#it is a pathetic miserable sight and he WANTS to be alone so no one can see him like that

[marc--chilton]

still losing my mind at the way houses relationship with john would have fucked up the way he sees being an omega. just,,, teen house, young and confused, experiencing these absoloutely brutal heats. not understanding why they are so bad and hard when theyre supposed to be a time where an omega feels good. already feeling broken and wrong, and then having to face john's anger and disappointment over him being an omega

like i can only imagine how it would affect him in heat, a time where he would be less able to think coherently. and constantly remembering how traumatic and horrible his heats as a teen were, the memory making him feel bad and in turn making him feel physically worse. just like,,, a constant feedback loop of remembering and feeling bad -> feeling physically worse in turn -> reminding himself even more of his childhood and feeling worse

i feel like after having to deal with his first few heats without a strong family net to acclimate to the changes, once house is outta there and doing his own thing he tries to never deal with his heats alone. he marks his cycle religiously, makes deals with alphas in med school to help him through them, or even finds street suppressants if he's especially desperate.

man. you just know john has put him outside for some of his heats, too. nothing to nest with, no scent blocking patches, just left him in the yard like a sacrificial lamb. it goes without saying how dangerous that is.

hell, once he's employed i wouldn't be surprised if he stole something from the hospital to bring home in case a heat comes up that he can't deal with, something that'll knock him out for the worst of it.

[rosexxi]

Angry Confession 🐻🤎

a stupid secret admirer causes Theodore to finally confess, as messy as it may be

fluff // t.n // x slytherin! reader

Theodore Nott was angry, scratch that, he was livid. If looks could kill, everyone within a 10m radius of him would be goners. He huffed in anger as he practically stormed down the corridor, finally able to leave the stuffy classroom.

It was just his luck that today of all days, his girl y/n had recieved a love letter from a stupid secret admirer. Well he says his girl, but they both knew they were anything but exclusive. Sure you both flirted (a lot) and might have stared into each others eyes for a bit too long, but that didn't change the fact that you were only friends. Yeah just friends.

He knew deep down he had no right to be angry. It was only yesterday when you had seen him making out with some girl in the year below, but that didn't change the fact that some guy thought it was ok to send you some pathetic confession. He could do a lot better.

"What's crawled up your arse?" asked Draco at dinner. Theo didn't respond, instead he just scowled at his friend. A scowl that Draco had seen one too many times.

"He's just upset someones finally made a move on y/n."

"I don't know why you're so shocked Nott. Y/n's popular, loads of guys like her." Chimed in Blaise.

"Blaise is right. Besides it's not like you want her, you look fine with all the girls you make out with. Just let y/n be happy and stop leading her on." Said Pansy, sticking up for you. She was tired of seeing her best friend cry over Theo constantly play with her emotions.

"How can she be happy with some letter written by god knows who." Theo said. "She knows who wrote it, look there they are." pointed out Pansy.

And when Theo thought his day couldn't get any worse, he just had to turn to the Grand Hall entrance to see y/n being towered by Cormac Mclaggen. Not that big idiot, he thought. The anger rushing to his head once more causing him to abruptly stand up. Anyone but him. Theo hated everything about Mclaggen; he was clumsy, took too much space, was the dumbest kid he had ever met and knew how to run his mouth.

He didn't even pay attention to his friends behind him pleading him to sit down and before he knew it, he was marching over to the two.

"What do you think you're doing?" he yelled accusingly at Mclaggen, grabbing him by the collar and pinning him to the wall. Theodore wasn't scared of anyone, especially not this lanky git.

"Nott what the fuck are you doing?" you asked, trying to desperately pull him off the poor gryffindor. But it was pointless. Before you knew it, the two were having some pathetic fight. Throwing punches and harmful words for what reason you don't know.

Scoffing at the pathetic sight before you, you walked off to your dorm. You hated Theo. You hated how he would flirt with you then kiss some other girl. You hated how angry he got anytime some guy would be nice to you. And most of all you hated how much you didn't actually hate him. It seemed as though he just loved to see you miserable and unable to move on from him.

Some time had passed since the incident at dinner. Your roomate and best friend Pansy had come and gone and you were now alone in your room reading the letter Cormac had previously gave to you. It was sweet, you thought. No guy had ever said nice stuff like that to you before. Thanks for ruining this one Theo, you shook your head.

Just then, there came a knock at the door. But when you opened it to reveal a wounded Theodore, you instantly tried to close it.

"No hear me out y/n." he said, his voice slightly rising as he pushed the door open and let himself in.

"No Theo. You hear me out, what is wrong with you?" you sounded angry. You never got angry at anyone, not even at him no matter how many times he had pushed your buttons. He stopped in his tracks upon hearing you. "Why must you always do this to me? You flirt with me, make me feel wanted and then turn around and make out with the whole school in front of me. Like its some game to play with me. The one time some guy makes me feel pretty and wanted, you have to get angry and hurt him, and ruin my chances." all of a sudden, all the hurt he made you feel surfaced, and you couldn't help the tears that were falling.

Theo could only look at you in shock. And for the first time in his life, he actually felt disgusted by his own actions. How could he not think you were pretty. How could he allow you to think you were unwanted. He took a step forward to you, with his arms open. You slapped his hands away, and hit his chest softly, "do you want me to be alone?" you whispered, as you sobbed into your hands.

In that moment Theo felt his heart break. He stood frozen, as he stared at your weak, vulnerable body. He wanted to hold you, but how could he when he was the reason that you felt this way. He always loved your eyes, and now he was responsible for the tears that fell from them.

"Y/n?" he whispered, "I'm, I'm so sorry." he manged to get out, "I'm such an awful person, how could I make you cry, how could I make you feel this way. You deserve to be happy and loved by whoever you want. I'm so sorry angel, I don't even know why I did it. I just was so jealous of all these boys talking so highly of you and they were all good boys from good families. I didn't think you could ever want to be with someone like me. How could someone as perfect as you, love someone like me. I thought I only deserved meaningless physical flings. I'll go talk to Mclaggen for you. You don't have to forgive me but I'm sorry."

Now it was your turn to be in shock, Theodore never spoke of his feelings or emotions. The best you ever got out of him was "I'm fine". So to hear his sudden confession caught you off guard. His confession that he believes he's incapable of love, his confession that he loves you.

He turned to leave your dorm, his head hanging low. "Theo." you called as you grabbed his hand, forcing him to turn back and look into your glassy eyes. "You love me?"

It took him time to nod in response, he was busy studying your face. He finally nodded and you couldn't help but throw yourself into his arms. But he stopped you, he held your face in his hands, "You can't be with me y/n, you're too good for me. You'll have to be seen around the castle with my grumpy face." he joked, trying to make you laugh as he wiped a tear from your eye.

"I don't care Theo. I don't care, I just want you to stop hurting me."

"I won't ever again, I'll never do anything to hurt you." he muttered as he shook his head at you. He hesitated a moment, before he pulled your face into his, and he finally did what he had wanted to do for as long as he could remember. He kissed you and Merlin was it worth it. You tasted like strawberry lipgloss and it was like he was kissing an angel. You were his angel.

You suddenly pulled back and held up a finger to him, "You can't mess about anymore, you have to be my boyfriend now."

"Is that a threat," he laughed, "If so, threaten me all you want. If only you become my girlfriend. I'll be the best boyfriend for you y/n, I promise. I promise I won't let a day go by where you don't feel loved or pretty. How could I mess about when I have an angel with me."

"Pinky promise?"

He shook his head at your childish actions, but obeyed your command, making sure to bring up your pinky to his lips, so he could place a soft kiss.

"Can we go clean you up now please, you really taste like blood."

"Of course we can, I'm sorry for ruining our first kiss." he said suddenly feeling very insecure.

"Don't be, it was exactly how I pictured our first kiss to be." you joked as you both made your way to the bathroom.

"Ah so you've imagined this moment?" he asked teasingly, the old sarcastic Theodore was back.

"Don't act like you haven't."

"Ah you got me there. Want to know something funny?" he asked as you began cleaning up his face with a wet cloth and a soft hand.

You nodded in response.

"When I saw you with that stupid love confession, I made it my mission to do a better confession to you."

"Well it was certainly a memorable one." You laughed. He was happy to see you laugh again, after he caused you to cry. Your laugh was the sweetest sound he had ever heard and he could never get tired of it. He stared lovingly at you, as he had done in the past so many times without you knowing. But now he could stare for as long as he wanted to, he wanted you to see. And to know that you were so very loved.

"I'll take that."

[mydarllinglover]

Stars Collided || Seven

Previous

"You would think she was being sentenced to death." Ahsoka sighed.

"Privileged people have a weird way with coping." Anakin shrugged, as they watched Lovisa pour another glass of  wine.

"I can hear you." She sniffled, as she sipped the red drink.

"Why did we need to be here for this?" Ahsoka asked her, directly.

"Because I don't like to be alone, and you're hired to do what I say."

The two shared another look.

"Not because we're great company?" Anakin asked.

"I asked the two of you here, and no one else, didn't I?" She glared at him, as she grabbed two more glasses, filling them.

"Basically, what she is trying to say, is that she loves us, and we're her best friends." Ahsoka smirked.

"You may go now." Lovisa switched her glare to the girl.

"Always in such denial." Anakin grinned widely, as he moved around the counter to stand near her.

"I must love terrible company." She rolled her eyes, sipping her drink, and stepping away from him.

"So, you do love us." Ahsoka cheered.

"Bye." Lovisa walked out from the room, where they stored their wine.

"Where are you going?" The two pains in Lovisa's asses, followed her.

"To drown myself." She answered, walking down the hall, and towards an exit of the large castle.

"But then Anakin's gonna get in trouble for letting you die, and I'll be out of a job." Ahsoka told her.

"That doesn't really seem like my problem." She shrugged. "I won't care, if I'm dead."

"That's what you really want?" Anakin asked.

"No." She groaned. "But it doesn't matter what I want."

"What is that?" He pushed. "What do you want?"

She continued to march through the grass, no destination in mind.

"Everything that I can't have." She refused to give details. "I don't want to be tied to a stupid throne." She tore her tiara off her head, throwing it away from her, but Anakin moved to swipe it up, as he and Ahsoka both followed.

"It won't be terrible, Lovey." Her friend told her.

"Like you could even begin to understand." She snapped.

"Then explain it to us." Anakin urged.

"My life has just been poured down the drain." She was frustrated, and angry. "I have spent my whole life, knowing that I was the spare, whatever I decided to do with my life, never really mattered, as long as it didn't affect the Kingdom or my family, in a bad way, and I would be able to do whatever they needed of me, but now?" She laughed harshly. "Now, my father is going to force me to find a suitable husband, to share the throne with, and it won't be mine, it will be his, and I will have to bare his children, so that he has an heir, they won't be mine, but his, I don't even want children! I won't ever be able to get away, my duties will be doubled, I will never get a say, for my own country, but everyone will be looking at me, when something goes wrong. I wanted to travel, to see great, amazing sights, from all over, and be able to paint, and be happy, and to live, but that's gone, it's all gone! And she got to make that decision, because she gets to be happy, with the one she wants, because she's older, and she gets to step away, because she had a back up, and I don't, so I'm stuck here, and its not fair, it's not fair!" She fell to the ground, to her knees, as she breathed heavy, the weight lifting from her chest, as she continued to stare down, at the skirt of her dress. "I've never been allowed to make a decision in my life, I hate it, I hate them, I hate my title, I hate it all! And I'm going to be miserable and alone, for the rest of my pathetic existence, I hate being alone, my biggest fear is coming true, and no one even cares to ask about what I think, how I feel. They didn’t even bother to tell me, they all knew and kept it from me" She dropped her face into her hands. "Everyone just thinks of me as this wild and selfish, spoiled brat, that always wants her own way, but nothing ever goes my way."

Anakin and Ahsoka looked at each other, they both felt guilty, they felt terrible for teasing and tormenting her, for not bothering to truly see things from her side, yes, she was living lavishly, and was better off than them, she never truly knew what it was like to come from nothing, but unlike her, they had made choices to be where they are now.

"You won't be alone, Lovey." Ahsoka told her, gently, "You will always have me, and I won't let that happen."

Lovisa looked up, her waterline was brimming with tears, "Do you swear?" Her voice cracked, as she asked.

"On my own life." Ahsoka held a hand to her heart, as she also sunk to the ground. "And that does not need to happen, you can rule, make this what you want it to be, you don't need anybody else, and your parents aren't going anywhere, you still have so much time, to do all the things you want to do. You can travel, and fall in love-"

"I can't." She interrupted.

"Yes, you can" Ahsoka smiled encouragingly.

"No, Ahsoka, I can't fall in love." She looked past her friend, at the boy stood behind her, who was already looking at the princess, and he didn't care to look away.

His own chest was beginning to feel heavy, the idea of her moving on, getting married, and starting a family, with anyone but him, it drove him crazy, and since their first kiss, it had been keeping him up, at night, thinking about it, but he could not help himself, the jealousy was too consuming.

But she was a princess, and he was a Jedi.

"Oh..." Ahsoka whispered.

"I wish to go to bed." Lovisa sighed, getting up from the ground, shaking the grass out of her dress.

"I shall accompany you, princess" Anakin told her, nodding to Ahsoka that it was okay for her to go to her own space.

"No need, Jedi." She continued to walk back to the castle.

"Of course there is, I have to make sure that you get to your quarters, safely. That is my job, after all." He replied, walking beside her.

"Very well, then." She wiped her tears, as she kept her focus on where she was going. Her palms were facing down, as she tried to walk properly, like she was taught, and yes, she was made to walk with books on her head, as a child.

But then she was swooped up, in someones arms, Anakin's arms.

She let out a squeal of surprise, as she hooked her arms around his neck, scared that he might drop her, but he carried her through the castle, as though she weighed nothing, even with her poofy skirt, he didn't even seem to care.

"What are you doing, Ani?" She asked him.

"Carrying you to your room, Princess, you seemed to have been struggling." He told her, not bothering to look down at her face, so she was looking up at his. "And I just wanted an excuse to be close to you." He also admitted.

Her cheeks turned rosy, but she didn't say anything else.

When they had reached her bedroom, He only set her down, once he had reached her bed, so he could sit her down on her mattress.

"Do you need anything, before I go?" He asked.

She hesitated, before thinking.

"Yes, I do, actually." She told him.

"And what is that?" He rose a brow in curiosity.

"Well, normally Ahsoka helps me undress, and I can't do it myself." She looked down, bashfully, what if he said no? Then she'd be stuck sleeping in an uncomfortable corset all night.

"O- Of course, M'lady." She didn't miss how he looked taken aback at her request, she had found that it didn't take much to fluster the skilled Jedi.

"Thank you, Skywalker." She called him by his last name, she thought that it would make things less awkward, sound more professional.

She turned around, so that her back was facing him, and she waited for only a few moments, before she could feel his presence behind her, it sent goosebumps all along her skin, and he hadn't even touched her.

Anakin untied the knot at the bottom of her dress, before unravelling the ribbon, finally letting her body relax from the tight prison.

His finger tips danced around her back, she could feel his breath on her ear, and she fought the reaction to shiver.

His hands moved towards her shoulders, then he was gently pulling down the small sleeves.

"Thank you." Lovisa gasped, sharply, breaking herself out of the spell, as she took a step forward, creating distance from him, then she moved towards her divider, so that she could change, picking an blue nightgown, with a matching sheer blue robe, with the fluffy cuffs and hem.

"Would you like me to leave now, princess?" Anakin asked her.

"No, you haven't checked whether my room is secure." She made up an excuse, just to keep him a little longer.

"Of course." He nodded, before walking towards her bathroom, to check it, and then it was her balcony, he even bothered to check under her bed, as she watched. "Well, it looks safe and sound." He told her, as she sat on her bed, he was only a few feet away from her. "I shall leave you to rest."

He only walked a few steps, towards the door, before she stopped him.

"Ani, can you-.... would you wait with me?" She asked. "I don't want to be alone, and I want you- your company, I would like your company." She reiterated.

He was by her side in milliseconds.

"Yes." He said. "I can wait with you."

"Thank you." She said in a hushed breath.

She then got off from the end of the bed, so that she could get underneath the duvet, and lay at her pillows. "Will you lay with me?"

"If that is what you desire." He answered, copying her movements, as he got into the bed, on the other side.

“Are you comfortable like that?” She looked at his clothes.

“I suppose so.” He shrugged. “It’s not what I typically wear to bed, but that’s okay.”

“Well, how do you usually sleep?” She asked him.

“Not a lot.” He bit down a smirk, as he avoided her eyes.

“Oh.” She hated that her cheeks turned red, she focused on her duvet, to avoid the mental images in her head.

The two layed on their side, looking at one another, not sure what to say or do.

Then she took his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb across his knuckles, feeling the scarred tissue, and the roughness, a show of hard work.

"I can't believe I'm laying in bed, with the future queen of Naboo." Anakin joked, breaking the silence, and causing a chuckle from her.

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes, with a small smile.

"You will make an amazing queen." He told her, with seriousness, now. "You don't have to make it the way things are now, you could make a difference, make things the way you want them to be, and fix Naboo, change all the bad that there is, here, there's so much you could do, and I know that it's you, who could and will do it, help the people, be the queen that this country needs."

"I don't think I would be very good." She shook her head. “The kingdom loves my mother and father, I would never reach their expectations.”

Anakin scooted closer towards her in the bed, he used his other hand to lift her chin, so that she would look at him, then moved to hold her cheek, swiping his thumb at the soft skin.

"Yes you will, Vis, you're the best option this place needs, I know you will do great, you're amazing, and I believe in you. You're a good person."

Her eyes softened, as she looked at him.

"But, I don't want to give you up, Ani, I don't think anyone could ever make me feel the way you do, I won't settle down with anyone." She shook her head in protest.

He kissed her, cutting off her next sentence before she could say it.

"Then don't." He said. "Don't end this, with me. We can be together, okay, no one has to find out, you don't need to marry, you don't need to marry anyone else, your sisters getting married, she'll most likely start a family with the senator, so the throne can just go back to them, after your reign, it'll be perfect."

Lovisa had no faith in his plan, she knew that was not realistic, and her father would never have that, it just wasn't the way things were, but to let herself be happy for just one more night, to enjoy his company, she nodded and smiled.

"Okay." She said, causing his own smile to grow wider, and he kissed her, again, with so much passion, that it broke her heart, just a little, she then pulled away. "Stay with me, for the night, please?"

"Of course, M'lady." He kissed her forehead, his hand in her hair.

She looked at his eyes, as they sparkled, as if he held the stars in them.

“You can undress, if you wish to, I promise I won’t look.”

“I don’t mind if you do.” He winked at her, playfully, as he did what she said, sitting up to pull his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor by her bed.

“C’mere.” He laid back down, opening his arms for her.

Lovisa scooted even closer to him, wanting to be wrapped up in his warmth, Anakin hugged her tightly, his face buried in her hair, as they eventually fell asleep.

Next

[turtlecleric]

@oozedninjas hope you feel better soon <3 have some bay!Donnie comforting you

(@yorshie - tag list)

---

When you make it to Donnie's room, you find him hunched over something at his desk and muttering to himself. He perks up immediately at the sight of you, an excited smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, and it's so fucking cute that it sort of makes you want to cry.

Oh, hang on. Fuck. You might actually cry.

As he takes in your pathetic attempts to keep a straight face and the hand resting over your stomach, his pleased expression shifts to worry before settling on a sympathetic, knowing look.

"Shark week?"

You nod miserably. "Shark week."

He's up and heading toward you immediately, the bits of tech on his desk left abandoned. He gets within arms reach and pauses, hands hovering in the air between the two of you.

"Is touch okay right now?"

Instead of responding, you step forward, resting your forehead against his plastron. Donnie's arms gently wrap around you, and you feel him lean forward to press a kiss into your hair. A few moments pass in the safety of his arms, and then he places his hands on your shoulders and gently pushes you back.

"Let's get you set up. Okay?"

You sigh and nod. Words are too... something right now.

"Have you taken medicine yet?

You shake your head.

"Eaten?"

You nod.

He makes an approving noise and leads you to the bed. It reminds you of a nest, to be honest, with the excessive number of pillows and blankets there. As you crawl in, you think back to the circular, wall-mounted bed he used to have before you two got together. Before he traded it out for something bigger and more comfortable. Before he knew what it felt like to even be well rested.

Stop.

The lights dim, and suddenly he's kissing your temple.

"Be right back, Dove."

You hum in response, trying to ignore the sharp pain in your stomach and the tangle of emotions in your chest. You feel like complete and absolute shit in every way possible, and you're so goddamn tired of feeling like you're going to cry that it makes you want to... cry.

Fuck.

Donnie is back in no time at all, handing you two pills and a bottle of water. You down them gratefully, and then he trades you the water bottle for your heating pad. The one he specifically made for you.

No. Not crying. Not. Crying.

You manage to situate the heating pad and press your preferred settings into the remote control. Donnie waits for you to place a pillow between your legs and clutch another to your chest before fussing over the blankets and tucking you in. A hand brushes lightly through your hair.

"Music?"

You manage a nod, and soon one of your playlists is weaving through the air.

"Cuddles or alone time?"

You take a slow, deep breath. "Cuddles."

Another kiss is pressed to your temple before he leaves your view. The bed dips and he starts to settle in behind you, and you can tell that he's trying not to jostle you too much as he moves. His hand finds your hair again, his soothing, light brushes slowly helping you relax.

You still feel terrible, and the medicine hasn't kicked in yet, but. It's already so much better than it was.

You let out a long, contented sigh. "Thank you," you murmur.

Another kiss is pressed onto your temple, and then you feel the vibrations of Donnie's voice against your back.

"Of course, Dove." His face nuzzles softly into your neck, making you smile. "Love you."

You're glad that there's only a slight waver to your voice when you reply.

"Love you too, Donnie."

[whinlatter]

think (harry/ginny) | a microfic

day 13 of @hinnymicrofic | prompt: think

He showers quick, tries to scrub the train off him. Snorts at the sight of Vernon’s large bottle of hair-thickening shampoo. Having stared at his uncle’s head all the way back from London, he reckons Vernon’s due a refund.

There's some lurid deodorant of Dudley's - hair gel, too, looks cheap and shit. He feels a stab of pity for whichever poor girl his cousin’s trying to scrub up for these days. Dudley trying to pull, he thinks with a laugh, Christ. But thoughts of pulling lead to thoughts of girls, which lead, inevitably, to thoughts of Ginny.

He shoves the hair gel back on the shelf. Adds Dudley pulling to the don’t think about it list he’d started making on the train, somewhere around the Cumbrian border, when Ron had offered him a Caramel Kappa, Ginny’s favourite, and he’d wanted to throw up all over the chess board.

The Dursleys had waited all of two seconds after he’d slammed the car boot shut before speeding off to dinner at some miserable gastropub off the M3. Suits him fine, wants to be alone. He stabs a fork through the plastic film of his ready-meal, makes sure to puncture the yellow reduced sticker Petunia's left on for his benefit, and watches the bright white of the mashed potato atop the shepherd’s pie whirling around in the microwave. 

You know, it’s made from real shepherd, he’d said to Ginny once. That’s such a dad joke, she’d said, and he’d said I wouldn’t know and she’d said Potter you get one dead dad joke a day and you already used today’s up at breakfast. Shepherd’s pie is on the don’t think about it list, then, he thinks, just before he burns his fingers sliding the ready meal onto a tray. Probably best add cottage pie, too, same idea. Maybe all savoury pies, play it safe.

He flops down on the sofa, feet up on the coffee table, eats straight from the hot plastic as he flicks through channels. The nine o'clock news is all budget this, Hong Kong that, Tim Henman out at Wimbledon. The nine o’clock news is not Dumbledore's dead, Snape murdered him, there’s a war on, Harry Potter's dropped out of school to go hunt bits of Voldemort's dismembered soul. 

Dropped out of school, he thinks. Scandalous, delinquent. What d'you reckon? he asks the Ginny in his head. Harry Potter, troubled dropout? Do anything for you? The Ginny in his head laughs. It’d be fun if she were here, he thinks, curled up next to him on this ugly sofa, taking the piss out of Petunia’s cushion covers and Dudley’s wrestling trophies. Imagines taking her up to his bedroom, pointing out the lamp Dobby whacked himself around the head with. But then the Ginny in his head looks at him and says I never really gave up on you and I knew this would happen in the end, and it all bursts, shatters into a hundred dusty pieces.

He chucks the rest of the meal in the bin, adds dropping out of school to the stupid list. Might as well add the budget, Hong Kong and Tim Henman, why not.

Turns off the telly, goes upstairs and lies on his bed, fully-clothed, staring up at the ceiling, because on the walk from the living room to his bedroom the list has expanded to include his trunk (train, Hogwarts, Ginny), his jumper (still smells a bit like her on the left arm, pathetic), and Hedwig (how does it feel knowing your owl prefers me, Potter?).

He stares out of the window for a while, eyes next door's new extension, which sort of works - ugly nothing suburbia - until he remembers the twins and Ron at the window in a flying Ford Anglia, zooming him off to the Burrow where a little red headed girl is blushing and sticking her elbow in the butter dish and god, this really is shit, isn't it, they weren't lying. She knew then, of course she did. He's never been good at thinking of nothing, has he, and he's thought about her as he falls asleep every day since about October, so what chance does he have now?

He's dreading the dreams the most, knows they'll be unbearable. Almost hopes he dreams of lockets and green light and dead headmasters. Can't be worse than bright brown eyes, freckles on a bottom lip (how do you even get freckles on your bottom lip, Gin? Don't be jealous of my freckles, Potter, just because your skin's so boring), the smell of her hair (what do you mean my hair smells? What is that supposed to mean? Why are you laughing?) and the sound of her laugh and her gasps and the sound of her breathing, soft, lying beside him under the cloak on the lakeshore. Looking down under the table at dinner, seeing her thigh next to his on the bench, hand on his knee, body drawn to his, magnets, magic.

When he wakes groggily the next day - crick in his neck, still in his jeans - his first thought is: he's overslept. He’s missed Ginny on her way down to breakfast, going to be late for Potions, fucked it.

But no, of course not. There’s no Ginny, no breakfast, no Potions. Might still have fucked it, though, who's to say. Don't, he tells himself, as he heads for the bathroom to scrub the night off him, just don't think about it.

now up on AO3 here | ask me anything

[fallingdownhell]

Hello! Nice to meet you!

May I request a quiet and sweet reader getting furious at and punching someone for dissing Noe and Vanitas?

Nice to meet you too, kind anon <3

Thank you so much for requesting something for Vanitas no carte. I never really got around to write for it until now, even though the anime became so much of a comfort show for me. So thank you for finally giving me the opportunity! I really appreciate it!

Word count: 1,6k

Content ahead: I tried making it with a gender neutral reader in mind; little bit of cursing; a bit of physical violence but nothing too excessive; can be read as either platonic or romantic

As always, hope you have fun reading!

Vanitas

I like to imagine that Vanitas thrives with someone who is more reserved and quiet than him

He talks a lot and he likes to hear himself talk, but more than anything, he enjoys the way your eyes sparkle whenever he tells a story or how you intently listen to anything he says

his heart warms up at the sight and he tries to think of even more storys and tales to tell you, just so you would look at him like that again

your quiet and shy nature aside, he also adores the way you care about others

Vanitas is a man that always portrais himself as independent, someone who does not care for others. Yet he deeply appreciates the way that you are the exact opposite, always looking out for others

sometimes though it's a bit unbareable for him when you start to neglect your own needs or your own comfort. Then, he just has to remind you again that you matter as well and that you are allowed to prioritize yourself from time to time

he really thought that he knew everything about you. A sweet little human that could not even hurt a fly.

Well, but as they always say... you can always learn something new every single day..

Since Vanitas has returned from a rather long and taxing mission, he decided to take things a little bit slower. After not seeing you for a while, he thought it would be refreshing to seek you out and spend some time with you again.

So he did just that, finding you in the comfort of your own home, disturbing your peace and quite to invite you out. He took you to a small café he saw on his way here.

On your way there and while you were sitting at one of the many tables he told you all about the stuff that happened on this little journey of his. Your eyes were fixed on his lips and you soak up every word that leaves his mouth.

"That sounds so amazing!", you sigh once he was finished with his tale. "I wish you would take me with you the next time. I really want to accompany you and see all this stuff for myself."

Before the black haired man beside you could respond, a man that was sitting at the table next to yours started laughing.

"Excuse you? Do you have something to say?" Upon hearing your tone of voice, Vanitas froze up next to you. He had never heard you speak in such a cold and dangerous tone until now. His entire being told him to be careful and if necessary, run away from this situation. All that and it wasn't even directed at him.

Yet that man didn't seem to care for it or he just flat out ignored it, because he just kept going. "Oh come on, you can't seriously fall for all that. Everything that boy said is obviously a farce. A scam! And you are falling for every little bit of it."

He started laughing again, not noticing how you got up from your table and positioned yourself right next to him. Vanitas was about to speak up, but you beat him to it.

Faster than he thought you capable of, you leaned down and grabbed that man by the collar, effectivly shutting him up and making him look at you. As he saw the ice cold expression on your face, fear started to slowly creep up inside him.

"The only farce I see around here, is you, you pathetic old scum. Sitting here alone, laughing about other people because your own life is just too miserable for you to bear. I bet you have no one to come home to because no one can stand that condesending tone and personality of yours.

You better shut up about other people and how they choose to spend their lives when your own is nothing special to begin with either.

Now, I suggest you get out of my sight before I completely loose my temper with you and trust me, you do not want to see me any more angry than I already am."

Once you let go of his collar, the man quickly stood up from his table, stumbling a few times on his way out, while you slid back into your seat like nothing had happened.

All the while, your companion watched the spectacle go down and he was surprised, to say the least. He would have never expected an outburst like this from your ususal sweet and caring person. But that just made it all the more better.

"Wow.. I have to admit, I was not expecting something like that from you. But it was definitely entertaining.", he laughed.

"Ugh, please shut up. That was so embarassing."

"Embarassing?", Vanitas laughed as he saw your pained expression. "You just verbally berated that man like you do this for a living and now, after you're done with him, you feel embarassed? Oh, this is gold!" He laughed even more as your expression turned even more.

"Can we please change the subject now? You had your fun, let me off the hook already!", you whined, not wanting to be the centre of attention anymore.

"Okay, okay, fine. So, have I told you about..."

And so, you continued your afternoon like nothing had happened. But Vanitas for sure was never letting you live this down, ever.

Noé

One sweet person combined with another one? Get ready for cuteness overload!

Literally, both you and Noé are so considerate people, always thinking about the well being and the comfort of the other person first before thinking about themselves

it became sort of a habit that you two took care of each other more than you would for yourselves

Noé always asking you if you drank any water today and reminding you to do so, while you ask him how much he has slept and scolding him for messing up his sleep cycle yet again

outside people who don't know either of you would think that you two are brother and sister with the way you were behaving around the other

it didn't bother either of you though. you didn't need an exact label on your relationship as long as you were both happy and comfortable, that's all that counts

although you have seen how Noé behaves when his more... animalistic side comes out, you don't think any less of him for that. He can't really control it all the time and he already tries his best, that's all you can ask of him

he however, has never seen you act out or anything of the sort. And quite frankly, he didn't believe that you had it in you to do so, either

You were enjoying a late night walk with Noé by your side, as you two so often did. The atmosphere was quite different at night and you got to enjoy much more of the city's charme with less people around, so it became a somewhat regular occurence for the two of you.

Often times Noé just showed up unannounced on your doorstep, asking you if you would care to join him for a walk. You had yet to ever turn him down on that offer.

You weren't exactly scared for your safetly either, knowing that the man you were with was more than capable of protecting both you and himself.

Enjoying the cool nightly breeze, you leisurely walked down the path togheter, talking about nothing specific, yet the conversation never died down. It was just so easy to talk to him, like you had known him your entire life.

It was such a calm and relaxing atmosphere, you knew that it sadly could not last forever. And the peace was indeed disturbed as a obviously drunk man came stumbling out of one of the many alleyways onto the main road.

"Be careful, (name).", Noé said in a hushed manner. And although you both made some space for the man so you could walk past him undisturbed, he stumbled so much that he still somehow managed to bump into the white haired man beside you.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!", he slurred, yelling at Noé who kept his composure.

"I apologize", he responded, trying to keep the situation under controll and getting out of it as soon as possible. Yet that man seemed to have different plans.

"I don't care for your apology. You ran into me! How dare you do that!" The man got even louder than before, now starting to shove Noé away from him.

Before any of the two could do anything farther than that, your fist swiftly landed in the mans face, effectively knocking him out on the side of the walkway.

"Don't you dare touch Noé like that!", you said, but the man was already passed out and probably didn't hear you anymore.

Pleased with your action, you turned around to see Noé looking at you like he has just seen a ghost.

"What?", you looked at him, not getting what got him so spooked all of a sudden.

"You.. just... what?"

"I didn't like the way he was treating you. Besides, he is so drunk anyway. He probably won't remember a thing tomorrow."

With that, you just continued walking like you didn't just knock a man out just like that. Noé didn't say anything about that incident, but he now always made sure to never get on your bad side.

[emeraldelysian]

Song Mingi ✧ Lipstick Love

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Pairing: Song Mingi x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Friends to Lovers

Synopsis: You were just stood up on a date. A date that you only decided to go on to avoid the feelings you had for your best friend. What happens when that same friend and you decide to discuss your feelings for the first time?

Wordcount: 3.2K+

Warnings: Reader Has Fem. Anatomy, Possessive!Mingi, Car Sex, Slight Orgasm Denial, Oral (F.Receiving), Overstimulation, Marking Kink, Slight Exhibitionism

Note: Writer's block is difficult because I swear, the only time you have motivation is at 2 in the morning. And somehow this became more vulgar than my Lee Know fic. But please, give this love and I hope you all enjoy it!!

♡︎ follow, provide feedback, or reblog if you enjoyed but please don't repost or translate!♡︎

MDNI, 18+ CONTENT

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You tilt your head to the sky as you watch the raindrops fall outside the restaurant. They were light at first, individually identifiable before becoming heavier and heavier. You suppose this is karma for signing up for an online dating site and expecting it to work.

Typically, you wouldn't resort to going on dates with strangers. But in a pathetic attempt to make your feelings for someone disappear, you thought why not? It wouldn't hurt. It shouldn't hurt.

That was, if it had worked. If the guy you talked to actually decided to show up. Instead, you found yourself dressed up for an empty chair for about an hour and a half. You'd have to admit the empty chair had been the most respectful company of the evening, nonetheless, considering everyone else in the establishment had given pitiful side glances to you sitting alone.

But now, you're sitting on a bench in the rain all because of a crush on your best friend.

How meaningless it is, in some ways, to have a crush on someone unattainable. Someone that you knew had your back through thick and thin but didn't see you the way you wanted to. Someone that you would give all the money in the world for to look at you in the same endearing way as in the movies but knew that no monetary value could give. And now, you were waiting for that same someone to pick you up from the miserable sob story that you had caught yourself in.

You close your eyes as you let the drops fall onto your face, forming trickles down your face. They ran cold, much different from the warm tears you hopelessly attempted to swallow back.

"You know, you're supposed to put your hood up to stay dry, not spread it out like a rain catcher," scolds a deep but lighthearted voice from beside you. You turn to your left to see the source of all your confusing thoughts, Song Mingi.

You stand up from the bench, planning to apologize for calling him so late and having him pick you up. But before you could mutter a word, he walks towards you, reaching a hand on either side of your face. He pulls up the hood of your jacket, tucking your hair in on both sides. His hands are warm. Not the kind of warm from tears, no. But a warm that felt safe, shielding you from the cold rain.

Your eyes meet and he pauses, his hands still on either side of your face. The street and restaurant seem to fade away as his gold-flecked eyes held yours. You wanted this moment to last forever, bathing in the depths of his eyes.

But then, his hands drop. You could have sworn there was reluctance as he did so. He looks both ways; no one is in sight but you both can hear vague chatter in the distance coming from the restaurant you left behind.

"Come on," he says before beginning to walk in the other direction, away from the restaurant and towards his car. Feeling no presence behind him, he turns back to where you stand, your feet uncertain. He holds up his right hand, his pinky finger curved up while his others were tucked in. You look at his hand, unsure until he glances down to your left hand and then back at your eyes. You hold up your hand and he hooks your little finger with him, giving it a tug before turning and walking to his car, pulling you along.

You mistakenly take his off-put behavior as his annoyance for having to pick you up; however, it was just the opposite. He was exceptionally worried about you, and admittedly a bit jealous. You chose to go on a date with a stranger when he was right there, willing and ready to hold you for eternity? He's always felt like his feelings for you were obvious. At least, obvious enough that Yunho had given an entire 45-minute motivational pep talk about how he should just go for it and ask you out.

It's not that he didn't want to, but there was a fear lingering in his mind. He didn't want to ruin what the two of you had just because his feelings got in the way. Instead, he chose to sacrifice his own romantic feelings for you to try and stay content with just being friends.

You both sit in the car and he starts the engine, intending to drop you off at your house. After a minute or two of silence, Mingi speaks up.

"So, how bad was it?" He asks, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Why do you think it went bad?" You scoff, looking out the window to your right.

"Because I know you. You haven't said a word since I got there to pick you up." He stops at a red light and stole a glance at you. His heart dropped seeing a tear roll down your cheek.

"It's fine, really. I don't know why I expected differently." You tried to wipe the tears that were now falling down your face in some hopeless attempt to make yourself believe it was fine.

He bit the inside of his lip and looked back at the road, trying to think of what he could possibly say to comfort you. "Hey, hey, don't cry. Did he do something? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No, actually," you shook your head and gave a pathetic laugh at your predicament, "he didn't show up."

He paused once you said that. Out of all the circumstances that could have happened, he didn't expect that one. The guy stood you up?

"And also, I'm sorry about having you pick me up," you whisper.

"Don't apologize for it. You could call me at three in the morning if you wanted and I'd be up, ready, and driving over to you in ten minutes." And he meant every word.

You couldn't help but feel anger bubbling up inside of you. Why was he so kind to you? Why couldn't he just hate you? Why couldn't he just have one flaw that you could latch onto as an excuse to stop loving him?

"Please don't do that, Mingi." Because you don't love me like that.

"Do what?"

"Stop being so nice to me." Because I need a reason to stop liking you so much.

"What are you talking about-?"

"Please. I need you to hate me." Please, I want you to love me so bad.

"I am not going to do that."

"Why not?" If you don't love me, I need to hear it.

"..."

"Why not, Mingi? It would be so much easier for you and you wouldn't have to worry so much-"

"Because I love you!" Mingi raises the tone of his voice slightly, deafening your demands as you look at him in shock. A few moments of silence pass before he speaks up again.

"I can't bring myself to ever hate you if your smile literally brightens up my day. I can't bring myself to hate you if you screaming songs in the car with me makes me feel like I'm not the only one going insane sometimes. I can't bring myself to hate you if I love that you trust me enough to pick you up on a stupid date with some stupid guy instead of taking a taxi or the bus. I can't bring myself to hate you when you look ethereal no matter the moment. I can't bring myself to hate you because I love you. God, (Y/N) I love you. So please, please never ask me to do that again because I can't bear it. I can't bear the thought of hating you when every thought in my head is tainted by a thought of you." Only then did he realize the tears streaming down his face. He had bottled it up for so long, too long.

"Pull over, Mingi." You say softly, in awe of what you just heard.

"What?" He holds his breath at your request. You hate him, don't you? Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Mingi, I need you to pull over. You can't drive safely with those pretty eyes being blurred, okay?" He takes a deep breath and nods, parking beside the curb.

"I'm sorry for saying that. I don't know what came over me." Mingi scolds himself internally as he looks at your face for any reaction. You gaze into his eyes, before giving him a small smile.

"I love you too, dummy."

"But, but you said-?"

You cut him off by placing both hands on his cheek, just as he had done with you earlier in the rain. "Because I have been battling my feelings for you for so long. I've tried every way I could think of to get rid of my feelings for you, and after a failed date, you hating me was my last resort. I never stopped loving you, though."

For years, you both had those three words on your mind, never finding the right moment to say them to each other. One could argue that now wouldn't have been the right moment either, but better late than never.

Mingi leans in first with you meeting him halfway. You let out a strangled moan when his tongue snakes into your mouth and curls around yours, teasing you until you shuddered and pulled away for air.

One minute, you were still in your seat; the next, you two were climbing into the back seat. You let out a small laugh as you watched Mingi's tall figure somehow topple his way over to where you were now sitting. It took the pressure off in some way, not having to be so perfect at it while being enveloped in the safety of someone you knew, trusted, and loved.

His lips connect with yours once again. The kiss is slow and sweet, synchronizing your lips with his perfectly. You nip at his bottom lip until he opens his mouth with a groan. His fingers find their way around your neck in a firm but painless maneuver, gathering you close enough to pull you onto his lap. He pulls away from you, gazing into your eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this, bunny?" Mingi asks, waiting for confirmation; you nod, engulfed in the feeling of his hands on your thighs. "Okay, but if you want to stop at any point, just let me know. I won't be mad."

He is deceptively well-built under outfit, a delightful discovery for you. He unzips your dress and takes it off you as well, leaving you in matching bra and underwear. He cocks his eyebrow and looks at you as if to say 'since when did you have these?' You shrug, muttering a small, "it doesn't hurt to be prepared."

He lets out a small chuckle. His hands roam up your thighs, tracing along your skin as they got closer and closer to your heat. "Has anyone touched you before, bunny?"

You tried to ignore the memories of lazy hands shoving between your thighs in a previous relationship you had where it felt like you were some kind of charity project. "I mean, I've done it once but it was sort of one way? It just... I didn't feel great about it."

He lets out a small tsk in disappointment. "Can I show you how it should feel then?"

It isn't arrogant, the way he asked her. It's thoughtful. Earnest. But in some ways, you're still afraid. What if he doesn't enjoy himself? “You don’t have to do that.”

He caught your train of thought, quickly reassuring. “If you think eating you out would be a problem for me, I assure you, you’re wrong. If anything, I would beg to have my lips on you.”

You don't know whether it was a random spurt of confidence or your mouth saying words faster than your mind can process them but all you let out is, "Then beg."

He cocked an eyebrow at the sudden demand. His shock didn't come from you saying it, however; instead, he was surprised by how hot he found you in control. It wasn't something he expected from you, but he could grow accustomed to letting you have control once in a while.

You on the other hand were desperately trying to hide how much of a flustered mess you were because of your words. That is until he spoke up once more.

"Please, bunny, let me run my tongue all over you. I've wanted to have a taste of you for the longest time and seeing you in this cute lingerie," he looked down at your bra, tracing a finger over your nipple, "I don't know if I can control myself any longer."

You let out a small, needy moan at the vulgarity of his words and touch. You nod at his request, immediately finding yourself rolling your body on his lap. You grind on him as you feel yourself getting wetter. He catches up with your movements, resting his palms on your waist. He guides you as you grind on him shamelessly, finding him hard between her thighs. He watches as you get closer and closer to your breaking point before stopping your movement, ending your build-up.

"Not yet, bunny. I didn't even touch you yet." He gently shifts you both to where you're lying in the backseat with him hovering over you. "When we're not in my car, I'll show you how to ride my face but for now, I'll have to resort to the old-fashioned way."

His fingers are gentle against your skin as you arch your back, to help him unclip your bra. He mumbles a string of small curses in appreciation of you; here he was thinking you couldn't be more beautiful than you already were. But, just seeing you below him, looking not self-conscious but bold and safe, it's priceless.

His palms ghost your chest as you and he places kisses down your sternum. He moves to play with one of your nipples with his tongue while his hands provided attention to the other. He switches after a few moments, not getting enough of you.

He moves his lips down towards your waist. He looks at you once again, asking for a nod of approval before swiftly taking them off of you. He moves to go on top of you but before he can continue, you pull at his waistband and pout; he rolls his eyes at your cute gesture, before removing his own pants and underwear as well. You watch as his girth springs up. It's then pressing insistently against your stomach once he leans back over you.

He moves one hand down to your heat, cupping it gently as he slides one finger through your folds. "Now, I'm just going to touch you like this. Are you doing okay so far, bunny?"

You nod, blinking rapidly as the tip of his finger brushes against your clit. It makes you shiver, his care for you mixed with his touch. He pulls his finger away, bringing it into his mouth. He sucks off the taste on you and hums in satisfaction. You feel yourself clench desperately at the sight, a whimper flying from your lips.

"You taste so good, bunny. And this is all for me, right?" he asks.

Another whimper escapes from you. "All yours. N'body else's."

"That's good, bunny. I'm gonna make you feel so good, I promise." He wastes no time moving his head down and begins weaving his tongue between your folds. He switches between giving long licks and quick, flickering ones. He then plays with your clit using his tongue while inserting two fingers in.

"Oh fuck, Mingi baby please," you inhale sharply at the feeling of his tongue and fingers. It was the complete opposite of what you had experienced with others, instead feeling heavenly. Your hips move in sync with his movements as you grab his hair. He adds a third finger in, looking up at you as he lightly sucks on your clit. Your breathing is jagged now, as you hear your own wetness from his fingers curling and thrusting inside you.

Before you knew it, you fell apart, letting go of his hair as you covered your mouth. Your legs shook from the sudden wave of ecstasy overflowing you. You let out a string of curses and moans when you feel no stopping from Mingi. Only his fingers move away to make room for his tongue inside you, lapping until you pulled through your wave and found yourself being overstimulated.

Your head falls back from how good his tongue feels in the aftermath, feeling your orgasm build up quickly once again until you can't hold yourself anymore. You sob out a string of "don't stop, don't stop, oh, god, don't stop" as you feel a second orgasm wash over you.

At this point, you're simply trembling under his touch, words meshed into slurred speech as you grind against his tongue hard throughout. It felt like you couldn't get enough of him. You needed his tongue, the warmth of it, the way he perfectly timed his pacing. It was like a drug and you needed more. But, instead, he pulls away, licking off the remaining juices of you from his fingers.

"God, you look so cute when you cum. Your eyes flutter shut and you bite your lip and just- fuck, bunny. You did so well for me, cumming on my face like that. How do you feel?"

"That..." you take a moment to catch your breath, "that was amazing. We have to do that again sometime. I mean, if that's okay with you?"

He chuckled lightly at how adorable you were being. Such a contrast from the vulgar presentation you were putting on just moments before.

"Of course, I don't mind, bunny. I had just as much fun, if not more than you did. I could have gone for hours but," he pointed to the dashboard, "I don't want to start overstimulating you in a car. As much as I'd love to see if we get caught by other people, your moans are too pretty for anyone's ears but my own."

He rubs your stomach and then pauses, staring at it for a moment before looking back at you. He hums, tracing his finger on your body with his finger in a similar fashion as before. "Do you have any lipstick on you, bunny?"

You nod, pointing at your purse in confusion. He quickly searches through it and pulls out a dark pink lipstick- the same one that was now messily decorated on your lips.

He opens the cap, before, placing the lipstick on right above your waist, tracing the pattern for the third time. It only takes him a minute before he's done, putting the lipstick back into its original home. He smiles at his work, a neat Mingi's written in pink with a heart at the end.

"There. Now you'll never forget who you belong to, bunny."

[sugarcloudsky]

Hi! Welcome to the cookie run x reader community! Here you'll find so many amazing fics, writers, and anons like myself! I am personally a big fan of cookie run x reader stuff and I saw you and thought I'd give you a request and see what your writing is like!

I noticed how you prefer writing for male characters and lucky for you...my top two favs are males lol! (Clotted cream and affogato!)

So I was thinking....may I request am affogato x a shy, sweet reader? Like the reader is an absolute bean?

Again, welcome and I hope you like the people and anon and other writers here!

「The Sweetest Medicine」

character: affogato cookie

wc: 1.1k

cws: none

first request done, i really hope you like it!! thank you for the kind welcome, i appreciate it >_< this rlly came out longer than i expected,,

Early morning hours were always a thing Affogato Cookie quite disliked. The bleary gray sky served to always dampen his mood, and he sometimes found himself longing for the day the Dark Cacao kingdom may just one day see a sunny morning. He sighs, running a hand through his hair. He was too tired to deal with that miserable excuse of a king today. For once, he just wanted to lay in bed all day. Oh, to be able to have an entire day to himself, being able to sit alone and eat all the sweet confectioneries he could ever want—

A knock at his door interrupted his fantasies.

“…Sir Affogato Cookie? Are you awake?”

Normally, he wouldn’t have sprung up from his soft mattress so quickly, but perhaps this case was a bit special. He quickly straightened his hair before replying in the same sugary voice the cookies of the kingdom was so used to hearing, “I’ll be right out.”

After a few moments of changing out of his sleep attire and fixing himself up, he slides open the door to his chambers. There, he meets you waiting for him. He carefully scans your figure, taking in your nervous body language. He watches as you entirely avoid eye contact with him, as well as noting that you are obviously hiding something behind your back with your two hands.

“My, my, quite the lovely sight, even in these early morning hours. What brings you to my chambers so early, hm?”

His compliment caught you entirely off guard, causing your face to burn and the speech you had planned in your head to completely dissipate. You try to speak, but the words are caught in your throat. The only thing that comes out is a quite frankly pathetic mess of words.

“I— You— F— Ah,” You stumble over your words, and your face burns even brighter when you hear him chuckle. Panic quickly enters you, is he already laughing at you?! Oh crumbs, this really was a bad idea. You pull one of your arms out from behind you, subconsciously try to hide your face in your hand in an attempt to calm yourself.

“Sorry, I—”

“Why don’t you come in, hm?”

“Huh?!”

You bite your lip in embarrassment at your loud exclamation. Other cookies who were roaming the halls of the citadel all turned to you, and at that moment you might as well have just melted into a puddle. Affogato chuckled again as he gently peels your hand away from your face. His hands cup your own as he softly pulls you into his bedchamber. You aren’t able to get a word in before you're standing in the middle of his room.

“What is it you wanted to tell me? You don’t have to worry about anyone else being around.”

You do not reply. You are frozen in place, unmoving. This isn't how you planned for this to go. All you wanted to do was give him what you made for him, and leave. That’s it. You didn’t expect to be standing in the middle of his bedroom alone with him. This is the worst possible outcome, you thought. How did it turn out this way?

He observes you closely, almost being able to hear the gears turning inside your head. He quietly sits on the edge of his bed, his eyes not leaving your stiff form. He clears his throat as a means to get your attention, and you jolt. Affogato pats the space on his bed beside him, beckoning you to sit next to him, and you hesitate.

“S—Sir, I really don’t think this is appropriate. I shouldn’t be in here so casually with you…” you fluster.

“Why so worried, hm? It’s just us in here. You can sit next to me as much as you like.” He deflects, still patting the space next to him.

Attempting to swallow your nervousness, you sit. Immediately, you’re hit with the mixed scent of coffee and ice cream. The bitterness of the coffee with the sweetness of the ice cream left your head spinning and cheeks burning once again. Oh crumbs, he smells really nice— no! That’s creepy! Just give him what you wanted to give him and go!

After what felt like forever, you pulled out what you had hiding behind your back onto your lap. It was a neatly wrapped box with a cute little ribbon on top. Affogato’s curiosity peaks as he asks you what’s in the box.

“It’s— um, I made you.. I made you a cake… because I heard you talking about how you… you liked sweets…” Your voice grew softer as your sentence continued, your figure shrinking on the spot.

For a moment, there’s only silence.

Then, he laughs.

“My, my,” he says, attempting to suppress his giddiness, “For me? How charming. You’ve come to me this early in the morning just to give me this?”

You nod. You’re so flustered and embarrassed at this point, you thought you were going to explode at any moment now. He gingerly takes the box from your grasp, untying the ribbon and opening the lid. Inside was a small chocolate colored cake with light fluffy icing, along with a cute little spoon. His eyes widened at the sight. The aroma was divine and the cake looked delicious.

He smiles as he turns to gaze at you, eyes holding pure adoration for you. He watches as you fiddle with your fingers nervously, your eyes glued to the floor in front of you.

“Thank you.” he sighs. His tone is so different from what you’re used to hearing. It was so genuine and kind in comparison to the faux sweetness he held with any other cookie in the kingdom. “I appreciate it, truly.”

“It’s— It’s nothing!” you nervously laugh, still refusing to face him. Despite your embarrassment, you’re glad he likes your gift. Sure, a cake so early in the morning might be a bit odd to some, but he likes it, so that’s all you really care about. You spent almost the entire night in the kitchens of the citadel, perfecting your recipe to make sure it was well suited for Affogato Cookie, Dark Cacao Cookie’s right hand.

“Such a thoughtful gift from a lovely cookie deserves a reward, does it not?” he hums in an unrecognizable tone, causing you to look up at him quizzically.

Your sputter, eyes widening.

He smiles angelically, motioning a spoonful of the cake towards you. If it was even possible, your face darkened even more. But you could’ve sworn his own cheeks held a light red tint as well.

“Say ‘ah’.”

[luneariaa]

ღ || tornare insieme.

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : claudio serafino x fem! reader.

✰ 𝐰. 𝐜. : 2k+ ( i got carried away )

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : since the breakup, his mind has been so restless. on one night, he unexpectedly bumps into you within the park.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : not much proofread, claudio seemed a lil miserable here though ( only at the beginning parts ) and might be ooc.

✰ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 : brainrotting over him still ngl like 💙 -- and idk what i wrote for the most part :")

. dividers by @/saradika-graphics !! 🏹

It’s been days since the whole break up thing happened. Have weeks passed, even? He didn’t really give you any proper reasons to do so, and it feels so abrupt. He could see through your reluctant actions– truly a tough decision to do. It’s not like you got any other choices at that moment.

The Italian exorcist remembers that day all too well; your mere expression showing a visible pained look, both physically and mentally. You didn’t even have the time to process everything, simply just doing what you were told.

Are you not good enough for him?

But during all those times when he’s not together with you anymore, he feels restless. He feels lost, he doesn’t know what to do. Claudio knew he had to do that eventually. The immense feeling of regret begins to resurface within him, now wishing he could take those words back as he was trying to take a break in his private study room. 

It’s been a tiring day as per usual for him today, and he wishes for nothing more than your sole comfort alone– even when it’s not possible after what happened. His duties may be done for the day, but his heart feels as if something is still lacking. He misses you. 

You were the light of his life, and he just messes those up further. Claudio even wondered if you still thought of him, as he did with you.

With a frustrated sounding sigh, he brings one of his hands up to rub his forehead to at least alleviate some of his current stress pain. He misses you dearly– plain and simple. He knew he fucked up, and it’s not really by his own favor. 

Claudio genuinely thought that his line of work is quite dangerous for someone like you, especially since you were too involved with him. He has forgotten on how you actually accepted his whole job and lifestyle as the exorcist leader for the Archers of Sirius– highly aware of the tasks that he has to do often, having no complaints. You accepted him for how he truly is.

It’s reassuring, to say the least. But also concerning, since he doesn’t want any potential danger to harm you while you’re not in his sight. Which as a result, he had to push you away, to prevent any of those from happening.

But now, the pain he feels is too much to bear. He needs you back. He wanted to make things right again; he doesn’t care at this point. You mean so much to him, and forever it will stay that way.

It’s quite late at night, as most people by that hour can be assumed to be already asleep, or merely just resting within their own private sanctuary. Claudio left the building not too long ago, wanting to clear his mind before making any proper decisions. No feeling of anxiousness, or even fear creeping up within him, as he had faced even scarier things during his time as an exorcist. But God, he feels pathetic and miserable for wandering around almost aimlessly in the middle of the night.

The lone moon shines overhead; simply looking beautiful as ever, and filled the atmosphere with such serenity, yet it’s just not enough for his preoccupied mind, filled with the mere thoughts of you.

Instead of letting his negative thoughts completely take over, his slate blue eyes wandered over the view of some parts of the city that’s being displayed. The sight alone never fails to amaze him.

But as he still tries to get a grasp of his surroundings, a familiar figure came into his line of vision; noticing how the said person even halted on their tracks so quickly. The expression of disbelief is present, but he wouldn’t even want to blame it on them for that matter.

Has fate decided to play around with them?

Of course, you’ve recognized that familiar tall, dark blue-haired male from somewhere as well– somewhere, which perhaps, better left forgotten. But you couldn’t, since your feelings for him are still one of those that you hold so dearly to yourself.

It looks like the both of you coincidentally had the same idea of going out on this seemingly fine night– you really can’t tell it anymore as much. Claudio was contemplating for a good minute there, thinking if he should openly acknowledge your sole presence, or simply walked toward another direction, but in the end– 

– “(Y/N)?” He begins to call out to your name; his voice sounding soft, yet lowered than usual, as if he was actually hesitant to break the lingering silence that was built between the two of you.

Your mind went blank for a moment there, unsure on what or how to answer him to that. Without thinking much, you tried to walk back towards the direction as to where you previously were from. 

“Wait!” The Italian male instantly cries out to you once more, catching up to your retreating form with ease. To be fair, he doesn’t really know how to deal with the whole situation either, since he never really experiences things like this with anyone else, but you. Only you.

“Can we talk, please..?” So you stopped in your tracks, turning your head to finally face him again, but this time, properly. You couldn’t find it in yourself to ignore him completely when his voice sounded so sincere, just like how he always did when you both are still in a relationship. Never once has he mistreated you, there’s that.

“About what, exactly?”

“Can we find anywhere more private, at least? Just this once– I want you to hear me out.” It’s been a while since you two talked like this, so it feels a little.. Odd. Yet, it gives you a lot of mixed feelings; you couldn’t even tell.

“It’s important.”

You gave it some thought, before eventually sighing with a defeated look. His expression alone makes you feel something, which stirs within you so much. Like, you genuinely feel bad if you chose to ignore or reject his simple request. What if he means it this time? The least you could do is to hear him out, even for this once.

“Fine. Just this once."

"You got any places in mind, or my place instead? Since it’s already quite late.” And why would you even offer your place to begin with? You wouldn't even know.

“Your place,” he replied almost instantly, very well aware of how late it already has been. Claudio wanted to settle everything properly for once, given the current opportunity– or even if it meant that this would be the last time he would be able to see you.

“Lead the way.”

“I’ll follow and watch from behind.”

The dark blue haired male didn’t mean to sound creepy in any way, but rather, his tone has shown the hint of protectiveness underlying within it, even though you both aren’t exactly together anymore. Still one of his admirable traits, but you wouldn’t say it out loud. Even when the two of you started heading towards the said destination, he remains behind with a quite respectable distance, silently feeling as if he has a sense of purpose for the night.

“This better be good.”

“I promise, I’ll make it worth your time.” Claudio reassures to your utterances; his eyes taking in his changing surroundings that begin to fill his senses like no other. But deep down, it’s like a mask he’s trying to put up, feeling the nervousness gradually eating him up internally. The last thing he wanted to do is to mess things up further and you being disappointed by him in a lot of ways.

Once the two of you arrived at where you’re currently residing, you told him to wait for you in the living room as you went to prepare some drinks for the both of you. You don’t even understand how you can be so casual right now– especially when your literal ex was inside your home around this specific hour, but you couldn’t care less. If his intentions were true, that’s the least you could do. You can fight if anything.

His eyes silently followed over your movements from afar, not making any attempts to approach you there or anything akin to it. The momentary stillness within the air definitely helps a bit; trying to remain calm himself.

Not much has changed inside your house either. The photo frames are still in place, and even the small vase with flowers in it looked so fresh; placed just on top of the table nicely. But what caught his attention is the pendant he used to give you in the past– hanging someplace safe, yet visible to those who are observant enough.

The exorcist was surprised that you would even keep that, clearly thought you got rid of it sometime during the breakup.

A nostalgic look flashes over his features, seeing as the remains of his magic somehow works perfectly still within the pendant, yet faint– as if to symbolize loneliness, even somber. It means a lot to him that you didn’t choose to throw it away.

Not too long after, his gaze shifted once again when you returned from the kitchen with the cups in your hands, settling yourself down across from him once you’ve given the cup to him. 

“Alright, speak.”

You didn’t intend to sound so harsh, as it’s the first thought that you literally had at the moment. He didn’t seem to mind as much, clearly understanding as he nodded slightly. “Right.”

“I just– I just wanted to apologize for how I broke up with you so suddenly back then.. And I realized that I never really gave you a clear explanation either.”

Straight to the point, he refuses to waste time any longer, choosing his next words carefully before adding to his previous statement. “You’re always so good to me, and you deserved better. I should’ve respected you more.”

The tension in the air is palpable, yet he tries his best to not let it get through him while letting his words flow out— the words he wanted to speak for so long. 

“But it's something had to do with my job before. I’m sure you’re aware of it already, of how dangerous it truly is.”

You remained quiet during the time he spoke, giving him all the time he needed after he took a sip of the drink you had made earlier. No anger is present, but rather, you let his words sink in.

His slate blue eyes would find your own, letting it stay there as you returned his gaze. Claudio wanted you to understand each of what he has said, of how he meant every word.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me in any way, but for the real reason– to keep it simple, I don’t want to potentially put you into danger; the risk from the last one is quite unpredictable.”

You had this one almost unreadable expression plastered across your face; silently contemplating over his words, while your eyes are skeptically glancing at him. Claudio noticed the look you currently gave him, which leads to him eliciting a quiet sigh.

“I mean it; honest.” He sounded way more genuine and truthful at this point; finding no reason to lie to you after what happened between the both of you. “You know how much I cared about your safety, cara.”

The rather endearing nickname slips past his lips without any second thoughts, yet he makes no attempt to take it back. Just one of his old habits; one that he couldn’t seem to get rid of. His words did reach your ears, but somehow, you got distracted by something else almost entirely.

“.. Have you eaten properly lately?” 

The Italian exorcist was caught off guard by your simple statement, remaining silent for a bit as he feels called out. You noticed, after all. Was it that obvious?

“I don’t know– it’s just been rough for me since, well, that day.” He looks almost too ashamed to admit it outright at this moment, but he knew he had no other choice. “I think I haven’t been able to eat properly as of late..”

Claudio suddenly had the sudden urge to tell you everything right from his mind. About how he always tries to keep himself as busy as he could– up to the point of forgetting his daily meals intake, whether it’s unintentional or not. Yet, he refrained from doing so, keeping it all to himself instead.

The guilt you felt at this moment is becoming too real; your eyes appearing to be filled with certain heaviness, though you managed to gather up your next words without any hints of hesitation whatsoever.

“Wait here, I’m gonna prepare something for you.” Before he could even protest, you've already gone to the kitchen. You wouldn’t dare to say that you’re a good cook much, but you’re willing to regardless. It’s like, the least of your worries at this point.

Claudio was taken aback by your actions, to say the least, but some other part of him feels somehow.. Relieved, in a way. He couldn’t help but to wonder; what’s running through your mind right now, and what made you act that way. Nonetheless, it’s somehow leading for a better progress, by the looks of it. 

It feels good to be able to let everything out from his chest– feeling more better than how he truly feels during the past few weeks.

However, his attention was shifted back to you once he heard a wince-- accompanied by strings of cusses under your breath. You've accidentally cut some tiny part of your finger with a knife while you're just trying to slice something.

The male immediately rushes to your side, feeling worried as ever if anything had gone wrong. His gaze instantly landed on your bloodied finger, letting out a faint sigh of concern. "You alright?"

You get startled by his sudden presence being way too close to you, but you simply brush it off.

"It's just a minor cut; a small mistake. I shouldn't be so careless.." Your voice trailed off near the end of your sentence, looking downwards with a somewhat disappointed expression.

"Let me see it." Claudio held his palm open, motioning for you to give out your hand to him. You didn't have any much choice, so you obliged. He began to take a closer look at one of your injured fingers, helping you clean it a bit, before wrapping the small bandage around it carefully. It looked nothing too serious, much to his relief.

"There, all done. Take it easy, okay? Please be careful, next time."

By the time he finished speaking out those words, he realized that you were no longer staring at your now bandaged finger, but rather, at him. So, he returned the silent gaze, not knowing what to do or say next--

-- that is, until he noticed that your eyes are getting teary this time, averting your gaze away quickly from him in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." But what is there to apologize for? He already caught sight of it, now feeling a little more saddened by it himself.

"Hey, there's nothing to be sorry for." He replies in a soft tone, retaining his gentle demeanor as he silently urges you into an embrace. "Mistakes happen, after all."

One of his hands begins to rub your back, in hopes of providing you some sort of comfort. Perhaps, you're still having trouble processing the whole events from the night, and it's starting to gradually overwhelm you.

"I'm sorry, I just.." You missed him. By the time you fall into his embrace, he could tell it so well-- especially when you begin to cling onto him ever so slightly, trying to keep yourself steady.

Claudio tightens his hold around you just a little, silently savoring the moment while still rubbing your back in a comforting manner. You did miss him, after all; just like how he did with you.

He wanted to tell you that he still, very much cares and loves you, but the timing doesn't feel right to him. Maybe sometime, when everything is back to normal and alright between you two once more, he'll finally have the courage to say it.

Just for now, he wanted to relish in your presence-- feeling your warmth alone, and even the scent that you possessed to fill his senses so nicely. God, he misses this; he misses you so dearly.

"I'll help with the cooking, okay?" He spoke in an almost hushed tone, brushing some of your strands of hair behind. Claudio is always the better cook between the two of you-- able to whip something up even with limited time. "I'll do the chopping and all of it, you'll just help me around a bit. Don't want to risk any more injuries on your hand."

You nodded slowly while your head is still buried on his chest, smiling ever so slightly when he finally pressed his lips on your forehead.

hope the ending part isn't too rushed bc i think my brain got fried atp /hj

@luneariaa do not repost; reblogs are alright. all rights reserved.

[spacexseven]

unsung hero

im so sorry i saw this i got too impatient and i don't know if this makes any sense i'm still lightheaded i just need to empty my thoughts about this for a moment. unedited, will get to it later :(

request from @leviamere: y! poe x fem! darling where he’s her stalker and he uses his ability to keep anyone getting too friendly away from her

cw: yandere character, stalking, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, jealousy, mentions of kidnapping and imprisonment

poe can recognize that what he's doing probably hurts you more than it hurts him, but he can't stop now. not when he's already done so much. you wouldn't appreciate him for his efforts because you couldn't understand that he was only trying to protect you. poe knew what sort of intentions they all had. he would know it better than anyone else—

—he had those desires too, after all.

the difference, he believed, was that he wouldn't dream of breaking your heart. he would rather die than hurt your feelings, but who's to say anyone else would? he couldn't let them break your heart. he couldn't bear to watch as someone else set their sights on you, knowing you deserved better. he knew even he wasn't worthy of your love, but maybe, once you realized nobody could ever love you as much as poe, care for you so deeply, go out of their way to make you happy as much as he would, maybe, you'd give him a chance.

maybe, you would even love him back.

he shouldn't be getting ahead of himself. there was still so much to do before he could get to that point. the way things were now, he couldn't even bring himself to wave at you. he couldn't be blamed—you were just so breathtaking. poe, who prided himself on his diction and skill in writing, couldn't even manage a word in front of you. it was easier to write out his affections and hopes out on paper, a stack of unsent and unopened envelopes collecting dust in the corner of his room from how many times he wrote out a letter to you only to change his mind in the last moment and keep it to himself, plagued by the possibilities. would you be creeped out to come home and find his letter on your table? he would be crushed if you thought of him like that.

he didn't have many options, too shy to approach you, too scared to leave you gifts. he felt so pathetic sometimes, and he used to wonder; would you find him worthless and pitiful, for being so useless? wasn't there anything else he could do for you, to prove to you he only wanted to keep you safe? soon enough, he found out what he could do for you.

the first time it happened, it was a stupid move on his part.

for a long time now, poe had been...he supposed the right word would be stalking you, but he hated having to use such a despicable word. it was really jsut like spending time together. sure, you weren't aware of him, but wasn't that the point? he just wanted to see you be yourself. wasn't this the best way to learn about you, your likes and dislikes? it wasn't like he had malicious intentions, not like he wanted to steal you away when you were alone and too far to be heard screaming for help, locking you somewhere where nobody could find you and he would be the only light in your (miserable) life.

well, he was hoping it wouldn't come to that.

it was almost romantic, just being able to watch you go about your day for so long and not get bored. not that he could ever get tired of you, but he thought you would appreciate the sentiment. poe was just observing you to get to know you better! he wanted to make sure he could be the perfect partner for you, and wouldn't you be happy if you knew? that someone cared so much about what you liked? that he was willing to change everything he could to make you happy? he knew you like the back of his hand, and many nights he had spent just designing the perfect setting for you and him. for dates, he could take you into one of his books, where nobody would bother the two of you and he could take you everywhere you ever wanted to go. he could make you so happy, if you'd just give him the chance.

on one of his days with you, he couldn't help but notice someone staring a little too intently at you. he knew you were strikingly beautiful, gorgeous without even trying, but his stomach churned when others looked at you for too long. the moment the stranger left a piece of paper with his number on your table while you were distracted, scurrying away after, poe felt his patience snap. it was far too easy to snatch the damning strip away from under your nose. after that, however, he was extremely reckless. he could admit that, but what else was he supposed to do? just watch as someone else tried to steal you away? honestly, poe didn't feel a shred of guilt as he watched his target open the text, probably believing it was you who had sent it. in fact, he could even say there was some satisfaction to be found when he watched the pest disappear in front of his eyes, sucked away into a world where he would suffer endlessly, a deserving end for scum like that.

it helped that nobody seemed to care. poe never faced any consequences (except for the obvious relief that he was able to protect you—but he relished in that. if anything, it only convinced him to keep going.) and you weren't perturbed because you didn't know. to him, that meant as long as he was careful about it, you would never find out and you would always be safe. that was a pretty good deal to him. you would never recognize his hard work, but he wasn't bothered.

after that first time, he would be lying if he said he didn't think it through. he was aware of what he was doing, but as far as he was concerned it was all for your good. you couldn't be upset if his reasons were so sweet, right? he couldn't bear to lose you to anyone else, especially knowing they could never treat you right. it was the only thing he could do, until he could approach you himself.

so he sticks to ripping away rivals from reality, throwing them deep into a fictional world full of twists and turns they could never escape. endless traps and agonizing puzzles, designed to never be solved. he had been told that he had a penchant for horror and things of the sort, after all. there was that coworker of yours, that upstairs neighbor of yours who played music loud enough that you'd come to complain, the friend who was uncomfortably close to you, and...well, he had mostly lost count by now. as time went by, he got less and less picky. he wasn't worried about his lack of restraint, however, it was better to stop the rot before it got worse. before they fell even more for you.

he was doing you a favor, really! wouldn't you be terrified if one of them suddenly asked you out, or tried to kiss you? wouldn't it be annoying to have to deal with those nuisances any more than you already had? surely, you couldn't be concerned that the people around you were slowly disappearing into thin air?

until the day he finally gathers up enough courage to talk to you, poe had to be satisfied with just acting from afar. he thought it was like being your guardian angel, in a way. wasn't that so perfect? he felt as though he shared a private bond with you, something so intimate that nobody else could ever comprehend, because they wouldn't be able to fathom the magnitude of his feelings for you. he found that he didn't hate the idea at all.

for now, it would be enough.

[eel-sedate]

Some things are just not meant to be

part 1 | part 2

Malleus Draconia x gn!reader

It has been a week after your failed confession to Malleus, you're now left all bitter. It doesn't help that you're completely alone with nobody else than yourself to get along with, you have so many friends yet you're still so greedy. The more you're known, the more lonely you are. You long for someone to hug you and tell you that it's all going to be alright.

As a matter of fact, you're so miserable actually. Pathetically crumbling down at the slightest bits of stress that slowly piles up, Malleus has taken note of your strange behaviour. He's not going to let his best friend go through all of this alone is he? He slowly strides over to the Ramshackle dorm, curious at what state you're in now.

Malleus carefully knocks on the door, leaning his ear in to get some more knowledge on what's going on. He hears the muffled wails from behind the door, the sound confuses him. Why are you crying? What has he done now? It's always on him, isn't it? You open the door, not caring who were to see you in that disheveled state.

"Malleus?" "Child of man, why are you crying? Have the days of melancholy still not pass?" "Sniff It's nothing. I was just a bit stressed. So, why're you here?" you wiped the snot that was dripping from your nose, you knew you weren't a very pretty crier. You looked even more hideous with your nose all red and your eyes all puffy.

"I came here to consult.. Was what I did wrong? Should I have not told you my answer?" "It's not that.. It's just.. It was super embarrassing for you to just drop that big of a bomb on me, especially in public." Malleus' face looked as if he were a puppy that got kicked, traces of regret slightly hinting on his features.

"I.. I apologize.." You felt enraged at that word, you could care less about the confession. The past is the past, but him apologizing for what he did? It was just ridiculous. "You're a manchild, Malleus. Have you never grew up?" your voice was laced with venom, Malleus felt degraded. He knew what he did was wrong, he understood it.

"I could care less about your apology. I just want you to understand what you did was wrong, just.. Just get out of my sight.." You pushed Malleus away from the Ramshackle dorm, rushing to get inside and shut the door. You never knew that your emotions could get the better of you, you really regret what you've said.

But you can't take it back now, no. You're a fucking dumbass for thinking your life is all miserable and pathetic, but nobody blames you. You are sent here against your will with no way of going back. Is there even a way to reconcile with Malleus? Well, there is.

After your fight with him, Malleus went back to the dorms feeling guilty. It never occured to him that humans were on a whole 'nother plane. The prefect was not wrong, he couldn't deny it anymore. He really was immature, he'd get upset when things don't go his way.

You had all the right to be mad at him, he thought. It was him who was at fault. But in reality, you both were too blinded by stupidness. You both were fools who were played by your own game. When the time comes, you'll finally come to terms that not every feeling has to be reciprocated romantically.

You and Malleus can still stay friends, share hugs and thoughts, not everything has to be about romantic love. Sometimes, what you needed was space. If you did get your feelings reciprocated, you'd just be stuck in a one-sided relationship, with you being too guilty to break up with Malleus because you feel that you're obligated not to.

[psithurista]

approach shift pt. seven

pairing: Peter Parker x f!reader (TASM/Andrew Garfield version)  length: 4.1k  rating: explicit 18+  warnings: Angst, brief mention of death

Peter Parker is a weirdo. A hot, distracting, irritating weirdo. And you can’t afford distractions right now. So there’s only one thing to do.

series masterlist

Bear points her spoon at you, her eyes narrowed. “That fucker.”

You wince. You need to leave if you don’t want to miss your train, but the sooner you get off the stool at the bench, the sooner you have to go outside, and it’s sleeting miserably out there.

“Forget it. I shouldn’t have brought it up again.”

“It’s been over a month. Why are you still thinking about him at all? Guy turned out to be a piece of shit. It happens to the best of us.”

You run your tongue over your teeth. Dirty dishes are cluttered in the sink, and the sight makes your skin itchy, especially with the knowledge of the recent cockroach plague that had befallen the building, but you’re out of time to do anything about it now. “I know you’re going to tell me I’m being an idiot, but I just. I can’t stop thinking he wasn’t lying about everything, at least. I mean, if he was fucking around with someone else, why not just say so? I left that door way open for him, you know?”

She speaks around her full mouth, looking down at her phone. “You’re right.”

“I am?”

“I’m going to tell you you’re being an idiot. What’s the big deal with Parker anyway?” She checks off on her fingers. “So he’s tall. He’s got those stupid fucking big brown baby cow eyes. He’s nice.” She injects so much sarcastic venom into the word that you’re surprised it doesn’t slither right out and across the table. “Like you couldn’t find fifty other tall, pretty, nice guys on this block alone willing to rock your shit any night of the week.”

Easy for her to say, you think, glumly.

You’re painfully, tragically fixated on him. You’ve been trying to convince yourself that, logically, most of it’s probably just to do with how much is still unresolved. You don’t have any answers, not even shitty ones.

Of course you’d be stuck on it. Who wouldn’t be?

But despite the occasional waves of fury-tinged sorrow when you let yourself think about it for longer than a few minutes, you just…

You really, really miss him.

You miss the way his eyebrows draw up and together while listening to you talk, and the way he’d always nudge against you when something dumb happened in a movie until you nudged back in acknowledgement, and his terrible one-liners.  

You miss how easily he blushes, and how creased his eyes get when he smiles really big.

It’s a disorienting feeling. You’ve been fantasising in equal measure about throwing everything in your fridge at him, and pressing your face to his neck to breathe in the smell of his skin.

You’d get deeper into it, if Bear wasn’t already over talking about it. “I just can’t believe he hasn’t even messaged,” you settle on instead, the small-sound of your voice irritating even to yourself.

She slurps another mouthful of cereal. “Oh shit, they’re remaking Jaws.”

“I gotta go,” you say, throwing back the last tepid third of bitter instant coffee in your mug. “I’ll be home after six if you still wanna have that thing with Chris.”

“Proud of you,” she says, not looking up. “Go cure cancer.”

You wrap your jacket around your lowered head, your shoes clopping loud on the tiles as you rush down the subway stairs and into the dry.

You’ve been trying to make a habit of setting a positive tone for the day on the way to work; a piece of advice you’d gleaned from Googling “get over breakup” one particularly pathetic Sunday morning a couple of weeks back.

The suggestions were embarrassingly self-helpy, and if Bear caught you she’d probably toss your phone out the window.

Now, safely ignored by every other occupant of the train car, you surreptitiously scroll down to tap start on the podcast you’ve been listening to, slipping your earbuds in.

“…it’s important to remember that it’s okay to fall down, as long as we get back up.”

You lean your head back, gently rocking with the rattle of the train. Everything smells like damp ashtray and hotdog water.

There’s a young man sitting opposite you, his legs stretched out into the aisle, reading a paperback. He’s wearing sage brogues with no socks and pants just short enough to bare his crossed-over ankles. You catch a glimpse of the spine: Calvino.

“…each of us has the same dirty geode inside of us, and we just need to polish it until it shines. Your geode is precious and rare, and it is in your hands, women warriors.”

You cringe so hard it’s almost audible, scrunching your face as you hit pause. Maybe you should let Bear throw your phone away.

You look back up in time to see the man across from you quickly averting his eyes back to his book, smiling slightly.   

His haircut looks expensive, and you imagine that he’s the kind of guy who’d buy thirty-dollar jars of asparagus and artisan coffee beans for his elaborate cold drip set up. The kind of guy who would probably have an unironic opinion about regatta season.

You’re being unfair, but you can’t help it.

As though he can feel your attention, he looks back up. He smiles again, this time a little more pointedly, tilting his head to one side in a curious, open gesture, as if he’s inviting you to let him in on the joke; whatever it is you’re wincing about.

You lower your face to your phone screen, shy. He’s attractive, and the direction of his smile feels nice, if you’re being honest. But it only lasts a second, and then you’re thinking about a messier haircut, less well-cut jeans, ratty Vans.

You grit your teeth to creaking. You don’t look back up until you reach your stop, slipping quickly past, not slowing until you’re back out under the open, grey air.

Oscorp’s research centre dominates the entire corner of the block. The gardens around the entrance are filled, as always, with visitors taking pictures.

As far as image rebrands go, the garden had been an inspired move. While the tower itself remains staunchly brutalist, the arches of whimsically sculpted greenery bunched around the base soften the lines of cement and glass spearing into the sky.

You hurry up to the main entrance, digging blindly around the clutter in your bag for your ID. You’re not late yet, but by the time you make it through security and up to the lab, you will be.

Nobody looks up from their screens as you finally slip inside the twelfth-floor workroom, letting the heavy door sink soundlessly shut behind you. Doctor Brant’s office door is closed, but considering the entire wall is made of glass, it doesn’t really help your situation.

In an insane stroke of luck, however, he seems to be preoccupied on the phone. His head is slightly bowed, elbow braced on his desk.

You wince, performing a strange tiptoe-dash in your effort to make it across to the other side of the room before you’re noticed.

“I’m so sorry,” you murmur, plopping into your seat.

Your desk-neighbour Gary looks up. “Did you say something?”

His skin is the same reddish-pale shade as his moustache and thinning hair. From a distance, it looks like he has an unnatural protuberance of skin growing between his nose and upper lip.

“Oh, I just meant, I’m sorry I’m late.”

He looks at you blankly. “Okay.” He turns back to his screen, where he’s entering observation notes into the record template.

“Okay,” you mouth to yourself.

The research program Doctor Brant heads is one of Oscorp’s longest-running, and the position within it had been highly coveted among the intake of new graduates. You’d heard the wistful envy in the voices of other assistants during corporate orientation, and you’d felt secretly proud.

The thing about respectable, coveted, long-running programs however, is that day-to-day, for the most part, they’re excruciatingly boring.

On today’s agenda: heading into the lab for observations, ordering the saline from ops you forgot to order yesterday, printing fresh labels for your third-round samples, having a wrestling match with the machine when it prints your labels wrong, more observations.

You’re frowning down at a page filled with confusing readouts when Doctor Brant’s office door flies open. He stalks out, a folder under his arm. “This is how we start haemorrhaging funds again,” he’s saying into his cell phone, looking harangued. “How many times will they audit before they believe us? This time, it really isn’t us doing whatever this is.”

You glance around to see if anyone else is paying attention. They aren’t.

“I’m coming up there myself. Hold on,” he adds, quickly, furiously, hanging up. He spots you staring and veers toward you.

You only have to panic for a moment about being busted eavesdropping, then he’s pushing the folder into your hands.

“Legal wants this. Can you scan it through? I’ll be out the rest of the afternoon so shred it when you’re done.”

You look down at it in bewilderment. It’s stamped CLASSIFIED, and there is an edge of slightly-curled continuous printer paper sticking out one side, blue-lined and hole-punched.

He’s squinting impatiently at you, so you snap your attention back and try your hardest to look capable and trustworthy.

“Absolutely. Of course. I got this, no problem,” you say, adding a quick, “thank you,” for good measure.

You wait until he’s gone before flipping the folder open.

At first, it doesn’t make sense. Just rows of digital printed timestamps and letters.

Then you realise you’re looking at observation notes. From an earlier incarnation of this program? You can’t tell.

You sit down, leafing through. The title pages are missing, and you recognise none of the non-standard abbreviations. It’s almost as though it’s written in code.

There’s a string of names at the bottom of the last page, but only one jumps out: PARKER, R., pale-faded but clear as day.

You hunch in your seat.

Of course.

Parker, you are quickly learning, is an irritatingly common surname. You can add ‘old research notes’ to your list of things that are now ruined, right under Sex and the City and jazz.

You spend a few more minutes flipping through the readouts, feeling increasingly deflated as the secret meaning fails to present itself to you.

Someone has signed off in black pen at the bottom of each page; just two letters, N.O., again and again, as though taunting you. If you’d been hoping for some kind of excitement to break up your day, here is your answer: no, no, no.

You feed each freshly-scanned page into the shredder, already bored again, ready for lunch.

People crowd ahead of you as you make your way down to the Wellness Centre.


Part of Oscorp’s public image overhaul had been to re-establish itself as a forward-thinking, people-focused company. As though renaming the cafeteria and offering pilates and handing out filtered glass water bottles could erase the lingering spectre of accidental death and injury left by the last several decades of Oscorp’s operations.

“What‘s going on today?” you ask the woman typing an email on her phone beside you.

Her eyes flick up for a second before returning to the message. “Free plants, I think.”

You decide dealing with the crowd isn’t worth whatever food is on offer. Turning, you weave your way back toward the elevators and spend the entire trip down fighting the urge to dig your phone out of your bag.

It’s stopped drizzling, though the sky’s still grey. You head toward the cafe on the next corner down, right opposite the park, your bag bouncing against your hip with each stride.

You’re almost there when you realise your phone has somehow leapt into your hand without your permission, and you’re refreshing your messages.

There are a handful of new notifications from a group chat comprised of people from school, one from one of your old co-workers, and a link to a video from Bear.

You hold the door open for a girl carrying a tray of coffees, and she slips past, murmuring her thanks.

It’s busy and warm inside, and everything smells like toasted bread. You order in a daze, stepping to the side to wait, your attention back on your screen.

Peter was last active twenty-five minutes ago. You refresh it again, your thumb hovering over the screen, rewarded with the same thing you’ve seen the last thousand times you’ve checked.

i’ll come by to pick you up at 5ish for dinner tonight. may said she’s really looking fw to meeting you :)

It wouldn’t hurt just to make sure he’s doing okay. Just a quick message, to ask whether he’s been sleeping, and to check that he hasn’t got another black eye or broken any bones since the last time you saw him.

You picture him getting home to his empty, dark apartment at two in the morning. Dripping a little water onto the aloe plant that lives on his bathroom counter. Curling up in his bed.

It would be harmless.

Wouldn’t it?

Your head snaps up at the sound of your name being called. You’re scooping up your coffee and paper-wrapped bagel when you hear it again, behind you this time.

“I thought that was you!” May’s smile lights up her entire face, almost as bright as the floral scrubs she’s wearing.

You gape wordlessly for an uncomfortably protracted moment before you manage to reconfigure your face into what you hope passes for a smile. “May! Hi! Oh, my God! What are you doing here?”

“Hospital cafeteria coffee is a special kind of awful,” she says, lifting her hand to show you the coffee she’s holding. It’s in a vacuum-type cup; pink and insulated.

You try to angle your body so your own coffee in its non-reusable cardboard is a little less visible. “Oh, right! Yeah! Of course!” You need to calm the fuck down. Your voice is about three octaves higher than usual.

She pauses. “Is everything okay?”

You open your mouth to respond and find that you can’t. You’re still emotionally snagged on the barbed thought of Peter watching old sci-fi movies in bed alone. Having May in front of you is making you feel hot and trapped.

May’s brows crease. “Oh, dear.”

You laugh, embarrassed, touching your fingertip to the inner corner of your eye. “Shit, sorry. This is. Um. Yes, yeah, I’m okay. Sorry.” You laugh again, and it comes out like static.

She purses her lips. “Come on. Let’s go sit in the park.”

Her tone brooks no argument, and you find yourself glad to obey, your brain happily soggy and freed from decision-making. She leads you to a quiet spot by the fountain, on the stone steps.

A toddler with a chaff-coloured cowlick blowing in the wind is chasing the pigeons and shrieking with delight. You watch his parents smiling at each other as they follow close behind.

May digs a tube out of her bag and deposits a dime-sized amount of citrus-smelling lotion into her palms before smoothing her hands together. “Peter always tells me I should stop trying to get involved in things that are none of my business, but then, he really shouldn’t talk.”

You swallow a mouthful of coffee. “We kind of broke up. I think.”

She makes a pained noise, but doesn’t seem surprised.

You feel the need to defend him from the disappointed look on her face. “It’s my fault. I misinterpreted the whole thing. I tried to make it more serious than we agreed. Peter didn’t do anything wrong.”

She does look surprised at this. “I thought it was already serious. Peter’s never brought anybody around to meet me before. And from how he’d been talking…”

Your throat tightens. You look down at your knees and find there’s a ladder forming in your tights, right below the hem of your skirt. “I thought so too. Or hoped, at least.”

She doesn’t push the conversation further, which is nice of her, but it means you’re left with an expanse of expectant silence. A mouse-brown sparrow flits past your head and dives into the row of bushes surrounding the fountain.

“He never told me how he was feeling.” You wonder if this is a mistake. It’s probably weird of you to be having this conversation with his aunt, without his knowledge, when you aren’t even together anymore. If you were ever together. “But I could tell things were just…off. Sometimes.”

She nods. “The whole Oscorp thing couldn’t have been easy.”

“Yeah,” you agree, before you realise what she’s said. “Wait, what?”

“Well, it’s…it’s just probably bringing up some painful memories for him having you there, that’s all. After what happened, you know, with Harry, and everything else.”

“What? You mean Harry Osborn? Like the old CEO’s son?” You’d heard he suffered some kind of semi-public breakdown not long after his father’s death, smashed up one of the labs and lost all of his remaining shares before disappearing into a hospital somewhere, but you can’t imagine how any of this connects with Peter. “I’m sorry, I’m really lost. What are we talking about here?”

The sparrow emerges victorious from the greenery, a doomed grass spider wriggling in the pinch of its tiny beak. May’s eyes dart searchingly between yours, her expression growing cold. “He hasn’t told you.”

You gnaw the inside of your cheek. You feel very stupid. “Hasn’t told me what?”

She looks terribly sad. She gently lays her hand over yours, her plain wedding band cold against your skin. The gesture feels like the application of a balm, preempting pain. You imagine then that she must be a very, very good nurse. “Oh, sweetheart. Her name was Gwen.”

——————

Bear clomps through the apartment, all the way from one side to the other and back again. Her footfalls sound heavy. She must be wearing her oil-slick rainbow Docs, you muse. Her door was shut when you got in, so this is only a guess, but you can practically see her through the walls.

More clomping, then a pause, coming to a halt right outside your bedroom door. “You nearly ready to go?” she yells.

If she’s wearing those boots, then you’d be willing to bet she’s also wearing shorts. Maybe those green high-waisted ones. You really like those shorts. Maybe you’ll ask where she got them.

“Can I come in? Are you naked?”

Then again, she probably found them in a thrift store. She has a weird talent for finding cool stuff wherever she goes; one you sadly do not share.

Your door opens and she stands silhouetted against the light, looking down at you sitting on your bed, in the dark, in your pajamas for a long moment. “Do you want me to cancel with Chris?”

“No. You go without me. I kinda wanna be alone.”

She cracks the knuckles of her index and middle fingers absent-mindedly. “O kay, but you’ve been alone. Most nights this week.”

“It’s okay.” Your voice sounds strangely flat. “Just tired.”

She cracks her thumb; a single loud, thoughtful pop. Then she walks away, leaving your door open.

You contemplate climbing into the shower fully-dressed. You’re sure it’d feel nice, sitting under the warm spray. It’s only the thought of then having to peel the cold, clinging skin of your pajamas off after the fact that convinces you not to.

Bear reappears sans jacket, now silent on socked feet, the spare blanket from the sofa in one hand and her laptop in the other. She shuffles into your room. “You wanna watch The Thing?”

Your sinuses tingle and you almost cry with affection for her. “Yeah,” you say, your voice tiny. “Yeah, I wanna watch The Thing.”

“The old one,” she qualifies haughtily as she plops onto the bed beside you. “I don’t give a fuck how sad you are; we’re not watching the remake.”

“Obviously,” you say, scooting over to make room for her.

As you settle in, you catch a glimpse of her thumbs moving swiftly over a message, making an excuse to Chris, something about you both eating bad leftovers. She could’ve just blamed you, but she doesn’t. 

You aren’t really seeing the movie. It’s all just colours and shapes and noises. Your eyes follow the splashes of red across the screen as you speak, quiet.

“His girlfriend died.”

You can see her looking at you from your periphery, but she doesn’t say anything.

“It happened right before college. It’s why he took a year off and started late. His aunt told me it was an accident, but he saw it happen, and he couldn’t stop it, and he blames himself.” As though to drive it deeper into your own guts, you say it again. “She died. In front of him.”

There’s a long silence, broken only by the voices of the actors onscreen.

“Shit,” Bear finally says.

“Yeah.”

May hadn’t shared many details. Just that she— Gwen —had interned at Oscorp, and that Peter had been friends with Harry Osborn since they were children. The dual losses had been near-simultaneous. Peter hadn’t recovered. Not completely. Not really.

“He never seemed to talk to anyone. Except for his aunt. It’s why I didn’t think he was seeing anyone else, even with all the weird shit going on. He was totally isolated from everyone. Like, I had to be the one to approach him the first time we… anyway.”

Bear nods. “Is he in therapy?”

“I don’t think so.”

Her next words come out very carefully, as though she’s trying to be tactful. “Do you think…maybe, you don’t really miss being with him? Are you sure you don’t just feel sorry for him? Or like you need to save him?”

You think about one of the last times you’d gone over to see him. He’d stopped to hold the stairwell door open for one of his neighbours; a sour-faced old man with arms full of groceries. The man had given no thanks, or even acknowledgement, but Peter had still followed a careful distance behind, darting forward to hold the door again when he’d reached his floor. He hadn’t even said anything. Because, you now know intimately, that’s simply the type of person Peter Parker is. 

You think about the clean-laundry smell of his hoodies and the awkward way he folds his frame into too-small chairs and how carefully he ran his hands up the length of your throat while he was buried inside you.

“I miss him.”

She sighs. “I knew you were gonna say that.”

You both sink into silence, watching the characters in the movie play out their inevitable ends. Despite the gore, this feels safe. Like model trains with nowhere to go but to the ends of their assigned tracks.

You nudge her foot with yours. “Sorry for fucking up your night. You’re a good egg.”

She pats the top of your head, then quickly yanks her arm away to stifle a sneeze in the crook of her elbow. “Yeah, I know.”

You fall asleep curled softly into the warm space left by Bear’s body.

It’s pouring so heavily you can barely keep your umbrella over your head. Your arms shake with the effort, water sloshing and sucking at your feet.

“It’s coming down pretty hard,” you shout.

“What?” May shouts back. You’re standing together in her kitchen. The floorboards have liquefied to mud, the drops pinging metallic off the benches and light fixtures.

“I said it’s raining really hard!”

“It’s okay,” she yells. “Peter’s fixing it.” Her face is a washed-out blur in the distance. The dimensions of the room are off; she’s at least twenty yards away, the house stretched to surreal proportions, and in the gloaming you can barely tell which direction to turn your body.

“Peter’s here?” You spin around, squinting into the dark. “Peter?”

You grope groggily out of the blankets for your phone, still beside you on the bed. It’s just after four in the morning.

He was last active two minutes ago.

you should be asleep, you type, squinting, and then swiftly delete. 

i hope you’re okay, you try again, backspacing the characters as fast as you write them.

Is he alone right now? Is he warm enough? Is he safe?

i’m really sorry.

The message glows at you, unsent.

You turn over and sleep again, dreamless this time.

[nqds]

Nine

Aurelia

I rise from my crouched position.

Slowly, so slowly. I look toward the two people at the end of the alley, eyes wide, with knives at their throat. “Hello boys.” I murmur. Their eyes widen as I walk forward. My mask still covers my face, they don’t know who I am. Yet. “What do you want?” One of them spits at the same time the other hisses, “Do you know who we are?” I ignore the first question. “Yes, I do.” I say “How are you Julias? Caspar?” Their faces pale even more, the moonlight making them look ghostly. “Who are you?” One of the asks, I can’t tell the difference between them. “That depends.” I say throwing words out there, trying to tell them apart. “You tell me first, which one is which?” Julias’s? Eyes narrow, “I’m Julias.” Julias.  Caspar shoots him a look. “You didn’t have to tell her!” he hisses at him. “Well excuse me for answering a question when a knife is at my throat!” He snaps. “I told you it was a terrible idea to come out into town tonight, but did you listen? Noo!” “Shut up!” Genevieve’s voice cuts through their bickering and they fall quiet again. I take one step toward them. “Thank you Julias.” I say sweetly. Caspar snarls at me. “Who are you? And what do you want from us?” “Who am I?” I ask sweetly. “I, am the girl you locked up for a week, tried to have executed, and failed miserably.” “What?” He squints trying to look through the mask. I roll my eyes and remove my hood. Then my mask. Their faces fall as the recognise me. Slowly, it dawns on them, their faces taking on and unearthly look. “You, my boys,” I say, “Are lucky enough to be graced by the presence of the Silent Court.” “How? Caspar says quieter, “How did you survive? We watched after you fell you never resurfaced.”  Julias shoots him a look, but the attempt was nullified by the fact that he had a knife to the throat, and he looked as if he was about to spill his stomach contents on the pavement in front of him. “Magic.” I smirk.

“What do you want?” Julias asks with an unyielding attempt at ferocity. “What do I want?” I laugh, “What do I want? I want your father dead, face down in a gully. I want my kingdom back. And I won’t stop till I have it back. If you think you can stop me, then you are sorely mistaken.” A hand appears on my shoulder, Iris, a reminder, I’m not alone in this. “That is what I want.” I say with deadly calm looking back to Julias and Caspar. Caspar seems to have quietened down. His brother taking the rage from him. “You won’t get away with both of us.” He suddenly declares “We are skilled with a blade, and I know martial arts!” “Oh please!” I spit my clam crumbling quickly, “You spend most of your days buried in that pathetic office of yours, your nose buried in books. The only thing that you’re skilled with is flipping a page!” Julias looks directly at Iris his face a perfect example of humanified rage. “What do you want with us?” He snarls at me. “With you?” I gather my rage and smile slightly at his uncomfortable face, good, he’s uncomfortable – probably for the first time in his life. “Nothing. But with you,” I look to Caspar “You are coming with us.”

“No!” Julias’s voice shrieks out. “No!” Beatrice’s grip tightens on him. “Shut up you stupid prince, unless you want a knife though your throat.” She hisses in his ear, Julias falls silent, succumbs to his position. “Why me?” Caspar’s voice travels down the alley. “Why me? And not him?” I smirk. “Because he,” I point at Julias “is insufferable.” I nod to the girls behind me, and they move to detain Julias and Caspar.

“Take him.” Julias has three people holding him back Including Beatrice. They lead a kicking and squealing Julias down the alley, telling him to shut up several times. “Lovely to see you again Julias!” I call out.

Once Julias is out of sight I turn back to Caspar. “Sorry about that.” I say, “Wait… yep, no not sorry at all about that.” I smirk, pulling my mask back over my face and yanking my hood up. I motion to the girls, “Let’s go. We’re done here.” They each start to move tying a gag around his mouth. The girls shove him along, with Genevieve’s knife at his throat, being the only thing that has him moving of his own free will.

We move quickly taking backstreets and avoiding the festivities as much as possible. The rest of the crew joins us as we near our destinations. Caspar cooperates until he sees the boat. Then he starts struggling to get free, yelling beneath the gag, it didn’t matter about the knife anymore he was moving regardless, so Genevieve had to tie his hands behind his back. He was still yelling and struggling when we arrived on the dock when a grating laugh rang out behind us. Damnit. Jerrisan. The girls with Caspar move him onto the boat for more safety, they watch with Caspar. The rest stay with me to face Jerrisan. “Well, well, Aurelia. It seems you’ve finally moved up to the big dogs.” He chuckles, his voice like stone on stone, it makes my skin prickle. I hate him. Hate him. “Really?” I ask my voice light, nothing to hint at the rage rolling beneath my skin, “How’s that?” “You’ve finally got some high value cargo.” He motions to Caspar. “Okay, and?” My voice drops a bit. “What are a group of pathetic girls doing stealing a prince of Nystra and Ziivera?” “The same thing you and your delinquent children do.” I shoot back. “Stealing.” Jerrisan bristles at the insult. “Would your dear Mother approve of this?” His voice is gravely “You know, the whole stealing prince’s thing?” I wanted to scream. How dare he bring my mother into this, the mother who sacrificed everything for me, who died instead of me. How dare he. Swords unsheathe at my sides ready to pounce at my order. I raise a hand to stop them. The girls pause, not moving. Jerrisan smiles at their reactions. “My mother,” I say deadly calm “Was the one who, told me to do this.” My fury waiting, wanting to lash out. But I simply said, “If we’re done here, I have places to be.” And with that I turned and walked on board the ship. “Piss off Jerrisan you and your group of pretty little girls can go find someone else to bother.” The girls follow me onto the boat. Blaire undoes the ropes holding the ship and leaps on board as we prepare to leave. Jerrisan seems to have had enough of a spat and turns to leave letting at stream of curse words out, most directed at me. I smile and give him a vulgar gesture as he stalks away.

Once he and his gang are out of sight, my girls get to work. They lock Caspar into the captain’s quarters. They all gather on the deck as I stand on the railing so they can see me. “Girls,” I call out “What we are about to do, is going to be dangerous, life threatening. If you don’t want to risk that, now is the time to say so. There will be no anger towards you, and you will still be accepted when we return. So, if any of you don’t want to risk this you can leave now.” I stood there waiting, expecting, for someone to move to leave. No one did. “We’re with you Aur.” Blaire’s voice called out. “Now stop being dramatic and get down here.” I smile and jump down. “Well then, my precious court, who’s ready to commit some serious crimes?” I grin. We’re in this together. “Pvet” I yell. “Dosta!” They chant back. “Let’s get moving then!”

We were well out of port by the time it happened. The sun was rising. Festivities over. I stood on the deck hanging over the rail looking back to Edgefall when the bells rang out. Even though we were further enough away not be noticed. I could still hear them, clanging in the early morning. The king must’ve been missing something very dear to him if he rang that bell. You wanted battle your majesty?

Well, here is my move, your turn.

~~~~~~~~

here you go imma spam with the chapters now

emsies this is so good i love this so much i love you sm and i love your book sma dn i love your talent sm

[deathfavor]

@ephemeralshot said: Michael felt his eyes sink into the ground as he listened. Arms wrapping around him in a pathetic hug to himself as he found himself wavering. He says they haven’t changed but Michael has changed a lot. Back then, he still felt hope, he even smiled. When he and Lucifer squabble, he had sensed it was more than simply wishing to illicit a reaction out of him.

Michael could understand the loneliness, the way Lucifer’s light outshined his own even long after he had been casted out. It didn’t make it better, it made it all worse. It hurt deeper than he ever imagined. Ironic how the one Michael wished to be like was just as lonely if not lonelier. Were they simply doomed to be miserable?

Heaven was his home, it was where he belonged and yet he felt alone amongst the other angels. God only ever spoke orders in his ears, and duty was all he knew. All the other angels would only ever gawk or steal glances at Lucifer. When he wasn’t locked away in the throne room. Many too afraid to speak to him. Michael hadn’t really thought too hard on it until now. He assumed it was the respect the bringer of light was owed. The morning star. Was it because Michael and Lucifer were the first that he had been able to speak to him in the way that he did? Unafraid to lash out, or fight back?

“So you liked when I yelled at you?” Michael asks, snowy white bangs falling in front of his face as he hide the small smile that appeared on his lips. Michael could be more than his anger, but it was much like natures wondrous encounters. Rare and sight to behold. Often times his anger was what showed what he was feeling deep inside. The grief he held for a father who didn’t listen, anguish, hatred and love for a brother who stood on the opposite of him now. “Is that all you want to know?” He asks quietly, his red gaze turning slowly to meet the pair of golden eyes watching his back.

Lucifer can see Michael trying to embrace himself, wrap himself in a self-soothing gesture that he would never let anyone else see. A part of him yearns to reach out...but what good will it do if it only makes Michael flinch away or shut down further? He's finally saying something, and perhaps it is best to give him the space to process it in a way that Michael needs to. Fingertips press against the starry fabric at his side, keeping his hands close to him.

" I liked it better when you'd brush my hair under that tree, even if you were often scolding me on napping or being out there rather than being early to an event. " It had never mattered. In fact, Lucifer's slight delay always had more people flocking to see his dazzling entrance whenever he would eventually appear. No matter how much he didn't want to be there, he would for Michael's sake or the others. He was God's right hand, it was something that was never to be forgotten. It still wasn't, Lucifer had been the one and only. To this day he carries secrets known to no other. " But yes. I suppose I did. It was new. I liked getting to experience what others did, if only for a moment. Only with you. " He's quiet for a moment as he chooses his next words carefully. " it has still always only been you. " Samael understood him too well, and that too was different than the bond with Michael.

Is that all he wanted to know? Lucifer's eyes meet familiar red, lips parting yet lingering with rare uncertainty. " I...don't follow. " He admits, draconic pupils searching Michael's face for the answers he doesn't have at his fingertips. " No... " He shakes his head after a moment, taking a few steps closer. The limitations of such language would never cease to be a frustration for him, but he's certain that No is the right answer. That's not all he wants to know. " If you mean your anger, no. It's not. " This time there's firmer conviction as Lucifer seems to slot together pieces and concepts of what has been said.

It would be better if it were another though. This Lucifer knows. Because Lucifer will not always be there, and they stand on sides of a line that Lucifer will die before crossing over. His freedom, his free will, that is his. He has ripped it from God's hands and burned and fallen for it. No matter what Michael could say or do, no matter what what beautiful picture he could conjure....it would not happen. Lucifer will not beg for forgiveness, he will not condemn that which he feels is right. And Michael....Michael should never fall. No matter if Lucifer might finally feel he is not alone, soaring miles above anyone else. No matter if it meant company. He does not think Michael could endure it, nor Heaven itself

" But what is it you want, Michael? " Lucifer asks, softer. Do you want me to anger you till you feel nothing but hatred and contempt? What is it that you want of me? A feather falls, dispersing into gold dust the moment it falls upon the earth, Lucifer lets a quiet sigh slip past his lips, and then crosses the space to press a butterfly soft kiss to Michael's forehead. He demands nothing more, takes nothing more. Only gives before he steps back, proud wings folding themselves smaller once more.

[theficblog]

HEARTS [chapter four]

CHAPTER FOUR: TWISTS AND TURNS

Pairing: Jeno x Reader + Jaemin x Reader  [ ft. Haechan, Jaehyun, Taeyong]

Prologue: Jeno comes back and so do your feelings for him, but at the same you don't want to break Jaemin's heart until you finally make up your mind with some help.

Genre: Angst +  Arranged Marriage AU

Wordcount: 3,313

Warnings: Very slight violence + Crying

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Revealing the truth might turn out to be the best option at times, and even though one heart breaks, it’s perhaps the only way the other ones can survive. 

"What are you doing here?" You waited for the boy in front of your sight to revert back After brazenly looking at him for a minute or so.

"I could ask you the same." He questioned back instead of answering, his eyes were not watery this time, nor were his brows furrowed, all he wore was a smile, not the one you would want to see.

It was a grin of acceptance for his suffering, and it concealed the tears he was holding back like the last time.

"If this is your way of trying to come back then let me tell you it won't work." You blurted it out. "Haechan asked you to come here, didn't he?"

"Can you not stop assuming things for once?" He was subtle but stern, this Jeno certainly lacked the warmth in his voice from before. 

He simply wasn't the same.

"I had no idea I'd see you here and if I did, I would dare not come in the first place." He declared and started walking ahead, brushing past your shoulder creating a fraction of physical contact.

He would not have gone three steps ahead when you heard the footsteps halting. "And just so you know, it was you who chased me around the campus.

“Y/N please just leave me alone." He was harsh.

"What do you want me to do?" You yelled, without turning back to face him as the two of you stood with your backs facing the others. This was followed by a moment of deep silence, giving room only for the poolside night bugs to sing their daily anthems. 

"Just when I thought I don't care about you anymore, you show up. Just when I thought I loved you, you go away." The sniffs revealed the pouring deluge of misery as you yelled nonstop.

"I'm not saying that it's your fault, but don't you have a heart and mouth of your own too? Do you like being heartbroken that much? You don't even know what's going on with my life, you think I like being miserable?"

However, the opposite side made no comment.

"It's all my fault for falling in love with you, Jeno!" You cried.

Another period of stillness followed.

"Everything I had imagined shattering in front of my eyes like broken glass left me with no choice but to stare at the fracturing lines of fate."

The fact that you loved Jeno and that he loved you could never be denied under the sun, regardless of the timing or how you two were too stupid to understand and accept your feelings. In the valley of your dreams, roses were blooming, and they were sputtering day by day as though they had been drenched with fire. The ashes of burned roses were never a favourite.

"Please don't tell me you're not even here. God, I don't want to make a fool of myself again." You yelled for the last time.

Just then you started to hear sounds, sniffing and whimpering. 

"I did not go anywhere." Jeno's broken voice stated.

"I-" He took a long pause. It broke your heart to see him cry like that again. Jeno took a deep breath.

"I can't go anywhere." He cried. 

"You're pathetic!" You cursed gently, attempting to cease your tears.

"You're even more!" He reciprocated the feeling.

At the same time as you, Jeno turned around to face you. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were puffy and streaming with tears—not different from yours.

Without saying even a word, he walked towards you. You did the same. You hated him so much. You loved him so much. 

He delicately touched your red cheeks while wiping away the tears with his thumbs. You remained motionless as you stood there. You and he only needed to make eye contact for it to be said—some things are better left unsaid. Before Jeno spoke, the scene was silent for around a minute.

"I-" He began. 

"I'm sorry that I love you." You finished it. 

Jeno nodded, sobbing. 

The eyes that captured your heart and contained a thousand promises today just held tears and more tears; you could never win in front of those eyes.

You immediately threw your arms around Jeno's waist as he bent his head down and placed his lips on your forehead. He was compassionate; you could sense both love and suffering in him. Your tears, which were still flowing nonstop, were kissed as he carefully traced his lips down your face.

The impulse inside you made you grab his face and smash your lips on his. It was not like the last time; angry and rough, but a type of kiss you had never shared before. One filled with both, love and pain. You felt like holding Jeno so close to your heart that no one could ever take him away from you.

There was a sudden noise from behind the bushes again, as though someone had passed by. The two of you halted for a second, looking in the direction but then returning back to the business.

Sometimes love was not caring about the world.

-

"You could have told me this before!" You complained to Haechan the following morning.

"I did but you shut me up using the f-word and gambling with fate philosophies. Let me at least take a shower now." He replied. His eyes were not fully opened, and his hair defied gravity. Even before he opened his eyes, you broke into his room.

"Your best friend is in the middle of a love crisis and all you are caring about is a goddamn shower." You protested, placing your hands on his shoulders and forcing him to sit back down.

"It would have been easier if you hadn't kissed him as you said." He spoke forth his thoughts.

You sat next to him and said, "I fucked this up."

"We'll fix it." He put his hand around your shoulder, rubbing it and comforting you.

"Hang on! What on earth is he doing here?" The question came to your mind out of the blue.

"I don't know either." He replied.

"Don't tell me he is related to Jaemin." You panicked.

"Chill. I know for sure that they don't even know about each other." The boy reverted again.

"I lost control but I almost got over him." You exhaled.

"This is what I felt about Olivia." Haechan said.

"She was literally a random foreigner you hooked up with you fucker!" You jokingly hit his head.

"Give me the full story, without leaving out any details." Haechan turned his head towards you, this was probably the first time you saw him this serious about something in life.

-

"Good Morning! Y/N!" Jaemin pulled out a chair for you at breakfast and greeted you with a big smile.

"Jaemin!" You greeted him back, thanking him.

You were unsure of how to respond, so all you could think about was the food on your plate. The events of the previous day had been so intense that you were completely dazed.

Jaemin started the brief exchanges in between, and all the conversing you did was circle back to them. He held such pure stars in his eyes and every time you made eye contact you could not help but feel guilty about what you did last night. He was the man you were going to marry, and he had done nothing to earn the desire of your heart for a third man.

"They look so perfect together. Destined." Jaemin's father complimented from the other side of the table at the sight of his son and you.

Jaemin flushed nervously and averted his eyes at those words, and you grinned broadly. It wasn't until you turned to face your mother, who was only threatening you with her glare, that you returned Jaemin's gesture.

"Their wedding is going to be the talk of the town." Your mother commented.  "It's such a pleasure to see this!" Another woman joined. 

During the dull chat, your eyes drank in the scene around the table. Everyone, including your future family, was under your observation.

Your eyes fell on Jaehyun. Instead of being the older responsible male who was always sought after for suggestions by the parents, he was only a normal man today. He was not lifting his eyes and he had been quiet all of the time. Maybe all these events were reminding him of his past.

While Mark just nodded in agreement with everything stated, Haechan had an earpiece in one ear and could not have given a damn about it. The mothers and aunts gushed about the new pair but your and Jaemin's fathers simply discussed how this marriage would help their business.

Although there were a tiny fraction of people you were still not familiar with, one of them stood out.

His physique, angular features, and gentle eyes gave you a strong sense of familiarity. You were certain that you had seen him previously, possibly only a short while before.

His posture and body language were quite similar to your brother's because he was sitting on the chair exactly next to his. He was also having trouble speaking. It seemed as though he joined the family here today for you had not seen him in the past days.

"Sometimes they are a little too much. I hope it's okay with you." Jaemin gently interrupted you, jolting you out of your reverie.

"It's okay. Simply put, they are enthused about it." You gave him a comforting grin in return.

-

Sloth was brought on by the slumberous midday hours. For getting closer, the boys had left to play golf, leaving you and the ladies alone. You made the decision to visit Daeun because you were bored. Her innocence and cuteness would wipe away the negative feelings.

You noticed discussions coming out of a room as you passed through a corridor on your route.

Eavesdropping was not the intention but you could not ignore and walk away when the topic of the conversation was you.

The mothers were talking about the future of their kids, specifically about you. They discussed a wide range of topics, including jewellery and bridal gowns, which seemed perfectly natural to you.

However, your future mother-in-law didn't hesitate to convey her eagerness for a grandchild. You felt stunned. Jaemin was someone you hardly knew, and having a child with him was not your first thought. Despite the fact that Jeno's return made your heart race, you still decided to shake it off for the sake of your family's reputation, this was a bit too heavy for you to take in.

"I'm confident Y/N will be a wonderful wife to my son!" She exclaimed with a grin audible in her voice to which your mother expressed gratitude. 

"And this is what the daughters do!" She continued. "I can sit back and unwind knowing that my daughter-in-law will look after my family." His mother only seemed modern in appearance.

Were raising kids and looking after their families and husbands the only duty of a woman? Did women only belong to the kitchen? Why did the parents spend a fortune on their daughter's education if getting them married to well-off families was their only intention? 

You were on the verge of breaking down. A part of you wanted to rage inside and let it all out but you knew it would mould things for the worse. You had dreams like any other kid and they were being crushed, for the hundredth time. Even the air of the twenty-first century could not wipe out the stinky mindset of the Victorian era. You thought of people who had it worse than you, you were subjected to more horrible things. You thought of the ladies in your family who were the crowns that were weighing them down day by day. Marriage would automatically give the husband a sense of superiority over his wife. 

Even though Jaemin seemed different, the overall situation would still stay the same. 

Two years ago when your cousin Doyoung got married, his wife met with the same fate. No matter how much he tried to stand up for the right thing, any voice that was raised for the woman was crushed down by the shackles of society. You could picture all of this happening to you.

Life was fucked up.

You held back your tears and started running back to your room. 

"Y/N?" Haechan called out your name from the back upon noticing you. It must have been time they returned back.

"Not right now." Your want to cry muddled your speech.

Haechan knew you long enough to get an idea of what you were going through.  He immediately engulfed you in a bear hug and the warmth of it made you break down into tears again. 

"It's okay" He soothed you.

"Your eyes are going to be weak if you cry this much." His voice was softer than the other times. 

"Y/N~" Haechan continued. "Real bitches don't cry!"

He pulled out the hug, bopping your nose. "No more crying."

-

Two days passed and the same gala went on again and again. The vacation was coming to an end and nothing had changed. 

The meal hours were still orthodox as they had been for the past week. Jaemin was still a sweetheart. Jaehyun was still quiet. Jeno was nowhere to be seen, you had not seen him since that night, he was never there when your heart needed him. 

The only thing you could make out about the man from the dinner table was that he was close to Jaemin, but you were still unable to identify who he was. He continued giving you the impression that he knew a lot about you.

Even though you and Haechan were still formulating ideas for what to do next, you opt to brave the rain before they have a chance to be completed.

When the water reached the brim of the bucket, there was no chance of escape.

-

"I don't want to marry Jaemin." You spoke while keeping your eyes firmly on the ground. The only sound in the room was the grand clock's tick-tocking, also be kept in mind that your sudden words left them speechless.

"Do you understand what you're saying?" Your mother laughed, believing you to be making another joke.

"Yes." You said it again. "I don't want to marry Jaemin."

Tension began to build in the air.

"Y/N go back to your room if you are finding it amusing." Your father gave a reply.

"I'm serious. I don't him well, and even though he is perfect I don't think I can work a marriage with him." You said it once more.

"That's what you call giving a chance. You have to give him time." Your mother jumped in to find a conclusion.

"I've given enough already. He is not an issue, but I am unable to do this. Not once did you even ask me!" You began to speak more harshly and loudly, which was unusual, at least in front of the elders.

"Avoid making a scene. Return to your bedroom." Your dad reiterated.

"I won't. I'm here to talk!" You were stern about it.

"I understand that you're acting in the interests of business and society, but at the very least, stop playing games with me—this isn't the seventeenth century!"

Your mother was outraged as you yelled at them, but your father was silent.

"Is this how you are supposed to behave?" Your mother yelled back.

"Yes! I don't want to have a life like yours! There is someone I love!" 

When the terrible truth was revealed in a household where no one had ever raised their voice before today, a hand was raised in response. More often than not, the fact was difficult to accept. Your mother's hand was a few centimetres from your face, and she was already crying. Did you cross the line?

On normal days it would be entertaining to watch a drama-packed scene like this but in reality, there is no thunder cracking or slow-motion replay of such an event, yet you were amazed when her hand did not strike you even after being hung in the air for quite some time. You could not see, for you shut your eyes out of reflex.

It was natural for your impatient eyes to open their shutters after this.

"Do you want her to go through the same things that I did?" Jaehyun spoke curtly, as he ceased his mother's hand that was soon to turn your cheek red. Where did he come from? Why was everyone everywhere? It appeared as though everyone had teleportation powers but you.

"Mom, please!" His voice sounded irritated. 

"I don't want to go about this but then you know what is gonna happen sooner or later. Everyone's fine with me being alone just because I am a man. Have you not thought about Y/N?" 

Your father was still quiet. Your mother was regretting her decisions, both of the present and the past and what Jaehyun was doing today seemed more heroic to you than what he did in school.

Things like these had taken place in your family before, the only difference was this time one was taking a stand for the other.

This time, when her lips pursed in an attempt to speak, your mother's gaze sank to the ground.

"Come with me." Jaehyun held your hand and dragged you out of the room, without saying anything else.

-

"I'm sorry." You were almost inaudible as you apologised to your brother, he handed you a glass of water.

"You don't have to be." He said offering you a comforting smile as if nothing had happened like he always did.

"Why do I keep on ruining everything?" You were frustrated.

"It's okay, I still love you." He used his hand to lift the corners of your lips, making you laugh at the face he made.

He placed his hands on your shoulders next. "Go and tell Jaemin everything." You nodded, it seemed like the right thing to do. He did not fault this at all, and it would hurt anyone's soul to break a heart like his. All he had done was be nice to you.

As you started to walk towards his room, Jaehyun called out again.

"There's no need to listen to them, or any of their bullshit!"

You wore a broad smile as you took steps further.

- You approached Jaemin's door and knocked. He responded quickly and greeted you inside with the same sparkling smile and charisma.

"Is everything okay?" He smiled sweetly as he asked, but to you it seemed a little strange.

"Yeah." You whispered. 

"Yeah, of course, are you busy right now Jaemin?" You said it again with a brighter tone, asking the question at the sight of the same man from the dinner table. 

Being so close to him brought up a memory. It was similar to the instant of abrupt realisation just before it hit you.

Jaemin cut short your eureka moment, "Not at all."

You caught a glimpse of the balcony. It had chairs and a table set with food and wine, that had been left unattended because of your sudden visit.

"Wait!" Jaemin said aloud.

Jaemin pointed to the elder man, who was not much different from him, dressed in a suit, with impeccable hair and exceptionally courteous manners, saying, "I don't think I have introduced him to you." He had eyes that felt as though they were full of stars and a recognisable smile on his sharply defined face. Jaemin introduced Taeyong, his older brother.

Although by then you were already aware of his identity, you chose to ignore it as you gave him a warm and fast welcome before moving to approach Jaemin.

"I have to speak with you."

LET ME KNOW YOUR VIEWS + ALSO SEE : MASTERLIST

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tags: @matchahyuck​

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[frogwithhatto]

Can I ask for a fluffy vessel request plz whether it’s just comforting him or cuddles I don’t mind ur works so good with the iv idea u had !

Say that you will

Pairing: Vesselxgn!reader

Summary: Vessel isn’t doing well and you comfort him.

Tw: panic attacks, fear of abandonment

Notes: This is a lot of angst so beware (pls someone give Vessel a hug) There’s fluff at the end I promise!! I hope you’ll like this anon!! :)

Something was off. You knew something wasn’t quite as usual when Vessel entered the apartment ignoring your greeting and going straight to the bedroom.

Confused as to what was up with him you decide to give him some space to arrive at home before confronting him. Maybe you thought, you wouldn’t need to, maybe he would ask for comfort himself. That’s why you decided to leave him alone for now not wanting to put pressure on him.

You know he had been stressed, well more stressed than usual, the release of the new album coming up and a lot of rehearsals taking place to practice the new songs with the band. But it didn’t seem like it was the stress weighing down his head his shoulders slumped when he had walked in.

Deciding you had waited long enough you get up to go to the kitchen to grab him a glass of water and a little snack, he probably hadn’t eaten dinner yet.

Getting back to the living room you notice that the bedroom door is no longer closed and instead Vessel is standing in its frame. He looks lost like he entered the room with purpose but forgot what he was planning to do there. You feel a light stab in your chest at the sight.

Carefully moving closer you put down the water and the snack on the coffee table his eyes following your every move, you can’t see them behind his mask but you definitely feel them on you.

As you turn around you notice that he hasn’t moved but he had started fidgeting with one of his necklaces. Uncertain about what to do next you step closer while still minding his personal space. „You okay, love?“ you whisper as if speaking too loud would startle him.

You patiently wait for him to make the next move. Vessel slowly moves closer resting his head on one of your shoulders hands hanging at his sides. You wrap your hands around him lightly rubbing them up and down his back in an attempt to offer comfort. He relaxes a bit small sobs filling the silence as his hands grip at the front of your shirt. Vessel tries and fails to keep it together he has no energy left to keep control of his feelings anymore and he can’t help but feel weak and pathetic.

„It’s alright.“ you whisper. Those words seemed to break down all of the walls he had build up to convince everyone he was fine to make them believe he was just under a lot of stress and nothing else. His body starts to shake, hands twitching as he looses control. It feels as if everything’s happening too fast and too slow at the same time.

It was as if he couldn’t bear his own existence anymore as his knees give in and he pulls you down to the floor with him. You try to support as much of his weight as you can which wasn’t easy given he is taller than you. You feel helpless he has never had a breakdown like this in your presence before. Sure you had comforted each other whenever needed but this, this was different. You had never seen him this miserable before and it scares you that he has been hiding the way he felt from you for this long. You thought he was just stressed but you could tell there was more to this than just stress.

Tremors shake his body his breathing becoming ragged as you make a weak attempt to detach him from your chest and lean him against the wall of the couch.

„O-okay okay Ves? Ves? we can do this alright? I’m just going to get you in a more comfortable position. I’m not going anywhere.“ you pant out and try to move him again. This time you succeed.

It must’ve been reflex as he pulls his knees towards his chest and hugs them close with his arms. Vessel puts his masked forehead on his arms and starts rocking back and forth sobs and whimpers shaking his body. Youcan´t help the twinge of pain you feel at the sight of him he looks so small and fragile all of a sudden.

You kneel down beside him unsure if you should touch him but ultimately deciding against it for now. You don’t know what to do so you just start talking hoping it will help ground him.

„Don’t worry love I’m here, okay? We’re both safe…You’re safe… I’m safe. We’re in our apartment on the floor. This will pass and I won’t leave you alone with your feelings. I promise okay?“ you start babbling away studying his reaction to your words. He lifts his head looking at you through his mask as he struggles to breathe.

You can see the white streaks his tears have left in the black paint creating a pattern. It makes his skin look like black marble. If the circumstances were different you would’ve thought he looked like a fallen god. Beautiful but oh so broken.

You decide to go on „Just focus on me and you, alright?“

You slowly raise your hand in order for him to be able to stop you if needed and take one of his. You can feel him shivering now, his muscles spasming uncontrollably. You rub your thumb over the back of his hand giving him a warm smile. Suddenly Vessel can feel the touch of your hand which pulls him back, out of his fogged mind. He had felt like his body was floating like he couldn’t control his movements which in truth he couldn’t. Somehow your voice mixed with the sudden warmth on his hand grounds him.

„See I’m here with you. You think you can focus on your breathing with me?“ you ask as you hug his hand to your chest whispering „In…hold…out“ repeatedly.

Vessel tries to focus on you, on the warmth and comfort you’re radiating. How he can feel your steady heartbeat through your chest your breathing calm. Devoting all your attention to him, to helping him.

With your help he manages to get his breathing under control. His mind is clearing up again but slight tremors are still shaking his body and he can’t help but feel utter exhausted. His lungs burn and his limbs feel heavy.

„M‘ sorry.“ he mumbles as his head hangs low. His voice sounds raspy and his throat feels incredibly dry. You can clearly hear how tired he must be feeling right now.

„Nothing to be sorry for love.“ you smile as you scoot closer placing a hand on one of his knees to get his attention. „I will be right back I’m just going to get you a glass of water.“ you reassure as you get up and walk towards the coffee table.

Vessel feels awful and once your grounding presence is gone his mind starts racing again. His throat seems to be closing up, anxiety slowly wrapping its grip around him again.

You’re going to leave him now, aren’t you?

Who would want to be with someone like him anyway.

„Ves? You gotta drink something.“ your voice pulls him out of his thoughts and he lifts his head. You gaze at him lovingly lightly putting one of your hands on his shoulder. He chokes out a sob at the sight of you.

He didn’t deserve such kindness.

He didn’t deserve you.

„Love I’m here just take it easy. Can you drink some water for me, hm?“ you ask and he nods taking the glass in his shaky hand. He hastily takes a few gulps the cold water soothing his aching throat and burning body.

Tears are still streaming down his cheeks and you try your best at wiping them away. Ultimately you give up and gently hold his masked face in your hands, he leans into the touch breathing weakly.

„You wanna talk about it? If not I can also offer you a hug or we can get you into bed. Your choice Ves.“ you speak softly.

„Wanna get into bed and then cuddle.“ he murmurs which clearly took a lot of energy for him to get out.

You get up with a nod offering him a hand to pull him to his feet. Vessel doesn’t know how it’s possible but once he’s standing he feels even more tired than before. His legs feel rubbery and he puts his hand around your shoulder for additional support as you both make your way to the bedroom.

It feels like forever until he has finally reached the bed and sink down on the mattress. He can’t be bothered to get under the covers feeling way too exhausted already.

You take his blanket tucking him in and leaving a kiss on his masked forehead which causes him to smile before turning off the light. The moon shines through the half closed curtains lightly illuminating the now dark room as you climb into bed next to him.

„Still want cuddles?“ you ask and he eagerly scoots closer. You’re both facing each other as you wrap him in your arms, one of his hands resting around your hips the other gripping the front of your shirt. Vessel claws at the fabric scared that if he lets go he might loose you. He knows it’s not rational but that’s what his mind is telling him and he’s too tired to resist.

He pulls you impossibly close, the side of his head resting against your chest. You trail your hands up and down his back and he melts at the touch his aching body finally relaxing. He lets out a sigh a feeling of safety and comfort spreading through him.

„I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I-I was just scared to admit that s-something was wrong.“ he confesses his voice cracking toward the end.

„It’s okay love. Talking can be hard, I understand. Just know I will always be there for you if you need me.“ you smile placing a kiss on his shoulder which causes him to let out a low chuckle.

„Can I talk about it tomorrow? M'tired now.“ he mumbles lifting his head from your chest to look at you through his mask.

„Of course Ves.“ you answer as he cups your face with one of his hands. He leans in to place a soft kiss on your cheek a silent gesture of gratitude. His lips linger slightly longer after the kiss as he smiles against your skin.

As he pulls away and moves to rest against your chest again he can’t help but place another small kiss above your heart. Calm descends in the room and you catch yourself drifting off but shortly before falling asleep you can still make out a muffled „I love you.“