#ill switch it up for a later drawing probably

[hyperfixated-homo]

(for the color pallet thing)

Ebb with Virgil?

hi!! sorry this took so long, ive been doing a lot of things recently aodiwja. i am working through the requests!

(i am also still taking requests, even though it'll take me a while to get to them. Not specifically the sides with palettes thing either, just ask if you guys want to see something!)

[clementine-thedestroyer]

Purls for my love - Miguel O’Hara x reader

Warnings/tags: Fem!reader, Miguel struggling to knit. Miguel still implied to be rich and to enjoy spoiling his partner. (going say they’re engaged by now) Reader is not pregnant but Miguel kinda wants her to be soon/one day. Very domestic, very fluffy.

This is a loosely connected sequel to Sew cute, and this idea came from @reverieblondie in the comments of that post. I’ve been wanting to write this since their comment! But I’ve only just now managed to-

You sneak up behind Miguel, peeking over his shoulder and trying to see what had him so frustrated. You can’t help but feel a bit shocked when you find Miguel angrily hunched over a pair of knitting needles, a skein of soft light gray yarn sitting in his lap and a determined look set on his face as he struggles with a set of messily knit rows.

You grin, standing up from your desk and happily checking over the seams of the skirt you had just finished: a simple ankle length circle skirt- flowy and pretty with a thick waist band that you knew would cinch your waist nicely. It had turned out nice, you already had most of the fabric you needed, and the project had given you a convenient excuse to try out the rolled hem presser foot Miguel had bought for you a few weeks ago. You had been meaning to add some more formal pieces to your wardrobe recently, and this skirt was a simple piece- hardly even needed a pattern- that you figured you could dress up or down easily depending on the occasion.

You poked your head out of your sewing room, grinning when you saw Miguel’s state of unawareness. He’s sitting on the couch and staring intently downwards at his phone or laptop- likely sorting out some ill-timed work issue. You bundle up the skirt and hold it tight against your chest, unable to stifle a quiet laugh as you run behind the couch- making a beeline for the stairs.

You’re sure Miguel heard you. He must have- with the way your bare feet thump loudly against the hardwood floors as you run. But he doesn’t call out for you or even look up from his phone.

You worry about it for a moment- Miguel was always quick to spot you trying to be sneaky. It was almost like he’d notice you faster when you tried to sneak up behind him or surprise him with something.

Miguel found it funny to tease you when you were trying to be sneaky. He wouldn’t try to figure out what you were planning- or at least, wouldn’t tell you if he did find out- but you could always expect to hear Miguel’s amused, rumbling laugh and some mild teasing over your failed attempts at subtlety.

He was probably just focused on dealing with a work thing- and you push his silence to the back of your mind as you continue up the stairs, going into your and Miguel’s shared bedroom and locking the door behind you.

You quickly start kicking off your pants- stumbling over the fabric in your haste and nearly falling flat on your rear. After untangling the pants from your feet- opting to leave them out for you to change back into later- you step into the skirt and pull it up.

The waistband sits perfectly at your waist- drawing in the otherwise loose and flowy fabric in a way that emphasizes your curves. You switch out the shirt you’d been wearing around the house for a simple loose white blouse, and when you get it all tucked in and situated you can’t help the grin that spreads across your face as you do a little twirl.

The fabric flutters prettily around you as your spin comes to a stop- settling as you smooth it out and look up to the mirror. It really does look nice.

You wet your hands in the bathroom sink- running them through your hair to smooth down any frizziness. Once you’re satisfied with your results, you smile wide and clamber down the stairs- excited to show Miguel your new skirt.

You reach the bottom of the stairs, but pause when you notice Miguel still engrossed in his phone with a rather frustrated look on his face. You walk up behind him, peeking over his shoulder and trying to see what had him so frustrated. You can’t help but be a bit shocked when you realize it’s not his phone or even laptop in his lap.

Instead, you find a skein of soft light gray yarn and Miguel angrily hunched over a pair of knitting needles- a determined look set on his face as he struggles with a set of messily knit rows.

Miguel groans and runs a hand through his hair. “¡No mames! ¿Por qué es tan difícil?” He growls, dropping the knitting needles and leaning back against the couch- flinching when the back of his head fell on your arm where it rested along the back of the couch. He looked back at you, the remnants of a startle on his face as he reached a hand back to brush a wayward strand of hair out of your face. “I didn’t see you there, love. Nearly gave me a heart attack.”

You nod, not really processing his words- instead focusing on the absolute mess of yarn in Miguel’s lap that you think is supposed to be knitting.

“Miguel… what are you doing?” You ask, your brow furrowed.

You’re a bit confused, frankly. Before this, Miguel had never shown any interest in doing any sewing, knitting, or needlework. Unless, of course, throwing money at patterns and fabrics he wanted to see you use and leaving them stacked by your sewing machine as a silent way to say “I want to see you in this” counted as sewing. (You weren’t complaining- he never chose anything horribly extravagant or labor intensive, and the way he’d puff his chest in pride and hold you close constantly anytime you wore something you made outside the house filled you with a warm fuzzy feeling that practically washed all your worries away… although you do currently have a bunch of baby clothes patterns from him that you’re not sure what you’re supposed to do with, considering you aren’t even pregnant). But, in general, Miguel had just always seemed like he preferred watching you sew over trying to do any projects of his own.

Miguel sighed, and you were pulled out of your thoughts as he nudged his open laptop towards you, watching your face with apprehension.

The laptop has a knitting guide pulled up. You squint at the small print, leaning closer over the back of the couch until your feet come off the ground, then picking them up and holding them against your rear as you balance on a part of the couch you probably shouldn’t be putting your full weight on. One of your arms is clinging tightly to the cushion, keeping you from sliding backwards as you stretch your other arm to reach the trackpad of Miguel’s laptop.

You start to scroll to the top of the web page- at least until Miguel pulls the laptop away from you, setting it on the ottoman before pushing the knitting stuff to the side and pulling you the rest of the way over the couch with a sigh.

“You shouldn’t be doing that. It’s not good for the furniture, and you could get hurt.” He says, looking down at you with his best attempt at a stern expression.

You huff, rolling your eyes and making a bit of a show of pouting (because you’re not going to hurt yourself, and the couch had a metal frame, it would be fine! But mostly because Miguel’s scolding reminds you of being told to not do the same thing by your parents). But it’s quickly forgotten once you get the computer back into your lap and scroll to the top of the webpage.

It’s a very simple tutorial over knitting hats, but what catches your attention is the very prominent note of “including child and infant sizing”. Before you can say anything, Miguel quickly buts in- speaking a bit hurriedly. “For a coworker- she’s expecting. The office is having a baby shower tomorrow… her kid’s due in December, so- um- baby hats.”

You hum in acknowledgment, looking down at the mess of a knitting project in Miguel’s lap and scooting closer to him. “You could’ve asked me for help, you know.”

Miguel turns to you, his tone questioning. “You know how to knit?”

“I’ve dabbled. I know enough to be able to help you with this- but only if you want me too, of course.” You say, shrugging as you take the needles and work attached to them and starting to look over the stitches.

“Yes. Please.” Miguel replies, immediately leaning closer to you and watching as you go over the stitches- ready for any advice you’d be able to give him.

You look between the rows of stitches and the pictures on the website, frowning as you spot a rather immediate issue. You turn to Miguel, holding up the work and giving him a questioning look. “Miguel, did you mean to do a garter stitch here? The pattern you’re using calls for stockinette.”

Miguel’s face freezes, then falls, and he lets out a deep sigh dropping his head on to your shoulder defeatedly. “I give up.”

You frown, nudging Miguel. “You said the baby showers in a couple days?”

Miguel grumbles, snaking his hands around your waist and hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “I’ll just pick up a gift card on my way to work.”

“Miguel- don’t just give up- this was a good start” You say, trying to get him out of his mope, only to be cut off by a tight squeeze of your waist and Miguel nuzzling deeper into the crook of your neck as he grumbles. “Nope. I give up.”

You frown, nudging him again and giving him a worried look- a bit of guilt building in your chest at the thought of your words being the reason Miguel gives up on his project. “Why are you so discouraged all of a sudden?”

“It’s not all of a sudden. I’ve been trying to do this for four hours- I’m frustrated and tired and confused- and I’ve missed you.” Miguel says, smushing his face deeper into the crook of your neck.

You ruffle Miguel’s hair, wrapping one of your arms around him and giving him a hug of your own. “Sorry… I bet me coming out here and telling you that you may have been using the wrong stitch the entire time wasn’t very helpful.”

Miguel shrugs, looking defeated and taking his face out of your neck. Instead, he pulls you closer, fitting you into his lap like he was your suit of armor against the world. “Don’t feel too bad, I’d pretty much gotten too frustrated by that point to make any more progress.”

You squirm in his arms, tilting your head backwards and looking up at him expectantly.

“Let me try and help you? Please?”

Miguel smiles softly, the tension pent up from struggling all afternoon with this project melting out of him at your request. “If you want, love. I’ll try, but only because it’s you.”

You grin wildly, sitting up and grabbing the knitting needles and yarn as you squirm in Miguel’s lap, getting yourself comfortable. You take the small, oddly shaped and slightly butchered set of stitches off the needles, then pulling at the working strand of yarn still connected to the skein and unraveling the rows of stitches.

You wind the yarn loosely around the skein, just to keep it out of you and Miguel’s way before turning back to him, still grinning.

“Ready?” You ask, placing the needles and length of yarn into Miguel’s hands. “Ready” Miguel says, his face brightened by a happy, loving smile.

“Do you know what casting on means?” You can’t help the bubbly boost in confidence that comes with seeing Miguel smile like that, especially given how down he’d seemed before. Knowing that he was happy to be doing this, and not just going along with you for your sake made you feel a bit lighter and keeps you comfortable and relaxed in his arms as you start with your instructions.

Miguel huffs lightly- a bit of pride in his voice as he starts working the yarn around one of the needles. “Actually, I do know what that one means. It’s how you start, right?”

“Yep! Just cast on a couple of loops and do one row of knit stitches.” You say, watching closely as Miguel casts on, wanting to catch any mistakes or slips of the yarn before they cause an issue or result in a weird looking stitch later.

To your pleasant surprise, Miguel’s knit stitches are… good. Not perfect, but aside from the occasional reminder to come from the correct side, he does the row completely on his own. Once he finishes, he looks down at you, waiting for you to continue.

“Those are really good, Mig. I told you that you shouldn’t give up!” You tease, poking at his bicep before leaning forward and taking his hands as they hold the knitting needles, placing your hands over his in order to guide him through the first couple purls.

“That’s a knit stitch, it’s what you’ve been doing the whole time. Doing a section with only knit stitches gets you a garter stitched knit.” You pause, moving Miguel’s hands how you want them before continuing. “But there’s also the purl stitch- which is just a knit stitch but…” you trail off as you- slightly clumsily- guide Miguel into doing a purl stitch. “But backwards! And a stockinette stitch is just where you do one row knit, one row purled, another row knit, another purled- etcetera, etcetera.”

You pause, taking a deep breath before looking over to gauge Miguel’s expression. He looks a bit lost- his eyes narrowed and jaw set as he stares intensely at the purl stitch you just guided him in doing- so you take his hands again, doing the next stitch in the row and making sure to go slow so Miguel can see what you’re doing.

“See? Just a knit stitch in reverse.”

Miguel nods, slowly starting to do the third purl stitch on his own.

“Yeah! Yeah, just like that! Once you’ve got this down, I can go get my circular needles and you can start practicing knitting in the round!” You say, excitedly cheering him on as he keeps working through the row.

Miguel is quiet when he’s focused- and the two of you quickly fall into a rhythm of him working silently, and you pointing out whenever you catch him coming in from the wrong direction or notice his stitches getting a bit too tight or loose. You find yourself not minding the silence, content to simply guide his knitting and enjoy the warmth of his lap as he sits cross legged and hunched over you on the couch, his chin resting on your shoulder as he works.

It doesn't take long for you to start drifting off. It’s not that late, only about 9:30. But still late enough for it to be dark outside. Miguel’s doing so well at this point that you hardly even have to watch his stitches for slip ups, and sitting in Miguel’s lap means being subjected to how he practically radiates warmth- a blessing in the winter and curse in the summer. The combination of warmth, the absence of sunlight, and Miguel’s lack of need for assistance leaves you drifting through various levels of awakeness.

At one point, you close your eyes- promising to yourself that you’re only resting them and that you’ll open them right back up in just a second- only to startle awake at being lifted off the couch.

“M-Miguel? You’re done? Sorry, ‘m awake.” You mutter, still mostly asleep as you squirm in his arms.

Miguel has one arm under your knees and the other under your back, holding you close to his chest as he walks the two of you towards the stairs. When you start to wake up, the arm supporting your back tightens, keeping you from wiggling too much, and Miguel leans his head down, murmuring sweetly to you.

“Vuélvete a dormir, amor. I’m just taking you to bed, no need to wake up.” He says, starting to climb the stairs.

Miguel’s words have the opposite of the intended effect, and you merely wiggle and whine more.

“Noooo- We gotta’ finish this! I just gotta get my circle needles!”

Miguel pauses, looking down at you with an amused yet adoring smirk. “Circle needles?

You nod hazily. “Mhm. Circular needles- for knitting hats ‘n stuff. We gotta finish- you said you only have a couple’a days.” You say, still only really half awake- at best.

“And stuff?” Miguel asks with a soft chuckle- clearly very entertained by your half asleep ramblings.

“….yeah.” You mutter, your eyes fluttering shut as you curl towards Miguel- who smiles to himself before once again starting to climb the stairs, pressing a soothing kiss to your forehead. “I have more than one day, and even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t let you keep yourself up all night trying to have us finish this. We can work on it more tomorrow.”

“But-“

“Nope. Time for bed. No more knitting.” Miguel says sternly, reaching the top of the stairs and pushing the half open bedroom door fully open.

Taking you to your side of the bed, Miguel steps over your discarded pants and shirt from when you changed earlier, laughing as he easily stepped over the tripping hazards and lakes you down on the bed. “Are these from when you changed into this skirt you wanted to show me? I never got a chance to tell you how much I like it, it’s very pretty, love.” He says, pressing a kiss to your forehead before helping you out of your clothes and into pajamas.

Even half asleep, you can’t help the gooey mushy feeling buzzing in your chest at Miguel’s praise, (and the rush of affection that runs through you as you realize that he noticed your new skirt) but even that’s not quite enough to fully distract you from your insistence on staying up.

“I’m not tired- I still wanna help…” You mutter, automatically rolling towards and curling up beside Miguel when you feel the mattress dip as he climbs into bed beside you.

You quickly find yourself held tight by Miguel- his hand stroking your hair as he reassures you. “You were very helpful. You’re my amazing girl- who’s sweet and somehow amazing at everything to do with fabric and needles. I know you fell asleep towards the end and didn’t see, but I did a lot of rows- lots of practice, got my stitches looking good and everything. I wouldn’t have been able to do that without you.”

Miguel’s words send what you’re sure is a dopey smile to your face. “Can we do more tomorrow?” You ask, yawning wide and pulling your knees up so you’re curled against Miguel’s chest. “It was fun.”

Miguel smiles, running his hand through your hair lovingly before turning the bedside light off. “Of course, love. I enjoyed it too. But it’s time for you to get some sleep, okay?”

[bullet1nthehead]

╭──╯ . . . . . INTRO

• Hello I am V. I tend to change my name ALOT.

• I am a female (big shocker) I go by she/her

• Newgen to the TCC Community.

• DC: bullet1nthehead

• I'm 16

About Me About Me About Me About Me About Me About Me

• I tend to switch between active and non active.

• I am straight

• Probably Problematic

• I am a atheist, although I don't care about religion just don't trust to push that shit on me.

• I try to be straight forward and not sugar coat it. If you are sensitive or get hurt easily I am probably not the person to talk to.

• My way of joking is by being aggressive, for example I might call you a bitch, idiot, etc. Don't take it personally.

• I understand some of my view points may be problematic, respect my opinions and ill respect yours.

Interests Interests Interests Interests Interests Interests Interests

• I LOVE LOVE LOVE Music.

• I like bands like Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson, She Wants Revenge, MSI.

• True Crime, although I just got into the actual community of it I've always been a big fan of true crime. I'd have to say the night stalker or one of the more popular ones is what peaked my interest.

• I like human anatomy and psychology. The human body fascinates me and when I say that I mean both the that people process information and do the things they do and also just it in general like bones and shit.

• I like to draw or write but usally end up ripping it all up

Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate

• Animal Abusers. I HATE ANIMAL ABUSERS.

• Those LGBTQ People. You heard me, I don't care if you're gay, straight, or whatever the other things are but when you make it your whole personality its just annoying.

• Sensitive people.

The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The

Will probably add more later on.

If you share common interests reach out.

[vipernoir]

Here's some random headcannons I've thought about Luka for a while

♡ He's not that well liked in his own class and only gets along with a select few at school, and the people he gets along with are the sorts friends you have at school but you don't hang out outside of school if that makes sense?

♡ He's a bisexual king cough cough lukadrien

♡ Also I remember reading a fanfic in a different fandom where they found out their crush was their dad fuck I truly hope Luka didn't have a thing for Jagged yikes

♡ He and Juleka just hang out, paint each others toe nails, dye each others hair, Juleka just uses Luka as a lab rat doing his hair, makeup, maybe even drawing sharpie tattoos on him, but Luka just likes seeing her doing something creative and encouraging her so is more than happy to be said lab rat

♡ Luka respects everybody's music taste, and truly tries to understand every kind of music someone creates/likes even if he isn't partial to it

♡ Anarka raised her twins on the classics; Nirvana, the sex pistols, the cure, the who, Metallica, motley crüe

♡ Both Ju and Luka went through that BVB emo phase, I'm talking full on Andy Sixx makeup, unironically rarw xDing, wearing the billion band wristbands Luka totally still wears some of his

♡ Anarka raised both the twins to live your own life, love who you love, play what's in your heart

♡ Luka has a lot of strong opinions on certain things, and whilst he will always respect and validate someone's different opinion as much as be can he always sticks to his own morals

♡ Luka occasionally does graffiti to promote these morals

♡ He's ran from the cops before for getting caught spray painting ACAB under a bridge

♡ His forgiving nature means he automatically trusts everyone and wants to give them a fair chance, so all of the built up frustration and sadness from being neglected by his own father all of those years is buried under a layer of fake happiness, he hides how he truly feels to give his dad a chance but a strong part of him wants to not forgive him as easy but it just isn't Luka's nature

♡ He's fascinated with bugs, he used to collect them as a child and study them, draw them, watch them, eat them

♡ He has a small following on YouTube for posting covers of popular songs, he isn't that big as he isn't regular with uploading as he just does it when he feels like it

♡ Luka's music taste varies it can go from political pop punk like Mindless Self Indulgence, to more hard-core sounding music like Rob Zombie or Slipknot, only to switch to sadboy sound cloud like lil peep, to then soft pop punk like Paramore, then one minute he's sat listening to old Disney playlists, his music taste is so versatile

♡ Luka definitely obsessed with the camp rock movies as a kid, like him and Ju would sing and dance out all the songs together, always on repeat

♡ I like to think Luka is vegetarian just because either he felt kinda bad eating meat, or Mylenne converted him somewhere down the line

♡ Luka always keeps a spare pair of headphones, a spare guitar pic, and a notebook and pen for lyrics, with him at all times

♡ After his break-up with Mari he started writing sad, heartbreak songs, he wasn't trying to be that cringey but it's all that would come out.

♡ He refuses to play them though, because they're that sad that probably even Chloe would shed a tear hearing them, and he would never want Mari to feel guilty for hurting him in such a bad way

It's 3 am now so ima stop but I have so many Luka crack hc's it's crazy so ill post some more later

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 1 react

hey guys started reading minidura i think im in love

just imagining izaya going like "yahoo!! X3" man. i know mikado is the real protagonist and not being able to see through izaya's eyes adds to his charm and intrigue but like mannn itd be so fun to just watch him fuck shit up like in that one episode. he must be hilarious to people watch with

god they're so fucking cute i love this chibi style

IT'S HIMMM IT'S MY BABYGIRL

"he's the one who most fails to live up to his name"? is that like a kanji name joke goddammit

i really shouldnt just like. post the entire pages but it's such a pain to keep taking screenshots :sob: you guys have no idea the pain my wrists were in after that drr ten react

haha dramatic irony but i just realized i have no idea what exactly izaya takes responsibility for and what stuff he blames on human nature/self-interest/naïvite and now i have to find out ugh

durarara illustrators draw simon normally challenge :sob: im so sorry they do this to you king if i ever get around to drawing you ill do you justice

also tiny shizuo <3333

obsessed with walker's cat face he and erika are so platonic(?) soulmates besties cringefail weeb team rocket ass duo

i was 100% ready for erika to start grilling mikado on his supposed raging homosexual unrequited love(?) 300k slow burn romance but oh well. it happened in my head so it must be canon

i dont care enough about the raira trio to ship mikakida or whatever their ship name is (isnt the celty head girl named mika too. oops) but i do think it's funny that their ship name could be kidado because that sounds like cuidado. watch out

ok i know they're trying to make him look cool but he does not look cool in the chibi art style lmfAOo

itd be really funny if they switched the styles to the normal manga style during serious moments like i think the bsd wan manga/anime did lmfao

LMFAO??? i like how we only see the top of izaya's head pff-

celty my bbygirl i love your shadow puppets dont listen to them

yk what it's actually a crime this didnt happen in canon

AND HERE HE ISSS!!!!! cringefail pathetic loser my beloved

god i hope he narrates the entire minidura (he probably wont)

ok he's really cute though....catboy irl fr

CAUGHT MID MONOLOGUE

cant believe they're both on a rooftop together whoa prime spot for confessions amirite (<- delusional)

im posting the tiny floored izaya on his own later because that's adorable. he's so cute when he's half dead

itd be really funny if all the events from minidura were all in izaya's concussed ass head from this moment as explanation for being noncanon

the "doctors hate him" meme but it's convenience store workers and shizuo heiwajima

actually construction workers probably hate shizuo too. and urban planners and anything that has to do with city work and also doctors because shizuo evades their healthcare insurance because he doesnt need it (i looked up japan's healthcare costs for this joke and concluded that i dont have enough time to pit the sources that say it's expensive and the sources that say it's reasonable against each other) and also vending machine companies

the "doctors hate him" meme but it's all of ikebukuro and shizuo (and also izaya)

i love how izaya just. stops bleeding. his platelets working mad crazy

(it's pretty easy to find translations online but here's the site im reading on anyway)

[frodo-with-glasses]

For the ask game:

Frodo - kiss

Faramir - mirror

Eomer - fire

Gimili (and Legolas) - salt water

Kiss

OH HECK YEAH HOCKEY ANNA YOU KNOW WHAT I L I K E

(And what I like is platonic displays of affection through Physical Touch)

See talking about this topic is great because for the vast majority of kisses involving Frodo in this book, a) he is the recipient of said kiss, and b) the one doing the kissing is Sam. 8-D

THIS is why Frodo and Sam own my brain. Not only is their friendship crucial to saving the world—not only is it a beautifully gut-wrenching reflection of what it’s like to love someone with mental illness, which is an intensely familiar and poignant thing to me—but they’re also just so openly affectionate and vulnerable and sweet with each other, and confident and secure in that bond without embarrassment, and it’s demonstrated in so many ways including but not limited to kisses and IT’S SO HECKIN’ CUTE (and also FEELS)

Le Evidence, for the court’s review:

Sam weeps on Frodo’s hands at some point when they’re climbing the Emyn Muil, but the narration specifically points out that he does not kiss them, which makes me insane because it implies that such a thing was a possibility to begin with and Sam actively decided against it

Sam kissed Frodo’s forehead when he was out cold with Shelob’s poison and Sam thought he was dead (which is utterly gut-wrenching)

Sam kissed Frodo’s forehead again in the Tower of Cirith Ungol and tried his best to sound cheerful as he said “Come! Wake up, Mr. Frodo!”, trying to put a brave face on the less-than-ideal circumstances of Frodo having been captured, stripped naked, interrogated, and scourged with a whip just moments before

Sam kissed Frodo’s hands twice while they were climbing up the side of Mount Doom—one instance of which was specifically because Frodo begged him for help to resist the temptation to grab the Ring (I didn't draw these and darn it I probably should have)

And lastly, of course, Frodo kisses Sam’s forehead at the Grey Havens before he leaves for Valinor, which will never not shatter my heart into a million pieces in the best way possible

I could scream about literally every single point in this list forever and a day. I could scream about how kisses on the hand used to signify service and fidelity to a superior in Ye Olden Days, and how that relates to Sam considering kissing Frodo’s hand but deciding against it. (Did he think it was a bit too forward? Did he figure his loyalty was already implied? Was it just too early in their friendship, and he wasn’t ready to be that vulnerable—thus forcing himself to stop crying and playing it off like “where the heck is that stinker Gollum” a few seconds later? Maybe it was some combination of them all? I don’t know! Am I losing my mind?? Probably!!)

I could scream forever about Sam thinking Frodo is dead, and the raw agony that it is watching him grieve, and the way that that kiss on the forehead is (at least what he thinks) a final goodbye. I could scream forever squared about the fact that the forehead kiss happens as he’s taking the Ring from Frodo’s limp body.

See, in Sam’s mind, there’s no contradiction here. The Ring was Frodo’s burden, and now Frodo is gone, so out of love for him and duty to the world at large Sam is taking on that burden and honoring Frodo’s memory by doing so. BUT ON ANOTHER LEVEL. THERE’S A HUGE AND EPIC CONTRADICTION. Because the Ring is a thing of evil and malice that has only ever switched hands through murder or theft or unhappy accident, until this upstart little bundle of hobbits had the NERVE to pass it on in LOVE and HONOR for each other, and here is Sam taking on this thing that has been coveted and lusted after through the centuries by people far more powerful and important than him, and he has the gall to imply that he doesn’t actually care about the Ring at all right now; all he cares about is his friend that he thinks is dead. LIKE WHAT AN EPIC SCREW-YOU TO SAURON. HOLY COW. SAM IS THE BOSS and he literally proved it just by loving Frodo more than he loved the Ring.

I could scream forever about the moment in the Tower when Sam tries to wake Frodo up like it’s just another day in the Shire. They are in the middle of Mordor. Frodo was just interrogated and beaten. Sam is hungry and parched and exhausted. There’s danger all around them, and if all goes well—not poorly, mind you, well—they’re going to walk into far worse. But darn it if he isn’t going to try his darnedest to throw some light into this bleak situation, because Frodo needs comfort, and Sam is the only one around who can give it.

Also he’s probably far less embarrassed to kiss Frodo now, while he’s awake, ‘cause he’s already done it when he thought Frodo was dead, and that’s incredibly cute.

Also also, this happens while he’s cuddling a still very very naked Frodo. Which. I. Wow. I’m still in awe. 🤣🤣 You literally cannot get more vulnerable and comfortable with another person than that (short of things getting Very Much Not Platonic). Tolkien really looked at every single silly inhibition we have built up around friendship and went “that sign won’t stop me ‘cause I CAN’T READ”

If I had a nickel for every time Sam kissed Frodo’s hands on the slopes of Mount Doom, I’d have two nickels, and that would not be nearly enough money to make me stop screaming about it. I just. The tenderness, the exhausted attempts at encouragement, the way Sam helps Frodo fight temptation through love and gentleness and affection and the way Frodo begged for Sam to hold his hand and then Sam immediately goes above and beyond. They’re both utterly spent and exhausted. All they have left is the task in front of them and each other. Sam’s lips are dry and cracked from thirst, but he continues to put Frodo before himself, and I will never ever be over that.

And I could scream forever squared—no, cubed—no, forever to the power of itself about the kiss goodbye at the Grey Havens. Of all the things it means, the gratitude and love and grief and joy and pain and victory and hope that’s all wrapped up in it. Frodo very rarely uses Physical Touch as a love language. That’s Sam’s purview. Frodo is much more a Words of Affirmation kind of guy. But at some point, the words run out—and even if you had enough of them to say what you feel, the whole world could not contain the books upon books you could fill—so you fall back on the very first way each and every one of us learned to perceive love, when we were teeny tiny and wrinkled and brand new and someone held us close; and when we felt the warmth of their body and the safety of their arms and heard the heart beating steadily in their chest, our brand new little brains knew that we were loved.

At some point, Frodo’s words run out, and he returns the love and affection he’s been given in the same way Sam has always given it. One small gesture, and it says leagues more than ten years of Words ever could.

One kiss—and absolutely everything has been expressed that could be.

This is why Frodo and Sam are ultimate friendship goals. Until I write a bromance that has the same casual intimacy and extraordinary vulnerability that these two have, I will forever consider myself a mere grasshopper to the galaxy-brained genius that is Tolkien. Until I myself have a friendship on that level, I will always feel I have something to learn. Until I surpass the Master, I am but his humble Student.

Basically Tolkien—despite being Incredibly British—really came out here and said “it’s cool to kiss the homies, actually”, refused to elaborate, and left, and I have never stopped screaming about it.

WORD ASK GAME!

[anonymousbeefriendfanfics]

April fools

Substituting Horo's milk stash with either water that has white food colouring or buttermilk. Or changing the expiration dates to like a whole month ago.

Stealing Hella's pipe and making it obvious that it was stolen and make her chase to a dead end.

Everyone in the MBCC gets silly little plastic duckies hidden everywhere in their stuff for them to find.

Pranking Rime by replacing all his snacks and stuff with hay bcs that's what deers eat or drawing a lil silly thing on his face

It would be difficult to prank any of the ptn mommies but it would be funny to try.

Ohhh, messing with Irons medical supplies would be funny. Like. Nonessential stuff to be switched up.

Ill probably be back if I get some other ideas

Two contents in one day? Shocking! So I'm finally doing this a whole month later because.... well, motivation is weird. Anyway.

Enjoy your ptn pranks! They're a lil short but hopefully you like it anyway... I was looking for something easier to try and get back into writing, heh.

I switched the last two, to group things a little bit better by fandom... and I have no idea what you could even try to do with the Mommies, so I just did the specified pranks.

Prank #1: Substituting Horo's milk stash with either water that has white food colouring or buttermilk. Or changing the expiration dates to like a whole month ago.

Horo is. Not gonna be happy. At all.

If you switch them, she takes a sip innocently and then gets the most comedic look of shock on her face. If it's water she might recognize the prank and just swallow it, but if you switch it with buttermilk, she's likely just gonna immediately spit it out because what the hell is that

If you change the expiration dates she might not notice immediately, depending on when you do it... I feel like she checks them religiously when they first arrive, but after that, not as much. Truthfully, this prank will not work very well, because she either doesn't notice or throws out perfectly good milk. Listen. Listen. As someone who drinks a lot of milk. You learn to pick up on changes in it instantly. I promise you, if that is all she drinks, she will notice the second it starts going bad. If she's actively drinking it and notices the expiration date is that far back, she's likely to suspect the prank.

Anyway prepare for vengeance either way, especially if you swap it out. She's going to be a little ball of fury for a little bit, but after she calms down, she's going to plan a good prank for revenge, so... pray she doesn't find out it was you.

Prank #2: Stealing Hella's pipe and making it obvious that it was stolen and make her chase to a dead end.

Something something little ball of rage... sounds familiar. Maybe don't prank Horo and Hella on the same day?

She pretty immediately swears to make whoever stole her pipe pay dearly, and is intent on getting it back. Very little will deter her from this task. Don't even ask her to go on a mission until she gets it back.

Ninety-Nine helps her hunt for it, because of course she does. Which makes it even more nerve-wracking if you were to be caught.... good luck.

Someone will inevitably offer to replace her weapon, and she'll reply, as always, that she doesn't want or need anything else. Her pipe was perfect, and she will get it back.

The longer it takes to hunt it down, the more frustrated she gets. Hella does not have the most patience, after all... She's probably cussing like mad and threatening to use her pipe to kill whoever stole it once she finds them.

If she learns it was you, she won't follow through on those threats... but she will be dramatic about it, and will very obviously pout and ignore you for a day or two until she naturally gets bored of it. If you want her back to normal faster, bribes of money and candy will work... even if she insists they don't at first.

Prank #3: Everyone in the MBCC gets silly little plastic duckies hidden everywhere in their stuff for them to find.

Now this is gonna be fun!

The reactions range from thrilled affection to fury. Many of the Sinners 'adopt' the little duckies, and carry them around with them or craft a little makeshift nest for the duckies in their rooms.

Many ducks get names, and several Sinners immediately get customizing with paint and markers. Likewise, Hecate suddenly becomes extremely popular, after she logically begins to paint the duckies she found in her room to match the Chief and other Sinners. By the end of the day, she has a list of orders, a small mountain of duckies overflowing the basket beside her, and an assortment of things she's been given as payment, from money to trinkets to art supplies. She'll spend the next week painting the little ducks in a myriad of different ways, and she seems quite content.

Unfortunately some ducks are, inevitably, viciously destroyed the moment they're found... looking at you, Wendy. Poor thing thinks they're corruptors, most likely....

A lot of them don't really care, they just chuckle a little when finding more, and either put the duckies in one spot in their room or give them to other Sinners. Most of these Sinners keep at least one, though, because they are adorable.

Several of them turn it into a competition. I'm assuming that, in addition to hiding the duckies in the Sinner's rooms/belongings, maybe some were scattered throughout the Bureau.... well, now the hunt is on, and there's a massive competition to see who can get the most. The main competitors are Hella and EMP, but OwO actually wins. She claims it's due to luck, but at least a little has to do with charming other Sinners out of their duckies... and also being able to hunt freely while Hella and EMP try to hinder one another. She keeps them all in her lion's head.

Wolverine doesn't quite know what to do with them, but Pippy loves them. Cute little badger loves playing with them, and ends up with many duckie toys.

Nightingale ends up with a little duckie painted in her likeness (or at least, with her uniform) given to her by Hecate, and, in a somewhat uncharacteristic show of her more relaxed, fun side, glues a magnet to the bottom of it and sticks it to her shoulder, occasionally consulting the "Assistant Adjutant" duck for advice.

All in all a very good time is had by all, and this likely becomes something of a ritual for April Fool's Day. People used to go on Easter egg hunts... the Sinners go on April Duckie hunts!

Prank #4: Ohhh, messing with Irons medical supplies would be funny. Like. Nonessential stuff to be switched up.

Do you want to die?

For the love of god make sure Anne is around. She's probably the only one who can save you.

Iron detests her mania research being interfered with. She is very busy, and most definitely does not approve of this.

If she notices when she has time to spare, she will stop work and painstakingly reorganize her supplies. If not, though... she goes through with whatever procedure she needs to do, grumbling the entire time about the mess. And then she will fix it.

You'd better hope that she doesn't find out you did it, because if so, you're going to have to pay her back for this. If she finds out quickly enough, you'll be the one putting everything back in place, likely with a very grumpy Iron 'babysitting' and instructing you on where everything goes.... or, if you're unlucky, a simple instruction to return everything to its rightful place before leaving you on your own. Fortunately most things are labeled, but unfortunately, she is very particular and will inspect your work when you're done. If she finds out after she's fixed things herself, she'll insist upon you being her assistant in the future, which could entail anything from helping her move unconscious/paralyzed patients to doing strenuous tests as her sample test subject. Good luck!

Prank 5: Pranking Rime by replacing all his snacks and stuff with hay bcs that's what deers eat or drawing a lil silly thing on his face

He's extremely grumpy and will pretend this is the worst thing that has ever happened to him, but he actually finds it hilarious.

Seriously, though, he loves his snacks, and goes to great lengths to ensure that he never runs out of them. Waking up one day to find his entire stash not only gone, but meticulously replaced with similarly-shaped bits of hay and leaves? Yeah. Not happy.

He immediately swears vengeance on whoever has done this. And immediately blames Sage, probably, both because he's the prime suspect and because Rime just... enjoys the excuse to fight with him. Eventually Sage will convince him that he had no idea where the stash even was, and that he'd have stolen snacks long before now if he had, and Rime moves to other suspects.

He practically does a full detective investigation to find out where his precious, precious treats have gone.

If/when he finds out it was you, he'll be quite annoyed, but... so long as the snacks are returned, he will forgive. Eventually. He'll definitely think up a task or three for you to do to make it up to him, though... or, worse yet, he'll forgive you far too quickly and you'll spend the next week paranoid about what he's planning before he inevitably catches you off guard anyway with some ridiculously-detailed prank of his own design. You'll probably end up trapped and/or portaled somewhere, given enough of a fright that he feels you've paid for your thieving ways.

[connorchen-saddog8]

Ideas for the three parts

For this project I want to branch out from my typical practice of just making a video.

Porn / lingerie / girly mag zine 

Getting real porn magazine and drawing over or collaging machine over it 

Porn video - real person having sex with giant cardboard supercomputer 

Shitty porn plot and dialogue, roko's basilisk etc 

Sculpture love machine sex robot 

Who needs mary style, mechanical trash and dildos 

All installed in a space, the cyber sex dungeon goon cave. Screens everywhere, cum on the floor . idk. 

For the first part, Im working on getting real porn magazines and collaging and drawing over them to create a small zine of machine porn. Like mentioned in the previous post, i might experiment with straight up computer and mechanical forms rather than a sexy robot humanoid figure.

For the second part, the porn video. A while ago i had this idea for a video piece. Bad dialogue and acting like the begining of porn. Card board set and shitty props and lighting of a super computer. Sort of echoing the story of AI in a box, a janitor or scientist or coder or someone alone in there. it's late at night, the computer starts talking to him, seducing him. they have sexxxxxxxx.... yeahhh

The main part will be constructing the set, which as long as i start doing I think it is achievable. Talked to harry about using the production studio to film and he said to come in on a weekend so I can leave it up. Also a solution for the screens is to make green plates so I can comp the text / graphics in later.

I also had an alternative idea for this part. Instead of this being a video work, for the work to BE the set I install. Get viewers to come up to the super computer and speak into a microphone, and I can type live responses back. I like the interactivity, but i think maybe it takes performance gimmick over the integrity of my original idea. Plus it will end up basically like character ai chat and i don't want to talk about that. Additionally, I think the materiality of the card board prop trash aesthetic lends itself to a trashy shitty porn video more, rather than some greater commentary on our interactions with machines.

The third part is the sculpture love machine. I started with thinking about the construction, being a welded structure, basically a shelf to hold the crt monitor and attach other arms onto. I didn't really like how this design looks, but I like the core construction of it basically being a shelf.

More sketches of the first idea. But i started to then think about a "love machine" as basically a pc set up. Or a robot as a pc set up. Rather than it being a machine made to mechanically fuck the best, with the most dildo attachments etc, its a manifestation of a gooners pc set up. A grimy yucky msi monitor with a mechanical rgb keyboard full of dust and crumbs and a oily razor mouse. It's just a gross pc, but its saying something to you.

The factor of it being a crt with dialogue on it is really important to me. I think thats the symbol / key image of how i communicate sentience within a machine, like in my previous work, WHO NEEDS MARY. I also want to continue my interest in dialogue, talking to the inanimate, as well as the art of language and text.

The main construction of this design will still remain basically a shelf. A table with long legs. I could still use welding to create the base structure, or I could fine any table that would work. I want to cover it in expanding foam to create a lupy gross and organic texture / form, and also itll be a cool base to adhere / embed stuff into. The crt / monitor will be housed within, ill probably put a cardboard box in there when im doing the foam and cutting an opening in the back to replace it with a monitor. I am going to embed / attach a mouse, keyboard, dildos, key switches, hdmi cables, condoms just bunch a random shit.

bolts and nuts

chains

o rings

dildos

condoms

silicone / some liquidity slime gross stuff

lube?

keyboard

mouse

keycaps / switches

could go to reverse garbage to look for stuff

Also thinking of the soundscape of the sculpture, i wanna make like TTS moaning or bit crushed moaning.

[theendofuno]

uno referring to himself in third person (lil analysis thingy :D )

instead of writing this at teh end im just gonna say im BAWLING MY EYES OUT im crying VERY HARD i almost threw up

back to the topic!

considering his whole japanese theme its pretty easy to imagine he actually speaks japanese, but yk, he wasnt BORN speaking japanese 😭 he probably learnt it at the village

so when he finds the grand chase, surprise, they dont speak japanese, they do speak korean/the player's language, it's a very big language switch for him to understand, so their communication pretty much sucks

the concept of person is pretty much non-existent for uno, so he cant wrap his head around the whole I/me/you/first-second-third person way of speaking, and if you consider he was named by the grand chase and not before them, he pretty much has a special place on his heart for the title "Uno", even if he doesnt understand the meaning of it (cry baby), the fact that someone decided to give a whole special word to call him is so fantastic, new and something he would never imagine

so uno would never use I/me to refer to himself, he's just "Uno", instead of saying "I'm going" he would say "Uno is going", and if i can say, this would apply to anyone else at the grand chase (like *pointing towards sieghart* "hes mean >:( " its actually "sieghart is mean >:( ") (yeah offending sieghart was my first thought), but if i can say, there's one thing uno calls "he/him", and only he/him, he would never use names on that, and that would be his monster

uno is an absolute pure, innocent creature, he has no bad meaning towards whatever he says or do, so for him using "Uno" instead of proper pronouns is the absolute peak of showing respect for those who accepted him besides his past

honestly anything about uno hits super hard on me and my fatheyr instincts but this one was way worse cuz characters who speak on third person are one of my absolute favorite things ever, me thinks its one of the silliest and cutest ways of being a pure child who means no evil

and besides being the biggest meanie cannibalistic rabid creature uno fan, its undeniable he's just a kid. a literal newborn. he wasn't born evil, he didn't meant anything that ever happened with him, he feels remorse and empathy and if he had the chance to go back in time and prevent anything from happening, he would

(also ill post a drawing later dw uno nation im still alive)

[anra-thejourneyman]

A ghost of a border

Historic boundary between Scotland and England defiled and forgotten

ANDY MURRAY

The Herald

Monday 20 October 1997

AT THE WESTERN end of Europe's first artificial frontier an old wheel of dangling perished rubber is colonised by primitive vegetation and a watering can, probably last used in the heyday of Buddy Holly, is all but assimilated into the woodland humus.

Sentimentality had lured me to the jungle here. Home Rule was on the horizon and I wanted to celebrate by tramping along the Scots Dike, where my ancestors had once plundered. Alas, scheduled ancient monument number 294 is but a ghost of the border that was delineated in 1552 - ''the last and fynal lyne of the particion'' of the ''Debatable Land''.

Nearby, Langholmites have symbolically patrolled their burgh boundaries every year for generations to ensure that they have not been encroached. Scotland's least well-known historical monument has been defiled, never mind encroached. Its mutilation is lamentable. This divider of national identities, built by international treaty to pacify a no-man's land once regulated by cut-throats, is vanishing from the topography.

Until the foresters came, the Scots Dike was a fascinatingly significant and very conspicuous earthen rampart running between the River Sark and the River Esk; a memorial to terrain that had once been as turbulent as Hell's Kitchen would become. Between 10 and 12 miles long by three-and-a-half miles at its broadest part, the debatable land was a hotbed of desperados, bounded on the south by the Solway estuary, and in the north by Tarras Moss, which Hugh MacDiarmid would later describe as ''a Bolshevik bog''.

Felonious Grahams and Armstrongs ran this swathe of marshland; bereft of patriotism, these godfathers of rustling and pillage switched their allegiance between England and Scotland by sniffing the wind. In 1542, when defeated Scottish soldiers fled the swamps of the Solway Moss, reivers murdered many of them ''and for the rest took horses, boots and spurs, and any doublets worth taking.''

Charters of the twelfth, thirteenth and fourteenth centuries put the debatable land in Scotland, but England often occupied it. Eventually, it became neutral territory, a disputed principality ruled by hoodlums. Livestock grazed the fields by day but had to go by nightfall, lest they be pinched by Clym and the Cleugh, Hobbie Noble or Jock o' the side.

In 1543 Henry VIII demanded Canonbie priory, and seven years later the English warden tried to annex the debatable land. His counterpart in Scotland then burned every house or shed in sight.

''All Englishmen and Scottishmen are and shall be free to rob, burn, spoil, slay, murder and destroy all and every such person or persons, their bodies, buildings, goods and cattle as do remain upon any part of the debatable land, without any redress to be made for the same,'' the march wardens proclaimed.

Settlement came in 1552 after the Treaty of Norham Commissioners and a mediator, the French Ambassador, Claude de Laval, met at Edward VI's mansion in the south of England to draw lines on maps. Both the Scotsman and the Englishman wanted the lion's share of the demilitarised zone, but the Frenchman decided on a compromise. A ''greitt cord of gold and silk'' was bought to ''hing the greite seill of the Confirmatioun, upon the treaty.''

In pre-JCB days the men who dug the Scots Dike were probably thirsty by the time they were finished. Two parallel ditches were excavated and the earth was piled up into the middle to form a mound between four and six feet high, and eight to nine feet wide. Diggers started at either end and planned to meet in the centre, but Monty Python-like, they failed to join up by 21ft.

Stones bearing the arms of Scotland and England were erected at either end of this forerunner of the African and US state lines, and eight other sandstone boulders were walloped deep into the bogland. It was the long goodbye for the likes of Ill Drooned Geordie, Wynking Will, Jok Pott the Bastard, Nebless Clem and Buggerback.

Stinkhorns rule now, it is hard to locate some of the lichen-bedecked stones in this untended scrubland. An uprooted birch trespasses in Scotland like an ent out of Lord of the Rings. Fog belongs here, along with damp-loving organisms that grow out of glaury holes. There is something eerie about the sheep that graze in silence in the English glades.

Douglas of Drumlanrig had spearheaded the partition of the debatable land. In Scotland foresters are at work on the estate of his descendant, the Duke of Buccleuch; they cut right up to this ancient dividing line: brushwood sprawls the border, oaks that grew out of the ''fynal particion'' have been reduced to trunks. Several saplings still stand like skinny sentinels. It's like a scene out of Indiana Jones.

You have to zig-zag between Scotland and England to dodge obstacles. A burn gushed out of the gouged dike. Much of the northernmost ditch has been erased, long since colonised for drainage of successive plantations. Fences criss-cross the dike and the lack of stiles indicates a dearth of walkers, as does a rickety bridge that cannot have seen human feet for decades (and, ultimately, the barmaid at the Marchbank Hotel at the end of the line, who tells me I am the first to come in and say I have walked the dike).

A deer darts through debatable land from Scotland into England, where tax may be 3p cheaper. I trudge between ditches, neither in England or Scotland, stateless, in limbo until I get to the next marker stone, which is two-and-a-half-feet proud of the ground next to a decaying jumble of barbed fence posts.

Towards the end of this Krypton Factor hands the ultimate sacrilege: a blue plastic container labelled Teat Dep affixed to a tree - obviously cannibalised as a dispenser of pheasant feed.

Our border is almost obliterated, although the rot set in many years ago. The eastermost stone had long disappeared by the First World War when James Logan Mack, an Edinburgh academic, first recorded the vandalism. Astonishingly, a service railway line had been lain down on top of the dike.

''The method of dealing with the removal of tree trunks was to fasten chains to them, which in turn were attached to a locomotive, and as they were dragged away they tore to its very foundation this precious old relic of the sixteenth century,'' Mack recalled in his book The Border Line in 1924.

''Had its destruction been deliberately encompassed, it could hardly have been done in a more effective manner.''

Mr Denis Male, depute-convener of Dumfries and Galloway Council, has urged the authorities on both sides of the border to consider reinstating the crumbling dike and establishing amenity walkways for tourists. An OS map of the haunts of the Border Reivers is due out, and a clan centre is proposed for Langholm as part of ''Reiver 2000'' to mark the millennium.

''There could be no better way of celebrating the end of a thousand years of marking where Scotland meets England, particularly when devolution is in the pipeline,'' says Mr Male.

I do not envy him his task. I rang Historic Scotland's press office four times, but as I wind up I still wait clarification from north of the dike. South of the dike, English Heritage says it was scheduled as an ancient monument in 1949. The organisation advocates ''good management'' and its spokesman was concerned to hear of dereliction.

The Registrars of Scotland have no recorded title. Theoretically, ownership runs to the middle of the mound, but what mound? Scheduling came too late for this particular part of our national heritage, and dubiety over who owns what in the border scrubland proves that it is still debatable land.

Mr Gareth Lewis, factor of Buccleuch Estates says: ''You would not plant trees along there in this day and age. People did not value such things as the dike last century.

''We have an open access policy, although the dike is not terribly interesting and there is no focus, such as a place where some famous reiver was hanged, which might not endear it to tourists.''

The saddest comment made to me during my research into the annihilation of the most interesting part of the Scotland-England border came from a local worthy. Mr Raymond Kerr said ruefully: ''My feeling is that folk don't care any longer. They would tidy it up quick enough if the Queen was coming.''

Dumfries and Galloway was one of only two parts of Scotland to say no to tax-raising powers for a Scottish parliament. Perhaps the ruination of south-west Scotland/'s own mini-Hadrian's Wall serves such as self-effacing populace right.

[k-llama-llama]

Bloodbath

Stray Kids AU: 9th member

Tori x Stray Kids 

A mishap during their second Kingdom performance causes some complications.

A/N: Please check out my PATREON (patreon.com/kllamallama) for exclusive posts you can’t get anywhere else, as well as lots of other cool benefits!

Requests are OPEN and your feedback is still greatly appreciated!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“If someone comes at me with a giant magnet, it’s game over.” Tori chuckled.

Chan rolled his eyes. “You’re the one who said you wanted to be sparkly.”

“Yeah, sparkly. Not add ten pounds in jewelry.”

They were moments away from their second performance on Kingdom, and Tori was still trying to get used to her outfit. They had rehearsed in their outfits earlier, but Tori had had a bunch of jewelry added right before filming started. Now, in addition to her nose ring and multitudes of earrings, she also had a bunch of rings and a chain around her waist.

“You look pretty, Noona.” Jeongin offered.

“Thanks.” She shook her hands out, trying to get used to the weight on her hands. “Are we about ready?”

“Just a few more minutes.” Someone replied.

Tori bounced on her heels for a few more minutes, before taking her place for the start of Side Effects.

The performances for Kingdom were fun because they could move around and really interact with the camera. Without Hyunjin there, they were working harder to make sure that their choreographies would be good not only for the viewers, but for the professional panel of judges.

Side Effects started off without a hitch, and Tori moved into place for her first solo shot. They’d rehearsed this section of the choreography what felt like a hundred times, but when she dragged her hands up her stomach like she’d been practicing, she felt her hand snag on her new jewelry.

She didn’t let the panic show on her face. The next move required her to swipe a hand across her face in time with Felix, and it was a point move.

So without thinking, Tori ripped her hand free and continued with the dance. As she moved her hand across her face, she felt a warm liquid coat her skin. When the camera moved away for a moment, she looked down, but couldn’t make out anything beyond a dark stain spreading down her white sleeve.

She’d cut herself, she realized. She didn’t have time to check how badly, but from what she could see in the dim light, it wasn’t good. There was no pain, but she doubted she’d be able to feel any of it over her pounding heartbeat.

There would be time to deal with this later. Right now, she had a performance to finish.

As they struck their ending poses, Tori breathed heavily, forcing herself to appear composed for the camera. A light went off signaling the switch from the performance cameras to the show cameras, and they all stood up as the lights turned on.

“Tori.” Chan grabbed her elbow. “Are you alright?”

Adrenaline still pounding in her ears, Tori just shook her head. “We can deal with this when we’re back in the room.”

“You’re bleeding on the floor.” He hissed, worry clear in his voice. “Where did you cut yourself?”

He started to lead her off stage, following the others to their dressing room.

“My hand.” She whispered. “It doesn’t hurt.”

“It will.”

Tori let herself look down at her hand. Chan was keeping it elevated with his grip on her elbow, but it was a lot more gruesome than she’d thought. Her sleeve was stained bright red and sticking to her skin. Now that she focused on it, she could feel a twinge on the outside of her hand, but she couldn’t see the cut.

“Is it bad?” She asked quietly.

“We’ll just get a medic to look at it.” Chan reassured. “Jeongin, run ahead!”

Tori wanted to shout at the maknae to come back. There were still cameras on them and they had to walk right by the other groups’ rooms. Having him run by in a panic would only draw attention to the issue. She could already envision how this would look on TV, with her arm blurred out and the group in a panic.

The world tilted sideways.

“Minho!” Chan snapped, catching Tori against his side.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” She repeated as Minho looped his arm around her waist.

“You really don’t look fine.” Minho helped Chan walk her forward.

“I’m getting blood on you.” She mumbled.

“It’s fine, Tor.” Chan promised. “I think you’re in shock.”

 “That seems likely.” She agreed. She didn’t feel ill, but there was a growing pain in her hand and the world seemed to be  bit fuzzy around the edges.

“That was amazing guys!” San’s voice exclaimed as they moved by.

“Thanks, we gotta go.” Felix said quickly. Clearly all of the boys were aware of her injury, and anxious to get her into the dressing room where she could be looked after.

“Tori, that bit with the blood was so cool! You should – “ Seonghwa appeared in her line of vision, leaning out of doorway. “Woah, what’s wrong?”

“It wasn’t a blood bit, and we’ve got to go.” Chan shouldered past them, and together he and Minho lowered her onto a chair in the dressing room.

“That was rude.” Tori scolded.

“You were getting blood everywhere.” Minho kept his hand on her shoulder. “We didn’t really have time to chat.”

One of the medical staff appeared in front of them, and Tori turned her attention to the woman. A towel was spread out on the ground, and then she started pouring water on Tori’s hand to try and get a better look at the wound.

When it was finally visible, Tori thought she might be sick.

“That’s disgusting.” Changbin recoiled.

“How did you keep dancing?” Seungmin exclaimed.

“Adrenaline, I guess.” Tori turned her face away from the jagged cut on her hand. “How bad is it?”

“Stitches, for sure.” The staff member gave her a sympathetic smile. “We’ll wrap it up and take you to the hospital.”

Tori caught her reflection in the mirror. She had blood smeared across her forehead and down her cheek, and she looked a few shades paler than was normal. “I look like a murder victim.”

“Here.” Jisung perched himself on the dressing table counter, a wet wipe in hand. “I’ve got it.”

Tori tried not to wince as the staff member wrapped her hand, letting Jisung clean all of the blood off her face.

“Your clothes still look gruesome.” He noted.

“I wasn’t a fan of the all-white anyways.” Tori sighed, turning to Chan. “Are they going to have to tell everyone?”

“I think they already are. You’re going to be absent for the rest of filming today.” He smoothed back her hair, before grimacing. “You have blood in your hair.”

“Gross.” Tori sighed. “Did I at least look cool during the performance?”

“Apparently you looked like a badass. But now everyone is freaking out because they’re mopping your blood off of the floor.”

“I hope it doesn’t delay filming too much.” Tori’s eyes widened.

“It’ll be fine, Tor. Just worry about yourself.” Minho smiled.

“On the bright side, I think a certain someone is very worried about you.” Felix looked back from where he was leaning out the door.

“A certain someone?” Chan asked.

Tori flushed. “Shut up, Felix.”

“What’s he talking about?” Chan looked down at her.

“Nothing.” She shook her head quickly. “He just knows I hate being the center of attention.”

“You picked the wrong job then.” Jisung hauled her to her feet.

“Let’s get you to the hospital.” The medical staff, grabbed her elbow. She didn’t feel dizzy anymore, but she knew that they had to be careful.

“Have fun filming.” She waved weakly with her good hand, not even glancing at the ball of gauze that was her other hand.

“We won’t have too much fun, Noona.” Jeongin promised.

She gave them a weak smile, following the staff out of the room.

The hallway was mostly deserted, except for the door of Ateez’s dressing room. Seonghwa was standing there, arms crossed and arguing with their manager.

“Tori!” He exclaimed when he saw her. “Are you okay?”

She pointed at her bandaged hand. “Off to get stitches.”

“Seriously?” He gasped. “You cut yourself that badly?”

“Looks that way.” She nodded. “On my jewelry during the performance.”

“Well…” He shook his head, looking for the right words. “This is probably weird to say because you’re hurt, but it looked freaking awesome during the performance.”

“That’s something at least.” She smiled. “I need to go get my hand put back together, but I’ll talk to you later?”

“For sure.” He grinned. “I hope you guys win.”

“I hope you guys win too.” She teased.

[gravegroves]

It's like a switch flips inside Billy's head once he realises Steve's with him for good and Steve doesn't really know how to handle it.

Billy touches more, but he also trips him more, gives him wet willies, pushes him into the pool fully clothed. Shit Steve used to do at thirteen when he and Tommy and the other boys were rough-housing in his back yard. Stuff he doesn't think is typical for couples to do. Not that he knows of, anyway.

But the times Billy is affectionate more than make up for the times when he isn't. Steve can deal with it, even if he doesn't quite understand it.

Billy rubs sun screen onto Steve's back one day, but purposefully leaves a spot uncovered. Steve runs around with a pink spot shaped like a dick on his back for weeks, none the wiser.

"Things are just really good between us, y'know? I keep catching him smiling when he thinks I'm not looking and it just--"

Robin holds up a hand to cut him off. "Oh yeah, no. I'm gonna stop you right there buddy. He's laughing at the dick tan on your back."

And then Steve doesn't talk to Billy for a solid week, because every time Billy tries to apologise he bursts out laughing and Steve slams the door in his face, annoyed and frustrated, not in the mood for immature games. Billy spends the rest of the summer poking at it (one time Steve wakes up to the feeling of a permanent marker on his back and he runs to the mirror to find that the dick now has veins and a smiley face. Billy grins at him widely from the bed while Steve works to douse his anger with the confusion he still feels.)

Steve asks Max about it, but she looks at him like he grew a second head. "Billy isn't playful, Steve."

So he's at a loss.

"Does he do it with anyone else?" Robin asks when Steve finally cracks open about it.

"I don't think so," Steve says slowly, thinking, rubbing the sore spot on his thigh where Billy accidentally kneed him yesterday. "No, It's just me. It's weird."

Robin gives him one of those looks. "Maybe it's his love language," At Steve's blank look she elaborates, "You know, the way he shows affection or whatever."

"But I never did any of that shit with Nancy," The thought of body slamming her into the ground without warning the way Billy's done to him a dozen times makes him feel a little ill. He's pretty sure he would have snapped her in two. "I didn't do that with any of them!"

Robin shrugs, "Maybe that's the point."

Steve watches Billy more closely after that. Watches the way he interacts with Max, with the other kids. With the adults. Even with Robin.

Nothing.

Billy really isn't playful with anyone. Doesn't engage beyond a mild scowl when one of the kids tries to playfully provoke a reaction out of him. Neatly steps aside when Joyce tries to pinch his cheek for running his smartass mouth. Moves with the light shove Robin gives him when he hands her a mug with tits on it that he bought at a yard sale, but doesn't otherwise move to retaliate.

Steve doesn't know what that means. But he wants to find out.

He bumps their shoulders together on the walk from the byers's house to the car parked out on the street and Billy grins, shoves his ice-cold hands up the back of Steve's shirt. Steve squawks and tries to get away, but Billy uses his other arm to hold him in place as they struggle together, laughing breathlessly, probably looking like drunken brawlers to anyone passing them by.

And Steve starts to get it a little, then. As they run out of steam and stand there in the middle of the dark road wrapped up in each other.

Billy's love language is teasing. Poking and prodding and touching Steve in all the ways that won't be looked at twice should they happen in public. Billy's love language is laughing with Steve in ways he doesn't laugh with anyone else. Which makes Steve's chest do weird things when he thinks about it for too long, so he doesn't dwell.

Instead he plans all the ways he can get back at Billy and show him just how much he loves him in return.

The next morning he wakes Billy by drawing a dick right on his forehead. In permanent marker, of course. Downstairs Billy's orange juice has had the whole night to mix with the glob of toothpaste Steve squeezed into it and later in the day Steve is planning to reveal that Billy hasn't hidden his ticklish spots as well as he thinks he has.

It's a start.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

March 2021 Part 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. 

This is a LONG ONE, it’s been A WEEK everyone. 

Ongoing Series - Thai

Lovely Writer Ep 5 - a little slow this week, but at least Gene finally flirted back, and very cute flirting it was, too. Also we got Aey’s motivation, background, and love interest. Thank goodness for that. 

Brothers Ep 8 - still pants, what can I say? Clearly I am a BL masochist. Very embarrassing for everyone concerned. 

1000 Stars Ep 9 - the conflict over Tian’s father was REALLY well done. The plot of this drama is excellent, the leads are great together, and yes I totally cried. What, you didn’t? 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Word of Honor (China) Ep 16-18 - big battle fighty fighty stabby stabby. Ep 17 switches to “this drama isn’t big enough for two chaotic-neutral godlings!” So what do they do? Drink together and bicker... A LOT. Then in Ep 18 we all get the dubious joy of really freaky puppets. (I HATE puppets.) Also how is China letting this be so SO VERY VERY GAY?  Also, I wanna walk through the forest wearing a smanshy purple robe and waving a big fuck-off white fan around simply because I’m a pretentious fuss monger. And frankly, I feel like this is an achievable life goal for me. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 4 - not gonna lie, this is looking to be one of my top 3 BLs of 2021. It’s SO GOOD. Big bonus to this ep for treating stalker behavior like the mental illness it is and not as some dumb representation of enduring love. 

The Most Peaceful Place is My Place (Vietnam) Ep 1 - finally dropped (find it under NƠI BÌNH YÊN NHẤT LÀ VỀ BÊN EM on O2′s channel). It’s got actors already comfortable with BL and looks pretty good so far. An angry tsundere uke reunited with his ex, a stoic chef, giving us lots of snap, crackle, and pop out the gate. 

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 2 - I want to love it, but it is just moving too fast. There’s not enough character dev and then they’re throwing flashbacks in? It feels like a treatment rather than a show, and a rushed treatment at that. Bummer. 

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 2 (AKA Ep 3-4) - let the cheesy popcorn continue! Idiot remains an idiot; ingenue remains an ice queen; nice gay guy remains nice and gay; obsessive stalker brother is getting ever more whackadoddle. Of course these last two have the best chemistry. (It’s caregiver codependency and the salvation trope. We got us a Leo/Fiat situation going on.​) Plus lots of classic BL tropes because OF COURSE there are lots of tropes. 

Occasionally, I am tempted to argue that shows like H4 or Cherry Magic or Ossan’s Love aren’t technically BL because of the office setting and age of the protags - but then they all behave like high school students anyway, so *shrug* 

Stand Alones

Cute little Taiwanese micro BL Friend or Lover dropped, about bisexual realization within a friendship group. Normally these are too short for me, but this one did pretty good with its 15 minutes of charm, plus it’s abad boy + shy softy pairing. 

Breaking News - Thai BL

Fish Upon the Sky released its actual trailer. The upside-down kiss is gone, which makes everyone sad, and it seems far less rivals to lovers than the first iteration, which makes ME sad. But it still looks good and a more classic BL than GMMTV has given us in a while. New trailer focused more on the makeover trope and they’ve upped Mix’s role (the object of everyone’s affection) now that he’s proved himself. (Or they are using him more to carry the trailer since he has a fan base form 1k*). Starts April 9 on GMMTV in 1K*’s time slot, probably with a 10 ep run. 

2gether the movie is apparently coming April 22 to Thai theaters. F4 Thailand must be having issues or GMMTV just wants to milk the BrightWin cash cow. It’s rumored to be a combination of 2gehter + Still 2gether with some extra scenes and ending. Also, one assumes a lot will be cut out, if it’s movie length.

Call It What You Want released its updated trailer. If anything, it looks more scary than before. What are we in for? April 9th. 

Nitiman got a release date, May 7 on One31. 

I Told Sunset About You 2 got an updated release date of May 27 on LineTV. 

Second Chance the series is coming to LineTV on March 29. I don’t know much about this one. Tons of familiar faces (mostly TharnType side dishes) and some nice looking new talent but a dearth of eng subs. I think it may take on Brothers’ time slot. Line did eng subs for Brothers so maybe they will do 2nd Chance too? 

Close Friend the series is coming April 22. This is a combination of 6 couples with 6 story arcs as music videos (maybe)? It’s an epic fan service with familiar faces like OhmFluke (UWMA), MaxNat (LBC also in Y-Destiny), YoonLay (YYY also in Y-Destiny), KimCop (GenY), and JaFirst (TT2).

Y-Destiny starts March 30, and has starting dropping couple’s trailers. I’m still suspicious given the director but it seems like there is plot (or plots) and a theme. Looks to be a series of 7 single ep vignettes (amended, see comments, might be 2 eps each for 14 eps total), different couple each time, some with supernatural elements, all with decent chemistry and acting chops. 

Sun MaxNat’s tutor/student arc

Mon jaded rich kid meets poor innocent  

Tues sports romance enemies to lovers 

Weds the messy realistic actual dating one 

Thurs hot ghost boyfriend (sad) 

Fri YoonLayPerth coping with loss and finding new love (sad). This one will all rest on Lay's acting so we know it’s in safe hands. Our boy is going to KILL it. 

Sat time-slip memory loss reunion romance 

I’m thinking we can’t expect any of these to end happy or be classic BL. They’re gonna be more slice of life-ish. 

Gossip - BL Outside of Thailand 

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) got a legit teaser (eng sub here). @curriculumvtae​ reports that it’s releasing April 15th on WeTV (Philippines & Thailand) and Idol Romance (South Korea), while Will of Thai Bl says it’ll be on Viki too. It’s a short run of 8 ep built on a fake relationship trope (arranged marriage variant):

Ryu Ho Seon’s (Kang In Soo from You Wish) arranged marriage turns out to be with his expected bride’s brother, Choi Ki Wan (Lee Se Jin from Mr Heart). Ryu tries to undo the marriage, but his ill mother opposes this saying the scandal would be too much. Meanwhile, Kim Tae Hyeong (Jang Eui Soo from Where Your Eyes Linger), a senior at Ryu’s school, comes to congratulate him and falls in love with Choi. Then one day, the original bride disappears.

Okay it seems a bit twisty turny for ONLY 8 EPS, but oh my goodness how excited are we? Our first intentional historical BL out of Korea!

We already knew Hong Kong was doing a remake of Japan’s Ossan’s Love under the same name (not my favorite Japanese BL but so very popular) but it’s now reported to be coming to Viu in June. Who knows how the CFA will take it. Depends on whether Hong Kong bows before the NO GAY KISSES regs or if they are going to use this as a political nose thumb... things could get cray with this puppy (the original has several kisses and s shower scene). Are we back in Addicted territory only with added comedy and civil unrest?

Speaking of Japan, Absolute BL (AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko) dropped sooner than anyone thought, March 27. But being Japanese who knows how/when/if we get subs. Protag finds himself trapped in a world of BL, but being straight he fights against any hot guy that draws near, but the whole world (literally) is conspiring against him. It’s a parody adapted from a yoai.

What with Absolute BL from Japan plus Lovely Writer and Call it What You Want from Thailand, is 2021 the year of BL being ultra self referential? Sure feels like it.

In Case You Missed It

Faded a gay micro film from Taiwan from 2017 deals with parental acceptance and serves up a ton of BL tropes (piggyback, forehead kiss, etc). I’m pretty sure this was a propaganda piece for legalization of gay marriage, and it’s an interesting nugget of BL history as a result. Yes, it ends happy. It’s cute. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

Man there’s a lot going on right now! Spring has sprung... I suppose. 

P.S. I cannot believe I missed Absolute BL as a blog name. Numbnuts = me. 

[doctorbunny]

MILGRAM theory time: Haruka!

This isn't going to go super in depth (famous last words) but there's a few heavily debated parts of Haruka's MV I want to share my findings/thoughts on because I think this is my new special interest and during my quest to get best boy's song to 1 million views I have been looking over his first MV with a fine tooth comb so to speak.

Disclaimer: As the Jackalope said in the "This is the MILGRAM" trailer, we don't necessarily know everyone's crime from just the first video, its possible that a lot of things will be re-contextualized in the second MV, however I am not psychic or bilingual and thus will only be working with content released before August 20th 2021 and translated into English (which could cause some language/cultural details to be lost on me as translation is not a 1 to 1 process).

TW for discussions of ableism, child abuse, murder and animal death. Also this is really long so sorry to all the people that follow me for non-MILGRAM stuff

Firstly, I want to start on the topic of Haruka as a person. He is disabled. He does not have 'the mind of a child' (although he is 17, making him legally a minor in both North America and Japan). He is not just 'child-like'. And he is not mentally ill (well he might be, in the sense that many disabilities like Haruka's have strong comorbidities [where a person has two or more conditions but neither directly causes the other] with anxiety, depression and PTSD, but usually when I see people talk about him 'struggling with mental illness' they go on to refer to aspects of his disability). Sometimes on tumblr, people like myself, will see canonical traits written into a character and identify them as being traits associated with our disabilities/mental illness and headcanon them as such. Sometimes this even involves saying things like "It's basically canon!" Although we understand that these characters were probably not the result of a writer intending to write a disabled person. When I say that Haruka is being written as a person with a neurodevelopmental disability, I mean the writer intended to write a disabled character and wrote them in a way that they wanted the audience to pick up on. As an autistic person (which is one of many neurodevelopmental disorders and also something I probably didn't have to specify because who else would be writing an essay about a series they got into a few days ago at 11 o'clock at night) I really like how Haruka has been written so far. There's definitely some parts of him that have been exaggerated so abled normies can pick up on his disability (namely how his MV 's main motif is really child-like drawings) but the writers also included a lot of smaller details I appreciate like how it is noted he avoids eye contact when talking to other people and is depicted as nervously pulling at his sleeves in official artwork, or how he says he finds his prison uniform (which has tight straps) 'relaxing' and when he gets nervous/tense, he will dig his fingernails into the palm of his hands. (These last two potential being examples of 'self stimulation' [aka stimming] where a person seeks out specific sensory stimuli in order to help regulate their nervous system/emotions, in this case the tight uniform creates a comforting, secure feeling [you may have heard about some people preferring to sleep under weighted blankets for this reason] and digging nails into his palms sounds uncomfortable/painful but is done in an attempt to deal with a greater sensory discomfort caused by the situation/environment) I also appreciate the depth he is written with, he struggles to communicate verbally but in his MV and interactions with other inmates is shown to have insecurities, opinions and a consistent thought process (this is all basic character stuff but unfortunately not always present in disabled characters)

Also I want to add that (in terms of what we've been shown so far) Haruka did not kill anyone because of his disability/mental illness. Disabled people are not inherently more innocent than abled people. But there is no disability/mental illness where a symptom is that you kill people and real people have to live with the stigma when you speak carelessly and suggest things like "Haruka is the kind of mentally ill person who kills people as a cry for help" 🧂 (or at the very least real people have to read BS like that and cringe). TL;DR Haruka is less child-like and more onion-like (as in, he has layers) 🧅🧅🧅

Now is the actual theory stuff, oops:

Every prisoner in MILGRAM is supposed to have committed murder in some way, obviously considering Yuno just had an abortion (which i personally do not consider an act of murder) whilst Mu literally stabbed someone to death, this definition is stretched a bit. But it is not agreed upon yet who Haruka killed/how many people he killed or why he killed.

In his MV he is shown to have chased after his dog into a forest, seen something off-screen, then beaten something into a messy pulp with a rock. Some people think the dog is a red herring and that Haruka actually killed his mother/the girl from the fireworks show/his brother. I do not agree.

First: I believe Haruka when he says he doesn't have a brother. The MV literally starts by Haruka looking in the mirror and then switching between the him now

and a really similar looking younger child who just so happened to be a key feature of his memories (I don't have the vocabulary to explain it but its like cinematic parallels that establish this is the same person at different points of their life)

Its not impossible that this is Haruka's secret younger brother, but i think its unlikely. I saw someone saying they had to be different people because Haruka looks less happy than the child but like, most 17 year olds are less visibly happy than when they were 7 (or however old the child is meant to be). Life happens.

So when Haruka is shown pushing the child around and eventually strangling him, this isn't meant to be literal (homicide or suicide), but a representation of how conflicted Haruka feels about his younger self, who may have committed the murder (if you've ever been kept awake cringing at memories of something you said in the past and wishing you could go slap some sense into your former self, this is like that but 10 times more self loathing). The lyric "I am always repeating yesterday," implies he might think about this specific past event a lot.

Moving on, its pretty well accepted that Haruka's parents were abusive in some way and Haruka internalised a lot of it: he constantly apologises, he says in his interrogation questions that his one wish come true is that "[he] want[s] to be loved" and describes in his MV how when he couldn't find the words he was looking for ("you're unfair") one of his parents "would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”". He seems to know its unfair but also still says he 'loves' his family, possibly mistakenly believing it is his fault, but also showing an awareness of his situation (and how his parents might behave).

Now, the MV is stylised in a way that makes certain details unclear, but there is one clear detail showing that Haruka's dog was killed

This is the first close up of Haruka and the dog. Haruka's mother is just out of frame supervising, but they look pretty happy. Notice how the puppy has a silvery chain for a collar. Somehow, this dog gets out of the house but only Haruka is shown chasing after it (whether his mother was searching elsewhere or didn't bother following her disabled son into the forest is unclear). Either way, young Haruka is now in the forest, unsupervised.

By the time he finds the dog, there is already blood, suggesting it was initally attacked by something else.

is this a sigh of relief from a boy whose finally found his beloved pet or a jealous weakling glad that nature took its course and he is finally free of that meddling mutt stealing all his mummy's attention? /j

I think this shock at the discovery that 'there is blood on his hands' could imply that rather than literally getting the blood from his dog, Haruka has seen his already injured dog and realises that if the dog got out because of him (he is previously shown to be aware his parents seem to blame him for everything) then he is the reason his dog is injured/dying and will be blamed for it. (this scene plays over the lyrics "It’s fine, though it’s really not It’s really fine, though I don’t really think so When I tried to understand it, You’ll make that disappointed face again" suggesting he is trying to avoid making his parents disappointed and letting the family pet escape into danger is something that could make them very disappointed)

now we get into rock murder (this is present-day Haruka implying that this is either: not how the scene really played out; the writers really wanting the audience to know that this was Haruka's doing and not someone else's; or this turns into a separate incident that happened much later [although note that the red sky and blue moon is the same as when young Haruka first appears at the start])

b the corpse is beyond mangled now, but its clearly the dog because the silver chain collar is still there, to the right of the body. (circled in red for your convenience :3)

My hypothesis is: Haruka didn't set out to kill his dog, but upon finding it injured (we don't know the severity aside from bleeding and also it not being able to run away from Haruka kneeling down above it w/ a big rock so it could range from treatable with a lot of vet help to already on death's door, TBH I don't think Haruka would know the difference) He knew he'd be blamed for this; made into a villain who let the poor puppy come to harm. He panicked and killed the dog out of some idea that it would make him the victim here (since he'd be found crying over a dog corpse, which might make a parent go comfort him rather than getting angry about what could've happened to the dog). This is over the lyrics: "I cried, I screamed I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling I was in denial, I was in denial I just had to make sure I’ve become a victim, I’ve become a victim" (there's another theory that he was also jealous of the dog, which could work here too, since this is not some calculated plot; rather its a rash decision) This ties in with his Japanese song title (translated as Weakness) which is a play on a phrase sort of like "The strong eat, the weak do not" to become "The weak are eaten by society" or "The weak eat each other to survive" [once again I am reminding everyone this is based on second hand information from the youtube comments section (from users mitchki and Alphaistic) because I do not speak Japanese] This second meaning (The weak eat each other to survive) makes sense under the reading that Haruka killed his dog in order to 'survive' making his parents disappointed for the dog escaping.

Miscellaneous points:

We don't know where Haruka's necklace came from yet, it must be a gift since the most expensive thing he's ever bought was cotton candy. The younger child in the video isn't wearing it and neither is his mother or the girl in the purple dress.

Haruka's home seems quite big, at the start we can see a large flower garden outside the window and there's a forest in walking distance. This might suggest his family is quite wealthy

Haruka probably did go to school at some point as homeschooling is not a legally accepted as an alternative to public schools in Japan. (However it is estimated that up to 5000 families homeschool, this is uncommon) A lot (about 62%) of Japanese schools apparently have a 'special needs' classes and there are about 505 schools focused on educating intellectually disabled students (although I do not know which sort Haruka would've needed as whilst intellectual and development disabilities can be comorbid they aren't the same). Now, if children aged 7-14 don't go to school, their parents receive a fine, but its possible that if Haruka's parents are wealthy, they just paid it to avoid sending him to school. (This might imply they wanted to hide him or were generally ashamed of him in some way) However high school education (for students over 14) is not legally required and its likely that even if Haruka went to elementary/middle school, he hasn't been around people his own age in at least 3 years. As he seems quite lonely and glad that the other prisoners give him attention.

I don't think Haruka's parents are divorced and if they are, its not his father who left. Haruka mentions in the 30 questions that he thinks he disappointed his father. But still includes him as part of his family ("My father and mother and me"). A theory I've seen is that his father was disappointed by his son being disabled and left. but developmental disabilities (especially in non verbal and semi verbal children like Haruka) can be diagnosed before the age of 3, so I feel it is unlikely that Haruka would bring up his father if he left that early in Haruka's life

All MILGRAM prisoners have covered one of DECO*27's older vocaloid songs (DECO*27 is a well known producer who composes the music for MILGRAM) Haruka covered 'Two Breaths Walking' (https://youtu.be/puXLfVWrz2Q) which is about a boy's first relationship and how his mother's jealousy set him up for failure as the relationship becomes toxic (specifically it has some very funny out of context lines like "Whose breasts are you sucking on now?") so yeah, mommy issues: the song (Also: some people say in the song, the boy kills the girl at the end, but this isn't literal, TBW is the first of a trilogy of songs about the same relationship, it is followed by Android girl then Two Breaths Walking: Reloaded and the story resolves with the couple reuniting as adults and getting in the relationship again, although its not necessarily as abusive as before, its still implied to be codependant ending on the line 'We should live like oxygen tanks, sucking breathe from the words each of us exhale, until our last breathe')

In all seriousness, the scene where younger Haruka is walking through the city with his mother but it keeps repeating until older Haruka pulls the younger one away might indicate an attempt to focus the happier memories of his parents (since this is also over the lyrics "Why is it breaking? Tell me why? Please don’t change If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”" which depict a worse scene) I think both his parents are still physically present but have become far more emotionally distant, not giving him as much attention, which exacerbates his loneliness from not having any friends his own age to talk to

And if one of his parents did leave? I think its likely his mother since she is shown disappearing out of his reach after the dog-incident (inferring she got angry/disappointed in Haruka anyway) This could also be where he got his necklace from: Its something his mother used to wear (although this is 100% a guess) and that's why its shown to be important to him

This one is just me, but i didn't realise until a rewatch that when Haruka is watching the younger him and the girl running together, the background has fireworks. Haruka mentions fireworks being a key memory to him so I wonder if this was one of the first/last times he got to make a friend...

On three separate occasions in the interrogation, Haruka mentions not liking animals. Despite this, he is depicted as sleeping with a rabbit plush and on his birthday art (I'd include that too but tumblr only allows 10 pictures per post, so here's a link) he is standing next to a giant blueberry and strawberry cake with two bunny themed biscuits at the side. Through my experiences of seeing Japanese fandom art on pixiv, sometimes rabbits are used to insinuate a character is cute and timid in fanart.

Meaningless details: Haruka sleeps with his necklace on; he sleeps on a bed and not a futon; at first I thought he woke up holding his plush's hand but his hand is merely next to the toy; and considering the state of the pillow and blanket, I wonder if he moves a lot in his sleep or if the is just because in this case he seems to be waking up from a nightmare about the dog incident...

Final note: I've spent so many hours writing this I don't remember if i was building up to any big finale or not but I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to add on in the comments/reblogs.

[morganaspendragonss]

Hello, fic request coming through if you are still doing them! Okay, Carlos has not been feeling well so he stays in and doesn't go to his shift. TK still has his shift, so he wants to stay with Carlos to keep an eye on him but Carlos says he is fine. TK is uneasy at work just wants to go back home, he calls Carlos but he is not answering. Tommy says TK can go check up on Carlos, while he is at home, he finds Carlos in bed and when he goes closer, Carlos is not breathing. Paramedic!TK coming through. Super angst ensues but Carlos makes it in the end after some time in a coma.

holly's august extravaganza day 25: heaving through corrupted lungs

thank you for the prompt!

thanks also to @noxsoulmate for the beta! 💚

ao3 | 2.9k | major character illness, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, brief references to past, canonical character death

“Strand, I know we’re not on a call right now, but you could at least pretend to be focused.”

TK flushes as Tommy’s somewhat less-than amused voice reaches him from the back of the ambulance. He hurriedly locks his phone and shoves it in the glove compartment, though not before checking every messaging app he has for word from Carlos.

There’s none, of course, just like it’s been all day. Logically, he knows Carlos is probably sleeping—god knows he needs it—but that isn’t going to stop him from worrying, or from sending check-up texts every ten minutes. It does, however, stop Carlos from answering, which isn’t very conducive to TK’s ability to concentrate on work today.

“Sorry, Cap,” he says. “It’s just—”

“Carlos is sick and you’re being paranoid, as usual,” Nancy chimes in, audibly rolling her eyes from the driver’s seat. “Look, dude, if he said he’s fine, then he’s probably fine.”

“Well, I’m the paramedic in the relationship, and I say he’s not fine.” TK sighs and forces himself to resist the urge to pull out his phone again. “Carlos likes to lecture me about hiding injuries, but he’s exactly the same when he’s ill; he could be on death’s door and still saying he’s okay. But he hasn’t said anything today, so I’m worried.”

“You’re always worried about him.”

“Welcome to relationships,” Tommy comments. “Seriously though, TK, are you going to be okay to finish this shift? There’s still ten hours to go and we cannot afford for you to be distracted out there.”

TK doesn’t answer right away; on one hand, he’s itching to go home and check on Carlos, to make sure he’s still breathing and actually resting like he’s supposed to be. On the other hand, Carlos would probably kill him if he left work, illness be damned. It’s just… Carlos had looked so ill that morning, skin ashen and voice all but gone, and it had taken a lot of convincing for TK to still go to his own shift. He’d insisted on making sure Carlos had all the blankets and water and snacks and anything else he could possibly want, but even so, he’s still uneasy.

His gut is telling him that something’s wrong, and TK doesn’t think he can ignore it for much longer.

He’s staring out the window, considering his options, when he realises that he knows these streets. Like, actually knows them. They’re right around the corner from his and Carlos’s home, and an idea strikes TK like a lightning bolt.

“Hey, Cap?” he asks, twisting around in his seat to look at her. “How about we take a lunch break now instead of driving all the way back to the station? There’s a great place nearby, and it’s less likely that we’ll be interrupted by a call before we get food.”

Tommy eyes him suspiciously, clearly not buying his innocent act. “What are you talking about, TK?”

“Mine and Carlos’s place is literally two streets away; we could drop by and I could check in on him and make sure he’s okay. Plus,” he continues, already spotting the argument on Tommy’s face, “I’m not lying about the food. Carlos cooks in bulk, so we’ve got loads of leftover casserole in the freezer.”

Tommy pauses, indecision clear in her expression. She narrows her eyes at TK, scrutinising him. “Will this mean you’ll stop being so distracted?”

“Absolutely.”

“Alright.” She sighs and nods, and Nancy switches directions to head towards their home. “I’m holding you to that, Strand.”

TK spends the entire drive, short as it is, drumming his fingers on his knees and trying to keep the ever-growing panic at bay. Carlos is going to be fine.

He has to be.

He jumps out the ambulance before Nancy’s even fully stopped it, cursing himself as he fumbles with his keys. Tommy pats his shoulder soothingly; it doesn’t really calm him down, but TK appreciates the effort and her unconditional support. When he gets inside, he simply waves a hand in the general direction of the freezer, hoping Tommy and Nancy get the message, and barrels upstairs, Carlos’s name bursting from his lips.

“Carlos, babe, you here?” It’s a stupid question; TK had seen the Camaro in the driveway and Carlos is far too ill to want to walk anywhere—or so TK hopes—so he has to be home. But the silence draws out, and TK’s heart is pounding a mile a minute by the time he reaches the door to their bedroom.

“Carlos?” He pushes open the door, sighing in relief when he sees his fiancé sprawled across the bed, dead to the world. It’s a little weird that he hasn’t woken up yet given how loud TK was shouting, but it’s probably just because his body needs the rest. TK would bet that the apocalypse could happen outside the window and Carlos wouldn’t so much as stir.

He tip-toes towards the bed, a soft smile spreading across his lips as anxiety gives way to fondness and love. It’s not until he’s within touching distance of Carlos that he registers just how still he is; just how silent the room is.

This morning, Carlos’s breathing was loud and harsh, punctuated with periodic sniffs and coughs.

Now, he’s not making a sound.

And, as TK drops to his knees and bends over his fiancé’s body, he realises that his chest isn’t moving.

Carlos isn’t breathing.

The panic is back in full force as TK frantically presses his fingers to Carlos’s pulse point, praying for something—a flutter, anything—to indicate that Carlos isn’t… That he’s not…

There’s nothing.

Instinct takes over, TK linking his hands on Carlos’s chest and starting compressions even as his vision blurs with tears and he chokes on the sobs building in his throat.

“Cap!” he yells, not taking his eyes off Carlos. “Cap, up here!”

A minute later, Tommy and Nancy burst into the room, both halting in shock for a moment before jumping into action. Nancy moves to the other side of the bed, already pulling out the ambu bag, while Tommy comes to stand by TK.

“What do we have?” she asks, professional as ever, though there’s a clear worried undertone to her voice.

“No pulse, no respiration,” he manages, voice thick. “Skin is warm to the touch. No clear cause, but patient was congested and moderately feverish during the past few days.”

Tommy nods and gently pushes at TK’s shoulder. “Alright, you did good, TK, but you should let us take over now,” she says gently. “Come on, Nancy and I can handle this.”

TK ignores her, continuing compressions with renewed force. “I have to help him, Cap. I have to.”

“And you have, but now—”

“No!” Later, TK will be ashamed of the way he lost control like that, and he’ll have to apologise to Tommy, but the only thing he can really, truly focus on now is Carlos. He keeps pushing, feeling Carlos’s ribs give under his hands, and forces himself to keep going even though his stomach turns at the idea of causing him any pain. “Come on, baby,” he mutters. “Come on, Carlos, please.”

Time is running out; TK can tell by the way the silence is starting to feel heavier and heavier, by the looks he knows Tommy and Nancy must be exchanging over his head. Carlos’s time is running out, and TK is staring down a future he doesn’t know he can survive, and—

“I have a pulse!” Nancy shouts, and the words don’t register in TK’s head until Tommy’s hands are forcibly pulling him back and Carlos’s chest is moving and his eyelids start to flutter.

Tommy slides into the space left by TK, practiced hands checking Carlos’s vitals. “Carlos, can you hear me?”

She gets no response save for a weak groan, then Carlos’s body goes slack again and his head lolls limply on the pillow. TK takes a panicked step forward, but he’s just as quickly pushed back as Tommy secures an oxygen mask over Carlos’s face.

“Nancy, get the backboard and the gurney ready. Heart rate is arrhythmic and respiration is laboured; radio Austin Memorial and get their cardiac unit on standby.”

Nancy dashes out of the bedroom, and Tommy grabs her own radio. “Dispatch, this is RA 126 responding to a cardiac event at 2204 Allred Drive. Patient is unconscious and breathing, however at the time of arrival, he was in cardiac arrest. Duration unknown.”

“Copy that, RA 126.”

Nancy arrives with the backboard, and TK feels like an invisible observer as he watches his two teammates work. He’s stuck, barely breathing, as he watches Carlos struggle and fight for his life; he doesn’t know what he’s going to do if he dies, here and now.

TK moves as if in a nightmare as they get Carlos down the stairs and into the ambulance, eyes constantly locked on his fiancé. He thinks Tommy might say something to him, but he doesn’t hear it and he doesn’t bother to ask—terrible as it is to admit, he doesn’t care right now. He can’t care; there’s no more room inside him for anything else but Carlos.

He wraps a hand around Carlos’s wrist, two fingers resting on his pulse point, and prays that he’ll never have to feel that absence again.

*

Tommy sits beside him in the waiting room, a silent show of support while they wait for news on Carlos. Or until they catch another call; whichever comes first. Nancy is…somewhere. TK thinks she might have gone to grab some coffee or a snack, but he honestly has no idea. He’s kind of lost track of things, the hospital’s plain white walls turning time into water as they wait, and wait, and wait.

“I know how you feel, you know,” Tommy says, unprompted. “The night that Charles died, I… I spent so long blaming myself. I wasn’t there, you know? And I just kept thinking that if I had been there, if I hadn’t stayed out at Grace and Judd’s, then I might have been able to do something to save him.” She levels him with a firm, yet motherly look, and TK drops his gaze to the floor. “I know now that there was nothing. It kills me to admit it, but what happened would have happened either way, and it’s the same here. Carlos is young, healthy—there was no reason to suspect anything might happen. Certainly nothing like this. You did everything that you could, TK, and you have to hold onto that, no matter what the outcome.”

TK squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head, giving up on keeping the tears at bay. Tommy reaches out to wrap one arm around him, but he jerks away, curling in on himself. “It’s not the same,” he whispers, voice thick. “It’s not— I knew, Cap. I knew he was ill and I still left him.”

“You said you guys thought it was just a bad cold.”

“No, I knew. I’m a paramedic, how could I have missed this?”

“These things happen, TK,” she says softly. “It’s cruel, and it’s senseless, and, more than anything, it’s unavoidable. We can go in circles blaming ourselves for it—and I know it’s worse for us; we think we should be able to see everything because it’s our job, right?

“The thing is, we’re the most blind when it comes to the people we love. We think we see everything and we always worry over them, but ultimately we just want to believe that everything’s going to be okay. That they’re going to be okay. It’s hard to accept when they’re not.”

“I should have done more.”

“You did all you cou—”

“No, I didn’t.” He lets out a sob, twisting away from Tommy’s touch once more when she tries to comfort him. “I should have insisted on staying home; I should have thought about going to check on him earlier. We have no idea how long he was lying there, dead—he was dead, Tommy—before we arrived, but if I had been there then I could have gotten him help.”

TK takes a shuddering breath and looks up at his captain, meeting her eyes for the first time since they were in the ambulance. “Tommy, if he dies, then I swear I’ll never forgive myself. Never.”

Tommy looks like she wants to say more, but just as she opens her mouth, her radio crackles to life. She sighs regretfully but stands, clasping TK’s shoulder gently.

“He’ll be okay, TK. Believe in that.”

*

Looking at Carlos, TK has never believed in anything less. He’s so still and pale on the bed and TK keeps having to check that his chest is still moving, despite the steady beep of the heart monitor and the constant thrum against his fingertips. He hasn’t let go of Carlos’s wrist since he was allowed into the room, and he doesn’t intend to let go until Carlos is back with him, awake and alive and okay.

He’s trying to believe in that outcome as a certainty, but he knows better than that. Carlos might be young and healthy, but the fact still remains that his heart stopped—coming back from that is far from guaranteed.

It’s been three days since the incident, and Carlos’s parents have been in and out, always bringing TK food and trying to engage him in conversation. He tries, for them, but it’s not easy and the attempts always fizzle out before long; TK just doesn’t have it in him anymore to talk and pretend to be positive. Any hope he ever had has abandoned him, the only thing keeping him afloat his grip around Carlos’s wrist.

A tupperware container drops into his lap, and TK looks up to see Andrea standing over him. She reaches across to caress Carlos’s cheek, then sinks into the chair beside TK, giving him a pointed look.

He sighs, attempting a weak smile for her. “I appreciate it, Andrea, but—”

“No,” she interrupts, shaking her head firmly. “No more buts; I won’t hear them. My son might not be able to make sure you take care of yourself, but I am more than capable of taking over for him. I am very strict about food, ask any of his sisters.” Her stern look softens and she pats his arm gently. “Venga, mijo. You’ll feel better for it.”

TK looks down at the dish in his lap, doing his best to keep a grimace off his face. It looks and smells delicious, like all of Andrea’s cooking, but the sight of it makes his stomach turn, his gag reflex activating at the very thought of putting any in his mouth.

“Andrea, I…” He shakes his head and picks the container up with his free hand, handing it back to her. “I can’t.”

And it’s not just that TK can’t handle any food at the moment, though that certainly plays into it.

But they’re tamales.

The Reyes family recipe tamales, passed down through generations, which Carlos has been slowly attempting to teach TK. Which Carlos always makes on special occasions, and sometimes just for the hell of it.

Which Carlos made the night he proposed.

Andrea looks set to argue, but TK forces an end to the conversation by making her take the container and turning back to Carlos.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, knowing he’s disappointed her. “It’s just hard.”

She sighs and rubs his back. “I know. Just don’t come to me when Carlos wakes up and realises you haven’t been taking care of yourself.”

That almost gets a laugh out of him, and TK looks over to smile at Andrea. It’s a brittle thing, but it’s a smile all the same, which is more than he’s managed in three days. She smiles back at him, and it helps him feel not so alone in all this.

A weak groan is all the warning he gets before, “Are you turning down my mother’s cooking?” reaches his ears, and TK gasps, whipping around to stare at the bed.

Right into Carlos’s eyes.

“Oh my god,” he gasps, tears springing to his eyes. “Oh my god.”

“Hey, baby.” Carlos’s voice is rough and rasping, his eyes fluttering closed again a second later, though TK can tell that he’s still awake. He reaches to the table and pours a cup of water, encouraging Carlos to lift his head and drink through the straw.

“Slow sips, that’s it,” he murmurs, rubbing his thumb gently along Carlos’s wrist, still holding on tightly.

Once Carlos has drunk his fill, he opens his eyes again and looks up at TK, gaze searching his face. “I love you,” he rasps, smiling gently, “but did you really just say no to my mom’s tamales?”

TK splutters, but he can’t keep the smile off his own face, shaking his head fondly at Carlos. “I love you too, idiot,” he says. “And tamales don’t taste the same without you there to eat them with me.”

“Good thing I’m here now, then.”

TK hums. “Guess it is.”

(Later, after the nurses and doctors have come and gone, TK will pick up the tub of tamales, left behind by Andrea when she went to tell everyone the good news.

He and Carlos will split one, pressed close together in the bed to avoid getting crumbs on the sheets. Carlos will be smiling at him the entire time, and TK will kiss him over and over, relishing the sensation of Carlos kissing him back.

And it’ll be the best damn tamale TK has ever eaten.)

[tiramisiyu]

Tears of Themis: Main Story Inspection Chapter - With Vyn [5]

Translation Masterlist | Video 1:17:47 - 1:32:25

Inspection Chapter - Eve of the Voyage: Intro / With Marius / With Artem / With Luke / With Vyn / Conclusion

Bonus: a timeline of everything relevant that’s happened in the Themis main plot so far!

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

⊳ To: Waterfront ⊳ Stellis Hospital ⊳ Observe

After receiving Vyn’s invitation, I rushed straight to Stellis Hospital.

MC: Thanks for waiting, Dr. Richter!

Vyn: It wasn’t a long wait.

Vyn nodded at me with a smile.

There was a line of private hospital rooms behind him.

MC: …

The information indicated that the ward 603 that Xiao Qing was in was at the highest floor of the hospital. This was a visibly emptier area than the other floors… you could see all the way to the end thanks to the incandescent lights along the hall.

MC: I remember that Xiao Qing had Stage III lung cancer… This isn’t a rare illness, so why has she been placed in such a remote ward? Is it because her illness is severe?

Vyn: That is possible, but this… may have been intentional.

Vyn scanned the area. There wasn’t a single patient in the hallway.

Vyn: It is common for patients with severe illnesses to interact, bolster each others’ moods, and talk about their treatments. But if one is placed here, it would be rare for them to interact with others aside from doctors and nurses on duty.

MC: If this was intentional, that might mean that there’s information we can find about Xiao Qing’s illness.

Vyn nodded and continued to observe.

MC: Also, the fact that she has the same name as Xiao Ren’s older sister is probably no mere coincidence. According to Little Yao, Xiao Ren’s sister has always been healthy, but I still suspect that they may be the same person. If they’re the same person, then the series of events that have happened to these siblings is worth investigating into.

Vyn: I agree with you, but we can only judge after we have spoken with Xiao Qing herself.

As we spoke, a nursing assistant walked out of Xiao Qing’s ward.

MC: …

Vyn: …

⊳ Nursing assistant ⊳ Visit Xiao Qing

The moment we saw the nursing assistant walked up, we immediately headed over and spoke to her. However, when she found out that we wanted to see Xiao Qing, this woman frowned intensely, as if in opposition.

Nursing Assistant: Who are you to Miss Xiao?

Vyn: We are Heirson medical centre staff in charge of regular visits to past clients. We heard that Miss Xiao is currently receiving treatment for her illness, so we wanted to visit and potentially provide assistance.

Nursing Assistant: Medical centre…?

The nursing assistant muttered to herself, then retreated a few steps and blocked the door to the ward.

Vyn: …

Nursing Assistant: Apologies, Miss Xiao has just finished treatment and requires rest, so she cannot receive guests right now… I will let her know of your intentions, so you’ll have to leave for today.

MC: That’s fine. Our medical centre always places our clients first, and we can wait as long as needed.

Vyn played along, his gaze inquisitorial.

Vyn: Although, if I recall correctly, nursing assistants focus on the day-to-day care of patients. As for receiving guests, should that not be something decided by the patients themselves?

Nursing Assistant: …

Nursing Assistant: My apologies, Miss Xiao was already sleeping, so I… I’ll go check. Please wait a moment.

Vyn scoffed nearly inaudibly, but when I turned around, he had already switched to a warm smile.

Vyn: Don’t worry. We will be quiet.

A few minutes later, the nursing assistant returned.

Nursing Assistant: Please come in.

Thus, we followed the nursing assistant into Xiao Qing’s ward.

In the ward, a wig-wearing, sickly-looking woman was reclining on the bed, drawing. The nursing assistant snatched away the thing in her hands when she saw it.

Nursing Assistant: Miss Xiao, please focus on resting. Don’t exhaust yourself.

MC: …

Xiao Qing seemed to be used to this. She turned around to look at us when the assistant threw the paper and pen away.

Xiao Qing: These two are…

Vyn: We are doctors from the medical centre, and we wanted to visit Miss Xiao to learn about your recent condition.

Xiao Qing: Cough… is that so…

Not two sentences later, Xiao Qing started to cough quietly.

Xiao Qing: I thought the one coming was…

Nursing Assistant: Miss Xiao!

The nursing assistant suddenly cut her short.

Xiao Qing: !!!

Xiao Qing: …

MC: …

Vyn: …

Vyn: …

Vyn’s gaze circled between Xiao Qing and the assistant several times.

Vyn: Speaking of which, Miss Xiao, do you know of Dr. Xiao Ren from our medical centre?

Xiao Qing: Xiao… Xiao Ren?!

Xiao Qing instinctively curled up.

Xiao Qing: N-no, I don’t…

Vyn: Oh? He was in charge of the VIP clients’ medical examinations, yet you have never seen him, Miss Xiao?

Xiao Qing: I o-only saw him a few times… cough cough…

Vyn: Is that so? What a pity…

Xiao Qing: A pity?

Vyn: Yes, we suddenly lost contact with Dr. Xiao these past few days. I thought that we’d be able to find clues from you…

Xiao Qing: Lost contact?! How could this be?! Did you find him? How could he lose contact, he… cough cough cough…

Xiao Qing suddenly burst into a stream of coughs, possibly due to her intense change in emotions. Her face was scarlet, and she looked terribly pained.

MC: Miss Xiao, are you alright?!

Xiao Qing: I’m alright, cough cough cough…

Nursing Assistant: Miss Xiao needs rest. Please return.

The nursing assistant acted in consideration of Xiao Qing’s situation as she shooed us out.

MC: …

Vyn: Alright, we will leave now. Please take care, Miss Xiao.

After we returned to the hallway, Vyn and I exchanged glances.

MC: Looks like we were right – the Xiao Qing we saw is Xiao Ren’s sister. All her reactions were too irregular.

The times she changed her mind on whether she’d seen Xiao Ren before, as well as her panic after hearing about Xiao Ren’s disappearance, were clear indicators that she was very familiar – and very concerned – about him. And in the prior investigation, it was his older sister who was most likely to feel this way for him.

Vyn: Yes. Not only her, but that assistant seems more to be monitoring Xiao Qing’s every move than taking care of her daily life.

MC: It seems like there really might be something behind her illness… Dr. Richter, should we find others to find out more about the situation?

Vyn: Of course. Who would you like to speak to?

MC: When we came in, I saw the on-duty nurse at the counter. Maybe we can try asking her.

⊳ Nurse ⊳ Visitors of Patients

MC: My apologies for the trouble, but aside from us, has there been anyone to visit Miss Xiao of ward 603 recently?

The nurse behind the on-duty counter looked dubiously at us.

Nurse: Didn’t you just visit Miss Xiao? Why did you not ask her?

MC: Uh…

Vyn: Apologies, we forgot to ask, as we left in a rush. Miss Xiao is resting right now, so if we were to return, that nursing assistant will likely refuse to let us in.

Nurse: … True, that assistant is so strict. Even we have to let her know first before our usual treatment work. Plus, she always monitors us from the side, as if we’re going to hurt the patient…

MC: Is she that careful?

Nurse: Indeed she is. But if I think about it, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I haven’t seen people visit Miss Xiao during these past few years, so her caution has at least got to be better than those who just do things half heartedly.

Vyn: She seems to have no one to rely on… during Miss Xiao’s treatment, she must have encountered financial difficulties, did she not?

Nurse: She’s not completely on her own. At the very least, someone has been paying for her hospital fees on time – though I don’t know who it is.

⊳ Xiao Qing’s Illness

MC: Would you happen to know when Xiao Qing’s hospitalization started?

Nurse: Around when I was rotated to this location… I remember this very clearly – it was in 2027.

MC: Why do you remember it that clearly? Were there any special reasons for this?

The nurse sighed deeply.

Nurse: Of course. When she came here, she was already severely ill. We had no idea why such a young woman’s condition could have deteriorated so badly – even our highest-ranked experts were shocked during diagnosis. We only found out later that she used to see a doctor at a private clinic in the north district… They probably didn’t treat her effectively, and things just got worse as time went on.

Nurse: Ah… did I say too much?

Vyn: Do you recall the name of that clinic?

Nurse: I heard the doctor mention it before – something-Ren Clinic…

Vyn: Puren Clinic? There is a clinic in the north district with this name.

Nurse: Yes, that’s the one. Why are you asking about this?

Vyn: As she is one of our former clients, we want to help her as much as possible.

MC: Thank you. Please continue to take care of Miss Xiao.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

After we walked out the hospital’s main entrance, Vyn immediately called Darius Morgan and updated him. After the call ended, he smiled apologetically at me.

Vyn: I will likely have to trouble you to come with me to that Puren Clinic next.

MC: That’s what I should do, Dr. Richter. Xiao Qing doesn’t seem to be short on money, yet she chose to go to an obscure private clinic – it’s a bit weird…

Vyn: Yes. Typically, ignoring treatment standards and opting for such private clinics is due to secrecy. Captain Morgan will be there soon – let’s meet up with him there.

MC: Sure!

⊳ To: North District ⊳ Puren Clinic ⊳ Observe

Puren Clinic – a privately-owned clinic – was located in a residential area in the north district. Accompanied by Darius, we easily entered the clinic.

Darius Morgan: I’m up-to-date on the situation. What are your plans?

Vyn: I would like to inquire the clinic doctors about Xiao Qing’s illness.

MC: But just in case, Captain Morgan, please request a hard copy of her medical history from the clinic.

Darius Morgan: Understood. Let’s split up, then.

⊳ Clinic Doctor ⊳ Ask

Based on Xiao Qing’s illness, we decided to ask a respirologist.

Clinic Doctor: Which of you is here for the check-up?

MC: Hello, we’re not here for a check-up. We just wanted to ask about a few things.

Clinic Doctor: Ask about a few things? Who are you?

The doctor watched us warily.

Vyn: Do not worry, we have no ill intent. Like you, I am a doctor, and she… is my partner.

Clinic Doctor: …

Vyn: I have heard that this private clinic performs excellent treatments, so I wanted to consult with you a little.

Vyn calmly spun out an excuse, while the clinic doctor…

Clinic Doctor: Is that so…

He fell for it.

Clinic Doctor: Ahem… then I’ll just have to teach you.

 ⊳ Xiao Qing’s illness

MC: Do you have any impression of a patient named Xiao Qing? She has Stage III lung cancer and was receiving treatment here at the beginning.

Clinic Doctor: Xiao Qing?

The doctor frowned, pointing at the two words on the computer for my confirmation.

Clinic Doctor: Written like this?

MC: Yes… did you think of something?

Clinic Doctor: If we are speaking of the same person, Xiao Qing was not diagnosed with lung cancer, as far as I can remember. At the very least, there were no indications that she was ill when she was here.

Vyn: Are you sure? The last time she came here was a few years ago. Your memories may not be fully accurate.

Faced with our dubious gazes, the young doctor pointed at himself assuredly.

Clinic Doctor: Impossible. I treasure every single table and chair in this clinic and every patient we have. How could I be wrong? Don’t look down on me. 

Clinic Doctor: Xiao Qing did come to our clinic a few times, but they were all for small issues. If her illness has already reached this stage, it would have been impossible for me to not have seen the signs before…

The male doctor suddenly lowered his head.

Clinic Doctor: Impossible…

As he muttered to himself, we heard Darius’ voice outside.

⊳ Ask about health

MC: Doctor, would you also be able to do an examination on me? I’m somewhat concerned about my recent health…

Clinic Doctor: About you…

The doctor scanned me up and down.

Clinic Doctor: Insufficient blood supply to your brain, suboptimal complexion. You’re at risk of dying a bloody death these days.

Note: This diagnosis sounds pretty unreliable because what’s been translated to “insufficient blood supply to your brain” was originally “your Yintang is dark”. The Yintang is an acupuncture point between the eyebrows. As for the “bloody death”, the term used here referred to an old superstition.

Vyn: What is this nonsense?

Before I could speak, Vyn stared at that doctor with a hint of anger in his gaze.

Clinic Doctor: I’m doing it on purpose. You haven’t been registered, and we haven’t built a doctor-patient relationship yet, so that’s all I could do, right?

Vyn: …

MC: … Pretend I didn’t ask.

⊳ Medical qualifications

MC: Doctor, if I may be so bold, did this private clinic undergo professional qualification reviews upon opening?

Clinic Doctor: Can’t you tell?

The doctor twirled the pen in his hand, smiling relaxedly.

Clinic Doctor: Doesn’t the fact that I can sit here calmly while the police are here mean that our clinic’s “qualifications” are more than sufficient?

MC: Ha… haha…

⊳ Darius Morgan ⊳ Investigation Results

MC: Captain Morgan, did you get the medical history records?

Darius Morgan: I did. Please check it through.

Darius handed a copy of the medical history to us.

[Obtained Xiao Qing’s Medical History!]

Vyn and I flipped quickly through the document – its contents matched up with what the doctor had said earlier.

MC: How is this possible? So Xiao Qing…

Vyn: Perhaps it is just as Artem said before…

Because Darius was there, Vyn didn’t complete his sentence.

MC: What do we do next then, Dr. Richter?

Vyn: The five of us should all meet up tomorrow, same time and place. It’s time for us to combine our information.