#it has been 84 years i am SO SORRY

[n0ahsferatu]

pov you are a locked chest or perhaps someone bleeding to death

[ausbutlerhq]

Mr. Ken, how the hell are you?? I don't think I've reached out since the premiere of Barbie and that feels like forever ago. I want you to know that I went back to see it another two times, I was a bit preoccupied the first time. It was fantastic and it's been way too long and I needed to reach out. How are you, what's been going on? I'm in LA most of the time, we have to go out for drinks and catch up!

@rycngczling

[reiding-writing]

Hey Red! I really enjoyed all of your writings especially because I am also a sucker for angst and hurt/comfort fic. Anyway, can I request fic about post-prison Spencer x reader (romantic) where the reader is the one who distanced herself from Spencer because after the first time Spencer released from prison, he doesn't want to touch anyone? Bet he'll be so heartbroken and thinking that she's over their relationship. Thank you! Sorry if it's too specific ❤️

distance [ s.r ]

Spencer makes a show of physically distancing himself from his teammates after he returns from prison, and in trying to abide by that boundary you accidentally misread his intentions

WARNINGS: miscommunication, established relationship

pairing: post-prison!spencer x gn!reader

genre: ANGST, hurt/comfort, happy ending

wc: 1.6k

masterlist!!

a/n: gave this one a happy ending as an apology for transgression-

You waited for 84 days to see him again; And yet now he’s stood here in front of you you can’t even bring yourself to speak to him.

He’s thinner than you remember. His cheekbones show more prominently. He has stubble lining his chin. His hair is more unruly. His eyes don’t shine anymore.

Spencer changed in those 84 days, and the second you caught his eyes a hairline fracture formed in your heart.

Gone was the Spencer who would light up at the most insignificant thing. Gone was the Spencer who would look at you with those sweet innocent eyes that would make you weak at the knees. Gone was the Spencer who would link his pinky finger in yours so that he could anchor himself to you no matter where you were.

Gone was the Spencer you knew.

Your Spencer didn’t exist anymore.

You watched as he swerved a hug from Morgan as he entered the office, clasping both of his hands behind his back with an awkward smile as he walked through the bullpen towards you were standing in front of his desk, eerily resembling the 23 year old Spencer who avoided everyone like they had the plague.

“Hey Spence…” Your voice is a lot more breathless than you thought it’d be, only amplified as you look into those gorgeous hazel eyes that you’d dreamed about being able to look into again for the past three months. “..How are you?”

It’s a completely unnecessary question Spencer thinks, it makes it sound like you’re just his co-worker and not the love of his life.

“I’m alright…” His eyebrows twitch when you take a few steps away from his desk as he nears you, like you can’t bear to be too close.

Then again, he probably looks like hell, so he can’t entirely blame you.

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

“That’s good,” You press your lips into a line, nodding softly with your eyes flickering everywhere except his face. He’d been gone for 84 days, but you were treating him like you’d never met.

“I’m gonna go make some coffee-” You point lamely towards the kitchenette with your thumb, sliding past him to walk towards it as he watched you leave, eyes burning into the back of your head.

It was a weird feeling to say the least. You were ecstatic that he was home, that you could finally see his beautiful face again and know that he wasn’t suffering in a prison cell. But you weren’t sure how to express that. Whether you should express that.

You fumble with the coffee machine as you lose yourself in your thoughts. Everything about Spencer’s body language when he entered the office told you he wanted space, and you wanted to respect that.

You understood that he’d definitely been through a lot over the past few months and that he wanted time to collect himself before he let anybody else back in; But the way he looked at you when you moved away from him made you unsure. Did he want to be left alone? Did he actually want you to suffocate him with a hug like you were originally planning on doing?

You weren’t sure. And that was the worst part, because depending on which option you chose you could unintentionally swerve things into being worse than they already were.

You chose the safe option. Let him come to you. Leave him be and allow him to choose what he wanted.

He didn’t approach you for a few days, and you figured that meant your decision was correct, that he truly did just want some space to gain his bearings again and allow himself the downtime to focus on himself before anyone else.

You were wrong.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Spencer caught you right as you left the office, stood in the middle of the hallway leading to the elevator with an exhausted expression on your face after working for almost 10 straight hours.

You do nothing more than blink in his direction at his question, exhaustion morphing into confusion once your eyes catch him expression.

You could see his own tiredness echoed through the bags forming under his eyes and the way his shoulders slumped at his sides, but you could also see a flicker of hurt floating around in his gaze, seemingly amplified under the white florescents as if to torture you.

“I’m- not avoiding you Spencer,”

“Yes you are.” His tone is rigid, a stark difference from the soft and whispered tone you’d grown used to with him. It felt like having a bucket of ice water poured over your head, and as if to physically acknowledge that feeling, a shudder ran its way up your spine and into the base of your skull. “Every time I’m within ten feet of you, you make an excuse to leave.”

You can’t really argue with him there. You had been keeping your distance. But only because you thought that’s what Spencer wanted.

“Do you not love me anymore? Is that it? Am I too broken for you now?”

“What- No-” Your confusion turns into shock at his accusations, and you immediately shake your head in denial.

“Then why are you treating me like a stranger you’ve never met?” His tone borders between angry and upset, and you can see the start of tears forming in his eyes as he stares at you like you’d just ripped up a first-edition copy of his favourite book.

“I waited for the day i’d finally be able to see you again and now you’re acting like I never existed in your mind at all.” You can hear the strain in his voice as he tries to stop it from cracking under his emotions.

“Spence-”

“Have you moved on? You found someone better for you right?”

“Spencer-”

“I hope he makes you happy-”

He barely has time to get out the last sentence as you give a sharp tug on his tie and pull his face down to yours, effectively silencing all of his insecurities with a kiss. It’s soft but firm, and slightly salty. He must’ve started crying.

“I love you Spencer.” Your words hold no room for debate as your lips part from his, connection maintained through the way your foreheads press together.

“But you- Why did you- I thought…” His mind seems to run a thousand miles a minute as he stares at you, finally close enough to see the details of your face that nobody else had the privilege to know. “I thought you didn’t love me anymore…”

“Spence…” You shake your head as it rests against his, a firm denial of his doubt in your complete and utter adoration of him.

“But you kept moving away from me whenever i’d try to come over to you,” He speaks through stuttered breaths, his eyes squeezed shut to hopefully stop the tears that assault his cheeks, running hot down his skin and pooling underneath the curve of his chin.

“I just thought you wanted space baby,” Your thumbs move deftly over his cheeks, wiping away the streaks of tears and taking Spencer’s insecurity with them. “I saw you dodging everyone’s advances and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,”

“I don’t want space from you,” When he opens his eyes again, they’re big, round, and still glistening with the moisture of his tears. But most of all they’re filled with nothing but pure affection for you. “I never want space from you…”

You sure that if you keep eye contact with him for much longer that you’ll start crying yourself, so you redirect his head to lie against your shoulder as you wrap your arms tight around his torso.

“I missed you…” His voice is so quiet that if you weren’t holding him in your arms you wouldn’t have heard it.

“I missed you too Spence,” Your head rests against his, you hand rubbing soft lines up and down his spine over his shirt as he soaks in all the affection he’s missed over the last three months.

“Can I stay at yours tonight? Please?” His gaze is enough of a ‘please’ in itself, but the way his voice drops to almost a whisper when he adds the plea onto the end of his question makes it impossible for you to deny him. Although it’s not like you were going to in the first place.

“Of course you can Spence,” You place a kiss to his left temple as you carefully break the hug, taking his hand in yours to lead him to the elevator. “Lets go home,”

[not-the-cheese]

one sentence(ish) summaries of every magnus archive episode PART 2

(eps 61-110) thank u for the funny comments and tags on the last part i love u guys

the rest of these may take a while as i've caught up to where i am currently in the podcast but i will finish them like in a month i promise

----

61. the thrilling sequel to man does not open coffin: man DOES open coffin.

62. surely this doctor can find an easier way to scam people out of money than putting them in a little book.

63. THE DARK ATE MY BROTHER IN LAW.

64. this is possibly the plot of laura croft tomb raider

65. mmm crumchy

66. what's the opposite of an unboxing video

67. as close to a coffeeshop au as you're going to get from this podcast

68. Doctors hate him! Man REFUSES to die from tuberculosis!

69. your college's psych department has the worst idea ever.

70. reverse death note

71. not even death will stop this woman from taking the british subway

72. man doesn't want to be low key racist in his last moments before getting eaten

73. police versus the second coming of dark jesus

74. lady is haunted by an ad for coffee

75. mike crew says "uh fuck it let's just put this guy on a skyscraper forever"

76. ryan from buzzfeed unsolved breaks into a train yard and suffers consequences

77. you're not a enough of a bitch to be my real mom

78. man gets harassed by his cousin and then exorcises him

79. you know that chase scene in scooby doo with the doors

80. stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner

81. i have been personally victimized by the sequel to the hungry hungry caterpillar

82. pov: elias threatens to cancel you

83. mannequin takes matters into its own hands after people don't like its pitch for a new window display

84. a hoarder put newspaper on my friend's face :(

85. hey there's maybe a little man upon these stairs?

86. man gets got by a squiggly thing in the dark.

87. plumber is so oblivious to spooky happenings around him that it possibly saves his life.

88. guys i think this guy likes to dig

89. lesbian investment banker finds a new, less evil job: arson!

90. guy who turns people's bones starts a gym where he promises not to turn your bones! (he is lying)

91. i was stalked by lightning for 10 years and i all i got were these stupid scars

92. jonah magnus is a bad friend // another day another elias slay

93. ocd is no match for purple fuzz

94. let the bodies drop gently to the floor let the bodies drop gently to the floor

95. im so sorry my brain refuses to remember what the war ones were about but i think one guy got gently kissed on the forehead so that's pretty nice.

96. diversity wins! the not-quite-human delivery men who stole your identity and business are maybe gay?

97. man gets gaslighted by an entire town about a hole

98. 🎶mister sandman bring me a dream, actually don't, please stay far from me 🎶

99. another one bites the dust

100. archival assistants face off against the general public (they lose)

101. jon finally levels up high enough to unlock an eldritch horror's tragic backstory

102. LOCAL MAN MARRIES BUG

103. peppa eats a clown and they cover her in concrete instead of congratulating her.

104. pennywise stole my brother's skin

105. it's world war z baby

106. Something Big Is In Space.

107. man is interrogated about the time he saw thomas the train roasts people alive and also sans is there

108. actor is stalked by mask who liked his monologue so much that it tells its mask friends to come watch.

109. sometimes a family is just a serial killer's daughter and that guy who maybe killed some vampires

110. yeah man those spiders be eating

Part 1 |

[bu-blegh-ost]

A short essay about how Caspian is mathematically not a mole (ep. 115 spoilers) (and for the whole series for that matter)

Okay, alright guys, I saw your concerns. I saw it all, and you are right to be worried that your favourite blue wet man's blue and equally wet best friend may turn out to be a traitor. And so am I, trust me. Which is why I went through every single bit of Caspian's past I could dig out to create an unltimate timeline of his entire goddamn life to see it it'd be plausible for him to become a mole at any point in time and ultimately prove his innocence! If that's something you're interested in reading, then buckle up!

"Jay, you come from a division of soliders that were purposely put to infiltrate pirate crews, especially the new and upcoming ones. This is totally seperate from the Black-Ops situation that you learned about in the Stronghold. And you, in this book, can tell that there is a plant on Lizzie's crew."

This, of course is something I need to point out first. Whoever Lizzie's mole might be, they are not a doppelganger. They are not a clone, or Black-Ops, just a solider of the Navy, a person that must have gotten into the Navy via regular recruitment, be trained by them and then put into a spy division. Jay ofc had this entire process sped up, due to her grandma's influence, but no one other than her, especially an Undersea citizen, who would probably have to put in extra effort to be trusted given their shaky political situation few years back, would get the same treatment. What I'm trying to say, Caspian would need time, at least few years of training to become a mole they'd trust to infiltrate a crew, and not just any crew might I add. More on that later. Let's go back to his most early years for now. This is a fragment of episode 84 in which Caspian talks to Gillion abt his early life:

C: We all have family. I consider my life up here, this crew to be my found family. But my previous…tribe with the water genasi in the Undersea, where I was growing up…sort of in a [illegible]... remember me telling you about the outskirts? We um…was very nomadic, quite a, quite a peaceful, tranquil life, but it was always, you know…mixed with this life of poverty and my family wasn’t very…wouldn’t really have much but the water around us, and each other, I suppose, so uh…You know...I mean my mother didn’t make it past old age, and uh…

G: I’m sorry…

C: When my sister left the tribe, my father sort of fell into a depression of sorts and he stopped moving around. And when we stayed in one place, I was 18 or so, maybe 16, it was a while ago, and then…that’s when I left as well. Ventured to the Oversea, and um…and it’s history, so that’s my family. Not sure what they’re up to these days, I mean…I know my sister went to the capital, where you were.

G: Pirating is a pretty lucrative business, maybe if…we managed to find them or run into them, we can give something back, put them in a better situation.

C: …Well um…I mean this was 10-15, 10 to 12 to 15 years ago, quite some, quite some time, so I don’t even know if my father is alive still, I mean I don’t really have the desire to go back to the undersea, Gill.

G: Wha-why not?

C: Because I like my life up here. This is where I’m happy.

So, before we go to what all of that entails, one more quick crazy thing to mention: so, Caspian's sister is an Elder of the Undersea. Like for sure. This is confirmed by this part from ep. 79:

The Triton who you remember as the Elder Odolaf, who looks like he is about to speak, but is cut off by the water genasi, who has been doing a lot of talking thus far, who is Elder Celeste. They stand up and there is a familiarity that you notice now in their face. It’s like you have met them before, but not in the way that you know them because they are the Elder, but in a way that it’s like, they look like somebody you know. And she has sort of these uh, white tied-up like dreads that are tied up in like a bun and they come across the face and then one side is shaved. And there are beads and piercings in her hair, her ears are a little bit more sea elf-like in the way that they are pointed and they kind of like gradient into pink. They all kind of wear the same sort of ornate robes, though hers is more, I guess faded and like cut a bit, look a bit more warriorous, or like tribal, but still very well-made and professional.

Tribal clothing, a water genasi, that looks like someone Gillion saw before in the face. The only water genasi Gillion met after leaving the Undersea is Caspian. Elder Celeste is Caspian's sister. Wild. Anyway, not what we're here for, but I needed to mention that.

The crazier thing is that Caspian left to Oversea when he was 16-18, and it has been 10-15 years since then. That means Caspian is currently 26 at possible youngest, and 33 at his oldest, which was surprising to me, I did not imagine Caspian as a man in his 30s! But that's straight up facts, so holy shit, you know?

Okay, so I'm going to list a lot of small facts that determine a lot of ages in quick succession. I hope it's not gonna be too scary to look at, I'll simplify it all at the end. [Deep inhale]

Right now Gillion is 22. So when Caspian left the Undersea, Gillion was 12-7. Jay is 21 and Ava was 2 years older, same age as Lizzie. So Lizzie is 23 now. When Caspian left the Undersea, she was 13-8. Chip is 19, so Lizzie is 4 years older. Hole in the Sea happened when Chip was 9, so Lizzie was 13. So Caspian left the Undersea around the same time Lizzie crashed on the uninhabited island with Chey after the Hole.

It's a lot, I know, I know. So let me clear this up a little.

Hole in the sea was 10 years ago. Chip was 9, Lizzie was 13. 10 years ago Caspian was in the age between 16 and 23, and he left the Undersea when he was 16 or 18. So roughly at the same time the Black Sea happened, Caspian came to the surface for the first time.

(also pls note that we are talking in estimates, casue in ep. 36 Lizzie says she was 11 when the hole happened, but in ep. 101 she says she was the same age as Ava which by the power of math would put her at 13. Either way, somewhere around that age)

After that, Lizzie spend some time on an uninhabited island with Chey, the Black Rose cook, who sacrificed herself for Liz, so she could survive and died shortly after. We do not know how much time passed, but I assume no longer than few months, and after that she was saved by Captain Shadowbeard where she met Caspian. They were a part of Shadowbeard's crew, Caspian saved her from the massacre where Shadowbeard was killed, and then Lizzie went on to create her own crew, Grandberry Pirates with Caspian never leaving her for a second since he met her. That means that the only time Caspian could have joined the Navy would be RIGHT after he came to the Oversea for the first time, roughly at the same time Lizzie was stranded on an island, and in that short period of time (between Lizzie's crash on the island and her being found by Shadowbeard) he would have to find the time to be trusted and accepted by Navy, get trained specifically for infiltration AND infiltrate not anyones BUT FUCKING SHADOWBEARD'S SHIP. Not a NEW crew. A crew of one of the most legendary pirates on the sea. Cause before Lizzie, Caspian was Sadowbeard's crew member, and since then he never stopped being a pirate, so if he was a solider, he would have had to be one before Shadowbeard. And remeber what Grizzly said in 115: "Jay, you come from a division of soliders that were purposely put to infiltrate pirate crews, especially the new and upcoming ones."

Shadowbeard was not new. Not upcoming. He was dangerous and Navy must have had the balls of steal to send a rookie solider, which Caspian would have been at that point in time, to infiltrate him. The numbers say it's impossible. Guys, the numbers! They don't add up!

Anyway, so basically Caspian could not be a mole. He is not a new pirate, he was not a member of a fresh crew, becaue his pirate journey did not start with Lizzy, it started with Shadowbeard. Grandberry Pirates is a new crew, but Caspian is not a newbie in it. You know who is? Rudith. I mean what kind of doctor lets a bunch of rowdy pirates have a secret base under a place where sick and vulnerable rest??? Like ANY other place would have been better and more respectful! Also you know what's interesting? Gillion could heal these people with lay on hands easily, and yet the only thing Rudith did for them was give them potions that didn't seem to help and look after them on purely non-medical level. Bro didn't do shit. Like, why would you even become a doctor without having access to healing magic? The answer, you are not. You are a Navy solider in disguise.

Okay, okay, I'm done, that's all. If you got this far, you are a hero, thank you for reading this insanely long ramble, but that's kind of the conclusions that I came to, of course, any counter-theories and discussion in general is very much welcome! I'd love to hear your opinions! Love you guys, bye~

[bicheetopuff]

I CONNECTED DOTS YOU GUYS

(After the training camp arc Ch. 84)

Izuku using OFA at a capacity that he couldn’t handle made it so that it seemed like bombs exploded inside of him.

He was quirkless so, his body has no limiters which is why he isn’t able to get a grip on his quirk for so long. It’s similar to a child using a pencil for the first time. They don’t have fine motor skills yet because they’ve never held a pencil before, making their hand writing sloppy and harsh.

So, I present this:

Cluster

As the doctor said, a persons limiters are taken away when their fight or flight response kicks in but their body can’t take that kind of stress. Especially when you’re using 100% of your power for an extended amount of time.

So cluster is the result of Katsukis fight or flight response when he thought Izuku was gonna get hurt.

Fight or flight means that his limiters are thrown out the window causing stress of over excursion of his quirk on his body causing explosions to go off inside of him.

This happening to Katsuki though is more like someone who’s been writing for years but is suddenly forced to write faster out of fear, causing their hand writing to be sloppy and harsh, like a child’s.

And this kinda just reminds me that Katsuki and Izuku have been becoming more like each other in more ways than one as the series goes on. There’s intentional and unintentional imitation on both sides, not just Izukus side. But also kinda shows that these two imitating each other isn’t always a good thing…

Where am I going with this? Nowhere. I was just re reading vol. 10 of the manga cuz I needed something for my fic and i found this and thought that I’d point out the foreshadowing and parallels. It’s also cool that chapter 84 is referenced at the beginning of chapter 285 when cluster is born.

There’s also foreshadowing to Izukus vigilante arc from Iida in literally the same chapter which is also foreshadowing for Iida being the one to talk him down. Ugh it’s just super cool re-reading and seeing the things that were hinted at but were completely overlooked initially.

This was kind of a rant lmao, I’m sorry

[anothermansjeans]

karma

pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader (she/her pronouns)

warnings: none!

word count: 946

a/n: it’s been 84 years… but ANYWAY… miss taylor swift has infiltrated my mind once again and i just had to a fic inspired by karma because it’s one of my favorite songs on midnights! im sorry if it’s a little rushed (its currently 1:16 a.m when i write this but i am also excited about it)! i also apologize for any mistakes!

inspiration: karma by taylor swift

masterlist

++

Aaron Hotchner has been through a lot. Between being stabbed, hearing his ex-wife being murdered, being blown up, and having to go into witness protection with his kid, you would think he would be a cynical man, but recently that’s changed. He now believes in karma.

It was a year after leaving witness protection when he had his first dose of good karma. He took Jack to a bakery after school and the woman behind the counter offered them each a free cookie since it was the “bakery’s birthday”. It was trivial, he knows, but the way the woman’s eyes lit up when both him and Jack praised the treat made him feel good. It was a feeling that was always fleeting in the past, but this feeling seemed to stay.

It stayed because the next week when he took Jack to the same bakery, the same woman was standing at the counter and had an even brighter smile when she saw them. This time, the visit went a little differently. After he and Jack had gotten their baked goods for the day and started to head out, he stopped at the sound of her voice calling out to him.

“Sir, you left your card!”

He didn’t have time to walk back up to the counter, because she was making her way up to him, and the moment her hand slightly touched his, he swore his body was shocked with one of the most intense feelings.

And he knew she felt it too, her eyes said it all.

“Um… h-have a nice day…?” She trailed off, not knowing his name.

“Aaron”, he responded, giving her a nod. “You too…”

She stared into his eyes for a moment longer before leaving her trance due to the sound of the be above the door ringing. “Y/N.”

“Y/N… have a nice day Y/N.”

That was his second dose of good karma.

The third time karma was in his favor happened a lot sooner than anyone would ever expect. He was alone the next time he went into the bakery— Jack having an after school activity— and when he saw Y/N at the counter she looked more nervous than happy to see him.

“Hi!” Her voice was pitchy, and she fiddled with her fingers as he got closer. “No uh… Your son— I’m assuming— isn’t with you today?”

“No, no. Jack had a school thing. I still wanted to pick something up for him, though.” And then they continued their routine— talking about the specials, picking out two to three treats, paying for it, and saying goodbye. The only difference was… Aaron stayed a minute longer.

She told him to have a nice day, he said the same, but he stood there, standing at the counter, wanting to stay in her presence just a moment longer. He didn’t know how weird it looked until after they stared each down for a good minute, proceeded by her clearing her throat.

“Is there um, anything else… that I can help you with?”

“No… no.” He tried to stay stoic, but he saw her face slightly fall, and he felt something in his stomach make the same movement.

“Okay, well you probably have someone waiting for you—”

“Actually, there is something.” He cut her off, knowing exactly what she had been implying, but he didn’t want her thinking that. “I want to take you out. On a date.”

It was impulsive, and Aaron Hotchner didn’t do impulsive. Until that moment apparently.

She looked shocked at first, but a delicate smile danced on her lips seconds later, and she grabbed a napkin, writing her number down and giving it to him. He used it almost immediately when he got home.

They had gone on several dates after that. So many that they were officially together, and the next step was to tell Jack, which coincidentally was Aaron’s fourth strike of karma.

Jack was ecstatic the moment he heard the news. He loved Y/N. She gave him baked goods whenever she went over, she always talked with him about his current hobbies, and she made his dad happy. Jack loved Y/N.

Seeing this love from him was one of the best things Aaron had witnessed in a long time. The way she would interact with him, the sparkle in Jack’s eyes when he’s told Y/N would be joining them, the overall sense of happiness that radiated from him at the mere mention of her— these were things Aaron was grateful for.

He was so grateful for them that months down the line, after a long day of family activities, he was able to settle on the couch in his home with her once Jack had gone to sleep and have nothing but adoration in his gaze down at her.

And that feeling was so strong— strong in the sense that he hadn’t known the next words coming from his lips.

“I’m in love with you.”

She was laying between his legs, back pressed up against him. Her head was tilted up at an angle, literal stars could be seen in her eyes. “Really?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at her question. “Yes, really.”

“Good.” She shifted up a bit and kissed under his jaw, lips lingering as she spoke in a soft whisper, “because I have never been so in love with someone in my entire life.”

And right then and there, he noticed something.

Karma is a good feeling. Karma is an electric touch. Karma is getting a date. Karma is seeing his son happy. Karma is the love of his life. Y/N is his karma.

++

tags: @sylvieofasgard @jhiddles03 @skyyyreads @captainamericasmotercycle @gothwifehotchner @ssamorganhotchner (i tagged people who interacted with my recent post so i apologize if you didn’t want to be tagged!!)

let me know if you would like to be tagged in future work!!

[layce2015]

Sneak Peek #2 for The Boys Fic (Soldier Boy x Female!Supe!Reader)

(A/n: Soooo…hey everybody! I know it has been awhile since my last post, which announced that I was gonna do a The Boys fic, and I am sorry for the wait. For anyone wondering, yes I am still doing it I’ve just been dealing with every writer’s worst nightmare….Wirter’s Block!

Mainly it’s cause the show doesn’t give a whole lot of Soldier Boy’s backstory and I’ve been adding some flashbacks into my fic that shows how Soldier Boy and (y/n) interacted. But all we got of Soldier Boy’s past is from other people’s perspective and maybe some mentions from the man himself. So it has been a rough to come up with scenarios from little information we got. So I stepped back from it for a bit. But now I’m back on working on it and I have at least two and a half chapters written out and it’s supposed to have at least 8 chapters. But it could be more if Soldier Boy ends up appearing in season 4.

Anyway, to prove that I am working on this fic, here is another sneak peek for the fic.)

"Well, we got to talk. I think I have something, thanks to my informant." Maeve said and she hands him a folder. "Informant?" Butcher asked as he takes the file and opens it to see some pages of information and pictures of Soldier Boy. "Soldier Boy. So what?" Butcher said as he looks up at her.

"Remember how he died?" Maeve asked him. "Stopping a nuclear meltdown in Ohio. '83, '84, I think, got buried beneath a reactor. Always thought it was bollocks." Butcher said. "Yeah, you thought right. Read." She tells him and he reads the file.

"What's B.C.L. RED?" He asked. "If you believe the rumors, it's the thing that killed Soldier Boy. My informant said it's some kind of gun or weapon or something. Had to have been a fսcking H-bomb. He was nearly as strong as..." Maeve said as Butcher looks through the file and looks at some pictures.

"If we can find this...weapon or whatever it is, maybe we can use it to blow Homelander's fսcking brains out." Maeve said. "If it is real, not some fսcking fable." Butcher said then he picks up the team-up picture of Payback. "Payback." Butcher mutters before he scoffs. "What a bunch of fսcking wankеrs." He said as he stares at photo. "When The Seven passed them as the number one super team, Crimson Countess sent me a box of cat shit. But not all of them were bad. She was a close friend of Soldier Boy and his ex-girlfriend." Maeve said as she gestures to the photo and points at the red-haired woman in the red outfit who was standing on the right of Soldier Boy.

"And, uh, Gunpowder was his sidekick." She said as she points at the young teen who was standing at Soldier Boy's left. "If anyone knows what happened to him, they do." Maeve said while Butcher noticed Noir in the photo. "Your mate Noir was in Payback. Why don't you ask him?" He asked her and Maeve scoffs. "Even if that walking tumor could talk, it wouldn't be to me." She said and Butcher looks at the photo again and noticed a woman standing on the other side of Gunpowder.

She looked about in her late twenties, her long (h/c) hair was braided and she was wearing a dark blue body-suit and a gold belt and knee high boots, a matching cape on her shoulders.

"Is that...?" Butcher started to ask and Mavee nodded. "Mystic Shade, yeah." She said. "Haven't heard that name in years." Butcher said and Maeve shrugs. "She retired sometime after Soldier Boy's death. She was fucking Soldier Boy." Maeve said as Butcher flips to another photo and this one was of Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade together. They were both smiling and Mystic Shade was hugging Soldier Boy as he had an arm around her waist.

Butcher then looks at Maeve. "Well then, I should be visiting her, not these two knobs." Butcher said but Maeve shakes her head. "No, Mystic Shade is off limits." She said, firmly, and Butcher gives her a curious look. "And why is that, princess?" Butcher asked and Maeve just glares at him.

Suddenly, it clicks with him. "Mystic Shade is your informant, isn't she?" He asked and Maeve averts his gaze and he smiles, knowing he was right. "Fine! Yes, she was the one that gave me this information. But she told me, specifically, that she didn't want to be questioned because this is all she wanted to give." Maeve said and Butcher watches her. "So, please, don't go bothering her." Maeve demanded.

"Well, well, well, didn't know you had such a soft spot for Mystic Shade." Butcher said and Maeve sighs. "We've been in communication for almost a year. Then when she heard about Homelander and all the fucked up things he's done and how I want him gone, she provided this." Maeve said and Butcher gives her a look that basically said he knew there was more to it.

"Fine, she was one of the heroes I looked up to when I was a kid, okay! Unlike most of these assholes, she actually cares about people." Maeve said. "Oh, I doubt that." Butcher said. "Doubt it all you want but it's the truth." Maeve said as she digs into her purse and pulls out a little bag. "Here." She said and Butcher takes the bag, unzips it and sees small vials of green liquid.

"What's this?" He asked her. "It's Temp V. One shot makes you a Supe for 24 hours. I mean, they think. It's still in R&D." Maeve said and Butcher gives her a look. "Oh, great, so powers, maybe. Maybe my bollocks swell up like footballs. Yeah?" Butcher said, sarcastically. "Payback may be a bunch of fսck holes, but they're strong. And they're dangerous. If you're going against them, you're gonna need it." Maeve warns.

"And what makes you think that me, of all people, would want to turn into one of you?" Butcher asked her as he takes a step closer to her. "This is our best chance to kill Homelander. Don't fսck it up." She said.

(A/n: And here is another peek, this is one of the flashbacks.)

I walk up to the stage as Doctor Vought was at the microphone, talking. Then he turns to me and holds his arm out to me. “Now please welcome the new hero, Mystic Shade!” He said and I push back all of my negative emotions and smile and wave as I walk up to him while the crowd applauded.

I go to Dr. Vought and he shakes my hand then kisses both of my cheeks then leads me to the microphone. Once I get to the microphone, Dr Vought said. “Now, Mystic Shade, will be taking questions.”

And a flood of voices saying over here, over here chanted out and Vought points to a random person. “Yes, you there!” He calls out. “How does it feel to be selected to join by Dr. Vought?” A male voice called out. “Um, it is an incredible opportunity here. And I’m very excited to join.” I replied then more raised hands and voices. Dr Vought pointed out to a different man. 

“When did you first discover your powers?” The second man asked me. “I was about fifteen or sixteen years old when I found out. I guess I was alway born with them it just didn’t develop until I became a teenager.” I replied. “And what are they? I mean, what can you do?” The man asked. “Well, I’m strong, I can move objects without touching them and I can make shields to protect myself and people around me.” I replied and there was a series of ooh’s and aah’s across the crowd. 

Then another round of hands shooting up in the air and Dr Vought points at another hand. "So, are you gonna help out with the war? If so, how does it feel to be the first woman to be out in the field?" The third man asked. "It is something I never would've imagined but I want to help out not just the country but the people who are involved." I said then another man calls out.

​​​​​​"So what's it feel like to achieve everything you hoped for?" He asked and I paused at this. Truth is I didn't achieve anything, this is all a lie. I wanted to scream that out so badly but I couldn't as I stood there frozen. "I-I, uh..." I stammered then Vought comes up to me and places his hands on my shoulders. "I'm sure she feels fantastic. She's being very modest right now. Not being used to this kind of attention can make anyone freeze. So let's give a hand for our new hero!" Vought said and there was applause and I give a small, weak smile.

Minutes later, I walk out on the balcony and took in a deep breath then let it out. Being in that ballroom suffocated me. I lean against the stone railings of the balcony and took in some quick breathes until anger rose in my chest and I slam my fists down on it, making the stone crack. "Whoa-ho, remind me not to make you angry." A male voice said, a bit of a laugh in his tone. 

I jumped at this, not expecting anyone out here, and look to my left to see a man, in a army uniform with a long coat, standing some feet away from me. "I'm not in the mood to talk." I grumbled and I look out on the balcony. "I figured. Saw you up on that stage....and well, here..." he said and I look over at him and see him holding a bottle out to me.​​​​​ "You need this more than me."

"Did you steal that from party?" I asked him. "More like borrowing." He said, shrugging, and I chuckled a bit then take the bottle from him. "Thank you." I said and I begin to drink from it. "I'm guessing rough day?" He asked me. “You could say that.” I muttered and I take another drink from the bottle. 

“These Vought parties are never what the public thinks they are. The only good things here are the food, the booze…and the pretty women.” He said and he gives me a flirtatious smile. I giggled a little and smile, which I just realized is my first genuine smile I’ve made in months. “I’m flattered but…I’m married.” I tell him and he has a surprised look on his face.

”I don’t believe that.” He said and I raise an eyebrow at him. “Oh? And why is that?” I asked him. “No sane man, especially a husband, would leave you out here on your own.”  He said and I laugh a little again. “Maybe, I wanted to be alone.” I said and he shrugs a little. “You may have a point. But, even so, shouldn’t be out here alone. Some stranger could try to chat you up.” He said. “Like you?” I asked him, smiling, and he chuckles.

”Yeah…” he mutters and we share a small laugh then he holds his hand out to me. “I’m Ben.” He introduces and I take his hand. “(Y/n).” I said as we shake hands. “(Y/n), beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” He said and I give a bashful smile to him. “Thank you.” I said then he kisses the back of my hand and I felt my heart leap in my chest.

I haven’t felt this way in a long time, not since I married my husband. 

“So, you happily married?” He asked me and my smile falters. “Judging by that frown, I’m guessing not.” Ben said and I sighed. “Just…going through a tough time right now.” I said. “That’s why I never married, when the tough times come in, there’s nothing to tie you down.” Ben said and I nod at this. “I’m starting to think that’s a good idea.” I said before I drink from the bottle again.

At that moment, we hear the door open behind us and I look over my shoulder to see it was Adam. “There you are.” Adam said as he comes up to me. Then he looks over at Ben and seems surprised. “Oh, I see you’re talking to your teammate.” He said and I furrow my brow. “Huh?” I said and Adam places an arm around my shoulder. “This is Soldier Boy. Your partner in the war.” Adam tells me and I was surprised by this.

I have heard the name Soldier Boy but I didn’t know what he looked like since I was trapped in that lab for the last few months.

I look over at Ben and he gives me a smile. “Surprise?” He asked me. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me for not recognizing you, sir.” I said to him. “It’s fine, just don’t go forgetting my face now.” He said, smiling, and I chuckled. “I most certainly will not.” I said and he nods.

”Well, I’ll leave you two alone. I’m sure I’m needed in there.” Ben said as he gestures to the door. And I felt a little sad about him leaving, I was kinda enjoying his company. “You two have a good evening.” Ben said as he walks over to the door. “And you as well.” Adam said then Adam turns to me as I look out on the balcony.

”I see you already starting the night off.” Adam said, gesturing to the bottle of champagne in my hands, but I don’t respond as I look over my shoulder in time to see Ben go to the door. It seemed he sensed me and he looks over his shoulder at me then smiles and gives me a wink before he walks in.

My heart absolutely fluttered at this and I felt my face go red before I look back out on the balcony.

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

It's been 84 years 😭😭

I've forgotten which episode I'm on 😢

***

LMAO, him putting his smelly sock to her face to check if she's really asleep 🤣🤣

How women deal with gross, smelly husbands in their beds, I will never know, but smelly or not, I'm 100% on his side here. Poor baby, he kept waiting for her to do something, anything, and she went straight to bed and fell asleep! Logically, I know she was never going to lift a finger to stop him from sleeping with that other woman and that if he had done so, he would have lost all possibility of ever winning her romantic affection for the rest of their lives. Win or lose, the very act of having to fight over him would have been a defeat for her. He is fighting on a battlefield he cannot see and is set up to lose on all fronts. But here his, against all odds, emerging with the moral high ground.

***

LOL, she's awake after all 🤣🤣

Test or no test, I was wondering how she could sleep. Even knowing, even fully prepared, even resigned, I would still not sleep for a week. Once it happened, there would be no coming back and I'd never trust or love him again, but while it was happening, I would not be able to pretend that everything was normal.

***

That's right, snuggle your wife 🤗

***

LOL, at least she has a plan to drive her away 😅

***

MY GUY, SHE'S NOT JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU PASSED THE TEST! 🎉🎉🎊🎊🎉🎉

YOU GET TO STAY MARRIED WITH HER STILL LOVING YOU!

***

Oh, Minglan, take your victories and stop now 😢

***

LMAO, yes, Minglan, stop letting evildoers add firewood to the fire!

Next time a garbage aunt comes by to stir up shit in your marriage, gouge her eyes out.

***

LMAOOOO, from the looks on their faces, I'm guessing this second wife was not invited 😅

Anyway, here for a scandal that, for once, does not involve Minglan.

***

Oof, that will end well 😅

As usual, no sympathy for men who take in concubines. I hope the main wife eats them both.

***

Yes, give them hell 🤬

The aduacity, I swear.

***

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD 🤯🤯

She is not very bright, is she? If I was the main wife, I would skin her alive when we got back home.

***

LMAOOOOO, I am living for Gu Tingye's WTF face 🤣🤣

***

Poor Hualan, she has to parent her dumbass mother who is about to step into a huge pile of 💩 at any moment now.

***

Oh, this shit-stirring idiot showed up too, smh.

***

OH MY GOD.

WHY IS YOUR SHIT MARRIAGE TO YOUR SHIT HUSBAND MINGLAN'S PROBLEM? LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE ALREADY.

***

LMFAO, Minglan is entertaining none of this nonsense 🤣🤣

The way she suddenly asserted herself as an ~elder~ and she is, what? Eighteen years old at best? 🤣🤣

***

Minlgan, murder her and bury her stinky corpse under a rosebush in your backyard.

What a goddamn bitch for no good reason.

Trust me, Minglan is not the reason your worthless husband can't get it up for you.

***

DIDN'T YOU START IT?

If it were me, I would have kicked you and your garbage husband out on your ass. But Minglan has more grace and patience than I ever will, so she is kindly trying to set you straight, you fucking moron.

Ugh, she and Qi Heng deserve each other 🤬

***

AGAIN, YOUR SHITTY MARRIAGE IS NOT MINGLAN'S FUCKING PROBLEM.

She is so done with Qi Heng's shitty ass and she doesn't even know you, leave her the fuck alone!

***

You are also an idiot.

And here I was, feeling sorry for you.

***

The way this crusty wank sock came running, smh.

He will pass up zero opportunities to take a gigantic dump on her entire life. I hate him so much.

***

FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[leasstories]

You, silly

Eddie x gn !reader

TW: A little bit of angst

WC ≈0.7K

Based on the prompt "i love everyone so effortlessly, but when im loving you, it's.. painful, it tears my open my heart to emotions I've never known. i am afraid, if this is really love, i won't be me without it. i won't be me without you."

Written with my best friend’s support and collaboration.

You and Eddie have been best friends forever, you met when you were eight and Eddie moved in with his uncle at Hawkins Trailer Park. At the time, you were neighbors, you were living with your grandma because your dad passed away and your mom was too drunk 24/7 to take care of you. You graduated in the class of ’84 and now you are working at the Arcade. As every Friday night, you are supposed to be at your movie night with Eddie. But you’re late, and you know you’re late. Your boss talked your ears off for hours and you just arrived home when you were supposed to be at Eddie’s. Now you have to take a shower and change clothes as fast as possible. You are never late, and you know Eddie, he is going to worry. Once you are showered and dressed in more casual clothes, you grab your car keys and climb into the driver’s seat. And as every time you are in a rush, your car won’t start. It’s always the same, your old car, inherited from your grandma who doesn’t drive anymore, decide to annoy you. After 10 good minutes the car finally decides to start.

You drive to Eddie’s trailer and when you arrive, you know you are in trouble. There stands Eddie, on the steps of his trailer, anxiously smoking a cigarette. When he sees your car parking in front of his trailer, he looks pissed. You see him stomping towards yourcar. You open yourcar door and slam it shut, trying to convey that you are not ready for his bullshit.

Eddie looks at me, real pissed. “Where were you? I was fucking worried!” he says, almost screaming.

“Hello to you too” you answer, rolling your eyes.

“None of that. Where. Were. You?”  Eddie asks again, still as pissed as ever.

“Okay so I woke up at 7, at that point I was home and then I went to work and-” you start but Eddie cuts you off.

“I didn’t ask for your schedule, where were you at 6 pm.” Eddie insists.

“I was just getting home! My day has been hell Eddie so sorry if I’m a little late to our weekly movie night!” You say, getting pissed as well.

Eddie’s voice softens. “What happened?”

“Nothing. Are we watching this movie or?” you ask, annoyed.

“Oh no! don’t tell me your day was hell and then back away!” Eddie says.

“Why do you care?” you ask.

“Because I care about you!” Eddie says, still screaming.

“Not like I do.” You mutter.

“What was that?” Eddie asks.

“Nothing.” You answer.

“Oh no. Don’t do that, I heard you! What was that?” Eddie insists.

“Fine. I love everyone so effortlessly, but when I’m loving you, it's.. painful, it tears my open my heart to emotions I've never known. I am afraid, if this is really love, I won't be me without it. I won't be me without you.”

“What?” Eddie asks, baffled.

“I’m fucking in love with you Eddie! I’ve been hiding it for 5 years and I can’t do it anymore, it is so painful to be near you but not be yours, it was painful to hear you talk about your crush on Chrissy Cunnigham, it is painful to only be your best friend.” You say.

“Why are you saying this now?” Eddie asks.

“Because this day can’t get any worse. So go ahead, tell me how we are best friends and you’ve ever only considered a platonic relationship with me. Tell me how-“ But Eddie cuts you off in a unexpected way, he kisses you. He kisses you passionately. Nothing like the drunk kisses you’ve had at parties, this one’s real. This one conveys real love. When you are both out of breath, you part. Eddie gently play with your hair, all flustered and admits.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time.” He sighs, content.

“What?” you say, still in the daze of the kiss.

“I love you as more than my best friend you, silly.” Eddie says grinning.

“Oh” Is all you managed to say.

“Would you do me the honor to watch a movie with me?” Eddie asks, holding his hand out to you.

“Is that a date?” you ask, grinning.

“Yep” Eddie says popping the “p”.

You both disappear into Eddie’s trailer for your hundredth movie night with Eddie, but the first one spent as a date.

Taglist: @abellmunsonmovie

[scintillyyy]

so i want (finally after months of this sitting in my drafts) to say some things about dana winters-drake, because she, along with jack and janet fascinate me. and i'm going to preface this and say: yes, i know she was created and written by terrible sexist writers, a lot of her more negative traits are because terrible sexist writers don't understand or care about how to write women and write them as laughably wtf, and none of what i'm saying means that i think she deserved her ultimate fate (she definitely did not, and i am mad about it). but! she is more complex than just a generic good mom and she has some really interesting negative characteristics to me. and i'm gonna put this under a read more, because this is probably going to get long

#1 dana as the worst physical therapist in the world:

so i'm going to start with my main point of contention(? i don't know, maybe not that strong) with her: her introduction. she's introduced as jack's physical therapist, and i will not lie, this comes very, very close to absolutely ruining her completely for me and the only reason is doesn't is because i'm aware of who created her, so it's not her fault. i'm am absolutely biased about this, i will admit it. i find this personally abhorrent on every level due to personal reasons, and there is no way anyone will ever convince me that this is not that bad. there is no situation in which dana is not a total monster for this. and i am correct about this. i promise you i can argue every "but" you have about it. i'm sorry. (unless, of course, your argument is 'but this is comics and we don't ascribe that much real life morality to comics', in which case: fair. that's true.)

because i want to make it clear: jack sucks, but dana is the one in the wrong here when it comes to them getting in a relationship. i see a lot of "but she was way younger than him" kind of framing her as an innocent young ingenue to jack's older, predatory ways and i'm over here like...that's not how this works at all.

because dana was the professional in the patient-provider relationship. jack shouldn't have been weird or flirty with her, absolutely, please don't harass your health care professionals (but it also tracks! a survey of physical therapists showed that 84% reported being sexually harassed at work from a patient during their career. so yes, of course jack, a man in his 40s-50s would absolutely try to flirt with his PT, 100%) but the thing is...there's nothing actually stopping jack from trying to flirt with his PT. it's annoying and he shouldn't, but there's no laws against it. dana is the one who has the moral, legal, and ethical obligation to maintain a solely professional relationship with jack (yes, even if she is younger than him-also, i promise you, she was at least 24-25 even being introduced in the 90s. at that time physical therapy was largely a master's program following a 4 year bachelor program. she has a fully developed frontal lobe. she's old enough to know her responsibilities. you don't graduate from school for physical therapy or any other rehabilitation job knowing anything but getting with a patient is the #1 no-no, go directly to jail, do not pass go, etc). she is the healthcare provider in this relationship. jack can flirt with her until the cows come home and it's her responsibility to shut him down every time.

because!! there's a little thing called a practice act. it governs what a licensed professional is and isn't allowed to do. and look, i found new jersey's. highlighted just for you. no amount of ~but they're in love~ will help here. no excuses dana!!

i just live in a world where she loses her license to practice after she gets together with jack, okay. like, tbf, she doesn't get shown actually going on dates with jack until after he can walk again in robin #15, but this is nowhere near at least 3 months after he's done with his rehab. like. it's heavily implied that their relationship basically started while she was actively treating him. like. is he even done with his rehab at this point? he mentions he's almost there wrt his walking so is she still his physical therapist? it's never made clear when she stops. dana starts sleeping with him a few issues after this, so god, i hope so.

anyways, even if she had waited three months after terminating their patient-provider relationship, there's various other reasons why her choosing to get together with jack at all after being his physical therapist is a little morally sus even if technically legal. because here's a list of things that dana would technically probably have access to/know about jack as her patient:

does jack have erectile dysfunction issues as a result of his neurologic damage from the poison? she has access to his medications, so she knows.

does jack have depression/other mental health issues from the loss of his wife/is he getting therapy/is he on anti-depressants? it's probably in his chart as a part of coordination of care. is that mental health stuff relevant to his care at all? in this case probably, given the fact that his quadriplegia is wrapped up in the incident that also murdered his wife.

has she worked with jack at all about modifying sexual positions on account of his impairments? pts will discuss this with patients if it's relevant to their care. they actually learn in school on how to educate patients with quadriplegia on how they might have to modify their intimacy with their partners in case it's relevant to care.

patients tend to confide in their PTs a lot. a lot. since they tend to see their rehab providers a lot more than other providers, patients are far more likely to confide a lot of really personal stuff to them because of the rapport/trust that builds between them over time. has jack cried over janet in his sessions with dana? has jack talked about his insecurities about how things will never be the same for him or his mobility and how that makes him feel? has he discussed his frustration at his progress or lack thereof? i cannot stress how much dana has probably gotten to know jack over the course of their rehab together, really sensitive stuff, and then to turn around and get into a relationship with a patient after having been entrusted with that sensitive information about them? would be extremely sus on the part of that provider. would you feel comfortable if that was your dad? you shouldn't.

like, this is fundamentally a very intimate and delicate patient case given everything that jack has been through. which makes it even more important that a clear line of professionalism is drawn and maintained. and dana didn't do that, clearly.

#2. dana prioritizes her position as jack's partner over her position tim's "mom"

now, i don't think this is a bad thing, necessarily! she is, after all, tim's step-mom and she made it clear from the beginning she had no intention of taking tim's mom's place. and she and tim do see each other as family and clearly care about each other. i think she's a very good step-mom, actually! she's willing to listen to tim and she tries to be a mediator between him and his dad/advocate for tim.

that being said, she almost always will capitulate to jack's position in the end. she might try to get jack to ease up, but she never really actively fights against jack's final decision on what to do with tim. remember the tv ripping out of the wall incident? in robin #45?

this happens after dana came in and talked to tim and said she'll talk to his dad about jack hearing out tim's side of the ariana story. she does, because jack comes in hoping to talk things out and when tim is ignoring him he does this lovely move. so what does this have to do with dana? well here's the thing: dana is still only dating jack at this point. she's not married to him, she can leave at any time. if she's over at their house, there's no way she missed this happening. did she wonder why jack came back from his talk with tim with tim's tv at all? did she shrug it off when she heard him start screaming at tim (remember, drake manor is big but it's not that big)? she clearly accepted that jack grounded tim for weeks after this. she's clearly not opposed to staying in a relationship with a man who would do this to his son. which says something about her. no matter how awful jack treats tim (in front of her even) she maintains a very harmonious relationship with the man and continues to want to be in a relationship with him, so as much as she might try to surface disapprove of jack's treatment of tim, in the end she'll shrug and accept it because she won't implode her relationship with jack over his treatment of tim. she definitely prioritizes her place as jack's partner. see robin #66, jack yelling at tim for running away back to gotham city right in front of dana. she's still not married to him!! this could be a deal breaker for her and it's not!!

here's her being clearly fine and going with jack on a vacation to blizzard central chicago, il right before the holidays in the dcu holiday bash iii.

here she is being more concerned about when jack is going to ask her to marry him when he's sending tim to boarding school as punishment for no man's land in robin #74:

like none of this is mutually exclusive with her being a pretty nice step-mom to tim. just that is she's okay and is a person who wants to be in a very good relationship with jack drake, she has to be someone who accepts jack's treatment of tim. she doesn't want to actually rock the boat with jack in a way that would actually jeopardize her relationship with him, as much as she tries to soften his treatment of tim.

she's clearly okay with jack just calling tim in robin #78 to tell him they're getting married. she's popping toasting to celebrate as he does this. she never said, hey jack, maybe we should tell tim in person?

#3. dana is kind of judgemental about tim's girlfriends in defense of tim/lowkey a little sexist and she's a fair representation of a republican woman.

now, this one is fair to ignore because it was written mainly by dixon and willingham, but also the sexist things she's said/implies about them is actually fairly realistic imo because the republican older women i know have said things along the vein of things dana has said. in robin #45 she says this weird thing about ariana

by saying she is implying that she knows that ariana is actually the one at fault for this entire mess and tim has to protect her reputation and saying that ariana would have a "reputation" if it came out that she was actually the one at fault. which. maybe in the 90s, but also this is a very old, conservative viewpoint on women so.

and then in robin #124 where she defaults to blaming stephanie for corrupting tim (also, she's like "jack we shouldn't do this" but then. like. doesn't actually fight him and stop him from doing this she let's him do this. then is like sigh, guess i'll make tim's favorite lasagna rather than actually fight and stop jack from doing this).

which yea, willingham. but given that dana has defaulted to defending tim over his girlfriends in the past re: ariana, i actually think it's quite in line for a more conservative woman like dana to be super nice to their son's girlfriends up until their son potentially looks bad and then immediately turning their backs on them because or the idea that their sons ~could never~. like. i hear the following things from conservative women at least 3x/week (paraphrased):

oh, well, girls you know. they're so much more drama than boys.

my boys were so easy, but my daughter? oh god, i can't even begin with her

girls are so catty. boys are so much easier to deal with.

my son has this girlfriend. i just. i. hmmm. i just don't know about her. she's. she's. she's okay, i guess. i have some concerns.

as for how i know she's a conservative woman? she's happily and harmoniously married to jack and she's a PT in bristol township. i am 110% certain she's a registered republican. with her moral ambiguity and slighy sexism she reads as a fairly realistic conservative to me.

anyways in conclusion, i think she's actually a lot more complex than just generic good step-mom! she has a lot of failures and negative characteristics that makes her more interesting to me than just good sainted woman who puts up with jack and tim. she has her own faults. we do have to remember that she had a very good relationship with jack and saw how he treated tim and was largely okay with it. maybe jack was someone she thought she could change. maybe she agreed with him on a lot of things. jack and dana have the harmonious relationship that fandom wants jack and janet (a very volatile and ultimately ill-matched relationship) to have had!

anyways here's one final panel from robin #100 of dana saying that tim could just get a job and help out with the family finances after jack lost the company that i couldn't think of where else to put it (like, she's probably joking. but clearly this is something both she and jack find funny to joke about.)

[ofliterarynature]

AUGUST 2023 WRAP UP

[ loved liked okay no thanks DNF (reread) bookclub*]

Witch Week | A Perilous Undertaking | 2 AM At the Cat's Pajamas | The Last Sun | The Lives of Christopher Chant | The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo* | (The Angel of the Crows) | The Enchanted April | The Art of Prophecy | A Curious Beginning | Q's Legacy | The Grimoire of Grave Fates | Charmed Life | Ocean's Echo | (Band Sinister) | (Unfit to Print) | Camp Damascus | Wanted, A Gentleman | Translation State | The Mistress of Bhatia House

I’m late I’m late I’m late! Oops

It’s only a month late, right? ‘Only’ lol, work has been exhausting! Anyways:

At this point I wonder if Ann Leckie can ever do wrong, Translation State was good! I was completely enthralled, which is all I ask, even if I don’t get as passionate about it as the main trilogy.

I continued the KJ Charles reading, with these supposed stand alones that are also kind of related? Honestly it’s no less of a stretch than Society of Gentlemen to Lilywhite Boys, so I don’t know why she can’t officially list them together. Anyways, mostly fine, and Band Sinister is still a delight!

Camp Damascus…I’m thrilled for Chuck, really, and I think he’s a delight to follow, but this one wasn’t for me. Religious trauma is turning out to be a hard no.

Ocean’s Echo was good! In some ways I definitely thought it was better than Winter’s Orbit - miscommunication is the worst I’m sorry, this story was more consistently engaging! I just like the characters from WO a bit more.

Chrestomanci! I’ve been going by the suggested reading order on Goodreads, and while I wasn’t particularly enthused by Charmed Life, once I had a grasp on the world the other books have been fun! Im very sad this might be my last DWJ, as I seem to have exhausted my library’s collection of her audiobooks :(

Grimoire of Grave Fates had a really interesting premise that lured me in, despite my reservations - an anthology where all the stories work together to solve the mystery of a murder at a magic boarding school? I thought it worked fairly well (and could definitely spin itself out into a series of novels), but just ok for me. Maybe one day I’ll finally concede I can’t read YA or boarding school books anymore.

Q’s Legacy was the last (I think) of the 84 Charing Cross Road books, and honestly the worst. It had its interesting moments, but it lacked the cohesion of the other two, speed,-running the before and during of those stories, to then spend the second half on the adaptations. It was not at all what the descriptions led me to expect. Maybe worth a single read but not a revisit.

I will also be honest, I didn’t really like the first Veronica Speedwell! The plot felt a bit contrived, and Veronica was so blunt as to almost read as rude or mean. Also very unexpectedly…clinically horny? Does that make sense? I’m not quite sure what prompted me to continue, but I’m now several books in and enjoying it! To be blunt myself, the historic setting is just set dressing, the plots can feel contrived, the mysteries are mediocre, but the real draw is the Veronica and Stoker show once they get themselves settled in and comfortable with each other. It’s a hoot.

I’d heard good things about The Art of Prophecy, but I still didn’t know quite what to expect going in. It was wonderful. Maybe a little long, but if you’re looking for a fantastic fantasy with lots of fight sequences, no romance, and some fascinating characters, this is a great read. The sequel comes out soon and I can only hope it doesn’t take as long for my library to get the audiobook as it did for this one.

I don’t know where I first found An Enchanted April, but it’s been on my TBR for a little bit, and I thought it would be the perfect fit for my classics challenge I gave myself this year! It wasn’t what I expected at all - it’s entirely character driven and very focused on their flaws, and the entire first half I thought I was going to hate it. But the second half, there’s a twist, almost, born of some very  naïve optimism that nonetheless works out. Very improbably, but I was happy for them, you funky little weirdos. 

What can I say about The Angel of the Crows except that it is still very good! It’s maybe lost a little of the shine it held when I got obsessed with it for a few months last year, but it is definitely now one of my comfort books. I really ought to read more canon Holmes though lol.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo was, to be fair, one of my suggestions for book club. It was OK, but there were definitely parts that really did not work for me, the frame narrative in particular. The other members of the club really liked it but I don’t have any plans to read more of the authors work.

I’m almost tempted to put The Last Sun last just so I can yell more. I’d heard such good things about this series, but turns out my expectations were a bit skewed - it is not historical or secondary fantasy world, oops. So we got off to a bit of a rough start, not to mention all of the Capital Words. Not usually a good sign. And while I still wouldn’t say I love the worldbuilding necessarily, or that these are the next great work of fantasy, the action is really great, and the characters are flipping fantastic. You’ve got a pair of 30 year olds who are bad ass fighters, have a traumatic past, are immature assholes, can be so so kind, and accidentally adopt a posse of troubled teenagers? Sign me up, I love them, this reminds me so much of my days reading tons of Teen Wolf fanfic AUs.

My history with 2 AM At the Cat's Pajamas is that they cannot stop recommending this thing on the Book Riot podcasts. When I found a copy at Goodwill, I thought surely it’s meant to be! Well. It was not bad, but it was not great. I don’t know. It just wasn’t for me and I will not be keeping my copy. I probably should have DNF’d it, but I continued in hope.

Only one actual DNF this month though, The Mistress of Bhatia House - the newest Perveen Mistri book. I was actually fairly excited for it despite my reservations about the earlier books, but I hit a mental roadblock with this one. There was some contrived feeling tension with her sister-in-law, but really, I realized that one of my main problems with this series is that, despite being in a very precarious social position, Perveen is just incredibly reckless - usually in the name of doing good! - but it just hit all the wrong nerves at the moment. I’m hoping there will be a better time to read this, but not right now. 

[1lostsoul0fishbowl]

annual writing self-evaluation 📝

Many thanks and muchas smooches to @justhere4thevibez for tagging me! 🥰

1. List of works published this year (in no particular order):

chapters 56-84 of With a Little Help From My Friends (completed 5/15/23)

Next Time I Fall (24 chapters, completed 12/19/23)

Lost and Found and Turned Around (7 chapters, completed 11/16/23)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

I’m incredibly proud of all my works, but I think probably I’m most proud of Next Time I Fall. I created a brand new rarepair, shaped a beautiful fluffy love story for them, and persevered through extreme personal difficulty to finish the fic despite the temptation to abandon it.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

There are a couple of chapters in Little Help that I feel aren’t as strong as they could’ve been. 64, 73, and 81 in particular. I don’t know what I should’ve done to make them better; I just know they needed more.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I’ll pick one little snippet from each fic…

Little Help:

Wayne waited until she’d finished her tiny blueberry slice and was debating over which to try next. “Actually, sugar,” he said quietly to Max, “I wanted to talk to you about that.”

“About what?” she asked, puzzled. “About gaining weight? That was a joke.”

“No.” He watched Eddie let Lucy lick a tiny smear of pie filling from his finger, despite Chrissy’s protest that sugar wasn’t good for cats. “About staying with us.”

A chill ran through her. “It’s still okay, right?” she said hesitantly. “My mom’s getting out of the rehab next week, but Claudia said I could stay longer if I needed to. But if that’s changed…” She trailed off, swallowing hard.

Wayne patted her shoulder. “Naw, sugar, that ain’t changed. You can stay long as you like. Fact is”— he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly bashful— “fact is, what we really want is to keep you for good.”

~~~

Next Time I Fall:

Gareth couldn’t imagine having to grow up without his mom and dad. He thought of the way Janie held so tightly to his mom every time they hugged, and a lump formed in his throat.

“They never found your parents?” he whispered. “Baby, I’m so sorry.”

Honestly, he hadn’t even thought before speaking, he’d just blurted that out. But somehow it had been the right thing to say; Eddie and Chrissy’s tense expressions melted into something that looked like relief, and Janie’s crushing grip on his hand finally relaxed a little. Gareth laced his fingers through hers, giving her hand a little squeeze, before gently turning it to examine the small number tattooed on the inside of her wrist.

“Is that where this came from?” He lifted her hand to his lips, softly kissing the tiny 011. “Did they do that to you in the Lab?”

She nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks. “It was my name,” she murmured. “That is why everyone calls me El. El is short for Eleven.”

Fucking hell. Gareth felt tears running down his cheeks, too.

~~~

Lost and Found:

“Jane, you need to wake up!” Kali tried unsuccessfully not to shout. “You really are naive! They can always take you if they really want you. You need to face facts. Your policeman cannot protect you, you have to be able to protect yourself. Are your friends helping you with that? Is your boyfriend? No, they just want you to be ‘normal’. They want you to suppress your gifts instead of using them, and they want you to forget who you are and where you came from. And if I stay here they’ll do the same to me. Putting on their hypocritical smiles as long as I convert to their idea of normal. I don’t want to hide who I am, and neither should you, Jane. You can’t heal by hiding. The only way to heal is to face up to the truth, confront and conquer your past.”

“Stop calling me naive,” Jane snapped, “just because I am trying to accept my past instead of confronting it. I confronted Papa face to face, and then I let him die, and it did not change anything. All your revenge has not changed you either.” Just as quickly as her anger flared up, it dissipated again. Her voice softened, her entire demeanor settling into something more gentle. “You talk a lot about healing, but you are still so mad, Kali. I think I am more healed than you are. Maybe if you stayed here, as part of my family, maybe that can heal you like it did for me.”

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

I love every single comment I get, truly I do. But I think the ones that made me smile the most this year were the few on Next Time I Fall that basically said ‘I never would’ve considered El and Gareth together but your fic made me ship them’. Is there any greater compliment? 😄

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Basically the last eight weeks have been awful. I got covid, and had barely recovered from that when a family emergency happened and I was thrown into the role of caregiver, and since then just more and more stuff keeps going wrong. I’m exhausted and honestly in a pretty dark place, mentally and emotionally, right now.

And yet. In spite of that I finished both Next Time and Lost and Found. Neither of them seem to have made any great impact— I barely even got any comments on either finale— but it was a goal of mine to finish them both and I’m still proud I managed to achieve that.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Kali, in Lost and Found, was so much fun to explore! I rewatched “The Lost Sister” before I started writing this fic, and I realized that I still hated her obnoxious friends but Kali herself was a super interesting character with a lot of potential. I had a lot of fun digging into what might possibly make her want to reconnect with El, and what would make her feel drawn to Steve. Also it surprised me how much I ship Stali now!

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I learned that my stories come out better when I write them the way I want them, instead of “taking requests” and pushing the characters in directions I wouldn’t have chosen if left to my own devices. I feel like certain parts of Little Help suffered because of this, so I resolved I’d stick to my own plans for Next Time and later Lost and Found, and I think those two fics came out better for it.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

Next year, if I write any more, I want to somehow learn not to be so obsessed with stats. Stop comparing my kudos/comments count to other fics and feeling sad and inadequate. I have no idea how to accomplish this, but it’s where I need to be if I’m going to keep writing.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Oh it’s 1000% @pearlypairings — she’s been all of the above for me and so much more! Lost and Found would never have happened without her, and Next Time would likely have been abandoned unfinished.

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

Lots of things, yeah, I don’t think I can help adding little bits and pieces of myself to my stories. I write the kind of world I’d like to see, and populate it with characters I either want to be like or wish I’d had in my own life.

A very silly specific example, though, is that I made Eddie adopt a kitten because I lost my cat last year and I missed her so much.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Um. Not really? I don’t think I’m good enough yet to be passing on wisdom to others!!!

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I have a couple fun ideas jotted down in my Plot Bunnies folder, but no definite plans to start anything new right now. I gotta get out of this awful headspace before I can even think about new projects.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

@sokkas-first-fangirl @bratanimus @slowandsteddie

[ask-missparker]

Lord, Show Me How Say No To This | Marvel blurb

He cheated on me with some agent named Katherine Davon. I walked into his office to talk with him about a brief meeting coming up and found them on the couch chatting—then they kissed!

My first love turned out to be my last…

All those years of love, sweat and tears showing him my world only to give it over to another woman.

I should’ve known…

From the day Katherine walked into SHIELD, she was all kind, snarky and dressed like a boss ass bitch. I knew I couldn’t completely go up against some women like her.

Nikolai must’ve heard the door slam shut as he rushed after me and into the hallway of the SHIELD main area.

He caught me in tears as I shakes my head yelling from him to let go.

“Mia, love, let me explain.”

“Explain what? Huh? I saw what you did.”

“She came at me! She came into my office and asked for help on a assignment..and I did..then we started talking.”

“How long has this been happening?”

“I wish I say it was the first time..but it became a past time..”

“Y-yo—you been doing this for weeks?! You come home every night to me and when I’m out of sight, she’s there..”

He stopped for a moment, hearing how hurt she sounds as he answered, “Yeah, she is…you have been gone for weeks, I was alone and tired..”

“I beg you to take a break and you refused to! You told you to come with me, you said no…I was sad without..” She replies with a sigh.

“But not sad enough to pull me out of my office huh?”

“I..um, you are blaming me? Okay, fine..I hope she treated you better than I thought...”

“Well, her mouth were on mine and I couldn’t say no.”

That one line caught a rift of silence between the two of them. No words could describe the fact that they were heartbroken..

I couldn’t remember if I saw him smile as he said those words or not. But all I remember is that his eyes were laced with a pain and sorrow, as if he regrets his actions but proud of them all the same.

After a moment I spoke, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean come off as strong as I did…I am so sorry if I messed up as your girlfriend.. but it doesn’t change how I feel about you..”

“..that you hate me for cheating on you?” He asked me, fixing his collar.

“No..I mean, yes..but I still love you. Despite my thoughts, I love you…”

“You should know, it started weeks before that mission..she was my partner a couple of months before during a long trip to Russia..we were alone and we talked..but I never once stopped to wondered what you would think of me for it..”

“…does anyone else know?”

“No. I didn’t know how to say no to it.”

“Mhmm..”

“Just me and her..if it makes you feel any better, I still love you, Mia, please know that..”

“I know you do..I will try to do better..I will stop going on missions, take less hours and be just there..”

“Mia, don’t. I won’t cost you to cut your hours in half for me. I made a mistake! I didn’t come to you when I should have.

“I know, but you need to make the decision Nik..are you still here with me on this? Can you say no her?”

With that, Nik was silent again. I couldn’t tell you what was going on his head, even if I tried. I know I messed up here, not coming in to check on him as often as possible. I called those weeks I was gone and he always talked me with on his day, how he was feeling and such.

But he lied to me how he truly felt. I knew I could be forgetful but want to handle everything at times, but i would have like to see him make the effort to balance the weight of the situation.

But instead, he kept to himself. It wasn’t worth standing in the middle of the halls waiting for his answer.

All I knew is that I had to do better. I broke a promise.

We both did.

I pressed a hand on his chest and kissed his cheek as I mumbled softly, “I’ll see you at home.”

With that I walked away.

———

————

// Soooo what we think?

Tags: @missstrawbs2001 @purpleprincessonfyre @meiramel @gcthvile @rickb-chaos s @gaminggirlsstuff @wizzzardofoz @thechoooooosenone @luna-d-marsh @rooster-84 @thecavalrywife @cherrysft and etc

[lannisterdaddyissues]

I want to enable your BillRita screaming so for those ship asks...

How do they sleep?

What's their most and least favorite thing about each other?

How are they with PDA?

What's their favorite thing to tease each other about?

What little things remind them of each other?

I would apologize for how many of these things I sent but we both know I'm not sorry...

OHHHHHHH HEATHER YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU’VE ENABLED ME WITH THIS I’M FROTHING AT THE FUCKING MOUTHHHHHHH GRGSHGRHFJGHASRJGHASJFHSAGRJSFSGAS YOU KNOW I LOVE THEM!!! YOU KNOW I DO!!!!

IM SORRY THIS TOOK 84 YEARS BTW AND THERES A LOT OF TONAL DISSONANCE IN THIS BECAUSE I WAS BEING SILLY AT FIRST BUT THEN I GOT SO FUCKING SERIOUS ABOUT THIS YOU KNOW HOW I AM AHRESGAKJHJSGKHALSJGKHFASG ANYWAY-

im putting this under a cut because it is. so fucking long. im so sorry for my mental illness

3. What's their favorite thing to tease each other about? AHHHHHH i think we all know rita will bully bill over anything and everything because she's just. so mean to him 😭 but i think her favorite thing to make fun of him for is his accent, or really just his being american in general because i think he’d be the most stereotypical american guy lol. he has a silly, dumb american accent and he likes silly, dumb american sports and silly, dumb american food! rita pretends to find his Americanisms™ exasperating but privately she thinks they're funny lmao

as for bill, his favorite thing to tease rita about is how messy she is. i’ve already said it, but rita being a messy bitch and bill being a neat freak is one of my favorite headcanons about them sjdfhskjgffjs… you’d think being in the army would’ve taught rita how to put things away but no, bill finds her bras and stuff lying around all the time and it was awkward at first but he’s gotten used to it now, so he lets her have her little rebellion against army regulations and politely pretends that isn’t her. uh. underwear. wedged between the couch cushions next to him when he sits down to do Important Media Relations Major Stuff™ on his computer 😳

5. How do they sleep? they sleep back to back because it's a show of trust and vulnerability for both of them... blubbubbublbddlwwbwudfbfbldludubldublub;;,.,$$.,$,&.,., goodbye... i'm crying now...

of course, by the time the morning rolls around bill is normally lying half on top of rita and drooling a bit on her shirt, which isn’t super sexy but bill will be bill 🤷‍♀️

7. What's their most and least favorite thing about each other? AHHHHHH oh my god. i have to think long and hard about this and it sounds like a cop-out but i truly don't think bill really has a favorite thing about rita. if you ask him what it is, he will actually spontaneously combust from thinking too hard.

but the short answer is her smile!!! he works so fucking hard to make her smile—cracking jokes, doing nice things for her, earning her praise by proving his competence—and he swears it lights up the entire room whenever he can get her to do it!!! 😭 and if he can get her to laugh? he won’t be able to think about anything else but that sound for DAYS

on the other hand, his least favorite thing about her is…well, probably her optimism. she's not very good at it. in fact, most of the time it just makes him feel worse whenever she tells him he’ll just have to try harder next time! like gee, thanks rita! he was already doing that but he’ll take it into consideration… just like he did the last time… and the time before that… and before that…

when it comes to rita though, she would never, even on pain of death, say anything sappy like her “favorite thing” about bill where someone else can hear her, but i think her favorite thing about him is—surprisingly, since it’s his least favorite thing about her—his optimism.

for her, it’s just been so long since she was able to enjoy things without feeling guilt or some kind of loss, but bill somehow never lost that. which certainly isn’t to say he didn’t acquire his fair share of trauma or grief or loss along the way, but he remains steadily resilient in the face of adversity even in the very last iteration—“we’ve had worse :)”—and that strikes a chord with her, i think. then, slowly, being around someone so stubbornly happy despite carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders starts to not only impress her, but it heals her. with his help, she learns to enjoy things again: the delight of a good meal after years of carrying a bad aftertaste in her mouth, the comfort of a spacious hotel room and a soft bed after sleeping on the ground for god knows how long, the satisfaction of a healthy jog just around the block after spending years running at a sprint with no breaks. the all-consuming joy of someone knowing her the way she never dreamed anyone would ever know her again after before. the relief of not having to think about 'before' anymore because now she has an 'after' to look forward to instead.

ahem. sorry. i got carried away for a second.

that being said, her least favorite thing about bill is easy to pin down and that is his complete and utter lack of dignity LOL... rita can say for absolute certain she has never met a man with as little pride as bill cage, and although he is rather funny and makes for surprisingly good company on a quiet day, he is often ridiculously embarrassing to be around and can be very difficult when he doesn’t want to do something because he’s being a chicken about it🙄

14. What little things remind them of each other? ohhhhhhh 🥺🥺🥺 i apologize because u will get a LOT of sappiness for this but-

on bill's side, he is reminded of rita in everything, but mainly in their experiences together. he sees her in a young woman's loosely braided hair as she passes him on the street. he sees her in his coffee cup when the waitress taking his order asks if he wants sugar or cream. he sees her in the sun at 6:45pm exactly, when he and rita sat together on the fence outside the farmhouse and watched it disappear over the horizon. in his lifetime, he's experienced everything with her, and he probably has as many things to remember her by as there are stars in the cosmos.

of course, he's reminded of her in other ways as well. things she taught him. he thinks of her when he looks to the sun to check the time rather than turning over his wrist, just like she taught him. he thinks of her when he does his stretches at the gym, just like she taught him. he thinks of her when he checks all his exits every time he enters a room and someone closes the door, just like she taught him. everything he knows he learned from her and for her.

it's harder for rita though, because she doesn't have anything to remember him by, so she remembers the little things instead: his preferences and whatnot. she pretends not to care when he tells her where he's from or what his favorite color is, but she thinks of him when his favorite baseball team is shown on television, or when she goes for a walk in the park and it starts to rain even though it's sunny out because sunshowers make him smile the brightest :')

26. How are they with PDA? UGHRGRHREHGHUDRHGJSHRKHASG DONT MAKE ME THINK ABOUT ESTABLISHED BILLRITA AND PDA ILL EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no but bill has ALWAYS been a pda guy that much is so obvious!! i think he was always chasing something real with his old girlfriends, and even if it never felt like much with them, it was better than nothing... and then he fell head over ass into the mimic war and the closest thing to PDA he got was a kick in the gut or the barrel a gun trained on his temple, so surely no one can fault him for craving comfort, reassurance, intimacy—anything to take him away from the reality he was living in for even 5 seconds.

...and this did not answer the question at all which is to say bill is SO fucking annoying (affectionate) about pda 😭 rita please hold his hand please kiss him on the forehead please cuddle him he wants to hold you he wants you to hold him PLEASE!!! he will actually die if you don't and then you'll be sad (he hopes) :'(

meanwhile rita is a fan of pda in the way cats are a fan of anything. she either wants all the fucking pda or none of it. if she's not the one initiating, bill is Not the one getting it 😔

[emilykaldwen]

how do you make a original character for a fanfic?

Anon, I'm sorry for delay in answering this but you see, when you dropped this into the inbox, I legit sat up and went 'My Time Has Come'. You can ask my citadel girlies (gender-neutral) about my passion for character creation because I like to smack them in the face with it (affectionately) on the regular. And here's the thing, I'm nowhere near the Word on how to do this. In fact, I am genuinely surprised to have gotten this ask. So thank you? I'm glad you like my writing!

There's like, five million ways I could do this sort of breakdown, touching on internalized misogyny and why we connect with the media we do and how this all ties into our mental health at the time but I don't think that's what you're asking about, so I'm gonna pull back on myself and talk about how I create original characters for Fic.

I feel like character creation, especially in fanfic is such a nuanced discussion that I don't think has really been talked about but we'll be here for 84 years if I launch into this now.

ALL OF THIS IS MY OWN OPINION. I'm just a rando on the internet and have my own approaches and opinions on things. If you feel like I'm specifically calling you out, I can assure you, I'm not, and I will not entertain people getting snippy at me because they want to be offended because they think I criticized them personally on the internet.

SO! HOW DO I CREATE AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER FOR FAN FICTION?

Questions, my friend, and the most important one is:

Why am I creating this character?

You need to be honest with yourself. Only yourself. Not the answer you think people will want to hear, or the one that you'll be least embarrassed to share. There are no wrong answers here, creativity comes from so many places within us. THIS SETS THE EXPECTATION.

Why am I creating this character? Is it because you have a crush on the actor? Is it because you want to be the pretty princess and have everyone fawn and fall in love with you? Is it because everyone is stupid in this story and someone needs to clean up the mess? Is it because you see a gap in the story that you feel should be told? All? None?

(In my opinion, the only 'wrong' answer is that you're creating a self-insert avatar to punish yourself. I've been there. It was not a great place, but I wasn't in therapy at the time. I eventually got over punishing myself in fic form)

For me, character creation comes from trying to add something to the story. The existence of my character should have interesting ramifications through the story. For me, if I'm going through the trouble of creating a character that fits into this world, I want them to have effect and change. There should be change. If nothing is changing in the story, then I'll just go read/watch the source material than sit around making someone who basically boils down to a spectator of what's happening.

Characters in our stories are real. They are living and breathing.

Example 1: I have an OC, Myranda Greyjoy. Instead of flying to Storm's End, Aemond flies to Pyke and brings her back to King's Landing. You know what that means? Vhagar doesn't go chomp on Luke, and Luke likely makes it back home unharmed or stays the night at Storm's End until it's safer to fly. So that means blood and cheese doesn't happen, and the war doesn't kick off immediately (which follows canon in terms of Luke's death being the trigger for blood and cheese which in turn means no one is gonna back down).

Example 2: In one of my original drafts of The Maiden and the Drowning Boy, Abby was at Harrenhal when Daemon took the castle (in Fire & Blood, this happens before Storm's End). In the book, Aemond is sent to Storm's End to treat with Borros, but if I kept this event in the fic, it would be in character for Aegon to mount Sunfyre and grab Aemond to go fuck Daemon up because his wife, the Queen, is being held by the enemy. Now, while this is super interesting, it had the potential to cut the dance of dragons down real short and quite frankly? I didn't want to deviate too much from the original dance in terms of some major events because that means that i have to come up with all of that stuff too. My ass doesn't have time for that. (but it's a cool idea)

Okay, so you know why you're creating your OC for whatever reason. Here's the next thing to understand:

CREATING YOUR CHARACTER/STORY FOR POPULARITY/VIRAL/EVERYONE MUST READ THIS IS ONLY GOING TO LEAD TO HEARTBREAK.

You've heard it time and again: write for yourself! and you're like the fuck does that mean asshole? I know, I know! And I really have to thank the AO3 Subreddit for helping me clarify what this means and how it impacts me.

Engagement is Down across the board, across all fandoms. It has nothing to do with you as a writer, it has no reflection on the quality of your work.

Comments are rare. Sometimes they never happen. It fucking sucks. I hate it. I've heard friends go into the lack of comment engagement. Validation is nice. We thrive on it! It feels so good to be told how awesome your work is, what people connected with, etc.

You cannot write for the comments. You cannot write for the external validation. You cannot maintain a sense of stable mental health if you are focused on the feedback.

So find your people.

I found mine! I've been working on my fic since NaNo in November 2022 and am only just now getting ready to start publishing, and I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't because my fic made my one friend happy. Now? I have a handful of people that I've cultivated real friendships with that support and cheer me on just as I support and cheer them on. They're my audience. Everyone else? Are fantastically appreciated extra dessert.

(Perfectionism is a real thing that so many of us actually do struggle with and if you're not meeting the specific standard that you think you should be meeting because you're a better writer than that super popular fic, you are going to make yourself miserable)

So what does this all boil down to?

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

You do not have to put some deep political dramatic plot scaffolding around your story in order for your OC to be taken seriously and so you can be 'allowed' to have your OC and the canon character hook up. This is YOUR story. You get to write what you want! You get to see how this story will go!

but if you want people to be receptive to your OC and the story at large, then you need to work on making your character living and breathing in the story.

Rattle test! Have a few friends who are trusted to talk through your character and plot and make sure they aren't afraid to ask the hard questions.

Me: Should Jace accidentally punch Abby in this scene cause she tried to get between them Me and Friend at the same time: Aegon would kill him, let's not do that.

I had another possible plot line where this other character was flirting with Aegon. It sounded cool in my head! but talking through it, it just really didn't work out or make much sense.

Anyway, I can go on and on about this subject, and probably write a whole thesis on this delving into how character creation in fan works should be an act of love, not self punishment, and how internalized misogyny plays a huge role in why people are usually averse to reading OC fan fic (in that I mean, the OCs often hate other women, are 'not like other girls' but everyone loves them, etc).

It's hard creating OCs to get people to read them. There's a ton of people out there who simply will not read OC work on principal.

But a final note:

Original characters =/= Reader Inserts. By that I mean, the whole reader fic genre is written specifically for the reader to imagine themselves in the situation. Original characters may be an author insert, but they are not the reader cipher. also original character =/= author insert either, but also you should be totes honest with yourself if you are writing your own insert. It's not a bad thing, it just gives your expectations.