#incorrect starker

[starker2910]

Peter: If we were cats, you'd be the love of my nine lives.

Tony: I had two lives, you were my love in both.

[pretty-bratty]

Amazing inspo by @spideyslag again

[itscrazycasey]

Peter, trying to first: “You have… nice… ankles!”

Tony: “Where’d you learn to flirt, the 40s?”

Peter: “…”

Tony: “Cap and Bucky.”

Peter, nodding: “Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes.”

[dragonstar2568]

Tony: so what do you think (proudly holding up a limited edition that hasn’t been released Ironman mug)

Steve: what, no you can’t give that to Peter as a gift.

Tony:(frowns) why not ?

Steve: because that’s not a gift a boyfriend gives there partner, I mean come on who would what a mug with your face on it ?

(Peter walks in the kitchen)

Tony: well let’s see then,(shows peter the mug)

Peter: OH MY GOD !!!! I LOVE IT !! (completely fanboying)

Peter: (opens cabinet to reveal a shit load of Ironman cups and mugs) gasps I thought this one didn’t even come out yet !! how did you get it ?!

Tony:(completely in love) Baby, I’m Ironman

Steve: seriously…..

Tony: (proudly smirking)(mouths: told you he’d like it)

Steve: you guys are weird…

[squilfmybeloved]

*during literally any avengers fight ever*

KAREN: Well done with the stitches, Peter. I'm reading significantly higher output, and your vitals look promising.

peter: god KAREN you snitch- yes, for the moment, i'm not dying, thank you!

tony, on comms: what do you mean, you're not dying? did you just say you were dying?

peter: that you, mr. stark? uhh- no! i'm not! not anymore!

rhodey, also on comms: what- what? what's going on?

tony: you were gonna tell me? you really were dying?

peter: well you didn't let me-

tony: why didn't you tell me that??

peter: i was gonna make you an omelette and tell you!

nat, yelling over comms: hey- hey, save it for at home! we have incoming over here, fight's bringing itself to us!

peter, groaning: great. mr. stark?

tony: well are you okay now?

peter: i am fine, don't be mad! i'll formally apologize-

tony, cutting him off: i am mad.

peter: -when we're not fighting aliens from outer space!

tony, sighing: fine.

[definitelynottony]

(High school AU: Tony is a senior, Peter is a freshman in Tony's advanced mathematics class.)

Teacher:"In this equation, what comes after 69?"

Tony:(looking directly at Peter) "Mouthwash"

Peter:😳

Teacher:"Stark! Get out of my class!"

[mishastiel]

child actor peter x senior actor tony who goes after that little boy the second he sees him on set. peter's 14 max and relatively famous but tony's like, SUPER famous, and the moment tony starts flirting with him he's bragging it to his closest friends. they're the same age as him and they think it's a bit weird but it's literally tony stark!!! so, lucky peter. but the other actors and staff starts to notice how weird tony and peter are with each other, and catch really fast on what tony's doing (since he already has some underage sex rumors but nothing confirmed). so they cancel all the scenes tony and peter would be together in, and separate them asap. peter's super upset (believing tony was in love with him and they were almost getting together) and tony just got cock blocked (he was so close to fucking the peterussy).

the preying tony did to peter was like, really obvious. he would make their characters have some sexual tension, which was crazy considering peter's character was younger than him IRL and tony's character was older. it's all so much drama in the fandom online too, and their obsessed fans who can't see the problem with their flirting and groping and stuff do everything to defend them and the haters are always going to the police or smth asijdsadij

[reid-supremacist]

Peter: Uhh, Mr stark?

Tony: yeah what’s up kid?

Peter: What does one do when their hair dryer is on fire…hypothetically speaking

Tony: kid did you set your hair dryer on fire again?!

Peter: …perhaps

Tony: oh my god!

Peter: and three towels while I was trying to put it out

[sinner-for-starker]

Peter: You call yourself my soulmate, but where were you when my meme only had four likes? Tony: Making four accounts Peter: *tearing up* R-really??

[gfmaximoff]

Tony: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Peter: The cow???

Tony: What?!

Stephen: Peter, WHY?

[i-a-q]

Steve: You don’t have to hide how you feel.

Bucky: *softly* It’s the only way I know how.

[pretty-bratty]

[aimless-alpine]

peter: well fuck me if I’m wrong but-

tony: you’re wrong

peter: tony what-

tony: you. are. wrong.

[winterspiderpurrs]

Okay but Peter doing this as Spiderman. But instead of Demons he says Criminals. And this just so happens to be the time that Tony had Friday connect him to Karen.

" Did you just ask for if any horny boys are out while on patrol kid?"

"MR. STARK!?!?! OMG"

"

[sinner-for-starker]

Tony: I can fix you. Peter, mentally: No, don't fix me. Degrade me. Ruin me. Take me apart and break me all over again. Peter, verbally: Okay, sir.

[liskantope]

So apparently there's AI voiceover nowadays which sounds adult and female with a strong Valley Girl -like inflection. The first example I ran across today was from the same website, featuring a cat rescue in what I'm guessing was a developing country, and was a starker display of the Valley Girl thing (for lack of a better description) given that the narration was in incorrect broken English; this is what tipped me off to the artificiality of the voiceover. But I'm not sure I know where to find it; the content was a bit unpleasant; and I've heard that the dangerous events in those videos are orchestrated for clicks, so I probably shouldn't be spreading those videos around.