#im rlly sorry if i scared anyone. im ok now.

[paingoes]

Destroyer - A Sentence of Sorts

(Masterlist)

(Content: mass death, alcohol, physical abuse, verbal abuse, guilt, self loathing, minor suicidal ideation, implied self harm)

=======================

Delta read the death toll again. 2,367 was the beginner estimate. There was not as much outcry as there was about Lemuria, nor was there the same circus of gore. The fact that it was an attack on Nezu did little to comfort him. He didn’t care for the nuances. In him there was an almost childlike sensibility. He diligently added the new deaths to his personal count. In his half-asleep state, what felt like the great tragedy was not the number itself, but the fact that it could never be reduced. It was the math he was fixated on. It wasn’t fair.

He realized quickly after re-entering the Empire portal that it had been bifurcated between the two sides of the war. He also realized, to his shock, that he’d been grouped into Nezu’s side. He’d actually forgotten that he’d stolen the laptop from one of Nezu’s people. They must have been either dead or on vacation; no one else was ever active on any of the accounts. He had to re-configure a lot of the settings and passwords to regain access to the portal, no doubt indicating a massive security crisis on their side. He scanned the bulletin they’d posted. Saber rattling. In memoriam.

Empire could not afford this war. They’d already stretched themselves thin across the different fronts, practically at the height of their expansionism when the Emperor had died. They faced opposition from a host of recognized nations, as well as a new crop of organized resistance groups that existed solely to topple the whole thing. Empire still wasn’t weak, not by any stretch of the imagination. Its power structure was decentralized enough to survive the past months without anyone at the helm. But Paris and Nezu forcing Empire in half threatened to break the entire web into a whole spectrum of disjointed pieces.

Delta paused. Did he want that? He thought of it as a kind of apocalypse scenario, but he supposed it was technically in alignment with his own goals. With the civil war raging, Empire was planting the seeds of its own demise. But they were just seeds.

He looked back at the death toll. There’d be hell to pay before it finally broke apart. 

He posted the next leak to a new thread, quickly shutting out of the tab before he had time to see anyone’s reaction. He updated semi-regularly now, attaching both current plans and declassifying older files from the early days of Empire. The latter was more for his own curiosity than anything else. To him, it felt like a small act. He was used to the light shows, bold acts of destruction and slaughter. Working with intel was so much subtler; it was hard to trace any development back to something he had released. All he had were suspicions, really. Suspicions and a few messages.

katkittykat: ok rlly can i ask where ur getting this shit

katkittykat: whos ur connection hehehe :3

ndhakdvsnnd: nobody and i dont know what youre talking about

katkittykat: its a lil late to play coy yknow

katkittykat: u dont have 2 b scared of me!!! i want to help u

ndhakdvsnnd: shut up

katkittykat: wtf!!! rude >:3

katkittykat: pretend that face is frowning but its still a cat

katkittykat: wait i got it

katkittykat: /ᐠoᆽoᐟ \╭∩╮

sunspot: Hey thanks again for the leak !! Im sorry about kitty actually im sorry about both of us

sunspot: We arent trying to push you into anything really we are just curious about you

sunspot: Sorry if its stressing you out i would probably be stressed out too in your situation 

ndhakdvsnnd: you dont know fuck about my situation

sunspot: Yeah thats true! But I know youve been helping us a lot and we are kind of worried about you 

ndhakdvsnnd: who is we why do you keep saying we

ndhakdvsnnd: yes you are stressing me the fuck out thanks for acknowledging that

ndhakdvsnnd: didnt you say you were going to stop prying id really appreciate it if you did

sunspot: Fair enough! I havent been that upfront with you either so I guess i am not in a position to be asking so much. If you want to know what is happening on our end i will tell you and maybe that will help?

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

ndhakdvsnnd: not now

sunspot: Talk later?

ndhakdvsnnd: i have to go 

sunspot: Okay be careful then! 

ndhakdvsnnd: thanks

Delta exited out. He got other messages - many, many others - but none as annoyingly persistent as those two. He didn’t know why he kept talking to them. When they answered, it was bad. When they didn’t, it was even worse. He stepped away from the computer, badly needing a break. He wouldn’t get it, of course, not for more than five minutes. He needed to go see Paris.

==========================

The bottle almost nailed him in the fucking head. Delta hissed, softly, his bright eyes flashing violently. 

“You’re late,” Paris let his head loll a little, a lazy smile quirking at his lips. Delta didn’t bother trying to defend himself. His vocal cords were still burnt out, rendering him mute for a time. He moved to the prince’s side, dropping into a kneel. Paris backhanded him before he’d even gotten all the way down. Eager today. Delta winced, immediately moving to touch the tender skin. He knew it had broken; Paris had blood on his ring. He grabbed Delta’s wrist before it could make contact and did not let go.

“Take your hair out,” He ordered. Oh. Delta had forgotten. Paris still didn’t let go of his wrist, so he had to remove the tie with one hand. He slipped it onto his wrist, letting his hair fall loosely down his back. 

“Let me see,” Paris said. Delta tilted his head a little, not understanding. After a minute, he offered Paris his other hand. Paris slid the hair tie off, doubling it over a few times to bind Delta’s wrists together. Delta let them fall in his lap. Not a particularly difficult restraint to get out of, but that didn’t matter. Delta knew better than to try it.

He didn’t understand why Paris had started calling him here again. Besides the little indiscretions with the laptop, he’d been on his best behavior. He had honestly been trying to make it easier on him, but it had no effect. Paris had been difficult before the accident. These days, he was impossible.

He was also tipsy, which was historically worse. Drunk enough to lose any inhibitions, but not drunk enough to let Delta get away with anything. It was a losing game. He was almost glad he couldn’t speak; at least he couldn’t say the wrong thing and send the prince off in a spiral. It was all too easy to do that now, but nobody paid for it the way Delta did.

“Why did you change?” 

That caught him off guard. Delta could’ve asked him the exact same thing, of course. But that wasn’t what bothered him. It was so unfair. Paris, who had all the social grace of a methed up honeybadger, could still read people without any apparent effort. Delta wilted a little bit under his gaze, a small pang of guilt striking him. He thought again about destroying the computer. He thought about it everyday. He bowed his head in apology. Not good enough, apparently. Paris kicked him onto his back. Unable to catch himself, he knocked his head into the carpet, wind knocked out from the blow. Paris had stood up.

“You think I can’t tell?” His voice was unsteady, pitchy, the way it had been ever since he got back. He was getting worked up, Delta could tell. He stifled a groan. This was going to be a long night.

“I was only out for a fucking month, what changed? Why is everyone acting like the show is over?”

Delta felt a sudden kick in his side. Paris gripped his collar. He was light; it was not hard to drag Delta off the ground, even unwillingly. Paris only did it half-way, throwing him back into the desk. Delta’s back slammed into it, again unable to catch himself. He bounced off it, back onto the ground. Slowly, he repositioned himself into a kneel, more muscle memory than conscious effort.

“You know all this could have been prevented if he just wrote a will. The old man thought he would never die. They pierced me right though the exact same place they got him, you know that? Just an inch from the heart. I didn’t ask for a civil war. It’s my birthright, I shouldn’t have to-“

Paris slapped him in the face, “Are you even listening? This is about you.”

Delta nodded, even though it clearly wasn’t. He knew Paris was just taking his anger out on him because he was there — because he couldn’t do anything about it. Delta accepted this with the kind of quiet resignation that only ever seemed to irritate the situation.

“Fucking stop!” The prince yelled. God, he was never happy. He circled behind Delta, landing a kick squarely on his shoulderblades. It sent him forward, onto his hands and knees. Before he could recover, Paris kicked him again in the side, with enough force that he fell flat onto the carpet. For some reason, the rug caught his eye. It was weaved of soft blue fiber. 

Delta thought of Lemuria — and of the ocean. Paris kicked him in the stomach, but he didn’t hear what he said. 2,367 dead, in addition to the 22,534 previous. They were all-star numbers. Paris knocked his leg out, forcing Delta flat on his back. He straddled his waist, which Delta admittedly found much harder to ignore. He winced as Paris’s hands wrapped around his throat, the one still too burnt for him to speak with. His collar gave off a little dryer spark; Paris cursed. Delta thought of all the lives he’d destroyed in the past months alone, the ones he’d never know, the count that would never go down. What kind of terror did they feel in their final moments? How badly did it burn? He didn’t fight as Paris beat him. Fair is fair. Even as the grip tightened, threatening to choke off his air, he didn’t resist it. It was right that he should die. It would be right if he died 25,000 times over.

Paris didn’t give him the satisfaction. His eyes had been burning above him, but they gradually turned to cinders, the pressure letting up. He didn’t look much calmer, but he did look exhausted. He was still injured. The beating might’ve taken more out of him than it did Delta. 

Delta couldn’t ask to be dismissed. He wouldn’t have. When Paris did throw him out, he felt a vague and numinous dissatisfaction. He was being punished for the wrong reasons. It wasn’t enough. In the hallway, he unbinded his own hands. He pulled the band back against his wrist, letting it snap hard against the skin. 

[crushedsweets]

it’s been a while back so i’m w more song analysis!! this is too long i’m warning u now. in fact this might not even be readable im so sorry it’s just. so much rambling 😭

when memories snow (more mitski mm also i got tickets for her tour and i will not shut up ab it!!! she’s so cool!!!!!!!) is incredibly tim coded. the very sinister chords at the chorus, really makes you *feel* him spiralling - and the LYRICS ugh very ‘i’m trying to ignore/suppress my memories but they keep coming back against my will’ slash ‘bottling up all my feelings and forging on with my work. pretending they don’t exist’

hate yourself by tv girl is very nina x kate (in the sense of kate watching nina destroy herself for a man who does not even like her) ough. ‘i think you’d fall in love with anyone who fell in love with you / and they frequently do’ BC KATE DID!! kate fell in love with her!! also ‘i’ll just wait til those arms belong to me’ is so subtly manipulative which is very. yeah. kate’s definitely not perfect and i wouldn’t put her above being like that if she really wanted to. + the deceptively happy instrumental with vaguely dark lyrics = nina being overly outgoing and social to make up for the fact that her mental state is in absolute shambles (poor bby)

the wolf by siamés is both tim and brian but i think leans more brian (what is it with this man that makes me think of ‘walking music’. ykwim? the chain, the wolf, house of the rising sun all remind me of him. all very slow-threatening-determined-walk songs) once again, driving beat, heavy bassline. (i play bass guitar so i love a song w an interesting bass part) i think shows resilience as well as grounding - imo he’s always been one of the more mature / level-headed creeps, to the point he’s very self aware. this man knows exactly what he’s doing at all times. ‘somewhere far away i can hear your call’ even in the future when he thinks he’s escaped from slender he knows deep down he’ll never be truly free…. yes ok

keep myself alive by get scared for jane. she’s so angry - AS SHE SHOULD BE and i feel it’s just a audible version of her rage. ‘i just wanna leave this place behind / everytime i see your face in mine’ because her and jeff have the same burned face thing going on…….. ough. she can never escape from the man who ruined her life. the guitar shifting from this melancholy, reverb-y tone in the verses to the loud distortion in the chorus reflecting her mood shifting from self-pity to raw anger

bonus: class of 2013 by mitski x toby

i should rlly make a playlist for each creep but i use musi not spotify 💔

- 🌙 anon

sorry for making u read all of this ❤️

anon. oh my god. i need you to know how often i think about this ask. and how guilty i feel knowing i shouldve responded forever ago but kept putting it off. im going to respond now with shame. thank you so much for your patience. my god

when memories snow for tim is soooo real. i associate him with a longing for life before slendy, while also repressing it cuz it hurts knowing itll never ever come back. going to bars, hanging out in his friends apartments, going to class, late night driving... "I shovel all those memories, clear the path to drive to the store" i think even the imagery of him shoveling snow out of a driveway gives off that sort of strong, cold idea of him. and 'drive to the store' obv being...proxy work... SO SAD

ALSO FUCK NINAKATE MENTION IM IN TEARS ok listen. theyre both really bad. and i super agree that kate might be a bit deceptive and manipulative (intentionally or not) cuz she wants nina to completely remove jeff and take his place (NOT HIS ROLE, just his place in ninas arms). also "how long will it take before you start to hate yourself and go straight to the arms of someone else" i think its undeniable that ninas obsession with romance is related to her own self image, and kate doesnt really like herself that much either. "im not saying that you love me, im not saying anything" OHH BUT SHE WANTS NINA SOOO BAD... man.

also im absolutely in love with how you take the sound itself into account, not just lyrics. the way you explain the wolf connecting to brians determination, reslience, and grounding presense is SOOO PERFECT and i can see it in the first few lyrics as well. the also "sneaking in the pain, every truth becomes lie / i wont trust myself once i hear your call" THATS TIM AND BRIAN COME ON GUYS DO YOU HEAR THIS

also i love keep myself alive. i heavily agree she has every right to be angry, and thats a core part of her character - rage, grief, strength. "to sleep i of course think i'm stronger now / to sleep i gotta catch myself" im crying. the sleep menton + she feels alone. she has a support system, a literal wife, but she still holds all of her grief on her own shoulders. who the fuck else can relate to being violently stalked for months, walking in on your parents being tortured together, being attacked, nearly burnt alive, then LOSING your parents? also "how could this dark cloud make me stronger now" i think a lot of people would have told her that her experience made her a survivor and made her strong and whatnot. but i dont think she feels that way. i think she feels like a victim, she feels tortured, she feels like that same little girl who'd sleep in her parents bed after a nightmare - but this isnt a nightmare she can wake up from. her parents bed burnt to ashes. there is relief in just letting yourself grieve and hurt - but she's so beyond focused on being strong. and it doesnt make sense to her. doesnt make sense how she can be strong after all of that . but she is, cuz she has to be

ALSO YES OH MY FUCKING GOD CLASS OF 2013 DFUCK FUCKFUCKF FIFJF FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK i dont even need to explain why this gets me. yall already know. my god

[liauditore]

for some reason ur ask is cursed by an evil spirit and webbed site spilled spaghetti sauce all over itself when i tried to answer it so ig we're doing this now @sharksome-nen

half the board being coloured in but no bingo sums up me and this ship perfectly i think.

me being REALLY unhinged below the cut about toxic!fh (a teeny tiny bit neg/discoursey on empires if u squint). gets rlly abuse-y.

ohohohohohoh ur trying to get me killleedddddd.. :D

they're so special to me i hate them so much.

ok so uh i wrote a Whole Thing but it was getting way too ramble-y but basically uh. not a fan of romantic!fh. empires writing is very understandably not perfect and i saw some disturbing implications between the lines and couldn't help but fixate on them and it kind of soured any fluffy!fh fan content for me. sorry im a grinch and i was born with hate in my heart🙏🙏

but uh... if u take those disturbing implications out of the lines, x500 their size and severity, apply a dash of self-projection and start associating songs sung from the pov of abusers with it?? oho. ohohoho. oh that's. that's the good stuff.

i have this rlly cursed notepad doc where i basically vomit Ship Thoughts tm onto so here's the entire fh section copy+pasted. 👍

probably the most explicitly romantic and the most explicitly toxic. They DO love each other a lot. Jimmy looks up to Scott (he's so cool!) and would do anything just to live a happy life with him. I imagine that he's had a crush on him for the longest time from a distance, but didn't approach him until 3L because he didn't think Scott would look in his direction. Scott loves Jimmy deeply too but in the way someone might love a pet or a toy. "How's this poor thing going to survive on his own?" is probably what he uses to justify alot of what he puts Jimmy through. I imagine that Scott is someone who's lived a very monitored and controlled life (he gives me royalty vibes) and probably doesn't understand the extent of the abuse he's been put through or the way it's warped his perception of love. Love is a conditional commodity for him at this point in 3L and right now he's using it to buy some protection (never a good idea to go solo in a death game arena). So everytime he scolds or hits Jimmy it's always out of love, always for his own good, if he doesn't learn how to act now then someone will kill him for running his mouth eventually. Especially in the 3L Death Game. And Jimmy puts up with it and believes him because he hasn't learnt to respect himself yet. But as the games go on I do believe Scott begins to fall for Jimmy in a more genuine, kind way. Still not wholesome but he's very much not just extra numbers for safety anymore. He feels scorching regret for what he did after Jimmy dies but won't admit it to himself or anyone else. It's a selfish kind of regret, he hates himself more than he loves Jimmy, but it's still there. Post-3L Jimmy has some time away from Scott during LL before meeting Tango in DL, a partner who respects and even admires him, who gives him the space to grow and the trust to take risks that would better the both of them. Jimmy gains newfound confidence and a new perspective on his previous relationships, culminating in him actually standing up to Scott in LimL and refusing his offer to get back together. He's grown up. Scott, on the other hand, fares much more poorly. He is offered genuine love, unconditional love and it frightens him because he can't understand it (he doesn't think he's love-able). What does she want from him? He can't control Pearl the way he could with Jimmy and she Scares him. It doesn't matter, he can manage by himself (he always has) and he has an eye for finding kindred spirits. But it's not the same (he misses him). (he needs his Pet back) (he needs his Control back) He doesn't get it. final diagnosis: what should have been a beautiful love story twisted into something awful, divorced and should not re-marry even if Scott wants to.

ngl there is that.. little part of me that really wants jimmy to relapse and go crawling back cus old habits die hard, right? but on the other hand i. i want my son to be happy. sometimes.

I like writing characters with super messed up warped perceptions of love and hurt themselves and others in the process with it. its evil and sexy.

if we're gonna get into the whole song lyrics thing i really really love using mahiru's milgram songs for fh (even tho i associate scott more with muu). they just make sense to me. lyrics from haruko because i adore their covers.

(also uh these songs are about an abusive relationship and the second one has not so subtle suicide imagery in the mv so know that if ur gonna seek them out)

I'll love you till you fall And won't feel bad at all, Because I still get worried Could you please forgive me? Every little thing I only say to get to you Every little thing I do when "you and me are through" That's me loving you

Do my feelings drive you crazy? Sorry I don't care you baby. Tell me please, Tell me please, Why don't you ever love like me?

I just... i think scott genuinely caring for jimmy and wanting to keep him safe but like.. scott's brand of 'safe' is guard up at all times and manipulating those around you. and jimmy's useless at it/doesn't even catch on at all and it just ends up frustrating scott more.

Told you I loved you and then did what I did The right is gone and we're done, I'm crossed and covered in sin My love, it got it's lick back, Destroyed me, I deserved that, Tell the truth, Tell the truth, Why can't I ever love like you?

i LOVE the idea of scott regretting how he treated jimmy too late and still being in denial about it oufhlsdfhfls

so uh yeah it's an okay ship 👍

[adventuresinanarchy]

unordinary trio headcanons !!

some of these r kind of a stretch! also there's so much isen im so sorry im in love with him

isen

i hc isen to be bi with no preference

i also am in between on him being amab or afab. i see him using they/he either way tho

he's a demiboy

he's vv closeted

but remi knows

he has a (younger) twin sister and another younger (half) sister

he's found himself being in charge a lot & messing up at home, which is why he's so against taking big responsibilities (like when he becomes jack)

they have severe anxiety

and also undiagnosed adhd

he's good at keeping secrets but if anyone were to simply ask them about one he'd be like really bad at deflecting it

he had a really good relationship with his father until it was noticed that younger half sister was a product of an affair so then his parents got divorced and isen lost contact

his stepdad is nice but isen doesn't find themselves to be as close to him as their siblings are and it makes him a lil upset

he's still really family oriented even though he kind of resents his mom for the whole affair

they work a job as a janitor at night so his siblings can have some spare money

his mom is chronically ill

oh oh and his twin sister goes to a school outside of wellston because she's rlly smart

isen's not vv open about his family, he'll only mention them if remi says something about rei first or if blyke talks about his mom

i love blysen sm but i do think isen would've had a crush on remi before

he's dated a lot of people

including cecile for a week

cecile broke it off

as you can see none of the relationships really lasted

speaking of how i love blysen – he's had a crush on blyke for a really long time but hasn't realized it's a crush

isen & his twin went on this hair dye adventure once hence the hair

i saw someone say he tried to bleach his hair and it came out orange and i firmly agree

naturally black hair i will die on this hill

while isen had a hair oopsie, their sister was successful and has blonde highlights

(i do have names for his siblings but they're not very creative (twin is isabella & half-sister is irene))

secretly a swiftie

blyke

ok enough isen now blyke

i like the idea of bigender or genderfluid blyke

any pronouns but they do get a bit irritated when people stick to just he/him

pansexual

he has sooo many piercings like so so so many

they're the middle child

she spends a lot of time with her uncle

they have a cat and shes the cutest cat ever (i need a name)

i think blemi is really cute tbh (not a headcanon im just rambling atp)

i feel like blyke would listen to weezer

she looooves funky earrings and other cool jewelry

has a bunch of scars from childhood adventures and is insecure about them

allergic to grass

had a black stripe in his hair during middle school to be cool and edgy

had a diary of a wimpy kid phase

and a dork diaries one

im running out here

remi

remi my fav girlboss <3

omni w/ a preference for girls

she/they, demigirl

her dream toy growing up was a barbie motorcycle

she and rei made a lemonade stand in order to raise money for a barbie motorcycle

rei thought they were getting an actual. barbie themed motorcycle

they made their own lemonade and it tasted like shit

they made a whole eight dollars

remi really wants a pet snake but their mom is scared of snakes

she thinks eyeliner is really cool but she's really bad at it

sometimes she'll ask sera to do her makeup for her

remi's dad is a chef who loves the movie ratatouille /hj

rei calls her a rat

her bedroom at home has a shaggy carpet because i said so

and she has soo many posters on her walls

once she dyed the ends of her hair purple with kool-aid

she has lots n lots of freckles

she had a crush on elaine during her first year & that was her first girl crush

sometimes she goes on random smoothie bowl crazes

[yagamisdiary]

I have a love hate relationship with the fact that you enjoy making us suffer throughout the entirety of your books and making us think they will have a bad ending just to give us the best possible endings ever 🥲 ugh i love you so much youre my favorite author ever, while im here i apologize for the incoming paragraphs but i just need to say it:

1. Idk how you do it but the book covers you choose are always so perfect like?? Idk if im explaining myself but i feel like they capture the vibes of the books perfectly

2. Ok now this is kinda personal and i dont mean to sound like im venting, but have you ever read a fic that impacted you so much to the point where you find yourself still thinking about it to this day 😭 bc that's how i feel about both of ur books, they're so beautifully written and i'm always thinking about the characters or going back to read random parts of the books (edit: i had this paragraph written way before parasite was removed okay but i started rereading eldia yesterday because im truly heartbroken, devastated, downcast, miserable, dejected and inconsolable by the fact that its finished)

I discovered you in july-ish 2021 during parasite era but didnt actually read it until june 2022, i was devastated when i finished it but also had to cleanse my soul cause i accidentally burnt my self out during the last few chapters (i mean it in a good way lol, it was rlly hard to read the last 2 chapters 🙇‍♀️ they were written really well and i felt unsettled while reading the beginning of y/ns whole breakdown, i could feel the gloomy depressed vibe it had if you get what i mean), so anyway i moved on to Eldia. At that time, it was fairly new so there were only like 10 or 11 chapters, ive been keeping up with Eldia ever since and its truly bittersweet to see it end like i was literally full on sobbing for no reason 🥲 probably the sentiment of being a reader for 2 years idk lol. Anyway what im trying to say is that your books were one of the only things that helped me escape reality in 2022, i didnt really find joy in anything and hated my life, however ive definitely improved ever since, so im honestly rlly thankful for you Amara 💕

Edit: i just know it sounds stupid and youre probably tired of hearing the same thing over and over, but i've had this written out for like 5 months and was kinda scared to send it because i felt like it was corny, but with Eldia's resolution i felt encouraged seeing all these people tell you what they think :P so sorry for the long ass paragraph lmao, i just needed to say it because i know in 10 years ill be a grown ass woman and still thinking about these books, theyre attached to my brain forever (like a parasite, ironic)

Ok so i doubt ppl will read this (or that you'll even read all of it) so if you reached the end i must say that you actually ate with the baby names in Eldia 🤭 im saying it here to avoid accidentally spoiling anyone but Andromeda 😪 i remember in early july i sent you an anon ask saying that i pictured you as a girl mom and even listed a few names, i was gonna list Andromeda so its kinda funny to me 😭 and Elrose?? Andromeda is my fav name but Elrose grew on me and i actually rlly like it, idk why it just sounds and looks so satisfying OMG DAMN I JUST SCROLLED UP AND DID I REALLY WRITE ALL OF THAT?? IM SO SORRY AMARA 😭😭 i definitely had way more to say but i feel bad now, it was gonna be an anonymous ask but atp i'll just let it be public

to conclude i must say that whenever someone asks me what my favorite books are, i hate that im not able to say "Oh my favorite books are parasite and eldia" because they're considered fanfics and not 'real books', i think thats really stupid, not only because fanfiction is just as valid as what ppl consider 'real books' but because there are so many fanfictions turned into real books or movies?? Ok im done (for now) but as you can tell im not really good at going straight to the point sorry for writing about 10 paragraphs love you queen vivan las escritoras latinas 🤞

1. honestly i find a pic that fits the vibe i want the book to give before i even write the story then i just somehow find a way to incorporate the cover

ex) eldia’s cover is jean with wine all over him, iykyk there’s an exact scene in eldia that references the cover

2. thank u so much 🥲 the ppl who have stuck around the longest always say the most sweet stuff bc yall really have been alongside me for so many years now and were like growing together which is kinda cool

3. i wanted a name that had ambrose and elijah both in it and it was either elrose or embrose but i ended up liking elrose more, embrose was too similar to ambrose

4. i don’t mind the length of the message at all! i love love love reading all the stuff i receive and the ones that are the longest stick with me the most. 🫶🏼

[temporalreverie]

helpppp im too affirmed my posters disease i was a notes app girlie to get my ass off X posting porn on Twitter lol not rlly but like the stupid name um. But then i started posting in tingles <- tumblr. And getting friends and active followers and being way more comfortable talking to people using this site and being friendly and enjoying now I'm soooo affirmed by being qgle to post my stupid random thoughts online again. This would be a notes app for realsies but it's here instead ok

roadmore

readnore

Ayyyyy tehre we go. It's colors BTW like a discord emoji no underscores (I'm on mobile). Okay I saw a bigger quarter sized spider and im sorry i alerted the guards and she was slain u_u (btw I'm using pensive emoticons over emojis recently and loving it) to be fair I.m not in a state to physically content with it if I gets scared and starts running even if I wanted to take it outside. But nobody was responding I literally thought I was trapped in the spider dimension for a second.

I just made whole caff coffee instead of half or decqff and it's like 9pm.tje responsible me would have poured some of it out or wouldn't finish it but mmmm coffee. It's not too late to do that but 👀 Plus can everyone tell. Hi I told everyone and they're all made at you

I need to find my draft

I told everyone

Im already prone to sudden bouts of euphoria and rambling so i srsly don't think they can tell. It would be fine if i did get brought up but I'm getting off on having harmless secrets bc i've been conditioned to be like this for decades :( but this one is funny and it'll only get funnier the longer it goes in when i finally drop the ball casually in conversation B)

Pikmin tunes go hard i almost perfected the treasure board. Holy shit earlier I was so confused bc i kept getting surprised fucked up be the second floors of the second to last row then picking a different one and not being able to remember.

For anyone not in the loop I will be okag and I am okay :D im just praying to pinkie pie real quick

[askinkiskarma]

ok so i met this guy and he lives in another state than me which is YUCK. but we've been talking and he seem pretty cool (i rlly like him)

HOWEVER, ive had shitty experiences with men and i have severe father issues. so im kinda terrified to get into a relationship.

but i want to talk to him because he has some mental health bleh and i refuse to date anyone who isnt in the right mind because i cannot end up like my mother taking care of my suicidal father for half her marriage. so im rlly scared

and its kinda the first guy ive seriously talked to since i had this breakup with this guy who used me to emotionally cheat on his gf of an entire year.

all in all i believe i have spammed ur askbox enough but im just lowkey scared to commit to smthn but i dont want my trauma to hold me back from experiencing love

I LOVE U

ok kay bb i'm home and i can properly focus on this, i wanted to give you my undivided attention 💕

so, this seems very complicated and i am sorry about that :(

on one hand, it kinda sucks that he lives in another state, but if you are ok with that, especially in the beginning, then you shouldn't let it deter you, especially if you click with him and he seems like a cool guy.

now, i am so so sorry to hear about your bad experiences with your father and with men in general, i cant even begin to imagine how it must feel like for you and i am not at all surprised you are having a hard time with this. men suck lol, i've come to terms with it, and that's why when you find a good one, it's a conflicting situation bc you want to trust him and you want to let go but it's so so hard :(

i think you shouldn't let the fact that he has some stuff that he's dealing with deter you, as long as he's not using you as a crutch, and as long as he shows you he's taking the right steps into addressing them and healing. i think we all deserve a chance and we all come with baggage and you'll be surprised how much just being there for someone or even around someone who's a good influence on you can do for your healing journey.

pls do keep me updated and i really hope the situation becomes more clearer for you and you get more clarity over if he's worth taking the leap of faith

i love you and don't ever feel like you're spamming me cause i LOVE hearing from you <3 good luck and smooches x

[cherrymoonxx]

Hi cherry❣ I would love to participate in ur muse part 2 game. That idea for the game sounds rlly creative and caught my eyes ngl. A hobby of mine is that I like to play games in my free time. U could say I am a gamer since I've been playing games ever since my childhood. Also, I love to listen to music. It's def a part of me tbh. I grew up with music and sing occasionally when I feel like it. I don't think I can live without listening to music esp kpop😂 I've been into kpop ever since I was a kid and till now😆 I used to write stories and read a lot and also draw a lot. But sadly due to my depression, it has affected my passion for those so my passion for them have died out. Its like my flames have been extinguished lol. Now my hobbies are just listening to music, singing and playing games. How abt u? What are ur hobbies?😊

My initial: A, fav emoji: 😂

Hey there! I actually have some similar hobbies as you! I like cozy games, so like animal crossing and stardew valley. What kinda of games do you play? I also like kpop as well! What groups are you into? Im sorry to hear you’ve lost your passion for writing and drawing. Maybe one day you’ll pick them back up.

Alrighty, let’s get to your reading:

So, first off, when I was connecting to your energy, I got the image of a small boat/rowboat in the middle of the ocean. Only I was on this boat and I felt that it was really unstable. The waves were moving fast and rocking the boat. I tried to hold on to the sides, but that didn’t help much. One particular strong current knocked the boat, sending me straight into the water. It all happened so quickly. One minute I was holding on for dear life and the next, I was completely submerged in the water. I wasn’t scared tho. It was like I just accepted it, accepted that I was drowning. I didn’t try to move or swim up. It was a state of acceptance and exhaustion.

So that was what popped into my mind while connecting to your energy. For the reading tho, I’m thinking your artist will be a painter.

Ok so let me paint a picture for you (pun intended 😉). In this scenario, I see you going for a swim in the ocean to clear your mind. It’s not an ideal day, it’s kinda windy and the clouds were slowly covering the sun. The waves are a little rough too but it’s ok you don’t mind, you just needed an escape. So you’re doing your little thing, swimming and just letting your body move along with the ocean. You spend some time like this, completely lost in thought that you don’t even notice how far the water has carried you. You look and see that you’re a little too far away from the shore, so you start to swim back. But by this time, the waves are coming in strong and you’re kinda struggling. You’re getting tired from being thrown around in the waves, so at this point you start panicking. At this point you’re getting desperate because you’ve lost control and your arms are getting tired, so you start yelling for help. Not too far off on the shore, there’s this person with a canvas and some paint silently painting the ocean. They look up for a moment and notice a figure they hadn’t noticed before. So they just stare for a bit trynna figure out what that is until they hear your cry for help. They look around to see if there was anyone else but since there was not many people around, they start running to help. Looong story short, they end up rescuing you and bringing you back to shore. Not you having a little mermaid moment👀

Your artist will find you very charming and intriguing. They find you to be very fun and they just love hearing you talk. Your voice is quite literally enchanting. They think you’re absolutely hilarious. You don’t even have to say much, but you’ll always have them smiling from ear to ear. Your energy is inviting and magnetic. People can’t help but be drawn to you because you radiate such a positive energy. Your artist will be enamored with you. Completely smitten. They’d typically paint only landscape and elements of nature, but after meeting you, they’d find themselves incorporating you into their paintings. They’d still paint nature, but you’d make an appearance in these pictures. Maybe they’d paint you lying down on the beach or they’d paint you in a field of beautiful flowers. Either way, they’d find a way to incorporate you into these paintings. And it’s just a testament to how you have the ability to brighten someone’s life with your presence.

Okay that’s all I’m seeing for you! I promise I tried to keep it short but I always get carried away 😓 but thank you for participation and thank you for your patience!

Take care 💖

[koishua]

hi vienna ,, tbh u dont need to read this bc idk if itd be triggering (body image issues) and id rather u not trouble urself bc of me but id like to vent somewhere and i dont have any1 to talk 2 so pls feel free to ignore .

ive always been overweight for my age but i never faced any bullying abt it other than some very occasion name calling of "fat" in elementary school and my family's disaproval for the way i look. as i grew up, i started to feel more comfortable around others despite not being satisfied with the way i look and i assumed that as kids mature they become more accepting, bc i had never been truly bullied b4 i just assumed it might be rare in communities such as where i lived compared to some of the horror stories i had heard. anyways all my life i had assumed people had been seeing me for more than what i looked like, i always tried to be kind and make a good impression on other but ig that's not true. as much as i love my circle of friends, im not sure i can see them same after what happened on friday. it isnt even their fault, i just feel very insecure now. but basically in 1 of my classes, we had a change in seating so i no longer sat near my friends but 2 acquantainces (they're rlly sweet girls but idk them too well) and this one guy that i also dont know very well other than that in 8th grade he had dated an old friend of mine for a little bit. but anywyas tbh i feel like im just being dramatic but i srsly can't get his conversation out of my mind . the boy was sat next to me and talking to his friend, their convo alr starting off on a wierd note abt kanye west. and the guy next to me (ill call him ray to make it easy) starts off by saying that kanye's note all that bad and has said some pretty true things. ray then goes on to say that fat people dont deserve to exist and body positivity is a completely stupid subject bc it only encourages obesity and unhealthy habits. all the while he's saying this, seated right next to me and im pretty sure he was glancing at me while saying it too . those 90 minutes were the most uncomfortable in my entire life. i was literally panicking while he was talking abt it and it's all that i can think of now. their conversation was truly disturbing to me and my confidence feels as if its completely tanked . his comments of "fat people are gross" and "being fat shouldnt be celebrated" keep ringing in my head everytime i go out or see myself in a mirror. i genuinely feel so broken and it hurts that theyve probably dont realize the effect of their words but also it hurts that that's all they can see me as. not another human being or a classmate but just "fat". idk where im going with this but i dont feel ok and i feel so exhausted now ,, just the thought of having to see ray's face again or hear his voice is scaring me . maybe im just overthinking but i cant help but wonder if my friends picture me the same way. am i even deserving of love if im so "ugly" . my friends sometimes comment that i look way older than my age or that i could pass for college aged and even comments like those are hard to brush off for me. sometimes i wonder if i should restrain my jokes and personality to stay kind bc that's all i am to them. just a source of comfort, and if i dont do that then i could be easily execused. im always scared of saying the wrong thing but now i keep wondering if it would never even matter bc all anyone will ever see me as is "fat" . it's not like i haven't tried to lose weight so i rlly hate everything that ray said and its srsly put me thru sm turmoil . anyways i shld keep this brief (sorry for the rant) and im sorry again for using ur inbox to rant , i rlly hope this doesn't cause you any pain or you find it triggering :( i apologize if it has caused you any concern or pain. i hope ur good and stay happy vie

tw: body image and weight talk

hello, dear :( let me start this off by saying that don't worry, i am perfectly alright and am glad that you feel it's safe enough to vent and write your feelings out in my inbox. you don't have to apologize for anything! i am the one who says that they're open if anyone needs to rant or vent. i would never judge. i had to read this a few times in order to collect my thoughts, so pardon me for delaying this a bit. i wasn't sure if you wanted my direct response, so i will just keep it short.

i won't say that i completely understand what you've been through and i can't speak on experiences i haven't personally lived through. however, as another human being, i will say this: you absolutely deserve to exist. i hope you never ever doubt that. i know how difficult it is to deal with comments about your appearance and it angers me so much that you're treated this way. i get how the side comments every now and then feels. bullying is horrible, but this is just as bad for someone's self esteem and health. im truly so sorry and wish i could do something for you, but i can't because of obvious reasons (that being me being just an online presence and not there with you).

i just want to reassure you that no matter what anyone says, you deserve love and life and goodness. a lot of people don't understand how difficult it is when you don't weigh below a certain number or how isolated that could make someone feel regardless if they're mentioned or not. everyone is so much more than just their appearance. idk how else i could help you other than to strongly remind you that you are you and that should be enough for your friends and that people should learn to keep their mouths shut on their opinions about other people's appearance. it doesn't matter if you lose the weight or if you tell them you struggle a lot with it. those people should reassess the way they're treating another human being with real feelings and thoughts. never lose who you are and trying to be what other people need and want you to be. it may end up making things worse, i know, and im not sure if you've ever told them directly that their words are extremely rude and hurtful and that they should stop, but someone (even if it's not you yourself) really, really should.

i pray that none of what i said has further upset you in any way. if so, i sincerely apologize :( i genuinely hope that this never happens to you again and that you'll have a greater year than ever and that you'll find wholehearted acceptance and love from those you are surrounded by and that you'll slowly but surely feel comfortable in your own skin. take care and you're loved! people like the ray you mentioned are not worth feeling bad over.

[arcadequeerz]

I’m ok!

[onigirio]

hi! headcanons of a daughter of hecate in a throuple with leo valdez & jason grace? please <3

dating leo and jason

a/n: thank u for the request! i love jason i love leo so writing this was like a dream come true <3 i hope you’re having a great day anon!

this is also unedited im so sorry

more under the cut!

okay hear me out

you are a little shit (respectfully)

man you love pulling silly little pranks on people

nothing too harmful though

but when people get pranked

their first thought is you

“you do know you have to hold the sword right” “(name) istg”

when you meet leo, you two immediately hit it off

like come on

chaotic good meets chaotic good

you two are a match made in hell (everyone loves u guys though)

our sunshine duo

leo started liking you when you first complimented his work

he had been making a lil mini festus

bc festus <333

you saw it and you were like “dude the detail on this is incredible youre so talented”

and he was like

oh

oh 💕💕💕💕

he mentions it to jason bc he’s confused

and jason has everyone (me) tripping over their own feet

so leo is just like “oh yea i think they’re really cool i kinda wanna ask them out”

jason is kinda like “oh yea you should go for it”

bc he doesn’t really know you yk?

until he meets you

and wow

he’s kinda jealous of all the time leo spends with you

you were sorta chilling in hephaestus cabin bc yk

bff tings ™️

jason sees you sitting and reading on leo’s bed

with pens and stuff just floating around you

just (name) things™️

you notice him and you’re like

“you never seen someone doing their summer homework?”

and he just stands there

“is leo here” he asks kinda scared

bc you have pens just floating around you

“he went to the bathroom, but he said he’d be back soon”

so jason is like ok

and just stands there (2)

like he knows you but he doesn’t know you yk?

but he wants to get to know you

bc the crush of a bff is a bff too

you finally look up at him, your expression questioning his awkward demeanor

and thats when he notices

fuck

you’re pretty

like really pretty

he understands why leo has a thing for you

jason would probably have a thing for you too

but he’d never tell anyone that

bc bro code

you pat the spot next to you on leo’s bed

“you can come sit, i don’t bite” you said with a smile

jason is just like

why is your smile pretty too

you’re not making it any easier

he sits next to you (making sure not to hit a stray highlighter in the air)

“you’re (name) right?” he asked

“hecate’s favourite child? in the flesh”

he just likes your energy

you’re very chilled

you think it’s funny how shy he is around you

like this is the jason grace?

you giggled a lil

you sort of just hung out leo’s bed until he came back

when leo comes back you’re just like “oh he was looking for you, i let him in”

like it wasn’t even your cabin

everyone basically associates you with the hephaestus kids

if youre not in your cabin or making swords float, you’re there

so leo’s chilled with it obviously

because time with his best friend and his crush?

he basically won the lottery

so then you all hang out in his cabin

and that’s how your lil trio came to be

it only took a few weeks before jason was like

damn

he kinda likes you too

you two had lots of deep conversations together

and he felt understood

you were also always willing to help with anything

so you spent a lot of time together either sparring or laughing at the pavilion

you rlly wormed your way into his heart

but leo liked you first so now he felt bad

poor jason :(

leo saw the way you two interacted and he was like

“yo, do you like-“

jason immediately was like “yea”

they handled it like big boys tho

even though leo was just the tiniest littlest bit jealous

yk insecurities

everyone would choose jason, and you probably would too

so he just felt a little bit anxious and worried

especially because he liked you a lot

he wouldn’t manage watching you be with his best friend

but because he was a good friend, he didn’t get mad or anything

they weren’t sure how to go about it

yk men

so they just asked you

“hey we both like you but we just wanna know who you’d rather dat”

you being the slayer you are were just like

“cant i just date you both”

you know as a joke at first

but then you all considered it

and you were like yea that could work

and that’s how you became THEE throuple

everyone is jealous of you

two boyfriends? in one go?

thats the (name) effect

they both balance each other out perfectly

you get the best of both worlds

you and jason will definitely go to leo’s workshop and bring him snacks or coffee

and you guys will chill and talk

leo would make you guys matching jewelry

if you’re sad

you literally have a human teddy bear and a human heater

cuddles for everyone!

jason is the rational mind ngl

he’s always caught up in your practical jokes

once you did a joke magic show

and you were like , “and now i shall make leo disappear!”

yk because magicians, child of hecate

at the time it was funny come on now

either way you made leo disappear

like actually

jason thought it was funny and then he noticed you weren’t laughing

why tf weren’t you laughing

you scoured the camp for him

(he was under your bed)

that’s how you learned you could teleport things too!

that’s a win!

whenever guys hit on you

leo and jason will tag team the mf

no one is harassing you

not on their watch

it’s always the hardest when you’re at school

bc you miss them so much

they definitely surprise you during finals

with lots of snacks and soda and words of encouragement

safe to say you aced that year

and going back to them is always the best reward

jason and leo love you so much, and you wouldn’t give them up for the world

[rotshop]

*manifests from a pile of shoes*

Could I request head-canons w/ Sanford and Sheriff for a Mag!S/o that kinda looks like siren head?

*re-enters the shoe pile*

-Boot/👢Anon

AUGH ok . ok so. so. um. uh. alright. uhm. i MIGHT have changed a few lil things here and there just so its a LIL easier 4 me ,,, sorry if this isn't what u wanted and if its a little short [runs away crying like an anime girl] /j

TW ; violence / fighting / some gore (?, not heavily detailed, briefly mentioned), injuries / gashes

Sanford

-im going to be completely honest ,you terrified him at first. LIKE. OK. sanford gets scared sometimes. he gets anxious and nervous. but seeing you crawl out and scream some deafeningly loud siren / radio static / etc was one of the moments he was genuinely petrified.

-chances are you came out when he was getting his ass kicked by some soldats / another mag. you felt some sort of pity for him (that or you just wanted a fight / them out of your area) so!!! you step in and start raising hell. it's too hard for soldats to properly shoot at you when they can barely see straight with the noise you're making and that mag has no chance to fight when you're already tearing them in two

-the entire time he's just laying there in shock as he watches you turn agents into unidentifiable masses like its nothing . he doesn't even think to like, run or hide because his brain is just barely processing anything going on at that very moment

-eventually you turn to him and INSTANTLY he goes 'oh shit' and tries to make a run for it before you cut him off by grabbing him and dragging him back. he tries to kick at you or try to (even though he knows DAMN well it wontwork) yell at you in some attempt to scare you off and obviously!! it doesn't work. instead of trning him into mystery meat though you instead just kinda. throw him over your shoulder and start walking???? ur tall as fuck so its !! not super funsies especially when u got blood loss status effect

-after a while you kinda (gently, a surprise to him) drop him down on the ground and go to look for something in some pile of boxes and debris. he KNOWS he should try running for it but he just?? cant??? something just kinda. tells him not to. you end up coming back before he can think better of it and you just??? grab his injured leg and start to try and wrap some gashes up??????

-thus is the start of a rlly weird friendship. he PROLLY cant bring u back to base (unfortunately :[ ) BUT he visits you real often. the other three all just kinda look at each other whenever sanfords super chipper and excited to go on some little 'mission' by himself. chances are he slips on his excuses one time and mentions u and they all just collectively go 'Who.' he (VERY reluctantly) introduces them to you, deimos screamed the second you crouched under an exit to walk outside

-they get used 2 u tho dw

-he LOVES fighting with you, people are fucking HORRIFED the second you walk in purely bc ur a gd powerhouse (and. yknow. for the more obvious reaosns too) which leaves them with a perfect blindspot for him to take advantage of. unfortunately tho agents are mean and homophobic so chances are they do say some shit that gets to you sometimes, this usually leads to him comforting you

-it's usually just you kind crouching and / or leaning way down while he kinda. pep talks you???r3 fhejvedD??? "listen, those aahw fucks don't know a single goddamn thing about you, I do though and I can say with 100% certainty you ain't just some kinda monster or sumn..you mean a lot to me, I care about you, ok?"

-also he acts huffy whenever you hold him but he secretly rlly enjoys it. chances are he struggles with kissing u bc ur just so damn tall !! however this leads to a system where he just kinda. taps on your leg or something so you lean down so he can kiss you

-i may have gotten a little caried away here. woops.

Sheriff

-aahw gave him you bc he asked for some kinda backup / a bodyguard and WHOO boy. yeah. yeah,,,,,,, /derogatory

-you ALSO scared him at first, as in him going completely silent and being squeaky whenever he does have to talk around you. (it's that one 'pov ur just a little hater' 'and?' pic but he's sobbing and shaking /j)

-it takes some raid where hank has him cornered for him to kinda come to his senses. he FULLY expected to drop dead when he seen the barrel of that gun pointed at his head until you fucking grab hank like a ragdoll and- do something. Sheriff squeezes his eyes shut before he can really see, all he can hear is popping and squelching and honestly!! that's all he cares to really hear!! he's good on not getting a visual. he's forced to open his eyes though when you're crouching down next to him and inspecting him for any injuries or anything like that with a surprising amount of gentleness

-it's just as bad afterwards but just in a new way. now he's always following you around like a lost puppy and staring at you. its. yeah. anytime you ask he always jumps and then stammers out some lame excuse (most times it does get him to go back to his office tho bc he completely falls apart hwen u point out how it doesn't make any sense)

-he tries?? showing off in front of you??? almost got his shit wrecked trying to show off his shot skill before you kinda yanked him out of the way and dealt with the bandits urself. he just kinda goes tense in ur hold before relaxing cus u've got him against ur torso / kinda on ur hip (?? if that makes sense) and he's just. 'aha :flushed:'

-you both cause chaos and problems on purpose, he does a lot of the distant shots or anyone who tries getting to ur blindspots / ones u dont notice, u do the same for him and most of the dirty work

-if you ever get injured he makes you lay down so he can help you out, huffs and fusses over you the entire time, scolds you (very gently) because!! what if you got seriously hurt >:[ !!! its ok tho because he gives you a kiss as an apology of sorts lol

-LOVES having you stand by him and seeing how people are obviously intimidated (he likes to think they're intimidated by the both of you but like. its very obviously just u making them nervous lol)

-also will kick a motherfuckers ass if they ever say some hurtful shit to you, YEAH he might be a coward and flighty but if someone treats you like that they're asking for it and just fucked w/ you AND him personally so!! :) /th

[yanbub]

mutuals appreciation post !! happy 1.3k milestone ♡

not @ me just randomly doing this 🤡 anyways yes happy 1.3k 💞 posting this early just in case someone unfollows 🙄 but i'm sadly not done with the event yet so i don't have any milestones planned for now so i just did this instead ;;;; maybe if i reach 1.5k i might do smth tho ??

in no order whatsoever

@starglitterz ; bye ilysm 🙁🙁 literally one of my best mutuals xdxd quill x yuyu 90k words frustrating slowburn teethrotting fluff friends to lovers asf. ok on a serious note IM SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE A LU JINGHE STAN⁉️⁉️ literally the cutest, hottest and richest man alive i tell you not 🙄 !! anyways i hope we can get to know each other more <3

@kazuqha ; im so scared to know what your "yan simping for marius" album contains ..... like literally. AND IM STILL GONNA BE INDENIAL ONE MORE TIME,,, just so i can get his event cards probably ❤ HAHA. being indenial has it's pros ok i rlly want that electrifying night sr and the symphony of the night ssr like oh my god not to ramble but he looks so hot in it 😩 i want him to kiss me so bad?*,?*@?!?@(#) ily i hope you get more zuo ran cards bc youre his wife 🤪

@noirkkat ; it's the way i've been wanting to be mutuals with you for so long bYE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE REALLY COOL AND WHEN WE FINALLY BECAME MUTUALS YOU WERE MORE THAN THAT 😍 anyways youre so sexy and stay bad 😜

@dilucbar ; let's go bili some noodle soup and egg waffles kasami si thoma and childe 😩 #conyo bye he might type in a jeje way i cant do this today HWHAHWJAHWHAHSHA anyways conyo thoma and childe our beloved 💗

@test-tube ; why are you so sweet it's too much for my health but idc youre literally one of the sweetest mutuals i have :((( we rarely talk these days but im glad that i can still see you on my dash slaps you with my affection and support asf

@baeshijima ; my fellow lu jinghe stan haha manifesting more of his cards for us <33 im so close to spend money on the matching tattoos one but 🙁🙁 i hate wasting money on games uGHHHH anyways lu jinghe supremacy insert heart

@eternism ; hi giggles i havent sent my yoimiya angst idea to you but i might do it later 😍 unless i forget again 🧍‍♀️anyways HAHA <3 ILY !!!! youre so cool?*?(?!?!? i hope you get yoimiya ur beloved bestie !!

@ganyuslily ; bye you're the only one who can understand me when it comes to mo yi insert pensive emoji they keep saying hes sus or a red flag but like,,,, idrc????? i still love him either way and i doubt mihoyo would make a love interest a literal red flag like that man,,, anyways congrats on ur xia yan again and i hope you get zuo ran's ssr <3

@kazuhavo1r ; yOUR. YOUR MARIUS CONTENT. I SCREAM EVERYTIME I GET TAGGED IN IT LIKE?&#(@?@*#(#?# I LOVE IT WHEN MARIUS I SWEAR YOU NOT 😭😭 but tho gl on ur exams/school :(( i love how we invade the tot fanfiction tags 😍

@astrealia ; xia yan <3 thats it for you LMFAO /j ok but. xia yan personal story is breaking me how can you just endure all of it wtf ily btw

bye i can't think of anyone else i am so sORRY if you aren't included ;;;;; i only rmb the ones ive been interacting more recently <//3 anyways ily all mutuals yall r so coolsies as yall should !

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[caliwashere]

SHE’S BACK | TGKDN SPOILERS up to Ch 40

Cali’s Note: Hey all! I’ve been super busy graduating and everything so I stopped posting but that doesn’t mean I abandoned TGKDN or anything. I’ve been reading and rereading all the chapters while waiting for the author to finally update!

Context: Tsukuyo Hiyori is from a jjkxoc (additional add-ons: dad!gojoxoc, yutaxoc, megumixoc) fic called Tsuki Ga Kirei Desu Ne (TGKDN). It’s linked in my bio in case anyone wants to read it. I don’t own her or TGKDN! I’m just a fan! I heavily recommend those who haven’t read TGKDN to read it. It’s made me cry from the angst chapters to scream into my pillow at 4am from adorable romance (fluff) moments or from laughing my a** off. I personally don’t have anything i can say i dislike about it and the grammar/spelling + sequencing of events is good too like actual novel-worthy (but the author is kind of like Gege 2.0 and she scares me with her unpredictability)

Anyways, on to my discussions that a surprising few of you actually read! I’ve seen all the messages thanking me for introducing TGKDN to y’all but tbh u should be thanking the author not me cuz she’s the one who writes it! 

Spoilers below!

YALL AFTER ALL THOSE CHAPTERS WITHOUT HIYORI CONTENT, SHES FINALLY BACK!

-Her entrance was just *chef’s kiss*

-She’s so dramatic (she def gets it from gojo i swear) and the way it started off with Tsuki trolling them was funny af 

-Tsuki still remains one of my favorite characters but i wish there was more tsuki content 

-not junpei being the only sane person there (plz the way he just got more and more confused by both hiyori and yuji)

- megumi better run cuz nobara is out for blood 

- lowkey not even his fault cuz he never said she was dead, they just assumed she was cuz he kept saying she was “gone”

- ok but not hiyori having a couples vacation with yuta while we were all sobbing and panicking over her possibly being dead (author better be feeding us some tsukuokko content soon! i want to know what happened in africa!)

-hiyori seems the same as she was back in her first year (well surface level anyway from what’s been witnessed in chapter 40)

-i was reading her profile again and i noticed that the author mentioned hiyori not carrying her katana anymore (what’s up with that? im confused. i feel like that has significance but idk what)

NOT THE AUTHOR SPINNING A WHEEL TO DETERMINE HOW SHE’S GONNA TORTURE US NEXT?!

-Y’all i swear if a spinny wheel is what ends up being the reason why one of my favs die, imma flip (and cry alot)

-as much as i love yuta and all tsukuokko content, i rlly want to see more on hiyori’s relationships with the other characters especially maki and megumi since the first main arc (jjk 0 timeline) was mainly in yuta’s point of view so there was a lot of stuff not mentioned like hiyori’s role in the juju society and stuff (can we talk about how amazingly well the author writes unreliable narrators and pov switching? its fucking amazing)

- tsukuyo hiyori = certified badass

- now that she’s back then that means she’s most likely going to be in japan during the shibuya arc (i can’t wait to see what goes down but im also scared)

- waiting for more kazuha info still cuz why is this little kid so mysterious??

- I want to see sukuna and hiyori meet OR sukuna and tsuki ( i feel like those interactions would be rlly funny)

- ok but what’s this tree and why is she going to sendai??

- can we talk about how hiyori is starting to act more and more like gojo but with a blend of geto and shoko into it too (u can tell she grew up around those three cuz she has a mix of all of their personalities mainly gojo and geto’s)

- that photo of hiyori for chapter 40 (she could step on me and i would thank her)

- plus all those photos in the image gallery for her profile too!

- she’s so hot.

- i’d choose her over yuta and megumi ngl (sorry not sorry)

- i wonder how megumi will react when he finds out hiyori is already taken

- nobara seems to be a fan of hiyori so i wonder how their first interaction will be

- i’m surprised no one knew hiyori was back until she came back (then again maybe the “she” referred to at the end of the chapter isn’t even hiyori but someone else)

- will hiyori kill mahito? what will happen during junpei’s MORPHIN’ TIME? will she be there or is she gonna still be in sendai and find out after?

[kristalpepsi]

Temptation Stairway Thoughts™ + Theory Discussion

TW: blood + Death mentions, Implied (forced/pushed) integration (systems), racism (against asians), unreality stuff bc the show is Like That, Trauma causd by therapy

TL;DR = I mainly talk about implied integration, n as some1 in a system tht! mkes me uncomfy! I mainly will talk abt wht I’m calling the multi-ena theory (n anothr theory ill call the Multiple/Multi-Enaverse Theory) thts been popping up n disccng how thts kind of the bggst thng keepng me on board! I won’t LIE I might b a little biased bc I rlly do like thise show b I am NOT blind so I will try 2 address som things. I also talk alot abt the Shepard n Phindol bc I love themb so much they make me very heart Big.

DISCLAIMERS:

Obviously Joel G Highkey/definitely/most probbly did not intend 4 any of thise, but media is very complic8d so u cn end up accidntlly making problmtc things or implyng not great things

I hav a typing quirkkkk so if u cant understand my post I rlly dont blame u! I’m sorry how I type is Incomprehensible™

Not an angry post, more like my brain is holding me host-ge until i talk abt everyth dskfjhd!!

DO NOT Send anyone in thise post hate or angry asks/messages or perish by my sword

OK so this recnt episde has me w vry vry mixd feelngs!!! I’m both happy n exctd! b litrlly 2 things is whts bothrng me. While I CLD jst say :I Am Lookng Away: i rlly do need 2 write it down. Under a Read-more bc im secure SKSJ

Part 0: I’m uncomfortable help

The Section wher i tlk abt n bring up othr ppl’s concerns

So fr most if nt all the frnds I hav who also wtch Ena ALSO has a vry “vr vry mixd feelngs now tht I’ve seen the episde!!” mood twrds Temptation Stairway! It’s 4 a bunch of rsns, like thise post (tw racism) mde by a frnd whch brings up a good point

Part 1: The Actual Intro

Episode 1 = Auction day (AD) Episode 2 = Extinction Party (EP) Episode 3 = Tempation Stairway (TS)

Who is Ena

Ena can b describd as an "abstract girl split in half, w 1 blue side n the other is her yellow side!" Each side (emotion/mood, 2 b specific) seems 2 hav their own voic actor credited along with seper8 credits 4 each mood! So far the canon sides r Ena (happy), Ena (sad), n Ena (drunk)! They seem 2 act accordingly: Happy acts happy n optimistc, Sad acts sad n especlly depressd, n Drunk acts confused n dizzy [In the Credits, it would look like thise: Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman, (drunk) Ena by Sam Meza

4 Episodes 1-2, thy follow thise pattern exctly! So we cn expect wht 2 see from them, n each voice actor is creditd accordngly as seper8 b all a part of Ena

On epside 3, Ena is seen as actng diffrnt!! She's suddnly less predictabl! I say thise bc Suddenly, her voic Actors r not stuck 2 Only their sides. Thise is also emphasized when looking at the credit list! No longer is it "Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman" it's now jst "ENA by Gabe V. and Lizzie Freeman"

Happy's voic can sound STRESSED n sad, Happy can tlk w Blue's side in mor control n Sad's voic can sound Really happy n optimistic. Somth's Diffrnt n Not The Same

Temptation Stairway Summary

Skipping 2 my point, The summary of the episode Temptation stairway is tht Moony and Ena have a bet 2 race 2 the Great Runas! The Great Runas, can grnt u any wish accordng 2 Moony n som of those Ena passes by on the wy. The wager, is tht "whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser" (yes it’s phrased like that) As Ena journeys thru, The DIFFERENCES between Ena Temptation Stairway and Ena Extinction Party n Below, is mor obvious as the epsde progrsses, even 2 wher Happy's voic actor is the 1 screamng in agony 2 jst get murdered already. The Episode ends w Moony beatng Ena (but it's 100% possibl it can be the other way arnd, that ENA Beat Moony, b thats somth I'll discuss in a bit L8r). Moony splits in half, revealing that according 2 her, "she wished 2 be skinny" n a humanoid coms out of her previous form. As 4 Ena, Her blue side slowly dispprs n its not answrd why.

Theories so far, are:

Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy (or 4 her sad/blu side 2 go awy. 4 wht reason can b eithr wholsom or 2 Moony's advntge [like so she "doesnt have 2 deal w Sad Ena"]) - b if Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy/b rid of her sad side, tht wld mean perhaps she lied about wishing 2 be skinny (her new humanoid form may be how she is "paying her debt 2 the loser"). Unless the Runas can grant u more than 1 wish.

Ena ws the 1 who wished her blu side awy, whch is a little depressng tbh

If both the above r tru, it may b possibl bc it wsnt clarified (afaik) tht the great runas can only grant ONE person a wish (or more). I think we only get tht implica8ion bc we see 1 (open) door while in the distance, ther r more doors tht look like their eyes r closed. We hav 2 remembr Moony said "whoever makes their wish 1st whch means Ena n Moony can totlly mke wishes @ the sme time

Somhow, turning pure yellow/only happy is how Moony is payng her debt 2 Ena(??) (opposite 2 the 1st theory)

OR If Ena won the race, it can even b possibl 2 consider tht Ena did not make ANY wish, n her debt 2 pay 2 Moony is her sad/blue side removed (I do not subscribe 2 thise) 

This info that was brought up 2 me is high evidenc that Moony won the race, n it explains how Moony surprises Ena whn Ena arrives. “I’m The Best and you’re the worst! I wonder who got the hair chest?” said by Ena, is a direct reference 2 a phrase usd by kids when they lose that goes “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest.”

“Whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser.“ Might be phrased tht way as a weird way 2 pay 4 ur greed? (Last minute addition from me since some people wld think this is quoted wrong in and outside of the youtube comments)

i'm p sure ther may even b mor theories b i dont rmmbr them OOPS

Part 2: The Implied Integration Part AKA: How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode

TW: Final fusion discussion, medical trauma (Is that the right word)

Disclaimer: This is 100% unintended by Joel G. That’s y the Alternative title 2 thise part is “How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode”

2 GET IN2 the whole Implied Integr8ion part of my Essay™ I hav a theory calld system ena or sys!ena! (Check out my #system ena tag. This is in chronologicl order!) While thers no canon explan8ion 4 how Ena herslf is how she is, she mkes very intrstng n almst good accdntl Sys Represent8ion 2 me! They even show cofronting rlly well! I headcanon Ena as a system bc of the accidentl system!rep, but it explains 2 me y n how she switches! she has triggers 4 when she switchs 2 a diffrnt side, etc!

Ther hav been theories about Temptation Stairway in the past (before the episode cme out) wher ppl try 2 explain y the trailer Looks Like Tht. Besides theorizing abt the introduction of a new forme (I'm ok w just calling it Scared/Anxiety 4 now until 4rthr notic), 1 of the theories ive seen is tht Temptation Stairway's new introduced forme is due 2 being something akin 2 being "integr8d" (probably by force, accordin 2 the OP) (in other words, all her sides merge in2 one) n Ena being devast8td abt it

While tht theory is now DEBUNKED, bc the new forme clearly did not come out bc of being One Single Mind now, the "integr8ion" part of tht theory is unfortun8ly a littl tru

What is Integr8ion?

Integr8ion is not inherently a bad thing. In systems, ther are 2 definitions: "the breaking down of barriers 2 form healthy multiplicity, n then healthy communic8ion n less amnesiac barriers" and the othr, n mor FAMOUS definition bc its the oldest 1, is "final fusion"

Fnal Fusion is when all the members "fuse/merge" 2gether until ther is 1 single mind left. While not necssrlly a bad thng, final fusion n ther4 "integr8ion" is a scry thing 4 a lot of systems 2 talk abt, because in the history of Treatment, Final fusion is uslly somthng forcd on2 systems 4 the longest time :^(

Very valid 2 hav final fusion as a goal, b showng it as a desire n end goal is uslly seen as a sad n even scry thing 2 promote accdntly or not in media, bc of the previous traumas in the medicl/therapy world of system treatment etc

What's Worse. is tht if we apply the Ending 2 Temptation Stairway to the System!Ena Theory, thts wht hurts!!!

Scrolling back up 2 the possibl theories of who won the race and wht happened aftr, Either Moony or Ena wishing 4 the blue side/Sad Ena 2 go awy is rlly painful!

B I'll be honest, thts a RLLY biased n personal opinion i hav!! I've seen ppl think its rlly wholsom altho a bit Sad, tht the blue side disappears. I've seen ppl think its rlly sweet esp if it was Moony who mde tht wish

BSCLLY If I were to hold on2 the System!Ena headcanon while watchng the Temptation Stairway episode, its Hurtful, not rlly bc of the implied Integr8ion of Sides, but bc most top theories r that the blue side disappeard on Purpose either from Moony or Ena wishing her away or involvng the debt! It's like asking 4 ur sibling irl 2 Disappear and cease 2 exist. it's scary n rlly sad esp whn the audienc can c tht Sad, Happy, n Drunk cn almst b seen as their own persons n mite even b abl 2 interact w each othr (as seen by the many fanart of Happy n Sad having their own seper8 forms)

  Ok so Now tht ive described my intro n Main Beef w the Episode, here's a theory I cn rlly get behind tht dsnt mke me wnna cry behind a Denny's. Prsnlly it's a rlly relievng theory even if it mite b hard 2 take in

Ther's no name 4 it, som call it the Enaverse, b just so it dsnt get confusd w other definitions (like, u wldnt call it the Marvel Cinematic Universe theory, the MCU is jst wht it is) I'm gnna call it the Multi-Ena theory! Bsclly, there's mor than 1 Ena in thise universe. But I'll get in2 a sub/partner theory tht is also possibl: ther is mor than 1 enaverse n somhow u may or may not b abl 2 travel between them

Part 3: The Multi-Ena theory

Something interesting I noticed was that the shepherds says “another ENA troublemaker?” Which definitely means more than one ENA/person has been there before.

(I blockd out the rest of the commnt not bc it ws bad, b i wantd 2 focus on this part of the commnt, but thise commnt will come up again L8r)

Not connected 2 System!Ena or the integr8ion issue I mentioned earlier, the multi-ena theory seems 2 b 1 of the top suggstd theories bc of many thngs! Bsclly n in short, thise theory believs tht in the series (or Enaverse), ther is multipl ena's! So fr i havent seen a post tht RLLY went in2 depth on thise so here is my attempt!

Evidence:

(See: above explanation on how the voic actors r credited 4 their roles individlly 2 explain my system!ena theory/intro) In episodes 1-2, Ena's diffrnt emotions/sides r creditd individually! In Temptation Stairway, Gabe n Lizzie Freeman r all creditd undr the sme nme, just as "Ena" (mening thise is a completely different Ena from the past)

Again, as said in my summry 4 Tempt8ion Stairway, thise Ena acts compltly diffrnt n is not follwng the sme "pattern" or rules as Ena did in Episodes 1-2! (Read above in my summary section) Either ther r stuff we've missd between Extinction Party n Temptation Stairway, or thise is a diffrnt Ena entirely.  I'd hav 2 sy prsnlly tht I'm leanng 2wrds the latter bc of how the VA's are crdtd. but if ur not convinced, let me continu:

When we meet the Shepard in 7:52 of the episode, they say (verbatim) "Arghh... Another ENA trouble maker." which implies there r more than 1 Ena's

9:08 - 9:19 when Ena jumps in2 the "Holy Code" where we head undrwtr in2 a sea of diffrnt doors, we see floating Ena models (n the comment section seems 2 gravit8 2 callng them "dead bodies") (Honorary mention: You'll notic they glitch in2 Mannequins if u pay attention 2 them). This piec of info is Direct Evidence 2 the multi-ena theory, bc ther r Explicitly mor thn 1 ena's on screen! wht's concernng n unanswrd tho, is y do they glitch in2 mannequins? Does tht mean all the mannequins we sw on screen in the begnng of the video (n onwards) were all previously an Ena? Is it only an Ena tht can transform in2 a mannequin or cn othr chrctrs also become mannequins?

Not the strongst evidenc b i'll input it anywy: Ena's Action boxes (Like when she receivs or gives items) spell her nme her as ƎNA (with a backwrds E). The thing abt thise 1 is tht we can't compare it with Auction Day n Extinction Part bc they don't have any action boxes. BUT What we CAN compare is how she is spelled in the dialogue boxes of those speakng in diffrnt languages AND in the Credits! In Episodes 1-2, She's Spelled as Ena with this captialis8ion. In Temptation Stairway the dialogue and credits consitntly spell her as ENA in all caps. May or may not allude 2 her being diffrnt, b i will admit this is the most Strechiest piec of evidnc. Tru or not, I'd like 2 refer 2 Tempt8ion Stairway ena as TS!Ena or ƎNA, prsnlly 2 differenti8 her frm the othr episodes

Pronounci8ion: BUT 2 build on the above evidence, In the beginning of the episode, Moony DOES pronounc Ena's name in different wys a lot, startng w I-NA (ai-na), ENA (ehna), n finally JENA. And this isnt new! She’s been doing it sinc Auction Day (ee-nah/ii-na) n Extinction Party (ay-nah). Thise may or my not sggst that perhaps Moony's inconsistancy is bc these othr pronunci8ions or names cld b of other ena's she's met in the past w similr or diffrnt preferences! I’d say because of her constant switchng in the beginning of Temptation Stairway, it would lean 2wards that she may know different Ena’s @ once. Otherwise, c the Multi-Enaverse theory below

Note: Every othr charctr besides Moony (So far; Merci and the Shepard) Pronounces Ena as ehna (or ehna) so it might be that perhaps Eh-na is the universal way of pronouncng Ena?

Conlusions/thghts on this theory: I prsnlly like thise a lot!! It makes Enasonas Very Possible, b also tht any interpret8ion of Ena cn b corrct or possibl! It knda saddens me tho bc im not rlly sure if we'll ever return 2 the Ena we're used 2, I wldnt rlly want 2 b stuck w/o Sad bc I thnk her role is rlly neat n can b importnt, b im biasd. I also rlly subscribe 2 thise theory bc it means whtvr happend 2 TS!Ena ds not hav 2 be permanent in the long run; Again litrlly the only thng keepng me from gettng supr upset abt the ending of Temptation Stairway, is tht the prev ena’s r not the sme n wld possibly not do thise, or tht ther r othr ena’s out ther besides THISE episod 1, who wld nvr do tht, etc

Part 4: The Multiple Enaverses/Multi-Enaverse Theory AKA The Alternative In Defense of Moony Mispronouncing Ena’s name over and over

An alterntve 2 the Multi-Ena theory, is tht there is MORE thn 1 Enaverse! So bsclly, a multiverse theory. Primarily thise my explain Not jst Ena's sudden Shift in how diffrnt she is in thise episode b may also explain how Diffrnt Moony is actng in thise episode 2. While thise isnt the top theory i prsnlly subscribe 2 (sinc ther isnt explicit evidence besides it bein an explan8ion 4 Moony n Ena's weird/diffrnt behavior), it DOES open a lot of doors 2 intrstng things 2 thnk abt!

Bsclly Moony keeps mispronouncing Ena’s name a lot (in Tempation Stairway) n its Really Rude, esp consdrng she’s always said it properly (As in @ least 1nce in an episode n not switchng multiple times) b4! so 2 Explain her Sudden change in behavior, this is actlly a Different Moony, besides a different Ena. this is a whole different universe/timeline!

LIKE If not multiple Ena's, The different Loca8ions in Ena cn probbly b traversible across dimensions! The Holy Code may b the door 2 diffrnt enaverses. The Shepard's garden cld b an interdimensionl place tht is singular n deals w diffrnt beings passing thru! While i dnt hav mch 2 sy on thise, its RLLY Interestng 2 thnk abt

Like the Multi-Ena theory, thise also opens the doors 2 enasonas being vry possibl :^) Som ppl's evidences r all involvng Moony besides how Ena's rlly diffrnt

Moony can skateboard??

Moony's square shape hole can shrink 2 hold an item

while not strong ATM or frm wht i cn see, its still very inch restng!!! Tho I would sy it is VERY on par w the Multi-Ena theory anyway

Part 5: Honorary Mentions: Mini Theories

The Great Runas is actlly a play on the "Run As" Command! I'm not very Smart engh 2 break thise down vry well, b bsclly w all the allusion 2 "codes" n the Blood ID looking like a Chip, The Great Runas being abl 2 grant u wishes makes a lot of sense! This ws brought up 2 me from a friend (@ambercard​)!

like its a command line. so then the great runas being able to grant wishes makes sense if its digital world like all the code stuff says Allows a user to run specific tools and programs with different permissions than the user's current logon provides.

Runas is a command-line tool that is built into Windows Vista. To use runas at the command line, open a command prompt, type runas with the appropriate parameters, and then press ENTER.

In the user interface for Windows Vista, the Run as… command has been changed to Run as administrator. However, you should rarely have to use the Run as administrator command because Windows Vista will automatically prompt you for an administrator password when it is needed.

and my friend who i was talking to said that probably explains what the password was for and the blood id being a login or something?

its possible using the blood id akin to using the run as administrator command since idk their name but one of the people ena met said the blood id didnt seem like her which is like. if she isnt administrator then it would make sense that using that command wouldnt match who she is

My response:

man do u realiz Ena uslly does not hav the corrct passwrd/admin privileges all the tme? Bc the guardian entity in extinction party askd her 4 1 b i guess it ws so Low Game tht it wsnt supr necsrry in the end

The Enaverse is all a computer code of some sort- most probbaly a game! AKA: This is a digital world

... If we were too treat this world as a video game this would make more sense since different play through bus and all that. Oh god this feels like a fnaf situation, taking a video that just wants to be a video and turning it into a big serious thing

Going with the whole ‘there are multiple enas representing the player’ theory, perhaps this ENA realized that she’s in a video game and isn’t taking it too well? But the game is kind of glitching out because of it.

Honorable Mentions: Random Info + Unanswered Questions

Ena seems self-aware of smth! (10:24 Ena screams "YOU'RE ALL LIVING A LIE!") May help the Run as command idea n the video game/digital reality idea! If not a video gme, they sure r Somewhere

What does the Great Runas look like?? is it the door? is ther mor thn 1 Runas?

What is Mariya n Gabo's Job? R they just like the Guardian Entity in Extinction Party but are assignd 2 this part/location of where they are?

In 6:30, wht does Ulysses mean by "Desires r never fulfilled nor quenched"? "You Will fail like the rest of them" Is he referring 2 the other Ena's that's passed by? who else have come n failed?

This Post Also brings up som good points I hvnt noticd yet!

Thise comment pretty much says everythng:

Standout things from this animation:

-This Ena switches between a male & female voice at seemingly random instead Happy speaking with a male voice and Sad speaking with a Sad voice. The text boxes noticeably refer to this Ena with a reversed E, and The Shepard says "Another Ena troublemaker", implying that there are multiple Enas. We also see some Ena corpses flickering into the mannequin bodies at one point. Third, at the end we see Ena's sad half turn from blue to yellow over the course of Ena & Moony's conversation. My personal theory is that this Ena is possibly 'broken' in some manner. -Moony either doesn't care or dosen't realize that Ena's voices aren't matching the personalities anymore. -The grey personality appears to come out when Ena gets too stressed out. Notably the transformation involves the happy half turning into static and exploding out, erasing Ena's face in the process. It also appears that some physical trauma (in this case, Brick Frog kicking Ena) is necessary to exit the grey personality, unlike the previously seen 'blackout' personalities which can possibly be switched by the other personality exerting themselves (in the auction episode, Ena enters her sad blackout/depressed personality, then switches to Happy!Ena, who apologizes to Moony about her depressed outburst). -Moony's hole is capable of closing to hold things, and she also knows how to skateboard. -Judging by Ena's reaction, Moony's transformation at the end is weird even by this universe's standards.

aaaand thats all 4 now! I really hope thats all my brain can think of skjsdhfsdfkh

Feel free 2 send me asks abt Ena theories n stuff! While this is a Comprehensiv post, it’s definitely mor focused on the Multi-Ena theory n my thghts on the episode whn it comes 2 how it affects the System Ena theory. I’m open 2 questions!!

Last Edit: Feb 19 2021 (GMT +8)