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#it was that he didn’t support her in her own need to make
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A basic human skill that people usually lock down around the age of three or four is impulse control. To conceptualize an action and it’s consequences before taking it. Maybe considering how that action affects other people. We then refine it through most of our childhood.
When I was a teenager my hold on this ability became… tenuous. I became a volatile and dangerous creature.
It’s probably not unique to me, but I had a perfect storm in terms of mental upsets. I had just mastered enough basic social skills, so I finally had a strong group of friends when my dad suddenly needed to move for work. Ripped away from my support network, blooming with hormones, I was dragged to Arizona. I was always a child of forests and mist and suddenly everything was hot, dry, and extremely pointy and aggressive.
Additionally to being abruptly transplanted I found myself an object of affection in a way I’d never been before. Lonely and desperate to make friends the only people who wanted to spend time with me had romantic designs. I just wanted to figure out my shit but I had a baby lesbian flirting with increasing aggression in art, a soft boy making heart eyes at me in biology, a senior nerd asking if I wanted to play Halo at his house and could he hold my hand?
Reader, I snapped. I didn’t want this romantic attention but I also didn’t want to be alone. My brain coped the only way it knew how, by simply cutting out decision making. Any action was the right action to take.
It started with the boy in biology. I’d stolen his pencil out of mischief and to my overwhelming fury instead of trying to steal it back he just softened his eyes and chucked me gently under my chin, a gesture so overtly sweet and romantic that I saw red.
I stabbed him with his own pencil.
I honestly and truly have no memory of it. It happened as fast as a snake striking and I was instantly filled with terrified remorse. Unfortunately that manifested as psychotic giggling.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I don’t know why- I’m so sorry!” I said, while hysterically laughing. I ended up having lodged some graphite in his palm and had to tweeze it out with my nails while apologizing furiously. (It’s very important to note here that he forgave me and we’re still friends)
That was weird, I thought. Why didn’t I think before I stabbed someone?
The next event was equally catastrophic, and I had even less reason to do it. In gym with two girls I was tentatively befriending, we were warming up running laps. I started racing one of them. At breakneck speed we were sprinting around the gym.
This time, there was a blip of thought before I fucked up. I should get the other girl! I have no idea why or what the plan was but I turned on a swivel and body checked the other girl. We both fell down in immense pain. I think that’s the moment I broke my tailbone. Her knees were horribly bruised and she looked at me in bewildered pain. “Why did you do that?!”
I had no idea. I apologized and helped her up, both of us hobbling like newborn horses, bruised and hurting.
By this time there’d been enough social upheavals that I was reduced to spending time with some girls I had nothing in common with and low key disliked. Sat at a table listening to this girl talk about how she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up I thought, You’d better put the cap on before you throw it.
I then chucked my empty water bottle directly at her face. It bounced off her forehead with a bop! that would have made a sound mixer weep at its perfection.
All eyes turned to me is startlement. I stared back at her, stunned by my own action, just as confused as everyone else at the table as to why I’d done that. One of the girls to my right said, “Were you trying to hit that fly?”
“Yes!” I lied, “I’m sorry, I thought I could hit the fly!”
Everyone laughed at my antics and I joined in rather than admit I had just chucked something at her for no reason.
Things did start to improve after that. I solidified a friendship with the girl I’d raced (who I developed a massive crush on and ten years later would go on to date). My outbursts turned more whimsical rather than aggressive. Like accosting a girl leaving the cafeteria to look deeply into her eyes and say with great compassion, “It’s going to be alright.”
My new friend and I snuck into the van that delivered our cafeterias baked goods and lay giggling in the back. When I’d impulsively hopped in she’d joined me and made it a game.
After a year in Arizona I broke down crying to my mother, an act of great desperation, and we ended up moving back home. My impulse control returned to normal teenage levels and life resumed in a happier state of mind.
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anthurak · 2 days
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Nice i especially like the wizard of Oz as both magican and fraud. Now do team JNPR?
Sure, why not? XD
I’ve spoken a lot about how Jaune has had this great transformation from feckless, out-of-his-depth dude trying to be a ‘main character archetype’ in a story where he very much is NOT the main character, into this amazing example of a true ‘everyman hero’ who’s driven not to battle monsters and slay bad guys, but rather to simply help and support his friends and others in need.
But what’s interesting is that I think this very ordinary, ‘everyman hero’ quality applies not just to Jaune, but to Nora and Ren as well. Like Ren and Nora have always struck me as being fairly average/ordinary when it comes to huntresses and huntsmen. They’re certainly capable to be sure, but so are most huntresses and huntsmen. And as far as backgrounds go, I imagine that ‘parents/family/entire village all died in grimm attack’ is a sadly something not-uncommon on Remnant in general or in huntsmen applicants in particular.
Basically, Nora and Ren always struck me, especially early on, as fairly average as prospective huntresses and huntsmen go. At least when we compare them to Team RWBY, who each have that exceptional, outstanding, ‘main character’ quality to them even before they became a team.
Which of course along with Jaune just makes Ren and Nora being so involved in the events of the story feel special. They didn’t need to be here. They’re not like Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang who were probably always going to be major players in the conflict against Salem. The only reason Ren and Nora are involved is because they just happened to be friends with Team RWBY. They didn’t need to be here, but they are. And they’re doing everything they can to help.
And something I find really interesting is that while Oscar very naturally fits into this narrative dynamic as himself an otherwise ordinary kid caught up in this epic story by chance and like Jaune a massive subversion of a main-character archetype…
The same can’t be said for PYRRHA. Unlike her teammates, Pyrrha was always anything BUT ‘ordinary’. She WAS the exceptional, outstanding prodigy who believed in a heroic destiny and was even offered this big, important heroic role in the form of becoming a maiden. In a lot of ways, she was flat out carrying Team JNPR, as shown best with Jaune; Pyrrha wasn’t so much a partner or love-interest to Jaune so much as a mentor to him.
Really, Pyrrha actually had a lot more in common narratively with Team RWBY then she did with her own teammates.
And I think that’s all rather interesting, you know?
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say-hwaet · 1 day
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The Dynamic Between Arthur and the Marstons (long post )
I guess I should say there are spoilers, just in case…
After playing the story through several times, I have to say, that Arthur Morgan is one of the best characters ever written. Aside from his development, there is so much depth to him, and regardless of his honor, there is so much to unravel.
I’ve been thinking about the relationship that he has between the Marstons, meaning John, Abigail, and Jack, and it really makes sense as to how Arthur acts the way he does around them in the beginning and all the way to the end.
A lot of his behavior, I think, stems from the loss of Eliza and Isaac. It is my opinion that he himself was torn between living a full life with them and remaining loyal to his gang, and before or by the time he had made a choice, it was too late, as they were killed in a robbery. This had haunted him since and it made him extremely bitter. Later in the game, he tells Rains Fall that he realized that he didn’t get to live a bad life and have good things happen to him. I also think that he was with Eliza after Mary had broken their engagement. I can get into my support for this later, but that isn’t what this post is about.
I think that Arthur was angry with John out of jealousy. He is the “golden boy” and clearly was Dutch’s favorite at one point. Not only that but after Arthur loses his own son and lover, John and Abigail get pregnant and he takes off for a year. He abandons his family, which Arthur takes personally. Arthur had tried to do right by Eliza and Isaac and still failed. So when John has Jack and is within the circle of the gang to help and support him, he takes off. Arthur gives up a potential life with Eliza and Isaac for Loyalty to the gang and John throws it all away. When John comes back, Dutch welcomes him with open arms, and Arthur believes that he would have been held to a different standard if he had come back after being with Eliza and Isaac for a long time. And it doesn’t help that John treats Jack like crap in the beginning of RDR2.
Arthur, imo, was a good father to Isaac when he was present. We can see this in how he treats Jack. In Arthur’s journal, he writes how he should have married Abigail, but due to his feelings for Mary, he didn’t. I’m not sure why after years of not hearing from Mary he would say this, but meh. Perhaps, the hope of starting over, or that she did pop in again at some point (which is how Abigail might have met her?). Anyways. I think he says he should have married her so that she would have someone to rely on and that he could be the father Jack needed. He cares about Abigail, but I don’t think it is anything beyond that. Arthur seemed to me not to be one to be with a woman without some sort of relationship, based upon how he treats women and the prostitutes in Valentine, so I don’t think he was ever with Abigail. Even so, Abigail relies on Arthur, and while he puts up a front, he gives her money for clothing and spends time with Jack. Heck, he even tells John to step up and be a dad. In some of Arthur’s conversations with John, he tells him that he can’t be two people at once. He’s speaking from experience. I think he’s subtly telling John he needs to make a choice as to what life he’s going to live. Hosea and Arthur both tell Abigail and John to leave at parts of the game.
When Jack is kidnapped, and eventually rescued, I think it is one of the most heart-wrenching missions and scenes. I can see it in Arthur’s body language that he longs for the family that he once had. He’s alone in his pain and when everyone is celebrating, Arthur doesn’t sing with the gang; there isn’t even the option to do it like it does other times. Even in my first playthrough, it seemed so sad to me. Everyone was drinking and singing, but Arthur just looked so sad.
So, it is at this point that John starts to step up, and Arthur starts to show symptoms of his illness. When he learns of his diagnosis, Arthur’s eyes open to the reality of the gang’s downfall, and he acknowledges the doubts/reservations he has about Dutch’s plans and schemes. He isn’t blindly loyal anymore. He tries to get John, Abigail, and Jack out, so that they can have the life that he had lost due to loyalty to the gang. He continually tells John to get out and that it would mean a lot to him. In his journal, after rescuing John from prison, he writes in his journal “…We’ve argued over the years, but I’ve grown to care a little for [John]. He’s less of a fool than he was, and maybe he can have the luck that has eluded me. Jack is an innocent little boy. In him, I see what I missed [meaning Isaac]. We did it.” This speaks volumes to me about how he feels about them in the end. He sacrifices himself to let John live. And though it isn’t forever, Arthur dies believing that he made it, and that matters. And hopefully, he could finally be at peace and see Eliza and Isaac again.
I could keep going, but I think I am too long-winded. I guess that helps when writing fleshed-out fanfiction stories, but not for posts. LOL
Would love to hear other thoughts or opinions, I’m always keen for a discussion.
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cynic-spirit · 3 days
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The Problem
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Yn approached Bucky one evening, her usual confident demeanor replaced by a hint of unease. She knew she could handle most situations on her own, but this one had been bothering her for a while.
“Bucky, I need your help with something,” she said, her voice steady but laced with a subtle tension.
Bucky, who had been deep in thought about some club matters, immediately shifted his focus to her. “Anything, doll,” he replied, his eyes softening with concern.
“You know I usually don’t have problems fending off people, and I can handle things on my own,” Yn began, her hands fidgeting slightly.
“Of course. I still remember Jeremy,” Bucky said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he recalled the time Yn had expertly put Jeremy in his place.
Yn forced a small smile but quickly returned to her serious expression. “But lately, there’s this guy at my university. He makes me uncomfortable. Today, he tried to touch me.”
Bucky’s demeanor changed instantly. His eyes darkened, and his jaw tightened. He saw red. “Say no more, doll,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. Bucky knew that Yn generally didn’t complain and could easily handle flirtatious behavior. For her to feel uncomfortable, it meant this man had crossed a line—a line that, for Bucky, meant a death sentence.
Bucky’s mind raced with a mix of anger and protectiveness. How dare someone make Yn feel unsafe? He admired her strength and independence, but knowing she felt the need to bring this up to him meant the situation was serious. His protective instincts surged. He couldn’t stand the thought of anyone hurting her or making her feel vulnerable.
He envisioned the confrontation with this man, already planning out how he would ensure Yn’s safety. Bucky wasn’t just angry; he was determined. Yn was his world, and anyone who threatened her would face his wrath.
“I’ll take care of it, Yn,” Bucky said, his voice steady and resolved. “I know you can handle yourself, but no one—and I mean no one—gets to make you feel this way.”
Yn looked at him, a mix of relief and worry in her eyes. “I didn’t want to bother you with this, but it’s been getting worse. I just... I didn’t know what else to do.”
Bucky reached out, gently taking her hand. “You’re never a bother, doll. Your safety is my priority. I’ll handle this. He won’t bother you again.”
She nodded, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders. Bucky’s unwavering support and determination gave her comfort. She knew he would protect her, no matter what.
As Bucky walked out of the room, his mind was already set. He would find this man and make sure he understood the consequences of his actions. Bucky’s love for Yn was fierce, and his anger was fueled by the need to protect her. He wouldn’t rest until he was sure she was safe and the threat was eliminated.
With every step, Bucky’s resolve grew stronger. Yn was his, and he would go to any lengths to keep her safe. The thought of her feeling uncomfortable or threatened was unbearable, and he would ensure it never happened again.
The man who had dared to touch Yn would soon learn a harsh lesson—one that would ensure he never crossed paths with her again.
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Humbly here to request my weekly sentences :)
🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️ I am SO intrigued by this idea
YAY!
45 for 🧟:
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“It looked like a singular flashlight,” Maddie explains. 
“Maybe it’s just someone looking around,” Hen says. 
Because she hopes. Because she worries about the alternative. Because she needs for there not to be a threat to her son.
“Right, yeah,” Maddie nods. “Like a scavenger. Or a traveler. I’ve been there.”
“We don’t know,” Bobby decides. “And we’re not going to panic until we do. A handful of us can go scouting tomorrow.”
Hen is almost certain that includes her. Good. She’ll make sure Karen stays behind with Denny, where it’s safe. 
“Sounds like a plan,” Karen says. 
“I’ll take the first stakeout shift,” Bobby announces.
“I’ll join you,” Athena offers. 
“I appreciate that,” Bobby replies. 
And that’s that. It’s settled. They have a plan. 
Having a plan always makes Hen feel better. Not totally better, but less bad. The worst is being in a predicament and not knowing what next move to make. At least this isn’t that. Yet. 
But, still… Hen would be lying if she said she gets much sleep that night. 
September 8th, 2018
Denny is overflowing with joy in the morning. A few days of playing with boys his own age and he’s pretty much descended into being a total rascal. But compared to a child that only had adults for company and seemed a bit too old for his age, Hen will take a bit of  mischief and silliness any day. 
“What if something terrible happens?” Hen asks her wife quietly as they get ready for the day. “Denny is finally getting to be a normal kid.”
“I don’t know if this is normal,” Karen says, looking across the room to where Denny and Christopher are playing Connect 4. “But, yeah… I know. I can’t stop thinking, Eddie left his kid here. He trusted Maddie and all of us. Now what if when he gets back…”
God, Hen hadn’t even considered that. 
“I hope they get back soon,” Hen mumbles. “We could use numbers and weapons on our side, just in case.”
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60 for ❄️:
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Basically, Eddie can’t be blamed for any of this. He’s free of guilt. He didn’t mean to… Well, do anything. 
Really, all he wanted to do was be less of a fucking mess. 
i.
“I think group therapy would benefit you,” Frank says, one session in late June. 
Christopher is still gone and Gerrard is still captain and life still pretty much sucks. Every day just feels like an endless loop of fucking shit. 
“You firing me, Frank?” Eddie asks. “Took you longer than expected, actually.”
Eddie’s been doing that a lot lately. The whole sarcasm thing. More than usual. And not just to Frank. He’s even begun to make tiny, biting comments in Buck’s direction. Which is completely unfair of him because all Buck is doing is supporting him. Just… Well, sometimes Eddie doesn’t know what else to say when… When things are brought up. 
Frank smiles patiently. “I think group therapy would benefit you, in addition to our sessions together.”
Eddie blinks. “Twice the amount of therapy? Extra people? I don’t know.”
Frank nods. “Yeah, it’s not most people’s favorite idea at first. But the feedback is usually pretty good.”
“Why would I need a group?” Eddie asks. “These problems… They’re pretty specific to me.”
Though, if Frank can point him in the direction of a support group for people who have encountered eerie clones of their dead spouses, Eddie will shut his damn mouth and get going. If this is a recurring thing for people, that’s just insane. Eddie will gladly join that class action lawsuit against god or the universe or whatever Buck would interpret it as. 
“Not all of what we’ve talked about is specific to you, Eddie,” Frank says. “A lot of people struggle with-”
“But isn’t everything with Chris and Kim and all that the most pressing thing?” Eddie interrupts. “That’s what I need to solve first.”
“It all helps, Eddie. We’ve talked about this. You being in a better, more open and accepting place with yourself? That will help with the rest.”
Eddie groans a little. It all sounds so counterintuitive. Even though Eddie knows he’s probably right. Why should he get to work on accepting and loving himself, when the consequences of his actions are still hurting his son? Keeping him away from home? He shouldn’t get to be happy right now. 
But the thing is, Eddie made a promise. To Buck, first. The night Christopher left. More than that, though, to himself. He’s going to trust the process. Therapy. The whole nine yards. He’s not going to let this destroy him. 
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prettygirl-gabi · 3 days
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Breaking Free
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Rating:General Audiences
Warning: Fluff, slight (very light) angst, happy ending
Category:F/M
Fandom:Seventeen (SVT)  (boyband)
Relationships: !non-idol Seungkwan x !Runaway bride f reader
Summary: When the reader flees her wedding, Seungkwan steps in as her unexpected ally, guiding her through a whirlwind escape that sparks new possibilities and unexpected feelings.
Trope : Runaway bride
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Hiiiii everyone who is reading! Welcome to the eleventh installment of my new mini series called "Oi! Not this again!" They do not have to be read together or in order! I hope you all enjoy!
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I sat in the backseat of a speeding cab, the city lights blurring through the rain-streaked windows. My phone vibrated nonstop, but I couldn’t bring myself to look. I already knew what the messages would say. They would be from my parents, angry and disappointed. From my fiancé, demanding answers, his words cutting even through a screen. From everyone I left behind, wondering why the perfect bride-to-be had suddenly disappeared.
I hadn’t planned for it to be this way. The wedding was in two days, and I had been walking around in a daze, going through the motions. The dress was ready, the flowers picked, the venue a beautiful testament to a future I never asked for.
And then I ran.
The car jolted to a stop outside a small apartment building on the quieter side of town. I hurriedly paid the driver and stepped out into the cool night, my breath catching in my throat as I stood in front of the familiar door. I knocked, my knuckles barely grazing the wood, but within seconds, the door flew open.
There he was. Seungkwan.
He stood there in sweatpants, his hair disheveled, clearly not expecting anyone at this hour. His eyes widened as he saw me, drenched from the rain, my wedding ring still gleaming on my finger.
"Y/N?" His voice was a mix of shock and concern. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?"
I couldn’t speak. The words were stuck in my throat, and I felt the overwhelming weight of everything I had done. I thought I’d feel liberated, but all I felt was fear. Seungkwan stepped forward, taking my hand and gently pulling me inside.
"Hey, hey, it’s okay," he said softly, closing the door behind us. "Come on, sit down."
I collapsed onto his couch, my body shaking from the cold, the adrenaline, and the uncertainty of it all. He quickly grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around me before sitting beside me, his eyes searching my face.
"What happened?" he asked again, his voice softer this time. "Did something happen with the wedding?"
I nodded, unable to meet his gaze. My voice barely a whisper, I said, "I couldn’t do it, Seungkwan. I couldn’t marry him."
He didn’t say anything for a moment. He simply waited, giving me the space I needed to explain, to let it all out.
"I never wanted this," I continued, the words spilling out of me in a rush. "It wasn’t my choice. My parents… they’ve been pushing this on me for months. They think it’s the right thing, that it’s what I’m supposed to do. But I don’t love him. I don’t even know him, not really. And tonight… I just… I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t go through with it."
Seungkwan’s hand found mine, his thumb gently brushing over my knuckles. "You’re safe now," he said, his voice filled with a warmth that immediately made me feel grounded. "You did the right thing. If you didn’t want to marry him, you had every right to walk away."
"But what if I made a mistake?" I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes. "What if I ruined everything? My parents will never forgive me. They’ll hate me for this."
"They won’t hate you," Seungkwan said firmly, squeezing my hand. "They might be upset right now, but you can’t live your life for them. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to make your own choices."
I looked at him, his face so full of sincerity that for the first time in days, I felt a flicker of hope. He had always been there, quietly supporting me in ways I didn’t fully understand until now. Whenever things got too hard or overwhelming, it was Seungkwan I called. He was the one person who never pressured me, never tried to control me.
"I don’t know what to do now," I admitted, my voice trembling. "I don’t even know where to go."
Seungkwan smiled, a soft, understanding smile that made my heart ache in a way I couldn’t describe. "You don’t have to figure it all out tonight. For now, just stay here. We’ll figure it out together, okay?"
I nodded, my shoulders finally relaxing a little. "Thank you," I murmured. "I didn’t know where else to go."
"You don’t have to thank me," he replied, his hand still holding mine. "I’m just glad you came here. I’m glad you trusted me."
We sat there in silence for a while, the storm outside fading into the background. Seungkwan didn’t push me to talk more, didn’t try to fix everything in that moment. He simply let me be, offering his quiet support.
Eventually, he stood up, giving me a small, reassuring smile. "I’ll make us some tea," he said. "You should change out of those wet clothes. I’ll get you something comfortable."
As I watched him move around the apartment, I felt a strange sense of calm settle over me. It was the first time in a long time that I didn’t feel the crushing weight of expectation. Here, in this small, cluttered apartment, with Seungkwan’s quiet, unwavering presence, I felt… safe. I felt like I could breathe.
When he returned, he handed me a pair of his oversized sweatpants and a hoodie. "It’s not much, but it’s comfortable," he said with a sheepish smile. "The bathroom’s down the hall."
I changed quickly, the warmth of the clothes enveloping me like a much-needed hug. When I returned to the living room, Seungkwan had set two steaming mugs of tea on the table. He sat cross-legged on the couch, patting the spot beside him.
I sat down, wrapping my hands around the mug and savoring the warmth. We sipped in comfortable silence for a while, the tension between us easing with every passing minute.
"Seungkwan," I said after a while, my voice soft. "I don’t think I ever told you how much you mean to me. You’ve always been there, and I… I don’t know what I would’ve done without you tonight."
He looked at me, his eyes reflecting something I hadn’t noticed before. There was something deeper there, something unspoken between us that I had been too afraid to acknowledge.
"You don’t have to say anything," he said quietly, setting his mug down and turning to face me. "I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. Whether it’s as your friend or…"
He trailed off, his gaze dropping to the floor. My heart skipped a beat, and suddenly, everything felt different. The air between us crackled with something new, something that had been there all along but had only just come into focus.
I swallowed, my voice barely above a whisper. "Or?"
Seungkwan hesitated for a moment, then looked up at me, his eyes full of vulnerability. "Or something more," he finished softly.
My breath caught in my throat. There it was, the thing I had been running from just as much as the wedding. The truth of it all. The real reason I had come here, the real reason I had trusted Seungkwan with everything.
"I think…" I started, my voice trembling, "I think I’ve always felt that way too."
His eyes widened, and for a moment, neither of us moved. But then, slowly, Seungkwan reached out and took my hand in his again, his fingers lacing through mine.
"You don’t have to decide anything tonight," he said softly. "But just know, I’m here. No matter what happens next."
I smiled, feeling the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. For the first time in what felt like forever, I wasn’t afraid of what came next.
Because I wasn’t alone. I had Seungkwan. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough to start again.
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            ‐Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶
                          -prettygirl-Gabi✨️🎀
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 7 months
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I know it’s been said so many times before by people more experienced and insightful than me, but I don’t think it’s inherently taking jobs last minute that was the issue, because that’s the nature of jobs in their respective industries and they both understood that. Like, it sucks to have your partner leave for months at a time but you can’t begrudge them that especially when they’re still establishing themselves.
But it’s what happened at home that I would bet was ultimately their undoing. Because it’s one thing to take a job last minute and be like “sorry babe I’m going to miss x” but then still show up in other ways (communicative eg on the phone, showing up at home when you’re there, supporting your partner’s dreams and ambitions, etc.). But it’s another to a) keep chasing your own ambitions (fair, needed, healthy) but b) resent your partner for chasing theirs or belittle the things they find important.
I doubt Taylor expected Joe to follow her around everywhere and it wasn’t (just) the physical absence that hurt. It was the emotional absence that stung and made things untenable. (Based off songs like YLM and even Hits Different and just, you know, ~vibes~.) It’s the whole making time to make things work thing — it just seems like one person was making all the time and the other wasn’t in recent years. There could be a million reasons why and we may find out in TTPD.
Seeing how supportive Taylor is in general, I have no doubt she empathized with his need to work and encouraged him to do so. I just feel like what we’re seeing and going to learn about is that when the roles were reversed, that same support wasn’t extended (or not as unconditionally) and that was what started to make her feel smaller and smaller. And I have a feeling that same lack of support may have extended to personal plans as well.
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alluralater · 4 months
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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.
#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking#up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being#positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge#her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being#there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is#everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and#without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need#reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is#unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i#up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to#do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind#yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not#survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us#has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting#her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want#her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or#much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3
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mars-ipan · 2 months
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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badolmen · 1 year
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Actually I think I’ll die mad at my bros high school girlfriend. I hope she gets stuck in stop-and-go traffic for an hour every time she travels for more than 20 minutes.
#ra speaks#personal#sorry I remembered her today randomly and it made my blood boil#one time my bro said she thought I didn’t like her which wasn’t true at the time but ohhh girly if I see you on the streets…#you’re getting the coldest shoulder of your life#I got a notif from Instagram randomly the other day abt her that’s what reminded me#she and him dated p much his entire high school career#and she had severe anxiety but was also highly social#so as a result my bro was always supporting her + basically only hung out w her friends and such#which like isn’t a bad thing even tho I think he should’ve tried to make his own friends and time for them#she needed support and someone to talk her down over the phone at 9 PM or whatever and he was willing to do that#she’s a year ahead of him so she goes to college. they both know long distance is gonna be a pain#so they mutually agree that if it doesn’t feel like it’s working out they’ll talk face to face for a break up#I think almost a year into a pretty steady long distance thing with regular phone calls and irl vacations together#(also the calls were so well scheduled we literally called it T*** Time whenever my bro dipped to call her)#anyways she doesn’t answer his calls or texts for a few days and then she BREAKS UP WITH HIM OVER TEXT#she ignores his attempts to call her/stops responding to his texts abt it bc they BOTH agreed to break up face to face#she cuts him off burned bridges everything overnight no warning#and THEN. THEN. she has her DAD (who’s become a bit of a family friend up until this point) BRING OVER EVERY GIFT AND HOODIE MY BRO EVER#GAVE HER. EVEN FRAMED PICTURES OF THEM TOGETHER. and that was it.#I’m still. so fucking pissed on his behalf. frankly amazed he didn’t turn into an incel-type out of spite#like WHAT THE HELL happened to make her turn and cut him off so quick??? they were going steady and my bro was devestated bc he legitimately#didn’t know if he said/did something to upset her and she wouldn’t respond to let him know WHY out of a sudden and vague ‘I don’t think this#is working out’ which like. GIRL YOU COULDNT HAVE DROPPED A HINT OR TWO??#idk it just feels like all the time he spent supporting her in high school/how much of HIS time was spent taking care of her#and exclusively socializing with HER friends (which he never really clicked w so to speak)#it’s like he was robbed of a fulfilling high school social life for nothing. to be dumped over text cold Turkey.#at least he has college friends now it only took him two years lol <- it took me four so I can’t judge
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webfactor · 4 months
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Wikipedia editors push offensive language to delegitimize some Native American Tribes
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Article Text As Follows:
Wikipedia editors push offensive language to delegitimize some Native American Tribes
By Sherry Robinson
Special to The Independent
ALBUQUERQUE — When Lily Gladstone won a Golden Globe and Oscar nomination for her role in “Killers of the Flower Moon,” the public recognized a Native American actress. But to Wikipedia readers, she is an American actress whose father was Blackfeet and Nez Perce and whose mother was white.
Three long-time editors at the online encyclopedia argued that even though Gladstone grew up on the Blackfeet reservation, she couldn’t be called Native American unless she was an enrolled member of the tribe. When Gladstone’s uncle weighed in to say she was enrolled, they dismissed his comments. She is still, in Wikipedia’s view, “an American actress.”
In recent years, outside of a national debate in Indian Country over fake tribes, a handful of Wikipedia editors have been deciding who is Native American and who isn’t.
Look behind the curtain of the sprawling site and you will find a network of 265,000 volunteer editors writing and editing within a Wiki universe that has its own rules, language, police and courts but no traditional hierarchy.
Wikipedia’s structure allows likeminded editors to work together, but it also permits editors with a bias to advance their agenda. The site has drawn criticism from media and academics for slanted articles on Blacks and Jews. Wikipedia documents its own systemic bias in an article by that name and attributes the problem to too few minority editors. The typical editor, it says, is a white male.
By Wikipedia's definition, the only real tribes are federally recognized; editors of Native American material denigrate state-recognized and unrecognized tribes and seem preoccupied with revealing fake Indians.
The fakes are out there, and they’re a problem. But there’s a big difference between people who invented a Native ancestry and people who have a long, documented heritage.
For this story, aggrieved tribal members didn’t identify themselves because they fear the site’s size and power – it reaches 1.8 billion devices a month – and some editors’ vindictiveness.
Behind the curtain
Wikipedia is transparent about its process. Click on “talk” at the top of each article and you find the (sometimes endless) debates among editors about an article and see the site’s rules in action.
Editors are anonymous because the Wikipedia Foundation has a strong commitment to privacy, says a spokesperson. However, readers don’t know what expertise editors have or whether they’re Native American.
Editors select their subject matter. With experience they can rise in the pecking order until they gain authority to reverse or eliminate the edits of others. They quote the site’s often arcane rules in Wiki-Speak to anyone who disagrees. While Wikipedia espouses objectivity, neutrality and civility, discussions can take the low road.
On Lily Gladstone’s talk page, a newish editor, user name Tsideh (Apache for bird), asked, “What are your sources supporting the idea that Native Americans are only those who are enrolled in a US recognized tribe?”
A Wiki editor, user name ARoseWolf, answered: “A notable subject can make a claim… but you must have that respective tribal nation’s acceptance as verification through enrollment."
Gladstone’s uncle wrote: “I’m a primary source for Ms. Gladstone’s tribal heritage. Her father is my brother. Through our father, we are both enrolled in the Blackfeet Tribe in the USA,” he wrote. “Our mother is enrolled Nez Perce. So Ms. Gladstone is a direct descendant of both Blackfeet and Nez Perce.”
ARoseWolf shot him down. “We can not use primary sources to verify such information and, you, as a claimed family member have a WP:COI which means we need an independent source.”
WP:COI is the Wikipedia rule on confl ict of interest. Wikipedia forbids primary sources, and yet they’re the gold standard for journalists and academics.
Tsideh challenged the position that only enrollment in a recognized tribe “entitles somebody to claim to be a Native American” as an unfounded, minority point of view that Wiki editors didn’t support with a citation or explanation.
ARoseWolf and others chastised Tsideh for violating Wiki rules on bullying, false accusations and arguing Wiki policy. Tsideh countered that Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t have to prove he was an Italian American, but Lily Gladstone had to prove she was a Native American.
As the back and forth continued, ARoseWolf slammed a new editor who "just happened to find this discussion,” a dig that implies one party enlisted another to join the debate. That too is a Wiki violation.
Bohemian Baltimore, another regular, insisted, “If she’s not enrolled, she may be a descendant, but she’s not a Native American.”
Who is Native American?
Terry Campbell, a Navajo born in Tuba City, Arizona, who lives out of state, has been studying Wikipedia for five months, after friends complained about poor treatment in trying to edit Wiki pages.
One friend wanted to add some facts to an article about a tribe. “These changes were rejected by a handful of editors who cited other Wikipedia pages as sources,” he said, “and I thought that was very, very odd.”
A friend citing sources that prove her tribe survived the Indian wars and received state recognition ran up against Wikipedia guidelines on determining Native American identities that were largely crafted by two editors, user names CorbieVreccan and Yuchitown. Wiki editors used the guidelines to reclassify dozens of state-recognized tribes as “heritage organizations” and removed “Native American” from biographies of prominent tribal members or, worse, called them a "self-identified Native American.”
The implication, Campbell explained, is that the tribe no longer exists and that its members are suspect or even “Pretendians.” Wikipedia has a page for that too.
The same group has shaped many articles on Native subjects. Campbell said he combed through references and found they were misrepresented, taken out of context, sourced from far-right academics, or unreliable.
“The scope of this issue is huge,” Campbell said. “It permeates all the Native articles I checked.”
Campbell recognized talking points from what he called a far-right movement in Indian Country intent on erasing state-recognized and unrecognized tribes. (New Mexico has no state-recognized tribes and six unrecognized groups or tribes.)
Some Native Americans and Anglos, he said, believe that Indigenous people outside the circle of federal recognition should be considered non-Native. They also want to prevent members of the disenfranchised groups from selling their art, receiving ancestral remains, accessing disaster relief or re-establishing their homeland.
Outside Indian Country, it’s not generally known that U.S. Indigenous groups live within a caste system based on government recognition, with 574 federally recognized tribes on top, dozens of state-recognized tribes second, and several hundred unrecognized tribes last.
In 2021, Yuchitown wrote, “The overwhelming majority of ‘List of unrecognized tribes in the United States’ are completely illegitimate.”
There are many reasons why groups aren’t recognized. Some avoided the reservation. Some lost their recognition during the termination era. Some were broken up and scattered during the Indian Wars. Some went underground, practicing their culture secretly while passing as Hispanic. Many simply stayed put.
When Wikipedia editors claim that “Native American” is a political status conferred by the U.S. government, that an individual can only be called a “descendent” until their tribe is recognized, they push this narrative, Campbell said. It’s a contradiction of federal Indian law and the United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.
According to the U.S. Department of Justice, “As a general principle, an Indian is a person who is of some degree Indian blood and is recognized as an Indian by a Tribe and/or the United States. No single federal or tribal criterion establishes a person’s identity as an Indian. Government agencies use differing criteria to determine eligibility for programs and services. Tribes also have varying eligibility criteria for membership.”
Extreme points of view
Campbell has contributed to a lengthy report, as yet unpublished, that identifies biased editors. They include Yuchitown, CorbieVreccan, ARoseWolf, Indigenous girl and Bohemian Baltimore.
“It was like a tree with many interconnecting branches that had been created over time by the same small group of people pushing extreme points of view,” Campbell said.
Initially the group made changes slowly, he said, “but they started pursuing their agenda aggressively after November, when state-recognized tribes retained their voting rights in the National Congress of American Indians (NCAI). Essentially, after the movement to delegitimize state-recognized tribes failed officially, the key players doubled down on altering and controlling the flow of information about Native Americans through Wikipedia.”
Campbell observed widespread violations of Wikipedia standards: “I found evidence that they blatantly misquoted and misrepresented sources to push extremist political beliefs; teamed up to manipulate the consensus system by voting in blocks; exploited Wikipedia rules, such as conflict of interest, to block outside editors from making changes to Native-related pages; excessively cited opinion pieces from fringe political figures, including those accused of racism and anti-semitism; blocked the use of legitimate primary and secondary sources that contradict their extremists beliefs, which violates Wikipedia’s rule against information suppression; posted originally researched, politically motivated essays instead of well-sourced articles; and harassed and defamed Native American tribes and living Native American people.”
Reacting in February to an early draft of the report posted on Google, the editors were incensed that anybody would voice complaints “off-Wiki.” ARoseWolf wrote that “we have been attacked, threatened with legal action and had misinformation/ false claims spread against us.” She and Yuchitown denied being part of a conspiracy against tribes or organizations and said they were just following Wiki rules. Yuchitown accused critics of being “meat puppets” of a person who objected to some Native content and enlisted others to back them up. In WikiSpeak this is meat puppetry.
“Volunteers on Wikipedia vigilantly defend against information that does not meet the site’s requirements,” the Wikipedia spokeswoman wrote. “These volunteers regularly review a feed of real-time edits to quickly address problematic changes; bots spot and revert many common forms of negative behavior on the site; and volunteer administrators (trusted Wikipedia volunteers with advanced permissions to protect Wikipedia) further investigate and address negative behavior. When a user repeatedly violates Wikipedia policies, Wikipedia administrators can take disciplinary action and block them from further editing.”
Inaccurate and insulting
In 2006, Wikipedia established the WikiProject Indigenous Peoples of North America to improve its Native-related content of 14,000 articles and more than 37,000 pages.
Recently, a hot topic on the project’s talk page was a proposal to change a category name from “unrecognized tribes” to “organizations that self-identify.”
On April 15 Melissa Harding Ferretti, chairwoman of the Herring Pond Wampanoag Tribe in Massachusetts, wrote, “The proposed renaming of the category on Wikipedia is not only inaccurate… but also insulting.”
Ferretti is one of the few Natives to take on Wiki editors openly.
Herring Pond was originally listed with other Wampanoag tribes. In 2022 Yuchitown stripped “state-recognized” from the page, even though the state Commission of Indian Affairs regularly engages with them. Last year Yuchitown created a separate page for Herring Pond. Wiki editors resisted attempts to make changes or corrections.
After Wikipedia called Herring Pond a “cultural heritage group" and a nonprofi t that "claims" to descend from Wampanoags, Ferretti wrote in a Wiki discussion, “There is no claim, it’s a fact! Might I add, nonprofit status was imposed upon Tribal nations in the ‘90s because we didn’t have our federal recognition yet.”
Her tribe has a well-documented history. “We still have care and custody of our sacred places, burial grounds and our 1838 Meetinghouse, one of three built for the Tribe after the arrival of the colonizers. Our continuous presence and stewardship of these lands are recognized by historical records, deeds and treaties.”
Ferretti wrote that tribes without federal recognition already face significant hurdles to gain recognition, "and being labeled as 'self-identified' can add to these challenges by casting doubt on our legitimacy.” Mislabeling unrecognized tribes “can lead to the spread of hate, misinformation and further marginalization.”
Some Wiki editors agreed. One wrote that “there are strong negative connotations to saying someone who is Native 'self identifies,' because the inference is that they are Native in name only or falsely claiming to be Native. A change like this will impact countless articles…” Bohemian Baltimore, ARoseWolf and Yuchitown insisted there were no negative connotations. They opposed calling an unrecognized group a tribe because it legitimized groups with unverified claims. ARoseWolf said, “If they had proof of their connection to the original people they would have gotten federal recognition.”
This is a frequent refrain among the insiders, who apparently think the application process is a slam dunk instead of the long, difficult, expensive journey it is.
Yuchitown noted that “all of the editors who actively contribute to and improve Native American topics on Wikipedia have voted to support the renaming.” It’s a remarkable declaration that he and his allies act in concert.
The insiders took even stronger action against Lipan Apaches in Texas.
Late in 2022, Yuchitown changed the entry of the Lipan Apache Tribe of Texas to say that NCAI recognizes the tribe as state-recognized but the National Conference of State Legislatures (NCSL) does not. In fact, NCSL took down its web page listing federal and state-recognized tribes because it couldn’t verify the accuracy.
In boilerplate that appears on all the Texas unrecognized tribes’ websites, Yuchitown said Texas has no legal mechanism to recognize tribes, citing an online article that in turn cites the discredited NCSL web page.
In 2022, a tribal member and Yuchitown fought back and forth, reversing each other’s edits. In WikiSpeak, it was edit warring. The tribal member informed Yuchitown that the NCSL page he quoted no longer existed. CorbieVreccan told the member she was up against “two experienced editors,” and Yuchitown accused her of conflict of interest and edit warring. His fellow travelers demanded to know if she had an official position with the tribe. She didn’t.
ARoseWolf wrote, “As Wikipedia is not a state or government-controlled entity it can make up its own rules for what content is allowed on its platform.”
The Wikimedia spokeswoman says that in some extreme cases the foundation relies on a trust and safety team that will investigate and may also take action.
Campbell wrote in the report that many Native American communities and people “have been targeted by the small group of propagandists in this complaint… And the thousands of people who make these communities have been slandered and assaulted on Wikipedia through the actions of these propagandists.”
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lavenderspence · 3 months
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Bump Relief - S.R.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Content warning: fluff, pregnant reader
Word Count: 1.8K
Summary: Making you comfortable while you're pregnant is his number one priority, so he decides to give JJ's little trick a try
Request: maybe Spencer hearing from JJ or reading somewhere that holding the baby bump relieves the mother and decides to try it on his girlfriend/wife? 
A/N: So a few days ago, I asked for short requests because I was dying to write something short. I sat down to write, and it got a little longer than I anticipated(I have no excuse). It's a known fact I can't write anything short, so I don't know why I try. I was going to post this tomorrow, but I really needed the serotonin I get from posting a fic, so enjoy! 
Requests are open for both Spencer & Hotch🫶
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Spencer was twirling a pen between his fingers, deep in thought. All of his thoughts were about you because of course they were. 
He thought about you while he fell in love, proposed, and watched you walk down the aisle towards him. You occupied every waking moment when he wasn’t focused on his work, friends and mother, or hobbies. You were a constant in his life, and have been for years. 
But he’d been thinking about you a lot more in the last 6 months, and especially the last few days. About you, and the little angel.
At 34 weeks pregnant, you were glowing from the inside, just as beautiful as you’d been in your wedding dress. Or that’s what Spencer saw when he looked at you. 
But along with all the beauty of growing your little one came the few negatives, some of which he couldn’t help but notice too. How you hadn’t been wearing your wedding rings since the start of your third trimester. 
Or the light sheen of sweat on your brow just going up the stairs to your apartment. Or even the discomfort at the small of your back from carrying all the weight around. The small winces he heard coming from you, along with the scrunch in your eyes and nose. 
He wanted to take a part of your discomfort and bear it as his own. He’d watched you grow this little bean inside you for months, fight the morning sickness, and the only thing he’d been able to do was hold your hair and rub your back, watching as you suffered through it. 
Or the changes in your body, your clothes not fitting, or sometimes feeling like an outsider in your own skin. He’d been able to offer reassuring words, and kisses laid across your whole body, any point that sparked an insecurity in you - worshiped. 
He’d wake up in the middle of the night to satisfy your weird food cravings, or even the desire to have him as a snack. 
He’d been to every appointment with you - held your hand, wiped your tears, or kissed the crown of your head. You’d heard the heartbeat together, where he’d spoken in your ear, thankful to you for giving him the greatest gift of all to come in a few short months - being a dad. Something he’d wished for, for years, sometimes even thinking he’d never get to experience it. 
But that’s as far as he could help you and god, he wished he could do more. 
He didn’t hear JJ approaching and wasn’t even paying attention when she called his name out softly. And then again, and again. 
Snapping her fingers in front of his face worked like a charm though. 
“Yes?” He asked, after a light shake of his head to clear his thoughts. 
“Where’d you go Spence?” She leaned against his desk, giving his shoulder a small squeeze in support, “Everything okay?” 
“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s good,” He didn’t look or sound convincing, and watching JJ’s brow arch in question, he sighed, “Well, okay, not everything.” 
“What’s going on? Are Y/N and the baby okay?” She asked a frantic worry in her voice.
“They’re good and healthy,” Spencer confirmed, watching her let a sigh of her own. He decided then and there to seek her advice. She was his friend, and seeing as she’d been a mom twice now, she knew exactly what you were going through. 
“She’s been feeling uncomfortable, carrying the weight of the little bean around,” He smiled, simply mentioning his child softened everything within him, “And I see her trying not to show it that much, but it’s clearly exhausting her even more, and I wish there was something I could do to help, you know?” He sounded so small at that moment, rubbing his wedding band, feeling like he was failing you somehow. 
He knew that wasn’t possible, you told him daily how proud you were of him and everything he did and has done for you, but even now, he couldn’t help but worry sometimes. 
“Well, there’s this one thing that worked wonders for me when I was pregnant with Henry, and Michael too.” She started before she shared her little secret.
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You breathed in deep, moving around yet again, and then exhaled a long breath. 
Your couch was one of the most comfortable things in the apartment - at least it had been before you’d started popping. Now it felt more like the most uncomfortable piece of furniture ever, but you knew that was just your inability to get comfortable - well, anywhere really. 
It was a struggle finding a way to feel good, but not like your baby was sitting on your bladder, or putting more pressure on your back than needed. You had roughly 6 more weeks to go, but you already felt about ready to pop. 
Your bean was grown in size - with a tall daddy like your husband, you weren’t even that surprised. You somehow knew that they’d take even more than his height - you hoped they’d inherit his best characteristics too. His love for learning, his calmness, and most of all his heart. Maybe his hair too - you loved his hair. And his smile. God you simply loved him.
You couldn’t wait for him to get home - the only time you felt like your whole body could relax was whenever he was with you, one hand or both thrown over your bump in a protective manner, talking to you and your baby quietly. 
You tried a few more times to get comfortable, a few different positions - leaning on your left, your right, or even with your back straight, and nothing worked.  
Another deep exhale left you and you simply gave up - lying on your back and praying for no uncomfortable sensations for at least a few minutes. 
Just as you felt your eyes droop - you wanted a few minutes to simply breathe - you felt a little kick to your left. It didn’t hurt, luckily for you, your little one seemed to be a pretty calm, small bundle so it wasn’t often any cry for attention left you rattled.
You did let out a little chuckle, rubbing the spot. As you rubbed at your stomach, small kick after small kick under your hand, you heard a key being inserted into the lock - the door opening and closing, keys rattling on the key hanger next to the door. 
“Sweetheart? Where are my girls?” He asked, as you heard the familiar sounds of him hanging his jacket and satchel, and taking off his shoes. You’d decided the gender would be a surprise, but Spencer insisted that it was a girl - you had a feeling he wanted to be a girl dad. 
You raised a hand, waving in the direction of the door, not wishing to move now, “We’re here, love.”
You didn’t attempt to push yourself up, you just stayed where you were, rubbing your belly and waiting for your husband to make his way over. 
Sure enough, just a few seconds later he was kneeling next to the couch close to your head, moving pieces of hair away from your face.
“Hi.” He whispered before he leaned down and laid a series of small kisses all over your face - one on each cheek, one on your forehead and nose, finishing with a gentle press of his lips against yours. It still made a small shiver run through you, just like it always did.
“Hi.” You returned when he pulled away, watching him as he leaned towards your belly then, kissing just next to where your hands were still sitting. A kick followed his kiss like your baby knew it was his daddy having returned from work. 
“Hi, little love.” It was his little nickname for them, and you loved it. You ran a hand through his hair then, soft and thick to the touch. 
With his hand sitting next to yours, wedding band gleaming in the light, he pulled you into another small kiss. His face was inches away from yours. 
“Can you stand up for a second, love?” He was whispering, content in keeping you three in a small bubble of touch and soft words. 
“Why?” It sounded like a whine, but in your defense, everything felt more comfortable than before now that he was there. 
His eyes softened then, understanding written all over his face, and a small smile on his slightly chapped lips too. 
“Just want to try something JJ suggested. Please? It’s going to feel good, I promise.” He kissed your brown in reassurance, and promise. 
You sighed again, allowing him to pull you up. 
“If I hate this, you have to go get me those super sour lemon candies from the candy store on the other side of town, okay?” You bargained with him. You’ve been craving those since last night, but he’d been going out on a limp for your every whim and you wanted to cool it for a day or two and allow him some time to breathe. 
He smiled softly, hand on your lower back, moving up and down. 
“Okay, sour lemon candy it is.”
“What are we doing again?” 
“Okay, I’m going to settle behind you, and I want you to lean your upper body against me, lay your head on my shoulder,” He instructed, moving behind you, hands on your hips just like he’d told you to do. His scent filled your nostrils, and you moved your head to the side to nuzzle his neck. He kissed your head, “Okay, now relax, and let me do all the work, yeah?” Again, soft, in a whisper. 
“What work -” You started before you felt his hands settle underneath your bump, holding onto it, and allowing the weight to fall on his hands instead of falling on you. You felt light like you were no longer carrying your little bean, but instead, it was safely nestled into his father’s arms. A half sigh-half moan left you, so relieved,  thankful in that moment, to JJ and to your husband. 
“Good?” He asked. Tears gathered in your eyes, so overwhelmed by the reprieve. You nodded, just a tiny bit choked up at that moment. 
“So, so good. Thank you.” You said, one hand moving to cup gently around his, face once again burying into his neck. You couldn’t believe the universe had granted you this man to be by your side for years to come. This dedicated, adorable, kindhearted man, and all his care. 
He rubbed his thumb against your bump, feeling your little girl kick against him, and he kissed your hair, holding you both, doing his very best to help in any way he could. Just like he always would. 
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Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!
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reidsworld · 1 month
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Patience Wears Thin
Summary: Logan’s flirty behaviour has you thinking he’s just being sarcastic. But when his attitude changes and his grumpiness intensifies, leading to him avoiding you, you confront him, only for him to finally snap. Based on this request.
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Fem!Mutant!Reader
Category: Smut
Content Warnings: Reader’s oblivious, mild language, sexual tension, slight jealous!logan, making out, hickeys, oral sex(m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it), creampie, (semi) public sex (you’ll see what I mean), no use of Y/N, pet names (darlin’) — you are responsible for the content you consume, if you are not comfortable with any of these warnings or are a minor, DNI!!
Word Count: 2.9k
Mars speaks… It's been a while since I’ve posted but here we are!! Thank you for the request, this was kinda tough for me to write and didn’t really turn out how I wanted it but I hope it meets your expectations! The reader is a mutant but her powers aren’t specified. Any and all feedback is always appreciated!
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You were used to Logan’s gruffness, but lately, something had changed. At first, it was little things—him hanging around more often, offering to help with tasks that didn’t need his strength, or staying close by even when you were just making coffee. You noticed the way his hand would brush against yours when passing you something or how he’d rest his hand on your shoulder a little longer than necessary. Despite all of his actions, he was still cold around you, seemingly never able to escape his own grumpiness.
One evening, as you were getting ready for a date, Logan wandered by your room. His mood was clearly off as he knocked leaned against your door frame, his eyes closed and head tilted down. When you greeted him, he slowly looked you up and down. His expression shifted from frustration to shock as he took in how stunning you looked.
“Damn,” Logan said, his voice cold and deep, if you didn’t know him, you would’ve sworn he hated you. “You look incredible. Got a big night planned?”
You glanced up from the mirror, surprised by his comments. “Oh, I have a date tonight,” you replied with a smile, still adjusting your dress.
Logan’s eyes darkened slightly as he processed your words. “A date, huh?”
“Yep,” you said, focusing on your reflection. “I’m just trying to pick the right outfit.”
He pushed himself off the door frame, his gaze still fixed on you. “You don’t need to be worried about impressing anyone tonight, darlin’. Trust me, you look incredible.”
You laughed, thinking he was just being his usual flirtatious self. “Thanks, Logan. But it’s just dinner. Nothing too serious.”
Logan’s jaw tightened, and he took a step back, his demeanour now distant. “Right. Well, have fun.”
You smiled at him, not noticing the shift in his attitude. “Thanks. I’ll see you later.”
As you left for your date, Logan watched you go, his face a mask of frustration and disappointment. The knowledge that you were going out with someone else hit him hard, and his mood darkened.
You were left puzzled by his sudden change in behaviour. However, in Logan’s mind, if you were going out with someone else, you clearly didn’t want him, so why should he put effort into a losing game?
But you didn’t think much of his compliments, chalking it up to Logan trying to be supportive. Until one day, you noticed something different—he started avoiding you.
It began with him skipping out on the usual training sessions you shared. Then, he stopped joining you for movie nights in the common room, always coming up with a vague excuse that didn’t make sense. He’d disappear for hours, not even leaving a trace of his familiar scent behind. The final straw was when he didn’t show up for your breakfast dates (well… that’s what they were to him), a ritual he never missed. It was confusing, and you couldn’t figure out what had changed.
You asked him once, in passing, if something was wrong. His answer was clipped, dismissive. “Nothin’ for you to worry about, darlin’.”
But you were worried. His behaviour was off, and no matter how much you replayed your interactions in your mind, you couldn’t pinpoint what had triggered this sudden shift.
A few days later, you walked into the kitchen to find Logan grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. Relief washed over you—this was the first time you’d seen him in days without him immediately bolting. But when you greeted him, he barely grunted in response, not meeting your eyes.
“Logan, seriously,” you said, trying to sound casual but unable to keep the concern out of your voice. “What’s going on? You’ve been avoiding me.”
His jaw clenched, and he didn’t respond right away, his eyes fixed on the bottle in his hand. “Just been busy.”
“Busy?” You frowned, crossing your arms. “Too busy to even say hello?”
He looked up at you then, his eyes hard. “Yeah, busy. I don’t have time for games, alright?”
“Games?” you echoed, thrown off by the accusation. “What are you talking about? I’m not playing any games, Logan.”
He let out a frustrated huff, shaking his head as he pushed past you, brushing your shoulder as he went. “Forget it.”
That was it? He was clearly upset, but he wouldn’t talk to you about it. It didn’t make sense. You stood there, staring at the spot where he’d just been, confusion and hurt swirling inside you. Logan was the last person you expected to act like this—especially toward you.
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A few more days passed, and the tension between you only grew. Logan’s avoidance became more blatant, and every time you tried to approach him, he’d find a way to leave before you could say anything. You started to wonder if you’d done something to upset him, but every time you asked, he brushed you off with a noncommittal grunt or a sarcastic remark.
It was driving you crazy.
Now you were sitting alone in the common room, you and Logan somehow being the only two in the mansion with everyone else out on various missions and overnight school trips. As you attempted to watch a movie to take your mind off things, Logan’s absence gnawed at you. He was always here for movie nights, even if he’d just sit silently in the corner. The emptiness of his usual spot was glaring, a constant reminder that something had shifted between you.
You couldn’t take it anymore. You needed to confront him, to find out what the hell was going on.
When you walked into the gym, your eyes immediately found Logan, his muscular form sitting on a raised bench, sweat glistening on his skin. He didn’t acknowledge your presence, focusing on his workout with an intensity that made your stomach twist.
“Logan,” you called out, your voice firmer than you felt.
He paused, setting the dumbbells down with a heavy thud before finally looking at you. “What?”
“What is your problem?” you demanded, stepping closer, not giving him a chance to escape this time. “You’ve been avoiding me like the plague, and I want to know why.”
Logan’s expression darkened, his jaw clenching as he grabbed a towel, wiping the sweat off his face. “Maybe I’m just tired of tryin’,” he muttered, his voice low.
“Trying what?” You crossed your arms, frustration boiling over. “Logan, you’re not making any sense. You’ve been acting like I did something wrong, but I don’t even know what that is!”
His eyes flashed with something you couldn’t quite place—anger, maybe? But there was something else too, something deeper that made your heart race.
“You really don’t get it, do you?” he growled, stepping closer to you, his presence overwhelming.
“Get what?” you shot back, refusing to back down even though his proximity was making it hard to think straight.
Logan huffed, his hand running through his hair in a rare display of frustration. “I’ve been tryin’ to show you, but you’re too damn blind to see it.”
“Show me what?” You were at your wit’s end, the tension between you thick enough to cut with a knife.
His eyes bore into yours, intense and unyielding. “That I want you, darlin’. I’ve wanted you for a long damn time, and I’m sick of you not seein’ it.”
You stared at him, stunned into silence. This was the last thing you expected him to say. Logan—gruff, no-nonsense Logan—wanted you? The thought was so far from anything you’d ever imagined that you couldn’t even process it.
“You…you want me?” you finally managed to ask, your voice barely a whisper.
His hands clenched into fists at his sides, the frustration in his eyes palpable. “I’ve been tryin’ to show ya, but you keep thinkin’ I’m just bein’ a grumpy bastard.”
You blinked, completely floored by his confession. “Logan, I…I didn’t know. I thought…”
“Thought I was messin’ with ya?” he finished for you, his voice rough, almost bitter. “That’s why I’ve been avoidin’ ya—figured if you couldn’t see it by now, I was just wastin’ my time.”
The weight of his words hit you like a ton of bricks. You hadn’t seen it, not because you didn’t want to, but because the idea that Logan could feel that way about you seemed impossible. And now, standing here, with him staring at you like you were the only person in the world, you realised how wrong you’d been.
“Logan, I’m sorry,” you whispered, your heart pounding in your chest. “I didn’t know. I never thought…”
“Don’t apologise,” he cut you off, his voice softer now, but still edged with frustration. “I’m just done waitin’, darlin’. I can’t keep doin’ this—dancin’ around it, hopin’ you’ll figure it out.”
You took a shaky breath, the intensity of his gaze making it hard to think. “What do you want, Logan?”
He stepped closer, his hand reaching out to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip in a way that made your knees weak. “You, darlin’. I’ve always wanted you.”
Before you could respond, his lips were on yours, rough and demanding, as if he was trying to make up for all the time lost in that one kiss. The force of it stole your breath, your hands automatically reaching up to clutch his shoulders as you kissed him back just as fiercely.
Logan’s grip on you tightened, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing your lips until you parted them, letting him in. The taste of him—smoke, whiskey, and something unmistakably Logan—filled your senses, making your head spin.
He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his breathing ragged, his pupils blown wide with desire. “Still think I’m jokin’?”
You shook your head, your heart racing, your thoughts scattered. “No,” you breathed out.
“Good,” he murmured, his lips ghosting over yours before he started kissing his way down your jaw, his stubble scraping deliciously against your skin. “’Cause I’m gonna show you exactly how much I want you.”
His mouth found the sensitive spot just below your ear, his tongue flicking out to taste your skin before he bit down gently, making you gasp. Your hands fisted in his shirt, needing something to hold on to as his hands moved to your thighs, lifting you and moving to sit on the bench. Your legs desperately straddled him, pulling him closer.
Logan’s hands were everywhere—sliding under your shirt, tracing the curve of your waist, skimming up your ribs, his touch igniting a fire in you that you hadn’t realised was there. He was careful, almost reverent, despite the rough edge to his movements, as if he was holding himself back from completely losing control.
When his hands found your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples through the fabric of your bra, you arched into him, a whimper escaping your lips. He growled, the sound low and primal, as his mouth found yours again, his kiss fierce and demanding.
You could feel the hardness of him pressing against your core, the friction sending waves of pleasure through you, and you couldn’t help but rock your hips against him, seeking more.
Logan’s response was immediate, his hands gripping your hips as you ground against him, his mouth devouring yours as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge. You were lost in the sensation, in the heat and the intensity of him, and it was all you could do to hold on.
Just when you thought you might lose yourself completely, Logan pulled back, his breathing ragged, his eyes wild as he looked up at you. “Tell me to stop,” he rasped, his voice strained, as if it was taking everything in him to hold back. “Tell me to stop, and I will.”
But the last thing you wanted was for him to stop. You shook your head, your voice breathless as you whispered, “Don’t stop.”
Logan let out a low, feral sound, his lips crashing against yours again as he ripped off your shirt. His patience had worn thin, and now there was no turning back. As your lips roughly moulded together, tongues battling for dominance, your hands slid under his tank-top, brushing over his abs. You pulled away, taking off his shirt, jaw dropping at the sight of his glistening body from the sweat of his workout.
“Holy shit, you should be shirtless more often…”
He didn’t respond, his hand grabbing the back of your neck to pull you into another kiss. Your hands trailed down his chest, fingers sliding down his happy trail. Climbing off him, you dropped down to your knees in front of him. He raised his hips as you pulled down his sweatpants and boxers, his dick springing out and slapping against his stomach.
You didn’t give him time to process what was happening as you immediately licked a stripe up his dick before taking the head into your mouth, tongue brushing against the tip, making him throw his head back against the bench and groan.
Your hands gently massaged his balls as your mouth focused on the head of his cock, gently sucking as his hand moved to gather your hair into a make-shift ponytail. You lowered your head, taking more of him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks.
Looking up through your lashes, your eyes met with his while you began to move your head up and down faster, your hands touching whatever couldn’t fit into your mouth. You continued this until your jaw was aching and his dick was twitching in your mouth.
He began to gently thrust into your mouth, making you gag as he hit the back of your throat. One of your hands slid down into your shorts, rubbing your clit before pushing a finger into your dripping pussy.
“Fuck, so good darlin’,” he grunted as you moaned around him, slipping another finger into yourself.
“If you don’t stop now, m’gonna cum, wanna feel you ‘round me.”
He pulled you off of him, revelling in your dishevelled appearance. You stood up, and pulled off your shorts and panties. You reached behind you, unclipping your bra, letting it slide off your body. His eyes trailed up and down your body admiring you. You bit your lip at the way his eyes shined with something that you couldn’t quite put your finger on but you never wanted him to stop looking at you like that.
You silently moved to straddle him, pulling him into a slow kiss as your bare core grinded against his cock. One of his hands wrapped around you, trailing up and down your back as you both sat there, grinding against each other. His other hand reached down and grabbed your hip.
You raised your hips as you reached for his cock, positioning at your entrance before slowly sinking down onto him. You leaned forward and he fell back against the bench and buried your face in his neck, letting out a simultaneous moan as you stretched around him. You stayed still, adjusting to his size, panting into his neck, making him harder than he thought possible.
Once you were ready, you slowly raised your hips before sinking back down onto him. His hands moved to grip your hips as you began to ride him, gently helping you. You kissed him roughly, moaning into his mouth as his hips thrust up to meet yours.
The room was filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin and the loud moans and groans coming out of your mouths. In that moment, neither of you cared where you were— that there was a chance someone could easily walk in on you even though it was just the two of you in the mansion. All you two cared about was the feeling of him inside of you and how you wrapped so tightly around him.
He let out a rough groan as your lips met his neck, biting into it when his hips met yours. Bouncing on his dick, you clenched around him, making him let out an almost feral sound.
“Oh fuck don’t stop, wrapped so tightly ‘round me, s’like you were made for me.”
“‘M all yours, Lo.”
“Shoulda never avoided you, shoulda just manned up and kissed you, ‘stead of waiting ‘round for you to realise that I want you.”
If you weren’t so desperate for him, you would’ve laughed but all you could do was moan and nod into his neck.
“‘M gonna cum, Lo.”
“Give it to me, darlin’.”
His hand reached to roughly circle your clit, sending you over the edge. You moaned out as a feeling of ecstasy overcame you and your vision went white. Your body slumped against his but his thrusts were relentless. As they got sloppier, you could feel his dick twitch inside of you, making you moan.
“I’m so close, need to cum inside you.”
His mouth pressed against your neck, marking you like a blank canvas for everyone to see later. He pounded up into you, his hand still rubbing your clit causing you to cum for a second time. You tightened around him, making him shoot his cum deep inside you.
His thrusts slowed, fucking you through it as you both panted, trying to catch your breath. His movements came to a stop and he titled his head back, letting out a deep breath.
You raised your head, looking into his eyes and laughing,
“I can’t believe I could’ve had this so much sooner if I wasn’t so obvious.”
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Mars speaks… (again) woah that got… 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂
Tags… @pastelpinkflowerlife
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nope-body · 1 year
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#so my dad gets angry a lot#and just. I don’t like it#it pushes everyone apart so they don’t set him off#it means that if I wanted to ask for his help on something I can’t or I have to spend the entire time placating him#it makes everyone more tense#I get scared#if he needs something from me I’ll usually end up getting yelled at#and my mom just stands there and lets it happen and backs him up sometimes!#you are the adults. you are the ones who should be recognizing that this is not right and fixing it#I told my last therapist that I didn’t think they’d ever really change and she said to give them a chance#she was a good therapist but this was one thing she was wrong about#their own therapist dropped them because they weren’t making any progress! I didn’t even know that was a thing therapists did!#i just. I’m the adult here. I’m the one who is caring for and supporting my sister#I’m the one who is keeping everyone from yelling at dinner#I may not have the monetary responsibilities of an adult but I’m the only one acting like an adult in this house#my sister said she’d rather have me as a parent than our parents and like.#it’s because I’m the one who always ends up looking out for her. we don’t always get along but I always care and do my best to show it#and that’s something our parents just don’t do#I’m so fucking tired of being mature for my age#i just want parents who can be parents so I can be a sibling to my sister instead of a half parent#I want parents who can be parents so that I have someone to talk to about my issues. someone to lean on. who will care about me#i just want parents who are there
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sluttysnowangel666 · 1 month
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Northern Attitude - cregan stark x reader
Summary: Cregan’s wife feels he is a cold and distant husband, but he finds a way to show her just how much he loves her. he doesn’t mean to be cold it’s just his northern attitude 😏
cw: smutttttyyyyyyy it was almost fluff but i just can’t help myself lol. reader slaps cregan a few times, (not abusively im just a freak😔), size diff, oral (f & m receiving), spanking, porn with little plot
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Cregan Stark loved and adored his wife. Perhaps he loved her almost too much, as he avoided doing anything that might tarnish her as a lady.
He did not share his chambers with her, even though that was the custom in the North. He rarely touched her, aside from their rather delicate bedding ceremony after their union. And, he rarely spoke to her, as he was too afraid of saying anything that may disrespect her.
His wife found this agonizing.
Their union had, of course, been one out of duty but it didn’t change the fact Cregan had been more interested in her than any other maiden in the North. Her father, Lord Mooton, had offered her hand years ago when Cregan’s father Rickon still ruled the North, but his father felt Cregan should one day make that decision on his own when he became Warden of the North.
Cregan had met her when they were both ten and three, when his father Rickon hosted a feast for all of the Northern lords to come and celebrate the end of a particularly harsh winter.
She was timid and quiet, but they shared a dance and then she had never left Cregan’s mind since.
Now, some odd years later, she was his wife and he was delighted. However, his wife believed to think their union was misery for him.
Their first bedding was ever so gentle, Cregan lightly caressing her hair and cheeks, yet he held his head low into her neck to contain his moans. Her sweet whines and whimpers made him want to go feral, yet he dared not defile his wife.
She was still the quiet girl he fell in love with all those years ago. She sat next to him silently during feasts and trips to other houses, almost like a pet that only acts when called upon. When she did attempt to make conversation with her husband, his words were short and dry. She knew Northern men were often of few words, but she did not expect her union to be that way. If he was so cold, why had he chosen her specifically? The thought frustrated her greatly.
It was not his intention to be this way. It was just how his father was, and he couldn’t help but learn that behavior.
When Cregan learned he would have to make a moon’s trip to the Wall, he wanted to make sure his wife would be in well hands before leaving.
Knock. Knock. Knock
“You may enter.” She said, softly.
She turned as her husband entered her chambers, dressed in his furs and armor. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He closed the door behind him, then stepped a few paces closer inside her chambers.
“Are you leaving?” She asked, trying to hide the frustration in her voice.
“I must go to the Wall; the men there are in dire need of supplies and support. I plan to bring any prisoners of Winterfell to clear up our cells so that they may take the black.” He says, walking to sit across from her in front of the hearth. He admires her soft gray gown. Her hair was in Northern braids, out of her face so that it was revealing her delicate features. Her eyebrows knitted again, something he noticed she did when she was upset.
“Will you be alright to rule in my stead while I am gone?” He asks.
“I will be fine, husband.” She responds, curtly.
“If you feel unsure, I can-“ He asks, wanting to make sure she feels comfortable enough, but she cannot hide her anger anymore.
“I said I will be fine! Just go, and leave me alone as you always do!” She yells, standing and walking away from their seats at the fire place.
“Have I offended?” He asks, following behind her. He rests a hand on her shoulder, but she turns to face him and pushes it away.
“No. You’ve made your point to not offend at all, in fact. We’ve been wed for three moons, you’ve only taken me to your bed once, and you refuse to even acknowledge that I’m here. You avoid me like the plague, Cregan. Have I been the one that has done something to offend?” She asks, her voice thick with anger.
He can’t help but let out a dry laugh, “Apologies, my wife,” He takes her hands in his, and she nearly gasps in shock at his touch. “You must forgive my northern attitude, I was raised on little light.”
“You seem to forget I’m Northern as well, husband.” She says, finally catching his eyes for the first time in their marriage. A small smirk plays on his lips.
“My wife, you are such a beauty, and if I am a distant husband then I apologize for that. It is no fault of your own. I simply do not wish to… treat you any less than a lady deserves, but it seems I have gotten too lost on the way. I apologize for my errors, Lady Stark.” He rubs his fingers gently over her hands. She doesn’t know how to respond, a dry chuckle escaping her lips. All this time, all she wanted was some hint that Cregan Stark had any sort of emotions or feelings, and here was her confirmation. He did, and by the old gods and the new did he have many for her.
“When I return, my dear wife,” His finger traces her jawline. “I promise you that I will treat you with the respect you want and deserve. In the meantime, I do beg for your forgiveness. This is my first union.”
She lets out another dry chuckle. “It’s mine as well.”
He presses a gentle kiss to her cheek. “I will send a raven the moment I reach Castle Black.”
With that he turns to leave…
But she isn’t done with him.
Cregan is almost sure it didn’t happen, he hardly even felt a breeze through his furs, but when he hears the sound of metal on the floor he knows she threw something at him.
He turns to look at the mug on the floor, then to his wife, bewildered. “Did you just throw a chalice at me?”
“Your lady has not given you permission to leave.” She says, “I want the wolf I was promised.” She continues, standing across the room.
“What?” He asks, confused. She throws another mug at him, but he deflects it this time. “Stop, what- What are you doing?!”
He holds his arms up to shield himself as his wife throws more and more objects from him, including her boots, candelabras, books, nearly anything she can get her hands on.
He walks towards her, angry, ready to… he doesn’t even know, perhaps frighten her into stopping.
She places his hand on his chest when he’s finally in her reach. She takes his hand, pressing it to her chest to tear off her gown. He lets his hand go limp, but she makes him do the work anyway. He’s too confused to understand because she was just so angry with him. She lets his hand fall and begins to take off the dress herself. It falls to the floor off her body, and then she is standing naked before him.
“My lady-“ She cuts him off with a harsh slap across his face. He stares back at her, his jaw slack.
She does it again, his head barely even moving at her hand. It wasn’t the pain (there was none), but the act that was pissing him off.
She goes for a third, but he grabs her by the wrist before she can reach him.
“This is your only warning, my dear wife.” He says, holding her small wrist in his hand.
“Or what?” She teases. It was that response; that sultry, lustful, desperate response that makes him realize she was teasing him. She was aching for him, eager for her husband before he left her.
He doesn’t move, staring her down with a fire burning in his gray eyes. Her other hand finds his other cheek again, and his length grows stiff in his leathers.
He lets go of her wrist, only to grab her by the waist and toss her on her bed. She gasps as she lands, giggling shortly after.
He climbs over her, resting his weight on his hands and leaning in to give her a deep and tender kiss. She moans, immediately pulling his head closer and weaving her fingers in his curls. He moans in response, his hand finding its way to her breast.
“I’ll make it up to you, wife.” Cregan says, pressing kisses on her cheek before moving down her body. He kisses every part, before resting between her legs. His hands wrap around her thighs, kissing and licking softly just outside her wetness.
She whines, wiggling around only for him to press a hand on her stomach to keep her still. He pulls her onto his lips, and she lets out a sigh of ecstasy. He’s harsh and unrelenting on her cunt, unlike how she’s ever felt before. Her pleads for him fall upon death ears as Cregan realizes just how hungry he was for her.
He wanted to say fuck the journey, fuck the Wall, fuck the North, fuck everything. He wanted to die here, in this sweet and delightful cunt of his wife’s. Her fingers lace into his brown curls, pulling on them tightly, and he whimpers at the sweet pain.
Her eyes water as she draws closer to her climax, the feeling so foreign and unique that she doesn’t know how to react.
“Husband, oh gods.” She cries. She grinds her hips onto his face, and he lets her lead. He locks his eyes onto hers, but that fiery look in his eyes makes her break first, and she throws her head back as she releases onto his lips.
He kisses her thighs as she comes down, a trembling mess in his strong arms. He kisses his way up her bare body, until he’s face to face with her. Her eyes are closed tight as she attempts to catch her breath.
“Will you stop throwing things at me now until I return, my dear?” He asks, gently.
She opens her eyes to look at him, “Where has my wolf been hiding this whole time?”
“In his den.” He gets off the bed and stands, prepared to take his leave when she grabs his wrist.
“You wish to go before I can return the favor?” She asks.
“You needn’t do such thing.” He says, not wanting to cross too many boundaries.
“You’re too modest.” She says, pulling him back towards her by the band of his leathers. He wants to push her off, but can’t. She unlaces his breeches, then stands from the bed to remove his cloak and furs.
“My men are waiting for me, wife.”
“What’s a few more minutes to the Warden of the North?” She says, lowly. She undresses him, from his armor down to his small clothes.
She kisses down his chest, as he just did to her moments prior. She slowly takes him into her mouth, licking and sucking on his length.
Cregan groans, his hand instinctively finding its grip in her hair. She whimpers at the sudden pull, and he immediately loosens it.
“Don’t stop. I like it.” She whispers against him. He obliges, pushing her head deeper onto him.
���Fuck.” Cregan moans in the air, his voice rising an octave. He’s almost embarrassed at how desperate he sounds. “Please, wife, just like that.”
His hands gently rest on the sides of her head, his fingers woven into her hair as she slobbers onto him.
“My husband is more needy than me.” She whispered, and gods was she right. Cregan had grown to regret being so coy with his wife the past few months.
“The gods have blessed me with you, my wife.” He moans, and she smirks onto him. She finally had him right where she wanted him.
“Then bless me in return.” She says, pulling away and leaning back on the bed, spreading her legs to bare her sweet cunt to him. He moans at the sight alone. He crawls over her, positioning his length along her entrance. She eagerly wiggles her hips, only for him to push her hips down.
“Patience, little wife.” He says.
“I’ve been patient for three months. I fucking want you, Cregan.” She pushes him onto his back beside her. She mounts him, sliding herself down onto him. Cregan moans loudly, and she smirks.
She ignores the aching stretch, immediately grinding her hips against him. His hands grasp her waist, holding them so tightly they’ll bruise by the time he leaves.
She throws her head back in ecstasy as Cregan keeps his attention on her face. She is beautiful, even when she is a whining and sweaty mess. One of his hands cup her cheek, weaving his fingers into her locks. She stares down at him, her mouth agape as she moans.
“You are so beautiful, wife.” He says, rocking his hips below her to meet her thrusts. “But your little tantrum isn’t going to go unpunished.”
He locks her in place with his hands, refusing to let her grind against him any longer.
“Wait, Cre-“
He pushes her off, rising from the bed so that he can push her onto her stomach. He pins her wrist behind her back, her fingers twirling to try to find any support to hold onto.
“Now how many items did you throw at me, lovely wife?” Cregan asks, lost in the lust that he had tried to bury when he married his wife. Now, he had no shame to degrade her.
“I… I can’t remember.” She says, muffled into the furs of the sheets.
“I believe it was 6. Let’s make it fair.” He says, landing a harsh smack to her bottom. She lets out a whine, and he pushes himself back inside her, not giving her a moment to catch her breath. Her breath hitches in her throat, and he lands another smack, intending to leave marks.
“Good luck sitting on that throne while I’m gone, wife.” He says, landing way more than 6 smacks to her red bottom. She moans at the pain and pleasure of the smacks and Cregan’s thrusts. The feelings were overwhelming, yet pure ecstasy. Tears brim her eyes as she screams in pleasure, sure enough so loud that all of Winterfell will hear.
“I hate you.” She moans.
“On the contrary. I think you love me.” He says, pressing his chest to her back and wrapping his hand around her throat, continuing to be in relentless with his thrusts. He drowns in her lascivious moans, feeling her cunt leak all over him and her bed. He reaches his other down to her cunt, gasping at all of the wetness that pools in his hand.
“Gods, wife, I didn’t realize how bad we needed each other. You should have told me sooner. I would have defiled you a long time ago.” He groans into her hair. She whimpers pleads of her need for release, and he grants it to her.
She cries in such pleasure, her hands finally finding a comforting grip against Cregan’s hand around her throat.
She rakes her nails into his hand, and he moans, finally spilling himself into her after three long, aching moons.
He presses a gentle kiss to her temple, then pulls out to lay beside her.
“Are you alright, my wife? Did I hurt you?” He asks, caressing her red bottom and her waist, tinted red from his harsh grasp.
“No, not at all.” She breathes.
“No, I didn’t hurt you or no, you’re not alright?”
She laughs, turning to face him to hold his cheek. “Husband, I am better than ever.”
He kisses the tip of her nose, gently caressing her cheek, not wanting to leave her.
“Must you still go, husband?” She asks, sadness in her voice, “Just when I’ve finally got you?”
“Unfortunately I must go… But, tis’ like you said; They can wait another day for the Warden of the North. I want to be with my wife.”
She smirks, propping herself up to look over him. “Northern attitude indeed, my lord husband.”
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luveline · 2 months
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i just discovered bombshell reader but omfg she got hit in the face with a sledgehammer??? how does the healing process go for her? especially since she’s very focused on her looks. how would she cope?
thank you for requesting <3 fem
Your new scars are… an adjustment. 
The worst one is where the hammer hit you. Where your jaw shattered, and the impact of the hammerhead split your skin. You don’t remember the pain, just the nausea, and the blackness as your consciousness slipped away, and now you have a permanent reminder stretched from the corner of your mouth to your jaw. 
You turn your chin up in the mirror, looking. When you smile the scar puckers, rigid and starkly purple against your skin.  
You can hear Spencer in your kitchen. He’s singing. You haven’t heard him sing many times, despite all your days and nights spent together. Your smile is out of your hands, you don’t really think about it, and so for the first time in weeks you see your own happiness in the mirror. 
You didn’t have your jaw wired for as long as most people, just three weeks. At first you’d decided against it, and then you’d realised it wasn’t really an option. That entire time, Spencer stood by your side like he’d been glued there supporting every decision with vigour. And considering he hadn’t been your boyfriend for very long —your best friend, arguably, but not officially your partner— he’s done more than you ever expected of him. He’s been perfect. 
He continues to be everything you need. “Hey, Y/N! Are you eating breakfast today or not?” 
You give yourself a last look in the mirror, cringe at your scars, and check your newly repaired teeth. They look fine, Spencer swears that he can’t tell the difference. 
You can. 
You leave your room for the kitchen. There are twin plates of breakfast waiting and steaming hot on the kitchen table, with a glass of juice and a second of water waiting beside them. Spencer’s coffee sits half empty beside the cutlery. 
“I love breakfast. What are we having, Spencer Reid, egg and sausage muffins again?” 
He appears from your little pantry with a big smile. “No, it’s bacon and egg. But I can make something else.”
“That’s perfect, it’s perfect.” 
Spencer puts a package of rice crackers down on the table. “Let me get the hazelnut spread. Sit down.” 
“It’s fine, we can have them after. You need to eat before it goes cold, Spence.” You open your hand for him. “Please?”
Spencer takes your hand, but only for you to sit. He stays standing at your legs, looking down at you, all brown curls and eyes as his hand runs up your arm to your shoulder, where it stays. 
The other follows a similar path, but then he holds your face, and you feel your breath catch. 
Forward, for Spencer. 
Suddenly, he’s the confident one. 
“You were in there for a long time,” he says. 
“Just making sure I look alright.” 
“You do. You look more than alright.” His thumb presses into your cheek, forcing a hollow. 
You lean into it. 
“You’re beautiful. Nothing can change that.” 
You need the comfort, and you know you’ve had enough. He keeps telling you how pretty you are, and you are, but he must be getting sick of it. 
…But no. He’s not getting tired of it. 
“Love you,” you whisper. 
He’s only had a couple of those from you. Many more since your injury, not because you didn’t love him, but because it can be synonymous with so many things, like please, and thank you, and please stay. Lately, you’ve had to ask him for more than you’ve ever asked before. 
“I love you, too,” he says, with that pout that tells you his cheeks will be pink before he’s so much as sat down. 
He rubs your cheek. Over and over, little circles as your eyes close. You’re tired again. His hands smell like toast and butter. 
“It’s really not as bad as you think it is. Nobody at work will think anything less of you.” 
“Of course they will. I used to be perfect.” 
“Hey. That’s not fair, to you or anyone. A scar doesn’t have the power to– to make you less perfect,” —you peel your eyes open at his intensity— “you couldn’t be any less pretty. It’s not possible.” 
“I know it’s ugly, Spencer.” 
“You keep saying that, but it’s not.” He raises his second hand to your cheek, the one with the scar, careful though it stopped feeling tender to the touch weeks ago. The pad of his thumb follows the line. 
You raise your chin, pulling him down for a quick kiss. “Sorry,” you say against his lips. 
He smiles in turn. “It’s okay. I can keep telling you.” 
“Can you tell me again?” 
Spencer kisses you again. His way of kissing has been toned down now, and sometimes you miss feeling like he was gonna press you against a wall, but it was necessary. Even now you feel a phantom twinge as his nose smushes yours. 
“You’re beautiful,” he says, pulling back now, just one hand at your neck. “You are. You’re so pretty it gives me palpitations.” 
“That can’t be good.” 
“I think it’s really bad.” He laughs like an idiot. “I just don’t care. I’ve had you-provoked tachycardia for years. Nothing’s gonna change that now.” 
bombshell au
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