#im so angry how does it feel like to live my dream

[dirt-str1der]

Im going to fucking kill and skin alive kiryus workout trainer for seeing him in such an indecent state biceps and tits flexing spine arched ass thrust up and out thighs clenching grunting panting slippery with sweat teeth clenched and in that slutty gym outfit no less

[thebestsetter]

Isagi loves your thighs. And even though he isn't the type of guy to answer "personality" when asked "Boobs, thighs or ass?", he doesn't want to outright say how attracted he feels to them, mainly because he doesn't want you to think he only cares about your body (even though you know he doesn't).

So, imagine how heavenly it felt the first time he got to sleep on your lap. He remembers it as if it happened yesterday.

He had come home after a tough day of practice, in which his coach seemed even more angry than usual and just determined to make the whole team's day a living hell. Everything in him was aching, from his back to his feet, and he could swear he had a fever or something, because his head was starting to throb too. All Isagi wanted to do was get home and lay down, even if it means sleeping without showering (which shows just how tired he was).

"Honey? You're home!" he heard you saying from the kitchen "Welcome home!"

He tried to answer your sweet voice welcoming him home. He really did. But his mouth just wouldn't answer his brain's commands. So, he was just standing, staring at you with his mouth wide open, looking like an idiot.

"Isagi? Are you feeling alright?"

He couldn't even register what he was doing, but the next thing he knew, he walked closer to you. His body was just moving on it's own, as if being as close to you as possible was as natural for him as breathing.

"Sweetie, you're starting to scare me. Do you need to go to the doctor? Did something happen today at practice?"

He couldn't resist the urge to hug you anymore, even though he was trying to restrain himself because he was still stinky from practice and he knew just how much you hated it when he hugged or kissed you without showering first. He couldn't explain it, but you looked so huggable at the moment! He took a step closer, hugging you tight and burying his face in the crook of your neck, innaling deeply and letting out a satisfied sigh. One of his hands was travelling your waist while the other was playing with the hem of your shirt.

"Yoichi!" you exclaimed, voice worried yet still not loud enough to make his head ache even more (he doesn't even think your voice will ever be capable of doing him any harm) "You're burning up! You have a fever! I can't believe it, I told you to take better care of yourself!"

Ah. So he was right. He had a fever. That's why training was so hard today.

"Hm" he muttered, still with his head in your neck. He closed his eyes, enjoying the moment you both were having.

"Stay at the couch, I'll go grab some medicine at the bathroom."

"Noooo, don't leave me here" he said, clearly affected by his sickness. It looks like his mouth finally started to work again. "I don't want to be away from youuuu"

"Yoichi, my honey, you're clearly not thinking straight right now. But I won't go away! I'll be back in like 30 seconds. Sit on the couch and count, I swear it won't take long"

He sighed, but complied anyway, sitting at the couch and waiting (im)patiently.

You were right, because in almost no time you came back with pills and a cup of water. If there was a sport where the champion had to be the person who brought a glass of water and medicine to their sick boyfriend the fastest, you would win, Isagi thought (and that thought made him strangely proud).

"Here. Drink it up" he obeyed

"Everything hurts"

"I know it does, love. What you need right now is sleep. Come here" you said, patting your lap. If Yoichi was in his right mind, he would've blushed hard and maybe even denied at first, but he wasn't. He just wanted to rest, and he always dreamed about laying in your lap. So, he quickly grasped the opportunity.

And boy was it as good as he imagined it would be. Even better, actually. Your thighs were fluffier than any other pillows he had ever used before, and he felt like he could hibernate there. And as if it couldn't get any better, you started playing with his hair. He was in heaven. He couldn't even fell the pain anymore, and he was sure it wasn't just the medicine doings.

"I love your thighs" he admitted, a honesty he wouldn't have when he was healthy, which made you chuckle "And I love you too. Thank you." He kissed the inner part of your thigh to show you just how serious he was about it

"I love you too, Yoichi. Now, rest. We don't want the best striker of the world to be sick all week, do we?"

"If it means getting to lay on your lap everyday, I would be sick my whole life"

"You're silly"

"And you're the love of my life"

"Good night, Isagi"

"Good night, my love"

Masterlist

[miifu666]

"Let me go back, to a time before it was too late"

Happy Halloween!!! (Update: im late. Very late.) i haven't seen much love for Animation Wukong from the game :( so i decided to try that style when making this reel. Also bonus point cause i had the audio that perfectly sounds like how i imagined Suklha! And i got too ambitious and put too much thought into this animatic my bad ♡

"A trickster monkey, with a heart of gold"

Is what she would always say, chuckling at his unusual and life-threatening antics. Both are thrill seeker, one daringly more composed and mature than the other. Yet, they both have the same wreaking havoc amongst mankind mindset.

Time will only tell which of the two would suffer a gruesome fate.

Unsurprisingly, the mammal is more tempered than the arthropod. It has always been his flaw, seeing things in red before opening up his mind and look around. Fate has always been on his side, so far he hasn't suffer the consequences of his action too much, once he did something bad. He's been punished for it. But he's still living, breathing, enjoying the peaches on flower fruit mountain.

He's still living.

He's breathing.

Time feels so slow.

He can barely feel his chest move.

He's not dead is he? No that can't be, he's a sage now. Immortal even.

Yet why does he feel so numb as he look at the mirror infront of him? A ritual, that pig said. A rumor he heard, mankind likes to do anything within their power to rewind the past just like him.

"So why dont you try it, kid?"

As time waits, he stares at his own reflection in the mirror. Worn out and fatigued plastered around his eyes, his cheeks, his wrinkles. This is ridiculous. Why would he believe what that pig said? What if its a stupid way to trick him?? Wukong didn't have time to get angry, he heard of a way to turn back the time and he went along with it. Impulsively.

He is.

He's doing it now. The good amount of incense and red candles filled the room, maybe thats why he's feeling heavy. The smoke filled room decreased a fair amount of oxygen. He peeled the peaches, just as bajie said. He's trying, his hands trembling as he cuts it into 8 pieces. Make it look perfect, he thought.

Scaring the vendor near the town when he bought a large amount of incense and candles, stole a fair amount of peaches, and scoured around the forest for a shrine with a mirror. He was desperate.

The monkey's eyes fallen shut. Maybe he needs some good sleep, just a while. He's been waiting a long time to have the time right.

Just for a while.

Maybe if he can't see her now.

He'll see her again in his dreams.

Its all his fault anyway-

"Monkey?"

Artwork ©️ Miifu666

Writings ©️ Miifu666

[devantesmithpelly]

hi!! saw your tags and if you want to say more abt the maxiel time travel fic in your head I would love to see it

dropped back in time fic

- in 2024 daniel is finally coming to terms with the fact that he does in fact like men. he's been putting off thinking about it but now the writing is on the wall with his f1 career and he has to admit that the time he made out with a dude in a club it wasnt because he was drunk it was because he wanted to do it

- after singapore he's like fuck it im retired time to fuck a guy!!! if they dont want me at least i can give myself this!!! he like makes a plan, gives himself a pep talk in a mirror, goes to a gay club, immediately strikes out with a dude and goes home to lick his wounds

- falls asleep and wakes up and hes in 2018 (have to decided exactly when and exactly how he finds him but) he's confronted with a young max who just wants him sooooo bad its crazy. daniels like ummmm is this really how he was? is this a weird fucked up dream? he decides that its an alternate universe where max is in love with him

- (because in 2024 max has just gotten out of a pretty serious longterm relationship with a woman and before that a very repressed daniel DID NOT let himself believe that max genuinely liked him PLUS after he told max he was leaving red bull max got very weird about him and it took a little while for their friendship to recover and yes in the last yearish max has been kind of vaguely intense about him sometimes but also a now willing to admit he likes men daniel feels like he's projecting his own desires onto max)

- so obviously young max is like hanging off of this sexy older daniel with a mustache (daniel thinks its hilarious because IN HIS UNIVERSE max was soooo weird about daniel having a mustache like he hated it or something and what a funny contrast) and young max is like daniel maybe to get back to your own time you should fuck me. probably thats how we fix it. and daniels like well no one else wants me but he does and this isnt even real SO WHAT THE HELL and he and max bone down real nasty style they have mind blowing life changing its-extra-good-because-its-them sex

- the sex made it feel wayyy to real to daniel and hes kinda freaking out and thinking and young max is on cloud nine and hes like i will tell my daniel that i want to be with him and you will tell yours and daniels like max no. you cant tell your daniel i know him and he would not handle it well he wouldnt know how to treat you right and you deserve better than what he could give you you haveeee to let him go (daniel also obviously knows his younger self is about to tell max that he's leaving red bull) and max is like what the hell. but daniel's like max promise me you wont promise me you will live you own life dont sit around waiting for me

- a baby max who is obviously upset but extremely determined says fine EYE wont say anything to my daniel but YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING TO YOUR MAX!!!! and daniels like no my max doesnt want me and max is like im him so i know for a fact he does so dont be a pussy okay?? and they can both feel daniel is about to leave so daniel just says alright max and kisses him and then hand wavy magic stuff he wakes back up in 2024

- daniels like well that was fucked up. but now he has all this free time to think about it and do some soul searching and probably he does finally fuck some more guys and it's like good but still nothing like it was when he was with max but that wasnt real. or was it? but it wasnt... and he cant just call up max at the end of the season as he's in a tight race for wdc so he just has his little eat pray love retirement moment and finds peace and clarity and he's ready to move on with life

- but then its whenever the season is over and daniel is like in monaco?? or maybe even in australia?? wherever he is someone is ferociously knocking on his door and he opens it to find max who is red faced and angry and stares down daniel and says "it MUST have happened by now" and daniels like "woah max what? what must have happened?" and max is like "five years i have been waiting but you really are too much of a pussy to say anything" and daniels stomach drops out of his ass and hes like "max..." and max is like "daniel i told you always i would want you and i meant it"

- so they fuck and then they talk it out and then they can be together happily ever after

[stories4you04-x]

Dearest Readers,

When overhearing being the wife of Anthony Bridgerton was like a dream I thought it wasnt true. A dream that one must dream of living. He is according to his wife the most caring and loving husband but when in public he is different. He had a different personality. A sense of regality one dreams of achieving. One that his newlywed wife Y/N could easily match for events and balls during the season. But this article is how he dropped this facade in public...

"Anthony do you feel up to a walk today the weather is ever so lovely" Y/N announced to her husband who was sat in a chair reading the book he was currently reading. "Yes the weather is lovely today I believe a walk would be quite nice" Anthony said whilst placing his bookmark in his book and settling it on the table beside him. It only took a few minutes for the newlywed pair to get ready.

They walked hand in hand in the local park which was surrounded with other people. As they walked people bowed or tipped their hats towards them as there was an aura of regalness that surrounded the pair. "Anthony look Hyacinths we must pick some for your mother she does love this flower" he smiled at the way she practically dragged him over towards the flowers. "Very well I guess we should mother has been feeling a little down recently maybe these can lift her spirits" she nodded and started to pick ones that looked big and full of life without a care in the world. However Anthony looked around and noticed a few bees buzzing around the flowers. "Y/N please be careful" she turned around to him "whatever for?" He looked panicked and said "there are bees" she smiled "they will be fine im not making them angry" she continued to pick them not realising the one she had picked had a bee nestled withing one of the flowers which travelled onto her collar bone.

Anthony had turned around to look at his wife as she had stopped to bask in the sun she smiled at him until she saw his face drop and she looked confused at him "Anthony whats wrong?" He shouted "Stay still please" His wife started walking towards him "why what's the matter my love?" He had tears in his eyes "please just stay still" she looked down as she felt something crawling on her and she realised a bee was on her collar. She wafted the bee for it to fly away. Anthony got scared as he heard her cry "ouch it stung me" he couldn't breathe "no no no no Y/N stay with me please" he pleaded holding onto her face "love what is the matter its just a sting I am fine" It wasnt until he was fully panicking on the floor within his wifes arms that he began to calm "but you got stung you could die" she seemed shocked at how he announced the statement "love you can't die from a sting unless the person is allergic" he calmed slightly "what can I do to get you to calm fully" he thought "can we get a doctor to check please my wife I can't loose you" she looked into his eyes as she held him "of course we will go straight away but let's enjoy the sun for a little longer"

She was getting a full body check by the doctor under Anthony's orders. He waited outside pacing back and forth whilst his two brothers benedict and Colin sat in the nearest chairs "Anthony sit down she is going to be fine" Colin pleaded. "No my wife is in there she got stung" he started panicking again until Benedict stood and grabbed Anthony's shoulder and forced him into the chair "she is going to be fine if something was to happen it would have happened by now so calm down and sit still for a few more minutes the doctor should be done soon" Benedict then sat in the other chair. Violet heard all the commotion upstairs and went to find out whatever was happening "sons what is happening?" Anthony stood and hugged his mother "Y/N got stung picking those Hyacinths for you downstairs and she is with the doctor right now she said she was ok but I'm scared I can loose her too mother" she placed a hand on his cheek as he released from the hug "Anthony your wife is a strong woman if she says she is ok then she is perfectly ok" he nodded and sat back down.

A few minutes later the door opened Anthony jumped out of his chair. The doctor said nothing but nodded towards the four standing at the door "go Anthony" his mother said pushing him towards the door. "Y/N love is everything ok the doctor said nothing" he walked towards the bed where she was laying "perfectly ok" she smiled and he released a breath he did not realise he was holding "However..." his breath hitched again "...there was something he found. He was quiet because I swore him to secrecy until I told you and the family" he was stressed "love what was it?" She smiled at him "I am with child" his jaw dropped and a few seconds later his face contorted into a smile "A... A baby?" She nodded "You are to be a father" she announced and he cheered ran out the room and told everyone outside. She could hear the claps and cheers outside and he ran back in and gave her a kiss full of passion "Anthony calm down I know its exciting but I don't want to have to call the doctor back because you have hurt yourself"

It took a few days for the news to be spread and be written into Lady Whistledowns article. The newlywed couldn't have been more happy for a singular bee sting to be the product of such big news.

A/N I am rubbish at writing I don't know where I just got this inspo but I just had to write I hope you enjoy 😊

[project-sekai-facts]

the way i only JUST realized that in An's "The Overflowing Feelings" card behind her isn't An's reflection no that is NAGI.....

and im pretty sure there is a bunch more symbolism in it because like. i think nagi is wearing a hospital gown in that card instead of her regular clothes but it is kinda hard to tell

sometimes i see an ask and think "i could make this so much worse" and this is one of those times.

that's not a reflection, that is straight up ghost Nagi. if you notice the grunge texture is actually overlaid over the entire illustration, not just behind the fence. it's not a mirror, it's a fence that separates the living (an) and the dead (nagi). i also like how everything except Nagi on the dead side is blurry even the plants that are right next to her. i can't give an actual explanation because annoyingly this set didn't get a blog post, but my personal interpretation of this is that it's meant to show how Nagi is still close to An even after she's gone (personally I like to connect it to An carrying her memory of Nagi in her heart becase she's clutching her shirt over her heart, but i think you could interpret it as Nagi watching over An from the spirit world too if you want).

i think it could be a hospital gown based on general appearance and the way it ties at the back, but as you said it's hard to tell. it would make some sense though since she died in hospital. but it could just be a generic black dress, since it doesn't look like the hospital clothes she wore in the story. also if you look closely you'll notice her lineart is in a white-grey color which makes her look more ghostly than An.

Also notice how all the other pillars have the red flowers on them (the ones from the gekokujo jacket). I believe these are gerberas, which are sometimes used as funeral flowers. i.e the flowers placed on the other pillars are to say goodbye, but she's actually right there with An.

i think i can still make this worse.

contrast with An's card from Vivid Old Tale. y'know, the one all about her relationship with Nagi and the first time they actually implied that Nagi's dead (they subtly hint at it in BFBY but it was far more obvious in VOT).

This set actually did get a blog post so I can go on about the symbolism. The cards in this set were based on the theme of "warmth and nostalgia", which heavily connects to the event being about An looking back at her childhood and time spent with Nagi, and how much she loves her home.

Sunflowers obviously tie in to that warmth, but they also symbolise positivity, happiness, and hope (the color yellow does as well). These connect with both her dreams in the present and memories of the past.

Also this part of the interview:

The people she loves have seen her grow up and smile compared to when she was a kid and crying after running away. Now while people she loves who have watched her grow up could be her mom or dad, or even Taiga, considering the untrained card...

The person she's smiling at is Nagi.

And that's what makes the LUTF set so fucked up because just LOOK there's so much contrast between them. Sunflowers representing VBS' hope compared to the despair in the LUTF set caused by their defeat to Taiga. The bright colors next to greyscale (and red, which has several different connotations multiple of which are applicable here), how cold the LUTF set is next to the VOT set. An holding flowers in both but in one they're flowers symbolising joy and in one they're flowers symbolising grief. The VOT set is youthful and lively but in the LUTF set everyone is angry, despairing and grieving a life lost.

The fact that the POV in An's VOT card is probably Nagi watching her all grown up (which she never got to do in reality) vs Nagi being dead and separated from An in her LUTF card, not to mention that Nagi is not watching her anymore but instead facing away because she's left An behind (but was she ever really with An in the VOT card in the first place?). An crying in both untraineds but in one she's being comforted by Nagi and in one she's crying because Nagi is gone.

In some ways it's like the VOT set is An's idealistic look at what life will be like when Nagi gets home and the LUTF set is An coming to terms with the reality.

this card fucks me up.

[captain-is-king]

okay i didn’t want to annoy anyone with a stream of consciousness live-blogging of the episodes which CAME OUT TONIGHT!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!

so here are the notes i took while watching if anyone wants to scream with me please feel free to do so

EDIT: HOLY SHIT IM A FUCKING IDIOT CHRIS IS CHRIS RODRIGUEZ!!! I WASNT EXPECTING HIM THIS SOON IN THE SERIES AT ALL. oh god and percy being friends with him now makes the betrayal so much worse oh shit oh man.

episode one:

- blackjack was percy seeing through the mist oh my god

- MYTHOMAGIC

- THIGHTY WHITIES

- oh my god they just trade sandwich toppings. that is so cute what the fuck

- grover psychanalyzing people. yes. good.

- mrs. dodds scene was underwhelming but that’s okay (edit: fight choreo is absolutely phenomenal the rest of the time)

- i am GASPING out loud at grover telling the headmaster

- obviously he’s doing it because it’s not safe for percy

- but WOOOOOOW

- eddie! what a cameo lmao

- i like that sally appears to argue with gabe more but also i’m worried she isn’t going to fucking murder gabe. it’s important to me that she kills that guy.

- also upset that percy probably won’t say “i know gabe would like to offer everyone in this lovely city free appliances” at the end

- near the septic tanks interesting detail to include 👀

- percy judging so hard like “you’re telling me found jesus”

- oh interesting the mist is responsible for grover which honestly makes more sense than hiding it? like if the mist takes care of monsters why not satyrs

- boys? i’m actually 24 I LOVE HIM

- mythomagic as training is fun

- would’ve been cooler if he swore on the styx and there was thunder but that’s okay

- omg i didn’t even realize his rain jacket was actually red until now. SUCH a good detail

- good animation of the minotaur very good

- oh my god the fight was the same like i could SEE the words on the page as i was watching it

- HE MUST BE THE ONE

- i grinned like a FOOL through the whole credits they’re so beautiful oh my god

episode two reactions under the cut!!!! i loved episode one but i liked episode two EVEN MORE so i have a lot of things to say.

episode two:

- annabeth just watching percy sleep with her arms crossed. she would.

- YOU DROOL WHEN YOU SLEEP oh my god the way she says it is like. so calculating. i always pictured it like a flippant thing in the book but no she’s like. angry. like it’s a remark on his character and she will use this detail to take him down in battle and it’s perfect and funny

- oh my god he’s turning away so grover doesn’t see him crying. i feel like this is a detail in the book somewhere but now i can’t find it happening so maybe i’m just losing it

- ok so the big house is not what i ever pictured but it is gorgeous and i love this version of it

- the diet coke

- but did you?

- he’s starting with me

- excuse me your highness

- dad? yes peter. it’s percy. exactly

- the audacity of mr. d. i’m obsessed

- “why must you ruin everything”

- omg the owls

- oh the cabins are so cool

- like one thing i never was able to picture was how camp was laid out and i just am eating so well this is so fun to look at

- I KNOW WHAT YOURE GOING THROUGH he really does though doesn’t he FUCK now i’m emotionally

- holy shit juniper????

- LMAO okay definitely not juniper she looks much older

- council of cloven elders is so much spookier than i thought

- mmmmm grover figured it out interesting

- also apparently names don’t have power. i mean that is the stance in heroes of olympus they did not care about names. so i get it

- so like. this is kronos? looking like the grim reaper in percy’s dreams?

- ok honestly the lack of annabeth so far is very upsetting

- mmmm “glory” interesting, luke

- who is this spunky kid with the hair

- YES. YES WHEELCHAIR USING DEMIGOD YES!!!

- idk why but them just using lighters takes me out of it. but it made me laugh

- yesssss hephaestus kids my beloved

- spunky kid with the hair is chris. NOW WHO THE FUCK IS CHRIS

- holy shit this is so sad. percy alone in the woods burning his candy

- OH MY GOD FOR HIS MOM oh my god i’m not going to survive this episode

- “i think i’ve made some friends here”

- oh this is too much. it’s giving “good kid” energy from the musical

- YES angry percy. i always felt like the musical emphasized how like. angry and upset percy was at his dad. obviously it’s a huge plot point in the book but it feels like more apparent in the musical and i always LOVED that about the musical so of course i LOVE that it is being emphasized in the show as well

- if percy doesn’t cut off medusas head and mail it to olympus after this and trying so hard to get his dad’s attention it will be SUCH a letdown i have to say it i’m sorry

- good bathroom scene. GOOD bathroom scene.

- are you stalking me annabeth

- yes

- oh i’m so in love with her

- like we knew she’d be phneomenal. but we’d seen so little of her in promo stuff!!! and i HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG TO SEE MY GIRL!!!!! AND HERE SHE FUCKING IS!!!!!!

- also saying annabeth is the head of the athena cabin and seeing tiny little annabeth is SO. funny. like we all knew it was funny that a twelve year old was in charge but SEEING it makes it so painfully obvious

- “she’s my little sister”

- they call them forbidden kids that’s a little silly but that’s fine

- also i enjoy that they’re talking about thalia-luke-annabeth earlier

- BABY ANNABETH HIDING IN AN ALLEY. oh i hope we get to actually SEE this scene one day because i do love it so

- “can you ask her to knock it off.” obsessed.

- these waterfalls are SO. cool. the one thing the descriptions of camp were always missing. i love a waterfall

- the kid playing the war drums has me laughing out loud

- laughing OUT LOUD at percy. flossing and peeing and whistling

- oh my god a lizard. i would too.

- just laying down. picking at a leaf

- i just noticed he actually has vans. skater!percy lives

- GUESS ILL LOSE DESERT PRIVILEGES good book line so glad it’s in here

- the fight choreo is SO. GOOD

- “NOT BAD HERO” ALSO GOOD BOOK LINE

- you were here the whole time and you didn’t help me? yes. what is wrong with you!!

- oh i love her SO. much. i love them both so fucking much

- one of my FAVORITE lines is “poseidon, earthshaker stormbringer. hail perseus jackson son of the sea god” and i’m so glad we got it

- i like jason mantzoukas because, like that post about gene wilder, you can really believe he’d let those kids die

- also one of my favorite scenes is annabeth being invisible in the big house the whole time percy is being offered a quest and chiron is like “someone already offered to go with you” and annabeth takes her hat off to reveal she has been there the whole time. and it’s always been so funny to me but i don’t mind that the humor of it was still maintained in the scene after capture the flag being altered a little bit. and we still got “not bad hero”

- oh shit are we not getting the oracle. i guess it makes sense. it’s a lot of time when someone can just tell percy they think it’s hades but like. actually. BETRAYED BY ONE WHO CALLS YOU A FRIEND!! FAIL TO SAVE WHAT MATTERS MOST!! ITS KIND OF IMPORTANT and the oracle is like a very important plot point later

- I AM SALLY JACKSON’S SON. YOU TELL THEM

[lixiehugs]

fanmade video : moments when nct were caring and protective of mila!!

warnings : mentions of eating disorders.

a/n : hello!! welcome to my once-a-year upload piece /hj!! i say this every time i come back, but this time i feel like i might actually start writing more. i have so many writings i have been sitting on for my girlies (esp mila), and i am dying to share them!! please wait for me!!

a/n : im not even gonna lie i kinda ate with this photo like💅🏻 (JUST IGNORE HER HAIR PLEASE😭)

"hello, everyone, and welcome back to another video on my channel! this episode will be none other than the boys of nct taking care of our producer, mila!! not to be confused with mila taking care of the boys, however (which will be a future video). these are some of the sweetest moments where mila didn't have her angry protection face on<3 enjoy the video!!"

when the boys give mila their jackets🥹

so, we all know how much mila hates puffer jackets.

like, she will do ANYTHING to get out of wearing a puffer jacket.

except when it is for a photo shoot, then she remains our professional queen🥰

but mila would rather wear like 7 layers instead of a puffer jacket bc she is so stubborn😭

like same but is it really worth it girl???

and my gal is out here in like 4°c in her leather jacket and a hoodie trying to convince the guys that she isn't cold like

MISS MA'AM WE CAN SEE YOUR BREATH?? YOUR TEETH ARE CHATTERING???

i just know that taeyong begs her to put on a heavier jacket every day, but she never does

but on this day, mila said that she thought it wasn't that cold so she thought that her leather jacket would be okay.

turns out it was not!! she was freezing because it got breezy.

most of the other boys were fine with the temperature, even having their jackets unzipped

but when they saw mila getting out of the van clutching her already zipped jacket around herself, practically trying to hide in her coat, they all went 😦😦

jeno, renjun, mark, haechan, and jaemin all came running to her with their coats😭 (jisung and chenle were cold)

she laughed and tried to play it off like she wasn't that cold, even going as far to let her hands poke out of her sleeves and let go of her tight grip on her jacket, but as soon as she did, she was wincing at the cold and looking at her members for help

without hesitation, jeno shrugged his jacket over her shoulders and zipped it up.

jaemin then tried to zip it up fully and have her put her hood up, but mila stopped him because she knew she could not take pictures like that.

basically, mila is never going to be that cold again!! not on the dreamies' watch😡

making sure mila has something to eat🥹

mila has said this herself, i'm not hating!! but she is a PICKY EATER.

like PICKY PICKY

mila said that when she first moved to korea, she would only eat "white people food" because it's all she was used to.

"i only started using the flavorings of the ramen packs after living here for like 6 months"💀

she said that she didn't even feel asian because she hated all the food and didn't know how to use chopsticks🤧

but!! that was a while ago, and mila has gotten so much better!!

as a picky eater myself, i know how hard it is to go out of your comfort zone with food.

just the fact that when she was a trainee, she would have to make her own food and take that with her whenever the boys wanted to go out makes me want to cryyyyy

but now she likes enough foods to go out with them🥹

anyways, back to the situation at hand;

in episode 2 of chillin' in the dream 8lace, when mark and jeno get the punishment of having to cook for the rest of the members, they wanted to make bibimmyeon. when jaemin came into the kitchen to help them (and also to make sure they didn't burn the kitchen down), mark asked if mila would eat bibimmyeon, to which jaemin says "yes, she will"

this is because mila used to hate bibimmyeon!! fun fact~

this situation also happened in the beginning of the 6th episode.

the boys who were awake wanted tuna and mayo fried rice (which needs fried eggs) for breakfast, and jaemin, being the angel he is, remembered that mila didn't like tuna and mayo fried rice. so, when mark asked for jaemin to scramble some eggs for him, he easily decided to make some for mila<3

when jeno stopped her from tripping

this was kind of a shock for everyone imo??

like, it's not CRAZY or anything, i just have never seen mila have any other problems walking in heels before.

but whatever, she still slayed💅🏻

anyways, at the 2020 asia artist awards, nct dream won the award for best emotive award - music.

all 8 of them stood up and walked up the stairs to the stage. though the order left mila and jeno at the back of the line.

they were all wearing matching black suits, except that mila was wearing 6 INCH HEELS instead of normal dress shoes like the guys were.

and these were like STILETTOS!! super hard to walk in for no reason

now we all know that mila can walk in heels. we've seen her slay in some stilettos in the past.

but, that does not take away from the fact that mila has said on many different occasions that she does not like wearing heels.

now, since she already doesn't like them, why on earth would the staff put her in 6 INCH STILETTOS?????? makes no sense

anyway, as she was stepping up onto the stairs, she stumbled and almost fell backwards into jeno.

jeno, of course, being the gentleman he is, caught her gently by her waist and quickly got her back onto her feet. he then made sure she was steady up the stairs by holding his hand.

once they were at the top of the 5 or so steps, he linked their arms together and walked with the rest of the group to the award presenter.

once they finished that and went back to their seats, mila and jeno were also at the end of the line because they knew mila would need a bit longer to go down the steps.

jeno went in front of her and held her hand down the stairs so she wouldn't fall 🫶🏻

haechan getting mad about mila's sasaeng

woo, this one is already making me mad, and i haven't even written anything yet😡

so, mila's infamous evil sasaeng. the one that broke into the dream dorm and attacked mila while the members were sleeping. (a/n : there will be a fic in detail on this soon!!)

not much is known in detail about this incident. all we have is the account of the sasaeng herself and the statements that have been made by SM and the members.

but what we do know is that there was a big change in how the members treated her after this happened.

there was also a big change in mila.

mila went from being happy and giddy to being quiet and reserved for the first time in a while. this was not too long after her nct2018 hardships as well, so that made everyone even more angry as it seemed like she could never catch a break.

the members, most noticeably the dreamies, all became more cold for lack of a better word.

they would go outside and have this slight look of betrayal on their faces. they would not be as happy or smiley, they would tell less jokes.

everyone was just upset.

however, haechan was arguably one of the most upset ones.

as we know, haechan is mila's roommate in the 127 dorm. but, mila also has her own room in the dream dorm, which is why she constantly moves around and splits her time between the 2 dorms. mila has said that she stays at the dream dorm more often when she does not have promotions because she likes it better over there and she likes having her own room.

so having her personal space and safety violated like this in the place that she calls "home" is just disgusting to me.

haechan went on vlive a few days after the statements were released to talk about the situation.

"how is mila doing?" he reads before placing his phone down and covering his mouth with his hands while thinking about what to say. "she's okay. she's not great, but she's doing her best. she's been staying in the 127 dorm with us. she hasn't even gone over to the dream dorm since what happened." he pauses, looking down before taking a breath in. he looks back up at the camera with a low glare, not doing a good job at trying to hide it. "mila is afraid to sleep, hell, even be in her own dorm now because of you... i hope you are ashamed of the damage you have caused." he speaks bitterly, his words obviously directed at the sasaeng.

he ended the live not long after, giving a short message to please not wait outside their dorms anymore.

mila not having money on a show to buy ice cream, so doyoung and yuta buy it for her

just mila being the cutest once again, what do ya know.

everyone was buying treats and snacks on this nct life show but mila didn't have any money :((((

she was so excited to go into the store and get snacks, but then she just went 😯😕

she quickly tried to wipe off her frown and look around the store anyway, not wanting her members to think she was upset.

when everyone had finished picking out their snacks and were in line to purchase them, taeyong noticed that mila didn't have anything.

"mila, why aren't you getting anything?" he asks, a gentle smile on his face. johnny also listens for her response. "i don't have any money." she replies, shrugging. "aigoo, i'm sure we can get you something." he pats her shoulder before going up to yuta and doyoung at the front of the line, just behind taeil who was buying his items. "doyoungie, yuta~," he calls. "yes?" they answer. "do you mind buying some snacks for our miely? she doesn't have any money." the leader asks. their eyes widen. "of course!! you can get anything you want, mila!! just be quick!" yuta says, and they grin at her. she smiles and perks up. "okay!! thank you!" she says before quickly jogging back into the ice cream aisle and picking up an oreo cone, then she goes and gets some chocolate. she brings them up to the counter with yuta and doyoung's things. "you sure you don't want anything else?" doyoung asks. "no, this is okay." she smiles. they pay for it, and she is beaming on the way out.

they would do anything for her🥹❤️‍🩹

jaemin, jeno, and mark all being attentive when mila stands up because she gets dizzy

a/n : you're just going to have to imagine that it is mila sitting in the first photo with a member in front of her and that there is no skateboard in the second photo

nctzens have thought for a long time that mila is anemic.

this is due to mila's repeated mentionings that whenever she stands up or even sits up in some cases, she feels dizzy, gets tunnel vision, and gets black spots in her vision as well. she said that these are her most frequent symptoms, but they can get worse, including fainting and having her ears ring.

mila has never confirmed her having anemia. the last time she spoke of the rumors was back in 2021 where she said, "I'm not sure if i have anemia... my older sister has the same symptoms as me, but when she went to the doctor, she was told she didn't have anemia. what i can confirm is that i have low blood pressure. i'm not sure why, as high blood pressure actually runs in my family, but that has been present since i was a child. and i have talked to a doctor about this in the past, uh... orthostatic hypotension? that's what she said my symptoms sounded like. czennies, I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me but thank you for the concern!"

despite no definitive diagnosis for what happens to her, it doesn't stop the other members from caring for her well.

one key example of this happened in episode 6 of chillin' in the dream 8lace. mila was refusing to get up out of bed so jaemin went in to get her. he pulled her to stand up from where she was laying quite quickly, causing her to say, "ah, jaemin, jaem, jaem, slowly, slowly, slowly! i'm dizzy." quickly remembering her condition, jaemin stopped and helped her stand up slowly, allowing her to adjust, all while holding her hands in case she were to fall over.

though this was one instance that jaemin forgot about her condition, there have been many other clips of the boys watching her get up carefully.

most of the time it is subtle actions, such as the members simply keeping an eye on her or lending a hand out to keep her steady. they often let mila walk in front of them just to prevent the possibility of her falling with no one to catch her as she often tries to power through her dizziness, thus making her more dizzy.

renjun and chenle always being sweet and helpful when she tries to speak chinese

mila tries so hard to work on her chinese these days :(( i cry

like my gal speaks 2 languages like a NATIVE and then has borderline fluency in 2 MORE, and is still trying to learn 2 MORE

like gal 😭 i can barely speak my native language (i only speak one language)

she is such an overachiever and FOR WHYYYY

but i love her 🫶🏻

though she often ends up thanking the fans in english (when mark isn't there) and in japanese, once mila tried to thank them briefly in chinese!!

mila has said before that she used to study chinese quite a bit back in 2016 when she was really close with winwin and chenle, but since then, she became more focused on japanese and lost time to study it.

she has always said that chinese was really hard for her just because of dealing with the characters. this is why she is quite good at speaking chinese but not good at reading it!

however, we all know mila is quite emotive when presenting and giving speeches, so her tones often fluctuate with her words. this was another issue for mila as she struggled to remember the tones of the words and tried to keep her voice at a neutral level.

yet despite all of these struggles, mila had been giving a short thank you to their chinese fans at an award show when she stammered and forgot what she was saying.

though this is totally normal for a foreigner trying to speak another language, mila is always super prepared for foreign language speeches, so she was caught a little off-guard.

her face went a little red, and she apologized before turning around to chenle and renjun on her left.

they were both looking at her with the cutest and most loving smiles🥹

the crowd gave some encouraging cheers as mila spoke to them for only a few seconds before turning back to the microphone and finishing her speech like a champ🫶🏻

it's just so cute to me that renle + wayV taught mila all the chinese she knows and how she's still so good at it

and how proud of her they are🥹

we choose to forget when mila was first learning chinese and renjun told her he was teaching her how to introduce herself but she was really insulting herself😭

jeno allowing her to sleep on his shoulder comfortably

mila is such a HARDWORKER!!!!!

if you disagree, you're literally wrong.

she does not have credits on almost every SM release after 2017 fOR NOTHING

so, because of her tendency to overwork herself and prioritise work over sleep and her well-being, the boys are always the first people to let her sleep instead of waking her up if they need something.

it always pains them a little bit to wake her up, even if they are about to be late because they tried to let her sleep in.

basically, if mila is showing ANY signs of being tired (it could literally be rubbing her eyes), they boys are instantly: "PLEASE SLEEP"

so, when the dreamies were in a van going to a mystery location for a fun video, mila unsurprisingly, grew drowsy.

mila was sitting next to jeno in the backseat of this van, steadily growing more and more tired.

but knowing mila, she tried to keep herself awake, not letting herself lean on the window or on her hand. this lead to her dozing off while sitting straight up, her head bobbing down lightly.

jeno was looking at his phone, not paying attention to her.

until he saw her drooping head and was like 😶

he froze for a second before slowly and gently pressing mila's head down to his shoulder, sitting up a little bit so it would be more comfortable for her.

mila did not object. she was so fucking tired.

jeno was so proud of himself as he felt mila kinda relax into him and let more of her weight rest on his shoulder.

he looked up a little with a 😌 look on his face to see jaemin filming him with a grin.

no words are exchanged as jeno's smile grows, and jaemin chuckles quietly before showing a thumbs up to the camera.

jisung and renjun sharing their umbrellas with her

now, while i'm sure all of the members would share their umbrellas with mila under the circumstance that she did not have one, we only have video evidence and jisung and renjun doing so <3

so, on this day where it was raining as nct dream were going to a schedule, mila did not have an umbrella

sooo many fans tried to spin this as mila being mistreated by the staff since all of the boys had umbrellas until another clip was released of mila giving her umbrella to a staff member

the staff repeatedly shook her head and refused, wanting mila to keep it, but she did not accept no for an answer and smiled big when the staff finally accepted.

some bodyguards around quickly tried to cover mila's head with their hands to protect her from the rain, thus catching the attention of jisung and renjun.

they both quickly came over, pushing their umbrellas toward her and not on themselves

mila immediately pushed their umbrellas back over their own heads and shooed them away.

they didn't let up and kept trying to talk to her for a few seconds.

mila laughs lightly and goes next to renjun under his umbrella, leaving jisung with a slight pout on his face.

"you're too big to share an umbrella!" mila exclaims, causing them all to laugh. the rest of their dialogue could not be heard in the video, this was the only thing intelligible.

with content expressions, mila goes under renjun's umbrella and they both put arms around each other; mila's arm going around his waist and renjun's arm going over her shoulders as they walk the short distance to the building.

nct 127 following the sidewalk rule

since the newly publicised "sidewalk rule" on social media, nctzens have brought up all the times that they have preached this before its popularity.

it's not seen as often with nct dream as every time they try (usually renjun, jeno, & jisung), mila just pushes them off and doesn't move.

this leads the boy to be very 🤨😖 because this is what their hyungs taught them to do???? why is she not accepting this gesture that the hyungs do all the time????

so, the dreamies don't really do it anymore, they just keep a watchful eye when she likes to balance on the curb of a busy road.

127 and even wayV however, are a different story.

maybe it's because they're older, but mila always listens when they guide her over to the non-road side of a sidewalk.

sometimes she looks a little 🤨 when her arm gets tugged away, but then she realises where she's standing.

most commonly, the members dragging her away from the cars are taeyong, johnny, kun, xiaojun, and doyoung. but there have been times where ten, jaehyun, and jungwoo have done it.

in the back of many nct 127 videos, most notably the ones where they are exploring the usa, mila can be seen being ushered away from the road by one or two of the members above.

it's just super cute and makes all czennies swoon over the neos' politeness 😵‍💫

the dreamies comforting her when she tries to be strong🥹

this day is not to be confused with the 191117 dream show ending meant!!!

a/n : lmk if i should make something that says in detail what mila said in her ending ment on the 191117 show!!

this was the first of the three dream shows back to back (191115).

mila said her ment not long after jisung did, so she was already emotional when it got to her turn.

jisung was crying as he tried to say his ment, so mila was already sad because she went to comfort him.

now mila HATES seeing jisung cry because it almost always makes her cry with him, so she was hugging jisung (not photo) before her turn.

she had intended for her ment to go a different route, but when it was her turn to talk, she just kinda let her words take her, not following her originally planned direction.

"aw... it's only the first day of the dream show, and i'm already crying ㅠㅠ i thought i would at least be able to be calm on the first day. but because of jisung~~ he made me sad ☹️." there is a brief pause where mila just looks around at the crowd with stars in her eyes. "but really, i can't blame him..." she looks down and swallows thickly before looking back up and blinking back her tears. the other members make various noises of teasing and telling her not to cry, some even coming closer, but mila takes a step back and laughs, telling them to go away. "no, no, i'm okay. i just need a second..." she flaps her hands as a way of shooing them, obviously growing more uneasy, stressed, and upset. with a deep breath, she starts again. "the members don't know this but," she starts, gaining the attention of all the boys. "before the show started today, i was crying in the bathroom because i was worried that this would be the start of our last shows and they wouldn't be strong enough... and i can't help but feel like it's my fault because..." she looks down again, this time for longer as she tries to hold back her tears. she doesn't succeed. tears fall, and her breathing starts to turn into small gasps and hiccups. chenle and haechan both come closer to her, haechan saying "aigoo, mila-yah..." and chenle saying something like "no, that's not..." and mila just taking a step back and flapping her hands to get them not to touch her. she knows that if she lets them comfort her, she will start crying. she wants to finish her ment first. "because i have had big inputs on nct dream's music, and if it's coming to an end..." a particular gasp leaves her lips with a small cry that reaches the microphone, making the crowd whine. the boys come up to her again. she tries to push them away again, but not as much as before. "...then i must have done something wrong." she cries, a deep wail leaving her chest as her hands come to cover her face, muffling her gasps but still allowing them to be picked up by the microphone. the crowd goes quiet, save for the growing volume of whines and telling her that's not true. jaemin pulls her into him, and she wraps her arms around him tightly, her cries into him now being picked up by his mic. chenle, haechan, and jeno are all around them rubbing mila's back as renjun tries to talk while comforting jisung at the same time, who had grown emotional all over again by mila's words.

in less than 2 minutes, mila had pulled away, immediately being met by the faces of her members, presumably asking if she was okay, to which she nods. a tissue is given to her by haechan and she dabs her face clean of tears while fanning her face. chenle helps fan her face, as well.

she keeps the tissue in her hand to repeatedly wipe her running nose as the others continue talking. chenle stays next to her this whole time with his arm around her and his head on her shoulder.

when mila twitched in her sleep and yuta helped 🥹

a/n : you're just going to have to imagine that mila is sleeping in the second one and not on her phone :)

it is a somewhat well-known fact that during stressful times, mila twitches in her sleep.

this info is not from sasaengs btw!!! mila has said this herself along with the members🥰

mila has said that she has done this since she was a kid and it usually means that she is juuust on the edge of falling asleep but not actually asleep.

this is why she hates it.

her stress prevents her from falling asleep when she so desperately needs it.

she will be drifting until she twitches and then she's awake again ☹️

so, when nct 127 were getting ready for a favorite (vampire) stage, mila fell asleep on one of the dressing room sofas while waiting for her turn for her makeup and hair.

in the background of an nct 127 fun video (like in the dressing room) she was waiting on the couch patiently when yuta sat down after finishing his look. she casually laid her head in his lap, which was nothing unusual (as we all know how much she loves yuta🤭)

she scrolled on her phone for a bit, not paying attention to anything and not being bothered by the conversations of her members and the staff.

eventually, she plopped her phone next to her face on the couch and closed her eyes, not moving at all from her original position.

due to her lack of movement, yuta thought that she was still awake. this was until the twitching started. yuta knew what it meant when mila started twitching like this, so he took a quick look at her, saw she was sleeping and leaning back in his spot before bringing his free hand to her hair.

he knew how much mila LOVES having her hair played with and how much it calms her down.

he softly twirled the strands and gave her head a light massage, instantly stopping her twitching and allowing her to sleep calmly before getting ready.

when mila had to be woken up for her turn in the hair and makeup chair, yuta pleaded for her to go last so she could get some extra rest in 🥹

when it was really time, and she had to go, yuta woke her up gently with a pout, cooing at her tired face

mila collapsing on stage

as stated previously, we all know about mila's low blood pressure. this causes her to become dizzy, faint, etc.

but there is one more thing i have neglected to talk about as i do not want to interpret it incorrectly.

and that is mila's history with eating disorders.

everything i will say has already been said by mila herself, her members, or SM.

mila has always had problems not eating enough throughout her entire childhood due to her dedication to her craft(s).

when she was really young and did gymnastics and dance, she would often forget to eat and just do acrobatics the whole day.

this is extremely unhealthy and dangerous as both gymnastics and dance are very demanding sports and require lots of sustenance.

regardless, mila has managed to take care of herself up until around late 2017-early 2018.

mila said that due to a multitude of things that i will not be getting into right now, she spent all of her time working in the studio producing/writing music or perfecting routines, and working on singing/raps. at this time she also focused her remaining time on her studies for her end-of-high school exams.

mila said that during this point in her life, she felt "guilty" taking time out just for herself. she felt like she always needed to be doing something productive.

food did not fall into this category.

mila would sacrifice eating over completing her schoolwork and idol/producer duties.

this caused her to experience a lot of burnout and to faint often because of stress and malnutrition.

though since then, mila has recovered, and takes care of herself (according to her and the members), she still has times where she can revert slightly.

like i said, she has been somewhat this way since she was a child, so it is easy to forget.

one big example of this was in early 2020 after a kick it stage.

this was one of those prerecorded stages due to covid starting to affect the industry.

mila slayed the stage, giving her all and doing her absolute best. you could not notice anything wrong when she was performing.

but after the cameras cut, and all that was left was stuff that would not go on tv, mila collapsed.

she was stood in her ending position, waiting for all the cameras to cut. she wasn't really paying attention, but in the video, you could see just how fast she was breathing and that she was swaying slightly in her stance.

once the other members moved and began to bow to the staff, mila's knees just crumbled, and she fell.

she landed on her knees and hands, her hair covering her face as she heaved in air. then she slumped over kinda on her stomach but still on her knees and elbows.

the other members didn't do anything for a moment. it's unclear whether they didn't notice or if they thought she was just tired from the demanding routine.

the first member to go over to her was taeyong. he looked a little nervous and kinda speed-walked over to her.

he crouched down next to her and moved to look at her face, moving some of her hair out of the way.

none of what they are saying can be heard, so all that we can assume is that he was asking her if she was okay.

he gets her to sit up and holds both of her hands in his. her eyes are closed, and she's still breathing heavily, obviously still really tired.

he asks her something else, and she shakes her head weakly before starting to slump over again. taeyong looks around for a moment before standing halfway up and pulling mila up with him.

she picks her up bridal style with mila barely clinging onto him as he carries her offstage. her eyes are closed as he does this.

there was a lot of fan uproar at this. fans were attacking SM for making her work so hard and demanding to give her more rest.

there was no response or acknowledgement from SM, the nct members, or mila herself.

when mila fell asleep on vlive

this vlive is actually one of my favorites just because of this interaction!!

it's just so sweet!!!

so basically, mila was on vlive in her shared room with haechan at the 127 dorm.

this had been after a day of schedules (we don't know exactly what) and she was just chitchatting about what happened that day and some things she saw on social media.

this wasn't unusual as mila had been going live more recently when this happened.

mila did say that the schedule ran a little later that day and that she was tired but that she also wanted to stay up and talk with czennies <333.

however, about 25 mins into the live, mila had been laying on her bed with the phone leaning against her open laptop screen. her head was resting on her folded elbows as she read the comments and talked contently.

due to this position and her growing tiredness, it was not difficult for mila to fall asleep.

fans thought that she was just resting her eyes for a moment and that she was still awake until it had been like 2 minutes of pure silence.

then all the comments were mixtures of "omg is mila asleep???" and "she's so cute aaaaa" and "sm really needs to let her rest smh"

she had only been out for around 10 minutes when haechan came in.

they share this room, so it is not a surprise that he came in unannounced.

the door cannot be seen from the vlive, but it can be heard closing and footsteps getting closer.

haechan appears behind mila to the side and quietly says "aigoo, mila fell asleep with her laptop on, let's fix this for my twin, eh?" he then reaches for her hands to move them off the keyboard to close the laptop when he notices that her phone is actually on vlive😭. "oh! hello~~" he greets cutely, giving a wave as he picks up the phone. "thank you for watching over mila, czennies. i will take over and make sure that she sleeps well! goodnight!"

he then ends the live, and we can assume that he finished getting all her stuff away so she could sleep<3

afterwards, on twitter, haechan was trending for being a lovely caring member as he acted so sweet without even knowing that he was being recorded

johnny stopping mila from falling off stage

okayyyy, so we all know that mila isn't clumsy, as she loves to remind us, but she lowkey is (don't tell her i said that).

so what transpired, was during the singapore show on the neo city - the origin tour in 2019. the stage was kinda an upside-down T shape with a little B-stage at the end.

mila was not paying attention to anything other than nctzens <3.

during replay (am 1:27), mila was looking into the crowd, as she does, with that big smile on her face.

she was squinting a bit, trying to read some of the signs that fans had up while also trying to dance around at the same time.

she was at the part in the stage where the B-stage starts. at the corner, she was leaning over to look at something. she was standing on that lower platform next to the stage that looks like she's on stage, but she's not really on it, you know???

anyway, once she finished reading, she turned towards the catwalk again and quite literally STEPPED OFF THE FUCKING STAGE

and she says she's not clumsy😑

but THANK GOD johnny was coming to the B-stage and was at the end of the catwalk. he SNATCHED her up and carried her for a few seconds before putting her down in the middle of the B-stage, where he was sure she couldn't fall off.

he looked at her for a minute, hands on her shoulders as they talked. none of what they were saying was picked up by their microphones, so we don't know what they said🤷‍♀️

mila nodded at him, and they both walked back down the catwalk to the main stage with hands around each other. probably just johnny being extra cautious now😖

none of the other members seemed to notice (probably a good thing because you KNOW taeyong would have scolded her).

after the show, mila went on her bubble to respond to czennies.

"i fell off the stage? no i didn't!!!! you're lying!!!" she joked with lots of emojis. she thanked them for their concern and promised it wouldn't happen again <3.

renjun yelling at the sasaengs calling her😳

i do not want to be on renjun's bad side 😳😳😳😳

so this happened in late 2019 when mila, renjun, jeno, and jaemin were all doing a vlive together.

it's very similar to what happened to jeno on the 200114 vlive with renjun, chenle and jeno.

mila was trying to read the comments on their vlive on her phone but she couldn't because sasaengs kept calling her.

she didn't even bat an eye as she repeatedly swiped the calls away, declining them and going back to what she was trying to do.

but IT WAS CONSTANT!!!

this was like 30 calls in 2 minutes like GALLLLLL

with each call, you could see mila growing more and more irritated with her side eyes to the camera :(

it got really bad when she tried to show something to the camera, and she got a call, so she swiped it away and showed the camera again. then she got another call, swiped it away and tried to show her screen again. when she got a third call, renjun stood up and took her phone from her hand, saying "give it to me"

he walked out of frame and began yelling at the sasaeng (as he should 💅🏻)

mila looked at him like 😳😏😊 and then started talking really loudly to cover up what renjun was saying.

it's hard to make out, but renjun can be heard yelling at the sasaengs saying things like "stop calling mila or else i will report your number and press charges"

basically scary renjun

he came and sat back down like 😒 and mila smiled at him and gave him a side hug to express her gratefulness <3333

"i hope you all enjoyed this video!! please keep supporting nct and their activities! stay tuned for my next video! bye!!!"

[allamericanb-tch]

marauders as eliza mclamb songs

** i limited myself to the ones she has on soundcloud because i did not want to go through her entire tiktok page to find links for all of her old songs sorry im a lazy queen.

pretend my explanations are not convoluted and poorly worded

the playlist of songs mentioned please go listen to it (with the marauders in mind !! ) i am obsessed with eliza mclamb currently. i tried to use every song on this playlist since i couldn’t use every song on her tiktok but i did skip some so. sorry? also the lyrics are just the ones i thought were the most them. i did not type out every single lyric to all these songs im not a MANIAC

james — look at me and lie / “daddy issues”

genuinely this song makes me tear up every time. it’s so jegulus from james pov coded which i think is absolutely devastating. in my mind this song is james thinking about regulus, knowing he has the mark, and regulus is wasting away knowing that he can’t be with james anymore, unknowing that james knows he has the mark. ugh it just breaks my heart every time.

i fucking hate when you look at me and lie // but i see it in your eyes you haven’t given up anything, except maybe the last three years of your life

—

jegulus 💔

i know i remind you of the life you couldn’t live, you make that pretty clear when you lose your shit weirdly i like that side of you better. // to see you angry is more fulfilling than the apathy

———

remus — wendy’s parking lot / autopilot / dial tone 

cigarettes i mean this is literally remus. but in all seriousness, this song is so remus feeling alone, very first and second year of him, before he really got on with the marauders.

smoke a single cigarette out the window // i want to go driving till i run out of gas, speed till i pass everybody in a baby blue subaru with their 401k’s // i don’t have anyone to cry to

—

remus trying to live his life after sirius leaves

doctor said i need routine // it’s time to drive around aimlessly and listen to music that used to make me cry, i wish it still did // i miss the feeling of feeling something

—

remus calling grant after sirius leaves

who can i call? // you don’t have to say anything at all // just stay on the line, to know somebody’s out there will do me fine

———

sirius — 2007 / haunted house

this song is sirius thinking about his time with regulus before hogwarts, and regulus idolizing his older brother and wanting to be just like him, and they grow up and grow apart, but really they’re scarily similar and sirius knows it and hates it because he hates himself.

you were still a baby, of course you’ll always be my little lady, but then you were freed // god, you’re turning into me // i want to hold your little face just look at you and say, ‘it’s not as good as it seems’ // it never gets better than being a kid with a dream

— 

this is sirius returning to his apartment he has with remus after he escapes azkaban

i swear this house is haunted, i can’t be here without wanting to go back ten years and do it all again. // i just can’t make myself fit back into place

———

peter — speak

this is peter being quiet and shy and following james around like a lost puppy dog because james has always been his only friend, and he couldn’t bear to lose him, so he goes along with everything james does.

i never could talk loud enough so i learned how to listen. // i find my place in other people’s shadows. // i wait for you to ask me, ‘how is it you forgot how to speak?’

———

mary — pornstar tits / anti-cinematic

this song is so mary being oversexualized by the fandom, and only used as a device to further the plot of wolfstar fics by being a rival love interest for sirius.

they trade that shit like pokémon cards, swapping my body with somebody else’s // it’s either jezebel or madonna and i’m not sure which one is worse

—

this i think is mary leaving the wizarding world, and losing all her friends (..because they died) and trying to go back to life as a muggle

what if my best years are behind me? // what if i just keep getting older and lonelier?

———

lily — elastic band / american wasteland

this song reminds me of lily reminiscing on her life before she found about wizards and magic and became involved in the war, and knowing she can’t go back to the life she once had.

so many memories i can’t recover existing in only a feeling // sometimes if i think real hard its like i’m there again // i’ll think i’ll stay in this moment for a while

—

american lily evans. there i said it. but this song actually feels more petunia to me. petunia after lily leaves, feeling out of place without her built in best friend.

two kids in a double wide // take the city bus home // get off at the next stop and walk the rest of the way home in the dark

———

marlene — twin flame

marlene and dorcas, dorcas and marlene.

i can read your mind like you can read mine // do i like you, or do i like that you’re fucked up like me?

———

regulus — hydroplaning

this is regulus being in love with james, and being so deep into his self-hatred that he can’t even fathom why someone like james would like someone like him.

something about you liking me just doesn’t sit right with me i think it probably means you have bad taste. // and then of course i’ll whine about how no one could ever love me.

———

evan — drunk in a fancy shower

evan at a party feeling out of place because party is drunk kissing other girls, and not drunk kissing him. poor evan :(

it’s so clear that i really don’t belong here // is it so cynical to think that no one would give a shit if i crawled out this window? // i need to get the fuck up, get back out there fill my cup up

———

barty — zoned out

this is so barty losing his mind slowly after evan’s death

i came back into my body to find somebody else in it // i hate that i can’t listen to you over the sound of my heartbeat // sometimes i just have to leave

———

pandora — witching hour / all alone

pandora is very much the kind of person who would find comfort in being alone in the middle of the night, and being awake while the world is asleep.

it must be the witching hour if i’m awake // it’s like the universe has picked me up, i’m a tiny baby in her cosmic cup. // i’m not scared of the unknown

—

pandora being self aware and knowing that people think she’s weird and creepy but knowing she is on the right path for her <3

all alone, in my little world. if it’s a one man universe i’m my favorite girl. // ‘you’re all alone, well aren’t you wasting time?’ no i’m just taking mine. 

———

dorcas — dreamgirl

dorcas being dorcas

i wanna be your dean girl // i like the version of me that lives in your mind // i’m still a mystery to you

———

[sparrowmoss]

aight back on it. the acolyte ep 7 live reaction. this is going to be so bad

ahhh here we go. the full story (i presume). wonder what theyre looking for

SEVEN WEEKS… i’d be throwing a fit too

oh this concept is cool as FUCK!!!! a vergence… yes… i love it. but i think they may be wrong. idk

sol having beef with indara and her saying well thats why i have a padawan and you do not HFHEHFJEHFKDF

need that speeder bike

bro mother koril just teleported

from what little he saw of that interaction i dont blame him for being concerned but maybe also realize u dont have the whole picture

why the fuck did mother aniseya do this to this kid what the hell. what the fuck is happening

i think. both sides are wrong honestly. only at 15 mins in but sol saying that his assumption that osha is not being cared for properly here does not mean that the jedi order or any singular member of it has any right to come in and take this child from her family by force without some sort of clear assessment of her actual treatment beyond a few glimpsed moments and without first consulting the child as to what she needs at all. to me this should have been handled by someone without a bias of wanting osha to come with them to be a jedi through claiming to feel a bond with her/that she is “meant to” join them

ummm this is getting alarming i would have assumed mae meant in the future but no indara knew she meant. like. Now. like Tomorrow. were they. were they all going to sacrifice themselves in mass suicide

NOOOOO I WAS RIGHT NOOOOO WHAT THE HELLLLL

sol why you so twitchy

bro what the hell is with the jedi order in this time period you all are fucked. council says no you cant take the kids also you cant come home/leave the planet where you have created hostility also you have interfered too much. theyre in danger. it doesnt matter. you formed an immediate emotional attachment. yelling that you arent emotional. can you all please get it together

oh shit they found out. ohhhh aniseya used the vergence to create them. WHAT

one consciousness into two bodies what the fuck

TORBIN ITS NOT FUCKING WORTH ITTTTT

i think aniseya was going to let osha go

ABIGAIL!!!!!!! im so glad she got a couple more lines because for real shes the main reason i got interested in this show in the first place KFJDJFJSF

please use the force to get up that damn wall ill cry if i have to see you climb it again

ohhhh this is all so fucked dude im so nervous for whatevers about to happen

oh no mae tried to put it out and couldnt nooooo NOOOOO

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO aniseya u dont know how right u are

um. instead of going to help mae. koril decided to fight the jedi?

HUH????

SOL WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK?

this is so fucked dude everything is SO bad

THATS how they died??????? being forced out of group mind controlling kelnacca????

fuck. fuck fuck fuck

indara beat the shit out of this guy please. “i had to make a choice” sol patrol it is so over

man i was prepared for pain with this episode but i was not prepared for how fucking angry i would feel oh my GODDDD im gnashing my teeth EVERYTHING went wrong my GOD. if these people on both sides could have not jumped to violence as a first resort. not both immediately assumed the worst of the other side. these two little girls never would have had to be put through any of that. it makes me so much angrier that the girls were the source of this fight that didnt need to happen and suffered so immensely from it and the jedi can go on with their lives despite that guilt but osha and mae lost everything. every choice was made for them every option was taken from them everyone they loved was killed and every dream they had was ripped away. im so fucking mad

[celestie0]

first of all, i knew that kai dude was bad news!!

but let's start form the top!! gojo kicking the ball in the FACE??? ahhhh lost it!!! i thought he maybe aimed at kai but boy was (accidentally) aiming at her, nooo!!!

ahaha but the way he cared for her then 😭😭 my heart, so weak for this trope. also we got a kiss so a win is a win!!

“Go ahead,” he says, using his knee to spread your legs apart, then finds a place to stand between your thighs to get closer to you. “I’ve got a lot of ways I could shut you up.”

excuse me man. do not say this in front of me or i'll get wet. thank you. moving on!

“You were born blessed with talent, and you’re popular, and people adore you, and you don’t have to worry about internships, or jumping from job to job just to make something of yourself."

ugh, that moment when she breaks down about her depts and car repair bills and all that? it was so raw and real. it makes her even more relatable. loved that!!

“You don’t want me hanging out with them?” you repeat after him, “I’m not listening to that. Because it’s possessive. And it’s wrong.”

yes, yes yes!! tell him girl!!! put him in his place!!! love pissed fmc!! <33

“Does that make you feel better?” he asks. / “Does thinking of me that way—…does it make you feel better about all of this? Between us?”

bruh, satoru is THE sweetest in this story, and I'm LIVING for his soft boy energy! he has such a innocent and soft love for her, i could cry and vanish into thin air 😭😭

also the way he is ALL about her dreams and supporting her in her carrer. WEAK.

but then everything happening after, god i was so ANGRY with Kai and all his douchebag people!!! i was ready to throw hands through the screen!!!

but can we also talk about how our girl was holding her own even when those jerks were putting her and her dreams down? she's got a fire in her, and i love that she wasn't backing down! satoru's lucky to have someone so fierce by his side.

thank goodness satoru and his squad showed up when things got serious and protected her!! also that protective move in front of her? I DIED. It's official, i'm WEAK. just one word. WEAK.

can't wait to read the next chapter, in which satoru will surely move heaven and earth to show his love to her and i'm here for it!!! please shower me with all the fluff and smut.

i need ALL the cozy, heart-melting moments! ♡♡

honestly, this AU is EVERYTHING. you're painting such a vivid picture, i feel like i'm right there on campus, surrounded by hotties and drama!! what could someone ask more of? ♡♡

also want to add that i think you have an incredible ear for how people talk, with all their quirks and little inflections. reads so natural and authentic!! have a great day or night, whenever you read this!

OMG LOSTFRACTURES M00TIE <333 THANK U SM FOR UR ASK I COULD CRY RN

aaa yes he actually isnt the one that kicked the ball haha 🤣 that was originally going to be the plan, but rather his teammate kicked the ball and he was too distracted by reader getting super close to kai to see it, and it flew past him n then hit her 😵‍💫

LMAO pls same part of me wanted to scream just to fuck around n find out ab all those ways of shutting us up haha

thank uuu im so glad you enjoyed her lash out 🥺💕 it was simultaneously very gratifying but also heartbreaking to write

aaa thank uu sm ur words ab softie satoru LOL i think his way of showing care can be unconventional sometimes but there’s no denying he really does want her to have the things he thinks she deserves :”) im just glad he finally thinks he’s someone she deserves haha

AND YES. SHE’s ALSO FIERCE AND A SOFTIE AT THE SAME TIME ✨✨ i wa sso excited by this chapter bc i think it takes gojo being “too good for her” bc he’s popular n whatnot but now reader is just THAT GIRL n a bad bitch and she’s almost too good for him now haha

ouu ty for the compliment on the dialogues n stuff 😭🤧 that’s so relieving to hear lol

AND YESS SO EXCITED FOR HIS LOVER BOY ERA ch10 is gonna be a lot of fun and sexy (still a tad bit angsty 👉🏼👈🏼) haha thank uu sm for looking forward to it 🥺💕 ur too kind pls

[limeade-l3sbian]

i can’t even escape male sexual depravity in media. obviously manga is known for oftentimes having highly sexualized aspects, especially in regards to the female characters, but rn i’m reading a regular action adventure fantasy manga and the main character has been raised by three people. two dudes and a woman. he’s referred to them as his family either two or three times already even tho they aren’t biologically related and that’s all fine and dandy. guess what we suddenly needed to know about our main character? he had a wet dream due to trying to peep on the woman he said he sees as his mom changing

im like… why? what did this add to the story? why build a family dynamic between them and even have him comment on it within his narration only to make the whole relationship feel dirty and sullied? i know she isn’t his actual bio mom but still.. she raised him from birth. she cared for him. she taught him to survive.

i know this is irrelevant to u but i’m just so angry how hard as time goes on it is for me to even slightly tolerate male main characters in stories, whether it’s manga or otherwise. bc they somehow always have to be written to be either proud perverts or secret perverts. and even if that’s how males are irl, usually the way it’s written in stories have no impact on the story other than “comedic” effect and it just makes me struggle with ever empathizing with them going forward bc they just become greasy dirtbags in my eyes. why make a fictional character for example trying to survive in a world of magic, with high stakes, suddenly have a side of perversion? what does that add to the plot? how is it funny that he peeps at women? what is the comedy?

It's the wish fulfillment for men who find that funny or relatable. To live in a world where their objectification of women and perversions are seen as quirky/comedic traits and women secretly love to be itemized.

It also aims to normalize it, which has been working, unfortunately. Especially in anime. All women are fair game, even the ones who are mother figures or your literal mother.

[bright-eyed]

.

So I was freaking out the other night because i had like an awkward 30 minute conversation at the bar with my favorite old professor. She told me that i was a good writer, and asked me why i wasn’t writing. I was just like “idk, i’m watching youtube.” (I didn’t exactly say it like that, but basically.) Then she was like “why are you doing that?” and i didn’t know why.

I felt so overcome with guilt/shame/regret. But also i felt like a piece of shit because idk how i will ever be able to make myself change or overcome this fear of failure/ego death and do better with my life. It’s stopped me from trying for so much of what i want since i was like a little kid—and the thought of not being able to stop myself from giving up before i even start makes me viscerally hate myself… I feel immature and weak for finding it so difficult to do anything more than what I’m already doing. And I hate where I am! And i know i could do other things and be much happier.

But I also know I should probably give myself grace because for years I was working my way out of deep depression, and i did it on my own, and that was its own accomplishment even if it might mean I’m a little behind on accomplishing like ambitions or dreams. I guess? For so long i just had to be focused on not dying or blowing up my own life that i couldn’t focus on that, and i guess i’m still in the mindset of assuming it’s impossible to do more than get through the day, or at least im not practiced in that.

But i’m so phenomenally frustrated with myself that it makes me feel sick and trapped in my own body. The entire world is weighing down on me—all of the things I feel like i need to do and be, all at once, all the time. It feels like I am utterly unequipped to have dreams, so instead of me fulfilling my dreams, they haunt me instead

I guess part of me also resents that i never had any real support. When i was talking about how i only ever really applied to one college, and only did that because it had an easy and cheap application process, Professor asked me why my parents never pushed me to apply for more—she seems to be under the very mistaken impression that i could have gotten into a lot of colleges—and i just told her they just didn’t really involve themselves in my life very much, especially when i was a teenager. Until I said that I’d never even realized that it might be weird for your parents to not push you to apply for colleges, or even really know anything about your life or school experience or ambitions or anything. I just got so angry

And that feels like such a big thing that i’ve had this huge blind spot for this whole time, like why didn’t (and don’t) my parents care ? Where would i be if they had (or did)? Would i feel more empowered and confident enough to try new things, or was i just born weaker than most people? Will i ever know?

What if im not inherently this way but i still can’t undo the damage years of failing and being failed has done to me? Does it even matter if i’m not doomed by nature if i never manage to escape it anyway?

I started writing this post the other night and then ended up talking to my best friend on the phone for two hours which helped. But I'm going to need to transform this frustration with myself into action sooner rather than later because I can't keep living like this and I know on some level it would be so easy to. You know how the time will pass anyways.

Thinking about how much time ive already lost and how much time i might or might not have left to lose makes me feel already halfway dead. I know this resembles a grave but isn’t, but i might stay here long enough to make it one. I keep misstepping back into it. I keep crawling back in and pulling the lid back over to block out the light because I can’t bear it I feel like this is turning too poetic but i can’t explain how i feel in anything but images i guess. I just wish I could be different without having to do the work to change because I don’t trust myself to change. I wish I could be perfect because it’s the only way I feel like I’ll be okay. It’s dumb but idk that’s how I feel

[i-sveikata]

Hello, I just wanted to write that I re-read the last chapter again (I can’t stop) Your fanfic is what kept my mental health going (it was a really hard year) over the past year and I’m grateful for that 🥰But I was so immersed in this story, on  at the moment this is the only ff that I read on this fandom, and it should already be so (for more than a year now, it’s incredible)😊I like that the characters are so alive, the feelings are so vivid, and they are so intertwined with depth and important themes and also  with sex (Vegas's pov still haunts me, I'm really looking forward to reading some kind of sexual experience from his point of view, because he's just so bad for it, AND VERY HOT), but we know that he hides his  real emotions 👀I’m looking forward to how events will develop further, you are so talented 💘It’s so incredible that you can write such a beautiful, emotional story for FREE that will find such a response in many, I’ve been here for a year now and I’ll wait as long as you want to  enjoy this work and read how these two live their happy twisted life (and this is just my wish...in my head it’s a canon that they killed Korn, ehhh dreams)😈At the end I want to wish you health and send hugs 🫂 And if possible,  can I have a little spoiler about “Vegas will do something stupid, and Pete will do something even worse” I’m so interested 😭😭😭 But if not, then I’m okay with it and ready to wait further 💜 P.S. I’m not a native English speaker, I hope everyone is here  It's clear

oh hello there!!! oh my gosh that honestly means so much to hear that and im so happy it could offer something meaningful during the past year though i do hope this year treats you better!!

ahhhhhhh thank you so much!!! im so glad you think i brought it to life that way!! oh wow yes his pov is very much diving under the surface of what Pete has been interpreting this entire time. wow yes and if there is a sex scene in his pov you can bet its going to be deeply obsessed and unsettling whilst we hear how he experiences that from his pov and how it all makes him feel. like dude high key wants to climb inside petes body and live there permanently there will be no normal internal thoughts whilst theyre having sex haha.

youre so right he does hide way too much!!! and were going to be seeing a lot of that the more we have his POV. ah thank you thank you!! its honestly been so amazing that its resonated with people this much and the experience has been so rewarding!! ah thank you youre too sweet!

omg yeah they should murder korn what an idea. thank you!!! sending you good health and hugs too!!!

oh sure!! well basically its going to revolve around pete finally deciding that he wants to bottom but when he tries to bring that up in his usual halting, beating around the bush kind of way vegas just ends up putting his mouth in it. but like in the most extreme, worst way possible. badly enough that pete makes his own petty, spiteful plan instead and decides to go elsewhere, knowing that it will set vegas off in the worst way but hes angry enough to try and rub that in vegas' face.

except- well it backfires and then the both of them are really into it and they both end up getting exactly what they wanted in the end anyway.

hope thats enough of a spoiler hint!

your english is great!!! and its very clear and easy to understand!! honestly so impressed with people who know more than one language and who talk to people in that other language!! like ur brain???? its so powerful!!!

hope you have a nice night!!

[aipurjopa]

idk if you have lore for RunAway but if you dont may i suggest... saki tries to make leo/need a thing but it doesn't work and she transfers to kamiyama?

shove her ass in class 1-C/2-B

(im being insane about this im sorry ;-;)

plus a lil thing i made in the profile editor

I do have lore for it!! But feel free to also write whatever you want with it!! Also don't apologize I'm glad you like the au!!

Saki ended up going to Kamikou because her family thought it'd be better if she went to school with Tsukasa to help her adjust.

Saki's in the same class as An and Mizuki!

Also cute custom profile!!!!

So my summary of main story ended up being really long so I'll pop it below a read more!

Tldr: Akito meets Mizuki, Saki, Nene. They form a band and then bomb their first performance, causing them to temporarily break up. Akito contemplates quitting while Mizuki, Saki, and Nene resolve to keep singing. The trio practice and then have a performance at Weekend Garage. An drags in Akito go listen, Akito is proud and then says he'll be their fan. The trio insist he rejoins and he does.

The gist of their main story is: Akito and Mizuki meet at school and Mizuki mentions they play drums and they start talking about music. The two team up (mainly Mizuki drags Akito into it) and then they're throw into their sekai!! Meeting Mizuki for our loner Akito means that 1) he has a friend now and 2) Mizuki actually knows other people and their band forms faster than expected. Saki and Nene join this way. Akito has his doubts about everyone's resolve but he also knows he can't surpass RW by himself.

After a bit of practice and meeting Ken and An, they do their first performance and it's a hot mess!! Akito and Mizuki argue before hand and Akito's pissed about how laid back Saki appears to be. Nene freezes up on stage which throws off Mizuki who in turn loses the beat and then throws off everyone else. Akito yells at Mizuki (ahaha vbs main story....) and then their group splits.

Saki and Mizuki meet Ken and An who talk a little about Akito's past while Nene goes to the Sekai to talk to the VS. Nene realizes that Akito was as scared about the live as she was and then decides to maybe talk to him later.

Akito at school goes and apologizes to Mizuki and tells them to "forget about this," but Mizuki is far too interested in Akito to just let him leave.

Saki, Nene, Mizuki all meet up to chat and Saki says that her reason for joining the band was because it'd always been a dream of hers. She'd lost a lot of time because of her illness and she doesn't want to lose the four of them this time either. Nene says that she only took up bass because a friend recommended it. Yet, she's too afraid to even look up at the audience, much less perform and she apologizes for the live.

Mizuki, Nene, and Saki chat and they decide to show Akito their resolve with a live. An lends them the Weekend Garage stage. The trio practice in the Sekai while Akito contemplates quitting music.

On the day of the trio's performance, Akito finds himself in the Sekai talking to Len.

Len asks why Akito got angry and then theorized how Akito was just scared to be alone again and scared to be the reason why ppl he considered his friends got hurt. Len then pushes Akito to go to Weekend Garage.

After being dragged in by An, Akito watches the trio's performance. They've improved a lot and Akito finds himself feeling sort of proud of them. He decides that he's going to be their fan and watch their journey.

However, after expressing this to the trio, Saki basically gaslights him into joining back. So, he does and then they properly name their band as "RunAway."

Uhhh cue untitled turning into their image song and stuff.

[talkfastromance4]

OKAY HEAR ME OUT

Im still in my feels so I kinda need a bit of angst so first I wanna ask an Ashton one with gift giving BUT they have a fall out before Christmas so the reader leaves Ashton’s gift at his doorstep and leaves without saying anything. I’ll leave the rest up to you ❤️

Also I’m so happy you’re making this, I’m so excited to read everything you write ❤️❤️

I changed this up just a TAD but I hope you like it Sunny!🥰

You didn’t feel like a priority with Ashton anymore. You aren’t sure when it really started but one day things changed and you’ve noticed each one. He was spending more time with his friends, he didn’t text you ‘good morning’ or ‘goodnight’ anymore. You pinpoint each change, his looks not lingering on you anymore.

You were going crazy.

You questioned every little thing you’ve done wondering if you did something wrong, said something that turned him away. You’ve been together for almost a year and it all seemed to be going well.

Was there someone else?

His mother keeps texting you asking if you’re coming to Australia for Christmas. Lauren and Harry reach out too but you don’t know how to respond. Ashton hasn’t asked you or discussed the holidays with you at all.

Does he just assume you’re going?

When you’re together you try to talk to him but he doesn’t seem as engaged as before. His kisses are less frequent.

It’s a few days before Christmas and there’s still no clarification from Ashton on plans so you decide to go home for the holidays. You’re drinking hot cocoa with your fuzzy boots on and the small pile of presents you bought for him are mocking you from under your tree.

Somehow, you find the courage to gather the presents and drive over to his place. You knock on the door politely. You ring the doorbell. No answer.

You fish out the spare key he gave you from the very bottom of your purse and let yourself in. His house is silent and dark except for his small tree on the coffee table. Did he leave for Australia already?

“Thanks for the goodbye,” you mutter setting his presents by his little tree and rush out of there.

Your chest is shaking from anger and sadness and some other emotion you can’t quite place. You try to hold onto the anger so your sad tears don’t spill over because this is how he ended things. Ghosting you and abandoning you and making you feel crazy.

You try calling him but if he’s already on a plane his phone is probably off so you leave a message just as you pull up to your home.

“Ashton Fletcher Irwin, how dare you?” you seethe and climb out of your car. “How dare you end things between us like this? You don’t have enough respect for me to break up with me in person so you just fly off to the other side of the world? And before Christmas? I’m so angry and mad…”

You grumble and curse all the way to your door. You’re still shaking from anger and sadness as you struggle to open your door. Your fingers are shaking as well.

“You’re going to regret this, I can’t believe you. I have half a mind to fly to Australia and–”

You stop dead in your tracks because your whole apartment is filled with your favorite flowers and twinkly lights are strung everywhere. They’re across the ceiling, hanging down your walls and Ashton is standing there with a bashful grin.

“Hi angel.”

“What–”

“I know I’ve been distant lately but I’ve been scrambling on how to do this perfectly but everywhere I tried is booked up or it didn’t feel right. I’ve been nervous as hell because I want this to be special, because you’re special. You’re so amazing–” he pulls you into the living room and you drop your phone onto the floor staring at him in shock.

This can’t be happening, can it? Are you dreaming? Is this real?

“And I was nervous while I waited for you but now you’re here and I can…I can breathe,” he gets down on one knee the same time he exhales.

“Oh my God,” you gasp.

“You’ve made my life brighter and I wanted to show you how much with these lights but it doesn’t compare to the way your eyes shine or how bright your smile is. y/n,” he pulls out a round wooden box from his pocket and pops it open. “Will you marry me?”

You exhale the breath you’d been holding, tears finally rolling from your eyes.

“Yes, yes I will,” you drop to your knees to give him a kiss.

Through giggles, tears, and fumbling fingers, he slips the diamond on the proper finger. You twiddle it in the lights and it shimmers like a twinkling star.

“It’s beautiful, Ash.”

“I designed it myself.”

“This is why you were acting so strange?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t figure out how to do it properly.”

“I thought you were breaking up with me.”

“What? Oh–no, I’m sorry angel. You’re stuck with me forever now,” he smiles then kisses you sweetly.

“Can you do me a favor?” you ask a few moments later as you lay on top of him on your floor.

“What’s that?” he slips his hand under your shirt.

“Can you delete the voicemail I just left and don’t listen to it?”

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