#in reference to the setup he has in his apartment for these things

[panhelleniios]

ok thinking about herc's godly senses again and. he's used to prayers these days being from people in dire circumstances because he's sort of a forgotten last-resort deity on people's lists. (do I still encourage people to fuck around and pray to him for nonsense / just to get a hold of him? yes.) BUT. regular old verbal or mental prayer is just one way to do it. it's the standard as of late — you pray to him or for a hero with some intent, and he might hear it.

the more direct you are that it's to him (and not just any god that will hear you), the more likely he is to hear it. however he can't really tell who's praying to him. it's directional. he can sense the vague area that it's coming from, and can find his way to the source just by a sort of extrasensory navigation.

if you go the extra mile and have an offering — be it burned, left at an altar, or dumped into the ground (though he'd prefer you do it with non-alcoholic offerings, please), it makes the sense a bit stronger. gives him an idea of who's doing it, lets him hear more directly and sometimes see what's going on, depending on how long you keep it up.

[caldella]

Blitzø & Eye Trauma:

I think it's a very deliberate setup

Fan theory time for me again! Apologies in advance because looking up the screenshots/writing the text for this one was a massive shot of angst. A couple of these scenes are ones I still find hard to rewatch.

Some of you very observant folks here have pointed out that Blitzø seems to have trauma revolving around eyes. Specifically, that Martha's death seemed to trigger it, and not having someone to comfort him afterward (like M&M had) probably exacerbated how poorly he internalized it...

(Who TF here first pointed out him being upset and hugging himself back in the office because I found it from one of you and didn't see it myself omg)

Even though he pretended it didn't affect him, it did. Heavily. To an extent that Martha was the only one of I.M.P.'s hits that Blitzø was seen apologizing to in Apology Tour...

And the references to the eyeball loss and lack of comfort showed up as traumatic hallucinations/memories in Ghostfuckers. At least two of the "potential death" Millies included eye trauma. He tried to find comfort in the hallucination of his mother, only for her to catch fire where he touched her (a representation of his guilt for causing her death, and self-loathing at destroying people he loves). The eyeball imagery was blended in with her skull pendant and the general symbolism of her death, along with his inability to stop it or apologize for it.

Basically, he has a lot of trauma-related emotions that the eye loss seems to symbolize. It might partly reflect on his own face injury in the fire. But ultimately, it's tied to his own mother's death: the one person he most wishes he could apologize to and help but will never be able to.

I think the eye trauma concept isn't just a choice they made just to tie to the pendant and his mom - it's a deliberate choice to link things together in the future.

Because some of you very observant folks ALSO pointed out how the show subtly displayed his mother and Stolas as visually similar from his viewpoint:

And we know Blitzø really only processed that Stolas can get hurt in the last few episodes. It's only the last few episodes that he's come to terms with Stolas being someone he can't fathom losing and will fall apart without. The one person he actually wanted to apologize to in Apology Tour.

That's obviously already been tested/laid bare in Mastermind, when he thought Stolas was going to die. But there's another element here.

Part of the Stolitz Apology Tour argument included accidentally admitting that he knew about Striker's first assassination attempt and didn't say anything. Up until AT and the following episodes, part of his struggle to fully process that Stolas can get hurt was because of how terrifying that concept was for him. He was heavily in his "I hurt anyone who cares about me" mentality, and it was so much easier to convince himself that Stolas' status/immortality was above needing Blitzø or being impacted by anything he did. In his panic/denial, he claimed there was no way Stolas could've needed his help - he should've been fine handling Striker on his own. (Gawd Stolas' face in this forever breaks my heart: "holy shit he really doesn't care")

These situations are tied together because of how the conflict with Striker went in Western Energy.

Because during Striker's attack/torture, after Stolas' death was already called off, he aimed for a very specific form of mutilation that was only prevented by M&M intervening:

He literally planned to cut out Stolas' eyes.

Like HELLO?!!! HOLY SHIT?!!

The attack Blitzø convinced himself Stolas wouldn't need him for almost ended with a repeat of his biggest trauma trigger.

And I think this is going to come back at some point. While I think one of the next incidents with Striker is going to involve Via being in danger, and I still vote that I want Stolas to be the actual one who takes down Striker, I think this IS going to be a full circle situation. I think Striker is going to bring this up. Because if he puts Via and/or Stolas in danger, this isn't going to be a Western Energy situation where Blitzø isn't there. And Striker is going to be his egotistical self; he's possibly going to gloat about how close Stolas came to death and claim he's going to make good on taking the "trophy" he wanted before he was interrupted. Maybe he'll actually attempt it, too.

Blitzø is not going to take it well that someone wants to hurt the guy he calls his heart, in the exact manner he associates with his own mother's death, which he already blames himself for.

There's no way Blitzø is going to be able to be level-headed. I think he's going to take it rather personally that this almost happened, and he tried to act like Stolas didn't need him? I don't think he's going to express it verbally to Stolas or anyone (not how he functions), but if he puts these two puzzle pieces together, he's going to flip his shit. He's over his denial, he's overcoming some of his self-loathing, and he's understanding that he can make his loved ones' lives better by being present and being himself. He is not going to actually have to repeat the fire trauma because he can help this time, and he sure as fuck isn't going to blow the situation off. And at the end of it, Stolas will still be there alive to hold on to.

Stolas' situation is partly a full reversal of the circus fire trauma. He's a person Blitzø couldn't bear to lose, lost, but actually got back. Blitzø has an opportunity to build something better with him, to make up for any hurt he's caused, and to say/do all the things he couldn't before. He's been doing that since the end of Mastermind. It isn't going to stop, and I think this is potentially going to be one more parallel along the way. One more "nobody around me is getting hurt like this again so long as I'm alive to try and stop it."

[avelera]

Hi I just wanted to say that you have the best Arcane takes/meta and literally never miss!! I swear I’ve reblogged at least five of your posts so I can save them for fic references. Out of curiosity, what’s a take/analysis you’ve wanted to talk about but haven’t been asked before?

Thank you so much! And hmm, that's an interesting question. A lot of the meta I have in my head about Arcane is less ship-y stuff, so I assume it won't be as popular, but I think a lot about the metaphysics of the show (like how Hextech works, where the Anomaly came from, how the decline of normal looking people in the background indicates the hyper polarization of their society in S1, or how Jayce isn't the one who cared all that much ideologically about Hextech weapons, it was Viktor's belief that he was supporting, etc etc.).

I think in general, S1 is easier to write meta about because there's a lot more setup and a lot more exposition. S2 is more about wrapping up all the Big Events set into motion by S1. Also, admittedly, the writing is a bit tighter too in S1.

I will say one theme I haven't seen mentioned elsewhere that's a bit stronger in S1 is how Piltover + Zaun together become more powerful.

This manifests itself in several ways:

Shimmer + Hextech = Most of S1 is marked by the arms races between Shimmer and Hextech between Zaun and Piltover. It's an arms race that in both place, is leaving normal people behind. Though Hextech seems more benign, the prosperity it brought to Piltover allowed the Council to ignore the problems facing the undercity in favor of foreign markets. (Ironically, Hextech did more damage to the undercity than it ever did good, which is a tragedy in particular for Viktor.)

But, when Shimmer and Hextech are combined is when you see the greatest amount of power generated. It's part of a larger theme of how these two cities at odds would be stronger if they worked together, for better and for worse.

Vi + Caitlyn = Vi and Caitlyn are an individual example of how the strengths and weaknesses of Piltover and Zaun balance each other out, if both societies would just allow it. In something of a Romeo + Juliet story, albeit with a happier ending, we see how both Vi and Caitlyn work surprisingly well together and strengthen each other, in a partnership that puts lie to the idea that these two sides are irreconcilable.

Jayce + Viktor = In a parallel to Vi and Caitlyn, we see another Piltover/Zaun partnership that is one of the strongest and most productive of the series. It further shows how Piltover and Zaun are not natural enemies, but instead have the potential to compliment each other to achieve great things, if they only allowed it. Of course, their partnership also has moments of received prejudice to overcome, and it's not always smooth sailing, but time and again we see that it is a tragedy when Jayce and Viktor are kept apart. They are better off together, just like the city would be, so long as it can overcome the allure of foreign power and its own prejudices.

That's kind of a high level one, but thank you for the chance to talk about it and I'm so glad you're enjoying the meta I've written so far!

[love-toxin]

oh, to be kaito’s muse <3

let me paint the picture! <3

(cws: gn!darling, self-harm & childhood trauma mentions)

living with a scrawny, sort of recluse boy that has so much age behind his eyes. his roots are showing through his pink hair and he pins it back because it's a little greasy; he puts off showering for a day too long usually, and he hasn't gotten around to re-dyeing it in a while. the apartment itself is cramped and a little hazardous in places because he tends to leave things out, like the vacuum cleaner and his shoes at the front door and hoodies piled on the sofa, but he tidies up more for you than when he was just living by himself.

the bathroom, at least, is clean. it always shines like he polished it minutes before you came over. the strangest thing that remains is the open closet in his bedroom--the doors have been pulled off the hinges and they're nowhere to be found. he never closes it or covers it. it's filled with normal things; clothes, a dirty laundry hamper, and some shoeboxes up top of random bits and bobs, and yet he never covers it up. hasn't replaced the doors yet. that, and an older landline phone in the hallway that's no longer plugged into the wall. the cord's been ripped out of it. probably in anger.

other than that, it's a normal apartment. small and cozy. the only bedroom is his own so you've gotta share it, but he doesn't mind it at all. sharing isn't unfamiliar to him--he grew up with a sibling, he was always sharing his things. but instead of sharing a backpack or a bedroom or a place to hide in when his dad started drinking and breaking things, he gets to share his bed, his warmth, and best of all his art.

his bedroom is even more cramped with his desk and his computer setup practically crammed into the corner by his bed, but it means he can swivel around on his desk chair and draw on his tablet while you're perched on his sheets. when you're on your phone or reading a book, when you aren't paying attention, that's when he loves to draw you the most.

you're just so beautiful. rarely (if ever) has he gotten the chance to draw a model so at ease. if you catch him staring and giggle or get shy, it just makes his sketches better. they're more real. he wants to capture every smile and breath of laughter he can while he's lucky enough to have you with him. sometimes he uses his drawing tablet and sometimes he doodles in his sketchbook, but one of these days he'll bust out the easel umi found for him secondhand and paint something worth putting up on his wall. convincing you to pose nude might be a stretch but he can't call himself an artist if he's not willing to take chances. filming the two of you in the act is an even greater stretch, but wouldn't it be so helpful to have all those references for sketching some animations? no? well, you can't blame him for trying.

it's a little much, but it's cute when your face heats up and you push his own away in embarrassment. he'll just kiss your hands instead. he's not picky. besides, as his muse, he has to help you open up out of that shell when he can--his purpose is to capture your beauty and immortalize it, which he can only do if you let him show the most vulnerable parts of yourself. that's how he feels when you run your fingers down his arms and rub the raised edges of his scars, touching over the places where he took out the worst of his anger on himself. that self-hatred bleeds through so many parts of him, from his messy appearance to the blackout curtains over his windows, but he somehow looks...prettier. if you have your own, you can compare them. it makes him chuckle to see that you really were meant for each other--you must be, if even your scars align with each other's skin. if that isn't a soulmate, he doesn't even know the meaning of the word.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Not Enough | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Your old classmate comes back into town for a work trip but his flight home gets cancelled so he shows up on your doorstep to tell you one last thing... Pairing: Reader x Jungkook f2l Word Count: 1.3k~ a/n: Just some cute angst... is that even a thing? lol idk how to categorize it. I wrote it last night and thought it would be nice as a one shot. Hope you enjoy :) p.s. horribly edited

"Hey thanks for letting me spend the night" Jungkook says as I let him into my apartment. "Don't mention it. It's not your fault that your flight got cancelled" I say taking his jacket and hanging it up to dry. "Looks like it's really coming down out there" I say in regards to his jacket that is completely soaked through. "Hey!" I laugh while putting my hands up, trying to shield myself from mist that lands on me while he shakes his head in an effort to dry his hair off a bit.

"Oh sorry my bad" he says wiping my face a bit with his sleeve that is surprisingly dry in contrast. "It's fine" I say while he playfully smooshes my face around, 'trying' to dry it off. "You sure you don't mind?" he says when he finishes and cups my face with both of his hands making eye contact with me. "I told you it's fine, plus this way we get to spend more time together before you fly back home" I say giving him a sad smile and taking one of his hands off my face so I can walk away to grab some things for him.

"Are you mad at me?" he says trailing behind me into my room. "Why would I be mad at you?" I say pulling out some pillows and blankets for him to use on the sofa bed. "Well then you're upset" he continues and I ignore that question because I really can't deny it.

"Talk to me" he says, taking the things that are in my hands and placing them on my bed. "I'm not upset" I lie but I know he can see right through me. "I'm sorry I can't stay longer. We were supposed to spend more time together but this work trip was a lot more demanding than I thought it would be" he says taking one of my hands in his.

"It's okay, it's not your fault. You had a job you needed to do so I can't get mad at you for it. I'm just happy that I was even able to see you" I say trying to take some of the guilt away. "How long has it been since you moved back home?" I question, referring to him getting his dream job back in Seoul.

"Two years" he says with an unreadable expression. "You still like it there right?" I question, concerned with his reaction. "Oh I love it, everyone there is really nice and the job is challenging but definitely everything I wanted and more" he says while grabbing the pillows and blankets and bringing them into the living room.

"I bet your parents are happy you moved back huh?" I question, watching as he sets up the pull out couch taking all the cushions off and unfolding the mattress. "Yeah they are, but they talk about you a lot though" he says with his back to me, not able to see how confused that's made me.

"Me? Why me?" I say grabbing one corner of the bed sheet, deciding to at least help him place the fitted one on. "They keep on asking me how you are, if you're still living in New York, why I didn't bring you back with me, what kind of job you have" he lists off, with one in particular catching me off guard.

"Woah woah woah, back up. They thought you were going to bring me back to Seoul with you? Like as in come to visit?" I say tilting my head in confusion. "Something like that" he says and lays out the pillows and blankets, finishing up the setup in record time. "No no, don't you go all vague on me" I say following him over to my kitchen where he gets himself a water bottle out of the fridge and hands one to me as well, which I place on the counter trying to stay focused on my interrogation.

"Did they think you were going to ask me to move to Seoul with you?" I question after he's taken a drink from his water bottle, still holding onto it, having only been half empty now. "Yeah" he says looking past me, focusing on something on the wall behind me to avoid eye contact.

"Why?" I question, confused as to what would even make them think that. "You know how my mom always calls you myeoneuri?" he questions, now looking down at the floor. "Yeah that means daughter right? You said she started calling me that because you and I became really good friends" I answer recalling the memory.

"Well myeoneuri doesn't exactly mean daughter" he says and I can see how the tips of his ears are almost turning a bit red. "What does it mean?" I question, curious as to where this is all going. "It means daughter in law" he says now making eye contact with me. "Oh" I say taken back, trying to piece things together from our phone calls. Everything making sense now with how he would wave his mother off when she would tease him in front of me on video call countless times.

"Needless to say she had certain expectations set for you and I" he says trying to walk past me and back into the living room but I grab his wrist before he's able to make it too far. "Jungkook did she think we were dating?" I ask and he stops for a second, trying to figure out exactly how he's going to go about this. "No, but she wanted us to be" he answers but I'm still not satisfied by that answer.

"Why exactly did she want us to be dating?" I question prodding further. "Because she knew that I liked you" he says and slips his wrist out of my grasp gently and walks over to the bed where he sits down on it with his shoulders slightly slumped. "What's wrong?" I ask sitting next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know. I just, being back here has really put a lot of things into perspective for me. It's shown me that I've missed this place a lot more than I thought I did. I missed you a lot more than I thought I did" he says trailing off a bit. "What are you trying to say?" I question, trying to get him to come out and say  exactly what he's thinking.

"I've told myself before that it would never work between us, that we were too young and naïve to think about anything serious. I told myself that I didn't want to ruin our friendship and that we should just stay the way we have always have been. So when I got that job offer after graduation, I took it. I took it because I knew that if I stayed here that I might do something stupid and break your heart if you ever gave me the chance to hold it. I convinced myself that things were better this way and that if I could have you in my life even when we're thousands of miles apart that that would be enough for me. After coming back here I realized, that that's not enough for me anymore" he says and finally makes eye contact with me.

"Having you in my life but only being able to see you through a screen or hear you voice on the phone is not enough for me. Hearing about your days but not being able to be a part of them is not enough for me. Being able to hold you this close to my heart and being too scared to give it to you is not enough for me" he says taking my hand and placing it on his chest where I can feel his heart beating faster, helping me realize how he's truly felt about me for a while.

"Please say something" he pleads with a voice that sounds broken and vulnerable almost as if he would shatter if you weren't careful. I instead take his hand and place it against my chest showing him that it's beating just as fast as his.

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[papaver-decervicatus]

Cat/Mouse/Den: Pt. 4, Mus Urbanus

Fatal attraction is one thing but stuck on a stakeout, a certain little mouse decides to push her luck with the cat who's been chasing her... just how far is too far, and how much more can they take?

CW: Obsession, stalking, canon typical violence, intrusive thoughts, unsanitary wound care

Authors Note: Hahaha, remember how I said I was going to do shorter updates? Yeah well, I felt really bad for missing the previous week but I did have a lot of terrible IRL shit happen, so working through that was a priority. That being said, going back through all the amazing comments and everything everyone has written has been absolutely keeping me afloat! Thank you all so so so so so much, you will never know how much it all means to me.

There are a couple of Hannibal references in this part that, hopefully, will start to make sense by the last part of the story (which was, coincidentally, the first part written!) Not going to lie, I am just glad to publish this so I never have to think about this damned part again as I have been stuck on in for literal months. Also sorry if Soap's accent sucks, the only experience I have with anything remotely Scottish in the way of language tendency is my grandmother whose father was a Scottish immigrant and that's it.

Anyways, I hope you like agnst and interrogation scenes, because next week, König loses his faith in god and in mouse while tied to a chair! See you there!

❣️Cura ut Veleas ~ Caedis 🥀

PREV | Pt. 4 Mus Urbanus | 4.2k words | Mouse POV | NEXT

“Mouse?” A voice from in front of her calls out, but only after she deliberately drags her feet into the threshold of the neutral ground, alerting him of her presence. 

“Quiet as a.” She utters her usual response, stepping into the little flat in Buenos Aries, Argentina. She hears the smile as Soap sucks in a breath at her little joke. Her callback should be old by now, shouldn’t make him smile anymore, but he does anyway. He’s easy to get along with, something hard to come by in war. She crosses the minimal space between the two and takes stock of his little setup. 

For a mission, it’s luxurious. He’s sitting, in a chair might she add, with a scope poking barely out of an antique window on the 7th floor of an apartment building, looking into a busy market square. His arms rest on a table littered with little signs of life, a map of the area adorned with notes and coordinates in inexpensive ink, no less than 7 pens whose caps are chewed through (everyone’s got bad habits but this little sin of his drives poor Price up and down the goddamn wall), two disposable cups with sediment rings denoting how much instant coffee was drunk from them at a time before they returned to their places besides their drinker. Most notably, however, are two radios in a strange moment of near fornication– backs ripped open and wires crossed in an almost pornographic display of field ingenuity. 

Damn demolition specialists, she hears the echo of Gaz say in her head and she absentmindedly rubs the scabbed over cut on her left hand where the shrapnel of a certain someone’s frag grenade got her two weeks ago. She wants to be mad but-

“Hear any good ones, lately?” Soap turns to her, he’s disengaging from his post, changing his guard for her to take his spot, just as command ordered. He’s been in this little nest for about 6 hours and she can feel his desire to scuttle and tinker about radiating off of him. As he takes apart his gun, already aware and familiar that she refuses to use anyone’s but her own, his eyes shine to life. The color of sky blue permafrost, yet they radiate a certain lived-in warmth impossible to distance yourself from. Eyes almost like-

She bites her tongue at the thought. Bad time to be thinking about König… she mourns. But, speaking of the man.

“Yes, but it’s bad,” she offers, in fake warning as she sheds her outer jacket before moving to unhook the case that stands between her and the assembly of her gun. She knows the warning will only intrigue the poor pyrotechnic more. 

His smile is nothing short of sadistic as he raises an eyebrow.

“No, like, really bad,” she emphasizes, throwing a pleading look his way. His grin gets even more shit-eating-er if that sort of thing were even possible. “I mean it, MacTavish. Pass it along to your long-suffering Lieutenant, and you will be picking teeth out of your shit.” “I’m sure I’ve done worse to Ghost,” he supplies, rolling his shoulders. Yeah, I’m sure you have, she thinks but is much too self-preserving to say, especially aware that the Frankenstien’s monster of a radio he’s resurrected from two dead circuit boards is likely not secure enough to promise any real privacy. She would rather not alert Simon Riley that she’s become a dealer in his and Soap’s arm’s race of terrible jokes. He does not take prisoners, after all… 

“Alright, alright, just don’t tell him it’s from me,” she smiles, putting her hands up defensively in a quick jest. “Okay, play along with me now,” he nods along as he steps away from the perch and lets her take his spot at the table. 

“So, what's the difference between a piano, a fish, and a gluestick?”

“I know about two-thirds o’ this one.” 

Mouse trap baited. She smiles.

“Give it a go, then.” She wiggles in the chair, pressing her cheek to the crux of the sight and its metal holder. She sighs into the familiar feeling of control that settles into her bones as she hunches over.

“Can tuna piano but’cha can’t tuna fish?” He supplies, half teasing her already.

“Yep, but you’re forgetting something.” She sighs and goes to fiddle with the red-light optics extension, Command is confident enough in her abilities that she was specifically told to take it off for this one. She hears Soap whisper a quiet ‘oh shite’ behind her when he realizes he probably forgot to himself and she laughs a little. 

“What about the glue?”

Mouse trap set. Poor Soap, always getting himself into ambushes…

She smiles wide and hums remembering how excited her kitty-cat was to tell her this part. 

“See, I knew you’d get stuck on that one.” 

Mouse trap sprung. A moment of silence.

“Oh fuck me, that one is bad.” Soap chokes out a hearty laugh as he collects his discarded coffee cups from her side.

“No thanks,” she purrs as she finally sets herself into position. “Use it at your discretion, soldier.”

“Aye, that I will.” 

Soap goes to rummage through the kitchenette to her right and she takes the moment she lacks supervision to indulge herself. She does not move her sights to alert the man with her of the wandering of her eyes, instead, she scans windows and alleys without visual aid. The stale air threatens to choke her as she rakes over the golden-hued morning scene with desperate efficiency. 

After what feels like an eternity of stolen glances switching between her targeted area and anywhere he may be, she sees him. 

Technically, she has no way to know for certain that it’s König, she doesn’t have his usual wave or cheeky grin (affectionately referred to as a Cheshire Cat Smile in her own belabored heart) to alert her to his presence. That being considered, there is a masculine figure barely peeking out of a window into an alleyway who is just shy of 7 feet tall and his face is covered. Yeah, probably König. She smiles despite herself and her company. She wonders if he has radio access to her little hideout. 

(She remembers the seemingly endless weeks of his arrival to her perch. The early morning light hits the streets the same way it had hit the forest ground that day. Like a fairy tale prince, beseeching a princess on hand and knee, he would always somehow appear in her sights, nearly as though it was just meant to be! 

His form stands out tall and proud from its surroundings and she recounts every single reason he should not be here. By the third time their eyes caught she’d decided he was doing it on purpose, but she never let him get away with it without some acknowledgment on her side. She can only imagine that if she’s getting hunted for sport, her calling out his position will, at least temporarily, halt his advance. 

But by this rate, she’ll be in his mouth by the end of the year. 

His eyes are cold and bloodshot red. Painted tears lick their way down the hood she’s never seen him without, possibly a feeble attempt at impersonality? Maybe if he looks enough like a monster people will just trust their first assumption and leave him alone. But she’s never been one to judge a book by its cover…

“I see you, König.” She warns out to him. He stills among the foliage, bathed in sweet-honey-like warmth from the rising sun. He does not shy away from his imminent death on the business end of her rifle, of course not! Instead, he raises his chest proudly, seemingly aware that the loneliness in her yields to whatever greater magnetism the loneliness in him commands. He’s an enigma, it bothers her that of all the people to put the effort into finding her, it has to be him. Mostly she curses herself for promising him a next time all those encounters ago, if she’d known what sort of a game it would inspire in the predator stalking her like prey despite her flipping sniper rifle, she never would have said a thing. 

He may be in her scope, but he’s got her under a finer microscope to seek her out so faithfully. She wishes she got this sort of dizzying devotion from someone, anyone else. It is the third day this week he has found her.

What she expects to happen is what has happened for weeks now, 1) he hears her transmission, 2) he smiles at her as a predator smiles at pray, his eyes find hers and her hackles rise in utter terror, and 3) he hums to himself and turns away, self-satisfied enough to have won hide-and-seek for the time being.

That does not happen. 

Instead, König sits down, right where he is, and pulls out that monster of a knife he keeps strapped to himself. He throws it up and catches it without looking at it, instead his eyes are laser-focused on Mouse. This is, of course, despite the fact he should have no earthly idea where she is. He plays with his knife idly for what must be an hour, but she does not- no, can not- look away from him.

She remembers her trigger finger twitching with sinful power, she remembers choking back the insistence at killing another lonely person, devoid of their autonomy on a basic level when they signed up for a mercenary-issued ticket to hell.

She remembers hopelessness. She remembers refusal. She remembers the smile reaching his eyes when she played along with his joke. 

“Why don’t rats like cats?” Her radio labors out. 

She half forgot what his voice sounded like, surprisingly excitable and shrill for a man of his stature. Her brain stutters around the implication of the only words she’s heard him say to her since the fateful ravine that gained Mouse her own personal 6’10” shadow. 

She blinks a few times in surprise, genuinely pondering if her long hours hiking through the woods have made her susceptible to hallucination and general hysteria. She is not thinking when she timidly responds-

“Why?” 

“Because they are weapons of maus-destruction.” Konig replies like it’s not the stupidest thing she’s ever heard in her goddamn life. Perhaps it's pity at the memory of his discomfort around his comrades. Of the thought of the way he tries to make his body so small when around others (truly an impossible task he routinely fails.) Maybe it’s irrational fear, twofold and buried in her instinct to shoot despite the clear disadvantage on his behalf and her insistence that she does not do her damn job, or fear of the inhuman man in front of her stalking her through the woods. Or it could be discomfort, no one ever prepared her for dealing with whatever the fuck this is in basic training or field school. In the end, it doesn’t really matter what it is.

In the sparkling, decadent light of a sunrise, her heart hammers in her throat at the first joke he’d told her, in some strange and desperate attempt to fill the meters of silence between them.

She laughs. 

And he hears it.

And with his wide stance, his ghastly executioner’s hood in the place of a crown, and his knife back in its holster- his beautiful eyes seem to smile. Suddenly, his eyes look lived in, like someone has just put up new curtains in an abandoned house. His whole affect changes hinging on what was an irresponsible outburst on her behalf at best.

And for the first time, she does not fear a monster hunting her through the woods, silent and purposeful in his pursuit of prey. Instead, she wants to understand a man, whose eyes have lit up like a princess has just laughed when he kissed her hand.) 

Soap wanders back into her small perch with two cups of coffee and sets one down next to her. She takes a quick glance and hums with appreciation. He takes another sip out of his and she remembers that they’re supposed to share shift for about an hour before his rotation ends.

“You treat all your girls to coffee in the morning?” She quips.

“Only the pretty ones,” he returns with an effortless charisma and her breath catches.

Not because of Soap, but because in that alleyway, where she really shouldn’t be looking, she sees the uneasy rise of two massive shoulders and-

Oh my god, did König just… get jealous? 

The next idea she has is downright evil, really this is not the place or the time or any of that but-

Fuck it. She’s already flirting with the enemy, what more could this do? She’s already told the poor mountain of a man something dangerously adjacent to “God I really missed you when we didn’t talk to each other for three weeks like a horny teenager and by the way I love you desperately and think about you when I’ve got my hands down my pants,” and she probably imagined him tensing up, anyways. No harm, no foul. 

Maybe, it's dangerous, to wave a steak in front of a mountain lion, but what if she wants to get mauled?

“Hey Soap, what page are you on?” She says, putting her terrible plan into action. She sees him look up from his report, or more likely an idle sketch, on her periphery. 

“Ah, only the second chapter, did'ya move my bookmark?”

“Nope, the book’s in the leftmost pocket in my duffle.”

“Thank ya,” He says and moves from his spot to go fetch the book from it. She takes a quick sip of her coffee, delighted to realize he’s made it to her specifications as far as milk and sugar go, as he rummages around in her bag.

The impromptu book club started nearly eight months ago when Nova passed her copy of Emma by Jane Austen off to Gromsko to help him with his English. That turned into Mouse recommending the book Jane Eyre to Nova on the pure suspicion that she would hate it, which she did. Gromsko still needed to practice and enjoyed the spirited discussions so he joined the blossoming group with an English copy of The Doll by Aleksander Głowacki after he finished Jane Eyre. Never one to be left out, and surprisingly well-read when he wanted to be, Soap had pitched the idea of The Lord of the Flies (because to quote “Fucking Brits,” and he wanted to subject others to his high-school reading list.) If she remembered correctly, Farah and Reyes had also started sharing copies of books they enjoyed occasionally.

“Can’t believe it was Gromsko that put it in rotation.” Soap says, pulling out a well-worn copy of The Silence of the Lambs from the bag.

“He said he picked it up years ago in Polish thinking it was a cooking field guide.” She offers, as the man next to her idly thumbs through pages.

“Yer shitting me, yeah?”

She just shakes her head and smiles into her scope. Soap laughs and removes his homemade bookmark, a pencil sketch of a stake-out view somewhere in Mexico scribbled onto scrap paper. He keeps his thumb on the page and flips through to where hers is, much further along.

“Yer a right romantic, ain’cha Bonnie?” Soap laughs somewhere between the pages and somewhere behind her. “Hmm?” 

“This part, that’ya highlighted,” she hears a well-meaning sneer in his words. “The one you put the hearts by and everything…”

Mouse’s mouth tethers itself into a terse line and she attempts her best noncommittal shrug. 

Somewhere in her line of sight, a mountain shrugs himself chuckling lightly. She wonders what it would feel like, to lay on his broad, muscled chest as he laughs, how closely he would hold her, how she could rest entirely on top of his chest and not touch the ground beneath them and-

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” She lies through her teeth. Soap’s laugh behind her is loud and proud. Suddenly, his casual sadism isn’t so amusing when turned around on her. 

“Do you think it's because I like to look at you and think about eating you up—“ he reads from the book, voice dripping in mock chivalry and breathless romanticism. “About how you would taste?"

She feels her cheeks and ears heat up as Soap loudly proclaims her funeral to all those who may care, and she doesn’t miss the way König leans a little too close to his radio as he goes about mocking her. His stance shifts as if he hangs on the very words like he’s found a secret buried deep in her subconscious. Technically, she has no way of knowing, but Mouse knows in her heart that König is smiling. At least someone is having fun. 

Once Soap comes down from his laughing fit he puts her bookmark back to its spot and talks at the back of her head. 

“With your pressed flower bookmark and everything. Oh, it would be sweet if he wasn’t Hannibal the Cannibal.” Soap hisses out. “I always figured you were…” he pauses searching for the right word, “adventurous from how Gromsko talks bout ya, but seriously cannibalism?”

If she’s not mistaken, König’s hand grips ever so slightly tighter on the radio attached to the best. Maybe the battle plan has to change, but she’s still got some ideas. 

Soap is completely oblivious to the electricity licking up the air between her perch and one man on the ground. He looks around frantically, seemingly desperate to find her, and look in her eyes. Mouse is a sniper, she really should hate the attention, but something fatalistic descends into her smile as she lets Soap continue his little outburst. 

“I swear. You and him, yer sure there’s nothing there? He’s even given you special field medicine lessons, no one gets treatment like that from Gromsko.”

“His name is Sobieslaw.” Notably, it is not a denial. Technically, everything that’s just been said is the truth. 

König’s shoulders rise. 

He looks right down her site. 

She smiles. 

Come and get me, kitty-cat. 

“See! That’s what I’m talking about. You’re the only person who calls him by his first name.”

“Because you never put in the effort to learn it.”

“That don’t mean a thing since I don’t have tits.” 

“You do, just not as good as mine.”

“Aye, off it. Gromsko is into you.” She can hear from the way Soap’s voice carries haphazardly around the room that he is pacing and talking with his hands. She doesn’t turn her back, gaze still fixated on the looming shadow in her sights. Soap continues, entirely unaware of the exact type of beast he is tempting. “He swaggers around you, never even bothers to fucking ask to pick up your boxes, he just does it. His voice gets all soft around ya, too, like he’s cooing at a goddamn pet animal or something. He nearly got into an actual pissing contest with Ghost the other day when he bitched about you beating him in poker. Face the facts, Bonnie, he wants you.” 

König’s eyes have focused with the ferocity of an apex predator and his chest labors out concentrated and sharp inhales and exhales. He resembles a recently sharpened knife, desperate for some carnage after a particular kind of attention. His body is crumpled in on itself not unlike a cat getting ready to pounce. His heels dig desperately into the cobblestones beneath his feet. His hand flicks out his beloved Glock field knife with all the reverence of a praying man.

In short, he looks every part like he does in immediate battle. He looks like he did the split second before he started sprinting for her in the snowy woods, the scene that occupies her lonely nights when she tries in complete vanity to recreate the feel of his hands cradling her sides.

Mouse should be scared of König.

Instead, she sees before her a scene of complete and hopeless adoration focused so intently on her alone that she should be afraid of. Realistically, she recognizes the clear and present danger of the moment. Is König upset at her? At Soap? At a potential adversarial suitor by way of Gromsko? She doesn’t quite know, but after a career of intentionally hiding like a coward, she basks infatuated by the calamitous captivation he exhibits.

He looks like he wants to maul something to death.

As keen as she is on getting him close enough to try to get over to her (and ideally, throw her under him,) in her infinite mercy, Mouse decides the teasing has gone on long enough.

“I like Gromsko just fine, but not like that.” Soap audibly scoffs and König’s entire form relaxes. Both men mutter something to themselves before an encore of gunfire breaks out. Mouse’s heart stutters to a stop when her radio comes in.

“Visual on Gaz, he’s hit!” Nova calls out, clearly alarmed. Soap grabs for the radio right next to Mouse and brings it to his face, holding onto a few loose wires as he does to ensure the amalgamation does not fall apart in his fingers.

“Where is he?”

“Two blocks from south from you, Gromsko is a click out.”

Soap looks at Mouse with his heart bobbing in his throat. The pain and worry on his face is palpable.

“Go.” She says. Soap looks around frantically at their supplies, seemingly taking a split second worth of inventory, making as many life-or-death decisions as he can in such little time.

“Soap, listen to me,” Mouse soothes. “I keep overwatch, you take my TAC vest and stabilize him until he can get a medic.”

“Mouse, I can’t just leave you-” “You can, and you will. Go.” She says with all the finality of a door slamming shut. Soap doesn’t look at her again as he gathers her supplies and nearly sprints downstairs. 

Soap leaves. Quickly. Quietly. He never looks back.

Her stomach settles into discomfort and she looks through the door he closed with the same sad nostalgia she looked through falling snow and monumentous trees. She can’t help but think she would not get the same priority in Gaz’s situation. Like some terrible premonition, she imagines bleeding out on the ground as Soap turns away, never once looking back.

Would König come for me? She ponders, before she smothers the paranoia-induced delusion with the memory of his large hands on her sides. She looks down at her shoelace, where she carved a cylindrical hole through his effigy to attach it. The birchwood mouse carving that sleeps at her right toe gives a silent reassurance: he never really left you, did he?

By the time she looks back into her scope, in between the all-too-familiar white noise of war that’s broken out around her, she sees a shadow dart out from the alleyway one down from where König is. The figure is cloaked in the specific type of military fatigue denoting his affiliation, one that is unluckily for him, kill on sight. It ducks behind the building to the right, where König is. It stalks out, lining itself up behind the hooded man, brandishing a drawn pistol.

König doesn’t have the time to react to the blood spray that litters across his back from the other man’s head once Mouse pulls the trigger on her gun, silently thankful (as awful as it is,) that Gaz getting hurt allowed her to take the shot without Soap inquiring into her actions. (But maybe it’s her fault in the first place that König was distracted enough to allow someone to get the drop on him…)

König looks back towards her and his head lulls to the side like a heavy flower bloom weighed down by morning dew. His eyes, somehow the softest she’s ever seen, are also carving a large chunk of her soul like a knife cuts through soft wood. When he lifts his hood to blow a kiss to her, she knows she will never get her traitorous heart back.

“Danke, mein Engel,” the radio on her table whispers in his voice.

“It’s only fair. I did owe you, after all.” She responds, all together unconcerned with whether or not he can hear her. She smiles, thankful she can see those bright eyes another day. 

When he turns away, she feels her entire heart walk away with him. With every step of his fleeting form, she feels less and less herself, as though someone had separated her shadow from where it meets her feet. Something has changed in the air between them, a sad resignation settles into her trigger finger when she releases it.

For the first time, she does not feel as though she wouldn’t run if he took her, but rather that some integral part of her is with him as he leaves. 

All is fair in love and war, but she’s not sure just how much longer she can stand to play cat and mouse.

taglist!

@kneelingshadowsalome @sprout-fics @bucca2 @dead-cipher @gallowsjoker @lostagoodcigar @berryjuicyy @haisebo @crowbird

And special thanks to @bucca2 and @ivymarquis for finally kicking my ass into gear to write this. Can't wait to read yall's WIPs!

[suzy-queued]

DVD Commentary: Out of Nowhere

I got a request from @doshiart for behind-the-scenes commentary from Out of Nowhere. @shamelessdvdcommentary

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) 86,511 words, 15-chapters. I wrote it between November 2022 - January 2024.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I love murder ballads. I love graphic novels. So when I saw the book In the Pines at my local library, I snatched it up. This book takes old murder ballads and turns them into short stories, told in graphic format. My favorite one was "Where the Wild Roses Grow," based on the Nick Cave song.

I took some very loose elements from this story: A secluded property, a guy escaping from prison, a person protecting their family's gold. The prisoner wooing the gold protector in order to get close enough to rob them. Doesn't that scream Gallavich?

In the murder ballad there's, well, murder. The prisoner dies by the end. Boy, was I tempted to do that in my story.

What was your favorite scene to write? In each story, there's a scene that pops in my head early on that I base the whole setup around. It's the one that I'm gleefully waiting to write. For this story, it was the "cleaning guns" scene in chapter 7, when the sexual tension is high and Ian tantalizes Mickey as he works.

How did you come up with the title? My favorite murder ballad of all time is "El Paso" by Marty Robbins. There's a line in that song, "From out of nowhere, Felina has found me."

The placeholder title was "Gallagher Gold."

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? I made this note early on: "Ian has a high PHYSICAL IQ. Mickey has a high VISUAL IQ." I used that to make character decisions throughout. Ian was good with his body and his posture. He was good at carrying things and balancing things, climbing and shooting. Mickey was obsessive about patterns and puzzles and solving challenges.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? Chapter 13, oh my god. That's the hardest thing I've ever written. I was dreading it for months. It's a tense culmination of everything the story has been building to: love, betrayal, physical and emotional pain. The land gets torn up, and so does their relationship. I overcame it by taking lots of deep breaths and writing small chunks every day. I made sure that every sentence was exactly what I wanted to convey, without letting the prose take its own (lazier) path.

Favorite line in the story? “I’m not a fucking Viper.”

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? When I started this story, I was sure that I didn't want to do another long multi-chap fic. I outlined it as a 5-chapter short, maybe 30,000 words. Then the "what if" whispers started happening, and it grew to a full 15-chapter outline. Most of the chapters had very short descriptions. One was just "fun and games on the land." One was just "This wasn’t supposed to happen, Gallagher."

Other possible settings included: an abandoned church with a small cemetery, and old hospital, a forgotten amusement park. I wrote "somewhere old-timey that would have land."

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterization, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) The art! I had so much fun with it. I based the style off the old Penguin classics, like the Grapes of Wrath cover below. (Where they had the little penguin, I put the double-triangle Viper tattoo). I'm also showing my concept sketch for chapter 1 art.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share? I hand-wrote the story first, and it filled two notebooks:

Here are some research shots on the land and the equipment:

I took this photo while I was working. Welcome to the inside of my brain:

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add? I was itching to dramatize more of Ian and Mickey's lives while they were apart. It would have been fun to have 5-6 chapters of them learning to be whole humans again. But ultimately, that wouldn't serve the story. I did a time jump instead.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? The story is set in Fox River Grove. This entirely happened because @lalazeewrites introduced me to the town in their comments on Estate of Blood and Trust. So the events of EOBAT and OON are taking place in neighboring towns!

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote? @mzshko helped me figure out the best way to structure chapters 2 & 3. She was patient enough to read an alternate fully-written version of both chapters and tell me which option worked best.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? Three months into writing this story, I stopped and did a self-analysis because it wasn't igniting. I wrote, "Could it be that I haven't put enough of myself into it?" So I re-evaluated and dug deeper and made it as personal as I could.

I can't emphasize enough how interwoven details of my own life were in this story. I helped my dad install that big aluminum gate in the woods. I used 5-gallon jugs of water to brush my teeth and sponges to bathe. I washed clothes by hand and cooked on a propane stove. I hauled and stacked logs from fallen trees. I had a love/hate relationship with my family's land and ached to be back in civilization, like Ian. My dad used to tell me bedtime stories about escaped prisoners (Mickey?!) roaming the woods and killing small children.

This story is a love letter to my dad, who was dying the entire time I was writing. He passed away in May of 2024.

This is open to all writers! Pick your favorite story you’ve written or your most popular or the one you think deserves some more love! Or ask your followers to suggest their favorite fic of yours!

[vampirevatican]

Pure fluff scenario: Damien is chatting with gn!Reader while they're making diner for the both of them, when he realizes he's been basically living at their place with the amount of time he spend/stuffs he brought there. It just isn't really "official" (yet). Some hugs are required

if this world... were mine. damien would be living with us (obvi i mean reader, mostly me bc my blog nd im obsessed with my harem) in an apartment and he'd refer to it as "his friend's" apartment, because he just moved out of his parents house and is trying to get his own place and then one thing leads to another and turns out he's our husband now.... so lets see that huh?!

Damien is washing up dishes you have both used for prep while you stir what's in the pot. How many times has he done this? How many dinner shave you both prepared and ate together since he moved out of his parents house. Hell he even moved his streamer setup into your office space because you had the extra room for it. You already knew though. If anything you were just waiting to see if you were both still friends and he's just a house mate or are you both together now. There were a few thoughts that made you second guess if it was a good idea too. Like wouldn't this be trauma bonding if you were both survivors of camp nevermoor? Well technically no, because he isn't freddie, but he was a vessel for freddie... But on the same note isn't it kinda funny for your new boyfriend to be some guy you bonded with over a very traumatic and stress inducing summer? Yes. Complex, but you wanted it regardless. "Hey," He finally speaks up, "Why... haven't you- nevermind."

You look at him confused, "Kicked you out, Urged you to get an apartment or shown you lease openings or houses that are dirt cheap?" He nods and you just smirk, looking back at the pot of stew, "Because I like your company Dami, I thought we've been over this." Damien smiles to himself, and you don't miss the slight blush on his cheeks at your reassurance. After dinner you two do your usual routine of parallel play in the office, but before bed you hug him from behind. "Damien, you can stay here as long as you want." He freezes and as you ramble on about how much you love his presence, how much you love him, the little things around the house that he does. How he organizes the dishwasher, and even the cabinets or drawers. Whenever you guys hang out in the office he points out to his viewers that yes you are in the room and will call you over and even they think you're married. How he responds to the little dry erase board you have on the fridge instead of talking about the grocery list. Damien turns around in your hug and engulfs you within his arms, face and hair resting on your shoulder, as he tries to hide his slight breakdown. He wasn't sad or panicking, he was elated. "I love your company, and I love you too..." He says and lists off your quirks that he enjoys and think is helpful around the shared home you two unknowingly but slowly created.

[daeagon]

My Reactions to ep 9 of TDofJ

MAJOR SPOILERS!! fyi this is an actually image of me while watching this show, this and me crying

this is very long so fair warning!

I also watched some of this with my IRL friend, so I’ll add their reactions!

THE BOAR SCNEE! You don’t know how excited I was to see this since it’s in the opening credits, and they just have it in the first 2 seconds! I THOUGUT THIS WOULD BE A HUGE CHANCE SCENE!! Nope

Oh she angy

I also love J’s little head tilt thing, it’s so smooth!

I LOVE HER and this line is so fucking funny! (Don’t think about how I could connect this to Bianca’s character and actions in the show)

THE PARALLELS THE PARALLELS! they speak to me!

the way this connects to J and Nuria’s hug/J crying but it’s the opposite, B is crying and doesn’t get a hug, however her partner knows about her job!

I don’t have any photos but during J going home and speaking to his kid my IRL was yelling at him to stop speaking Spanish, I was going OH SHIT.

also my IRL thinks Nuria is very hot and she can do better

When Nuria was confronting J and saying is this real when pointing to her ring: DAMN

basically that whole bit was me and my friend being in shock and reacting to it and saying Nuria was hot!It was very fun and surprising

HE FUCKING SNAPPED OH MY GOLLY! I LOVE THIS TROPE YEESSSSSSSSSSS

my IRL was also wondering why J was just standing there, he really hit the 🧍‍♂️

THIS FUCKING SHOT! HOLY SHIT

this looks like a painting! I don’t know which one but this should be in a museum! THE LIVHTING!! (I feel like someone should look into potential Biblical references or connections in this show, bc Nuria is in paradise and that falls apart because of her curiosity, I’m sure there’s more this is just surface level)

when Nuria walked away my IRL repeated that and said as she should

WHAT IS GOING ON WIRH THE BROTHET OH NO! I think he’s in something deep

oh wait, this could be a setup/trap

WAIT NOOOO!

AND WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE GREATFUL FOR THAT?! F off! I USED TO LIKE YOU!

the way I need him to do this to me, and tell me everything is ok

but I know your fixing your marriage and that’s great but you have a man to unalive

I LOVE UDC!!! ‘Super rish people have to give up private jets so young people can have a future’ PREACH! PLEASE COME TO THIS WORLD PLEASE!! 🙏 This world really needs someone like UCD and River

YESSSSS QUEEN! If UDC has no fans I am dead (pun not intended)

but River launches tomorrow, that’s not a lot of time. I think UDC will die but River will still launch and the world will go into chaos

also very interesting timing of this show with recent events in NY, completely random thought

that’s the UK’s foreign secretary guy

’so where is the Jackal?’ Mans getting a boat, love him for that (to get to the island???)

I think I might be going to Spain at some point late next year, im actually so excited!

WHAT THE FUCK!! HELLO?!

WHAT?! It wasent the Jackal, was it? I DONT KNOW

Bianca’s so real for that

None is having a good time, J is mourning Norman, B is mourning her family even though they’re not dead

This song feels like a set up for the season finale, but there’s still time left in the ep

NOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE REGRET FOR SNAPPING AT YOUR WIFE NOOOO

OH SHIT! B is going to Spain oh god

Ah shit, here we go again

Very pretty bird!

They are knows for their ability to mimic the songs of other birds, sometimes kept as a cage bird 👀, that could connect to J’s username on the dark web, someone posted an analysis about that

The fit is giving Sherlock Holmes/deer hunter

also side note the fits in this show 👌, I need them!

bird call in distance

I might be a sleeper agent for anything bird related

I really should expect everyone J interacts with will be killed but wow, knife in the sock

I thought for a sec J would dive/swim to the island, glad he’s not doing thst

That’s a crazy set up wow! I mean it’s to account for the shaking of the boat so it makes sense

Jackal is so homophobic, you killed Rasmus your going to kill UDC who hurt you?

OH NO! Ullie’s partner is convinced him to swim and he’s going to die and he’s going to have so much guilt nooooooo

oh no there’s a drone!

and that dead guy is still just sitting there, sure

He shot the guy on a jet ski, he’s going to shoot the drone, is he going to do this with one bullet?!?

I’ve been so invested and mesmerized, the mucus it’s so tense!!! I’m scared

What did he do to the drone?! Huh

HE HIT THE WRONT MAN!!

THE COUNTDOWN IS SO TENSE

I am on the edge of my seat

OH SHIT!!

THERE YOU ARE ARE YOU INSANE

omg, I am actually in shock this show, I don’t think I was breahting

your just going to sail away!

NO THE PARTNER NOO IM SO SORRY

THE MUSIC! principle down!

IM GETTING MY CHSCE SCENE! YESSSSSSSSS

THE SHOT COMPOSITION IN THIS SHOW IS ACTUSLLY INSANE!!

I’m shaking

they just cut it there

god I have to wait a week

what did I just watch

a masterpiece that’s what

I need a week to process that actuslly

This show, I don’t have the words for how good it is, this is some of the best TV I’ve watched in a while

Welp until next week 😭

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.232 thoughts

[You Gotta Keep 'Em Separated]

(Topics: thematic analysis - identity/self-worth/unity vs homogeneity, character analysis - Julia and Juiz/Rip/Victor/Soul)

When I saw the cover for this week's Jump, I was honestly a little underwhelmed by the fairly bland pose; it isn't nearly as dynamic as Tozuka's usual fare, and it barely even has the iconic splashes of paint

Upon seeing the color pages, though, I understood: this man put his whole ass into what might be the best god damn color page in the entire series

Tozuka's art style has really come a long way over the last five years: the coloring, the shading, the perspective, the composition, it's all so good! I want this thing hanging in my home

If I had one complaint about it, it's that the scene it's depicting isn't dietetic to the chapter - not only does the conversation in the chapter itself immediately pick up where last week's left off, but Andy/Fuuko and Victor/Juiz are flipped

They do end up in those positions by the end of the chapter, but we clearly see Nico telling Void to retrieve the rest of the cast in the cover page, so it's not like the cover page takes place after the events of the chapter, it's meant to help facilitate it. I think Tozuka got a little confuzzled on the continuity here. My guess is that Tozuka was told he'd get the color page this week after he'd already written the chapter and he just got a little mixed up. That's my Tozuka headcanon

Honestly though, this is really just a nitpick anway; it doesn't actually hurt the emotional impact of the chapter at all, and even if it did, the damage would be so negligible that this would still be one of the best chapters of the year for a bunch of reasons

While every chapter lately has been paying off longstanding setups and themes, I don't think any has been quite so densely packed or far-reaching as this one

New Loop New Me

It was a pretty small moment all things considered, but Julia asking Fuuko to refer to her as "Julia" was effectively the end of the Remember storyline and Fuuko's insecurities about utilizing it

Philosophically, the worry was always that Juiz and Julia were mutually exclusive, that either Julia would kill Juiz or Juiz would overwrite Julia, but this debate overlooks the obvious conclusion. It doesn't actually matter if she's Juiz or Julia: the only thing that matters is that she's happy

Like everything else in this series, the whole purpose of Julia's very existence is to overcome the tragedies of the past and find joy in life, and that is exactly what she does for Juiz. She is not simply Juiz with Julia's life tacked on, nor is she merely Julia with Juiz's memories: from her perspective, she's both. She's Julia with the weight of Juiz's past and Juiz with the hope of Julia's future, and this dichotomy provides her the context to appreciate both aspects of her identity

I think the narrative trick here was that our only precedent for Julia's scenario was Victor; both of them lost their memories and had to discover themselves from scratch, so in the same way that Andy became his own distinct persona, we assumed Julia would be distinct from Juiz. The difference, of course, is that Victor created Andy to retain his memories and circumvent Remember's memory erasure, whereas Juiz became Julia to start a new life without the burden of her memories until she was ready to accept them

In other words, where each of them tried to reset the other so they'd have a chance at happiness, only Juiz embraced the opportunity that the reset presented. This doesn't make Victor wrong for having rejected it, of course, as like everything else, it's all a matter of perspective. To Victor, losing his memories would have meant death, whereas to Juiz losing her memories meant rebirth

This chapter validates both of these perspectives by having Julia and Juiz unify into one persona and by having Victor and Andy finally separate permanently

Ripped Apart

It was a huge relief to have Andy and Victor's reunification addressed so quickly, I was honestly pretty upset when Andy said the split would only last ten minutes, and man was it resolved spectacularly!

Not only does it mean that we've truly reached the endgame without losing a single member of the Union, but it's also the perfect capstone for Rip. I was worried after we skipped the Sick fight that Rip wouldn't get to have a good sendoff, but as always, Tozuka delivers!

At the end of L100, Rip entrusted Andy with ensuring that Leila survived in L101; while Andy wasn't personally involved in the surgery, he was responsible for defeating Sick and for helping Fuuko even make it to L101 to perform the surgery herself in the first place. This moment, where Rip uses Unrepair to sever the connection between Andy and Victor's souls, is both repayment for Andy's efforts and a symbolic shift in Rip's character

In L100, Rip viewed himself as the villain, the singular person who needed to be burdened with the weight of the sins needed to see his goals realized. All alone, Rip would hurt anyone, sacrifice anyone's happiness, including his own, to see his selfish dream realized. In the end, he even sacrificed Latla in a vain attempt to defeat Andy. He gave up everything and gained absolutely nothing. His happiness was Unrepairable

By entrusting L101 to Andy, by allowing himself to share the burden and responsibility, Rip created the scenario that would prevent him from losing anything. No longer a lone villain, Rip was able to become one of many heroes, thanks in no small part to Victor bypassing Unrepair to heal Andy's wounds. Now, to repay the favor, Rip uses Unrepair not to destroy happiness, but to destroy unhappiness

Thinking about it, it's appropriate that Victor was able to contribute to this change in Rip: both of them tried to push away their support systems because they believed themselves to be the only ones capable of shouldering their respective burdens, and ultimately only found happiness by learning to trust others

The idea that any given person is the most important person in the world, that they're the only one capable of making an impact, is one that the entire series has been fighting against from the very beginning, and this chapter is the culmination of that stance

Main Character Syndrome

I've seen a lot of responses to this chapter ribbing it for saying that Andy and Fuuko aren't the main characters when they are, quite literally, the main characters of this manga, but I really hope that they aren't being said in earnest, cus that's really missing the point

Andy and Fuuko are the focus of the manga, yes, but that only makes them the most important characters to us, the audience. From a Doylist perspective, this speech is a little silly, in much the same way that a character in a movie saying "this isn't a movie, it's real life!" is, but you have to remember that the characters don't know that they're characters. To be able to apply its ideas to the real world, the story needs to present the ideas as real

This is not Tozuka saying that Kururu is just as important to the narrative as Fuuko, this is Tozuka saying that you, you specifically reading this right now, are no more or less important than anyone around you. That you, your family, your friends, your neighbors, strangers on the street, and even your most hated enemies, are all equally valuable. You all have your own lives that you all are in control of, and how you lead your life will have an impact on others. You have the power to make yourself and those around you happy, and so do they. That is what makes us all valuable, what makes us all special, what makes us the leads in our own lives

Rip forgot this and tried to sacrifice anyone who could have helped him repair his fractured life. Victor forgot this and tried to get Juiz to abandon him to his eternal suffering. Billy forgot this and tried to make everyone his enemy. Even Juiz forgot this and abandoned her vision of justice, refusing to trust her Union with vital information, sacrificing the happiness of the few for the many, and ultimately losing the one person she was fighting for in the first place

It was only by coming to acknowledge that other people were just as capable, just as important as them, that each of them was able to finally reach the happiness they always wanted. It's just that, narratively, it's more impactful for them all to trust in the same people: Andy and Fuuko. Even the fact that there are two main characters reinforces the theme that there is no one person who can shoulder everything alone, as each of them shares the burden with the other

Yes, it's silly for the titular character to say he's not the main character, but even with his immortality, he never would have made it this far without all of the people standing behind him here; the man he used to be, standing right beside him, can attest to that

It's perfect, then, that the entirety of the Union now stands in opposition to a single enemy: Rule Number One, Soul

One Is the Loneliest Number

Okay, technically they're facing Soul and Sun right now, but it honestly looks more like Soul is piloting Sun like a mech than teaming up with him at the moment. That's not teamwork, that's possession

Both in theory and praxis, Soul represents a sort of ideological dark side of everything that the Union stands for. As Andy says, when Soul was introduced as a Rule, there wasn't a way to differentiate people; everyone was the same. But where Andy says this to mean that no one is better than anyone else, Soul's perspective is that no one should be able to stand out from the crowd

Rather than unity, Soul represents homogeneity. In the original world, all souls were just floating masses of energy - no names, no faces, no voices, no abilities, no interests, no goals. Vacant lives, eternally stagnant, devoid of purpose or meaning, doing nothing to differentiate themselves from one another and with no means to do so even if they wanted to

No wonder God got bored

Variety is the spice of life, after all, and it seems that Soul doesn't have the stomach for it. As the original Rule, Soul doesn't simply represent the literal human soul, but also strict adherence to the Rules themselves, and that means no deviation can be tolerated. The connection between souls, the ability to divide one soul into two, these are aberrations that were never intended to be possible when his Rule was introduced

But as we established a few weeks ago, the mere introduction of a Rule inherently begs the question of its inverse: what happens if you tether two souls together? What if you cut a soul in half?

These are the kinds of questions that surely came about when each UMA was introduced, and are surely the reason why God embraced the discovery of the Negators as glitches in the system: the Rules are much more fun to watch when someone's trying to break them

Looking at it from that angle, one might even argue that God is actually the ultimate enemy to the Rules: Sun and Luna aren't actually on the side of the UMAs, the UMAs are just a mechanic in their game, and are perfectly expendable if it means that they'll get to have more fun

If that's the case, then Soul's possession of Sun's body is just as much an act of rebellion against God as it is an act of defiance against the Union - by stealing Sun's body, Soul homogenizes their identities and threatens to take control of the Rules themselves, potentially bringing the world back to its origin

By forcefully merging himself with his creator, supplanting one identity for the other, Soul takes the weight of the world upon himself, refusing to share it with anyone else, and all of the themes of the chapter come full circle

This may impact my theory about Soul's Phase 3 from last week, as it's seeming less and less likely that Soul will be able to take the lessons of changing his perspective to heart, but I think the idea of Soul taking everyone's powers for himself could still work to reinforce the themes presented here. As always, we'll just have to wait and see, and also as always, I'm only getting more and more excited to do so!

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[tcfactory]

For the fic writers' fruit ask, if you've time:

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?

Fruit fanfic writer ask game [Accepting]

🍑: Well, my two favorite things are transformers and final fantasy xiv and would you look at that, ffxiv already has one alien robot with massive destructive capabilities (Omega Weapon, my favorite robot beetle of mass destruction with PTSD). Also their world is fucked up enough (not sure if you are familiar at all, so please imagine a space-time bubble thinly separated from the rest of the universe, and the planet inside has been split apart into 13 "reflections" that function as localized parallel universes, more or less) that the crossover events with other properties (Monster Hunter, NieR, etc.) are considered at least canon-adjacent, so it's entirely plausible for any number of transformers to show up in this (at first glance) high-fantasy setting.

Which means that technically nothing stops me from fishing TFP Soundwave out of the Shadowzone and dumping him in Eorzea.

Would it be kinda stupid? Probably. Would it be really funny? Also probably. Will I write it? ...well, shit, now I'm tempted.

🫐: I only really got back into the fandom recently, so I'm not really up on trends, but Soundwave/Megatron is a ship that deserves more love (including from me ashghfsd). I'm especially a fan of their TFP dynamic - king warlord and his loyal knight is a setup I really enjoy and I love the TFP character designs a lot.

...also bottom Megatron. Someone should pin the big guy down and show him a good time until he doesn't know up from down.

🍇: Nothing comes to mind specifically? I usually latch onto characters rather than events/scenes. I guess I kind of want to do a rewrite of the Orion Pax debacle from TFP one of these days, because I remember feeling like there was a lot of lost potential there, but it's been quite a lot time since I last watched the show. Also the last page of MTMtE 11 lives rent free in my head - An Intimate Beheading indeed - but I would need to reread the comics again before I would dare to do anything with that tbh.

If we are talking more about general scenarios, as much as I love a good bit of drama and the Horrors along the way, I like my hopeful and/or happy endings. Nothing wrong with a downer ending, they can be very poignant and thought provoking - even satisfying, at times - I just don't like writing them. 😅 If I can spin the story in a way that would give a good end for my faves, I will probably do it.

[foxes-that-run]

2019 Haylor Timeline

Timeline Tag, Back to 2018

1 January - Taylors New Years Eve costume party she dresses as Ariel

3 January - MH asks to produce Harry's next album... via twitter.... and says Harry has blocked him.

6 January - Taylor in LA at Golden Globes afterparty

9 January - Harry still in Japan

Miss Americana filmed between Rep tour and Lover, released in 2020.

16 January - Kiko Mizuhara says she has never met Harry, then

2 February - Kiko at Harry's birthday party they may or may not have dated.

18 January - Taylor seen at recording studio in NYC (suggested Me!, but I think that's too late, it was released as a single in April)

26 January - Harry still in Japan

1 February - Harry's 25th Birthday “I had a very Murakami birthday because I ended up staying in Tokyo on my own. I had grilled fish and miso soup for breakfast, then I went to this cafe. I sat and drank tea and read for five hours.” (Harry Styles on his 25th birthday, Rolling Stone 2019)

10 February - Joe and Taylor go to Harry's local, the Spaniards Inn Hampstead Heath ...... Harry was in LA on the 12th. Seen walking in Paris in March and not again for 7 months.

12 February - Joe and Taylor attend the BAFTAS Taylor is photographed having dinner with Liam Payne

5 March - Taylor things before 30 article, includes that Andrea is again in treatment

14 March - Harry arriving at gym in London

28 March - Harry JFK airport, then hotel in NY

29 March - Harry and Xander dinner Ny

5 April - Harry in London

18 April - Joe seen at La screening. Emma Roberts and Garrett Hedlund (Billy long time half whatever costar) at Taylor’s house for dinner. Joe seen with agent

23 April - Taylor plays Time 100 show setlist is Style, Delicate, Love Story, NYD and Shake it off

25 April - Taylor announces Me! On NFL draft and interviewer says she was crying in the green room, Taylor says she’s emotional about Me! She looks uncomfortable, keeps putting mic down

26 April Me! Video released, just before April 29 anniversary... taylor posts video of Joe patting very small Benjamin (he would be bigger by then, he looks 8 weeks)

28 April - Joe posted photo of self in London. Not seen with Taylor till October, in London for master sale news and Andrea cancer

2 May - Taylor Zane Lowe Me! Interview

3 May - Harry in LA

5 May - Harry Anna Wintour's apartment, pre-met Gala dinner

7 May - Harry hosts his only met gala attendance, Taylor’s doesn’t go anymore. Adore you and Lights up written in May. Harry and Kendall have after party and both leave at 6am and both stayed at the Bowery hotel. Jeff and Xander also there.

May - 6 July Joe filming A Christmas Carol in Hampstead Heath and stays in London after. Taylor in US, billboard awards, Lover media

15 May Harry was in the studio, Harry writes Adore You, Lights up, Treat People with Kindness, starts Boyfriends.

18 May - Harry driving a bright yellow vintage ferrari in Malibu, you can practically hear golden in that photo.

20 May (Haylor anniversary #1), still in studio, Harry wears a white horses shirt and fearless gold shorts on the beach in Malibu. While Horse is a Fearless song he also references in the Daylight video. Fine Line then complete

21 May - Gucci Swan Campaign released

24 May - Taylor in Paris with Joe, she recreates scenes from Begin Again which are later in the TV version of Taylor Swift Live in the City of Lover, except the concert was filmed months later when Joe was not there.

3, 6 June - Harry in London,

9 June - Blind that Taylor & Joe double date was PR setup

24 June - karlies second wedding Taylor not there not on tour

25 June - Taylor’s dad, as a Big Machine Shareholder Scott Swift, was alerted of the proposed sale.

29 June - Scott Borcetta texted Taylor about sale

30 June Big Machine Records sold with Taylor’s masters.

1 July - Taylor statement never in her worst nightmare that scooter owns her work

2-6July - Taylor in Virgin Isles with her mum, Ashley and the Haim sisters, Joe still filming UK, wrapped a Christmas carol 7th, wrap party the 9th

10 July Taylor Performs at Amazon Prime event in NYC, points at a figure in Delicate fans imagine to be Joe.

11 July - Fan saw Joe in London out at 1am. Second fan saw him on the 12th.

15-17 June - Harry visits Xander in Philly, airport photos

18 July - Harry sells LA house at a loss after 2 years on market

20 July - Taylor in NYC

29 July - Harry in NYC for Rolling Stone shoot in Hawaiian shirt (the eternal sunshine of Harry styles story with Rob Sheffield)

1 August - Gucci fragrance campaign where Harry plays with a ring and leans his head on a blonde lady with a cat masks shoulder. This mask is vintage, there is a Tiktok of the guy who owns it. Taylor wore a similar mask in the LAWYMMD video and was filming cats. We don't know who's in the mask, Harris Reed is on the set and I wonder if it is her.

4 August - Harry shot Lights Up music video in Mexico

6 August - Harry in philli

10 August - Karlie and scooter on holiday together! Karlie doesn’t post, scooter does. Ed, Cara, Martha show support unfollowing scooter. Kendall likes scooters wife’s post defending him.

19 August - stories that KK falling out was she threw a party in Taylor’s NY house

23 August - Lover released. Lover Video released with quite clear Haylor references. Taylor says relationship not up for discussion. in NYC Taylor poses next to a photo of One Direction backstage at a signing in Brooklyn New York.

26 August - Taylor lover PR NY Joe watches with Andrea

29 August - Taylor films BBC Live Lounge in NY with emotional performance of London Boy, Lover, The Archer, I can’t stop loving you (Phil Collin’s), Holy Ground and YNTCD. Holy Ground and ICSlY are particularly emotional and Taylor talks about loving someone even if they don’t love you back and that she chose Holy Ground because it refers to NY. Report Joe there. Was seen in London

2 September - Harry in London, then disappears for 10 days. Gucci Fragrance Campaign where Harry wore the Haylor Ring.

6 September - Taylor at fleabag play alone

7 September - both at Ed Sheeran's wedding in a big top. Joe maybe there no photos at all

8 September Niall followed Joe; Joe didn’t follow back until 21 Sept after going to Taylor’s RI house. Joe in Toronto TIF promo photos that day. Joe in Toronto, X fans said he wouldn’t do any interviews on red carpet only fans

9 September - Taylor records City of Lover in Paris. Live setlist #7 was DBAC and #13 was Style, also played Love Story, Delicate, ATW, Red, Style and Shake it Off

11 September - Blind that Joe wasn't able to talk about Taylor, about stilted showing at Favorite premiere

12 September - Harry seen in London and MIA till LAX on 17th

14 September - Joe and Taylor Rhode Island and fly to London

17 September - Harry private club Hollywood

24 September - Harry seen with Xander in LA

26 September - Harry Miami with Xander

28 September - Harry leaves Miami with Gucci Mickey Mouse suitcase.

29 September - Harry in London gallery with Georgia Ritz and her BF (Xander’s sister)

4 October - Harry seen with fans in London. Matty Healy says he wants to produce Taylors record (said about Harry earlier the year) and went on to say 'that taylor swift song about supporting gay people, when it came out we already knew that."

5 October Joe hold hands at Taylors SNL appearance, Elle comments 'their version of PDA at least' which is holding hands. Do you know who you are starts. Taylor performs Lover at SNL, the arrangement is acoustic and slow, she's wearing green, with a green piano and green floor, walls and nails! The music sheets look like paper planes. False God also.

11 October - lights up released

14 October - Harry at John Mayer concert at O2 London, John posts backstage photo.

21 October - A Fashion designer said they met Harry at the Bowery Hotel

27 October - Harry goes on stage at Kasey Musgraves last concert, wearing an all black version of the Fine Line Outfit.

28 October - Taylor's tiny desk concert, her CD is still in the background for Harry's in March.

5 November - Harry announced Fine Line

12, 17 November - Harry in New York

13 November - Joe and Taylor Thai restaurant Hampstead

16 November - Watermelon Sugar released as promotional single. Harry with Xander NY

20 November - Harry filmed the cross walk concert

22 November - sponsored tweets for Eroda Tourism started ❤️ Scooter wrote open letter to Taylor wanting a resolution saying his family was being threatened

23 November Harry's Zane Lowe interview (SNL 16 Nov)

1 December - Taylor on cover of British Vogue

3 December - Harry announced Adore you confirming Eroda is related.

7 December - Harry performs at Capitals Jingle Bell Ball, London

8 December - Taylor performs at Capitals Jingle Bell Ball, London

11 December - Kendall and Harry on Spill your guts

13 December - Fine Line released, Taylor’s birthday, Harry performed it in LA that night Harry Styles ‘Fine Line’ Concert at Forum in L.A. – Rolling Stone. Photos of Harry in Japan released. Taylor also performed that night but at MSG NY, making of photos. Rumour Xander there. Taylor performs in NY for Jingle Bell Ball and tells Fletcher "She had mentioned to me how much she loved the lyrics [to Undrunk]. I nearly fainted and passed away at that moment." Undrunk is about wanting to be over an ex.

15 December - Taylor’s 30th birthday party in NY with all the famous people, tiny pupils and a cat face cake. Media says Joe there, but:

16 December - Joe is in London, not at Taylor's birthday

18 December - Cats premiere, Taylor has a swollen lip. Joe attends holds hands as they leave. Flakes answering about holiday plans. Joe does Christmas Carol interview where he says he jumps in Hampstead Heath Pond every year. What convenient cross marketing, the film is shot in Hampstead, Paper Rings refers to icy outdoor pools. I wonder if he ran into Harry there. Harry at BBC Live Lounge recorded Juice cover

31 December - Joe, Taylor and friends at Maldives for New Years, Harry first wore the But Daddy I love him shirt on New Years Eve video of him dancing with no shoes and tipped a bartender $2020 in Anguilla in the Caribbean

Continue in 2020

[waywardsalt]

loz in the court of the crimson king au bulletpoints or whatever because i never talk about this au but want to yap abt it now!!!!!

yeah the fact that its named after that album is important the song of (mostly) the same name i used as a framework for the plot, the other songs in the album are used for character/other plot stuff and relevant whatever, im going to use song lyrics for chapter titles, there are literally characters referred to as the crimson king, the black queen, the yellow jester, all that from the song it’s all relevant and also the album is good listen to it. once the lyrics in moonchild are over i wont blame you for dipping after that point its mostly Noise

primarily a ganonbeck au but its also the one with the homoerotic friendship(????) between bellum and linebeck that did the most in making me realize that yeah i do actually ship it

also the au where i have to pull off linebeck being 19-20 and the adoptive older brother of link and aryll. but he also has to pull it off in-universe because ofc he looks nothing like them and also looks older than he actually is and the cane really doesn’t help

also yeah cane user linebeck when he was a kid he fucked up his ankle really bad (ha) and it didn’t heal correctly so he needs a cane on occasion it’s a whole thing and i hope to actually do this justice when i get around to writing this au

general setup of linebeck being an adopted family member to link and aryll and their grandmother, and he spends half of his time living with them in their small apartment and being the one most capable of actually making money, and leaves every other week for a full week to do work out in the city

the city is a sort of industrial sort of city, split into some major districts, with hylians and zora and gorons and all of the major races living in this sorta industrial slightly fantasy city. there’s a train system. originally there was some kinda body of water between sections of the city primarily to allow for sea travel but it truly doesnt work for what the story needs so it’s just a sort of industrial type city, and the whole story takes place only in the city

general plot idea is that while linebeck spends half of his time at home with his adoptive family, the other half of his time he spends, yes, doing odd jobs around the city, but most of his income comes from working directly with bellum, who assigns him targets for murder and theft, which he carries out while in costume of the 'demon of the gray moon', an urban legend figure in the city that he came up with when he was like seven that he's mostly able to pull off because of bellum's support

bellum is one of the leaders of the city. there's five and they each anonymously hold control over one of the districts in the city and all try to get and edge over the others and all have assorted little lackies working for them. bellum does have a gaggle of lackies (tbh theyre likely going to be versions of the bosses) but he is the most close and open with linebeck, who is also the only one to know that he operates as one of the leaders

ganondorf is another leader. he's the crimson king (technically one of two) in question. the main thing that kicks of the story is bellum tasking linebeck with spying on and doing research into ganondorf to see if he's one of those leaders, as bellum has a strong hunch and is trying to identify the other leaders

linebeck and bellum met when they were kids, linebeck being an actual kid and bellum kinda just. pretending to be one and acting like hes aging at a human rate and w/e. link, aryll, and their grandmother have technically met bellum, but when he appears much more human and uses a false name. he very rarely actually uses his little real demon form in this au

yeah linebeck spends a lot of his time in his work weeks hanging out with bellum and taking advantage of the higher quality of life he gets when crashing at bellum's place and living in his part of the city. there's a whole. country mouse city mouse thing going on. he does not, in fact, save a lot of the money he earns at work for the sake of his adoptive family

linebeck does really care about his adoptive family but has more complicated feelings about them and his situation, but does genuinely try to make sure they're safe, having convinced bellum to help him in that, though his more dubious activities do also happen to

in general there's the split between linebeck's time with his adoptive family and his time with bellum and as the demon of the gray moon, and how they end up mixing even while he tries to keep them separate for reasons that are mostly selfish on his end. including him deciding that he should ask ganondorf out on a date while bellum desperately tries to keep him focused on the job at hand

[thewickedbohemian]

Thoughts on what was ACTUALLY the Found mid-season finale (last episode really felt like it)

Whether or not you think there's anything romantic between Sir and Gabi (I don't, I think in her mind there's just anger and in his he sees it as more (pardon my reference to a paranormal show for a realistic-fiction one) a Giles/Buffy sort of thing), the narrative sure likes to either play chicken with it or try to have it both ways (as yeah there was all the more mentor/father-figure-y implications but the bit with the notebook heart was readable as him thinking she had feelings for him)

Speaking of romantic imagery surrounding them regardless of the romantic relationship, between her background and brains, the connection he feels, and him luring her in with a library full of classics, does Sir think this is Beauty And The Beast or something?

(not fully just because of the specific tactic the therapist was trying) Margaret at the therapist giving me mad Diana Goodman from Next To Normal energy

Especially since we know there will be a S2 where does the narrative go from here given the cliffhanger, y'know, how is her call not going to mean what we think or how is the formula going to change in a way that makes this more than just "a normal procedural with a case theme"

If come S2 Sir is still a major player (and I feel like he has to be not just because of setup but because there's things about the past we haven't seen in flashbacks like it's barely touched on Lacey even though presumably she was still there for a significant amount of time) I want the S2 trailers to have as their background music some kind of creepy (music-box, minor-key, or slowed-down-in-the-same-way-as-Lana-Del-Rey's-Once-Upon-A-Dream-cover as long as it has lyrics) cover of "To Sir With Love" by Lulu

Despite last episode feeling like a mid-season-finale case this one still did in a different way as everyone (even including Sir if he unofficially counts) had some way to be emotionally connected and/or was doing some serious grade-A projecting of their own perspective onto some player in the case

It's not just the flashbacks but I feel like even the present-day narrative apart from episode 2 and the end of last episode (and therefore kind of the fandom) has kind of glossed over Lacey and no wonder people on one of the subs were comparing her to those interchangeable Law & Order SVU DA ladies or w/e that seemingly narratively exist solely to tell Olivia what she's doing is wrong and get shot down by her when the narrative though acknowledging Lacey does have trauma just kinda lets everyone else bounce theirs off her

Regardless of if Sir has any mental illness/neurodivergence (as despite what my mom thinks I doubt it's all just childhood trauma underlying why his mind goes those places), dude's metaphorically got no theory of mind. It's not just in the flashbacks with how he assumes connection not in evidence from his and Gabi's shared intellect and tragic/chaotic background (and btw if any weird mental crap he has explains his fixation I think it's less anything that could have a romantic/sexual component and more a BPD-esque favorite person thing and that's the way she took the place of the woman he met as a kid in his mind) but even when he's attempting to help her with her investigations he has a tendency to assume things about the mind or character of victims or suspects based on his experience (either of his own mind or how he views the world)

[eurydicees]

idk how I missed all of ur posts about the hq pacrim au until this morning??? but now that ive been exposed im so excited oh my god (I am Very Normal about both of these things)

anyway what does raptor three look like? is it just a crimson typhoon kinda setup? who works on her? (ik u said hanamaki and matsukawa were jaeger techs but these r big ol bots and I can't imagine those two work on All of them especially when they designed Blue Castle so they know her specifically in and out)

also kuroken k-sci division, pls tell me more about kuroken k-sci division🙏🙏🙏

oh my god SO sorry this took me a hundred years to get to! i got busy and lost track of this au…but it has been reborn in the form of my nanowrimo project LOL. you (and anyone/everyone) should continue to ask me about the pacific rim au please and thank you. so many things have changed since my first posts !!!!! 

also this ask did remind me that kuroken were going to be the scientists, which i had lowkey almost forgotten about when i restarted the fic on april 1, so ty ty ty for that. here’s some more about them and the jaegers under the cut ! 

kuroken: 

first off, they didn’t know each other before coming to work at the shatterdome together! the only people who knew each other before coming together in tokyo were iwaizumi and oikawa, the rest of the haikyuu characters involved have never met before. there will be no explanation for this

kenma was recruited in his first year of university because he was posting his theories and amateur research online and it caught the attention of people with resources who wanted to see if he could find anything if given access to more tech and info than his dorm room gamer setup 

turns out that yes, yes he can find things if given more resources. he’s the one who comes up with the theory about kaiju attack patterns and the increasing rate etc etc 

kuroo, for his part, became a researcher in the science dept after incessantly sending his findings to whoever he could get in contact with, knowing he was On To Something and needed resources to share it

kenma is one of the people he gave his research to (twitter besties!), and kenma invited him to the tokyo shatterdome to work together

turns out that working together is frustrating sometimes but they love nothing more than to constantly annoy each other <3 but they do respect each other’s work even if they don’t always agree on methods or conclusions 

ex. kuroo’s research was founded on samples he got from the black market; kenma’s research is all too theoretical for kuroo; etc etc 

daichi and suga’s jaeger 

so ngl i forgot that asahi was originally a part of this

he is not longer a part of this

rip raptor three

anyways daichi and suga now pilot a mark-3 together called raptor flight. i’m imagining something like saber athena, which is from uprising but who cares. i can do whatever i want 

most important features of raptor-2: fastest model to date, extremely acrobatic/dextrous/agile, equipped with ionic twinblades (she gets two swords <3 ) that can be synced/combined into one stronger weapon (are you seeing the references i am making. are you seeing them), and an n-16 particle charger (plasma cannon thing) 

i’ve decided that asahi is the main tech for raptor-2 (hey he’s still here! yay!). he was also the main designer and tech for daichi and his sister’s jaeger, ursa juliet, before his sister dies and the model is ripped apart 

daichi is on the right in both raptor-2 and ursa juliet; suga is on the left in raptor-2 

iwaoi’s jaeger

blue castle is going to be vaguely modeled after striker eureka 

trivia fun fact of the day: striker eureka was planned to be the main jaeger in the movie until they were like well actually this robot is too cold and arrogant appearing to be the hero robot. this is deeply funny to me and also why it is perfect for blue castle 

blue castle is a mark-2 and was an experimental design by two intern jaeger tech development scientists, hanamaki and matsukawa (who get promoted to active jaeger techs as soon as blue castle is successfully put into use) - as the years go on, this design becomes a pretty common basis to design off of for future models 

most important features: extremely strong, aerodynamic, stable, and agile, equipped with 4.211 brass knuckles (exactly what it sounds like) and assault mount 3.25 sting blades (two swords attached to arms), missile launcher mounted in the chest, and advanced displays in the conn-pod which allow them a 4-way view of their surroundings

also not unexpected, but worth saying: iwaizumi is on the left, oikawa on the right 

jaeger visuals

ok so i wrote all of that out and then i found the pacific rim: uprising jaeger design maker thingy online here and i decided i’m bored enough to do that actually. these aren’t , like, exactly what i’m imagining, so kinda mush together the canon jaeger references with these generated images lol. i’m gonna try so hard to describe them in the fic. we’ll see how that goes. 

anyways, blue castle to the left and raptor-2 on the right! and below is striker eureka to the left and saber athena to the right. anyways i’m having SO much fun with this jaeger generator from 2018 lmfao can you tell 

overall. aaaaaa.

im so excited to be coming back to this. anyways more in my #hq pacrim au tag (though much of that is outdated) or eventually also in my #april nano 2024 tag !!!! and pls pls pls come talk to me about it !!!!!

[brandonxdylan]

Ranking the GAY EPISODES of Beverly Hills, 90210 - Part 1

Pride month may be coming to a close, but I didn’t want to let it slip by without doing a little something special. I thought it would be fun to do an overview of all of the gay-themed storylines from the series. There were quite a few of them over the years (although not as many as there were seasons of the show, which perhaps is saying something), especially considering for a show that didn’t have any significant queer content on a consistent basis, and certainly no gay regulars to speak of. These episodes run the gamut from throwaway fluff to pretty dark and heavy, and I’m going to rank them in terms of how effectively I think they handle the “gay” element (spoiler alert: not well), as well as how satisfying they are in terms of soapy drama.

I really tried to give these episodes a fair shake, knowing that it would be pointless to judge them for not delivering deeply nuanced takes in an era where we simply were not getting that on prime time network television. I feel like they still mostly fall short, but there’s enough good stuff in here to warrant some genuine consideration.

A couple of caveats before going forward. First of all, some of these episodes deal with some serious themes (AIDS, suicide, gay bashing), so consider yourself trigger warned. Secondly, this post is all in good fun, so lets not take it (or my hot takes) too seriously.

#8.) Crimes and Misdemeanours (Season 8, Episode 19)

Kicking things off, in dead last we have this dud from season 8, which has precisely one, single joke to offer, and still manages to screw it up. Steve runs into a woman at the Peach Pit, and while flirting with her, makes passing reference to Brandon, his “partner.” Obviously, he means business partner, but when she invites Steve and his “boyfriend” Brandon to lunch with she and her “girlfriend,” she clearly means it, and Steve somehow doesn’t think anything of it, and is all to happy to report to Brandon that he snagged them an awesome double date. At lunch, the two “couples” somehow get through the entire meal just beating around the bush, with the women (obviously lesbians by this point) clearly referring to Brandon and Steve as a couple, but these dummies of course don’t pick up on any of this out of sheer dimwittery and, I don’t know, super thick hetero-goggles or something. No, it’s not until Steve and Brandon are invited to the women’s apartment for dinner (which Steve expects to be an orgy, because of course he does) and they’re literally staring at the one bed shared by both women that either of them start to realize what’s really going on. Gay panic ensues, and the whole thing is played for laughs (not that there are any). I’m a sucker for these ridiculous sicomy setups involving misunderstandings and misplaced romantic interest, and this show can occasionally do them well (the luau episode from season 10 is a fabulous example of this, and also has some fun gay content - more on that later), but the problem is none of this is funny or surprising. Neither is it insensitive or exploitative. It’s just kind of stupid. The reveal can be seen coming a mile away, and the whole episode is just buildup to what I’ll generously call the punchline. A better show would’ve done a lot more with this, maybe playing with the concept of Steve seeing heterosexuality as the default, and being blind to other possibilities. Ideally, it also would have had more than one joke.

#7.) Comic Relief/Santa Knows (Season 8, Episodes 13-14)

David takes a job at a car wash, where he notices a bunch of his coworkers making very boring and unimaginative gay jokes about a young male employee named Ben who lives in the garage’s office due to the fact that his dad kicked him out for being gay. David confronts Ben’s parents in the hopes of getting them to see the error of their ways, but the interaction ends with Ben’s dad choosing to declare that “I don’t have a son,” rather than accept Ben for who he is. It’s really harsh, but in dad’s defense, David has very little tact, and it’s really none of his business considering he met Ben five minutes ago. In spite of this, Ben still holds out hope for a reconciliation. While his mom is somewhat more receptive than his dad, she still tells Ben that it’s for the best that he give his dad time to cool down. David once again intervenes, asking Ben’s mom - a woman who is very clearly deeply torn between her love for her son and her need to grant her husband the authority he commands - why she can’t just explain to her husband why taking Ben back in is the right thing to do, as if it’s just that easy. And that’s really the problem with this storyline. It deals with some really dark and emotionally complicated subject matter, and it’s just so glaringly obvious that telling this story from the perspective of a detached outsider is not the best way to approach it. Especially considering it’s David, whose track record for empathy and compassion is fucking zero. Give this to someone like Steve, which would allow him to experience some emotional growth alongside Ben’s parents, or Valerie, who has her own history of familial turmoil (though she does pop up later in this episode and isn’t much more helpful than David, so maybe scratch that one). All of this proves to be too much for Ben to take, and David discovers that he plans to slit his wrists. This is where Val gets involved, as she and David basically just berate Ben into not hurting himself, with Val insisting that she understands Ben’s particular struggles more than she actually does or possibly could. They both give him the “tough love” treatment which, hey, is maybe not what this kid whose parents openly hate him actually needs. Still, it all ends up somewhat happily because of course all Ben and his parents really needed was for someone from the gang to show up out of nowhere and yell at them a bit in order to figure their shit out. This is a story worth telling, but coming at it from the perspective of someone who has nothing to do with it doesn’t allow for much depth. And it really doesn’t satisfy as a soapy plot line either. Even that would require more of an investment from the viewer, and we simply don’t have time or reason to suddenly be all in on this character who comes out of nowhere for two episodes and then disappears forever. Ultimately, this story is just too bleak and depressing to be much fun, and too shallow to be emotionally satisfying.

#6.) Summer Storm (Season 2, Episode 3)

This isn’t ranked low because it’s a bad episode. On the contrary, it’s actually a pretty good episode from one of the show’s best seasons, and builds on one of the show’s most iconic storylines - namely, Brenda and Dylan. However, that doesn’t really concern us here. What does concern us is the B story, about how Kelly meets a cute volleyball player named Kyle. They flirt a bit and eventually go on a date, but when Kelly starts putting the moves on Kyle, he suggests they cool it. Spoiler alert, it’s because he (sort of) comes out as gay later in the episode. But even if he didn’t, Kelly’s reaction to this is really weird. She takes it oddly personally that he doesn’t want to get naked with her on the first date, and gives him the cold shoulder the next day. I haven’t watched these early seasons in several years now but I guess Kelly’s always been a pouty drama queen. Anyway, Kyle does eventually confide in Kelly, telling her that he’s tried to be into girls, and that he genuinely likes her, but that he knows they can’t be more than friends. It’s kind of cute, and Kyle’s conundrum is a pretty common one. Though it’s definitely possible to assume he doesn’t come out as fully gay because the show didn’t want to go too far, it’s also kind of nice to get a portrayal of a character in the process of figuring out his sexuality, without any clear resolution. That is how it works in real life sometimes after all. But considering this is such a minor storyline and the queer content is pretty tepid, it’s hard to rank this any higher than I have it.

#5.) Baby, You Can Drive My Car/Family Tree (Season 10, Episodes 8-9)

Dylan meets with a guy named Andrew, who is one of the directors of a local community centre for kids, in order to discuss making a hefty donation. Andrew makes passing reference to an ex-boyfriend, which prompts a discussion about how Andrew has to remain closeted among co-workers out of fear of losing his job. He knows that there are some bigots out there who would have some not-so-great feelings about a gay man working with their kids (that old chestnut), and his co-director is apparently one of them. Dylan tries to reason that “hey, it’s the 90s,” and that Andrew shouldn’t have to be closeted for those reasons. Andrew, of course, knows better, and while he agrees that no, he shouldn’t have to, the fact remains that he does. To demonstrate that at least he accepts Andrew for who he is, Dylan puts his arm around him in a playful (yet platonic way). Unfortunately, this happens in a dark parking lot and within the presence of a group of homophobes whom proceed to attack Dylan and Andrew with a baseball bat. While Dylan manages to wrestle the bat away from one of the guys (sure) and escapes with just a few bumps and bruises, Andrew doesn’t get off quite as easy. Dylan’s eager to spill details to the cops, but Andrew refuses, on the grounds that he not only doesn’t want to drag this whole unpleasant incident out any further, but he also doesn’t want to draw any more attention that might put him (and his job) at further risk. Andrew’s fears prove to be perfectly justified when, through circumstance, his co-director, Patsy, finds out anyway, and suggests Andrew take a (permanent) leave of absence. As is always the case with this show when there’s a Gay in trouble, a member of the gang makes it their problem to solve, and so Dylan confronts Patsy about Andrew being let go. Although Andrew specifically tells Dylan that he doesn’t want his help, fearing that pushing his luck with Patsy is just going to make things more public and humiliating, Dylan says that he can’t justify donating to a bigoted organization, and he threatens to pull his funding if Patsy doesn’t agree to hire Andrew back. She reluctantly relents, allowing Andrew to return to work, but she pulls her son from Andrew’s basketball team, and soon enough, more kids start to drop out for the same reasons. As things escalate, Andrew decides that if his presence is going to detract from the mission of the centre - to provide care and support for kids - then he should quit. However, Dylan swoops in with one more ace up his sleeve. He talks to Patsy’s son directly, and gets him to question whether he really is uncomfortable with Andrew, or if it’s just his mother’s influence that’s making him think that way. This works, and all of the kids who had previously dropped out assure Andrew that they not only want him there, but they need him there. All in all, this is a decent storyline, but it does engage with a few tropes that rub me the wrong way. First of all, it’s never not at least a little annoying to watch straight characters sanctimoniously decide that doing their version of “the right thing” is more important than respecting the wishes of the gay characters whose safety and livelihood is what’s actually at risk, and this storyline is a pretty egregious example of that. It also follows the usual 90210 pattern of having characters just badger others relentlessly until they conveniently get their way. Granted, this case gets a bit of a pass in that regard, because the tirade that Dylan fires at Patsy is kind of satisfying, and Luke Perry is a good enough actor to make it feel properly motivated and believable. We do love an ally king.

Watch for Part 2!