#in fact they've often asked me if i have certain ones if we find them at used bookstores

[jedi-bird]

Today I managed to unpack seven boxes, not that you can really tell. I did more than that though.

There is a very tall and very wide stack of boxes in what's technically supposed to be the dining room that are mostly full of books. It's been my dream to get them unpacked and on shelves since I moved in here. It's finally (slowly) happening.

Today I sorted through about a third of them. I pulled a few books from some, whole boxes from the pile, and repacked several others. The stack is now slightly shorter but takes up the same footprint (about half those books are either staying downstairs or need to be donated once I get the time to sit and consider them). I took as many of the craft books, star wars books, and manga that I collected in high school and college and moved them to the living room. From there the manga all went upstairs (since that's the bookshelf I started with and it empties boxes quickest). My partner thought I was crazy from moving them upstairs, but a lot of what I have isn't necessarily family friendly and some was reselling for quite a bit of money a few years ago. And since the work room can be closed off if we ever have guests over it makes the most sense. Their art books and gaming books are going to go into the loft along with my scifi and fantasy collection, while downstairs will remain reference books, gardening manuals, kids, and cookbooks. Yes, I've been planning this out for a very long time.

I'm going to have to go buy extra shelves soon, and possibly more magazine boxes but that's okay. And at some point I need to sort through what's in the loft and start moving things around. Just need to remember to wear my knee and elbow braces next time I start moving books; my joints are protesting right now.

[cloudcountry]

like real people do: solomon

they've seen the world shift and change throughout their long, long lives, but if they could they would have given it all up just to be with you.

~~~~~

I would not ask you where you came from I would not ask and neither would you. Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips We should just kiss like real people do.

~~~~~

There’s a dull ache in his back as Solomon works on his new project. It’s a memento he was to bestow upon them, yet another gift that’s meant to protect them from the demons they’re surrounded with on a daily basis. Solomon has convinced himself that if he works hard enough, he can have them for just a day longer, he can make space in the universe for just a little bit more time in their lifespan, all without directly affecting their mortality. He doesn’t want them to turn out like him. He doesn’t want them to watch everyone around them grow old and forget their face, to be a wisp of what was once human as time slips away from them.

The brothers often compare him to a demon. Though he is still a human at heart, there is very little humanity left in him.

Solomon has come to terms with the fact that he will never have a chance to truly be with them, as they’re always surrounded by the brothers and the Prince of the Devildom himself, plus the prince’s own butler and an angel that could give them far more than Solomon ever could. He cannot fascinate them with wings or shift forms to protect them, nor can he wow them with extensive knowledge of a world they are not familiar with. Though Solomon hides it well, the fact of the matter is that he will always feel inferior to everyone else that chases after their heart, and yearns for the moment when they turn their eyes to him and promise him their entire being. He wants their soul, he wants their body, he wants anything and everything they have to offer. He wants to swallow them whole and clutch them to his chest, if only to keep them safe from all the demons (and angels, too, as Simeon is just as devious as a demon) that might try and lead them astray.

Solomon takes a moment to admire the finally finished product, intertwining his fingers and thrusting his arms over his head. His joints crack pleasantly, and he pushes himself up out of the chair with a satisfied sigh. Now that the little object is complete, all he has to do is cast a protection spell on it. It’s a simple thing, just meant to keep the brothers out of their room when they want their own space, something that he knew they would appreciate on days when he wasn’t there to whisk them away from the chaos and loudness of the House of Lamentation.

It was silly to worry about him not being around, as they were the ones with a much shorter lifespan.

How silly of him to lament on such an obvious thing.

Solomon sighs again, gently lifting the precious little object into his hands.

“Spirit of affection, spirit of love, spirit of benevolence, offer your power to the object before me, so that the loved one I bestow it upon shall be protected of all they deem a threat.”

A soft glow emanates from it, and Solomon slams his eyes shut in order to pour as much love as he can into it. His heart opens like a set of floodgates holding back a tsunami, and he’s reminded of the urge to consume them whole. Fuck, he needs them. He needs them so much, every day is so much brighter with them and it’s like he doesn’t need to be lonely anymore. They’re so terrible for making him so dependent. He doesn’t know how he’ll manage anymore, not when he’s pledged his everything to you for as long as his lifespan drags on. He can only open his eyes and wish he was a better man, wish he could say for certain that he wouldn’t go digging in every spellbook he could find for a way to bring them back once they've passed.

That’s not his choice to make.

He mutters another incantation under his breath, and this one brings him right into their room. Ironically enough, he’s the one invading their room. Didn’t he make this for them so this wouldn’t happen?

Just the demon brothers, he thinks as he sets the gift on your bed, Just them.

Because obviously, Solomon is special. He means more to them.

Right?

He wants to mean more. He wants to be number one on their list, always.

He’d drop everything for them in a second if that's what they wanted him to do.

He decides to wait for them, since they’re most likely gaming with the Avatar of Envy right now. Whether they’re doing it to pacify his jealousy or because they genuinely like spending time with him, he doesn’t know. He hopes it’s just to pacify Leviathan. He wants them all to himself, being the selfish man he is.

He wishes he were a better man.

He only has to wait a few minutes more before the door clicks and swings open, their form slipping into the safety of their room. They turn around after the door is shut and jump when they see him, but they don’t scream. They smile.

Fuck, he’s in love with that smile. He wants to see it every day for all eternity.

“Hey Solomon.” they hum, approaching him far too quickly and smoothing back his hair like they’ve done it a million times before, “Do you need something for me?”

He needs so much from you.

“I wanted to give you something.” he snickers, a mischievous grin masking the fluttering butterflies in his belly, “It’s a gift. Don’t think too hard about it.”

They laugh, and he resists the urge to take them into his arms.

“Oh, when you say things like that it makes me nervous.” they shake their head, amusement evident as they take the object from him, “So, what do this one do? Prevent Beel from eating my snacks? Stop Mammon from stealing my spare Grim?”

“Even better.” Solomon chirps, “It’ll be helpful in the future, I can assure you.”

“You’re avoiding the question.” they roll their eyes, but there’s no malice behind it, “It’s never easy to get an answer out of you, huh?”

“I promise it’s nothing dangerous.” he jokes, eyes trailing after them as they sit down on their bed.

“It’s okay, Sol. I trust you.” they pat the spot on the bed next to them, an affectionate mirth blooming on their face, “You’re always doing so much to protect me...makes me want to protect you too.”

A moment of silence. Solomon doesn’t move. Sol sounds so much like Soul that it has heat creeping onto his cheeks and his pupil blown wide. Shocked by the affectionate name, he laughs.

“Don’t laugh! I know I can’t protect you as well as I'd like yet...and you’re capable of protecting yourself and me.” they murmur, holding the silly little thing he made them so gently in their hands.

“I can’t protect you from everything.” Solomon says seriously, taking their offer to sit down. He’s closer to them than he should be, he knows this, but they don’t pull away so he doesn’t either, “I can’t protect you from your own mortality. You must know this.”

Their smiling face turns equally as serious in the blink of an eye, but Solomon stands his ground. It’s an inevitability that they steer clear from, something they don't discuss even if it feels as though it’s going to break them apart. It will eventually, he reminds himself, and he has to be careful or else he’ll become too greedy and selfish and ransack the world—no, the three realms—for any way to make you just as cursed as he was.

“I can protect myself from that. I’ll find a way.” they say, so certain that they will.

It sends a shiver down Solomon’s spine.

“After all, I can’t just leave you alone, now can I?” they hum, turning away from him to place his newest project on their bedside table, “Not my Solomon. I’m staying with him for all eternity.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” he laughs shakily, desperately hoping that what they’re saying is true and that they actually mean all the things they say, because if that’s the case that means they genuinely want to stay with him for that long and he’ll never have to be alone anymore. It means that they’re willing to give up their humanity for him and the rest of their loved ones and the world they know right now.

All of it. All of it pales in comparison to him in their eyes.

He’s going to cry.

“MC...I can’t let you do that. You know I can’t.” he mumbles, reaching out for them. It doesn’t matter what he touches, he just needs to feel them, to know that they’re there and they won’t leave him even though it would be better for them if they did.

“It’s not your decision to make.” they say, and they meet him halfway with their gentle hands that hold him like he’s breakable even though he’s been through far more than they have.

“Can I not influence it a bit?” he laughs brokenly, slamming his eyes shut so he doesn’t have to look at their face.

“Not if you’re going to tell me no or all the reasons I shouldn’t stay with you.” they whisper, using their free hand to tangle their fingers through his hair and pull him into their chest, “Why are you denying yourself love? Why do you try to perpetuate this cycle of loneliness that you’ve been trapped in? I’m not saying my decision will fix everything or make it better, but I want to be with you even if it gets worse. Just trust me.”

Solomon does.

He trusts them and he believes them, so much so that that is the problem.

“I do.” he sighs, leaning into them like they’re the last person he will ever touch, “I trust you completely, and that’s the problem. I know that you’re being honest and I know you fully intend to pursue immortality, but-”

He stops to catch a breath, and they wait patiently for him as he tries to make sense of all the swirling thoughts in his mind. Even a millennia of experience wouldn’t have prepared him for what he was facing right now. He can’t let them do this. He just can't. He knows better than they do what being immortal entails, he can’t let them go down the same path.

“I…Please, listen to me.” he cries out, feeling tense behind his eyes as he begs them not to go through with it.

“I can’t just die.” they whisper. Those four words sound like shattered glass, cutting up his heart and he’s sure they’ll leave scars, whether they succeed or not.

“I know.” he concedes, head bumping against their shoulder defeatedly, “I know you can’t. I don’t want you to.”

They make a soft sound of acknowledgement, and he knows they’re aware of his internal conflict. They figure everything out so easily. He wishes they weren’t as smart.

They busy themselves by stroking the back of his head while he’s silent. Solomon leans into the loving touch, and finds himself listening to the steady thumping of their heart. It’s an unimaginable feeling for someone like him, being so close to another person, a fragile person, a person that cannot be as frivolous with their lifespan as he is.

And so he listens, and takes it all in.

Their hearts stutter.

It’s aching, he can sense it.

Despite the pain they both feel, it’s like their souls are being interconnected just by the closeness of their fragile human bodies, and he wishes their soul would be all his. He wants to feel what they feel, absorb all of their pain and sorrow so he can protect them even further.

“I’m not going to ask how you became immortal.” they mutter into his hair, giving him a gentle squeeze, “I know you won’t tell me. I’m going to figure this out by myself, and prove to you that I can handle immortality by your side.”

You can't do that is what he wants to say.

He can’t bring himself to say it.

If only he were a better man.

“I love you.” he says, and whether it’s a response to what they said or an impromptu confession he doesn’t know.

All he knows is that the reciprocated “I love you more,” is all he needed to hear.

[aardvark-123]

~Fallout 4 Companions React to a Quiche Lorraine~

Ada would be mildly interested. "Ah, a savoury pastry dish with a cheese, egg, and bacon lardon filling. Packed with energy for a hard day's scavenging. It isn't often you find something that nice out here."

Cait would stare at the quiche in a mixture of desire and trepidation. "Janey Mack..." she'd whisper. "I haven't touched a quiche since my parents tried to drown me in one! Held my face under the delicious, creamy, cheese and onion-based filling until I blacked out, so they did, to punish me for sneaking food earlier. Bastards." Whoever offered Cait the Quiche Lorraine would be so horrified by her tale, they wouldn't notice her devouring the whole pastry without leaving them so much as a slice.

Codsworth would be pleasantly surprised to see such fine cuisine two hundred years after the apocalypse. "By George, where on Earth did you manage to find that?!" he'd exclaim. "Did you bake it? Good heavens, I simply MUST have the recipe!"

Curie would be worried about the quiche at first. "Alors, you cannot be certain zis dish is safe to consume! Given zat it smells so good, it cannot contain much in ze way of preservatives..." Then she'd take a small bite, and her eyes would light up. "OH! Sacre bleu, ze quiche, it is making LOVE to my tongue! Oh, help, I fear I shall BURST from ze sheer pleasure of it! Aaaah... If zis is ze last Quiche Lorraine in ze world, I shall die..."

Paladin Danse would grab your hand halfway to the quiche. "Not so fast, soldier," he'd say sternly. "One of our rules is that a knight cannot feed themself until they've fed the Brotherhood. Luckily, as I am also in said Brotherhood, you can fulfil your obligation by cutting me a slice first..."

Deacon would wear the Quiche Lorraine as a hat, after which he'd be too busy laughing to eat much of it.

Dogmeat would sniff the quiche. His ears would prick up in delight, and he'd give you a pleading look, as if asking for permission to tuck in. If you gave him the go-ahead, he'd spend five minutes chowing down on the quiche, as quite possibly the happiest dog in the world.

"Heheheh... Now, there's a tasty dish!" Porter Gage would laugh. "Reminds me of all my favourite things, like torturing innocent victims, and selling children into slavery. Good times!"

Glory hasn't had much contact with baked goods before, and at first she'd be confused by the Quiche Lorraine. She'd get the picture after a few mouthfuls. "Man! Now, THERE'S a pie that can look a girl's tongue right in the eye!" she'd exclaim upon finishing the quiche. "Just needs some chips, coleslaw and a side salad, and maybe some mustard... Wait, how the Hell do I know what those things are? Weird."

Hancock would complain that the quiche was too salty and needed a side of apple juice.

MacCready would be ever so excited to have a delicious Quiche Lorraine, but he'd freeze with his fork half-way to his mouth. "Is this- is this paid for?" he'd stammer. "I don't have to pay for the quiche, do I? Just checking. I mean, it's probably worth a few caps, but I don't want any nasty surprises in the financial department. So are we all square? Right, good. Just making sure."

"Well, I'll be damned," Nick would chuckle, seeing the Quiche Lorraine just sitting there. "Genuine pastry and egg, just like old Mrs Calkowski used to make in that little place down on Mass Avenue. Times like this make a man miss having a stomach. No, don't feel bad, partner; you get some of that down you. It's cold out there, and you're gonna need your strength."

Old Longfellow would probably also eat the quiche.

Piper would cheerfully tuck in as soon as she was offered some quiche. She'd eat every crumb of the quiche, lick the plate (if there was in fact a plate involved), and immediately ask for an interview about where you found the quiche. "If there's still food like this out in the ruins, the public have a right to know! I want names, places, anything to do with the source of the quiche! This... is going to be big."

Preston would fetch some paper plates and start dividing up the quiche for everyone nearby, or everyone who needed it most.

Strong would dig out a rusty machete and hack the Quiche Lorraine in half. "Human! Eat pizza so you can grow big!" he'd bark, handing you half of the quiche. "Strong also eat pizza, so he can stay big," he'd chuckle, tucking into the other half.

X6-88 would be unimpressed. "Such a primitive pastry construction," he'd remark of the quiche. "This dish demonstrates poor nutritional balance, with excessive salt and fat. Eating too much of it may cause minor health problems. I recommend that both of us take a small slice, and we hand the rest over for molecular analysis. The Institute's scientists will surely be able to generate a better, healthier quiche."

If you've never heard of Quiche Lorraine before, it's a type of egg and ham quiche originating in Lorraine, which is in France. It's a tasty dish.

[devondespresso]

i was reading a scoops era steddie au where eddie visits scoops often and one thing i noticed i alway want but have yet to see (bear in mind my fic pallette is basically just shit i see on Tumblr and occasionally reading every fic a certain author has written) is a specific scene of eddie noticing stobins missing when he goes to visit them at scoops the day theyre stuck in the bunker. cause they entered the bunker after a shift one night and didn't get out until at the soonest the next afternoon right before the mall closes so if either or both of them were scheduled to work then they'd be just... gone.

and how characters around them handle that depends on how soon (if at all) they're declared missing. did robin think they'd be in-and-out in their snooping and tell her parents shes be back a little late or did she think they'd be out kinda late fucking around and just lied to her parents telling them shes sleeping over at a friend's like how we know tina was going to cover for erica? did mrs Henderson freak out when Dustin didn't bike back home (knowing what happened with will) or did she know he was with steve and trusted that they were goofing off or something?

and usually i see Steve's parents not being home but what if they were?? they could panic because steve always has some sort of excuse for why hes gone or maybe just his mom starts worrying because while his dad never really asks about him she does and she knows hes probably not at some girls house right now because he at least would have told her. or maybe mrs harrington doesn't know her son as well as she thinks she does and assumes he is out at some girls house and is relieved hes finally getting to be more like himself.

maybe just one or two people in scoops troop are reported missing that night and maybe the search started for them is enough for the other's parents or friends to realize they're all missing. maybe none of them are because they each already had a coverup with the people who'd notice. maybe they spent a good few hours in that elevator regretting lying about where they'd be because now no one knows they're in danger and by the time they start looking it could be too late (obviously erica didn't seem to grasp this yet but shes literally 10 and it's definitely her fist severely traumatic life or death experience. for the others tho it could definitely be on their minds and i have seen a few fics where robin wonders about how steve and Dustin are reacting like they've done scary shit like this before together)

then morning comes and id give it until lunch with no calls or anything before parents who believed their kids were sleeping over to start worrying seriously. maybe they call the friend their child's supposedly with and get a confused parent saying they haven't seen them or maybe they get the friend picking up and confirming they're fine (like tina). but if Mrs Henderson gets worried and calls steve she'll either get the harringtons saying he isn't home right now or she won't be able to reach him. and knowing steves like a big brother and a best friend to dustin knows that if steve missing too he's probably at least missing with him and goes to the station worried about them both

and then theres the fact that scoops has to open in the morning, probably sometime around 10am. maybe steve and robin were scheduled to both work again and as 10am comes and passes scoops ahoy hasn't been touched. maybe some mall manager calls the scoops manager (forgive me ive never worked in a mall but i do work in a store-within-a-store and we have our own manager plus the big store manager) and asks where their employees are. if missing persons reports were filed that last night then the manager would be really worried while frantically trying to find someone to cover for them. but maybe no one knows they're missing yet and their manager is grumbling about their no-shows, maybe considering firing them for both disappearing without even calling out. depending on how much they know and if the reports were filed, whoever has to cover their shifts is either worried about their coworkers (probably moreso robin than steve because of his reputation) or utterly pissed that they both didn't show and they have to open scoops ahoy with a few hours delay and probably a good few karens bitching about being closed. or maybe one or the other was scheduled and while their no-show is really inconvenient at least someone's there to open and ask for backup

and then theres steves car still parked in the back where it was the day before. a bike left behind at the mall is less eyebrow-raising but a fancy car? Steve Harrington's car? Steve Harrington who was scheduled to work today but somehow isn't in scoops right now? is he skipping work while simultaneously wandering around his workplace? and whats worse is despite evidence being there *no one can find him*. maybe thats what it takes for people to realize hes like actually missing. maybe they think he was kidnapped, hopefully he just went home with some girl and lost track of time.

and then theres eddie. eddie whos been stopping by scoops for a while now. maybe he still doesn't really like Harrington but likes teasing him with Buckley or maybe they've gotten pretty close. maybe they're already dating. maybe eddie walks up to scoops one morning to find it closed or to find that one or the other didn't show up for work this morning. maybe he hears from the worker that ones missing or maybe they get a rant about how pissed the worker is to be opening alone. maybe he's the one to go to a mall manager or security officer worried about scoops being closed because he *knows* the people that are supposed to be there right now and they don't just abandon work at the same time with no explanations.

or maybe eddie visits in the afternoons and learns they're missing from their coworkers or maybe hes there because he saw it on the news and went on his our hunt. either way it'd probably end with Eddie looking around the mall for them because he knows steve isn't going to just abandon his beemer in a busy public parking lot. maybe he finds them high out of their minds while checking the movie theatre (this one i do see a lot and am obsessed with its so good) or maybe he doesn't find them at all (its a big mall and they are actively hiding from Russians who know they escaped. sure stobin are not being very secretive while high but dustin and erica are at least keeping them in less-discoverable locations). maybe he goes home knowing hes looked everywhere in that damn mall and assumes they're probably kidnapped and taken somewhere else (if he did find them tho that opens a whole can of worms for if, how, and how much eddie gets involved and while my brains gone down sone of those rabbit holes i don't think i will today)

and then they see the news about the mall fire. and eddie knows damn well that he looked everywhere in that mall but didn't see a trace of his friends but there they are on the news and apparently in the fire. maybe eddie assumes he didn't look hard enough. but maybe he sees how steves the only one with more than a few bruises on his legs, how despite them claiming he was trapped in rumble that also allegedly killed billy hargrove he looks like hes carrying himself on adrenaline alone and hovering around robin and the kids like something more than falling support beams could get to them. maybe its the fact that he look as shit as he did but wasn't laying down on a hospital stretcher like he would be if he just got those wounds.

_._._._

hi if you saw any typos no you didn't UNLESS theyre funny or actually concerning then you should tell me and i can react appropriately

also i swear i feel like doctor strange looking through every possible reality when i go on tangents like this. idk whenever i come up with little fics in my head or come up with different ways my favorite unfinished fics could end im always exploring as many different versions of the same scenario as i can and coming up with as many what-ifs as i can.

also i pressed the poll button by accident while making this and idk how to make it go away to we're trying just ignoring it and not writing anything in it to see if it goes away

actually fuck that it probably wont work so im adding a poll question as a treat for the people who read this far

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.183 thoughts

[Rip Has Two Hands]

(Contents: polyamorous gushing, thematic analysis, Latla analysis)

WHOO!!! THANK YOU, TOZUKA!!!

Being in a polyamorous relationship, it means so much to me and my family to see a scene like this. My wife runs a blog dedicated to polyamory in manga (@polyamanga), and so often potential triads or quads or whatever else will dissolve right at the end because of any number of excuses, like one character realizing that they see the love interest as like their mom, or something, or a harem protagonist insisting that polyamory is morally wrong even though he's too spineless to actually make a choice. It's endlessly frustrating, and even a lot of series that are centered around polyamory still miss the mark in certain ways. Kanojo mo Kanojo, for example, has every single character decrying the act of two-timing consistently despite the fact that that's the lifestyle that they agreed to live! Even the main dude calls himself a scumbag constantly, like he's a monster for actually being honest with his girlfriend and continuing to do something she, again, agreed to!

I don't know what Tozuka plans to do with this relationship, whether it's going to get a lot of focus or if it's going to mostly be a background detail or what, but just getting to see a character actively decide to enter a polyamorous relationship and be met with love and acceptance for that decision is extremely refreshing and exciting. I do hope we get to see them actually acting like a triad and that it doesn't devolve into jealous bickering, but from what we've seen of this group, the bickering that does happen is likely going to be mostly playful. More than anything, though, I hope that we get some more detailed characterization for Leila, as one of the major complaints I've seen is that she's just been generically smiley and supportive, not unlike Ichico in Nico's flashback

But what's wrong with that? Two different characters acted in a similar way in a similar situation, asking for their partner to be happy in the event of their impending death? That's not lazy writing, that's theming! Undead Unluck is about finding happiness through sorrow! Would Fuuko's parents have wanted her to kill herself after she found out that she was responsible for their death? No, they would have wanted her to be happy! Did Isshin's dad want her to lose faith in herself after her armor failed to protect him from a UMA? No, he wanted her to know that she had saved the rest of the village!

While plenty of characters enforce despair on themselves, no one in Undead Unluck deliberately enforces despair on anyone else except for God and the UMA, who represent that very despair. "I have to atone for what I did/this is my cross to bear/I deserve this." Those are all self-imposed rules! And if there's one thing Undead Unluck has taught us, it's that rules are meant to be broken!!! If a rule doesn't benefit or protect those it restricts, then it's just a tool that someone else is using to control them!

And that's exactly what we're told here, too. Society tells us that we have to pick one partner, even if it means someone's happiness has to be lost, but why? What purpose does it serve to compromise on what would make us happy? Sure, if one partner would be unhappy with that outcome, then it may not be worth pursuing, but Latla's objection isn't that she'd be unhappy, it's that other people will judge them for their choice

"Why do you always worry about me?! Why won't you just leave me be?" Latla has already decided that she doesn't get her happy ending because she wants Leila to get hers. She thinks that their happiness is mutually exclusive, so she resigned herself to finding happiness in Leila's happiness. But that's a fallacy. They aren't mutually exclusive, they can have their cake and eat it too, and they'll be happier for it because neither of them needs to think that they've deprived the other of their happiness. Do you think Rip and Leila would be satisfied knowing that Latla was hurting? That she was crying behind a tree while they kissed? That she was slowly backing away and would eventually be gone from their lives if they didn't literally drag her back?

Latla chastised Rip in both this and the previous loop for going out on his own and leaving her behind, but in her own way, Latla was doing the exact same thing. Rip was literally distant, but Latla was emotionally distant, refusing to allow herself to indulge in the happiness that would otherwise be lost to her sister. If she and Rip hadn't held each other at arm's length in the previous loop, how differently would their lives have gone? How happy could they have been? Better question, was happiness even possible for them at the time without Leila? Were they being disrespectful of Leila's wishes, or was the hole too great for them to fill on their own?

Nico couldn't fill the Ichico-shaped hole in his heart with Mico, even though that's what Ichico wanted, for fear that doing so would erase what little was left of her in his heart. Perhaps it was hopeless from the beginning that Rip and Latla would be able to move on without Leila, much like Rip and Leila wouldn't be able to smile knowing that Latla was crying

Undead Unluck is about joy and freedom, and its cast finds joy in living freely. Fuuko fell into despair because she couldn't touch anyone, but found joy when she met someone she could touch freely. Juiz was trapped in a never-ending cycle of loss, but found joy when she met someone who she trusted could break the cycle. Rip and Latla fell apart when they lost Leila, but now can laugh and smile without reservation or guilt because they can be with her forevermore without anyone telling them they can't. And who are we to tell them they can't be happy after everything they've been through?

[saurons-pr-department]

Hey anon, I have screen-shotted your ask because I am going to try stay out of tag/term searches here, which in an of itself probably answers your question XD

So! Thoughts as they occur to me!

I did give the whole first season a watch. Partly out of giving it a chance, partly out of morbid curiosity, like when you can't look away from something awful happening in front of you even when you really want to close your eyes.

What I think is interesting actually, is that my main issues with the show have somewhat changed since I initially watched it. While watching it my only thoughts were "wrong, wrong, that never happened, wrong, wrong, wrong, look how they massacred my boy (gn), wrong!" And while those thoughts themselves haven't changed my main issues have changed to focus more on how it's such a badly structured story (the timelines feel both stretched and compressed in a way that doesn't add anything to the stories being told) and how I don't think it knows yet what it wants to be (it's Tolkien, but it's its own thing, but it's a 'prequel' in the very modern franchise sense of the word to the PJ films, but it's also not those films).

For the structure, I personally wouldn't have put two major stories into one show. I don't think there's the time for that. Both the Akallabêth and the creation of the rings exist as very sketchy narratives that cover extremely long timeframes. Original content was always going to be needed to fill the gaps. But by putting both tales into the one show, I feel they've doubled the amount of gap filling needed while halving the amount of screentime they have for it because there's now twice the amount of canon to cover (tbf, they don't seem to want canon so maybe that's not an issue for them...). To force them to run simultanously and then add original content that isn't just filling the gaps but appears to be completely original, you end up with a story that is both too empty and too full. Nothing is getting the time it deserves. Big moments feel undeserved or rushed. It takes the wind out of its own sails. (and that's without mentioning that these stories running alongside eachother just throws timelines and motivations out of whack, but I refuse to get us all bogged down in the minutiae of my grumblings!)

It's a pity, the story of the fall of Númenor and the creation of the rings have such good parallels, but that would require them to focus on things like religion and politics etc and they seem to be more interested in mystery boxes, so... oh well?

In regards the show's identity crisis, to be fair to them, that's really not that unusual in first seasons. They're not special XD Let's face it, how often have we all been recommended something that came with the caveat 'you need to get through the first few episodes/first season before it gets good and finds its feet'? Especially fantasy and sci-fi that has to establish facts about the world as well as characters in a way a drama set in the real world doesn't. I wouldn't be shocked to learn that the show hits its stride a bit better in later seasons.

However, my current biggest gripe with the show is what I'm seeing in the writers' attitude to storytelling. I can't stand it. The actor for a certain someone whose name begins with H didn't know who his character really was until after shooting the first few episodes. There's the back and forth of is it H or the guy who fell from the sky who'll turn out to be the villain. Sky man even gets some stalkers whose only purpose was to add confusion to this situation and then be immediately killed, no further context. One of the writers (I don't remember who) when asked about deviations from canon said something to the effect of 'we don't want book fans to be episodes ahead'. It's the modern Marvel school of story-telling. It's mystery boxes and twists and fears of spoilers and people knowing what's coming next. That's not how you tell a story. You need more substance than that. Big moments are only interesting if you've earned them with a well crafted lead up. And what's the point of a big moment if it adds nothing to the story in the first place. They had one of fantasy's most iconic villains, why was there a secret? The Second Age is where he's cracking out his most rediculous long cons. The man's twirling his mustache while kicking up his feet and writing 'evil' into every date in his diary for at least a millenium, what does a secret identity add to this story really?

Don't worry, I will move swiftly on from the topic of my boy who is not really my boy before we get in too deep... No one needs to hear that... But do you get my point? Big reveal. No substance.

To add a note of positivity, I actually really like Sky man's music. It's genuinely a really nice piece of music. I also liked that they wanted to add one of the 'original' orcs, that's a cool concept!

Oh! And whoever okayed those American 'stage-Irish' accents needs to be fired into the sun :D

[sophieinwonderland]

Imitated DID 2 - Hysterical Boogaloo

We're diving back in from where we left off last time. Now with the "hysterical" group.

There is actually a certain level of logic to part of this.

I don't diagnose people with disorders. But when talking about plurality with questioning systems, I find it much more useful to ask about their internal experiences and hear them described in their own words.

Especially because a lot of medical jargon and even plural community terms kind of suck for describing these type of experiences. If someone isn't describing things in their own words, I can understand feeling like they might be faking. But that doesn't mean they are.

Comorbid Mental Illnesses can affect communication: We have ASD. If you've noticed, we tend to use jargon and big words a lot. I often make up my own jargon too because much of what I see from psychiatry is inadequate. (I could go on long rants about how meaningless the word "dissociation" is.)

The issue is that a lot of people with ASD or other disorders might behave like this. We might use clinical words if we've studied them. I'd like to think We would have the presence of mind to not reply to a psychiatrist asking "what do you mean by amnesia" by explaining whether our amnesia is retrograde or anterograde, but I could easily imagine someone else doing that.

Some people also have personality types where they might be seeking respect, and trying to impress a psychiatrist with their knowledge of academic terms.

Perhaps what appears to not be genuine is just another condition that makes people communicate in ways a neurotypical wouldn't be expected to.

This also goes for other behavior that appears non-genuine. Maybe someone presenting more overt presentation just doesn't have a filter or social awareness.

(Also, amnesia isn't even professional jargon. It's used all the time by lay people.)

Again, most people with DID stated they would miss the voices of their alters: Like I said in the last post, 69% of DID voice hearers said they would miss their alters' voices if they were gone.

The feeling of "I won't let anybody take them away from me!" isn't uncommon. They're in the MAJORITY. Maybe expressing these feelings aloud is uncommon. But that just makes me further suspect influence from comorbid disorders that make it difficult to tell what's socially acceptable.

Another possibility is someone mentions their full trauma history and talks about their conditions as a test of sorts. They've learned to expect rejection, and want to be upfront about everything so that if they scare someone away, it will be right at the beginning of the relationship.

It's so important to account for different behaviors in different people, and different illnesses and conditions that can influence those behaviors.

WHAT?!

She couldn't handle Lucille, who always got her own way. Lucille is convinced that her mother physically and sexually abused her.

There are many ways to write this that wouldn't involve portraying the mother as a victim of a little girl.

It's stated as an objective fact that Lucille's mother "couldn't handle Lucille," suggesting Lucille was always the problem. Meanwhile, "Lucille is convinced" her mother abused her. It's not even neutral language, like she "reported" or "described" it. She's "convinced."

I'm absolutely appalled.

Also, it feels a little gross for the doctors to describe their patient as "attractive" and with a "seductive presentation." I'm not the only one feeling that, right?

So she essentially did report amnesia. It just sounds like she didn't understand what amnesia was or was in denial, and clinicians should have questioned further.

Surely, if she were trying to manipulate the clinicians, she'd have claimed to amnesia, right? Since amnesia is part of the criteria?

Like with the "borderline" group from before, she had DPDR.

So she recognized similarity in her own experiences with DID systems AND an independent clinician confirmed her DID.

But this is what they're using as evidence against her. That she heard about it first and then identified with it. But that's often how people learn about their disorders. Sure, sometimes it can be wrong. But it shouldn't be treated as evidence against somebody as it is here.

Quick reminder that she started to hurt herself in group treatment.

Why would you suggest she go without therapy? Supposedly it worked out if we trust the clinicians' report. But I'm not so certain I do. I doubt they'd say "we told her to take a hike and then she was worse off than when we left her."

Now, the actual section focused on Lucille isn't the last time we'll hear about her, so let's skip ahead a bit.

This adds a bit more context to the earlier wording of her being "convinced" her mother abused her.

But the implications are a bit more terrifying to me. What was left out of this case study?

Lucille comes in experiencing chronic symptoms of DP/DR. She believes her mother abused her. The clinicians here seem to take the side of the mother in a peculiar way, describing Lucille's mother as "being unable to handle" the little girl.

After leaving therapy and coming back for a follow up, Lucille is saying, uncertainly, that the abuse she endured might not have happened.

Did the clinicians, as authority figures, also try to convince Lucille that her memories of abuse were false?

This feels extremely gaslighty to me.

This is actually a good practice. And is a huge problem I have with the anti-endo ideology is that it often encourages people to look for trauma to confirm systemhood. If you tell someone who is a system they need trauma to be a system, there is a real concern of them trying to fit themselves into that box.

But is the implication that Lucille fabricated her trauma after seeking treatment for DID, and never believed it prior? If so, that feels like an incredibly relevant detail to omit from your case study.

So their opinion, ultimately, is that these cases of "imitated DID" are fabricating trauma memories.

Essentially, this paper is advocating for False Memory Syndrome.

And worse, they admit there's no way to reliably assess suggestibility in these patients, since the authors claim the suggestibility is selective and the scale useless.

It comes down to the individual clinicians with their individual biases to determine who is or isn't an actual trauma survivor.

What is all of this REALLY about?

Now we get to the real point

While other parts of the paper pay lip service to helping patients, a large amount of it is focused on addressing malpractice complaints.

Here is some interesting wording. Shouldn't the interests of the patients be the priority of therapy?

I understand the intent behind this. But the wording presents an adversarial relationship between clinicians and hostile patients where clinicians are meant to act as judges and authority figures, and acting in the interests of the patients is "collusion."

Ideally, even if a patient were faking DID, giving them a more correct diagnosis would still be working in the best interests of the patients, right? At no point should acting in the patient's interest be presented as a bad thing as it is here.

Patients suing therapists over believed-malpractice are presented as seeking "attention and gratification."

I'd agree that it would be interesting to know what groups the suing patients fall into. But there would need to be a better way to make such an assessment.

Because if you're going to have cases like Sandra's, mentioned in the last post, where clinicians are forming biases based on her life history of self-medication with drugs and having an older boyfriend before they even observe her, this method isn't effective.

What would be really interesting to me is, if Sandra or Lucille had gone to another clinic, would the other clinics have judged their DID as being imitated? Or is this solely a result of the biases of these clinicians?

In contrast, would those clinics have judged other patients that this clinic said had "genuine" DID of having imitated DID.

Is there even the slightest bit of credence to this concept? Can it be consistently applied or is this just the opinions of one clinic being treated as gospel?

The goal of the whole paper is pushing False Memory Syndrome in a way that pushes responsibility from clinicians onto patients.

Over 20 years later, and this hypothesis is still groundless. Not just the hypothesis that those responsible for lawsuits are imitated DID cases, but even that second opinions could confirm their own case studies as being imitated DID.

This paper that started the "imitated DID" myth, the paper that led to the controversial McLean video, is based on nothing.

It was motivated not with the goal of helping patients with DID nor helping the patients they accuse of imitating DID, but by the self-interest of clinicians trying to protect themselves from malpractice complaints of patients they treat as hostile and adversarial.

[misc-obeyme]

CC, have you ever heard of precognitive/premonition dreams before? Basically, these are dreams that seemingly predict the future. I've had those "dreams" regularly while growing up until now. I drram certain situations, and then later in the future, the exact scenario occurs in real life. I almost never remember the dream until the event happened, and if I do, it's usually not in very good detail. They're sort of like snapshots, and whenever the event happens in real life, I am hit hard by a sense of deja vu. Days, weeks, or often months later, I'll just be living normally, and suddenly, I'll recall that I've "dreamed" the exact moment in the past.

So what if MC is the same...? Dreaming of the future events and then later occurring in real life. What if MC is a prophetic dreamer? And perhaps with their power getting stronger, they'll one day be able to dream of the future in great detail? I would probably ask Belphegor and/or Barbatos for advice.

Why yes, anon, I have indeed heard of such dreams. I've never experienced one the way you're describing it, though. In fact, I personally have only ever had one premonition dream and it wasn't that I was seeing what would happen, but rather depicting a really wild and exaggerated version of what would happen. Basically, I had a dream that I was house sitting for my sister. In the dream, her house was a mansion and had a huge basement that got completely flooded. The water was like a whole ocean and there were actual sharks in it. And then I house sat for my sister (in her normal sized house) and her basement flooded.

I'll also never forget the premonition dream my mom told me she had. She was taking a nap in the middle of the day and had a dream where she saw her father digging his own grave. She was woken up by the phone and it was someone calling to tell her that he'd passed away.

Anyway, so back to MC lol!

I definitely think Barbatos could help with navigating knowing the future. But Belphie could probably help with the dreams themselves. I wonder if Belphie ever has prophetic dreams? I bet he has a few times. And even if not, I think he could help soothe MC if they find the dreams too disturbing.

For instance, if MC's magic is getting stronger, thus strengthening the power of their dreams and allowing them to see the future in a lot of detail, they might find that it's too much for them. It could disturb their sleep enough that they no longer sleep well at all and it's just tossing and turning. It could be that they're only seeing a possible future or that they're seeing the future of multiple timelines as we know this game has those shenanigans to deal with, too.

Barbatos could give MC advice on how not to let their visions of the future control their actions in the present. Especially if MC also experiences time as a soup, what they see may or may not be relevant. And I think Barbatos would be able to help them sort of navigate the actual content of the dreams.

But I think Belphie would be able to help MC not have those dreams at all, if they didn't want them. Or if they've had a bunch of them and they need one night where they can rest peacefully. I'm imagining Belphie just cuddling into bed with MC and his presence alone is enough to sort of quiet that dream magic. But if it sneaks up, he's going to feel it and fight it. He might even go into MC's dream space himself so that he can keep those prophetic dreams at bay.

Maybe Belphie and Barbatos team up to determine the best way to help MC with these stronger premonition dreams. I can see Barbatos asking Belphie about the dream magic, wanting details about how it works so they can figure out how to counteract it.

In the end, they'll do whatever MC is most comfortable with of course. But I really love the idea of both of them protecting MC in their own way - Belphie by sleeping with them so he can protect them from those dreams and help them sleep and Barbatos by helping MC deal with the inevitable stress of seeing future events.

[domoz]

Had the thought that I rarely saw Itama incorporated into blessed eye AUs and it spiraled into a whole thing (fic)

They send Hikaku to tell him, because Hikaku is the only one of them who knows how to deliver bad news with anything resembling tact.

They've never acknowledged the awkwardness of the situation to his face. He's a Senju, he's their born enemy, and they're supposed to keep him safe and happy and content while at the same time keeping him away from his family, who they're constantly trying to kill.

Well -- they were trying to do that. Now they're trying to make peace with each other, and part of that had involved admitting that they'd had a Senju living, chakra sealed, in their compound for years. He would have loved to be a fly on the wall for that conversation, but he suspects he's only going to get any freedom after he gets moved into the village they've been building, and that really depends on how this reveal goes.

"I'm so sorry Itsuki-san" Hikaku bows deep to him, hiding a face that had, for a moment, twisted in genuine sympathy, "We informed them of your survival and they did not remember your name, nor the names of your family. Tobirama-san said he would look into the records, but in all likelihood --"

"It's alright." He cuts Hikaku off, turning to hide his own expression because he doesn't know what it will look like right now, "I suspected as much."

They think his brothers are dead, and they're not really wrong. Kenta and Jiro have never existed. Technically Itsuki doesn't either, though he's been using that name for so long that he thinks of it as his own more often than he doesn't these days.

His brothers are fine, and he knows it, because Hikaku just mentioned one of them and he certainly would have heard if something had happened to the other. The Uchiha had thrown a whole celebration when they'd killed his father, he doesn’t doubt that someone would at least come tell him if they'd killed Hashirama, too.

"I'd still like to see my clan again." He lets his voice shake, though its nerves, not sadness like he's sure Hikaku assumes, "Is there any way you could get me to see the head?"

He could probably tell them who he really is. In fact, he probably should, but he can't perfectly predict what their reactions will be. They probably won't stop him from seeing his brothers again, but they could, so it's not worth the risk.

Everyone will be mad anyways, waiting probably isn't going to make it any worse.

"Oh that's no problem Itsuki-san," He looks over and finds himself matching Hikaku's weak smile with one of his own, "he practically insisted."

---

Everyone had been reasonably sure that the Senju weren't going to harm one of their own, but 'everyone' only includes Izuna rarely, and never when he's being paranoid and nosy. His demand to act as an escort is as annoying as it is familiar, but it does have it's benefits. For one he doesn't even have to ask Izuna to try and get them there unseen, and for the other Itama is going to get to see the look on his face when he realizes exactly who he is.

The house doesn't look anything like he remembers it, but it shouldn't, considering it's an entirely different building. There are a few similarities in style, though, and he'd bet that they brought over the old shoji screens and fusuma panels -- but he can't say for certain. All the wood looks new, and it makes his throat close up; not for any nostalgia, but because he can see all the little flourishes and details, and Hashirama had hardly been capable of growing the flower that he'd been meaning to when they were kids. He knows that people apparently call his brother the God of Shinobi, that a house isn't even on the low end of what he's capable of now, but they'd all been just stories. The house is real and his brothers are inside and somehow he's only realizing just now that he's got no idea what he's going to say to them.

Itama runs his hand over the wood of the nearest post and swallows hard, looking helplessly at Izuna who has his arms folded, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"I'm sure he knows we're here." Izuna grouses, "…Tobirama, I mean."

"...I know who you mean." Itama's response comes out a little to weak to be a tease.

Izuna reaches out to knock on the wall and announce their presence regardless. He's was right, though, because the door slides open only a few moments later.

To his great shame, Itama doesn't recognize his brother on first sight.

Time has apart has eroded away at his memories. Hashirama was always kind to him, even when he wasn't patient, and he smiled a lot, but Itama can't remember his face. He can't remember Tobirama's either, but his mind always conjures up a smear of white and red. The man who opens the door isn't colored like that at all.

Tobirama never used to wear the disguise he'd made for them at home -- a deceptively simple seal to darken their hair and eyes, the first one he'd ever mastered so they stood a chance of leaving the compound and being as useful as everyone else. He would always complain about the waste of chakra and deactivate it as soon as he deemed it safe. With it on, he looks like a perfectly generic Senju man: tan skin, dark brown hair and darker brown eyes.

Those dark eyes flicker over Izuna for a brief moment before landing on him and going wide. Izuna chastises him about something -- genjutsu? Something Tobirama just did with his chakra, which Itama still can't feel thanks to the seal on the back of his neck. They don't acknowledge him.

Itama hesitates because it truly takes him a moment to recognize who he's looking at, because his mouth has gone dry and his heart too fast. But even then, he recovers faster than Tobirama, who's gone deathly still.

"Hey, Tobi-nii." Itama's voice comes out rough. He tries for a smile, but in return Tobirama makes a choked off noise, he reaches out, but drops his hand before they touch, fingers twitching. He could have just been run through with a sword and the expression on his face wouldn't look out of place.

"Tobi-nii?" Izuna's voice interrupts them, high and shrill. Itama glances over and knows that he doesn’t really get it yet, doesn't believe it, or doesn't want to. Tobirama's eyes snap to him too.

"Whatever you're doing to seal his chakra, get it off him right now." He's furious. His voice cracks but it makes him sound more like the moments before a glacier breaks apart and starts and avalanche than anything weak.

Izuna whines in response, high pitched and confused.

"Tobi-nii?" He asks again, but does actually scramble to obey, for once. Obey Tobirama, which Itama knows will be a novelty to remember. He bites his thumb deep enough to draw blood and Itama easily bends his head forward enough to allow access to the seal. It's only a temporary solution, Itama knows, he'd managed to convince some Uchiha to do it for him a time or two, when the seal was still new and the sensation of having his chakra bound was still uncomfortable, but it's enough, for now.

The unfamiliar feeling of someone else's presence floods back, a sensation so nostalgic it makes heat prickle behind Itama's eyes. His brothers always had so much more chakra than him, and the disparity has only grown worse since he hasn't been able to train with his in years.

The feeling of Tobirama's chakra wrapping around his, prodding at it, checking it over, is as overwhelming as it ever was. Comforting, too.

"Itama." Tobirama breathes, jerking forward, "Otouto."

They're nearly the same height now, but Tobirama's hug engulfs him all the same. Tight enough that Itama can feel the tremble in his limbs, can feel the damp seep through his clothes where his older brother has buried his face in his shoulder and -- oh, he knows his memory has holes, but Tobirama never cried, did he? He always seemed so strong but the sight of him is enough to have him shaking apart and --

Itama feels the guilt creep in. He missed his brothers, he really had, but…

He'd been under surveillance, yes, and chakra bound, but deep down he knows that he didn't try to get back to them as hard as he should have. It was just… Easier. The Uchiha treated him kindly, for the most part. They didn't expect him to kill anyone, didn't try yell at him for feeling sad in front of them. The longer he stayed with them, the harder it was to think about leaving and going back and having to fight them. And then -- they'd managed to make peace, and he didn't have to, which is great, it really is, but up till now he'd been telling himself that his brothers were so strong that they could get by without him. That they'd grieve and move on and probably be better for it, not having to defend their weak baby brother all the time.

But all the time he'd spent in that plush cage, he'd known they were alive. And they'd thought, really thought, he was dead.

His tongue is too heavy behind his teeth to find the words for it, and before he can try there's another voice.

"Hey, Tobi, is that our guest or --"

Hashirama stops mid sentence, cutting himself off with a low, wounded sound.

He's gotten stupidly tall, Itama notes absently, and he grew out his hair, and even has the beginning of wrinkles around his mouth and eyes.

Itama didn't recognize his voice.

Itama swallows painfully, works his throat enough to croak out, "Hey, Hashi-nii."

Izuna whimpers. No one pays him any mind.

"Itama?" Hashirama says, looking and sounding faint. "I thought --- we didn't hope --"

"When they told us they had a Senju we didn't dare hope--" Tobirama's voice, still muffled in his shoulder, catches. "Even once we found out about the eyes, I knew that you were in disguise. I thought--"

He breaks off, somehow squeezing impossibly tighter.

Itama's eyes are locked over his shoulder on Hashirama, who's tears are already starting to run over his cheeks and onto the ground.

"It failed when I ran out of chakra." Itama's voice has fallen to a hoarse whisper, "They uh -- stopped. When they realized. Captured me instead. I--"

Hashirama been approaching him slowly, as if he were a frightened animal, but he's finally close enough to reach out and cradle Itama's face in his hands. The burning behind his eyes finally gives way and Itama sobs.

"I'm sorry." He wheezes, "I-- I'm--"

"Oh, otouto, no." Hashirama circles around and pulls them both into another hug, but his voice is wavering too, "Whatever it is, you don't have to apologize for surviving, okay?"

None of them resist when Hashirama pulls them all down to sit on the ground right there on the engawa. He's buried his face in Itama's hair, and Itama can feel his lips moving over and over again in some silent prayer.

It's not the first time they've sat like this, he remembers now. The night after Kawarama's funeral--

He stops paying attention who how long they sit there, content and comfortable with the way they've surrounded him.

Itama thinks Tobirama must have gotten control of himself first, he's stopped trembling, but he seems content not to move just yet. Hepulls himself together with a few heaving breaths -- his arms are too pinned to wipe his face, so he does it on Tobirama's shirt instead, and doesn't get a single complaint for it.

They have… A lot to catch up on, he thinks. Them more than him, because his days tend to blend into a lot of reading and crafting and poking at Uchiha -- he stopped pretending he was looking for weaknesses years ago too, but he's a little less ashamed about that. He never wanted anyone to die, even before he got caught.

He glances up from his brothers shoulder and locks eyes with Izuna. He's not remotely surprised that he's stayed but the picture he paints, stiff and uncomfortable, leaning on the wall of the house and looking as far from casual as a man can get. It is, admittedly, a funny image.

"You're name isn't Itsuki." Izuna accuses, frown etched deep. Tobirama turns his head, and whatever look he shoots Izuna has him looking faintly green.

"…I don't think you can go by a something for a decade and a half and not have it become your name, at least a little." Itama ribs tiredly. But gods, he's so exhausted already, and he hasn't even gotten to any of the arguments he knows are going to happen, "But, I know that's not what you're asking, so… Uh… No. My name is Senju Itama."

He doesn't explain anything more. His brothers are still wrapped around him, so he's pretty sure he doesn't have to.

Surprisingly, it's Hashirama who speaks next, voice so controlled and even that it sounds threatening.

"Your clan," He says, "Has been holding my little brother prisoner for years. I really don't know what to do about that, to be honest!"

"He's --" Izuna sputters, going all prickly defensive in the face of the head and heir of the Senju clan staring him down with murderous intent, "We told you, alright? We protect people like him, even from their own clans who think sending out a kid to run messages in a war zone is a smart idea!"

Tobirama actually growls in response, and Itama sighs. He had been hoping to avoid this for a while longer at least, but…

"No one do anything stupid." He punctuates his point by knocking his shoulders into each of his brother's in turn. "They didn't treat me badly after taking me, and they didn't know who I was."

He'd had nearly all of the freedoms of any other blessed one by the end of the first year, and no one had been particularly unkind to him even before then. Most Uchiha considered him a victim of the Senju more than they did person from the clan.

"They sealed your chakra!" Tobirama protests.

"He was still a Senju!" Izuna insists, "Of course we couldn't let him--"

"You're not helping!" Itama cuts him off cheerfully. "My point is, that since the clans at peace now, I'm not a prisoner anymore, right?"

Izuna really doesn’t have the authority to make that decision, but putting him on the spot to flounder over it is as funny as Itama hoped it would be.

"Uh." He says gracefully, "Uh, I--"

"We're not giving him back." Hashirama announces, forcefully enough to shake Izuna from his stupor.

"Wh-- Now hold on." He scowls, "He's still our responsibility, you can't--"

"He's our family." Tobirama all but snarls, "Who you took, you're the one who can't--"

"I think," Itama starts and marvels at the way everyone's attention turns to him, "That this is a great argument for why I should get to move into the village, no?"

Hashirama laughs, loud and booming and still wet with tears. He leans over to rest his cheek on top of Itama's head.

"Yes." He agrees, "Yes, I think it is."

[leonawriter]

I'm sure I've said this before some time in the past, but- there's certain ships that since they have no foundation in canon and one or more of the two are already canonically attracted in a monogamous way to someone else... I tend not to feel any sense of attachment to the fandom portrayal of them, because usually (not always! just often enough that it sticks in my head) the impression I get is that fanon erases the pre-existing attraction one or either of them has, in order to make things more... simple. Or something. So I see that, and I lose interest.

But the thing is, if the fanworks I see accept and address the fact that one or more of the people in the ship used to be attracted to/in love with someone else? I'd be WAY more likely to get on board the ship!

It does several things for me.

One: It doesn't disregard canon in a way that makes me feel like certain things are being retconned purely for the fan-preferred/author's ship. Often I'm a fan of how things actually go in the canon, or I just use it as a base point of reference, so if something's been thrown out and it feels arbitrary... that's off-putting.

Two: it keeps their core personality traits intact. This might sound weird, but it's a fact that who we are changes depending on who we're most interested in at any given time. If a character has been seen crushing on someone so badly that they base parts of their own personality on matching someone else, that's not something you can or should easily ignore, given how big of an effect that is. And when it comes to relationships, you'll notice that the vibes they give off shift how the characters act and are written/portrayed. Some pairings with one character have them be soft, while others have them sharper.

Three: I enjoy seeing characters go "I used to like [x], those feelings were real, but [I moved on]/[they don't like me back, so I had to move on] and now I've started to like someone else." I like to see that sense of progression. Especially if the canon has them all as teens, it's more realistic to have not all of them create their livelong commitments in the course of one year when they're 16! Some, sure, it's fun - but not all. Let them make mistakes, break up, move on, find someone else.

Four: It... honestly adds nuance and depth to the characters - both in a pairing - if they're shown moving on, and/or attracted to someone who either still has feelings for another person, or who's moved on. Give them a bit of time. A bit more maturity. As said above, not everyone finds true love at 16 or so. Having that happen is simple, it's cute, and it's kind of like a fairy tale - but there are other ways to have it work out without making it love at first sight.

But really. How do they feel about this? How does the first person feel about how long they've had someone feel that way about them? Is there a dance of "the last time we knew each other you were still tagging after [other person], are you available now?" or is it more "I want to attempt asking them out, but I'm too nervous in case it's not wanted" when at this point, it'd be welcomed?

Have Character A be there for Character B when they've realised they'll never be with C!

Maybe they even just see each other as "just friends" for the longest time, until someone goes "doesn't your idea of a perfect partner sound like [A]?" and it's the first time they've thought of that.

And in the case of both of them having previously been attracted to the same person (no matter how much or how little), there's the evergreen "oh fun, we can roast [C] together now!"

So like... so many of those ships aren't even bad. I just wish I could see them having gone through a progression from "where they're at in canon" to "where they're at crushing on someone other than their canonical crush/love interest" more, y'know? Even if it's just handwaved as having happened in the past!

[copperbadge]

Hey so… i donated a good amount to avatarpyler but they’re still reblogging the same post saying no one has donated yet. Are you sure they are legit?

I vet the people who go into Radio Free Monday as much as I'm able, but a lot of the time I don't know them personally -- I rely on the fact that we're a small community who know each other. I weed out the obvious scam artists, but I do also give the benefit of the doubt simply because the worst thing when you're already having to ask people for help is to then be made to show your credentials.

So, in this case, they were submitted anonymously, and I gave them a scroll because they were reblogging their fundraising post a lot. But they had some other content too and seem to have had a pre-existing fannish account, and nothing pinged me as overly suspicious. Constant reblogs of fundraising posts is not how I would go about the thing but it is common in some corners of Tumblr, I've seen it before. It's possible they queued those posts before you gave, or reblogged before they saw the donation, or they simply don't have the spoons to alter the post (I often see people whose fundraising posts are out of date simply because they've found it too exhausting to update).

But honestly, it's also possible they're running a scam. It's hard to know without actually knowing the person behind the tumblr. To my mind, if someone's running a tumblr scam then they probably need the money anyway, but they could also be trying to take advantage of a trusting community. If that's the case I'm really sorry. I try not to steer people wrong, but every so often one like that gets through. Probably your best bet to find out is to reach out and ask them if they got your donation, to make a connection and see what happens.

It sucks to feel like you've been taken advantage of, it sucks to feel that way when it happens to me and I pass it on to others. But I think it's also important to remember that when we give, we give with open hearts because we want to help. Someone else scamming you for a donation does not mean you didn't do a good thing: you gave to help someone you thought needed it. If they didn't need it, that's between them and whatever judgement awaits them.

So yeah -- you have all the data I have, nothing went into the RFM form that didn't make it into the RFM post. I can't say for absolute certain who they are or what they want or need, but unless I get pretty hard proof I err on the side of inclusion.

[serenanymph]

wip intro - beast, witch's book

Five long, excruciating seconds pass. Bit by bit, Icarus pulls Crys up, till they’re both collapsed and wheezing in the snow, safe on the clifftop, the Witchrisen far below them. “Well,” Icarus says, still out of breath, and he eyes the last of the rope as it goes over the side, eliciting an angry shriek a moment later when the Witchrisen finds no prey on the other end. “That was not fun. Thanks for the save, though, uh…” He turns towards the hooded figure, packing away the short length of rope they’d manage to hack off and salvage into a small satchel sitting in the snow. “Oh, don’t thank me,” they grouse, “ruined my day and my rope. What I want to know” – they whirl, finally tugging down their hood to reveal the freckled, scowling face of a young girl – “is just what the fuck did you do to piss of a Witchrisen that size?”

GENRE: YA high fantasy

POV: third person, multiple, present tense

STATUS: ongoing (first draft)

FEATURES:

flashbacks. tragedy. tragedy flashbacks

we got snow. we got mountains. we got more snow

secrets!!!

more magic, shapeshifting, undead creatures

the Journey continues

mine tunnels, mysterious underground labs, auctions

basically ten thousand different things because I'm overambitious but it's going to look cool. promise

(synopsis, characters and other stuff under cut. it's a lil long)

SYNOPSIS:

The Khujsa Mountains. Cold, unforgiving, and housing one of the Anti-Magic Army's biggest strongholds, it might also just be the most dangerous place anywhere in the country, especially for Beasts.

After a week of travelling, Crys and Icarus have finally reached the Elai Pass. From there, they're supposed to pass through to Riel, and then it's (mostly) smooth sailing all the way to Tel, where Icarus's contact resides.

But upon arrival, they find that things may not be as easy as they seem.

A Beast rebellion group. A Halfling in the AMA. And a young, brash girl who seems to hate the AMA just as much as she hates Beasts, and who certainly has something of her own to hide. Throw that onto the fact that Elai is an AMA stronghold, add in a Knight Captain from the Order of Klysmos, plus sprinkle in the hint of a conspiracy…well, they've certainly got their work cut out for them.

On the other end, after an equally stressful two weeks, Beatriz Das-Reille has finally reached Crys's village… just to find out Icarus is already long gone. However, she soon gets her own set of problems to worry about - joining up with Dahlia Reistveil brings to light that a certain poacher group has come back to town, and that this entire operation may run deeper than she's ever imagined. Does she go after Ink, now that she knows where he is? Or does she pursue this deeper and unearth what's going on, despite the risk it brings and the fact that she'll have to abandon her original goal?

Crys had picked to save someone in the face of an impossible choice. Icarus just wants to get home. Beatriz had never asked for any of this, and Dahlia only wants to do the right thing, but  one thing is true for all of them.

No matter their intentions at first, they've just been pulled into something that might be far bigger than them - and if they aren't careful, that something will swallow them whole. No country is without its secrets, after all, and Kosei has quite the number of skeletons in her closet…

POV CHARACTERS

Crys Averwell - 16, human, archer. sharp tongue and even sharper wit. walking personification of "I'm fine", needs sleep and therapy but is getting neither because I keep putting him in Situations

Icarus "Ink" Kal-Nira - 17, Beast (Crow), dual-wielder. ray of sunshine and genuinely the nicest person to ever exist. giant golden retriever energy. Trying His Best

Dahlia Reistveil - 17, human, daughter of a tavern-owner. Crys's childhood friend. often seen as the Mature One, but underneath all that she has a boatload of her own Issues

Beatriz Das-Reille - 16, Beast (Crow), Icarus's sort-of-but-not-really-little-sister. fast flier, wields a rapier, and is made up of only anxiety and more anxiety.

+

Rhyme - 14, human (???), apothecary from the mountains with a lot to hide. picks all her herbs and medicines directly from the wild so she knows her way around. extremely angry. will make your ears bleed

Carrick "Sol" Solder - 15, Halfling (Wolf), soldier in the AMA. commonly known as the Witchhunter's Mutt. often addressed as either "Sol" or "soldier". anger issues 2.0, never stops arguing with Rhyme the instant he meets her

taglist: @sapphos-scientist, @allianaavelinjackson

gen tag, wip tag

okay so my wip intros are kind of a mess right now, and I still haven't made a page for beast, but since I'm working on book 2 right now and there are a lot more new characters, I figured I should at least attempt to clear up some of the future confusion.

anyway, this is the wip intro for book 2, and there's another one here that's more a mashup intro between the overall series and book 1...? yeah I'm gonna remake that. just bear with me here I don't really know what I'm doing. also!!! there is a taglist now!!! let me know if you want to be added, not like I'm really sure how it should work.

[redstringraven]

oop forgot to say

25 & 16 was for nyxram

>:D aaa, thank you so much!!! appreciate it! 💜

edgy/misc OC ask meme

16) what is your OC's pain tolerance like?

i imagine it's disturbingly high... to what's, like, probably an unhealthy amount. triceratons are tanks as a whole already*--due to their size, thick skin, and high-temperature tolerance--and here you have one who likely finds more nostalgia in certain pains than she does foods, smells or music (she didn't even grow up with access to music, so). yeah, nyxram is definitely one of those people where like. if you shoot her, you better know it's going to kill her. otherwise all you'll have managed to do is irritate her at best and piss her off at worst. she's not going to go down unless she's either dead or her body just physically gives out on her. which, again: not easy to do with triceratons in general. ...nyx could be standing in the meeting room bleeding from her side and be more concerned with excusing herself so she doesn't stain the floor or equipment than, y'know. the fact she has an open wound in her side. *they're hella nerfed in-series imo, and i'm gonna blame that on zanramon because he's there; don't @ me (lh)

25) what is your favorite thing about your OC?

gosh... i have a few, but for brevity i think i'll say: i love that she's a morally-gray character and also that because of the background i've given her, it's given me an opportunity to play with different approaches to triceraton combat and weaponized tech. like, post-rebellion nyx struggles with falling into old habits or old ways of thinking; she finds herself eavesdropping on her squad or traximus when she's quietly seeking '''moral guidance'''. she's a person who grew up in extreme isolation with, essentially, two serial-killers-for-hire as parents/teachers, raised and forged to kill. she had enough of a compass to realize she wanted out of that life, but now that she's out? she's having to learn, relearn, and unlearn all sorts of things. and there're times she falters; close as they've gotten, she and traximus butt heads about plenty of things. trax often wants to do things right. nyx often wants to get them done. it can be a lot of fun to think about how she might have moments of pause and internal struggle when it comes to choosing to listen to traximus or a squad member over something and trust their judgement, or if she chooses to solve the problem in a way she knows "worked" for her in the past. she hasn't been 'fixed' or made 'right' now that the external conflict of the old republic and rebellion has passed. the internal conflict is still very much there, and it's an interesting thing to get to explore. as for the combat/tech elements, i'm still trying to re-design nyx's suit to better reflect her as an assassin while also leaning a bit more into a scifi greek/roman-inspired look instead of something more based in the triceraton soldier's uniform, personalized tech included. i also want her to have a very distinct way she holds herself when ""working"" that makes her appear even more alien compared to the postures of triceraton soldiers. like, the ones we see in-series hold themselves similarly to how soldiers as we know them might--straight posture, kinda stiff, upright, grounded footing, etc. but when i picture nyxram, i tend to see her with her weight more on her toes/balls of her feet, and her posture slightly hunched with a wider stance. ...more 'dinosaur' or bird-like elements to her gait, presence, and overall silhouette, making her intimidating in a new and different way. "i've never seen a triceraton move like that", other races might mutter. ...some triceratons, too.

[ikemenomegas]

Can I ask about Satoru kinks?

Ofc, answer when you'll have some more time 🧡

hi! yeah XD I got this when I was traveling so I did not have time. Thank you for your patience. I have been trying to answer this question myself for a very long time so you're finally forcing me to put words to paper T.T, we hate making decisions

Satoru isn't primarily "kinky" but he is adventurous and endlessly curious. In a way, it's easier to say what he won't try/hasn't liked...

Bondage is a no-go from a rational standpoint, Satoru also isn't that comfortable being in a vulnerable position he can't get out of. He does however like being able to get away and either being forced (read manhandled) or choosing not to.

Also not a fan of any kind of weapon play, they've just never struck him as romantic or sexual thing - he knows it can be sensual but he's always grown up with these kinds of things as tools to kill, it would make him uncomfortable for either him or you to put that next to one another's skin. Role playing something that needs a sword/other weapon dance though, that's hot and he'd be down to be either the audience or the dancer.

He likes for you to touch him, which means gloves are not a turn on for him, not unless they're coming off at some point.

Which leads into the first actual "kink". I think I've mentioned this before, but he likes the power dynamic of you wearing clothes and him not. It gives you access to as much of him as you can possibly reach. Even if he has to take a break and pull Infinity between you for a minute, it still lets him feel like he's present in an intimate moment with you.

I also don't think he's into degradation. He gets enough of people yelling and being annoyed with him in his work life. When he's with you, it feels good to be good for you, and to know that you approve, that there aren't wrong choices, there's someone listening to him and who he can listen to. He's kind of into dirty talk though - call him a messy boy, tell him what you're going to do to him right before you do it. Talking during sex also gives him a window in which to redirect things if he decides he needs them to go a different direction. Go along with him, he likes the push and pull.

If you start edging Satoru, you're going to find him trying to take control of the situation, unless you can convince him otherwise. Unlike at least one other certain character who prefers to ride the high as long as possible because he doesn't get a very acute sense of relief from coming, Satoru is not used to being denied, not used to waiting. Coming once makes him hungry for more, and even though he'll indulge you for the sake of listening to you, his obedience and patience aren't going to last long if you insist on bringing him to the edge without fulfillment too many times, and definitely not for the sake of torment. Satoru has found he rather enjoys overstimulation - the place where pleasure pushes even further into more, into more sensation, into finally sating his need for being both aware and comfortably drifting.

Other than that, I think he genuinely enjoys gentleness. It surprises him, the first time you are so delicate with him. He should be used to it, you're just like this. You wouldn't even hit him the first time he came at you telegraphing all intention to kill. But it's never denial. It's just a stepping aside, like the way you fight. It's parrying the sharp point of his wants, redirecting the force of him until you finally come at him head-on, meeting him and matching him. As much as he likes it though, the inherent vulnerability of allowing you to be gentle with him is disarming, often becomes too much.

When you're new to one another physically, he can latch onto the fact that your way of learning his body is also very much about you not wanting to do harm and wanting to make it good for him. Once you know him though, it's often uncomfortably overwhelming - he feels too exposed being "known". You learn to pepper in different paces and emotions so it's not always Satoru pulling away when you get too close to the underdeveloped, emotional part of him. He always wants it, that vaseline focus of yours, one of the few remaining places in your heart soft enough for him to lodge deep like a thorn, but he won't often let you give it to him. Sometimes though, just sometimes, that's the only thing he wants and needs and he finally lets you make love to him.

[rainbowsky]

Hello there, I’m a new turtle and I want to ask if it’s always this quiet whenever GG is filming a drama, I mean in terms of his other activities (going to events, shows etc.)? I guess I was hoping to catch him in a live event or something. I read that in the previous years he attended one of the new year’s eve celebrations but not 2022’s. Hope to see him perform live soon. I love when he sings.

Enjoy reading your blog, thank you.

Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛

Thanks for your kind words, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 😊

I understand your feeling. I've been missing him too. I know a lot of people are. Often with both GG and DD it's very 'feast and famine'. We'll go through periods of time where we hardly see them and then suddenly one or the other of them will have a ton of appearances or projects airing. I trust this will happen with GG.

I do miss seeing him perform live, I miss his healing voice. I miss the appearances and photo sets. I miss seeing him on the red carpet. I miss, I CRY, I DIE, not hearing his voice or seeing him sing.

It's definitely not 'normal', how little we've seen of him in those contexts lately. I can't help but feel the elephant in the room is growing bigger each day. There are a lot of theories why he's been so scarce, but ultimately no one knows for sure.

I think the fact that he has recorded material that hasn't been aired (I'm thinking of the leaked festival gala recording here), implies that he is at least being invited and intends to make those kinds of appearances, but for some reason it doesn't reach the final product.

If he's being invited, if he's accepting, if he's recording the material and it doesn't end up airing, there aren't many areas left where that could be breaking down. It's unlikely he would change his mind about appearing and ask for his performance to be pulled from final airing. It seems unlikely production would not want to air something they've already fully recorded and edited.

That leaves censorship and official approval, which to me seems the most likely area where this is breaking down. It's a big part of why I get so pissed off about bad fan behavior. Officials have made it clear that they will hold stars accountable for fan behavior, so it's critically important that fans behave well.

He's obviously not banned or cancelled, but there's plenty of grey area where he could be falling through the cracks - where his ability to do certain things or appear at certain events could be curtailed. He could have been made aware - or have decided for himself - that he must lie low given the climate he's in.

Ultimately we really don't know why GG isn't appearing at galas and events like he used to, but I don't buy that it's because he no longer wants to sing or perform live, or that he's 'focusing on acting' or whatever the line is people keep giving. I get that he might want to pull away from the idol thing a bit, but that wouldn't prevent him from doing the kind of performances he's given in the past.

He loves singing, he does it everywhere he goes. He does it in the car, he does it during his downtime between scenes or at photo shoots, etc. etc. He loves the stage. He performed songs in college before he ever entered the industry. It's his first love. So (AFAIAC) of course he wants to give us more of that.

I trust that we will see him perform again, but who knows how long we will have to wait? In the meantime I will just patiently trust that he's doing what's best for his career, and I will enjoy what he does bring us. And I will continue to have faith that he will bring us more when the time is right for him.

As a new turtle you might also find my masterlist post helpful.

[lauvra]

This is partly for me and partly for you. Just because someone has seen a side of you you're ashamed of doesn't mean you should prune that relationship / friendship. To attempt to surround yourself with only people who've seen you at your most generous, successful and witty, intelligent, ambitious, attractive and considerate is to avoid the kind of intimacy vital to achieving real connection with other human beings because we're all gross and weird, say the wrong things, can be cruel, mean and stupid, get wasted and knock each other down like dominoes and insecure and regress oh the regression by God the regression so just let people see you ugly and if you're so blessed that they will; let them accept you when you crawl back with your tail between your legs so they have someone they know will accept them when God forbid they have an ugly moment, that's how friendship works. Understand your feelings - when you have strong ones, ask yourself why they're fucking happening. Don't just ignore them. It'll all happen again with someone else, somewhere else. No, don't prune yourself. I see you.

My mum would always tell me that feelings aren't facts and that statement felt less and less malicious as I got older and independently learned that the way I feel shouldn't justify acting out against others no matter how strong my emotions are because my emotions are often residuals from the past; sort of inherited reactions. But I think it's too dismissive and I want to add that that doesn't mean they aren't 'true' though, in an important way and it certainly doesn't mean they should be ignored or pushed to the side. They rise again precisely because they're mismanaged. We often only learn to manage them through maladapted attempts to overcome them, it's fine. Whether the mismanagement is in repeatedly treating them as presently true and forming habits that keep a certain cycle alive or swallowing the emotion and finding that wow the problem doesn't change, even when the environment does or the characters participating do. Maybe I'm being too vague or not vague enough, I guess the reason I'm thinking about this if I can be clearer is that sometimes I have a 'reaction' to people and I convince myself that they're the issue; because I want them to be the issue. I can acknowledge that. Even if they haven't reacted badly to me, if they've seen me in a negative light I want to push them away before they can do it when I'm in a weakened state of assumed safety. Yeah it's all pretty obvious. AM I MAKING SENSE?????? I FIND IT SO HARD TO MAKE FRIENDS BECASUE IM SO EMBARRASSED ALL THE TIME ABOUT WHO I AM FUNDAMENTALLY BUT THEY LOVE ME. THEY'VE LOVED ME PUKING ON THEIR FLOORS, THEY'VE LOVED ME SCREAMING DOWN THE STREET, THEY'VE LOVED ME BROKE AND IN DEBT TO THEM, THEY'VE LOVED ME UGLY AND THEY'VE LOVED ME OBNOXIOUS AND WHEN I'VE REFUSED TO ANSWER THE PHONE let them love you ( i AM telling MYSELF) BECAUSE YOU ARE ALSO ALL THE GOOD THINGS AND THEY KNOW THAT AND THEY HOPE YOU KNOW THAT ABOUT THEM WHEN THEY'RE ANNOYING TOO