#it makes you uncomfortable for an extremely justifiable reason

[thesunfyre4446]

the way that some people talk about helaena is just disgusting.

you have the people that straight up say that they're looking forward to b&c & don't care about her at all. which is fine i mean at least you're honest (though can't understand why anyone would be looking forward to seeing a 6yo kid get brutally murdered but ok)

then you have the people who try and "claim" helaena as TB. they say that helaena hates her family & her mom & her family is the reason that her life was ruined - and not b&c and maelor's death caused by rhaenyra and daemon. and it's so obvs they're just using that as an excuse to justify their favs horrible actions.

helaena's family did not ruin her life.

in the book it was viserys that arranged her marriage to aegon. so don't go crying in the comments about "the book", in the show the alternative is jace - and alicent was not about to let her daughter become rhaenyra's unofficial hostage. the twins are obvs not 6 and were aged down so show!helaena gave birth prob at 17. (these kids are not 6) by marrying aegon, helaena gets to stay at home with her family.

helaena is not suicidal. there is nothing in the show or the book to indicate that she is suicidal or depressed. she's described as a happy girl in the book and in the show we don't really get a lot of scenes with her but there's 0 indication to her being depressed. helaena committed suicide because of her children's death. the greens did not kill her children.

helaena does not hate her children. literally stfu. you can claim that because she's a teen mom (rhaenyra was also a teen mom but i digress) motherhood is prob not easy for her. but the fact that some people say that she hated her kids as a way to justify b&c is disgusting.

helaena being portrayed as neurodivergent & sensitive to touch does not mean that she can't or doesn't love her family. this take makes me want to scream. one of my best friends is also extremely sensitive to touch. she rarely lets her mom hug her and that's OK. everyone has different boundaries.

stop infantilizing helaena!!!!!!!!!!!!! she's an adult!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and all of these excuses are somehow supposed to make b&c and maelor's death look less bad & daemyra less guilty. oh, daemon had her child brutally murdered before her eye? nah, she hated her children anyway lol rhaenyra drove her to suicide? well, she was always depressed and suicidal so it's not that big of a deal... (and don't even get me started on the "why didn't she just go to rhaenyra on dragonstone" as if she'd ever betray her family & like her own sons weren't also at risk if rhaenyra became queen)

i really can't. mind you, these are the people that scream and cry misogyny but are willing to use another female character in such a cynical and sinister way to justify their favs action. and yes, i'm calling it sinister because it feels VERY sinister. the discourse about helaena makes me so uncomfortable. (and the discourse around jaehaera is also disturbing af)

sorry about the rant.

[myun-saidthoughts]

8TH House Synastry VS 12TH House Synastry

(More Info In my eBook)

The main difference between the 8th and 12th house is that with 12th house synastry, it may be hard for one another to fully know where they truly stand with each other, and the planet person (or the one who has more Pisces/Neptune/12th house influence) might create false narratives or fixate on the desire of saving the house person, and the house person may not know how to respond or won't know how to really articulate how the planet person makes them feel; especially if they feel uncomfortable within their own mind/spiritual self.

12TH House

This post focuses exclusively on a 12th house relationship between two kind and evolved individuals. While there are other darker themes associated with 12th house synastry — such as deception, substance abuse, hidden affairs (like being the other woman or mistress), lies about one partner’s true nature, or fear that one partner is withholding information or their true self — I won’t be discussing those here. I might explore those themes in a future post, as they are important to note, but for now, my main focus will not include those themes.

“Though I barely know you, it feels as if I do. Your eyes and body language seem to speak your thoughts, even the ones I can’t fully grasp. There’s no visible thread connecting us, yet this feeling remains.” — Planet Person

With this synastry, it's likely that the planet person will constantly question and imagine the relationship. It is blurry and somehow the energy between the two of them becomes boundless and confusion can erupt. Both can experience showing up in each others dreams, both can overpower each others thoughts, and they both might find themselves sitting in unexplainable synchronicities that tie themselves to one another.

(Allowing and accepting this energy is the only culprit for deep mutual spiritual occurrences to happen, both parties have to want one another on some level; if not, unrequited love can occur, where one person is emotionally unavailable or distant and the other person has this innate drive to fix, save or love their soul in hopes of healing all of their flaws, which in most cases than not, impossible)

To add, the individual (usually the house person) who struggles with accepting their shadow self may experience a persistent sense that their partner is invasive or somehow withholding important information from them. If they are uncomfortable with embracing this energy, they may perceive it as a violation of their privacy and have an aversion to such intrusiveness from the other person. Now with the other person (usually the planet person) who is more spiritually inclined and open may always question where they stand with them. A part of the planet person is able to just feel how the house person feels (without words) and yet there's no solid, tangible reason to justify or clarify those thoughts or feelings that the planet person has towards them. The house person will ask themselves, "can they actually heal and erase my pain, or will their presence cause me more?"

Both might experience an underlying uncertainty about the true intentions of the other person; making it difficult to discern their genuine feelings or motives. As a result whoever is more affected by this type of intensity might constantly question the authenticity of their relationship, fear might seep in since there's a quiet voice in the back of their mind just whispering to them a false truth they can't make go away, especially if there is a lack in communication or open honesty between the two individuals.

In the extreme sense of it, the intensity of this dynamic can be amplified by an underlying presence of lies or deception, which in turn may affect the relationship. Secrets may become a recurring theme, causing both individuals to hold back certain aspects of themselves or their lives. These secrets may not necessarily be intentionally created, but could arise from external circumstances.

On one side of the spectrum the planet person can either fixate on healing any inner mental struggles the house person subconsciously holds onto. This can become one sided if the other person feels they don't need to be "saved" or "fixed," they might look at them in confusion, wondering what the planet person is holding onto, why they won't let them go, or why they have this drive to heal aspects of them they (the house person) isn't even aware or comfortable with.

So, the shadow side of this synastry depends on the individual. That itself would better showcase how intense 12th house synastry will manifest for each individual. If one is not used to being completely seen past the 3D (for both parties involved), then this would cause uncomfortability. If one is spiritually open and aware about how deep and ethereal this type of love can become, then the chances of dealing with deception or confusion is less likely.

Another aspect that this synastry may manifest is the inclination to hold onto this connection because the house person may believe that the planet person genuinely sees the real them even before they could fully see themselves (but it can also be vice versa; depends). If both are accepting of this love, the planet person can accurately read the house person and vice versa, words are not a necessity when it comes to the two of them, the planet person will know the house person's exact deep rooted innate fears before the house person was even aware they had any. The house persons presence just screams to the planet person's all of their inner mental challenges, and all the planet person wants to do is heal that part of them, the planet person will just know what their soul needs to hear and they want to give the house person that care and reassurance (especially if the planet person has strong attraction on their end/have natal 12th or Pisces placements).

This bond (when wanted on both ends) can create a soul binding connection where the house person would feel like no one else can ever understand them the way the planet person can. No one else would be able to read them like the book they secretly are, no one else can look into their eyes and bring solace into their bones, which in-turn can cause the dynamic between them to consistently become something that is impossible to let go of. How do you let go of the one soul who speaks to the parts of you that you don't even know?

They'll both feel that they've known each others souls before, leaving them to hang on and stay even if it gets destructive. If the energy between them both lack, then constant wavering thoughts and "what if's" can take over, and when the energy between the two of them feels grounded, that type of love is unbeatable and can feel ethereal. The overwhelming level of unexpressed intimacy between the two of them can be especially intense for someone who isn't accustomed to experiencing such boundless love.

Everything is unsaid but between them, there’s just a given understanding of each others inner mental struggles and pain, and having that kind of depth can bring in fear of what it would mean if this person leaves. Therefore self-sabotaging or escapist attitudes can occur, leaving this relationship to enter a side neither of them truly wants.

Be conscious and aware that (especially if you have 12th/Pisces house placements), a part of you wants to be seen without having to say a word, a part of you wants to feel connected to someone mind, body, and soul; and so with that brings in the intensity of this synastry and could be the reason why you choose to stay with someone that can ignite these feelings in you.

(In general to fully grasp how 12th house synastry can manifest, a deeper analysis is usually needed, by understanding your chart and your persons. I have an eBook that perfectly describes and answers almost any question about 12th house synastry so if you'd be interested in learning more about that, the link is pinned on my page).

8TH House

With the 8th house, it is an engulfing type of love. A clear and known relationship with deep intense feelings and emotions. You see it, other people see it and it’s hard to control and hard to let go of.

Usually, instantly, the house person is aware that the lack of planet person will feel like the worst loss there is, but they'll remain indifferent to that consequence. The house person can’t hide their feelings toward planet person, and they can't help but allow their feelings to flood out into the open. They want to showcase their undying desire to have the planet person because the want for them is the deepest thing the house person has have ever felt. A look from them rushes in emotion the house person never knew was possible. This synastry makes the house person accept any and all flaws that they have, and because of that, the loss of them can feel like they are losing a part of themself that they've always wished they could fix.

Nothing is hidden when it comes to this type of synastry, the feelings that preserve can’t help but be outwardly known by everyone in the vicinity of them. The threshold of the vulnerability that the planet person creates in the house person is untouchable. For the house person, nothing else matters but the planet person, and even though they are painfully aware about how transformational the planet person's absence will be, they'll stay anyway.

In another sense of this, if one or both of you struggle with insecurities/fears or have self-worth/value issues then the dynamic between you can erupt power struggles and control issues. The type of control and need one might have depends on how deep the internal pain the individual has (more info in my eBook).

The planet person gives the house person this serene and peaceful feeling where the house person finally can fully accept themself, so if the planet person leaves their presence. the house person will feel a pain that's worse than death; and the culprit behind that is because of fear. Constant battles of power/trust may emerge between the two of them. They' both might share this jealousy that they didn’t know was even possible and especially because without the planet person the house person won’t feel this specific “high” and that alone creates the intense need for them even more.

This intimacy is deep, almost instant, it can't be a lighthearted connection, their actions and the expectations you expect them to uphold too will create these high and lows you can't escape.

Loops and cycles are likely to occur, you will constantly go through ego deaths; you let go of them then you can't, you say you don't miss them then you do.

The love and hate spectrum is constantly wavering over your head, their smallest action can create a ripple effect of intense emotion, you start to depict every thing they have said or done to you, leaving you to go back and fourth with wanting them; to wanting nothing to do with them.

A part of the house person knows that the lack of them would disrupt their peace, yet their soft touch brings them the sense of wholeness and home they've only ever wished they had. If both are accepting of this type of love, they can elicit both the best and the worst aspects of each others character, and if the love for themself is lower than the desire to be loved; they won't be able to walk away.

(Who ever struggles with self love/self value/self worth/or have a broken attachment style because of past partnerships or parents OR has strong Scorpio in their natal chart/8TH house placements/Pluto influence will feel this type of synastry deeply)

This synastry needs desire and attraction on both ends to fully feel the effects of this kind of love, unrequited love can still occur and obsession/obsessiveness can happen on BOTH ends if each person just allows this type of energy in when both of your souls meet

While both types of synastry can bring in intense desire and lust, the differences exude in the type of person you are at your core. The healing (or lack there of) will dictate what type of relationship you'll experience when it comes to this individual.

Moving on or learning to change bad patterns is difficult but through the process of understanding your souls needs, everything else will follow.

(Understanding exact transits, synastry aspects or house overlays between you two will help you better understand if the person you're with share these karmic ties more info in my eBook and the link to purchase is pinned on my page)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Sexual Assault TW - Please, don’t feel pressed about answering this, if the topic would make you uncomfortable; I am just curious on your perspective as you have had excellent advise/opinions for other people

Do you think there’s ever a cutoff point for being assaulted/sexually coerced? Like, how many times it can happen to a person?

Because I’ve had about eleven situations where I’ve said no, or that I wasn’t interested, and that I didn’t want to do anything, but each time has escalated into something coerced and I feel guilty and give in, or something more physically demanding

I think I might just be experiencing a wave of post evangelical upbringing guilt, but I’m starting to doubt that so many things could happen to me so many different times, and that I didn’t hit a cutoff point or something like that

Thank you in advance if you ever see this! I hope you have a wonderful day and thank you for all your help and all the help you give other people!

hi anon,

I'm very sorry to hear this has happened to you.

there is, unfortunately, not a limited number of times that a person can experience sexual violence or coercion. in fact, it's unfortunately common for people who have experienced abuse before to fall victim to it more than once. this is called revictimization, which you can read more about here:

it's crucial to understand that being revictimized does not, ever, mean that you're at fault for experience abuse from multiple people. as this article outlines, it is most often happens when a survivor of previous violence develops responses to that trauma - such as dissociation, alcohol and substance abuse, distorted perceptions, low self-esteem, risky behaviors, cognitive accommodation to on-going violence, learned helplessness or passivity in the face of danger, willingness to tolerate maltreatment in order to avoid abandonment, adaptation to socioeconomic stressors and discrimination, list copy pasted directly from the above article - that others are able to take advantage of. again, this absolutely does not make recurring violence the fault of the person being harmed; that responsibility always lies with the person who has done harm.

I understand that the evangelical upbringing primes you to feel responsible for these things happening to you, and that it can be extremely difficult to unlearn. please remember that nothing you could have done could justify sexual assault, and that you don't deserve any of the pain you've experienced. there is no "reason" this happens to you except that people have autonomously made the choice to take advantage of you, which is beyond your control and not your fault. you can't change the past actions of others, but I hope you are able to be kind to yourself in the present and have the support that you deserve.

[eastgaysian]

(after spending several minutes standing silently in the corner of your house vaping) it's like kendall and tom are both invested in waystar like that one dril tweet, i spent my whole life trying to take over the sexual violence factory and now everyone's like oh the sexual violence factory is bad its ineffective fuck off. on a fundamental level they can't really conceive of a different way to operate, certainly not without jeopardizing the power and security they're so invested in. (tom is certainly less familiar with/acclimated to the Roy Mindset, but while their perspectives/behaviors are 'extreme' they are not actually incompatible with a kind of everyman pov, and tom is unwilling/unable to challenge the roys' logic.) they can't shake the idea that, essentially, bottoming is gay and unmanly and humiliating, but someone's gotta do it! you can't fuck, you can't get anything done, you can't win with equals and hand stuff doesn't count! and the bottom can't be them, of course, it's always gay and unmanly and humiliating for 'getting fucked' to happen to you, much less to want it. but at the same time they struggle grappling with the coercive implications for various reasons.

so kendall is more directly uncomfortable, but primarily tries to cope by pretending that the coercive implications don't exist if he doesn't look at them and doesn't invoke them himself. at the same time he continually falls back on aggressive patterns of behavior when he's insecure - i'd argue most prominently in his relationship with rava. all while being, uh, bad at fucking in all the ways that count by the show's logic. while tom technically succeeds where kendall fails, but in a way that is unsatisfying, even miserable for him, and reveals how arbitrary this measure of success is. like, principally, tom can more or less stomach the morality, and then can't figure out a way to comfortably navigate the gender-sexuality tangle and stay emotionally secure. point a, the fucked up evil genderplay that is the fabric of tom and shiv's marriage, but point b, like. while tom and kendall are definitely both guilty of saying bizarre homoerotically charged things without blinking an eye, it's important to distinguish that tom seems to only be interested in/can only justify this if there is a coercive implication.

i think i alienated myself from a chunk of the tomposters while succession was airing, but i feel like people didn't consider this or didn't want to? but i think it's a big part of how tom, like, conceptualizes and lives with deviance from (cis)heterosexuality. if it's coercive no one is actually 'gay,' it's about the power dynamic and not the real people involved (haha). enduring the homosocial behavior reinforces the fact that everyone involved is straight, and that this behavior is to some degree expected of straight men in this environment. if it isn't coercive, if anyone involved wants it as anything more than a show of hierarchy, then it's about you as people and you're a freak and you lose. but this 'safe' transactional realm is devoid of the emotional connection that tom very much desires.

anyway, all this to say, transition could save(?) both of them. really bad sad soggy gay sex with each other would make them worse

[thestartarot]

Capricorn north node & Cancer south node analysis:

Your destiny point: independence, happiness, growing into responsibility and authority, leaving a legacy in your work. Learning to trust yourself and embrace your ambitions. Be unapologetic, the family doesn’t own you anymore.

What you have to overcome: feeling an extreme lack of safety. Nobody saves you except you. Authority issues

Childhood: ** trigger warning, talk of emotional abuse

Individuals with this placement didn’t have a positive family experience as a child. One or both parents were often very emotionally and mentally abusive, forcing these individuals to always be in a state of “reading the room” for hints of unpleasant emotions because the family was so volatile. In addition, this placement is rebellious and often times they are THE MOST rebellious when everything is fine in their life and they are feeling safe. It really is behavior that was engrained in childhood. It’s very hard for these individuals to understand that things can be fine and safe and not feel like the floor could fall out at any minute. As a child, they probably felt a tad bit uncomfortable with feelings of security, happiness, and joy because as quickly as those wonderful feelings happened, they were quickly destroyed by an abusive family member.

<tarot observation> pulling The Moon in a “fears” placement of a spread

May have also struggled going to school because school was full of strangers and the individual couldn’t read their surroundings often thinking the worst before school. May have also been bullied because of issues with the family (strict, overtly religious, not religious, black sheep family.) the home environment is definitely a dichotomy, because they hate to be there but don’t want to leave.

When getting in trouble, this placement will over explain their side because in the childhood home, mistakes had to be so justified and reasoned to survive.

In the song, “Living the Dream” Sturgill Simpson sings, “Living the dream makes a man want to scream” reminding me of this placement. Also, Big K.R.I.T’s song “Mixed Messages”

May have an angel like appearance. People tend to fight over this child.

Adult:

Despite a tough childhood, this placement is actually very ambitious and successful and will work tirelessly to build a home full of safety and comforts, but it’s a double edged sword because when it’s too quiet or too happy, individuals will replay their parents, feeling a need to disrupt the peace and change something or leave causing emotional abuse to those around them. Individuals with this placement need to learn they don’t have to leave and they don’t always have to feel included. They can literally just be. a. person.

They often struggle with emotional identification and may borrow emotions from others, may even have imaginary friends as a child and into adulthood, because they would rather be together in a sad emotion than alone in one. This is why it’s so hard to stay peaceful with this placement because the cancer south node fills this individual with insecurity. It’s almost like with this placement safety doesn’t exist or felt rarely…. So why not act out?? Developing a strong sense of self will help this placement. Self discipline and self discovery needs to be learned.

Very gangster like qualities to this placement. This placement is probably a talented artist, writer, actor, executive, manager, politician, lawyer, professor, or in law enforcement.

***women with this placement may experience issues with male control from childhood into adulthood.

How to overcome:

Self actualization is key. A stable sense of self. Let the abusive family go. Cut contact. Know that the family can’t save you. Quit being pessimistic. Observe needed moments for a rebellious approach. Believe in a moral code that guides them in a good direction. This placement needs to let go of the pain and welcome the happiness that is available to them as long as they can stay away from the pitfalls of childhood and a rough start into adulthood. RECEIVE LOVE. Also, needs to stop being so critical of themselves and over explaining when they have messed up. Forgive oneself. Individuals need to understand that they are included within oneself and they belong to themselves. You are your own authority and you’re not always responsible for how someone feels. &&&& use the intuition required for survival in childhood as a strength in adulthood.

Also, know that there is room for you too ❤️

More North and South Node threads coming & also Chiron analysis

— Casper

[bonecarversbestie]

why do you hate azriel, what is there to hate about him he's quiet and polite? just curious

Thank you so much for asking, I’ve been waiting to talk about this topic for a long time.

For your pleasure and convenience, I’ve organized my points into an easily digestible numbered list:

Caution: Azriel criticism ahead

First, his particular brand of emo broodiness is just not my cup of tea, and I enjoy scenes less when he is lurking in the corner.

Similar to how some people dislike Nesta because they have been hurt by someone like her, I have never liked Az because I’ve had someone in my real life pine after me like he did to Mor (read: super obvious, with no encouragement from me, in a way that made me feel guilty for not returning their feelings and everyone around us felt uncomfy/like they needed to buffer the situation)

I didn’t appreciate that he wasn’t a very good chaperone to Nesta. If the IC was going to force her into “rehab” they were obligated to protect her while she was there (including from Cassian). I accept that Az was busy spying on Briallyn, but even when he was around it seemed clear that he did not take his chaperoning very seriously.  

The hero complex. I get that this comes from his trauma and low self esteem – he doesn’t value his life as much as the lives of his family, but he also knows that they are all competent and strong, and trying to take on every risky task to keep them from darkness or danger is not practical, possible or fair.

The torturing people thing – yes it’s his job, and sometimes it’s justified like with the Attor. But torturing Eris’s soldiers was wrong especially because it was clear they were not in their right minds and Eris is an ally to their court. He also alludes to torturing people for information in the human queens’ castle. Yes, some of them may have been sympathetic to Briallyn’s cause, but how many were just humans working their 9 to 5? After Eris’s soldiers I don’t trust him to make ethical decisions about choosing his victims.

I’m uncomfortable with how easily he can invade the privacy of others with his shadowsinger gifts. We don’t have evidence that he abuses these gifts, but I don't completely trust him either. (see point 5, ethical decision making)

Most of my reasons for disliking Azriel actually have little to do with ships, but as he relates to Lucien: I don’t like how little respect he seems to have for Lucien and Elain’s bond while apparently wanting a mating bond himself. And his assertion that Lucien doesn’t deserve Elain despite being her mate, and despite the fact that Lucien has been nothing but polite and cooperative since arriving in the Night Court rubs me the wrong way.

And as for Elain: I think he will be yet another person in her life who is overly protective and coddling rather than someone who will empower and encourage her to grow (see point 4: hero complex) I also never got the impression that his feelings for her come from a place of genuine interest in Elain as a person. I cannot blame him for being interested in someone who is kind and beautiful, but I think that’s all she is to him. Elain is also extremely vulnerable and isolated at this point in her story and it seems like he is just pursuing her because she’s there and available (and per the bonus chapter he feels at least some amount of entitlement to her).

His temper is a red flag. Even Rhys admits that Az still sometimes scares the shit out of him. He could have ruined everything at the High Lord meeting by taking Eris’s bait, and he had to be called off by Feyre. It gave the same vibe as a child having to sit by the teacher because they can’t keep their hands to themselves.

Doesn’t want to write poetry. Not very romantic if you ask me. Doesn’t need to resort to it? Or doesn’t know how? Sounds like a skill issue.

[fushiglow]

Hello glow!!! Thank you for another lovely satosugu work! :)

I absolutely love how real and tangible your writing is - seeing them start with different states of being turned on and building together really paints such a lovely picture of what intimacy is without the expectation of a perfect start-stop :) 3 cheers to realistic sexual dynamics!

Also, I think that your link at the end of your post goes to Violent Delights instead - but maybe that's just an issue on my end!

Thank you so much for this lovely feedback (and the heads up about the link), I can't tell you how much your words cheered me on Friday! They came at a time I really needed to hear them so, if you don't mind, I'm going to use this ask as an opportunity to say a few things about my writing and why I do what I do — no obligation to respond!

Quite honestly, I have been feeling a little anxious about how I'm perceived as a writer recently. When Over the Threshold started gathering some steam in January, I only had five published works on AO3 posted over the course of six months. By the end of August, I'll have 18 published works for Jujutsu Kaisen, 16 of which will be complete. I have never been this productive in a fandom before!

A lot of the reason for that is because I'm finally learning how to work with my AuDHD brain. I love writing, I really do, and I'm constantly excited by the possibilities that reside within my brain. I have more ideas than I have time or hands to write them, but I want to explore as many of those ideas as possible. In the past, I would have forced myself to stick to the thing that I was "supposed" to write, rather than following the burst of inspiration and writing the thing that I "wanted" to write. To no one's surprise, that usually meant I ended up writing nothing at all.

I'm someone who seeks out challenges, and all the fics I've published in 2024 have been experimental in some way. Come Get Your Honey was a challenge in extended metaphor. Balance was a challenge in seamlessly blending two very different universes. Mailman AU was a challenge in format. Violent Delights was a challenge in pushing myself to new and uncomfortable places. Thunder was a challenge in encapsulating an entire world and history within a single motif without ever actually seeing that world and history.

I'm really proud of every single one of those works, as well as the speed I've written them at. I've published 92k words on AO3 already this year and written far more, so I feel like I can no longer justifiably call myself a slow writer. However, all the works mentioned above have artistic merit in the more traditional sense — i.e. they're not smut.

At the time of writing this, three of my five most recent works contain sexual content with varying degrees of explicitness, and it's hard to escape that pervasive (and flawed) idea that smut is "less serious" as a form of writing. Even writing smut in the first place has been a slow process of overcoming some of my own biases. However, sex is part of the spectrum of human experiences, and it's also deeply political. Whenever I explore it in my writing, you can be sure that I always have that at the forefront of my mind. That's why these works, too, have represented something new and challenging and exciting for me.

Discreet Delivery was the first piece containing explicit sexual content that I ever shared publicly and, with how rife top/bottom discourse is in this fandom (most of which is based on heteronormative ideals that I vehemently disagree with), I really wanted to make a statement straight out of the gate. I'm very proud of how I managed to weave a switch/vers narrative into a oneshot, and the feedback on it was wonderful.

Headroom, however, presented a very different kind of challenge. It was extremely difficult to write, because it doesn't follow the beats of a traditional sex scene. There's no satisfaction for Satoru nor for the readers, and that made it tricky to keep it engaging. I was also very nervous about showing a different side of these beloved AU characters and establishing a new dynamic between them while incorporating some of the broader themes from Over the Threshold.

Finally, Tell Me I'm Pretty was pure subversion, writing Suguru in particular in a way I've never seen before to challenge expectations about "roles" in sex. It meant I had no blueprint to work from, but I'm not interested in reproducing the same dynamics I've read a thousand times. However, that also means that I felt very anxious about how people would receive this fic — especially on GeGo Day.

The truth is, everything I write I write for myself first and foremost, but it's hard to keep sight of that when you're blessed with an engaged audience. This is a huge reason why updates to Over the Threshold take time. This fic is deeply important and deeply personal to me, but its growing popularity adds a pressure that I don't want to influence my writing. I feel a constant underlying need to outdo myself with every new fic and chapter I post, but that's unrealistic and unachievable.

Obviously, I want readers to enjoy what I write, but I know the moment I start writing for other people is the moment my writing suffers. That's the main reason why I'm reluctant to put anything behind a paywall, even if I feel frustrated with the way fanfics are casually consumed on the internet. Readers occasionally make demands of me without any respect for my time and effort and creative vision, and sometimes I look at what I've written and think, "Am I really going to give that away for free?". However, asking for anything beyond tips would change the game for me. Enjoying my writing is far more valuable to me, at least at this point in time.

All of this is to say: I really loved writing Tell Me I'm Pretty. I had a blast with it — until it came time to post, at which point I suddenly felt full of self-doubt. For you to appear in my inbox and tell me that you appreciated the realism of the intimacy in this fic? I couldn't have asked for anything more, thank you so much ♥️

TL;DR, I write for myself, but god, it's the best feeling in the world when readers resonate with my writing. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to let me know. I love you all to the moon and back!

[peppermint-rat]

To everyone who was raised mormon - anger is not a sin. Anger is your friend.

Obviously, it has to be managed, like any emotion. Being reactive and having a temper is not healthy. But being angry is. You might have heard that a good and kind person is never angry.

Bullshit.

Anger is an internal alarm that something might be wrong. That you, someone you know, or a group as a whole are being mistreated, or at the very least, you are not satisfied with the way things are. But even being dissatisfied is called blasphemous. Nephi's brothers sure liked to "murmur", didn't they?

Why would the church call anger a sin? Anger that does not inflict physical harm on other people? Is it a sin to make other people uncomfortable with your emotions?

Yes, actually. Turn off your ability to identify mistreatment, turn off your ability to be dissatisfied with your life, and make sure everyone around you turns those off, too.

That way, the church can take 10% of all of your money and tell you to fall to the ground and kiss their feet in gratitude for it. They can force you to cut your hair before being allowed into a fun youth event. They can string you up like a fucking marionette and you'll just go limp and follow their directions, because resisting would make you a bad person.

Of course the people that tied you up would tell you that struggling is a sin.

And, even outside of the church, but ESPECIALLY in the church, people will use this idea to make themselves into the better person and place all the blame on you for THEIR actions. They will feel threatened by you being upset about things that they worked so hard to justify in their minds - but the thing is, you're angry, which means you're wrong and scary and the familiar mistreatment feels more comfortable than ever. Sometimes, people will even take the opportunity, as the clear Bigger Person in the situation, to treat you even worse, but use such calm and pacifist language that, naturally, you're the cruel and irrational one.

I made a Facebook status once telling everyone who agreed with the church's new homophobic "doctrine" to unfriend me. A cousin I never spoke to DMed me telling me that she felt like I hated her for believing in the church, and she didn't hate me for my "choice" of lifestyle, and - get this - she loved me and would therefore not unfriend me herself, I would have to do it. So she would be noble, and I would be the angry little apostate dyke. I reconnected with an old mormon friend and told her that I was hurt by her believing homophobic things, and she immediately told me that I always blew things out of proportion and got angry for no reason. My brother has been abusive to me all my life, but whenever I got upset, I was rocking the boat, or I was even worse than him for being angry at all. A friend who wasn't even mormon betrayed the fuck out of me and told me "I understand if /you/ don't want to be friends anymore," like they hadn't decided that on their own with their extremely hurtful actions. But hey, using calm and pacifist words while someone else is upset means you will always be the one being "so good about it"!

Anger is not a sin, anger is not an excuse to treat you badly. Anger is what will save you from thinking that mistreatment is justified. Practice patience with your loved ones, but be assertive. Practice forgiveness with the people you WANT to forgive. But if you wanna die mad, that's your fucking right.

Fuck this "drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" shit. Being angry and staying angry led me away from a cult, away from abuse, away from manipulative people, and gave me the courage to fight to protect my little niece in a dangerous situation.

Anger is your friend.

[yuikomorii]

After thinking more deeply about it, people shouldn’t get mad when seeing the majority shipping AyaYui because they are the most perfect for each other…not always in the good way. They are both obsessive weirdos that are unable to communicate properly and end up doing so much dumb shit that not only hurts them but also the ones around them.

Now I’m not saying they are the most problematic characters in the game, but they just are such menaces for whoever is connected to them. They be wondering why Yui wouldn’t make such a good couple with Subaru and Azusa but the reason is that they’re exactly too soft for her. They just want a kind and motherly girl but Yui keeps putting them in uncomfortable situations, doesn’t respect their boundaries and is unable to comprehend their introversion. Ik she was in a dangerous situation at first but that’s over after the second game, isn’t it? They started dating so if that’s what she truly wanted, she has to take responsibility for that and bring her brain to work.

Now about Mr. Yours Truly, he wasn’t irredeemably bad in the first game but he was such an asshole, let’s be frank. After the first game, Yui started treating him poorly or, again , not paying attention to whatever he was going through but I just couldn’t feel bad for him. They both fucked eachother up so bad but in an equal way so I can’t say any of them is better than the other, like some of their individual fans do. I’m not saying this about the Admin but some Yui and Ayato stans must actually hate the characters and only love their fanon version of them. Just because they forgive their abusers and are friendly doesn’t make them the kindest character anyone has ever seen. They did too many bad things to be considered the kindest and I’m not gonna follow the “they went insane” excuse because I really don’t care. All characters are insane and broken but not all of them did as much shit as they did.

I’m not justifying anything from that dick but e.g. when Karlheinz commits a genocide to make ghouls, he is said to have abused his powers and is evil but when Yui commits a genocide because her cute Ayato-kun 〜 died and kills all living things on both worlds, that’s seen as romantic? Like that’s extremely evil and selfish of her too. Or when others complain about the vampires being possessive and jealous, when Yui is the same person that stabbed Shu and threw him in the dungeon afterwards out of jealousy and she also paralysed Ayato then used him as her pleasure slave only because he drank blood from other chicks. Again, I’m not excusing them but she’s just as worse when triggered enough. All the fanwars are stupid when the game only has characters that wouldn’t be perceived as mentally sane or innocent angels in real life.

// Uuh… you kinda worded it a bit too harshly but I do get where you come from.

The thing is Yui, Ayato, Azusa, Subaru and Yuma are characters described by Rejet as either pure or kind-hearted, yet this doesn’t mean they necessarily have to be saints sent from above 24/7. Good people can react horribly under stress, pressure or shock. Yes, they can do wrong stuff and treat others badly as a result, but this doesn’t mean they have a bad soul. Trauma is not the same from person to person and everyone reacts to it differently. It can turn good people into monsters depending on the severity of the circumstances and some might never come back to their original nature. And, even if they do, this will not excuse their actions, but as long as they try to change for the better and take accountability, I believe they deserve a second chance.

Rejet makes Yui go mad in some endings and After stories to demonstrate that she is capable of doing something as awful as the Diaboys if an event hits her hard enough, just like it did to them. And, to be honest, that's realistic. Of course, not the story, but the fact that every person, no matter how strong, has a breaking point.

Speaking of the genocide committed by Yui, the reason why it’s considered romantic is not the deed itself, but the fact Yui created an Ayato ghoul after exterminating everything, only because she wanted to be killed by the man she loved. I think this was the only time Yui seriously used her brain, and the fact she was crazy when doing that, makes it hilarious.

As for the Yandere endings, Yui does that to Shu in MB, if I recall correctly but it was so unexpected because she really didn’t get any vibes throughout the route, therefore I guess it was just random writing. In Ayato’s route, the obsessive tendencies were obvious when she started looking through Ayato’s swimsuit magazines and tried measuring her boobs to the ones of those girls. I was pretty sure she would pull a possessive move on him later on, lol.

Truth be told, I don't mind that in fictional couples as long as they're both obsessed with each other and it's not one-sided. Besides, it’s funny how even Ruki called Yui “Ayato obsessed” in CL.

As a DL fan, I understand that no character is a total green flag because they all display toxic behavior in regular circumstances, no matter if intentional or not. Nonetheless, that shouldn’t stop us from loving them. Some people prefer the softer aspects of DL, while others prefer the darker, but keep in mind that those who prefer talking well about their favs don't want to be always reminded of all the bad things they did, especially if those characters regret them or weren't in the best mental state at the time.

[atwoodsfemalefantasy]

so sorry to take a break from politics for a second, but i need to rant about this new Joker movie.

please no. please please please no. for so many reasons.

the simplest of which is that the Joker is just such a tired story. it's been told so fucking many times. we get it! toxic masculine asshole falls into chemicals, turns into supervillain, manipulates and abuses his girlfriend, "sOcIeTy" yadda yadda fucking yadda. it was interesting for a while, but it's not anymore. there's no new way to tell this story!! it's been told!!

if you know me personally, you know that Harley Quinn is an icon of mine, and the movie Birds of Prey is extremely important to me. now before anybody comes at me about how "bad" a movie BoP was, i don't wanna hear it. you won't change my mind in thinking it's incredible. the only legit criticism i've seen has been badly veiled misogyny, or upset about the pacing (it was told by Harley Quinn! what did you expect?). but Birds of Prey was AMAZING because Margot Robbie fought HARD to FREE HARLEY QUINN. as the comics have made clear, Joker/Harley is one of the most toxic relationships to exist. Joker is manipulative, abusive, take all the credit for Harley's work, and overall, it's just a shitty relationship. but somehow the Joker movies have convinced the media that Joker/Harley is soooo romantic because Harley is so ride or die. Joker/Harley feeds into the "dark romance" genre. it appeals to men because Joker forces Harley into sexuality and Harley does whatever he says. women somehow got tricked into thinking it was romantic, too. and this pisses me off especially because in the comics!!! Joker/Harley is established to be abusive!!! and Harley gets out!!! and has a healthy relationship with Poison Ivy!!! and in BoP, Margot Robbie had to FIGHT the writers every step of the way to make Harley a) leave the Joker b) not go crawling back to him and c) be her own, fabulous person like she is in the comics. the point is, BoP and Suicide Squad 2 Harley is perfect, lines up with comic Harley, and is a huge role model for women, especially women leaving toxic relationships. and NOW this new Joker wants to throw all that away and make Harley that girl who bends over backwards to support Joker's abuse again! they want to undo all of that progress just to give us the same old "love story" that's really just a sick man preying on a girl (who was put in an uncomfortable position to turn him down because she was his therapist!!). why must we tell this same, tired story, WHILE throwing away all our progress with Harley that Margot Robbie pushed so damn hard for!

and finally, i'm just sick of how the audience receives the Joker. no matter how obviously Joker is shown as not a good guy or role model, teenage (and older) boys will ALWAYS view him as this hero who enforces toxic masculinity in a way that's cool enough that it sucks them in! the more we tell this fuckers story and glorify his shitty behavior (EVEN IF THE MOVIE IS TRYING TO BE SATIRE THAT CRITICIZES HIS BEHAVIOR), the more boys and men will insist that he's a role model and let their own toxic masculinity and woman hating grow and feed off him. THE JOKER IS NOT A FEEL GOOD STORY!! you're not supposed to hear the Joker talk and actually agree with him!! but just like American Psycho, these men will take a piece of media telling a CAUTIONARY TALE/SATIRICAL PIECE about toxic masculinity and make it their whole personality and use it to justify their own shitty behavior.

Gaga, please. I adore you, but i expected more from you. we do not need another Joker. i'm not prepared to see the halloween costumes of girls who are genuinely tricked into thinking this story is romantic. i'm not ready for the boys and men imitating the Joker again. i don't want to hear the same damn story again and again and again when the original point has been lost and misconceived dozens of remakes ago. why.

[doubledyke]

idk why i have such strong lore about eddy's parents but i feel like i know these mfers

100% they are swingers

dad does coke on the not so down low

totally the types to cuss in front of their kids and don't care if their kids cuss "in the house"

mom is in a classic mlm (mary kay); has been known to use little eddy as a model to practice her make up skills/demonstrate products for clients - the shitty full coverage foundation almost looks decent on pristine toddler skin

nasty little white dog with tear stains once both boys are gone

make their own p0rnos

completely non-religious; the subject never comes up

they either lived in the trailer park or a tiny downtown apartment before eddy sr.'s big promotion- were pretty poor when they had bro

mom's family is italian, dad's side is irish - or vice versa, doesn't really matter

mom is friends with momma kanker - thinks the other wives in the neighborhood are uptight bitches; they kiki and chain-smoke/day-drink together

dad has a gay brother/cousin that he was really close to before he came out and was disowned by the family; feels that he was tricked and betrayed for whatever heterosexual reason; thinks this justifies his homohobia

mom is very affectionate with her boys (especially eddy), and definitely licks her thumb to wipe schmutz off their faces even into adulthood

both parents are extremely uncomfortable when serious emotions come up, and have no clue how to handle eddy's obvious behavioral/emotional issues; mom turns to food for comfort and figures the same will work for her sons

she feels guilty for what happened to eddy and has trouble telling him no or punishing him; dad's motto is 'boys will be boys"- that's a threat

dad has never uttered the words "i love you", and would only respond with a grunt if anyone ever said it, but that hasn't happened in years

dad really wants to pass on the family business to one of his sons, so he was pissed when his oldest decided to pursue a more artistic path; really lays it on thick with eddy that he's gonna be the one to take over some day

mom never graduated high school cuz she got pregnant and dropped out; worked a few odd jobs when bro was growing up but is now a full time stay-at-home mom... when she's not at spin class or the salon or attending some sort of direct sales function

[scarlet97531]

⭕️❗️- just like I do not respect JK Rowling and other terf’s wishes for safe spaces away from trans people, I do not respect anti endo’s wishes for a safe space away from pro endos. Hatred for a minority is not a valid identity and does not deserve to exist unchallenged. I will not let you have tags all to yourself to turn into an echo chamber of hate, because honestly that is not healthy for anyone. It is not healthy for you to base an entire social space around hating a minority group. Find social spaces about things you like instead, and if you really have to just block people you disagree with.

And I feel like I need to point something out, the main motivation for anti endo views seems to be just that endos make you uncomfortable. That is never a valid reasoning for being anti any group of people. That is reactionary behaviour, and it is the exact same thing that leads to racism, transphobia, homophobia, transmedicalism and terf ideology. Your motivation for advocating for a group of people to not exist should never be because of how they make you feel, you need to *prove* they are doing real harm to real people to a degree that actually affects people’s lives and is provably and intentionally their fault. And y’all have NOT done that.

“They’re spreading misinformation about a real serious condition!” That’s what trans meds say about trans ppl without dysphoria. “Their identity is scientifically impossible!” Literally indistinguishable from every kind of transphobia ever. “One time an endogenic system was mean to me/ did something stupid or bad!” You cannot. Judge a whole group. Based on INDIVIDUAL behaviour. Especially when there are tons of anti endogenic systems who’s behaviour is just as bad or worse.

I’m very happy to explain to y’all why I believe what I believe, but I’m not gonna be friendly about it unless you are. I want you to understand why I believe what I believe even if it isn’t enough to change your views, maybe if you at least bothered to understand what we’re saying and why we’re saying it you could at least have a little more empathy.

Honestly I do see how someone can get wrapped up into anti endo thinking, it is extremely prevalent in most online spaces and often sites “scientific fact” as justification, despite most information about how systems form being very understudied and unproven. And I know traumatized people have to be careful about who they trust, and who they believe, because they’ve been hurt before. But that does not justify such horrible behaviour. The feeling is valid, your actions are not. Please try to figure out exactly where the feelings are coming from, and think about if your behaviour is a good reaction to that.

For any endogenic systems reading this, I’d also love to hear from you! We’re a DID system so our perspective on this is limited, I’d love to know more about your experiences and your beliefs.

[jadepearl]

I cannot bring myself to like (show) Rhaenys. Here are the reasons:

1. She, much like Alicent, seems to take all the negative emotions she feels towards Viserys and directs them towards Rhaenyra- there were better ways to tell Rhaenyra that her claim would be contested (in fact, im of the opinion that show! Rhaenys started disliking Nyra a little more after Viserys refused to disinherit her after after having his precious [sarcasm] son.) I’ve got more thoughts on this but that’s for later.

2. Her (lovely, but extremely pathetic) gay son. The GAY son that she knew was gay. The GAY son that she suspected would not be able to fuck/ impregnate a woman. The GAY son she knew would ABSOLUTELY be destroyed by the game. THE GAY SON THAT SHE WED TO THE WOMAN SHE KNEW WOULD NEED CHILDREN!!!! The entire situation with the (alleged/rumored) bastards of Nyra is a situation that Rhaenys and Coryls themselves had a hand in- they knowingly married their very gay son to Nyra knowing that she would need heirs and that it was entirely (re:extremely) possible that Laenor would not be able to bed/fuck her. Like how is she going to wake up and be like “oh my hod, my son was cuckolded” as if her son also hadn’t been cuckolding Nyra??? Like if she was going to turn a blind to Laenor sleeping w/ Qarl she could’ve afforded Nyra that same willful ignorance. Instead she chose to be mad at Nyra for making the best out of situation that Rhaenys and Corlys and her father, and even fucking Laenor put her in!!!!

3. Her attitude w/ the Velaryon Boys( see point above) those boys exist because her son could not do his duty !!! It is not a Nyra problem- it is not as simple as Nyra deciding to cuckold her husband. Nyra needed children- she TRIED with Laenor, both of them were extremely uncomfortable and it didn’t work- and Laenor apologized for being unable to his duty and instead it was decided upon that they ( the boys) would be granted the Velaryon name upon birth. He did not sire those boys (allegedly) but he did love them!!! This is the crux of my issue w/ Rhaenys- if Laenor hated those boys, I could justify her anger, excuse it maybe- but he didn’t. He didn’t hate them, didn’t cure their existence (was he a good father? No. Absolutely not. Very absent at best. But he loved them, and he cared for Nyra and so he took them as his own and gave them his family name) Rhaenys being angry/upset/etc over the outcome of a situation that she/corlys/Viserys all pushed those two into is fucking annoying and really- pardon my speak- grinds my fucking gears. You don’t get to force your gay son and your little cousin into a marriage and get shocked when your GAY son can’t fuck a woman. Especially not when you suspected that your GAY SON WOULDNT BE ABLE TO FUCK A WOMAN??? because those are the vibes show! Rhaenys gives off (yes my son is gay, no I don’t think he’ll ever be able to fuck a woman, but how dare his wife not simply live a childless life- who cares if she needed children, doesn’t she know how those looks?) why did Rhaenys not think about how it would look before marrying them?? Did she really expect the HEIR TO THE IRON THRONE TO LIVE A CHILDLESS LIFE ALL BECAUSE HER (again lovely, but rather pathetic) GAY SON COULD NOT FUCK ANYONE NOT IN POSSESION OF A COCK??!!!

What angers me the most is that, even after that conversation where she told Nyra how unstable her position was, and how she’d eventually be supplanted in favor of a male heir- this bitch, along w/ her husband put Nyra in a situation where she’d have to make a difficult choice. Live the rest of her life being called barren, cursed, all the things that they all called her late mother- all things that would endanger both her, her title as heir, and probs even Laenor too, or seek someone else to sire children? They put her in that situation and the got pissed when she didn’t choose the route of eternal suffering- they put her in that situation and got pissed that she didn’t simply accept it??? Show!Rhaenys, Viserys, Corlys, Daemon, fucking Alicent- if you have no enemies I am dead.

Anyway! These are all MY opinions, you are welcome to have your own but yours will not make me change mine. Have a good day!!

[shadowsobscurity]

Last minute confession

Summary: after you almost die, Kaz feels the need to open his mind

Pairing: Kaz brekker x reader

Warnings: Angst and Fluff

Request: no

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason,so why was he trying to justify himself in front of you?

Easy,because even the bastard of the barrel needed someone by his side.

The heist had gone totally wrong, you'd almost been caught, Inej was shot and Wylan was close to exploding the carriage in which you were hiding. The mission was supposed to be easy, but someone had snitched and the stadwach came.

- Are you telling me you knew the stadwach would come and haven't done nothing?- you were fuming, everyone knew that Kaz didn't always care about the crows' safety,but you still expected something from him. He just stared at you in silence,his expression cold as always although his eyes said something different,he was surprised. You stared back at his cold blue eyes, waiting for an answer that never came.

-Really? You put our lives in danger and now you can't even justify yourself?- his indifferent facade dropped for a second, flashing a hurt expression,but he quickly recovered his composure. As he didn't answer,you understood that he wasn't going to explain himself so you left his office slamming the door in the process

- Go fuck yourself Brekker-

-Kaz POV-

He was a gang leader,a murderer,so why he didn't stand up for himself. He loved you,he even dared to say he needed you and seeing how angry you were hurt him more than any physical wound.

He sat down on his desk, running a gloved hand through his hair.

He heard you slamming your door,but he was so deep in his thoughts that the noise seemed far away.

Hours passed while he revised and improved the plan, in an intention of repeating the heist, this time successfully. A loud knock echoed through the silent room, drawing a smile on kaz's face as he thought you came to talk.

-Come in- he shouted

Nina entered the room, looking angry and worried

- You really are a bitch, she is dying and here you are, only caring about money -

His voice came out as a whisper

-Dead? Who is dying?-

-Come on Kaz, don't be stupid, you know what I'm talking about -

Nina was almost shouting. Kaz got up immediately and started walking to the door.- third room - she simply said.

He stopped at the door, trying to recover his composure. The images of you dying, looking as Jordie did flooded his mind, leaving him unable to breathe. He entered, wanting to spend your posible last days with you.

There was a chair next to the bed, in which he sat. He looked at you intensely, trying to engrave your features in his mind. He couldn't say how much time he spent on that chair, every second seemed an eternity.

You finally opened your eyes, groaning as you tried to sit down

-Y/N POV-

Kaz was staring at you, making you uncomfortable. It surprised you seeing him there, he didn't care about you, so he must have wanted something.

-What do you want Kaz?-

Instead of answering he said

-Why didn't you tell me?-

That made you extremely mad, how did he dare to almost get all the crows killed and try to give you lessons?

-You were too busy putting us in danger to care -

-i do care, you are part of the gang and you cost me money-

-you are insufferable-

-and I like you, you are nice to be around-

This surprised you, Kaz didn't compliment no one.- I want you to be safe, because I need you by my side-

-Do you mean you are in love?-

-Yes, you could say that-

- I love you too, but please next time give us a bit of information so we don't almost die-

He laughed, a sound you didn't expect to hear but would give anything to experience again.

-I will, and I will take care of you love-

[bubuslutty]

hey. Just letting everybody know I don't support any of Jon Bernthals projects anymore. He's been silent with what's been going on in Palestine and that makes me extremely uncomfortable.

I will probably still watch DD Born again. (I will 🏴‍☠️ it just like i do to every single movie/show I've ever watched).

As for COD, I'm not sure if I'll post anything or write for it again. If I do, it's probably going to be very ooc. And I'll start cleaning out my blog from the pictures of the voice actors. The same goes for Jon Berthnal as well and other celebrities that are keeping silent or justifying the genocide going on.

The reason why it took me so long to come on here and say this is because I don't spend my money on celebrities. Like I always pirate stuff and I don't go out of my way to search up my favorite actor of the week and see what he's up to on social media because I don't care. and I know I'll probably find something shady.

(if you see reblogs abt jon or cod actors it's just my queue and it will be deleted from my blog eventually)

[toastywatchesstevenuniverse]

S1 E43

Maximum Capacity

Okay so this entire episode just made me feel like....uncomfortable? Like the entire time I just kept feeling so off. Like my brain was going "okay this is way too weird, why do I feel like there's gonna be some horrifying plot twist?"

Then it fucking happened & I felt like a psychic. Like holy shit it wasn't just me, this episode was purposely uncomfortable on purpose & idk how the fuck they did that but WOW the entire episode made me feel so uneasy & it was legit for a reason.

Also ngl Amethyst....kinda just super fucked up to do that- Like I haven't LOVED Greg as a character so far (he's there but I mean him lying about his leg, good intentions or not, was a pretty shitty move & also he's just kinda not that great of a dad but I also understand that's literally the point so I'm not gonna just toss aside his character because I'm assuming he's supposed to get better as the show goes on. For now: I just kinda feel nothing strong towards him character wise), but oh my God this episode just made me feel so bad for the guy. Holy shit like this dude just misses his wife. Fuck. I'm surprised how much he kept his cool here. Like he didn't blow up at Amethyst or anything he was like super quick to forgive her despite the fact that he kinda would have been super justified in being upset for this. But I like that this was how it was done. No scene of them fighting or yelling, Amethyst just chooses to do something to make up for it without Greg having to lecture her. In that regard: it actually made her seem way more sincere. Like she had to make that choice via her own genuine remorse. I'm wording this badly I think but like I think that it made her seem like she really was trying to attone for it & that she really did regret what she did.

And honeslty after On The Run? With the knowledge that, knowing how severely fucked up Amethyst is mental health wise, yeah her lashing out at people like this? And saying/doing extremely shitty things because she's upset & she doesn't have the capacity to hold herself back & only realizes how badly she fucked up until its too late? Yeah as someone who has that kinda mental health shit as I said in my post about that episode?....yeah, that's pretty accurate tbh. In my experience that's something I can confirm does happen. So yeah it actually makes sense why she did something so extreme out of fucking nowhere.

I have said a lot of really regrettable shit to people that I'm friends with (Sometimes idk how I'm still friends with them after bc I still feel bad about it yet they seem to insist I'm forgiven) during times where I was really fucking upset. And it's only until RIGHT after it happens that I fully go "oh shit that was a really bad thing to say & I made the situation significantly worse" Yet just like irl, they forgive. *cries*

Really well done character focused episode. They did fucking stellar character writing here.

OH WHAT YOU THOUGHT I WASNT GONNA GO INSANE GOBLIN MODE ABOUT PEARL????? TOO BAD PEARL TIME

OH MY GOD SHES IN A SWEATER AND SHES DOING HER BEST YES PEARL YOUR VOLUME IS PERFECT YOURE DOING AMAZING AAAAAAAA SHES SO CUTE AND HUGGABLE LOOK AT HER SHES THE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME !!!!!!