#is this cheating? can i say it's whatever a bunch of other authors are writing?

[eqt-95]

what WIP are you most excited about?

not sure, but it's probably not one i'm personally writing.

[drakenology]

Arguments - feat Bakugo, Todoroki, Kirishima and Tamaki Amajiki

author’s note: i’m feeling angsty today. so this is gonna be about arguing with some of the bnha characters. anyone else feel off today? just me?

warnings: swearing, angst, fluff 🥺, and suggestive themes not full on smut. characters aged up! some of these are long.. i was feeling dramatic

headers from @annicon

Bakugo

as much as i love this man i can admit he would be SOO stubborn

would get frustrated easily

yells 🥺

he knows when to walk away when the conversation isn’t getting anywhere which is good

would NEVER hurt you (i’ve seen ppl write that this mf hits you... girl...domestic violence is not an aesthetic.)

he isn’t the best with words so it’ll take him a little while to admit he’s wrong because he can’t verbalize how sorry he is sometimes

when he does he’ll hug and kiss you and apologize like a million times after he’s done being a stubborn little prick.

gives you the best “i’m sorry “ dick imaginable holy shit

Bakugo done did it. He pissed you off. You were already having a terrible day and then you come home to this motherfucker with a bunch of people over after you told him that you weren’t in the mood for company. So for the rest of the night when everyone left, you gave him the silent treatment knowing that he HATES when you ignore him on purpose.

“Y/N?”

You say nothing, continuing scrolling through your phone to look like you were preoccupied.

“Y/N, what’s your problem? I know you hear me.” Bakugo persists.

You ignore him, turning your back to face him. He grunts and grabs your shoulder, turning you back around to face him.

“Y/N if you’re pissed at me just say that. But ignoring me is fucking immature and it’s pissing me off!” He yells. Translation: “What did I do? 🥺”

“I’M pissing YOU off!? That’s funny. Because it’s not like you didn’t completely ignore my fucking feelings tonight. Why did you invite Kirishima and Denki over after I specifically said I didn’t feel like playing fucking HOSTESS!” You shout back, throwing your phone somewhere.

“Are you serious!? I never told them to come here they just showed up. What was I supposed to do tell them to piss off!?” Katsuki asked.

“YES!” You scream, annoyed that he’s not getting the reason why you’re upset. You never minded having Bakugo’s friends over but you just wanted to have a calm night with just the two of you. You were exhausted and fixing dinner for you and 3 other people and listening to loud chatter about sports and video games was not on your to-do list.

“This is so fucking petty! I don’t get why you’re so mad that they came over.” Katsuki said shrugging his shoulders.

“That’s the problem, idiot! You don’t fucking get it! I worked all day today. I just wanted us to relax but no, you wanted to have a fucking guys night in my living room! It’s the complete disregard for my feelings that’s pissing me off not the fact that they came. I told you I was tired and you having them come over anyways was like a big fuck you to me!” You explain, your face pulled into a face Katsuki knows is your angry face. Bakugo sighs, not ready to admit that he was wrong.

“Tch. Whatever. I’m gonna go sleep on the fucking couch. Let me know when you’re done being fucking frigid.” He shouts, clearly out of anger.

“Fine.”

“Fine!”

Katsuki leaves your shared room and slammed the door, you throwing yourself onto the bed. You feel tears sting your eyes as you sob into your pillow. You hated fighting with Bakugo, and you knew he hated it too. He has a hard time expressing himself without getting defensive sometimes. But you knew he felt bad. You sigh and close your eyes and go to sleep.

The next morning you get up from bed and get ready to start your day. You shower and brush your teeth, you and Bakugo strategically avoiding each other all morning to go and do your daily routines. You didn’t utter a word to each other. Just questions and short answers.

“Got work?”

“Yup.”

“When?”

“7:30.”

The silence killed you both as you sat at the table and ate breakfast, Bakugo’s face pulled into a frown as he ate. You roll your eyes and go to put your dishes in the sink and grab his once he’s done. You can hear him get up from his chair as you wash both your plates and dry them. You had assumed he was leaving so you just wash all the rest of the dishes without turning your back. Suddenly you felt familiar arms wrap around your waist.

“Let me go.” You say, tearing up at the sudden touch. He was trying to make up with you and you were so ready to forgive him. The tension was almost too much to bear. This fight was small and it turned into something way bigger than need be.

“Not until you listen to me. I’m sorry, ok? I should have never yelled at you the way I did. And calling you frigid wasn’t ok either. I shoulda just told everyone to go home. We have those dumbasses over all the time. One night wouldn’t have killed me. I’m sorry. Can we just forget this shit ever happened? I hate it when you’re mad at me.” He pleaded, burrowing his face into the crook of your neck. You smile and turn around to look at his face, cupping his cheeks in both your hands as you stand on you tip toes to kiss him. He kisses you back eagerly, happy that you and him are back on good terms. He pulled away from the heated kiss and looks at the clock on the microwave.

“6:30...we still have an hour to kill. If you’re late I’ll drop you off.” Katsuki says, his eyes turning dark with feral lust.

“Late? What are yo-“ you’re interrupted by Bakugo pulling you into your bedroom with determination to make things right.. his way.

Tamaki (🥺 my new found love)

Tamaki is NOT a confrontational person so arguing with you is really hard. He hates raising his voice or even getting to a point to where he’s angry because he doesn’t want to think about hurting you in anyway.

He’ll shut down and turn cold or try and act nonchalant.

he might even avoid conflict by changing the subject

if he’s riled up enough though he’ll cuss you out.. to his dismay

doesn’t like being mad at you and vice versa

hates arguments.. like honestly can you just get over it so he can eat you out now?

speaking of eating you out, he gives apology head and he won’t stop until you say you forgive him.

Tamaki didn’t like to admit it but he was really jealous. Like really really jealous like YANDERE type jealous. You and him were out to dinner with Mirio so you were all chatting about mindless nothing, catching up like you always do. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary for you but to Tamaki it appeared that Mirio was a little too playful at dinner with you. He was cracking jokes and poking fun and Tamaki took it as him flirting with you; which Mirio would never disrespect your relationship like that. Rage sat in the pit of Tamaki’s chest as you laugh at all his jokes. He was furious but hid it pretty well for the night.

“And then Tamaki wet himself in front of the whole class when I scared him with my quirk in middle school. Can you believe it?” Mirio laughs, causing you to laugh at the thought.

“Oh leave him alone, Togata.” You giggle, waving your hand in front of your face to stop the tears from laughter. He had been making you laugh all night all to Tamaki’s disliking. He was quiet all dinner, which you noticed immediately after Togata’s last joke.

“Hey Tamaki, is everything ok?” You ask, concerned that he might not want to be out anymore.

“Yeah.” He said coldly. “Actually I’m just gonna go to the car. I feel kinda sick.” He stands from his seat and walks to the exit, absolutely fucking furious that you were “flirting” with his childhood friend right in front of him.

“Awkward. What’s up with him?” Mirio asks, completely dumb founded by Tamaki’s sudden disappearance.

“I dunno. I’m gonna go to the car and see what’s wrong. Do you mind?” You ask, standing from your seat.

“Nah that’s cool. I’m actually gonna head out. You go on ahead, Y/N. I’ll take care of the tab.. this time.” Mirio jokes. You giggle and thank him, walking towards the exit. You walk through the parking lot and find the car, seeing Tamaki sitting in the passenger side with his arms crossed across his chest. What was his deal? You open the car door and sit in the driver’s side to meet a thick tension.

“What’s wrong Tamaki? Do you really feel sick or are you upset with me?” You ask.

“Why don’t you ask Mirio? I’m sure he’ll be able to answer since he’s the only guy you talked to all night. It was like I wasn’t even there.” Tamaki says, calm but obviously pestered.

“Is that was this is about? Tama you know it wasn’t like that. Mirio has always been a jokester what’s the difference now?” You ask, getting a little upset at his accusation.

“The difference is that he was trying to make a pass at you. He was so obviously flirting with you.” He says, his tone becoming stern. You’re shocked at how he was getting, frowning at how unreasonable he was being.

“No he wasn’t, Tamaki.” You say, looking him dead in his eyes.

“Yes he was. I’m not about to fight with you about this he was clearly fucking flirting with you. He joked with you all night and you laughed at every single thing he said. You must want to fuck him, don’t you?” He asked, looking at you with some sort of betrayal in his eyes. This infuriates you.

“What are you talking about!? You know I would never cheat on you Tamaki. Especially not with your best friend. What’s with you!?” You ask sternly, not amused or pleased in the slightest.

“Whatever, Y/N.” Tamaki says, looking out the car window while turning the other way so he’s not facing your side of the car. He knew this was stupid and he knew your loyalty was never to be questioned but he couldn’t shake this feeling of jealousy.

“No. You don’t get to start a fight and then blow me off when you’re through arguing! Talk to me!” You yell, furious at this point. Tamaki shrugs, avoiding the situation entirely now.

“Just drive. I wanna go home.” He says, not taking his eyes off the view from his window. You roll your eyes and start the car, pulling out of the parking lot to start your way home. The drive home was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You were so angry that you didn’t talk to Tamaki the whole way home, knowing you’d probably cuss him out if he said the wrong thing. Tamaki immediately felt bad after picking that fight. He didn’t know what came over him, he knew he had to make it up to you before you two go to bed angry with each other. You approach your shared apartment and park the car, silence still riddling the car. The tension between you both was intense and it scared you. You’ve never seen Tamaki this upset. Jealousy was always an issue for him but he’s never reacted this strongly.

“Y/N?” Tamaki says breaking the silence. You look at him, a little relieved that he’s talking to you again.

“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I know you’d never cheat on me, of course. But I was just so jealous. It felt like you and Mirio were on a date and I was just the third wheel. The thought of him taking you from me drove me crazy. I wasn’t thinking. Can you forgive me?” He says, placing his hand on top of yours on the steering wheel. You sniffle, tearing up at his apology.

“Tamaki, I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I love you so much. No one could ever take your place, not even Mirio. I’d never betray you like that, ever.” You sob, tears flowing down your face. Tamaki questioning your loyalty really hurt your feelings and he hated seeing you cry.

“I know that. Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. It was so stupid of me to even assume.” He says, taking his hand and wiping your tears away. He took your hand and gave it a sweet kiss to soothe you, rubbing circles with his thumb on it as he consoled you. You giggle and wipe your tears, happy that you guys made up after that silly fight.

“Let’s go inside.”

Todoroki

arguments between you two get heated. It gets to a point where sometimes you don’t speak to each other for days. he’ll definitely give small reminders that he still loves you to butter you up to alleviate some of the tension.

raises his voice

just as stubborn as bakugo

to a fault of his upbringing facing his emotions was hard for him sometimes, causing him to be cold when you fight

when it’s time to get over it and make up he’ll make it a huge event; flowers, chocolates and lots of freaky apology sex

cant stand arguing with you just like tamaki but wont back down in the slightest

is sure he doesn’t say anything harsh to make the situation worse.

“Why are you being so stubborn?!” You shout at your bi-colored haired boyfriend. The two of you have been fighting all day to your surprise. Shoto was usually easy going and you two hardly fought. But today, a bug seemed to have crawled up Todoroki’s ass and he’s been picking fights all day. You’ve been arguing about small things like who left the bathroom light on or who ate the last hot pocket. Right now it was an argument about when you’re going to meet his father Endeavor. It’s been almost a year since you two have been together and you don’t even think his father knows you exist.

“For the last time Y/N we’re not going to my dad’s house. That’s final! You can argue with yourself about this. End of discussion.” Shoto says, very annoyed at the thought of being near his father. He still couldn’t stand him, even as an adult. He can’t bring himself to bring you around him because he knows how he can be. If he even says something slightly rude to you he’ll flip the fuck out. You groan in frustration, wishing he’d at least consider.

“He doesn’t know we’re together does he!? What am I to you some secret? Why did you stay with me all this time if your family doesn’t even know I exist !?” You shout, tearing up with seering anger.

“It’s not that. Of course he knows we’re together; my whole family knows! Why do you want to involve him so badly?!” Shoto yells.

“Why wouldn’t I want to meet my fucking boyfriend’s father!? You’re not making any sense.” You say, getting more and more frustrated as Shoto makes excuses.

“You know what? Fine. We’ll go meet him tomorrow. But as soon as he treats you like you’re not good enough for me don’t be surprised when I tell you I fucking told you so. God you can be so stubborn sometimes.” Shoto shouts, rolling his eyes at you.

“Oh I’M stubborn!? That’s rich coming from you. You’re being so unreasonable right now. I know you and your father-“

“YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT MY FATHER. Stop speaking on things you haven’t the first idea about!” Shoto yells, punching a nearby wall. (Oop.) You flinch, shocked at how angry he got so quickly. You tear up and run off to your bedroom, Todoroki immediately regretting getting so upset with you. He scared you and that’s something he never wanted to do to you under any circumstances. You cried yourself to sleep that night, angry that things got so heated. Why did he react like that? And why was he treating you as if you knew nothing about him and his father. He would vent to you about him all the time and you gave him advice when you could. But tonight you felt like you were nothing but an outsider. Shoto didn’t even bother coming into the room. He couldn’t face you after making you cry. Right now, he hated himself for treating you like that. He was just so afraid of his father’s judgement he didn’t want him to hurt your feelings with how crass he was. If Endeavor found the slightest thing wrong with you he’d never let you or him forget it. He could hear him now calling you unworthy of the Todoroki name. The thought alone enraged him. In his own cryptic way, he was trying to protect you from him but this was no way to do it nor did he have the right. Todoroki slept on the couch, missing your warmth against him in your bed.

The next morning the two of you drove to the Todoroki estates in silence. You were still pissed at him and Shoto didn’t want to say anything to further upset you. He was annoyed he was making this trip in the first place but he knew he had to man up for your sake. It was unfair of him to try and keep you away from his family especially since you would one day take on his name and be a part of the family when he married you. He knew he couldn’t keep you away forever, but god couldn’t he have had a little more time? He dreaded this day.

“Ready?” Shoto asks coldly, trying to hide his remorse from his tone. You nod, getting out of the car before he could walk over and open the door for you. Shoto is surprised and gets out with you, guiding you to his old home. He can’t lie, he’s so fucking nervous. What if he hates you? Not that he cares what he thinks, he’ll marry you anyway but still. He at least wants his blessing. You walk with Shoto to the main room of the home and wait for Endeavor to come downstairs. Suddenly you hear footsteps from across the room. It was him. He was tall and his aura was so dark and intimidating.

“You must be Y/N.” Endeavor says, looking down at your small frame. You nod, a wave of nervousness shooting through your body.

“N-Nice to meet you sir.” You bow respectfully.

“No need for that. Please, have a seat.” Endeavor says gesturing to the couch. You and Shoto sit down next to each other, Endeavor following suit by sitting across from you two.

“So.. how long have you two been together?” Endeavor asks, his booming voice almost sending an echo throughout the empty room. You gulp and look towards Shoto.

“10 months.” He answers for you, taking your hand to calm you. You’re still mad at him but god you’re glad he’s doing his best to ease your anxiety.

“And you just now arrange a meeting? Hm.” Endeavor questions, looking at you as if he was scanning you to find something irredeemable about you. You look down at your lap, unable to keep eye contact with the intimidating man.

“I-I wanted to meet with you sooner. Me and Shoto fought about coming here last night but I convinced him.” You say nervously.

“I see. You seem like an ok girl. Shoto has had his fair share of.. inadequate women in his life so, you’re a step up from the rest.” Endeavor says, motioning for a maid to make you all some tea. You laugh nervously, Shoto squeezing your hand in annoyance. Was that a compliment?

“You two seem like you’ve been fighting.” Endeavor says suddenly, observing both your body language. You’re both shocked as you turn to look at each other. How’d he know that?

“What’s it to you?” Shoto asks, glaring at his father.

“Oh nothing. But if you’re planning on marrying this girl it’s probably best to not argue too much with her. Hell, she might up and leave.”

Shoto looks at you, pain in his eyes. The look on his face alone said “I’m sorry.” Shoto hated to admit it but his father was right. Fighting as much as you have been, especially the fight you had last night was toxic and could take a toll on your relationship.

You smile at him and turn to Endeavor

“I’d never leave him.” You say, snuggling closer to Shoto as he blushed. He was embarrassed that he was being so vulnerable around his father but he knew that only you could make this happen.

After a long conversation with Endeavor and Shoto, you leave with a feeling that you might have won him over. You think? He was hard to read, just like Shoto. He was more like his father than he likes to admit. Shoto opens the car door for you to get inside and then walks to the drivers side to come in. You sit in the car for a while, silent until Shoto grabs you and leans over to kiss you. You kiss him back, tearing up into the kiss.

“I’m sorry, snowflake. I can’t believe I raised my voice at you like that. I was just so scared that he was gonna hate you and say something disrespectful. I should have just told you that instead of being defensive. I’m so so sorry I scared you. Please forgive me. ” He pleaded, peppering kissing on your face.

“I know. And I forgive you.” You giggle, pulling Todoroki closer to you to kiss him again.

Kirishima

Out of all the boys he’s the least stubborn when it comes to fighting. But don’t be fooled, he’ll argue you down. he’s very good at managing his temper when it comes to you.

Regrets starting a fight in the first place

Just wants to cuddle and go back to normal

But when he’s angry hooo boy

doesn’t even yell, he’s like a calm angry which is terrifying

tries talking over you, trying to plead his case

will not rest until the situation is resolved and over with so you guys can move on

like all the others... apology sex

will try not to lose his patience

You and Kirishima had been together for a while now so it was only inevitable that you two have your first fight. You were always a vigilant person and wanted to help others even though you were quirkless like Deku was at one point. Kirishima is protective of you to a fault and the thought of you getting hurt or worse didn’t sit well with him at all. You assured him that you were capable of taking care of yourself and protecting yourself but he wasn’t having any of it. You spent years perfecting your martial arts skills, training your ass off for countless hours everyday and he knew that. But he didn’t want you to one day meet your match without him there to protect you.

“Y/N, drop it. You’re not going on missions with me and that’s final. It’s too dangerous.” Eijiro said, his brows furrowed. He was trying not to lose his patience with you but you kept insisting. He just wished you’d forget about this whole thing; for your safety.

“You don’t have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do! I’m fully capable for taking care of myself and you know that.” You yell, irritated at your boyfriend underestimating your abilities. Eijiro sighs and stands up from the couch to stand in front of you, inching so close you could almost kiss.

“I’ll die before I let you go out there. Do you know what would happen to me; to your friends and family if something happened to you!? We’d be crushed. Please just drop this.” Kirishima says, wanting to avoid this conversation all together. But alas, nothing was changing your mind. You were very head strong and stubborn to no avail so you weren’t going down without a fight.

“You can’t stop me!” You yell

“Oh I can’t?” Eijiro challenged.

“No. You can’t. You can’t treat me like a child, Eijiro.” You say. “How can you say I’m not ready if you don’t give me a chance to prove I am!?”

“Because you just aren’t! Okay!? You say you’re not a child but you’re acting like one and a petulant one at that. Just drop it! God, you can be so stubborn sometimes. Don’t you see I’m just trying to keep you safe!?” Kirishima yells, instantly regretting raising his voice at you and losing his cool. You tear up, furious that he’s treating you like some kid. You grab your stuff and prepare to leave his apartment.

“Where are you going?” Kirishima sighs

“Fuck you, Eijiro.” You say, walking away from him and going outside to cool off. Kirishima tries to grab you before you leave but you snatch your arm away from him and walk outside with a huff and a slam of the door. You wipe your hot tears away and start aimlessly walking down the street to go home. Hell, you don’t even know your way home from Eijiro’s place but you’ll be damned if you go back there. As you walk you see Kirishima’s car pull up to the side of you, driving slowly to keep up with your walking pace.

“Y/N please get in the car.” He says out the car window

“No! I don’t wanna talk to you so just go away!” You yell, continuing to walk as the brisk wind assaults your bare skin. Dammit you forgot your coat.

“Y/N! You’re being ridiculous just please get in the car. You left your jacket; it’s freezing out here!” Eijiro shouts, getting out of the car and grabbing you to pull you inside. You groan, obviously being overpowered by your strong boyfriend. Kirishima slams the door and gets back inside, drives back to his apartment and parks in the driveway. He sighs and leans his head on the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry I got so heated with you. But can you blame me? I’m worried about you. Sure we’ll be on these missions together but what if something happens? What if I’m not there to protect you when something goes wrong? These missions are unpredictable; anything could happen and I’d literally die if even a scratch is put on you.” Eijiro pleads. You start crying, sniffling at his words. He was right to be worried.

“I love you, Eijiro and I appreciate you being so concerned about me. But that doesn’t give you the right to shelter me. You can’t just force me to not follow my dream.” You sob, wiping your tears away. Eijiro grabs your hand and kisses it.

“I know. I just can’t bear the thought of you being hurt. But if this is what you really want, I have no choice but to at least see this through.” Kirishima says, holding your small hand in his two massive ones. You smile, putting your other hand on top of his.

“Thank you. Also, I’m sorry for saying fuck you to you. That was mean.” You say pouting.

“It was. Hurt my feelings.” Eijiro said faking sadness, immediately laughing as he watched your face frown up again at the thought of hurting his feelings.

“Oh shut up.”

[butwhatifidothis]

I've been keeping up with your breakdown of The Fic for a little bit now, and it's been fascinating (and I do mean disheartening and disgusting) watching it go from bullshitty fix-it dressed as canon to...god, whatever it's turned into. And I genuinely would not care about this fic if I didn't see it and its author cited as some sort of embodiment of the game's canon; if it weren't one of the most popular fe3h fics because people treat it seriously. I fully believe people should get to write whatever they want and have a space to do it without hassle, but...but this fic, this author? It distresses a little to think of the damage it's done to this fandom, and the worrying real-life implications I've seen from people who think this fic should be taken as truth at face value. I'm not a fandom novice by any means, but this HAS to be something new for me. (As an aside, thank you for giving me and a whole bunch of others an opportunity to look at this fic without engaging with it directly. Your commentary is both blunt and perceptive (and amusing when the situation calls for it) which makes this otherwise GARBAGE situation a learning experience if nothing else. Masterclass on how not to write a fic, anyone?)

Like, I've mentioned before that being in the 3H fandom is a lot like being in the Bleach fandom for me for how many similarities there are, and I do see a good few here too: "cheating isn't that bad actually," blatant sexism, getting so many things about canon straight up wrong.

But, like, even in Bleach that mostly stuck to shipping? Like, fuckin', I dunno, Toshiro's characterization never got fucked around with by the shipping war (which was and still kinda is the Big thing goin' on for the most part) or something like that. But this fic in large part helped fuck over so many people's interpretations of the characters, the themes, and even just basic plot-points of 3H as a whole - I think I can say this is definitely a first for me as well.

Like, I've seen meta posts be recommended to others to get a grasp on elements of a story, which at least makes more sense? Given that meta posts (should) stick to the actual story in question - they can be inaccurate and not the best quality, but it's at least keeping to what actually happens. But, like, a fic is transformative by nature - it's going to add non-canonical things to fill in cracks, it's going to move in directions not taken by the source work, and, well, do things that if done in meta posts would mark a bad meta post.

Which is exactly what happens by Chapter 20 of this fic: EdeIgard doesn't have visions of the other routes, in the actual canon lore of 3H she has no relation to Divine Pulse, Kronya is never saved and "redeemed," EdeIgard and Ingrid/Sylvain/Marianne can't ever speak directly to each other let alone be oh so close friends, Flayn and Seteth can't join CF under any circumstances, etc. etc.. Imagine if those things or anything like those things appeared in a serious meta post! It'd be laughed out of the room! Like, this is fine to have in a fic because fics are all about saying "nah thanks I'm good" to some degree in regards to keeping strictly to canon (because if you want nothing but canon you'd just... play the game again lmao), but seeing this fic be taken any kind of serious is like... wild lmao.

And thank you!! I'm really glad my notes are if nothing else entertaining to read through 💞

[jarofstyles]

SK8ER BOI - Kickflip

A/N: Here is the first installment our take on bad boy harry! It gets into things pretty quick but there is lots of content to come. Skater boy Harry is essentially what you wish every boy with a nicotine addiction was like featuring Timothée Chalamet as the uninterested boyfriend 🤭 We had a lot of fun writing this story so we hope you enjoy! - n+d

send feedback and requests here

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masterlist

pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

warnings: smut, cheating

word count: 8.5k

Y/N was just an average girl. 

Though some could say she tread on the nerdier side of things, she was neither here nor there as far as social groups at school. No one really bullied her, she sort of just kept to herself and did her work and that was all she needed to get by. Her parents were middle class, working average jobs, and Y/N would likely follow suit. She really wasn’t sure what she wanted to do just yet. Everything was fine in her life, except for the fact that her boyfriend of three years refused to touch her. It was a shame really. She had grown a really strong attachment to him and they used to hang out all the time, but as they got older it seemed like he wanted less and less to do with her. His status as student body president definitely helped her out and well... Everyone had a crush on Timothée. She really wanted to explore with him, wanted to pleasure him and vice versa, bond in a way so many others described. But she just boiled it down to her not being sexy enough for him. She saw the browser history on his computer when he left it out in his bed while showering. He didn’t even try to hide it. Y/N, couldn’t say she didn’t have fantasies about one particular bad boy. Harry. 

Harry was in fact, that skater boy. That one guy that rode his board out of school— until he had gotten his car. He still rode it around the school campus, not at all hiding it. Even at the age of 17, he had gotten tattoos. His parents were wicked cool. They didn’t mind him doing whatever as long as he did well in school, and attended functions like family parties and whatever. They were close, anyways. His father was a well known quantum physicist and his mum, a romance novel author. His group of friends called his home their main hang out area. He had a good head on his shoulder despite what his look may say. He knew people would definitely be judging him and truth be told, he didn’t much care. He was more into what he was working towards versus what high school champs had to say. 

Harry was intrigued when Mr. Beck partnered him with Y/N for a science project, though. She was a very good girl. Known for good grades and dating that class president dude, Timothée. He was pretty sure the dude was 100% gay or at least bi based on the subtle flirting he had initiated with Harry until a few years back when he decided to date Y/N. In his opinion, it was a waste because whenever he saw them, there was no passion. Y/N was hot as fuck— you’d have to be blind to not see it. But he didn’t know what went on behind the scenes. He wasn’t close with her but she seemed chill enough, so he didn’t mind when she was partnered with him. 

“Hey. Come in.��� He said politely as he answered the door for Y/N, holding it open and taking her bag. He could hear the little jingle of bells on collars and realized he hadn’t warned her. “Uh— we have a bunch of cats. Is that cool? Or do we need to leave? Sorry, I didn’t think to ask if you were allergic or something.”

“Hi.” Y/N squeaked out, taking a step inside and thanking him for taking her bag. His house was massive! You’d never be able to tell he had a house like this just by looking at him, but the address clearly stated it was his so she didn’t bother leaving and looking for another. The first thing she noticed besides the beautiful interior of the house was the sound of little bells. Y/N turned her head to see about four cats coming towards her and her heart melted. “Oh my goodness! I didn’t know you had kitties!” She quickly dropped down to her knees to greet them, “hi little angels!” She cooed, sticking her hand out for each of them to have a sniff and see if they liked her or not before she went to pet them. She looked up at Harry with a bright smile, “Sorry, my parents never let me have pets after my bunny died in 4th grade because they didn’t want me to go through that emotional trauma again.” She knew it was a bit of an overshare, but that’s just the kind of person she was. Harry looked extremely attractive from this angle, ideas swirling around in her mind about all the things she could do with him. Y/N stood up again, fixing her little overalls before pulling off her shoes and leaving them by the door. She didn’t want to get a nice house like this all messy. She walked up to Harry again, expecting him to lead her towards his room or wherever they wanted to work.

Harry was impressed. All the cats seemed to like her, including Grumpy. He was named that for a reason. His smush face and grumpy look were warnings for how he really didn’t like anyone but Harry and his parents. But he was rubbing against Y/N’s hand and then her leg with a purr. 

“Oh. I’m sorry about your rabbit. It always sucks when they die.” Harry said softly. He wasn’t sure why she told him, but it did make him sad to hear it. He lost a cat a few months back and it did hurt. There was definite emotional trauma in it. “They like you. That’s cool. They’ll probably follow us up. Are you cool with going to my room? That’s where my computer is.” He hadn’t brought it down but his room was his preferred study space. He also didn’t want her to think he was some creep so gave her the option, which she nodded to. “It’s at the top, the attic space so prepare for some steps.” He said sheepishly, picking up her bag again so he could carry it up. “Oof. Are there bricks in ‘ere?” He was teasing.

“I don’t mind.” Y/N felt good about the fact that his cats liked her, she was rather fond of them already so she didn’t mind them coming upstairs with them. She felt herself get all nervous because well... she would be going to Harry’s room. He probably had no idea about the filthy thoughts she had about him, even just watching him walk up the stairs was hot. “No! Just my laptop and notebook... maybe a pencil case... and a water bottle.” Y/N defended, feeling her face get all blushy because she did realize there was quite a lot of stuff in her bag. However, walking up the stairs wasn’t all too difficult. They were perfectly spaced out which was nice, all of the decor in the house was beautiful but still very cozy. The house was definitely lived in. 

His room though? Goodness. 

“Wow...” Y/N mumbled as she stepped up inside. It was amazing. The walls were white but he had a theme of wood and navy, some vintage looking items here and there. Overall she noticed his little reading nook and what seemed to be an astronomy section with bean bags and a telescope. He even had a mini fridge in there and a cupboard... even a microwave! It was a whole little man cave. 

“Yeah, s’nice. It’s my own little place.” He smiled at her reaction, putting her bag down on his bed as he grabbed his laptop and unplugged it from the charger. “Want a water?” He didn’t listen for an answer, rather grabbed her one and handed it to her. His mum had raised him to always give company a drink. “We can work on my bed. The cats will probably come in here and pretend they aren’t looking for attention when they are.” He smirked, going over to his bed and sitting against the headboard like area. She looked shy so he tilted his head, patting the blanket. “C’mon then. Don’t be shy. This isn’t your first time in a boys room, is it?” He couldn’t imagine that Timothée was dating a hot bitch like Y/N and not be tapping it. If she didn’t have a boyfriend he would be trying to get her to know better because she really was gorgeous. But they’d been dating too long and Y/N probably wouldn’t go for that.

Y/N knew that her blush gave away her answer as she went to sit on his bed, not quite next to him though. She was a bit too nervous for that. In her mind she was already sitting on Harry’s lap with his hands gripping at her ass, his perfectly plump lips slotted between her own. Y/N shook her own thoughts out of her head but felt like she needed to answer his question. 

“Maybe it is...” She mumbled, pulling her laptop out of her bag and turning it on. It suddenly got very hot in his room and not just because they were in the attic. Y/N was burning up, his eyes were very obviously on her and she knew he’d ask and she’d definitely confess to him. She’d do anything Harry wanted her to do really, fuck. She just wanted to be touched. Seeing the look of shock and confusion prompted her to explain further despite how anxiety provoking it might have been. “Timmy and I don’t—” Y/N started, looking away feeling all embarrassed. “He won’t...” She couldn’t even say it, she was just that shy and embarrassed.

Oh. Wow. He didn’t.... he didn’t fuck her? Harry thought.

“You’re kidding?” He raised a brow. He understood what she meant. It went from zero to a hundred real quickly but he couldn’t say he was angry about it. He just didn’t understand why. 

Y/N’s face grew incredibly hot, looking up at Harry with a serious but semi spooked expression when he asked if she was kidding. She absolutely wasn’t kidding. If she was kidding she wouldn’t be so damn horny and ravenous. She felt like she could burst all the time, touch starved beyond belief. Sure, he’d kiss her, but never anything too passionate. It would always make him uncomfortable the second they got too hot. 

“How come you’re tellin’ me this? I mean... it’s fine you do, I won’t say shit but, we barely know each other.” He questioned, putting an arm behind his head as he looked expectantly at her for an answer. She was hot. Sexy as fuck, had that innocent good girl appeal and he loved that shit, personally. Timmy. God, the least sexy name to moan in bed. Really. He could only think about the fairy godparents cartoon. Ick. He was surprised though. “You’ve been dating for years, haven’t you?” It definitely wasn’t a Y/N problem. She was blurting things out so if she wanted to, she would have told him.

Y/N’s mouth went dry because well, she had an answer for him, she just wasn’t sure how he’d react. “cause... I know you enough to know you make me really nervous, especially right now.” Y/N was really bad at being sexy, her delivery and flirting was horrible but she hoped he picked up what she was putting down. “Yeah... we’ve been together for three years.” Y/N explained, letting out a deep breath. “It wasn’t so bad at first, but I just—” She was horny. She was so fucking horny it was ridiculous. She’d probably moan if they held hands at this point. “I’ve tried, but he’s not into it I guess.”

Harry could tell she was horny. He could feel it. He just knew. Looking at her, she was a bit antsy. Not able to sit still but most importantly, squeezing her thighs together. No way. She was horny and maybe partly because of him? 

“Not into it? That’s some bullshit.” Harry scoffed. “Not to be weird, but you’re hot as fuck. If he’s not into it he might be gay or is just blind.” He didn’t want to offend her but he had a feeling it was the first. Either way, there had to be a reason for him not wanting to eat the girl alive. Harry had definitely noticed Y/N before. She was cute, kind, had his favorite type of body, and had pretty, full lips. Also, a very cute laugh. She was innocent and he liked that type of vibe. Maybe it was a bit fucked to be aroused by that but hey, he was a teenage boy as well. “Don’t have to be nervous, babe. I don’t bite. Unless asked.” He gave her another smirk. Her blush was cute and her flush reminded him again at how easy it was to work her up. They’d begun working but Harry still had a question of two, and he could feel her hormones— he swore he could. The poor thing. 

Well. There it goes. 

The guy Y/N had been having sexual fantasies about for years calling her hot? Of course she wouldn’t be able to calm down now. Her face hadn’t cooled off, he didn’t really give her a chance to either. She just pulled her hair up into a bun but it didn’t help. Poor girl, you could see it on her neck too. She was just nervous and embarrassed and horny. So so horny. Timmy being gay though? It could be a solid explanation for why he didn’t want to touch her. It’s not like he looked at other girls, he always called her pretty and complimented her looks. Was always okay with cuddling and other platonic stuff.. maybe the kissing was just him trying to make it seem believable. Harry was always around though, sometimes she’d just imagine it was his hair she was carding through, that it was his jaw she was cupping instead of Timmy’s. She loved Timmy, she did, but she wasn’t sexually attracted to him. She tried to be, wanted to be, if he reciprocated maybe she would be? But even having Harry next to her was turning her on. Even hearing him say he didn’t bite unless asked? She could have died, swore she let out a whimper when she shifted. 

“Has he touched you at all?” Harry questioned.

“No, just kissed but like.. nothing crazy.”

“Seriously? He’s holdin’  out on you like that? That’s not fair.” Harry muttered. Fucking crazy. The fact that the guy got one of the hottest girls in school and refused to do anything with her when it was blatantly obvious that she needed a good dicking, more than anything? Negligent, at best. “You said you tried and he’s not into it... what did you try? Was it something weird or just asking?” He was trying to figure this out. “You don’t have to tell me and it’s none of my business but, m’just curious.” He was curious if she was hinting towards Harry taking care of it. Which he would happily do. The poor thing looked like she needed an orgasm more than anything else. He wouldn’t be opposed to a good make out session and finger fuck.

Y/N was surprised by how genuinely shocked he was that nothing was happening between her and Timmy. It made those butterflies spring up in her stomach and go haywire, his tone was suggesting he was curious which was good of course. If he thought she was attractive then... surely she wasn’t the problem. 

“I um...” Y/N was so nervous talking about this stuff, it really wasn’t like her at all. Hearing her say these things out loud made her physically cringe but he did ask. He couldn’t read her mind, could he? “Anytime I’d try to like... grind on him when we kiss and stuff, he’d just stop it.” She explained, feeling her cheeks get all boiling hot again. She regretted wearing a sweater. “I haven’t brought it up to him or anything cause I don’t want him to feel bad.” Y/N was still a sweetheart, she didn’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel inadequate. She’d been with him for three years, that was quite the long time.

“Jesus. That is either some good control or he can’t get hard. If he can’t, he's definitely not straight, babe.” Harry could be positive about that. Any straight man would be like an eager puppy to get between her legs. Harry included, if that was offered up. “M’sorry. That sucks. So you’ve been sexually frustrated for 3 years then?” He shook his head. “Not to be a dick, but how come you haven’t broken up with him yet? He isn’t meeting your needs. Any good man takes care of their girl. It’s just... how it should be.” Harry couldn’t believe this. “Trust me, you’re hot as fuck. Again, sorry if this is crude but— you’ve got the perfect thighs and probably a gorgeous pussy. Can’t imagine a man not wanting to get his mouth or hands on it. Or your tits. M’sure you’re told that often.” Maybe his vulgar speech would deter her but he had a feeling she would love it.

If someone told Y/N she’d be sitting on a bed with her crush while he told her that she had great thighs, tits, and assumed she had a gorgeous pussy, she would have laughed in their face. Harry looked completely serious too, his own eyes had grown dark and Y/N just felt stuck in shock. 

“Yeah..” She squeaked, swallowing thickly as she tried to focus back on the project but she was just staring at the screen. “He’s my best friend.. I care about him and he’s been there for me through a lot I— I couldn’t just do that.” She didn’t have the heart to break up with him. She needed a proper reason, just so she could feel guilt free. Y/N couldn’t just ask him to help her out could she? He had expressed to her how he felt like any good man took care of their girl's needs and well... she wasn’t his girl but oh did she want to be. As far as Y/N knew, he had slept around quite a lot. He thought she was attractive but he probably thought many girls were attractive. Maybe he’d just fuck anything? 

But she’d been thinking about him for so long.

Harry knew that she was avoiding looking at him because she was aroused by his words. She liked what he had to say and how he said it. It was obvious by her reaction. Which did make him smile a bit. She was flushed and biting her lower lip and he wanted to see just how flustered he could get her. 

“I get that. But how great is he if he’s not taking care of a need you obviously are being deprived of.” Harry muttered. Little French shit. He could fight him for that alone. “Are you horny, Y/N?” He asked. His body shifted so he was properly facing her, closer than before.

She really thought she’d be able to hold it together, but when he asked her flat out if she was horny she knew she couldn’t lie anymore. Y/N has fully shown up to do work and now it was looking like she was going to get an orgasm too? That seemed fake, there’s no way. But he had shifted a bit closer to her, completely forgetting about his laptop. Her eyes snapped to look up at him, swallowing thickly before looking back at her laptop. 

“Maybe.” She offered up shyly. She kept glancing up at him and looking away. She was just that nervous. Y/N couldn’t even pretend she felt bad for liking it either. It wasn’t like she hadn’t given Timmy an option, she was positive he probably would be upset... maybe he would be, but— she couldn’t pass this up, she’d been thinking about it for so long.

“Do you want me to take care of you?” Harry couldn’t pass this opportunity up either. Especially because it was a dream. Y/N was exactly his type and he liked her energy. She wasn’t being treated properly by her boyfriend and that wasn’t okay in his book. He knew she would say yes but the whimper made his stomach clench. She was desperate for it. The look on her eyes showed it. His hand came up to feel her face, immediately feeling her cheek lean into his touch. 

“Poor girl. Have been left to fend for yourself for a while. S’not fair to you. Not at all.” He sighed, truly in awe of how any man could let a wet cunt and a woman eager to use it up. “What would you like me to do?” He wanted to coax something out of her. “How worked up are you?”

Y/N’s heart dropped so far it probably fell out of her ass. Hearing him offer to take care of her sent her into a fit of emotions. Her eyes got all floaty, her cunt creating a second heartbeat, her body was naturally leaning towards his and she could have sworn she was dreaming at this point because it was all too good. Of course she agreed, closing her laptop and casting it aside so she could focus on the task at hand. She was far too focused on how good it felt to have his hand on her cheek that she hadn’t registered that he was asking her about what she wanted him to do. Y/N felt her face warm up all over again because she didn’t want to say it outright. It would sound so dirty, she felt like she couldn’t say. She scanned his eyes, waiting for him to say something but he wasn’t letting up. 

“I—I’m really sticky..” She whispered, already feeling shy and embarrassed about all of this. Y/N knew she wasn’t exactly sexy or anything.

Harry knew that she may be embarrassed of how she said things but to him, it was hot. The fact no one else had touched her before and she was going to let him... it was sexy as fuck. Especially because she has a boyfriend who wasn’t up to par with what she wanted.

“S’okay, love. That’s good. Very normal.” He felt himself harden a bit at the visual. “C’mere. Come on my lap.” He motioned for her to straddle him, which she did eagerly. Fuck, this was going to be fun. He was going to teach her some shit. “Why don’t you show me how you like to kiss, sweetheart? Let me see how you want things. Don’t be embarrassed about it either. I promise I’ll find it hot.” He pulled her face down to his and felt his body warm up, her eyes blow and obviously her face warm and eager to get herself touched. “Just kissing for a bit. Then I’ll touch.”’

She wasn’t sure how she was meant to keep her breathing steady when he had so casually just asked her to straddle his lap. Y/N didn’t really think before she moved, surprising even herself with how easily and comfortably she moved into his lap. She felt like everything had gone into slow motion, nodding when he asked her to show him how she liked to kiss. That she could do. 

Y/N was positive he could feel her clench, cunt throbbing at the idea of finally getting to kiss him. She’d been waiting for so long, she felt like she wouldn’t be able to stop once she started. With her face mere centimeters away from his face, she paused for a moment before letting her eyes flutter shut as she leaned in. 

Fuck. 

The pathetic sounding whimpered she released at the feeling had her blushing even harder. Y/N hadn’t made many sounds or answered many of his questions, but that was mostly because she was used to being quiet. This kiss however? God was it perfect. Y/N felt hungry, kissing him with such a desperate need. There was still passion behind it, but she just really wanted him.

Harry could tell this girl was hungry for it. Literally starved for orgasms and he couldn’t help but think about what a damn shame it was that no one had been giving it to her. When her mouth tasted this good and she was so eager and hot in her kisses, he would give her whatever the fuck she wanted. He kissed deep right back, hand wrapping around her hip and pulling her down on to him. She was pleased at that, Harry showing her it was okay to grind. Which, to be honest, may have been a mistake considering how good she was at it. He groaned into her mouth as she rocked and worked her hips, her lips open as she whimpered. 

“S’it good? Think you’re rubbin’ your clit right against my cock like that.” He murmured into her mouth, wanting to talk dirty and see what she would do. What she would respond with.

She couldn’t have imagined it being this good, him kissing her back as if he too had wanted her for all this time. It didn’t feel like this when she kissed Timmy, as awful as it was to say, she was starting to think that maybe Harry was right about him. She was quickly snapped out of those thoughts when his hand pushed her hips down against him. 

“Mmmm” A long whine fell into his mouth, her hips moving at a pretty eager pace. Y/N really wanted to cum. She wanted it so bad she genuinely thought she’d lose it. Of course, she’s made herself cum before, but it felt so different when someone else was involved. Especially that someone being Harry. Y/N felt her cunt throb at the dirty talk. Another pathetic sounding moan fell from her lips and her eyes nearly rolled back in pleasure. “Feels so good.” She whimpered against his lips, desperate for him to touch her. Y/N wasn’t sure what he would do, but having his hands on her? In any way? She would surely lose her mind. She wasn’t sure what to do with her hands, sticking to his shoulder cause it just seemed right to steady herself. Y/N needs something more.

“Good. You can touch me.” Harry gave her the go ahead. “Wherever you want.” She obviously didn’t know how to do it and he wasn’t going to shame her or want to make her feel uncomfortable. Rather, he slid a hand up her skirt, gently lifting it up and getting his hands into her panties. It was arousing to say the least. His hands held her ass, grabbing at it and helping her move her hips. Holding the bare skin, he squeezed and licked into her mouth, feeling her work her cunt harder and hump a little faster against him. Obviously it felt good to her. “Such a perfect ass, baby.” He whispered, giving her a sweet pet name. “So eager for me. So sweet.” He chuckled, moving to kiss at her neck. She was going to lose it and he liked that he was the one doing it.

Funny how things unfolded exactly how Y/N pictured it in her mind. The second she sat down on the bed she was thinking about straddling him and having his hands on her ass and now that’s exactly what they were doing. It felt so fucking good too. Y/N was trying to hold back her whimpers, but Harry didn’t let up. He just kept licking into her mouth, rubbing and squeezing at her ass as if she wasn’t completely losing it in his lap. Her hands hand hesitantly traveled up to his hair, the way she’d do it to Timmy except... he seemed to respond in a much more appropriate way. Harry seemed to like it, liked it a lot based on the hard squeeze he gave her ass. Y/N let out shaky moans when his lips attached to her neck, she couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Please— I need more.” She pleaded, “feels good, but I need more.. please.” Y/N was begging him to touch her. She wouldn’t tell him explicitly, but if he wanted to lay her down and work his fingers against her she’d like that or even if he wanted to put his mouth to work. Anything, she just needed to cum.

“There we go. Love to hear you ask me.” Harry had been waiting for that begging, and he had gotten it. There was a quick switchover, Harry laying her down and gently moving so he was between her thighs. He would start simple. His finger ran over the soaked through cotton of her pink panties, groaning at the sight. “They’re completely soaked.” He hissed, gently pulling them to the side. He couldn’t stop the deep breath that came when he saw her arousal stringing to the panties when he moved it over. “Fuck me. S’sticky all over your panties. I love that.” He has that effect on her, didn’t he? That was the best part. He had done that. He was going to make her feel the best she ever had. Fingers spread her open, a hum of appreciation coming from his mouth. “Just like I knew it. You’ve got the prettiest pussy... so wet... look how swollen your clit is.” He murmured, thumbing over it. It was visible and his mouth was watering. That pressure on her clit alone had the girl jilting under his touch, making him feel satisfied. His thumb rubbed harder in the sensitive part, watching her face scrunch up in pleasure. “So pretty. Fuck. Can’t believe he’s never touched it. Left it for me to play with.”

Thank goodness she was laying down because Y/N was sure she wouldn’t have been able to keep herself up. He had simply lifted her skirt and revealed her panties, he didn’t even think twice. It seemed everything he did just turned her on. She liked that he just took what he wanted but also made sure she was feeling good. Y/N didn’t realize just how wet she was until he started to run his fingers over her and they felt completely slick. Her eyes rolled back, one of her hands gripping at his bed sheets while the other stayed on the nape of his neck tangled into his perfect locks. Her breath hitched, her other hand moving to cover her mouth because she knew she was about to be so fucking loud. Her body practically twitched whenever he rubbed over her swollen clit, his fingers were working magic in her and honestly, she wasn’t even sure if she could do it better herself. 

“Ah!” Y/N whined, her hips bucking up against his touch when she felt herself getting closer. She was so worked up she knew she could cum right then and there if he would let her. Her body was giving it away.

It made Harry all too aware of how stupid Timothée was. He wasn’t touching this cunt? Wasn’t getting these reactions? He had to be gay. There was no other way. 

“You’re so sensitive... fuck.” Harry couldn’t believe she was trusting him. If all people do this to her. It wasn’t like they’d ever been close. They went to each other’s birthday parties in elementary school like all the kids in classes did. But that was about it. Thank god for anatomy. 

“Just relax, love.” He muttered, spreading her legs further as he got comfortable. “This is gonna feel really good. Just do what feels right. Can pull on my hair... be as loud as you want, please. Love to hear I’m going a good job.” He smirked, holding her thighs open as he licked one thick stripe up her cunt.

“Oh— oh my god!” Y/N gasped loudly when she felt his wet tongue on her cunt. Her legs twitched from the pleasure that was spiking now that he was focused in her clit. Her hand traveled down to tug at his hair as suggested, her whole body reacting to his actions. She’d never felt anything like this before, felt like she was dreaming. At first she was a bit shy with the noises she was making, but he clearly didn’t like that, immediately increasing the pressure and speed and sticking to it so that she was a moaning mess for him. Y/N knew that if anyone was home they’d think someone was being tortured but god— it was nothing but sweet sweet pleasure. When Y/N played with herself on her own she never pushed her limits like Harry was doing. She was so sensitive and she knew that, but he was purposely working over her most sensitive spots so she was writhing and twitching beneath him. “Ah— mmmm—“ Y/N whined out, “Harry!” She gasped, feeling herself falling over the edge quite rapidly. Her orgasm hit her like a ton of bricks, it was so incredibly fast she wasn’t ready for that at all. Her moans were high pitched and whiny, her breathing heavy as she tried to get air in her lungs. She held herself back too, felt like she was going to pee on him if he kept going.

Harry kept going. 

If this was her first orgasm by someone else, her first proper orgasm? She was going to get the best one. He knew she was sensitive— could feel it in her shaking thighs, but he was a man of conviction. He went full on, suckling on her clit. The way she was reacting was beautiful, a soundless scream followed by his name and shudders. However— he wasn’t expecting her to squirt. It was the hottest damn thing he had ever experienced in his life. Her first orgasm and she was cumming that hard, Harry pulling back and rubbing her clit hard as she continued to leak. 

“Fuuuuuck, yes. Give it to me, sweetheart.” He groaned. Holy fuck. He hadn’t expected it to turn out like this at all but he wasn’t going to complain.

The sound that escaped her even shocked Y/N. A loud, borderline pained, scream left from her throat and her eyes squeezed shut. Her breathing was shaky, her hands having moved to cover her face because holy fuck was she overwhelmed. It was a lot. Y/N didn’t think it was humanly possible to cum that hard, and he just kept going. She was so sensitive it hurt, especially when he started rubbing on her clit after she seemingly peed on him but, he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she thought he liked it. Y/N was in an endless stream of whimpers and throaty moans, he didn’t seem like he was giving up any time soon and she wasn’t sure if she could handle another. 

“It hurts—” She whimpered out, moving her hands from her face to grip at the pillow behind her. “But it feels so good.” Y/N was completely fucked. So gone for, the hormones and endorphins overcoming her. He seemed to know what he was doing, so she let him continue. She didn’t want him to stop if she was going to keep feeling like this.

“God, you’re so good. Letting me do whatever I want... we’re so deprived before, weren’t you?” Harry was shocked. The fact she was letting him continue, shaking but loving every bit? He was happy. Damn. Finally, a girl who could keep up with him and she had to be taken. “You okay?” He asked, rubbing his thumb over her clit lazily. His mouth had kissed at her thighs, biting down gently on one. “Hm.. can I mark here?” It wasn’t like her boyfriend was gonna see it. “And you don’t mind if I get myself off, do you?” He wanted to cum on her thighs or her stomach. His cock ached in his pants and he had no problem just getting her off, but he needed to cum. Of course he wouldn’t ask her to do anything, though. Despite it all, he respected her. She was a good girl. He was tainting her a bit but, she was happy to be tainted.

Y/N nodded her head to let him know she was okay, but he didn’t seem happy with her nodding, he wanted an answer. “Yes.” She whimpered out an answer to all of the things that he asked, still breathing shakily and twitching whenever the tension built up enough. The slow rubbing on her clit was still bringing her lots of pleasure, it made her want to cum again and that freaked her out. Could she really take that much? She’d never seen a cock in person before. Only even in porn but she didn’t watch that either because it made her feel yucky. Y/N swallowed thickly, seeing just how big he was. Holy shit. That was meant to fit inside someone? She already had trouble sticking her fingers in, but that? However, she was interested in watching him. Y/N watched him with loopy eyes, knowing for a fact she’d worship him after this. If he let her come back for more she happily would. Hell, she’d follow him around like a puppy if he kept making her feel like this.

It was probably the hottest hook up Harry’s ever had. Truth be told. He was in shock that Y/N was so needy for it and the fact she had let him be the one to play with her, to get her off, it was astonishing. There was nothing hotter than watching her legs open and pussy pulsing a bit from the intensity of her orgasms. 

“Mmm... you’re fucking hot.” Harry hissed, stroking himself as he bit down on her thigh. She let out a yelp that turned into a whine as he sucked a mark on to the softness of it, smirking when she rutted into his finger. After that though, he decided to take things up. “M’not gonna go in. Just... relax.” He rested himself against her cunt and rubbed the tip against her clit as he stroked himself heavily, hissing when her slickness covered him. It made it easy to stroke. “Jesus, you’re good. Feels good, hm? Better than your own fingers?” He knew it was. She looked fucked out, hips bucking into his own as he approached his own orgasm. Would it be too far to cum on her cunt? “Can I... fuck, can I cum on your cunt?” He had originally wanted her tummy or her thighs but seeing his cock against her now... he felt a bit primal.

Y/N had never expected this. This was the farthest she’d gone with anyone and the fact that it was with the guy that she’d been fantasizing about for years? It felt so unreal, definitely added to the intensity of her orgasms. Having him mark her? In a place where she’d be the only one to find it? That made her cunt throb. He started rubbing himself on her and she felt like that was a whole other level of horny. He felt so good against her, Y/N didn’t think she was that hot but Harry seemed to think so and that was enough to get her to feel confident enough to answer him with her full voice when he asked to cum on her cunt. 

“Yeah... you can cum on me..” Y/N didn’t have it in her to say cunt yet, but baby steps nonetheless. Harry was so hot, he looked so good above her. They weren’t even naked, just their lower halves, which in a way made it hotter because they were just that needy. His face was still slick with her, and that was something she couldn’t get over. 

It was apparent that Y/N didn’t know just how hot she was and that was a goddamn shame in Harry’s opinion. Because she was. She was so hot and he was sure that this wasn’t going to be the only time they had fun. 

“Fuck.. fuck.” He hissed as he began to cum on her. There was nothing like watching his cum stripe over her, soiling it with the white cream. It only made his orgasm better, a groan leaving him as he ran his cock through the slit and pressed against her clit again. “Fuck me, that’s so hot.” He whispered, mouth open at just how good it looked. When he saw her gawking at it, her tits moving under the fabric of her top, he smirked. “Want to taste it?” He ran two fingers through the mess.

Watching Harry cum was definitely the hottest thing Y/N had ever seen, the sounds he released and his scrunched up face was enough to make her shudder. On top of that, the feeling of hot cum ribboning over her cunt was something that she again couldn’t explain. It felt good, satisfying, especially because he seemed to be dying over it.

“Yes.”

It was a quiet squeak of an answer but it was an answer. Y/N was curious, she wanted to know what he tasted like and had a feeling that he too wanted her to try. If she didn’t like it she’d pretend to like it, but holy fuck she did actually like it. It was salty, a strange texture, but definitely not the worst thing she’d ever had in her mouth. It had its own taste, but she enjoyed that. Her mouth was wrapped around his fingers, gently licking and sucking the cum off his fingers while watching his eyes. He seemed to like this a lot too. Y/N was learning quite a bit, mostly that Timmy was definitely gay. But she didn’t just want to confront him like that that wouldn’t be fair. As soon as she was done, Harry kissed her again. This time it was more gentle than before. A kiss of appreciation. That was some good shit. Harry hadn’t been with someone who was a virgin and didn’t realize how horny they got— maybe it was just Y/N, though. He could have been having this and he didn’t. 

It was a good thing for Harry though. He got to have what he wanted and while he knew that was a lot, he didn’t really care that he could potentially hurt his feelings. He had made Y/N feel inadequate anyways. 

“Let me clean you up.” He murmured, smiling when she pouted when he pulled away. He was gentle with it, wiping her clean with tissues next to his bed. When she jumped, he chuckled. 

“Sensitive, I know.” He was smug about it though. Yes. He had done that. Though it was a shame she was too sensitive to clean it with his tongue. He would have been down.

The kiss was definitely something that Y/N needed. It was a nice little reminder that Harry was a gentleman and that she hadn’t just gone and done stuff with someone who was a complete asshole. Y/N always knew that Harry was a good guy, sure she’d heard rumors about him and knew he had gotten around and did drugs, but never had she heard about him being mean. Even when cleaning her up he was gentle, but of course she felt all shy again because she was laying fully exposed in front of the guy she had a crush on who had just made her cum three times within the span of 20 minutes. It was a lot. She’d completely forgotten about the fact that she was here to do an anatomy project. Y/N stayed quiet for the most part, letting him clean her up. Once she was finished she slipped on her panties again, though it felt quite dirty because they were still soaking wet. She’d need to take a shower when she got home. “Thank you.” She told him, feeling herself blush all over again.

“You’re welcome. Do you want a pair of boxers or something to wear instead of your panties?” Harry didn’t want her to be uncomfortable. At the relieved look on her face, he chuckled and went to his drawer, grabbing his smaller pair. “Here. May be big on you but, better than being uncomfortable.” He threw them to her and grabbed his water bottle, taking a sip before sitting down. “Want to do this project then?” Now that the sexual tension was at least fixed for a bit, he was happy to get to work. He wanted to see her get a good grade too. It didn’t have to be weird. 

“Oh, thanks.” Y/N smiled bashfully and stood up to change into them. There was no need for her to be all shy about it anymore. Y/N put her dirty panties to the side, taking a sip of her water bottle as well because lord knows she needed up. She was definitely a lot looser after their little activities, much more relaxed and open to talking and working. 

It really did feel better after they'd fucked around. Harry noticed that Y/N was more loose and seemed to feel more at ease now that he’s had his mouth on her pussy. They’d done a bit today and he was sure he would be on her mind for a long time after she left, which made him smug. 

----

They were finishing up when he asked for her number. “Put yours in. Dunno if you want to do this again but... I wouldn’t mind.” Harry would love it.

Y/N was already thinking about doing this again. Now that all her initial nerves were out of the way, she felt like I’d be easier for her to do things with him. She’d probably never initiate it again like this until she was this desperate, but whenever he wanted her again, if he did, she’d happily come over. She typed in her number and texted herself.

“The project or?” Y/N was a bit stupid sometimes, she didn’t want to assume he wanted to but based on the look on his face she figured he meant the other thing. “Oh, yeah— I um... I’d like that very much.” She said and finished putting her stuff away. “Thanks again... I’ll see you.” Y/N spoke when he walked her down the stairs and out the door. 

She’d left her panties in his room.

He had come upstairs to find the lovely gift that was left. Sure, it wasn’t on purpose but it was his now. He’d let her know that. They smelled like her and damn, it was good. Stuffed in his side drawer, he sat and absorbed the whole thing. Maybe he should feel guilt for having her cheat. But she needed it. The poor girl was nearly frothing at the mouth with need for sexual release and something about him tickled her. He couldn’t say no to that. Especially when she was so excited to do it and so responsive. 

Later that night he texted her. 

‘Hey, it’s Harry’

‘Did you want to come over again on Friday and work?’ He snickered at that. They’d work but... he knew by Friday she would be wanting more. 

‘Also, appreciate the gift you left. They’re lovely. Xx’ He sent a picture of the waistband of the panties in his hand.

On the bike ride home Y/N felt herself whimper every time she went over a bump. Harry had definitely done a number on her and she couldn’t have been more thankful. She texted Timmy when she got home, asking him about how he was and how his day was as usual though, she was surprised she didn’t feel really guilty. By the time she had showered and freshened up, she saw that she’d received texts back from both of them, but of course she wanted to answer Harry’s first. 

‘Hii! yeah, I can do that!’

‘oh my god 🤭’

She left them at his house? Fuck. She should have just put them in her bag but... she did have his boxers, so it didn’t really matter did it? Timmy had texted her back responding with how his day went saying he was super busy getting ready for his re-election campaign. It was his way of saying they wouldn’t really be able to hang out. She told him that she was sad but that she’d see him at school. Realistically she knew she needed to talk to him, but she wanted him to be able to tell her I’m his own time. She’d stop trying to have sex with him, only if he tried though.

‘I’ll be having fun with them. They’re in great hands. Don’t worry.’

He was smug about it for sure. But still, he couldn’t help but feel beyond happy about it because perhaps he had found a new person to fuck around with. Sure, he liked hook ups at parties but he had wanted a designated person to be around and fuck with. And Y/N was a cool chick. He hadn’t paid too much attention to her before, only to notice she was hot and also questioning why she was dating that kid. But the closer he got, the hotter she was. And fun to be around after she chilled out. She hadn’t mentioned being surprised by his room and the kind of nerdy star stuff in it. So he liked her a bit more for that. 

‘Good. Come over on Friday and we can work late. My dad’s away and my mom is on her book tour shit, so we’ll be alone, if that’s cool w you?’

Was he? He was flirting a bit wasn’t he? Y/N wasn’t exactly sure but him suggesting that his parents would be away and that they would be alone in his house again made butterflies erupt in her stomach. She was really excited to see his cats again and hang out, they’d likely finish another part of their project and likely fuck around a bit and that made her nervous all over again. 

‘Okaaay sounds good :) ’

She set her phone on her stomach and just looked up at the ceiling. Holy shit. Y/N couldn’t wait for Friday now, excited to see what else he’d have in store for her. She was simply excited to get to know him a bit more, he was hiding a lot of stuff from people from school. Of course she noticed all the astronomy shit in his room, saw the tons of books that he had with sticky notes showing they were clearly annotated. There was a lot more to him than met the eye.

---------------------------------------

[part 2]

A/N: Without giving too much away, yes, skater boy harry is bi and is whore for astronomy but we’ll get into that later ;) - n+d

let us know what you think!

masterlist

[rueluxprince]

Code Geass: Akito the Exiled review:

The thing about Lelouch is that he is hyper competent to the point of being overpowered. Give him an army and he’s very hard pressed to lose. The writers in the original series had to throw curveballs left and right at him (mostly a Suzaku in a Lancelot, then it’s metaphysical Geass nonsense, then it’s nuclear warheads), just to curb Lelouch’s trajectory somewhat. We know what he’s capable of. He conquers the world by the end of the series for god’s sake. So when you put him into literally any prequel/sequel adjacent Code Geass plot-line that is not solely about him, you have to do some severe writing gymnastics to not have Lelouch bulldoze over the entire story.

Case in point: Julius Kingsley.

By the time Julius Kingsley is introduced in Akito the Exiled, we have already established our central conflict. On one side is Akito and the Euro-Universe and that rag tag group of soldiers, on the other is Shin Hyuga Shiang and Euro-Britannia. One side is good the other is bad. There’s angsty interpersonal relationships between the two sides, more metaphysical Geass nonsense is introduced, a lot of EU political intrigue is there too. We know our two sides, we know what they are capable of, game set go.

Except Lelouch and Suzaku gets airdropped right in the middle of it. Because fanservice. The creators are basically saying: “if you keep on watching this movie series about a bunch of random Europeans whom you’ve never met and don’t really care much about. We will give you: Lelouch being an absolute Magnificent Bastard. Suzaku as Knight of Seven but on Lelouch’s “side”. Lelouch fighting for Britannia because we know y’all have been writing a lot of “What if Lelouch remained a prince” fan-fictions and this should satisfy you at least a little. All done in newer animation and in High Definition. So watch the series please!” And we all went, yeah okay we’ll watch the series.

And the writers ran into a problem immediately as Julius Kingsley got going. A massive problem. Because if Julius Kingsley is going to be as brilliant as Lelouch, and he will, because he is Lelouch, then Kingsley is going to wipe the chessboard clean all by himself. Lelouch has proven himself to be Greatest Of All Time. He is going to defeat Akito and Leila’s forces, Akito has a Geass that makes him go berserk? Well Kingsley has Suzaku “I have the enemy battalion surrounded by my one Knightmare” Kururugi. Then, as Shin starts wilding with his whole kill-everyone-and-their-mom thing, stomp down his coup as well. Shin has a Geass that exclusively kills people well Julius also has a Geass that can kill people, and a brilliant strategic mind, and unilateral authority to do whatever the fuck he wants. He’s going to takeover Euro-Britannia and overhaul it’s entire bureaucracy just to wrap it up in a pretty little bow for the Emperor.

The story thus becomes useless. You’ve wasted two movies worth of character establishment and animation. Julius Kingsley will get out under your pen and he will make the world his.

And so the writers quickly nerfs him twenty minutes in. Y’all got a small sip of Lelouch being brilliant! That’s enough now! He’s going to have a mental breakdown due to mindfuckery bullshit and be taken out of the story! Because he’s too powerful otherwise! Thank you for your patronage! Goodbye! Which leaves the audience feeling cheated and unfulfilled and very very bewildered.

So we are in a double bind. I want to see exclusively Lelouch being the brilliant asshole he is. The creators want to tell a story with these new characters. No one is satisfied in the end.

(Side note 1: Same thing happened with the new Ressurection movie. Lelouch has Cornelia, both Suzaku and Kallen, Anya and Jeremiah and Sayoko and Llyod and Cecile. He can take over a nation half awake with those powerhouses behind him. And so the writers gave Shamna an overpowered Geass that can “see six hours into the future” just to even the playing field. Else the fight would’ve been over in twenty minutes.)

(Side note 2: Yeah I know that Julius can’t use his Geass, but hey, you could get Suzaku to jump in front of him if Shin orders Julius to die, taking the order. It would serve so many different narative purposes. 1. who’s absolute command is stronger, Lelouch’s live on or Shin’s die now. Battle of the Geass. 2. serves as a metaphor for Suzaku’s inner turmoil, he wants to die but everyone he loves wants him to live and how does he reconcile that. 3. shows that even when Suzaku hates Lelouch with his entire being, he would still die for him.)

(Side note 3: I mean, it’s not a bad story if Julius gets out under the writers and bulldoze over the entire story. It’s honestly a great way to show how brilliant a commander Leila could be. She could go underground to preserve her forces so our group of war orphan pilots survive, or orchestrate political turmoil in Euro-Britannia to keep Kingsley off her back, or divert his military forces away from her E.U. and into Africa. Kingsley is an unstoppable force but it does not mean it will be a bad ending.)

(Side note 4: how would this series end in this half meta half headcanon? Kingsley takes back Euro-Britannia from Shin and gets most of Northern Africa from the E.U., before the Emperor calls him off with a Zoom call. He is also informed that he is needed urgently back in Pendragon, and would be flying back the day before the victory parade in St. Petersburg. Julius is so excited to see the emperor he doesn’t even feel bumbed that he’s going to miss the chanting crowds he’s been promised. He goes into the throne room, and we are treated to a disturbingly heartwarming scene between Emperor Charles and Julius. Like, Charles going full “I’m glad you’ve returned safe and sound. I’m very proud of you. You’ve brought me honor” fond father mode. And Julius is almost deliriously happy to hear it. Then the emperor goes “your reward. The dukedom of [insert place name here]. And some rest. You’ve worked hard these past months Julius. You deserve both.” Then he activates his Geass, and Julius Kingsley collapses before he could get a word of protest out. Suzaku catches him. Last shot is Suzaku cradling Kingsley’s prone form, staring at his eyepatch. Credits.)

[wisteria-lodge]

snake primary + slightly burnt snake secondary (some kind of built secondary model)

Hi hi hi!! Hope you’re well!! So tell me, is there a way to tell whether you’re a lion or a snake secondary beyond the actual “textbook” definitions? I think I’m pretty burnt, and I’m on my way to fixing that, but it would help to know where I’m supposed to be heading lol

(Btw, I’m a Sam coded Dean girl. I don’t think it’s relevant I just thought that system was both useful and hilarious and I’m so glad you posted that)

I also really liked how that turned out.

I’m pretty sure I’m an improv secondary. I think I’m bad at it, hence the burning, but it’s what comes naturally to me and what I would feel most proud of.

I end up planning for a bunch of things, and in some cases I don’t hate it.

Damning with faint praise.

Like if I’m giving a presentation, I open a word document and write down what I’m gonna say verbatim, even the language tics and pauses and hesitations and such, so it’s like I’m actually living it. Then I repeat the whole thing multiple times, amending it whenever I change something, until I feel like I’ve sort of gone through the experience already.

That is… the weirdest way of hacking an improvisational secondary. Because that’s what’s you’re doing. Improvisational secondaries need to be “in it,” so you get as close to that as possible in the prep work.

Then I scrap the whole thing and improvise when it’s actually happening – the result is often pretty different from the word doc

of course.

but I’m a bit more in my element because I’ve done it already and I know I can do it.

This is honestly a really good strategy to make yourself more comfortable with improvising? I can tell you’re unBurning, this feels very much like… training wheels, to me. Heck, I think I would recommend your method to another burnt Improvisational secondary.

I’m not sure, but I think that sort of thing is more built than improv?

Like, kind of? I’m autism spectum, and when I was younger I built a Bird model to help me feel more confident accessing my Courtier Badger. That’s what this feels like.

But I definitely feel like it’s a model I’ve developed to deal with social anxiety and my fear of failure lol. I didn’t do stuff like that before it got bad, and if I could deal with not doing it, I would.

I hear that.

In most other situations, though, I tend to jump right in and go with the flow. I really don’t think very far ahead. I guess I can if I try, when it’s just a matter of logic, but things like my life plans, my relationships, or even more short-term things like plans with friends or what I’m gonna eat or how I’m gonna deal with a task, I really can’t project into the future. I can’t really make decisions or see a situation clearly until I’m in it. Then I tend to make decisions very quickly, kind of on instinct, or whatever feels right in the moment.

You’re definitely an improvisational secondary.

(Actually maybe that’s a primary thing? I’m a snake primary, but I do have a very prominent lion model, and a bit of badger as well.)

Nah, that’s definitely an Improvisational secondary thing. I am curious about your primary though, because you say you don’t have too much in the way of life plans… and *that* is more where a primary would come in. You feel like a safe Snake to me (that is, a Snake whose people are safe) so there is a little bit of… what now? What is the Lion+Badger model you wear over the top interested in?

Point is, I prefer being spontaneous, even if it’s something important. Making plans and having to stick to them makes me feel trapped. I’m not the most constant person, and I like that about me. I want to have room to grow and change, even for the smallest things.

Completely, entirely fair.

Anyway, I feel like I’ve talked more about limitations and things I don’t want so far, but I guess that’s a burnt thing.

I mean, sure you’re a little underconfident, but you seem pretty far along to me.

I’ve seen you mention what’s really useful in determining a secondary is what you actually enjoy, so here goes. I like being in the moment, and I like being able to come up with ideas and solutions on the fly, by taking in the situation and using it to my advantage.

That’s very Snake secondary sounding language.

I think there’s a bit of a separation in my mind between “people things” and “being clever things.”

For “being clever things” (like… I don’t know, an escape room, a problem with an administration, a paper I have to write, video games, some kind of mystery…) I like to rely on being observant and quick-thinking, and if I can find loopholes or outsmart whoever I’m facing to win in an unexpected way, that’s even better (but really more for my ego than anything else, I guess finding the “normal” solution is okay, as long as you get there, it’s just less fun).

Hilarious. Yeah, you sound like a *confident* Snake secondary to me.

For “people things” (drama with family or friends, or if someone is being an ass, or if someone comes to me for advice on interpersonal things), I prioritize being straightforward and honest. If I have time to plan or if I’m giving advice, I might come up with something more sneaky and elaborate, but if I’m in the moment, I’m most likely to be really confrontational, stubborn and unyielding, even if it makes things more difficult for me.

Hmm. I am reading this as a Snake who likes being Neutral - especially those words “stubborn” and “unyielding.” There’s a reason Neutral Snakes are called “the unmovable object.”

If I catch myself, I try to avoid it, but that just means staying silent and removing myself from the situation – I can’t bring myself to make compromises if it feels like I’m betraying myself.

Okay, now that’s sounding more Lion.

To be clear, that’s almost exclusively with people I’m close to, or who are supposed to “know me”.

Oh okay. This is your secondary interacting with your primary. Actively lying to and misrepresenting yourself to Your People would be immoral to a Snake Primary.

With friends who aren’t in my inner circle, or acquaintances, or complete strangers, or authority figures, I might get upset internally if I’m perceiving a slight or injustice, but I can keep up the mask I need no problem. That being said, I don’t have a lot of patience for drama, so if whatever it is can’t be quickly resolved with a convenient lie or saying what works for me in a way they won’t mind hearing, I just stick to what I’m actually thinking and/or my neutral state (I’m not sure it’s accurate to use snake language here, but it feels like it and it’s convenient).

I think it’s highly appropriate and accurate. All that is reading very Snake.

I’ve seen a bunch of people say lion and snake secondaries are sort of at odds with each other, but I don’t really get the contradiction between them yet (as in, I don’t see why people can’t be both those “contradictory” things at the same time). I do mask a lot, and I enjoy it – I think it’s rewarding, and honestly it just makes sense – it’s what works best in that moment, and it feels natural to shift that way. I just don’t feel it’s a misrepresentation. The whole “it’s not cheating, it’s being clever” thing just feels a little too dishonest. Cheating is cheating, no need to be so smug about it. It’s not wrong, though, at least not always. If it’s hurting someone who doesn’t deserve it, then it’s wrong (might still do it if the alternative is worse, but that doesn’t mean it’s suddenly an ethical choice to make, it just means I’m okay with being immoral in that instance).

All that being said, I don’t think masking is being dishonest about yourself. I don’t think anything that comes out of my mind is “not me”, it just doesn’t work that way. The personas I have with different groups or people in my life are all genuine, it’s just that different sides of me are brought up. And if I’m acting in a way that’s actually not genuine, that mask is still my creation – if someone else were to come up with a mask for that same situation, it would be different, because their mind works differently. Everything you do is a reflection of yourself, and even if you were to try your best to be honest all the time, you’d never be able to show your true and complete self to someone else. You can’t even see that yourself.

Oh man. This is why I love writing these, and this is what I mean about Lion and Snake being so incomprehensible to each other. Because Lions fundamentally do not think this way, every word here is dripping with Snake.

It might be helpful to think of Lions as static. That’s how Shakespeare (who definitely seems like a Snake secondary…) writes about them, and he sees them as sort of tragic. Lions really do have a “core” persona that feels more true than all the others, and they really do exist in it as much as they possibly can. And feel good and moral about doing that.

And a mask’s point may be to deceive or to gain something, but being blunt and straightforward can be used in that way too.

You are literally thinking of “common Lion secondary presentation” as another useful mask, and it’s so Snake, and so fantastic.

I’m thinking this sounds more snake than anything else, so I’ll focus on why I thought I might be a lion too now. I guess the reason I’m on the fence is because these two are presented as “either you think the only way is through, or you’re looking for a way around it”, and I’m not comfortable saying I favor either.

That is *a* way to think about the two secondaries. But those are symptoms, not causes. The reason a Lion secondary feels that the only way out is though is because a Lion secondary must be themselves, or die.

My first thought was to say that I get more satisfaction from finding ways around a problem because it makes me feel cleverer and it’s more fun, but that’s because I’m zeroing in on certain types of situations (people giving me some intellectual challenge, debates, or video games). But there were also a lot of times where I stuck it out and kept going with pigheaded stubbornness, and got a lot more satisfaction out of that (physical challenges like obstacle courses, disagreements with my parents, winning over certain people).

Here’s where I think the confusion is. You’re a Snake secondary, and one of your masks looks very Lion. Note how you talk about using this “pigheadedness” with certain people, who you know will respond well to it.

In fact, I remember my father telling me one day “yeah, you’re never here to compromise, you just make decisions and inform us, and keep going while you wait for us to accept reality,“ and I actually can’t describe how proud and smug I was about that. Kind of insufferable, but I just get so euphoric when people see right through me and show they get me, even if it’s about the more annoying or bad parts of me.

I think that’s just a human thing. The mortifying ideal of being known is how you feel loved.

I remember a conversation I had with my ex after we broke up where she cut right through all my bullshit and discarded my whole mask to get right to my inner self and the core of certain issues, and even though I was still mad and upset, and kind of embarrassed that she could see me being vulnerable, I couldn’t help but be happy about it, because I felt known.

Yeah. <3

I don’t interact much with people outside of my inner circle, so I can’t tell if it’s entirely specific to them, but I really vibe with the “honesty is their strength” part of being a lion. That’s why my people trust me and rely on me so much, because even though they know how sneaky I can get and how fun I think tricking people is, they also know I default to telling the truth and saying what’s on my mind more often than not, because they’re my people.

I think that, as a Snake primary who mostly only interacts with Your People, you’re in a kind of unusual position. I know that the presentation of a Snake who feels safe can be blunter, can be more Lion-y. My experience with Snakes is… yeah, sometimes I know I’m being manipulated, or having my buttons pushed in a specific way. But I’m fine with it, because I’m one of their people, and I know they would never hurt me. That’s where the certainty is coming from.

Then again, I also have a “it’s not lying unless they’re entitled to the truth” attitude with basically everyone else. I just don’t think some people deserve to know me that way.

snaaaake

(lions are going to take the truth and PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE with it, and if you can’t deal that’s YOUR PROBLEM)

And “ideally”, as in, if I didn’t have anxiety and a bunch of other issues, I still don’t think I’d just be neutral all the time. Sounds boring. And inconvenient.

Snake secondaries are great.

Ahhh, should I even post this? I feel like my whole thought process before this moment of introspection was “so I really vibe with snake, but I’m also hotheaded and a bit of a bitch, so I MUST be a lion, right” lmao. I just think I’m a straight up double snake at this point.

Yep.

Oof, a long way from my original lion bird sorting back when I first discovered SHC hahaha

Yeah, I used to think I was a Badger Bird.

(For the record, I’m writing this in a word doc, and it’s almost 2k now. I haven’t checked how long these normally are, so I’m really sorry if this is too long!!! I’m like physically incapable of being concise I’m so sorry)

Sometimes I edit or re-arrange these slightly for a cleaning reading experience, but I’m having fun. I was engaged all the way though.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for doing these!! They’re super interesting and I’m sure it helps people a lot, and also it���s really cool to see how different people think. I’m a socially-challenged writer, so it’s useful to have that bit of insight into other people’s minds. Love ya <3 <3 <3

[kerwritesthings]

Orange Blossom At The Bottom Of A Shot Glass

Summary: Salty is followed by sour, which should always be followed by sweet. 

Word Count: almost 3.7k

Warning: little cursing, little sexual tension, a bunch of sweet and fluff

Author Notes: ::taps on mic:: Soooo it’s been a GOOD while. The muse has been a little bit of a fickle bitch. Or a lot of one, actually. Also didn’t help that the last piece I wrote totally went a hard boom splat - gee thanks tall idiot Canadian one for that :P

HOWEVER, the muse decided to let go with some of the hockey boys and me play with some words for J’s Winter Writing Challenge. I’m just one day off deadline, though I still want to fill the other 1-2 I was thinking of. Thank you J for pulling this all together, you’re a peach. 

This one, is the first attempt at writing Tyler, so please be kind to a girl. It was fun to play in this little part of my hockeysphere/hockeyblr. 

I’m also maybe possibly most likely making this into a verse/series. Cause y’all should know that’s how I roll. 

The prompt from the challenge was:  “Take another step and I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”

“From the cute one in the three piece purple suit at the end of the bar, said to get you another of whatever you’re drinking,” Misty says, sliding the half-sugar rimmed martini glass across the copper bar top. “Wouldn’t even entertain doing this if I didn’t know most of them.”

“Thanks Mis,” you smile, pushing your empty glass towards her.

You peek down slyly towards the right. A gaggle of tall, well dressed men circle the far end. You think some look familiar. Then you see who Misty meant when he turns towards the front of the bar and towards where you’re sitting. You know straightaway who he is, know the reputation, the rumblings. It’s hard not to, as big as Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex is, it’s not at the same time. It also helps that you’ve been a hockey fan since birth, paying attention to the boys in green since you moved to Dallas a handful of years ago.

“Misty are you fucking kidding me?” you snap when she wanders back towards you.

“Nope,” she grins like the cat who got the canary. “You should go over and say thank you. Promise you, you may think you know, but he’s a good guy. The lot of them are.”

You shake your head no, downing half your drink in one sip before wiping your finger against the glass to lick at some of the sanding sugar. Misty’s blood orange martinis are your favorite, and a weakness you cannot kick when she’s got the good stuff in stock.

“Give me a blank tabcard and a pen,” you ask. “How many of them are down there? Do a round of shots on my bill, but lemme think of what to send while I write this.”

Misty places one of her pens, a card and your Visa to the right of your cocktail. You carefully fold the card in half, tearing it in two. On one half you cleanly script out your name and cell number while on the second half, you write a cheeky little note:

If you can figure out what the shot is, Misty has something for you. Thanks for the martini, the second always hits better especially when you lick the sugar rim.

“Mis, do you know how to make a reckless slut?” you snicker, capping the pen.

“Red-headed slut, but with whiskey instead of Jaeger yeah?” she questions, looking underneath the bar for a bigger, clean cocktail shaker.

“Honey whiskey if you’ve got it,” you respond, polishing off the rest of your martini before gathering your things. “Then it’s just a touch lighter on the peach. If he can guess it right, then you give him the second half of the note.”

“You got it, I’ll see you,” she waves, off to the middle of the bar to find more ingredients.

You carefully glance down towards the opposite end, noticing the boys all wrapped up so you carefully slip out to make your exit, smiling and shaking your head.

“I’m absolutely insane,” you say out loud to yourself as you head towards your car.

“Segs, my girl left this for you and a round on her for the rest of the motley crew,” Misty explains, slipping him the first card before handing out the shot glasses.

“What she say?” Jamie nudges.

“Other than I missed her licking the rim of her glass?” he chides. “I need to guess what this is and then Misty has something for me, supposedly.”

“I do,” Misty replies, handing the rest of the shots out. “She picked a bit of a good one to leave for you too. Cheers boys, bellow if you need anything.”

He lifts the glass, sniffing it at first, not having any clue.

“J, Rads you guys have any idea?” Tyler asks, they both shake their head.

“Bottoms up,” Jamie adds before they all tip the shots back.

“Anybody?” Tyler pushes again, glasses clicking on the copper.

“I know,” a voice chimes in from the back, dropping the empty shot glass onto the bar.

“Come on then Dicky,” Tyler urges.

He looks at Tyler, trying to hold back a laugh but it doesn’t work.

“It’s a reckless slut,” he manages out between his laughter. “It’s something else dark in place of Jägermeister. Slightly fitting, eh?”

The group busts out in hoops, hollers and their own peals of laughter while Tyler shoves at the one closest to him, this time it’s Alex.

“Whiskey, honey whiskey actually, so nice one there Jason. Winner gets this,” Misty trills happily, wiggling a card in front of the group.

“Hey, wait a second,” Tyler snaps, trying to lean over to snatch the card from the bartender.

“That’s the rules she set,” she says, flicking the card over to his teammate. “Take it up with him, he got it right.”

“What’s it worth?” Jason grins, fist bumping with Misty before turning more towards Tyler.

“Not whatever you’re scheming in that brain of yours,” he takes a pull off his beer.

“I was just gonna say take care of dinner tonight, but if it’s not worth that,” Jason trails off.

“Damnit Dicky,” he sighs, hand flexing around the bottle.

“Let’s go boys, they’re ready for us,” Joe interjects from the outskirts of the group, nodding to the back dining room. “And we like it here so no bloodshed, ok?”

You’re just about to slip the key into your front door lock when your phone buzzes in quick repeated blips. You juggle everything in, snag a bottle of water from the fridge before plopping down on the couch to see what has your phone trilling.

So, Tyler didn’t win the challenge, I did and Misty followed the rules passing it to the winner! Hi, I’m Jason.

::selfie of Jason with the boys scattered about behind him at the bar::

I’m refusing for a bit to give him your number. Want to spare and maybe prepare you before I do. Plus, it’s fun to watch him squirm for a bit when it comes to shit like this.

The reckless slut shot was a nice touch, so I’m hopeful in assuming when you spotted us, him really, you kind of knew who was all down at that end of the bar. Probably have heard some things about his adventures and antics, cause who hasn’t.

I can tell you most of it is blown out of proportion, don’t get me wrong he has his fun, but he’s not an asshole.

Maybe we can all do lunch after practice? I’m happy to play buffer if you don’t want to deal with him solo. We’ll go somewhere solid and make him pick it up :)

You cannot help but smile when flipping through the messages, making sure to save both Jason’s number and ridiculous selfie to your contacts list. You fire off a quick thanks text to Misty before you settle in to figure out the best reply to Jason.

You’re a good teammate and a better friend. I would also make him squirm for a bit too, little shit deserves a bit of discomfort.

I appreciate that, Jason – thank you. I know better than to judge a book by its cover, but it’s hard when the Cliffs Notes versions are face up all over the place. Plus, a lady can never be too careful.

Want to try lunch next week, the three of us? I can’t remember what your upcoming game sitch is like, sorry. Maybe PS214? Something good that’s not too fussy, but chill. Plus, they should have enough options for whatever your nutritionist wants you boys to try to stick to or options to totally cheat out on.

I’ve got some flex in my schedule for lunches, my later afternoons get to be what’s stickier.

You know they were having a team dinner, so you don’t expect a response right away, so you pull yourself together to wash up and get to bed. You wake up to a flurry of more texts the next morning, plans for lunch Monday their practice and a video clip of the two of them, which was utterly ridiculous and adorable at the same time. It eased your tensions just a touch, but lunch would be the kicker.

“There’s my favorite foodie,” Phil the manager says, hugging you immediately. “I was so happy to see your name on the reservations. Is this a work thing or a pleasure thing?”

“Little of both, I’ve got two possibly three of Dallas’ favorite hockey team joining me which is why I asked about the back-corner alcove,” you explain. “But I also want to taste some of the new things you’ve been floating both at the bar and on the menu. Nothing formal yet, but I’m thinking of trying to pull together something around new happy hour approaches.”

“I think one of your lunch companions just walked in,” Phil responds, as you catch someone walking towards the two of you from the corner of your eye. “I know him and his wife, they’ve been in a few times. Hey Jason, nice to see you.”

“Hey Phil, wasn’t sure if you’d be here, good to see you. You’ve met one half of my lunch date already?” he shakes Phil’s hand before reaching for yours.

“She and I run in the same circles, mutual friends, some projects that have crossed paths,” Phil adds. “We’re waiting on one more, yes?”

His phone trills, “It’s Segs, he’s parking now and apologized for being late. He had to let the pups out because his dog sitter couldn’t get there early today.”

“I was early, force of habit, so no worries,” you reply. “He’s going to be pretty much on time in the grand scheme. Plus, I got some actual work done talking to Phil before you got here, so it’s all good.”

“Jason, you best not be trying to steal her from me already,” Tyler claps his shoulder before setting his eyes on you. “You’ve got someone waiting for you at home.”

You can’t help but half roll your eyes and half chuckle, “Nice to officially meet you, Tyler.”

He reaches out, his hand easily dwarfs yours, “You too, Clementine.”

“If you are all ready, we’ve got the table you asked for set,” Phil nods to the right, into the dining room.

“You were mentioning your work when I came in?” Tyler questions as you all sit down.

“I guess you could say I’m a lifestyle writer, mostly food and drink but I’ve dabbled in some travel,” you say. “I started out with my own blog back when I was in college trying to figure out what I wanted to do with life and it kind of got a following from there. I refuse to say influencer, cause no I’m not. Not my schtick. Actual writing pays the bills, not sponsored Instagram or blog posts. I refused to let my baby No Fork become something tainted like that, I think why it became so successful.”

“Wait, wait. You’re A Girl With No Fork? Seriously, my wife is obsessed with your insta page and the blog,” Jason exclaims. “She’s going to lose her ish that I’m having lunch with you.”

“Still blogging but keeping that a little more separate now a days. There’s more bylines with Infatuation, Food and Wine, a good deal with some the local papers. I may have a piece end up with Bon Appetite if this pitch I’m working on comes to fruition,” you explain, taking a sip of what Phil just placed in front of you. “Trying to keep a little of that anonymity left to keep Fork as respected as it is. Your wife and I need to brunch at some point then.”

Phil comes by to ask about any allergies or dietary restrictions, the rest is up to him and the chef, and you know you’re all in good hands.

“So, a pretty girl with a unique name,” Tyler leads. “Feels like there’s probably a good story there.”

“I was a surprisingly early baby, literally my Mom went into labor at 35 weeks and in an orange grove. That was her craving when she was pregnant with me, a ton of citrus. Hence the name,” you smile. “It’s rare I hear anyone other than her use my full name anymore. Even my pen name for my byline on pieces uses my initials. Friends mostly call me C or Em.”

“No Emmy?” Tyler questions.

You shake your head, cheeks flushing. You’ve never allowed that by anyone; not that anyone has ever tried that out for size. It always felt to too special to you, wanting to hold on to that for the right person.

“Let me see these puppies that made you late,” you divert.

“Once you get him started on the three stooges, you cannot go back,” Jason rolls his eyes. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” you smile, making grabby hands for his phone. “Come on I know you’ve got a ton of photos and videos on there.”

“They’re definitely a handful, and not so much puppies anymore. Though Gerry would fight me on that, he’s the baby,” Tyler grins wide before pulling up a video of three dogs running around like crazy in what looks to be his backyard pool.

Lunch was more of the same, good food, good conversation and a bunch of joking around. Smart play by Jason to recommend it this way, he’s as much of a sweetheart as his texts made him out to be and helps ease some of the worries you had about Tyler. And Tyler, you found yourself gravitating to him a lot more than you thought you would. You all didn’t realize it until the shift change was happening how long you actually spent in the back booth. As you’re saying goodbye, hugs are passed around between the group of you this time.

“We’re keeping you around by the way,” Tyler whispers in your ear. “Welcome to the crew.”

You fall into a quirky but easy friendship with Tyler and Jason after that, eventually Jamie too once the boys drag him to one of your tasting outings. It evolves quickly from random texting to grabbing meals and drinks, hanging out after games, even meeting Tyler at the dog park to finally meet his trio of crazy pups during one of your crazy timed breaks in your schedule that matched up before he needed to get into his pre-game routine.

Gerry is running amok hopping around with a German Sheppard while Cash just wants Tyler to throw a stick for him to fetch repeatedly. Marshall, however, has taken residence with his head in your lap.

“I know your younger brothers are insane,” you coo, rubbing the chocolate lab’s ear as he nuzzles into your thigh. “I’m sorry I have to leave you with them in a few.”

“So soon?” Tyler asks, tossing Cash’s favorite stick a little father. “You like just got here. He also just doesn’t cuddle like that with anyone. Feel special, so you shouldn’t leave him either.”

“Only a quick break today. Deadlines looming and a bourbon tasting that need to get done if I’m meeting you guys later after the game,” you explain, fingers digging into Marshall’s fur again.

“At some point you do need to come to a game,” he sasses as Cash comes barreling into his legs, Gerry not far behind. “I know you’re a hockey fan, you can’t hide that Em.”

“Perhaps maybe,” you tease, rolling your eyes sticking your tongue out at him. “Ok Marsh, I’m sorry buddy but I gotta go.”

Marshall just slides his head further into your lap, while now Cash head butts your free hand as Gerry crashes into your legs.

“I’m so sorry boys, we’ll have another playdate soon I promise,” you call to them as you pet all their heads.

“Where’s my goodbye pets and love?” he cheekily leans his head towards you.

“Oh Ty,” rolling your eyes as you get up.

You lean in as you were going to kiss his cheek, but you just tweak his nose and flip his snapback off, “See you tonight superstar.”

Misty is thankfully behind the bar again tonight at Oak and Cork, except this time you’re in the middle of the crazy group instead of the far end of the bar.

“You hitting that yet?” Alex grins wiggling his eyebrows and nodding to where you’re leaning against the bar talking to Misty while she makes your drink.

Tyler shoves his teammate, “Dude.”

“First off, don’t be crass. Em is in the damn room. And that’s a no by the way,” Jason rolls his eyes at Alex after handing off glasses to the two of them. “He most definitely wants to; I think that she does too. They just won’t actually talk about it.”

“She sent you reckless slut shots, I think you can talk to her about fucking,” Alex replies, taking a pull from his drink.

“Emmy. She’s not just some random girl to dick and dump, Rads. Fucks sake,” he sighs, hand threading through his hair as he looks over in your direction where you’re talking with Jamie, Joe and his wife.

“Emmy, eh? That speaks volumes. Just ask her already,” Jason interjects. “We’re all tired of your crank ass. I’m going to find my better half.”

“He’s right,” Alex taps his glass against Tyler’s. “Go to her. Ask her. Kiss her. Less cranky, more goals, more fucking.”

Tyler shakes his head, downing the rest of his drink in one go. He snags a bottle of beer from one of the buckets left out on the bar for the group before he looks for somewhere to take a breather. You catch him stalking off to the patio, amber glass clenched in his hand with his brows knitted together.

“He ok?” you ask Jamie, pointing towards the door where Tyler’s walking through.

“That’s not a good Tyler face,” he sighs. “I should…”

“No, stay. I’ll go check,” you interrupt, polishing off your martini to head outside.

“Hard to have congratulatory drinks when the first star of the game is hiding out on the patio,” you call out.

He shrugs, not turning around at first but you can see the tension across his shoulders even through his dress shirt. You take a couple steps out towards him.

“Hey, come on. Can’t be that bad. Right? Nothing’s wrong with the pups? Your family?” you tread carefully not knowing what could have happened between the dog park and that moment.

He turns around slowly, not looking up at first.

“Tyler, what’s going on?” your concern lacing through your voice clearly.

“I still think about that night here, you know?” he starts, placing his bottle on the railing next to him before leaning back against it. “I was intrigued, girl at a bar alone on a Friday night. Gorgeous one at that. She kind of saw right through me but dished it back unexpectedly and pretty well. Then, then that damn chaperoned lunch. Kind of just rolled from there.”

“Ty, what are you saying?” you need to make sure where he’s going with this.

“I can’t stop thinking about you, it’s exhilarating and unnerving,” he fights out, coming off the railing. “I still think about kissing you, wanting that, all the damn time.”

“Tyler,” you begin, trying to move closer.

“Take another step and I can’t be held responsible for my actions,” Tyler fights out, hands flexing at his side but looking you straight in the eye.

You can see the clench of his jaw clearly from there, the fire he’s holding back in his eyes. Your breath catches, your heart skips and your stomach flips.

“What if I’m ok with that?” you whisper, slipping an inch closer.

“I need you to be sure, Clementine,” he looks at you carefully, pupils flicking wider.

“Clementine? Really Tyler?” you try to tease to lighten the thick air around the two of you.

“Emmy,” he exhales deeply. “Don’t. Please, not tonight. Not now.”

You nod once he opens his eyes, stepping closer.

“Use your words, Emmy,” he murmurs, one hand grasping your hip while the other comes to cup your cheek, thumb trailing across your skin. “I need to hear you say it, babygirl.”

You’re distracted for a moment, having him that close. His words swirl around your head, your senses are slightly overwhelmed by him. His cologne lingers in your nose and makes your eyes flutter.

“You don’t need to placate me though, I’m a big boy,” he says softly. “Friends is better than nothing.”

“I wouldn’t,” you jump in carefully. “It’s why I waited, why I’m saying yes now to you Ty.”

Tyler pulls you forward and claims your mouth. His tongue wicked, swiping at yours. Your hands slip up behind his neck with fingers tangling in his hair at the nape. You lose sense of time, all you can do is sink further into the kiss, and into him, until you’re out of breath.

“You taste like those damn orange martinis you love. I like it,” he sighs, knuckle trailing against your cheek. “I’ve never felt possessive, but fuck. The thought of anyone else sipping your sugar after that makes me see red, Emmy.”

“Is that the ass backwards Tyler way of asking me out?” you tease, popping up on your toes to nip at his bottom lip.

He surges forward and knocks the breath out of you with another bruising kiss.

“Come to my game tomorrow, wear my jersey. Let me show you off properly, let me take you home after, breakfast with the dogs on the patio in the morning,” he asks, this time his thumb tracing over your bottom lip. “And the game after that and the next one after that, the next weeks and months ahead. Let me show you that I’m not that reckless slut you may think I am. You make me not want to be.”

You smile, nodding and pressing a kiss to the pad of his thumb.

[secretgamergirl]

A Little Horrifying Primer on Transphobes

Some time ago, I put together a Little Fact Checking Primer on Trans People, as a basic resource for disabusing people of some of the many completely ridiculous yet absurdly widespread beliefs about trans people that simply have no basis whatsoever in reality. And wouldn’t you know it, every single lie exposed in that primer is not only still widely believed, but is presently being used as a basis to sign some absolutely horrific human rights abuses into law. So it’s high time I follow that up, in this case focused more on who keeps actively spreading these lies and why. I’m going to try and keep things as light as I can here, but we’re going to be looking at the most monstrous side of human nature, so apologies in advance if this is a dark read.

First, let me just note that there are two things I don’t plan to do in this piece. I’m not going to waste time debunking the arguments of the people I’m highlighting (much of this is already covered in my earlier primer, others have done the work in cases where I haven’t, and frankly these people’s claims should be self-evidently utter nonsense to begin with). I am also going to be very selective in what I link to, or even share related images of, as I would frankly not like to fill a post on a blog I generally try to keep safe for all audiences with media directly dealing with, for instance, child sexual assault, and much of the relevant information also involves stochastic terrorism against innocent people, and I would prefer not to throw more fuel onto such fires.

Transphobes lie constantly, about everything.

To some degree this is obvious. We’re talking about people who scaremonger about the possibilities of trans women dominating competitive sports and assaulting people in restrooms, despite the status quo already reflecting the conditions they insist would make these inevitibilities for decades and centuries respectively, and their grim visions never once having come to pass, and also constantly insisting that the woman in the photo below is actually a man, going further to say this is evident to anyone giving her the merest glance.

It goes beyond that though. There’s at least a little plausible deniablity in claims like this, or that “science is on their side” if they were simply uninformed about the world they live in, never actually looking into what laws exist, what science actually says, and never actually meeting a trans person or even seeing a picture of one of us. I’m talking really bold lies here. Like wholecloth fabricating a story that a convicted murder was trans, including anecdotes about wigs dresses and a planned name change, in a major newspaper. Or to cite an old favorite of mine, the time a pack of bigots walked up to a crowd of people peacefully picketing a transphobic legal proposal, started roughing them up and taking closeup photos of members of the crowd to stalk online when they got home, got sufficiently riled up for one to straight up assault an innocent person half her size, filmed the whole thing, uploaded it to youtube, and used stills of that assault as acomanying photos when they went home to write articles about the assailant being a “grandmother” attacked by rowdy trans women. And yes, they did monkey’s paw my wish to see that specific image on newspapers. Interesting side note, when it came to real public light that J.K. Rowling endorsed this sort of hatred, it was because she accidentally pasted some profanity laden rambling about how the imagined moral character of the other party in that incident, years after the fact, into a post praising a child’s fan art of her work.

To be a little less niche, transphobes can’t get enough of spreading the lie that the young fellow in this photo is a girl. Specifically a trans girl, providing proof that all their scaremongering about the dastardly threat of trans girls in competitive sports has finally come to pass.

To be fully clear, that’s a man (or a boy if you want to split hairs about him being 17 in that photo). Mack Beggs. A rather insidious choice for this sort of story, considering the actual context for that photo. See, Beggs attended high school in Texas, during a (still ongoing as I write this) period wherein that particular state had caved to this exact sort of propaganda, and in order to head off a wholly imagined wave of trans girls competing on girls’ sports teams, and enacted a law mandating that in all such competitions must compete under whatever gender is stated on their birth certificates. And as it happens, the first, and to my knowledge ONLY time this has come up was with Beggs here, who again, is a man, as no one with a grip on reality could argue against, has “female” on his birth certificate. Which is another way of saying he is a trans man. The guys in the same boat as trans women who we talk about a whole hell of a lot less because their existence is extremely inconvenient to the majority of transphobic propaganda. Case in point. And this is all information it is really impossible to come across if you’re coming across this photo in any sort of respectable source. Take this story, which is as unambiguous about this as you can get. And yet, in the very comments section of that story, there they are. Carrying on like this story about a trans guy, forced by a transphobic law to compete as a girl, which he absolutely did not want, and received horrific threats over, using phrases like “female to male” and bringing up that he was assigned female at birth and is on testosterone-based HRT, is about a trans woman cheating the system. Or to quote word for word, “Now also transgender female want to be male also compete in female sport. biological born“ That’s not “being confused,” that’s standing next to you in a white desert and complaining about being adrift in a black ocean, bald-faced, not even trying to be convincing just make a power play, lying through one’s teeth.

I could spend this whole article on just this point. Lying about who they are, various people’s falsified credentials, whole websites full of “anonymous parents of children who think they’re trans” turning out to be one single woman documenting the abuse of her very much trans son, or of course the people behind the whole “bathroom bill” panic candidly admitting it was all based on utter fiction. I do have other points to cover though.

Transphobes are firmly entrenched in the media.

It is extremely difficult to find oneself in a position of having to explain to people that a particular group of people is effectively in control of press outlets, as that is rather classically a claim conspiracy theorists absolutely love to toss around at various marginalized groups (including trans people hilariously enough, but of course the most common and lingering version of this is the antisemitic variant). I really can’t get around it here though. Specifically in the U.K., you honestly can say that transphobes control the media. I already touched on this with the assault case I mentioned above and the fabricated story about the murderer, but this is a pretty well-documented situation. I mean, even The Guardian calls out The Guardian on this, and that’s the outlet that gets the most attention because it’s the one with the most otherwise respected name, but every paper in the country has been running transphobic propaganda pieces on a weekly if not daily basis for years now, and while they do get reprimanded by watchdog groups and have mass walk-outs over the worst of it, it’s not like there’s some governing body with the authority to step in about it. Meanwhile the BBC is constantly inviting diehard zealots like Graham Linehan to news programs where he compares being trans to being a nazi, and hosting debates where someone just sits down and repeatedly chants the word “penis” at a trans woman.

Things are better in the rest of the world, but we still have right-wing creeps like Jesse Singal both writing horrific propaganda pieces (we’ll get back to that one) and blackballing trans writers out of covering trans issues ourselves (and personally stalking the hell out of those of us who try). We’ve got our Joe Rogans and Tucker Carlsons out there (no way in hell I’m linking videos here, have a real information link and a still).

The line between diehard transphobes and straight-up nazis basically does not exist.

What even is there to say here? You can easily poke around havens for nazi activity for yourself and compare the particular unique vocabulary used there to the primary bastion of anti-trans hate speech on the internet (the “feminism” section of what was originally a site for parenting tips before violent fascists took the forums over) or just peruse the follows of the thousands of people I’ve blocked on social media and see if you can sort out a clear division in the networks of channers with frog avatars and the accounts with names like GoodieXXrealwoman, or you can read up on Gab and Spinster, the two twitter alternatives that are just different portals to the same server, set up by the same guy. Maybe do some research into “the LGB Alliance,” or WoLF but any way you slice it the only real difference to be found is the general purpose nazis take a little time off now and then to watch borderline pedophilic anime and the really dedicated transphobes think to use language that sounds vaguely well-educated and left-leaning. I mean, this came from the “feminist” side of the fence:

And not to belabor the point here, but the ones claiming to be a bunch of “feminist mums” sure do let the mask slip any time they’re confronted with the fact that “women” includes black women, and oh just have a whole thread about all the weird conspiratory theories these people have about how trans people’s whole existence is some sort of Jewish plot for world domination. I swear a few months ago they were all passing around a story about some bank having an above average number of trans employees and they were all just “and we all know who controls the banks, right?” about it.

Transphobes endorse an awful lot of people who are openly pro-pedophila.

This is the part where I am really loath to link the many many specific examples I have on hand. Or to talk about this at all for reasons of good taste. Or, for that matter, to talk about this in a tumblr post when there’s an ongoing problem of people with backgrounds strongly tied to this site making baseless accusations of pedophilia against every queer person they can find, so let me be very clear just what I’m talking about while avoiding anything too graphic.

That’s James Cantor. Transphobes love him for being one of the closest things they have to a scientist on their side. And I am featuring him in a screenshot here showing that he is followed by current queen of the transphobes J.K. Rowling, while speaking to both another big name in transphobic circles, Debra Soh, and based on their names, what I’m guessing is at least one straight-up nazi. And in case you think “the P” he’s talking about adding to LGBT (or “GLBT” as weird anti-queer bigots who also have issues with women often write it) might stand for “poly” or “pan” he’s all too happy to clarify that.

This is the entire thrust of Cantor’s work and life. He is the world’s biggest pedophile rights advocate. He wants it declassified as a mental disorder, all stigma on it removed, and tirelessly pushes forward the idea that the majority of.. people who feel compelled to sexually assault children are good people who present no potential harm to anyone and should in fact be lauded.

I am not generally one to claim that someone with a PhD is spewing out questionable garbage with regard to their field, but the reason I am aware of Cantor at all is that other transphobes keep trying to hold up a particular post on his blog as "a study” (which it is not) that offers “proof” (in the form of a blurry jpeg of basically some random numbers) of some ridiculous quackery about how trans kids will “grow out of it” if exposed to conversion therapy (another way of saying torture), which Cantor himself seems to be pushing, so I am somewhat skeptical of his academic chops. And I am, of course, REALLY suspicious that all these other bigots gravitate to him purely because they’re that desperate to find anyone with a PhD in anything that backs them up against literally every scientist in a relative field, to the point that they merely forgive his particular advocacy they are plainly all aware of, particularly when such a common fig leaf used by transphobes is “keeping children safe from sexual deviants.”

And of course, Cantor is most often invoked when coming to the defense of Kenneth Zucker. This Kenneth Zucker.

Those are separate papers. Zucker isn’t controversial though for organizing panels to discuss how attractive people agree small children are (at least not exclusively). Mostly, he’s known for running a conversion therapy center which subjected gay and trans children to various sorts of torture in an effort to “fix” them, which at least for those trans "patients” I have spoken with involved a fair amount of having them strip completely naked and talking a lot about their genitals.

Zucker is something of a controversial figure with the transphobic scene, as they are extremely on board with his sexual torture of queer children, but he does actual work (for some value of the term) involving trans people and thus is not able to commit as fully as they would prefer to making life horrible for trans people, due to a professional obligation to acknowledge reality now and then. As an aside, the similarly positioned Ray Blanchard, while not to my knowledge particularly interested in the attractiveness of children, lives in a similar purgatory of trying to reconcile his career, bigotry, and sexual hangups, yielding compromises like this:

Of course, that’s just looking at the straws transphobes grasp at when looking for scientific credibility. Real leaders of the movement include Germaine Greer, author of The Beautiful Boy, which is about what you are afraid it might be, and features a very young child in a cover feature he did not consent to posing for. Or Julie Bindel, who among other things is rather infamous for writing whole articles on subjects like whether a teenage girl she came across maybe has a huge penis you can totally see if you really squint at her skirt. Again, I will not share a link to go along with that one.

Transphobes terrorize and attempt to defund charities and other unambiguously good organizations.

Graham Linehan, previously best known for cowriting some sitcoms and possibly spending a year angling to get into my pants so awkwardly I didn’t pick up on it is now best known for trying to pull the plug on a children’s charity, in a story that somehow also involves Donkey Kong. Well, and the interview about nazis. And possibly the other interview about “defending me from nazis” until it got into his head that I might not be as young and hot as he imagined. Rather not link to a far right extremist youtube channel though.

There’s also a current effort to replace Stonewall (an organization named after the location where a pair of trans women kicked off a riot which is generally agreed to be the start of the LGBT+ rights movement) as the UK’s primary LGBT+ rights organization with the “LGB Alliance.” The hate group mentioned above, with the skull face and the rifle. Closest I can find to an article on that effort on short notice that isn’t propaganda.

Transphobes paper areas in truly disgusting propaganda.

I don’t want to directly link to grown adults skulking around children’s playgrounds and bathrooms plastering surfaces with mass printed stickers of crudely drawn penises, but would encourage you to read this very long post, being sure to load all the images, to really understand how deeply strange this behavior gets.

Finally, I cannot stress this enough, this really extreme behavior I’m citing, and the specific people involved in the examples I’m giving, these aren’t random cranks on the fringe of things. The people going on televised panel discussions, writing up news stories, and testifying before lawmakers in efforts to pass horrifically discriminatory if not literally life-endangering laws (there is a major ongoing effort to legally end all medical care for trans people, and I don’t just mean care directly relating to being trans) are literally the same people involved in the sexualization of children, nazi collaborations, and roving gangs assaulting people in the street. At a bare minimum I urge people, when booking guests and handing out writing contracts, to do background checks and see if they’re platforming actual terrorists. If we could actually bring legal consequences to bear against the worst of this, that would be great too. As things stand though, the whole world is just consistently citing a bunch of racist, woman-hating, serial liars with no real credentials, and questionable attitudes towards the sexual abuse of children, as “trusted experts” and refusing to seat actual trans people or people who have legitimately committed lifetimes to academic and practical work with trans people any seats at the table.

[hustlerose]

ok heres the rambling i hope u like reading

seriously some of you guys claim to be progressive but youve managed to dredge up the old “video games/ movies/ comics/ magazines/ books/ hoop and stick games are the reason our kids are violent” argument lol. i keep seeing ppl say every piece of art that depicts bad things is unequivocally bad and its so stupid. first of all, you should be able to understand that fictional characters are not real people and their actions don’t take place in the real world. on top of that, you should understand that just because someone made art depicting something bad doesn’t mean theyre bad, and just because someone enjoyed it doesnt mean theyre fucked up and evil and literally condoning blah blah blah. when you say this shit, you sound like a boomer 

at some point you should be mature enough to see a piece of art and engage with it beyond the level of “i’m going to write a callout post for pearl from steven universe”. and more than that, you should accept that art is subjective and other ppl are gonna experience it differently than you 

i’ve been a horror fan for a long time and i love seeing fictional violence. blood, gore, torture, lies, cheats, dirty deeds, sexual assault, extreme emotions, extreme trauma, unreality, and morally gray characters. when handled well, these things can be dramatic, shocking, and emotional and i love it. 

i understand that some ppl would rather avoid these things, and i think content warnings are a good thing. if my friend has an anxiety disorder and epilepsy i’m not gonna force them to marathon all my favorite horror movies with blinking lights. you should be able to pace yourself. but the flip side of that is: some people don’t need those warnings. some people actively seek that stuff out and enjoy it. and just because it’s not for you doesn’t mean it’s not ok for someone else to love it. there are tons of normal level headed ppl who enjoy things that are way more extreme than your average disney channel show, and enjoying those things doesn’t make them problematic or suspicious or whatever, they just have different tastes than you 

example. one of my favorite characters is guts from berserk, one the best manga series of all time. in berserk, guts attempts to sexually assault another character, kills hundreds of people including a child, and serves in a war under a proto-fascist warlord. does the fact that i enjoy berserk mean i condone murdering hundreds of people? no, i wouldnt hurt a dragonfly and im also a tiny baby. does liking berserk mean i cant criticize the parts that are genuinely bad?? also no, the series basically treats casca (our main female lead) as a lamp for half the plot, and the part where guts tries to assault her is framed as an edgy character moment, which is pretty misogynistic if u ask me. again, if any of that turns you off, you dont have to read it. but i did read it, and i got a lot out of it and learned a thing or two about how not to write about women. 

with any piece of art, you should bring your own morals into it, and engage with its ideas. art is not always good or evil, it’s a dialog between you and an author. you NEED to be able to appreciate these things without resorting to insane reactions and in-group/out-group shenanigans 

you know that kid you knew in 9th grade who you could ask “do you listen to [band]” and they would always say yes no matter what band it was, just because they were terrified of the idea that someone else might be different than them in some tiny way? thats some of yall except youve formed a hivemind around it and appropriated a bunch of liberal academic terms lol 

[hlcreators]

AUTHOR REC: louistomlinsons / @adoredontour 

Be sure to show some love by leaving kudos and comments!

this town’s just an ocean now (31k)

“I have really great friends. Do you remember Louis? You guys were always hanging out when you were growing up.” Harry remembers Louis. Harry remembers Louis. Suddenly, his throat feels way too dry, despite the ice cream he keeps licking at. He chokes a little on a chocolate chip before saying, “I, uh. I remember Louis.” Her face brightens. “We have dinner every Sunday. He owns the house now. His parents moved further north, and he wanted to stay here, so they just gave it over. Now if you want to worry about someone being lonely, that’s who I worry about.” inspired by watermelon sugar, featuring picnics on the beach and boys being dumb

daydream about me (21k)

“Anything else going on for you at the moment?” she asks, leaning forward on her elbows across the table, mindful of the radio equipment in front of her. “What about you and that Louis Tomlinson?” Harry sputters, mouth moving but no words coming out. She can feel her cheeks heat up, darkening with embarrassment. “It’s not, Louis and I, we don’t—” Harry can’t finish the sentence, tongue heavy in her mouth. She takes a deep breath, thankful they’re not being videoed, and tries again, “We’ve never even met, actually.” alternatively titled 'harry styles does not have a crush on louis tomlinson and other lies she tells liam payne'

robbers and cowards (33k)

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost think that you’re enjoying yourself.” The familiar voice immediately gets Louis’ blood boiling, shoulders tensing as he calmly spins around, trying not to draw any suspicion to the pair. “You don’t know me at all,” Louis spits, managing to maintain the polite smile he’s been wearing all evening. “You’re just some asshole who always ruins my nights.” “If I keep ruining your nights, why do you keep going home with me?” Harry asks, taking a sip from his own wine glass. “I don’t go home with you by any choice of my own,” Louis says. “I think you’re annoying and I have no idea how I keep ending up in your bed.” “You end up in my bed because you knock on my apartment door at two in the morning.” Louis wants to punch the smirk right off of his face. “Maybe you should move,” is what he says instead. or a modern day robin hood au where louis and harry (don’t really) hate each other but they hate greedy billionaires more

I’m a Rocket Man (47k)

All he could hear were the faint sounds of Pina Colada coming from the radio and his own heart beating erratically against his chest.

“Oops,” he heard coming from the other side of the front window. He quickly pushed the grey rubber towards the back of the car, the rubber of the thing groaning and squeaking as he did so. Finally, after wrestling the thing away from him, Harry came into view, face pressed against the other side of the window.

“Hi.” Louis smiled, looking towards Harry, eyes curious. He almost got lost in the way Harry’s face was so cutely pinched, green eyes glowing in the sunlight. He was brought back to reality when Harry tried to move, causing the grey whatever it was to push against Louis again. “What the fuck is this?”

“Uhh... it’s Randy?”

or, Niall is an investigative journalist, Liam is his biggest fan, Zayn is just along for the ride, and Harry probably isn’t an alien. A roadtrip au no one asked for.

sip it slowly and pay attention (12k)

“So I’ve got a guy I think you might like,” Louis says. He’s standing in the doorway of Harry’s office, drinking from what is most definitely Harry’s mug. “You’re going to set me up?” Harry asks, rightfully wary. He can’t imagine that this could end well. “Don’t look so afraid.” Louis takes a sip from his mug, wincing as it burns him. Harry rolls his eyes. He’s always warning Louis to be more patient before he loses all his taste buds. “I know you better than anyone else. Who better to set you up on dates than me?” “I guess you’re right,” Harry says, still slightly hesitant. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Louis, but. He doesn’t trust Louis’ taste. Louis has about the same track record with men that Harry does, if not quite as extensive. or, harry is a guidance counselor, louis is an english teacher, and harry just wants to go on one successful date

i hope that you won’t slip away in the night (13k)

He turns back to Maybe Jessica. “Who’s going to be here?” “Harry Styles,” she says. “The one-” “I know who he is,” Louis snaps. “Who invited him?” “Uh, you did, sir.” Louis didn’t think that was serious. When he had responded to Harry’s cheeky tweet about the gala with his own cheeky ‘You should come - I’ll put you on the guest list’ he hadn’t expected anything to come of it. Least of all for Harry to show up. or the one where louis is a prince and harry is a popstar

feels like we’re finally free (13k)

louis just wants to write a breakup novel. falling in love was never part of the plan, but the cute barista at his favorite coffeeshop makes him think otherwise.

who’s that girl? (13k)

“So, do you want to tell us a little bit more about why you’re here?” “What do you mean?” Harry asks, furrowing his eyebrows together. “I’m here because I need a place to live and you guys need a roommate.” “I guess let me rephrase that,” Leo (or maybe Liam) says. He taps his pen twice against the notepad, drawing Harry’s attention away from a large hole in one of the walls. “Why do you need a place to live?” “Oh, that’s easy.” Harry sits up straighter in his seat. “I walked in on my boyfriend of four years banging my boss. I couldn’t very well keep living with them, could I?” harry is canadian, louis owns a bar, zayn comes and goes as he pleases, liam's just trying to keep everyone alive, and nobody knows what niall does. a new girl au.

we’re not who we used to be (30k)

“Harry…” Louis’ voice catches in his throat, thick with tears threatening to fall out, so he coughs to clear it before trying again. “Harry is Liam’s best man?” “You didn’t know?” Harry is standing at the entrance of the garage, mouth slightly open and face pulled together. He sets his bag on the ground and puts his hands on his hips. When he does that, he looks just like the Harry that Louis remembers (and loves, he thinks with an aching heart). “I’m sure I mentioned it,” Liam says, but Louis can tell he’s lying by the way he chews on his lower lip and twists his fingers together. “You’re all a bunch of dick heads, I’m getting in the car.” Louis isn’t sure if he’s being unreasonable. He has no idea what the protocol is when your ex-boyfriend shows up after three years and nobody bothered to give you a heads up. He’s pretty sure he’s allowed to be upset about it, even if it’s only for a bit. or an exes to lovers canadian roadtrip au

old macdonald had a farm (5.1k)

Louis is a hedgehog, Harry is a fish, Niall is a parrot, Liam is a golden retriever, and Zayn is Zayn. It’s a crazy twenty-four hours.

or are you giving it to someone else (3.3k)

“Dude, last night I couldn’t tell if he was being murdered or having the best sex of his life,” Louis said, taking a sip of his beer. He tried to say it as quietly as he could in the loud pub, worried about who may overhear him. “Is this your neighbor?” Liam asked. He was newer to the group, and therefore, newer to the situation. He had only heard a handful of the stories about the strange things Louis heard his neighbor doing, as opposed to the book Louis could most definitely write about the man. In the hallways, he seemed perfectly normal. He would smile at Louis and sometimes make polite conversation. He didn’t seem like the type to be having loud, kinky sex every night at the craziest hours of the day. But he was. or, louis hears his neighbor having loud sex through the walls and it's not a problem until it is

The F Word (23k)

When Louis finds himself at a party for the first time after his boyfriend cheated on him, the last person he expects to meet is Harry. They hit it off immediately, conversation flowing all night. Louis finally thinks he’s ready to jump back into the dating scene, when a wrench gets thrown in his plan.

Harry has a boyfriend.

Or, a movie AU based on the F word

tonight’s not over (come over and stay) (16k)

Zayn doesn’t say anything for a moment, pausing and worrying at his bottom lip. Finally, he asks, “Have you heard that Cox guy is coming out with a new song?” Louis freezes, fingers hovering over his keyboard where they had been typing his password. “No, I hadn’t,” Louis says truthfully. “Where did you hear that?” “Tell anyone this and I’ll kill you, but I’d consider myself a big fan,” Zayn says. His face doesn’t change in expression, completely serious as he admits this to Louis. “Big fan? Like run a blog and everything?” or, harry is a famous singer and louis is a student who just wants to write his novel

honey, honey (7k)

another sorority au that no one asked for - featuring squirt guns, copious talks of marriage, and more useless lesbians.

fall in love with the moon (and everything beautiful) (10k)

“It’s adorable that you think you can compromise with me on this,” Louis says. He places his hands on his hips and tries his best to look intimidating. “But I am not budging on this. Every book pun you say will result in one quarter in the jar.” “What jar?” Harry asks. He furrows his eyebrows together. Louis rolls his eyes. “Like a swear jar, but now I’m going to make yours ‘Harry’s dumbass pun jar.’ Maybe I’ll have you put a quarter in for every pun you say, not just the ones about books. Niall was right - you tell the worst jokes.” “One time Niall told me I’d never said a funny joke in my life,” Harry says casually. “Funny. He told me that too.” or, louis and harry work in a bookstore together and harry tells dumb jokes and they fall in love

get a little bit nervous (14k)

Liam goes to say something, probably something dumb, but he chokes on his spit, coughing loudly. The man in front of him is one of the prettiest people he’s ever seen in his life; he’s got thick eyelashes that fan out and frame his dark eyes and tanned unblemished skin. Liam forgets all of his previous thoughts. “You okay, mate?” he asks, concern filtering into his voice. “Yeah, yeah,” Liam says, still choking and coughing. “Sorry.” “We all reacted the same way we saw Zayn for the first time,” Niall says from next to him, laughter evident in his tone. “He’s a god, isn’t he?” or, ziam farmer's market au where liam, louis, and niall work at the produce stand, harry and zayn work at the bakery stand, and nobody's straight

i’ve heard it both ways (26k)

“I, uh.” Harry is scrambling, trying to think of something believable on the spot. He remembers the woman from reception and her phone call and says the only thing he can think of. “I’m a psychic.” Everyone stills. Zayn laughs, Detective Edwards looks confused, and the officer holding the door open looks mildly frightened. “A psychic?” Zayn gets out between his laughs. “I’ve heard it all. You’re definitely spending the night in the holding cell now. You’re wasting all of our time here.” an au based on the tv show psych where harry is shawn, louis is jules, liam is gus, niall is mcnabb, and zayn is lassie.

i just know you (got to taste like candy) (3.9k)

Harry seduces the cute cell phone repair girl with her phone's wallpaper.

i just want you to dance with me tonight (7.6k)

The sorority au no one asked for. Featuring a prank war, Lirry friendship, and useless lesbians.

beautiful wreck, colorful mess (4.4k)

Harry's been desperate to try out the toys she bought for her and Louis.

she says she doesn’t love me (don’t believe her) (17k)

Harry is a disaster gay who works in a coffee shop and Louis doesn't want to admit she's in love.

only you know me (4.5k)

“It’s just unfair.” Louis can’t help her complaining. “You always get these opportunities I would die for to throw parties. I’ve got, like, a billion siblings, so I never get the house to myself. You’re home alone at least three times a semester. Your parents wouldn’t even be mad or anything.” “That’s not even the point,” Harry says, calmly and evenly. Sometimes it’s frustrating to Louis just how easily Harry keeps her calm. “And what is?” Louis asks, throwing a goldfish cracker in Harry’s direction. It misses. “That I don’t want to.” - Based on the prompt, "Nothing really specific just a harry/Louis sleepover while Harry's parents are out of town involving sexy lady times? "

[internalsealpanic]

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

- 🔺:)

Since you put so many stars I'm gonna do a bunch of scenes from the fic

(for this ask game)

It was easiest to just tell Tim all the facts rather than rely on the goodwill you've built in 3 years to persuade him.

I was actually pretty stuck on how to write this fic. I knew I wanted to write Tim and Reader urban exploring for a really long time and this is actually the specific kind of fic I've been dying to write awhile now. Hilariously enough what jumpstarted the entire fic was your manipulation HCs. I freaking loved them and it made me want to write Reader trying to manipulate Tim. I like Reader characters with very gray moral lines or a very necessity based moral compass. I think this kind of reader really fits into the setting but they're slowly getting corrupted by Tim *cackles*

People say it was an abomination (An unidentifiable, Tim corrected but you still think abomination captured the appropriate dramatic for that.)

This part I actually kind of like because this series gives me so much opportunity to fuck around with diction and vernacular of people from not only different classes but also different geographical backgrounds. Tim and Reader were written specifically so I could explore this weird effect of having education not be completely available to the public. Reader's perspective on these creatures is less clinical which has them rely upon superstition and folklore to interpret what is in front of them while Tim who gets more accurate information or gets a less dispersed version.

You highly doubt Bludhaven was in any shape to contain whatever it is ravaging sector 4-D. After all, it wasn't in any better shape than Gotham was at the moment. You doubt it's ever been in better shape. They're like two cities constantly caught in this vortex of awfulness, looking at each other from two different sides thinking 'poor bastards'.

I am not 100% certain of the canonical relationship between Gothamites and People in Bludhaven but this just sounds funny.

Sector 4-D was an easy hunting ground where young scavengers got their feet wet before they could move on.

I like the idea of more reputable guilds in the world forcefully partnering up scavenger veterans with youngins to make sure they can safely learn the ropes and not die immediately. The starting age varies wildly per organization but the oldest starting is 17 and the youngest is 12. This is at least what the records say. It's easy enough to lie when record-keeping is shit.

Appealing to the guy's sense of responsibility was kind of cheating

Small nod to Tim's motivation to become Robin :)

A building full of books and most importantly, medical textbooks.

Not a lot of books or even research material survived the nearly century-long span between the start of the pandemic and the present day. This was mostly due to people trying to take care of things on their own (setting fire to each other) and general distrust towards authority figures. This is me ranting about current state of affairs.

You try to push down the number of zeroes the man had shown you as you zip past a rusted sign.

There is currency in this world but it's decentralized and useless unless you're A) in Gotham and B) hoping to use it when bargaining with the government. Reader is hoping to use the money for something however it sadly won't help with daily expenses.

Besides, all the other people who won't stab you after cashing in the reward probably don't know half as many words as Tim so you'll definitely need him to get the right books.

My failed attempt at subtly nodding to Reader's illiteracy.

You stare at the rows of cars before you. They're overrun with weeds and vines and rust. A stark reminder that your Gotham is just a fraction of what it had been. You stop your bike in front of a taxi with a faded yellow body.

Reason I like post-apocalypse aus: ruined cities. I live the aesthetic of old abandoned buildings as nature starts to reclaim.

At least not when you checked but you really don't wanna gamble your Scavenger's license on clerical errors by either of your guilds.

I have so many stupid notes on this one occupation

Tim steps out of the sidecar, careful not to jostle Basil in his bag. You want to point out that you should probably wake the cat up otherwise you were wasting food on him but you knew better than to expect cooperation from Tim's furball from hell.

No commentary I just love Basil.

“The one that involves the least aliens.” You pause, narrowing your eyes at Tim whose hand is currently being eaten by his cat. “Or alien adjacent things.”

I was half tempted to prove reader wrong.

Grade A my ass, you think staring at the furball nipping at his knuckles.

The cats given to guild members have different rankings based on how capable they are in detecting and attacking/hunting the creatures. Grade A is supposed to be top of the line. Reader thinks Tim's been scammed.

“Maybe,” you tilt your head, “or maybe the people from before were just idiots.”

I am describing myself.

The skittering voices rise like the fluttering of locust wings.

[The scene where the monster appears]

Absolutely freaking love this scene because I am a huge fan of body horror and I started off writing horror. I had to look up just the right words to describe the vibe I got from Mask Face in Spirited Away. I wanted to creep people out as much as Tim and Reader were creeped out. I also wanted to make the disease's effects more monstrous so that the mythological stuff it inspires sounds more plausible. This creature is likely to reappear.

You splay a hand on Tim’s chest, pushing him back lightly.

Brain screamed: protective gesture.

It blinks at you.

It. Blinks. At. *You.*

Due to the mostly nocturnal nature of the infected fauna, most of them are blind, so this development is horrifying. It's like when Texas Chainsaw Massacre set its horrors in the daylight. They've now been robbed of another safety measure.

"For the record, I hate your plans." You say, gagging.

"What was yours?" Tim fires back, dusting his hair.

"..."

"Just what I thought."

I love sassy Tim :)

Tim doesn't respond.

You pull your hand away and it’s slick with blood.

*Cackles*

[particularemu]

King of Hearts | A Hwang Hyunjin Scenario

Request: “I love your works! And I wanted to ask you and my top two other writers (and more if you can rally that many) @and  @Maaaaaatryoshka0325 to maybe make a scenario with a member being in a gang and they protect the reader and get hurt? Lots of aftercare! But here’s the catch: you all write it separately, I’m curious to see how people handle the scenario differently! Maybe even do other members each?! Whatever you guys can decide if you’re up for it! Fighting! 😃” 

Warnings: Mentions violence, guns, someone getting shot, gambling.

Word Count: 5813 

Other Members: Bang Chan: @thecarat-top​ 

Lee Minho: @maaaaaatryoshka0325​ 

Seo Changbin: @backhugsforhyunjin​ 

Lee Felix: @honeyfelix​ 

Kim Seungmin: @backhugsforhyunjin​ 

Yang Jeongin: @lixiescheesestick​ 

Author’s Note: I don’t know how to play poker, but I tried to learn for this fic. Idk if I got the details wrong, but if I did whoops I apologize. 

Read my bby @jisungsjheekies‘s fic: Eerie Night

“Hey, you ready?” Hyunjin slowly opened the door, a bright smile taking over his features when he saw you in your dress. “Wow… You look amazing.” He closed the distance between you two, placing his hands on your waist as you glanced at yourself in the body-length mirror. 

It felt a bit awkward being in such a fancy gown, but you enjoyed getting all dressed up for tonight. 

Anyone off the streets would think you were going to a ball or a fancy business party. 

No… You weren’t going anywhere like that. You and Hyunjin were headed to The Black Spade — one of the biggest, baddest casinos in the upper west side of the city. The casino was run by the Young Bastards — an oddly successful group of 20-year-old somethings who’ve crossed the line with Stray Kids. 

Originally Hyunjin was the only one who was supposed to go, but an incident at The Black Spade last month put himself at risk.

See... a man who plays the game of Poker has a 40% chance of winning. A man who plays Poker and wins 100% of the time? That’ll alert every gang member watching the floor. Unfortunately, this happened to your boyfriend, so heading back to rob the owner of The Black Spade, was nearly impossible, unless he could provide a distraction. 

So here you were, a distraction indeed, dressed in a tight, sparkly dress, ready to help your boyfriend win several poker games. 

Hwang Hyunjin was quite the anomaly. The man was beautiful and charismatic, but he was also sensitive. People are quick to trust him. Little would they know that Hyunjin was the biggest high-stakes gambler the Stray Kids Gang had to offer. 

The man has won millions of dollars against casinos run by rival gangs. Not only does he play the game — he wins every single time. Hyunjin doesn’t win out of talent — no he’s gotten really good at sleight of hand throughout the years, so he has several tricks up his sleeve. 

Usually, Hyunjin can get away with playing a game and leaving the casino, but last week someone taunted him into staying for three games. To keep from losing any money, Hyunjin had to win all three. He left just before a bunch of gang members came to take him to the leader of the Young Bastards. 

The leader of Stray Kids, Bang Chan, wanted to get them back. The best and least violent way to destroy a gang? Rob them blind. The easiest way to do that would be sending Hyunjin to The Black Spade once more, but Chan couldn’t risk losing one of his best members. Besides… Hyunjin was practically family. 

Chan originally asked if you’d be interested in learning to cheat at Poker, so you could go in Hyunjin’s place, but your boyfriend wouldn’t allow you to go alone. So the three of you compromised. You’d go with Hyunjin and disguise his sleight of hand so the gang members wouldn’t be tipped off. 

It took weeks of learning crazy tricks for you to effectively cheat at a game of Poker. It took another week to get used to doing sleight of hand with Hyunjin handing you the cards down his sleeve. Eventually, the two of you were like clockwork. He’d slip a card down his sleeve and go hold your hand. You’d take the card as it slid into your hand, and tuck it in your garter. One tap meant swap the card. Two taps meant you needed to hand the hidden card back to Hyunjin. Codeword: Dinner. If shit went south, and people started to notice you cheating, you guys planned to bail with the simple phrase, “Babe, I’m getting hungry. We should go to dinner.” 

“Are you ready?” Hyunjin gently kissed your cheek. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” 

“I want to.” Your hand rested on his cheek as you guided his head to rest on yours. “I’m glad you’re going with me.” 

“There’s no way I’d let you go there by yourself.” Hyunjin kissed your forehead. “Do you have your knife?”

“Yeah.” You lifted your dress, showing off the holster strapped to your upper thigh, a knife securely strapped in. 

“Don’t be afraid to use that if someone gets close to you.” Hyunjin’s arm snaked around your waist. “Don’t question it, just point and stab.” 

You giggled at Hyunjin’s choice of words. “Alright. Let’s go.” 

Hyunjin led you outside to a fancy-looking Limousine.  He opened the door and gestured inside, allowing you to slide in. Your eyes widened at the amazing interior. The Limo was fully equipped with neon lights, velvet seats, bottles of champagne, crystal glasses, and even a television. 

“Okay, this is cool.” You beamed as Hyunjin slid next to you. 

“Well, I figured since I’m asking my girlfriend to risk her life for me, we’d travel in style.” He giggled when you lightly smacked his shoulder. 

“You’re so cheesy.” You slid closer to him and leaned your head against his chest, smiling when he slung his arm over your shoulders. “If we were here under different circumstances I’d say we should try fucking in here.” 

“Please don’t.” You could hear Felix’s voice from behind the partition. 

Lee Felix was the best getaway driver in the city. It was comforting to know you had someone so talented behind the wheel, but you couldn’t help but wonder if it’s possible to lose a tail in a limo.

“I said under different circumstances Lix.” You chuckled. “If you’re going to eavesdrop, you might as well listen.” 

“I couldn’t risk it.” Felix laughed. “We all know you guys go at it like rabbits.” 

Your face flushed as you sunk back in Hyunjin’s side, ego officially defeated at Felix’s words. “Who heard?”

“You guys are about as subtle as an air horn.” Felix giggled. “Like seriously? We all know you’re going to fuck when you ask Hyunjin to come open a jar of pickles.” 

Hyunjin’s cheeks flushed slightly as he laughed with Felix, fully enjoying how you pressed your face into his neck in embarrassment. “Come on Lix, that’s enough. You’re embarrassing her.”

“Well, we’re here, so you don’t have to deal with my shit anymore.” Felix parked the limo in front of the casino. 

Your heart dropped into your stomach, fear suddenly taking over as you stepped out into the night, flashing lights reminding you of the task at hand. Your hands darted to Hyunjin’s arm, squeezing tightly when he stepped out of the limo. 

“Hey,” Hyunjin whispered, lips brushing against the shell of your ear as he tried to comfort you. “I won’t think any less of you if you call this off now.” 

You turned to him, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “How dangerous is this?”

Hyunjin sighed and pulled you flush against his body. “Very.” He paused, trying to find the right words. “There’s a small chance that I could get shot as soon as we walk in.” 

Your blood ran cold, hands tightening around him as panic bubbled in your chest. “Let’s go in before I can’t.” 

“Baby we don’t have to.” His hand rubbed your back, hoping to soothe you. 

“No, let’s go.” You let go of Hyunjin and walked straight into the casino, pausing when you reached the entryway. 

The Black Spade was enormous. The entire casino was filled with various slot machines, card tables, and many other games. A giant chandelier hung from the ceiling, each shard of glass glistening under the light. You weren’t expecting this to be such a big place. 

Hyunjin rushed to your side, grabbing your hand and pulling you close to him. “Don’t you dare do that again.” He sighed in relief. “You scared the hell out of me.” 

Sure enough, as soon as a man saw Hyunjin, he had his hand on his earpiece, talking to, who you assumed was, the leader of the Young Bastards. Not long after the man stopped talking, another man popped out. 

“If it isn’t the infamous Hwang Hyunjin.” He held his hand out to Hyunjin, smiling when your boyfriend shook his hand. “I heard about your three big wins last month, and I’m curious to see if it’ll happen again.” 

There was something about the man that made you nervous. He appeared nice, but you had a bad feeling that he was dangerous. 

“I doubt it.” Hyunjin chuckled. “I still can’t believe that happened! I got lucky.” 

“Luck you say?” The man smirked, an evil twinge in his eye. “I believe you mean skill. I must watch you play a poker game, Mr. Hwang.”

Hyunjin shook his head, pulling you closer to his body. “I actually came here with my girl to play the slot machines. I haven’t played Poker since last month. I’m afraid I’ll be rusty.”

The man shook his head. “That’s too bad. You must play a game with me before you leave. If you can’t find me on the floor, tell any of the workers you’re looking for Damien.”  

So Damien was his name. Damien gave you a curt nod and shook Hyunjin’s hand once more before departing. Once he was a safe distance away you squeezed Hyunjin’s hand. “I need to use the restroom. Can we please find one?”

Hyunjin nodded, a look of concern replacing his features as he led you to the ladies room. You ran into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. God, you needed to replace that look of pure panic or you were going to tip off the whole club. You smacked your cheek a couple times to get your shit together, before heading back out to your boyfriend. 

Hyunjin was leaning against the wall when you stepped out. “Did you do that thing you do when you’re scared shitless? You know… where you smack your face?”

Your eyes widened as you slipped your hand in his. “How the fuck did you know?” 

“I’ve always known. Your cheeks are super red dingus.” He giggled when you shoved his side. 

You and Hyunjin headed to the banker. “I need 16 million in chips please.” He paused. “Please leave out $100 in coins.” 

“Of course sir.” The banker handed Hyunjin a bag full of chips, then slid a small stack of quarters across the counter. 

“Thank you, sir.” Hyunjin nodded at the man, grabbing the chips and leading you over to the slot machines. 

“Aren’t we supposed to play poker?” You asked. 

“Yeah, but I told him I’d be playing the slot machines with you.” He kissed you on the cheek and gestured for you to sit down. “Here.” Hyunjin handed you a handful of coins. “Why don’t you play a few rounds.”   

“How do you play?” You frowned, staring at the money in your hands. 

Hyunjin couldn’t help but laugh. You were so innocent. “Baby, you just place the coin in the slot machine and pull the lever.” 

Hyunjin sat down in a chair next to you and threw a coin in the machine. He pulled the lever, only to see a bell, a seven, and cherries — a losing combination. 

“Why don’t you try?” He smiled at you as you slipped a coin into the machine and pulled the lever. 

Damn. You had two sevens and a bell. 

“Who was that?” You asked about the strange man from earlier. 

“Damien? He’s the leader of the Young Bastards.” Hyunjin chuckled. “He didn’t pick a very good name for his gang.” 

“Would he hurt us?” Your voice got small as you pulled the slot machine again. 

Hyunjin paused to look at you. “I won’t let him hurt us.” 

“Hyunjin,” You paused, frustration and fear getting the better of you. “You can’t promise shit like that.”

“Hey.” Hyunjin shoved your shoulder and giggled to try and lift your spirits. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course, but-” 

“Then trust me when I say that I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe.” Hyunjin’s eyes bore into yours, making you feel butterflies in your stomach.

“Now pull the lever and win us some big money.” He chuckled. 

You giggled and did what Hyunjin said, sighing when you got another losing combination. 

You and Hyunjin played the slot machines, chatting about this and that for a while before you started to see a crowd form at the Poker tables. You heard someone cry out in anguish and several people in the crowd cheer. 

“Hyunjin what’s going on?” You asked, suddenly feeling nervous. 

“People gather around when there’s a high-stakes Poker game going on.” He pursed his lips. “It might be time for us to make an entrance.”

You gulped, feeling a lump in your throat as you grabbed Hyunjin’s hand. 

“Do you think you can do this?” He pulled you closer. “If you look terrified, they’re going to know something’s up. So if you can’t do this—” 

“I can do it.” You cut him off. “Let’s go.” 

You took a deep breath as Hyunjin lead you to the poker table. 

“If it isn’t Hwang Hyunjin!” Damien greeted the two of you once more. “This poor bastard just lost 10 million dollars and his wife!” Damien pointed to a middle-aged man who was sobbing on the floor. “What do you say, Hwang? Do you want to try your hand at beating me?”

Hyunjin pursed his lips. 

This was clearly going to be a game of wits. It was obvious Damien was cheating. Hyunjin could tell by the cards sprawled on the table. One deck of cards doesn’t have two Queen of Spades. He had to be careful. It wasn’t just his life on the line, but yours as well. 

“You’re on.” He smirked, handing the chips to the dealer to check for authenticity. “Come here baby.” 

Oh my god it was happening! 

You took your place beside Hyunjin, the two of you sharing a look before the game started. Hyunjin turned his head, making it look like he was kissing your forehead, but he whispered, “Say the word and we’re gone.” 

Right the code word. 

“Everyone ready?” Once the dealer got the okay from everyone, he shuffled the cards and dealt out two cards to everyone at the table. Hyunjin was positioned in the big blind position, which means he had to put down double of what Damien decided to bet. 

“How much?” The dealer asked. 

“6 million,” Damien smirked as half the table picked up and left, opting to keep their chips in their pockets. 

You couldn’t help but gasp. You weren’t used to throwing that kind of money down on anything. To see Hyunjin put forth 12 million dollars in chips made your stomach turn. 

The rest of the table put forth their bets, leaving nearly 50 million dollars in the middle of the table. Your face paled at the massive pile of chips. 

If Hyunjin lost, not only would he lose a ton of money for Stray Kids, but there was a chance you’d lose your life. 

You tilted your head, looking to see what cards Hyunjin was holding in his hands. He’s got a 9 of spades and a 5 of clovers. 

Fuck… He didn’t have what he needed for a royal flush, but he could opt for a high full house. It depends on what cards appear in the flop rounds. The game was left to the cards at this point. 

The dealer revealed two more cards face-up to start the Flop betting round. There was a Queen of Clovers, a 9 of Hearts, and a Jack of Diamonds. 

“Bet.” Hyunjin called out confidently, pushing forward more chips. 

You weren’t exactly sure what was going on, but you trusted him. After all, Hyunjin has been playing poker for a long ass time. 

The dealer turned over the fourth card, starting the post turn betting round. A man paled and rested his head on the table. Either he’s bluffing or he’s truly holding a losing hand. You couldn’t help but feel bad for the poor bastard. 

“Check,” Hyunjin called, pursing his lips, despite the fact that he had a good hand.

“Bet.” Damien smirked at his hand, pushing more chips forward. 

“Fold.” The other man folded, opting to keep what little chips he had left. 

“Raise.” Hyunjin shoved another large stack of chips into the pile. 

What the fuck was happening?

Was he bluffing? 

Damien matched Hyunjin’s bet, sliding a large stack of chips into the center. The table was surrounded by people, watching to see what would happen in this high-stakes Poker game. You couldn’t help but wonder yourself. If Damien wins, does that mean you and Hyunjin can just leave? Were you expected to stay there until he won back the money?

Fuck what was going to happen?

The dealer turned over the 5th and final card. 

This was the final betting round. 

Hyunjin dipped his hand in yours, tapping his index finger on your palm twice. You quickly turned to kiss his cheek, sliding your hand up your dress to grab the card. 

“I know you can do it, baby.” 

“All in.” Hyunjin tucked one of the cards in his sleeve as he reached up to ruffle your hair. 

You grabbed his hand off your head, handing off the 9 of clovers in his hand. You lowered your hand, effectively slipping the 5 of clovers into your garter. It was a quick exchange and you were positive no one saw what happened. 

You exhaled, relief flooding your body until you saw Damien smirk from across the table. 

Did he see?

“Call.” Damien pushed forward some chips. 

Damien and Hyunjin pushed forward their cards, showing their hands. You paled as Damien flipped over a full house. Two queens and three aces. Hyunjin lost. 

He lost everything. 

Your heart dropped in your stomach as you reached for Hyunjin’s sleeve. Maybe you two could call it now? If you called it now, maybe you guys could leave with your lives. 

You looked at Hyunjin’s face to see him smirking at Damien. “You’ve got some tricks up your sleeve Damien.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Damien shrugged. 

Hyunjin merely laughed — a dark laughter that you’ve never heard come out of his mouth. He’s usually such a high-pitched giggly man. You had to admit, this side of Hyunjin frightened you a little. 

“You play poker with one set of cards correct?” Hyunjin chuckled darkly. 

“That’s the only way to play.” Damien chuckled nervously. He blew his own cover. “Why do you ask?”

“I’m asking because I want to know why he has a Queen of Spades?” Hyunjin pointed to a man sitting across the table — his cards flipped up to show another Queen of Spades to match Damiens. 

“He must be cheating.” Damien glared at the man. “Security, take him away.” 

You gasped as a few armed men lurched forward, grabbing the man’s arms. Your fingers tightened around Hyunjin’s sleeve, alerting Hyunjin. He grabbed your hand in his and squeezed, hoping to calm you down. 

“Don’t do that.” Hyunjin chuckled as the guards paused. “He’s right next to the dealer. The dealer would have noticed if he was cheating.” 

Damien threw his head back and laughed maniacally. “I own this joint. Do you really think they’re going to do anything about me cheating?”

“Babe,” you started. It was time to go. You couldn’t stand being there any longer. “I’m getting hungry. Should we go to dinner?”

“No.” 

Your blood ran cold. That was your code. That was the word. You wanted to go and Hyunjin wouldn't let you. 

“We’re playing again, and this time I’m betting with 15 million.” Hyunjin smirked as the dealer handed him 15 million in chips. “If I lose, you get all of my money.” 

“If I lose?” Damien smirked. 

“You give me back what I lost during the last round, and you let us go.” Hyunjin thrust his hand forward. “Sound good?”

“You have a deal.” Damien shook Hyunjin’s hand and sat back at the table. 

The game was purely between Hyunjin and Damien. Everyone else had left. 

The dealer shuffled the cards and handed out two cards each. Hyunjin had two queens. 

So far it was looking good. You had a King stashed in your garter. All he needed was an Ace, a Jack, and a 10. 

Hyunjin and Damien put in their bets, throwing all their chips in the center. 

Wait… what? He didn’t even know what cards were there? Why is he going all-in?

You couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. You could feel it. Hyunjin was being ballsy and Damien was setting up a trap.  

The dealer flipped over two cards, revealing a 10 of Spades and a Jack of hearts. 

You could do it, you could win this. Hyunjin instantly put his hand down, tapping on your palm twice. You giggled and leaned your head against his shoulder, taking the card he stuffed down his sleeve and putting it in your garter. Then you grabbed the King of Spades and…

Oh no…

The card slipped from your hands. 

Hyunjin remained still. “Got a good hand there Damien?” 

He was trying to keep him distracted. 

You thought quick, snapping off one of your acrylic nails and throwing it to the ground. 

“Oh my god, my nail just fell off.” You sighed and bent down grabbing the card and hiding it under your shoe. “I paid big money to get these done. I can’t believe it just…” You lifted your head to see a revolver pointed at your head. 

Before you knew it, Hyunjin had swiped all the chips to the ground, sending various onlookers to the floor to pick up the millions of dollars in chips. The gunman was knocked over in the chaos, giving you an opportunity to crawl under the table to hide from the mess. 

Damien just watched the chaos with a huge smile. “Leaving so soon Hwang?” 

Hyunjin cursed and grabbed your arm harshly, the bruising grip causing you to cry out in pain. You’ve never seen him so violent before. 

You could hear Damien yell, “Tell Stray Kids to watch their backs.” as Hyunjin pulled you out of the Casino. 

Hyunjin burst through the doors and pulled you along the sidewalk. 

You frantically pushed at Hyunjin’s hand. “Hyunjin let go, you’re hurting me.” 

“Shut up.” Hyunjin turned to glare at you before pulling you along the sidewalk again. 

“Should we call Lix?”

“There’s no time,” Hyunjin growled. 

He was beyond pissed. 

Once you two got far enough away from the Casino, Hyunjin released his grip on your arm. He trudged along the sidewalk, refusing to say a word, while you trailed behind him. You looked at your feet as you walked, guilt taking over your emotions. 

You weren’t stupid. You realized how big of a mess you made. Now Stray Kids would be down 27 million dollars and Hyunjin’s cover was blown. 

“I fucked up.” Your small voice stopped Hyunjin in his tracks. 

He tried — oh he tried so hard to keep his temper in check, but your huge fuck up would reflect poorly on him. “You think?” Hyunjin looked over his shoulder, frowning at you. 

“Hyunjin I’m sorry I choked.” 

“No, you didn’t just choke.” Hyunjin scoffed. “You could have killed both of us. All you had to do was hand me the card. We’ve practiced that hundreds of times. How could you fuck that up?”

“I’m sorry.” Your eyes glassed over as you took the verbal lashing Hyunjin gave you. 

“Sorry doesn’t fix what you did in there.” He turned around and started to walk again. 

“Well whatever happened to ‘say the word baby and we’ll leave?’” You mocked. “This isn’t all my fault. I said the code word. You ignored me asshole.” 

“It’s not your fault?” Hyunjin scoffed. “This is one-hundred-percent your fault. We could have won!” His voice raised with each word. 

“Don’t you think I know that?” You sobbed. “I’m sorry. I fucked up. I lost all that money.” 

“You aren’t understanding me,” Hyunjin yelled. “You could have died.” He grabbed your shoulders and shook you with each word. “You. Could. Have. Died.” 

“I know.” You collapsed to the ground and sobbed. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You were so scared in that moment. Hyunjin wasn’t acting like himself. You messed up everything for Stray Kids. You had a gun to your head 10 minutes ago. 

Tears fell down your cheeks. “I never asked for any of this.” 

“Oh hush.” Hyunjin turned away from you. “You asked for this when you accepted this mission. You knew what this was, and yet you agreed.” 

“Well maybe I don’t want this life anymore!” You blurted out. Were these your true feelings? “If that means I have to leave you then so be it.” You had to get out of there. You stood up and turned around, leaving Hyunjin to sort out his emotions.

A heavy dose of reality hit Hyunjin when you started to walk away. “Wait, you don’t mean that do you?” 

You had to take a minute. Of course, you loved him. You loved him so much, but this life was already taking its toll on the two of you. “I don’t know.” You answered. 

Hyunjin paled. “Baby I—” 

A gunshot forced you to turn around. You watched a bullet fly through the air, lodging into Hyunjin’s shoulder, knocking him back. His head hit a stone pillar behind him, knocking him unconscious. You screamed and ducked behind a trash can, eyes focused on the amount of blood pouring out of your boyfriend’s head and shoulder. 

You heard a loud laugh as a GMC drove off, turning the corner quickly so no one could identify the license plate. 

Despite being terrified and weak, you had to get him out of there. Leaving him in the street could get him killed. You ran over to Hyunjin and slipped your arms underneath his armpits. You dragged the poor boy into an alleyway, sobbing as you pulled out your phone and dialed Chan’s number. 

Chan answered on the first ring. “Y/N? What happened?” 

“Hyunjin was shot.” You sobbed into the speaker, pressing onto Hyunjin’s shoulder wound with your unoccupied hand. 

You could hear Chan gasp on the other end. “Where are you?” 

“On the corner of 75th. We’re in an alley behind a Chinese restaurant.” You sniffled. 

“I’ll be there in 5. Press on the wound and make sure he stays awake.” Chan hung up before you could say anything else. 

Well, you’ve already fucked up. Hyunjin was out cold. 

Seeing your boyfriend so… dead looking made you cry even harder. What are you going to do? You loved the boy, despite his flaws and his questionable life decisions. He was sweet and caring. He didn’t deserve to die this way.

A truck screeched as it turned the corner. Felix hopped out of the driver’s seat and opened the bed of the truck. 

“I brought Seungmin. Let’s hurry up and get him in the truck.” Lix gasped when he saw Hyunjin’s freakishly pale skin. “He doesn’t look good.” 

Chan hopped out of the passenger's seat, helping Felix and Seungmin lift Hyunjin in the bed of the truck. You tried to hop in the back, hoping to help Hyunjin however you can. 

Felix put his hand on your shoulder. “You should sit up front with Chan. Seungmin and I will make sure he comes back to you.” He smiled sadly. 

You quickly hopped into the passenger seat, looking forward to heading back to headquarters. 

“What happened in there?” Chan asked as he started to drive home. 

“I fucked up.” You sighed. “I lost you guys 27 million dollars.” 

Chan’s eyes widened. “Wow.” 

You sniffled and started to cry once again. “I’m so sorry.” You sobbed. 

“Hey don’t worry about it.” Chan squeezed your shoulder. “I’m just happy to see the two of you alive.” Chan cringed. “Well, mostly alive.” 

You couldn’t help but tear up as you remembered the argument. “Hyunjin hates me.” 

“Hyunjin doesn’t hate you.” Chan chuckled a bit. “That man loves you more than he loves his dog. That says a lot.” 

“You didn’t hear the way he spoke to me.” You turned in your seat, rubbing your arms to soothe yourself. 

Chan sighed. “Hyunjin gets emotional sometimes. He doesn’t mean what he says when he’s fired up.” Chan paused a moment, thinking of what to ask. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You replied. “Hyunjin is the one who’s hurt.” 

“No.” Chan cut you off before you could say anything else. “I’m not talking about physically.” He rested his hand on your shoulder. “We’re used to seeing guns and having our lives threatened. You’re just a normal girl.” Chan sighed. “You shouldn’t have to watch your boyfriend get shot.”  

“I don’t want to be a normal girl anymore.” You mumbled. “I want to do what I can to protect him.” 

“Hyunjin can protect himself.” Chan replied. “Don’t get any ideas about becoming his savior. That mentality is what gets people killed.” Chan took a deep breath. “But if you want me to show you how to use a gun, and train you to come with us on missions, I can make it happen. You’re the one who’s going to have to tell Hyunjin that it’s what you want, otherwise I’ll have to deal with his wrath.” Chan shivered.

“Hyunjin has wrath?” You chuckled. 

“Do you have eyes?” Chan laughed. “Hyunjin only has wrath when it comes to you.” He smiled. “That boy loves you.” 

You sighed. “I feel like I fucked our relationship up.” 

“Y/N he has a ring.” 

Your heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“He has a ring,” Chan repeated himself. “If he proposes, please act surprised.” 

You felt even worse now. Your boyfriend was going to propose and here you were telling him that you didn’t want to be with him anymore. 

“We’re here.” Chan pulled into the garage and put the truck in park. You could see Felix and Seungmin hop out of the truck and quickly take Hyunjin inside. 

“Hey.” Chan stopped you before you could dart out.

“Hmm?” 

“You need to think about this. Marrying him is agreeing to an unstable life. Can you live with that?” Chan questioned. 

You nodded. 

Chan pursed his lips. “Just think about it okay?” 

“I will.” You smiled and darted inside, hoping to hear good news. 

----------

Hyunjin’s brows furrowed as he came to, wondering what happened. Where was he?

He could feel a light pressure on his shoulder. Hyunjin’s eyes fluttered open as he looked around the room, hoping to figure out what happened. 

He was in the infirmary in the house… 

Suddenly pieces of the night came back to him. 

A gun, someone pointed a gun at your head. Where were you? You weren’t shot, right? 

Hyunjin shot up in bed, alerting Seungmin and the boys. “Y/N.” He called for you. 

Seungmin popped into the room. “Hey, buddy. It’s nice to see you awake.” Seungmin grabbed one of Hyunjin’s hands, squeezing lightly. 

“Where is she? Tell me where is she?” Hyunjin teared up. You can’t be dead. You can’t be… Tears rolled down his cheeks as he repeatedly called your name, hoping you were okay. Why wasn’t anyone telling him if you were okay?

“Hyunjin?” You poked your head in the room, instantly calming the poor boy. He collapsed back in the bed, sobbing as he regained bits of his memory. You rushed over to his side, slipping into the bed and holding him close. “I’m here.” You kissed his forehead and ran your fingers through his hair to soothe him. “I’m okay.” 

“I thought you were dead.” Hyunjin sniffled. “There was a gun.” 

“You saved me.” You couldn’t help but tear up. “I thought I was never going to see you again.” 

Hyunjin chuckled and nuzzled into your embrace. “I don’t die that easy.” 

----------

Taking care of Hyunjin while he was healing was no easy task. He was such a finicky boy, always asking for you to come cuddle him for various reasons. 

“But baby I’m cold.” 

“But baby, I want to hold you, it makes my arm feel better.” 

“I might have a nightmare without you.” 

Even though he was a pain in the ass, you loved taking care of him. It took him a month to get back to full health, and you couldn’t help but worry for him when his next mission popped up. 

You were wandering around the house wondering where he ran off to. Hyunjin had been a bit more distant lately. Not that he wasn’t constantly attached to your hip, but he wouldn’t talk about his worries. 

“Hyunjin?” You poked your head into the bar, seeing him sitting at a poker table staring at a deck of cards. “You okay?”

Hyunjin chuckled and threw the cards on the table. “I’m scared.” Your heart broke when he turned around, eyes tired as though he didn’t sleep a wink last night. “I shouldn't be, but I am.” 

“What do you mean you shouldn’t be scared? Hyunjin you got shot last time.” You wrapped your arms around him. “You have every right to be afraid.” 

Hyunjin sighed, covering your hands with his. “Have you ever heard stories from people who have near-death experiences?”

You leaned your head against his chest and squeezed tighter. “Yeah, I’ve heard a couple.” 

“Most people see their lives flash before their eyes.” He paused. “All I saw was you.” 

You released your hold on him so he could look you in the eyes. He looked frightened.

“I saw our first kiss, our first date, our first time together…” Hyunjin trailed off. “Then I saw what could have been the end of us… and it was all my fault.” 

Hyunjin dropped down to one knee. “I love you and I want you by my side forever.” He paused, taking your hand in his. “I know you might not want to live this kind of life, but, will you—” 

“Yes!” You blurted out. 

Hyunjin chuckled. “I didn’t ask yet.” 

“Okay.” You giggled and waited. 

“Will you —” 

“Yes.” You replied making him laugh. 

“Will—”

“Yes.” You cut him off once again. 

“Y/N please.” He laughed and pulled out a small velvet box. “Will you marry me?”

“Fuck yes.” You leaped into his arms, giggling as he lifted you up and spun you around. He slid the ring onto your left ring finger and pressed a passionate kiss to your lips. 

You held him closer, rubbing your noses together as you said “Now I don’t want you to leave on this mission. I want you to stay home with me.” 

Hyunjin giggled. “I’m not afraid anymore.” 

“Oh yeah?” You pecked him on the nose. “And why’s that?”

“I have you to come home to.” 

[jlf23tumble]

Hey, hope ur having a good day so far, I mostly read drarry and larry but then if I enjoy the author I'll just read whatever they write, I just went through the anonymous unicorn collection again and I thought of you - I know u read a bunch of different pairings so my what are some of the smuttiest fics you'd rec, pairing not super important as I trust your taste💌

I've been pondering this ask for two days because real talk, I LOVE PWP, short shorts are my absolute fave, any fandom, and of my approximately 1,000 bookmarks, I'd say 75% of them fit this ask, so it's kind of hard to figure out how to narrow it down, argh--I'll give a few under the cut! I love you, though, because hard same! If I find an author I love, I dive sideways and/or subscribe so I can just see what they're up to, the true joy of fic, tbh. If you want more in a particular pairing below, just ping me, but the true and sad facts are that a) I only got good with using the bookmark function two or three years ago, so rip to a whole BUNCH of fics I love and can never hope to find again, b) many of my faves have been deleted, and c) there's no way this list is complete, I've just accepted it and moved on. Top of head below the line!

Hello again! I overthought this a lot and decided to give myself a break by giving you a sampling of one in each pairing I love/currently read in, with a few more in Larry since you read that (I have read so much GREAT Drarry, but it's before I bookmarked and on some of those special servers, wah)...let me know what you thinks!

First off, I'm gonna just say flat out that my two faves are sirtranscelot and objectlesson -- I adore Blake and Phoenix as people and dear friends, but I can guarantee you that you'll happily read a pairing you've never even SEEN and walk away obsessed, their smutty fics are unparalleled, truly. I mean, Phoenix even wrote a Great British Bake Off fic for me, and it's a pairing you'll be hard pressed to see more of, but my GOD, is it good! I got to know both of them through their Man from UNCLE fic, so if you've seen that movie, run don't walk to their respective pages for it--my beloveds! This is a time-saver move, too, because a lot of fics I love in different pairings are best handled by them, so find a show you love, then jump in! I'll put other pairings/authors below by category.

Columbo

Quasi una fantasia, prescriptionshorts. Benelumbo! Not really PWP, there's angst, etc., but wow, I loved it, I love this pairing in general. Super small fandom, so easy to find--Columbo with anyone, a gift.

Star Gate Atlantis

Tsunami, goldleaf1066. I just subscribed to this mcshep (sp?) author recently, and I am LOVING everything I've seen??? There are some others I love, too, including some from ao3's founder.

The Untamed

take it off for me, for me, for me, gdgdbaby. It's too hard to pick one from this author, they are UNPARALLELED in this fandom for pwp, at least to me! But a lot of every fandom's very best authors are in this one, fwiw--you can't go wrong!

Cobra Kai

Lawrusso drabbles and ficlets, pohjanneito. A bit of a cheat because this is an ongoing collection, but this pairing is ANGST CITY, so finding a pure and happy pwp is a bit challenging, doesn't matter, this collection always delivers!

The Man from UNCLE

I'd Like To (Put My Fingers on You), colonel_bastard. See above about Phoenix and Blake, TRULY GOD TIER, but this one is so good and this pairing in general has a lot of great fic (that moved on to FinnPoe in many cases)

Star Wars

Hold Me Down, coffeeinallcaps. This fandom has an interesting trajectory for this pairing in terms of writers, so it's a mixed bag, but I have a lot of faves, including this one!

Hockey RPF

go out and (find a girl), whitchbhitch. It's fact that parens in a title from a certain year/time equal GREAT THINGS, and this is one. I have no idea about these dudes or this fandom, but this is so great to read! So many of your faves write hockey rpf, it's worth a check out!

Louis/Harry

This list is a handful of my fave pwp fics ONLY differentiated because their authors wrote so many of my OTHER fave pwp fics, plus they've written in other fandoms, so it's a win win if you want to dig deep! (I can't even pick my fave LittleMousling, too many pairings/faves, so just dig at will!)

honey is it time to spin, alongthewatchtower, 3k

go as slow as you want to, whensheflies, 5k

The One Who's in Control, quickedween, 5k

that shadow holding me hostage, mercutionotromeo, 6k

i can feel you take control (of who i am and all i've ever known), 9k

it ain't trickin' if ya got it, sarcasticfluentry, 10k

the bootyverse is expanding series, yeah_alright, 21k

[mytrashs-blog]

Movie Star- part 2!

Pairing: BFF! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: She’s a fluffy one... but also not straight away

Summary: You’re trying to save your friendship but the plan changes

Word Count: 3,071 words so buckle up

A/N: This is the last part I will be writing on this and that’s final, cause I had THE hardest time trying to write fluff... I’m an angst author, what can I say? I did love the final result of this, so I hope you enjoy! (Please if you do like it, reblog it so it can be read by more and more people).

Part one is here!!!, and here is my masterlist in case you want to read something else

(Gif isn’t mine, credits go to the owner!)

You’re sitting on the couch, two popcorn bowls sitting on the coffee table, because you like spicy sauce on yours and he finds soggy popcorn disgusting, there’s also two bottles one coke and one water, because you can’t stand fizzy drinks, but it’s his cheat day so he’ll take advantage. You’re both on the same couch, but you’re in your side, he’s in his, there’s two blankets and there’s no touching, not even accidentally, not even casually, none at all.

Frankly you’re even surprised you agreed to see him again after that one time you went out for coffee with him to come up with a peace treaty. It’s not that you don’t want things to go back to normal, it’s just that you don’t know what “normal” is for both of you anymore, you’re very sure there is no such thing after all the drama you went through a year ago. But you’re willing to try.

The movie has been going on for a while and you haven’t exchanged a word for the whole time, you intentionally decided to play a good movie so that you wouldn’t get the chance to start talking, so Pulp Fiction is playing, funny enough it’s your first time watching it and you’ve never been a big fan of Tarantino’s films, but you haven’t let Tom (your former best friend) see you yawning under your blanket. Thank Lord your thoughts drift away unitl the movie ends, but then you start getting anxious, you’ve been dreading this moment because you just know he’s gonna tell you something. And he does.

“What’s wrong? You didn’t say a word in like two hours and that’s not very you from you” he offers in an insecure manner, and that’s not very Tom from Tom.

“There’s… nothing wrong, Tom… I just don’t know what to say to you anymore. I don’t know who you are, we’ve been out of each other’s lives for a year. Last time we actually spent time together we destroyed our friendship. And then we attacked each other for the months that followed. We haven’t had a proper conversation in more than a year, A YEAR. And I’m not saying I don’t want us to be friends anymore, I just don’t know how to start.”

He stares at you for a few seconds, you can see he’s calculating his next dialogue, he really doesn’t want to fuck up the babies steps you’ve taken to fix things, and you don’t either so you wait for him.

“We…” he starts but soon stops again, thinking once more of an apropriate way to say things “We can’t really go back to the way things were before, because we were doing a lot of things wrong to begin with. I don’t want to have what we had before… I want to start fresh. You don’t know the new me and I don’t know the new you. So let’s get to know each other.”

That was the corniest speech you’ve ever heard. If you weren’t so moved by it, you’d be laughing at his face, but instead of doing that, you tried to follow along with the corny theme, so you reached your hand out for him to strech it and said “Hi, my name’s (Y/N), nice to meet you”.

He did chuckle at that but he took your hand regardless, offering one of those relaxed smiles you haven’t seen in over a year “I’m Tom, nice to meet you too”.

You kept hanging out a lot more often since that day, things were picking up a nice pace and you were getting more and more comfortable around him everyday. Sure, things changed, but they changed for the better. He made sure to take you to a lot of the fun things he did sometimes and you even invited him to the recital of the dance academy where you teach, which was a mistake because he had to smile and take pictures all afternoon with little girls and a bunch of moms… and the ocassional dad who actually cared about his role on spider-man and not only his beautiful biceps. Not that you were paying attention to the fact that he was getting buff again to reprise his role, no, he’s your friend, you don’t look at those things. You noticed because the moms noticed.

It was nice to fall back into your habit of late night phone calls to tell each other the latest gossip around your lives, you also missed sending him the most random, wackyest gifs at the most inconvenient of times and you missed him offering to drive you to places, maybe even go buy your groceries together.

Soon enough the press found out you were hanging out again and you were not safe from paparazzi for a solid amount of two weeks until it stopped being interesting, but of course half of the stories were written along the lines of “From bff to enemies to lovers? Is Tom Holland dating long time bestie (Y/N)?” and just like you did all those years ago when he was just becoming Hollywood’s newest hearthrobe you got together to laugh about what the tabloids were writing.

There was only one problem. You kinda were catching feelings.

It’s just that he had changed so much. He wasn’t mean aymore, to anyone and it’s not even that he went back to being the nice guy he was before the fame, he was even better, because he had matured so much and he knew just how much he meant to the people around him, so he made sure to let them know how grateful he was of having them around and it was so nice to see him become such a well rounded man. Regardless of all that, you know that it is a very stupid idea to come up like “Yo, I have a big fat crush on you” right now, because… you just got back to being friends! so you resolve to keep your mouth shut and your feelings at bay.

This one day Tom texted you asking if you wanna grab a bite, he’s at a table reading nearby so you accept and you get sushi because you’re basic like that, but he’s acting all weird today. He’s been staring at you for a little too long now and his gaze has been falling to your lips a few times now, which would be less weird if you weren’t currently stuffing your face with a salmon sushi roll.

You’ve been trying to get him to be less weird, asking about the script, his cast mates and all, but he’s just not cooperating and just keeps doing this thing that he does when he’s nervous where he justs sits there all stiff and plays with whatever he has in his hands, which right now it’s chopsticks and that makes it way too annoying, because it makes a lot of noise, so you decide enough is enough and just go straight against him. “Thomas “some middle name that you hate me calling you” Holland, what on earth is going on with you today?”

He abruptly stops with the chopsticks and you’re so grateful for a second, but then his attention shifts to his watch and it’s pressing your buttons pretty terribly, but then he decides he can actually talk. “Sorry uh… I’ve just been thinking… about… life?”

“What the hell do you mean? And don’t give me any bullshit answer cause you know I’ll know.”

You see him get visibly flustered, but he takes a deep breath to talk, “I’m just… I have been thinking…”

“Oh really? first time I take it” you laugh to lighten the mood that suddenly got terribly heavy.

“Oh, shut up… No, but really. It’s just that we’ve come such a long way, not only recently but overall in the course of the, what? 17 years? that we’ve known each other, you know? and I have been thinking that these past months our relationship has changed so much…”

Is he…?

“And I just think that we’re at a place where we could just try…”

Shit, he is.

“To go somewhere new, you know?”

Holy fuck… he most definetely is!

He falls silent and is looking at you waiting for your reaction, but you’re so shocked that you just haven’t even thought about what you’re going to say to him!

“When you say ‘somewhere new’ what does that mean?” you go for a question, just to get things clear as water before totally reacting.

“I just mean that.. I’ve realized just how much I like you, for real. No safety net here. I want to be with you and I can’t go for another 17 years pretending that I don’t”

For all you know you might just have choked on your sushi, but you haven’t so you decide to swallow whatever is still in your mouth and it’s hard, but mainly because air has just left your lungs. “I… don’t know, I mean… I can’t deny that I have felt that way, but I’m scared. Like what if it doesn’t work out? It’s been hard enough to go back to being friends after a ‘friend break up’ imagine if it was a real, real break up? Would we be able to recover?”

“I know. I’m aware that this is not a simple thing to do, I don’t expect you to just say yes and jump right into my arms. That’s just not your style. Do you want to maybe sleep on it?”

And you do. It’s the worst night of your life though. You’re restless all night, just can’t get your brain to shut up. How are you supposed to “sleep on it” if there is no sleep involved? You roll on you side for what feels like the millionth time and you see the time… it’s almost three in the morning and you haven’t been able to even blink. It’s just… You want to be with Tom so bad, you do! But you also know that you’ve never been good at relationships, they just never last, and then there’s the fact that you have extreme trust issues because almost every guy you’ve ever been with has cheated on you, and you don’t want be paranoid and crazy around Tom, but you just know at some point you won’t be able to hold it in. And for fucks sake! He’s an actor! He will have to kiss other girls for work and… you just don’t want to even think about it… but also, those girls are waaaay prettier than you are.

But on the good side, no one knows Tom like you do, he has never cheated on any girl ever, he’s a real gentleman, and you already have your fingerprint stored in his phone and you do know all his social media passwords which he doesn’t even know how to use so there’s no way he notices the thousands of girls sliding into his dm’s, you also have already met all his friends and family so you can skip all that awkward part of new relationships. How weird would it be to kiss Tom?

He does have very nice lips and he’s constantly using chapstick so they must be very soft, and you’ve seen him kissing actresses before and they’ve never complained about him being a bad kisser, and it’s not like you never thought about that. To be completely honest you’ve imagined how it would be to do way more than just kissing your best friend, which is normal… right? everyone fantazises about their best friend at least once in their life. Difference being that you spent about seven years doing so, if not more.

So if you’ve been in love with him for so long now, and you were able to forgive him for being an asshole and then he changed for the better after thinking he’d lose you then why not give it a shot? It can’t go wrong. You’ve already proved you’d rather die than not have each other in your lives, so even if it’s doesn’t work as a romantic thing you may still be able to save your friendship, right?

You were finally able to fall asleep at 4 a.m. and unsurprisingly, you did dream about you and Tom during your normal movie night, only you’re all curled up on each other, one of his hands is soothingly running through your hair and the other one is on your waist but slipping dangerously low, he ocassionally places a kiss on top of your head and you just feel extremely relaxed, it’s such a bliss of a dream, but then you wake up.

You want to text him the second you wake up, but you still want to keep thinking about it, just because you don’t want to say yes based on a really nice and domestic dream you had, so you make yourself a really nice breakfast and head to work which involves chill dancing around all day, and dance was always a nice way to analize things, at least to you. Also, not thinking is the perfect way of deciding wether you want something or not. By the time you’re done for the day, you’re ready to text Tom.

You ask him to meet you at yours as soon as he has some free time, and around an hour later, the doorbell rings and it’s him. God, you haven’t been this nervous over a guy since middle school, it is borderline ridiculous, but you gotta keep it together. It’s just Tom. Tommy, the guy that wears Hello Kitty pajamas and ties his hair in tiny pony tails when it starts getting too long, he’s the same guy that will regularly asks you how to spell “though” correctly. Just Tom.

You open the door and he looks just as nervous as you are, but you let him in and, as if he’s never been here before, he just stands there by the front door until you ask him to go to the living room. He plays with his hands and tries to clean off the sweat that he probably has all over his hands in his trousers, and you do the same. Just to be safe.

You’re sitting on oposite ends of the room, both of you visibly giddy and jumpy, but you’re so silent that a needle falling would be audible in the whole room. So you try to speak.

“H-how was your day, Tom? Everything okay?”

“Yeah… all normal, pretty chill. You?”

“Normal, just the regular.”

And you fell back into silence for a bit over a minute that felt like years. Unitl you decided you needed to speak again.

“So.. about the thing you told me yesterday…”

“Yes, tell me. Did you think about it?”

“Yeah, I did. You know, we’ve been through a lot together and you know that. I am extremely afraid of losing you forever and I need to tell you that being in good terms with you is my number one priority.”

Tom’s face stays serious as he listens to you, his hands are clasped together to avoid fidgeting, but he hasn’t noticed that his leg is rapidly bouncing up and down to compensate  on that field.

“But even with all that I just keep thinking that it just makes sense, you know? You and me together.”

He looks up at you and his eyes are glowing with hope.

“I… have been in love with you for such a long time and I feel like the longer that time goes by, the harder it is to bear it. So I want to jump in full force. Who cares if it doesn’t work?”

He smiles bright now, he even tries to bite his lip to contain it from looking so absurdly stupid, but he doesn’t. He looks just as excited and ready to do this as you do.

“We’ve already been through the worst case scenario and we managed to salvage and make it even better, so I think that even if this doesn’t end up being a bad idea… we’ll be able to stay together anyway.”

And the room falls back into silence, but this one it not overwhelming, the atmosphere feels a lot more hopeful and excited. Tom is just looking at you with a smile on his face and you are looking straight back, feeling anxious about the uncertainty of what is supossed to happen now.

At that moment, Tom stands up and walks towards you, never breaking the eye contact. He extends his hand for you to take it and stand up, so now you’re facing each other, mere inches away, you’re so close you can see the little freckles that decorate the bridge of his nose, and looking in his eyes you can see that he has tiny speckles of darker brown around in his irises.

“I’m gonna kiss you now, is that okay?” he tells you, voice barely audible, you doubt anyone else would’ve been able to hear it, but that makes it so indulgently intimate, so insead of nodding, you decide to say yes in an equally low volume even though you’re the only two people in the house, you want this moment to be yours and for it to stay only in your own tiny bubble.

He smiles before slowly leaning in, time goes painfully slow, but you’re almost unbothered about that, you want to cherish the moment as much as you can. He stops when his lips are barely brushing yours, so you take that last step and lean to seal the remaining space between you two.

You had been holding hands until now that his hands want to move to your waist, but you need something to keep you leveled, cause everything is spining so you place yours on his forearms. Kissing Tom made you feel so stupid. Why did it take you so long to do this? This is clearly where you had to be all this time. His lips feel like coming back home after a long and miserable day, he feels like home. This moment feels like putting in the finishing piece in the puzzle and feeling like all that you went through was worth it, because it gave you this. and that is all that matters.

...

Tagging some people to avoid the flop: @caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki @madmadmilk @hollandrecs @starksparker @sunshinehollandd, @thatswhaticallfanfiction​, @rachaeldonnaspiteri1​, @writing-appreciation​, @allieandcoffee​, @ladythena​, 

[chaoslordjoe]

#BlackSunWeek2020 Day 2 - Resurfacing

“Fuck this heat…” Nora Valkyrie whined, carrying herself on Yang Xiao Long’s back as Yang took a mental note about how that would’ve been her line.

If escaping Atlas was littered with red tape, then flying (relatively) safely to Vacuo was like duct taping yourself to a revved-up chainsaw. 

There were no AK droids or shell-shocked lumberjack-looking General headasses (seriously James, take your court martial like a man) to drag them into anything they were all just through a month ago into the war.

Still, being escorted to the city by a bunch of Vacuan mercenaries was probably more merciful than whatever haircuts or puffy outfits they were given from their time from being conscripted by Ironwood, probably without authority from the Council (General James “fuck-you-I-have-two-seats-on-the-Council” Ironwood) in the gang’s whole black ops stint.

All things considered, this was a lot more welcoming than being drafted into the “Greatest Kingdom’s” side of the war with how they weren’t so great and hiding how much their leadership sucked at communicating with one another.

Politics. The brass. Martial law. Friendly fire incidents. Good times.

Ruby trudged ahead of the group, with Qrow trying to save the water in his flask while he was surprisingly adamant in pushing forward through the dunes. It was a good thing that he sobered up in time for this trip, knowing how it would be hell on dehydration.

“At least we’re not…Having to face any AK droids for a while.” Weiss thought out loud.

“Come on, Weiss-cream.” Yang grunted. “Maybe we’ll get you a new manicure by the time we arrive at Shade.” She joked.

Weiss shook her head.

“She might need more than a manicure.” Ren interjected.

“No-no, she’s right.” Weiss mentioned. “Heiress or no, I think we could all use a touch-up.” She concluded, wincing at the idea of sand going down her dress.

“I hate sand.” Jaune spoke next. “It’s coarse, rough, irritating and it- -“

“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE.” Yang warned.

“…And it gets everywhere.” Jaune taunted.

“I’m gonna smash your balls when we get home.” Yang said with a glare to him.

“How do- -How do you know I’m not into that?” Jaune remarked.

“Guys, can we please argue about which trilogy had the worse writing later?” Ruby begged.

“Much as I would like to learn about movies outside of my homestead, Ruby’s right.” Oscar spoke. “We’re almost there, then we can relax before meeting Theodore.” He added.

Qrow looked over, thankful that at least Ozpin insisted that they still act like teenagers in between all the missions and such. One thing he certainly got right.

“Hey, buddy.” Qrow said to the caravan leader. “How much further?”

“Almost dere, Mr. Branwen.” He spoke, inspecting his weapon behind his shades. “Ya don’t wanna get eaten by a mole crab, do ya?”

“Not exactly.” Qrow grunted.

“Den sit tight, we gonna be dere in no time.”

Soon as they arrived, Professor Theodore had granted the group a hotel to stay at before meeting with her on the Shade campus.

A rare sight this type of hotel was in Vacuo. Let alone something with this many accommodations. Soon as the gang arrived, a cold shower was in order followed by orders from Theodore to relax before the big meeting.

QROWBYJNR sat in the hotel’s pool area, finally being able to catch a breather along with some cooling off in the drink. Oscar stood at the corner reading one of Ozpin’s journals away from the group.

Blake decided to accompany him in the reading with a copy of <i>Zaibatsu Unlimited</i> she had meant to continue reading for a while now. Sort of a corporate espionage thriller about a power struggle between Mistral’s corporate elite in a deadly arms race on the stock market.

Ren sat with Weiss and Nora, figuring a tan wouldn’t hurt with how they were gonna be here for a while. Jaune got to work on a game of pool volleyball teaming up with Ruby, while Yang and Qrow played against them.

Oscar looked up with a cocked eyebrow, observing his friends finally being able to relax for the time being. He looked back at the Ozpin journal that he retrieved from the Atlas vault, then back and forth at the gang while he spoke to Oz privately.

Penny for your thoughts. Oscar spoke.

As long as you are all rested for this whole journey. He said.

Oz. How do you feel about reunions after living for so long? The host asked.

You are asking me? The wizard replied. Well, I suppose apart from all the betrayals and twists/turns I’ve been part of lately, I would say that reunions are best saved for when you can savor the moment.

Yeah. Oscar thought. If Theodore is in on it, feels like we gotta make it on our own. Did you miss Theodore?

”Missing” would imply that I would be welcoming to the Headmistress. I am not easily welcoming on the inside, Oscar. Perhaps I am the wrong person to ask about this.

Oscar squinted.

I get that we have to be more careful and not trust anyone, but you could at least act like you care. Your former students could be here too.

I suppose. Ozpin said with a sigh. Perhaps you are better equipped for this since only a select few people know that we are one at this time.

Because I’m a teenager like the others here? He interrogated.

No, I just feel that you are a more appealing individual in your age group. The wizard answered. Just so nobody else is out to kill us.

“Wow.” Oscar scoffed out loud, briefly catching Blake’s attention. Just put an arrow above my head of how cute I’m supposed to be while you’re at it.

Ruby roared, banking the volleyball around Yang. But Qrow briefly shifted into a bird, headbutting the ball right between the team leaders who dodged it.

“Hey, that’s cheating!” Jaune barked.

“Oh yeah?” Qrow said as he shifted back into a man. “Well, you’ve got banana hair!” He said as he shrugged at his blonde niece.

Weiss raised her sunglasses, squinting at the Huntsman’s remark while she turned around onto her stomach to tan her back next.

Jaune retaliated, by throwing the ball back in an attempt to get Yang to tilt by punching the ball open. Nora looked up from her seat, seeing her boyfriend meditating as he and her finally got a form of that beach day that she wanted so bad.

“I believe that Qrow has run out of remarks from Mr. Xiao Long’s joke book.” Ren observed.

“Feh.” Nora said with a shrug. “Just let him ramble, Renny.”

Ruby tried to Petal Burst her way around the net, only to create a cyclone which nearly sucked in Jaune. Qrow’s misfortune kicked in, causing the ball to hit Ruby in the side of her head at whoever tried sending it back.

“Oww, dang it!” Ruby cried out as she regained her footing the water. “Watch where you’re throwing!” She argued.

“Now who threw that?” Weiss inquired, raising her shades, and stopping at the familiar face before her.

Said familiar face had winced at his shot with Qrow attempting (and failing) to casually avoid the scene while Jaune carried Ruby out who rubbed her head.

“Sorry!” The familiar face shouted. “I didn’t mean to- -Sorry, guys!” He spoke.

Blake looked up at the voice, who wore yellow/blue swim trunks and had a noticeable monkey tail. She immediately got up, tackling her former squeeze from behind who yelped.

“Sun!” She cried out in joy.

“Blake!” Sun Wukong had called in return, setting her down and attempting to give his love interest a hug. 

Blake however, used one of her Shadow Clones to fool him and give the Huntsman an actual embrace after being away for some time.

Weiss sat up, greeting Neptune as well. A nervous meeting on her part due to how little they spoke during Vytal. But Nep was more than willing to let bygones be bygones in showing off his red speedo. Weiss blushed in hoping that she would be the one to clear things up.

Blake and Sun let go from their embrace, as she had never been more alive to see him until now.

“I know it hasn’t been that long.” Blake said first. “I know you pointed out that I didn’t need you anymore, but…Well, considering how poorly Atlas went, I kinda needed to see someone like you.” She sheepishly admitted.

“That bad, huh?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Blake sighed. “I know my hair isn’t properly rendered, either.” She muttered.

“Huh?” Sun asked.

“N-Nothing.” Blake retorted. “Though I imagine you’d probably come up with a better name for it than Yang. Called it the “bi bob” or something.”

“It’s a working title!” Yang argued while busy ogling Sage and Neptune.

“Ruby? Jaune?” Coco Adel asked with her teammates on CFVY not far behind. “What the hell are you guys doing here?” She inquired with lowered shades.

“He-hey, Coco.” Jaune said in an attempt to be suave while healing Ruby’s volleyball-shaped bruise. “See, it’s a funny story. We were called here by Theodore to investigate some Grimm trouble. Like you were…I think.” He flatly stated.

“Heh, great to see you guys too.” Coco spoke. Velvet stood by her side with her hands down. “I’m guessing you could use some lessons on team leadership from me and Sun?” She assumed.

“We are 100% fully functional on being team leaders, thank you.” Ruby argued, having just regained her vision.

“Yet you can’t watch your back at volleyball. Not the best aim there, luv.” Velvet joked. “Right, how about your focus on that Zaibatsu copy compared to Sun's arse and muscles, Blake?” She joked to her cat friend.

“Oh, HA-HA!” Sun angrily replied, blushing.

“It was just a kiss on the cheek, Velvet.” Blake retaliated with an eyeroll.

“I believe ya.” The hare said. “Of course, Sun worded it differently.” She fibbed.

“No he didn't, Bun.” Coco said while giving her friend a skeptical glare behind her shades. Had it not been in public with their First Year friends, she would've given Velvet a stern talking to about who pulled that off better.

While the two lovely ladies of Team CFVY bickered as to who would/wouldn’t get the ball gag, Blake grasped her arm anxiously while Sun awaited her response.

“You, um…Wanna get lunch to make up for lost time?” She hesitantly asked.

Sun instantly beamed, knowing how much of a relief they both needed from Remnant going down the tubes.

“Hell yeah!”

[deathvsthemaiden]

3 4 6 11 13 17 & 23 !!! 🤠🌻

AAAAA ty Annie! 😳💌📖💕💕

3. top 5 books this year?

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin, The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison, Rhythm of War by Brandon Sanderson*, By Light We Knew Our Names by Anne Valente, and Bound by Evelyn DaSilva! And this is cheating but I read way less than usual this year and it’s hard to compile a top 5 because of it, so: I read the short story collections The Refugees by Viet Thanh Nguyen and How Long ‘til Black Future Month? by N.K. Jemisin and my faves from each respectively were I’d Love You To Want Me and The Elevator Dancer.

I’m gonna cheat again and list one manga (Spy x Family, unbelievablyyy satisfying and fun) and some of my favorite works by mutuals also. This year Eve @pinkafropuffs published plenty of fanfics in addition to Bound, but if I had to choose one recent favorite I’d say: May Flowers Bloom Wherever You Wander. Such a spectacular, magical end to a delightful series, everything fell together so so wonderfully 💞🌸 highly recommended reading her fanworks even if you’re not familiar with the fandoms!! Ari @haldimilks published Burnish, Burn, a Heathcliff centric Wuthering Heights story that I think about and revisit often<33 You also don’t necessarily have to read Wuthering Heights before reading it and the website it’s on classifies it as a 10 min read so! you have nothing to lose 👀🔥 Ilika @sheherazade wrote and it went unsaid. a Queen’s Thief one shot that blew me away! Her love for this series is contagious and she perfectly nailed the complicated feelings and sincerity between Gen and Irene imo 👑📚

*It came out this year but I only read the preview chapters, so like barely a fraction of this brick of a book, but like.... it’s the fourth book in the series and I know in my bones I’ll love it and I deliberately didn’t screen myself from 60% of spoilers because I’m so impatient and I’m so so EXCITED to finish it next year uff 🤒🤒 and hopefully do the same with the same author’s new novella, Dawnshard, also.

4. Any new authors you love?

Grady Hendrix (my kind of horror/supernatural thriller! love his ideas and he executes them very well too), Toni Morrison (I could read her prose forever. was legit sad for a bit when I reached the end of TBE)

6. anything you meant to read but never got to?

GQISJWJ so many books.... SO many it’s not even funny! I have this thing about reading a landmark number of books every year because anything else makes my brain itch uncomfortably so I was gonna read 5-10 more books than I did last year (125) and had to bite the bullet and chop it down to 75 books last month...the universe’s way of gently knocking me down a peg and reminding me the one thing I can never be is consistent 😌 (I’m kidding) anyway I complied a list of books I DEFINITELY plan to tackle come 2021 and a lot of it is compromised of books I had planned to read and/or started this year! Like The Count Of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, The House at Baker Street by Michelle Birkby, Bending the Willow: Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes by David Stuart Davies, The Book of Collateral Damage by Sinan Antoon, Thorn by Intisar Khanani, The Professor and Vilette by Charlotte Brontë, and The Bear and The Nightingale by Katherine Arden. (So mostly a bunch of Sherlock Holmes adjacent stuff and fairytale retellings.... mecore as hell 🤭)

11. favorite not newly published book?

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin hands down but also most of Sherlock Holmes in general. Some of my top favorites of what I’ve read so far are: A Study in Scarlet, A Scandal in Bohemia, The Beryl Coronet, The Speckled Band, The Norwood Builder, A Case of Identity, The Adventure of the Copper Beeches, and The Adventure of the Gloria Scott.

13. least favorite books of the year?

Mexican Gothic by Silvia-Moreno Garcia (I was SO excited for this one! it just felt unpolished in terms of plot direction and I questioned a lot of the writing choices... it’s title is basically just a concept and that’s what the book felt like and it unfortunately wasn’t satisfying), The Door in the Hedge by Robin McKinley (short story collection and McKinley’s works in general are hit or miss for me and this was a collection of misses 🤕 too much description and not enough plot or substance in these particular retellings that were played too straight, like no twists or changes leapt out at or hooked me), And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie (I went into it knowing the original title and more about Christie in general than I wished to, but even without that... I just did not feel for any of the characters and was relieved every time one of them finally bit the dust), A Woman is no Man by Etaf Rum (don’t get me started.... I’ll just say I’m unfortunately aware of why non-Muslims ate this one up and I don’t like it. Tragedy p*rn and not even of the author’s own experiences. Reinforces too many stereotypes and is not a story about Muslims I think American/Western/whatever readers need to be exposed to rn.)

17. surprised by how good they were:

My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante (that end!! Very excited to see how the main characters’ lines progress in the next few books), The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix (this was SUPPOSED to be a popcorn read but I got SO invested it was magical), Pachinko by Min Jin Lee (one of those meandering books that follows generation after generation, dull at times but ultimately I liked the level of detail every other character got like? The author clearly knew what she was talking about and I enjoyed the overall picture she painted of the time periods the book takes place in. The duller parts were necessary and worth it), When The Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka (I just loved the prose of this one and how quick a read it was. None of the main characters had names either which intrigued me a ton and worked in the story’s favor)

23. fastest time it took to read a book?

Mm. The audiobook to The Yellow Wallpaper was like 45(?) min long GWHSHWH I also read Dostoyevsky’s short story A Novel in Nine Letters, which was short and snappy, and I’m also in the middle of reading An Honest Thief and Other Stories, also by him, which I probs won’t finish till next year but the first story was also easy breezy. I’ve mostly read short stories in 1-2 sittings this year, to keep me sane in between homework and freaking out, so I could go on but those stick out to me!