of your bedroom. You followed her questionably, not having any idea what your menacing daughter was up to.

Gently, she pushed open the door to your room, leaving you to find your love standing there nervously, playing with the strings on his hoodie.

“Is there a pyjama party no one told me about?” you joked, motioning to Harry’s sleep wear and then your daughter’s adorable dumbo pyjamas. Which you could recall being her favourite. 

Harry laughed, shaking his head and taking your hands in his. He placed a greeting kiss on your knuckles, ignoring the noise of disgust that Lily made.

“I actually wanted to talk about something.” Your heart dropped, your mind automatically thinking you’d done something to upset him.

“Did I do something, I’m sorry if-“ he shook his head, squeezing your hands reassuringly.

“You didn’t do anything, you’re perfect.” You tried to ignore the feeling of heat in your body at the compliment, choosing to let Harry’s comment pass and let him continue talking.

“Well, here goes nothing,” he mumbled. You watched with wide eyes as he bent down on one knee, a nervous grin on his face as he glanced at Lily. She gave him a thumbs up, one which made you giggle.

Harry delved into a heartwarming speech about the memories you’d shared together, being best friends and then more. He told you about the time when he knew he was in love, and it turns out it was years before your relationship even became a possibility. 

“I also just, I want to thank you for giving me Lily, and letting me love her like she’s my own.” Tears were streaming down your cheeks at this point, only threatening to do the same to Harry. He finally pulled out the ring box, Lily squealing excitedly from the side.

“Y/N, will you marry me?” he asked, looking at you with those same big brown eyes you’d fallen in love with a long time ago.

“Yes, yes, of course I will.” The ring was slipped onto your finger and you couldn’t help your sudden urge to kiss your new fiance. Your lips molded together with his, Lily trying to pull you both apart so she didn’t have to see that.

The rest of the night after that was spent with the three of you watching disney films in your bed, Harry’s lips basically refusing to leave your head. 

You smiled at the thought, your thumb subconsciously running over the beautiful engagement ring, while your eyes took your time to look at the dress in the mirror. Your nose scrunched up in dislike, already having decided this wasn’t the one for you.

“You okay in there Y/N?” your mum asked. You opened the door, taking her hand to help guide you into the middle of the room without falling over the trail of the dress. You noticed them try to pretend as if they liked it, complimenting random details just to make you happy. Frowning, you shook your head at them. 

“I hate it.” The two women let out relieved sighs and finally gave you their honest opinions. You were close to tears, you didn’t think you were ever going to find the perfect one at this rate, and with some more recent uncontrollable emotions you’d been having, you were all over the place about it.

You finally got to take a moment for yourself when Tom entered the shop with your angel on his hip, her happy smile widening when she saw her mum. 

She almost leaped out of her uncle’s arms, running to you and pretty much demanding that you pick her up. You giggled, cradling her against your chest as she buried her head in your neck. You asked for her opinion on the gown, knowing that the three year old would be brutally honest, which she was. 

“I hate it,” she said, pulling a face that made you crack up. Nikki announced the idea of a break, one that you felt you both needed and deserved after this mess. 

The break was taken up by small talk between the four adults among you, the little girl slowly falling asleep in your arms until she was out completely, almost drooling on your shoulder.

Sadly you had to hand her over to someone else, letting her sleep on Tom’s lap in one of the uncomfortable chairs as you took the dress off.

You ended up being at the dress shop for hours, and you still hadn’t found the right one. The women- and Tom, suggested you go home and then try somewhere else tomorrow, but you insisted on trying one last dress, just in case.

You were staring at how it looked, slightly mesmerized by the flowy, princess like gown draped across your body. Snapping you out of your daze, was a soft knock on the dressing room door, your quiet come in barely being heard through the wood.

“Hey, you seemed to be taking a while, so I came to check on you,” he said. “and I brought you something,” opening the door to the dressing room to let your little monster run in. Your heart swelled, bending down to scoop her up into your arms. You gave her some kisses on her head, letting her back down onto her feet so she could get a better look at your dress, this one she liked much more.

“Hello my gorgeous girl.” The girl’s grin was wide, looking at your dress in awe, “Did you have a good nap?” 

She nodded her head, not even really listening to what you were saying, reaching forward to gently touch the material of your dress.

“You look like a princess.” You smiled at her, bending down to her height. You lifted your hand and placed it on the back of her head, trying to tame her wild bedhead. You thanked her quietly, mumbling something about how she’d also get to look like a princess when the day came. Grinning, she told you she couldn’t wait.

“You look incredible Y/N.” 

Tom’s arms wrapped around you in a brotherly hug, showering you with a few more compliments. Glancing at the time, you knew Harry was meant to be here any minute. You’d all planned on going to a celebratory dinner after you found your dress, and up until now you weren’t sure there was any point.

“Alright, let’s show them,” you said, motioning to the door. Lily took Tom’s large hand, wanting to walk with him back to the main area.

Just as you opened it, you noticed your sneaky fiancé standing in the room. A shocked gasp escaped you and you quickly pulled it shut so he couldn’t notice your dress.

“What’s wrong?” Tom asked, trying to look around you.

“Harry’s here, he can’t see my dress,” you panicked, looking at Tom for some kind of help.

Tom rolled his eyes, shooing you away from the door. He whispered something to Lily, assuming he was using her as part of his plan.

“Are you using my daughter as a distraction?” you asked. Tom grinned nervously and ushered her out of the door, waving goodbye to you without another word. You laughed, shaking your head at the immature man.

“Daddy!” she yelled, running towards the curly haired man standing with his mum and your mum. Harry turned his head, grinning at the little girl. Harry’s heart still fluttered everytime she called him that, just like the first time it happened, right after her first birthday.

Ever since Lily had learned how to say the word no, she’d been using it as much as she could. When you told her something she didn’t like, no. When you asked her to put her toys away, no.

Even if you tried to put her to bed when she didn’t want to, all you’d receive was a stubborn no in response.

You were currently trying to get her off the couch and upstairs, where you’d simply bathe her, change her and then put her in her crib for the night. However that was not what she wanted to do. 

“Come on angel, need to get you ready for bed.” This was already your fourth attempt, but the girl just kept shaking her head and making it impossible for you to pick her up, flailing her limbs around awkwardly.

“Is everything okay in here?” You turned your head to your boyfriend and pouted, explaining the problem and then turning back to the baby expectantly. Lily gazed up at Harry with a lazy smile, you were glad that she still adored him as much as she did when she was first held by him.

You tried again, showing Harry the struggle you were having with her. Her gaze wasn’t even focused on you, but rather over your shoulder at the curly headed man smiling at her.

“No,” she whined, “Daddy.”

Your eyes widened, cheeks growing a deep red as you nervously glanced at Harry. He seemed frozen in his place, staring down at her as she made grabby hands.

She got more and more agitated when Harry didn’t make a move to pick her up, her face scrunching up in distress. “Daddy,” she tried again. A sense of stress in her tone. 

She let out a cry, causing Harry to jump into action. He carefully picked her up, cradling her to his chest. Beginning to rock her in order to calm her dad, shushing her quietly too.

“You’re okay,” he whispered, glancing up at you nervously, “Daddy’s here.” 

You let out a sigh of relief with a grin, happy that she didn’t make him uncomfortable and manage to scare him away.

“Come on, let’s let mummy have a break and i’ll put you to bed.” 

You thanked him silently, watching the two head down the hall. Your heart was still beating faster than normal, and you were unable to remove the grin from your mouth.

When Harry came back he was still utterly shocked at what he’d heard, taking a seat beside you and pulling you into his arms.

“Did that really just happen?” he asked. You nodded your head, burying your face in his chest with a happy laugh.

“Congrats dad.” Harry could feel himself tearing up, unable to wipe the grin from his face due to the utter happiness he felt.

“Hi precious.” He lifted her up onto his hip, kissing her cheek. The two mothers watched him interact with the girl with warm hearts. Even if she wasn’t biologically his, Harry was more than happy to treat her as his own. He’d loved the girl from the second he learned about your pregnancy, and nothing had changed.

“How does mummy look?” he whispered, trying to keep his volume to a minimum so his own mum wouldn’t scold him for trying to get the girl to say anything about the dress.

“She looks beautiful.” 

“Even more beautiful than normal?” he said, a tiny grin on his face. Lily nodded her head rapidly, making Harry laugh and kiss her head. 

Tom explained to his brother that he had to turn around and close his eyes while you showed everyone else the dress. He whined and protested, insisting like a child that it wasn’t fair. Nikki had obviously scolded him, telling him to stop being a baby, which had made Lily giggle.

He knew you’d stepped out when he heard gasps from the two women, he pouted, resting his head against his daughters.

“Oh wow.” Harry felt his heart sink. He wanted nothing more to turn around and gush about how gorgeous you looked along with everyone else.

To tease him even more, you shuffled over and placed a kiss to his cheek, greeting him sweetly, but making sure he could only see your face.

“I want to see you,” he frowned. You giggled quietly, kissing in between his clothed shoulder blades.

“You’ll see me on the day.” He rolled his eyes, throwing his head back to try and catch a glimpse, complaining about how far away it was.

You scoffed at him, quickly covering his eyes with your hands. “Stop peeking.” 

Harry let you keep your hands over his eyes, but turned his head and puckered his lips for you to kiss him. You rolled your eyes, granting his wish. 

“Let me just change and then we can go.” You heard Harry huff, ignoring his complaints and heading back to change into normal clothing. He got the chance to properly greet you with a hug once you were back in the clothes you’d put on that morning.

Your heart was racing as you bought the dress, hearing the two men behind you choking on their own breath at the price, neither one of the lads was aware that a wedding dress could cost anywhere near that much. It wasn’t long before you were ready to leave, slipping your hand into Harry’s while he happily carried your girl on his hip, listening to her innocent rambling.

Once you were in the restaurant and ordering, you got a few confused looks from the rest of the table when you didn’t order any alcohol, choosing to go with water instead. In their heads your mother and Nikki were also thinking about when you rejected the champagne at the dress shop when you’d arrived.

You tried to brush it off, gulping nervously and telling them you just weren’t in the mood. Harry was skeptical, he knew you better than you knew yourself and you seemed really nervous at the slight intrusion, you also hadn’t mentioned feeling off in any way to him.

He made a mental note to ask about it when you got home later, not wanting to bring it up in front of your families just in case.

When you got home that night, both you, Harry and Lily were exhausted. He offered to go and put her to bed, letting you do whatever you needed so you could get in bed.

Even after taking the time to read your angel a quick bedtime story, Harry still ended up in bed before you, ignoring your eye roll at how eager he was to sleep.

“I’m still sad I wasn’t allowed to see your dress,” he whined. You just giggled, pulling back the covers of your bed and climbing in next to him. You laid beside him, the two of you laying in a comfortable silence, just appreciating being near each other. You could tell just from the dazed expression on his face that he was picturing it.

“I can’t wait to marry you.” Your heart practically exploded in your chest, turning your head on the pillow so you could admire your fiancé.

“About that,” you winced. Harry’s eyes widened, snapping towards you out of fear. 

“Oh no, do you not-“ you cut him off instantly, shaking your head rapidly at his statement. You felt guilty for worrying him.

“It’s nothing like that, I promise.” His heart was still beating irregularly. You took a deep breath, smiling at him nervously, while blindly searching for his hand to hold.

“I think we need to push the wedding back a little,” you explained. His eyebrows furrowed, cocking his head like a confused puppy. He asked why, happily letting you take his hand in yours. You guided his hand to your stomach, trying to see if he would get the hint. It did take him a few minutes for it to sink in but he eventually gasped in surprise.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked, tears welling in his eyes.

“Yeah,” you cried, giggling to yourself as he practically tackled you in a hug. He let a few tears slip, not even bothering to wipe them away, “I wanted to tell you better than this but, here we are.”

“I had an idea, I noticed you weren’ drinking,'' you rolled your eyes. You hadn’t thought that would’ve been obvious. He shook his head, unable to tear his eyes away from you and your stomach. “I can’t believe it.” He refused to stop pressing kisses to different parts of your face, your laugh echoing around your shared room.

“I love you so much,” he whispered. You leaned forward and rested your forehead on his, smiling softly at him, while watching all the emotions swimming in those brown eyes. “Thank you for giving me the perfect family.”

This pregnancy was even better than your first one. Harry was much more attached this time and he barely ever let his hands leave your belly when he could.

In the beginning you would slap his hands away, telling him to stop so your families wouldn’t suspect anything. He would obviously take offense, just wanting to be close to his love and his growing child. But as it got harder and harder to hide, Harry would give you those puppy dog eyes that you couldn’t say no to.

This pregnancy felt different on some level, even though you had Harry the first time around too, this felt much more personal and you weren’t sure if it was because this time around, the baby was his.

He would often be encouraging Lily to talk to the baby with him, about anything and everything they could think of.

It had become one of Harry’s favourite things to do to talk to the baby. Anytime he could he’d be lifting up your shirts to just below your bra and pressing kisses to different spots on your protruding belly, telling the growing baby a story about his day.

That’s what was currently happening here. You were all ready to go to sleep when Lily had claimed she had a nightmare, tears running down her face, crawling into your bed for some comfort. Harry’s attempt at calming her down was by distracting her with talking to your five month pregnant belly.

He lifted up his old shirt you were wearing, placing a few greeting kisses on your stomach. He got comfortable on his elbows before motioning for Lily to follow, having her lay down on your other side.

“Come on angel, that’s your sibling in there.” Harry had been trying forever to get her to just talk to the baby, but she clearly didn’t grasp the concept of where the baby even was because she couldn’t see them.

“But there’s nothing there,” she pouted, laying her head on your chest. You ran your fingers through her tangled hair, just like your other hand was doing with Harry’s hair.

Lily watched as he began to tell the baby anything that popped into his head, rubbing his thumb over the skin gently. She shuffled down the bed, placing her tiny hand on your belly, trying to mimic her dad’s actions. She started to tell them a random story about her day with her uncle Tom, something about what had happened in the film they’d watched. The whole experience was actually quite soothing to you, giving you a chance to close your eyes and try to fall asleep while your two angels did their thing.

A sudden and slight flinch and your eyes snapping open alerted your fiancé, the man looking at you concerned. 

“They kicked,” you laughed, “I think they like their sisters' voices.” Lily’s eyes widened, letting you guide her hand to where the kick had been. You told her to keep talking, not having to wait long for another energetic kick from your bub.

“See, they like you already,” Harry smiled, nudging her shoulder gently.

“Can we talk to them everyday?” 

When you first told your angel she was over the moon, she was really excited at the idea of having a sibling and it warmed your heart to see. Nothing had changed from when you told her to know, the obvious baby bump being the centre of her constant giddy moods.

It eventually got to the point where there was no way you could hide it from family members any longer, and you had to tell your families about the pregnancy and postponing the wedding.

“So, we have some news,” you announced, gaining everyone around the table's attention. You squeezed Harry’s hand, running your hands over the material of your loose dress and pulling it tight against your belly.

There was a chorus of gasps, a few tears and lots of hugs from your families, hearing congratulations upon congratulations. You couldn’t help but glance at your fiancé while in a hug with his twin. You both sent each other lovesick smiles from the embraces you’d been dragged into, your hearts warm.

It felt like the last few months were over in seconds, and you were definitely going to miss it. The back rubs from Harry, the constant helping you and even the practically never leaving your side, you were surprisingly going to miss that too.

Your water breaking was nowhere near as chaotic as the first time, things were much calmer the second time around. Harry called one of his brothers, you couldn’t be sure which one in the moment, and asked them to meet you at the hospital so they could watch Lily. He then helped you into the car, making sure to give you a break when a contraction would hit, allowing you to squeeze the life out of his hand.

It was incredibly early for Lily, so she seemed to fall asleep as soon as she was settled in her car seat, a soft smile on Harry’s face just looking at her. He was about to be a dad again.

He tried to get there as quick as he could, finding Tom waiting outside in the early morning cold. You gathered that Tom was the brother he’d called earlier, but right now you didn’t really care. He greeted you politely, taking a sleeping Lily from her car seat while Harry helped you inside.

After you were given something for the pain, you seemed more concerned with if your family members were aware of the incoming new arrival, rather than actually being in labour. Something that Harry had to remind you was much more important.

“Did you call or-“ Harry cut you off, brushing some sweaty hair out of your face.

“I sent a text to everyone, okay, stop worrying.” you nodded your head, taking deep breaths to try and ease the pain that was still lingering. Harry didn’t let up playing with your hair, placing the occasional kiss on your hairline and always whispering words of encouragement to get you through.

You didn’t realise how much relief you’d get when the doctor told you it was time, a flood of thanks flowing through you as you were finally able to get this baby out.

This one took longer than the last, your new baby turning out to be a lot more stubborn than Lily was already, but you were eventually greeted with the cries of a newborn echoing around the room.

Harry choked back tears hearing that it was a boy, ignoring your teasing comment about the Holland curse as he got a look at his baby.

The boy was passed to you first, letting you get a good look at him. At first glance, he seemed to be a perfect mix of you and Harry, but when you really took the time to study him, you noticed all the features that were his dads. That button nose of his that you completely adored, those honey brown eyes that you’d spent hours staring into on some days. 

You could feel Harry watching you both from where he resided next to your bed. Snapping a quick picture that you’d be able to look back on whenever you wanted. You ran your hand over your boy's head, kissing his forehead and then glancing up to your fiance.

“He looks like you, he’s so beautiful.”

Harry’s heart swelled, itching to get the chance to hold his new son. Before Lily came in to be introduced to her new little brother, Harry got to cradle him, noting every one of his features to memory. Especially noticing the ones that he believed belonged to you.

“He’s perfect,” he whispered. Your heart fluttered a little, watching how he was so mesmerized with the new life in his arms. He placed gentle kisses on his chubby cheeks, choking up when his tiny hand wrapped around his finger. You let him have his moment, taking this chance for yourself to relax a little bit. A single tear rolled down his cheek and he didn’t even attempt to hide it, allowing you to get an insight on how truly happy he was right now. It felt like the first time he’d held Lily in his arms over three years ago. He remembered the moment where he stayed mesmerised with her for eyes, analysing every little mark on her face that resembled you. That was the day Harry properly fell in love with the tiny angel, and it was happening all over again right now.

You hated to interrupt his moment but you also wanted to let the tired, and probably very bored, girl in the waiting room have the chance to meet her brother. 

“Can you go get Lily, please?” you asked. He nodded slowly, hesitantly handing you the little angel wrapped in blue back. He pressed a long kiss to your forehead, partly thanking you for giving him his angel, well both of his angels, and also silently telling you how proud and amazed he was at what you’d just done.

You talked to your son quietly while Harry was gone, even if it was only for a few minutes and even if he didn’t understand what you were saying. Reaching his little hand up to grab you as if he recognised your voice from all the conversations you’d had with him while you were pregnant.

“There’s someone we want you to meet,” he whispered, guiding her sleepy frame into the hospital room. She seemed hesitant, her lack of sleep leaving her confused. She couldn’t see anyone else in the room but you and her dad.

“Lily, c’mere,” you cooed. Harry lifted her onto the hospital bed beside you, giving her the perfect view of the baby boy. “This is your little brother.”

Harry watched you introduce your new babe to Lily, the girl watching her new baby sibling in awe. She seemed to lose all traces of sleep the second she saw him, becoming completely obsessed with the tiny human in front of her.

It’d definitely taken you both time to get here, to become a family, arguably too long for that matter, but Harry felt like this was right, he felt complete, and he was sure that he now always would.

always taglist - @hopelessly-harry @iwearheadphones @thevelvetseries @minejungwoo @siriuslyslyslytherin @givebuckyhisplumsnow @itstaskeen @icyhollands @starkweasley @hollandcrush @zspideyy @hopeless-romantic-baby

[once-upon-a-pirate-ship]

it would kill me (if you didn't know)

I know. Trust me, I know. But I've been working on my novel, and when this fic slapped me in the face last night, I just went with it. And so should you.

Neverland AU - canon divergence for somewhere in 3a

(Blatant disregard of canon to follow--don't make me rewatch the show, please)

They saved Henry but all got separated in the process, and when they finally made it back to the ship, Emma realized that they were down a man. She's just gonna have to save him.

This features some pretty awesome Emma/David bonding, too.

This is a classic 'Killian's been taken while saving them and now he's being tortured and Emma isn't gonna stand for it' fic. I've read them all, and I just needed more. POV switches 3rd person between Killian and the others.

Thanks in advance for accepting the sidestepping of canon that I love to do.

Rated M for language and violence

length: 5k+

Read it on ao3

In retrospect, it wasn’t the greatest plan he’d ever had. But it also wasn’t the worst. Well, it could hardly even be called a plan, really, given that the consideration for it occurred in approximately three seconds, but he was hardly going to worry about it now. There were other things to worry about.

The thing that Killian Jones, pirate captain of the Jolly Roger and unofficial Neverland guide to Swan (and the others), needed to be worried about was the little demon child Peter fucking Pan who stood over him with that stupid evil smirk on his lips.

“Seems like you’ve finally lost, pirate,” Pan spat, but the amusement in his tone only sharpened the anger in his eyes.

Killian’s gaze flickered from the child to the grove in the distance, and when he saw not a trace of the others, he returned his attention to Pan. “Aye, I suppose so,” he said, his voice rough though calm and certain.

Pan’s brow furrowed. “Really? No witty remark? No promise to skin me alive?” he taunted. “You’ve changed your tune, Hook.”

He resisted rolling his eyes, instead gripping his wounded shoulder a little tighter. The arrow wasn’t poisoned—he’d have felt it working by now—but it wasn’t helping his predicament at all. Neither was the sizeable gash on his abdomen that Felix had been kind enough to gift him when he’d been distracted.

“Have I?” Killian asked. “I wonder what you’ll do with me now,” he added dryly. He knew. Oh, he knew.

Pan’s eyes flashed, and in an instant he was crouching towards Killian, his hand grasping the protruding arrow. “Now, I get to have my fun,” he declared with a cruel twist of his lips and an even crueler twist of the arrow.

But Killian Jones was no stranger to pain. They were intimately acquainted. That’s how he grit his teeth and buried it until nothing but a tiny grunt sounded from deep within his throat. Pan wouldn’t consider his torture much fun if he didn’t scream in agony, so he would keep playing until Killian could fight it no longer. And he’d let him. Because egging him on would make him lash out, and ensuring him of Swan’s victory would put her and the lad in danger. Pan had spent his time since their arrival playing games with them, distracting them from the important things they’d come there to do. It was only fair that Killian would return the favor.

So the demon could pull out all his toys, could whip him and carve into his flesh, could burn him until his skin was blackened ash, but nothing would stop Killian Jones from protecting his loved ones. And gods above, he loved Emma Swan.

--

All she wanted to know was how the fuck this happened. Their plan had been so perfect that even she couldn’t doubt it, but somehow the winds had shifted or their luck had run out or her luck had run out, and when they returned to the Jolly Rodger and the groups had reunited, they’d been down a man. Down a captain.

Neal, for all his talk of fighting for her, didn’t seem to mind not fighting for something that she actually cared about. He was running for president of the Let’s Leave the Pirate Here Club, and that wasn’t exactly a great way to get into her good graces, though that would’ve been hard enough as it was.

Regina, predictably, prioritized Henry to a fault—Emma was always for prioritizing her son, but not when it came to sacrificing her values or her morals or whatever, fine, she just didn’t want to sacrifice him. Henry was okay, he was safe, and they could take precautions to ensure that he would stay that way, but Regina just didn’t care or didn’t think it was worth it. A good option for Neal’s vice president.

In all her silent canvassing of the group’s feelings regarding Operation Save Hook (Henry was asleep, okay? He could come up with a better name when he woke up), Emma blatantly ignored Gold. For obvious reasons.

Tink was mostly for saving him, but not confident enough in any plan she could offer to make it stick. She’d tried to sway Regina, but that had been less than successful.

Then it was her parents. And, for once, they weren’t in total agreement.

Mary Margaret was sympathetic, to be sure, but not enough. She wasn’t in the Let’s Leave the Pirate Here Club, but she was Queen of Save My Kid and Her Kid Kingdom, so that was that.

But David—that’s what had caught her attention.

When they’d first discovered Hook’s absence and began discussing their options, Emma had held back and held her breath, unwilling to reveal her hand without knowing where the others stood. She’d gone into full Observant Mode, and that’s when she saw David, her father, and his reaction.

His face stiffened, an automatic move to hide his feelings, but Emma saw through it, even when Mary Margaret didn’t (or didn’t want to see it). It was a set jaw, a twitching lip that was almost a frown, tensed shoulders that eventually gave way to firmly crossed arms because apparently, Emma had gotten her Observant Mode from her father, and that’s what he was doing.

A few minutes into the conversation had nothing decided, but Emma shifted her stance, and her father looked her way. Their eyes locked, and while the others continued their pathetic excuse for a rescue discussion, father and daughter exchanged practically imperceptible nods, and then they were allies.

It’s what gave her the strength to step forward at last and disregard whatever half-assed ‘it’s too late’ speech Neal had been giving with a pointed clearing of her throat.

“David and I will go back for him while you guys get the ship ready,” Emma announced. Regina did that haughty half-step back that meant something between ‘I don’t care’ and ‘do whatever you want,’ and Mary Margaret’s only response was to look questioningly at her husband. Tinker Bell gave an enthusiastic nod of approval before busying herself with some bit of the rigging she may or may not have actually understood how to work.

Neal, however, was predictably Neal. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ems,” he said, that stupid nickname that he had no fucking right to use.

Emma’s head turned slowly to her ex, regarding him with the coldest gaze she’d ever offered anyone. Regina had some competition as head of the Looks That Could Kill Committee. “Hm, okay. Well, you don’t have to think it’s a good idea, because you’re staying here.”

“Emma—”

“There’s no discussion, Neal. No discussion from anyone, but especially from you. You have no right to talk, or interfere, and you especially have no right to argue against saving the man who is the reason your own son is alive and safe now.”

Mary Margaret was staring at her when she turned away from him, her eyes wide and openly confused, but she said nothing. David, however, had his eyes cutting into Neal, narrowed and calculating and damn, he was putting pieces together and he wasn’t liking the picture.

“Ready?” Emma asked her father.

He forced himself to look away. “Just have to grab one thing,” he told her, shaking his head at something Mary Margaret had said before he disappeared below.

Neal had huffed away after Emma’s little scolding, and he pouted at the exact opposite end from where his father pouted. Regina looked disinterested and mildly irritated, but when Emma glanced at her, she nodded towards Gold with a raised eyebrow.

Emma’s lips curled in something like a grateful smile, and she passed her bewildered mother on her way to the Dark One.

“You have something,” Emma said as soon as she stood in front of him. “Something to get Pan.”

“I do, Miss Swan,” he replied, that stupid tone that told her he had tricks up those stupid sleeves of his.

She hummed. “No, there’s no deal this time. No price. I’m done with games. So you can either give it to me, or I can take it from you.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Take it from me?” he asked, entirely amused by the concept.

“I’m done with your shit, Crocodile. You can play Dark One with me all you want, but we both know it’s just easier to just hand it over.”

He glared at her for a long moment, but eventually he cracked, and he glanced at his son who looked out at the water and away from them both. “Fine. But only because I’ve no use for it anyway.”

She took the box he offered, resisting the urge to mutter, ‘yes, that’s why,’ as he explained how it worked. When he’d finished, she offered him a simple but genuine “thank you,” before joining her father once more.

“Here,” David said, passing her another cutlass, one she hadn’t seen before. “You need a new weapon,” he added.

“And I’m borrowing…”

“Hook’s. An extra,” he said. “Figured he wouldn’t mind.”

“Right,” she mumbled, taking it with a frown and securing it quickly. “Well then, let’s go.”

--

For all his talk of being intimately acquainted with pain, Killian Jones was doing a piss-poor job of hiding it. The cracks in his resolve were starting to widen, and when hums and grunts became groans and low growls, he knew it was only a matter of time before Pan started to truly have his fun.

He’d been more clever this time around, to be sure. It had to have been at least a century since Killian had gotten cozy with the demon’s knife (or arrowhead, or branding iron, or whatever particular weapon he’d chosen to use that time), but Pan had certainly honed his skills quite a bit since then.

But Killian was sure that Swan had taken her lad and the others far away by now, and the knowledge that he’d helped her, that he’d kept his word, allowed him the strength he needed to keep the screams from coming.

For a while.

Pan, though, had used a trick on him he’d never experienced, and the shock alone was enough to get it working for a little while.

That trick came in the form of her, of Emma Swan, and the name had fallen from his lips like a prayer, hope that he’d never felt before rising like a rushing tide in his chest, and she’d smiled at him, a radiant, lovely thing that he’d never imagined could’ve been gifted solely for him, useless pirate that he was.

But then she’d started talking, and he knew it was a trick (tides always come back, because when there’s a rise, there’s also a fall). Not at first, he’d give Pan that, because it was easy enough to believe that the smile hadn’t been for him, that she resented him, that she hadn’t meant to save him, that they were better off without him. It wasn’t what she said that tipped him off, it was how she said it. Because Killian Jones had studied her since the moment she uncovered his pathetic hide in that pile of bodies, and he knew her—more than she knew herself, to her dismay—and he could read her. She was an open book, after all.

When her eyes didn’t burn like he knew they should’ve when she spoke of anger and hatred, he knew. When her lips didn’t quirk in that one specific way when she mentioned abandoning him, he knew. And then she spoke about her parents and Baelfire, and it was all wrong, because Emma Swan had walls, and even Neverland wasn’t enough to break them down so quickly.

Wherever she was, Emma Swan wasn’t about to run into her parents’ arms and live happily ever after with them and her True Love, because she wasn’t there yet. He knew her. He knew how hard it was for her to open up to him, someone who understood her from such shared experiences, and that wasn’t something she could just overlook as soon as she returned home. They’d hurt her—here, in Neverland, with assumptions and confessions and automatic behaviors, but also before. And if she did wish to ride off into the sunset with Baelfire, Neal, it wasn’t going to happen right away, because Killian had watched her while she shifted away from Neal when he’d moved towards her. He’d seen the way she recoiled at his touch, how she’d narrowed those jade eyes at his words, how she didn’t trust him, not anymore.

No, the Emma Swan that stood before his beaten and bruised body was a copy, and a bad one. When she hadn’t achieved her goal, she disappeared, and Pan took her place, and though he knew the demon was mocking him and prodding him with insults and hoping they’d smash the last of his resolve, he wasn’t ready to give in just yet.

Killian Jones was waiting for something. He just couldn’t figure out what it was.

--

“What’d he do?”

Emma faltered, the blade missing the piece of jungle shit in her path she’d been trying to cut down. “What? Who?”

“Neal,” her father said, clearing the vines for her before they continued on.

“Oh,” she sounded, pulling her lips together as she considered what to say. He’d noticed it before, and she knew that. He wasn’t stupid, nor was he as hope-prone and naive as Mary Margaret could often be. And they had another few miles to go, at least. “He left,” she said.

David stopped, a hand on her arm that was more than just an attempt to stop her from walking, too. “He left you?” he asked, his eyes somehow tight with rage and tender with something she wanted to dub dad-ness, because no one had ever looked at her like that before.

Emma huffed, because now was definitely not the time for Feelings, now was the time to rescue a goddamn pirate from whatever the hell Peter fucking Pan was doing to him. “He set me up to take the fall for his crime and let me go to prison instead. I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was already in jail.”

David blinked once, twice, and then his expression was consumed by dad-anger (because it was just a different brand of anger that she’d also never seen before). “Emma—”

“It was a long time ago, dad.” They both started at the name, dad, because she’d never really used it before. A few times she’d said it, but it was something she’d had to force, a correction or a pointed joke, sometimes a near-death thing, but this was different. Authentic. Slightly heartbreaking.

“We don’t have time for this,” she muttered as she turned away, but neither was surprised, and even her dad wasn’t hurt, because Emma had her walls, and that was okay, because she’d needed them to survive this long. And if he had to put in a little time and effort to help take them down, that didn’t bother him one bit.

“I was kinda surprised that you wanted to come,” she said after a while, unable to bear the tense atmosphere any longer.

David gave her a half-smile, slicing another thicket (because they’d grown over since they’d returned to the ship. Fuck Neverland, honestly). “He did save my life, you know. And he was saving Henry when an arrow hit him—before your mother and I got separated from the group. I wasn’t about to leave him for dead after he took an arrow for my grandson.”

Emma froze, nearly dropping the cutlass that wasn’t hers. “He saved Henry?”

Her father’s eyebrows furrowed. “I thought you knew that,” he said. “So why are you so eager to help him? If you didn’t know.”

Her lips parted only to press together firmly, and when she spoke, they both knew it wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the whole truth. “Because I don’t leave people behind. And even without the arrow, he still saved Henry. He brought us here.”

David studied her for a moment, and these pieces were coming together faster now, and quite suddenly, the picture made a lot of sense. “He came back.”

“For Henry. And Neal,” she replied.

“And you.”

She couldn’t deny it, and he knew that. But it surprised him that he didn’t mind it as much as he had before. Emma’s walls, no matter how much he wished he could change it, were in part because of him and Snow. They saved her, yes, but they abandoned her when they did it. And Neal had likely been the cause of the other fortress that surrounded her, because he’d abandoned her, too.

So if the pirate had gained her trust and her respect because he hadn’t abandoned her, then that was good. David had seen plenty of love and devotion in his life, but he’d never seen loyalty like the kind that burned in Captain Hook. Centuries in search of revenge for the one he’d loved and lost. That wasn’t the man who would turn around and abandon her the second the opportunity arose.

No, without him or the pirate realizing it, he’d pretty much gained his blessing. Because David knew damn well that if the roles were reversed, not even if Emma herself were in danger, but if Hook were here in his place and someone she loved was being tortured, there’s no one he would trust more than Captain Hook to help her. Neal had barely batted an eye. But he was apparently quite skilled at leaving people to rot.

David was just beginning to contemplate how to handle that particular situation when the screams started.

He took his daughter’s hand, meeting her huge and watery eyes, and they ran.

--

He’d held on so long, but it was worth it. It was worth it. No, she was worth it. Emma Swan was worth it.

Emma. Emma. Emma.

Her name became a mantra, a song in his head to fill the space between screams.

Killian Jones had loved Milah. He never doubted that, and his love for another didn’t negate it, either. He wasn’t sure what made his love for Emma Swan sharper, deeper, but it was just different. His working theory was that they’d both loved before, both been hurt before, both lingered in something that was slightly less than pure. Whatever had happened with Baelfire couldn’t have been perfect, because it hurt her. And she’d been so young when she’d had Henry. Milah wasn’t faultless, either. Ironically enough, that point was proven by Baelfire.

Killian had spoken to her about it for hours. She’d spun tales of rescuing the lad, taking him from his pathetic father and bringing him aboard, but it never happened. It wasn’t until Henry was taken from Swan that he realized the downfall of his Milah. He’d known it, truly, but nothing would have stopped Swan from getting back her son, and it should’ve been the same with Milah.

For a moment, the pain of his guilt overwhelmed the pain of Pan’s lash that sliced into his back.

But that was what made his love for Emma Swan different.

Try something new, darling. It’s called trust.

Be a part of something.

Too bad he’d never have the chance to explain it all to her.

--

Emma had seen so much in her life. So much pain, so much ugliness—it had made her start to believe that there was really nothing else. But then Henry showed up at her door, and things changed.

Now, standing in her hiding place with her father, she was forced to watch as the demon child inflicted brutal and unrelenting torture to Captain Hook—no, no, he wasn’t Hook anymore. Not after this. He was Killian Jones, and she was going to save him.

She just couldn’t jump in and do it. Not without a plan.

Once they’d decided who was the distraction and who was taking the box, they were ready, but she wasn’t. Each scream pierced her heart, and by this point, the tears were just a permanent fixture that neither of them acknowledged. You couldn’t listen to that kind of pain and not feel it down to your goddamn soul. And she knew that as much as it hurt to hear it, Killian was hurting a thousand times worse while he endured it.

It had only been hours, maybe, but she’d never seen a person look so broken and not be actually dead, and it felt like her fault. Because maybe if she’d been strong and reasonable enough to let go of Henry’s hand for even a second, she would’ve realized that he wasn’t at her side like he was supposed to be. Sure, they’d all been separated into groups that slowly returned to the ship, but she should’ve known. She should’ve been there. He shouldn’t have been here.

None of that mattered now. It was time to save him, and then she could worry about everything else.

Her father kissed her forehead, brushing her tears with his thumbs and offering her a reassuring nod that said we’ve got this, and then he disappeared to play his part. When she stepped into the clearing, she was much more confident than she had any right to be.

“Pan.”

The kid snapped to attention, whirling around to look at her. “Really? You’ve come to rescue the pirate?”

His words, his face, his stupid grin pissed her the fuck off, but what really sold it, the thing that solidified everything for her was the sight of Killian’s hook tucked into Peter Pan’s pocket like it was a fucking souvenir.

“Well, you know what they say about us hero types,” Emma stalled, keeping herself from glancing at Killian where he lay in the dirt. “We don’t leave anyone behind. We come back for everyone. It’s just in our nature.” She had no idea what she was actually saying, she was just talking, just waiting until her father got into place.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you take the pirate, Emma. He’s mine, you see,” Pan told her, and she thought that he’d never looked less than a child with the straight-up evil in his eyes and the weapon in his hand.

She folded her arms across her chest, pulling on strength she didn’t have. “Hm, no, I don’t think he is,” she said, letting some of her anger seep into her voice. “He’s a pirate, sure, but you and I both know that he’s pretty determined about that good form nonsense, and he made me a promise, you know,” Emma continued. “He told me he’d see to it that Henry gets home safely. He can’t do that if he’s here.”

Pan’s shoulders shifted as his chest puffed out, and he wanted something. “How about this,” he said, “the pirate in exchange for your son.”

Emma scoffed. “As I told the Dark One earlier, I’m done playing games. No deals. I’m leaving this island with my son and my pirate and everyone else, and that’s it. You lose, kid.”

Peter Pan grinned, and if she hadn’t just seen David out of the corner of her eye, she would’ve been terrified. “How’s that? I’m not going to let you leave with Henry or the pirate, no matter how much you’re convinced I’m going to,” he said, almost petulant.

“Sorry, I should’ve been clearer,” Emma smiled, “I should’ve mentioned the part about you being captured. Whoops. Too late.”

Emma surged forward, snatching the hook just before Pan was sucked into Pandora’s box from David’s outstretched hand. Neither he nor Emma hesitated for a second before they rushed to Killian where he was no more than a pile of cuts and bruises on the ground, stripped of his coat and his vest and his bravado.

David rolled him onto his side carefully, shooting her a concerned look when he didn’t even flinch.

The hook fell from her grasp and onto the ground beside them. “Killian?” Emma said softly, her hand reaching out to ghost across his sweaty forehead. If she didn’t see the rise and fall of his chest in time with the shuddering breaths he took, she would’ve been certain he was dead, because anyone else would’ve been dead.

“Emma, I have no idea how we’re going to move him when he’s like this,” her father told her, and if he were someone else, that would’ve meant that they’d run out of options, but hope was the family motto.

Emma pushed out a breath, bringing her hands back to her face, running them over her hair and locking a few fingers around her necklace. “Alright, okay, lemme think,” she said, but of course that was when her brain turned to absolute mush.

Time, nonexistent here though it was, was marked with Killian’s shaky breaths, and several minutes passed before David spoke. “Emma…” he began, and when she looked at him, that family motto was shining in his eyes. “Emma, you have magic. You can heal him.”

“I—” I can’t, she wanted to say. But it didn’t matter that she’d never done it, that she had no idea how to, because she’d do it. She’d do anything to save this stupid, ridiculous, insufferable, amazing pirate. He promised that he’d win her heart, and she wasn’t about to lose him right when she finally had a chance to let him.

“How?” she asked, hoping—yes, Emma Swan did things like hope now—he’d know something helpful.

David hesitated, as if he were gathering everything he’d ever learned about magic. “Okay, your magic is about emotion, right?” At her nod, he continued, “Well, that’s good, because you’re feeling a lot of things right now. You want to help him, to heal him, so maybe think about why?”

Emma chuckled, and it was a watery thing, but she wiped the dampness from her cheeks. “I don’t think I’ve cried this much since…I have no idea when,” she confessed.

David met her gaze, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. “Use it.”

She took a breath, her eyes slamming shut so she could focus, but her hand didn’t leave her father’s.

Why was she crying now, this much, after everything? She wasn’t a crier (you couldn’t be in the system that long and still be a crier), so what had changed? All at once, she knew.

Captain Hook is what changed. Killian Jones had towered her walls, and now she was crying over him. Because she felt things. Things with a capital ‘t,’ and it was the first time in her life that she was finally, truly letting herself feel Things, the first time she honestly wanted to. There hadn’t really been a choice with Neal. He was just there, and that’s why she’d loved him. She was young, and he offered her this tiny piece of security and she’d latched onto it, and that was it. It wasn’t even about him, not really, not when she broke it down like that. Everything she felt for Killian Jones was about him.

Right from the start, he’d terrified her, because he could see right through her walls like they were made of glass. He read her because he already spoke the fucking language, but she hadn’t let herself understand that piece until later. But how many times had she been standing beside her family (she had that now), knowing that things were off or just not feeling right because they didn’t quite get it—but then she’d looked over and he’d been watching her because he got it. He knew. And he came back.

Killian Jones had never abandoned her. Well, there was that one time he locked her in a cell, but that was only because she’d just chained him up on the top of a beanstalk and it was honestly only fair, so that was different. Every moment when she waited for him to race off while in Neverland, when leaving her to her fate would’ve been the smart and easy thing to do, he’d proven her wrong (but she wasn’t really wrong, because she didn’t really believe it. She’d trusted him right from the start, and each time he didn’t leave her was somehow both totally surprising and totally predictable).

But it wasn’t just that. It was everything she saw in him when he thought no one was looking. The shadows that crossed his face when they ran into something familiar, the hesitance when offered assistance by anyone, the mysteriously filled waterskins that appeared by her bedroll after his watch. Everything he did for her and her family was a promise that he was no longer a villain—that maybe he’d never actually been one—and she could doubt everyone else (except for Henry), but she couldn’t doubt Killian Jones.

She was falling for him. Hard. She probably already would’ve fallen if she’d let herself, especially if she’d gone with her gut at the top of that beanstalk and trusted him, so she wasn’t about to let him die.

Emma raised her free hand, feeling all of her Feelings and thinking all of the Things, and she healed him, because she needed to. She felt the warmth that radiated from her palm, and when her eyes flickered open, there was a brilliant light that washed over his face and followed the path of her hand as she hovered along his body. The cuts shrank, sealing themselves while the blood seeped back into his skin, and when his breaths were no longer labored, she knew he was healed.

Her father gave her a proud smile (it was watery, too), but their attention was quickly brought back to the groaning pirate.

Killian’s eyes took several fluttering blinks before they focused correctly, and when he spoke, it was no more than a disoriented grunt. “Swan?”

“We’re here,” she said, releasing David’s hand to take Killian’s. “We trapped Pan, Henry’s safe on the Jolly Roger, and now all we need is for you to take us home.”

His eyes were stormy when he looked up at her, and his rough palm lined up with her soft one, and for a single, fleeting moment, it was as if he’d never felt pain in his life. The warmth, the ease, the life he felt holding Emma Swan’s hand made him briefly forget the hours of torture from Pan, and for what may have honestly been the first time in his life, Killian Jones felt safe.

There were many questions that he needed to ask, ones he hadn’t had the chance to think of with his present exhaustion, but he pushed them aside, because she was smiling that smile, the one he’d never imagined could be directed and him, and it lacked the tightness that Pan’s version had. Where Pan’s version had pranced around words, the real Swan was straight to the point and not flowery about anything. But what was most comforting about this Swan was that even though her smile was warm and lovely and nothing like he’d ever seen on her lips, he could see her walls hidden in her gaze, that lingering hesitance, and he knew. She’d come back for him.

“Think you can walk?” David asked him, and it almost made the pirate jump (centuries of always being on his guard, always prepared and aware of his surroundings, and Emma Swan gave him one smile and held his only hand and that was enough to block out the rest of the realm).

Killian nodded, and with some careful maneuvering by Swan and her father, he was upright. He wavered slightly—blood loss, he reasoned, because Emma had definitely healed him with her magic, but there was only so much magic could do—but they secured both of his arms without delay.

“Oh,” Emma paused, bending down to grab his hook. “Thought you’d want this back,” she added with a smile that was almost sheepish.

It was the way she held it that made him lightheaded (not at all related to the blood loss). Her hand was wrapped around the metal like it was nothing but also everything. She didn’t fear it, didn’t scrunch her nose at it—the way she held it was like the way she held his hand: a part of him, something she couldn’t quite bring herself to let go of.

“Thank you, Emma,” he murmured, and all three of them knew it wasn’t just for returning the hook. He gestured for her to attach it, and after a glance of confirmation, she did. And he couldn’t help but feel whole.

[shesawriter39049]

|AFTER HOURS| M|

Pairing: Namjoon X OC 

About-  Your husband and business partner finds you up way past acceptable work hours for the 3rd night in a row! So, daddy has to step in and remind you that’s not something we do in this household. You come before work, in every sense of the phrase!

OR- Namjoon and yourself run a successful Adult Film Entertainment Company called “Onyx” with your 5 best friends from college who you also happen to be in a open relationship with! Your in desperate need of a 2nd videographer/editor! So here you are, up at 1 AM scrolling through resumes because your that boss that hates to overwork her employess so she overworks herself!

Warnings:Daddy kink, Dom Namjoon, switch OC (More of a sassy/bratty sub)Top OC, Oral (F recieving) Light ass play, (Rimming), Dirty talk, Breath play, Spanking(Pain kink),Hair pulling, unprotected sex, light cum play, VERY LIGHT degration (He calls her a “little bitch” once but it’s playful still noting in case it offends ppl)The end hints at a threesum…...with a certain redhead 

Tae is their sassy exec.assistant and makes a cheeky little appearance at the end.

Jonnie baby is tatted...LORDT

There a fun freaky little couple...

WC:6k

NOTE- This is kinda old and  was set to be part 1 of an OT7 AU called “7 DEEP” 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  “Really?” Goddamn, leave it to Namjoon to make one word sound just as sexy as it was intimidating! 

You heard the footsteps fuck you did, you just opted to ignore them and hope maybe he’d just, I don’t know leave? Maybe he was just doing a wellness check? But, if that’s the case, as your tired, unfocused, half-lidded gaze caught the bottom right of your laptop screen, which was glaring back at you something vicious! You realize that you’ve royally fucked up, and its a cute little 2 am right now! So no, he’s not going any damn were, anytime soon….

“Baby” The word left his lips just as much disappointment as it did allure which is a hell of a combination I know, I know, but in all honesty, it fits the mood. You caught his visual briefly through the mirror mounted against the wall and fuck, your man is fine as all hell! Frame resting casually against the entryway, arms folded firm across the smooth chiseled planes of his caramelized tattooed chest. Oversized cat-eye glasses perched on top of that cute little button nose of his, A pair of loosely fitted sweats sitting low against his v-lines, the thin grey fabric left nothing to the imagination as he’d clearly opted against boxers tonight. Shoulders and arms flexing effortlessly due to his current position which screams nothing but “Your ass is in trouble”. Which I mean, your kinda here for...kinda not….

Only offering a low hum in response as you continued scrolling through mounds resumes and video reels that were currently clogging up the admin email that was typically reserved for Taehyung. And that’s when you hear his feet shuffle closer, and closer until there’s a heavy yet comforting weight pressing against your back. The temperature around you shifting, as he leans down, arms braced on the table on either side of your frame. His long, beautiful, veiny fingers pattering idly against the glass, showcasing an array of rings, one of them being his Cartier wedding band as his lips nuzzling into your neck. Nosing up and down your skin slowly, almost teasingly, just breathing you in until your shifting back against him, a strong chill running down your spine. 

“We talked about this…” Voice low, seductive, yet stern and still clearly a little disappointed...nipping at your neck, not hard enough to leave a mark but just enough to make a point. Forcing yourself not to lean back into his touch no matter how bad you wanted to beg for more than just him grazing his teeth along your skin! You needed him to bite, hard, and he already knows it too, how much you get off on being marked..and that’s exactly why he’s not doing it...The little shit! 

“I know but -” Namjoon reaches up to slam your laptop shut, sliding it and the stack of papers to the opposite end of your dining room table, that you’ve managed to convert to a makeshift office. 

“We talked. About this” Simply parroting the words again, just slower this time as if to say you clearly must not have heard him correctly initially.

You sigh. Deep, slow, defeated, a nod rendering, out as a half-arsed response triggering Namjoon to pull back from you only to slide your chair from beneath the table. Shifting it to face him before dropping to a squat between your thighs. Gaze unwavering as he took in your blatantly exhausted appearance, still, he couldn’t help but melt as he reached out to caress your jaw feeling the way you nestled into it instantly. Your eyes fluttered shut briefly, as he smoothed his hands down your body, slipping beneath your robe to gently massage your thighs.

“So what the fuck, are you doin?” Brow arched as if he was daring you to actually respond, yet there wasn’t a single sharp edge to his voice, it was suddenly soft, calm. As if he was genuinely asking why you were doing this to yourself because he can’t make a lick of sense of it! You’re barely able to hold your eyes ajar right now yet you were out here working....

You couldn’t really handle the intensity of his gaze right now, more so because you knew he was right, you were so fuckin exhausted right now it’s unreal! Let’s also mention that the two of you have to catch a flight to Vegas for a business meeting in a good oh I don’t know 7 hours! So, instead of acknowledging that this was really stupid, you opted to reach for the one resume he didn’t manage to move out of reach. Eyes nervously scanning the paper as a distraction while you tried to think of a rational that even you’d believe at this point! 

'Fuck, we just- I don’t know Joon, we just have so much going on right now! And you know I’ll never complain about us having too much work I mean, I'm grateful every damn day that we’re not where we were!”

You intentionally paused, letting “that” have its own moment because it's something to always be acknowledged! The two of you went from living in a 900sq ft apartment with 5 other people to effortlessly clearing 8 figures as of this last tax year. Humbled and grateful to be busy isn’t even the beginning of how you feel! 

“But I just look at everybody...Yoongi’s responding to emails at fucking 3 AM! Jimin playing around docusign at the ass crack of dawn every damn day sending out contracts! Taehyung up scouting locations at 6 AM on a Sunday which is supposed to be his only day off I just- Everybodys in over their head so I thought I’d just- “ Namjoon reached up and grabbed your chin, snatching the paper out of your hand and forcing you to look him dead in the eyes. 

“So thought you'd overwork my wife instead?” 

You just shrug and nod again, tossing your hands in the air, it’s clear you have an attitude but it’s also clear it’s with yourself! You keep piling more and more on your plate instead of delegating it out to other people to handle! It’s a trust thing, and Namjoon know’s that,  it started out with just the two of you, then for years it was seven , seven deep. It’s hard for you to let new people into something you and your husband built from nothing! However, Taehyung just got a part-time assistant of his own so he can go back to strictly being your right hand, and realistically, he’s salary! Your little Gucci boy probably doesn’t mind drinking his Starbucks and driving his BMW around LA looking for houses to film in! You could have spread the workload out a little you just fuck, I don’t know, you’re always that person to put people first to a fault I guess! Point being, Tae could easily handle this, tomorrow, during normal business hours, you could have and should have been in bed with your husband! 

Namjoon can sense how uneasy you feel right now, almost like your a child being scolded and that’s not at all what he’s aiming for; he's just genuinely concerned. So he opts to ease the atmosphere just a little to remind you, that the two of you are always on the same playing field, he’s only reacting like this because he cares! Flicking the bottom of your chin before leaning in, pressing a firm, yet passionate kiss to your lips as if he’s trying to drive the point home, slipping his tongue past the seam almost instantly. Not even attempting to keep this somewhat chaste, needing you to feel every inch of infinite love and fire he has burning through his veins when it comes to you! Kissing you with enough force to knock the wind out of your chest, moaning contently as you give your husband free rein to explore your mouth. Turning the kiss slightly more delicate as he lets his hands slide even deeper under the robe to continue roaming your body. The slide of his tongue becoming softer, slower….as the pads of his fingers trickled up your spine.

Sucking your bottom lip between his teeth as he pulls back “Were all busy baby, I get it, I hate seeing them like this too, you know I love them just as much as you do! And that’s exactly why we put out those ads, but that does not mean you get to take on everyone else’s shit! Don’t make me put in a complaint to HR about unfair treatment within the workplace!”Murmurs against your lips, as you stare down at his, barely paying attention to a damn thing he said! 

“Joon I am HR…” You mumble low and unamused, eyes rolling to the back of your head in annoyance and he could give less than a damn. Leaning in with a smirk playing on his lips, leaving another lingering kiss against your own. Kissing you with enough fire to have every hair along your body standing on end! Until your practically chasing after him in a pout the minute he pulls away from you. 

“Mmm, and my point still stands….” Namjoon's hands tighten around your hips, scooting you forward so your legs are wrapped around his waist. Your arms instantly lace around his neck, trailing your fingers upward, so they can get lost in his freshly dyed locks.

“Stop, overworking my baby! You know I don’t like  it…” His delivery was just as much playful, as it was stern! 

“Fuck, whatever okay, sorry!” You really weren’t at least not right now, there wasn’t a lick of conviction in that as you reached up to bring his lips back down to yours. Sliding in tongue first, capturing his lips in another opened mouth kiss, the rhythm quickly starts getting messy more so on your end because you’re getting needy! Namjoon tastes intoxicating and you’re blissed out of your mind, even after all these years, this man can still manage to have your toes curling with just a simple kiss! , Arching forward giving him easier access to grab you ass and he takes the hint, the faint sting of blunt nails digging into the swell of your ass has you whimpering out low and filthy against his tongue.

The kiss breaks much to your dismay but before you can even protest Namjoons tongue is lapping down the side of his neck, mapping out all the places he’s learned over the years. Nipping down on your flushed skin ever so often this time he’s biting with a purpose though, giving it to you just the way you like it. 

“Y/n were done with work now right??” He can hear you panting out low and wanton into his ear once he attaches himself to the crook of your neck, sucking maliciously, an almost animalistic growl leaving his lips in the process. There’s a hint of frustration mixed in with arousal dripping off his tongue right now, your too caught up to notice! 

“Namjoon '' You breathe out his name with nothing but lust pouring off your tongue, not an ounce of shame insight in regards to how needy you sound right now. The sound goes straight to Namjoon’s dick which is beaming at you like a spotlight through the thin fabric of his sweats. Tilting your head back, and anchoring one of your hands into your husband’s hair keeping him in place, overwhelmed with pleasure as you go completely pliant under his menstruations. Regardless, this man's self control was somethin’ serious,and he wasn’t giving in just yet...you still had one more cross to bear baby girl! 

“Fuck. Please” Tugging on his scalp like the brat you tend to be, as if to emphasize your point, making Namjoon pull away licking up your jaw in the process. The drag was slow, messy, waving his tongue against your skin the same way he would your pussy and you felt yourself start to involuntarily clench harder and harder by the second. 

“Hmm? What was that baby?” Tugging the shell of your ear between his teeth hard enough to make you whimper into his hair “Now you wanna come to bed?” You can feel him smirking against your skin and you just really don’t like your husband at all right now just so we’re clear.

All you do is whine in response, yanking his hair even harder until you feel a firm hand land on your ass making you yelp out of your seat. 

Nam-fuck!” Hissed through clenched teeth, thighs tensing around his waist. 

“So again…” Tone as coy and casual as can be as he winds his hand back only to land smack dab on the curve of your ass again, right in the same spot, you wouldn’t be surprised if his palm left an indentation behind! 

Namjoon’s hand was literally pulsing against your skin the impact was so damn strong, all the metal dancing along his fingers didn’t help either! You swear the ripple echoed throughout your entire apartment, and the scream that left your throat was without a doubt noise complaint worthy! Fuck your gonna need to send them an edible arrangement or somehing, they already hate the two of you as it is… 

Your panting and whining opened mouth right into his ear, and it’s getting you nowhere but horny and frustrated! Nails, digging little crescents into his shoulders as you try and almost reroute so of the pain that’s buzzing through your veins. But it’s good, it’s soo good, the slickness coating your inner thighs gave that away! Namjoon can smell how much you’re enjoying this, his little pain slut as he often likes to call you! 

 “You wanna stay out here all damn night. Work yourself into the ground. Leave me in bed alone, and now all of a sudden you think you get to boss daddy around? Hmm? Just because your pussys nice and wet and your feelin needy ...now you want to go to bed?” Namjoons tone is blatantly taunting and a little harsh yet the slight growl laced with it all has your head spinning far too fast to even be mad.

‘Oh my god, Namjoon just fuck me already! Shit!” 

“Why the fuck should I do that? Could’ve had me hours ago baby, all I wanted to do tonight was fuck you, that’s all I wanted all damn day.” Slipping his hand between your thighs pinching your clit between his fingers, slowly rubbing the pads of his together on either side, stimulating your clit head-on until your groaning into the side of his neck.”Do you even, know, how hard it was for me not to just bend you over the conference room table today!?” 

“Joon” You try again and he doesn’t budge, he actually let’s go of your clit all together and just teasingly trailing his fingers along your entrance never entering just driving you fucking insane! Looking as fine and unbothered as ever, as his lips ghost up the curve of your jaw. 

“Hmm, let’s try this shit again.Why-” Bringing that same hand up to grip your jaw with enough pressure to indicate he wasn’t fucking around anymore. “Should I give you what you want when you continuously keep disobeying my only request? Hmm???” You can feel your own slickness against your skin, yet all you can focus on is the blatant aganer, and hurt running through your husbands veins. Even beneath all this bravado..he’s clearly really hurt about this, so play times over!

“Fuck, okay!” There was slight elevation to your voice, tetoring on yelling actually. The arch in Namjoons brow said you had about two seconds to fix that , but you already planned on it! Taking a deep slow breath, letting your eyes flutter shut to just...recenter yourself for a moment! 

“Baby, I’m sorry. I’m. Sorry. ” There it was, not that bratty whiney shit you did earlier to get what you wanted, a genuine “I’m sorry” . Soothing your nails through his scalp, it’s almost instantaneous the way his demeanor shifts once those words fall off your tongue in a more..sincere fashion.  

A low hum rang in the back of his throat at the admission, nosing at your cheek “Sorry for what exactly? Because I don’t want it if you doing this just to appease me baby. That won’t do shit for me. ”  Namjoon’s tone is a lot softer now, all of the prior theatrics and pettiness is gone as he awaits your response.

“No, Joonie baby, no!” Pressing a soft but firm kiss to those sinfully plump lips of his that you still can’t get enough of no matter how many years go by…”No”

“ As your partner, I gotta look out for me just as much as I look out for you and I clearly haven’t been! I know better! And I should be taking advantage of the fact that we’re lucky enough to now be in a position where I can hire an array of people if need be. It’s just- you know I’m a control freak, this business isn’t just a business it’s our baby!”

You watch his mouth open in protest and you just simply continue speaking “But regardless, I know it’s not more important than me, or my health I know…” You instantly feel the tension within his body dissipate at that, thumbs kneading at your hips.

“ I’m sorry, I love you and I’m sorry I’m not trying to stress daddy out!'' There's a slight playfulness to your delivery trying to lighten the mood a little though you know how serious this topic is for him! You find yourself wiggling in his hold trying to somehow get even closer than you already were. 

So here’s the thing, back when you were in college just starting out, the two of you had a lot on your plate! Between school juggling multiple jobs, internships, and just trying to figure out how to even start a company of this caliber….The level of exhaustion he often saw you at was utterly heartbreaking. The number of times you passed out due to lack of sleep is unmentionable… so seeing you like this...was fucking unacceptable in Namjoon’s eyes! 

You notice those big brown orbs of his get a little glassy so you grip the back of his neck even tighter dropping your forehead to his. Feeling like complete and utter trash right now! 

 “This business is not more important than my wife, my partner, my best friend...it’s not! However, you are more important than, all of it, this fuckin overpriced apartment, all the shiny little toys we’ve been able to buy, and this entire company in general! I love you, but I need you to look me in the eyes and fucking promise me that you’ll stop this! Please…” 

You can hear a slight trimmer laced within that deep honey-coated tenor of his and the sudden vibrato’s foreign, and you’re not a fan! It took everything in you not to cry at the blatant plea rolling off his tongue, well aware this man does not beg! So instead you just leaned in and kissed him, hard, slow, just letting everything you couldn’t really articulate pour from your lips to his and hope he got the message. 

“I promise, I love you…I promise!”

“And you know I fuckin love you…”  You do, fuck you do, even if this marriege was high key an accidnet..it’s without a doubt one of the best things that’s ever happened to you!

“I know”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck, yeah”

Ducking down, kissing you reckless and with fevour, messy, wet, teeth clacking together. Slowly transitioning the mood from deep and touching to just...raw and nasty which is kinda what you’d prefer at the moment!

 “I wasn’t lyin when I said I’ve wanted to fuck you all damn day though…”

“Please” you whisper out as he pulls back to lick down your neck, pressing your chest together to give him better access. Sucking his mark in a spot right beneath your jaw, well aware you’ll need an ass-ton of conclear within the next couple of hours, but right now you could care less!  

“Please what baby? Tell daddy, what you want?” Namjoon presses, biting his lip and sliding his hand back between your legs groaning out at how completely drenched you are right now. 

“Fuck me!” You pant out low and whiney

“You want it here baby? You want daddy to bend you over the table?” The familiar hunger that was back in his eyes was so fucking sexy and  it had you rutting against him for any ounce of stimulation! 

“No.Bedroom” Namjoon moans in agreement, securing your thighs around his waist and scoping you out of the chair, heading towards the opulent master suite the two of you shared.

Once inside he throws you down on the bed, hard and almost animalistic, making you bounce a little against the firm California king. Namjoon follows immediately, crawling over to cover your body with his own, his broad form completely engulfing your frame. Ripping your robe apart, and letting your tongues meet once more. Hot slick, and eager as you pant out hot and heavy against one another. Soothing is palm down your stomach, cupping your entire heat in his palm. Moaning out that it feels just fuckin like that. Wet and warm, so damn warm...ducking his head down to lick your nipple into his mouth, sucking slow but hard at the same time, nipping and grazing the bud between his teeth.

“Fuck” You moan back arching off the bed and into your husband’s mouth, as he licks trails across your sternum and over to your other nipple. While also stroking his entire palm against your pussy, Namjoon’s always loved how responsive you are to him even after all these years. Just letting his tongue lave over the buds over and over, alternating between, licking, sucking, and biting so your body never gets used to the stimulation. 

“You fuckin, love this shit don’t, you? Bet I could get you to come just like this...wouldn’t be the first time, would it?” You can feel his lips curling into a smirk around your nipples the harder he sucks, bringing his other hand into the mix, the one that’s nice and slick with your arousal. Using it to twist and turn your nipple between his nimble fingers until he can’t tell if your arching into the pain or away from it. He can feel you grinding against his thigh, more importantly, he can feel your clit sticking to his thigh your so damn wet, soaking straight through his sweatpants. Moaning out loud and unfiltered, eyes shut as you rock your hips against him, your hands getting lost in your hair the harder you rock against the bed.

“Fuck, look at you baby, rubbing your sweet little cunt against my thigh..” A low almost arrogant chuckle rumbling in his throat, vibrating against your skin making you moan even louder. “Fuck, here I was thinking you wanted to come on my dick...” 

“Fuck- I do, I wanna come all over you, want your mouth too though…” Reaching out to play in his hair, almost pushing his face down even harder, though you swear you can feel his lips curl into a wicked little smile at that moment. 

“Yeah? You want daddy's tongue all over your pussy…” He didn’t even bother phrasing it as a question, especially once he meticulously started rolling his tongue along your nipples, in a oh too familiar motion that had you turning into a whiny brat within seconds! 

“Namjoon!” He doesn’t even respond, just pulling off and flipping you right on to your stomach, hard and fast, making you damn near choke on your own spit. Face pressed into your fresh linen sheets.. You start to slightly arch your back on insctint. You feel him shift off the bed, peeping over your shoulder to see his sliding off his sweats, stashing his glasses in his side pocket. Namjoons length is just standing straight up, damn near laying flat against his stomach and you straight up moan, mouth-watering at the sight alone. A pleased hum leaves those plump lips of his as he shuffles back onto the bed. Kissing and licking his way up the back of your thighs until he reaches your ass, straddling your hips. 

Palm rubbing at the swell of your ass before smacking it, lightly at first, and your hip twitches you actually have the nerve to giggle. “That all daddy’s go-fuck” Another. Scream. Literally. Scream as he reels back even harder than he did earlier, just keeping his hand intact too, wanting you to feel the trob, the ache, radiating off his palm to your ass. 

“Hmm what was that baby?” Leaning down to spread your cheeks apart, just blowing a trail, against your pussy, watching the way your hole clenches from that alone. “Always so fuckin wet and ready for me…” 

He groans and you, arch your back, even more, moaning out slightly at the contrast hitting your skin. Bracing both hands on your ass and he can hear your breathing shutter in your chest, already anticipating the first drag of his tongue. Dipping one thumb over you rim, just circling it gently, feeling you jerk at the sensation, no matter how light, fuck your still so damn sensitive. That will never stop amazing him, it’s been almost 8 years. Yet you still react like it’s the first time he’s ever touched you like he’s still helping you explore new places along your own body! Namjoon leans forward, nipping, licking, and sucking, open mouth kisses, against the backs of your thighs, before leaning down to kiss your clit. Tongue and all, sucking it straight into his mouth, moaning out deep and strong around the bud. Inhaling slowly as if he's breathing you in and your knees already start to buckle,  nails clenching around the sheets. 

A broken moan of his name being muffled into the fabric, as he rolls his tongue in deep, languid strokes up and down your folds, licking from front to back. Your wetness is already painted all over his face and he wouldn’t have it any other way, as he continuously, maliciously sucks down on your clit, gently grazing the skin between his teeth just enough to make you squirm. Bringing his tongue to lather over your rim and he feels how hard you start shaking, sliding in two fingers into your heat, knuckles deep at the exact moment he slips his tongue past your rim. The vision that is you, open, needy, and whiney, on all fours...is driving your husband absolutely insane! How quickly you’re falling apart, knees spreading even wider to give him all the access he needs to do with you as he pleases. 

“Yeah..” You sign, blissed out of you goddamn mind ‘Fuck”

Your voice drips in the whiniest tinge of need imaginable like you’ve been aching for this, and the sounds richotect straight off your tongue and into Namjon’s lap! Your chest drops forward, letting Namjoon essentially all support your weight, as his tongue dives in even deeper, while continuously fucking you open with his fingers, he’s already added a third one. Mind completely spinning at how hard your clenching around all three of his fingers, cock throbbing at how good you’ll feel around him soon enough. You feel him pull back to spit right along your rim, watching it drizzle down toward your clit, he picks the trail up with his tongue and leads it where he wants it to go. Namjoon moans out, low, and content as he really starts to eat you out your tongue and fingers working your pussy open until your voice hitches in your throat and shatters. Ripping, a long drawn out whimper to leave your throat.

“That feel good?” He murmurs low and taunting, and you can’t help but roll your eyes, as if he can’t physically tell he feels good.

“I’ve had better”

He bites your cheek playful, a snort leaving his lips “Fuckin same..” slurs out against the swell of your ass and you can’t help but cackle.

“Fuck, I bet you have now, stop talking and get your fucking tongue back in ME!!” Bossy as ever, damn near pushing his head down and he reaches up, biting the side of your hand forcing you to stop. 

“How about my cock instead?” Leaning back to smack his length aginst your ass a couple times, letting you feel how hard and ready he is. 

“Yeah! God yeah, fuck yeah! Gimme! In me now! Fuck me!!” All your prior teasing is gone, just the mention of his cock has you needy and clenching painfully hard around his fingers, while also simultaneously rutting back against them as if you don’t want him to pull out. Pulling his fingers out slowly. Curling them upwards, purposely coating his fingers in your arousal to use to lather his cock which is so hard right now it’s almost painful. 

“Daddy” Wiggling your offensively empty ass in his face, making him chuckle, and smack it lightly. before gripping your thigh and flipping you onto your back with such ease it was almost offensive. 

“Nam-”

“Fuck off” Leaning down and stealing your breath and sarcasm away with a deep kiss “I wanna see my baby..” Lining himself up to your entrance, you exhale softly against his mouth as the blunt head of his cock breaches your entrance. Hiking your leg around Namjoon’s waist to make him slide in even deeper.

“Yeah, fuck” 

“I hope you don’t think…” Shifting forward wiggly his hips a little, giving you half a second to adjust to how fucking big this man is! “We’re about to make love or some shit, because I’m about to break your ass..” There’s just as much of a smile as there is a dangerous edge to your husband’s voice, that has you beaming up at him. Before you even had time to think of a response he was snapping his hips forward hard enough to have the two of you scooting up the bed a little.

Namjoon, propped your leg even higher over his shoulder, as he snapped his hips forward again, even harder this time. You moaned out, and scurried to grab onto your husband’s neck to anchor yourself as he fucked into you hard and fast, you tried to arch and fuck him back but it was hard with how intense he was pounding into you! 

“Oh my godddd” You drawled out, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“Yup, Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been called that, in this position.....” You could hear the smile in his voice as he continued fucking you like he was trying to split you open with his cock. Nails clawing into his back hard enough to break skin! 

You could’ve just laid there and took, it because fuck if it wasn’t good, but that’s not the mood you were in at the moment. So you dropped your leg from his shoulder and wrapped them both around his waist. Tipping your hips forward, clenching down hard around his cock as you started grinding your hips against him. Fucking him back the same way he was giving it to you. Hard and smooth.. 

“Y/n” He half growled half whined as you smiled up at him, something wicked, releasing your hold around his cock only to clench down even harder. He groans in what seemed like frustration reached down to smack pinch your clit between his fingers hard enough to make you cry out his name. Arching forward even harder. 

“Yeah, daddy like that, fuck.Me.just like that” you were breathless but the sass was clear as day, a slight chuckle leaving your throat. 

“Fuckin brat!” Reaching down with the same hand that was on your clit, wrapping it around your windpipe, adding just enough pressure to have your eyes rolling to the back off your head. The added stimulation throwing off your rhythm a little but you didn’t care, he had you…

“Yesss,yes, fuck!” His tattooed chest was flushed and covered in sweat as you continued fucking back against his cock, which was warm and continuously pulsing side of you. Filling you up and sliding completely out every single time. Your hole twitched painfully hard as the two of you worked in sync thrusting against each other in a smooth yet malicious rhythm, the sound of skin slapping you moaning, Namjoon grunting... 

Fuck an edible arrangement maybe the two of you should treat your neighbors to a spa weekend or something because they damn sure aren’t sleeping right now! 

“Ya know, if you would’ve came to bed earlier” He panted right into the side of your ear, still rolling his hips into you “I could’ve fucked you, came inside you” Leaning down to lick up the side of your jaw  “Licked all, of my come out of you, and then” Pulling back and snapping his hips up even sharper, as if to accentuate every word “Fucked.You.All.Over.-Fuck-Again” Every thrust had the wind being knocked out of your chest  “ But now..we don’t have tim-” 

Reaching up to twist his nipple between the tip of your nail, kneeing him in the stomach just enough to make his hips stutter and have him shuffling back so you can push him onto his back which he falls to willingly. That is, until you literally bounced down onto his dick, damn near gagging in the process he feels so deep in this angle. Almost tempted to feel up your sternum and see if he’s poking through. 

“You little bitch” Chokes from his throat with a stated smile the tones playful and airy, digging his nails into your ass, letting out an involuntary gasp as he rolls his hips up. Only for you to start rolling your hips back, again, and again, and again, in deep, slow, circles, switching up the pace a little from what it was before. Making sure your clit grazes against his pelvic bone every time.

“Yeah, fuck you” Your breathless, and tired, but you can’t help but smile at how completly fucked out he looks right now, eyes barley ajar, jaw tight, he looks so damn good! 

“Yeah, yeah, fuck daddy baby..fuck me..” It’s clear he’s only egging you on but fuck if it’s not working,he sounds down right sinful as you ride him. His moans are deep, loud, almost needy, at every roll your hips make, and it’s intoxicating! Reaching up and grabbing you down by your neck , licking his way back into our mouth, his grip is strong enough to without a doubt leave a bruise. Both of you moaning out pleased and needy as you start slamming your hips down meeting his upwards thrust. Instantly matching the pace he’d set. Namjoon pulls back, and slips three fingers into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat to make you gag a little. Exchanging the grip he held on your neck for the back of your hair, as he brings his other hand down between your bodies to play with your clit, before licking his way back into your mouth.Feeling the way your thighs start to shake as you cry out against his tongue barely able to kiss him back at this point . 

“Your fuckin close baby, your pussy’s just screamig around me..” He’s breathless, not even trying to hide it anymore, voice horse and dripping with arousal. “Goddamnn I love you…” You clench so damn hard around him at that..I actually don't think anything turns you on more than hearing your husband say that. Especially sounding all fucked out and needy.

“Love you too baby..so fuckin much… “

“Good”  He chuckled low and dark agaisnt your lips “Now come, all over my cock like a good girl”  Fucking into you faster and harder, hand still rubbing blunt circles around your clit, tightening the grip he holds on your hair until your roots burn  “Y/n , baby, my baby, come for me, come for daddy...” 

It only took a few more thrusts before your orgasm ripped through you and you were crying out your husband's name, body spasming on top of him. Yet you still didn't stop rutting against him until he came in. You couldn't, you needed to feel it, body running away from him just as much as it was running towards him! You can feel how hard your clenching and its involnaty this time,so he reaches up with both hands rolling your hips against him one more time before slamming you down onto his cock. Just holding you in place while you continue to pulse around him, body shattering to pieces.

“Namjoonnnn fuck-fuck-fuck-” He grounds you agaisnt his cock as he jerks his hips up hard and fast, eyes squezzing shut, neck arching off the pillow, as his relase washed over him. A long drawn out moan of your name slipped off his tongue as he came, hard, hips stilling making sure to fill you to the brim, until he's sure he released every last drop he had to give..His own body shuttering in ovesentivty at this point. Namjoons fingers slowly soothed up your thighs, both of you panting painfully hard, wincing at the contact as you continue pulsing around him. Eyes locked in a half lidded gaze, a smile that started on your lips and ended on his as the two of you racked over each other's forms, hot sweaty, marked up, and fucked out. 

“Namjoon” You finally say, breaking the silence, a slight moan hanging off your tongue and he smiled back at you, reaching up to grip the back of your neck.

“Y/n” Parroting your name with the same lust filled drawl that you had, making you moan…

Nam-fucking-Joon” Leaning down to place a firm kiss to his lips, humming out instanly at the contact.

“Y/n Kim….” 

“Yup, that’s me!” Smiling out tired and dazed against his lips, while you felt his hand soothe up and down the curve of your back. 

“I love you”

“And, I love you” 

The two of you laid there like that for a moment, until his cock was completely soft and he gently slid out, still keeping you flush against his chest….just sitting in comfortable silence, breathing together..until..

“ Oww!! What the fuck was that for ?!” Your poor ass...at least it’s a pinch and not a smack this time...

“I mean it. I love what we do and I know sometimes realistically it happens there are only so many hours in a day I understand that. We wouldn’t be where we are if we didin’t work our asses off! But you’ve been doing this and running on fumes all damn week! I’ve just been watching from afar and keeping my mouth shut, hoping that you would sort it out yourself but I couldn’t watch you burn yourself into the ground anymore. Y/n. I’m serious! “

You can feel the weight behind his words, the way his heart seems to be beating harder now than it was when the two of you were having sex. 

So you lean down to press a kiss on his lips that almost seems far too delicate and out of place for what just happened only moments prior.

“I know.” 

Namjoon holds your gaze for a second longer before cupping the side of your face and kissing you firm and sweet, smiling against your lips once he feels you sigh into it. Hesitantly he pulls away and heads towards the bathroom and he already hears you whine in protest. Just flagging his hand in your direction, not even bothering to turn around.

 “We literally have a 9 AM flight and an 11:30 business meeting at the Plaza! Meaning, you have to be dressed and fully ready when we hop on the plane. Your fuckin showering..now. I don’t wanna hear it. ” 

Honestly, you were far too tired to protest and the tone of his voice let you know you wouldn’t win anyway!  So I mean, fuck, at least there’s a bench in the shower! 

“Ugh, fuck, fine! Come carry me! I have to preserve my energy to walk in my Louboutins tomorrow!!!” Making grabby hands in his direction knowing damn well he can’t deny you anything. 

“You mean today!” You heard his voice echo off the tiles and hoenstly he seems far to chipper to remind you have of, which only makes you whine even louder! 

Heading back out the bathroom with a smirk on his face, shaking his head in dismay as he scoops you effortlessly into his arms. “Come here you little brat!” 

“Your brat!” You fire back, with nothing but smugness rolling off your tongue as you loop your arms around his neck, kissing his dimple.

“Fuck yeah you are, my brat, my wife, my fuckin baby” Inviting his tongue back into your mouth as he leads the two of you back into the bathroom! 

The two of you moved together lazily whilst in the shower, taking turns washing each other, slow touches and kisses. Murmuring sweet nothings mixed in with business because though you tried to leave work at work...sometimes it’s impossible! 

Not even bothering to look at the clock once you finally melted into your bed, honestly, you didn’t even wanna know. 

~~~

 Far too soon the sound of all 6 of your alarms went off, ya know, the “Okay I should get up but I don’t have to get up” All the way to the “Fuck, I’m late!” Alarm! They all went off until you found yourself practically being scraped off the floor and led into the guest room that the two of you converted into an additional closet and a place for you to get ready in peace! 

Sitting down, Starbucks in hand as you set out to beat your face, do your hair and try not to look like you stayed up until 1 am then got fucked into the mattress until you damn near cried! 

The Starbucks was curiosity of Taehyung who had keys and free reign to your apartment whenever we felt so inclined. The redhead welcomed himself into your space, waltzing over in your direction with an all-knowing smile on his face. Ducking down to leave a slow lingering, open mouthed kiss along the one mark on your shoulder you apparently forgot to cover this morning. You can feel him smirking against your skin,as he pulls back to flop down on the pink furry chair currently covered in rejected outfit choices. Trying to force yourself to ignore the sudden chill that rang through your body because you didin’t have the time or the engery for anything else. 

‘Why aren’t you wearing this? Your ass looks fuckin great in this!” Holding up a black halterneck Jumpsuit, brows furrowed in the center of his face.

“I know, but, it needs to be steamed and I don’t have the time..” A feigned pout playing on your lips as you batted your lashes at him through the mirror. Watching as he slid off the chair, with an exasperated huff, eyes rolling to the back of his head more times than you can count. Heading towards the steamer you had hanging along one of your many clothes racks.  

“Thank you, baby!!” Blowing him a kiss that he swatted away in the process! 

“Yeah, yeah! Soo I see someone was impatient and went through the resumes last night…At fuckin midnight!” Eyes glaring in your direction, you could hear the frown in his voice. “Y/n-“

“Don’t!” Eyes narrowing in his direction through the mirror “Daddy Joon already got in my ass enough about last night for all of you!” 

 “As he fuckin should! That’s what you have me for baby, so you aren’t doing that shit to yourself anymore!” You can tell he’s trying to sound authoritative but instead, he just sounds sad and equally disappointed!”

“I know, Tae, I know, I’m fuckin workin’ on it!.” Your delivery comes out a little sharper than you intended but he’s known you far too long to take it personally or even fully acknowledge it honestly! 

“Speaking of, I actually met this kid, not fully a kid he’s like 21, but anyway he just graduated from USC, for some sort of Film. I actually ran into him at Starbucks today and he’s supposed to be sending me his resume and some video reels in a little while.” 

A low hum ringing in the back of your throat, far too focused on carving out your brows to talk...but he took that as a hint to continue. 

“His name is Jungkook, he seems somewhat promising just from talking to him, so, I’ll feel it out and if it seems worth your time I’ll forward over his information! I’m also going to try and set up a couple of interviews for you and Joonie next week!” 

Offering a faint nod in response, still far too focused on your makeup to give much else, or realize the sudden fire burning in Taehyung's eyes as he watches you get ready. Silk robe hanging loosely off your frame, a pair of white lace panties peeking out...

“What time were the two of you trying to get dropped off at the airport?” The sudden shift in conversation, and the blatant octave change had your eyes meeting him through the mirror. Trying to feel out his mood…

“In the next hour or so…” Then there’s Namjoon, standing in the doorway wearing nothing but his dress pants, an unbuttoned silk shirt, and a smirk that screams nothing but trouble. 

“Come’re” The bass in Namjoon’s voice alone has chills running down your spine, a second away from shifting out of your seat until you realize he’s not talking to you. Flicking his finger in the redhead’s direction, edging him off the wall slowly. Biting his lip as he sways coyly in your husband’s direction. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE! FOR NOW, IF YOU LIKED IT.. ,SHOW THIS SOME LOVE AND I’LL CONSIDER ADDING TO IT!  I DID MAP OUT THE FIRST 3 CHAPTERS LAST YEAR WHEN I STARTED THIS BUT I DIDN’T PHYSICALLY WRITE THEM! BTW I KNOW I DIDIN’T MENTIONED ALL OF THEM, BUT ALL O BTS MINUS KOOK WORK FOR THE OC AND NAMJOON!

MASTER LIST 

[sleepypeaky]

amore?

michael gray x italian american male reader

wc: 1.5k

warnings: mentions of death, scars, you know the drill

request: My gay italian ass self would LOVE a Micheal Gray fic, but like, not sure he would like a guy who's italian after that fucking Luca incident.. and I dont know if you write for mlm..

a/n:  I hope you enjoy! idk why i made it so long but when i get a plot in my head i mean,,,,,

also i always try not to describe the readers features so everyone can be represented and i full mean for that when i say early on that michael sees him as italian. I personally dont look italian besides my nose- somehow the like 2% irish overrided it- so obviously this is a little off but i didnt know where to fix it

1927

Michael sat in his desk chair facing the window.

He was in New York City, he was the head of this branch of the company.

But he still felt like something was missing. Naturally, part of that feeling was from the fact that he had been exiled from his home. But the other was something else, boredom maybe, depression, loneliness. 

He sighed and turned back to his desk, where his meetings planner was open to the days page. 

His first meeting was a clandestine one, booked under a guise of what it really was. It was always intriguing, Michael thought, running a company that was a front. 

What he knew of this client was they were attached to one of the city’s hundreds of speakeasies, what these prohibition inhibited Americans called their secret pubs. And he assumed the client was coming to purchase some quality booze from the Shelby Company Limited.

What he he didn’t expect was who they were going to send. 

Normally the heads of the pubs sent someone to broker the deal in their place, a tall weasel faced man usually, who reeked of alcohol from every pore. 

Instead, when his secretary opened the door, an incredibly striking Italian lad strode through.

-

You weren’t expecting to see a man like that behind the desk. You figured it’d be some slimy old guy getting rich off of the illegal cash. Not a charming and incredibly handsome British boy.

-

“Uh hi, I’m Michael, Michael Gray.” He held his hand out to you and you shook it.

“I’m (y/n) (l/n).”

 He offered you a seat. 

“You’re not from around here are you?” You said.

He chuckled, “What gave it away?”

The deal was done in barely a half hour. But somehow you both found yourselves at lunch. 

“So how did you find yourself in, well, this line of work?” Michael asked.

“Well it’s pretty simple, there’s always work for people who don’t mind taking risks.” Michael smiled at that. You continued, 

“but I could ask you the same question.”

“Well lets say that this is one of the less illegal ventures of my family. And as you put it, risks are lucrative.”

“Ill cheers to that.” You smiled and raised a glass.

-

The lunches happened again, and then again.

Soon you were meeting daily, making up further excuses for getting to know each other.

-

“My family is, well, its complicated...” Michael chuckled one day as you were at lunch.

You smirked, “Michael, i’m Italian. My family is fucking nuts, trust me, your’s is no worse than mine.”

With people who had said that to Michael in the past he had laughed along and said sure, he was sure you meant it. Probably not in the same way, but he was in no position to argue.

“I might work in the illegal pub world, but some of my family is fucking nuts,”  You began. “My parents are fine, they came over from Italy before the war and brought my grandma, who i’m convinced my grandma used to be a spy or something in Italy. At least 3 of my cousins are working for the mob. It easy work for us, we’re all connected to one family or another between here and the old country.” You noticed a dark look on Michael’s face, a typical reaction “Dont worry, not the big guys like the Black hand, we don’t mix with Sicilians, they think they’re better because they live on an island.”

You went on for a bit more, just basic family outlining. And then it was his turn.

Michael went into the abbreviated version of his past (how he was taken and adopted) and the Shelby’s endeavors- the betting to drugs, smuggling, alcohol. Eventually he got up to the Changretta execution and John.

“John was killed by the Black hand in December ‘25.” 

“Stronzi, I’m sorry.” You cursed. 

He rubbed his right shoulder, “Yeah, after that my cousins decided to take down the boss, unfortunately I made some stupid decisions that could have ruined the plan and ended up exiled here.”

He took a weak bite of food. You tried to lighten the mood.

“Well, you weren’t kidding when you said you’re family was complicated.” 

You both laughed.

Shortly after this lunch you were both walking back to his office when a group of black clad men passed by on the street. They passed by without issue, but you saw that Michael paled and clenched his jaw. They were blatantly Black Hand. You saw he was rubbing his right shoulder again, nd you now figured it was a nervous habit. You endeavored to take his mind off it and started a new conversation.

-

About a month following this, you had brought Michael to the bar where you worked. You danced to the jazz and drank heavily, both getting caught in the energy of the decade. 

You ended up back at his office, now the only ones there, and he cracked open a hidden bottle of Shelby malt. 

Now both of you were on several glasses of liquor from the night, you found yourself floating in and out of conscious perception. Though you came to, suddenly, when you realized your lips were quite incriminatingly interlocked with Michael’s. 

Your inhibitions lowered, you continued gladly. And before anything progressed you both passed out drunk on his office floor.

-

You didn’t talk to him the next day. Mostly because your hangover was so severe you thought you would have permanent brain damage, but also because you were not sure how to proceed.

It would be easy to pretend like nothing had ever happened. To blame it on the booze, or just claim you didn’t have any recollection of the night. That was also gnawing at you, what if Michael didn’t remember?

It would be easy to just move past it, but did you want that?

-

Michael still felt the slight pressure in his head after 2 days. He rubbed his eyes and put the cigarette back to his lips. He was sitting in his apartment contemplating. He knew what he wanted, but did he want to risk it.

The door buzzer rang as he stumped the cigarette out. Who was calling at this hour? He took his pistol from the table.

He walked along the passageway to the door, he unlocked it and looked through the crack.

His heart skipped a beat and he released his grip on the gun.

“I got your address from your secretary.” You said. “I hope that’s o–” 

Michael cut you off by pulling you inside and kissing you against the shut door. You gave in to surprise and kissed back, pushing him through the hallway. 

Without breaking you unbuttoned your shirt and let it fall in your path. He broke for a breath of air.

You kissed him again and began to unbutton his shirt. He pulled back quickly to say something, but it was too late. You had already seen them.

Two knotted scars on his right shoulder.

“Michael what-”

“I didn’t want to tell you.” He looked down. “I was scared.”

Still in shock you watched as he finished unbuttoning his shirt. Low on his abdomen were two more scars. 

Suddenly in your mind you connected the signs, talking about john, the Sicilians, and the instinctive rub of his shoulder.

“They shot you too.” You said in a barely audible whisper.

Michael only nodded.

You walked forward and reached a tentative hand out to one on his shoulder. Tears prickled your eyes. You walked around to his back, you hand trailing over the soft skin before finding the exit scars from 3 of the bullets.

Michael turned to face you. 

“I didn’t think you’d ever find out.” 

You nodded.

He put his hand behind your head and guided it back to his. 

-

“What do your parents think?” Michael asked later.

Your head was tucked in the curve of his neck, your arm laying over his bare chest, playing carelessly with the sheet draped over it.

“My dads not really invested around to care, i think he knows but it’s just brushed over. Ma still thinks that maybe if she pushes the right Italian girl at me i’ll change. But honestly?” You laughed. “You’re catholic, she’ll be over the moon.” 

Michael smiled and threaded his fingers through your hand.

“What about you?” You moved back a little to see his face better, “Does anyone know?”

Michael let out a deep breath, the one that normally proceeded any talk referring to his family. 

“There was always so much going on that i didn't have much time to process, much less let anyone else see it. There were girls, i wont lie. That may have thrown them off. Even now, i think there is so much actual bad going on that what i do wouldn't make any of them bat an eye.”

“Is this what you want?”

He looked at you,

“I didn’t know until now.”

You breathed. 

“And?”

“More than anything.”

And he kissed you again.

☾ ✧ ☾ ✩ ☾ ✧ ☾ ✩ ☾

☾ ✧ ☾ ✩ ☾

☾ ✧ ☾ ✩

☾ ✧ ☾

☾ ✧

☾

[heyheydidjaknow]

Can I have a lighthearted chapter? No, I cannot. Can I upload at the due date? Also no. But you can always count on me to make characters suffer. I would say that I'm sorry, but then I would be a liar.

Chapter 8

“Will you shut up?”

Donatello looks up from his computer. “Huh?”

Raphael’s eyes do not leave his magazine. “You’ve been muttering under your breath for the past hour and it’s starting to get on my nerves.”

“You’ll live.”

“You won’t for long if you don’t cut that shit out.”

He sighs. “Are you ever content with just leaving me be?”

“As your brother? No.” He sets the article down. “You’ve been acting weird all week. Usually, I could not care less, but you wreck enough shit without the added benefit of being distracted.”

He looks back at the screen. “So, I’m a ticking time bomb to you?”

“Yes.”

He looks back at the screen as he tries to think of how to answer. “It’s just that…”

“Oh, wait, don’t tell me.” He smirks. “You’re all depressed because your girlfriend has a life.”

He goes red. “I don’t care if—she’s not my girlfriend, first of all.” His voice rises.

“Sure, sure.” He stretches. “You know, typically, girls aren’t into guys who obsess over them.”

“Look, I’m worried about her!” He sets the computer down.

He blinks. “Why?”

“Are you kidding?” He throws his hands up in exasperation. “She killed a man!”

“Yeah,” he nods, “and I’m pissed I wasn’t the one to do it. What’s your point?”

“True,” he smiles cooly. “What you fail to consider, however, is that the rest of us aren’t psychotic.”

“I’m hurt.” He places his hand on his chest. “I will have you know that I’m definitely sane.”

“See, this is why nobody comes to you about their problems.” He leans his head back. “You ask why I’m down, and you immediately give me a hard time.”

They both turn their heads toward the entrance as their two other brothers walk back into the lair.

“How’d it go?” Raph gets up to meet them.

“You didn’t miss anything.” Leo sits down next to Donnie, glancing at his laptop before staring at the empty television screen. “Nobody was there.”

“Really?” Donnie’s eyes tear away from his computer screen. “Nobody?”

“Man, it was weird.” Michelangelo stays standing. “It was, like, two bots and then nothin’.”

“That is incredibly suspicious.” The tallest brother saves his work. “You used the stuff, right?”

“Worked like a charm.” Leonardo stretches. “So, what’d we miss?”

“Donnie bitching about not talking to his girlfriend for a whole week.”

“Can it,” he hisses.

“Donnie,” his brother speaks from next to him, “I’m sure that Y/N is perfectly fine. If you’re worried about her, you can and should go check on her.”

He groans. “If it were that simple, I would’ve done that by now.” He holds his head. “But what would I even say?”

He sighs, “I’m not going to say the same thing every time.” He gets up. “Mikey, you try. I’m going to go meditate if anyone wants to join.”

“Hey!” Mikey sticks his tongue out at him. “How come I have to do it?”

“Because Raphael is as cuddly as an eel.”

Raph glares. “Do you wanna go right now?”

“See?” He walks off. “And I did it last time. Your turn.” They hear the doors to the dojo slide closed behind him.

Mikey sits down in Leo’s spot. “If you want,” he offers as his brother walks off to the dojo, “I can try talking to her.”

“Would you?” He sighs. “I’m not good at this sort of thing.”

“For sure, man.” He gives him a thumbs up. “What are brothers for?”

“If you don’t make him do things,” Raphael warns, “he’s never going to learn to do them.”

“Man, he’s our bro.” He wraps an arm around his neck. “You can’t just leave your bro out to dry.”

“The hell I can’t.” He gets to his feet. “You guys have fun with that. I’ll be in my room.” He walks off, taking his pet turtle with him.

“Don’t listen to him.” He shoots his brother a thumbs up. “I’m sure everything will work out.” Mikey hopped to his feet. “Be back in a bit.” He waved, running out of the lair. “I’ll be back in ten.”

--

The look on his face is less than reassuring.

“Well?” Donatello, who has been checking the time religiously, is sitting at the door like a dog waiting for his owner. “How did it go?”

He smiles tightly. “I have good news and bad news.”

He groans, holding his head in his hands. “Just tell me.”

“Well,” he says hesitantly, crouching down in front of him, “she’s not dead.”

“That isn’t exactly a high bar to hurdle.” He takes a deep breath. “What’s the bad news?”

He pauses. “She’s… freaked out.”

“On a scale of one to ten,” he asks slowly, “with one being—”

“Nine.” His younger brother nods certainly. “At least a nine.”

He stands up. “I should go check on her.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what to do.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I think I made things worse, actually.”

“What else is new?” He runs out. “Tell Leo I’m going out,” he calls over his shoulder. He does not wait for a reply.

He does not blame himself entirely for the events currently happening; he is well aware that her inclusion into their mess was not willed by him. However, a part of him can not shake the belief that he and his brothers have, by virtue of their lifestyle, caused her more pain than he had ever wanted. A part of him, still, believes that he or someone else should have bitten the bullet; of them, you should be the last person in line to murder.

‘I should’ve said something, done something.’

He lands down on your roof, starting to scale down the building. You have left your window open: he can see your floral curtains fluttering in the autumn breeze. Artificial light streams from your apartment as soft music plays from inside. He lands on your windowsill carefully, reaching in past the curtains to knock on your wall. “Y/N?”

He hears the music shut off the shuffling of bedsheets, three steps. You pull the curtain open.

You have not slept in a week. You have continued to go to school, scared as to what would happen if you did not, but you have not eaten or drank in a while either; more accurately, nothing has stayed down. You have contributed these things, easily, to the newly introduced variety in your nightmares. You wonder, now, if seeing his body would have been such a bad thing; your head has conjured up every possible position he might have fallen in, anyhow. At least, if you knew, you would only have one image torturing you as opposed to the seemingly different variations your head could come up with.

Donnie is not a psychologist. He has never been able to fully grasp the subject as much as the others in the scientific field; all of medicine, for that matter, has, regrettably, been hard for him to wrap his head around, what with how different he and his brother are from humans, physiologically. His master was the closest he had to an actual human until you had shown up, but he was hardly exemplary of your typical human. However, be it by what knowledge he does have or by the way you hold yourself, he can easily tell you are off. The color in your face is gone, the bags under your eyes larger than he has ever seen them on you, and every move seems oddly sluggish to him.

“Oh, hey.” You smile tiredly. “If you’re here about Michelangelo, he was just here a few minutes ago.”

“I’m not.” He climbs inside. “He got back to the lair ten or so minutes ago. Are you alright?”

Your eyes are flooded with black for a moment, a wave of numb pain and vertigo washing over you as you spread your stance slightly, not wanting to trip over your own feet. You hold your face in your hand as you steady yourself. “Totally.” You wince as you nodded. ‘Let’s not move our head more than we need to.’

Years of attentiveness and common sense tell him that you are blatantly lying. “What happened?”

“Huh?” You close your eyes. “Oh, nothin.” You take a couple steps back, slowly sitting back down on the bed, which was covered in packets. “Please,” you insist, “make yourself comfortable.”

He shuts the curtains, crouching down in front of you to look your features over more closely as he tries to identify what, exactly, is wrong with you. “Am I allowed to touch you?”

You look down at him from your seat. “I mean,” you sigh, “you _can_, if you want. Just not anywhere a general physician wouldn’t touch, alright?” You give him a half-hearted thumbs up. “I trust you to know where you can and can’t put your hands.” You highly doubt that he has any bad intentions, really, but you want to make your intentions clear.

“O-oh, of course,” he nods quickly. “I wouldn’t do anything you wouldn’t—well, not that you wouldn’t—” his face went red. “I-I mean—”

“Dude, relax.” You roll your eyes good-naturedly. “Take a deep breath or I’m gonna the wrong idea.”

He does “S-sorry.” He rubs the back of his neck. “That was weird.”

“You’re all good.”

He presses the back of his hand against your forehead. “You don’t have a fever,” he notes, still red in the face. “Did you eat anything you normally wouldn’t?”

You give him a thumbs down. “I’ve only had soup. Do you want some?”

He blinks. “Soup?”

“Yeah.” You look back at the kitchen, where a pot of soup is sitting on the counter. “Ran out of leftovers a couple days ago.”

His eyes widen. “Days?”

You nod, wincing as you feel your brain pounding against your skull. “Yeah,” you sigh. “It’s been hard to keep things down. Glad I ran out, actually; I think I got a—”

He cuts you off. “How many days do you take between meals?”

You pause. “Now?” You shrug. “One meal every day or two.”

“Day or two?”

“Again,” you repeat, very confused as to why he looks as though he is about to have a heart attack right then and there, “it’s been hard keeping stuff down lately.”

“How are you not dead?”

You blink. “I beg your pardon?”

His voice rises as his speech sped up. “How many cups of that do you eat in a sitting?”

You sit up properly. “Maybe three or four and a couple pieces of toast?”

He looks about ready to pass out. “Are you insane,” he cries, an octave higher than usual.

You cover his mouth with your hand. “Shut up,” you hiss. “You’re gonna wake my neighbors up.”

He stops talking, grabbing your hand and pulling it off his mouth. He gets up, muttering something about being ridiculous as he pours you an unusually large bowl of soup and placing it in your lap. “Eat.” He stands there, glaring at you pointedly.

You are, admittedly, surprised by his icy, commanding tone. You do as instructed. “You act as though I’ve poisoned myself,” you point out between bites. “It won’t kill me, you know.”

“I’m not a licensed dietitian,” he informs you, clearly upset, “but the recommended caloric intake for a woman is approximately four thousand calories—”

“That’s wrong.” You are already halfway through the bowl. “It’s two.”

“Do you seriously want to get into a debate on something science-related right now?” You are genuinely scared by his expression; every word sounds oddly lethal, as if they themselves could kill you.

You swallow, standing your ground. “We can look it up, if you want,” you offer. “I know for a fact I’m… right…”

He has glared directly at you. It almost shuts you up.

You quietly eat the rest of the bowl. You set your spoon down with a gentle clatter, clearing your throat as you try to ignore the way he was staring at you as if he were trying to dissect you with his eyes. “Done.” You showed him the empty bowl.

“You genuinely see nothing wrong with your dietary choices?”

You shake your head, immediately regretting it. “I know it’s unhealthy, but not to the same degree you seem to think it is.”

“And you honestly believe that you only need to eat two thousand calories to be healthy?” His tone was softer now, likely in reaction to how quickly you had recoiled.

You nod hesitantly, ignoring the way your head pounds.

He pauses. “We’ll talk about that later,” he decides. “For now, I have to ask: why can’t you keep food down, exactly?”

You lean back, placing the bowl on the nightstand. You stay like that, closing your eyes. “I just keep seeing it,” you explain simply. “Hearing it, too; it’s kinda like tasting really bad and then having the aftertaste stuck on your tongue, but for memories. Or like doing something embarrassing and, every once and awhile, having something happen to remind you of it.”

“It? Oh.” As soon as he says the words out loud, he knows what you are referring to.

“Yup.” You pop the P. “I dunno if you knew, but it doesn’t splat.”

A heavy silence smothers you both, despite the sounds of the city.

You feel the bed shift. Your eyes glance over at the man lying next to you, hands folded across his stomach as he stares at the ceiling.

“I honestly don’t know what to say.” He sighs. "I wish I knew how to do right by you.”

“You don’t have to—”

He cuts you off. “I want to, though.” He rubs his face with his hand. “I want to be able to invent something that makes things easier for you, to keep you from getting hurt.”

“Dude, it’s fine.” You punch his arm lightly. “I’ll be fine, eventually. Just not right now.” You smile weakly. “But, hey? At least my dreams have a bit of variety, right?”

“Dreams?”

You chuckle tightly. “It turns out my head is rather creative when it comes to ways the body can bend. I almost wish I had seen the bodies; then they could all be consistent.”

He groans. “See, it’s stuff like that that makes me feel bad about not being able—not that it’s your fault,” he back peddles. “I just—”

“Stop stressing so much,” you cut him off. “That’s my job. Don’t put yourself into a tizzy on my account.”

“How could I not?” He threw his hands up in the air. “I care about you, Y/N. I’m obviously going to care if you’re alright.”

You pause. “My mental stability should be the least of your concerns right now, what with Shredder and all.” You close your eyes. “The only reason he hasn’t beaten you and your brothers within an inch of your lives is that I knew where he’d be when. All things considered,” you roll over to face him, “my having bad nightmares is a small price to pay.”

Another silence.

You sigh. “You should probably get going.” You pull yourself onto your elbows, leaning forward onto your knees. “I gotta stake out Shredder’s lair tomorrow so you guys know when to come in.”

He sits up next to you. “Y/N, I—”

“You should stop worrying so much, alright?” You smile gently. “I have some sleep meds if your dad needs them.”

He opens his mouth to say something, pauses, closes it again. “Alright.” He stands up. “I’m sorry for bothering you.”

“You didn’t.” He didn’t.

He stops in his tracks.

You rest your head on your legs. “Yeah?”

“Will we see you tomorrow?”

You purse your lips. “I don’t know,” you admit. “I’ll definitely call you, though; it’ll be something of a feat to hijack a hijacked chemical truck.”

He looks back at you. “Please, be safe.”

You nod.

“Eat, too.”

You nod again.

“And drink?”

You roll your eyes teasingly. “Yeah, Dad, I’ll eat.”

His face flushes again. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You got it, buddy.”

You look so small.

‘I did that.’

He climbs onto the windowsill, hesitating to leave. “Goodnight.”

You wave lazily. “Goodnight, Donatello.”

He climbs out of your apartment.

You wait a minute or two before you close and lock your window. You pull the curtains shut properly behind him, walking back to the kitchen to put the food away.

You sigh, doleful. “Sorry.”

--

You were maybe thirteen years old. It feels like longer, but you were most certainly in middle school

Driving home after school one day, you had stared out the window, the radio playing something you half paid attention to. You don’t remember, now, what prompted the conversation—you figure it was some sort of assembly you had mentioned—but, somehow, the question of what to do if you were tied up in the back of someone’s car had been brought up. This was not an unusual line of conversation, considering your family’s conviction that you would be kidnapped someday, but you remember it specifically because, after he brought it up, you had run the scenario over in your head what felt like a thousand times.

“It depends on where you are in the car,” he had said. “If you’re in the back seat, you have to reach forward and try to choke the driver out, if you can’t get the doors open.”

“And if I’m in the front?”

“Ram your body against his. Get a hold of the wheel and swerve the car.

The line of thinking had confused you. “But,” you countered, “then the car would crash; we would both get hurt.”

“You have a better chance of surviving a car crash than whatever would happen to you once you get to wherever you’re going.”

You two had not spoken for the rest of the drive.

Now, you stare ahead at the road, eyes occasionally glancing at the man in the driver’s seat as you try to come up with a plan. You wish, now, that you had gone with your initial instinct to call instead of sending Leonardo a text message; who knows when he will get it?

“I feel almost sorry for you,” the man sneers. “You would be better off getting killed in the explosion than what’s going to happen to you.”

You say nothing.

“Hey?” He barks out a laugh. “You’ll get to see what happens to them.” He sighs happily. “I can see it now. The smoke, the fire, the smell.”

You eye the door. ‘Locked. Shit.’

“Those freaks won’t know what hit them.” He leans forward, staring at the truck in front of them. “Shouldn’t have messed with us if they didn’t want to meet their maker.”

‘Could I even survive it?’

“You know somethin’, kid?” He grips the wheel tighter. “I gotta give ya some respect; not a ton of kids would’ve come this far. Personally,” he shrugs, “I would’ve killed you right then, but Shredder wants more out of ya, apparently.”

‘Would he?’ You shift your feet to your right.

“I’ll thank you for one thing, though; I was getting sick of that pompous asshole.”

‘I just gotta get his hands away from the wheel. There are people in the back of this van. They’d survive, right?’ You fight to keep your breathing steady.

“For someone who hangs with those freaks, you ain't slick, hangin on the street corner.”

‘They’re ninjas. I gotta believe they’d be fine.’ You shut your eyes, stealing yourself.

“How you got Bradford is be—hey!”

You slammed your torso against him, eyes squeezed shut.

“What are you, fucking suicidal?” He yelled, trying to push you off.

You pull away, slamming one foot against his cheek and stuck the other into the wheel. You hear honking as you desperately bang your foot into what you pray is his body. You feel the car speed up as he screams obscenities at you. You force the wheel away from you as hard as you can.

The next few moments are a blizzard of broken glass, voices, and blackness as the metal deathtrap tries to shake the life out of both of you.

You figure that you must have passed out a second, for the next thing you remember is the smell of gasoline.

Your eyes snap open. You look over at the man stuck half out the window. You reach back, trembling hands fumbling with the buckle strapping yourself in. You slam yourself against the front window as you hear it click open. You use your arms to pull yourself through the hole, the rope slicing against a stray piece of broken glass.

Your head is spinning. The only thought currently on your mind is to get away from the car.

For some reason, you find yourself unable to stand. You, instead, crawl, dragging your body desperately away from the wreckage. You do not feel yourself doing it, ignoring the glass shards sticking themselves into your palms and under your nails, the way they slashed into your stomach and sides as you drag yourself over them completely irrelevant as you claw towards the sidewalk.

You hear the explosion.

You pull yourself into an alley, waiting for the ringing in your ears to stop as you hear the conflict happening a few blocks down. You swallow your vomit as you stare forward blankly, the smell of smoke filling your nostrils.

Another.

You fall forward, tears filling your eyes as the pain settles in. You do not know what happened to your legs, only knowing for sure that they could not and would not support your weight. Every muscle and every tendon is vibrating. Your hair sticks to your body as your clothes soak in some sort of warm liquid.

You do not like that smell.

‘Why is everything spinning?’

You hear yelling, the screeching of wheels against asphalt.

‘I’m going to die.’

The sentence repeats in your head over and over again as you lay there in the alleyway.

‘I’m going to die here.’

You do not know why you are shaking right now.

‘I don’t want to die here. Not now.’

“Help,” you beg. “Please, God.” You feel a sob rise in your throat. “I don’t… wanna…”

You hear screaming.

“Help,” you breathe.

You black out.

Table of Contents

Chapter 7

Chapter 9

[thestarsaroundyourscars]

Yoo if you’re still taking requests from the kissing prompts can I request “in the moonlight” and “a bet” with reddie please and thank youu!!

Thank you! This prompt is hella old but hopefully you’ll still enjoy it 

You can also read it on AO3 

“I can't believe I let you talk me into this.” Eddie muttered, letting Bev drag him through campus, towards the bonfire party. 

“It will be fun!” She promised with a grin. As they got closer, Eddie heard the shouts of drunk college students over the noise of crackling flames. 

He let out a sigh, that didn’t sound fun at all. “Just promise me you won't ditch me.” Eddie said. The last thing he wanted was to end up alone, in a party he didn’t even want to be in. “You're the only reason I'm here.”

Bev looked at him over her shoulder, one of her eyebrows raised. “Really? You're not secretly hoping that Richie will be there?” 

Eddie spluttered, cheeks flushing pink. “What? Why would I― I'm not―” Bev was snickering and he glared at her half heartedly. “Shut up.”

It wasn’t like she was right. He wasn’t hoping that Richie would be at this silly bonfire. Eddie was sure he would be there. Unlike him, Richie never missed a party. But Eddie was, in fact, hoping to see him tonight, to spend time with him. He thought he had been subtle about it, but it seemed Bev was onto him. 

The bonfire came into view. People were drinking and dancing around a large, burning pile of wood. Eddie wrinkled his nose, who thought it was a good idea to have a bunch of drunk people near a fire?

“See? Fun!” Bev said with a delighted grin, she released Eddie's arm. “Alright, I'll get us some drinks.”

“I told you not to leave me!” He said, shaking his head.

But Bev was already walking away. “I'm not leaving you! I'll be right back!” She shouted over her shoulder before disappearing into the crowd. 

It was a lie. 

Eddie waited at the spot where she left him, shifting uneasily on his feet. But when she didn’t return he found an empty log and sat on it, glaring at the flames. 

He was considering going back to his dorm when someone sat down next to him. Eddie looked up to find Richie grinning at him, the sight made his heart skip a beat.

“Hey Eds, having fun?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Because being surrounded by drunken idiots is clearly my idea of fun.”

“Well, at least the bonfire is cool.” Richie said, bumping his shoulder against him.

He chuckled, looking at the flames and shrugging. “Yeah, I guess.” Then his nose scrunched up. “But I'm not looking forward to my clothes and my hair smelling like smoke for an entire week.”

Richie leaned forward in one fast movement, startling him. His first thought was that Richie was going to kiss him, which made no sense, but it still made his heart speed up. Instead, Richie pressed his nose to Eddie’s hair, taking a deep breath.

“Smells good to me. Soapy and clean, pure Eddie.”

Eddie's cheeks were burning, he pushed Richie away with a light shove. "Well, I haven’t been here for long."

“Is that why you don't have a drink yet?”

“Bev said she would get me one, then she disappeared.” 

Richie chuckled softly. “Yeah, I saw her talking to Ben and Mike. That's why I came looking for you. I figured you would be around here somewhere, glaring at people who actually know how to have fun.” He smirked at Eddie. “And I was right.”

Eddie huffed indignantly. “I know how to have fun. This―” he gestured vaguely around them, “―is just not it.”

“Alright.” Richie said, pausing to drink from his beer bottle while giving Eddie a considering look. “Tell me what would you be doing if Bev hadn’t dragged you here?”

Eddie bit the inside of his cheek. The truth was, that before Bev barged into his room and dragged him outside, he’d been looking for something to watch on his laptop, ready to spend his Saturday night under his covers, watching movies. Richie clearly expected something like that, if his smug expression was anything to go by. "I can be fun." Eddie said instead, making Richie laugh out loud. 

"Sure you can, Eds." He said, voice dripping with sarcasm. Eddie glared at him, and when Richie raised his bottle to drink more beer he reached over and snatched the bottle away. Without giving it much thought, he brought it to his lips and, ignoring Richie’s protests, he gulped the beer down. 

His face scrunched up at the taste, but he didn't stop drinking until the bottle was empty.  Richie was staring at him, wide eyed and with a slight flush on his cheeks. It made Eddie feel slightly flustered himself.

He cleared his throat and tried to make his expression smug. “See? I’m fun.”

“The life of the fucking party.” Richie agreed with a chuckle.

“Mmm, exactly.” He didn’t understand how he felt a bit tipsy after only half a bottle of beer. The last thing he needed was for Richie to also tease him for being a lightweight. “I'm the most fun person on campus.”

Richie gave him an uncharacteristically soft smile. “You're certainly the cutest.” 

The words made blood rise to Eddie’s face. Before he was forced to respond to that, they heard catcalls and whistles coming from a group near them. When they looked over, they saw two people kissing in the middle of a circle. Richie noticed the way Eddie’s nose scrunched up and said, “I think they're playing truth or dare. Wanna go over there Mr. ‘I'm the most fun person on campus’?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Richie, that game is just an excuse to make out with strangers.” 

“Duh. That's what makes it fun.”

“You know what's not fun?”

“You?” Richie supplied with a smirk.

“Mononucleosis.” Eddie finished, and Richie tossed his head back with a laugh. 

“I mean, you could always choose truth. You look like the kind of guy who picks truth every time.” He said with that same smug expression from before. It bugged Eddie, especially considering Richie was right. On the rare occasion Eddie had attended parties in high school and was roped into games of truth or dare, he always stuck with truth. It was safer. And boring, according to Richie. 

“You're wrong.” Eddie lied as best as he could. “I picked dare all the time, and I never backed down.”

“Is that so?” Richie said, eyes sparkling with interest. “So if I were to dare you to do something right now, you'd do it?”

Eddie hesitated. He wanted to prove Richie wrong, but he was nervous about what he would dare him to do. Sure that Eddie would back down, a smile slowly appeared on Richie’s face.

That smug smile was what ultimately made Eddie say, “Yeah. I'll do it.”

He regretted it when Richie’s smile turned devious. “Well then. I dare you to kiss someone.” He said, looking at him with a challenge in his eyes, like he was certain Eddie wouldn't do it, not after he just finished talking about mononucleosis and the risks of kissing strangers. 

Eddie’s lips flattened to a thin, stubborn line. “Anyone?”

"Yup." Richie shrugged. "Your choice Eds, just find someone at this bonfire and kiss them. Live a little."

Eddie looked around, his bottom lip caught between his teeth while he weighed his options. He could say no, Richie would tease him but he would never force Eddie to do anything he didn’t want to do. Kissing a stranger was out of the question, just thinking about it made him shudder. He guessed he could find Bev and give her a quick friendly kiss just to shut Richie up. Or―

Eddie looked at Richie. He was used to denying it, but Eddie knew he liked him. He liked his blue eyes, his ridiculous glasses, his messy curls. And he liked how he made Eddie laugh. How he could go from making a joke to talking him down from a panic attack in less than a second. He liked how he seemed to know Eddie better than anyone, even if they had only known each other for a year.

He wanted to kiss him. He could kiss him. And if Richie didn't kiss him back, he could just brush it off as part of the joke. No harm done. And if he did kiss him back, well― Eddie wouldn’t mind. 

“Backing down, Eds?” Richie asked, interrupting his thoughts. 

“No, just thinking.”

Richie opened his mouth, ready to make another teasing remark, but Eddie cut him off before he got the chance. He closed the space between the two and pressed their lips together. 

He heard Richie make a surprised noise and felt him go stiff as a board. Eddie started to panic when he didn’t kiss him back right away but before he could even think about moving away, Richie was grabbing his shoulders, and his lips were moving. Eddie didn't even care about the taste of beer shared between them, kissing Richie was better than he ever imagined. He placed his hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

It wasn't until they heard a few catcalls that may or may not have been directed at them that they pulled away, both of them a little flushed. The way Richie was grinning at him eased the last of Eddie's nerves.

“Still think I don't know how to have fun?” Eddie asked, voice slightly breathless. 

“A little.” Richie replied, and Eddie pushed at his chest but he was smiling. “You definitely know how to kiss, though.”

Eddie felt his stomach flip. “Oh. Thanks.” He mumbled shyly. 

“Can I ask why me?”

The question brought back Eddie's worries. Kissing Richie was one thing, blatantly admitting that he liked him was way more nerve wracking. 

He offered a noncommittal shrug. “You were the closest to me.” He said as nonchalantly as he could. 

But Richie's grin widened, like he didn't believe Eddie at all. “Oh really? So you would've just kissed any guy like that?”

“I might've.”

Richie rolled his eyes, he moved closer until their faces were only inches apart. “Right. See, here's the thing, Eds. I don't think you would've. I think you wanted to kiss me just as much as I've been wanting to kiss you.”

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat. “Wait, what?” When he had first realized he liked Richie he didn’t want to get his hopes up, knowing it would be worse if it turned out Richie only saw him as a friend so he never entertained the idea that he might like him back. 

“Let’s just say,” Richie began, his hand softly holding Eddie’s cheek. “If you had dared me to kiss anyone at this bonfire, I would’ve also picked you.” 

“Oh.” Eddie gasped, his heart hammering in his chest. Richie leaned in to kiss him again, without anyone daring him to do it. 

And just as their lips touched Eddie thought that maybe this time, just a little bit of hope would be alright.

Tag list: @daddyphantomtbh @yes-dillman-yes @richietoaster @beepbeeprichiellc @its-stranger-than-you-think @lemonaayyee @losers-gotta-stick-together @tinyarmedtrex @richiefuckfacetozier @sam-i-am2468 @stylesmelon  @s-s-georgie @reddie-for-anything @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @constantreaderfool @hammockrichie  @jesuschristsupruvestar @mirandonsky @reddie4diaster @alargedepresso @purplepoisonedgem @pan-ini @reddie-to-cry @reddieforlove @trashmouthnick @multi-fandom-wby @wheezyeds @nancynwheeler @reddieslashgeneralhorror @madi-personal @reddie-tozibrak @lover-mouth @atownofeggs @that-weird-girls-blog @appojoos @castielwinovak @a-gay-treee @twoidiotsinl0ve @fcngirltrxsh @spirited-marvel @typewrxter @rebecca-the-queen @juhavs @thegoshdiddlydangdoor @soooobr @purebloodqueen  @call-me-bread @britcorn @wickedlyweasley @derpyanimatesstuff @braverthanyathink @s-onora @reddie-stole-my-heart @hammockrichie @s-onora @reddie-stole-my-heart @typewrxter

[in-tua-deep]

🔥 Responsible Luther

(Other responsible Luther au posts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven)

After everything happens, after the Commission is destroyed and the apocalypse is permanently stopped, and they give their dad what for... they have to figure out how to live without the apocalypse hanging over their head.

And also, they figure out how to deal with the friends they made along the way.

Which means that Agnes comes over with a casserole and a smile and a dozen new pictures of birds, and Allison brings Claire and Patrick down since there’s now no chance of being caught in the kidnapping crossfire, and Luther thinks he’s going to need to invest in a bigger table heck

Which means that Claire is loudly making bird noises while pointing at the pictures Agnes brought over, while Agnes attempts to teach her the proper ones while Patrick balances little Claire on his lap with all the longsuffering patience of a father of a toddler. 

Klaus is loudly debating the merits of Clue vs. Monopoly with Diego while Vanya shuffles a deck of cards absently because she already knows that they’re going to end up playing poker or something

Luther and Allison are in the kitchen attempting to cook. Allison’s food skills tend to be geared towards the food tastes of a toddler, so she’s got mac ‘n cheese and dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets down pat but other things uhhhhh not so much. Luther has gotten progressively better, but he’s no Jamie Oliver

Which leaves Hazel to sit awkwardly at the table across from an unimpressed Five.

“I’m not calling you Uncle Hazel.” Five says dismissively, “No matter what Klaus calls you.”

“That seems fair.” Hazel is awkward as he shuffles uncomfortably on the second-hand chair that Luther picked up after Diego threw Klaus and broke one of them after a particularly lively debate. 

(Klaus seems to have decided that being adopted into the family is punishment enough for Hazel, for some reason. Then again, Five has seen the glint in Klaus’s eye when he gives Hazel a big hug. Klaus is less forgiving than people might think. He’s just very petty about it.)

“You tried to kidnap me.” Five crosses his arms, “Multiple times.”

Hazel clears his throat, “Uh. Yes. That is true. I... did that.”

Five tilts his head, calculatingly. “What do you think that’s worth?”

“W - Worth?” Hazel looks lost. It’s almost sweet, how he even now underestimates Five’s vicious streak. Even after seeing Five with explosives and covered in dust after crawling through the ceilings of the Commission like an unholy gremlin. 

Five shrugs, “If you’re going to be... part of the family or whatever, and I am fully prepared to call Agnes my aunt because let’s be real, I witnessed her slap Dad and that makes her family for life. She seems to like you a lot.”

That makes Hazel smile.

“Ew.” Five can only offer in response to that, “But back to my point. Agnes rules, and I think she’s decided that Mom is her new best friend, Claire is her new grandchild, and that Klaus needs fattening up. Which I guess makes you family, too.”

Hazel just nods, a tad hesitantly.

“We’ve had enough of shit family.” Five says firmly, “So if you’re going to be part of it then you have to commit. You have to be here.”

“Okay.” Hazel says, “I can do that.” He isn’t actually sure he can, but he’s determined to try since he’s head over heels for Agnes and Agnes seems like she’s decided to take the Hargreeves under her wing. 

“Right.” Five nods decisively. “I’m thinking Disney World.”

“Of course - wait.” Hazel pauses, clearly making a moment to process what just came out of Five’s mouth. “What?”

“You kidnapped me.” Five declares, loud enough that Hazel makes shushing noises, even though literally everyone in the house knows about his past. “And I get you helped everyone come get me of whatever, even though I totally had that handled, but you totally kidnapped me. And that’s definitely worth Disney World.”

“You. Want me to take you to Disney World.” Hazel sounds out slowly, as if tasting the words in his mouth before speaking them. As if that will make this conversation make some amount of sense. 

“Me and Claire. And Klaus.” Five clarifies, tapping on the table. “Maybe the others, too.”

“Why.” Hazel asks, just completely flabbergasted. 

Five shrugs. “Klaus wants to go, and I’ve never been. Klaus says that it’s an apology thing if a family member needs forgiving, they do some big nice gesture and then bygones are bygones.”

Hazel processes that. “I don’t think. I don’t think that’s exactly the uh, the healthiest perspective. On that.”

“So.” Five says pointedly.

“I can. Try?” Hazel offers helpfully, “I mean, I’d have to talk it over with uh, with Agnes.”

“Five Hargreeves.” A voice interrupts them, as Luther sweeps in, “Are you blackmailing Hazel?”

Five shrugs unapologetically, “More like blatantly guilting him.”

“That’s my boy!” Klaus hollers from the other room, and then yelps and if they concentrate everyone can hear Vanya scolding their brother. Something about ‘encouraging behavior’ and ‘their ridiculous family already has enough criminal tendencies’.

“In my defense,” Five points out, “He did kidnaps me. And Klaus. More than once.”

“In his defense, you kind of suck as a hostage.” Luther points accusingly at Five with a spatula, “You broke his arm in three places.”

“He was kidnapping me!” Five sputters.

“I did do that.” Hazel offers, looking very contrite. “I deserved that, really.”

“And he fed Mr. Pennycrumb half his vegetables last time he was here.” Five accuses, not appreciating Hazel’s assistance.

That makes Luther put his hands on his hips and stare at a red faced Hazel.

“It was green beans.” Hazel mutters, not quite willing to meet anyone’s eyes and so he addresses the table rather than anyone in the room.

“Is that why he smelled so bad?” Luther demands, looking between Hazel and Five absolutely aghast. 

“Worth a trip to Disney World?” Five grins cheekily. 

Luther just gives a long suffering sigh, “I’m going back to help Allison in the kitchen. This officially no longer involves me.”

Hazel gives Luther’s retreating back the most betrayed look for leaving him alone with Five, which is honestly fair. 

“So.” Five turns his full attention on Hazel, tapping his fingers together and looking like a tiny supervillain. Considering that Five’s literal job used to be fighting villains as part of a child superhero teams, this was likely on purpose. “About that literal guilt trip.”

Hazel just buries his face into his palms and groans.

[bbmyungho]

Try Again - Yoongi

member/group: yoongi (suga)/bts

genre: fluff, a tiny bit of angst (???) if you squint

a/n: i’m sorry, i know this isn’t good, but i swear i’m trying, and i want to try to start incorporating more long fics into my masterlist (if that’s okay with you guys 👉👈). Anyways, here’s an only slightly corny Yoongi fic

“Hey y/n!”

I smiled at the sight of my friend, Hoseok, peeking his head out from one of the studios and waving me over frantically. “Hey, Hobi, whatcha doing?” I asked, coming nearer to the door.

“Nothing much, just working on a track. Come and listen!!” He said excitedly, not even giving me a chance to respond before he pulled me into the studio and shut the door as quietly as possible. I tensed immediately at the sight of Yoongi sitting in the desk chair next to Namjoon’s, the two murmuring between themselves before turning to see me being pulled into the room.

“Hey y/n.” Namjoon smiled and offered up a slight wave upon my arrival, which I of course returned, almost relaxing with the register of my friend’s presence. And then there was Yoongi: it wasn’t that he was mean or anything, just cold. In my roughly year and a half of working at BigHit, I’d exchanged maybe four or five words with the guy, even though I spent the majority of my time in the various studios fine tuning the production equipment and making sure IT was in check. I tried to avoid working on any equipment in his studio at the same time that he was there, but he spent so much time there, it was damn near impossible anyways. The other members had taken pretty well to me as they saw more and more of me, and they’d try to reassure me that it wasn’t anything personal, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe he just didn’t like me for whatever reason.

“Come sit! Give us your thoughts!” Hobi invited, taking his seat next to Joon and pulling up a chair for me. In between him and Yoongi. Great.

I took my seat and Joon pressed play on the track, him and Yoongi simultaneously falling back into their seats and shutting their eyes as they listened while Hoseok propped his head on his hand and stared at the track’s progression intently. I tried to mirror Yoongi and Joon, leaning back in my chair and concentrating fully on the music, allowing my mind to float on the member’s voices mingling while the bass washed over me warmly, leaving goosebumps up and down my arms and legs simultaneously. Even when the track finished, I had to sit and ponder it for a moment, let it stream through my head for a while. I wanted to hear it again as soon as it ended.

“Y/n? What’d you think?” I was snapped out of my euphoria following the track by Namjoon’s voice, opening my eyes to see the three men I’d been sitting with looking at me intently.

“Oh, um, good. It was good, I mean. Very good.” I offered a smile to Joon, allowing my gaze to drift over to Yoongi, but he’d already swiveled around in his chair to fiddle more with the track. “Uhh, I should probably be going now. I’m still on the clock, but thanks for letting me listen.” I said, standing from my chair and leaving amongst murmured farewells from Hoseok and Joon.

~

Come on, y/n, you’re an adult, he’s an adult. He won’t bite. I took in a deep breath, trying to draw up the courage to knock on the door to studio seven, the one that Yoongi frequented the most. He might make you slightly uncomfortable and act like he doesn’t even want you to be there because he definitely doesn’t, but he won’t bite.

I finally summoned up the courage to knock, once, twice, with no response. All of that for nothing. I took a quick peek inside to confirm that no one was home, letting out a breath I hadn’t been aware I was holding before making my way into the studio to work on the mic I had come for. It wasn’t registering properly on the monitors, so of course I had to be the one that fixed it; I swore, at this point, Yoongi was specifically asking for me to be the one to come fix his equipment because he knew he made me uncomfortable.

I made quick work of the offending mic, humming as I went, a smile gracing my features when I saw that the audio from my humming was registering on the monitor I’d turned to face me as I worked.

“Y/n, you have such a nice voice!!” I almost shat myself when Tae came on the mic, turning to see his smiling face through the window, Yoongi suppressing a laugh in the background at my mortified state.

“Jesus, Tae, thank you, but would it kill you to give me a little warning next time!!” I scolded, earning a pout from the boy as I walked out of the booth. “I, uh, fixed the mic for you, and I checked on the others, too. All of them should be fine now.” I said, just about unable to meet Yoongi’s eyes.

“Thanks, y/nie!!” Tae said, wrapping his arms around me from behind while I left my eyes trained on Yoongi.

“Yeah, thanks.” Yoongi muttered, just barely, but he was meeting my eyes and everything, and for some reason my heart skipped a beat when he did. All I could do was nod in response, not missing the small smirk that quirked up the side of his mouth. After an honestly uncomfortable amount of time just looking at Yoongi, Tae let me go and I shuffled out of the studio; I swore I could feel Yoongi’s stare on my back, but I chose not to put too much thought into it as I shut the door and scurried down the hall.

~

“Hey y/n, over here!” Namjoon called to me, the rest of the members choosing to simply scream in order to draw attention to themselves as I approached. 

“Hey guys!” I waved and smiled, Jungkook and Hobi immediately starting to pull me in their respective directions as soon as I got close enough for them to reach. I looked over, seeing Yoongi very blatantly rolling his eyes, a pit settling in my stomach as Jungkook finally won and pulled me to sit between him and Jimin. 

Lunch consisted of banter and excited chatter about the new songs they were working on, the usual, but something about Yoongi seemed...off. Like, more off than usual. Usually he just wouldn’t talk much, but now, he was being actively passive aggressive at best. Rolling his eyes, not even talking to the other members. They seemed to get touchier and louder in my ears, more than likely to make up for how Yoongi was behaving, but all I could hear was what Yoongi wasn’t saying. 

We’ve known each other for years and he’s at least tried to be civil until now, out at lunch, with everyone? My blood suddenly began boiling; I’d dealt with this same childish behavior for the past two years of my life, constantly stressing over every little thing I did around Yoongi, and now he was just giving up on at least trying to pretend like he could stand me. We were at lunch with some of the best friends I’d made in my adult life, and he was sitting there rolling his eyes and acting like I was such a bother for what. 

I’m not entirely sure what made everything come to a head right then, but I was just getting tired and I was trying to have a nice time, and I had to admit, even if he was a little bit of an asshole sometimes, I liked him and I wanted to be his friend; it just would’ve been nice if he could’ve tried to put the same energy towards me that I did him.

I stood up abruptly, causing the table’s eyes to shift to me, but I just grabbed my trash and went to throw it away. I felt bad for not offering to take anyone else’s while I was up or even just offering a laugh at whatever joke Hobi had just told, but I felt the need to just get out in the moment and I was honestly afraid I’d yell ‘why do you hate me so much?!’ right in Yoongi’s face if I didn’t leave right then. 

I wanted so badly to just run back to the studio and fix something. I wanted to repeatedly stab a screwdriver into a computer until it could just grow arms and program itself whenever it needed fixing. But I was stopped at the trash can by none other than the man of the hour, Yoongi. And he had the audacity to just reach around me like I wasn’t even there. 

“Why do you hate me so much?!” I demanded, a shocked look forming instantly on his face at my sudden courage. “Why are you rolling your eyes and acting like you couldn’t care less every time one of us so much as breathes? Must you be that childish? I’m trying to enjoy time with my friends, our friends, and you act like you wish I wasn’t there and it’s so blatantly obvious. What’d I ever do, Yoongi? Tell me!” I was shaking I was so angry, pressure building behind my eyes as tears threatened to spill. All he could do was stare at me with his jaw dropped, eyes widened. I turned to go back to the company’s main campus, leaving my bag for one of the other members to return to me later, but Yoongi grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, my head landing on something that I would register as his chest as he pulled me into a tight hug, one of the most comforting I’d ever been in.

“I don’t hate you, y/n. I’m sorry, I could never.” He said. I could feel now he was shaking too. “I’ve never hated you, I swear.” He pulled away.

“Then why are you such an asshole?” I whined. “Sometimes. Sometimes, I mean.” I added hurriedly, his jaw dropping again as he looked at me. 

“I...” He sighed. “The truth is... I like you. A lot. I’ve always thought you were cute, so I always requested you come to my studio, but I didn’t know how to talk to you. I figured if we spent enough time around each other, or around the other members at least, we’d eventually start talking, but I never got around to it, and I figured you just didn’t want me talking to you.” He said sheepishly, rubbing his neck as he shifted his weight between his feet.

“You... you what?” I asked. He chuckled quietly, eyes meeting mine again. 

“I like you. And I never got around to saying anything about it. I knew I intimidated you so I kinda just left it. Tried to give you your own space, y’know?” He said. “I kinda thought it was cute, actually, how shy you got whenever you noticed I was there, too. But, I never thought I was actually making you angry or anything.” 

“I-” I stood there, mouth agape, opening and closing it like a fish, unable to comprehend all of the information that had just been thrown at me. “I, yeah, I uh- I didn’t know it was making me angry, either.” I laughed bitterly, staring at him in shock. “I guess it was just something about today. You were actually expressing distaste for me-”

“Not for you, the members.” He laughed. I stared at him, silently urging him to continue. “They, uh, they’ve been teasing me because you’re, like, afraid of me and I guess they were trying to make me jealous or whatever. I mean, I guess I am kinda out of the game at this point.” He said, with only the slightest tinge of bitterness to it. That’s why they were being extra touchy today.

“Well, you’re not completely out of the game.” I said just barely above a whisper, almost causing Yoongi to choke on his own spit. “I was just pissed because of your attitude specifically today, but I do want to be your friend at least. Maybe more, not gonna lie.” I bobbed up and down on my feet, taking in Yoongi’s reaction as he processed my words.

“Well,” he cleared his throat, “if I’m not out of the game, could I maybe, take you out to dinner sometime? Without the others stealing all of your attention?” He bargained. I smiled.

“Of course.”

[nctflirts]

future; mark lee

in which, mark lee is your boyfriend. that’s it. that’s the description.  

anonymous said: helllooo~ if it’s okay, could i request like a cute little pillow talk scenario with Mark? just like talking about like your future together and like kids and stuff? thanks babes! genre: pure sickening boyfriend fluff ( gender neutral reader) warnings: u know da drill i dont proofread my shit. word count: 1.2k

3:43am

you’d lost track of how long you’d been staring at mark, your sleeping counterpart; it had become a hobby you were exceedingly good at.  your foreheads were inches away as you lay in bed with your boyfriend, and every time you scan his face in the moonlight you find another reason to love him. the little moles on his neck. his lack of makeup, allowing you to study the blemishes on his cheeks. his faded pink lips parted slightly as his slumber sighs begin to threaten small snores. you couldn’t seem to sleep, your mind racing with thoughts of him and his touch and his laugh. 

you can’t help but to run your thumb across his cheekbone, the skin you feel warm and soft to the touch. to keep your hands off of him, to keep your eyes off of him would be impossible in this moment. this was the boy the stars danced for, you determine. enraptured isn’t the word. you lean forward and place your lips to his forehead. he’s hot. not in that way. well, yes, but no. his body radiates a heat, but you have a suspicion his hands are cold.

you’re lost in your own thoughts and images of the angels crafting this boy to be put on earth, here, with you. it’s not until you notice his breathing has quieted that you resolve to try and sleep. the sun will start rising in a moment; you’re not built for a lack of sleep, you’ve never been the type to thrive while tired, like mark. 

“it’s late. shouldn’t you be asleep?” mark’s voice is coated with sleep. his eyes are still closed, and he hasn’t moved an inch, you’re not even sure if he’s fully conscious. you offer a half smile.

“technically it’s just really early.” 

his bambi eyes flicker open, a twinkle in them as he peers at you. his hand reaches for yours, and he interlocks your fingers. his hand is warm. “why don’t you sleep?”

“i’d rather look at you.” you say blatantly. his lips curl into an embarrassed smile, he rolls his eyes. 

“that’s cheesy.”

“it’s true.” you shrug. he’s not one for cheesy lines, his best attempts being phrases he’d heard from johnny, which, to be honest, were never good. you tend to outperform him in both flirting and PDA. which is fine. his little love nudges, hand squeezes and laughs content you just enough.  a comfortable silence fills the room, the air warm like a good hug. you suspect he’s fallen back asleep, but he proves you wrong when he hums. 

    “hey.”

“hi, mark lee.” 

“if one day we were.... like.. if one day we were married. would you- would that be okay?”

another silence, most likely less comfortable on his side.  to say you hadn’t thought of marriage with him would be a lie; god, you only ever thought of marriage with him. 

“if this is your proposal i definitely have some complaints.” you laugh. 

he laughs as well, but you can hear the unrest in his voice. “no, it’s not, i swear. i just. i like it when we’re like this.”

“i like it, too.” you nod, unsure of where he’s going with this rant. 

“i mean. when you’re here...  i don’t have to worry about anything when you’re here. it’s like, nice.” 

you stifle a chuckle and his rambling. “well, i’m glad you don’t worry.” 

he shakes his head, hair falling in the way of his eyes. “no, you don’t get it. i never not worry. i’m built for worrying about things. i always do it. but when i see you, it’s like... i don’t? like when i see you, and you hug me, time .. just...  stops and...  i just think about you?” 

you smile softly, his shifting gaze illuminated the light pouring through your window. your heart soared at his words, and you squeeze his hand. 

“i love you so much.” 

“i missed being with you. like this.” he sighs, inching forward so your foreheads grazed each other’s. 

“to answer your question, i think it would be okay if one day we were married.”

he laughs. it’s your favorite sound ever, you decide. his thumb is caressing the back of your hand. is it possible to love too much?

“i want kids.” he blurts. you can’t help the snort that escapes you. that’s mark, either he says nothing or he says it all. 

“right now? is it not a bit early in the morning for that?” 

you can practically hear him blushing, his ears red instantly as he stutters a protest. “no, no, no- noooo, that’s not what i meant. i meant. babies. with you. later on. a lot later on.” 

you nod. “i want kids too. maybe 5?”

“god, 5 is a lot, don’t you think? all we have is my tiny ass apartment and your even tinier flat?”

“well i don’t think we plan on living in our broke young adult homes forever, do we?”

“oh, yeah.” he thinks, staring at the wall behind you for a moment. “we’ll have a big penthouse.” 

“a penthouse? for a family?” you scoff.

“you’ve obviously never seen jessie.”

“i haven’t. i’m a nickelodeon fan for life.” 

“you’re sick, you know that?” 

“you love me.” 

“more than anything in the world.” he nods. “but still. five?”

you laugh. “hey, you’re the one who brought up children.” 

“yes, but five of them is overkill. one is lazy. two is mediocre. three is a good number. four is pushing it. five? at that point you’re being an overachiever and absolutely nobody wins at that point.” 

you snort. “well, i guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” 

“we’re not having five children, ______ .” he says with resolve in his tone. 

you find the conversation hilarious, 5 children seems reasonable to you, far into the future, at least. five little mark lees? obviously a good idea.

“you’d be a good dad.” you coo, distracting him from the previous subject successfully. his eyes light up.

“you think so?”

you think for a moment, flashes of memories yet to be made. mark building blanket forts for his children, playing catch with them. you grin to yourself, heart swelling. “absolutely, babe.”

he practically coos, you can tell this was one of the things he’d worried about.

“you know. whenever i think about my future- i don’t think a lot about it? i have so much going on right now, i don’t think long term a lot? but i do know that...  whenever i think about my future, it always has you in it.” he shrugs. “so,, i don’t think there’s a timeline in which i’m not enchanted by you. i don’t want to do life without you, i don’t think i can do life without you, ____.” he whispers, as if the moon outside will hear.

you think tiredness makes him loopy, a subconscious guard being down and letting him spill out his soul universe to you. you lean forward and peck his lips momentarily. 

“you are mark lee, the most important thing in my life. you were when we met, you are right now, and you will be forever and ever.” your words are coming out slurred now as drowsiness threatens to take over. he notices and smiles, his hand makes its way to the side of your face, and he brushes his thumb against your cheek. “we need to sleep. you need to sleep, babe.”

you hum softly, your eyes fight against the imaginary weights pulling them down. you feel mark’s thumb still drawing circles on your cheeks, and you can’t help but to let your eyes flicker close.

“g’night.” you mumble. 

“it’s 4am, might as well say good morning.” he chuckles. 

“this is why we’re having 5 kids.” you manage, sticking your tongue out at him.

his laugh is the last thing you hear before drifting off to sleep, it lulls you off to sleep and you can still hear it while you dream.