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#imagine the giggle. now go and be joyful for the rest of your day. God bless you all
sportsthoughts · 4 months
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Day 30 of offseason gifs - PO and Drew doing... whatever this is
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no matter what it takes
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summary: y/n is kidnapped, and for once reid can’t think of a solution
inspired by this request: Hiiiii! I absolutely love your writing it’s so amazing! I was wondering could there be a storyline where your all working a case (the reader is dating Spencer) and have a lead and you go to the suspect’s house and while there you get kidnapped when back at the BAU the team is trying to work out how to get you back and they get a ransom vid of you getting beaten (dark I know) so they all have to work faster and they find you but while you're taken can we see it from like Spencer’s POV and his thought process on your being gone. Anyways they find you and you’re like drugged majorly injured you wake up in hospital Spencer’s there and it’s fluffy at the end.I know that’s rough but I really love your writing and hope this is ok x
word count: 2,331                                                                                               reading time aprox: 8 mins
a/n: to whoever requested it, i kinda didn’t follow your format or ending. i’m really sorry to disappoint you, but i was writing the plot one way, then suddenly it took a turn. i hope you still enjoy it!
masterlist
Spencer’s POV
My eyes scanned the words in front of me, Charles Dickens displayed in between my hands. I hoped my thoughts would wander more as I explored the novel, taking my mind off of the case I worked previously.
Out of the blue, two soft hands appeared on my knotted hair, massaging the scalp tenderly. “Are you settling okay, my love? How was the case?”
I exhaled deeply, setting the book down beside me as I guided my best girl to my lap. I cushioned her to my side, nuzzling my nose into her shoulder.
“That bad, huh?” Y/N sympathized, trailing her fingers at the cut of my chin. I nodded into her, taking in her calming scent. She smelled of fresh daisies in the summer and the first layer of snow in the winter.
I lifted my head from hers, bringing my arm around her shoulders to pull her closer to me. I sighed in relief as a wave of calm brushed over me. “We were too late...we couldn’t get to one of the last hostages before the unsub.” I shook my head, taking her hand in mine. I examined the daintiness of her fingers, chuckling softly as I placed kisses upon each of them.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she whispered, nuzzling into me as we enjoyed each other’s presence. “Did you catch the unsub?”
“No...he got away last minute,” I sighed, running my hand over my face. “This unsub likes to make things personal. He only killed the last victim to mess with us.”
Silence infiltrated the conversation before it dived into the dark details of the case. The combined sounds of our breathing created a tranquil environment, lulling us to sleep with every second passed.
“I promise you Y/N...”
-
The shade of grey that covered the walls of the BAU prevented agents’ minds from meandering from their tasks. This proved quite effective in intended circumstances, although the caveat was the consequence of a disconcerted mind.
The film cast over my eyes exacerbated the existing burn from staring into space for too long. Although the sensation was unmatched for the void that consumed me from the inside. My limp fingers twitched beside me in a rhythmic pace, reminding me that this was real. My feet felt heavy against the granite tiles of the office, barely able to hold up the rest of my stature. I felt my muscles sag underneath my weight as the feeling of emptiness flooded from my torso to the knuckles of my hands.
“You be careful, Y/N!” I teased, watching as my lover’s silhouette disappeared into the elevator.
“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone!”
I shook my head, amused at the incessant Marvel-themed references that had been thrown my way since our last movie night. “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”
I hissed as I felt my nails dig into my palms. I hadn’t realized how hard I’d been clenching my fists until I looked down to see blood trailing around my nail bed. Shaking my head, I cleaned off the evidence against my slacks, watching it seep through the material.
“Guys?”
My head shot up to find Penelope typing away at her computer. Her brows were crossed with worry and her eyes would flicker frantically between her four monitors. The rest of the team seemed to follow me to her station, gazing with anticipation at what she discovered.
“What do you have Garcia?”
“I-um. I’m picking up a satellite feed somewhere in Danbury, Connecticut,” she spilled out, her fingers shaking over her keys. “Ther-there’s a livestream that just went active two minutes ago, an-and it’s...there’s-oh my god.” Penelope pushed herself away from her screens, tearing her eyes away as her face grew hot.
“Reid. Out.” Hotch demanded, not taking his eyes off the feed in front of him. JJ moved beside him, further blocking my view of the monitor. Her face contorted in shock and disgust, similar to the expression Garcia beheld moments ago.
“What...why?” I questioned, taking steps forward to investigate, but was ultimately stopped by Morgan. A coil wrapped around my insides, getting tighter with every breath that I took. The sides of my forehead began to warm up with a disorienting blaze, traveling down my eyelids. The fire followed down to the pit of my stomach, sending an uneasy chill down my spine.
“Kid…” he whispered, shaking his head in caution.
“What…” I breathed, feeling my cheeks swell up. Morgan couldn’t meet my eyes--none of them could. “God, it’s my girlfriend. I deserve to know where the hell she is,” I huffed, pushing past Morgan. Although the words were launched back into my esophagus, turning into bile that burned away at my pride.
A high-pitched ringing echoed and bounced around my head. My ears thumped with a resonating drum, overwhelming my senses. Every sharp intake of air felt like ice shooting up my nostrils, and every exhale felt like fire to my lungs.
Y/N was hunched over in a chair with braces around her wrists and ankles. Her beautiful hair was matted with dirt and blood, sticking to the sides of her face. Her skin was painted with a mixture of sweat and grime, hiding the usual radiant glow of her skin. Fortunately, the blurry pixels of the video saved me from witnessing the large gashes that ran along her flesh.
A man stood next to her with a Cheshire grin, his pervasive eyes scanning every inch of his work before breaking the fourth wall. He stared at the camera with a joyful gleam, tilting his head as he inspected the lenses.
“Spencer.” I imagined her call out. A phantom chant met my ears, remembering the softness in her voice and the soothing gravity she carried within her words.
“Spencer, stop it!” Y/N giggled, burying herself deeper into our duvet.
“Why baby?” I murmured into the crease of her neck. “We should just stay like this all day. Maybe if we stay long enough we can morph into a chrysalis.”
“Spencer,” she giggled. “Spence…”
“Spence?” JJ empathized, searching my eyes. She placed a hand on the outside of my arm, lingering there for a comforting moment. Although when she realized her attempts were futile, she retracted her arm with a tight frown on her lips. “I know that-”
“The feed is displaying audio now,” Garcia announced with a wavering tone. I slid past JJ, standing my ground next to Hotch as we listened to the livestream. Whimpers echoed throughout the concrete compound she was trapped in. Her body flinched as the man inched closer to her with an object out of view from the camera. The fear in her eyes left a sharp pang in my chest as a burning resentment ignited my bloodstream.
“Stop…” she whispered, pulling away from the man. “Stop...please,” she sobbed. Her face was contorted in anticipation, glancing down at the item creeping towards her. It was only then a glint of a metal object bounced off of the camera, a foreign substance leaking from its tip.
“Stop! Please!” Y/N’s voice amplified in volume as the inevitable came. “NO!” she screamed, thrashing in her seat as the needle penetrated the soft layer of her skin. “SPENCER! HELP!” she cried out, desperation seeping through her weeps.
A suffocating poison ran its course throughout my body, entrapping me in the limited reality of my abilities. I felt my inner conscious thrash against the walls of my mind, begging for an answer, a solution. I tore my eyes away from the screen, my hand unconsciously clawing at the base of my neck. Staggered breaths blocked my airway, and the room shrank under my feet.
I needed to get out.
I let my feet sweep me away from the office, as far as it takes. My back hit the cold wall of the eerie hallway, feeling the chill penetrate through my blazer. I closed my eyes as I banged on my forehead, hoping that the gears would start working, but nothing seemed to bring me assurance.
Nothing could assure that she’ll be okay. I failed her. I failed to assure her that I was going to keep her safe. I failed at keeping her safe. I failed her.
My heart was pulled against my spine, attached tethers tearing it apart in opposite directions. Contractions of adrenaline seeped into my nervous system as her anguished screams left the room silent behind me. It was like gravity had ceased to exist, leaving me floating in a mind-numbing state of desolation.
I failed her.  
“I’m always going to love you,” I reassured, tucking in a hair behind her ear as she swung her legs back and forth atop of the counter.
“Really Spence?” she giggled, bringing the spoonful of 3:00 am ice cream out of her mouth, dangling the utensil from the bottom of her plump lips.  “Prove it?”
“Darling, isn’t there a tub of ice cream--that I bought--in your hands?” I teased, tapping at my watch. “And last time I checked it’s the middle of the night.”
“Whatever,” she giggled, nudging at my shoulder. My hands traveled to the sides of her hips, pulling myself closer as I inspected the beautiful glow of the moonlight reflecting off of her visage. “I thought you were going to say something cute.”
“That wasn’t cute?”
“Not even close, Spencer Reid,” she mumbled, tapping on the end of my nose before taking my face into the softness in her hands. She playfully scoffed as we inspected each other’s eyes for what seemed like hours. My arms found their way around her waist, melting into her, as I lessened the gap between us.
“What is it?” I whispered, my eyes flickering from her eyes to the pigment on her lips. Closing in proximity, I nudged her into me. But before our lips could meet, a chuckle filled the air and a hand was placed above my chest.
“I...am out of ice cream.” With that, she scurried away to the fridge with a bounce in her step. I shook my head in amusement, whispering to myself.
“That girl’s damn lucky that I love her.”
Frenzied feet inside the office took me out of my daze, but it was the sound of soft steps approaching me that made my shoulders stiffen in anticipation. I collected my composure the best as I can, maintaining a brave face for whoever would walk into the doorframe.
I didn’t even bother to look up to see who it was. The figure’s footsteps halted beside the door frame, leather shoes in my peripheral. Without a moment of quiet, the figure stooped down with its back pressed lightly against the wall. Although despite the thick tension, the figure remained silent.
“You know I don’t always need company…” I murmured defensively.
“I know kid...I know,” Morgan huffed, bringing his hands to his head. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any.” He knocked his knee into mine, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “She’s going to be okay Spencer.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know that she’s strong,” Morgan countered. “You just gotta believe in tha-”
“Don’t- Don’t give me hope like I’m one of the victims we interview. I’m- I’m not a victim.” I nudged his large hand off of me, feeling confined in the big desolate hallway.
“I wasn’t saying you were-”
“But you implied it!” I combed through my hair, my lungs still sore from staggered breaths. “I’m...I’m sorry,” I sighed.
“I said I’m sorry!” I yelled, feeling my throat dry up from the venom dripping from my words.
“This is the third time, Spence. The THIRD time you came home late,” Y/N seethed.
“Who are you? My mother?”
“All I want is to know that you’re safe, Spencer! God! I wait here all day for you, knowing that you’re out there on the field, and something could happen. How does that make me feel?”
“This is ridiculous,” I shook my head, dismissing her ignorance. I headed towards my jacket that I strung up on the coat hanger a few minutes ago, not bothering to take my keys with me.
“Where...where are you going?” Y/N whispered.
I made the mistake of looking back and seeing the hurt present on her face. The apples of her cheeks were stained with tears, and her eyes were glistening with fresh ones. Her lips were parted ever so slightly, still looking plump and soft even in her distressed state.
“To work,” I monotonously replied, turning away from her. I shuffled out of the apartment with anger dominating every part of me, blinding me to the point where I guess I forgot to lock the door.
“I did this.”
Morgan’s head shot up at the utterance of my words. “What do you mean, kid?”
“I left her by herself...alone,” I scoffed. “We were fighting, and I just left her there. God, I didn’t even lock the door.” I rammed the back of my head against the plaster wall, squeezing my eyes tightly. “How can I be so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
“Hey, stop that!” Morgan intervened, pulling my shoulders off of the wall. “You didn’t know that this was going to happen…”
“Yes, but I should’ve known, Morgan! Don’t you get it!”
“Spenc-”
“I had one job…” I sighed, the inner walls of my chest collapsing into themselves. “God I...I should’ve known.”
My head fell back into the curves of my palms, my tears shamelessly peeking out of the corners of my eyes. My chest heaved reluctantly, as my heart lurched forward. Heat crawled up my cheeks, combining with the coldness of the tears running down my face.
Morgan’s supporting hand felt like a phantom’s upon the skin of my back, knowing that nothing compared to the innocent touch of my Y/N.
-
“What is it, Spence?”
“I promise you that....that I’m always going to keep you safe, no matter what it takes.”
-
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kirschteinsj · 4 years
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Pinky Promises
Nanami x fem! reader
Warnings: nothing too much! maybe language but overall just a bunch of fluff and lovey dovey stuff 
Word Count: 2.9k
Summary: Domestic Nanami and reader, just thinking about how much they love each other. sappy and cute stuff.
A/N: Hi! ^_^ Second time posting, I’ve had this one shot saved for a bit now! finally posting it lolz. I've noticed a lot of people have written domestic Nanami pics or drawn art, very glad society as a whole has this perception of him. it truly heals the soul I think. anyway, I hope u like this and sorry if there’s any grammar errors I wasnt able to catch U_U im thinking of doing a hc post next.... unsure hm, we’ll see ^_^!!
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“I’m hooooome.” He says loudly as he steps through the apartment door, setting his briefcase down and taking off his beige coat. Putting down the grand kitchen knife she was using to chop up spinach, she rushed to the door with a smile and engulfed the tall blonde into a tight hug, saying hello. She took a deep breath, inhaling the soft scent of his cologne, the smell of something sour and musty soon taking over. Her face scrunched up and she let out a giggle.
“Oh god, Nanami, you stink, what did you go against today?”
“Nothing too bad. Just a grade 3,” He sighed “A smelly grade 3.” He sounded disappointed, probably because he knew he stunk too. Though the smell was horrendous, she still remained in his arms and he still held on just as tight.
“Are you tired? I was thinking of making dinner with you tonight but if you’re too tired I can-”
“No no. I’m fine. Just let me wash up and I’ll help out.”
“You sure?” She asked looking up towards him, questioning once more to reassure. He looked down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.
“I’m sure, dear.”
While he showers upstairs, she gets back to readying the ingredients so they could begin cooking their masterpiece as soon as possible. Tonight she had chosen chicken alfredo with a tossed salad; One could say it was her favourite, but saying that would imply that she would eat it when cooked and served by whomever. But to her, she would only eat it when it was him who had made it for her.
Y/n adored him. He adored her. To her, he was her light. She could simply not imagine life without him, not after he had come in and changed her in such a way. She never in a million years would have thought to be so in love with someone. To have known someone who cared enough to hear all about her day or listen to all her tangents, whether they made sense or not. Who listened to her talk forever about anything just so he could see the faint glow of passion in her eyes. Someone who remembered the small details in regards to the things she loved and the things she despised; Like how she hated the feeling of peanut butter on her fingers and how she absolutely admired the scent of fresh pages in a new book. Sometimes, she felt undeserving of him.
He admired her like no other. Never did he believe he’d be capable of opening up to anyone in such a way, at least not until she walked into his life. He could write a million lists, all full of everything he loved about her. The way she smiled cheekily at him after a witty remark, how she'd give every hug as if it was the last, the way she was oh so patient with him. It took him time to become vulnerable in the slightest, he just didn’t know how to do so without burdening her. She knew his job was hard, he’d told her. But rather than running away like he expected, she stayed with him right by his side. She refused to leave him over that. If anything, it made her want to stay more since she felt the need to be there for him. It felt like a punch to the gut but a good one. “So, is this love?” He had asked himself then. Nanami had someone who brought out the much more joyful side to him. At the end of the day, he knew he’d walk through the front door only to see her, arms wide open and with a big smile offering a cozy hug. She was his home. Sometimes, he felt undeserving of her.
Putting the final piece of broccoli into the container, she tidies any clutter and went back to their shared bedroom. Sinking into the bed and falling on it with a plush thump, she lets out a deep sigh mixed with some sort of a groan. She herself was exhausted from work too to say the least. She didn’t deal with curses or anything like that, but she did teach a class of 9 year olds which one could consider just as frustrating. Yawning, she checks her phone to read the time: 6:15 PM. Nanami hadn’t been in the shower for too long, a small nap wouldn’t hurt. Quickly, she settled for a little 30 minute nap. That way, she could get up soon enough to help him out in the kitchen and not abandon him to do everything on his own. She turns her phone off and slowly, her eyes shut.
Y/n slowly opens her eyes and notices a grey throw blanket placed on her, something that she doesn’t recall going to bed with earlier. “Must’ve been Nanami.” Grabbing her phone, she turns the screen on, wincing at the incredible blue light piercing into her skull. “Fuck.” she mumbles. Once her eyes adjust, she glances back at the screen for the time: 7:30.
“FUCK,” she says, voice croaking “I overslept.” With the speed of light, she leaves bed and runs down the hall to the bathroom to freshen up. She soon makes her way over to the kitchen silently, slightly ashamed and guilty. Y/n mumbles a whine with a frown, “He’s probably done making things now. I could have helped.”
The kitchen is filled with the delicate scents of sauces, cheese and herbs. She watches him from the door frame, admiring her boyfriend. He stood in front of the stove mixing at the sauce for the alfredo, which scent alone made her mouth water. Nanami seems to be in his own world, as he stands humming to himself softly, stirring the pot of sauce and adding in the broccoli and spinach, not seeming to notice y/n. With a final stir, he carefully sets the lid and turns to rinse his hands. Her gaze sits upon his figure, how his grey oversized shirt slightly clings to his shoulders and loosens as it goes down his body. Looking down, she noticed the bright red christmas pyjamas he had on, the ones with adorable little reindeers all over them. Grinning, she remembers how she had bought those for him. She purchased a matching set for the two of them and insisted on wearing them all day on Christmas last year. Nanami had responded to the idea with a stern “No” which left y/n in shambles. She didn’t expect him to agree, but hey, a girl can dream. However, on Christmas day, lo and behold, she had woken up to find Nanami sitting on the couch, watching the news with his reindeer PJs on. Immediately, she had attacked him with hugs and kisses and all Nanami did was sit there and accept them, secretly loving it the whole time.
A deep voice throws her out of her thoughts. “You know, it’s rude to stare, right?”
Y/n chuckles quietly and makes her way over, wrapping her arms around him from behind, snuggling into his back.
“I like to stare at you, you’re cute,” she breathes in his scent once again, “ah, you smell so much better now. Like the nami I know.”
“I am not cute. I am a grown man.”
“C’mon, you can’t possibly be saying that right now. Not while you’re wearing these pants.” She coos, gently patting his butt. He goes silent, refusing to rebuttal knowing that he’s lost. He leans against the counter, his front facing her. Though he didn’t say anything, y/n sees this as an open invite to his arms. The rope of his arms finds her waist this time, her arms in an embrace around his neck.
“Whatever, tell me, how was your day, hm?” He posed, changing the subject.
“Same old, yenno. The kids and I had a discussion today about drugs and safety. It was cute, hearing them rat out their neighbours for smoking cigs and talk about how yucky they thought alcohol is. It was… sweet. How was work for you, hon?”
“Shit.” He retorts, closing his eyes, “Work is shit.”
“Oh come ON, I’m sure it’s not always that bad, right? Say, how’s your friend doing, you know, the one who kinda looks like one of my makeup brushes! Isn’t he good company?”
“Yeah, if good company means having to deal with a nuisance to society on a daily basis then by all means, yes, Gojo is wonderful company.” He joked, loosening his grip on her and making his way over to the stove to check on his sauce. She follows, opening the first drawer and pulling out a silver spoon, “You’re so mean sometimes. I think he’s a great guy to be around! I met him once, such a flirt.”
He teases calmly, “If you love him so much, why don’t you get with him?”
Taking her spoon, she lowers it into the pot and brings it back up to her face, blowing on it carefully before she puts it to her lips to taste. “Hmm, I would. But I don’t think he’s as big as you. I’ll have to pass.” She smirked, putting the spoon into her mouth as he watched and sighed in disappointment.
He glares,“God, you’re something else.”
“I’m just kidding, babe.” Bringing her spoon down for another taste. He swats at her hand and she retreats it with a whine. “Don’t do that. You’ve tried it already, and will again when we get to eat.” He scolded tenderly, “Plus, you shouldn’t be given these privileges anyway. It’s not like you helped out or anything.” He smiled, teasing her.
“Nanamiiii, I’m sorry,” she whines, half laughing, “I promise, I was going to help! I just got a little bit sleepy and sort of lost track of time…” He turned over to her and lifted her face with a finger under her chin. Laughing, he delicately caresses her cheek, tapping it admirably with a curled finger. The blonde chuckles and looks her in the eyes, “I’m just joking with you, love. I know you’ve been tired lately, I can tell. Why haven’t you been resting?”
Her smile falls and she sighs. Y/n wrapped her arms around his waist and brought him into her, hiding her face into his chest. It was true, she was exhausted but she didn’t deem it to be anything so serious. Work was just heavy this past week from having to grade her students’ work in time for report cards. All she wanted was the best for her kids and was finding ways to get the kids out of their comfort zones enough to do well in class. That reminded her, Nanami also mentioned having a student of his own.
She takes her face out of his chest and glances upwards. “It’s just this week of work, I promise I’ll be back to normal soon. I’ve just been busy with lesson plans and activities, yenno. Anyway, speaking of students, how’s the one you’ve been assigned to?” She posed in a soft tone. Half smiling, he turned around to add the strained pasta to the sauce, scattering it into the pot.
“He’s special. Quite lively. And cheerful. He reminds me of you sometimes,” his voice strains as he stretches to grab the bowl of cooked chicken to finally add into the pot, finishing the meal, “He’s got potential.” Y/n beamed with happiness. Nanami really seemed to like this kid and if he thought you had potential, then it sure as hell meant you had it.
She lets out a squeal, “EEEEEEK!!! That sounds amazing! I’m so happy for you!” Nanami suppressed a laugh and rolled his eyes, “It’s not that-”
“This calls for a drink, don’t you think?” She babbled with excitement, “We should have some wine! Right?”
Grabbing her wrist as she skipped her way over to the bottle, he reminded her, “You have school tomorrow. You always end up having more than needed and struggle to wake up in the morning.” Y/n frowned at his words, to which he noticed and tried to fix, “Tomorrow’s Friday, you can drink plenty tomorrow, hm? I’ll drink with you.”
“Ugh, fine. You’re right. But you have to promise.”
“I promise you ca-”
“No! You have to pinky-promise.” She demanded, pouting as he stuck out her pinky finger.
His heart skips a beat. Was she always this cute? Her angelic eyes stare into his tired ones. Bottom lip poking out, awaiting Nanami’s pinky to interlock with her own. He knew she took pinky-promises very seriously despite her grown age. It was among one of the many petty details that he cherished. Something about this pinky-promise was enough for her to ensure trust onto someone, it made him laugh. Her naivety is what made her so kind hearted, what allowed her to see the best in people. He felt that this naivety is why they’re together to begin with. He didn’t ever think she’d give him a chance. He reminisced of their first few encounters. The way she did her hair back then, the way she dressed, her shy smile and how she’d look at the floor whenever she’d blush. Maybe it was her timid nature that made him fall head over heels for her. Or maybe it was her generosity. Perhaps her beauty. He was unable to simply confine the reasoning for his infatuation with just a few traits. She grew overtime, more comfortable and less shy, she was more confident around him but he knew he could still make her blush so badly that she’d have to hide her face from him. He enjoyed their banter, her company. He felt it was luck. Or maybe it was fate. Who knows. He didn’t want to think so much about it. He wanted to live in the moment, adore her in this present time. In that instance, he felt the strong urge to kiss her. And so he did.
The kiss was short and sweet, yet full of an unfathomable amount of love. It took her aback, she didn’t quite see it coming. She too stood in the present moment, then and there, cherishing the man she loved.
His lips leave hers and he extends the smallest finger on his hand, declaring, “I pinky-promise.” And a ginormous grin washes over her face. In a whisper, she squeals and scoops her arms around his torso, resting her head onto his chest. They stay like this for a while, not too long really, but to them it felt like an eternity being in each other’s affectionate embrace. He goes to speak and she feels the vibrating boom of his voice make his way up from his chest.
“I love you.”
She sighs, “I love you too.”
Turning her head, y/n smoothly gets on her tip toes and clasps her arms around his neck, giving it a tender kiss and attempting to make a trail leading up to his sharp jaw. Catching onto her tactics he laughs, putting his big hand against her face and pushing her back.
“Seriously?” He chuckles, “You couldn’t wait till after dinner? Come on, take out the plates.”
“Wait for what? I was just kissing you! You’re so dramatic, Nami.” She lies, playing innocent. She knew damn well what she was trying to do. She wasn’t going to admit to it though. Taking out the plates and utensils, she readied the table.
After dinner and meaningless conversation, the two lovers tidied and headed towards their room. “Do yo wana wah a mohee tomowwow nie?” Y/n proposed from the bathroom as she brushed her teeth. He perks his head up, confused, “Do I want to what?” She spat into the sink and rinsed her mouth, repeating her question.
“I said, do you wanna watch a movie tomorrow night? Like at home? There’s this documentary I saw on Netflix, it looks really good! It’s crime related.”
“That sounds fine with me. Though, that’s only possible if you don’t end up drinking too much. I always have to get you to sleep early when you drink.” He states nonchalantly, nose poked into a thick book. She rolls her eyes and smiles, “I promise I won’t drink all that much.” Shifting his book to the opposing hand, Nanami silently takes his pinky finger and holds it out to y/n. She snickers and reciprocates.
“You’ve now pinky-promised. Don’t break it, y/n.”
“I never do.”
The nightstand lamp illuminates the room with a soft yellow glow. Shadows of objects on the nightstand hang on the walls. Laying in bed on her phone, y/n turns over to Nanami, who was still reading his book. “Nami, come lay next to me, I wanna cuddle. Please?” Her voice faint. He looks down at her and puts his book away immediately. He could use a cuddle too. Bringing himself down, he lays on his back, y/n closing the gap between the two. Their legs intertwine, her arm and head resting on his chest while one of his hands rested on her bum, the other dotingly playing with her hair. Neither of them spoke a word for a while. Until y/n broke the silence.
“So, were there no other pairs of pants you had left to wear or-”
“Please, be quiet.”
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ataraxianne · 3 years
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Okay I have this kinda gwynriel headcanon which I think it's pretty cute and I wanted to share
- in acosf Cassian said both Rhys and Azriel were interested in that universal-ish-globe-thing Rhys has in his study but Azriel was the one who liked it the most
- so let's imagine he starts to develop an interest in the galaxies and universes and stars and so on
- like he starts learning things and theories about other worlds and other universes
- he even starts buying a "globe" himself, bigger than the one Rhys has, he buys books and above all a telescope
- because he especially likes stars, for some reason. Because they're bright, they shine even despite all of the darkness around them, and its kinda reassuring to him to see that something so nice and bright can still be there, especially after he himself has spent a lot of time in the dark
- because they're his court symbol. Because those three stars are like he and his brothers, and all he ever wanted was to belong
- he likes galaxies because there is an abundance of stars, of these little bright dots that come all together in groups and even tho he doesnt particularly likes being in great crowds he likes being with his friends, his family. They're his galaxy
- and then one night it's his first night with Gwyn, and they're in his house at Rose Hall, which technically became his mother's house since she had preferred a bit of solitude in all these last years and he didn't mind giving her that and staying most of the times at the House of Wind
- but tonight he didn't want to go elsewhere, it seemed right to be there even tho he had never felt quite at home in that house because of all the time he spent elsewhere and how big and empty sometimes it felt to him
- but maybe being there with a female he liked - loved - so much - with his mate even tho it still seemed too surreal to say such a thing - would have made that house more of a home
- and so there they were, in his house, in his room, in his bed, cuddling after the night, face to face and his shadows were dancing and curling around her face and she was giggling ans grinning, taunting them with her free hand while the other one was resting on his chest
- and it was all so quiet and tranquil but at the same time clear and joyful and his ears had never been filled with such a pleasant sound
- and his shadows seemed to think the same
- and they kept twirling around Gwyn until she turned a bit more her head toward them and the light of the moon coming from the window reflected on her naked body and made her already so bright real eyes shine even more and he couldn't stop staring at her mesmerized and couldn't stop his hand from reaching up her glowing cheekbones and
- "you have galaxies on your face" he said as he caressed her cheeks covered in freckles, in an abundance of them, as many as the stars in the sky
- she turned her head back to him and smiled softly and then it turned into the usual smug she put on when she was taunting him, and he couldn't help smiling back to her because gods, how much she loved her, especially when she did that
- "oh, you should see the rest of my body, Shadowsinger" she said back
- but you play this game in two so "I'm perfectly sure I've seen a lot of that too" he responded, emulating her expression
- at that she smiled again, even more than before and he didn't know how that could have been possible but it was even lighter and brighter and not even the moon and all of the stars could ever have compared to Gwyn's smiles
- smiles that were only for him and he couldn't believe that and he was so weak and abandoned the game too soon and moved to kiss that smile, softly, as it was the most precious and fragile thing in the world and could allowed anything to ruin that
- and it felt so good, so right so right so right and then she was closer to him, hugging him tightly while still kissing and it was as warm as home
- they stayed in that position, intertwined like that even after the kiss had finished, looking in each other's eyes sometimes caressing, sometimes kissing again, always with a tiny smile on their faces - even tho Azriel thought his looked more like a drunken one
- and then Gwyn asked, with that lovely smug back on her face "will you fly me to one of the real galaxies one day?"
- and something clicked in Azriel's brain
- "come with me" he said, and kinda reluctantly broke the hug he was into and started putting something on
- "wait, now? where?" Gwyn asked, curiosity and amusement spreading on her face, but started putting her undergarments back on
- Azriel didn't answer but smiled again and handed her one of his robes
-(he didn't think much about it, it was just for her to cover since it was chilly and maybe she still preferred a bit of coverage, after so many years spent in the Library - but at first it reminded Gwyn of their first meeting, tho the scene change easily and swiftly, as soon as she put it on and felt like in a warm embrace that has his scent)
- she smiled lightly and reached Azriel, who was waiting for her next to the door and together they went out
- it was darker that they thought so they mostly stumbled in the hallways and Az accidentally hit his wing against the wall gaining a harsh look from Gwyn
- "dont you dare wake up your mother now" she hissed even tho he could sense the laugh she was trying to cover (and even tho, if his mother was to wake up, the rumours they provoked in his bedroom minutes ago would have already worked- but he didn't say it to Gwyn)
- he took her hand and lead her to a staircase, and they went up on the higher floor of the house, to one of his favourite rooms there
- as soon as they entered and he lightened up the room something told him that Gwyn might have liked it too
- the room was quiet big, full of all things, along with a couch and a low table, bookshelves who took one full wall, while the other two where almost completely made up of windows, who gave a full vision of the night sky outside
- in front of the windows there were two different globes, one similar to the one Rhys had and another, bigger and more complete than that his brother had
- and then a telescope, already positioned and turned toward the side sky
- Gwyn started moving in the room, cautiously, with her white skirt and his grey robe almost floating around her legs
- she reached the bigger globe and started admiring it, following the writings and drawings on it with his finger and turning around it with her wide eyes open and her mouth in a tight line in silent awe
- and then she started talking, with a melancholic smile and told him how there were lots of astronomy books in the Library but neither globes or telescope, and it was so painful to her and her curious mind not being able to see the incredible things she was reading and how much she relied on her imagination to try seeing at least in her mind that concept of infinity those books gave her
- so Azriel got closer and extended an hand, and walked her up to the telescope and letting her see it all, the stars the galaxies, the endless universe they lived in
- and they started talking
- and it was so relieving to both of them, to talk about something they didn't even know why they were so fond of, but that someone always kept them mesmerized and craving for more knowledge
- but especially talking about it with someone who they know would listen and they weren't kept back because it was not much of an interest for others or because it was pointless to the others general studies
- they spent the night like that, and he showed her books and star maps he collected and she too about books she read and theories she had or shared
- The next morning, Azriel woke up on the couch, charts and maps and open books spread over the table, while the sunset reflected over them and the female asleep in his arms, with his shadows slowly dancing around her and galaxies on her smiling face
IF YOU READ TIL HERE, THANK YOU!! HOPE YOU LIKED IT♡♡♡ If you didn't, sorry if I wasted your time😅
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stanknotstark · 3 years
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Toxic + Toxic = Healthy
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Summary: You and Loki break up. Both of you deal with it uncharacteristically. Loki sleeps with girls that look like you and you mess around with Thor in retaliation. It’s all very healthy stuff here.
You and Loki had had an unceremonious falling out a couple weeks ago and called it quits on the relationship you had built. You had been dating for 6 months but Loki had started an argument about how you didn’t love him, that you lie to him, that you probably sleep with men behind his back. Everything was false, of course, you’d never do that to Loki and it hurt that he even thought that. So, you told him that you need some time to think and Loki having to have the last word said maybe breaking up is the best option. You agreed and while you saw the shock in Loki’s eyes at your agreement you were too pissed to care and left. 
What makes it awkward is that you both live in Stark’s tower and still have to interact with each other. What makes it even more awkward is that the rest of the Avengers walk on egg shells every time they’re in the same room as the both of you. 
You’re taking it like a champ, you feel. You only cry about it when you go to sleep at night, in the privacy of your own room. Sometimes when you spar with your teammates you might hit a bit harder than necessary. You even manage to speak with Loki civilly. On the outside it would appear that you’re completely fine with the break up, but on the inside and behind closed doors you’re literally falling apart. You’re sure the only person who realizes this is Natasha because that woman sees everything. 
You almost lose your composure the first time you see Loki bring a girl back to the tower. It’s only been three weeks and he’s already whoring around. You’re livid, he claims to love you then gets over you in three weeks? Bullshit. 
What you fail to realize at first is that the girl he brings to the tower kind of looks like you. It isn’t until you’re in the kitchen eating breakfast that you realize this. She comes in, only wearing one of Loki’s too large t-shirts and enjoys a bowl of cereal with you. 
You don’t get mad at the girl, you’re mad of course, but she’s not the problem. She doesn’t know what happened between you and Loki. She has no idea you even dated Loki. So you talk with her like you would any stranger. With a happy smile, a joyful voice, and morbid curiosity about having a new person in the tower. 
“It’s really cool to see the tower from the inside. I always look up and imagine what you guys live like.” The girl says with a smile at you. 
You smile back, “It’s pretty laid back, honestly. Nothing too exciting happens around here.” 
“That’s what it looks like,” The girl laughs a light laugh, “I doubt I’ll ever come back, Loki said it was a one time thing, but I’m happy I got the chance anyways.” 
You squint at the girl when she’s not looking at you because she’s eating her cereal and question everything. Loki doesn’t do one night stands. That’s what the god had told you the first time you both fell into bed together. He had explicitly stated. “If I bed you, I mean to have you forever, I do not play games when it comes to courting.”
You hum at the girl and truly look at her. Her hair is cut at about your length and although the color is a tiny bit off it’s still in the same general shade as yours. Her features are vastly different from yours but her body shape is almost exactly like yours too. 
At this conclusion you’ve thought of three things. One, Loki is trying to make you jealous. Two, Loki is showing there are many other girls just like you he can use. Three, Loki is still hung up on you and has really bad coping skills. 
You bring you mug up coffee to your lips as you ponder over your conclusion and raise your eyes when Natasha walks into the kitchen. She raises her brows at the girl, with a glance to you, who introduces herself as Nat reaches in the fridge and pulls a carton of eggs out. 
As Natasha waits for her pan to heat up so she may cook her eggs she questions the girl. 
“What is it you do?” 
“Oh, I’m an accountant for a small company here in-” The girl stops and looks at you, concerned when you start choking on your coffee, “-are you ok?” She asks, you nod still choking a little but get it under control. 
“I used to be an accountant, I started out with a small company based in Colorado then moved here when Stark offered me a better job.” You tell her. 
“Oh! I just started my job seeing how I just graduated, but it’s my dream to work for someone as significant as Tony Stark.” 
You smile and nod, “I’ll put in a good word for you, see if we can get you a promotion you can’t deny.” You say, glancing at Nat who is smirking devilishly at you. You truly do want the best for this girl but at the same time you’d like to see Loki squirm with his one night stand working in the same tower he resides in.  
The next time it happens is two days later. This time you’re in the common area with Bruce, teaching him how to play Minecraft at night when the elevator dings. You both look up and see Loki ravishing some poor girl on the elevator’s wall. They let out small moans and gasps. Then Loki turns and looks out the elevator to see you and Bruce staring at them, game completely forgotten. 
You’re sure Bruce is wide eyed and blushing like crazy, you can’t see his face seeing as he’s turned towards the elevator. However, you control your face and look bored with a raised brow at Loki. 
“My apologies, I thought I had pressed my floor.” Loki says.
The girl he was just basically eating up giggles and pokes her head around his body to look at you two. 
“We’re really sorry!” 
They both pull from each other but don’t truly stop touching, they’re just in a presentable position now. Loki pushes his correct floor number and you watch as they disappear in the elevator. 
When Bruce looks at you he’s not blushing or wide eyed. He actually looks a bit green in the face. 
“You ok?” You ask, confused. 
“It’s wrong of him to do that to you. He’s smart, has to have his floor memorized. The only way he’d hit this floor was because he knows you’re here.” Bruce says with a sigh, the green hue in his face receding. 
You chuckle, nodding to the controller in Bruces hand so he can continue harvesting his wheat. 
“It’s ok, he’s always been really bad when it comes to coping skills.” 
Bruce watches the TV as he harvests wheat but gives you a glance with a raised brow. 
“The women he’s bringing to the building look like me. Or at least the first one did for sure, I wasn’t really looking at this one. The last one even had the same job I used to have.”
Bruce frowns at the TV then realization dawns on his face. “Now that you mention it, this girl did have the same characteristics as you...” 
You hum with a small smile. “Loki is going to be Loki, I’m just trying my best to get over him and move on.” 
You watch as Bruce pauses the game and looks at you with an evil grin. You’re a little shocked because you’ve never seen the doctor show any emotions like this. His eyes are far away in thought, but he smirks with malicious intent. 
“What if you dated one of us? Not really, but in public you would kiss and hug, hold hands do all the couple stuff in front of Loki?” Bruce asks. 
Your face must be shocked because Bruce chuckles. 
Breaking from your shock you smirk back at the doctor. “And just who would I date?” 
Bruce thinks for a second, “Well Loki....” Then you see a sinister look come over his face. “Thor.”
You gasp and slap Bruce on the shoulder, “That’s evil, Bruce!”
Bruce chuckles and shrugs his shoulders with a now timid look on his face. 
“I live with a bunch of people that have perfected getting under each others skin, I’ve picked up on how to do it too.” 
“I’ll talk with Thor later. Tell him of your nefarious plan, it’s genius!” You say relishing in the fact that you’ll be able to break Loki’s heart more, the god deserves it you justify. 
You talk with Thor and kickoff the plan right away. The next morning, Loki actually comes in and has breakfast with his one night stand across from you at the table as you enjoy staring at the newspaper, waiting on Thor to come in. They’re being sickly cute, feeding each other, giggling, and just overall making you want to throw up. You know Loki is truly nothing like this, he’s just putting on a show for you. 
When Thor walks in he gives a big good morning, throwing you a smirk Loki misses because he’s too busy kissing ass to his girl. Thor makes coffee for you and brings it over to you. When he sets it in front of you he says, “Just how you like it!” 
Then Thor leans down and takes your lips into his. Thor really puts on a show and brings a hand up to caress at your jaw as he delves into your mouth with his tongue. When he pulls away you’re breathless and look up at him with adoration. Both the gods really know how to use their mouths...and tongues for that matter. 
You lick your lips and look at the girl Loki brought home when she makes a remark. 
“Looks like we’re not the only ones who got lucky!” She giggles. 
You smile at her, glance at Loki who is glaring daggers into you, then look back up to Thor as you raise your coffee mug to him and say, “Thanks, sweetheart.” 
Thor smiles down at you and offers to make you breakfast but you decline saying you need to help Tony with something. Before you leave the room Thor pulls you into another kiss, lets you go, and slaps your ass as you walk away. You give a small yelp and giggle. Enjoying every second you feel Loki glaring at you before you leave the kitchen. 
You spend a few hours with Tony just talking as he works on his suit. You came down here to hide and be happy at the whole situation that had just happened. Tony laughs uncontrollably when you tell him what’s going on. 
“This is either gonna turn into amazing make up sex or a really big argument.” Tony says, wiping a hand over his face, smearing it with oil. 
You laugh as you sit on his work table, swinging your legs. 
“As long as he hurts just as much as I do, I don’t care which one happens.” 
“That’s toxic.” Tony states without malice. “But so is Loki so it kind of cancels each other out, right?” He asks, throwing you a devious look tapping his wrench to his chin as he does. 
“Ya, we’ll go with that.” You say, jumping from the table, getting ready to leave the lab.
“Thanks for letting me hide for a bit.” You say.
“Anytime!” Tony says over his shoulder as you leave. 
You’re walking down the hallway to your room when Loki materializes out of nowhere and pins your to the wall. His left hand pins your waist to the wall, his right hand is balled in a fist and rests on the wall next to your face. His face is inches from yours, absolutely livid. 
“You play with fire without thinking about the consequences, sweetheart.” Loki spits out the nick name you used earlier.
“What? You didn’t expect me to fight back when you started fucking girls three weeks into our break up?” You ask through gritted teeth. “You were supposed to be in love with me Loki, if you were really in love you would have waited a bit longer.” 
Loki’s face turns to regret before he gets angry again. 
“You could have went for anyone other than my brother, you can’t act like you’re holier than me.” 
You scoff and push at Loki who doesn’t budge. “You started it when you brought home girls that look like me. Making me think I was expendable, replaceable.” You say, your voice cracking when you say replaceable. “I may act like I’m fine all the time but my heart is in pieces Loki. You decided to take my heart and step all over it like I meant nothing to you!” You begin crying.
Loki furrows his brows at your tears, like he actually cares that he’s the one who made them fall. 
You close your eyes so you don’t have to look at his face anymore. Silently crying there. You feel Loki wipe your tears with his right hand, his left hand keeps you pinned though which is smart because if you could break his grip you’d run from the situation. His right hand stops wiping at your tears when they stop falling and slides his hand down till it’s cusping your neck.
“That was not my intention.” Loki finally says in a soft voice. 
You open your eyes and frown at the god. “So it was just you trying to cope in a really bad way...” You say, deflating in his hold but leaning into his hand. You haven’t felt his touch in weeks and your body is practically craving it. You hate that you react like this. 
Loki gives a sad smile. “We are a concoction of toxic chemicals. We may not get a happy ending...” Loki whispers, his thumb caressing your jawline where his hand holds your neck, his eyes roaming over your face, “But I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re worth every second.” Loki finishes, closing his eyes and kissing you.
You lean into the kiss, tasting Loki and losing yourself in his mouth as he dominates your weak fighting with tongue. His left hand comes up to grab your hair and pull at it causing you to gasp into his mouth. He practically swallows the gasp and moans. His right hand squeezes your neck then drifts down over your breast, making sure to flow over your nipple, and then grabs your hip in a bruising grip and pulls your body to arch into his. 
When you pull from his kiss you look into his eyes and see nothing but love and lust. Then it changes to a frown and insecurity. 
“Did you sleep with him?” Loki whispers, not sure he wants to know the answer. 
“No.”
Loki sighs and uses both hands to hug you into his body, burying his face in your neck. When he pulls away to look at you you see the love there again.
“I love you.” He says sweetly. 
You smile up at him, “I love you too.” 
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let-the-dream-begin · 4 years
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In My Daughter’s Eyes Chapter 31: Home For Christmas
Chapter 30
Read on AO3
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Christmas morning began with a solid weight on Claire’s back that knocked the wind out of her. Eyes still closed, she let out a stifled oomf, and heard a low chuckle beside her. (They’d both made sure they were fully clothed before falling asleep for this exact reason.)
“Aye, good morning, leannan.”
Claire groaned; of course the man was already awake, and had probably been more than capable of stopping Faith from pouncing on her. When the tiny slaps to her head began, he finally intervened.
“Alright, alright, let’s be nice.” The weight was removed, and Claire finally opened her eyes, rolling over to see that Jamie had lifted Faith bodily off of her, and was holding her up on his shins, holding her hands: playing airplane.
“Merry Christmas,” Jamie crooned up to Faith, and she squealed, kicking her legs. If Jamie didn’t have her hands, she’d have toppled over. But Claire knew he’d never let her fall. “Aye, merry Christmas, lass.”
Claire sighed heavily and forced herself to sit up, smiling lazily at the pair of them. “Merry Christmas, baby girl.”
Claire might as well have not said a thing; she was still giggling at Jamie and kicking her legs. Claire gave him a look, and he winked at her before letting Faith gently plop on the mattress between them. 
“Hi,” Claire said, bending down to kiss her. “Merry Christmas.”
Faith hummed in response, squirming out of bed by climbing over Claire.
“Merry Christmas, Sassenach.”
Claire looked up to see Jamie sitting up, hair tousled, clothes rumpled from playing with her daughter, a lazy, peaceful grin on his face. Even as Faith relentlessly tugged on Claire’s hand, groaning impatiently, Claire leaned over to kiss him.
“Merry Christmas, love.”
Faith could be held up no longer, and soon both adults were being led to the tree, crouched over so as to have one each of her little hands. Gillian, thank God, already had coffee brewing, having already been trampled by Faith herself on the air mattress. Gillian had offered to get a hotel room this year, not wanting to overcrowd Claire now that she knew Jamie would be joining them, but Claire would not hear of it, and neither would Jamie. Both ladies were wearing their matching set of Christmas pajamas, and Jamie dramatically remarked how left out he felt to not have received his own pair for this year.
“I’ll remember that fer next year,” Gillian said wryly, handing them each their own festive mugs of coffee.
Air mattress out of the way and coffee distributed, Faith was tearing into the first of three bigger boxes before anybody could stop her.
“That’s from Auntie Gi, darling,” Claire said, nestled tightly against Jamie, laying her still sleepy head on his shoulder, smiling contentedly. Claire knew exactly what was in those three identically sized boxes, and she fully expected the joyful stimming that erupted from Faith. It was an Animator Doll, the Anna one. Claire had seen them in the Disney store and decided that Faith absolutely had to have one, then Gi had offered to get her one, and so had Jamie.
Faith handed the unwrapped box to Gillian without so much as looking at her before she moved onto the next one, a gesture that very clearly meant: free her from her box immediately.
The three adults chuckled, Gillian muttering to herself as she headed to the kitchen to get scissors.
“That’s from Mummy,” Claire said, though she was sure it was falling on deaf ears. Claire had gotten the Elsa one, and the box was shuffled over to Gillian, still just beginning to open the Anna box. Faith moved onto the third box, Claire reminding her it was from Jamie as she got up from the couch, abandoning his warmth to help Gillian with the boxes before they fell behind and Faith had a fit.
The third doll was Merida, the one Jamie insisted he get for her. Faith hummed loudly and flapped her hands, squealing with delight. She looked over to see Auntie Gi and Mummy busy trying to free Anna and Elsa, so she picked up the box to shuffle over to Jamie in her silent request.
“D’ye like it, Faith?” Jamie said, setting his mug down to take the box. “She’s our lass, aye?”
Faith nodded, then bounded back to the tree.
“Faith Julia,” Claire called. “I won’t finish opening these until you say thank you.”
She hastily kissed Gillian’s cheek, to which she replied, “Ye’re welcome, Pipsqueak,” then Claire’s, answered by “You’re welcome, lovie,” and then Jamie’s.
“Ye’re very welcome, mo chridhe.”
The next few gifts were from Santa: a few DVD’s Faith had been asking for (one day she pulled up a list on her tablet of every single Disney film ever made alongside their DVD cover and started pointing to the ones they didn’t own, some that Claire hadn’t thought about in years) and a few she had not, a plush of the pig and chicken from Moana, a new puzzle, and a set of Merida pajamas. By the time Faith got through tearing all the wrapping off, all of her new treasures were freed from their boxes and plastic wrapping. The pajamas had come last, and before anyone could stop her, she was pulling her nightgown over her head.
“Faith, wait, that’s not — ”
Before Claire could remind her that she was to get dressed in her bedroom, and that anywhere else was inappropriate, Jamie was already holding the shirt over her head, smiling at her as she poked her head through. Claire shook her head, trying to suppress the smile that insisted on making its way across her face. She just sighed, letting Jamie finish dressing her, and Gillian snorted into her coffee mug.
While Faith got started arranging her dolls and toys on the coffee table and finding spaces for her new DVD’s among the rest of her collection, the adults began their own gift exchange. Gillian and Jamie exchanged gifts first, each giving the other Scottish-themed holiday baubles, causing all three adults to laugh. Claire got Gillian a shot glass with a bawdy quote that served her all too well, and Gillian got Claire a small potted succulent, the pot having been hand painted by her.
Claire was nervous; she was always a terrible gift-giver. Frank had been content to receive the most generic man-gifts known to humankind, but Claire knew full well that Jamie deserved more than that. Yet even as she handed him the box, she was worried she’d still gotten just another generic man-gift.
Jamie grinned at her as he took the box, opening it with care, as if to not disturb the wrapping. He would be the type to open presents that way. He set the paper aside and opened the box.
“Open the card second,” Claire said quickly as he picked up the envelope. He looked at her sideways, then set the envelope aside. After unfolding the wrapping paper, he pulled it out: a gray Scottish tweed cap.
Jamie was grinning ear to ear, examining the fabric. “It’s authentic,” Claire chimed in. “Made sure of it.”
“It’s braw, Sassenach.”
“I saw on Facebook your father had one in a lot of your photos, but I never saw you with one. So I thought I’d give you a bit of Scotland for Christmas.”
His grin spread wider, if that was even possible. “Thank you, Sassenach. I love it.”
“Put it on,” Claire demanded. “I want to see.”
Jamie chuckled, but he obliged, and Claire’s heart fluttered.
“What d’ye think?”
Claire leaned in so their faces were inches apart. “You’re as dashing as ever.”
He captured her lips sweetly, both of them grinning into the kiss.
“Oi,” Gillian barked. “Ye’ve an audience, here.”
They broke apart, still grinning, and Claire rolled her eyes. “Alright.” She swiped the cap off of Jamie’s head and put it on herself. “Open the card now.”
Jamie chuckled, taking up the envelope. “Ye dinna look bad yerself, lass.”
Claire stuck her chin up proudly. “A girlfriend always ensures she looks good in the clothing she buys her boyfriend.”
Jamie shook his head as he tore open the envelope, a blush creeping up his neck.
“What?”
“Nothin’.”
“What?” she demanded, shoving him by the shoulder.
He glanced at Gillian and then sighed in resignation. “I was thinkin’,” he whispered in her ear so that only she could hear, “what ye might look like wearing just the cap.”
Claire’s stomach flipped, her breath stuttering. “We’ll just have to see, won’t we?”
He bit her earlobe in response, and she squealed.
“Oi!” Gillian shouted. “There’s a bairn. No’ to mention me.”
The pair of them just laughed, and Jamie continued tearing into the envelope. Claire remembered exactly what she’d written; she’d agonized over it for hours and days:
Merry Christmas, Jamie. You’ve changed my life for the better in every imaginable way. I love you.
Your Sassenach,
Claire
He kissed her again, and Gillian was no doubt rolling her eyes.
“Trust me, mo ghraidh,” he said. “Ye’ve changed my life, too. Made me whole.”
Claire briefly indulged his beautiful words, stroking his jaw, before pulling away so he would look at what was inside the card.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a subscription to something called Flaviar,” Claire explained. “Once a quarter you get all these samples of rare whisky. Right up your alley.”
Jamie beamed. “This is unbelievable!”
“You can go on the website and customize your account with your personal preferences,” Claire went on.
“Sassenach…” he laughed. “It’s great. It’s so great.”
Claire smiled back at him. “I’m glad you like it.”
With one final kiss (and an eye roll from Gillian), Jamie picked up his gift to Claire and handed it to her, a large square box. He looked just as antsy as she had felt giving him her gift. She tore open the paper with no such grace that he’d possessed when opening his. There was a plain white box, and Claire opened the lid and gasped. She reached in and pulled out a miniature greenhouse of sorts: a white framed structure of clear plastic, open on one side. There was tissue paper packed inside the structure, and Claire unburied a box labeled: Medicinal & Herbal Tea Indoor Herb Garden Starter Kit.
Her heart positively melted as another small gasp escaped her lips. “Jamie…”
“I noticed yer wee balcony garden a while back, Faith’s party I think,” he said. “Figured ye missed yer wee herbs in the cold months. So.”
“Oh, Jamie…there’s so much here!” She turned the box over and rattled off the list of seeds included. “Chamomile, Lavender, Lemon Mint, Calendula, Yarrow, Sage, Rosemary, Fennel, Lemon Balm, Peppermint, Hyssop…” She trailed off, realizing no one else had any bloody clue what she was saying. “This is more than I was even able to find myself.”
He shrugged. “Amazon has it all.”
“It’s perfect. It’s wonderful.” Her heart was fluttering; she felt like a kid in a candy store. “This, did you get this on Amazon, too?” She gestured to the greenhouse.
“Oh. I made that.”
Claire was gobsmacked, her mouth falling open. “Made it?”
“Aye. Wasna too difficult. Ye could just put them on the windowsill, but I thought it would be nicer in something a bit more decorative.” He suddenly looked very shy, as if apprehensive of the quality of his own handiwork.
“It’s beautiful.” She cupped his face in her hands, having put the box of herbs in her lap. “All of it. You are amazing.”
He was blushing, and Claire wanted to kiss every inch of his face that was splotching red. He still had no idea how bloody wonderful he was.
“There’s, ehm, one more thing.” He pointed to the packed tissue paper inside the greenhouse, and Claire reached inside, pulling out a small, long and narrow box. She tossed her head back, laughing out loud. It was a little dirt poker with a ceramic heart on the end that read: “I Dig You.”
Claire tossed it to Gillian, who also began snorting with laughter. “Oh, that’s awful.”
“Aye, aye,” Jamie said, laughing. “I couldna resist.”
“Oh, God…” Claire said, still laughing as she cupped his face again. “I dig you, too, love.”
Claire felt very much like Faith with her toys, wanting to tear into her gift and begin planting everything immediately. Sadly, it would have to wait, as there was much to do today before they met the Murrays at Jamie’s apartment.
“Faithie,” Claire crooned. She had finished filing away her DVD’s and was now surveying the dolls and toys she’d arranged atop the coffee table. “It’s your turn, lovie. Remember your gifts?”
She did not respond at all or give any indication that she’d heard her.
“Faith, come here,” Claire said, getting an idea. She took off Jamie’s cap. “Do you want to wear Jamie’s hat?”
She immediately picked her head up and scampered over to them, grabbing greedily for the cap. Claire let Faith feel the textures inside and out before plopping it on her little head.
“You look lovely,” Claire said, poking her nose. “This was my gift to Jamie. Where are your gifts, baby? Do you remember?”
Faith just giggled, spinning around with her hands on her head, on the hat. Claire sighed with a laugh, taking her by the shoulders and redirecting her to the tree. “Here, darling. See? Give one to Auntie Gi, one to Jamie, and one to me.”
Claire knew what was inside the shoddy wrapping; Faith had brought them home from school and they’d wrapped them together. She watched as Faith obeyed, handing one to each of the three adults, and Claire had to pull her into her lap to stop her from bolting off. They all opened them at the same time, Claire letting Faith “help” to keep her engaged.
“Oh! Look at that!” Claire said with exaggerated excitement, despite having seen it already. The other adults gave similar verbal reactions. “Oh, who is that? Who’s that, Faith?”
It was a large foam snowflake, each of the three decorated generously with glitter of all festive colors, a photograph in the center. The teacher had asked how many adults were in Faith’s life that would need one, which Claire appreciated. Faith still did not like to be photographed, so only half of her face was visible, due to the fact that she was hiding in Angus’s fur. But, it was better than the ones with her hands covering her entire face. And it was rather sweet, really, the way she was hugging her dog.
“Who is that, Faith?” Claire said again, pointing. Faith jabbed her finger into the picture, humming and bouncing in her lap. “Yes, who is it?” With an explosive squeal, Faith poked herself in the chest over and over. “Yes, good job!”
“Good girl,” Jamie echoed, and Gillian said, “Yay!”
“Who else?” Jamie chimed in, pointing at Angus in the photograph. “Who’s that, Faith?”
Faith gave another little shriek and pointed at Angus, chewing at his Christmas treat in the corner of the room on his bed.
“Ah! Good job!” Jamie gave her tiny thigh a squeeze, and the women cheered quietly as well.
“Thank you, baby,” Claire crooned, hugging her tightly and kissing her temple. “I love my present. Go give hugs.” She passed Faith over to Jamie, who held her tightly to his chest in his lap.
“Thank you, m’annsachd. I love it very much. I’m gonnae put it right on my tree when we get to my house.” He gave her one final squeeze before sending her off to Gillian, who had to call Faith’s name several times to get her to actually come to her.
“Thank ye very much, my sweet wee lass.” She gave her a loud kiss on the cheek. “Best present yet this year.”
Presents all distributed and Faith’s ornament hung on the tree, they moved into the kitchen for their Edible Arrangement breakfast. When Claire had explained to Jamie the Christmas traditions, he’d offered to pick up the ingredients for the cookies. When he’d asked, “What don’t ye have?” and Claire had answered: “Uh…the cookie mix and the icing?” he’d laughed out loud. Evidently, he’d thought they’d be making them from scratch, which was quite bold of him to assume, considering who he was dating. In the end, Jamie brought over ingredients for homemade sugar cookies, and the four of them had a grand old time forming the dough, rolling it out, and using the cookie cutters, all with Christmas music playing, of course.
While they were baking, Jamie encouraged Faith to pick out one of her new Christmas DVDs to watch. Claire had mentioned that she was not a fan of using streaming services, wanting to feel the physical copy in her hands and have a space where it belonged that was in her control. So Jamie purchased half a dozen movies that were already streaming somewhere, being that he wanted to watch a Christmas movie with his girls, but wanted to do it in a way that Faith would be happiest with.
And so, Jamie sat squished into the corner of the couch with Claire curled into him like a kitten, Faith at attention between the cushions with Gillian on the other side of her, with Home Alone playing on the tellie. Claire was nursing her second mug of coffee, warmed by it head to toe, along with Jamie’s occasional kiss to her head, or the deep rumbling in his chest that echoed against Claire’s back when he laughed.
Last Christmas, Claire had confidently told Gillian that it was the best one she’d ever had. And now, the future was bright with possibility, the promise of each holiday getting better and better with Jamie there. Hell, each month, each week, each day, every hour, minute, and second was better than the last with Jamie in her life.
God, she was never letting him go.
——
Jamie had given his sister a key to his apartment for her to use in the event that they were late coming from Claire's apartment because of Faith or any other mishaps. They were, in fact, perfectly on time, arriving at 1:30 exactly, giving them plenty of time to get things in order for the arrival of Jamie’s family.
And yet, Jenny’s rental car was there waiting anyway.
Jamie sighed, rolling his eyes as he parked his car.
“Shoulda known,” he said. “Maybe she’d come when I wanted her to if I told her four.”
Claire squeezed his knee, and he could tell she was trying not to laugh. “She’s going to have all the food out already, isn’t she?”
“Aye, that she is.”
Faith insisted on being carried by Jamie, refusing to even let herself be unbuckled from her car seat until Jamie tried. This left Claire and Gillian to handle the presents and Angus. Gillian had driven over Claire’s car so Jamie could spend the night with his family after they had to go back to Claire’s.
Jamie announced his presence as he unlocked the front door, but there was no need. Everyone was sitting in his living room, everyone except Jenny. Before he could ask, his father cut in:
“We tried tae offer help,” he said wryly. “Yer darling martyr sister shoved us out of the kitchen and told us she didna need us mucking anything up.”
“Out of my kitchen,” Jamie grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Aye, well, Merry Christmas, everyone.”
“Merry Christmas, son.” Brian stood up out of the recliner to embrace his son, cupping Faith’s head gently as he pulled away. “Merry Christmas, lassie. Great to see ye again.”
Jamie took note that his nephew was playing the Wii again, and he briefly wondered which of the three adults had known how to set it up. Unless the wee imp already figured it out.
“Merry Christmas, Claire,” Brian said warmly, embracing Claire tightly. “This is Gillian?”
“Yes! My best friend, and a Scot to boot,” Claire stepped aside.
“Pleasure,” Gillian said, shaking Brian’s hand. “Thank ye so much fer having me.”
“Any family of my son’s lass is family of mine,” he said, genuine as anything.
Ian greeted everyone next, and it only took a few seconds before Maggie was on Claire’s hip. Jamie watched with weak knees as she babbled to the baby and made adorable faces at her, reveling in the sound of their mingled giggling. Offers of playing with the baby was the only way to get Faith to allow herself to be put down, and then Jamie was off to the kitchen.
“Merry Christmas, Janet,” he said, watching as she finished arranging appetizers on a large serving plate.
“Merry Christmas, brother,” she said, her voice chipper.
“I see ye’ve got yer son on more of those mind-numbing video games.”
“Och, come off it. It was the only way to get him out of my hair.”
“Ye could have waited fer us. I could have helped.”
“Nonsense. I’m used to being the host on Christmas. Why should that change?”
“…Because ye’re not the host this Christmas?”
She shot him a dangerous look, and he gave up, putting his hands up in surrender. “We’re just inside when ye’re finished, o gracious host.”
Jamie produced the ornament Faith had made him and let her place it on the tree, and Ian and Brian remarked how lovely it was, how fine it looked on the tree. Shortly after, Jenny fluttered in with the tray of arranged food, and then the whisky and wine was flowing. Wee Jamie was pulled away from the Wii so the repeat marathon of A Christmas Story could be put on, and the adults sat and talked and laughed while Faith went back and forth between her mother’s lap, Auntie Gi’s lap, Jamie’s lap, and the baby mat that Maggie was playing on.
Jamie was going on and on about how great Faith was doing at the stables, how well her transition had gone between therapists. He knew full well that around this time last year, Jenny had been overly concerned with the propriety of this relationship, whether or not it was a relationship back then not mattering in the least to her. He emphasized how important it had been for there to be a boundary set between mom’s boyfriend and horse therapist. Jessica and Faith were developing a really special bond that was really lovely to see from the outside.
Not to mention that standing there with Claire and cheering her on together was one of the highlights of his entire week.
“What day of the week did ye say she goes?” Ian asked.
“Fridays,” Claire answered.
“Oh, and there’s a break fer the holidays,” Ian said, sounding sad. “I would ha’ loved to see her ride. We’ll be flying back before it starts again.”
Jamie’s chest warmed, and he felt Claire melt against him, and looked down to see her genuinely touched.
“I…I have videos, if you want to see,” Claire said tentatively.
“Oh do ye?” Ian lit up, and Jenny and Brian beamed.
“Yeah, hold on…”
Jamie watched as Claire clicked through her photos and found all the ones grouped by location at the stables. She scrolled all the way back to last September, and Jamie’s heart flipped.
“I’ve never seen these,” he said, leaning in.
“Oh,” Claire said, and he could feel her blush before he saw it, heat radiating from her sweater-clad form. “Well, at the time it didn’t seem appropriate to show you. But yes…there are quite a few that you…haven’t seen.”
Before long, Claire was sitting back as Jamie and his family combed through every photo and video of Faith at the stables. There were hundreds from her first day alone, and when they got to Halloween, Jenny smacked her brother’s arm.
“Oh, come on! Dinna tell me that wasna planned!”
“It wasn’t,” Claire said. “Faith chose it because Merida rides horses.”
“She’s sae smart,” Brian said, oozing with pride. Jamie’s eyes twinkled.
“Oh…look at this one…” Jenny put a hand on her heart. “The way he’s looking at her, even all the way back then!”
Ian and Brian nodded in agreement, smiling. Jamie leaned in and felt his breath catch in his throat. He remembered the moment clear as anything.
“Could I get one of her with Pippi before you put her away? Without the helmet?”
“Aye, of course.”
Faith hadn’t wanted to move just yet, and Jamie hadn’t seen the harm in letting them have one more moment together. And apparently Claire had snapped the exact moment where Jamie was struck by how amazing it was that the stars had aligned just so to allow him to have even the smallest part in this child’s life, remarkable as she was.
Even all the way back then.
“I used to stare at that one,” Claire admitted sheepishly, quietly, as if trying to confess to Jamie alone. “Random times during the day, I’d find myself looking at it. And I still managed to convince myself until July that that wasn’t strange at all.”
Jamie chuckled wetly, blinking away unexpected tears. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and fervently kissed the crown of her head.
“It’s like I knew,” Claire said, even quieter, as Jamie’s family started playing a video on the phone. “Like I knew that someday she’d be yours.”
Yours.
Jamie’s eyes lifted up to see Faith rocking and flapping her hands on Maggie’s play mat, bottom lip tucked firmly under her teeth, humming.
Mine.
“That,” Jamie whispered into her curls, “is the greatest gift you could give me, Sassenach.”
She kissed his cheek, and they returned their attention to the phone. After several minutes and several repeated, “Oh, beautiful!” “She’s a fine rider!” and “What a braw lass!”, the conversation steered in different directions. Jamie noticed that Claire kept turning her head toward wee Jamie, and during a lull in the conversation, she called out to him.
“Your uncle told me you play football, is that true?”
“Aye!” the lad burst proudly, eyes immediately lighting up. He shuffled closer to her, standing in front of where she sat on the couch.
“That’s amazing.” Claire beamed. “I wish I could see you play. I bet you’re so good.”
“I am,” he said, nodding curtly. “Ye can come next Christmas, and watch me then!”
Claire looked up at Jamie, who nodded encouragingly. “Yes, I’ll have to do just that.”
“I’ve got videos of some of his games,” Jenny chimed in. “If ye really want to see.”
“Of course I do!” Claire’s voice was filled with genuine excitement, and little Jamie was alight with joy.
“I want tae see! Let me watch!”
“Dinna crowd her, now.”
“No, it’s alright. Do you want to sit with me?”
The boy bit his lip and scrambled into Claire’s lap, and she accepted him into her embrace like it was the most natural thing in the world. Jamie watched, his heart melting as his nephew snuggled closer and closer into her, giggling every time Claire cheered for him on the screen. When he was able to tear his eyes away from them, he looked up to see Jenny beaming at them as well. She looked up, and their eyes met over Claire’s head, and Jenny’s smile widened.
It struck Jamie that of course his wee nephew would feel left out with all this talk about Faith, and he was far too young to understand that her achievements were all the more special because of her disability. So naturally he would feel like nobody cared as much about him as they did about Faith. And it was just so like Claire to notice that, and to take the initiative to make him feel included, make him feel special.
“Oh! What a save!” Claire exclaimed, and little Jamie laughed. Apparently he’d been playing goalie that day, and had actually managed to toe away the ball that was headed at him at about half a mile an hour. “You saved the whole game!”
Jenny flicked her eyes back to the screen. “Aye, that’s one of my favorites.” She ruffled her son’s hair, and Claire smiled at her. Jenny glanced up at Jamie once more, and she winked at him. In that moment, Jamie heard her loud and clear.
She's a keeper, brother.
Before long, dinner was served. When Claire complimented the ham, both Jamie and Jenny answered with thanks, and Jamie shot Jenny a look.
“Just because you put it in the oven doesna take away the marinating and seasoning I did.”
Claire just laughed, shaking her head at the two of them. “I can’t imagine what it was like to have raised those two,” she said, leaning over to Brian.
“Aye, ye’ve no idea.” They shared a laugh like lifelong friends cracking an inside joke, and Jamie had to laugh, too.
Could she have fit in any more perfectly?
After dinner was present time. Wee Jamie was bouncing off the walls nearly as bad as Faith. The kids of course went first, and Jamie made sure to emphasize that his nephew’s gift was from him and Claire both. She had helped him pick it and they split the cost. It was a wooden train set, complete with curves and ups and downs and Thomas and a few friends. Jenny chided both of them for buying something so expensive, but Claire waved it off.
“It’s from both of us,” Claire insisted. “And look how happy he is.”
“Thank you, Uncle! Thank you, Auntie!”
Jamie’s stomach flipped. “Lad—”
“You’re very welcome,” Claire interrupted, accepting the crushing embrace he was squeezing around her legs. “I’m so glad you love it.”
“Aye, you’re welcome, lad. But—”
“No, Jamie, he can call me that. It’s okay.” Claire said quickly. “If that’s how it makes sense to him, then I don’t see why not.”
He looked back and forth between the lad’s shining face and Claire’s flushed cheeks, then up at Jenny, who shrugged with a smirk.
“Aye. That’s…that’s fine.”
By the time Jamie’s head stopped spinning, Faith was already halfway finished tearing open the first box that she’d reached for. It was a horse for a barbie doll to accompany the rest of the gift in another box. Wee Jamie tore open the gift from his grandda while Faith reached for the other box, and Jamie watched with bated breath, knowing exactly what was inside. Claire crouched down next to her daughter, cheering on Faith’s paper tearing excitedly.
“Oh, Faithie, look!”
Jamie met Jenny’s eye; she looked nervous.
“It’s a barbie with a dog, and he looks just like Angus!” Claire opened her mouth to keep talking, but her breath caught in her throat, and her fingertips rested tentatively on the fabric taped to the plastic of the box, right over the dog inside. Her mouth hung open, and she looked up at Jenny, her eyes glistening.
“Where…did you get this…?”
“I made it,” Jenny said sheepishly.
Claire’s mouth fell open wider, and she blinked rapidly. Faith, completely oblivious to her mother’s emotion, thrust both boxes toward her, demanding they be opened. Jamie stepped in to help, having already grabbed the scissors in anticipation of this request. He sat down next to Claire and put his hand on her knee.
“I sent her a picture of Angus,” Jamie explained, poking the fabric on the box. “And Jen hunted down a small enough print, made a pattern, everything.”
Jamie freed the plastic dog first and untaped Jenny’s creation, then slipped it on.
“Look, Faith, see?” Faith took it in her hands eagerly. “Now he’s just like Angus.”
Barbie’s dog now proudly wore a rainbow, puzzle piece-patterned vest that read, in tiny, carefully stitched lettering: “Autism Service Dog.”
“See, lass?” Jenny chimed in, kneeling in front of Faith. “This barbie is just like you.”
Jamie’s heart was fit to burst as Faith flapped her hands with glee, and Claire half laughed, half sobbed beside him.
“Jenny…” Claire croaked. “This is…beyond…” She sniffled and swallowed, quickly swiping tears off her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater.
“Every wee lass deserves to see herself in Barbie,” Jenny said it like she was reciting a cheesy toy advertisement on the tellie, but Jamie could see the emotion behind her eyes.
Claire leaned forward and threw her arms around Jenny, and she squeezed right back.
“That means…so much to me. More than I can ever say.”
“You’re very welcome, Claire. So very welcome.”
Jamie felt tears pricking his own eyes, and might have succumbed to them if Faith hadn’t been moaning impatiently about freeing her doll and its horse from their confines.
Jamie’s girls pulled away from one another, each smiling wetly.
“If my son can call ye Auntie, d’ye think it’s alright if I call ye Sister?”
Claire’s smile grew impossibly wider, and she nodded. “I would be absolutely honored.”
And suddenly, for Jamie, every single thing was right in the world.
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captainsimagines · 3 years
Text
To Topple A Giant || Chapter Three
Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.
Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader
Part 3 of 10 ~ Mini-Series
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Warnings: This story contains mature themes and discussions such as extreme canon violence, strong language, emotional angst, mentions of Endgame deaths and recoveries, sexual situations, and emotional/physical abuse. All trigger warnings will be listed before the chapter. This is purely fanfiction. 
Warnings in this chapter: sexual harassment (slight); talk of sexism/misogyny/canon violence; mentions of drug use; mentions of depression
Word Count: 8,900+
~
The Compound, 2023, 3:16pm
     It probably would have been better to grieve as a group, to help each other in understanding what just happened, to lean on each other. But the second you saw Clint fall to his knees without Natasha beside him, soul stone in hand and face miserable, like he saw a wandering ghost in need of help, you started to walk backwards off the platform. 
You stumbled and teetered before finding balance against the railing. No one seemed to notice you, all wrapped in their own suffocating grief, and you abandoned the group to run across the grounds of the compound. It wasn’t until you ended up by the lake that you realized you were crying, tears flowing but face tough and angry, chest heaving as you came to a stop. You just stared at the ground, shaking hands still gloved and teammates still back at the compound and - oh, god Clint, oh god, oh god, oh god. 
Chest still tight and finding it harder to breathe, you shut your eyes and leaned against the nearest tree. Several minutes flew by, the only sounds that of your suit’s fabric stretching and retracting as your breathing grew slower. And the grief that enveloped you almost instantly turned into fury, and it hurt, it hurt, but you were just so damn angry that you found yourself wishing it was you. Natasha didn’t deserve this, and neither you, but you would give anything to just believe for a second that this couldn’t be real.
But you all knew the risks. This was inevitable. And you were so angry. 
Voices startled you from your thoughts and you watched your teammates pace toward the dock, ideas bouncing from one head to another as they strategized ways to reverse this. But Clint quickly shut them up, telling them that no matter what they did, a sacrifice was a sacrifice and that was the end of it. 
“It was supposed to be me.”
And finally someone said it, because it should have been anyone but Natasha, and that thought caused bile to burn your throat and why in the world could you not control your breathing?
You ran from your spot, legs carrying you to the gardens and burning as you increased speed. You collapsed near the lake, shredding your suit until you were left in the comfortable t-shirt and leggings underneath, sounds of the garden ringing in your ears. 
The time of day could be told by the purple and orange streaks painting the sky, evening dew on the plants near your feet and the sound of a cricket’s chirp cutting through the silence. You counted the hours this way, focusing on the colors and sounds of the outside world that for some reason, didn’t feel like your own anymore. Guilt latched onto your core as you found yourself falling into the therapeutic senses of it all, eyes closing and a silent plea of ‘I’m so sorry, Nat’ escaping your lips. The tears you had shed hours ago were now dry, creating a minor strain of your skin, noticeable as you moved your face. 
Legs dangling from the dock and eyes simply watching the sky change shades, you barely heard the soft footsteps behind you. And you smiled, surprised that it took your teammates this long to recognize your absence.
Thor grumbled below his breath as he sat beside you, his feet barely touching the water. You swung your legs together, impossibly empty yet consumed minds working behind such sad eyes. 
“You want to jump in and freeze? It’s autumn, it’s cold, we’ll probably die from hypothermia.”
Your body lunged forward lightly as a tiny laugh left your throat, a small smile twitching on the corner of your lips. “Yeah, I’m down.”
Thor grinned at your equally dark response, reaching over and gripping your hand in his. He rubbed small circles into your knuckles and resumed watching the clouds shift. 
You looked down at your conjoined hands, wondering why he came after you in the first place. Still, you squeezed his hand back and relaxed in the feeling. 
“Doesn’t seem worth it anymore.”
Thor turned his head, “She traded her soul for trillions of others who had no choice.”
You mumbled, “Still isn’t fair.”
Thor scooted closer to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, grinning when you accepted the invitation to lean into him. 
“None of this fair. We have one more fight, Y/N.”
You sighed, ready to complain and run back to the compound to lay under a mountain of blankets, wallowing in self-pity and increasing depression. 
“Look at me,” Thor instructed, gently pulling away from you. “I know what you’re feeling. I too want to sleep and never wake up.”
Your face dropped, sympathy flooding your eyes. You raised a hand to lay your palm on his cheek, wiping away the stray tear he had let slip. “You don’t have to be so strong.”
Thor leaned into the feeling of your warm hand and he gave you a sad smirk. “I know. But it’s all we know how to be.”
Thor could sense your depleting energy, and as much as he wanted to carry you to your bed and wrap a blanket around you, cup of tea ready and some comedy movie on repeat, he had to persuade you. There was one more fight that needed to be fought.  
“Breathe, and think of the first thing that brings you comfort. Lean into that, let it give you strength, and use it.”
You turned to him, prepared to protest, but Thor simply gripped your face in his hands, allowing you to do the same. He rested his forehead against yours. “Think and use it.”
You nodded, still apprehensive to the idea, but you shut your eyes and thought. New and old friends. It could have been anything - Natasha’s final and unknown farewell, Wanda’s loud laugh as she fought Sam (who was on Steve’s shoulders and her on Bucky’s) and tried pushing him into the water, or even Tony’s face as he realized he forgot to put the lid over the blender before turning it on - anything, but you held onto the first flash of joy your mind recalled. 
The sudden image of Steve’s face frightened you. Not because Steve himself was scary, but because the more you thought of him, the more prepared you were for the final battle. You had something to fight for. Someone. You simply saw Steve - Steve who tucked his knees up to his chest when he sketched the trees outside his bedroom window - and how he would put his pencil down and march toward you because ‘don’t you ever knock?’, and push you out of his room as you laughed and apologized at the same time.
“Use it,” Thor repeated. You opened your eyes. 
So you wiped your tears and changed back into your suit, hair now held in a ponytail and new gun on your hip. Your breath hitched as Bruce lifted the gauntlet to put it on, his eyes swimming with fear but also determination, and you found yourself glancing at Steve. He felt eyes on him, and he found yours, and something alerted you of the shift. Perhaps this was his last straw, it was yours too, but this was different. You wanted to go back to Thor and ask him to help you find that memory again, ‘tell me to imagine Steve again, Steve with his soft face and gentle hands, Steve who doesn’t look like he’s just seen a ghost!’. A perfect stranger, and before you could ponder such a drastic change, Bruce began screaming in agony. You stood behind Tony, allowing Bruce’s screams to fuel your energy, because you had one more fight. 
Just one more. 
A Forest in Iowa, 2025, 6:47am
     You awoke with a strangled groan, a crick in the neck that needed to be remedied by a quick snap to the opposite side and a very numb ass. You dreaded having to remove your arms from the warmth the blanket provided, but the quicker you turned the car on you could relax. You leaned over and did so, the tingles along your lower back and bottom begging you to get out of the car. Steve was startled awake from the sudden rumble of the engine, alert within seconds and examining his surroundings. 
You practically crawled out the car and stretched every muscle, even muscles you didn’t know could become inflamed, and started walking around the campsite while rubbing your palms on your sore ass. Steve joined you outside after a few minutes, laughing at the random stretches you were performing. 
“Laugh all you want, Rogers but if I don’t get this knot out my ass then any danger we encounter you’re taking out alone.”
“Do you need help?”
You snapped your body back up, an involuntary loud cackle rising from your throat. “That would be a treat.”
Steve rolled his eyes and began stretching himself, arms bent and raised behind his head as he tugged on his elbows. “I just meant in general. Not specifically your ass.”
You giggled at his innocence, walking back to the car and grabbing the blanket you had regretfully crawled from. You wrapped it around your shoulders and made your way back to Steve, extending your right leg out and dipping your upper body down to continue the stretch. You heard the sudden ‘pop!’ of your hip, surprising both you and Steve. You screamed in slight but joyful surprise, pulling yourself back up to look at Steve. He just stared back, amazement and a little concern in his face. He scrunched his nose and smiled wide. 
“That hurt?”
You shook your head ‘no’ and extended your left leg now, bending down and stretching the same way. Again, ‘pop!’
And Steve had to walk away in complete astonishment, hands covering his ears and a comical expression on his face, because it just sounded so weird. 
You stopped at the first secluded diner you stumbled upon, barely open for the morning and understaffed. There was a lonely waitress behind the counter folding napkins and cleaning the leftover coffee grounds someone forgot to clean before her. She looked about thirty, slightly dark circles under her eyes, but presented a cheerful smile as you and Steve walked through the door. If she was surprised with two Avengers walking into her place of work, she did an excellent job at hiding it. 
“What can I get you two?”
You took a seat on the light blue swivel chair at the counter and flashed the waitress a kind smile as you spoke. Her name tag read ‘Martha’. “Coffee and tea to start with, please.”
She clicked the coffee maker on and went to retrieve a kettle from the back, leaving you and Steve alone. 
“You hungry?” you asked. 
Steve plopped down in the chair beside you, already grabbing the two sugar packets he would put into his tea. “Starved.”
You rolled your eyes, “You were the one who refused the last granola bar.”
“You said you were hungry.”
“Aw, you starved yourself for me?”
Steve huffed in annoyance, playing with his sugar packets and head hung low to avoid recognition from incoming customers. You stared at him longer than usual, studying the way his jaw ticked every so often and how he would sniff at nothing only to pass the time and countless thoughts. You reached over and grabbed a handful of sugar packets, piling them in between you and the super soldier, and began constructing the base of a tower. It seemed to snap Steve out of whatever thought he had, and he quickly became interested. He helped steady the base, careful fingers adding to the height. You two worked in silent cooperation, little giggles filling the empty and quiet diner. 
Martha returned with two mugs and went to grab both the freshly made coffee and tea. She watched as you and Steve constructed your sugar packet tower, a smirk on her face as she poured your drinks. “Anything to eat?”
And it was one of the best meals you had. The sheer amount of grease on those sausages and hash browns warmed your once empty stomach and meshed with the coffee in the most delightful way. You almost wanted to ask for seconds, those scrambled eggs not nearly enough, but the longer you stalled the longer the ride on the freeway was going to be. 
You paid and left a generous tip, finishing the remaining amount of coffee in your mug. Steve had gone to the restroom, your sugar packet tower still standing tall and proud. It didn’t seem like Martha was going to knock it down any time soon. The bell over the front door dinged with a new arrival, the cold air from outside making you clutch your hot mug tighter. 
You glanced over your shoulder out of instinct. The man looked to be in his mid-forties, a trucker no doubt, and had only the slightest hint of an unwashed smell. He took a place at the counter a few seats away from you, throwing his hat down and begging Martha to bring him a coffee of his own. You took a sip from your mug.
“Woah, you’re an Avenger, aren’t you?”
Busted. 
“Nope.”
The man scooted a few seats closer, eyes now wide awake. He pointed at you in an almost accusatory manner, but voice still cheery. “No, seriously - I’ve seen your face in the news and everything!”
You set your coffee down and saw the look of pity Martha was throwing you from across the counter. “You want a picture or something?”
The man laughed now, a nasty smirk on his face. “Or something would be nice.”
Your face scrunched and your shoulders immediately tensed. “You better not be implying-?”
“Woah, hey, no harm here! I just mean, you’re here alone and I’m here alone…”
You looked away from him, taking a big swig from your mug. The burn down your throat was somewhat therapeutic. “I’ll do the picture or else I start screaming.”
“I’d love to hear that.”
Steve rounded the corner when he heard a full-on conversation he was sure just started during his absence. He almost cursed himself for leaving you alone during such an important mission, even if it was to urinate. He could have had you standing outside the men’s restroom just to feel more secure of your well-being. Still, he remained behind the wall and listened to the conversation. If Steve was to interrupt before you could get your own kicks in, then he wouldn’t hear the end of it. 
‘I had him on the ropes!’
‘Excuse me for assisting a teammate!’
‘Get bent!’
Yeah, Steve would let you kick this person’s ass and brag about it instead of yapping at him.  
You groaned, hoping the loud sound would make the man retreat back to his breakfast. “Bet you would.”
But it seemed to encourage him more, and he stepped closer to lean on the counter and bump your shoulder with his. You kept your eyes trained on your abandoned coffee. 
“C’mon, I’m just a lonely trucker trying to make ends meet. I think I deserve some kind of reward.”
You put on your best fake smile, tilting your head towards him. You flashed your teeth, a great distraction for him as you reached into your pocket for your throwing knife. “That picture offer seems to be wearing very, very thin, dude.”
He placed his dirty hand on your shoulder, squeezing as he spoke in a low whisper. “Guess that’s for the best.”
His hand was immediately twisted from your shoulder, the sound of his instant wail frightening poor Martha. You knew what had happened, and as chill as ever, you swiveled the chair around casually. 
The man groaned in discomfort, “Woah, hey! - oh my god.”
Steve’s single hand was crushing his, digits begging for mercy as each second Steve squeezed even harder. He could feel the man’s knuckles start to crack painfully. “Yeah, ‘oh my god’. Touch her again and I’ll total your truck.”
The man shook his head violently, “We were just talking!”
“Nuh-uh,” you chuckled, elbows resting on the counter behind you. 
“C’mon Cap, you gotta believe me!” The man tried to sprinkle some humor on the situation, which only caused Steve to shove him into a booth, hand still gripping his. 
Steve towered over him now as the man had no choice but to fall back into the booth. “That’s just it - I don’t.”
The man looked from Steve’s face, to yours, to his own purpling and bruising hand. “What are you two doing out in the middle of nowhere anyway? Danger nearby?”
You stood from your seat and stood beside Steve, arms crossed and a smirk on your face. “Look, bud - tell anyone you saw us and you’ll regret it.”
And like the idiot he was, even with Steve’s hand cramping down on him, he still countered. “Are you threatening me?”
Steve couldn’t believe this guy. Of course, he could squeeze harder and just yank this guy’s fingers clean off, but he wasn’t that evil. The guy was just a creep and a pervert, which in Steve’s moral compass, called for a few cuts and scrapes and not a permanent disability. 
“Yup, and I tend to have some creative ways of framing people.”
     “C’mon, I know you can hit harder than that!” 
Steve threw a few more punches at the cushion Bucky was holding up, boxing gloves nearly sliding from his fists because of their large size. 
“One more, there we go!”
Bucky lowered the cushion as Steve threw his last punch, racing toward the bench to fetch Steve’s inhaler and hand it to the younger boy. 
“I could have gone longer.”
Bucky smiled at his best friend, “I’m sure you could have but you were about to pop a lung and I love you too much to see you go out that way, pal.”
Steve took a drag of his inhaler at the same time he tried to wrap his arm around Bucky’s neck. But the older boy was quicker and lunged out of the way, taking a celebratory light jog around the ring for such minimal effort on his part. Steve just glared at him, a small smirk forming as Bucky started chanting. 
“Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, defenders of America, the world, we avenge the fallen!”
Steve let Bucky exaggerate, inhaler finally working enough for him to take a big swig of water. “You really think we’ll save the world?”
Bucky held his chest and laughed loudly, “America isn’t going to war anytime soon, pal. Let’s focus on rescuing dames from bullies and perverts first!”
     “Captain, you gonna let her-?”
You snapped your fingers in his face to get his wandering eyes back on you, “I’m speaking to you.” 
Steve couldn’t hide his grin, a slight blush growing on his cheeks due to your authoritative tone. He had heard you speak this way countless times, roughing up some guy on the opposite side whenever they proved difficult. Although you weren’t currently throwing punches, Steve was proud nonetheless. 
You continued, “Tell anyone and I’ll tell the cops you tried selling us drugs.”
The man’s eyes widened comically, “What? I don’t even have-”
You reached into your back pocket and revealed a tiny baggy half-full of white powder. Martha’s tiny giggle reminded the man that he had an audience, a possible witness, but her overall lack of involvement was enough to know he was alone in this. “Come again? You were saying something?”
The man gritted his yellowing teeth, “No fucking way.”
You jiggled the baggy closer to his face, watching in amusement as he whipped his head to the side as if it was poison. “Way. I’ll stash it in your beloved truck where only the dogs can smell it.”
Steve, hands still gripping the man out of instinct, was completely shocked. He watched the baggy in the most peculiar way - analyzing its size, crumpled appearance, even the way the tiny specks of white dust latched onto the moisture inside, resembling salt or sugar. Obviously he knew what product you handled, but he had never seen it up close and personal unless he was in the evidence locker room. Maybe ‘shock’ wasn’t used with negative connotation, because Steve wanted to both laugh at your threat and snatch the baggy from you to ensure no other soul saw you handling it. 
The man looked from both you and Steve, determined expression falling as he ran out of viable options. He sighed in defeat, “Okay.”
You snatched the baggy away from his face and pocketed it. You smiled at him with such brightness, as if you hadn’t just threatened to ruin his life. “Cool, nice meeting you!”
Steve let him go and walked back to his original seat to pick up his coat. He ignored the annoying babbling from across the diner, choosing to grab your belongings too and smiling at Martha as he took his leave. You rushed after him, turning back to wave at Martha. 
“Best coffee ever, Martha!”
You settled into the car and continued your drive fairly easily, a comfortable silence between you two. Steve didn’t know if it was the jitters from the coffee - not like he was really affected by caffeine anyway - or the effects from the uncomfortable situation he should have pulled you from sooner, because next thing he knew his voice was an octave higher and cracking. “So, you just had that shit in your back pocket this whole time?”
You choked on your laugh and covered your mouth, looking up from your phone and at him. You shared the same playful look in your eyes. 
You shrugged, “You never know when you might need it.”
Steve shook his head but kept the same tiny grin, “Do you…?”
The playfulness somewhat subsided, and you shifted uncomfortably in your seat. The seatbelt was digging into your right breast and side of your neck. Steve waited for your response, the question an entirely personal one. He was about to retract it, apologize and focus on the freeway for the remainder of your trip, but you cleared your throat. 
“Once. But I was young, curious, and it burned like hell so I didn’t do it again.”
You were fourteen, still unsure of yourself and the world around you, clinging onto the inner child your environment was beginning to kill. You remember running through the mansion, the ranches, random hotels and random weddings - a dozen other children and teenagers running alongside you, each avoiding interaction with those their guardians had told them to avoid. And you remembered the day you wanted to enter your bedroom to retrieve your little iPod shuffle, the door resisting as you pushed. Your strength ultimately won, revealing a bedroom floor full of all types of guns, grenades, and automatic rifles. You didn’t scare easily, you never had, but that angered and annoyed you greatly. That was your room, your own sacred space to avoid confrontation, and it had been tainted. You had stepped over the guns carefully and reached your bedside table. Attaching your headphones to the device and clicking shuffle, you had almost missed the packages of drugs laying on your white bedsheet. Where you slept.
More out of anger than curiosity, you had carefully poked a hole in one of those taped packages and rubbed it over your teeth and gums like you saw some of your father’s men do. The sensation was weird, more numb than anything, and although you wanted it to taste like the flour you used for baking, it didn’t. So you picked a small portion under your pinky nail and sniffed. It burned, similar to when you burped and the carbonation came back up through your nose, and you wanted to scream. An instant headache, an unknown high, and a very angry Seda appeared around the same moment. 
“Why do you carry it now?” Steve asked. 
You snapped yourself out of the flashback, “My father knows we’re traveling by car. We’ll be arriving in the next day or so. He could call at any time and tell me he needs someone taken out in whatever state we’re currently passing through.”
Steve hummed, face showing discomfort. “Taken out? Do you often plant drugs on innocent people?”
You huffed, “Hardly innocent. Just drug dealers or other smugglers that got on his bad side.” 
You played with the button to roll down the window, watching the moisture from water droplets begin to dry and leave their smudge. You continued, “Quick drop into a glove compartment or someone’s pocket while they’re distracted usually does the trick.”
Steve’s shoulders relaxed, “Guess I can understand that.”
You left the window slightly open, the cold air nipping at your cheeks. The smell of rain was prominent. “I do my research before, you know. I don’t just frame random people.”
Your soft voice suddenly hurt Steve, almost like you were accusing him of thinking of you as evil. Whether you discussed your undercover work with him or not, he would never assume you escaped morals. You were an Avenger after all, and even though no one knew, Tony used to have a huge part in the decision-making process with Fury. And if Tony had seen something in you, then he trusted him. “I know.”
“Thank you, by the way. I may not look it, but he did scare me for a sec.”
Steve sighed, “We’re partners, Y/N. I would never let anything or anyone hurt you.”
You rolled your eyes at his sincerity, smiling toward him but avoiding his gaze. “Still… thanks.”
“No problem. Your playlist this time?”
You passed the next several hours listening to mostly instrumental music, the foggy and dense atmosphere of each state you drove through providing the same calm feeling. It was winter after all, and although California didn’t have quite as much snow as the midwest, it certainly had rain. The drive consisted of small talk about your surroundings, about your friends, about the most random things you could fill into a twelve hour time stamp. You played with the seat warmers, laughing when Steve jumped a foot in the air when his got a little too hot for his liking. And his cursing. When you first met Steve, he didn’t curse all that much unless it was in the middle of a fight or when he was truly angry. But now, especially after these last couple of years, his vocabulary expanded to new inappropriate lengths. You didn’t mind, no, it made the conversations all that more interesting. 
So when Steve grumbled under his breath as he spilled crumbs from his granola bar onto the passenger seat (you had volunteered driving the sixth hour in), and mumbled “jesus fucking christ”, you gave him such a bright smile with equally bright eyes that had Steve scrunching his eyebrows together and he leaned away from you, a blush crawling up his neck. 
‘What?’
‘You took the lord’s name in vain.’
‘Yeah, so what?’
‘Over a granola bar.’
‘... I see your point.’
You stopped about an hour away from the hotel, legs cramping and backs strained but overall happy that no one else on the journey recognized you two. There had been that kid who paused in the aisle of a small gas station, wide eyes staring up at both you and Steve as you reached for a bag of chips. Steve had crouched down to his height, chatting for a few seconds before giving him a small fist bump. You smiled at the kid, bringing your finger up to your mouth to mime a tiny ‘shh’, and followed Steve out the store after paying. 
You spent the next few minutes stretching, the sudden pops of your hips causing Steve to create as much of a fuss he had done before. 
‘Is that normal?’
‘It’s a ball and socket joint, they crack.’
‘So violently?’
‘It actually feels awesome.’
The California air was musty this season, humid and wet. The smell of various weeds and tree bark overpowered anything else, and although there was moisture in the air, the coldness dried your eyes. You found yourself blinking multiple times to accumulate some tears, and you reached into your backpack to reapply some lip gloss. You donned a simple, forest green tracksuit with a knitted sweater over it all, layers and layers to combat the cold breeze. Steve wore a similar knitted sweater, but he seemed less fazed by the cold than you were. 
“So, how much do you trust this person?”
You snapped your head up from your lazy resting and asked Steve to repeat his question. Once heard, you shrugged and answered. “About ninety-five percent.”
Steve chuckled and wrapped his arms over his chest, “Will it ever be a hundred? C’mon.”
You grinned back and took a deep breath, chilly air slightly burning your sinuses. “They took a bullet for me once. And they didn’t have to.”
You were meeting your main contact of the mission. Maribel, a childhood friend, a friend who ultimately took a bullet for you to keep your undercover identity a secret. You could have been compromised, forced to stand trial in front of your father and his men, but she took the fall. After going off the grid and living in Madripoor for about six years, she had contacted you after the snap. Her relief, and her eagerness for revenge, all were to your benefit. So you fed her any information you could, both vowing to fuck with your father in any means. And since you were the only person on the inside with ties to the Avengers, having Maribel be an insider with no ties ultimately helped prepare your case. Two sides, two people with shared experiences, all truth. And you were going to do everything in your power to clear her name and get her a good deal. 
“So, why isn’t it a hundred?”
“I haven’t trusted anyone a full one-hundred percent since SHIELD was compromised.”
Steve’s voice dropped a little, but you could still make out his teasing tone. “Do you trust me?”
“It wavers.”
“Wait-”
You interrupted and pointed toward the trail hidden by the trees, “There she is.”   
Maribel had changed immensely since you last saw her. Her natural ginger hair was now dyed a dark brown, her freckles seeming to have multiplied and draped themselves from her cheeks and down her neck, over her shoulders, etc. She wore all black, leather jacket and leather boots, loose strands of hair blocking the view of shoulder buttons and shoulder pockets. She looked younger, more refreshed in her natural glow, healthy even. You found yourself breathing a sigh of relief, chest tightening with genuine love as she flashed you a wide smile. You gave her a tight hug, patting her back and welcoming her back to the states. She smelled of the bushes she had to track through to get here. 
She released you from her tight grip and looked over at Steve, giving him an almost teasing look. “Heard you were invited. Nice to meet you Captain.”
Steve shook her hand, “Pleasure’s all mine.”
She chuckled and winked at him, “Y/N inform you about me? How do I sound? Look?”
Steve seemed to be affected the same way you had, an involuntarily reddening of his cheeks giving him away. “Like a possible ally.”
Maribel scoffed playfully, “I’ll take what I can get.”
“Status?” you asked.
Maribel handed you the file she carried, “Hotel is secure. Neighboring cities have no alerts about your arrival or of the upcoming celebration. Everything’s pretty quiet.”
You smirked, looking over to Steve in recognition of what that meant. “Of course it is. He wouldn’t dare kill any U.S citizens on American soil.”
“Heard he got sloppy,” Maribel sang, rocking back and forth on her heels. 
“Let’s hope it’s to our benefit. You meet up with the agent in charge I told you about?”
Maribel nodded, “Torres is set up a few miles from the venue. He’s been running surveillance for about three days already.”
“If you can’t get into contact with me, Torres is your second. Got it? He reports back to Sam.”
Maribel agreed, “Got it. So, what’s the plan for the rest of the week?”
“Steve and I will draft a report tomorrow morning and send you the encrypted file.”
“Can’t wait. It’s nice to see you again, Y/N,” she smiled, bringing you back into a tight hug. Steve simply stood to the side, listening around for any disturbances. 
“Likewise,” you spoke, sad to watch her walk away and back toward the hidden path. Her feet crunched on some fallen leaves purposefully. You suddenly remembered the bit of information that could be useful if Maribel were to encounter an old foe.
You called out to her, “Oh, and if anybody asks - Steve is my boyfriend and you’ve known about it for three years now!”
Steve hid his face behind his hand, looking down to his feet to avoid Maribel’s teasing and humorous expression. “Lucky you!”
     The hotel was nicer than you expected, the pictures on google doing little to showcase just how grand it really was. With some of your savings and a little money under the table from Fury, you were able to book a single bedroom with two beds for five nights. Obviously, the wedding night wasn’t counted as the two of you were going to have to haul ass immediately, but five nights in this grand arena seemed vacation enough.
From the outside, it seemed like any chain hotel, but the inside provided a more Gothic feel. It compared to a Vegas type, but also your typical breakfast inn. It was an odd combination, but you figured they had that liberty since it was a really quiet part of the city and didn’t see many regular customers.
You lugged your suitcases through the elevator doors and pressed the button for the seventh floor, looking around for the security cameras in the corner. You spotted the red light blinking and immediately smiled and waved. 
“Steve, say hi to Bucky.”
Steve looked at the camera and raised an eyebrow, giving a small wave. “You know regular security can see us, too?”
“Can’t hear us, though. Neither can Bucky.”
“So, if I were to call him a thousand bad words right now, he wouldn’t know?”
You squinted at Steve as the elevator dinged, “He can still read our lips.”
“That adds to the fun!”
The room was big enough to set up an extra pull-out table and computer in the corner, the only separate part being the bathroom to the side of the entrance door. The beds were both queen sized, multiple throw pillows scattered on top and two bedside tables in the middle. 
You rushed inside and threw your suitcase carelessly at the foot of the bed closest to the door, and ran to leap in the air and land face first on the cushy mattress. “Heaven!”
Steve picked up your suitcase and set it against the wall, “Glad to see you’re already making yourself at home.”
You rolled over and pressed some pillows to your chest, “You ever plopped yourself down onto a hotel bed? Do it!”
Steve tilted his head slightly, reluctant to the idea. “What if I break it?”
You burst out laughing, “Oh my god, I didn’t even think of that.”
Steve sighed, shoulders sagging as he gave in. “Promise you won’t laugh if I break it?”
“Do you know me?”
Steve rolled his eyes and braced himself against the wall, pushing himself off and leaping into the air only lightly, crashing onto the bed the same way you did. The bed creaked and made a horrible sound. But it held, the wood proving stronger than you thought. 
“Okay, I see the pleasure in that,” Steve laughed, face still smushed inside the mountain of pillows. You lay in your own beds for about an hour, naps wholeheartedly enforced. 
A quick knock on your hotel door snapped you from your short slumber. You rolled over with a groan, looking over your shoulder at a still snoring Steve. His age was catching up to him alright, because he totally should have woken up from that. You opened the door and greeted Torres, allowing him to step inside. He lugged in a hotel cart with a heavy drape over it, careful in not hitting the doorway. 
“Agent Y/L/N, it’s so great to see you again!”
Now Steve was awake.
“You too! I thought our last rendezvous was cut too short,” you teased, sticking your bottom lip out and giving him puppy-dog eyes. Torres blushed under your gaze but shook his head at your flirting. 
“Well, here we go again! Got everything you need right here.”
He revealed the desktop computer and multiple other monitors, radios, a printer, and earpieces. 
“Looks like Christmas morning,” you joked, helping Torres set up. 
“Sorry for waking you, Captain. Sam said I had to deliver all this before nighttime.”
Steve waved his apology off, “Don’t worry about it. Thanks for doing this.”
“Anything.”
You went over the itinerary for the rest of the week and once Torres announced his leave, you handed him the extra key card you had asked for. 
“If you need anything, or we don’t radio in at the times we set up, you use it. Okay?”
Torres gave you a sincere smile, tucking the key card into his coat pocket. “You can count on me.”
Once Torres left the room, Steve spoke. “Watch him barge in when one of us is showering.”
“Let’s hope we don’t scar the poor kid.”
It took about two hours to set up all the tech and connect it all back to the compound. You video chatted with Bucky and Scott and discussed the itinerary tomorrow. You double-checked mic connections, triple-checked police reports filed within the last few hours, and reviewed spy cam footage Torres had taken of the ranch. It was basically homework. 
“We have to set up our backstories, our so-called relationship, you have to know everything.”
Steve hummed, tapping his pen on the table. “Where do we start?”
“They might ask why you help me in the first place.”
“Fuck America, that’s why.”
You stuttered, voice timid and eyebrows high. “O-oh?”
Steve laughed at your reaction. He leaned in with confidence, “I mean, your father grew up close to a similar time I did. He’s old fashioned, no?”
“Kind of. He’s old so he hates the new clothing styles, women’s rights, the works,” you shrugged. 
“Wow, he sounds worse the more you speak about him.” You rolled your eyes at Steve and his sarcastic tone. “So I can say America just changed way too much since I came out of the ice.”
You nodded and rapidly wrote the basics of the backstory into your notepad. “Okay. But I hope you know you’re gonna have to play into that conservative part, especially with him and Seda.”
“What do you mean?”
You smirked at him and cocked an eyebrow, “You gotta be drowning in toxic masculinity.”
“Fuck, really?”
You almost wanted to lean over and slap his shoulder. It was then that you realized how disconnected Steve really was to this whole situation, never once meeting your father or his minions. He didn’t know the shit that went down when he was in hiding, only the basics, and scaring him now didn’t seem like a great idea. 
“Really. You’re playing the role of my boyfriend in a male-dominated drug war. They think you’re in charge, which is technically correct to assume. Your rank is higher, your status is higher, so your personality needs to match that or else you won’t gain their trust.”
Steve shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, “I don’t know the first thing about disrespecting women.”
You snorted, “I’m gonna be honest and say that was the most adorable shit I’ve ever heard.”
“Stop it.”
You spoke with your hands, fingers dancing as a way to sprinkle some sensitivity on the issue. “Order me around. Tell me when it’s time to leave, be possessive if anyone wants to get my attention, interrupt me.”
“Y/N, I don’t think I can do that.”
“You technically already do it.”
Steve blinked, “Excuse me?”
You lowered your voice to explain, “You’re my Captain. You give me orders on the field. You shut me up when I’m too loud or turning something serious into a joke.”
He shifted again, “But I don’t do it to dominate you.”
“I know you don’t. Trust me.”
“So, I gotta become an asshole?” 
You nodded, “Yes. But you need to know your limits.” You handed Steve multiple files for him to examine. 
“Ramirez is one of the rare ones that loves his family, especially his wife and daughters. You can’t be an ass in front of him.”
Steve grinned as he read, surprised with the restraint Ramirez and his men were able to achieve. “Guess that’s a little relief for me.”
“And White is too much into his own product all day to give a shit.”
Steve paused before he spoke, licking his lips in hesitation. “What happens if your father goes overboard?”
    “Shit,” you mumbled, tumbling into the compound and practically crawling to the first floor. You didn’t know who was home or who was visiting. Wanda, Steve, Natasha, Vision, and Sam were on the run for more than a year now - Scott and Clint were on house arrest (which you were also, technically) - so you truly did not know if your cries for help would be heard. You had practically begged to accompany Wanda or be with Bucky back in Wakanda, but because of your undercover status (and the fact that your father still did not know you aided Captain America in hiding an assumed fugitive), you weren’t allowed to leave the compound without permission. The memory of the separation was almost as painful as the gunshot wound in your abdomen. 
You clutched the side of your stomach and crawled through the doors. 
“Arrrgh - is someone home?”
And with a stroke of luck, Rhodey rounded the corner just in time to hear your plea. 
“Oh my god,” he mumbled, dashing across the room to help you sit up. “What happened?”
“They were getting too suspicious,” you said, wincing when Rhodey pressed a nearby blanket on your wound. “I couldn’t give them Steve’s location.”
“Are you talking about your father and his partner?”
You nodded quickly, helping Rhodey apply pressure. 
“F.R.I.D.A.Y, alert the medics. First floor,” Rhodey stammered, the sight of your blood making him a little queasy in the morning. 
“I’m gonna kill him if he got one of my kidneys - I was saving that, you know?”
Rhodey involuntarily laughed, quickly covering his mouth. You brushed it off and let him know that if you were still able to joke, he was able to laugh.
“Take your mind off the pain, what happened?”
You sighed, shutting your eyes in distress. “You know that the main players in this game are me and Steve. My father decided that it was time to meet the star-spangled man, time to meet who is distributing his product behind the back of the U.S government.”
Rhodey rotated the blanket to dab with a clean side. You continued speaking. 
“I told him Steve wasn’t active at the moment - not a lie, by the way. But the more I told him that I had no way of being in touch with the dude, the angrier he got. Seda fired a warning shot into my gut, I guess.”
“Shit… I can’t authorize any more solo trips without back-up, Y/N. This has gone too far,” Rhodey sighed, adrenaline lowering once he saw a few medics burst through the door. 
Hours seemed to pass before you awoke. The doctors found no serious damage, your stitches were already healing with the help of Tony’s new tech, and you were up and walking within hours. A slight pinch in your gut bothered you, but other than that you pulled yourself out of bed to go search for Rhodey. You heard voices talking over one another, all angry and authoritative. You tip-toed into the room just in time to see Rhodey end a call and turn back to the group of people he was talking to in person. Your breath hitched when you saw him, face still rugged and more tired than you remembered, but still gorgeous. 
“Steve?” you quietly muttered, all eyes darting toward you. “Wanda?”
You tried to run over to them but were caught limping. Still, Wanda rushed over and enveloped you in a tight hug, noticing the way you twisted your hip outward to avoid full contact.
“Y/N, you shouldn’t be out of bed,” Rhodey said as he came over to hold you steady. 
“What happened to you?” Steve asked, his hand now resting on your blushing cheek. You studied his blue eyes carefully, scared that this reunion was going to last for only a few more seconds, his warm hand making your stomach knot. He had a full beard now, hair longer than you remember, and he filled in his suit more. You were so unbelievably happy to see him after everything that went down. 
You patted his chest with a soft chuckle, “Finally ripped that star off, huh?”
Steve’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, but you could see a glint of tenderness. 
He placed his hand over yours, “Who’s ass do I have to kick?”
You waved your hand in the air. “Family drama.”
Rhodey didn’t let that explanation fly, though. He informed the rest of the team of what happened to you, Steve’s anger building. 
But you quickly silenced them, “I’m alright. I’ll deal with it later. What threat do we currently face?”
After their brief update, you were ready to go back to bed. 
“So, you’re telling me that we gotta fight this big purple dude because he wants Vision’s stone? Sure, why not?”
     “I really hope he doesn’t go overboard.”
Steve repeated the question, however. “What do we do?”
You sighed, picking at the potato chips to your side. “If you’re feeling uncomfortable, or I am, we’ll just squeeze each other’s hands.”
“Like a safe word?”
Your smile grew slowly as you registered his innocent words. “Yes, Steve, like a safe word.”
You popped a chip into your mouth and leaned back into your chair,  “Wow, you’re on a roll with that adorableness.”
Steve rolled his eyes and stole a chip from your bag, “Shut up.”
You pointed at him and smiled wider, “See? Toxic bitch.”
It took a moment for Steve to register his previous words, “Okay, okay. I get it. I’m sorry.”
“Forgiven.” 
You dusted off your fingers and handed him even more files, “Alright, so we know that to make it in this drug game, you gotta have connections everywhere.”
“Understandable. What are we looking for tomorrow?”
“Drug lords love to conduct business in the middle of huge events. Big distractions mean more leeway.”
“But tomorrow?”
“We’re going to cut them off. Swipe their ID’s.” 
You elaborated, “To survive in this business, you have to have ID’s to get anywhere and everywhere. We’re looking for fake press ID’s, fake police ID’s, even fucking farming and landowning ID’s or… licenses, really. Those two give us the proof of ownership for certain lands.”
“Just swipe them?” he asked, eyebrows raised.
“My father keeps them all in a little safe inside the wall. It’s located in the study. Just his and Seda’s.”
“And they won’t notice they’re missing?”
“Word is that they’re not planning a move until the day of the wedding. Meaning, they’ll be cut off when they open that safe. We have to keep the product from moving or else our agents won’t find the tangible evidence when we give them the green light.”
Steve wrote in his notepad. “So, we’ll focus on the hacking-?”
“During the rehearsal dinner.”
“Gotcha.”
You grabbed the bag of chips and ate a few, the silence still comfortable. You spoke, stealing Steve's attention from the files. “This is gonna work, Steve.”
Steve thinly smiled and reached over to steal the bag from your hands. “As long as we don’t get caught.”
      The steam from the bathroom practically whipped Steve across the face, the smell of lotions and perfume overpowering the natural odor of the hotel air conditioner. He groaned as he searched his suitcase for his pajamas. 
“You couldn’t have left me some hot water?”
You scoffed, towel rinsing your wet hair. “It’s a hotel charging two hundred a night. If you don’t have hot water, then we’ll go down there and ‘Karen’ it up.”
“Funny,” Steve mumbled, pushing past you and locking the bathroom door. You stood, arms slightly raised in confusion, expression mimicking those in comedy shows. If there was any hidden camera, your eyes scanned for it. 
“Uh, what’d I do?” you mumbled to no one in particular. But you brushed off Steve’s sudden change in attitude and sat for the next thirty minutes hand drying your hair in sections and watching television. You were invested in an episode of Kitchen Nightmares that you barely heard your phone ding. You unlocked your phone, laughing under your breath at the group chat messages. 
Bucky: Kill him yet?
Peter: bet she will by wednesday.
Wanda: Ridiculous, all of you
Y/N: Twenty bucks says he kills me.
Bucky: hey are you even allowed to bet on this?
Wanda: Seems fair since you’re so sure she’ll crack
Peter: She’s more sneaky
Y/N: He mad right now
Bucky: He’s always grumpy before his bedtime
Y/N: dude it’s eight
Peter: lmfao
     The same fog of heat exited the bathroom as Steve opened the door and you murmured a quick ‘I told you so’ for him to hear. He ignored you, rubbing his eyes as he plugged his phone to his charger and crawled under his blankets. He sat up, though and reached over to grab his sketchbook, knees coming up to substitute as a flat surface. You snuggled into your blankets after turning the television volume lower and placing the remote closer to Steve’s bedside table. You brought the blanket up to your chin and hummed peacefully.      
The sounds of Steve’s pencil prompted you to open one eye. His tongue was between his incisors and his eyes were squinted slightly, hair only a little wet from his shower and the tip of his nose pink.             
“Drawing always seems to ease your mind, huh?”     
Steve didn’t look up from his drawing, “It’s relaxing. I have control over it, so…”     
You thought his explanation was weird, but you understood what he meant. “I wish I could draw. It seems fun.”     
Steve paused his movements and glanced over at you, “Do you want to learn?”    
You stretched your legs and moaned loudly, “What? You want to teach me how to draw an eye tonight? I’m warning you.”   
Steve shook his head, “Right, I don’t think I have that much patience.”   
You snorted, cracking your knuckles absentmindedly as you searched for a more comfortable spot. “Mm, maybe some other time?”     
“I know you sing, though.”     
You flopped back over to face Steve, elbow now propped up to hold your weight. “How in the world do you know that?”    
“You sing sometimes, in your room. It was quiet, but you would sing along to some song on your earphones.”     
You scrunched your nose and chuckled, “And you were just outside listening?”    
Steve paused his movements again, “What? It was pretty.”    
You sank back down into your pillows and drew the blankets higher. “I feel like you saw me naked.”     
Steve scoffed, “Totally not the same thing.”     
You teased Steve further, “I’m exposed.”     
A throw pillow hit your side out of nowhere. “Stop it, I was being serious!”    
You grabbed the pillow and threw it back at him, “I haven’t sang in a long time. I hum mostly.”     
Steve caught the pillow, and resumed his sketching. “Well, you should definitely sing more.”   
“Thank you, my number one fan. I’ll take that into consideration.” You sighed and closed your eyes again. 
“Why did you stop?”
You winced but quickly covered it by taking in a deep breath, eyes still closed. 
      “You’re still fuming about it. You’re still fuming about your image being ruined. Good ol’ Captain America as a secret, undercover drug dealer!”
Steve finally showed proof of cracking, hands gripping his hair harshly. “Y/N, I said don’t start! I’m finished!”
But you persisted, now screaming and countless, frustrated tears tainting your red cheeks. “You can’t fucking stand me because I tarnished that fucking star on your chest! I made you look bad to a bunch of fucking criminals!”
     “Guess I just didn’t feel like it anymore.”
Steve didn’t want to ignore that, he wanted to dig deeper, but even with much persistence pinching the tip of his tongue, he remained silent and accepted your answer. He glanced your way a few times throughout the next couple minutes, finding your chest fall into a steady rhythm as you drifted off. He turned a page in his sketchbook, quickly brushing the surface clean of any dust before starting the outline of your sleeping form. 
~
TAGLIST: @dumb-ass-writer @justab-eautifulmess @supraveng @mycosmicparadise​
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i hc wilbur made tommy president because he planned to go and press the button while tommy spoke and kill him along with himself
wilbur wanted end all his unfinished symphonies and as the person who raised tommy- he raised him like he raised l'manberg. he doesnt care for fundy- not since he denounced him- so he wanted to end him :)
i need a fic where tommy is the one who goes to stop wilbur and wilbur fucking stabs him before pressing the button saying "it was never meant to be" tommy loses both first and last lives to that phrase
tommys last words are it was always meant to be fucking wilbur survives the explosion and has no one to kill him and now he has to live with the consqunces tommy becomes toast- short for ghost tommy i refuse to write so many letters each time- and immeditly looks for his older brothers and he finds wilbur first :) wilbur is exiled for his crimes and also out of fear- they tried to rehabilate him! they really did but then he freaked out over seeing toast... in a bad way.... and he and toast burned georges house on toast suggest (maybe we should burn something! that always helps me calm down!) this is after wilbur is trusted enough to be not... in a prison... after phil convinced them he needs help and toast tries his best ok- (WHO LEFT WILBUR WITH TOAST!) (I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I WAS ONLY LEAVING FOR FIVE MINUTES! AND RANBOO WAS THERE TOO!) and toast tries to go with but everyone is like "yeah no" and toast is like "whhhhyyy i just wanna stay with wilby!" and everytime anyone tries to tell tommy about the wrongs that have happened to him he screams and clutches his head in pain and everytime he comes back he doesnt remember the convo toast,,, is the most BABY toast calls everyone cutesy nicknames unironcially he calls eret rere toast, chriping happily: TECHIE!!!! tubbo: TOMMY STAY AWAY FROM HIM! toast, in a very lost and confused voice: why? techno, freaking out: tommy? toast: hi!!!!!!! im toast!!!!!! :D techno: lowkey ab to cry toast: NOOOOOOOO DUN CRI! toast: there there techie... i know what will help! tubbo, sighing: arson? toast: ARSON! phil comes just in time to find tommys dead body and l'manberg gone hes not around for the withers neither hes there just to see the crater and wilbur in chains with blood on his hands trying to off himself phil will forever blame himself for not making it in time :> dream: taking wilbur away in boat toast, floating behind the boat: o^o dream do you have any games on your phone .///^///. looks at exileinnit hmmm spins roulette wheel who should i hurt... i picked d all of the above they dont let toast go with him but because he is baby and you can't tell him what to do tubbo: sighs finally now that the exiles done toast can you- tubbo: looks up tubbo: GOADDAMN IT
toast is promptly kidnapped back to l'manberg the next day toast keeps going back tho and no one understands why- he literally killed him! why does he keep wanting to go back! (toasts unfinished buisness keeping him tied was helping wilbur and l'manberg- he loved wilbur even at his worst)
toast vibes around everyone but he stays with wilbur- where ever wilbur goes is where he builds his home
its shitty but its an 'ome Toast, teary eyed: Dad? Why does everyone hate Wilby? Why can't I be with him... Phil, with no idea what to do: niki bakes cakes with niki whenever hes in l'manberg he keeps accidently setting her bakery on fire but hes sMOL AND GIGGLES A LOT AND HE HAS FLOUR ON HE GODDAMN SELF toast is a part of mexican l'manberg i dont make the rules mexican dream: AYYYYYYYYY HOMIE toast, giggling: 'OMIE!!!!!
Toast is wholesome while everyone is literally willing to murder Wilbur while also trying to stop him from khs toast is just a very happy lovely child and cries whenever anyone is mean to 'his big brother wilby!' and so they all constantly glare daggers over toasts shoulder wherenever he cant see em meanwhile Phil is just dying inside because Tommy is a ghost by Wilbur's hands and Wilbur keeps trying to commit suicide and oh god what is he supposed to do- he simply avoids this struggle by avoiding them toast, waddling up to philza: papa do you have any games on your phone? all im saying is that tommy called phil papa before changing to dad or fathercraft phil,in the tired parent voice: tommy please sit down- just for five minutes- at least for 5 minutes toast: sits down and then proceeds to struggle to continue to sit but he must because dad told him to toast is just ADHD incarnate wilbur, trying to end himself: im gonna escape my consequences toast: HI!!!!! :D wilbur: FUCK ITS MY CONSEQUENCES toast,,,, is so baby Wilbur is just not allowed to have anything remotely sharp i like how theres so much angst and im just hyper focusing on ba yby dream uses toast the same way he uses ghostbur! :D toast doesnt realize of course even after wilbur tells him dream is bad but he keeps forgetting!!! Everyone: da baby Dream: how can I profit from this oh dream is manipulating wilbur btw wilbur: suffering toast: i made you a card toast trusts eret wholeheartedly and this hurts eret because she knows if toast remembered he probably wouldnt- they wanted redemption but not like this- not because of death Toast: you look cool Toast: you are friend now Eret: sobs I don't deserve this Toast: what did I do wrong Toast: how can I help friend!!!!! Eret: sobbing more toast looks at everyone says "ah! friend shaped!" if ur wondering wheres the angst toast is the angst- toast is just tommy without any bad memories and hes so different they thought he was happy before they thought he was fine tommy was hurt too but since he internalized it no one cared toast sees wilbur being sad and goes! i know what will help! n-not arson tho people dont like arson when you do it.... BUT ITS OKAY! I BROUGHT A FRIEND! shows friend, the sheep and wilbur just fucking sobs Toast is wholesome chaotic in a perfect mix- toast is tommy but without the 'asshole on purpose as a self defense mechanism" someone mentioned something about Tommy masking insecurities once Toast doesn't remember. and he's fine with that he doesn't have any insecurities toast hurts because in retrospect toast, meeting bad: WOAAAAAAH! YOU LOOK SO FUCKING COOL! bad: LANGUAGE! toast, cringing back, looking at the ground: ..sorry :( bad: ...you can swear toast: :D bad: once toast hasnt sworn since "hes saving it for special occasions" sometimes he accidently swears and immedtly gasps and looks at bad and bad just sighs and is like "its okay it was an accident" bad never would have thought itd take letting tommy swear for him to stop huh... its almost like... hes a child.... and the negetive reienforcement.... was doing more harm then good.... toast: exists in an amount of happiness no one has ever seen him in before everyone: pain how much pain was tommy in before? they thought tommy was happy- was... was he not happy? he's so unabashedly joyful and energetic looking back they can see how forced every laugh felt, every smile- He's not afraid to just talk to people, make new friends he became so much more cautious after Eret, had it really effected him that badly? He's open. He never lies about how he's feeling, never brushes anything away how much was Tommy hiding, how much pain, how much fear- It's chilling. bone chilling. There's no way to fix what's been lost. No way to apologize to who Tommy used to be, to try and make it better. None of them every bothered to see him as anything more than a nuisance, an annoying child or cannon fodder and they'll regret it for the rest of their lives everyone: having a mental crisis toast: GUYYYYSS!! I MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!!!
"Wilby?" Wilbur heard Tommys voice say in an innocent tone.
Was he hearing things? Tommy's dead. He killed him himself.
"Wilby why are you in prison?" The image of his little brother asked, "Did you commit arson without me?" it asked in a pout.
"TOMMY!" Tubbo yelled running into the cell where Wilbur was kept, going through the bars with ease, "Tommy get away from him!"
"But 'ubbo!!!! Wilby is 'ere!!!!" Tommy (?) said with a smile Wilbur hadn't seen since Tommy was a child.
"Tommy, I understand you don't remember anything right now but you need to come back over here!" Tubbo demanded and Tommy flinched
Wilbur was struck with the sudden realization that this isn't just his mind- no no it can't be- but Tubbo acknowledged him he has to- Wilbur reached his locked hands towards Tommy only for him to pass through him. What? No no it was just his imagination that makes sense.
"Oh sorry Wil! I'm kinda dead! I don't remember how i died... but i think im a ghostie!" Tommy said plainly, floating off the floor. Wilbur looked at him in confusion. Whats happening?
the first time toast sees the crater toast srceams in intense amount of pain- its so loud you can hear it all over the smp- and just dissapears for a few days before reappearing with no memories of what happened toast saying things tommy thought but never said- he calls eret "big brother" and eret fucking d i e s toast cals all the l'manbergians older siblings He's far too honest for anyone to handle tommy was always honest too but he learned from experince that honesty only lead to hurt Tommy was like an enderchest, you could never see beyond the exterior, everything inside was exclusive to him and him alone Toast is like when someone dies and all their fuckin items explode onto the ground. you just see everything and most of it was  pain and everyone feels bad because they thought he was the only one uneffected that nothing had ever put a damper on his happiness and energetic smile- at what point had that smile became fake? also for angst reasons the last memory toast has is before the elections toast has uwu boy vibes but more chaotic toast goes to dream smp from logstedshire purely for sam nook toast starts making his hotel since he sees nobody has a home (including dream LMAO) (and he wants to make a safe place since everyone keeps saying something about war) and wants to make one and asks sam for help since apparently hes good at building and sam lets him pay after he finishs the hotel and sam nook is there since day one because i dont think i could handle a world without sam nook toast: biting everyone tubbo: wHY DO YOU DO THAT?????? toast: once techie bit all the cupcakes and then said it was his cuz he bit it so im biting everyone to show their mine!!!!! tubbo: i- tubbo: i am both flattered and disgusted everyone, remembering how tommy used to bite everyone upon meeting and then everyone would get mad at him and yell at him until he stopped biting people on meeting: sadly whips and nae naes hes a BABY toast deserves the fucking world also i havent talked ab it but there is wilbur and fundy angst here fundy confronts wilbur also not that fundy is angry about not not not getting murdered by his father but also why does he consider tommy his unfinished sympohny and not him? he raised fundy too- maybe he just only ever loved tommy (based off his insecurity of how close wilbur and tommy are based off wilbur raising tommy and wilbur only being there for fundy by the time he was older and also using hybrid age go nyoom for this dream manipulates toast during wilburs exile along with wilbur and toast realizes both of them were being used by him and fucking screams lourder than he ever has before and dissapears for a week and then shows up at technos house (he got lost and he didnt know why he was at logsted shire- he doesnt remember the place) on the day of the excution and tries to help technoblade but keeps forgetting that everyone is trying to kill techno the butcher army is hesitant when "hey why are you all attacking big brother Techy-" "HE SPAWNED WITHERS IN L'MANBERG!" "he did?" toast asked tilting his head in confusion "YES! HE DID! AFTER YOU DIED! NOW WHERE IS HE TOAST! WE NEED TO CAPTURE HIM!" whenever tubbo talks ab how theyre planning on excuting techno or how there was no trial toast has flashbacks to tubbos excution but hes never able to hold on to the memories just leaving him feeling bad toast sees anything traumatic and just makes the blue screen noise toast has to reboot every time anything truamatic happens and when he does he doesnt remember what happens after
toast hurts on a "THE FUCKING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS" level just.. everyone trying to make up for not noticing tommys hurt and trying to be good to toast when its already too late... far too late glatt is also here because whenever ytoast dissapears after something trauamtic he bounces back to the land of the dead for the bit and sometimes he drags glatt out to the land of the living with him only works bc toast has unfinished buisness so he can freely go between and just stays in the land of the lving until he can finish his unfiinshed buisness ghostbur and toast wouldve been good friends if they ever met anyone yells at toast and he immeditly starts sobbing
basically when everything is calm and peaceful and everyone is happy together after dream is in prison and toast is like "oh... this is what ive always wanted"
"toast?" tubbo asked, confused toast smiled softly, "i think its time for me to go" "what?" wilbur asked his pitch unusually high due to the fear lacing his voice "i think... i think this was my unfinished buisness... this is the last thing i wanted when i was alive, the reason i stayed... i think its finally my time to go now" toast said smiling tearfully "no! you vcan't go! we just got you back!"
basically when everything is finally ok, when things finally calm down toast fades back to the void/afterlife thing
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winterscaptain · 4 years
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faith.
Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader
a/n: we start to heal, kids! if there’s interest, i’ll write up the outtakes (wink wink) from this and post it sometime soon. your feedback keeps me going - please tell me what you think! also, if you haven’t already check out the inspo blog for ajf! (here’s the nsfw one, too - but it's definitely 18+ only!)
reality check (part one) | unimaginable (part two)
words: 3.5k warnings: implied sex, language, miscarriage/pregnancy mention
summary: healing is bittersweet.
masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!
“Everything looks fine down here. Since it’s been about four days, your preliminary recovery is finished. The key now is to let your body rest and reset.” Brienne removes her gloves and tosses them in the trash. “You can try again in six weeks, if you want, but no penetrative sex for two full weeks.” She washes her hands and points at you, then Aaron, with wet hands. “I mean it.” 
You share a look with Aaron while Brienne turns around for paper towels. His lips quirk into a wry, almost sheepish, smile.
Turning back to her, you ask, “Is there anything I should look out for or do differently or anything?”
Please tell me there’s something I can control. 
She shakes her head. “You’re doing everything perfectly. Keep an eye out for any heavy bleeding or anything that doesn't feel quite right in the next couple of weeks.” A warm hand lands on your shoulder and another reaches across you for Aaron, who stands and meets her in the middle, capturing her fingers in his palm. “I have faith in you both. I know this one was a little unexpected on all fronts, but if you want to do this for real, I will make sure I’m doing everything in my power to give you all the support and resources I can.” 
Aaron’s brown eyes are soft and grateful under his knit brow. “Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate it.” 
She snorts and squeezes his hand before letting him go. “Oh, Aaron. I have a feeling you and I will know each other for a long time - Brienne is just fine.”
+++
Aaron slides into bed beside you and wraps you up in his arms. “Hey.” 
“Hi.” You lace your fingers between his where his hand rests across your abdomen. “How’re you doin’?”
“I should ask you the same thing.” 
You turn in his arms, and he gathers you to his chest while you throw one leg over his hip and wiggle the other between his thighs. You just want to be as close as possible to soothe the ache in your chest - it’s working. “I’m okay. My bits have stopped screaming at me, so that’s an improvement.” For now, you ignore the fact that he’s avoided your question. Sometimes it's easier to let Aaron think he’s won - for a while, at least. 
“Indeed, it is,” he says through a laugh. “I more so meant the other thing.” 
“What, like my emotional state?”
He shrugs around you. “Yeah, I guess.” 
“I feel like there should be...something to look forward to. There’s still a part of me that’s really excited, but there’s nothing to be excited about.” You shake your head, burrowing further into his chest. “It’s hard to explain.” 
His hand rubs up and down your spine, firm and slow. “Makes perfect sense. I think I’m right there with you.” 
It’s quiet for a moment. 
“I’m so sorry, Aaron.” 
You can feel him shake his head and he scoots impossibly closer to you. There can’t be a single inch of skin he isn't touching, or at least that’s what it feels like. “There’s nothing you need to apologize for. Nothing to be sorry for. Sometimes, things just happen.” 
Your eyes close, exhausted, and you push back the thoughts that have been swirling around in your head for the last three days. 
Yeah, sometimes things just happen. Getting stabbed nine times in your home by a career serial killer? Just happens. Your wife getting murdered by that same serial killer, perhaps? Yeah, that just happens. Or maybe your best friend ‘dying’ and then coming back to life? Sure. 
Maybe a couple massive losses in a couple horrible years just aren’t enough. 
What’s next? 
I’ll take ‘Losing a Kid for 1600, Alex.’
“Hey.” He taps the middle of your back with his hand to get your attention. “I can hear you thinking.” 
You grumble, “Sorry,” and turn over, your back pressed firmly to his chest. 
“We’re okay, sweetheart. We’re fine. Jack is healthy, you’re healthy, I’m healthy. We’re getting married.” You snort, and he laughs. “Alright. We’re getting married...eventually.” That gets a giggle out of you, and he continues. “We’re looking for a house we can actually afford because of our fulfilling and important jobs. We have one fantastic son already.” He kisses your shoulder. “We’re in good shape.”
Well, when he puts it that way…
He pulls you close, nuzzling into your neck and running fingers up your ticklish sides. You squirm and a little peal of laughter leaves you. “I’ve got you on all of those, don’t I?”
You roll your eyes, and you know he saw it in the mirrored closet doors on the wall across from you. “If you think I’m going to argue with the youngest AUSA in District history, you’re nuts.” 
A satisfied hum leaves him, and he slips his hand under your shirt, tracing over your skin. “That’s probably a good idea.” Kisses find their way across your shoulders as his hands hike your shirt farther up your body. 
“Aaron,” you whine. “Brienne said no sex.” 
You watch him deliberate in the mirror, making play at deep thought. “...No. She said no penetrative sex, if my memory serves.” His hands wander down to the edge of your underwear and you squirm against him despite yourself. He drops his lips to the sensitive skin behind your ear, making you shiver when he whispers, “And my memory always serves.”
“Damn you.” 
He grins and ducks under the covers, throwing your leg over his shoulder as he settles between your thighs.
+++
The following Monday is your first day back at work, and it’s more than a little difficult to be normal. Aaron had only taken the day after to make sure he was available to drive you to and from Brienne’s office for your procedure, but you’d taken the rest of the week. You’re not sure what Aaron told them - maybe a flu or a stomach bug or maybe you “just needed some personal time” - but you imagined everyone would ask you about it anyways. 
Aaron presses a kiss to your cheek before the elevator opens. You make sure you’re watching when he falls into Hotch Mode as the doors part before you. It’s difficult to hold back your fond smile, but you manage. 
You set your things down at your desk, noting the small purple orchid and note sitting by your desktop. JJ turns in her chair to face you. “Hey! How was your visit with Dean?” 
Oh. That works. Good one, Aaron.
Dean had moved to New York to start with a new brokerage house at the beginning of last summer, and you’d been meaning to get up there to see him. It’s a highly plausible lie. It also helps that Aaron could sell water to a fish. 
Well, he is a lawyer. 
“It was great. Nice to take some time, you know?” You smile at her and you’re sure it doesn’t look quite right when her eyes narrow just a touch. Settling at your desk, you pick up the note addressed to you and open it. 
A flower for my flower :) I know. I’m gross. Sue me. 
(Or don’t...I’ll use my J.D. if you do.)
I love you. - AH
p.s. Don’t worry - I’ll water it when you're away. 
“Conference room in five minutes - Garcia’s got something for us.” Emily strides past you all on the bridge and you grab your tablet. 
Derek offers you a hand and you take it, tucking yourself under his arm as you walk. “What’s the orchid for?”
You shrug, covering how touched you really are by the gesture. “I dunno. I guess we just have a very thoughtful section chief.” 
+++
Inspired by Aaron’s cover story, you give Dean a call when you make it back to the hotel that night after an exhausting day scouting crime scenes that have every indication of a serial killer running rampant through the tiny Maine township.
“Hey babes! How are ya?” His chirp comes singing through the phone, and you find yourself smiling. 
“I’m alright.” 
You can almost hear his eyebrows raise. “Nope. Bullshit. What’s wrong with you?”
“Well, if anyone asks, I just got home from visiting with you for the week.” You start to unpack your go bag, hanging up a couple of your nicer work sets and setting up the bathroom the way you like it. 
“What’s Aaron lying about this time?” 
You laugh, but it tapers off quickly. “Well, as it happens, we had a really shit week last week and I had to take some time off.” 
He’s far more solemn when he speaks again, “That sounds like a little more than a ‘I got a flat tire on my way to work and my coffee was cold’ kind of shit week if you actually took time off.” He pauses. “Oh please don’t tell me you broke off the engagement.” 
“Not at all, not at all. Aaron and I are fine, but…” Going back and forth for a moment, you ultimately decide to tell him. Maybe it will get easier if you say it out loud. “I, um. I miscarried last week.” You’re proud of yourself for spitting it out with only a little stumbling, and Dean’s immediate concern brings tears to your eyes. 
“Oh God, honey. I’m so sorry. Do you want to talk about it at all?”
“I mean -” you take a deep breath. “No? I don’t know. I feel really shitty about it and we talked to Aaron’s mom and I know it isn’t my fault, but -” You huff, getting a little frustrated. “It was a girl, Dean. Aaron was so excited.” 
Something creaks in the background, and you know he’s just settled into the ancient armchair in the corner of his studio. “Don’t forget babe, you were excited, too. This isn’t just disappointing for Aaron, as much as you’d like to make everything about him.” 
You chew on the inside of your cheek. He’s right. “I know, but -”
“No! No buts. This is a loss for both of you, and it's huge. Like, I dunno why people don’t talk about it more. Your kid is your kid is your kid if you wanted them and they didn’t make it. It doesn’t matter if you met her or not - you knew her and she was yours.” 
So, maybe the tears weren’t finished. Dean stops talking for a minute, and you know he can hear you sniffling. 
“Are you going to try again?”
And isn’t that the question of the hour?
“Well, we didn’t really try for this one, but I think we’ve caught the bug. I was planning on talking to Aaron about it a little more when I get home -”
“What’s the case?”
“Maine, probably a serial killer,” you answer promptly, getting right back on track. You’re used to Dean’s quick interruptions. Context is important to him and you’re always happy to provide it. “I don’t think we’re going to try, per se, but I don’t think we’ll be too concerned about being careful either. That way it’s a pleasant surprise instead of something stressful or disappointing, you know?”
“Ah,” he says. “A ‘fuck it and forget it’ approach. I dig it. And we all know Aaron can ‘fuck it’ with the best of them - you’ll have to tell me how the ‘forgetting it’ part goes.”
You laugh despite yourself, wiping at your cheeks. “How do you always manage to make me laugh?”
His laugh sounds from the other side of the phone, and it warms you from your fingers to your toes. You can almost forget its nearly five below zero outside. “What can I say? Laughter is the virtue of the gays.”
Your phone beeps at you, and it’s Aaron. “Hey Beanie, I gotta let you go. Aaron’s beeping in on me.” 
“Go get your tub’a humbus, babe. I’ll talk to you later.”
You switch calls, and raise the phone back to your ear. “Hey, love. What’s goin’ on?”
“I just missed you.” You can hear the sink in the background and you check the clock. 
Ah yes, dishes before bed because someone can’t sleep if there are dishes in the sink. 
“Hi!” Jack shouts from across the kitchen, and it makes you smile. “I miss you!”
“I miss you too, my loves! Though, Aaron, I must say -” you stop yourself. “Am I on speaker?” 
There’s a shuffle, and his voice sounds a lot closer when he replies. “Not anymore.” You know he’s smiling. 
You laugh. “I was going to say, it’s a lot easier to abide by our no-contact order when I’m five states away.”
“Don’t remind me.” You can’t see him, but he sounds at least a little pained. “We’ll be almost done with that by the time you get home, which is nice.” 
“Very nice, indeed.” Settling into bed, you pull the covers up to your chin. “I wish you were here with me.” 
You can hear him walk through the house, getting some distance from Jack. “Yeah?”
“Mhmm. As nice as your new digs are, Chief Hotchner, sleeping without you when I’m on cases is really rough.” A light laugh leaves you. “I still haven’t gotten used to it.” 
He hums. “Well, I’ll make it worth your while when you get home, how’s that?”
“I’ll hold you to it,” you say with a smile. “Goodnight. I love you.” 
“Get some rest. I love you more.” 
+++
Your first hunch was right - serial killer with a preference for blonde women in their forties. Luckily, those factors alone made for a nice, neat, narrow profile, and you were down to a small pool of suspects within days. 
It’s safe to say your heart isn’t in it. You’re almost relieved when JJ calls you out on the way to the medical examiner’s office.
“What’s going on with you and Aaron?” Her bright blue eyes stay on the road as she speaks, but you know she’s completely tuned into you. “You guys seem...off.” 
“We’re fine - the two of us, I mean.” You’re not sure how much to want to tell her. She isn’t Dean. You have to work with her every day, and as much as she’s your friend, it’s hard to talk about this when she already has a son of her own and another on the way. “There’s just, um, some stuff going on at home.”
She reaches across the console and takes your hand. “Whatever it is,” and she sounds like she knows. “You’re not alone.” 
You look over at her and squeeze her hand. There’s something mournful and heartbreaking about the set of her mouth, and something cold and sympathetic washes over you. “Really?”
She nods. “Ours was a girl.” Her confession is quiet and her eyes never once flicker from the road. 
Your voice is just as quiet, almost a secret. “Ours, too.” 
+++
Aaron’s waiting for you in the bullpen when you land in the afternoon two days later. Without shame, you sail through the glass doors and into his arms. It’s a treat - you never feel like you’re truly home until he’s holding you, and you usually have to wait until you get home. 
Derek teases you both on his way back to his desk, and you flip him off. Everyone’s in high spirits and you’re surprised their good moods have rubbed off on you, as well. 
Emily releases you all early with the promise you’ll have your after action reports into her by tomorrow afternoon. On the way home, you tell Aaron about your conversation with JJ, and he’s so moved by it, you’re almost brought to tears again. 
+++
The next morning, Aaron leaves early for a meeting at headquarters in DC. He kisses you goodbye, and in your half-asleep state you grab his tie and make an attempt to keep him right where he is. 
It doesn’t work, but you’re rewarded with a couple extra seconds of adoration, even with your morning breath. He chuckles against your mouth. 
“I gotta go, baby.” 
You whine incoherently at him, but he dodges your reaching hands and  whispers close to your ear as he brings the covers up over your shoulder. “You have another hour before you need to be up. Sleep. I love you.” Another kiss presses into your temple, and you hear the bedroom door close softly behind him. 
When another hour lapses (during which you dozed, quite thankful he told you to get some more sleep), you rise and get ready to head into the office. Jack’s up and getting dressed in his room while you get started in the kitchen. 
But, of course, there’s no need. Aaron has a breakfast spread ready and covered on the counter, with coffee just finished in the percolator. 
A god among men…
You pull your favorites from the pile, and set aside a few things for Jack. This cut your prep time in half at least, so you’ll have a little more time to eat and get settled before you have to be out the door. 
Assembling breakfast is easy, and you and Jack share space in relative silence. He looks up at you over his eggs and grins. Oh, how you love that boy. 
+++
When you get into the office, JJ’s reading a note, a little white envelope tucked behind it. You’re the first two in the office - a shocker, considering the two children between you, both under the age of ten. 
“What have you got there?”
She looks up and you can tell her eyes are a little misty. “Just a really sweet note someone left on my desk.” Waving it in the air, she asks, “Want to read it?”
You smile, setting your things down. “Only if you want me to.” 
She hands it over, and you take it, immediately recognizing Aaron’s handwriting. 
JJ- 
I wish we didn’t know the same loss, but I’m selfishly glad it’s you. Thank you for taking care of us so well. 
As always, anything for you. Just say the word. 
  AH
 “You know,” JJ says as you hand the note back to her. “He wasn’t like this before you.” 
You snort. “Don’t I know it.” 
“No, I’m serious. Even before you guys got together, you made him better. This -” she holds the note up and flicks it, “never would have happened eight years ago.” 
+++
By the time the next case is solved and everyone comes home, Brienne’s orders have expired. Jack is long asleep and you find Aaron in his office. His head is propped up on his hand, elbow on his desk, as he reads over some esoteric legal decision he’s decided to research as a hobby. 
Like he’s not busy enough. 
In fairness, he did defend his newest activity over dinner a few weeks ago. 
“What else am I supposed to do after Jack’s asleep and you’re out on a case? Watch TV? Go to bed early? No, I’m going to review legal decisions and take notes so I don’t bore you to death when you get home.”
“Aaron, you could never bore me to death.” 
“I wouldn’t take that bet.” 
He looks over his reading glasses, and his eyes light up. “Welcome home.” 
You offer him a warm smile as you cross his office and round his desk. “Hi.” 
Aaron drops his pen and pulls you close by your hips, and you lean on the side of his chair. “How was the case?”
“I would hate to spoil Emily’s report that will inevitably be about three hours late getting to your desk on Tuesday.” 
He raises his eyebrows. “I see.” His hand drops down to the outside of your thigh, and you swing a leg over his chair to straddle him, getting situated on his lap. “You know, I still have work to do.” 
“What? Is this Supreme Court decision more interesting than me?”
He shrugs, leaning forward again and picking up his file. His chin hooks over your shoulder, and you settle against his chest as he continues to read. With a sigh, he says, “You’re wearing an awful lot of clothes for someone who wants something specific.” 
You huff. “Oh, c’mon. It’s not like I’m getting any in here.” 
“You don’t know that.” His voice is even, almost distracted, but when you shift over him you can tell he’s affected. “Something might surprise you.” 
“Are you suggesting what I think you��re suggesting?”
He takes another breath and, just like he’s done so many times before, says, “Sweetheart, I’m not suggesting anything.” 
+++
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volturicangetit · 4 years
Text
A.V/J.V/EM.C/R.C- Happy with someone else
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Summary: Alice gets a vision about you and the Volturi. Luckily it’s a good one, but Emmett and Rosalie still aren’t happy. 
Request: YES/no @rexburn12​ : Can I Have A Part 2 For Loved At Last Basically When Reader Left To Italy? The Other Cullens Are Disappointed and Angry At How Emmett and Rosalie Treated Reader To Harshly. Alice, and Jasper Especially Since They're Reader's Friends. Alice Explains To Everyone Reader Was Supposed To Join Them He Would've Brought Joy To Everyone. Alice Tells Everyone Reader's Wolf Form Would Have Been White With Beautiful Golden Eyes. And Alice Shows A Drawing Of It. Stunning Everyone Of How Beautiful It Is.
Warings: none
Wordcount: 1742
PART 1
The three masters had sent a letter to the Cullens and the wolves pack to let them know that you would be living in the castle from now on. Demitri and Felix went to get your stuff since you didn't want to show your face in Forks again. They didn't get a warm welcome. They had to meet up at the reservoir border since they couldn't come in the wolves territory. They found an angry Paul and Seth waiting for them with your bags. Sam was also there to hold back Paul in case things got violent. "Is Y/n doing okay?" Seth asks the two vampires.
Demitri nods at him as we walk closer to the wolves to grab your bags. "They are happy. I wouldn't normally say this about your kind but I'm glad that they're in the castle," he says. Seth nods at this. He misses you. God, how much he misses you. But he also knows how hard it can be when your imprints reject you.
"Did they....um. Did they imprint again?" Seth asks. Felix nods. The tension that has been building up in all of the wolves now drops. You were happy. You were living with your imprints. Sam hands Demitri your bags, making sure to be extra careful with them. "You can visit when you want to, you know," Felix says.
Paul lets out a scoff. "Being in the vampire capital? Not really for us," Sam says calmly. Demitri nods understandingly. An awkward silence lingers over the group for a while before Demitri and Felix say their goodbyes and walking back to their car. They load your bag into the car and drive off quickly towards the airport, racing through every speed limit.
____
"I'm so disappointed in you two," Carlisle says. His arms are crossed over his chest as he holds the letter from the Volturi in one hand. Emmett and Rosalie are sitting on the couch, both on opposite ends of it. They both looked like kicked dogs. "I thought that you would be more mature than this.".
Neither of the two mates dares to speak a word. Sending you away and saying those harmful words had been their biggest regret these last couple of months. You were just another wolf to them first. But now that you are gone they can feel that you were more. The empty hole in both of their chests gives away any hope of covering it up by just 'missing a friend'. They are missing their mate. Emmett shakes his head to get his self-deprecating thoughts to stop.
"Well, whatever you wanted, it worked. Y/n's living in Volterra now.". Rosalie looks up from the ground and up at Carlisle. She quickly stands up from the couch, her fists now clenched by her side.
"What?" she whispers. She thought that you were just with the wolves for these couple of months. If she knew you had left, she would have stopped you from leaving. "You're lying. It's dangerous! Do you know how many vampires live there?".
Carlisle throws the letter at her. She manages to catch it. Emmett stands up and walks over to his mate. He stands behind Rosalie and reading the letter along with her while letting his head rest on her shoulder. He shakes his head against her as the word register in his head.
Dear Carlisle,
It seems like your coven members have driven away Y/n. What a shame. Luckily, our sweet Jane and Alec found them. We can assure you that Y/n will live their days happily in the castle with their imprints. Demitri and Felix will come to pick up their belongings on the 24th.
Greetings,
The Volturi
"That was yesterday," Emmett says softly. "We missed them.". Carlisle nods. He runs his hands over his face. He had never been this disappointed or disgusted by any of them but now he couldn't even look Emmett or Rosalie in the eyes. He couldn't for months now.
"Bella and Edward are moving back in. You guys are going to stay in their cottage. We all need some time away from you," Carlisle says. Emmett's jaw drop. He shakes his head. "You can't just kick us out," Rosalie says.
Carlisle grabs the pair of keys laying on the coffee table in front of the couch. "We aren't," he says as he hands the keys over to Emmett. "We just need to breathe for a bit.". He finally looks up to see both of their faces. Sadness is pooling in their eyes. Both look exhausted and their eyes are darker than normal. They have been forgetting to go hunting. But that's their fault.
___
The castle has been wonderful. It's cooler inside even without an AC due to the thick bricks that make up the walls and the lack of windows. It took some time getting used to living with vampires. The wolf in you is still constantly at guard, feeling a threat nearby. But Jane and Alec have been helping you through it. They have both become more joyful and less serious now that you've been in their lives. They started living more for themselves and not only for the Volturi. Some of the lower guards still had to get used to the fact that there was now a wolf living with them but no one ever dared to hurt you or insult you, so at least that was good.
"What are you thinking about?" Alec says. You turn your head so that you can look at him. You let out a sigh and let your rest against his shoulder while your fingers are still laced with Jane's. You shrug.
"Everything," you say with a droopy smile. "How much better everything is with you guys.". Jane lets out a soft giggle. She nods. "It better be," she says.
Alec snakes his arm around you to pull you closer to him. Both vampires always loved how warm you are. It might just be a wolf thing, but you always seemed to be warmer than normal people. And since Alec and Jane couldn't keep themselves anymore, any warmth you could give them was always welcome.
"I can't imagine how things would have been if I stayed in Forks," you say. Alec raises his brows at your comment to which you shrug again. "I would have been so miserable. Being in the same town as them.". Jane lays a hand on your cheek to turn your head towards her.
"But you aren't there," she says softly. "You are here. With us. And happy.". You give her a kiss on the top of her hand before pulling her closer to you as well. The twins cuddle into you. "That's true," you say. You are with them. And happy. Happier than you've ever been.
____
Jasper's sad eyes are focused on the trees. He's sitting on the couch, knees pulled up to his chest. He took you leaving the hardest, probably. You and he were close friends, best friends even. When you left you took a part of him with you. Alice knew how he felt. She was also close to you. Not as close as you were with Jasper but still close. Alice stays behind Jasper. She leans against the wall while holding a book you gave her. She has been reading it back-to-back since you left.
All of a sudden a vivid vision floods her mind. Her fingers grip tighter onto the book as images of you flash before her eyes. You, laughing with Alec and Jane. The other Volturi members are in the same room as you. Though it's peaceful, she can feel it. Everyone is laughing together.
Jasper turns his head towards Alice. He sees her eyes darting from place to place and he immediately knows what's happening. He grabs the sketchbook and pencil that are laying before him and runs over to Alice. he guides her to the table, sits her down at a chair and pushes the pencil into her hand. She starts sketching the images from her vision.
A wolf, white with bright golden eyes flashes before her eyes and she quickly draws it out onto the paper. Thick fur and pearly white fangs. She blinks a couple of times as the vision starts to go away. Once her regular sight her recovered again, she looks up at Jasper. He's staring down at the drawings his mate made. "Who's that?" he asks as he points at the wolf.
"Y/n," Alice whispers out. Edward suddenly enters the room. He noticed Alice's vision due to his gift. Esme, Carlisle, Bella, Emmet and Rosalie soon follow behind him.
"What's going on?" Bella asks. Edward points to the sketchbook laying on the table. Rosalie snatched it away from Alice and Holds it closer to herself to get a better look at it before handing it over to Emmett. "Is that Y/n?" Bella asks. Alice nods.
Alice reaches out for Jasper and he quickly pulls her close to her. "I saw them, in my vision," she says. Carlisle looks at her with a tilted head, eager to hear more. "They brought happiness to the Volturi. And peace. That's them.". She points at her drawing, now in Esme's hands. Emmett nods his head.
'Did you see more?" he asks. Alice smiles at him. "They're happy. Really happy. The Volturi takes good care of Y/n.". The tension building up in Emmett's shoulder is released. He grabs ahold of Rosalie's hand. She gives him a sad smile.
The rest of the Cullens understand what they're thinking about. 'They're happy, Emmett," Edward says. "Maybe not with you, but they're happy.". Emmett nods. He lets out a sigh.
'You're right, they're happy," he says. He's happy for you, he truly is. But oh God, how much you were that happy because of him.
TWILIGHT TAGLIST (OPEN):
@scuzmunkie @thanossexual @prettyinblack231 @kpopgirlbtssvt​ @cullens-stuff​ @rexburn12​
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darknessisafriend · 4 years
Note
Hi! Can I ask for hcs' about almost every Joaquin character (y'know, Joe, Theo, Arthur, Ray, and many more) when they're on Christmas with you? Going to a party, with your family, staying at home, in a shopping, gettting presents, taking you to a café or a restaurant, putting on christmas decorations at home, what you eat with them or how you enjoy the night and fireworks, stuff like that. Thank you! Love your imagines!
Hiii I wrote and before Christmas so I’m really happy! (I literally spend my days writing it from morning to late in the night) so I hope you will like it!! 
Following HCs with: Arthur/Joker, Commodus, Joe, Abbe, Charlie, Bobby, Bruno, Willie, Max, Theodore, Merrill, Freddie, Ray
Arthur/Joker
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-        Christmas is Arthur’s and Joker favorite day of the year after Mardi Gras. It is a day where he can be fully himself, wear one of those ‘ugly’ knitted sweaters, listen to oldies Christmas songs. He feels people more relaxed in the streets, it must be Christmas spirit softening them a little, even in Gotham. And usually you would manage to convince Joker not to make too much trouble and stay by your side all day instead.
 -        You would be staying home together on Christmas Eve. It would be a very simple day because you didn’t have a lot of money but what is important is to be together, and it’s what you would remind to Arthur, no need for something big or fancy, just to be together in Christmas spirit.  
 -        You would buy a few decorations, but you would mostly create them yourself, spending the weekends of December making them with Arthur as you drank hot chocolate. Your flat would be colorful, filled with red and white tinsels and candy canes; you both went to a park and discreetly cut a few pine trees branches to decorate the appartement.
 -        Of course, Arthur would make the surprise to buy a Christmas tree, not too big, but it was more than enough to make you smile with happiness. And you would decorate it with anything that was shiny and candy canes too of course.
 -        For dinner you would not buy anything expensive, but luckily you and Artie were pretty good in cooking and you could manage to make delicious dishes with basic ingredients, roasted potatoes with bacon wrapped turkey and red wine gravy, and you would drink the other half of the bottle while eating. And of course, your favorite part, an apple cake topped with cinnamon and sugar.
 -        You want the night to be as relaxing as possible, you would cook with Arthur while listening to music, exchanging kisses and giggling. Then, after dinner, you two would settle in the sofa, and watch Disney Christmas cartoons while drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows.
 -        The next morning, Arthur or Joker would be the first awake, excited like a kid and eager to open his gift. Yes, usually with Arthur it would be one or two gifts for each of you. Arthur would have worked extra hours and saved as much money as he could to be able to buy you something nice, he bought those cute earrings you had seen once in a store front. Joker would get you more gifts and would get a bit extravagant, but it was really fun. You would get a nice suit or piece of accessories for Joker. For Arthur you would get a warm sweater or scarf so that he wouldn’t get cold when he is outside.
 -        As soon as the gifts were open and breakfast with nice pastries taken; you and Arthur would head to your grandparents’ home where you would be reunited with your parents and cousins as well. Arthur was always a bit nervous about it but once they all greeted him with a hug, he would be smiling all along, hugging back your family and playing with your cousins and nephews. He never had a family but now he had one. Joker had promised you he would never come out on Christmas, it was always sweet Arthur, otherwise your parents would have freaked out.
Commodus
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-        Saturnalia was always an amazing holiday. For whole a week the whole Empire would celebrate in honor of the god Saturn. It was a very special day where the People would be pampered by their Emperor and where even slaves would be provided by table service and dining with their masters, all would party and share. Many offerings were made to the god but also to the people.
-         
-        Commodus was always particularly joyful on that holiday. The first day, he always had a hard time not working but then, the next day, the real Commodus was back, joyful and relaxed. He would dedicate his days entirely to you, his nephew and the rest of the family.
-         
-        Commodus would be dressed colorfully, wear red and gold togas and you would usually wear matching clothes, except on Saturnalia eve where you would wear purple and gold, an outfit especially made for that night. You both loved beautiful clothes and it was the occasion to shine even more.
 -        He would make sure that Lucius gets chosen as the Saturnalicius princeps, the Lord of Misrule for the whole week. And Lucius loved it, he was able to prank everyone and especially his dear uncle who at first regretted it, and then you would find him pranking back Lucius or even you, those two were children.  
 -        The whole week, Commodus would offer chariot racing in the grand arena, the greatest charioteer gathered for the most exciting races and with great rewards, as well as gifts for the public. You both enjoyed it, no blood, no deaths, pure entertainment for all.
-         
-        It would be a huge party in the streets of Rome, people singing in the streets naked, drinking and gambling. With the Senate, Commodus would make sure to have a delicious public buffet offered to the people at the Temple of Saturn. He wants everyone to enjoy this holiday. And at night on the eve of Saturnalia, Commodus would organize a big party in the palace, where he would completely let himself go and enjoy the moment.
 -        For dinner, he would get you the finest foods from the whole Empire and even from far beyond, exotic dancers, magicians and entertainers would be invited as well to make this night unforgettable. He would make sure you smile and laugh, that you simply feel home, and it really were.
 -        “Io Saturnalia my love!” he would cheer, all tipsy, a big goofy grin on his face, coming to wrap his arms around you, almost spilling his cup of wine on you as he starts trying to dance, he wouldn’t care if he looked ridiculous, he wanted to hold you in his arms and kiss you. To be honest, drunk Commodus was probably the most adorable thing you ever saw.
 -        Commodus would be very nervous about the presents, he wants the best for you and he wants to impress you even if he knows he doesn’t have to but Commodus feels this need to constantly prove himself and his love for you.
 -        Early in the morning the day before, he would go out in the city in disguise to get your gifts, he doesn’t trust anyone else to get the best for you and choosing your gifts himself is very important to him, he wants something true, something that truly reflects how he feels for you. He would have a ring especially forged for you, with a blue gemstone incrusted in the center of it, reminding you of his gorgeous blue outfit that you loved so much. And for his nephew, his first real sword to train with him. As for you, you would get him a very fine wine from Greece and then a rather…sensual that you would were in your bedroom that night, you would be his gift in a way; and it would made him even crazier for you.
 -        After this long night of celebration, you and Commodus would take your time and just sleep as long as you could, it was the last day before getting back to work and you wanted him fully rested and ready to take care of the Empire as ardently as before. You had opened your gifts at midnight so there was nothing waiting to be done, except perhaps Lucius who was eager to take his first lesson from his uncle, but the boy was clever and let you enjoy your husband a few hours more….Io Saturnalia.
Joe 
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-        Christmas with Joe would be quiet, something peaceful at home, it would mean a moment of full relaxion for Joe and perhaps the only moment where he feels like he doesn’t have to be on his guard all the time.
 -        You would spend Christmas Eve’s afternoon in an animal shelter with Joe, you two would pamper the pets and take them on a walk outside. You had discovered Joe rather enjoyed spending time with animals, especially dogs, it seemed to sooth him and you were thinking of adopting one of the dogs as his Christmas gift. So, this moment would be a good occasion as well to see which one he preferred.
 -        You would usually spend Christmas eve and Christmas day with your family, just your parents. It did good to Joe to be with other people. And your parents loved him, your father was a veteran and they understood each other. And then your mother just loved him and always offered him more cookies.
 -        You would do part of the shopping with Joe, especially to buy ingredients to cook for him and your family and then buy a few decorations. Joe would shop separately for your gift of course. And he would be in charge to get the Christmas tree and somehow he always ended up picking one that was too tall to fully fit in the living room, so he would have to climb on the stepladder and shorten the top of the trunk  and you couldn’t help but laugh. Poor Joe, he always picked up the biggest and most beautiful trees.
 -        This year Joe got you a few books, fantasy and sci-fi stories. It wasn’t his genre at all, but he knew you enjoyed it, and he hoped he had chosen well, he had made a research on internet to see which were better. As for you, well, you had gotten him the dog he was fond of at the shelter.
 -        You and Joe would cook with your parents, you would take care of the dessert with your dad while Joe and your mother did the rest. It wouldn’t be anything too complicated but there were many dishes to fill in everyone and especially Joe’s great appetite. As your mother said, a big man like him needed strength to carry on. And he truly managed to eat everything she was serving him, which you never thought was possible.
 -        As for the Christmas decoration of your house, it would be discreet but enough to remind of the Christmas spirit. The Christmas tree, a few tinsels on the walls or the banister and that was it. For everything, Joe liked to remain discreet. Still, you managed to get him to wear a Christmas sweater at home and with your family and he was the most adorable like that.
 -        The night would be spent taking your time dinning with your family, and then they would light a fire in the chimney, and drink mulled wine while talking about the many things that happened during the year. Then, your dad would put on some vinyl, oldies Christmas song; and you couldn’t resist but to get Joe to dance with, a slow dance, pressed against each other as you listened to the music.
 -        The next morning, you were the first one awake, excited to open your gifts. Well, you thought you were the first one awake, but you would soon realize Joe wasn’t sleeping by your side, maybe he was eager too. However, when you reached downstairs, you found him cooking a marvelous breakfast and not just for you but your parents as well, already wearing the Christmas sweater you had gotten him.
Abbe de Coulmier 
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-        Christmas was obviously a very important day for the Abbe, the birth of the Christ and a day of love. Which meant a lot of work for him, he was a priest after all, and he wanted to give love to people around him and the people in need. And he also wanted to make this day special for his patients, many had been abandoned by their families, and he wanted to make them feel at home, celebrating this important day together.
 -        He would encourage his patients to create decorations, some patients even crafting wood, others picking up pine tree branches to ornate the doors of their cells. Then, you and Madeleine would spend the day cooking for the dinner, the Abbe as always had managed the finances excellently and you had extra money to buy more food and ingredients and cook something more sophisticated for this day and even Yule logs for everyone. You would even convince him to cook biscuits with the patients, it made them very happy and also seeing him covered in flour was adorable, you couldn’t stop giggling and teasing him.
 -        Then, towards the end of the afternoon you would help him greet homeless and poor for the evening and night, distributing blankets to them, and sharing a warm dinner with them and a shelter for the night. So, this was a very big day for him and slightly exhausting, but the Abbe was a workaholic, he lived for other people and he loved helping.
 -        Charenton had become his family so there was no reason for him to come out of the Asylum. And also, you were there, by his side. And he loved you, even if he knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t resist the temptation you were, and he wanted to make this day special for you too.
 -        He had very little money, but he had still managed to go in town, and buy you a beautiful blue scarf to keep you warm in the corridors of Charenton.  As for you, you had saved as much money as you could to buy him this beautiful chain with a little golden cross, he could wear it around his neck all day along, underneath his cassock.
 -        It would be a very heartwarming night where everyone would be reunited in the canteen, a beautiful fire lit in the chimney. Everyone would sit close to it and listen to the Marquis, standing in front of it, telling funny stories and also Christmas stories which he had agreed to tell after the irresistible request from his favorite priest. As the Marquis was getting everyone’s attention, you felt the Abbe discreetly brush his fingers against yours, to finally entwine your hands, making you blush, you would exchange a look full of love, tonight he would spend the night in your bed.
 -        To end the night, he would celebrate the midnight mass, patients and employees gathered and singing songs celebrating the day of the birth of Jesus Christ. It would be a great moment to remind everyone the values of Christmas, compassion, sharing, kindness and love.
 -        The next morning you would both be awakened by the excited cheering of the patients, eager to open their gifts. He couldn’t help but chuckle, it seems you two won’t be able to make love again this morning, but he would find another way, probably request you to his office for some reason. It wouldn’t stop him from filling your face with kisses before getting up and putting his cassock on. As you both opened your gifts with everyone else, you would know which one was his gift and he would know which one is yours; the look he would give you would be more powerful than words and you would smile in return, you felt blessed.
 Charlie 
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-        Charlie wasn’t a Christmas guy, not all. Mostly because he kept bad memories from it, his father made it hell for him and his brother, and his mother too. Even if she had always tried to make them smile, making them eggnog, discreetly slipping a gift in their bed in the morning.
 -        Naturally as an adult, he wasn’t really down for it, except getting drunk in a Saloon. But you were there to teach him another way to celebrate Christmas, and it would be a way he would surely enjoy; and he would end up with Christmas spirit.
 -        So, obviously you would spend the day with his family, his brother and his mother. And Charlie wouldn’t be so opposed to it; at first, he might complain and say he doesn’t feel like going. But as soon as he sees his family, he smiles and greet them with a hug, he would never admit it out loud but he missed them and Christmas would be the perfect occasion to spend time together.
 -        You would have to accompany Charlie to the different stores for Christmas shopping, he always played tough guys and now he didn’t want to go shopping alone, it made you retain a laugh, your man was dumb sometimes.  Of course, once he finds something that could be a great gift for you, he would do his best to hide it behind his back, and most of the time pretend he didn’t find anything, you would roll your eyes, you knew his lying face but it was adorable. For his mother, he would some embroidered hankies, another scarf for his brother, just to tease him and for you, an expensive perfume from San Francisco. As for him, you would spend a lot of time and money with specialist to have a prosthetic arm designed for him, he still had a hard time with it and perhaps it would help him feel better and for when he rides again.
 -        You and his mother would cook, both men were terrible at cooking anything else than beans. So, out of question that they came into the kitchen, especially since last time where Charlie managed to eat half of the cookies you had made. You would also cook apples pies, and a roasted turkey that the two men had hunted earlier.
 -        As for decorations, the two men had managed to cut a pine tree that resembles a Christmas tree. You would all together decorate the tree, thanks to their mother pushing them to participate. It would be filled with red ribbons, berries, paper strings, yarn, and other homemade decoration Eli had brought. You would even hang a few cookies in the tree.
 -        When the night came, a fire was lit to keep everyone warm, after all the winter was extremely cold in this part of the country. You would eat joyfully, the boys telling their most epic and finniest anecdotes. Obviously, alcohol would be part of the night, though you tried to keep Charlie just tipsy, except if you were drunk too and joined him in messing around. You would end the night singing joyful Christmas songs together.
 -        The next morning, Charlie would be the one waking up everyone, he would even try to guess what his gifts were while everyone was still asleep. “But Charlie it’s 7 am…on Christmas.” you yawned, you couldn’t believe he was excited like a child for it, but in a way your understood him, Charlie had never celebrated Christmas and soon his brother was up as well, eager to unwrap his gifts. Charlie would be left speechless as he unwraps his gift and discovers the prosthetic arm, the only thing he would do is to hug you tightly, burying his head in your neck, and placing a kiss on your skin, before letting you put the prosthetic on him.
Bobby Green 
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-        Christmas for Bobby had become another mean to party, not as much as for New Year though. He just loved to enjoy life to the fullest unlike his family meetings where everyone was more uptight than the others.
-        So obviously, Bobby would much prefer to spend Christmas just with you, not even with his friends from El Caribe. Though, later in the evening, after dinner, you two might head to the club a little but not to work, simply dance and have fun.  
 -        You would do Christmas decorations shopping together trying to find which color would fit the best for this year; obviously you had a thing for red because it was a color that went well with Bobby too and you picked up gold as a second color; yes, this would be perfect. The very same day, arms full of bags, you would get a Christmas tree, a big fluffy one which would proudly wear the decorations you had bought.  
 -        Then, another day, Bobby would spend quite some time shopping, thanks to his job, money wasn’t a problem, but the problem was finding something perfect for you. Bobby would get you gold earrings with a little diamond on each, and the design would perfectly match with your face and he would also buy some sexy lingerie for you both to enjoy. You would get him an earring as well, the coincidence was rather funny, but it was a detail you particularly loved about him.
 -        As the evening comes, Bobby would bring you to a nice restaurant in the city center, it was a rather fancy one but not too much to avoid uptight people who couldn’t bear a laugh. It was fancy enough to fix the event in your memories. And you would enjoy a classic feast, and even Foie gras and dishes with truffles. Obviously, you would drink champagne, it would be a night of ‘excess and pleasure’ as Bobby said, and you loved this intensity.
 -        The decorations would mostly be on the Christmas tree, then you would spread little decorations everywhere, on cupboards and counters and then add many glitters which would be hell to clean up afterwards but you recognized Bobby’s great taste in decorations, he knew how to make it joyful and give a party atmosphere to a place.
 -        After the restaurant, you would head to El Caribe, at least you knew it was the best place to party in all safety. You and Bobby would just go wild, dancing pressed against each other, exchanging kisses and getting horny in no time; to the point that you would soon go back home to make love right away. Then, late in the night you couldn’t resist but open your gifts, giggling like children. So, there wouldn’t be really a Christmas morning for you, just sleeping late in each other’s arms, and it would be the best morning ever.
Bruno Weiss 
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-        For Bruno, Christmas was like any other day. He was Jewish but not practicing so he wasn’t really celebrating in any way. And he was often alone on Christmas, his girls always finding a gentleman or another way to celebrate without him. And he had expected you spend Christmas away, with your family in San Francisco; but you surprised when you asked him what he would like to do with you for Christmas, it had made him so happy that you thought about him, even surrounded by his girls, he had always been a lonely man.
 -        Bruno would spoil you during this day, actually he would dedicate his time entirely to you and that starting from the morning. He wasn’t great at cooking breakfast but at least he tried, and that only made you happy. And you were even more when he announced you that he would spend the whole day with you to prepare Christmas.
 -        He would rather enjoy shopping with you, his woman, walking hands in hands from shop to shop, his arms getting fuller of bags each time. Once again, he would spoil you, trying to fulfil you every desires, though Bruno wasn’t a rich man either; so, when you showed him an item that was too expensive, you would see it instantly, the way, he avoided your gaze, an embarrassed look on his face, he wished he could buy you anything you desired. “Hey darling, you know what? I don’t need it, it’s all good, don’t worry.” You would reassure him, tenderly kissing him on the lips. He swore to himself he would make you feel like the luckiest women in the world when you would open your gifts.
 -        You would buy many items to put in the Christmas tree and a few garlands but the most important purchase had been this new thing, electric light garlands, you had not doubts it would look perfect on the tree, and what better than to have the latest modern house items? And about that, Bruno completely agreed.
 -        Bruno would get you a new dress and makeup as well; it was one of his favorite things, to watch you put on your makeup, making yourself even more beautiful than you already were and that view was only for him. And you would buy him a new pocket watch, not one he bought on the black market for nothing, one with a beautiful design and your initials engraved inside the watch cover, so there would always be a bit of you with him.
 -        On Christmas Eve, you would stay home together, you would cook dinner and he would try to help. However, Bruno doesn’t have much patience so his help would be rather limited, and you would soon tell him to sit down and just keep you company. You would cook a roasted chicken, cookies and a fruit cake. However, on Christmas day, for lunch he would bring you to a restaurant, fancier than the usual restaurant he goes to; you would get smoked salmon and cocktails with champagne. And he had to admit, it was nice to have celebrations from time to time, and Christmas spirit was perhaps starting to grow on him.
 -        For the night, Bruno was more inclined to just stay home, but you wanted to show him something more, and you managed to convince him to go to a jazz club, at least to listen to the Christmas songs recreated with jazz stylings. After a while, you saw your boyfriend relaxed, so you put your hand on his, gently stroking it and by the look in your eyes, he would understand and accept to dance with you, a slow dance, embracing each other.
 -        The next morning; the air was rather chill, the both of you waking up slowly, caressed by the warm rays of the sun, snuggling a bit more in his embrace as you felt the air cooler than usual, it had snowed. You would happily open your gifts as you shared a coffee, wrapped in your warm bathrobe, a soft smile was on Bruno’s face, this peace, warmth; Christmas wasn’t so bad after all.
Willie Gutirrez 
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-        Willie absolutely loved Christmas and didn’t hide it. It was a great occasion to spend time with you and your family and everyone knew Wille was a family man. He wasn’t the most churchgoing man, but this day would have a religious meaning for him as well. And actually, he would make sure the apartment you shared would be decorated for the 1st of December and he would get an advent calendar with chocolates, he loves it and you would have never thought that about Willie but it was really cute.
 -        That meant that you would spend Christmas holidays at your parents’ home. It was nice to travel a bit and change of air. And your parents just loved Willie, this hard-working young man who satisfied your every desires and who was kind and funny, to them he was perfect; and to you too of course, after all you were madly in love.
 -        Obviously, you would shop together, for everything: decorations, gifts for you and your family, food and chocolates. You would tease each other, trying to guess the gift hidden in the bag of the other, and you would have to wait Christmas morning to know which was even more exciting.  
 -        The apartment would be perfectly decorated, as if a home stylist had done it, silver and gold, the Christmas tree big and fluffy and perfectly decorated, the nativity scene underneath it. You were very proud of your decorations.
 -        Before joining your parents’ house, you and Willie would make cookies. But it would be hard to focus for you, Willie was really sexy, wearing an apron, a comfy sweater and a Christmas hat just to tease you because he knew the effect it had on you. Obviously, you would end up having sex on the counter between Christmas cookies. Once you would have joined your parents Willie would insist on helping out your mother, which would make her fall for him even more, and he would drink a glass of whisky with your father the same time while talking politics; yes, he had completely seduced them, to your greatest pleasure.
 -        Willie would also surprise you all by taking out an expensive bottle of champagne one of his acquaintances would have gifted him. Other than that, you would eat a rather classic Christmas feast, braised pork, vegetables and a few canapés.
 -        After dinner, you would all settle in the sofas in the living room, you snuggled against Willie, drinking hot spiced apple cider as your parents told your boyfriend memories of your childhood, some rather embarrassing actually but it made him laugh and he loved knowing those things about you. Your parents would be the first to head to bed; you and Willie would stay a bit more, exchanging slow and tender kisses until it was time to sleep and let the magic of Christmas happen.
 -        The next morning, you would be awakened by more kisses from Willie, feather-like kisses on your face, his fingers gently pushing away the strands of hair on your face. “Don’t you want to find out what Santa got you?” he’d tease you. And you would truly hesitate between considering him your Santa gift and getting up, and he knew it. And after a little you would both finally get up, happily opening your gifts. Willie would be smiling all the time, he  had family who loved him now.
Max California 
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-        Max celebrates Christmas but not in the typical way to do it. For him it is an overrated celebration, with a lot of fuss with all these decorations and Christmas movies on TV all day along and the whole picking up Christmas tree imperative. Also, Max doesn’t blend in very well with Christmas atmosphere with his look that he keeps all year along. People tend to look at him in a strange way when Christmas comes, seeing a guy all dressed in black with piercings and tattoos.
 -        It would be really fun when you boyfriend would realize that you are used to celebrate Christmas and that you rather enjoy the atmosphere. You would spare him Christmas songs and put on your headphones though you wouldn’t sometimes, just to embarrass him.
 -        You would celebrate Christmas just the two of you, you preferred to take baby steps with him, family gatherings on those type of celebrations made him uneasy because people were no fun, he couldn’t make his usual sex jokes or talk about the funniest things that happened back at the sex shop.
 -        You would manage to convince him to get a Christmas tree, and he got one in a pot so that you could plant it somewhere later. And you would accept that he chooses the decorations for it and thankfully you had no guests because this was hilarious and outrageous. Bulbs that looks like boobs, leather collars and other kinky stuff he had gotten at the shop; at least it was unique and very much Max California.
 -        As gifts, you would buy him more clothes that would perfectly match his style and you would get him a new sound system for his guitar, you didn’t want him to renounce to his passion and his dream of being a successful musician one day. As for Max well…. he would get you a few sexy things and also makeup that would perfectly match your face and look, you always loved when he did that, he was better than you at picking up those products, he really had great taste.
 -        For Christmas eve dinner you would order delivery but something out of the ordinary, something a bit fancy, your kitchen wasn’t the best to cook anyway, small and poorly equipped. And actually, you and Max would go for one of the most expensive Japanese restaurants of LA, and damn that was worth it, exotic and unique for this special night.
 -        You would move the little table to the window and open it, giving you a little view on the city. Since you two had moved from his rather questionable flat, you lived in a much better and beautiful neighborhood. After dinner you would head outside for a walk hand in hand by the beach, sharing a cigarette under the cool air and watching a few decorated store fronts; Max always finding ways to make a dirty joke.
 -        The next morning, you would wake up in your favorite way, Max tracing kisses along your thighs, that rascal never forgot his priorities, you thought, giggling sleepily and well, Christmas could wait a little more.  Obviously, after this little morning fun, you would go open your gifts under the tree while Facetiming with your parents “Oh my God Max!” you burst out laughing, you couldn’t show this gift to your parents “But baby it was a limited Christmas edition!” he’d reply, making everyone laugh even more.
 Theodore Twombly
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-        Knowing how romantic and old-fashioned Theodore is, he absolutely loved Christmas. It had been a rough period for when he was single and without anyone to celebrate Christmas with but Amy. Celebrating with a friend is much different than with your lover and family. So, he was more than excited to celebrate it with you.
 -        With Theodore you would get up before sunrise and take the car to drive to his chalet in the mountains. That already put you in the full Christmas atmosphere, it was sunny and full of snow, so much that for a while you thought you wouldn’t be able to access the chalet.
 -        You would spend Christmas eve and the next day together, just the two of you, in his chalet, lost in the mountains, it would become your little heaven frozen in time where only what you felt for each other mattered.
 -        Theodore would have shopped for your gifts the whole year, but he would have wrapped them a few days before Christmas, to keep the magic of the celebration. He would have gotten you all sorts of gifts, from an artisanal wooden carved object, to the latest video game you wanted. And you would have gotten a game too but what people call now old-fashioned one, a board game. Those were rather expensive today because people much preferred immersive virtual games now, but you were sure he would love it.
 -        Theodore would have already all the decorations you could possibly need, ready in boxes in the basement, you were honestly surprised by the choice in colors he had. You would both decorate the whole chalet, inside and outside with classic garlands and electrical garlands to, it was so much more beautiful than the holographic ones. This year, you would go for blue and white and also add candy canes in the tree because it was just too good not to put them. Speaking of the Christmas tree you would go get it in a pine tree nursery nearby.  And the great thing was that you could chose it and cut it yourself, though you left that task to Theodore, despite several tries you couldn’t manage to hit the same spot each time; it was physical but you both really had fun.
 -        You would cook Christmas eve dinner together, already dressed in your warm and comfy pajamas; the fire lit in the chimney. You would make tons of different cookies with hot chocolate and marshmallows. Theodore was vegetarian and you too so you would cook a wonderful vegetarian dinner, something simple and delicious that wasn’t too complicated to make so that you could spend the day enjoying other things as well.
 -        You would have dinner with candle lights while listening to oldies Christmas songs, it would be super romantic and you couldn’t stop smiling all the time and Theodore felt the same, it was a perfect Christmas.  Then, you would go on the balcony, wrapped in a warm blanket, Theodore hugging you from behind as you looked at the stars, the sky was clear and it was a stunning view. Actually, you don’t know how much time you stayed there, despite the cold, you both couldn’t stop looking. Though after a while it would be really cold and you would run inside to snuggle in front of the TV and watch Christmas movies, you barely payed attention to it, too busy exchanging tender kisses until you felt it was time to go to sleep.
 -        The following morning, after opening your gifts, the both of you were overjoyed with what you had gotten. And soon, your parents would join you and Theodore for a few days and they would also take you cross-country skiing, to the great joy of Theodore….he wasn’t a sport guy at all but he would follow you anywhere in the world.
Merrill Hess
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-        Christmas for Merill meant family time, he already spent a significant amount of time with his nephews and brother but less since you had moved together in a house farther down the neighborhood. And also, he was often away since he had integrated one of the best baseball team of the country. So, Christmas was a great way to be reunited all together.
-        You would spend the whole day in family, playing the snow with your nephews, obviously Merill would start a snowball fight, and he was the best at it, great aim and great strength especially when you received it right in the face. And you, on your side struggled to reach your target, and you couldn’t even run after him to get closer, he ran damn fast! At least your nephews laughed a lot at this. Afterwards, you would make a snowman competition, you and Abigail against Merill and Morgan, and Graham, would decide of the winners and it was your team who won, and the price was extra cookies.  
 -        Merill and Graham would go shopping while you watched after the children, who didn’t know at all that Santa was shopping. And in the meantime, with your nephews you would get the many boxes of decoration out of the basement and decorate the whole house so that that they would have the surprise when they come back. Though you would leave the nativity scene to Graham and his children, it was very important for them.
 -        In the meantime, the two brothers would not only buy the gifts but also food for the dinner, a menu that everyone had composed together. You had already your gift for Merill, a sled and a few DVDs of his favorite movies, as for him he would get you a tartan rug and the finest chocolates he could find, he knew how much you loved chocolate so he didn’t look at the price.
 -        For the Christmas tree you would all go together to pick it up, the children wanted the biggest one and Merill was always part of the children when it came to the Christmas tree. You and Graham would be more rational and manage to calm them down a bit and get them to chose one that would fit in the living room and 6’7 wasn’t bad at all.
 -        After playing a while outside and being frozen now, you would get to cooking, a great way to warm up again. Of course, the children were learning to cook so they participated in the elaboration of the dinner, it was a joyful moment where everyone had their importance and helped. Stuffed turkey, carrots, potatoes and an apple pie for dessert and everything in big portions because of the two growing up and the sportsman that was Merill.
 -        The night would be full of laughter and joy, after dinner you would settle by the fire and you tell Christmas tales with Graham while the three others were sitting crossed legged and listening to you, the little ones snuggled against their uncle. And then, all together you would watch Disney Christmas cartoons, there was nothing better to relax and dream of the wonderful gifts you would get tomorrow. After putting your nephews to bed, you and Merill would sleep back in his old room, reminding you of good memories, when you had started dating and your first time making love with him, it was very nice to spend Christmas here and you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
 -        The next morning, you would be awakened by your nephews, running in the corridor and shouting that Santa had come and that many gifts were waiting to be unwrapped. You chuckled, thinking of Graham who had waited for them to be asleep to put the gifts underneath the tree. You wouldn’t take breakfast first, they were too impatient, and they didn’t seem very hungry, preferring to test their gifts together, including Merill with his sled, he could finally compete with his nephews as the big child he could be. But before you would convince them to eat their giant breakfast so they could play for hours in the snow.
Freddie Quell 
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-        It’s not that Freddie didn’t like Christmas, but he never celebrated it in a normal way, from his terrible childhood to Christmas in the army which was mostly a lot of drinking and sex. So, in a way, this would be his first real Christmas, with you and his family-in-law.
 -        He would let you completely guide him through Christmas eve and day. He was a bit grumpy at first because he was frustrated; he wanted to fit in and understand how to do things right. He wanted you to be happy with your man.
 -        So, it would be best if you spent Christmas eve, just the two of you; Take baby steps with Freddie and tomorrow spend Christmas with your family where he would have to bear the shitty jokes of your uncle. You would take him outside to walk hands in hands a look at the store fronts especially decorated for Christmas, just to show him the colors and decorations, the joy of the adults and children looking at it, in short introduce him to the Christmas atmosphere. You wouldn’t stay for too long because you knew he couldn’t stand still and had a limited patience but still, you were pleasantly surprised by how calm he was, a boyish smile forming on his lips sometimes, it was great step forward and you were eager to spend this day with him.  
 -        He would be the first to suggest going inside the shops and buy a few decorations for your house. Though, once inside he would be a bit overwhelmed by the crowd but also the crazy choice there was. He wouldn’t let go of your hand as you took him through the various alleys, he would be rather undecided about the color to pick, so you went for blue and gold, and he help you to pick up the shape and designs of the garlands and bulbs. And he was happy to carry out all the bags.  
 -        “Do you need to go to another shop for a gift?” you asked him once outside of that shop “No, I actually have it already.” He replied looking away, he had his gifts for you for a while because he had taken great care to choose something that would fit, he had gotten you a dress and expensive perfume. You would look at him excitedly, the way he took care of you was always very attractive to you “Well, Mister Quell if you could wait for me in the car, I have one more thing to buy…” your murmured giving him a sensual kiss on the lips, he would chuckle already knowing how it would end once at home but also happy that you were about to buy his gift, a nice kit to make cocktails and expensive alcohol that he would savor with you, reasonably.  
 -        You would stay home, you thought he would want to go to the restaurant but actually he preferred to be alone with you and have no distractions. You would decorate the house together, while he actually sang the Christmas songs everyone sang on the vessel, it was joyful songs and it was nice hear Freddie sing, it was an aspect of him you encouraged to come out. And while he finished decorating you cooked the fabulous dinner you would share, and which remained classic. Though soon you would feel his arms wrap around your waist and his lips tracing kisses along you neck; he couldn’t help it, whatever you did, you were sexy.
 -        Freddie was an unpredictable man and full of surprises. When you thought you would spend the evening in his arms at home, he would actually take you to the rooftop of a building and you didn’t understand why until a firework started and he had brought you where you would have the best view on it. Your eyes were shining all along and you snuggled in Freddie’s arms as you watch the show with him. And you would conclude the night by making love there, at the risk of getting a cold, but you didn’t care. In the end, it was Freddie who guided you through an amazing Christmas.
Ray Elwood
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-        Ray wouldn’t get a long permission for Christmas holidays, but at least he got a few days because you two were engaged. He was excited to spend Christmas outside of the base and with you, he had missed you so much, so much time away from you, only able to write to you or call you without being able to see you or hold you in his arms; he had missed you terribly and that was more important to him than celebrating Christmas.
 -        When you reached Germany, you had no idea of how your holidays with Ray would go, it was your first time in Europe and he had given you absolutely no indications of the program, if there was one. And that’s because he had a big surprise for you. You don’t know how much time it lasted when you embraced each other at the airport but to feel his warmth, his scent wrapped around you, his lips on yours, it was the best Christmas gift you could ever receive. After that, he would bring you to the base to introduce you to his friends and also to his boss, who had become a friend in a way, but a friend he also used to do his little business. After, he hadn’t been sent here for nothing but what could you do? You couldn’t stop loving him, and as far as you knew, he didn’t kill anyone, so that was good.
 -        And he would be really proud to show his beautiful fiancée to everyone, showing that you were real and a real knockout who was engaged to him. And his buddies were really nice and fun, they made you feel comfortable in this place full of men. However, once you two were alone again, he took out of his jacket two plane tickets for Paris “Spoiler alert, that’s your Christmas gift, a couple of days together in Paris.” He revealed to you, he had more than enough money for it and he wanted to spoil you, and he knew Paris was one of your dreams. You would be speechless, what a wonderful surprise “I prefer to tell you that my gift won’t be so crazy.” You chuckled, your eyes wet with emotion “Don’t worry baby, you are my gift.” He would reassure you, filling your face with kisses.
 -        And once in Paris, you realized Ray had really gone crazy, a superb hotel room, already decorated and even with Christmas tree in it, and gifts from the hotel like chocolates and perfumes. Though, you didn’t visit the city first, as soon as the door of the bedroom was closed and that the effect of surprise had passed, you literally jumped on Ray, the both ending making love passionately, again and again until you were satisfied, actually it didn’t change much from previous Christmas, there was always a lot of sex involved, for your greatest pleasure.
 -        And to make up for lost time, Ray would have the great idea to book a table on a barge on the Seine, it would enable the both of you to see the most beautiful monuments of the city, beautifully lit during the night and while you ate a typical French Christmas dinner and of course with great wine and champagne.
 -        After dinner, you would get off the boat and go watch the beautiful and famous store fronts of the Gallerie Lafayette incredibly decorated for Christmas, Paris was just amazingly decorated and the Christmas atmosphere was very present, it was perfect. Then, you would manage to convince Ray to go Ice skating with you, and after a few kisses and puppy eyes, he wouldn’t be able to resist and would just agree. The truth is that he was really bad at it and fell all the time on his behind, you were pretty much the same, but that’s where the fun was, trying to skate decently without falling. And the both of you would end up laughing a lot, clinging onto each other and ending up falling on each other.  
 -        The day had been exhausting but worth it, it was the best Christmas holidays you ever had, and it was only starting, you still had a few days more with your fiancée. And despite exhaustion you would make love again, the Christmas atmosphere in the bedroom making it even more magical. And Ray had to admit that it really gave him the Christmas spirit and with you he was really enjoying this celebration.  And even more so when he woke up the next morning and found underneath the Christmas tree a gift for him, he picked it up and went back in the bed to open it next to you. It wasn’t something big and flashy but it had more value to his eyes, you had made a photo album of you and him, all the pictures you took together since you were together and at the end of it you had included sexy pictures of you that you had made just for him; he would have a big smile, he was loving Christmas.
Also you my dear readers, tell me with which of these characters you would prefer to celebrate Christmas with!!
Tag list: @hopelessdisasterr @skaravile @lyoongx @weirdflecksbutok @beautifulyoungprospect @stellargirlie @rosebloodstuffandthangss @clowndaddyfleck @jaylovesbats @niniitah-ah @dreamingmaria @sagyunaro @just-a-fucking-comedy @spaceinvader @radio-hoo-ha @lady-carnivals-stuff @sierraclegane @legojorny @lemondedeniname @hvproductions @syvellsworld @charlie-sisters @papercut-paranoia @jokerflecker @cigznvalentines @help-i-am-obssessed @arthurfleckjoker2019 @theartistdetective @soulsdontbreaktheybeeend @fleckcmscott @obssessedandthirsty @ridiculousnerd @stardancerluv @sgtsavoytruffle @welcometomyhiddlesfandom @sanguinandoscrivo @valentina15 @phoenixbaby88 @captain-el-writes @thedamchii @ninathefandomcollector @kiddastle @lovesickforjoaqvin @joaquins-angel @alexsportello @ohcarlesmycarles @rajacero @bring-your-holy-water   @rajacero @morrisonmercuryphoenix @fly-like-a-phoenix @the-joaq-is-extra
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themilky-way · 4 years
Text
like water {din djarin}
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gif credit: no-droids
pairing: the mandalorian/din djarin x fem!reader
summary: when the one person he cares about is threatened, he lets himself indulge in the aftermath of defending them. 
warnings: some violence in the beginning, choking (not in the fun way), depictions of scratches, punches, and minor abrasions; the reader is hurt basically. oh and mando’s gun bc yeah❤️umm that’s it i think? nothing too horrible tho but if this thing triggers you, please don’t read !!
author’s note: not to be conceited or anything (is that even the right word for it lol?) but im super proud of how this turned out! requests are open btw for anyone who wishes to submit anything (if unsure, just ask which fandoms)!
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cyar’ika-> darling, sweetheart
nothing in that exact moment had made much sense. one minute the most precious thing to ever exist to him was snatched away, and the next his hands were gripping the treasure beneath his holster. his knuckles were lily-white at this point, holding the gun as hard as his body would allow him to without crushing underneath him, and the urge to cock it made him visibly shake. he’d been given a command, and out of all the merciless men in the filthy galaxy, he needed to follow it, so his weapon of preference stayed where it needed to. 
the meager specks of emotion that still lived within him betrayed his prominent composure, the view in front of him blocked by the sudden glaze of his eyes. the small drops of saltwater puddled together in his now hazy orbs, holding on until it was nearly impossible to stay put and then rivered down his cheeks. the cause? well, you.
you were filling up the mandalorian’s line of vision, his eyes darting between you and the bounty that had gone wrong. an alienated hand was wrapped around your innocent throat, your feeble hands wrapped around its wrist in a dumb attempt to break free. the ground you were roaming on before appeared to be never ending, and in the same way, the darkened sky absorbed you whole. vertigo was now in full effect; any quick movement caused you to shut your eyes tightly and hope to the maker you’d get through it. it took a few seconds for you to regain your balance, a sharp pain pinging around your neck forcing you to find it. you half expected to be back on the mud again, to have the man you had spent the past year flying around with pulling you to safety. instead, you found din frozen in place, an instinctive action rooted in the steel handle of his pistol. he wasn’t moving, too scared to blink as if you’d disappear if he did. 
perhaps you were; someone like you seemed too good to be true. in all actuality, it may be that you were a fever dream, a celestial that had come down from the sanctity of your home to finally rescue him from his burdens. amidst his frantic glances, he reminisced every second he’d spent with you since your unforeseen arrival, and that somehow worked for him. the gears in his brain started to turn again, and with every ounce of his strength, he pounced on the quarry and did what he should’ve done the instant you were taken from him. anger took over his worry, the effects illustrating themselves in a collage of mitted fists and blood. the pistol residing on din’s waist was useless compared to his hits; the softened position of his jawbone was locked firmly as a result of his gritted teeth and he was going to need more than your delicate hand on his shoulders to ground his senses. 
the mandalorian never expected to succumb to anyone, nor to feel remotely joyful upon hearing someone’s laugh. the idea of kindling a relationship was ludicrous, utterly impossible if only he weren’t bound to the chains of his creed. oftentimes, he wondered if someone would one day traverse his path and make him question every moral he’d been taught. din had dismissed the thought, as any other member of his intricate society would have, but the wondrous insight depicting a different lifestyle always lingered faintly in his mind. 
today, the very same visions behind his recurrent insomnia framed themselves in a frail art piece. din’s focus laid directly ahead, the fingers navigating the center controls as tight as they’d been on his gun. his eyes deserved to rest, perhaps take in the splashes of color nature was offering him, but he landed them on the same lovely sculpture adorning his cockpit. 
you were seated in the chair adjacent from the pilot’s, with your knees closely tucked to your chest. one large scrape designed itself on your leg-a dull reminder of the ordeal you were involved in hours earlier-with flakes of arid blood protecting the wound. bouncing off the skin of your throat were shades of red and purple, now properly mixing into a deeper complexion that’d require you to hide it for some time. besides the scattered nicks living on your face, and the other couple dozen on your arms and legs, the outcome wasn’t as terrible as the one your attacker received. it was a rule of thumb to not mess with a mandalorian, much less with the pretty little lady clutching his arm as if it were second nature. the foolest of fools wouldn’t even have done such a foul thing, and this particular creature came to know the punishment for harming what wasn’t rightfully his. 
it truly amazed him; the way you seemed to be so unphased by a traumatic circumstance. the woman beside him-the same one who couldn’t sleep unless a window was open-had endured pain, and the marks on her skin proved themselves in jagged indications of it. through the darkened screen of his visor, din could make out your hands neatly intertwined around your folded knees, your chin simultaneously resting on top. you’d been as observant as you always were, hardly missing his actions as he navigated his newfound family to a safe stop. sure, you were unaware of the loving term he considered of you and the baby, but it didn’t hurt to keep it a secret, right?
“hey.” it came out more hoarse than he intended it to, but the emotion behind it flowed out nonetheless. “you okay?”
not really. i don’t feel good. it was easy to say exactly that, to speak the truth, but it was even easier to lie. for the sake of his own worry, at most. your eyes were still glued to his armor, taking in the rough outline of where you imagined his skin would be underneath, or moreso the abstract idea of feeling it with your hands. reflections of your yearning came and went like the mandalorian’s missions, almost impulsively at times, and the curious, teasing tilts his helmet would bid you only encouraged that craving. much like now; the black “T” of his expressionless face leaned to the side, asking you to earnestly respond. “mm, yeah. ‘m kinda tired, though,” you mumbled.
you threw him a lie and he caught it. “don’t lie to me.” din swiveled his chair to accordingly match the peripheral of yours, his elbows coming to rest on top of his beskar-clad legs. “can you look at me?” he inquired softly. then, his intent fell on the slow shift of your head and how it turned to face him, your cheek settling on your unscathed knee. a breath fell from his lips at the doting admiration swimming in your stare. “there she is,” he confirmed with an upward curl of his lips. “is there anything i can do?” it was sincere; a genuine concern to accompany his question. you hummed in response, fearful to accidentally voice the confessions you hid from him. you blinked once, twice, until his question became a plea. “please, cyar’ika.”
reasonably, you were too busy exploring the shape of his helmet, permitting your creative imagination to paint images of the man next to you; so when your ears perceived his sudden name of endearment, there was nothing amongst the stars that you could’ve possibly denied him from. “you’ve never called me that before,” you smiled, all big and brilliant. 
“i’ve wanted to,” the man replied. what resembled ages of pent up stress released with a few curated words. his muscles relaxed, something he never believed to be attainable given his vigorous profession. “god, i’ve wanted to.” 
he followed it with a humble laugh. a sound so familiar and warm, so genuine that it empowered your grin to spread higher. “by all means, keep saying it.” now it was your turn to nervously giggle, and him who embraced the noise with everything he could. a mutual infatuation, so wonderfully obvious, yet it was refused acknowledgment. “i think there is something you can do, though.” silence advised you to continue, “can i sleep with you tonight?” 
the misguided pieces of your minds’, maybe even your souls’, reattached themselves that very same night. as the both of you slept, hands, calloused and smooth, intimately merged against the cushions of the warrior’s bed. tender kisses planted to your forehead left electricity in their wake, and the dark ambiance of his dwelling favored the entanglement of your tired bodies. 
“i wish i could see you, din,” you sighed. the manner in which it was expressed, full of sleep and everything akin, urged him to lift your weightless wrist to his lips. 
“you’ll get to one day, cyar’ika. for now just let me hold you, yeah?”
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nowoyas · 4 years
Note
Can you do a fic about reader getting nightmares almost every night, and needed cuddles with Midoriya? (my english is quite bad so yeah) You can decline this request if you want to :3
A/N: oh my god I finally wrote something shorter than 1000 words
Safe
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Summary: Izuku is your home. In his arms, no nightmare can catch you.
Warnings: none! Just some pure sweet fluff
Words: 900+
~
You jolt awake with a gasp, hot tears already on your cheeks. Another fucking nightmare, you mentally groan. You'd love to roll over and go back to sleep, really, you would, you're exhausted, but if the past few months are anything to go by, that's not going to work.
With a huff, you blindly reach for your nightstand, hoping that maybe without any light you'll still be able to find your phone in the dark. You let out a small noise of victory (followed by a sniffle) when your hand closes over the smooth rectangle. There's really only one thing you can think of to do, other than lay there, cry it out, and be utterly exhausted again tomorrow.
Sleepy Bitch Disease to Izuzuzuzuzu at 2:34AM
Sleepy Bitch Disease: Izuku?
Sleepy Bitch Disease: I know it's a long shot, but are you awake?
You yelp and nearly drop your phone when it begins to vibrate in your hand, Izuku's contact picture blowing up on your screen. When it rings long enough to be clear it wasn't an accident (you don't think, at least), you press the "answer call" button and sit up in your bed. 
"Hey," you whisper, voice cracking.
"You're crying," his voice answers after a moment. "Do you need me to come over there?"
You nod pathetically before remembering he can't see you. "Please," you whimper. 
"Give me a moment to get dressed and I'll be right over, okay?" he says, voice soft and calming and ever the reminder that the world does not deserve your wonderful boyfriend.
"Okay. My door's unlocked."
"Alright. I'll talk to you in no more than five minutes, love."
He's there in three. The vestiges of his quirk spark around him as he carefully opens your door, small shocks of green lighting up his body and face as he searches the room for you.
In the meantime while you waited, you tried to focus on your breathing and ended up curling up on your bed with your legs pulled up to your chest. You can't see the expression on his face, not in this lighting, but if you know Izuku, he's heartbroken at the few errant sniffles that escape you. He carefully closes the door behind him, and then navigates the room through the dark to sit on the edge of your bed carefully.
"Everything alright?" he asks, a rough hand smoothing over your forearm tentatively. 
To nod would be a lie, and one he'd know before you even told it. You simply lift your head and hold your arms out, a silent request for a hug that he's more than happy to give. He shifts on the bed and pulls you into his lap effortlessly.
The warmth of him, the comfort of proximity, is far too much for you, having already been trying so hard not to cry too much. You break–first, a few shaky sniffles, then your face is buried in his chest as you begin to cry all over again.
Izuku has the patience of a saint. He slowly strokes your hair, holds you close, mutters calming words into your hair as he kisses the top of your head, all until you're calm again. When the tears have subsided and you're tired out, you rest your cheek against his chest.
"S-sorry," you mumble. "You were probably trying to sleep."
"I wasn't," he replies easily, "and you don't need to apologize for needing help. You know I l-love you and would drop everything for you, right?"
Were you in a better mood, you might have teased him for still stuttering when he says "I love you", but as it stands, all you can manage is a soft chuckle. "I love you too, Izu. Sorry to have bothered you."
"[Name]..." he chides softly. "Stop apologizing."
"So–shit, wait." A wet laugh tears itself from your throat. "It's selfish, but can I... Can you... Um..."
"Hm?"
"Would it be alright if you stayed with me a little while?" you manage to say, snuggling into his chest even further. "I-I can talk to you about what upset me in the morning, but right now, I just... I need to feel safe. I think I can do that if it's... If you're with me."
Izuku's grip tightens around you as he tries not to cry at your admission. "I-I..." He pauses, reaching one hand up to wipe his eyes before he cries on you. "Yes, of course."
"Thank you," you mumble, cutting yourself off with a yawn. "Cuddle me to sleep?"
"I'd love to," he says softly, carefully maneuvering both of you to lay down.
When you wake up, snug in his arms, you almost cry all over again at the realization that you're waking up naturally. A Sunday morning, no alarms, no nightmares, not even a loud neighbor to wake you. Just a peaceful morning, snuggled up to your boyfriend.
Izuku wakes up that morning to a tearful, joyful kiss. You apologize in between giggles, brushing your nose against his as you thank him for a refreshing sleep.
"Good morning, hun," he mumbles, still half asleep as he watches you speak. "Love you."
"Love you too." You snuggle back into his hold carefully. "I'll let you sleep now."
"You get some rest, too," he says sleepily. "You've been so tired lately..." A cute yawn escapes him.
"Not a problem," you say. The morning light filters through your window, but you have all day today. You can stand a few more minutes of feeling safe.
Taglist: @zylith-imagines-and-fics @tooloudarts @sapid-rose @xxanglepridexx @birds-have-teeth @icythotsenpai @hypercriticals @warmchoccymilk @wesparklebitch @izoodles
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insomniousluci · 5 years
Text
Power Trip
-Asmo shows his new toys to MC (f) and they decide to give them a try together-
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Art by @ Beelstan101 on Twitter!
I sighed as I walked down the long hall of the dorms. Class seemed to drag on extra long today, and I knew I still had a busy day ahead of me. Luckily I had a few free hours before I was supposed to meet up with Lucifer. He liked to have me come by every couple of weeks to update him on my stay in the Devildom so that he could report back to Diavolo. I decided I’d use what little time I had to take a nap.
As I made my way down the hall, the door to my bedroom came into view, and I picked up the pace, ready to sit down after a long day of walking around RAD. Suddenly I heard a door behind me swing open and before I could turn around, someone grabbed me by the wrist and jerked me backwards.
“Hey! What the—“
“Come here!” Said a sweet, sing-songy voice. It was Asmodeus. He pulled me into his bedroom and closed the door behind me.
“Asmo! You can’t just grab people like that.” I scolded him, rubbing my wrist. “At least you don’t have to be so damn rough.”
“I have something to show you!” He chirped, totally ignoring what I’d said. He walked over to his bed and picked up a pink shopping bag, turning it over to dump out the contents. All kinds of things fell out onto the mattress, and by things, I mean sex toys.
“Wow. Where’d you get all that?” I asked. I may have been surprised had someone like Levi or Beel shown me this collection of items, but this was Asmo, so I really wasn’t shocked.
“I found a cute little shop downtown! There were so many fun things I wanted to buy, but I have to save some of my money for clothes, you know. So I just got the stuff I thought you’d like the most!”
“Me?!” Now I was surprised. I couldn’t tell if I was blushing but judging by the heat I felt on my face I’m sure I had turned some kind of strange color.
“Yes! Wasn’t that sweet of me?” Asmo turned around, beaming from ear to ear. He held up a very large dildo and waved it around proudly.
“Put that thing down you maniac!” I took it from him and tossed it back onto the bed. It bounced a few times and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of it. “God, what made you think I’d want a thing like that?”
“What? You don’t like it? I thought for sure you’d love it, if not just for the sheer size of it, I mean look—“
“Yes I get it it’s big!” I looked down at the floor in embarrassment. “I guess I hadn’t given much thought to something like that...you know...I guess I’m fine with just having the real thing...”
“Oooh! You naughty girl!” Asmo giggled. I laughed too, to keep from melting into a puddle of shame. “I think I have something you’ll actually like, though. Here, have a seat and close your eyes.”
“Asmo I—“
“Ah ah ah! Come on don’t be a prude!” He wagged a finger at me. I sighed and followed his orders, hopping onto his soft bed and closing my eyes. I heard him rustling some packaging around, followed by a loud buzzing sound.
“Asmo!” I shouted. Although I was yelling at him, I still had my eyes closed. The thought of testing out some of these toys with him was a little arousing, even if I’d never admit it out loud. He stepped toward me and the noise grew louder. I felt his warm hand on my thigh as he pushed my legs apart. Suddenly I felt the rapid vibrations over my panties. “I picked a hell of a day to wear a dress...” I thought to myself as I began to shiver from the feeling of the toy against my crotch.
“Oh it looks like you do enjoy it! Good.” The first part of the sentence was said in Asmo’s normal, cutesy voice, but the last word was spoken with much more devilish intentions. He began to move the vibrator around in circles and my legs involuntarily snapped shut. I bit down on my lip hard to contain my moans. I wasn’t going to give him what he wanted that easy. He pulled my panties down and pushed me onto my back. I finally opened my eyes and saw him climbing on top of me. He placed the vibrator directly on my clit and I tensed up again, breathing in sharply and exhaling with a whimper. I tried not to squirm too much, but the pleasure was so intense I felt it throughout my whole body.
“If you like that, you’re going to absolutely love this!” He stuck his tongue out at me. “I bet you didn’t know I had my tongue pierced!” He pointed to his tongue. Not only was it pierced, but he wasn’t wearing any ordinary jewelry. He was wearing something I had only ever heard rumors about— a vibrating tongue ring. Before I could protest he pushed my legs up toward my chest and began licking me, first around the outside before teasing my sensitive clit. He flicked his tongue against it and I let out a loud groan. The intense vibration mixed with the warm and wet sensation of his tongue felt like heaven. I grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled it, and that only got him more excited. He pressed the toy firmly into my clit and held it there. I moaned and arched my back, trying not to orgasm right then and there. But Asmo was determined. He slipped a finger inside me and began rubbing me deep inside, moving his tongue in slow circles on my clit.
“Oh...! Asmo! Ahh I—“ I couldn’t even finish my thought before I began to orgasm, my toes curling up as I felt the wave of ecstasy overtake every inch of me. Asmo smiled up at me as I caught my breath.
“Oh you’re so perfect! I’m so glad you had fun!” He kissed my thigh and rubbed it gently. I tossled his hair and smiled. Crawling back up beside me, he placed a hand on my cheek and rubbed my face with his thumb. “Since you were so good, I’ll let you pick whatever you want to play with next!”
“Asmo I don’t—“
He looked at me angrily, a scowl overtaking his handsome face. He really was such a brat.
“Ugh, fine.” I looked at the array of different toys strewn across the bed. Handcuffs? Boring. Ball gag? Nah, I liked dirty talk too much. Some of the stuff was so foreign looking I couldn’t even begin to imagine what is was meant to be used for. But then it caught my eye, the perfect way to punish Asmo for his bad attitude. I reached out and grabbed it, a large strap on. Holding it in my hands, I turned back to Asmo, awaiting his reaction.
To my surprise, his cheeks became a little pink. But he also had the most joyful grin on his face.
“Oh wow! I knew you were a bad girl but I didn’t think you’d go for that. But I’m so happy! The one thing I haven’t tried before!” He giggled and took the toy from my hands, holding it up to study it.
“What? The Avatar of Lust has never been pegged?” I laughed at the absurdity of it all. I snatched the thing back from him and grabbed his wrist, overcome with the desire to make him squirm the same way he’d done to me. His eyes widened in surprise as I pulled him by the wrist onto his back and got on top of him, holding him down with my knee on his chest. He gave me a devilish smirk and reached up to touch me, but I pushed his hand away. I pulled my dress over my head and then went to work undressing him, unbuttoning his shirt and pulling off his pants quickly, my excitement growing every second. I fiddled with the strap until it was on correctly and I made sure it was on nice and tight. Overcome with power, I spread Asmo’s legs and started grinding against him over his underwear. His cheeks were fully flushed now, but his eyes were glazed over with lust.
“What are you going to do to me?” He asked, biting his lip. His hands ran down his own body. He was so eager to be touching or feeling something, whether it be me or himself.
“I’m going to fuck you, Asmo. I’m going to punish you for being such a naughty boy.” My own words ignited a fire in my chest and I couldn’t wait any longer. I pulled his underwear off and pushed his legs upward, so turned on by the view. I spread his legs until I could see everything, his perfect cock, and his tight asshole. I went down and licked his cock all over, taking a moment to circle my tongue around the head and suck on it lightly. But I quickly moved on to my next destination, pressing my tongue against his adorable little asshole and licking all around it. Asmo gasped and let out a small but seductive moan as I teased his hole with my tongue. I looked up at him as I pushed my tongue against it, just barely managing to slip it inside. I moved it around in circles, exploring his warm and wet insides. He moaned louder, struggling to lay still as he became more and more excited.
I came back up again and looked around until I found a bottle of lube that Asmo had purchased a long with the rest of his haul. I squirted a generous amount onto my hand and started to stroke my new cock. Just the sight of it made me feel more powerful. I squirted out a little more lube onto my fingers and slowly pushed two of them inside Asmo, making sure to get him ready to take me. He squeaked a little as my fingers went in, and as I removed them I began to press the tip of the strap on against his hole. He looked at me with a depraved and desperate expression.
“Are you going to fuck me hard?” He asked, his voice was so sweet it almost made his words seem less sinful.
“Oh yes...I’m going to fuck you until you’re screaming for me.” I replied, starting to slide the head of the cock into him. He was already giving me soft moans before I was even all the way in. I gave a slow but firm thrust and the cock went deeper, causing a much louder groan from Asmo. I began to move my hips in and out, watching as I inched deeper inside with each motion.
“Faster...” Asmo pleaded between heavy breaths. I fulfilled his wish, picking up the speed with my thrusts. Asmo’s mouth was open, as he was moaning and panting. It looked like the perfect place for my fingers. I pushed two of them into his mouth and he immediately started sucking, looking into my eyes as he did.
“Fuck...so hot...” I said under my breath, shoving into him harder and harder.
“Mmm..!” Was the only sound Asmo could make as he sucked on my fingers and took the pounding I was giving him. I took my fingers out of his mouth then, hungry for more of his sweet noises. I leaned in close to him, giving me more leverage to really speed up my thrusts, and I rammed his ass quickly and mercilessly as I sucked on his neck, leaving a bright red mark.
“Ahhnn...more! Don’t stop!” He whined, squirming underneath me. I was happy to follow his command, but I wanted to switch things up. I pulled out for a moment, and swiftly flipped Asmo onto his stomach. I pulled him up by the hips and shoved my cock back inside of him roughly, continuing to fuck him hard. A loud moan escaped from him each time my hips crashed into him from behind. I grabbed his ass with one hand, digging my nails into him a little, just enough to let him know I was in control. With my other hand I reached down and began to stroke his hard, throbbing cock.
“You like that Asmo? You like it when I fuck you and play with your cock?” I teased him as I rammed my strap on into his tight ass again and again.
“Yes! Ahh..yes! Oh I...I’m gonna cum! Please don’t stop!” He begged, barely able to speak between his submissive groans. I continued to fuck him as hard as I could, giving his cock a firm squeeze as I rubbed the length of it, and then massaged the head. He was finally sent over the edge, and he shouted out in pleasure as he came, making a sticky mess all over my hand and the sheets below. I slowly pulled out of him and he collapsed onto his stomach before rolling back over onto his back. He smiled up at me, and the starving look in his eyes settled into a satisfied one.
We lay on the bed, Asmo clutching me tightly to his chest. He played with my hair and kissed all over my face.
“That was sooo fun! I can’t wait to do it again, and plus there’s still all those toys we haven’t tried yet! Now that I know what you like we can...”
As Asmo rambled on I caught sight of the clock on his wall behind him and gasped in horror, jumping out of bed quickly.
“Shit!” I cursed under my breath.
“Huh? What’s the matter with you? Where are you going? Don’t leave me, I’m not done with you yet!” Asmo pouted as I raced to get dressed.
“I’m late for my meeting with Lucifer. Dammit, Asmo. If I get in trouble it’s your fault!” I scolded him as I attempted to quickly fix my hair in the mirror.
“That’s okay, causing trouble is what I do, after all!” He giggled.
“Yeah whatever, you demon. Listen don’t come knocking on my door tonight, or tomorrow. I’m very busy and I can’t be held up like this again. I have to focus and—“
“If you keep talking you’ll never get there, silly.” He was mocking me now. I didn’t even bother responding and I quickly ran out the door. I knew I would be thinking about what had just happened for the rest of the night, if not the rest of the week.
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The fate of a nun (Finan xOFC); part 4
GENERAL A/N: Hi there! This story is my first attempt to write a fanfiction. English is not my first language, so feel free to let me know how to improve my writing/language skills 😊 I will try and post a chapter per week, let’s see how it goes! The story takes place in season 3 and you will notice that I have used some of the sequences and dialogues from the tv series, changing them to include my OC. I did try not to be too colloquial and informal with my writing -giving the time of the story- but I preferred to make it more enjoyable than realistic, same goes for Finan’s accent.
I’m nervous and excited to share my work, hope you enjoy! Bacini, Cate.
A/N:Hi there, sorry I didn’t post last week, classes are killing me! Finan is a lil dick here, but Aoife is developing in such a great woman, I love her. Hope you enjoyyyy. Baciotti, Cate.
Summary: The life of the young novice Aoife completely changes when the Lady of Mercia arrives to the Abbey of Wincelcumb. Oaths, battles and love will turn her in a warrior.
General warnings: Violence, Blood, Strong Language, Smut, Fluff, Graphic description of violence
Chapter’s warning: Angst, strong language and I think that’s it? Let me know if you think there’s more! Words: 3426 Chapter Three.
Chapter Four: Iron and Water
Finan’s sadness had soon turned into anger and he was now spending most of the day striking the air with his sword. The rest of his time was spent drinking in the alehouse. He was looking, to put it in the kindest way possible, miserable. His hair and beard had grown out of control and it looked like he hadn’t washed since the Dane had left. His vest was stained with ale and food, and all the women, that once had fought for his attention, were keeping their distance. Aoife hadn’t spoken with him after the day Sithric had left, and the violent beating of her heart while he held her hand was just a pale memory. The day after, he couldn’t even watch her in the eyes, and she had felt ashamed of her weakness, and a fool for letting it affect her as it was. She had just consoled him, that was it. She could not hide, however, that she already missed his quick remarks and the small yet joyful smile he reserved to her. And even more than that, she was concerned with his health – all that ale could not be good for anyone – and angry with him for failing to comply what Uthred had asked him to do: protect the Lady of Mercia. A person cannot feel all those emotions and remain sane, of course, and she was spending her nights laying in bed sleepless. Days were passing by and Finan was looking worse and worse, often drunk, cranky and lonely constantly. Aoife was spending her time assisting either Osferth or Aethelflaed and their combined insistence had persuaded her to deal with the warrior. She had expressed her desire to improve her fighting skills and they had affirmed more than once that no one could help her better than Finan. They could not care less about her abilities with the sword, they just wanted the two to spend more time together, they were shamelessly hoping for them to be a couple. “No one can teach better than him. If I know how to use a sword is all thanks to him.” Osferth said out one morning, while him, Aoife and Aethelflaed were eating in the hall. It was a weirdly domestic picture. They had, somehow, become a group of some sort and Aoife was happy and proud of Aethelflaed, threating her stepbrother not only with respect but also as a friend. It eased her mind. “You almost died in the last battle.” Aoife pointed out. “But I did not, did I?” “Also, he needs to take his mind off Sithric.” the Lady interrupted, she knew they could go on for hours without her intervention; she wanted to be clear with her, sure that it was the only way to convince her. Also, she was fearing for the warrior sanity, she had grown fond of him with time, and she could not think of a better way to help him and, as a consequence, help Uthred “And you are the only one he might listen to.” “And if not, you will force him to.” Minutes later, Aoife was walking down to the alehouse, weapons swinging around her waist. She loved the weight of the iron against her tights, it sent shivers down her spine for the excitement. It wasn’t hard to find Finan. He was drunk of course, passed out on the table. The maid of the alehouse was watching him, half in pity and half in disgust. Aoife could not blame her, she too felt the bile to the throat when she walked close enough to smell him. Really, it was disgusting, but it was also pitiful. She was surprise by how much the situation had affected him, never would she have imagined for a warrior to feel so deeply about any kind of situation. Somehow, it made her fonder of him. The maid noticed Aoife and smiled at her “You’re here to take care of him?” “I mean, I’ll try!” Aoife answered with a laugh and the girl giggled, stepping aside gracefully to let her sit in front of Finan. The warrior had fallen asleep soundly with his cheek against the table and his mouth agape. She huffed heavily and grabbed the almost empty jug of ale. The cold woke him up abruptly. He grasped for air, waving his arms trying to grab something and his fingers closed around nothing. He felt backward, overturning the bench in the process. “Sweet Jesus Christ!” he shouted, all wet in beer. The maid was laughing and, while she too found the scene particularly amusing, Aoife could not help but watch him in disgust, leaning against the back of the chair with her arms crossed. He stood up with difficulty, spatting and cursing ì and stumping his feet like a child, grunting for minutes. “You done? My patience is running thin.” Aoife said, no emotion in her voice. The Irishman watched her in disbelief, sitting down with a thud “Leave me alone, woman.” he croaked, head in hands, he clearly did not feel like talking. She huffed again, angry with that man who had let go of his life so easily; she stood up and, grabbing him by the hair, pulled his head backwards to make him look at her. “Stop being an arseling. Uthred had asked you to look after the Lady and you have done nothing but drink and cry over yourself. You will sober up and clean and stop being such a little boy. Have I been clear?” He looked at her, initially speechless, then a vein popped up on his neck and he put his fist through the table “You don’t know what it means to spend every day with a person only for them to leave you forever.” The maid run away, scared of a possible scuffle, but Aoife didn’t even notice her. She was seeing red and she would gladly put his head through the wood next to his fist. However, she prayed God to give her patience, she tightened her arms against her chest and sat back, straighter than before. “The woman who raised me was struck by a spear in front of my eyes.” She replied coldly “I can imagine the pain.” Finan finally watched her and at least he had the decency to look mortified, Aoife was ashamed, she did not want him to pity her. She did not want no one to pity her. “I apologise, lady” he grunted quietly, and she knew that he could see that her eyes had watered. She couldn’t stand it and gestured him to just let it go. “Listen, I’m not here to compete on who’s the most miserable. I need your help.” *** He had unwillingly followed her to the stream. His head was throbbing, his entire body hurting, and he just wanted to sleep. However, Aoife had other plans and pushed him in the cold water with all his clothes on. Partly it was to sober him up, partly because his smell was unbearable and partly because she was still angry with him and it was the most Christian think to do to avoid killing him with her bare hands. It was a shock for his body, and he felt like drowning for the first few moments, but when his mind started clearing up, he stood up easily, yet shivering. He felt like a fool. It was winter, after all, and it was a miracle that the surface of the stream had not frozen yet. It would soon, though, Finan could tell. Aoife was on the bank, arms crossed and that obnoxious angry expression on her pretty face, she did crack a smile, however, when he stumbled on his feet, trying to get out of the water and felt face first. “Do not laugh at me, woman.” he growled, but he was happy to please her “It’s bloody freezing”.” “Wash yourself out, warrior.” she shouted, now laughing openly  “I shall come back with some clean clothes.” And as fast as she talked, she left. Finan watched her walking away, taking her time doing so, and even if he was shivering, he stood still, admiring her young body moving so sweetly. Unholy thoughts filled his mind, and he groaned, ashamed and drunk, and fell again under the water. She had to ask Osferth for help in looking for Finan’s clothes. When the monk closed the door of the Irishman’s room on her face, she rolled her eyes and pouted, she was looking forward to take a peek of his private life and his belongings and her friend was playing with her. Osferth was soon out with an armful of clothes and she thanks him, already running back to the river, not wanting Finan to freeze in the water. When she saw him, however, she halted suddenly. He had stripped down and was facing away from her, his naked body in full display. He was too far for her to have a good look at his back, which even from distance seemed muscly and sprinkled with scars. He had the broadest shoulders she had ever seen and only then she came to the realization that she had never seen a naked man before. God knew she was enjoying the view and He could easily read the unholy instincts she was drawn to. Anyone could guess them, just looking at her face. She knew she was sinning, but she could not push herself to care about it; again, she would renounce to heaven for Finan without hesitation. If it did not show how weak her will was, she could not imagine what would. Then he turned around and she completely forgot about her sins and will. The water was covering him just above his hips, his flat stomach and tonic chest in full display for her delight. She had never wanted anything more than to run her fingers on his skin and savour it with her lips and the tip of her tongue and her teeth; and then embrace him and kiss him like she had never kissed Sir Cenric, their body becoming one and her clothes dropping at her feet and his fingers dipping in her skin, her nude flesh, her soul. Sinner. She felt her cheeks warm up and quickly turned her back to him; it was too late, however, he had already caught her watching and was now smirking. The cold water had sobered him up and he was thinking straight for the first time in days, as straight as he could think with the pretty lady staring at him with lust corrupting her otherwise innocent features. He laughed lightly when she turned her back to him, she was not fast enough for him not to catch a glimpse of the red spreading on her skin. He was grateful for her, his Aoife, awkwardly standing on the bank, amusing him enough to let him forget Sithric’s betrayal and his shame for his behaviour of the last few days, even if just for a moment. Aoife heard him walk out of the water and she turned around, covering her eyes with a hand. It was her way to try and save the appearance, to not give him the pleasure of knowing that she liked what he had to offer. She was not ready for the mockery, not in that specific context. Of course, it was all in vain. “You can watch, I don’t mind.” he laughed, and she threw the clothes straight on his face, making him laugh even harder. She had to admit that she had missed that barking and the way his eyes crinkled when he was happy. “Be quiet and dress up.” she mumbled embarrassed, but she was smiling and wasn’t even trying to hide it. Her anger had been gone as fast as a sneeze; he had an alarming power over her emotions. She thought she could die for the shame when he pulled his tunic over his head mumbling “I do love to be admired.” “Stop staring at me, warrior.” They were walking back to Saltwic, side by side, their knuckles brushing lightly; he could not take his eyes off her and she was trying hard not to look back at him that her neck was hurting. “Then look at me, lady.” he mumbled through a smile, and his hand brushed harder against hers. Something in his voice, made her obey swiftly. She raised her chin just enough to meet his gaze and her lips unintentionally curved up in a wider smile. He smiled back and caught a strand of her hair between his finger “I haven’t told you how pretty you look, dressed as a true warrior.” “You really need to learn how to be quiet.” she mumbled, still smiling “But that brings us to what I need you for.” she stand straighter “I need to improve my fighting skills and I need for you to help me.” He leant against a tree, his smile even wider then before “And how am I to be rewarded for my help?” She rolled her eyes, trying to appear as if his words hadn’t affected her, but she was blushing “What do you expect for me to answer, Finan?” “I have a couple of things in mind.” “With silver, man. Silver.” He tilted his head “I am only playing with you, Aoife. Of course, I will help you.” “Raise your arm, Aoife! Higher!” Finan shouted. He was sat on the fence just outside the estate with Osferth and Aethelflaed, watching and enjoying Aoife beating up a young warrior, Betlic. There wasn’t much to do in Saltwic, so the other warriors had clustered around them, searching some type of amusement. Aoife was having fun, beating Betlic with a wooden sword. She was quite sure that she wouldn’t enjoy it as much in a battle, but Betlic was a patience man and was taking each stroke as a true gentleman. He was also kind enough to stop when Finan shouted his instruction to the lady, and everybody except Aoife seemed to have noticed that he was watching her with enamoured eyes. Wouldn’t she be already smitten with Finan, she would have taken him in consideration; but the reality was that she could not take her eyes off her instructor, and she was losing concentration, stumbling on her own feet and on the blade of her sword. Aethelflaed and Osferth were particularly enjoying their time, their attention divided between Aoife’s clumsy strokes and Finan’s growing jealousy. Every day was the same, he would choose a warrior to fight with Aoife and they would rapidly get flustered by the young, pretty girl; she would be her kind self and laugh with them and ask them if they were all right after every stroke, and each time they would be less shy and more forward with their romancing. She would be oblivious about it and Finan would soon grow frustrated with them and with his own jealousy that he failed to hide; then, at some point he would explode and curse everyone and leave. It was embarrassing for him but amusing for the others and bets begun to be made on how long it would take him to get angry. That day, he exploded, as always and sooner than ever before. He was all red in face and cursed everyone, but he did not leave; he snatched the fake sword out of the young man’s hands and pushed him aside, placing himself right in front of Aoife. “Time to fight.” Watching him now, Aoife could barely remember the miserable man he was just days before, he looked healthy and happy enough; she was no fool, she knew that he was not over the pain yet, but he was coming to terms with Sithric’s betrayal quicker that she would expect and she was smug enough to believe that he was mostly her doing. And it really was, everybody knew that; she was honouring her word to Aethelflaed and Uthred, constantly keeping an eye on the Lady, she had taken care of Osferth, assisting him in his recover, and she had also kept Finan’s during the day, so that he would sleep all night long in his bed and not drown his sorrow in the ale. She was the mother of them all, really. She was still admiring him with her head in the clouds, when Finan hit her on the ribs, hard enough to make her stumble backwards and fall on her bottom. Mud splatted on her clothes and the small crowd around them started laughing. She grew frustrated and embarrassed and she stood up on herself, completely ignoring Finan’s hand. He smirked, playing with his sword “Again.” It was hard to watch, yet incredibly amusing; she fell, once, twice, three times, Finan’s smile growing wider and more arrogant each time. Aoife was covered in mud and her entire body was in pain, but she would not stop, she kept going and falling and going again. “Are you not tired yet?” Finan asked amazed after the umpteenth time. The sun had just started setting, and they had been there since dusk; they were both tired and out of breath. However, Aoife charged him again and without a word; and, as any other time before, Finan blocked her blow without hesitation. This time, though, she was ready. She kicked him in the shin, taking him by surprise; he bended towards the pain and she used his temporary weakness to push him on the mud, face first. She kicked his sword out of his hand and when he turned around and raised his face from the mud, she pointed her blade to his throat. “Yield thee.” She was looking him straight in the eyes with a new confidence, her hand trembling lightly for the effort, but her grip secure and tight. Finan could not disarm her, and he did not want to; she was looking like the angel of vengeance and he would not only surrender to her he would give her his heart and soul. He dropped his head in the mud and closed his eyes “I yield, my lady.” Aoife closed the door of her room behind her back. Aethelflaed had asked her if she wanted company but she had kindly declined. She was tired, and smelt of sweat and mud. Her entire body was aching. She was also torn; invaded by contradictory emotions. She was happy for the progress she was making with the sword, amused every time she thought about Finan all covered in mud and proud of defeating him. And yet, at the same time, she felt miserable. Every step she was doing towards her warrior life and the achievement of her long-aspired dream was a step away from her past, her nun life. Since she had left Wincelcumb she had yet to find a moment for herself, to mourn the death of the Abbess and address that dark place in her soul where she hid the memory of the lifeless eyes of that Dane and the pleasure she felt in killing a human being. She had spent all her time taking care of other people, and now that she thought about it, she came to the realisation that it was not only her will to help, it was also a way to escape the dark corners of her mind. And now, she was alone with them. She kneeled on the hard, cold stone floor and prayed, while tears streamed down her face; she prayed for God to forgive her young soul, not for the kill – that was necessary – but for the pleasure that came with it, that feeling of almightiness that was nothing more than human arrogance. She mourned the loss of the mother she had no memories of and the Mother that had raised her, she asked for forgiveness for abandoning her Sisters in a time of grief and shock. She cried because she was forgetting her former life quickly and she was not missing it. At some point in her prayers, she felt as a weight was lifted from her shoulders; a ray of sun entered through a hole in the wall and caressed her face, and she felt free. Somehow, she felt that it was the Abbess, forgiving and protecting her from the heavens and her mourning become smiles and her smiles laughs. It was the closure her heart needed and washing herself from the mud felt like a rebirth. She was ready now. Chapter Five.
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brandstifter-sys · 4 years
Text
Just Like Old Times
Word Count: 1698
Pairing: Dukexiety (other sides mentioned)
Rating: T+
Warnings: Sex mention, game grumps, food mention, death mention, svs pt2 spoilers
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Laying in bed after a stressful day was one of the best things Virgil could do. He could melt into his mattress and let all of the tension in his body go. But his mind was a different story. After surviving the wedding, he needed to find the right video or videos to distract him. Vines were out of the question, he needed something to really focus on that wouldn’t include Thomas. His mind would wander back to the wedding. He knew exactly what to pull up.
With his laptop open and youtube up, his shaky fingers danced over the keyboard. The light from the screen lit up his face as the video loaded, and then his face lit up. 
Yes, the Game Grumps. Their laughter and antics made him feel better. This episode was definitely a classic, Pokemon FireRed #28. He loved that bit and had to thank Ninja Brian if he ever met the guy.
Hey I’m Grump! I’m Not-so Grump! And we’re the Game Grumps!
But just when he was getting into the story, his peace fell apart. 
“Oh Emoraptor!” Remus sang as he rose up.
“What the hell are you doing in here, and what do you want?” Virgil paused the video and huffed, not bothering to look at the duke. He couldn’t smell him at least. 
“I just wanted to tell you something,” Remus pouted and rocked his shoulders back and forth. 
“What? I’m in the middle of something here,” Virgil responded briskly and spared Remus a tired glance. The duke brought his finger to his lip and bent his knee.
“I’m a sexy widdle baby!” he cooed and fluttered his lashes. He topped it off with a wink and blew a teasing kiss. Virgil couldn’t fight back a snort. Remus was good at being ridiculous.
“And what does the sexy widdle baby want?” Virgil asked with a taunting smirk. 
“I wanna watch with you!” Remus cheered and shimmied. Virgil rolled his eyes. He was clean, including his nails, they were perfectly trimmed too, and head scratches sounded wonderful, even if it meant getting them from Remus. He scooted over and patted the bed next to him.
“Keep it in your pants and no licking and you can stay.”
“Yes!” Remus cheered and leapt on the bed, “Bring on the Daddy Sexbang!” He wiggled to get comfy on his front and got close to Virgil to see the screen.
“Don't call Dan that again," Virgil groaned. He knew it was a lost cause but he was not going to let it slide that easily. 
"But he’s a sexy widdle baby!” Remus laughed and threw his arm around Virgil. Vigil didn’t push him away but he rolled his eyes. 
“Yeah, he is, you aren’t.”
“Excuse moi?”
“He doesn’t have a mustache, or smell like shit,” Virgil jeered. Remus retaliated by scratching his scalp. 
"I'm sorry are you sniffing Dan Avidan daily?" Remus snickered as Virge melted into the touch. 
"I don't have that kind of access or the need to sniff a straight man." 
"Don't summon Janus with that kind of talk!" Remus laughed, "He's busy watching for when Patton flings logic out the window!" 
"They're talking with Thomas?" Virgil asked wearily. 
"Yeah but you can stick around and nut over Dan with me! This is a moral dilemma!" 
"Should I be reading between the lines? I'm too tired to do that shit," Virgil grunted and scooted closer to Remus. 
"I mean if you want to read between the lines you can assume I want to nut with you, over Dan or otherwise!" 
"Gross!" Virgil snickered and sighed contentedly as the video switched into the next one. 
"Come on! Like you haven't looked up some polygrumps art in your spare time to get some ideas!" 
"Shipping real people is gross." 
"Shipping and smut aren't the same thing! They're cool with that art, so it's fine!" Remus countered with a wink, "Do you think they make art of us like that?" 
"They do. I try not to look it up. I don't want to imagine that much of the others. Especially Janus—there's a select group that takes the snake thing to a whole other level." 
"Hot!" Remus cheered and shimmied, wiggling his eyebrows at Virge. He snorted in response and pressed his tongue into his cheek. 
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" 
"Because I'm me!" Remus giggled and glanced at the video, "Soap carving?" 
"Yeah, I guess so. Ten Minute Power Hour. This shit is right up your alley!" Virgil hummed and watched as Arin and Dan debated the source of the smell of soap. 
“Soap smells like soap, didn’t think that would be up for debate,” Virgil says, shaking his head.
“They usually add something to give it a scent, otherwise it smells like ammonia and meat fat!”
“Is that why you stink?”
“Nah! That’s just the scent of rejection!–Holy shit that cheese!” Remus hummed only to be distracted by a moldy old cheese carving that Dan dropped on the table.
“David Cheeseman, rip in pepperonis.” Virgil sighed wistfully, “He was a likeness of Dan and now he’s a likeness of you.”
“I resent that, unlike Dan, I know my sexiness has limits!” 
“We define them differently.”
“So you think I’m hotter than Danny Sexbang? I don’t know what to say!” Remus preened and rolled on his side, putting himself on display. Virgil scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“That despite all the shit you do, you have normal thumbs, so that's a plus,” Virgil couldn’t help but tease. Remus gave him a questioning smirk and scratched his scalp in retaliation. 
"You know you love me!" 
"I don't know what you're talking about—" Virgil shrugged while continuing to watch, "—oh god, Arin no!"
Remus watched amusedly as Arin bit down on a bar of soap wrapped in brown yarn. He was going to town trying to bite through it. The pause when he "realized it wasn't ice cream" got a chuckle out of Remus. But it was Dan suggesting he bite it again and his nonchalant agreement and subsequent chompage that got Virge laughing. 
"Mixing in the rootbeer is a good choice," Remus noted over the emo giggles, "it is creamy, but not like my favorite cream!" 
"Dude!"
"What? I have a preference for Kelpie milk and cream! And they think I’m the dirty one!” Remus cackled. Virgil shoved him playfully and scoffed.
“You and I both know you would say the other thing.”
“Yeah!” Remus said and fluttered his lashes, “But I didn’t! I’m unpredictable like that!”
“You’re as random as a soap taco.”
“They call it a clean taco!”
“Who’s they?”
“Arin.”
“Touché”
“Tushy!” Remus cheered and flopped on his stomach with a giggle. Virgil was tempted to shove him off the bed while the grumps goofed off with soap.
“That’s supposed to be satisfying?”
“Usually, yeah,” Virgil shrugged and flipped his hair out of his face, expecting Remus to go on about soap cutting stim videos. He was not expecting the joyful smacking on his arm when they started singing.
“This is my jam!” Remus squealed, “Oooh! Can we sing it! Please! You know you love this song!” Virgil bobbed his head in mock contemplation and smirked.
“Yeah, if you think you can remember the words,” he said with a teasing lilt to his voice. Remus smiled darkly and nodded.
"There used to be a graying tower alone in the sea. You became the light on the dark side of me.” They sang in tandem, waiting for the other to mess up.
“Love remains!” Remus practically screamed as he climbed that octave, before dropping to his usual range.
“A drug that’s the high not the pill. But did you know that when it snows, my eyes become large, and the light that you shine can be seen?” he let Virgil handle that next chunk, mainly because there was a smoothness to the emo’s voice that he didn’t have. Plus he liked Virgil's singing.
“Baby! I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey, ooh, the more I get of you the stranger it feels, yeah! Now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the–” they were getting into it, having fun until...
“Grey.” “Grave.”
“It’s 'grey,' dukebag,” Virgil scoffed, “I can google the lyrics for you.”
“I know but I like saying ‘grave’ better! It still fits!” Remus argued.
“Just like you and your coffin,” Virgil jeered.
“Exactly! Now how about you let your rose bloom on my face so I can die happy!”
“That was a terrible euphemism, even for you.”
“Yeah, but that’s because I’m spending time with you again after so long, like almost nothing has changed except for the benefits and it makes me happy to be around and wanted!”
“Wanted?"
"I'm always showing up uninvited and it's part of the job. But it's nice to be wanted too, not just tolerated." Remus answered cheerfully. Virgil winced. He knew what that felt like, and almost forgot it too. 
"It sure is," Virgil sighed and wrapped an arm around Remus, "It sure is." 
"Janus just revealed his name." Remus hummed after a beat of silence. He was good at listening in on whatever was at the forefront of Thomas' mind when he wanted. 
"What?" 
"Yep! And he's gonna be a mess when he gets back, happy and hurt!" Remus hummed, "Of course so is Princey but it seems like Pat has that covered." 
"Are you gonna go help him?" 
"Nah, not yet. My name reveal wasn't emotional, so I'm useless in that department! Besides, I'm busy watching Game Grumps with my old flame and having fun! Self-Care Snake always says leisure is important!" 
"Yeah, the emotional stuff can wait. Wanna see them fail at summoning a ghost?" 
"Do I have a tentacle tramp stamp?" Remus answered with a mustache wiggle. Virgil snorted and ruffled Remus' hair.
"I missed you, you little shit!" Virgil laughed as he clicked on the next video. 
"I love you too, Scare Bear!" 
Virgil hummed noncommittally and leaned against the duke, resting his head on his shoulder. It really was as if nothing had changed at all.
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