#it doesn't even connect to the tv anymore because it just doesn't fucking feel like it

[inwayovermyhead]

TIL: electronics are like cats, they're both dramatic little divas who will throw hissy fits just because they feel like it

[gremlingottoosilly]

you think ms.konig would try to find a loophole into learning some German like example books or media on tv or does konig forbid her watching or reading anything that’s in his language? there are times where people can pick up a new language just by consuming it in their activities, so i thought that could be a helpful. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

The main problem with learning German as a whole is that Konig forbids it because he wants control. He moved Mrs.Konig out of her country, literally placed her in his house like some sort of trophy, and now exerts control over her life even when he is away. If she knows the language, it would mean she can be independent - get her own job much easier, find some local friends and generally doesn't depend as much on him for everything. He moved them to a small town/village deep in the mountains, it's not even as much of a touristy spot - almost no one here knows English, so Darling feels isolated and lonely. Konig would soon find out that she had learned the language since he had cameras and other means of watching over her...he thinks it's almost cute, she wants to connect to his culture and it's honestly adorable, but he wants for her to kinda stop and just obey him as usual. It's one of the most toxic aspects of this relationship that I honestly can't even try to paint as light - he controls our status as an immigrant and forces us to play by his rules because he is literally the only person in this whole country who you can relay on. If he knows we have broken the rules, especially after a few fights about this exact matter, he is going to be fuming( placing us inside the room, probably chained to the bed without a TV or literally anything to entertain ourselves. He hates doing this, he wants to play this role of happy family for longer, but it's not possible anymore, he has to punish you( maybe he can fuck the language learning from you

[writingdisposal]

Vox is soooo fucking hot dude

Vox as a regular romantic interest is pretty bad already, but as a yandere? He is insufferable. Of course, he will keep an eye on you wherever you go, even before you really meet him. I don't think Vox would use his powers to achieve his goal of pursuing you. It seems more that he would use it as a "last-didge" effort to secure you, but for that to occur Vox would have to be incompetent. He is anything but that.

You will fall for his charisma, his smooth voice that is so addicting to listen to, especially when he compliments you so well every chance he gets. Vox will make sure, whatever you see of him is nothing, but absolute perfection. Any show you watch starring him will be subtly be about how good of a partner he would be. A cook show where Vox creates your favourite meals. Another show talking about famous celebrities' relationships where Vox occasionally sprinkles in a "I don't know about you folks, but I can't imagine doing something like that!" when the relationship has some sort of drama to it.

I also imagine he would force some sort of meeting, assuming there is zero connection he and the other Vees have to you. Maybe he will make some low-life try robbing you and the 'oh-so' charming TV host Hell can't get enough of is there to save you. Maybe he just 'randomly' finds you sleeping in some alleyway, down on your luck, and he graciously offers you a job at his company. Or maybe he does an interview on Hell's population to see what their opinion is on the newest Voxtech.

Either way this man will find a way and have you fall for him. For the first few months he will even act the part of a loving and supportive partner. Over time though, Vox will change.

As usual Vox was monitoring the viewing charts as well as the money generated from the shows. Even though he was focused, he heard the elevator bringing someone up. No need to look, Vox knew who wanted to visit. "Hello babe," he said, still tapping away on the keyboard, "missed me that much, heh?" Giggling you hugged him from behind, "I can't hide anything from you, can I?" "No, you can't," Vox turned to you, kissing up your arm, "Mind helping me out a little here? I'm really tensed up and need some relaxing." You blush, pushing him back a little.

You wanted to tell him no, but he pulled you back with enough force to make you fall on his chair. He kissed your cheek. "Come on sweetheart, I've always been so good to you," Vox reminded you, static echoes scratchng his voice, "You should be more loving, you know." He was right. He was always so sweet to you and its time to repay the kindness. Even though it doesn't feel right, you will give in. You always will until it feels normal.

Once he knows you won't leave anymore, Vox will have outbursts in front of you. And because you are so used to his hot and cold attitude, you will find a weird mix of fear and attractiveness in his screams. Especially outbursts involving Alastor will be scary. Sometimes Vox forgets the position he is in and get rough with you. Of course, in instances like these he will apologise afterwards, but that might be the only times where the picture had so carefully painted crumbles.

If you ever decide to leave, Vox will know and put measurements to prevent it. It will be relatively successful, but once you're gone, Vox uses every available resource to secure you back. He will call everything just regular quarrel between lovers. The only sanctuary you might find is in the Hazbin Hotel, but this will lead to a smear campaign by Vox, so your stay is going to be questioned frequently.

Your chances of getting away from Vox are low and he will make sure, you realise he will forever be the better option in this godforsaken place, so be sweet and go to him willingly before he forces you to go.

[hecateslore]

Hi! I love your writing by the way! Buuut I’ve been crocheting like crazy lately and all I can think about is Johnny encouraging my addiction to buy yarn (I buy yarn and use like a month later so I have a whole part of my closet just for yarn) and he would try to learn to crochet so he can have something to connect with me on but he’s to impatient

I used to crochet!!!! when I moved I donated all my yarn and crocheting tools to my little cousins, I was so sad. I only made like little hearts and flowers but it was devastating. I bet they're not even using it 😑

You walk through yours and Johnnys front door with two heavy bags filled with different colors of yarn. Johnny sat on the living room couch scrolling through the tv channels, wearing a wife-beater (some people call these tank tops? ) and some sweats.

Peering over the sofa, he sees the two full bags on the floor, and you taking your coat off and getting yourself situated. "What's that?" he says as he gets up to make his way to you. Greeting you with a peck on the lips. "Yarn." you cheer, "More?!" Johnny exclaimed.

"They're having a sale, and I ran out of that pretty yellow. So I needed more." you frown. "Why so much" he lifted one of the bag taking it into the living room. "it's my hobby." Johnny let out a sigh, "Sure." he said.

"let me show you what I bought!"

-

"And then I bought two more of the these, because sometimes the tool is too big for the yarn, so it doesn't go through that well." you say while making a small chain into the bright pink acrylic yarn. "you wanna try?" Johnny hesitates, "Is it hard?" you shake your head no.

"I feel like you're lying." you chuckle at his reaction handing him a tool, "pick what color you want." he reaches for the blue yarn and starts to unravel it, you almost yelp at the way he's handling it like rope.

"Okay so first things first you need to start it, so grab the yarn like this, and make a slip knot." you demonstrate holding the yarn between your thumb and middle finger, "I know how to do that, was a boy scout. " he joshed. "For reals?" "no."

"Okay so now that you have a slip know you need to stick the hook into the little loop and make sure its facing away from your hand" you instruct. Johnny nods following your movements.

"Now, you pull the yarn up and over the hook." Johnny only groans, "This is a lot." he whines. "We're barely starting." you huff.

"But it's taking forever." he continues. "You have to know this in order to keep going." you say.

"I'm not doing this anymore."

30 minutes later Johnny started the chain with only four loops in it. He kept pulling the yarn in the wrong direction making him start over and over. While you were already crossing over into the second row, you could hear Johnny mutter curse words quietly to himself.

"Oh fuck this." he threw the tool and yarn. Getting up to go do god knows what.

[parvuls]

okay. so I couldn't very well post all those meta posts and not analyze 'coach', could I?

there is just. so much to unpack here.

bitty's fear of confrontation

(bitty's first mention of coach vs. the coach arc)

could you even imagine bitty yelling at his dad like that in year 1? could you even imagine him explicitly seeking out the confrontation instead of taking the easy way out and making peace with not knowing?

year 4 bitty is sick and tired of feeling ashamed of who he is. that's not where he's at anymore. bitty found a home, and found a family, and came out to them, and found love, and came out with him, and faced every bad thing the world had to say about that, and is now leading a division one hockey team as an out gay man.

bitty learned to overcome his fear of confrontation one tiny step at a time over three long years, and this is the final step. the boss level. bitty is going to face the root of all that and demand an answer, and is going to learn to live with that answer, whatever that may be.

2. coach's Emotions

and that's emotions with a capital E.

the most telling statement coach gives in this whole comic is this one: I don't know what to do with you. and he means that super literally. bitty knows that; suzanne knows that; we know that.

coach spent his entire life with one type of men, and then he had bitty, and he does not know what to do with him. not because he thinks bitty's wrong in some way (although bitty certainly fears that), but because he literally doesn't know how to talk to bitty. in coach's world, coming all this way to watch bitty's game (and, also, routinely watch all of bitty's boyfriend games), is a straightforward way to support bitty. that's the love language between father and son that coach knows. much like: signing his son up to peewee football so he can coach him - so they could share a love for the sport.

coach doesn't know how to express his emotions in words. he really does think that not making a big deal out of bitty's sexuality and just quietly accepting jack into their life is the best way to support him. and honestly? coach probably wants the path of least resistance (much like... someone else we know). he's not exactly comfortable with this whole concept of """gays""" yet, but what good would that conversation be? and he's actually pretty hurt that his son let him find out about this with the rest of the entire fucking world, but what good would that conversation be?

let us flash back and remember that coach, in the midst of the cup party, didn't say a word about bitty coming out on tv before ever talking to them. all he said was "jack played a good game" and "call your mother [you're hurting her]". coach didn't give any indication that bitty hurt his feelings, too - but now it comes out in a burst.

3. plot twist: bitty is his father's son.

('summer with jack' blogpost)

so you thought bitty takes after his mom, huh? haha. NOPE.

so bitty represses his feelings, huh? so bitty would rather solve everyone's problems before admit he's hurting? so bitty would do anything to avoid confrontation? so bitty would escape tough conversations even when they're so important and hurting the people he loves ('hi honey', anyone?)?

yeah. so. the bittle men.

bitty has been in pain for, like, coming up to a decade now, because he really does think that his father considers the way he is as 'messed up'. and coach has been struggling to connect with his only child for about ~22 years now, and actually in pain for about 5-6 months, because his son apparently thinks his parents are on the same level of importance as every other living soul on the planet.

and they... choose to acknowledge this only when it literally explodes out of them.

how could coach know the right way to support bitty if bitty never told him? he couldn't. how could bitty know his father loves him as he is if coach never told him? he couldn't. it's like? words are? important? listen, when jack zimmermann tells you you need to talk to your daddy about your issues, something must be truly fucked up.

4. a hopeful future

so that's the bottom line. arguably four years of growth coming to fruition. bitty willingly confronted his dad; coach said the word 'boyfriend' and told bitty he's good; they parted ways knowing the next time they're going to see each other isn't in vaguely 7-8 months again. it's not just making nice with each other: they both took actions to communicate. coach using the word boyfriend is the representation of his willingness to learn and grow for bitty.

why do you think bitty nailed that check in the finale? because he can finally face the memory of that symbolically traumatic peewee game, and all that comes with it, without having to also wonder if his father is ashamed of him. he is now ready to (symbolically and uhhh kind of literally) take on the face of the hatred and homophobia that plagued him his whole life without holding himself back.

[kimwexlers-brownhair]

Oh back to Yellowsuccess! I think after the plane crash Logan would become obsessive trying to arrange a rescue until enough time passed for him to "cut his losses" and shut down, and things would get even nastier between him and Kendall because of how it seems that he's brushing off the disappearance of his supposed favorite child like it's nothing and Kendall takes out his own feelings of guilt for being a shitty brother onto him. He's also the first to recognize that Shiv is probably dead while Roman is the last, coming up with elaborate scenarios in his head for what she might be doing and maybe for a while believing he's got some kind of psychic connection with her. And then of course things gets Very weird when it turns out she's been alive after all.

Logan is not an idealist. He never claimed to be.

Look, life's not a walk in the fucking park. It's a rollercoaster that goes off the rails onto the crowd below. If you’re lucky, you scramble over the crushed bodies beneath you out of the wrecked train, bleeding all over the cotton candy squeezed in a dead fist. It's a shitstorm.

Terrible things happen. People die.

You can't make it to the soccer match that gets your daughter's team into Nationals. There have been too many whispers about cruises lately, so you need to be at that board meeting. To make up for it, you hire a few nonunion mechanics to spruce up one of your recently decommissioned private planes so your daughter and her teammates can fly to Seattle in a little luxury. The thing's no hunk of junk, just a little smaller and more delicate than the top of the line, newest models. It's not like they're flying to fucking Hong Kong. Compared to the far flung cities Logan regularly flies to, a quick trip over Canada from New York to Seattle is a mere hop, skip, and a jump. It'll be fine.

But no, actually, because the fucking plane crashes somewhere in the Canadian rockies.

Terrible things happen. People die.

But Siobhan --

Siobhan's not People. Siobhan is his.

It is nearly four in the afternoon. Logan skims over another damn contract about some obnoxious port problem off the coast of Brazil. ATN drones on in the background about Dubya's daring new Medicare cuts. Outside the glass doors he suddenly hears hurried feet, rushed whispers. He glances up and a PA is darting here, another darting there, and here comes Gerri looking pale as if she's about to lose her lunch. Frank and Karl follow, looking about the same. The new press girl Karolina trails them, speaking rapidly into her phone.

"What," he barks as they hussle in. God, don't tell him there's another NRPI situation he needs to sign away discreetly while deliberatey avoiding the written details. On top of this fucking Brazil thing --

But no, Gerri's pallor, Frank's stony expression --

"Logan," Gerri's voice is weaker than he's ever heard it, but as always she's keeping it together. "Logan, it's Shiv."

It doesn't occur to him. Not yet. But Gerri's face.

"What about her?"

Her tongue darts over her lips quickly and he's never seen her like this.

"The plane" --

Karolina cuts in, shifting her phone away from her mouth. "It's leaked. I've given Cyd the go-ahead so ATN can announce it first."

Gerri closes her eyes.

Fear, fear Logan is mostly able to keep at bay, rushes in like a flood from the creek Rose drowned herself in --

"Someone fucking tell me right now or you're all fired!"

Before they answer, from the TV comes, "We're getting word now that a private plane carrying a high school girls' soccer team to Nationals in Seattle has lost contact with airport authorities after being overtaken by a storm surge over the Canadian Rockies. It's early hours yet, but authorities fear the plane went down --"

Water, rushing water all up and down inside him, plummeting.

Nothing's quite real anymore.

Rose....

But Siobhan is not Rose. Siobhan is a scrappy fighter like him, a survivor. She has Ewan's annoying habit of disagreeing with him. She has her mother's acid tongue, his mother's grit. She has none of Rose's vulnerability. They don't even look that much alike outside of the coloring --well, okay, that's not strictly true, they look a little bit alike, okay, now that Logan thinks about it, they look a lot alike -- but they're not the same.

No. Shiv's tough. Shiv's tough. She's a survivor. She's his whip-smart Pinky with the wicked smile, his little hell-raiser confidant. His girl.

Logan doesn't believe in any of that woo wee woo, cosmic bullshit about feeling whether someone close to you is alive or not, but...Logan would know.

Shiv is his blood, his self. Add Shiv and her brothers up and they equal Logan. Ken, Rome, and yes, Connor -- sometimes they make up the parts Logan loathes about himself. But not Shiv.

So he would know if she was -- he would feel it, no matter how much he disavows that spiritual shit.

He doesn't feel it, not now. He didn't feel this coming at all. Shiv is alive. Shiv is alive.

Shiv is alive, so he has to act, now.

"Call DC," he says to no one in particular and so that means everyone. "Tell Cheney we need a search party. Top of the line military OP types, no bleeding heart volunteer morons. If he flinches, tell him we've been sitting on that story about the Chump-in-Chief falling off the wagon in Key West. Tell Laird to pucker up and suck off whatever Canadian officials we need to get full access beyond the border. Who's overseeing this? Get me on the line with them, now."

This is different from Rose because he is in control now. Total control.

Evening. The door opens and Roman is there in the study. His eyes are more haunted and frightened than Ken can ever remember them being, and Rome often wore that look in his childhood.

They embrace.

"Like, what the fuck, man? What the fuck," Roman asks into his shoulder.

Ken gives him a squeeze. "It's going to be okay, Rome. Shiv's too much of a bitch to go down that way."

Roman hiccups a laugh. "Yeah, she probably pushed the pilots out of the way and landed the thing herself. She's going to get those poor bastards fired."

They don't separate until Connor arrives. He wraps them both in his arms.

"Hey, guys. Whatever happens, it will be okay."

Both secretly resent him saying that, since it implies something might happen.

The door opens and here comes their father. He whispers a few words in Gerri's direction and for once shuts her and the rest out to address them.

Sill, when he speaks, his voice is as impersonal as the one he uses when trying to boost morale amongst hired underlings. Almost light, airy.

The only difference is his eyes. They're glassy. Unfocused. He doesn't meet any of their gazes.

He claps, starts. "Boys, uh, glad you're here. Glad you're here. Thank you for coming. Uh, it's all good. All good. We've got search parties setting off now. And we're getting word they've picked up a signal from the plane's transmittor. So it won't take long now."

He hasn't once said even her name.

Still, not just for Logan, but for Roman, Kendall says, "Yeah. Yeah. Of course. It's, like, impossible for a plane to completely go missing these days. They'll find the signal and pick them up."

"Right." The briefest of nods from his father, a rare sign of acknowledgement, thanks. He takes in a breath and finally brings her up. "Your sister's tough, now. She's tough. She's going to be just fine. Isn't she, Connor?"

Connor's sitting on the back of the sofa, and his face is grim. Still he nods. "Sure, Pa. Sure."

Roman's too much in shock to notice what they're doing. It's for him. With Shiv gone, Roman is the baby. It's a show for him.

The youngest son says nothing, just gives a weak smile behind the fingers covering his face. His shoulders are hunched upward like a dog mincing away from the whip.

"Uh-huh. Okay." Logan's eyes wander over the room. If they didn't know him, they'd think he was a confused old man who doesn't quite remember where he is. But Dad's not old, they all tell themselves. He's not. And he knows what he's doing. He's just a little...unsettled. "Thank you, boys. Thank you."

"Uh, dad," Kendall clears his throat. "Is there...is there anything I - we can do right now? Like, does the search party need volunteers?"

"Huh? Oh, no, son. We've got top of the line -- it's taken care of. "

"Okay. How about, how about Mom? Does - she knows, right? Or --"

"Ah? Oh, your mother. Uh, yes, I'm sure she knows by now. Someone must have...I mean, if you want to call her..."

"Sure, dad. Sure. I can do that."

Logan's gaze finally rests on Kendall, and there's true warmth there. "Thank you, Kenny. Okay, boys, I'll keep you posted." Then, without another word or glance, he leaves the boys behind him, their haunted eyes on his retreating back.

It's about five in the morning when Logan's bedside phone starts ringing. He's only been in bed for three hours, and been asleep for just about one. He'd just been dreaming of a campfire, and girls were laughing. Shiv's face is covered in soot but she's smiling, eyes sparkling as she knocks shoulders with one of her teammates --

However, he's awake instantly and answers. "What? Siobhan?"

Gerri. Her voice is very quiet, which means there's bad news.

Logan listens.

His veins are on fire. He's sitting on the edge of the bed and the darkness of the room turns red. "What? How? How can they lose the fucking signal? Those boxes are supposed to be goddamn indestructible, aren't they?...I don't fucking care that they're doing their best, Gerri, I need them to...well, don't they fucking know by now where the signal was coming from before it went away? Didn't they have jets going there?...oh, don't give me that garbage about the storm, I fucking know about the storm, that's how the plane -- interference? Fucking...what the fuck good are those fucking boxes if they can't give you the correct location through a fucking storm? Don't give me any shit about interference, Gerri!"

He listens a few moments more, breath chugging out of his nostrils like a bull ready to charge. "Well, you tell Cheney and the air force that I don't give a fuck. Tell them to keep pushing. This isn't some run of the mill commercial flight with some hodunk assholes from Iowa flying to Florida for vacation, this is my daughter. In fact, there are a lot of fucking important daughters on that plane. Tell that reptile that if he wants his braindead idiot reelected, I better not hear one fucking word about the operation slowing down. Fucking got that, Ger?"

He slams the phone down. His nerves are open and raw, and the darkness is too close and Shiv is out there, she's out there and the signal is gone.

From below, Richard, giving the morning's instructions to staff, hears a roar and the phone crash against Logan's bedroom wall.

Eleven-and-a-half months later, Kendall has to see it on the news like everyone else.

He doesn't give Richard any time to warn Logan before he bursts into his father's home office. His father is not at his desk but sitting on the couch holding a scotch, staring at nothing.

"What the fuck, Dad? What is this? You're fucking calling off the search?"

His father doesn't move, doesn't look at him. "It's been almost a year, Kendall." His voice is a thousand years old.

"So? That's it? We're done? You're not gonna fucking..."

"Not gonna fucking what, Kendall?" At last his father turns to face him, and his glazed eyes are even older than his voice. "We've done everything. Searched everywhere in that damn wilderness." His eyes are on the amber liquid in his glass. "Nothing."

"W-well," Ken's stammer is back. "We-we-we can"--

"Kendall," his voice is sharp, commanding. "It's done. There's no going back. Your sister..." Kendall must be rocking on his feet, because it looks like his father is swaying. "Your sister is gone." His voice cracks at gone.

But Kendall won't hear it. "Come on. Come on, Dad. It's not like you to give up like that. We"--

"The shareholders aren't going to want anymore money going to a search party that isn't finding anything."

"So that's what it all comes down to? Fucking money? Dad? Again? That's all that matters to you, now even?"

He sees the storm cloud gathering in his father's face. "We can't keep throwing resources" --

"Throwing resources? That's what you call funding the search party to find your fucking daughter? Your alleged favorite?"

"Don't fucking push me, son."

"No, this is -- wait." Ken's eyes cast about the room. "What...where?" He cranes his head all around, checking every end table, every surface. "Dad, where..." his eyes focus back on his father. "Dad, where are her pictures?"

Logan says nothing, stares into nothing, his face saying nothing. The only horror is in his wide glazed eyes.

Kendall points to the hutch against the wall. "The picture of her and Rome as kids? Her yearbook picture on your desk? The team on the wall? Where...where the fuck are they, Dad? Where did you put them?"

Logan's voice is as low as it is ever capable of being. "They're in her room. Which is locked."

Ken is too numb for a second, but then the pain and anger burst out. "In her room? Locked away? Like she never even fucking existed? Jesus fucking Christ, Dad"--

Logan is all at once on his feet, the drink slammed down on the coffee table. "And what the fuck have you been doing, Kendall? Hm? What have you been doing to find your sister? All this time, playing with your dick in your overpriced dorm room at that Ivy League dump instead of joining the search party?"

Kendall doesn't know whether to laugh or scream. "You told me not to volunteer, Dad. You told me not to interrupt my education. You said I wouldn't know what I was doing and I'd only get in the way"--

Logan's red face is inches in front of his. "Oh, you needed my permission, hm? My permission to go out and find your baby sister?"

"That's not fair" --

"GO ON. FUCK OFF. Your sister is gone, Kendall, and no amount of mewling about her pictures is going to bring her back. So, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND STOP WASTING ANY MORE OF MY GODDAMN TIME."

Logan turns away and marches over to his desk. His back is to Kendall, but Ken sees his arm go up over his face. Blocking everything out.

A stab of love. "Dad, I" --

"Go on, Kendall. Go on. Go and see to your brother. I can't right now. I need...I need some time."

Roman's sitting on the stairs when Kendall comes out. He's been home since everything started, "for Dad", he says. As if Logan has noticed at all. He's insisted throughout that Kendall stay at Harvard, but he's never given a serious shit about what Roman does.

"Is...is it true? He's called off the search party?"

"Yeah, Rome. Yeah, it's true."

"But why?" His voice breaks. He's trembling. "Why would he do that?"

Ken feels empty, like a clockwork man. He parrots his father. "It's been close to a year, Roman."

"So?" Roman is on his feet, arms wrapped around his slim body. He's been losing more and more weight recently. "That doesn't mean anything. If...if they're close to water, if there's game, they can still be..."

"Roman." Kendall closes his eyes, breathes. "Roman, she's gone."

A jolt shakes Roman's body. "Oh, fuck you, Kendall. You don't know that."

"Rome" --

"You don't know that. Anything could have happened!"

"We would have heard by now."

"Not necessarily! There's a lot of fucking wilderness out there."

"Right, so the chances of them making it this long"--

He stops short as Roman suddenly shoves him hard in the chest.

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up, man! You don't know shit!"

"Hey, hey, Roman" --

"No! Fuck you! What, they teach you about surviving in the woods in your fucking Harvard business classes?" Another shove. "You're just fucking useless."

Kendall can't take it and he spits back. "Oh, yeah? Well, at least I'm not delusional."

"I'm not delusional."

"Yes, you are. This whole time you've never even considered that she might be" --

"Because"-- Roman cuts himself off and turns away, hands on the back of his head.

Kendall frowns. "Because what, Rome?" His shoulders slump. "Not because of your dreams. Bro, please don't tell me that."

Rome's arms are crossed again, still turned away from his brother. "Fine, I won't," he mumbles.

"They're just dreams, Roman," Kendall says for about the millionth time.

They started soon after the plane went missing. Shiv almost burning up on the crashed plane, but Roman tore off the seat belt so she could escape. Shiv happily splashing her friends in a lake they just discovered. A creepy cabin in the woods. A dark-haired girl wailing over a frozen body as the first snows fell.

Roman would never meet Ken's eyes when telling him, usually as they sat on his bed in the evening. He'd stare at his bedspread and say, "I don't know, they just feel really...real. Like I'm actually in front of her. Sometimes she sees me and gets really shocked but we..talk and stuff."

Ken never said much in reply.

He didn't want to say he'd been having the same dreams.

And now, he just won't put up with it. "You don't have some kind of psychic connection with her, okay? Like, you're not even twins, you're Irish twins." Born barely a year apart. Logan liked to throw the term around because he knew it bothered their old-English mother who deep down carried an ancient bigotry against the Irish like the rest of her family.

Roman finally faces him. "Yeah, I fucking know that, okay? But they feel more like visions than dreams"--

Kendall now shoves him hard, because he just had a flash of his own dream from last night, of Shiv stumbling in the snow and sniffling. She looked so relieved when she saw Kendall standing there in the cold, ready to help her up.

Another shove, and Roman whimpers. "You're fucking delusional, Roman. She's gone. She's dead, all right? She's fucking dead."

He doesn't wait to take in his brother's tears. He storms out of the house, pushing past Richard.

Roman collapses on the steps.

Logan can hear his youngest boy's sobs through the closed door. He's relieved. They're covering the choking sounds he himself is making. He's slouched over the window seat, clutching the curtains.

He can't stop it now, tears cloud everything.

Just last night he was sitting by Siobhan on the bank of that frozen lake again. She was wrapped up in that patchwork coat made out of bear and deer skins. He could see scars on her face. That wolf nightmare was true. His arm was around her, and he was telling her stories about how he and Ewan used to ice fish.

A little over nine months later, the call comes. Crash site found.

Survivors found.

[donnerpartyofone]

At one point when I was trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me, I saw a psychologist who had a holistic angle that I liked the sound of. She ran this crazy battery of blood tests, and told me that I had the highest copper levels she'd ever seen. She explained to me that the inability to properly metabolize copper is connected to depression and anxiety, and suddenly things started to make sense to me.

I do not have it as bad as I might, which would mean Wilson's disease, which has been historically mistaken for schizophrenia. But it did seem to help explain my lifelong, severe depression and anxiety. And it also had some kind of satisfyingly poetic resonance vis-a-vis my problems with femininity. Copper has this Venusian association, and is also therefore associated with Taurus, which I happen to be, and I always felt burdened by this ultra-feminine assignment. I have certainly always felt like a woman but I never felt like I was permitted to enter the feminine world. My mother seemed to kind of hate me right out of the gate for some obscure personal reason (and/or because I'm crazy). I had a much harder time getting along with girls than with boys. My main interests were all considered traditionally masculine. As a teenager, I could never figure out any of the feminine beauty or seduction rituals, and I didn't have the kind of friends who would teach me them. I rarely have a period if I don't take a pill about it, I don't have problems with PMS, and I have absolutely no maternal feelings whatsoever, so I cannot achieve community with my fellow women through those items. As a straight female, I have always felt like a fucking alien.

^And because of all that, it made some kind of sense to me that my mind is being poisoned by an excess of copper--the Venus metal--which my body doesn't know what to do with. Like of course it is. Duh, even. Unfortunately this knowledge didn't really lead to a breakthrough. The doctor who figured it out prescribed this giant menu of nutritional supplements I was supposed to take, including a boner pill-sounding compound called Enhancer Adult-1, which is usually used by Alzheimer's patients to reduce heavy metal-related inflammation in the brain (if I'm even remembering that right). I don't remember how well this all worked, since I had an extremely stressful job at the time, and I also couldn't keep up with the extremely expensive and extensive blood tests, and also taking that many supplements at once made me sick. I have never been so directly aware of the fact that nutrition is really best taken in food, not in pill form.

I guess I'm thinking about all this for a confluence of random reasons. One is that I have to have filtered water to avoid taking on extra copper that way, and in my experience home water filters are often slow and unpredictable and I often hit a point in the day where I'm like, oh well, I guess I'm not allowed to drink anymore water. Not like it's the basis of all life or anything. Oh well. Another thing I was just thinking about, while we're packing up to move and throwing things out, is how incredibly susceptible to supplement hype I am, even though I've had bad experiences because of it. I saw some ad on TV the other day, it was on mute and I was trying to guess what it was for; it just showed a woman of a certain age doing a variety of unrelated, pleasurable activities. Finally the product came up and, as far as I could tell, it was a daily pill for your entire recommended fruit intake, and a daily pill for your entire recommended vegetable intake. I thought, God that's so dystopian. Isn't that a trope in dystopian sci-fi, where future people get all their meals from capsules? Is that in "In the Year 2525"? I know this is a thing, I must be able to think of examples. And finally I realized that what I was really remembering was SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS, a movie I find so fascinating that I've seen it many times WITHOUT the classic MST3K commentary.

But this just makes me think, maybe I need more Martian energy. Fuck off with this poisonous Venusian crap that's giving me depression and andrenal dysfunction and chronic fatigue and everything. Maybe I got that iron deficiency. Maybe I need to move to the fucking planet of Mars.

[avadaniels]

yj thoughts mostly about the antler queen 😒

maaan..... this show got so much cheaper this season. cause they originally planned for lottie to be the antler queen (the writers literally called it the oracle, which is still lottie even if nat is the leader) but after the show blew up and the queen became such a Big Deal they decided to change it just to surprise people. which. i don't like lmao. it was a cool dimension to lottie that she was so resistant to leadership, and that would've been really interesting with her becoming antler queen, accepting the mantle but treating it with such grave seriousness. but instead they just uno reversed it

lottie saying she can't feel the wilderness anymore but you'd think she felt it when she let shauna beat her up, and also when javi died and she got healed. if she can't feel the wilderness anymore, and assuming she won't really feel it for the rest of the 19 months, then the entiiiire thread of adult lottie feeling the wilderness again and becoming convinced it wants a sacrifice makes NO SENSE. her connection to the wilderness had literally nothing to do with the sacrifice ritual (unless her connection comes back and it becomes an important part of the sacrifices, but it really seems like all that will be up to nat from now on). lottie started the spilling blood thing but at no point has teen lottie felt the wilderness asking them to make a full sacrifice like she is proposing in the adults' storyline, and if she lost connection to the wilderness then teen lottie never will, and adult lottie's sacrifice plan is coming out of literally nowhere.

plus adult van's reaction to seeing lottie again like. she was so affected and it made sense because lottie was their leader! but now they are going to shift onus of the wilderness onto natalie, and van didn't react at all to seeing nat again. i feel like there's hardly any narrative support in the adults' storyline for nat being the antler queen. like, was there any scenes or lines that alluded to this? other than nat's dream where she is the antler queen because obviously.

in light of the finale, so much of season 2 doesn't make sense anymore... like when lottie is talking about the bees killing each other and nat says "i see why you like them". but lottie was literally the most removed from the first attempt at killing and never wanted it to happen?? nat was much more involved. so what the fuck is that line supposed to mean

and why did lottie have a mental breakdown when they got rescued? it makes sense if she was very in tune with the wilderness, and had gotten used to its power and being the leader of the group. and then returning to regular society feels wrong for her. but if she couldn't even feel the wilderness for the rest of the 19 months?? and she's just a follower with no more visions??? then why would it be so jarring for her?

the first season was just so clean and purely good tv but now it's more sensational and shock value i think. it's cool to watch but doesn't have the gravitas of season 1. and i really wish there was more psychological horror

ig it depends on what lottie's role becomes going forward in the teen's timeline but i feel like switching the antler queen messes with her character so much. is there any logical/narrative explanation for this someone pls explain

[yifftwiceplz]

do one every ten lines :)

🤝 for a headcanon about a connection with one of the receiver's mutual

big fan of dave (yifftwiceplz) and dave (dj-shitslot) basically looking in a mirror at each other at all times, younger self in awe of "older" self (its just that dj is a guardian / has more responsibility) and older self looking back at younger self fondly. thats the good shit. they dont make shit like that anymore but we do like you pass your 13 year old self on the street and your gut reaction is to light up and say oh my god i love you and your 13 year old self is like holy shit, the parts of myself i always wanted to shine through are right there plain as day, we made it

🌇 for a headcanon about morning- or evening rituals

dave wakes up in the afternoon and mostly just lounges around for a few hours. due to his audhd and dysfunction he cant do Anything in any day unless 1. it was preplanned a week in advance 2. he has his obligatory four hour Do Fuck All time. where mainly he smokes weed and listens to music loud enough you can hear it across the house (even though he's wearing headphones). and then once he feels like a person he'll have breakfast, shower, brush his teeth etc and focus on work

😡 for a headcanon about something that makes them angry

it's so hard to make dave angry. maybe it was easier in sburb but he's genuinely a very happy guy. i specifically decided to RP him after i saw that smile on daves face on the lilypad i thought. my guy can heal now. so mostly any time he gets mad it's probably just that he's overstimulated. which is nebulous and random and hard to predict and he tries to grit his teeth and not show it until he snaps, which isn't ideal but he hates looking sensitive or asking someone to back off him in terms of actual real true anger - i dont think he feels it. maybe for a brief moment if someones attacking his friends - only a moment because immediately following that he's got his body and sword between them

🚗 for a transportation-themed headcanon

this bitch cant drive. bro never drove; they lived at the top floor apartment in a walkable neighbourhood what good would a car do yknow? bro had the hoverboard for any long distance trips actually it would be so moe of him to start skating again maybe i should do that. but anyway mostly he walks everywhere he goes. he FREQUENTLY forgets he can fly because thats like... a super power to him. to be used during a fight. but a long fly doesnt work as well as a long walk to clear your head if you have attention issues and mildly dissociate. hed end up in tennessee

hc + 🚬 for a headcanon about a bad habit

oh boy definitely the drinking is his worst habit. it's well-managed but sometimes gets out of hand which is HARD to recognize because dave does not typo when he's drunk. he says roxy is either weak or faking it. striders in general are high dexterity builds so it doesn't matter if his eyes work or if he's coherent - them fingers are gonna find the keys. but he's also a fun drunk! he and roxy share that trait where you get a little booze in them and it's a little easier for them to laugh and open up and be confident in themselves so dave is really good at playing off being totally wasted with being totally charming. and it leads to people letting him drink more than he should quite frequently. luckily karkat isn't as fond of drinking as he is and has a keen eye for when dave is too far gone

hc + 🎥 for a film/tv-themed headcanon

dave is very passionate about film/tv even with his limited "real" education on it, dude just has an eye for it. good editing / camerawork tickles him to death like in a reality show where the interviewee is oblivious to something and there's a slow camera zoom in... got him seal-clapping and kicking his legs in glee part of the reason he's always so busy and tired (which is hard to see because he's always online and blogging casually - that's just part of his process and he just responds to a couple things at a time) is he's such a perfectionist with his own videos. he will not hire an editor. no one understands his vision.

[toriowlfluff]

Hey, if you dont wanna be in the public eye, maybe dont make g/t related content of REAL people?? Fictional characters are fine but dude cmon its common sense dont do that with real people, they WILL stumble across that

Omg I'm excited! This is the first time someone tells me not to do things I enjoy!

No but on a more serious note, I did stop creating content of the actual people a little while ago. (For ex. Beeduo irl)

And your opinion is valid I guess, but the fact that you think that the little Minecraft block characters are "REAL" then I don't know what to say man-

The only way I can describe it best for people who have an ounce of respect to listen is that I see it like a movie or TV show. The actors themselves play fictional characters. There's fiction of those characters outside of the conventional popular media (fanart, fanfiction, AUs ect.)

Would I be interested in fiction involving the actors of those characters?? No. Because it's the roles they play that intrigue me. Of course there's real people behind those fictional roles or, in this case, little Minecraft men, but those two things aren't connected at all in my brain.

The character Grian (the irl guy) plays is story driven, has lore (even tho he doesn't want to engage in it as much haha), has his own exaggerated quirks, has his funky gimmicks, has fucking wings in literally everyone's head cannon haha ect.

He's playing a character. A little Minecraft based character.

(The moon in season 8 of Hermitcraft didn't actually collide with our real earth-)

I'm not creating fiction of irl people. Nor am I trying to offend anyone by sharing the stuff I enjoy creating with the few others who have the same interests as me.

The previous post was about people who might NOT be interested in my content and who might be weirded out by the idea of G/t in general. I wanted to tell my lovely followers that I don't really like being shared outside the G/t community. And I think that's a reasonable boundary to have, don't you think?

It had nothing to do with "REAL" people in fiction. Because I simply don't do that anymore.

And if the irl peeps stumble upon my stupid little art blog with my stupid little small and big versions of their Minecraft characters then so be it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If they don't like it, they can move on. And that goes to you as well, Anon, if you're unhappy with the content you see on your feed (or my blog I guess) you have every right to curate it FOR YOURSELF. No hard feelings at all because it's just not everyone's cup of tea sometimes and that's ok.

[like-sands-of-time]

Ok but the reason shows or movies like the facts of life, boy meets world, dead poets society, etc. All resonated with tweens so much is because they talked about real, serious issues, and didn't talk down to us, the audience, the kids.

Likewise, the reason shows "aren't the same these days" and feel.. empty or without the same cultural impact, is because they aren't actually addressing the same problem kids face no matter what decade we're in. They think all kids have a closet packed with brand clothing, shiny toys and completely personalized rooms with three different wall paints and stairs in their room. They think a lower class kid still has the latest phone and trendy clothes, but just has a single mom who works. Kids complain which they always do, but they are told their complaints are valid instead of proving to them how they're wrong. They've lost touch.

I can't express enough how much the children of today and tomorrow need a show that is modern and inclusive, tween and teen friendly, and serious. A sit com should be serious issues with humor to fall back on. Not empty jokes with five minutes of a "lesson" to be learned. Give the characters happy endings, fine, but show them real repercussions for their actions. Telling ten years olds they can behave like spoiled kids and be validated by their parents is only causing ten year old kids to feel they can behave that way. Hmmm I wonder what the connection could be

We need a show(s) with kids growing up and figuring themselves out in the modern age, but realistically I beg of you. Disney shows are doing nobody any favors. Show kids of darker skin tones as important characters, not just stereotypes. Show kids exploring romantic identities in more than the traditional way and make !! It !! Clear !!! No more subtext. If you can't say that a boy is blushing over going on a date to the mall with another boy then don't fucking bother. "Queerbaiting" is out. Queerness being a NORMAL thing in tv, nobody making it a big deal, is the only way it will become a normal thing in our own society. So that girl likes girls. Is she a decent person? What's her character like? Etc.

Show real issues. Show the kids working through them and understanding them, even applying them to conveniently related situations. Show them getting into trouble and having adults they can rely on to be serious and loving, not indulgent and borderline negligent.

If there must be relationships, listen to the audience! Chandler and Monica worked for a reason. But also, sometimes the Cory and Topanga, Ross and Rachel, storyline isn't the most important. Yes they're the main characters in their story, but in a show about a group, they're only two people. The Shawn and Angela, Chandler and Monica stories worked even though the writers didn't care as much about them, cough shangela cough. And sometimes you don't need a comic relief character you dump scene fillers on. A character everyone just bullies or calls/thinks them dumb. It's not necessary. They can have meaningful plots too if you actually put in the work and keep all your charts organized

The point of all of this is, if it ever reaches someone who writes for tv, those shows impacted us so much as 10, 11, 12 year olds and we didn't even realize. There's an opening for meaningful, daring, unique and "ahead of it's time" tv. because that's what it'll be the whole time. People will drag their feet and maybe the ratings or social media reviews will be on both ends of the spectrum but it's worth it when we think about how much the characters affect us and our own dreams for the future. I don't need high school or middle school stories anymore, but that doesn't mean kids don't.

[shiiaaathai]

idk i just have a few things to say about bad buddy

Okay but like.... I loved bad buddy's ending? I was so scared that it would end with them just hiding from the world... I felt like that would be such a return to the past after everything they went through.

And in any other series I'd find it bittersweet that one of them is out of the country and all the lying would piss me off. But in this case it makes so much sense.

On one hand I feel like saying "fuck the parents, just date, they have nothing to do with you". But on the other hand I can completely understand why they decided to lie and wait for a better opportunity. It's actually the perfect plan.

Because think about it. Their parents were already slowly questioning themselves and their decisions. Pat's dad was clearly feeling bad over the whole scholarship thing AS HE SHOULD. And Pran's mom was already questioning if making her son miserable and compete throughout all his life was the right choice. You can see their partners slowly but surely trying to change their mind to make them friends again. And the best part? We don't really see much of it. We understand it all through sub context and a few seconds of screen time.

However, the end made it so much more meaningful. Pat's parents clearly hear Pat fall on the roof and say "just leave it to their generation". And Pran's parents clearly hear him laughing and singing with Pat in his room and just accept it and smile. His mom leaving the guitar out in the open is also a sign that she doesn't want her son to fight her battles anymore.

They probably understand or even understood throughout the years that their sons were still together, making little connections like "oh he's getting a call but it's too late for it to be a client" or "oh he's home again when Pran is home too" or something along those lines.

And to end that train of thought, when Pat is at Pran's room he is no longer silent nor is Pran telling him to be quiet. They don't care. They know that their parents are changing and slowly accepting reality. They know.

I admit I was feeling so sad for the first 30 minutes of the episode. All I could think about was how in the hell did they break up and why we didn't see it happen. But I loved how they decided to show us what was happening. And if they made us buy it for 30 minutes they sure as hell made their friends and family buy it for a while.

I was already impressed on the other episodes by how mature the characters were becoming, with Pat knowing that they couldn't just run away forever just to be together. I know that Pran realized it first (mostly because he didn't want his mom to worry) but I didn't think in a million years that Pat would reach that conclusion, he just seemed happy to be there. I love how that mimics real life. You can't just run off without money and a job and expect it to work. It was so realistic that it impressed me.

And another thing, it's the last one I promise, about this BL is communication. This is supposed to be an enemies to lovers BL and yet even when they were enemies (even when they were kids), they communicated everything. And that doesn't change throughout their relationship. Bratty as they may be to each other, fighting all the time, competing all the time, they are one of the most healthy couples I've seen on TV.

They weren't just there for each other during the happy or sad parts, there were there for each other all the time, even just on calm and normal days, just existing near each other and again: that's so real. That's what a relationship is all about.

This is hands down one of the best BL's I've watched for sure.

[sponsoredbylaziness]

Romanticizing Loneliness

I'm doing this again. I'm just so bored and I need an outlet.

Sometimes I feel like I don't feel like I belong in both the Philippines or in United States. I don't know. My whole life up to this point, I have a stronger connection with the US than PH. Mainly because I grew up US not in PH. But after spending almost a year here in the PH, I'm starting to gravitate more of being a Filipino than American. I wouldn't say that I am a Filipino even though I was born here, but you know. I'm warming up to the idea. This doesn't mean that I will stay here and work in the Philippines. No sir. Under no circumstances will I stay and work in the Philippines. Fuck their salary, working conditions, and living. I'd rather be single, graduate, and go back to the US to work. I just wish I wouldn't go back to the US single. I'd want a jowa to be with me when I go back.

Another thing that's bothering me is that all of my family and relatives are telling me to watch out for girls here in the PH. They say things like, " be very careful about finding a girlfriend here at the college because you live in the US." My uncle jokingly said to me, "Don't worry Angelo, just have fun. You won't have a problem getting any girls there in the Philippines." My mom before I came back here for my intersem was asking if I was looking at a girl here in the college. She was warning me like, " If you like a girl, be friends with her first." I just agreed, said my goodbyes and walked to the TSA line to get to my flight. What a load of bullshit. To be fair to them, I'm not even trying to get a girl right now and when I did try.... I failed spectacularly. I don't think I've caught a bigger L than that. Looking back at that event, I just laugh at how unbelievably fucked I fucked that up. To think that she liked me back, what was I thinking. I think it's because everyone around me is settling down. Both of my sisters have boyfriends. My friends at the US have their girlfriends or boyfriends. My friends here at the PH have jowas. I think the girl that rejected me is in a relationship. And I'm here 11/11 on rejections and failed relationships. Maybe I'm the problem or something. Do I share too much, or share too little. Do I be flirty or sensitive. People say I need to have an angle or something. I don't know what to believe anymore. Maybe I'm just too nice or maybe too passive. I can't help it. Whenever I see someone I really like, I get nervous, I get shy, I stare at them hoping they're brave enough to start the conversation. But I also need to learn about self respect.

I remember one of the conversations my little sister's boyfriend told me while we were out bar hopping. I was telling them that there was a guy who kept liking all of my posts in instagram and stories all the way back to my first post. He told me, "When I first saw you. I knew you weren't gay. So take it as a compliment." Not that I already wasn't. I was talking to one of my friends one time and we were talking about people who are attracted to me on bumble and I said, "I guess only filipinas would match me" and he said, "and apparently gays too."

I don't know yet whether to share this on twitter or not. I don't know if I'm going to do this regularly or not. I'll just say I posted a thing on twitter and shit idk. This is too intimate for people to see. But it's not like people even follow me so. It is what it is. I'm almost 26 years old. At this point, I'm accepting the fact that I am going to be a virgin for the rest of my life. I'm not desperate enough to pay money for sex. I think it's my morals that is stopping me from having sex. I just want a partner who would like to be a couch potato with me. I fantasized about just having a girl sit by me side-by-side with her head resting on my shoulder while we watch TV shows on my laptop. Then spoon her while we go to sleep. Like how the wind embraces your entire body, I want to hug someone like that. No sex, just that. Cuddling.

I guess that's it for now. Feelings

[xxs3puc4lowxx]

T3NYUKI INCORR3CT QUOT3Z (no typinn quirkz b3low)

Tenma: They don’t make them like me no more. I’m the last of my kind. Yuki: Thank god.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tenma: I’m in love with you. Yuki: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork. Tenma: I know. Yuki: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tenma: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me. Yuki: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuki: I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back. Tenma: Why are you telling me this, I don't care. Tenma, right after Yuki leaves the room: I miss him already.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tenma: Life is like Yuki. It's short.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuki: Why can't any of you ever clean up after yourselves? Tenma: I have a person who does that for me. Yuki: Yeah, ME. Tenma: I'm glad you agree.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuki: You are an absolute fucking dork. Tenma, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork! Yuki: sighs Yeah, you're my dork.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tenma: Is that a gun?! Yuki: It's not what it looks like! Tenma: It looks like a gun! Yuki: Okay, maybe it is what it looks like, but in my defense, it doesn't have anymore bullets, so I technically can't shoot it anymore. Tenma: …ANYMORE?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuki: Tenma, I don't like you. Tenma: What did you say? Yuki: You heard me! Tenma, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tenma: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Yuki: This is a lie. Yuki: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie. Yuki: HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tenma: Yuki, you're my best friend. Yuki: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend. Yuki: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tenma and Yuki are in Paris. Tenma: I'm…moved. I…I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel…destiny? Yuki: But… Tenma: I don't know what it is. I feel like… I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and… Yuki: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception? Tenma: Yeah. Yuki: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe. Tenma: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION. Yuki: Okay, alright.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tenma, to Yuki: We had a date! Tenma: aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuki: You have Crayons? Tenma: Yes, I have— Yuki: You're— how old are you? Tenma: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuki: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Tenma: Yuki: Vroom vroom, come out already.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuki: Tenma taught me to think before I act. Yuki: …So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuki, texting Tenma: Any plans for tonight? Tenma: No. Yuki: Loser.

[joes-grapes]

longing

thanks matt /gen

-

answer the phone.

it's been, shit, god knows how long since co last picked up. time habits itself on passing at different intervals when i'm not talking with cor. i run my fingers through the phone cord's loops again, hoping by some act of grace i'm getting closer to establishing a connection. i'm not. ring, ring, 9 rings and it stops, just like it always does.

"i'm sorry," one of the nurses says, "maybe next time." it smiles sweetly before walking off. i hear her lock the door behind her.

back to this. the same hospital, the same hospital bed, the same injury. i'm used to lying here at this point, but that doesn't make it any more pleasant. i can't even look at the decorations anymore without feeling sick, because every new one just means someone else either went home or died.

they've been red and pink lately, be that for some fucked up valentine's day or viscera, i can't tell. little strings of hearts hang from the ceiling, some anatomical, and glitter floats amok. they've even put glitter in my iv bag, sometime when i was sleeping. despite this, my pain has neither increased or decreased.

i sigh. it's gonna be even longer until my next chance at a phone call. it used to feel like they came every day, and then it was every other day, then every week between them. i can't tell how long it is now, and they won't tell me. they seem to enjoy my unrest. it's getting harder to hold out. watching the tvs has become more appealing since they always seem to pass the time faster, but after a while i can't feel my hands or get the static out of my head. ultimately, i have to make do listening to the sounds of the nearby rooms, which are mostly cries of pain.

goddamnit, why couldn't co have picked up? all i want is to leave this damn hospital, and co's the only one who can check me out. now i'm going to have to wait, wait, wait until my next chance. if they even give me another. all i can do is sit and long, and i think i'll cry.

-

this might be bad because i don't really know what i'm doing. anyway it was fun to write.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I'm rewatching Gotham the TV show and it has potencial but becomes very shitty thanks to three major problems

1. It is a Batman prequel. They can't solve most of the problems nor really go all for it (letting some characthers stay dead, rediming some characters or doing anything of significative change) so to not impact the Batman lore.

- Possible solution: make it a otherword story. My sugestion: present it as a otherword story to the start, this is going to be very different. But them start normal, with small changes, maybe that criminal who would be a rogue just straigth up dies or Bruce meets Harley Quinzel on school and something it's just awalys of. Play with it. Go on with permanent changes to the point where the word really looks unique. Maybe the what if here it's that Thomas Wayne wasn't really a good person or that Jim Gordon will end up in a cape. Maybe Bruce having early connections with the criminal underground and being baby dective will twist something in him, maybe he will stat going for Jason "stop crime by controlling it" plan after all. The seeds are there. The audience doesn't know. But the uncanew valley of seeing charecthers you know well having a similar essence but learning and going into different paths is unsethling and the curiosity of what these are will catch the audience and if the changes create a logical path to a alternative Gotham where Bruce Wayne becames something different (and so did his rogues and allys, maybe even some changing positions) you won.

- Personal Opnion: DO NOT GIVE JOKER A BACKSTORY OR A SECRETY IDENTITY. Nothing against Jerome/Jeremiah fans butI truly think that having the Joker be just the Joker it's the best way to write him.

2. It's problematic. It's soo problematic.

Almost all woman in the show are plot devices, will suffer through the woman in refrigerator tropes and/or will be treated badly.

It fetishizes saphic relashionships and uses queerness as a proof of crazyness and/or evil (they literaly introduce the idea that Barbara hss a dark side by showing she had a previous relationship with a woman for god's sake). And while m|m relashionships are not fetishized they are always subtext and a proof of evil and/or crazyness or sometimes just a joke.

It's soo goddamed ableist. I swear the show it's unapologitically ableist. The jokes, the subtext, the main text. Everyone on the show was ableist at least once or was coded as neurodivergent as a way to prove they were a problem. The only exception being Baby Bruce Wayne, who did not make any offencive joke and was unitencionally coded as neurdivergent and treated well anyway.

I would add that more POC characthers in major roles would be great. They have a diverse cast but most of them are casted as evil and/or (even moro) on sidelines.

Solution: BE BETTER. It isn't even hard to rewrite the story in way where these problems aren't there anymore. Really it's embarassing.

3. Tries too hard to be a edgy version of The Animated Series. Sometimes it suceed in presenting a similar feeling: Bruce confronting Matches Malone and Firefly backstory episodes for example are unique storys but have that BTAS energy. But others like the Mr. Freeze arc sound way more close to the original text but also worse, you can see the references but not the feeling and it sucks cause Fries story it's one of the highlights of BTAS.

I don't even have sugestion to that. Because it's natural to be influencied by BTAS and honestly by the whole DCAU (except by Bruce and Barbara romance fuck that), I think take care while doing that?