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#it makes me want to scream it from a rooftop
crime-wives · 2 months
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“you’re the loss of my life” and it’s two women who were irrevocably, undeniably in love with each other, all while missing their chance over and over and over again.
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fullsundiall · 4 months
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CONNOR MCDAVID, the next next one, mcjesus, the one sent to save a dying team. a boy too young set of with the expectation on an entire sport and country on his shoulders and a c on his chest. the one who keeps pushing past his limits, who’s given everything he is and more to the game and still has not been rewarded.
MATTHEW TKACHUK, the rat, the menace, the son, the one who had been told over and over again that he wasn’t good enough, that he was too mean, to aggressive. the one forced away by the fires of a burning team and who found refuge in the arms of a new one. one who would take him in, make him their own, and make him their leader. the team he brought to new heights, far beyond their capabilities, all the way to the sun until he burned.
IN LESS THEN 3 WEEKS one of these boys will hoist the chalice of champions above their heads and be crowned god.
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mars-ipan · 27 days
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this is gonna sound incredibly virtue signal-y i fear but i have been feeling. so fiercely protective of all the transfems i've ever met lately
#marzi speaks#I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO EARN GOOD BOY POINTS HOLD ON LET ME. EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE#obvs we're in kinda a tense political climate rn#and i'm noticing trends have been getting . increasingly misogynistic lately?#in like . a subtle but for sure still noticeable way#and women are being dismissed and all this awful shit#and ppl are going. completely mask off about it when the woman happens to be a trans gender#and it reminds me of when i was a little girl. and how my mom spent so much time in my childhood#training me to not stand for and take misogynistic bullshit from anyone. and to defend other women too#she taught me to assert myself in professional or academic environments. she taught me to stand proud and take up physical space#once as a kid my great uncle (who's always been a nut) didn't let me come on a fishing trip because i was a girl#when i came to my mom crying about it because i loved boats and fishing and my family she just about murdered him. completely tore into him#my whole life my mom has been there to tell me that people will try to put me down. they will try to overlook me or dismiss me#or make me feel smaller. and if i dare to get too confident i'll be labeled bossy or a bitch#and that no matter what i do i cannot let those pieces of shit win. i cannot let that stop me#and that i'd have to fight so fucking hard for it my whole life and it won't be fair but i will do it because i have no other option#and i'm seeing a lot of transfems having to navigate that now too#but they didn't get the privilege of being trained in this since day 1. they have to figure it out on their own#and the demonization right now is so strong that a single misstep can be. so dangerous#and it makes me so mad. all of that built up anger from every time i've had to learn how to not take misogynistic bullshit comes to a boil#the little girl scout in my brain who grew up forcing people to see that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants fuck you is ACTIVE rn#she's angry. she's so angry. because she's seeing the same bullshit she dealt with in middle school being repeated again#anyways. transfems. i love you so much. you deserve so much fucking better.#i hope you can safely advocate for yourself. until then i will fucking yell and scream from the rooftops because this shit is so unfair#you should be allowed to succeed and you should be allowed to fail. and you should be allowed to take up as much goddamn space as you want#and wear whatever the hell you want. transfems i love you and i am so so angry on your behalf. modern feminism has failed you#and i am going to kill someone over it#remember to be loudly and unapologetically yourself as much as you safely can. do not let them crush your spirit
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orcelito · 2 months
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Did the stuff exchange 👍 that sucked 👍 wahoo
#speculation nation#i was very curt bc i just wanted to get it over with.#kinda wish id given her a piece of my mind but whatever#i did shut the door rather forcefully in her face. which hopefully said plenty.#and then i cried bc it just felt so Cold. a stark difference from the last time i saw her.#man ive come to accept it's probably for the best overall but the suddenness of it still sucks so bad.#also the 'i never actually loved you' thing. what an asshole thing to say.#she also missed one of the stuffed animals and it's one i wanted to have back Especially#bc it's a pair with one that i own. i want my little bee's axolotl friend back And i dont want her owning the other one of a pair.#she seemed to really love this deer before. said it gave her a lot of comfort to hug at night.#so i wanted it back especially too. i dont want her getting any more comfort from my prior affection for her.#i just hope that seeing me reminded her that im a real fucking person that she fucked over.#like yeah shes got her new 'love' yadda yadda yadda but she strung me along for 6 fucking months#then broke up with me over fucking TEXT. saying some incredibly insensitive things as she did so.#even if they were the truth. there are still some things that dont need said i think. especially to someone who has trust issues.#but most of all she shouldve fucking done it in person or At Least on the phone.#i told her plenty already how cowardly and horrible it was for her to break up with me over text#and i want to scream it from the rooftops and carve it into her tires#but i wont. because ive said it enough. and being too destructive wont make anyone happy.#not even me.#it just feels like such an injustice. and i feel so angry and hurt.#i can understand and accept that it's probably for the best that the relationship ended here#but that doesnt make the manner it was done hurt any less.#and jesus i thought i was the asshole for how i broke up with my girlfriend last year. at least i broke up with her in person!!!!#i didnt even get that. what a whole load of bullshit.#anyways im gonna play my samurai game. and focus the best i can on just moving on.
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eijiroukiriot · 2 years
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a merry dynamy to all of you! may the new year contain many more dynamys
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kxllerblond · 4 months
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when i think about 600+ year old clark i just think of this (x) audio. like he's watch everything he was familiar with change and fade away, watched humans destroy their own planet, is watching them destroy more. he's forgotten his mother's features, his childhood home is long gone. there's not even a grave to visit anymore. like he's just so tired and everything is just a cycle and a cycle and a cycle and yet he persists because what else can he do,,,,
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ilmhist · 2 years
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sometimes u just gotta spend a day with the blorbo
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victoriousscarf · 2 years
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This article was from last October and thus does not take the most recent events into account but I often find myself going back to it lately... Excuse me while I also now quote excessively from it below:
ROBINSON
And this helps us to understand the development of Palestinian resistance to this project. Today, this is characterized often as being based on irrational anti-Semitism. But as you point out, when we understand the history of the development of this resistance, we see it differently. There are even early Zionists on the record saying things like I don’t know how you expect the Palestinians to react, they’re going to react the same way every indigenous population reacts when there is a colonial project to impose minority rule. [Ben-Gurion himself said: “If I were an Arab leader, I would never sign an agreement with Israel. It is normal; we have taken their country.”]
...
ROBINSON
There have been many attempts in the United States and Israel to make Palestinians completely unpalatable and impossible offers and then characterize Palestinians as unreasonable, uncompromising “rejectionists” when they won’t accept the offer.
KHALIDI
That’s a trope that goes back to Abba Eban: “Never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity.” There weren’t very many opportunities. There might have been one or two. I talk about the 1939 White Paper. It was a very limited opportunity. The Palestinians, in my view, were very foolish to fail to accept it. There might have been other opportunities. I was involved in the negotiations at Madrid and Washington [in the early 1990s] with an Israeli delegation in which we tried to achieve self-determination and statehood. And that was something that was systematically denied us by the ground rules laid down by the United States at the behest of Israel. The same ground rules ended up governing the Oslo process later on. So there was no opportunity there.
It turns out, I argue in the book, and I’ve argued elsewhere, that the maximum that would be offered, has ever been offered to the Palestinians, is some form of autonomy under Israeli sovereignty with complete and absolute Israeli security control. Israelis would have control of the borders, the airspace, the land, and the water under everything that Israel was willing to offer under every Israeli government. I go into Yitzhak Rabin’s shift in his willingness to accept the existence of a Palestinian people and his willingness to negotiate with the PLO. But even Rabin in his last speech made it very clear that there would never be a Palestinian state.
So self-determination, statehood, and independence are ruled out by the Americans and Israelis, then and now, I would argue. So what are we talking about? You can pick up your own garbage, but we’ll arrest anybody we want, any time we want, to torture them, beat them up, and drag them off to our jails. And we’ll do it to anybody who resists our dominance, and we make all the laws, and you obey our military rules. What kind of “state” is that? That’s not a very good deal.
ROBINSON
Let me dwell on this because it seems critical. To the extent that there has been talk of a “two state solution,” what has actually been on the table consistently in every negotiation for the last 50 years has never involved a concession by the United States and Israel—they negotiate together—that Palestinians should have anything that we would consider to be equivalent to a state in the sense that other states are states.
KHALIDI
The United States talks the talk, but it will not walk the walk. It will never say “this outcome has to include complete and absolute Palestinian independence.” It will never impose that in Israel. It will never lay that on the table as the outcome that has to be reached.
There are some Israeli governments that came closer to this than others. Rabin came closer. But none of them would have accepted the idea that Israel would give up its security control, that Israel would cease to control the borders, that Israel would cease to be the only sovereign power. I mean, if you don’t have your own army and your own borders, and your own economy, and your own ports and your own airports and your own airspace, you’re not sovereign. You’re not independent. You’re a dependent subunit of a larger sovereign state. And that’s all that Israel has so far been willing to offer. The United States has never pushed it to do anything more than what Israel was willing to do. The deference of the United States to Israel is limitless.
...
ROBINSON
When you said the Palestinians are not engaging in terrorism, one important point is that various means of resistance are denied them. You’re very critical in the book of attacks on civilians. But at every stage, the available ways that Palestinians can fight back have been constricted, and those things that horrify us come out of that. 
KHALIDI
I think there’s another point to be made. I argue in the book that various forms of armed action, including, especially, attacks on civilians, are horrific, immoral, and, very importantly, politically counterproductive. I go into this in some detail at one point in the book. But it has to be said that slaughtering civilians is slaughtering civilians. When Israel kills 16 children and five women in Gaza, using 2000-pound bombs and Hellfire missiles, if you don’t describe that as terrorism, and you describe the death of an Israeli child or an Israeli woman or another Israeli civilian as terrorism, this is Orwellian language. You are simply using the word “terrorism” as a bludgeon to demonize Palestinian resistance, whereas somehow the murder of children in Gaza … 16 kids were killed in these attacks, five women were killed in these attacks. Heaven knows how many other civilians were killed. Maybe a dozen militants were killed? I don’t know. But 30 or so civilians were murdered. If that’s not terrorism, then the word has no meaning. And this happens every single time. There were 240 civilians killed in one of these attacks a few years ago. Each time the toll is equally lopsided. Why are attacks on civilians not considered terrorism? If you use the same measure, I have no problem with the use of that term. But then you have to describe the use of Hellfire missiles and F-16s and heavy artillery in the same way. In the book I go into the kinds of weapons that are used by Israel— the artillery, the missiles, the aircraft, the helicopters—and the indiscriminate nature of the attacks on a population of a couple of million people in a tiny area. If that’s not terrorism, I don’t know what is. But of course, the term is only applied to the Palestinians. Somehow Ukrainian resistance is not terrorism yet Palestinian resistance is. I repeat, I think the killing of civilians is wrong and immoral. It’s a violation of international law. But if that’s true for the Palestinians, certainly it’s true for the Israelis as well and on a much larger scale.
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hellfireeddiemunson · 2 years
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i am simply going to kill myself because my brother listened to my snapchat out loud in front out our mother and aunt and now both those bitches are fucking babying me
#yes! i had a fucking breakdown earlier bc i spilled food and ketchup all over my comforter and i was upset about everything#but don’t fucking look at me like a dying fucking kitten and go ‘are u doing better🥺🥺’ like i was but now i want to die bc ur looking and r#and speaking to me like that i am not a fucking baby and i’m not going to fucking explode at you either like that. isn’t how i act or react#so fuciing. just shut the fuck up dude idc if ur trying to be caring or whatever the fuck i’m not a BABY#I woke up from my nap and went to pee and my aunt and mom are like omg r u ok are u better than earlier did u have a good nap#like CAN OTU SHUT UP PLEASE I JUST FUCKING WOKE UP I DONT WANT TO S P E S K SND I DONT WANT TO BE SPOKEN TO BUT EXPECIALLY NOT IN THE SAME#TONE THAT YOU TALK TO BABIES AND CHILDREN IN LIKE WHAT THE FUCK I AM AN ADULT#LITERALLY. 25 YEARS OLD I WANT TO HIT YOU BOTH FOR NEVER LEARNING TO SPEAK TO ME PROPERLY EVER!!!!!!!!#and i’m fucking annoyed with my brother i fucking hate that he just listens to and replies to videos on snapchat out fucjing loud in front#of literally everyone and anyone he simply doesn’t give a fuck as if i don’t say some fuck shit or whatever the fuck to him what is WRONG#WITHYOU FUCK#like what if i was shit talking our mom or something ??????? fucking christ i’m so annoyed what the fuck i hate this shit i’m so :|#i woke up wanting to be in a good mood and vibe until i have to go to actual sleep but instead i’m in a bad fucking mood again. thanks guys!#fucking looooove it so much i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to find something to actively stop making me angry bc i’m like. going to ruin my own night if i don’t#also i FUCKING woke up with FUCKING acid reflux i want to scream from the rooftops so fucking bad#anyways i guess i’ll go look at abby or something idfk
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kalach-cha · 2 years
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daily reminder to NEVER FUCKING POST PHOTOS NEXT TO YOUR HOUSE
#god some of y’all have NO self-preservation when it comes to online privacy#even your first name can be a risk. people can and WILL find everything they can about you so make sure you protect yourself#for the love of god delete accounts you don’t use anymore#don’t put your face where you say dumb shit you may later regret. i saw a tiktok of one of my friends jokingly saying kys about discourse#THAT SHIT WILL NOT FLY IN 10 YEARS. not to sound like a gen xer BUT IT WILL HAUNT YOU#never give out your insta to people you meet online if it has your face and location#please please please do not tie your art to both your irl and your online self unless you are prepared to face it in 10 years#don’t put your last name anywhere. if you need to give one use one of a relative. preferably one that’s common#my last name is ridiculously rare so you’ll never see me post about it#don’t fucking put your name anywhere online if you’re a registered voter in the us because YOUR ADDRESS IS PUBLIC#your BIRTH RECORDS ARE PUBLIC. your MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE RECORDS ARE PUBLIC#if you can find anything remotely incriminating on whitepages just do a full wipe of your socials and start again#i’m begging y’all please be careful. and if you ARE planning to meet someone you know online#make sure you always have as much if not more info about them as they do about you#i know it sounds shitty but always have some kind of leverage because situations like that can go bad fast#also be careful of which irls you talk about to online people because you don’t want to put them at risk accidentally#i’m screaming from the rooftops THIS GENERATION HAS NO STANDARD OF PRIVACY. it’s fucking terrifying#michi.txt
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fudanshiatlas · 17 days
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i love him i love him i love him i love him 💓💝💗❤️‍🩹💝💖💗💘❤️❤️💝
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gentil-minou · 1 year
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Everytime I see posts like this I get filled with such profound sadness
Cause you know who has the same brainrot as you? The same unhinged feelings as you after you've read the fic? The person who always wants to scream about the fic with you?
THE PERSON WHO WROTE IT
I never used to leave comments but since I got into the habit of commenting on everything i enjoy it's been incredible. Especially when the author gets back to me about it and we get to have a discussion of what other ideas they had. One writer replied to my comment with a 5 paragraph essay detailing the Floorplan of the building the characters lived in and it was incredible
Anyways this is all to say that if you find a fic that just makes you want to scream from the rooftops, leave a comment saying that to the author and maybe they will join you and you can scream incoherently together
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sleep-deprived-person · 7 months
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So apparently KOSA (2024 edition) is getting either thrown out until next year or put into effect in six days. That was a guesstimate based on a different person saying that's when Congress is back in session and may be false.
Update that's going in the main post at the top: it has enough support to pass Congress.
It failed the last two times because people were voting against it.
This time, KOSA has traction among the pro-LGBTQ parties. Because nobody is fucking calling their bullshit and screaming from the rooftops that calling it the "Kids Online Safety Act" is misleading.
What will it passing do?
Nothing much, only prevent any education on LGBTQIA+ (it's that stupid fucking argument about us grooming kids again), shut down nearly every fandom space on the internet, and make it required for most big tech companies to have your ID.
Want to have resources for kids to discover their identity readily available? Yes? Then fucking speak up against this stupid fucking bill.
Fandom spaces like Tumblr, Twitter (? I thought the MAGA assholes liked Musk?), Tiktok, Archive Of Our Own, and any other website that hosts fanfic or fanart? Either shut down permanently, forced to uproot to a different country and down for a while (best case scenario, and they likely won't be able to send any data, and therefore fanfics, to the US), or gutted so that you only get to put G rated cishet ships on there, if any shipping at all. How to avoid that? I've already said it: Call your fucking representatives.
Want to avoid the fucking dystopic task of being legally obligated to give big tech your government issue ID? Again, cause an uproar. Call your goddamned representatives.
If they can pass this, the ripple effects could be catastrophic.
So, for fuck's sake, any Americans that can impact this stupid fucking bill and see this? Do everything in your power to shut it down because you have until February twenty sixth (26th) to send this bill back to where it belongs.
And if you can't do that? Reblog, copy my tags, and boost the signal.
Sorry not sorry for ranting, making you scroll through that, and swearing a probably excessive amount, but KOSA is a bill with a GLOBAL IMPACT being passed by ONE COUNTRY because some old people are scared of two guys with who were told they were girls kissing within five hundred miles of a child. Fuck this shit, I shouldn't have to worry about bad bills in America but I fucking do because I use the internet and would like to avoid mass censorship. Fuck this, fuck conservatives, and fuck the fact that some boomers make your country's policies.
Now, if you won't mind me, I'm going to be up until three in the morning downloading fanfiction or copying and pasting them into a a text file if I can't so I can read them by the end of the week.
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writing-fanics · 8 months
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don’t mess with the devil
Part ii
Lucifer Morningstar x Reader
[warning: angst: mentions of death: death?]
Your movements became sluggish. The wound on your side bleeding more and more with each movement, and swing of your angelic weapon. “Can’t even hold a weapon.” Adam mocked, as she glared at him. Already tired and she looked down at her wound. “Who would’ve thought a fucking human, making a deal with the devil.”
“Was it for dick? It was for dick wasn’t it?” Adam laughed, and mocked. You let out a battle cry flying towards him.
You screamed in pain, as the yellow light shot right through your wing. Your wings started going weak, as you struggled to keep up with Adam’s attacks. He laughed and cackled, taking enjoyment in your struggle.
“Where’s your little boyfriend huh?” He mocked, as more and more yellow shots kept hitting your body. Until you could barely keep your body up, “awe, is he not coming to scared to show his fa-”a fist punched, Adam in the face. Causing him to let go of your chin, but you didn’t fall instead.
A pair of familiar arms held you, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t be here sooner,” said Lucifer, as he nuzzled his head against his partner. Then lifted his head and glared at Adam, eyes fuming with rage.
“Sorry, for being so stubborn.” You mumbled, knowing this was the reason he didn’t want you to fight. Even though, he gave you some of his powers. You were still a human. He nuzzled, his head against yours once more. “It’s okay,” He said, as he landed on the rooftop.
He handed you off to Charlie, his daughter taking your injured body into her arms. She looked down at you worriedly, as you took shallow breaths. Your face battered cuts and bruises covered your face, and your right eye was swollen. Landing on the rooftop, walking towards Adam.
“Huh? Okay? Seriously?” Adam panted, as he stood up slowly. “How many of you freaks do I have to fight?!” He shouted, glaring at them.
Lucifer rolled up his sleeves, as he walked towards Adam. “Oh, I’m the only one that matters.” said Lucifer, as he looked up at Adam angrily.
“See, you messed with my daughter and my partner.” his eyes burning with rage. “and now I’m toning to fuck you!” he shouted, and everyone went silent as they stared at him dumbfounded.
Charlie leaned over, “It’s fuck you up dad?” Charlie whispered, and he looked confused as he raised his eyebrow, “Wait what did I say?” He said, and then Adam flew towards him sending them both into a wall. But Lucifer transformed into a white snake.
You could barely keep your eyes open, as the pain became worse. You didn’t know how much blood you were losing, but knew it was a lot. You were just a mere human, a human who fell in love with the king of hell. Him inevitably giving you some of his power in an act of love.
Your memories of how you ended up in Hell, a blur. You still figuring out a way to at least see your family again. But now that seemed to be in vain. You wondered if this was how it was going to end for you. You wondered, what would happen to you a human dying in hell?
Would you be dead forever no second life? Or would you just enter purgatory?
“So, this is what you’ve been up to since Eden?” said Lucifer, taunting him.
“Gotta say, you really let yourself go buddy.” He said, as he taunted Adam.
Adam laughs, as he grabbed Lucifer by the tail. “You judgin’ me?” He shouted angrily, as he tried to throw him. But he transformed again, this time into a duck. “You’re the most hated being in all of creation.” Adam shouted, angrily looking at him.
“Well, your first wife didn’t seem to hate what I had to offer.” said Lucifer, as he made a V shape with his fingers and dragged it downward from his mouth.
“or the second.” He said looking Adam straight in the face, “Bow-chicka-wow-wow.” He said, as he backed away making a thrusting motion with his hips. Adam lunched at him, and Lucifer transformed into a horse. Kicking him around, “I’ll fuckin’ end you!!” Adam shouted.
Your vision started to blur, as you leaned your head against the wall You didn’t want to die not like this, not without seeing your parents again. Wondering if they’re worried about their missing child, who they haven’t seen in almost a year.
You’ve been stuck in Hell for that long. Lucifer and You, still figuring out a way to get you back. But you always promised that you’d stay in Hell with him, and visit your friends and family once in a while.
Maybe this was to be your fate, dying in Hell. Where would your soul go? You couldn’t imagine the heartbreak your death would bring to both, Charlie and Lucifer. You couldn’t bear the thought of seeing them cry, you’ve grown to love them so much. Seeing Charlie as a child of your own.
Lucifer your partner. The best thing to ever come out of being trapped in Hell. He was so kind and caring, when he found out about your situation. Wanting to help you anyway he could, which led him to falling in love. How his heart swelled whenever you smiled at him, turning his cheeks red.
How seeing you cry made his heartache, knowing you missed your family and friends back on earth. How when that ‘Red Bastard’ at the Hazbin Hotel, took your hand and kissed him while staring mockingly at Lucifer. Boiled his blood.
A smiled grew across your lips, as you grew tired. You were too tired to even notice the beam of light, heading straight towards the hotel. Towards you. Everything went dark.
Y/n?
Y/n?
Y/n!
who’s calling my name?
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strwberri-milk · 2 months
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Hiiii, can I request how will LaDs boys react when reader got angry with them (at some event there was a misunderstanding or some other problem) and at home she continued to be angry with them (or even ignore them)
AHHHh ngl this is one of my favourite tropes i just like being comforted but realistically pls!! communicate w your partners i dont know how many times i have to scream that from the rooftops!!! also this bitch is LONG also i love. jealousy unfortunately so all of this is like. miscommunicatoin mixed w jealousy!!
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Zayne immediately clocks your abnormal behaviour before you even realise how angry you are at him. The only reason he does so is because he's hyper aware of the way you act around him because of how much he cares about you, trying to figure out if there's something he can do to try and keep things from getting worse.
However, being at a party with all of his colleagues trying to talk to him about his latest research does make it quite difficult. You're also fielding some questions yourself - primarily ones about your relationship with Zayne. People can't help but be curious about the type of person Dr. Zayne is interested in and you do your best not to let your anger bleed out.
You manage to last until the two of you are heading home, getting into Zayne's care. It's then that you just totally deflate in his presence, looking out the window and ignoring him as he drives the two of you home. He watches out of the corner of his eye as you fiddle with your hands, clearly wanting to say something to him but stopping yourself short.
He doesn't want to force it out of you but also wants you to talk to him. He ends up deciding to let you have your time on the car ride and when the two of you get inside he tells you that he understands you're upset, but he wants you to tell him about it. If you refuse to talk to him right away he understands, forgoing giving you any affection in case you don't want it as he starts getting ready for bed.
You come to bed a little restless, Zayne also unable to sleep as you're on his mind. He turns to face your back, wanting to reach out but failing to. You refuse to look at him, knowing that you'll just crumble and you want to have the upper hand, even just for a minute longer.
"Just explain to me what's wrong. I can't help you if you don't tell me," Zayne asks again, sounding a little more frustrated.
You remain on the bed, pulling the blanket higher over your shoulders as you continue to give him the silent treatment. You don't want to cave but when he kneels in front of you, looking directly at you to force you to stop ignoring him you sigh loudly and sit up.
"I'm allowed to be mad at you," you say with a huff, Zayne nodding in agreement.
"I didn't say you aren't. I'm asking you to explain to me why you're made so I can fix it."
You curse internally at how quick he is to accept blame and jump to making you feel better. The guilt of ignoring him when you know how badly he just wants to make you happy starts to kick in. You hug your arms to your chest, bringing your knees up as you avert his gaze.
"One of the doctors said they went to school with you. They were...they said that all you did was talk about how you went to med school because of one of your friends. They told me that they always thought that you'd end up dating that person instead of me because of how sweetly you spoke of them."
He nods in understanding, coming to sit next to you on the bed. You slide over to give him some room, leaning into his touch when he puts his arm around you. You can't deny how much you've missed him, finally looking up at him. He has a smile on his face, that teasing look that warns you he's about to embarrass you, just a little.
"You don't remember, do you?" he asks gently, hugging you as he laughs a bit.
"What? Remember what?" you pout.
"It was you. You're the one they're talking about."
You feel your face flush with embarrassment, realising the object of your jealousy was just...you.
"I never got around to telling you but seeing how sick you were when you were younger made me want to study medicine to help out other children like yourself."
He tells you a little more about his journey through med school and how you were basically his inspiration. Listening to him talk about you like this now you can understand why his colleague thought he was in love with that figure, coming to terms with the fact that it's you.
By the time he's done you've basically just melted into a puddle in his arms, no longer needing his reassurances at the moment that he loves you and only you.
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Everybody at the Hunter's Association knows that you and Xavier are dating. When you two made it official half of the office told you it was about time while the other half gushed about how cute the two of you are together. Things between the two of you don't change that much at work as you both understand it's important to keep things professional.
It's become such common knowledge that you've gotten to the point where you just assume that everyone knows you two are dating. If you ever get new hunter trainees the others usually fill them in on the office romances as fun little gossip, hence why you were confused when one of the newest recruits was getting exceptionally handsy with Xavier.
He told you about it the same day as the two were getting lunch, telling you that the new recruit seemed to prefer training with him for some reason. You trust Xavier so you have absolutely no reason to think that anything suspicious is happening, telling him that he's a strong Hunter so you don't blame them for looking up to him.
Xavier doesn't really train new recruits so he's a little out of his depth when it comes to this recruit following him around, trying to get him to let them come on missions with him. He always refuses, talking to their actual trainer and telling them to keep an eye on the new recruit.
However, it doesn't seem to work. They're still following him around, trying to eat lunch with him or supposedly help him with any reports he needs to file. Unfortunately for him, since he's such a high ranking Hunter the work he does completely goes over their head so he gets some peace and quiet from that.
One day you're heading over to meet Xavier for lunch when you see the new recruit hanging off of him. They're hugging him from behind and he's smiling as he talks to them, showing them something on his phone as the two of them laugh together. You feel your heart drop as you turn around, texting Xavier that something came up and you'll have to take lunch way later.
You know avoiding him won't work very well since the two of you live in the same building. There's quite literally no way to sneak out and go home without him because even if you did he could just go up a floor to find you. That means you spend the latter half of your shift trying to think up ways to get home without him confronting you, failing miserably when you look up and see Xavier waiting for you to walk home with him.
"...did I say something?" he asks when the two of you are halfway home.
"You haven't said a single thing to me besides hi. Are you alright?"
You look at him and realises he looks like a kicked puppy, crumbling instantly. You can't be angry at him for long, not when he looks that innocent. You huff and shake your head, crossing your arms.
"What were you doing with that recruit?" you ask confrontationally, making him jump a bit.
You've never taken that sort of tone with him before and he wracks his brain, trying to understand what you're talking about. It takes him a while to respond but you watch as his expression becomes more and more puzzled, clearly not understanding at all what you were trying to get at.
"That new recruit. They were literally hanging off of you and you two were clearly having a great time talking to each other," you grumble, picking up the pace to walk in front of him quicker.
"I - wait, come back!"
He catches up to you immediately, grabbing your hand and turning you to face him.
"What are you talking about? I don't know what you mean," he insists, taking both of your hands in his.
You continue to look at him silently, knowing it was irrational of you but not knowing how else to deal with the way you were feeling.
"They had their arm around your neck. You showed them something on your phone. Don't lie to me - I saw it. That's why I cancelled lunch," you retort, taking your hands out of his as you start walking again.
"It's not what it looked like at all!" he says quickly, keeping pace with your steps easily.
"They banged their knee pretty badly against the table. We were going to go to first aid but they told me to just keep them still and they'd come up to us. I was going to grab them a chair to sit in but they started asking me about you and I got distracted. I was showing them some pictures I took of you on our last date."
You stop suddenly, Xavier bumping into you at the unexpected move.
"And I should just believe you?" you bite, wanting to stay angry but knowing there's ultimately no point.
Xavier's literally never lied to you before and his story made sense, you guess. You're still a little upset, going home without him and telling him you just want some time to yourself. A couple hours later you get a text from Xavier apologising for not telling you about what happened sooner and for making you upset. You sigh to yourself, knowing that it's unfair of you to hold him accountable for something that's really not his fault.
You end up going over to his place, apologising for acting immaturely. However, you tell him you'd like him to be a little more assertive with boundaries with that specific recruit, knowing it's not his fault but also not wanting them to consistently disrespect your relationship.
He agrees immediately, telling you he was honestly already uncomfortable with the way that they were acting around him. You feel even worse now that he's said that, the fact reinforcing that he really didn't know what to do in the situation. However, he does feel really bad that you feel that way so he spoils you however he can by ordering you takeout and cuddling you up while the two of watch literally anything you want. You won't be able to be rid of him for the next little while but you don't really mind.
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Rafayel's life can be a little messy. You're used to the tabloids saying things about him because he constantly complains about them. He honestly doesn't really mind what they say about him because he's secure in his own identity as his own person - he just hates it when people do interviews based on those false preconceptions. It's the main reason why he'll deny interviews from certain media companies - some of them are worse for it than others.
He's also used to paparazzi, not a stranger to threatening them if they're getting too close on encroaching on his personal property or life. He keeps a very strong divide between the two of them, except when it comes to his relationship status. He doesn't pull you around and show you off constantly but he does make it very clear constantly that he's very in love with you and will happily spend the rest of his life at your feet.
No matter how often people try to bait him into "confessing" that he might have had a passing interest in some model or another painter it all miserably fails. He'll simply compare them to you with a scoff, telling the interviewer that their hair isn't as beautiful as yours is or the way they speak to him just makes him miss how your voice sounds in his ear.
That's why when you walk past a tabloid claiming to photograph Rafayel with a model on his arm you can't help but laugh until you take a closer look. There's no mistaking it - it's some model that he's been complaining about to you. The two of them are leaving Rafayel's favourite restaurant, one he swore up and down he saved only for dates with you.
You want to text him to confront him but decide not to, taking a photo of the magazine for safe keeping. You decide you're not going to talk to him, texting him quickly to tell him that you're too busy to chat during the day today and you'll just come visit him tonight to make up for it. In reality you were just going to spend all day figuring out how to confront him.
When you come over he's just as happy to see you as he normally is. He's a little clingier because you weren't able to text him all day but he sees the look on your face and immediately knows something's wrong. He doesn't know what until you show him the photo that's worked you into a frenzy.
"What - come on, you know that it's a tabloid! No, I'm not cheating on you and certainly not with them!" he insists, crossing his arms as he sees you won't relent.
"Then why lie and tell me that restaurant is just for us when you're going there with your clients too, huh?" you rebuke, pointing at the glowing letters.
"Thomas insisted we meet there! Apparently, they really wanted to try something from there and they refused. I tried to get out of the meeting but Thomas said I can't miss another one. Then, they said they'd pay for my food so I thought I may as well get something out of an awful afternoon."
He looks a little flush himself, getting more worked up as you continued accusing him.
"I wouldn't do that to you. You know that," he implores.
You've been avoiding looking directly at him the entire time, expecting to be even more angry to see some self-righteous expression on his face. When you finally do you're startled by the desperation in his eyes, the way he wants to reach out but falters because he doesn't want to hurt you by just touching you.
"I love you. Nobody else. It's just you, it's always been you," he continues, biting his lip.
"But - the two of you walked out arm in arm," you try weakly, knowing your resolve already cracked at his heartfelt words.
"Because I was grabbed. You don't see the next photo where I take my arm back and practically run into my car because that's not as interesting as me cheating on you."
He sees the tears beginning to well up in your eyes, almost reaching for your face when his hands stop. You nod, unaware that you did until he pulls you into him, pressing your foreheads together as he holds you closely.
"I'd never do that to you. I've spent far too long waiting for you to come back to me."
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Sylus has a lot of competitors and you know he's very busy doing things to keep his prestigious rank of leader of the N109 zone, whatever that may be. He purposefully chooses to exclude you from any dealings that he does, telling you with a kiss on your cheek that ignorance is bliss. If something happened to you because of his lack of care he'd never forgive himself - not that he'd tell you, of course.
You're entertaining yourself as you wait for Sylus to finish one of his last meetings for the day. He sends you a text telling you to come by his office because he's almost done so you make your way there. You can hear his voice through the door when you hear him laughing.
"I'm just having fun, don't worry. It doesn't mean anything at all. No, I'm not afraid they'll find out, I mean, how would they?"
Your heart sinks a little, pressing your ear against the wood as you pray he's not talking about you. The conversation continues in the same direction, Sylus continuing to tell the other person on the line that he's going to enjoy messing with you. You tear up at the realisation that he's just as cruel as people think he is, wondering how you managed to let yourself get tricked by a literal career criminal.
Sylus ends the call and you panic, realising that you're standing here with tears on your cheeks and your clothes fisted in your hands. You're about to run away when he opens the door, dressed in preparation for your date and smiling when he sees you. His brows furrow when he sees the state you're in, about to ask you what's wrong when you just run away from him.
You end up turning into some random room, locking the door behind you as you sit against it. You can feel Sylus beginning to kick it down, yelling loudly that if he even cares a little bit about you he won't do it because you're sitting on the other side. He stops immediately, pacing outside as he tries to figure out what to do.
You hear him leave, sighing in relief as you stand up again. You want to open the door and run out, knowing you could get home without him but also knowing he'd be able to easily catch up as you made the boat ride back to Linkon. Honestly, you were beginning to doubt if you should try to get home when it's as late as it is, the ocean rough with the warning of a storm.
You're in the middle of your deliberation when he comes back, a jingling noise on the other side telling you he found the keys for the room. You gasp sharply, throwing yourself against the door in an attempt to keep him on the other side. He hears it immediately and stops.
"What do you think you're doing?" he asks you through the wood, doorknob no longer jiggling with his movements.
"Sparing you from having to spend another moment with me," you say bitterly.
"What are you talking about?" he sighs.
"Stop being dramatic. Just let me come in and we can talk."
He lightly pushes against the door again, you making a noise of discontent as you hold the knob in place.
"I heard you on the phone!" you finally say.
"I know how you actually feel about me."
The words leave you sounding more broken then you thought they would, biting your lip as you try not to let him know how much it affected you. You start crying quietly again, feeling your heart break.
Sylus gets impatient, unlocking the door and letting himself in. You step back as the door slowly opens, still somehow touched at the consideration he shows for you even though he supposedly hates you.
"Sweetie, are you really letting that cloud your judgement? Did you honestly think that I was talking about you?"
He pulls you into his chest without any complaint from you. You hate how easy it is for him to hold you, burying your face in him as he gently runs a wide palm down your back.
"I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about the twins. They decided to pull a prank on me last week so I decided to get payback on them. It's not like a little trash talk would genuinely hurt their feelings if it got back to them."
"Oh."
You feel so pathetic like this, soaking up all his attention after thinking that he hated you. You don't even want to look at him, clinging to his shirt as though it could rescue you from this atrocity.
"Now come on. Let's get you cleaned up and ready to go on our date."
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mosspapi · 2 years
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My hair is soft for the first time in literal years I could actually cry rn /pos
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