#it has screwed me over so many times and has brought me a lot of grief

[tyttamarzh]

Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter.

This will probably be very long, so if you want to read it, go grab some popcorn and get comfortable.

I have to talk about this because it's eating me up inside. I think I shouldn't give so much importance to comments coming from sewers like Twitter and much less Tiktok, but it makes me so sick (and I'm such a masochist that I even spend time looking for the shit they say to make me angrier and debate them xD).

I am very happy that it was finally made official, with papers certified by the federation, that Tallulah is the daughter of Philza and Missa, I think that was not entirely necessary for them, because they had assumed it for a long time (let's assume that Tallulah needed the pappers to end her W arc), although I suppose that more than anything it was done for those people who still cannot accept it or who deny the paternity of Phil and Missa (With Missa, although it bothers me, I can even understand it, he He hasn't been as present and many people don't know him, but god, it would be a crime to deny Tallulah's paternity to Phil, the man who has kept her alive and given everything for her throughout her life).

I'm glad that, although I have seen negative comments, the majority have been positive (even if it hurts them, it doesn't matter, it's official, screw them). Mainly, the negative comments have been from defenders of W and their arguments are so poor and weak that they are easily refuted. It is obvious that these people do not know Tallulah and have never met her, many do not even know how things turned out and say nonsense like that the current Llulah is an imposter, that it is not fair that they "rewrote" history and erased W (which It is false, Llulah's words make it clear that history was never changed, she simply moved on and that person remained in the past).

I refuted all those arguments on Twitter but screw Twitter, I hate the fucking character limit. So I'm going to expand (I have a lot of poison to get out of my skin). I have some points:

1- "That's not Tallulah" Of course it is her, those who witnessed her life and her growth during the year that passed, can realize that this was her natural evolution. She is the same girl who grew up overcoming her limitations, who suffered, who felt alone, who had abandonment problems, who everyone saw as a poor abandoned girl and who found comfort next to someone who has always loved her like a father and a brother who gave everything for her.

2- "They erased all her lore" No. Tallulah's lore is the one she built with Philza and Chayanne over the course of the year they lived together. Her relationship with W and her longing for him was only part of her story (although people made a lot of emphasis on that), but it was not the only thing that defined her, it never was and only people who never got to met her think that. They see her like an extension of that other person, as the only thing that kept him on the server, but did not see her as an individual character and definitely did not watch Phil's Vods and they never really knew her lore.

3-"How do they explain this in the lore?" Simple, there was someone in her life, someone who was her first father, but who spent very little time with her, who left a long time ago and who is currently no longer part of her life. She learned to let go of the past and focused in the family she has in the present, the family that loves her, that watched her grow up, that makes her happy and gives her security to believe in herself and that is the Death Family, Chayanne, Philza and Missa. Time passes, not all people stay, treasure those who are by your side and let go of what never brought you anything but pain.

4- "They should have created another egg and replaced her" Why replaceher? It has no sense or reason. She is a character who built her own story with her family, a story that never really involved that other person other than with one or another sporadic mention, why eliminate a character that evolved by itself? Little by little she separated herself from what she was at the beginning and that bond that she had with that first father was practically non-existent. What would be the point of eliminating it or replace her with another new character?

5- "No matter what other parents and appearance give her, she will always belong to W because she still carries the name he gave her" No. She never belonged to him. She lived with that man for 2 days and apart from leaving him the promise of a reunion, she did not contribute anything else to her life. She formed her own path, her passion for music was not because of him, it was something she already had before, her love for nature, for animals, everything was built in the days she lived with Philza (even with uncle Bad). She suffered for her first father but she moved on, she matured, she discovered her link with death and her powers as a medium, she acquired her own personality and little by little she built the Tallulah she is now.

She never belonged to anyone but herself and she always fought to prove that, but people insisted on dumping trauma on her and reminding her that she was an abandoned child waiting for someone who at a certain point was nothing more than an idealized dream, because There was never a real relationship between them, they never lived together long enough. She little by little made her decisions and chose the people she wanted to be her parents (and it's not that she had few options, Quackity, Bad and even F wanted to adopt her at the time and asked them to, but she was not a girl who was looking for parents). She could choose and she chose Philza, the person who had always been there for her and later she chose Missa, someone who despite not knowing her very well gave her his love unconditionally and gave her security when she needed it. Then she was able to feel the warmth of being part of a complete family.

6- "They should change her name because W gave her that name! That impostor is not Tallulah!" Why? Her name is not anyone's intellectual property, at the time it was given to her, it belonged to her for better or worse and yes, in some way it will always be a tie to her past, but a past she has already left behind and managed to overcome by creating new memories and dreams.

To a certain extent I understand those who became attached to her because she reminded them of that other person, but if they couldn't see her as her own character, it means that they never cared enough to make the effort to get to know her.

It would shock us all if a character we liked suddenly changed drastically and left behind what like us in the first place. But if they had really watched her, they would have realized that the change was not sudden, it was gradual.

She found in Phil a protective and understanding father who always put her and her brother before anything else, who suffered with her her pain and outbursts of frustration due to the depression caused by the absence of her first father. She found in Missa a cute and loving father who always showers her with love and helps her to have confidence in herself. She doesn't lack anything with them. She has closed a cycle of pain in her life and now she can heal.

She chose the look that makes her feel finally free to be herself, whatever the external reasons that led to that, she finally has a future ahead of her unbound by the past and prefers to be more like the people she considers her family now. If you can't see what all of this really meant to Tallulah and her evolution, it's because you never cared to see even 20% of her story. Well, since the middle of last year she began her journey to break away from a name and be herself, fighting to be seen for who she was.

If those people decide to continue supporting someone despite his shit, that is their right, but the server and the admin were also within their right to decide to kick him out and want to distance themselves from a person they consider unpleasant.

7-There were comments of another type, mainly from people who are really very lost with the lore, people who consider her the daughter of Quackity, even confusing her with Tilín (saying that Q didn't know if she was the daughter of W or Luzu and that she should get a DNA test), when we all know that from the beginning she was W's daughter as a single father and that the only reason Quackity could have become Tallulah's father was if to marry W, but that never happened, W didn't come back and Quackity was never able to develop that relationship with Llulah, she considered him a possible father because she knew W loved him, but Q always being kidnapped or something, they never really related much. There are people who, even with a certificate, continue to insist that Tallulah should have been given to Quackity to raise with Luzu (she had a tender interaction with Luzu and people were already asking him to adopt her, saying that she was alone and had no parents, I seriously hate them!) I shouldn't take seriously people who obviously haven't seen Philza even once and I know that many of those people are hispanic and are limited by the language barrier but if they don't have the slightest idea They shouldn't give their opinion… Tallulah is not an object to be passed from hand to hand, she chose and in order to do so she had to go through a very long and painful arc.

8- I firmly believe that it is a great win to now have a certificate that endorses who the people she considers her parents are, but I insist, it was not necessary, because that has been known for a long time and I am sure that if it was created it was to close the mouth mouth to all those people who are not capable of accepting that.

Tallulah is the daughter of Philza and Missa (and no one else), she is part of the Death Family, that is her story, it is not a whim, a whim is continuing to link her to something she is no longer a part of or wanting to make her a part of a lore that never happened or wanting to give her other parents different from the ones she grew up with (Quackity already had Tilín, Richas and now Pepito, I don't think she needs more children and Tallulah doesn't need any more shitty drama in her life).

Tallulah is a beautiful being, both with her old look and with the new and as Missa says "She deserves only the beautiful things in the world"

Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! And I can shout it a thousand times because it's true and she always was, but now it's certified by the government and no amount of complaining or tantrums can change that fact.

Sorry for my bad english. See you!! jajaja ando re agresiva, pero es que nadie se mete con mi familia xD

[bigmammallama5]

For me, one of the worst aspects of ADHD is memory issues. I find it interfers so much more than executive disfunction, as I can at least force my brain to work under the right circumstances.

I can't do that with my memory

My memory is definitely the worst symptom of my ADHD (other than probably RSD and some other things but I gotta find a therapist for that lol), and I envy other people with ADHD who don't struggle with that aspect as much as I do. And for those who may not have ADHD, let me try to explain what I deal with because I do wish it was a funny thing but most often it's not lol.

It's not just that I forget where I put my phone down, it's I forget why I enter I a room and literally have to walk back my steps to find it despite there only being three places in my small apartment it would be. It's telling myself three times to take something with me to the clay studio to show another student and I forget 3 weeks in a row despite having it right next to the front door. It's my family telling me something important and I just don't retain it, and then they stop telling me things (this has improved again now that I'm on medicine, but I was the last person to find out a lot of things the past few years bc they wouldn't tell me bc I wouldn't remember, which hurts). It's my mind wiping blank in the middle of a sentence when I hit a certain word which results in varying degrees of embarrassment and understanding depending on who I'm talking to. It's my eye skipping over a spelling error no matter how many times I know it's there and I need to change it, I just forget (there are a lot of stupid errors in all my fics because of this, maybe one day i'll get to fixing them). It's learning someone's name correctly taking weeks to stick, and then somehow flipping the spelling because I know other people with that name spelled differently and I remember that spelling as "correct" (I'm glad we have name tags on our clay cubbies in the studio, it's saved me some embarrassing encounters, which was something I had to train myself into doing). It's being able to recall what someone said to me word for word six years ago but I can't remember what my mother told me three days ago. It's remembering a multitude of old vines verbatim, but I couldn't tell you what important news story I watched last night.

It's being able to sit down and talk to you guys clearly and thoughtfully like the intelligent person I can be, and then having my knees taken out from under me in real conversation because my mind just wipes blank. But yeah, I can at least work through my executive disfunction too with the right prodding lol.

[oleander-nin]

Valen-Time 01: Hand Sewn(Rise! Raph x Reader)

A/N, not important: Guess who's writing for 29 days straight again! Or, I'm attempting to at least. This is what I needed lots of luck on lol, mostly because February is a bit busy for me, but I really wanted to do this again for Valentine's day. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

CW: needles(sewing), stitching, teddy bear, fluff(hopefully)

Words: 1039

Summary: Raph tore his stuffed animal and you agree to help fix it.

Tag list(I didn't actually know if I should add it or not, but I'm going with yes for now. Tell me if you want your name off): @f1oricide @itsyagurlchip @lordfreg @acutiewithagun @rottmnttmnt2012 @lixnininotnay @lexiechr @ssak-i

The ruined stuffie in your hands made you frown, it’s torn stitching letting the stuffing that once shaped it fall out. Raph sat next to you, a tight-lipped frown on his face as his fingers twitched on his led. He watches you inspect the bear in silence, his shoulders brought forwards and touching his jaw. You don’t comment on the stench of nervous sweat filling the air, not wanting to bring down his mood even more. This was the bear you gave to him when you confessed, and now it sat ruined in your hands. While the sentimental value of it wasn’t huge to you, Raph was practically attached to this bear by the hip, which would eventually be the poor stuffies' downfall.

“I can just get you a new one, it’s not a big deal.” You assure him, trying to help bring up the large terrapin’s mood. Raph shook his head, his snaggle tooth biting into his lip as he frown deepens.

“Raph doesn’t want a new one.” He says, a tone of distress lingering in his tone. you watch as his eyes linger on the ripped stitches and protruding filling, knowing he felt bad for breaking his stuffed animal. You purse your lips, trying to decide how to move forwards. You flip the stuffed animal over, inspecting it from top to bottom. You weren’t new to fixing broken stuffies, many of your own having been patched over the years, but his spikes really did a number to the one in your hand. 

“If I were to try and sew it,” You start hesitantly, your hand caressing the black buttons the small teddy had for eyes. “I think we could patch it back up. It would look a bit messy because I don’t have extra fabric on me, but he would be fixed.”

Raph visibly brightens at the idea, his arms wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you into a tight hug. “Thank you. Dad has a sewing kit in his room, we could ask him for it.”

You fondly roll your eyes and pat his forearm twice before starting to ease the stuffing back into the bear to try and fatten it out. Your hands twitched at the scratchy feeling of the cotton, Raph’s weight on your shoulders making it harder to move your arms than you wanted. You don’t say a word though, letting Raph continue to lean on you as he watches you remove whatever stuffing refused to back down. Although his eyes hold worry for the removed stuffing, he doesn’t say a word about it. 

“Raph will go get the sewing kit.” He remarks, finally letting you go as he stands up. His chasm deepens as he glances back at the stuffed animal in your hands, but he says nothing. With no more words exchanged, Raph disappears from your room and presumably heads off to where Splinter keeps the sewing kit, leaving you alone with the bear.

You softly rub it’s torn stitching, pulling loose thread to make it easier to sew back up. Its bright eyes reflected the light above you, making the inanimate object seem as if it had life breathed into it. It's limp arm stubs laid on your knees, asking for a hug. You chuckle lightly to yourself at the thought of the bear wanting affection, as being hugged was what destroyed it in the first place. 

You continue messing with the stuffing as Raph re-enters, a small dingy shoebox so full of thread and needles and spare fabric, the lid couldn’t close. The bed dips to the side as Raph settles next to you once more, head peeking over your shoulder and hands tucked into his chest. You don’t say a word about the feeling of his breath on your neck, merely turning slightly so you wouldn’t have to deal with it as much.

“Was your dad a seamstress?” You easily tease, the bear left to lay in your lap as you start to dig through the extensive yet scattered supplies. Raph gently shoves your shoulder as he grins.

“Nope, we just kept tearing everything he gave us. Some of the baby clothes he has stashed away are basically patchwork at this point.”

You smile fondly at the thought of a younger Raph and his brothers with their clothes that were a medley of colors, having seen some of them yourself. You finally pull out brown thread and a thin needle, sticking the chosen needle into the thread of the spool so it would stay put. “Have you ever sewn before then?”

Raph shakes his head, his lower lip jutting out in a slight pout. “Nope. There wasn’t much of a need, and Dad fixed everything we ripped anyways.”

“Would you like to learn?” You offer, gesturing to the stuffie's open stomach. Raph tilts his head as he looks down at the teddy bear, considering your offer for just a moment. 

“Yeah,” He nods, looking both determined and excited. “I would.”

You beam at him, quickly shuffling around until you’re facing Raph so you could show him what to do. The bear is soon found in Raph’s lap instead of yours, the fallen stuffing in between his thighs to keep it safe. You thread the needle and wax it for him while describing to him what he was going to do, assuring him he couldn’t really mess it up even if he tried. You hand him his needle, gently guiding his hands through the first few stitches. As he continues to sew the rest on his own, you start to add the rest of the stuffing into the bear so it wouldn’t flatten.

The final stitch is soon placed, and you easily instruct Raph on how to secure it, only having to help him once before he got it. The stitch job down its stomach was sloppy, but secure, no more stuffing leaking onto the floor. You return the needle and thread and set the box onto the floor, watching fondly as Raph admires his stuffed animal. It doesn’t surprise you when Raph pulls you close, whispering his thanks into your ear. You simply smile, kissing his jaw and praising his needlework.

[bethanydelleman]

Online Discourse, Redemption Arcs, and Jane Austen

There is a story in the Bible where Jesus is brought a woman who has cheated on her spouse. The officials ask Jesus what to do, he knows they are trying to trick him into breaking the law with mercy, so he says, "Go ahead, throw rocks at her until she dies, that's the law, BUT whoever has never done anything wrong throws the first stone." Eventually everyone leaves and Jesus forgives the woman.

This post I shared a while ago really makes me think of that story, because online commentary of characters seems to so often break into two groups:

People so unforgiving, so unwilling to allow a single misstep in a character that they would start throwing stones immediately

People who will twist themselves into knots to prove that everything the character did was justified (and since we have zero backstory for the unnamed woman in this story, it would be easy to give her a sympathetic one. She did it because of trauma!)

Let's apply this to Emma Woodhouse. At Box Hill, she mildly insults an older woman, it is a poorly timed and placed joke:

“Oh! very well,” exclaimed Miss Bates, “then I need not be uneasy. ‘Three things very dull indeed.’ That will just do for me, you know. I shall be sure to say three dull things as soon as ever I open my mouth, shan’t I? (looking round with the most good-humoured dependence on every body’s assent)—Do not you all think I shall?” Emma could not resist. “Ah! ma’am, but there may be a difficulty. Pardon me—but you will be limited as to number—only three at once.”

There are basically two reactions to this insult: BURN EMMA AT THE STAKE and Eh, not that bad. Now I think with this particular insult, it really wasn't that bad and we are told about the surrounding extenuating circumstances that caused Emma to slip up. However, I'm probably wrong because Emma does feel guilty and she does make amends. While she does not directly apologize, it's clear in the novel that what she did was a relationship repair.

What makes me feel like a crazy person is how many people throw first stones! How many people are SHOCKED by what Emma said and they could NEVER imagine insulting Miss Bates in such a cruel way! Get over yourself! I feel fairly certain that every human being on earth over 25 had insulted someone to the same level as Emma has insulted Miss Bates. That doesn't mean it is excusable, Emma should apologize and so should we, but I'm left amazed by how many people feel blameless in the face of this extremely human and relatable error.

And yes, it makes me wonder about forgiveness in their real lives. There are some things that I believe could be hard and fast "never forgive" rules, like your SO should never hit you, but people make mistakes. We should have room for forgiveness, we should understand circumstances. People get tired and sick and angry and overwhelmed and sometimes they screw up. It makes me wonder if this is an online persona effect, where we never show our negative sides, or is this a true opinion. Do people forget their own mistakes?

There also seems to be this idea that once someone has done something once, it's already a pattern even if the novel is full of counter-evidence. Emma is very polite throughout the novel, she endures people that annoy her a lot, she is endlessly accommodating with her father, but a single insult to Miss Bates and people start retroactively making her worse. When she visited that poor family she must have been insulting them! (Nope) Suddenly she becomes a villain through and through, instead of a normal girl who made a few mistakes.

That's not even getting into the real "villains" of Austen's works. The amount of people who tell me that Lydia (16), Henry Crawford (probably 24), Mary Crawford (22-24), Willoughby (25), and so on and so fourth ARE INCAPABLE OF CHANGE and will never improve. Like excuse me? Have you not changed and improved since you were 16-25? How early do you give up on people? Do you really think a young adult is fully formed?

Is this how you think of people in the real world too?

[ye4gerism]

Bachelorette season is starting up again! Y/N L/N is the new stunning face of the Bachelorette and so far the viewers feel that she’s favorable.

Of course, the honeymoon phase of the show will decrease episode by episode and someone is bound to crack really soon.

INTO THE LIVES OF THE BOYS: exclusive interviews with the eight remaining contestants

“What are you looking for in a partner?”

COLT GRICE: i’m honestly looking for someone who is willing to go through the ups and downs of life with me. i know that sounds basic but trust me, i know what it’s like to watch a marriage fall apart because one person wasn’t committed enough.

EREN YEAGER: you know, when i think of a partner, i think of someone i can jump out of a plane with. my partner and i should be able to feel the “breeze” of marriage and overcome everything together

“Do you have any past relationships?”

OYANKOPON: who hasn’t? i hope this isn’t some sort of trick question. there was a person i thought i’d marry but an unforeseen event helped me understand that they weren’t for me.

JEAN KIRSTEIN: oh yeah…too many. i was kind of a player in high school and i screwed around a lot in college but as i’ve gotten older, i realized that i want a family and a future.

“Eren you and Zeke look oddly alike. Why is that?”

EREN YEAGER: really? that blonde mop? i don’t really see it.

“What is your guilty pleasure?”

ARMIN ARLERT: i’m sort of into conspiracy theories. sometimes i feel bad because as bizarre as some are, they’re kind of believable.

PORCO GALLIARD: i won’t lie; i love ordering in. i eat healthy and everything yes but, boy, don’t i love sitting on my couch on a friday night and eating my favorite that just got delivered to me.

“How do you like to spend your free time?

CONNIE SPRINGER: i personally love spending time with my two younger siblings. i love living life through them.

REINER BRAUN: my niece is the funniest person i know. since the moment she was born, she’s brought a smile to my face. i love spending my free time with her!

A LITTLE BIRDIE TOLD ME…: dirt on the cast

“Rumor has it one of the contestants has a wife.”

We wouldn’t be surprised. 10 handsome men enter the show and none of them are married? That’s a little suspicious don’t you think? Colt and Reiner are definitely hubby material.

“Eren is passed around like a football 😞”

With those green eyes, the ladies are probably all over him…and he’s probably all over them too. You didn’t hear it from us though.”

“Jean and Eren don‘t get along”

An insider told us the two were throwing looks at each other. It probably has something to do with Eren stealing Jean’s girlfriend in highschool.

“I heard that jean and eren went to high school tg and that eren stole jean’s long term gf”

What did we say?

“Zeke has a crush on Y/N”

we have a crush on y/n too!

“Zeke has daddy kink”

Oh!😀

“I heard y/n f*cked zeke to get on the show”

Are we talking about the right Zeke?

“yn is just gonna be playing all the guys, she's there for vibes”

We love a good feminist! Why be on a show for marriage when you can be a show to play men? We love it.

That’s all for now! Tune in next week for more juicy details!

i didn’t hit all questions but i will use them next week’s post! some of these answers made me laugh lmao😭 imagine zeke falling for you (UNLESS👁️). i’ll definitely incorporate some of these rumors into the story :). i also forgot to introduce hitch and pieck, so i’ll try and integrate them into the next few chapters!

if you would like to vote again, press here. you don’t have to answer the written answer questions if you have already! just let me know that you’ve already answered! i’ll probably close the poll tmrw so i can finish up the chapter :)

tysm again for reading the bachelorette!

taglist: @katestrophes @taylarxse @invisible-mori @tanakaslastbraincell @mrsharuchiyo @parkerluvsu @conniesbbymama @444ctrl @gabbadabbad00 @cvberidiot @maliagurl @greeniegreengreen @teanica @illgrrl @asymetricstar @llovesero @haitainiwhore3 @durag_tanaka

[billys-pretty-babe]

The One I Was Looking For

Pairing : Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Summary : Billy was your best friend, he'd only be your best friend because you didn't have feelings for him, and that was okay. He watched every rejection, was there for you every time you got stood up, and deep down he knew he'd always be better for you.

Everything is from Pinterest :)

Warnings : Swearing

Word count : 1,370

He hated seeing you cry over guys. Billy has been in Hawkins for a mere 2 months, you were his best friend, you were everything to him and it scared him, he knew how easy it was for someone to leave him.

Tonight, you had a date with one of the basketball players. Billy laid on your bed, watching as you sat at your vanity and did your makeup as you gushed about the guy. Billy rolled his eyes, he had heard about the date, what the guy had wanted to happen but Billy knew you, he knew you wouldn't let him do anything in public.

"Where are you guys going again?" You glanced at him in the mirror, "The diner on Cornwallis." He nodded, he knew where it was, he had too many late nights there, being a frequent visitor on Saturday nights. "Get the burger." You screwed your face up, "You don't get a burger on the first date, Billy." He mocked you and you laughed.

"I'm staying here while you go out." You nodded, "There's pizza and pasta in the fridge. My dad's out of beer so you're out of luck unless you brought some." He nodded. "Didn't bring any but I'm fine without it, don't need any." You nodded and finished off your makeup. You stood up and looked at your outfit, cute and casual. Billy spun his finger and you spun and he nodded and put his thumb up.

"Wanna come?" He raised a brow, "For what?" You shrugged, "Just to go, I'm sure there will be girls there." He shook his head, "I'm good, I'll wait here." You nodded and found your keys. You smoothed Billy's hair back, his hair in his face. "Remember to eat, I'll get you a burger since it sounds like you want one." He smiled and nodded. "Be safe, call your phone if you need me. I can be there in ten minutes." You smiled, "Thank you but I think it'll be a good one." He nodded and you left.

He twiddled his thumbs before going to your kitchen and raiding the fridge, finding a lonely beer in the back of it. He grabbed his plate loaded up with pizza and spaghetti and walked back to your room and he sat on the floor, knowing you'd be upset if he got food on your blanket. He chose one of your VHS tapes, opting for a horror movie, trying to distract himself.

Twenty minutes passed and the phone didn't ring and he hummed, taking it as a sign that the date went well. An hour passed, the movie nearly over as he heard the gravel crunch and he prepared himself to listen to you talk about the date. He heard the door shut and lock and your footsteps along with a bag crinkling and he looked down at his empty plate.

The bedroom door opened and his heart sank as he saw your cheeks covered in the black mascara that you had carefully applied. He pushed the paper plate away from him as he got up, groaning slightly considering he had eaten a lot. You didn't say anything when he stood in front of you, you just let your head fall to his chest. He grabbed the brown paper bag, grease stains on the bag and he set it on your floor, putting the milkshakes on your little table and he held the back of your head.

"What did he do," he asked softly, his pinky rubbing the back of your neck. You didn't say anything, you just held onto his waist, his cologne comforting you because you could always count on Billy, no matter what. "He didn't show up," you said as you calmed down. Billy's right hand went to your waist and he rubbed the bottom of your back.

"I'm sorry." No he wasn't, Billy was just sorry that it made you cry. "It's okay, I should be used to it." He kissed the top of your head, "You'll find someone one day and he'll treat you like you're his everything, trust me." You looked up at him, eyes brimmed with pink, lashes clumped from crying, makeup getting on his shirt, "Mean that?" He nodded, kissing your head once more.

"Get cleaned up and we'll eat." You looked at the empty, dirty paper plate on your floor. "Don't look at that, I'm still hungry." He wasn't, he felt like he would burst if he ate anything else but he would do it for you. You nodded and walked to your vanity and took off your makeup, being careful of your lashes and Billy took off the white shirt he was wearing as he looked in your dresser and grabbed one of his white muscle tanks and he put it on, fixing his hair.

You looked in the dresser and found comfortable clothes and changed, Billy laying on the bed, watching you. You had no problem changing in front of him, unless you were completely naked, then you would change in your bathroom. He unbagged the food and he grabbed a milkshake.

"Want me to restart the movie?" You shook your head as you chose another one. He groaned when he saw Risky Business and you laughed and sat on the bed, sipping the milkshake as you both watched the movie, the food long gone. Billy groaned as he laid back, patting his stomach. He unbuckled his belt and popped the button on his jeans and let out a breath and you laughed.

"Fucking hell, I don't think I've ever eaten so much in my entire life." You laughed and shook your head as you gathered the trash and went into the kitchen and threw it away. You walked back into your room as Billy stood in a pair of shorts, his shirt pulled up as he checked himself out in the mirror. "Abs are still there, I'm good." You rolled your eyes, pinching his hip as you passed him and he grumbled, "Stop doing that shit, it hurts." You laughed, "So it's okay for you to bite me but when I pinch you that's where we draw the line?" He hummed, "Yes." You rolled your eyes again and he looked at you, "Keep rolling your eyes and you'll look like a damn slot machine." You laughed and shook your head.

"Come on, I'm tired, my eyes hurt. I think I got mascara in them." He laid down beside you, patting his stomach and scratching as he groaned. "Let me look at your eyes." He rolled onto his stomach, groaning again and you laughed and he moved so he was a few centimeters from your face, his breath hitting your face. He held your eyes open as he looked at them.

"I don't know what I'm looking for." You both laughed but he never moved, instead he placed one hand beside your body, his left hand still on your face. "Billy, you're being weird." You said, laughing at the end before your laugh was cut off by his lips on yours. Instead of pushing him off, you welcomed the kiss, kissing him back and everything else disappeared, your hurt feelings were replaced with something else.

He pulled away first, pecking your lips a few more times before laying beside you. You looked at him, "What was that about?" He laughed, "I've been waiting to do that since Halloween." You hummed, "Could've saved me so much heartbreak." He hummed, "I know but hey, at least you know I'm a good kisser now." You shrugged, "I guess so." He rolled his eyes and rolled over to cuddle with you, something the two of you always did.

"Give me a chance, one date and if you decide you don't see me as anything else than a friend, then that's okay." You nodded, "Okay." He nodded and turned off the lamp. "My stomach hurts," he groaned and you laughed at him. "You ate too much." He hummed, "Figured." You both laughed into the darkness and you held onto him and smiled.

Maybe, just maybe, Billy was the one you were always looking for, but you'd figure that out after the date with him.

[justroaminground]

upside down (Sam Winchester X Reader)

so this one is a bit different. it is a mini-scenario as i like to call it! no smut just fluff. watching movies, series or listening to music gives me those scenarios and that was one of it and i thought why not put it out in the world.

plot: so you're a witch (kinda rowena inspired) and help sam out, safe dean. you end up pregnant by sam and thing's take a turn.

enjoy my mini-scenario! :)

(sooooorrryy for mistake in advance)

___________________________________

shaky fingers clawed into the piece of plastic in your hand. on the little screen it said one word, which put your whole world upside down.

"pregnant"

reading it out in disbelief it felt even more wrong. for solid 10 minutes you simply stared the positive pregnancy test down. waiting for it to change, but no matter how long you were waiting, the result won't change.

you were pregnant.

it wasn't like you're 20 and had a huge problem to tell your mom and dad.

absolutely not.

the problem was, you were a 312 year old witch, pregnant by a hunter. well that sounded like a really bad love/drama with the only twist, it was real to you.

roaming the world for the past centuries you made the best out of it and stayed undercover. you were banned from the one and only huge coven and had to stay undercover or else you would have been killed.

now that a lot has changed since then, you decided to get back to work and follow the one and only dream you had. being the queen of hell. on the way there you had to face some major obstacles, but nonetheless you made it. still not the queen of hell, but you were getting there.

a few months back you decided to help sam, safe his brother from the mark of cain. it took the winchesters quiet some time to get the book of the damned, but they made it. hearing all the stories about them, you weren't really surprised to hear they got it. even though there were some really bad things roaming heaven, earth and hell, the winchesters had a name, which they protected.

you decided for yourself to stay away from them, only to be summoned by sam himself one day. he trapped you and made you help him or else he'd kill you. since you were on your own and you knew there could be some obstacles waiting for you, reaching your goal of being the queen of hell, you decided to help him out, in return of him having to help you out if you were in need. he agreed and from there on it happened.

you've settled in a old house about an hour from the bunker and had everything you needed to translate the book of the damned. from time to time, sam joined you and supported you. he brought snack's, you two had many late night talks and one thing lead to the other and you two grew together. one night thing's just got out of hand and before you knew it, you woke up in his arms the next morning.

this was about 2 months ago and it was the one and only time every you got intimate with him. both of you knew, this wouldn't have a future. sam from the beginning on, let you know, if you screwed him over he'd kill you without any hesitation. he also mentioned that, if dean found out, he'd track you down and probably kill you aswell. nonetheless sam had a sweet spot for you and you knew that.

looking back you couldn't wrap your head around, why you even said yes to that, but it must have been the risk. no risk no fun, right?

well, there you had your risk. slowly coming back from your trans, you felt tears filling up your eyes and weren't able to explain, how this was even possible?! how were you able to get pregnant?

you weren't intimate in ages with anyone, because you never felt something like attraction or the need of closeness. but with sam it was just different. he made you feel so many emotions at once , gave you the feeling of being important and even made you more human again. it was a deeper connection you felt towards him and you knew he felt the same, but both of you held back. knowing that if you were to close, the separation would hurt even more. there was only one way, why you got pregnant from him. sam being your soulmate. it was the only opportunity of being able to even welcome a baby as a witch. the only way to get pregnant was, if the partner you were getting intimate with was your soulmate.

you threw the pregnancy test into the trash can in the bathroom and went back into the kitchen. on the kitchen table were all the book's, notes and stuff from translating the book of the damned. your eyes looked around the room and you shook your head, still not believing what you just found out. tears rolled down your cheeks sobbing to yourself.

"this just can't be it.." you whispered to yourself, trying to pull yourself together.

walking over to the long mirror in the hallway you pulled up your shirt and looked at your belly. holding your shirt up with your chin, you laid both hands on your tummy, feeling and watching it from all angles. nothing's visible of course. you did have a small tummy but you always had that, soft and squishy.

hearing a knock on the door, you jumped shocked aside and quickly pulled your shirt down.

"hey y/n! it's me!" sam's well-know voice, echoed through the door.

"fuck fuck fuck" you whispered to yourself and check yourself in the mirror. fixing everything you could in the short amount of time you had and took a deep breath. before opening the door you put on the best fake smile you had and swung it open.

"a rare visit we have here!"

"i know, i know." sam laughed and walked past you into the house. "thing's have been busy. you know dean's just not himself.." he continued and you closed the door.

"no worries, that's what i thought" you gave him a warm and understanding smile. for a moment both of you just stood there, when he finally moved over and took you in a long and loving hug.

"are you okey?" sam whispered into your hair and softly stroke along your back.

you simply nodded against his chest, not wanting to go any deeper into the topic. his simple presence gave you butterflies in your tummy and you already felt way better. funny how someone made you feel so many things's after centuries of not feeling a thing. for a few minutes the two of you just stood there arm in arm and he gently pulled away.

"are you sure..?" slight worry was seen in his features and he stroke a few strands of hair aside.

"yes, i was just up late the past few nights.." you explained to him, not even lying. well not really. you did stay up late, but it just wasn't the real reason you felt the way you do.

"well, i am here today and i will stay until tomorrow! need to catch up with all the hours i stayed away!" he smiled and clapped into his hands.

you raised an eyebrow and couldn't hide a laugh. "well sammy, quiet late!" walking past him, you made your way into the kitchen and took a note from the table. hearing the heavy footsteps behind you, you knew he was following you closely.

raising the note you looked at him and smiled. "in my hand, i have the three ingredients for the spell."

his face got all serious and his jaw clenched. his hand reached for the note, but you pulled it away.

"ah, ah, ah samuel" you told him in a warning tone and hid it behind your back.

"y/n!" his eyes got serious immediately, stepping closer.

"i want to hear our deal again." stepping another step back, you hit the kitchen counter with your lower back.

"stop playing games, or do i have to remind you of your job?" sam warned. when it came down to the spell, things got more serious and he was easily triggered.

"what's the deal sam!" you asked calmly again.

his hands rolled into fists and it took a moment for him to answer. "immunity from us."

"exactly." you breathed out, with a huge smirk on your face and handed him the note.

his eyes flew hungry over the note and he right away took his phone out. dialing a number. it beeped a few times and he left you standing there in the kitchen.

loving moments with him, sometimes ended like there was never more, but both of you were pretty good at hiding what you really felt.

a few minutes later he came back and put the note back onto the table. he leaned with both hands down onto the table and exhaled in relief.

"a friend will get the thing's and by tonight we can do the ritual."

"what friend?" you asked and walked over to him, letting yourself down onto a chair.

"doesn't matter."

"i thought we were kinda..close?" hesitantly you took one of his hands into yours and squeezed it gently.

"that's the problem" he gave you a look and you were able to see he was hurt.

"all i wanted was to safe dean, no matter the consequences, but i am just not willing to lose you at any cost. same with dean. i am torn between the two of you and i can't stand this any longer y/n" he continued and pulled his hand out of your grip.

"what are you trying to say?" not really sure of what he was up to you looked at him confused.

"after we've done the ritual tonight, we have to stay apart from each other."

"what?!" quickly you got up. "i get it we may not have the apple pie life like the normal kids, but aren't we worthy of someone in their life?! aren't we worthy of feeling the way we make eachother feel?!"

sam stroke through his hair and shook his head in desperation. "don't make things harder y/n. if dean get's a hint of what is going on here, he won't hesitate for a minute. he'll track you down and-"

"kill me." you cut him off and nodded. it wasn't the first time, the two of you talked about that, but it was the first time, you weren't able to ignore the risk of dying. you weren't alone anymore you had someone to keep safe. therefore you stayed quiet and turned away from him. tears rolled down your cheeks but you stayed completely silent.

sam kept quiet himself and simply hugged you from behind. pressed you needy against his body and placed a sweet kiss on your neck. "you mean to much to me. i don't want to lose you. i prefer to think you're happy out there, than dead somewhere burned. i am not saying we aren't allowed to meet every again, i am just saying we need to keep our distance for a while."

enjoying the past few hours with sam around, like he used to be, you soaked it all up. that night the ritual was done and sam as well as castiel stayed with dean in the bunker. you never knew how it went down, but you remember sam's words and took of. you packed your few belongings and moved on.

----

two months passed and you lived in a motel in nevada. being pregnant kinda changed you into taking more care of the risks you took. therefore you stopped hunting down your goal of being the queen of hell. you sat back and took more care after yourself. of course you still practiced your witchcraft, but in a very different way. you jobbed at a nearby hospital and helped the people heal.

you haven't heard from sam in a while, but thought of him every night. during the daytime it was easy to keep yourself busy, but laying there in bed. all to yourself, your thoughts circled around him. wondering how he is doing, what he is doing, what it would be like if he was here, what he'd think of the baby and much more. the only reason you were able to handle the situation of staying away from him so well, was because you carried his baby with you. so kind of a part of him never left you.

your fingertips stroke softly over the skin of your belly and you felt how your tummy has gotten harder. it used to be more soft and squishy. now it was firm and when you were wearing something more figure hugging it was visible you were pregnant. you loved your little baby belly. with every month your belly grew you accepted the fact that you would raise the baby all by yourself.

almost falling asleep a shrilly sound of our phone woke you up. tired you grabbed it from the other side of the bed and tried to read who it was. not being able to make out who it was, you just figured out it had to be someon from the hospital and simply answered the phone.

"it better be a emergency sarah!" a tired laugh left your lips and you rolled to the side.

"i am not sarah, but it indeed is a emergency." a well to known voice echoed through the phone and your eyes widened.

you quickly sat up and felt your heart race against your chest. "s-sam?"

"i'm sorry, if i disturbed, but i need you" he explained and by the sound of his voice, you could tell he wasn't well.

"tell me where and i'll be there."

"thank's." sam whispered and with that he hung up.

not thinking a second of it you jumped out of bed and got ready. putting on a dress aswell as some tights. you threw a jacket over it and packed your important things, already leaving the house. by the time you reached the car, he sent you the location of the bunker and you drove there. it took you a few hours, which felt like forever since you didn't knew what was going on, your mind created thousands of scenarios.

reaching the bunker, sam let you in and you couldn't help but fall into his arms. you hugged him tightly against your body and buried your face in his chest. inhaling the well known scent of him. his strong arms held you closely against his body and both of you stayed like this for a few minutes.

not knowing if you were allowed to talk you just looked up at him and stroke gently over his cheek. a loving smile on your lips took in every feature of his.

"good to see you, up and healthy" he whispered quietly and placed a small kiss on your forehead.

"missed you too." you answered and nodded.

"please.." he gestured you the way and he took the bag from you.

you made your way downstairs and at the bottom of the stairs one man was waiting. right away you were able to tell, he wasn't human, but couldn't make out what he was. sam followed closely behind you and walked trough the hall, placing your bag on the table.

"cas meet y/n!" sam talked into the mans direction.

"hello y/n" the man said and looked at you from head to toe. "i am castiel. an angel of the lord." he continued.

your eyes widened. "a-an angel of the lord?" you repeat in disbelief and looked from castiel to sam, which joined the two of you.

"yeah.." sam chuckled a bit and nodded. "cas has been thorough a lot with us and is literally family.." sam continued.

"still a weirdo though!" another voice added and you looked into the direction the voice came from. a tall man, not as tall as sam, but tall. brown short hair, green eyes and a bright smile on his face.

"so this is the one and only witch?!" he came closer and switched his gaze from sam to cas. stopping right in front of you.

Looking you up and down with a very suspicious look on his face. dean turned to sam with a chuckle and shook his head. "never!"

"dean." sam gave dean a warning look and took a deep breath. "she's one of the oldest witches. y/n was able to survive all these years unnoticed and is our last chance to read the book of the damned." sam explained as calm as possible.

dean turned back to you again and sighted. "if you screw us over.." he moved his hand to his belt and lifted his flannel. revealing a gun. "you're dead" seriousness in his eyes made you shiver under his gaze and you swallowed hard. back then you would have started a fight right away, but not now. not now, risking the baby being hurt.

"dean calm down!" castiel puut one hand on his shoulder and pulled him back.

"n-no it's fine i get it.." you spoke up shaky and smiled nervously.

sam gave you a warm smile and you were able to read the sorry across his face. "let me update you on the case.." not being able to answer, sam pulled you away to the table which was covered in books.

"uhm..wow this already looks exhausting" you chuckled and sat down.

while sam updated you about the new case, castiel and dean still stood there and whispered about something. you were sure they were talking about you, but you didn't show any reaction towards it. you would work this case through with them and leave just as fast as you came. maybe spent some special time with sam, but nothing more.

"y/n?" sam's voice brought you back into reality and you looked at him a bit surprised.

"uhm..sorry! the drive was pretty long and..uhm well i am a bit all over the place i guess.."

"you're right where are my manners! i'll get you something to drink!" sam excused himself and quickly left the room.

looking over to the place cas and dean stood, they were gone. where were they?! you moved in your chair, feeling a bit uneasy, when cas finally came into the room.

"dean is sometimes very suspicious about new people." cas just stood there awkwardly and looked at you blankly.

"well i think i understand.." with a nervous smile you turned a bit into his direction.

"there is something off with your...aura" cas spoke out very randomly and tilted his head.

"sorry..?" looking at him in confusion.

"it's like there are two? like a little one in your..usual one?" cas tried to explain what he saw and you were able to tell by his gaze, he was literally studying you.

was he able to see the baby's aura?! was this even possible? would he even feel it?! quiet nervous about these thoughts you swallowed hard and cleared your throat.

"oh, uhm i was always told i am something special" nervously you laughed and turned back to the table.

sam appeared back in the room, joined by dean and the two sat down at the table with you.

"cas stop being weird and scaring our visitor." sam told cas and pointed to the chair.

"sorry." cas said and sat down.

sipping at your tea you listened carefully to sam and dean. by removing the mark off dean, you've released the darkness, which caused a whole lot of problems. you knew there was a price to it, but you never knew it would be this big. their hope was to find a spell in the book of the damned to lock the darkness away. that was the part you had to support them.

"so..do you think you can help us with that?" sam asked hopefully and smiled.

"i removed the mark off dean, releasing the darkness so it is my duty to find a way out of this." you nodded your head slightly and looked at the three of them. "it is the right thing to do..right?" a warm smile appeared on your lips.

you were able to see how the tension was released, after you said that and you looked at dean. he took another sip of his whiskey and took a deep breath, leaning his upper body forward, supporting his weight on his elbows, fingers on his chin.

"what's in it for you?" his low voice and strong gaze made you nervous again and you looked down into your cup.

looking back up at dean, you met his gaze again. "i just don't want to die."

dean raised and eyebrow and was quiet confused about that.

"what?"

"you heard me right. i just don't want to die." you said again.

"so no "queen of hell", "being the baddest witch alive" or whatever blah blah?!"

"dean just take her answer?!" being annoyed by dean's behavior, sam raised his voice a bit and looked at dean.

"really sammy?! are you that stupid?!" dean got louder and stood up in one shot. "you're telling me this is one of the strongest witches and her behavior is all vanilla and she doesn't want to die?! do you even listen to her?!" anger wore down on his body. his hands were balled into fists.

you knew exactly what he meant. you never behaved like that, but right now you had to. there was no way, you would risk the health of the baby, but you also understood why they didn't believe you.

before sam was able to shoot back, you got up and raised your voice.

"during the past few months, a lot has happened. i don't ask you do understand any of that, but like i said, the only thing i want is to live. i am not screwing you over." laying your eyes on dean, it only confirmed he was still not impressed. he stood there at the table and simply looked at you.

being to quick for anyone to react he grabbed your neck and pressed you down onto the table. sam and castiel shot up in shock and immediately tried to calm dean down. a hurtful squeal left your mouth and you didn't move a bit.

"dean what the fuck stop it!" sam rushed around the table and dean held his hand up, gesturing sam to stop as well as castiel. both of them stopped in their tracks and complete silence filled the room.

"i am giving you this one last chance, to tell us what your plan is and why you're helping us so willingly, or i will torture it out of you" his raspy voice filled the room and his fingertips buried their way into your neck.

another gasp left your mouth and tear swelled up in your eyes. "please i am begging you, s-"

"answer my god damn question!" dean raised his voice and you were able to see that sam was on and about to jump at dean, if he made one more move.

"i-i'm expecting a baby" you whispered quietly.

dean's hand immediately moved from you and pulled you back up. he turned you to look at the three of them and you took a sharp breath in.

sam's face went pale and the shock was written all over his face. all the thing's he wanted to ask were written all over his face, but he had to hold them back. dean nodded slightly and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"sorry..i-..you know we don't get this a lot.." dean tried to explain his actions and sighed.

simply nodding in response you pushed the chair aside and slowly sat back down. "i was surprised too.." you laughed insecure and looked at cas. his face lit up, because now it made sense why he saw two auras instead of just one.

the three sat back again and silence filled the room. sam supported his chin on his hand and the elbow of his arm on the table. staring absent on the table. dean leaned back in the chair and scratched his neck, rethinking his action and castiel just sat there and looked at sam and dean. before the awkwardness grew you cleared your throat and spoke up.

"so..uhm we need a spell to lock the darkness away right..?"

"yes!" dean quickly nodded.

"is there anything we..already know?"

"no not really..dean was the only one seeing her.." sam added and looked at dean.

"her? so..the darkness is a woman?" you laughed and looked at them.

"i was just as surprised!" cas added and shrugged his shoulders.

dean just nodded and you thought about that for a minute. "all i learned about the darkness was that, she was looked away before any life happened on earth. she never got in touch with anything we know." you explained.

"well explains why there is hardly anything about the darkness anywhere.." dean sighted.

"i will head off and check some of my possibilities." cas told you and right when he finished, he disappear.

you jumped slightly and looked back at sam and dean. "still have to get used to that.." you laughed slightly.

"you never will!" dean added with a small smile. "uhm..i am really sorry for what i just did.."

"it's okey. sam and cas are probably the only ones you have and you want to protect them." you calmed dean with a smile and rested your hand on your tummy. "i feel the same." you added.

you were able to tell that dean was very sorry for what he just did. his fingers reached for his glass and he took the last sip of his whiskey. "i feel like we should just rest for the night and continue tomorrow. the guy right here is in his dream already!" dean laughed and patted sam on the shoulder. "so let's head to the rooms. you're is the second on the left, right before the kitchen, bed is made and everything you need is there." dean said and went off into his room.

which left the two of you alone in the room. you felt the anxiety creep up in your body and looked at sam. his gaze was still on the table and his jaw was clicking. his breath was heavier and you were able to tell by his posture he was about to say something. he just didn't knew how.

"how?" he spoke up and his voice cracked.

"i don't know.." you answered confidently. you knew exactly how this was possible, but you knew how overwhelming it already was for him to know that you're pregnant. you didn't want to completely shock him and tell him witches were only able to get pregnant by their soulmate. that was a fact you weren't able to handle yourself properly.

"is it.." he stopped in the middle of his sentence and inhaled deeply. it looked like he thought about his question again. "is it mine..?"

you just knew this was going to come sooner or later, but you hoped it wouldn't. nonetheless the situation was here. "yes without a doubt. you were the only man in..ages i got intimate with.." the last few words were just whispers.

sam let out a tone you weren't able to identify. his hands stroke over his face and he buried his fingers in his hair. resting his head for a long moment in his hands.

you got up and checked the hallway, before moving over to his side. you stopped at his chair and rested your hands on his shoulders. "see, i don't know how to calm you down. i was just as confused, concerned and just scared as you are right now. but if it helps, nothing changes. i am working this case and i will leave again. you won't notice anything you don't have to care about me..well us"

he moved slowly and he was all over the place. he just looked at you and back down at your belly and back up at you. "i'm sorry i don't know what to say.." he whispered out and shook his head. "i never thought i'd find myself in a situation like this.."

you couldn't help, but laugh. "well..me neither" you confirmed and sat down next to him.

a small smile formed on his lips. "it's not like i never thought about it. it's just that..you know this life.."

you cut sam off and took his hands into yours. "you don't have to explain anything sam. i know just exactly what you mean. nonetheless it is what it is right now."

you just nodded and squeezed his hands tightly. once again he looked at your belly.

"what month..? i am not able to..you know, see the belly." he explained a bit insecure.

"the 4th month. i am just pretty good at hiding it.." you smiled and looked down at yourself. you pulled the dress a bit tighter and a tummy made itself noticeable. a whole lot of emotions overcame you and even though it felt completely wrong you loved it. you loved being pregnant, you loved sharing this with sam and him being the father. there was no way out no and to your surprise you didn't even wanted a way out. it was the part of you, you fought with for the longest time. being so naïve and weak to believe, you were able to live a normal life, but there you were. pregnant and full of hope.

his eyes widened a bit and he looked back up at you again. "that seems so..unreal." he mumbled more to himself.

"it has been a lot. i feel like we should rest and..you know let it sit." gently you stroke the back of his hand with your thumb and smiled.

"yeah you're right.." he agreed and simply pulled you into his arms again. "i do wanna care about..both of you y/n" he whispered against your temple and kissed it.

the first shock was over after a few weeks. you stayed with them for a while since the goal to lock away the darkness wasn't as easy. you and cas, aswell as dean grew together like friends and it felt like everything worked out for once. dean still didn't knew it was sam's baby, that was just one thing both of you weren't willing to share to anyone. it was just another day which passed and you got ready for bed. after having the talk with sam, the two of you needed a bit of space, adjusting to everything and haven't really had much time together. tonight was going to be different since dean and cas decided to work a case a few hours drive away from the bunker.

throughout the day you still hid your baby belly since you still felt very insecure showing it too much. you were used to only see it in bed or when you were alone. you knew it wouldn't work out forever, but you did as long as you could. wearing baggy sweaters or dresses most of the time. so you pulled another hoodie over your head and before you were able to leave your room, you heard a knock.

"come in!" you said and sat onto the bed.

sam came in, with a cup of tea in his hand and placed it on the nightstand. joining you on the bed.

"how are you feelin?" he asked and reached for your hand. holding your hand in his and slowly but gently massaging it.

"well i can tell the baby is growing.. i can feel my back and my feet, but it's fine" you explained and relaxed your hand in his grip.

"i know..we didn't have much time to ourselves lately, but..cas and dean are out and we have some time for ourselves. may i see the belly..?" sam asked a bit insecure. "if you don't feel comfortable, that's fine! i just..i just really wanna feel the baby i guess.." he explained and had a hard time finding the right words. you could tell it was burning deep down in him and of course you wouldn't deny his plea.

you carefully took you hand out of his grip and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. taking the seem of the hoodie into your fingers you slowly liftet it up, revealing the babybelly to him. sam's eyes followed every little move you made and when he saw the belly his eyes got a bit watery. you took his hand into yours and placed it gently on your belly. his big hands covered half of your small belly and you felt the warmth of his skin against yours. goosebumps covered your whole body and even to yourself this was a huge moment.

his hand gently pressed against your belly and a smile formed on his lips. "gosh..that's my baby.." he mumbled in fascination and switched his gaze from your tummy to you.

you smiled at him and rested your hand on top of his. his face got closer and you put your other hand onto his cheek. he closed the gap between the two of you and kissed you gently. you kissed him back and melted into the kiss. finally feeling completely at piece for once. all the worry and anxiety shifted off your shoulders for once and you were present. not worried about the future. it was just sam, the baby and you.

[kafus]

actually i will post just a little. i’m still reeling and it’s hard to articulate all my emotions. i was sobbing my eyes out during the concert and for a while after and even after sleeping my sinuses are still so screwed up from crying lmao.

so during the concert, kaf transformed into “KAIKA” - her real life self. the girl behind the voice who is kaf. she’s going to be releasing the music she writes herself under the name KAIKA. kaf will continue to coexist alongside kaika.

it actually makes a lot of sense, i’ve always said that kaf is not just the girl voicing her but a multimedia art project made by a large variety of people. now that she is older it makes sense she wants to stand on her on two feet and sing her own songs as herself, as ballsy as a move this might be for a “vtuber”. kaf can continue being the art project that she is and the expression of numerous people while kaika gets to be herself in full.

i’m so happy for her. it’s been crazy watching kaf grow over time, i still have a signed letter from her from when she graduated high school… to think when she debuted she was 14 and now she’s revealing her true self in front of a massive packed stadium. piedpiper talked about how he wanted to let her take as much time as she needed to work on her self written songs and how he doesn’t want to rush her art and it really paid off. this is a perfect outcome really

i feel truly blessed to be able to hear directly from the girl that voiced the art that has saved my life, carried me through some of the hardest times i’ve ever been through the past few years. kaf has brought me together with so many people, she’s impacted my art and writing, she is a plush that i hold for comfort and a voice i listen to to fall asleep or to cry. and kaika is the one who gave her life all this time

i’m processing a lot that i can’t even articulate but i love kaf and i will continue to support her & kaika for as long as i can

oh and btw 💙 they made kaf’s oc real. that’s a design she made herself and they gave it a 3D model and then she dueted tokyo shandy with kafu. bless

[melishade]

does a line of Dark Energon

AoP AU where it's not just Optimus who gets sent to Paradis, it's all his siblings. (yes, Solus & Megatronus are here too, no, the Allspark is still functional) Primus did a big oopsie. Cue sibling drama (Prima dealing with a guilty conscience over his List, but unable to articulate it, Megatronus being sad over stabbing Solus, Maximo being ostracized by his siblings over causing the above & him hiding how he feels with his own dickery) while Eren & Co have 12 new dads & a new mom.

Optimus: "How do 12 Primes not have one emotional braincell among them?' Prima: "I-" Megatronus: "That was your job, little brother. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some Marleyan military units to deal with in the Middle East."

This is some of the wackiest shit I've heard...gimme that dark energon.

I actually have brought up with @justawannabearchaeologist and @echoblaze5 lol

But I'm gonna tweek this crack idea for fun.

So Optimus and Megatron still end up in the AOT world like in AOP. However, Primus and Vector monitoring the situation and realizes that not much is changing and see the Rumbling still coming into play.

Primus to his disciples: ...Soooooo.....

Half of them: NO!

(They are not happy with Primus' decision to not let Optimus rest for once!)

The Primes, excluding Vector because he has to watch time unfold, get dropped off in the AOT world. It's a bit awkward to see 11 new titans with crazy appearances and abilities. No one knows what to say, but then:

Nexus: Wanna see what I can do?! Half of the Primes as Nexus falls backwards: No! NO! NO!

Nexus falls apart and splits into his five parts: Hello!

Connie faints in response.

The Primes then immediately spot a flabbergasted Optimus and half of them tackle him into a hug. Happy to see him. Optimus has to explain that they are the original Primes, getting visible reactions out of everyone there. I, of course, won't go into a whole story. This is crack, but I have a few notes:

-Pixis passes out at the sight of Solus.

-Quintus and Hanji immediately become friends, only to have them be separated from each other because of unethical experimentation they've been conducting. Hanji gave Quintus too many notes on Titans.

-Everyone, and I mean everyone, has issues with Alpha Trion and how he completely fucked over both Optimus and Megatron. Megatron is surprised that some of the Survey Corps are actually defending him against him.

-All the Primes are eyeing Eren with extreme caution because Vector has described him as a coin-toss in regards to future events. He either destroys or saves the world and it terrifies them.

-Megatronus does his best to not be involved. (RID2015 is non-canon and I liked the Aligned Megatronus better). He doesn't want to fight and does his best to refuse to help because he's afraid of making the same mistakes. He's also not happy with Megatron for tarnishing his name once again! He's already sabotaged himself once! C'mon! (That doesn't stop the Survey Corps from trying to talk to him)

-All the Primes want Megatron dead, especially Liege, because apparently Megatron was the one who graverobbed him and stole his arm.

Liege pulling out his dagger: An arm for an arm, fragger!

Megatron: You weren't even using it!

Liege: THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS!

Megatron gets stabbed a lot.

-Amalgamous scares everyone with how much he shapeshifts.

-The Survey Corps see how often the Primes argue and feel bad for Optimus. He's just the youngest sibling in a sea full of idiots that share only one braincell.

-Sasha enjoys Onyx Prime greatly.

Long story short, Marley is screwed. They can't counter divine intervention.

[popcornforone]

Pike & Prejudice

A Marcus Pike Fan Fic

My summer vibes are going well, it’s now time for Marcus Pike to have a bit of a vibe with you. Marcus is just such a romantic isn’t he, he deserves so much better. So when I randomly thought of the initial scenario in my head I knew I had to write it & find the right Pedro character for it. I just didn’t expect it to go for more than just a few paragraphs. Once again I’ve built relationships, that’s clearly my strong point, im starting to notice that now.

Synopsis: Marcus lovingly mocks all of your romance books when you decide to buy a place together, however it’s a few months later when his own romantic moment that he wants to create, leads to something’s that aren’t discussed in some of those classics.

Word count: 4100

Warnings: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18! PIV sex, shower sex, established long term relationship, teasing, pleasuring, swearing. Most of this is fluffy & romantic until we get to that one part of the fic.

Thanks as always for the read peoples, it’s all ways appreciated, please drop me any feedback at all.

Today is finally the day, you’re moving in together. You brought this place a while ago but you have had to wait for your last assignment to end so you can move states before you moved to the new offices. He’s already been in a for a few weeks & you’ve been to see him to consummate your decision to finally take the plunge & live together. He’s been good while he’s lived there on his own, he’s decorated the main bedroom & lounge, you have helped when you could, any excuse to go & see him. Living away has had its struggles but today is the day it actually becomes a reality.

“You only lived in 1 room how the hell do you have so many boxes?” Marcus asks as he carrys in another box to dump in the spare room for sorting. “Just because I lived with room mates, doesn’t mean I don’t have lots of stuff” you reply as you carry in your house plants, & put them on the sideboard in the hall straight away. Marcus pulls a face “well they aren’t going to live there, not enough natural light” “are you saying I’m gonna kill my house plants?” You accusingly reply. Marcus shrugs with a giggle & you hug him & give him a tender kiss. “I’m so happy we’re finally doing this Marcus . It feels like it’s taken forever” your noses rub sweetly against each other. “You’ve got to take it slow, if it’s right for life” he replies, his lips finding yours again, the sweetest kisses in the world come from this man’s mouth.

You’d brought most of your clothes over during the week, but most of what is yours has been dumped in the guest bedroom for you to sort out when you got here. Marcus has been slowly sorting his things out, but he wanted to make sure your new place together is a mix of both of you, not just something you’ve added too. Most of his stuff is in the dinning room which he’s not yet eaten in. “So I was thinking,” you start as you finish eating your sandwich. “That we make the lounge look good first. You’ve already painted it & the floor is down & the sofa & tv are up, but why don’t we build that book case? We have lots of books just sat in boxes, duplicates we can store but we should combine our collections together. Show people we have passion for literature as well as each other” the smile on his face when you mention reading or books, means you know you’ve cracked him. It’s something he’s wanted to do for the last few weeks, but he didn’t want to do this without your input. “You’ve read my mind baby, I’ve waited so long to get my books out. Let’s build that bookcase after lunch. I mean how hard can it be?” He laughs as he gulps his juice.

Turns out very hard “where’s screw F?” He starts to flap as he builds while you read the instructions. “I handed it to you literally 20seconds ago” you reply rolling your eyes, mockingly tutting. “Maybe this is why it takes couples so long to move in together, as they argue about building furniture” he scoffs. You’ve just noticed where the screw is & aren’t saying a word as you read the next two stages of instructions. “Well you said you wanted to build it with my input so…” “are you being sarcy?” He rolls his eyes & glances at you “no…” you smirk, you know what’s coming. Marcus crawls across the floor to you, pinning you down & starts blowing raspberries on your ticklish neck. “Ahhh baby, I’m sorry, ahhh” you giggle & scream & he chuckles away too, before he stops & you both calm down as your eyes meet. The lock is intense, & the way his lips feel as he embraces yours is one you will never tire of. So deep & connected. It’s only as he comes up for air, ready to go for another kiss, that he catches out of the corner of his eye where screw F is & a smile falls across his face, as your hands stroke each others cheek before bookcase building resumes.

You both are impressed that you built that bookcase & didn’t attempt to kill each other, that’s a good start to life together, but now comes the interesting part. Your 7 boxes of books between you put by the entrance of the lounge. “So should we decide on an order for putting them in first, or go through the boxes & then see what we have & then decide” Marcus asks. “Well I think Biography’s should go separate to everything else, they aren’t fiction, but other than that, I don’t mind. Maybe we should unpack each others books?” You smile as you grab the first box of his. “Oooh absolutely I like that idea, we then each know what are going to be duplicates” & Marcus grabs your first box. You start looking through his box, making 4 piles. Paper backs, hardbacks, biography’s & duplicates. “Well I didn’t have you down for reading this?” You hold up his copy of Britney Spears biography. “Oooh baby baby” Marcus starts singing baby one more time, & you laugh when he does the high note of “still believe”. “I think you just upset the neighbours cat, that was so high” you laugh, continuing onto his second box.

“Well you know I can’t sing, after we met at that karaoke night 2 years ago, & yet you’ve still stuck around.” He smiles as he puts to the side your copies of 50shades rolling his eyes at them, he knew he’d find them eventually in those boxes. “I think the porn star martinis had a lot to do with how that night turned out” you smile”& look at us now, going through boxes & wondering why you have 2 copies of Ready Player One?” He asks doing a double table, making sure he hadn’t lost his mind. “I had a copy & then I won the other at a quiz night I went to, but the one I won is a 2nd edition so that’s for selling one day, when it’s worth a bit” “fair enough.” Marcus replies still looking through your books.

“How many romance novels do you have?” He asks on the final box he’s undoing. “Not that many” your interrupted by him”how many is many? Cos so far I’m up to 12?” “12?!” You’re shocked “seriously?!” He beacons you over & he shows you a pile in the floor. “I had no idea” you look at them “well some of these are classics though, which everyone’s reads. Never let me go, Emma, Little Women. I don’t think they count they are just…” “13!” He waves the next book in your face as he interrupts “Pride & Prejudice” “ahhh Mr Darcy” you giggle & he playfully hits you with the book. “I mean no book collections should be without this, bet you’ve got the film too?” He asks raising an eyebrow. “With Firth & Macfadden” you smile & kiss his cheek. “Can’t believe everyone got hot under the collar about Firth getting out of that lake all dripping” you say as a throw away comment. “Marcus smiles at you. “Okay I see your point with all the classics that true, but it’s still a lot” he smiles as he gets the last 3 books out of the box, the last one over all being Gone Girl. “Now this… this is a book…” he smiles. “Don’t worry” you say as you rub his shoulders, resting your head into his neck, “I won’t go all Amy on you” you cackle. “But I might use that line if we ever get to our 5th anniversary baby” he says winking. You’ve read the book countless times & it makes you both laugh & blush. “Well I look forward to that day Marcus” his head turns to face yours & your kiss is soft & tentative, safe in you both being exactly where you want to be in life.

Months pass & summer arrives. You’re both so happy living together. Work does get in the way, but you both knew this would be the case with him being an fbi agent. But you always try to make Sundays your couples day & this Sunday is a rather glorious Sunday, perfect for a walk by the lake after a bit of lunch before heading back home to a dinner you will cook together, & then settling down to watch more of the Peaky Blinders Marathon you are doing.

As you sit in the cafe by the lake eating your sandwiches , after a lovely walk taking photos, Marcus says something very spontaneous which isn’t like him at all. “We should rent one of those boats after lunch & row on the lake” he’s even shocked the words have come out of his mouth. You look at him perplexed. “Are you okay? Have you been swapped with another Marcus Pike?” You ask, prodding him to make sure he’s real. “Didn’t you ever as a kid want to go on one of those boats?” He asks as he sips his coffee “yea but I was 5 or 6 not 30” you chuckle as you steal one of his crisps “well now we’re adults, we live together, no parents to say it’s a waste of money & not worth the time” Marcus is making a very good point & you can see the excitement in his eyes to do this. “Fuck it, why not” you say “you right let’s do it after lunch” His smile is mischievous at your comments & he caresses your hand across the table.

“$25 for 45mins on the lake” the boatman asks & Marcus pays & he helps to get you comfortably in the boat. They have lockers & you have left most of your stuff in there. You’ve got your camera to take pictures of the boat ride & that’s about it. Marcus insists on rowing, so you can be treated like the queen you are. He slowly starts to row out into the lake & you start taking photos. “I’m getting some really good ones here Marcus, I can’t wait to show you some of these later.” “Whatever you take is always so beautiful my love, I always love your nature photos, so calming & peaceful.” He says slowly rowing further around the lake. He insisted on putting on canvas one of your sunset photos from a few years ago, so people see it when they enter your house. “How are your arms baby?” You ask after about 10minutes. “I’m happy to row too…” “no no no…” he chuckles “this is all for you, trust me” he smiles & you go past a beautiful willow tree before he stops the boat in the middle of the lake & starts to shimmy across towards you tentatively.

Your heart is racing, only a moment like this in the middle of the lake in the sunshine, as he wears his favourite white shirt & jeans as he slowly stands up, with his eyes full of desire, can only mean one thing. He’s going to ask you to marry him. You’re trying to just stay calm about this but your mind is racing, already thinking of venues, flower girls, first dances. You glance up at him as he steadies himself & starts to speak.

“My love, Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.” He pauses “or maybe I’m remembering it wrong…” he’s quoting all your romance books, declaring his love for all to see. Your eyes are filling with tears as he recites them all. You are a little too overwhelmed & he can see this, & so he bends a little to come & hold your hand, to finally you hope ask that questions, that you both know will be answered with i do.

Then the next minute is a blur, but not for the reason you expect. Another boat isn’t looking where it’s rowing & it crashes into yours, just at the point where Marcus lifts his leg to take a step. Neither of you can react, it just happens. He loses his balance as the boat rocks & as you go to grab him to steady him you make the boat move even more, & he tumbles into the lake. “Ahhhh Marcus” you screech. The people on the other boat realising what they have done. Up he come spluttering for air, drenched to the bone, while the other boat rows around to help him back into your boat & keep it steady.

You camera is still in your hand & you start taking photos of the incident, & then you stop. He pulls himself out of the water. The crisp white shirt is now see-through, & completely stuck to him. Every muscle well defined & on display & you just gawp. You know Marcus has a good body but it looks too good here, you’re jealous that others are seeing what delights you most evening before bed. He gets over the initial shock of going into the water & sits back down on the boat with the people on the other boat still apologising profusely. He tells them he’s okay & shouldn’t have been standing up in the first place. He then sees your eyes dilated in desire lusting over him unable to speak, jaw almost on the floor looking at your man. “Well you can call me Mr Darcey now if you want” he smirks which brings you back to reality. You laugh “are you okay baby?” You ask, there’s a blanket under the bench you are sitting on & you hand it to him to dry off. “Well when I’m home, warm & dry I will be” he smiles “it’s cold in there despite being so warm today” “it is a natural lake baby,” your little giggle always makes him melt a little. Those big brown eyes always fall more in love with you when you do that. “Let me row us back to the boat house” you grab both the ores & carefully navigate your way back to the boat house. He may not have asked you to marry him, but this will be a story you both tell for many years to come.

You’ve never seen Marcus move so quickly when you get home. He’s up those stairs & changing out of his clothes running the hot water for him. You’re busy getting some things out ready for dinner tonight when you receive a message asking you to join him. You’re never turning that offer down, so you go upstairs taking your clothes off as you go.

In his wet clothes he looked good coming out of the lake, but seeing him from behind washing his long naked body, as the steam starts to form, you bite your bottom lip. An arse so peachy, perfect for squeezing, always being admired by your wondering eyes. Watching the lather from the soap drip down his back as he rolls his head around. “I can tell you’re biting your bottom lip my love.” He mumbles, not even turning “maybe it’s time we shared those lips” it’s a much deeper & seductive tone, & you don’t deny him. You walk around in front of him & grab his wash puff & caress it over his chest. “My big strong leading man had a bit of an adventure today, didn’t he?” You say as he sighs as you get covered by the cascading water too & you rub circles around his chest. “I’m always on an adventure with you baby” he echos back. He takes the washer from you, putting in on the side shelf as he towers over you leaning in to claim your lips at last. Your naked body trembling with anticipation.

He slowly pulls you into him so he’s against the cold tiles of the shower, your lips hungrily chasing after each other. His hands on top of your arse tracing over those round cheeks, while you have one hand in his hair as your faces merge, & the other trailing down from his chest, slowly edging near his happy trail, to then eventually start stroking his length. When your hand makes contact his eyes shut & he gasps. “I’m not sure this happens in any of your romance books my love,” you go to protest before he continues “you can’t call Christian Grey romance” “yea your right” you reply before you start kissing his chest, chasing all those water droplets that are covering & flowing from his body. Watching him pant expectant for more that this seduction.

He slowly turns you so you are now against the tiles & spreads your legs a little. You’ve had shower sex with Marcus before, but not since you brought your own home together. He knows the best way to enjoy this & he is making sure you are ready. He leisurely strokes his length which you had been teasing with your own hand. “Real romance storys leave out the naughty bits” he says eyes twinkling at you through the steam. “Then I’m very glad we aren’t in one, because I would be livid if I wasn’t satisfied with a happy ending” you gaze upon him as his head comes down to take your lips again. Your hand joins his on his penis & once he has done with an initial tease, your moan is deep as he enters your core in a couple of slow motions. Making sure you’re okay to start, then checking he’s alright & then seeing how deep He can go, as drags along your walls.

“Fuck Marcus…” you pant out. He always feels so much bigger when he has you like this “fuck yesss” your hand grips into his shoulder as he starts to make regular movement. Marcus doesn’t say to much during sex ever, he likes to hear you whimper & moan. You don’t put it on but when you do you make sure it’s sound sexy. His eyes, lips & hand say what his words don’t. Feeling all the man that he is as he attends to every need your body gives aways. A hand stroke here, a quick dance around your nipples, grappling you thighs, he reads your body so well & it shows. “Ooh my love, you’re so tight tonight.” The words come out softly as he sucks on your neck, his moves getting faster, you feel him even deeper insider you.

“Please baby please” his hand is on your clit, making each gasp & pant longer. Your body’s rhythm now matching, as you feel like he’s pushing you into the tiles & through the wall into the guest bedroom. He’s delicate & also powerful when he needs to be, but it’s exactly what you need. He makes sure that your body responds to each touch, & he can see it react each time. He can also feel the way he drags in & out of you, filling your cunt with his penis. Making sure that you will remember this sensation & moment for a little while. The heat is steaming off you both, making the actual hot shower feel cold. The passion you have to make sure each other feel good, is unrivalled, & it’s growing every single time the two of you make love. “Marcus, make me yours” you’re going high pitched as you look up at the ceiling. The mist isn’t the only thing blurring your vision as you start to lose control & can feel your orgasm approaching.

Each thrust pushing the air out of your body, makes your moans louder. His pace is getting fast but it’s not blistering. It’s methodical & he is enjoying every second, feeling your body go numb & he hears you beg for more. He burys his head in the crook of your neck, rocking into you nibbling at it. He then slowly rests his mouth next to your ear & whispers “you’re ready baby, let go” it’s deep & seductive much like the eyes that you know are looking deeply into your soul. As your core gives in & you gush & soak his cock deep inside you, the moan you make can probably be heard by the entire street. “Just like that, good girl” he returns his head to your neck for more indulgance & pushes fully into you, thrusting his hardest. Making sure he coats you with his essence. He is silent as he cums, but you can feel he has as warmth embraces your cunt. “Fuccckkkk” you moan. Your can also see his shoulders relax & his movements slow, now he has experienced his favourite pleasure. “Marcus, my Marcus” you pant desperate for air, as you return from your high back to the reality of the shower, water & mist & the man you adore. You don’t need a proposal to know this man loves you. It’s the look in his eyes as you finally lock them with yours again that tells you all you need to know. He is yours, you are his, you don’t need any other validations other than the come down kisses you are about to have.

Cleaned & dried off after your exploits in the shower together, Marcus & you put on your jammies & start cooking dinner together. A slight kiss her, a bum grab there. Harmless usual Sunday late afternoon flirting. Something that’s so you two. It’s cheesy but it always makes you blush & feel all unnecessary & always keeps the spark alive in your relationship. Once you’ve eaten, you sit on the sofa ready to watch the next part of Peaky Blinders, however you’re shocked when the menu screen for Gone Girl appears, but you don’t complain, it’s one of your favourite movies & books of all time. You smile as Marcus wraps the blanket around the two of you & you start watching the thriller movie.

About 5mins in he pauses it after the line about the 5th anniversary, remembering what you’d both talked about months ago, when putting the books on the shelf. “I can’t remember if that line is just made up for the film or if it is in the book?” He whispers. “Go check my love.” & he gestures at the copy that’s on the side table which is used with a few other duplicates you have to show off to people. You scoot across the sofa & remove the fake sunflowers propped on top of it & life of Pi & flick towards that page, when something shiny lands in your lap. There it is, the engagement ring you thought might not come.

Tears well in your eyes as you turn around to see Marcus on his knee off the sofa. “This may not have been the way I planned to do this today, but I think this makes it more us” he says his hands now in your palms intertwined. “& I also don’t think that quote about fucking her & then slapping his cock on her saying that some wood for you would have been the most romantic way to declare my intentions while standing on that boat” this makes you smile & laugh even more, brushing your eyes of water. “But what do you say to getting that far my love? Will you be my wife? Will you let me be your leading romantic man, faults & all?” He pleads. You nod silently as his own tears fall & he places the simple small diamond on your ring finger. “Forever baby, I’ll say yes forever” you hold his face before you make out. Lips entranced, devouring each other desperate to never break this moment. “I don’t need any romance novels ever again. I have you, the most romantic hero any woman could ever ask for” he tucks your hair behind your ear before he delivers another cherished kiss to your lips & then knuckles. “My perfect fiancé” he says as he wraps you in his arms & he puts the film back on. You both now know that love doesn’t need to be picture perfect like the books or films, it’s just got to be right for the both of you.

[kenora-pizza]

My Thoughts on "Emily in the middle"

Based off a conversation I had w/@mean-scarlet-deceiver in the comment section of this post of theirs, because Tumblr comments have a word limit that I wasn't aware of, and I'm in the mood to speak my mind on this.

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Alright. So. Emily in the middle. The last appearance of Donald and Douglas in the TV show, and imo, a pretty crappy one too. The Caledonian twins, (Donald in particular) are my favourite TTTE characters for multiple reasons, and there are many things in this episode which irritated or straight up pissed me off. And I've been holding these feelings in for months.

Now, to be fair, I did like some things about this episode. The visuals are gorgeous, and I love how they brought back the twins' season 20 theme from 'Love me tender.' They also carried over this thing introduced (and heavily featured) in 'Love me tender' where Donald acts like he knows better than Douglas, much to the latter's frustration. I REALLY wish they could elaborate further on this in another episode. Like maybe this behavior has been a constant but only now is it getting worse. Maybe this behaviour is related to the fact that Donald had to smuggle Douglas into Sodor, and started thinking of himself as the one who had to take charge and keep them both safe. Maybe it's from some sorta paranoia Donald developed regarding their status on Sodor, and for some time after the events of "Deputation," he still felt the need to protect and ensure that Douglas would remain on Sodor. (I don't know, I just came up with this). And the episode concept itself can be considered humorous, but imo, it would have been better with Bill, Ben and maybe Boco, Mavis or Edward.

First off, might as well get the obvious out of they way. The twins are HORRIBLY out of character in this episode. From the get-go, they're arguing about anything and everything, to the detriment of them and the engines around them. The TV show, especially in the CGI era, unfortunately started shifting them towards the very overdone trope of "They're twins and they argue a ton," but they went the whole way with it on this episode and it's flipping awful to watch. Especially at the end, when poor Emily got derailed by a snowball (while we're on the subject of that how the flying fuck did that thing get so big so quickly?) and they started blaming each other for the accident instead of helping or apologizing to her. Also doing seriously irresponsible things like stopping a HUGE ASS train on the main line and blocking the Express, and stopping the same train on a steep incline and leaving Emily to hold it while they bickered and chased each other up the hill. I mean honestly, they were acting more like Bill and Ben: Indistinguishable twins who frequently argue with each other over petty bullsh!t. The Caledonian Twins are absolute badasses who get sh!t done and clearly love each other very much. So why ruin them like this, Mattel?!

Second off.....this is something to do with a specific event (Brace yourselves for a long-ass explanation). In "Break Van," one of the notable events is Donald ramming a signal box (I'll explain). It's played off as an accident, but the book HEAVILY implies that this was intentional, with the line "But Donald didn't say what he was sorry for. We know, don't we?" and Douglas saying "Anyone would think, that Donald had his accident on purpose!" That's a huge wink wink from the book to the readers. And when you stop and think about it, Donald's motivation for this becomes clear. Think about everything that has happened to them thus far. Smuggling Douglas onto Sodor gave both of them a lot to lose, Douglas especially. By the time "Break Van" happens, Douglas has screwed up twice. And then the cherry on the top comes in the form of that motherf%^king Spiteful Brake Van making him late. At this point, the twins KNOW that Douglas is in TFC's black books and would be the one sent home after the trials if nothing is done. So to make TFC's decision more difficult, Douglas would either have to do better, or Donald would have to do worse. Donald chooses the latter option and it works, with TFC explicitly confirming this.

Now, In EITM, Douglas has been telling Emily about various incidents involving Donald from past seasons, and eventually start talking about the signal box incident. And given the significance of that event........it felt pretty darn scummy to hear them making light of that. That made me feel uncomfortable. Like... it's less "heehee, Donald is clumsy" and more "Donald purposefully injured himself and destroyed NWR property in an effort to keep his brother safe." I can see why Donald would be especially angry about this. It couldn't have been painless ramming into that signal box or fun getting lectured by Sir Topham Hatt, only for his brother to make light of it by laughing about it behind his back with another engine. And while we're on the topic, considering the bond between these brothers you cannot, in ANY WAY, convince me that Douglas would EVER talk sh!t about his brother behind his back to another engine. EVER.

Last off.....god, I REALLY feel for Emily in this episode. She may not be one of my absolute favourite characters, but she didn't deserve this, at all. I actually do like the idea of Donald, Douglas and Emily being a fun little trio, and I wish that it could have been done here.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok wow, this turned out way longer than I expected for my first written Tumblr post. I hope people actually read this. If you reached the end, thanks for reading.

Also, if you wanna see something funny related to EITM, @jammyjams1910 did a fan dub of some scenes from the episode which had me laughing my ass off.

-Kenora

[hood-ex]

so ive only watched a few spn episodes ever, and your tags whenever you talk about any batfam member and comparing it to them makes me curious about your full thoughts regarding them, as in: who do you think dick is more like between dean and sam?

Dick shares qualities and experiences with both brothers, but I personally think he's more like Sam than he is like Dean.

I think when Dick was younger, he more closely resembled Dean in the sense that he started fighting young as Robin, and he wanted to be Robin. Likewise, Dean was brought into the hunter fold (or the knowledge of it) earlier on in life, and he enjoyed hunting, unlike Sam.

Dick and Dean also had a more similar relationship with their fathers. Bruce had high expectations for Dick to be Robin while John had high expectations for Dean to protect and provide for Sam. Essentially, if Bruce and John told their sons to jump, Dick and Dean would be the ones asking, "How high?"

Despite that, I think Dick and Sam are more similar for the following reasons:

Dick and Sam are more independent. Dick left Robin behind as well as his place at Bruce's side so he could become his own man and hero. Sam left a life of hunting behind to go to college and to live a normal life. Sam was also left by himself a lot when John and Dean went hunting, leaving him to fend for himself many times.

Dick went to law school and apparently has a law degree. Sam went to Stanford and intended to go to law school until he got dragged back into the hunting business. Speaking of school, Dick and Sam were more academically studious than Dean.

Dick and Sam are both good at leading teams. Dick has led multiple teams, and Sam led a group of hunters to take down the British Men of Letters as well as led members from the apocalypse world.

Dick and Sam both have a repeated history of loss of autonomy. Both are possessed or taken control of quite a few times.

Dick and Sam are generally more health conscious and aren't as gluttonous as Dean.

Dick and Sam are more empathetic/compassionate. Dick is willing to extend a hand to others even when they stumble on their path. Sam's empathy deals more with morality and how he realizes that not all monsters are inherently bad and that they don't all deserve to die. Sam can also be a lot more gentle and understanding when dealing with monsters or victims (hence why Dean once remarked that Sam was always saying "pansy" stuff to people).

Sam would absolutely murder Joker if given the chance since he HATES clowns and fears them. Dick and Sam have clown killing solidarity.

Dick and Sam's guilt has pushed them to extremes on a few occasions. For example, Dick and the Blockbuster situation. Dick tried to convict himself to prison over it. According to Bruce, he had also been showing suicidal tendencies during that period. Sam is similar in that he saw his imprisonment in hell for 100+ years as atonement for his sin (aka getting tricked into freeing Lucifer from his cage which then started the apocalypse). He also was going to let himself die after doing a series of trials because he no longer valued his life after viewing himself as a screw-up/unworthy.

When they take parental roles, Dick and Sam are more patient and understanding with their kids. Dick with Damian and Sam with Jack (Jack is a nephilim who becomes Castiel, Sam, and Dean's kid). Now Dean is actually great with kids (no surprise since he's got a baby brother) but he's horrible to Jack. I actually don't even like to think of him as one of Jack's parents because he never really trusted Jack and wanted him dead multiple times. (SPN characterization was not always... the best... in those later seasons alksda.) And listen, sometimes Dick did lose his patience with Damian, but he was never horrible to him the way Dean was with Jack.

There are also ways Dick, Sam, and Dean are all similar such as how they're all clever and inventive. Dick's a detective and uses his skills to solve problems. He also builds gadgets or inventions to assist him in his cases.

Hunting monsters also involves some form of detective work, but Sam is smart in other ways such as figuring out how to do a reverse exorcism on the spot. In season 11 when Sam got infected by a rabid virus and was trying to find a cure, he lured a rabid man to him with a video and then zapped him with a taser he built with materials from a hardware store.

Sam will be referred to as the brains of the operation, but Dean is smart as well, and Sam even says so in canon. Dean's good at lore and at figuring things out on a hunt. Plus, he's an amazing mechanic and knows how to work a car, which is something that he shares in common with Dick. Sam is less so involved with the mechanics of the car, but Dean taught him more about it before he was dragged to hell.

All three of them are also intimate with sacrifice. In general, they give up so much of their own lives to help others. In specific, Dick sacrificed everything to infiltrate Spyral. Sam sacrificed himself to lock Lucifer away in hell. Dean sacrificed the rest of his life to bring Sam back to life. And those are only a few examples. They sacrifice so much more.

[ezrisdax-archive]

Going to go with DS9 for your "5 things you'd change" ask meme. Curious to hear your thoughts :з

send me a tv show/book/fandom and i’ll say the top 5 things i’d change about it

So, I'm biased and I'm tumblr user ezrisdax which means I need Ezri to exist but that said I'd change how Jadzia died. I've personally never been a fan of that, the ending and how she said her goodbye to Worf and Sisko was fine but Dukat killing her like that just...did not appeal to me at all, I hated that. Now how I'd have her die I don't know. Maybe while she was stuck in the Changeling mind trap place they gave her a drug and it's been slowly tearing down her ability to host the symbiont. (maybe that also means it can be removed but Jadzia has to be rushed to Trill and in a coma and thus gone for a time and Ezri is there still, I can still come up with Jadzia lives AUs right?). Or have her die defending the station just not...turning around and hey Dukat is there. At least let her get one punch in to him please.

Ezri and Julian and I don't have to expand on that, dear god, no.

Worf and Jadzia's wedding, not the wedding itself but the lack of the TNG characters. Like yeah I get not wanting to pay them etc etc but also listen, I need Jadzia and Deanna meeting properly and teasing Worf. It has always bothered me they weren't there for his wedding.

Jadzia's lack of interaction with other characters after Worf's arrival. I do feel starting season five it gets really bad; she doesn't have a lot of interactions with the others that don't also involve Worf in some capacity after that and while I do enjoy that ship I wanted more weird Trill adventures as it's own thing.

Alexander's whole thing in DS9, I didn't think it fit him at all and I absolutely hated it. Like first of all he should have just been with Worf anyway I thought we went through this in TNG and second of all he's never been interested in the Klingon stuff and he shouldn't have to and then why did they make him an idiot at it? He was a smart kid, c'mon.

Did I say top five? Just kidding here's more because I can't decide. Everything about Profit and Lace. I tend to skip over that episode during rewatches and it's bad. I think they should have brought Pel back instead and have another episode with her where it shows how much she's flourished and profited in the Gamma Quadrant.

I minute thing that's also always bothered me, Mirror Jadzia dies for....???? reasons? Like Ezri in the Mirror verse is Ezri Tigan, she doesn't have or need the symbiont and they just drop that Jadzia is dead that episode for zero reasons, like why couldn't she be away on a mission or something. I'm sorry but that stuck in my head and ate away at me for the longest time.

Sisko and Ezri and the lack of a relationship in any way after the third episode of season seven. Like she Dax and she pulls him back in and I think them navigating a new relationship again where this time Sisko is the mentor figure would be way way way more interesting then the Ezri/Julian storyline they stuck in instead.

VIC FONTAINE. I hate that fucking holoprogram. Too many episodes were about him and why the fuck is there an alive mirror verse version of him?????

Screw SNW I want a DS9 musical episode.

[steve0discusses]

Episode 47 S5: Mana Runs too Slow and it Kills 2 People

Tumblr decided to change the way it does image posts so this is going to be my hell. I can only have max 30 "blocks" of images (yikes) and uploading all your images at once and then just adding text in between is actually not possible! (least it's a nightmare on browser. I have not figured out how to drag my text in between images, so I'm just uploading every image one by one and hoping I don't forget one)

thanks, I hate it!

Peeking up at us over the horizon, our end of the world apocalypse has reached the next step of his rampage: which is to shoot glowing missiles out of it's Dragon crotch until Egypt is destroyed.

Seto is doing his best to look productive, but unfortunately this is Sad Seto, who is still buffering.

Just uh...give him a minute. He has to remember how to be Seto.

(read more under the cut)

I'm pretty sure Kissara told him straight up to call her whenever, and considering how few words they've ever said to each other, you'd think he'd remember the words she said like half an hour ago. Then again, he was kind of...sleeping when that happened. Or hallucinating, or dreaming, or all three.

Bakura and Yami are watching this pan out from the Shadow Game Zone, Bakura kind of nodding slowly while Yami becomes overwhelmed with embarrassment over how much everyone around him is screwing it. This is not meant to be funny, but it was very funny to me.

I have brought this up before, but Bakura does bring up a good point, that this entire arc was kind of against the grain of who Yami became over the course of the last 4 seasons.

+++++STAND BACK I'M GONNA RANT, FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++

Don't get me wrong, Yami LOVES to make bad choices that end the world. But why would he continue to go back here and destroy the world of the future he knows and loves so much? Especially since it already went SO south with Dartz the last time he opened pandora's box?

He has a new identity now, he has so many friends, last arc was just so many women throwing themselves at Yugi. His life is really good! I think they could have developed more of a line of logic between last arc and this arc, but like with a lot of things in this arc, it was rushed.

So him giving up his newfound modern identity that he made all himself through hard work and friendship first off feels kinda bad. Like I'm OK with him being a new guy, he worked hard for that! Lets not go backward now.

And then him coming here to regain his old identity is sort of like the show knew what it must do, but the characters were like "nah." and then went and did it anyway seemingly at gunpoint.

And I kind of wish there was any contrast between who Yami's new identity is in the future and who Yami was in the past. It would be fascinating to dive into the fact he's now two people yet again, even though Yugi is no longer in that bean. but eh save it for the fanfiction, because they needed to end Yugioh in a certain number of episodes.

And that happens sometimes. Stories are character driven, and when you try and drive the characters, they become less like people and more like iconic symbols. Here's our hero. He must do this because he's the hero. That's it, that's the reason. Welcome to Shonen Jump.

+++++++END RANT AKA THIS ARC HAS COOL IDEAS AND I WISH IT HAD ENOUGH TIME TO DO THEM BETTER++++++++

Problem is, Yami isn't that meta. He's dumb though, so in a way it does make a little sense why he had to open the box. He dummy thin.

Dummy thin and still can't read.

And like in case you've jumped in here after my accidental hiatus (hello!) and not realized this, I had to binge watch the rest of the season before we cancelled our Hulu subscription. There was the option of watching it for free on the Yugioh website, but I didn't want to change my Photoshop actions.

So get ready for me to talk about how the ending of this show bothered me, for like 8 episodes. I'll try to keep it in, so we can get there when we get there.

But you can't say lines like "We were meant to be together." in the context of this arc, you can't DO that, show.

Apparently the creator of Yugioh got hospitalized while he wrote this arc, hence the dick king demon. But also it got....messy. We have like 3 seasons of development in like 8 episodes, buckle up. They did the best that they could do with the resource's given, and we'll even get to meet my favorite character a few times before it's over (the Storyboarding God that occasionally guest stars on Yugioh, love that guy)

Back on the playing field, Yami is running out of options, when Isis informs us we can just go to McDonald's and get more McGuffins.

Out of basically no where, Mana zips onto the screen because she's ready to have at least one girl's night before the end of the world. The contrasting energy from both Mana and Isis is peak goth babysitter vs the parrot that hides behind the couch and bites your feet.

Back near Pharaoh's tomb, Yugi is still dueling over a deathpit with the child who these kids think is Ryou bakura.

This is not however, Ryou Bakura. It's sideways adjacent evil Bakura.

And it didn't really matter that this plot point ever happened because it's not like Yugi, Joey, or Tea ever catch on that this isn't Ryou anyway. But at least I, the audience can feel a little bit better about the weird twist by the dub there.

Ryou is still passed out on some stone steps. He's fine.

You might be wondering "Oh so what asinine thing is Isis going to have to do to get the items back?" and uh, you're wrong actually.

Turns out we could have just picked up the items in the desert at any time but I guess we forgot. I'll blame it on Shadi.

Joey Wheeler, who can punch out probably anything but a ghost, chooses to hide behind Tea because he knows she can punch a ghost and I believe it, too.

Back on the surface, is a scene that would have been emotional if it hadn't been 3 minutes. it was NOT enough time to give a proper send off to our girl Isis here, and they tried, but if you imagine the Yakety Sax song playing under this death here, that's about the speed at which this girl biffed it.

speaking of Yakety Sax theme, this is what was happening while Mana was crying her eyes out.,

And you may ask, was it really that goofy? and yes, yes it was.

and like I get it, animation and pacing are really, really hard. Parts of me wonder if maybe on paper this seemed OK. If maybe even as a storyboard this seemed OK. But something you learn quickly when doing any sort of narrative art, is that you need like 2x as much space as you think you do. Pause is an underrated godlike skill that takes a lifetime to master.

However, it still had good stills going on, it still had some lovely direction just...I mean they dropped Isis from top to bottom of that frame so freakin fast it was like she was a dropped banana hahaha.

They still have to carry these items physically to the Pharaoh, and so becuase Mana is a slow runner, 2 people freakin died this episode distracting Zorc. Which is also the title of this episode because I want to send home howfreakin funny that is to me.

Ah, back to Episode 1.

So how breathtaking and epic is the Kaiju fight you ask? Well good thing for you, I capped it.

The look on Seto and Yami's faces about sum it up.

And as quickly as he showed up to do a few silly punches, the great Exodia was cut exactly in half. Don't ask me how the card logic works for that, I have forgotten how this game works already.

Mana finally makes it to Yami, cursed puzzle in hand, and that ends this episode.

Can you imagine adding 7 characters to a story knowing you have to kill all of them individually before the anime arc is over? Breakneck deaths going on here.

Sorry for all you people that were so deeply attached to Shimon, the guy who isn't even Grandpa, by the way. A moment of silence for all 4 of you.

And we get back this thing. This horrible thing made out of thousands of dead people's souls. The thing that trapped him for 5000 years and launched him into the future. The only thing that can save mankind.

(If I have used this Mokuba joke like this before forgive me it was like a different lifetime before I caught covid, and I will not be able to regain those memories because I cannot curse myself with a rude ass puzzle.)

The abusive relationship with the Millennium Puzzle is a whole anime college essay I would write if I had half a brain, but alas I have the immune system and fatigue of a sickly gerbil or a goldfish that feels a little bit chilly. So I will not be writing that in depth episode but like...

Think about how far we've come with this jackass puzzle. And yet, I'm supposed to forgive it? Nah I don't think I have yet. Go to hell, puzzle.

This puzzle can go straight to hell.

Anyway, if you just got here you can read these recaps in chrono order at the link here:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

PS I had to do so much assholery to get that to go to my chrono link and not my main link. They would just. Change my link. They would just change my link every time I pasted it. Tumblr you have GOT to give me my old post editor back omg.

[spookalittlelouder]

Prof. Stein (Soul Eater) X Reader - 'On the Slab'

Content Warnings: Dub-Con, Kidnapping, Knife Play, Fear Play, Medical Play, Stalking

This story is intended for people 18+ ONLY. Minors WILL be blocked.

“And how are we this evening…?”

You lay upon the cold, steel table. Leather straps tightly bind your limbs in place. Only a hospital gown separates your skin from the cool air of the laboratory.

Slowly, you begin to awaken from your slumber. Your hazy eyes adjust to the blinding lamp shining down on your body. You stir as you recognize the situation you’ve found yourself in, struggling against your binds. The straps creak from the force, but do not give.

“It’s completely natural to feel anxious when going to see your doctor, but never fear, I am here to take care of you. Now, shall we begin?”

A tall, gaunt figure stands over you, backlit by the lamp above. He reaches out, his pale fingers extending over your body, slowly unbuttoning the front of your gown to reveal your stomach. A chuckle echoes in the cold room as the figure produces a marker and calmly draws two lines on your smooth skin.

Each stroke of his pen causes you to tremble slightly in anticipation of what will come next. You finally realize what’s happening… You’ve heard about him from the students of the academy. The mad professor obsessed with dissection, but you never thought you’d find yourself on his slab. And yet, here you both are.

“What a lovely specimen... Should I begin cutting here, or here?”

He awaits your response as he steps away from the light. You hear a little clatter of metal, and he returns to your side. In his hand, you notice the glint of steel… a scalpel. Your only answer is gentle sobbing. You hadn’t noticed until now that you had begun crying. Had it been the knife that threatened to open your skin that triggered it? Or had you been tearing up the moment you had awoken in this dreadful situation?

“You know, I’ve read a lot about you. I’ve visited you many times while developing this experiment for you. I needed to observe the existing conditions before I could change any variables… I even brought in someone as a control to see how they’d react to this situation. They responded quite similarly to you. With one exception…”

He hovers above you, his eyes staring deep into you from behind his round glasses, still obscure under the blinding surgery light. He turns the screw inside his head until something catches his eye… A spot of moisture on your gown. Your face grows red as the fear of being cut open is superseded by a different emotion… embarrassment.

“And my hypothesis is proven correct, it seems…”

You look away in shame as he snickers, his looming presence making the wetness worse… How had he known? Why did your body have to betray you like this?

“I always knew there were people who were sexually stimulated by fear, but I have never met one before.”

There is a beat before he chuckles to himself.

“Then again, my sample size has been… limited…”

The gears in his head turn, thinking about what to do next until… *click*

“I found you through an ad you posted online. ‘Looking for someone to take me away and use me however they want.’ Well, you got your wish, hm? But that wasn’t what caught my attention. It had been the list of kinks you wanted to explore that did it. Namely, ‘Fear Play.” I was so fascinated, I spent the rest of that night researching what every term on your list meant… After that, it was simple figuring out who you were through your account- supposed anonymity be damned… So, are we ready to continue the experiment, now that you know more about the methods? ”

You squirm gently in your bindings. You can still feel your heart pounding in your chest from the adrenaline. You take a deep breath and close your eyes for a moment, calming yourself. You look up at your captor and give a small nod. He can’t help but laugh, satisfied with your cooperation.

You can’t wait to be his test subject. To have each and every one of your fantasies rigorously tested on you. To have someone discover everything that makes you tick, or rather, what makes you twitch… His long, strong fingers creep across your stomach, reaching up under your hospital gown. The tips slowly trace across your lips… Your face grows hot and embarrassed again. It’s like he already knows exactly where to touch you… A whimper escapes your mouth.

“This is going to be a most enlightening night. Are you as eager to learn as I am? Or are you just aching for more?”

His finger slides between your lips at that word, and your body tingles with electricity. Your thoughts leak out as the testing begins…

[savage-rhi]

Friends to Lovers prompt with who other than the Beloved Ardyn!

Sharing clothes in a friendly way.

If you Ardyn lovers say you haven't thought about stealing his coat and wearing it, you're lying. I have had so many people come to the same consensus. We all think about it, HA!

@sillylittlevulpine Okay...I indulged A LOT on this one (in my defense, I needed it as much as it was requested). Hope you like it!

Y/N had been staring at Ardyn’s long coat for what seemed like an eternity, debating with themself. The article should’ve been put up a while ago. Instead, the coat was laid out on the floor along with other garments that had been cleaned and mended. 

Curiosity and resentment had built up in Y/N ever since they were assigned to this task. Folding and tidying up the Chancellors' wardrobe was not what they signed up for. Come to think of it, Y/N believed Ardyn didn’t make the request in the first place. From previous conversations, he seemed to pride himself on taking care of most of his personal items. The only time Y/N had encountered behavior to the contrary, was when Ardyn wanted to indulge in food and wine, especially when he wasn’t in the mood to make anything himself. 

This had to be the Imperial Keepers' idea…Y/N thought bitterly to themself. It made sense the longer Y/N thought it through. If Y/N didn’t know better, the Imperial Keeper probably did it to add further insult to injury them, on account they had come down with a nasty cold during the week and had been slow with duties. There was also the spat that happened between Ardyn and the Keeper. The latter having been slighted, purposefully by Ardyn to prove a rather crude point to his colleagues. In all honesty, with the rotten attitude the Imperial Keeper had that day, Y/N thought he deserved it. 

“The jerk weaponized me as a biohazard to the Chancellor,” Y/N muttered to themself, letting their conclusion sink in. It made sense. Why else send an obviously sick attendant to take care of a higher-ups personal items even though it was out of character for those services to be requested? 

“I should leave. Have someone else do it. Screw points getting docked.” Y/N said aloud, but then they found themself back in the conundrum that had them stuck on Ardyn’s living room floor in the first place. The resentment had come and gone, now curiosity came flooding back. 

Y/N’s tired eyes combed over the material of the jacket, admiring the stitchwork and the different textures complimenting each other. They recalled Ardyn telling them long ago that it was customized just for him. He certainly wasn’t lying. The tiny details here and there was evidence that whoever made it had very careful hands and machine-like focus. 

The coat wasn’t the most expensive thing Y/N had come across while being in service to the empire, but the reputation it got from its owner was enough to make Y/N scared of ruining it by touch, even though the poor garment had seen better days. Y/N lost count of how many times Ardyn had to get the coat mended because he got into an altercation, or didn’t bother to take it off when going into hostile land. One would think he didn’t care much for it, but Y/N remembered Ardyn’s wrath when someone tried to pawn it off for gil after stealing it. He was stuck in his chambers for two whole days while people searched for the thief. It was quite the tantrum over a material good, however, Y/N figured it held some strong sentimental value. Plus, it looked warm and inviting. Something Y/N desperately needed at the moment. 

Y/N’s body shuddered from the fever they had been enduring. They hated this. How one moment their body would feel boiling hot, then would feel so cold it was as if Shiva herself resurrected and brought another age of ice upon Eos. The goosebumps down their arms felt like tiny mosquito bites, and they coughed into their arm horribly as their temps began to cool off once more. 

Ardyn and the rest of the Imperial Council were currently in session. Those meetings tended to last several hours. There were still two hours left before Y/N’s next assignment would be put in place by the Imperial Keeper, so they had plenty of downtime. Maybe…Y/N thought to themself. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt anything if they put it on for a bit, just to get warm again. 

“Gods be damned,” Y/N sighed, closing their eyes and bitterly huffed before grabbing the coat. 

Ardyn let out a deep breath when he approached the doors to his chambers, rubbing his eyes for a moment. After enduring a half hour of old men fighting over scraps when it came to the war budget, he promptly conjured a tall tale to get out of staying put. Somehow Aldercapt approved and he made a beeline for the doors.

“You are not leaving me alone with senile degenerates,” Verstael whispered with contention as Ardyn walked past his chair. The infighting was so loud, that no one paid the side conversation any mind. 

“My dear friend, you're an old-timer among the flock yourself!” Ardyn mused, putting a hand on his peer’s shoulder, earning a raised brow from Verstael as he looked up to meet Ardyn’s mischievous grin. “You might as well be insulting the years of wisdom that show decadently upon your wrinkled face!” 

“Hmpf,” Verstael narrowed his eyes, shaking his head and he slapped Ardyn’s hand away. His right eye twitched from the chuckle that escaped his colleague. “Funny you call me such a thing when you should be dust at this rate.” 

“True as that may be,” Ardyn began. “Between the two of us old men, I’m the better-looking one.” 

“You better leave before we not only have a mutiny among the council, but a homicide as well.” 

“And I’m off!” Ardyn chuckled, giving a sarcastic wave with his right hand before departing. 

The memory had Ardyn amused for a time in the present. It was enough to pull him out of his negative thoughts from before, now focusing on things that gave him pleasure. Taking a nap after nursing a bottle of wine was starting to become more enthralling by the second, and he wasted no time venturing into his abode. 

Ardyn had done this so many times, that he didn’t initially know he wasn’t by himself. He started going through his routine; taking off his vest and discarding it followed by his red scarf. He hung them up on a hook nearby, then started thinking about his jacket; wondering if it had been returned from the cleaners yet. That’s when Ardyn stopped midway taking off his hat, hearing a noise coming from his television set in his living room. He put his hat back on, and cautiously began to tiptoe toward the noise, bracing himself for the possibility of a fight. 

To Ardyn’s surprise and shock, he saw Y/N sitting on the couch, leaning forward toward the TV. His coat snugged around their body like an oversized blanket, as if he had never been its proper owner. To say he was speechless was an understatement. No one ever had the gall to get this comfortable in his personal quarters and he became greatly amused at the sight. 

Ardyn decided to let the silence play out for a little while, making observations while he ventured close without making a sound up until he cleared his throat. 

“I see you’ve made yourself at home.” Ardyn sarcastically stated, making his presence known upon arriving at the back of the couch. 

“Shit!” Y/N exclaimed. They attempted to scramble off the couch, only to fall over themselves in a clumsy fashion, while quickly grabbing for the remote and turning the television off. Panting heavily, they quickly spun and looked up at Ardyn. Y/N watched him raise a brow, smiling like he caught someone red-handed while he crossed his arms. 

“I--can explain this,” Y/N gestured at the coat. “I promise I wasn’t going to steal--”

“My attire looks rather fetching on you,” Ardyn interrupted. His eyes scanned Y/N over and his smile grew. “I’m almost jealous you’re outperforming me.” 

“What?” Y/N flatly blurted and furrowed their brows.  “You’re not upset?” 

“Far from it,” Ardyn smirked. “Of all the things I could’ve come home to, I’d rather deal with an Imperial Help trying on my clothes for kicks than an assassin wanting to present my head to the King of Lucis. Although I’ve grown fond of our conversations, Y/N, I don’t recall requiring your services for the day. Come to think of it, I don’t believe we were to see one another until the weekend. Did you miss me that much?”

"You wish..." Y/N rolled their eyes playfully and sighed, feeling relief wash over them at the fact he wasn’t enraged. Had this been Verstael, or anyone else, the consequences would’ve been costly. 

“The Imperial Keeper said you needed help with your laundry today. I figured he was lying, but I came out of obligation.” Y/N shrugged. 

“How dutiful of you,” Ardyn quipped. He briefly glared, making a mental note to have a word with the Keeper at a later date. Ardyn focused suddenly on Y/N’s features, noting their color looked more dull than usual, followed by their body tremoring under his coat. 

“What’s wrong?” Y/N asked, breaking Ardyn out of his observations. 

“You’re unwell.” 

“Am I that obvious?” Y/N teased, then sniffled and almost felt themself sneeze. 

“You’d certainly give a fresh corpse a run for its gil.” Ardyn chuckled darkly, enjoying the brief glare Y/N shot at him before they began coughing, and instinctively he took a step forward. Ardyn only stopped when Y/N gestured with their free hand for him to halt. 

“I don’t want to get you sick,” Y/N said in between fits. “I can take your coat to the cleaning center, and get it decontaminated.” 

“There’s no need for such hysterics,” Ardyn waved them off and approached Y/N’s personal space. He didn’t give them any time to react before he felt their forehead and then checked their pulse. “I don’t get sick easily like most. However, I am curious as to why the Imperial Keeper would send someone of your ailment my way. Feeling hot and cold?” 

“Uh huh,” Y/N nodded, recoiling a little from Ardyn’s touch due to sensitivity. “I think he wanted me to get you sick if I’m being honest. He didn't take too kindly to being thrown under a bus at the emperor's reception.” 

“Well, he’s going to be in for a rude awakening,” Ardyn said as a matter of fact. His tone was bordering between sinister and playful. He took note of Y/N’s fear, and his expression softened after he finished assessing. “Do you have other obligations today?” 

“I have a councilmen’s filing cabinet to clean out, and a few beds to make.” Y/N breathed. “Why do you ask?” 

“I must implore you to stay and rest here.” 

“Here?” 

“Why not? You seemed to be getting on quite well making use of my home for your own enjoyment.” Ardyn said playfully with a shrug. 

“The Imperial Keeper--” 

“Can kiss both our asses for all I care,” Ardyn finished, leaving Y/N speechless at his bold proclamation. “I’m not sending you away when you clearly have a fever. That wouldn’t sit well on my conscience.” 

“I thought you didn’t like people. You said so yourself a few days ago that company drains you.”  

“That remains true as ever, alas,” Ardyn paused and he smiled while his right hand cupped Y/N’s face. His thumb carefully stroked over their cold skin and his eyes sadly glanced over their features. “You are in no such category.” 

“Oh…” 

Dumbfounded didn’t quite capture how Y/N felt at the moment, but it was close. The only thing Y/N could really focus on was how warm his touch was, and how their pulse seemed to skyrocket at the act. As soon as it began, Ardyn retreated his hand away and took a step back, and Y/N foolishly found themself missing the contact. 

Their eyes focused on Ardyn as his right hand began rubbing at his chin. His gaze became scrutinizing as if he was judging a piece of art. Y/N didn’t know if they should’ve felt flattered or scared. Maybe both. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Ah, it’s nothing too drastic I assure you, but I am finding that although my coat suits you well, it’s missing something that ties it all together,” Ardyn said as a matter of fact. He wasted no effort in taking off his hat, and with care, he placed it on top of Y/N’s head.

“There we go! The wardrobe crisis has been averted!”  

The hat sunk a little on Y/N initially, and they used their left thumb to prop it back up. They laughed, feeling their face turning red at Ardyn’s action. He too chortled, looking impressed with himself up until Y/N appeared to be frightened. 

“You look as if the Gods will smite you at any second.” Ardyn pointed out. 

“You're more open minded to classes mingling than others. I think we both know had this been any other councilmen or the emperor, I wouldn’t be standing. Especially if I was caught trying on their clothes.” 

“True,” Ardyn nodded. “Yet here you are.” 

“Here I am.” 

A calm silence fell between Y/N and Ardyn as they fondly looked upon the other. It was only when Ardyn guided Y/N to the couch did both break away from the spell. He lay down and got comfortable, and calmly guided Y/N to lie against him. He could sense their apprehension and spoke up. 

“I can run cold unlike most people,” Ardyn paused, reminding himself not to get too comfortable revealing his secrets. “Between the coat and myself, you’ll have an easier time resting.”

“Isn’t this overstepping several boundaries?” Y/N murmured against his chest. Sure enough, he was true to his word: it was as if on cue, Ardyn had gone from feeling like a warm furnace to a cold sheet that had been left to dry in the bitter wind. It was eerie, the whole thing, but their mind and body were too tired and miserable to think any deeper about it. The exhaustion from the long day, on top of the excitement from earlier, had Y/N feeling drowsy.

“Yes as a matter of fact,” Ardyn murmured and closed his eyes. “Alas, no one’s here to bear witness so it doesn’t matter. What happens in my chambers, stays in my chambers. However, if you’re uncomfortable, you can retreat to my room. I won’t disturb you while I remain here. I was planning to take a nap anyway.” 

“I can’t hog your bed,” Y/N’s eyes fluttered open and closed. Their mind was being lulled to rest by how cool Ardyn felt, and how cozy his jacket felt against them. “What about the Imperial Keeper?” 

“I’ll deal with it. You won’t receive consequence, I assure you.” 

“What about--”

“Y/N,”

“Yes?”

“Be a dear and hush. You're not the only one who had a long and dreary day dealing with men who are vultures.” He commanded bluntly. 

Y/N’s eyes finally gave into the weight and shut, all the while their lips smiled so big from his remark it began to hurt for a time. The last thing they could recall before drifting off into unconsciousness, was the rumbling of Ardyn’s chest when he laughed at their weak chuckle.

As soon as Ardyn felt Y/N fall asleep, he opened his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose. Frustration graced his amber hues while his right arm wrapped around Y/N’s body. This little friendship wasn’t supposed to get to this point. Ardyn had a feeling Y/N thought the same thing. He wondered how much longer it would be before someone in court caught onto the special treatment he freely gave to them. He also wondered how long it would be before Y/N would discover what he really was. That made Ardyn more uneasy than the former and his mind began to travel. All it would take is one slip-up, one mistake to undo his mask.

It became clear that Ardyn wouldn’t get that nap he yearned for after all, and he resided himself to his fate. 

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