#it also doesn’t help that i’m just a slow writer to begin with and do like

[hinadori-chan]

okay but to all the earring wearers out there imagine you and keigo wearing each others pairs sometimes

like, you in his little red princess cuts and him wearing your favorite pair

[mysaintkitten]

drabble prompt: your bf cheats on you and you seek comfort from your stepbro

WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI, stepcest of course, mutual masturbation

note: it’s been like two months since I’ve written so I’m sorry that I’m rusty :,( I hate how inactive I’ve been but my writers block has been sooo bad. praying I get over this soon and start actually getting back on track. anyway, hope you like! *also not proofread*

“Jesus, how could he do this to you?” Neil cooed empathetically as you sniffled. You couldn’t believe your boyfriend went and cheated on you, after all you’d been through together.

Typically your first instinct would be to confide in your friends, but it was far too late in the night and you knew none of them would be awake. So, hesitantly, you sought solace in your stepbrother.

He accepted you in and surprisingly provided you the comfort that you so desperately needed at a time like this.

It started off innocent, he really was just trying to help. He brushed your hair out of your face then rubbed your back, inching his body closer and closer until your thighs touched.

One of his hands sat behind you, while the other lightly grazed the top of your thigh, assessing your comfort level before going any further. When he noticed you didn’t push him away, he got more confident with his touches, his large palms massaging the soft skin.

“His loss,” he purred as he leaned into your ear, “he doesn’t know what he had.”

You blush and briefly shift away, but continue to let Neil touch you while his lips brush against your neck. This was wrong, neither of you could avoid this. But you’d always thought Neil was attractive, and all you want right now is to feel desired, so why not just see where this goes?

Neil’s teeth graze your neck, he whispers that he has an idea.

His plan quickly leads to your thighs over top of his, your glistening cunt and Neil’s hard cock sit mere centimetres away from one another. Neil’s got his hand on your inner thigh, running his thumb against one of your lower lips. Your hand mirrors his, as you lightly grip his base with your fingers.

“God,” he smirks at you, his eyes heavy with visible lust, “your boyfriend’s a fuckin’ moron”. He fucks his bottom lip between his teeth before moving inching his thumb closer to your folds, gently grazing it across your swollen clit.

An involuntary gasp falls from your lips at the contact, and your grip gets tighter around Neil’s cock in response.

He begins to rub slow circles against the sensitive nub, his eyes fixated on the way your cheeks flush deeper and your tits get harder.

He keeps rubbing, picking up his pace while his jaw goes slack. His thumb occasionally dips down to your opening, spreading around your arousal before bringing his attention back to the top. You’d almost completely forgotten that you were meant to be touching him back, until you feel his free hand rest over yours, guiding your soft palm up and down his cock just how he likes it. You mutter a small, almost inaudible apology, before pumping him all on your own.

Neil groans, his head dipping back, his eyes stuck on your leaky little hole. The hand that was just guiding you now rests on your other inner thigh, squeezing and massaging the smooth skin.

“N-Neil,” you mewl as you spread your legs further, inching your hips impossibly closer to his, the heat radiating off of his body is driving you insane. “This is bad, we gotta-“

Neil chuckles, taking his attention away from your clit to spread your lips apart, watching how it glistens and pulses for him. He dips his middle finger inside, your core eagerly accepts him in, clenching around him desperately as if she’s asking for more.

“How bad can it be if it’s got you this wet?” He taunts, “just wanna make you feel better, that’s all.”

He was undoubtedly making you feel better, the friction and warmth between your legs filtered out all of the unpleasant thoughts and emotions that were just racing through your mind.

As much as he likes your hand, it’s just not enough anymore. He suggests that maybe you should sit on his lap. Neil promises he won’t go inside, he just wants to feel you closer, it’s still just a little touching- isn’t it?

You straddle his lap, his flushed cock sitting lewdly between your wet lower lips. He chokes back a moan, his knees bent and feet planted on the bed with his heavy hands resting on your hips. Slowly, you roll your hips, grinding your sex against his throbbing length. You dip your head back and moan while his tip bumps against your swollen clit, your arousal crudely coating his length as you pathetically rut against him.

“F-fuck …” Neil chuckles breathlessly while he guided your hips skillfully, “you need me so bad, baby.”

Your head tipped back down and your lips found Neil’s. You don’t kiss, but your lips touch as you pant into each other’s mouths, mutually embracing the pure arousal dripping from each other.

“Yeah,” you whine weakly, your voice all high and breathy, “need more, need you.”

He groans as pre leaks from his tip, he was so set on not fucking you tonight, but the wetter and more insatiable you got- the harder it was to deny these urges.

“Maybe just the tip,” he pants with a grin.

—

I don’t feel confident about this .. like at all .. but I Need to get the ball rolling somehow. I’ll be going through my requests and seeing if anything can reignite my motivation. Wish me luck !!

[wisteriaw0rld]

I've been reading a few of your posts, and they're very cute! Can I request relationship hcs with the hashira?

-ˋˏ ༻the hashira’s༺ ˎˊ-

||synopsis: short romantic headcanons between you and the Hashira’s!

||character order: Tomioka Giyuu, Kyojuro Rengoku, Tengen Uzui, Obanai Iguro, Shinazugawa Sanemi, Himejima Gyomei, Tokito Muichiro, Kocho Shinobu, Kanroji Mitsuri

||a/n: I have writers block right now so I apologize if I’m slow on request’s.

˚ʚtomioka giyuuɞ˚

♡Giyuu is not used to being in a relationship. Nor is he used to receiving a lot of attention.

♡He’s especially not used to physical affection. When both giving and receiving your affection, he’s awkward. He doesn’t really know how to handle being in a romantic relationship. He’s bad enough at friendships.

♡With how inexperienced giyuu is when it comes to your relationship with him, you have to initiate most things.

♡And despite not being used to physical affection at first, he begins loving it. 

♡He adores hand holding. It makes him feel more comfortable. If the two of you aren’t holding hands, he’s mostly afraid of you wandering off and something happening to you.

��As a hashira, Giyuu doesn’t have a lot of time to spend with you but he does try his best. 

♡Whenever he comes back from long missions, he always chooses to visit you and spend some time with you.

♡Giyuu is also unintentionally protective of you. With the memories or his past he’s afraid something might happen to you.

♡And that’s what leads him to going to your house every night. Just to make sure you’re okay. 

♡He’s not big on cuddling and is often stiff the first few times but he’ll gladly do it if you request. Then again he’ll do anything for you.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚

˚ʚrengoku kyojuroɞ˚

♡Honestly, he’s just happy to be there for you. Rengoku loves you more than anything and isn’t afraid to show it.

♡He loves giving physical affection and adores doing acts of service for you.

♡He’s naturally good at showing his love for you. Out of everything you two do together he loves hugging you the most.

♡He also loves when you cook for him. Especially when he comes back from a mission. You cook for both him and Senjuro. 

♡Speaking of when he comes back from missions, he always finds something to bring back to you.

♡Every time he buys something for you, he always tells you it’s because it reminds you of him.

♡Kyojuro loves when he comes back and finds you waiting for him at the front of his estate.

♡His immediate reaction is to run over and pick you up while slightly twirling you.

♡He also enjoys cooking with you. Even if he’s not the best at it, he always loves to try. He always gets really messy, but he’s constantly helping you clean right after.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚

˚ʚtengen uzuiɞ˚

♡He’s always complimenting you. But the way he compliments is by calling you flashy or flamboyant.

♡Uzui often gets handys and loves physical affection. He also enjoys giving gifts to you. 

♡Uzui himself his picky when choosing gifts for you. He always says there either not good enough for you or not flashy enough.

♡Whenever he does bring something for you, it’s going to be grand. 

♡Instead of cuddling you, he enjoys it more when he can carry you around the estate. He loves randomly walking around while holding you gently bridal style.

♡He also loves going on dates with you. Mostly dinner dates. He has a habit of doing small things such as opening the door for you and pulling the seat out for you.

♡When out in public, he prefers having his arm around you instead of holding your hand. He’ll still hold your hand if that’s what you prefer, but he enjoys having his arm around you.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚

˚ʚobanai iguroɞ˚

♡Obanai is normally dense and harsh. But with you, he’s just really shy. He gets really flustered when it comes to giving him hugs and kisses.

♡Even when he’s in a relationship with you, he remains really shy.

♡He loves going on dates with you and loves spending time with you. 

♡Because of how shy and awkward he gets when it comes to giving you affection, he’s worried that one day you’ll just decide he’s not worth your time.

Since he’s not the best at verbally or physically expressing his love, he relies on gifting you things or doing little acts of service.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚

˚ʚshinazugawa sanemiɞ˚

♡He easily gets embarrassed by your love for him. Sanemi doesn’t really know how to handle the affection he receives and he definitely doesn’t know how to give love back.

♡He gets flustered enough when you do something nice for him so he struggles a lot with doing something for you. Mostly because he’s afraid you’ll tease or judge him.

♡You don’t really mind that he doesn’t always do small stuff for you. You know he at least tries.

♡The most Sanemi can do without getting a little embarrassed is hand holding and getting you a flower.

♡Despite being awkward in the beginning of the relationship, he quickly gets comfortable with you. 

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚

˚ʚhimejima gyomeiɞ˚

♡He’s a natural at treating people with all the love they need. And he treats you amazingly. 

♡Gyomei see’s it at his number one priority to make you happy. And he doesn’t once fail to make you happy.

♡He does everything he can for you. He loves your physical affection and he always gives you the attention you need as well.

♡He’s the type of person to be by your side as any time he can. 

♡Gyomei doesn’t really like leaving you whenever he has a mission. And he definitely doesn’t like when you go on a mission without him. 

♡He understands you’re strong but him being the strongest hashira puts a lot of pressure on him when it comes to your safety.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ 

˚ʚtokito muichiroɞ˚

♡Muichiro thought the two of you were dating before you even confessed to him. He acknowledged his feelings for you while you made your crush on him obvious. And with his horrible memory he thought you were already together.

♡He has a really bad habit of staring at you. Thankfully it isn’t a scary stare because he does it all the time. 

♡With how much Muichiro wanders off whenever you’re out in public with him, you’ve been forced to hold his hand all the time. And sometimes even that doesn’t work since he’ll drag you off with him.

♡Physical affection is his love language (after swordsmith village), and being honest, he’s not always the best at that either. He enjoys holding your hand, putting his head in your shoulder, and holding onto your arm.

♡Cuddling is also something he really enjoys. And although he’ll never admit it, he loves when you hold him.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ 

˚ʚkanroji mitsuriɞ˚

♡She has every single love language in the book and physical touch is her absolute favorite. 

♡Mitsuri is the type to do everything she can to make you happy, even if you assure her that she’s done enough.

♡She has to be by your side all the time. She can’t bring herself to be away for you.

♡She adores making you things rather than buying them for you. Mitsuri also loves making you food, even if you refuse it or tell her you’re not hungry. 

♡Cuddling with her is a must. She can’t last longer than a week without out.

♡As the love pillar, she sees it as her duty to give you all the affection she possibly can. She pushes herself to make you happy no matter what.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ 

˚ʚkocho shinobuɞ˚

♡Shinobu is definitely one for words of affirmation. She loves you and chooses to express her devotion to you verbally. However if you do prefer physical attention, she’ll gladly to that for you as well.

♡Despite preferring verbal love, she enjoys it when you sleep on her lap or on her shoulder.

♡She’s not big on hand holding either. Whenever she goes out with you, she’s always holding onto your arm or the sleeve of your haori.

♡If you ever have to end up going to the butterfly estate after a mission, she’s always going to choose patching you up first over anyone else.

[ahegato]

[NSFW] Obey Me - fem!MC first time with Asmodeus

m.list

TW: nsfw, first time sex, loss of virginity, swearing Characters: assmodeus Writer: ahegato

Context:  The MC would probably be pretty nervous since it’s the first time and stuff like that. Idk I lost my virginity when I was like 17 and now I’m really old, so I barely remember it. I just recall worrying about the pain while also knowing it was common, that’s about it lol

You/your pronouns, so basically gender neutral, bUT MC will have female bits.

lucifer (cumming soon) | mammon | leviathan | satan | asmodeus (ur here) | beelzebub (cumming soon) | belphegor (cumming soon) | diavolo (cumming soon) | barbatos (cumming soon) | simeon (cumming soon) | solomon

ASMODEUS:

the wisest one of the bunch on the topic, to no one’s surprise

he’s the literal avatar of lust, and he’s probably taken a bunch of virginities before

assy boy knows what to do to make things easier for you

he doesn’t want things to feel forced or pressured, so he tries to keep it lighthearted by being sweet and goofy

makes sure you’re completely relaxed through the process

if he notices that you’re getting anxious, he’ll pause and snuggle with you for a bit

and if you feel bad for pausing, he’ll be right there and reassure you that it’s okay

if you were to change your mind about doing it today, he would have no issues with it

he’s not together with you for the sex, he’s with you because he genuinely loves you, and he’s determined to prove it to you

again, he may be the avatar of lust, but he’s also the avatar of intimacy, of any kind

if you want to please him, he’ll give you instructions and be encouraging, reassuring you that you don’t have to be good right away and that he appreciates you just trying

“Relax, sweetie.” Asmodeus whispers as he slowly inserts himself inside of you. He lets out a moan once he’s all the way in, and he reaches a hand down to stroke your cheek. He continues to coo loving words to you, reassuring you that the pain is gonna go away soon, and that it’s going to feel so good after that - and he’s right.

Just like he said, the pain begins to fade when you’ve adjusted to his size. Once you give him the go ahead, he moves out of you, leaving you feeling surprisingly empty, to then slowly go back in, earning a small moan from you.

“You feel so good...” he moans through a sigh, changing the angle of his thrust, hitting you at the sweetest spot. 

He’ll do whatever you say. Wanna go faster? Sure thing. Want it harder? Absolutely! He trusts that you’ll tell him if anything feels off, as he’s always made sure that you feel like you can be open to him, so he has no issues getting a little rougher if that’s what you want. Not to mention again, but he’s the avatar of lust. He can tell if you’re genuinely enjoying it or not, and he has no doubts that you definitely are. The way you’re pulling him towards you with your legs wrapped around his waist, and how you’re hugging his dick even tighter than before.

When he feels himself getting close he slows down, much to your disappointment, and he chuckles at the displeased look on your face.

“Come here, I would like to try something.” 

Once you agree, he’ll pull you closer before laying the both of you down on your sides, his legs in between yours. He enters you again, snakes his arms around your back, before beginning to roughly thrust into you, the new position getting him even deeper and driving you absolutely nuts.

He lets out a short moan every time he pushes into you, the sound of your skin slapping against each other driving him wild, and he’s instinctively hugging you tighter.

“I...I’m about to cum...” he whimpers, slowing down a little to give you time to react.

It’s completely up to you where he finishes, whether it be inside you or on you. Afterwards you’ll probably be rather tired, so he’ll help you get cleaned up, and then he’ll snuggle with you in bed until you both fall asleep.

✦ written 04/2024, posted 22/05/2024 ✦ ahegato ✦

[blakbonnet]

AUTHOR OF THE WEEK: @soupbtch

Ever read a fic and go "they're so 😭" - that's every single Danny fic to me, aka today's second aotw feature, and god, what an amazingly talented author they are.

I'm so glad you decided to write and grace us with your lovely and bonkers fics, because I cannot imagine the OFMD fic world without your incredible Every Part of You series. I cannot imagine logging into this website without another incredible post from you. Every single thing you write (and do) leaves me in stitches and then, more often than not, you straight up chair your friends with your ultra soft way of writing how much they love each other - in between the much needed elbow fucking. You are such an amazingly kind person - hilarious, supportive, and the best cheerleader 💕 Thank you for answering my questions:

What's your writing process like? Do you start with the beginning or the end? Do you write in order or as the scenes come to you?

I start with a pretty detailed outline because if I don’t go in with a plan, I’ll drop threads and/or write myself in circles. Then I have my outline open on half of my screen while I have a separate doc open on the other half where I’m actually writing. I write in order from beginning to end.

Favourite trope or headcanon you like to explore while writing? (Things like Ed's sweet tooth, Stede's ability to bury his feelings etc)

I have a lot of fun writing angst, so I think any facet of that I can explore is a good time. Weigh them down with insecurities and see how far I can bend them with external factors like plot points, each other, or other characters before they snap. So things like Stede believing he ruins everything he touches, Ed believing he doesn’t deserve fine things, and how they both stand in the way of their own happiness because of these feelings. I also love exploring like, the horrible communication skills Ed and Stede have with each other when it comes to their emotions, and setting up story beats where that intercommunication can break down. Because they’re idiots (affectionate).

Whose voice is easier to write - Ed or Stede? Why?

Ed for sure. I find him very easy to connect with, emotionally. All my favorite characters think they’re unlovable monsters and no, this says NOTHING about me personally, etc etc etc.

Your personal favourite thing you've written that you'd like more people to read

Red Skies at Night! It's modern au, but they're still on a boat! If you like slow burn, bitchy Stede, Ed with a tongue piercing, fun costumes, and a big dash of pining, I def recommend checking it out!! ❤️

What is the one word that you think you use a lot?

The one that comes to mind is ‘blink.’ Kind of a funny one, but to me, it’s such a juicy way to imply so much while saying so little, so I know I use it frequently. Stede asks, “Do you trust me?” and Ed blinks back at him as he tries to work out why that question hits him like a truck (because the answer is a very easy yes). Ed says, “You make me happy,” and Stede blinks back at him in awe (because Stede? Making someone happy? That can’t be true). You get it.

Do you have a beta reader? Have they made you a better writer?

Yes, Beedle (@sleepystede) and Connie (@spirker) have both beta read for me! They’ve helped me tremendously with flow and rewording awkward sentences, and I’ve improved a lot from their feedback. Connie has also been invaluable to bounce ideas off of for new fics and just generally pushing me to be more creative through her never-ending support and big beautiful brain.

Why OFMD 🥹

I loved season 1 when I first watched it, but as soon as I saw the season 2 trailer, something clicked in my brain. Where season 1 was slow burn, will-they-won’t-they, is this real or are they queerbaiting, season 2 was posing itself as very, very clearly queer. Stede is going to get his man. That’s it, that’s the show. Undisguised, unabashed, unapologetic gay yearning and gay romance. There are a million other things I can say, but I think it really all comes down to that. What a gift. No one does it like our show. 💖

Please head over to @ofmdlovelyletters (who also made the header) and send your love to all your favourite authors (and authors of the week 😈 watch that blog for some special letters coming your way)

[99zurins]

“i know”

summary: lee chan knows he’s hot, but is too occupied with his craft. he knows you can’t stop staring at him too.

pairing: lee chan x f!reader

writer’s blurb: mullet chan x that silver chain x its2 chan working out!? makes me d word idk , also not proofread o well

contains: mirror stuff, rivals (in dance and in bed), they’re in a relationship they just like being dipshits to each other, bantering in bed, smut, use of toys (f. receiving; a bullet vibrator, a dildo), fingering (f. receiving), dirty talk, teasing, these hoes are nasty, intercourse (they have protected sex, please wrap it as always)

“f-fuck, chan.” you breathed out, tuning out the serenades of aaliyah in the background, as chan circles the little purple bullet vibrator around your sensitive clit and pumping in two fingers into you, leaving little marks on your neck and shoulder. “don’t stop, please.”

it was a long day of practice, as expected. the competition coach booked the room for the whole day, meaning everyone (yes, everyone) had to stay for the whole six hours. the beginning of competition season is coming up, the coach is on edge, meaning his antsy, nagging mood rubbed on everyone during practice. you barely spoke with chan all day (which isn’t a big deal, you both worked effortlessly on your craft and passion), although you can tell he was on edge too. after practice and a long hot shower, you both went home, hands barely to themselves—

“you’re so cute,” chan places a kiss on your ear, and continues to speed up his pace with his fingers. “you look so cute, look at mirror, babe.”

“n-no, i’m good,” you moan out when you make eye contact with chan briefly at the mirror before squeezing your eyes shut. “i’m getting embarrassed.”

“what is embarrassing?” he coos at you, removing his fingers and you hiss at the loss, but he slowly pushes in the little vibrator inside you, toying you at a slow pace. you whine a moan, throwing your head back on his shoulder, and chan spreads your legs out even more, rubbing the back of your thigh. you feel your wetness that was on his fingers spread all over, and you take deep breaths. “you’re enjoying how much i toy with you, right? it’s not embarrassing, baby. i know you were staring at me all day.”

“y-yes, but, hnngh—–“ you feel his fingers slip in your mouth, and your tongue instinctively swirls around them. chan groans at the action, making you lick his fingers even more. “why do you talk so much?”

“uh uh. no buts.” chan increases the vibration speed of the little vibrator, continuing to pump it in you fast. “i know i look good, but i’ve never seen you so desperate to jump me that quickly.”

“shut up!”

two things.

firstly, he’s wrong.

before you even started dating chan, he was your rival. always trying to compete with him, getting the coach’s approval first, or even get the choreography down faster. this still goes on between the two of you (in a partially joking manner), but today the coach called you out for not focusing, and all chan did was bluff at you, giving you an eyebrow raise and a breathy smirk. that’s why you wanted to jump him.

secondly, he’s not wrong.

it took all of your willpower and mental strength to not jump him during the middle of practice, because not only he dances so well, he fucking knows he dances well. and that he looks fucking hot doing it. you got distracted by the way chan moves his body, and it doesn’t help how the mullet suits him, the silver chain dangling around his neck, and the oh so thin white tank top clings onto his chest— he took it off because it got too hot inside and during a quick water break you can’t help it but ogle him, watching how droplets of water coming from his water bottle drip down his chest. your friend had to smack your head to get your attention, and told you to stop looking like you’re gonna suck his dick off.

“it’s not my fault my boyfriend is fucking irresistible, is it?” you whine softly when he removes the little vibrator from you, turning it off. chan licks the pad of his thumb, and does a light swiping motion on your clit to keep you distracted. he pats around the bed, looking for the other toy, and you quietly mumble it’s by the edge of the bed. he quickly grabs it, and you sigh in satisfaction when he puts in the pink dildo in you slowly. “i can look as m-much as i want.”

“mm, cute,” chan laughs in your ear. “you see me everyday, though?”

“fuck off,” you groan, and in rebuttal you awkwardly rut against him, feeling how hard he is on your back. “when will you fuck me already?”

“jesus, how horny are you today, sweetheart?” chan couldn’t help but laugh, he’s so amused by your eagerness. “you riding my thigh when we got home wasn’t enough?”

“no…”

“me eating you out with you bent over the coffee table wasn’t enough either? you sucking me off wasn’t enough?”

“of, of course, it wasn’t enough,” you whimper, the wet sounds growing louder as he thrusts the dildo in just a bit faster. “i want all of you so bad.”

“but you know i’m all yours?” he says low in your ear, and you moan in instinct. he slows the speed of his hand, shallowly thrusting the dildo in you, as his other hand plays with your clit. “you’re so possessive of me, honestly i’m so glad you have me, i love it when you get so needy for me, and you know how much you love it when i get needy for you, baby, no one can ever ever compare.”

“chan, please,” you try to sound demanding, it comes out as soft. “i’m so close.”

“you’re so sweet.” chan whispers, planting a kiss on your shoulder. you mumble something incoherent, and you finally find the courage to look at the mirror. the way chan uses the toy on you, how it spreads around you, how chan breathlessly smirks seeing your expression. you can see the appeal of why chan likes using the mirror during sex. you decide to boost his ego; moaning a little louder, calling him a good boy and a slut, and it works, you feel some of his precum sticking on your back, and chan couldn’t help himself but rut on your back. “that’s it, good, good, oh baby, look at how fucking blissed out you look for me. that’s it, come for me.”

you finally come, breathing deeply as chan helps you ride out your orgasm. planting soft kisses around your neck and face, before carefully pulling out the wet dildo and tossing it on the end of the bed. you instinctively close your legs, turning your body around to face him, pulling him in for a kiss. his hands take a hold of your ass, pulling your body towards you so you’re straddling him, and it takes all of his willpower to not come when you start grinding him down.

“you, fuck, you should take care of that,” chan mumbles, moaning when he feels your wet entrance tease his cock. “fuck, fuck, i’m not going to last,”

“i-i know,” you breathily reply back, feeling chan’s fingers slip inside you again. “grab the lube, honey.”

his free hand searches the nightstand for the bottle of lube, while you ride on his fingers. he lets out more desperate groans, you can tell he’s trying to imagine you riding him, how you clench around him, how you enjoy messing with him. he pats your leg, signalling you to lay on your back against the fluffy duvet, and you oblige. chan tosses the bottle of lube to you, grabbing a condom and tearing it with his teeth.

“i’m glad you know you’re hot,” you murmur, watching him with hungry eyes as he slowly rolls the condom on, jerking himself off. he grabs the bottle of lube, uncaps it, and pours a generous amount on his dick. he motions the pillow so he can put it under your hips. “it makes me wanna jump you even more.”

“you’re so mean.”

“but you like it when i’m mean,” you gasp when his fingers slip inside you again. he scissors you, enjoying how he toys with you.

“who’s mean now?”

“my, fuck, my point still stands,” you exhale, feeling yourself shake. “it’s called being versatile.”

chan laughs at that, and you try to find more friction, hips jerking when he briefly reaches the sweet spot.

“spread your legs.” chan says, removing his fingers and putting them on your lips. you open your mouth, and his fingers slip inside, and you relish how you taste, teasing his fingers with your tongue. he moans, removes his fingers out of your mouth, licks of his thumb and toys with your clit. you hiss at the sensitivity. “come on, honey.”

“so bossy,” you scoff, spreading your legs. chan just clicks his tongue at you, holding onto your hip with one hand, holding his dick in the other to guide himself in.

“you should behave.”

“then fuck me til i can’t think.”

chan slips inside, the stretch feeling familiar, but you still need a moment to adjust. you glance at the mirror, admiring how toned his back is, and let out a quiet moan, telling him to start moving. the sound you make encourages chan to move his hips. once he bottoms out, he picks up the pace, running a hand through his hair, groaning while fucking you against the mattress.

“i hate it how, fuck! coach needs to let me live, fuck, fuck,” you try to speak but your brain goes mush the more chan slams his hips against yours. “channie, you need to stop being so hot.”

“i know i’m hot,” chan groans when you try to fuck him back. the position is a little weird, but chan appreciates your enthusiasm, so he slows his pace, slipping out from you and gently flips you over so you’re on your side, facing the mirror again. he spoons you, spreading your legs before slipping inside again. “do you know how hot you are?”

“y-yes, fuck, you fuck me so well,” you sigh, eyes closing as your hands grip the duvet, listening to how wet you are the more he pounds into you. “more, please, fuck, fuck.”

“look at the mirror, baby.”

“i kinda don’t want to.” you joke.

“why not?” chan slows his pace again, whispering hotly in your ear. “you should see how well i fuck you, baby. how you stretch so perfect around me, the faces you make when you feel good, do you know i love making you feel good? i hope you know, baby, i’ll never get tired of giving you everything. open your eyes, you’re such a good little slut for me, it makes me wanna ruin you.”

“chan,” you breathe out, opening your eyes, seeing how chan is placing kisses on your shoulder while he continues to fuck you. “enjoy the show as much as you want.”

“i know, i know,” he chuckles, gripping your hips tighter, and he goes even faster. “you’re— fuck— too perfect for me, my little slut.”

“i’m close, mmrgh,” you whisper, letting out a whine. you clench around him, trying to tell him to go faster. “baby, please, come with me.”

“come on, baby, come for me, oh that’s my good girl, that’s it,” chan praises in your ear, going faster and you feel yourself orgasm, letting yourself unfold in the pleasure, breathing deeply. chan moans in your ear, hips stuttering as he reaches his climax, slowly riding it out before he stops, breathing quietly as he wraps an arm around you. you feel him plant kisses on your shoulder, telling you how well you did for him. you feel him soften, and he carefully slips out, quickly getting off the bed to discard the condom, before spooning you, bodies entangled, the love you both share illuminated by the dim lampshade.

“you okay, honey?”

“yeah, just tired. and gross. it was really good.” you mumble, kissing chan’s arm, and chan peppers your face with kisses.

“good, i’m glad,” chan softly says, running a hand through your hair. “shall we take a bath?”

“as long as you carry me there.”

“so spoiled.”

“i know, but you love me.”

“i know.”

[tryingmyhand-atwriting]

BEGIN AGAIN 

Chapter One : An Unplanned Run-In

Notes: Hi, everyone (or no one if no one bothers to read!) This is my first ever attempt at posting fan-fiction that I have written, although I have been a reader of it for years. I’ve been in multiple fandoms through out the years but never had the guts to post anything out of fear of not being good enough or no one liking it but I figure - if one person likes it or one hundred people like it, it will all mean the same to me which is utter gratefulness that will swell within me. I am posting under a side blog so no one will know it’s me although I think there is someone who has found me (if so, hi Elise I love you.) Even if you hate it and it sucks and is boring be nice to me please I am baby. That is all - if you have made it this far I am grateful for that too.

Warnings: SLOW BURN. Hang in with me folks once we get to the good stuff it’s promising. Also, new writer - that’s a warning in itself too.

Word Count: 6545

Ashley Tisdale would argue that at times she knew her best friend better than he knew himself. Since the first day they met their connection had been instant and not even time or distance had proven able to dispel the friendship they both helped to nourish.

Not seeing him for three years didn’t change a thing between them and the older sister intuition kicks in when he’s over for the first time upon returning, meeting Jupiter in person now that he’s home, when he says, ‘Member Isabela?” And a lightbulb goes on over her head.

Ashley remembers a pretty, young eighteen year old interning for Austin’s personal assistant in 2013 to 2014. Isabela had been kind to a fault and so gentle as a person that Ashley–and Austin–had developed a protectiveness over her. She had fit into their group effortlessly and there was a close friendship that had developed between Austin and her. So close they were, Ashley would joke about being replaced. It all went downhill after the Great Incident of 2014 and Ashley never heard Austin nor Vanessa speak about Isabela again.

She exits her kitchen, resting against the doorway with her arms crossed. “Yeah I do,” she replies wondering where he would take it next. Austin hums but doesn’t reply as he continues stroking Jupiter’s back, the toddler asleep on the couch beside him. “Did you run into her or something?” She probes.

“Nah, just been… reminiscin’, I guess.” But Ashley knows her best friend, knows by the clench of his jaw and glint in his eyes that he has more to say. Things he may not want to admit or isn’t sure he should admit. “When Lydia told me she was stepping down after havin’ her baby I asked if she had any contact with Isabela but she said they don’t talk anymore.”

Ashley does a double take. “You wanna offer her the job?” She isn’t sure how to explain to him that if someone reached out after years with no contact , she would have a lot to say to that person. Granted, Isabela would never give anyone a piece of her mind but to save Austin from rejection she knows he is in desperate need of some womanly advice. “Don’t you think that’d be, uh–I’m not sure these are the right words but–awkward and mean after what happened?”

“It doesn’t have to be for the job, Ash.” Austin shrugs his shoulders. “With all these new changes in my life I guess I just uh–I know what people I want in my life now.” Ashley has seen firsthand what he means. While paparazzi had always been a part of their lives, the recent attention and invasiveness being introduced to Austin’s life was something new. A level of fame even Ashley hadn’t achieved with High School Musical..

Ashley had faith in Austin and his talent, even if he wasn’t as confident in himself. She could see his wildest dreams coming true but with Elvis, Ashley also knew he had learnt some lessons scary enough they would never shake. She saw he was frightened to death of being made to be someone he wasn’t, of being put on a pedestal and failing to meet expectations. Most importantly, Austin was made aware of how quickly people came around for the wrong reasons, ready to take advantage of success, money, and fame. Someone who freely gave loyalty and honesty expected it in return, a betrayal of that nature would hurt Austin the most. Ashley had seen Austin lose himself and have to find who he was again, but the man who reemerged was skeptical, with a new point of view.

“So you want to make amends?”

It takes Austin a while to look at Ashley, his hand rubbing soothing circles on Jupiter’s back. “More than anything I just wanna talk to her.” But she sees the longing in his eyes when they meet hers and pieces of the puzzle begin to fit together.

That’s how Ashley ends up at Chucky’s Bar in Los Feliz on a Thursday night. She didn’t tell Austin that she occasionally chats with Isabela over Instagram because she didn’t want him to do something embarassing like slide into her DMs with a lame greeting and possible emoji. Austin was smooth and charming in many ways, but at the end of the day, he was only a man and this situation was better handled with a woman’s touch. All it had taken was a ‘miss you! when are you free?’ before Isabela responded saying that this was where she’d be on her last night in LA before she traveled to Hawaii for a work trip.

“Ashley! You came!” There’s a girly squeal and arms squeezing her from behind before she turns to face Isabela. There’s a wide smile on her face and her hair frizzes with the humidity of the crowded bar. Sweat shines on her face, mascara smudged under her eyes, but Ashley has to smile– Isabela never let perceived-imperfections dull her shine. “You look hot.” Isabela checks her friend out with an impressed grin.

“I feel out of my element. I can’t remember the last time I dressed up.” Ashley giggles, taking in her surroundings. “I’m also scared I’m going to start leaking and ruin this dress.” She gestures to her enlarged breasts, made more noticeable by the deep V-cut of her dress.

Isabela lets out a loud laugh. “Some guys like that,” she whispers conspiratorially and Ashley slaps her on the arm. Isabela grabs Ashley by the hand and begins leading her to a table, “Come on, a friend saved us a table. Victoria’s got bar duty tonight but she’ll be checking in occasionally.”

“Victoria’s still working here?”

Chucky’s Bar brought back many late night memories for Ashley. There were many drunken nights spent at the low-key bar where Ashley, Austin, and Vanessa had never been recognized. It was at this bar where Ashley met Isabela and her tough as nails cousin, Victoria, who was cold the entire night and would only make rounds to their table to make sure Isabela was drinking enough water to go along with the tequila. It had taken almost a month for Victoria to warm up to the former Disney kids. Ashley was sure any kindness on Victoria’s part was thrown out the window after the Incident.

Ashley would have found Victoria’s over protectiveness creepy if she didn’t understand why. Isabela was sweetly naive, always seeing the best in the world and people around her. An innocence that had probably broken her heart more than once. It hadn’t taken long for Ashley to feel the same way towards Isabela, like she was a younger sister.

“She practically runs this place. Derek’s one year away from retiring and he’s already promised to leave it to her.” Isabela’s face beams with pride. As they approach the table she turns to face Ashley briefly and catches the uncertainty in her eyes, the awkward hunch to her shoulders, that only comes when someone feels unwelcome. Isabela reaches to hold Ashley’s fingers in hers. “She’s gonna be on her best behavior, okay? I told her you were coming and anyways, everything that happened that day had nothing to do with you.”

Doesn’t it, Ashley wants to ask. Guilt gnaws at her, knowing she was meeting up with Isabela for selfish reasons. To do her best friend’s dirty work, get him into contact with someone who probably, most likely–definitely–wants nothing to do with him.

“We talking about how Victoria breastfeeds you?” There’s a busty redhead seated at the table. She’s loud in her proclamation and beautiful in a sheer silver dress. She’s gorgeous, her hair swept back in an updo and her legs crossed, the hem of her dress rising dangerously high. Already there’s more than a few curious eyes glancing towards their table. She smiles at Ashley but it drops when she catches sight of Isabela’s empty hands. She guffaws, offended, “Where are the shots? You get up and come back with no shots?”

Isabela tumbles into the seat beside her, laughing good-naturedly at her friend’s offense. It was obvious the girls had started drinking before her arrival but Ashley didn’t mind; she was planning on an easy night. Hangovers tend to be a multi-day affair once you hit thirty. “Luis said he’ll bring ‘em out to us,” Isabela tells her friend before presenting her to Ashley. “This is the worst influence in my life and the devil on my shoulder — Ash, meet Sky. She was my college roommate and yes, Victoria hates her. Doesn’t give you any right to talk shit about her though,” Isabela pinches Sky’s underarm for good measure.

“I wasn’t talking shit about her, I was making fun of you. The pretty princess stuck in the tower–you’re twenty-six.” It must be a sermon Isabela has heard before because all she offers in response to Sky’s mocking tone is an exaggerated eye roll and a shake of her head.

“Don’t worry, Victoria hates me too,” Ashley tells Sky. “She’s just always gonna look out for Isabela. No judgments here.”

Sky puts a hand on Ashley’s arm,eyes twinkling. “Oh my God. We should totally start a club.”

“I think you two booze hounds have had enough,” a blond waiter approaches their table, balancing a tray of shots. He looks toward Ashley, clarifying, “I mean those two. Especially this one,” he shoves an elbow into Sky’s side, the woman yelping and returning the hit.

Isabela leans over to touch his shoulder, imploring.. “Luis, you’re just in time. Their conversation was sobering me up.” She pouts, her lower lip jutting out.

“You just don’t like hearing the truth–”

“Not you too!”

“Ladies,” Ashley holds up her shot glass and a wedge of lemon, a strategic distraction, putting an end to the conversation. The constant back-and-forth chatter is definitely enough incentive for her to break her own self-imposed sobriety. “Are we taking this shot or what?”

“I like you,” Sky states, preparing her lemon with salt.

“Wait! We have to cheers to something,” Isabela insists when both Ashley and Sky go to throw the tequila back. She purses her lips to the side in thought, “What’s something all three of us can cheer to?”

“How about this,” Ashley begins, leaning forward on her elbows, “Sky’s here for you and so am I. So how about a cheers to Isabela for bringing us together tonight?” Isabela flushes, her lashes fanning against her cheeks as she avoids eye contact, flattered and flustered all at once. Ashley momentarily feels like she’s kissing ass, knowing she’s still wrestling with guilt over her ulterior motives, but she isn’t lying about her affection for her friend.

Sky extends her shot glass forward. “To Isabela.”

The night is a whirlwind after that. Ashley remembers a Pitbull song coming on that had Sky pulling both she and Isabela to the middle of the dance floor, smack between other dancers. There was another shot–or four–taken and by the time the girls are dancing to the fifth song of the night, now joined by a group of girls they had befriended at the bar. Ashley has to momentarily return to the table, ridding herself of her jacket.. It isn’t lost on her that the reason for her random request of a girls’ night out hasn’t been brought up once, but she doesn’t have it in her to ruin what has been an amazing night so far.

She could always try again. Preferably when it wasn’t her first time reuniting with an old friend in months.

As Ashley saunters back over to their spot on the dance floor, she catches sight of Sky’s silver dress towards the bar with Luis, no doubt asking for another round of shots. Ashley hopes–and doubts–that Sky forgot to order her one, the beginning of a headache pounding behind her eyes. Isabela’s still where she left her but a man has since joined her. He’s handsome, Ashley must admit, and standing almost a foot over Isabela who’s lacing her fingers together in front of her repeatedly. She has a smile on her face though,so Ashley doesn’t feel the need to interject as she nears.

“You’re sweet, but I’m here with my friends. Sorry,” Ashley catches Isabela apologize, her lashes fluttering as she blinks rapidly, and her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip. In anyone else Ashley would have taken the actions to be coy or flirty, but in Isabela she sees them for what they are–nervous tics. More words are exchanged and Isabela moves away when the guy places a hand at her hip. Ashley is debating on whether or not she should intercept and tell the guy to get lost, knowing it would be quicker than Isabela’s kind approach, when he throws his hand out beside him in a fist in annoyance before storming away.

Isabela stumbles back, flinching violently at his outburst, and Ashley’s beside her in the next moment, a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” She asks, scanning over Isabela. She didn’t see the guy touch her, but Isabela’s response worried her, as if he did more than utter cruel words to her. “Did he hurt you?”

“No, no.” Isabela shakes her head and attempts a smile but her eyes are glossy with unshed tears. “He just got mad and it caught me off guard, I guess. I’m fine.”

“Isabela—” you don’t seem fine, is what Ashley’s going to say but she’s cut off by the arrival of Sky–who did conjure up another round of shots–and two blonde girls they had been dancing with earlier.

“I got us more shots, bitches,” she whoops loudly, pumping a single fist. She drops the act once she takes in the heavy atmosphere. “What’s wrong?”

Ashley hesitates. Some guy was rude to Isabela and she almost cried, which was technically true, but her reaction hinted at something deeper–although the man hadn’t seemed to lay a hand on her. What worried Ashley was the possibility of someone else having done so..

“Some guy was a dick and caught me off guard. Ashley’s never seen my freak outs before.” Isabela shrugs, feigning nonchalance and maintaining eye contact with her friend. There seemed to be a million words said between them but their mouths didn’t move once. It was a look shared between best friends with no words necessary.

Sky shakes her head, turning to Ashley with another smile and extending the tray of shots again. “Isabela doesn’t go out much, so every time she does she gets shocked at what big assholes guys actually are.” She said by way of explanation, handing a shot to Isabela. “She’ll survive; it just takes her a couple seconds to shake it off.”

Ashley detects the bullshit lie, but it isn’t a topic she wants to press so publicly. Instead she politely declines the shot, “I need water for the next hour before Ubering home. It’s Jupiter’s birthday party tomorrow and I need to be up early to set up.”

“Oh, no,” Isabela’s brows pinch and she places her shot back in Sky’s hand. “I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t have asked you to come out to a bar if I knew you had to be up early tomorrow.” She interlocks her elbows with Ashley’s, pulling her to Luis’s section of the bar and signaling him for two glasses of water.

“I’m a grown woman, Is. And lack of sleep is nothing new to mothers. Having a newborn is like a hangover that lasts for months.”

Isabela chuckles, sliding her glass of water over. “What a lovely comparison!”

“I love being a mom,” Ashley defends, laughing. “But it’s not as easy as people make it out to be. At least it wasn’t for me. I called my mom crying so many times, sure that I was failing or ruining this perfect little person somehow.”

“You’ve officially talked me out of ever wanting kids.”

“Come on,” Ashley rolls her eyes. “You put everyone before yourself; you’d be the perfect mom.”

Isabela shrugs a shoulder, her elbow leaning on the table. “I don’t know. Maybe. I wanted kids when I was younger, but the past few years have basically been about my career. One thing is for sure though, I’d want it to happen on my terms and at the time I’m ready. No time soon.” The conversation and glasses of water have helped both of them sober up and, for that, Ashley is glad. The room isn’t spinning as much as it was before. Now, Ashley just feels drowsy as the alcohol leaves her system. Isabela must catch her tired expression because she hums, “What time should I be at your house tomorrow to help you set up?”

Ashley shakes her head vehemently. “You’ve got a flight tomorrow, miss. You’re going to need all the sleep you could get.”

“I could sleep on the flight,” Isabela returns smartly, her tone matter-of-fact. Ashley pushes her knee, sending her spinning on the bar stool. Isabela continues. “I feel guilty I had you come out! No way in hell are you setting up alone tomorrow before hosting a kids’ party. I’m helping!”

Luis interrupts their conversation, throwing a rag over his shoulder and refilling both glasses with more water. Ashley smiles. “Two beautiful ladies like you must be starving. My momma always said the way into a girl's heart was through her stomach.”

“I think your mom had it wrong; isn’t it supposed to be a man’s stomach?” Ashley laughs, but she has to wonder because food certainly sounded like heaven then.

“Two burgers to go please and then an Uber.” Isabela shoots him a dazzling, cheesy grin, her cheeks dimpling as she throws a hand over Ashley’s shoulder. “We’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”

—

Waking up early after a night out is harder to do the older she gets. If Isabela hadn’t offered to help Ashley with Jupiter’s birthday party set up and have a flight scheduled for later on that day she would have stayed in bed nursing her hangover for the next forty-eight hours. The breeze is fresh as she waltzes up to Ashley’s front door to ring the doorbell. It’s early spring and as is regular for Los Angeles the sun is bright and scorching but the wind is a welcome reprieve from the heat. Various trees are surrounding Ashley’s front yard but Isabela doesn’t dare take off her glasses. Her eyes were probably swollen and red from lack of sleep and overdrinking the night before. Come to think of it, she still felt slightly drunk.

She had been woken up two hours earlier when Sky had crawled into her bed. Ashley and Isabela had left the bar before anyone else and the late time Sky showed up at her apartment meant that Luis and Victoria must have let her and a few others continue drinking after closing time. Isabela doesn’t understand how Sky did it. Isabela hadn’t drank half as much but knew she would be suffering twice as hard compared to Sky.

“Hi, sunshine.” Isabela can only grumble in response to Ashley’s greeting, letting her usher her inside the house with a laugh. “I told you to sleep in. I’m making Chris do all the heavy work anyway.”

“I’m perfectly able,” Isabela insists, sliding her glasses atop her head. She claps her hands, taking in the balloons and empty candy bags surrounding the living room coffee table. “Put me to work.”

There were fifteen other children in Jupiter’s daycare class and each one had a specific diet request which meant each candy bag must contain different items and not be confused. Ashley handed Isabela a list of the kids name and items their goodie bag must contain and sat her down in front of all the miniature snacks and toys. Jupiter’s party was space themed and the small moons and planets that Ashley had bought to go in the bag made Isabela coo. Why were tiny things so unfairly adorable?

“I want to make sure they are perfect,” Isabela defends with a fond eye roll when she sees Ashley arching an eyebrow as she triple checks a bag. There’s a small smile on Isabela’s lips from Ashley’s teasing but when she puts her mind to a task she always has to make sure it is done right. Not to mention that focusing her full attention on the goodie bags had her paying less attention to how sick she still felt. Even when she was younger she had never handled hangovers well.

“Do you want me to place the trash can beside you? Need a reminder as to where the closest bathrooms are?” Ashley teases her friend, noticing the large inhale and exhale she’s continuously doing and knowing it is in efforts to tame her growing nausea. She had offered Isabela tums and breakfast but Isabela insisted the only thing she would be able to keep down was water.

“I hate you,” Isabela returns, leaning back to let the couch cushions swallow her. “Drinking is not meant for me. I don’t know why I keep letting Sky talk me into nights out.” She closes her eyes for a few moments. Her eyelids feel heavy and she wonders if her eyebags are as horrible as she imagines. Isabela knew she looked a mess when she was tired. She wasn’t lucky enough to be a cute drowsy girl. No. It was all dark eyebags and swollen eyes for her.

“Think of the memories,” Ashley insists. “Memories are all we leave behind anyway.”

Isabela pops one eye open. “That was dark,” she laughs, never having known Ashley to be anything but optimistic. She gets what she is trying to say though. It doesn’t matter how much money someone left you if they were pieces of shit throughout your life, you would have rather had good times with them.

There is a shift in Ashley’s attitude, a tension in the air and Isabela knew it would come up sooner or later. She remembers being back at the bar. Crowded and sweaty and that guy had been an asshole but it was nothing new — it wasn’t until he had turned his hand into a fist and swung it beside him that she had reacted. Isabela had flinched and it made her feel weak but knowing Ashley had caught sight of it caused anxiety to flare up in her chest and overtake every feeling in her body. Hangover and shame be damned. She was sick to her stomach deciding whether she wanted Ashley to know the truth or not.

“Is,” Ashley begins, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. Isabela doesn’t want to seem flippant or uncaring of the worries her friend is bringing up so she sits up and mirrors her position. Showing she’s listening but keeping what she hopes is a blank expression on her face so nothing is given away. “Last night at the bar… when that guy asked you to dance —” Ashley cuts herself off and Isabela has been through this before. Knows that the people in her life care about her and it hurts them to think about and they can hardly bear to ask. “If you don’t want to answer it, that’s fine. We’ll move on and I promise I will never bring it up again but I have to ask at least once. What happened with that guy at the bar?”

Isabela thinks back to her sophomore year in college, freshly twenty and in love with the new usual that had taken up residence at Chucky’s Bar. He’d been a couple of years older and had only recently graduated from university, he was on his way to taking over his family restaurant. He was sweet and funny, his family had been warm and welcoming and within a blink of her eyes her sweet dream had turned into her worst nightmare. His tight grips became punches, his jealousy became delusions, and the hopes of him changing for her were flushed down the drain. She knew the saying, ‘if they did it once they will do it again’, but she had been so young and dumb and blinded. She considers herself one of the lucky ones. The incident had only escalated once and she had managed to get away.

It’s been years and she’s had therapy. Isabela isn’t angry at the world. She doesn’t hate all men. Hasn’t sworn off to ever date again or anything like that but the memories still feel fresh in her mind. Sometimes more than others and they always succeed at making her feel weak because she can’t help her body’s physical reactions. She can admit that the memories paralyze her every single time she has to deny someone something or she is in a position to displease someone, even minimally. It’s what had happened at the bar: Isabela’s palms had begun sweating the second the guy approached her because she knew she was going to turn him down. He had been kind in asking but not so nice once she had declined his offer. It hadn’t been the curses he had called her that made her flinch. The flinch had been in response to the arm he’d thrown out in exasperation and more than anything she’s only embarrassed of her lacking strength.

It’s one thing to have your weakness known and another entirely to have to explain it. It was like baring your soul to every person you came in contact with and Isabela trusts Ashley but she’s not ready for the way Ashley looks at her to change. She doesn’t need another person in her life viewing her as needing to be protected.

“My ex boyfriend wasn’t so nice,” is what Isabela settles on and she hopes that it’s enough for now. She remembers her mothers tears and Victoria’s anger when she woke up in the hospital. Ashley’s eyes soften and tear immediately and Isabela isn’t ready to draw out any other reaction. She reaches over to place a comforting hand on her friend's knee, assuring her she was with her now. “Oh Ash, don’t cry,” there’s a wobbly lip accompanying her chuckle. “It was a long time ago and I’m fine, okay? I’m right here.”

There’s astonishment in Ashley’s eyes, wonder over the strength of the woman sitting in front of her. Talking of her pain and still choosing to comfort others. “I hope Victoria killed him,” is all Ashley can think to say and Isabela lets out a watery laugh with one last pat to her knee before bringing her arm back.

“Let’s move on to these balloons, yeah?”

Three hours are spent blowing up balloons and taping them together as well as convincing Ashley to not change every detail over the chosen theme. Chris had been seconds away from crying when Ashley suggested for the tables to be moved and it was only when Isabela convinced her otherwise that the tension in his shoulders seemed to release. He had made a crazy motion behind his wife’s back and Isabela had to bite back her laugh. She sympathized with the stress on Ashley in ensuring the party was perfect for Jupiter and she was glad if she was able to ease a sliver of that.

After meeting the gorgeous and chatty Jupiter she found herself bummed that she was unable to stay. Jupiter was kind in providing Isabela with a tour of her playroom and allowing her to color in her favorite art book. There were lots of gibberish and babbles that ended with Jupiter looking up at Isabela waiting for a response so all she could do was pretend she understood the little girl with responses of ‘oh yeah’ and ‘wow’.

“I don’t want to let her go,” Isabela complains with a pout, squeezing Jupiter for a goodbye hug that the toddler was more than happy to return. “She’s perfect. I don’t understand how you guys get anything done, I just want to have her in my arms all day.” She takes advantage of having her in her arms and decides to take one last whiff of her baby head before letting go. “Have the best birthday party, little lady. Eat cake until your heart's content.”

“Uh oh, someone has baby fever.” Chris cocks a playful eyebrow in Isabela’s direction.

“No, no, no. I’m more than fine being the cool aunt who gets to spoil them rotten and hand them back during tantrums,” she replies, placing both hands on her knees to rise from her couch on the entryway, Jupiter having disappeared to the backyard. “You two should have another one, though.”

Chris’s wide eyes and immediate head shake have Isabela laughing. Ashley elbows her husband slightly, rolling her eyes at him before responding. “That one runs us ragged. We wanna wait until she’s a little older.”

Isabela can understand that. “My flight is in three hours and I still need to shower —”

“Is that what I smell?”

Ashley rolls her eyes at her husband, “Ignore him. It’s what I do.”

There is a bright smile on Isabela’s face, content to be around friends and their marital teasing. Maybe she missed them more than she thought. She feels guilty for believing Victoria when she said Ashley must have had ulterior motives for an impromptu girls night. Isabela had been nervous and taken more shots than she should have before Ashley’s arrival, convincing herself it had something to do with the mishap from years before. Fortunately Victoria and Isabela were both wrong and she found herself letting tension release in Ashley’s presence.

“Make sure to send me lots and lots of pictures of Jupiter. I want to see her chubby cheeks smothered in cake frosting and her little face when she opens her gift.” The adults peek over in the direction of the distracted toddler. “Thanks for having me over.”

“Are you kidding? Thank you for helping. I would still be stuck in a stress frenzy if you hadn’t been my sound board today,” Ashley replies, pulling her old friend in for a hug. Chris has the door open for Isabela behind them as he lets them say their goodbyes in peace, knowing it may be a while before the girls would be able to see each other again. “Let’s not go that long without contact again, ‘kay?”

Isabela shook her head. “Now that I’ve met your little monster you aren’t getting rid of me.” There’s another round of waves and goodbyes before Isabela exits their home and they close the door behind her. She feels lighter than she had when she arrived that morning, sleep deprived and slightly hungover. The air breeze against her no longer has the morning freshness and the LA heat has managed to set in.

She takes solace in the fact that in a few hours she was going to be in Hawaii. It was a light work trip with her client only having one single interview and photo shoot so she knew she would have downtime to hit the beach and local restaurant. Isabela’s making a mental note to text Jessica, her coworker and client’s social media manager, as well as opening her notes app to see the packing checklist made the day before when she hears footsteps trudging towards her and her name being called.

There's a sinking feeling in her gut. A part of her wants to run away and hide, remembering the embarrassment and shame that was brought upon her that day, but there’s a voice in her head telling her to keep her head held high and act like nothing was off.

“Austin, hey,” she hopes her tone isn’t filled with the dread she feels.

There’s a pause before she allows herself to face him for the first time in seven years. Isabela has seen him on television shows and movies, on the cover of magazines and gracing the front pages of tabloids with his then girlfriend. She would have to be in hiding to not have seen him this past year alone with all the Elvis promo, but seeing him in person manages to take her breath away. He’s handsome and that hasn’t changed. If anything, time and new opportunities have done him well. She remembers a sad boy who had just lost his mother and didn’t know what to do with his life; he was skinny and lanky and hadn’t got a haircut in months.

The man in front of her had life in him. He’s filled out since the last time she saw him and she sees a gleam in his eye that wasn’t there before. Austin must be happy, its the only guess she would make, and no matter what he put her through, happiness and health is all Isabela would have ever wished for him.

“Ash didn’t tell me you’d be here,” he says as he approaches closer to where she stands. Isabela expects the hug, finds herself accepting it, and then she immediately hates herself after. “It’s so good seeing you. I’ve been thinking about you.” Austin has never been one to shy away from his feelings, he’s always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but this once she wishes he wasn’t so honest because it somehow hurts more to know she’s crossed his mind and he never reached out. “My assistant, uh, Lydia, remember her? She's pregnant. Told me last week and she was really happy. She’s gonna become a stay at home mom after, I think.”

There’s a brow arch because she’s unsure of how the news pertains to her. Isabela has talked to Lydia frequently through the years and the woman had called her a few days prior to share the news. “Yeah, she told me. Her and Raul are really excited. I mean, good for them, I know they’ll make the best parents.”

Austin looks like he’s gonna continue as he nods his head along in agreement but, “Hang on, you keep in touch with her?” He asks and he looks genuinely confused. It makes two of them because Isabela has no idea what’s going on in this conversation or what she could possibly have to do with Lydia being pregnant and why on earth it would be the first thing Austin wants to share with her after six years of no contact.

Isabela nods slowly. “She’s been a great help to me through the years. Helped me finish my internship and get an interview at this agency I’m at. I tell her she makes me feel like a nepo baby with all the connections she offers.” The fond eye roll shows all the love between the two women and transports Austin back in time to when there was a genuine friendship between them and he remembers to put the conversation back on track, where he wants it to head.

“Well, the job’s yours. If you want it.” There’s a dead silence that takes up the space between them. Quiet enough where he can hear the sound of the leaves rustling on Ashley’s front yard and the faint sound of a car honking from a block over. Austin feels the need to explain, “The past year has been amazing, Is, and I’ve actually got some of my favorite directors asking for me to read for their films. And with Elvis coming out, despite how it makes me sound like a complete dick, things are changing for me and I want people I can trust around me. You know, people who won’t come around for the wrong reasons or with bad intentions. When Lydia told me she’d help me find someone new all I could think about was offering it to you. I’ve got James, Kate, and people I trust around me and I wanna keep that going. I trust you. And I already know you’re damn good at your job.”

The betrayal that has simmered beneath her skin for six years - a betrayal from a friend and former employer, a betrayal that Isabela had forced herself to forgive without apologies being exchanged for her own emotional health - she feels the betrayal awaken in her chest as if it’s the day of again. She didn’t need anyone to plead for forgiveness and she didn’t need to be fought for but she always hoped that if a thought from him was spared for her it was because of more than him needing her for a job. A job he was only offering because he was big and famous and people were out to use him now.

Did Austin wake up and think, “hey, she was humiliated and treated like shit in my backyard and never spilled the beans to any tabloid so I must be able to trust her?”

Isabela reminds herself to take a deep breath. Austin was many things but he was never selfish or inconsiderate of others. His mom and sister would have never allowed it. Isabela had to come to terms with the fact that a moment of great disappointment and disloyalty in her life didn’t create an impact in his life. He hadn’t spent three days crying in bed afterwards or had a hard time getting hired for months after because gossip had made the rounds. Nope. The humiliation, sadness, and shame was left for her.

“I, um,” she knows that anyone else would have a lot to say. She wishes she had the guts to do the same but she doesn’t want to engage in an argument or have him give a meaningless apology. She doesn’t want him to know how much she still cares when he obviously had moved past it. “I’m taking a year off. Gonna take some time to travel and all that, but thank you. For thinking of me and offering.” She hopes her eyes aren’t brimming with tears because they sure are currently burning.

Austin looks disappointed and she wonders why he’d be anything but aware of the fact that she wouldn’t want to work with him again. Do they remember the day differently or something? She doesn’t have the gall to say any of that and she bites her lip to stop herself from easing any discomfort between them so the awkward silence grows between them before Austin moves to break it.

“Let me take your number down, at least,” he says as he reaches into his back pocket to pull his sleek black iPhone out and hand it to her. She takes it, noticing no phone case on and she cringes because her phone wouldn’t survive a day. “In case you come back from vacation early.” There’s a teasing lilt in his tone and she offers a small smile as she inputs her number for him, “Or just so we could catch up. You’ve been missed.”

There’s that eye roll again and it makes his stupidly handsome grin immediately return. For her part, she offers another small smile and wave as she heads down the pathway, “until next time, then,” she replies and when she turns she takes a deep breath to disperse the tightness in her throat. Although it’s unlikely, she wishes the next time is never because she wouldn’t survive another experience.

[kindahoping4forever]

Blood Moon Lit // Ashton Irwin

Hello! Thank you to everyone who continues to engage with my masterlist and ask about my writing even though the fics have slowed down again - even as a writer, I somehow can't find the words to describe how encouraging it is. It's because of that encouragement that I've got a new fic for you today! I've been working on some longer form stuff (partly to blame for my absence) and since those projects are gonna take some time, I thought it'd be fun to sneak in a quick, light piece to tide us all over. The lunar eclipse that took place last week (sadly rained out in LA) provided a burst of inspiration and I ran with it!

As always thank you to @cal-puddies, it's more apparent than ever that I don't know how to do this without her lol

Warnings: Friends to lovers!Ash, an overabundance of flirty banter, an obnoxious amount of references to Ash's beard. A conversation about weed. Protected first time sex.Just some classic fluffy smut vibes.

Word Count: 6585

Masterlist // Ko-Fi linked above

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!

“You know, according to the Farmer’s Almanac---”

“How many times do I have to tell you that’s an absurd way to begin a sentence?”

Ashton tosses a crumpled up napkin in your direction, good-natured glare on his face. “If you’re gonna invite yourself over to my house to watch the eclipse, it’s only fair that you listen to my moon anecdotes.”

“Alternate perspective: if you’re going to be offering up moon anecdotes to a captive audience, you should spice up your presentation. You’re a professional entertainer, Ash, you should understand.”

You cackle watching your friend’s face twist and contort as he struggles not to laugh at your ribbing. He scratches at his beard, aggravated and amused, and you can’t help but smile. He’s so expressive, you love getting a reaction out of him.

“Next time, you can throw your own damn eclipse party, I don’t care how lame the view at your apartment is,” he declares, knocking on the kitchen island for emphasis.

You shrug, “Lucky for me, the next lunar eclipse isn’t until 2025, so I’ve got time to find some better digs.”

“I’ve got time to find better friends,” he mutters under his breath, giggling at the sound of your offended gasp. Apparently he loves getting a reaction out of you as well.

You pout, “Aww, if you didn’t want me here, would you really have gone to this much trouble?” You hug his broad shoulders, cozying up to him, smiling at how he seems to melt against you. You gesture at the spread of snacks on the tray in front of you. “Crescent sandwiches, moon pies, Mars bars, Milky Ways…”

“Not a lot of moon specific snacks out there, had to extend the theme to the entire solar system,” he chuckles, nudging you with a pack of Starburst, gesturing for you to follow him outside.

It’s not that you invited yourself over to Ash’s tonight, it’s just that when you complained how obscured the view is at your place and he responded by mentioning how much he loves watching the moon from his garden every night… Well, that sounds like an invitation, now doesn’t it?

You trail behind him as he sets the food on a table in the backyard and pulls two bottled waters out of a nearby cooler, handing one to you.

You grab a sandwich off the tray. “Do you want to finish your almanac anecdote, buddy?” You ask sweetly as you settle in, laying across the patio couch he’s set up.  

Distracted, he pats the pockets of the button down shirt he’s wearing. “You’re only being nice to me now because I’m feeding you," he sighs.

“Well, yeah, that’s the key to most positive interactions with me. We’ve known each other for how long and you’re just realizing this?” You crack, grabbing the lighter out of your shorts pocket and tossing it to him.

Ashton snorts at your joke and bends down to light the candles on the table. You may be friends but you’re also human and can't resist noticing how well his jeans fit him, especially when pulled tight across his ass like they are right now. The sound of him dropping the lighter back onto the table stirs you from your thoughts and you tune back into the conversation.

“...So that’s why some cultures advise people not to eat during an eclipse,” he shares proudly, sitting in a chair across from you.

“Interesting,” you respond breezily, giggling as he sticks his tongue out at you, clearly able to tell you weren’t paying attention.

“Listen, I don’t see you attempting any trivia to pass the fuckin’ time,” he snarks. 

“I didn’t know there was gonna be a pop quiz, dude,” you gripe. “Besides, why are you worried about filling time anyways? If you went to the trouble of themed snacks, I know there's no way you didn't slap together a playlist."

"Ah, I have been perceived," he admits with a grin and with a few swipes of his phone, "The Killing Moon" by Echo and the Bunnymen begins pouring from the speakers just outside the house.

The eclipse begins just after midnight and the full visibility - and accompanying "blood moon" coloring - isn't due for almost another two and a half hours so the two of you vibe, snack and banter for a while, occasionally peering up at the sky and commenting on if you think the moon looks different yet or not. 

After about an hour, Ash disappears inside for a few minutes and returns holding two cups of steaming hot coffee, the pink blanket from his living room couch slung over his shoulder.

"How'd you know?" You coo, beaming up at him as he spreads the soft material over your legs.

"Because I know you," he laughs, watching as you warm your hands on the mug he just handed you. "Offered you sweats to come out here, you refused and still spent the entire time trying to yank that hoodie - which I expect back by the way - over your legs."

You defend your choice, "I like the cool air on my legs!" 

"Why is that such a girly thing? The oversized hoodie with the tiniest shorts? Like are you hot or cold? Pick one."

"Says the man who went inside to get his cozy jacket and yet hasn't thought of buttoning his shirt."

"Maybe I like the cool air on my chest," he mimics you with a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh, is that why your nips always look ready to cut glass?"

He nearly spills his coffee laughing. "You been checkin' out my nips, baby?"

"Nah, just conscious of sharp hazards and when I should be wearing protective eyewear," you joke, ignoring the flush you involuntarily feel when he casually calls you 'baby' like that.

Ashton giggles gleefully as he turns his attention to the sky. "These clouds are making it hard to tell what's supposed to be there, eclipse-wise," he complains. He crosses over to your couch and in one easy motion, lifts your legs up and places them in his lap as he sits down. He points, "That right there? That's moving, right? Must be a cloud. But what's that next to it?"

If you're being honest, you can't see what he's talking about too well from this angle but you're not sure you're ready to move and give up the feeling of his legs warming yours, of his hands subconsciously drumming on the blanket covering you. You like feeling him close. 

"I mean… you can still kinda see light through it so it's probably cloud, yeah?" You reach for your phone to check the weather. "Damn, why is there so much coverage though, didn't you say it's not supposed to rain until the morning?"

"Yeah not ‘til like 5 or 6," he answers. He squeezes your legs. "By the way, if it starts before that, you're staying here. I don't like you driving home in the middle of the night and in a storm."

"Whatever you say, Dad." 

He scoffs, face coloring ever so slightly. “Excuse me for caring about you staying safe.”

He looks damn good when he’s embarrassed and you decide you’d like to see more. “Sorry, you’re right. Whatever you say… Daddy?”

“Oh, fuck off,” he laughs, a little too loud, a little too hard. Cheeks now an adorable shade of pink, he playfully shoves your legs off his lap. “Get outta here,” he adds for good measure.

“Rude,” you accuse, grinning as you catch yourself before you fall off the couch, adjusting your position to sit next to him. 

You steal a glance over at him as he looks upwards again: his curls messy from laying around, shirt askew and exposing a generous amount of chest, chest you know to be warm and solid and full of hair that tickles your face every time he pulls you into a hug when he’s wearing a shirt like that. He looks nice. Comfortable. Comforting. You want him closer and you’re contemplating how to achieve that when he suddenly gets up from his seat.

The disappointment that runs through you is mercifully temporary as Ash drags the cooler over in front of the couch to use as an ottoman. He plops down next to you again and stretches out, putting his feet up, sighing in satisfaction. You do the same and use the opportunity to toss the end of your blanket over him, scooting closer so that you’ll both fit under it. You rest your head on his shoulder and he doesn’t seem to mind, just like you don’t mind the designs his fingers begin tracing on your knee.

“Can I ask something?” Your voice breaks the silence. The designs stop. Interesting.

“Depends,” he says wryly. He seems nervous. You like it.

You throw him a curveball. “Are we not smoking tonight?”

He snorts, nudging your knees with his. “Take over my garden, eat my snacks, now you want my weed?”

“See, I’d argue that having someone over to literally just stare at the moon for hours implies drug use is on the agenda,” you muse. “I’d argue that Ashton Irwin having someone over to his house in general implies there’d at least be an offer.”

He pokes your side as a means of protest and you squeal in response. “Truth be told, I thought about putting a couple joints on the table but I didn’t want you falling asleep before the big show even started,” he explains, mischief dancing in his eyes.

You drop your jaw in exaggerated offense. “That’s never---”

“Your birthday, my birthday, select dinner parties, two weeks ago when we watched that movie… that one time I think we were watching the Olympics…”

“OK, OK, I get it… Jesus,” you concede, amused at how much he’s enjoying calling you out like this. “Listen, maybe if you didn’t smoke fuckin’ industrial strength weed…”

“Maybe if you’d bring your own stash every once in a while instead of just mooching off mine,” he zings back, squeezing your thigh to make sure you know he’s kidding. He lets you pout for a few beats before he adds in a notably softer voice, “I actually did go to the shop the other day and picked up some of that hybrid you told me you liked. Maybe if this goddamn moon ever does what it’s supposed to do, I’ll break out with it.” 

You offer him a fond smile. “Ya ol’ softie,” you tease, ruffling his hair. Your logic brain tries to convince you it was because you wanted to annoy him but the impulsive part of you suspects you just really wanted to touch him for some reason. 

In a move that appears to surprise even himself, Ashton closes his eyes and contentedly leans into your touch. He attempts to course correct by peering at the sky and observing, “The moon’s definitely gotten darker… but that storm really looks like it’s moving in quicker than they said it would, there’s even more clouds than before.”

“Gonna be such a waste if we can’t even see the blood moon after all this,” you comment.

“Ouch, I’m having fun hanging out with you too,” he cracks, nudging you with his knees again. You don’t think his body has been out of contact with yours since he sat back down. Interesting. 

You bump his shoulders with yours. “So fucking sensitive,” you laugh, shaking your head. “Like I probably wouldn’t have been hanging here tonight anyways.”

“That’s true,” he agrees. “You’d definitely already be asleep on my couch by now.”

“Oh my god, Ash, I do not pass out here that often!”

“Why’d you think I served you a giant cup of coffee at 1 AM?” 

“You’re actually the worst person I know, congratulations.”

“Just figure you took the whole ‘make yourself at home’ thing a bit too literally.”

You turn to stare daggers at him and the resulting burst of laughter he lets out is so intense it echoes into the night.

“As if I'd be able to fall asleep out here anyways, I’m fucking freezing,” you grumble. He takes a breath to respond but you cut him off. “And I know it’s my fault for not borrowing the sweatpants, we’re all aware, the media will be calling for comment in the morning.”

His laughter continues and though you’re committed to your performance as a pitiful, mocked guest, watching him react to your plight is so endearing, you’re having a hard time keeping a straight face yourself.

He finally stops long enough to gasp out some breaths and wipe his eyes. “Aww, I’m sorry, baby,” he says, somewhat sincerely, though you can still detect a faint chuckle in his voice. He tries again. “You’re still cold, though, for real?”

“Yeah, dude, the temperature’s had to have dropped at least ten degrees since we’ve been out here.”

You’ve barely gotten through half of your sentence before Ash is pulling your body closer, laying your head on his chest, tucking you inside his jacket and wrapping his arms around you. “How’s that?” He asks, vigorously rubbing your arm.

“Um…” Your mind is blank and suddenly you swear you’ve never had a thought in your life, the concept of language is entirely outside of your grasp. All you know is you wanted him close and now Ashton is literally all around you. You take a deep breath to reset your mind but it only makes things worse, he smells incredible.

He reads your stammering negatively and starts rambling, "I thought about setting up that little fire pit for us but I didn't want to light things up too much and take away from the view." He continues fussing over you, holding you tighter. "I could see if I can do it real quick…"

“No, Ash… it’s fine, I’m fine,” you quickly insist, unwilling to give up this embrace for any reason. Trying to play it cool, you quip, “Plus it’s getting late, can’t have me getting too cozy, anyways.”

Your humorous sidestep provides enough of a misdirect and the two of you lay in comfortable silence for a bit. It’s long enough for you to finally relax into him and start thinking about how nice and natural this feels, how you kind of want him on you like this all the time, how you’re not sure if you’ve ever felt this warm and content or if you’ll ever feel this way again. 

Unfortunately it’s also long enough for you to start overthinking things and now you’re wondering if he can feel how fast your heart is beating, if he’s noticed all the subtle breaths you’ve been forcing yourself to take. You pause. OK, his heart feels like it’s beating pretty fast too. Wait. Really? Shit, thinking about his heart beating fast is making yours beat even faster now. The fuck?

He’s not… you’re not… right? You’re obviously aware that Ashton is an attractive man. Super charming. Thoughtful. Caring. And yeah, you get along great. He understands you, listens to you, confides in you. Sure, you have chemistry. All friends do, don’t they? 

He senses that something’s up with you and you swear you’ve never felt anything as intense as his hand squeezing your shoulder as he quietly asks, “You OK?”

You look up at him… since when is he this gorgeous? The sleepy smile on his face, creating deep dimples in his cheeks and friendly crinkles around his eyes, eyes filled with equal parts curiosity and concern for what’s going on with you. The dark beard on his face draws attention to his perfectly pink lips, lips that he nervously licks and catches between his teeth while he waits to hear what you have to say. Lips that you’re definitely staring at now. Lips that you’ve never given this much intentional thought to. Ashton’s lips. Fuck.

“Yeah, yeah, all good,” you nod, tearing your eyes away from his suddenly irresistible features. Desperate to distract yourself from your thoughts, you ask, “Got any more moon anecdotes for us?”

“Pfftt, why? So you can make fun of me some more?” He replies pitifully, jutting out his lower lip in an exaggerated pout.

Those goddamn lips. Fuck.

"It was a genuine question!” You sit up and train your eyes on the clouds, figuring it’s best not to look at the man sitting next to you until you figure out exactly what your brain is doing. “Might as well learn something while we wait.”

He giggles, “Ah, ‘might as well.’ My favorite conversation prompt!” You jab at him and he giggles harder. “I dunno, what kind of anecdotes do you want? You clearly thought my almanac shit was lame.”

You laugh, “Because it matters so much what I think?” The tiny shrug he gives in response gives you a butterfly feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your brain needs a channel change ASAP. “Give me some of your hippie dippie anecdotes. Like, we know why the moon is doing this but what does it mean?” 

Ash grins. “You’re still making fun of me but I’ll allow it.” He purses his lips and strokes his beard while he thinks of what topic to present to you. “Well… you know all eclipses can be considered symbolic, spiritual events.”

“Sure, everyone knows that.”

He squints, unsure whether or not you’re being serious but unphased regardless. “But did you know that emotionally a lunar eclipse is about three times more powerful than a solar one?”

“Oh?”

“You seriously want to know?” He asks, looking you over in a way you’re assuming is meant to be playfully skeptical but makes you feel flushed nonetheless.

Your laughs blend together as you elbow his side. “Yes, you weirdo! You’ve been trying all night to tell me about the moon, now’s your shot!”

He begins explaining this theory, animatedly detailing bits of ancient mythology for context. You listen with genuine intent but you also find yourself focusing on the way he’s talking to you, the excitement behind his eyes as he shares his knowledge, how he uses his hands to punctuate his ideas. Have his hands always been so large and attention grabbing? You try to zero in on his words but unfortunately, that brings you back to his lips, which are wrapping around every word he says in the most inviting way.

In an effort to remove the visual conundrum of Ashton entirely, you lay against him again. Without breaking his train of thought, he recalibrates, arms coming back to gently cradle you, voice dropping to a softer tone. “...So it’s basically like you’re getting all the effects from a full moon and an eclipse all at once,” he summarizes. 

“Oh, I guess I never thought of it like that before,” you think out loud. You smile because you practically hear him buzzing at your interest. “Both of those events are already centered around transformation, so combined that’s a lot of energy being put towards change.”

“Mmm hmm. And this one’s a blood moon too, which also fits that theme.”

“I thought a blood moon was more like… destruction. Chaos. That’s why those tattoos of yours make so much sense,” you tease.

He cackles loudly. “Can’t give a guy a break for one second!” You look up to flash him an innocent smile and he affectionately rolls his eyes before going back to the conversation. “It can mean those things. But I’d say those are forms of change, right? And it can also symbolize rebirth, which is change.”

“True.”

He’s quiet for a moment before he launches into his next idea. “I really like how it all works together to form a bigger conversation about exploration, evolution.” He waits for the inquisitive glance he knows is coming from you and when you deliver, he continues. “So a full moon is full so that’s an opportunity to think on what you’re grateful for, the fullness in your life, right? But you can also use those feelings to set your intentions by the full moon, what you want your next phase to contain. Evolution.”

“OK…” You nod.

Fuck.

“And then an eclipse is a harbinger for change… could be an ending, could be a beginning.”

“Could be both,” you point out.

He squeezes you encouragingly. “Exactly! And then the blood moon is interesting because it’s, you know, refracted sunlight - literally light shining through the darkness. So that’s connected to intentions hidden below the surface…” He pauses long enough that you look up to see why he stopped talking and he locks eyes with you. “Evolving something you maybe thought you were already content with… or exploring wants and desires you didn’t even know were there.”

You trust your face to remain neutral while your mind races. Evolving something? Exploring wants and desires? It’s all a bit too on the nose… maybe you’re reading too much into things, looking for excuses to be feeling the way you’re feeling, thinking what you’re thinking. But the way he looked at you when he said that… you’ve never been smoldered at before but hey, apparently every aspect of tonight’s moon is super gung ho about new experiences so why not?

Ash holds your gaze, looking at you somehow both patiently and expectantly as he waits for the conversation to continue. Your logic brain and your impulse brain have differing ideas on what an appropriate response would be so you buy yourself some time. 

"I mean… I think there's definitely something to all that but it also seems like a good opportunity for people to be reckless and then just blame it on the moon if it doesn't go the way they wanted."

Soft smile on his face, he shrugs. “I don’t know if it really matters to be honest, whether it’s an actual influence or just helps you frame your perceptions differently? Maybe that safety net of ‘the moon made me do it’ gives people the courage they need to act on feelings they felt they couldn’t otherwise.” His eyes stay fixed on you while he speaks. “Doesn’t make their actions any less valid. Inspiration is still inspiration.”

Fuck. 

He definitely just snuck a peek at your lips.

Fuck.

Logic brain and impulse brain are arguing louder than ever… but curiosity brain decides to drown them both out and you find yourself coyly replying, “Well then… are you feeling inspired tonight, Ash?”

The corners of his mouth curl into something more teasing than a smile but softer than a smirk. His fingers brush along your jaw before hooking under your chin to tilt your head towards him. 

Fuck. This is really happening.

You're not sure what's louder: the voice in your head screaming excited obscenities at you, your shallow, shuddered breathing or your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

You lean in to meet Ashton halfway and his lips finally brush against yours. Those lips. Ashton’s lips. They're softer than you expected and sweet, still faintly tasting of the desserts you shared earlier. His lips are undemanding, applying gentle pressure, moving slowly, unrushed. The kiss is commanding but cautious. Persuasive but respectful. Simultaneously a screaming exclamation and a tentative question, both eagerly awaiting your response.

You expect your brain to be bombarding you with a million questions and concerns but you're stunned to hear… nothing. No racing thoughts, no self-conscious reprimands. Your mind has suddenly found peace, content to be exploring… whatever this is.

You eventually break apart and he studies your face, clearly trying to gauge your reaction to this unexpected territory. Your brain doesn’t offer up any coherent thoughts, let alone words to say, so you pull him back in, opting to let your lips silently share with him how you’re feeling. He lets out a satisfied hum against you, reciprocating your energy and your mouths move together frantically, your skin tingling both from excitement and from the friction of his beard.

Without even realizing you're moving, your hands tangle in his curls, pulling him closer as your tongue swipes over his lips, seeking permission to deepen the kiss. His hands settle on the back of your neck, thumbs lightly stroking your cheeks as he accepts your invitation to finally kiss you with the full force of his passion. 

The next time you break for air, you waste no time in adjusting the blanket so that you have room to straddle his lap. He delightedly chuckles your name as you settle on top of him.

“This feels like one of those reckless things you were talking about,” he teases, running his hands up and down your sides.

“Mmm hmm,” you lilt, leaning in to peck along his jaw on your way to tongue at his earring, an idea you’ve been fixated on for most of the evening. 

He groans deliciously as you catch the tiny hoop between your teeth, giving it a light tug before you move your attention back to his lips. “Do we need to take a beat and think this through?” He asks before capturing your face between his hands and planting his most heated series of kisses yet.

You shiver at the way he caresses your cheeks, at the realization that his hands are large enough to cover basically your entire face; Ashton assumes you’re trembling from the cold and pulls away to reposition the blanket around your shoulders. “Oh, this is clearly a huge mistake,” you answer, tone unconcerned as you run your fingers through the chest hair peeking out from his shirt.

He giggles, ticklish at your touch, as he brings you back in. “Definitely in ‘ruining the friendship’ territory,” he laments with a grin. 

“Irreparable damage being done,” you agree, smiling back, closing the space between you. The kisses seem to increase in intensity each time you break apart and come together again and you soon hear yourself murmuring at the feeling of his hands giving your ass a light squeeze. You roll your hips in response and can’t help whimpering again when you find him half hard beneath you. Ash. Hard for you.

You never considered yourself a greedy person but the more you make out with Ash, the more you’re fascinated by it. It’s satisfying, it’s electrifying, it’s… Ash. You want to feel everything he has to offer, you want to feel him everywhere, you want to feel overwhelmed by him. More. You just need to feel more. More of Ash.

“Do you care?” He asks, gently tugging your hair back so he can nip at your neck.

“About destroying our relationship?” You joke breathily as his beard scratches at your tender skin. You grind in his lap a little more and the groan he gives you in return makes you feel lightheaded. “The better question is: if we’re gonna do something foolish, how stupid do we want to be?”

Ashton bucks his hips against you and you moan, louder than you mean to. He licks his lips hungrily before replying, “I mean… I have no problem admitting I’m having some pretty dumbass thoughts tonight.”

“Just tonight?” You giggle, squealing as he playfully tosses you onto the couch to lay on your back, slotting himself between your legs. His mouth attaches to your neck again while his hands slip under the hem of your sweatshirt, fingertips chilly against your skin, a pleasantly surprised hum escaping him when he grazes your bare breast. “Wanted to be comfy,” you shrug, arching your back to encourage him to keep touching you. 

His large hands wander on your body, unlocking a newfound level of desire for you and the urgency with which you kiss him is a testament to that. You writhe under him, mewling at the way his hardness feels against you. He grins against your lips, hand traveling down to play with the hem of your shorts. “I know my answer but how stupid do you want to be?”

You watch him closely as you guide him under your shorts, pressing his hand to your clothed center, letting him feel the heat between your legs, the wet spot that’s been forming since he sat down next to you. He meets your challenge and pushes your panties aside; he curses under his breath as he drags his fingers through your arousal, swirling light circles on your clit, all while maintaining eye contact with you.

“Mmm… Ash…”

“Yeah? Like that?” He rasps, clearly affected by watching you react to his touch.

You nod, gently pressing on his hand to receive slightly more pressure. Your head spins at how intimate it is to look directly into his eyes as he pleasures you, to feel so completely seen as you moan for him. It’s got you feeling needy and you pull him back up to your lips, seeking more connection with him.

His teeth nip at your bottom lip, fingers still teasing when he breaks the kiss, groaning into your mouth, “So wet.” He raises his fingers to his mouth, noisily sucking his fingers clean. You pant beneath him, restless, and he asks in an earnest, strained voice, “Tell me what you want, baby.”

It’s a simple request and yet one of the hottest things you’ve ever heard. “Wanna be so… so fuckin’ stupid with you.” You reach to palm him through his jeans. "Think you can run inside and grab a condom before we talk some sense into ourselves?"

Ash grins as he plants an impassioned kiss on you before taking off for the house. You make the couch more comfortable, putting a pillow for your head at one end and spreading the blanket out at the other, ready for you to crawl under. You're shimmying out of your shorts and underwear when he reappears, protection in hand.

"Afraid I was gonna change my mind that quickly?" You joke, wincing at the cold air on your naked bottom half as you toss your clothes aside.

He snorts and gestures to the room you entered the patio from. "I had some condoms in the den, so."

"Oh my god, are you one of those guys that keeps condoms in every room of the house 'just in case'?" You smirk at him as you lay back down. You take his slightly exasperated sigh as your answer and you can't fight the urge to tease further, coughing out a quiet, "Whore."

"And yet I'm not the one pantsless in some dude's backyard at 2 AM," he teases back, lightly slapping your ass as he covers you with the blanket. 

He sits at the end of the couch, helping you get situated before stripping himself. You love the spontaneity of the situation but you have to admit you wish you could see him better; your imagination is going wild as the late night darkness seems to amplify the smack of his cock hitting his stomach, the hiss he lets out as he strokes himself before rolling the condom on.

You hold the blanket open for him to climb inside and on top of you again. He smiles softly at you, offering a slow kiss as one hand slips under your sweater again, the other between your legs. His tongue teases yours, licking into your mouth with precision while his fingers play over your clit and you start to wonder what it’d be like to feel his tongue on your pussy instead, his beard scraping against your inner thighs, your fingers tangled in his hair, pushing and pulling to where you need him most.

The fantasy elicits a moan from you and Ashton takes that as a prompt. He asks quietly, “Ready?" You nod, pecking at his lips once more as you feel his tip nudging at your entrance. He begins to push in and your groans mix together in a sensual harmony.

“Oh… holy fuck, Ash,” you sputter, gripping at his shoulders as he continues to slide in. Everything about Ash is big so you can’t say you’re surprised but the stretch you’re feeling is unlike anything you’ve experienced and you’re immediately craving more.

He pauses to check in with you. “You alright?”

“Mmm hmm,” you exhale, playing with the curls at the back of his neck. You crack, “Lotta things about your personality are just suddenly making a lot of sense right now.”

He giggles and rolls his eyes. “You really making digs at me while I’m inside you?”

“You know I like to keep you humble.”

He bottoms out and you moan together; he leans down, his beard tickling you as he sucks a mark onto your neck. You trace along the seam of his jacket, appreciating the moment to adjust, until you start to get impatient and try rocking yourself against him.

You feel him smile against your skin. “Easy,” he rasps, holding your hips still as he slowly starts to move inside you.

“Oh my god, that was sexy… don’t be sexy, that’s too confusing for me,” you ramble playfully.

He laughs loudly. “‘Don’t be sexy?’ We’re literally having sex.”

“I know but like… it’s us. Don’t you think it’s weird for it to be this hot?”

“No?” He replies with a hint of incredulity. He curses under his breath as he increases his pace a little. “Haven’t you ever thought about this before?”

“Not really?” You think out loud, noting that he almost looks disappointed at your admission. “I mean it’s probably crossed my mind in an abstract sense but not in a ‘that’s something I actively want to happen, that’s something that could happen’ sense.”

Ash hooks one of your legs around his hip and you breathe out a tiny ohmygod at his next thrust that makes him smirk. “Interesting.”

“So I take it you’ve thought about this before?”

“Not in an ‘actively wanting it to happen’ way but more in a ‘that could definitely be fun’ way,” he shrugs. He grinds his hips into you and the friction on your clit causes you to whimper. “Gotta admit I have spent a bit of time wondering what that sound would be like.”

"Godddd why is that hot?" You whine, rolling your hips to match his movements. 

He half-chuckles, half-moans as you move together. "Hate to be the one to break it to you but… there's a possibility you might be attracted to me."

"No, that can't be it," you jokingly dismiss, pulling him down into a heated kiss.

You fuck back against him with greater force and he gasps your name. "Fuck…" He huffs, already sounding spent. "You feel… so fuckin' good around me… Takin’ it so well."

His praise goes straight to your core and you grab at his back, loving the way he feels on top of you but wishing you could feel his skin instead of his coat. Your brain suggests maybe next time but you push the thought aside.

"Never felt so full before," you admit with heavy breath. "God… can’t believe it feels this good. You’re making me feel so good, Ash.”

You wrap both your legs around his waist and the new angle instantly gets an audibly enthusiastic reaction from both of you. The shift allows him to drive into you faster, harder, deeper and Ash can tell from all your tiny whines, heated moans and revelatory sighs of his name that you’re well on your way to getting what you need.

“Love hearing you,” he groans, voice straining as he tries to keep control. “You make my name sound so good, baby.”

Your brain decides that hearing him call you ‘baby’ in this context is somehow the most erotic thing that’s ever happened and you give a long whimper as you slide your hand between your bodies to rub at your clit, chasing the orgasm you can feel sparking deep within. 

You feel him hesitate slightly, as if he’s wondering if he should help you out. “Keep… perfect… just like that,” you murmur, grabbing his ass, pulling him closer to you. “So… so close… oh god, Ash…”

“That’s so fucking hot, oh my god,” he pants, watching you touch yourself while he fucks you. “Working so hard for it, baby… gonna cum for me? Gonna let me feel it? Wanna feel it so bad, baby, wanna feel you cum.”

A strangled cry escapes your throat as your orgasm crests and you begin pulsing around him. You gasp and moan, the waves of pleasure washing over you again and again as he continues snapping his hips into you. You hear a variety of profanities followed by a long groan of your name before Ash’s hips stutter and he cums with a shout.

There’s a few solid beats where it’s clear neither of you know how to proceed, what the immediate afterglow should look like. He’s awkwardly hovering above you, head hanging down, arms slightly quivering as he fights the urge to collapse from exhaustion.

“Well, no reason to get shy now,” you declare, pulling him to lay on top of you, rubbing his back while he catches his breath.

He laughs warmly, allowing himself to settle for a minute before raising up and asking quietly, “Can I kiss you?”

It’s a silly question, considering you’re both still naked from the waist down, but for once, your instinct isn’t to make a joke.

You hold his face in your hands as you pull him in and the kiss you share is representative of the encounter you just shared: sweet, surprisingly erotic and appreciative of each other’s presence.

Smiles decorate both your faces as you break apart. He sits up and reaches for the stack of napkins on the table, handing you a few as he ties off the condom and wraps it in one. You’re almost done cleaning yourself up when you hear him chuckling to himself and look over to see him squinting at the sky. Before you get the chance to ask what he’s laughing at, you jump at the feeling of a stray raindrop landing on your thigh. 

“You’re kidding,” you gasp, taking a look at the sky yourself. “Where’d the fucking moon go?!”

He grins, standing to slip his pants on. “Can’t really be mad that we got distracted and missed the rise of the blood moon - seems like it was probably never visible to us because of these rain clouds.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you grumble, getting dressed so you can help Ash clean up the table. You think for a second and then laugh, “How long until you tell me what the rain symbolizes?”

Ashton giggles, playfully bumping into you as he grabs the blanket to take inside. “It’s not dissimilar from the eclipse, actually. Lots of introspection, mindfulness. Beginnings. Contrasts between light and darkness, the acknowledged and unspoken truths.”

“Soooo… what I’m hearing is we have an excuse for this to happen again,” you flirt as you head for the house.

You feel his eyes lingering on you before he springs into action, quickly catching up and opening the door for you. “Liked it that much, huh?” He teases. “Already ready for more?”

Ignoring the blush you feel spreading through you, you continue towards the kitchen. “I’m just saying, you already insisted I sleep over if the rain started, which it has,” you reason. You set the dishes down and spin around to face him. “And there are worse ways to spend our time.”

He nods, giving exaggerated consideration to your points as he inches closer to you. “Well… who are we to fight against nature?” He smirks, lifting you up onto the kitchen counter.

---------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! I'm no longer in the habit of using a taglist so more than ever, these fics live and die by reblogs! If you enjoyed please consider sharing so it can circulate and be seen by other readers!

[c0rpseductor]

struggling to stay awake but i watched the sarah z video about fanfic as an art form (very good) and then in the related videos saw several from a youtube account that gives fanfic writing tips. i was curious so i watched the one that’s like, “tips for writing fanfic that can’t work in original fiction” and have thots

i guess i kind of feel ambivalent about it bc like. on one hand i agree fic as a medium encourages and can sometimes greatly benefit from a lot of stuff that doesn’t fly in original fiction, like cutting out canon events we’ve already seen or descriptions we should already know. a fic doesn’t have to be a totally standalone work given it already depends heavily on the context of the canon it’s derived from.

on the other hand i kind of struggle to see how some of these tips benefit _any_ form of writing? like “the pace can be very choppy or glacial if you want! pacing doesn’t matter!” feels like poor advice to me if you’re trying to make your fic read well. canon can prop up a lack of exposition but cannot change the way your fic reads as its own work. i think pacing very much still matters, and “good pacing” can be somewhat subjective, but the actual wording of the advice was along the lines of like, pacing straight up doesn’t matter, which i don’t agree with at all. i think a featured comment along these lines (bc the video maker showed some other writers’ opinions that they liked) was essentially like, “you can have really incredibly slow pacing and it be fine if the story is just a relationship study and there’s no plot or themes or meaning.” EVERY STORY HAS FUCKING THEMES AND MEANING IT COMES FREE WITH YOUR FUCKING XBOX. don’t fucking encourage people to be uncritical writers oh my god

i also like. i understand that i have different aims when i write fic than other people. with the longfic i’m working on right now, i want it to retell shadowbringers (hopefully on to endwalker) with my wol and highlight things FFXIV made me feel that were meaningful to me, and i’m choosing to have a slow pace so that readers can both have that experience again through my WoL’s eyes and figure out who the fuck he is without it feeling like a hasty exposition dump. i also personally don’t like how a lot of ffxiv fics in a similar vein read, bc they skip big important canon developments and emotional moments, so i chose to like…not do that. i also know i have at least one buddy (hi faiya) if not a couple buddies who are reading it fandom-blind, so i wanna add descriptions of locations and people. (plus, again, having a biased POV character means every description is Free Characterization, Baby!) i also think having descriptions immerses a reader more even if they reiterate canon, and it can be a helpful convention to establish so that describing new locations and so on doesn’t necessarily feel so, like, jarring. with shorter pieces i skip unimportant stuff but still like having the opportunity to set a scene and work in some inventive prose.

which, like, tooting my own horn i guess. obviously i like how i write or i wouldn’t do it like that. i try to have reasons for everything i do and think about my goals for what i want my writing to evoke and the experience i’m trying to create. however i am increasingly beginning to think the experience i’m trying to create is one that just really doesn’t read like fanfiction. on one hand, i don’t always like how fanfiction reads, so to me that’s good. on the other, though, if i don’t always like how fanfiction reads, idk if i’m the best judge of these kinds of intentional stylistic breaks in fanfiction as opposed to original fiction and how well they work. i don’t like choppy pacing, i don’t like fics that dwell or feel circular vis a vis pacing, i don’t like fics that just leave shit out that would potentially strengthen the story they’re trying to tell (100% bitching about emetwol shb retellings that skip and summarize every cutscene even when it would be a big relationship moment for emet and wol. like come on it’s free development they give it to you), and i’m okay with fics that don’t have much sensory description of established stuff bc i can fill in but they’re that much less engaging for it. some of these pieces of advice strike me less as useful shortcuts in a transformative work and more as shortcuts that actually weaken a transformative work. fic has to exist in conversation with canon, but a fic i think also has to have an existence as its “own story,” if that makes sense.

i know to some degree it depends a lot on the individual fic, too. for a short fic or a oneshot i feel way more like i’d agree and say “yes, by all means, skip the exposition and unnecessary description and get to the part we’re meant to care about, we have limited real estate here, devote it to the details of import!”, like i certainly don’t sit describing the layout of the crystarium room every time i write a ficlet about it. but i’m more reticent to say that about longer pieces where you have more time to explore and recontextualize and reiterate shit that might still be relevant to your work as a whole.

definitely a thing where like. i don’t want to get super egotistical or on my high horse about it bc despite feeling more confident as of late i do know i have a lot of room to grow as a writer and even just in terms of utilizing fic as a medium efficiently. but i wouldn’t be giving these out as blanket pieces of advice, which i felt the video was doing. the only blanket advice i would give out is “read and dissect published works to see how they construct prose and do other technical stuff,” because those are transferable skills and i think knowing how a story is constructed on the page is crucial to making informed decisions about how to take one apart and put it back together. but i’m also the guy who is saying this to you while very much aiming to apply it to unmonetizable age gap gay catboy porn a maximum of 15 people will read so you can take my words with a grain of salt approximately the size of your forearm

[dragynkeep]

Some rewrite ideas that I thought could help keep Salem consistent: She and Ozpin have been in what is essentially a stalemate for the past century. They’re both immortal, and have lifespans upon lifespans to make their moves. Any premature strike on one of their parts could mean they lose. Consequently, they are both highly cautious and slow to act.

Humanity isn’t completely divided, but it’s not unified enough. There’s a constant push and pull between them, yet neither is so satisfied with the current state as to make their final move.

Salem almost has it easier; she doesn’t have to restart every 50-70 years like Ozpin. But she’s a bit more of a glass cannon, what with her weakness to the Silver Eyes. So her bursts of activity are mainly dedicated to culling the SEW, and it’s been largely successful. Silver-eyed children are unlucky, haven’t you heard? Rumored to attract Grimm. Maybe more than one struggling family in a rural village just couldn’t deal with the ostracism from the rest of their neighbors (because eventually they won’t be able to keep going. you can’t hack it on your own in Remnant). That successful doctor from Atlas can give their child a better life. That woman in red from the city, she has silver eyes too (contact lenses); she’ll care for your son because she understands. And in cities, well. People disappear all the time.

That Summer and Maria have lived long enough to become Hunters is impressive, but their careers were both cut short, and Maria was the lucky one of the two.

Ruby coming to Beacon is nothing short of earthshattering. Taiyang and Qrow kept her safe and thriving, but her Hunter aspirations are dangerous. If she ends up unleashing her power by accident, if the wrong people see, then she’s not safe anymore. All it takes is one wrong move. So she goes to Beacon, and Ozpin sees her silver eyes Summer’s eyes Tedrah’s eyes Cobal Indio Laven’s eyes and a dozen others he still remembers by name and her stubborn hope and realizes he can’t be so complacent anymore.

And a year later at the Vytal festival, a student from Haven named Cinder sees her silver eyes and realizes Salem needs to know about this. And then Salem finally stirs, for once and for all.

Of course some of the background information about Salem’s quiet war against the SEW can’t be stated from the beginning, but it doesn’t have to be. Just have some people quietly mention the superstition that silver eyes are a bad omen. Have Ruby mention how she was homeschooled as a kid. How she always wore sunglasses in public; sensitive eyes and all that. Her dad was sooo overprotective, haha!

Honestly I barely need to change anything. All I need to do is actually flat-out state some stuff. I came up with this in like. A half hour. I think I even managed to work in the “simple soul” idea to a good extent. But what do I know? I’m not a writer on RWBY.

honestly this was so good to read & really does show like what you said in that so little is needed to change to actually have some of these storylines make sense. & having some of this background decisions under wraps could very much be crwby's "plan" also but unlike this fantastic ask, we don't even get the bare minimum. people are still scrambling even now to come up with a justification for why salem has done sweet fuck all even at times of high probability that she would've steamrolled the good guys like in the colour war.

i did also love the tidbit of children going missing because it was just so subtly haunting & horrifying, all these silver eyed children have gone missing & there's no accountability to it because that's just the world they're in. love me some horror like that.

[gt-jar]

About your recent post, I first wanna say that I’ve been obsessed with Two Worlds Among the Stars ever since I first discovered it, and even if chapter 8 is a filler episode I’m sure myself and many others will still love it!

I don’t have too many ideas, but something I’d like to see in the next chapter is Noah’s true feelings starting to shine through, even if just barely. Maybe Noah could begin to realize that he can trust John, even if he doesn’t realize that he realized it yet (that probably makes no sense but I’m not sure how else to phrase it lol). It makes sense (to me at least) for it to be a chapter of slow new beginnings. Some of the stuff I mentioned might work well as a focus for chapter 9, so chapter 8 could be leading up to it.

Also, I completely understand the frustrations that come with having no idea what to write for the next part in a series, it can be VERY annoying. I hope you’re able to overcome this though, and good luck on writing the next chapter! I’ll be looking forward to it, even if it takes longer than usual.

Before I get into detail, let me just say that I'm gonna treasure this ask forever. Everytime I read something like this from one of my readers I want to hug that person so bad, because I'm just so thankful.

Like I said in this post, I don't care if my story isn't seen by hundreds of people, literally doesn't matter to me if my story has 20 or 2000 readers. I care about what my readers think of my story (like every writer) and ofc I'd like to know what they think.

So again...

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME THIS!

It's a shame that you sent me this as anon (though very understandable), but just so you know... I wouldn't mind seeing you in my dms :)

I also wanna thanks everybody else who left a comment under my last post!

I didn't reply to any of those yet, because here is what I wanna do...

I'm going to list every idea and leave my two cents and... just ramble a bit? You won't believe how much rambling helps when I'm having trouble to write a chapter.

1. Anon:

When it comes to writing the change in Noah's (and John's) character, I like to sorta... sprinkle in little pieces of those changes. Like Noah secretly yearning for affection in chapter 7.

And I think that's exactly what chapter 8 is missing, because in chapter 9 (and the one after that) there's going to be a major shift in Noah's and John's relationship because... stuff happens and things get revealed :) You're in for some sweet hurt/comfort mixed with some fluff. (Super excited to write those two chapters, but being stuck at the one before that aaaaaaahhhhh)

But this shift needs to feel natural. So like you've said Noah's more vulnerable side needs to shine through, but I just... Dont! Know! How! Because while I want/need to sprinkle in one of those small soft moments, it can't be anything major.

For example: Noah yearning for affection -> John figuring that out right away and just giving it to him -> too rushed, doesn't feel natural, boring

So yes everything you've said is true, I just don't know how to write it :')

2. @da3dm:

Someone wandering in and discovering Noah is still alive.

Veeeeeery unlikely. The people from Noah's village don't care about him. He's just another orphan, it's not like they don't have enough of those already. And even if there are some people who took pity on him in the past, they certainly don't care enough to put their on life in danger. All of them "know" what happens when they cross the river, so no one in their right mind is gonna do that anytime soon.

2. @coffehbeans:

John questioning if he is doing the right thing.

Oooohhh boy, trust me John is questioning all of his life choices that led up to this point. He knows their situation is less than ideal, but what other choice does he have? (-> John's pov in chapter 4). He's already going behinds his chief's back by keeping Noah a secret and not immediately informing him about the situation, he won't dig his hole even deeper by bringing the human back and risking that more humans come to his place (or giant territory in general). He's doing damage control, but mostly he's trying to maintain the little control he's left. And let's forget that he's very much sailing uncharted waters.

John encounters someone that will make him question his decision.

I'm curious, who are you thinking of? Because like I said that someone being a human is off the table and a giant standing up for a human? One of John's tribe, that is hiding from Noah's kind? That doesn't care about humanity at best? Most of them might be against killing humans, but that doesn't mean they wanna mingle.

Introducing a character that actually cares about Noah.

I think I need to question all of my writing decisions, if you think John doesn't care :'D

He may not care about Noah on a personal level yet, but he definitely cares about his well-being, even though Noah doesn't get that (yet).

3. @mabelisthebatman:

Someone stops by to visit John.

Let's just say someone is going to visit John (but not in chapter 8), but the situation is not gonna unfold in the way you described. All I'm gonna say is, there can't be comfort without hurt :)

4. @small-but-oho:

John and Noah avoiding each other as much as possible.

Before I start I wanna say how much I enjoyed following your reading process :3 It's always fun to watch someone read my story "live". Absolutely love seeing a user leave a like on every chapter every few minutes, but it's even better when they reblog it aswell and leave a comment in the tags. Also really loved your insight and acknowledging that they both are overwhelmed and deal with raw emotions right now (would love to talk more btw). I think no one else on tumblr pointed that out yet.

As for your suggestions: That would be soooo in-character for them! Noah... for obvious reason, and John just doesn't know how to handle the situation and doesn't want to make it worse. If Noah wasn't sick this totally would've happened, after their "fight" in chapter 6.

I don't know if you read the 7th chapter, but with Noah being sick and acting so different in comparison to his usual self, John is worried and tries his best to help him, because even though they aren't on good terms John doesn't like to see the kid in pain.

To be clear I DON'T wanna belittle any of your ideas, I loved reading every single one of them! I just wanted to ramble (helps me a lot with getting a feel for my characters again after a long writing pause). Sadly I don't get character related asks very often, so I don't have many opportunities to just ramble/infodump/etc.

So again...

THANK YOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!

Didn't really make much process on chapter 8 though. It's still missing something. But I finally figured out where I'm going to place a specific scene (chapter 8) and I thought of something I want add to chapter 9, so I count this as a win^^

[tadpolesonalgae]

Hi I’m not sure how well this will be received but sjfbdbdbd I have thoughts about CBMTHY from a reader but also writer point of view.

Honestly I can’t help to agree with some people about the pacing — it’s going quite slow and I guess I understand the point of being slow burn but it’s slow on a place where we don’t have any interaction from the two main characters together. It gives me blue balls tbh slskddmb it’s not like I want them to be married by the next chapter but It would be nice to see them interact with each other and it feels like that hasn’t happened in a while. At least not in a substantial way. I think slow burns like that work better in a book formats because you can just keep reading - in fanfics where you have to wait sometimes a month between one chapter and another that can get frustrating.

I hope this is not offensive to you, I’m just trying to put into perspective why people must be feeling so frustrated. Especially because in the horizon is so hard to see a future where the two characters get along, much less become infatuated with each other. When writing I’ve noticed that dropping small crumbs of interaction and keeping people’s hopes up works well to keep everyone at the edge of their seat, therefore interested in the story. Pacing a story is a challenge and I’m not demanding perfection, I nor professional authors have that. It’s just a friendly feedback I guess?

It guts me to see negative asks on your blog especially since your writing is so rich and interesting. And I look forward to my favorite pieces everyday, it’s a joy when you post them! I’m so invested in CBMTHY and will continue looking forward to it. I guess I related to the anon in the sense that i was simply thirsty for more. 10K words wouldn’t be enough. Thank you for sharing your work 💞

giving myself an emoji because I will be coming back - 🥐

‘I guess I understand the point of being slow burn but it’s slow on a place where we don’t have any interaction from the two main characters together’

I’m not sure how relevant this is, but one of the scenes I ended up cutting off from chapter 11 is after Azriel has flown her back up to the House and they have an actual discussion for once but I decided I wanted that to be at the beginning of a chapter so people got to go into it with a fresh mind?

But I do see what you mean about there being so few interactions with Az in the past few parts which I think was something I definitely did wrong this time around :/

‘I hope this is not offensive to you, I’m just trying to put into perspective why people must be feeling so frustrated.’

No, it’s not offensive at all! Honestly you’re being helpful and giving advice without being blunt or unkind about it, so thank you a lot :)

‘I guess I related to the anon in the sense that i was simply thirsty for more. 10K words wouldn’t be enough.’

I suppose longer chapters could be a way to clamp down on writing too many parts that don’t have Az in? They might take longer to write is the only thing I’m slightly concerned about?

Between other fics, requests and then writing chapters that are over 5/6k, I’d be a little worried but honestly that might just be what has to happen? Like it might just be a case of spending more time on it to post semi-regularly?

‘giving myself an emoji because I will be coming back - 🥐’

You’re absolutely welcome to stick around, thank you for suggesting longer chapters and giving helpful feedback on including exchanges between reader and Az so the story doesn’t drag with the pacing, I really appreciate it 🧡💛

[gretchensinister]

authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

In no particular order:

Incarnation: The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, SkekGra/UrGoh, E, 152,469 words. Not just on this list because it’s the newest! I’m really proud of what I was able to accomplish, meeting the challenges posed by alien bodies and the question of how to make characters that are pulled together for supernatural reasons choose each other and fall in love in excess of fate. I loved writing this slow burn, mutual pining journey. It’s about those moments when you realize you want to live more than you want to be good, and that you want to love more than you want to be good—and then realizing that there never had to be a choice between them.

A Draught of Light: Rise of the Guardians, Pitch Black/Sanderson Mansnoozie, M, 200,099 words. Epic Fantasy AU. Don’t worry, I’m staring gobsmacked at that word count, too. I started writing this shortly before completing my master’s degree, and continued it through quitting grad school and therefore drastically changing my goals for my life, a short and panicky time of unemployment, and a year at a rather shitty office job. I think about it a lot, and not only because I have fanart a friend made for me of it hanging on my wall. It’s about truth and knowledge (who creates it, who has access to it), loving someone one has explicitly been told not to love, what kind of power and what kind of reasons might lead someone to stay with an institution that hurt someone they loved, how it feels to leave an institution that has been your whole life, even after it has hurt you, what is valuable beyond the institution, when that institution has vanished, what it feels like to conclude that the only solution to right a fundamental wrong is your own death, what it feels like to be told that to undo a fundamental wrong you must be the one to cause the death of one you love, and still making it turn out all right in the end. I used Choose Not to Warn because I wasn’t sure where the line for graphic violence fell.

The Doors of Perception: Rise of the Guardians, Pitch Black/Sanderson Mansnoozie, M, 43,892 words. Human AU, 1960s to early 2000s. I also wrote this during the semester before I got my master’s degree. I was IN IT in the spring of 2013. It starts with all the Rise of the Guardians characters as hippie/counterculture types in San Francisco in 1967. The Summer of Love is the beginning of something wonderful between Sandy and Kozzy until an ill-fated return home leads to Kozzy’s unaccepting family separating him from Sandy for far too long. It does work out in the end, though. Also the era is one I have a passing research interest in, so I’m not just using pop culture osmosis to write the 60s. I’m not claiming perfection, just that I don’t, for example, make LSD do things it definitely doesn’t do. This was the fic where I learned how to look up historical weather data.

A Perfect Man is Hard to Find: Rise of the Guardians, Pitch Black/Sanderson Mansnoozie, E, 20,266 words. Human AU, 2010s, serial killers. *Evil grin* This one’s pretty sick, babes. I posted this during a trip where someone had flown hundreds of miles to meet me in person for the first time, which seems weird now. I mean, it was done, so what else did I have to do while waiting for her to shower/put on makeup etc.? I guess? Anyway, I think the summary explains it best: Pitch Black, the cannibalistic Boogeyman serial killer, and his partner, Sandy, a serial killer ex-psychologist who Pitch helped escape from police custody, now live a quiet life together in the suburbs. One morning, Pitch encounters a beautiful young man on his morning run, and knows at once he must hunt him, devour him. Sandy is all too glad to help him, and they make a very, very lovely day and night of it. (AKA, murder as an erotic couple bonding activity.)

The Dream Forest: Rise of the Guardians, Pitch Black/Sanderson Mansnoozie, T, 2,838 words. This one I originally posted just to tumblr and then took seven years to move it to Ao3. As you do! Written after getting my master’s degree during a semester of grad school I honestly DO NOT remember. Except for writing this story during a professionalization class that absolutely sucked. An experimental second-person story where the main character makes their way through a dreamlike forest, wondrous and ominous at the same time, catching only fleeting glimpses of the entities that created/inhabit such a space.

[emi-writings]

what are some tropes that make your brain and flood fizz away.

(I’ve noticed almost all writers have at least one.

I don't know if you mean that in a good way, or bad way... so I'll answer for both!

I’ll start off with some of my favorite tropes, and then end with some of my least favorite tropes. And yes, these are all about tntduo fanfics, but they so apply to other things I enjoy.

Loved Tropes

First Kiss – If you’re writing a fanfic that doesn’t have the characters in an established relationship at the beginning… you cannot gloss over the first kiss. If the couple’s first kiss isn’t a moment, you’re doing it wrong. It doesn’t have to be a big, grandiose kiss scene… but it’s gotta at least be a little special.

Slow Burn – Surprise, surprise, I actually really like it when characters take the time to get to know each other and really bond before becoming lovers. I like seeing the moments where characters go from realizing that they actually like the other, to realizing that they’re in love.

Flirting Under Fire – I haven’t had a chance to use this trope (yet) but a battle couple that can flirt during a fight is always a plus! So long as it works for the tone of the scene, of course.

Forbidden Love – This one also is not a surprise at all, but I love Forbidden Love! It’s a great way to add conflict without needing any tropes that make me dislike the romance! It’s not the main leads that are being annoying, it’s whatever is trying to stop them from getting together! This is especially great when one half of the couple helps the other realize there is something wrong with the system and helping them escape it.

Hated Tropes

Will They, Won’t They – I just hate the on again, off again nature of this trope. First, they’re enemies, then they’re friends, then they can’t be together, but now they’re together, then something causes them to split apart, and then they’re together again, etc. It just gets real old, real fast. Especially when the cause of any split ups are because of any… miscommunication.

Miscommunication – Depending on how this one is used, I can have a lot of different feelings about it. But in romance, sometimes it can just very, very quickly get annoying. Especially if it feels contrived. And if it takes a while for it to get cleared up even when it easily could have… yeah, I’m not finishing that fic, I do not care how good it was or how good it will get.

High School aus/College aus/etc. – Technically this counts if you consider that an au is just a bunch of tropes in a trench coat. But I am so, so, so sick of seeing how popular school-based aus are. I don’t care, I won’t read it, I’m sorry. They’re never that interesting. Maybe, maybe if something else is thrown in the mix I’ll consider it (and actually enjoy it sometimes) but I just can’t be bothered otherwise.

The Needlessly Villainizing the Women Trope – I don’t know the name of this trope, but it’s where they is a female character that gets bashed and hated on simply because she could be a threat to the relationship. This doesn’t happen too often in tntduo fanfics, but I have received one comment on my fanfic hating on Sally… who is a lesbian in that fanfic, and someone Wilbur only says nice things about, despite them being betrothed since they were young. So yeah, it does happen. Considering the way the mcyt fandom treats female content creators and their characters… it’s not fun…

[mdhwrites]

My Adventures With Superman Episode 5 Review: You Will Believe a Man Can Be Concerned

Short Thoughts: This episode is the most rushed so far in the series, with a pacing issue of moving slow at the beginning and thus having to cram EVERYTHING into its last five minutes to have the darkest hour it wants. The stuff with Jimmy is too pointed to be funny and only has one real moment of feeling like it pays off, as well as the setup going nowhere like the journalism setup of last episode, and the stuff with Clark and Lois... Well, it’s good, the conclusion of the episode is the conflict their character types should be having and is turning the jokes and growth they’ve had over the past couple episodes into drama but again: Pacing. It all moves so... So very quickly. It frankly reminds me of thoughts I keep having about shows where I love the fluff and the episodic stuff but fear how well the writers can handle angst and plot. This episode shows promise in those things but if they can’t learn to let it breathe... We’ll see.

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I... don’t know how complicated my thoughts are on this episode. I think one of the best ways I can start with this is to mention the description on HBO Max. That while Lois is hunting down a secret in Metropolis, Superman tracks down the stolen tech to find out he’s in the sights of Task Force X.

This... doesn’t mention that Jimmy takes up about a quarter to a third of this episode doing almost nothing. It also name drops Task Force X, something that DOESN’T HAPPEN IN THE EPISODE. How can it? They show up for the pre-title stinger and then don’t show up for like 80% of the episode. Then they fight Supes, show off that Slade has some sick tech and is only going to get stronger, tease the overall plot and then fuck off after a good humanizing moment for their leader.

In like two-three minutes. That’s... Rough. To put it mildly. It’s not even a terrible fight. Not great, kind of lacking character and flavor, but it’s not a bad fight and the resolution is good. That’s the thing that makes talking about this episode rough. The characters are the same, good characters they have been. The animation is still mostly solid. The writing...

Well, that one I go up and down on. I ADORE the comedy of how bad Clark is at hiding who he is. How obvious his strength is once you start looking for it. Clark and Lois’ sequence against the goons is nice and silly and seeing how far Lois has already come from the girl who probably would have wanted the answer for her scoop versus the girl who wants the info because she cares is good.

And... That’s a lot of where my praise ends for the episode. The Steve and Jimmy stuff feels agonizingly drawn out. Jimmy didn’t need a mentor to straight up point shit out to us with. They could have had his three-five minutes in the intro, ended with him trying to remind them about what they were doing, kept showing a clock as a transition and then cut to nine o’ clock and Jimmy all alone at the bus stop before heading out to do this. Instead... They kind of do it like they’re not an animated series.

I’m not really joking here. The emphasis on dialogue pointing out what is going on is more tolerable in books because if you don’t put the words on the page, it can be a bad time for the audience. Of course, there is a breaking point and this goes WAY past that. This is just bad exposition, not helped by the fact that it’s being given by an annoying character we have not spent NEARLY enough time with to even realize his group could have a ‘Steve’. Yes, he’s a part of a trio but they all have their own roles on the paper that do not intersect that much so why should we have assumed their dynamic genuinely was the same?

Worse yet, the only justification for this would have been the stuff about Steve wanting to dunk on Flamebird but that goes nowhere. It’s not part of Jimmy’s motivation to go alone, it has nothing to do with his relationship with Clark or Lois, it’s just... There. Much like how Jimmy seeming like he might get the story because of his friendlier, less confrontational approach went nowhere in the previous episode. There it felt okay because I felt like I was putting my own desires onto the show. This time though? This shit is supposed to be important and it’s not funny and it’s not interesting. And it drags on for TOO. FUCKING. LONG. Cut a minute of Steve and give that to the actual important shit that matters to both plot and character.

Because the whole Task Force X portion? Feels like an extended vision frankly. “Look, we’re here, we’re probably important, you can gleam a couple things from it and PEACE!” It’s better than the visions because we effectively get some real answers and the commander is interesting in keeping to the idea they’re there for humanity but that’s about all the nice things I can say about it. It feels much more like a teaser than the actual resolution of an episode.

And that makes the ending just feel all the worse. Like I said earlier, this conflict between Lois and Clark is befitting for their character types and the friction they’ve had so far but it’s so over the top, so dramatic without entirely earning it or giving it some time to breathe. They both have good points but neither has any interest in listening to the other and so we get the dramatic third act break up...

Which isn’t going to last because saving Jimmy is the next episode and he’ll likely learn the secret then as he yells at the two about being abandoned and left out and keeping secrets, from both of them, and then they’ll be sympatico. And being able to see that coming makes me not that excited for an episode of these characters just being mad at each other. I don’t mind angst, and some angst was always going to happen here, I just wish it didn’t feel... Hollow.

Which frankly comes from the pacing I think. The fact that we’re going to only spend twenty minutes about this angst and that the angst feels in character but not super well written, ESPECIALLY with Jimmy. Frankly, between this episode and last, I’m getting worried about how Jimmy will be written in general. I don’t want him to constantly feel like he’s just taking time away from what the show cares about. I may be a shipper but I want our main supporting member to ACTUALLY SUPPORT. Actually be a main character.

So while there is good stuff here, stuff that makes me wonder if I’m being too harsh just because it decided to make EVERYTHING miserable at the end of the episode... I don’t know. Consider me concerned.

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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[lochrannn]

For the fic writer meme: 1, 8, 12, 32, and 40 ('Throw your hands up at me', if you want a specific idea!).

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Sappy love-y dove-y shit is like the number one requirement. Then I'll sprinkle in some pining and usually a lot of physical contact. I live for that shit, ngl XD

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

This conversation from you ain't alone, so why are you lonely between Diego and Klaus:

“So you’re taking your fake wife on a fake honeymoon beach trip to take some romantic pictures and you have absolutely no ulterior motive, you say?” Klaus asks, sipping on a large mug filled with a very fragrant and spicy smelling tea in Ben’s living room.

Diego’s leaning against the windowsill, arms crossed defensively, while Ben is over by the dining table unpacking his camera equipment and trying to pare down the amount of stuff he’s going to send Diego out with and very pointedly trying to look like he’s not listening. “First off, Lila’s my actual wife, you were literally the witness, Klaus, and second of all, yeah, I have an ulterior motive, I want to help her convince immigration officials that we didn’t just get married so she could get a visa!”

“That’s not what I’m talking about, stop deflecting!” Klaus says in that mild tone of his that always puts Diego on edge.

“Why, what other ulterior motive could I have other than scamming the government?” Diego asks in irritation and then instantly regrets opening that door for Klaus. The slow grin that spreads across his brother’s face makes Diego regret a lot of choices in his life.

“I think you’re in love with your wife, you weirdo!” Klaus says, batting his eyelashes at him and Diego tries not to react, but then thinks that may be exactly the wrong choice, so a little too late he grimaces and says, “Don’t be silly!”

“Oh please, it was written all over your face at the wedding. And so much sexual tension between the two of you, maybe you should fuck and see whether that resolves it,” Klaus offers with a shrug.

“Yeah, no… that didn’t really work…” Diego breathes out and then instantly realizes the horrible mistake he made when both his brothers almost shout, “What?!” at the same time.

“Urgh, you slept with your wife, you pervert?” Klaus squeals in delight, almost falling over on the couch laughing at his own joke.

“She wasn’t my wife then…” Diego shoots back and he just doesn’t know how this keeps happening. Why is he arguing about this with Klaus? He really, really doesn’t want to talk about it, but Klaus just always manages to push his buttons.

“Oh, intriguing! Do tell!” his brother rights himself on the couch and looks at him with big curious eyes.

“Absolutely fucking not!” Diego says grumpily and crosses his arms again, trying to physically make himself shut the fuck up.

I just think it's the best I've done at banter that isn't between Lila and Diego. I don't know that I always get them right either, but I think there a lot of the conversation comes from progressing whatever I want to have happen, but this conversation was sort of just there to be funny, and I really enjoyed writing it.

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

It's got to be The Majestic 12 (2x4). I mean there are many that are absolutely inspiriation in the Diego/Lila department, but Lila sprawled against a topless Diego at the beginning of the ep, them behaving like their already married after one night together, then the slightly tense supsicious conversation at the consulate that isn't so much defused as catapulted into a different kind of tension when they start dancing. OOOOFFFF. And then Lila explicitly facing the dilemma of obaying her mother or helping Diego and just to add to all the delicious intrigue, she goes with her mother's orders (for now). Diego's expression of betrayal and hurt. Also, Diego's hallway fight at the end is really good XD

32. How do you feel about smut?

Horny, you perv.

I'll answer 40 tomorrow because I just have no time right now, sorry XD But please, if anyone wants to send more questions, go right ahead.

And thanks for playing along!