#im sooo mentally exhausted

[quiveringdeer]

when you've been around ppl all day but need to grab something from the store so you sit in your car in the store parking lot trying to mentally gear yourself up to brave even more humans 😔

[swagyna]

girl i am not in a place to date idk why i think i could

[thedarknessthatloveindespite]

today was such a good morning u know. i had slept. GOOD NIGHT SLEEP N ALL. i even got up and got breakfast for me n my mom. I ATE. I CLEANED THE DISHES I USED. i even changed out of the shirt i was wearing for over a week! very productive. wait omg i forgot to mention. I ACTUALLY REALLY HAD PUT MOMS CLOTHS THAT WERE DONE IN THE WASHING MACHINE IN THE DRYER. I have to say. forgetting everything else, this is such a phenomenal act for me. it’s like fcking idk a meodorite fallen down. ITS A REALLY BIG THING. doing that is soooo hard for me. and i always have an immediate ‘no’ body reaction to the whole act but i didnt just fall into it. i like. toook a moment, you know and actually accessed it. and ! literally tho if mom told me i had to put some clothes in the dryer that would have been too much for me

BUT

anyways. i literally fcking did it. fcking hells

ANYWAYS it really was such a good morning day you know. baby steps!!!! and yeah u know i really do know that i dont do enough as i should etc. i really do know. its just really frustating how my mom doesnt see anything of this tho. yeah she needed someone to go n get the glasses and im really sorry for her but going outside was literally too much of a hurdle for me to just do. especially on short notice. like. really. my mind cant even think of trying it. visualling it

[swampdrive]

Is there a better mental health boost than buying a new leather jacket? I dont think so

[munsonsreputation]

ok, ok, envision it, #4 taylor prompt:

steve harrington; i wish you would

congrats on reaching that milestone love! 🫶🏻💖

elizabeth!!!!

my apologies that it took me so long to get to your request 😭😭 i hope i was still able to do it justice and i hope you love it!!

"i wish you would" is one of my fave tracks off 1989 and im so ready for the rerecord of it!! it's also sooo steve harrington encoded -- i hope you like my twist of angsty fluffiness!!!

It was 2AM — too late of a time for either of you to be awake right now.

But Steve was on the other side of the door.

And you were also on the other side of the door.

Just an old wooden door separating the two of you but no one daring to make the first move and open it all because it came down to one thing—pride.

You and Steve had a hell of a lot of pride, which often led to stupid arguments over the dumbest things. Usually, the fight would resolve in a matter of minutes, if not maybe hours. Arguments never exceeded days or weeks—that was until now.

It was safe to say that outside your relationship, you each had lives consisting of managing a VHS store and yours filled with busy days at college completing a very stressful internship. The only time the two of you would get to kick back and relax is when you came home to each other. Spending the winding days in bed or lazily making dinner before falling asleep in each other arms on the couch.

Either way, it was both your and Steve’s preferred way of living.

That is until life got a bit too real and hectic, leading the two of you to spend less time together and more time on different schedules.

Family Video had incorporated a new tracking system which caused Steve to need to stay back later, trying to work through the stupid software so that the opening shift didn’t call him the next morning complaining about it not working.

Your internship was taking a toll on you mentally, requiring you to get up earlier than usual and head to campus in order to get work done before the day ended. Your colleague in the program had totally ghosted you, leaving you to pick up the slack when you weren’t quite sure how much of it you could carry alone.

By the time Steve got home, you were already asleep.

And by the time he woke up you were already gone.

The place you two shared didn’t even feel like a home anymore. Just simply a place where you two were in passing of each other before going off to live completely closed off lives. Suddenly, the energy just shifted, as if the two of you were now a crooked love with no idea where this was headed.

It was brutal for both of you, but of course it was always easier to blame each other instead of figuring out how to work past it. It didn’t help that the both of you were quick with your words, always biting back at one another with insults that neither of you really meant, just being used in the moment to deflect.

It blew up last week when you and Steve had both woken up late. The home phone blaring with calls from Family Video and Robin paging Steve every second. The alarm clock in your bedroom ringing sharply jolting the two of you awake.

Maybe it was the morning grumpiness combined with the exhaustion you two were facing, but either way it resulted in an early morning argument that was like a train running off the tracks.

“When’s the last time we even had dinner together?” You asked sharply as you combed your hair in the bathroom mirror.

Steve lifted his head after he spat out the toothpaste, glaring at you in the reflection. “It’s not my fault that by the time I get home you’re already passed out on the couch. What do you want me to do? Haul your half asleep body into the kitchen and force you to make spaghetti with me?”

You rolled your eyes, throwing your comb back into the drawers, slamming it shut as you walked away from him, though he was hot on your heels, still going on.

“Or wait do you want me to take you to Enzo’s so you can sleep in a booth while I eat never ending breadsticks?”

He watched you fling open the closet doors, grabbing a jacket and throwing it over your outfit, before you stared pointedly at him, “You’re such a fucking dick, Steven!”

“Oh, so I’m the dick now? How about the last time we had an actual conversation with each other that wasn’t just hi, hello, and bye?”

You brushed past him, bending to pick up your backpack and sling it over your shoulder. He reached into the closet, grabbing his vest and throwing it on before following you down the hallway and into the living room.

“Seems like we’re having one right now.” You muttered, grabbing your keys on the coffee table.

“Sure does,” He sighed, reaching for his own car keys.

That morning the two of you went your separate ways, starting off the day on a bad foot with nothing but hatred. But the two of you could never ever hate each other.

That wasn’t what your love was.

It was never formed from hate or thrived off of it.

It was supposed to be the kind that was always understanding and working together, but that was a standard that you knew you and Steve just weren’t capable of all the time.

The two of you were bringing less than a hundred percent to the table combined. There had to be some kind of compromise, a way for it to be settled, but of course, this was just something that was going to get dragged on until you both felt like putting your pride aside and taking the first step.

That fight was the catalyst that led the two of you here. Still standing on the other side of the door—your shared bedroom door that is.

For the past week, Steve was out on the couch while you occupied the bedroom. Not that you kicked him out or banned him from sleeping in bed with you, but you had gotten home the night after the fight and he was already home, knocked out asleep on the couch.

So you left him there, and since then that’s where he slept.

You couldn’t say you felt good about it because you didn’t. His back was probably all sorts of fucked up from cramming himself to sleep somewhat comfortably on that couch. And you had certainly missed his presence beside you in the middle of the night.

Steve didn’t know why he kicked himself out, probably just so you could both get some space and cool off, but he hadn’t meant for it to go on for this long. He missed kissing your forehead goodnight when he finally got home, and he certainly missed the way you’d do the same when you had to leave in the morning.

Right now, it just felt like a lot of yearning for one another because neither of you could remember what you were fighting for in the first place.

For pride?

For ego?

For what?

All you both wanted to do was just give each other the tightest hug and longest kiss because you missed each other that much.

You wanted to cry to him, to tell him that your stupid internship was driving you insane and all you really wanted was for him to hold you and tell you everything was going to be ok.

Steve wanted to vent to you over how stupid that damn tracking system was and how it was driving him up the walls and all he really needed right now was your encouragement to keep going.

He was probably asleep.

You were probably asleep.

Maybe it could wait until morning?

If either of you opened the door to see the other sleeping, it would just make you both want to turn back around and run from actually waking the other to apologize. It was best to just run back under the blankets and wait until you were both awake.

But honestly, the both of were just too exhausted and missing each other to even be mad anymore.

Fuck it…this couldn’t wait and neither of you was going to let it drag on.

“Baby,”

“Babe,”

The two of you stared at each other dumbfounded as if you were ghosts, but it didn’t last long as Steve quickly wrapped his arms around your back, pulling your body into his as you draped your arms around his neck, gluing yourself to him.

“I missed you.” You murmured into the juncture of his jaw and neck.

He could feel the heat of your breath fanning against his skin, a trickle of tears following suit only making him hold you tighter.

“I missed you more…and I’m sorry for being a dick.” He said, breathing in the smell of your hair and he whispered into it.

You sniffled, shaking your head the best you could in his hold, before he loosened, allowing you to look up at him through your watery eyes.

“I’m sorry too…I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I was just so stressed and I missed you too much to tell you how I was really feeling and I—”

He smiled softly at you, letting his thumb brush your tears away as he shook his head, “I did the same, baby. I just wished we didn’t solve it that morning…it would’ve prevented whatever the fuck happened last week.”

You laughed quietly, nodding your head in agreement. “I know. I wished we would have.”

“We can now.” Steve suggested, holding your face in your hands.

You smiled, sniffling once more before letting one of your hands rest on his cheek, “Yeah we can.”

Your lips finally connected after what seemed like a lifetime away. A reminder that while the love you and Steve shared wasn’t always picture perfect, it was certainly something that you both were always going to come back to.

You were each other’s person.

The other half you wanted to go to with all of life’s joys and upsets.

Together.

Sure, maybe you both pushed each other’s buttons way too easily, but it was the love that made the two of you come rushing back to each other.

Because when it mattered and came down to it, you and Steve could never live without each other — no matter the distance or even the stupid internship or job you each had.

Right here and right now, it was all good.

let me know what you think: reblogs, tags, comments, and likes are greatly appreciated!!!

leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!!

taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @astolenkiss @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot

[bucketfullofstrawberries]

MY BRAINS BEEN SOOO EMOTIONALLY & MENTALLY DRAINED AND EXHAUSTED IM SOSOSOSOSO SORRY A SMALL COMIC LIKE THIS IS TAKING SO LONG TO GET OUT I'M TRYING MY BEST I PROMISE ITS JUST BEEN A BIT DIFFICULT

[readychilledwine]

Hi girl!! I don't know how to say this, but I love your writing and your sooo creative. I just wanted to say, im giving birth in a couple of weeks and it just hit me that I'm going to have a KID, LIKE WTH??? I did my research so there's nothing to worry about and I'm financially stable, its just, WEIRD??? I'm going to pop a baby out??please give some advice bc my hubby seems really cool about it and I'm just WHAT??😭

Trigger warnings- baby, mom life, and labor talk. Super long post 💕

✨️Congratulations to both of you and welcome to the hot moms club✨️

I went through an induction that turned into an emergency c section, so keep that in mind when reading my advice since I am not sure what form of labor you are opting for.

During Labor/Your hospital stay:

Bring a comfort idea to the hospital for before "active" labor and after. I brought my own pillow, and that made a world of difference. It was nice having something so familiar afterwards.

Don't eat anything you don't want to risk coming back up. Some hospitals will allow you to eat. Try to stick to the ice, juice, jello, or pudding. Italian shaved ice was also an option for me. And do bring snackies for after. You deserve it.

Don't panic if your birth plan does not turn out to be how birthing goes. I had planned on natural labor, no pain medication. I went in to be induced at 9pm December 13, by 2am I was in a lot of pain, by 7am I had an epidural.

Not to scare you, but the epidural can cause a few different reactions. Don't let that stop you from getting it. You HAVE to allow yourself to be as comfortable as possible, and your birth team will handle whatever curves are thrown their way.

If you are physically able to, do golden hour. In case it is called something different for you, golden hour is a full hour where the nursing staff leaves you and baby alone for skin to skin and nursing time. Tell your man I'm sorry, but he can wait. That hour is essential for building breastmilk supply if you're going to be EBF or EP. He can have baby after.

And let him have baby after. Daddy needs his own hour where baby is getting skin to skin with him.

It's going to be hard, but try not be mad if baby daddy sleeps after labor. He's going to have spent the last how ever long you were in labor in a heightened state of fight or flight because the woman he loves is in pain and there is nothing he can do for you. It's painful and all the exhausting for us. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting for them.

Do not (under any circumstances) let them force you into handling feedings one way or the other. Fed is best. Period.

Do not allow them to force you to have a nurse who makes you uncomfortable in any way. I know it's hard, but if a nurse is making you feel like you aren't doing enough, aren't listening to them, are making a wrong choice, ASK FOR A NEW NURSE. They should be supporting you.

If you're at a hospital where mom and baby sleep in one room, don't hesitate to say yes if a nurse asks if you want baby to go to nursery for a little bit. You both will need sleep. You deserve sleep. That nap will be precious. Trust me.

For home:

During bathing, try a swaddle method. It uses two towels, but it helps baby feel safe and secure. Here's a little link to an article about them

Take. Time. With. No. Visitors. You and baby daddy deserve time to adapt to your LO. It's a totally different ball game. We had 2 weeks alone. 2 weeks with just our parents. 2 weeks with our siblings. Then we opened the house to visitors who messaged us first.

Establish boundaries from jump. I made a post about on SM with a picture of our boundaries. Baby daddy enforced it.

Enjoy those 2am cuddles. They go away so fast 🥺

If you do not mentally feel okay, tell people you trust. Immediately. PPD/PPA can quickly become postpartum psychosis when left untreated.

Remember you're gorgeous. Even if you don't feel that way. You literally grew a human. It is the most selfless thing you could do for your family, and in my opinion, the closest thing to magic.

Remember to be kind to yourself and baby daddy. You're both learning. It's hard. So hard.

Never feel guilty for a few minutes of screen time. Sophia gets about 30 minutes a week spread out throughout the week. Ms. Rachel is a great help.

From my baby daddy to yours

Get her the food she's been craving that she "can't have" which also meant you couldn't have it for her first post labor meal. Lizzy wanted sushi. Baby momma got her sushi.

Take pictures of her with your kid. Constantly without her knowing. Those pictures will get you through the work day.

Get up with her at night. We helped make the baby. We help with the baby.

No yelling. No fighting. I said one thing to Lizzy I regret deeply, and I don't know if she's genuinely forgiven me for it. This is hard on your baby momma. If she needs to vent. Let her. Don't fight her. Just get her down for a nap, man. That's all you can do sometimes.

Never tell her to sleep when the munchkin sleeps. That statement is the most unhelpful thing anyone said to Lizzy. Tell her instead to lay down and try to get some sleep, and you will listen for crying. She needs the comfort of knowing someone else is there.

Don't allow anyone to shame her for anything. I learned I will throw hands over someone shaming Lizzy. Luckily, it was with my brother. We're good now.

Make sure she gets to shower every day.

Love her. Love her and look out for any signs of her not being okay. Lizzy's was staring off into nothing and crying way too much.

Make sure you schedule time for both of you to get away and let her enjoy said time.

Skin to skin. Daily.

Lastly, get her a pump if she's breastfeeding. Trust me. It will help build supply, and it allows you to feed the little one.

If you two need ANYTHING, message me. I don't have all the answers, but I might have advice. 💕

Here's a few products we love for Sophia, too. Some of them are pricy. We apologize.

Dreamland weighted Swaddle

Diaper cream spatula

Calmoseptine Ointment

Bums and Roses - softest pj's ever and you can get matching ones.

Momcozy nail file

Lizzy's favorite stationary pump*

Lizzys favorite on the go/work pump*

The bottles baby daddy uses to feed Sophia sometimes

*check to see if insurance will help*

Overall, just enjoy your time together and your sweet little baby.💕💕

Ps- thank you for the compliments! I was so excited to give advice I almost brushed over them 🥺

[tetanusvaccineofficial]

CW vent! (but im trying to keep positive i promise lol)

i want to make cool art and get out of my comfort zone and learn sooo bad but i'm so mentally exhausted lately, i just don't really have it in me to do anything besides portraits. and that's how it is a lot of the time, to be honest, but it feels a lot worse/is bothering me more the past, idk, week or more? two weeks? and i'm not sure why

possibly the rain. it is raining a fuckton here lol, which isn't great for fibromyalgia

wait no actually yeah??? that's probably it. not me being like "oghh i'm so tired and in pain and my moods are weird god is it because i just SUCK?" bro it's the WEATHER!!

anyway uh. yeah. mental exhaustion sucks. limb pain sucks. i'm sad about my art. i'm emo or something idk lol. going to a concert tomorrow and praying my body will cooperate with me enough to have a good evening! i'm going with a very kind and supportive friend so I think I'll be okay :)

my mental health is just kinda bad lately so bear with me! it's not like. alarmingly bad or anything, I'm managing, just grumpy and nervous about it and how it's impacting my creativity and the way I socialize.

if ur a mutual/friend and feel like i've seemed a little off, please know I'm trying my best and it's nothing to do with anyone else! <3 I'll likely be much better when the weather clears up, that genuinely has a really, really big impact on me and I'm sure if you have similar conditions you can relate!

[itsravenbitch]

AHHHH I MANIFESTED MY DREAM GF WE LITERALLY GOT TOGETHER LIKE 5 MINS AGO IM STILL PROCESSING IT BUT I HAD TO TELL U CUZ UR POSTS HELPED ME SM.

i have been trying 2 manifest this mf being with me for like 2 weeks now but i was getting real exhausted and frustrated because i wasn’t seeing results in the 3d. i was legit one straw away from saying fuck you to manifestation and giving up forever ☠️ BUT my gut told me to try it one more time. and the funny thing is i didnt even have to do much!

before i was non stop on loa tumblr, listening to subliminals 24/7, tiring myself tf out. so what i did is i took a mental break for like 2 days and then after, all i did was live in the end. i’d just act like i’m already dating her. like whenever i bought a new outfit i’d be like “damn i can’t wait to show her this” or whenever my friends would tease me abt being single i’d just be like nope im not im dating her. then i started seeing results IMMEDIATELYYYY she started flirting with me out of NOWHERE, she started sending me couple tiktoks, BASICALLY BEING HELLA OBVIOUS THAT SHE WANTS ME. then rn she just confessed and asked me out i cant believe it i am SOOO happy. even my friends r shocked by how quick it happened.

to anyone struggling and feeling tired and on the edge of giving up, plz do what i did. take a deep breath, do some self care, take a break! u do not have to exhaust urself 24/7 obsessing over it. RELAX. also make manifestation fun for u. u will not see any results if u just feel depressed while manifesting like i did. for example in my case i rly enjoy art so i drew me and her as a couple to help me visualise. its way easier than u think guys. and tysm rae for waking me up ur advice helped me a ton. <3

congratulations bby!!!

[hanbxnn]

Omg first request so i’m kinda nervous :> Could you write something about mammon and readers first date?

best worst date

paring: mammon x gn!reader tags: fluff, established relationship, first dates, kisses <3, i fucking love this man notes: IM SOOO SORRY FOR THE LATE POSTTT esp since it's your first req :cc i really enjoyed this so i hope you enjoyed it too anon– my inbox is always open for you

mammon had every single part of the day planned to the absolute second but obviously, everything that can go wrong, does go wrong.

his alarm never rang.

his bed hair wouldn't settle.

he couldn't remember the last place where he placed his rings.

then when he finally managed to leave the house with you, his hands wouldn't stop sweating so he was constantly wiping them against his pants.

seeing you all dressed up next to him with such an adorable anticipating gaze, made mammon's heart thump against his chest.

he had every intention of making this the best day you've ever experienced in your life but he was sure he was going to need to stop by the clothing store if he sweated anymore through his shirt.

sensing his nervousness, you chuckled endearingly, taking a hold of his hand before he could retaliate, pulling him along with the excuse that he was going to make you guys late to the movies.

"i swear i- i had it when i left the house-"

mammon patted every pocket he had on his body, feeling for his wallet that he was certain he shoved somewhere.

"j- just one moment, it's here! i swea–"

his words were cut off when your lips touches his cheek in a quick kiss, taking advantage of his shocked state, you quickly pulled out your credit card for the cashier. taking the drinks and passing them to mammon so you could hold onto to the popcorn and tickets.

"come on, babe! we're in screen four, we should be in time for the trailers." you flashed him a smile as you nudged him towards the general direction.

mammon found himself speechless as he was pushed toward the ticket master, all the way up until the two of you sat down in your allotted seats.

mammon had researched all the hottest movies that were playing in the cinemas in advance, picking a general romcom that received the highest praises from critics.

what he didn't account for was how easily susceptible he was to tearjerkers.

by the end of the movie, he was a sobbing mess. eyes red and puffy with his nose raw from how much he was rubbing them.

you were gentle as you wiped away his tears, letting him bury his head into the crook of your neck as he cried out the last of his emotions, soothed by your soft coos and occasional kisses you left to the side of his face.

just as he had finished calming down, blushing in embarrassment as he tries to wipe away the wetness of his tears that stained your neck. though you didn't seem to be bothered by it at all, instead you pulled out a tissue and began to dab away at his snotty nose with a warm smile.

"hungry?"

and like clockwork, mammon stomach growled as a response to your question. his face heated, tipping down to hide his expression as he quickly pulled you along, headed to one of your favorite restaurants.

you chuckled as you trailed behind him, giving his hand a soft squeeze while you rubbed your thumb comfortingly over his knuckles.

dinner doesn't go exactly as planned either.

the supposedly romantic candlelight dinner was just so conveniently happened to be on the same day as a large family gathering a couple tables down, filling the normally quiet restaurant with loud cheers and an endless continuation of the birthday song.

by the end of the night, mammon was exhausted mentally and physically.

his pout was prominent as he walks you just outside of your bedroom.

"i'm sorry for the horrible date, yer must hate me and never wanna go out with me ever again." he mumbles as he reluctantly lets go of your hand.

his eyes widen when you snatch it back up just as quickly, mammon was taken aback by how your expression showed as if you had just heard the most offensive thing in the world.

"mammon, stop being so silly. i had so much fun today! i'm so happy you took me out on a date today, i'm really grateful for everything you did, thank you."

your hands were gentle as you reached up to cup his cheeks, flashing him a bright smile before inching up to leave a chaste kiss against his lips.

mammon gaped at you from how you seemed to be so content and full of sincerity.

"i don't really want this day to end, do you wanna sleep over tonight?" you glanced up shyly to gauge his response. the mammon that seemed so down not a moment ago felt like his spirit completely revived in an instant.

his eyes sparkled as he nodded his head frantically, there was no need for him to even go back to his room to prepare because the majority of his belongings were already scattered around your room.

mammon mood brightens up the more he hears his favorite sound of your laughter.

as the both of you settled down, with you all snuggled up in his arm, his heart blooms with every word of your retelling of every moment that had enjoyed while you were with him.

as he listens intently to the way your voice lightly trails off, your soft breaths filling up the silence of the room. mammon smiles lovingly as he adjusts the blanket around your shoulders before dropping a long kiss to the crown of your head.

"thank you for giving me the best day ever, i love so you."

no matter how bad everything seemed to go against him, mammon felt like he could overcome anything with you by his side.

[landslided]

do you have any fic recs / favorite fics you’re willing to share with the class 🫶🏻

hi anon!! yes, of course!! i have a ton of fics i adore that i would love to share with you! actually, im a serial bookmarker on ao3 so if you want to check those out, definitely go take a look over there but for the sake of this ask and because i want to shout out works that i adore, here is a non-exhaustive list of gen and lawrusso fanfics i live for!

The Recidivists by @vimesbootstheory is a lawrusso fanfic set a few years before the show’s actual timeline and following daniel’s journey as he goes to prison for a twenty-month sentence. his cellmate happens to be a certain johnny lawrence. it is my absolute FAVORITE fic right now, i am so happy every time i get an update. the writing is phenomenal and daniel is sooo realistic in this, i love him so so much.

Fight Like a Man by @miyagi-hokarate is a gen fic exploring dutch’s character and the reading of him as a trans man. it’s beautifully written, it’s a really interesting take on the character and it’s a must read for me.

A Means, A Way, A Plan by an_sceal is a gen fic exploring johnny’s mental health after season three and before that, during his childhood, his teenage years and young adulthood. it’s absolutely heartbreaking and it made me cry three times reading it. you should however READ THE TAGS!! i like fics that sometimes talk about difficult or dark themes and i don’t want anyone to end up reading something that upsets them so read the tags before you read any of the fics i recommend!

ordinary things by @toothpuulp is a lawrusso fanfic that is a the piano teacher AU. yes, the piano teacher by michael haneke. if you’ve seen the piano teacher or if you’re familiar with haneke’s work you probably know what this fic is but if you aren’t i will just say that it’s a fic that explores daniel’s desires, his repression and his trauma. it’s a fic that i’ve become totally obsessed with in the past month and that i’ve reread five times. it’s violent and sensual and just so brilliant i cannot even express how insanely good it is. once again do definitely read the tags and also read the author’s note but goood, i love this fic. it will also make you feel things for daniel larusso that i can only compare to like, shrimp colors.

lost my head in san francisco by GoldStarGirl is a lawrusso fanfic where johnny and daniel both bring their students (aisha and miguel vs robby and sam) to a competition in san francisco but their plans end up getting a little messed up by an earthquake and daniel and johnny have to team up and actually act like adults. it’s funny, it’s sweet, the kids are great in this. just mwaaah.

Race to the Bottom by kbaxter is a lawrusso story about infidelity, babyyyyy!! these men are NOT working through their issues and they are making it everybody’s problem!! they’re emotionally STUNTED and they have to fuck it out! a great fic by a great author whose other fics i also adore!

last night i had a dream by shortcrust is a lawrusso slice of life fanfic that i love dearly. it’s super sweet, super funny and it makes my heart do funny things every time i read it.

gravestone flowers by menocchio is a lawrusso fanfic that is actually the sequel to another GREAT fanfic called bootstrapping. gravestone flowers is my favorite of menocchio’s objectively amazing lawrusso fanfics because they are DIVORCED AS FUCK!!! it’s basically a retelling of season one if johnny and daniel had dated for a long time before and then had the world’s messiest break up. i love this fic to death. you can read it as a standalone but i definitely recommend bootstrapping as well.

Boxed series by ezlebe is a lawrusso fanfic where johnny used to do porn modelling when he was young and the kids find out… through daniel’s hidden stash of magazines. it’s funny! it’s hot! johnny is a wet dream! daniel has conflicting feelings! wonderful fic!

if anyone wants to recommend me their favorite fics, you’re definitely welcome to and don’t think that im not open to other things than lawrusso just because i have a one track mind, feel free to send me all of your recs! also!! if you’re a fanfic writer come recommend me your stuff!!!!

thank you for this ask and happy reading!

[youremyheaven]

Also! Lunar natives and “alternative” medicine is an interesting pattern because my shravana mom is into alternative and traditional medicine as well! She is still wary of the medicine I take for adhd but luckily I don’t give a shit because I like not having my life in shambles. My ketu in hasta father had much more nonsense to spout about me getting medicine to help with my mental health but also a Saturnian. He really believes sugar and not drinking enough water and meditation and other deranged pseudocures (for mental health issues HE CAUSED) are better than evil, addictive, control pills, also known as basic medical treatment for mental health issues. It’s so bizarre because both of them are very smart so like 😭I wonder what that’s about. Like you’re worried about the psychiatric medication that has helped me not want to kill myself because…what exactly 🗿. Is the water turning the frogs gay too???

It’s funny because Claire Nakti’s video talked about Lunar natives being so logical and empirical when they’re actually extremely illogical if it hurts their feeewings or whatever, honestly it’s so annoying because they will also condescend like they’re just wiser than you. It honestly makes me mad still because your delusional bias does not make someone doing correct procedures bad? Like…not everything has to fit your elaborate narrative of “logic and sense” for it to be correct and two things can be true at once.

Lunar natives are extremely emotionally biased in their logic, as all are humans, but they are sooo deep in it and are self aware to the extent that they will get defensive if you point it out but that’s about it. The most enraging part to me is that they’ll be so hypocritical when you have the same behavior on an OCCASION and then treat YOU like you’re crazy and overemotional all the time while they’re projecting all kinds of delusional nonsense onto you 24/7 but somehow THEY’RE walking on eggshells around YOU. I’m obviously kinda venting (mercurial apology :( ) but I hate this stupid ass behavior so much. Are you stupid or smart, pick one and stop exhausting everyone around you! They’re like ALLERGIC to standing on business almost until they don’t have to work too hard to see past themselves. It’s unendingly exhausting. I can’t wait to live alone 😭 no matter how much I love my shravana mama.

Claire said Lunars are logical??? 😂😂😂LMFAOO IM CACKLING

The Moon is the opposite of logic 😭 atleast Mercurials (despite all their other tendencies) are actually by textbook definition, logical and smart. Moon people think with their feelings and confuse them for facts

[conspicuous-clown-car]

Could you share some info about your fnaf self insert? They seem pretty cool :]

OOOOOOOOH BOY ARE YOU ASKING FOR AN INFO DUMP ?BECAUSE YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET AN INFO DUMP!!!!

first off, my self insert is basically just me, but some stuff is drastically different, and more of like, where i was 5 years ago mentally, so keep that in mind lol

sooo basics: their name is Kris Tycho, they're in their early 20s, they're 4'10, they're mexican, nonbinary, and aromantic

they are just a little guy who likes silly colorful fun things, as seen from the lil googly eye ring on their hand, the way they dress, and the fact that they might be the only person who wasn't scared of the dca when first meeting! they're also a fan of slightly unsettling and weird/misunderstood things, so, perfect match!

they are autistic and have adhd (like me!) so they tend to swing from being highly alert and focused to brain foggy and oblivious to what's going on around them. they do have bad sensory issues, mainly with sound and lights, which is why they decided to work night shift at the pizzaplex. also because they're reeeaallly socially awkward and get too stressed and exhausted working in customer service

they have a monotonous way of speaking, and can be taken too seriously due to having a resting bitch face, which tends to intimidate people. they're also a huge introvert, and don't make friends easily, which is partially due to how off-putting people find them. but! when they get comfortable with someone they're able to unmask and be overly expressive.

they also aren't exactly the most professional person, so people (vanessa) can be bothered by how casual they are at work (because they literally do not have the energy to act serious when its unnecessary). vanessa, exasperated by the animatronic shenanigans one night says "fuck robots" kris jokingly says "im trying" and vanessa is just like shut the fuck up. seriously.

they have spotify playlists of all the animatronics! (sun and moons have the most songs teehee)

is more than okay with the animatronics carrying them and being overly touchy. anyone else? immediately on their shit list

they're really good at sewing, and have fixed sun and moons clothes when management ignored their requests to repair them.

their favorite animatronic from the main band is glam chica (dont tell roxy)

their favorite movie is wall-e :] (they've always had a thing for robots)

their relationship with the dca kinda blurs the lines between platonic and....other, lol. they're unable to feel romantic feelings for them but they still do stuff like kiss and cuddle maybe other stuff too, but they basically act like besties and are each others comfort person. fuck labels! >:D

their entire thought process when deciding to work at the pizzaplex was, "i'll either work here long enough to pay off my student loans, or ill die. win win situation" (yikes, the pay there isn't even that good)

they're also huge fan of fazbear ent. because of all the rumors surrounding it, and because they were obsessed with the games when they were younger (which are canonically real in the fnaf universe). they are very aware of the alleged murders surrounding faz ent. and the very real danger of working at their establishments. but they're curious! sue them!

the reason vanessa and them are the only human workers in the entire building is because there needs to be at least 2 (human) people in an establishment during work hours (my source is i used to work at chuck e cheese, and that's my reference for the majority of these kinds of things)

their job title is security guard, but vanessa regularly gives them random tasks, things that staff bots aren't programmed or are unable to do, or things that dayshift workers forgot to do before closing. because between her, the staff bots, and moon, kris isn't exactly necessary when it comes to security.

kris doesn't meet the daycare attendant until like a month into their job, and when they do meet sun they immediately get kicked out of the daycare for not being a child lol. after going down the slide enough times to irritate sun he gives in, and they get to know each other. they spend at least an hour hanging out with sun each shift, and they even hang out outside of the daycare when they get too busy to visit!

moon has been stalking them the entire time though, when the lights go off every hour. they officially meet when kris has to do monthly maintenance on them and the lights go out while they're working. moon scares them by threatening and manhandling them, but they don't try to run. both because they're curious and because their flight or fight is just freeze. but after recovering from the shock the autism makes them go "holy shit your design is so cool how did your pants change color where did your hat come from?" and moon is completely silent, then he just laughs and leaves without letting kris finish maintenence.

ummm okay so they're actually a bit more willing to die than how i previously made it seem, their plan was essentially to try to explore as much of the pizzaplex as they can out of curiosity and if they die they die (they are not mentally well) so when they meet moon and he's slightly violent and grabby with them, they're like !!! an opportunity! so for selfish reasons (and because they vibe with the celestial jester theme), they try to get closer to moon. (secret reason: they like getting scared)

In this story there is no virus, its just vanny/vanessa being able to control the animatronics, but due to that they've become very anxious and stressed. this is why chica starts to overeat, why monty starts to have anger issues, why moon starts to act scary towards the children, and why sun starts to become an anxious mess.

at first kris didn't think the animatronics were sentient, and they were perfectly fine with the thought of possibly dying to one of them. but when they realized just how sentient they were (due to spending a lot of time around sun and moon), and how the animatronics were aware of what happened at previous locations, they felt sooo incredibly guilty.

despite not thinking the animatronics were sentient they still treated them like people, partly due to their autism that made them personify inanimate objects, but also because in their mind it was 'fun to act like they were real'. like an adult going to Disneyland and getting so lost in the magic that they forget the characters are just actors.

and... i don't want to spoil too much of the story yet teehee so ill end it there

thank u for letting me ramble! even though i kinda went overboard lol :]

[lordfreg]

hi feg :)

HRU?? I havent been able to chat or talk 2 u or even CHECK UP in on u in awhile and im sorry 😞😞mb chat—

ANYWAYS. Here to checkup on the awesome wonderful talented amazing extraordinary artist and friend.

Have you . . . EATEN THREE MEALS, DRINKEN A WATERBOTTLE, SLEEP EIGHT HOURS AND TAKE BREAKS??

EEEEKKKKKKK HIIIIIII FREANKIIEEEEEE I MISSED YOU SOOO MUUCCCHHHH!!!!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💜🖤💜🖤🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜💫🖤💫🖤💫💜💜🖤💫🖤💜🖤🖤💜

When I got this yesterday I basically said I was fine, but I'm going to be absolutely transparent; I am extremely unhappy

(tw su!c!de)

I think I don't think I'll be able to make it through next year. If I do, amazing! Epic!

But if I dont; it's not anyone's fault. Shit just happens sometimes and it's fine

I'm growing more and more exhausted and I'm breaking out in autoimmune rashes. My mental health has been on a decline, and I'm thinking about just dropping everything

I'm not getting help or the treatment I need. It hasn't been fun so far. As lexie can confirm, I freaked out a few days ago because of spiders

I'm working on saving to move out and go away for college because the mental health resources here are unhelpful, judgmental and gossipy

And im now finding out I may or may not have extreme psychosis and ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) and I don't want anyone to look at me differently for it. And I especially don't want people in this town knowing that.

My hallucinations are getting worse, I'm literally getting so exhausted I can't bare to draw for more than an hour a day. I want to draw nonstop, but I get tired like I just did gymnastics when I do.

So in conclusion; I'm not doing good and it hasn't been fun for me.

I might have parasites(???), but I haven't bene to the doctor in over 2 years because last time I went he took anxiety from my diagnosis because "I didn't look like I have anxiety"

I eat one meal a day, usually chicken, and have two protein shakes. I'm getting too exhausted to even get food anymore

I have powered through unhelpful lectures, exercise, daily chores, babysitting, work, family, etc.

It hasn't been fun to only work out because I'm angry. I've had 0 energy to do anything, and I haven't been motivated enough to do anything <- I literally had to put my phone down to rest

I literally am just typing my best to duck tape myself together so I can last a little longer. It's been really, really rough and I've been pacing in circles talking to myself because I don't have anyone to talk to.

Sure I have friends, but like, why would I ever say anything to them? Probably when I'm open and honest I sound like a complete pyscho hbhjjjjjkjjjnnj

I think the only thing keeping me from snapping is the fact I'm too tired to do anything.

Look, I'm really sorry if I disappointed you, or I seem like a cry baby, or I'm just a downer, I am in extreme mental turmoil constantly.

I am trying my best to keep it together.

Thank you for your time

[hor4ngshi]

/small vent (no triggers tho!)

came back from an awful day full of misgendering... im so mentally exhausted i swear. even if they do it unintentionally or not, its sooo so exhausting. why cant i live peacefully with my identity being respected... thank you also for reminding me that i dont pass At All

[closetdbisexual]

favorite first watches of august, 2024

hi ^__^ i lapsed in actually writing any reviews for this last month bc i was just so exhausted well maybe ill go back at some point i might do it eventually ill never know. i like movies more this month though <3 all of these are romcoms and so i chose photos of all the main couples in them. just kidding or am i

The Master - 5 stars

yayyyy my yaoi movie<3 very first thing i watched this month and i have thought about it every day since which probably doesnt mean anything, or itll change my world forever just like boogie nights did. i gave a more proper review on letterboxd but i looove you movieyy i love the difficult and traumatized main characters in pta's movies freddie is really interesting to follow his relationship with lancaster so special to me they're so interesting dog/owner moment <33 and amy adams is really really good in her role they're all just. such interesting characters pulling each other into their lives and trying to take control of their lives and each other. trying to be free in a way nobody really can be... i love how the cult is never portrayed as being like a grift to the people involved, you can tell lancaster and peggy really believe in what they're doing there, even if they shouldn't. and freddie and lancaster are so in love and doomed <33 it's a bit strange to go "i think the relationship between the sex-obsessed veteran and the cult leader is really romantic" but it is likeeee. it is. anyway i love substance abuse i love tragedy i love mental illness i love when guy is a guard dog i love you moviey oh also laura dern is in this and i love her lots hi laura dern so sweetie why havent i seen blue velvet yet :-( she's very lovely in this and amy adams is so good, they all give all really excellent performances but i'm highlighting them

Challengers - 5 stars

I LOVE YOU TASHI !!!!! good as hell good fucking movie jesus christ probably just like an objectively perfect and incredible movie huh. so fun watching it with my friend and the cinematography here is insanely good the score is insanely good it's so faggy it's so sweaty very sexy movie, i love tashi forever and her knee injury she's sooo me <33 and she's fujoing out she's sooooo me <3 justice for aromantic fujoshis autisticly obsessed with tennis she's actually the most woke character of all time if you think about it. and of course i love their bisexual faggot threesome thing and to be honest it was suicidemotifed i love her telling patrick to kill himself. zendaya is so good in this she has such good expressions i love you tashi

The Killing of a Sacred Deer - 4 and 1/2 stars

yay<3 also watched it with my friend yayyy so funsies also ok i get it now i wasn't totally fucking w/ lanthimos after the lobster (which i did like but i just felt like it wasn't very strong plotwise) i much preferred this though very much my kind of movie. colin farrell is so hot sorry and sorry but he and martin have a truly beautiful gay reverse-grooming manipulation thing going on i support 16 year olds manipulating married middle-aged men thats like my whole thinggg anyway yeah the family unit getting undermined and parental abuse/neglect and alcoholism and really strong stylistic choices w/ the cinematography and the monotone dialogue im obsessed with the dialogue in this it's such a good choice and there's so many long hallway shots <33 i love you hallways. the only thing i don't like is how hospital-oriented it is but like thats not an issue with the movie thats an issue with me yknow

I'm Your Man - 4 and 1/2 stars

doomed heterosexuality<3 alma is one of the top ten most beautiful women ive ever seen and shes sooo real so relatable, and what her and tom have is so tragic and romantic and it hurt to watch how they pushed-and-pulled against each other and each tried to be human in their own ways and even though the love was there they were so incompatible it just couldn't work they couldn't make it work. loved all the big open spaces it made it feel so empty and subdued, the score is beautiful, alma and tom's actors give such good performances and really it kind of haunts me. just really good. and sandra hüller jumpscare ily girl ive GOT to watch anatomy of a fall i need to See her

i don't normally do honorable mentions but today i will i also really liked But I'm A Cheerleader (4 and 1/2 stars) and Sorry to Bother You (3 and 1/2 stars) i love lesbians they were very sweet and it had shockingly good cinematography that i kind of didn't expect from it (my bad i thought it was going to be more like a silly romcom i guess) it was really lovely though. and sorry to bother you had such insanely cool art direction i didn't really enjoy the pacing esp. the last 30 minutes did not come across well to me and i honestly didn't like the ending, but it was a very creative movie visually and just other than that i liked it wish it just didn't lose steam at the end... ily detroit i loved her earrings the costume design was soooo good i also liked cassius of course too i liked a lot of it yayy movies