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sweetiechenle · 28 days ago

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reading between the lines ✦ jeno

pairing: collegestudent!literatureprodigy!jeno x afab!collegestudent!scienceandmathgenius!reader

summary: jeno was the biggest problem you've ever had to solve, but for him you weren't quite an open book either.

w.c: 9.4k

warnings: mdni 18+, MATH, i did so much research i feel like i need to cite my sources, thank you quizlet, angst, hurt and comfort, frenemies to lovers, fluff, jeno and y/n argue a lot and yell at each other, teasing, misunderstandings, YEARNING, kissing, make-ups and confessions, plot WITH porn, love making very intimate, hard with feelings and refuse to listen to each other, unprotected sex (i better not catch y'all doing this), praising, crying, begging, groveling, pet names (baby), oral (f receiving), creampie (YUM), softdomtop!jeno (just as god intended), crack/humor, scientific talk because smart (i never took bio in college), if i forgot anything pls lmk. reblogs and feedback appreciated ♡ fiction ≠ reality. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENO!!!

‘WHAT’ you gasped, not noticing you had barked it out until everyone turned around and glared at you.

‘i’m sorry?...’ your professor had stopped everyone to bring attention back, she gave you a quizzical look, ‘is there a problem?’

you shook your head, still surprised by your sudden outburst, ‘n-no, i apologize’ you hung your head in shame, red blooming on your cheeks from embarrassment. you had been dreading today, your world literature 1 professor had told you all a week ago that you would be paired up with a partner for your first project. your major in biology and minor in actuarial mathematics required some literature classes to help with ‘scientific writing and understanding’ as your advisor put it. so you figured world literature 1 was the easiest choice, it turned out to actually be hell on earth. your weakest subject was english and literature, you were never a reader growing up unless it was about different sciences, but you always opted for documentaries and videos than reading. growing up, you’d always dread english class, anxiously waiting for whatever science and math class you could have next.

when you tell people that your favorite subject is math and then science they would laugh and usually end it with an ‘i wish’, that was your english and history, you wish you could understand it better, but it always seemed impossible. what you were least expecting was getting paired with the best literature student you knew, jeno. he annoyed you at times, acting like a pretentious asshole going around and quoting shakespeare and some other century-dead author. when you went and quoted pythagroas near him it was now apparently a problem, you two bickered back and forth in class during group introductions about greek philosophers for almost an hour, debating if aristotle was more of a math genius or a linguistics expert.

after the heated discussion, jeno told you ‘i love a good debate, you have some crazy opinions though’ he ended up giving you his phone number. it was only the first week of classes, your first ‘friend’(?), you texted him that night, but no response came. the next week you were struggling with questions your professor had given you all to go with a reading.

you texted jeno:

‘hey is this correct? *PICTURE ATTACHED*

his response chimed on your phone five minutes later:

‘no’

and that was the only response you got, no help, no explanation, you didn’t even know what was wrong with your answer to begin with. fuck this, you ended up calling him, to your surprise he answered with a ‘what?’

you didn’t mean to blow up on him, but it just came out, ‘why can’t you be nice to me for one second and help me with this student homework?’

he sighed, making your ear vibrate with the sound, ‘take back what you said and i’ll help you’

you grumbled but obliged, ‘this homework and reading is not stupid, now please help me’

you guys ended up talking on the phone for almost two hours, discussing different themes from the reading, mostly arguing about who was right, but in the end jeno helped you get answers that were good enough. he talked you through the questions and the actual themes of the reading, the elements, and showed you how to better analysis pieces of literature. you were eternally grateful but absolutely mortified at the same time.

after that phone call, you were psyched, finally finding someone that could help you pass. you were always the person in math classes that everyone went to, you didn’t have to be that person for others anymore. although you remember all the emotional baggage and difficulty when trying to help others study and understand formulas, you wouldn’t ask much of jeno, only when you really needed it.

two weeks ago you found him in the library, doing homework with books scattered around him. the first thing you noticed were glasses that he had never worn before, big frames making his eyes look much bigger in such a cute way. you figured if you asked he wouldn’t mind if you joined him, and you figured that if you asked in an even nicer way, he could help you with the literature homework.

‘hey jeno!’ you greeted him, walking up to his table, he looked up, pink lips still in a straight line, ‘would you mind if i joined you?’

‘i guess not’ he shrugged and moved some of his books out of the way for you, now sitting across from him you smiled slightly and got out your own homework. abstract algebra was your favorite class so far this semester, you never thought getting homework would make you so giddy. you couldn’t believe some people found it excruciating, while it was just a ‘fun activity’ for you. you and jeno continue work in silence, you would steal glances every once in a while, his eyes scanning over the paper as he scribbled down notes and highlight sentences. eyebrows knitting together and whispering out words in order to analyze everything perfectly. you thought it was cute, his lips would curl up into a smile after every question got answered. sitting in front of him, you could see the perfect slope of his nose, his broad shoulders slouched as he leaned into the desk, his large hand brushing his black hair back sporadically. the golden ratio had nothing on him.

not long after the trance jeno left you in, you finished your math homework and now it was time for your enemy: literature. you looked up and glanced at jeno who was writing notes down, ‘hey’ he lifted his head, ‘do you think you could help me with this?’ you motioned down to the paper in front of you, he followed and noticed your blank page compared to his one that was filled.

‘did you even try?’ he questioned, ‘it looks like you haven’t even started’

‘well’ you started with a sheepish smile, ‘i did do the reading, but i could barely understand any of it’

he sighed, his hands reaching under his glasses so he could rub his eyes, ‘okay, and what part did you not understand?’

you grabbed your packet of papers and flipped until you found the sentence, reading out loud, ‘his sense of her inferiority—of its being a degradation—of the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to recommend his suit’, you looked up at him, offering the best pleading eyes you could muster.

he slightly rolled his eyes, ‘so, basically darcy should put away his pride of being in a higher ranking than elizabeth, but he cares more about her status than love. even while he is proposing, he still looks down on elizabeth and wants her to feel grateful that he is even considering her as a wife’

‘oh, i never thought of it that way’ you mumbled, looking down at your paper again.

‘don’t they teach you stuff like this in high school? god, i fear for your grade when we actually have to read and analyze a whole book and not just passages for exercises’

the sentence was a stab to the heart, taken aback you said nothing as shame burned through your body. growing up you’d have teachers, friends, and your parents comment on your lack of understanding for english and literature, but you’ve never heard a remark like this. it cut deep, you opened and closed your mouth, unable to give an actual response, incapable of making any snide comeback, you gathered your things, got up and walked away from him. before he started to see the tears that made its way down your face.

you avoided jeno as much as you could, you sat nowhere near him in your shared class, never looked in his direction in the courtyard and started taking different routes to other classes. it was working out great for the most part, that was until he had transferred into your biology ‘unity of life’ class three weeks into the semester, at the very last minute of course. rumors were going around that a lot of students had transferred out of his previous one due to it ‘being too hard’ and that the professor ‘was a nightmare’ and he needed a natural science requirement for his major, secondary education if you could remember correctly.

seeing him walk through the door of one of your favorite classes was a different type of personal hell, and you were having a great day so far. you softly groaned, trying to resist the urge to roll your eyes in annoyance. your desk partner seemed to catch on, jaemin turned to you, ‘whats wrong? forgot to do last nights homework?’

you turned towards him, ‘never, i was so excited for this assignment, i finished all the questions as soon as i got home… it’s just… that guy, the one who just walked in’ you glanced back to his lab table, jaemin followed with his eyes, ‘i’m in his literature class and he’s nothing but an egomaniac, basically called me dumb for not understand some passage from a book’

the blond haired boy frowned, ‘he might know some books, but wait until he gets a taste of a real challenge, he transferred too late into the semester, he’s fucked’. your lips twitched up into a smile. you met jaemin the first day of class, introducing himself as a veterinarian science major with a minor in biology. you two became quick friends after you got him coffee one morning, you ended up with two cups after the cafe got your first order wrong. he was nothing but thankful, long discussions in class that lead to topics that never related to science. you got to know him pretty well, often texting and meeting up for study groups with other students from class, you both always paired up in class whenever prompted.

‘that’s fair, would be satisfying to watch him struggle’ you whispered.

he giggled, ‘god you sound like such a sadist’

the professor pulled up his notes as he prepared for the beginning of class, ‘takes one to know one’

you opened your notebook to the current lesson: the cytoskeleton. the professor went through the slideshow while you happily took notes on cells and its structure and stabilities within the cytoplasm. once the professor was done with the lecture, he started asking students questions, seeing if they were paying attention.

‘okay, now what is a delicate coil held together by hydrogen bonding between every fourth amino acid?’ he looks over his roster of students, ‘jeno! why don’t you answer this for us’

on cue, everyone turned to watch him, his head shot up from his notebook in surprise. he obviously looked unprepared, hands nervously pushing his bangs back. ‘oh… um, i don’t know i’m sorry professor, i transferred late into this class and still need to catch up’ his hair looked wild as the tips of his ears shone a bright red.

the poor professor sighed, ‘does anyone want to help jeno out?’

you immediately shot up your hand, ‘y/n?’

you smiled dramaticly, before another breathe you answered, ‘alpha helix’

‘yes, thats correct! great job y/n… now you all need to pay attention, this will be on our first exam coming up in two weeks’ he went on about amino acids and different elements. jaemin leaned into you, ‘nice’ he whispered, a smile on his face. yeah, that would show jeno what you could do.

you peeked back at jeno who whispered ‘two weeks!?’ to himself looking distressed, you felt a pang in your heart. perhaps it wasn’t fair, stuff like this was never taught in secondary school science classes, obviously he was going to struggle. you weren’t going to seek him out and offer help though, he knew science and arithmetic were your strong suits, it was his turn to come running, beg for forgiveness and ask for help.

speak of the asshole, and it shall fart, jeno texted you later that night.

‘hey…’ you scoffed, the audacity of this guy, you resisted the urge to text him back a ‘you should know this already right?’

you texted back a simple ‘what?’

he immediately answered, ‘do you think you could help me with this bio homework and maybe study together for the exam ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡’. shameless.

giving him the benefit of the doubt, you relented. maybe it was an off day for him, ‘i guess, meet me in the library tomorrow, and we’ll start’ he hearted the message and that was the end of the conversation.

you woke up early the next day, grabbing every notebook you had kept over the years that could help jeno. you texted him right after noon, ‘this is an all day affair, meet me in an hour and bring me a caramel macchiato. don’t be late, pride & prejudice wasn’t written in a day’ he liked the message as a response. you left your dorm and headed to the library, setting up a space for a long study session. jeno comes right on time, with two coffees in his hand.

he places the bigger cup down in front of you, ‘large caramel macchiato, with extra caramel, extra vanilla, and extra drizzle’

you look up at him and give him a modest smile, grabbing the drink and taking a sip from the straw and swirling the ice around the cup, ‘thank you, lets get started’ he nodded and pulled out the chair next to you and sat down.

you got out all your notebooks, his eyes widened making you giggle, ‘jesus christ dude, how many notebooks do you have for this class?’

‘well, not all of them are from this class, i brought some from previous classes that i think could help you’ you handed over a stack of notes, which he begrudgingly took. ‘okay, now lets get started…’

you two had spent hours discussing carbohydrates, cellulose, and enzymes. sometimes arguing back and forth about answers, ‘okay so, a system of membranes that modifies and packages proteins for export by the cell?’ you asked jeno as he flipped through his notes.

‘um… integrins?’ he answered, totally unsure of himself in the process.

you smiled, ‘not quite, its the golgi apparatus, integrins are cell-surface receptor proteins… crazy how you don’t remember this from basic biology classes…’ you mumbled the last part.

but of course he still caught it, ‘what was that?’

you shrugged your shoulders, ‘i mean we learn about cells and stuff in secondary school… everyone knows that the golgi apparatus is the packaging and distribution center of the cells, i mean everyone talks about how the mitochondria is the power house of the cell, is that the only thing you remember from biology?’

his eyebrows shot up in surprise, ‘oh? so that's what this is about?’ he smirked, ‘you’re still upset about what i said last week aren’t you?’

your gaze diverted from his line of sight, thankful you wore your hair down this morning so he wouldn’t see the pink burning on the tips of your ears. ‘no… i’m just saying’

‘...saying almost the same exact thing i said?’ jeno smiled, and his eyes turned into crescent moons, happy that he caught you in the act, ‘understandable… well, uh, if you help me, i’ll help you’

you crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him, ‘not until you apologize, not everyone can be as good as you in literature’

‘okay, i’m sorry, you are a genius in math and science, now please agree’ jeno pleaded.

‘fine’ you answered.

another week passed and jeno finally felt comfortable taking the exam, on the other hand your literature professor started talking about a project for that class. jeno reassured you that he would help you in the best way he could, he helped you with literary analysis, notations, and rhetoric. you ended up getting an 85% percent on the most recent homework, excited to show jeno you made your way to the classroom.

‘so, jeno, i’ve been seeing you hanging out with that y/n person in our class’ you stopped before the entrance to the classroom, ‘they literally know nothing about literature and refuse to learn, how could you put yourself through that?’

‘oh, well, um, i don’t know, i’m just helping them with some stuff’ jeno answered. you peeked inside, he was with two other students, a girl and a boy, sitting together in a group.

‘must be pretty frustrating, i don’t know why they are even in this class, fucking moron, am i right?’ the girl responded and you could hear the others, but jeno, laugh.

you could feel your heart break as your mind begin to buzz. eyes watered, and you thought back to your discussion with jaemin, of course you guys were poking fun at jeno too, but nothing this extreme. ‘i mean, i guess one could think that, but everything about th-’ you couldn’t listen anymore, turned your heels and stormed off. stopping at the end of the hallway to through your graded paper away in anger and humiliation. after everything you both did for each other, it made your blood boil in anger and betrayal, you had to get back home. you paced to your dorm, keeping your head down so no one would notice you and your state of mind right now. skipping one literature class wouldn’t hurt.

so it did, and now here you are, sitting in your literature class with the professor reading out the pairings for the first project. for the rest of the week and over the weekend, you had ignored jeno’s texts and calls, you decided you were finally done with his games. ‘y/n and jeno’ the professor read out to the class.

‘WHAT’ you gasped, not noticing you had barked it out until everyone turned around and glared at you.

‘i’m sorry?...’ your professor had stopped everyone to bring attention back, she gave you a quizzical look, ‘is there a problem?’

you shook your head, still surprised by your sudden outburst, ‘n-no, i apologize’ you hung your head in shame, red blooming on your cheeks from embarrassment.

your professor nodded and resumed her list of partners, after she announced to the class, ‘now sit with your partners and discuss what you all want to do for your projects for the rest of class’

you groaned, you weren’t ready to face jeno yet, you probably never would be. you never wanted to see or speak to him ever again, you shuffled to his seat, taking your time to get over to him and sit down.

‘hey’ he said, ‘you’ve been ignoring me this whole week, whats up?’

fake ass bitch, you thought, he didn’t care, ‘nothing, just not a good week i guess’

he frowned, ‘damn, well, if it makes you feel better, i got a 90% on my first bio exam!’ he beamed, ‘so at least now you know your hard work is paying off’

‘that’s great, glad you’ve been getting at least something out of this’ you deadpanned.

he gave you a quizzical look, but decided to drop the subject, ‘so, for the project i was thinking about covering the tenant of wildfell hall’

you literally didn’t care and let him pick whatever, ‘yeah that’s fine’

his eyes narrowed, giving you a weird look again, ‘okay… so, the book has themes of double standards, religion, morality, and love. i can send you passages that we can cover for our project…’. jeno went on for the next thirty minutes with only little nods and comments from you, agreeing to anything he had to suggest. all you wanted to do was leave, once the professor dismissed class that's what you did, picking up your backpack and storming off with jeno still talking.

you rushed down the hallway, ignoring the calls coming from jeno behind you. with his crazy athletic built he eventually caught up to you, grabbed your shoulder and spun you around. you gazed up at him, he stared down at you, looking for any answer he could find. ‘what is your problem? i thought you’d be happy we were paired up?’ he started interrogating you.

you sighed, almost giving up, ‘jeno, can we just meet up later and talk about it? i’m exhausted right now’

he sighed and his hands fell from your shoulders, ‘i’ll text you’ he nodded, and you turned around and left. once at your dorm you threw your backpack to the side and climbed into your bed, taking a well needed nap. a few hours later, your phone vibrating next to you pulled you out of dream land.

3 missed texts from jeno:

‘y/n, are you able to come over to my apartment soon?’

‘plz stop being so stubborn its annoying plz just talk to me’

‘here’s the address lmk when ur on the way’

you texted him back:

‘sorry i was taking a nap’

‘i can be there in a bit’

you got up and got ready, grabbed your backpack and left for jeno’s. once you got there it took you a good five minutes to have the courage to knock on his door. hesitant you tenderly knocked on the door, after a second he opened up the door and let you inside without another word. he was in shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt and smelled immaculate, you gulped, raking your eyes over his body, strong arms and long legs, a face without imperfections. your heart burned in anger and panic, angry that he was so gorgeous it pissed you off, panic because all you could think was what the fuck am i doing right now? ‘do you want to sit down? i saw you brought your backpack, we can work on some stuff if you want?’

you nodded, walked over to the couch and plopped down, grabbing your backpack you opened it and got your laptop out, pulling up the notes from your calculus 2 class. jeno joined you on the couch, sitting a little bit to close for comfort, but you said nothing. his bare leg brushed against your clothed one, sending a buzzing sensation all throughout your body, trying your best to ignore him you stayed focused on your screen.

question 1: x³ + 2x² - 6z = 4 - 2y²

without a second thought you typed in the answer:

r³cos³0 + 2r² - 6z = 4

submitting it you smiled as the green checkmark popped up, correct on the first try. ‘damn, that’s crazy’ jeno broke the silence, you glanced over at him.

‘what?’ you said turned back to your laptop.

‘i literally understood none of that and you got it on the first try!? that’s literally fucking insane’

you laughed at his outburst, ‘it’s nothing really, it was kind of easy, just plug in the following x and y polar conversion formulas into the equation where possible, then you just rewrite everything and use the formulas to convert the equation into cylindrical coordinates’

jeno howled in laughter, which was contagious enough to make you laugh, ‘that’s insane, you’re amazing’

you cocked your head to the side, intrigued by his word choice, ‘oh? am i?’

his demeanor changed, the air felt heavy as he calmed down and moved closer to you. he leaned in, and you panicked, he glanced down at your lips and back up to your eyes. his long eyelashes met his cheeks, you followed suit and closed your eyes, ignoring the way your mind is screaming at you not to do this. heart says otherwise, as you could hear it beat in your ears, whole body buzzing as his pink, soft lips brushed against yours.

jeno moved in deeper, teeth clinking together as you ravaged your mouth, he was a starved man, and you were the last meal he would ever receive. it was warm and sensual, he reached around your waist and roughly pulled your torso into his. his nose bumped into yours as he moved his head slightly for better access, laptop completely abandoned to the side your arms lifted to his biceps, squeezing hard as you let out a soft moan. you broke the kiss as you pressed against his arms, your forehead leaned on his as you both caught your breath, between pants he smiled and laughed, you did not. anxiety ran your blood cold as now all you could think of was what he had said in the classroom about you. was this all a joke?

‘jeno…’ you started, and his smile faltered, ‘i can’t do this’ you stood up and grabbed your laptop and shoved it haphazardly into your backpack, heatedly rushing out of his apartment and down the hall to the entrance. again you ignored jeno as he called after you, his footsteps echoing behind you. you pushed the heavy door open and the air hit you with the wind flying through your hair. continuing down the lamp-lighted street, the boy was still trying to catch up to you.

‘y/n please, we forgot to talk about it’ he addressed your almost non-existent figure fading into the darkness.

he was hopeless by now, but still refused to give up, he moved again, ‘y/n!’

you stopped and turned around, walking up to him his build now growing hazy as water pooled in your eyes. ‘you wanna talk about it? you WANT to talk about it? FINE, you are such a stuck-up asshole, thinking i’m so stupid because i don’t have the best grade in our lit class. laughing about it with your friends when they call me a moron! you think you’re so great you didn’t even know what the chemical symbol was for sulfur, FUCKING SULFUR JENO’ you were yelling at this point, jabbing your finger into his chest with every emphasis in your anger. ‘you think you can play me in some fucked up game you have going on in your head, keeping me around so you can feel better about yourself and use me for help so you could pass an exam, i know i’ve asked you for help before, but at the end of it, all i wanted to do was be your friend, you could’ve said no, but i couldn’t. you gave me no choice but to give in with the deal that you’d help me in return, and you know what? i needed the help, badly. and you knew that and used it in a discussion with your friends that laughed at me because of it, you know how that made me feel? like absolute shit, i wanted to be your friend but all you have ever done was use me and hurt me, and guess what? you don’t have to fear for’ fingers motioning air quotations, ‘my grade because i got a good grade on my homework thanks to you, so thank you jeno! i really appreciate the help, i hope it really boosted your ego, maybe you can go fucking write a book about it or something, i don’t know and i don’t care, but i’m done’ your face was probably beet red at this point, while angry tear's avalanche down your face, you hastily whipped your face and snot that escaped during your outburst. his face focused into view, he was so pretty, and that made you tear up all over again, he could have been different.

he looked defeated, frustrated as his fists clenched into balls and relax over and over, ‘y/n, please let me explain, i di-’ you stopped him, placing your hand in front of his face.

‘do the math jeno, the probability that i would ever hear you out is slim…’ you turned and started walking away, briefly glancing back, he was still in the same spot. ‘it’s S by the way, the symbol for sulfur, maybe now you’ll remember it when you think back on this night… not so proud after all’ your voice cracked at the last sentence as your heart wrenched and stomach mangled, tears breaking through yet again.

you left him there.

you decided not to tell jaemin about what happened, but jeno’s absence was evident. you couldn’t sleep, all that replayed in your nightmare was his soft lips brushing against yours, and you swore you could still feel his strong arms pulling you forward, into him. the feeling that gave you clawed at your heart, beating you down every single time you closed your eyes and pictured his face smiling at you, laughing at you, annoyed at you. anything he gave you, you would take, no matter how much it broke you down. you liked him, no, you like him. even after everything he’s done, you still held a soft spot for him in your fractured heart. all the phone calls that turned into facetime when he would ask for help with math, and you had to show him the steps of a problem. laughing every time you would shake trying to hold your phone steady as he jokingly squawked, ‘keep still!’ when he would read passages to you over the phone late at night, and you’d have fallen asleep to his tender voice before he could even explain the motif. it had only been 5 weeks of class, but it felt like you had known him longer, despite your differences in subjects you both eventually subsided the arguments with long discussions and debates on why one answer was right and how the other was wrong. revelations that came to light after hours of going back and forth.

you stood in the shower, blankly staring at the white ceramic wall in front of you as droplets rained down. you thought about the day you and jeno were studying in the library, renting a study room within because you figured the discussion would be heated. it ended up in a feverish battle between the differences of cell adhesion and cell migration. by the end of it you were standing up, hands pulling at your roots in irritation trying to explain it to the boy sat down in front of you with a shit-eating grin adorning his face. ‘y/n, y/n, stop, stop, please, i can’t take it anymore’ he laughed, clutching his stomach, ‘i got it, while they are tightly associated, cell adhesion provides structural support and stability to tissues, while cell migration is the directed movement of cells from one location to another’

your arms dramatically dropped to your sides, ‘YOU KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME’ pointing, you accused him.

he laughed again at your reaction, ‘i just love seeing you like that, it’s cute, you know i just love a challenge’ he exclaimed going back to his notes.

you laughed to yourself, recalling the moment of the playful banter and subtle flirting that slipped out on occasion. you giggled, howled, and snorted a little too much at the memory, which silently followed into your heart sinking to the bottom of your stomach, the shower masking the uncontrollable sobs that carried through every limb, appendage, and bone.

jaemin went on and on about some story about his roommates, you paid barely any attention, eyes glued to the door as you waited to see if he would show up. the blond boy slurred his words, leaning into you now, trying to get you to look at him. you turned your body, he was giving you a pouty face with big, shining eyes, ‘i asked you a question y/nnie. were you even listening to me?’ he tugged on the sleeve of your hoodie, his strength made you feel like a rag doll.

‘i was… and the answer is yes?’ you said, unsure about whatever he was yapping about.

he beamed and clapped playfully, ‘yippie! i knew you could use a pick-me-up, i promise it’ll be fun, the party is saturday so clear your schedule, i’ll pick you up’

your shoulder shook as you lightly laughed at his theatrics, rubbing your temple in exasperation as to what you just got yourself into, ‘sounds like fun’. you barely noticed jeno walking in out of the corner of your eye. he looked worse than you did, a hoodie with a stain, sweats that looked they were able to fall apart, mis-matched socks and unkempt hair. he kept pushing his glasses up his nose and rubbing his tired eyes. your heart skipped a beat when you noticed his dark circles that almost matched yours, his being a little worse for wear. before he could catch you staring, you quickly focused your attention to the professor starting class, going through the roaster and continuing the lecture on cells.

‘can anyone tell me the variations in cell types? jeno, got an answer?’ the professor smiled at him, everyone turned to spectate and wait for him to answer, except you.

‘um, prokaryotic and eukaryotic’ he dragged, sounding uninterested despite getting the question right.

‘yes! very good jeno’ the professor praised, moving on to the next question. you started to sweat, angry that he got it right and yet you were now holding on your high c- in literature class. how come he could now catch onto science but yet, you were still unable to grapple with the concepts of a victorian classic novel? or maybe it was the fact you had skipped every class this week, refusing to work with jeno on anything, you noticed the text and calls from him were dwindling three days after the confrontation, however everyday he sent pictures of his notes and analysis on the reading and how the project was going. as pathetic as it was, you continue to lay awake in bed nearly every night rereading his text from that night:

i know you are angry and probably hate me right now and that’s understandable, but i don’t want to give up on you, on us. do you think newton gave up on the laws of motion after he failed on the first or second try? you aren’t getting the whole picture, plz give me a chance to explain, i don’t even know if you are reading this, but if you are, plz hear me out you got it all wrong about that day in the classroom, and if it felt like i was using you, i’m sorry. that was never my intention, i just like being around you, you are always quick-witted and i was just trying to taunt you so you’d pay attention to me because i really like you, ig that backfired badly lol. anyway, i hope this will change your mind, and you’ll reach out, i’ll give you time.

followed by a very unserious message that you couldn’t help but smile at:

oh, i almost forgot, don’t worry about the project, but you could come to class, i’m starting to fear for your grade again (,,>﹏<,,) (only kidding!)

another biology class and 2 skipped lit classes pass and the weekend was finally brought upon the world. you held the pleasure of assisting jaemin to a party hosted by someone he knew from one of his health classes. it took forever for you to pick out a cute outfit, but opted for a sleeveless shirt and basic jean shorts and a pair of white sneakers you found buried in the back of your small closet. you carefully did your makeup, usually not taking it too far, but this was special, and you needed to feel like a bad bitch tonight.

jaemin showed up an hour later, deciding to walk to the house 4 blocks down, saying he wanted ‘to get turnt with you’ and that he refused to drink and drive. you agreed, walking sounded better than looking for a driver or someone having to stay sober throughout the night. you exited your building and found jaemin’s car in the lot, he climbed out to greet you and whistled, eyes eating up your form, ‘damn, you look hot’

you smiled bashfully, ‘thanks jaemin, even nerds can be hot you know?’

he turned to lock his car, ‘i mean, yes, but like, you always look cute, but this is like the freaky side of you, it’s different… it’s nice’

you cackled, ‘please never call me freaky ever again, i’m going to revoke your brain rot privileges’

he admitted defeat and dropped the conversation, you both now walked down the sidewalk in perfect silence with the sun now set, surveying the rows of houses in different stages of life in the moon glow. ‘it’s this one’ jaemin nudged you, stopping, he pointed to the house on the corner, you nodded and wrapped your arm around his, linking together so you immediately wouldn’t get lost in the sea of a potential crowd. he opened the old, green door, and you followed, as expected there was a good amount of people attending and as the night worn on you figured more would pile in.

jaemin turned to you, ‘do you wanna go find some drinks?’

‘yes, please’ you quickly nodded as he pulled you through the throng of people, trying to find the kitchen.

once you were there, the host of the party seemed to also be there, ‘jaemin! glad you could make it man’ they dabbed each other up and touched shoulders embracing in a ‘bro hug’.

‘hell yeah, no way i’d not come for the first party of the semester, i brought my friend along with me!’ he pulled you closer to him, now giving you the floor as all attention was pulled towards you, wincing as jaemin jabbed at your side, urging you to get closer to his friend.

‘hi, i’m y/n’ you said giving him a genuine smile, holding out your hand.

‘oh my, you are gorgeous, and you came with this sleaze bag’ he nodded towards jaemin who just playfully hit his friends shoulder, ‘i’m donghyuck, but everyone calls me haechan, its a pleasure to meet you’ he softly took a hold of your hand and bent down to give it a little peck, you giggled at the eccentric greeting.

jaemin tore haechan away, ‘alright, not too much now’ he joked, ‘it’s time for shots’ haechan clapped and guided you both to the kitchen island that was filled with different alcohol, he picked out a clear liquid and poured them into plastic shot cups he grabbed from a neat stack. jaemin lifted up his cup, ‘fuck pharmacology’ you snickered at his comment and raised your cup along with haechan who nodded in agreement. on cue, you threw back the cup and shuddered as the sweet nectar burned your throat. ‘hell yeah! another! at the end of the night i want to be able to forget about fucking blood urea nitrogen and blood glucose’ haechan laughed and poured another in all 3 cups. after that it was another, and then another, and after about 6 shots you tapped out and opted for a gin and coke that haechan was more than happy to make for you.

more time had passed than you thought as more people flooded the kitchen, wrecking havoc on the choices of liquor, haechan handed you your cup and jaemin motioned for you both to move to the living room. people were dancing, some were playing beer pong off in the corner, and others were chatting on various furniture. ‘want to dance a bit?’ he whispered in your ear because of the loud music that made the floor vibrate under your seat, you could feel it rattling your brain. giving him a silent nod he grabbed your hand and led you through the crowd, finding a spot and finding the rhythm of the song. you bobbed your head to the beat and moved back and forth with jaemin in front of you, you always thought he was attractive, but you saw him nothing more than a friend, you felt comfortable around him. you nursed your drink slowly, already somewhat tipsy from the shots, you didn’t want to get drunk too fast or blackout. jaemin grabbed your free hand and twirled you around, dramatically moved your joined hands with fever. you laughed along with him, indulging him in an embarrassing, yet fun dance that probably made you both look wasted to others.

his arm snaked around your waist, pulling you close much to your surprise, pleasanton’tkissmepleasedon’tkissmepleasedon’tkissme ran rampant in your mind as he leaned towards your ear ‘don’t look now, but a certain someone is staring at you from across the room, you let out a strangled breath.

‘do you know who it is?’ you whispered back.

‘jeno’ he mused and your lively spirited fell.

‘whats up? something go down with him?’ he pestered.

‘um, kinda, its a long story’ you faltered and jaemin frowned.

‘damn, that serious? his loss, he can look all he wants’ jaemin wanted to be lighthearted, make you smile again and keep jeno out of your mind. you were grateful as he pulled you into another whimsical dance, the joyful nature of his was infectious.

after a couple more songs had passed, you had downed your whole drink and let go of jaemin’s hand, ‘i’m gonna go find haechan and have him make me another drink, it was surprisingly superb’ jaemin nodded and said he would stay in the same spot for your return.

you hastily made your way to the kitchen, apologizing to others you had to push through. the small room was almost empty, haechan was nowhere in sight so you looked for a different drink. ‘having fun with jaemin?’ a voice boomed from behind you, one that you knew all too well. you slowly turned to find jeno smirking at you, leaning against the fridge adorned in a tight white shirt and ripped jeans, oh fuck this stupid earth, he just had to follow you here looking like that.

‘yes i am, actually’ you stated matter-of-factly.

his lips twitched up in amusement, ‘is that so?’ he moved in closer, eventually trapping you between him and the liquor table. jeno’s soft brown eyes met yours, searching for something inside, however, his eyes told you everything, hope, they screamed. his hand lifted towards your face, slowly brushed against the skin lighter than a feather, taking a piece of your hair and pushing it behind your ear, ‘so he wouldn’t mind this?’. his eyes fluttered closed as he bowed towards you.

before he could seal the deal, ‘jeno’ you stopped him.

he sighed, defeated, ‘just please talk to me, you said the probability was slim, but not zero, let me explain’ jeno begged, his large hands caressed your cheeks tenderly, they were soft and warm.

you could blame the alcohol as you finally let him speak his case, ‘fine, we can find somewhere private’

he smiled, eyes disappearing in relief. he grabbed your hand, leading upstairs and into an empty room, he closed the door behind him as you took a seat on the bed, ‘alright, grovel and explain’ you lifted your phone up to check the time ‘you have 10 minutes’

he gave you a smug smile, ‘that’s all i need baby, you know i love a challenge’ you rolled your eyes at his attempt to uplift the tension fogging the air. ‘that day in the classroom, you obviously didn’t stay long enough to hear what i had to say about you, at first i didn’t know how to respond being put into that position was hard, you didn’t ‘put me through anything’ though, i had nothing but fun with you, even if it was frustrating at times. we always figured it out. but when i heard what she said after i wasn’t just going to allow it, i said ‘yeah i guess one could say that’ because these people literally do not know you like i do, i finished with ‘but everything about that is completely untrue, they are willing to learn, but it's just taking longer than some of us who take a bunch of english and literature classes. if you got to actually know her you’d see how bright they actually are. a literal math genius and a real mastermind of science, could answer any question from the top of their head, it’s insane. so while we are strong in this subject, they are just stronger in other fields’ he explained, watching you intently. you wiggled under his gaze, making you feel same, but itched for him to go on, ‘i then told her that she should not speak on things she knows nothing about and left because i will not associate myself with someone who talks like that about people i care about’ he emphasized the last words carefully, grabbing hold of your hand and lifting you from the bed, ‘y/n, i’m so sorry, it was never my intention to hurt you, ever. i care about you so deeply, you show up in every romance novel i read, every poem i skim, the stories i write… it’s all you’ jeno gazed down at you, his eyes now searching for an answer, hope, and panic could only be found in his as you studied his features in the warm glow of the moon peaking through the window.

‘you really said that? you defended me?’ you questioned him quietly.

‘yes y/n, i would never let anyone hurt you, even if you aren’t in the room, because in that case, they hurt me too’

you hummed, the haze of your brain clouded any judgment you held, he was something different, the greatest math problem that needed to be solved. ‘thank you jeno, i guess it’s now my turn to apologize’

he chuckled at you, ‘no need baby’ you laughed softly, ‘now, can we pick up where we left off? you know, someone once told me that pride and prejudice wasn’t written in a day’ he wagged his eyebrows at you, moving you into an embrace as he kissed the top of your head. you held on tightly, holding him as you buried your face into his chest swallowing his scent so you could save it for later.

the hug ended, but he still held you close in his arms, ‘i guess i could pick up another chapter or two’ he laughed at your poor pun and drooped down, so his lips could meet yours. it was messier than the first kissed you shared with him, wet and heated as you could taste the soju on his tongue. he moved at a faster pace, devouring you like an animal, jeno walked you towards the bed, you gave in falling down with him, with him climbing on top of you, never breaking away. teeth on teeth echoed throughout the room as you moaned, his hands exploring every part of your body, making your core burn more and more.

jeno dipped down to attack your neck in kisses and sucking at the exposed skin, hands finding a way to his hair and tugging slightly at the intimate feeling of him being closer than ever. ‘please, tell me you’re mine, please want me’ he breathed out, the air softly hitting your ear, making the hair on the back of your neck stand up. he was desperate, kissing you anywhere he could and waited for you to answer.

‘y-yes jeno, i’m yours’ you choked out, ‘i want you in every way’ satisfied with your response he growled and his mouth met yours once more, ‘p-please touch me’ you begged frantically, needing anything to ease the sensation that pooled in the pits of your stomach.

jeno hummed, fingers brushing up and down your exposed stomach, ‘where baby? use your words, remember what i taught you?’ it was your turn to make demands now, wasting no time you grabbed his hand and brought it down between your legs, he cupped your vagina. you groaned, you needed more. jeno grabbed the waistband of your shorts and pulled them down and threw them behind him, the cool air hit your core making you rub your thighs together in order to find little warmth.

he carefully pulled your underwear down, wanting to savor the moment of finally seeing you bare, he gulped, ‘god, you have such a pretty pussy’ he took his hand and rubbed the sensitive skin, ‘so wet. just for me, right? all for me baby’ you cried out at his words. he inserted a finger into your weeping hole, making you gasp out in surprise at the feeling of just one finger filling you up dangerously. as he pushed back and forth your legs trembled, he added another finger and brought his head down to your core, ‘i bet you taste amazing’ was all he said before he dove in deep, his tongue against your clit as he drank up your juices and sucked on the flesh.

‘f-fuck’ you mewled, grabbed a hold of his soft, black hair in order to keep you grounded, with every thrust he made as he fucked with his mouth you tugged on his hair, pulling when you would feel the band about to snap, jeno groaned, loving the way you’d use him for stability.

he stopped and removed his face, you whined from the loss of contact as his fingers also found their way outside of you, he smiled ‘don’t worry, my pretty baby, i’ll take care of you’. he threw off his shirt nearly getting drunker with the way you were taking him in, he loved being adored by you, in such a calculated way that made sense in every story. you followed suit and removed your top and bra, baring naked in front of him and laid back on the bed as he admired you from afar, ‘you’re so beautiful’ he breathed, discarding his pants and underwear he crawled back on top of you, whispering sweet nothing's as he peppered your collarbone and breasts with kisses.

‘are you sure you want this? it might hurt a little at first, but i promise i’ll go slow until you tell me otherwise’ he towered over you.

your glassy eyes met his in reassurance, ‘yes, jeno i want this’ you confirmed everything for him. he quickly lined up his cock with your cunt and gently pushed inside, his eyes never leaving yours. your hands grasped around his muscled biceps, digging your nails into them when the pain was strong. once he bottomed out he stopped to let you get used to his size, you shared sensual kisses and sweet touches, jeno doing everything in his power to make you feel loved and safe at that moment going forward, that’s all he ever wanted to do. for weeks, he had been beating himself up for taking the teasing comments way too far at times, poking fun at something you were obviously insecure about, but you did the same, he figured it was kind of the thing you two had. in reality, he wanted to push you to do better, making comments like that so you’d work harder and prove everyone wrong. no one could work with you better than him, so he had gone out of his way to ask the pressor to pair you up on the project, also making the forced proximity making you talk to him after you stopped answering his calls and messages. he should have gone a better way about motivating you, but now that he had your forgiveness, he could work on better strategies.

‘jeno, you can move now’ you rasped out, still holding on his arms like an anchor with a boat. he pulled out and pushed back in, taking it slow as you moaned at the feeling of him filling you up to the brim, jeno picked up the pace, setting a steady rhythm as skin clapping together filled the room, ‘oh fuck, just like that’ your chest heaving up and down.

he slammed into with vigor, bitting your bottom lip as you opened your mouth to let out a breathless moan, ‘yeah? you like that? fuck, you’re so tight, literally sucking me in, i never want to leave this pretty fucking pussy’ he husked, he licked your lips and kissed your jaw as he grunted, setting a faster pace, making you cry out in pleasure. he grabbed your legs and opened them wider, giving him better access to go deeper into your abused cunt. you cried as the flame in your belly raged with a thousand fires, ‘keep your eyes on me baby’ jeno demanded, automatically making you swallow as you moved your eyes to meet his, blown out pupils filled with lust as your vision of him became blurry as blissful tears threaten to fall with every snap on his hips digging into you. you’ve had flings and hook-ups before, but nothing as profound as this, the eye contact, togetherness of him never backing too far away from your hold, you were being wholly consumed by jeno. everything right down to your core, he was all you could feel, taste, see, and think about.

‘o-oh my god’ you sobbed, hips jerking up at the feeling of the ripples burning through you, the coil in your stomach tightening, craving to break open, ‘m gonna cum’ you clenched around him, making jeno hiss above you at the feeling of tightness around his throbbing dick.

‘go on baby, cum for me,’ he whimpered as the feeling for him also grew intense, the way your cunt hugged his dick was making his mind spin. jeno mumbled incoherently ‘i’m so close baby, let go, you can let go, i got you’ from his words and the way he pounded into you made you snap, legs trembling as liquid gushed from your core and past his cock and dripped onto the sheets. light-headed and dizzy you cried out for jeno as your orgasm burst over you.

you clenched again, feeling overwhelmed by the euphoric feeling, ‘oh, fuck’ jeno cursed as he stilled inside of you, painting your insides with his seed, he groaned at the sensation of finally filling you up and properly claiming you as his and his alone. he stayed there for a couple of minutes inside of you. savoring the static of the overstimulation and pleasure of release. you winced as the hot liquid poured out of you when he pulled out, the emptiness of it all. jeno watched as his cum slide down your hole and onto the sheet, he scooped up the remaining liquid that rushed out of you and shoved it back into your clit with two fingers, making you cry at the sensitivity. ‘fuck that was… one of the best experiences of my life’ he caught his breath and plopped down facing you, he gently caressed your chin, bringing your head to his as he softly left kisses on your lips, ‘let me get you cleaned up baby’

‘m tired’ you whispered, barely able to keep your eyes open.

‘i know, but let me take care of you and get you dressed, i know theres extra clothes somewhere around here’ he started rummaging around the wardrobes, digging into them in order to find anything adequate. ‘aha!’ he put on a clean pair of underwear and sweats, ‘i’ll be right back baby’ he left the room and came back after for what felt like an eternity with a warm wash cloth and clean clothes, ‘these are mark’s girlfriends pj’s i’m sure she won’t mind,’ he hummed, wiping you clean, and dressing you in the soft, clean clothes. he picked you up so he could throw the covers back, tucking you in with a kiss on the nose, ‘you’re so cute’

you lazily smiled at him, settling into the sheets as you clung onto his warm frame, ‘who’s room is this by the way?’ you whispered as jeno shut his eyes.

‘mark’s. doesn’t matter. you’re my girlfriend now right?’ he leaned his head on yours.

‘mmm girlfriend yes. mark who?’ words fell from your mouth as you yawned, sleeping coming to find you soon.

‘mark, shark.’ he dismissed you, ‘just be ready for a stern talk when we wake up from the man himself.’ he kissed your head as you drifted off to sleep, the morning was the least of your worries now, you finally figured out the solution, the obvious answer being: jeno.

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dedalvs · 10 months ago

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Hi! First of all, I admire you and your works. You make constructive languages sound very interesting!

I am new around so I don't know if this has ever been answered before. But, I would like to ask some things if you don't mind.

Is any book or websites you would recommend to learn more about constructive language? And perhaps one that could be used as a guide if I want to try to make one?

What is the first thing to do when someone wants to make a constructive language for fantasy stories?

Thank you for the chance!

"Conlang" stands for constructed language. Constructive language is what I should try to use more of when chatting with others.

As it happens, I wrote a book called The Art of Language Invention which is intended to serve as an introduction to language creation. It should help to answer your second question. In general, though, you need to be clear about why you want the language—what it's supposed to do, what reality it exists in, what its backstory is, what its function in the fiction will be, etc. The answers to these questions should exhaustively guide the creation of your language.

#conlang #aoli

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ozai-the-bonsai · 9 months ago

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Could you write for Daemon targaryen like currently after all those nightmares in harnehal he finds a prisoner of harnehal as the only person who brings him peace him falling in love with her and trying to be better person he still fights for team black obviously rahaenya is definitely not happy with these arrangements especially seeing him all dedicated all in love some things he never have done for her but she have no option currently rather accepting his second wife though at the end when team black would be winning and fight at harnehal like aemond Vs Daemon she ask for reader's head happy ending at the end please or anything you wanna write I just wanna see Daemon happy in love at end please

Finally I have time for my hobbies again! Sorry I left you waiting for ages, this term the exam season was tougher than what I have been accustomed to… Anyways, I have started writing some stuff and I wanted to post the intro instead of writing a full-length chapter 1 since it would have taken a couple more days (:

As a side note, I honestly have no idea where this story will be headed because I have no clear course planned, I had some little ideas and I just started writing them. Also I will be introducing stuff which is not in the asoiaf universe.

I am continuing to read Silmarillion from where I left off and let’s say the ideas about Daemon’s love interest are… inspired from what I have been reading (; Enjoy!

Memento Mori

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x fem!reader

Warnings: strong language, I am not a native English speaker, reader is (or will be) described with long hair

This is a very short introduction! Also the chapter is from Daemon’s pov. The title is inspired by Memento Mori by Lamb of God (the song has been a great inspiration for the story so far)

The dungeons of Harrenhal were cold, wet and lonely.

He had no idea when, how and why he had gone down there – one moment, he was in his chambers and the next, he was opening his eyes to the mossy stone walls of the dark dungeons with a torch in his hand. The line between dreams and reality was becoming thinner each day he spent in this cursed castle.

As Daemon walked past the empty cells, he tried to shake off this unsettling feeling lingering around him, dancing on his neck on its tippy toes, making him wonder whether he was indeed alone.

I doubt Simon Strong keeps prisoners down here, he thought while wiping the water from his forehead which was dripping from the broken ceiling. Maybe he has decided to lock up the witch?

Just when the Rogue Prince – correction, the King Consort – was about to turn back and leave the depressing, humid and somewhat eerie atmosphere of the dungeons behind, a soft humming reached his ears.

A soft, sweet humming of a song coming from one of the cells at the very end of the darkness.

“What kind of prisoner is Simon Strong hiding here?” Daemon asked, his voice created echoes as he waved the torch in front of him, trying to cast some light.

The humming stopped immediately, as if the sound itself was cut by a knife.

Daemon’s purple eyes widened upon seeing that the last cell was indeed not empty.

There was a young woman inside, looking at him with her eyes full of curiosity. Her hair had an unearthly shine under the dim moonlight. She tilted her head to the side. “You can see me?” She asked, it was the same soft voice from a moment ago, though the sweetness was no longer there to be felt.

Daemon raised an eyebrow at her direction. “Do people not see you?”

The young woman shook her head, her movements – no matter how simple they were – felt almost too harmonious. “Not normally, it is not intended that I am seen.” Stopping for a moment, she eyed Daemon from head to foot. “You are not really here, are you?”

The raised eyebrow quickly turned into a frown. “What do you mean? I am standing in front of you.”

She shook her head once again. As her soft whisper filled his eyes, Daemon started falling into the nothingness, again, for the unknown-th time ever since he had come to Harrenhal.

“Wake up.”

***

When he woke up, trying to catch his breath, Daemon found himself lying on his bed, as always. Anytime he had one of those weird dreams – he wasn’t even sure if he should call them dreams anymore – his consciousness would find its way back to his bed.

Unless he was daydreaming, which were considerably the worse.

“Who the fuck was that weird woman?” Daemon muttered to himself as he stood up, dressing up in his regular robes. The feeling in his stomach was telling him that he had to go down there, to the dungeons, to find that woman. If he were to wait until dawn, he feared she might be gone.

What was it that she said again? It is not intended she is seen?

Leaving his chambers with a torch in his right hand, Daemon shook his head to the thoughts flowing through his mind, causing his silver hair to move. “Weird woman,” he muttered to himself as he walked through the dark corridors of the castle with haste. “She somehow reminds me of the witch.”

The dungeons were as dark and wet as he remembered from the dream. A cold wind was wandering besides him, kissing the mossy walls and licking Daemon’s skin, sometimes whispering wicked words in his ears. Even the wind was odd here, in Harrenhal, but he had somewhat got used to it – hearing its eerie whispers whenever he walked alone during the hour of the wolf.

“Show yourself,” Daemon spoke with a strong voice which created echoes as he stood in front of that very cell from his dream. “Your king commands it!”

“Huh, king?” The same soft voice answered from the dark corner of her cell. The moonlight had left its shining spot, leaving the torch in Daemon’s hands as the only source of light in this entire corridor of the dungeons. “I answer to no king.”

A condescending scoff left Daemon’s lips as he came closer to the bars made of steel, separating him and the weird woman. “You do live in Westros, do you not?” Daemon asked, not really waiting for an answer. “As long as you breathe in this land, you do answer to the King.”

A chuckle came from the darkness. “I have been breathing in this land before your ancestors flew across the Narrow Sea, Daemon Targaryen.”

Taglist: @throughgoeshamilton @mirandastuckinthe80s @xicesam @mariamyousef702 @eddiemadmunson @dont-try-pesticide @sweetybuzz25 @hc-geralt-23 @schniiipsel @ttae-yong @syrma-sensei @asiludida164 @kaitieskidmore1 @irmavanity-blog @pax-2735 @trickrtreatart @shanzeyxsyed @random-human02 @scarwicht @xcallmetaniax @instabull @niiight-dreamerrrr @my-dark-prince @stargaryenx @abaker74 @babywolff @sonnensplitter @bi-narystars @softtina @sadmonke @avalyaaa

#daemon x reader #daemon x reader smut #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen smut #house of the dragon #house of the dragon fic #hodt #hodt fic #matt smith #game of thrones #smut

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mywitchyblog · 10 months ago

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The Importance of Spiritual Hygiene in Reality Shifting.

Introduction :

Reality shifting, the practice of consciously transferring one's awareness to an alternate reality or desired reality, has gained significant attention in recent years. As more individuals explore this metaphysical concept, the importance of spiritual hygiene represents a crucial factor in order to shift succesfully. This essay delves into the often overlooked aspect of maintaining spiritual cleanliness and its profound impact on a shifters journey.

Just as we maintain physical hygiene for our bodily health, spiritual hygiene is essential for our energetic and mental well-being, particularly when engaging in practices that involve altering our state of consciousness. By examining the foundations of spiritual hygiene, exploring effective practices, and understanding the consequences of neglecting this vital aspect, we can make our shifting journey smoother and easier.

In the following sections, we will explore the intricate relationship between spiritual hygiene and reality shifting, providing insights and practical guidance for those seeking to optimize their shifting journey.

Disclaimer : Read Post entirely if you didnt understand something tell me and i'l clarify it for you.

Masterlist

I. Foundations of Spiritual Hygiene in Reality Shifting

A. Defining spiritual hygiene

Spiritual hygiene, in the context of reality shifting, refers to the practice of maintaining a clean, balanced, and harmonious energetic state of being. It encompasses various techniques and habits that aim to purify one's spiritual, mental, and emotional bodies/states. Just as physical hygiene involves cleansing and caring for our physical bodies, spiritual hygiene focuses on cleansing and nurturing our non-physical aspects.

At its core, spiritual hygiene is about cultivating a state of inner clarity, positivity, and alignment with one's higher self. This involves:

Energetic cleansing: Regularly clearing one's aura/energy/chakras of negative and stagnant energies that may accumulate from daily interactions, stress, or environmental factors.

Mental clarity: Maintaining a clear and focused mind, free from excessive worry, doubt, or negative thought patterns.

Emotional balance: Processing and releasing emotions in a healthy manner, avoiding emotional stagnation or overwhelming states.

Intentional living: Aligning one's thoughts, actions, and intentions with their highest values and spiritual goals.

Spiritual connection: Nurturing a connection with one's inner guidance, higher self, or preferred spiritual entities.

Energetic boundaries: Establishing and maintaining healthy energetic boundaries to protect oneself from external negative influences.

Vibrational upliftment: Consistently raising one's vibrational frequency through positive practices, thoughts, and experiences.

In the context of reality shifting, spiritual hygiene takes on additional significance as it directly influences one's ability to navigate between different states of consciousness and therefore realities.

B. Connection between spiritual cleanliness and successful shifting

The practice of reality shifting requires a high degree of mental focus, emotional stability, and energetic alignment. Spiritual hygiene plays a crucial role in facilitating these conditions, thereby increasing the likelihood of successful shifting attempts. The connection between spiritual cleanliness and successful shifting can be understood through several key aspects:

Vibrational alignment: Reality shifting often involves attuning oneself to the vibrational frequency of your desired reality. A spiritually clean state allows for easier alignment with higher vibrational frequencies, making it more feasible to connect with and shift to your intended/desired reality.

Mental clarity and focus: A cluttered or chaotic mind can hinder the concentration required for shifting. Regular spiritual hygiene practices help clear mental fog, reduce intrusive thoughts, and enhance the ability to visualize and focus on the desired reality.

Emotional stability: Intense or unprocessed emotions can create energetic blockages that interfere with shifting attempts. Maintaining emotional balance through spiritual hygiene practices allows for a more stable and conducive state for shifting.

Energetic purity: A clean energy field is more receptive to the subtle energies involved in reality shifting. It allows for clearer channeling of intentions and easier detachment from the current reality.

Spiritual protection: Good spiritual hygiene includes practices that protect one's energy field. This is crucial during shifting attempts, as it helps prevent interference from unwanted energies habits and so on...

Intuition and guidance: A spiritually clean state enhances one's connection to inner guidance and intuition. This can be invaluable during shifting, helping navigate the process and make decisions aligned with one's highest good.

Belief and intention amplification: Spiritual hygiene practices often involve affirmations, visualizations, and intention-setting. These reinforce the belief in one's ability to shift and amplify the power of intentions, both critical factors in successful shifts.

Energetic flexibility: Regular spiritual cleansing increases one's energetic flexibility, making it easier to adapt to the vibrations of different realities and facilitating smoother transitions during shifting attempts.

Subconscious alignment: Many spiritual hygiene practices work on a subconscious level, helping to align deeper parts of the psyche with the conscious desire to shift. This internal harmony can significantly enhance shifting success.

Resilience and perseverance: The discipline cultivated through consistent spiritual hygiene practices builds mental and emotional resilience. This is crucial for persevering through challenges or initial unsuccessful attempts in your reality shifting journey.It can help you fights against negatives habits ,thoughts and allow you to break through and not to give up.

In essence, spiritual hygiene creates an optimal internal environment for reality shifting. It clears obstacles, enhances necessary skills, and aligns one's entire being with the goal of shifting. By maintaining a high standard of spiritual cleanliness, practitioners of reality shifting can significantly increase their chances of success, enjoy more vivid and controlled experiences, and navigate the process with greater ease and safety.

Moreover, the benefits of spiritual hygiene extend beyond just facilitating successful shifts. It also helps in integrating shifting experiences, processing the insights gained from different realities, and maintaining overall well-being throughout one's shifting journey. As such, spiritual hygiene should be considered a fundamental and ongoing practice for anyone seriously engaged in reality shifting.

For exemple this is what happened in 2020. Rememeber when people told you to drink water clean your room take a shower etc... That was exemples of spiritual Hygiene .Theres tons of ways to do it but those where somme common exemples that people did you didnt have to follow them by the letters but it helped a lot of people.

II. Practices for Maintaining Spiritual Hygiene

A. Cleansing rituals and techniques

Maintaining spiritual hygiene requires regular cleansing practices to remove energetic debris, reset one's vibration, and create a clean slate for reality shifting. Here are some effective cleansing rituals and techniques:

Smudging: This ancient practice involves burning sacred herbs like sage , palo santo (White Sage and Palo Santo are cultural appropriation), or cedar to cleanse spaces and auras. The smoke is believed to attach to negative energies and carry them away as it dissipates.

Salt baths: Soaking in a bath with sea salt or Epsom salt can draw out and absorb negative energies and toxins from the body and aura. Adding essential oils can enhance the cleansing effect.

Visualization meditation: Imagine a bright white or golden light flowing through your body, cleansing every cell and your entire energy field. Visualize negative energies being washed away or transmuted into positive light.

Sound cleansing: Use singing bowls, bells, or specific frequencies (like 528 Hz) to cleanse your energy field. The vibrations help break up stagnant energies and realign your personal frequency.

Breathwork: Practices like holotropic breathwork can help clear energetic blockages and oxygenate the body, promoting a sense of lightness and clarity.

Crystal cleansing: Use crystals like clear quartz or black tourmaline to absorb negative energies. Pass them through your aura or place them on specific body parts to draw out unwanted energies.

Energy combing: Visualize or use your hands to "comb" through your aura, removing any stuck or tangled energies.

Grounding exercises: Connect with the earth's energy through barefoot walking, hugging trees, or visualizing roots growing from your feet into the earth.This will help you ground yourself which is key to prevent spiritual psychosis.

Chakra balancing: Focus on each chakra, visualizing it spinning cleanly and brightly, removing any blockages or imbalances.

Journaling and emotional release: Write out negative thoughts or emotions to acknowledge and release them from your energetic system.

Shadow Work : Arguably the best method of spiritual hygiene out there it invovles digging deep inside yourself in order to incover part of yourself that may cause issues or explain why you act the way that you act.If there is a question you feel like it makes you feel weird or that you are trying to dodge it that means that it is where you should dig.

B. Ongoing maintenance of spiritual purity

While periodic deep cleansing is important, maintaining spiritual hygiene requires consistent daily practices. Here are some techniques for ongoing maintenance:

Morning and evening rituals: Develop a routine that includes practices like meditation, affirmations, or energy clearing to start and end each day with a clean slate.

Mindfulness practice: Stay aware of your thoughts and emotions throughout the day, addressing any negativity promptly to prevent energetic buildup.

Energy shielding: Visualize a protective bubble or shield around your aura each morning to deflect negative energies throughout the day.

Regular meditation: Incorporate daily meditation to quiet the mind, release stress, and maintain a high vibrational state.

Gratitude practice: Cultivate an attitude of gratitude through journaling or mental acknowledgment, which naturally elevates your spiritual vibration.

Nature connection: Spend time in nature regularly to reset your energy and align with the earth's natural rhythms.

Healthy lifestyle choices: Maintain a balanced diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep to support overall energetic health.

Conscious consumption: Be mindful of the media, conversations, and environments you expose yourself to, avoiding those that lower your vibration.

Regular energy checks: Perform quick energy scans throughout the day, clearing any accumulated negativity.

Affirmations and positive self-talk: Use affirmations to maintain a positive mindset and high vibration.

Spiritual study: Engage in regular reading or learning about spiritual topics to keep your practice fresh and evolving.

Decluttering: Regularly clear your physical space, as this often corresponds to energetic clearing.

Sacred space maintenance: Keep a dedicated area for spiritual practices, regularly cleansing and energizing this space.

Intention setting: Start each day or week by setting clear, positive intentions for your spiritual hygiene and shifting practices.

Prayer : Prayer can be a form of spiritual hygiene where you pray and visualise or accept that whoever you pray to will grant you what you asked for.

Self Care: "As within,So without . As without So Within" this saying states whatever action taken in the physical or the spiritual will reflect on the other side.So taking care of yourself physically will also help you mentally. I know it is easier said then done but just trying even a litlle bit is enough and can help you tremendously. Things like brushing your teeth,doing skin care lisenting to music that makes you feel good is beneficial.

By incorporating these cleansing rituals and maintenance practices into daily life, reality shifters can create and sustain an optimal energetic environment for their shifting attempts. This consistent attention to spiritual hygiene not only enhances the shifting experience but also contributes to overall well-being, clarity of mind, and spiritual growth. Remember, the key to effective spiritual hygiene is consistency and personalization – finding the practices that resonate most strongly with you and making them a regular part of your routine.

III. Consequences of Poor or Absent Spiritual Hygiene

A. Negative impacts on shifting attempts

Neglecting spiritual hygiene can significantly hinder reality shifting efforts and lead to various undesirable outcomes:

Difficulty in shifting: A cluttered energy field can create barriers to successfully transitioning between realities, making it harder to initiate or maintain a shift (as in grounding yourself in your DR).

Inconsistent or unstable shifts: Poor spiritual hygiene may result in shifts that are brief, unclear, or difficult to control, leading to fragmented or unsatisfying experiences.

Unintended destinations: Without proper energetic alignment, shifters might find themselves in realities that don't match their intentions, potentially leading to confusion or distress.

Increased vulnerability to intrusive thoughts: A lack of mental clarity can amplify doubts, fears, and negative thoughts during shifting attempts, sabotaging the process.

Energetic interference: An unprotected or "dirty" energy field may attract or allow interference from unwanted energies or "entities" (the whole entity thing cannot happen but some shifters claimed it to be so but you quickly realize that it is all in their head and they start going into spiritual psychosis) during shifting, potentially leading to disruptive or even frightening experiences.

Difficulty in maintaining focus: Poor spiritual hygiene can result in a scattered mind, making it challenging to concentrate on shifting intentions or visualizations.

Emotional instability during shifts: Unprocessed emotions or energetic imbalances may surface during shifting attempts, causing emotional turbulence that disrupts the experience.

Difficulty in returning or grounding: Poor spiritual hygiene may complicate the process of returning to the original reality or grounding oneself after a shift.

Increased skepticism and self-doubt: Repeated unsuccessful or unsatisfying shifting attempts due to poor spiritual hygiene may erode confidence in one's ability to shift, creating a negative feedback loop that could cause a snowball effect and scar you for life.

B. Potential risks to personal well-being and energy

Beyond impacting shifting attempts, neglecting spiritual hygiene can have broader consequences for one's overall well-being:

Energy depletion: Constant exposure to negative energies without proper cleansing can lead to chronic fatigue, low motivation, and a general sense of being drained.

Increased susceptibility to negative influences: A weakened energy field may make one more vulnerable to picking up others' negative emotions or thought patterns.

Emotional imbalance: Poor spiritual hygiene can result in mood swings, irritability, or persistent negative emotional states.

Mental fog and confusion: Accumulation of energetic debris can lead to difficulty in concentration, decision-making, and clarity of thought.

Physical manifestations: Prolonged energetic imbalances may eventually manifest as physical discomfort or health issues.

Spiritual disconnection: Neglecting spiritual hygiene can lead to a sense of disconnection from one's higher self, intuition, or spiritual guidance.

Relationship strain: An imbalanced energy field can negatively impact interactions with others, leading to misunderstandings or conflicts.

Increased anxiety or paranoia: Poor energetic boundaries may result in feeling overwhelmed by external energies, leading to heightened anxiety or paranoid thoughts.

Stagnation in personal growth: Neglecting spiritual practices can hinder overall spiritual development and self-awareness.

Negative thought spirals: Without proper cleansing and maintenance, negative thought patterns can become entrenched, leading to a pessimistic outlook on life.

Blocked intuition: An unclear energy field can muffle intuitive signals, making it harder to make decisions aligned with one's highest good.

Increased sensitivity to environmental stressors: Poor spiritual hygiene can make one more susceptible to the negative effects of electromagnetic fields, crowd energies, or other environmental factors.

Difficulty in manifesting desires: Since reality shifting is closely related to manifestation, poor spiritual hygiene can obstruct one's ability to attract positive experiences or outcomes in any reality.

Karmic accumulation: Some believe that neglecting spiritual cleanliness can lead to the accumulation of negative karma, potentially affecting future experiences across realities.

Loss of energetic discernment: Without regular cleansing and maintenance, it may become increasingly difficult to distinguish between one's own energies and external influences.

In addition to the previously mentioned risks, it's crucial to highlight more severe consequences that have affected some shifters who neglected spiritual hygiene:

Mental health misinterpretations: Many individuals who attempted shifting without proper spiritual hygiene have experienced mental distress, leading them to mistakenly attribute these issues to shifting itself. This has resulted in some believing they developed psychosis or other mental health conditions, when in fact, these were consequences of poor energetic maintenance.

Physical and mental scars: Neglecting spiritual hygiene has left some shifters with lasting mental and physical scars. These may manifest as persistent anxiety, unexplained physical sensations, or a lingering sense of disconnection from their original reality.

Loss of faith in shifting: Due to negative experiences stemming from poor spiritual hygiene, some practitioners have erroneously concluded that shifting is "fake" or dangerous, abandoning the practice altogether.

Energetic attachments: Some shifters have reported feeling like they've brought back unwanted energetic attachments or entities from other realities, leading to persistent feelings of being watched or influenced by external forces.

Reality bleed-through: Poor boundaries between realities, caused by inadequate spiritual hygiene, have led to some shifters experiencing unsettling "bleed-through" effects, where elements of other realities intrude into their daily life.(These are nothing more than extreamly vivid hallucinations and at this point please seek help this is not normal at all).

Difficulty in maintaining a stable sense of self: Some practitioners have struggled with identity issues after shifting, finding it hard to reconcile their experiences across different realities. This is often exacerbated by poor spiritual hygiene practices.

Chronic fatigue and energy depletion: Many shifters have reported feeling constantly drained, unable to shake off fatigue even with adequate physical rest, due to energetic imbalances.(and again you are not suppoised to feel exhausted or tired when you shift back to your CR/OR considering that it is not that version of you who did all those things but your DR self not your OR self by logic it shoudnt and cannot happen)

Increased sensitivity to negative energies: Some individuals have developed hypersensitivity to energies around them, finding it overwhelming to be in crowded places or around certain individuals.

Nightmares and sleep disturbances: Poor spiritual hygiene has led to some shifters experiencing persistent nightmares or feeling like they're involuntarily shifting during sleep, disrupting their rest and daily functioning.

Difficulty in grounding: Some practitioners have found it challenging to fully "return" to their CR (current reality) or feel grounded in daily life, leading to a persistent feeling of dissociation.

It's important to emphasize that these negative experiences are not inherent to the practice of reality shifting itself, but rather consequences of neglecting proper spiritual hygiene. Shifting, being a spiritual practice, requires the same level of care and maintenance as any other spiritual or energetic work. Just as a healthy body contributes to a healthy mind, maintaining spiritual hygiene is vital for a healthy shifting practice and overall well-being.

By understanding these potential risks and the importance of spiritual hygiene, practitioners can approach reality shifting more responsibly and safely. This awareness can help prevent negative experiences and misconceptions about shifting, allowing individuals to explore this practice in a balanced and beneficial manner.

If you do not beleive me do it yourself. As in do the research look at the articles testimonies and story time from "ex-shifters". You will soon realize that it all stems for a poor or non existant spiritual hygiene that's what fucked them up.Not Shifting, they shot themselves in the foot.

Conlcusion :

Reality shifting, a practice of consciously transferring awareness to alternate realities, relies heavily on proper spiritual hygiene. This concept encompasses techniques for maintaining energetic cleanliness and balance, which are crucial for successful shifting experiences and overall well-being.

Spiritual hygiene in shifting involves regular cleansing rituals, such as smudging, meditation, and energy work, as well as ongoing practices like mindfulness, grounding, and energy protection. These techniques create an optimal internal environment for shifting by clearing energetic debris, enhancing focus, and aligning one's vibration with desired realities.

Neglecting spiritual hygiene can lead to significant challenges, including difficulty in shifting, unstable experiences, and potential risks to mental and physical health. Some practitioners have mistakenly attributed negative effects of poor spiritual hygiene to shifting itself, leading to misconceptions about the practice. By understanding and prioritizing spiritual hygiene, shifters can enhance their experiences, prevent negative outcomes, and foster holistic well-being across all realities they encounter.

In essence, spiritual hygiene is not just a supplementary aspect of reality shifting, but a fundamental component that ensures safe, enriching, and transformative experiences. As the practice of reality shifting continues to evolve, emphasizing the importance of spiritual hygiene will be crucial in creating a responsible and rewarding approach to this profound spiritual journey.

#reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting #desired reality #shifting community #shifting realities #shifters #reality shift #reality shifter #shifting antis dni

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butterfly-ribbon · 4 months ago

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i keep thinking about secret distance; it's not only mizuki's first event. effectively, it's triggered by ena's breakdown about art and subsequent escape to sekai. mizuki's internalized guilt and regret are rooted in the thought that "if we'd known about how ena had been suffering for so long, we could have done something to help. but we didn't until she fell into self-destruction and shut herself off from the entire world." secret distance is, then, all about mizuki's desire to learn about everyone else in order to get ahead of such fears — in order to become the support she feels they all desperately need. unfortunately, it's all give and no take, bc mizuki never intends to give anything of herself over to niigo in return.

this in conjunction with meiko's introduction to the empty sekai is particularly interesting. it is made evident that meiko is the vocaloid most representative to mizuki's heart — this meiko who is deadpan, avoidant, and fundamentally distant from all others as she takes to observation over action — she solely exists in this sekai as a reflection of mizuki herself. it's very specific and makes meiko so compelling; not only bc having the cheerful character who Tries Too Hard to be kind to others also be cold and distant on the inside makes me insane, it's also bc meiko has mafuyu's "emotionless doll" interior with ena's embittered tongue atop mizuki's closed heart. it's pointed for them introduce meiko's desire to watch from afar without involvement (without giving herself over to others) in the same event where mizuki wants to secretly learn all she can about others while distancing herself to avoid revealing information in return.

further interesting is that one of the first few things project sekai tells us about mizuki per niigo's intro is how little interest she has in ever going outside; she can easily access any anime or film she desires through the internet — through her little room, her oasis, her utopia, the glass in which she bottles her every emotion. mizuki's engagement with fiction informs the nature of how she self-narrativizes. this, in turn, permeates her every interpersonal action. mizuki constructs her outward persona around the trope of the Silly Genki Girl, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, the Ball of Sunshine, Well of Endless Optimism — she constructs a self who exists purely to provide support, solely to help others with their own problems at the cost of her own (and oh, how costly it is) bc of her hyper-cognizance of the reality that will only accept this type of self. this is the kind of girl the world expects her to be. these are the sole means by which she can maintain space for herself.

so, we come as always back to transmisogyny. her transness is seen unpalatable enough as is, so she cannot afford to be a real person with real problems — she has no choice but to be an idea and a trope and an archetype (a beautiful breakdown of how many gacha games have to work in Selling An Archetype to as many Fans as possible). this isn't helped by how mizuki's current point in life actually has positive qualities; she has the "privilege" of a part-time job at a clothing store which is related to her own interest in fashion. she gets to practice her artistic hobby comfortably (making clothes, wearing clothes, modifying clothes, engaging with clothes as a form of communication), unlike the rest of niigo. kanade, mafuyu, ena; all of them struggle so much with the idea of making art. it is something painful, sometimes poisonous, for them. it contributes to that sense of "privilege" bc a transmisogynistic society is always primed to ignore the misogyny that trans girls are endlessly subjected to bc they're not "real" problems.

returning to the specifics of the event — it is so pointed that every horror story mizuki tells during her personally constructed mystery tour are singularly centered around girls (we'll leave aside how the mystery tour so easily goes hand-in-hand with her literal locked room in The Path of Thorns, but it's important to recognize always and it's also important to recognize that mizuki's interest in horror is largely bc women are what make horror what it is).

the tunnel ghost who was a girl in pain, villified bc "hearing her out" leads to the listener being cursed, two sisters who loved each other more than anything to the point they were willing to curse others for having that which they themselves lost, and a girl who committed suicide due to everyone's expectations crushing her (mafuyu explicitly states she relates to this, but we can see how kanade and ena are also meant to be related back to the previous stories). these yuurei not only reflect niigo, but further reflect mizuki herself. mizuki desperately wishes to be seen; to receive the same engagement as one of them (as a cis girl would be engaged with). yet this only amplifies her guilt, and so distances herself with fiction as her only medium to connect.

one of my favorite parts is when they visit the shrine. mizuki begins to ask niigo if they have someone they would consider special enough to curse in this way; only to say "I don't, either," and how this makes them all kindred spirits. we can tell, however, that mizuki relates to this story far more than she's willing to let on. but she can't allow herself to be vulnerable or voice such things; if she says it, it will become real and she can't allow that due to her abandonment issues. meiko follows this scene to note that mizuki cares so much about these girls, yet how mizuki is the one she worries most for bc she carries a great weight — meiko's concern is further shown in a scene where mizuki goes to sekai when searching for mafuyu after she disappeared. there, she has a conversation with meiko. in that conversation, meiko tells mizuki "i hope you can stay together with niigo for a long time." further, at the end of the event, before singing IDsmile with everyone, mizuki explicitly states meiko was right — and that meiko is the one who most understands her feelings.

cherry blossoms are vital to every measure of this event and mizuki's life. petals fall in remembrance of every time mizuki's relationships have ended; every time someone has left her life, another petal mars the environs before her. these people could not accept her bc they discovered her "truth" and thus those relationships could never develop into something meaningful or lasting. cherry blossoms are symbolic of both endings and beginnings; "rebirth" inherently intertwined with death. when niigo as a whole struggles deeply with suicidal ideation, this amplifies the sense mizuki has, perhaps, the most intense desire for death of all.

it makes sense that mizuki has such negativity for cherry blossoms as all her life she's had to simply observe at a distance when others transitioned through so many stages of life while maintaining relationships with others — while she was disallowed such a simple, such a fundamental experience for something she can't help and something that is an inherent part of who she is.

in umineko the thesis statement says, "without love, it cannot be seen." the sea can be vibrant blue and miserable gray at the same time, depending on the person looking upon it and whether they're human or furniture. it is not until mizuki stands there, looking at niigo, that she realizes cherry blossoms could be beautiful. it is not until she is allowed love that she can see color. it is not until she is allowed to be human that she becomes terrified of the future. meiko is, in many ways, the 'degendered' aspect of mizuki; if nothing else, she is a symbol of how degendering means turning an individual into an emotionless doll without the right for recognition or further analysis. meiko is a self that was forced into existence bc mizuki can no longer continue to ignore her own humanity in full — the "doll" side of her is now looking at her dispassionately and telling her you can't go on like this, you can't go on bottling up all your emotions.

thus, we see that her worst memories are utterly recontexualized due to the narrative she wove throughout the event culminating in a tree for which mizuki had nevered accounted. this was a mysterious thing discovered by mafuyu (much as the sekai is full of things for them to discover, things that were always there, that they simply needed eyes with which to see). mizuki previously decided against cherry blossom viewing with the others bc of those painful memories. and now… the culmination of their trip is an unexpected viewing which leads to kanade being inspired. the "spoken" goal that mizuki had hidden her "secret" goals beneath.

yet there's still an unshakeable fear within mizuki. the joy of seeing such a sight with those she cherishes also leads to terror at the idea of revealing her secret. though she now has "love", she does not have faith. she cannot guarantee their relationship will continue as it has unless she remains a cis girl in their eyes. she's at a loss for words when the realization of how truly attached she is to niigo hits and that she isn't content with being alone anymore and actually wants to be with them by next year...

we come to an end, but i always have to express… just how much i adore this event. how i love the focus it gives mizuki's perspective, her interiority. she is always thinking. analyzing. inferring. investigating. she presents herself as extroverted and playful, but that is The Shield. it lets her keep others at arm's length and gives her a mask to hide both her loneliness and anxiety. despite her desire for closeness and connection with niigo, there is an immense degree of conflict within her. they began as simple online friends working on songs, but it was never that personal or close. it shifted quicker than she could ever expect once they met in sekai and then in real life, leading to more intimate understandings of one another. it's exciting, exhilarating, and terrifying. mizuki wants to be closer, wants to know them better, to discover new sides, but this comes with an immense cost. she sets the stage for them to express themselves or work through their issues while withdrawing herself. she is the playwright and never the performer, despite her life itself being endless performance. she's there and yet not. she becomes a ghost - yuurei - bourei - herself. she echoes meiko's sentiment, "i plan to keep my distance and observe how things go for you."

secret distance is about mizuki archiving, revisiting her pain, digging into the past, and ultimately… chasing her own ghost until she realizes that she can no longer be that ghost anymore...

#project sekai #gamo.txt

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herstoryheaven · 9 months ago

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Descendants Evie x Reader: Charming Lies, True Hearts

Prompt: Evie x fem!reader enemies to lovers? maybe they’re roommates at auradon prep and they just really can’t stand eachother but there’s lowkey a lot of tension there and they end up kissing??? idk I’m just a sucker for enemies to lovers and also evie so.

Reader: Female

Word count: 4417

Average reading time: 16 min 5 sec

Category: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: None

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Disclaimer: All events portrayed in my stories are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental. Any actions or behaviours portrayed by the characters may differ from reality and cannot be connected to any actual person. This work is purely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only.

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Auradon Prep was supposed to be perfect, but Y/n Charming had learned long ago that even fairy tales had their share of complications. The picturesque towers, the neatly trimmed gardens, and the glittering gowns were all a part of her everyday life. As the daughter of Prince Charming and Cinderella, she had grown up surrounded by the ideals of chivalry and grace, but nothing in her upbringing had prepared her for the chaos that came with the four new transfer students from the Isle of the Lost.

Y/n stood by the grand entrance of Auradon Prep, together with her twin brother Chad, and watched as Mal, Evie, Jay, and Carlos stepped out of the limousine. Chad, as usual, was preoccupied with his reflection in a hand mirror, checking that every blond strand was perfectly in place. Y/n rolled her eyes. ‘Of course, he was more interested in his hair than the newcomers. Typical Chad.’

But Y/n’s attention was immediately drawn to Evie, the blue-haired daughter of the Evil Queen, who stepped out right after Mal, with an air of regal confidence that almost rivaled her own. Evie’s deep blue hair framed her face perfectly, and her lips were painted a bold red that made her look both enchanting and mysterious. Y/n’s heart skipped a beat, a reaction that she instantly dismissed as annoyance. ‘She will be just like her mother, obsessed with finding a prince and crown.’

“Welcome to Auradon Prep!” Ben’s voice rang out as he greeted the Isle kids with a warm smile. The Prince of Auradon was as princely as they came, handsome, kind, and idealistic. Y/n respected him, but she couldn’t help feeling skeptical about this entire experiment. Bringing villains’ children into Auradon? What was he thinking?

As introductions were made, Y/n noticed Evie’s gaze lingering on Chad. She didn’t miss the way Evie’s smile widened as her eyes raked over her twin brother, who was still engrossed in his mirror. ‘Of course, she’d set her sights on Chad, prince Charming. How predictable.’

Y/n’s lips pressed into a thin line as the knot of annoyance in her stomach tightened. ‘Doesn’t she have any sense, any selfrespect? My brother? Really?’

-----

The day went on with the usual bustle of new students settling in, and Y/n soon found herself in her dormitory, unpacking some new dresses her mother had sent her from the royal palace. The room was her space to hide when the royal life became a bit too much to handle, a space she had cherished for its isolation. But that was before she learned that she would no longer have it to herself.

“Y/n.” Ben called out as he entered her room. Y/n looked up, already dreading the words that would follow.

“Hi, Ben. What’s up?” she asked, trying to sound cheerful despite the sinking feeling in her chest.

“I need to talk to you about your rooming situation.” he started, his tone apologetic. “We’re a bit short on space with the new arrivals, and I was hoping you wouldn’t mind sharing your room with Mal and Evie.”

Y/n’s jaw tightened, but she forced a smile. “Of course. I understand.”

“Great! I knew I could count on you.” Ben said, clearly relieved. “They should be here any minute to settle in.”

The door barely closed behind him when Mal and Evie walked in, Evie’s luggage trailing behind her like a royal entourage. Y/n immediately noticed that Evie had already put on her most charming smile, the one that had undoubtedly been used to manipulate countless others. Mal, on the other hand, exuded a quiet confidence, her eyes scanning the room with a calculating sharpness that made Y/n’s skin prickle. This wasn’t just any ordinary duo—they were the daughters of some of the most infamous villains in history, and their presence was impossible to ignore.

“Hi, roomie!” Evie chirped, her voice sweet enough to rot teeth. “I hope we’ll get along just splendidly.”

Y/n turned away to hide her grimace. “Yeah, sure. Just keep your stuff on your side, and we’ll be fine.”

Mal’s eyes flickered between the two girls, sensing the tension almost immediately. She leaned casually against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest as if she were settling in to watch a show. “Nice place.” she commented, her voice dripping with amusement. “It’s almost as cozy as a dungeon.”

Evie’s eyes scanned the room, settling on Chad’s portrait hanging by Y/n’s bedside. “Oh, that’s a lovely picture of Chad.” she mused, stepping closer to get a better look. “He really is as handsome as the stories say.”

Y/n’s hands balled into fists. ‘Oh, for the love of—does she ever stop?’ “You know, there’s more to Auradon than just chasing after princes.” Y/n said, trying to keep her voice even, but the edge in her tone was unmistakable.

Evie turned to face her, a small smirk playing on her lips. “Who says I’m just chasing after princes? But if I were, who could blame me? He’s perfection.”

Mal raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained by the exchange. “Perfection, huh? I didn’t think perfection was your type, Evie.”

Evie shrugged, her smile never faltering. “It’s not about perfection, Mal. It’s about potential.”

The casual way Evie dismissed the gravity of the situation only fueled Y/n’s anger. The thought of this girl, this daughter of a villain, trying to sink her claws into Chad, was infuriating. ‘How can she not see how ridiculous she’s being?’

“You might want to reconsider,” Y/n said, her voice sharper than she intended. “Chad isn’t as Charming as you might think he is. He is a first-class manipulator, using girls for his own benefit.”

The words were out before Y/n could stop them, and the room fell into a stunned silence. Evie’s eyes widened, her expression unreadable as she processed Y/n’s outburst. For a moment, Y/n regretted saying anything, but the thought of Evie pursuing Chad had clouded her judgment.

Mal let out a low whistle, her eyes flicking between Evie and Y/n with newfound interest. “Well, this just got interesting.”

Evie finally spoke, her voice calm but laced with an undercurrent of something darker. “You know, Y/n, it’s funny how you seem to know so much about Chad’s flaws. Almost like you’ve had some personal experience with them.”

Y/n’s heart skipped a beat, her mind racing to formulate a response. She hadn’t expected Evie to turn the tables so quickly. But this was no time to back down. She took a deep breath, steadying herself before she spoke.

“That’s because Chad is my twin brother.” Y/n said, her voice firm. “That’s how I know exactly what he’s like. I’ve seen it all firsthand, every sweet word, every charming smile, every single time he’s played someone to get what he wants. And trust me, Evie, you don’t want to be the next one to get her heart broken by prince charming.”

The room fell into a thick, tense silence as Evie processed this new information. Her smirk faltered for just a moment, her eyes narrowing as she reassessed Y/n. Mal, too, seemed caught off guard, her cocky grin slipping as she regarded Y/n with a new level of respect or perhaps wariness.

Evie’s smile returned, but it was colder this time, devoid of the warmth it had feigned earlier. “We’ll see, won’t we?” she said, her voice dangerously sweet. “Maybe I’ll surprise you.”

Mal pushed off the wall, a wicked grin spreading across her face. “This is going to be so much fun,” she said, her tone laced with dark excitement.

-----

The days following the confrontation in Y/n's dorm room were tense and filled with a thick atmosphere of unspoken rivalry. Evie had become more determined than ever to prove Y/n wrong, throwing herself into her pursuit of Chad with an intensity that made Y/n’s stomach churn. Mal, ever the instigator, watched the unfolding drama with an amused smirk, offering her support to Evie in ways that only fueled the flames.

Evie’s efforts didn’t go unnoticed. Chad, with his easy smile and princely charm, seemed to take to Evie’s attention like a moth to a flame. He invited her to study sessions, complimented her on her designs, and even started seeking her out during free periods. To anyone looking in from the outside, it might have seemed like the perfect fairy tale. Evie, the beautiful, talented daughter of the Evil Queen, winning the heart of Auradon’s golden boy.

But Y/n knew better.

She saw the way Chad’s eyes glazed over when Evie gushed about her latest fashion project. She noticed how he barely touched the homemade lunches Evie lavished upon him, and how he only truly seemed interested when the conversation turned to something he could gain from. The longer it went on, the more Y/n’s heart ached for Evie, despite their rocky start. Evie, for all her faults, genuinely believed she was getting what her mother had always told her. A prince, a crown, a future, validation of her worth. But Chad wasn’t interested in any of that. He was interested in one thing only: what Evie could do for him.

One afternoon, Y/n found herself in the library, trying to focus on her own homework when she overheard a familiar voice.

“Evie, you’re such a lifesaver,” Chad said, his tone dripping with feigned gratitude. “I don’t know how I’d get through all this without you.”

Y/n peeked around the corner of a bookshelf to see Chad leaning casually against a table, his signature smirk plastered on his face. Evie sat across from him, her face glowing with pride as she handed him a neatly organized stack of papers.

“Oh, it’s no problem at all,” Evie replied, her voice full of warmth. “I’m happy to help.”

Chad glanced over the papers, not even pretending to read them. “You’re amazing,” he said, flashing her a grin that Y/n had seen countless times before. It was the same grin that had melted hearts all over Auradon, and the same grin he used to get what he wanted. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

Evie blushed, ducking her head shyly. “You don’t have to say that, Chad.”

“No, I mean it,” Chad insisted, leaning in closer. “You’ve been incredible, Evie. I’m so glad we’re spending more time together.”

Y/n’s stomach turned as she watched the scene unfold. She could see the hope in Evie’s eyes, the belief that she was finally getting the prince she’d always dreamed of. But Y/n also saw the way Chad’s smile never reached his eyes, the way he pocketed the papers with a careless flick of his wrist before turning his attention back to his phone, clearly more interested in the latest social media update than in Evie.

It was sickening.

Chad played his part well, though. Over the next few weeks, he continued to reel Evie in with sweet words and hollow compliments, always careful to keep her hooked just enough to ensure she’d do his homework, help him study for tests, and provide a steady stream of the answers and resources he needed to maintain his grades.

But as much as it pained Y/n to see, she couldn’t interfere, not yet. She needed Evie to see Chad for who he really was, to realize that her so-called “prince” was nothing more than a shallow manipulator who saw her as a means to an end.

The opportunity came sooner than she expected.

It was a Friday afternoon, and Y/n had just finished her last class when she noticed Evie sitting alone in one of the courtyard gazebos, her usually vibrant expression clouded with worry. Y/n hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to approach her. The memory of their tense exchange in their dorm still lingered, but something about the way Evie sat there, her shoulders hunched and her fingers twisting nervously in her lap, convinced Y/n to act.

“Evie.” Y/n said softly as she approached, careful not to startle her.

Evie looked up, surprise flashing in her eyes before she quickly masked it with a forced smile. “Oh, hey, Y/n. What’s up?”

Y/n sat down next to her, the words heavy on her tongue. “I saw you with Chad earlier.” she began, trying to keep her voice gentle. “You seemed… happy.”

Evie’s smile faltered. “Yeah, well… Chad’s been really nice to me lately. He even said he might take me to the next royal ball.”

Y/n felt a pang in her chest, knowing exactly where this was heading. “Evie, I—”

“I know what you’re going to say.” Evie interrupted, her voice suddenly defensive. “You’re going to tell me I’m being used. That Chad doesn’t care about me. But you’re wrong, Y/n. You don’t know him like I do.”

“Evie, I do know him.” Y/n said firmly, her voice tinged with urgency. “He’s my brother. I’ve seen him do this before, he pretends to care just enough to get what he wants, but he never really does. You’re smarter than this, Evie. You have to see that.”

For a moment, Evie didn’t respond. She stared down at her hands, her expression conflicted. Y/n could see the war waging in her mind, the struggle between wanting to believe in the fairy tale and facing the harsh reality.

Finally, Evie spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “He told me he loves me, Y/n. That I’m different from all the other girls.”

Y/n’s heart broke a little at the vulnerability in Evie’s voice. “That’s what he always says.” she said softly. “He knows exactly what to say to make someone feel special. But, Evie… he’s using you. I’ve heard him bragging to his friends about how easy it is to get you to do his homework. He doesn’t care about you, he cares about what you can do for him.”

Evie’s eyes welled up with tears, her lip trembling as she tried to keep her composure. “But… I thought…”

Y/n reached out, placing a hand on Evie’s arm. “You deserve better than this, Evie. You’re talented, smart, and kind. Don’t let him make you feel like you need to prove your worth by doing his work. You don’t need Chad or any prince to validate you.”

For a long moment, Evie sat in silence, her emotions swirling in her eyes. Y/n could see the realization dawning on her, the painful truth sinking in. Finally, Evie let out a shaky breath, wiping away the tears that had begun to spill down her cheeks.

“I just wanted to make my mom proud.” Evie admitted, her voice breaking. “She always told me I needed to find a prince… that it was the only way to prove I was worth something.”

Y/n squeezed her arm gently. “Your worth isn’t defined by some prince, Evie. You’re amazing all on your own. You are so smart and look at how far you’ve come since you got here. You even are about to launch your own clothing brand. And you did all of it without a prince, just being you is enough Evie.”

Evie looked at Y/n, a mix of gratitude and sorrow in her eyes. “Thank you, Y/n.” she whispered, her voice filled with sincerity. “I’m sorry for… everything.”

Y/n gave her a small, reassuring smile. “It’s okay. We’ve all made mistakes. The important thing is what you do next.”

Evie nodded, determination slowly replacing the sadness in her expression. “You’re right. I’m not going to let him use me anymore.”

-----

The atmosphere between Y/n and Evie shifted in the days following their heartfelt conversation in the courtyard. A tentative truce had formed, replacing the tension that once defined their interactions. But there was something more, something unspoken lingering between them, a connection that neither of them had expected.

Evie had kept her word. She distanced herself from Chad, focusing instead on her own studies and projects. Y/n noticed the change immediately, how Evie seemed more at ease, more confident in her own skin. It was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, allowing her true self to shine through.

The first time Y/n caught Evie looking at her, really looking at her, she felt her heart skip a beat. Evie’s gaze was intense, filled with something deeper than the casual glances they’d exchanged before. Y/n tried to dismiss it, telling herself it was nothing, but the flutter in her chest betrayed her.

One evening, as they sat in their dorm room, Evie working on a new dress design and Y/n pretending to study, the tension between them grew impossible to ignore. The silence was comfortable, but there was an electric undercurrent that neither could deny.

Evie was the first to break it. She set down her sketchpad and turned to Y/n, her blue eyes shimmering with a mixture of determination and something softer, something that made Y/n’s breath catch.

“Y/n,” Evie began, her voice gentle yet firm. “I’ve been thinking a lot… about everything that’s happened. About us.”

Y/n looked up from her textbook, her heart suddenly pounding. “Us?”

Evie smiled, a soft, almost shy smile that Y/n hadn’t seen before. “Yes, us. You’ve been so kind to me, even when I didn’t deserve it. You made me realize that I don’t need to chase after some prince to find my worth. And… I’ve realized something else, too.”

Y/n swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. “What’s that?”

Evie leaned in closer, her gaze never leaving Y/n’s. “I don’t want a prince. I never did, not really. What I want… what I’ve wanted all along… is someone who sees me for who I am, someone who challenges me, who makes me want to be better. Someone who’s not afraid to call me out when I’m being ridiculous, but who also believes in me, even when I don’t believe in myself.”

Y/n felt her pulse quicken as Evie’s words sank in. There was no mistaking the intent behind them, the way Evie’s eyes flicked to her lips before meeting her gaze again. “Evie, I…”

Evie didn’t let her finish. With a boldness that took Y/n’s breath away, she closed the distance between them, her lips brushing against Y/n’s in a kiss that was soft, tentative, but filled with so much emotion that it made Y/n’s head spin.

For a moment, Y/n was too stunned to react. But then she melted into the kiss, her hands instinctively reaching up to cup Evie’s face. The kiss deepened, and Y/n felt a warmth spread through her chest, a sensation that was both exhilarating and terrifying in its intensity.

When they finally broke apart, both girls were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other’s. Evie’s eyes sparkled with mischief, a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I told you I can get what I want and what I want is this incredible good looking, kind hearted, brave princess charming.” she murmured, her voice filled with playful confidence.

Y/n let out a shaky laugh, her heart swelling with something she hadn’t fully realized until this moment. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

Evie grinned, a teasing glint in her eyes. “You love it.”

And Y/n couldn’t deny it. She did love it, loved the way Evie made her feel, loved the way their banter had transformed into something deeper, something that made her heart race and her thoughts scatter. “Maybe I do.” she admitted, her voice soft.

Evie’s smile softened, her hand gently caressing Y/n’s cheek. “Goo.,” she whispered. “Because I’m falling for you, Y/n. And I want to see where this goes, if you’re willing.”

Y/n’s heart soared at Evie’s confession. She didn’t have to think twice. “I’m willing.” she replied, her voice steady and sure.

-----

A view days into their blossoming relationship, Evie approached Y/n with a sparkle in her eye and an air of excitement that immediately caught Y/n’s attention. They were sitting together in the dorm room, enjoying a quiet afternoon when Evie suddenly hopped off her bed, rummaging through her closet with a grin.

“What are you up to?” Y/n asked, curious but already feeling a flutter of anticipation.

Evie glanced back at her, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “Well, since we have our first official date tonight, I wanted to surprise you with something special.”

Y/n tilted her head, intrigued. “A surprise?”

Evie nodded, pulling out a garment bag and laying it carefully on her bed. “I’ve been working on something, and I think you’ll like it.”

With a teasing smile, Evie unzipped the bag to reveal a stunning dress, the likes of which Y/n had never seen before. The fabric was a soft, light shade of blue that shimmered faintly in the light, with delicate silver embroidery tracing intricate patterns along the bodice. The design was elegant yet simple, with a fitted waist and a flowing skirt that promised to swirl gracefully with every movement.

Y/n’s breath caught in her throat as she stared at the dress, her heart skipping a beat. “Evie… did you make this?”

Evie’s smile widened, a mixture of pride and nervousness in her expression. “I did. I wanted to make something just for you, something that would make you feel as special as you make me feel.”

Y/n was speechless for a moment, overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness behind the gesture. She reached out to touch the fabric, marveling at its softness. “It’s beautiful, Evie. I don’t even know what to say.”

Evie stepped closer, her eyes twinkling with affection. “Say you’ll wear it tonight. I want to see you in it.”

Y/n looked up at her, a warm blush spreading across her cheeks. “Of course I will,” she said softly, unable to hide the emotion in her voice. “Thank you.”

Evie beamed, her excitement contagious. “Perfect! Now, let’s get you dressed. I want everything to be just right.”

Y/n laughed, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement as Evie led her to the mirror. With gentle hands, Evie helped Y/n into the dress, carefully smoothing the fabric and adjusting the straps. As Y/n looked at herself in the mirror, she barely recognized the person staring back at her. The dress fit her perfectly, accentuating her figure in all the right places, and the color brought out the warmth in her eyes.

“You look stunning,” Evie whispered, her voice filled with awe as she stood behind Y/n, her hands resting on her shoulders. Their eyes met in the mirror, and Y/n felt her heart swell with love for the girl standing beside her.

“Evie, I… I don’t know what to say,” Y/n murmured. “This is the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

Evie’s expression softened, her hands sliding down to rest on Y/n’s waist. She leaned in, pressing a tender kiss behind Y/n’s ear, her lips lingering there for a moment. “You don’t have to say anything,” Evie whispered against her skin, her voice gentle and reassuring. “Just let me spoil you a little tonight, okay?”

Y/n smiled, turning around, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Evie’s lips. “I’m already spoiled just by being with you.”

Evie blushed at the compliment, but there was a glint of playful determination in her eyes as she stepped back, giving Y/n one last look-over. “Well, tonight is about making sure you feel as amazing as you are.”

Just then, the door to the dorm room swung open with a confident flourish, and Mal strolled in with a smirk that conveyed both satisfaction and a touch of amusement. “Looks like I’m just in time,” Mal said, her eyes dancing with a knowing glint. “You two look adorable. Is it date night already?”

Evie turned, her face lighting up with a mixture of surprise and annoyance. “Mal! We were just about to head out. Can’t you see we’re in the middle of something here?”

Mal’s smirk widened as she leaned casually against the doorframe. “Oh, I can see that. And it’s about time you two made things official. Enjoy your evening; it looks like it’s going to be a memorable one.”

Y/n and Evie exchanged a glance, both laughing softly at Mal’s timing. With a final glance and a reassuring squeeze of Y/n’s hand, Evie led her toward the door. Mal watched them leave, her smirk giving way to a genuine smile as she admired the love and joy radiating from the couple.

Y/n found herself walking through the gardens of Auradon Prep, the night air cool against her skin, but the warmth of Evie’s hand in hers keeping her heart racing. Evie had arranged for a private picnic beneath the stars, complete with twinkling fairy lights and a spread of all their favorite foods. The setting was magical, straight out of a fairy tale, and Y/n couldn’t help but marvel at the lengths Evie had gone to make the evening perfect.

As they settled on the blanket, surrounded by soft pillows and the gentle glow of the lights, Y/n couldn’t take her eyes off Evie. She looked radiant, her own dress a deep shade of sapphire blue that complimented beautifully with Y/n’s light blue. They sat close, their fingers intertwined, and Y/n felt a wave of gratitude wash over her, grateful for this moment, for this girl who had changed everything.

“You’ve really outdone yourself.” Y/n said softly, her voice filled with affection. “This is the most romantic thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Evie smiled, leaning in closer. “I wanted it to be special, just like you.” She paused, her eyes glinting with a playful edge. “And I told you Y/n, I always get what I want.”

Y/n chuckled, remembering their first meeting and the way Evie had exuded confidence even then. “And what do you want, Evie?”

Evie’s gaze softened, her thumb gently brushing over Y/n’s knuckles. “My very own princess charming” she said simply, her voice filled with sincerity. “I want you, Y/n. And I’m going to make sure you never forget how much you mean to me.”

Y/n’s breath hitched at the words, a smile tugging at her lips. “You’ve already done that,” she whispered, leaning in to close the distance between them. Their lips met in a kiss that was slow and tender, filled with all the emotions they’d been carrying.

As the night went on, they talked, laughed, and shared stories under the stars, wrapped up in each other and the magic of the moment. It was the beginning of something beautiful, something neither of them had expected but both were eager to explore.

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couldawouldashoulda50 · 4 months ago

Note

Do you think that at some point Loren would come across with William some of her old classmates or ex or ex-friends? People that were not the nicest to her and hurt her while they are out or something. They act all nice and sweet because of William. Nothing dramatic, but her old memories come back and she gets uncomfortable. William then comforts her.

A more precise way would be with Loren ex who basically screwed her over. They are at a restaurant or an event. William meets him briefly without Loren or himself knowing who he is. Her ex says he’s a fan or whatever. Then, Loren comes back from like the washroom or wherever she was and they are just the two together. And finally, they both see her ex together and it’s awkward and weird (obviously I don’t think anything drastic like a fight would happen because it’s out of character)

A/N - Well sweet Anon, I thought I was doing well at the 3k word mark. Then the 7k word mark happened....I had no idea this would turn out to be 11k words. Apologizing is definitely in my nature so I will start there - I tied another idea into the beginning of this and I just went with it never intending for it to be this long. There's a lot of layers here but it all leads to Loren's past seeping into her present through a group of (so-called) friends reaching out to her.

Trigger Warnings: **This recounts Loren's experience with her ex, who, by definition, is an emotional abuser. I have never written about this before and tried to keep it as a very high-level account of it**

18+ only. Contains profanity, smut (oral [fem receiving], intercourse [p in v])

Word count - approx 12k words (sorry again lol)

Loren was positioned comfortably on her side of the bed, her oversized socks half falling down her calves and her cropped cardigan slipping slightly off her shoulder. She had her laptop resting in her lap, her focus drifting between resizing an image and fiddling with the resolution. On the other side of the bed, William lounged on his back, his head on a pillow at the end of the bed and his feet near the headboard. His phone was in his hand, he appeared to be watching something but in reality his attention was entirely elsewhere.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her tonight—or really any time that she was near him. The screen of her laptop illuminating her face, reflecting off of her glasses made him beam from the inside out. It was clear to him that the more time they spent together, the longer he wanted her to stay with him.

On some level, from all the way back to the first time he kissed her—that moment now many months ago—he couldn’t imagine anyone else fitting so naturally in his space. Scratch that. Wouldn’t want to imagine anyone else. When they had to leave each other, it always impacted him more than he ever let on. He was head over heels for Loren, and he felt confident that she shared the same feelings for him. Their random introduction at an Easter Seals Skate truly became a rare gift of a deeply caring union between two people.

With all of these feelings, however, he knew there were things they needed to discuss before the future which he deeply desired with her could happen.

Loren could feel William’s lingering gaze from across the bed. She had only glanced at him for a split second, her eyes once again fixed on the laptop screen. “How ya’ doing over there? You’ve been quiet,” Loren asked gently.

William smiled, caught in the act. “Just thinking.”

Loren let out a soft laugh with a mock grimace. “Uh-oh.”

He chuckled but didn’t respond immediately, his eyes returned to his phone. Loren had appeared on a mid-day talk show in Toronto, modeling a local designer’s winter fashion line that was mix-and-match and budget-friendly. William re-watched the clip that was posted by the network.

“Were they nice to you—the women on the show?” he asked, holding up the screen of his phone showing her the clip.

She flipped her glasses up onto her head, pinning her long wavy hair behind her ears. She squinted at the screen, her lips curving into a small smile. “They were—everyone was very nice. I was nervous but then I realized it was just the same as trying on clothes in Chelsea’s closet.”

“Or mine—err, wait…no - that’d be more like a strip tease,” he said simply, and when she blushed and ducked her head shyly, his smile widened. He set his phone aside, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before changing his position on the bed. He laid next to her on his side with his pillow bunched under his head. “Can I ask you something?”

Her fingers paused on her keyboard. “Of course,” she replied, looking very attentive.

“Who do you talk to about us?”

The question caught her a little off guard. Loren paused for a moment, closing her laptop halfway. “Uh, well, Alice, for sure….a couple of other WAGs?. We actually don’t talk about you all that much—I guess I don’t feel the need to. And Kathy, she’s sort of my life guru—she has been for years. I think she’s the only one that I told about meeting you to begin with. I trust her—and she’s pretty much like a vault.” She tilted her head, studying him.

“What about your parents? Or your other friends?” he asked.

Loren hesitated. “I haven’t told my parents anything. It’s not that I don’t want to, or that I don’t trust them, but… it doesn’t feel like the right time yet. They’re enjoying their first winter as snowbirds, and I don’t want them worrying about anything that I’m doing up here.” She closed the laptop and sat it next to the empty glass of wine on the nightstand. “My friends - I have a lot of different friend groups, but everyone’s busy with their own lives—and even still, short answer? I wouldn’t be comfortable mentioning that we’re seeing each other.”

William nodded slowly. “So it doesn’t bother you that we don’t do, like, the Insta thing posting pictures of us being together or anything like that?”

Loren shook her head slowly and mouthed the word “No.” Despite the silence behind the word, he understood loud and clear how much she meant it. “I guess… I just don’t want it out there. I’m really cagey about opening up my personal life up online - who I'm seeing romantically…especially you.” Loren shifted to lay on her side facing William. “Is that okay?”

He pulled her into him, kissing her mouth and guiding her thigh over his. His blue eyes bore deep into her now racing heart at the vision that was his face.

His eyes remained connected with hers, his brows furrowing slightly. “Oh, yeah - no….I’m totally okay with that….it’s sorta my preference too.” William paused, his mouth hovering over hers, his sweet breath warm against her lips before continuing. “So, I was just watching this reel and I guess I wanted to know how you’d feel about a situation… as I kind of want to assume we’ll, uh… be together for a long time.”

Loren blushed at the thought. She tried to not react but a small smile curled at her lips.

Although his expression seemed calm, William’s stomach flipped with where the conversation was heading. “Prenups,” he said, watching her closely. “How do you feel about them?”

Loren was not expecting that one. A million thoughts bounced in her head, mainly wondering why he was asking, but she slowed her mind and decided just to answer the question directly. “If little ‘ole me, with my once shiny credit rating and trusting nature, could get fucked over so badly with my finances, then you, with your… what, a hundred million dollars? Even if it’s not me you are with in the end, you better make sure your future wife signs one… I’ll hunt you down and straight-up kick your ass if you don’t.”

Her bluntness mixed with his own nervous energy made him burst out laughing.

Loren grinned at him as she continued. “Seriously, though,” she added, “I hope you wouldn’t treat a prenup like a license to do whatever you want, but yeah, I’d absolutely sign one. Would you sign one for me if the tables were turned? I might be mega-rich all on my own one day.”

William nodded—first that he believed she could do anything she put her mind to, and second, he really would sign one.

“That’s actually where the question came from. I was watching something—like, the guy… he had money and assets, and he explained to his fiancée that he wanted her to sign one. She flipped out but then she inherited some money later. Then she turned the tables on him and demanded he sign one,” William explained. “I mean, I was just curious what you thought about it… not that I was worried about something like that with you anyway.”

Loren ran the back of her fingers along his jawline. “Well, obvious double standard going on with those two. But, personally, I have had too much experience in that department, William - it can get to be pretty fucking terrible. Whether it’s me, or the people that I care about, if you end a relationship—especially you—you need to have something in place, something that’s fair and just for both parties. It’s not that you want the relationship to end, or think that it will…” her voice trailed off.

William hesitated, his hand slipping under the waistband of her shorts, his palm resting warmly on her ass cheek. He wasn’t entirely sure why the thought had popped into his mind, but once it was there, he couldn’t shake it.

“So… here’s a question,” he started, carefully “We’ve been together now for a bit—like, really together this time. You’ve seen more of what my life is like, how crazy it can get. Is there any part of you…” He trailed off for a moment, leaning his forehead against hers for a moment. “Any part of you that doesn’t want this? That doesn’t want to do this life with me?”

The question hung in the air. Loren’s breath caught, and to her surprise, her throat tightened. She shook her head quickly, trying to blink away the tears that suddenly threatened, but it was no use. The sadness with that simple question overwhelmed her.

“Hey, hey,” William said, alarmed. He moved closer, cupping her face gently. “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I just…”

She laughed at herself through the tears, shaking her head. “You didn’t do anything. It’s just…” She dabbed under her eye with the back of her thumb. “The idea of it just hit me the wrong way,” she sniffed, scoffing at herself in embarrassment.

His heart clenched. He helped wiped at her tears with his thumbs, but his attempts to comfort her only made the tears fall faster, though now she was mostly laughing as well. “You have to stop,” she managed between sniffling and giggling. “You’re making it worse.”

William’s chest ached with love for her. He pulled her closer and held her tightly as her tears subsided. “Sorry William - that just caught me the wrong way… but I can’t help the tears sometimes, it’s just how it is with me.”

“You weren’t lying when you called yourself a puddle, eh?” William teased.

Loren’s words were muffled against his neck. “Lille lustigkurre,” calling him a “little goof” in Swedish. William playfully planted tiny kisses across her lips. He loved how seriously she was taking to learning Swedish, coming out with phrases he never taught her.

Loren’s tone turned apologetic. “But yeah, I wish I could control the tears more - used to drive my ex nuts… he’d go ballistic, as though berating me was going to help me stop crying.”

William’s body tightened, as he visualized Loren being screamed at while already being upset. His jaw clenched when he pictured dropping her ex with one punch to the mouth if he ever witnessed such a thing.

William pulled Loren’s body on top of him, her letting a light “whoop” followed by a giggle. He cradled her ass cheeks as she straddled him, propping herself up on her arms. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry she went through all of that but he also knew her response.

Thank you - but it’s done with now, she would say.

Instead, he would settle for making her know how much he desired and loved her. He pulled her mouth onto his, and in turn, she began to rub herself against his hardness.

“I guess I’m done my work?” she asked, cheekily.

He gripped her ass more firmly, pressing her against him.

In one swift movement, she sat up in a full straddle as he quickly unbuttoned her cardigan while she reached around and unclasped her bra. The moment his mouth and tongue made contact with her nipples, her core clenched in anticipation of feeling him deep inside her.

As if it needed to be said, Loren finally gasped, “Yeah, okay…. fuck it, I’m done.” A mischievous smirk played on her lips as she brought her mouth onto his, slipping her tongue against his in a steamy kiss. In Swedish, she teased, “Åh, du är verkligen i trubbel nu...” (Oh, you’re really in trouble now...)”

—

A few days later, Loren found herself in the kitchen at William’s place, the whir of the blender filling the air as she prepared smoothies and other healthy concoctions for both William and Alex. It was a routine she had adopted during her visits, one that Alex especially appreciated. Lost in thought, her eyes were fixed on the ingredients laid out on the counter—a mix of fresh fruits, leafy greens, protein powders, and supplements—she continued to smile to herself as she pressed the stop button on the appliance.

The morning had started the way she secretly (or not so secretly (despite clasping her hand over her mouth, her orgasmic moans were surely heard outside of the bedroom) loved most. She and William had indulged in a passionate quickie before getting out of bed to take the dogs for a walk. Standing at the counter now, her thoughts drifted back to the earlier moments, her lip catching between her teeth and cheeks flushing pink. The blissful soreness lasting in her core was a reminder of just how incredible it had been.

She shook her head, lifting herself from her own trance, and let out a soft laugh. Oh my god, I still want more she thought, her body still hungry for William. She inhaled deeply to try and calm her lingering urges as she reached for the jar of chia seeds.

A notification buzzed on her phone, pulling her attention away from the blender. Picking it up, she saw a DM on Instagram from someone she hadn’t thought about in a long time—a so-called friend from a group of women she used to spend time with when she was with her ex, Drew. The message was short, polite, and complimentary, but Loren immediately felt a knot form in her stomach.

Despite outward appearances, she had never felt particularly close to any of the women in that group. During her relationship with Drew, little by little, she had been steered away from spending time with her other friends, finding herself surrounded by people she couldn’t fully trust. Loren had always felt like an outsider, unable to fully be herself. Every group activity she attended left her retreating further into her shell as time went on.

The unwelcome memory of those years crept into her mind. She had spent so much time trying to be everything Drew wanted her to be, only for him to make her feel like it was never enough. The stress of that relationship had taken a toll on her physical and mental health. Food became a source of comfort in the lonely hours spent working all day, coming home, cleaning, and preparing nice dinners that Drew would often miss. When he finally came home, it was only to pick fights, leaving her feeling even smaller than before. The weight gain that ensued only fueled her feelings of low self-worth, to which Drew’s backhanded remarks also exacerbated.

Loren exhaled sharply, setting her phone down and shaking off the memories. Just as Alex walked into the kitchen, greeting her with a soft, “God morgon,” Loren muttered, “Fuck off,” under her breath, directing the words at the source of the DM she’d just received. She hadn’t heard Alex walk in and jumped slightly, startled when he responded, “Um… okay?”

[Loren practicing Swedish] “Oh—God, Alex… I am so sorry. God morgon—that other part wasn’t meant for you,” she smiled apologetically.

“Who’s in your bad books this morning? It can’t be my brother…” Alex teased.

Loren didn’t know if there was a whiff of ‘I heard far more than I wanted to this morning’ in Alex’s remark, but her soft smile remained constant as she handed him the vibrant mixture in a glass container.

“No, just a message from someone I haven’t heard from in years, and I have no real desire to interact with them,” Loren replied, her tone carrying a hint of tension.

“Oh yeah? Who’s that?” Alex inquired, gulping down some of his smoothie.

“A girl—a woman I used to hang out with years ago,” Loren began. “She said she saw me on that talk show and is gushing about how she’d love to meet up sometime. It sounds nice and all, but unless she’s done a total 180, I’m leery about getting together with her and the other women in the group.” Her apprehension was unmistakable as she spoke.

Loren would never dream of saying it to Alex, but Kayla, the so-called “friend” who had reached out, reminded her of Isla—Alex’s now ex-girlfriend—the day they first met. Snide, smug, and toxic were fair adjectives to describe parts of Kayla’s personality.

Alex, seeming rather invested in the story, stood at the counter as he prompted Loren to keep talking. William soon breezed into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around Loren’s waist from behind, unintentionally interrupting Loren as he thanked her for his smoothie.

“Bro—she was talking,” Alex jokingly scolded William. “Here I was thinking there wasn’t anyone Loren disliked, but now I wanna hear this.”

“Who—wait… what’re we talking about?” William asked, confused.

Loren quickly replayed the conversation so he could catch up. He looked intrigued, as much as Alex seemed to be—this was a part of Loren’s life he had heard the least about, and he was about to find out why.

“So the deal with Kayla is that she sort of befriended me at a time when I was feeling pretty low in life - and in my relationship with Drew,” Loren began. “I was too embarrassed to admit to my closest friends and even my family of how bad things had gotten, so I leaned on her more than I should’ve. She pretended to care, but all the while, she was gossiping about me to everyone else in the group.”

Her eyes flicked between the two brothers as they listened. “Eventually, I realized that the things I told Kayla were then skewed and taken totally out of context, which would then get back to Drew through his friends. It was constant fighting and confrontations but then he’d back peddle and I’d fall into the same trap again. I think back and I don’t even remember the things he said that seemed to make everything okay. It was almost like being brainwashed.”

Loren sighed, hesitating for a moment before continuing. “So I was in a position that I had to move out of my apartment and Drew kept pushing for us to buy a house. It was one of the things I had wanted so badly but I could never afford it on my own. He had this whole song and dance about a big settlement he was waiting on from a past accident. It sounded believable—he even showed me paperwork. It started with him asking me to help him until it came through, and I did. I alone was approved for loans, opened lines of credit - he couldn’t do it because of his credit rating. I was so naive allowing him access. Then my dad cosigned for the house with me that had a cashback mortgage, and the money went into a joint access savings account. When he disappeared, I found out he’d drained everything with my name on it.”

William’s jaw tightened, his hands gripping the counter. This part, William already knew and it made his blood boil all over again.

Loren continued. “He had this whole scheme perfected. He made it look like he was trying to contribute, but in reality, he was still using resources from the last woman he conned. By the time he left, I had nothing but the house and a landslide of debt. That’s when I had to tell my parents. It was humiliating, but we figured out a plan to climb out of the hole he left me in.”

She took a breath, her voice softening. “Looking back, I should’ve seen it sooner, but I was so focused on trying to make things work. I kept convincing myself it was just a rough patch, that things would get better if I stuck it out. Thank God he left - but by the time he was through with me, with all the criticism and manipulation, I felt like I was just this shell of a person.”

She hesitated before continuing. “To make matters worse, there was another woman—Ashley—who I thought was a real friend. She didn’t seem to go along with the others, so I trusted her. I didn’t realize until it was too late that Drew and Ashley were secretly involved with each other. I walked in on them at a party—fucking in the bathroom.”

The kitchen was quiet enough to hear the white noise of the refrigerator humming. William sat frozen, a bottle of water halfway to his lips. He was seeing red listening to all of this, the bulging vein in his neck on full display.

Alex let out a low whistle, breaking the silence. “Well, holy fuck,” he said, shaking his head. “No wonder you’re not rushing to meet up with them - fucking soap opera.”

Loren chuckled and nodded. “Aren’t you glad you asked?” she nudged Alex playfully. Her eyes then settled on William’s face, his expression showing shades of disbelief of Loren’s story.

She eased up beside William as she began to gather her things to leave for an appointment. As usual, he wore nothing but his shorts and his slides, and Loren was quick to press her lips against the bare skin of his shoulder.

“So, on that happy note,” she quietly joked, “I better head out.”

Instead of his hold loosening, William pulled her body closer against him. “You’re coming back later, right? Before dinner, hopefully?”

She had been at William’s for the most part of the week and had intended on going home. But god, one look at his face….

She kissed where a trace of his smoothie lingered at the corner of his upper lip, then worked her way onto his full mouth. Mumbling against his lips, she said, “I’ll see you later. Let me know if anything changes for tonight, and I can go home.”

Alex, overhearing her last words, groaned and shook his head. “Please don’t. I can’t stand him looking so sulky and—” He rubbed his eyes and let out a mock whimper, chuckling as he glanced at his brother. As he padded off toward his bedroom, he called over his shoulder in Swedish, “Vi ses ikväll, Loren… ha en bra dag.” (See ya’ tonight, Loren… have a good day.) Glancing at William, he scoffed softly, chuckling as he disappeared down the hall.

“Sån åsna,” (such an ass) William muttered, shaking his head. His hand smoothed over Loren’s ass cheek as they started toward the door. “Anything you want tonight for dinner?”

“Food—and you… not necessarily in that order,” she replied suggestively, leaning in to give him one more lingering kiss for the road.

—

When Loren returned that evening, she got her wish—food and William, in no specific order—and the rare luxury of having the condo to themselves for the night (plus the dogs, of course). She glanced around the space, taking in his thoughtful touches: dimmed lights, candles flickering throughout, and the unmistakable tracks from one of William’s favorite playlists—entitled with their joint initials, “WNLG.” The slow, mellow songs had become their unofficial soundtrack, always leading to them being wrapped around each other before the second song was through.

After a coming-home kiss that made Loren melt, she slipped off her shoes and took in the warm ambiance William had created. He had wanted to do something for her after she’d shared the dysfunction from her past relationship. The gestures weren’t groundbreaking, nor were they born from pity or meant to erase her painful memories. They were simply a way to set the tone for their future together. And knowing Loren, candles, dinner, and him were all she needed to feel completely fulfilled.

He noticed the glossy white shopping bag dangling in her hand, his curiosity piqued. Hooking his finger into the top of the bag, he peeked inside, while his other arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer. “Chocolate-dipped strawberries,” he said softly, with a smirk.

Loren brushed her lips against the warmth of his cheek. “I saw these, and they reminded me of Paris… and you.” Her lips traveled to William’s mouth, her words soft and full of meaning. The kiss deepened quickly, and the low groan that escaped him which made Loren press her thighs together.

Breaking slightly from the kiss, she smiled. “Let me get these into the fridge… I’ll be right back.”

As she walked down the hallway to the kitchen, her heart swelled with adoration. She shook her head and smiled to herself, still reeling from his intimate greeting. She honestly felt like she could float away with the way he made her feel.

When Loren returned to the living room, William was lounging on the couch, waiting for her. She knew William had a thoughtful and romantic side—it had shone through during their two weeks together in Sweden towards the end of the summer. But since the season had started, it wasn’t that his desire for romance had diminished… there just weren’t as many chances to be alone.

With the candles, the waiting dinner, the playful and often racy messages he’d sent her throughout the day, and the smoldering welcome she’d received tonight, it was clear William had seized this opportunity to have her to himself—and he’d nailed it.

Loren approached him and immediately saw the unmistakable glint of mischief mixed with lust in his eyes. He sat in his usual tank top, legs splayed in his black sweat pants and to Loren, there was no man on the planet that was as effortlessly sexy as William.

His eyes scanned her body and he had no qualms in letting her know how visually stunning he found her. “Is that what you looked like all day?” he asked playfully, reaching out for her hands and guiding her on top of him, straddling his hips.

She smiled at him and raised an eyebrow, and gently nodded. She was uncertain of exactly what he meant by his question, but knew it would lead to something that would make her heart, and other areas in her body, throb with wanting.

William’s palms slid upwards along the fabric of her white, buttoned down shirt, eventually smoothing over her breasts. He could hardly wait to see what bra she wore which contained her voluptuous tits as she started to unbutton her shirt. The worked together to shed her shirt and he groaned as he looked at the pristine white lace cups that supported her cleavage, right directly in his line of sight.

“I know I always say this but fuck - you’re fucking stunning” his voice raspy as he massaged her breasts and slowly kissed her neck.

Loren’s fingers raked through his hair, starting at the base of his neck and working upward, her patented move that never failed to arouse him further. Slowly, she rocked back and forth on his lap, her slow movement deliciously teasing. Her voice was soft, airy, and laced with a sensual undertone.

“And I always think, ‘So are you.’” She leaned in closer, her lips brushing against his ear as she whispered, “You’re seriously the most gorgeous man imaginable.”

With that, and in one fluid motion, he lifted her, guiding her onto her back on the couch as he knelt between her legs. His hands moved efficiently, unbuttoning her slacks and sliding them past her hips, down her legs, and off entirely. He paused for a moment, taking her in, reveling in the sight of her—this vision he had craved all day.

The stark white of her thong against her olive skin nearly sent William over the edge. He’d been picturing them in bed, sheets strewn everywhere for most of the night, but now, with the condo blissfully empty, every spot on the couch was fair game.

Without hesitation, William shed his sweats and shorts in one fluid motion. His arousal was evident, and Loren’s gaze drifted downward, she felt an instant urge to take him into her mouth. Before she could act however, William had other plans already in motion.

Gently, he propped Loren’s back against the cushioned arm of the couch, guiding her legs open as his hands skimmed down her thighs. He paused for a moment, his eyes locking onto hers. He had thought about her all day, resisting the urge to manually relieve the pressure she ignited in him countless times. Now, he could worship her - he was determined to make her feel every iota of his desire for her that had been building.

Wetting his lips, he lowered himself between her legs, his gorgeous gaze fixed on hers gripped her soul. His saliva dampened the small strip of fabric that was the only barrier between his mouth and her clit. The tip of his tongue soon slid beneath the band of her thong, and he began teasing her entrance with steady and firm movement.

Her hands instinctively flew to his, grasping at him for support. The thin gold band he had given her recently graced her delicate thumb, reflecting the low lighting in his periphery. The sight only spurred him on - little by little, he looked forward to adorning her body with his deep admiration for her in every way imaginable.

Loren’s hips flexed purely from instinct, rocking back and forth against the sensation of William’s mouth as he lapped and gently sucked around her clit. He was so incredible with his mouth, it was as if his on-ice prowess translated seamlessly to the art of making a woman writhe with pleasure. He knew exactly how to guide his lips and tongue to find every spot that made her body tighten and shudder in response.

She always tried to keep her volume low, her breathy moans whispering his name just loud enough to stir his own desire. But he could tell when she was losing control—the way her hands clung to his hair, her thighs trembling against his shoulders. He would risk a noise complaint just to hear her let go completely, crying out as loudly as she needed.

Loren’s grip under her one knee, holding her legs open for him indented her skin, the beds of her fingernails were white. “Fuck William” constantly spilled out of her in the form of the hottest sounding moans. Her hair was a beautiful mess - half bunched against the pillow and half dangling off the side of the couch as her head leaned back from the unbridled ecstasy he kept pushing her towards.

He could have spent hours between Loren’s legs but he knew that, as much as she loved his mouth, she loved his cock. He had begun teasing her about the way she treats Cowboy Bill, the name she dubbed his cock months ago, and how he has become a whole other entity that she worships in the bedroom. Lingham massages were now in Loren’s rotation of her favourite things to do and William was not complaining.

William licked and kissed his way up her abdomen, stopping to suck on each of her taut nipples, now so sensitive that she gasped out his name as she tried to catch her breath. She slowly lifted her head, her pupils looked as black as night as her eyelids weighed heavily from so much stimulation between her thighs.

William kissed her so deeply with so much passion, she thought she might faint. She wrapped one arm behind his neck and the other around his shoulder as he lifted her slightly to lay her flat on the cushions and reposition himself, aligning his cock with her entrance.

His voice was low as he murmured against her lips. “Tell me what you want…what will make you cum…”

Loren’s eyes zeroed in on his. She didn’t speak right away, her chest still rising and falling rapidly.

She kissed him and lightly raked her fingernails down his chest and up his flank - she knew that drove him berserk in all the best ways. With mere millimeters from his lips, she answered breathlessly “Anything - I just want to feel like you can’t get enough of me.”

Done. Sold. Exactly what I had in mind - because I really can’t get enough he thought, as he kissed her fiercely.

The second he pushed inside her, Loren’s breath hitched, her body reacting instantly as her walls clenched tightly around him. William groaned low in his throat, his head lowering as he paused, the thick chain around his neck dangling between them as he steadied himself.

He began slowly, each thrust steady, but for Loren, the depth and force of his movements soon had her gasping. With every roll of his hips, he pushed deeper, her body reacting to him, their physical and emotional connection intensifying with each passing second.

Loren’s hands gripped tightly onto William’s ass, her nails digging into his skin as she urged him deeper. Every nerve in her body was electrified, the pressure in her core building to an almost unbearable intensity. It felt like one long, sustained orgasm—her body couldn’t get enough of him, yet it almost felt like it was on the edge of being too much.

Hooking the back of her knee over his forearm, he pinned her legs open wider, the other leg draped over the back of the couch. With her completely open to him, he drove into her with dizzying force, the sound of their bodies colliding echoing through the room. The couch cushions recoiled beneath her with every powerful thrust, subdued cries and moans of pleasure filling the space.

As he pushed deep into her and held himself there, Loren’s body reacted instinctively. Her hips rolled up to meet him, her hands gripping onto his hips and ass as she fucked him back. The sight of her body moving so desperately beneath him made William groan low in his throat - she was pure magic and he was completely blown away by her.

He spat onto her clit, his thumb immediately finding the incredibly sensitive spot he had discovered many passionate encounters ago. As he stroked her, his eyes were drawn to the way her abdomen muscles flexed and contracted with every movement. He could feel his balls tightening, the heat pooling low in his stomach, but he didn’t want to cum yet—not before her.

Her movements began to slow, her breaths coming in ragged gasps. William leaned down, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered, “You’re incredible. So fucking amazing. You feel so good, Loren.”

With that, he lifted her effortlessly, repositioning her once more. Her legs pinned wide apart, he thrust into her again, his pace unrelenting. The sound of their grunts, moans, and strained voices reverberated through the room, mixing with the creak of the couch beneath them.

Loren felt the familiar, unstoppable grip of her orgasm taking hold. Her body tightened, her hands clawing at the fabric of the couch cushion as her head turned, pressing against the armrest. “Oh my god, William!” she shrieked, her legs trying to close instinctively as high-voltage stimulation jolted through her.

William grunted and strained loudly, holding her legs open firmly as he continued driving into her. The sight of her quivering body, her hand over her mouth and the sound of her moans was his undoing. He thrusted deep into her one last time, his release spilling into her as he collapsed onto her.

They stayed there for a time, their bodies tangled together, his cock still buried inside her as he slowly stroked her from within. Loren’s breathing was uneven, her limbs slack as she melted into the cushions. He knew how dazed and dozy she got after moments like this, and he couldn’t stop the satisfied smirk from spreading across his face.

Eventually, he rolled onto his side, pulling her with him. They kissed lazily, their bodies glistening with a sheen of sweat from their exertion.

It took a while before they finally moved, sliding off the couch and adjusting the cushions back into place. Loren noticed a few marks left behind from their sexcapade and made a mental note to clean up the spots later. The couch was soon to be replaced as part of the condo renovations, so the evidence of their passion would only be temporary, one way or another.

Slipping her white shirt back on as a casual cover-up, Loren wandered into the kitchen, where William was pouring two glasses of wine and setting their take-out containers in the oven to warm. He handed her one of the glasses and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close as his lips found the curve of her neck.

“Hungry?” he murmured against her skin, his voice low and tender. Loren nodded, her hand smoothing over the back of his head as he leaned into her.

Before long, the two of them found themselves slow dancing in the kitchen, swaying gently to the music still streaming through the sound system.

After a quick shower together and a change into more comfortable clothes, William and Loren found themselves back in the kitchen. Loren, now dressed in one of William’s oversized hoodies and a pair of soft shorts, leaned against the counter, her hair still damp from the shower. William stood close by, barefoot in sweats and a simple tee, looking completely at ease as he slid the lids off their warmed take-out containers.

Without a second thought, they began eating directly out of the containers, passing them back and forth with teasing smiles and playful nudges. Loren couldn’t help but feel a warmth settle in her chest. To anyone else, it might have seemed unremarkable, but to her, standing there with him in their little bubble, this felt just as romantic as any candlelit dinner. Maybe more so.

Loren twirled a fettuccine noodle around her fork, pausing before bringing it to her mouth as a thought struck her. She set the fork down and looked up at William. “I really love this. I think I’d prefer this to any fancy dinner in the city. Everything about tonight has been so perfect… Tack min älskling.” She leaned in to kiss him gently, his arms wrapping securely around her.

William smiled against her lips before pulling back slightly. “I have to admit,” he began, hesitating as he searched for the right words, “the stuff you told us this morning—I’ve been thinking about it a lot today. Not in a bad way, but… how come I never knew about all that with your ex and those friends? Like… they’re seriously fucked up. I’m just a little surprised you’ve never mentioned it.”

Loren gazed at him, her smile soft and apologetic. “I never brought it up because, honestly, I don’t even think about it anymore. It’s like this blip in time that’s so insignificant now. It just… doesn’t matter enough to come up.”

William nodded slowly. “Yeah, okay… I get that.” He stabbed a rigatoni noodle onto his fork and offered it to her with a small smile. “But, uh… do you know if you’re going to meet up with what’s-her-face?”

Loren leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms loosely as she met his gaze. “I’m not sure. I don’t really see a reason to. Life’s been just fine without them. Honestly, I’m relieved they did me a massive favor by ending the whole faux-friendship thing we had going.” She reached for the wine bottle and poured the last of it into their glasses. “Do you think I should?”

William shrugged, his expression thoughtful. “Well… I mean, you owe them fuck all. But it might be interesting for them to see just how great you’re doing.”

Loren took a slow sip of her wine, considering his words. “I know you’re not saying I need their attention or validation, but… honestly? I couldn’t care less about that. On the other hand, if I go, I could see if anything’s really changed with Kayla or anyone else. If not, yeah, I might waste a couple of hours, but at least I’ll know where things stand.”

William tilted his head, his voice softening. “How about this—if you do meet them, don’t go to them. Have them come here. I’ll help you pick a nice spot. You meet up, and if you do it when I’m home, I’ll be there.”

Loren’s brows furrowed slightly, her expression caught between confusion and misgiving. “But—”

William shook his head, already anticipating her protest. “No buts. I’ll grab a spot—a table. I’ll bring some buddies, hang out nearby. You won’t even have to look at me if you don’t want to, but I’ll be close by. Just in case.”

Loren thought about it for a moment, her heart swelling at his thoughtfulness. Finally, she smiled. “I’ll think about it. And I guess if I get to glance at you once in a while… the night wouldn’t be a total waste.” She winked, clinking her glass gently against his.

The evening of Loren’s meetup with Kayla, Avrie, and Livia arrived in a flash after she had made arrangements the week prior. Following William’s suggestions, Loren requested the women make the 45-minute trek into the city, explaining she was swamped with meetings downtown. The highly-rated lounge William helped her choose, located on Queen Street West, was the perfect mix of cozy and eclectic—a beautiful spot for cocktails without feeling too pretentious.

Loren emerged from the bedroom into the kitchen, dressed in the outfit she’d carefully selected for the night. To her, it was simple—just a black turtleneck and pencil skirt paired with knee-high heeled boots. But to William, she was art in motion. With her hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail and makeup applied flawlessly, she radiated effortless sophistication. A slow, wide grin spread across his face as he watched her move across the room.

“You look… wow,” he said, his voice warm and genuine.

Loren smiled softly, smoothing her skirt. “It’s just a turtleneck and a skirt.”

William chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s not ‘just’ and not when it’s on a body like yours.”

The plan for the evening was straightforward enough. Alex and William, along with a few of William’s friends, would head to the same lounge about 30 minutes after Loren’s reservation time at 7:00. William had arranged for them to have a table nearby—close enough to keep an eye on things, but far enough to not be a distraction. The lounge staff, who were familiar with William from his years in Toronto, had no trouble accommodating their specific seating requests.

William’s primary goal was to be there for moral support without intruding, even if their carefully orchestrated plan made it feel like something out of a spy movie. Protecting their relationship in such a public space required a bit of strategy, but it was worth it.

There was also an element of playful mischief to William’s plan. If the women weren’t hockey fans, his presence might go unnoticed—but if they were, a well-timed bottle of champagne sent to their table by the Nylander brothers would surely make an impression. And if the moment called for it, William had no problem walking up, introducing himself, and appearing utterly captivated by Loren.

“Don’t stress about it too much,” William said as Loren checked her phone for updates. “It’s just a couple of hours, and by 9:00, we’ll be almost home, in bed by 10, and very satisfied by 11.” His smirk was down-right devilish as he leaned against the counter.

Loren cocked an eyebrow. “Or we can just cancel the potential shit-show and get started early,” she grinned. “Seriously though - William… thank you for sort of holding my hand through this part.” Loren walked up to him with a little seductive sway. “Can I eye fuck you a little from across the room?”

William chuckled. “Yeah - I think I’d be upset if you didn't.”

—

Midway through the second round of drinks—for everyone but Loren—Livia wrapped up her long-winded story about the drama swirling around her life over the past few years. Loren nursed her drink, smiling politely as she listened, all the while feeling a sense of detachment. Same group, same dynamics, same chaos. She realized that not much had changed for them since she left that part of her life behind.

Every now and then, Loren’s eyes flicked over to William. He was seated at a table across the lounge, laughing at something Alex had said. She caught him glancing her way more than once, his lips curling into a small, reassuring smile that calmed her nerves. Meanwhile, Alex was keeping her entertained with a steady stream of messages, most of which were filled with playful commentary about her companions.

Alex: Which one’s Kayla? The brunette with the long straight hair?

Loren: really Alex…jesus. **

Alex: What - is she up for a little action. Want me to bring her back with us tonight?

Loren: I will fucking start adding estrogen to your smoothies if you do.

She bit back a laugh, setting her phone aside as Kayla turned her attention to her. “So, Loren,” she began, leaning forward in her seat. “What’s your deal these days? Are you seeing anyone?”

“And where are you staying in the city?” Livia chimed in. “It must be nice to be downtown so much.”

“Also,” Avrie added, giving Loren an exaggerated once-over, “you have to tell us how you look like this now. You’re glowing.”

Loren smiled, holding her glass delicately in one hand. Her answers were vague but polite, carefully crafted to satisfy their curiosity without giving them a single piece of meaningful information.

She was amazed at how easily she could wordsmith her way through their questions, a skill she hadn’t fully appreciated until now. These women weren’t interested in her happiness or growth—they wanted gossip, diet hacks, and anything surface-level that could fuel their next group chat.

Loren’s tolerance was wearing thin. When Kayla called over the server for one more round, Loren decided to ask what their plan was for getting home. “Are you guys staying downtown tonight?” she inquired casually.

Kayla and Livia exchanged an awkward glance before Avrie offered a sheepish smile. “Uh, so… Ashley is our ride. She, um, kind of found out about the plan to meet up with you and asked to come tonight.”

Loren’s stomach flipped, though her expression didn’t falter. “Really…where is she?” she asked, her tone perfectly even.

Kayla nodded, looking mildly uncomfortable. “She said she might not come in and would just wait in the car. We made her the DD.”

The last time Loren had laid eyes on Ashley was the fateful night that she walked in on Drew railing her against a bathroom counter. She was so fragile then and she remembered it completely shattering what was left of her.

Loren sipped her drink to steady herself, forcing her hands to remain still. So much for mending fences, she thought bitterly. They didn’t come here to reconnect—they came to pry, to gossip. The realization made her feel foolish for even agreeing to this meeting.

Glancing at her phone, she noted the time. 7:56 p.m. She decided right then and there: come hell or high water, she was out of there no later than 9:00.

As Kayla launched into yet another anecdote, Loren subtly tapped out a quick message to William.

Loren: I think you’re having way more fun than I am lol

William: Probably. Keep up the eye fucking tho. I like it.

She hid her grin at the response. She resolved to stick it out just a little longer—not for them, but for herself. Just to be 100% certain with knowing they were still the same as they always were, and that she had long rid herself of the petty and toxic dynamics that once surrounded her.

After Avrie wrapped up her own synopsis of what’s wrong with everyone else in the world, Loren suddenly sensed the energy shift in the room, like an uncomfortable presence. When she finally turned, there was Ashley—approaching the table tentatively, shoulders rounded and head slightly bowed. It was a stark contrast to the Ashley Loren remembered, the one who used to stride into rooms like she owned them, commanding attention with her confidence and beguiling smile.

Now, Ashley looked… tired. Her eyes were shadowed, her posture meek. Loren’s skin bristled, tension gripping her muscles, but she forced herself to sit still. I can do this. Leaving in less than an hour - I’ve already made it this far.

Ashley greeted the table with a faint smile, her gaze flickering over Loren and lingering for just a moment longer than the others. “Hey Loren,” she said softly, visibly taken aback by Loren’s transformation.

Loren’s phone vibrated against the table, pulling her focus for a moment. The other women had been periodically scrolling their phones, so she didn’t feel bad about checking hers.

It was from William.

You good?

Another message popped up almost instantly from Alex:

Who dat?

Loren suppressed a smile and quickly replied, dat is Ashley 😬.

Glancing up, she caught William’s eyes from across the room. He gave her a subtle, questioning look, and she responded with a slight nod and a small smile. They exchanged a silent conversation with just their expressions—an unspoken reassurance that he was there if she needed him.

The conversation at the table flowed, at least on the surface. It was amicable enough, but Loren could feel the tension simmering beneath each exchange. Ashley didn’t say much, her words carefully chosen, as if she knew she wasn’t entirely welcome. Loren couldn’t decide if she felt pity for her or if her wariness outweighed everything else.

Then, as if on cue, a server approached the table, balancing a tray of champagne flutes filled with vibrant, sparkling concoctions. “Compliments of the gentlemen at that table,” he said, nodding toward William and Alex’s group.

Loren’s cheeks flushed as her gaze locked onto William’s once more. He was watching her, a small, knowing smile tugging at his lips. Her bashful grin spread across her face, and she bit her bottom lip to stifle a laugh.

“Wait, what?” Avrie blurted, spinning in her seat to look at the men. Recognition dawned on her face almost instantly. “Oh my god, that’s William Nylander.”

Kayla turned as well, her eyes widening as she made the connection. “And fuck, his brother’s there too… Jesus Christ.”

Avrie, the same one who had spent twenty minutes earlier gushing about her “amazing boyfriend,” leaned in conspiratorially. “Given the chance,” she said with a sly grin, “I’d easily make myself single for one night - even one hour - with him.” She nodded toward William. “I wouldn’t think twice and I sure wouldn’t feel guilty about it.”

Loren’s mouth dropped inside her mind at the thought, but she didn’t let it show. She sipped her drink, silently enjoying their reaction.

The women’s chatter about how they’d “take down” the Nylander brothers grew louder, making Loren’s cheeks flush even deeper. But just as the conversation was hitting a crescendo, William rose from his table. Her eyes followed him as he made his way toward them, his confident swagger impossible to miss.

Her breath caught slightly as he stopped at their table. His voice was warm and polite, but Loren could see the mischievous glint in his eyes. “Hope you’re all having a good night,” he said smoothly, nodding to the group. “And I hope you’re enjoying the drinks.”

The women looked stunned, their mouths slightly agape, but William’s gaze had already landed on Loren. He tilted his head slightly, his lips curving into a faint smile. “I feel like I know you from somewhere,” he said, his tone tinged with playful sheepishness.

Loren raised an eyebrow, playing along. “We met briefly in March,” she said lightly, “the Easter Seals Skate.”

Recognition seemed to dawn on his face as he snapped his fingers. “That’s it. I knew you looked familiar. It’s good to see you.”

The exchange between them felt electric, as if no one else existed in that moment. The women at the table sat frozen, watching the scene unfold like a live tennis match. Although on the surface, their exchange was just polite banter—but their attraction to one another was palpable and electric.

Loren couldn’t help the small, satisfied smile that crept onto her face as William excused himself, flashing her one last look before walking back to his table. She glanced at the women, who were still staring after him, their faces a mix of shock and envy.

Well, that went better than expected, Loren thought, hiding her smirk behind her champagne flute.

Loren felt the weight of their collective gaze as their eyes locked onto her, the questions starting immediately.

“So… you know William Nylander?”

“Have you two slept together? What’s he like??”

“Is he single?”

“Have you met anyone else on the team?”

Their voices overlapped in a barrage of curiosity and thinly veiled prying. Loren stayed calm, her expression neutral, silently groaning over how shallow these women sounded. They were fishing for gossip just to pass along, feeding their own sense if superiority.

Loren began to respond to the questions as she remembered each one. “Well, like I mentioned, I met him in March,” Loren said simply, her voice even because it was true.

“It would be such a dream to be with him…like that…he’s a little out of my league though I think.” Again, Loren felt this was the truth…these have been her thoughts many times.

“It’s hard to know what’s truth and rumour - but I feel his career is his prime focus.”

“I’ve met a bunch of the guys on the team, the same way I met William….through a charity event that I helped raise money for.”

Her answers were direct, concise, and left no room for further interpretation. She smiled politely but didn’t elaborate, making it clear she had no intention of feeding their curiosity. The women exchanged glances, clearly unsatisfied but unable to push further without looking desperate.

“Well, that’s boring,” Avrie muttered under her breath, earning a light laugh from Kayla.

Loren sipped her drink, unbothered. This was their game - and she couldn’t have cared less.

A lull in the conversation gave Loren her opportunity. “Excuse me,” she said, standing and smoothing her skirt. “I’m just going to the washroom.”

She walked away, feeling their eyes on her back. Once she was out of sight, Loren pulled out her phone to text William to tell him he was absolutely amazing and to thank him again for being there. Before she could type the message, she heard the faint sound of footsteps behind her. She turned to see Ashley walking toward her, her steps hesitant and tentative. Loren’s stomach twisted, but she didn’t say anything, opting to walk into the washroom instead.

Inside the stall, Loren’s phone buzzed, a text from William:

Did Ashley follow you in? Don’t like this. Pls call me if anything feels weird.

Loren exhaled deeply, her nerves suddenly on edge. She tapped out a quick reply: She’s coming in but it’s ok I think. I will call if I need you. Thank you my love.

The sound of the washroom door opening, followed by a stall door closing echoed in the room. Loren wasn’t sure whether to feel uneasy or just annoyed. The quiet stretched, punctuated only by the occasional sound of flushing water or ripping toilet paper.

Finally, as Loren stepped out to wash her hands, Ashley emerged as well. Their reflections met in the mirror, two very different women bound by a shared, messy history.

Ashley’s eyes floated to Loren’s reflection in the mirror, then quickly away, as though she couldn’t hold her gaze for long. Loren’s movements were slow and deliberate as she lathered her hands, pretending not to notice the tension radiating off the other woman.

“I wasn’t sure if I should even come tonight,” Ashley finally said, her voice soft, almost timid. “But I… I needed to.”

Loren’s hands stilled under the running water, but she didn’t look up. Instead, she grabbed a paper towel and dried her hands, giving Ashley space to continue.

“I wanted to tell you…” Ashley hesitated, her fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve. “I wanted to say how sorry I am. For everything. What I did to you… it still eats at me. You were the one of the most trustworthy - the most genuine person I’ve ever been friends with and I….well….I guess I don’t need to repeat what I did…,” Ashley’s trailed off.

Loren finally looked at her. Ashley’s shoulders were rounded, her once confident posture replaced with something that almost resembled shame. Her eyes, tired and brimming with tears, searched Loren’s face for any sign of forgiveness.

“I…” Loren started, then paused. She folded her arms across her chest, leaning slightly against the sink. “Ashley, I’m sorry this is something you still carry around…but it’s all in the past now - it’s been years. And yes, it was the hardest time in my life—and one of the lowest—but honestly, I’m beyond thankful for what happened.”

Ashley blinked, startled. “Thankful?”

Loren nodded. “It forced me to see people - to see everything as it truly was….Drew leaving, you ladies…well, I don’t want to drudge it all back up….but all of it, blessings in disguise.”

Ashley’s lips trembled as she bit down on them, nodding slowly. Loren could see the regret etched into her expression, and for the first time, she felt a sliver of sympathy..

Ashley exhaled a shaky breath. “I’m glad it worked out when he left you. Maybe the same will happen for me.”

Loren’s brows furrowed, confusion flashing across her face. “What do you mean?”

Ashley looked down at her hands, twisting her fingers. “Drew… after he left you, I stopped seeing him. He left for Alberta years ago but he came back and into my life about six months ago. I was so leery, but he seemed so different. Regretful. He charmed me, said all the right things, made me believe he’d changed. And for a while, I believed him.”

Loren’s stomach sank, her fingers tightening around the edge of the counter. “Ashley…”

Ashley’s voice wavered as she continued. “He hasn’t changed. If anything, he’s worse. Controlling, volatile… I can’t stand being at home with him. All I do is work just to avoid him, but even then…” Her voice broke, and she looked up at Loren, tears streaming down her cheeks. “But there’s something else. He’s been trying to figure out where your house is.”

Loren’s body tensed, her eyes widening. “What?”

Ashley nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. “He saw you on that talk show, and then your online videos… he said he wanted to try to remember where your house is - so he could come by just to apologize for everything - but the neighborhood looks completely different with all the new houses that were built. I think it something that’s been really bothering him.”

Dread washed over Loren as her mind raced. Drew’s agitation, his fixation—it made her stomach twist into knots, a feeling that was still far too familiar and Drew was always the source of it.

Ashley’s voice cracked as she added, “I want - I - I think I need to get away from him, but I don’t know how. I don’t even know where to start.”

Loren steadied herself, forcing the siren going off in her head to quiet. She met Ashley’s tearful gaze and spoke calmly but firmly. “Ashley. Think of it this way: you have two choices. Either you stay and let him drain you until there’s nothing left, or you make a plan and get out.”

Ashley sobbed quietly, nodding but looking utterly lost. “I don’t know how - my mind is a mess….like all the time.”

“Do you have someone close to you that you trust? Anyone who can take you in, even just for a while?”

Ashley hesitated, then nodded faintly. “Maybe…”

“Then start there,” Loren said, her tone unwavering. “Pack a bag when he’s not around. Make sure you have money in an account with a bank card that he doesn’t have access to. Depending on how he reacts - and if he does react badly - keep track of everything. At least start a file with the police if it escalates - make them aware of what’s happening.”

Ashley wiped at her tears, nodding again. Loren’s heart clenched, torn between wanting to help, the flash thought of giving Ashley shelter popped into her mind - but she corrected herself quickly - she had to keep her own boundaries intact.

As they left the washroom, Loren’s mind was buzzing with everything Ashley had shared. Her thoughts came to a screeching halt, however, when she looked up and saw William at the bar—talking to Drew.

Her blood ran cold. Ashley froze beside her, her face pale. Neither of them had expected this.

William’s smile disappeared the moment he saw Loren and Ashley reenter the room. The way she looked - her jaw clenched and her eyes scanning the bar - he knew something was up. He looked back at the man he’d been casually chatting with moments earlier. The man’s expression had turned dark and menacing. William gut instinct was that it was Drew sitting there. He felt the tension radiating off Loren even as she kept her composure as best as she could.

As the women moved closer to the bar, Ashley leaned in close to Loren, her voice trembling as she spoke under her breath, “He must’ve seen my messages. I—maybe he took my phone while I was asleep?”

Loren whispered a simple “it’s ok” as a response.

Instead of acknowledging Drew, Loren’s focus zeroed in on William. She offered him a polite smile and softly thanked him. “Thanks for the drinks. It was nice to see you again.” The undercurrent in her tone was clear—she wanted to leave.

William caught on immediately. Without a word, but with a smile to acknowledge Loren’s appreciation, he turned back to the manager and finished up their conversation. He thanked him for his help and made arrangements to cover both Loren’s table and his own. As William prepared to return to his table, he glanced at Drew, who lingered at the bar, pretending not to notice their exchange. “Have a good night,” William said tersely, his voice just loud enough, then muttered motherfucker under his breath as he walked away.

Drew, sensing the shift in the air, seemed to pick up on the silent watchfulness of the bartender and the manager. He remained at the bar, his earlier boastfulness noticeably absent.

Loren and Ashley returned to the table, where Kayla, Avrie, and Livia stared at them with mild shock on their faces. Loren, remaining composed, offered only a dry half-smile. “Well,” she said lightly, “I think that’s my cue to leave.”

The cattiness that usually was so prevalent in the group wasn’t there; even they couldn’t argue against Loren’s decision to leave. The server arrived with another round of drinks for the remaining three women and a virgin concoction for Ashley, announcing that the bill had already been taken care of. Loren reached for her coat, and while quickly slipping it on, she realized so happy and free she felt. She really had no ties to any of these women, or better yet, no ties to the narcissist of a man that was once in her life sitting at the bar ruminating about all the cunts in the world that cause him problems.

She pulled a small wad of cash from her purse and left it on the table. “A little extra for the server,” she said, knowing full well the others wouldn’t follow suit.

She wished the ladies well but before turning to leave, Loren put her hands on Ashley’s shoulders and leaned her head down. In the softest, most discreet tone, she said, “Take care of yourself. And if you have no other options… reach out. I’ll try to help.”

Ashley’s eyes filled with something that looked like a mixture of shame and gratitude. She nodded faintly, her lips trembling as she whispered, “Thank you.”

Loren didn’t spare another glance in Drew’s direction as she slipped through the lounge doors and out into the crisp night air. The crowd inside shifted easily to fill the space she left behind, and within moments, it was as though she was never there.

While Kayla was quick to start the proceedings and grill Ashley demanding to know what all was said in the washroom and at the bar, Avrie had a Swede on her mind. She swiveled in her seat, scanning the room for any lingering signs of the Nylanders. “Do you think they’re still here?” she asked, her neck craning to search the space.

The answer came quickly enough. Their table, once occupied by William, Alex, and their friends, was now empty. The servers were already clearing it for the next group of patrons. Whatever hopes Avrie had for an illicit encounter with William vanished as she turned back to her drink with a pout.

Meanwhile, Loren and William were in the backseat of his friend Mark’s SUV, with Alex sat in the front. As Mark drove toward the condo, Loren sat quietly holding William’s hand looking out the window at the exterior lights of the many bars and restaurants in the area. The chatter from Alex and Mark in the front brought her mind back, a mix of disbelief and adrenaline fueled their commentary about the events of the evening.

“That’s unbelievable that you were just standing there, chatting with some random guy,” Alex said, shaking his head. “And it turns out to be him - the douchebag.”

William’s grip on Loren’s hand tightened slightly, the tension in his shoulders beginning to become bothersome.

Mark chimed in with a low whistle. “That guy - sorry Loren - he’s a real piece of work, though. You could just see how much of a piece of shit he really was.”

Loren finally glanced over at William, her hand slipping onto his thigh. “Thank you,” she said softly, her voice filled with meaning.

William glanced at her briefly, his features softening. “You don’t have to thank me,” he murmured. “I just want to get you home.”

The rest of the drive passed in comfortable silence, the tension from earlier slowly dissipating. As Mark dropped them off, William’s hand found Loren’s waist as they walked in, giving it a reassuring squeeze. In that moment, she felt the weight of the evening begin to lift. They were all safely back in the warmth and comfort of the condo, with Pablo and Banksy anxiously waiting for their return.

Later that night, with the dogs softly snoring at the foot of the bed and the city quiet outside their windows, William and Loren lay tangled together under the covers. Loren rested her head on his chest, her fingers tracing patterns along his abdomen.

She’d just finished recounting her conversation with Ashley in the washroom, and William’s hand absently ran up and down her back as he listened. When she was done, he shook his head, letting out a low groan.

“I think you need to cut all ties,” he said bluntly, though the softness in his voice made it clear he wasn’t being critical. "And - fuck, I don't feel right about you being alone at your house. Even if that motherfucker can't remember which one his your house, that shit really bothers me. We'll look at getting one of those camera systems, okay?" William paused and then began to tease. "Jesus, I mean, I thought my friend group in Stockholm had its fair share of drama, but your ex-life? It takes the prize.”

Loren chuckled softly, her breath warm against his skin. “With Ashley, I would only help her if she had absolutely no other options, William. I’m not about to jump back into a situation that isn’t mine to fix.”

William tipped her chin up with his fingers, his lips brushing hers. “What is it you always say?” His voice was quiet, teasing. “Not my—?”

Loren smiled, kissing him lightly before finishing the sentence. “Not my sink, not my dishes.”

William laughed, his chest rumbling against her cheek. “I’ve only ever heard ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys.’”

Loren tilted her head, pretending to ponder this. “Oh right - that’s the better one,” she admitted before her lips twitched mischievously. “How about ‘Not my pig, not my farm’.”

William smirked, leaning down to kiss her again. “Ok….’Not my...’?” He paused, clearly stumped as his eyebrows furrowed. “Fuck - I got nothing.”

Loren further countered with “Not my cow, not my pasture.”

William let out a groan of mock defeat, rolling her onto her back and hovering over her. “Okay, well now you’re just showing off.”

“Maybe,” she teased, her hands sliding into his hair as he kissed her deeply. “Don’t you love it when I get all showy?”

“Showy….maybe,” his voice low and playful as his lips trailed down her neck. “You wanna show me something?”

Loren giggled, wrapping her arms around him. In that moment, the weight of the evening dissolved entirely, replaced by the laughter and warmth of a man that she was deeply in love with.

I hope you enjoyed this, Nonnie ❤️

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