#im deranged please excuse me

[lulla-bee]

well well well how the turn tables

[todayisafridaynight]

the post where i compare sawashiro and mine

venn diagram for the sparknotes version of this post but i'll also clarify potentially confusing points + exploring the designs of their office spaces and how it relates to their characters under the cut so i can explain my insanity

definitely enabled by my recent back and forth with @/04tenno. i've taken the relevant notes from our asks, but you can read them in full here p1 p2 p3

Yoshitaka Mine

33 years old

6'1 height

Had healthy relationship with father Mine's father was encouraging and concerned for his safety and future

Lost father to illness The loss of his father left Mine alone in the world, fueling his desire to find comradery again

Exemplary in barefisted combat Mine is well-trained in various martial arts, additionally shown to practice boxing in his spare time

Motivated by desire for interpersonal relationships Mine's greatest ambition in life was to achieve a true bond and to overcome his feelings of being betrayed by the society around him

Past work as venture capitalist Prior to his life as a yakuza, Mine worked as a white-collar citizen

Apparent close relationship with superior Mine is shown to have a friendly and mutual relationship with Daigo Dojima

Disdain for children Mine believes children- especially orphans- are privileged leeches on the generous fortune of adults

Challenges authority Mine doesn't shy from scolding Daigo Dojima when he acts recklessly and puts the needs of Kazuma Kiryu before the Tojo Clan's. He neither shies away from sharing ideas with peers, no matter how ludicrous they may appear

Center

Fights protagonist over superior Mine and Kazuma Kiryu fight atop Touto Hospital due to their philosophical disagreements and whether killing a comatose Daigo Dojima would be right for him. In RGGO, Ichiban Kasuga and Sawashiro fight atop the Millennium Tower due to Ichiban believing Sawashiro betrayed Masumi Arakawa.

Ironclad devotion Mine demonstrates his unwavering belief in Daigo Dojima with unapologetic ire against parties he believe to be acting in opposition to Daigo. He additionally makes extreme, selfless financial endeavors in order to support Daigo. Sawashiro, though unable to make his loyalty overly loud, demonstrates his near-four-decade-long commitment to the son he previously abandoned, Masato Arakawa. As a result, he'd become similarly committed to the man who came to raise him in his stead, Masumi Arakawa.

Devotion is plot twist Though the audience was lead to believe Mine was working maliciously against Daigo Dojima, it's revealed Mine, from his perspective, was acting in Daigo's best interests. In RGGO, Ichiban confronts Sawashiro about his chaotic activity and asserts it goes against Masumi Arakawa's ideals, whereas Sawashiro retorts and claims everything he's done was only to benefit Arakawa. In Y7, not only is it revealed Sawashiro refused to kill Arakawa despite it being an order from Masato Arakawa- a party he had yet to ever disobey- but the full extent of Sawashiro's history with Masato and ergo the true nature of his devotion is brought to light.

Absent father figure at young age Mine loses his father presumably before his teenage years to an unspecified illness. Sawashiro runs away from his abusive household at the age of 15, where he only had an alcoholic father to look after him.

Treasurer Despite the questionable status of their education, Mine and Sawashiro prove themselves intelligent enough to be able to manage the finances of their respective clans.

Outbursts of extreme violence Mine seldom acts with violence without reason. However, upon the mockery of Daigo Dojima's death, Mine forgoes his collected demeanor and stabs the hand of the man praising his death. Though Sawashiro is shown to be more prone to violence, he similarly has an especially bloody scene subsequent to the death of Masumi Arakawa. He almost cuts the finger of Ichiban Kasuga off after believing Ichiban acted irresponsibly, especially with regards to the care of Masato Arakawa.

Irezumi honors superior Mine's irezumi depicts a kirin, a mythical creatures renowned for their intense and volatile devotion to benevolent leaders they deem worthy. Undoubtedly, Mine perceives himself as the righteous kirin, Daigo his holy ruler. In RGGO, Sawashiro's irezumi depicts a dragonfish, a design Ichiban Kasuga asserts he mimicked as it was gotten in order to honor Masumi Arakawa. The dragon is meant to represent Arakawa, the koi meant to represent the desire to live up to his example.

Joined yakuza for specific person Mine seeks to join the yakuza in order to meet the Tojo Clan's sixth chairman, Daigo Dojima, after seeing low-rate yakuza sacrifice themselves for him. Sawashiro joins the yakuza in order to be closer to his son, Masato Arakawa, after discovering the patriarch of the Arakawa Family, Masumi Arakawa, is his new father.

Interest in art Mine's affinity for art is evident in his office space decorum alongside in-game RGGO dialogue. However, Sawashiro's interest is arguably implied based off of the textures used for the books in his office. The implication that Sawashiro harbors a similar interest in art should be taken lightly.

Jo Sawashiro

57 years old

6'2 height

Had toxic relationship with father Sawashiro would shirk going home in order to avoid being abused by his alcoholic father

Ran from father By age 15, Sawashiro commits to running away from home

Specializes in weapon-based combat Though he possesses skill in boxing, Sawashiro's martial forte revolves around weaponry, his toolkit ranging from katana to broken glass pieces and walking canes

Motivated by guilt for and devotion to son Prior to reconnecting with Masato Arakawa after abandoning him as an infant, Sawashiro describes himself as having lived life 'half-assed'. Upon joining the yakuza, Sawashiro's actions are heavily motivated to do what benefits Masato Arakawa. The only exception to this rule was the order to assassinate Masumi Arakawa.

Past work as construction worker In order to support himself and his girlfriend, Ikumi, Sawashiro worked as a construction worker

Superior co-parents child, but depth of relationship is uncertain After Sawashiro abandons Masato Arakawa as an infant, Masumi Arakawa mistakenly rescues and raises him as his own son. Once joining the Arakawa Family, Sawashiro resumes taking care of Masato from a distance, effectively raising Masato alongside Arakawa. Despite this, the true extent of their amiability with each other is unknown, though Arakawa has demonstrated to be comfortable enough to refer to Sawashiro by his given name.

Father to one child Sawashiro fathers Masato Arakawa alongside Masumi Arakawa. Masato has shown to be comfortable enough with Sawashiro to contact him when in duress and notes he 'followed him like a lost puppy' as he was growing up, suggesting Sawashiro's consistent proximity to him.

Obeys authority Sawashiro is often a quiet follower of those in a greater position compared to himself. The only exception to this behavior was after Masumi Arakawa's death, where he punctures the eye of one of his superiors.

BONUS: Office Space Observation

"Snap why bother analyzing their office spaces if they're different" because Sawashiro's original office in RGGO was the same as Mine's:

With Y7, he evidently has a new space of his own, so why not take a chance to look at how they differ now.

Yoshitaka Mine's Office in Minato:

Bright walls and well lit

Personal desk is in proximity to social aspect of the room and is in the back of the room, blocked by social area. In addition, Mine utilizes couches for his social area.

First floor is small and important pieces are close to each other. Bar is closer to personal desk, but not totally out of reach from social area.

Hakuho Family crest is high on the wall and generally out of sight when first entering the room.

Windows are behind Mine's desk and are covered with mahogany blinds

A surface-level assessment of Mine's office would assert he favors intimacy and for guests to be close with one another and himself. Having the bar beside him suggests his method of showing friendship is through acts of service, as he would most likely be the one to bring guests drinks. The bright condition of the room being only offset with tasteful dark furniture gives off an inviting atmosphere yet not overbearing. Coupled with the domestic set up, with every important part of the room being so close to one another, it reaffirms his goal to be close with others.

Jo Sawashiro's Office in Kamurocho:

Dark walls, selective lighting

Personal desk is not only removed from social area, but it's the main attraction of the office, the leisurely area sectioned off to a separate room. However, Sawashiro has two seats situated behind his desk

Bar is close to social area. Sawashiro uses individual, spaced-out chairs for social area

Room is enormous and incredibly empty

Arakawa Family crest is right above Sawashiro's desk, immediately drawing attention to itself upon entry

Windows are replaced by one wall being made entirely of thick glass

Compared to Mine's office, Sawashiro's office floor is significantly simpler. The most decorated part of the office belongs to his personal area at the heart of the room, the area perfectly symmetrical and uniform (or it would be without it being thrashed) but lacking in intense lighting. Moreover, this area is separated from where guests would gather, and even the social room has guests set in armchairs, separating everyone from themselves. Unlike his personal area, the social from is well lit and has the bar being right next to guests and far away from Sawashiro. It can be assessed that Sawashiro isn't overly concerned with others and prefers to isolate himself, but knows enough to provide a pleasant room to let them occupy themselves and leave him unbothered. Alongside the eye-catching Arakawa Family crest positioned above him, the two seats sat behind Sawashiro could reference Masato and Masumi Arakawa, asserting that his only wish in life is to serve the family.

[cozage]

Hello! Hello! Hope you are doing well! Could I get sfw and nsfw headcanons for shanks, ace, and kidd with an S/O whose being bratty/annoying because they want physical attention?

ILY this was so ?!?!!?? Ugh im literally in love with this writing and you for giving me this prompt thank you

Characters: gn reader x Shanks, Ace, Kidd CW: mostly nsfw things going on here of varying calibers. Shanks has some nipple play. Kidd is absolutely deranged like always

Bratty Consequences

Shanks

Oh Shanks knows the very fine line that exists between your “fun witty banter” and “i'm about to be a major brat”

He always, always, always gives you attention when you start to give him attitude. He knows what you want. You can’t trick him. 

Normally he soothes you before you even have the chance to be a nuisance honestly. He’ll see you storm into a room and say “Baby!! I was looking for you! Come sit with me.”

Shanks is a big lap guy. He loves wrapping his arm around you and holding you close. 

If you start to squirm, trying to grind against his cock, he’ll give your neck or your ear a little nip. “Settle down now,” he’ll purr in your ear. “I’ll take care of you real soon, mmkay?”

Inevitably, you’ll start rocking again, trying to get his attention back on you. One of two things will happen, depending on where you are. 

One: If you’re in public or sitting at a table, his hand will dip down and start stimulating you back. If you’re going to play dirty, so will he. He has no shame, especially if he’s on an island you’ll never visit again. If people want to see him stroking you over your clothes, so let them. He’ll edge you on until you’re whimpering and begging him to fuck you, all with a smile on his face. 

Two: If he’s with the crew or not doing anything important, he’ll excuse himself from the table and pull you along to a secluded place.

Regardless of how it starts, it ends the same.

Once you’re alone, he’ll pull your shirt off and grab your hand. He starts with your finger tips and slowly kisses his way up your arm, to your shoulder, and down your torso. 

He’ll stop for a moment at your nipples, giving them a little extra attention. He kisses them, sucks them, rolls them in his fingers and teases you endlessly by holding them between his teeth. He stays there for as long as he needs, until you’re so desperate that you’re practically dry humping him. 

He’ll finally move lower, kissing your stomach and slowly trailing down to your groin. He’ll hover, breathing heavy with desire. Even if you raise your hips to get closer to his mouth, he’ll move back just out of reach, so his breath is still whispering across your skin. 

“Please, Shanks,” you beg him. You’re so desperate, you can’t think straight. All you want is his mouth on your skin again. “Please.”

He smiles, eager to grant your wish. And he dives straight into pleasing you, getting more passionate with every moan, whimper, and sigh you let out. 

Ace

Oh Ace loves when you get bratty. It may even be his favorite version of you, because he knows what always comes after. 

In the early stages of your mood, he gives you sass right back. It’s flirtatious banter, because he knows that will shut you up and bring a cute blush to your cheeks. 

Once you start getting more demanding though, or your tone starts getting sharper, he’ll just cut you off mid sentence and start giving you little kisses all over your face. 

Tbh…he’s a bit stupid, so sometimes it takes him a bit to realize how to actually…help you.

When you snap at him, he holds your hand. When you start to get grumpy, he asks when was the last time you ate. When you start to whine, he pulls you into his chest and holds you for a long time. He’ll still say some stupid or witty comment, but it’s paired with the attention you need and want. You always grumble or try to fight his cute gestures, and eventually it clicks.

“Oh, I see,” He’ll say and he wraps you in a tight hug. Even when you fight him, he just picks you up and throws you over his shoulder. “Be back soon fellas. Gotta go take care of something, ” he’ll call to his friends, which results in you covering your face with your hands in embarrassment. 

“Alright babe,” Ace says, setting you down on the bed. “What do you want?”

“Nothing.” You cross your arms and turn your head away from him. 

“Really?” Ace asks, cocking an eyebrow. He pushes you onto your back, and opens your legs to tower above you. “You don’t want anything at all?”

“Nope.” You’re trying to avoid eye contact with him, still pouting. 

“Not even…” he leans across your torso so his lips are right above your neck. “This?” 

His question sends a shiver down your spine, and you take a sharp breath in as his lips press against your neck. A soft moan escapes your lips that further ignites his passion, and he bites down on your soft flesh. 

“Ace,” you sigh his name and he grins against your neck. His tongue swirls over the area he just bit, and you can feel your body arching, trying to press against him. 

“Lift,” he demands, sitting back up. His fingers grab your belt loops and he quickly yanks your shorts off and tosses them to the side. 

You reach for Ace’s belt buckle as well, eager for his cock to be free, but he stops you. 

“Don’t worry, love. We’ll get to me,” he chuckles. “Right now, let’s focus on you.”

Kidd

If you’re being bratty to Kidd, you better expect a healthy dose of sass from him. He will always give you attitude back.

Everything is a competition with him, and this is no different. He’ll give you just enough attention to keep your attitude up. Not nearly enough to satisfy you, but little doses here and there to keep the game going. 

Sometimes he’ll offer you food, or acknowledge you with words, but he’s careful not to satisfy you with touch. 

The brattier you get, the more he ignores you. It’s a dangerous game - one that always leads to both of you frustrated for different reasons. But god, it sure is fun. The harder you try to get his attention, the more he degrades and ignores you.

He wants you to grovel and beg for him. He wants you to yell at him, shove him, physically block his view with your body to get him to finally pay attention to you. If you’re going to be bratty, he wants you pissed off as well. (He’s such a red flag for this but we love him anyway)

Only when you demand his attention and are close to your breaking point (which, coincidentally, he's excellent at gauging), will he finally pull you away into a quiet place. 

Once you’re alone, he pushes you down on your knees and unbuckles his pants. “Suck.”

His cock springs forth as his pants drop around his ankles, and you let out a soft whimper. 

“You wanted my attention, didn’t you?” He’ll mock, with a cocky grin on his face. “You’ve got it. Now suck.”

You wrap your lips around his bulbous cock, and he instantly starts thrusting into you. You sputter and choke, but his hands quickly grab your head, holding it in place while he face fucks you. You can feel tears leaking out of your eyes and you struggle to keep eye contact with your captain, but he’s staring down at you with a dark and menacing look. 

What a pretty picture you are, all teary eyed, choking on his cock. He wants to teach you a lesson about consequences to your actions, but now you look so sweet and innocent. He’s almost forgotten what a pain you’ve been to him the past few hours. Almost. 

When he finally lets go of you and pulls out of your mouth, you’re left gasping for air. He instantly drops down on his knees and grabs your face, pulling you in for a long kiss. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles. “You’re so hot. How can I reward you for being so good? You want me to fuck you now?”

You’re still struggling to catch your breath, but you let out a nod, your eyes widening in enthusiasm. 

He gives you a cocky grin, pushing you down on your back. “You really are a brat, you know that? But I’m going to take care of you now.” He lines his cock at your entrance and begins to slowly push into you, moaning slightly as you adjust to his size. “So you better be good and take it all, okay baby?”

[unreleasedwrites]

Baking Shenanigans

“Told you!”

summary: You and your boyfriend are just at your place. It’s 2 in the morning, the both of you couldn’t fall asleep and were craving some cookies— you guys came across some random five star recipe online and decided to bake cookies together— an activity you haven’t tried with him until this very moment.

character(s) included: Kwak Jihan x fem!reader

cw: pet names/nicknames, kissing on neck, lips, forehead, you and Jihan have been in a relationship for a good while, sort of sarcastic reader, reader is shorter by like a head compared to Jihan, idk a lot about baking because i’m usually an assistant, idk any recipes so i just clicked the first 5 star one i saw, a bunch of teasing, other than that, it’s just fluff & me coping with whats happening in lookism 1a, and reader is addressed as “you” here cs idk? thaz how i write

unwrapped on: Saturday Night, August 20 2023

wrapped up on: Wednesday Morning, August 23 2023

published on: Wednesday Morning, August 23 2023 (at arnd 10 AM)

“The first two ingredients we need is a whole bunch of softened butter and even more sugar” You said as you looked over at Jihan.

“Whats the difference between the brown and white sugar?”

“No idea!” You said as you clapped once and walked away.

You left Jihan up to the decision of which sugar should be used while you grabbed the big bowl with 2 sticks of butter in it. Which you guys had just placed in the microwave for a few seconds so that it’d soften up in no time, but not to the point that it’d melt.

“How much sugar do you think we need?”

“I don’t know, the recipe doesn’t have specific measurements..” You told your boyfriend all the while checking the recipe you guys found.

You simply placed the big bowl in front of your boyfriend cause you weren’t looking for the perfect outcome, you were just hungry and happy that you were taking up baking with him.

“Put er’ there!” You playfully said.

Jihan just stared at you.

“Are you mocking my fake country accent..?” Jihan said, obviously trying to hold in his laughter all the while scratching his head.

You just smiled, a bit embarrassed as you looked away from his gaze.

After a period of awkward silence with an occasional wheeze, your boyfriend finally bursted out laughing, completely loosing it.

“Shut up!! Its two in the morning and I didn’t know what else to say..”

You got a mixer from one of the kitchen closets & started assembling it as it was still in the box. While you were doing that, Jihan gave up & just poured the entire bags of both sugars into the bowl of butter. Luckily, they were only about 1 cup each from both sugars, so it wasn’t something either of you found to be alarming.

You brought the assembled mixer to the counter Jihan was at and stood beside him right after you plugged the mixer in.

“Mix away, cowboy”

“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you, little cowgirl?”

“How the hell am I a cowgirl?” You rose a brow as you watched him turn on the mixer.

“Cause your mine, and if im a cowboy, you’ll be my cowgirl.” Jihan said as he chuckled.

“Sounds just about right to me” You laughed as well.

“Do you think this has the right texture?” He glanced over at you as he turned the mixer off.

“Looks good to me”

“Then could you get whatever we need next, please?” He asked.

“Alright-y! I got 2 eggs and some vanilla extract.”

“Atta’ girl”

You then got a measuring cup and poured some vanilla extract in to it while Jihan cracked the two eggs into the bowl with the mixture.

“How’d ya manage to get that much egg shells into the mixture? That’s gotta be some sort of achievement.” You said sarcastically all the while applauding.

“It’s not my fault, its definitely the eggs in your fridge, they ought to be deranged’.” He said as he was taking the egg shells out & throwing them into the garbage bin nearby, only to come back and stand by your side once he finished.

“What a unique excuse.” You ridiculed and laughed at the irony.

“Oh hush, c’mere you.” He then held his free hand around your waist and pulled you closer to him. Then he kissed you on the forehead.

“That’s what you get” He added.

“Hmph” You started blushing uncontrollably.

He then took a swift step backwards and used his hand on your waist to gently pull you in front of him into a position where he was kind of hugging you from behind. You two have about a head worth of height difference, so he easily put his head on top of yours. He proceeded to free his occupied hand which had just removed the bowl of mixture from the mixer, then placing it on the counter right in front of you as he handed you a whisk.

“Whisk away, cowgirl” He spoke into your ear, which immediately gave you goosebumps.

You then proceeded to whisk as Jihan held the bowl down so you wouldn’t have to worry your pretty little head about that.

You’ve been whisking for a some time (considering it wasn’t easy to get through to the texture), and your boyfriend has been humming some melodies into your ear down to your neck the entire time while swaying you left and right using his left hand that was on your waist.

“I’ll go get the flour” Your boyfriend’s grip on your waist loosened as he went to go get the flour you guys measured in advance earlier.

You just hummed in approval and left the whisk to open the bag of chocolate chips.

Jihan came back and stood beside you while he poured all the flour, and you started pouring tiny chocolate chips all around the mixture. You guys then switched on the mixer one last time to get it ready.

After mixing, you guys washed your hands (arguing over the sink), and then started rolling the cookie dough into different shapes.

“Look, Jihan— I made a heart, and guess who its for!” You exclaimed while holding cookie dough in the shape of a heart in your two hands pressed together.

“Hmmm..” Jihan added, “Well, whoever its for— do they get a kiss with that?”

“Depends, if they play their cards right, then I don’t see why not!” You happily teased.

“Hmmmmmm…..mmm…~” Jihan dragged his hum out before he spoke again, “Could it possibly be.. for me?” He smirked.

“Correct!” You then went on your tippy toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Not to be greedy or anythin’ but I was hoping it’s be on the lips” He pouted as he looked at you.

“Sorry, but unfortunately for you, you took too long to guess, so the reward has been downgraded to only your cheek.” You teased.

“Is that so?”

“Yep!”

“What can I do to change your mind?”

“Absolutely nothing! Tough Luck!”

“I’m gonna get back at you later, when my hands aren’t smothered in cookie dough— so you best be ready.”

You just smiled back at him.

After you guys finished shaping and rolling the cookie dough into all sorts of shapes (in ball form lol), you guys then put it on an oiled tray with parchment paper and popped it into the oven.

Once you closed the oven door shut, Jihan immediately started kissing you from behind all over.

“You’re kinda missing the target, don’t ya think?” You said trying your best to hold in your laughter as he kept placing pecks on your neck, which started to feel ticklish.

Then he swung you right around and gave you a kiss on the lips.

While waiting for the cookies to finish, you guys just went back to your shared bedroom and cuddled while you spoke to one another.

You two only came out when you two heard a ding coming from the kitchen.

You then opened the oven to let the heat out.

“You think it went well??” You asked as you looked over at your boyfriend who got a pair of mittens.

“Dunno, lets check.”

Jihan used the mittens to take the tray out of the oven and place it on the counter.

“Looks like it did go well!”

“How about the taste?”

“Well we gotta wait for it to cool down.”

After a good while of some more teasing, the cookies finally seemed to cool down so you guys decided to finally try it.

“It tastes really good!” Jihan said.

“Are you exaggerating or something?”

“What? No, here— taste it.”

He then gave you a cookie and you bit into it, surprisingly it did taste really good. He saw your reaction and smirked.

“Told you!”

notes: I’m thinking of making this like a series, where i make a fic abt female reader baking w a lookism character, but idk? The end is quite rushed because i didnt know what to put anymore— 😭😭 Although I hope it isn’t too bad and I hope it isnt cringey either lmao I tried my best though (plez request) I was planning on typing more stuff in this notes but i forgot them so might update later (sorry for the mistakes) I might do goo next w same title but yall like baking smth elseee

- With or without proper credits, please don’t try to steal or claim any of my works as your own

I genuinely appreciate opinions, feedback, likes, and reblogs, as this is my third ever post on this blog.

Once again, I hope this isn’t too bad for my third ever post, and i’ll probably be doing more characters in lookism 🫶🫶

[lakesbian]

haven't been posting quotes from book nine because im reading it on a phone and it's harder to copy paste but this one is so fucking funny. jake voice excuse me hello? a plan? a plan please? also (ax, calmly) i believe the smell is causing me to become deranged. cassie and tobias "...four of them are alive" interaction wasn't Supposed to be funny, but it was

[akgaereporter]

nct: sunflowers attacking dream over recent haechan live ☠

tldr: during haechan’s recent welive he said he permed his hair & dream "thought something was wrong" with it so he got it straightened again. some sfs/hc solos started losing their damn minds over that🤕 he also talked a lot abt music he wants to release and highkey called sm out, and all of this got the sunflower girlies real mad i guess..

so earlier haechan went live on weverse and was talking about dream's reaction to him perming his hair:

some sfs went kinda insane over this☠

like woah..? how did we go from 1 to 100☠ i cant even tell whos a solo, a unitzen, or a dream anti thats how bad it is..

and when dreamzens started ratioing these folk, this person said its hypocritical for them to say psychoanalyzing is weird when drmzens did the same to 127 with their constant coworker allegations

idk what they were tryna say here like okay..?? then yall both freaks☠

☆ my opinion

icl and say i’ve been keeping up w this 284828483 year old unitzen drama but i do remember the coworker allegations the last person was talking about, it got really bad at one point, however that doesnt excuse the INSANITY that is going on here. inserting urself into this big ole grown man’s relationships and acting like hes some kind of poor bullied people pleaser who can’t make any choices for himself is so crazy PLEASE wake up. if any of yall lewsers read past the first line of those translations youd see he agreed and said he also didn’t like the way the perm came out (bc the back was all curly and his bangs weren’t)☠️ imagine getting ur hair done and looking crazy, so u listen to ur homeboys and get it fixed but ur deranged 70 hour sceentime having ass fans start acting like they punched u unconscious, strapped u to a chair and straightened it themselves.. id smoke a pack the size of both koreas too if my stans were so insufferable like dont embarass me.. all y’all doing is exposing u have absolutely zero friends bc ive never seen a more normal interaction between groupmates☠️

but all this lowkey feels like a reaction to some of the things hc said concerning music/solo scheds during the live. its obvious that sm is in fact sabotaging him bc ur telling me 8 years in, as one of nct's strongest vocalists and a popular member, he hasn't released any proper solo music despite wanting to..??? and is still getting micromanaged this far into his career? if 2+2 is 4 um...

like i thought after a certain amount of time idols start having more of their own creative/appearance direction like with bts, seventeen etc. i guess it might be bc those groups make a lot self written music but still..? doesnt hyuck write music too? to have a star on ur hands like this and fumble is so crazy to me, theres no other explanation than they want him to stay local and not get too big for the brand since hes one of the centers in nct.

but girl bye.. if they let his fame grow, all they'd have to do is treat him properly and he wouldn't want to leave they wack ass company. they just dont want him to have a choice☠ now they got him on lock bc they dont know how to act right. im not condoning anything but i really do understand why so many haechan/nct solos in general exist.. it all starts & ends with sm's fuckassery cause if my biases got steady treated like garbage id get hostile towards ANYONE in and out of the group too like..

anyways had to wake this tea up🤕 haechan deserves better everything i fear. better company, better fans, but NOT a better group. he loves those boys down and all of them are highkey in the same boat but saying that on unitzentwt will get you SHOT. stay strapped in these streets..

[c l o s e t a b ?] ◀ ⇨ akgaepop.com

[franciskirkland]

so i have finally had it this time. not posting for attention but screaming into the void bc its all i can do. please don't click read more unless you're willing to hear some deeply gnarly/personal stuff. and please don't unfollow just bc you didn't heed my warning. this is a personal blog and there's a real live human woman behind the deranged hetaliaposting.

i now know for sure that i intend on ending my marriage. i can't leave yet, but i need to start planning for it. im done. its not worth it.

our first wedding anniversary is in a few days. i have always had thoughts in the back of my mind about us not lasting, but i didnt think it'd end like this, so soon. im embarrassed frankly.

we have had our share of problems both major and minor. but the final straw is that my husband has more or less assaulted me.

so there are more details below but i've been pretty sex repulsed (by irl sex) for the past... 10 months or so? we are not completely sexless but it's usually coercive, with my husband guilt tripping and pestering me for sex. usually i manage to get out of it, even if i do wake up to him rubbing up against me - that doesn't bother me too much.

but yesterday he was being particularly forceful and threatening me if i didn't start having sex with him again whenever he wanted. so he initiated the act. i kept saying no. no i cant. please stop. i dont want this. im gay. and he said no you're not. and he forced me to give him head while also grabbing my breasts and making me undress. i hate being naked. i nearly vomited. i feel disgusting and violated.

the thing is, that part about me being gay wasn't a joke or an excuse/defense. that was me refusing him. i have told him that i am attracted to women so many times and he doesnt even believe that's possible. like, that bisexuality is real. yeah. that hardly scratches the surface of his terrible beliefs and opinions. but i digress.

i don't know if i'm only sex-repulsed due to him getting me pregnant and the subsequent loss, (ruptured ectopic, almost died) which affected me permanently in a physical way and im undeniably also psychologically but i have yet to process that in its entirity.

i am definitely at least bisexual, if not gay. and possibly asexual/gray-ace or whatever. the only men i really feel attraction towards are fictional/purely ideas. seriously. i'm deeply affected by comphet. growing up i knew i was queer but i was also abused by many men as a teen so i guess i internalized it. somewhere down the road i also became really attracted to the idea of settling down and having a family. (i still am, but my priorities have changed the more i see older moms. im only 24, my friend didn't have her first until 34.)

anyway, regardless of my sexuality or lack thereof, aside from our numerous other problems (incompatible personalities, different ambitions, lack of common interests, him being an abusive controlling manbaby, overbearing MIL, living situation, etc.) i am repulsed by him and i cant be around him anymore. i hate him.

the mistakes i have made for/because of this relationship are of a devastating magnitude. i've burned a lotttt of bridges (not my mom, thank god) but with other family, friends and previous employers.

i'm a dummy. yeah. i'm not going to lie. i have invested almost 3 years and over $10k of hard-earned wages into moving to australia for a man who doesn't respect me. i have no income, no privacy, little irl support, because he's isolated me to the point where i'm not me anymore. the most i can hope for is to get a full time job, and/or write some more original stories and possibly get a book deal or self publish. it'll all go into a divorce fund. it'll likely take over a year before the prospect of leaving is financially viable. but i'm not even sure where to go from there. the economy is a disaster in america too.

i would really appreciate some company, i don't necessarily want to discuss what happened but it'd be nice to have someone to talk to as i navigate this. i love you all my friends and followers and readers <3

[vvh0adie]

highkey if this was real, they honestly wouldn't have to do this cuz our current one is apparently satisfactory enough

remember that army bomb vid situation that happened on twt ‘for yoongi’ a couple years back?

~~~~~~~

welp… we can only get more deranged from here

may i suggest a lingerie set next?

some cutesy chastity contraptions?

day of the week panties with a bow?

nipple and clit/tip piercings?

~~~~~~~

ngl these butt plugs lighsticks have their own mood indicators so thats nice

koya: 😌 (i believe god is a woman. i have been enlightened. pussy is love. pussy is life. this is definitely a portal to eternity? oh it feels like eternity and its love wont ever let me go? sign me up. im fine with not being forgiven because what im about to do to YOU?... uh yeah)

rj: 🙂 (sorry what did you say? i dissociated for a bit. im just gonna look at your face now. is that okay? actually excuse me im just finna turn away and scream internally now.)

shooky: 😜 (you already knew what was finna happen tonight babygurl. finna rearrange them guts. hollon i got a playlist for this. )

mang: 😳 (yooooo…where yo clothes at? huh? get naked? nah im good. mmh no, i dont think i wanna look below your face. aineen gon front, but i cant move. if this is a joke, its really something. like eh~ you got me. my nose bleedin'? its polly the altitude. heh heh... ca- can you call 911? i feel dizzy.)

chimmy: 🫤 (ooh baby nooooo. you should cover back up. yeah when i said lets go back to my place for ramen, i meant that literally)

tata: 😐 (bruh... Bruh... BRUH! i know you fuckin’ lyin’. mane grab yo shit and get out… actually you aight cuz imma head out instead. nah stay… just stay put. nah fam i dont need you to walk me out)

kookie: 😛 (aht- we getting naked? ngl i havent gotten laid in 7 years. i will literally fuck anything with a hole atp. just say the words. excuse me if i drool or cum too fast. please say yes. 🎶OPEN THE FLOODGATES OF HEAVEN!!!🎶)

[ordinary-funky-feline-type]

this year ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh h h h this year i did a lot of traditional art that i didnt post on the internet, and i've been delving in on my own characters and stories, some new, some old, some self-inserts based on games (At least three of them XD)

As per usual, i keep discovering new aspects of my brain, this year ive really shown myself how deranged i am, but, like in a new way. i guess put it that way it doesnt sound very different from usual. well, i thought i was different, turns out i'll keep on carrying the same patterns as always, always. it's interesting tho. im trying to learn to love myself. and, trust people (As always. Forever?).

THIS YEAR, i rescued two kitties... oh yeah thats true that was this yeearr??!?!??!? this was a long year. i took care of them for about two months, one of them had to have surgery, and i felt pretty proud of being able to pay it by myself, to have money that i can invest in a kitty's health (although i spent all the money i had on that XD). a relative of mine adopted the kitties and i get to see them every once and then =-3 i love them so much........ i love them...............

the political situation in argentina is really worrying too. mmeh, im even scared to talk about it publicly. the feelings i have are of such frustration, and impotence, and fear. i feel strong in my values and ideals, but im not sure how much worth that'll have in reality.

this year ive also solidified my love for jpegmaf-, sorry, excuse me, JPEGMAFIA ALL CAPS NO SPACES ='-3

this year was a snails and mantis year. and ants too. id like to propose a goal for myself this upcoming year: please scan all that traditional shit youve been doing XD its pretty good.

thanks for reading! follow my wife: @tightroots

goyeyygoyoyooggoyeyeyegoyegoyegoyeggggogoyenenenenenegoyenenechehechechechegoyegocehcehgoyecgogoyeneche

my cat Hebras:

and..

[stormyoceans]

i miss morkday 😔

YOU 🤝 ME MISSING THE SHIP FROM A SHOW THAT HASN'T EVEN AIRED YET AND THAT PROBABLY STILL WON'T UNTIL VERY LATE THIS YEAR

ANON YOU JUST GET ME!!!!!! maybe it's because there's no show currently grabbing me by the throat and making me experience vice versa levels of derangement, but these past few weeks I'VE BEEN MISSING MORKDAY SOOO MUCH LIKE IT'S HONESTLY INSANE JUST HOW MUCH I CAN MISS TWO CHARACTERS FROM A 4 MINUTES MOCK TRAILER. literally the only reason i care about the trailer reaching 1M views is because.. well, okay, it's also because jimmysea deserve it, but THE MAIN REASON is because im hoping it will give people the excuse to post some content about last twilight i mean we can't count on jimmysea BUT I KNOW P'AOF HAS BTS PICTURES AND CUT FOOTAGE SOMEWHERE IN HIS PHONE PLEASE I JUST NEED SOME NEWS SOME CONTENT ANYTHING

while we wait for that, though, let me share with you this small scenario i've been thinking of. i've mentioned it before, actually, so it's not exactly new, but i LOVE the idea of day hanging out in mork's garage while mork is working on some car, just the two of them talking and bickering about the silliest things. and i know that since the very beginning mork would be like 'if you're gonna stay here at least help me out' and use that as an excuse to make day touch all the tools he usually uses, describing them in details and teaching day their names and what they're for so he can ask day to hand them to him while he's working. at first day would probably tell him something like 'just take them yourself, im only gonna slow you down', but mork would reply that he is in no rush and patiently wait for day to find the right tool and pass it to him, until eventually it becomes a routine

the first time namtan's character shows up while day is there she almost does a double take because the place somehow looks so much brighter and livelier, and so does mork, which is why she takes exactly 0.2 seconds to clock into all the yearning happening there. she and day become fast friends and they usually just spend their time trying to embarrass mork as much as they can, until one day, after she's already left, mork's debt collectors show up. AND LOOK LISTEN maybe it's too dramatic and cliche, idk, but like!!!! the horror the desperation the fear the worry coming from both of them as mork does anything to protect day and day tries as best as he can to help mork but to no avail. in the end day manages to call the police which makes the debt collectors leave, and what's left is mork feeling guilty and day feeling impotent and the two of them trying to put themselves together: mork would insist on taking day home right away but day would stubbornly stand his ground and start touching mork to check for cuts and bruises, so mork just relents and lets day's fingers wander on his skin to put bandaids wherever makes mork hiss in pain. and they're gonna have to talk about what happened, sooner or later, but for now knowing the other is safe is enough

ANYWAY. MY TERRIBLE AND UNNECESSARILY LONG HEADCANONS ASIDE I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO OUTSELL EVERYTHING AND GET ME INVOLUNTARILY COMMITTED

[heeliopheelia]

hi demons it's me ya girl!! and ur fav number 1 stan of urs !! ✨ 😎😎

BRUH heeseung and jay best friend interactions was... Literally deserved jay for all the justifiable heeseung slander!!!

dumber dumb fuck hee 🤝 dumb fuck jay!!

BUT WAIT, IGNORING HEE IS SUCH A PUSSÉY MOVE YN WTF??

yn is the most deranged person ever? she is seung's soulmate fr also I LUV THE GROUP CHAT ENERGY 👏👏👏😌 😌 PLEASE KEEP GASLIGHTING HERRRRR

not the "fucking fuck shit i forgot to log into the other account" *disappointed sigh* HEESEUNG LOSING HIS SHIT PART 42069 he is gonna be bald soon MY MAN IS STRESSED every single chapter 😬😬

EXCUSE WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT SHE GONNA F WORD HIM NOW HELLO NIKI?! U CANT SAY STUFF LIKE THAT TO MENTALLY UNSTABLE PERSON!! oh ufff she won't fuck him just kiss him... WAIT WHAT?! HELLO?!!!!

BRO HEESEUNG WENT THROUGH IT ALL LIKE AND SO DID I WHAT DO U MEAN SHE JUST SAID ALL THAT ON TWITTER?? 🤭🤭🤭🤭

yeah they are both insane... insanely in love with each other 😳😘😇👉👈

anywayyy, nah im scared shitless cuz of my exams!! literally never felt worse BUT HEY THAT'S JUST LIFE 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 THANK U FOR A DOUBLE UPDATE THO, that was like super fucking cool!!! love uuuu for that, u did great, thank u ma'am xoxo

ps. i dont know if im capable of macarening(?) thorough my anxiety but i can try!! thank u for advice tho that's rly sweet 🩷🩷

PLS LOVE I WAS SO NERVOUS BEFORE MY FINALS I LITERALLY HAD RANDOM NOSEBLEEDS FOR LIKE AN ENTIRE WEEK SO I CAN RELATE I THINK 😭💀 But you're gonna do great on your exams, I'm a actually a prophet so trust me on that 💅

Ngl I lowkey felt bad for Hee while writing this chapter but oh well 🤷 we need to keep our boy on his toes 😈

You're gonna ace this shit babe so try not to worry too much (i know it's easier said than done tho 😀)!! Thanks for always being so sweet 🩷😭 MWAH MWAH 🩷

[britishassistant]

The Villainous Paranoiac Just Wants An Uneventful Holiday (Part 1)

This is not how you wanted to spend your break.

The school was supposed to be empty. Everyone except the Octavinelle trio was supposed to be gone.

Not to say you don’t enjoy your friends’ company but. No magic-using people means no magic-spewing overblots.

You were looking forward to just bringing the fairies their firewood and working on your winter homework while taking the first opportunity in a good long while to unwind with Grim and the ghosts. No investigations to worry about, no weird dreams to get worked up over, no overblots to frantically try and survive.

You wanted a break.

This? Marching 10km into the desert with the rest of Scarabia dorm for the third day in a row due to their leader’s looming psychotic breakdown? This is not a break.

Although...

There’s definetely something rotten in Scarabia dorm, you think to yourself as you watch Viper-senpai hand out skeins of water. Kalim-senpai had no problem using his unique magic yesterday, and yet today he acted like Grim had mortally insulted him when he asked for a repeat performance.

If the outburst had been after two or three other instances of Kalim-senpai using Oasis Maker and receiving what he felt were insufficient thanks for it, then his current attitude would make a little more sense. But taking umbrage after using it just once? And being universally praised by everyone else the rest of the day for it?

It doesn’t add up.

Even deranged behavior has some sort of internal logic to it, as Rosehearts-senpai and the Rules of the Queen of Hearts have taught you. Even with how nonsensical all 810 rules are, it’s rare to find a scenario where one rule actually conflicts with another— all of them usually work smoothly in tandem with the goal of having an orderly unbirthday party in mind.

Even if they do violate most forms of dignity and common sense.

Kalim-senpai’s behavior though? It’s erratic without rhyme or reason, bouncing from nice to mean and back again seemingly as he enters and exits a room. He insists you and Grim stay and participate in this asinine “training”, despite the fact that you both belong to a different dorm, and are technically rivals to Scarabia in Magift and exams.

If you didn’t know better, you’d say it’s almost like he’s trying to imitate Rosehearts-senpai before his overblot—and doing poorly at it.

And with how much Viper-senpai has been invoking parallels between the current situation and what happened back then...

The smartphone Crowley gave you is a cold, heavy weight in your pocket. Its charge ran out yesterday, which is unsurprising given how many times you dialed and redialed the dumb bird headmaster’s number only to be met with his voicemail. You can probably recite that stupid message by heart now. You’ve heard nothing from Ace and Deuce either.

One thing is clear; no one’s going to help you out of this mess but you.

“Kalim-senpai?” You brace yourself as you step towards him. “Can I ask you something?”

“What could you possibly question me about?” He barks, glaring down at you haughtily.

“Well, I was just wondering, what’s the point of all this?” You fight to keep your nerve as his posture stiffens. “I don’t mean any disrespect, none at all, but you do want everyone to do better in Magift and exams, don’t you? I was hoping you could explain to me how the parades and defensive magic training are supposed to do that. I apologize for my ignorance, I’m nowhere near as smart as you, but could you please tell me why we don’t just practice Magift and brush up on the class material inst—”

Your head’s ringing.

You think you hear faint yelling, though it sounds like it’s coming from somewhere far away.

Your cheek aches.

Numbness blooming into a sharp stinging throb that feels like it’s growing with every second that passes, burning hotter than the sun above you.

You cautiously poke your tongue against your teeth, but none feel loose, thank the Seven.

Damn, the desperate, near-hysterical thought flits through your head. Even a pampered rich boy like him has strength behind his hits, huh?

The rest of you is just trying to process what the Hell just happened.

“How. Dare. You?!”

Asim-sama looms over you, red eyes burning with fury.

It’s a fight to keep yourself from curling into a terrified ball under his gaze, tucking into yourself as though seeing less of you would abate the anger, the shouting, the hurt, like you used to when you were a child.

“You dare to question my methods, my leadership of this dorm?! You? A sniveling street rat leeching off my hospitality?! Do you know who I am?!” He rages. “I am Kalim al-Asim! I am the Head of this dorm! I don’t have to explain ANYTHING, justify ANYTHING to the likes of you!!”

You knew, you knew you were pushing your luck when you first asked, but you thought it would just be yelling, like it was before. You can handle yelling, nothing Asim-sama can say could ever be worse than what you’ve already heard.

You didn’t think he’d hit you.

You didn’t think he’d hit you.

You didn’t think—

“DON'T YOU TOUCH MY MINION, FGNAH!”

Your arm whips out almost on instinct.

You jolt forward slightly as Grim collides with it, hissing and spitting like he really was an irate cat, the flames in his ears flaring brightly enough that some detached part of you is worried about getting burned.

The other Scarabia students are reaching for their magic pens.

“Lemme at ‘im! Lemme at ‘im!!” Your friend howls, fighting to get past you. “Forget butt on fire, I’ll BURN IT TO A CRISP FOR HURTING MY MINION!! I'LL STEAL EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND SELL IT FOR LUXURY TUNA!! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR CROSSING THE GREAT GRIM—”

“No, Grim.”

Your friend halts in his flailing to stare uncomprehendingly at you. “But Yuu—!”

“It was my fault.” You say, trying to keep as much emotion out of your voice as possible. Tears and trembling only show weakness, only make them worse. “Asim-sama was just correcting me. He was right to do so. I shouldn’t have questioned him. I overstepped my bounds.”

Asim-sama sniffs. “At least you know your place. Be glad I don’t punish you anymore than this.”

“What?! He slapped you for asking a question, you can’t possibly believe—” You gather Grim into your arms and hug him close. You quietly thank the Great Seven you at least have him, trying to hide the quiver in your limbs by burying your face in his fur.

But that’s exactly why you can’t let him do this. It’s just the two of you, you can’t win against an entire dorm of wizards like you did against the ghosts. Maybe if Ace and Deuce and Jack were here...but it’s just you. You need to protect your friend in the only way you can. “We can’t win this. Please, Grim.”

You feel him grumble, then a paw carefully pushes at your forehead. “Hrm...I’ll show mercy for now, so geroff already. It’s too hot for you to keep hugging me like this, I’m cooking here fgnah.”

Despite saying so, he settles onto your shoulder, tail smacking your arm as it flicks irritably.

“If you’ll excuse me, Asim-sama.” You duck your head slightly. “I will remove myself from your sight and head back early as penance for my behavior. Once again, my deepest apologies for insulting you.”

Asim-sama gives you a curt, dismissive nod.

You turn and make your way through the crowd of Scarabia students, snatches of muttered conversations floating to your ears.

“How could he—?”

“Just for a question?”

“Isn’t that going too far...?”

“Unforgivable...”

“Prefect.” Viper-senpai takes you by the shoulder, turning you to face him. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” You reply monotonously, eyes on the sand below you. “Just...just need to be by myself for a bit.”

His lips purse and you can feel him study your face. He presses a full water skein into your hands. “Take this. Even if it’s not as cold as I’d like, it should help with the swelling some. Plus you need to stay hydrated out there.”

“Thank you, Viper-senpai.” You nod, keeping your eyes down.

“And Prefect?” He squeezes your shoulder, voice lowering only a fraction. “I am truly sorry about this. All of this. It will not happen again, you have my word.”

It would’ve been a nice apology, had you not caught a glimpse of a smirk on his face.

You nod, making sure not to outwardly react to that or to the way the whispers of the other Scarabia students turn from the condemnation of their dorm head to the exaltation of the vice dorm head. You begin following the tracks in the sand back to the main dorm.

The sun beats down on your back as you take a swig from the skein and pass it to Grim to drink from. He’s still grumbling about how you should’ve let him recreate his rampage at the entrance ceremony.

For your part, the distance and good company have let you pull yourself out of that headspace enough that you can try and look back objectively on what happened.

Your mind keeps circling back around to one question: why did Asim-senpai hit you?

Based on your interactions before this, Asim-senpai doesn’t seem to be the type to resort to physical violence as a first response, or even a last one. Which means something in your question likely backed him into a corner enough that the normally pacifistic dorm head felt lashing out physically was the only way to get you to stop.

...Like the fact that he couldn’t answer it?

Even when screaming abuse at you, his ultimate response was that he wouldn’t explain himself to you. Is that because he didn’t want to? Or because he couldn’t? Does Asim-senpai himself not know the reasons behind his own actions? But how can someone act without knowing or meaning to, without being under the influence somehow?

Under the influence.

People acted without knowing or meaning to thanks to being under the influence of Buchie-senpai’s Unique Magic during the Magift incident. But he went home, you saw him leave, so what...?

You pull out your notebook, flipping through the pages with sweaty hands until you get to your records of the testimonies from the incident. You scan through the testimonies from Scarabia students, hoping to find something, anything—

Oh.

Oh.

“Motherfucker.” You hiss, staring at the page in dismay. You are an idiot. You are the biggest idiot, you make Deuce look like a genuis, how could you forget about this?? It was only the key testimony that helped pinpoint Buchie-senpai and Savannahclaw as the culprits behind the injuries. And it explains so much— why you kept agreeing to stay here despite wanting to go back to Ramshackle so desperately, almost like your mouth was speaking without your consent.

“Minion?” Grim asks, pushing the water skein back onto you. “What’s wrong?”

You snap your notebook shut and slide it back into your pocket, taking another fortifying swig from the skein. “Grim? Think we can get back soon enough to work on the escape route in our room before the others arrive back for lunch?”

“If we pick up the pace a bit, yeah.” He hops back onto your shoulder. “But what’s the rush? We have all night tonight to work on it.”

“Let’s just say the sooner we can get out of here, the better.” You mutter, cogs and gears turning in your head as a tentative plan begins to form.

This is not how you wanted to spend your winter break.

[skzluvs]

Phobia; Han jisung

Genre: angst, fluff (if you squint)

Warnings: mention of nightmares

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: Hi! I’m back from my hiatus with another angst fic inspired by the drama it’s okay to not be okay combined with a little bit of phobia I hope you guys like it!

The girl who fed on nightmares

there was a girl who woke up every night by the nightmares, demons that haunted her dreams. She was twisted inside, held back by the painful memories of her past.

panting breath, irregular heartbeat, a cold sweat dripping from her forehand. she opened her eyes to meet with the darkness of her room. Terror washed over her. frightened.

"it's just another nightmare" she said trying to calm down the thoughts that were messing up her already deranged head.

a familiar setup, you might think she grew accustomed to the feeling after the third night but that's was not true the lingering feeling of numbness grew by the time she realized there was no escape from the chains that still cuffed her up.

the morning came earlier, with very few hours of sleep, she got up and got ready for work. the days turned into a monotone.

she arrived to bookstore, pure silence made her mind feel content. A moment of peace in the torrential rain.

"excuse me" a soft voice called her, almost as quiet as a whisper that's being shared between lovers.

she looked up to meet with a boy, with black hair and a mischievous smile, he looked cheerful with an undeniable strong aura that surrounded his slender figure, definitely not the type you would see in a library at 8am in the morning.

"yes" she replied politely to the boy who carried a handful on books on his arms.

"i want to check all of these out please" he placed the books on the counter.

As she took a look at the pile, she got intrigued by the peculiar selection.

children books.

but not the kind that you read to a child unless you want them to have nightmares, and she knew damn well about that.

"you like this gruesome stuff ?" she was never the kind to question other people's interests but for some strange motive she wanted to know.

" it's a children's book how can you call this masterpiece gruesome" the boy seemed rather offended by her words.

" the pictures make me want to cry my eyes out and I'm an adult, there's no way this book was targeted for such audience" she said

" it seems like you know nothing about this books not the author , therefore I won't be engaging in a discussion, you can continue to be ignorant later just let me borrow them so I can go" he said annoyed, taping with his finger on top of the dusty cover.

The girl refused to give out response and rather continued to do her job. she sure didn't get paid enough for that.

"here" she said handing him the books along with the returning slip. "you have 2 weeks to return them unless you want more time come before the deadline to extend the borrowing period"

"thank you" he left not sparing to look at her for the last time before exiting through the door.

the browned eyed boy who just happened to be named han jisung, she found out his name through his library card. Was all she could think about, not because she was interested, but because of the of his actions. Usually she evaded social situations, she found people not worth of her time, but there was something about that boy that made her wanted to crush him like a fragile butterfly with broken wings.

another meaningless night, it was tiring to get emptied out like that. Every time she closed her fears shaped into a reality. she was stuck with the phobia.

days passed by, a body that walks through the streets without a soul. There was nothing she wanted nothing she desired more but to fall asleep. So she lived her life longing for that moment.

going through the bookshelves placing them correctly by alphabetical order. A pair of eyes stuck to the back of her head.

a boy who watched her carefully from the other side of the room, and he probably thought he was being precautious, but she knew she was being observed.

Jisung. Who came everyday just to sit as far back from the main entrance as possible, hiding in a corner reading the books he so much loved. After the first encounter with the girl he could no longer sleep the same way. His thoughts circled around her small frame and the sound of her broken voice.

there was this thing about her, he called it despondency and he was drowned right into it. like the tales had taken over a human form.

by the end of the two weeks he stood there fidgeting, over the course of the last couple of days his little instigating got him nowhere. She repeated a daily routine, there was nothing to analyze in her vague movements and worn out expressions. However he knew she hides more than the human eye can perceive behind that weary facade.

The moment she clocked out he followed her outside.

"why are you following me" the girl stopped her tracks and made a spin over her ankles, just to meet with him.

"I needed to ask you something" He said rather shy. all the courage he build up over the weeks disappearing at the strong gaze that confronted him.

"I'm not obligated to respond, do me a favor and get lost" She turned around and continued to walk.

It was an expected reply exactly what made jisung decide it was better to come up with a different plan.

every day he would put a book of his collection on top of her desk hoping she would get interested enough to read it.

but instead she would just eye the cover and place it back to its shelf.

Not until one day she meet to something different, the book had a folded edge, opening the page carefully, her fingers ghosting over the words printed on the glossy paper.

"bad memories from the past that he wanted to erase from his head"

"were replayed in his dreams every night"

"and haunted him nonstop"

"the boy was terrified of falling asleep"

a creeping feeling went down her spine, and her trembling hands made the book fall. Her own monsters greeted her with a grin. Collapsing with the wooden floor.

jisung got petrified by the loud sound. He hurried his way to find the girl unconscious on the ground. it was all his fault.

a disturbing sound came from her mouth. She woke up in an oddly unfamiliar house. Her body covered by a thin blanket, the walls were closing like the screams that got caught up in her throat.

jisung who was downstairs making dinner ran through the stairs and opened the door alarmed at the high pitched noises.

"Are you okay?" He exclaimed trying to recover his breath.

"what am I doing here? where am i ?" she asked not trying to panic even more. She felt so dizzy the room kept on spinning.

"you're at my house, you passed out at the library" He said scratching the nape of his neck with guiltiness.

"I remember now, this was your deed, you and your stupid nauseating books" by the looks of it she had been gone for a while. Not to mention the longer she was in a slumber the longer the suffering.

"not my fault you got scared by a book for 5 year olds" He said shrugging, with an unprovoked expression.

"And you dared to call me an ignorant" she deadpanned.

"Do you fear anything?" He asked out of the blue.

what is the real meaning behind fear?. Fear is tangible. Is the anxiety, the desperation to run away and hide forever where they can't find you, it means to want to stab your eyes with a safety pin to blind the pain. Is the captivity of oneself.

"You're scared of yourself aren't you?" it no longer sounded like a question but more like an affirmation.

he had figured you out in no time. You couldn't let them see the vulnerable side, not to anyone and most definitely not this stranger.

"You said it yourself you know nothing so leave alone before it's too late" She threatened.

"Anyways I'm sorry for being so persistent, never intended to make you feel uncomfortable, I'll be downstairs if you need me, dinner is ready if you want to come and have something to eat before you leave" He knew it was better not to push it if he wanted answers.

But why was he so desperate to understand the world inside her head ?

Jisung felt the loneliness of her being. He came up to the conclusion that he wanted to be the person who brought the girl back to life.

After some time he grew a step closer to her, not to the point she would stop pushing him away but at least his efforts had made a very insignificant change.

She would let him read the books to her once in a while, she fed into the words, relating to every single one of them. But things were still the same at night, she would break down to the horrifying sight.

"Jisung why are you still here ?" she asked him unable to understand why the boy remained by her side even when she treated him like a piece of trash.

"Because im trapped under your spell" he confessed.

"You’re e going to end up in so much pain" she said looking into his eyes.

"You can't go to heaven before crossing the flames of hell" He responded with certainty. “ and If I have to burn I rather do it while still holding you”

"Would you still like me if you knew the kind of monster I am, not the one you read in books but the kind that hides behind a mask and transforms at night"

" I would still like you if you were the devil himself"

" The devil wont tear your soul apart like I would trust me" She knew she would drive him into despair. But she had warned him multiple times, from here she no longer take accountability, he would meet fear. She would make sure of that.

I'm stuck with the phobia although I want to stay with you I'm scared that you might disappear in between the shadows. How can I hold you when I was made to destroy you.

there was a girl whose world was a pitch black hole and her insides were dark and twisted, and a boy who fell in love with her repulsiveness swore to never leave her, but her darkness overshadowed the fugacious happiness of a spur moment and the voices in her head claimed that she was all alone. but the boy sang to her a lullaby that lulled her into a deep sleep and for the first time in forever there were no painful memories in her dreams.

She was the girl who fed on nightmares. The one he once read about and the one he was now holding on his arms.

[littlebitoffanfic]

He’s Busy

Fandom: House of Wax Characters: Vincent, Bo, Lester Relationship: Vincent/reader Request: Are you taking requests? If you are may I PLEASE have some more Vincent Sinclair? Anything would be great- Fluff smut even just headcanons. I absolutely love your writing!

 You could hear the brother fighting from inside the museum. They had been about to come inside, but the fight kept them stationary outside the front porch. Rolling your eyes, you stepped outside and saw Bo and Lester arguing as they got out the truck. Vincent follows, only seeming to be partly paying attention. But the second his eyes fall on you; you see his whole body react. The tension he had been carrying with hunched shoulder left him as he straightened up, walking taller and with more ease. His head, which had been tilted down, was now focused on you. You loved how he reacted when he saw you, as if in that moment you were the only thing in his world. He walked straight past his brothers and to you. You wanted to throw your arms around his broad shoulder and kiss him, but the wax mask prevented you from doing the latter. That didn’t stop him from scooping you up into his arms and carrying you inside, leaving the bickering brothers outside. You giggled in delight, cuddling in close to him and pressing light kisses up his neck. You hadn’t seen him all day, because they had all been chasing a group that had wandered too far down the rabbit hole. Lester said they had got them all but Bo disagreed, saying he had seen one other guy. not that you were paying much attention to their argument as Vincent carried you down into his work shop. Lester would probably hang about the town for a while, but Bo would head back to the house. You and Vincent would make your way back through the connected tunnels later in the evening.   He set you down on a table, standing between your legs as you reached up and removed his mask gently. The flesh beneath it was scared and disfigured, a harsh reminder of how close he had been to his brother at birth. It looked painful, even all these years later, but Vincent was adamant he didn’t get much pain from it normally, but it was more sensitive to things like strikes. He also didn’t speak much because the vibrations from his vocal cords can cause discomfort and forming words was more difficult for him. Every time you removed his mask, even after all these years together, you saw the falter in his eyes as he awaits your reaction. As if one day you’ll scream and run. But how could you run from the man you loved so dearly? Smirking, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. “That’s better.” You whispered to him before pressing a kiss to his lips. A shiver ran down his spin as he grabbed your waist, holding you with shaking hands and kissing back just as eagerly. You wrapped your legs around his hips, locking your heels. “Vincent!” Bo shouted down, commanding the attention of his brother. But Vincent kept kissing you. You weren’t sure if he hadn’t heard him because he was too lost in your affections, or if he just didn’t care. But when Bo shouted the second him, Vincent pulled away, rolling his eyes as he grabbed the mask back and pulled it on. You pouted your lower lip, refusing to unlock your heels but Vincent chuckled, and you were happy to lighten his mood so you let him go. He left the room to go upstairs as you hoped down from the table. you tried to tidy up, but in truth your mind was too preoccupied with your lover upstairs. You had spent most the day in the house, but came through the connecting tunnels to meet the brothers in town. You were so preoccupied, that you didn’t hear someone sneaking up behind you. A hand clamped itself down on your mouth as you felt something cold and sharp press against your neck. Whoever was behind you, they had the advantage. You could feel they were taller than you but judging from the way they were standing, they might be hurt. “Don’t make a sound.” He hissed in your ear, his hand tightening over your mouth. You nodded calmly, but your mind was racing. he must have been hidden in the wax museum and managed to find his way down here. “You’re going to get me out of here. Got it?” He hissed in your ear, and you knew better than to disagree with someone with a knife to your throat. He slowly let go of your mouth so he could pull open some draws. Perhaps looking for a weapon. Movement drew your attention to the stairs. Glancing, you saw Lester peering down. He looked alarmed. Lester wasn’t as use to the killing side of things as his brothers were, so in a moment like this, he was like a deer in headlights. The man, who was now preoccupied with rummaging, but the knife was still dangerously close to you. ‘get Vincent’ you mouthed to him, and he nodded, retreating to find his brother. You snapped your head back to the man as he tore through the draws. “Right, where do we go.” He demands, his hand grabbing your upper arm. “This way. It’ll lead to an old house on the outskirts.” You point to the tunnel. “Right.” He pulls you through, using you like some kind of human shield before you hit the dark patch. “what now?” “Theres some light switches at the end.” You tell him, pointing into the darkness. He pushes you into the darkness, and you cant see a thing. But you knew this area like the back of your hand thanks to Vincent.  Thankfully, the light and noise from the generator is a godsend when you manage to get to it. “Which one turns on the lights?” he demanded, pointing to the switches. A spark of genius hit. “That one. But its faulty so you have to flip it up and down quickly.” You pointed to one switch. Which was actually for the houses lights. The basement ran off a generator, so he wouldn’t see the lights flickering. he trusted you (bad decision) and did it a few times before panicking. “You lied!” he growled. “No I didn’t.” You moved in front of him, but instead of flicking the one you had originally pointed at, you did the one next to it. There were so many switches that he couldn’t tell you had moved along one and the lights in the tunnels flickered on. You were sure Lester had told Vincent and Bo, but this would tell them where you were in the tunnels. “Right, which way?” he demanded again, but your attention was caught by the sound of footsteps coming down the wooden stairs back where you had came from. Given the amount of times you and Vincent had almost been caught fucking down here, you had a knack for noticing the noises of the house. you just had to get back there. “Go down here and-!” You pointed straight ahead and when he followed your direction, you kicked the back of his knee. Hard. He buckled to the ground and you turned on your heel, running back. You made a mental note to thank Bo for the self defence lessons if you got out of this alive. “Vincent!” you screamed, not wanting him to hear the footsteps and surprise attack you thinking you were the man. As you came to his main room, you slid to a stop but end up loosing your balance and falling to the ground. You heard the man running to catch you, so you twisted and started to scrambled away. Until you saw the figure standing to the side of the door you had just ran through. Vincent. You smiled widely, but quickly dropped you smile when you heard the man approaching. He ran at you, the knife raised above his head in a deranged way. But the second he stepped through the door way, Vincent struck. Using a small knifelike instrument he normally used to carve the wax, he managed to catch the mans right thigh with it and he toppled to the ground. The man swung the knife, catching Vincent’s jumper but not his skin as Vincent wrestled the knife out of his hands. Once he had the upper hand, he used the butt of the knife to hit the man several times until he fell unconscious. You heard running coming from the tunnels and you nearly screamed (thinking it was someone else) until you saw Lester and Bo. They must have went back to the house to try cut him off. “You got him?” Bo’s eyes darted around the room for any further danger as Lester darted to you, helping you up. “You alright?” Lester asked, but you nodded your head. “yeah, im fine.” You confirmed, noticing how all three of the brothers were listening intently. “Good thing on not killing him.” Bo patted Vincent on the back before helping him up. “Think he needs a lesson.” Lester spat as he walked over to his brothers. “Oh, I have a few ideas.” Bo smiled menacingly as he told Lester to help him. Lester and Bo dragged the man through the hall and back to the house, and you were pretty sure he was going to wish he had had the wax treatment. Once they left, you turned your attention to Vincent. You were taking deep breaths as you stood, staring at Vincent who was panting. The blood spattered up side and the man had managed to tear his jumper in the fight. Vincent tore off his mask as if it were suffocating him as he turned to you, his eyes filled with fear and worry. It broke you. Running forward, you threw yourself into his arms, kissing him hungry. a growl escaped his throat as he clung to you, your legs wrapping around his torso as his large hands held you up. It might have just been an excuse to grope your ass but you didn’t care. He stumbled to the table, only placing you down so he could pin you down, pressing you against the surface with his body as he kissed you back. You didn’t know why you were so turned on by his actions, or why you needed to have him right here, right now. But you just did. In that moment, he wasnt just the gentle giant that you knew and loved, but his strength and brute force made your knees tremble and your insides turn, but not out of fear. You wanted to reward him for protecting you so well, you wanted him to know how much you wanted him in return. you were grateful for the hot weather and your choice to wear a dress (which was now up around your waist) as it allowed for easier access as Vincent grinds against the thin material of your underwear. “I knew I could count on you.” You smile at him, pressing your forehead against his own. He buried his face in your neck, kissing the area as he worshiped your body. Reaching between your bodies, you palmed his growing erection before grinning. “We should finish what we started earlier.” You giggle as your fingers skilfully undo his trousers and pull him out. He trembles under your touch. If it were any other situation, you’d like to take your time. To fully tease and pleasure him, but you needed to be close to him. he pulls back, standing straight as you sit up. Vincent pulls you to the edge of the table, his fingers hooking your underwear. You pushed yourself up as he kneeled to pull them off. His fingers danced back up your legs while pressing the occasional kiss to your knee or thigh before straightening up. He lined himself up with your entrance, pushing in with ease. you fall back, nearly seeing stars as you moan. As he thrusts into you, his whole body trembles. With a hand either side of your head, Vincent hunches over, his eyes shut tightly as he gives a few quick involuntary thrusts. you moan, overwhelmingly happy that he was inside you again. It had been a week since you had last been intimate with him and you had been bouncing off the walls the last few days. But Vincent was quick to start slowly fucking you. “Vincent.” You moan, noticing how he trembled at your voice as you grip his jumper. Leaning up, you press your lips to his own. One of his arms slipped under you and held you close. In a perfect world, you would have all your clothes as well as his own off. But you didn’t have the time or the patience to do such things. “Fuck.” You whisper through gritted teeth as he picks up the pace. Normally, Vincent was gentle and slow during sex. You were normally the one who initiated a fast speed or asked for him to fuck you harder. Yet it seems he needed the same thing as you. His hips snapped against your own, building the speed as he stood back up, his hands now grabbing your hips. you saw his mouth hanging open, his eyes focused on your most intimate area as he let out harsh breaths. Pushing yourself up, you wrap you arms around his neck and kiss him deeply. Vincent groans against your lips, making you answer with your own mewls of pleasure as his thrusts became quicker and quicker. “oh, god. Vincent.” You moaned as you pulled back for air. You could feel your orgasm fast approaching and judging by his own grunts and groans, so was his own. you pulled him back down as you lay back, loving the feeling of his body on your own. His fingers were digging into your sides with painful force but you didn’t care as he hunched over your body. it only took a few more thrusts before you came. You threw youre head back, moaning his name as you locked your legs around his torso. Your whole body trembled beneath his own, your walls pulsing as Vincent struggled to contain himself, his face now buried in your neck. He failed and came inside you with a low growl. Vincent manged to catch himself on one arm before he collapsed onto you completely. By the time you could move, Vincent pull his face back, panting as you were. you gave him a lazy kiss, your body still getting small after shocks from your orgasm. “Hey! What we doing with this guy? Vincent!” Bo shouted down the tunnels, making you both jump. But you weren’t ready to share him just yet. “Hes busy!” you scream back, glaring at the tunnels and daring Bo to come right along here. There was a moment of silence before you heard chuckling as someone walked away and the door closing. Vincent shook his head, smiling as he lay gentle kisses up your neck. He pulled back and out of you. You whimpered at the loss but sat up nevertheless. Vincent tucked himself away as he walked to grab his work chair. Pulling it back, he sat down in front of you, reaching out to stroke your leg lovingly. Smiling, you slid off the table and right onto his lap, curling into him as his arms wrapped security around you. “I love you so much.” You whispered, pressing soft kisses to his good cheek. “I love you.” He breathed, and you immediately smiled widely. He didn’t speak much, if at all. And you knew he loved you because he showed you. But this meant so much to you.

[chaoticdisater]

Red white & royal Blue Favourite quotes

“How many times do I have to tell Y’all not to discuss your murder plots in front of a sitting president” their mother interrupts “Plausible deniability. Come on” (Pg 64) 

I don't know WHO you think you're kidding, you Hufflepuff-ass bitch, (Alex to henry over text pg 69) 

“‘put the turkeys in my room’  ‘No.’ ‘put them in my room, put them in my room, put them in my room -’  later that night as Alex stares into the cold pitiless eyes of a prehistoric beast of prey, he has a few regrets” (Alex and his mother Pg 76) 

“’he- Oi! Not for you Mr.wobbles! those are mine!’ more rustling and a distant offended Meow, ‘no, Mr. wobbles you bastard!’” (Henry at his sister's cat, pg 80) 

“Dec 8, 2019, 8:53 PM  yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe HRH prince Dickhead  I BEG YOU TO NOT “ (Henry and Alex over text Pg 84) 

“’ the options Id like...’ he says dragging the words out. ‘they don't quite seem to be options at all’” (Henry Pg 107) 

“’ christ you're a thick as it gets’ he says and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him.” (Henry Pg 107) 

“‘Seventy-eight percent probability of latent Bi-sexual tendencies. one hundred percent probability this is not a hypothetical question’” (Nora pg 118) 

“‘am I? do you think I'm Bi?’  ‘I can't tell you that Alex!’ she says ‘that's the whole point!’” (Alex and Nora Pg121)

“she slants a look at him ‘is this a diabolical scheme of seduction?’ she asks ‘if so, yes.’“ (Nora Pg 130) 

“Alex knocks the candelabra off the table next to them and pushes henry onto it so hes sitting with his back against - Alex looks up and almost breaks into a deranged laugh - a portrait of alexander hamilton.” (Pg 132) 

“‘im going to die’ henry says helplessly.  ‘im going to kill you,’ Alex tells him.” (Henry and Alex pg 133) 

‘”and if you fucking ghost me again, I'm going to get you put on a fucking no-fly list. got it’” (Alex at henry pg 134) 

“worst of all, Henry is good“ (Alex's thoughts on henry playing Polo Pg 147) 

“’I’m gonna go, Uh’ Alex says ‘say hi to henry’ Amy's mouth settles into a grim line ‘Please don't elaborate’ ‘Yeah I know’ Alex says ‘plausible deniability’” (Alex and Amy Pg 148) 

‘A <agcd@eclare45.com>  to Henry  his royal highness prince of whatever,  Don't make me learn your actual title’ (Alex’s email to henry Pg 152) 

‘Henry <hwales@kensingtonemail.com>  to A Alex, first son of inappropriately timed Emails when I’m in early morning meetings’ (Henry’s email to Alex Pg 155) 

“when he shows up to a briefing two days later Zahra grabs his jaw with one hand and turns his head, peering closer at the side of his neck. ‘is that a Hickey’ Alex freezes. ‘I . . . um, no?’” (Zahra and Alex pg 162) 

“‘Do you have a last name?’ Alex has never actually offered a greeting when calling Henry  ‘What?’ the usual bemused elongated one-syllable response” (163 Alex and henry over the phone) 

“‘Baby’ its become a thing: Baby he knows it’s become a thing. hes slipped up and accidentally said it a few times, and each time, Henry positively melts” (Alex Pg 166) 

“‘I miss you,’ Alex says before he can stop himself he instantly regrets ut but henry says. ‘I miss you too’” (pg 173) 

“she flung her arm out emphatically enough to upset an entire potted cactus on her dresser and says ‘Because until now you weren't fucking the prince of England’” (June pg 177)  

“‘you should try saying some of that stuff to Him’  ‘stop trying to Jane Austen my life’” (June and Alex Pg 180) 

“’ is now a good time to point out henrys very hot Very rich best friend is basically in love with you?’ Alex says to June ‘hes like some kind of billionaire genius manic-pixie-dream philanthropist. I feel like you would be into that.’ ‘Please shut up,’” (Alex and June Pg 182)  

“‘yes, yes, Pez, we know there's nothing you cant do,’ says henrys voice off-camera ‘no need to rub it in’“ (henry Pg 184) 

“‘oh I haven't had vodka since uni,’ henry says ‘it tends to make me erm, well-’ ‘flamboyant?’ Pez offers. ‘uninhibited? randy?’  ‘Fun?’ Bea suggests  ‘Excuses you, I am loads of fun all the time! I am a Delight’“ (Henry Bea and Pez pg 190)

“’yes Beatrice, we shall behave in a manner befitting the crown,’ henry says. his eyes are slightly crossed ‘don't be a tosser’“ (Henry and bea Pg 195) 

“He likes taking henry apart but there's something incredibly intantament about sitting on the bed they wrecked the night before, the only one who watches him create Prince Henry of Wales for the day.” (Pg 200) 

“‘So this is the gang now, huh?’  and through it all, Alex realizes with a start: he has friends now.” (Cash pg 201) 

“How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose?” (Henrys email to Alex pg 203) 

“yours in sexual frustration  Henry” (henrys email to Alex pg 206) 

“once again, how had he ever convinced himself he was straight,” (Alex pg 213) 

“‘just so we’re clear,’ Alex said ‘Im about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like that's what's happening?’“ (Alex pg 217) 

“your Brave I could use some of that” (Pg 218) 

“Because that's what he would do if he were here in this palace to fall in love Henry” (Pg 220) 

“Zahra doesnt even look up from her phone ‘that was my boyfriend and no, you may not ask me any further questions about him’” (Zahra Pg 223) 

“If he’s some anonymous normal person removed from history he’s twenty-two and he’s tipsy and he’s pulling a guy into his hotel room by the belt loop. He’s pulling a lip between his teeth and he fumbling behind his back to switch on a lamp and he’s thinking I like this person”  (Pg 228)

“You still are. Because you still bloody care so much.” He leans down and presses a kiss into Alex’s hair. “And you are good. Most things are awful most of the time but you’re good” (Henry Pg 230)

“’Seriously?’ She hisses ‘your literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state who is a man at the biggest political event before the election in a hotel full of reporters in a city full of cameras in a race close enough to fucking hinge on some bullshit like this like a manifestation of my fucking stress dreams and you’re asking me not to tell the president about it?’” (Zarha pg 233)

“The next slide is titled EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE ENGLAND? she apologizes for not having time to come up with better titles Alex activity wishes for the sweet release of death” (Pg 237)

“History huh? I bet we could make some.” (Alex’s email to henry Pg 241)

“The pair of you share and an alarming number of traits by the by: passionate determination, never knowing when to shut up, &c &c,” (herny’s email to Alex Pg 242)

“Regards Haplessly romantic heretic prince henry the utterly daft” (henrys email to Alex pg 243)

“‘It’s math,’ Nora says ‘Math has no authority here,’ June tells her ‘Math is everywhere June’” (Nora and June Pg 247)

“Henry is tipsy and shirtless and attempting to referee” (pg 252)

“’Some times you just jump and hope it’s not a chiff’” (Alex dad Pg 256)

“Well, Alex is so in love he could die.” (Pg 257)

“He’s been falling in love with Henry for years probably since he first saw him in glossy print on the pages of j14 almost definitely since Henry pinned Alex to the floor of a medical supply closet and told him to shut the hell up.” (Pg 257)

“’Fuck off five nine is average’” (Pg 258)

“’H?’ He whispers ‘you awake?’ Henry sighs ‘always.’” ( Pg 260)

“He’s got a distinct feeling of something being pulled out of his hands right before he could grasp it.” (Pg 263)

“something rises in Alex's throat - anger, confusion, hurt, bile. Unforgivably, he feels like he might cry” (Pg 270) 

“’Fuck I swear you don’t make it fucking easy but I’m in love with you’” (Alex Pg 271)

“’I never thought I’d be stood here faced with a choice I can’t make because I never ... I never imagined you would love me back’” (Henry pg 273)

“He’s in Henry’s face now if he’s getting his heart broken tonight he’s sure as hell going to make Henry have the guts to do it right ‘tell me you're done with me. I’ll get back on the plane. that's it. and you can live here in your tower and be miserable forever, write a whole book of sad fucking poems about it, whatever just say it’” (274)

“He’s in stupid unbearable love and Henry loves him too and at least for one night it matters, even if they both have to pretend to forget in the morning” (Pg 275)

“He tells his too fast brain: don’t miss this time he’s too important” (Alexs thoughts Pg 275)

“henry’s hands-on him are unhurried and soft and they make out lazily for hours or days.” (Pg 280) 

“Alex sighs ‘i don't think I told you but she uh. well, when she fired me she told me that if I wasn't a thousand percent serious about you. I need to break things off.’  Henry nuzzles his nose behind Alex's ear ‘a thousand percent?’” (Alex and Henry Pg 282) 

“‘Diaz you insane hopeless romantic little shit’ says the voice of the president of the united states, muffled in the bed ‘it had better be forever. Be safe’“ (Pg 284) 

“hes cut off mid-sentence because Alex has stopped in the middle of the corridor and yanked him backwards into a kiss” (pg 286) 

“’its funny’ henry says ‘i always thought of the whole thing as the most unforgivable thing about me but you act like its one of the best’“ (henry Pg 289) 

“he takes the chain off his neck and slides the ring on next to the old house key. they click together gently as he tucks them both under his shirt, two homes side by side” (Pg 291) 

“I opened my blasted mouth and said ‘because I'm not like the rest of the men in this family beginning with the fact that I'm am very deeply gay Philip’  once shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier Philip had quite a few words for me,” (Henry’s emails to Alex Pg 298) 

“just leaving, not coming back. maybe burning something down on the way out. it would be nice.” (henrys emails to Alex pg 299)

“I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire” (henrys emails to Alex (describing how he felt when he first saw Alex) Pg 300) 

“20. the fact that you have loved me all along.” (alex’s email to henry (the list of things alex loves about henry) Pg 303) 

“‘Oh my god Z what is That? did you get engaged?’  Zahra looks down at the ring and shrugs. ‘i had the week-end off’” (June and Zahra pg 305)

“’you and me and history, remember? were just gonna fucking fight. because your it okay? Im never gonna love anybody in the world like i love you,’“ (Alex pg 312) 

“‘I swear to god if you say I'm too young I'm gonna lose my shit,’“ (Alex pg 315) 

“What did he do ‘be more specific’“ (Alex to Zahra pg 321 ) 

“’the president is sitting down with as many members of the office of communitcs we could drag out of bed at three in the morning’” (Zahra Pg 323) 

“‘pack a bag’ she says ‘we’re going to londan’” (Zahra Pg 334)

“she (Zarha) seems confident Shaan will agree to it and willing to physically overpower him if not.” (pg 334) 

“still the cocky shit head part of him is slightly pleased to finally have claim on henry. Yep, the prince? Most eligible bachelor in the world? British accent face like a greek god, legs for days? Mine” (Pg 336) 

“‘youre giving my ulcer an ulcer’“ (Zahra pg 336) 

“‘Im running on nothing but black coffee, a wetzels pretzel, and a fistful of B12. Do not even breathe in my directrion,’“ (Zahra Pg 339) 

“He leans up and kisses the underside of his jaw, finding it rough from a full fitful day,” (pg 340)

“‘What kind of family, that says we’ll take the murder, we’ll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, well scrub it up nice and neat in a museum but oh no you’re a bloody poof? That’s beyond our sense of decorum’” (Henry pg 347)

“Bea seizes the pot of tea from the center of the table and dumps it into his lap ‘Oh, I’m terribly sorry Pip’ she says grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him sputtering and yelping toward the door ‘so deardfully clumsy, you know I think all that cocaine I did must have really done a job on my refexes!’” (Bea pg 357)

“Henry pulls Alex close and kisses him whispers, ‘I love you I love you I love you’ and it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if anyone sees.” (Pg 358)

And that’s when I gave up I do have more but well I didn’t want to make this list any more

[bazz-a]

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

TELL US EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR GENIUS WRITING PROCESS PLEASE

OMG ANON IM GONNA BLUSH EHDJXHSHF

well right at this moment I am drunk (yes I know it's been 12 hours since I've been drunk the last time but I received bad news so that's my excuse) and WRITING, so that's tip number 1!!!!!!!

jk that's not a tip (except that it kinda is........ now that I think about it I really like drinking wine while I write, especially hot and heavy scenes ((🥸👀)) )

but ok ok ok writing process!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm very chaotically organised in life as a whole but I think that doesn't really apply to my writing.....? I'm have many self-reflecting moments as I answer you and surely the wine is helping

I'm gonna insert gifs everytime I paused to think a lot ok

ok so. as for organisation skills, I have a folder on google drive for the fic and each chapter is a different document. I also have a different document for the outline + backstory of the characters.

as for the outline, I decided to do it when I was on ch21. up until that point I was just making it up as I went but that was when I was like ok NO that's enough you crazy bitch you need to know how this shit is gonna end, so I sat down and I wrote the topics of chapter by chapter

but ANOTHER TIP IS THAT!!!!! things not always go according to plan lol

I'm already deviating from my outline right at this very moment as I write ch25! like, it's nothing major that's gonna change anything in the future but yk how it goes, I drank some wine, put Sakura and Kakashi in a particular situation that wasn't in the plans, and the rest is just happening (don't ask don't ask don't ask HAHFJZJSHDJS YOU'lL SEE WHEN I POST)

OH OH OH THATS ACTUALLY A GOOD POINT ANON OK! OK LETS GO

let your characters act for themselves!!!!!!!! that sounds like CRAZY talk coming from this drunk bitch but I swear it isn't, hear me out ok!!!!! sometimes your characters are just gonna lead you somewhere, and even if it wasn't what you were planning, let it happen!

this happened in ch17 for me! I wasn't planning on the bench situation, actually what was gonna happen is that they would talk and then leave, and their first kiss was gonna be on the next day! but then the bench thing just happened and I'm really happy it did

so yeah, let your characters lead the way when they feel like it

god I sound absolutely deranged

let me see what else

I can't believe so far my advice has been "drink and let the fictional characters speak to you"

WHAT ELSE!!!!

ok so I guess it's good to know yourself!!! like for example, I know a lot of people set goals on themselves. I don't do that, I'm a person that always leaves deadlines to the last possible minute bc I thrive under pressure and that's when I function best, so I know that adding goals wouldn't increase my productivity, it would just make me push it away until like a day before the deadline I set on myself so that I'd just spend 21 hours writing nonstop to meet the goal

so that doesn't work for me! but if you're a person who needs organisation and stuff like that to function, it'd be nice to give it a try!

also, I try to respect myself as much as I can. sometimes you just don't feel like writing and that's ok! it's tough when there's pressure to update and all but it's better to wait and then deliver a good product then rush through it when you're not feeling it

ALSO! you need to enjoy yourself! you're writing for yourself above anything else, and you need to enjoyyyt itttttt 🥰🥰

ok I think that's it......... I hope this answer was good lol thanks for asking, Anon!!! 💚