#im just imagining a version of it thats more fucked up and better written and also with less generic alternate-europe worldbuilding

[rolandapostatize]

cannot get over how theodore 7th time loop is written actually. 13 year old's suicidal tendencies resolved by having polite conversation with the person he loves most and whom he was doing all that for, and who has never before in his life clearly communicated with him at all, and who due to his own emotional immaturity decided that the best way to protect his desperate younger brother is to never talk to him and act as terrifying as possible around him. one unwell child eliminating another unwell child's problems, that he was contributing to, in a single conversation

like i cant get over how quickly the conflict was introduced and resolved.

[thebatbites]

disclaimer: i have no genuine hatred/contempt for jess or jason! i am just very, very angry!

i hate how every guy in mystreet is obsessed with aphmau. like it pisses me off SO much. like okay. i get garroth, laurence, and aaron because you know THEY WERE HER LOVE INTERESTS IN MCD but dante??? travis???? brendan (for the literal slightest bit that he was here)??? three people who did not show any romantic interest her besides small (insignificant) crushes, that didnt go beyond playful flirtation and/or quick things that dont go deeper beyond surface level.

and i know mystreet was written in tandem with pdh but it doesnt make sense that they would include a wholesome friendship with travis and aphmau and then turn around and have them turn around to be strangers and travis flirting with her because he has an interest to her (but does... but does he actually??? or does he just like her because shes pretty like???)

thats why i like zanemau (as i will ramble abt in another post) so much because i was rooting so HARD for zane because he does flirt with her occasionally but its always backed up with a joke and he never showed any romantic interest for her. HE BECAME HER FRIEND FIRST. HE BECAME HER FRIEND FIRST. HE BECAME HER. FRIEND. FIRST.

and ofc im going to have the whole group genuinely become friends first but in mystreet it PISSES me off

and on top of that, they treat her like a prize to be won. which makes me mad because their mcd counterparts would. NEVER.

ive never talked about it here but all of the guys (excluding zane and vylad) took the biggest brunt of the character assassination tirade that jason (jason. not jess. jason. i have a firm belief that jason was a bigger contributor to mystreet than jess) went on to reduce all of the characters to cheap knockoffs and unfunny flat, static characters. while their mcd characterizations werent perfect, theyre LEAPS and BOUNDS better than their mystreet variations

and you want to know why? because they probably sat there and looked at the original version of mystreet (and mcd season 2) and said "damn, aaron is a fucking boring character" because he IS. compared to the vast majority of the characters in mystreet and mcd, aaron is largely uninteresting! in mystreet he has no real motivations. no drive, no friends, no job (that we hear about) and we never see aaron and aphmau hang out UNLESS its a scene where garroth and laurence over-fucking-react to aphmau having friends (oh god forbid the woman have male friends!) and sure he has the ultima thing going for him but we never even start hearing about that until mystreet season 3 (and pdh season 2)

and in mcd hes even worse! hes just some (probably musty) dude who came out of nowhere and saved aphmau from werewolves and has a vendetta against zane (surprise surprise, look around fucko! you arent alone, the entirety of rua'an has an axe to grind against the fucker!! get in fucking line!!). hes even LESS interesting than mcd aaron because he legit has NOTHING GOING FOR HIM. he never even made conversation with aphmau unless she was being a damsel or they were alone!!

you know doki doki literature club? when monika starts fucking around with the character files and pumped all of the girl's worst, most undesirable traits to max to make herself appear more likeable to the mc? i imagine that was jason's idea to make the boys look terrible and aaron look like a hero.

also side note: the fact that jason looks nothing like aaron weirds me the fuck out. like aphmau is obviously jess' self insert with similar hair, skin, and eye color but aaron looks nothing like jason aside the color of their fucking eyes. wack.

anyway thats it. sorry its taking me so long to update any of this, ive been trying to you know do this whole "self care" shit. its been working really well but ive been spending less time online as a result! but im working on my notes and im trying to figure out how i want to write this out! i dont have the time to write a comic book but i was thinking about writing and posting it on ao3!!! what do you think?

anyway, thats all for now. toodles!

[technicallyelegantkitten]

sigh

imma say smth whiny again so plz ignore, im emo lately

my biggest pet peeve in any fandom is hypocrisy but my second biggest one is extremism

idk, ive been reading a lot of "deruth isnt as bad as other dads so he did NOTHING wrong" type defenses lately and... no?

i freely admit that deruth isnt the worst father in existence but he's not perfect either?? he has messed up, he has (accidentally) caused serious harm to his child through poor parenting skills and tbh he's just a bit dumb and shortsighted

ofc i dont care for the reverse either, "deruth is not the perfect dad therefore he's the worst most evil scum imaginable" but i tend to prefer this version even though its more ooc and i deeply dislike ooc content

theres just smth abt saying “he’s not actively trying to kill his child like other fathers so he’s the perfect dad” that srsly skeeves me out. I think its bc its the excuse thats made for a lot of real life abusers (i wouldnt say that deruth is necessarily an abusive person but he has done things that are irresponsibly harmful towards his children) and seeing that excuse just makes my skin crawl

“You shouldnt be upset, your dad didnt beat you unconscious so he’s not abusive” or “he doesnt hit you so everything else he does is justified” and so on and so forth. Its just a personal preference of mine, but despite my dislike for ooc content, if im forced to choose between ooc and abuse apologetics, im going to choose ooc

But thats the main problem. I dont see why there needs to be any extremism in any direction. Deruth doesnt need to be written as an irredeemable monster for him to be a deeply flawed parent but he also isnt a fucking saint who needs to be protected at all cost. Idk, when i see these conversations it just feels like it murders nuance

I mostly lurk cuz i dont have a lot of confidence in socializing with ppl but sometimes i’ll just be lurking and i’ll see smth like “i HATE how ppl bash deruth, he’s an AMAZING father” and then a bunch of ppl replying to that with agreement that lacks any nuance. Again, to be fair, there are plenty of ppl who make the opposite argument to an uncomfortable extreme, but at least there arent any abuse apologetics in deruth bashing

All of that said, i am not saying that i think that ppl who engage in those extreme debates abt deruth are bad people or they support child abuse or anything else insanely over the top like that. Frankly, ppl can enjoy fandom however it makes them happy. If it makes them happy to defend deruth to their dying breath, you do you dude, have fun. Im just stating that i am personally a person who is deeply uncomfortable with reading abuse apologetics

But moreso than opinions like “deruth did nothing wrong! He’s the perfect dad! He never did any irresponsible parenting cuz there weren’t any bruises!” i am even more deeply uncomfortable with blaming og cale for deruth’s poor parenting. Now if you’ve read any of my fics, you might notice that while i rlly like og cale, i think that his behavior is shitty. He had noble goals but much like his father, he was too short-sighted and stupid to actually help his family properly and the things he did would have made being his parent an absolute nightmare

One of my favorite fics that i wrote has an entire plot centered around cale needing to realize how harmful and toxic his behavior was and start himself on the long and painful path towards growth and improvement. I think that cale has potential to be a better person than he is but no matter what, even if he was faking every second of it, the shit he did was fucked up and he hurt a lot of people through his thoughtless foolishness

So if i think that cale is such a flaw character, why would i dislike it when people blame deruth’s poor parenting skills on the difficulty of raising a child as explosive and irrational as cale?

Very simple reason. Cale isn’t the parent. And the majority of cale’s misbehavior happened before the age of 18. The concept that a literal child with clear trauma is supposed to be the one who’s mature enough to make things better and shouldnt have been a difficult teenager just makes me feel gross

This is when the abuse apologetics start dipping the toes into victim blaming. If my understanding of the canon lcf timeline is correct (it might not be, lcf timeline is a bit hard to understand sometimes), cale lost his mother at 8 and started acting like trash to protect his step brother around the age of 10. A child. He was a child. Not even a teenager. A very small and stubborn child.

Ron stated in the sidestory that cale was quite similar to ohn when he was a child. Specifically while referencing how ohn will try hard to seem mature even when she’s scared or worried about the people she loves. The sort of child that tries to hide their pain so that other ppl can be taken care of instead. Ron is an unreliable narrator so its dubious how accurate this is but for me, it makes sense with cale’s character

I feel like people see 18 year old cale acting like trash and they think he was 18 yrs old for the last ten years. Nah dude, he was 8. Hell even at 15 when he started drinking, 15 is a really young age. Instead of blindly endorsing cale’s misbehavior by giving him money and supporting him irresponsibly, deruth needed to be a real parent to the boy. but instead he chose to do what he always does (even in lcf) throw money at the problem in hopes of making it go away

I have a lot more thoughts on deruth and cale and criticisms of both their personalities (and just how much cale really does take after his father) but that would derail further from my point. My point is that blaming a traumatized child for being a difficult child to parent is just… not it. Ive helped raise enough problem children to know EXACTLY how hard it is to raise a child like cale but just bc he’s hard to raise, it doesnt mean you just throw money at him and ignore the real problems

(also never get me started on how much it upsets me that no one, not a single person in cale’s life, realized that he had been possessed. It’s not like roksu did a flawless job impersonating cale. He didnt. His attempts to act like trash were cute in comparison to cale’s quite convincing act, but no one noticed and im the most upset at deruth abt this bc out of *everyone* i feel very strongly that his father should have noticed)

Anyway, this is a lengthy and foolishly thought out way of saying it makes me deeply uncomfortable to read blind defense of deruth’s character. Im not saying he’s an abuser, he isn’t in my opinion, but he is a *deeply* flawed parent who has done abusive things to his child, even if those things were unintentional. That said, if deruth apologetics are what make you happy, enjoy yourself. Im just not personally comfortable with the way those defenses often mirror abuse apologetics and victim blaming in real life situations.

(again, to be clear, i do NOT think that ppl who defend deruth are victim blaming abuse sympathizers. I think that they have an opinion of a fictional character that i disagree with and my reasons for disagreeing make it uncomfortable for me to read their opinions. That said, im also not saying that there isnt something morally wrong abt making deruth the most abusive scumbag on the planet bc i think that also tears away the nuance of how subtle and insidious abusive neglect can truly be. BUT ultimately i would prefer to read a removal of subtlety rather than arguments that appear uncomfortably similar to abuse apologetics)

[thesolotomyhan]

ramon arellano felix as a dad would include

a/n: heyy mis carinos youre favorite clown is back with something none of you guys asked yet here i am sharing this with you all i was soft but also because i havent written anything for my arellano boys in a minute and i got inspired wow anyways i hope you guys enjoy my desmadre

taglist: @fandomnerd16​ @visintaes​ @sheeshgivemeabreak​ @artemiseamoon​ @umvirgo​ @redhairedace 

let me know if you want to be tagged! 

ok right off i want to mention ME MUERO imagining ramon with the mini versions of himself

like he would be the fun dad thats always playing with his kids and always wanting to be around them constantly :(

but also my heart hurts imagining this ball of emotions being so happy about having kids with you

like i cant with the thought of him in the very moment you tell him youre pregnant-

like this soft ass moment where hes just in disbelief,, holding your face- “embarazada? de verdad princesa?”

i just- him being so excited,, wanting to hear you say it again and again before he picks you up from so much excitement :((

wow would not even hold back before hes already walking you both over to announce it to all his siblings :(

and like enedina would be the most excited because you know she would :( and i just have a feeling dina is going to go all the fucking way to be the consentida aunt :((

wow? um she definitely gives me the vibes of her always being around you to make sure your ok,, making sure you and her little niece/nephew have everything available to you within arms reach-

because she adores you with mon :(

but also ramon being constantly worried about you when hes not with you even tho he knows youre the safest person breathing in mexico

and because he knows dina is there with you all the time puts him a little at ease-

like omg if something,, even the slightest look,, happens to you or your kid, he would shoot up all of tijuana becasue no one touches his familia- his overprotectiveness goes through the roof- i

i am crying at the thought of him always kneeling down and talking to your stomach,, like that is a daily thing he does all the time-

like :(( imagine him doing it right after you told him your pregnant or something :( i-

no but also because the very fucking moment he knew about his kids existence in you,, he would give up his crack usage :/

todo porque he wants to be the best dad figure for his kids :((

like he vows to that shit even more once he had his kid in his arms- excuse me let me go cry,,

im sorry this is supposed to be a dad hc yall im starting to get carried away-

BUt WOw i cant even explain the way i go soft imagining this cabron as a dad with his kids :((

because you know what i thought of that first came to mind?

UM NIEVE DATES WITH HIS KIDS ANYONE???

where he for sure would always give into them whenever they ask if they can get some ice cream for breakfast or something-

he would probably have his kids pinky promise to him to not tell you anything about skipping meals just to have an ice cream cone :((

and like having them happily eating their ice cream while he picks them up and sets them on his hip :((((

i am sorry,, but you cannot tell me park visits are not a thing right after having ice cream:(

like the thought of him pushing his kids on the swing set :(( or going on the slide with them is breaking my heart- :((

but ramon also being extra af with protectiveness with his kids :(

like him making sure everything and anything that could hurt his kids in anyway,, hes moving his kids away from them-

:(would make sure his mens guns and his own guns are away from his kids sights-

and moving a whole bunch of dangerous things away like in hard to reach places so his babies dont even get the glimpse of danger :((

all because he would never forgive himself if something he could have prevented hurts his ninos :(wow

:((((( AH he would love styling his kids hair all the TIME

omg i fucking cant at the thought of him having a daughter and loving to braid or putting his daughters hair in these little pigtails??? :(((

like him sitting her on his lap in the morning,, the both of them watching some kids show on the tv as hes just gently as fucking possible brushing her hair out :((( why do i do this to my s e lf

and he would like,, give her a little kiss to his ninas head like “mi princesa hermosa,, la mas guapa de la casa” :( WOW

or if he has a son,, the mini fucking version of him and dressing him up in those pinshis camisas :((

im just- holding in my tears imagining ramon being the dad that would love to bathe his kids :((

and like him having all these toys for them too,, playing with them all the time just to make his kids laugh-

fuckk- he would definitely do that cute shit where he would gather bath bubbles in his hands and place them on top of his kids hair :(( no one look at me

him def being the dad to like,, burrito wrap his kids in towels after their baths :(( carrying them around the house while they dry :(((

bro? picking out their clothes?? for them to wear?? because he has style??? :((((( im sorry

would always be seen walking around with his kids sitting on top of his shoulders when theyre old enough-

like my mon is a toll bby and his kids love getting upsies from him beacuse of that :(

wow would this one loving blowing all his fucking money if it means his kids have the best birthday party in all of mexico even if its like their first birthday loL

just christmas and birthdays especially being a mf highlight for him because he buys so much presents for them to have

decorating the house from top to bottom,, every year it’s somehow better than the last-

ok but also him buying everything and anything for his kids when he’s out with them

like before his kid even finishes their sentence that they want some car toy on the shelf

his ass is already shoving it into the cart because his little angels will get ANYTHING their little hearts desire ok?

i laugh because you probably scold him at times that he’s spoiling them too much

but he’s always on defense like “mi amor,, dime como les puedo decir que no a estas caritas preciosas????” :(( like low key tho he loves consintiendo his kids because he cant help it :(

oh my god??? you know what just attacked my mind that it made me start bawling??

the fact that mi ramon would love dancing nortenas with his kid/ daughter :((((((((

OR THE FACT THAT HE WOuld love taking you to bailes-

dancing with you all pegaditos to banda or nortenas,,, tu by los elegantes de jerez anyone??

AND HAVING HIS FUCKING KID IN BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU :(((

im definitely not in the club crying my soul out at the thought of him kissing the top of his kids head and then you-

his stupid smile and heart eyes as he leans his forehead on yours and tells you “como te adoro princesa, por darme la mejor bendicion de mi vida” :(( someone pls come hug me

no :( i swear all i do is hurt myself because get this-

like do you guys remember when miguel angel killed off mi amor gueritos family?? holy shit could you imagine the way ramon would go fucking frantic to make sure that doesnt happen to his own family :(((

i kid you not he would go through anything to make sure you and his kids dont even get a single little piece of hair touched-

like im almost positive ,, family man ramon would fucking THREATEN to the max if miguel angel even looks or breathes in tijuanas direction-

wOW like when all the plazas got together and left in s2

and miguel angel saying some shit like “con cuidadito eh,, dicen que en tijuana anda bien peligroso,, no quiero que nada le pasa a esa hermosa familia que tienes, ramon”- ALL FUCKI NG SMUG WHILE MIGUEL THREATEN S HIM AND THE TJ BOYS FOR LEAVNI G-

good god- and ramon not hesitating for a second to try and pull his gun out,, all heated- im sorry for bringing that thought up

but overall just such a soft, overprotective family dad whos always going to be there making you and his kids as happy as possible :((

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

[la5t-res0rt]

this was written several weeks ago in response to asks i was receiving i am posting it now it is very long the longest i have ever made and it is not very well edited but here it is in this final essay i talk about how shitty rae is about black people in her writing as well as just me talking about how her writing sucks in general lets begin

hello everyone 

as you may know i have received a lot of anons in the last week or so about issues of racism in the beetlejuice community both just generally speaking and also within specific spaces 

i was very frustrated to not be getting the answers i wanted because i typically do not talk about what i do not see but in an effort to be better about discourse i went looking through discourse from before my time in the fandom and i also received some receipts and information from my followers and from some friends

keep in mind that the voices and thoughts of bipoc are not only incredibly important at all times but in this circumstance it is important that if a bipoc has something to add you listen and learn and be better

i admit that when this happened i wasnt aware of the extent of what occurred and im angry at myself for not doing more at that time and i want to work harder to make sure something like this doesnt go unnoticed again

im a hesitant to talk about months old discourse because i have been criticized for bringing up quote old new unquote but this is very important and i am willing to face whatever comes from to me

lets talk about this

content from our local racist idiot that may be months old but its important

putting my thoughts under a cut to spare the dash but before i begin obviously this is awful

lets fucking unpack this folks

right out the gate op states that she supports artistic freedom but then within a couple words she goes against that statement

being entirely canon compliant isnt artistic freedom and even so if this person has so much respect for canon they wouldnt be out here erasing lydias obvious disgust for beetlejuice in the movie or ignoring lydias age for the sake of shipping that shit isnt canon either 

also we love the quick jab at the musical there hilarious we love it dont we because god forbid a licensed and successful branch on a media have any standing in this conversation but whatever

now lets scroll down and talk about the term racebending

the term racebending was coined around 2009 in response to the avatar the last airbender movie a film in which the east asian races of the characters were erased by casting white actors in the three leading roles of aang sokka and katara 

whenever the term racebending is used in a negative light it is almost always a case of whitewashing like casting scarlett johansen in ghost in the shell or the casting of white actors of the prince of persia sands of time instead of iranian ones

this kind of racebending erases minorities from beeing seen in media and is wrong

all that being said however racebending has also been noted to have very positive after effects like the 1997 adaptation of cinderella or casting samuel jackson as nick fury in the marvel movies nick fury was originally a white guy can you even imagine

i read this piece from an academic that said quote writers can change the race and cultural specificity of central characters or pull a secondary character of color from the margins transforming them into the central protagonist unquote

racebending like the kind that rae is so heated about is the kind of creative freedom that leads to more representation of bipoc in media which will never be a bad thing ever no matter how pissy you get about it

designing a version of a character as a poc isnt serving to make them necessarily better it serves to give new perspective and perhaps the opportunity to connect even more deeply with a character it doesnt marginalize or erase white people it can uplift poc and if you think uplifting poc is wrong because it tears down white people or whatever youre a fucking moron and you need to get out of your podunk white folk town and see the real world

the numbers of times a bipoc particularly a bipoc that is also lgbt+ has been represented in media are dwarfed by what i as a white dude have seen myself represented in media is and that isnt okay that isnt equality and its something that should change not only in mainstream media but in fandom spaces as well

lets move down a bit further to the part about bullying straight people which is hilarious and lets also talk about the term fetishistic as well lets start with that

this person literally writes explicit pornography of a minor and an adult are we really going to let someone like that dictate what is and what isnt fetishistic

similarly to doing a positive racebend situation people may project lgbt+ headcanons on a character because its part of who they are and it helps them feel closer to the character and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that

depicting lgbt+ subject matter on existing characters isnt an inherently fetishistic action generally things only really become fetishistic when the media is being crafted and hyped by people who are outside of lgbt+ community for example how young teens used to flip a tit about yaoi or how chasers fetishize trans people

but drawing a character with top surgery scars or headcanoning them as trans is harmless and its just another way to interpret a character literally anone could be trans unless if their character bio says theyre cis and most of them dont go that deep so it really is open to interpretation and on the whole most creators encourage this sort of exploration because it is a good thing to get healthy representation out in the world

as for it being used to bully straights thats just funny i dont have anything else on that like if youre straight and you feel threatened and bullied because of someone headcanoning someone as anything that isnt cishet youre a fucking idiot and a weak baby idiot at that like the real world must fucking suck for you because lgbt+ people are everywhere and statistically a big chunk of your favorite characters arent cishet sorry be mad about it

lets roll down a bit further about the big meat of the issue which was when several artists were drawing interpretations of lydia as a black girl which i loved but clearly this person didnt love it because they have a very narrow and very racist and problematic view of what it means to be a black person

and before i move forward i must reiderate that i am a white person and you should listen to the thoughts of poc people like @fright-of-their-lives​ or @gender-chaotic it is not my place to explain what the black experience is like and it certainly isnt this persons either

implying that the story of a black person isnt worth telling unless if the character faces struggles like racism and prejudice is downright moronic 

why use the word kissable to describe a black persons lips now thats what i call fetishistic and its to another extreme if youre talking about a black version of lydia on top of that

the author of this post says herself that shes white so clearly shes the person whos an authority on the black experience and what it means to be a black person right am i reading that right or am i having a fucking conniption

how about allowing black characters to exist without having to struggle why cant a black version of lydia just be a goth teenager with a ghost problem who likes photography and is also black like she doesnt have to move to a hick town and get abused by racist folks she doesnt have to go through any more shit than she already goes through and if you honestly think thats the only way to tell a black persons story you need to get your brain cleaned

you know nothing about the complexities about being a black person and i dont either but you know wh odo black people who are doing black versions of canon characters they fucking know 

lets squiggle down just a bit further 

so the writer has issues with giving characters traits like a broad nose or larger lips if theyre a woman but if theyre a man suddenly its totally okay to go all ryan murphy ahs coven papa legba appropriation when approaching character design like are you fucking stupid do you hear yourself is that really how you see black men like what the fuck is wrong with you

none of the shit youre spewing takes bravery it takes ignorance and supreme levels of stupidity

do you really think you with your fic where a black lgbt+ woman is tortured and abused where you use the n word with a hard r to refer to her like that shits not okay its fucking depraved and yeah we know you love being shitty but like christ on a bike thats so much 

can we also talk about this

what the fuck is this fetishistic bull roar garbage calling this black character beyonce dressing her up in quote fuck me heels unquote are you are you seriously gonna write this and say its a shining example of how to write a black character youre basically saying ope here she is shes a sex icon haha im so progressive and i clealry understand the black experience hahahaha fuck you oh my god

on top of that theres a point where this character is only referred to as curly hair or the fact that the n word is used in the fic with the hard r like thats hands down not okay for you to use especially not in a manner like this jesus christ

oop heres a little more a sampling for you of the hell i am enduring in reading this drivel

oh boy lets put a leash on the angry black woman character lets put her in a leash and have the man imply hes a master like are you kidding me are you for real and what the fuck is with calling her shit like j lo and beyonce do you actually think thats clever at all are you just thinking of any poc that comes into your head for this 

also lydia fucking tells this girl that she shouldnt have lost her temper like she got fucking leashed im so tired why is this writing so problematic and also so bad

hold up before i lose my head lets look at some of her own comments on the matter of this character and what happens to her

hi hello youre just casually tossing the word lynch out there in the wide open world as if thats not a problem that is still real like are you fucking unhinged there have been multiple cases of this exact thing happening in our firepit of a country in the last five months alone like how can you still have shit like this up for people to read how can you be proud of work like this in this climate

and also what the fuck is that last bit 

what the actual fuck

i dont speak for black people as a white person but you do!? im sorry i had to get my punctuation out for that because wow thats fucking asinine just because one black person read your fic and didnt find the torture and abuse of your one black character abhorrant doesnt mean that the vast majority of people not only in the fandom but in the human population with decency are going to think its okay because its not 

i started this post hoping to be level headed and professional but jesus fucking christ this woman is something else white nationalism is alive and well folks and its name is rae

if you defend this woman you defend some truly abhorrant raecism

editors notes 

in order to get some perspective on these issues more fully some of the writing by the author was examined and on the whole it was pretty unreadable but i want to just call back to the very beginning of this essay where the person in question talked about holding canon in high regard but then in their writing they just go around giving people magic and shit and ignoring the end of the movie entirely like are you canon compliant or nah 

the writing doesnt even read like beetlejuice fanfic it reads as self indulgent fiction you could easily change the names and its just a bad fanfic from 2007

also can we talk about writing the lesbian character as an angry man hater like its 2020 dude and als olets touch on that girl on girl pandering while beetlejuice is just there like here we go fetishizing again wee

i cant find a way to work this into this already massive post but

im going to throw up

okay so thats a lot we have covered a lot today and im sure my ask box will regret it but this definitely should have been more picked apart when it happened

please feel free to add more to this i would love more perspectives than just my own.

[im-a-meteorite]

i’ve been marathoning the harry potter movies since im in quarantine and i’ve been taking some notes. i’ll post them all bc why not 

sorcerer’s stone

harry knowing that there’s no post on sunday,, a genius

hedwig’s theme playing when harry looks out of the window and sees an owl flying by, very nice

hagrid doing magic at the house on the rock thing,, wouldnt the ministry be able to track that?? since there’s no wizard that lives there, they should be alerted?? or did they remove the trace from hagrid once he got expelled?? like does it work by the trace only or? bc if it doesn’t work by location then how would they know that a muggle witnessed the magic?? idk anymore

the kids staring at the nimbus 2000 and saying its the fastest model yet,, then the camera zooming on the handle w/ the background blurred -> the most straight forward foreshadowing

hagrid is actually the worst person to take harry on his tour situation,, like bro literally left him in the middle of a train station

the weasleys and harry going to the platform while theres a shit ton of ppl walking around,,, statute of secrecy where??

the great hall is on the first floor?? i thought it was on the ground floor

ew the hats

i wish the movies had dumbledore’s weird few words speeches

“theres not one witch or wizard that went bad that wasnt in slytherin” broooo

mcgonagall is so savage i love her

snape is an asshole

a crap ton of chessboards in the great hall study hall scene,, foreshadowing the challenges?

madam hooch really yeeted herself out of neville’s way

✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨✨

harry really wiped the troll buggers on his robe,, disgusting

snapes hair is lowkey on fleek tho,,

making most of the slytherins ugly bc they’re the “evil” house is just a disservice to all the inbreeding

hermione setting snape on fire is truly iconic and very extra tbh like sis why tf would u know a spell like that

seasonal transition wasnt that great tbh

overall the directing style is kinda basic

“not in the restricted section,,” rule breaking hermione is the best hermione

dumbledore’s handwriting is so extra and loopy like tf?? but it fits his character

the hedwig flying season transition was good

“immortal?” “it means you’ll never die.” “i know what it means!”

50 points each for being out of bed??? wtf is this point system

filtch saying there’s werewolves in the forbidden forest,,, thats illegal sir

hagrid calling the trio by their first names but draco by his last,, we love favoritism

harry’s thoughts r so ridiculous,, “snape doesnt want the stone for himself, he wants it for voldemort!” lmaoo wtf,, evidence pls sir,, u don’t even know he was a death eater. was it the bad vibes?? bc same

harry figuring out that the person who gave hagrid the dragon egg is voldy,, a genius

“kill us faster?? now i can relax!!” ron is so iconic i love him

“lucky we didnt panic!” “lucky hermione pays attention in herbology”

how is it that harry’s hand burned quirrel but not the skin on harry’s neck?? that shit makes no sense

yeah i really cant imagine this dumbledore fighting voldy in movie 5

hermione’s headband in the reunion scene is so cute i love it

chamber of secrets:

how is dobby even allowed to just jump on the bed?? like is it bc harry isnt his master that he can do smth like that

“dobby has heard about harry potter’s kindness” or whatever,, bro u work for the malfoys either the elves gossip or draco is waxing poetry about harry

aunt petunia saying “we have ice-cream” after that whole affair is just ridiculous

DIAGONALLY

this seems like the extended version bc i dont remember the borgin and bruks scene to be that long

the close ups with lucius and ginny’s books r insane lmao like chris columbus made it so obvious

also mr weasley’s acting is so funny like its so exaggerated

lucius malfoy is so dramatic and extra we love it

also lucius knowing hermione’s name and “draco’s told me all about you”??? bro whats with draco?? lmaoo

snape really got mad with the whole car business

mandrakes r fucking weird bro how did jkr come up with that

PERCY WALKING WITH PENELOPE CLEARWATER??? HOW DID I MISS THAT??

omg colin had so many lines?? wow

omg erol with the fucking howler,, iconic

ron’s facial expressions?? pure comedy, rupret is so good

LOCKHEART REALLY SAID “GOOD GIRL” THEN WINKED AT HERMIONE

“pesky piksy pescinomy” this bitch dumb

“why is it always me?” poor neville

omfg ✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨

ahh using the seeker position for fighting

ew draco used the m-word

the shit the basilisk is saying is so lame lmaoo

how does harry not recognize that he’s hearing a different language?? or does parsaltongue act weird

HOW IS THE WHOLE SCHOOL IN THE SAME CORRIDOR???

“i know the counter-curse that could’ve spared her” bitch the dirty looks he got?? omfg

the movies would’ve been 500% better if they had lee jordan’s iconic quidditch commentary

“scarhead” “TRAINING FOR THE BALLET, POTTER?”

“what did you expect?? pumpkin juice??” madam pomfery is a queen

dobby is dumb dumb

“who am i, hedwig? what am i?”

“reading? i didnt know you could read?”

“look at my face” “look at your tail!”

“you can’t cancel quidditch!”

“oh harry, if you die down there, you’re welcome to share my toilet”

lockheart: do you live here? ron: no *smacks him in the head with a rock*

“voldemort is my past, present and future” are all slytherins this dramatic??

the tension between hermione and ron in the last feast was insane

justin filtch fletchy is so ugly im so sorry i cant

prisoner of azkaban:

im sorry but harry doing underage illegal magic pisses me off every time

aunt marge 🤢

“do they use a cane boy?” “oh yeah, i’ve been beaten loads of times”

that whole scene is so chaotic

“you cant do magic outside of school!” “oh yeah? try me”

sirius really dumb for barking at harry like it makes no sense

the knight bus is probably one of the best things in this movie

“whatcha doing down there??” “i fell over” “whacha fell over for?” “i didnt do it on purpose!” “well come on then, lets not wait for the grass to grow”

harry leans over and looks for the grim, stan: “whatcha looking at?”

“yeah take it away ernie,, its gonna be a bumpy ride”

this whole thing is written and directed so perfectly

i hate how they replaced tom bc it really made no sense

all the bits of magic in the leaky caldron is so genius

fudge reminds me of trump but like dumber

the blue lighting and coloring is just great, it fits the colder vibe of the story (not like HBP with the hazy/blurry effect)

ugh the glass and mirror transitions are one of my favorite things,, alfonso curon really did that 

i love the weasleys,, also everyone looks great in this movie

omg the scene with arthur talking to harry about sirius with the sirius poster always being in sight?? amazing

contrast of light and darkness just echos the whole dementor vs patronus situation

i dont even understand why remus took the train other than for the nostalgia

the lights slowly turning off in the different carriages?? amazing

the visual representation of the dementors’ effect is great

REMUS!!!

i wish there was more emotion from remus when he’s talking about sirius,, like that was one of his only friends

snape clapping literally twice for remus,, ajhshsh

ahh the placement of the slytherin and gryffindor tables right beside each other to increase the tension and further the plot

oh yea the new dumbledore, also cool hat he has

omg the new fat lady painting

omg the candy scene?? so cute i love lads being lads. that scene just echo’s dumbledore’s light in the dark quote bc its storming outside at night and they’re creating a happy environment within the dark especially with the dementors

ah yes the clock references + following the bird to show us important parts of hogwarts and putting the whomping willow in the forefront

ron’s reading of harry’s tea leaves,, still on point tho. ron really has a knack for divination

buckbeak! omg drapple

draco is so hot especially with that ring also the slytherin pins??

“oh yeah, terribly funny, really witty. god, this place has gone to the dogs”

the kids look so messy i love it + harry’s uneven tie

HERMIONE CLINGING TO RONS ARM!!

“its killed me! your gonna regret this, you and your bloody chicken”

omg the boggart lesson

“riddikulus!” “this class is ridiculous”

fuck snape!

draco really pushed someone with his bandaged arm

remus is such an amazing professor i love him and i just miss him so much

ugh harry in this hoodie?? amazing

remus and harry’s conversation with the music :(( lily :((

wtf is that eye painting??

percy screaming about being head boy,, bro stfu

sirius is such a dramatic little bitch i love it

seasonal changes marked by the wimping willow

“turn to page 394”

what a fucking rude ass bitch,, i hate snape

harry really be seeing the grim everywhere

i wish they had “wheres wood?” “trying to drown himself in the shower”

winter transition with hedwig! + clock tower

“come and join the big boys”

i just adore this scene of the twins giving harry the map (bro i really want a series about the marauders)

whos that skinny bitch with draco???

harry’s way too rash tbh

also mcgonagall being also too nonchalant about the whole marauder’s situation?? like those werent your students

remus is a soft boy dark academia icon

if only dumbledore wasnt a dumbass,, remus could have been uncle moony raising harry with sirius

ron’s nightmare scene?? iconic

“my dad didnt strut. nor do i” umm james potter was also a drama queen sooo probably strutting

“you, YOU FOUL LOATHSOME EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH” “hermione no, he’s not worth it”

sirius’ dog form really looks like a rabid dog omfg

the part where hermione grabs harry while she’s on the wimping willow omfg

“only one will die tonight” YOU DRAMATIC BITCH UR NOT MAKING THIS BETTER

“finally the flesh reflects the madness within” “well you’d know all about the madness within, wouldn’t you remus?”

why the fuck is the shreaking shack is swaying in the wind??

QUARRELING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE

why the fuck didnt they knock peter out?? like tf?? they’re actually dumb dumb there were so many ways for this to go right

this man really sent 2 13-year-olds on this dumbass mission

buckbeak really beat up remus,, “professor lupin’s having a really tough night”

harry’s a fucking psycho with this patronus bullshit,, i cant

can they stop screaming while flying on buckbeak?? someone might hear them

im still mad sirius didnt get his name cleared,, so much would’ve changed

“we did it” “did what? goodnight” i fucking hate dumbledore and his mindlessness omfg sometimes i wanna punch him in the face

fuck snape for outing remus as a werewolf,,, but also he really didnt have to resign. like istg wheres the marauder energy when it comes to defying everyone??

i wish the movies had went into the marauders’ history :(( its one of my favorite aspects of the series

[nenastrology]

Okay so I wanna watch naruto (I read most of the manga so I’m familiar with Everything) but the first few eps feel so kid-show yknow? I know you’ve written at least one Naruto Watching Guide but any thoughts on where I should start...?

tdfk;jfas yeah i have i also watched naruto in one of the most insane ways imaginable so honestly i think there are many ways to go about it and have fun first you need to be armed with the naruto filler list https://www.animefillerlist.com/shows/naruto https://www.animefillerlist.com/shows/naruto-shippuden its especially important for shippuden which is like absolutely insane but frankly the further you get into it the harder it is to actually avoid filler like id say kazekage rescue mission (the first arc of shippuden) and kage summit (the last arc before war arc) are probably the biggest casualties of the anime severely fucking up the pacing and throwing in bizarre flashbacks and dragging shit out unnecessarily to the point they can become almost unwatchably boring because its so repetitive like even when you skip the actual filler episodes its like woven into the actually important episodes in a way that u literally cannot avoid and the flow is totally destroyed like just as warning i realize i havent even answered the question of where to start tbh i started by just getting introduced via the first valley of the end fight which i feel like is a good place to just reignite interest in naruto also the animation is like gorgeous and i think both valley of the end fights are both better than the manga versions the first one is pretty faithful but the second is like an entire step up with the series’s best animation by far i feel like in general you shouldnt feel too beholden to watching in a particular order like idk just watch what you really like and skip other stuff oh one random arc i wanna shout out is the akatsuki suppression arc in shippuden the arc where team ten go after the akatsuki for asuma like it has a few episodes that are like waaaaaay better than the manga version and idk why but it really stuck with me and was honestly disappointed when i read the manga and it wasnt as good

ok just separating out cuz this is getting unreadable but i think honestly my biggest recommendation is like ok if something is boring just skip it like i found the sasuke recovery mission fights sooo annoying cuz i just wanted to go from the hospital fight to just cut to the main action which was obviously naruto and sasukes confrontation and thats just personal so id probably skip a lot of those fights if i rewatched and for the most part id just say watch what you really like or remember liking and go on from there like dfjklfas;j the way i watched it was also with friends which always makes the boring parts go faster but like for example i watched part 1 and shippuden at the same time like watched a few episodes of part 1 and then continued with my friends shippuden watch after i saw the first valley of the end and a few selected parts of chuunin exams and was like oh wait this has just overtaken me i have to watch naruto and then somehow ended up lining it up that the day i finally got to valley of the end on my watch thru and rewatched it with the full added context of all of the first half of naruto i then watched sasuke vs itachi with my friend which was an entire experience in and of itself i think to have those two fights so closely linked in my head.. i realize i should probably shout out chuunin exams but i am honestly not the biggest chuunin exams fan so i am probably not the best person to ask i know its like a blasphemous opinion im just not a huge tournament arc fan but i know most other people do really like it so i feel like thats also a good place to jump into because also its like where the arcs all just start feeding into each other and stuff gets more serious like the end of chuunin exams perfectly locks into like naruto and gaaras huge fight and then they gotta find tsunade and so on like i think thats also probably the spot of the most consistent quality in naruto as well but if u also arent really vibing with the early part of naruto idk try and get into your favorite part of shippuden i feel like its harder to recommend where to start cuz truly the quality is sooo hit or miss and stuff thats good in the manga sometimes just flat out sucks in the and stuff thats meh in the manga is like great in the anime i cant seem to dig up my watch guide thru search that was written closer to when i last actually watched naruto but i think thats probably a better source um if u were somebody who skipped most of the war arc i also wanna shout out the madara and hashirama backstory episodes i think theyre very fun and good and also the animation in kakashi vs obito is literally mind blowing and i dont think you should miss out on those :) sorry this is just a wall of absolute nonsense lol i hope u have fun tho im gonna see if i can find the watch list once more tho...

[bluepluto03]

mcu spiderman rewrite/au i may or may not do

ok so first quick disclaimer! i do not hate the mcu spider man movies in any way!! i actually enjoy them quite a bit and have seen homecoming like 4 times! and i absolutely adore all the actors in the movies, especially tom, zendaya, and jacob 

but the problem w/ the mcu spiderman movies is,,, they’re just not spiderman. at least from a writing/thematic perspective, which sucks bc so much other stuff about them is great! like tom holland is the perfect peter parker, which is why it seems so close to being right, but with the way the script is actually written... it’s just. not spider-man. 

i feel the need to explain all this/my problems w/ the movies b4 i get into the actuall au idea/plot, so please bear with me for a sec

for context, I’ve loved spiderman my whole life. i’d watch the cartoons when i was younger, and then went back and watched them all again when i was a bit older and figured out how to pirate stuff lol. i didn’t really know how to get into the comics, so i just kinda read wikis and got second-hand info from fanfics and the other movies

to me, spiderman, (at least, peter parker spiderman,) was always about like... a kid, who saw the world was broken and fixed it because he could. he had the power to fix stuff, so he did. 

as a kid w/ mental illness and a not so great home life... that was something really really important to me. to see another kid out there, who’s been through some shit, but finally has the power to make stuff better, so he is! and it would make me think, maybe i can change stuff for the better, someday, if i just get my chance

but,,,,, the problem is mcu peter parker isn’t that. 

instead of becoming spiderman bc he knows there’s bad in the world and wants to fix it, suddenly his motivation is impressing tony stark?? and don’t get me wrong i don’t hate tony, but the way they wrote his and peter’s relationship basically trapped peter. he could no longer be his own hero, bc he was tony’s successor. and that's never who peter parker’s spiderman was?? he was never a follower, he was a trendsetter. he didn’t become spiderman for approval, hell he had dozens of newspapers constantly slandering him. 

honestly the following in someone else’s footsteps thing was always a miles morales thing. he had to step up to the plate and fill the shoes of a spiderman who had already existed for years and was beloved by the whole city. obviously thats not all he is and simplifying his character to that is incredibly obtuse, but i bring it up bc tbh alot of stuff w/ mcu peter parker is just straight-up ripped off from miles morales. like how peter now goes to a fancy private school, is no longer poor (which is a huge thing w/ peter parker’s character in like every other incarnation), has a living father figure, and is bffs w/ ned, who is a straight-up rip off of miles’s best friend ganke. (for the record tho i adore ned and jacob i’m def keeping him in my rewrite,,,, also i’m glad he’s in the movie bc having a plus sized poc protagonist thats not constantly mocked is incredible) 

so, i’m complaining about all this stuff lol but ur probably wondering how exactly how i wanna fix it lol,,,, 

first, give peter an arc thats more than just..... i want tony to believe in me. my idea for that is basically a type of thing where he learns to rely on others! bc like... peter isn’t good at working w/ others lol, he’d much rather do it all himself so no one else gets hurt. (like in the andrew garfield movies where he just,,,, webs his gf to a car so she can’t run into danger lmao) 

the plot would start at a similar ish position to homecoming, though tony never recruits peter for civil war. tbh not sure if it even happened but we’ll disscuss that later

peter’s been spiderman for a few months, after a trip to oscorp left him w/ a radioactive spider bite. currently no one knows about it, and he’s doing a pretty ok job of dealing w/ everything on his own. until he takes down a big bad, lets say rhino for now, and gains a ton of publicity. after stooping a hudge disaster he’s suddenly in the limelight, and catches the attention of one norman osborn, aka the green goblin 

now, quick sidenote. green goblin is genreally seen as pretty goofy, but there are comic versions of him that are legit terrifying. if im being honest i didn’t even know about that version until i read aloneintherains fic birds eating other birds so ig thats kinda ish how i’m imagining this version of norman? though alot more composed, like the man who could someday turn into that 

so norman becomes intrested in my boy peter, and starts sending ppl after him. possibly the sinister 6, but uhh maybe not bc tbh i think this “rewrite” needs to be split into 2 “movies”/works and i might wanna save that for the hypothetical pt2 (btw if i write this it won’t b for a while cause i got other stuff going on but ig if ppl are intrested i might write some snippits/make more content for it) 

so basically the main plot is peter dealing w/ all these big bads on his own, doing ok at first but later getting really fucked up, and eventually revealing himself to ned and mj which ends up being the only way he can save the day in the end. by relying on others! yay!! 

thats it for the main plot, but don’t worry y’all we got other stuff going on too lmao 

so, for one. my boy peter is realizing he has a crush and just,,,, freaking tf out. (i have yet to decide if it’s on ned or mj. or both. sue me) the crush isn’t definitely resolved in p1, but i imagine there’d be some cute thing of him suddenly realizing and freaking out and almost revealing his powers. 

thing 2! tony stark! he is still in here, and still a mentor to peter, but in a pretty drastically different way. one, he doesn't know about peter being spiderman. he doesn't even suspect it lmao. he just gets involved bc of.... some sort of reason bc peter is so smart. do i know why just yet? no. does it matter? probably but i’m writing this pretty late after i had school all day so i’m too tired to care 

bc tony basically gives peter a real internship/mentorship type thing, peter now has access to all this tech!! and all these funds!! fucking lit!! so he changes from his pajama suit to the fancy one, tho he actually built it!! which i feel like him making his suit is a really big really important part of his character. so it doesn't really have all those random things tony added, tho peter might add stuff himself. he gets Karan as a like assistant ai as part of his internship but she never gets put into the suit

for the fist part tony plays a super minor role but like,,,, the first part is about osborn taking an intrest in him, and him confiding in ned and mj. the second part norman is become progressively more dangorus and peter has to fight him and stuff, kinda proving he is strong enough to be spiderman/be trusted to the whole world, beyond just ned and mj. also him actually getting together w/ either one or both of them bc...... bc i want that. 

oh btw idk if tony finds out or not in p2? if he does it’s either at the end or in a scene like the one w/ may bc like. please imagine the shenanigans of peter and ned (who both have high intellegence but low wisdom) in tony’s lab, obviously trying to hide the fact that peter’s spiderman. like he walks in on them and peter looks all frumpy bc he’s been trying to change real fast, and ned’s shirt is messed up bc he just stuffed the mask down the front of it, and mj is just. chilling behing them. so tony just like assumes stuff and is like....aight.... have fun.... 

oh btw the last big change that i didn’t really have anyway to insert natrually into this,,,, so remember how i said ned was kinda a ripoff of ganke? well, the writers claim he’s a “composite character” so i figured, why not give him traits from other famous spiderman side character so he actually is a composite character! 

so like,,,, throughout p1 it’s referenced that ned has a kinda dickish estranged ish dad that he hates and his mom doesn't really like but kinda forces him too... theres some mentions of his dad wanting him to transfer to a private school and being kinda rich, bur he dosen’t want to bc he knows his dad is a total dickead,,,, anyway end of the movie we find out norman osborn is ned’s dad, and ned hates him even fucking more bc it’s like bitch?? u tried to get my (maybe) bf murdered?? tf?? and its lowkey bc he can’t reveal peter’s id, but then in p2 after norman takes matters into his own hands and tries to kill peter on his own ned just fucking yells at him while the man is in jail and is like fuck u lmao 

soooo thats my really messy au idea!! i’m really tired sorry if this is hard to understand or rude! for the record i have nothing against the ppl who adore these movie’s, i just think they could be better! 

[nativemossy]

Cap-IM Rec Week 2019 - Wednesday

Rec Week- Angsty Wednesday @cap-ironman 

Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments for your hardworking authors! they deserve the credit for the hard work they put into entertaining us with their fabulous works of art!

disclaimer: i genuinely struggle with the difference between angst and h/c, so the way i’m differentiating those lists is (mostly) by what the author tagged. 

the stillness of forgetting - by nasa

“Who are you?” Tony asks every morning when he wakes up and finds Steve lying next to him.

“I’m your husband,” Steve always replies.

-

aka Tony has Alzheimer's.

why rec?: ouchie, this one makes me cry a lot, so I don’t read it often. memory loss fics really get to me, so if thats something youre interested in this has it in stock! its so heartrendingly sweet and i just love it a lot

Orbital Mechanics - by Sabrecmc

Freshly out of the ice, Captain Steve Rogers definitely does not want to Bond with anyone. Until he does.

(Steve's POV for Celestial Navigation)

why rec?: tbh i’d recommend anything of Sabres (and multiple times at that - hence why i posted abt this on monday as well), but Celestial Navigation and by extension Orbital Mechanics both have permanent places on my instant classics list. just a lovely fic all around.

Something Death Can Touch - by thatdammeddame

Tony nearly dies in the field on a Saturday.

Steve breaks up with Tony the Wednesday after he's released from hospital.

why rec?: sad!! with happy ending!! its got a nice round conclusion, everyone comes full circle and is better for it.

Like A Comet Streaming On - by Sineala

Tony escapes Afghanistan with a functioning Iron Man suit and a perfectly normal heart. He even manages to bring Ho Yinsen home safely at his side. But he may as well have lost everything... because his wolfbrother is dead. Six months later, the Avengers find Captain America, frozen in ice, miraculously alive. Everything and everyone Steve has ever known is gone -- except his wolfsister, the recipient of the lupine version of the super-soldier serum, who was frozen in his arms. Tony has everything but his wolf. Steve has only his wolf. This is how their lives fit together.

why rec?: another fic that lives in my phone and travels with me - this is an instant classic for sure. i feel like i’ve recced this before no but i will be reccing it’s “fanfic of a fanfic” in tomorrows post, so I have talked about it. I love the psychic wolf premise, I hope to maybe do something in the future with it, though I could never dream of coming close to this amazing fic. If i’ve read this once i’ve read it dozens of times and loved it more each time. 

Wait & Sea - by Lenalena 

In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

why rec?: tagged as angst and humor and if memory serves that’s exactly right. perfect blend of the humor of the identity porn trope with the angst of constant misunderstandings. 

Born From The Earth - by venusm

Tony Stark's born an omega in a world where that means he's supposed to follow certain social rules. He becomes Iron Man anyway: Fuck biology.

If only his biology (and the world) would quit fucking him back.

why rec?: i debated real heavy about including this because it’s technically steve/tony/omc, but hear me out: A great part of this fic focuses on the developing relationship between Tony and Steve, as well as Tony’s relationship with himself and the world around him. This is, hands down, my favorite fic of all time. as far as writing in general goes it’s right up there with my favorite authors. if i could only read one fic for the rest of my life this would undoubtedly be it - unfinished or no. i cannot even begin to impress upon you how much I love this fic. I can only aspire to write like this. the author makes you angry when they want you to be angry, sad when they want that too. It’s a beautifully orchestrated rollercoaster of emotion and I fall a little more in love every time I read it (which is frighteningly often).

Never Too Late for Love - by Sineala

Steve has always believed that a soulbond is a blessing -- a rare and beautiful miracle, joining the thoughts and feelings of two people forever, from the first time they touch. Steve knows he's not going to be one of the lucky ones. He knows Gail isn't his soulmate. But he loves her, even if they're not soulmates, and he's going to do right by her. After the war's over, he's going to marry her, and they're going to settle down. They'll buy a house. They'll have children. He'll see his family again. Maybe Bucky will live next door. It's going to be a good life. He doesn't need a soulbond. He'll be fine without one.

Then Steve wakes up sixty years in the future to find that his wonderful life has moved on without him. His family is long dead. His fiancée married his best friend. And the only purpose he has left is leading the Ultimates, a misbegotten team of superheroes with flaws too numerous to count. Steve hates everything about the future -- but most of all he detests Tony, flashy and flirtatious, who embodies everything Steve hates about a world he never wanted to live in.

And, oh, yeah, Steve has a soulmate after all: Tony fucking Stark.

why rec?: so much relationship angst. so. much. angst. Steve has to get his ass in gear and his brain into the 21st century, and Tony probably needs to go easy on the poor guy. its also ultsfic, which I’m usually not a giant fan of bc of the assholery but the dynamic works for me here

Senseless - by Scavenge4Dreams

Blinded, deafened, exhausted, injured and afraid, Tony raised himself up into a defensive position, the knife coming up just like Nat had taught him.

“That had better fucking be you, Steve Rogers- it had better be you. Fucking disarm me. If you let me kill you, I swear I will be very, very pissed.” Tony snarled, sure it was Steve approaching. Had to be. Had. To. Be.

What if it wasn’t?

why rec?: it’s been a while since i’ve read this, but I remember this being a good one that involves a rescue, injury recovery, and some eventual upon a brief reread I can say that this fic also has established relationship going for it! it’s tagged angst but it’s definitely got it’s fluffy parts and a really fun ending

Thrust Issues - by Sineala

A battle gone wrong leads Tony to the unexpected and pleasant discovery that Steve is much more well-endowed than he could ever have imagined. But when Tony learns that Steve has never actually been able to sleep with anyone because of his size, Tony does what any good friend would do: he offers to relieve Steve of his virginity. Personally. Tony's determined, Tony's methodical, and Tony has a plan. He's going to get Steve laid. Tony just needs to make sure Steve never finds out that Tony's in love with him.

why rec?: look at this point i think we can all agree that i might be a little bit of a fan of sineala’s. just wanted to throw that one out there to start us out. 

so my rec has little to do with the oodles of pining angst (of which there is plenty) and much more to do with there being a specific line in this fic that boils down to “friends fist friends right?” and I think of it at least biweekly. the rest of the fic is beautifully written and the characterization is to die for, plus its got a lovely happy ending!

She - by isozyme

Iron Man is strong and muscular and masculine, and Tony Stark wears a three-piece suit and walks with his hips stiff.  No colors other than navy or muted red. No prints bolder than a pinstripe. No luxurious silks and linens. His outfits are tailored to hang crisp and straight, his slacks hemmed to a conservative medium break.  The public won’t know. Nobody will go digging deeper, for classified ads and witnesses who remember him from half a decade ago. Steve will never find out all the ways Tony’s ruined himself.

why rec?: i’m putting this here just in case I don’t make a post for Sunday. This is one of those fics that hurts so good - it’s so well written sometimes it makes my teeth ache because it’s so sad and as the reader you can see all the pieces but a character cant. I love that feeling, its a great feeling. Some of this stuff can hit close to home so heed the warnings and read the tags!

[blondecarfucker]

Bed of Roses (Last Chapter - 21)

Roger Taylor x Reader

BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Fic Summary: It's 1971. You just moved to London to study, and you find a band on a local pub after a bad date. The encounter doesn’t go the way you expect it, and neither does what follows this evening as you try to deal with loving Roger Taylor.

Fic Note: So I’ve had this story in my head for the last three weeks and finally decided to write it down. It’s completely planned. It will have 21 chapters and it’s divided in three acts: Dusk, Night and Dawn. It’s will be a bit angsty in the future, and it will most likely have some smut as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! Tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages. If this is your first time stumbling upon Bed of Roses, thank you for stopping by! The rest of the story is in my masterlist, the link is in my bio - can't put the link here or else the post will disappear from the tags.

Chapter's notes: THE LAST CHAPTER. I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE. i feel like before i start my thank yous i could give you some weird trivia on the story. i wrote the entire outline for the fic at a weekend shift at work, where i always have free time. i had some smaller ideas - them meeting at a bar and not seeing again, the whole kensingon-taxi-class thing from the beginning - but there was a sudden burst of inspiration and in like twenty minutes the outline was done, and very little has changed, i mostly just added some more details. also, i imagine the reader as alicia silverstone in the 90s?? idk. i just do. also, the reader thing with new york comes from the fact that i lived there for a while and i miss it so much, so thats why theres so much detail about places and stuff - its my form of revisiting my favourite spots there. also, will (REMEMBER WHEN) was written with sebastian stan in mind, and liv tyler (in her lord of the rings days) was poppy. i did too much research for this fic on queen history, and everytime i had to change something (especially in the first act) so the dates made more sense, it KILLED ME.

anyway, now the thank yous: SHIT THIS FIC IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT CHAPTER ON MY LIFE. its my first time writing such a long story without abandoning it, and my first time writing fiction in english, so i learned so much!! i was doing some research the other day, and the great gatsby is like 47k words long, and the first harry potter is around 70k words long - bed of roses is around 60k words long. this is crazy.

it's also my first story to get this many readers interacting with me, and i'm so grateful for you all!! i thought about thanking you all by name, but i dont want anyone to feel left out so i just want every and each one of you reading these words to know: if you read my story, thank you. thank you for giving me your time of the day, thank you for connecting with what i wrote, thank you for telling me in any way possible that you've enjoyed it. thank you. a writer must write, but theres not a lot of joy in talking to an empty room. you filled my small room with warmth and love and there's not enough words to express my gratitude for you all. thank you.

about my writing: i plan on FINALLY DOING THE MANY REQUESTS I HAVE IGNORED OVER THIS FINAL ACT OF BED OF ROSES - requests are still open, too! i'm also outlining a smaller roger x reader fic where she's one of the videographers on the news of the world documentary, so keep an eye out for that! i'm gonna open a permanent taglist for the requests (and eventual new fic), so if you want to be added, hit me up in the ask box/comments/inbox!

anyway i'll finally wrap up this chapter's note cause you have the final chapter to read. enjoy my loves

Words: nearly 4k

Warnings: none??? part of their dialogue is inspired by some of my favourite movies and books like her and the wife and almost famous and before sunrise and the fault in our stars and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and maybe more I DONT KNOW ITS BEEN AN EMOTIONAL RIDE OK I CANT EVEN REMEMBER WHERE DID I PULL THIS FROM EXACTLY. some errors too cause i didnt revise it completely my bad im crying ok

 ACT 3 - DAWN

"It's the moment night time seems weaker and everything seems easier to figure out"

 Chapter 21

Roger lit a cigarette in the train cabin, and tried to open the top window, the one you can usually pull open.

"Rog, it's not gonna open, you know", you told him as you watched him fiddling with the glass.

"I guess you're right. Hope you won't be bothered by the smoke", he said, taking a puff.

"I won't if you share it with me", you answered, and with a half smile on his lips, Roger lifted the cigarette to your lips, and you breathed in the smoke while looking at him through your lashes.

"Don't look at me like that. Especially if the cigarette smoke is going to leave the cabin sultry and hot", he told you, and you laughed.

"Yeah, and we won't do anything about it", you said, trying to make yourself more comfortable in your seat.

"And why is that?", he asked, batting his lashes innocently at you, you you lightly elbowed his ribs.

"We need to do something else, something we've been ignoring the whole trip", you said, and he raised his brow. "We need to talk about us", you told him, and he breathed out, smoke coming out of his nose.

"I guess you're right again", he said, then slid a bit down on his seat.

You didn't think much about talking about your future with Roger while in Paris, so now has to be the time, on a train that will take you to London and to a whole month of Roger being away, promoting News Of The World.

While in Paris, you never talked to Roger about the future, and talks of the past where subtle - you talked about how you felt with the development Doctor Who took over the years, but didn't think much about the fact that you were separate during years of the show.

You enjoyed the city, but most of all, you enjoyed each other's presence, not only going to museums, churches and castles around you, following them up with fancy dinners and walks along the Seine, but you also spent time inside the room, in your pajamas, ordering take out from restaurants you found on the phone book, having a hard time trying to speak french as Roger tickled the sole of your feet and kept trying to distract you.

You would always remember the peace you felt as you ate cheap chinese food on Roger's shirt on the balcony at night, the Eiffel Tower shining over your meal and Roger's electric blue eyes as he hummed early David Bowie's songs under his breath, or how at home you felt sitting on the couch, Roger on the floor with his head on your lap, his soft strands on your fingers as you tried to braid them while watching re-runs of I Dream of Jenie, Roger focused, trying to understand the french dubbing until he noticed what you were doing.

"Babe, are you trying to braid my hair? Think I'd look better if I'd look more girly?", he said, moving his head back so he can look at you.

"Yeah. Always thought so, but I'll have to keep imagining, since your hair is too short to braid", you pouted, and he laughed.

"Don't you like my new hair, then?", he asked, pouting back, and you moved your head to his level so you could press a quick kiss to his lips.

"I love it, Rog. Especially cause since it's shorter, it looks even messier after I pull it", you said, and he smirked. "My favourite look of yours is when you're all dishevelled after sex", you winked, teasing him.

"That's my favourite, too", he said, turning completely around and pulling you in for a kiss, his hand on the back of your neck.

But now, while in the smoke filled train cabin, you needed to make a few things clear.

"I've been avoiding this for a reason", he said, looking out the window, and you raised your brow, waiting for him to explain. "I have this weird, innate fear of you telling me it's all good but you don't want to see me again, or something", he said, and you gave him a half smile.

"I don't want to do this, Rog. And I won't do it", you told him, and he sighed in relief.

"Even though loving you is a bit complicated, I'll admit. Especially if you're me", you shrugged, and he turned to you, confused.

"Let me explain. I loved your idea for a bed of roses, a few days ago, cause it can exemplify our relationship so well. The roses feel so good against the skin, the smell is so intoxicating, it looks so beautiful - maybe too beautiful, ethereal, even. But then there's always a few thorns here and there, and they hurt so much when they lodge themselves on my skin, but I'm so intoxicated by the whole experience that I don't mind - I convince myself that it's nothing, and even that it's already part of me already, cause the thorns fit so perfectly on me, on my little stabs made by myself, by my own insecurities", you say, and he stares at you.

"What I'm trying to say is that every minute that I'm with you always distract me from the issues that come with being with you - the fact that there's a few expectations that come with being your serious girlfriend, be them always travelling with you while we're young, or eventually staying home once we have kids, knowing that you'll eventually cheat on me with a younger version of myself, while I'm too tired of taking care of the babies to even think about my sexual needs", you said, and you watched him frown.

"I'm not sure where you're going with this-", he started saying, but you cut him off.

"Let me finish, I promise it will get better", you said, fixing your posture as you start again. "But the thing is, I love you. I always have, ever since I started talking to you, you always trying to outflirt me, always seeing me as your equal. You desire me, but you also listen and see me as another human being, you never back down or ignore me if I challenge one of your beliefs, and you never treat me as a trophy-wife-to-be", you say, and you can feel your eyes fill with tears, but you're smiling. That's what you always loved about Roger. He smiled back at you.

"And because I love you, I don't want to deny myself the pleasure of being with you. I'd rather be in a bed of roses than in an empty bed - or worse, a blank bed, someone being there just so it's less cold at night. I want to be with you, Rog", you say, and he pulls you in for a hug, and you hold him back for a few moments before pulling away and looking at him in the eye.

"But also because I love you and I want to be with you, Rog, I don't want us to try to fit into this type of relationship I just mentioned. I don't want you to make me the other woman, either, when you eventually find someone so you can settle down, if it's not me" you said, rubbing your nose. "I guess I want to settle down with you, eventually, as we planned before, but this whole thing - living together and cheating if we're away for too long - it kills me, and I think it kills you, too. I respect you too much to want to cheat on you again, cause if I ever do and you never find out, I'll lose respect for you, and the same thing will happen if you cheat on me and I don't find out. And these are ugly truths, but this isn't our first time together; we know each other, we need to think about this", you told him, and he nodded.

"And I need to make it clear that I'll never be a simple rockstar housewife - I'll never be able to quit my job and look out for the kids while you travel the world and I make them lunch. I'll never be able to sit down on a dinner table on some award show with you and when someone asks me what I'll do, I'll smile as I say I'm a king-maker. I'm not", you said, firmly.

"And I'll never be satisfied with dumb spa and shopping trips as you do the actual work when we travel. If I have to live this life, I'll resent you, and I don't want that. I like being domestic with you, but this type of forced domesticity will poison us again - we're both too wild, too career-focused, for this. We've always been similar", you said, and he gave you a smile as you sighed. "I guess that's all I have to say", you shrugged, and he laughed. "Not much, right?", he said, running his fingers on his hair, pulling the strands back.

"Guess it's my turn now", he said, and you nodded, encouraging him. "When I saw you again, at the pub, there was so much that I wanted to say. I mostly wanted to apologize - it got lost as I got infatuated with you again, and tried to get you in bed - you know, usual stuff", he winked, and you laughed.

"But yeah, I kept looking at you while you updated me on your life, your skin glooming under the stars and the moonlight, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I wanted to apologize to you for. All the pain we caused each other. Everything I put on you. Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say. Cause no matter what - even if you had decided on never seeing me again after all this - I'll always love you, because we grew up together. And you helped make me who I am", he said, moving strands of your hair behind your ear.

"I just want you to know that there will always be a piece of you in me, always. Whatever someone you become, wherever you are in the world, however this" he said, pointing his finger to the two of us "works out, in whatever form it might take", he said, sighing "I'll always send you love. Before being anything else to me - and I hope to God you're always something more - you'll always be my friend, to the end", he told you, and the tears were already streaming down your cheeks. His cheeks soon mirrored yours.

"And now, after you so eloquently told me all your fears about our future, I need you to know something else, too", he said, as you wiped the tears under your eyes. "I always loved you for being the way you are. You always challenge me, you always make me work harder, try harder, to be better. And it's not even something you force me to do; I just follow your lead. The way you look was what first got into me, I won't lie, but the way you are is what made me stay. It's what will always make me stay", he said, a genuine smile on his lips. He made you feel warm, like the sun.

"You're the smartest person I know, you're funny, you enjoy sex, you're unapologetic, you're proud of who you are, even proud of your insecurities. And you have such a huge importance in my life: you made me who I am. Whatever way you want to make us work, I trust you. I just want to be with you, in whatever form it takes", he said, smiling, and then getting up and opening his bag.

"I forgot to give you something", he said, pulling a string out of the front pocket. You recognized the red glimmer. It was the heart necklace. "It's still yours to keep. Even though it's not in its original glory, it will always be yours. The necklace and my heart", he said, and you couldn't help but smile at him.

"Always so cheesy, Taylor", you said, joking as you moved your hair to the side so he could put the necklace on.

"You always loved it", he winked, and you laughed. "I do", you said, smiling.

"So, what does it all mean? Where are we?", you asked, and he shrugged. "Wherever you want us to be. I just hope that you keep me around", he told you sincerely.

"I will. So, we're not going back to our old ways, right? We're not back at sharing a flat and stuff", you said, and he nodded. "Sure".

"And you're going to spend a month away, all around the world. I don't want you to feel pressured not to cheat", you said, and he nodded again.

"Yeah, and you're back in London, starting a new job. I don't want you to be worried, too", he said.

"So, maybe no exclusivity, this time? At least not now. This is still debatable, in the future", you said, and he agreed.

"Makes sense. But I'll have a hard time desiring anyone but you", Roger said in a low voice, and you laughed to break any mood that might have settled. You needed to get things clear before making out in the train cabin.

"Me too, Rog. But I don't want to create any expectations of loyalty because we know each other too well, and I don't want a stupid fight to break this thing we're building together", you said.

"It's a good idea. So, no titles, too? I can't call you my girlfriend?", he said, and you laughed.

"You can, if you want to", you told him, and he pulled you closer to him.

"Good, cause I want to call you that on the News of the World launch party, that I'm hoping you'll go as my date", he said, pressing a kiss on top of your head, breathing in your fruity smell.

"Of course I'll go. I need to see the boys again", you told him, and he laughed.

"So you're not going for me, then?", he pouted, and you laughed again.

"No, I'm just going so I can meet Deacy's kid", you told him, and it was his turn to laugh.

-

Once you got to London, Roger offered to go to the airport alone - he had to get on his flight, and he was late. He knew you had to go home and get ready for work tomorrow, but you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.

He looked relieved when you got on a cab with him to Heathrow.

"Big day tomorrow, huh", he said, rubbing your arm.

"Yeah, I still can't believe I'm finally going to work at the British Museum. It's so surreal, it feels like a dream. Like I'm living someone else's life", you said, looking out at the window, the early sunday morning reminding you of fresh starts - you were in the middle of one.

"Well, it's your life, and it's your job, cause you deserve it, babe. I never met someone who worked so hard to get where they want", Roger said, smiling, proud.

"I did. You and the boys", you said, and he huffed. "Guess you're right. Me and that pack of idiots, we turned out okay", he joked.

Once you got to the airport, you followed him to his gate.

You were feeling nervous - you had him for a week, and now it's time to say goodbye again.

You're both aware that the rest of the band is already waiting impatiently in the jet, but you can't help it - you hug him, dropping your luggage on the floor, and he does the same, the hug soon turning into a kiss as you rub your hands on each other's body, as if you're trying to remember how every inch of the other feels like, as if you're both about to disappear.

But the airport worker clears her throat, and you break the kiss, looking at each other longingly.

"Don't say goodbye", you beg Roger, putting your hand on his lips as he opens his mouth.

"See you soon", he says between your fingers. You smile at him, grateful he found a way with words so you're not repeating the same old goodbyes.

"See you soon, Roger", you say, hugging him again for a few seconds, just trying to capture every detail - his smell, the feeling of his arms around you, his body against yours.

And once he has to go into the jet, you go to the glass wall, and you can swear you see some familiar faces from the windows of the jet.

But before you can focus, soon Roger's well known face takes over the window you're watching, and he puts a hand on the glass.

You can't help but think about the last time you did that with him, him being on your place as you were inside the plane, moving to another country, your heart weighing down on you, filled with doubts.

But now your heart warmed you up, filled with joy and love, and you could feel Roger's crystal heart on top of your chest. He was right. There would be always a piece of him on you, too.

-

Epilogue: News of the World Launch Party

"Y/N! You're back!" Brian's voice welcomed you to the ballroom.

You squeezed Roger's hand - it was the first time you saw the band in years, and you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous about it.

"Darling, you're really back! We thought Roger was getting high too often and hallucinated a week in Paris with you. But I guess you did come back to him", Freddie said, hugging you by the side as he held a glass of champagne on his other hand.

"I'm back with him only so I can see you all again, of course", you said, winking at Roger as he pretended to be offended.

But then you heard Deacy and Veronica scream your name in unison, and you turned to see them.

"So you're really back!!" Deacy said, but your eyes were on the baby boy on his lap.

"This is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.", you said, trying to get his attention. Roger looked at you, adoringly, as you moved your eyes to Veronica.

"Ronnie!! You're so big!" you said, trying to hug her through her belly. "It's coming out in a few months! It's a boy, Michael. Someone our young Rob can play with", she said, and Roger frowned.

"I could swear it was a girl", he said, and John smiled. "Maybe next time", he said.

"Hey, Bob. Do you want to play with me? C'mon", you said, and he motioned to go to your arms. You picked him up as he started playing with your hair.

"You'd be a good mom, Y/N", Veronica said, and you got tense. "God, Ronnie, don't even joke about this", you said, and Roger chuckled. "It's a sensitive topic at the moment", he explained.

"The moment will take quite some time, you know", you told him, the youngest Deacon pulling your earring before playing with the crystal heart on your neck.

You talked to the boys and Veronica for a while, updating each other, but no one brought up how you and Roger got back together. It just felt natural - no need to question.

You stayed with Roger for the whole night - behind the cameras as he did press, by his side during dinner - where he was back at his old ways, teasing you lightly with his hand under the table. You felt good in his arms, getting back into his life.

He was interested in getting back into your life, too. He came back to London last night, and went straight to dinner with you. You were trying different food, and now was time to try Indian food.

As he ate his Chicken Tikka Masala, dipping the naan in the sauce, you invited him for a party your bosses would be throwing next month to celebrate a new exhibit.

He gave you a bright smile. "I'd love to be your date, my love", he said.

And after the Deacons went home - Robert was asleep on his father's lap - the party got louder, the dance floor more full. You could swear you saw an angular face that could only belong to Bowie pick someone to dance - was this Princess Leia? - but before you could process the whole situation, Roger pulled you to dance.

"Thought you didn't dance, Mr Taylor", you told him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you tried to slow dance to All The Young Dudes, by Mott The Hoople.

"I don't dance very well, indeed. But it's just an excuse to be so close to you in public, and God, I'm dying to call you Ms Taylor", he said, and you chuckled.

"Take it slower, Rog", you told him, and he leaned in to rest his head on the curve of your neck. "And why do you want to be close to me in public? Is it still one of your weird fetishes?", you joked, and you felt him laugh against your skin.

"No, it's just that you've been killing me with this dress of yours, and you've been killing a lot of the guys here, too. Could swear I saw Bowie checking you out", he told you, and you gasped.

"Taylor, don't even joke about this. I'd have a heart attack", you said, and he laughed. "You'd leave me here for Bowie, is that it?", he asked, and you laughed.

"Of course not. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he might acknowledge my existence", you said, and it was his turn to laugh. "The only eyes I really like to feel on me when I look away are yours, Rog", you said, and he gave you a quick kiss.

"Okay, had enough of trying to dance. Let's get some fresh air", he told you, and you followed him to the balcony.

As the cold, fresh air brushed against your exposed skin, you heard the first notes to Tiny Dancer, by Elton John. You walked to the balcony, leaning in and taking in the view of London at night.

Roger soon took you into his arms, hugging you from behind, and you felt safe, his body heart making you warm in the cold evening as he jokingly whispered "Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man" into your ear, and you scoffed. "Slower, Taylor", you told him, and he laughed.

"However you want it, babe", he said, now paying attention to the view, focusing on the feeling on you in his arms again. Finally.

 But oh how it feels so real

Lying here with no one near

Only you and you can hear me

When I say softly, slowly

 "I could die right now, Y/N. I'm just... happy. I've never felt this type of happiness before. I'm just exactly where I want to be", Roger said in his husky voice, and you nodded lightly in agreement.

Because in Roger's arms, you feel home. You feel what you hoped to feel for years - what got you to move to London in the first place. You feel like you belong.

---

1988 Special

Taglist:

@taylorroger-s @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @its-nessi @anamcg317 @frenchieswiftie @queen-danielle-dani-dan @minihemo @shutup-sorry @theyrealllegends @killerqueenisthebest @ashagracelove @hardy-s @fuckinghurricanesoul @secretsweetscollectionblog @mrswinterhater @11mb0 @tamtam-go92 @derptatosaur @brianandthemays @phantom-fangirl-stuff @the-hysterical-queen @rogerofmylife @notevenlxvely @discodeakyy @x1975sos @16wiishes @jennycidesstuff @partydulce @melros-e @onevisionliz

[edge-lorde]

Savage Eden

by K. M. Ashman

Once upon a time, in the not so distant past, a looming ice age threatens the existence of all Two-feet in the ice walls path, both neanderthal and modern human alike. their only hope for survival lies in joining forces and learning from each others ways in order to come up with some new form of protection. 

but winter is not here yet, and a third group of Two-feet has been pillaging all local modern human clans, eating those they kill and taking the survivors as slaves. for their first act of cooperation, can the neanderthals and modern humans team up to save one mans 5-year-old son, and end an age-old curse along the way?

lets find out!

believeablity: 6. magic is never implied to exist in this story, but it is fantastical nonetheless. first off, we have the return of PSYCHIC NEANDERTHALS, yes indeed! the neanderthals, or mrllwllch, as they call themselves, both have the ability to remember things about their ancestors histories without being told, and to communicate via telepathy. the latter is experienced by just “knowing” when they are being called by one of their compatriots or by sharing images in each others minds. after a while of being among them, a modern human character begins to experience this as well, but i dont think he could send images. it could be that all humans have latent psychic abilities and neanderthals are the only ones that have evolved to make use of them, but it doesnt really matter because the psychic thing is not a major plot point at all. it comes in handy but is never really addressed.

 it is said to sort of take the place of language in the mrllwllch group, though the do also have a spoken language, but at the beginning of the book they seemed to need to speak it very little. then when they meet up with the modern humans they start learning their language and very rapidly become fluent, and often speak to modern humans and each other in either language. this makes the whole psychic thing just feel like an add-on because it seems that they are not reliant on it at all.

they also may have a better sense of smell, more strength, and possibly an ability to sleep anywhere, but that could be just better clothing technology. they have huge furr capes that they can wrap themselves up in completely. they also can travel much faster than modern humans for reasons that are never explained. 

and as a quick aside, the 3rd human group, called the baal-- their whole cannibalism and cruelty culture is so movie monster-ish i knocked off a few points just for them. 

characterization: 7. the movie monster evil stereotype is saved for the baal, but the modern humans are still the main characters and very few of the mrllwllch characters are differentiated enough from each other to call them real characters. the same can be said for many of the modern human hunter characters however, so it does not seem to be an issue of characterization so much as focus. the focus of the story is on the modern human clan so those characters are naturally more fleshed out. 

still, im a bit disappointed. there are 3 differentiated mrllwllch characters, one is the neanderthal version of the main character, the 2nds big character point is that he falls in love with a human when mrllwllch dont do monogamy, and the 3rd is possibly the most interesting but is a huge huge spoiler and only has 1 scene. 

overall, they are given the same character treatment as the modern human side characters. 

the baal, on the other hand... their entire culture seems to be based around violence and every baal we meet has the same views on the matter. why they are like this is sort of explained but not gone into depth over.

interspecies sex: 2. there are 2 interspecies couples in the book, one of them are between main characters and they have sex in-media-res as they say, though there are no written out sex scenes. 

one of the members of the other couple basically just yells out “yeah, we fucked!!!” after the other one was already dead, so no sex scene there either. 

hybrids: 1. though there are 2 ‘thal/mh couples that could have produced children, if they did/do, it didnt make it into the book. no hybrid characters and no mentions of hybrids, except in the general way in that the mrllwllch and the main modern human clan are said to eventually become one people, but neither of the aforementioned couples stay in that clan, so no hint to that happening anytime soon. 

accuracy: 4. some stuff is based on real science but a lot definitely isnt. like the neanderthals having stronger muscles on one side from doing repetitive movements with their dominant hands/arms is in there, but they also drink milk directly from the cow when they should all be lactose intolerant. they also all have red hair, and while there is some genetic evidence at least some of them could have been redheads, i dont think anyone thinks that that means they all were. they also use bone flutes, and the legitimacy of that is still debated. they were also probably not psychic.

theres also a bit where the mrllwllch have a huge cave where they place all of their deads bones, and if you dont get placed there eventually you cant get into neandertheaven. if paleoarcheologists had found a huge cave where millions of neanderthal bones had been placed lovingly that would be a big fucking deal and i dont think that thats happened. theres also another cave where 13 neanderthal skeletons are arranged in a circle that i dont think is based off real archaeology. they also use blow darts that are lovingly carved with animal designs, which i dont think have ever been attributed to neanderthals, though they were made out of wood and so impossible to prove they didnt make art out of a thing that wouldnt survive to the modern day. 

the venus statue stone carvings also make an appearance but are not attributed to either modern humans or neanderthals, or the baal for that matter. im pretty sure in real life all of the statues are assumed to be made by modern humans.

the baal are another issue all together. i keep bringing them back up because the book mentions several other “Two-feet” groups existing, but the baal are the only other ones that make a living appearance and its never made clear which other hominin they are. there are two main candidates in my mind: denisovans or homo floresiensis (hobbits). i say densiovans because i think there could have a time/place where they, modern humans, and neanderthals could have been near each other at the same time, and i say floresiensis because they are described as child-sized. possibly they could be homo erectus...? my homo knowledge extends to two hominins only, but the inclusion of another human group actually makes this book rather unique among neanderthal books. 

now, how accurate is it that floresiensis, erectus, or denisovans were hunting, enslaving, and butchering modern humans on a massive scale at any point in history? not very.... i also dont think weve ever found evidence of any other hominin ever modifying their teeth into sharp points but the baal do it.... all of the baal existing hurts the accuracy score TT0TT.

honestly though, i dont think its that bad that this book is just a fun bloody romp and not really accurate, it shows how recent scientific discoveries inspire the imagination and change the perspective of our past. maybe once im done with all my book readings i could write a neanderthal throughout history comparison report......

[tumblunni]

Fuckinghell i got to That Part in USUM and it was even worse than i expected

Kfuckinh fuck i alreadyhated lusamine cos i hadan abusivemum like that in real life but this time i wanted to fucking stab her actual eyes out with my thumbs! How can a bad writing flub trigger such a huge ass panic attack in me!! Am i really that pathetic!! God im just sitting with my face in a fan cos im overheated as fuck i was all fight or flight mode just about hitting the A button and knowing the next scene i get will be Somehow Lusamine Was Right, in the place of the execellent callout scene lillie got in the original. So much actual detailed analysis of child abuse and now NOPE ITS OKAYMOMMY HURT U FOR A GOOD CAUSE

And what i hate so much is that they didmt even completely rewrite it! This isnt even an 'alternate universe story' where lusamine was a good mom, which would already be problematic in context but at least there'd be an excuse for it. Nah instead they just left in all the foreshadowing leading up to her being abusive and all the scenes of her being a fucl but just at the last second its ok cos something something necrozma.

Things that are still canon in this universe:

lillie and gladion ran away from their mother and nearly died on the streets and all that

Lusamine still controlled how much they acted and looked and etc that lillie has anxiety over picking her own damn clothes in a shop (and gladion mentions the same in an optional dialogue that also wasnt removed)

"Oh no its a big reveal that aether foundation is evil and working with team skull and they kidnapped lillie and now u have to fight thru an entire foundation full of evil murderous adults and also faba the fuckmeister supreme"

Lusamine wants to murder cosmog to open an ultra wormhole and laughs about it

Lusamine has an entire fuckin secret room full of pokemon corpses preserved in ice so they'll 'stay beautiful and never disobey'

Lusamine tells her kids theyre disgusting for disobeying her and she doesnt love them and never did and also they are selfish cunts for daring to want to be not abused

Then she fuckin attacks them, and you fight

Fuckin ALL THEY CHANGED was that at the end shes like 'but i do it cos necrozma bad and i was really save world'. And the writers seem to think that this somehow justifies her actions rather than just making her an equally evil equally abusive person who just has a dumb knight templar reason for why she thinks she's in the right. Like maybe you could say this would make her more redeemable in the end, i guess?? Like if she actually had a proper redemption plotline you could use this as a springboard to jump off in order to create that plotline. That she was once good and her evilness is a very specific sort of 'murder and hate is justified because my purpose is so important' kind of thing, which should honestly have led to her personality being entirely different and written entirely different. But you still actually have to write a redemption route! Shes not just suddenly good because she has a motive for being evil! And shes not even as redeemable as the other villain bosses, if we only hear about her 'good reason' AFTER we see her do everything evil! And her evil is so much more personal than the other bosses! Like maxie and archie were still likeable eveb before their VERY EXTENSIVE AND WELL WRITTEN redemption plot, because their evil plot was abstract and nonsensical ('destroy world') rather than actual detailed real life crimes to characters we care about. Abd very manipulative and deliberate ones! Maxie and Archie had it established very early on that they THOUGHT what they weredoing would improve the worls even if it was obvious they would actually destroy it. Lusamine didnt abuse her kids accidentally or because of a mistake, the only way she thought she was doing the right thing is that she thought her kids were ungrateful evil fucks who deserved being hurt because they MERELY WOULDNT OBEY HER EVERY WHIM! And we see this from the perspective of the kids who are very much just goddamn innocent kids and very much show actual realistic ptsd symptoms and relateable stories of abuse. So yeah lusamine already starts at a higher tier of villainy that would require more redemption than archie and maxie, even if you can technically say 'maybe her plan to beat necrozma via pet murder and child abuse might actually work'. (Or, in the origonal, that technically her plan was just to fuck off to another dimension of obedient mindless slave jellyfish and never come back, which is technically less wprld damaging than the hoenn guys.)

And just MANNNN what i really hate is that they didnt remove anything except like.. The parts where you sympathise with the kids. I feel like the scene of lillie at the clothes shop early on and the dramatic break in to aether paradise were just left in out of laziness more than anything. Like theres a lot of stuff that seems 'oh we have to do that cos thats how it went last time, but lets half ass it and rewrite the dialogue shorter and rush to my New Bits'. I feel like if someone played this first before sun and moon then half of the plot wouldnt make sense! But why did they choose to leave in just enough that it made lusamine still look like a monster, if she never gets her comeuppance!!!

And man i really fucking hate how they rewrote lillie and gladion during the big plot swrrve into LUSMINE HAD GUD REASONS 2 DO THE THING. Lillie says barely anything and gladion is suddenly all 'please stop because I CANT LOSEYOU ASWELL AS DAD, MOM' not fuckin please stop because you are murdering nebby and you just told me you dont love me. Andthen hebegs her to take him with her to fight necrozma becauseits type null's destiny to be a beast killer?? When just five seconds ago hehad unchanged dialogue about how he saved type null becauze he saw it was born and raised to be what its 'parent' wanted it to be, just like how lusamine abusively raised him. Like fuckin entire story about him escaping to be himself and give this lil frankendog a chance at a real normal life, just WHOOOSH right over the new writer's head...

And then THE FUCKIN WORST BIT is that they kept the same scene of lillie sleeping in lusamine's bed but changed all the dialogue to just 'i'll sleep here' *scene ends* rather than 'i remember when i used to sleep in her bed after nightmares when i was like five and thats the last time i can remember that it felt like she actually loved us, i need to sleep here again to say goodbye and steel myself to fight to save the world next time we see her'

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha nuance what is that complexity who is she never heard of her

Fuck that scene was so relateable cos thats literally what i did the day before i ran away from home.fuck you for removing it.

Fuck this game really is like a weirdass rom hack some other guy did of a game he didnt understand. It at least makes me feel better to know it was directed by a different team and isnt considered the 'final full version' like platinum and emerald and stuff. I felt practically gaslit when i was tryong to reconcile the idea someone could write a complex analysis of child abuse and then unwrite it as if it was never important. Was it never really intended to be abuse at all and i was just imagining it?? But nah no its just someone else handling the expansion pack for a game and turning it into an 'alternative story' with his different lame motiveless Bad Legendary villain cos somehow he didnt think the original was good enough. Fuck, it was the most emotional most terrifying villain boss of all time, fuckin geez what is wrong with you!

GUZMAAAA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUUU

oh yeh did i mention that also Still Exists but the npc thats implied to be his abusive dad has his dialogue slightly rewritten to be 'my kid ran away on a pikemon journey and beat me' not 'i beat my kid but he beat me back'

God fuck u fuck this fuck EVERYTHING what goddamn motives do you have for removing a goddamn How To Spot Child Abuse manual for kids in game form. THIS ENTIRE PLOT WAS SO IMPORTANT IF I SAW THIS AS A KID I WOULDNT HAVE TRIED TO KILL MYSELF

gahhhahahahhhhh

[bwshines]

The Vamps Night & Day (Night Editon) Reaction

First sorry if you follow me only for Shawn here haha but I’m about to fangirl (really hard sorry) about the new album of these idiots thanks bye 

I wrote all of these while listening to that songs so excuse me if its a bit a mess but it’s a good representation of what was happeningin my mind haha, lets go now :

- Okay but MOTN IS MY JAM LIKE I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH but we all already know it so thats “fine”

- All Night “AND THE CIRCLES UNDERNEATH MY EYES TELL THE THRUTH IVE BEEN TRYIN TO HIDE” YAAAAAAS MA BOYY still love it until death

- of course HANDS « YOU SAY YOU BETTER WITH THE HAAAAAAAANDS » I feel sexy with this song haha

- okay now SAME TO YOU first song i didn’t listen before AND HOLY SHIT THE MUSIC STARTED I WAS NOT READY  AND OH LORD MF IM SHAKING SO BAD HIIIIIIS VOICE WHAT THE FUCK THE PRE CHORUS IM LOST MY BREATH oh my ... AND THE FUCKING BRIDGE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HIS VOICE HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT is tat heaven this is so good written

- PAPER HEART I thought i was ready as I already heard it with videos but I was EMOTIONAL TRUST ME THIS WAS ME

 HOLY DAMN FUCKING HELL HE JUST DID THE « Hold iiiiiiiiiit » AT THE END OF THE FIRST CHORUS IM DYING I LOST ALL MY SHIT IM ALRIGHT IM ALRIGHT oh fuck his voice during the bridge GUYYYYYYS I CANT

- « I GOT MY SHADES ON LIKE IM ROCKING BARBADOS ALL NIGHT AND EVERYBODY THINKS IM HIGH TAKING MY JEANS OFF BUT I'M KEEPING MY SHADES ON ALL NIGHT AND EVERYBODY STOP”  GIRL IM ENJOYING MYSELF SO MUCH I DONT HAVE BREATH ANYMORE IM DANCING TOOOOOO MUCH  I FUCKING LOVE EVEN MORE THE STUDIO VERSION « OH BOY LOOK AT THAT ASS OH BOY LOOK AT THAT ASS »  OH BOY LOOK AT ME DIE LOOK AT ME DIE

- ITS A LIE i was really waiting for this song I expected this song to be so good and if Tini was not on it (sorry really) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO FREAKIN MORE AMAZING THAN IT ALREADY IS……..but THE BRIDGE THE BRIDGE THE BRIDGE THEEEEE BRIIIIIDGE

- STAY MY FAV MY FAV MY FAV BEFORE I LISTEN TO THE ALBUM SO I WAS EXPECTING A LOOOOOT AND NOW PREPARE MY GRAVE BC DAMMIT HIS VOICE I CRAWLED INTO A LITTLE CORNER AND FREAKIN DIED THERE «  so you can find me the tallest building in the tallest city » still my fav lyric ever in this amazing song azihefzrgmoaejgea but also « and you can wear my favorite t shirt » fucked me up A LOT  OH LORD THE BRIDGE I WAS NOT READY HAHA (thats a nervous laugh BECAUSE IM CRYING RN)  HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSS VOIIIIIIIIIIIICCEEEEEE LET ME DIE IN PEACE THATKS

- WOW I WAS STILL DYING BC OF STAY AND IVE BEEN ATTACKED BY MY PLACE HAHA AND WOW SO GOOD I TOTALLY CAN IMAGINE MYSELF ENJOYING MY TIME AT THEIR CONCERT SINGING THIS I GONNA SCREAM THOSE LYRICS I CAN TELL U THAT

- AND LORD SAD SONG I LOVE THE MUSIC AAAAAAAAH AND OF COURSE TH ELYRICS AHAZIOAOIFHAE I MEAN JUST A GOOD SONG FOR A COOL LITTLE DANCE ITs like the only song that kinda makes me more peaceful because the others are like EITHER YOU FUCKING MOVE THAT ASS AND ENJOYING YOUR LIFE EITHER YOU GO CRY IN A CORNER 

SUM UP : FUCKING AWESOME I LOVE IT IM SO PROUD THEY SEEM SO PROUD OF THIS ALBUM AND DAMN YOU GUYS CAN BE BC THIS FUCKING AWESOME THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ALBUM TO JUST BE HAPPY AND DANCE ALL THE NIGHT .

..and also THE BRIIIIIDGES thats all i have to say thanks bye haha Im gonna cry under my bed now oknobye 

[anideawhosetimehascome]

rant about music~

OH MY GOD this makes me feel so warm and fuzzy I can’t stop smiling. Thank you so much. I’m so grateful for this opportunity.

This is gonna be so messy just prepare yourself.

I have to say, right now, my favorite band is City and Colour. I’ve been saying that for awhile, maybe half a year or even a year, god it’s been a long year. I’ve bought two concert tickets to see him. I had to sell the first one (it was a really good seat, third row :(..) but hopefully I can see him with his band with my other ticket (general admission smh) and once more on a fully solo tour like the first ticket I bought.

One Direction comes next as always but each individual member of one direction is ranked differently… louis, harry, liam, and niall in terms of whose music I care most about. I know louis has only put out one collab so far but he’s my favorite,of course I’m most excited for his stuff.

AND I BOUGHT A TICKET TO SEE HARRY HOLY FUCK !!!! I GOT A SEAT IN SECTION 5 IN PHOENIX SO FUCKING CLOSE TO THE STAGE. I GOT SO LUCKY BECAUSE I WAS A COUPLE MINUTES LATE AND I GOT AN AMAZING SEAT. THE PIT IS IN FRONT OF ME AND SO IS 30 OTHER ROWS BUT THATS IT IM GOING TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH HIM AND HEAR HIS BEAUTIFUL CROONING VOICE LIVE AFTER 5 LONG YEARS. I’m just trying to imagine doing the same with louis and my head is exploding. Shoutout to my mom for letting me use her debit card since I haven’t got any paychecks yet.

Protest the hero is an anomaly in my life, I really haven’t been into them in like over a year, but they remain top 3 because I can’t let them go. I love all of their albums (except I only listened to their most recent one once rip) but if I ever got to see them live I would know almost every song IF NOT every single one by heart and that’s an experience I haven’t gotten to have yet. Hopefully twice this year I’ll have that. Maybe I’ll look out for a protest the hero tour and see if I can swing a ticket.

After that it’s really hard to rank everything. I have my favorite albums that differ from favorite artists.

Alt-J is high on my list. They’ve put out some really good shit. I liked An Awesome Wave multitudes more than the other album. I’m hoping his most recent one kinda brings them back to that era.I wish I could travel to the U.K. to see Aquilo. Their album Silhouettes is the best fucking album EVER and yet they’re so small they can only tour their tiny home country. They need more recognition.The Shins are coming to a local venue only a couple hours away and it blows my mind because I fell in love with Wincing the Night Away but they have a plethora of other albums that I didn’t love and I wouldn’t feel right going to a concert where I only knew like 3 of the songs. I wish they did a Wincing the Night Away revival tour where they only sang songs from that album just to appease me lmao.Kendrick’s new album is such a mindfuck. That’s been on repeat the past few weeks. I need to listen to his other stuff too.Sweet Sexy Savage by Kehlani is the genre I’ve been really into lately. That sultry R&B pop is just SO delicious. It’s like nothing else I’ve ever heard before. Her voice is like brown sugar and butter. Everything she does with the instrumentals, her voice, and the backing track is just MIND BLOWING I love it so much.Of course The Weeknd has to come in here. I just saw him live a week ago. It was the best concert I’ve ever been to (the only other one was Taylor swift. She sounds good live, but I’m not a huge fan). STARBOY IS THE BEST ALBUM EVER SERIOUSLY. I was a bit disappointed he didn’t sing more tracks from Starboy because I didn’t know some of the ones from his older albums. Also perpetually disappointed that kendrick never showed up for sidewalks.

Old Crows/Young Cardinals by Alexisonfire has been very high on my list lately. Reminiscent of protest the hero for the reasons I like them, but their voices are COMPLETELY different. It always takes me awhile to get used to screaming and really rough jagged voices, but once I do, I’m either head over heels in love with them or I fucking hate them. Usually the former. If Dallas Green (city and colour) wasn’t involved in this band, I would have never touched them.

Spirit by Depeche Mode has also been a genre I’ve got into lately. I just kept seeing the same fucking google ad every time I opened the app “Spirit by Depeche Mode is out now!” why the FUCK google gave me that ad I don’t know, but it caused me to find one of my most treasured albums. It’s very politically charged which I LOVE. I see the message of each song loud and clear as a movie in my head and it makes me fall deeper in love with it each time.

Now I’ve forgotten everything else, so I’ll start going through albums alphabetically.

Arctic Monkeys is a band I really need to listen to more. I’ve only listened to A.M. once fully through and only stuck with a couple of the songs. I listened to Humbug and liked it a LOT more, so I have a feeling I’ll love their older stuff.

Ahhh how could I forget about CATFISH AND THE BOTTLEMEN. God I spent an hour on YouTube watching them play old versions of The Balcony the other day, it was the best live video I’ve ever watched. He sounded even better than on the album, and I was transported to those shows for that moment where he seemed to be playing in some seedy basement. I wanted to see them live last year for my birthday but didn’t get a ticket. Maybe I’ll be able to get one sometime soon. That’s a band I NEED to see live before I die. They are fucking amazing. Their songs are everything I love about bands.

I’ve listened to a bit of Two Door Cinema Club. I need to listen to more. It’s hard with Apple Music. As you can see I have so fucking much to listen to and it never ends. I think I like music… a lot more than most people. It’s weird to think about. But anyway. Sun, that’s a good song.

Space Oddity by Bowie makes me feel high. R.I.P.

Frank Ocean has been a recurring name lately. Chanel and Self Control are two gems of his.

Cold by Maroon 5 and Future is one of my guilty pleasure songs. I could listen to it for hours and it wouldn’t get old. I don’t even know why I find it so orgasmic.

Cake is one of those bands that wormed their way into my heart a long time ago and I don’t really know how or why and I haven’t listened to enough of their songs because they have too many albums and they’re all from the 90s and I’m so young yet I feel so old when I listen to them. It makes no sense and I love it.

The Dark Side of the Moon. Need I say more? Yes. Us and Them. Brain Damage. Eclipse.

I’m a fan of Blackbear’s new album digital druglord. Very different from what I usually listen to. I don’t always have a usually, but when I do, Blackbear’s not in it.

Message to Bears is the best study music. They’re what I put on when I need to have a quiet night with some undertones of depression and existential realization. Still one of my low key favorites that I always forget about.

FOUR saved the music industry.

I need to reiterate how perfect Protest the Hero is. Listen to Kezia. LISTEN TO IT.

Oh, every time I get the chance to rant about this I will. Little Hell by City and Colour is an album about going from Catholic to atheist, and each song is showing his progression in realizing that. Now this is just my headcanon, but with the first song being about “finding each other in the dark” sounding suspiciously like someone finding God and the last song being a blatant message on being raised religious but rejecting the “make believe” stories. I could theory craft on this album all day. It has seriously made me reconsider naming Sometimes, his first album ever, my favorite, and instead reclaiming Little Hell, City and Colour’s third studio album, as my new favorite. But since it’s just a theory and I have yet to confirm or deny anything, I’ll keep it at my second.

Listen… I know he’s a snake but Zayn’s album was actually really good. I literally haven’t touched it for a year but I really enjoyed it for a long time.

I like the Radiohead quote. I’m not like that at all but I can get into their music, like Nice Dream. Maybe because when I found that song I would have related to that quote. Music is so strange, man.

The Beach Boys, Coldplay, The Boxer Rebellion, Fun., Syd Matters, Breton, The National, Secret & Whisper, G-Eazy, and Bastille all get honorable mentions for being some of my favorites at one point in time.

I hate how into music I am. But I love it so fucking much. I remember in 2010 when I bought a Britney Spears song on the radio and I decided to listen to the mixtape my friend made me because I needed some new music. It changed my life forever because it opened me up to a whole new world that I had never heard before. I’m eternally grateful to her for introducing me to musical curiosity. I will never get over it and I don’t want to.

Despite what I’ve written, I’ve only just now realized how much music I have on my Apple Music library that I’ve literally added and never listened to. I need to work on that.

[tidethreads]

Im that disappointed 5sos fan anon lol. Ok let’s start with: what the fuck?! Youngblood album sounds kinda amateur-ish. I am really surprised that this album sounds very radio pop-y. Also wearing nail polish and glitter on stage isn’t exactly gender bending like people in theatres have been doing that for ages. Can you review youngblood pls (i mean if you dont want to thats ok)

Same anon (sorry for my english its my second language heheheehe)

Oh you don’t have to apologise for your English (it’s great, really), it’s not my first language either, don’t even worry. x

I wasn’t all that surprised by the sound, all the uncertainty around the release and the eventual delays and re-recordings kind of tipped me off that lots of people had a say in how it was gonna sound and that it had to be sonically accesible to people etc. In all honesty, though, I don’t think that worked out.

Moving onto my review of the songs. I’m putting a read more because it got quite long, also I know I still have a lot of followers who like 5SOS so don’t hate me as most of my reviews are neutral/critical/negative. I’m open to discussion, though.

Youngblood: Don’t really have much to say about this, it’s pretty average to me, quite nice to listen to after the letdown that was WYB. I was disappointed by the live performances of this, though, Luke’s not a bad singer but this song live is just… not that great.

Want You Back: Ugh it’s clear this was an effort to include some super radio-friendly songs. This was reportedly written last and after the initial weird delays surrounding the album so it’s even clearer this was some kind of effort to produce a song that pleases “the masses”. I didn’t like the music video. As to the lyrics, I’m not the biggest fan but I appreciate the little details (freckles on your back etc.), other than that they are too general and repetitive and boring.

Lie To Me: Ahhhhh I have so many emotions when it comes to this song. It’s a big fuck you from me to anyone who shaded me and anyone else who remarked how unhealthy the influence that relationship had on Luke. I loved it when we first heard it live, I was so excited for the studio version and then the studio version just… sucked. I hate the production, I’m not into the vocalisation and that has made me not want to listen to it at all, when it’s one of the songs that get me the most, emotionally speaking, and I like the lyrics as well.

Valentine: Similar issue as with Lie To Me. I loved the live performance and felt let down by the studio version. The lyrics are generally good and cute except for a few minor lines I dislike (“classic together like egyptian gold” ??) but that’s personal preference. All in all a cutesy song that makes me all soft, I love happy cute love songs.

Talk Fast: I just feel nothing when I listen to this song. Nothing at all. It’s regrettably forgettable and all I can think of when I hear is that it would be good as a movie soundtrack. The bridge is too random for me.

Moving Along: Yes, finally a good song. I like the lyrics, I like the theme (Luke’s breakup songs about Arz are fascinating to me). It gives good insight into what he was feeling after the breakup, and honestly everything about that relationship interests me, I was /incredibly/ emotionally invested in it.

If Walls Could Talk: The most thematically interesting song on the album, without a doubt. The feeling that their fans would stop adoring them if they knew about the band members’ private lives, including the not so nice parts? Fascinating. Another song that the production kind of ruins for me - I just don’t like this sound very much. Also, the lyrics could have been better.

Better Man: Cheesy concept and cheesy lyrics but I like the chorus quite a bit (except for the “darling”). The pre-chorus after the second verse should have had different lyrics IMO. Also I don’t like the bridge (“you’re the only love that could make this bad man better” ?? really ?). Also the way Luke sings “better” in the chorus makes it sound like he’s imitating a british accent.

More: A little too rock for me but that’s personal taste and it’s not bad, I quite enjoy listening to it. Another song that’s painfully obviously about Arzaylea, which, again I like since it gives insight into the relationship.

Why Won’t You Love Me: The first verse is nice, I’ll give the song that. The rest I’m not the biggest fan of, I mean the chorus sounds immature and whiny and I get a mixture of bored and annoyed when I listen to the song in general.

Woke Up In Japan: I just… don’t get the song. I don’t have a lot to say about it, I’m not into the sound of this either.

Empty Wallets: Why is this song on the album. I can imagine it’s cool live but it’s another song I just can’t bring myself to care for. God, the further we get the less I can say about these songs.

Ghost Of You: Probably my favourite song sonically. The first time I heard it I immediately thought it was another breakup song about Arz, but someone said it was about the girl’s suicide so idk. Sad but pretty song. I saw a post on here by someone I’m not gonna name because I’ve had an issue with them once in the past, but they were basically pointing out that the song is in three quarter time and you could tell they were kind of feeling themselves for spreading this “inside knowledge” of how three quarter times are “dance songs” and I mean yeah, waltzes are in three quarter time but I was rolling my eyes so hard that everyone was praising the blog for being so insightful and thanking them for “sharing this knowledge”.

Monster Among Men: Finally something sung by Michael. Also, as I’m typing this the chorus is starting and I’m suddenly remembering why I don’t like this song. If I remember correctly, this is one of the songs Julia Michaels was involved in, which I have mixed feelings about. The chorus ruins the song for me, I’m not even interested enough to think about the lyrics.

Meet You There: All I can think of when I hear this how Arz leaked part of this. The lyrics are kinda cute (?) but sonically I hate that part after “I’ll meet you there” - you know what I mean. It’s the opposite of what I like listening to - that’s obviously not their fault, though.

Babylon: Love it, this is what I wanted the entire album to sound like. Also, listening to the album back-to-back you only realise how much you’ve missed Calum’s voice when you listen to this. Probably my overall fave? It makes me smile, I like the lyrics, I like the vocals, and I’m not going to a MYT show but it seems to work well live as well. Actually, the further the song progresses the more I like it. I’m gonna have to add this to my spotify songs now. (The only thing that irks me is how stereotypical this is for the trend of American writers to take a word that sounds ~exotic~ or ~cultured~ or ~decadent~ to gain people’s respect for having such a large vocabulary/are of knowledge.)