[12:47] 💭 i think i should text my ex…
wc: 1.4k
warnings: ex bf!jaehyun x f!reader, nsfw (MDNI), car sex (why do i always end up here), unprotected sex, fingering, implied cheating (i do Not condone!!!!), breeding kink, use of pet names (baby, angel), teasing, light humiliation, light angst like blink and you’ll miss it type light
a/n: i’ve been so crazy over jaehyun recently anf this was the result…. silly hard hour to let u all know i want Him so BAD……. i listened to smoke and roses on repeat while writing this im NOT OKAY!!!!
“you know we shouldn’t be—fuck, jae,” you gasp, letting your head fall back against the seat. jaehyun’s lips trail along your neck, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses all over your skin.
“shouldn’t be what?” jaehyun mumbles between kisses, nipping at the corner of your jaw. “you’re the one that called me, desperate and whining for my attention,” he teases with a laugh.
“just—just don’t leave any marks,” you whine, proving his point further, and carding your fingers through his hair with a gentle tug. your pussy throbs as he pushes you further and further down into the seat, body pressing hotly against yours, and overwhelming your senses to the point where you can hardly think.
“a hickey will be the least of your problems once i’m done with you, baby,” jaehyun says, pulling away from your neck with one last kiss. he grinds his hips into yours, pressing his hard-on against your throbbing core. “what’s he gonna think when he sees you later, hm?”
small waves of guilt wash over your body from jaehyun’s words, settling deep inside your belly and threatening to make you think about him, your boyfriend who barely pays you any attention. he’s sweet, takes care of you when you need it, but his attention is always elsewhere.
on nights like these, where your boyfriend could care less about what you’re doing, you always find yourself craving jaehyun’s attention instead.
“it doesn’t matter what he thinks,” you whine again, wrapping your arms around his neck and forcing yourself to forget about him. besides, jaehyun’s ruined you for any other man, fucking you stupid with his cock until all you can think about is him, repeating his name like a mantra.
“yeah,” jaehyun breathes, easily agreeing. his hands grope at the skin of your thighs and tease dangerously along the top of your panties, making your breath hitch with anticipation. “i’ll fuck you so good you forget about that stupid boyfriend of yours,” he says with a smug grin, sitting up and pulling down your panties.
“please,” you beg, lifting your hips to help him, “need your cock so bad, jae.”
jaehyun shushes you, circling your clit with two gentle fingers. “i know, baby,” he coos, his eyes fixated on your pussy and watching as it glistens with how wet you are. “you missed my cock that badly?”
“missed it so much,” you moan, nodding your head and rolling your hips desperately into his hand, overwhelmed from the smallest bits of pleasure. jaehyun’s fingers dip between the folds of your pussy, trailing down to tease at your hole by just barely pushing the tips of his fingers in.
you whine at his teasing, frustrated and desperate for him to do something. “please, jaehyun,” you cry, hole fluttering around the tips of his fingers as your body begs to be filled.
“so fucking wet,” jaehyun mumbles, ignoring your pleas and pushing two fingers deep inside your pussy. “i could probably fuck you right now with how wet you are, baby. don’t even need my fingers to fit inside this tight little hole—fuck,” he groans, cock straining against the fabric of his jeans as he pumps his fingers in and out.
“jaehyun!” you gasp, his words making you burn hot with desire. his fingers curl deep inside you, causing you to throw your head back with a loud moan.
“just a little more,” jaehyun says, slipping in a third finger. “tell me how bad you want my cock and then maybe i’ll fuck you like you deserve,” he continues, dragging out his teasing and leaning down to nip at your jaw again.
“want your cock so bad, jae, please!” you beg, growing increasingly more frustrated because jaehyun’s too busy playing one of his stupid games to give you what you want.
part of you thinks that the push and pull between the two of you is why you were never bound to work. but, another part of you thinks that it’s exactly why you keep coming back, despite swearing that you’d never see his face again. jaehyun’s always been like an itch you can’t scratch, a craving you were never supposed to have.
he’s imprinted on you, wether you like it or not, and you’ll never find someone who makes you feel the way he does.
“i got you, pretty girl,” jaehyun mumbles into your jaw, biting once more before he pulls away, taking his fingers out and reaching down to palm his bulge. he works quickly to unzip his jeans and pull his boxers down, sighing when his cock springs free.
jaehyun’s big, always has been, and your pussy throbs as you imagine what it’ll feel like to finally have his cock inside you again, filling you up and stuffing you to the brim.
he spits into the palm of his hand before wrapping it around the base of his cock, slicking up his length with a quiet moan. jaehyun then grabs the tip of his cock and teases it along your hole before finally pushing in, bottoming out in just one thrust.
“oh fuuck,” you moan, long and drawn out as he fills you up, hole stretching around the thickness of his cock.
“missed this pussy so much,” jaehyun groans, slowly starting to move his hips and thrusting deep inside you. “such a perfect pussy, sucking me in like you were made for it,” he continues, hips snapping against yours in a desperate chase for pleasure.
“jaehyun!” you gasp, unable to think of anything else as he thrusts deeper and deeper inside you, thick cock dragging against your walls and fucking you so good that you can hardly speak. your pussy clenches tight around him, drawing another deep groan from his mouth.
“t-that’s it, baby,” jaehyun moans, tightly gripping your hips. “so fucking—so fucking good,” he pants out, picking up the pace and thrusting even faster than before.
you claw desperately at his back, unable to hold back your moans as jaehyun fucks into you, rocking the car with how powerful his thrusts are. he’s so deep inside you, fucking you so hard that you’re scared you’ll break.
“jae—jae, oh my god,” you cry, tugging him down so that his body presses hotly against yours. heat pools deep inside your belly as he continues to fuck you, pulling you down onto his cock with every thrust of his hips.
jaehyun tucks his head into the side of your neck, panting heavily against your skin and moaning as your walls wraps tightly around his length, sucking him in every time he attempts to pull out.
“baby,” he whines, squeezing his eyes shut, “m’so close, baby. feel so—so good around me.” his thrusts become sloppy as he nears his orgasm, tucking his head even further into the crook of your neck.
“me—fuck! me too!” you moan, placing a hand on the back of his head, keeping his face tucked into your neck. your stomach tightens as he keeps thrusting, orgasm threatening to spill over. “gonna cum, jae—oh god,” you cry as he brings a hand down to rub at your clit, sending you hurdling over the edge with another deep thrust.
jaehyun’s hips stutter before he pushes inside you with one last final thrust, whining into your neck as his cock spills deep inside your pussy. cum paints your walls, claiming you as his and filling you to the brim.
“fuck,” jaehyun whispers against your neck, causing you to laugh. you’re too fucked out to care about what it means that jaehyun, the man that isn’t your boyfriend, just came deep inside you as if you were his.
after a couple moments of the two of you trying to catch your breath, finding it difficult to breathe in the heat of the car, jaehyun sits up and slowly begins to pull his cock out of you. he bites his lip and watches as cum begins to spill out of your hole, dripping onto the leather beneath you.
“sometimes i miss you,” you sigh, staring up at the roof of the car. you try not to whine as you feel jaehyun’s fingers drag through the mess that’s been made of your pussy, pushing his cum back inside you.
“you shouldn’t,” comes jaehyun’s response, short and blunt. it’s the truth, because both of you know you wouldn’t work, no matter how many second-chances you were given.
“i know,” you reply, making eye contact with him and trying to read what he’s feeling. it’s one of the things jaehyun came to hate about being with you; the way you were always able to read him like an open book.
jaehyun avoids your gaze, moving to zip his pants back up. “i’ll clean you up then drive you home, baby. make sure to tell your boyfriend i said hey when you get there, okay?”
a/n: Umm i got carried away i think…zzzzbsn i just want jaehyun so bad and listening to smoke on repeat somehow made me think about ex bf jaehyun 😖😖😖 i tried to keep the angst to a minimum so that’s why this sex feels a little fast paced but i Just… i love Angst… maybe i’ll make a full version one day rhat’s more angsty ALSO WHINY JAEHYUN TRUTHERS RISE!!!! lmk ur thoughts and delusions in my inboxxxx if u have any 🙂↕️
tags: @hisunflower @wispyxjae (special tag for u because i made u wait so long for the jaehyun meal LOLOLOL)
252 notes
·
View notes
Saving this because the thread is probably going to be deleted. Mild rearranging done to show the actual flow of conversation rather than tumblr's befuckened threading
The players are @balearicbitch , @ollieoneill, and myself - @moniquill
On the question of 'Should I donate to ao3'
balearicbitch: no also stop reading fanfics and grow up
moniquill: I'm sorry that your life is so lacking in joy.
balearicbitch: it isnt tho i just read normal books instead
moniquill: "other people are reading and enjoying independently published fiction and I have very strong opinions about that, driving me to declare those people immature" is some seriously joyless behavior. Are you ok?
ollieoneill: People can do both. You’re really gross and the one who needs to grow up.
ollieoneill: Lol they are definitely not okay. I want to feel bad for people like @balearicbitch but they’re so hateful and pathetic all I can do is shake my head
balearicbitch: i dont know what to tell you but if youre older than 16 and still play pretend with fictional characters try to have experiences in the real world?!
ollieoneill: Babe I’m a married 36yo and travel the world pretty much constantly and have a wonderful, full life. I also read fan fiction. You seriously need to grow up and get a life and stop telling other people how to enjoy theirs you utterly pathetic gremlin.
moniquill: I'm 41, I play pretend with fictional characters, and I've won a Nebula and a Hugo about it. Who do you think authors the 'normal books'?
balearicbitch: "other people are reading and enjoying independently published fiction" when the fiction in question is just creating scenarios based on other people work to fulfill your need of Media Consumer
balearicbitch: looks like anyone is getting awarded these days ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
moniquill: You're the one who wanted to make a delineation between fanfiction and Normal Books.
balearicbitch: and i still stand by it. fanfiction isn't literature nor should be treated like it.
moniquill: Ok. I hear you. You're objectively incorrect, and welcome to be wrong in your wrongness. I'd say 'have fun with that' but it's clear that you're not having fun and that you don't want anyone else to have fun either. It must be a miserable way to exist, and I sincerely hope that you're able to move past it someday.
balearicbitch: have fun with your little blorbos, im sure what the literary world needs right now is another ali hazelwood
32 notes
·
View notes
stupid for you | peter maximoff
SUMMARY: you and peter fall out and he makes it up to you in his own peter way
WORD COUNT: 928
WARNINGS: some swearing.
A/N: idk what this is but writing peter is my fave so he gets all my dumb ideas ❤️ p.s. if the format sucks it’s bc im mobile.
It wasn’t like Peter had meant to upset you. Sometimes his mouth didn’t have a filter and he said things before even thinking about it so when he called you ‘annoying and needy’, he really didn’t mean it. He wasn’t that guy. He wasn’t the type of person to ever want to upset you or anyone for that matter. So when he’d seen you walk away hurt and upset, that had sent him right into action. He just had to make it up to you — make you see how important you really were to him. It gnawed at him inside that he’d been the one to make you feel that way. Never before had he ever felt so bad. So guilty.
He’d spent the whole day trying to think of what he could do to apologise then suddenly the idea hit him. Maybe it was a little stupid, maybe you’d completely hate it but he thought it’d be cool. Different. It’d be something him.
Meanwhile, you’d spent the day moping around the X-Mansion. The training session you’d had earlier had helped distract your mind but as soon as it was over, your thoughts drifted back to Peter. The fight the two of you had had been so stupid. All you’d done is made some comment about Peter needing to slow down for a minute and listen to you and it had spiralled from there. It wasn’t often the two of you argued. In fact, you never really had. In the whole six months you’d been dating things had been going smoothly. Things had been so easy going, so fun — it wasn’t really a surprise that something was bound to happen to ruin that. When things were going good there was always something that had to come along and mess it all up.
With a sigh, you started to head upstairs to your room when suddenly a blur of silver and blue rushed past you. Before you could even blink Peter was stood right in front of you, his hands hidden behind his back. Your arms wrapped around yourself as you looked at him. “Hi.”
Your nerves were mirrored in his face as he spoke. “Hey. Uh…”
The silence fell between you. It was awkward — something that didnt happen often when it came to you and Peter. Just as you were about to open your mouth to say something he began talking.
“Okay, just let me talk for a minute before I chicken out. I’m not good at this shit. I’m not the best at filtering the stuff that comes out of my mouth. That’s why I’m always getting myself in trouble. You know that but the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. You gotta believe me on that one. If I could, I’d punch myself in the face. I mean, I could but… I can’t break the goods, y’know?” He laughed lightly, trying to ease the tension.
“It’s my fau-“
“Gonna have to stop you there, babe,” he said as he pulled one of his hands from behind his back and held it up to signal you to stop. “Can’t have you taking the fall on this one. It’s all me. A Maximoff fuck up special. That little switch people have in their brain where they tell themselves to shut up before they say something dumb? Yeah, turns out mine is broken. Probably wasn’t born with one actually. I’m not letting you feel bad for this. It’s all on me, okay? I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
A small smile tugged at your lips. “It’s okay. You really don’t have to apo-“
“I do, I really do, though. Felt bad the second I said what I said. You’re not annoying and I love when you’re clingy. I love you wanting to be around me as much as I want to be around you. You caught me on one of those rare days where I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe Scott even pissed in my cereal or something, who knows. Point is that I messed up.”
“Are you gonna stop cutting me off?” You asked, an amused look on your face as you listened to your boyfriends rambling.
“Oh shit, sorry. My bad. The floor is yours.”
“What I was trying to say was that you don’t need to apologise because I forgive you anyway. We’re gonna mess up sometimes and I know you didn’t mean it. It was just hearing it come from you that upset me, I guess. Anyone else I could take it but you? Your opinions and thoughts about me matter the most. Can we just forget about it and move on?”
“Sure, yeah… but first…” he finally pulled his hand from behind his back to produce a Lego bouquet of flowers. “These are for you and lemme tell you, it was hell trying to put this together.”
“…you got me Lego flowers?”
“Duh. This way they last forever and you won’t have to worry about watering them and you can always remember the time your boyfriend was a dumbass.”
You laughed, taking them from him. “How long did it take you to put it together?”
“Might have cheated and used the ol’ mutation but I kept messing up. Some of the pieces wouldn’t fit where I wanted them to and I almost got mad and thr-“
“There’s instructions, you know.”
“Are you gonna stop cutting me off?” He grinned, hands on his hips as he echoed your words from earlier.
”Smartass.”
“And don’t you forget it.”
27 notes
·
View notes
Trumper HC: AOT CHARACTERS AS TRUMP SUPPORTERS
I'm not in Amurica or nothin so idek the guy. All I'm sayin is I think he's a funny man so lets go baby yeehaw
CHARACTERS??: CONNIE AND SASHA, MIKASA, ERWIN, REINER, BERTHOLDT, HISTORIA, PIXIS, FLOCH
Warnings: Racism, Sexism, ageism, STEREOTYPING, homophobia, transphobia, swearing, soft porn, guns, terrorism, mentions of violence and molesting. (istg im nitpicking here)
A/N: pls don't report me.
CONNIE + SASHA 🥹💃🕺 (Cowboy conspirators)
-I have to group them together Im sorry
-"We juhst tew keids werkin togeyther on ower dayddies raynch in teyxas"🤓🤠
-Sashas fam are a few hardened Trump veterans (it's in the braus bloodline) can you imagine her father NOT being a republican smth
-Connies fam is the same.
-Both of their dads are those weird uncles u only see @ thanksgiving once a year. NOT WEIRD IN A PEDO WAY. They the ones who talk abt the flouride makin the rats n frogs gay an whatnot. its a whole thing.
-BAsically con man🧍♂️ and sack nut🧍♀️ spend their days chewing on straw and standing outside abortion clinics. 👫
-They're probably like 12 or somthing idk
-But yes they really like trump. Hail trump✋. Worship trump🙏. Trump trump trump. Donald J trump💋. Love trump🫶. want trump👀. lick trump🫵. kiss trump🫵. Trump 4 life💪. Trump all day baby🫦. Trump👨🏽🦲.
-Honestly they wanna see trump more than trump wanna see them.
-Actually trump don't want to see them.
-He'd get molested, turn around and there'd be two skanky ass lookin children standing behind him how horrific.💀💀💀
-These children aren't normal
-God bless murica ✊✊ yeehaw
Mikasa es tu casa (Chilled out chad)
-Mikasa is one of them chill ones that just mind their own buisness
-Unproblematic chad😌
-She sets an example for the rest of society and shes ripped so lets all take a leaf out of mikasas book shall we
-This aint aot fr this is america 🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸 so she lived happily ever after with her mama and papa ok. no weird human traffickers or nothing🖕🖕. Her parents would've been quite traditional and conservative
-I think she'd believe in the nuclear family and gender roles and what not but her beliefs would be very mild
-You can't get her fuckin forearms from making sandwiches all day babes ❤️🔥💪
-but yeah shes a sweetheart ilhsm💋
-And lets just say her being a trumpee is like Gods way of containing this woman
-she wouldn't have missed fr🔫
-And God forbid if she did miss cuz otherwise she'd have gone up there and done it with her bare hands baby
-casual Trump enjoyer
Erwin👱♂️ (Facebook warrior)
-He's one a them grandaddy Trumps💪👴. There from the very beginning.❤️🔥❤️🔥
-You really think old people are bad at using technology?? WRONG.
-Levi helped him set up a facebook account 💋
-And It's the only fuckin thing he knows how to use on his computer. And he plays around on with his face this🤏 close to the screen, like gurl u don't need to do that 🧍♂️💀💀
-just use ur monacle or whatever🤷♀️
-But yeah whenever he comes upon gay 🌈🌈people posts on facebook my man has a heart attack. He clutches his chest falls outta his chair as he tries to get his breathing in control. 🤯😵
-Erwin will come across a post of two girls kissing an fickin collapse istg
-And then he'll get his talons out and start producing some juicy ass hate comments👹. He can't control himself, he's like a wild beast🥴😮💨, its like his arthiritis stricken claws have a gravitational pull towards that keyboard
-And he doesn't understand the whole algorithm thing either
There he squats with all these gay daddies on his facebook, hate spamming ALL of them AND HE STILL DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY FACEBOOK KEEPS SHOWING HIM THESE POSTS🤬🤬😡🫣🤷♀️
-He suffering multiple heart attacks a day people get this man off facebook🙌
-And then Levi will come over and see that Erwin has been writing hate comments under pictures of mens bulges on his computer🧍♂️
-Who gave this guy the tech knowledge to b able to cyber bully but not to close his damn tabs sheesh
-He's also become a top poster on one of the Trump groups that he follows ✊✊
-Also he uses the N word a lot 🧍♂️
Mr big tits (Bible, BBQ and an AK47)
-Oh my dear lovely big breasted Reiner Braun🍒🍒
-tells everyone abt how his papi went to 'nam and died when in reality his papi waz just a bich and left early🤫
-Not enough valour for him ig
-Even tho homeboy aint in the army 🫡 anymore he still stocks up more ammo than his local police department. 🫶🫰
-Hes just a🔅 cutesy little😻 hoarder with a cuetsy little collection of firearms too. 🤤🥰💖🩷🩵💙
-he will also wear cammo vests to the supermarket just to buy himself some spinach. He's a cammo boy. It's all he wears. 😮💨
-Aside from his gun collection and cammo obession, Reiner also loves a bit of BBQ here and there.
-believes the Founding Fathers’ original intent included God, guns, and smoked brisket.💪💪🦅🦅
-And country music of course.
-He's just a casual guy nothing too extreme😎🤠
-He owns a pair of american flag speedos tho, is confused as to why people need so many pronouns and passively aggressively competes in lawn care comps with his neighbor
-Somebody make this guy a father pls🥵😳🫃
Bechtolsheim :))))🦒🦒(Wall enthusiast)
-Oh my berty boy whom i love love love😤💕
-Let us b true with ourselves guys mr daddy long legs🕷️here has all our hearts and souls encaptured in his nice ol sweaty palms. I can tell ya now he's a man of the lord. He's down on those knees for j-dawg night'n day bro 🙏. He daps up the homeboy holy spirit on his way to bible study wit Reiner. ✝️✝️🫰
-Boy sure knows how to resist those temptations. Satan who? Sorry, B-dawg doesn't know him
-Everyone just thinks he's a nice guy 🧍🏽... which he is obv 🙄
-(In the daytime🌞, he's bertholdt, just a normal gurl💅🫦, living a normal life😸😝... but theres ✨something✨👁️👨❤️💋👨 about him🧌🥸😱 that, no one ⁉️knows yet⁉️.... 🤨🧐cause he has secrets🤭🥵🥵👹👹👹......)
-he used to b part of a terrorist group.
-☠️
-BUT HES IS(IS) A NICE GUY HE WAS JUS A LIL BIT CONFUSED BACK THEN an thats okay baby everyone gets a bit confused sometimes.
-AND this was before he met God mkay.
-But yeah, now bertholdt has a burning descrimination against muslims.
-Its the trauma man.
-His stereotyping and racism is like a festering cancer, he fights it everyday like a champ 💃💃✊
-And what does this have to do with being a trumpee you might ask?🧐
-Immigration.
-He wants em' all deported
-SOMETIMES Berts inner darkness wins out. He wants to forget his past, he wants to throw it right outta his window!... and out of his country....🦅🦅🇺🇸���🍟🍔
-This boy has seen some stuff🙇🏻🥺. And he's slowly getting better with his muslophobia. He tries. The lawd is his chemo, slowly trying to vanquish this dark dark part of himself 👿🦹, bit by bit.
-Never underestimate the power of the lord. Amen.😗
(All u christians go hard tho fr, mad respect. And all u muslims out there we buddies, go snatch that Quran and be a boss kachow)
Historian Reiss (Progress? Don't you mean bull-kaka?)
-SOMEBODY CALL THE TRAD WIFES UP IN HERE👰♂️👰♂️👰♂️👰♀️👰♀️👰♀️👰♀️👰♀️
-Girly says that the 1950s were PEAK even tho the closest thing to diversity back then was whether or not u liked jazz 🎶🎶😎
-Oh yeah she sure misses them polio days 🤤😻
-But in all seriousness she probs wears those big pantaloon undies😱🥶 like gurl u aint going parachuting thru the clouds just wear normal ones
-She's always googling how to make her child rearing hips bigger🤰🤰
-Not a single pair of pants in HER wardrobe. Not that she'd be able to wear them with her double storage solution underpants. Dresses and skirts ONLY.
-Also they must all be FLOOR length to hide those temptatious ankles🥵🥵😩
-Our modest queen🫡
-She aint trust no supermarket ultra processed shit food either she gets her eggs straight from her own chickens ass🦆 and she grows her own veggies n stuff. Good for her 🤙💪💪
-Although she did once collapse ffrom an iron deficiency cuz she couldn't find her own meat source poor girl
-she hit her head and was unconious for lik 3 days
-Her neighbors saw her undies before they saw her🪂🪂🪂
PIXIS (Mommy, can we put grandpa back into the retirement home now?)
-Bros worse than the braus and springer daddies👹👹👹👹
-He could not only write an entire 500-chapter-50k-words-per-chapter-ten-part book series abt gay frogs🫦, fake moon landings🙀, reptilian politicians🐸, 5G towers, Big pharma, chem trails🥵😷 ect ect ect but he could fact check the entire thing with blurry memes off facebook sent to him by his cousin randy
-He's a fuckin conspricay chad, unstoppable, admirable, irrestistable, alcoholic, crazy, cute🥺, chic, chadilicious bald man👨🏽🦲👨🏽🦲
-His children shipped him off to a home as soon as he turned 60 and his knee vaguely started hurting
-Hes too powerful
-Pixis does gets invited to special occasions tho cuz his family feel slightly bad
-He be an anti-science, pro magic, potter grade, wizard baby🧙♂️. Of course the government control the weather, of course climate change isn't real. 🤷♀️
-And he tell everryyyboodddyyy @ the dinner table baby👨❤️💋👨
-There are actually 8 wonders of this world. His offspring. How the. frick did they turn out so normal?🤨
-Anyways he managed to manipulate his son in law once and accidently caused a divorce
-Now he only gets invited to christmas
-And somehow he sneaks flasks of whatever into his nursing home illegally seals them out to all his nursing home pals.
-He's got an army of at least 15 of them that he's planning a coup with.🥳😏
-He also owns a MAGAs hat and suffers from mild heartburn because he only eats steak
Floch (LIBERATE THE MEN, WOMEN ARE THOTS)
-Another country boy but hes a skinny country boy who doesn't own a diesel guzzling man truck or get high blood pressure from eating steak 24/7.
-He lives wit his mama and eats the pasta salad she makes him for sunday lunch. 🧑🌾
-But yes he's still a freaky lil fanatic👹🧑🌾
-Imagine he lives in a world without pimp-dawg Eren Tate-ger. Whose Floch supposed to follow??? huh??? Donald thats who. Donald trump💪🦵.
-And andrew tate of course👨🏽🦲
-He's one of them red pillers who can sniff out a womans virginity from a mile away
-"Wats ur body count???"
-and hes very patriotic too:
-TRUMP IS JESUS 2.0, MY MAN THONG HAS AN EAGLE ON IT,CKAWW CAWW CAWWWW SAY YOU CAN SEE BY THE DAWN EARLY LIGHT WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED AND THE TWILIGHTS LAST GLEAMING🦅🦅🏈🏈🇺🇸🇺🇸???!!!!???? DADDY TRUMPS TAN IS NOT FAKE GUYS WTFFF😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🖕🖕🖕
-He's like a freaky little jehovah's witness guys
-he's so alpha dont you think?🐺🐺🐺
A/N: Sorry I think i fell off a bit at the end but I couldn't b bothered. Also yes ik the bertoldth one was a little wild but dont report me babes thank u very much. later losers.
16 notes
·
View notes
“my darling” kuroo X Reader oneshot
Summary: you dated back in highschool and never took him seriously and essentially now it’s timeskip of you two meeting again on unexpected terms
[based on yet again another song, This time it’s “love is a laserquest” by Arctic monkeys (my fav band ^~^) anyways hope you enjoy: happy ending? idk anywho, matcha girl out :p]
Coming back from being in the states for work to japan was exciting you missed kenma and all your friends back home It had been a few years since you left for America to go to college and work. Unfortunately you did dread of seeing a past lovers. More specifically Kuroo you never took the poor boy seriously back in highschool you had no reason too you were gonna leave anyways. He knew that but he couldn’t help the fact that he fell so hard. The day you left he didn’t really know what to do with himself he knew it was coming he knew that you didn’t take him seriously. He understood the circumstances that came with being with you in highschool so you couldn’t really say it was completely on you.
As your best friend kenma comes and picks you up from the airport to take you to the house you had bought in japan before you left and asked him to keep maintenance for you while you were gone. As you guys are on the ride home you ask “how’s the house?” you turn to look at him “uhm to be honest i don’t really know” he looks a bit terrified while driving.“YOU HAVENT BEEN KEEPING UP WITH IT?!” you sorta yell at him worried that your house is in shambles. “Well no, i wasn’t supposed to tell you but i asked kuroo to keep up with it for me…” he says sorta worried about how’d you feel about the guy you played in highschool taking care of your place much less making sure it was prepared for you when you came back. “oh. he’s doing it for me?” you say sorta feeling bad about how you treated him, it’s not that he didn’t know it was going to be like that you were just sad that he still tried for you like he always had always trying to make you understand how serious he was about you. As kenma drops you off at your house handing you your keys and hugging you goodbye you slowly make your way into the house, looking at how nice and clean it was you smiled softly but you felt sad. The guy you hurt the most in highschool because you never took anything seriously but your career still cared for you like he did before even though his life is probably just as busy as yours, He always made time for you. As you get ready for bed falling asleep soundly in your room you can help but dream about him and you and the memories you had in highschool.
You wake up hearing a faint noise outside “who the fuck is cutting grass this early in the morning?” you get up groggy in your pjs and walk outside seeing who it is, it was none other than kuroo cutting your grass assuming you weren’t here yet and was just here for weekly maintenance “y/n?” he says startled to see you here at all wondering why kenma didn’t tell him. You immediately freeze in your tracks as your stomach drops not knowing what to say you run back inside not wanting to face him after all these years looking like this. Why did you care how we saw you all of a sudden? anyways you run into the shower and try to look decent but in your head your hoping he’d be done before you got out so you wouldn’t have to face him once more. As you peek out your window he’s still there doing yard work, looking good while doing it at that. You snap out of your stupid delusional and decided to fix him up something since you feel sort of bad about all of this and decided makes it’s time to talk you walk outside facing kuroo one more time “Hey kuroo i fixed you something, im sorry for scaring you earlier i was just shocked to see you” you nervously say with a half smile “no worries y/n it’s all fine to be honest i wouldn’t have showed up and did this if kenma told me you were already here i just came to do the weekly check up you know?” he says walking up to you “Thank you for keeping up with the house even though it wasn’t your job ill reimburse you for everything if you’d like” you say and he laughs “no it’s all good i did this just to keep me busy i guess” he half smiles with a bit of sadness in his face. You both take a sit outside on the little table you had out there as his eating the snack you fixed up for him with grass stains on his face and sweat beads on his forehead you can’t help but notice how handsome he’s gotten. He looks up at you and says “Do you still feel younger than you thought you did by now? or darling have you started feeling old yet?” he laughs a bit “don’t worry i’m sure that you’re still breaking hearts with the efficiency that only youth can harness” he says has his smile slowly dims, you respond “and do you still think love is a laserquest?”
“what about you y/n do you take it all more seriously now? You know i’ve tried to ask you this in someday dream that i had, but you’re always busy being make believe.” he says taken you back, you look at him sideways with even more sadness than you did before in the morning “and do you look in the mirror to remind yourself your there or does somebody’s goodnight kisses got that covered?” you respond.
“when im not being honest i pretend that you were just some lover, now i can’t think of [your fav thing or place] without thinking of you i doubt that comes as a surprise.” he says “and i can’t think of anything to dream about, i can’t find anywhere to hide” you responded with your head rested in your hands feeling overwhelmed. You both sit there for a moment in time which felt like years but truly only lasted a minute “i’m sorry kuroo. I’m sorry for everything and the way i treated you back in highschool i was so dumb and focused on something in the future and taking the then for granted.” you say lightly crying “you didn’t deserve any of that you treated me so well and still do i didn’t realize how much love i had for you till i left but i thought it was too late” you say breaking down fully at that point kuroo sat there in shocked seeing how much you changed how you weren’t that girl that didn’t care about guys and only wanted a simply good time, how now you were a girl that had everything she wanted expect genuine love his eyes softened at her he got up and hugged her tightly “it’s okay y/n you were young and had goals and didn’t want anyone to get in the way of that even if you wanted simply pleasure at the time i still knew you were a good person, to tell the truth i always hope you’d come back and we’d be able to have this conversation that you’d come back for me and im happy it was later than never.” he says hugging you. You stare up at him with teary eyes….
“i love you kuroo, can we start again?” you say softly “id love too my darling more than anything.” he says happy to have you back and this time fully and for real.
(rushed ending im sorry LOL)
17 notes
·
View notes