#inspired from an actual conversation I have had

[grison-in-space]

I'm genuinely sorry, I was really tired and couldn't think of the word that mad pride movements use. I'm new to all of this. I thought you would be more open to it because you've reblogged from radical leftists (anarchists and communists both) within the past couple of weeks and they're all for Veganism afaik. The argument that all brains are different but equal and should be treated the exact same is a primary aspect of mad pride from my understanding, and that speaks to me about animals just having different brains, and that they don't deserve to be exploited and killed for us just because they're different. I'm not spamming people with it, but I was inspired by an ask by a nonvegan and started asking popular bloggers why they weren't vegan to open up conversation and potentially change people's views on animals. If I've made you uncomfortable I'm sorry, though I admit I'm really confused by your standpoint. You do know that the only reason communism hasn't succeeded is because of America? Anyway, sorry again, I'm also autistic and I didn't mean to dismiss your legitimate dietary needs. Can I recommend acti-vegan's posts? While I understand that you can't go vegan, perhaps their blog will at least help you understand our points, they're much more well-written than my asks and they have plenty of legitimate science resources at hand. Thanks for listening, I'll take your advice into account. I'm not trying to not listen, it's just frustrating because so many people say they get it but they don't change, and if they truly got it they would, you know?

Okay, I get that you didn't mean to be offensive, and fuck knows I shouldn't throw stones when it comes to forgetting specific words. (This happens to me fairly frequently; it's a thing.)

The argument that all brains are different but equal and should be treated the exact same is a primary aspect of mad pride from my understanding, and that speaks to me about animals just having different brains, and that they don't deserve to be exploited and killed for us just because they're different.

So yesterday I actually wrote out and then deleted a whole paragraph to the effect of "part of my deep, deep frustration with animal rights activism hooks into my commitment to the phrase 'nothing about us without us,' because I frequently see the same kinds of emotional projection without making the effort to listen to animals on their own terms from animal rights activism groups."

The first thing I need to make clear to you is that this--veganism and animal rights activism (ARA) more generally--is not new to me. I am in my mid-thirties and I have never had a job of any kind that did not revolve around animals in some way, I've spent time in rescue spaces and vets and universities, I'm queer and I have spent most of my life in leftish progressive circles, so it's kind of hard to miss.

Essentially, you are proselytizing to me as if you were a newly baptized evangelical convinced I had never heard of Jesus, because if only I had heard and understood his holy word, I would be converted instantly to his light! It's not any less irritating when the belief system isn't explicitly a religion.

More under the cut, because this one is long.

Disclaimer one: Veganism isn't synonymous with ARA ideology, but it's deeply entangled with it, and ARA ideology drives the movement of veganism as a (theoretically non-religious) ethical decision. And I object very strongly to the framework imposed by ARA activists. When I say I am not vegan, I am saying that I have considered the ethical framework that underpins veganism as an ethics movement and I have deliberately rejected it.

The second piece of context you should know that when I talk about being a behavioral ecologist, I mean that I'm a researcher who works on animals and that my framework is rooted in trying to understand animals in their own natural ecological context, without necessarily comparing them to humans. There's a lot of ways to study animal behavior you might run into, including attempts to understand universal principles of behavior that transcend species (animal cognition) and attempts to understand how to better treat animals in human care (animal welfare). You know Temple Grandin? Temple Grandin is an ethologist (the field that gave rise to behavioral ecology, also focused on animals within their species context) who worked on animal welfare (finding ways to make slaughterhouses less stressful to livestock, among other things).

Third point: my profession also means is that I work directly with animals--in my case, currently mice--and that I do not think research with animal subjects is wrong as long as all efforts are made to ensure maximal welfare and enrichment for the animals involved. This is another major bone of contention politically between my entire field and ARA groups, and you should know that I have also spent my entire professional career under the shadow of, well, people who care strongly enough about those ideas to invade my workspace and potentially seize my animals and "free" them into a world they do not have the tools to survive in.

So there's where I am coming from. Let's get back to what you're saying. Here, I'll quote again in case you have the same crappy short-term memory I do.

The argument that all brains are different but equal and should be treated the exact same is a primary aspect of mad pride from my understanding, and that speaks to me about animals just having different brains, and that they don't deserve to be exploited and killed for us just because they're different.

Point the first: Even within humans, I don't think that all brains should be treated the exact same. Especially in a disability context! After all, what is an accommodation if not an agreement to treat someone differently because they need certain things to access a space? Accommodations by definition fly in the face of this "treating everyone the same" understanding of fairness. I think all (human) brains are equally valuable, and I think all brains are worthy of respect, but I do not think that it's wise or kind of me to assert that everyone should be treated in the same way. For one thing, I teach students. If there's one thing teaching has taught me, it's that a good teacher is constantly assessing and adjusting their instruction to meet students where they're at, identify failures of understanding, and keep the attention of the classroom.

Point the second: animals do have different brains from humans. That does not mean that animals are inferior, but it does mean that they are alien. There's a philosophy paper, Nagel, What Does It Mean to Be a Bat, that you might find illuminating on this front. Essentially, the point of the paper is that animals have their own experiences and sensory umwelts that differ profoundly enough from humans' that we cannot know what it is like to be a different species without experiencing life as one, and therefore we must be terribly careful not to project our own realities onto theirs. That is, our imagination cannot tell us what a bat values and what it experiences. That is why we have to use careful evidence to understand what an animal is thinking, without relying on our ability to identify with and comprehend that animal. I have watched ARA groups deliberately encourage people to shut their reasoning brains off and emotionally identify themselves with animals without considering within-species context for twenty years. This is a mainstream tactic. It is not an isolated event and for that reason alone I would be opposed to them.

Point the third: there is a definite tendency in lots of people to care deeply and intensely about both animals and people who are seen as "lesser" in status--children, poor people, disabled people, etc--just as long as those groups never contradict the good feelings that come from the helper's own assessment of themselves and their actions. In humans, when the "needy" point out that some forms of help are actually harmful, the backlash is often swift and vicious. This is why animals are such an appealing target of support and intervention. They can't speak back and say "in fact, you are projecting my love of this frilly pink tutu onto me, and I think it's uncomfortable and prevents me from walking." They can't say "I kind of like it better when I don't have to worry about getting hit by a car, actually?"

(By the way: this is also why it's offensive to compare disabled people to animals, because this is generally done at least in part to silence the voices of disabled people speaking for our selves and our communities. We have access to language, and we use it, thank you.)

All forms of animal welfare intervention going right back to the founding of the first RSPCA have been incredibly prone to being hijacked by classist, racist, and otherwise bigoted impulses. This is because animals offer an innocent face for defense that conveniently cannot criticize the actions taken by their champions, and they therefore provide a great excuse for actions taken against marginalized members of human society. Think about the very first campaign the RSPCA ever did, which was banning using dogs as draft animals: a use that is not inherently harmful to dogs, which many dogs actively enjoy, but also one that was specifically used by poor Londoners and which in fact immediately resulted in a great butchery of the dogs that Londoners could no longer afford to feed rather than allowing poor people and their dogs to continue working together. No one was, of course, challenging the particular uses of dogs or any other animal favored by the wealthy. This kind of thing is so, so, so common. Obviously it doesn't mean that all interventions to prioritize animal welfare are inherently bigoted, but it does mean that we have to be critical about our choice of challenges.

On top of everything, the animal rights activist movement's obsession with "exploitation" is a function of the idea that humans are sinful or otherwise Bad in how we interact with animals by definition. For example, take the chicken rescue near me that is so obsessed with the possibility that some human somewhere might benefit from an animal in their care that they implant every hen they adopt out with hormonal implants such that the hens no longer lay eggs--a function that is normally a natural byproduct of a chicken's reproductive system, fertilized or not. A mutualistic relationship involves both parties benefiting, and that is the case for an awful lot of human relationships with animals. In general, the idea that associating with animals is a thing that can only harm animals rather than being a trade between two species to enrich one another is all over these groups. It's just so myopically focused on human shame that it prevents practical interventions that might benefit everyone, and often promotes interventions that don't directly benefit animals but sure do make humans miserable. For example, this kind of thinking is why groups like PETA are absolutely awful at effectively rescuing unwanted dogs and cats: they think pets living in "bondage" with humans are an essentially sad outcome, rather than one that might be mutually enjoyed by all parties.

I'm tired and my meds haven't kicked in, so I'm not currently going to handle the communism thing except to point out that while the US absolutely did destabilize a number of leftist regimes in South America and Africa, Russia and China between them have certainly not treated their own people kindly, either (and more so their own client-nations, as with the former members of the USSR). Please do some reading about the Holodomor and Lysenko in Russia (and frankly all of the details of Stalin's regime) and the Cultural Revolution in China in particular. Khmer Rouge might be worth looking into, too. I am not saying the US's hands are clean, you understand, because they are not; they're as steeped in red as anyone else's. What I am saying is that for people living on the ground, communist revolutions have this nasty habit of turning into bloodbaths and arbitrary slaughters. Do not let your distaste for the US's bloodsoaked imperialism (which, yes, is and was bad) let you fall into the trap of becoming a tankie.

And if you don't know what a tankie is, you really, really should take some time to learn.

[mandaplease10]

A Polin Take Nobody Asked For #5

*Penelope & Colin Aren't Friends*

Once again, there are complaints about how Pen & Colin were never actually friends because we never see them be friends. We're simply only told they are friends and now we're supposed to believe Colin loves her after saying he would never court.

Well, I am here to tell you why that is wrong. Oh and someone on twitter claimed this season has no narrative... like are we watching the same show??

FYI this is a long post!

Season 1:

Colin dances with Penelope after Cressida spills a drink on her. Even before this, he sought her out to have a conversation with her.

There are several times we see Colin and Penelope speaking at balls or gatherings.

Penelope tries to tell him about Marina and he is grateful for her friendship and care, but he doesn't listen to her because he thinks he knows Marina. Yet, he still took the time to hear her out for the most part.

Once Marina's secret is revealed, Colin apologizes to Pen and recognizes she was just trying to look out for him.

Colin goes traveling the first time because of Pen inspiring him to do so.

Colin singing in the drawing room and lowers his voice/stars at Pen when she walks in.

Season 2:

Their letters - This is a huge element to their friendship and their storyline. Honestly, I would love to have seen what their letters entailed over the years. Maybe one day we'll have a scene of them going through their old letters or something.

Colin's arrival - hello! That look he gives her when he sees her there in the drawing room after greeting his family. I believe had Hyacinth and Gregory not rushed him and Anthony didn't walk in to go to the races, he would have walked over and said something to her.

At the races- he sees Pen and walks over to her. He initiates the conversation and talks about their letters until Eloise ruins the moment.

Another moment he initiates a conversation is when Pen assumes he met someone on his travels and he talks about how he 'found himself' thanks to her letters.

Lady Crane was right about you - He knows that Pen cares for him and is special in his life and the fact that someone else saw that made him open his eyes a little more.

Defending the Featheringtons - Colin stood up to his friend Will when he said something negative about Pen's family and then again when he realized Jack was scheming around.

You are special to me. I will always look out for you - HELLO! Yes, Colin has a hero complex, but he doesn't do this for everyone! He doesn't seek out to help Cressida or other women of TON, but he risked standing up to a "Lord" to save Pen's family from ruin.

You are Pen. You are my friend - Colin literally calls her his friend and holds her above just another woman. Yes, in this moment she was sort of friend zoned, but the fact he still wanted her in his life, means something.

"I would never court Penelope Featherington" - Yes, this was not a good look, but this was also Colin trying to put on a facade in front of the gentleman. Plus, I also believe that in his state of mind, what he was doing and how he is around Pen, is just how they are together, yet in other's eyes, it was very much courting action.

Season 3:

His arrival - Immediately looks for Pen and when he doesn't see her, looks towards her house confused as to why she isn't present.

The Gardens - Smiles when he sees her and is eager to talk to her, upset when she cuts their conversation short.

The ball - Stares at her and watches her from afar and rushes after her when he sees her in distress.

Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton - Tries to joke around with her and have a friendly conversation, but realizes something is wrong. Feels horrid when he realizes why she is upset with him and wants to talk it out, gets upset when she leaves.

The Featherington Garden - Again, he seeks her out because he wants to make things right with her. THIS ENTIRE SCENE IS PRACTICALLY A WHY YOU ARE SPECIAL AND MORE THAN A FRIEND TO ME DECLARATION. If you actually watch this entire scene, you will see that there is genuine friendship and love there.

The Meet Cute - Seriously, the fact that HE remembers how they met AND he was the one who brought it up, says A LOT.

The Drawing Room - He listened to her and brought her to a place that makes her comfortable. He even made sure it was during a time when they would be alone. Also, it is obvious he feels something during the touch of hands and her attempt at flirting with him.

The Ball - They have yet another conversation amongst the two of them and he encourages her to talk to someone. Then they have a laugh. A genuine laugh, one that she never really had with Debling later on... Then we have the little bouts of jealous Colin when she's speaking to Lord Remington. Then how angry he gets when the word gets out about him and Pen and how he rushes after her in worry.

The First Kiss - Once again, Colin is seeking her out... in the middle of the night... bribing her maid for alone time. Like... not just anyone does that. Colin only had to do the one kiss. The one peck because that was all Pen asked for, but guess what? He went in for another one and would have kissed her again if she didn't leave. We can tell on his face, that he felt something he never felt before.

The Dream - Most people don't have romantic dreams about their friends unless there are feelings there.

The Willow Tree - The awkwardness is everything and pure friends to lovers.

I could continue the rest of their moments, but I'm not going to because so many of the same people keep saying the only reason Colin wanted Pen is because of Debling, well guess what everything that I listed above is PRE DEBLING. Yes, there is that moment in episode 1, but it isn't until episode 3 when Debling actively tries to pursue Pen and vice versa.

So, yeah, Polin haters can keep complaining and trying to make excuses as to why they dislike the season, but the receipts are the there to debunk those claims.

[billluver0124]

"Even My Bones"

synopsis: bill falls inlove with y/n after meeting her at a gas station, a month later; after a moment of passion something is revealed about her.

WARNINGS: cannibalism, blood, makeout scene

authors note: this story is inspired by the movie 'bones and all', i immediately thought of a plot after watching the movie. but this story does get gorey, so please scroll of you are uncomfortable reading. thank you to @rottinglilys for helping me with this story<3 enjoy my lovies, mwah!

BILLS POV: it was like yesterday when i met her. i was at a gas station, my brother tom waiting in the car as i bought myself a pack of skittles and a pack of cigarettes. then there she was, the love of my life; i didnt know it then but i know it so much now. she looked different then other girls, her eyes were as big and doey as a deer, her smile was as bright as the sun. there was something unique about her, she was almost inhuman-like, but so beautiful. i caught myself watching her every move as she walked around the station..

Y/NS POV:

i walked into the gas station, using the amount of money i had left to get myself some snacks and water for the journey that was to come. "that'll be 13.74 please" the cashier told me, i gave him fifteen bucks and he gave me the remaining change, and the stuff i bought of course. i thanked him, before catching a glimpse at the boy who was staring at me the entire time; and leaving to continue my walk. (the rest of the story is now in third person !)

bill mentally slapped himself for not talking to her at the gas station, but he shook it off as he walked back to the car, continuing his drive with tom back home. "why do you look so gloomy?" tom asked, with small concern. "nothing, im just tired" bill replied, giving tom a small smile as he continued to drive him and tom.

after bill dropped tom off at his house, he now drove the route to his house. when he saw her again, walking on the road all by herself, with nothing but a backpack. "hey!" he shouted, catching her attention. "are you okay miss?" "uhh yea, im okay" she replied, not very sure about her answer "well, why are you walking alone? its late and its not safe at this hour" bill asked, concerned for her well being. y/n looked around the area, the boy was right, it did look pretty dangerous out here in the dark "w-well, d-do you think you could gimme a ride?" y/n asked, slightly nervous about her surroundings. "yea, come in" bill opened the passenger side door for her, allowing her to come in. she puts on her seat belt as they continued the drive. "you live around here?" bill asked, y/n looking at him for a small moment before answering "actually i dont, im not from here" "where were you gonna stay?" bill asked, curiousity filled his senses. "i was just gonna sleep at a bus stop" she said nonchalantly, bill turned to look at her once again, wide eyed "are you crazy? nonsense, you can stay with me at my place!" "n-no, you dont have to-" "i insist, no pretty girl like you should stay alone like that" bill immediately blushed after he realized what he called her, y/n blushing to herself as she took the compliment. after a small moment she spoke..

"im y/n" she looked to him as she spoke, bill replying soon after "im bill, its a pleasure to meet you" y/n softly smiled. sitting in a soft and peaceful silence the rest of the drive home. they finally reached his house, bill leads her inside, helping her take off her beat up sage green converse and hanging her backpack on a hanger. "you can sleep in my room if youd like, i dont mind sleeping on the couch" "no, its your house, ill sleep on the couch" y/n insisted, not willing to negotiate anything else. and thats what happened, y/n slept on the couch...for most of the night. bill wakes up to the sound of y/n panicking, he rushes out of the room and holds her in his arms "you're okay, everything's okay" he soothes her as she cried in his arms, after she calms down a bit she speaks "i-i had a nightmare.." bill softly smiled at her, even in such a panicked state; she was still so beautiful to him "do you wanna come sleep with me in my room?" "i-is that okay with you?" she asked, bill smiled even more "its more than okay with me" bill takes her to his bed, holding her in his arms as they both slept. he knows he shouldnt move this fast with her, he didn't even know her for gods sake! but something about her was so, addicting. A month goes by, bill and y/n began to know more about each other, both sharing their feelings in the process, sharing a few intimate nights with each other too. bill knew she was the one, the missing puzzle piece in his life, the filling of the void he had for so long. bill knew it was always her. and y/n felt the exact same. they loved each other.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bill held her waist as he kissed her neck, hearing her sweet moans for him. he smirks, going back up to her lips; their tongues dancing with each other in one anothers mouths. y/n had her hands in dreads, melting in his addicting touch. "god i love you so much" bill groaned, "i love you too" y/n moans back.

then all of a sudden, y/n had this violent urge of hunger, her skin began to crawl as she drooled for bill. she needed to feed. she goes down to his neck, mumbling an 'im so sorry' before sinking her teeth in bills neck. bill yells in pain as a response.

BILLS POV: "liebe! stop, i-its me!" i cried, trying to push her off but she was too strong. i felt another wave of pure agony as i watched her dig her nails into the flesh on my chest, feeding it into her mouth, another scream of pain as my response. but after a moment, something made me accept this. it was her beauty, she was literally ripping me apart and eating me. but even with my blood all over her...still, she looked so beautiful. "i love you y/n" those were my last words, the last things i needed to say as i watched her, tear me apart piece by piece. consuming my existence, eating my entire body... even my bones. Y/NS POV: after i ate him, i snapped out of my trance and realized what i just did. i just killed...and ate the love of my life. he was my everything, my soulmate. and i just ripped him apart and consumed him so selfishly. what is wrong with me?, there was nothing but a pool of blood and his hair, his beautiful black hair with white dreads, that was the only thing i had for memory of him. i got up to go to the bathroom, catching my reflection in the mirror. i looked so disgusting, his blood was all over me, there were pieces of him stuck in my teeth. all i could do now, was cry. i felt myself falling to my knees, screaming out all my regret in cries, why did i have to be like this? and out of all people... why did it have to be bill?

[rottenpumpkin13]

Ello!!! Hope it’s been a lovely day, my friendo! 💕 I can say mine has been made 10x better after reading your “Sephiroth turns invisible” prank 😂❤️ Another golden post by the Pumpkin master! (´∩｡^ᵕ^｡∩`) ♡ Anywho, in light of how much I adored that post, I’ve been inspired to pose a similar ask!! *deep breath* Here goes:

For another prank, as the last one didn’t work out so well (or it can be disconnected all together), Zack decides to pretend that Sephiroth is very much visible, very much there, except everyone pretends that they don’t know who he is. Angeal pretends like he’s meeting Seph for the first time, as do Genesis and Zack; even Cloud wants to join in on the fun/pretends he doesn’t recognize his hero. What they think is a harmless joke to give Seph a break from his fame turns into something rather distressing for the poor man, until he ultimately just breaks down under the crushing illusion that he lost his treasured friends forever. Only then do the gang break the act <33

Really craving some Pumpkin-flavored angst/fuff!! There ain’t anyone who can deliver it quite like you can!!!

Ughhh I owe you Cloud content ˙◠˙ I forgot to include him in this one fhfhfhfh forgive me Pichu 😭💛🖤 But at the same time you owe me tissues for both the brilliant one-shot you write with the prompt I asked you about and the emotional damage this insanely good prompt caused me (seriously, I had to hold back tears because I was in public and didn't want to seem like a lunatic asdfghjk). Enjoy the angst!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Jokes were supposed to be funny, that much he knew. Sephiroth recalled a time when he was utterly floored by Glenn’s claim of “getting his nose” after pinching his lightly between two fingers. After he had been confused, the older SOLDIER explained that it was a joke—although Sephiroth was not amused by the concept of stealing one’s nose.

Another instance, during the initial stages of their friendship, involved Angeal's determined endeavor to coax more smiles out of Sephiroth. This pursuit took the form of a barrage of jokes, some of which sailed right over Sephiroth's head at first. "What do you call a fake noodle?" Angeal asked him one day, the inquiry that left the younger SOLDIER utterly flummoxed.

"I'm not certain there's a designated term for—"

"An im-pasta," Angeal interjected, flashing a wide grin.

Angeal then found himself investing the next two minutes in a patient explanation of the joke to Sephiroth, who had mistakenly interpreted the term "im-pasta" as the actual designation for fake noodles. Though he did understand one thing straight away: jokes weren’t meant to hurt you.

It all began one morning when Sephiroth went looking for them. Angeal was nowhere to be seen around the training room or his office, a fact that piqued Sephiroth's curiosity since he knew Angeal didn't have any missions scheduled for that morning. Likewise, Genesis was conspicuously absent from the public archives, his office, and even the break room, his usual spots. Just as Sephiroth was contemplating checking for Genesis at his apartment, he finally caught sight of the duo.

They were near the data room, engaged in lively conversation and laughs.. It was a scene that never failed to warm Sephiroth's heart, for his friendships were the only true source of joy in his otherwise mundane days. He approached eagerly, ready to share the news of beating his personal record in the training simulator.

But then the laughter stopped, and the air immediately soured with a hint of awkwardness as they both looked at him, confused, before turning back to each.. “Do we know you?” Genesis asked, followed by Angeal’s “I don’t think we do.”

Sephiroth paused, confused. “What do you mean?”

His friends provided no answers as they merely looked at each other, laughed, and walked away.

Sephiroth stood there, alone and confused, as a thread of understanding began to weave its way into his mind. He realized why Genesis and Angeal had seemingly disregarded him: he must have done something to upset them.

The remainder of the day was spent pondering over the possible words or actions that could have soured their view toward him. Had he been too harsh on Angeal while correcting his footwork? Perhaps he had been too exhausted from his latest mission to give Genesis the attention he deserved when discussing the new Loveless play he had been invited to critique.

Eventually, after a day filled with distraction and a multitude of potential scenarios swirling in his mind, Sephiroth decided to confront the issue head-on. He found them in the mess hall that evening, seated at their usual table, the aroma of food wafting through the air stirring his neglected appetite and reminding him that he hadn’t eaten since yesterday.

Approaching them, Sephiroth didn't even attempt to take a seat, uncertain if his presence would be welcomed. "What have I done to upset you?"

The response felt like a punch to the gut. They exchanged a glance before fixing their gazes back on Sephiroth. "Sorry," Genesis shrugged, his expression showing a hint of a smile. "We don’t know you."

Sephiroth walked away, his heart heavy. Not only had he upset them, but he had seemingly committed an unforgivable act, risking the loss of his closest friends. He couldn't bear the thought of losing them; his friendships were the very essence that kept him going each morning, the reason that infused life into every waking moment. What had he done to squander it?

That night, sleep eluded him, and the gnawing hunger in his stomach went unnoticed as he lay awake in bed, tossing and turning, replaying every single interaction he'd had with them over the past week. As the clock struck 5 AM, he hurried down to the mess hall once more, determined to seek answers.

Spotting Zack heading in for breakfast, Sephiroth swiftly intercepted him, pulling the younger SOLDIER aside with urgency. "Has Angeal mentioned anything to you about what I've done to upset him and Genesis?" he inquired, his tone clearly displaying the desperation he felt.

Zack's eyes widened, and for a brief moment, Sephiroth thought he detected a hint of amusement.. "I'm sorry," Zack replied, "Who are you again?"

Sephiroth refrained from attempting to approach them again that day, whether it was Angeal, Genesis, or Zack. He had committed some unfathomable wrongdoing, and the guilt gnawed at him like teeth biting down deeper and deeper into his skin. It was exacerbated by his inability to recall what he had done. He had squandered the one good thing in his life.

Then, at once, the reason for why they were upset with him came to mind. And it made so much sense. He hastily gathered his thoughts and made his way towards Angeal's office that evening, the usual meeting place for the four of them at the end of the day.

He didn't bother with the formality of knocking—after all, could he possibly worsen their anger towards him? Sephiroth pushed open the door, coming face-to-face with the startled expressions that greeted him. Genesis dropped the book he had been reading into his lap, his mouth agape.

Zack, who had been perched on Angeal's desk, leaped to his feet, his expression a mixture of concern and alarm. Angeal nearly choked on the water he had been drinking. "Seph, have you been crying!?"

"I understand why you're upset with me," Sephiroth began, his voice trembling. "It's because I declined the offer to go see a movie with you all last weekend, isn't it?" His words caught in his throat as tears threatened to overwhelm him. "I'm sorry," he choked out, gasping for air. "I didn't mean to show disinterest in spending time with you, but I was completely depleted after enduring an exhaustive examination session with Professor Hojo throughout the day."

Pausing briefly to compose himself, Sephiroth was oblivious to the tears streaming down his face as he continued, his voice cracking. "I couldn't focus on anything, and I was feeling utterly drained, but I should have made the effort to be there with you all. I understand how you might feel that I didn't care for our friendship," He sniffed, "but I assure you, I do. I understand if you never wish to speak to me again—”

Angeal enveloped him in a hug before Sephiroth could utter another word, the warmth of the embrace causing him to surrender to his emotions completely. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he buried his face in Angeal's neck, his sobs muffled but very much audible to the other two people in the room, who looked at each other, stunned.

"Sephiroth, it was just a joke," Angeal exclaimed, his tone tinged with exasperation. "We thought you knew."

"We never imagined it would upset you like this," Genesis interjected, joining the embrace from behind and wrapping his arms around Sephiroth. "Sure, we expected you to be a bit annoyed, but we never anticipated this level reaction!"

Feeling Zack's hand rest gently on his shoulder, Sephiroth looked up, meeting his friend's gaze. "We're not angry with you,” Zack’s voice shook, his eyes wide. “We never were, and I don't think I could ever be!" Zack gripped his shoulder tighter. "We–we had no idea this joke was hurting you. If we had known, we never would have gone through with it!"

“Never,” Angeal added.

“But,” Sephiroth sniffed, blinking the tears from his eyes, “You Weren't speaking to me, so I thought—”

"Seph, look at me," Genesis gently turned Sephiroth to face him, tenderly wiping away the tears that stained his cheeks, his own eyes glistening with tears of his own. "We were just playing a prank on you, we thought it would be a harmless joke, something we'd all laugh about. We were never angry with you, and I'm truly sorry for how much this has distressed you."

Sephiroth glanced away, his voice small. "You're not angry?"

"No, Sephiroth, no!" Zack's voice cut in, his own tears mirroring Sephiroth's. "I'm so sorry," he sniffled, enveloping them all in a tight embrace.

"Me too," Angeal added, his arms pulling Zack into the hug. "We promise we won't ever pull a prank like this again. We should have realized it could hurt you."

"Can you forgive us?" Genesis asked.

Sephiroth felt himself deflate, his tension dissipating as he melted into the embrace. "But I'm not angry," he murmured. "I just wanted to understand."

Lazard was on his way to deliver some papers to Angeal when he paused outside his office door, his attention drawn by a commotion sounding from the other side. Concerned, he hesitated for a moment before pushing the door open.

What was on the other side made him do a double-take. Sephiroth sat on the floor, flanked by Zack, Angeal, and Genesis, all four of them huddled together on the ground, sobbing as they clung to one another. Lazard was almost tempted to ask if someone had died, almost.

“What a strange bunch,” Lazard muttered, shaking his head and closing the door.

[acourtofthought]

Random Musings inspired by conversations I was having with @acourtdelaluna

Do you remember in ACOWAR how Cassian and Feyre spoke of Nesta on multiple occasions? How Feyre asked if Cassian would use Nesta to fix the wall and spoke of the day she was changed, to which Cassian responded that he'd never forget those moments as long as he lived. How Cassian mentioned to Feyre how Nesta is always pissed at him, how he didn't think Nesta would ever forgive him for what happened in Hybern, how staying cooped up would destroy her, with Feyre asking how often he'd been up to see her, with Feyre asking why he even bothered and he said because he couldn't stay away, that he'd headed to the Carver with Feyre because he wanted to see if the Carver knew what Nesta had become to which Feyre asked if he'd be afraid of her if she was Death.

There are multiple interactions where Feyre and Cassian speak of Nesta well before SF.

Do you remember in ACOWAR and ACOFAS how Lucien and Feyre spoke of Elain on multiple occasions? Where Lucien wanted to learn about Elain through Feyre, where Lucien asked when he'd be allowed to see her, when he asked that she let him help, when he insisted they get her outside and suggested a healer, when he spoke of tugging on the bond, when he asked if she still mourned Graysen and how she was doing, when he was telling her how Elain wants nothing to do with him, when Feyre tells him to give her time, when Feyre tells Elain that Lucien is a good male.

Sure Feyre has thoughts about Elain and Az but she also has thoughts about Elain and Lucien. Yet it's only with Lucien that she actually talks about Elain just like she spoke about Nesta with Cassian and it's only from Lucien that we see him speak to others about Elain just like we saw Cassian discuss Nesta with Feyre.

When you compare that to Az, he's never once spoken about Elain to anyone, never expressed interest in her state of mind, seeing how she was, if she was struggling after the loss of Graysen or her fathers death, and Elain has never spoken about Az with anyone.

Nesta noted a charged look between Elain and Az but never addressed it with him. Nesta noted Az being Gwyn's new ribbon and was sure to bring it up to him.

It seems pretty apparent that the relationships that are meant to be the focus for the sisters are the ones that Feyre is most involved in.

Feyre is the middle, the go between when it comes to her sisters because even though the original trilogy was about her journey, they were a huge part of it. Therefore the ones her sisters end up with should also be strongly connected to Feyre. We've seen both Cassian and Lucien turn to her about Nesta and Elain on multiple occasions but not Az, he's never sought out Feyre in relation to Elain. In fact, SF reinforces that Feyre and Az are not all that close. Of course they like one another, they care for one another but SF doubled down on Cassian and Feyre's friendship while it built up Nesta and Az's friendship. In SF we were reminded that Feyre had been afraid of Az at first. In SF we see Feyre upset with Az for his torture of the soldiers. In SF we see Az disrespect Feyre's orders and brood when he has to obey. And in the novella and her SF bonus we see Feyre thinking about Elain and Lucien, Az doesn't cross her mind in relation to a romance for her sister.

In HOFAS we see even more development between Az and Nesta, two characters who have not once brought Elain up in conversation. When you consider that Nesta already teased Az about Gwyn that to me suggests that any future relationship conversations would be between Nesta and Az in regards to Gwyn or Nesta and Gwyn in regards to Az in the same way we saw Cassian and Feyre in regards to Nesta and Lucien and Feyre in regards to Elain.

Sarah once spoke of the crazy friendship chemistry that existed between Lucien and Feyre. We saw her give the same treatment to Feyre and Cassian while building the Nesta / Az friendship in SF and HOFAS, pushing Feyre and Az further apart.

Crazy friendship chemistry with Lucien and Cassian sets those characters up nicely to become Feyre's future brother in laws, both mates to her sisters. Lucien and Feyre have experienced ups and downs throughout the series but why would Sarah throw away the friendship which started in book 1 and continued throughout the series only to have him end up with Vassa which gives him no reason to see Feyre on the regular?

Crazy friendship chemistry with Az sets Nesta up to interact with him regularly considering Gwyn is her found family, her "sister" and he helps train the Valkyrie, a storyline that Feyre has nothing to do with, that Elain has nothing to do with.

As with everything Elucien and Gwynriel, the pairings make the most sense. Not only for the relationships themselves but how the pairings effect those around them. There's no need for anyone to have to accept a life without a mate, no need for anyone to have to accept that their LI has a bond with someone else, the friendships with their in-laws would already well established, none of the main characters end up burning bridges with allies because they'd rather sneak around rather than having a mature conversation about what they want.

[yourmomdotcom05]

RISK- LUKE CASTELLAN X POSEIDON FEM!READER

inspired by the song "risk" by Gracie Abrams.

"God, i'm actually invested, haven't even met him, watch this be the wrong thing, classic."

she sat, watching him from afar, in hindsight this was pretty creepy to any outsider who was witnessing the situation. This had become something of a habit, and she couldn't help but wonder if he ever noticed the longing stares that were sent his way. Sure they have had small interactions before, but did he think about them over and over again like she did? would she ever find out? probably not. she continues to stare, zoning out, snapping back into reality when her younger half brother, Percy wove a hand in front of her face, she shook her head in a startled manner, looking over at him confusedly. "what?" she asked softly, not entirely sure if he had been talking or not

"i asked who you were staring at." Percy gave her a deadpanned look. "i wasn't staring at anyone" she rolled her eyes, looking away from his prying eyes, she knew he wasn't gonna let up until she told him the truth, she let out a sigh of defeat. a smile creeped onto Percy's features as he realized he had won.

"fine," she huffed, "Luke" she mumbled, leaning closer to his ear so that he was the only one who could hear her.

"you like him?" Percy questioned. "i think he's nice, not sure if i necessarily like him" she looked over at him, a look of slight frustration on her face as she explained her confusing situation. "he is nice," Percy said, him and Luke were sort of friends, and she hadn't taken that into consideration. "well i'm glad you approve" she spoke sarcastically, it wasn't his opinion she wanted, it was his advice, and help. "i could always talk to him for you" Percy said, she could hear the smirk in his voice, she knew he wanted something. "what do i need to do?" she looked at him desperately. "clean the cabin for a month" Percy grinned. of course. "fine, just please help me" she gave in, she was willing to do anything for a chance, because though she didn't exactly know it, she really did like him.

"i'm on it, boss" Percy nodded in a way to bid his farewell as he made his way over to Luke. she moved to a place that he couldn't see her watching, but where she could still see them.

"hey Luke," Percy greets him with a friendly smile. Luke looks up from his sword that he was sharpening, "what's up?" he looked up at Percy with a nod of acknowledgement,

"oh nothing, i was just talking to my sister when i realized that i left riptide here for it to be fixed." he said, hoping that the casual mention of his sister would spark some sort of conversation about her.

"your sister?" Luke asked, his tone was the usual nonchalant, but deep down, at the mention of the girl that he thought was really pretty, his stomach fluttered in excitement.

"yeah, my sister, you know her?" Percy said, he thought that everything was going smooth so far, and truly, it was.

"yeah, i know her... how is she?" he asked, clearing his throat when his voice sounded slightly nervous, what is wrong with him? Percy thought. "she's good, why do you ask?" Percy smirked, smooth.

"uh... no reason, just um... curious" he replied. Percy looked over to where he knew his sister was standing tilting his head to ask her to come over, immediately she shook her head 'no' when Luke wasn't looking anymore, nervously looking down at his sword. 'yes!' Percy mouthed to her. sighing nervously she made her way over to the pair.

"hey! we were just talking about you!" Percy smiles teasingly at the pair, now having the knowledge that they both like each other.

"you were?" she asks, trying to cover the nervousness in her voice, just as Luke was.

"yeah, i was just talking about the party at the lake tonight, i told Luke that you weren't planning on going, he said he would love it if you came," Percy smiled, if there was one thing he loved most, it was meddling. "i said tha-? oh! yeah, you should definitely come." Luke stopped himself mid sentence, finally realized what Percy was doing.

"oh um... sure, see you there?" she smiled nervously.

"yeah, see you there" he grinned, she's so pretty, he thought as she walked away.

"heard the risk is drowning, but i'm gonna take it"

going to be working on part 2 shortly!!

[sotwk]

Cinder Girl (Fíli x unnamed OC)

Summary: The Crown Prince of Erebor faces the dilemma of losing his heart to a lovely yet humble palace servant.

Word count: 2.4 k

Content: Fluffy, tropey romance and comfort, Durins Live AU, post-BotFA, class division, love confession, Pining Prince Fíli

Rating: General (no warnings apply)

To Read on AO3: Link

Dedication and Inspiration: Thank you to the Anon who inspired this concept long ago by sending me this message! <3

Also for my friend, @guardianofrivendell, a true Fíli aficionado with an incredible repertoire of fics of our beloved Dwarf Prince. You probably don't remember, but this fic fulfills the "Love Confessions" request you made from my Valentine Event in 2023! Better late than never? Welcome back! <3

Cinder Girl 

The Reclaimed Kingdom of Erebor

Third Age 2945

What to do, what to do? The proper thing, of course. The decision should be that simple, and it usually was so for Fíli.  

Except now. Except when it came to her. 

The young dwarf lord tugged on the beaded braid of his mustache and leaned forward in the cushioned bench on which he sat. He made a motion to stand, only to plop back down again with a frustrated grunt. He had been dithering that way for the last ten minutes, at least. 

And he had spent twice as long sitting there, only half ashamed of allowing himself to enjoy the sight that surprised him when he returned to his chambers following a day-long council meeting. 

I am just looking, is all, Fíli reminded himself, desperate to excuse his poor manners. He knew the right thing to do would be to gently wake her, assure her that she was in no trouble, and allow her to discreetly exit the room she should never have been caught in. 

Surely this was a sign. A gift from Mahal himself, to force his stubborn, weak arse into action. Yet there he was again, he who was hailed as the Lion of Erebor, one of the bravest warriors in the kingdom, just sitting there stupidly, staring as he always did, because he could never find neither strength nor courage to do anything else in the presence of this dwarrowdam that stole the very breath from his lungs. 

Even as she lay there on the lush fur rug by the fireplace, in a cozy warmth that likely had lulled her to sleep, her presence paralyzed him. She was that very rare gem, found only once in a generation, exquisite in itself without need for cutting or polishing, or settings of gold, or other fine stones to accompany it. 

"Beyond beautiful," Fíli thought, and his chest filled with both longing and wonderment of how utterly she had ensnared him with so little effort, with such little awareness of the effect she caused.

She had dazzled Fíli the moment she cast her first smile and first spoke his name, and from then on the prince was blind to all others. When she laughed, Fíli finally understood why his brother Kíli constantly acted the fool just to earn that sweet sound from his own lady’s lips.

And so Fíli neglected to mention the titles that accompanied his name, and as a result he was able to enjoy hours of conversations with the newcomer from the Blue Mountains, basking in her uninhibited laughter and open stories and playful touches.

But the ruse would not last even a month. When she finally discovered that the new “friend” who had welcomed her to Erebor was actually King Thorin’s heir, next-in-line to the throne of Durin, an invisible wall rose between them. She never laughed in the same way around him again. She remained friendly and kind, yes, but every action toward him was suddenly restrained by prim courtesy. Their once animated conversations were dampened by measured, cautious responses. Even her beautiful smile was dimmed by a strange sadness, as though the knowledge of his royal identity disappointed her. 

"Please, you don't have to…" he said, when he once tried to stop her from bowing to him as they passed each other in the hall. 

"It is only proper, my lord," she murmured, keeping her lovely eyes lowered to her feet, only doubling Fíli's frustrations. "I bid you a good day, Prince Fíli."

And she hurried away with her cleaning pail in tow, before Fíli could offer to help, before he could muster up the nerve to invite her to dinner, which was why he had come down to the servants’ hall in the first place. All he had succeeded in doing was send the tongues of the palace domestic staff wagging. 

Eventually Fíli's despair grew heavy enough that he sought Balin's counsel, daring not to broach the topic with the one person who could completely relieve him of his fear: that no future was possible between the Heir of Durin and a dwarf not only from a different clan, but without rank or advantages. 

Balin remained silent while Fíli laid out his entire predicament--during the prince’s impassioned speech, and a long while after. Too long, so much that the thoughtful calm Fíli usually admired in his sagacious old cousin only set his teeth on edge.

“I must say this is troubling news to hear indeed,” Balin finally spoke, tugging thoughtfully at his beard.

“Troubling?!” Fíli exclaimed. “How could you already deem it as such when you have not yet met her? What matters her lack of status when she is the sweetest and gentlest soul to ever bless me with her company?! That is, until she decided she could no longer tolerate my presence,” he amended glumly. 

“Calm yourself, boy.” Balin chuckled between sips of his ale. “You have only ever raved this passionately about very few things before, and never about a bonnie lass. For a moment I thought I might actually be speaking to Kíli.”

“That isn't close to either the comfort or counsel I was hoping for, Balin.”

“Harrumph. That is because I have neither of those things for you, lad! What you need is to be slapped back into your senses!” Balin shook a stout finger at the dwarf-prince. “Have you so little knowledge or faith in your Uncle that you could not bring this matter straight to him?”

Fíli drew back, eyebrows lifted in bewilderment. “I thought he would scoff at the frivolity of it, before declaring my desire for her as unsuitable.”

“Because the girl is common?” Balin snorted when Fíli nodded. “It would wound Thorin so deeply to hear this, that I shall not even bother repeating your words to him.” He reached across the dinner table to grip Fíli’s arm. “Your Uncle risked his life, risked everything to take back this Mountain for you, my boy. To give you the future that he felt you deserved. Do you think that future is all about gold?”

Balin smiled and slapped Fíli gently on his slack-jawed face. “It is about choice, and freedom. The freedom to chase whatever dreams you wish. Go and speak to Thorin. It appears there is much he needs to clarify about his expectations of you as the realm’s prince and his heir.” 

Fíli had genuinely intended to heed Balin’s advice to discuss things with his uncle. But after failing to quickly gain an audience with the chronically busy king, he let his nerves conquer him yet again, as he put off pursuing that conversation. And so day after day passed with him stuck in the plight of his own making… leading at last to that evening, when the source of his agony literally lay right before him inside his own chambers, demanding to be dealt with.

The more time passed with him just sitting and staring at the sleeping chambermaid, the longer each minute seemed to stretch, and the more ridiculous Fili felt in his inertness. 

Just when his frustration came to its peak, and he felt unable to tolerate himself any longer, the prince rose quietly and stepped towards the figure on the fur rug. 

A pounding knock barely gave him any warning before his chamber door swung wide open and Kili barreled inside. “Did you not say you were starving, brother? What is taking you so--??”

Kili stopped short, his wide-eyed stare darting between Fili and the lady that had stumbled to her feet, disheveled and disoriented. It was impossible to tell who looked more mortified by his arrival. 

“Have I… am I interrupting something?”

“I am so very sorry, milords!” the maiden blurted out. “I didn't mean to, I---I am so--!” Her ashen face suddenly colored by the violence of her embarrassment, she grabbed her cleaning pail from the hearth. The contents rattled inside the metal bucket, so badly did her hands shake as she gave a hasty curtsy to the royal princes.

“N-no, no wait, please… h-hold on for just a moment--” Fili began, when his tongue finally came unstuck from the roof of his mouth, but it was too late. She rushed across the room and straight out the open door without ever lifting her gaze off the ground. 

“Brother, I am sorry, I didn't know--”

Fili brushed aside the apology and scrambled past Kili to fly out into the hallway. Panic had broken through his earlier paralysis and suddenly he could not move fast enough, his body acting beyond the constraints of his judgment. 

He called after her; the sound of her name and his footsteps chased her down the empty corridor. But to Fili's dismay she did not stop or even slow down, and just as she was about to turn a corner and descend the stairs leading from the palace wing, a desperate shout escaped containment, partially strangled in the tightness of his throat, but still too loud to be ignored. 

“I love you, all right?! I love you!!”

The frantic clatter of the metal pail ceased, and all Fili could hear against the ensuing silence was the roar of his pulse beneath his ears. In several strides, he closed the distance to come before the maiden. She stayed rooted to the spot and motionless, apart from the heaving of her bosom as she chased her breath. 

“This was not how I wanted you to find out.” The calm in his own voice surprised Fili, as did the confidence that drove his words. “But I also do not wish to take it back. Hiding from the truth has gained me nothing but pain.”

“I appreciate your candor, milord, and I regret your pain.” She continued to address him, but her eyes remained firmly lowered towards her hands, white-knuckled in their grip around the pail handle. “But what am I to do with these fine words you offer? How can a peasant be worthy to receive the affections of a prince?”

“Worthy?” Fíli repeated in distaste. “What causes you to believe that you must be worthy to--?”

“You are the future King of Erebor.” She spoke loudly over him, as though she had not heard him at all, or was determined not to. “The blood of Durin the Deathless runs in you! I am just a nobody from a Broadbeam village in the Blue Mountains--” 

“I was born in such a village, same as my father!” Fíli cut her off with matching fervor. “And you are certainly not ‘just a nobody’ to me.”

Something in his words finally reached her, for at last she raised her bowed head ever so slightly, just enough for her gaze to meet his, and the tears that shimmered in her eyes wiped away the last of his hesitation.

“We are not different, ghivashel. Not in any way that matters.”

Her smile that bloomed at that word, one that proclaimed her more precious than any treasure in Erebor, revived a light in him that had gone out in the long weeks of her absence. 

When Fíli reached out to relieve her of the cleaning pail, she did not resist. Grasping her wrist, he rested her open hand upon his. He swept his thumb back and forth all across her palm, over the red scrapes and dirt-streaked calluses that made her all the more beautiful and admirable in his eyes.

“Not long ago, I spent each waking day with my face smeared in soot, my arms and hands burnt from the blaze of forge fires, aching to the bone after hours of back-breaking labor.”

He pushed up his tunic sleeve to show her: the patches of discolored skin from old burns, the countless scars that littered the entire length of his arm, almost to his elbow. 

“But I would always go to bed happy, and proud of my honest living, of the smith that I was.” He shook his head and corrected himself. “The smith that I am. Whatever titles and additional duties I may now carry as a consequence of my inheritance, I am still that same soot-covered dwarf.”

He sealed her hand between his two and lightly kissed the fingertips that peeked out from the cage of his palms.

“All I ask is for a chance to show you that,” he said softly. “With the hope that you might come to love what you see in me. For I have already, absolutely, fallen in love with everything I see in you.”

Her silence filled the entire length of the passageway, all the way up to the high ceilings. Under the crushing weight of its persistence, Fíli’s hope started to falter. But as the fear of his failure to convince her started to creep in, his grip all the more tightened around her hand. He couldn't let go. He did not know how he could ever let her go.

“From the first day we met,” she finally spoke. “I already loved everything I saw in you…Fíli of the Blue Mountains.” She tipped her chin up and squared her shoulders, face set with resolution alongside her gentle smile. “I think that love can bring me the courage I need to let the other side of you, Prince Fíli of Erebor, into my heart as well.” 

Fíli’s entire being swelled with such relief and unbridled joy he thought he might catch flame. His arms found themselves around her waist, drawing her close to his desire to demonstrate the feelings he had restrained for too long.

Alas, a sudden and deafening crash rang through the hall to cut off Fíli’s eager quest.  “Sorry, sorry!” yelped a guilty voice in the shadows.

Fíli groaned, then chuckled, and settled for another chase kiss upon his lady’s hand. 

“Would you care to have dinner with my brother and I?” he asked her, nodding in the direction of the ruckus as Kíli struggled to straighten up the decorative suit of armor he had knocked over. “An unrepentant snoop he may be, but I can assure you he is otherwise harmless and actually quite pleasant company.”

“It sounds like a wonderful start to getting to know the rest of you,” she said, eyes bright from their shared laughter, free of even a speck of her earlier doubts. “Because I very much would like to know everything, Fíli. To discover and delight in every wonderful bit of you.”

“And you shall have that,” Fíli vowed, brushing his thumb over the curve of her cheek, over an ashy mark of the fireplace cinders that had brought her back to him. “You already do have me, but I shall also endeavor to give the whole world to make you happy.”

“You are already the whole world,” she declared, and rose on her toes to do what he could not, sealing their confessions with a sound kiss.

For more SotWK Fanfiction: Fanfiction Masterlist

Other useful links:

Introduction to SotWK

Headcanon Masterlist

[tempests-bards-and-birds]

Venti Week Day 1: Old Friends

for this! this is woefully late and i deeply apologise for that but i have been busy for the last couple of days so. shhh no it's not :) (i'm also not that happy with it and it has not been beta read or even edited but i'm tired so. yeah)

anyway! a conversation between venti and rukkhadevata because i'm Normal

The grass under Venti’s feet rustled with a soft sigh as he sat down on the mound, the dappled sunlight that slid lazily through the canopy of trees above them casting a rippling glow over the clearing. Almost absentmindedly, he brought a hand to his lyre, strumming a few chords and watching as the bustle of the children of the forest ceased, just for a moment, as the gentle notes lingered in the air, their sudden stillness practically thrumming with anticipation.

A soft, bright laugh rang from where his companion was sitting cross-legged on the plush forest floor.

“It seems like they really like that one - you’ve truly outdone yourself if you’ve managed to enthral the Aranara to that extent, Barbatos.”

Rukkhadevata’s fingers were playing idly with the fronds of grass, a certain light seeming to pulse through them just at her touch. She glanced up at him, her lips curved in a knowing smile.

Rolling his eyes, Venti flicked a light gust of wind in her direction, the blanketing warmth of the rainforest air serving to grant it a softness that completely removed any and all possibility of actually annoying its recipient.

“Aw, you flatter me - truth be told, it would be remiss of me to not admit that a lot of the inspiration for that tune came from those lovely dreams of yours.” Humming, he plucked out a few more notes, the Aranara’s hesitance seemingly giving way to their curiosity as they began to crowd around him in expectation. “Nevertheless, I’m glad that your friends are enjoying my little impromptu performance.”

She raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh, is that so? Well, I’m truly flattered that they were able to be of such use to you in your creative endeavours. It is only right that the wisdom found in dreams should be able to inspire some of the purest expressions of emotion.”

Venti nodded, her almost immediate understanding of his intentions tugging at a certain hollowness in his chest - one that he knew could never be filled again in the same way; and yet, Rukkhadevata’s respect for the value of song still served to ignite a similar warmth in the absence; it was, in some ways, enough.

“Perhaps that’s why they seem to be so fond of this number in particular then, huh.” He mused lightly as he cast over the lushness of the clearing that was absolutely brimming with life. “Well, if it is able to remain in their memory and the memory of this forest, then I’d be glad of it.”

He glanced back towards his friend, and just for a second, the serene smile on her lips seemed to falter, a flicker of uncertainty showing through for just a second before it returned, though it now no longer shone quite as brightly with the relaxed joy that it had done so with earlier, when all that had been hanging in the air in the clearing between them had been jovial music and laughter.

“Yes,” she breathed, almost inaudible against the constantly thrumming backdrop of life in between the trees and the leaves. “The forest will remember these songs - it will remember the emotion and the wisdom carried within them, even if the one who first inspired them is no longer present.” 

The strands of wind rustling in the branches stilled as the suddenness of her words started to seep through, slow yet creeping like the chill of the morning dew that still clung to the blades of grass beneath them, like the almost unnoticeable piercing of the subtly sharp fragments of shattered magnifying glasses. On the surface, he of course knew what she was referring to; the endless, repeating flow of memory through the wind, through the trees, through the ley lines; the communal ownership of such memories, and how the stories they told would eventually come to belong to those who told them, and not those who first penned them. They both knew this as an irrefutable fact of this world, but the quiet conviction with which she said it caused Venti an unnamable pause.

For once, the words felt stilted, as though they were tripping from his lips, as he dared voice a question.

“You… you mean that…”

“Barbatos,” she said firmly, suddenly, her eyes meeting his in a look of steady assurance, “if everyone in this world were to forget that you were the writer of the songs they love so much; if they were to forget you, and still enjoy the gifts of music that you gave them without a second thought for who the giver of those gifts might be, what would you do?”

Would you resent them? Would you allow them to resent you for leaving?

He pondered the question for a handful of seconds, the meaning of her previous statement seeming all the clearer now. The thousands of responses he could give sat heavy on his tongue, before he took the one that felt right, and carefully laid it out between them.

“I think that I would be glad that they had found meaning in those songs without feeling as though they had to because I was the one who gave them to them; I think that I would be glad to see them still enjoy and share those songs together, not because someone made them, but because in doing so they would be able to create new meanings from them together.” He paused, breathing in the scent of ancient wood that hung in the air, before continuing, a light smile playing on his lips. “After all, isn’t that what knowledge is all about, o mighty God of Wisdom?”

He watched her eyes flicker with slight surprise, a small gasp escaping her lips before they curved ever so lightly into a smile, her hands folding over one another as she chuckled.

“Thank you. I think you’re right - I simply hope that whatever’s left will be enough for the provocation of the enlightening discussions of which you spoke.”

Venti huffed. 

“You know, I’ll do my best to remember and contribute in all the ways I can, too.”

Her newfound certainty seemed to lighten something in the space between them, or perhaps cause it to slide into place, or at least the light laughter that rang out in response to that made it sound that way.

“I know - and thank you, Venti.”

[buddiesmutslut]

Oh goodness all of those wip sound so fascinating to me lol. Like I had trouble picking and even then I can’t decide between these two 😅😅 🙏

1. Military Past Witsec

2. Writer!Buck Mafia!Eddie

The s5 shooting but different - The Diaz parents being themselves and Buck learning about The Will while grieving his best friend. Presumed Dead bc it's such a fun trope, with the pain & angst lol. Snippet below <3

“No, he was fine! Bob-Bobby, he was fine. He was talking in the engine, he can’t be- he wouldn’t- no, no no, no, no.” He refuses, dodging his captain’s touch and shaking his head viciously. “No! Eddie wouldn’t, he couldn’t have-” The words get caught in his throat, sobs lodging in his airways and making it impossible to breathe. 

Bobby finally gets ahold of his flailing limbs and holds him steady, forcing eye contact as he says what he came to say, as gently as possible. “Doctors called TOD about 45 minutes ago. He had lost too much blood in the beginning, they thought they had him stable, but there was a lot of strain on his heart, a heart that was already damaged by a piece of his collarbone that had broken off. His organs started to shut down, and they did everything they could, but it was just too much. Eddie died, Buck. I’m so sorry.”

2. This is inspired by a TikTok I shared on here a few days ago, abt a serial killer & a writer falling in love and the shenanigans that ensue from that. Eddie is down BAD immediately & I'm kind of obsessed. Snippet below!

Evan laughs again, eyes twinkling in mirth, and Eddie is done for. 

Is it possible to fall in love with someone in one conversation? They’ve barely been speaking for more than a few minutes, and he already wants to know everything single thing that makes Evan tick. Wants to learn all of his hopes and dreams and fears and make him laugh and hold him and kiss that birthmark and taste those lips and- 

“Well, firefighter Eddie Diaz, I don’t suppose you’d be willing to stick around and let me pick your brain for your practical knowledge?” Evan raises an eyebrow, hopefully, and Eddie checks his watch. 

Chris is already at school, since it started before he got off shift. He’s still tired, but until it’s time to pick his son up, he doesn’t have anything else he needs to do today. 

He nods. “I just got off, so let me get some caffeine in me, and I’m all yours.” He promises, the words coming out far huskier than he intended, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the way they made Evan’s eyes darken, throat bobbing with a swallow. 

I'm actually so excited about both of these fic honestly, thank you so much for asking about them 🫶 The first one is almost done, I just have to finish writing up a couple more things & then I'll be posting it! I'm also working on my novel tho, so idk how soon that update will be, but it's coming lol.

[icterid-rubus]

Okay but are dating apps hard for everyone to use? I literally have to sit and agonize over swiping right on someone for days. I gotta mentally map out every potential conversation and subsistent 50 years of marriage I could have with the stranger based on the allotted paragraph bio.

[vaugarde]

alsooooo btwwwww ive been thinking of timeline stuff for my kirbyverse and i think like, for the most part all the main series games are in chronological order except for kirby super star (ultra), which chronologically happens first. super star is basically kirby’s origin story and how he became the hero of dreamland and popstar 

(i also like it bc super star ultra was kumazaki’s first real kirby game as director and thats the start of his modern kirby content so its like a new beginning for that era as well as being the start of kirby’s journey)

[trans-leek-cookie]

someone talking about the ways media and common tropes/depictions of things that are either explicitly or implicitly linked to marginalized people are demonized and presented badly is not a fucking opportunity for you to flex how you're doing it Differently And Better

[crystalkitty1220]

Might have to scrap a fic idea because I thought the panic that came with time moving too slowly or too quickly was a universal thing, but now I'm realizing I probably have chronophobia and the fic might not feel the same to other people. Don't want it to drag on or feel rushed if readers won't get the same kind of anxiety the character's getting.

[chuluoyi]

✎ wife

- gojo satoru x reader

in which the new batch of first years are unaware that their eccentric teacher's wife is the pretty woman roaming the school grounds

genre: fluff, crack, gojo being a silly little menace as always, yuji and nobara are confused, an attempt at humor, lovesick gojo, mention of breastfeeding

note: it’s so silly but i had fun writing this! based on a request by anon (thank you!) but i tweaked it a bit and partly inspired by this fanart. reader is also a teacher at jujutsu high and has a baby with gojo—loosely a continuation of protect

a part of gojo's love entries

series masterlist | oneshot masterlist

"Take that off immediately!"

"Kyaaah~! Yuji is here, you pervert!"

Yuji was a laughing mess. Megumi and Nobara collectively sighed. Nanami attempted to retrieve his once-immaculate suit, now a crumpled mess, from the one and only Gojo Satoru, who found humor in stealing his signature attire and impersonating the stern-faced Nanami in front of his fresh batch of first years.

"He is incorrigible," Nobara grumbled, her eyes slitting. They said that he was a strong sorcerer, possibly the strongest there was, but she found it really hard to believe.

Megumi threw her a deadpan stare. With many years of putting up with this kind of antics under his belt, he pitied her for not knowing that this was far from the worst. "Yeah, he is."

"How does anyone ever put up with him?"

That was actually a good question. "We don't..." Megumi paused, recalling each and every occasion where he tried to do so. "His wife is probably the only one who can."

Nobara sputtered, spinning towards him. "What the—wife? That annoying man has an actual, living, breathing wife?"

"Who? Gojo-sensei?" Yuji chimed in, jumping into the conversation, leaving the supposedly two adults in their catfight. Nanami was still clawing to get his suit back, and Gojo continued to giggle and evade him, playfully running away.

Nobara scoffed. "I bet the woman just married him for the money. He comes from prestigious clan, yes? That must be it."

Yuji felt his eyes would pop out of its sockets. "What are you talking about, Kugisaki!? What woman—"

"Shut up, Itadori! Don't be too loud!"

Nobara and Yuji's unharmonious ruckus irritated Megumi to the bone, and he decided that the best course of action now was to leave them all in the dust. With a glare and a shake of his head, he stalked away.

And thus the two new first years were left with half-truths that would lead them into a major misadventure later that day—

—which happened when they spotted Nanami with you, whom they were still unfamiliar with.

They were convinced that Gojo’s wife must be some sort of boring tramp eyeing his wealth and not this positively radiant, mature woman, and so ruling that possibility out, they positively swooned at the sight before them.

"He's irresponsible, egotistical—" snippets of Nanami's frustrated words conveyed enough to paint a picture of Gojo's character. He was definitely ranting about Gojo to you.

"Is that Nanamin's wife?" Yuji mused, a hint of pink tinting his cheeks. "She is so pretty..."

"They... look cute together," Nobara hummed with dreamy eyes, and then looked at Yuji sharply. "And yes, she's indeed pretty, but know your place, Itadori!"

"I know!"

Based on how the two of you interacted, they concluded that you must have been close, with the way Nanami visibly relaxed around you, and not as formal as he was with anyone else. They highly suspected that the two of you were married, as you wore a ring, which was the ultimate sign.

"And how's the baby?" Nanami asked then, directing the question to you with a smile on his face, prompting surprised gasps from both Yuji and Nobara.

You were glowing, to say the least, and when you let out a small giggle at his question, even both students couldn't miss the way your expression exuded pure happiness. "He is well. Ah, I really wanted to bring him along too, but he was a little messy after eating so I left him at home. You can see him later…"

Yuji gaped. "So it's true..."

"Oh my gosh... and they have a baby." Nobara almost squealed.

And that sealed it. The headline of the day: Nanami is married to this stunning woman wandering the school grounds.

So imagine their utter shock when the second time they found you, you were with Gojo, and he was shamelessly snogging you in the hallway.

“Why are you here?” Gojo was breathless after the soul-sucking kiss he smothered you. His tone remained playful yet carried a clear undertone of concern. "You're still on maternity leave. I'll make sure Yaga knows that."

“Satoru,” you whined, and the use of his given name made Yuji and Nobara gasp in disbelief. “I’m perfectly okay and I don’t need to breastfeed anymore. I should start getting back to work.”

Nobara seemed to finally understand the implication. But Yuji didn’t. His mind flitting from one scandalous idea to another—

Gojo-sensei seducing Nanamin’s wife? Nanamin’s wife cheating on him with Gojo-sensei?

In the brief period he spent with Gojo, Yuji realized that he didn't exactly have a reputation for decency. So despite himself, he could only muster up this one word: “Homewrecker. Homewrecker!”

Yuji’s shriek took all three of you by surprise, and now both you and Gojo were aware of his presence.

“You absolute idiot,” Nobara hissed, face-palming.

“Oh, Yuji? Nobara?” Gojo genially asked, his concern towards you quickly dissolved into a meaningful smirk on his face. “And what do you mean by—?”

Yuji yelped. “You! You are! You’re trying to seduce Nanamin’s wife!”

Silence. Gojo’s eyes twitched beyond his blindfold. You blinked. Nobara wanted to save herself from the second-hand embarrassment. And his loud voice caught the attention of Megumi too, who was close by.

“You seem to be mistaken. First of all, Nanami isn’t married,” Gojo said with a strained voice, maintaining his smile. He then gestured at you, showing you off with pride. “And this here, is my wife.”

“Y-your wife?!” Yuji exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger. “H-how?! I saw her with Nanamin! Talking about a baby—”

“That would be my baby.”

“But how?!”

“Yuji, do you want me to give you a crash course in baby-making—”

“Satoru!”

You sent him a glare and turned to the young first years with a smile. "You must be the new first years? I’m Y/N, and I’m in charge of the second years.” You gestured towards your husband. “And please, ignore most things he says. He’s a bit crass, and if you ever feel he's harassed you, don't hesitate to report it to me."

“Wifey! How could you!”

“Shut up, Satoru! You’re embarrassing yourself!”

“What are you doing here?” Megumi inquired with a deep frown, getting between Yuji and Nobara as they stared at Gojo in total bewilderment.

Yuji exclaimed in disbelief, pointing at you. “Fushiguro! Gojo-sensei’s wife is a beauty!”

“…I know that already.”

Nobara whipped her head towards him. "You knew?! Since when?!"

“They… took me in.”

“THEY WHAT?!”

Gojo grinned at their chorus of surprise. “And what a fine boy he turns out to be, eh?”

Megumi scowled, but Gojo wasn’t bothered at all. If anything, what offended him was—

"What makes you think my dear wife here belongs to Nanami instead of me?" he joked with a mock scoff, earning an eye roll from you.

Nobara and Yuji blurted out their thoughts simultaneously.

“They look good together?”

“Nanamin is dependable?”

Gojo gasped dramatically, one hand flying to his mouth. "So, not only do I not look good with her, but I also don't seem dependable enough?" He turned to you with the most aghast expression. “Tell me that isn’t true—”

You shot him a withering look, deadpanning, “Actually, you might be.”

And Gojo clutched his chest, letting out an anguished cry.

Epilogue

“Satoru… come on, you know I was joking.”

Your dramatic ass of a husband had his head on your lap, hugging your torso tight. The pout on his face hadn’t faded a bit ever since he was done with his class, and now on your marital bed, he was clinging to you with all of his might.

He shook his head petulantly, clicking his tongue. “You’ve embarrassed me in front of my students. You’re so mean!”

You sighed. “I’m sure you have made a fool out of yourself far often. This is insignificant.”

“Hmph! How could you say that?! I don't care if it's me, but I can't believe that it's coming from you! I shower you with my undivided love each and every day!”

“Yeah, yeah…”

Somehow seeing him like this made your heart lurch. He reminded you so much of your baby boy who was sleeping right in the next room that you couldn't resist smiling and pinching his cheeks.

“Okay, okay. My husband is handsome, looks good with me and definitely someone I can rely on,” you relented, and like a lightbulb going off, Satoru suddenly beamed so wide that you were certain his cheeks hurt.

“That’s more like it! Now, now, there’s only one way that can prove how responsible I am! Let me just fill you up with another baby—”

You smacked him on the head.

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

FYI artists and writers: some info regarding tumblr's new "third-party sharing" (aka selling your content to OpenAI and Midjourney)

You may have already seen the post by @staff regarding third-party sharing and how to opt out. You may have also already seen various news articles discussing the matter.

But here's a little further clarity re some questions I had, and you may too. Caveat: Not all of this is on official tumblr pages, so it's possible things may change.

(1) "I heard they already have access to my data and it doesn't really matter if I opt out"

From the 404 article:

A new FAQ section we reviewed is titled “What happens when you opt out?” states “If you opt out from the start, we will block crawlers from accessing your content by adding your site on a disallowed list. If you change your mind later, we also plan to update any partners about people who newly opt-out and ask that their content be removed from past sources and future training.”

So please, go click that opt-out button.

(2) Some future user: "I've been away from tumblr for months, and I just heard about all this. I didn't opt out before, so does it make a difference anymore?"

Another internal document shows that, on February 23, an employee asked in a staff-only thread, “Do we have assurances that if a user opts out of their data being shared with third parties that our existing data partners will be notified of such a change and remove their data?” Andrew Spittle, Automattic’s head of AI replied: “We will notify existing partners on a regular basis about anyone who's opted out since the last time we provided a list. I want this to be an ongoing process where we regularly advocate for past content to be excluded based on current preferences. We will ask that content be deleted and removed from any future training runs. I believe partners will honor this based on our conversations with them to this point. I don't think they gain much overall by retaining it.”

It should make a difference! Go click that button.

(3) "I opted out, but my art posts have been reblogged by so many people, and I don't know if they all opted out. What does that mean for my stuff?"

This answer is actually on the support page for the toggle:

This option will prevent your blog's content, even when reblogged, from being shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models.

And some further clarification by the COO and a product manager:

zingring: A couple people from work have reached out to let me know that yes, it applies to reblogs of "don't scrape" content. If you opt out, your content is opted out, even in reblog form. cyle: yep, for reblogs, we're taking it so far as "if anybody in the reblog trail has opted out, all of the content in that reblog will be opted out", when a reblog could be scraped/shared.

So not only your reblogged posts, but anyone who contributed in a reblog (such as posts where someone has been inspired to draw fanart of the OP) will presumably be protected by your opt-out. (A good reason to opt out even if you yourself are not a creator.)

Furthermore, if you the OP were offline and didn't know about the opt-out, if someone contributed to a reblog and they are opted out, then your original work is also protected. (Which makes it very tempting to contribute "scrapeable content" now whenever I reblog from an abandoned/disused blog...)

(4) "What about deleted blogs? They can't opt out!"

I was told by someone (not official) that he read "deleted blogs are all opted-out by default". However, he didn't recall the source, and I can't find it, so I can't guarantee that info. If I get more details - like if/when tumblr puts up that FAQ as reported in the 404 article - I will add it here as soon as I can.

Edit, tumblr has updated their help page for the option to opt-out of third-party sharing! It now states:

The content which will not be shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models, includes: • Posts and reblogs of posts from blogs who have enabled the "Prevent third-party sharing" option. • Posts and reblogs of posts from deleted blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from password-protected blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from explicit blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from suspended/deactivated blogs. • Private posts. • Drafts. • Messages. • Asks and submissions which have not been publicly posted. • Post+ subscriber-only posts. • Explicit posts.

So no need to worry about your old deleted blogs that still have reblogs floating around. *\o/*

But for your existing blogs, please use the opt out option. And a reminder of how to opt out, under the cut:

The opt-out toggle is in Blog Settings, and please note you need to do it for each one of your blogs / sideblogs.

On dashboard, the toggle is at https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/blogname [replace "blogname" as applicable] down by Visibility:

For mobile, you need the most recent update of the app. (Android version 33.4.1.100, iOs version 33.4.) Then go to your blog tab (the little person icon), and then the gear icon for Settings, then click Visibility.

Again, if you have a sideblog, go back to the blog tab, switch to it, and go to settings again. Repeat as necessary.

If you do not have access to the newest version of the app for whatever reason, you can also log into tumblr in your mobile browser. Same URL as per desktop above, same location.

Note you do not need to change settings in both desktop and the app, just one is fine.

I hope this helps!

[sillyblues]

𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐨’𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐠𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you overhear a couple of spider-people talking about you and miguel

ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: inspired by a scene of a drama i saw in tiktok at 11:30 pm whoops here’s a small scenario while i work on that hiding pregnancy with miguel fic

part 2

You hummed to yourself as you walked towards Miguel’s room. You were so excited to talk to him about how your days went and if you were lucky, maybe you’d get to hear how his day went as well. It wasn’t like he doesn’t talk about himself, of course he does, you two were practically the bestest of friends now. It’s just that nowadays, he seemed more stressed and preferred to listen to you talk. Or at least you hoped so. He never really complained each time you rambled his ears off (which was like 83790134 times a day oops).

But a mention of your name in a hushed conversation stops your tracks.

“... [Name] is pretty close to Miguel, huh?” the conversation was actually a bit far from where you stood but thanks to your extreme superhearing, you were able to hear what they were talking about. You tilted your head. I wonder why they’re talking about me…

“Nah, I don’t think so. Miguel doesn’t even seem to like them.” You grumbled under your breath. That’s just what it looked like to others. They didn’t know that you know Miguel’s favourite empanadas are the ones sold by a Mexican granny on a stand right around the corner outside the building. They didn’t know that Miguel actually remembers what you say to him and even reacts to your stories. If that isn’t what you call friends in their natural behaviour, you don’t know what to call it.

“Yeah, it’s probably because they never stop talking. Their mouth just never know how to close for at least 10 minutes.”

“Miguel is probably annoyed at them. I wonder how he manages to keep his patience from running out with them.”

You bit your lip. Yeah, they were right…You admit that you talk a lot and you do feel a bit bad about it. But your friends haven’t told you to stop talking or that you were bothering them yet so you thought it was fine with them. If your friends said something about it, you would definitely stop and try to talk less for them. You were sure your friends would say something if they were uncomfortable, especially Miguel. You believe in them and you believe in him.

“I know right! If I was him, I would…” so you took a step forward and continued to walk towards your destination. Only this time, you weren’t humming.

.

.

.

“Hi, Miguel! Good afternoon! Such a lovely day, isn’t it?” you quirked up immediately as soon as you stepped foot into his office. As usual, he was on top of his floating station. Most of the time, he worked on planning and storing files with Lyla about which planets had been reported with anomalies. Sometimes, he watched videos of his daughter Gabriella and himself despite having already seen them countless times.

Miguel was lonely. You could see that. Sure, he had Jess and Hobie and Peter, but Jess was pregnant, Hobie was busy fighting against the government and being cool, and Peter had Mayday. You try your best to be with him because maybe he would feel less lonely with you around for him. Maybe he would be distracted by whatever you say from his exhaustion and his pain.

You swung yourself and landed on his platform. He was standing with multiple yellow screens hovered almost around him. His hands were on his waist and there was a glare on his face as he stared at it. He gave you a brief glance before turning his attention back to his work. Well, looks like today is a busy work day for him, huh. 

“Hey booo,” Lyla appeared in front of you and waved. You grinned at her. “Hey, Lyla! What’s up?”

“Ugh nothing much, except for Mr. O’hara on his red flood apparently.” She leaned and covered the side of her lips to whisper but it was no use to the said person with his abilities.

“I heard that.” His exasperated response was instant but he didn’t look away from the screen.

“Really? You did?” She asked with a higher and tightened voice with amusement. She then flashed a quick message to you. 

Miguel has been working even after you left three days ago. He wouldn’t take a rest no matter how many times I told him.

What? You looked at the back of his head in alarm. Worry immediately settled in your head and you furrowed your brows. Before you could convince him to stop, Lyla quickly made the message disappear and announced, “Oops, my power is running low. Gotta charge them now, byeeee.”

“I literally just checked your levels yesterday. Come back here—” he was cut off by her disappearing form.

He groaned and in his frustration, he swapped away the nearby items on the table. Most of them were papers but unfortunately, he didn’t notice he also swept away the teddy bear that you gifted him. It was similar to one Gabriella had and you knew this from the videos you watched with him. You thought how nice it would be to have at least a physical reminder of your love and not just ones you can see and hear. 

“I’ll get it, don’t worry!”

From his strength, the bear was flung high and without even thinking you walked backwards as you focused on its direction. You were being stupid because you forgot that you were on top of a floating platform and the floor wasn’t endless. The bear was almost near within your reach and with just one more step, you would be able to get it.

That one more step didn’t step on any solid floor but instead on air and so, you fell but not without the teddy bear in your hands. 

“[Name]!” Miguel shouted and you looked at him and finally, he was looking at you now. He ran at your falling figure with arms reaching out to you and for a second, you thought there was a tinge of panic and desperation laced in his hoarse voice and wide eyes. 

Sticky web was shot at your chest and you were quickly pulled towards him. You were hit against his figure and he caught you in his arms. You stilled and flushed, your ear was pressed against his chest and you could hear his roaring heart that beat so fast. He immediately shook you by your shoulders and yelled at you. “What were you thinking? Why weren’t you looking?”

“I mean, I was trying to catch it—” you flinched.

“Are you stupid? ¿y si te lastimas?” his nails were digging into your skin and his grip was beginning to hurt. You tried to laugh but came it off weakly.

“I just don’t want to see my gift get dirty. Besides, I’m fine—,” you tried to joke, hoping it would ease the tension and calm him down.

“Just shut up! Shut up!” he pushed you away with a growl, “Stop being so fucking reckless. I could have done it by myself. Stop annoying other people by doing stupid shit like this!”

He was breathing heavily, anger so deep in his eyes. Your eyes were wide and tears threatened to fall as you listened until it finally fell once he said his final word. Maybe the realization had finally settled in Miguel’s mind at what he had just said. His eyes widened in panic and reached out to you but you took a step back.

Your head hung low as you let his words sink in. Annoying? You couldn't even laugh bitterly like you usually do in situations like this. They were right. You were annoying him. You bit your lip. Had you been a bother to him all this time? How come Miguel never said anything?

Suddenly, his cold indifference to you was so clear and obvious now. Memories of him visibly annoyed with a frown flashed through your head. The sudden awareness made your head hurt and it burned your heart. It throbbed with a pang and you felt incapable of breathing, the pain overwhelming.

No, Miguel wasn't responsible for telling you this. You should've known better, you called yourself his “bestest friend”. You shouldn't have talked to him. You shouldn't have approached him in the first place.

You were annoying. You were a nuisance. You were a problem.

Stupid. Stupidstupidstupidstupid—

“[Name], I,” he sighed, “I’m sorry. I didn't mean—”

“No, it's fine,” you wiped your tears and pressed the teddy bear you gifted him and wanted to catch for him. You wonder if this bear was also a bother for him. Maybe it was. Everything related to you is irritating. You were tiresome. “I should be the one to say that. I’m sorry.”

“I need to go now. I’m really sorry, again.” With a brief glance at him, you immediately turned around and swung down. You almost ran as you made your exit from his office. You did the know where exactly to go, only anywhere without him and far away from him. Strength had left you once you were outside his office and you walked and walked and walked. 

Maybe if you left, nobody would find you annoying anymore.