#is this even coherent. does this say anything meaningful

[welcomingdisaster]

thinking about a discussion i saw this morning (please accept these very half developed ideas!) and i do think that part of the reason that the silmarillion fandom pays less attention to female characters (outside of misogyny, which is also a huge part of it) is that basically every single woman is a wife, and most of them are mothers?

i can't help but notice that the majority of popular male characters are unmarried and childless (looking at ao3 statistics, with the notable counter-examples of elrond, who is very often a child in fanfic, and feanor, arda's most divorced elf). which is possibly because many of the most influential male characters in the silmarillion are unmarried and childless, but it does feel a little disproportional.

some very disorganized thoughts on this phenomenon, presented with very little confidence because i'm just bouncing ideas around:

queer ships are far more popular in the fandom as it stands now, because it is heavily queer, and there is very little woman-to-woman interaction in the silm. the majority of the most popular m/m ships are based on some meaningful interaction between the characters. many of f/f ships involve characters that have never met (indis/miriel, finduilas/nienor) or have very limited interactions (thuringwethil/luthien). ------------ this does not explain, however, why m/m ships between people who have no interactions at at all (erestor/glorfindel, celebrimbor/maeglin, etc) routinely get more attention than f/f ships.

basically every woman's story is defined in relation to her husband's (and usually children). idril, i think, is the semi-outlier here (and to some extent aredhel). but even then -- the majority of the male characters, even if they are married, have a lot of story outside of their marriage/relationship (so much so that characters like finrod, fingon, and angrod can go from married with children to unmarried in some drafts have very little changed!). can that be said of any married female character in the text? i don't think so. once a woman in the silmarillion marries and has children, the progression of her story is almost always defined very heavily by her relationship to her husband and children. fingon rules the same and dies the same whether or not he has a wife and son -- idril's story would be very different without tuor and earendil. feanor gets to do a lot of things after his marriage to nerdanel -- fingolfin does very much after his marriage to anaire. both of the women disappear from the story once their marriages are no longer relevant. ---- here i will note that some male characters ARE heavily defined by their relationships to their families. turgon, whose motivations are very heavily based around the death of his wife and protecting his daughter, comes to mind. so does thingol, whose wife and daughter are equally central to his story. that said, neither of those characters is popular in fandom.

to expand on the previous point: characters whose main stories are romance stories, including male characters, do not tend to be very popular. earendil has just under 700 works on ao3. beren has just over 500. (elwing and luthien, for reference, have just over 700 and 800 respectively). despite our love for shipping, the fandom seems to be disinterested in parts of the book with a heavy romance focus. is it possible that the fact that nearly every single woman having a prominent romance arc "turns fandom off" them?

only four unmarried women come to mind as counter examples (watch me miss someone obvious). these are finduilas, haleth, findis, and lalwen. findis and lalwen are footnotes that disappear quickly from the story without being given much to do (which doesn't stop us with erestor or caranthir, but still). finduilas, despite being unmarried, is heavily defined by a tragic love triangle. haleth is the notable exception -- i would say she is more popular in fandom than many women, but less than most male characters. the only real explanations i can give for her getting so little fandom attention is misogyny/bias, the general fact that humans in the silmarillion get less love than elves in fandom, and and possibly her having little connection to any of the other popular characters outside of caranthir.

that being said, i do still think misogyny/the general fandom tendency to ignore female characters in favor of male ones is responsible for a good chunk of the difference. i also really welcome feedback on these thoughts because i feel very uncertain of them. the more i think about it, the more i can find counter-examples and outliers to a lot of the trends i'm talking about here -- perhaps i overgeneralized. is there no coherent analysis to be drawn here?

currently leaning in the direction of "this is a vague but not all-encompassing trend in the text, which affects fandom to some extent without explaining the preference for male characters and m/m ships entirely."

[skele-bunny]

Anything Swissalps please!!

Rubs my grimey little hands together

(obligatory tag for @hypnoneghoul !)

Mountain doesn't really like the caterpillars and worms on his plants in the room, but knows they're very much needed. He's started to get used to them more bc Swiss names them and it's kinda their thing.

"Martin is fuckin' chowing down on this vera right now..."

"I thought Martin eats the peonies?"

"No that's his twin brother Jake."

"Oh.."

Speaking of the plants!!! Swiss is VERY accustomed to them. His stand in Mountain when they aren't there. Always super reactive and love Swiss so so so much. They love holding him, helping him with tasks in the room, and just making sure he's okay. Swiss used them for... Self pleasuring reasons and literally only a minute in before Mountain stumbled in with the biggest hard on ever. He then learned that day that, yes, Mountain can feel and know everything the vines are doing/receiving.

Mountain who courts Swiss with wreaths and bones, flowers delicately picked and meaningful, and even down to foraging for him. Swiss who doesn't know how to court besides quintessence, but it just doesn't feel right. So he does what he does best!! Makes a song for Mountain!! It's kinda an air/water thing, but it's so specifically him that it doesn't really need an elemental label.

I'm sharing part of my hibernation Mountain propaganda and y'all are dealing with it. Mountain is GONE during the winter and Swiss is his hibernation mate even tho he doesn't really sleep like Mounty does. Lottt of grooming, breeding, and feeding as Mountain is running purely on instincts and can't really form coherent thoughts outside of those instincts. He just knows "my mate needs to eat." "my mate doesn't smell like me and I need to fix that internally and externally." Swiss doesn't mind it as he's still able to get up and move around, sometimes leave the room for quick trips to the kitchen and back. Swiss usually curls up on Mountain's torso and he's held sooo tenderly by this big furry beast. He LOVES it.

Mountain wears glasses but he loses them a LOT. Swiss always has an extra pair on him just in case which has come in handy multiple times. Swiss always demands them back once Mountain is done using them. "I'm not letting you lose the only backup pair you have, dork."

Big boy is embarrassed about wanting to be topped, but ohhh Swiss knows. He knows. Loves putting Mountain in the most submissive positions like doggy, missionary, or a mating press, but fuck does Mountain love it. He loves feeling smaller for once, loves watching his yin on top of him just whispering the most embarrassing things you could ever think of.

I've talked about Mistress Judas a few times, Swiss' bdsm persona, but... With Mountain? Ohh at her feet for anything she says. She makes him feel stupid. Weak. Lower. Small. It's what he wants and needs, and she's more than happy to provide. Big on breath play, boot play, and her whip. Best aftercare in the world, and Mountain wouldn't have it any different as he's massaged and given such tender kisses, words, and affections.

Mountain who sees Swiss as his art form—as art itself. As yin and yang. As everything right in the world. Something something, he's so dumb in love he can't think and just writes all of his love frustration on paper and hands it to Swiss who keeps them safe in a folder he reads through a lot.

Something something they're so in love it's sickening.

[txttletale]

Hey can you explain why so many MLs support DPRK? Like I get that any enemy of the West is probably less bad than Westerners are told, but it's still a hereditary dictatorship! That alone seems like a good reason to strongly oppose its current government even if they do have good trains and are ostensibly "communist" in the face of Western aggression or whatever. It seems like one of the goofiest tankie positions, which I say as someone who's generally sympathetic to a lot of ML arguments.

sure. let's start by drilling down into what 'support' or 'oppose' means--in the vast majority of the world, a marxist-leninist's "support" for the DPRK is in fact neglible. obviously we are not, say, sending the DPRK weapons, or volunteering our labour en masse, or anything that would constitute real material support--because there is nowhere in the world except the DPRK (and perhaps the ROK, but there is of course no organized marxist-leninist mass movement there) where that kind of support would be feasible. likewise, the most strident and pure of heart moral condemnation of the DPRK does not actually have any effect on how that nation is governed--the WPK don't care about your opinion!

so firstly we have to acknowledge that 'supporting' and 'opposing' the DPRK are not especially coherent concepts to apply to MLs (or anybody) in the vast majority of the world. as in all cases, the state you live under the jurisdiction of is the one you are most capable of meaningfully opposing or supporting! and--for most MLs across the world, that state is going to be a participant in the brutal United States sanction program against the DPRK. so when it comes to one's 'position' on the DPRK, as a marxist-leninist one shouldn't be thinking whether they wish to morally condone or endorse the DPRK, but rather what meaningful political struggle they can engage in as regards to the DPRK. and as it turns out, the most meaningful political struggle that marxist-leninists living within the reach of US empire can engage in wrt the DPRK is the struggle against the continued deliberate starvation of that nation and its people!

of course, there are many ways to participate in that struggle. but when it comes to ways to participate in that struggle solely by expressing facts or opinions (as in, the kind of "support" or "opposition" you will witness just by following social media feeds, which is what you're asking about)--debunking propaganda about the DPRK and emphasizing the humanity of its residents weakens the ideological base for continued sanctions, while loudly and proudly condemning it--even fairly condemning it, because of course every socialist project has its errors and wrongdoings--contributes to that ideological base.

tldr: if you live outside the DPRK, the only way you can meaningfully 'oppose' its government is by contributing, materially or in propaganda, to the constant USAmerican efforts to destroy it and replace it with something worse. likewise, the only way you can meaningfully 'support' it is by fighting against those very efforts--so of course, marxist-leninists in the world outside the DPRK are going to 'support' the DPRK, because what that means is fighting against the material sanctions regime and its ideological underpinnings

[gittetj]

You've mentioned that you hc Reigen as ace, can you elaborate?

I agree w/ that but can't sort my thoughts out well enough to make a coherent analysis ;w;

Yeah, that's the vibe he gives me. No concrete "evidence" and I don't care all that much about the sexual orientations of fictional characters, but I guess for me, the headcanon comes down to three things:

1) Reigen is super disinterested in other people being attracted to each other. I feel like there are several small examples of this, but first one that comes to mind is that case with the esper who can astral project and uses it to stalk his neighbor. When they discover this, Reigen has such a non-reaction. I've seen a lot of people bring up these panels

which, yeah, but when they find the culprit, Reigen also doesn't express much of an opinion. It's just "it's a stalker, stalking is bad and illegal, this is a job for the police." No more introspection from him, he immediately moves on, it doesn't interest him. Mob is the one doing all the reacting.

2) Reigen never resorts to flirting despite how he's known for bullshitting his way through anything else to complete a job. Like, no matter how horny Studio Bones is for the guy, they can't change this. He could deliberately capitalize on the fact that a considerable amount of his income comes from massaging middle-aged ladies who find him attractive, but he doesn't. It's accidental. It does not even seem like something Reigen thinks about.

3) Reigen's a self-conscious person, yet doesn't act like it bothers him that he's seemingly never been in a relationship before. He explicitly has a crisis over being lonely in the confession arc, but it's about friends and connections and doing something meaningful with his life. Romantic relationships don't factor into it, even though it easily could, considering it has great thematic relevance for Mob who spends the entire story being in love. Not that you can't fall in love with someone if you're ace, this goes a little bit into aro territory I guess, but either way.. it just gives me that vibe. The indifference. I mean, even in chapter 99 when Mob point-blank asks Reigen for advice about Tsubomi, Reigen first asks Serizawa, then looks it up on his phone, exactly like he would with any other topic he doesn't know jack shit about.

Also, at the end of the scene, he muses about what's important in a relationship, and his conclusions just.. don't sound like he's talking about romance? To me?

I don't know, that entire scene gives me flashbacks to being younger and not yet knowing what asexuality (or aromanticism) is and having to navigate conversations like that without giving away that you fundamentally can't relate to this thing everyone else is so preoccupied with.

Them's my takes, I don't have much else to say about it.

[lili-of-the-wildfire]

okay fine, u all forced my hand in this one. these are MY azzie headcanons, mostly based on what’s canon in the books but i’m nothing if not a woman who would have been forcefully lobotomized so there’s also some delusion sprinkled in. enjoy 😙 (not proof read or correctly punctuated or even coherently arranged, we die like men on this blog)

* he may be a bit quiet in some situations, especially when meeting people who’s intentions he hasn’t quite figured out yet, but if he does nothing else, he’ll offer up a small smile in greeting. he’s not just going to sit there aloof in a corner, sans introduction.

* he’s a total vibe reader tho, his line of work has made sure of that. like he just knows when something is off about someone even if there is evidence saying otherwise. and he’s right every time, damn him.

* he tucks his hands behind his back out of habit, not necessarily shame. he used to be far more insecure, but as the centuries dragged on, he’s become less and less ashamed of what was done to him as a defenseless child.

* that’s not to say he’s fully healed and moved forward, just that time has given him some perspective and wisdom.

* (btw he loves hand massages with your lavender and lemon verbena lotion and he is not afraid to admit it)

* when he gets himself into trouble he tries to slink off into the shadows slowly, instead of disappearing all at once. nobody has a problem calling him out on it, but sometimes he honestly does get away with it.

* he has TASTE! he took one look at cassian and feyre’s gods awful decorating and didn’t even remove his outside clothes before he was fixing it.

* he and his mate’s house would look like something out of a Williams Sonoma holiday catalog.

* the two of you would put up lebron numbers on a joint pinterest account in a modern au.

* he’s quick as a whip with his dry humor and comebacks, and while cassian may be his main target, the two of them combined?? Mr. your mother and Mr. two hundred years at least TOGETHER? jesus it’s a wonder rhys came out of Illyria with the ego that he did.

* he differs from his brothers in that PDA is not his jam. he’s not getting blowjobs at the dining room table or fucking in tents while people die outside. he’s definitely not fingering you for the first time in a shabby inn, either. he’s more publicly reserved than that because he favors romance more.

* you know how rhys/feyre and cassian/nesta fucked before they were in any sort of relationship? azzie’s not doing that with someone he genuinely wants to pursue a relationship with.

* consider the following: does a man who’s spent centuries pining after the same woman come off as anything other than a romantic? no, lovely reader, not in the slightest.

* he’s got the softest heart, i just know it. while he’s kind, he has his reserved exterior, but i think once you get past that as a relationship develops, he’s so tender and thoughtful.

* his gift to nesta was so personal and thoughtful despite their superficial relationship, and he expected nothing in return. imagine what he could come up with for someone he knew on a more personal and intimate level!!

* his gifts may not be as over-the-top extravagant as Rhys would prefer, but they’re so well-planned and personal because he actually listens to you! and he watches you! and he takes the time to actually think about what would be useful and meaningful for you (Mor could NEVER, luv u tho baby)

* while he’s not overtly sexual, Azriel is a FLIRT! a shameless flirt! he doesn’t need to resort to poetry because when you exasperatedly tell him “stop trying to distract me, I’m busy!” he just arches a thick brow, looks you up and down and says “make me.”

* BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

* And your cheeks heat a bit because he’s looking at you like he knows exactly what you’d taste like and he’s starving for it and then he just laughs and you realize you’re a fly that got stuck in those honey-trap eyes again

* So you huff and roll your eyes, turning to leave the room but a hand on your wrist tugs your momentum backwards and suddenly there’s another hand cupping your cheek, thumb stroking along your jawline.

* A deep hum rumbles from the back of his throat, his gaze dragging from your mouth up to your eyes, “Do that again, I like watching your eyes roll back for me.”

* ladies/theydies i am PROFUSELY sweating !!!!!!!!!

[transmutationisms]

this hasn't happened to me in a long while, but when I was a kid getting weighed I remember a doctor pulling out a separate BMI chart for Asians with lower cutoffs. this was around a decade ago. no doctors have done this since. is that like, normal? or in any way meaningful?

'normal', unfortunately yes---I don't know that I've heard of doctors actually making up charts for this but it is a commonly held belief among physicians and epidemiologists that BMI cutoffs should be lower for Asians than for whites, because Asians supposedly have higher rates of weight-correlated adverse health outcomes (diabetes, CVD, &c) at the same BMIs.

meaningful is a different matter. there are two major and really damning issues with this belief:

firstly, the (handful of) studies documenting this disparity have all the same issues as any other medical literature on weight and health. we don't actually have good evidence to say that weight causes these health outcomes; it's difficult to disentangle environmental factors, or the fact that disease can often cause the weight gain itself, as in the case of diabetes or 'metabolic syndrome'. weight stigma, not interchangeable with weight itself, has a massive and documented negative effect on health outcomes. also, as far as I can tell, most if not all of the studies on this particular question seem to have been done using Asian-American subjects specifically, so that opens a whole host of further statistical ambiguities: you're talking about immigrant populations in the US. physicians love to interpret shit like this as evidence of biological racial differences instead of probing questions like: does this suggest that Asian immigrants to the US are subjected to forms of marginalisation that cause particular health effects? and the usual critiques of weight science include the problem that long-term deliberate weight loss is not achievable for th vast majority of people save through the development of behaviours that would otherwise be identified as eating-disordered, so BMI chart cutoffs are of pretty limited value for individual health guidance even if we were confident in their causal relationships.

secondly, and arguably even more fundamentally, any data that purport to differentiate people on the basis of race are data that are using an invented social category, not a 'natural' or biological one. there are absolutely health outcomes and conditions that affect different populations at different rates or with varying effects. but 'Asian' is not a coherent category genetically, epigenetically, historically, physiologically, or anything else. it's no more a 'real' biological grouping of people than 'white' or any other racial category. these are social designations, they're not biological facts. medicine that purports to display sensitivity to marginalised groups by reifying the biological ideology that defines them is reactionary at its core, and is not even solving the problems people think it is. when we lean on the idea of racial health disparities, we're basically relying on a crude average of a whole bunch of different people and groups who have been socially slotted into one 'race' category. this doesn't help people; on the contrary, it often obscures the actual rates of particular health issues in different populations: for example, the gene responsible for sickle cell anemia is common in families from many parts of the world, and sickle cell anemia is not a 'race-based disease' but an inherited genetic disorder. the allure of 'innate racial differences' as an etiological explanation is still pervasive and pernicious in medicine as elsewhere. Rana Hogarth talks about this in the epilogue to Medicalising Blackness, and I've also heard Iris Clever discuss it in conferences, although to my knowledge her published work focusses more on the epistemological architecture of genetic and anthropological databases. anyway my point is that, even if we solved all the issues raised in part 1 above and were confident that we had indeed pinpointed BMI cutoffs causally linked to adverse health effects, it still would be harmful and not helpful to set these cutoffs on the basis of 'race', which is a social system of categorisation and marginalisation and has no biological basis or 'natural' justification.

[thrandilf]

liked an explanation my film professor gave that I think applies to all kinds of media, which is that if you're doing analysis and have a claim to make that's going a bit beyond the text or drawing a big conclusion about the work as a whole, a good way to determine if it's something you should give credence to is to ask if it's productive

certainly, you can say a lot of things about media that veer off the rails that can't be fully disproven, but even if it can't be fully disproven doesn't mean it's right (authorial intent is maybe the biggest one I see people argue, where interpretations may feel subjective, but if the creator knows what they're doing then the intent should be clear because. they did what they intended and you just have to be aware of the filter of art/genre that they're using.)

so, does it further discussion about the media? does it tie into the media's themes and existing text in a meaningful way? in what way does it enhance the basis of what's already there on the surface level takes, and is there anything to contradict your claim that you should consider?

if something only makes sense due to one line but contradicts a work's entire thematic view, that's gonna be difficult to craft well enough to hold water, but it's still a point of interest

and it's fine to ponder something that ultimately doesn't really fit with what a piece of media is, maybe something was an interesting thought or the story reminded you of something else but the thread has too many discrepancies to be meaningful (or you're contrasting in which yay, differences!)

it's totally okay to be off the mark and then think about it more and come to a more solid conclusion, that's just working through the analysis process by returning to what you're looking at and examining the media and shaping your thoughts around the media rather than shaping the media around your thoughts

if it doesn't connect back to the media source and doesn't enrich understanding of the media/provide insights, it may be just projection and not a reading worth arguing for

and I think that viewing analysis by how fruitful it is and if it coheres to the rest of the media it's about is a useful way to frame it, because maybe some takes aren't fully wrong but they aren't serving a purpose, and therefore it's best to dig deeper or in another direction

generally, keep an open mind and return to the text on small and overarching levels consistently and if you can do that, it's probably sound and worth discussing/writing about (coming at this from a school lens of course, but it's also how I look at for fun media too)

[edwad]

Do you ever worry all of the critique you're mounting on Marx is "too academic"? Not that it's necessarily incorrect, but that it won't translate these into changes in political practice in the world even if it's accepted that your critique has merit?

If Marx was just an abstract philosopher who was fumbled around with in the hands of academics only, perhaps this question would seem absurd. But that's not the case for Marx - he and his thought, however incomplete and incoherent, is still grappled with by political actors, however incompletely and incoherently themselves.

And there a whole world of "politics" that "the Left" the world over, still haunted and driven by Marx and Marxism, takes part in...organizing parties and taking part in elections, (intra)-union organzing, legal advocation, protests and mass demonstration, education and seminars, fighting guerilla wars, building communes, etc...and I presume that you are part of the Left that sees all of this action as pointing towards, if only potentially or latently or incoherently, towards revolution and communism.

What are you hoping your intervention does in this world? Are you aiming for a specific, identifiable change in the world of politics and of the Left? Or does the critique justify itself on intellectual grounds alone, even if one can't imagine clear changes in politics and social practice following from it?

i always think it's a bit funny when people level accusations against me of being too "academic" when not only am i totally outside of academia but i probably had less (and worse!) formal schooling than them. i don't say this because i think you're making that kind of case (i certainly read you as being more charitable than that, although maybe you really are going for a dig, idk), but because i think it's clear that even undereducated lowlifes like me have some vested interest in these things for both theoretical and practical reasons. its not about job security for me in the ivory tower, its just the kind of things i think about on the way to and from work (my long reblog earlier was written on the way to my store). to more directly address your question, i think these things have meaningful stakes which aren't reducible to the luxury of academics peddling abstract thinking (although, most of my academic friends are pretty broke too, so im not trying to joust with them here as much as with this notion of an institutionalized marx scholarship that im somehow dabbling in). the takeaway here shouldn't simply be "what if marx is wrong about the political economists he's working with", it's "what if marxs analysis of the system, and by extension, his critique of it, falls flat"

this has political stakes for anybody whose political thinking and aspirations involve using marx as a resource. if he gets capitalism wrong (and, if immanent critique means anything, how could he get that part wrong while adequately understanding the system which is supposed to directly account for the object he is critiquing?) then what does that mean for our anti-capitalism? sure, we could be productively misreading him and still demanding things which maybe aren't justified by his analysis but which are worth pursuing, but how can even tell? by what standard? what if actually our well-intended political maneuvers simply make things worse, as plenty of liberal thinkers would suggest? we can say "yeah well they're dumb liberals so they don't know anything", but this only works if you can safely assume you're right and that they're wrong on the basis of a semi-coherent understanding of the world around you. the ways you struggle against that world is shaped by your understanding of it, and the things you hold against it or the possibilities for what it could be are entirely bound up with what can only be called a "theory" of the system. i think the theory we have of the system has significant political/practical consequences, and if marx is wrong about all of this then we'd be forced to rethink what that means for us as marx-influenced communists.

in that sense, im not demanding a particular change in political strategy, im interested in posing a problem which i think we have to be able to answer. otherwise the whole thing collapses and we might as well settle for social democracy or whatever.

[kyouka-supremacy]

part 1- alternatively Atsushi made Akutagawa do that promise because he wanted to be proved right. Because he didn't believe Akutagawa was capable of such humanity and had his firm imaginary version of Akutagawa (you've made many posts about that already) and would get offended whenever Akutagawa would go off-script, even for stuff like grocery shopping or stuff like being chatty. And Akutagawa was so perceptive and wise recently Atsushi wanted to prove himself that he was actually right

about Akutagawa and be comforted in his worldview. He doesn't have to think critically about Akutagawa or go outside of his black and white worldview if his doubts about Akutagawa being all that bad were gone, so he wanted to be like "I was right all along actually he's the actual worst", cue why he was so bewildered to witness Akutagawa actually keep his promise, be there for him, and sacrifice himself for him, and why he was so utterly numb in the aftermath and couldn't proccess it. Which is why all of us have trouble pinpointing when Atsushi fell in love, it seems weird that he was "firmly not in love" prior to that and only fell after 88, because stuff prior seems to suggest otherwise (be it 84-87 or stuff waaay prior). there was all that build-up in SSKK, all that slowburn that didn't get anywhere. Be it cannibalism, all the banter, or all their meaningful interactions, nothing enough to fall in love at the time but too much to be dismissed so there was a "Crossroad" of sorts ? But also Atsushi was pretty uncomfortable with the sort of mental intimacy he was starting to get with Aku and hard in denial, and wanted to go back to his comfort zone, the "akutagawa is evil and not a person capable of feelings" so he made Akutagawa agree to that promise. And if Aku broke it where he could see Atsushi would be fully justified to go all out against him. I doubt even readers really expected Aku to keep that promise until the end AND YET, Akutagawa prove us wrong, he prove us wrong and he prove Atsushi wrong and he assert his humanity and character so beautifully I was breath-taken, if we go by a SSKK-shipper premise, that's my favorite premise because it's way better that way in my opinion, Atsushi placing his trust in someone dubious is not anything new in this manga (he wholly trust DAZAI of all people), he's someone who likes to be in his comfort zone and doesn't like to think too hard about morality so him digging his heels in and wanting to go "gotcha ! I knew you were the actual worst !" (even after seeing Aku keeps his promise he couldn't trust him vs Fukuchi) and getting his world-view utterly upended and thinking really hard in the aftermath and making a serious attempt to make amends (as seen in round 1 of SSKK vs Fukuchi and  round 2, or between 88 and 107), and adjust his worldview due to Akutagawa more than we see him do in other instances. But we also get the Atsushi trusting Akutagawa despite all odds, in ch107 and after, and believing in his character and his humanity. Even after the big bad Akutagawa has become a soulless vampire helping the end of the world of all things.  And it's a development I like

I think this is a plausible and coherent interpretation of the canon material! I don’t agree with it – and I’m going to elaborate on why in a second -, but I think the elements you brought in support of your take are fully sensate and make a perfectly valid interpretation of canon and of Atsushi’s character.

It’s just, to me, that’s a bit too cruel for Atsushi to do. Atsushi has already been horrible to Akutagawa (that’s why Dazai-san abandoned you and disappeared and so on), but it was also moments of great stress where he kinda snapped. Atsushi does hate Akutagawa – at least for as far as chapter 51 goes, I’d say -, but to be fully intentionally hurtful, to basically plan so that he could humiliate Akutagawa? I don’t think he’d go that far. If anything because Atsushi’s hatred for Akutagawa more frequently than not translates in “I don’t want anything to do with this dude” rather than “I want to actively take part in offending him”.

There’s another point I already fleetingly mentioned in my previous reply, but that I think is relevant: Atsushi would never wish for Akutagawa to not keep his promise for the simple fact that Atsushi does not want people to die. Atsushi is greatly affected by people dying, and has repeatedly shown reacting strongly against the idea¹; Atsushi may be selfish, and he’s not an hero, but he does share that little human decency that makes him sad when people die. Killing people mercilessly, without regret or second thought is exactly what he accuses Akutagawa of doing (“a murderer who just wants to bandy his power around”, chapter 35). I think here we’re tracing a thin line between “Atsushi hates Akutagawa because he kills people” and “Atsushi wants Akutagawa to kill people so that he has a reason to hate him”, but the first affirmation must be the one to be preferred when analizing what went on in Atsushi’s mind when he made Akutagawa promise, because Atsushi's wish for people not to die comes before hating Akutagawa both chronologically (he hates Akutagawa just because he’s wanted people not to die in the first place) and thematically (people not dying has the priority over hating Akutagawa and thus wanting to see him fail).

In the end, I fear that saying Atsushi wants to test Akutagawa specifically in order to confirm the image of ruthless man he has of him may end up being a logical fallacy. In order to prove Akutagawa is bad Atsushi should acknowledge that he holds preconceptions towards Akutagawa, admit that he holds prejudices he wants to prove. But Atsushi is not aware of the prejudices he holds for Akutagawa, he just instinctively and unconsciously assumes he’s bad. But if he’s not aware of such, than he has nothing to make Akutagawa prove, because Akutagawa just is bad. I hope this makes sense. If Atsushi’s words to Akutagawa represented a test, I can’t see it as anything but a genuine test of Atsushi sincerely wondering whether Akutagawa can be up to the challenge of keeping the promise, and hoping that he would- hoping, even if for just one soon to be forgotten second, in the good that’s in Akutagawa.

I don’t know if I’m landing in shipping territory now, it’s hard to tell because sskk’s bond in canon is already enough deep and complex without me having to do anything. But like… I do want to belive Atsushi was slowing shifting in his perception of Akutagawa after what they went through together in the cannibalism arc. I know I’ve made several posts on how the image of Akutagawa Atsushi has in his mind is strikingly different from the real Akutagawa, and how it’s very hard for him to get over the prejudices he holds… But he did change his mind in the end. Atsushi did reach his hand towards Akutagawa after Akutagawa sacrificed himself for him. And it may have all happened in the fight against Fukuchi (that was indeed a moment of primary importance for Akutagawa’s personal redemption to Atsushi’s eyes), but isn’t it also sensate to believe some seeds of growth had been planted beforehand? I think it’s fair to believe it was more gradual than what it may seem at first look: Atsushi’s stubborn insisting that Akutagawa is heartless, then, may actually be his way to suppress his subconscious telling him that maybe Akutagawa doea have an heart after all. And growth doesn’t happen linearly, one can have their own relapses, so I think it’s still coherent (and human) of Atsushi to be disbelieving of Akutagawa keeping his promise even after he himself made him do it.

Now, I LOVE the idea of Atsushi willingly pulling out (taking refuge in, even) the “Akutagawa is an horrible person” argument in response to them having gotten closer, I especially /love/ the idea of Atsushi getting uncomfortable with emotional vulnerability². It’s brilliant. I’m such a fan of characters having sudden relapses as soon as they realize something in the relationship they’re in has changed. I can see Atsushi starting being more hostile, because hostility is familiar, hostility is something he knows, hostility is something he can work with; he doesn’t know what it feels like to care for Akutagawa, he doesn’t want to care, he’s confused and scared, and that’s why he wants to go back to the interactions he’s used to (which is nothing but an illusion, because nothing can ever stay the same, and everything changes). I’d totally read a fic on that.

Btw I’m once again carrying forward: the shipping scenario of Atsushi ending up subconsciously (but never intentionally) wishing for Akutagawa to break his promise so that he doesn’t have to fight him and kill him. Because Atsushi is a selfish person at his core, and honestly he would have people die rather than lose the person he loves. I’d love to read a fic that tackles this aspect.

Thank you again for your elaboration, this sure gave me a lot to think about!!!

¹ I feel like it’s particulay impactful how mad he was at Kyouka in chapter 27, whereas he’s never shown being anything but kind and compassionate with her. Additionally, the “We won’t kill! That’s not what the Detective Agency does.” From Dead Apple (immediately followed by threatening Akutagawa’s life, but like, I guess to Atsushi Akutagawa is just special)

² That’s not something I ever considered before, but I feel like it fits Atsushi’s character a lot. To make a similar comparison, it’s like sskk and physical touch: the most instinctive take is often to label Akutagawa, the serious, grumpy, scarred one as reluctant to touch, and the sunny Atsushi as the touch starved one. But I find the reverse take to be a more nuanced interpretation: Akutagawa grew up in the slums with a family of ragged orphans, in extremely poor an unhigenic circumstances; he was probably used to body proximity, as well as sleeping near other people. Atsushi grew up all alone, and was even often put in isolate cells. He is the one who’s always ever known hurtful touch, whereas it’s easier to believe Akutagawa, while sure knowing it well too, might have rarely experienced what it’s like to feel a touch that isn’t destined to harm. The same could have happened with emotional vulnerability: Akutagawa has a sister, maybe he *is* more willing to it (which, don’t get me wrong, is still super little. It’s just that Atsushi is a lost case and is easily topped). Atsushi grew up completely alone (the orphanage environment wasn’t hostile just on the end of the directors, but on the one of his fellow orphans too) and taught to constantly suppress his own emotions together with his inner self.

[kelticangel]

Been seeing lots of hopeless romantic aroace posts lately and while I really don't want to co-opt the aroace narrative and momentum, it's made me think about my own experience. So I'm gonna share a bit in hopes of sorting my own thoughts 💜 Please bear with me as this might not be fully coherent

I consider myself a hopeless romantic, and I'm asexual, but I've been vibing (a little uncomfortably) with the idemromantic and panromantic microlabels. And despite all of my recent questioning, I still feel like most of that is accurate about me. Most? Most. I think I've figured out why those microlabels weren't quite sitting right

I think they're a product of purity culture

Let me explain

As a teen, I felt like I wasn't "allowed" to make deep friendships with boys. It wasn't explicitly forbidden or anything (my parents were actually v supportive of me) but I definitely felt the social pressure to only be friends with girls because otherwise someone might think I was romantically interested and "how dare I lead someone on if I'm not wanting to date or beginning to plan for marriage." That was the feel. This was super tough for me because I've always gotten along better with guys than with girls - I just never had much in common with the giggly, makeup wearing, outfit shopping crowd

So I learned to associate all of the close connection I felt with guys with the feel of romance. Playfulness was called flirting. Wanting to spend time with someone was called crushing. Etc, etc, etc. You get the picture. And while I'm genuinely romantically attracted to masculinity, regardless of the person's gender, it so ended up that I never had much practice at being just normal friends with someone masculine

I've always felt like I suck at making good, deep, meaningful friendships. I fall into mom-friend mode with most people who have more stereotypically feminine traits, which limits how much I feel like I can be open with them. And my silly unpracticed skill at being normal around masculinity means I sometimes romanticize relationships when I'm actually trying to just be good friends. And then I scare them off with my weirdness or intensity

So, where've I landed, then?

Ace: No question. I'm not even demisexual or greyace or anything

Romantic: Hopelessly so

Panromantic: Yes ... sort of? Maybe andro-romantic is a better word? Is that even a word?

Idemromantic: Yes, but this is one that I think (for me) is the product of dysfunction and can be fixed. (Please note that I'm not saying idemromantic orientations are problematic in general)

Gonna leave this here 💜 Maybe it resonates with you, maybe not. If it does, know that you're not alone

[itsmistyeyedbi]

pulse

Pairing: F!Detective/Farah Hauville

Word Count: 1,7k

Tag: @happyhauvillebday

Prompt: Fangs (it's late, I know)

Warnings: This is just smut lol. Very nsft, so minors dni!

Summary: Farah has a lot to give and gets a little too caught up in how much Zuri enjoys that.

Farah always finds herself a little stunned when she has Zuri like this. It doesn't matter how often she does - and it's pretty often if she does say so herself. The sight of her underneath her is and always will be beautiful.

Zuri’s headwrap has come undone, her hair covering her pillow like clouds do the sky. She's a writhing, moaning mess against the sheets, dark brown skin glistening with sweat, chest heaving with every breath. She can feel her fingers digging into her back, the hand around her bicep tightening its grip as her hips follow the steady pace of Farah’s fingers.

She watches all of it the way she asked her to, even though she didn't need to. She didn't want to look at anything or anyone but her. She looked for her when she wasn't around and couldn't tear her eyes off her when she was. And she definitely isn't going to miss a second of this. Not when she's teetering on the edge again, trembling and barely coherent.

Farah leans down until her forehead almost touches hers, biting her lip as her bare chest brushes against her and her breath fans her face. “You're so beautiful like this.”

Zuri’s heart skips a beat before continuing its loud and frantic pace. Her lips curl into a small smile, eyes shifting away before meeting hers again, pupils blown. She still gets shy when she says that.

“Do you wanna come for me now?”

She clenches around her fingers with a whine and a nod. The reaction sends a shiver of heat down her spine and coaxes a moan out of her. She loves the way her body responds to her, how desperate she gets when she's close, how much she wants her and everything she wants to give her. It feels so real, the most real thing she's ever had with someone. It makes her want to give her the world, or something more than that. Something as meaningful as they are.

So she kisses her like she can. Like she will. Like everything inside her can be shared in a kiss, hungry and heated, intense. She sucks on her bottom lip and swallows her moans, rolling her tongue against hers and groaning at the lingering taste of herself in her mouth. Something about it makes her heart stutter and make the air around them feel like a cool touch against her skin.

She pulls away to look at her face as she speeds up her motions, the pad of her thumb gently rubbing against her clit. A long moan leaves Zuri’s lips, held tight in her throat as her hips grind into her hand, her body wound up tight as she chases the feeling. Farah doesn't know where to look now. She doesn't think she's even breathing. Her mind is foggy, jaw slack as she takes her in, enthralled.

She's… everywhere. Soft skin and flexing muscles, shaking legs on either side of her, heels pressing into her back, so fucking wet on her fingers. The slick sound of her mingling with panting, with her broken moans and half spoken words (she could listen to her forever, her voice is one of her favourite songs). With the pounding of her heart. The air is tinged with the scent of her, of sweat and citrus perfume, of ecstasy and the faint, sweet scent of her blood….

She needs to taste her, needs to have her mouth on her. But she doesn't want to risk muffling the sounds she making. Farah looks at her face, her furrowed brows and parted lips, and the sight stirs something inside her. She can't. She needs-

She bends down and presses her face against her neck. She can see her pulse fluttering underneath her skin, the blood running through her veins a constant thrum that sings out to her. Her nose follows the curve of it as she inhales her scent. It's sweet and sends every part of her into a flurry, just like Zuri does.

Farah's thumb is firmer now, drawing tight circles against her clit. Her voice rasps as she speaks. A voice in the back of her head tells her that that's out of character for her, but it's drowned out by the woman in front of her and how badly she wants to make her come.

“Come on, babe, come for me,” she drags her lips along her skin and that thrumming. “I've got you, you know I do. Show me how much you like what I do to you.”

“Oh God, I- fuck, Farah-”

The words are quiet, rushed and stammered out before they're lost in the cries she let's out. Her hips buck into her hand, her body arches against hers, her head tilts back and she's baring her throat for her. Farah lets out a shaky breath before running her tongue along that pulse, shuddering at the feel of it and moaning. It's so much. She's everywhere and she still can't get enough of her. She doesn't think she's wanted to be this close to someone - so close that she wants her inside her, to feel her run through her veins.

It takes a couple moments for her brain to catch up to that thought. A moment where raspy giggles leave Zuri's lips while her body twitches from aftershocks. A moment where she sinks into the bed with a sigh. A moment where her face stays buried in her neck. A moment where her fangs graze it, and they both pause. And the little voice in the back of her neck isn't so little anymore, it's screaming.

Holy shit. She just- shit.

She didn't mean to do that. She's never done that. Why didn't she notice sooner!?

Farah lurches backwards to look at Zuri’s face. She's still catching her breath, still looks sluggish. She isn't panicking but she isn't as relaxed and content as she usually is after sex. Zuri looks up at her with slightly widened eyes and a raised brow that would be subtle to anyone but her.

Okay, she's not scared or freaked out. That's good. But she's confused and probably wants some kind of explanation for that. Farah just…doesn't know what to say. She can't even explain it to herself right now.

“Is it just me, or was this a lot more… intense than usual?” She laughs nervously.

There's one or two agonising seconds of silence before she responds. “Yeah. Yeah it was.”

She can hear that tone in her voice, the one she uses when she knows something and she wants you to know that she does. Only she can make it both annoying and endearing. It's not that Farah doesn't want her to know, she just can't find the words for what just happened.

“I'm sorry, I don't know-” she sighs and shakes her head. “I mean, I noticed what was happening but… I also, didn't? I always feel so much with you, I guess it makes it me take longer to notice when it feels…different.”

Zuri does something Farah doesn't expect. She smiles. Her heart skips a beat and her lips slowly curl into a lopsided smile that eases the tension. “It's okay, don't worry about it. Also, I kinda like the sound of that.”

They laugh softly before falling quiet. Zuri’s eyes fall down to her mouth and Farah swipes her tongue across her bottom lip, then across her teeth. Her fangs are still out.

Zuri reaches up to cup her face, stroking her cheek with her thumb and pressing it against the corner of her mouth, the spot her fang is hiding behind. “I don't think those were there before,” she murmurs.

“They weren't, you just happen to bring them out of me,” she grins, then it slowly melts off her face. She watches for any changes in her facial expressions and body, any signs of fear. And still, nothing. Her heartbeat is steady. But she has to be sure. “You know I'd never hurt you, right?”

“I know, I trust you,” she answers without hesitation and it makes her giddy.

She trusts her. That's what she was hoping to hear, and she hopes she can keep that trust. She won't do anything that would ever make her question it.

Farah smiles, turning her head to kiss her thumb before shifting to lay down next to her. She wraps her arms around her, legs tangling with each others, giggling as she gently rubs the tip of her nose against hers before settling under the covers. They talk in whispers until Zuri’s eyes start to droop and her words come out slower. She looks like she's seconds away from sleep as she nuzzles into the crook of her neck, but she manages to murmur out a question.

“Did you want to?”

“Did I want to what?”

“Bite me?” Zuri shifts a bit, her eyelashes tickling Farah's skin with every slow blink. “Would you? If I asked you to?”

Farah pauses, using a hand to push back her hair enough to see more of her, even though it's useless when her face is still hidden in her neck.

She remembers some of the vampires in the Echo World and how intimate drinking from someone was, despite how normal it was for supernaturals to drink blood. It was something only lovers ever did. Not just lovers, soulmates. People who chose to be with each other for eternity. It was so rare that she never even considered it and when she got to this world, well. Most people didn't know vampires existed. Those who did were afraid of them.

But now she has that. She has someone who chose her, someone amazing and beautiful and smart who has never been afraid of her. Even though she has more reason to be than anyone she's met. Zuri’s been through so much with supernaturals and a vampire is responsible for that. Proof of that is still rushing through her, that thrumming still tugging at her thoughts for attention. She doesn't know if it would be as simple as two vampires in the Echo World who are madly in love with each other.

But would she? If she asked her to? Would she say no?

That's not even a question. Not really. Farah knows she could never say no to Zuri. She wouldn't want to. And if she would trust her that much, she'd want to show her that she was right to.

Farah strokes Zuri’s back absentmindedly and kisses the top of her head, her voice barely above a whisper as she finally answers, “I would do anything you asked, babe. Just say the word.”

[mdhwrites]

What are your core problems with The Owl House?

I'm feeling sick so I'm doing one that's weirdly a little simpler. Not simple but simpler. (It did not stay simple. Shocking, I know.) So if I were to be objective, I think the core problem with TOH is ego. I've been saying it a LOT recently on my Discord that "Ego is the death of art." Eventually, once you get your head shoved so far up your ass, you just stop being able to produce something good because you can't even make the statements you're wanting to make. That's the real death knell for TOH. It is so focused on being special and being meaningful that it forgets to be fun but it's also so self satisfied and convinced that its elements are sacrosanct that they don't question how they're using those elements or what they're actually saying. There's a reason why I'm personally happy as an author that I normally figure out themes within my works post figuring out what they're going to be like because my first goal is just making sure the story is COHERENT. And TOH doesn't give a FUUUUUUU- But subjectively... It's the characters for me that are the core of what lost me with TOH and what attracted me at first. S1 doesn't have the greatest cast. I literally brought in a two off antagonist in Boscha to have a third main character in my stories and focused WAY more on the Blights than literally ever including King in Power of Love. But... That is also is fine because just Amity and Luz in S1 by themselves has an incredible amount of potential as well just being incredibly likable. In fact, for all the shit I gave Eda and King a literal day ago, S1 of them are... enjoyable enough. King's joke is well and truly played out by then so I literally could not care about him but he is the best comic relief in S1. Not a high bar but he does clear it. Meanwhile, Eda has enough interesting going on with the curse to make her flaws not as apparent. Lilith is a compelling antagonist and the possibility of her bringing her more interpersonal comedy style into the main cast was exciting. Gus and Willow are barely characters but they're written likably and don't ever do anything truly wrong which could be said about them for the whole show.

And that also just kind of brings up the awkward element of S1. You have Amity and the curse but otherwise... It all feels like setup. Like we're seeing the first traces of these characters but we still haven't gotten a good, deeper impression of any of them yet. Including the world quite frankly. For fanfiction this was AMAZING. Everything was setup to go in a billion different ways, especially with Amity and Luz (individually or together) and it was exciting to theorize about. I tempered my expectations of course, I doubted I'd ever get the true nuance of my own version of Odalia and Alador but... I expected something a little smarter. The show seemed like it trended that way after all. That a bit more care and realism was put into the characters of the show. And then S2A is... more setup. Or just entirely changing characters to new forms of themselves that we still don't really know. All we do know is that they're less compelling. Amity becomes literally nothing more than Luz's girlfriend and how easy her change becomes more and more apparent with each passing episode. We get Momma Eda in one of her like... Two, maybe three appearances as any sort of criminal in S2 and they're ALWAYS motivated by someone else's scheme. I guess maybe not with Reaching Out but I'd have to check. The point is that the firebrand version of Eda is FIRMLY dead. Lilith becomes a total joke who's hard to even give credit to for the curse because Affearances is making her nothing more than a pathetic woman with unresolved mommy issues because... Sure. That's what the ex-coven head is just like now. Willow has ALL traces of either her morality or really any personality just gone for half a season, in part because she has no part in this season. She even insults Gus for his illusions in Escaping Expulsion in a scene where I SWEAR they swapped Amity and Willow's lines. Not that either should be pushing for bum rushing the door but it makes more sense coming out of plant goddess Willow than theoretically smart girl Amity.

And then you have Luz who is acting even more indignant this half season? Like not a lot has changed but the shifting tone is catching up to how they write Luz. How she can so quickly get annoyed at things not going her way or people not treating her like she's special. How she'll use her friends for personal gain. How she needs to be better than everyone else, both in her eyes and the writer's eyes. All while this isn't getting properly getting interrogated by the characters or even a bit of snark from Eda like it would in S1. It frankly reminds me of something I would say about bad porn: It's Barbie dolls being mashed together. They may have a little flair, like this one is wearing a skull hat or this one is non-binary, but as far as real personality goes... It didn't matter. You could swap out anyone and the writers would force it to work regardless. What personality was there was becoming increasingly cookie cutter or accidentally mean and cruel, just like toxic beauty standards. It's not Barbie's fault that sticks on a torso is the beauty standard to America but it also has no interest in being smart enough to make an appealing doll while avoiding reinforcing the worst parts of it.

And like bad porn, the reason this is done is similar. Rather than actually dealing with the emotions and complexities present in the topics and actions that are desired for the story, they make it so the characters just do it anyways. In porn, you get fucking. In The Owl House, you get... Subversion and representation I guess. But like sex with no setup or emotion, you need to only want the face value elements of these things or else you're just going to feel like you're watching other people having a MUCH better time than you while you're wondering why you're there. Also, yes, this is a weird metaphor. It's mostly done I believe. I do want to mention though that this is why my erotica series struggled to have a lot of sex scenes because those books took themselves and their characters and concepts pretty seriously so I couldn't just ignore the characters if they just weren't in the mood.

The fact that the main payoffs are emotional and metatextual statements that are poorly setup is a REAL problem. It has the feeling of a highschooler who's spent too much time on Twitter seeing their seven year old baby sister playing with her dolls and stopping her from doing that to then put the Barbie on a soapbox and lecture their sister about how dolls are oppressing her and having fun like this is awful. It's not just boring, it's literally anti-fun. Worse yet, it's not smart enough about the topics not to feel mean spirited and somewhat misguided in how its doing it. As an example, they wanted good queer rep. Unfortunately, Amity turned into an incredibly bland trophy for Luz, as boring a pointless as any straight female love interest frankly, and Raine is criticized by much of the fandom for obviously existing only for Eda. They're not just turned into a sexy lamp: That's almost their point from go with how little time they AREN'T just about Eda. This all culminates in the real turning point of the series. Now yes, I've said the point of no return is Escaping Expulsion but that episode is more the objective core issue's turning point. It's the show going "We're not as smart as we think we are and so are going to murder some of the elements that are stopping us from doing whatever we want to... But that doesn't mean we're gonna have fun with it either. Instead, we're going to act lazy, bitter and make the laziness and forced aspects of this episode way too apparent as we move on to what makes us feel special like Lumity." For the characters, Yesterday's Lie is the final nail in the coffin. I've talked before about how Vee's callout of Luz not only makes the problems of S2A being awkward with Luz's character more questionable, it throws her entire CONCEPT into question. Whether she ever was made an outcast because of others or because she told other outcasts to go fuck themselves. Why didn't she know anyone like Mascha after all? They clearly exist in Gravesfield. Why was she trying to be a cheerleader when she clearly isn't interested in sports or athletics. At least most of the time. S1 seems really fucking confused about whether or not she's a nerd or a truly basic bitch school kid who likes everything at least a little bit. But you didn't question it until the new statement that wanted to be made with Luz was "We have a dramatic, changing protagonist who is not just a ball of sunshine but also capable of extreme levels angst and change. She's not just another cartoon main character."

Boy that statement is reeking of ego though, isn't it? Especially when the point Luz isn't going to become "Reality matters over fantasy, others are more important than me," but instead her character finish is "I literally need everyone to recognize that I'm the most special person on the planet and I will only properly listen to anyone who is like me since I blatantly ignored everything my mom said until she earned my attention by being a closet nerd." Luz's character finish is REEEEEALLY BAD.

And no, I don't blame this on the shortening. Just look at fucking Amphibia. It has a VERY vivid cast that mostly keep to their own roles that are dictated by their personalities and despite the lack of time characters like Sasha get, the show knows how to sell their personalities, their relationships, what they're doing, etc. like that almost instantly and part of that's because it's having fun. It's willing to take things to the extreme from go. Sasha's INTRODUCTION is convincing someone to turn themselves into a CLOWN and leave their entire life behind so as to make it so she's no longer guarded. You are sold IMMEDIATELY on this being some master manipulator... But then she also saves Grime and her manipulations are through kindness rather than cruelty like most others which reinforces the loose threads we already had on Anne and her's relationship. You can see she's such a close friend... But why she's not a GOOD friend. And you know all of this by the end of S1 where she gets ONE AND A HALF EPISODES. That is frankly more than I can say about, especially firmly, the majority of TOH's cast by the end of S1. MAYBE Luz and definitely Amity clear the bar but that's the main character and her love interest. Not King. Not Eda. Not even Belos, the main fucking antagonist. I could have speculated on him but I could have told you more about Grime through the toads, Sasha and effectively his ONE episode than I can about the leader of the ENTIRE ISLES.

It really does continue to make me wonder why I'm not compelled to write Sashannarcy instead of Lumischa, the two share a lot of similarities after all, when even S1 has Sasha and Anne as so much more dynamic than Luz and Amity. I guess I liked the playground though. There was more empty space for me to play in with my own writing and I definitely will admit that the fandom, for both TOH and Amphibia, have made me feel far more connected to the shows than the actual products. I'm just weird that way I guess and it's probably why I keep ending up here. Where the show has gone fallow on me and I no longer see the characters as fun people with potential but instead just mean spirited Barbie Dolls.

It happened to me with MLP and it happened to me with TOH. *sigh*

============

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[alectology-archive]

What you dont like about sanderson writing?! I'm starting to read his books and so far i like it, but i always appreciate other opinions

that’s fine, I’ve already stated plainly on my blog before that I can recognise why his books are probably enjoyable for a lot of people because he structures his stories in ways that make them very readable. a lot of people probably enjoy his plot twists too, although I always thought he was very cruel and cynical with his storytelling (re: specifically with how he pokes fun at himself and the genres he’s working with in a manner decidedly meant to evoke ridicule. like… where is your fucking whimsy! he has no respect for the artistic process of writing besides telling stories - and as a writer myself I can’t abide that kind of an author being paraded around as an aspirational figure) and very disconnected from reality (specifically with respect to Reverse Misogyny, Reverse Racism and Oppressed People Should Find A Middle Ground With Oppressors. it frankly disgusts me) besides being just terrible at handling any theme even if I can concede that some of his ideas are good (on that note, I think his worldbuilding is also very overrated, constituting a mish mash of different concepts that don’t quite cohere. you can tell that he used to run dnd games). I just think his stories are probably more comparable to pjo, writing and skillwise, and I enjoyed one of them better (it was pjo). I also outgrew young adult long ago, which means his works could never appeal to me even if he wasn’t Like That (whatever That means when you’re a kind of very privileged white mormon guy who has a very protective fan base). The problem that is the terrible quality of his work also mostly stems from pumping out 500k-1 million words a year. it’s just not possible for any of that to be very good, I’m sorry. at one point quantity does very much become indicative of quality. no good or sane writer would publish any of that material unless it was heavily, heavily edited (his books are not well edited either, but I feel sorry for whoever his editor is). I don’t think there’s a single line anybody could pull from his works that I would find poignant, meaningful or quotable precisely because of his tendency to put down on paper anything and everything that occurs to him (there’s a reason why his works read like a disjointed stream of consciousness). his works also convey the sort of smug, contented state of confident self-possession he’s managed to reach where he’s comfortable publishing any piece of bad writing (I’m saying this after reading the first couple chapters of tress of the emerald sea, so I don’t think anyone can really accuse me of not reading his recent and therefore, supposedly, better works) because he has an established fan base that’s ready to eat it up. he also does suck at writing women. like a lot. it’s a conversation that nobody is really ready for even when they critique the deplorable depictions of oppression and class dynamics in his books - his male characters are always the real stars of the show and are clearly very dear to him besides being the vessels through which he inserts a lot of religious commentary that specifically stems from his background. he also does (consciously and unconsciously) insert lot of conservative rhetoric in his books when he’s writing his female characters.

whatever - I’m not stopping you from enjoying his stuff. but to put it very crudely, I think his stories also suffer from the same issues that the mcu does.

[bitimdrake]

rereading nightwing (2011) #30 and god i have. so many thoughts about it. And also I still cannot get a coherent hold on it.

This post is really just a mess of me rambling for myself and spewing thoughts out, so I'm putting it under the cut and read at your own discretion and curiosity.

first off, we basically only talk about the middle part, but this comic is actually three sections and it's. bad?

it's just so awkward. This is a transitional issues, but it's not even a well executed one. It's not even a mediocre one. It's very blunt and inconsistent in abruptly shoving the story forward to make way for a Grayson status quo.

The three sections all have different styles and very different tones, but they are also directly related to each other. So it's not like they work as three different vignettes sharing an issue. But they also don't make a particularly cogent whole.

And they definitely do not come even close to the kind of satisfying ending you'd typically want to see at the end of a run.

Like: the first section is Leslie recounting to Bruce how she ran into Spyral. A section which, you will note, does not include our lead and title character in any way, nor is it remotely emotionally relevant or meaningful to him on first read, nor is it remotely related to anything in the run previously. It's a Batman Inc scene that got lost and landed in the wrong issue.

And then the second section (Bruce fights Dick until he agrees to go undercover) and the third (intro to Grayson with Dick doing international crimefighting to lure in Spyral recruitment) are plot-wise directly connect and yet. Could not be more at odds.

sec. 2 Dick has a very bad time being pushed into this by Bruce, and he hates it, and the whole thing is very violent and dark and grim, and Dick ends the section saying things can never be the same between him and Bruce.

and then sec. 3 Dick has a classic inner monologue about who he is and where he's been, that includes how Bruce saved him from being an angry, revenge-obsessed kid, and how he loves his family and is defined by being a legacy. And shows zero concern at what he's doing except a mild mention that after the Crime Syndicate he wanted to go back but he couldn't.

are you seeing what i'm talking about here. are you seeing how this is technically a continuous plot, but on every other level makes no goddamn sense

anyway let's talk about dick and bruce, but first specifically about Bruce because I still do not get him here

"get him" does not mean "agree" (or even "empathize") but literally just get it. Even when I fucking hate him I have at a basic level understood what was going on in his head previously. I do not now.

Bruce was already abusive ofc, but the thing that really threw me off the first time I read this--and that still feel jarring--is how completely different this is from any of his previous violence towards his kids.

He's not suddenly lashing out in a moment of high emotion. He waited for Dick to be ready and laid out the rules (non-rule) of the fight. And it's not even about some deeply personal matter that he's getting emotional over. Yes, Dick's recent brief death is a key part, but mostly Bruce is monologuing about the danger of this one random secret organization.

The whole thing is so planned, which is never something I've thought of his previous physical abuse, and it feels fucking awful.

It also just feels so irrational. And not in a "people who are very emotional make questionable decisions" way, but in a "I'm genuinely struggling to understand how the character got here way"

Bruce is upset that he recently watched Dick die. No question there. And so he....wants to send Dick undercover with Spyral?

??????

Like I can try to explain this as some variation of the classic 'push people away so caring about them won't hurt me again', but that's really not how it feels? It doesn't track. Bruce has pushed Dick away plenty before, and he does it by some combination of explosive anger, complete emotional shutdown, and literally telling Dick to leave. But like. This is not that. He's instead ensnaring Dick in a long fight and longer conversation and telling him not to leave, but to go do something specific. And it's not even really pushing him away!! Because Bruce is still asking Dick to do a thing for him, under his control! No. wrong vibe. Explanation rejected.

Second attempted explanation: section one of this issue ends with Leslie telling Bruce that, because of super Spyral interrogation powers, she might have revealed his identity and can't even remember. So Bruce is deeply troubled by that, and Dick's identity was just revealed to the world which compounds things ("you let them give your secrets to the world"), and now he is deeply concerned with figuring out what Spyral knows/stopping info from spreading and sending Dick to handle that.

I also hate this explanation. It feels dumb. Ridiculous priorities. (also, boy, it does not paint Bruce in a good light. but the bad light it paints him in is an all new one.) Ugh.

I really really just cannot create an explanation for Bruce here that feels coherent with my understanding of him, and I hate that.

And my understanding of him is of him as an abusive father!! So imagine how inexplicable this must feel! But this is the wrong kind of abusive father for what he's been before idk i don't even know if i make sense anymore

new thought time

for the first ~2/3 of the fight, I was thinking that on reread, I could kinda see how some very dumb and oblivious writer would not see how horrific and abusive it would be in the end:

Two characters are disagreeing, and one is going to convince the other by the end. So it's dramatic, and makes the art reflect the story, to have them spar as they're talking! Both script and art are a spar!

Bruce is trying to ~prove Dick will never break~ so it'll be fitting for him to fight Dick, and then call it off when Dick indeed proves he won't give up an gets the upper hand!

Misjudge just how violent the fight will come off. Write panels where Dick is on the ground looking up/being beaten by Bruce/getting injured, because you're going for the classic structure of the hero getting their ass kicked at the start before turning things around later on, but accidentally make those too pained.

blah blah blah, completely overlook the fact that these two are father and son with the power dynamic that implies, and fail to tune the dialogue so that you don't realize it seems less like Bruce is convincing and more like he's coercing

and maybe, theoretically, a writer with real bad instincts could think this would be less horrific than it is

...I thought for the first chunk of the fight, still trying to come up with a rational explanation for this scene, even if only a Doylist one

EXCEPT

Towards the end of the fight, Bruce literally says he knows he's hurting Dick, "my family," and calls Dick "my boy" and then punches Dick in the face so like. I'm sorry you can't do this by accident. If you wrote this by accident you are simply too stupid to be alive and I refuse to believe you can exist.

so anyway I don't have a Doylist explanation for this either :/

they really did just straight up have bruce beat up his son and have said son literally say it could never be the same between them after this, and then were like. yeah :) this is fine :) back to bruce solving crimes as batman :)

FINAL SECTION: random assorted things that make me mad

right before the fight when Alfred can't get into the cave and Bruce, who planned this, lies about it being a malfunction he's fixing

alfred tries to ask if he's alright after "master richard's... the boy's passing". Quote Bruce "Dick was never a boy." (this would make me want to slap him in the best of circumstances but I just want him dead)

the beat early on where Bruce gets a good shot in and Dick is sitting, and he pauses to ask Bruce what's really going on, and Bruce kicks him in the face

genuinely just the number of panels in this that are Dick on the ground, Dick getting punched/kicked/hit, Dick slamming into some solid piece of the environment

Dick keeps questioning this idea and bringing up new points and then just outright asking how Bruce can do this to him. And literally never once does Bruce reply to any of it.

Literally the entire fight Bruce spends monologuing, completely ignoring everything Dick says, as if he's not talking at all.

The only thing that Bruce does respond to is how Dick is doing in the fight. He breaks his monologue to commend Dick on fighting well, but not even once gives the tiniest acknowledgement that Dick is also saying things.

Just the fact that Dick "wins" by dropping down to Bruce's level of violence.

when bruce says the "we fall so we can get back up" and Dick says, no, someone pushes us and we get up to push back, it's fucking sad. I think this is meant to be his victorious moment of turning the tides, but it's upsetting to me! That Dick "it's about catching people when they fall" Grayson has been pushed to reject all of that and is now only talking in terms of fighting!!! I don't like this quote I judge anyone who uses this as a great quote representative of dick grayson, sorry, it's not, it sucks

Dick cracks his head on a railing owie

as soon as Bruce gets properly decked and hits the ground, he calls the fight off :) Because this proves to him that Dick won't break in Spyral, of course, and confirms his stupid plan will work :) and definitely not because Bruce can dish it out but can't take it :)

unreal how much I hate him

And finally! Amidst all of that, amidst all the blood and violence, the single moment that made me most want to shove Bruce through a woodchipper!

"I know I'm hurting you. My family. I'm making that sacrifice. Because I don't give up. I don't give in."

shut the fuck up you fucking martyr hurting your family is not sacrificing shit

man, I really did start this post with story analysis and a genuine curiosity to find sense in chaos. My primary emotion was the fervor of solving a story like a puzzle. But now I am simply going to kill.

[eelhound]

"Physicists are more playful and less hidebound creatures than, say, biologists — partly, no doubt, because they rarely have to contend with religious fundamentalists challenging the laws of physics. They are the poets of the scientific world. If one is already willing to embrace thirteen-dimensional objects or an endless number of alternative universes, or to casually suggest that 95 percent of the universe is made up of dark matter and energy about whose properties we know nothing, it’s perhaps not too much of a leap to also contemplate the possibility that subatomic particles have 'free will' or even experiences. And indeed, the existence of freedom on the subatomic level is currently a heated question of debate. Is it meaningful to say an electron 'chooses' to jump the way it does? Obviously, there’s no way to prove it. The only evidence we could have (that we can’t predict what it’s going to do), we do have. But it’s hardly decisive. Still, if one wants a consistently materialist explanation of the world — that is, if one does not wish to treat the mind as some supernatural entity imposed on the material world, but rather as simply a more complex organization of processes that are already going on, at every level of material reality — then it makes sense that something at least a little like intentionality, something at least a little like experience, something at least a little like freedom, would have to exist on every level of physical reality as well.

Why do most of us, then, immediately recoil at such conclusions? Why do they seem crazy and unscientific? Or more to the point, why are we perfectly willing to ascribe agency to a strand of DNA (however 'metaphorically'), but consider it absurd to do the same with an electron, a snowflake, or a coherent electromagnetic field? The answer, it seems, is because it’s pretty much impossible to ascribe self-interest to a snowflake. If we have convinced ourselves that rational explanation of action can consist only of treating action as if there were some sort of self-serving calculation behind it, then by that definition, on all these levels, rational explanations can’t be found. Unlike a DNA molecule, which we can at least pretend is pursuing some gangster-like project of ruthless self-aggrandizement, an electron simply does not have a material interest to pursue, not even survival. It is in no sense competing with other electrons. If an electron is acting freely — if it, as Richard Feynman is supposed to have said, 'does anything it likes' — it can only be acting freely as an end in itself. Which would mean that at the very foundations of physical reality, we encounter freedom for its own sake — which also means we encounter the most rudimentary form of play.

Let us imagine a principle. Call it a principle of freedom — or, since Latinate constructions tend to carry more weight in such matters, call it a principle of ludic freedom. Let us imagine it to hold that the free exercise of an entity’s most complex powers or capacities will, under certain circumstances at least, tend to become an end in itself. It would obviously not be the only principle active in nature. Others pull other ways. But if nothing else, it would help explain what we actually observe, such as why, despite the second law of thermodynamics, the universe seems to be getting more, rather than less, complex. Evolutionary psychologists claim they can explain — as the title of one recent book has it — 'why sex is fun.' What they can’t explain is why fun is fun. This could.

I don’t deny that what I’ve presented so far is a savage simplification of very complicated issues. I’m not even saying that the position I’m suggesting here — that there is a play principle at the basis of all physical reality — is necessarily true. I would just insist that such a perspective is at least as plausible as the weirdly inconsistent speculations that currently pass for orthodoxy, in which a mindless, robotic universe suddenly produces poets and philosophers out of nowhere. Nor, I think, does seeing play as a principle of nature necessarily mean adopting any sort of milky utopian view. The play principle can help explain why sex is fun, but it can also explain why cruelty is fun. (As anyone who has watched a cat play with a mouse can attest, a lot of animal play is not particularly nice.) But it gives us ground to unthink the world around us."

- David Graeber, from "What’s the Point If We Can’t Have Fun?" The Baffler, January 2014.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

hi! i love reading your thoughts because they're often so different from my own, but i wanted to ask you something about crowley and the way the abuses he's suffered at heaven/hell's hands have manifested in him. specifically, in his avoidance/tendency to flee as a means of protecting himself & aziraphale. i think it's rather unkind of fandom to just jot that all down to cowardice and to constantly criticize him for "running", esp when in never actually follows through on those threats. (part 1)

good morning nonnie!!!✨

sure thing, more than happy to discuss and at least put down my own thoughts! first thing im going to say is that whilst this is a recurrent theme throughout the whole show, ep6 feels like the pinnacle of everything re: crowley's trauma, and as i said to someone else recently, the reason why i find the Feral Domestic™ so delicious is because it is so well written. these are two characters that are having their own one-sided conversations, even if the dialogue matches up and fits coherently; they chronically misunderstand each other, are both crumbling under the things not being said, and each time you watch it, you can see things from the other's perspective and think that they are in the right. suffice to say, to my mind, there isn't necessarily any right way to interpret it, and all interpretations are valid!!!

let's talk crowley; i mean, you're right - it's not cowardice by the definition of the word. crowley doesn't lack bravery, but the way he manifests that bravery is very different to aziraphale's. i feel in this particular dilemma, personally, aziraphale had the right of it (fighting for change, however it may have come across to crowley, and however naive) - mainly out of the projection that i think it's the logical, most meritable action to take, if successful would actually mean they can be potentially be together in peace, and i would probably have done the same thing. now, we can surmise that that's not at all how it'll go down, and it certainly doesn't mean at all that crowley's reaction is wrong.

i do feel that sometimes the fandom does gloss over crowley's more... problematic... tendencies, and justify it by his trauma. his actions borne out of that trauma are understandable, they hold water, but they're not excusable. again, personal interpretation, but i can't rationalise some of crowley's actions out of anything than avoidance and a maelstrom of harmful, emotional internalisation - manipulating aziraphale/tempting him to kill adam/warlock, keeping key information from aziraphale especially that directly affects aziraphale, his saviour complex going too far and not only robbing aziraphale of some agency by doing so but it resulting in aziraphale believing it's necessary to make crowley happy, his superiority complex (aziraphale has one too, i will add), his habits of putting aziraphale down during stress/desperation... again, we can trace these all back to elements of his trauma, but it doesn't justify them.

that to me is a kind of 'running away'; it isn't that he's a coward and won't face up to the trauma in any meaningful way - it's not a question of a lack of bravery - but that he's so avoidant of examining that part of himself and his history that it holds him back from healing, and in doing so, i think, he possibly expects and anticipates aziraphale to live in that pain with him. maybe because aziraphale is a comfort to it, a balm that lessens the sting? maybe because he needs something to make him feel better about himself? idk, but whilst all things i can empathise with, one of the first things i saw in that scene is that crowley seems to think aziraphale should have remained in that inertia with him, kept the status quo, run away together. and when it turns out aziraphale truly belongs outside of that pain and doesn't want to live in it... well, put very over-simply, crowley couldn't handle it.

crowley is not at all wrong for running from his trauma. it was and is, by all inference of the material we have so far, incredibly painful, and possibly even shameful and humiliating and lonely. but in the same way that humans who don't reckon with their trauma are not lesser for not dealing with theirs by avoiding reconciling with it, it doesn't fix anything to do so. fix is the wrong word actually - it doesn't help at all to keep being in that pain. and it will usually result in it hurting those around you too, those that you love and love you in return. and bearing in mind - whilst aziraphale is smart enough to definitely know at least the general impact the fall had, and how heaven had treated/harmed crowley in the events that followed, crowley's never actually told aziraphale any of it (as far as we're aware). he even downplayed it to aziraphale - "sauntered vaguely downwards"... aziraphale is smart, but he is likely to take crowley's word at face value in this respect.

ultimately you are completely correct; it is not at all fair for anyone, aziraphale included, to expect crowley to return to the source of his pain. we know that, we know that the suggestion of returning, of being restored, must be inconceivable to him. but does aziraphale know that? how can he possibly know the full depth of why crowley won't return? beyond saying "they're toxic", and "when heaven ends life here on earth, it'll be just as dead as if hell ended it"... both of these reasons for rejecting the offer, bear in mind, are reasons why aziraphale wants to go back - to change it! it's fixable! he can resolve that! but if crowley had said, "i can't go back, it's the source of all pain for me and i want nothing to do with it"... im not entirely certain that aziraphale would have left.

can't also disagree with you that aziraphale isn't manipulative in his own way, because he absolutely is! aziraphale is equally a little shit for it throughout the entire show! but i truly don't think this is the scene where he's trying to be, or even is - i think he truly sees the offer as a way in which crowley could be happy again, create in utter joy like he did in the pre-fall scene, be shown respect and a means of apology for making him fall... it's meant, to me, out of love and devotion to crowley as a person, this good and kind person that he loves, and wants to facilitate in his happiness as aziraphale believes it could be. now we know that that would never be the case, and it's incredibly naive and reductive for aziraphale to assume this... but does aziraphale? it's not an action or offer made out of any superior or malicious intent, imo, but a way that aziraphale can protect crowley and they can be together without needing to run away... something that aziraphale only considered once offered the power to restore him.

i could talk a little more on crowley physically running away, especially how it's depicted in the book vs. show, but i think my answer is likely to get completely unwieldy if i do rn! but hope that maybe goes some way to at least depicting my understanding of what happened... again, i don't think any interpretation is necessarily wrong, and until s3 comes around and these two buffoons actually talk to each other, we won't know for sure!!!✨