#it would be all kazoo based

[fablepaint]

How come you guys decided to steer away from an electro swing soundtrack for Lackadaisy? I love electro swing but I'm sure whatever's cooking is going to be fantastic!

Rocky was getting pretty out of breath with the wubdub and beat drops. Doing all of those by mouth is harsh on the lungs, donchya know?

[emilyscargopants]

Home Run- Emily Prentiss x Fem!BAU!Reader fanfic

Warnings: smut, mentions of mommy kink and alcohol, (legal) age gap

Background:

You had been with the BAU for two years and had been immensely attracted to your boss and BAU Unit Chief Emily Prentiss since the day you joined. At times it definitely distracted you, but for the most part you were able to push your crush aside when it came to your job. You had joined the FBI softball team with Derek (who was your best friend on the team), and the rest of the team came out to watch the two of you play. (Emily is chief but for the sake of story Derek is still on the team :).)

first fanfic in a while so hope it’s decent

also i dont play softball so forgive the inaccuracies

“You ready, track star? You’re up to bat after this inning,” He asked you tauntingly, a grin on his face.

You laughed, “Shut up, Morgan. You should’ve stuck to football, do me a favor and have a beer ready for me after I hit a hit home run.”

He scoffed, “Yeah, right.”

Soon enough, there you stood on the plate. You had been playing ball since you were old enough to join a team, it had become like second nature to you. The batting cages were how you usually let off steam after a tough case.

You took a deep breath as you brought the bat up, steadying your stance as you and the pitcher stared at each other. Most of the other team was guys, and you could tell they didn’t expect much from you. You could hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears as you waited for the pitch.

It happened within an instant, the ball came flying towards you and without even having to think you cracked your bat against it. There was a soaring sound as it flew over the field and out of bounds.

You tore the helmet off your head as claps and cheers erupted from the crowd. You look at Derek, a shit-eating grin on your face as you simply shrugged and began your jog around the bases. He shook his head, laughing at you as he prepared to grab you a beer.

From the crowd, your team cheered the whole time you ran. Penelope was the loudest, of course, as she had brought plenty of noisemakers and kazoos. You nodded an acknowledgment at them as you were going past the stands, looking mostly at Emily, who gave you a small wave.

You were slightly stunned to see her wearing a t-shirt with your number on it. Granted, Penelope and JJ also had your number while Spencer and Rossi sported Derek’s. It still made your cheeks heat up a little.

You got back to box, Derek greeting you with a fist bump and a grin as he handed you a beer. “Thanks, asshole,” you said.

“Hey now, I won’t doubt you again,” he joked as you both took your seats. You couldn’t help but look back at Emily to see her staring at you as well. You blushed a little again and turned back around quickly before Derek could see you. He would never let you hear the end of it if he knew you had a crush on your boss.

You had hid it pretty well from everyone, after all they were profilers so you knew you had to really push your feelings down if you didn’t want them finding out. You knew you could never act on any of those feelings, but you reasoned that everyone had fantasies that would never happen. Perhaps you hadn’t hid it so well from her though?

You sipped on your beer but you could feel her eyes on you still. You tried to push the thought out of your mind, her eyes watching you.

It didn’t take long for your team to strike out, and you were back on the outfield and you couldn’t help but see her watching you. You could’ve sworn you saw her wink. You looked around you and then met her eyes again, obvious confusion on your face. She hid her laugh, standing up and walking off to what you could only presume was the bathroom or something.

You were so distracted you missed the ball that landed practically right next to you, Derek running up beside you and picking it up. “What the hell, Y/L/N? I shouldn’t have given your ass that beer, lightweight,” he laughed at you as he ran off with the ball.

Before you knew it the game was over, you had hit two more home runs both times you were up to bat, something you were definitely hanging over Derek’s head. The sun was starting to set as both teams filed out of the field and met up with their respected loved ones.

The team was chattering various congratulations on winning and you all agreed to go to a nearby restaurant to eat. You noticed Emily was staring at you, like blatantly staring at you as if she wanted you to notice.

You were about to ask Derek for a ride to the restaurant when Emily suddenly asked you, “Need a ride?”

You were a little stunned but didn’t let it show, “Uh, yeah, if you don’t mind? I was gonna ask Morgan but—”

“I don’t mind,” she interrupted you, her gorgeous smile erupting on her features. The team went their separate ways and you followed Emily to her car.

After you were inside Emily spoke first, “How long have you been playing?” she asked as you reached for the seatbelt.

“Ah, since I was young, 7 or 8 probably,” you replied nonchalantly, keeping your eyes forward as she started the car up.

“That’s impressive, you play well. I’ll have to come to more of these softball games,” she says, a smile etching her mouth as she spoke. You felt your stomach flutter slightly.

“Thanks, chief. Appreciate it,” you kept your sentences short for fear you would stumble over your words. She could sense you were nervous.

“You never call me Emily,” she noted, glancing at you momentarily.

“Ma’am?” you replied, a little confused.

“Just something I’ve noticed. You always call me Prentiss, or chief, or boss, but never Emily.”

“I guess… I’ve just always seen you as my boss. Everyone else worked with you before you were Unit Chief, but you were chief when I joined so I guess it’s hard for me to separate you from that,” you lied, knowing you couldn’t call her Emily because of the sound of her name on your tongue only made the butterflies in your stomach worse.

“I see,” she hummed. “So it has nothing to do with your little crush?” She looked over at you again.

It was hard to control your facial expression, your eyes widening just slightly before you answered, clearing your throat as you did, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.”

You looked over at her, and couldn’t help but let your eyes linger on the way her jeans hugged her thighs, the smile that tugged the corners of her mouth and sparkled in her eyes.

“You know I can see you, you’re going to deny it while actively checking me out?” she teased you. You stammered, unable to find your words. You knew you had been caught.

“It’s cute, really. At first I thought you just had authority issues and you were intimidated by me so you avoided me, but I figured out pretty quickly that wasn’t the case,” her hand reached over to squeeze your thigh. Your eyes focused on her fingers wrapped around your leg, trying to ignore the feelings and thoughts it was arousing. You closed them quickly.

“It’s flattering,” she continued, her voice getting lower, “and I won’t lie I’ve thought about it more than once. But something about seeing you today, out there rolling around in the dirt, kicking all those guys asses every time you went up to bat—” You had to stop her, opening your eyes which made you realize that she had parked.

“Chief, this is— it’s very inappropriate and uh,” you stammered but she just laughed, leaning into you so close you could smell her perfume.

“What’s inappropriate is having feelings for your boss, who is almost 2 decades older than you,” her eyes were narrow, studying you. You couldn’t control your expression at this point and you could only imagine the horror that manifested on your face. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, rubbing your thighs together, which she definitely took note of.

“Relax, Y/N,” she cooed at you, giving your thigh another reassuring squeeze.

“So what, you’ve known the whole time?” you ask, unable to meet her eyes.

“Well I didn’t know for sure, it was more intuition,” she smiled. You glanced down, admiring her full lips. “But it didn’t affect your work, and you never acted on it so I just let it be. Is that what you’d like me to do?”

“No,” you hadn’t been so quick to speak since you had gotten in her car. “No, that’s not what I want.” You looked at her eyes finally, they were still narrow but darker than before.

“So what do you want?” she husks, biting her lip which was something that drove you crazy. You instinctually averted your gaze because you had gotten so used to doing so at work whenever she would do that to prevent any feelings arising.

“Nuh uh, don’t look away now,” she said, hooking a finger under your chin to pull your face to meet hers again.

“You, Emily. I want you,” your heartbeat was thumping in your ears loudly, your stomach felt like it was trying to expel itself, and there was a similar throbbing you were beginning to feel in your pants.

“Get in the back. Lay down,” she commanded you. Your limbs seemed to move themselves as you climbed into the backseat, lying flat at your back with your feet planted firmly on the seat. You heard a slight shuffle from the front of the car but you couldn’t focus on anything but trying to calm your nerves. You wondered if this was truly happening or if you were just having some sort of in depth dream.

Suddenly Emily appeared above you, straddling your hips sans pants, as she pressed a few sensual kisses to your lips. A soft moan escaped your parted lips, your hands gripped her hips firmly following her movement as she rolled them, grinding into your midriff.

She pryed her lips from yours, her hand turning your head by grabbing your jaw to whisper in your ear, “I’m gonna sit on your face and ride it till you make me cum. Is that okay with you, sweet girl?” You whimpered at her words, nodding.

“I need verbal consent,” she said, her tongue swiping along your jawline.

“Emily, please,” you begged her. “Please ride my face.” Her hips shifted, leaving a small slick spot on your exposed abdomen before she was hovering above your mouth. You wasted no time, wrapping your arms around the back of her legs and pulling her into your mouth.

You moaned into her cunt as your tongue made contact with it, tasting her for the first time. One of her hands gripped the armrest on the door, the other resting affectionately in your hair.

She gasped softly as your tongue explored her wetness, becoming more confident as her moans encouraged you. You gripped the flesh of her thighs and ass, drawing another groan from her while her hips began to roll lazily in a slow rhythm.

“That’s it, you’re doing so good,” her head was tilted back, back arched ever so slightly as her hips began to move with more purpose. You were taking mental snapshots of every noise and movement she made, studying which strokes of your tongue elicited more reaction.

Your fingers tugged gently on the hem of her shirt as you mumbled, “Off? Please.” A grin tugged at the corners of her mouth as she groaned from the vibration of your voice. Her eyes met yours and you stared up at her innocently, pushing your tongue further into her wetness.

“You’ve been such a good girl, you want to see more of mommy?” she smirked above you, knowing the effect her words had on you as you squirmed underneath her. Her voice was low, almost sinister, as she spoke.

“Emily, please,” you groaned, your mind clouded by arousal. She pulled the shirt over her head, and you couldn’t help but notice your last name lettered across the back. It only turned you on more.

Your eyes dragged over Emily’s toned body, her full breasts swaying as she ground her sex into your mouth. You ran your fingers up her torso, admiring her figure as you zeroed in on her clit with your tongue.

Her fingers tangled in her hair as her moans increased in pace and volume. “Fuck, don’t stop,” she groaned, closing her eyes and tipping her head back. You felt her thighs contracting against the side of your face, gripping you slightly.

She pulled her cunt from your lips rather quickly, snaking her body down yours and straddling your hips again. You sat up, extending your legs as she pulled you in for a deep kiss. As she pulled away, she swiped her finger along your chin collecting her juices and gently pushed it between your lips.

“Suck,” she demanded, her tone firm and authoritative while her eyes followed yours. You closed your lips around her finger, eyes fluttering closed as you tasted her again. You swirled your tongue lightly across the digit, giving Emily a show as you slowly released it from your mouth.

You opened your eyes to find Emily’s gorgeous smile, her eyes admiring you affectionately. She kissed you softly once more, her hands cupping your face while her thumb gently stroked your cheek. “Good girl. Jump back up front and pass me my clothes. After dinner, I’ll take you back to my place and take care of you, sound okay?” She said, brushing her fingers through your hair.

“Yeah,” you whispered softly, entranced by the way she seemed to look at you. You did as she had asked you and after a few moments she had joined you in the front seat again. You sat quietly, your face red with embarrassment.

“Don’t get shy on me now,” she said, turning your head to face her. Her hand dropped down, squeezing you thigh in reassurance. “What’s on your mind?”

You cleared your throat, “Um, how did you know that— um.” Your words seemed to fail you as you stammered, trying to find the least embarrassing way to address what you were wondering.

She grinned, she really seemed to enjoy making you squirm. “What? Mommy?” She raised her eyebrow at you knowingly, as if she didn’t even have to ask.

Your breath caught in your throat as you quickly said, “Yeah— uh, yeah, that.” You shook your head as if trying to remove the word from your thoughts.

“Doesn’t take a profiler to realize you have mommy issues, pretty girl. Plus you had to excuse yourself from that interview I did that one time, so that told me everything I needed—” She said playfully, never taking her hand off your thigh.

You nodded in embarrassment, laughing slightly as you interrupted her, “Okay, I get it.” You rested your hand on top of hers.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” she smiled at you, leaning into your ear. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart. I’m gonna make you feel so good later.” You whimpered softly, biting your lip to muffle the sound that escaped your lips.

“Now, we’ll tell the team we went to the wrong restaurant when we get there. Give me a kiss.” You pressed a soft, short kiss to her lips as you felt her signature smile tugging her lips again. “Such a good girl,” she whispered.

[theamazingmaddyas]

Apollo Cabin Camper headcanons

Lee was an avid writer, and was planning to go for a Creative Writing before he, you know, kicked the bucket. Michael and Will ended up posthumously publishing his diary as a fiction story (because monsters and all) so that he could have his dream of being a published author. Nico brought Lee a copy in the Underworld.

Michael would only ever call his younger siblings his "little siblings" despite the fact that most of them passed him in height at like 9 or 10.

Will has Michael and Lee's names tattooed on his wrist in their handwriting, as well as a quote from one of Lee's poems on his forearm.

Kayla's known she was a demigod since she was really young, since her father had to explain why she has no mother. Darren could see through the mist, and would just shoot the monsters that came because of Kayla's stronger sent.

Kayla was brought to camp by Hedge when he was in Toronto in TLO (is this a common hc? I feel like it should be)

Austin could play any instrument, except the kazoo. For some reason, he sucked at playing the kazoo.

Jerry's accent was so strong his first summer at camp no one could understand him except for the other internationals.

Yan would hide in the armory with their book so that they didn't have to do sword-fighting or archery practice

Gracie would make rainbow loom bracelets for literally everyone. Even though she came to camp after the Battle of Manhattan and the Battle of the Labrynth, she still made bracelets for her deceased siblings based on Will, Kayla, and Austin's description of them.

Will was protective of the chariot in TLH not because he cared about it, but because Michael cared about it

Lee was born in Connecticut, but lived practically his whole life in NYC, and Michael was from Maine.

The cabin has a world map with push pins indicating where everyone is from. Every camper has also signed the wall around it on the day they were claimed, so there's well over a thousand names by the time PJO takes place.

Cabin 7 has a music room in it's basement, that has every single instrument you can imagine. (Austin is banned from playing the kazoo of course)

The only way the cabin can be cleaned is if It's A Hard Knock Life (Broadway version) (and the reprise as well) are playing. The youngest kid sings at Molly, and they play rock paper scissor to figure out who jumps in the laundry basket like Annie (one time Michael accidently fell asleep and was brought to the laundry room by the harpies. He did not let Lee hear the end of it) (The same thing almost happened to Gracie, but Will found her before the harpies could)

It's tradition that the last day of camp the younger campers write a song for their counselor and play it before bed. There's a binder of all the lyrics of every song dated back to the 1940s on the shelf, when the tradition was started

I'm not even sorry about how many there are, I'm just a tad bit obsessed with Cabin 7 (as indicative of my ao3 fics dedicated to them all)

(Octavian's a legacy and I'm only 150 pages into my reread of Son of Neptune, I can't remember if there are any canon Apollo kids barring Octavian's ancestors.)

[calliesmemes]

IN-CHARACTER QUOTES FROM DISCORD

UNHINGED SENTENCE STARTERS FEATURING THINGS SAID BY MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS WHILE WRITING AS OUR MUSES IN A CRACK-BASED NONCANON GROUP CHAT. This post is dedicated to Em, Liz, Tanny, Nellie, Mel, Ange, and everyone else in the server who recognizes these quotes — you know who you are 😈

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   Have you forgotten that you should not steal someone’s property? ”

“   I could slap that smug look off his face right now! ”

“   Your ears are a lie. ”

“   Woah woah that's - that's a bad word. ”

“   I don’t know if it’s allowed and quite frankly I don’t care. Fuck the rules. ”

“   Time for gremlin activities! ”

“   I hate this man. Let's prank him. ”

“   We are all going on strike today I swear ”

“   Looks like I need to invest in a kid leash. ”

“   DONT BE COWARDS!! JOIN THE STRIKE!! ”

“   I support her saying what needs to be said! I am done with the silencing of women!!!! ”

“   I like the dramatics. ”

“   I did not ask for a second opinion. ”

“   You seem to be doing a great job at being a nuisance. ”

“   NO BITING MY EMPLOYEES! ”

“   do you want me to bring you cheese? ”

“   Next move, start chewing on the door frames ”

“   I like crumbs. They are like a little midnight snack in my bed at night. ”

“   if he wants to be a worm, LET HIM BE A WORM ”

“   the rest of you suck my toe ”

“   To be fair I am simply vibing. ”

“   I am going to commit a war crime! ”

“   I am manifesting being happy. ”

“   Am I gonna talk shit WITH you guys? because im down to talk shit about pretty much anyone ”

“   Who says? We shall revolt without question. ”

“   Let's just start burning stuff. ”

“   Did you just call me... small? ”

“   Can I convert you with my kazoo propaganda? ”

“   We were radicalised by The Little Mermaid. ”

“   Penny in the swear jar, now. ”

“   My last words are, bros before hoes. ”

“   The old men are trying to be trendy. ”

“   I can do whatever I want too! ”

“   Can we go one day without an interruption from an American? ”

“   I am so sorry. He enjoys conflict. ”

“   Why is he so tall? ”

“   For legal reasons, kids, that's a joke. ”

“   Would you like to fight the adults? ”

“   You're not meant to bite people, it's frowned upon. ”

“   He’s a fun killer, don't listen to him! ”

“   Ow! Stop kicking me! ”

“   I have quite literally begged you not to kick, hit, or bite today. ”

“   BUT I thought we were buds, pals, amigos, chums, friends. ”

“   Oh shiiiii someone’s in trouble ”

“   How much caffeine have you had in the last hour? ”

“   I'll be honest they wouldn't be so bad if they didn't speak. ”

“   Is this goof meant to be dead or what? ”

“   I am a witch. ”

“   This one reeks of self confidence when he clearly doesn't think before opening his mouth. ”

“  I call bullshit on that rule! ”

“   The point is I have a cane and I’m not afraid to use it. ”

“   If you slap me, I’ll cane you. ”

“   Yippee for women. ”

“   FUCK THE PATRIARCHY ”

“   Sorry for being British. ”

“   Oi who's playing that ominous music? ”

“   I'm strong because I eat carrots. Oh wait or is that to see in the dark.... it's for something. ”

“   I will say sorry when i'm caught, don't you worry. ”

“   AND YOU CALLED ME UP AGAIN JUST TO BREAK ME LIKE A PROMISE! ”

“   ... He's done for. Broken beyond repair. Someone play Taylor Swift. ”

“   Please refrain from punching one another. ”

“   He is becoming one with the spider I believe. ”

“   If anybody asks I will say I made you, then you will not get in trouble! ”

“   Can I be a girlboss too? I am not rude to women and I do what i like ”

“   Yippee for patriotism! ”

“   … i could make you guys rat costumes ”

“   Do you think if we started stealing bread we would lose our jobs? ”

“   why do British people ”

“   … you all need therapy. ”

“   Do you ever feel if you breathe the wrong way he will bite you? ”

“   I actively avoid whatever this is. ”

“   CARRY ME. ”

“   What if, and hear me out, they both promise not to do it again? ”

“   I wanna steal all his socks. ”

“   My socks were stolen! ”

“   Hey, watch it now. Only I'm allowed to insult me. ”

“   You couldn’t whisper to save your life. It’s pitiful. ”

“   Both of you are insufferable. ”

“   The law is overrated. ”

“   I’m afraid. Miss, you aren’t my type. ”

“   No. I swear on my life. I am being a gentleman ”

“   I support women’s wrongs. ”

“   ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE!!! ”

“   GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW ”

“   He bites? Are you .. joking? Please say you're joking. ”

“   If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain ifyou're not into yoga if you have half a brain if you like makin' love at midnight in the dunes on the cape then I'm the love that you've looked for write to me and escape 🎶🎶 ”

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Kieran Kieran Kieran Kieran Kierannnnnn

Boi deserves more love cause he's truly one of the best characters in the entire franchise and they definitely did him justice with his story arc(Even if we made him get a ton of therapy and a near-death experience after his villain phase...)

With that, the fact that he can afford multiple tickets but not a phone is... Weird. However, that's where writers come in soooo- Can I please request the reader, Carmine, Paldea gang, and BB E4 throwing Kieran a surprise party and cashing in together to get him the lastest rotom phone with Applin/Hydrapple case?

Extra bonus if you're also able to include individual gifts that everyone would get Kiki

EXTREMELY BASED REQUEST <3333

......

One day it suddenly occurred to you, the BB E4, Carmine, and your Paldean friends that Kieran's 15th birthday was coming up and....according to his sister, he's never had a party.

You found that to be 100% unacceptable, and so you all decided to band together and plan one right in the League Club room.

Ofc you had to be sneaky about it, making it so that Kieran didn't suspect anything was up.

The biggest challenge--at least for the others--was figuring out what presents to give him.

But considering that he still doesn't have his own rotomphone (despite having more than enough money to get you, Arven, Penny, and Nemona plane tickets to Kitakami), it wasn't too difficult to decide what gift you wanted to get for him.

Luckily you had a Persian and Gholdengo who knew Pay Day and Make It Rain respectively and wore amulet coins, so you took them out to the terarium to battle other trainers, gathering more than enough cash to finally afford the gift.

When Kieran's birthday finally arrives...he's a little sad bc he only got a few wishes from random passerbys, and none from you or his friends or sister--who all seemed to have mysteriously vanished.

He thinks it's some prank and lowkey sulks as he shuffles to the clubroom....

Only to get startled when you all jump out and surprise him--with Ogerpon, Miraidon/Koraidon, and your Hydrapple (who was once the Applin he traded you) wearing party hats and kazoos--wishing him happy birthday.

Once his mini heartattack subsides, it takes a second for everything to sink in....before he gets extremely sappy and stands there with tears rolling down his face.

At first Crispin thinks he's genuinely upset and starts apologizing profusely, thinking the group had the wrong date-

"N-No, it's today. I'm just....wowzers.." Kieran laughs, wiping away his tears. "You all..really did this for me?"

"It took careful planning and precarious coordination." Amarys speaks up with a smile of her own. "We have [y/n] to thank for orchestrating this. But I could understand if it caused you some minor distress this morning."

He just waves her off, reassuring her that everything's good now, and soon the festivities commence!

You gift him the latest Rotomphone, having commissioned for it to have an Applin phonecase (even with its own tail and eyestalks) that shimmered in the sunlight, with all of the features offered by the League Club's BP system already unlocked.

Ofc, it may take him a while to learn how to use them all...but he's SO happy and hugs you tightly.

He lowkey forgot that everyone else got him a present, too, and lets you go to open them.

Carmine, knowing her brother, gave him an assortment of chocolate (but insisted that he didn't eat all of it at once and had actual food every now and then).

Amarys gave him a single heavy ball with a Shiny Aron inside. She doesn't think it's much but gets flustered when he smiles and thanks her with a hug, too.

Lacey gifts him a Granbull plushie, and at first she thinks it may be too "cutesy" for him, but he holds onto it tight and insists that he loves it.

Crispin and Arven got together to gift him a cookbook they collaborated on: half the recipes are spicy dishes and the other half contains sandwich recipes.

Drayton presents him with an empty friend ball, and inside was a Wimpod keychain and a note that basically says "sry for calling you ex-champ, ex-champ".

Fortunately they both kinda got over that grudge and could laugh about it now.

Penny got him the same Eevee backpack that she has (after recalling how he stared at it one too many times back in Kitakami and played with the ears when she left it unattended for a few mins) and initially feels awkward, but he adores it and promises to swap his old bag out from time to time.

Nemona gave him a whole bag of EV-boosting items (carbos, zinc, feathers, mints, you name it) for his team so their next battle could be even MORE exciting....and he's embarrassed to admit his competitive team's stats are already maxed out, but he'll use them for his casual team.

All in all, the party is a huge success.

It's definitely one Kieran would never forget, and he's so, so grateful to have real friends who did all of this for him--especially you.

[skyepixels]

The Welcome Home Website!!!!! She is Beautiful~! And She Leaves Us With So Many Questions!

First off, I am absolutely astonished at how beautiful she is!!! Clown, Puzz, and everyone else has worked so hard and they've exceeded everyone's expectations with the site!!! What a wonderful little Home they've made, and I'm excited to experience it as a fan!!!

I know that everyone's combing through the new website update with a fine toothed comb so I won't be sharing anything we've already found. I don't think I've found anything new in the site that others haven't already found, but oh boy!!!! Does everything there only raise more questions!

What I do love is how all the audio files we've been given through the "bugs" has really shown what everyone's personality is like! I love every one of them, and the voice actors captured them perfectly! Oh and the little tidbits of history with the merchandise, the telephone calls, the little skits! Be still my beating heart~!!!

AND THE WALLY LIVE INTERVIEW. I CANT! It's sooo darn cute!! And Nick Nocturne (I know it's him, that interdimentional cat demon) as the interviewer was such a lovely touch! I cannot wait to hear about that from his YT channel!!! And Wally was so coy with the romance question~ and I think that's the perfect way to answer it for everyone who loves him! Keep it vague, let everyone make their own conclusions and be happy! (I know I certainly will for the time being, and will love him no matter what!) I am so curious about the underlying story here: there's so much to think about it's driving me crazy! They gave so much and answered so little! We can only theorize from here! So here's my little thoughts! None of it's cohesive in any way, nor does it really have all the details or tell full story yet, so just take it in sections if you decide to read it! ______

!~OBSERVATION TIME~!

I think that Wally, Home (And maybe everyone else, not sure) are trapped somewhere. Where exactly isn't certain, but very trapped indeed. My first indication of this from this response in the guestbook for Tayla (Page 8):

"eu não sei onde estamos" - I don't know where we are (A bonus for the multi-lingual side of things there, it makes me really happy to see it!)

I have no concept of what happened to everyone else, but from the little drawings he's made on the guestbook, he's constantly telling people things like "Oh, I'll tell Eddie." or "I'll tell Frank." these messages, but we never get a direct response from any other neighbor! It's always him talking! Just him. He tells people their responses, but we never hear anything direct from the other neighbors! The quick reference I can bring up is the hearts PNG in the guestbook for Kazoo:

itoldhim_hesaidhesflattered_idontknowwhatanyoneistalkingabout_.png I feel like those collections of audio clips with all the neighbors (1-14 to 14-14) are a recount of events throughout an entire day that previously happened that may give insight into what happened to Wally. I think this is the case based on the last audio in the list, 14-14 bh audio, when Barnaby notices Wally acting strange:

BARNABY: Yeah, yeah, real funny! A poor little guy like me deserves some sympathy! A clown without a kazoo is like… Like an artist without his paintbrush! Go on kid, tell ‘em! …Hello? Buddy? Pal? …Hey, you stopped paintin’. Everything alright, Wally?

Well, something happened there. Maybe a change in his psyche, how he perceives things - some strange realization that terrified him. Maybe he got angry at something. What it was? I have no clue.

Another addition that I think is interesting! Frank wrote to Wally describing the unusual bug he found. In the beginning of that letter, Frank says this:

"I know you would ask if you are here." Where is he?

The nature of how Wally and everyone communicates is so vague and weird! I think the telephones, the mail, the TVs - all these things are means of communicating, but there's no direct connection to us! Any time a phone call is made, they can't hear us. This I have inferred from the "It's for you!" Talking telephone toy! They can talk to us and we can hear them, but they can't hear us! What's causing this disturbance? That's the real bug here, and I'm clueless on what that means or how to break through the surface!

Most importantly! I think that Wally specifically trying to communicate with that one person on the WHRP team. That person... is experiencing a lot of heavy sh*t, because I think they remember Wally and the show. They're the closest person right now that's able to help him (either willingly or not!)

I also believe he's specifically working with that WHRP member because in the phone audio (the one you click on when interacting with the toy telephone on the merchandise page), he says:

"You have to go too. You have work to do."

From what I can interpret from the live interview, I think that it implies some semblance of back story! Wally did interact with people and the outside world during his prime in the 70s, when the show was really starting to pick up speed. He was calmer, more in tune with his character and fame. He was in character most of all, and I think being in character was a sense of identity for him that he could rely on!

But those secret audio files we hear from him now? He sounds desperate, like he can't breathe. He's practically breaking from his usual character. What did he realize? What does he know? All of those things boil down to this sentence:

"I will help you understand. I will find a way soon, Neighbor."

Wally (and Home?) are working away at a solution wherever they can I think that WHRP member is the key to that! (Although the methods of how they're doing it, i.e the black paint that apparently you shouldn't touch with bare hands, the mind-boggling phone ringing in that person's ears, the complete distortion of reality - definetely implies a few things.)

I also think that the highlighted in invisible ink is Wally's words throughout the email compilations and other documents! The one where he says "Im so sorry." - I feel like that's him showing some remorse for his actions there, but it's like a sorry that says "I'm sorry, I have to do this." kind of deal (which is... oof)

Also - quick note! Wally keep insisting on being let in, rather than being let out. "Let me in." - Let you in to where? Our world? Reality? Oh so many questions!!!

I also am curious about the WHRP staff too, and their interactions with the Question-Answerer, the Marlo company, the Playfellow Workshop! There's two sides to this story; the human side and the puppet one, and it's so multilayered here that at this point, I'm inclined to distrust what anyone on that website says until we know what's going on!

Lastly, I'm not certain how much we as viewers of this story are involved. While I believe that he's working to get that WHRP member to let him in, he does acknowledge us through the guestbook. Although, I don't think truly aware of how much we see him. i.e "idontknowwhatanyoneistalkingabout" line from the heart PNG.

While I want to believe that Wally can see us through our art, specifically when we draw or recreate his eyes, for engagement's sake (audio from this link), I also am inclined to believe he's refering to the eyes that the WHRP team member keeps drawing on those sticky notes and other places throughout the restoration site:

And and and!!! I think that there's got to be something upcoming with this link: https://www.clownillustration.com/error404

You find this link on the staff-only page at the bottom with the text "It's in here." And I think that with any future updates, the next section of the story will be coming from here.

AHH~! I rambled on too long! Hope you enjoyed it!

[rorygilmoreclown]

Cunk on Ketterdam

Prompt: I have a generous request to all of the great fanfiction writers that please for the love of God can you write something like all the Crows are getting interviewed in Cunk on Earth 😭 . I would love to see them being flabbergasted by the questions of Philomena. It can also be Crows x Reader, where the reader takes the place of Philomena. 

A/n: I tried my best. Will prolly make it a series since it’s such an interesting concept. Lmk which character you want next. I have more for Kaz Brekker also. 😭

Word Count: 497 words

Y/n: Welcome on the Ketterdam TV, Mr. Brekker. I have been informed to remind you from time to time that not giving us an answer would result in deduction of kruge from your share. 

Kaz: I understand. 

Y/n: Now let’s start from the basics, the first question is, how many birthday party performances do you have on your resume?

Kaz: For what reason would I go to a tiny terrors’ tumultuous tribute?

Y/n: No, it says here (checking your script) that you are a magician. So I assumed that you’d work at parties. 

Kaz: I’m not a magician. 

Y/n: Very well then, next question, would you audition for the play of Now You See Me 3? I heard they need a magician. Although you would have to do something other than card tricks. A character in the 2nd play has already accomplished that. 

Kaz: Is this a joke? I'll leave that to the performers with less refined tastes.

Y/n: You have a bit of an emo vibe don’t you. You’d fit right into the band My Chemical Romance. Now, I have to ask, do you think your name would be better if it was spelled with a 'z' instead of a 'k'? You know, like "Kaz the Kool Kid" or "Zaz the Zany Zebra"?

Kaz: (looking around at the exits so soon) I’d prefer if you would stick to Mr. Brekker. 

Y/n: Party pooper. Okay, moving on. I've heard you're a great leader of the Dregs, but have you ever thought about starting a band? I hear kazoo music is making a comeback.

Kaz: I’m quite satisfied with my current employment. 

Y/n: Does your mother agree with your profession? 

Kaz: 👁️👄👁️

Y/n: And that’s what I thought. That’s why I was suggesting alternatives. I want to know where you stand on diversity. Considering your employees are all diverse. 

Kaz: I pick my crows based on their work, and not those extraneous factors. 

Y/n: Is that why all of you have one thing in common?

Kaz: Yes, all of us are- 

Y/n: - (cutting him off) in dire need of therapy. 

Kaz: No, we don’-

Y/n: Producers told me you might be in denial. Moving on, when are you going to change the last name of your adopted child? 

Kaz: I don’t have a child. 

Y/n: My saints the denial phase is worse than I had thought. Although I’ll tell you, I was talking about your son, Wylan Van Eck. Is he not your child? And answer carefully, he might cry if you deny again.

Kaz: (not saying no but not saying yes either)

Y/n: I’ll take that as a “as soon as possible”. Now, at last, the most simple question. Do you keep saying “Hello Inej” every five minutes? 

Kaz: No. I do not. That is absurd. 

Y/n: (to the producers) I think you should offer him free therapy sessions, he desperately needs them. 

Taglist: @wrapperpaper @lady-ashfade

[dazai-fan-page]

"Fyodor should have beaten Dazai, he's smarter than that" He is very smart but he's also very egotistical and rarely ever doubts the success of his plans. That's why he lost, all he had to do was check if Chuuya was wearing contacts or something and he wouldn't have been played like a cheep kazoo.

But Fyodor thinks he's infallible, the way he's acted since the Dragon Head Conflict is insane. He's "killed" Dazai twice now

Both times seemingly convinced that this will work, and both times he walks away without double checking that he's actually dead.

It's not a plot whole, it's been built up several times and makes complete sense that Fyodor would lose because he didn't make sure his plan was working.

It's not about Dazai being smarter it's about showing how far Dazai's character has gone since being in the Mafia, and in the mafia Dazai was sure of all of his plans. Now he's leaving things up to chance and trusting that his friends will have his back. And they did.

Dazai spelled it out right here:

But for some reason a fandom for a series based on classic literature has serious issues with media literacy.

-E

[everybodyshusband]

oh satan devour us all (hear our desperate call)

cowbell/zephyr (ghost band)

explicit | nb/nb | 6.3k words | it/its cowbell, they/them zephyr, free use, predator/prey, subtob zephyr, riding, semi-public sex, shifting genitals, objectification, earth/quintessence multi ghoul cowbell

—this fic is a (very late) birthday gift for my absolutely beloved friend @spoiledleaff for a little birthday fic exchange we organised for each other <3 i asked him what he wanted and they asked for cowbell being a menace (/aff) to zephyr, so that's what this is !! it's actually supposed to piggyback off of the practice scene in his very own terzomega fic, so go and read that as well if you're able to !! happy birthday, ashton !! i can't believe i've known you for an entire year already <3

snippet and ao3 link under the cut !

gif credit: @/kazoo-lord

The only fault in this system is that Cowbell seems to have taken a liking to playmates with… unique vessels. In the case of the air ghoul sitting opposite it on the other side of the library, this refers to the way their vessel’s functionality varies from day to day. Some days, the air ghoul is able to walk with ease, perform their daily tasks, wield the keys of the chapel organ to create haunting melodies that echo out through the grounds of the Ministry. But on other days, they can’t walk without one of their canes, let alone make their daily lemongrass and ginger tea without aid from a willing hand. On their especially bad days, they might not even be able to roll over in bed without having to hold back a pained wail. All this is to say that although Cowbell may take joy from pushing its partners to the edge of their comfort zone—especially Zephyr—it would never wish any extra pain upon them. Well, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the earth ghoul wouldn’t wish extra pain upon them unless it is the one inflicting it. Therefore, a system had to be developed, which Zephyr seemed to take in their stride. They’d designed an entire colour-based system which corresponds with their pain levels, and many of the earth ghoul’s similarly-vesseled partners have also chosen to adopt it for themselves over time. Cowbell is the first to admit Zephyr’s idea is genius; especially given the air ghoul’s tendencies to ‘forget’ their cane on their days of bad pain, making it nearly impossible for Cowbell to garner whether its mate is genuinely in excruciating pain due to the state of their vessel, or if they are simply playing into Cowbell’s twisted fantasies. Their lighter bells—pale pinks, blues and yellows—are ones they wear in order to signify to Cowbell that although Zephyr is still very interested in being taken and used until they’re seeing stars, Cowbell needs to treat them gently—to degrade them with its words rather than its actions—lest it make anything more painful for them than it already is. Zephyr’s dark coloured bells on the other hand—deep reds, blues, greens and blacks—are used to signify a good pain day; their way of wordlessly telling Cowbell that the two of them are free to do anything it sets its mind to, regardless of the position or any other factor that might put strain on weary joints—provided it’s not on Zephyr’s list of hard limits, of course; although there have been a few occasions when the air ghoul has begged for–

But that’s not important right now.

Right now, Cowbell is sure Zephyr’s bell is dark today, but they’re in the middle of checking a book out for a Sibling and it can’t get a proper glimpse of the specific colour the air ghoul is donning today. Its lack of clear view infuriating, but the anticipation has the earth ghoul all fired up and it’s sure that when the time comes, it will be able to wreck Zephyr twice as hard as it normally would—provided that their softly jingling indicator is, in fact, one of dark colour.

“Oh, I love your bell!” The Sibling says—Cowbell’s almost certain that she is the Sister it was chasing through the Abbey’s halls just last week, a pretty, deep pink bell attached to the ribbon wrapped around her wrist—as she reaches a finger out to tap Zephyr’s bell lightly, giggling at the soft jingle it elicits. Cowbell growls and feels its eyes glint with malice at someone touching its Zephyr.

Zephyr affixes the Sister with a look—they know all about her adventures with Cowbell, the earth ghoul itself had told them just last week—but smiles, flattered. If Cowbell’s vision is not failing it from so far away, the air ghoul looks offended that the Sister would even consider touching its bell—Zephyr is well aware that although the bell may live in their dorm, it’s not theirs, it’s Cowbell’s. They incline their head in her direction, always the epitome of politeness despite their obvious frustration. “Many thanks, Sister.” She takes the book back from them and finally moves out of the way, providing Cowbell with a direct line of sight to Zephyr’s neck, an obsidian black bell dangling from their carefully crafted collar. Their way of silently telling Cowbell that it’s a good pain day. That they’re wanting for more than the light green bell Cowbell had slipped into their pocket at practice in anticipation of a bad pain day. That no holds need to be barred. That the earth ghoul has permission to destroy Zephyr if it sees fit, and, fuck, is it going to wreck them until they’re seeing double. That’s what it promised to do during today’s practice after all…

[read the rest on ao3 !!]

[amethyst-wind-uk]

Some things I'd like to happen to/for Surge the Tenrec.

Fight with, and concurrently talk with, Blaze the Cat - Blaze has been where Surge is: Fought Sonic and lost due to lesser experience despite being equally powerful. Blaze has gotten plenty of experience since and would absolutely wreck Surge. HOWEVER, I see it as being a good learning experience for Surge. She'd be pissed about losing but would reflect on the fight and incorporate what she learned into her next fight with Sonic, becoming a bigger threat.

Fight Shadow the Hedgehog - Shadow is so full of himself that he probably wouldn't even register Surge's taunts, but also so full of himself that he'd let his guard down enough (even after what happened in the Metal Virus saga) that he'd get full-on decked in the face at least twice. It would only be at that point that Shadow would resolve to go all-out... but by the time he gets back up after being decked and having an internal monologue, Surge would've gotten bored and left to do something else. Shadow would fume over it for days.

Get a turn with the Chaos Emeralds to go Super Surge...

...BUT only do it once and instead develop her own unique Super Mode a la Burning Blaze (Shocking Surge, Surging Surge, Static Surge etc).

Get a crush on, and later date with, Amy Rose.

Develop an entirely game-based rivalry with Whisper the Wolf. They don't physically battle often (even if Surge becomes a full villain again) but they compete constantly. Tangle the Lemur is extremely uncomfortable with the entire situation.

Spend any time with Rouge the Bat. Rouge would play Surge like a cheap kazoo.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 16/11/2023

Windows Wonga Wappa

Season 7 Featured on: PROTONOMICON ~ The Cult of Proto Collection

Ripped by circunflexo

Yeah, look, Season 7 has had its grips in me recently, okay? I'm still making my way through the PROTONOMICON album, and just yesterday two humongous albums released covering rips from the entire year...after I'm done writing this post, I'm going to have to go update a bunch of older posts still sitting with tentative names. Until then, though - Windows Wonga Wappa.

Crypt of the NecroDancer has a long history on SiIvaGunner, as far back as Season 1 - though back then, it was almost entirely dedicated to ironic Kazoo covers of the soundtrack. That kind of put me off from listening to rips from the game in general for a long time, because it just seemed like the kind of joke that would keep going forever - and it wasn't really one I enjoyed all too much? Windows Wonga Wappa does indeed call back to this joke at the very start with a brief Kazoo fakeout, but its true intentions are far, far above what I'd ever expect - part brilliant YTPMV, and part tribute to *another* Konga Conga Kappa YTPMV by fellow channel ripper Nozobot. You may remember them from one of the channel's most landmark funny rips, Sex - Steve Harvey! Well, said rip was then later used by Nozobot as a basis for a YTPMV uploaded to their own YouTube channel, Konga Harvey Harvet. After having Sex - Steve Harvey haunt me for the better part of four years, it was incredible to see the very same nonsense samples and jokes used in it be elevated to the form of a proper YTPMV!

And that legacy, along with the entire Vinesauce Joel Protogent-theme that the PROTONOMICON Halloween event this year had, is what Windows Wonga Wappa builds on. The Windows OS sound samples used as the song's base foundation lay a fantastic sort of "bassline", allowing the rest of the song to go absolutely ham with Protogent-rap sentence mixing...look, everything regarding Protogent is a bit too much to explain in just this post - but it's one of the most memorable memes of Joel's most memorable series of videos, in a way circling back to the origins of SiIvaGunner as a whole.

Windows Wonga Wappa has so many fun layers and choices made in it - it really shows what strengths the art of YTPMV can have over mashups and melody-swaps. This cacophony of samples and sentence-mixed Protogent advert lines, all stitched together with a memorable base melody, is something that lets circunflexo truly flex their creative muscles as a ripper - a chaotic concoction of all that we love to hate about Windows.

[ravenwolfie97]

okay so initial thoughts on honkai star rail after i played like half of the tutorial bit this morning before work

first off, for the record, i have not played or heard much of anything about honkai impact 3rd and i have only played genshin impact pretty much since launch so my expectations were "genshin but sci-fi fantasy" but i can say that's not quite what i got (here’s a read more if you don’t care lol)

- immediately i notice that the graphics fidelity is gorgeous, very sleek and clean - it startled me a bit but also made me happy that the lip flaps are synced to the english dub! it seemed to flow really well even with the expression changes. the dialogue system doesn't seem all too different from genshin or. any other system like that. but it's got a pretty nice polish on the transitions between different states - the animation in the cutscenes and battles are really good, clearly they had a real talented team working on them. the characters feel so bouncy and expressive and it is pretty darn satisfying - the UI and interactive language is pretty much exactly the same as genshin with a sci-fi coat of paint. that's not a bad thing necessarily but like. it's pretty obvious - so the way combat and elemental powers work is very different from genshin, which frankly i should have expected, given this is a turn-based rpg. and i shouldn't have too much trouble with it, since turn-based rpgs are kind of a staple in my game roster, but for some reason i had trouble connecting with it. obviously finishing the tutorial would help, but it didn't feel as intuitive as i expected elements are presented in more of a traditional jrpg type of way where there are clear weaknesses you can exploit on enemies if you attack with a certain element. idk if i fully mean this but i think it kind of ruins part of the fun of discovering an enemy's weakness when the game itself just. tells you what it is off the bat also the types are weird in that they have pretty static effects in terms of what they do, the variability in moves is probably also explained further in character profiles but i haven't found how to look at that yet bkjljl - i'm fascinated by the ideas of Quantum and Imaginary types. what does that even mean. how do those manifest - i think it was a bit of a bold move to start the game off with two random characters talking about the world as if things are normal and known, and then having them influence your player character into. being in the plot not that i didn't like kafka and silver wolf. in fact i love both of them a lot. but i also had no context and had no goddamn idea what was going on so i was thrown pretty off-guard first thing which isn't exactly the greatest first impression lol - why is she named March 7th. does anyone know. is there a joke lost in translation or is it because she's like a pseudo-mascot character or. what - speaking of march actually i really want to like her but so far her character reeks of "hi i'm a girl". her skill is called "The Power of Cuteness" and one of her abilities is called "Girl Power" and so far her personality is cute, kind, and kinda stupid. it's a bit much. but she's neat - i have no big opinions on dan heng except he's neat and people keep saying he's the kazuha of star rail bc windy maple leaf boys but they're wrong bc dan heng has a stabby not a slicey and he can only hit one person at a time while kazoo thrives on the multi-hit AoE damage - i do love that the MC's weapon is just. a future baseball bat. that they get to smack people really hard with. no element, just big smack - oh yeah hyv loves to queerbait i guess cuz that wasn't CPR honey the twitter crowd wasn't kidding - i can’t think of anything else rn cuz it’s past midnight but star rail is neat and i like the little train rabbit dog mascot it’s cute and i wanna get past the tutorial hkjbjk

[girlreviews]

Review #172: Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon & Garfunkel

Simon & Garfunkel have always been hilarious to me. They are such massive goobers. Goobers with huge egos that dated/married/divorced beautiful women. Both insufferable in their individual specific ways. But also they make the most precious and beautiful music together. They know how good they are but lack self-awareness about literally anything else (like that they’re goobers). Everyone likes it though. You want to not like it because your Mom likes it, but you cannot deny its pull. You like it. It’s good. Have you met anyone that hates Simon & Garfunkel? I haven’t.

It really is good. It opens with the title track, which is a big, gorgeous vocal performance that keeps getting bigger. The accompanying music gets bigger too, without drowning out the vocals. The sentiment of the song is just so lovely too: I’m here for you, you’re my friend. It’s nice not to have an entire album of love songs.

Cecilia could be a love song, I suppose, but it’s really about a man who is desperate to reconcile with a cheating partner who sounds pretty toxic. I’d love to hear Cecilia’s side of the story. I really would. I think about this all the time. Especially because they are both such GOOBERS. It’s a really fun song though. When they do upbeat, they really go for it. See also: Keep The Customer Satisfied, Baby Driver (it has a sax solo, c’mon!).

These Goobers know how to put together a damn fine arrangement that makes some of their songs feel deeper: El Condor Pasa has a really Spanish feel to it with the guitar (duh) and some flutes. It’s a whole vibe, that matches the lyrics. Would I rather be a sparrow or a snail? A forest or a street? A hammer or a nail? These are the big unanswered questions in life, right? No, but it feels like it in this song because it’s mysterious and philosophical. This whole vibe thing is also successful in The Only Living Boy in New York. It sounds like what it’s about, and it’s so beautiful. But totally different to Bridge Over Troubled Water and El Condor Pasa. The slower more ballad-y songs on this album sound like a damn Bob Ross painting.

The Boxer is maybe (???) the most well-known song on this album, but that’s based in absolutely no fact whatsoever on my part. I have no idea. It just seems like most people know that one. Like it got more radio play or something. I like it a lot, but there’s low registering repetitive sound running through it that has always just sort of bugged me. Possibly because I just cannot identify what the instrument is? What is that sound? It could be a cello/double-bass, or some kind of horn, or honestly even a percussion type thing. But I don’t know what it is. Honestly it kind of sounds like a duck to me. I’ve even wondered if it’s a kazoo. I haven’t looked it up, but I could. But will I? I’ll just forget about it until the next time I hear it: Sometimes (often) the duck kazoo is all I can focus on instead of the rest of the song which is pretty fucking pretty.

For a really soft, folky, gentle record made by two goobers, I would also definitively state that it’s somehow full of straight bangers. I could elaborate further on that but I’d suggest you listen to it yourself and you’ll see what I mean.

ETA: it’s a damn BASS HARMONICA. I honestly wasn’t that far off with the kazoo. Also, The Boxer took over 100 hours to record. This blew my mind.

[thelampisaflashlight]

And there was... two beds, but, unfortunately, you're stuck with me.

So I've mentioned before, and many folks may have discovered through some of my chat posts that I am, in fact, lactose intolerant.

A travesty considering I am both French and Swiss (this is true but it's also so I can make a swiss cheese joke even though, yeah, I don't think swiss cheese comes from Switzerland, get off my dick-), and come from a "cheese goes on pretty much everything" family.

However, my inability to consume dairy has lead to some funny -if not a touch unfortunate- occurrences... at least they've funny to me.

Introduction out of the way, I bring to you, the tale of the worst thing I did while sharing a bed in a hotel room with a friend.

So this was years ago now, but I remember this particular bit quite clearly.

I was visiting a friend of mine (we'll call them Kazoo -a joke that if they see this they will understand- for the sake of brevity) in another city where they were attending university along with our mutual friend (We'll call them Son -another joke they'll understand-) and their mom, because we obviously all couldn't stay in their dorm room, Son's mom rented a hotel room for us all to stay in.

Basically the plan was that we'd all stay in the hotel room the first night, and then on the second night we (Son, Kazoo, and I) would go to Kazoo's dorm and stay there while Son's mom got the hotel room to herself.

Well, the hotel we were staying in this particular time featured a good sized bed and then a sleeper sofa, so the sleeping arrangements worked out as follows: Son and their mom were on the sleeper sofa -since their mom would get the bed the next night all to herself- and Kazoo and I wound up on the bed.

Now, I couldn't tell you exactly what I had for dinner that night, but I can tell you it was pizza adjacent and there was definitely cheese on it, and probably some other milk based desserts involved at some point in the evening.

Point is, my stomach was deeply, deeply unhappy.

However, whilst out and about, you don't really *hear* just how much noise your stomach is making unless it gets really quiet, and it was pretty loud in the city, so aside from a few gurglies, I was fiiiine.

Or so I thought.

We get back to the hotel room, and we're all ready for bed, yeah?

We had to get up at an at least somewhat reasonable time so we could go explore the city the next day, so we all climb into bed late-ish at night, and that first little lapse into complete silence happens.

This is when I feel something brewing.

Something heinous.

I try to will the feeling away, because there is no noise to cover up whatever sound my body was about to make, but it slips out anyway.

The tiniest "frrt" sound in the midst of dead silence.

We all laugh.

It's funny, it's all good.

However.

Laughing makes my stomach contract.

I unleash another squeaky sound from my body, and the problem is, if you know me at all as a person, the funniest goddamn thing to me is total silence followed by a random, brief, sound.

All this to say I trapped myself in an endless loop of laughter, and Kazoo, who was in the bed next to me, absolutely wanted to murder me.

Not because I kept giggling, not even because of the farting itself, no.

No, I found out years later that the main reason they were so steamed about it was because they had gotten up to fart in the hotel's bathroom because they didn't want to gas me out, and had they known I was going to just let it rip like that, they would have just stayed comfortable in bed.

Anyway, I thought about this because I was thinking about what cheese substitutes are good vs bad, 'cause one straight up makes me sick and another one kind of tastes like butter?

Yeah.

The places my mind went.

[m1d-45]

you think genshin characters get their vision and then create an outfit to match it? or their vision just so happens to match their color palette?

but like,, what if their chosen signature outfit is blue themed and they're a pyro??? how will everyone know that they're a pyro vision wielder and not a hydro or a cryo????? god forbid its a teal blue and they're mistaken as an anemo and their friends are dead!!!!

- curse anon

on god fr, i have not given this anymore thought than surface level. random bullshit go

i think that the outfits we see aren’t their day to day colors. albedo’s is the closest one off the top of my head to what he typically wears, but most everyone else has… it’s like their more formal outfit?

like baizhu. man doesn’t have the time nor energy nor patience to go through all those charms, but for more formal occasions, such as news of the creator visiting the pharmacy…

ayato and ayaka may be an exception just cause they are both heavily involved in politics, but like. kujou sara? we all know how impractical the genshin outfits are, it’s insane sometimes

if i had to make a sort of ranked, non exhaustive list, then it would look kinda like this:

outfits closest to day to day wear: venti, albedo, xiao but that’s a bit of a stretch, the raiden shogun but idk if that technically counts

outfits are a ‘formal’ attire, but it’s still somewhat feasible that this could be somewhat daily wear: ningguang, kazoo, heizou, diluc, tighnari, a good proportion of the male cast

outfits are clothing reserved for special occasions/events: baizhu, yun jin, beidou, kokomi, noelle, nilou, a good proportion of the female cast (cause GOD knows how mhy feels about practical outfits for their fem characters)

the way i see it, they would want to make a good impression, typically by dressing up in their best! obviously there’s some bias what with hoyoverse and their failure of a believable design team, but we make do with what we have. i ranked them based off my entirely subjective opinion, so obviously this isn’t set in stone or any sort of authority, but hopefully that wasn’t a waste of your time to read.

to address visions… perhaps that ties into the prior chart. bringing back up albedo, our lab-safe king, nothing about him really says ‘geo.’ you could recolor his vision to anything and it would likely fit him fine. his design isn’t centered around visions, its about character and practicality. he’s an alchemist, he wears a uniform, it’s all plain white so he knows when there’s a spill, he wears gloves and tall boots with low heels, i went on a rant about his design before and i’m .2 centimeters away from doing it again.

the archons get free passes on their colors for obvious reasons, and klee is a borderline pyromaniac so she gets one too. jean, lisa, amber, and kaeya (to an extent) all fall in the last category from before, which would translate as.. like a way to signal “hey, this is what i’m good at”? i’m losing the words for it, but a “this is my vision, this is what i offer” sort of deal?

of course, this is biased data since from a game design standpoint, hoyoverse would obviously want it clear that gorou is geo, yelan is hydro, hu tao is pyro, etc etc so it makes sense i can’t explain everything (barbara isn’t all that obviously hydro, yet keqing is clearly electro, and yet their characters would clash on that… but whatever i’m not an artist). however, from a purely sagau standpoint, the best solution i can come up with is sometimes it’s because their formal attire draws attention to their vision (notably lisa, ningguang), and sometimes they just have a sense of style that differs (heizou, beidou probably), or sometimes it’s just for practicality’s sake (razor, albedo), and i have a feeling this is directly proportional to how close their outfits are to day to day wear

[aemondslefteyeball]

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi (8)

Masterlist

[Modern!Aemond x Fem!Reader]

[Warnings: Death, gore, aftermath of animal attacks]

[Summary: Let's gather 'round the campfire and sing our campfire song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!]

Word Count: 4.6K

Chapter 8

Small cursive lettering filled the pages of the journal, and intermittent doodles marked the page, words overflowing around all of it. A discordant look at your inner thoughts, Aemond mused. 

Dear Dad,

I met my fiance today and he is the absolute fucking worst. You would have kicked his ass. I wasn’t expecting him to sweep me off my feet but the first fucking thing he did was shove a prenup in my face. Nice to meet you too, asshole. 

He couldn’t have been that callous, could he? He had to have given you some form of acknowledgment. Was his first impression that bad? Aemond frowned as he skimmed over the pages, looking for mentions of his name until landing on the next passage.

Dear Dad,

Today has been the worst birthday I’ve ever had. Aemond started my day off by barging into my room at five in the goddamn morning to interrogate me about Sunspear. He apparently saw my post and demanded to know why I was spending “his” money taking vacations. He literally just stood there bitching until I walked into the bathroom. I don’t think it ever occurred to him that I have my own fucking money and my own means of travel. After that the Kazoo preacher was back on the subway screaming about 'the children', and if all that wasn’t enough fucking Jaydee didn’t put the boiling chip into the test tube and it blew up on my goddamn arm. I wanted to take Vaeryx for a quick flight but the wheels were too chewed up after my last landing. Your jacket doesn’t smell like you anymore. I really wish you were here. 

Aemond swallowed suddenly. He didn’t even remember doing these things, but the pen marks dug into the page afterward. Another wave of guilt hit him at the realization that he didn’t know when your birthday even was. The journal hadn’t been dated, and he never asked.

Dad, 

I got accepted for a summer workshop at Storm’s End Tech!!! If that isn’t exciting enough we’re studying bacteria at the thermal vents off the coast of Cape Wrath!!! Professor Webber really pulled through for me, she was saying that this will really help me when I apply for grad school. Do you remember the house we lived in when you were stationed at Qaehrys? The one with the big window that led onto the roof? I really miss laying there and looking at the constellations with you. I took your telescope out tonight and searched the moon until I found Vaegon’s Crater. Dr. Lee said that’s the most likely spot they’d put a base and it’s apparently less than a decade away. When it goes up I’m going to be there, and I’m bringing your telescope.

Wait, what? Aemond knew that you were a student, but he always assumed you were pursuing business or something. Guilt crashed over him at the realization he had never taken the time to ask you what you were studying. He had never taken the time to ask you anything about yourself, really. He never really had much interest in microbiology, but maybe you were like Helaena and her entomology. Beyond that, never in a million years would he have guessed that you were planning to become an astronaut. You? Did they even send microbiologists to space? Aemond sighed as he put the journal down. He told himself that he was doing this to get to know you better. To support you. But he felt like he knew even less than before and at the cost of your privacy. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The trilling of insects was the only source of noise, save for the torch. A melancholy silence was cast over the circle surrounding the pyre. Aly held the torch, dried blood and tear tracks staining her face. Silent sobs started to erupt from her as the kindling beneath Sabitha’s feet sparked. She next lowered the torch towards her girlfriend’s knees, following it with her shoulders. Aly wiped globs of snot off her face with one hand, using the other to cast the torch into the burning base of the pyre. Tears fell as you squeezed Nettles’ shoulder. She turned her gaze towards you, her massive brown eyes brimmed with tears. Your gazes shifted back to Sabitha, and the sight of teeth peeking through her torn cheek. “Mother above,” Myri exclaimed, her gaze fixed on Sabitha’s twitching hand. “She’s alive.” Panicked looks shot out across the group. “She’s alive! She’s-” 

Aly ran towards the pyre, repeated “No’s” being exclaimed as she wrenched Sab off the pyre by her belt loops. Sabitha fell with a heavy grunt, and Aly immediately set out to put out the flames that had cropped up on Sabitha’s jeans. The redhead just lay there, intermittent grunts and gurgles emerging. You lowered yourself to the ground as quickly as you were able, lifting her head so that Myri could rest a blanket under it. “I got you,” Aly whispered, grasping her girlfriend’s hand.

“Really?” Sabitha groaned, “Fire?” The gurgle couldn’t suppress the sarcasm in her tone. She let out the smallest chuckle she could manage. The rest of you were still too keyed up from adrenaline to do anything but pant and stare. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just one more, Aemond told himself. He stared at the journal ahead of him and pulled it back onto his lap. One more, and that was it. He would put the journal back and he would leave it this time. His fingers brushed over the indents in the page, smudges bleeding out to the right. 

Dad!!

 I think I met somebody recently. 

Happy doodles filled the margins of the journal, little flowers crammed into each individual corner. 

She’s in my lab. She’s Westerosi, but I think you would really like her. R’hllor, what do I even say? She’s so fucking smart, Dad. She’s kind of shy but it’s actually really adorable. She’s just… a ray of sunshine. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say something mean about anybody else. Just really, really uplifting. Gods, it feels so good getting on the train knowing I’ll see her dorking out over S. aureus with that adorable ass grin on her face. I don’t know if her being so different from Aemond is what makes me like her, but it’s such a breath of fresh air. 

Aemond stopped reading the entry after the last mention of his name. While his stomach turned at your Hallmark-worthy descriptions of Emerson, he was grateful it provided a natural stopping point for him. He felt a small pang of pity. Here you had written a dissertation about how much you liked her, only to have it repaid with a whole two months of devotion. No more. Aemond put the journal back into the nightstand and shut the door behind him.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your teeth grit as your foot hits the ground. Rhaena shot you a comforting smile, and you responded with a brief one before putting one foot in front of the other. Sabitha grunted from behind you, leaning against Aly. The two of you paused for a moment so the pair could catch up to you. “When we get back we’re gonna need clean water and thread to stitch them up.” Aly nodded while you shifted your weight onto your left leg. 

“Leave me.” Blood was soaking through the bandage Rhaena had wrapped around Sabitha’s face, her voice coming out muffled. Between that, and the eerie sound of her sucking air in through the hole in her face it was a wonder anybody could understand her. 

“Sab, stop it.” 

“It’s-” Sabitha’s head lolled into Aly’s cheek, her auburn hair stiff with dried blood. “Not… Safe.” 

“Don’t say that! We’re almost there!” Aly looked like she was about to start crying again, her powder blue jacket darkened with brown stains. 

“Let them go,” Sabitha said, one hand coming up to weakly clutch at the vertebra around her neck. “Let them go.” She turned her gaze towards the rest of you then, grunting quietly before Aly acquiesced. 

“Go back to the cabin as fast as you can.” She turned towards you, Nettles, Rhaena, and Myrielle. It hurt like a son of a bitch, but you had kept a decent pace so far. Thankfully it seemed like the wolf didn’t fuck up your muscles. There was still a mottled wreck beneath the cloth bandages, but it was superficial. It would heal. You would be fine. 

“Aly?” Nettles whispered, worry furrowing her brow. 

“Go.” Aly ordered. 

The four of you got back to the cabin after what felt like an entire day, pain slicing through you with each step you took. For your part, all you could really do was be grateful that you could walk. This godsforsaken place put a lot of things into perspective. The four of you finally stumbled onto the porch, as panicked gazes took in the massive bloodied bandage on your thigh. “By the seven.” Sara got up off the porch as you moved to sit. “What happened?” Looking around the group, the blonde’s eyebrows wrinkled. “Where are Aly and Sabitha?” 

“She… she told us to leave them.” Rhaena panted out. Floris took her hand and Baela scrambled to your side, tears brimming in her eyes. 

“We were attacked by wolves.” But with how big they were, they might just be direwolves. Who knows, maybe a snark would cuntpunt you next. Anything was possible in this shit-ass forest. Fuck this country. Barba rushed out of the cabin, her icy eyes widening in panic. A hand clapped over her mouth as she looked at you, her jaw trembling for a moment. Gathering herself, she grabbed Rhaena by the arms. “Show us where to go.” 

You grunted as the hot needle punched through your skin. Exposed to the open air was a horrifying sight. The flesh of your right thigh was mottled with black bruises, puncture marks on multiple spots. The cherry on top of it was the massive chunk of skin that had been wrenched from your leg when you kicked the wolf off you. Clenching your jaw, you hummed through your grit teeth. Seasick Sarah, had a golden nose. Hobnail boots, wrapped around her toes. The needle pierced through each layer of gored skin, fiery pain erupting as it happened. The parts of the wound that could be sewn up were. The chunk of skin that had been torn off could not be sewn shut. So as of right now, you were biting down on Floris’s belt, preparing for Nettles to press the heated knife onto your wound. You looked away, staring off into the darkness outside the window. The first burn lasted for a few seconds, and you bit into the belt hard enough that your jaw ached. After that, the next session started. You started to feel hazy about what seemed to be halfway through, and when she was done you were drifting in and out of consciousness. Sara sat at your side, stroking your hand. You pulled the blanket up more tightly over yourself, shivers wracking you. “You hanging in there?” She questioned, her tone soft. “Need another blanket?” You nodded abruptly. 

“I thought it’d be warmer.” You murmured as her face drifted in and out of your field of vision. Her silvery hair flickered in the light, darkened roots showing at the crown of her head. When she placed the blanket over you, you curled into it. Turning away from her, you sank into the warmth of the cot and the blackness of sleep. 

Muffled screams roused you, and you turned to the source of the noise. Disorientation clouded your mind until you caught sight of Sabitha lying on the table. The same hooked needle that went into your thigh was currently being plunged into her face. Baela’s expression wavered as she held Sabitha down. Please pass out. Sabitha continued to writhe in pain, thrashing against Baela. Please just let her pass out. Muffled shouts echoed through the cabin, and you found yourself covering your ears. Barba stared at Sabitha, a conflicted expression on her face as she grasped the weirwood pendant around her neck. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aegon sat across the table from Aemond, one arm on the back of the booth and the other dipping a fry into ketchup. He ate that, chewing for a moment while grabbing the massive, greasy burger and dunking that into the pile of ketchup afterward. Aemond held back the urge to physically cringe. His brother’s disgusting eating habits had always irritated him, and Aegon weaponized that. “So.” Half-chewed burger rolled around in Aegon’s mouth, and Aemond clenched his fist under the table for five counts before releasing it. “Moat Cailin?” He grinned, taking another slobbering bite of the dripping burger. 

Aemond rolled his eyes. He cut into his chicken vesuvius carefully, picking up a piece of chicken and potato before properly chewing it, placing his silverware down, and staring Aegon in the eye while doing so. When he finished chewing he finally spoke. “I’m going out on one of the search rafts.” He said flatly, cutting another piece of chicken. “Maybe you should come.” A pointed stare was shot Aegon’s way, and he shrank back at the retort. It was no secret that he moved on from Sara a while back, but something shifted in Aegon’s gaze. His brother fidgeted in his seat. Aemond narrowed his eye as he ate, what was he hiding? 

“What do you think they’re doing right now?” Aegon asked suddenly, taking another bite of his burger. 

Aemond sighed. What would you be doing right now? He hoped you were dipping your feet in the Greywater, laughing with your friends. “I don’t know, trying to culture swamp bacteria,” Aemond said with a shrug, spearing a potato. “Whatever microbiologists do.” He finished.

“What?” Aegon said, his head quirked to the side like a puppy. 

“Microbiologist. Somebody who studies ba-” 

Aemond was cut off by barking laughter from Aegon. His brother set the burger down with a gross slap. Aegon leaned back in the booth, one arm cocked over the top of it. “She’s not a microbiologist.” He let out another guffaw. 

Fury rose in Aemond as he clenched his fist. “She’s not an astronaut yet ei-” Another round of laughter cut Aemond off as he slammed his fist down onto the table, a couple across the restaurant shooting them a nervous look. 

The action did nothing to faze Aegon, who continued laughing as he popped another fry into his mouth. “You’re guilting me about not going to Moat Cailin and you don’t even know your wife is an astrobiologist. Oh fuck, I knew it.” He lifted the burger back up to his mouth and took a messy bite, smacking it around. “I knew your marriage was bullshit.” He cackled, shaking his head before swallowing. 

Aemond paled, looking around suddenly, grateful that nobody seemed to be paying attention to anything other than their own meals. His eye narrowed as he took in Aegon’s smug face, his fist aching as he clenched it. “You don’t know anything.” He hissed.

“Aemond.” His brother sat up for a moment, setting his burger down. “I’m a fuck up, but I know people.” His usual candor came back to him again a moment later, taking a loud slurp of his milkshake. Aemond stared off to the side, angrily following the insipid breathing exercises Dr. Greenwood had given him. “Is that what this is about? You feel guilty because you were a dick to her?” 

“I just want her to be happy once she gets back home.” He stated flatly, hoping his idiot brother would finally drop the question. 

“So when are you moving out?” Aegon needled. “Seriously, what makes you think she’d want anything to do with you when she gets back? You don’t even know what she's getting her Master's in.” When Aemond tensed to get up he paused. “Wait. I shouldn’t have said that.” He admitted. “Hey.” Aegon made eye contact with him, an uncharacteristically serious look flashing over his face briefly. “I have a secret too.” Aemond stared back at him, nodding at him to continue. “Me and Floris have been fucking for the past year or so.” 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I have an announcement.” Said announcement fell on deaf ears, with most people turning over. Barba grabbed a metal ladle, clanking it on the wooden table. “Hello!” She banged it repeatedly, and you groaned as you sat up. “Hi! Excuse me!” Rubbing your eyes, you looked around the cabin. “Thank you,” Barba said quietly. “In light of the expedition having ended how it did, I’m going to take the dead guy’s plane and fly south. I’m going to find us help and I’m going to get us out of here.” She nodded as if hyping herself up. 

Fuck. “You’re gonna fly that thing?” Barba nodded at you, and you shook your head. When you talked back in your clearing you didn’t think the expedition would end this way. This shit was still crazy. No. There is no fucking way. “You don’t know if that plane is operable.” 

“I’ve been looking over it for weeks, and the gas tank is full.” She threw her hands up suddenly. “I’m a pilot, I grew up watching my Grandpa fly. I have two-hundred flight hours. I know that I can do this.” Your heart sank, throat clenched tight as you stared at her pleadingly. “You can’t deny that Sabitha doesn’t need serious medical attention.” 

“She’s not the only one.” Sara piped up, her gaze flickering over to her best friend emotionlessly. “Floris, tell them.” 

“I- I really don’t.” You shot a glare at Sara, in disbelief that she really just derailed this so she could force Floris into telling everybody. 

“Tell them.” 

“What is it?” Luke asked, his doe eyes confused. 

“Yeah, what is it?” 

You gave Floris the most supportive look you could muster, and she crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m pregnant.” 

Rhaena immediately stood up, bounding over to Floris. “How far along are you?” 

“Wait, did you get knocked up out here?” Myrielle asked, an eyebrow quirked in Jace’s direction. Baela’s eyes bored holes into the back of Myri’s skull.

“No, I…”

“It doesn’t matter when it happened,” Sara said, a sanctimonious look on her face. “Okay? It just matters that we get them both help.” 

Rhaena tried to grab at Floris’s stomach, and she swatted her hands away. “Rhaena, not right now.” She snapped. 

“Alright, can everybody just.” Ser Criston ran a hand through his hair, sighing. “Barba, you can’t do this.” He commanded. “No. It’s not even close to safe.” 

“There is no ‘safe’ anymore, Ser Cole.” Barba retorted. Her face was hard, different. “It’s going to be winter soon. If I don’t do this, we’re…” She paused for a moment, shaking her head. “We’re all gonna fucking starve.” You fidgeted with your hands, holding back tears that pricked at your eyes. It didn’t feel right. There was something you were missing.

“Alright, well, I’m still the oldest here, so, no.” He flatly responded, gesticulating with his one free hand as he leaned on his crutch. “I’m not gonna let you do it.”

Barba’s face hardened even further. You barely recognized this person, icy eyes narrowed to a point. She took a step forward. And another. “What are you gonna do to stop me, Ser?” Her face twisted into a sneer as she gave him a once-over. Tension filled the cabin as the two of them stared off. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aemond thought that he should feel more nervous. He sent you on a plane that crashed, it seemed only right that he should be subjected to the same fate. But he didn’t and he wasn't. Shockingly enough he felt freer than he had in months. He told Dr. Greenwood everything. Everything that Aegon told him, everything he himself had done, everything he could think of in the session came directly out of his mouth. He thought that another person knowing his sins would destroy him, but Dr. Greenwood hadn’t judged him. All she did was give him a plan to avoid the urge to do those things again. The only thing that weighed on him were Helaena’s words. ‘What if you’re looking too far south?’ When he told Dr. Greenwood about it, she had simply stated that everybody was bound to have their own theories and that he should trust the experts. Logically he knew she was right, but he still couldn’t shake the lingering worry that Helaena was. What if they were wasting their time down here and you were up near Winterfell? The plane ride was uneventful, and Aemond spent the entire time catching up with some work. He technically had until Tuesday off, but today was only Thursday and he wanted less to catch up on. The ride to his hotel was… interesting given that it was essentially a private hut floating on the water. The boat sailed through choppy gray water, and insects flew at Aemond from every direction. When he finally got to his hut, he was relieved to find that his secretary hadn’t booked a hovel. Setting his things down, he moved to enter the shower. When he got out he set about his usual routine. He opened his laptop to get some more work done before shutting it and turning the TV on before eventually settling on a documentary series about Valyria. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You set about helping the best as you could with your leg still in the condition it was. Mauling or not, work still needed to be done if Barba was going to fly the plane out of there. You tore up another plant as you watched Sara and Floris talk. There was obvious tension there, but Sara played coy and watched while Floris yanked roots out. Eventually, Floris walked off in a huff, and you set your gaze back downward. You would find her later tonight. 

When a runway was cleared and all vines were taken off you all stood in front of the plane as Barba arrived. You crossed your arms over your chest and tried to suppress the feeling of dread that grabbed hold of you. She had her backpack on, tugging on the straps as she smiled nervously at Jace. Jace in response pulled her in for a hug. They stayed for a minute before she embraced Nettles, and then Sara. “Be safe, okay?” Barba nodded at Sara’s request. She smiled as she pulled Floris in for a hug, and a few more crowded around her in a group hug. All you could do was watch, a sense of foreboding stirring off in the distance. 

When she reached you, you pulled her in as tight as humanly possible. You tried to burn everything about her into your memory, down to the scraggly feeling of her black hair against your face. Squeezing her for a moment more, you pulled your lips over your teeth. “Stay.” You whispered pleadingly. It didn’t feel right, and Barba was the one who had encouraged you to follow your gut. 

“Remember your vision,” Barba murmured in response, “Fire and light, it’s a blessing from the Gods.” When she pulled away an austerity had passed over her. You recoiled, increasingly uneasy as you pulled your arms back over your chest. Barba stepped back and opened the door to the Cessna, climbing in and unzipping her backpack. 

As soon as she sat down, Criston wrenched the door back open. “By the Gods, Barba. Please, don’t do this.” You hadn’t seen this side of Ser Cole before. Desperate. The last ditch effort of a man who knew his days of authority was behind him. 

Barba shot him a nervous smile, swallowing before she spoke. “Thanks for worrying about me, Ser, but…” The sternness flashed back over her face like a mask, her icy gaze flattening. “This is my purpose.” She reached a hand out to pat him on the shoulder before she pulled it back and shut the door with a heavy clang. Barba ran her fingers over the weirwood pendant, her gaze emotionless as she placed her stuffed bear into the copilot's seat. Her gaze passed over to you quickly, before she locked eyes with you and smiled. Discomfort arose in you, as you watched something stir in the very back of her eyes. She held your gaze long enough to make you squirm before the propeller started to spin. Wheels squeaked through the dirt as cheers rang out, you stepped forward and prayed to whatever Gods there were above that your vision was a blessing. The plane was flying as it should, and Barba successfully lifted off. A relieved smile broke out across your face, but you knew she wasn’t out of the woods yet, quite literally. The landing was the hardest part of a flight, and you didn’t entirely trust the brakes on it. The Cessna soared clear over the lake, and you ran forward with eyes pointed to the sky. 

“Oh my Gods, she’s doing it!!!” Laughter sounded, Sara clapping as you all ran to the lakefront. She shifted the plane to face due south, and you let out a sigh of relief. It had been a blessing from the Gods. Tears brimmed your eyes as you silently thanked them for seeing her through this. The plane grew smaller as she flew further away, shrinking in the mountains off into the distance. You began to cheer with the others, turning to grab Baela’s hand in excitement.

“Is that smoke?” Sara asked suddenly. Your gaze snapped skyward, and your heart dropped into your stomach. The fuel line. Angry fumes shot out of the bottom of the plane, and it started to shake. A bright flash of flame balled out as the explosion shook the treetops. A halo of light shone, a second sun in the bright sky. Sara screamed and clapped her hands over her mouth. Your body moved automatically, tears streaming down your face as you sank into the water of the lake. Rhaena tried to pull you up, saying something about your leg. Your body went limp as the sobs wracked your body. That fucking vision. And you had been stupid enough to trust it. A banshee’s wail rang out, but it didn’t register as being yours. You stared off into the distance, where sunrays broke through dustclouds and smoke. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fuck, this chapter was really really hard to write. I had no idea I would become so attached to Barba when I started writing this wtf. R.I.P Barba.

Taglist: @chainsawsangel @neenieweenie