#im starting to run out of resources finally

[endlesslytired]

[hereforuconnwbb]

Unexpected Halt - CHAPTER NINE

paige x azzi (pazzi)

au fic!

~paige plays for uconn and azzi plays for stanford~

word count: 11.2k

warning: mentions of drugging and sa

heres chapter 9 for u guys !!! 🫶🏽 i wasnt too sure on how to continue at first, but i think ive finally got it. im hoping this chapter makes sense and ties everything together well 😭 im coming towards the end of this series—maybe just one or two more chapters left ?? im not entirely sure yet, it really depends on how i can wrap up the story and get it to flow. but um anywayssss i hope yall enjoy it !!

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Days had passed since Azzi unblocked Paige, but no messages had been sent. The silence lingered between them, heavy and unspoken. Paige had no way of knowing she was unblocked, and Azzi wasn’t sure if she wanted to be the one to break the silence first.

Paige, on the other hand, was still trying to process everything. She had spent the last few days running on autopilot—going to practice, going to class, pretending everything was fine when, in reality, she was anything but. The weight of everything with Lexi, the betrayal, the misunderstanding with Azzi—it all sat on her chest like a crushing force.

And now, Paige was faced with a decision.

Would she take the risk of reaching out, knowing she could be ignored? Or would she let Azzi come to her when she was ready?

—------------

Paige was sitting in her dorm, absentmindedly scrolling through her phone, when it rang. She didn’t recognize the number at first, but as soon as she picked up and heard the voice on the other end, her heart started racing.

“Paige Bueckers? This is Officer Reynolds from the Storrs Police Department. We’re calling to follow up on the investigation regarding Alexis Carter.”

Hearing Lexi’s full name sent a chill down Paige’s spine. She sat up straighter, gripping her phone tighter. “Yeah, I—um—yeah. What’s going on?”

“We wanted to inform you that we’ve taken Alexis Carter into custody.”

Paige’s breath caught in her throat. She hadn’t expected them to move this fast.

“We gathered enough evidence based on the videos you and Serena provided, along with the footage we obtained from Ted’s and testimonies from other witnesses. She was located earlier today, and after questioning, we proceeded with the arrest. She’s facing multiple charges, including administering a substance with intent, identity fraud for the messages she sent from your phone, and harassment.”

Paige exhaled, but the relief she thought she would feel wasn’t there. She still felt suffocated, still felt the weight of what had happened pressing down on her.

“So…what happens now?” she asked quietly.

“She’s being held in custody, and the case is moving forward. We’ll be in touch if we need you to provide further statements, but we have substantial evidence. We also wanted to check in with you—make sure you’re alright and see if you need any additional support.”

Paige wanted to say she was fine. That now that Lexi was out of the picture, everything would just go back to normal. But it wouldn’t. It couldn’t.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

The officer was silent for a moment before speaking again, their tone softer. “That’s understandable. This was a traumatic event, and it’s going to take time to process. If you need resources or someone to talk to, we can arrange that for you. You’re not alone in this, Paige.”

She swallowed hard. She wasn’t sure what she needed. Right now, all she could think about was Azzi.

“Thank you,” she said after a pause.

“Of course. We’ll keep you updated as things progress. If you remember anything else or need anything, don’t hesitate to reach out.”

With that, the call ended. Paige let her phone drop onto her bed as she stared at the wall, mind racing.

Lexi was finally gone. But the damage had already been done.

And now, she had to figure out how to pick up the pieces.

Her mind swirling with emotions after the call with the police. She didn’t know what she was expecting by sending the message, but something in her made her grab her phone and type it out anyway. She stared at the screen for a moment before hitting send, her finger hovering over the send button for a moment longer than necessary.

It was a long shot, a desperate move, but at this point, she had nothing left to lose.

“Azzi, I don’t know if this will even go through, but I just need you to know… I was the victim in all of this. I would never want to hurt you. Whatever happened wasn’t me. Lexi is the one who did this. There’s proof now, and the police are involved. I thought you’d never want to talk to me again, but I’m not giving up on us. I just want you to know the truth. I can’t keep living with this silence between us. Please, when you’re ready, I’ll be here. I just had to say this. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

She reread the message a few times, wondering if it would even reach Azzi. Maybe the damage was too deep. Maybe she didn’t want to hear from her anymore. But then again, Paige hadn’t known what Azzi had been thinking. She didn’t know if Azzi had even been given a chance to see the full picture.

Before she could second guess herself, she tapped the “send” button.

The seconds stretched, each one feeling like an eternity as Paige watched the little spinning icon. She held her breath, waiting. And then, the message went through.

It wasn’t a huge sign, not by any means, but it was a glimmer. She blinked, staring at her screen. Her heart skipped a beat. The message was sent.

She hadn’t expected that. She hadn’t thought for a second that Azzi would unblock her. But the fact that the message had gone through meant something. Azzi had at least read it—or would, eventually.

But that was all she could do for now. There was nothing more she could say. She had apologized. She had explained. The rest was up to Azzi.

Paige set her phone down beside her, a weight still heavy on her chest. She felt exposed, vulnerable, but a small part of her felt a glimmer of hope. Even if it was just a sliver, it was something.

She wiped away the tear that had escaped her eye and curled into herself, hoping for a message that might never come.

—------------

Azzi sat on the edge of her bed, her fingers tracing the rim of her coffee cup, her mind racing with thoughts of everything that had happened. She hadn’t thought much about Paige in the past few days—not really. It was hard not to, of course, but Azzi had done her best to keep herself distracted. Her heart ached every time she thought of Paige, but she knew she needed time. Time to process everything, to let the anger fade, and to try to heal.

And then, her phone buzzed.

Azzi glanced down, seeing Paige’s name pop up on the screen. She hadn’t expected it. She hadn’t even thought about whether or not Paige would reach out again.

Her thumb hovered over the message. She hadn’t blocked Paige’s number, not completely, but she’d kept herself away for a reason. But now, as she stared at the message, something in her shifted. Her thumb tapped the notification, and the message opened.

Paige: Azzi, I don’t know if this will even go through, but I just need you to know… I was the victim in all of this. I would never want to hurt you. Whatever happened wasn’t me. Lexi is the one who did this. There’s proof now, and the police are involved. I thought you’d never want to talk to me again, but I’m not giving up on us. I just want you to know the truth. I can’t keep living with this silence between us. Please, when you’re ready, I’ll be here. I just had to say this. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.

Azzi closed her eyes, the weight of Paige’s words sinking into her chest. She exhaled a shaky breath, trying to process what she had just read. For the longest time, Azzi had been convinced that Paige had hurt her. She hadn’t understood the truth, and the anger and pain she’d carried had clouded her.

But now it made sense.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Caroline’s voice from a few days ago. She had shown Azzi the videos, the evidence Paige had sent. Azzi hadn’t wanted to look at it, hadn’t wanted to know, but Caroline had insisted. The proof had been undeniable. Lexi was the one who had drugged Paige, and she had kissed her while Paige had been unconscious, taking a picture to frame her. Azzi had watched the videos, and each one had broken her heart even more.

Azzi had been so angry with Paige, but Caroline had shown her the truth and it was a lot for her to take in. And now, reading Paige’s message, everything was clearer.

Azzi: Paige… I didn’t know. I should have listened to you from the start, and I’m so sorry for blocking you. Caroline showed me the videos, and I see what happened. I can’t imagine how you must have felt. I’m sorry for everything… for not giving you the chance to explain. I was hurt, but I know now you didn’t deserve that. I understand now, and I’m so sorry.

Azzi sat back, her chest tight. She had no idea how Paige would respond, but she knew this was a step toward healing. Toward understanding. She wasn’t sure what would happen next, but for the first time in days, Azzi felt like she could breathe again.

She had forgiven Paige, but now, they had a lot to work through.

Her heart still ached, but there was hope now. Hope for something they could rebuild, piece by piece.

—------------

Paige’s heart hammered in her chest as she stared at her phone, waiting for Azzi’s reply. Her fingers felt cold, and she was almost afraid to open the message. What if Azzi didn’t respond? What if this was it?

When her phone buzzed, Paige quickly unlocked it, holding her breath as she saw the message from Azzi.

Azzi: Paige… I didn’t know. I should have listened to you from the start, and I’m so sorry for blocking you. Caroline showed me the videos, and I see what happened. I can’t imagine how you must have felt. I’m sorry for everything… for not giving you the chance to explain. I was hurt, but I know now you didn’t deserve that. I understand now, and I’m so sorry.

Paige let out a shaky breath, the weight on her chest lifting just a little. Her thumb hovered over the screen, unsure of what to say next.

Paige: “Thank you for saying that. I’ve been wanting to talk to you, but I didn’t know if you’d ever want to hear from me again. But I’m glad we’re talking now.”

She paused, thinking about everything that had happened. It was still a mess, but at least they were starting to clear the air.

Azzi: “I was really mad at you, Paige. But I see now that it wasn’t you. I should’ve trusted you more. I just couldn’t understand.”

Paige: “I get it. I messed up too, but I promise, I never wanted to hurt you.”

Azzi: “I know. It’s just going to take me some time to process everything. I don’t know what happens next, but I think I’m ready to start figuring it out.”

Paige smiled at the message, her heart a little lighter now.

Paige: “Whenever you’re ready, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Paige sat on her bed, staring at her phone, rereading her conversation with Azzi. She didn’t know what this meant for them, but at least they were talking again. That was something.

Before she could get lost in her thoughts, her dorm door swung open.

“Knew it!” KK’s voice rang out as she and Ice stepped inside, grinning.

Paige blinked up at them, confused. “Knew what?”

Ice smirked. “That you and Azzi would talk again. You were looking miserable as hell the past few days, but something about you feels different now.”

KK nudged Ice. “Look at her, man. She’s literally glowing.”

Paige rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help the small smile creeping onto her lips.

Ice crossed her arms. “So? What happened?”

Paige exhaled, running a hand through her hair. “She unblocked me.”

KK let out a dramatic gasp. “Oh shit, for real?”

Paige nodded. “Yeah… we talked. She saw the videos, and she gets it now. She apologized for not listening to me.”

Ice grinned. “That’s big, P. She still cares.”

Paige shrugged, but she felt lighter than she had in days. “She needs time, which I get. I just—” She sighed, shaking her head. “I just hope we can move forward.”

KK flopped onto Paige’s bed. “You will. She knows the truth now. Just give it time.”

Ice sat beside her, nodding. “And we’ll be here making sure you don’t spiral while you wait.”

Paige huffed out a laugh, appreciating them more than she could put into words. For the first time in a while, things didn’t feel so hopeless.

The conversation shifted to the next game, and KK leaned forward, her tone teasing. “So, speaking of moving forward, there’s a little matter of that upcoming game against UCLA. It’s at their arena, in California. You should totally catch a flight to Azzi after our game. You’re technically already there, right? Just fly to see Azzi. Take a break before the next game. We’re all thinking it.”

Paige blinked, caught off guard. “You really think I should?”

Ice nodded seriously. “Yeah, why not? It’s the perfect time. Geno and CD probably won’t have a problem with it.”

Paige hesitated for a moment. “I mean, it would make sense… we’re already in California. I just need to get their approval.”

KK shot her a wink. “Exactly. And come on, you’ve guys got to fix things. Take this chance.”

—------------

Later that day, Paige walked into Geno’s office, where both he and CD were reviewing some game footage. They looked up when she entered.

“Paige, what’s up?” Geno asked, his expression neutral but welcoming.

Paige took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. “Hey, so, I was thinking… after our game against UCLA in California, I could catch a flight to Stanford instead of coming back with the team. There’s a bit of a break before our next game, so I thought I could use the time to sort out some stuff. Relationship stuff”

CD raised an eyebrow. “Relationship stuff, huh? Sounds serious.”

Paige nodded. “Yeah, it’s… with Azzi.”

The room went silent for a moment. Geno and CD exchanged a look, both clearly surprised. Geno leaned back in his chair. “Azzi? The Azzi Fudd? I didn’t realize that was happening.”

Paige bit her lip, feeling slightly awkward now. “Yeah, it’s been complicated. But we’re trying to work things out, and I think this is a good time to talk.”

CD gave her a thoughtful nod. “Well, if it’s important, we’re not going to stop you. But we do need to make sure the team stays focused. I trust you can handle it. Just don’t forget the bigger picture.”

Paige nodded, her heart pounding in her chest. “Thanks. I really appreciate it.”

Then Geno added, “Oh and just so you know, we’ve been hearing some things about Azzi and Caroline. Apparently, they’re both entering the transfer portal.”

Paige froze, eyes widening in shock. “What? They’re… what? They didn’t tell me.”

CD sighed. “It’s a bit of a mess. Apparently, there’s some internal conflict at Stanford, and both of them are looking at other options.”

Paige felt a wave of disbelief hit her. “But… they didn’t even mention it to me.”

Geno looked at her, his expression thoughtful. “You might want to talk to them about it. It’s something a lot of teams are looking into, including us. If you’re going out there, maybe you can try to convince them to come to UConn. I’m sure they’d fit in well here. And, we would really love to have them here.”

Paige’s mind was racing. Azzi and Caroline leaving Stanford was something she hadn’t expected at all. She hadn’t known the extent of the situation between them, and now it seemed like everything was about to change.

“Thanks for the heads up,” she muttered, still processing. “I’ll see what I can do.”

With that, Paige left the office, her thoughts swirling. She had a lot more to think about than just her relationship with Azzi. Now, the future of her team��and possibly Azzi and Caroline’s futures—were hanging in the balance. She knew she needed to handle this carefully.

—------------

Later that night, Paige sat on her bed, staring at her phone for a while before typing out the message to Azzi. She wasn’t sure how Azzi would react to the news about the transfer portal, but she had to tell her. She took a deep breath and began typing:

Paige: Hey, I just found out about the transfer portal with you and Caroline… You didn’t mention it to me. What’s going on?

She hit send, her heart beating a little faster as she waited for Azzi’s response. Paige wasn’t sure what to expect. She was already dealing with a lot of uncertainty with their relationship, and now there was this unexpected development with the portal. The last thing she wanted was to make things more complicated.

After a few moments, Azzi’s reply came through.

Azzi: Yeah, I didn’t want to tell you yet… We’ve been trying to figure everything out. It’s not easy, but I guess it’s time to move on. The situation here just… isn’t working anymore.

Paige’s chest tightened as she read the message. She understood the decision, even if it hurt to see Azzi’s words so final. She thought about the implications—Azzi leaving Stanford, everything changing. But she wasn’t about to give up on them just yet.

Paige: Hey, I get it. I really do. Look, after the UCLA game, I’m gonna head over to Stanford to see you. I need to talk to you in person. I know it’s been rough, but I want to make things right.

Azzi’s reply came quickly, and Paige felt a bit of relief when she read it.

Azzi: Sounds good. I’ll be here. I’m glad you’re coming.

Paige smiled to herself as she read the message. She knew there was a long road ahead, but this was a step in the right direction. She had to fix things with Azzi, no matter what it took.

She put her phone down for a moment, taking a deep breath. She still had the game against UCLA to focus on, but for the first time in a while, things felt like they were moving forward.

—------------

A few days later, the UConn team touched down in LA, the warm California sun blindingly bright against the backdrop of the towering skyscrapers. The city was alive with energy, a stark contrast to the chilly weather they had left behind. The team moved through the airport, their chatter filling the air, but Paige’s mind was elsewhere. She followed the others, but her focus was on one thing: the game tomorrow. She had one more challenge to face before she could finally board a flight to Stanford.

Ice and KK walked alongside her as they made their way to the team buses, the three of them talking casually, but there was an underlying tension in the air. Ice, ever the curious one, raised an eyebrow as Paige remained quieter than usual.

“So, we know you’re heading to Stanford after the game, huh?” Ice asked, her voice teasing but with a knowing look in her eyes. “You sure about this?”

Paige’s lips pressed together into a thin line. She had told them her plan earlier, but there was a difference between talking about it and actually going through with it. She nodded, pushing aside the anxious feeling in her chest. “Yeah, I need to figure things out with Azzi.”

KK chimed in with a smirk. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re more excited to get there than play tomorrow.”

Paige rolled her eyes, but the flicker of nerves in her gaze betrayed her. “I’m focused on the game,” she said, but even she could hear the uncertainty in her voice. “We’ll see how things go.”

They reached the hotel, and the team began filing inside, luggage in tow. Paige’s teammates found their rooms, and she followed the group, but her mind kept wandering back to Stanford. She didn’t know exactly how Azzi would react when they see each other at the airport, or what their conversation would be like, but she knew it had to happen. No more running.

“Don’t worry, P,” Ice said softly, falling in step beside her as they walked down the hallway. “Whatever happens, we’re all here for you. Just remember to focus tomorrow. Then you can do whatever you want after.”

Paige gave a small smile, grateful for the support. Her friends had been there for her through everything, especially the mess with Lexi and all the emotional turmoil that had come with it. Ice always had a way of making her feel like everything would be okay, even when it didn’t feel that way.

“I know,” Paige replied quietly. “But tomorrow’s game… it’s important. I just want to get through it.”

KK nudged her. “You’ll do fine, P. You always do. But then, you have to come back and deal with whatever happens next.” She gave Paige a knowing look. “Don’t leave us hanging.”

Paige let out a small laugh. “You’re gonna be the first to know.”

They arrived at the room, and Ice and KK dropped their bags, taking their usual spots on the beds. Paige’s mind, though, was already a million miles away, picturing the flight she’d be catching after the game tomorrow—her chance to set things right with Azzi.

—------------

The next day, the game against UCLA was nothing short of intense. The atmosphere in the arena was electric, with fans packed into the stands, the tension palpable in the air. UConn and UCLA were evenly matched, trading points in a high-paced battle that seemed to keep everyone on the edge of their seats. Every possession felt crucial, and both teams played with relentless energy, their defenses pushing back against any attempt at a clean shot.

Paige moved quickly on the court, the familiar rhythm of the game grounding her, even though her mind kept straying. She felt the pressure of the upcoming trip—Stanford was calling, and there was no turning back now. But despite the whirlwind of thoughts, the game was all she knew in that moment. When the ball was in her hands, everything else faded away.

She sank shot after shot, her focus sharp despite the chaos surrounding her. Her teammates relied on her, and she didn’t let them down. Every assist was well-timed, and every play was made with precision. When the game reached its final moments, with the score neck-and-neck, Paige found herself leading a fast break, pushing the ball down the court with urgency. The defense closed in, but Paige faked left and made a slick pass to her teammate, who finished with a quick layup.

The buzzer sounded seconds later, signaling UConn’s hard-fought victory. The crowd erupted, and the team erupted with them. Paige, though, was already thinking ahead. The relief of winning the game was temporary, fleeting, like a breath she could finally release. But her mind quickly shifted back to the flight waiting for her after the final whistle. The night was still young, and she had one more step to take, one more conversation to have.

As the team celebrated their victory in the locker room, Paige kept her composure, letting the excitement of the win wash over her but not getting swept away. She exchanged high-fives with her teammates and smiled at their praise, but her eyes kept darting toward the door. The countdown was on, and soon, she would be on her way. She couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. The next chapter was about to unfold, and she didn’t know how it would go, but one thing was clear: she was ready.

—------------

After the game, the team gathered their things and headed back to the hotel. The atmosphere was a mix of excitement and relief. Paige, however, had her focus on the next chapter—getting to Stanford and facing whatever awaited her with Azzi.

At the hotel, Paige took her time packing. She didn’t want to rush the moment. Once she was done, she left the room and met up with Ice and KK in the lobby.

“I’ll see you guys soon,” Paige said, hugging both of them. “Thanks for everything, seriously.”

“You got this, P,” Ice said with a smile. “We’re proud of you.”

“Take care of yourself, alright?” KK added, giving Paige a tight squeeze. “Let us know how everything goes with Azzi.”

Paige nodded, grateful for their support. She didn’t know what the next few days would hold, but she knew that having her friends backing her up was all she needed.

She made her way over to Geno and CD, who were talking with a couple of the other coaches near the entrance. As she approached, Geno turned to her, giving her a quick nod.

“Headed to the airport now, huh?” he asked, his expression a little serious but supportive.

Paige smiled nervously. “Yeah.”

CD raised an eyebrow. “Let us know if you need anything. And… if you convince her and Caroline to come to UConn, we’ll be waiting.”

Paige chuckled, but the thought lingered in the back of her mind. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen with Azzi, but she knew that was something they’d have to work through together.

“Thanks, guys,” Paige said, giving them both a hug. “I’ll keep you posted.”

As she walked out of the hotel, the cool evening air hit her face, a welcome contrast to the warmth of the building she was leaving behind. Her heart raced with a mix of excitement and nerves. She was about to head to the airport—about to catch her flight to Stanford to see Azzi. The weight of what was ahead settled on her chest, but she pushed it down. She had to stay focused.

She grabbed her bag, dialing for an Uber as she stepped onto the sidewalk. The car arrived quickly, and she slid into the backseat, trying to keep her thoughts in check as the city of LA passed by outside the window.

—------------

Paige sat back in her seat, buckling her seatbelt as the plane began to taxi down the runway. She pulled out her phone, fingers hesitating for a moment before she sent a quick message to Azzi.

Paige: “Just boarded my flight. Should be there in 2 hours.”

She stared at the screen, her heart thudding a little faster than usual. She hadn’t been this nervous in a while, but this was different. This was about fixing something she had broken, something she wasn’t sure could be fixed.

It didn’t take long for Azzi’s reply to come through.

Azzi: “I’ll be waiting at the airport for you. See you soon 💗”

Paige smiled softly at the message, feeling a sense of calm settle over her. She was actually going to see Azzi. It felt surreal, knowing how much had happened between them. There was a lot to say, but right now, just knowing that Azzi would be there, waiting for her, gave Paige a little hope.

As the plane lifted into the sky, Paige leaned her head back, closing her eyes for a moment. She felt a mix of emotions—nervousness, relief, anticipation. She didn’t know what the next few hours would bring, but she was going to take it one step at a time. The first step was seeing Azzi. And that was all that mattered right now.

—------------

The flight was short, barely an hour and a half, but it felt longer to Paige. Her mind raced as she watched the passing clouds outside the window, thinking about everything that had led her here. The thought of Azzi waiting at the airport kept bringing a small smile to her face. She felt a sense of warmth and nervousness mix in her chest, like she was preparing for something significant, even though she wasn’t sure exactly what that would be.

When the plane finally began its descent, Paige’s heart quickened. She wasn’t sure what she expected when she landed—whether Azzi would be waiting with open arms, or if the tension between them would be too much to overcome—but she was about to find out.

The plane touched down with a soft jolt, and Paige quickly grabbed her things, eager to get off. She checked her phone one more time, seeing Azzi’s message again. Paige’s hands were shaking just slightly, the reality of the situation settling in. She was finally here, finally going to see Azzi.

As soon as she stepped off the plane, Paige scanned the crowded terminal, her eyes searching for the one person she knew would be waiting for her. It didn’t take long. Through the crowd, she saw Azzi standing by the baggage claim, looking around. Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, and she had a small, hesitant smile on her face.

Paige’s heart skipped a beat. She walked toward Azzi, their eyes meeting in a quiet, unspoken understanding.

When they were close enough, Paige didn’t hesitate. She opened her arms, a simple gesture, but one that felt huge in the moment. Azzi’s face softened, and without a second thought, she stepped into Paige’s embrace. The moment their bodies met, a wave of relief seemed to wash over both of them.

Azzi’s arms wrapped around Paige tightly, and she pressed her face into the crook of Paige’s neck, inhaling deeply. All the anger, confusion, and hurt of the past few days seemed to fade away in that moment. There was nothing but the warmth of Paige’s arms and the quiet comfort of knowing that she wasn’t alone in this anymore.

Azzi closed her eyes, feeling her heart settle for the first time in what felt like forever. All she had needed was this—the simple reassurance that Paige still cared. That maybe they could still figure things out, even after everything that had happened.

For Paige, it felt like the world had paused, the noise of the airport fading into the background. Holding Azzi like this, feeling her warmth, it was everything she’d wanted but never knew how to ask for. She wanted to say so much, but for now, just this felt like enough.

They stood there for a moment, the embrace lingering longer than either of them expected. Azzi finally pulled back slightly, her hands resting on Paige’s shoulders as she looked up at her, her face soft but guarded.

“I’m sorry,” Paige whispered, her voice barely above a breath, though she hadn’t meant to say it aloud.

Azzi simply nodded, not saying a word, but Paige could see the quiet understanding in her eyes.

After a few moments, Azzi cracked a small smile. “Let’s just… take it one step at a time, okay?”

Paige nodded, her chest tight but hopeful. “Yeah. One step at a time.”

And that was all either of them needed right now.

—------------

The car ride back to Azzi’s dorm was filled with a strange tension that neither of them knew how to break. Paige sat in the passenger seat, nervously picking at her fingers, stealing occasional glances at Azzi, who kept her eyes focused on the road ahead. The weight of everything that had happened was still hanging in the air, making it hard for either of them to find a natural way to ease into conversation.

As they passed through the busy streets, Paige decided to push through the awkward silence. “So… the transfer portal situation,” she started, her voice slightly hesitating. She was nervous, but she knew they needed to address it. She’d been holding onto the question ever since hearing about it, unsure of how to bring it up without making things feel too heavy.

Azzi glanced at her quickly, her face unreadable, before focusing back on the road. She didn’t say anything, but Paige could feel the unspoken weight of it.

Paige swallowed, gathering her courage. “I know… I know it’s been tough. But, uh, which schools have been reaching out to you guys? I know UConn’s one of them.”

Azzi was quiet for a moment, then gave a small, almost resigned sigh. “Yeah, UConn’s reached out. A lot of schools have. Tennessee, UCLA, ND… and some other big ones, too. But, honestly, we’re still exploring all the options. Caroline and I, we have an idea of where we might want to go, but… it’s still up in the air.”

Paige nodded, trying to hide the rush of emotions that came over her. She wasn’t surprised that UConn was one of the schools reaching out—Geno had always made it clear he wanted the best players, and Azzi and Caroline were among the best.

A part of her couldn’t help but feel hopeful, though she pushed that feeling down, not wanting to get her hopes up too much.

“I talked to Geno about it,” Paige said, her voice a little softer. “He really wants you and Caroline there. He believes you two could make UConn unstoppable.”

Azzi didn’t say anything at first, but Paige could see the slight tension in her shoulders as she kept her eyes on the road. She didn’t know what Azzi was thinking, but it was clear that the transfer portal situation was just as complicated for her as it was for Paige.

“We’ve talked about it,” Azzi finally said, her voice quiet. “Caroline and I… we’ve got some ideas. But, yeah, we’re still figuring things out.”

The silence settled between them again, though it felt less heavy now. Paige’s mind was racing with thoughts of what this all meant. She wasn’t sure if they’d be able to work things out between them, but she was starting to think that maybe… just maybe, they could both find a way to make it work—both with their teams and with each other.

Azzi took a sharp turn, heading into the parking lot near her dorm. Paige shifted in her seat, the nerves creeping back up again. The anticipation of what was to come next—the conversation, the possible change in direction for their futures—was almost too much to bear.

Azzi parked the car and turned off the engine. She looked over at Paige, her expression soft, yet thoughtful. “We’ll figure it out.I just need some time.”

Paige nodded, her heart heavy but hopeful. “Yeah… I know.”

They sat there for a moment, neither of them speaking, just letting the quiet settle between them as the night deepened around them.

—------------

As Paige and Azzi walked through the parking lot, the cool night air brushed against them, and Paige carried her own bag despite Azzi’s insistence that she help. Azzi had offered multiple times to take the bag for her, but Paige had declined each time with a small smile, not wanting to seem like a burden. There was something comforting about the familiar weight of her own belongings in her hand, and it felt right for her to carry it herself.

They reached the dorm building, and the familiar hum of campus life surrounded them as they entered the building and made their way up to Azzi’s floor. The soft sound of their footsteps echoed through the hallway, and as they reached Azzi’s door, Paige was already mentally preparing for whatever the next few days would bring. She was hoping they could talk, finally process everything that had happened, and see where things stood between them.

Azzi opened the door to reveal Caroline lounging on the couch, her attention on her phone. She looked up when the door clicked open and, for a moment, froze. When her eyes landed on Paige, she blinked in surprise, her brow furrowing.

“Paige?” Caroline’s voice was laced with a hint of confusion, but there was something more there—a mix of curiosity and cautious hope. She quickly pushed herself up from the couch, standing to face them both.

Paige gave her a tight-lipped smile, nodding. “Yeah, I’m here.”

Azzi shot Caroline a knowing look as she stepped inside. “We’re working things out,” Azzi said, and even though her voice was calm, there was an undeniable weight to it, a promise of something better to come.

Caroline nodded, relief washing over her face, though she didn’t say anything right away. She just gave Paige a small, tentative smile before sitting back down on the couch, her phone forgotten in her lap. “I’m glad you two are figuring things out,” she said with a sincerity that softened the tension in the room.

Paige nodded, not sure what else to say, her own nerves still raw from the past few weeks. She followed Azzi to her room, feeling the slight unease in her stomach. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be here, in Azzi’s space, but everything still felt so new and fragile. She wasn’t sure if they were fully back to where they used to be, or if they were even capable of getting there.

Azzi’s room was cozy and familiar, just like Paige remembered. The bed was slightly unmade, clothes scattered on the floor in the usual places, and the soft glow of a desk lamp illuminated the room with a warm, intimate light. Azzi sat down on her bed, laying back and propping herself up with a pillow, her eyes following Paige as she started to sort through her things.

Paige set her bag down beside the dresser and began putting Azzi’s clothes away in the drawers, the mundane task helping her focus and calm her nerves. She had missed this—this small part of her life, the simple act of being in Azzi’s space and settling in like everything was normal. But it wasn’t normal, not yet, and the tension between them remained, though neither of them was sure how to break it.

“You don’t have to do that, you know,” Azzi said softly from her spot on the bed, her voice gentle but with an underlying tone of concern. “I could’ve helped you. You don’t need to do everything on your own.”

Paige paused for a moment, looking over her shoulder at Azzi, her expression softening. “It’s fine,” she said quietly, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I need to do something. Keeps my mind busy.”

Azzi nodded, watching her for a moment before sinking back into the pillows. She hadn’t fully processed everything either, but for now, this—just having Paige there—felt like the right step. They didn’t have all the answers yet, but for the first time in what felt like forever, there was no immediate urgency to fix everything. It could wait.

As Paige finished settling in, she turned to see Azzi looking at her with a mixture of exhaustion and something softer, like she was grateful for Paige’s presence, but also unsure of where they stood.

Paige sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at her hands before turning to face Azzi. She took a deep breath, the silence lingering between them.

“I’m glad we’re doing this,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to lose you, Azzi. Not again.”

Azzi’s gaze softened, and she reached out, brushing her hand lightly against Paige’s. “You won’t. We’re figuring this out. Together.”

—------------

Paige took her time tidying up Azzi’s room, folding the scattered clothes and stacking them neatly in a pile by the dresser. It was a simple task, but it grounded her, kept her hands busy while her mind raced. Azzi stayed on the bed, watching in silence, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the hem of her hoodie. The air between them was heavy—not tense, exactly, but weighted with everything they hadn’t said yet.

When Paige finally finished, she turned back toward the bed, wiping her hands on her sweatpants. Azzi was still looking at her, eyes flickering with hesitation and something else—regret. Paige could see it before she even spoke.

Azzi sat up, crossing her legs beneath her. “Paige,” she started, voice quiet, unsure. She glanced down, like she was trying to piece her words together before finally meeting Paige’s gaze again. “I need to say this. I—I was wrong.”

Paige’s brows furrowed slightly, but she didn’t say anything, letting Azzi continue.

“When I first saw the picture… when I got those messages,” Azzi swallowed hard, shaking her head as if frustrated with herself. “I didn’t even stop to think. I should have. I should’ve listened to you, I should’ve trusted you instead of letting my emotions get the best of me.” Her voice grew softer, guilt weighing down her words. “And when I saw the proof—the video of how she kissed you while you were unconscious, how she drugged you—I felt… sick. Sick that I ever doubted you.”

Paige exhaled, her expression unreadable.

Azzi clenched her hands together. “I’m so sorry. I was so caught up in how it looked, how it felt, that I didn’t even give you the chance to explain. I just—” She hesitated, eyes dropping again. “I just reacted. And that wasn’t fair to you.”

Paige stayed silent for a moment, processing Azzi’s words. She could see the sincerity in her eyes, the way her voice wavered just enough to reveal the emotions she was holding back. Azzi wasn’t just apologizing—she was hurting over how she had handled it.

Paige finally sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Azzi… it’s okay.”

Azzi’s head snapped up, her brows drawing together. “No, it’s not.”

Paige shook her head. “None of this should’ve happened in the first place. Lexi… she’s messed up. And yeah, it hurt when you didn’t believe me, but I get why it was hard to process.” Her voice softened. “I would’ve been hurt too if the situation was reversed.”

Azzi looked like she wanted to argue, but Paige gave her a small, reassuring smile. “The important thing is that we’re here now. We’re working through it.” She nudged Azzi’s knee lightly. “We’re not gonna let her win, okay?”

Azzi exhaled shakily, nodding. “Yeah. Okay.”

A comfortable silence settled over them, the weight of the conversation lifting, even if it wasn’t completely gone. Paige glanced at Azzi’s bed, then back at her. “Can we… can we cuddle?”

Azzi blinked in surprise before nodding almost immediately, shifting back to make space. “Yeah. Of course.”

Paige climbed onto the bed, pulling the blankets over them as she settled in. Azzi didn’t hesitate before burying her face into the crook of Paige’s neck, her arms wrapping around her like she had been waiting for this moment for far too long. Paige sucked in a quiet breath at the closeness, but after a moment, she relaxed, resting her chin on top of Azzi’s head. The warmth of Azzi’s body against hers, the steady rhythm of her breathing—it was calming. Familiar.

Paige hesitated, but then, gently, she pressed a soft kiss to the top of Azzi’s head. Azzi let out a quiet breath, holding Paige just a little tighter. Neither of them spoke, both content in the silence, in the feeling of being wrapped up in each other.

And slowly, with their bodies tangled together, they drifted off to sleep.

—------------

The morning light seeped through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room. Paige and Azzi were still tangled together beneath the blankets, their breathing slow and steady. Azzi’s head remained tucked beneath Paige’s chin, her arms loosely wrapped around Paige’s waist. Paige had one arm draped over Azzi’s back, holding her close even in sleep. It was the kind of peaceful scene that made it easy to forget all the complications surrounding them.

Caroline didn’t forget, though—not when she walked into the room with a plate of food in hand, fully expecting to wake Azzi up for breakfast, only to freeze in the doorway at the sight before her.

Her lips curled into a smirk as she took in the sight of Paige and Azzi curled up together, completely unaware of the world around them. It was almost unfair how cute they looked. Paige, who had always tried to play things cool, was practically cradling Azzi in her sleep. And Azzi? She looked like she had no intentions of ever letting go.

Caroline bit her lip to hold back a laugh before quietly pulling out her phone. She made sure the angle was just right before snapping a picture. She knew Azzi would kill her if she found out, but this was too good not to capture.

With the evidence secured, she finally cleared her throat. “Alright, lovebirds, time to wake up. I made breakfast, and I am not about to let it get cold while you two continue your little cuddle session.”

Azzi groaned first, nuzzling closer into Paige as if she could ignore Caroline’s voice and go back to sleep. Paige, still half-asleep, tightened her hold slightly before blinking her eyes open.

Caroline smirked. “Good morning, sunshine.”

Paige groaned, her voice thick with sleep. “Why are you in here?”

“Because I made breakfast,” Caroline said matter-of-factly. “And also because you two looked way too cozy, and I just had to document the moment.”

Paige’s brain was still catching up when Azzi finally stirred, blinking up at her before realization hit. Her eyes widened slightly, and she slowly pulled back, her cheeks flushing. Paige reluctantly let go, rubbing a hand over her face as she tried to shake off her sleepiness.

Azzi shot Caroline a suspicious look. “What do you mean document?”

Caroline grinned, holding up her phone. “You’ll see later. Now get up before I start eating without you.”

Azzi groaned, throwing a pillow in Caroline’s direction as she walked off laughing. Paige just sighed, already regretting whatever picture Caroline had taken.

But despite that, as she glanced over at Azzi—who was still red-faced but smiling softly—she couldn’t bring herself to care too much.

Azzi let out a tired sigh, running a hand through her messy hair before glancing at Paige, who was still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The warmth from their cuddle lingered between them, and for a brief second, Azzi wanted to curl right back into Paige’s arms and pretend the morning didn’t exist.

But Caroline had made breakfast, and given how rare that was, Azzi figured she should take advantage of it before she regretted it.

Paige stretched, her hoodie riding up slightly before she tugged it back down. “I feel like I should be worried about that picture,” she mumbled, still groggy.

Azzi scoffed, sliding out of bed. “You should be. Caroline has no chill.”

Paige chuckled softly, finally sitting up. “Yeah, I figured that out a long time ago.”

Azzi rolled her eyes but smiled as she grabbed a hair tie from her nightstand and pulled her hair into a loose ponytail. She hesitated for a second before turning to Paige. “You coming?”

Paige met her gaze and nodded, swinging her legs over the bed. “Yeah. Can’t let Caroline eat all the food she claims she made.”

Azzi smirked. “You’re assuming she didn’t just order it and put it on plates.”

Paige gave her a knowing look. “That’s exactly what I’m assuming.”

They both laughed as they made their way out of the room and into the small common area where Caroline had set up breakfast. A stack of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and some fruit sat on the table, and sure enough, a few empty takeout containers were shoved into the trash.

Azzi gave Caroline a look. “Wow. You really went all out with this homemade meal.”

Caroline grinned, unbothered. “I slaved over this. You’re welcome.”

Paige snorted, grabbing a plate. “Uh-huh. Thanks for all your hard work.”

Caroline shrugged. “Hey, the effort to plate it counts for something.” She smirked at Paige as she took a bite of her food. “So… how was your sleepover?”

Azzi shot her a warning look. “Caroline.”

“What?” Caroline grinned innocently before winking at Paige. “Just asking. You both looked real comfortable this morning.”

Paige rolled her eyes but smirked slightly. “We slept. That’s what happened.”

Caroline hummed. “Sure, sure.” She glanced at Azzi before taking a bite of her food. “Well, if y’all wanna keep playing house, don’t let me stop you.”

Azzi sighed, ignoring her as she grabbed some food for herself. Paige just shook her head, but underneath the teasing, she could see the genuine relief on Caroline’s face. As annoying as she was, she had been rooting for them the whole time.

And for the first time in a long time, Paige felt like things were finally falling back into place.

They settled at the table, the clinking of forks against plates filling the comfortable silence between them. The food, despite being very obviously from a takeout container, wasn’t bad, and Paige had to admit she appreciated the effort—at least Caroline had plated it.

Azzi sat across from her, quietly eating while occasionally sneaking glances at Paige, like she was still processing the fact that she was here. Paige caught her once, smirking slightly as she raised a brow. Azzi just shook her head, a small smile tugging at her lips as she focused back on her food.

Caroline, of course, was the first to break the silence. “So, Paige, how long are you sticking around?”

Paige wiped her mouth with a napkin before answering. “Geno wants me back in time for practice, so… another two days.”

Azzi’s chewing slowed, and Caroline tilted her head. “That’s kinda short.”

“Yeah, I know,” Paige admitted, glancing at Azzi before continuing. “But honestly? I’m just glad he and CD let me come here instead of heading straight back to Connecticut with the team.”

Azzi looked up at that, her expression softening. Paige could see the unspoken I’m glad too in her eyes, but Azzi didn’t say it out loud.

Caroline nodded, popping a piece of fruit into her mouth. “Damn. Geno really let you off the leash for a bit, huh?”

Paige chuckled. “More like he granted me permission. Probably helped that CD was kinda on my side about it.”

Azzi smirked. “So basically, CD allowed you.”

Paige grinned. “Pretty much.”

Caroline laughed. “Sounds about right.”

Azzi glanced at Paige again, a question lingering behind her eyes, but she didn’t voice it. Paige could tell she was thinking about the fact that they only had two days together before she had to leave. And honestly? Paige was thinking about it too.

Two days wasn’t much. But it was something.

And right now, she’d take whatever time she could get.

—------------

The conversation drifted into lighter topics as they ate, the tension from the past few days finally beginning to ease. Paige still felt the weight of everything that had happened, but at least now, sitting across from Azzi, talking, laughing—even if it was at Caroline’s expense—it didn’t feel so overwhelming.

Caroline leaned back in her chair, finishing the last of her food. “So, what’s the plan for today? Are you two gonna, like… go on a cute little date or just sit here and stare at each other?”

Azzi shot her a look. “You are so annoying.”

Caroline smirked. “It’s a talent.”

Paige chuckled, setting her fork down. “I don’t know. I wasn’t exactly planning a romantic getaway, considering, you know… everything.”

Azzi shifted in her seat, twirling her fork between her fingers. “We don’t have to do anything big,” she said, glancing at Paige. “We could just… hang out. Maybe go shoot around for a bit, get some fresh air.”

Paige met her gaze, a small smile forming. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Caroline groaned. “God, you two are so predictable. Basketball is literally your love language.”

Azzi rolled her eyes. “And?”

Caroline held her hands up in surrender. “Hey, I’m just saying. You could, I don’t know, go to an actual place. Like a restaurant, or the mall, or—”

“We could,” Paige cut in, smirking. “But we won’t.”

Caroline sighed dramatically. “You’re both hopeless.”

Paige just grinned, standing and grabbing her plate. “Hopeless but happy.”

Azzi bit her lip, trying to hide the smile threatening to break through, but Paige caught it anyway. It made something warm settle in her chest.

—------------

After breakfast, the three of them decided to stay in for a bit, just letting the morning stretch out lazily. The air in the dorm felt peaceful—no rush, no pressure. Paige and Azzi spent the time lounging in the common room, chatting idly, with Caroline doing most of the talking while Paige and Azzi exchanged quiet glances when they could.

By the time afternoon rolled around, the sun had warmed the day, and the urge to get moving settled in. Caroline had already made herself scarce, and Azzi and Paige were left with the quiet buzz of anticipation for the afternoon.

“Ready to head to the courts?” Azzi asked, standing up from the couch and grabbing her jacket from the back of her chair.

Paige grinned, standing up too. “Yeah, let’s go. I’m itching for some competition.”

Azzi raised an eyebrow. “You sure you want that? I’m in prime form today.”

Paige chuckled. “Please. I’m not worried.”

They both made their way down to the campus courts, the sound of bouncing balls and sneakers on concrete greeting them as they approached. The courts were mostly empty, the perfect setting for a little one-on-one.

Azzi grabbed a ball from the rack by the court and dribbled it lightly, glancing at Paige with a competitive gleam in her eye. “How about a game to 11?”

Paige raised an eyebrow. “Loser has to buy dinner?”

Azzi smirked. “That’s the deal. You down?”

“Always,” Paige said, already bouncing on her feet, ready to go.

The game started off slow, both of them sizing each other up, shots made and missed in equal measure. Their laughter filled the air, their competitive edge only making the atmosphere more electric. Paige made a few quick layups, her moves sharp, but Azzi wasn’t far behind, getting into a rhythm and hitting some impressive shots of her own.

Every time Paige thought she had the advantage, Azzi would come back with a play that made her stop and take notice. They were both in their element, pushing each other to the edge, testing each other’s limits.

The score crept closer to 11, each point feeling harder to secure. Paige was breathing a little heavier now, but she kept pushing through, giving it everything she had. Azzi, on the other hand, looked like she was just getting started, her eyes locked in with a focused intensity.

Finally, Azzi hit a clean three-pointer that brought her to 11, the ball swishing through the net with a satisfying sound.

“Yes!” Azzi shouted, raising her arms in victory.

Paige let out a dramatic sigh, putting her hands on her hips. “Guess that means I’m buying the food.”

Azzi grinned, walking over to her and offering a high-five. “You can’t win them all.”

Paige smirked and slapped her hand against Azzi’s. “Yeah, but I was still gonna pay for dinner.”

Azzi blinked in surprise. “What?”

Paige shrugged nonchalantly, turning to grab the ball. “I said I’d do it anyway. No way I’m letting you pay for it after you just won. That’s just how I am.”

Azzi’s face softened, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You really are something, you know that?”

Paige grinned. “It’s a gift. But I’ll still probably get you something extra, to make up for this defeat.”

Azzi rolled her eyes playfully. “You don’t have to do that. You already owe me dinner.”

“True,” Paige said with a wink. “But I’m still getting you dessert.”

They both continued to shoot around after their little competition. 

After a while, they walked off the court together, the afternoon sun hanging low as they chatted and laughed, the game fading into the background as the idea of dinner—and the company they’d share—took center stage.

—------------

Back at Azzi’s dorm, they took turns showering, washing off the sweat from their game. Paige went first, letting the hot water soothe her muscles, the remnants of their competitive match still lingering in her body. By the time she stepped out, towel-drying her hair, Azzi was already grabbing her things, ready to take her turn.

“I’ll be quick,” Azzi said as she disappeared into the bathroom.

Paige smirked. “You better be. I’m getting hungry.”

Azzi just laughed before shutting the door, and Paige took the time to check her phone, scrolling through a few texts and social media notifications while she waited.

Once Azzi was done, she stepped out with damp hair, dressed casually in a hoodie and shorts. Paige had already made herself comfortable on Azzi’s bed, looking up as Azzi ran a towel through her curls.

“So, what’s the plan?” Azzi asked, tossing the towel aside.

Paige grinned. “I was thinking takeaway and a drive-in movie.”

Azzi raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “A drive-in?”

“Yeah,” Paige nodded. “I looked it up while you were in the shower—there’s one not too far from here. Thought it’d be nice. Chill vibes.”

Azzi smiled, clearly liking the idea. “That actually sounds perfect.”

“Alright then,” Paige said, sitting up. “Let’s pack the essentials.”

They grabbed a few blankets, some pillows, and anything else they might need before heading out to Azzi’s car. The night had settled in by the time they left, the air cool but not uncomfortably so. After picking up their food that Paige had ordered from a local takeout spot, they made their way to the drive-in, pulling into a good spot near the back.

Azzi backed the car up, opening the trunk so they could set up in the back. They arranged the blankets and pillows, making a cozy space before climbing in. Azzi settled between Paige’s legs, leaning back against her chest, and Paige instinctively wrapped her arms around her, holding her close. The warmth between them was immediate, and Azzi let out a content sigh as she got comfortable.

“This is nice,” Azzi murmured, tilting her head slightly so their cheeks brushed.

Paige hummed in agreement, tightening her hold slightly. “Yeah. Perfect way to end the night.”

As the movie started, the soft glow from the screen illuminated the cars around them, creating a peaceful, intimate atmosphere. The hum of distant conversations, the occasional honk, and the quiet murmur of the film set the perfect background noise.

Azzi pulled out her phone, unlocking it as she went to Instagram. Paige peeked over her shoulder, watching as Azzi opened the camera, recording a short video of the view around them—the giant screen ahead, the night sky above, and the cozy setup they had in the trunk. Then, with a quick double-tap on the screen, the camera flipped to them.

Azzi grinned, her head leaning into Paige’s as she smiled at the camera. Paige smirked slightly, her arms still wrapped around Azzi as they both sat close, their faces almost touching. The warmth of the moment was captured perfectly—the way they fit together, the ease between them, the quiet intimacy.

Azzi typed out a caption “Nights like this with my bestfriend💗” before glancing at Paige. “I’m posting this on my story.”

Paige chuckled, shaking her head slightly. “Oh, people are definitely gonna go crazy when they see that.”

Azzi smirked, hitting ‘post’ without hesitation. “Oh well, I said with my ‘bestfriend’.”

Paige squeezed her gently. “You want the internet to explode, don’t you?”

Azzi laughed. “Maybe a little.”

Paige just smiled, pressing her chin lightly against Azzi’s shoulder as they settled back into the moment, letting the night carry them away.

—------------

As the night settled in and the movie played in the background, Paige’s mind wandered. She didn’t want to bring it up, didn’t want to ruin the calmness of the moment, but something was nagging at her.

She leaned her head back against the trunk, staring up at the stars for a moment before glancing down at Azzi, who was still curled between her legs, the warmth of her body settling perfectly against Paige’s.

“Azzi,” Paige started softly, her fingers absentmindedly running through Azzi’s hair, “where do we stand?”

Azzi blinked up at her, sensing the shift in Paige’s tone. She tilted her head slightly, meeting Paige’s eyes. “What do you mean?”

Paige hesitated, then spoke quietly, “I mean… are we still dating? Are we going to try to make this work, or are we just kind of… here, you know?”

Azzi’s gaze softened, and she reached up, resting her hand over Paige’s. “We’re still dating, Paige. And we’re working on it. I mean… there’s a lot to work on, but I want to. I want to make this work.”

Paige’s heart fluttered at the simple but reassuring words. She smiled, leaning down to kiss the top of Azzi’s head. “I want that too. I love you, Azzi.”

Azzi smiled up at her, their faces close. “I love you too, Paige.”

Just as the air between them settled with the warmth of their words, Paige’s phone suddenly buzzed, vibrating in her pocket. She glanced down, seeing the group chat with KK and Ice lighting up with notifications.

Her heart sank a little. “Oh no,” she muttered, quickly unlocking her phone.

KK: So, are we calling this the hard launch or what? 👀

Ice: Is this a ‘bestfriend’ or ‘more than bestfriend’ situation? 😜

KK: Wait, Azzi’s caption says ‘nights like this with my bestfriend 💗’… bestfriend? REALLY? 😏

Paige’s face flushed a little, and she couldn’t help but laugh at how quickly the conversation had turned into full-blown teasing. She quickly typed a response.

Paige: You guys are ridiculous, I swear.

But the teasing didn’t stop there. The messages continued to pour in, and Paige’s phone buzzed again, this time with a flood of social media notifications. She saw her story was blowing up, people commenting, liking, and sharing it.

KK: Socials are GOING OFF 😂😂 people are saying they didn’t expect this… some people are like ‘aww cute friends’ and others are straight-up denying y’all are together.

Ice: People are wild. You gotta love the denial. Also, can we just talk about how cute you two are? 😍

Paige could only shake her head, chuckling as she scrolled through the flood of comments. She could see the mix of reactions—some people totally convinced they were dating, some pretending like they weren’t, and others totally oblivious to what was really going on.

Azzi watched Paige, her expression amused as she read through the messages on Paige’s phone. “Looks like you’re causing a stir.”

Paige laughed, raising an eyebrow at Azzi. “You did this. You made the caption.”

Azzi grinned, shrugging nonchalantly. “What can I say? The ‘bestfriend’ part is true cause I mean, you are my bestfriend Paige, and I’m allowed to tease a little. Besides, it’s fun to watch everyone lose their minds.”

Paige smirked, shaking her head. “Well, you’re not wrong. It is pretty funny. But the internet is definitely not ready for what they just saw.”

“Too bad,” Azzi said with a playful wink. “Let them freak out.”

“Yeah, because we’ve got the real thing figured out, don’t we?” Paige’s voice softened, her hand gently resting on Azzi’s.

Azzi’s smile deepened, and she shifted a little, leaning back into Paige’s embrace. “Definitely. They can say what they want. We’re good.”

Paige nodded, closing her phone and setting it aside. “You’re right. Let them talk. We’ll just keep doing us.”

—------------

As the night stretched on, the movie on the screen became nothing more than background noise. Paige and Azzi sat wrapped up in each other, cocooned in their own little world inside the trunk of Azzi’s car. The distant hum of other cars, the occasional laughter from other drive-in guests, and the cool breeze of the night made everything feel strangely serene.

Azzi let out a soft sigh, tilting her head slightly to glance up at Paige. “I’m really happy you came here.” Her voice was quiet but full of meaning, as if the words carried more weight than she was even letting on.

Paige’s grip around her tightened slightly, her chin resting on Azzi’s shoulder. “Yeah?”

Azzi nodded, shifting just enough to look at Paige fully. “Yeah. I mean… after everything, I just—I didn’t know if we were going to get back to this, you know? But now that we have… I don’t know, I feel like I can breathe again.”

Paige took a deep breath, letting the words settle between them. She knew what Azzi meant. The weight of the past few weeks—the uncertainty, the hurt, the mess of it all—had been suffocating. But now, sitting here, with Azzi leaning against her, Paige finally felt grounded again.

“I feel the same way,” Paige admitted, running her fingers gently along Azzi’s arm. “I hated being away from you, Az. Not talking, not knowing if we’d get through this… it sucked.”

Azzi turned slightly in Paige’s hold, facing her more directly, their faces just inches apart. “But we did.” She reached up, cupping Paige’s face gently, her thumb brushing over her cheek. “And I’m so happy we did.”

Paige let her eyes flutter shut for a second, just savoring the warmth of Azzi’s touch. Then she opened them, looking directly into Azzi’s. “Me too.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

For a moment, they just stared at each other, the tension shifting into something softer, deeper. The faint glow from the screen illuminated Azzi’s face, casting her features in a warm light. Paige felt her heart stutter at the sight—at how effortlessly beautiful Azzi looked, how much she had missed this, missed her.

Azzi’s gaze flickered to Paige’s lips for just a second before she leaned in, closing the distance between them. The kiss started slow, tentative at first, as if they were both still processing how much they had missed this. But then Paige’s hands moved—one sliding to the small of Azzi’s back, the other curling into her hoodie, pulling her in closer.

Azzi responded instantly, deepening the kiss, her fingers slipping into Paige’s hair as she tilted her head just enough to mold against her perfectly. There was no urgency, no rush—just the warmth of their lips moving together, the unspoken emotions between them pouring into the kiss.

Paige sighed softly against Azzi’s lips, letting herself sink into the feeling. It wasn’t just a kiss—it was reassurance, a promise, a welcome home.

Azzi pulled back slightly, her forehead resting against Paige’s, their breaths mingling in the small space between them. Her lips were slightly swollen, and Paige knew hers probably were too.

“I really, really love you,” Azzi murmured, her voice full of emotion.

Paige’s lips curled into a small smile, her hand tightening at Azzi’s waist. “I really, really love you too.”

Azzi let out a quiet, happy hum, her fingers still threading through Paige’s hair. “I don’t ever want to do that again—go through all of that. I know we’re still working on things, but… I don’t want to be without you, P.”

Paige kissed her again, just a soft peck this time. “You won’t be. We’re in this, Az. We’ll figure everything out.”

Azzi smiled against Paige’s lips before pulling back, snuggling into her embrace again. “Good. Because I’m not letting you go.”

Paige chuckled, resting her chin on top of Azzi’s head. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

And with that, they sat there, wrapped up in each other, feeling happier and more at peace than they had in a long time.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[i23kazu]

♡ GENSHIN MEN & STUDYING WITH YOU

characters. xiao diluc kaeya childe wriothesley lyney alhaitham x gn!reader genre. romantic fluff. an. i need motivation. they are my motivation | please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D

xiao

he's the one who's a all the noise-cancellation, blacklisted apps kind of student. everything is on lockdown and on do not disturb mode – please don't disturb him. poke him with your pen and you'll just see him roll his eyes at you– no, seriously- it's not worth it! however, xiao is also a really good student ; always on task, even on the subjects that he absolutely despises. ask him to tutor you and he might grumble and groan, but what happens when the tutor falls in love with his student?

diluc

possibly the class rep. studying with him is a express ticket to resources that teachers had given him because of his high-class status. he's not proud of it – he believes that each student deserves the chance to have the same access as him – which is why he's willing to share it with you as well. we didn't even have to meet up, you could just have sent it over- you whine, but the tinge of crimson on his cheeks is a telltale sign that perhaps he needed- no, wanted, this excuse.

kaeya

the teasy study buddy. watch him annoy the hell out of you– you know he's teasing, but sometimes it hurts. "haha, i thought i taught you this already? does the little bunny not have enough space in there?" he taps your head with his pen. it's only when your face crumples and you start to mumble out apologies, teardrops cockling your paper – that he panics. "shit- i'm sorry– how can i make it better?" he wipes your tears away. he makes it up with a sweet kiss and a stack of gift cards to your favourite cafes.

childe

he's the friend who keeps you going, truly. if sunshine was bottled up and wrapped with a bow and had an orange cap, it would be childe! watching your face fall after staring at algebra simply won't do, no, no. let him lead you as he tugs on your hands outside of the study room, and just let your feet follow in his footsteps – you'll find yourself outside the library cafe. "alright, it's on me! what do you want?" maybe his wallet is a little lighter, but so is his heart, once he sees your face light up.

wriothesley

wriothesley is the one who has it all planned out. first, you'll start studying at 10pm... which is a little late, but it's alright. you'll get tired around midnight, which will be when he offers you the first cup of chamomile. "won't this put me to sleep?" you whine, accepting it from him anyways. he chuckles and runs his hands through your hair, replying that it's never worked on him. true enough, you start getting sleepy around half past one – finally leaning against his shoulder, your arms going slack. kissing your head, he drapes a blanket around you. good night, (y/n).

lyney

the one who sits besides you, cracking jokes every now and then! but when it's time to study, he can buckle down and start doing work –that's just lyney – the human on and off switch. there's something about him doing work while twirling his poker cards in his hands that's just so mesmerising – a stare too long catches his eye, and he starts doing a trick for you. get back to work!, you laugh and playfully swat his shoulder, turning back to your own paper. he chuckles in return, and unbeknownst to you, turns back with a smile.

alhaitham

alhaitham can be stricter as a study buddy – he's stern with distractions, wanting you to keep your phone to the side as he's explaining concepts – yes, concepts you learnt, but never understood. "hey, eyes here. did you understand, or do i need to go through it again?" he sounds bored, and you feel sorry for him. you mumble a soft i understand back, and he sighs and tells you to take a break. "look up." your eyes trail up from your phone, and instinctively close as he presses a sweet kiss to your forehead.

taglist: @tiredsleep @loptido @raincxtter @chichikoi @ladyadii @soulsanta @sheiiths @genshinparty @eowinthetraveler @moonbyunniee @legitnoi @lemontum @manager-of-the-pudding-bank @starz222 @ilyuu @cherry-colored-petals @mondaymelon @tartaglia-apologist @soleillunne @m1shapanda @aimynx @smokipoki @adeptuscharm @diorlumx @vennnnn-diagram @ryuryuryuyurboat @yuminako @st0pthatsgay @aqualesha @sixtynintharchon @supernova25 @kunikuda-simp @starglitterz @rin-nyrasti-writes @mxyarylla (send ask/comment to be added to taglist)

reblogs w/ tags & comments help me lots !!! if you liked this, consider dropping me a follow as well :-)

[immortalbumblebee]

Kiss It Better?

Young!Vander x Medic!Reader

First Vander one-shot in *checks notes* three years! Holy Shit y’all! Had two separate asks from ppl wanting a medic!reader soooo here we go!

It’s good to be back

Masterlist

The clinic was dimly lit, the hum of faulty fluorescent bulbs blending with the faint metallic clangs from the mines outside. It smelled of antiseptic and iron, a scent you’d come to associate with long nights and questionable patients. Back then, you were still green, running on coffee and ambition under the sharp gaze of an older, jaded medic. And yet, even with your mentor’s grim mutterings about wasting resources on “repeat offenders,” he always came back.

The pit fighter swaggered in like clockwork—dust and sweat clinging to his skin, his knuckles split and bloodied or some fresh stab wound marring his side. A walking disaster, and yet somehow grinning through the pain, cracking some awful joke the moment you picked up a suture kit. You used to roll your eyes, scoff at his shameless flirting, brushing off his comments as easily as you patched him up.

But after a few months, when he insisted on waiting for you even when another medic was available, something shifted. You started noticing the way his gravelly voice softened when he talked to you, the way his laughter filled the quiet corners of the clinic. And against your better judgment—against all your judgment—you began to look forward to those visits. It was maddening, really, the warmth you felt when he called you “doc” like it was a nickname meant only for you.

The sigh you let out feels like it’s been building for hours, maybe days. As you press your fingers into your temples, you try—really try—to recall what it was about this infuriating man that once made your stomach flip. The memory is distant, hazy, like trying to grasp smoke.

“You…” you start, pausing as though the sheer absurdity of the situation has stolen the rest of your words. “You fought a man three times your size?”

“Yup.” His response is maddeningly casual, accompanied by the faintest smirk on his stupidly chiseled face. Like he hadn’t just dragged himself in here looking like a near-death experience wrapped in bruises.

“And you thought this was a good idea…why?” you ask, more exasperated than concerned. You’re not sure why you bother asking anymore; his explanations rarely hold water.

He leans back on the examination table, as if your question requires deep thought, though the glint in his eye says otherwise. “Maybe to get some more time with you, gorgeous.”

Your jaw drops slightly before you clamp it shut, heat rising to your face despite every effort to suppress it. “Unbelievable,” you mutter, grabbing for the antiseptic. His grin only widens.

As you began to apply the serum to his wounds, Vander sat on the edge of the exam table, his broad shoulders hunched, shirt torn and bloodied as you worked to clean the deep gash along his ribs. He barely flinched at the pain, but you could see the tension in his jaw, the way his hands gripped the edge of the table like he was bracing for a fight that wouldn’t come.

“You’re too old for this,” you muttered, your tone more fond exasperation than scolding.

He chuckled, the sound low and warm. “Could’ve fooled me.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t argue, focused on your task. He watched you, his gaze heavy but soft, as if you were the only steady thing in a world full of chaos.

“You take better care of everyone else than you do yourself,” you finally said, taping the bandage in place.

“And you take better care of me than I deserve,” he replied, his voice quiet, almost reverent.

You paused, caught off guard by the honesty in his words, before shaking your head and packing up the supplies. “Please try not to make this a habit,” you said, knowing full well he wouldn’t. But the faint smile he gave you, a mix of gratitude and something deeper.

As you step closer, lifting the damp cloth to the cut along his cheekbone, Vander tenses—just slightly, almost imperceptibly—but it’s enough for his hand to shoot up, catching yours mid-motion. You freeze, startled, but the pressure of his touch is unexpected: not the iron grip of a pit fighter, but something softer, deliberate, as if he’s afraid he might hurt you.

Your gaze snaps to his, and for a moment, the room feels smaller, quieter. His calloused thumb grazes the veins on your wrist, a slow, almost unconscious movement that sends a warmth skittering up your arm.

“I’ll try to be gentle,” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper. You’re not sure why you feel the need to apologize, but the words slip out before you can stop them. “I’m sorry.”

His lips twitch into a faint smile, the kind that feels more like reassurance than amusement. “It’s fine,” he says, his voice low and steady. “Just… surprised me, is all.”

The silence stretches, but it doesn’t feel uncomfortable. Slowly, his hand slips away, and you return to your task, though now your fingers tremble faintly. For all his strength, all his rough edges, moments like this remind you of the man beneath the fighter. And for some reason, that makes it even harder to focus.

“What’d you say to me taking you out tonight?” Vander asks, his tone laced with that easy flirtation you’ve come to expect. There’s no edge to it, no weight to sway your answer—just an offer, simple and open.

You roll your eyes, the corners of your lips twitching despite yourself. “You visit a free clinic twice a week,” you say, giggling as you finish securing the bandage on his arm. “You can’t afford a night out with me.”

He leans in, close enough that you catch the faint scent of smoke and leather, his voice dropping to a warm rumble. “If it’s you,” he says, eyes locked on yours, “it’ll be worth it.”

Your cheeks heat under his gaze, but you refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing you falter. “You’re impossible,” you mutter, brushing past him to clean up your tools. But even with your back turned, you can feel his grin—and the weight of his words—lingering in the air behind you.

“You know the bar across from Jericho’s?” you ask, still facing away as you organize the tools on the counter. You don’t need to look to know Vander’s posture shifts—straightening up on the table as if he’s been caught off guard.

“Yeah?” he replies, cautious but curious.

Finally, you turn just enough to catch his eye, a smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. “Nine o’clock sharp,” you say, tilting your head toward him. “And you better be wearing something nicer than this,” you gesture vaguely at his torn, bloodstained shirt, “or I’m leaving.”

Suture kit in hand, you step back toward him, fully prepared to get to work on the fresh wound on his arm. But before you can begin, his face lights up with a smile so boyish and bright it nearly stops you in your tracks.

“Oh, trust me, Love,” he says, leaning just a little closer, his voice soft but sure. “I’ll be there.”

You roll your eyes, but the warmth in your chest betrays you. As you thread the needle, you find yourself already imagining what he might look like when he shows up. Because, for all his teasing and bravado, you know he wouldn’t dare miss it.

[atyourmerci]

† Salvation †

Read pt.1 and pt.2

†

Summary: finale of repent series! Drabble of abby and readers life after abby comes to terms with her sexuality. Happy ever after lesbos<3

Warnings: smut, MDNI, switch!abby, switch!reader, religion play of course, strap usage, refers to strap as cock, cunnilingus, overstimulation, bondage, smnophilia, dirty talk yurrrr, some fluff

A/N: thank you so much for all of the love on this series!! Religious guilt/trauma is a tricky subject and I’m glad that I was able to portray it in a light that most of you could relate or sympathize with. And yall im so bad at writing fluff that’s why this is so short lmao that’s why I only write smut. I’m so excited to write through more niche experiences and topics. Love you like always<3

†

That night was nothing like the first. Your God showed mercy, wrapping your cold, shaky body with cloth and carrying you to where it all started.

This time she held you and never left, she was there was the sun came beaming down, drying out your soaked hair. While you were asleep she had removed her cross and strung it along your neck. Maybe there was no need hold a token of a god she had already met, maybe she wanted everyone else to know- you never cared to question her antics.

After your mission had ended she immediately broke things off with Owen, reclaimed herself within the community. And she for one took no shit with the commentary from anyone about the two of you. Her life mission was to protect you at all costs now, you were all she knew. She wouldn’t leave your side anymore. Anything you did she made sure she was there to protect you, she wouldn’t put your life in anyone else’s hands but her own.

There was a lot of things you had to teach Abby, and by teach, that meant showing her with your legs wide open. On a mission you both were sent out on to look for resources you ran across a run down sex shop. You found a girthy dildo with black leather straps, it was bigger than anything you’d ever taken but with the look of excitement on Abby’s face you couldn’t say no to her. You told her you could use it on her but she insisted on fucking you right there over the counter at the dusty sex shop. She wasted no time dragging your pants down to your ankles and ripping your panties seams to get inside, ”I’d tell you to suck my cock first but you’re so fucking wet already, how bad have you wanted this,hmmm?” She promised she’d go slow, walking you through it, “fuck you’re doing so good, taking me so well for your first time.” After your pain had been replaced with sheer pleasure she couldn’t hold back anymore, pumping into you so hard there was sure to be bruises all over your hips. After abusing your hole for an hour for her own amusement she finally let you cum while drawing circles around your swollen clit as she pounded deep and slow thrust into you. you were so cockdrunk she had to carry you back to the truck and finish the mission herself, it went by quickly as she imagined things she could do to you next with her cock.

She loved showering with you at night, she never let you lift a finger, washing your body gently after sneaking in the strap into the showers. Maybe it was because she learned how to fuck you in the showers that it made her so dominant in that environment. She wouldn’t let you touch her in there even after you begged her while she pinned your arms against the wall, overstimulating your clit over and over again until she was done with you. After she’d run you a bath and hold your fragile body as she ran soapy strips up and down your bruised skin, making sure to kiss every inch so that never missed an atom of your being.

Abby only regressed back into her old ways when she let you take complete control. She’d let you tie her to the bed you shared edging her till she was in tears, babbling prayers to climax. You’d tie her cross necklace around her clit and tug on it while you used your tongue to fuck her dripping hole. You’d only let her cum after she got on her knees like a whore eating away at your cunt while you shamed her for her sins.

Your life with abby wasn’t like anything you’d ever experienced before, but there was no before her, or after her. There was only your god, and hers.

Maybe she had still repented for her sins, maybe she had reached salvation at the mercy of your own sins.

Taglist: @wishbones999 @bookpagecandlescent @littlegingerperson2 @lanafresitas @lookforthelight1 @fict1onallyobsessed

[alwayscorvus]

Hello! I like your headcanons and I would like to suggest an idea. Can I request Jiyan from Wuthering Waves with a reader who was a slave in childhood and still has a barcode on his/her neck? I'm sorry if there are mistakes. English is not my native language 💕

Barcode on my neck

malereader x Jiyan, fluff;

warning! some heavy topics mentioned but no drastic details and no sexual aspects about reader

Brooo thats such a good idea. Like I would want to read something similar myself, I just don't know why exactly I got this request when I don't have enough telent to use this potential :”) Still thx and here it is:

And don't worry about your english, i'm not a native speaker either

Officially no more Jiyan request, I ran out of screenshots to make graphics [*] nah jk jk but this profile is really changing from wuwa profile to jiyan profile while im better with other characters…

You were never ashamed of your “mark,” as you used to call it. You also never hid your past. Yes, it may not have been bright and you would have given up a lot to be able to avoid it. But it also made you who you are right now. It turned you into a tough person. True, you could have grown up that way under less tragic circumstances. But at least you tried to take comfort in the fact that maybe thanks to your sacrifice someone else didn't have to suffer. That maybe you took someone else's place. Place of someone who wouldn't have had the will to fight to survive. Persistence that would allow them to free themself from this chains. Besides, ever since you regained your freedom you have been doing your best to crack down the idea of slavery for good.

You gained strength and attitude while still being young. Since childhood you served under corrupt nobility. Cleaning, running with tea, feeding farm animals. Year after year carrying heavier and heavier goods. From behind the curtains, watching your master, negotiating more and more deals.

This gave you the foundation for starting your own organization. Sure, at first you worked alone. But over time, others joined in. People with the same ideas, those you saved, or those who lost their siblings in similar circumstances.

At first you had to dispense justice by force. As infamous as it may sound. With tricks, you snatched victims from the hands of their oppressors. With fights you made them understand to never make the same mistake again. Back then, it was the only solution. When army couldn't help. And even refused to, bribed with money stained by suffering of innocents. When law changed, people got more aware, and slavery finally became a fact, not just a taboo topic swept under the rug, it was easier for you. Since society began to exterminate what you were fighting against, you could move on to less drastic methods.

You pretended to be important figures, gathered evidence, brought anonymously to the court. You traveled around and saved more and more. Even though you could never get enough, you were proud of what you had accomplished.

For some time. Until you met him.

Jiyan. He was the sweetest and most caring person on world. Always looking out for others. Put other people's well-being above his own. Never forgot to send his subordinates on much-deserved vacation. While he himself stayed up all night in the base. He rushed them to lunch and dinner while he forgot to eat. Moved to the front line, taking the most damage and rescuing his close ones. He was just so kind. So generous, thoughtful. And what's more, so intelligent, hardworking, resourceful. You were totally head over heels for him. And no, you would never in your life suspect him of supporting slavery or showing no sympathy for those who went through it. But you were still afraid of his reaction. Suddenly you felt dirty. After all, conditions in which you “worked” were awful. Especially when they sent you to the animals. You didn't maintain basic hygiene. You weren't worth wasting water on it. Except the time of guests visits, you walked around the residence in sacks. Until they tore to the rest. Your master didn't even bother to look at you. Would it have been the same with Jiyan? Would he feel disgusted? Start keeping you at distance? Or would he take you at his mercy? Start looking at you only through the prism of your past? Stop using your full potential?

Your heart would probably break at this sight that would accompany it. You wouldn't be able to stand it.

For the first time since childhood, you began to feel ashamed of the black ink adorning your neck.

When visiting Huanglong for the first time and meeting Jiyan, you put your organization on hold and covered your neck with thick turtlenecks.

You joined the army as a volunteer. Served under Jiyan's command. You spent more and more time together, and your friendship grew. You matched each other perfectly and both of you caught each other's eye. Your relationship moved smoothly to a higher level.

General never picked too much interest your unusual tastes. But one particularly hot summer he began to look suspiciously at your closet. Worried about your health, looking for potential disorders in your sense of temperature that could later threaten your well-being. He began to ask if you weren't feeling too hot. Whether everything was alright. After all, he covered himself up pretty well, but his clothes were made of a special, highly breathable fabric. To ease the situation you followed his footsteps and provided your closet with similar outfits. Though in a different color theme. Jiyan was satisfied, but only for a moment. It was really starting to get suspicious. Especially when you started sharing a bedroom with each other. He could understand sleeping wrapped up in the winter. But during the vacations? Were you ashamed of him? Jiyan began to feel insecure. He started to blame himself.

You saw this and couldn't forgive yourself.

Yet you were still afraid.

In the end, Jiyan couldn't stand it. At one evening, he pulled you onto a bed for a talk. You avoided his gaze while he looked at you hopefully.

You both held hands. Jiyan gently massaged your palm with his thumb, trying to give you some encouragement. And you squeezed him to the point when it started to feel unbearable.

Finally, you let him go. A shudder of anxiety went through Jiyan. Had he overstepped the boundaries? Did he make you feel uncomfortable? Did he just ruin everything that you two had built together? Do you want nothing to do with him anymore?

But you just closed your eyes, took a deep breath and reached for the hem of your clothing. You pulled it upward. Slowly exposing your body. You tossed the material aside and waited.

Jiyan looked at you surprised. Concerned, he began to scan your body. Too worried to be carried away by feelings that caused him to blush slightly at the sight of your sculpted stomach.

General was searching for something. Some kind of mark. A scar or a birthmark. Something that could “taint” your chest. He furrowed his brow unable to see anything.

You waited and waited. But after no response, you sighed again. You leaned your neck to expose it better. A row of numbers and a barcode made with some crappy ink appeared in front of Jiyan's eyes.

He froze. You could only hear him gasping for air in shock and when a pile of thoughts rushed through his head. He involuntarily lifted his hand up and you shuddered slightly.

-Can I?

You nodded. It's not like you could take it back anymore.

You felt a touch on your neck. Gentle, warm fingertips caused a pleasant tingling sensation. Forgetting the meaning of your mark, you earned a flush similar to that adorning your partner.

-Is that-…?

He wanted to confirm but words got caught in his throat. He was devastated. And at the same time so bloody sorrowful.

-Yes. It's a barcode. Exactly like the ones worn by slaves. Same ones to which I also belonged.

You explained briefly not wanting to prolong the moment. It was hard for you anyway. Not exactly because you were going back to the past but rather because you were worried about the future.

Jiyan didn't know how to respond. He never showed his emotions too boldly. He didn't have any special communication skills. Oh how damn sorry he was when he couldn't pour out all his feelings onto you. This sympathy and love that was once taken from you.

He clenched his fists tightly and ground his teeth.

You knew him well enough to know that he didn't know how to deal with this. This information had to be too overwhelming for him. Exactly as you expected. His well-being was the most important thing for you. So you had to reassure him as soon as possible.

-It happened when I was still a kid. I got sold at young age. I was mainly a helper, bottle washer. I got hit a few times, but as you can see not often enough or-... hard enough- to leave any scars. I didn't live in the best conditions, but for the men it wasn't the worst. You don't have to worry about that. My owners have never crossed the line.

You stuttered out quickly. As you got older, you talked about your feelings unmoved. Trying to take away any impact from these events. Not wanting to burden Jiyan more and really get over it.

You were afraid of rejection.

But it never came.

Not from Jiyan. Your Jiyan.

-Oh, [M/N]-

General let out a concerned voice, which you heard from his mouth for the first time in your life. After a moment, you got locked in a tight hug.

-I can't undo what you had to go through, but I can promise that I will try to make each of your future days the best ones in your life. To me, you will always be my [M/N]. And nothing will change that.

He assured, and your eyes filled with tears. You could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

After a night full of thrills, a new day had come. With a fresh approach to life, you borrowed some looser black shirt from Jiyan. Revealing your barcode, you felt yourself radiating a powerful and intimidating vibe once again. A confident smirk appeared on your face.

As you passed by the soldiers on your way through the camp, you could feel their stares. Familiar whispers, exchanged remarks. An experience so well-known to you. Once again, you felt comfortable in front of others, making them aware that such things really did happen.

But this too had to end. As you sat in your office chair, looking through a pile of documents, with your feet carelessly thrown over a table. You heard someone gasp. One of the recruits, by coincidence one of those you helped to train recently. He stared in fear with his eyes wide open and mouth gaping. Almost burning a hole in your barcode.

Again, an unpleasant shiver went through you. You didn't know why it set you off so much, after all, he reacted just like dozens other people you've passed today, maybe just a little more abruptly. Or... maybe you knew. What made this situation different from previous ones was Jiyan's presence. You were used to these reactions, he was not. Again, you were afraid of how this would affect him. Again, unnecessarily so.

General stood by a wall with a large screen displaying Huanglong's territories under threat of attack. He was analyzing next moves till he got startled by a sudden silence. The way you stopped looking through papers and clanking with a mug of hot coffee.

He turned around in a hurry and situation that he found definitely didn't please him.

He cleared his throat.

-If you have nothing to say rookie, I would advise you to return to your work immediately - Jiyan replied coldly.

Without considering any questions from the soldier.

Young boy panicked slightly, while you smiled triumphantly at that.

This possessive, fierce side of Jiyan that you hadn't known before, especially towards his subordinates... You liked it damn well.

[potchi-fics]

attitude (last part of councilor)

i | ii

      you’re the type to get whatever you want no matter what, you will do everything in your power to have it even if it means making enemies for you to succeed.

“councilors, we have to take in mind that our resources will be wasted if we choose to help zaun,” councilor salo’s booming voice started your day, “i say let them be.”

however, councilor sevika countered his statement, “with all due respect, that is the stupidest shit i have ever heard. how are we supposed to have a starting point if we have no resources to begin with?”

      a smile threatens to break into your face, finding sevika’s vulgar choice of words amusing. you lean back into your seat and cross your legs, hoping to see the outcome between the two arguing councilors. you gawk at her intense expression, how her hand tightly forms a fist, or how her jaw clenches every time she hears salo. the things you’d do to touch her, to feel her firm muscles, you are salivating. 

“councilor,” you’re brought back to the meeting by another councilor calling out to you, “what are your thoughts on this matter?”

“well, to use councilor sevika’s words, that is the stupidest shit i have ever heard. sure, zaun is independent now, but we will still need to lend help to their nation— funding, resources.” you give sevika a nod of acknowledgment, backing her up, “and piltover’s resources will not be wasted nor run out.”

“how can you say that, councilor?” these old bitches are getting on your nerve.

you stand up and put your palms against the table, “let us check the factors: for one, piltover is rich in land, water, and even free from pollution. second, we are free to trade with one another, for which zaun cannot due to no connections, or other nations refusing to build a connection with them.”

      you see them shrink back at your tone, you huff out a sigh and sit back down, looking at sevika while doing so. she brings her hand up to her lips, rubbing her jaw using her thumb in thought. 

you want her.

…

      alexandria meets you outside of the room, ready to do everything you ask her to. she falls into step beside you.

“what happened?” your face must have shown confusion, “you look tense and stressed, i figure something must’ve happened.”

your tongue clicks against the rooftop of your mouth and your eyes roll, “nothing happened, child.”

“sure, whatever you say,” she snorts, “i think you’ll be happy to hear that councilor sevika is asking for you to meet her in her office.”

you take a glance of surprise at her, “why would i be happy?”

“‘cus you want to have sex with her.”

“do not say such a thing,” you stop walking abruptly, looking at her like she’s some mad woman.

alexandria only shrugs off your stern tone, “you’re not exactly subtle about it, councilor. you better hurry up, councilor sevika is waiting for you.”

      because of your ridiculous conversation, you haven’t noticed that she’s led you to sevika’s office, you’re standing right outside her room. you could only give your daughter a look while she’s off laughing like she won a reward.

you lick your lips before raising your knuckles to knock, waiting for a few seconds to hear her muffled voice say come in, and you do. the moment you see her in her seat, eyes looking down at some paperwork on her table, only wearing a black tank top, you’re done for.

“councilor,” she gestures for you to take a seat.

you calmly do so, never forgetting to cross your legs, “why have you called me here, councilor? you’ve missed me, yes?”

“no,” she replies without even looking at you, “you’re here because i wanted to say… thank you for earlier.”

oh? 

“as you know, im not really good at shit like this, but,”

you interrupt her, standing up and walking around her table to be beside her, “sevika, i know.”

      she finally looks at you, dropping her pen and adjusting her chair so that she’s facing you. 

“i really am delighted to see you like this, sevika, i am sorry for how we… parted.” you raise your hand to touch her cheek using the back of your hand, and you don’t see her pull away.

      she seizes your wrist, you think she’s gonna push you away but she kisses your palm, pulling you softly towards her— you land on her, straddling her. you’ve missed this, you never truly stopped looking for her. she continues to kiss your palm, letting her lips glide across it, closing her eyes at your warmth. with your vacant hand, you rest it on her shoulder, savoring this moment between you two.

without thinking, you set your forehead against her, headbutting her lightly. this takes you both back, back to when you shared a bed, back to when you would share a kiss, back to when the two of you would be just… yourselves.

“you can say it, you know,” your breath fans over her, “i know you’ve missed me, councilor sevika.”

sevika moves her hand to your waist, “don’t think i didn’t see you checking me out earlier.”

      the comment sets your face ablaze, embarrassment written on it, you cough to try to cover it up but her smirk tells you otherwise. you pull away to look to the side but her hand brings you back to face her. her strong fingers bring heat to your core, making your thighs clench around her thighs. your right hand travels down to the waistband of her pants, lightly scratching her toned stomach, and resting it on her belt buckle. 

you see her look down, urging you to unbuckle it and you do. your fingers timidly work on it, weakly unbuttoning it. and when you finally do, she spreads her legs wider. goosebumps appear all over her body once she feels your fingers play with her happy trail, trailing it up and down with your faint touch. 

you stare at her with a glazed look, you lean closer, and you swear on your life, her eyes are begging you to do it: kiss me. slipping your hand inside her pants, you finally close the distance— but a knock interrupts you two, making you scramble onto your feet. 

“let go, sevika,” you hastily climb off of her, stumbling up onto your feet.

she curses under her breath, her head leaning back against her chair, “come in.”

      the figure steps into the room.

“margot?” sevika’s mood sours.

      the woman, margot, saunters over to her, choosing to stand a tad too close to your liking. she touches sevika’s shoulder, rather intimately. you squint your eyes at sevika, with her staring back at you looking rather speechless.

“sevika,” margot whines, “i’ve missed you.”

      with that, you take it as your cue to leave. before sevika could utter a word, you gave her a nod before coldly walking out of her office, anger swimming in your veins. you leave before you can see how sevika pulls away from margot.

your irritation is evident with how you stride, you make a beeline for your own office, desperate to drink your frustrations away. spotting your door, you open it but before it can close behind you, it slams wide open again, a gasp of surprise emitting from you.

you look behind and see sevika, “what is the matter with you?”

      she doesn’t give you any response, only closing your poor door and locking it. she takes a step forward and you take a step back, that goes on until your backside hits your table, rattling the things on it. she pins you against it, and you put both of your hands on her chest, stopping her from making any more advancements. 

“what,” your pitch mocking her, “why are you here? she misses you, doesn’t she?”

      sevika grasps your nape to pull you, smashing your lips together, your teeth clashing. you hate how you kiss back right away, you hate how you grip her black wifebeater to bring her even closer. her hand leaves your neck to swipe your things off of the table, and you make an effort to pull away however she doesn’t budge an inch, instead, she pushes you to sit on your now-empty furniture; lodging herself between your legs. 

she gives your jaw a peck, calloused fingers glide against the side of your thigh, and she goes back up to kiss you on your lips, her touch leaving bumps in their wake. she swallows in your whimpers, her tongue invading your mouth and licking every goddamn part of it— you’re panting now, chest going up and down, your breath short as you try to breathe through your nose. 

sevika’s only hand travels inside the hem of your dress, pushing itself through the slit: i am a fucking genius, you think to yourself.

you two separate from your heated kiss, her breath fanning over your red ear, “i dont care if she misses me.”

“how about you show me instead, councilor sevika?” you see her belt is still undone, “in fact, i’d rather feel it.”

      the image of her running after you with her belt undone, that is forever engrained in your mind. you pull her by the belt loop of her pants and trace her happy trail, slowly slithering inside her pants, past her boxers. her head falls on your shoulder, your warm touch weakening her entire system, she lets out a low growl from the back of her throat, your hand cupping her wet cunt.

you tease her clit, rubbing soft circles on it, sevika lets out a whimper from your action, spurring you more. your free hand finds itself inside her t-shirt, scraping her back— starting from her tailbone up to her nape before settling on the back of her head. you yank her head back to put your swollen lips against her once more. 

broken sighs of pleasure fill your office, along with your own. she struggles to stand up when you finally slide two fingers in, experimenting by slowly curling them, hitting her spot just right. each prod and poke emits a broken moan from her, just by the sounds could make you cum right there and there.

“go sit, sev,” your tender order contradicts the harsh thrust of your fingers inside of her.

      she grunts in annoyance but still stands up with your legs wrapping around her hips. she quickly makes her up on your chair behind the desk, not wanting to disrupt your flow. back to your position earlier, you lean back to admire the view: sevika’s dilated pupils, her shirt sticking to her sweaty body, her mouth slightly agape, and with your hand in her pants, knuckle deep inside.

“so good for me,” you adore how she closes her eyes at the praise, tightening around your fingers, “so so good for me.”

      your pace gets faster and harder, and although your arm is aching, you pay no mind. you focus on making her cum. her hand grips the armrest of your chair when the tip of your fingers hits that specific spot.

you kiss her jaw, “right here?”

“right there, fuck,” her shattered grunts egg you on to keep going.

you grip her jaw, forcing her to open her eyes and look at you, “you belong to me now, councilor.”

      your glistening iris glare at her, she could only lunge forward to kiss you. you curl your fingers just right and she’s falling apart like putty in your hands. she breaks the kiss to bury her face in your neck, her strong arm around your torso, squeezing you due to the intensity of her orgasm. 

“shit,” she’s breathless, ears ringing, “fuck.”

       you ride her orgasm out, slowly coming to a stop when she whispers you ‘too much’. her body slumps back into the chair, she looks up at you: she looks so disheveled, so fucked out. 

you pull your tired hand out of her pants to touch yourself, the need becoming stronger. her appearance excites you. the big bad wolf of zaun is at your mercy, looking so desperate. your dress hikes up and your fingers meet your own puffy clit, feeling how hot and wet it is. you give sevika a show, rubbing your cunt, tracing it slowly, spreading your slickness— she watches carefully, of course, it is you we’re talking about.

your tongue darts out to lick your drying lips and her gaze connects with yours and she loses it.

she lifts you and pushes you back on the table but only this time, you’re on your back and your legs are on her broad shoulders. without warning, she sliders your underwear aside and dives right in. you don’t get a chance to react because she’s already licking your clit, her fingers spreading you apart.

dainty hands rest themselves on top of sevika’s head, neither pulling nor pushing it. her tongue toys with your sensitive cunt, slurping noises embarrass you but you don’t have time for that because she is devouring you. her name falls off your lips but a knock makes you wrap your thighs tightly around her head to make her stop.

“councilor,” it’s alexandria, “i have your schedule for the week.”

“yes, yes,” panic dares to lace your voice but you hold out, “come back later.”

      the word later gets stuck in your throat due to sevika forcing your legs right open and sucking your pussy, your hand flying up to cover a moan that is threatening to come out. you push her forehead, quietly telling her to stop. but she’s relentless, you taste divine to her.

“are you sure? i can just leave it there inside–”

you throw your head back at a particularly harsh such, “return later, alexandria.”

      you think it convinced her to go later but you’re not sure, too focused on the pleasure that sevika is giving you. the way she plays with your clit, it makes you shudder in pleasure. you can’t breathe properly— you’re about to cum.

seems like sevika notices because she inserts her middle and ring finger, making you jolt on your table, legs shaking at the added pleasure. she pulls out only to insert another finger. tears are forming in your eyes, and your sight is beginning to blur.

giving one last suck on your puffy clit and a curl of her fingers, you come undone. you chant her name like a broken record, mewling at your orgasm riding out. after a few seconds, the pumps of her fingers slowly come to a halt when you grip her wrist.

“too sensitive, sevika,” your throat hurts.

she rests her cheek on your thigh, “you’ve never lost me, councilor. your attitude is a bit of a problem, you know.”

“councilor sevika,” you weakly sit up, the orgasm taking a toll on you. your shaky hands grab her cheeks, pulling her in, “shut it.”

[zoophilic-disorder]

🌱 Welcome to my account for people like me (but really anyone).

This is a primarily positivity blog for those with zoophilia, but I will work to have education, discussion, and community as well.

If you're a zoophile and struggle with finding any sort of community outside of pro-contact/animal abuse rings, please have hope. There are resources and places for you to be okay and not worry about harming an animal. These thoughts can be violent, scary, and deeply uncomfortable and unsettling, but you will be okay, and you will not act on them.

Feel free to send requests for posts! (ie. "Can you make affirmations for zoos who..."Can you make a positivity post for zoos who are..." or anything really, as long as it's relevant).

🌱 This blog advocates for:

• destigmatization of paraphilias, primarily zoophilia.

• anti harassment against anyone.

• pro fiction- acting out fantasies and attractions in fictional settings to cope does not make you a bad person, and you are not failing at "repressing" your paraphilia.

• anti offending/contact stances for any paraphilia that's harmful to act on. there will be no posts that cater towards other stances.

• understanding that paraphilias cannot be "cured" and instead must be accepted and coped with healithy to survive.

• saving people. you should not die simply because you have a paraphilia, your life is valuable and wanted, and you are not disgusting.

🌱 About Me & Tag Key below the line...

My name is Sprout (they/them)!

I'm 21 years old, and I'm physically disabled, which may cause me to post less than I want due to flareups. I'm also wasian- I'm unsure if this will be entirely relevant here, but I'm mentioning it regardless in case discussions come up about the POC community (especially asian) when it comes to paraphiles, and the differing experiences.

And of course, I've suspected being a zoophile since I was a young child.

I've struggled with thoughts, urges, and attractions for a long time, bringing in self-harmful or otherwise self-destructive behavior. I've been riddled with guilt for simply existing and having a disorder I had no control over, one that made me absolutely miserable (and still does to an extent).

Looking for community was impossible. It felt like there were two sides- people who wanted those like me dead, and people who genuinely wanted to act on their thoughts. Both were insufferable, but I ended up choosing the side that hated zoophiles out of disgust and fear.

I also wasn't certain at the time whether what I was experienced was zOCD, or an actual zoophilic disorder. This year, 2024, is when I finally came to the understanding I do not have zOCD, it became impossible to ignore anymore. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed, with nowhere to go.

I wonder if the reason the pro-beastiality side of the community got so large is because people kept running out of options and eventually gave up looking for a better one.

So I want to try and help mend that, and try to start proper support groups for those like me, who just want a shoulder to lean on, someone to talk to, and comfort.

🌱 Tagging System

#🐾 discussion - talking about zoophilia in any way. I wish this was a general tag that all zoos would use so we could find each other, since any other zoo tag is entirely taken over by people who want us dead.

#🐾 help - resources and advice.

#🐾 positivity - positivity posts specifically for zoos.

#🐾 therian - posts catered towards therian with zoophilia.

#🐾 system - posts catered towards systems with zoophilia.

#🐾🥩 - posts catered towards zoosadists. (im not a zoosadist, if I spread misinformation please let me know).

-

#🍐 positivity - general posts for positivity, not aimed specifically at zoos.

#ask recieved - answering asks.

#snarling - discourse or potentially triggering discussion.

[cconfusedkat]

Lamb Questions!

3. How long was your lamb held captive by heretics before their sacrifice?

6. Who raised your lamb?

7. Where was your lamb raised? A village? A prison? Constantly on the run?

10. How did your lamb feel with their head on the pedestal? Afraid? Relieved? Angry?

(Also love your art and Lamb, here’s the ask list if you wanna see it)

AWAWAWA HAI ,,, Thank u for asking these i was super excited 2 see this in my ask box 🥹🥹 i answered the rest of them in my docs but i didn't get an ask about this til now

3. How long was your lamb held captive by heretics before their sacrifice?

Short Answer: held captive for three months until they just kept biting guards and then that's what led them to their finalized execution ⭐

,,,so basically they were held captive for three months? with their mom? they were held captive in one singular prison while their mom was the only lamb allowed to leave the prison at night time to gather resources. unfortunately since zainab (their mom's name) was older, she was meant to be sacrificed first right beside allure -- right beside them. as zainab was laid to the pedestal next to zainab, they bit off a guards hand , then another guards finger to protest against being executed ,,, this resulted in allure's punishment being executed a day after zainab + being even more humiliated by being locked in a small cage as the second punishment ,,, allure was then sacrificed a day later after jalala failed to open the cage. she got in serious trouble with the old faith and never saw allure again until 200 years later ⭐

6. Who raised your lamb?

Zainab!! Their mother ⭐ She's in her sixties. pardon the old image,, but. zainab's husband died to the genocide as well as the rest of the qabr family,,

(🐏 Qabr is their lastnames! Zainab Qabr & "Allure" Fionn Qabr 🐏)

im kinda projecting what i went through as a child -- my mom didn't want me to know about our genocide and how she used the excuse of our extended family being dead more as like,, they're on vacation to a safe place ,, zainab started running away with allure when allure was 9 and zainab was 50 ,, she didn't tell allure the truth on why they had to be on the run until they were 15

7. Where was your lamb raised?

they were raised in a village :o) on the run after turning 9 years old unfortunately ⭐

since i kinda want shamura and allure to have opposite stories ;; allure grew up in an open minded village until they were nine years old when lamb hunters invaded their village grounds killing each and every one of them. allure and zainab were the only ones to make it out alive. zainab was quick about it because it wasnt the first time she was forced to leave her home ,, she quickly grabbed allure and hid underground for two days ,, then after those two days she picked up allure quickly to start running as fast as she could to get out of the village ,,, she left everything behind. allure left everything behind.

all those important scriptures and pieces of culture are all gone

10. How did your lamb feel with their head on the pedestal?

a mix of wrath, anger, sadness, guilt,,, about all the mixed emotions u would feel if u couldn't avenge your mother and let your emotions override you ⭐

after 200 years they still get flashbacks whenever they have the slightest bit of contact with their neck ,, its why their neck is highly sensitive and why their collar is a little loose ,, the tightness of it reminds them of when the axe hit the back of their neck and how they felt the slow excruciating swing of it cutting their nerves and through the bone

im unable to depict this often but this is actually how big their neck scar is , even after having the ability to self heal as well as the power of the red crown to do anything to their body ,,, the scar never goes away and is a reminder for them every morning when they wake up that they're truly the last of their kind and feel incredibly terrible about it

what was done can't already be undone. you can wait for a millennium and your past will still haunt you

[evilrwbyfan]

murder drones headcanons

this is probably gonna be long sooo under the cut. Ok? ok… none of this is organized (there are categories but only 2)

some of these are based on canon but more than half are really just completely personal interpretations

first lets start with my sisters awesome headcanon

pillbabies are not as important as adult models, so them being used as defense weapons in dire situations is normal. just recode the baby lol

a drones transition from pillbaby to drone is very simple, there is no “in between” where they are tiny drone models, it goes pillbaby to adult model. mostly to preserve metal and oil, theres only so much of that to go around anymore. this is part of the reason why workers all look the same but ages vary so drastically. in the future though, i could imagine they implement a new system where “kid” and “teen” models are made just for better distinction and for fun. but that’d have to be pretty far in the future, probably whenever they’ve all finally dealt with the corpse spires and saved as much resources as possible

lizzy is a very observational and smart person but thats overshadowed by her popular girl act (lol)

doll took an interest in photography due to her father, she uses his camera and in a way its a coping mechanism (basically bonding with him spiritually)

workers prefer heat while disassemblys prefer the cold, this makes them perfect cuddle buddies but also causes the workers to be more attracted to the disassemblys which leads to more deaths

female model disassemblys have the worst time ever trying to sit down, those legs fucking suck

absolutely stealing this from seraphont but since workers were originally miners, they work like owls. Ok? shiny = gem = attracted = Ooooooo. YAY MORE WORKER DEATH BECAUSE DISASSEMBLYS ARE ATTRACTING THEM!!!!!

THAD IS A AROACE BUTCH. ok?❤️

Khan is also a butch. But in more of a loser way. Ok?❤️ this is lesbian drones. No men. Ok?❤️

doll is a food hoarder and has an ED

doll is a huge sweetheart past her exterior and is a gentle lover, platonically and romantically, but shes still incredibly awkward no matter how close someone gets with her DO NOT PLAY WITH ME. also fuck your stupid yandere headcanons certain side of the fandom

the reason doll has so many discarded mirrors is because of them breaking due to the absolute solver (probably canon idk. we were never told why ok)

doll and lizzy never dated, but they did have hookups (initiated by lizzy) and doll had a crush on her that eventually went away due to the v situation

if they were in mlp, workers would be earth ponies, disassemblys would be pegasi, solver ponies would be unicorns, and cyn/solver would be an alicorn (uzi is the exception to the alicorn rule)

n and v are queerplatonic partners

n prefers platonic relationships and romance is a complicated thing for him, he has a hard time distinquishing between romantic and platonic and is aroflux

lizzy would want to be a mom in her 30-40s, dont ask. just a feeling i have that im very passionate about

yeva is selective mute due to trauma from the labs, the only people who she vocally spoke to was doll, nori, and her husband. alice got to know what yeva sounded like but that was because yeva's development of select mutism started around the labs, alice and yeva were good friends at one point but with the way things at the labs went they ended things off on a sour note

alice and nori never liked each other, yeva was the voice of reason (not that they listened to her unless forced to). alice always thought nori was too careless and a brute, nori thought alice was a stuck up pushover who didnt know how to let loose

before going insane, alice was much kinder. she was your basic run of the mill cowboy, still had her countryisms and everything, but she was sort of the inbetween of yeva and nori? i guess. she was nice but still had a temper, she knew when to put her foot down and stand her guard but she also had trouble speaking out against the humans due to fear. trauma made her a very cautious and anxious person which plays a part in the "pushover" aspect nori was annoyed by, she has the solver but was never able to use it the same way yeva and nori could so she was almost thrown out by the humans multiple times. yeva is a part of the reason alice never got thrown out for being "ineffective" in research, but whether or not keeping alice around was the better option is subjective. it was common for the scientists to throw away the rejects and drones who proved unuseful in experiments, so alice stayed longer than she needed to because yeva was surprisingly a good persuader. although yeva also unintentionally played a part in driving alice insane by making sure she wasnt killed/scrapped lol

alice started going insane just a little before the labs imploded which is when the relationship dynamic between nori-yeva-alice started going downhill, this is when the alice we currently know started developing

nori was cyns favorite host during the lab days which plays a part in the reason why cyn ended up liking uzi so much

lizzy and thad are adoptive siblings, femme/butch siblings. ok? i also think they're really close. like the rest of the fandom, i headcanon teacher to be lizzys father Of Course. so that extends to teacher being thads father too, but i personally think neither lizzy or thad have a close or good relationship with teacher because... come on

j and v are exes. ok? i can imagine it started at the manor and was just a one sided crush on v's part that became a requited one after becoming disassemblys. i imagined j probably became more attracted to v after seeing her efficiency in battle, j's always been someone who's very closed off (just like v) so of course she would always keep v and n at an arms distance beforehand even during the manor... so i think v being good at her job being what lures j in to get closer to her makes the most sense, i feel like j would be too busy with tessa and worrying about god knows what else at the manor to notice anything with v at the time. butttttt since disassemblys only really had each other as company, they had more time to get to know each other (i dont think they were ever distant necessarily, but their relationship manor vs disassembly is very different to me). technically, they never officially broke up til episode 8 since j was "dead" since the pilot... but if they WERE to break up before episode 8, i'd personally say episode 2-3 because at that point in time they'd be on opposing teams and other factors just couldnt make it work

DOLL. HAS. ANGER. ISSUES. passed down from her mother. i feel like doll's personality aligns more with yeva's but her interests and small habits align with her father more, but changes from trauma overshadows a lot of the type of person she was beforehand

v is stronger than n but n is stronger than j, ok. ive seen so many people who hc n as stronger than v and i just cant see it At All im so sorry... i do think hes strong, i just cant see him stronger than v

alice's tail is a handmade prosthetic but i guess thats technically canon

love languages: n: gift giving/receiving, quality time v: words of affirmation, acts of service uzi: quality time, words of affirmation j: acts of service, quality time doll: physical touch, quality time lizzy: physical touch, gift giving/receiving thad: quality time, acts of service alice: physical touch, words of affirmation yeva: acts of service, words of affirmation nori: quality time, physical touch khan: quality time, gift giving/receiving tessa: physical touch, acts of service not doing everyone

thad is 100% a comic nerd and its something he and uzi bond over, uzi is more of a manga kid but it overlaps ok

nori totally played flash games when she was younger if she could have

tessa: i was born way after that i had an iphone 70 as a kid (something i read from a tessa blog that i think is really funny)

uzi is a larper and into dnd but i personally dont know anything about dnd i just know she would like it and rope v and n into it, they would probably all love it

doll has bpd, uzi has bpd, v has bpd, j has attachment issues, n has autism, khan has ocd (they secretly all have autism though)

j has a routine she follows everyday. what is that routine? im still figuring that out myself, but it was definitely disrupted due to the events of episode 8

doll is very emotionally devoid due to the effects of trauma kind of forcing her to be that way but i can imagine shes actually incredibly emotionally sensitive

khan tells dad jokes, n laughs at them

uzi exploits in games she plays and is smug about it, i think she uses it to troll rather than cause actual harm though cause shes just not that kind of drone

both n and j like board games, always have, it was probably one of the main things they bonded with during the manor days

tessa is the type of girl to hide her diary/journal under her bed instead of a drawer -- BRAIDON STUFF BECAUSE HE GETS HIS OWN SECTION CAUSE ALL OF THIS IS PRE-WRITTEN EXCEPT LIKE 2 THINGS: doll and braidon are adoptive siblings, braidons family adopted doll sometime around episode 5 and like Ok yeah this doesnt make any sense its something me and my sister came up with and ended up getting attached to

doll and braidon have a very rough relationship but he cares very deeply for her while doll is still learning to trust him, this whole adoption thing is really confusing we never went in full detail with it

He enjoys classical music. His name is usually misspelled as "Braiden" which makes him angry, he quickly corrects others with annoyance.

personality traits: nerd, logical, takes things literally, believes in spirituality, pragmatic, realist, extrovert, impulsive, reactive, talkative, stubborn, decisive, collected, calm, has a short temper, smart with technology, tech smart, honest, gullible, believes in higher power

tone: direct and to the point, doesn't spare any details, goes on long rants sometimes, sarcastic

likes: technology, ranting, talking, spirituality, literacy, reddit, tumblr, tidyness, proving himself right, phones, classical music

dislikes: stupid people --

putting this all the way down here because of the nsfw aspect:

if this were to ever happen or ever be a thing, workers would be the ones who “go into heat”. NOT. DISASSEMBLYS. disassemblys are loners who were programmed to focus on killing and only that, workers are the only ones who would need to “go into heat” because they are being killed off at rapid paces and need to reproduce as fast as possible to keep their species alive

ok thats all for this post. i definitely have other headcanons but i cant think of any others and it would be crazy if i tried to put every single headcanon i have ever thought of in 1 post

[adviceformefromme]

Hello! I love your page and I was meaning to ask for a bit of advice. I'm 15 about to have my sweet sixteen, im about to be a junior this year along with being a freshman in college due to dual enrollment, im searching for a job but of course yk everything is “16 or more” and if for rn its fine because Im a braider so money definitely comes in and im a bit on edge tryna plan for this year and my sweet sixteen. Life is a bit in between im kinda stressing but feel good and excited for things so basically my question is how do I start living what you would call a peaceful life or a “It girl” life along with managing everything. If you could help me out much would be appreciated 🩷

Hey sweetie, here are some thoughts....

1] A morning practise. Your journal. Praying. Meditating. Listening. Minimum of 30 mins for you. You can write your goals, look at your vision board. Read something that inspires you. This time for self-reflection and growth will be the foundations for living a peaceful life.

2] Eating & exercising. Treating your body as if it were a temple. Only consuming food and drinks that nourish you. Drinking enough water each day. Educating yourself on foods that support your body, and learning to listen to it. On top of that an exercise practise. Stretching at home, morning runs, a yoga practice. This is going to add so much CONFIDENCE to your life. Not only that, you will gain energy from moving your body.

3] Surrounding yourself with people who inspire you & expand you. This will accelerate your growth. You become a sponge, and gain so much from spending time with the wisdom of those who light something inside of you. If you don't have people around you, lean on YouTube / Podcast to absorb this motivational energy.

4] Look your best. Invest in your aesthetic. Become a reflection of the goddess that you are. If you are struggling with your makeup, watch YouTube tutorials. If you are not sure what clothes suit your body shape, study women who dress well with the same figure as you. If your teeth are not white enough, order those Crest whitening strips. One thing about style and presentation, it doesn't require a huge bank balance. You use what resources you have to invest in you.

And finally... Be about your business. Be in your purpose. This is the IT girl energy. She is looking her best. Thriving. Doing her hot girl walks, drinking her litres of water per day. She is moving her body. She is surrounded by inspiring women, and men who support and nourish her growth. She doesn't expend any energy on those low vibrational conversations, situations, gossip. She is in her faith. She is GLOWING. Her skin is clear because you understands and prioritises gut health, she is educated, she is helping others. She knows the value of giving back.... She is you.

[phosphor-network]

i need help with if im a osdd-1b sys or just claiming to be

So yesterday I told my friend (who is a osdd-1b) that I might/maybe have or is a osdd-1b and that I tend to not have blackouts but sometimes have memory problems but can still remember. And they told me that I might as will have osdd-1b. But I'm just not sure if I'm am and even I was I would understand more but rn I'm just full of confusion. I just help defining if I'm a sys of not. And not claiming to be. :( cuz I don't want to lie to other sys (DiD, Osdd + 1b and 1a or plural) that I'm a osdd- 1b even though I'm not sure. Just needing help that's all. /srs

hi!

i want you to know, first and foremost, that it is okay to say you have osdd-1b and end up being wrong. the most important thing isn’t that you’re “right”, it’s that the label you’re using gives you either access to a community that can help you or leads you to resources that can help you manage your symptoms.

second, osdd-1b is defined by both lack of amnesia and alters. the memory issues could be linked to any number of things, but the important thing here is if you have alters or multiple identities. if you do suspect that you have alters, i’d suggest reaching out to them and starting conversations with them (mentally if you can manage that, or through a medium such as a notebook, discord, etc) to start to explore the possibility.

third, doubting yourself and denial is actually very very common in both CDDs and nondisordered plurals. CDDs in particular are usually supposed to be hidden from you, so finding and digging into cracks in the disguise can cause your brain to doubt and deny it as a final stand between you and the disorder. CDDs are ultimately a coping mechanism, and by starting to break down the dissociative barriers by acknowledging your system, it can cause a bit of a scramble in your system. if you notice a sudden influx of new members or you realize the way your system used to run changes, that’s completely ok. it’s your brain trying to make up for the fact that it’s been found out.

i have a more in depth video about DID in particular here, and tips for systems (especially newly discovered ones) here.

good luck, and i hope this helped! if you have any more questions, ask box is always open :)

[moonshynecybin]

if you don’t mind my asking, what were the best/worst parts about living in ireland to you?

stuff i LOVED: everyone was the nicest person ive ever met im not even JOKING... wahh... my first day some lady paid my bus fair and was just so overwhelmingly kind about it... i loved living in dublin for the ability to go into a city (i am from a very rural area and it was LOVELY) and see big old buildings and museums and pubs and get to do all these things that i just never had the option to do... public transportation ruled.... and i got to TRAVEL for so much cheaper than we do in the USA and i made a lot of FRIENDS both international and irish and american.... went to irish oktoberfest with a bunch of germans and italians and taught them how to play FLIP CUP cuz they didnt know... went to scotland with my roommates and friends.... drank a lot of guinness and walked around all the parks... saw the bog bodies at the natural history museum... got drunk adn walked around temple bar... bahhh i REALLY did like it whenever i wasnt trapped inside the house...

Stuff i HATED under the cut it has truly nothing to do with the country it was my living situation. lol. well actually im gonna be honest the weather was ASS but i knew that goin in. got to see some rainbows who CARES:

um the BIGGEST THING. was that my living situation was five alarm bell insane. i had to pick a place before flying over so i only saw it over facetime(RUH ROH) and my landlords did not seem interested in providing me and my roommates (two other american girls in their mid twenties) with a liveable space like at all. they never turned the heat on (i was shivering literally constantly. the other girls showered at the university bc it was literally too cold to do it at home. AND they didnt let us buy any electronics without prior approval so we could not buy like. a space heater. it was CRAZY i could see my breath in my ROOM...). they didnt allow any visitors not even my MOM to let me move in. there was a curfew they didnt tell us about. we didnt have a sink in our kitchen (and we had to walk outside to a different part of the building to access it). there was mold EVERYWHERE.AND apparently the reason we were living there was to fund house renovations so they were constantly kicking us out of our rooms to let in builders/construction people (one of the final straws was my roommate coming back from xmas break to find that they had moved her and ALL her stuff out of her room to do a renovation literally without telling her lol. they moved a WALL and we didnt have a SINK STILL...). they tried to enter my room without my permission. and all of this was PROHIBITIVELY expensive like genuinely i could have gotten a studio with the fees i was paying (and they made us pay in cash so. ATM fees compounded all that lol) BUT. they had us trapped in this ILLEGAL lease that stipulated that if we moved out we would owe our ENTIRE remaining rent for the agreed lease period. we sent this to a lawyer later he was like these guys are buckshit insane. i firmly believe they chose american girls and didnt let our parents like. even see the exterior of the house because they knew our moms would call bullshit immediately but WHATEVERRR... anyways after i left i found out that they had a secret baby that they didnt tell us about either. CRAZY!!!!

my school program also was not the most rigorous AND my migraine symptoms started while i was over there soooooo in addition to literally being cold ALL the time, i had NO idea what was going on with my head/health + i didnt really have the resources to find a new place/fight with my landlords + i was rapidly running out of money bc of how expensive everything about my housing was + i wasnt even getting the education i wanted because my professors sucked ass. so when i went home for winter break i just didnt come back ! and i got my roommates to send my stuff to the states. it was like the most insane six months of my life i lost like ten pounds from stress lol

[embodiedfutures]

BFP Pinned Masterpost

hey everyone! im finally doing it: making a masterpost! there's just so many things i want to pin so i gave in!! i'll be updating throughout the day so keep a look out :)

—

who am i? what is BFP?

my name is reaux (she/they) and i am the main voice of this blog! some (relevant) fun facts about me include:

i am a queer, genderfluid Black woman! i'm also Mad, hard of hearing, chronically ill, and working class, so i often speak on issues related to each of these identities/positionalities

i'm an undergraduate psychology major, sociology minor attending an HBCU

my dream one day is start my own peer respite :D

i love answering asks and sharing resources!

@reaux07 | @reauxsrecollection | @publiclyprismatic

as for what this blog is, it's actually the social media account of a registered nonprofit. BFP exists outside of tumblr! fun facts about BFP include:

originally founded in Bulbancha (so-called new orleans, louisiana) by a group of 12 year olds

entirely run by marginalized youth (folks 25 and under, mainly BIPOC!) around the globe since 2016

curious about what we stand for? our guiding principles and core beliefs are linked here!

we offer over 3,000+ free social justice, health, and academic resources through our Liberation Library, all very carefully organized

we offer 24/7 peer support, a decolonial book club, private affinity groups, mutual aid, and so much more through our youth activist Discord server. anyone can join but be aware that we aim to actively center the lived experiences of youth of color at all times!

we're always looking for new volunteers, both in-person and remotely, all with varying responsibility levels. there's something for everyone!

—

our most recent announcement attached here!

[narwhalandchill]

Hello! I saw you mention Childe in labyrinth warriors (hope that’s the right name) when talking about the 4.6 appearance, can I ask you about your thoughts on him there? I didn’t get to play that event- so what I know about it is spotty at best. Just that it’s in Inazuma, had Xinyan I think? And that Childe was there. And the little paper dude. I’m genuinely curious about what insights you gained from the event into his character- and I’d love to hear you talk about Childe more.

(can you believe. when i say. now that im finishing this up. that it got out of hand anon??? uhhhhhhhhhhhh. i mean. at this point this should be expected)

hi!!!! sorry this took a bit, ive been somewhat sick all week and also just now absorbed by the nuzlocke im doing but Anyway. am here now thank you sm for the ask and enabling childe thoughts!!!!!

. readmore bc this Actually got just. unbearably long otherwise JIWDJDWJKDJKWWJDK 😭😭😭😭

so the outline is basically as u said, but like. to summarize it w some particular details mentioned since they Do matter (sorry it got giga fucking long bc i think the full context is helpful for discussing childes parts too lmao). but here goes:

so a mysterious domain has appeared out of thin air on narukami island with monsters spewing out from within into the countryside. now this is an Issue (TM) bc timeline-wise this is still v much the immediate aftermath of the inazuma AQ and the civil war - the nation & esp the tenryo commission rly isnt in ideal shape resource and manpower wise to deal w another crisis like this and it has sara rightfully tense after the initial waves of the monsters were finally forced back. she kinda cant afford to send her men to scout inside the domain (it also kinda. opens and closes and reopens at random which is another issue for potential scouts) but if nothing is done to stop the monsters she must commit to a full on assault to destroy the domain to remove the threat & shes more or less on a timer with that. making it quite the precarious situation for her politically too and not just security wise. (keep this in mind)

how we end up being asked to investigate the place has to do w the. im ngl p convoluted xinyan b plot basically she was invited to a music festival as a performer but it was cancelled so now she lacks the travel permits she needs and getting new ones is Not fast without some inside help. we agree to look for sara so she could argue xinyans case, run into her dilemma w the domain and she agrees to expedit the process if we investigate the place in her forces' stead. (xinyan the civilian tags along for some reason too)

first time u go in, u find the paper dude (kind of an enchanted paper familiar of sorts) aka shiki taishou outside who has lost his memory yet is undoubtedly connected to the domain which is obviously a bit suspicious given the whole. monster spewing into the neighborhood deal. but idk she passes xinyans music vibe check so she argues we should help him recover his memories and in turn discover the truth of the domain along the way.

once we get inside the domain we obviously run into mr. worldwide himself including but not limited to a closeup of his crotch during his introduction for some reason. yeah its been nearly 3 years these things you cant unsee. that and the sending us sausage in his bday mail. like bruh

now childes (as he eventually divulges) in inazuma to look for traces of scara who ran off w the gnosis and happened to stumble into this strange domain with weird vibes. he thought it might be something relevant and waltzed in, proceeded to get locked inside (as the domain shifted) and beat the shit out of all the monsters there all the while having the time of his life bc hes simply built different. bc turns out the place is basically just a full-on sparring simulator for warriors that seems to be running by itself w no one overseeing it ever since the domain resurfaced cue the "pratice targets" aka monsters running wild

dont wanna recap the entire thing in detail but basically. firstly childe kinda improvs another new identity as an adventurer noticing xinyans liyuen attire bc Osial Incident and picking up the awkward energy we have at the realization of. this might be messy if we tell her. and xinyan buys it and nicknames him "red" w/e. so thats why the harbinger thing doesnt become a bigger conflict

he then informs us that all the monsters within the domain turn into torn paper charms when destroyed and that there are "replicas" of shiki taishou strewn about the domain that should restore his power and hopefully memories over time.

so we end up going thru the place helping shiki taishou gather his power and uncover the nature of the place. he kind of has an identity crisis happening bc all the monsters the place is generating seem to imply he was created for some nefarious purpose as a weapon of some sorts (childe says some Very Interesting Things in response as an attempt at pep talk. will get to it).

but TLDR what we do discover is actually that the shikigami/paper magic and the domains functions were basically a system invented after the domains creator harunosuke studied similar adeptal techniques in liyue in order to create the shikigami as these battle partners for samurai fighting against monsters from the cataclysm. these paper dolls could then record and replicate the monsters it and its partner fought in order to train others inside the domain so that inazumas protectors would always be ready to face such a threat if it ever came to be. shiki taishou was created as the "overseer" of this domain and its functions as a training facicility. by regaining his memories and finding clarity in his purpose shiki taishou gains control over the place again and is able to shut down its rogue functions so that it no longer poses a threat. he then promises to improve upon its workings by taking it to dormancy again. sara is relieved that the crisis could be averted without costing her manpower or further resources she doesnt have. yippee

So. yeah that took way too long mb jdwhjwdjdwadwaj but. Childe.

so there are a particular standouts in here in my opinion.

for one that is less like. a characterization aspect but more of a "gotcha" confirmation thats very nice to have is that he explicitly confirms that wherever in the abyss he spent those 3 months at 14, it DID involve places tied to the irminsul and its roots.

fissures between great tree roots u say?????? Inch resting ajax. tell me more abt the trees king.

also this monologue is literally so fucking sexy in general i love his single-minded pursuit of something as like. quintessentially simple as just. Improvement. but bc he has literally 0 fucking chill in his boundless hunger for that one singular ambition it alone is enough to disrupt the gravity of the world around him....... (but we will get to that)

Anyway. another Very good fucking moment from him character-wise is during the 2nd act. where weve spoken w sara about the tense situation after the 1st day of investigation ended w all of us minus childe (who got "trapped" inside the same way a child gets "trapped" inside a free-for-all candy store with all amenities included. he had a blast) getting thrown out and the domain rearranging itself again. and like we go back in once the entrance opens and are even more eager and restless to start figuring things out bc again. sara is on a timer.

and then .

guys im pretty sure theres a twitch emote for this???? something starting with C and ending with AUGHT?

LMAOOOOOO

he reads the shit out of us trying to all "subtly" push for the investigation to proceed so the crisis we are actually tasked to investigate can be solved. like this is literally just Actual 5d chess situational awareness and picking up cues from people around him and honing onto exactly whats stirring up in the undercurrent from childe. basically. he just lays onto us like. ah right. this is probably a big problem for that tenryo commission right? such a problem that theyd even ask an outsider to cover their duties... when thatd never happen during regular times right? a conundrum that could get even more problematic if theres a harbinger publicly around... right? oh my bad my bad haha just thinking out loud bestie lets get back to investigating shall we? hahaha

he is such a smart fucking Bastard oh my godddddd bro is out there smelling the traces of societal unrest and any and all weaknesses in a given governing structure like hes a shark tasting like 0,00000001% blood in the water . professional & supernaturally efficient problem causer everyone. this is what he was hired for . i love him

like. hes SMART guys. and hoyo Knows how to work his intelligence into the writing too its soooo scrumptious man .

and like bro hes being such a fucking menace in here too bc. he couldve kept this observation to himself too. but nooooo he just had to shove it in ur face that we are Not being as slick w keeping him in the dark as we would like to think💀💀 smug ass.

it makes me think abt how many things he actually Notices among the harbingers and all their power plays and schemes among one another but that childe simply keeps to himself bc he has nothing to gain from disproving the assumption of himself as this. gullible and simple-minded loyal warrior harbinger and the person-shaped time bomb we toss at wherever the flames of discord need some help sparking alight. after all, we saw this in arles quest too - how not only did he use our pathetic distraction attempts as an opportunity to fish relevant information on both arlecchino and pulcinella for himself (which i already commented on) but also. the fact that he Very clearly noticed our attempt at distracting her and intentionally helped us out without even knowing anything abt the matter at hand. to the point where even arle makes that Highly pointed comment about it and all but spells out that childe was assisting us on purpose the entire time.

like he is just. incredibly perceptive and so fucking intelligent like especially back in 2.2 where even Bigger of a portion of the fandom (if thats even possible) than today just thought of him as this. stupid fucking baby infant meow meow idiot brainwashed by the tsaritsa and completely owned by zhongli and signora XDDDDDD . seeing this unfold made me so fucking happy abt the way like. yeah HOYO knows what his character is all abt. the fandom can ruin him all the want but the games story isnt going to bend to their will.

Speaking of Which.

The weapon thing.

so as ive already alluded to prior . the entirety of labyrinth warriors despite it highlighting childes intelligence, attitude, priorities and ambitions in a way thats like. genuinely so fucking good and comes off as natural with no forced sounding exposition or backstory dump . mostly got a fan reception more in the way of . waa waa my baby boy is depressed with sigma PTSD 3.0 with DLC because calling yourself a weapon is self dehumanization and it signals he is suicidal and has no self worth 🥺🥺🥺🥺 he got TRAPPED in the EVIL DOMAIN consisting EXCLUSIVELY of all his favorite activities nonstop he must be feeling so scared i need to hug him my babygirl!!!!!!!!!11!1!1

when its like. ah yes. i have never heard of a motif ever before.

bc like as much as i do genuinely consider it something that more or less can be taken at face value as an Aspect of who childe is (not necessarily the whole of it, just another mask true to a part of his self) . it should still be acknowledge that part of the reason why his dialogue (and the event in general) fixates on the notion of being a "weapon" has to do with shiki taishous character arc.

because thats what he is. and is trying to discover what kind of purpose a discarded (bc harunosuke left the domain abandoned at the end) weapon and tool like himself can even have anymore. and childes lines taking that repeated emphasis of. whats so bad about being a WeaponTM (& expanding on what that means for Him) specifically . are as much about himself as they are just an attempt to communicate his worldview to shiki taishou as a way of pushing him towards solving this identity crisis he has . that paper boy literally Needs to solve in order for the domain to stop malfunctioning.

and like. okay even if we just look at it w/o paper boy. so say childe considers himself a weapon . but what does that mean to him?

[incoming top 5 dialogue lines that genuinely fucking challenge my sexuality this is so fucking hot. no one talk to me]

"Only those that wish for an end will find one."????????

"My limits vanish behind the horizon with every step I take"??????

FUCK OFF OH MY GODDDD

like people think of childe as this fatalistic if not actively suicidal then at least like passively reckless and uncaring towards his own wellbeing blood knight w low self esteem barreling towards his death and here he is. using his own fucking words. saying that the mere CONCEPT of an END. is not in his fucking VOCABULARY. because it does not serve his ambition to let such confusions ever obstruct his sights.

people think his purpose and ambition is soooo tied to his family tied to the tsaritsa that if those are ever taken away he will just freefall into the depths of directionless confusion and depression and whatever. when.

Here he is. giving a fucking pep talk to a DISCARDED WEAPON THAT HAS LOST HIS PURPOSE. EXCEPT HE KINDA JUST SAYS ITS A SKILL ISSUE TO EVEN NEED TO CONSIDER AN END TO YOUR PATH (hes silly like that). AS AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF NATURE. A WEAPON THAT CUTS ANYTHING.

oh hey thats funny now where have i heard that before. bonjour my baguettes any fontainian cults or god kings out there interested in the world and fate altering power of unstoppable weapons that can cut into anything even ego and destiny itself and whatever that may mean?????? O____o

i swear to fucking god if the entire time this entire weapon allegory from labyrinth warriors was all about all cleverly n loosely associating him with themes relating to descenders and wills that rival the world all the way back in 2.2. and yet on release all people wanted was to weep for how sad it was he thought himself a weapon. man why is it always like this . i weep for THAT.

like. idk i dont have anything poetic to say abt it other than childes drive as an individual is just fucking breathtaking to me??? its literally Scary how utterly consumed he is by that ambition yet at the same theres this . crystalline clarity he has towards viewing it and himself ?? this weird ass self awareness that coexists with the all-consuming pursuit and ambition of it all??? this isnt sad this is both ridiculously attractive AND batshit insane like dudeeee . and like . the way he talks about it too like this is just a matter of fact everyday thing to him 💀💀 bc thats his abyss shrimp color vision this is how he rolls . its nothing grandiose its just how he is . this is normal to him its unbearable i hate him

like somewhat unrelated here (sorry) but sometimes i see ppl go against the possibility of childe having sth to do w the 3rd descender (which like yes is a crack theory for now and its not sth i can fully align myself with either as of rn Due To Those Thematic Clashes it just lives rent free Because of how conflictingly insane it is while also having some Strangely compelling evidence in its favor) or even just. Any higher predestined significance assigned to him in the grand scheme of things with the sole argument of like . but then everything about Him is worthless bc it wasnt His ambition and His drive to overthrow the world he wasnt Just A Guy (and. sigh. as the op. of that ancient thing. stop taking that old ass hastily typed post too far and too literally thx. its abt the vibe the attitude the subversion. having a destined purpose if the story handles it well does not conflict w being the quintessential just a guy thanks xx). he was just special all along so it all means Nothing and its like. dude. he told a recently-amnesiac paper boy having an identity crisis that its a fucking skill issue to ever falter in the face of some greater purpose haunting in your past or defining your origins. that a True weapon cuts himself free of even that without even a sliver of hesitation . ppl think that if indeed some soul of the 3rd descender is resurrected in story and idk tries taking over his body with past lives and memories or whatever. you think he isnt ripping the essence and existence of that poor fucking dude apart and devouring him alive into the crushing depths of the black hole of an unquechable ambition that beats a steady pulse at His core just to reclaim HIS place as the ultimate weapon to cut through everything???????

aww thats so cute. you guys think even the hypothetical of theories akin to these being legit on some level is automatically going to ruin his arc and character bc hes gonna be taking it lying down!!!!! you think hes going to look at a Grand destiny Assigned to him by someone Outside and Above and not spit in its face!!!

just like his narwhal looked at the destined cosmic end of All life to fall to ruin and immediately devoted its entire existence to denying the universe that very outcome isnt that curious why are they the sam---------------SORRY SORRY where was i at

like. i see how it is for yall. well. myself on the other hand. i have some fucking faith in him lmao

partially . indeed Because. i read the goddamn text of labyrinth warriors. where they let him Talk about what these things mean to him. and how he Truly isnt about to stop. Ever. hes not looking for an end and if presented with one he sure isnt about to respect it. hes just. built different its absolutely amazing

and yeah my bad i got. sidetracked very badly there. you asked me abt labyrinth warriors but bc its childe this is just what tends to happen like my brain fucking spirals. but like . no im not saying that the weapon theme being such a prevalent aspect in the story is like 100% a descender and sword of narzissenkreuz thematic parallel and intentional reference i just think its Quite interesting in hindsight . that This is the angle they drilled in on .

anyway hopefully this at least had Something to illustrate abt why i love labyrinth warriors for how it serves to establish how much of a madman childe ajax tartaglia my beloved truly is . and how to hoyo his outlook towards the world has very much been one of endless limitless hunger and never-sated ambition . and not whatever fanon wants to cook up. childes greatest enemy has always been stagnation and he has always looked towards the Future. of surpassing each and every limit and boundary on his path . like thats what makes him who he is.

also. last lil thing aka. Most Ignored Canon Line Spoken By This Man

which is a shame bc. its so fucking interesting??? i mean. i get that ppl dont know what to make of it bc everyones so fixated on picturing childe as this loyal puppy tsaritsa fanboy who couldnt even deign to imagine discarding allegiances to anyone yet here he is. saying exactly that.

like ive seen ppl be like oh hes trying to Convince himself of this!!!! hes putting up an act!!!!! and its like? no? i dont think this contradicts anything about his character. people just find it uncomfortable because it implies that the things he listed there are not something of any Inherent value to him. which adds up perfectly fine to me but what do i know.

like the way i have always seen this is that it really isnt. oh childe says he isnt actually a loyal person When it matters to him personally and isnt actually invested in fulfilling his duty (as of Right Now, mind you) which would yes seemingly contradict a lot of other things. but really its just that those concepts alone are void to him. you cant stop him from pursuing his ambition by saying its evil. if the tsaritsa ever truly loses his respect and leaves him completely disillusioned in the archon that once was a fellow honorable warrior in his eyes, the concept of "allegiance" will not be able to dissuade him from turning that burning ambition of toppling the heavens towards her throne too. personal respect maybe. a sense of honor. maybe even disdain so extreme that even investing that time into her now is a waste? sure. but like. you get what im trying at? he is way more ambivalent about these things than most people really Want him to be. bc they dont fulfill the hunger that burns at his core.

and it adds up. bc like. his ambition his drive towards battle and bettering himself and becoming a weapon completely unstoppable and irreplaceable that can conquer the world . is his north star. its the singularity that all else about him orbits around. of course silly little concepts like right and wrong will be secondary to that. we just really havent seen a moment where his ambition is in true conflict with the bonds and oaths he has sworn in his current life. but i have a feeling that if and when we do. this line will make a lot more sense lmao

anyway uhhhhhhh

yeah i liked labyrinth warriors!!! very underacknowledged and misrepresented event that had a ton of fun stuff abt childe. i am super normal about these hip and enjoyable aspects of his character as they are explored within this event as the length and contents of this post imply!!!!

omg anon i. really fucking hope u got at least Something u were looking for out of all this KWJKJKDWWJKDWJKDJKWDK i swearrr i just cannot. stop myself from completely fucking losing it on the asks of every innocent anon (and like non anon too why not) approaching my ask box 😭😭

but thank you again for sending this in!!!!!! have a nice day!!!! im very normal thanks for asking!!!!!

[herrscherofreasons]

lee oathofkaslana, i was wondering if you have any advice for getting into hi3, especially in regards to digging into the lore. i’ve been following along with your hi3 posts for literal months and i get more intrigued each time you discuss it so i finally decided to just go for it. i know theres the game/webtoon/animated shorts/cooking with valks but i’m not totally sure about how to go about approaching all of it and the more obscure elements (like the other games with the hi3 characters) because i don’t want to miss out on anything. is there a certain order of approach that you suggest? also, are there any resources that may help with taking it all in, like explaining the basics and the timeline or something like that? there’s no pressure to answer right away, i’m sure you might want time to compile your thoughts, i just trust your judgement on how to get into hi3 over trying to figure it out myself based on how knowledgeable you appear to be about everything.

cracks knuckles. anon im being so serious this made my day both bc of your kind words and bc its the perfect opportunity for me to infodump about hi3 resources (<- especially unfortunate part of my current interest on hi3 is that im a lil too deep into things about the game that dont really matter?? thats beside the point)

lee oathofkaslana's hi3 starter guide :) ps: important. please please read my warning in the comics section of other content.

reading lists! ok this is the most important thing so its going first. hi3's comics are a lot more important to the plot than like. genshin's. and its kinda annoying bc in some cases you'll be guided from going between chapters of the game to a comic and vice versa. i highly recommend checking out both of these reading lists: hoyostans reading guide (start from part 1 phase 1) archives wiki hi3 reading list the seconds a lot easier to follow imo! especially with the earlier ones. i personally prefer primarily using the second one and then consulting the first to see if there's any extra content that's missing (since some ggz/retconned hi3 comics are linked there and provide some context! the first one also has some very helpful notes from the OP!) i DO think that reading the comics in the order listed on the archives wiki and then starting chapter one is best. it might feel like a dip in story telling though but i promise it will get a lot btter once theyre a lot more stable w their game development and writing :)

other content: comics: ok first i have to put a warning. escape from nagazora is from ggz iirc and like. early ggz and early hi3 humor kinda sucks ass. there's awful sexualization of underaged girls and its weird about women and this is where a lot of the fetishization comes in. they're also not normal about consent here. also another warning about azure waters. it heavily references CSA and has an almost rape scene and i completely hated the way it was all visually portrayed. if needed I will gladly summarize these comics for you without any of those details. this aside, the comics are included in the reading guides! there are also non-canonical ones though! (4komas featured on the manga site and 4komas from the jp twitter! theres a google drive linked in the other post w fan translations. they're comedic and not at all canonical but they may spoil things since its run coincides with the game's progress so i dont really recommend reading them until you're farther along. atm i am just starting part 1.5 and ive read most of it, but i am intentionally avoiding newer ones just by looking at what design is in the thumbnail. they're very quick to read though dw!) animated shorts -> they are included in the game :) if you would prefer watching them in chinese, i'm afraid you'll have to look at it on youtube though :' for some reason on the western servers all the CG's in the first part are in japanese even if you switch your language to chinese. chronicles -> they're included in both the reading guides! theres some that aren't very lore relevant (dreams of gemima and kallen chronicles) but they're a fine source of weapons and crystals (hi3 equiv of primos) part 2 -> i haven't started it yet but from what i've seen, it's recommended that you finish part 1 before this. open-world -> again, follow the reading order for these :) the only exception is APHO because that takes place in the future (after part 1.5). i haven't finished it and i personally don’t plan to until after i do 1.5 in case there's any important spoilers! there are major hints that kinda spoil the end of part 1 though. <- same with the alien space comic. it takes place. sometime after APHO i think. other universe events -> primarily captainverse. obv these take place in a different universe! these characters are not the same as the main characters. iirc the only one that's really lore-relevant is honkai salvation log (it comes later in the game and later in the hoyostans reading guide!!) donghua: cooking with valks: not canonical content. season 1 is pretty safe but it is best watched after chapter 12 to get full context for some references! honestly you could probably get by with watching the rest of the series after imo but if you'd prefer to play it safe, the hoyostans guide includes it :) golden courtyard: do not watch this one until you finish chapter 31. journey crisis: do not watch this until you finish part 1.5 ggz/hg2: honestly. you don't need to know ggz for hi3. you would benefit from knowing the retrospective timeline's history for the main trio but from there on, ggz and hi3 follow completely different stories with different characters. honestly you could go by without knowing the main trio's history in retro i think its already explained enough in the main story and other media.

links. youtube: homulabs -> has cohesive lore videos that help a lot (esp later on)! also has some hsr stuff if you're interested :) hide's honkai archives -> playthroughs of all of part 1 completely in chinese (including cut scenes). also fixes up some of the translations since i believe the eng translations are translated from the jp dub! i mostly use this to both rewatch chapters when i need background noise and look at cutscenes with OP's translations. i find it interesting.. official hi3 youtube visual novels: again, look at the reading guides. im pretty sure think some of those links on both guides are wonky though so ill provide them here. ae visual novel (eng) shattered swords/7 swords visual novel (eng) durandal visual novel (eng) i also have a larger post with various links here build/combat: ok this is my weakspot. marisa honkai -> kind of unfortunate backbone of the hi3 community. allegedly kicked someone from his discord server for saying kiana is a lesbian. but his infographics are useful! he also has a youtube but i can't vet how his videos are o7 <- lore player and very obvious about it elysian realm shallow sequence -> in case you're ever struggling w this part. dont worry about it early game though you'll get to it in time. honestly its optional though so.

quick tips/loose info:

the wikis will be your best friend.

do the character trials!! they teach you how to use any of the characters and you can open them whenever you want! if the battlesuit is new, you will also get rewards if you do the trial in time :)

honkai has an absurd amount of currencies for some fucking reason. this is more of a warning than a tip.

ok imo hi3 combat is super super fun but my god the powercreep sucks asssssssss. i hate the process of building characters because you have to pull for characters signature gear and that equipment banner's pity doesnt carry over it fucking sucks.

BUT don't worry too much honestly if you are just playing for the story like i am it doesn't matter too much since you don't need to use your own valkyries for much (story wise). do at least build some though even to a minor degree (you will need them for chronicles)

speaking of gacha though! there's no 50/50 to worry about in honkai!

don't go into the chat for room 1 its fucking scary and full of weirdos (derogatory) and assholes. first and last time i went there i saw homophobes.

remember this is all for fun :) sorry if this seems long or wayyyy too serious i meant it when i say im awfully fixated on this fuckass game! i hope you enjoy it if you continue to play it :DD <3