#incorrect hera

[fuck-yeah-mythology]

Persephone: im a trashbin

Hades: aw, dont say that

Persephone: because im a trash for you

Hades, tearing up: iloveyou

[meanwhile]

Hera: im a trashbin

Zeus: yeah, im aware

[death-and-flowers]

Hera: I've been thinking of you.

Zeus: Awww.

Hera: It's ruined my day.

[fanficwriting]

Hera: when i was your age, i was fighting wars and raising children and cursing mortals pathetic lives. what worthwhile have you ever done with yours?

Percy: have you ever eaten a tidepod?

Hera: ...what

Percy: i nearly died. i was throwing up bubbles. my insides were squeaky clean. and yet here i am. alive. slightly traumatized but wiser, with cleaner intestines. courageous but no longer naive enough to eat detergent.

Percy: I dont think I'm the one who needs to be asking themself about worthwhile life experiences.

[0lympian-c0uncil]

Poseidon: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea taste different if you put it in hot water

Athena,*slowly puts down her book*: Y-You were putting it in cold water....

Poseidon: ....

Hera: Poseidon. Answer the question. Poseidon!

Poseidon: Yeah I thought for like 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Everyone: ....

Poseidon: You think I have the patience to boil water?

Dionysus: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes????

Apollo,*grabbing him*: Why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it?!

Dionysus: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?!

Apollo: It takes less than a minute!

Hermes: BESTIE IS YOUR STOVE TOP POWERED BY THE FUCKING SUN?????

Apollo: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON THE STOVE!??!

Hermes: Like 7 minutes!

Dionysus: *nods*

Apollo: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes less than that and you use a saucepan.

Zeus: HA- You're putting the whole mug on the stove?????? on medium heat???? You're stove is enchanted!

Athena: Every single person in this room is a fucking lunatic...

Demeter: Do none of you own a fucking kettle!?

[godsofhumanity]

Zeus: So how did you convince all our siblings to betray me? What did you offer them? Hera: I asked if they wanted to embarrass you and they instantly said yes.

[withlovefromolympus]

Poseidon: oh no

Zeus: what is it?

Poseidon: an angry wife is coming towards us

Zeus: mine or yours

Poseidon: does it really matter?

Zeus: Well, if it's Amphitrite we might survive, but if it's Hera, we're totally dead.

[clonegirlie]

Hera: Honey, just so you know I invited Omega and she requested a plus 5

Kanan: Plus 5? That’s a little too much

Hera: I know but she insisted, and the more the merrier

Kanan: Well, if it makes you happy

-At the wedding-

Hunter, Crosshair, Wrecker, Tech, Echo: *staring at Kanan*

Kanan: *staring them back*

All together: *pointing at each other* WAIT A MINUTE

[olympushit]

Greek gods and their mottos:

Zeus: Justice above all.

Hera: Loyalty is the key to harmony.

Poseidon: Life is like the sea, you can never know for how long it will be calm.

Hades: The reason you don't enjoy life is because you are afraid of death.

Hestia: Keep calm and carry on.

Demeter: Don't underestimate someone because they look calm.

Ares: Never judge a book by its cover.

Aphrodite: Love is a bird, she needs to fly.

Apollo: The sexiest language someone can speak is the motherfucking truth.

Artemis: Women can do everything.

Hephaestus: Ugly outside, beautiful inside.

Athena: Knowledge is power.

Dionysus: Rage on or go home.

Hermes: Being talkative is nice, until you start lying.

[therighthandofvengeance]

not that I have a bias or anything…

[incorrectgreekgods]

Greek Gods as Kermit Pictures

making my grand return with this masterpiece you’re welcome

Zeus

Poseidon

Hades 

Persephone

Demeter

Hera

Hestia

Athena

Hermes

Apollo

Artemis

Hephaestus

Aphrodite

Ares

Dionysus

[raphael-angele]

If Hades raised Nico and Bianca Part 26 (Babysitting)

Artemis, entering: Apollo, where is- Who is that?

Apollo, holding baby Nico: Hm? Him? Oh, this is Uncle Hades' son. His name is Nico. He's squishy

Artemis: Well, he is adorable *approaches*

Apollo: *turning away* Hey, back off. He's my squishy. Get your own.

Artemis:

Bianca: *tugs on Artemis' clothes*

Artemis: *looks down* Oh...well hello there. *picks her up* What's your name?

---

Bianca: Uncle, look! I found a seashell!

Poseidon: Oh, that's a pretty one, Bianca. It's shiny, too.

Bianca: Can I keep it?

Poseidon: Of course

Nico, pulling Poseidon's arm: Uncle Popo! Uncle Popo!

Poseidon: Woah. Slow down there, Nico. What's wrong?

Nico: Look! *shows baby turtles crawling to the sea*

Poseidon: Oh, look at that. They're going to the sea for the first time.

Nico: We have to help them! *tries to pick one up*

Poseidon: Uph! Not so fast, little one. We can't do that.

Nico: But-

Poseidon: They have to do it on their own. Or else they'll never learn how.

---

Bianca: AARRGH!

Ares: *sigh* C'mon. One more time

Bianca: I don't wanna anymore. This is stupid. >:(

Ares: Look, it's normal to fall on your first few times.

Bianca: But I've been practicing for months now.

Ares: Doesn't matter; you'll still fall. Doesn't matter how good you are. You'll still make mistakes. But if you want to be better than now, then you have to keep going. Understand?

Bianca: Yes, Mr. Ares.

Ares: Alright, c'mon. Stand up, dust yourself off, and let's perfect this dance.

---

Nico, playing with Hera's peacocks: Hehe, hehe. Pretty.

Hera: Who are you?

Nico: Hm?

Hera: How did you get in here?

Nico: I-I...

Hera: What are you doing in here?

Nico: ...the peacocks...

Hera: What?

Nico: The peacocks were hungry. So I gave them food. They took me in here.

Hera:

Nico: I'm sorry, Ms. Hera.

Hera: *sigh then picks him up* You shouldn't be here, little one. Olympus is not a playground for you to wander on.

Nico: I'm sorry.

Hera: And it's very rude to enter someone's chambers without their permission.

---

Aphrodite, waking up: *looks in the mirror to see her hair full of flowers* What the-

Aphrodite: *looks back in her bed*

Nico: *sleeping with a basket of flowers on the side of the bed*

...

Bianca: Ms. Aphrodite

Aphrodite, braiding Bianca's hair: Yes, Bianca?

Bianca: What if I don't want to fall in love? Will you get mad at me?

Aphrodite: Of course not. Love isn't for everyone. Some people prefer to focus on other things like their work or something else.

Bianca: But...I don't wanna be lonely

Aphrodite: You don't have to be. Just because you don't want to fall in love with others doesn't mean they don't love you. And it wont always be a romantic kind of love.

Bianca: What do you mean?

Aphrodite: Hmm, you know how you love your brother very much? Well, that's a different kind of love. Or when you love your friends, that's also a different kind of love.

Bianca: So...you'd be okay if I never get a husband?

Aphrodite: Of course I would. You'd only be hurting yourself if you're forcing yourself to love someone you don't really love. *finishes braiding her hair* And, done!

Bianca, looks in the mirror: ...wow

Aphrodite: Do you like it?

Bianca: I love it...I look like mama

---

Nico: O-once...up-upon...a time... *trying to read Puss in Boots*

Athena: You're doing well, Nico.

Bianca, pointing to a word in her book: Ms. Athena, what does this word mean? Exqui-Exquisite?

Athena: It's an adjective. When something is exquisite, it means it looks beautiful.

---

Nico: Choo choo! Uncle Hepha! Can I play with choo choo?

Hephaestus: Sure, why not? Just don't touch it, okay? You'll hurt yourself.

Bianca: Uncle Hephaestus, can you please fix this? *shows him a trinket*

Hephaestus: What is it? *takes it*

Bianca: It was our mama's music box. When you open it, it should make a pretty sound and the people in the middle should dance around. But they stopped dancing.

Hephaestus: Alright. I'll try and fix it. But I can't guarantee you that I can

---

Nico: HAHAHAHAHA! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!

Hermes: Nico, we've run around 5 times already. You're gonna throw up at this point

Nico: No, I'm not.

Hermes: Yes, you are. That's enough running around.

Nico: Aww :(

Hermes: How about instead, we go and prank your Uncle Apollo? :D

Nico: YEA!

Hermes: What are we thinking? Cut the reigns on his chariot? Cover his chambers in tin foil? Shoot him in the butt?

---

Zeus: Ah! Hello, little ones. Why don't you come here and give your uncle Zeus a hug?

Bianca:

Nico:

Zeus: Come on

Nico: *throws the dummy sword Zagreus gave him*

Bianca: *throws the dummy sword Achilles gave her*

Zeus: Ow!

Hades: ...good work, children! :D

[incorrectpizza]

Hera: I'll adopt all the murder kids and you adopt all the just edgy kids? Kanan: Why are we adopting murder kids???? Hera: Chopper needs friends with common interests.

[aaeeart]

hey I made another one 👁️ this one is probably my favorite absolutely not because Freddie is a part of that audio, trust me

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[echo-stimmingrose]

Hera: A boy doesn't dye his hair that color unless he has psychological problems!!

Dionysus: My hair color has nothing to do with my psychological problems!!!!

[0lympian-c0uncil]

Aphrodite, *to Hera*: You can tell me your secrets.

Aphrodite: I mean you absolutely shouldn't. I'll use them against you...

Aphrodite: But technically you can.

[godsofhumanity]

Hades: [trying to feel the baby kick] Hera: Sorry this is taking so long. He kicked for everyone else. Zeus: It's hard for the little one to perform under pressure. Demeter: Top 10 things Zeus said on his wedding night! Hades: Woah, it was small, but I think I felt something. Poseidon: Top 10 things Hera said on her wedding night. Hera: [starts laughing] Zeus: Stop laughing at it, Hera :( Hades, Demeter, Poseidon and Hestia: Top 10 things Zeus said on his wedding night!!