#its such a little diva but i love it still | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gretavanfleetposts · 8 months

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Give Me Shelter

Author's Note: The long awaited sequel to Make Her Happy that literally no one asked for lol here's the first part

Content Warnings: dirty talk, penetrative sex (18+ minors do not interact), swearing

Word Count: 5.5k

Jake stood on the other side of the door with a grin plastered to his lips that you knew he hoped would make up for the fact that it was him rather than his brother.

It almost did.

It doesn't.

Almost.

"He could at least call me," you said angrily without so much as a 'hello' in his direction before you turned and let him meander through the door in your pursuit. This was an occurrence you were getting all too used to and formalities had been done away with long ago. You certainly weren't in the mood tonight.

"Maybe he was worried he'd feel the icy stare through the screen," he quipped from behind you, placing the bouquet of flowers in his hands that you hadn't even noticed on the counter as he followed you into the kitchen.

"He'd deserve it if he did."

You were beyond frustrated with him truthfully. Josh had sent Jake in his place several times since the first, although the first time had been the only time things had gone as far as they had. But you were beginning to feel like you were dating his twin. Not that he wasn't good to you when he came over. He just wasn't the one you wanted.

Well, maybe it was a bit more complicated than that.

"You want me to fight with you? Let you pretend I'm him?"

"He wouldn't fight with me," you sighed as you rummaged around in your kitchen cabinets looking for a container large enough to hold the full meal you had cooked. "He'd be understanding and sweet and make me feel heard and it would annoyingly take all of the fight right out of me."

"I'll be me then and fight back," he said with a wide smile that you didn't return as you moved to put dinner into the tupperware you had pulled out. But when he saw what you were doing, his brows furrowed and the smile disappeared. "Woah, what are you doing? It's still hot, we should eat it."

"I don't want to. I'm just going to order something," you answered flatly.

"I can do that." He took your wrists in his hands to stop your movements, even as you tried to pull them away. "Hey, wait, stop, I can do it. I'll put it away and do the dishes while the food is on its way. Just tell me what you're in the mood for."

It felt like a dam breaking as you let your face fall into his chest, his arms circling your body as tears began to flow.

"I just don't understand why he can't at least call or give me some kind of warning. He always does this, he does this more and more, and more and more I just feel like an accessory that sometimes he wants to wear and sometimes he doesn't."

"You're not an accessory to him, I promise you." He soothed you with a quiet voice and a hand snaking up into your hair to hold you against him. "He wanted to be here, he always does. It kills him that he's away so much but he really does love you."

"You're off, you have a break. Why are you here and he isn’t?"

"Well, I don't require nearly as much maintenance as that little diva," he answered with a laugh at his own joke. The joke didn't reach you though. It only seemed to solidify the feelings you'd been having more and more lately: Josh didn't have time for you.

"Come on," he jostled you from your thoughts before they could spiral, holding you away from him so he could meet your eyes. "You're hangry. Food will put things into perspective."

Food won't fix this.

Pizza does sound really good right now though.

You swiped tears away from your eyes with the back of your hand and sniffed back whatever waterfall needed desperately to fall.

"Pizza?" you asked quietly.

He smiled.

"Pizza it is. Go put your feet up; I've got this." He nodded toward the living room and with a sigh, you resigned to let him take care of things for the night. But before turning to head toward some actual relaxation, you met his eyes with gratefulness seeping into yours.

"Thank you."

"You can thank me later," he said with a smirk that had your stomach doing somersaults despite your internal reprimanding.

—

"Food's here."

Jake's voice woke you. Well, that and the smell of piping hot pizza. You hadn't realized you'd fallen asleep, hadn't even realized you'd been tired. But needing to cry often did that: lulled you into a frustrated slumber of avoidance.

"God, that smells so good," you commented, stretching and sitting up to make room for him on your couch as he set the large box down on the coffee table.

"I know. Way better than whatever you were cooking." He joked as he took a seat next to you, fiddling with the TV remote while you threw open the box and pulled out a piece.

"Be nice, I'm still hangry," you mumbled as you began eating in a way that betrayed how much the cheese was burning your tongue.

"I mean it," he added, dipping his head a little to see your face better. "You can yell at me if it would be cathartic."

There was a sincerity behind his eyes that warmed you. He always was too sweet to you, to do this so consistently. And surely he was busy some of those times. Never too busy for you though, it seemed. Because he always showed up.

Why do you always show up?

"Wouldn't be the same," you shrugged, abandoning the slice of pizza you had grabbed on a free space of the box as you decided to let it cool a bit more before you burned the rest of your mouth.

You felt his fingertips suddenly brush against your skin as he pushed hair behind your ear almost absentmindedly. And meeting his eyes, you saw more of that sincerity. But this time, your eyes plunged down to his lips, a movement that surely didn't go unnoticed as his followed suit. And you suddenly felt nervous under his gaze, anticipating what he might do as a result of that look and unsure of what that would mean to you.

"Jake…I don't know how much I'm in the mood for date night."

That's not true.

It was an easy way to put a swift end to the tension and had him dropping his hand back into his lap with a soft smile that didn't look the least bit wounded.

Maybe he's just good at hiding it.

"That's fine. I don't have to be Josh tonight. I can be whoever you want me to be."

You knew deep down what you wanted him to be that night but you didn't let yourself acknowledge it. You couldn't. Not before dinner, anyway.

"Can you be my friend right now?" you asked instead, ignoring how hot you suddenly felt and how good the exposed skin on his chest suddenly looked.

His smile widened a tinge as he caught the path of your eyes again but he didn't acknowledge it.

"Easiest thing in the world," he said in a soft voice, sitting back further as if to welcome whatever you were about to lay at his feet.

You sighed and turned your eyes toward the pizza box as you thought about it, the fact that Josh wasn't there and Jake was.

"I'm so proud of you all but it's getting harder. Undeniably. And I just don't see him ever having the time for me. At least not more than he does now. And even now, the time he has for me is…dwindling."

"Have you told him this?"

"No," you admitted. "Not lately and not in those words. With the tour ramping up and having him home this week, I was trying not to give him anything to dwell on on the road. No distractions."

Maybe that was stupid but you hated the idea of him being far away and worried about your relationship. You hated the idea of him being onstage and not being able to fully enjoy it, worried about you the entire time.

"You're part of his life, not a distraction. If he wants to make this work, he'll have to find a better balance. I think he'd understand that if you just talked to him."

Maybe he couldn't make up for the lost time. Or maybe you'd grown too attached to what seemed to always be right in front of you, like you'd been an afterthought for too long.

That's not fair to Josh and you know it.

"Aren't you worried he's gonna stop sending you?" You shot Jake a smile that masked the thoughts you'd begun to spin in your mind. But he only shook his head and sighed heavily.

"He knows I'm not the answer," he said candidly.

You thought about that for a moment before meeting his gaze again and asking the obvious.

"Then why does he keep sending you?"

"Because I'm always free," he suddenly smiled, masking his own thoughts he'd begun to spin in his mind, surely.

You couldn't stop your own smile, even knowing it wasn't the truth.

He was quiet a moment, turning away to face the TV you'd both been ignoring and the pizza that was cooling as he seemed to lose himself in thought. But god, he looked pretty that way. You hated to admit it but he did. He was a good listener and easy to listen to. He'd been your sounding board for the past few months on the date nights he'd filled in for, helping you finish off bottles of wine and working through a list of classic movies one or both of you had never seen. He'd eaten countless dishes meant for you and Josh and even learned the card game you had meant to teach Josh, although he was a much poorer sport than his twin would have been. But still, it had made you laugh watching him try to cheat using the reflection of the wine glass sitting in front of you and throwing the cards all over the table when he'd been caught. He'd only done it because you'd been crying when he had arrived and he was determined to take your mind off the obvious. And then there were the flowers, which were becoming a more common occurrence…

"Did you talk about it the first time after I left?"

You felt like you were pulled out of a reenactment of a dream but you knew without asking what he was referring to.

The first time. When you said filthy things to me and I loved it.

"No. It didn't feel like we needed to. We just woke up and went about our day together."

Like nothing even happened.

"Maybe that's why he sends me," Jake suggested. "He isn't worried about it."

You were unsure what to make of it and even more unsure of what to say. So instead, you nodded silently and reached for your pizza, deep in thought and ignoring whatever Jake put on the TV despite your eyes fixing to it. And you ate mindlessly for what felt like a long moment before you finally spoke again, a half-baked sentiment that was more formed out of anger and frustration than anything else.

"I'm not dating you though, I'm dating him. He could act like it."

Jake didn't turn to you.

"Is this your way of telling me you want me to leave?"

"No. It's better than being alone."

"Well, I'd hardly call that a raving review," he laughed, seeming to fake hurt that was probably somewhat real.

"It is nice of you to do this," you quickly added, getting a glimpse of how it had sounded without.

"I don't mind," he answered before taking a bite of pizza that effectively jumbled his words as he continued speaking. "Not in the slightest."

"Well, to be fair, you got to fuck me so no, I imagine you don't mind."

He looked somewhat shocked as he tried to swallow his bite rather than choke, mumbling out a, "Jesus-", that you didn't let him finish.

"Am I wrong?"

"I don't keep coming over here with my hopes up if that's what you're implying."

Would it be so bad if you did?

"You don't think about it?" you questioned, feeling emboldened by God knew what and hoping, praying even, that you liked his answer, especially given how much you'd thought about it as of late.

Fucking annoying, honestly. He could have at least done me a favor and been bad in bed. Maybe that would have made things easier.

"Of course I think about it," he admitted, "I think about it all the fucking time. It's indecent how much I think about it."

That brought a smile to your face, one that you couldn't stifle even if you tried.

"But I'm happy with whatever you're happy with," he continued. "I don't come over here expecting anything. I'll take whatever you want to give me, whatever that means for you. I told you, I'm whoever you want me to be and that, tonight, is friend."

I don't want you to just be my friend tonight.

You played with the hem of the oversized t-shirt you were wearing, suddenly far less hungry than you had been as you thought about what he was saying and how he had made you feel over the past few months.

And why does he always have to look so fucking good?

"What if I didn't want it to just be friend?" you asked hesitantly, unsure of how he'd respond.

It suddenly felt more dire that he could find a way to make that work too, as easily as he could the friend part.

God, you were nervous.

"Then I'd say can you at least let me finish my pizza before you jump me? Geez," he joked, presumably not taking you seriously.

So you tried again.

"I mean after," you responded with a much more serious look, "when this horrible movie you put on thinking I wouldn't notice is over and the leftover pizza is cold and he still isn't here. What will you be then?"

He leaned forward to discard his crust back in the box and brush off his hands before he drew in a long breath, fuel for the thought he was trying to carefully voice.

"After," he began slowly, "when the movie is over and the leftover pizza goes cold…and Josh still isn't here…" He paused to look at you, something cryptic written in his features that you wished you could shake out of him. You needed his thoughts and his honesty to help you mitigate yours. You felt far too alone in your desires at the moment, the one person who never seemed to hold back finally doing just that. "I'll walk you to your room and I'll tuck you in. And if you ask me to stay, I'll stay. Because I'm your friend."

You gave him an understanding nod and a quiet, "Okay," before turning back to the pizza.

—

You couldn't even say what the movie was about. It was a documentary that had started about aliens but somehow had drifted well into pirate territory in a confusing arc that you clearly hadn't followed. To be fair, you were watching without seeing, hearing without listening, enraptured in a swirl of self-destructive thoughts that actually weren't so self-destructive but more left a path of destruction in their wake. And just as predicted, hands stopped reaching for slices of pizza and cheese stopped boiling over the edges as the air took it to its chilly grave. The movie somehow came to a meaningful conclusion that only really meant something to you because credits rolled across the screen. And Josh still wasn't there.

"You look tired," Jake commented after a moment of sitting in darkness next to you, the only light being the tiny white names scrolling across the screen.

God, how many people could it have possibly taken to make that?

"I could sleep," you lied. Well, maybe you could sleep but that wasn't what you intended to do.

Nonetheless, he nodded and stood silently, taking the pizza box to the kitchen and returning to take your hand and lead you from the couch to your bedroom, implication suddenly heavy in the air as he led.

He said nothing as he stood in the doorway letting you walk past him into the room, nothing as you approached your bed before turning back to face him, nothing as you waited for a move he clearly wasn't going to make on his own.

"I think about it too, you know. The first time…" You trailed off without further explanation, your hands suddenly fiddling with the hem of your oversized shirt as you hoped it incited some action on his part.

Jake was silent for a beat before understanding washed over his face and he nodded quickly.

"I’m flattered," was all he said with a soft, almost shy smile as he finally crossed the room to your bed to pull down the comforter, turning expectantly, waiting for you to get in.

He wasn't typically one to be humble but there was something endearing about the rosy hue growing brighter on his cheeks. It almost reminded you of Josh to be honest. And you weren't sure if that made it worse given how much you wanted him.

Without any warning, instead of climbing into bed as he'd expected you to do, you closed the space between you and pressed your lips to his jaw, reveling in the sound of a sudden hushed inhale as he instinctively leaned into the feeling. But his words, hushed and quiet as he spoke them as if he were hoping you wouldn't hear, betrayed the struggle in his mind that was much less willing than his body.

"I think this is a bad idea…" he trailed off quietly as he tilted his chin ever so slightly to let your lips continue their attack along his jaw. And when he heard no response from you, you felt his Adam's apple bob with a gulp as he mustered up the strength to speak again. "I know that you're upset-"

"You said he wasn't worried," you interjected quickly as your mouth moved to his neck where you felt goosebumps prickling against your lips and tongue. You continued your movements as your hands weaved their way into his linen shirt, only to be met by his hands grasping your biceps as if he were going to stop you but the fight had evaded him before he could.

"I know what I said-"

"I just want to feel you," you said finally, pulling your face away to look him in the eyes and put your desperation on display for him.

He was better than being alone. Far better. And fuck, you wanted him.

He seemed to give in almost immediately as his lips found yours more earnestly, losing himself finally in the way you tasted. It felt like a relief to have his hands on you, any hands really as the nights you'd spent alone had grown longer.

"This is the last time," he murmured against your lips as his hands traveled up under your baggy t-shirt to explore the smooth skin that lay beneath.

You agreed with a half-hearted hum on your lips as your own hands traversed over the thin material of his shirt, slipping downward in search of the belt he always wore. You worked quickly to pull it off, setting your hands to work on the button and zipper as it clamored to the floor.

"I mean it," he mumbled again, never really pulling his mouth from yours entirely.

His hands were warm on your skin and did their best to distract from what he was saying, words you'd process later when your mind was no longer numb and flooded with him alone. If there was a line you were crossing, you'd see it in the morning when you woke, drawn perfectly on the floor and smudged only where you and Jake had danced across it.

"Yes, sir," you whispered that time, pulling back ever so slightly to bat your lashes up at him, only to be greeted with an eye roll in return. But a smile adorned his lips nonetheless.

"Gonna get me in trouble," he whispered back as he shook his head, the rosiness of his cheeks growing hotter and redder thanks to your mouth and hands on him, now prying his shirt from his body to send it floating to the floor.

He pushed into you again, squishing any space between you so you sent your arms circling his shoulders instead. He held you closely too, hands pulling you in at your waist impossibly closer even while he walked you backward toward the edge of your bed. You felt magnetized to him, utterly incapable of prying yourself from him even as the thought of Josh's impending arrival swirled somewhere in the back of your mind.

Jake started with the hem of your leggings, tucking his fingers in and doing his best to work them down your legs without his mouth so much as leaving yours. And when the material moved beyond his reach, he helped you shimmy them down the rest of the way and step out of them. And the moment your legs were freed, he spun the two of you so he could take a seat on the edge of your bed and pulled you into his lap.

Pulling his face away from yours finally and letting his hands drop to his jeans to finish the work you had started, he spoke again in a much more serious voice, gravelly and grave.

"You're going to ride me. Take exactly what you want from me."

It was a little glimpse of the Jake he had been the first time he had filled in for date night. And it was exactly what you hadn't realized you were missing.

"Can you do that for me?" he asked as he freed himself and coaxed you into a hover over him with one hand at your hip while the other pulled your panties to the side.

You were speechless, his eyes boring into yours and his hands guiding you even without your answer until the head of his cock brushed your entrance. Your eyes watered with anticipation, every muscle in your body tense as you waited to feel him push inside. And not a single word formed on your tongue or a single thought in your mind.

"Yeah, I think you can," he answered for you with a smirk on his lips and his hand wrapped around himself, already guiding it into you. "And I'm gonna talk you through it."

With his arm snaked around your waist, he brought you down onto his cock in one swift motion, earning a sharp gasp from you as he filled you, a sudden stretch that felt somehow more delicious than it had the first time. Maybe because you knew what you had been missing out on this time around.

"Fuck, I missed you," you breathed, your eyes falling shut for a moment while your thighs warmed against his and the familiar sting of the stretch began to turn to pleasure.

His hands moved to your hips, finding the skin just under the material of the oversized shirt you still wore and digging into the skin there, not so hard so as to leave bruises but hard enough to keep you steady as you leaned forward to drop your forehead against his shoulder, suddenly overtaken by feelings you didn't quite understand.

He felt the shift, something akin to desperate to have him turned desperate to keep him. He felt it in your hot breath against his neck, felt it in the heat radiating from every point on your body, felt it in the unsteady beat of breaths you were taking, almost overtaken by the fierce pounding of your heart as desire and hurt and guilt all fought to take hold of your body. But he didn't retreat from what he felt, only held you that much tighter.

"Are you still with me?" he asked softly, just above a whisper against the shell of your ear, a brief pause from the man he seemed to become when in your bedroom.

You were with him. Maybe a little too with him, you realized. Josh had sent his brother to the rescue so many times, you were beginning to want to be rescued.

"I'm with you," was all you answered back, saving him from your inner turmoil in hopes he'd let you keep going through it.

He seemed keen to let you, too. Or maybe keen to let himself was more accurate. Regardless, wherever your mind had begun to drift, you were suddenly snapped back into place within his arms as he breathed out a rather unfair, "Good girl," and pulled your hips forward once, sliding you easily along his cock thanks to the slick that had been building since the moment you had seen him standing there at your front door. Shamelessly.

"Shit, Jake," you hissed as searing hot pleasure seeped into your body the longer you warmed around him. It incited you to move your hips, slowly at first, searching for that delicious push and pull and stretch of him inside you that felt like a too-distant memory.

He dipped one arm around your waist as his other curled up over your back to bury his hand in your hair, keeping your forehead pressed into his skin as he mumbled words of encouragement. Not that you needed encouraging. His cock, thick and hot inside of you was certainly encouragement enough.

"Ride it, just like that," he murmured as your hips worked up into a steady rhythm. "Just like that, that's it."

You clung to him as you did, clung to the feeling of being full, of his arms holding you. And it only spurred you on, your movements quickening their pace as you moved around him and the sound of skin on skin and both of your heavy breathing began to fill the room. Gentle curses whispered in nothing but a breath betrayed his always cool and casual demeanor and only seemed to fuel the feeling growing hot in your abdomen.

You slid easily along his cock, up and down, taking him fully each time before retreating. His arms helped you move too, encouraging your pace and squeezing you hard like you were grounding him even though you were certain it was the other way around.

"You're so fucking perfect like this," he whispered against your hair, the words punctuated by a noise you'd never quite heard him make, a shameless moan that you suddenly felt desperate to hear again. But having let the sound slip, he seemed to regain his control as he used his grip in your hair to pull your face back to meet his eyes. They were glassy, almost glazed over with euphoria, his lips parted as he struggled and failed to breath evenly, a thin sheen of sweat forming on his forehead and matting his hair to it. He was breathtaking, as usual.

"Jesus fuck, Jake," you breathed, your voice hitching in your throat as the words turned into a pathetic noise.

"Yeah? Tell me all about it," he asked in a breathy, hushed voice like it was a secret meant only for the two of you. "Did you miss me, beautiful? Does that feel as good as you remember?"

Better.

You gave him a desperate nod, answering all and none of his questions at once, your brows furrowed and bottom lip sucked between your teeth and the tension building within you clearly visible on your face.

He nodded back with a whisper of a smirk on his lips, breathless as he was himself. "Yeah, poor thing missed my cock, didn’t she? Tell me how good I feel," he urged.

"Fuck, Jake, you feel so good," you practically chanted, stealing a moment to gaze down at where the two of you connected while something about blurred lines fizzled out of view in the back of your mind. "So fucking good."

Like you belong here with me.

A groan ripped its way through his chest as his hips began lifting slightly to meet each of your downward motions, driving his cock into your sensitive spot with each thrust and only making you want to ride him that much harder despite the burn creeping up into your knees.

"You take it so well for me, such a fucking good girl," he praised you through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw. "Bouncing on it like you were fucking made for it, that's my pretty girl."

You reveled in his words and the way they heightened the pleasure of his cock pressing against that sweet spot inside of you on each inward thrust, pushing you closer and closer to your own orgasm.

He could see the impending release in your eyes, too, given the way he suddenly gripped you harder and brought his mouth close to your ear to whisper to you his words of encouragement, using one hand splayed flat against the bed to hold you both up. "I know you want to come. Let it go for me, I'll talk you through it just like I promised. I've got you, baby."

Fuck.

"God, Jake," you moaned against his throat, fighting through the strain of your muscles to ride him harder, to take him deeper and faster, wet noises now echoing obscenely through the room.

"Yeah, just like that, let it go," he urged in what was something like half-coherent words, half-moan. "I want you to come all over my cock. Make a mess of me like you're so good at doing." And then a light, "Fuck," after meant only for you.

You were close but it threatened to tumble back downward without reaching its peak, a mental block that you felt you were suddenly fighting, desperately trying to push through before you lost it altogether. But Jake's voice suddenly came softer, finding you in your struggle and bringing you back up to the surface.

"Just relax, let it happen," he coaxed as he took your jaw in his hand to direct your eyes to his, warm and inviting and safe. "I've got you, I'm with you. Just let me feel you."

Fuck.

With his words, you were done for. You felt it ripple through you lightly at first, quickly growing more intense as you pushed your body through it, spurred on by his continued movements matching yours. Your eyes struggled to stay open as it washed through you but watching you and, in turn, you watching him, seemed to push his own orgasm along. His own face began to show the control that was quickly evading him.

Suddenly he was flipping you onto your back, your bodies still connected, and driving into you as his name spilled from your mouth over and over again. Hiking your leg up over his shoulder, he pushed himself over the edge and you along with him for a second time, his hand still wrapped beneath your jaw but his forehead now falling against your sternum as he basked in it and fucked you both through it.

You each came down slowly, neither of you moving from your place where your arms still held one another. If reality was that he had to leave your arms, you didn't want to face it. But finally, with a sigh, Jake withdrew and pulled his exhausted self from your grasp to grab a towel and clean you up, cleaning himself up shortly after.

You maneuvered into the warm embrace of your comforter to watch him move about the room, collecting his shirt and belt and redressing silently before he crossed back over to you. But this time, he didn't join you under the covers. Instead he stood beside you and let his hand cradle your cheek for a moment, looking like he was memorizing your fucked out look. Or just all the little details he had missed.

"You should get some sleep," he said quietly, looking almost forlorn.

"I don't want you to go," you argued immediately, knowing his next steps would either carry him out the door or bring him to your side.

But he only shook his head, much to your disappointment.

"You said you would stay if I asked."

Maybe that was mean to throw at him but he had said it and you weren't really in a good place to be abandoned by another of the Kiszka brothers.

He swallowed hard and let his thumb swipe gently along your jaw. He looked…remorseful.

"Josh will be home soon. I think the two of you should talk. And I don't think I should be here when he gets here."

With only a quick kiss pressed to your forehead, he was out the door without another glance your direction before you had more time to protest, quietly padding through the home to collect his things. It wasn't until you heard the front door shut that you felt truly alone in your own home, wondering when Josh would arrive. And you felt tears well up in your chest and begin to spill from your eyes.

#gvf #greta van fleet #jake kiszka #jake kiszka fic #josh kiszka #josh kiszka fic #jake kiszka smut #greta van fic #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet smut

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lafemmemacabre · 2 months

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My personal top albums of all time

If anyone who respects my music opinions is interested, IN NO ORDER because I can't choose between my babies. Also, warning, it's mostly gonna be albums from the 90s. Only the albums that are described as Gothic Rock, Darkwave (Neoclassical or not), Deathrock and Ethereal Wave are goth, the rest are some other flavor of dark alternative.

Aégis, by Theatre of Tragedy (1998)

Exquisite Gothic Rock, despite the band usually playing Metal, with themes of mostly Greco-Roman mythology with some other European folklore thrown in. The most angelic and soft soprano vocals delivered by Liv Kristine with baritone whispers delivered by Raymond. Ethereal yet complex atmospheres with soft guitars, strong bass, poetic lyrics in Shakespearean English.

Highlights: Cassandra, Venus, Poppæa, Bacchante.

Inferno, by Lacrimosa (1995)

Gothic Rock that flirts slightly with Metal in some tracks. This is when they made the jump from Neue Deutsche Todeskunst (basically late 80s/early 90s German Darkwave except it's a little weirder than most other Darkwave at the time) to more Rock-based styles of music, as well as the first album Anne Nurmi was featured in. Tilo's best studio vocal performance in my opinion. Beautiful lyrics about love, passion, devotion, and the end of the world, could only be written by a goth guy with a gift for poetry who just fell in deep love. Only iffy track is Copycat but even that one is still a classic among fans if only because of its high energy, and killer guitars, bass and percussion.

Highlights: Schakal, Vermächtnis der Sonne, No blind eyes can see, Kabinett der Sinne.

Passion's Price, by Diva Destruction (1999)

Diva Destruction's debut, from back when Darkwave was actually dark and dreary in sound. Songs about heartbreak, betrayal, abuse and love, in the band's most musically complex and hauntingly atmospheric album. A definite classic with nothing but great track after great track.

Highlights: The Broken Ones, Snake, Prey, Glare.

Selected Scenes from the End of the World, by London After Midnight (1992)

Some of the best Gothic Rock to have ever come out, in my opinion. Deep, rich, dark, mysterious, sensual, macabre, romantic (arguably too romantic even by 90s goth standards as the album apparently got criticized for being almost entirely love songs? Wtf). The song that introduced me to goth in February of 2007 is in this album and it's the reason why I never looked back.

Highlights: The Black Cat, Claire's Horrors, Sacrifice, Spider and the Fly.

Annwyn, beneath the Waves, by Faith and the Muse (1996)

Ethereal Wave royalty in maybe not their most iconic album, but definitely the one closest to my heart by them. Despite goth music being associated with darkness in the minds of most, this album is full of glittering light in the most poetic and heartfelt way possible. The vocals are soft and tender when they need to be, delivered by Monica Richards, or firm and epic when needed, as delivered by William Faith. The lyrical themes are full of Celtic folklore, love, hope, magic and a feeling of reclamation of nature and an ancestral past (but not in like, a white supremacist way, I promise).

Highlights: Annwyn, beneath the Waves, The Hand of Man, The Silver Circle, Rise and Forget.

Treasure, by Cocteau Twins (1984)

Walking a thin line between Ethereal Wave and Dreampop (as they're pioneers in both genres). Some tracks are darker than others, but they're all equally delightful, full of beauty and a dreamy gaze hovers over every single song, all of which contain some of the most heavenly vocals in the scene. One of Robert Smith's favorite albums (he also really like Diva Destruction's debut!). If you're into more relaxing and atmospheric music, this might be your intro to goth.

Highlights: Beatrix, Persephone, Pandora (for Cindy), Lorelei.

Anthology, by Nosferatu (2006)

Legendary Gothic Rock band among those of us who enjoy a campier vampiric goth sound that takes itself too seriously, and deliciously so. Yes, I know I'm cheating by going with a compilation album, sue me. It's simply a collection of their best tracks and I honestly couldn't choose between all their actual albums, so there!

Highlights: Inside the Devil, Lucy is Red, Rise, Witching Hour.

Es reiten die Toten so schnell (or: The Vampyre Sucking at his Own Vein), by Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows (2003)

Probably the gothiest and most elite Neoclassical Darkwave out there. Deeply macabre, equally horrific and beautifully crafted, with expressive and dramatic vocals, themes of vampirism and death masking more human subjects such as social rejection (Anna Varney-Cantondea is a trans woman/transfeminine person who's battled suicidality and depression from a very young age), depression, gay/trans desire, and suicidality. It truly is a masterpiece of macabre and neoclassical goth.

Highlights: The Feast of Blood, Holy Water Moonlight, Baptisma, Dead Souls.

Blood Death Ivory, by Angelspit (2008)

Probably one of the few modern Industrial bands who have thoroughly kept the spirit of early Industrial alive, fashioned after greats such as Skinny Puppy and Die Form, especially in the 00s when the Industrial scene heavily turned to more superficial lyrics based on the aesthetics of cyberpunk art rather than its subversive content. The music is aggressive, simultaneously animalistic yet robotic with a touch of demonic, rarely ever without smartly phrased critiques of capitalism and consummerism. At this point in time the band was a duo between Amelia Arsenic/Destroyx and Zoog Von Rock. It's definitely some edgelord shit (affectionate), but by no means in a vapid, only-for-shock-value way.

Highlights: Skinny Little Bitch, Lust Worthy, Devilicious, Jugular.

Alles für dich, by Grausame Töchter (2012)

Some of the most dynamic, deliciously quirky, sexual, hyper and twisted Dark Electro bands currently making music. The lead vocalist and lyricist of the band, Aranea Peel, is a lesbian dominatrix, fetish model, trained ballet dancer, and lover of Weimar republic era artistry who absolutely imprints lots of dark flapper energy into the band's music and imagery. The lyrics are unabashedly perverted, kinky, sapphic and fucked up. Her singing is nothing short of chef's kiss worthy, always expressive and strange, but with pristine execution and technique.

Highlights: Tanz für dich, TABU, Therapie für dich, ICH DARF DAS!

The Astonishing Eyes of Evening, by Cinema Strange (2002)

KINGS of 00s Deathrock with touches of Dark Cabaret influences, as inescapable in the goth scene in the 00s as She Past Away and its many copycats are now, and for very good reason. Delightfully macabre, not the first to use ghostly androgynous vocals but certainly one of the bands who better utilize that style of vocals. Imo, this and their homonymous album are must-listens for people interested in the goth music scene in general, but especially those interested in Deathrock. Truly Halloween turned into an album.

Highlights: Tomb Lilies, Catacomb Kittens, 'Ere the Flowers Unfold, Legs and Tarpaulin.

Opheliac, by Emilie Autumn (2006)

Literally music for mentally unstable sapphic girls with a poet's soul and flare for both irony and intense earnest feeling. It's a very original combination of Synthpop, Punk Cabaret, and Neoclassical music, with influences of Industrial and Darkwave. It's all masterfully crafted by classically trained violinist, poet, writer, actress, and somewhat of a burlesque performer with a rich alto voice; Emilie Autumn. She wrote this album after suffering medical abuse at a mental hospital after a suicide attempt brought on by an abortion and emotionally abusive relationship. I'm not exaggerating when I say this album saved my life and also changed me as a person.

Highlights: Opheliac, Liar, The Art of Suicide, 306.

Of the Want Infinite, by Requiem in White (1995)

You don't often hear of bands combining Deathrock and Ethereal Wave as they're often perceived as the polar opposite ends of the spectrum of goth music; Deathrock being the goth subgenre closest in sound and idiosyncrasy to punk, and Ethereal Wave being one of the goth subgenres furthest from goth's punk roots. Add in an operatic soprano and you get... Some of THE best, most underrated goth bands of the 90s. Dramatic, ethereal, creepy, elegant, ghostly and complex, with incredible vocals. Truly a pity they only released one album and a couple of EPs.

Highlights: Everlasting Peace, Beneath the Leaves, My Shame, Acanthus.

Agony of the Undead Vampire Part II, by Two Witches (1992)

Truly another giant of vampiric Gothic Rock, absolute 90s legends and Finland's most iconic goth band. Themes of vampirism, occasionally anti-Christianity, sex, sensuality and kink abound. The vocals might put some people off, but it's definitely worth it.

Highlights: The Hungry Eyes, The Omen, Mircalla, We All Fall Down.

Mors Syphilitica, by Mors Syphilitica (1996)

Requiem in White may have disbanded after their first proper album, but two out of its three core band members, then spouses Lisa and Doc Hammer, went on to form pure Ethereal Wave act Mors Syphilitica right after and while it's generally less dark and spooky than its predecesor band, they're still a delight to the ears.

Highlights: The Woman Who Believed, Fell a Dance, The Vain Stroke, Below the Baleful Star.

Beyond the Veil, by Tristania (1999)

I've raved about this album so many times. Just... THE definitive Gothic Metal album to me. The lyrics, the choir of sopranos (aka all Vibeke Stene and her rich, sensual, dark, gorgeous voice), the perfect growling, the somber baritone vocals, the perfectly crafted guitar riffs (no guitar salad, all expressive and precisely timed), the exciting epic percussion, the piano, the violin solos, THE SYMPHONICS. Oh, my God. There's not one second wasted in the entire album, and I'm not being hyperbolic, I mean that. Truly the perfect Gothic Metal album.

Highlights: Beyond the Veil, Angina, Heretique, Opus Relinque.

Serpentine Gallery, by Switchblade Symphony (1995)

Tbh all of Switchblade Symphony's discography is fantastic, but their debut truly is a masterpiece. Creepy ragdoll vibes all over, great vocals, rich composition, poetic yet accessible lyrics. If you're into a more kindergoth vibe (Wednesday Addams, creepy dolls, child-like or even lolita-esque looks), this might be the band for you.

Highlights: Clown, Mine Eyes, Dollhouse, Bad Trash.

Vampyre Erotica, by Inkubus Sukkubus (1997)

The other band that introduced me to goth in 2007 and got me to never look back. Though the first song by them I ever listened to, Samhain, isn't from this album, this album is the one that truly got me hooked for life. Vampiric, sensual, decadent and dark. It has everything including really sweet vocals.

Highlights: Vampyre Erotica, Danse Vampyr, Hell-Fire, Heart of Lilith.

Link to a YouTube Playlist containing all the songs from all the albums above.

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lgbt-cishet-movie-tournament · 12 days

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Most LGBT cishet movie?

Movie Submissions!

Sometimes a cishet movie is a hit in this community even without any stories or characters reflecting us (or at least not explicitly or intentionally or... tastefully). Either because of its campiness and witty banter, its drama, its weirdness, amazing soundtrack and costumes or its diva-like personality taking center stage. Please don't take this poll seriously.

Examples of movies that follow the rules below:

The Wizard of Oz (1939), Clue (1985), The Exorcist (1973), The Servant (1963), The Sound of Music (1965), Heathers (1988), Little Shop of Horrors (1986), All About Eve (1950), Jawbreaker (1999), What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962), 9 to 5 (1980).

Rules for Submissions:

Please don't fight we're literally just ranking the straightest gay movies and transest cis people. The most conforming and queer paradox.

Because of the tendency of this site to call something "gay" just because 2 conventionally attractive men stand next to each other for 5 seconds, I'm not counting shipping possibilities that much. The level of drama, camp and the number drag parodies it has is way more important than possible romantic relationships or sexual tension in submitted films. Also there's ace and aro people voting. Keep them in mind!

It has to be cishet but somehow still queer. Can be the camp, general weirdness, gnc clothes, sassiness, the inclusion of a diva, accidental coding, or some other secret option. Honestly if you find a way to reason so hard it works, you could even try to submit The Godfather (... it is very quotable...)

Submit movies that aren't just American!

Submit movies that are cult classic masterpieces or movies that objectively suck!

I love Mamma Mia but it does have gay characters. This poll came about because I found that a lot of older movies had queer fans that were able to connect to others through these movies while creating their own spaces. This was despite the movie being "straight and gender conforming". I love that there's more rep now, but I'm aiming for this to poll contain more vintage movies for a reason. and I want to expand my watchlist. I'm aware that there are movies from the 70s, 1920s, and other older eras with explicitly gay themes and characters like Victim 1961 or Salome 1920 (and I encourage you to widen your scope of historically significant films) but this isn't that poll.

Old movies with very stealth trans or gay coding with its side characters and unintentional lgbt+ coding is allowed, but you know these things can be hit or miss. Besides, I put Heathers on here even though it's homophobic. Fun but homophobic. You can submit movies with homophobia or conformist themes to a degree.

You can submit propaganda videos, text, and images! If you know any drag parodies of the movies, send them my way!

If you don't want to submit directly, you can @ me

Posts with polls will be tagged as #mlcm poll. Movies posts with #user submitted or #user submission means it was submitted through the google forms and will enter the tournament

Given that not a lot of people watch older movies, the battling polls will be paired by decade until it gets whittled down to the finals where old and young will both compete.

Competition will start May 1 in honor of The Wicker Man 1973, which i wish counted as a poll entry, but I limited myself to one movie I'd slip into the tournament despite the fact that there's not a lot of lgbt fans of the movie. And this was my runner up because I really liked The Exorcist's Regan and Karras. Unless someone else submits him, Wicker Man's not gonna be there. Rest in Peace Christopher Lee and his ugly blonde wig.

#mlcm tournament #xanadu #the wicker man 1973 #horror #lsoh #dolly parton #lgbt #movies #polls #tournament poll #all about eve #whatever happened to baby jane?#q slur

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heyidkyay · 5 months

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Five

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: IT'S FINALLY HERE. THEY MEET. AH IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY. But I have just finished writing part 6! So I figured why not post 5? SO here it is, hope you enjoy? X

>Just a note! So there's no confusion, this first section of 5 coincides at the same time as the last part of 4, as in where heading into the studio it was seen from Matty's POV, this starts with Mouse's and then goes onto them actually meeting one another! Okay? ta:)

Warnings: um, moody matty, lil bit of self-consciousness, mentions of scarring

Masterlist

I was running a bit behind schedule. Which wasn't too unusual for me, what with being the single parent to a rambunctious four year old, but this time around I’d somehow managed to allow myself to be waylaid by Adi's antics.

Apparently upon entering the studio this morning, everything had just felt a little 'off'.

And after having announced that, I’d had to sit back and watch on whilst Adi had trudged out of the room in her heavy black boots, only to come back a few moments later with a stub of sage in one hand and a lighter in the other.

Honestly, I was pretty sure that I could still taste the thick plume of smoke that I’d been forced to inhale each time I breathed in, even after having quickly made my escape. But yet it clung to the back of my throat uncomfortably and I couldn't avoid the grimace that wrinkled my face as I tried to rid myself of the sooty tang which coated my tongue.

But that was just Adi, I supposed. And it was one of the many things I loved most about her, how she was so unapologetically herself- even if it meant that I was forced to cough up a lung-full of herbs every once in a while.

See, it was actually Adi’s grandmother that had gotten her into performing all of the rites and cleanses she did so often. The woman was a real spiritualist and had taken Ads in at a very young age, so Adi had practically grown up around it all. She often spoke about how her grandmother had wanted her to follow down the same path and show a deeper interest, but Adi had always been much more fascinated by music, fashion and all things that revolved around tech.

She was a proper whiz with a computer, but that didn't mean she didn't have an appreciation for her grandmother’s beliefs, nor a knack.

"Are you still coughing up a storm, you drama queen?"

Speak of the devil, and he doth appear, I thought dryly, as Adi reemerged from out of the hazy recording booth. The sage now nowhere to be seen.

I rolled my eyes at her and continued to fiddle with the wires I had wound in my hand.

"I can't fucking stand the stuff, Ads."

Adi merely smirked at me as she bypassed, practically skipping.

"I know, but it's always good to be prepared! Who knows what we'll have to deal with when the infamous diva finally arrives!"

I snorted at Adi's mocking tone and couldn't quite hide the quirk of my lip.

"Fair enough. Just leave that door wide open, will you? And grab the fan while you're at it, as well. Don't need him, and whoever's tagging along, catching on."

I watched Adi laugh in amusement as she wandered over towards the sofa, the sweet sound echoing around the open space.

"On it, Captain!"

The two of us worked quickly after that, whirling around the loft, and one another, in an attempt to get things sorted before our guest's imminent arrival.

It wasn't long before we both recognised the telltale sign of a car pulling up outside though, and upon hearing the engines rumble die out I immediately caught Adi's eye from across the room.

It was a silent challenge and with it there was a frenzied rush to see who could get to the nearest window first. Adi had promptly tossed her notes towards my desk and taken to skidding across the hardwood floors, whilst I had all but thrown myself over the back of the settee.

Adi made it there first, even in her heavy docs, and claimed the windowsill with an unnecessary amount of arrogance. She grinned primly at me as I reluctantly slowed my approach, leaving me to lean in close so that we could both try and get a good look in.

But from this angle, there was practically no use. I craned my neck as far as my torso would willingly allow me and could only just make out the tail-end of a sleek car parked up on the curb. I assumed that meant Healy had arrived.

"Can you see anything?" Came Adi's impatient voice, a hushed whisper even though we were three flights up.

"No." I grunted back, "Your fat head's in the way."

Ads scoffed at me and I didn't have to look at her to know that she was now glaring up at me. I grinned.

"My head is perfectly sized, thank you! But seeing as we’re on the topic of abnormalities, you're practically half giraf-”

Adi immediately cut her snide comment short when a loud voice suddenly trumped the usual roaring noise that went hand in hand with the large city that was London.

"Right my!" We heard.

The voice was sharp and irritated, fuelled by an obvious anger, and soon trailed off into a muffled grit.

Adi's head snapped back to the window at the very sound of it, whilst I couldn't help but question just how exactly she’d managed to contort her body in the way she had, long legs tucked up beside her as she pressed her torso against the glass to listen closer.

The voice rang out again, sharper this time, and my eyes shot down to meet Adi’s own.

In return, she gifted me a catty side eye- obviously enraptured by the sudden drama that had seemingly been handed to us- and I could do nothing but shrug at her in response, somewhat baffled.

I pulled away slowly when the voices didn't seem ready to rise again, and silently wished that I could've been a fly on the wall during a conversation like that.

Clasping Adi's wrist, I gently tugged her away. "Come on, you best get down there before things go sideways and we end up on the backend of it all."

"Me?!" Adi crowed back, her eyes wide in alarm as she let me drag her back from the windowsill. "Why not you?"

My face scrunched up at the very thought.

"Ah go on, Ads. Please! You're so good with shit like this, can charm your way out of practically anything."

She narrowed her eyes in response. "I know what you're doing."

I pursed my lips together in an attempt to keep up the innocent act, already feeling a grin cropping up. “Is it working? ‘Cause we both know you’re the sweetest talker around, Wells. Could talk your way out of police custody, you like.”

Adi clucked her tongue but moved to cross the loft. “Yeah, yeah. But we both know you’re just being a coward! What, you really aren't ready to face him yet?”

I was swift to spin around on my heel to hide the truth my expression conveyed, and ignored the question altogether as I headed back towards the booth. I also pretended not to hear the cow’s delighted cackles as she began to descend the staircase.

"Just make sure the camera's are rolling before I get back! And wish me luck!"

"Luck!" I called out loudly over my shoulder before unplugging the fan and then storing it away. She was definitely going to need it.

I busied myself with the last of my tasks afterwards, an odd feeling of anxiety welling in my chest as I went through the usual motions.

It was strange for me to linger too long on thoughts of nervousness, because I usually had too much going on in other aspects of my life. Making things a little too difficult to concentrate on the many things that could possibly go wrong.

This time around though, we weren’t dealing with the usual up and coming artist, new to the industry and overwhelmingly pleased to be invited on. No, this time we’d practically been fed to the sharks.

Because, of all the possible people, we’d just had to have landed Matty Healy.

I started to question it all again. How exactly I'd gotten myself wrapped up in a mess this big in the first place and only hoped that Adi fared alright with dealing with Healy on her own for a while.

Maybe it had been cowardly of me to send her in first but I really didn’t think I could face him just yet, seeing as it had been me that had set off the pyramid of fireworks that had seemingly burned a hole in his life.

A dull vibration pulsed in my back pocket, breaking me from my train of thought, and I found that I was very much thankful for the sudden distraction it offered.

Messages now Finnleyyy Just got back to the gallery, Teds was fine when I dropped him off! If the show goes on any later feel free to message me and I'll pick him up x

I smiled down at the message.

At least that was one less thing I had to worry about, Teddy was safe and well, already settled in at the local nursery and in all honesty, I truly didn't know where I'd be without Finn, especially on days like these.

I was quick to fire back a text full of appreciation before I slipped the phone back into my pocket.

It was just as I had finished clearing up the rest of the studio that I heard a sudden rush of voices trail up the stairwell, and stilled at the very sound.

It was Adi’s voice which carried the furthest and so I ran my teeth along my bottom lip before ultimately deciding that running and hiding was my best bet. So I shot across the loft floor and into the recording booth to stow myself away.

Adi didn’t give me the chance to worry excessively over every little detail that could go wrong as the group of visitors grew marginally closer. So to keep myself busy for a minute or two, or to rather calm my erratic heart, I chose to fiddle with the last of the cameras that had been set up.

I felt, more than heard, the moment they passed the top of the stairwell as the wooden floorboards of the studio tended to creak beneath added weight.

It was pretty much impossible to hear what was being said on the other side of the recording booth though, due to its soundproof walls, but that tiny fact didn’t stop me from practically sealing myself against the door in an attempt to decipher the perfect moment for me to intervene on the situation outside.

For days I’d been practically driving myself stir crazy over all of this, I knew that I just needed to get it over and done with, save myself the stress before I brought another headache on. Because I could do this, he was just some guy. Famous or not.

So with a final albeit shaky breath, I braced myself and opened up the door.

Thankfully, I was almost instantly met by the comforting sound of Adi's voice.

“Ah, there she is! Was wondering when you’d show your mug. Fancy a cuppa, babe? Fixing up a few.”

“Please.” I breathed out a sigh and dragged a hand through my hair as I wandered towards the kitchenette, catching sight of the two bodies currently commandeering our tiny seating area.

I focused on the man sitting closest and the first thing I noticed about him was the sleek haircut he’d styled, it was clipped closely at the sides but left long on top to keep the thinning hairs going in one direction. He was different from what I’d expected, but not just because he was older, he also wore this brilliant smile when he moved to peer up at me, sincere enough that I felt my doubts ebb as I smiled back, taking in the rest of him and his fine fitting clothes which seemed to suit him well.

I dipped my head in a silent hello before my gaze flickered over towards our remaining guest.

It shouldn’t have felt as shocking as it did to finally set eyes on Matty Healy in person, not after all of the thorough planning I’d put into his very visit. But it was strangely surprising to bare witness to the way his lithe body was currently perched on the edge of our shabby armchair, the very same Adi, Finn and I had dragged back from the secondhand shop further up the main road. It felt wrong almost, having someone so obviously used to a certain luxury sat in the tatty thing.

I pulled my mind away from that last thought and focused on how I couldn't quite seem to tear my eyes away from the way Healy’s frame folded in on itself slightly, legs jutted out wide, elbows pressed against knees, and his chin cocked high. The guy’s overall stance was oddly domineering for someone so wraithlike, with hollowed cheeks and an aristocratic smile. It made him that much harder to read.

Healy’s own eyes were also hidden, so I couldn't make out the line of his gaze. Disguised behind a dark pair of glasses that I could only supposed cost more than what I’d make in two, maybe three months.

The question of what Healy might've first thought upon seeing me and the way I’d drowned myself in the oversized band tee I’d chosen that morning crossed my mind. But I was simply just thankful for the fact that I’d forgotten my knitted cardi somewhere behind me in the recording booth. Silently wishing that I had the balls, as well as the body, to pull off the outfits Adi liked to wear.

"Hiya." I finally greeted them, forcing myself to smile as I extended a polite hand outwards. "It's great to meet you both."

Even with the dark shades on, I easily spotted the way Healy's brows lifted in reply before he- rather reluctantly- clasped his own hand in mine.

I swallowed back the strained smile I wanted to give him in return and focused instead on the shake. Healy’s hands were apt, fingers long and slender, skin much softer than it should’ve been for any musician, and his knuckles prominent but wrist almost dainty. He was a juxtaposition if I’d ever seen one.

He was the first to pull away.

“Likewise.”

My jaw ticked at Healy’s sarky tone but I didn’t let it deter me. Staying professional, I turned to offer the same sentiment to his accomplice.

“I’m Mouse, by the way. It’s lovely to have you both. Hope you got here okay.”

The other man was much merrier than Healy, practically a total contrast actually, and he showed it in the joyful way he shook my hand, still smiling away.

“You know London traffic.” He replied around a low chuckle and let our hands fall, “Lovely to be here though. I’m Matty’s manager, Jamie.”

I smiled as I nodded in remembrance.

“Got to say, I really love what you two have done with this place. Skylight’s incredible.” Jamie added and I grinned before settling into the adjacent sofa, leaving plenty of space for Adi to take.

“You saw that? But yeah, I honestly think it’s the only reason we were so sold on this particular building- ‘cause the stairs are killer.”

“I can see why! I’m dying to have something like that back at mine, but the conservatory will have to do for now.” Jamie enthused and stood up when Adi strode on over.

Skillfully, the man helped guide the wooden tray Ads had been carrying towards the coffee table and smiled when she thanked him for his efforts, the image of a perfect gentleman.

“Thanks, Ads.” I breathed out in appreciation when the girl handed me my usual milky brew, then took a quick sip.

Someone snorted as I did and my eyes instantly flew over to discover that the sound had been made by Healy, because of course.

He seemed all too amused by something and, from the way his body was still angled towards me, I could only assume that it was down to something I'd done.

I blinked in confusion before I moved to raise my mug high above my head, reading the large, industrialised font that covered the bottom of the cup. Cunt.

The studio was probably the furthest thing from a professional setting, we’d always wanted the entire space to feel comfortable, safe even. But this was supposed to be our big break and so we had been trying to convey it as though it was. But here Adi was dishing out the gag gifts Finn had bestowed upon the loft last Christmas like it was a regular Tuesday.

Still, with a shake of my head, I couldn’t quite bring myself to dim my grudging grin as I shot a narrow eyed glare Adi’s way.

"Ta for that." I voiced with a light chortle and tipped the mug at her in false cheers, before my eyes then flittered over towards Jamie, who had since stifled his own amusement in favour of taking a slow sip of his own brew. And ah, yeah, there was the matching mug.

Healy laughed to himself in the little corner he’d created and I caught the way he subtly surveyed his own cup, out of the corner of my eye, just in case Adi had got him too.

Somehow he’d managed to avoid that particular jest and I knew that the only thing Healy really had to worry about now was if there was a secret dirty message waiting for him once he’d finally polished off his drink.

"What can I say? The mugs, they do not lie." Adi jeered, a mischievous glint in her eye before she turned her head back towards the two visitors. "See you've met our wonderful Mouse then! Ain't she a looker?"

I grimaced away from the hand that reached out to grab at my chin and silently questioned what I'd done to suddenly be on the deserving end of all her taunts.

Jamie laughed at the pair of us, but even with it, I didn't miss Healy's quiet hum or the way he was now seemingly more interested in the contents of his cup than the current conversation.

"Quite. We were actually just talking about you on the way up here, mate." Jamie divulged and I dragged my attention back towards the man, eyebrows lifting.

"Only good things, I hope." I replied, somewhat uncomfortably, but smiling lightly at Jamie before I managed to catch Adi's eye.

Ads simply waved me off. "Of course! They were interested in the show- how it started and what not." She told me and I nodded, mostly to myself as I relaxed further into the settee.

"Oh, well yeah, we've been around a while now."

"Adi mentioned that you were just a kid when you started out, sounds mad putting it like that." Jamie pondered, appearing quite intrigued by the topic. "How did this all come about then?"

Usually, I liked to skirt around this particular subject, wanting to dive straight into the work and forgo most of the small talk, but I caught the way Jamie’s eyes darted around our quaint little studio. He wasn’t just asking for the sake of it.

"If I'm being truly honest, a lot of stuff happened all at once." I revealed with a soft chuckle, but it lacked any of the mirth I was aiming for as I thought back to my second year of university, the year everything had quite literally turned on its head.

"I was in between jobs and my best mate suggested that I take the Twitter account I already had and turn it into something with a bigger presence. At the time, I had nothing left to lose so I just went for it."

At least, that was the shortened version of it. I’d skipped the mental breakdown, the almost losing my flat, and the birth of my child for the sake of not looking like a total psycho.

Jamie looked impressed or, at the very least, understanding as he nodded along to my words.

"Can't say I regret it now though." I had to tack on and smiled before attempting to trail my way onto a more formal topic. "I got your list by the way- what not to ask and all that. Think one of your lot emailed it to me earlier in the week. But I just wanted to let you both know-”

I let my eyes flit over towards Healy for a brief moment before they settled back on Jamie.

"That you don't have to worry about any of that whilst you're here. We want things to be relaxed, comfortable. I know your team was adamant on everything being a bit more structured, following the lines of an actual interview, but we don't do much of that around here. So I hope you're happy with just having a simple sit down."

"Like this?" Came a reply and I had to pause for a second before realising where the question had come from. Or who, rather.

I settled my mug down on my thigh, loosely supporting it with my hand, and looked over in the direction of Healy.

"A bit, yeah." I confirmed with an incline of my head, "That alright with you?"

The singer was silent for a long second and I couldn't help but take the opportune moment he gave to simply admire the way his fingers had wrapped themselves around his mug, mindlessly tapping away to a hollow tune.

Just when it appeared as though the silence had stretched on a beat too long, and Jamie had begun to shuffle forward ever so slightly in his seat, did Healy finally reply.

"If it's just you, then yes."

I tried not to let the reaction of how I really felt flash across my face then as I stared back at the man opposite.

From the corner of my eye, I could see the way Adi's lips had pursed unhappily in retort and how Jamie’s expression had hardened into a somewhat steely glare, desperate for Matty to spare a glance his way. Probably to scold him for being so painfully rude. But Healy, to my utter disbelief, kept his head firmly fixed towards me, even as he pushed the dark sunglasses he wore up into his curly hair.

It almost felt like we were in a stare off with the way I watched him for any tell that would surely give him away, slowly considering the proposition and not caring to cover up the way I could now stare into the other man’s dark brown eyes unabashedly.

From where I was sat, I could only just make out the darkened circles that rested beneath Healy’s pupils, as well as the red line that rimmed them. Their colour was far from unusual, brown, but his were not something you saw very often, they drew you in, kept you trapped. They harboured a multitude of other colours that blended ruthlessly into an array of raw umber.

As magnetising as they may have felt though, I found that I was mostly grateful to see that Healy’s pupils were of a normal size. The only thing I wanted to question were the walls that were so obviously barricaded behind them, giving me absolutely nothing in return.

"Just me?"

Healy simply stared back.

I couldn’t look Adi’s way when I finally answered the request, simply hoping that she would somehow understand. This felt too much like a test to say anything other than, “Alright. If that’s what you’d prefer.”

I moved to push my mug onto the corner of the coffee table, allowing myself a seconds release from his stare.

“But Adi often controls what goes on behind the scenes when we record, so it’ll be harder without her there, especially with all the cameras.” I explained carefully.

"Look, just hang on a second-" Jamie tried, obviously wanting to defuse the situation, but was ultimately cut off by Healy. It honestly felt as though the man believed neither Jamie nor Adi were a part of the conversation any longer.

"Can you do it?"

His tone was almost challenging, the four words fell from his wicked tongue like a dare.

"Not the type to back down." Was all I could think to retort, my hardened gaze once again zeroed in on Healy's own.

***

The recording booth was smaller than he’d expected. A table sat in the very centre, surrounded by a swarm of cameras and microphones, all of which seemed to be connected to a variety of wires Matty could hardly even bring himself to be cautious of as he stepped past.

The table hosted an array of tech though, from computers and mixing boards to monitors and speakers. None of which Matty was the least bit interested in either.

Three of the four walls were lined with acoustic foam panels, one’s you’d typically find in booths, while the last had been turned into a mural of sorts.

The mural was dark and edgy, a string of trees sprouted up from the ground and swept across the expanse of it, its branches winding upwards only to entangle in one another. A common field mouse sat crouched in between the trunks of the trees, its big eyes shining as it met Matty’s stare head-on. The walls centre held the name of the radio show and at first glance it looked as though it had been printed on one of those acrylic neon signs, but it was actually just extremely detailed.

Matty had to blink once or twice before he was finally able to look away.

"Who's work?" He found himself asking, filling the silence that had settled upon the closing of the booth's door. He jutted his chin out towards the far wall, sparing the art one last glance before he gave the girl his full focus.

Her eyes flitted up to meet his own before they sailed across to the mural.

"A friend." Was all she replied, but her voice had softened a touch now that it was just the two of them, Matty noted.

She offered nothing more than that and so Matty took it for what it was, nodding his quiet assent.

"Do you have anything in particular you'd like to talk about whilst you're here?" Mouse asked him as she clicked away at the computer, he felt strange using the name, even if it was just in his own head. "We've got a good hour or so before Adi comes snooping."

"I've got a million things I'd like to say," Matty let slip as he trailed on closer to the table, then forced a sardonic smile. "But I'm not particularly in the mood for a good tongue lashing today."

She looked slightly startled by his dry joke and Matty found himself having to hold back a smirk as he rounded the desk, fingertips gliding across the table's smooth surface.

"What about you, then?" He posed, not wanting to stunt their talk just as it had begun. Somewhat intrigued now. "Got anything you'd like to get off your chest for millions of people to hear?"

It was sarky, but when was he not? Though if he was being honest, Matty just found that he wanted to hear the girl talk, because for some reason he enjoyed listening to her. Her gentle accent had obviously been weakened during the time she'd spent in London but Matty enjoyed its easy lilt. It was almost soothing. He wondered where she was from, but didn't ask.

Mouse snorted, shaking her head. "Wouldn't quite say millions, a couple thousand at best."

Matty felt his eyebrows raise as he spared another glance over at her, thinking back to those eyes that had held his so solemnly. "What, even with me here?"

He was teasing, but her eyes widened briefly as though she feared she had offended him, but as mentioned, it was only a brief flicker before a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see how loyal your fans truly are, Healy."

"Guess so." Matty mocked.

***

The show had gotten off to a rocky start. I had been all too aware of the surrounding cameras and the way the menacing rockstar, sat centimetres away from me, liked to keep his stare fixed firmly on me at all times, following my each and every movement.

I couldn't quite help the way I shifted uncomfortably every time I looked up and caught Healy's eye either, or the way I’d chosen to angle my face away from the cameras to avoid looking directly into any lenses.

I was dead crap when it came down to things like this. It all became too much, the pressure to entertain, to pretend that I was fine, that I was comfortable in my own skin, to chat away like there weren't already a thousand eyes studying my every flaw.

Look, give me a microphone and any sodding topic that either pissed me off or positively enthralled me and I'd be happy to rant the ears off of any nutter willing to listen. But in scenarios such as these, I always felt slightly on edge. Teetering on the verge of falling right on over it.

‘Cause I knew what people saw when they looked at me. I was all too familiar with the pitying glance I often got spared, as well as the grimaces people couldn’t seem to hide when they walked by.

I’d had to deal with it for years. Ever since I was a kid.

And upon hearing that, anyone would probably figure that I might’ve gotten used to all the gawking by now, especially with a toddler constantly keeping me on my toes. But ultimately my son’s presence often appeared to exaggerate the mixed reactions I received.

In truth, I’d never really been given the time to come to terms with the scars that marred my body, my face. The white lines that spoiled the features underneath.

So claiming it to be a rocky start, would only put a dent about the size of a pea into the way I was currently feeling!

Healy was rather unhelpful too, just as I’d predicted. He seemed to almost get off on watching me writhe under his leer and his answers to the questions or topics brought up were half-hearted at best.

Really, I was beginning to doubt the way in which I’d figured this entire mess would end.

It was only supposed to be a quick and easy chat, the two of us sat there gossiping like old mates, proving to the rest of the world that there really was no animosity or underlying conspiracies to this whole setup. When in actuality, that really wasn't the case.

Time and time again I found myself questioning why exactly Healy had even bothered to come, why he had even agreed to the whole ordeal in the first place. Especially when he was so apathetic with his replies.

"So," I trailed off, somewhat desperate to save what was left of the segment- for my sake at the very least. I didn't even want to think of what sort of issues this would cause for the show. "Music! I mean, from an outsider's point of view, we never really got the whole backstory on how you and the rest of the band really met. I mean, you’ve said you started it in secondary school, but you yourself were kind of pushed into the limelight at a really young age, so how did you and the guys connect?”

Healy tensed at that particular question, his shoulders forming a more rigid line as his gaze flickered away from me for only the briefest of seconds before it returned, but it was enough to alert me to the fact that I was treading into murky waters. I tried to backtrack.

"But in all honesty, what I really want to know about are all the sordid details, life after all that crap, the answers to the things people never think to ask. Like, I've seen pictures of your clearly extensive guitar collection all over your Instagram feed, you must have a favourite!"

Matty's lips curled into something which almost resembled a smile then and it honest to God threw me through a loop. A metaphorical loop, of course, I wasn't quite sure if we could fit any sort of loop-like shape into a space this small.

But I was letting myself get sidetracked and couldn't help but question whether that was the sort of thing Healy typically thrived off of. He’d smiled, and nothing wicked or sarky had tinged it, it’d been a genuine smile. And I had to blink just to make sure my eyes hadn't been playing tricks on me as Healy edged forward in his seat, a coy grin now dancing at the corners of his muted pink lips.

"A favourite? Now that's the question to ask! Honestly? It'll have to be the '63 Jazzmaster I've got. It’s wicked, used by the Ramones on their debut album and then by David Byrne on early Syre demos. So it’s seen quite a bit."

After that, I just sat there. Stunned as Healy continued to rant about this poxy guitar he was so obviously smitten with and couldn't help but be utterly captivated by each and every word that slipped from his mouth.

Apparently all I had ever needed to get past the games and ginormous walls Healy had defensively built around himself was to simply be myself. Ask the questions that maybe only I wanted to know the answers to.

See, I wasn't the biggest people person but I figured myself to be somewhat of a skilful conversationalist. What with my past, I’d kind of had to force myself to be. But I was glad to have finally been given an in with Healy, no matter how small. It helped the interview pass by a lot easier.

Although the new spirit Healy adopted after that only seemed to last until nearing the very end of the show.

In truth, I had all but forgotten about the cameras and microphones set up, the fact that people were still listening in, were watching us converse, whilst I simply lost myself in listening to Healy prattle away. Positively enraptured by the way the musician's mind worked as he explained the complexity of a certain riff he adored, or the time he'd pretended to get off in Madison Square Garden- much to the dismay of his PR Team.

"They went absolutely mental when I first proposed it. I'm telling you! Yapping about time and effort, and it being too much for the younger viewers, then the plans that would have to be put into place- all that merry shite. And I’d just been sitting there in these, these skimpy leather trousers, quietly debating over when, or if I'd ever, get the feeling back in my legs. And don't even get me started on my knob. I mean, it must've shrivelled up and die- hang on, I can say knob, right? On air?"

Looking at him in that moment, forgetting everything I already knew, it was like I was seeing this whole other person. Someone who wasn't so confrontational, so quick to defend, or easy to recoil.

It was clear, to me at least, that Healy wasn't the image the media painted of him, he was simply human. A troubled man who truly loved music, in every sort of variety, and wanted to vocalise and share that love with everyone else. He was eccentric for sure, but sincere.

I could see that, even if it only felt like I'd only been given the tiniest bit of insight into the person Healy so obviously tried to keep concealed.

It wasn't long later when I startled somewhat upon seeing the flashing red light of one of our cameras go off to my left and immediately, I jolted upright in my seat.

"God- crap!" I blurted out stupidly as I grabbed at the headset that had threatened to fall off my head in my sudden haste. "Hold on. Sorry, got really sidetracked there- one of the camera's is telling me it's on its last legs, so we'd best start wrapping this up."

Healy deflated ever so visibly, shrinking back in his seat as he huffed a soundless chuckle.

"Can't seem to stop me once I get going." Healy widened his eyes to emphasise his point and I observed how he had hastily retreated back into himself to haul his guard up again.

I was quick to shake my head. "No, truthfully I can't remember the last time I just got to sit here and listen. It was nice not having to do all the work for once."

Matty licked at his top lip upon hearing that and rewarded me with another mirthful smirk. I realised I'd properly put my foot in it there, stressing over why I’d even worded it like that.

Whilst he chuckled to himself at the picture I must’ve made, I decided my best bet was to hurry on and end the show, reciting what needed to be said before I finally signed off, clicking a button.

It was just as the 'ON AIR' sign above the door went off that Adi barged straight through the entrance, gracing us with her wonderful presence. Jamie was just behind her, peeking his head around the doorframe.

"Well I think I can say that that went as well as it could’ve!" He announced, coming to a standstill by Matty as he clapped his client heartily on the back. "Well done, Matt. You as well, Mouse."

"Appreciate it." I smiled up at him before tugging off my headphones and pushing away the mic.

With all four of us now crowded into the makeshift room, the booth suddenly felt a lot smaller than it usually did, and so I tried my best to disguise the way my body immediately reacted to the realisation.

"I'm in dire need of a fag though. Will you be alright tidying up in here, Ads?" I announced as I pulled myself up onto my feet, already beginning to shuffle towards the exit. I picked up the cardigan I'd left on the back of one of the chairs as I went, using it as a shield almost.

"Yeah, of course. Glasses here wanted to discuss one more thing before they made a move anyway."

I shot an arched brow at the man in question but Jamie waved my curiosity off. "Nothing too detailed. Just some forms that need signing."

I didn't much like the part of the arrangement that came after recording, but with an understanding ‘Ah’, I forced myself to ask, "Erm, don't suppose you need me to stick around for any of that do you?"

"Nah," Jamie laughed lightly, "Go on, you're all good."

I smiled, silently praising the stars above as I nodded once and resumed my exit, tugging the cardi on as I hastily made my way over to the fire escape.

Praying that our luck hadn’t run out just yet, I hoped that no one else was up on the roof waiting for me when I pulled my feet up the rickety metal staircase. It was just about the last thing I needed at that moment.

I already had my lighter in hand by the time I'd made it over to our little makeshift patio we’d created, which consisted of a few wooden pallets and a couple of large cushions that overlooked the neighbouring buildings.

It wasn't much, Islington. It was inner London sure, and had its fair few classier joints to show off, but I much preferred what else it had to offer. Like how the hustle and bustle of the city quietened just as you lost yourself down the backroads. And all the parks that had been scattered in and around the main developments and the dozens and dozens of buildings that were constantly cropping up. How there was a pub on almost every street corner and a Sainsbury's never too far away. I even enjoyed the gentle rattle of the overground, it was all too familiar now. Felt more like home than the Isles ever had.

Looking out across the surrounding rooftops, I wondered again just why my mum had yet to leave our tiny town as I lit a cigarette and lifted the filter to my lips.

The first chance my father ever got he’d gone running for the hills and then me, myself, had upped and left the confines of our small cottage as soon as the offer had presented itself.

It wasn't that the harbour town I'd grown up in had nothing to offer. It had a sense of community, a beautiful shoreline (even in the colder months), and of course, the local rugby team.

But speaking in a manner of careers, well, unless you were breaking out on your own and had the cash to open up a shop on the high-street, then you were probably destined to either work in the local greengrocers, serve behind the village bar, or get a shift down by the docks.

You were lucky if you had a bit more meat on your bones though, because then you also had the added opportunity of getting an offer to start laying bricks for one of the few building companies. Most of which were family based.

We had the main school too which housed both primary and secondary kids, and the local college was available if you wanted to further your education. But the closest University campus was a good hundred miles away.

I had applied, but only to lessen the guilt I'd felt towards my mother when I'd started looking for courses available in just about any place apart from home whilst filling out uni apps.

I could still recall the day I’d finally told her I'd be leaving for London. Felt like a lifetime ago now really.

I'd definitely have to call her up again soon, to make sure that she was doing okay, even if it meant that I'd be forced to listen to her rattle on about coming home for Christmas. Again.

I sighed contently to myself and it was just as I flicked away a stump of ash that I heard someone approach.

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zitrovee · 1 year

Text

MH doodles and concepts

First just random fanart

I love sweet water lagoona im sorry shes so cute

Now then those are mostly designs i stopped working on for many reasons and i can barely find good images of them now cause theyre not even on my computer. Maybe i revisit them in the future but who knows

First something i tried together w the beach fan design- literally a gamer inspired line lol called gamer ghouls. i hate how drac turned out but the heart-shaped switch is something cool- i like frankie’s outfit and ghoulia is my fave here. its funny cause something i always think when i make g3 designs is ‘’how can i include drac in this’’ cause realistically my line of thinking is ‘’would these sell’’ and drac sells. i also try to keep in mind materials and how well the items would perform as toys too. drac is hideous here tho. the ghouls drinking monster was super funny in my head

drac in uniform sketch cause why not

this is a rough one. its for g1, i came up w the concept talking to an old friend, bonita and venus were her favorite dolls and i came up with the concept of a cybergoth inspired Bonita doll and a more slick also cyber inspired figure for venus (shes barely sketched there).

we had LOTS of creative differences (i came with a color pallete much, much different from that since i was inspired by cybergoth, focusing on neon and dark colors) and specially after some personal stuff i just gave up. i still like the concept but i cant really stand working with a concept in mind just to realize the other person isnt interested unless its their way. i wish i can revisit her in the future and apply the stuff i actually envisioned for her- but well, so far thats what we got. cant say im happy aside from the silhouette.

some other reaaally rough ideas for the beach line project for g3. i did most of those during my office work lol. those are for ghoulia. for her i wanted to keep in mind her 50s theme from g1 actually cause i love it so much. thats where the glam chill look came from. then i was like eh its nice but new ghoulia is way more rad and sporty so i tried to think of her doing surf (i also have sketches for deuce in surf attire so they would be fun) i have so many of those all over my house cause when g3 was barely launching i was so excited. and so bored at work. so i just got every paper note i could to sketch random ideas lol Also SILLY OC ALERT!!!

This was mostly a joke but i made her thinking of ET Bilu from a brazilian urban legend lol. thinking of her as a scary skinny legend w stereotypical and hilarious proportions common to old MH dolls was what inspired me at first but then also the whole 2012 pop diva look. Shes just a funny little gal. busquem conhecimento!

#monster high #monster high lagoona #monster high g3 #monster high oc #monster high design #monster high fan design #monster high fanart #draculaura #lagoona #doll design #zitro vee sketches #sketch dump

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vrisrezis · 6 months

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omgomgomg would you do satoru, suguru, and shoko taking care of a child. (maybe a random child that they found bc they tend to pick up random children or a bio kid) like have you seen those pov tiktoks like "pov: you got pregnant in collage and now your baby's being raised by college students" or somthing. like i can imagine satosugu teaching (if its a boy) the kid to be a gentlemen and like open the door for auntie shoko! or somthing like that. and if the kid was girl, like keeping her away from the boys "cuz thats what dads do" or smth like that.

INGOOGN TO CRY RN

Tw for child abuse; erm this is a college au but curses and jujutsu sorcerers still exist

- Satoru is the one to find you. At this point in his life, he knows he shouldn’t keep adopting more children. Especially when he’s a teenager. He already has megumi, suguru recently found mimiko and nanako, but the male couldn’t resist. You were littered in bruises and cuts when he found you. You looked no more than three years old. There’s no way he in good conscious could leave you there and not take you for himself. So he crouched down to meet your level, a grin etched his features despite the worry he felt for you. As if he wanted to reassure you.

- he asks you about your parents, and you give him a honest shrug. So he takes you in for now.

- “Satoru…” suguru trails off, seeing yet another child in his arms. However, suguru doesn’t dwell on it, seeing the state you’re in. “Oh jeez…” he trails off, his motherly instincts kicking in as he’s quick to grab shoko to help heal you up.

- even shoko, would show great worry towards you.

- and from then on, you were stuck to those three like glue. Nothing would separate you four. They were stuck with you, you were stuck with them.

- satoru would eventually figure out that your parents were dangerous curse users that seemed to have put you in that weak state, so him and suguru personally went out to see them :)

Now, the parental experience:

- naturally, satoru and suguru have a very different way of raising a child. Suguru raises you to be a upstanding citizen while satoru raises you to be a menace to society. As a result, you will be a very confused little lad for a long time.

- satoru is a clingy dad, spending as much time with you as possible. However, satoru keeps you away from curses energy/curses talk all together. He wants you to experience being a child, since he never really got to.

- satoru introduces you to sweets really quickly (duh), and is a terrible influence cause he is constantly giving you junk food and therefor teaching you bad eating habits

- he also just spoils the hell out of you, so when it comes to you he can never say no to you, so you need to be taught by the others you won’t always get what you want

- satoru teaches you how to be confident, if you’re ever unsure about something he builds you up! But honestly with how much he does and with how over the top he is about it, you’ll probably end up with an ego like his

- satoru also doesn’t see a reason for you to respect your elders and this includes himself, suguru, and shoko. Respect them because they’re good to you, not because they’re authority figures or older than you.

- dresses you up :} you are not going out looking like shit, ever! He is such a diva and therefor you will be too. It’s just the order of things.

- suguru is a loving father as well, but not nearly as clingy as suguru. He lets you have your space, as he knows he needs his every once in awhile.

- suguru had a habit of spoiling you, but he does know he needs to discipline you (unlike satoru) if you do something bad. He’s the stricter of the two but even then he is not very strict.

- suguru tries to teach you good eating habits, good etiquette, and overall being a polite person that does things for others.

- while suguru believes confidence is a good thing for you to have, and he certainly uplifts you when you feel insecure, satoru is way more dramatic about it.

- sugurus “of course your big and strong, cute too.” vs satorus “you’re a god compared to them, don’t let those dirty rags get to you.”

- suguru ofc wants you to respect your elders too so he’s actually very strict about this. He will not budge on it, satoru shut up.

- suguru helps you with hygiene a lot since you’re still very little and your old family didn’t really teach you. He helps with ur hair and brushing ur teeth and showering heehee

- also can I say they are both so supportive of uuu

- like , your four years old , you are a little boy , you want to cosplay peach ? Zelda ? No problem they’re both so supportive of it

- no makeup tho ur too young

- born a girl ? Wanna wear boyish clothes? Totally fine they also don’t care

- either way tho satoru plays Barbie with u

- so does suguru but satoru plays more bc he is a #barbiegirl

- suguru is more into bratz tbh

- ofc they’re supportive of longer hair and other things too ! :D they love u

- satoru does encourage violence but only when it’s necessary ok . Fight back . Don’t start fights tho. (Secretly tho he’s telling u to start fights, it would be funny)

- suguru yells at him everytime tho

- satoru tends to be affectionate through gift giving, as he’s very bad with expressing his love through his words. Suguru is the opposite. While of course he likes to buy you things he doesn’t nearly as much as satoru, sugurus love often expressed through his vocal cords.

- aunt shoko is a fun aunt can I just say?

- your parents are so protective even if they are chill, so having your even chiller aunt shoko around is amazing

- you can talk to her about anything cuz she won’t rat you out to your dads, she won’t get mad at you, she’s just so understanding

- plus it always helps she has banger advice.

- she also knows how to take care of you a lot better when you’re a lot younger, like satosugu don’t know what they’re doing at first lmao

- shoko helping you with any boo boo’s :,(

- satoru has a habit of buying you two matching clothes so to piss him off shoko buys you clothes to match with her and he’s like >:(

- shoko NEVER smokes around you, in fact you probably don’t even know she does it

- she likes doing your hair

- when you get old enough though she is gonna be the reason you smoke your first blunt just sayin

- she kinda just starts being mama shoko instead of aunt shoko but … u didn’t hear that from me

- she helps you learn a lot of school shit since obviously given the financial situation, satosugu can’t take you into school right away, but shoko is there to help you learn for the time being :)

- doesn’t matter if your a boy she’s giving you a little pink bow to wear

- she likes just being a cool aunt ok

- anyways these 3 r soo good to u they will kill anyone that hurts u

#suguru x reader #geto x reader #geto x you #geto x y/n #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #shoko x reader #shoko x you

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eddiesxangel · 4 days

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OH MY GOD ITS ME IM THE NONNIE 💄

i think about them all the time! their careers, their two girls, just what their life is like!

EEEEEE ILY

They both took a little break to raise the baby, who I believe I named Lila Rose? ( I tried finding the original post but couldn’t) She is a real mix of the both of you. She’s bubbly and active and loooooooves sports which throws you and Eddie for a loop bc mother of you are athletically inclined. You think it’s her grandpas influence bc she would watch baseball with him when he came to help when she was first born. He would prop her up on him while they both sat in his chair and watched the games. She also LOVES her big sister and her big sister LOVES her. She wants to be just like her.

Speaking of Violet Rose, she is much much better. She got into modelling just like her biological mother. VR reached out and wanted to know more about that side of the family. They have a cordial relationship but Poppy will forever be her mom. 🥺 She’s also an LGBTQ + icon and She’s dating a girlypop named Brina and is in looooooooove. They will probably get married.

But back to the main characters. Eddie is still so obsessed with Angel. Especially during pregnancy (talk about breeding kink he didn’t know he had) he LOVED watching you grow the baby. He didn’t let you do anything and you kind got annoyed with him bc damn. Eventually he lightened up and let you do things but also you used it slightly to your advantage. Especially the foot rubs.

Once you had little Lila Rose he fell even more in love with you. Watching you become a mom?! talk about boner alert. 🚨🚨🚨

You and Eddie also have worked on a bunch of music together. Not a collaboration bc your music styles are waaaaaaaaay too different but you are each others muses so the BOPS you produce are 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

Corroded Coffin got a Vegas residency for a few months so you and him and your toddler move (VR is living on her own at this point) and it’s fun but you eventually got back to LA in the new house you and Eddie bought together. It’s your favourite place to be.

Eddie also bought a new house in Italy that isn’t tainted. It’s in a completely different city but on the coast and Lila Rose loves the private jet, she’s such a diva about it but it’s too cute bc she’s only 2.

I really should write a little blurb about the honeymoon bc you know they’re FILTHY 😪😫

#tj’s mailbox #Wildflower #wildflower lore #rocstar!eddie x pop!princess #💄 anon #eddie munson x reader #Eddie Munson x you

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erial-c · 19 days

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my top ten redacted boys (because i am but a bandwagoner of trends)

1. sam - took me a bit to like him ( haven't even finished his playlist yet) but god his character hurts me, he and darlin have gone through so much shit . the video talking about the future with your vampire mate basically sealed the deal on him being my favorite character, and after reading one of the bright eyes series transcripts, it makes me even more interested in his character . (and his southern accent may or may not have awakened something in me)

2. avior - is it obvious i like tragic characters yet . his series is one of the first ones i've listened to fully, and the chokehold that the plot twist had on me was insane . the realization that he had loved starlight so much that he deus ex machina'd them out of the hellscape, and then was silently YEARNING when they were pulled back . i was sobbing you don't understand officer. also love his early sarcastic personality (despite it being a facade) and his constant need to wax poetic, i wish we still saw a little bit of that in his newer audios though

3. guy - ohh the love of my life . the only comfort character ever . babygirl . he does exude millennial cringe sometimes but i can gloss over all that because i love him 🫶🫶🫶 also love his dynamic with honey they r so cute together . his flashback audio is so good AUGGHH the tension . personal favorite audio of him though is his first sick video , because i am THE guy angst enthusiast and it's the closest i'll ever get to it . he is sooo silly idc i always binge his playlist when i can't sleep (ironically i always listen to the one where he attempts to help honey sleep and it works 🫶)

4. lasko - babygirl #2 🤞🤞🤞 love him he is just an overall sweet character . i've also said this before but, him being labelled early on as submissive irked me because i usually found those character tropes annoying and they tended to be infantilized . but the thing is with lasko its not his entire characterization , he's still a very good professor at the academy and ughhhqhh i know how 2explain it i jst love him (also. his slip up in the hot boi summer audio. he is freaky .)

5. geordi - his and cutie's story is so interesting . i love their storyline so much even if it hurts to listen to the audios . they're both flawed characters in a relationship but they're still taking the necessary steps to be better. additionally, while i definitely don't stand for the shit cutie did, i can relate to them in the sense of needing to know what people are thinking to function properly, which is probably another reason why geordi and his storyline hits so close to my heart . (is that corny. maybe)

6. asher - one of the reasons im in the fandom tbh !! he's one of the first characters i got into, specifically his valenweek flashback audio i ate that shit up . . i don't listen to him that much now but still !!! i owe me being here to his character lol

7. hush - creature/babygirl . i was kinda intimidated to listen to his playlist (for god's sake his title is "mysterious stranger") but ohhhh i love him he is so strange. tying doc up in one video and then asking them to hold his hand a few videos later??? love that . him showing up in carpe deus and fucking wrecking vega kinda sealed it for me . love theorizing about him too, if that's not obvious 🫶

8. porter - when i heard the voice that this character had. i can't even explain to you what my reaction was . he's such a fucking diva i love it so much , this guy is like 80% snark, and he just fucks with vincent for no reason .(when he said he was gonna bring treasure to the summit but didn't 😭) he's also so interesting . while ya he was sent to go to the summit and assassinate a clan king (which he succeeded in) he told sweetheart about the bennets discussing their partnership with closeknit so they could get necessary info, he provided an alibi for vincent, he also stopped grilling sam when darlin told him to . (also his 2nd video with treasure . killed me tbh)

9. marcus - not proud to admit that marcus is the first character i came across on erik's channel . marcus is weirdo number 1 (derogatory) and i just find his storyline so interesting. yeah its sad why he did what he did, but overall he knew what he was doing , he fucked everyone else over, and compromised a project, of which the failure could mean life and death, just because he wanted to get freaky with the robot . his obsession and little impulse control being overrun by the asset's obsession with him. GOD . . the satisfaction i felt when he was taken away 🫶

10. caller - weirdo (compliment) . again as a horror enthusiast i love this guy . he's like ghostface but if ghostface could phase through walls/was already in your house (and also weird and obsessive) . his audio made me have the same reaction when watching horror content : "holy shit i love this but also i hate this" 10/10 . he's only last because he has one (1) video . 💔

honorable mention:

gavin - GAVIN LOVE OF MY LIFFEEEE . i really did wanna put him on my list but i haven't listened to the freelancer series properly yet!!!! this is not a matter of him being my least favorite but rather not knowing much about him in depth yet !!!!

#this took way to long #but i had to #i have a few hot takes #because i am interested in the weird characters #is it obvious #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted fandom

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princesssmars · 1 year

Text

free love all around

a makidrey x reader

its valentines day at constance billard, and your best friend knows just the way to make it even more special.

wc: 4.337 (wtf)

contains: fluff. polyamory. steamy makeout(s?) at the end. reader described having hair and being shorter than max. max is a little shit and audrey is confused about her sexuality but intrigued. aki bein cute and schemey. this is just a bisexual disaster.

a/n: them. just them. i started this in early 2021 (embarrassing) when aki pissed me off but i warmed up to him more in the beginning episodes of season two so triad x reader! too bad they all pissed me off in this season but On This Page Canon Means Nothing. i just finished 75% of this in a day so so if it seems wonky im sorry.

knock knock knock knock knock.

a loud sigh makes its way from the heap of covers in the middle of the bed in the grand bedroom. this little routine max loved happened nearly every damn week and god if it didnt annoy you every time-

knock knock knock knock knock.

you let out a long groan this time, muffling the sound of the door opening and the footsteps quickly making their way toward your bed, and just as you're about to reluctantly leave the comfort of where you sleep a giant weight plops on top of you.

"y'know i was about to berate you for sleeping in later but im actually feeling pretty comfy now."

"get off of me." you grumble, pushing your knees and arms forward to try to push your best friend off of you, making him laugh in the process.

"only if you get up." he moves his body to face you, his piercing blue eyes looking into yours.

your heart beats irregularly.

"ok fine, just move" you sigh.

he smiles victoriously, letting out a small giggle and rolling over on your bed, giving you the reluctant freedom to get up and start your day.

you move to your closet, look through your picked outfits and choose the one you feel would work for today before you move to your bathroom to wash up. until you see max get up from the bed.

"don't even think about it." you warn.

his eyes widen and the corner of his mouth quirks up slightly, showing how he thinks hes so hilarious.

“hurry up then, i need your help with something.”

you take a quick shower and put on your outfit and makeup, max’s foreboding words stuck in your mind and nearly making you poke your eye. it wasn't often that max let you in on one of his schemes, but when he did you knew your life was going to get very interesting for a few weeks.

“alright, what are you planning this time?” you ask, exiting the bathroom and grabbing your jacket and bag for school. max is already at the door, taking your hand in his as he leads you down the steps and out of your house. but not before you both say goodbye to your grandmother, who’s all sweet smiles in the mornings and has packed you some valentines themed goodies.

“don’t alright me, l/n. i swear this is finally the plan that you're going to agree with me on,” max holds your bags for you as you browse through something on your phone. once you're finished you make grabby hands for the snacks, looking through it after he quickly hands it to you to see some filled donuts and croissants. popping one in your mouth, you muffle a go-ahead for him to tell you his plan.

“first things first, I cant take all of the credit for this. our sweet little akeno helped, don't give me that look! he can be sneaky when he wants to be. anyway, both of us noticed something about audrey and need your help with it.”

“what have you noticed about her? is she acting like a diva because I'm afraid to admit that's how she’s always gonna be.” you joke, giggling when max rolls his eyes.

“obviously not that. its not about her personality but her..attraction to someone we know,” he states, sending you a pointed look that has you nearly stumbling over yourself. “don’t look so surprised, you definitely knew something was up.”

you stutter, still trying to process this load of information that's been dumped on you. “i-i knew she was being nicer to me, but I just thought she wanted some emotional support other than julien! are you seriously trying to say she has a crush on me?”

”that, my dearest, is what we’re going to find out.” his hand patting your shoulder alerts you to your surroundings, seeing you've already arrived to the crowded entrance of constance billards - st. jude’s.

he still doesn't let your hand go as you walk up to your table, the rest of your friends already sitting down and talking to each other.

“dont act so happy to see us, everybody,” you announce your presence, a collection of small greetings being directed to you.

“that’s five days in a row you’ve been late, y/n. if you need a lesson on punctuality you could always just ask.” money chides, looking at you with her iconic sarcastic smile.

“good morning to you too, money bags.” you joke, laughing along with luna as monet rolls her eyes at your silly nickname for her.

“you two look cozy.” the distinct voice of audrey hope pops up, her eyes pointed towards you and max’s conjoined hands. you hear max laugh under his breath.

deciding to tease her a bit you rush over to her and tightly wrap your arms around her, ignoring her protests so as to not ruin her outfit. “aww, don't get jealous auds. you know you’re my favorite hugging buddy.”

“you’re an idiot.”

“cmon, you know you love me.” you let her go a bit to look at her face, the blonde looking everywhere but at your eyes.

holy shit.

you look to max and aki who are sitting next to each other on one of the benches, the two of them looking at you with knowing expressions.

“did your grandma give you breakfast again? please tell me she made those stuffed donuts that I love.” aki reaches over to grab the bag from your hands, figuring you’ve caught on and will tease audrey some more. his face lights up when he sees the treats, taking a donut and biting out a large chunk.

when it came to audrey, aki was able to tell what she was thinking easily. she couldn't hide the clear distaste on her face when talking to someone she disliked, or the way she always seemed at peace when watching old hollywood movies. his girlfriend was a visually open book, which he regularly used to his advantage. but the one thing he didn't expect audrey to take a clear attraction to was you.

the way her eyes trailed after you when you headed to class, how she would frequently bring you up in conversation. he even noticed how she also did the same with their dear friend max. at first he thought it was jealousy, but now he knows there’s something more behind those eyes. it wasn't until he brought it up with max that they came up with the plan to see just how far they could push audrey until she admitted her not-so-secret feelings.

“dont be do greedy, menzies,” you snatch the bag back from his hands, “yes she made enough for everybody. including some croissants which i know you love, auds.” you say, picking out a croissant and raising it to the blonde girls mouth. she glares at you for a few seconds before leaning in and taking a bite while maintaining eye contact.

“alright I'm out of here. you four are always so weird.” monet gags before rushing from the table to class, the rest of your friends laughing and agreeing before trailing after her.

“and then there were four,” max muttered, wearing his usual smirk and putting his arms around aki and audrey’s shoulders before looking at you. “what ever shall we do now?”

“not whatever you’re planning. ill see you three at lunch,” you say goodbye to the three before heading to class. you would need some alone time to process what just happened and what it meant for your relationship with your best friends.

right after your english literature class with audrey ended, the girl tells you not to wait up for her as the teacher wants to over her last essay with her. walking the short distance into the middle courtyard, you see max and aki already at your table and engaged in normal conversation. walking over, max roughly pulls you into a side embrace, dragging you halfway onto the table.

“if it isn't our little star of the evening,” max gushed, smiling brightly at you.

“its eleven in the morning.”

“just enjoy my compliments, y/n.” ”anyway,” aki butts it, leaning forward to get a better part in the conversation. “thanks for going along with the plan so effortlessly this morning. we were going to take it a bit further tonight.”

they smile at you, aki’s hesitant and max’s borderline devilish.

“oh god what is it now?” you ask, slapping max’s thigh and laughing at his squeal.

“stop doing that! and what dear akeno was going to say was that he wants us to make it look like we're close so audrey gets a little jealous.”

your brows squint in confusion. “but we are close. we’re nearly attached at the hip most of the time?”

“he means make it look like we’re screwing.”

you move to smack max again, but he seems to expect it as he laughs and moves out of your hand's trajectory. you'd gotten used to max’s potty mouth but that didn't mean he could just say things like that in public. especially with this stupid gossip girl thing going around.

“have some class, wolfe.”

“if i did id be a different person, l/n. and we all know you'd miss my charming personality.” he purrs, throwing an arm around your shoulder. he’s really committed to this act, you think, as he looks like he wants to eat you alive. ”i can't believe im saying this but max is right,” aki says, smiling at max’s faux-insulted face, “if there's one thing i know about audrey its that when she feels like she’s missing out on something she will do everything she can to get it. she spent three hours last tuesday looking for a vintage chanel purse that got discontinued almost thirty years ago.”

“she definitely is persistent when she wants to be. which is precisely why this will work if me and y/n shag it up.” max leers. you consider criticizing his choice of words but decide to leave it.

“ok, so we make her jealous, and then what? she figures out her sexuality? what else?” you question.

they both open their mouths to speak but stop, not having thought that far. you can feel yourself slowly losing hope in them before max finally speaks.

“we’ll figure it out when is happens.”

its a few hours later that you’re back at home, getting dressed as you wait for max to come back from his house so you can go to dumbo hall together as the next part of the plan. throughout the whole school day, max had taken his part of the plan very seriously, treating you how he would one of his new flames.

he moved his desk right next to yours in your language class, unsuccessfully trying to persuade the teacher to let him stay and let the two of you work together, he held your hand as he walked you to your final class before pointing out how audrey was staring at your conjoined hands like they were her mortal enemy.

before you got in your lift home, he bid you goodbye with a long kiss right on your cheek, smirking at your shocked expression. you could've sworn you heard an all too familiar scoff and a mass of blonde hair storming in your opposite direction.

knock knock knock.

fixing up the last of your makeup and touching up your hair, you glide over to your bedroom door before opening it. in front of you stands max, wearing a not all the way buttoned up striped silk shirt with white pants and dress shoes. a classic max wolfe get-up but entrancing as always.

you try to ignore his eyes dragging up and down your body, his eyes lingering on your hips and chest before resting on your eyes.

“i don't know it could use a few touch-ups,” max purrs as steps closer to you, your neck having to crane to look up at him, “y’know i wouldn't mind helping you out of that and being a little late.”

“oh shut up, you flirt.” you groan, pushing his smiling face out of your way to head downstairs to your shared lift. max trails after you, hot on your heels as he takes your hand to help you step into the car without flashing someone because of your dress.

the ride there is mostly silent and it surprises you. in a good way. you'd been best friends with max for years now and it seemed like every time you two shared a space you were always talking about something, whether it be his recent sexual adventures or one of your new achievements.

but this silence was…comfortable. he didnt say any other innuendos about your looks, deciding to just sit beside you and look out the window, his left hand slightly brushing your right. you dont say anything when he conjoins your hands together, no cameras around to see you.

you enjoy the prospect of having him in privacy more than you'd like to admit. it takes more of you to admit that it feels like someones something’s missing.

when the car stops outside the building of dumbo, max helps you outside of the car and stays beside you up the elevator to the bar, keeping a pale hand on the bottom of your back as he gently guides you. its quiet again in the elevator unil you get a shared message from aki.

aki : we'll be there soon. gossip girl wont shut up about you two. audrey is 😾. almost done!

you both laugh at his message, all too familiar with audreys signature pout when she's pissed off. you told her once in eighth grade that she looked like a kitten when she did it and she told you to shut up. she's been using the cat emojis since.

“just one more push and audrey will finally join the alphabet alliance.” max laughs.

“did you ever think this would happen?” you ask. “i mean it in the nicest way but auds always seemed like the straightest girl ever.”

“so did i until what happened last summer.” max laughs but cuts himself off, looking like he really didnt want that to slip out.

your brows raise. “what happened last summer?”

“iiii don't know what you're talking about. it was a completely normal day with friends being normal. about each other. yup.”

max wolfe was caught off guard. if it weren't so shocking you would have taken a picture for memory's sake.

“cmon, you can tell me maxie,” you tease, bringing out the pet name you used to call him when you were little.

“nope. mhm. not falling for it.”

before you can question him further the elevator stops on the top floor, the familiar dark yellowish lighting and mingling twenty-somethings welcoming you into the space.

max rushes out of the elevator, trying his best to avoid telling you what happened last summer. in the short walk over to the seating area, you keep your eye on him as he maneuvers over to the bar, hopefully ordering your favorite cocktail. you would need it for the night ahead.

you feel a hand wrap around your wrist before pulling you down onto the couch, your brain stalling as it rushes to comprehend what just happened. thankfully, it's just luna. horribly, it's just luna.

“tell me everything. when did you two hook up? or are you only dating? i really doubt it because your sexual chemistry is through the roof-”

“lune!” you groan, stopping her inquiries as she giggles at you. while you loved luna and went to her for advice often, she really knew how to pry to get you to open up to her.

“we aren't actually together,” you whisper, “its just to help someone figure something out.”

luna’s brow raises. “sounds like a weird favor, but i’ll play along. but be honest with me, when this person figures out whatever it is they need to figure out, are you sure you’l be able to just…go back to normal?”

“yeah, of course, we will.” it takes you a few seconds to answer, and you can tell by the look on the brunette's face that she doesn't believe you.

you're not that sure you believe in yourself either.

a glass of f/c enters your vision and you take it happily, thanking max as he settles on the couch next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder. you try your best to ignore luna’ stare.

it’s a while later that the golden couple makes their appearance. aki looks good as usual, managing to effortlessly loo both adorable and enticing. he looks at you and gives a little smile and wave. it’s so sweet you don't know if those are butterflies in your stomach or plain sickness.

audrey is standing hand in hand with him and god does she take your breath away each time she dolls up. her watching old hollywood movies as a kid and falling in love with the styles that suited her perfectly, the blonde wearing a simple black halter neck gown with a diamond chain necklace. her hair is flowing over her back and shoulders, perfectly framing her face.

she ignores the both of you, flopping down on the couch in front of you and starting up a pointless conversation with julien, whose eyes dart between the four of you.

aki laughs under his breath and sits beside her, all of you struggling not to laugh at her little hmpf as she scoots away from him.

you get in the group chat when he waves his phone in your direction.

max : well she looks cheery

aki : she thinks i knew about the two of you dating and didn't tell her.

y/n : so she's upset with all of us. how do we make her realize she’s got a big fat crush on me if she’s going to avoid me like last season's manolos?

max : i’ve got an idea

as soon as you read the message max grabs your arm with that devious look on his face and announces that you two are going to talk in private. you look to aki who shrugs and audrey who is barely concealing her annoyance.

max takes you across the room and inside a set of doors, pulling them almost all the way shut before he turns to you.

“i’ve got an idea,” he says.

“so I've heard,” you laugh. “did you have to drag me across the whole room to tell me?”

“it was that week at the hamptons.”

your laugh stops. “what are you talking about?”

he sighs. “last summer, that week at the hamptons. we were hanging at the beach and when you came out of the water audrey was staring at you. and then that girl came up and started flirting with you and she was the angriest I've ever seen her.”

your brain takes in what he’s telling you and it helps explain… so much. how in the span of a few hours audrey went from asking you to help her get changed to getting shy when you noticed a birthmark on her ribcage. from asking you constantly when you were going to finally find a cute person to take you out to gagging at every person in your dm’s.

you just wished she would have voiced this to you. you noticed her slight jealousy and just took it as her being protective. you had told her numerous times that she was the only girl in your life, knowing the problems she had with abandonment, always telling her there would be room for her. it breaks your heart to think how she felt knowing you didn't feel the same.

but then there's akeno, your dear friend and audreys boyfriend. it was safe to say everyone - minus monet and maybe obie - had a crush on the pink-haired boy at some point. he was kind and maybe a bit too indecisive, but if you had a problem he was the most level-headed person you knew and he put things into perspective when you needed it. you remember when you came back from a trip thinking everyone had forgotten your birthday only to be surprised by a birthday party thrown by no one other than aki.

“i just wish she would have told me.” you sigh. you look at max’s face to see his mouth in a thin line as he stares at any place in the room but you. “maxie? what’s wrong?”

“god, stop with that nick - you know what, im just gonna say it. i only notice audrey was staring at you because i was. i mean, you do realize you’re fucking gorgeous, right? we really should have expected this. the friends to lovers thing is pretty played out but i thought i would wait it out long enough to-”

max’s rambling is abruptly cut off when you grab the back of his head and bring his lips to yours. it takes him a few seconds to realize what's happening before he kisses back, but when he does… you’d heard talk from boys and girls around school about the skill of max wolfe’s mouth but you had no idea it could feel as good as this.

it was both desperate but sweet, the kiss of two people who were long overdue to indulge in each other this way. its not long into it that his mouth prods yours open, his tongue meeting yours when you do so willingly. the suddenness and intensity of the kiss makes you dizzy, your hands blindly coming up to pull harshly at the brunette's hair. he moans into the kiss, slightly pulling away and smiling when you chase after his mouth.

“i guess it's safe to say we’re on the same page,” he breathes, the breathiness of his voice making you want to kiss him until he can't speak, “i always had a feeling you'd be a good kisser but jesus,”

“shut up, wolfe.”

“make me, l/n.”

he doesn't have to tell you twice before you’re bringing him back to you. this time he takes more charge, his large hands wrapping up from your back and pulling you in. he moves the attack of his mouth to your neck, sucking so hard at one spot that you know there’ll be a hickey but that excites you even further-

you slightly open your eyes in ecstasy and widen them when they lock with audrey’s in the doorway. aki is standing behind her, looking both scared but…supportive?

you (reluctantly) push max off of you, and the small noise of confusion he makes almost makes the situation better. almost.

audrey steels herself and drags aki further into the room before commanding he close and lock the door, turning back to the two of you stuck standing like kids who were caught stealing from the cookie jar.

“so it’s true. you two are sleeping around and you didnt even bother telling me.” she seethes. but you know her. she puts up an angry front because she’s hurt.

“yup, sorry auds but we wanted to keep it a secret for a bit longer. it was fun to sneak around behind everyone’s backs, anyway,” max boasts, sliding up behind you and wrapping his arms around you. “we would have told you eventually. we didnt think you would get so upset.”

“obviously im upset! my two best friends are sneaking around behind my back!”

“but…are you sure that’s why your upset?” you ask her.

she halts, keeping eye contact with you as she studies your face. you can see the moment she understands but squash it down, in fear that you don’t really mean what you say.

“of course. i should know these things. im…happy for you.”

“babe, c’mon,” aki begs, moving to join you by your side. “it’s ok, trust me. we know. that’s why we did this.”

she squints, eyes flickering between the three of you before she scoffs out a laugh and folds her hands over her chest. “you’re all assholes, you know that? if you had an inkling about how i do or don’t feel you could talk to me like normal people.”

glad she’s not that upset, you rush in and hug her body close to yours, lifting her a bit up off the ground as she yelps and slaps you on the shoulder. it doesn't help, she's barely concealing a smile when you look at her. you turn back to look at aki, who rolls his eye and mouths a “duh” at you before you move in and kiss audrey hope like you’ve been waiting a lifetime for it.

it’s both different but the same as max’s kiss, the desperation still there but less hurried. its slow and soft, comforting knowing you’ll get to do this again as much as you want now. that fat shocks you into pulling away from her, her eyes blinking up at you as she smiles prettily, the non-smudge lipstick that you got her working like a charm.

you feel a tap on your shoulder and look to your boys, the two having shared flushed cheeks and grins. deciding to finish your perfect little square, you giggle as you move over to give aki a sweet kiss as max drags in audrey for the same.

when all of you stop, you stand in silence for a minute just sharing looks before you all start laughing. normally after something like this you'd be nervous, wondering if you just ruined a relationship, but with the three of them you felt safe. you didnt have to worry about what you were, what you would do in the morning, or even the next few minutes. you just got to laugh in happiness with your favorite people knowing they felt the same about you.

#gossip girl #ggrb #gghbo #gossip girl 2021 #gossip girl x reader #max wolfe #max wolfe x reader #audrey hope #audrey hope x reader #aki menzies #aki menzies x reader #makidrey #aki x max x audrey

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