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#im sorry i just dont think they would have been good in therapy even tho they agrreed to it
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911 + Text Posts pt72/?
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enden-k · 3 months
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(Sorry for the ramble but these 2 idiots have been stuck in my brain for days now)
Soo can we talk about the fact that after the meeting with Sunday, Ratio immediately asks if Aven is okay. Like my dude, you're still in the dream and are being watched, that's not how someone who just 'betrayed' another person  acts.
Also, Aven being the one who has to subtly correct Ratio (at least thats the interpretation im going with) reminding him that they still have to act like they hate each other. (They're both geniuses in completely different ways, textbook definition of book smarts vs streets smarts)
ALSO, dispite that slip up from Ratio, Aven still doubting whether Ratio was acting or not (someone get this man a hug and some therapy I swear)
Anyways, I love these 2 idiots, and I hope we get to see more of their dynamic, specifically outside Penacony, bc I suspect most of what we saw was an act to trick The Family, and their actual dynamic hasn't been shown that much
its in ratios nature to be so harsh and not filtering, its just ratio
to shorten it, hoyo literally made him a tsundere. he calls aventurine an idiot and cares about his wellbeing. HIS SHY FACE IS HIM LOOKING ANGRY AND AVERTING HIS EYES HHHHHDHHHH its all so obvious
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my thoughts/short ramble abt their dynamic utc
while all that happened was aventurine and ratio acting and fooling everyone, i dont think much in their dynamic would change outside of it. ratio is harsh and sarcastic and angry and loud etcetc (not out of malice) but he does care at the same time so i see him keep up his usual ratio-typical behavior towards aventurine - altho softening, toning it down, especially when aventurine is clearly suffering/behaving differently than you usually see him (like when he asked him if hes okay or when he thought he offended him) but other times harsh as usual, maybe even more aggressive when aventurine does get under his skin what a tsundere
(also, when you pair him with aventurine, he says (in his usual harsh way) "take care of yourself, i dont need your concern" - i think this shows really nicely how his dynamic/feelings toward aventurine are - harsh and caring in the same breath, aventurine is self destructive after all)
anw yea ig i derailed a bit sorry. i think ratio raised his usual behavior by some lvls than he would usually treat aventurine to not raise suspicions, trying to come off like he doesnt care and like aventurine is an unpleasant annoyance
the cutscene where aventurine is about lie and sentence himself? the look ratio gives him?
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when aventurine is about to open the box that will expose his lie and he looks up to catch ratios gaze before he turns away ?
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maybe im thinking too much into it, theres also prob different ways to interpret this but their lingering gazes, like a silent exchange between them underneath that act and ratio turning away when he gets his answer-
and yea like u mentioned ratios acting, his behavior towards aventurine, being so good that even aventurine is doubting if its an act or his true feelings towards him (giving him that hug myself!!!!!!)
anw thats my (not organized) thoughts tho, maybe their dynamic does change to smth entirely different than what i babble abt here, who knows. anw cant wait to see them reunite and show more!!!
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vorpalfae · 8 months
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hi do you mind if I ask you what symptoms of bipolar you have experienced before/are currently experiencing right now? if this is too heavy for you to answer then that’s alright it’s just that I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 and I wanted to hear about the experience from another person.. thank you 
well i have bipolar 1 rapid cycling which is more severe than just having bipolar 1. and bipolar 1 by itself is more severe than bipolar 2, so definitely don't compare yourself to me too much. also everyone is different. not every person with bipolar of any type has the same symptoms. i also have anxiety, ptsd, and im seeing a psychiatrist in november to be tested for a neurological disorder that my therapist thinks i may have but she can't diagnose me. so sometimes those symptoms from other things overlap into what i experience. some things might be caused by my anxiety or ptsd. for example i've had hallucinations plenty of times which can be a symptom of bipolar but also could be from ptsd too. i have manic episodes all the time. and when im not having mania im basically in a constant state of depression. its awful. i do have impulses but ive spent years learning how to control them. they used to be uncontrollable and it ruined my life for many years. my sleep and appetite changes constantly. sometimes i dont need sleep at all and other times all i do is sleep. and most of them time i can't eat a lot. and when i am able to eat i end up binge eating to make up for barely eating most of the time. im extremely indecisive and its hard to focus on one task. i usually have like 10 different tasks going at a time which makes it hard to complete anything. but i also become obsessed with my interests. it actually annoys ppl because i will talk about the same few things over and over. i have suicidal thought all the time. only thoughts tho. i would never act on them. but before i could control my impulses i had multiple attempts to end my life. i also have constant racing thoughts or my mind feels blank and i'll be completely silent for days sometimes because i have nothing to say. except when it comes to my children. obviously i speak to them when they are around, but i won't start a conversation when my mind feels blank or i won't CHOOSE to say anything for days. yeah it really fucking sucks. life with bipolar is mainly living in extremes. [for me anyway]. im either exteremely happy or extremely sad. same goes with being confident or not confident, hungry or not hungry, etc. one of the hardest things is having so much energy when im manic and feeling constantly tired and drained when im depressive. because i have children and i HAVE to be productive on daily basis. i can't just NOT clean or do dishes or laundry etc. so when im depressive i have to mentally and physically force myself to do anything. its honestly absolute hell. and im so sorry you have it too. i wish i had more positive things to tell you about it, but im not going to sugarcoat it or lie to you.
as long as you put in effort to work on yourself and try to be aware of the way you react to things or what things affect your mood, it will get easier. i know that i NEED therapy. every time i left therapy i relapsed on drugs or i mentally deteriorated. so i highly recommend finding a good therapist if you start to struggle badly. or just have one just to help you even if you don't think you need one. they help sooo much with helping u understand yourself and your thoughts and actions. i wish you nothing but the best✨💜 bipolar disorder can be so crippling. it can even be a disability for some ppl. for me it is. i am getting disability soon because its pretty impossible to find a job that works with what im able and unable to do. it lowered my confidence a lot when i realized i needed the extra help but now im more okay with it because i know its just the hand i've been dealt. i didnt ask for bipolar disorder. just like i didn't ask for it to prevent me from working. its just what happened to me. and thats okay. 🖤💜 i hope you are well🥰
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mental-health-advice · 3 months
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Hello!
(tw mentions of sh but nothing graphic)
I really dont know if this is the place for this, if so simply being able to write this out is probably helpful. I am in a romantic relationship with someone who self harms (were both 19). This was a thing i knew about before we got together, we were both going through a rough patch then and bonded a lot of beinf able to talk about our problems, i think back then i was so busy dealing with my own mountain of problems and thoughts of self inury (that i luckily never followed through on) that worry for someone else didnt even fit.
While all the resources I can find are really helpful im at a bit of a loss now, ive done everything right, i already had expierience with other friends and myself. They are in therapy and are on the path to healing, take good care of the wounds generally and we can openly comunicate about this and generally have been able to do so effectively.
These last few months however theres been more slip ups than before. I know progress is not linear, and its still much a work in progress (this has been an issue for 7 years, 1 year of recovery is obviously nothing). I am incredibly proud of the progress they have made, last year it was twice weekly trips to the ER, so even twice a month is huge already. also know they wont be able to quit or even signficantly reduce the self harm until they move out, since their family is unstable and does everything wrong (gets angry, threatens with ultimatums, generally extremely scared of their scars).
last few times with a slip up its made me freak out too, I have an anxiety disorder which this now triggers (i used to have a slightly better grip on this) I try to remain calm and helpful for their sake, but its mostly incredibly upsetting im not there to help them, and i know being there to talk helps but ive run out of material ways to help. It also feels like it proves my fear that something will always go wrong, which can lead me to have panic attacks. Ive talked about this with them of course and we get through it together, i really want to be better at keeping a slightly leverer head though. I used to have counceling too who helped me, but since i turned 18 and finished school im now on a waitinglist for adult help, and while talking to other friends helps somewhat its still generally makes me panic, sleep badly and sometimes have nightmares. I really love them, whenever were together we bring out the best in eachother and im afraid if i talk about this too much to people theyll tell me to break up with them.
we have plans to move in together for university next year, which im sure will help a lot (i know they wont magically heal then either, but ill be there as a more sturdy support and theyll be able to access ER, etc without being shamed) and ill have a therapist again then too, so its just these coming months that are going to be very rough. I just never know how to calm myself down, i know its not rational (they are hurt but never badly, they always talk to me about it, their psychologist will generally help too) i also know im allowed to feel sad and scared, i just want to be more in control.
back when i had a therapist she used to talk about trying to stay at my own feelings, not getting dragged down into someone else. But i just dont know how to do that, whenever it happens its just so sad and i hate it. No matter how much i remind myself even after ive allowed myself a period to be sad that itll be okay and they are relatively safe and i see them every week it feels so awful. Its not very tennable to ruin my whole night, next day on this every time. sorry this is sooo long but i feel the context is important as ive gone through a lot of advice, thank u tho.
Hey there,
Whilst I think that it is great that you have been able to help this person for such a long period of time, unfortunately it is not always sustainable no matter how much we would like it to be. This though doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try if you want to, I am just trying to point out that unless you look after yourself too and put a bit of a barrier between you and this person then it is likely that things may not change or improve for YOU.
I know how great it can feel when we help another and especially when we see such big improvements for the person we are trying to help and support, but the end line is that we can only do so much until we ourself begin to crumble or struggle a bit (which it sounds like you are to some degree) and so I am wondering if you can put some space between this person and you at all to focus on yourself a bit more and self-care may be of some benefit to you.
In regards to this person, any day of no self-harm is an amazing achievement and no amount of set backs or slip ups/ relapses can take these achievements away from them. It’s important to know that that recovery comes from within and so unless this person chooses to and is ready to focus on their recovery then it is unlikely that things will change for them and they will still be in survival mode. This is in no way your fault, and nor is there much you can do about it as we cannot choose recovery for another person, it has to be when they are ready and choose to try to commit. And even then, it’s quite normal to go back to survival mode and go back and forth between recovery and not, this does not mean they are not still trying, but rather they are just human like everyone of us are. I remember in my own recovery away from self-harm I did go in and out of trying to not self-harm depending on how strong I felt on the day and what triggers may have come up that made me want to self-harm, this didn’t mean I wasn’t trying or that, it was just that I was really struggling and the urges to self-harm were too strong to try and fight them.
So, what can you do?
To begin with try to be patient with yourself and this person and know that even when they seem to not be trying, they actually are. Try to put some space in between you and this person to enable you to look after yourself too. You can do this by practising good self-care (trying to eat healthy, doing some exercise a few times a week and trying to get a good nights sleep) and tyring to have some ‘down time’ where you can simply just think about yourself and do some things that you enjoy doing whatever that may be. I know that you may feel selfish and bad for taking some time out for yourself, but if you don’t look after yourself then it won’t be sustainable to help support others and be there for them if you choose to do so.
In regards to how it can make you feel when this person does self-harm or is struggling quite a bit, as your therapist mentioned to you, try to take a step back and allow yourself some time to grieve or feel sad and try to be kind to yourself – I know how it can feel like a loss to you as well when someone is struggling and self-harms as a result, but in reality it has nothing to do with you and how much or how little you are there for the, it is bound to happen anyway and this in no way reflects on you and how good a job you may be doing to support them through difficult times and days.
I know that you mentioned that it can cause great anxiety when they do self-harm now, and so when this happens, again, try to be kind to yourself and do try to take some time out for you. And I know, this is much easier said than done, but it will get easier though with practice and it may also be helpful to check out our page on calming anxiety and panic as well for some more ideas on different coping strategies.
I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!
I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!
Take care,
Lauren
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yuukei-yikes · 1 year
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Here’s a Harutaka ask for you! Do you think they’d get married? If yes what do you think their wedding would be like? Also I hope you feel better soon!
HIII if it isnt the little guy i watched slowly get into kagepro. whatsup. how are u holding up being into kagepro. ALSO THANK U im already a lil better i ate 1 single boiled egg and now im laying in bed
yes haruka and takane 10000% get so married. i have this silly headcanon that haruka is begging her from day 1 to get married because IDK he's just excited about being alive and takane liking him💗💗💗 and maybe he is also terrified of her changing her mind abt liking him and for some reason thinks getting married will solve that feeling of feeling not good enough for her💗💗💗 wait who said that. but takane's all like No haruka we're only like 20 and he's like AUUUUGGGHHH!!! fine
honestly its a hc born from a bit in the novels (im not sure u read them) where haruka says man i wish takane stopped swearing so much she's gonna have a hard time finding a husband💔💔💔 ITS SO FUNNY TO ME idk likeeee since he knew he'd die, he never imagined being an adult at all. this is more in the territory of the early twenties crisis he apparently has post str i guess. which is also hilarious.
i think haruka's like... he thinks of marriage of this weird alien thing bc as a teen he wont even entertain the idea of dating or anything bc HES DYING like he literally shoots down the acknowledgement of his feelings for takane BECAUSE he is dying. he's like man whats the fucking point if im just gonna die this sucks ASS
so marriage. well it's an adult thing. and he turns out to be alive!! and takane REALLY LIKES HIM FOR SOME REASON!!! and he's like WELL WERE ADULTS ARENT WE WHY THE HELL SHOULDNT WE GET MARRIED???? takane's like because we're BARELY adults like BARELY. and also IN SO MUCH NEED OF THERAPY. and haruka's like i dont see how that's related🙄🙄🙄 whatever takane ur such a bore🙄🙄🙄 its just a silly argument they laugh and tease each other about *rips hair out* theyre so CUTE AUGGHHH
yeah they do eventually get married. not IMMEDIATELY though but still probably rly young. like before their mid twenties young. LOL!!! as for a wedding i dont think they'd actually care about one??? because haruka and takane are really introverted ppl and being the center of attention mortifies both. well takane's used to attention bc streamer slay but its not. the same. like that's different BASICALLY i dont think takane would care to throw money in something like this and haruka is also like whatever man just sign the paper so i can officially be ur boywife. they still probably have like a little get together with the dan though. maybe they dont even tell them they're like OH BY THE WAY WE DID SOMETHING FUNNY TODAY wjxnoefuoendoefundkc call shintaro&ayano on the phone like can u come with us to sign as our witnesses. and shintaro and ayano are like WITNESSES OF WHAT? erm. haruka&takane engaged for exactly 14 hours when haruka asks takane to marry him for the millionth time and this time she's like uhhh. yeah alright👍
thats my harutaka wedding hc. that theyre too lazy to have a wedding🫡 ayano mourns it so much she's been like wedding planning her whole life for her siblings. seto&mary get ultra married as soon as theyre 18 im not getting into those hcs i already did but ayano goes so crazy with it. and then haruka&takane are next (tho years later) and ayano's like WH?? BUT IM?? SUPPOSED TO PLAN ANOTHER WEDDING????? WHAT DO U MEAN U WONT MAKE ONE???? and theyre like 🤷‍♂️ maybe she forces them and she organizes it alone and forces them to kiss in front of everyone and only then stops being annoying. sorry i love crazed wedding planner ayano
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eldritchmochi · 9 months
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b m u y ! letter ask game
B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.
i fully blame seize and gem for getting me on the shadowidomauk train, regardless of the teif personality. seize especially has me in a chokehold re: their lucien and essek combo in one of their fics, which i have not read nor do i even know if its been posted but they keep sending me snippets like MOCHI YOU WILL LOVE THIS IT HAS ALL* YOUR KINKS and by dog they're right (*it is not actually "all" this is impossible as i have Too Many Kinks but)
also gem's essek-owns-a-boujie-coffee-shop au that has shadowidomauk as end game is cute as shit im sorry gem that i haven't had the spoons to edit more (its so good aaa)
M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.
i answered M with "ashton" over here in this post the other day but another character i would want to be friends withhhhhhhh hmmm lets say asterion. no i have not played the game but from the lore i have absorbed via cherry he is very much the kind of gay i would have fun having catty gossip with while also being the sort of rock for him to lean on and like..... not therapy him i hate being peoples therapist but the immovable object he can bounce trauma off and figure out How 2 People again. i think he would appreciate my bluntness and the way i set clear, explicit boundaries but am otherwise unflappable, and i would certainly appreciate his humour, and we can bond!! over the whole being ace as a result of trauma!! :D
U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.
answered U over here with ashton, kylo, and bucky over here but lets do it again!!
lets kick it off by going Old School with the Original Husbando ^TM: vash the stampede. you have no idea how jazzed i am about the new trigun anime (no i have not watched it i merely enjoy the smut on twitter) because vash is like, my og blorbo. did i have blorbos before? yes, kind of, but my Wants in a man* (*fictional character) had not yet developed so they were but proto-blorbos. vash tho... he has it all: tall pretty boy happy go lucky twink who is secretly Full Of Trauma but shoves it down super hard by being just so upbeat and goofy, and just really wants..... love and peace lmao. a lot of my blorbos historically have similar vibes in the "puts on an act to cover deep severe trauma" way lmao
next up: more anime i guess, but modern: i honestly super fucking love all might???? like SO MUCH he is such an interesting character and i desperately want to read fic of him grappling with his severe health issues alongside his image as a hero AND his mentoring of midoriya (preferably with that guud guud smut, but i have no clue who i'd ship him with, i only got two seasons in lmao). unfortunately, everything i like about him isnt even in cannon its just stuff that i, a cripple, can extrapolate from the worldbuilding and lil snippets we get of him but MAN i am o b s e s s e d
third!!! more comics: loki, specifically the agents of asgard loki. i am 100000% planning to cosplay that loki (i have the hair after all) and i am very excited because he is just so very Gender. it was the first time i saw a genderfluid character in mainstream media and his "i AM gender queer, i IDENTIFY as a bitch" like is something i quote constantly to describe my gender. also hes just such a dick who is obviously trying to do better and unlearn bad habits and god, i dont remember specifically what its about but he has a big fight with his earthside contact roommate buddy helper person over something and then comes crawling back and does this big speech where he talks about how he knows hes a fuck up but he's trying and he values her friendship so much even if he's been shit about showing it and it is chefs kiss
Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?
dragon age. just... i know so much vague dragon age lore from listening to cherry talk about it because it is their BIG love for video games (pending bg3..... not sure if itll overtake da but theyre very sad they cannot play it again til monday lmao). i absolutely instigated a convo with someone on okc asking if xyz thing was a da reference and i was rIGHT it secured me a date lmao
similarly, mass effect, batfam stuff, haunted mansion, nbc hannibal (dont ask me why its a fandom in law still i cannot explain), s8 infinity (???? i only know matcha blossom), the final fantasy mmo, taz......
you can ask me more of these letter questions!! i have much time to spare!! maybe!!!
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crowning-art · 2 years
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TGCF SPOILERS BOOK 4
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enfkjenkenfe so turns out I forgot a lot of important incidents and had to go back and reread a bunch of book 2 (heart breaking experience even when you know what's gonna happen T-T) and there's this one line that made me laugh tho where Fengxin describes Hua Cheng when he was younger
“That brat will definitely grow up to be a good man!” Feng Xin commented.
lmao dude has noooo idea that this 'good man' will the bane of his existence in the future lmao
ok ok now for the actual reading!!
Everything here feels so sad like Xie Lian here is rejecting the steamed buns, the very same steamed buns that years later, he will happily eat off the ground....
Feng Xin and Mu Qing were already waiting for him outside. Feng Xin had brought back steaming-hot buns, and Mu Qing was slowly munching at them. Feng Xin passed two over to Xie Lian, but when Xie Lian saw those dull and dry crude buns he lost his appetite. He shook his head, refusing them.
My heaaart! Xie Lian gets his cooking skills from his mom T-T that's so cute but so heart breaking considering the circumstances.
I reread book 2 and saw it happen but to see the origins of this tradition is just....sad (gotta increase my vocab, something says Im going to need more words to describe sad soon lol)
“Now, none of you understand. Worshipping a God of Misfortune would certainly bring bad luck, but this statue isn’t for worshipping, it’s for stepping. If you step on a God of Misfortune, doesn’t that mean it’d ensure your everlasting good fortune?”
NOOOOO BABYYYYYYY MY BELOVED DONT GOOOOOO I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Mu Qing replied, “The king and the queen are His Highness’ parents, and I have my own mother. She needs my care too. I can’t say I need to go take care of someone else and someone else’s parents, and neglect my own mother. So, I pray Your Highness will understand, I cannot continue to follow by your side.”
but also....I get it.....he's justified to leave....but dooooon't
You're kidding me. You're absolutely kidding me
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME HUA CHENG DIED IN THE XIANLE BATTLES AGAINST YONG'AN??? AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE??? WHAT WAS HE? 17? 21???
Within the lanterns were all the wandering feral spirits that the elder had captured from the barren battlefield, so the one before him now must also be a young warrior.
He said quietly, “This war separated you from your beloved…I’m sorry. I didn’t win.”
However, the nameless ghost declared, “To die in battle for you is my greatest honour.
MY HEART IS BREAKING SO MUCH THINKING ABOUT THIS cuz little Hua Cheng was out there, alone, trying his best to bring comfort to Xie Lian from a distance, and fighting in a fierce battle, and then he dies. and it must have been a painful and brutal death...and no one knew...and he was alone...but he wasn't alone cuz Xie Lian never left his mind....but this little boy was all alone when he took his last breathe...
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Ouch....pls someone give him therapy
The ghost was insistent, “Believe me, Your Highness.”
“I don’t believe you,” Xie Lian said.
He no longer believed anyone, and he no longer believed in himself either.
God I absolutely love Feng Xin so much, like my boi went out of his way and was willing to do something so humiliating to help Xie Lian and you can see how difficult it was....this is so sad
Feng Xin removed the bow on his back and boldly pulled at it. “My…My nickname is ‘Godly Archer’; I can shoot a bullseye from a hundred feet away. I will show off my embarrassing skill for everyone to see. If you all enjoy the show, will you p-please grant some coins!”
Lmao at this point, I should have a sad counter considering how many times I said it hahahaha
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misqnon · 3 months
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hi. march. slowly shortening this introduction to my posts. sorry if this is a little incoherent i woke up in the middle of the night and im getting sleepy again
i tried looking up fanfiction involving hannyabul and magellan the other day and there was almost none??? i really thought theyd be .. at least a little popular ... the dynamics... arent the dynamics similar to zosan or cavendish and bartolomeo.. dont people like that.. (i wouldnt know since ive never really been a fan of the enemies/rivals to lovers trope)
im pretty sure kidd wears a beast pirate disguise? and like .. good for him... (good for me).. hes got the titties out. i love men. i also rly enjoy the few frobin moments we get when theyre in disguise, theyre super cute!! it seems like u havent been spoiled on the Biggest Moments in wano so im very very glad to hear that. it also kind of has a mystery aspect so i think its probably way more enjoyable to go in blind. there IS a special kind of anticipation when u know what's coming but.. imo its more fun to guess how things will go rather than know and be excited about it
honestly i didnt care for the setting either. in the anime tho .. big mom's introduction is so good. theres a song that plays (its in the manga too but it's way better to hear it rather than... read lyrics) and when i started wci i was still watching the anime, so i got to listen to the song. it was stuck in my head for days. very catchy. i love how theatrical it is and it really made me excited for the arc .. and then i ended up barely enjoying it LOL. also i do actually love pudding but her age also makes me go... ewww. oda made an awful decision making her 16 . gives me kyros flashbacks.. although sanji doesnt seem to be genuinely interested in her. but still like why did oda do that... why... what is the point ... wci does pick back up a bit imo after they get sanji back (which i think is the part ur at? or a little bit after?) and i honestly think it wraps up quite nicely. and yeah.. most importantly.. katakuri is introduced in the second half. lovely guy. i heart him
robin's va did that in. one take??? that is Insane?? she genuinely channeled robin in that moment wtf
i will definitely talk abt opla if/when i watch it. even if zoro doesnt have his goofiness at least i can thirst over him. am i into mackenyu? no.. zoro? yeahs........ also i can definitely see how jacob being too hot is an issue for usopp LOL. some people just.. ooze confidence.. and are too smooth. i think ill probably enjoy his characterization anyways tho cuz i adore usopp
i cant draw women for the life of me but transfem sanji is haunting my brain and.. she made me attempt .. attempt to draw a lady. its her. shes the lady.
YOU THOUGHT OF ME??? im so flattered U have no idea aikfjshdjd. law.. i.. hes a little fucked up.. human art pieces . actually as someone who's done a bit of sculpture (but not abstract art. and it was ceramics) i can appreciate it. if he didnt use real living people in his art i would definitely appreciate it more.. but i imagine seeing a severed head on a sculpture and then they start talking to u.. i imagine that would be a Little.. scary... just a little . i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing law .
i think its semi canon?? theres a moment in the anime (idk if its in the manga or not) where bepo gives law.. puppy dog? eyes? but like .. polar bear version. and law is clearly weak to that. also he calls chopper a tanuki even after being asked not to bc chopper has a cute reaction (he gets mad). so i think he IS weak to cute animals. he is very similar to robin like that... they would definitely bond over choppers cuteness. and they both have weird taste.. in cute animals. its not bunnies or idk. dogs or cats. robin likes pathetic animals (the dragon that had to carry them all up to zou) and law likes . bepo. a 7 foot tall polar bear man.
THATS SUCH A STRANGE COINCIDENCE. this is my first time moving since ive lived in the same place my whole life .. so its kinda exciting and also kinda scary.
OH so u can send images but it just cant be on anon. im.. one day... one day for sure.. (soon). i grew up on twitter tho .. yeah. and before that it was youtube. i have been on the internet since the beginning of time (since i was in single digits. like 5 maybe idk, but i do remember being able to make my own youtube account at 7, and i had been using my brothers before that). my dark past. since ive been on the internet so long i just accept that theres probably a load of my personal information out there for anyone to see. and also a bunch of embarrassing things I've said from years ago. sometimes i come across a youtube comment from when i was like 9 and its always a bit shocking LOL
I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED WITH SESSHOMARU. when i found out .... it .. it .. i.... i dont have words. its so upsetting 😭. actually ive kind of been trying to get into vocaloid bc i recently (like 2 years ago) found out i had been listening to it.. and i didnt know. i didnt realize it was vocaloid
LOL, i say IT COUNTS. i dont draw in my mind cuz i have slight aphantasia. i imagine drawing in ur head is way more relaxing than actually drawing... cuz like... the struggle of anatomy.. proportions.. lighting.. colors.. yeah art is so hard.
there havent been any sbs's recently i dont think?? like they stopped at some point during wano and .. idk what happened. i miss it .. i want to ask about the giant snails that pull germa's ship... well i want someone else to ask about it really . not me. but yeah i have a lot of questions and i just hope it comes back soon 😔. maybe im just missing them somehow but i have checked multiple places. but for some reason i dont see anyone mention it.
RIGHT?? RIGHT???? dont worry the colorism stays /s. they have characters in the latest episodes that are dark skinned and they made only the girl lighter skinned. oda didnt do that. oda made them all the same in the manga. its infuriating.
an issue i have post timeskip is that i actually cannot tell the women apart half the time. they all look pretty similar in the manga, although theyre distinguishable by their clothes and hair. but there was a spread (not colored) that had the main one piece women all in different clothes and with different hair and i sat there for multiple minutes trying to figure out who was who. like i genuinely couldnt tell. i miss nami's short hair,, it had so much character.. and i also miss robins short hair.. again.. it had so much character.
even on a colored cover i had a moment where i was like "is that vivi or is it nami" because it was just a solid blue. i assumed vivi based off context clues and bc.. blue. but if i hadnt had that.. i dont think i wouldve been able to tell. i have no problem with character design changing but oda makes most of the women next to indistinguishable from one another now. its really upsetting. if they had different skin tones or even just. different eye shapes. or different figures. it wouldnt be that much of an issue. but nooo he cant do that. all women who are supposed to be attractive have to look the same.
YEAH ive seen that video!!! u show up a lot on my feed but most of the time its just... the same few posts... which is kind of funny. I ALSO LOVED THE NEWKAMA!! like wow!!! queer representation??? i feel a kinship with these characters?? bon clay literally made impel down for me. my favorite boygirl girlboy. i adore u bon clay.. i adore u.
im a big fan of fukaboshi so i think anytime he was on screen my enjoyment was elevated. also zoro fighting hody(is that who it was) underwater was so cool . like how are u better than a fishman in water??? and the moments with noah... it felt like it was setting up some rly big things and i always love stuff like that. LOL YEAH sanji was even grosser on return to sabaody. i think its just not talked about as much because it wasnt a long arc and he wasnt on screen for a lot of it
oh they for sure have some good points. i also miss the silly shenanigans of pre timeskip. but overall im enjoying post timeskip more, and i do think theyre at least a LITTLE BIT blinded by nostalgia. its hard not to be tbh. i do really miss seeing all the crew together. i dont exactly mind them splitting up but .. i feel like a lot of them end up kind of sidelined. we dont get to see (just some examples) brook or chopper or nami fight much and i. i love them.. i love them just as much as the rest of the crew. i think nami has a really interesting fighting style. and brook is just fun. and people complain (validly) that chopper has been mascotified. which i wouldnt mind so much if he got more cool moments but he doesnt!! we dont even get to see him being a doctor that often :(.
like the writing is still fantastic but yeah. i agree. oda has basically run the jokes that were already pretty tired. into the ground. sanji being the one who suffers most from it. i dont mind robin having more moments where she imagines a really gruesome thing has happened to someone, for example. because she barely did that pre timeskip, and now she only does it occasionally so its not like "oh my god STOP". its still enjoyable. but. idk if theres even a prominent example of someone's character joke being awful other than sanji. like hes the only one who has a consistently awful joke. that in my opinion has never been funny. and its been made into a huge part of his character. i still love post timeskip to death bc. look at everything thats happening!! but i have a lot . lot . lot of gripes with it.
fellow impel down and dressrosa lover 🫡. i do rly like water 7 but . i dont know why but i never enjoyed enies lobby all that much. i think thats probably super controversial LOL. oops.
oh friend... u have no idea..... i have SO many one piece thoughts ... i have paragraphs upon paragraphs of one piece thoughts... the hyperfixation is actively killing me /j
wait let me. find . some.. i send them all in my private (as in its just me and my irl best friend) discord server so its not only in chronological order from when i sent the messages but its also extremely disorganized.. hmm a lot of these are/involve huge spoilers LOL
wait. how do u feel about sanji with heterochromia. one eye is blue and the other is brown . u get the best of both worlds... i felt like i was smart for this but ur the resident sanji lover. u have the say (in my mind) of what is best for him,,,
i saw someone say usopp would get conquerers haki and i big time disagree. he has the best observation haki in the crew and i feel like him getting conquerers haki would kinda cheapen that. and it cheapens his growth. why does he need to have conquerers haki to be a brave warrior of the sea? hes doing perfectly well without it. and also i dont think it fits his character. hes cowardly, has no self confidence, runs away from battles sometimes out of fear, and definitely has a huge sense of shame. from what i know, people with conquerers haki are usually super self assured, strong in a pretty traditional sense, and dont have much self doubt. usopp is like the opposite of that. i think hes very brave because he fights despite how scared he is, but the character archetype just doesn't work imo. like usopp without those characteristics is. to me. not usopp. tell me what u think!! also im like 90% sure none of this is spoilery but if it is i am so so sorry
obviously i havent seen the live action yet but live action shanks looks too hot to me.. like hes too conventionally attractive. i want him to be.. a rat man.. greasy .. but extremely charming.. and hes NOT!! hes just regular hot!??
do all places in one piece just have extra chairs or tables that are bigger? cuz there are some characters that arent of the giant race but are huge. and yet they fit on regular chairs. do u have a 8 foot tall guy walk into ur bar and u have to say "wait a second, we need to get out the big chairs" and then drag out a chair twice ur size? is that the case EVERYWHERE? or do some places not have big chairs so if ur extremely large u just have to sit in a chair thats too small for u.. or maybe u just sit on the floor. or stand.
that scene in sabaody of usopp asking rayleigh if the one piece is real, and luffy gets mad and tells usopp that he doesnt want to know, and if he finds out he will quit right now because he wont go on an adventure that isnt any fun. luffy is such a chill, silly captain, that im sure him snapping like that must be scary. usopp looked so shocked. i love their relationship. i think moments like that. really solidify how real the characters feel. like yeah, they have strong, defined morals. and they will argue and be childish and yell for the sake of their morals. i feel like a lot of media has characters with morals but it doesn't ever show them actually disagreeing with someone. let alone a friend. idk im not wording this great but i think this moment is so good. i love the moments of childishness in one piece. its very humanizing to have immaturity in ur characters
ok thats what ill leave u with for now :)
IM GLAD THAT MADE U LAUGH!! i felt really called out by constantly seeing it bc.. yeahm.. admittedly .. cannibalism is sexy sometimes.. i recently admit this to myself...
"i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing law ."
i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing march .
*nods* march 🫡
i dont think i’ve ever actually met someone who doesn’t like enemies to lovers before?? ik its popular bc its one of my favs and im happy about that bc im always nosedeep in the content SFNKJDN. valid tho. i cant speak bc ive written two 50K+ zosan fanfics and will probably write more 🧍I’LL USE THOSE SKILLS TO WRITE HANYAGELLAN FOR YOU. HAHA JK …UNLESS
so ive only met kidd once or twice right. i met him in sabaody pre-timeskip when the worst generation got introduced and he’s had a couple small moments since then. but i just feel and know in my heart that i would be a kidd girlie. red haired angry anime men are one of those specific niches i’m like YEAAA YEAAA [CHEERING] and people are always talking about his tits in the one piece server i’m in so. DFJNVIDJ HELL YEAH IM READY FOR THAT
and frobin…hell yea…theyre so cute…my weirdo couple…
actually!! im reading the manga on tcbscans and there’s a comment section under every chapter that i like to read bc its cool seeing ppl’s reactions (as i’ve said) and in big mom’s intro chapter someone was like “if ur manga only look up her song rn its actually so good” so i did and YEA. ITS SO FUN?? AND THEATRICAL?? AND I LOVE THE MELODY?? like ok big mom go off
yea i already knew pudding was 16 bc i was all up in sanji’s business and reading about wci when i joined the fandom but I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT KYROS AND I WAS SO MAD WHEN THAT REVEAL HAPPENED!??!!? I WAS LIKE DAMN ODA HAS DONE THIS SHIT LIKE 3 TIMES NOW?? for the third one i count shirahoshi. even though she didnt have a love interest it was nasty for him to make a character so obviously meant to be so beautiful and sought-after and sexualized and then make her a teenager. plus vander decken . existed.
OOH YEA THEY JUST GOT SANJI BACK AND THEY’RE TALKING WITH BEGE ABOUT AN ALLIANCE RN. I PLAN TO READ MORE TONIGHT SO WE WILL SEE 👁️
“am i into mackenyu? no.. zoro? yeahs........” this is so real
U DREW TRANSFEM SANJI?? HAH?? HELLO?? HELLO MAY I SEE??
i have an art degree and tbh i support law and his human sculptures wholeheartedly. its very dada of him imo. but abstract art seems more up his alley. regardless i know some of my professors would have been like “live human sculpture…wow…that is so Art” very marina abromavic of him as well. but um yeah he should still go to therapy tho. yea
robin and law 🤝 “cool and collected” characters thinking fucked up weird animals are cute
i’ve moved like 9 times in my life this is just another day in the life [eyebags the size of dinner plates]
(looks at the other ask in my inbox) oh yeah…very soon
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omg. i started getting on the internet in single digits but to like. get on mylittlepony.com and play facebook games. i started being more “ONLINE” around probably 10 or 11 though and i made my tumblr account when i was 12 💀 i, too, sometimes see something old i posted and just go Oh God 
and i DEF had/have too much personal info online bc of that but i’ve tried to cut it down lately in the interest of ~ internet safety ~ . i dont use my first name online as much (hence going by mont in addition to the. trans-ness) and i took all my selfies off my blog. but who knows what else i put up and have forgotten about
RUMOKI TAKAHASHI I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU ‼️‼️ RUINING BEGRUDGING FATHER/ ADOPTED DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS FOREVER (jk i still love it but now im always just scared of. betrayal)
I LOVE VOCALOID!! i’ve been into vocaloid basically since i started being online (although i dont keep up with a lot of CURRENT vocaloid news so im like an old man who didnt keep up with the times. i love the original crypton 6 (miku, rin, len, meiko, kaito, luka) + gumi and gakupo but until a couple years ago i was like “What The Fuck is a Fukase” jbfvhjdn
i’ve caught up to date a little bit and still consider myself currently a vocaloid fan but yea im like a genwunner of vocaloid but just bc im lazy not bc im pretentious djsnkj
i actually saw kikuo (my fav vocaloid producer) in concert in january!! my first and only vocaloid concert…(but only bc he happened to be touring with bo en. no miku hologram for me)
ur like the third person ive met with aphantasia! and. yea its much easier in my head </3 why did i major in that shit </3 
WAIT REALLY?? THEY DONT DO SBS ANYMORE?? I LOVE SBS :( I ALSO HAVE SOME ONGOING QUESTIONS I WANT ANSWERED!! (that i want someone else to ask kjvfnkfn) i looked it up and didnt see much at a cursory glance aside from the fact that sbs happens every volume instead of chapter (?) who knows but i hope they didnt stop completely…
toei feel my wrath re: the racism. oda also feel my wrath re: the sexism. and the racism (why do you use the same skin color for everyone in the colorspreads…oda PLEASE) and the worst part about the nami clone thing is that we know he can draw women differently. have u seen how he drew young big mom. she was so hot. and yet he chooses NOT TO!!
FKJNKDLS WHY AM I WHATS NEW PUSSYCATTING ON YOUR FEED. WITH THE CANNIBALISM POST TOO. I POST SO MUCH GOOD CONTENT TUMBLR WTH </3 (LYING)
YEA I WAS ACTUALLY SURPRISED HOW WELL DONE THE IMPEL DOWN REPRESENTATION FELT?? THAT WHEN WE GOT TO KAMABAKKA I WAS LIKE why did we go…backwards…but they cant take the impel down newkama land away from me. that scene where iva makes a speech about gender and does a little performance made me feel so seen on screen even if oda meant for it to be tokenism or something. i think he thinks we (gay ppl) are cool but doesnt quite get it. like he saw gay ppl and went “this would work with my silly art style so well. transgenderism is a thrilling character trait” and then did not attempt to understand much after that KDCKJS
FUKABOSHI MY BELOVED actually all 3 of the fishman princes…when they cheered up shirahoshi during the scene where their mom was murdered i actually cried as they danced and sang through their own tears. like wtF. AND YEA ZORO ALMOST DROWNED SO MANY TIMES THAT ARC BUT HE WAS STILL COOL AND HOT 😔 the noah was also a cool concept!! you see the noah’s arc thing come up a lot in anime for some reason?? like my d gray man loving ass was like huh…okay two nickels…
ur so right about the sidelining (its like anyone that isnt the east blue 5) and especially about chopper. aside from being mascotified i wish he wasnt baby-fied too (which stems from the mascot problem). like…he’s 17. chopper is a full ass teenager, not a child. I GET that he’s a reindeer and also very naive but imagine how cool he could have been post timeskip…horn point chopper is my fav bc i just love the design but IMAGINE IF HE LOOKED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME!!
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and he could have so much more development in terms of constantly seeing his crewmates near death and always having to fix it…or just him improving as a doctor! i dont think we get to see chopper doctor enough but we also dont get to see him struggle! (m really just over here advocating for more depression and more hardship for chopper im so sorry king)
a lot of the running jokes i can still get behind (zoro getting lost will never not be funny to me idk how it hasnt gotten old but it hasnt okay) maybe bc its so harmless?? robin’s gruesome joke i agree, its not overdone so i still like it. mean nami slapstick i’ve never liked but can get a chuckle out of me every once in a while. brook panty joke L 👎brook skull jokes would be funny but they’re always too easy 👎 and yea sanji is the worst victim. i found it somewhat funny/endearing pre thriller bark when it was mostly harmless swooning and heart eyes but nowadays uhhh [beating him to death with hammers] 
u know what i see ur point on enies lobby. for water 7 it had great new characters and an AWESOME bright and beautiful water city setting but enies lobbies is. just a bunch of white government buildings on an island. the high point is definitely just robin’s moment. and kaku saying “I LOVE GIRAFFES. GIRAFFES ARE AWESOME” 
one piece brainrot is ruining me i have MUCH IDEA !!
OKAY LISTEN . I HAVE HEARD BOTH ROBIN HETEROCHROMIA AND SANJI HETEROCHROMIA AND LIKE. I DONT THINK EITHER ARE / COULD BE CANON BUT. robin heterochromia is so fun. and sanji heterochromia although for some reason i dont feel like it fits him HAS POTENTIAL bc imagine when he comes back post timeskip with his bangs covering the other eye now and the crew is like “🤨 wait i thought you had blue eyes?” ugh i need it. ive seen a LITTLE art and like 1 fic of heterochromia sanji and its very entertaining for sure i always eat it up even tho i dont necessarily headcanon it. i am so glad i have authority on this in ur mind btw. [clanging my sanji gavel] order in the court
i agree about usopp and conqueror’s haki! like damn we already got two of them with it dont we…although i saw someone on youtube somewhere suggest he could have “conquerer’s observation” ?? idk enough about haki to understand that but it sounds cool 👍 its not spoilery so dw! although that yt comment made me think like “if there’s multiple types of conqueror’s haki it it like..all based on one guy? one original conqueror ?? and who was it…” who knows…i mean i know zoro has conqueror’s haki bc of spoils but idk how or when that happens (wano, i assume. idk how i feel about that yet bc much as i love the green guy sometimes i feel like he’s favored a bit for the op stuff) and you made some really solid points about usopp’s character too!! part of me was like “damn sanji the only monster trio member not to have conqueror’s haki…” but he could not have it for. several of the same reasons u listed for usopp lmao AND THATS OK!! THOSE THINGS ARE REASONS I LIKE THEM BOTH 
“live action shanks is too hot” ok then explain this
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you know what. that is. a good question. why do they get so big btw. like humans come in all sizes but why. is it to do with the gravity of the planet cause its so huge and got so many moons…thats how i explain half of the unrealistic things in this show lmao. maybe they just stand. its more Intimidating™. sorry villains dont get to sit (although that makes me think about that time doffy was just sitting on the table in the middle of the warlord meeting?? did u see that post?? its a screenshot like why did they let him on the table like that. evil cat behavior from local bird man)
THATS A GOOD SCENE TO POINT OUT. YEA YEA YEA YUOU GET IT. i loooove the serious luffy moments. ive said it a million times but luffy is intelligence 5 wisdom 20. luffy is actually very selfish but in a way that i dont hate…he just wants to be free. and free others. and he lives so in the moment. he’s so different from so many people that he’s very fascinating as a character to watch, esp bc he DOES have moments like u mentioned that make him feel real and have boundaries. u know its funny bc luffy is like the most open accepting character that its hilarious how many times ive seen something oda has written/done and been like “luffy would never do this. the character u made up and continue to write would be more accepting than this.” like luffy is totally chill with women, doesnt see them as lesser, never even hints at this like even zoro does, luffy’s super chill about bon clay and the newkama, luffy doesnt discriminate based on characters’ races etc etc etc. and yet oda DOEs do all this its like. oda u have to see if bc u MAKE it so why cant U BE MORE LIKE THE GUY YOU MADE UP FDJVKND. i think the only moment i can think of that even vaguely implies luffy knows what a gender role is is when he’s in amazon lily and they put him in a frilly shirt and he’s like “i dont wanna wear this. this isnt my style at all” but its all about his OWN preferences and not about anyone else’s. u get me??
“cannibalism is sexy sometimes” u get it. u get it. u understand. we are kindred spirits rn. join me
and the end KJFNDKJEN ITS OKAY MARCH LET’S GO TO THERAPY TOGETHER 
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to end off here are some of my one piece headcanons (some of which probably will never be canon and im okay with that)
first off sanji is a repressed bisexual and u can tear this from my cold dead hands. post kamabakka he’s gnc too he just wont admit it bc hes a scared little baby bitch. ik it was anime only but that scene were he’s fighting in a dress and caroline keeps telling him to accept himself or some shit as a flower slowly blooms metaphorically in the in-between footage was transgender as hell. also that time someone sent a message to oda in sbs saying like “i’m so glad sanji is girl crazy and not boy crazy” an oda responded “uh, totally” …like is the translation just coming off sarcastic or am i reaching-
i think zoro is gay. he just gives me that vibe ok. 2nd choice he is aroace and luffy is like his qpp or somethin ok (i dont ship zolu but i can admit those bitches got a point bc MAN they really love each other. i like it much better as friendship tho) and on that note luffy is aroace too.
nami is a lesbian. im aware all 3 of these are the popular fandom hcs but idc. this one i have actual evidence for have u seen how she latches onto every woman in each arc. she’s just as bad as sanji she’s just more chill about it /hj
FRANKY IS STRAIGHT BUT HE’S A REALLY LOUD ALLY OKAY . HE’S JUST A COOL DUDE
contrary to fandom hc i think robin and usopp are probably straight. robin would make a very dignified lesbian or bisexual but i think she’s just a weirdgirl straight who’s being a supportive ally with franky. 
brook is probably straight but i think he was also simultaneously in love with yorki a little bit and doesnt talk about it bc yorki is gone now so its not like its gonna happen ever again. soul king “im straight but i had a boyfriend one time” brook
chopper is a reindeer
god what else do i have aside form sexuality headcanons. OH !! this isnt a headcanon but i have a running theory that many of the strawhats are based on classic characters from fiction/pop culture…i keep meaning to make a post about this but im busy
zoro is inspired by zorro. okay easy next
chopper is inspired by rudolph, obviously
usopp is inspired by pinocchio but I DONT SEE THIS ONE MENTIONED AS OFTEN: CYRANO DE BERGERAC!! down to the lying and the long nose and the crush on the rich girl out of his league!!
robin is inspired by matilda in my mind. weirdgirl with mind powers abused by her caregivers and obsessed with books…like okay oda just tell us u read roald dahl
i know sanji was inspired in looks by mr. pink in reservoir dogs but i havent seen that movie so i cant speak on anything else LMAO
i feel like its possible the others were inspired by more that i just am not aware of / might be japanese pop culture and therefore harder for western fans to spot…thoughts?
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cheese-water · 10 months
Note
This is going to be chronological order OG only chronicle o tweets on Twitter or x or whatever the heck is up w/ that.
It is set in 1900s ish july. It mentions a ‘She’ im assuming is a therapist of some sort. The writer most likely is mentally ill or something and is told to write thoughts down to help. 
Bro has trauma wtf when did this happen?? Glances, phrases, remarks, notes. Do not understand situation is better shown than told probably some type of trauma honestly. Family and dog: you know they are already fucking dead though, come on you know ain’t no way they survive this. Will not forget bad things bad things probably life changing is worst way possible or something.
J maybe therapist?? Then bizarre dream tf is up with this kids mind tho-?? AND IT MEANS CYCLE?? like timeloop cycle, history repeating cycle, which we talking about??
Oh yeah shitty manager. I’ve been analyzing these and I’ve read that at least 20 times. 20 times of a fictional character complaining about their fictional boss tf is my life?
Spoopi dream and oh hey same hall and doors each time and the other dream meant cycle that’s just lovely!1!!1 
The XXXX might be Mary and Mary might be the actual expert/therapist person? It implies Mary is the one who suggested person to write(?)
“Why can’t I be in control of everything” DAMN WRITER OK RELATABLE K THATS FINE OK also please throw the vcr out the window especially if it’s more than a 1 story building, please.
Happy birthday :DD ayyy fucked ver of happy birthday that’s cooool and we trust J :] oh yeah shit work place for like the 5th time dear god
ok therory also summarize things:
Writer(which is going to be referred to as 0), most likely (knowing Ranboo) is traumatized, and is getting some form of therapy. His therapist (I HOPE IS) Mary suggested he should write his thought down to help. At first 0 hated it, but overtime it did help a lot. A friend J told 0 to write is absolutely obscure dreams down. 0 does as 0 trusts J quite a bit even lets J read the journal entries. J is into supernatural and “crazy” things (same) and tells 0 that 0(bro idk pronouns im sorry) is reliving things that 0 might have repressed or something possibly trauma. 0 works at a very bad place with a horrible manager. 2 more spooky dreams later and oh, 0 still complaining about job. Creepy birthday song and wow I’m done with thing more than a month long project. this was so long and a lot of stuff was very cut down omg I’m tired I’m going to sleep buh bye
-☁︎🪷
P.S hi started school uh yeah hope your doing well :]
We love J for actually listening to 0’s dreams. They’re a real one fr. That being said, knowing Ranboo, I’m fully expecting J to be the one who traumatized and/or killed 0’s family in the end. Another Hetch situation y’know? Really though, what friend would look at your dream journal and say, "Oh yeah, that’s prolly some repressed trauma for you," like? I’ve had my fair share of strange dreams, but my immediate thoughts don’t go to deep-rooted trauma (I wouldn’t know it’s literally repressed, I guess?).
*intermission for me to read the tweets since I found a good twit front end on github a few weeks back B)*
Oh… oh no. Here we go again. If I had a nickel for every time Ranboo created a character who had to write their thoughts in a journal to cope with their repressed traumas and memory issues, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. No, but really, this post solidified it for me:
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The obvious is, "I dont think ill be forgetting those." Clearly, this is an important list of things to remember, and judging by the constant work reminders, Zero (I have to give them some sort of name) uses this journal as a way to help/cope with their forgetfulness and it’s been working so far.
What’s listed in the Good Things list is strange. Most notably the second one, "My dog." ???? My dog????? Who the hell in a supposedly personal journal doesn’t call their dog by their name? If it’s for the reader's sake, that doesn’t make sense either. It could’ve been a classic dog name (à la Spot, Rover, etc.) or, even better, have the name written after my dog: My dog Lola or My dog Winston. I may be overthinking this, but it’s such a strange detail to include with the introduction of Zero’s memory issues in the exact same post. Because all that implies is that Zero’s memory has already been degrading, with or without their knowledge.
Also, I'm not sure how or why we were even getting chronicle 0 in the first place. Is it like some sort of time paradox relating to Zero’s dreams? My best theory is that someone in 2023 (right now) found the journal and is literally chronicling/recording it online for others. This would explain the redacted words in the tweets, since they wouldn’t be if they were posted by Zero's thoughts themselves. And it gives new meaning to the random "?" posts. Maybe the page scanner couldn’t translate what was written down? Or was there nothing written there at all?
All I’m sure of is that whatever was on those "?" pages, those are the pages Jay has been writing on. Which quick aside, WTF JAY!? Why the hell are you writing in someone else’s therapy journal when you know they have memory problems? Who do you think Zero will assume wrote that down? Their nameless dog? NO ZERO MUST OF CAUSE ITS THEIRS. I don’t care if Zero trusts you because you're their childhood best friend or partner or whatever, but to me, you’re extremely misguided at best and suspicious and manipulative at worst. Anyway, assuming the "?" pages are Jay's, either their handwriting is less legible than Zero’s (or at least visually distinct enough that whoever’s tweeting these out can tell the difference from other pages or entries), or they’re some sort of drawing. Of what I’m not sure.
But back to the why: Someone found Zero’s journal and began posting pages of it because either they find it fascinating and unnerving (the reasonable solution) or (the flimsier, weirder solution) the account is the beginnings of an autobiographical journal-book about Zero if they actually did or experienced something notable in their future (for example, the style of Anne Frank’s journals). Imagine Showfall, or *insert Gen 0 capitalistic conglomerate here* publishing "The Story of Chronicle 0: How The Founder Found Their Way." It would be if Disney got ahold of Walt’s childhood diaries and sold them as a collector’s item. It’s so strange and wrong to do, but we all know it’d make bank. Plus, it feeds into the intrusive/changing perception theme from Gen 1 if Ranboo wants to continue that thread. Once again, grain of salt, spitballing, yadda yadda, this is getting interesting, and I haven’t even touched the dreams yet lmao.
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mcd-ms-rants · 3 years
Text
the s1 post as promised :)
here u go
STUFF I DIDNT LIKE IN MYSTREET S1:
• This is probably the only season where Aphmau does not act like a literal child so props for that
• Also I liked the ‘Don’t tell mom!’ episode cuz Ro’meave supremacy
• k I’m gonna stop telling the boring stuff here’s the actual start
• Ok so at this point mystreet was basically a sandbox roleplay of mcd characters in a modern day setting which is NOT A BAD THING but it did lead to a lot of mcd references, whether it was Garroth and Laurance changing into their mcd forms or Zane somehow brandishing his sword from thin air. Again, NOT A BAD THING but it did make it a bit weird especially after the whole ‘mcd and mys are related‘ plotline s4 onwards
• Dante should not have had a crush on Aphmau like no hate if you ship it but the way canon dealt with it he never stood a chance. once again no hate :)
• Aarmau was a bit rushed in my opinion, tho it isn’t so evident. but the fact that Aph just unquestioningly gets closer to Aaron doesn’t sit right with me. just like mcd s1 it feels like she’s just going off a script, which she technically is but it isn’t supposed to be that evident. I would’ve liked Aphmau to question her relationship, tell aaron that she needed time or to take it slowly. They couldve still gotten together at the end of the season with a much better narrative. I dont exactly focus on ships involving aphmau that much but even I can appreciate some well written slowburn. which this was not. let’s not get into the age gap in pdh THAT WAS NOT OK but I’ll elaborate on it in a separate post otherwise I’ll just keep ranting about it here
• Garrance literally kiss on screen and nothing happens?? I don’t exactly remember what happened after it cuz I haven’t rewatched in a while but I’m pretty sure that they just went back to normal :/ (correct me if I’m wrong tho!!) is this queerbait? can I call this queerbait?? can we not have queerbait please?
• IM SORRY WHAT WAS KC’S CHARACTER. She was so nice in mcd. she worked well as a side character and her writing was done well in my opinion. WHAT HAPPENED HERE. This girl is literally a walking aarmau advertisement. I get it you wanted to promote the main ship but at least don’t ruin her character for it. I don’t really like her mys version for this reason and I prefer to use my hc version (tho this goes for all characters) Please give this girl some actual character development. by the end of this season all we know about her is that her name is kawaii~chan, she likes pink, she loves ships, yay aarmau is sailing, don’t get in the way of kawaii~chan’s ship!! Name ANYTHING ELSE THAT WE KNOW ABOUT HER LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE
• I really don’t like how some potentially triggering and more serious themes were joked about here. You can make it a comedy show without making serious topics funny. Travis makes perverted comments that I feel really border on sexual harassment at times, Katelyn keeps punching Travis every time he speaks and if that isn’t anger issues idk what is, Garroth and Laurance literally stalk Aphmau multiple times when she’s out with Aaron and KC has a goddamn aarmau shrine in her basement. The first time I watched it, it slipped past me but the second time I really looked at it and said why do we need THIS to make a show funny. • The story of Zane becoming Aphmau‘s friend was literally him taking a cat version of her home on Christmas and tearing up when she (somehow??) gave him her sweater. what was he even going to do with a cat-sized sweater?? How was THAT the good deed that turned her back into a human?? How was it going to help him?? I get that magic exists in this world and this incident can definitely be a part of their friendship story...but don’t make it the ONLY part of their story. youre telling me that THIS is the reason he’s willing to turn himself into a relic in s6 amidst all the blood and death and chaos??
• STOP BABYING ZANE HE‘S A GROWN MAN. I HATE it when Aph keeps cooing at him in a baby voice, especially since I hc him as autistic. the way he’s written really makes me feel that he is autistic and this ruins it
• once it’s revealed that Zane likes mlh, most of his screen time is just focused on that. He has other aspects of his character too which are never really shown and this makes him so one-dimensional which is ironically the same problem his MCD counterpart had. GIVE HIM DEVELOPMENT PLS
• Lucinda is like the ONLY character who has their shit together. good for you girl <3
• WHERE DID JEFFORY GO?? I really liked his character and we never see him after s1...in fact we barely see him IN s1. he keeps zooming in and out and then he just...stays out forever. for the record, WHERE DID BRENDAN GO?? He was like in three episodes and then he just dipped MORE MINOR CHARACTER REPRESENTATION PLS
• MORE VYLAD PLS. I get it he’s traveling the world but Aphmau is literally god so don’t say that it’s not doable
• Showing Katelyn actually recognizing her anger issues would’ve been great, and maybe joining therapy or taking a group lesson or even doing meditation would’ve been such a great development to her character and would’ve paved the way for much healthier interactions in s2. she would not have been able to fix them completely since these things don’t just go away in one day, so the s2 talk between her and Travis would still happen but it would better in my opinion (and I’ll elaborate more on this when I do a rant for s2)
• Can we have more nb and lgbtq+ representation in general?? this point is gonna be in every rant I make istg it needs to be said.
ya umm this is all that I can think of rn
thanks to everyone who follows me and even those who liked and reblogged my posts!! Your support means the world to me <3 <3 <3
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youranxiousnerd · 3 years
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The Field Trip Thoughts
Because there is a lot of them
Spoilers for HSMTMS Below
First off, Gina and Ej are adorable. I don’t ship Portwell romantically but I adore their friendship
I’m sorry Ej is the president of the AV club?!?!?! He’s been a part of the club for, what, like two weeks? Go big or go home I guess
I love Nini’s outfit
RICKY USE YOUR EYES!!!
i see that a common theme this season is Ricky not being able to see what is right in front of him. 
I know Ricky is going through stuff. I’m a firm supporter of the Ricky needs therapy campaign. 
Gp better be Ej’s contact name for Gina or I will riot
“Are you announcing the fall musical, I vote Dear Evan Hansen.” 
two evans and possibly a third #joeserafiniforevan
YA KOURT IS STILL ON COSTUME CREW WE STAN AN ACTOR/TECHIE
“SPEECH SPEECH”
i love dara’s laugh
“Can you not keep your phone on silent in rehearsal like everyone else?” “’Sorry, everyone’, is what Carlos would say if he were more like me.”
I smell tension. They seem kind of tense this episode. I don’t know where it came from, there wasn’t really any build up bc thats how seblos rolls. Like they were completely fine last episode. Maybe Seb is just fed up or something happened off screen?
im just happy we’re getting seblos content lmao
“Terrible line” 
“Oh my god is your phone hungry i don’t understand.”
In the “previously on HSMTMTS” segment in episode 5, Carlos mentioned he was slightly scared to be on stage. he seems so effing stressed and irritated this episode more than usual. Carlos for the love of god talk to your boyfriend and eat a snickers.
I think the North High stuff has gone to his head. 
GAHH SEB’S COSTUME
okay carlos honey i love you but how can do you know north high stole your beast mask because a bit of fur is sticking out of a trunk. they have fur too. 
guys look around the room first it could have fallen but nOoOo you assume they committed a felony right off the back.
“Let it go” the kids of east high did not in fact let it go.
I AM DIANE AND I LOVE NORTH HIGH
yes, bring the loudest kids in the school to go steal something, thats an excellent idea.
and bring the kid who cant lie for sh!t im talking about you seb
RICHARD BOWEN YOU DO NOT SCREAM YOUR SCHOOL NAME IN THE ENEMY SCHOOL WTF
Carlos looks so done with everyone I feel you man, i feel you
north high looks more like pottery barn than an actual high school. Seriously, who or what is funding this place?
Miss Jenn: tells the kids to let it go and not go steal the mask. 
Also Miss Jenn: goes to north high
GET AWAY FROM GINA YOU MFER
ej is wearing the gayest shirt in history how does that north high boy believe they’re dating
nice save, ej. 
the faking dating was one of the best scenes of the episode. 
AWWW EJ 
im so happy gina is finally getting the attention she deserves. like i said earlier, i dont ship portwell but gina needs friends and ashlyn and ej are some pretty good friends. they have her back and that’s what i think gina needs.
LILY IS EVIL BUT SHE LOOKS GOOD DOING IT
kourtney darling lower your voice youre on a heist not shopping for shoes
nini you have done nothing for this heist why are you here? 
for the record, i don’t hate nini, but shes probably one of my least favorite characters. i liked her in episode 6 and season 1 tho.
the main kids all share one braincell they didn’t check the box where they originally thought the mask was.
“I want one”
Wow, you guys got caught. Between the Wildcats, loud voices, and large crew I would have never guessed.
SEB’S FACE WHEN NORTH FINDS THEM IM DYING.
The aggressiveness of Antoine’s french is killing me. 
zacky roy what are you doing?
LILY AND THE FLASHLIGHT
carlos getting fired up
“fugly” dramatic gasp
“Oh yeah, what if we bop to the top” I HAVE WAITED 17 EPISODES FOR MEAN/AGGRESSIVE/ANGRY SEB IT WAS WORTH IT
GO OFFF SEBBY
carlos’ “honey calm tf down” face
“honey no” “honey yes”
East High is confused by a dance off (so am i) but then preform a musical number to save their teacher from getting fired complete with original a original song and dance 
“That’s weird even for me”
LILY DONT YOU EFFING DARE INSULT ASHLYN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF
“She’s better than this” Next scene is Miss. Jenn dancing with the enemy
Around you is my least favorite song of the season. That being said, the singing is good
RICKY LOOK THE OTHER WAY
“Tom Holland on stilts” 
“That man is ridiculous and you should dump him and date me” ANTOINE THAT IS A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY BUT ITS SO FUNNY
i love antoine
dj antoine in the house!
“I knew you all didn’t like the Mob Song”
“What kind of budget” THANK YOU KOURTNEY
nini straight up said “see ya”
how is no one questioning why someone is in costume? didn’t lily say no costumes?
also how is howie beast playing guitar with those gloves?
YAY KOURTNEY
ANDREW BARTH FELDMAN EVERYONE
seb really said “go get em babe”
CARLOS POP OFF
i love how frankie was singing in his lower range or it was just autotune
ASHLYN I LOVE YOU YASSSSS
nice save, antoine. do i ship? idk, but it was cute.
mob song was good. the solos were pretty good as well as the dancing but the background track...not my style. it was enjoyable tho.
SALTY BIG RED
“No, Nini’s Rose Song.”
im so glad they addressed why the rose song cant be used. its a really good song and olivia sings it perfectly but it doesn’t make sense for the plot and you cant alter text.
“Ej you had one job”
nini really likes leaving
Zack you are an adult it is high school theater not the World Series
“it’s just a song, ricky” I think you kinda, ya know wasn’t “just a song”. Out of the Old wasn’t “just a song”. All I want wasn’t “just a song”. How is Rose Song any different?
gina and ej goofing off is awesome
seb and carlos being the theater dads watching over their children
ope- howie turn your phone off
carlos and seb really said “bye, have fun” THEY BOLTED
ummm...yeah
you can see how much howie regretted in that moment
“I’m Nina” ooo interesting is she going to go by Nina now?
Overall, I really enjoyed the episode. The stakes are high and I’m glad the other relationships are getting screen time. The balance was good this week, I wish it was like this every week. My only issue is how underdeveloped the plot was this episode, but beside that it was pretty good.
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Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!
Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever
ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)
on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun
Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way
All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho
Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually
Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices
Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated
Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.
Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them
Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant
Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor
Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for
Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit
Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺
Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo
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sanchoyo · 3 years
Text
danny phantom 8-13 thoughts! again, under the cut bc I blew through 6 episodes in one go...
-LOVE THE WAY THE GHOST ZONE LOOKS. but theres fucking ghost cops??? ghost jail??? that SUCKS imagine dying and going to jail in your AFTERLIFE. danny going to JAIL WAS NOT something I expected. but seeing all the enemies together and work with danny to bust out. SO ICONIC I love that actually. and the thing about real world stuff acting as ghosts in the ghost zone is very cool.
-'there are some things more important that hunting ghosts!' mrs fenton says, about her husband forgetting their anaversary (FOR THE 18TH YEAR IN A ROW?? CHRIST) and not about, idk, their son clearly freaked out. she didnt even notice he was gone into the ghost zone!!! he might be a bad husband BUT shes not the best mom. they suck and I don't care about their relationship problems I care about these kids. danny doing his best to clean the house to keep his mom from getting mad at his dad?? hes such a good boy I want to cry, this is not his place, his dad should be cleaning his own shit up!!!
-maddie's butch lesbian sister is living my best life in her lil cabin. also being a snarky bitch to jack. queen. and her getting a 10th anniversary of her divorce. LOVE IT.
-mr. lancer being a cheerleader in his younger years makes perfect sense to me. king shit.
-dr. spectra's cat ears/mullet hairstyle?? sooo cute. I also just love the concept of a ghost just. sucking out people's positivity and feeding on emotions. a great villain. she put danny in a fucking diaper what the FUCK. and keeping it cold so no one would suspect shes a ghost??? INCREDIBLE. and her gay little blob sidekick. wlw mlm evil solidarity.
-JAZZ FOCUSED EP. YEAAAH!!! her first thought when she saw the ghosts was like 'omg i gotta tell danny :)' and her going to the teacher and also councilor trying to get help for him...shes just 16 but shes trying so hard to help him out :( watching this when youre younger I can imagine ppl are like omg annoying!! but watching this when im older im just like :( jazz baby im SO sorry </3 SHE BODIED THAT GHOST THOUGH. and the fact she didnt tell danny she knew surprised me. like, shes patient and waiting on him to tell her when hes ready!! thats so so sweet.
-christ the parents talking about 'PEELING IT LIKE AN ONION. AND EXAMINING REMAINS' of ghosts RIGHT INFRONT OF DANNY.
-'why am i so depressed and angry all the time!!' DANNY YOURE 14. i mean it IS a ghost this time, but...
-579$ top?? VALERIE NO ITS NOT EVEN CUTE IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THAT OUTFIT AAAA. tho this ep is called shades of gray..VALERIE FOCUSED EP FINALLY????! *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE* I already knew about red huntress from my redesigns, but I didn't exactly know what that entails or how/why, so, it's fun to see the Origins.
-ghost pubby! ghost pubby!!!!! why is the dog a ghost?? the implication that the company had guard dogs and got rid of them...what did they DO. is it just the unfinished business?? of not having that toy it was looking for?? god I hope so.
I feel SOOO bad for valerie tho, my god. her friends are shunning her for what, because her dad lost her job and she had to move??? horrible. (and the fact the dog wrecked the moving van too...) I also love how 'from wisconsin' on the package was an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG FOR ME. WISCONSIN=EVIL NOW. vlads so petty.
-it took valerie like 5 mins to get the hang of hunting ghosts and shes already a much bigger threat than his parents tbh. who've been trying and studying this for years. and a more valid reason <3 love her shes so cute and cool. new daughter alert.
-'i should do SOMETHING to help valerie' no shit danny???
-'who is that, awesome outfit!' -top gay sam moments. i was going to say. before it immediately cuts to sam kissing danny LMFAOOO. don't think I like that, it puts tucker in a weird third wheel position... the next ep involves them holding hands and blushing when danny's cold...URGH No. not a fan ngl. the trope of 'if theres a girl in a trio she has to end up with one of the two guys!!'
-right as I say that they take it to extremes!! and ember shoots him with a love ray gun that makes him OBSESSIVE OVER SAM. AND SHE TAKES HIS HANDS AND SAYS 'YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME, I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU' and her saying she doesnt want to be together like this. and tucker saying 'i always knew you two would get together!!' dont manifest it tucker please. the show pushing for it so hard makes me not want it KSHKJKJD I KNOW its probably canon. it sucks though. im a hater.
-vlad just LURKING AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING VALERIE GIFTS ASJKDHKJ YOU WEIRD PETTY OLD MAN GO HOME!!!
-EMBERRRRR YOU WILL REMEMBERRRRRR . this is the one thing I kinda remember from when I was a kid EMBERRRRR ilu. top 10 cartoon bops. sams being a hater. popular things are popular for a reason. mr. lancer also being a hater. also everyone wearing her color scheme ..its a really good look, the purple, black, and minty color...
-penguins exist in the ghost zone. confirmed.
-EMBER JUST SHOWING UP AT A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL TO PLAY?? UNANNOUNCED, MID DAY??? girl get a tour schedule. make some money or smth damn. I know shes probably doing it for the power boost but. lord. anyway if your show doesnt have a concert scene/ep, is it even valid.
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-fellas is this gay. (she uses a GRAPPLING HOOK TO SHOOT OUT THE WINDOW AFTER SEEING AN EMBER VAN GO BY RIGHT AFTER THIS SHOT)
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-hey, she had an undercut at some point!! my redesign!!! was accurate!! in..a way
-I feel like danny has a lot of pent up aggression ngl, him being heartbroken about sam and immediately going IM GONNA GO TAKE IT OUT ON EMBER. I mean she needs to be stopped I guess But. jazz has the right idea he needs therapy and a HEALTHY outlet.
-tucker singing > my singing
-girls cant be gamers -tucker and danny sexist moments. her being chaos in the game OWNED.
-TUCKERS HAT IS A BERET??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEANIE. SAM CALLED IT A BERET. WH.
-it was actually nice of lancer to let danny retake the test, and he go to play games again. smh. epic cringe gamer moments compilation. and driving him home!!! I actually like him as a character. anyway teachers like lancer are SO appreciated. I was failing middle school because of mental problems, and felt so dumb and got embarrassed by teachers who would just get onto me instead of bothering to ask what the real problem was, but when I was taking my ged classes I had a wonderful teacher who kept reassuring me that I was smart, and I got honors!! danny is SUCH a little shit to him (understandable, 14, but) but seeing them getting along better and danny putting in effort. SO CUTE. THATS MY SON, STUDYING HARD!!!! and being so PROUD OF HIMSELF!!! 91!!! BITCH!!! A- is STILL AN A!!!
-'why dont they ever realize thats me in a dress' mr lancer i am CRYING. i realized.
-technus being my ghost grandpa who cant game asking tucker for help. bless his heart. his out of date old ppl lingo circles back to being endearing <3 tucker not recognizing him despite the like, lack of any kind of serious disguise...I do love their lil in-game outfits....sam being the tank rules. I like technus' spider design also. more characters need to be giant freaky spiders, imo.
-finding your gf a new host because she cant maintain her ghost body outside the zone? amazing. using jazz as the host? ILL KILL YOU. jazz immediately accepting a ride home from a guy she just met and letting him know where she lives. letting him IN THE HOUSE??? nooo girl no lets use common sense </3
-sooo cringe the parents were like 'good job for spying on your sister' tho wtffff. doesnt matter if hes a bad guy, thats fucked. everytime these parents BREATHE im like. these are MY kids now <3
-BAD LUCK BEING A THEME OF THE 13TH EPISODE. thats super fun. johnny 13 being his name is so. iconic. your last name is a NUMBER? also goth tucker. I actually love the look. everyone looks good goth. 'the ladies love the eyeliner and onyx nail polish' sam you are sooo right every man needs to at least try those two things. im a lesbian and I agree. same, danny, your bff is gnc af
-LOVE kitty's design. and just, the concept of a ghost with a bike. couple goals, except yes stay away from jazz.
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dahniwitchoflight · 3 years
Text
Homesquared Chapter 14 part b
Alright time for more reactions to Homesqaured- oh jeezus
the last one of these I did was from october last year, hoo boy alright brain time to get back on the time train things are happening fast
we last left off with me thinking they just fucking hilled Harry but I remembered the wrong house so Harrys fine, John not so much
Yeah, John sad but ooh Karkat shows up!
They seem to have a mutual conversation about lost youth and stuff, really makes these characters feel oold
“JOHN: jeez, i'm sorry karkat.
JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed.
JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.“
Oh man, John thats a whole ass MOOD
lol at sburb allocated blow job
yeah Karkats right tho, John does kind of need a kick in the pants to see how he might have been useful here, but Johns still stuck in this rut of not seeing anything around him as Real real, so hes blind to all of the consequences of inaction
John its called derealization and depersonalization, you can get help for that yknow
But I mean, cant really blame him, hes being smothered by the fires of Doom all around him
Its interesting to see that Karkat, a Blood player, is more comfortable navigating through things that constrain them and tie them down, since constraint is something Blood and Doom have in common, Chains and Barriers and Laws and etc
Whereas John the Breath player, just gets bogged down, hes totally out of his element
so it ends up being like John: “Id like to cling to some funny moments of my youth pls and try to lighten the situation up a bit because I cant do anything when so heavy”
versus Karkat being like: “BUCKLE UP FUCK TITS THIS SHIT IS YOUR LIFE NOW GETS USED TO WADING KNEE DEEP IN THE SHIT LIKE THE REST OF US GROWN ASS ADULTS”
John: ):
Hmm, both Vriskas have been captured, but Annie basically rescued herself, knowing Vriska Prime she probably has a plan or an idea about that, see well see how that goes
“KARKAT: JANE'S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN.
KARKAT: IT'S BIZARRE.
KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.KARKAT: IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I'D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.
Oh. Well I guess that was Dirk’s “plans” for Jane all along. Obviously he was using Jane as a vehicle to gather “players” for his eventually next session, interesting
But who has Jane kidnapped in total thus far?
Does Tavros count? he was certainly trapped with her for some amount of his life, but I dont know if that counts as a kidnapping, John certainly tried to kidnap HIM though from the epilogues
Annie certainly counts as being kidnapped
Vrissy has JUST been captured so that counts, and Harry so far is still fine
Which bodes so well for Harry’s future Im sure
Yeah, Vriska should have been able to not outwit any capture attempts, but my guess is either Vrissy got capture and Vriska dove in, OR, Vriska’s doing an inside job so to speak and got caught on purpose, dragging Vrissy along as well
I guess we’ll see when we see their “prison”
Anyway John, don’t get so down on yourself, you’re just ignorant to everythiong around you! thats why nothing makes sense and you can’t connect to anything, easy fix! Just try to learn more and care more about stuff lol
Man does this feel like a strong metaphor between people who are into/care about politics and people who feel like they can’t get into it though
Crossing that hurdle from one side to the other is rough
“KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.”
yup
man, this is all feeling startlingly relevant to the current times, I should have read this sooner
“ KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT. “
hah, oh wow, Karkat when you phrase it like that, it’s almost as if you’ve become self aware of your tendencies to Moirail people out of their problems
Not really that out of character for a Blood player to end up being the Therapy Friend though lol
Just don’t burn yourself out on that though
JOHN: karkat, we still haven't spoken about *you*!
KARKAT: ABOUT ME?
JOHN: yes.
KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*?
JOHN: about you.
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME.
JOHN: well...
JOHN: you know, how you feel!
KARKAT: HOW I FEEL.
I know Karkat has probably matured past misunderstandings like this now given he’s really come into a great understanding of his Blood aspect, but by golly do I wish Karkat would misunderstand this as John’s attempts to be Moirail-reciprocal sdkjfhwlijebr
What a perfect way to continue their relationship, on top of more misconstrued romance quadrants XD
Spades is old Hat, Diamonds are in now babey
Oh
this started out funny, but Karkat’s emotional rant just ended up being depressing not funny ):
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I have to say though, it is REALLY interesting to see John’s depression manifesting in a very breathy sort of way
Karkat in these panels was more closer together, connected, but as John gets more and more depressed over the course of Karkat’s rant when he realizes Karkat doesn’t know dave died, the panels get seperated by lines of blue, and slowly drift off away from John and from eachother
but thats basically been hows its been manifesting all along
the more John feels Disconnected and Seperate from the reality he finds himself in, the more he finds his will untethered, the more depressed and unable to act he gets
and right now its so much so that even a fuller fledged Blood player is having trouble grounding him back down
I don’t know, I always viewed the depression metaphor as a dark watery void to sink into and feels heavy and encapsulating (but probably thats just my Light-y interpretation of it)
so its interesting to see the depression metaphor as this floating disconnection instead, so much that it leans towards derelaization/depersonalistion/dissociation as well
I wonder if John will start dealing with bouts of actual full blown dissociation as this gets worse?
I mean, Breath aspect has given the literal ability to ghost around wherever he pleases in all other ways, why not literally and physcologically as well?
So John seems to be fully overembracing his aspect here, to a very unhealthy degree here, which I see you asking “aha Dahni, but hes doesn’t have overblown self esteem here, quite the opposite, is this not an inverted state instead? or something else because hes acting like hes inverting to Breath?”
and I say not so! reader, for overembracing is the idea that through your aspect, your will is overwriting the wills of others, and in someone like Vriska, this manifests in a very selfish and over self esteemed way
but is not John’s will overwriting Karkat’s here? Through Breath? And isnt John also being a little selfish here? Considering how he feels about things, more important than how anyone else feels? How Karkat feels?
John is too dissociated to understand that this reality is Real and has Consequences he needs to care about, and Karkat is trying to fight against that, trying to instill his belief that no, this shit is real and it Matters Why Don’t You Care, trying to ground him, trying to give him that dose of Blood he needs
but John’s overembracing Breath is just, blowing that all away, its becoming too strong
Roxy in the epilogues dealt with this as well, when John was really in the shits with it and started to believe Roxy’s whole personality was somehow fake and his own construction, because he convinced himself Roxy would never choose to do the things she did, but Roxy was able to snap him out of it and make him understand and respect it was her own choices that led down his path, not the idea that John’s choices are somehow overriding everyones
But man, John sure is riding that Breath train way too hard, and he keeps snapping back into it as well
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Further and Further
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'Family support's just so wholesome, i can't! Your writing's great 💙 i have a request (tho it's more than fine if you're not taking them/ don't feel like doing this one): bau!reader losing a loved one, not telling anyone and throwing themselves into work but masking it up pretty well so no one notices how broken they are until after a though case reader falls asleep on the jet and has a nightmare, reid puts 2 & 2 together and comforts them.. idk just feeling a bit moody today, hope u r fine 😊
Hold you in my arms
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A/N: hey! I'm glad you enjoyed family support! Im glad you also enjoy my writing thank you so much! im sorry I took forever to write this one up! Hopefully its what you wanted. I did kinda rush the case so we could have Spencer and reader content, so sorry if it is rushed and bad. hope you enjoy this one!
TW: family member going through cancer.
things to know: the italics in the beginning are going through the death of the brother, and near the end is the dream. regular font is what happened or is happening how ever you want to put it.
You were a really private person, for the most part, but with your team, they knew mostly everything about you. Which knowing them for years was okay with you. As long as they didn’t know any more details you were fine with that. Your family meant everything to you and you wanted them safe. You never wanted to be the reason they were tortured or even killed.
However some things that caused death weren't your fault completely. Your brother was getting near to death. He’s been fighting leukemia since he was 15 and recently it's been getting worse. You stayed with him the days you didn’t work or didn’t get called in. Lucky the last few days you had with him you only had paperwork to finish.
The team noticed how fast you would complete them and how detailed and well written they were so they thought nothing of it. Spencer though he noticed despair and worry, but he didn’t say anything since you two were only friends and if you had something to tell him you would reach out.
“Is she okay?” Prentiss asked as the team shrugged. “Yeah Spence is she alright seems like something is up?” Rossi said as Spencer shrugged not knowing what was wrong with his best friend and “secret” crush. “She hasn’t said anything or talked to me, she’ll probably talk when she’s ready” he said as that left the team with that and spending their own free time the way they do.
You would walk into the hospital with two thoughts in your mind. “He’s alright he’s okay, he’s fighting” or “it’s too late you work too much and now he’s gone” and when you would enter the room relief was hit and you saw him eating or watching tv.  
You two would talk and spend time with one another, but he would beg you to go back to work and not worry. “Matt, no I'm staying until they call alright? You said as he held your hand. “Please go back to work I’m fine, I know you’ll make it in time once my monitor goes crazy” he said as you glared at him. “Don’t say that, I’m staying.” You said as he gave you the look your mother gave you. “Ugh fine I’ll go, but you need to call me if anything happens.
Like that you would go back to work and finish even more paperwork. Like nothing was wrong. You were sad inside but you didn’t show. You were strong, well you had to be, your brother was told he was gonna live for 2 months and he just passed his 1 month, this scared you. You couldn’t lose him now. He was your other half considering how young he was. Why do good people die young and terribly?
When that day came, you were called by your mom. You were home so you quickly left your home not even worrying if you left something on, your main focus was your brother. Seeing him alive when you go there.
Once you got to the hospital you arrived and saw them resuscitate him. They gave you a look that said, he wasn’t gonna make it and you needed to say goodbye. Your parents were sitting in chairs while you held your brother in your arms like the first time you met him. He was just your little baby brother and you knew he was gonna do great things.
Memories of you and him passed through your brain like one of those movies. The good and the bad. As the monitor went flat he was gone, your baby brother was gone. Tears just flushed through your eyes not caring if some got onto him. All you could do was hug him and let him rest the way he wanted to. In your arms.
“It’s okay, it’s time for you to rest.” You said as you kissed his head and held on for a while longer.
That was the last time you saw him. You currently got back from the funeral, and you changed so the team didn’t notice anything. As you walked over to your desk you got a new picture frame out with a picture of you and your brother when you were 10 and he was about 3. You smiled at the way your brother smiled.
“Y/n” someone said. “Y/n? You alright?” Spencer said as you looked at him. “Yeah Spence sorry I was just thinking. What’s up?” You asked as he smiled. “Well we have a case, so let’s go?” He said as you smiled back and headed to the conference room.
The case introduced was about an unsub killing young 20 year old males. Most of them were either in college or working for their families. They were good people but they were just killed for no reason. Which made you think of Matt. What if….no stop it.
As you debriefed the case you were headed to New Orleans. As you got your go bag you were met by spencer who was waiting for you per usual, spencer noticed something stopped you. “y/n? You okay?” he asked as he startled you and you blinked many times not knowing he was there. “Yeah im okay, uh just thinking.” you said as he hummed. “Alright..oh is that a new picture?” he asked as he grabbed the new frame with your picture. “Actually it's an old one, i just thought i could have another picture you know.” you said as he nodded. “Yeah, i do, is this your brother?” he asked as you nodded. “Yeah i was 10 and he was about 3 years old in that photo, it was the first day of school for the both of us, he was going to preschool and i was going into the fourth grade” you said as he noticed your sincere smile. “Is he doing okay?” he asked as your heart stopped, but you knew you had to lie, you didn't want to bother him. “He's fine, going into his fourth year of college,” you said as he nodded, but he read through your lie, you thought your heart stopped internally, but your whole body shifted and he knew something happened. you then were interrupted by a hotch. “Guys we should get going, seems like they need us earlier than i thought.” he said as you nodded heading over to the jet.
As you read through the file you were still thinking about Matt, you knew he wanted you to work instead of grieving for him, and you were gonna do that until it was gonna finally break you. You just kept thinking about getting privacy to let the tears to come out.
As you landed, you had to talk to the family of the recent victim. As you got there you saw them break down, not only did you lose someone, they did too. As if your instincts were nagging at you, you walked in to talk to the family, understanding completely what they were going through.
After talking to the parents, they told you Jerry was sick. He had been going through some type of chemotherapy and he didn't go to his last one days before getting kidnapped. That was weird, maybe the unsub knew who they were. But you didn't really know how to back that up with so you called garcia.
“Hello my beautiful princess, how may i serve you today?” she asked as you smiled. “God pen, never change,” you said as she hummed. “Not in any world my love.” she said as you looked down at your file. “Hey can you see if any of our victims was going through some type of therapy, like chemo?” you asked as she typed away and you waited.
Maybe this was some type of coincidence, like god was giving you a chance to save someone, after losing someone.
“Woah, uhh, our first victim, David, had thyroid cancer, and our other two victim, had leukemia. How does this connect?” she asked as you sighed. “Our latest victim had some type of cancer and was going through, chemotherapy.” you said as she sighed. “God why would someone kill someone who is going through a hard time?” she said as you sighed as well. “I don't know love, that's what I'm gonna figure out.” you said as she hung up leaving you to tell the team. You walked over to where everyone was standing and they seemed to pay attention before you began to talk.
“So all of our victims went through some type of sickness that involved them to get chemotherapy, what if our unsub is going through that and by killing them they are taking their place by getting some chemotherapy.” you said as they all shuffled looking through.
“That could explain why they didn't have certain belongings with them. And could explain why some didn't have their id.” Morgan said as you nodded. “Alright well call garcia to widen her search, good job y/n” hotch said as you nodded. “And this person might be working near any of the hospitals, our victims went to.” you said as they all nodded and you were getting ready to deliver the profile.
While this happened you got a call from your mother. You quickly picked it up leaving the room. “I'm sorry I have to take this.” you said as hotch nodded and you went into a hallway.
“Hey mom? Everything okay?” you asked as she hummed  “i am, its just i really hate to bother you, but i can afford the funeral i only paid half of it... And i don't wanna ask you for money-” she said, stumbling over her words as you cut her off. “Mom hey, dont worry about that, let me give you my credit card information all right? Tell them to send me the bill to my apartment. You don't have to worry about it alright?” you said as she sighed and sobbed. “Okay, im sorry...its just i saved up money for college but it wasn't enough and i know you do-” she said as you cut her off again. “Mom don't worry about it. I had some money saved up for him too in case he needed something. It's fine mom.” you said as you kept reassuring her. You then met the team again as they had a lead.
“Hey sorry it was my mom.” you said as they found a guy who lost his family because his wife had left him for his best friend, he was then told he had lung cancer and didn't have insurance or enough money to pay for his treatment. He was recently seen at the same hospital all the victims were at, and that meant he was getting ready for his next victim. He also worked as a janitor at the hospitals, which explained how he got the information from them.
You and Reid were sent to his house as the rest of the team was sent to the hospital. As you got there you noticed the lights were on. “You check the front while i check the back.” he said as you nodded. You had a police officer behind you as you cleared the house. Everything seemed clear, but the odd things was why were the lights on. He probably left in a rush.
You both checked everything as found and he had schedules of the patients. He also worked in many hospitals which explained how he met the other two victims. Reid called hotch and gave him the address to the hospital next on the list. It was most likely he was just living here because you didn't find any bodies in the house, but you still searched outside his house.
You were walking around the back as you noticed humps in the ground...oh no. “reid! I think i've got bodies” you said as reid came along with a dog and they were sniffing and barking. “Yeah he definitely killed them here. Morgan and prentiss just found a shack a couple miles away from here and all their clothes and stuff are. Where is he though?” he said as you nodded.
You ended up finding him in the hospital reid found next on the list. They ended up getting the guy and taking him to the station. He was in the interrogation room and hotch let you take him. Reid was with you and you just stared at the unsub.
“You ready?” he asked as you nodded. He walked over to the door entering the room as the unsub looked at both of you as you sat down. “So uh mark? Right?” reid said as the unsub nodded. “Yeah, can you tell me why I'm here?” he said as you looked at Reid and he let you take the lead. “Well mark, your property is filled with missing people who were filled missing, you know, because their family cares about them. Why did you kill them?” you asked as he scoffed. “Please my family cares about me.” he said as you glared at him.
“Really mark, they do? Then why aren't they here? We know your wife left you for your best friend and he matched all the victims appearances. You killed innocent boys who were just starting their life. You're just mad that their lives were settled and not yours.” you said as the unsub felt uncomfortable that you knew all that.
“Mark, we know you killed them because you were eventually gonna kill your own friend.” reid said as he just shook his head as if he was going crazy.
You two were just throwing the truth at him as he exploded.
“I had to do it! They were gonna ruin someone else’s life too! I couldn't let them go through that.” he said as you too got your confession, not that you needed it.
“Look mark, we didn't need this but we got what we need and i hope you get what you deserve.” you said as he yelled, “you don't even know what they felt. Why do you care so much!” he said as you stopped in your tracks and turned around. “You know what i do, i know what it's like to lose someone, they were already suffering so much, and you ruined it more for them. They had more time, but you didn't care. If you really care, family is important, and losing one is even worse, especially from sickness. Knowing that i couldn't do anything hurts. You're the one who doesn't know. You only know what it felt like to kill them knowing you were gonna live and they were gonna die.” you said leaving as reid and everyone behind that mirror just heard what you said.
As you got back on the jet, you were so tired you fell asleep right away. You were just so tired you didn't know what to do.
You were running through the unsubs home and noticed a body that looked familiar. It was matt. You quickly ran over to him and saw his face. He was already dead. You then were tied up seeing the unsub shoot him over and over. “NO! Matt, no! You had more time! Why!” you said.
“You had more time….why did you kill him…” you mumbled as you were moving around a lot and crying. Reid noticed and he quickly put his book down as he shook you up. “y/n...hey it's just a dream...y/n'' he said as you woke up with tears falling out of your eyes. “Im sorry, sorry.” you said as you wiped your own tears away. You sat there in complete silence. You were comfortable so it wasn't awkward.
You then saw the way Reid looked at you, which was the look that told you he knew what was wrong. You sighed in defeat as you asked him. “How do you know?” you asked as he half smiled. “Well today when you mentioned Matt, your mood changed, and I knew something was wrong, and you also wanted to comfort the victims family. You seemed like you knew what they were going through. And when you told us about the victims being sick, you seemed really sad for them more than a regular person would be and when you talked about losing family, I knew something was up.” he said as you nodded. “So you profiled me huh?” you said as he nodded and gave you a sincere smile
He was waiting, but he spoke first. “y/n i'm here for you, just know that, even if you feel alone i'm here for you always.” he said as you nodded.
He was about to get up as you spoke. “Matt died...two days ago...and the funeral was today, and i'm not okay.” you said as your tears fell out. Spencer held you as he wiped your tears away. “I'm so sorry, y/n.” he said as you shook your head. “spence its fine.” you said as he nodded, but he knew it wasn't fine. “Its just...when he died, i held him in my hands. I was there when it happened.” you said as he felt very sorry that you had to go through that.
“Im so sorry. Here come here.” he said as he opened his arms so he could hold you. You were thankful for Spencer, he was always there for you and you were glad he was there for you for this. It made being able to grieve much easier.
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cassyapper · 3 years
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daydreaming about that date avdol and polnareff couldve gone on. like i image it would happen In the hospital in cairo while avdol heals/is learning how to work with his new prosthetics. he and iggy share a room bc iggy likes avdol the best.
nd like...hm maybe a week after avdol gets his arm prosthetics, pol comes in with some take out one evening
and pol is like “so this isnt nearly as classy of food or setting as i wanted this to be...but do u wanna have that dinner now?” and avdol chuckles and says sure
pol got iggy his own meal cause he didnt wanna incur his wrath. iggy appreciates this (idk what pol got him but probably something with meat and sauce)
just him and avdol talking...pol asks how physical therapy is going and avdol just shrugs before saying “harder than i wouldve expected but mr joestar has been giving me tips for fine motor skills”
avdol asks how pol’s own prosthetics r doing and pol wiggles his new metal fingers at him before saying “theyre good just cold and more weighty than my other fingers”
at some point (esp cause he already had physical therapy that day), avdol gets too tired and cant get th food to his mouth anymore so pol feeds him. it’s very sweet. avdol is a little embarrassed but pol assures him there’s nothing 2 be ashamed of like “u told me urself it’s okay to not do things alone.” avdol smiles and teases “oh so u Can use ur brain to learn new things after all” “hey!” theyre sweet
while pol is feeding avdol tho iggy snatches the rest of pol’s dinner and pol is cursing so loud. iggy does not care. avdol laughs the hardest he has since...well since the egypt trip started actually
anyway idk once theyre both done with food avdol asks pol when he’s gonna go back to france and pol like bashfully rubs th back of his head before saying “well ive been away so long now idk if france will still feel like home...like yeah it’s my homeland and i’d want to visit, but idk if it’s where i’d want to Live, you know?”
and avdol nods but is like “im sorry ur sense of home got taken from u” and pol shakes his head before muttering “actually if anything my sense of home is better now than ever”
“what does that mean”
pol takes a deep breath cause this is it. this is his moment. “wherever u are avdol is home to m- IGGY!!!” iggy has finished scarfing polnareff’s meal and is now rubbing his gross food-covered chaps against pol’s pants like he’s a fuckin napkin
avdol laughs again when pol jerks his legs up and pol gets flustered before telling iggy “ur ruining my damn moment dog” iggy just gives him a bored stare. when avdol stops laughing he reaches for pol’s hand tho and pol flushes pink for a reason other than anger
they dont rlly say anything else for a while they just hold hands before avdol is like “so...wherever i am is where home is?” and pol laughs nervously before saying “yeahh...sorry that was kinda cheesy”
“...but did u mean it?”
“...i meant it”
and avdol smiles at him and sjnnjnsnssbhehlbios. they dont make any plans right then but they do know,,,,,once avdol is healed enough 2 be discharged, wherever theyre going, theyre gonna go together. this is disgustingly sappy im sorry im just thinking. thank you
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