#in that you instantly assume you know the full depth of everything the second you see it because you already recognize it

[hard-core-super-star]

for your love, i'll do whatever you want... [K.Bishop]

pairing: alpha!kate bishop x omega!reader

summary: omega heats are incredibly unbearable, thankfully kate knows just what to do to make you feel better.

warnings: shameless smut -> minors, you're not allowed [omegaverse au {written by someone who has very minimal understanding of the logistics and makes everything up on the spot}; omega in heat = needy alpha kate; fingering {R receiving}; so much praise; technically pet play but only if you squint {kate does call R puppy more than few times}; finger-sucking {i couldn't resist}]

wordcount: 1.9k

a/n: i have no explanation for this, i just...think she's neat. i read literally one omegaverse au fic and now i have brainrot. clearly, the only solution was to pass it on to all of you. i've never written anything like this before so uh...be warned, i guess. once again, this is about the closest i'll get to doing kinktober but this variant of kate [along with vampire!kate] might be sticking around, we'll see. also, believe it or not i did some world-building but tried not to include too much and just focused on the filth. you're welcome, i guess?

* * * * * * *

The sound of the bedroom door opening makes your tired eyes snap open. You blink the drowsiness away long enough to recognize Kate’s frame as she slips into the room. Her steps are slow, almost bordering on hesitant, but the mere sound of her boots on the floor makes your heart race.

The archer had been gone for what felt like months. In reality, she was only gone for four days. Not even a full week had passed without her and yet you’ve been desperate for her return since the moment she walked out the door. 

You assumed it was only due to the strong bond, and slight dependence, that had started to form since the brunette brought you to her apartment a few months ago. She’d rescued you from a cruel living situation and shown you kindness you never even thought was possible.

Especially from such a dominant alpha. 

But Kate’s nothing like all the alpha’s you’re used to. She’s all soft chuckles, understanding looks, and feather-light touches. The literal definition of care lies in the depths of her pale blue eyes. 

It’s truly no surprise, then, that you fell for her instantly. 

And it’s even less of a surprise that being without her triggered an avalanche of feelings that resulted in your heat. A heat you were forced to endure on your own with no gentle touches or whispered praise.

Until now.

“y/n.” She makes an effort to keep her voice quiet despite her obvious concern. “How’re you holding up?”

The answer to that is crystal clear considering you’ve made no attempt at getting up and rushing toward her like you usually do. You want nothing more than that but your entire body aches in ways you’re not used to feeling, at least not on this scale. Your skin burns with pure warmth yet your body shakes as if you’ve spent the past few hours out in the cold.

You’re barely able to lift your head, the faintest of whimpers slipping out. Your lack of a response is all she needs to approach you and the comfortable nest you’ve made in the corner of her bedroom.

Your nose picks up on her scent immediately and the lower part of your body wastes even less time in reacting. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so desperate to feel her touch on every part of your overheated skin.

“Uh oh, I know what that look means,” she jokes as she sits in front of you. 

Your grumble of discontent is wiped away the second she reaches for you. She easily picks you up, letting out a slightly playful grunt, before maneuvering you onto her lap.

“Kate,” you mumble.

“I know, sweetheart, I’m right here.” 

Her hand gently grasps the back of your head, guiding you forward until you’re able to seek refuge from the overwhelming sensations rushing through your entire being. Her scent drives your body wild but it’s also the only thing capable of calming you down so you bury your face into her neck without hesitation.

“Baby…” Her tone makes you shiver and you subconsciously shift closer to her. “I’d like to hear your voice.”

You know what her request actually is, you’ve heard it countless times since she started the hard work of putting your broken pieces back together. Your hands grasp the front of her shirt and you fidget with the fabric until you find the words you’re searching for. 

“I missed you.”

You don’t see the smile that graces her lips but you hear the slow exhale of relief she lets out. The fact that you’re speaking to her is a good sign, one that reassures her enough to finally start touching you.

“I missed you too,” she admits as her hands begin to wander. “I thought about you every day I was gone.”

She keeps one arm wrapped securely around your waist but lets her free hand caress you in all the right ways designed to soothe you while simultaneously driving you insane with need. Just because she’s the kindest alpha you’ve ever met doesn’t mean she’s not a massive tease when she wants to be.

“Katie,” you practically whine. 

Your reaction brings a chuckle out of the brunette that only serves to intensify the ache between your legs. You’re both acutely aware of the amount of slick that’s dripping down your thighs by now but while you’re on the edge of desperation, Kate’s having the time of her life. 

She always loves knowing how much you need her, how much you crave her, and today is no exception. 

“Yes, sweetheart?” The pads of her fingers ghost along your chest, barely grazing against the side of your breasts. “Do you need something, pup?”

Hearing that one word out of her lips shouldn’t be as attractive as it is. Although, that could easily be said about any and every single thing Kate does. 

All you can do for a few seconds is whimper and press yourself closer to her, your hips shifting every which way in search of some friction. Friction she easily denies by shifting her lower half away from you which means you’re forced to pull yourself together and ask for what you want.

“Mhm, need you.”

Kate rewards your obedience by finally letting her fingers play with your hardened nipples. Her touch is soft even while she tugs on them just enough to draw out another needy little sound from you. “You have no idea how adorable you sound right now. You’re just a pretty omega in need of her alpha, aren’t you, baby?”

You open your mouth to answer her but instead of words, a sharp moan leaves your lips as her mouth meets your shoulder. She trails a line of kisses along your warm skin, allowing you to bask in the comfort that underlies such an intense moment.

She’s had her fun and now her full attention goes toward making you feel better the only way she can right now.

Her hand starts its descent once she’s satisfied with the amount of skin her kisses have covered. She moves slowly despite the obvious wetness that’s started to drip onto her jeans. She’s not trying to tease you anymore, though. Her touch is reassuring, a silent promise she won’t hurt you like all the ones who came before her. 

The noise you let out once her hand cups your aching cunt borders on pathetic but there’s no time to feel embarrassed. There’s no time for anything except grinding down against her fingers while they stroke your swollen clit.

“Good girl,” she murmurs in between soft kisses. You can tell she’s barely holding back the urge to pierce your shoulder with her teeth. “Fuck, you’re so wet, baby. Is this all for me?”

Her question is meant to be rhetorical but you don’t dare risk it, already too far gone to be able to deal with more teasing. “Yes…just for you.”

Kate’s fingers stutter in their movements. She wasn’t expecting a response, much less one that makes her possessive, and borderline primal, instincts flare up. The change in her scent throws you off, especially when the words that escape her are almost as needy as your own.

“You’re so good for me…so fucking pretty like this. God, you’re driving me crazy, puppy.”  

The emphasis on the word is enough to make you cry out in pleasure but then she sinks two fingers into your tight pussy and you swear the world stops moving for a few ecstasy-filled seconds. 

Kate doesn’t mind that you stop rocking against her, she’s much too eager to show you she’s the only one capable of making you feel this heavenly while doing such sinful things to your body.  

She’s also already obsessed with the way you’re clenching around her fingers and it shows in the non-stop groans coming out of her.

Groans that push you closer to the edge.

“You’re taking my fingers so well.” She’s panting into your shoulder but you can’t blame her for it since you’re in a much more desperate state, panting and groaning against her neck. “So tight but so needy for more, isn’t that right, pup?”   

“Yes-” Kate slips another finger inside you before you can get too far. “Fuck! Please!”

You don’t know if it’s your words or the sound of the tears that are gathering in the corners of her eyes but she instantly turns back to that gentle alpha you know so well. The one who puts your needs above her own without missing a single beat.

“I know, I know. Just relax, let me take care of you.” 

Her fingers thrust inside of you at a rapid pace but she’s careful not to get too rough with you. She shifts a little, kissing her way across the top of your shoulder and to the side of your neck.

You’ve never felt closer to her than you do right now and the feeling is somehow more overwhelming than your pleasure. 

Kate’s thumb starts drawing circles on your throbbing clit and you almost fall apart instantly. She knows. Of course she knows because she’s spent hours getting to know every part of what makes you who you are. Including your painful past. 

She lets you bask in the feeling of holding back until your cries of pleasure border on discomfort. “It’s okay, puppy,” she mumbles while nuzzling your neck. “You don’t have to wait, you can cum for me. Show me you’re mine.”

There’s no way for you to last any longer once she says that. 

Your mouth drops open into a long moan as Kate coaxes your orgasm out of you. You’re sensitive and desperate and yet the thing that causes you to truly give in to your release is the care she puts into everything she’s doing. 

She’s giving you everything you want because she knows it’s the only thing that’ll make you feel better. The only thing that'll take away the discomfort of your heat and the anxiety that still thrums through your veins from being with her.

Your entire body shakes and shudders from the strength of your orgasm, Kate’s fingers slowly fucking you through it until you fully collapse against her. 

“Good girl.” She plants a kiss on your neck before pulling her fingers out of you. 

You whine the second she leaves your cunt empty but you’re too worn out by everything that’s happened to beg for another orgasm. Instead, you accept the fingers she presses against your lips, opening your mouth without a second thought and moaning at the taste of the wetness that covers the digits.

“There you go, just like that, pup.”

You’re far too exhausted to reply so you settle on sucking her fingers while she whispers soft praise into the space between you.

After days of yearning for the alpha’s touch, your body finally feels soothed. Relaxed to the point of comfortable sleepiness, not the awful stress-filled exhaustion you were forced to deal with on your own.

You’re finally safe in the arms of someone who genuinely loves you for who and what you are.

“Does my sweet omega want a nap?” 

Her soft tone makes you smile around her fingers. You let out a muffled sound of contentment and Kate merely chuckles in response at how eager your sucking is despite your obvious fatigue.

“Okay, sweetheart. Just close your eyes, I’ll be right here to take care of you when you wake up, alright?”

There’s not a single doubt in your mind that she’ll be true to her word.

So, you close your eyes and take a few deep breaths that fill your entire being with the smell of her. You belong completely to Kate and you wouldn't have it any other way.

[professorrw]

Don't Fake It

marvel masterlist

Pairing: female reader x Peter Quill

Request: peter starts getting frisky with the reader but shes tired and isn’t really in the mood. He would never pressure her or anything but she wants to make him happy and feels bad saying no, so she does it and fakes her orgasm just to get it over with. Later, he somehow finds out (or knew all along, you decide) that she faked it and of course his ego is bruised and he’s kinda annoyed, but also feels guilty she didn’t tell him how she felt. So the next night, she starts coming onto him and he makes damn sure she never fakes it again. Then after, she apologizes for faking it and it gets kinda fluffy because hes like “hey, its not good for me if you’re not having as much fun as I am. I have a right hand if i’m that desperate.”

Warnings: smut, 18+, fluff, faking an orgasm, protected sex, rough sex

A/N: Requests open, taglist open, inbox open! Please like, comment, and reblog!

Sleep was calling your name, digging its claws into you and dragging you into the dark depths of slumber. But there was something stopping it. That thing was Peter. He was wide awake and his sex drive was in full throttle. You weren’t feeling up to it though. The long day at work had taken a toll on you, and the only thing you wanted to do was go to sleep.

You loved Peter, everything about him. You didn’t want to deny him sex, especially when he was being so sweet about it. Your back was to him so he could cuddle you while you slept, but he started to kiss your shoulders and the part of your back that was exposed by your tank top.

“Mmm what is it baby?” you asked groggily.

“I want you,” he replied unashamedly. You could feel Quill shifting his weight behind you. He was peering over your shoulder, trying to look at you. He had missed you all day and you were finally home. What he didn’t know was that you were tired, and not in the mood.

“Oh really?” you mumbled.

“Mhm, I missed you today.” You couldn’t see him but by his sweet tone of voice you could tell that he was sticking his bottom lip out and giving you puppy dog eyes. You smiled and turned around, cupping his face in your hands.

"You know you're adorable right?" you teased.

He smiled, "I know, that's why you can't resist all of this." He wiggled his eyebrows, making you laugh. He was just too cute. You didn't want to tell him no.

When you stopped laughing he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. The kiss quickly elevated, his hand snaking up your tight shirt and pressing heat against your lower abdomen. While your eyes were closed, sleep called your name once more, but you ignored it.

Peter pulled back for a minute and reached over to the night stand. He grabbed a condom and pulled his boxers down and put it on, tossing the wrapper back onto the table. He switched positions and crawled on top of you. His face drew closer and he kissed you while he pulled down your sweat shorts.

He got the lube too and squirted some on his covered dick and rubbed the leftovers around near your entrance. With dick in hand he guided his length into you, easing it in as to not hurt you. He let out a long sigh when he got to moving. At least he was feeling good, you thought. Peter was making you feel good too, but you were so tired that if it weren't for the movement you would have fallen asleep.

The pleasure wasn't building like it usually did. You wanted to cum, you wanted to show Peter that he was doing a good job. But you weren't feeling it, and you knew you weren't going to cum. You didn't want to hurt Peter's feelings so as he reached his peak speed and his head lolled back you moaned extra loud, "I'm gonna cum!"

"Me too," he groaned back. His hips pounded into you and his balls slapped against you as he came in his condom. You kept on moaning a little, acting like you had actually cum too.

Peter slowed then pulled out. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and went to the bathroom to clean up. He went to take his condom off and realized there was no cum on the outside of it. You said you had cum, but there wasn't anything other than lube on there. Quill didn't want to assume you had faked it, but he didn't want to ask right away either.

He threw the condom away and went back to your bedroom. You were already out cold, and when Peter saw he sighed and crawled into bed, completely dejected. He was embarrassed that he couldn’t make you cum, and a little annoyed that you wouldn’t just tell him. But he let those thoughts drift away so he could fall asleep.

The next morning you woke up early for work again. Peter was still asleep so you didn’t wake him and instead went about your morning routine. Three minutes before you needed to leave you wrote a little note on the refrigerator for him, “I hope you slept well hunny, I’ve already left for work by the time you wake up but I just wanted to say I love you and I’ll see you later <3”

About an hour later Quill rolled out of bed and dragged himself into the kitchen. He wasn’t a morning person by any means. The coffee machine beeped and he pushed himself off of the counter to pour himself a cup. He set his mug down on the counter and went to the refrigerator to get milk and creamer. Your note, which he noticed just then, made him stop mid pull. He shut the refrigerator and took the note off so he could get a better look at it. A tired smile spread on his face.

Then he remembered last night. It was odd that there wasn’t anything on his condom, and you didn’t get up to clean yourself off right after he did. Now that he thought about it, you went straight to sleep. How unusual. He pushed the thought aside and decided he would bring it up later. It wasn’t making him mad, but he was a little wounded that you had faked it, or if you even did fake it.

Lucky for you, work was slow and you got off early. On the way home you picked up lunch for you and Peter. It was in a way an apology for your tiredness last night and faking your orgasm, whether he knew about it or not.

Keys jingling together you unlock the door and step in with takeout in hand. “Quill I’m home!” you shout.

He power walks out of the bedroom and just about tackles you into a bear hug. You giggle and kiss his stubbled cheek. “I missed you,” you say into his ear.

“I missed you moooore,” he replies. “How was work?”

“Better than yesterday, I’ll tell you that. Plus I got off early, so that’s even better. I get to spend more time with you.” You kiss his cheek again and he smiles before setting you back down. The food gets set on the kitchen counter and you pull out the chinese you got. You hand Peter his usual order and take out your own.

There’s only the quiet sound of eating for a few minutes before Peter says something. “Y/N I need to ask you something.”

You look over at him. He rarely calls you by your first name. That means he’s being serious. “What is it?”

He wants to ask about your orgasm but you’re right in the middle of eating and he doesn’t want to interrupt you. He can just ask later, he thinks to himself. He thinks of something else to ask and quickly thinks of, “Can you pass me some soy sauce?”

You quirk an eyebrow at him but hand him a few packs and go back to eating.

Later that night, a few hours later, you were laying in bed doing nothing in particular. Thoughts of last night were filling both your heads. Peter was set on trying to ask you about it, and you were set on trying to make up for it.

The both of you were sitting up in bed and you set your phone down on your bedside table and leaned over. You set a hand on Peter’s bare chest and he instantly stopped what he was doing. His eyes shot to yours, a sly smile on your face. He could tell exactly what it was you wanted.

“Peter,” you whispered against his lips. Your mouth was an inch away from his and your eyes were drifting between his and his lips. He parted his mouth and leaned forward, capturing you before you could make a move. You were trying to take the lead, but he wasn’t letting you.

He overpowered you, flipping you around and putting you on your knees. His bulge was against your ass and he was rubbing circles against it. The intensity he was showing was like nothing before. Whatever it was that was riling him up you needed to find out. It would have to wait until later though, because your panties being dragged down your thighs was the only thing you could think of.

A condom and lube had already been taken out of the drawer, and Peter was putting them on. The room was silent other than the rustling of sheets and your heart hammering in your chest. Then there was the squirting of the lube and you knew it was about to come. The cold goo was smeared on your folds and slightly inside of them by Quill’s rough fingers.

His tip, covered by a condom, was right at your entrance in a second, and in just one more, it was inside you. Your whole body was pushed forward with the force that Peter was thrusting. You were moaning and panting, and he was smiling between his own groans. His goal was to make sure you never had to fake an orgasm again. And with the way things were going you wouldn’t need to.

“Oh- Oh my god!” The way he was slamming into you was so quick and hard the pressure inside of you was building like a balloon being blown up.

His hands were holding you and keeping you from falling over. If they weren’t you would have smacked into the headboard. You couldn’t stay on your hands any longer, you dropped to your elbows, back making a beautiful arch for Quill.

The unbearable speed was tiring Quill out, but it was also making his orgasm come even quicker. He grabbed your shoulders, giving himself even more leverage to thrust with.

Your knees were trembling, jelly below you. But you wouldn’t have to hold that position for much longer. That balloon inside you popped like too much air had been blown into it. Your walls clenched around Peter’s cock, and the cum he was searching for yesterday covered his condom. He kept his pace, legs killing him and pelvis hitting your ass.

He let out a loud groan, and cum leaked and squirted from his tip. He let go of your shoulders, seeing a red handprint there. He pulled out of you, your cum dribbling out when he did. He smiled, satisfied that he had done what he set out to do.

Your lower half ached and you all but collapsed onto your pillows. You flipped over and saw Peter above you, buttcheeks against the heels of his feet and catching his breath. You laughed just a little and he opened his eyes.

“What?” he asked.

“That was something else,” you admitted with a smile.

“Good.” He crawled onto his stomach and laid next to you with his head on his arms. You scooted over closer to him, laying on your back with your hands set on your stomach.

“Y/N,” he sat up, “last night,” he started.

“I already know what you’re going to say. I’m sorry. I should have told you. I was just super tired last night and I didn’t want to deny you.” You looked down at your stomach but Peter turned your face back to his with his thumb.

“It’s okay, really. I’m sorry I didn’t catch that you weren’t in the mood. If you ever don’t want to do stuff just tell me okay? I won’t be upset. Besides, it’s not good for me if you aren’t having as much fun as I am. I have a right hand if I get that desperate.” He waved his right hand and grinned.

You giggled, “I promise I won’t do it again.”

[nothoughtsonlynat]

Resurrect Me (N.R.)

Warnings: swearing; death; Hell/the Underworld; cliff jumping lol

Word Count≈ 3.1k (yikes lol my bad)

Hecate一 the goddess of magic, witchcraft, the night, the moon, ghosts, and necromancy. Known to be an intricate mosaic of good and evil, destruction and beauty. Capable of granting wishes, summoning the dead, resurrections, teleportation, warping realities on unfathomable scales, mind control, energy manipulation, and any sorcery or magic known to the Gods. Second only to Zeus himself.

I am the human embodiment of Hecate. I am not Hecate; she merely resides in the depths of my soul and provides me guidance. We do not communicate through words; she speaks through dreams and gut feelings, and sometimes even through signs in the outside world. I have not mastered the powers she’s granted me, nor have I reached my full potential. In addition to the Goddess’ powers, I hold the basic Olympian powers, such as superhuman speed and stamina. I have no recollection of how I merged with Hecate or the life I lived before this point, and she has provided me with no answers, but I do not question her motives. 

Agent Phil Coulson came across me in my temple in Turkey. Apparently, he had discovered strange energy readings coming from the temple. When he arrived, I used the power of energy manipulation to blow the concrete off of me, and that is the first thing I remember一 emerging from underneath Hecate’s temple.

I joined the Avengers during the Battle of New York. Agent Coulson had recommended me to Fury when he was piecing together the Avengers Initiative. In the three years between my awakening and the invasion, I practiced my sorcery mercilessly and studied Hecate deep in the Greek countryside. I’ve stuck with the Avengers throughout the years, fighting every battle alongside them. Through the ups and downs, I’ve fallen head over heels for Natasha Romanoff. One would assume that with so much power, I’d be confident and have any mortal begging at my feet. That couldn’t be any more inaccurate, however. As I’ve said, I am not Hecate; I am simply the human embodiment of the goddess. And as a human, I turn into a blushing, stuttering mess whenever the levelheaded assassin is near. Consequently, there have been many years of pining, but I’ve yet to muster up the courage to ask the woman on a date.

In our most recent war, we’ve gone up against a mad titan一 Thanos. We lost terribly. Half of all living things inhabiting the universe were snapped away. I can’t help but ponder whether things would’ve gone differently if I had better mastered my powers. I potentially hold all the capabilities of the goddess of magic; aside from Zeus, I hold more power than any being to ever exist. I’ve practiced my sorcery every day for the past five years on the off chance that we ever get a rematch一 a chance to bring everyone back. I’ve improved significantly, but Hecate has been oddly quiet for the past few years. It’s driving me crazy. I know she’s still there, but she hardly provides an ounce of guidance.

And so, that is where I find myself now一 practicing sorcery in the room specifically designed to isolate me when I use dark magic. Everyone who has access to the training section of the compound knows that they should never enter this room. It is far too dangerous for regular mortals. As I warp the room’s reality, a dark mist envelops me. When it clears, the room has changed into a 50s ballroom. I look down to see an elegant maroon ball gown covering my body, and I scan the empty area. I hear a pair of heels clicking toward me, and I spin around, already panicking. In order for someone to be here with me, they would have to be an inhabitant of the location’s true reality. My eyes land upon the woman I’ve grown to love, dressed up for the event. She is wearing an extravagant light blue ball gown, and her hair is carefully done up. 

“Natasha? What are you doing here?”

“Why I came to dance with you, of course.” She steps closer and drapes her arms around my neck, swaying to the nonexistent music. Stay calm. Don’t panic. There’s no way I’m making her do this. I’m not even doing anything! Of course I’m the one making her do this, who else would it be?! Breathe in. Breathe out. My powers don’t control me. I control them. Just breathe. I can do this. I know how to do this.

As I focus on the magic coursing through my veins, a black mist envelops us, and the room returns to its original form一 a basic training room with black padded walls. I immediately take a large step back from Natasha.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Natasha?! You know you can’t come in here! I could’ve seriously hurt you!”

“I...I’m sorry. I thought you’d just be moving shit with your mind. I didn’t realize you could do...that, whatever that was.”

“That was reality manipulation. I didn’t know you were here and I don’t have full control of it, so you got caught up in it. Are you okay? Do you remember it?”

“Yeah, I remember it clear as day. I was still me and I was still in control, it was just...different, I guess.”

“Well, I literally warped your reality, so even if you felt in control, you might not have been.”

“You stopped it, though. I remember when that seemed impossible. You’re getting better.”

“Thanks, I guess.” I awkwardly scratch the back of my neck. “What did you come in here for in the first place?”

“This is gonna sound crazy, but Scott Lang is here. We might have a way to bring everybody back.”

“Wait, what? Holy shit. It’s happening. Okay, come on then!” I eagerly walk past her, grabbing her hand as I pass her, and we leave my training room. I realize that I’m still holding her hand as we make it to the meeting room, and I immediately drop it, clearing my throat. If I wasn’t so familiar with the sensation, then I would swear that my ears and cheeks are on fire.

<//>

We all step onto the platform in matching white and red time-travel suits. “We’re really doing this?”

“Hell yeah, we’re doing this,” Clint answers.

“Alright, then. We bring everybody back,” I say with determination. “Whatever it takes,” Steve adds.

“See you in a minute,” Natasha adds with a smirk. Before I can appreciate how beautiful she looks with the glimmer of hope in her eyes, we’re flying through a flurry of colors. Nebula, Natasha, Rhodey, Clint, and I land on Morag. We all say our respective goodbyes before Nat, Clint, and I get on a jet to head to Vormir.

<//>

“A soul for a soul.”

“What? That’s insane. Look, no offense, Mr. Bloody Tampon, but why should we just trust what you’re saying? Because you know their fathers’ names?”

“I didn’t.” I looked into Natasha’s eyes as she spoke and I instantly wish that I could replace the dull sadness with the bright hope that had filled them before.

“He doesn’t know my father’s name. If he’s some mystical being, then why can’t he tell me that?” I turned to face him as I asked the question.

“I’m afraid you are a mystery. I am meant to know everything about any being who seeks the stone, but I know nothing of your identity.”

“Hm. Seems like a load of bullshit to me,” I deadpanned.

“We need to do this. We need to bring everyone back. I’ve spent the past five years trying to reverse the snap, and now I finally know how to fix it. Let me do it.” As Natasha spoke, she grabbed both of my hands in hers.

“And I’ve spent every day for the past five years training to do this. I wasn’t just practicing sorcery and talking to dead people for fun, Nat. All I wanted was to do better一 to fix this. If anyone is jumping off that cliff, it’s gonna be me.”

“No. Absolutely not. Neither of you is dying for that stone. I’ve done horrible things these past few years. I’ve killed...so many people. It should be me,” Clint says, and Natasha and I turn to face him, but one of her hands remains in mine.

“No way in hell, Clint. And not you either, Nat. Both of you guys have families. You’re not sacrificing yourselves. I won’t let you. And you can’t stop me even if you try.” Nat gives me a questioning look as I mention her family and I speak in her head ‘I know about them, Nat. And they need you. She needs her big sister.’

“What are you saying?” I can hear the anxiety lacing Nat’s words, and it causes a pit to form in my stomach.

“I think you know what I’m saying, Natty.” 

“Then you don’t leave me much of a choice.” She shoots a Widow’s Bite toward me, but I stop it using energy manipulation without even having to lift a finger.

“You can’t beat me, Nat. Please, don’t fight me on this.”

“I call bullshit.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Clint running toward the edge while we’re distracted, and I teleport in front of him, throwing him backward. I use mind control to force him to stay down. I sense Natasha running toward the edge behind me, and I teleport in front of her. I use energy manipulation to keep her in place, and I grab onto her biceps.

“I’m really sorry, Nat. I hate that I’m doing this to you, but I can’t let you throw yourself off a cliff for some stupid stone. Your life is worth so much more than that. You’re an amazing person, and your ledger was cleared of its red so long ago. Don’t let anyone tell you any different.”

“This is sounding an awful lot like a goodbye.”

“You can be sarcastic all you want, but I’m not walking out of this one, Natty.”

“Don’t do this. The team needs you.”

“No, they don’t, Nat, and we both know it. They need you.”

“And what if I need you?!”

“Well if that’s the case, you’ll figure it out, just like you always do. Don’t let something like this hold you back. Goodbye, Natasha Romanoff.” I kiss her cheek before turning around. I start walking towards the edge, but it quickly turns into a sprinting pace as I hear Nat screaming for me to stop. Just before I reach the edge, I lift the mind control from Clint and I release Nat, just in case it doesn’t automatically lift when I die. I push myself off the cliff, turning mid-jump so I’m not facing the ground. As I’m falling through the air, I see Clint holding Nat in his arms as her screams fill my ears. I hit the ground and everything goes black.

<//>

“Hello, y/n. It’s good to see you again.” I sat up and一 what the hell is that smell? “Ah, yes. That would be burning flesh. Welcome to Hell, darling.”

“Uh...what? Who are you?”

“Yes, I suppose I should explain, hm? I am Hecate, Goddess of一”

“Yeah, I know what you’re the goddess of. How did I get here?”

“I thought you were smarter than this. You died, obviously.”

“And went to Hell? Damn.”

“Oh, relax. Hell isn’t what the mortals think it is. This is the Underworld. All of the dead reside here. The bad people get punished, the good people don’t. Simple as that. We don’t have a lot of time, so I need to explain. I am cursed; I cannot leave the Underworld. However, my human embodiment can, and that is where you come into play. You hold all my power, and I can see you’ve been practicing, but you’ve never lived up to your full potential.”

“Hey! Rude!”

“Don’t interrupt. I didn’t allow you to live up to your full potential, not until we met, anyway.”

“And I had to die in order for that to happen?”

“Yes. I’m giving you all of my power, but I can still stop you if I ever need to. I know you don’t want to risk hurting the people you love, especially the redhead, but you need to trust yourself. Trust your powers. Have a little faith. You are a goddess, remember. Don’t let people forget it. That purple thumb is nothing compared to you, even with his colorful rocks. Your family needs you now. You must help them.”

“That’s it? Why do they need help? How will I know what to do?”

“I will always be there to help you, Y/N. You can handle this. This is nothing. You are part of me, just as I am part of you. You are my daughter, after all. I should know your capabilities better than anyone.”

“Wait, daughter?!”

“Oh, did I forget to mention that part? Oh well, it doesn’t matter right now, anyway. You need to go.”

“Go where?”

“Home, darling.” 

The earth above us cracks open and I can hear faint sounds of fighting on the surface. I look at Hecate as she nods. Before I even realize I’m doing it, black mist surrounds my body and lifts me through the crack. I step out of the mist onto the ground and a staff appears in my right hand. I tap it once on the ground and my white suit is replaced by an all-black leather outfit that’s definitely made for a goddess. I smirk and make eye contact with the titan across the battlefield. His sickly creatures race toward me as they notice the new threat on the field. I summon an army of ghouls from the cracks in the earth. As the aliens and the undead clash, I teleport in front of Thanos.

“And who might you be, dear?” He acts confident, but I can sense his fear.

“I am Y/N, daughter of Hecate.” He tilts his head in a questioning manner. “Oh, did someone not study mythology? Hm, then let’s be blunt, shall we? I’m a goddess, ass-chin.” I throw my staff at his throat, but he catches it. He moves to swing his large sword at me, but I capture his arm in black mist. When he tries to move the other arm, I restrain that one, as well. “Well, that surely can’t be all you’ve got, hm? Pity, I thought it’d be more exciting than that.” If I were to look in a mirror at that moment, I would’ve noticed my ghostly pale skin, black eyes, and the raw power spreading through my veins like a black road-map.

“It’s not over yet, my dear child.” Before I can question the meaning of his words, an alien tosses him the gauntlet. It slides on his exposed hand, but I hold it open with dark magic. I look around and notice that the army of the undead is nowhere to be seen. My teammates are pinned down, even with the help of those who were snapped. There is a feeling in my gut and a voice in my head that tells me what I must do. I pull the gauntlet off his hand with black mist and slide my hand inside. I feel the power surging into my body. “What are you doing? That power will kill you!” Thanos sounds truly desperate.

“That’s cute. Truly, it is, but you can’t kill someone who’s already dead.” I close my hand and snap my fingers. His army fades to dust and he slumps to the ground before floating away with them. I drop the gauntlet to the ground and look around. Natasha runs toward me and throws her arms around my neck in a firm hug.

“Wha一what happened to you? How are you here? I thought you died!”

I wrap my arms around her waist and rest my chin on her shoulder before saying, “I did die. I am dead.”

She pulls away and looks at me from head to toe. “Well that explains why you’re so damn pale, but now I have so many more questions.”

“I am Hecate’s daughter, so I am technically a goddess, like her. I’m not sure if I was technically resurrected or not, but I can probably一”

She cut me off with a gentle yet passionate kiss. She pulls away and searches my eyes. “I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time,” she admits.

“Me too,” I breathe out.

“Yeah, I picked up on that. You’re not very discrete.” I laughed and a smirk spread across her face. “As sexy as this whole ‘powerful goddess’ thing is, am I going to get the old you back? You know, the one who blushes whenever I look at her? The one who’s, like, alive?”

I smile at her and glance down at her lips as a thick black mist appears behind me. I step backward into it as her face morphs into a look of confusion. She disappears from sight as a wall of black fills my vision, and a surge of power spreads throughout my body. I fall to my knees and the black cloud disappears. Natasha rushes over and kneels in front of me. “Are you okay? What the hell was that?”

“I’m not entirely sure, but I think I’m alive again.” I lift my head and meet her eyes.

“Your skin isn’t crazy pale anymore, and your eyes are their normal color again.”

“Sweet.”

“Cool.”

We both crack up and I lean my forehead against hers as our laughter fades.

Tony interrupts our moment of peace. “This is all good and dandy, but does someone wanna explain what the hell just happened?”

I raise my head and look at my teammates一 my family. “I kicked the purple thumb’s ass. That’s what happened.” I can feel a warm presence in my heart, and I know that my mother is with me.

“Yes, yes, I noticed. I also noticed a bunch of demons. Care to explain that one?”

“They weren’t demons...they were just...the souls...of dead people. I can summon the dead. You knew that.”

“Uh, I definitely didn’t know that.” I laugh and shake my head at the eccentric man. 

I stand up, pulling Natasha with me, and bring her into another embrace. “I’m really glad you’re okay, Natty,” I whisper in her ear before pressing a delicate kiss to her temple.

A/N: I literally had this completely finished and edited over a month ago and I hadn’t posted it yet soooooo... idk here it is

[earnestly-endlessly]

hey!! Your fic recommendations are always elite–I was wondering if you had any kid fics, thank you <3

Hi anon. I have plenty of kid fics for you. Since you didn't quite specify what kind of kid fic you wanted I decided to divide it into fics where Charles and Erik are kids or get deaged and fics that involve kids. This is kind of a long list so I hope that there are plenty of new fics for you to read.

Cherik Kid Fic

--They are kids or get deaged--

Conspiracy of Kisses - Alaceron

Summary: Seven-year-old Erik needs to keep his telepathic best friend Charles from finding out that he wants to kiss him. But that's okay, because he has a plan - he'll put on a tinfoil hat.

Chasing After You - Alaceron

Summary: Charles isn't very good at tag. Erik helps

We’ll be the sum - afrocurl, ninemoons42

Summary: In between bouts of blanket burrito-ing and vegging out on movies, Charles and Erik figure out how they currently feel about each other.

Of course, they're schoolboys and they're on a sleepover and also Edie dotes on them both excessively, so things work out just fine.

Growing pains - ikeracity

Summary: Twelve-year-old Erik Lehnsherr is an angry, closed-off foster kid with trust issues and a bad temper. Ten-year-old Charles Xavier is a lonely kid in boarding school who just wants a friend.

Logan pretends he doesn't think they're both fucking adorable.

Valentine’s day – ikeracity

Summary: Kid fic! Erik waits impatiently all day at school to give Charles a card for Valentine's Day. Maybe Charles has something for him too...?

Now You Know You Know it Now – luninosity

Summary: Erik’s not sure why he keeps glancing at the other boy. Not as if Erik likes other kids, or other people in general, for that matter. But still—he finds himself looking. Again.

This Family Comes with Batteries - Fishwrites, lynneh

Summary: An orphaned Charles Xavier goes to live with his Godfather: Tony Stark. This story is a tale of what would have happened to the events of MCU, if Tony was raising a six year old telepath in Stark Tower. There is also the matter of Charles' robot AI manny/bodyguard/tutor/only-friend, David.

You’re Not Doing This Alone – flightinflame, Lynds

Summary: What's meant to be a simple recruitment mission leads to both Erik and Charles being de-aged back to thirteen years old. Terrified and out of their depth, the boys try to hide their situation and help each other until they can work out what is going on.

Charles Xavier, A Retelling – Extra_fried_noodles

Summary: An attempt to reverse his paralysis goes wrong, and Charles is de-aged into a 2 year old toddler. While Hank scrambles to fix the situation, the whole gang is here to help. Through a mix of selective memory, they watch Charles relive his childhood, revealing some deeply hidden and painful truths.

Protective Instinct – Groovyhornbill

Summary: Charles and Erik were testing Cerebro’s new prototype when things went very wrong.

Divergence – Lynds

Summary: Universes and timelines collide, dropping two younger versions of Charles Xavier into the midst of the hunt for Sebastian Shaw. Now the newly formed X-men have to deal with a strangely quiet and self-reliant six year old, and a sixteen year old covered in bruises.

Erik, in particular, has to accept that the man he loves hasn't had the kind, happy upbringing he wished for him. But these children are here now, and Erik's not going to let anyone hurt them this time.

--Where they have kids--

Sink or Swim – endingthemes

Summary: Erik is a struggling single dad of three kids with a burning hatred for Sebastian Shaw, the man who wronged him years ago. He’s tried to move on with his life, but a run-in with Shaw’s rude, spoiled omega, Charles, drags up old anger. When Charles ends up in the hospital after an accident, Erik goes to confront him only to find that Charles has amnesia. In the confusion, Charles mistakenly assumes that Erik is his mate.

Erik knows he should clear up the misunderstanding, but how can he pass up this perfect chance for a little revenge?

(An Overboard AU)

Rumor Has It - blueink3

Summary: "Did I hear the doorbell earlier?"

"Yeah, but I'd steer clear if I were you. It seemed a little tense. I don't know what's going on, but there's a kid out there who looks freakily like the prof."

Nearly six months after Cuba, Charles' life is turned upside down for the second time. Though he's slowly learning to adapt to the first, he's not sure he can handle the second. Luckily for him, there are a few people out there more than willing to help.

Words and Pictures – pocky_slash

Summary: When Lorna's powers manifest early, Charles Xavier's mutant picture books are the perfect teaching tool. Erik just hadn't expected the author to be so young. Or attractive. Or available.

Write this number down (you can call it anytime) – pocky_slash

Summary: When Erik upsets his children, they have a habit of running away from home--and straight to Charles' school for cookies and consolation. Charles doesn't mind the visitors, but as they appear more and more frequently, he realizes that sooner or later, he and Erik are going to have to talk about what happened on the beach and what it means for their future and the future of Erik's children.

Dress Your Family in Plaid and Skinny Jeans – cygnaut

Summary: Erik and Charles meet at the mutant playgroup/parenting support circle and they instantly hit it off. And so do their kids, Lorna and David.

Not What I was Expecting (So Much Better) – lazulisong

Summary: Erik, the single father, hires Charles, the grad student with the slightly shady past, to be his manny.

Heli Cases – Black_Betty

Summary: "Heli Cases" is a program on PBS whose aim is to educate on the rapidly increasing occurrence of genetic mutation in the general populous by breaking the complex science down into palatable, easy to digest pieces.

It is also the only thing that helps Erik get his fussy daughter to fall asleep.

(Featuring Dadneto, baby Lorna and the struggles of single fatherhood, and Charles as the host of a late night show about genetics.)

Doing Something for Yourself – Pookaseraph

Summary: Erik is a hard working engineer and single dad, Charles runs a local Community Center where Wanda and Pietro spend their time after school. Erik accidentally makes Charles' acquaintance one Wednesday evening when he's running late from work. Erik has no idea if he stands a chance with his new acquaintance, but that isn't going to keep him from falling for the guy.

A Good Dad – listerinezero

Summary: Ten years later, Magneto has left the Brotherhood and Raven asks Charles to help her find him. Charles discovers that Erik is the single father of five year old twins Wanda and Pietro, and he is doing everything he can to keep them safe from his former enemies.

Take a Chance (On Me) – Ook

Summary: In which Charles, terrorised by his abusive ex, takes his young son to a small town in America, where they both settle down and make friends with their neighbours. Particularly the town mechanic, Erik, and his foster son, Alex. Requester stated they wanted to "drown in H/C. "

Can’t Buy Me Love – niniblack

Summary: Erik's a single dad struggling to make it work and nab the promotion he's been waiting for. The last thing he needs is to get involved with politician and notorious playboy Charles Xavier.

(The Maid in Manhattan pastiche that no one asked for.)

Ohana – royal_chandler

Summary: Erik's children are absolute hellions. If by hellions, one means children who are incredibly protective of their new family unit and won't let a few household mishaps get in the way of keeping it together.

One Second and a Million Miles – magneto

Summary: Between being a parent to the best baby in the history of man-kind and co-running a Mutant Center in Hell's Kitchen, Erik Lehnsherr has his hands pretty full. Too full, certainly for romance; something that has never really been on his radar to begin with.

All that changes, however, when he meets Dr. Charles Xavier. Handsome, intelligent, capable, kind, an Omega level telepath, and one of the best pediatricians in the state, he's everything Erik didn't know he was looking for. But he's also Lorna's pediatrician which means, of course, he's off-limits. Except how is Erik supposed to try and forget his crush when he and Charles keep running into each other as if fate is trying to tell them something? When, as Charles says, they seem to want the same thing?

Her Only Mutations Were Her Blue Eyes and Her Auburn Hair – Pookaseraph

Summary: While sneaking back out of Russia, Erik and Charles stumble across Anya, Erik's presumed dead daughter, and it changes quite a few little things along the way. Fluffy, self-indulgent, fix-it.

Despicably Yours – Cesare, veryorangecat

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr, AKA Magneto, is a supervillain without equal... except maybe one: Charles Xavier, AKA Professor X, AKA Erik's next door neighbor. When their competition heats up, Erik decides the only way to get ahead is to adopt four mutant orphans to infiltrate Charles's mansion.

Things don't go as planned.

The Wrong Impression – Rosawyn

Summary: Charles is trying to balance the responsibilities of his career with his responsibilities as a single father to a tiny baby. It's not something he ever thought he'd have to do, and it's not as easy as those women on the internet make it look! He does't have much of a social life (unless talking to his sister on the phone and attending a parents' class where he's the only guy count), and he doesn't even have time to think of dating. He's just trying to keep his job - and keep his son fed and healthy.

Marrying a Mob – Ook

Summary: Charles is a teacher at a very exclusive school. When armed men burst in on the trail of two children, of course he stands up to them and gets hurt. The children are Erik Lehnsherr's children (of course); a "prominent businessman" or, less politely, "mobster".

Erik is grateful to Charles for saving his children's lives at the cost of his kneecap. So very grateful.

Naturally he tries to reward Charles for his actions. Equally naturally, Charles will be having none of that.

Azazel finds the whole thing unspeakably hilarious. Naturally.

[nejibaby]

Daylight

Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x Y/N

Summary: You’ve been keeping things from Ace, but it takes a reoccurring nightmare to finally make you tell him.

Word Count: 3.6k

Daylight - Part 1 | Afterglow - Part 2

Loosely based on: Taylor Swift’s Lover album (but mostly about the song Daylight)

A/N: First of all, I just want to say there’s going to be a part 2 😌 Secondly, I’m sorry if this is angsty again 😫 Lastly, I wanted to give the reader some depth so there’s a backstory, I’m sorry if it doesn’t feel like a reader-insert. I tried my best... Please let me know your thoughts~

You wake up with a jolt, sweat forming on your forehead, heart beating significantly faster than usual, and tears threatening to fall from your eyes. The scenes from your nightmare are replaying in your mind.

The thing is you know it would be easier to tell yourself it was just a simple nightmare if your mind came up with those scenarios, however, that isn’t the case. The nightmares you get are often about the experiences you had to live through in the past. While you try to keep them buried, it resurfaces at the most unexpected days.

You take a few shaky breaths to calm yourself down, but that doesn’t really work out for you. Your room that was once a safe haven for you now feels like a suffocating cage. So you decide to get up and leave your room rather hastily.

You find yourself on the deck of Moby Dick, leaning on the railings and taking in the sight of the sun slowly ascending the sky. Only then are you able to breathe normally. However, it only takes ten minutes of silence alone before a sleepy figure breaks it.

“Y/N?” Ace yawns. “Baby, what are you doing here? Come back to bed with me,” he says as he rubs his eye.

You remain silent as you continue to look at the horizon. Ace frowns at your lack of response. He situates himself beside you, mimicking your stance. When he looks over at you, he instantly notices your red, teary eyes. “Did you… did you have a nightmare again?” He asks softly.

You’ve had a lot of nights that have been interrupted by your nightmares since you’ve been welcomed in this ship. He’s actually the first person to know about your nightmares, because his room used to be right beside yours and he’s heard your whimpers and wails. He doesn’t exactly know what your nightmares are, just that you have them. Nonetheless, he’s the first one to offer comfort to you, which must’ve been the reason you fell in love with him in the first place. But ever since you started sharing the same bed with him, the nightmares stopped coming altogether, except for today.

The genuine concern in his voice instantly makes you feel warm. You let yourself look at the rising sun a few more seconds before you direct your gaze to Ace, knowing full well that you won’t want to look at anything else once you settle your eyes on him. More precisely, you couldn’t actually look away from him.

The sun hits him in a certain way that makes him look amazing. Your breath almost hitched at the sight of him, but the worried look he gives you reminds you of your troubles.

“Ace…” your voice unexpectedly cracks. “I…”

His eyes widen in alertness, “Are you okay? No, don’t answer that, that’s a dumb question.” He cups your cheeks and kisses your forehead before asking, “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong if you don’t want to, but if you do, I’ll listen—”

You cut him off by saying, “I want to… I have to tell you this… But it’s… I just...” you release a shaky breath, “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you.”

His breath hitches. A thousand questions fill his mind in an instant. Did you do something wrong? Did you finally realize he wasn’t worthy of your attention? Did you cheat on him? Why did you look so guilty?

You can see the panic on his face and you immediately decide it wasn’t something that you want Ace to feel, especially if it was because of you.

You close your eyes and try to even out your breathing. “Ace… I… I felt like I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night.” It unintentionally comes out as a whimper.

The panic on his face is replaced by surprise. You never really talked about your problems to him before and he never really prodded. The strain in your voice causes him to feel an ache in his chest. “Baby, I’m telling you you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to or if you aren’t ready—”

“...but now I see daylight.” You look at him straight in his eyes as you finish your sentence after he interrupted you. “I only see daylight.”

Ace takes a few seconds to process your words and then he releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. A smile makes its way into his face. “That’s good.”

You remain silent for a while, thinking of how to say what you want to say. You’ve kept your past far too long from Ace and he deserves to know you in your entirety, even if it could possibly end your relationship. But your thoughts were so messy so you say the first thing that popped into your mind, “You know… when you found me in the shipwreck, I was ready to die then and there.”

He shakes his head. “I’m glad I found you on time. Marco told me if I’ve been a few hours late, you would’ve died.”

“The crew…” your voice cracks again.

“It must’ve been hard on you. You don’t have to tell me. I don’t want to open your past wounds,” Ace interjects as he rubs your arms in a comforting manner.

“I was the one who killed them,” you say, tears forming in your eyes again.

Ace halts his movements at your declaration.

When he got to you, all your crew members were dead and you were heavily injured as well, so he assumed it was because some other pirates attacked your ship. He didn’t know that it was you who caused that destruction.

You finally let your tears fall as guilt creeps inside you like a long lost friend. “They were evil. I know they sheltered me, fed me, and I should be grateful, but they were evil. They killed and murdered for fun. They stole even from the poor. They terrorized villages.” You cry, “I can’t… I couldn’t… I couldn’t bear with—”

“Ssshhh. It’s over now…” Ace hugs you tightly.

You immediately melt into his embrace. He stays silent after that and you do too.

This wasn’t the only thing you are keeping from Ace though. You have yet to drop the biggest news about yourself.

Was Ace going to stay with you if you told him your identity? The question echoes in your mind.

Maybe you’re foolish to think that this could work out.

You start to feel queasy. This feeling brought you back memories of your most important conversation with Pops.

It was the day that he asked you to join the crew, or as he worded it, “family”, after you had healed from your injuries. You remember telling him he shouldn’t openly welcome someone like you.

You weren’t even sure if he had heard about you and your deeds, but knowing how fast news of that spectrum could spread and his status as a Yonko, you assumed he did but if he did, you wondered why he still insisted you join them.

And then he claimed that you’re too young to be left alone. When he said that matter-of-factly without a trace of malice, you almost gave in and joined on the spot, but you stopped yourself. You didn’t want to burden them with the dangers that come with you, especially because they took care of you until you fully healed. So instead, you just said you were going to think about his offer.

A week later, you found yourself knocking on Whitebeard’s door with the intent of talking to him. Then the next thing you knew, you were confiding in him. You told him who you are, what you’ve done, and why you’ve done them. It was the first time you’ve ever bared yourself to someone.

You expected him to give you a look of disgust or of anger, but he didn’t. Sure, it took a few minutes for him to process everything you’ve said but in the end, he looked like he was unfazed by your revelation. It was then that you asked him if he would still have you knowing who you were. He didn’t even think twice as he said, “You’re part of the family ever since my son brought you here.”

You remember feeling like a weight has been lifted off your shoulder because of Pops. He and the rest of the crew treated you as if you were their own blood, but also so much better than that, considering you had an awful relationship with your biological parents.

You start to wonder if Ace would react the same way. So far, he’s being gentle with you like he usually is. But what you’ve told him was only a portion of your story. It wasn’t the cause of your nightmares, although it might be an effect of it.

There’s a possibility that he wouldn’t accept you for who you truly are and it scares you. This fear gnaws at you. The fear of being left almost overpowers your desire to tell Ace everything, but you fight it with all your might. He deserves to know you, wholly. And if he doesn’t want to be with you after this, it was understandable. You wouldn’t hold this against him.

You gather the last bits of courage you have left and pull away from him. You wipe the tears from your eyes.

Ace reads your face. It’s easy to tell that you wanted to say more. He can see the determination in your eyes. So he waits patiently for you to talk.

“Do you know why my bounty is so high?” You ask.

“I think I heard Marco and Thatch talk about something… Hm…” he scratches his chin as he thinks. “Ah! I heard them say that they read in the newspaper that you killed a Celestial Dragon.”

You purse your lips. So he does know…

“Is that what bothers you?” He asks but you remain silent so he continues, “I’m sure you had your reasons. You aren’t the type to do anything just because. Hell, you don’t even follow my orders as your Commander when you think it’s unreasonable.” He chuckles. “They’re scums anyway, especially those Celestial Dragons.”

He’s waiting for you to crack a smile or verbally respond but it takes a minute and then two, you still haven’t said a word. You’re looking at him but your eyes are unfocused and glazed. He starts to worry about you. There must be something deeper behind the death of that Celestial Dragon.

Sometimes it’s hard for Ace to find the right words to say, just like this time. He’s aware you’re bothered or anxious about something, but he doesn’t know what it is about. You aren’t exactly confirming or denying his assumptions, and he doesn’t want to pressure you into talking about it. But… how is he supposed to say the right thing to comfort you when he doesn’t know what it is that bothers you?

However, there’s one thing he’s sure about, and that is his desire to protect you, to shield you from the cruel world.

He wants to erase the sadness that is overwhelming you. He simply can’t stand seeing you in pain.

For now, words fail him so he resorts to actions. He takes you in his arms once again. He tucks your head into his chest and rubs soothing circles on your back. He kisses the crown of your head and lets you know he’s there.

It doesn’t take long for you to break free from his grasps. You take a step back. But you think it wasn’t enough so you take two steps more. This confuses Ace, but you know it’s better this way. “I… killed two Celestial Dragons,” you correct him.

Ace nods his head.

“They are…” you shake your head, “They were… my parents.”

He tenses from your declaration.

“I am— I was a Celestial Dragon.” You mumble. Before you lose your courage entirely, you quickly tell him about everything.

You tell him about how as a child, you didn’t think much of your status and your actions. You acted accordingly as a Celestial Dragon, that was how you were raised after all; as a person who didn’t pay any thought to another person besides yourself.

That was, until you became friends with one of your slaves who was around your age. “She was really nice to me. She was one of the few people brave enough to talk to me. But we only talked when we were inside the comfort of my room without my parents watching, knowing they disliked it when slaves talked. Because of her, I realized how lonely I actually was. The only people I got to interact with during those days were my parents, their Celestial Dragon friends who visited once in a while, and the slaves  because I wasn’t allowed to go out of our home until I was nine years old. So she was a really good company for me. She talked about the life in the villages she went to and all types of people she met. It’s funny because she even taught me manners,” you smile at the memory of her, albeit momentarily. “Every story she told was so interesting and every day I found myself wanting to visit the places she described, and to experience what she did before she became a slave.

“But one day, my parents found us talking and playing together… And they deemed it horrific for a slave to act that way with me.” You clench your fists as the memories come crashing down on you. “So they killed her… in front of me. And I couldn’t do anything to save my only friend.”

It’s their fault for thinking they could act like that towards you. We’re gods, they’re merely humans. You could almost hear the words your father spouted that day.

Ace is listening closely to you, but he has that faraway look on his face. You aren’t sure if he’s picturing the scenarios you told him about or if he’s remembering an awful memory of his own involving Celestial Dragons. Either way, you can tell from his face his distaste.

There is so much more to say though, so you continue, “That kinda put things into perspective for me. It made me resent my parents, their way of living, and the way they raised me. It opened my eyes to how cruel and horrible every Celestial Dragons were. It made me wonder how many lines have I crossed unforgiven… And I just drifted apart from them.

“I was upset and angry about everything but I didn’t know what to do about it so I kept myself locked up in my room. My shitty parents thought getting a new slave my age would make me feel better so they did just that, but that didn’t change the way I saw my parents.

“Be that as it may, I started getting out of my room again, afraid of what they would do if they thought the new slave wouldn’t be of any benefit. In the end, I befriended her, although she was way more timid than my first friend and she was always scared to drop her guard. This time though, I was more careful when interacting with her. But she was the only one I could protect from the ton of slaves my parents had and it just… It left a bitter taste in my mouth.

“For years I couldn’t do anything more. And the longer I stayed under their roof and the more I saw of them treating humans as awful creatures, the angrier I got until I just snapped. And I...” your voice cracks once again.

“You killed them.” Ace finishes the sentence for you.

You nod your head meekly. “The way out of Mary Geoise was tricky because I wanted to bring as many slaves as I could so they could be freed. Somehow I managed to do just that. I parted with them at Sabaody, but... I heard some of them got recaptured,” you weep. It broke your heart; you tried your best to give them back their freedom but it was short-lived for some. You hate the fact that you gave them a small flicker of light— of hope— only to have it extinguished within moments.

You fall silent as you remember how there was nothing you could do back then because you had to run away too. You were aware that it was only a matter of days before the Nobles would learn of your crime and have someone from Cipher Pol or maybe an Admiral come after you.

“Maybe… Maybe I should have ended the bloodline then and there…” you mumble. “I remember thinking, no, hoping, that it would be Aokiji-san who would be sent after me. At least then, if I was to be executed, it would be in the hands of someone who was at least nice to me. But that was selfish, and for all the sins my family and my descendants committed, I cannot afford to be selfish.

“But then again, wanting to live is also selfish,” you chuckle humorlessly. “I tried to reason to myself that I should live just to make sure no one suffers the same fate as the slaves, but I haven’t been doing a particularly great job at that, considering I wounded the good and trusted the wicked when I got mixed up with Morganeer pirates.” You look away from Ace momentarily as you let your tears fall once again.

The tears have fogged your mind and you find yourself not wanting to say anything more. You take a quick peek at the man in front of you. He looks tense, rigid. He doesn’t speak nor look back at you. His face is void of any emotion. Somehow he doesn’t look like himself; he doesn’t look like the goofy, sweet Ace who fell in love with you. And perhaps it’s all your fault.

Observing the man who holds your heart, you realize that he too doesn’t have anything to say. Maybe you should tell him that you’re going to give him time to process things alone, but words died on your throat the minute you started crying again. So instead of bidding him a goodbye or even a “See you later” or waiting for him to tell you to leave, you run.

Maybe that’s the only thing you’re really, truly good at.

For the rest of the day, you stay in your room. Once in a while someone would knock to ask if you’re alright, but it’s never Ace, so you lie and say you’re fine. No one seems to question you after you say that but you can tell from their faces they don’t believe you.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner comes and goes but you still haven’t left your room, let alone your bed. You haven’t touched the food that Thatch left you too, and it makes you feel bad but you have no appetite at all and you’re feeling quite nauseous.

You wait until the ship grows silent as the crew starts to get ready for bed. When you’re sure that most of them have been lulled to sleep by the calm sea, you get out of your room and head to Pops. You haven’t even knocked on his door yet but he already tells you to come in.

As soon as you close the door, he asks why you haven’t gone out of your room the whole day. You inform him, and he nods in understanding. “Do you want me to talk to him or beat him up or something?” He asks.

You shake your head, “Can I… Can I depart tonight?”

“Where to?”

“I haven’t figured that out yet…” you tell him earnestly.

He gives you a look, as if saying, “Do you really think I’d allow you if you aren’t sure what you’re going to do?”

“It’s just that… Its anniversary is coming up and I don’t want a repeat of what happened last time.”

He laughs, “You aren’t going to be able to bring my children down.”

“I know,” you smile briefly. “But... I don’t want to cause anyone any trouble in case something happens…”

He sighs, “Okay, but bring—”

“No, I want to be alone.”

For the first time in a while, you see Pops frowning. It’s evident that he didn’t want you to be alone, it’s far too dangerous for you.

You understand where he’s coming from but you need time for yourself, and Ace needs time without you too. So to convince him, you hand him your vivre card and a Den Den Mushi. You didn’t have to tell him anything more, the pieces of items speak for themselves. It’s for him to know that you’re safe and you’ll be safe.

He looks at you solemnly, but nods anyway. It comes to a surprise to you when he pulls you into his embrace. He whispers, “Be safe, my child, and come back home soon to us.”

You nod with tears in your eyes. Pops has always been nice to you, even when you know you don’t deserve it, so leaving is hard for you. Although you’re both hoping you’d come back, you both know it’s not going to be easy. The seas aren’t as forgiving as humans, after all.

“Thank you, Pops,” you tell him as you break free from his embrace.

When you’ve boarded your boat, you take one last look at Moby Dick and think, “It was nice finally seeing the daylight because of Ace, but perhaps it was time to go back to sleep and face the nightmares instead of running from them.”

[lord-of-christmas-lights]

I could post regular Narnia headcanons...

Or I could post the continuation of this post and go into depth about how Eustace and Caspian are affected by deity Narnia. Welcome back to Inhuman Narnia 101 and it turned out just as long as the first one so buckle up.

Check out this post by @dorianviolet for another awesome version of Inhuman AU Caspian

Warnings for slight body horror mentions including blood magic stuff, slight religious themes and theological discussion towards the end.

Before anything: This AU directly contradicts canon a lot. I don't care, that's why it's called an AU. Some of it is deliberate, some of it is accidental. I haven't read the books in a number of years, so this is all based on the movies and general information I've picked up from fanfic and tumblr. Discussion on this post is welcomed, criticism and arguments are not. Thank you.

First off, here is the link to an exploration of Dragoning, the Eustace-centric fic I wrote about this. I refer to it repeatedly in this post so if you want the full thing, there it is.

Second, let's get into this. So in my last post, I talked a lot about Narnia, her general existence in this AU, and her motivations as a character. She wants the people in her world to be a part of her, and no one else. Some of this is a conscious choice, and some of it isn't. Eustace's changes throughout his time in VOTDT are definitely not purposeful. It was his greed that drove him to the treasure, it was his own "curse" in becoming a dragon. That was not Narnia reaching out to him and purposefully trying to mold him to her world. As such, he takes on more of an observing role.

Eustace doesn't ever actually directly address his cousins on the subject of their inhumanity, in this fic or in any other I write. He simply sees it, notes it happening, and moves on. Even in the sections in my fics where the subject of inhumanity in general is brought up between Eustace and one of his cousins, it's always about Caspian, the greater Narnian world, or himself.

"Eustace asks why, and Lucy answers. Narnia changes people, she says. It happens to everyone, but the closer you are to her Heart, the greater it is. I don't know where Dragons are. Perhaps closer than we realized. It's exhilarating, isn't it? Aslan will return us to normal though, at the end of our journey." - AEOD

I don't know why, but I don't like the idea of Eustace trying to directly address the Pevensie brand of inhumanity. That line above takes place after his UnDragoning, after the way he sees things has changed, and I see it as him asking what exactly has changed, you know, why are Dragons different than boys?

That brings me to how Eustace himself changes. Now, if he hadn't gone and turned into a Dragon, I imagine Narnia wouldn't have taken much note of him. He's a random human, stuck-up, not at all in line for ruling her lands, and just kind of exists without much else going on. She still would have affected him a little, as she does to all humans in her world but it would have been almost entirely spiritual with no physical changes. And then we got the greatest fuck around and find out scene ever. He becomes a Dragon.

I love dragons, always have, I have a very deep spiritual connection to these creatures, and as such, I have gone all out on worldbuilding for Narnian Dragons. Again, the quote from AEOD, "...the closer you are to her Heart, the greater it is. I don't know where Dragons are. Perhaps closer than we realized." In the Inhuman AU, Dragons were the first creatures Narnia (the deity) and Aslan made when they created Narnia (the world). They just really liked the dragon shape from other worlds and thought, "Hey wouldn't it be cool if our world was populated by these big fire-breathing lizards?" Now I don't actually remember how often Dragons are mentioned and/or featured in the books so I'm going with my idea that Dragons are a somewhat rare but not extinct species. They have to be created through magical means, often through physical transformation of people or objects, though there are a few known cases of natural-born Narnian Dragons. Eustace's creation was the curse on the treasure, though I don't see his Dragoning as a curse itself. As in, the curse isn't in the being a Dragon, it's in how the Dragon was created. So, Eustace experiences this accidental change into a creature that's closer to Narnia's Heart than pretty much any other being in Narnia. They were her first creations, forged from the fire in the Stars, and they are the closest to her magic. And that gets her attention.

Now, if you went and read AEOD, you'll have noticed that one of Eustace's biggest changes (aside from the obvious physical ones) is his vision. This is just a natural thing for Dragons, they are far more in tune with magic and the earth and everything than everyone else, but Narnia's special interest in him definitely amplifies the hell out of his magic sense.

"The people here say dragons see the oddest of things, and he has to assume it's a hallucination....He refuses to give into its whims, reminds himself it's just his imagination. Until Reepicheep comments on it." - AEOD. Following this quote, Reepicheep mentions to Lucy that her inhumanity is returning faster than Edmund's and Eustace has a total panic attack at the idea that what he's seeing is real. He sees what everyone else does, Lucy's stained fingers and Edmund's ability to manipulate words, but he also notices stuff no one else does like the stars in Edmund's throat and the echoes that follow Lucy's words. This is further cemented after his UnDragoning, where the extra stuff he perceived has vanished. Now the general idea in this AU is that the closer to Narnia's Heart you are, the more you know and perceive. Everyone can see some of the more obvious inhuman aspects of the Pevensies, but there are things that only Dragons, druids, Stars, and some other magic folk really close to Narnia's Heart see. I'm not going to get into an exact chart of what certain characters can and cannot see because that can change over time and such and I'd rather leave it mostly up to personal interpretation on what other characters do and do not perceive about the Pevensies and other such inhuman characters.

(Side note—I had to pause in the writing of this post here to go to my second meeting for an autism assessment and I think if I just showed the doctor my notes app and the inhuman/dark fantasy narnia tag on my blog, I'd get the diagnosis instantly lol) So anyways, Narnia senses Eustace becoming a Dragon and is like "Ooohoo what's this?" and starts sort of digging into him in the same way she does to her Kings and Queens. This triggers his already enhanced perception of Narnia (the world) to get even stronger, and this is when he starts seeing stuff like people's souls, Caspian's second heart (more on that soon), and looking at Lucy/Edmund/Lilliandil becomes almost painful because Narnia's magic is so bright in them. Aslan then UnDragons him, which Narnia really doesn't like btw, and Eustace is back to being a fairly average human.

This is where stuff established in AEOD ends.

Now I have so many ideas and half finished fanfics written out in my notes app about Eustace, UnDragoning, and inhumanity and it would be impossible to cover them all here, so I'm just going to go with the highlights. One of my favorite ones is the idea that after Eustace's UnDragoning, he still feels very connected to being a dragon. He's had this taste of pure inhumanity, and something like that doesn't just leave a person. There's a fic I read once long before I was fully invested in this fandom about Eustace and draconity that I will never stop thinking about and was actually the reason I started considering Eustace and Narnian Dragons in this AU. One of the really important things to note is that once a Dragon is created, they can never be uncreated. They can be UnDragoned, where their physical form is returned to whatever it was before their Dragoning (a rock, a talisman, a faun, etc) but their soul has changed on a fundamental level to that of a Dragon. Now for Eustace in my Inhuman AU, this manifests spiritually as a deep longing to return to being a Dragon. Physically, he experiences fun side effects like increased heat tolerance, nails that grow faster than normal, and because Narnia likes to meddle, a single ridge of scales along his spine. In some versions of my drafts, he stays at the end of VOTDT and experiences a slow Dragoning because Narnia's influence on him is that strong, other versions he stays but never quite returns to the Dragon he was before, and in yet other versions, he returns to England and loses that connection enough that physically, he will never be a Dragon again. As I said, Narnia is fascinated by him, she's never really had a human Dragon before, but he is still just a random guy who happens to be related to the Pevensies and as such, she doesn't invest as much time or magic into his inhumanity.

So that's Eustace. This is already such a long post but I promised to talk about both him and Caspian so here we go.

Now, in my last post I talked a bit about how Narnia (the deity) affects the other humans in Narnia (the world) to an extent, but it's nowhere near the amount she does to her Kings and Queens, and also this diminishes more and more the farther you get from Narnia (the country). Telmar is fairly close to Narnia (the country) but as we see in PC, a lot of Narnia's magic and spirit has been diminished by the time Caspian is born. Up until the awakening of the land during the battle, Caspian is essentially 100% human. However, this changes very quickly.

It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment Caspian becomes a King of Narnia. Is it when he refuses to kill Miraz? Is it when Aslan tells him he's one? Is it during his actual coronation? Yes, yes, and yes. I try not to pin it down to an exact moment. By the end of PC though, he's definitely noticing some changes in himself. I have an unpublished part 2 to an exploration of Inhumanity (my only other actually posted fic on this stuff) that I swear I will clean up and get posted soon that goes into further detail on the changes he's noticing at the end of AEOI. Some of the big ones include a second golden heart, seeing some of the life magic in the world around him, and a golden glow on his palms. He also slowly develops the ability to heal, though it's not always consistent. Magic takes practice, lots and lots of practice. In pt 2, the glow on his palms has gotten so bright and also spread around his head like a halo, and Lucy shows him how to conceal it so he's not impossible to look at, but because of Magic™ there's still a dusting of golden powdery stuff across his skin. His blood turns golden because Ben Barnes + golden blood is such pretty imagery, and like the others, it gets sucked down and absorbed into Narnia's Heart when he bleeds in battle. Also when I say he's got a second heart I mean he's got a second fucking heart. Ribcage shift and all. (His appearance doesn't actually change, it's more like a pocket dimension thing going on inside him, but he sure as hell can feel it happening). Having Narnia as a patron goddess just means you have to put up with a second puberty sometimes lol.

Anyways, there's a line in AEOI that I feel explains this stuff really well. "He cannot truly protect the land without becoming a part of it himself." Narnia changes her Kings and Queens because she wants them to be a part of her. Aslan doesn't really see these changes as necessary (in canon, a world without deity Narnia, they don't happen), and if the storyline we pick is the one that's the constant cycle of humanity and inhumanity, it's sort of a push and pull between them. Aslan wants the Pevensies, and by proxy anyone else who rules Narnia or experiences these changes, to keep their humanity, to stay as they were Created by him. Narnia, however, wants them to be as much a part of her as she is of them. It's very clear in both the books and the movies that Narnia (the world) is where these characters belong. In the end, they all come home to her (yes, Susan too because fuck Mr. Clive Staples Lewis). Caspian being anything less than fully inhuman is something she cannot handle. She is constantly having to recreate the Pevensies, reestablish her hold on them, only to have them return to England and become mostly human again. Caspian cannot be taken away from her, he is in this world by birth and she is going to do everything she can to shape him into the ruler he needs to be.

Once again, I would like to state that Aslan and Narnia are not opposing sides of good and evil. Gods cannot be defined by human standards, and to think either Narnia or Aslan completely in the right or wrong in this AU would be, well, an interesting standpoint, but really not the one I'm going for here. I'm not going to say it's a misinterpretation, I am very open to hearing people's thoughts on this AU, and everyone's going to see things differently. Just, please reread what I've written about them before you start making that argument.

Anyways, that wraps this post up because I have spent the better part of the past 6 hours writing this. I spent way more time on Eustace than I intended but it's just so fascinating to think about inhumanity from his perspective considering he's the only one in canon that actually was (briefly) inhuman. Again, if you got this far, congratulations! If you use any of my ideas mentioned here, please tag me, I am so starved for inhuman Narnia content lol.

[chaseatinydream]

pirate king (67) || atz

Your walk back to the pier your ship is at is completely silent.

The fortune teller hadn’t awoken for a while, but from the way she was still breathing you assumed that she was still alive, merely exhausted from her fortune telling, so you had left your shawl draped around her shoulders, tucking her into it before you had exited the shack and made your way back.

You stop for a while to stand at the end of the docks, overlooking the ocean as the waves lap against the stone. Looking into the watery depths, you frown, the water shifts and roils beneath you, and for a second you see someone staring back at you as the surface of the black water ripples, hair made of sea foam, eyes dark like the bottomless depths of the ocean where no light ever reaches. You blink in confusion, lean further to look more closely, but before you can catch a clearer glimpse the water swirls and another wave crests; and the image is gone.

“Looking for one of the souls of the dead, dearie?”

You turn around to see an old woman standing there, a kind smile on her face that make her wrinkles crease. She has a basket of sweet, vibrantly colored fruits tucked under one arm and you frown, shake your head slowly. “No... I was just looking. What do you mean, souls of the dead?”

“Well, what you’re standing next to right now is a shrine set up in the sea goddess’ name.” You glance over to your side and sure enough, there’s a small structure set up there. Squatting down to look at the interior more clearly, there are knotted ropes hanging from the sides of the shrine, and you run your finger along the rough material thoughtfully. “What are these?”

“Knots from a ship’s rigging, to pray for a smooth journey and godspeed.” The elderly woman answers you, shuffling next to you. She holds out the basket and drops one fruit at a time silently into the dark water, each one making a soft splash and you tilt your head, watching the waves carry the fruits away from the harbor. “What are you doing?”

“This is where land meets the sea.” The elderly woman says quietly as the last fruit, a bright yellow mango, falls from her hands and into the water with a splash. “Where people used to light lanterns and push them into the sea, to guide the spirits of the dead home, until a ship caught aflame when the waves pushed one too close to it. Now people just light candles.” You look down to see burnt out stubs of wax at your feet, each for a person lost to the waves. “Where people make offerings to the sea goddess, for whatever reason they might have.”

The fortune teller’s words come back to you. “As if human offerings such as fruit or even gold would be of anything of worth to a god. They have no need for it.” You find yourself repeating under your breath, but the old woman appears to hear it and shakes her head.

“Offerings have never about giving the gods something they need.” She says quietly, looking out over the sea, eyes following yours, to the line where the black sea swallows the night - or is it the other way around? “The essence of it has always been giving up,” your eyes flicker to her, “laying down something precious to you in hopes of being able to reach something dearer to your heart. It is proof of your devotion, an offering of your longing, a manifestation of the true desires of your human heart.”

You stay silent for a moment, listening to the sounds of the waves crash against the stone wharf. “A manifestation,” you repeat slowly after her, “of the true desires of the human heart.”

The old woman nods, eyes fixed on the gloom before you. “The only things that I believe can move the hands of gods,” she says, so soft that the swirl of water beneath you almost drown her words out, “is the human heart, because that is the one thing they neither have nor understand. Look at the forces of nature,” she gestures at the sea churning beneath you with a hand, “the sea does not discriminate against who sails its waters. Whether young or old, good or bad, rich or poor, the seas drag them all beneath their waves regardless.”

That’s morbid, you think to yourself.

“But us humans, we pray and hope and desire so badly, and sometimes, once in a blue moon, a miracle happens.” She adds on, with a longing smile. “Inexplicable things that are impossible to explain. What other way but the gods?”

You nod slowly in understanding, glancing back down the way you had come, remembering the fortune teller’s eyes full of hatred and spite when she had been speaking about the gods. Who truly understands the gods, who really knows their true nature? Who knows them for who they are, and not just what they are?

They don’t have names, nor do they have eternal souls… no one calls upon them for who they are, only what they are.

For some reason, you think you understand now.

“And you?” You ask softly, letting your gaze drop back to the candles at your feet, wondering just how many the seas have taken. “What is it that you desire from the sea?”

Something stirs in you, probing, and you look at the old woman curiously. She laughs, tucking her basket back under her arm. “Just my young grandson who sailed on his first voyage a year back. There was a storm, and he hasn’t come back.” She smiles, exhales a little shakily. “My son told me to give up hope, that he’s gone, lost to sea... but I can’t. I won’t give up till the seas return my boy, dead or alive.”

A tiny smile tugs at the corner of your lips.

“You’re not losing hope.” You whisper, gazing out at the sea once more. “And your desire to see him again is strong.”

She makes a noise, waving you off. “He’s my only grandson.” She smiles warmly at you. “He is my family after all.”

You turn away from her, looking down the pier to look at the where the Treasure sits on the waves, back to where your family is. “He’ll come back soon.” You tell her quietly. “I can’t promise anything but... he will.”

The old woman gasps a little, then beams at you, small tears budding up in the corners of her eyes. “Thank you, dear.”

“No, thank you for talking to me tonight.” You reply, bowing to her. “I’ll be going now.”

She waves as you begin to walk away, back to the dock the Treasure waits. “Remember the essence of an offering,” she calls after you, and you hear her last words to you drifting over on the sea breeze.

“It is sacrifice.”

>>>

You run into someone the second you step back aboard the Treasure.

“Chin Hae!” You startle a little, turn to see your master marching furiously over to you across the deck. His face is twisted with worry and anger, and he stops just in front of you, practically in your face. “Where have you been?” He’s just shy of shouting now, and for a second you think how lucky you are that no one is out on the deck to hear him. You look at him, eyes red with lack of sleep, face drawn tight with exhaustion and weariness and your heart throbs painfully in your chest.

“- why did you sneak off the ship in the middle of the night, without anyone to accompany you, no less?” His voice starts to pitch higher and higher with barely restrained emotion, cracking a little on the end. “What if something happened to you? I went out of my mind with worry when I looked all over the ship for you and you weren’t there, why, I was about to wake captain to sound the alarm, and you just stroll back onto the ship all fine and dandy, and-”

You wrap your arms around his waist and pull him close, resting your cheek on his shoulder gently, closing your eyes as you breathe in deep. The floral and herbal fragrance of him fills your lungs, and you smile quietly. Everything is just still... just quiet.

“I’m dying.” You say out loud for the first time. The words feel strange on your tongue, but right, as if you already know this is a fact. “I’m... really about to die.”

The only future is death. It comes as the storm approaches… on the horizon of the sea.

“What do you mean?” Your master asks, suddenly confused as his hands come up to grip your shoulders tight, urgency and desperation in his voice. “Chin Hae, where did you go?”

“The fortune teller from last time.” You tell him softly, pressing your face into his shoulder as if that can hide you from all the troubles brewing on your horizon. “She said I’m going to die, Master. That all the paths set before me only lead to death. That there’s no other way.”

“That’s bullshit.” San retorts instantly through gritted teeth. “What does a voodoo fortune teller know? No one knows the future-”

“Master.” You cut him off quietly, pulling away from him just a little so that you can look into his eyes, his hands still trembling at your shoulders. “It’s the truth, I can feel it. She’s telling the truth, and the prophecy she gave me... it’s going to come to pass soon. I know it.”

“How?” He asks, voice breaking. “How do you know? You can’t just give up hope like this, Chin Hae. I can’t, I won’t. I can’t just sit around, doing nothing and twiddling my thumbs while I just watch you die, can I? Even if it’s hopeless, even if everything says no, I can’t.” A single tear of anguish spills over, rolls down his cheek. “You’re one of the crew, my apprentice, our family.”

You think of the old woman standing at the pier, basket of fruits in hand as she stares out to sea, waiting for her grandson to come home. The oceans are bigger than the mind can fathom, more treacherous than a den of lions, and yet she still waits, because what else can she do? Her heart refuses to settle, and now, you understand your master’s pain.

“I know. And I’m sorry for all the things that I’ve said.” You bump his hand lightly with your wooden one, and he looks down at it with wet eyes, chewing at his bottom lip. “I won’t ask you to stop, but I don’t want you to feel like it’s your fault when the inevitable happens.”

“We should tell captain.” San reiterates, more insistently this time. Your eyes flick up to him urgently, mouth already opening to disagree but your master shakes your shoulders lightly. “Captain deserves to know, at least. You’re his crew mate, and though it’s difficult for him to show it, he cares for you and you’re precious to him.”

“That is exactly,” You reply quietly, “why I can’t tell him. There was once he thought he was going to lose me and...” you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to shake away the painful images in your mind of your captain’s tears, the desperation in his sobs, and force yourself to continue. “I can’t do that to him, Master.”

“And you dying on him all of a sudden is supposed to make things better?” He asks incredulously, and you flinch. “Chin Hae, you can’t make me believe that keeping this secret is the best thing to do. What about Wooyoung? He loves you!”

You suck in a breath, sighing. “I told him I didn’t love him back.” You answer, staring over your master’s shoulder, quite unable to meet his eye. “His feelings will die with time, and he’ll find someone else-”

“But do you?” San cuts you off sharply, and you tug at your bottom lip with your teeth, hesitant. His laugh rings in your ears, hand warm in yours and the sturdiness of his shoulder as you rest your head there. “Do I...” You whisper quietly into the air between the two of you, before you shake your head. “Does it matter? In the end, nothing will come out of it.”

“Wooyoung’s feelings might die over time.” San affirms, and your eyes widen slightly with surprise; you’d expected him to say the contrary. “But I can promise you, it won’t be in this lifetime. Give him a hundred, no, maybe a thousand years.” Your heart cracks. “And then those feelings will die long after he’s dead. I know my best friend.” He says with so much conviction that you feel tears pricking at your eyes. “He loves you specially, differently, too deeply, I’m afraid. While that might not be a wholly good thing, I can tell you this,” his eyes burn into yours, “you are the first woman he’s loved is his entire life, and will probably be the only woman he loves in his entire life.”

“San, stop, please.” You beg, holding up a hand. Your master falls silent abruptly at the sound of his name, but he doesn’t look like he regrets anything he said one bit. “So what if he loves me? Nothing is going to come of it. I’m going to die, Master.”

“And I don’t want you to live like you’re already dead.” He insists, and you frown, looking up at him. “I don’t want you to give up hope that you might live. Too many people, myself included,” he bops you on the nose gently, even though his eyes are luminous with tears, “love you too much. If you’ve given up on yourself, at least don’t give up for us. I’m not giving up until you’re dead, Chin Hae.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, fighting back tears. “Okay.” His arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you close until you’re cradled against him, head resting against his shoulder. “I promise.”

You’ve made another promise a long time ago to your captain, one that you don’t think you can keep. Promises are broken all the time, sailors leaving for the sea and promising to come home, a promise to a husband or wife to love the other forever, but this promise, you think, you can keep.

San pulls away, wipes the tears from your eyes and sniffles down at you. “So what about captain?” He asks, and you sigh, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“I’ll... I’ll tell him.” You say, gripping the fabric of your shirt tight. “Not now, though. It’s right after Yunho’s near death experience and captain is still shaken. He hates feeling helpless, and if I told him now...” Your voice trails off.

San sighs.

“I feel like there will never be a ‘right’ time for something like this.” He brushes the dirt from your shoulders, before one of his hands drop down to hold yours tight. “And I hate to say that I agree, but you’re right. Please just... make sure he knows.”

“I will.” You say, before you drop his hand and turn back towards the sick bay. “Come on, let’s get to bed. I’m tired from my little late night escapades and I’m sure you are too from looking for me.”

You hear San’s laugh for the first time in a long while. “That’s because you’re such a hassle to look after.” He pinches your cheek as he falls into step beside you. “And I want to keep looking after you forever, so you can’t give up, alright?”

You nod, trying to ignore the tears pooling at the corner of your eyes. “I’m going to annoy you as long as I can.”

Later, when the two of you are in the darkness of the sick bay and you’re fumbling about for your pillow, you hear a soft ‘scoot over’ and you do. A few seconds later, San slides into the sheets next to you and pokes you on the nose.

“Stuffed animals make people feel better.” He whispers to you, even though the room is empty save for the sound of the waves lapping against the hull of the ship. “I’m going to be yours tonight, so just hug me all you want.”

You look at him for a second, a dark shape outlined against the faint light coming from the potholes, and trace his face with your eyes, committing every feature to memory. Then you smile, open your arms wide and wrap them around him. “You’re just doing this for free hugs, aren’t you?”

“I’ve been discovered.” San gasps in mock horror, before one of his hands come up to card gently through your hair. “Go to sleep. We’ll face tomorrow when it comes together.”

“Okay.” You say softly, eyelids already heavy as you snuggle against his warmth. “Together.”

“Together.” He repeats after you, and the two of you drift into sleep as the rocking of the ship lulls the two of you into dreamland.

>>>

You’re woken the next morning by a commotion outside the ship.

“What’s going on?” You ask blearily, sitting up in your bed. The noise is raucous, awfully loud. Your master’s face is pressed to a pothole, hair still mussed from sleep - he must have awoken not long before you - but when he turns back to you, he’s wearing a wide, happy grin.

“I don’t really know, but apparently a ship that’s been missing for a while has come back to town.” He says and something in you skips a beat. Stumbling out of bed and over to the window, you squeeze there next to your master and look out.

Another vessel, not nearly as big as the Treasure, limps into the docks next to you. It looks worse for wear, shoddy patching done on the hull and you can see that it’s entire main mast has had to be replaced, but it’s still here.

The gangplank lowers, and the one man fights his way off the ship, dashing down before the wood is fully set in place. He stumbles once, picks himself up, and dashes down the gangplank so fast his legs are a blur. You follow him with your eyes, heart warming, until you see who he’s headed towards.

You gasp.

The old woman from yesterday is standing there with a basket of fruits in hand, frozen in shock as the young man barrels his way towards her. Just shy of crashing into her he stops, panting, before gently, with shaking hands, he wraps his arms around her, sobbing into her shoulder. The old woman bursts into tears, clinging onto him tightly as well, crying for all she’s worth.

“I knew you were coming back, I just knew it...” You hear faintly over the wind as her grandson chides her for still waiting at the harbor, running gentle fingers over her wrinkles and asking if she’s been sleeping well, if she’s been eating well, if her back still hurts.

For the first time in a long while, you smile.

[courtlyharlequin]

May I request headcannons for Kalim, Jamil, Leona, Vil, and Ruggie with a s/o whose blind or mute? Thank you! You may ignore this if you’d like. Have a good day!

When Words Fail

Warning(s): minor spoilers, trauma mention (though it’s not in depth but just in case)

A/N: I choose a mute reader! Please note that I mean to don’t offend anyone who is mute and/or knows someone mute. 

Kalim Al-Asim:

He thinks being mute is an adorable trait that drew him to you in the first place. You were so mysterious!

But... Kalim doesn't quite understand.. which might make things more hurtful if you’re mute due to a traumatic experience.

Sunshine boy assumes you’re just shy as in you can speak but you don’t want to because of some type of anxiety.

Kalim desperately tries to get you to talk. It feels like he’s having a conversation with himself and that’s not really fun. 

Don’t get him wrong, he’s in love with you for sure, but he’s just not sure right now. Communicating with you is harder now since you’re in a romantic relationship. You used to communicate through notes, as he doesn’t know sign language, but that proves to be a hassle. 

How Kalim goes about things are just so sporadic and spontaneous that you can’t keep up with him sometimes. He sometimes speaks too fast for you to jot down your response. By the time you finish, he would be already talking about something else. 

It takes some interference from external forces e.g. Jamil for Kalim to understand that that’s just how you are.

Of course, he apologizes to you if he ever made you insecure about your voice or for pushing you out of your comfort zone. He’ll get super sappy and reassures you that you’re not a hinderance to him.

He makes an effort to try to learn sign language for your sake. He fails miserably, but he eventually is able to sign basic words like “hello” or “I’m sorry”.

Kalim really surprised you one day when he signed: “I love you.”

Students often whisper about your odd dynamics as a coups as you’re the quiet one and he’s the social butterfly. He doesn’t mind and neither do you. 

Jamil Viper:

He’s always attentive especially when it comes to you. 

Jamil makes sure that he doesn’t talk too much and gives you time to convey your own thoughts.Then, again he is not a man of many words himself. 

Scarabia’s vice prefect doesn’t treat you differently. You’re just another person to him albeit his significant other. 

He’ll talk on your behalf and make an effort to be at least conversational at sign language.

Jamil might also pass notes to you too so you don’t feel like anxious or embarrassed for being the only person doing this. 

It’s not out of pity, it’s out of a sense to make you feel like you’re not alone– that he’s with you on this.

Everything Jamil does for you is because he genuinely cares for you.

He’s very patient. This is probably from his experience with biting his tongue and serving Kalim and pretending to be someone he’s not. 

But for you, he’s not biting his tongue at all! Jamil admires your earnest efforts of living life without a voice. He can’t imagine if he lost his.

He thinks you’re strong for dealing with dozens of overblots without a voice. You’re a hard worker.

Honestly, he prefers the quiet even if it wasn’t intentional on your part. Again, probably too much time around Kalim. 

Cooking with you is his self care. It’s just you two working together in a serene silence. Not awkward at all. 

Of course, he would give anything to hear your voice as he’s curious, but he won’t push you especially if you became mute through trauma or you were born like this. 

All in all, he’s extremely respectful towards you. 

Leona Kingscholar:

Oh boy...

He’s going to be impatient with you. He’s going to be harsh on you. Even if you’re a girl and especially if you’re a guy. 

Like Kalim, Leona doesn’t understand at first and he’ll need a long time to understand you.

Now if you become mute while you’re in a relationship with him already, then he’ll be more reluctant to stay with you. However, you are mute prior to courting him, the task might be more challenging than expected.

It’s a lot of work to be looking out for you, to actually give you his attention. He actually has to open his eyes to see you sign or read your little notes. This is not exactly good for napping.

Leona can be a jerk. He is a jerk.

The catch is worth the chase though. If you manage to win him over, he’ll acknowledge your tough skin. Will he read every single note? No, but yo know he’s there for you when you need him most. 

He’ll care for you in the most discreet ways like speaking on your behalf even though you haven’t told him what you wanted him to say yet. 

Leona is more perceptive and observant than he lets on. He’s also smarter than he looks.

This lion managed to pick up sign language just by watching you sign to others. Now, he’s not fluent, but he’s conversational. 

He’ll rarely sign with you, but Leona can understand you. You figured that out when you two were arguing and, since you figured he couldn’t understand sign language, you signed a rather colorful insult at him only to be exposed. 

After that event, your communication as a couple became more fluid. you’ll sign something and he’ll just reply back to you. 

Remember, Leona conversational at sing language so some phrases might need some more processing or he’ll straight up asking you to write down what you just signed because this lion doesn’t know what it means. 

Vil Schoenheit:

Being a public figure on social media, Vil is familiar with all sorts of people. 

But did he expect to end up with a significant other that is mute? Not quite. Does he mind? Not at all. 

He’s surprisingly considerate and patient with you. One would think he’d be strict just like with any other person.

Let’s be real here– Vil adores you.  

You put so much effort in making the most of your situation that he can’t help but admire you. 

Hard working is a trait that instantly turns Pomefiore’s dorm leader on.   How can he turn away from someone so diligent, so alluring? You caught his eye the moment you stood your ground against an impediment that required your voice and prevailed. 

He’s terribly infatuated with you– from your looks to your personality. 

This beauty king relies on social media for tips with a partner with  disability. 

He takes it upon himself to learn sign language in order to meet you half way since he doesn’t think it’s fair for you to just keep passing him notes. It’s a waste of paper and you’ll end up forming callouses on your fingers if your keep holding your pen like that. Stop!

Even if Vil goes out of his way to educate himself about people who are mute and sign language, he never makes you feel anyone less of a person.

If anything, he makes you feel more confident about yourself.

He doesn’t even wish to hear your voice since it doesn't follow the ten second rule.

Note: the ten second rule is a rule found on social media where it urges others to be mindful of their words. For example, you can tell someone that their makeup is smudged. Said subject adjusts and solves that problem in a short amount of time e.g. “ten seconds”. However, if you tell someone that they’re “fat” then obviously they cannot fix that problem in “ten seconds”. They probably feel insecure about it as it’s something they can’t fix. 

“A voice isn’t everything, you potato,” he chides as he applies his hourly chapstick touch up. 

Ruggie Bucchi:

As unpleasant and unfortunate as it sounds, Ruggie’s entire childhood has been surrounded by disabled folks, ranging from blind to crippled with missing limbs.

His significant other being mute isn’t a huge surprise as he’s familiar with all sorts of people kind of like Vil except his experience is more hands-on per se. 

The only surprise is that his partner is mute which sounds contradicting, but at least hear him out! Ruggie never imagined being with someone with a disability. He doesn’t ever look down on people, but he never imagined being so smitten with someone with no voice.

Ruggie always imagined a mature lover who was willing to 

Listen, listen! He loves you! It was just unexpected and he surely isn’t complaining. He’s still is in shock, that’s all!Please don’t take that the wrong way. 

He isn’t good with words; Ruggie  doesn't want to offend you. Sometimes, the little hyena feels like he’s overstepping boundaries. 

This idiot overthinks things way into the future? Can he afford health care? If you became mute through trauma, then will he be able to afford therapy? 

What’s it like caring for someone in a condition like this? He’s only given them food from NRC’s cafeteria during the winter break; he doesn’t know much aside from that.

Ruggie tries his best nevertheless. He’s extremely understanding and cares for you in his own way. 

He isn’t one to be all sappy or speak on your behalf but he’ll definitely keep in mind that he speaks faster than you can write. 

He suggests for you to write in shorthand which is basically a method of writing that matches the speed of someone’s speech. At first, it was difficult, but now you two have your own secret language of sorts.

Now, learning sign language isn’t hard for Ruggie since being brought up in a poorer area taught him a thing or two about being a quick learner, but his hands are always full thanks to a certain prince so it’s hard for him to respond back via signs. 

Plus, he prefers shorthand messages. They’re just as quick as signs except they’re more discreet and they’re chaotic enough to confuse the staff whenever they catch you two passing notes in class. What’s all these random scribbles for, hm?

[hockeylvr59]

Secret Love Part 21 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: This chapter picks up just a few hours after the last one ended. Let me know your thoughts. Big things are happening...

Warnings: cursing, smut (handjobs, unprotected sex)

Word Count: 3,384

~~~~~

It had to be a couple hours later when Cale woke you up again, shifting out from under you. By the time you were actually awake, he was washing his hands and you assumed he’d needed to use the bathroom. Catching you watching his nude figure from across the room in the mirror, he smiled that bright smile you love so much. 

“My beautiful girl is up.” He commented, drying his hands off. “It’s about 3:30...I don’t know what time you made the reservation for but we should probably think about showering at least.” Nodding you pushed yourself upright. 

“Can you get me some water?” You requested, your mouth feeling dry from everything that had happened before your nap. 

“Sure thing sweetheart.” Cale agreed, heading out to the kitchen to bring you back a glass of water. Having downed the glass, you shoved the covers aside, moving to turn the massive shower on. Cale was right behind you as you climbed in and you felt his lips trail down your shoulder as you stepped under the water. 

Though the two of you attempted to focus on cleaning yourselves and each other up, your shower quickly turned into a steamy makeout session. A clash of tongue and teeth was accompanied by wandering hands: yours over Cale’s arms and chest, his down your sides and over your ass. Losing yourself in the kiss, you felt a spark run up your spine at the sound of Cale’s moan, his dick growing hard against your stomach. 

“You get hard for me so easily don’t you handsome.” You murmured against his lips. “I love that just kissing me turns you on.” Sliding your hand down further, you teased your fingertips over his length until he grunted into the kiss. 

“Y/N.” He mumbled, his eyes dark. 

“Shh...let me…” You insisted, forcing him to step back until he was pressed against the shower wall. “I caused this so let me take care of it.” You continued, pressing light kisses along his collarbone as you wrapped your hand around his cock. Silky skin covered his hard erection and as you teased over him with your fingers before pumping him in your hand, you could feel every little twitch and jolt of his body. There was something so freeing about being in control of his pleasure, knowing that it was your actions that made him feel good. 

It wasn’t long before Cale’s head fell back against the shower wall, his hand gripping tightly at your hip. 

“That’s it handsome...cum for me. Cum all over me.” Cale’s eyes jolted open at your last statement as his cock twitched in your hand, his ejaculate shooting out to coat your chest and stomach. “Oooo. That excited you.” You teased, gently releasing him as he went soft. “We’re gonna have to remember that.” You grinned, stretching to kiss him again, not caring that his semen was being spread onto his skin. 

“It’s the best of both fucking worlds with you.” Cale groaned, still recovering from his latest orgasm. “Mom loves you and the sex is insane.” Shaking your head, you laughed, pulling Cale back under the water to wash off one more time. 

“Alright Mr. Makar...time to behave. I demand to be wined and dined tonight so you have to let me get ready.” Stepping out of the shower, you wrapped yourself in a towel, drying off your hair with a second. Pulling out the blow dryer to speed up the drying process, you then switched to doing your makeup. Cale dried off and got dressed while you were working on your eyeliner before disappearing into another part of the house. 

Slipping into the navy fabric of your dress when you were finally finished with both your hair and makeup, you called Cale. 

“Can you help me zip this?” You requested, a shiver running up your spine as Cale’s fingers drug over your back lightly, the zipper following. “Thanks hun.” You murmured, bending over the bed to grab your sandals from your bag. It wasn’t until you had dropped them to the floor to slide onto your feet that you looked over at Cale, his jaw dropped. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, his cheeks pink as he praised you. 

“Thanks handsome.” You replied, grazing your lips over his before pulling back. “Are you ready to go?” You asked, looking at the clock to see that somehow you’d managed to be right on time to make it to your reservations. 

“Let me look at you for just a minute.” Cale replied, his hand reaching forward to slowly twirl you around. Spinning, his eyes raked over you with so much affection that it caused the heat to rise in your cheeks. 

“C’mon...let’s go…” You pushed, smoothing your hands down along his chest before grabbing your phone and purse. As you headed out the front door you were relieved to find that the rain was just a drizzle. Still, you tossed your keys to Cale, preferring not having to drive in these particular shoes. Putting the address of the winery into the gps, it didn’t take long for Cale to drive across town, throwing the car in park after pulling into a parking spot. 

Even though you had a reservation, the waitstaff needed just a few minutes to clear off a table. Leaning against the flagstone siding outside the restaurant, you looked off into the distance, admiring the countryside. Lost in thought about how wonderful it was to share these experiences with Cale: traveling, trying new restaurants, just dating like any other couple, you jumped when your phone buzzed in your purse. 

Seeing Cale on his phone as well, you felt less guilty looking at it and when you pulled your phone out you saw that it had been a notification from instagram signaling that you’d been tagged in a story...Cale’s story. Clicking on it, your jaw dropped seeing the picture of you, a picture Cale must have literally just taken. In the bottom left corner was a heart, while the bottom right contained your profile tag and the simple caption ‘dinner date with my girl’. 

As your heart started to pound, the hostess called your name and you quickly dropped your phone back into your purse, following after her with Cale’s hand slipping to your lower back as he walked behind you.

When you reached the table, you thanked the young woman before settling in and picking up your menu to decide on which of the starters, entrees, and desserts you wanted for your three course meal. It was at least a momentary distraction from the way your pulse was thrumming. 

“So we’re public public now…” The words spilled out suddenly. Cale’s eyes jolted up from his menu and he eyed you for a moment before a content grin spread across his face. 

“Yeah sweetheart. I’m done hiding you.” Somehow, the feeling of panic that had been growing shrunk instantly at his words. 

“Okay.” You nodded, sipping at your glass of water. You knew that there were going to be people who were rude or inconsiderate but Cale was right, that was no reason to hide. If your mother’s disapproval and paternity rumors couldn’t shake you, nothing anyone could say now would either. Cale was a very private person and the fact that he’d finally shared you only signaled just how deeply committed he was to this, to you. 

During dinner you talked about Cale’s training stories, some of the outrageous couples you’d been dealing with recently and when his phone started to buzz incessantly with texts, you made him read some of the team’s responses to his story to you, laughing at the way the guys chirped him. 

By the time you’d finished dinner, snatching the check before Cale could even think about paying it, you were full and happy. It wasn’t often that you actually went out with Cale, but each time you did you truly enjoyed yourself and the change of pace a night out provided to your normal routines. Having taken your time with dinner, by the time you left the restaurant it was nearly dark. 

Slipping back into the car, you watched the sky open up into a downpour the moment you closed the door. It hadn’t let up on the way back to the rental home and the moment you stepped out of the car you were immediately drenched. 

The grownup part of you nearly made a dash straight to the front door eager to get inside. But there was another part that took a different path, ditching your purse with your phone in the covered doorway. 

“Leave your phone, wallet, and the keys here. Then c’mon.” You directed your boyfriend, moving around the house to the large yard. The rain felt incredible on your skin, no signs of lightning or thunder present in the sky. Cale had looked at you like you were crazy, but eventually he’d followed, having also shed his dress shoes and socks.

“What are you doing?” He inquired, pushing some wet hair out of your face. 

“We’re already drenched, we might as well enjoy the rain.” You proclaimed, wrapping your arms around him. “In fact. I know exactly what we should do.” You added, tugging him out toward the lake. The houses on either side of yours were quiet and dark, no one in sight. Feeling bold, you reached up to undo the buttons of Cale’s shirt, your hands sliding along his skin. 

“Are you crazy?” Cale asked, his eyes going wide and cheeks flushing deeply. 

“There’s no one around.” You declared, reaching for the zipper to your dress. “Come skinny dipping with me.” It only took a moment to shed your dress and undergarments, kicking your sandals off of your feet. This was a little daring, but any hesitation you normally would have had was buried by the confidence two glasses of wine gave you and the way you and Cale were constantly pushing boundaries. 

The water of the lake was cool as you waded in, shielding yourself in its depths. Between the water and the dark rainy night, there was no way anyone could see you. You watched Cale’s shadowy figure as he clearly debated with himself for a moment before his shirt hit the ground followed by his pants and boxer-briefs. Once he made it out to you in the water, you swam close enough that you could actually see him, splashing him slightly in the process. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me...you know that sweetheart.” Cale mumbled. 

“Live a little.” You simply replied, your body moving fluidly under the water. Besides your state of undress, you felt just like a little kid again, playing in the rain in the little pool in the Makar’s backyard. “Just because we’re grownups doesn’t mean we can’t act like kids sometimes.” You reminded him. 

Because it was night, you didn’t wander too far from Cale, yet you still jumped when one of Cale’s hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you toward him. 

“I love how you always find ways to make life an adventure. You keep me on my toes.” He murmured, stealing a kiss as your legs wrapped loosely around his waist, his body keeping both of you afloat. 

“Life without adventure isn’t really life at all now is it?” You posed, your hands sliding up and around his neck again. “And now you have another thing you can check off your list.” You added, your voice turning teasing. 

“Hmm...mom has always thought you were a good influence on me. If only she knew the truth.” Cale teased right back, his hands grazing over a spot on your back that was unusually sensitive to his touch. 

For the next few minutes, you seemed to be playing the game of who could get the other to give into the sexual tension first, neither of you willing to bend. Inevitably, it wasn’t an action by either of you. As rain continued to pour over you, a crack of thunder sounded out of nowhere, sending you bolting out of the lake immediately. 

Grabbing your things, you rushed up to the house, entering the code on the back door simply because it was closer. You’d planned to grab a towel, dry off, and then dip around front to grab your things from outside but you’d barely reached the kitchen island when Cale’s large frame was behind you, his hands gently causing you to drop the wet clothing onto the floor as he pressed you against the granite countertop. 

“Cale...our things.” You gasped, Cale’s fingers dipping intimately low on your stomach. 

“Already put them just inside the front door.” Cale stated. “Now bend over for me. Gonna fuck you for being such a tease.” 

Absent the time in the car when you’d kind of rode Cale, he’d never taken you from behind before and the realization caused you to bend willingly for him, curious as to how it would be different. 

There was no pause in Cale’s actions as he pressed you firmly against the counter, swiped his thumb through your core testing your wetness, and lined himself up before thrusting deep inside of you. 

This was at least your 4th round of penetrative sex in about 24 hours and though you were sore, it created that pleasure/pain sensation that was just on the right side of good. Your body slammed against the counter with each thrust, and with Cale’s cock hitting your g-spot with efficiency, you knew it wouldn’t take long before your orgasm crashed down on you. 

“So good sweetheart.” Cale whispered as his hand swept your wet hair off of your neck. “Checking so many things off our list today aren’t we.” He suggested. “Rub your clit for me…” 

“I’m not the only bad influence.” You gasped, your hand sneaking down to rub quick circles over your swollen bundle of nerves. 

“Who...me? A bad influence...never.” Cale said, his voice mostly coming out in a grunt. 

“Fuck…” You whined, Cale hitting a particularly sensitive spot inside of you. “Yeah uh huh...keep believing that hun…” You stuttered, your head dropping down onto the countertop as you arched your hips back against Cale. “Last I checked, I wasn’t the one who made you pull over while driving to have sex because of an item of clothing. Or the one who decided to engage in foreplay while 2 feet from our families. You’re not so innocent Calesy.” 

“Didn’t hear you complaining.” Cale groaned, his thrusts starting to become staggered as his orgasm approached. 

“Not complaining. You know I love it when you fuck me.” You gasped. “Just saying...if I’m a bad influence so are you.” 

“For something bad...it feels so good.” Cale mumbled, spilling inside of you, his hips keeping as much of a pace as he could even through his own orgasm until he felt you clamp down around him as your orgasm crested. 

With him still nestled inside you, Cale’s hands ran over your back in soothing patterns until your body and breath steadied. 

“This is gonna be messy, but I’ve gotta pull out sweetheart. Are you good to get yourself to the bathroom while I take these clothes to hang in the other bathroom to dry?” Nodding weakly, you felt Cale’s semen start dripping down your thighs as soon as he slipped out of you. Moving as quickly as you could to the bathroom, you peed and cleaned yourself up as best you could before grabbing a towel to dry the rest of your still wet body off. 

Cale had done at least a little damage control by the time you hung the towel back up, and before you could move to grab pajamas, he was offering you a clean t-shirt to pull on before pulling you between his thighs as he sat on the bed. 

“Was that okay?” He questioned, thumbs grazing lightly back and forth across your hips. “I know we hadn’t done that before.” 

“Yeah hun...that was good.” You assured him, fingers carding through his wet hair. “You’ve yet to do anything that hasn’t made me feel good.” You elaborated. “I like trying all of these new things with you. I like that no matter how many times we have sex, something is always new or different. You always focus on taking care of me...I’ve never had a partner who was so generous every single time. Granted my experience before you was pretty limited but still. Not to be crude but we just fit together perfectly. I hope it’s as good for you as it is for me.” 

“It is.” Cale agreed. “Just checking.” He shrugged. 

“I promise I’ll tell you if you ever do something I don’t like okay. You don’t need to worry about it. I like making love to you. I like fucking you. I like experiencing every level of closeness that I can with you. I like showing you how much I love you through that type of physical relationship. Because I do love you. So so much.” 

“I love you too.” Cale smiled softly. 

“Now can I have some post sex cuddles?” You requested, straddling his boxer-brief laiden lap. 

Cale chuckled and fell back onto the bed, with you on top of him, quickly twisting the two of you around so that you were more comfortable to cuddle. 

“You can always have cuddles.” He whispered, his lips pressed against your head. Basking in the feeling of Cale’s heart beating under your ear, you almost fell asleep until the little gift box in your purse popped back into your head. You hadn’t had a specific plan for giving it to him, but for some reason you felt like maybe now was the right time. 

Cale was obviously still awake by the way his fingers kept changing up the pattern along your spine and when you shifted he groaned, his eyes fluttering open to look at you as you pushed yourself up off the bed. 

“Where are you going?” He questioned. 

“I’ll be right back.” You assured him, padding out of the room to find your purse sitting in the living room. Checking your phone to make sure you hadn’t missed anything urgent, you grabbed the small gift box and returned, hiding it in your hand as you slid back into bed. 

Cale’s eyes slid shut again as you snuggled against him, but they popped back open when you placed the small box on his bare chest. 

“What’s this?” His voice was full of confusion and you rubbed your thumb over the crease of his forehead as it crinkled. 

“A present obviously.” You stated. “And before you say that I didn’t have to get you a present or that it’s not any important date, it’s more of a sentimental gift and I wanted to do it just because.” You informed him, slightly anxious as to what he was going to think. 

Shifting to let him sit up just slightly, you watched as he pulled the lid off the box, slowly pulling out the key. 

“Is this?” He whispered his face showing clear signs that he was processing. 

“A key to my house. Yes.” You confirmed. “More specifically...it’s your key to my house. Not an emergency key.” Taking a deep breath you continued wanting Cale to fully understand. “So you can come and go as you please. So that when you need some place to escape to, you know you’re always welcome. Whether I’m there or not.” Cale’s gaze was soft and you swallowed hoping he understood.

“Someday it’ll mean more but hopefully that makes sense.” You finished, your voice dropping. 

Instead of responding verbally, Cale dropped his mouth to yours in the sweetest, most tender kiss you could recall having ever shared. 

“It makes perfect sense.” He finally agreed. “You’re incredible. Thank you. You may think it’s a small gesture but it means so much more than you know.” 

This time, when you settled back against his chest, sleep started creeping up on you quickly. Still, the way he brushed his fingers against your left ring finger didn’t go unnoticed, a silent sign that he also was thinking about what someday would bring. 

Dress: 

[bffsoobin]

Windflower

01|02|03|04|05|06

↳ after a heartbreak you find yourself in a small town looking for purpose. you find employment with Choi Soobin and his impressive ancestral home. when you start to fall in love again, there’s no way for you to predict what you find in the depths of the home and Soobin’s mind.

➤ hanahaki au, angst, slight fluff, dark themes

Word Count:6,881

Warnings: swearing, descriptions of sickness and feeling generally unwell, mentions of doctors/medical treatments, deception, descriptions of anxiety/panic, horror, pain, major character death, general dark themes! Please proceed with caution if you’re sensitive! (also I did not proof read)

A/N:excuse my language; but holy fuck. I cannot believe this is the end of Windflower. This is insane. Windflower is my passion project, and the desire to write it is half the reason I opened my account on here. While it hasn’t been the most popular writing on my blog, I have been really really proud of it. Thank you to everyone who has been reading and supporting this since the beginning! I love you all!

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:••:•.•

Soobin sat with his head dipped toward the dark wooden dining table. He was scrolling through what appeared to be a website for a plant nursery; as if he needed more within the home. You were sitting opposite of him, peeking over the top of your laptop where you were pretending to read an article on the ten best shows coming to Netflix this fall. Following the night of your drunken rage, the two of you had patched up your relationship as well as you possibly could. You’d traded apologies, talked it out over a store-bought cheesecake and moved on. 

At least, you assumed he had. He acted as if you hadn’t accused him of being some type of fraud and proclaimed that you could no longer trust him. Everything was eerily the same, despite Soobin’s increased caution around you in certain settings. Gone were the days of him laying a hand on your back as you cooked or resting his head on your shoulder while you both dozed off on the couch. 

You should have been grateful for his physical distance. Happy that he was giving you the room you had hinted at needing on that night a few weeks ago. Instead you were annoyed. Frustrated at the way you craved to feel his comforting touch even though you knew it would only bring you more pain in the end. For a while, you worried that his avoidance meant he had seen the evidence of your stupidity floating within the toilet bowl, but you knew Soobin well enough to know that he would have talked to you about it. Right? He would have brought it up; although slowly and with extreme caution, and asked you what he could do to help. He had proven himself to be mature and thoughtful, even after you’d tried to push him away. 

He finally stirred in his seat across the table. You could actually hear a few of his bones crack with the movement and you stifled a laugh. 

“What’s so funny?” He tried to sound intimidating, but his voice was so inherently soft around the edges that you couldn’t hold back the laugh. 

“You’re just an old man,” you were poking at him, you knew, but it felt good. You felt normal. Almost like you were back to the time when the two of you were truly just friends. He planted both of his large, vascular hands flat on the table and leaned his weight forward. 

“I’m an old man? You do know we’re the same age, Y/N. So if I’m so old...” he paused for dramatic affect as you stared up at him in amused awe. “Then you must be ancient.”

An offended gasp, obviously feigned, slipped between your lips; which you now noticed you’d chewed raw as you were thinking earlier. 

“How dare you? I am the epitome of youth! My hair is flowing, my skin is flawless,” you pointed to a blemish on your chin you knew for a fact you’d had for days. “My youthful beauty is unmatched, can’t you tell?” You weren’t sure where your sudden good mood had come from but you basked in it. Even as Soobin used his hands as leverage to lean closer to your face, you didn’t budge. You couldn’t. This close up, you could spot every single little freckle on his face. The dynamic shades of his irises became more and more distinct until he finally stopped advancing toward you. It was easily the closest the two of you had been in weeks. 

“Hm, you’re right. I can tell. There’s something about you...” he squinted his eyes as if he were scrutinizing your every feature. “You are beautiful, Y/N.” 

The sentence brought an unwanted visceral reaction through your body. It was too much like a confession, too close to the exact words you needed to hear from him. A shooting pain rippled through your heart. You shuddered out an exhale, shutting your eyes tight as if that would stave away the pain. In a blind panic, you pushed away from the solid table and made to put as much distance between yourself and Soobin as possible. Then your migraine hit, the feeling like someone had stuck a red hot iron rod behind both of your eyes. Fuck. On top of that pain, a cough worked its way up your throat, producing a petal into your mouth that was slimy and bitter.

You only made it two and a half steps before your knees gave out, sending you hurtling toward the floor in a free fall. Sticking your hands out just before the impact, you accepted the fact that you were about to get a concussion out of your own inability to properly distance yourself from an unrequited love. But the sensitive skin of your face never bounced off of the original hardwood flooring you had once drooled over. 

“Y/N?” Soobin was panicked, stooped down  next to you as he had managed to barely break your fall and turn you around to lay on your back. Your vision was still swimming, but you cracked open your eyes very slowly. 

‘What’s wrong? Do you need to go to a doctor?” 

“No,” you croaked out, “was just a migraine.” Soobin scoffed. 

“I’ve never seen anyone nearly pass out from just a migraine, Y/N. And in all the months I’ve known you, you’ve never-”

“I’m fine.” You asserted, sitting up as well as you could with his arms wrapped protectively around your shoulders. “They used to happen the last time I- uh, when I was in college. It’s okay, they’ll pass.” You were lying right through your teeth. The last time you had a migraine this badly, your then roommate had rushed you to the emergency room and discovered that you had hanahaki. There was no doubt that history was repeating itself. 

 “Okay.” He was frowning, obviously unconvinced as he pushed a hand against your lower back. “At least let me help you upstairs.” 

----

The migraine either dissipates or you simply become accustomed to it. The petal you had coughed into a tissue when you first reached your room had dried, sitting on your bedside table in its perfect little form to mock you. You were so disgusted that you couldn’t even bring yourself to throw it away. No longer sensitive to light, you shrugged out from underneath your sheets and stretched your limbs until they cracked. A dull thumping was still present at the base of your skull; a reminder of what you’d just suffered. A sickly feeling of anxiety passed through you like a breeze, making the hair on the back of your neck stand to attention. Soobin was clearly not convinced by your insistence that your sudden ailment was nothing of concern. And he was right. In all the time you’d been around him, you never once experienced a spell quite like that, so how was he supposed to not be suspicious?

Although, you had to hold onto hope that he truly didn’t know any better. It seemed as though he was blissfully ignorant to the truth behind your sickness, and you’d like to keep it that way. For as long as you possibly could, anyway. 

You hadn’t even noticed that you were pacing across the floor until you landed your weight onto a particularly squeaky board that sounded ridiculous in the otherwise quiet room. Freezing on the spot, you held your breath for some reason you truly couldn’t explain. Of course, there was no logical reason to do so, and the action only resulted in your lungs contracting violently. Your upper body shuddered as you opened your mouth instantly. Holding your breath for just a few seconds should have been a simple task, but to your weakened heart and lungs it felt like running a whole marathon uphill. 

Buckling over, you heaved in mouthfuls of oxygen until your heart rate dropped back down to a normal rate. Add shortness of breath to your growing list of signs that should send you running for the nearest clinic. If you weren’t so foolishly attached to the man who was probably worrying about you downstairs, you would have already been booking yourself an appointment. 

It just seemed totally inconceivable, even in your predicament, to leave Soobin behind within his ancestral house that surely felt horridly empty being lived in alone. You would sooner walk over lava barefoot than put him through that. It was stupid. So incredibly stupid, but you were literally willing to put your life on the line just to look after Soobin. He had really weaseled himself deep into your psyche. But you knew you were to blame for holding the door wide open. He had done so much for you, surely you could do him to kindness of sticking around as long as you possibly could.

So you trudged down the steps like you did every day, expecting to come face to face with an overly worried and doting young man standing in the kitchen or living room awaiting your arrival. But the lower level of the house was oddly silent when you descended the steps. The low hum of the washer and dryer running were the only indications that someone beside yourself was even there. Curiosity spiking, you made your way to the vacant living room to peer out of the windows. It was a bit hard to see him from this angle, but you spotted Soobin lounging on the back deck, skin browning in the sun and eyes closed in content. His arms were tucked behind his head, effectively lengthening his torso and giving you a full view of the sliver of skin that was peeking out between the top of his waistband and the bottom of the white cotton t-shirt  You noticed that he was once again wearing the outfit he was donning when you first arrived at the front gate weeks ago. Although the outfit was simple and generally unremarkable, you would never forget the way your heart lurched at the sight of his lithe body the first time. The warm pull of nostalgia nagged at the back of your mind, so you selfishly let yourself sink into its embrace and recall the trepidation you had once approached the grounds with. 

Soobin had charmed you so easily with his windswept hair and boyish charm that it was a shock you didn’t begin to grow flowers for him the first time you met. To be fair, the version of you who had rolled into town almost two months prior was much more cautious than the version you were now familiar with. Part of you missed that version of you; who was simply drifting through life, unattached to anyone and looking for a new spot to plant her roots. But you knew you weren’t built to live like that, as your attachment to Soobin had proven wholeheartedly. 

Suddenly, you felt a lurching in your chest that didn’t necessarily hurt you; but urged you to go outside and talk to Soobin. A subconscious pull that reminded you that your body craved his attention just as much as your mind did. The weather was beautiful today, a pleasant temperature that made your skin feel like it was glowing as soon as you were under the sun. As soon as you stepped onto the porch, Soobin whipped his head around in your direction. Cutely, he scrambled to sit up, hair frizzy from the static of the Adirondack chair he had been lounging on. 

“Are you feeling better?” A warm hand encased the left side of your face, Soobin’s sloped nose just inches away from yours as his speckled eyes studied every single pore and line on your face. 

“Uh- I’m-” his proximity was making your jittery, heart rate spiking as you tried to collect your thoughts. “I feel better. The migraine is gone.” You ignored the way the same dull ache from earlier was beginning to seep into the edges of your brain. 

“Oh, good!” A rush of his breath blew over your sensitive skin, sending your eyelids into a flutter. When he removed his hand, you felt oddly cold and empty despite the heat of the atmosphere. “Look, I don’t want you to do any work around the house until you’re feeling better. And I can call my doctor to get you in for a-”

“No!” The word jumped off of your tongue before you could reign it in; rudely cutting Soobin off as his eyes widened in shock. He shifted his weight as his eyebrows knit together in worry. You licked your lips- suddenly dry- and tried to collect the thoughts that were running laps in your mind. How could you possibly explain that going to the doctor would be a grave mistake and mark the end of your companionship. 

“You don’t want to go to the doctor? I promise he’s really nice, Y/N, and he can get you medicine for your migraines.” His perfect lips were pulled into a worried pout, a thin sheen of sweat glazing his skin only exemplifying his perfect complexion. 

“No, it’s just that...when I had them before they ran a bunch of tests,” you were hedging the truth and you knew it, but hopefully Soobin couldn’t tell the difference, “and there was nothing they could give me to help them. So a doctor would just be, ya know, a waste of time.” The skin on the back of your neck was heated in worry as you shot Soobin what you hoped was a convincing grin. 

“Okay.” He was still frowning but he seemed to believe you. “Just please let me know if you want to go. I don’t want you to be miserable. And you’re still not doing any yard work,” he grasped your bicep and led you over to the chair he had just been lying in. His grip was strong as he gave you no choice but to sit down and relax. The plastic was heated from the sunshine and the heat of his body as you settled in and looked up at him, blinking slowly. 

“I’m not gonna break, Soobin. I can handle watering the plants and doing some cleaning inside. You are not going to wait on me hand and foot.” You put some fire in your tone, hoping to edge away the anxiety you were feeling creep up the back of your throat. Having the exact person who sent your body on a fight against itself watching over you like a mother cat watches its kittens would surely put you six feet under. 

Soobin’s eyes steeled as he crossed his arms over his broad, defined chest. “No, Y/N. I am going to wait on you, because you’ve spent so much time waiting on me, and you deserve to have someone take care of you. Please let me take care of you, bub.” You were speechless at the strength of his voice coupled with the nickname he had only used in a teasing manner prior to this moment. The longer you stared at the toned muscle of his arms crossed over the widest part of his torso, the more your throat began to tickle with the insistence of soft, red petals that were looking for an escape. Panicked, you looked away quickly, coughing as softly as you can to hopefully pass the action off as simply swallowing down the wrong pipe. Just when you think the moment has passed, an unwavering push at the back of your throat had you involuntarily gagging. Soobin sprung into action, patting a large hand between your shoulder blades as if he were burping an infant. He was calling your name, pulling some strands of your hair away from your face in a bid to get your attention; but you ignored him. Your stomach rolled, the pressure in your lungs and heart only increasing at his touch that you tried to shrug off. 

Eventually the muscles of your esophagus stopped constricting and fresh oxygen could flow back into your crowded lungs. Hot tears slipped down your cheeks and you wiped at them in embarrassment, hiding your face from Soobin’s intensified gaze. You could only imagine what he was thinking right now; as you’d just went from insisting you had no need for a doctor to dry heaving over the side of his deck furniture. The thought had you shrinking into yourself even more. He was going to catch on eventually, wasn’t he? Fuck. You couldn’t avoid this much longer. The evidence of your disease was only mounting and Soobin was more observant than ever before. 

“Y/N.” The call of your name brought you, slowly, out of your own mind. “Look at me.” The words could not have been any clearer, yet you shook your head like a petulant child. He sighed. “Please, I’m worried about you. Please let me take care of you. I can’t,” he stopped and you could hear him swallow clearly. Was that a sniffle? Your heart clenched in response. “I can’t sit here and watch you hurt.” 

Still ashamed, you raised your head from your hands and stared out over the yard instead of facing him. You didn’t think your stuttering heart would survive seeing his expression in this supercharged moment. You’d sooner drop dead than see Soobin crying over you.

“Okay,” you acquiesced, mind already running in the direction of a backup plan, “I’m sorry, Soobin. You’re right. I do need you to look after me. Just please.” you swallowed, tasting the oddly earthy tang of flower petals on your tongue. “No doctors. You have to promise me.” Finally turning your body to face his, your earlier suspicions were confirmed. 

Your heart constricted painfully at the sight of him, eyes rimmed red and watery with unshed tears and a line of worry creasing the soft skin of his forehead harshly. “Fine.” He huffed, clearly displeased with your stipulation but willing to make the sacrifice. 

“Thank you,” the words were whispered, caught in a sudden gust of wind, but he heard them nonetheless and sent you a small nod. 

“Of course.”

----

Soft sunlight filtered through the flowy white curtains hanging over the windows of the library. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t spent much time in this little haven since you moved in. Soobin’s cousin had filled it with plush armchairs laden with soft fleece blankets and the most comfortable throw pillows you’d ever felt. The books were certainly outdated, but you found some classics that satisfied the itch for escape you had begun to cultivate. Currently, you were flipping through a vintage illustrated coffee table book- the front page tells you it was made in 1962- that gave diagrams and names of all types of flowers. You shouldn’t have been surprised to find this type of literature here, as Soobin himself had admitted to learning the meanings of flowers in his free time. 

The pages were delicate, so you flipped them carefully, fingers tracing over the edges that felt like they might melt between the oil of your skin. As you turned onto a new page a brightly colored sticky note, not unlike the ones you used to mark up textbooks, drew your attention toward the flower it was attached to. You recognized the flower as jasmine immediately, familiar with the patch of it that weaved among its neighbors in the garden. Brushing the sticky note aside, you read the delicate cursive underneath it: eternal and unconditional love. Cute. The image of a younger Soobin thumbing through the book, tongue pushed out in concentration as he researched warmed your heart. 

A tremor of weakness passed through your arm, making your hand shake. A feeling of dread- which you desperately tried to push down- reminded you of just how much worse your condition had become. You had noticed it lately, the way you felt much more faint than normal, how much more often you had to take a moment to catch your breath, the way your whole body would shake when you cough up a mix of blood and petals into the sink. 

But for now, you chose to lose yourself in this book and the newfound hunt for Soobin’s sticky notes of interest. You had to skip a few pages before you found the next ones; two bundled together in the upper left corner of the page marked off forget-me-nots and begonias. Gently lifting the sticky notes revealed the meanings behind these flowers, also featured in the backyard, to be true love and deep compassion and communication or connection, respectively. Curiosity mounting, you continued to flip through the weighty book. At first, you began to think that maybe the three notes you’d already found were all that lived within the forgotten book. As you neared the end, your eyes caught on two more, this time on opposite ends of the page. One partially covered an illustration of a snapdragon, the other highlighting the small flowers of a buttercup. Your nails caught on the edge of the blue paper as you lifted it. Buttercups: neatness and innocence. The definition made sense, calling back to memory the way your former best friend had coughed up a handful of the pale yellow flowers when you were just children. She was easily the most pure and innocent person you’d ever met, and given the matching nature of the boy who’d also been secretly pining over her; you couldn’t think of a more perfect example of the type of flower representing the relationship. 

You wondered if Soobin had chosen and planted these flowers with the image of the relationships they’re indicative of in mind. The snapdragon’s description was totally covered by the sticky note; so you nearly had to pry the whole thing off before you could see the cursive. Deception. The word stared back at you. It seemed very out of place among the other markings that Soobin had made. You knew for a fact that a tall, thick patch of snapdragons were growing proudly in the garden, among all the other flowers with soft, beautiful meanings. Interesting. You would consider the fact that Soobin was only drawn to their aesthetics, but the way the drawing was marked with the same enthusiasm as the others was certainly curious. 

You decided that you were thinking way too far into this. For all you knew, the snapdragons were simply planted by someone in his family and he had gone looking for their meaning. Nearing the end of the book, you were simply skimming over the book. Your eyes were starting to get tired, fatigue dancing under your skin as you considered taking a nap right there. On the final, yellowed page of the flower identification book, you spotted something alarmingly familiar. A red flower whose petals fade into a pure white near the stem. The exact same petals that had been crawling up your throat and ruining the little bit of safety you’d found within Soobin’s home. 

Suddenly on high alert, you sat up straight, eyes watering as you finally focused enough to comprehend the definition. The red windflower. Death and forsaken love. Your throat went completely dry, heart dropping down to your stomach. The petals pushed against the soft flesh of the inside of your throat, scratching at the back of your tongue as a harsh reinforcement of what you were reading. Death? Surely you had joked with yourself that you felt as if you were dying, but was that not just because you hadn’t seen a doctor? 

A new gagging cough slipped past your lips, consuming your senses totally as you focused on not spewing a mix of blood, spit and flower petals onto the surely expensive leather chair. Finally, you collapsed back in the chair, chest heaving, book laid open on your lap. Fresh tears brimmed your eyes. You needed to leave. As much as you desired to stay around Soobin and bask in his company, you were becoming increasingly worried for your life. You had to find a way to get him out of the house long enough for you to pack up the essentials and flee the house. It would hurt. It would hurt so bad, but nothing could be worse than the message of doom that your body was giving you. Loving Soobin would literally put you in an early grave. 

“Hey, Y/N, you okay?” Soobin’s voice came cautiously from somewhere behind you and you jumped, clasping the book shut quickly. 

“I’m-” you tried, voice too wrecked from coughing to continue. You cleared your throat, ignoring the painful pinch that created and tried again. “I’m okay. But I was wondering if you’d do me a favor?” Thinking on your feet had your head spinning, and you hoped he couldn’t sense the waver in your voice as you spoke. 

He approached slowly, sitting himself on an armchair opposite of you. The knees of his jeans were stained brown with dirt, a sight not uncommon after his time in the garden. He pushed a hand through his mussed up hair. It was a nervous tick, you knew, and you felt awful for worrying him. Maybe it was better if you left after all. 

“Could you go out to Hank’s and get me a Smore’s sundae? I would drive myself but...” a vague gesture over your generally unwell body made the point clear. “I know it’s pretty far out of town but I’ve been craving one since the first time we went.” 

“Of course. I’m done outside, I can go. Are you sure you’ll be okay alone? I’ll be out for probably like 40 minutes to get all the way there and back.”

“Yes, Soobin. I can still handle myself alone. I’m not that sick.” The irony of the statement was not lost on you, but it seemed to have placated him enough for him to slip on his shoes and leave the house. As soon as he was gone, you threw yourself off of the chair. Your heart rate had been in a constant state of increase for weeks, but you just had to just push through it for now. 

In a flurry of packing that was all too familiar to the way you left your college apartment,  you began to gather your things. You felt a twinge of guilt for leaving behind some of your things for Soobin to contend with, but you had to push it aside in favor of working quickly. All of your personal items, chargers, enough clothing for two weeks, toiletries and any money you’d brought along with you were stuffed into your trusty tote bag. You took one last sweeping look around the room, anxiety licking at the back of your neck as you feared you were running out of time. Many of your dressers were still full and you had left the bed a mess but your most important items were tucked underneath your arm securely; and that was enough for you. 

As you descended the stairs, you tried to ignore the way you wobbled dangerously down them until you finally got to the bottom level of the house. A bittersweet feeling rose in your chest as you surveyed the kitchen where you’d cooked and baked so many times. The living room beckoned you with similar memories of taking naps in the sunshine and watching your favorite films. A stray tear you didn’t know was welling up made a hot streak down your face before dripping off of your skin. No matter how much it hurt, you had to keep moving. The floor creaked familiarly under your feet as you approached the front door. The handle was cold under your fingers as you twisted, but the satisfying creak and rush of fresh air that you were expecting never came. You tried again, but the door didn’t budge. Locked. Okay, that made sense. Neither of you really used the front door, so of course it was locked up. Leaning down to inspect the doorknob, you realized that the age of the home meant that you would need a skeleton key to slip into the door and crack it open. 

Slightly annoyed, you took a deep, steadying breath and headed for the backdoor. You would have to walk further to get to your car; but the back door should be unlocked, considering Soobin had just left out of it. With more fervor, you gripped the door knob and twisted, just to be met with the same resistance the front door gave. A flash of hot panic consumed you as you jiggled the handle again, just in case it would make any difference. Soobin must have locked it out of habit when he left, and you knew for a fact that he had the only key-as far as you knew- with him out at Hank’s. Blindly, you grabbed for your cellphone before realizing how useless that would truly be. No one knew you were here. You didn’t have any other friends in town, and it’s not like you could call the police to come help you without Soobin finding out. Sweaty palms made your phone nearly slip from your grip as your mind worked in overdrive. 

“Okay.” you whispered to yourself, “where would he keep spare keys?” Rifling through a mental list of all the nooks and crannies of the home, a sudden realization hit you. That room upstairs where you had hit your head! That would explain why the room seemed oddly clean, and it was feasible to believe that what you mistook for an AC unit was actually a safe of some kind. Back up the steps you went, heart thumping in a rhythm that was surely unhealthy for someone as young as yourself. 

When you finally got to the room, you found the mismatched furniture exactly where you left it. Soobin had clearly made no effort to move back the dresser or the table that you’d begun to slide out of the way; only making your mission so much easier. 

For the first time today, you had luck when you pulled at the handle of something. Up close, you seemed to be clearly looking at some kind of built in storage compartment, made of a light metal and easily accessed by a small pull lever. Your fingers slipped as you swung the door open, excitement rising at the prospect of being correct about the keeping place of the keys. 

As fast as the excitement and relief had risen, they were quelled and buried deep underneath a wash of confusion. Within the confines of the compartment, you were faced with... flowers. In the middle, acting as some sort of centerpiece, was a pressed snapdragon stem. An entire cluster of flowers, attached firmly to a greened stem was propped up on a small stand; shrink wrapped in protective plastic. Something about the sight was oddly familiar. The stem was cut so perfectly across, completely unlike the way a garden sheer or someone breaking off the plant would present. A memory surfaced to the top of your mind, recalling the first time you’d had your flowers removed. It was cut in the exact same manner; with the precision only a surgical tool could make. Although you’d tried to bury the whole process in a dusty corner of your mind, you did remember your doctor offering the option to take the removed flower home. It had appalled and confused you, but it was clear that that was the source of this exact flower. 

“What the fuck?” you whispered, catching sight of an almost unrecognizable sharpie scribbled on the corner. CS. Initials? Oh god. CS. Choi Soobin. Your hand recoiled as if you’d been burned, the feeling of bile raising toward your tongue. He had told you that he never grew flowers, so what the hell was this? Why would he keep this a secret? Hurt and panic joined hands and wreaked havoc on your nervous system. You could barely think straight. Was this his...trophy case? 

When you shifted on your feet, you spotted a small envelope resting behind the stand. A sick feeling of curiosity had you reaching for it. At this point, you had no idea what to expect as your fingers stick to the material thanks to the sweat permeating your body. It takes a few tries, but once you finally get the envelope slipped open, you can’t tell what you’re looking at. The lighting was too awkward, so you dumped the contents out onto the surface of the compartment. You weren’t sure what you were expecting to see; but it certainly wasn’t this. Dozens of flower petals, dried and shrink wrapped in the same fashion as the haunting centerpiece spilled out in front of you. The smooth metal surface sent them all skidding, so it took you a second to get the whole picture. The first one to catch your eye was a white, pointed petal that you could easily identify as jasmine with the same handwritten pair of letters on one corner. YJ. Another protected petal, this one the tell tale purple-blue of a forget me not bore the letters SA. In fact, you could match every single one of these petals to a flower you had been fawning over in the garden since your arrival. 

One that had scattered toward the back of the case seemed to compel you even though you couldn’t quite see it. You reached for it blindly, bringing a few, clearly much older flowers forward with it. Sifting through them only struck more and more fear into you. Every instinct you had was telling you to run, scream, pound on a window until you could bust out. Soobin was clearly not all he had claimed to be. But a dark, twisted side of yourself you didn’t know existed wanted to sift through all of the petals and match them up with the garden you’d cared for. Resting at the bottom of the pile in your hand, you finally came across the petal you’d initially reached for. 

It was about the size of a penny; red, fading into a simple white at the bottom. This was it. This was the exact petal that you’d spit out onto your bedside table after your first awful migraine. Now that you thought about it, you never did throw it out. You were too disgusted to even face the flora that haunted you. 

Your heart stopped. The sharpie on this flower was smudged, as if he had been in too much of a hurry to let it dry. Your initials were there, clear as day. He had collected your flower for his sick collection. He had collected...you. 

The little happy world you had built yourself came crashing down like a ton of bricks. If he had done this to you, then surely all of these other petals came from others who had come to work and live with him. You recalled an early discussion about family tradition as you thumbed over a group of much more withered looking flowers. 

This was the family tradition. 

Alarms blared in your mind. Get out, your mind urged faster than your feet could move. Tripping over yourself, you hoped that Soobin wasn’t home yet, as you had no idea how to get out of the home. Your feet pounded noisily on the hardwood but that was the very least of your worries. Skidding into the kitchen, your blood ran cold.

Soobin. 

“Hey,” his voice was smooth, unwavering as he leaned against the sink nursing a bottle of water. On the island there was a brown paper bag with Hank’s logo printed on the front. “There’s your ice cream.” 

You didn’t know what to do. Clearly, you had been caught red handed with a tote bag in hand and anxious sweat rolling down your face. 

“Oh, uh. Thanks.” The room sat creepily still as Soobin’s eyes, devoid of any clear emotion, roved over you. He quirked an eyebrow as he pushed himself off of the counter. You couldn’t move, even as he stalked closer. 

“What happened to you resting? You’re sick.” He had asked a question but it seemed clear we really wasn’t looking for an answer. 

“I just-” your words turned into a gasp as Soobin gripped your shoulder so hard that it hurt. Gone were the usually careful caresses of his fingers as he pushed you backwards. With your body already weak it only took one wrong step for you to be sent flying toward the floor. On instinct, you tried to grab onto Soobin’s solid body for support, but he stepped back and watched you fall, bouncing the back of your head off of the floor hard enough to go limp. Consciousness came and went as you struggled to do anything in the name of self defense. Your lungs and heart were too compromised to acquire and pump the nutrients your body needed. Soobin crouched over you, studying you with a passive look on his face. 

“Ya know,” he sighed, pulling the tote bag away from your body. “I really did like you. I hoped to have spent some more time with you, but you’re just,” he clicked his tongue, grabbing you firmly by the ankles and giving an experimental tug. You slid along the floor easily. “So. Nosy. Too nosy for your own good.” 

“Soobin, you’re not- this isn’t-” a dark chuckle passed between his lips. The ones you once dreamed of. 

“You don’t know me. This is exactly who I am, Y/N. This is who my whole family is.” He dropped your ankles harshly, secure in the fact that you were too weak to get up. A shroud of darkness filled your head as you grayed out from the panic. When you awoke again, it was to the sound of birds chirping. It hurt to open your eyes but you did it anyway, spotting Soobin just above you, wielding a shovel. 

He smiled down at you, deceivingly handsome, as he stuck the shovel into the pliant ground just to your side. Looking to your left, you spotted a freshly dug shallow grave and your blood ran cold at the recognition that he must have been digging this earlier in the day when you were reading. 

“Please, don’t do this.” you begged with the last of your energy. “Soobin, please. I- I love you.” Desperation had you spitting out your deepest secrets in a bid to catch his attention and change his behavior. 

“Awe,” he crooned, grabbing onto your wrists with a grip that would certainly bruise your delicate skin. “I know.” One sharp movement had you landing on your back in the dirt, several feet below ground level. The impact pushed all the air out of your compromised lungs and you didn’t even have the semblance to lift your head and scream to anyone listening. Soobin stood above you, blocking the sun from your view as he dropped something onto you. It took you a few moments, but you soon realized he had dropped a handful of red windflower petals and seeds onto your front. You shuddered. This is surely what had happened to all the other people who carried the flowers you’d found. This was how Soobin kept his beautiful garden. Sacrifice. 

Wordlessly, he piled shovel fulls of dirt on top of your body. With your eyes slipping shut, all you could do was feel the weight of being buried alive consume you. 

----

Soobin hated the winter. It was too long, too cold, too boring. He usually spent the whole time holed up in his home, dreaming of the day the weather warms. 

Finally, finally, after months of waiting the time had come. An early summer breeze pushed his hair out of his face. This season he had decided to go for a purple color that seemed to suit his complexion well. Sitting on his favorite deck chair, he gazed out at the beginnings of his blooming garden. All of the usuals had cropped up, but it was with great pride and delight that Soobin regarded the patch of red windflowers that had begun to grow. For their first season, they were going strong, covering almost the entire plot of land he had allowed them. For a while, he had been worried that the new plants wouldn’t perform well, since he’d never dealt with them before. But he was quite proud. 

As he sipped from a frosty glass of lemonade, he heard the distant crunch of his driveway gravel. It had been almost a year since the last time he heard it, but his heart jumped in excitement. Stretching his limbs, he began a lazy meander toward the front gate; already making out the slight static of the speaker as someone spoke into it, introducing themselves and asking if they were in the right place. Clearing his throat, he rounds to corner to the great iron gate surrounded by his guarding trees and glances back at his garden. Then he advanced, opening the gate as he came and beckoning his new guest inside the boundaries of his property.

“Hi! I’m Soobin. This house belonged to my great-great-uncle and his wife. Well, wives.”

tag list: @unlocktxt @magicisland9-34 @givethnofucketh @yeonjjuniverse​ 

[ninak803]

Elitist Nightmares

And chapter 3 is ready! Thank y’all for reading it, it makes me so happy!

@whataboutmyfries thanks for helping me with the story! It’s evolving because of you.

characters belong to @lumosinlove

Chapter 3

Remus

It’s been a week since Remus and Leo started tailing Sirius. His life seemed pretty organized: He left the house around 9am, always followed by James Potter, his bodyguard. Then Sirius went to different meetings, each one lasted between one and three hours, after that he would drive back to the Black’s mansion and stay there for the rest of the day.

Today was different.

They had been following him all day. Nothing special had happened, and at night Remus wanted to drive back to his apartment already, when the main door opened again. Sirius and James stepped outside. 

Remus and Leo followed them to a nightclub.

“Okay, come with me.” Remus said and stepped out of his car. 

They went inside together and Remus looked around. The place was crowded. It would be easy to lose sight of their target here, but at least the possibility of being spotted was low. At least that’s what he’d thought.

“Can you see him?” Leo asked him.

He had to come close to Remus' ear, so he could hear him over the loud music.

Remus looked around, then shook his head.

“Let’s go up there, so we have a better view.” he said and led the way up the stairs.

It wasn’t hard to spot Sirius then: He was surrounded by people, all of them curious about the Black’s heir, but also too shy and intimidated to actually come too close to him. It was like he was a magnet, pulling people closer and pushing them away at the same time.

Remus looked at Leo, who had already seen Sirius.

“He’s the center of attention. Do you think he’s enjoying it?” Leo asked curiously.

Remus shrugged.

“Don’t know. Don’t care. Hey, would you get us something to drink? We’re way less suspicious with drinks in our hands.”

“Oui. Sure.” Leo nodded and went to the bar.

Remus watched him, then he glanced back at Sirius.

He was dressed more casual than Remus had seen him all week. He wore blue jeans, a Pink Floyd Band shirt, and a black leather jacket over it. And he looked good in it, Remus had to admit. Damn it. No. Don’t think about him like that, it’s just a damn job.

He talked to some girl, but it was too dark in here for Remus to see their lips, so he couldn’t tell what they were talking about. He could do lip reading, he wasn’t perfect at it, but it came in quite handy sometimes to know what someone was talking about roughly.

But from the girl's laughs, her hand on his arm and how she tried to come closer to him, Remus assumed they were flirting.

Leo came back a moment later, two drinks in his hands. He gave Remus one, then looked back at Black.

“Everyone’s talking about him downstairs. Seems like he comes here every Friday, the barkeeper told me.”

Remus smiled at him. That was useful information the blonde just told him there.

“Good job.”

“Merci.” Leo said, smiling to himself.

The boy learned fast. He took in every piece of information Remus gave him and tried to put it into practice immediately. And it worked.

Remus still wasn’t happy to have a partner for this mission, but Leo was  nice company to have and he was good at what he did, so at least Remus didn’t have to worry about failing this job.

He looked at James Potter, Sirius’ bodyguard. He was leaning on the bar, watching Sirius with an amused smile on his face. Remus found out he’d been Sirius’ bodyguard for a couple of years now. He had a wife, Lily Potter, and a 3-year-old son, Harry.

“I think they’re friends. James and Sirius.” Leo had said one day.

Remus had asked him what made him think so.

Leo shrugged.

“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling, I guess.”

And now Remus got the same feeling: He wouldn’t watch him with the same… happiness, if it were only a job. The two were friends.

Sirius took the girls’ hand, and the two started dancing in the middle of the dance floor. He was twirling her around, making her laugh, and everyone made room for them to dance. He knew how to move, that much was clear.

Remus kept watching him, his body language and his facial expression, as far as possible through the darkness. He seemed to be relaxed but still watchful, somehow reserved, like he couldn’t fully enjoy the intimacy.

Remus had this weird feeling in his stomach he couldn’t quite place. The next moment Sirius’ eyes landed on him. He looked him directly in the eyes. Remus heartbeat accelerated.

Shit.

He put his drink away and placed a hand on Leo’s arm.

“Let’s go. that’s enough for today.” he said and started moving through the people to the exit.

“Wait, shouldn’t we-” Leo started, but Remus interrupted him.

“I said, let’s go.”

---

He brought Leo home. They were both very quiet the whole way.

“Something’s wrong.” Leo stated finally, “He did see you.”

Remus sighed and turned the engine off, parking in front of Leo’s place. That kid was just too smart and observant.

“No, he didn’t. It’s not possible. There were hundreds of people. He could have looked at anyone.”

Remus knew it was a lie. He knew Sirius had looked at him and just at him.

He glanced at Leo for a second, then his eyes went back to the street. 

“Don’t worry. Everything’s fine. We just better keep a low profile. It was time for us to go.”

Leo nodded, still not fully convinced.

“Bonne nuit.” he said before he left the car.

Remus watched him enter the building, then started the car again. He took a deep breath. Everything was alright, there’s nothing endangering this mission.

Sirius

Sirius yawned. Shit. He shouldn’t have done that. His mother threw an angry glance at him.

“Do we bore you, son?” she asked him with an alarming tone in her voice.

Sirius sat up straighter and shook his head.

“No. Of course not. I’m just a bit exhausted, that’s all. I am sorry.” he swallowed.

He was sitting here for three hours now, his parents discussing some issue he didn’t really care about. Truth be told: He was bored immensely.

“Then I suggest you’re staying at home tonight and not going out like usual, if you’re so exhausted.” she said.

“No. I am good. I’m sorry.”

He was going out today, like he did every Friday. It was the only fun thing he did all week and there was nothing holding him back from it, not even his mother. She had forbidden it before, but Sirius just sneaked off, with James of course. He wouldn’t do anything without James. It would be just half the fun. 

So Sirius tried really hard to pay attention to his parents’ conversation and after another half an hour he finally was released.

“I’ll see you at dinner.” was all he said before he left.

He walked out of the room, followed by James immediately.

“You’re still alive.” James said, smirking.

“It’s a wonder, honestly. I almost died out of sheer boredom.”

“Oh, I bet.”

They drove home together, talking about nothing special. Lily wanted to spend the weekend with Harry at her parents’, but James couldn’t get the days off, so the mood at the Potter's house was rough right now.

“I told her to go without me, but she didn’t want to do that either. So now she’s angry at me. She says she isn’t, but… If looks could kill, I’m telling you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m talking to my parents, okay? Tell her you can go next weekend. I’ll arrange it.” Sirius felt bad for James. He didn’t spend enough time with his own family because of his job. His parents demanded that James was around all the time.

James nodded, but he didn’t look convinced.

“How is Harry?” Sirius asked to change the subject.

James' face lit up instantly.

“Oh, he’s growing so fast. You have to see him again, he asked for you actually just yesterday. He is missing you.”

Sirius smiled. He didn’t see Harry as often as he wished, but every minute they spent together was full of joy and laughter. This child was a real gem and Sirius enjoyed every moment with him.

“I will try to visit you soon. Promise.”

---

After a never ending dinner with his parents, Sirius was finally back in his room. He was staring at his wardrobe, thinking of what to wear tonight. He was happy to wear something other than button-down shirts. His mother always insisted on those. He picked out his favorite shirt; it was a Pink Floyd band shirt, and he loved it. He loved the music, the aesthetics and the fact that it’ll piss his mother off. He took his black leather jacket. It was buried in the depth of his wardrobe, so his parents didn’t find it. They didn’t approve of things like this, but he didn’t care. Tonight he was going to be himself and not the fucking heir. Fuck his parents. Fuck the consequences.

He slipped into the jacket and checked his appearance in the mirror. Yup, this will do.

Together with James, he drove to their favorite nightclub. The night was still young, but the club was already crowded, as always.

“Okay, let’s get us some drinks,” Sirius said.

“Can’t drink, I’m working, Pads.” James responded.

Sirius sighed.

“Well then, I’ll get me some drinks.” he shrugged and went to the bar.

They made their way through the crowd; which wasn’t hard considering that the people around them made space for him. He ordered a Gin and Tonic, then just watched. He enjoyed being around people when he could be himself and not the version his parents wanted to make of him.

He stood next to James, who scanned the crowd quickly for threats, but he seemed quite relaxed.

“that girl? he nodded in her direction, “she’s coming over in at least 3 minutes.”

“You wanna bet?” Sirius raised an eyebrow, mischief showing in his eyes.

James nodded.

“Sure. I’m winning anyway. So lunch tomorrow?” 

James held out his hand, and Sirius took it.

“You’re always so sure.”

“Because I’m usually right.”

A minute later the girl James had said walked over to him. She was good looking: dark short cut hair, a nose piercing and a cute smile.

“Hi.” she said “You’re Sirius, aren’t you?”

“That I am. And who are you?”

“I’m Amber.” she smiled at him.

Sirius glanced at James, who had a huge grin on his face.

“Told you so” he mouthed.

Sirius grinned and turned back to her.

“You know, I owe my friend over there lunch now, because of you.” he said bluntly.

She leaned her head to the side, eyes looking curious.

“Because of me? Why?”

“He said, you’d come over to talk to me any minute. And you did.”

Amber started laughing.

“Well, when there’s a celebrity showing up, you have to talk to him, don’t you agree?” she placed her hand on his arm.

Sirius laughed.

“I’m not a celebrity at all, but thanks. And yeah. I do agree on that. Do you want to dance?”

She nodded and took his hand, dragging him onto the dance floor.

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the music, letting it rush through him. Then they started dancing. It was easy with her, natural. She knew how to dance and he liked dancing with her. It was just… He was looking for something else tonight. Someone else. He danced with her for a long time nevertheless. It was fun and fun was what he wanted.

Sirius pulled Amber close again, his eyes drifting away from her up to the people standing upstairs. Something caught his eye, no, someone. A man standing there and watching him. Sirius made a turn with amber and when he looked back up the man was gone.

[the-iron-orchid]

BOOK II: THE HIGH PRIESTESS

Chapter 1: The Seer  (~2330 words)

Warnings: None

Back to table of contents

The landscape is desolate, a place of tawny sands and little else. The sky overhead is oppressive, thick with dark, lowering clouds. Where the two meet, the slim line of the horizon pulses with a viridian glow.

My arms hold fast to Asra’s waist, the scent of his hair in my nostrils. Beneath us, I feel the loping stride of a great beast, shaggy and immense. I realize that I must be dreaming... and in dreams, I have made contact.

“Mast -” I stop and swiftly correct myself. “Asra, where are we?” I ask him. It is only then that I notice the path of shining obsidian before us, snaking ahead to the horizon - clear, and yet ever-changing, its reflection of the sky above further confusing the perception.

Asra says that we are far enough away... but for what?

For answers, he says. For clarity. He senses a terrible storm on the horizon; something is changing, and not for the better.

I am instantly reminded of what the Countess said, her dream-visions of a terrible future, which must not come to pass.

Asra tells me that soon we will reach a crossroads, a nexus, a liminal place. He says that I will make a choice, one that changes everything for me... and for others. I feel his hands over mine, squeezing very briefly. But they are trembling, just a little, and he lets go hurriedly - as if the touch might burn him, or me, if held too long.

A chill wind rises around us, bearing the sands up with it in a vortex. It blots out first the landscape, then the horizon… then everything.

The last thing I hear is Asra’s voice: “Rest now, ya albi. I'll be back soon.”

---

I awaken to late morning sunlight slanting through the small windows - rather later than I wanted to sleep, but it seems that the previous night left me exhausted. I stumble into the kitchen, yawning, and rouse the stove salamander so that I might brew a pot of strong tea. He, too, needs to use his abilities regularly, lest they cause him trouble. If I am to be out, he should have a good round of exercise first.

Over my tea and a scone that has seen better days, I consider what I should bring with me to the Palace - a change of clothing, spell components, my current journal… I’m certain that they will be able to provide me with writing instruments...

It keeps my mind off of my strange dream, and its portents. For now.

Fortified with multiple cups of tea (the scone, not especially improved by toasting, was left out on the doorstep for the pigeons), I pack my things. The bag that Heron made for me is very special - it holds much, much more than it appears to. Then I set about readying the shop for my absence. I dust down the counters, and ensure that the stove salamander has a supply of coke to consume.

I go up to the rooftop to water my plants, such as they are. Heron has a lush rooftop garden that provides us both with herbs and vegetables year-round; I have a planter box full of pretty flowering weeds. But the basil is doing very well in its bucket, and the aloe in its large bowl. There is also a forgotten bean that started to sprout, now residing comfortably in an old mug with no handle. Hopefully I won’t be gone so long that they all wither in the midsummer sun… well, the aloe will survive, I am sure.

When I come back downstairs, I must turn away a few customers, hopeful for a reading. Everyone wants to know what the future holds. 

If only I could ask the Arcana about the past, everything that came before the last three years. Three years of struggle and pain, of learning to be an adult human all over again, after whatever accident or illness took that part of me forever… for the most part. Once in a while, a dim memory will float by, like a distant iceberg on the sea of my mind. To try and grasp such memories is to invite pain and terror, and so I let them go. 

But sometimes, there are things that I know or can do which I did not learn in the last three years with Asra and Heron. I must assume that these come from Before, written so far below the surface of my mind as to escape erasure. I dance fairly well, and I sing better than that. And while Asra and Heron are always cautious in how they teach me, I very often feel that the small, shallow pool of my magic bubbles up from something much deeper, an underground ocean in the caverns of my soul.

It is a place I cannot explore, not even with the seemingly unending patience and help of my teachers. When I have tried, it leaves me bedridden for days, my body unresponsive, my mind a maelstrom of vivid hallucinations. Giants, ghosts, talking animals… a deeper dimension to my relationship with Asra, which is almost certainly wishful thinking on my part.

They tell me that my power springs from something very fundamental and dangerous, the primordial Chaos that underlies creation. By the same token, Heron’s magic springs from the primordial force of Order, and Asra’s from a direct connection to the Magical Realms that lie beyond our own. Each of us is something different, and yet the same.

They both tell me that I’m making wonderful progress, that my power and ability will continue to grow; it simply is not a linear progression. Magic grows in fits and starts and flashes of understanding. 

I hope they are right.

As the day wears on, I must be on my way to the Palace. I thoroughly lock up the shop, tracing the wards on the doors (not that this seemed to help against last night’s intruder). As I am doing this, a sudden prickle down the back of my neck causes me to start in alarm - a huge shape has materialized at my side, seemingly from nowhere.

Eldritch energy immediately crackles around my left hand, but I rein it in - they are doing nothing in particular besides looming, so large that they block my access to the side alleyway entirely. Two glinting eyes watch me from within the depths of a rough hood of furs, draped over a massive body that is crossed again and again with ropy scars. 

I clear my throat. “Er, excuse me… I need to pass through there.”

For a moment, they simply continue to look at me. Then, they shift their weight, and start moving out of the way. There is a strange muffled clanking, as of chains.

“Thank you.” I nod curtly, settle my bag on my hip, and start walking past the large figure.

“He will return. Though uninvited.” The voice is deep, so deep it’s like the thunder of a waterfall. “He will offer you an escape when you need it most. Turn him down, or you will fall into his hand… just like the rest of us.”

I pause at this apparent prognostication. A teller of fortunes, I know a seer when I hear one.

“Take this, or my warning is for nothing.”

I turn back to the person, curious. The light just barely strikes two glimmers of green from within the hood. Pinched between the huge thumb and forefinger is a little leather pouch on a thin cord. Grudgingly, it seems, the figure holds it out to me. I reach a hand out, palm up, and they drop the item into it, as if unwilling to touch.

And without a further word, they turn and shuffle away. Oddly, no-one seems to take notice of the hooded figure, despite their immense size - normally, people would be gawking, pointing even.

How odd. I scrutinize the tiny bag in my palm with my magical sight. It radiates a faint aura of protective magics. I glance up again - but the figure is gone.

The pouch is well-sealed with complex warding knots, and the leather is inscribed with a sigil. Bringing it to my nose, I smell the warm, woody scent of myrrh resin.

Philosophically, I hang the little pouch around my neck. My magical sight shows nothing malicious in it… and I can use all the protection I can muster, I’m sure.

I step into the flow of traffic and noise as I cut my way through the bustling Market, but I hear little of it; I am lost in my own thoughts. Who is the he spoken of by the seer? Julian tried to give me some warning or other about Asra… but I’m not sure I credit that. He seems to have some personal vendetta. Julian himself, perhaps? What more warning could one need about a wanted criminal?

As I climb the steps that lead into the market plaza, a black shape catches my eye - it’s a large raven, perched on one of the lines of colorful lanterns that crisscross overhead. The bird looks back at me with one beady eye, blacker than my own, then croaks and turns its head. I, too, turn my head, following its gaze.

...and my heart stumbles and skips a beat as I spot Julian Devorak, walking through the crowd as if nothing at all is amiss, his face bare to the world... and unblemished. His temple shows no bruising, no hint of a wound where last night he bled.

He hasn’t seen me yet. Half of me wants to flee, but the other half is intensely curious as to how he can walk about so freely, a fugitive from the law. And how has he healed so quickly? 

It is this second half that sends me after him. 

Unfortunately, this means I must move against traffic, and I am not large. I also don’t want to form an obvious eddy in the crowd with my movements. Devorak is making his leisurely way along the market stalls, seemingly without a care in the world. Is he looking to get caught? Wanted posters litter the city, and between his height and that profile, it’s not like he is anonymous in any way. An eyepatch only distracts so much.

The raven gives a sudden shriek, and Devorak turns, our eyes locking for a frozen moment through the crowd.

And then a cart passes between us, causing me to step back involuntarily. When it is gone… so is he, vanished as if he had never been there at all.

I pause, traffic flowing around me, and wonder at my own actions. The man is a wanted criminal, maybe even a killer. Why on earth would I put myself in danger by following him around, no matter how curious I am? Shaking my head at myself, I rejoin the foot traffic, resuming my interrupted journey.

Maybe it was Julian that the giant of earlier was warning me about.

A voice cuts through my reverie, a voice I know. It’s Selasi, the baker, whose stall Asra and I often frequent - one of the small handful of merchants who seem unfazed by us. He asks if I’ve eaten, saying that there are spiced pumpkin loaves fresh out of the oven, almost cool enough to eat. He cajoles me to sit and talk with him in the meantime.

A pot of tea isn’t enough to fuel my day. My stomach rumbles to resentful life as the scent of the spiced bread reaches my nose.

“Well… I can’t stay long,” I tell him. “But I am starving!”

Selasi laughs and waves me to the back of the booth, where I seat myself up against the sun-warmed wall of the building behind.  An enormous orange fluff of a cat appears from under a table, and rubs itself against my side. Absently, I scratch it between the ears.

The baker offers me a steaming cup of tea, asking after Asra. 

“Oh, out on a journey again.”

“Of course! Where to this time?”

“I… don’t know, actually. He didn’t say.”

Selasi frowns slightly. “Really?”

“It seemed really important. Maybe it’s a secret.” I shrug, sipping my mint tea.

The baker folds his arms and shakes his head with a sigh. “Nothing new, I guess. Your Asra on a mysterious journey, that is. But what about you?”

I lift my brows. My Asra, indeed. “What about me?”

He grins widely. “They say that the Countess’s own carriage was spotted here in Center City, late in the night. You can’t miss it, not with all the escorts on horseback. Circling around not far from your shop, even.”

I do my best to cover over my surprise. Selasi loves gossip as much as he loves to bake, and maybe even more. It’s harmless, but I don’t know that the Countess wants her business all over the market.

“Really? I wonder what she was after?” My stomach chooses that moment to let out a long growl, and I laugh. “Me, I’m just after pumpkin bread. I’m a simple creature.”

Selasi laughs, throwing his head back. “Keep your secrets, then, just like your master.” He shakes his head and pulls a fresh loaf from the cooling racks. “One hot for now, and one cool for the road?” he asks, and I nod, giving the cat one last pat before rising and placing my empty cup aside.

Selasi wraps the loaves for me, and I hand over my coin. I place the cooled one into my endless bag before taking a big bite out of the warm loaf. The outer crust has a pleasing bite to it, the inside soft and fluffy, the spices fragrant. “Mmph! Delicioush azh alwayzh! ’ll zhee you lader!” I say around the mouthful of pumpkin bread, waving as I exit the booth.

“Don’t keep the Countess waiting!” he says, almost making me choke on my bite of bread.

I suppose it’s true what they say… the only thing that travels faster than magic is gossip.

[whattodowithkpop]

My love and the sea (Seongwha)

Title: My love and the sea

Paring: OC; Seongwha POV

Genre: Siren/Pirate AU; Spice

Word count: 1751

Writer: Kpopmadness (Ju)

Warnings: Mentions of blood

Summary: Seongwha has grown up on the sea. In many ways its the love of his life. But when he wakes up with The Black Spot, he feels his life turn upside down.

Waves lap against the ships sides, causing salt water to spray up into the boat and graze against a young captains face. His eyes holding love for the large ocean that lay before him.

He had spent most of his life at sea, and there were few things he loved more than the way the ocean rolled gently as it carried his ship. How its color went from a dark blue to a black color with the changing positions of the sun and moon.

"Are you looking for something, Captain?" A voice from behind him said.

Seongwha turned from his gazing and smiled at his first mate, "I was just getting some air. It gets stuffy down in the cabin."

His first mate nodded his head in understanding and joined him, standing at his side as they both looked out over the vast ocean

"You really love the seas, don't you?" Mingi said. Smiling at his captain.

Seongwha smiled sheepishly, looking down at his black leather boots as he contemplated how best to answer the question.

"I dreamed of owning my own ship and sailing the world since I was a mere boy." He explained. "I saved up for years to get the money and the respect to be where I am today. Even though I've been a captain for some three years, I never get tired of waking up to this kind of a view."

Mingi let out a quiet chuckle. Admiring his captains love for his ship and his hard work. Just as all his crewmates did.

The pair stood in silence for a few more minutes. Seongwha had forgotten Mingi was standing beside him until he cleared his throat nervously.

"I hate to bother you, Captain." Mingi said, turning to face him. "But there are some things inside that need your attention."

Seongwha let out a small sigh but let a smile fan across his lips. "Lead the way."

`````

Seongwha rubbed his tired eyes as he let out a sigh. He had poured over papers and maps for the past several hours. He was so distracted he had forgotten all about dinner and Mingi had to bring him his food.

Now he sat back in his desk chair and let the tense muscles in his shoulders relax one by one. His eyes growing heavy with exhaustion.

He was so tired that he was hardly even aware of his seemingly mechanical movements as he wandered down the halls to his bedroom. His eyelids growing even more heavy as he took his boots off and peeled off his shirt to climb into bed.

His mind drifted into a dream state, his body felt as though it were drifting, time being lost as the hour seemed to wash by him in a swirl.

But his dreams did not stay pleasant. They were filled with terrors that he had never seen before. The intensity of the nightmares making him breathe heavy and sweat roll down his spine. Making him feel chilled.

Then, there was nothing. Nothing except the soft sound of a lullaby being echoed through his head. He had never heard the song before. It was dark and strange, but beautiful.

Still in a dream state that he could not seem to break free of, Seongwha felt a gentle touch on his cheek as the lullaby continued, but softer. His body seemed to relax instantly to the touch, relishing it, craving it.

Then, it was gone; The song stopped, and sleep conquered him.

``````

The next morning was one of shock, and horror to Seongwha. He awoke feeling chilled, his hair sticking to his forehead in clumps. But it was when he raised to right hand to run his fingers through his sweaty hair that terror seized him.

There, on his palm, was a black and purple spot. All the sailors knew it to be known as The Black Spot. A call to judgement and a time of repentance before justice was delivered.

The morning only got worse when Mingi saw it. Seongwha, in a fearful endeavor, had tried to hide it by wrapping the spot with a bandage. To play it off as a minor injury. But when Mingi saw it his face drained of color and his eyes glazed over as if he were about to pass out. The panic had only spread to the rest of the crew by mid-afternoon.

By later that night Seongwha was exhausted. He was tired of looking over his shoulder and having others take several steps away from him in fear. The black spot had caused him more grief than he wanted. So he went to the one place that always cleared his head.

As he stood on the deck of his ship he felt his heartbeat come down several beats. The salt air and the full view of the stars soothing him.

Seongwha hadn't been on the deck long when his ears pricked up to the sound of singing. It was the same soft tune he heard the night before. It had left his brain in a sort of fog ever since. Never leaving him mind fully.

"Hello sailor." A gentle voice said from behind him.

Seongwha turned to see one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen. Her long dark hair cascading down in silky locks. Her white dress shining in the moonlight.

"I... I know you." Seongwha said, his voice seeming distant in his own mind. "You were in my cabin. You sang to me."

The girl smiles devilishly and lets out a small laugh. "Yes, I suppose I was there. And I think you know why."

Seongwha gulps nervously and unties the bandage from around his palm, letting the black and purple spot on his hand shine in the moonlight.

"Because of this." He assumes.

She smiles at him. It was a crooked, odd smile. But somehow it was so loving and almost contagious. It made Seongwha's lips tug up slightly, though he wasn't sure why.

"Yes, that." She says.

"Does that mean you've come to kill me?" Seongwha asks. Feeling puzzled at the way his own heart skips a beat at the thought of dying by the hands of this beautiful creature.

It wasn't that he didn't know who, or what she was. His father had taught him about the dangers of a siren since he was young. How they lived in the seas but some had the ability to change and walk on land effortlessly. But seeing one in person, hearing their song and seeing their beauty, made him forget everything his father had ever warned him about.

She laughs at him, stepping a little closer. Her white gown fluttering behind her as she walked.

"It's not like that at all." She says, still smiling at him.

"It's not?" Seongwha says, feeling his own feet move toward her.

"Of course not." She coos softly. "Think of it as, a calling. You love the ocean, don't you?"

By now Seongwha was close enough to her to feel her breath on his neck. The pads of her fingers tracing along the buttons of his shirt. Making his heart race. He nods in response, his voice refusing to come to him.

"Have you ever wondered what lies beneath the surface of the ocean?" She asked, smiling up at him. "You've traveled the surface for most of your life. Don't you think it's time you saw what lies beneath?"

Seongwha managed to look away from her captivating eyes and across the dark ocean that stretched in front of them. He had swam in the ocean before, but this pull was different. It was stronger. A desire to breath in the salt water. To feel it fill every part of his lungs and body until no more of it could fill him.

She took his face in her hands, her touch sending a thrill up his spine. And when her lips met his Seongwha couldn't help but lean down slightly to deepen the kiss greedily. Every part of his body seemed to catch on fire, lust overpowering him.

She tugs at his lips roughly with her teeth before pulling away from him, a smirk lining her lips. She takes his hands in hers and sits down on the railing of the boat. The water surging beneath her

Seongwha leans back in to kiss her, only to have her put a finger to his lips. "We can continue that after we get in the water."

Seongwha looks down at the waves beneath him, suddenly feeling a wave of nervousness hit him. Seeming to sense it, she runs her fingers through his hair as she softly hums the same tune had heard the night before. Making his heart immediately calm down and his eyes close.

She swings her legs over the side of the boat, looking behind her to see him staring at her.

"Coming?" She asks, her eyes shining with glee in the moonlight.

Seongwha grips the rail tightly, looking down at the ocean below. He starts to swing his leg over the rail to join her when a loud bang echos through the night. Making him jump back and land on the deck.

He watches as the siren falls off the edge of the boat's railing. Her eyes closing as red soaks the back of her white gown and a fresh spot begins to coat her chest. Her body disappearing into the depths of the sea

"Captain, are you hurt?" Mingi says, putting his gun away to help Seongwha up. His legs shaky and his head foggy.

Seongwha can't answer for a few seconds. His mind spinning and his thoughts jumbled. He looks down at his palm to see the black spot gone. The skin of his palm normal.

"I went to check on you in your cabin and came looking for you when you weren't there." Mingi explains. "It didn't occur to me until a moment ago that we had entered the Siren's territory. That's why you got the black spot. It was a sign that a siren would be coming for you."

Seongwha lets out a nervous laugh, feeling relief wash through him, but also a bit of fear. "If you hadn't figured that out, I would have been dead."

Mingi smiles, "Isn't that the job of a first mate? To have his captain's back."

Seongwha smiles, letting his eyes go back to the ocean. A chuckle escaping his chest. "I suppose it is."

[hopeswriting]

Modern AU (Adult!)Arcobaleno on socials media though. While Flames and mafia are definitely still a thing.

Now I’m by no means well acquainted to all the different popular socials media, but here’s my humble take:

Reborn on Instagram.

He only has pictures of Leon first and foremost, with him in the background in one of his ridiculous but very well-made cosplay. Leon of course also wears the same cosplay as him.

He never shows his full face in any of the pictures, but just enough his followers know he’s handsome as fuck.

The artists/photoshoppers among them regularly put the pieces together to see how he could look like, but in a funny-and-obviously-purposefully-wrong way only.

Reborn loves them and saves them all.

------

Once in a blue moon he does post a picture of himself where you can see him clearly all dressed up and fancy, and then immediately deletes it.

But only after he’s sure it has been seen, so he can watch his followers lose their shit while drinking a nice espresso.

They try hard, but so far none of them managed to save any of the pictures before he deletes them.

------

Often there’s what suspiciously looks like blood stains on their clothes and straight up dead bodies lying in the background, but Reborn went so passive-aggressive with the few who dared to ask, everyone is too afraid to ask now.

Anyone who badmouths Leon in any way is instantly blocked. But only after Reborn ripped them a new one AND let his followers do it too.

*

Skull on Twitter and Snapchat.

He tweets the most random, out of nowhere, highly worrying things, that always sent his followers in a frenzy trying to figure out why the fuck he would think of any of this in the first place??

“aren’t you ever tried of your solid, rigid, restrictive bones? don’t you want to just be Luffy from One Piece, a rubber being that can shape themself in whatever way they wish?”

or:

“nobody ever tells you this, but the stress of picking apart melted leather from your burnt skin before it heals is VERY worth the adrenaline of making fire your BITCH”

or:

“is it REALLY illegal if you break in and eat the food but leave money behind??”

------

That’s just his Twitter only followers though.

The ones on Snapchat have the privilege to watch him stumble head first step by step to his tweets, and are actually very involved and active spectators that keep him out of jail, or killing himself, or killing someone else.

Skull, recording a video, halfway stuck in between two buildings: What’s up guys, there're these guys following me and trying to kill me, quick tell me what bones to break so I can fit in there.

see also:

Skull, riding his bike, both of them suspiciously wet, holding a lighter in his hand: You guys ready for this sick fire stunt I came up with?? If everything goes well I should only get second to third degree burns, let’s do this!!!

see also:

A picture of Skull lying on a roof, his arms full of snacks and his mouth stuffed with food, with police cars in the background, that says: send tips to make sure there’s always food in your fridge for when you need it the most. #midnightsnack #snitchesgetstitches #justsaying

see also:

A picture of Skull crouched in front of a body, posing, that says: don’t worry guys we’re just faking, but hypothetically, if you were to hide a body as quick as possible from here without being seen, what would you do? #hypotheticallyseriousanswersonly #hypotheticallythecopsaremaybeontheirway #quickanswersappreciated

*

Verde on Facebook.

He creates a public group with only him as member that’s basically his scientific diary.

It’s not really to invite intellectual challenging debates (though he’d be all for it if someone smart enough showed up), but he figures it’s in his best interest to make the world a less dumb place if he can.

It finds his public, though there’s only a few comments because god forbid you say something dumb or inaccurate and Verde fucking annihilates you in the comment section.

But like, in a teacher way. Like he’s genuinely trying to make you know better but he’s just ruthless at it lmao.

Verde uses a fake name and a fake everything so there’s quickly a running joke along the lines of “Imagine if it’s really the genius scientist Verde running the group and you just outed yourself as a flat earther lol”.

------

But what gets the group really popular is the in depth flames theory involving weather of all things they have to assume he came up with it all on his own because they can’t figure out to save their lives what the hell he’s talking about?

And it makes them question their sanity sometimes because Verde talks about it like it’s the most obvious thing and in the context of just about every basic aspects of life.

Cue the conspirators and their hot new take of “the aliens were among us all along and hid themselves as the WEATHER!!!” that instantly turns into the new popular meme.

That, and the transcripts posts of Verde trying his theories that nine out of ten apparently involves very unwilling participants whose life are threatened and sometimes they straight up DIE???

------

They think both of these is just him fucking with them and it’s all fictional. They want to think it is anyway.

They’re not so sure, but everyone is too afraid to ask.

*

Colonnello on Snapchat.

70% of his content is about Lal because this man is so in love and it’s like he’s a guest on his own account lol.

There’s the “Pining Hard” content where it’s just him trying to seduce Lal, to romance her and asking her out, and Lal brushing all of it off more often than not.

His followers are very invested in this “old bickering married couple type of best friends in oblivious mutual pining” real live action slow burn fic, and cheers him hard whenever Lal reciprocates the tiniest bit.

------

They don’t know the two are already together.

They think Lal brushing him off or flirting back but in an unmistakably joking/”platonic” way is just her being oblivious and not taking Colonnello seriously.

When she would just rather flirt back off camera because it’s her private life thank you very much.

Colonnello never tells them because he assumes they all know and just choose to be in on the joke.

Lal finds it hilarious whenever she goes through his Snapchat (with his permission of course) to find numerous messages of encouragement, so she never says either.

------

But one day she kind of just steals a kiss from him while he’s recording because she wanted to, and his followers lose their shit.

Lal laughs herself to tears and laughs for days.

------

The other Lal’s related content is the “Lal’s loving hours”, where he just takes pictures of her/records her doing random shit---whether it's her making a disaster out of the kitchen, or wearing three pairs of socks because her feet are cold, or beating the shit out of someone---and him doing heart eyes at the camera.

------

Otherwise it’s just him living his life and letting them in on what happens.

There’s a lot of pictures because he’s handsome and he knows it and he likes the compliments aqsdfghj.

Or videos of him going on and on about how energy drinks are really the best drink ever while doing grocery.

Or ranting videos about how bullets wounds are such a pain to deal with and showing himself patching himself up to show how it’s done (thanks??!!??).

Or him watching series and roasting the characters for their dumb decisions.

Or him commenting in real time an assassination attempt on him in the middle of the night in his own fucking home because the fucker sure is ballsy (????!!!!!!???).

It’s very popular too because of how relatable it is.

Well, most of the time anyway.

*

Viper on Youtube.

They have a DIY type of channel, mostly about fashion---what they think about the new products/clothes they bought from their favorite brand, their thoughts on the new fashion trend, their makeup/skin care routine and favorite outfits for various circumstances, or they’re often on live while going shopping.

(I just really like Fashionista!Viper okay.)

They play videos games too, thinking they’re being very good while being very average to not say they straight up suck asdfghj.

Occasionally do reaction videos too.

------

Like Reborn they hardly ever show their face. Actually they don’t show it at all lol. They wear masks to do their videos because a hood is not very reliable.

How do they do their makeup videos then you ask?

They use "volunteer" as models of course.

And by volunteers I mean the Varia qsdftgyhjkl.

------

They also have another very peculiar brand of videos that is the most popular one on their channel. The titles of these videos include but are not limited to:

“A Due Payment Of Yours Is Late? How To Hunt Them For Sport”

“A Little Bitch Doesn’t Respect Your Pronouns/Chosen Name? Step By Step On How To Make Them Shut The Fuck Up Forever”

“How To Efficiently Remove Blood And Various Others Human Residue From Your Clothes”

“Faking Your Death And Taking On A New Identity: Step By Step Tutorial”

“How To Take Over Your Friends Brains And Watch Them Prank Themselves ft. The Varia”

*

Fon on Tumblr.

His blog becomes known as a shitpost blog or a blog run by a bot when really, everything he posts is about actual, very real events that happened in his life.

Except he vague posts every time because he really wants to keep his anonymity.

He posts about the hardships of learning more and more martial arts and staying at the top of the art, and sounds like some dangerous psychopath.

“The body is such a fragile thing, isn’t it? It tends to break quite easily unfortunately. You’d think I’d know that by then, but I really need to remember it more often so I can keep enjoying myself.”

He’s talking about how he always pushes himself too much in training and ends up injuring himself.

“Everyday I dispose of them and reasserts my superiority, and everyday they come back and it’s really hard to not hurt them beyond repair.”

He’s talking about how he’s often challenged by other martial artists who don’t like him being the best and how he always has to beat them up bloody for them to give up.

He also posts about his family's live except it’s the Hibari’s family live, and he doesn’t sound more sane of mind at all.

“I made the mistake of taking Kyo with me on my grocery trip and picked on his tell-tale signs of going through a bad day too late.

But fortunately the shop is still standing and no one was heavily injured.”

or:

“It’s so heartwarming to see Kyo make friends. The brown haired kid didn’t put much of a fight but the one with the pineapple haircut has potential.

He almost managed to stab him that one time, and I can’t wait to tease Kyo about it. He’s very cute when annoyed and embarrassed.”

or:

“Often I look back to the day Kyo got his tonfa and I am always infinitely grateful for this not-so-easy-to-kill-with weapon.

I would like for him to at least finish high school first.”

Yeah it’s very often about Kyoya lmao. And no one knows for sure what in the world a “Kyo” is supposed to be???

An actual human being is NOT the most popular theory qsdfghn.

*

Lal on TikTok.

I guess?? I’m kind of running out of ideas lol, and I know very little about TikTok.

But I’m thinking she makes a series of videos where she looks straight into the camera like she’s on The Office while some bullshit or the other happens in the background.

And it’s not even always her friends or coworkers or Colonnello (yeah he has a category of his own lmao).

As far as she is concerned everyone who chooses to be a fucking dumbass in her vicinity is asking for it aqsdfghj.

------

Also has a “Doing paperwork” series, and the later at night she’s doing it, the more she’s absolutely fucking done with people not being able to do their job properly without collateral damage.

She dryly reads out loud the highlights of the reports and goes straight for their lives lol.

But as funny as it is, everyone is more interested in the very questionable out of context content of these reports???

------

Also does workout videos, as in she demonstrates how to do this one or other exercise, and if these do particularly well it has nothing to do with how people want to look respectfully at her body, of course not.

ALSO has a “Colonnello’s Loving Hours” series because you better believe this woman is also so much in love.

She records him when he’s simply existing---whether he’s snuggling besides her while they’re watching TV, or dancing in the kitchen while cooking, or cleaning his guns---while looking at the camera with this tender, content expression on her face.

*

They become known as the Weather Lovers because boy, do these people like to go on about their favorite weather. Some shipping might even be involved??

It’s how their community introduces them to each other.

Cue even more chaos on their respective socials medias.

Viper’s video of their first meeting is the most popular one on their channel.

*

Yeah I know, I didn’t add the Sky Arco ladies, but I have no idea what they could do. Pinterest maybe? Or Vine? Dunno, they’re all yours guys lol.

[anotheronechicagobog]

Functional Dysfunction - Rheese - Chapter 1

written by @anotheronechicagobog​

A/N: This is a new series I’ve been trying to work on and I’m so happy that I’m finally done the first chapter! It’s IMPORTANT to note that this the fic I took a survey for a while back so; Sarah Reese has a double specialty of ED and Neuro. Also, it’s a bit AU so be prepared for that. 

Warnings: swearing, vomit, unplanned pregnancy, talk of abortion

The waiting room was a decent size, but she still felt small. Surrounded by medical diagrams and leather couches, and pregnant women, and pregnant women with children. She felt completely out of depth and she was finding it hard to breathe. Her tunnel vision was only broken when the nurse called her name. The older woman smiled at her obvious nerves and Sarah was instantly relieved, not because of the woman’s assuring demeanour, but because she knew that if she had gone to a doctor at MED instead of Planned Parenthood, she would have instead been met with shock, judgement, and awaiting a comment from Doris.

“Dr. Singh will be with you in a few minutes.”

“Thank you.”

So Sarah laid back on the examination table in the flimsy blue paper gown with her unmentionables in the breeze, because of course, Sarah found herself in a situation where she’d need a transvaginal ultrasound instead of a pap smear. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, trying to calm herself down.

“Ms. Reese?”

“Hi.”

“Hello, I’m Dr. Singh. You believe you’re pregnant?”

“Yes, I took two home tests, I’ve been nauseous but only between two and four in the afternoon and one and four in the morning, I missed my period, I’ve been fatigued, and my breasts have been sore. And it’s... Uh, it’s Dr. Reese, actually.”

“Okay, then. Are you in your residency?”

“Halfway through my second year.”

“So you know how this works then.”

“Yes.”

“Did you bring any support? We have counsellors and resources you can use. Your mental and emotional wellbeing is just as important as your physical health.”

“I’m fine. I just want to get the pregnancy confirmed and then book an abortion. I’m in my second year of residency, the father was a one night stand, and my main source of income comes from my mother who would not approve of me having a baby out of wedlock.”

“I completely understand. Med school was hard enough for me without pregnancy and then a baby. We’re still going to have a counsellor talk to you about it beforehand, make sure that you’re making the decision for you and not for anyone else.”

“Alright, I guess.”

“Well, let’s get started, shall we?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah was right, she was pregnant. She wasn’t surprised and it didn’t change how she felt. So when she walked into her next shift she didn’t expect a concerned Maggie to approach her. “Hey Sarah, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Maggie, why? Did something happen that I don’t know about?”

“You’re pale, you haven’t been eating much lately, and you’ve been more tired lately. What’s going on Reese, are you sick? You can talk to Goodwin and she’ll give you time off.”

“I’m grateful that you’re worried about me Maggie, but I’m not sick or anything, I promise. It’s just stress.” Sarah tried and failed to tell herself that she wasn’t technically lying, but pushed that thought to the back of her mind and took in Maggie’s disbelieving demeanour.

“If you’re sure...”

“I am.” Maggie gave her a look that clearly said ‘I don’t think you’re telling the truth but your lie is plausible so I’m letting it go for now’ as she exited the doctor’s lounge, leaving Sarah alone. She took a deep breath as she put her stuff in her locker before grabbing a clean pair of scrubs. After she’d changed into them she looked into the full mirror of the dressing room, staring herself down. She willed against herself not to do it and lost. She turned to the side and placed her hands over her abdomen. She knew that the fetus inside of her was tiny, the size of a sesame seed, but... She didn’t know what she was doing, truthfully. So she shook her head and squared her shoulders before tying her hair back and walking up to the nurses’ station. “What have you got for me, Maggie?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Andrew Pierson was seventeen and optimistic, something that both she and Rhodes admired. It made their daily rounds and checkups much easier. On most days they both went at the same time so that both departments were able to get first-hand results and to prevent miscommunication. The only problem was that they were always at 3:30 pm, smack dab in the one-hour afternoon window of Sarah’s ‘morning’ sickness. She did her best to quell it in advance; ginger tea, fresh air, mindful of what she’d had for lunch, and she was always drinking water. Sometimes though, like today, morning sickness couldn’t be quelled or repressed. She and Rhodes were discussing Andrew’s latest brain scan and what his injury meant for a valve replacement, when it reared its ugly head like never before. The bile was rising up her throat, fast and hot. She stopped talking in the middle of her sentence, drawing attention from her colleague and her patient. She didn’t register dropping her tablet. She darted into the adjoining bathroom and emptied the little liquid she had in her stomach. Even after it was all out she had to sit there dry-heaving. The burning discomfort in her throat didn’t bother her like it used to, and the painful twisting in her stomach annoyed her more than anything else at this point. When the hellish nausea finally passed she was able to register that she wasn’t alone. Rhodes stood behind her, holding her hair back for her. She turned to look at him and he clearly felt unbelievably awkward, like her, but she did see worry clearly on display behind his eyes. “What’s going on, Reese? You’ve been sick all week.” She hastily got on her feet, only for Rhodes to have to steady her when her balance wavered and mind spun from doing it too fast. After she was okay enough that Rhodes could let go, she warily made her way to the sink to rinse her mouth, only to find that there was some vomit on the edges of her lips and chin, only furthering her embarrassment as Rhodes tried to make eye contact in the mirror.

“It’s nothing-”

“Okay, stop. This is not nothing, you don’t think I’ve noticed how pale and nauseous you get every day? I may have my head wrapped around for too much but I’m not an idiot. Not to mention, you literally just dropped our patient’s brain scans to vomit. You are not fine, actually, you know what? Let’s just go down to the ED, get you checked out-”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Reese, these are continual symptoms, they could be the sign of-”

“I’m pregnant.”

“... Oh.” Sarah bit out harshly, turned the water off, and left the bathroom, leaving Rhodes standing by the toilet, as she blinked back tears. The look in his eyes, the acknowledgement, the pity. She picked up her, thankfully undamaged tablet, as a demure Dr. Rhodes came to stand beside her again. “I’m very sorry Mr. Pierson, I think I ate some bad sushi yesterday. Let’s just finish our appointment and then we can get you started on your new preparation plan so that you’re ready for surgery, okay?”

“Sounds good, and I hope you feel better soon, doc.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Rhodes had spent the remainder of Andrew’s appointment standing beside her clearly shocked and somewhat muted. When they both left though, he steered her into the closest conference room he could find. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am, now if you’ll excuse me I have other patients that need my care-”

“What about you? Who’s caring for you? You’ve been really sick, and although pregnancy explains it, it doesn’t change the fact that you have concerning symptoms or that Maggie is one bathroom trip away from admitting you into the hospital herself. Because I haven’t heard anything about you in any of the gossip I’m going to assume that you haven’t told many, if any at all, people here. So is there anyone who knows? Anyone who can help you out? And what about the father? I mean you’re pregnant, you’re going to have a baby. Have you spoken to Goodwin yet? She’ll work with everyone to make sure that you’ve got everything you need-”

“Okay, stop! No one knows and I want to keep it that way. I’m not... I’m getting an abortion. And I just...” Sarah took a deep breath as she blinked her tears away. Not now, not at work, not in front of Dr. Rhodes.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” He stood there awkwardly, his arms hovering around her form, unsure of whether he should embrace her or not. Sarah shrugged his hand away and took a few controlled breaths. “I won’t tell anyone, but, does anybody know? And I don’t mean from work, I mean in general, do you have someone to talk to about this? Or take you to and from the procedure?”

“No but it’s fine, I’ll just call a cab after.”

“What if something goes wrong during the procedure, who are they going to call? You have to list an emergency contact.”

“I’ll be fine, everything will be fine.” Sarah took a steadying breath as she tried to quell her morning sickness, again, and stop her body from shaking. “Are you trying to reassure me? Or yourself?” Sarah honestly didn’t have an answer for that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah cursed herself constantly over the fifteen-minute drive it took to get to Molly’s. Not only did she reveal a pretty damning secret to one of the hospital’s top surgeons, but she hadn’t been able to get out of going to the bar with the rest of the ED staff. And since Molly’s was a firefighter bar, owned by a few members of the 51st firehouse, the father of her child was most likely going to be there. She sat in her car, trying not to let the dread fill her as she stared at the ornate door of what was now her least favourite bar, not that she enjoyed drinking enough to have a favourite. She took the seat next to Maggie and tried to join in on the laughter that was being shared amongst her colleagues. But she couldn’t, she felt hot and cold all over, her breathing was tense, her chest was constricted, and her smile didn’t quite meet her eyes. The fact that Jimmy Borrelli, the father of the unborn child inside of her that he didn’t even know about, was staring at her with familiar lust-filled eyes, and that Connor Rhodes, currently the only person who knew about her pregnancy, just entered and looked at her with a mix of shock, horror, and concern, did absolutely nothing to help with her stress or her pregnancy symptoms. Rhodes made his way over to the table with a guarded look on his face. “Hey guys, how about I get the next round?”

“You’re not new anymore Rhodes, we know you’re not a complete stuck up ass, you don’t have to keep trying to bribe us.”

“Thanks for your words of kindness, Halstead, but this isn’t bribery, this is me offering beer.”

“... Fair enough, man. I think we’re all up for it.”

“Great, hey Reese, would you mind helping me carry it all over?” The meaningful look Rhodes sent made it clear he was using this as an excuse to talk to her away from their co-workers. “Sure.” She tried to sound chipper as she hopped out of her seat, but her voice was tired and it cracked partway through the word. Rhodes visibly frowned and Sarah could feel the concerned stares from her co-workers. They walked to the counter and nodded at Hermann, ready to wait until he was available. “I know that you’re... ‘Cancelling your subscription’,” he spoke lowly, mindful of all the ears around them and how fast gossip flourished among the groups present, “but you still, you know, have it. Should you be drinking?”

“I’m not. I’ve missed too many get-togethers and because of my, uh ‘binge-watching’. People, Maggie in particular are getting suspicious. And honestly, even though I’m ‘cancelling my subscription’, I can’t bring myself to do anything to harm... You know. I, uh, I don’t even drink, really.”

“Yeah, I know. Is there anything else I can get you, then?” Sarah shook her head even though her stomach had turned on her and was eating itself. The bodily organ betrayed her, making an audible growl that could be heard above the music bursting out of the speaker directly above them and the loud mixture of conversations that made nearly everything inaudible. He raised his eyebrow as she scolded herself internally and tried to ignore the warmth creeping up to her cheeks at his bemused expression. “You sure about that? How about some food? I hear that Mills has taken up working the kitchen here, the food should be good.”

“The food is great! And I’m not just saying that because I own that place.” Sarah jumped at Hermann’s voice, not knowing he’d gotten back to them.

“Would you mind showing me a menu then, Hermann? I won’t turn down free food.” Sarah nodded her head at the man standing next to her with a slight smile on her face, feeling better than she had all day if she was being honest. “Oh, is the good doctor buying again?”

“Yes I am, which reminds me, three pitchers of Coors please, and-”

“Spaghetti and meatballs.”

“And spaghetti and meatballs, please.”

“You got it. Here’s your beer, glasses for everyone, and your food’ll be brought over to you when it’s done.”

“Great.”

“And Reese?”

“Yeah?”

“Give us a good review, will ya? We could use all the help we can get to gain some traction for the kitchen.”

“You got it.”

Sarah eyed the tower of glasses she had in her right hand, concentrating far more than necessary if she was being honest, to make sure that she didn’t drop them. When Sarah set the glasses and full pitcher down she took the opportunity to look around the tables at her colleagues. Everyone had gone back to their conversations, and weren’t regarding her with caution, except for Maggie and Manning. They shared a look with each other, then her. “I’m fine, promise.” They shared another look with each other before discreetly taking her hands into theirs. “We don’t believe you.”

[awkenorslumped]

who lied to you ?

    Importance of the Spiritual Journey, universal signs and the unexpected!

As Summer Walker once said The spiritual journey isn’t about the astethic of crystals or the ideal that people have created to make it a fetish on social media. The true meaning of the spiritual journey as Summer Walker said its about the ability to take accountability for the choices one makes that affect their lives . Its about accepting who you truly are inside to show on the outside, Literally living in your true form not caring for the validation of others.

 Many think the Spirituality is about the crystals or the “witching”, the burning of sage and manifestation.  Take in mind that manifestation does play a part into it but there is much more depth. On your journey the importance is acknowledging that its about connecting deep to your inner self.   The path is for you to really get to know yourself the true depth of who you are. Connecting to yourself through meditation means having a place where you feel safe and serene to focus your mind on yourself to analyze stuff within you that you can’t make a connection to why things happen to you in life. Connecting the subconscious to the conscious to make yourself whole.

 I believe that before we’re born into the human realm we live in our spiritual homes before we’re meant to save those who we feel need help remembering who they truly are. I feel when we dream we are actually transporting back to our TRUE homes and forms.  Scientist and the government are aware but they fear that when we realize it they can’t control it. They do research to figure out how to weaponize the ability and for complete control.  Starseeds, Ascendants , Reiki Masters, The spiritually attuned etc are the people who are reincarnated to help break the cycle of control. The attuned don’t live for materialistic things they admire it but its never a true need, they don’t hold true value to the soul. 

 The journey is complex because you have to really really focus on yourself the past, the trauma , the fear and self doubt.  Once you’ve overcome or can accept those your eyes will be open to the propaganda and the actual things happening in the world. Nothing will surprise you. 

 All those horror movies , sci fy movies where do you think the ideas come from ? Its not a coincidence its stuff that has happened before. They are signs and information in plain sight its for you to see the true info over what they put into distract you. The government has the goal to control the world for greed and power, while possibly some higher beings want to test us or sort us out from the true of heart to the wicked of heart. There is no good without a little bad, no light without dark and that goes for ourselves , the government and the higher beings some of us haven’t met yet.

 We’re able to tell when we encounter others like us , we connect with them instantly they match our full energy potential without of dimming it. The goosebumps you get when you feel an eerie presence or feel your in the wrong place. That gut feeling that something is wrong is your subconscious telling you that a higher being that is most likely malicious or want to control you for a pet for their own amusement.  The higher beings that observe us as entertainment are the ones who are in contact and work with the government for their desire of entertainment. The higher beings have been around longer than we have and seen many things also are more advance, they could give us the tools for world peace but they don’t instead they feed us info for world domination and destruction for pure laughter. The reptilians enjoy destruction because they feel they are superior to the pure of heart . To be fair there is a balance so what makes people think the universe wouldn’t have a balance between alien races ? 

Lets bring you back to earth for a second, we humans HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA OF ALL THE CREATURES THAT LIVE HERE ! We’ve barely made a dent in prehistoric creatures. But lets take a dive down this bunny whole, If the earth we live on has been around for billions of years and has all these layers why the fuck would we assume we would know all the creatures and beings that have lived here before us ? Mythical creatures were & are real. Sea beings and creatures are real. Why is it hard to accept that there are legitimate things we know nothing us. But instead we humans want to prove we’re smarter beings? The joke is on everyone that believes that with their entire being. Honestly you have to be narcissitic to find that to be a true statement. How can we humans know everything about something that’s been around longer than us just because we dug through a small layer and found some bones. WE CAN’T EVEN GO TO THE TRUE DEPTH OF THE OCEAN SO HOW WOULD WE KNOW ALL THE SPECIES AND HUMANOIDS THAT CALL THE OCEAN HOME?? MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE! Scientist believe because they have a phd or doctorate that they are geniuses and make minor discoveries ? Its not a major discovery when most people are like we knew that already because we know there are other beings and species out there. You can’t fool the awaken ok, we have woken up because we were meant to. Shifts are happening and whatever deal was made could be coming to and end soon because the government is fucking up. Or hear me out the true form of the deal is coming where the humans who aren’t awake will never awake and will be under the control of the reptilians and the people in the government who work with them . But little do they know that the reptilians will in fact double cross them. Why, you ask? Simply the reptilians are smart, mischievous and  clever but not too smart that they can’t be overcame. Typing this up I feel goosebumps why cause im aware im being watched I’ve acknowledged things im not meant to be aware of . Also because im writing this with all intentions of exposing what needs to be brought to light.  Religion is a TOOL USED TO HAVE ALL OUR MINDS FOCUS ON ONE BEING THEY TOLD US WAS ALL MIGHTY BUT IN REALITY ITS THE REPTILIANS WHO CAME WITH THAT PLOT. BY BELIEVING IN ONE MIGHTY BEING YOU WILL BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT POWER SAYS AND WILL NOT SECOND GUESS THEM. HELLO THE CONSTITUTION HAS THE SAME STRUCTURE HAS THE 10 COMMANDMENTS IN THE BIBLE. WHY??!? WHY HAVE LAWS THAT YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW UNQUESTIONED JUST LIKE THE 10 COMMANDMENTS YOUR EXPECTED TO FOLLOW IF YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH JESUS IN HEAVEN. Riddle me this why would Jesus who is suppose to be forgiving and loving turn his back on you for not following rules he made? He gave us free will so why would he forsake us if we don’t follow his rules. ALSO WHY WOULD HE ASK A FOLLOWER TO KILL HIS ONLY SON?!?! That there gave it away that religion as made as a secondary form of government to make people obedient and further help the reptilians plot for control of humans. Have the humans do your dirty work while you give them information or false information to complete your task while you sit back relax watch and wait until its almost completed and they come to take reign .ONCE you realize what done and try to rebel you get wiped out and they try again. Many planets many chances to complete a goal. ALSO all those people who’ve exposed the truth were killed because the people who don’t want the revolution are instructed to keep the secret by any means necessary. How come the Egyptians, the mayan , aztecs, Atlantans had contact with humanoids that helped them advance their ENTIRE civilizations, yet the government has know about “aliens” been in contact with them yet our civilization hasn’t advance . Shouldn’t that there tell you the humanoids they are in contact with aren’t here to actually help us. The world needs to open their eyes and see the truth. 

     If you think I’m crazy then explain why they haven’t found a single bone from the mayan civilization of the people who lived there, why can’t we explain atlantis, why is it that  all these advance civilizations just go missing , not as though their city was rampaged but left in tact in one piece but the people left. NO THEY WERE SAVED BY THEIR ANCESTORS OF THE TRUE OF HEART BEFORE THE REPTILIANS TRIED TO DESTROY THEM. 

WAKE UP, OPEN YOUR EYES, CONNECT YOUR MIND AND SOUL. SAVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU MISS THE SAVING SHIP.