#it;s just i'm like thinking of stuff that happens later through the school year and thinking i want things to get finished quickly

[6ix9inewiturmom]

Show And Tell- Matthew Sturniolo

Summary: When matt takes your virginity and shows you how to make yourself feel better about not being so experienced in the sex world

Warnings: Smut, Inexperienced!sub!reader, Experienced!Dom!Matt, praising, cursing, use of Y/N, Oral (fem receiving), P in V, Unprotected sex (Safe sex is great sex, cause you don’t want that late text that I think I'm late text- Lil Wayne), TW! brief talk of emotionally absent parents!

A/N: i absolutely love writing sweet Matt, but what i love writing more is MATT THE MF MUNCHHHH!!

psa: DONT STEAL MY WORK!! THIS BELONGS TO ME MYSELF AND I!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Ever since Middle school Nick, Matt, Chris, and I have been inevitable. Their mother, Mary Lou, has always taken me in as her own, considering I was the youngest out of 5 in my family, and my parents had me later in life, as soon as I learned how to care for myself, they quit raising me and only came through in times they ‘needed’ to be parents. Mary Lou was the woman I called my mother. whenever they went on a family vacation I always went with them. To the mall? I went. She basically had Quadruplets. When the triplets moved to LA, we were all over 18, and I was more than ready to leave my parent's house even though I had pretty much moved in with them for how much I stayed over, so I moved with them. I offered to get an apartment close by, but all of them collectively agreed and even argued with me about it, so now we all live in the same house.

Today was pretty much a normal day in the house, very calm, no one was filming, and we just did our own things. Matt and I had no plans, Chris went out shopping with some friends, and Nick had meetings and then dinner plans with Tara for a collab idea which left Matt and I at the house.

“Cant believe that you and my mother BOTH collectively agreed to let me walk out of the house looking like that” Matt said laughing showing me a memory that popped up on his moms Facebook page.

“To be fair you were dead set on wearing that entire outfit and your mom and I both knew we couldn't talk you out of that” I said laughing back and throwing my hands up in defense.

“That's when I dated Cassie too, how gross,” he said giving himself the Ick.

“She was the town whore, what'd you expect,” I say giggling at my comment.

“You know I never asked, whatever happened to Jackson? I just recalled he spread some rumor about him taking your virginity, and a bunch of other stuff, and you came to the house crying and Mom was comforting you and you never spoke about that again” he looks over at me as my head hung low looking at my hands.

Jackson was a guy I ‘dated’ junior year of high school, he took me on one date, it was very nice and he seemed amazing, though I should've listened to Nick when he told me Jackson was no good. After our date instead of taking me home he insisted on talking more and drove to the park in the middle of the city. His intentions were not pure. Jackson tried every which way to get me in the backseat, I rejected many many times that night and made some excuse on how I was on my period and that immediately grossed him out. Come to find out, as soon as we got back to school he spread a rumor around the entire school that he had taken my virginity and told the school I was into weird kinks. I knew I couldn't go to my mother about that because she would have taken me directly to the health clinic to ‘check if I was still pure’ so I went to Mary Lou, i and made sure to tell her to tell the boys not to bring it up to me and try their best to shut it down.

“I uh thought i told you about what happened?” i lied and nervously laughed.

“Nope,” he said popping the ‘p’ “I'm pretty sure I would have remembered something that important to where my own mother had to come to me, Nick, and Chris, and tell us not to talk to you about it, plus I mean it's been 4 years if you don't wanna talk about it I understand,” he said reassuring me.

I've always felt comfortable with all 3 of them, and always had a special relationship with all of them, and trust them with my life. I never went to them about this because I was embarrassed I was a virgin, I wasn't gonna tell them I didn't lose my virginity, considering both Matt and Chris came to me about sex advice I didn't want them to look at me any different for not being experienced enough so I lied and told them that Jackson did take my virginity but I wasn't into the weirder stuff Jackson accused me of.

“Fuck” I mutter under my breath. “Okay so, I just wanna say one thing before I tell you what actually happened between Jackson and me” I look back at him with nerve piercing through my body.

“Y/N, you know you can tell me anything” Matt adjusts himself to face me.

“So don't judge me,” I start taking a deep breath. “So Jackson made up that entire rumor,” I take my bottom lip between my teeth.

“I’m extremely confused” he scratched the back of his head laughing.

“God this is embarrassing” I place my head in my hands “fuck it, so he didn't take my virginity at all, and obviously the kink thing was a lie” I look up at him who still has a puzzled look on his face.

“So if Jackson didn't take your virginity then who did? Cause you basically swore off dating after him” he raises his eye brows in confusion.

“No one, Matt, I'm a uh Virgin” I drop my head down in embarrassment fiddling with my fingers.

“No fucking way, you gave both Chris and me AMAZING sex advice, stop fucking with me Y/N/N” he said laughing.

“Matt I'm being for real,” I shoot him an awkward smile “and please the sex advice ain't nothing, I know what I would like so I kinda made an assumption and by the looks of it, I'm guessing it worked” I nervously laughed.

“Holy shit,” his eyes go wide “why haven't you, you know?”

“It's hard for me to trust people, especially with something like that,” I shrugged my shoulders “When I hit puberty, my mother gave me a ‘save yourself till marriage’ talk instead of informing me of my body she scared me from sex, but I had gone to your mom one day when you three were hanging with Nate and she actually gave me that kinda talk and more or less told me to always make sure I felt safe and in the hands of someone I trust, and Jackson did neither of those things” I continue to fiddle with my fingers.

“You trust me right?” he says curiously

“Matt don't be stupid, yes I do” I lightly giggle. “Why is that even a question?”

“ah fuck it, never mind” he brushes it off.

“No, no, I told you something that no one knows so come on speak up,” I lightly push his arm.

“I was gonna say I could teach you a couple things about sex but i ain't too sure you'd be down for that anyway” he shrugged his shoulders turning his body back towards the TV.

“What if I was down?” I look at him through my lashes.

His head jerks in my direction, “actually?” his eyes light up.

“Matt do you know how embarrassing it is to be an almost 21-year-old who's never had sex,” a soft giggle escaped my lips.

“Have you ever like, touched yourself before?” he said slightly cringing at his words.

I was a little taken aback by his curiosity “I mean yeah, once or twice” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Did you like ever finish from that?” he shifts his body back in my direction. “I know this sounds a bit invasive but I promise if you want to do this I have a reason for asking these questions” he placed his hand on my knee.

“No… it just um” I swallow the lump in my throat “I just couldn't..”

“So you've never experienced anything sexual?” the curiosity in his voice makes me feel safer and know he's not judging me and is actually caring enough to ask and not just crawling on top of me and getting down to it.

“Nope,” I say softly

He slowly nods “Do you want to learn?” his voice goes soft.

“H-how?” I stutter out.

“Obviously if you feel comfortable enough with it, I could be the one to show you, If you catch my drift” he sends me a reassuring smile.

“Y-you would take my virginity?” I ask nervously.

“Only if you want me to” his voice trails off

“What about Nick and Chris? God that would be awkward if they walked in or something, oh my god I don't want them to think any-” he cuts me off

“Woah slow down, it's okay, they won't be back till like 9, and it's 4 now, we'll be okay kid” he laughed rubbing soft circles with his thumb over my knee. “Do you want to do this?”

I nod softly. “No this is important to you, I want your verbal consent that this is okay” he moves closer to me.

“Yes, please, I want this, all of this,” I say softly adjusting my body closer to his.

He smiles leaning closer to my face and softly pressing his lips against mine. My eyes fall shut and I turn into jello as I feel the way his hand that was once on my knee moves up toward my hip. A small smile creeps upon both of our lips. I softly pull away.

“Can we not do this on the couch?” I say laughing a little

“Absolutely,” he stands up almost immediately and picks me up bridal style walking into his room and kicking the door open as I giggle like a kid in a candy store.

He carefully sets me down on his blue silk sheets crawls on top of me and presses his lips onto mine once again making a soft groan travel between our lips.

“Can I take this off?” he says softly playing with the hem of my shirt.

“Yes” I bite my bottom lip

He smiles down at me and pulls my shirt off leaving me in my bra. He hooks his finger under my bra strap rubbing his finger up and down just looking down at me. “You're so beautiful. I don't ever tell you much” his comment makes a soft pink shade appear on my cheeks.

He leans down again kissing me and pointing his tongue out for permission to enter, my mouth opens slightly as his tongue explores my mouth, and this time his hands start to grab at my covered breast. “You can take it off, Matt” I giggle between kisses.

He gave me no response but his left hand held my lower back and his right unclasped my bra letting it fall right off my shoulders. He pulled away from kissing me and looked down at my breast in awe. “God you're Fucking beautiful” he mutters.

His mouth begins leaving kisses down from my jawline to my collarbone and stopping at my breast looking up at me through his lashes almost asking for permission without asking. I shoot him a smile and nod and his tongue licks softly across my nipple sending shivers down my spine. He smirks to himself attaching his mouth to one of my nipples and slightly tugging at my other. He sucks and nips at my nipples taking them between his teeth every now and again. My breathing gets heavier at the sensitivity and my head falls back as a soft whimper falls from my mouth.

He lifts his head up and places himself between my legs to unbuckle my shorts, shimmy them down my legs, and throws them with the pile of clothes next to the bed. He admires my choice of underwear today, smirking as they're unironically his favorite color, purple, with a tiny little bow right up top. He hooks his finger at the top of them sliding back and forth before sliding them down my legs leaving me bare beneath him.

“such a pretty fucking pussy” he groans out. he leans his head down and spits down onto my aching pussy. using his thumb he slowly moves up and down.

“Holy fuck” I gasp out.

Matt chuckles and moves his body down where his head is now between my legs. His thumb is still slowly going up and down he begins kissing down my thighs on both sides. “I want you” he places another kiss on my thigh “to tell me” Another kiss “What feels good to you alright?” he places a kiss right above my clit.

“O-okay” I say nervously

“And please don't be afraid to tell me to stop” he gives me a reassuring smile.

I nod sending him the same warm smile. He starts to place a soft kiss on my clit before flattening his tongue on my pussy and licking a stripe up and groaning once the taste of me hits his tongue.

“Oh, Matt” My breathing hitches and I throw my head back in pleasure.

His tongue begins to flick up at a faster pace making moans spill out of my mouth, his eyes are fixated on me and how my body reacts to his mouth pleasuring me.

“Fuck you're so fucking good at this” My fingers run through his hair forcing his head deeper into me.

He moans into me sending vibrations through my body as my hips jerk up and my eyes roll back. His lips attach to my clit sucking on it a little causing a squeal to fall from my mouth.

“Fuck i-i I think I'm gonna cum” I stutter out as an unfamiliar knot forms in the pit of my stomach

“Mhm” he mutters before lifting his head “Let it go sweet girl” he lowers his head again taking my clit between his teeth and flicking upwards on it.

“Oh my FUCK” I scream out when that knot snapped a wave of euphoria pierced my body and my orgasm dripped out of me making Matt move his body to watch it happen.

He wiped his mouth using his arm smiling “you okay baby?” he chuckled.

“Fuck” I breathe out “If that's why people are sex addicts I see why god damn that was amazing” I smiled up at him.

“I'm not even done yet” he smirks lifting his shirt over his head and throwing it across the room.

“Are you 100% positive you want this?” he asks as he stands up removing his belt.

“This is the first decision I've ever made that I'm 100% positive I won't regret,” I say as I watch him remove his pants and free his cock with his tip red and throbbing for attention.

He climbs back and moves me farther up on the bed. “Fuck there's no way that's gonna fit in me, that's fucking massive,” I say as my eyes stare at his cock.

“It'll fit baby” he chuckles “shit I don't have a condom,” he says rummaging through his bedside table.

“I'm on birth control, you don't need one” I smile up at him.

“Are you sure?” he smirks.

“Yes Matt,” I smile batting my lashes up at him.

“Okay then” he brings his hand up to his mouth and spits in it before gliding his now wet hand to coat his aching cock. “I gonna go slow, inch by inch and you tell me when to move, and tell me if it hurts too much I'll stop immediately,” he says aligning his cock with my entrance.

“Okay,” I breathe out.

As his tip slowly enters me I hiss. “Are you okay?” he says with a concerned look on his face.

“I'm okay just hurts” I reply biting my lower lip.

He slowly enters another couple of inches. Watching how my face nuzzled up at the new feeling. Then he slides in another few inches. After a couple of minutes, he's fully bottomed out. “Look at that, you're doing so fucking amazing,” he says adjusting himself closer to my face and brushing loose strands out of my face.

“Y-you can move,” I say nodding slowly.

He smiles before slowly thrusting out and moving towards my hips as the pain I once felt turns into pleasure in a matter of seconds.

“Oh, matt fuck faster please” I plead gripping his biceps for support.

“God you're so fucking tight” his pace speeds up as he lowers his body and begins kissing my neck and groaning into me.

“S-so fucking big” I moan out.

He rolls his hips towards mine and slams them into me. His grunts become harsher. “Fuck” he growled in my ear. “I love the way you feel wrapped around me” he moans in my ear which is almost a whimper.

“Matt” I scream out as his cock finally and repeatedly kisses my G-spot.

“Someone close eh?” he lifts up sadistically grinning at me.

I nod vigorously as my legs begin twitching and shaking around his waist and that knot forms in my stomach for the second time tonight.

“Cum all over my fucking dick baby, I know you can do it,” he said as his thrusts become sloppy.

With just his words that knot snapped in my stomach and formed a white ring around the base of his cock as my cum coats his cock. With a couple more thrusts he nuzzles his head in my neck and paints my walls a shade of white. He slowly pulls out careful not to hurt me.

“Fuck you're amazing” I breath out coming down from my euphoric state.

“Yeah? You did fucking amazing,” he smiles down at me laying next to me and pulling me into a cuddled skin-to-skin hug.

“Thank you matt” I mutter into his chest.

“No problem sweetheart” he kissed the top of my head. “You know I'd do anything for you” he softly whispers making me smile and nuzzle into him more.

“Do you want me to run you a nice bath? Or you wanna go get food? What do you wanna do, cause we got about 2 hours till Nick and Chris come home” he pulls away looking at me.

“We can shower and I can cook for us” I smile at him.

“Perfect” he smiles at me and picks me up bridal style again to carry me to the bathroom.

The way he cared for me, I knew I made the right decision. Losing my virginity to the man I knew I could trust.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N pt 2: TY TO THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS!! BECAUSE THIS WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE!! anyways i hope you guys are having an amazing evening, afternoon, morning, or night!! and i love you guys!! 🩷🩷

[realboutfatalfury]

it might just be bc it's late and i get sad sometimes when it's late but i'm sad i like feeel soooo bad about several things and i feel like i want to cry but i can't ughh idk...

[batneko]

for the last couple days I've been thinking about a Dungeon Meshi AU with the girl version of Laios from the magic mirror bonus page. Like, let's say she got married at 16, and ten years and two kids later she's escorting her youngest to magic school and planning to visit with Falin for a couple days before heading home. She finds out Falin and Marcille (I can't decide if everybody should be gender-swapped or only Laios. If Falin is The Boy he'd probably be expected to become village chief despite having creepy ghost magic, but maybe Laios's husband turned out to be a good leader so there's an unspoken "if Falin doesn't come back would that really be so bad?" among the villagers. But if Falin and Marcille are still girls that could lead to some interesting Deconstructing Gender Norms stuff. I just don't know!) have been planning to go to The Island and study a real dungeon, and instantly flips from quiet and demure (masking HARD) to excited and full of energy, and Marcille asks why Laios doesn't just come along. It'll only be a few months, both kids are in boarding schools, won't her husband understand?

The answer to that is no, but Laios has been dreading going back home for exactly the reason that it'll just be her and her husband now, no more kids as a buffer. She'll have nothing to do but take care of the house and be a Good Wife. Her husband isn't a bad person, but he's never understood her and never bothered to try, he just gets frustrated that she can't remember their guests' names, that she only wants to talk about "weird" things, that she cares more about her letters from Falin than she does taking care of her appearance.

Laios lets just enough of this slip that Marcille misunderstands and thinks her husband is a brute, and Falin has always known that being a housewife didn't suit Laios at all, so neither of them argue when Laios decides to abandon her marriage with only a brief letter back home.

On the trip Laios starts to learn magic, but she turns out to take to combat even better. Her encyclopedic (literally, it all comes from encyclopedias) knowledge of monster anatomy means she'll have the best chance out of the three of them at physically fighting things off if they can't find a trustworthy fighter to hire. But overall she's responsible for organizing their supplies and planning the expeditions. Having experience running a household comes in handy!

Of course, the three of them are pretty naive, and they run through Marcille's savings faster than expected, but they're all so interested in the dungeon that they're willing to stick out the tough times. Laios is so happy to finally be able to Be Herself around people that she starts talking about cooking and eating monsters without realizing that's a step too far for most folks. Falin is, of course, completely supportive, but Marcille and Namari shut it down most of the time. (I'm not sure where Shuro is or if he should be gender-swapped as well. Chilchuck wouldn't join the party until they've become successful enough to pay his rates. If he's gender-swapped this is her way of dealing with an empty nest.) However one day Senshi happens to overhear Laois talking about it while they pass each other and they become fast friends. Marcille isn't sure if s/he wants Laios's obsession with monsters-as-food to continue, but can't resist encouraging this because forbidden love affairs are peak romance. But no they're genuinely just friends and the thought never crosses either of their minds.

Marcille has no idea Laios has actually already had a couple of extramaritals with orc men.

(that's all I got so far!)

[dragonshoardofworks]

DP x DCMK (x DC)

Where Danny and Shinichi meet at the Hawaii where's a Ghost Convention (pre-portal and Conan, when they're both around 11–12 years old) since both sets of parents are invested in the topic. (The Fentons because they're the Fentons and Yusaku because he's researching for one of his books).

They become friends and keep contacts through messages, sharing school shenanigans, crushes, cases and family mishaps.

The One Thing that Danny doesn't share, though, is his halfa status.

First, because Shinichi doesn't believe in the supernatural (according to him, magic is just unexplained science) and second, because his change is far from any kind of "normalcy" and Shinichi had categorically stated that he doesn't want anything to do with superheroes, he's just a "normal" detective and they (the Justice League) save the world.

Though, it's not unusual that, if something weird happens in a case, Shinichi asks Danny's opinion and intel since the Fenton's library has "weird"/obscure material. (If the answer gets him too close to superhero-stuff, Shinichi passes the ball to the JL, more specifically to Red Robin, but that's something for a following reblog of this thread.)

So when Shinichi becomes Conan and settles in Ran's home, he contacts our favorite boi.

(A bit late to the @crossoverdanuary party... (^～^;)ゞ Anyway, long post in chat-style, plus an extra, so I decided to use the read more function because it was getting out of hand... (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) )

Shinichi: Hey Danny, do you know anything that should be killing you, but instead it shrinks you? Danny: Shrink as in size or age? S: Age D: Hold on, gotta check some books to be sure, but usually anything age-related is dark shit. What's for? Fun or case? S: ...It's for a case D: Well, that didn't sound ominous at all, then gotta go *faster* *few minutes later* D: Okay, the closest thing (still in the Mortal Realm) to what you asked is this jewel most commonly known as "Pandora" (if she knew, she would definitely lose her shit) D: it's a gem hidden inside another gem that glows red under the moonlight D: "if bathed in the light of the Volley Comet, it would shed tears capable of granting eternal life" S: This doesn't sound anything like what I asked you (⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠) D: Cut the sass beanpole and let me continue D: since the legend exist and it's documented, it should be reasonable to presume that someone managed to attain it, right? S: ...right *squinty eyes* D: So if some scientist tried to reproduce the same results in the *scientific way* instead of the magical one, they could have either the original "Tears" or the one who consumed them and run test and experiment on them D: whatever the case, there would be either some inferior or failed products that instead of making you immortal, *de-ages* you, which is the next best thing (i.e. you would live longer) D: but since they were "failures" compared to the immortality elixir, they could definitely become poisons. D: So! Since you were so ominous, was it really for a case or did our dear Professor Agasa dabble in alchemy? 👀 (read) D: Beanpole, I know you read my explanation and since this is really dark shit you *have* to at least give me context D: because among the warnings that the grimoire gave me, there's the thing that you become somewhat cursed S: ...Or you're cursed or you're not, there's no "somewhat" D: He speaks! 🙌 D: Give me *the deets* *long pause* D: *Shinichi Kudo* ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ S: Okay, fine! I can feel your disappointed stare all the way to Japan, stop! >Д< D: Then explain S: Okay S: so you know how I can't leave things alone when they have suspicious all printed on them? D: Your worst defect, yes, but continue D: ...wait D: Shinichi no D: HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW?? S: Still 17, thank you very much D: I mean physically, you little shit, don't dodge the question! S: ... S: ...we think 7 D: What in the Infinite Realms everloving fuck, Shinichi D: Okay, you know what? D: I'm coming to Japan and you can't stop me, you *midget*, I know what you're already going to say D: it's dangerous, yada yada D: nothing I've already seen and fought S: What do you mean?! D: Since you're *such a good detective*, deduce it yourself D: give me your coordinates in the meantime and don't you dare move from that spot S: If you send me Superman or anyone of his creek, I swear to Kami, Danny D: Please, Superman could only desire to be anything like me, now *coordinates* ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ *coordinates sent* D: good boy D: now get ready in 3 S: 3 what? D: 2 D: 1

🕵️👻

A full body shiver run over Shinichi as soon as the "1" appeared on the screen, so he looked up from his phone, searching for where the cold draft could have come from. However, the agency toilet window was closed and the closed door had a good insulation, last time he had checked.

So what...!

"Boo."

Shinichi shrieked with all the high pitch of an elementary schooler, as he whirled around to look at what, or better, who had whispered by his ear.

A white-haired green-eyed floating teenager with a black hazmat suit with white accents grinned almost maniacally at him, showing their fangs predatorily.

Anatomically they looked male and despite the unhinged expression, the body language didn't project "danger". If anything, it was loose and casual as if he (until otherwise stated) belonged here.

The unearthly glow suggested either some substance coating him that gave him that illusion, or there was magic afoot.

Irritation surged inside Shinichi: Danny knew his rules! No direct superhero meeting, only exchange of intel!

"Who are you and why did Fenton send you?" Shinichi gritted, crossing his arms to appear less like a 7 years old.

"You disappoint me, little detective, I thought you would have figured it out at first glance!" The supposed hero pouted, crossing legs and arms midair and staring back at Shinichi. "I guess that your fame had been an exaggeration, after all. Some East Highschool Detective you are!"

The teasing little smirk incensed Shinichi more than alarming him (the other knew his secret!), but the last thought made him pause.

Danny wouldn't betray him like this by informing whatever "superhero" of this situation just to help him without his consent. Their boundaries had been awesome like that and had been respected so far, despite the many trials both had faced.

So who was this person really?

Shinichi's mind focused back into deducing the teen before him, and the more looked, the more disbelief made way in his heart. (...He had said he would be coming to Japan, but not in that instant!)

"No way, Danny?"

"Fucking finally, midget! What took you so long?" Danny huffed, untangling then touching down on his feet and looking him over. "It even gave me time to take a look at your situation!"

"Hey! Your voice is different, so I could deduce it only because "if you exclude the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the Truth"! Since you would never spill my secrets to anyone, this must have been you!" Shinichi gestured to his friend, who flushed green when he registered the meaning of the words.

"Wow," he breathed, sounding pleased, as he scratched his nape, "you would believe that a ghost of me is still me instead of me betraying you, wow!"

"Wait, ghost? I thought you just become a superhero, not that you died!" Despite his insistence on not believing the supernatural, Shinichi had read the Fentons' papers on ghosts (the most recent ones, AKA the "no more biased version" as Danny had called them). And, while he hadn't told his friend this, the scientific breakdown of what makes a ghost what they are, had made Shinichi believe in the existence of ectoplasmic beings.

But to discover that one of his best friends had died, he hadn't known or could have done anything, plus Danny hadn't felt safe enough to tell him until it had become unavoidable, made Shinichi clutch his heart in agony and despair.

Probably sensing the shift and interpreting the action for what that was, Danny's face shifted into regret, as he knelt down before the shrunk detective and a ring of light lit up at his waist, washing over him and leaving a hoodie-and-jeans-clad raven-haired and blue-eyed teenager.

Slowly, as if not to spook a frozen Shinichi, Danny laid a hand on his shoulder, while the other took the free little hand to his NASA hoodies chest and splayed it there, allowing him to feel his heartbeat. As if he had known that only words wouldn't have been enough to convince the detective.

Slowly but surely, feeling Danny's sluggish but steady heartbeat, made Shinichi unclench, then lean against his friend's chest, head tucked under his chin.

Carefully, Danny wrapped his friend in a hug, knowing well that, while physical affection was welcome from him, Japanese social conventions and the Kudo's upbringing had left Shinichi a little adverse to prolonged contact.

As the apparent 7-years-old melted into the embrace and clutched Danny as well, followed by a suspicious wet sensation on his chest, the halfa realized that this was bad.

Shinichi had never sought comfort like that, according to professor Agasa (who Danny did keep in contact with, since he was more a parent than the Kudos), so to do this now...

"It's okay, Shinichi, I'll explain better what happened to me, but it's not your fault." Shinichi shuddered at these words and buried deeper in the embrace, making guilt shoot through Danny. He had caused this breakdown. The least he could do was to help him through it and some.

"And we're gonna find a way to solve what happened to you, I promise."

[roadkillremi]

Reader was a year younger than her sister Tatum, and had been Randy’s best friend her entire life. She realized she was in love with him in elementary school but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t hard to see that he’d been in love with Sidney their whole lives, and would rather have him in her life as a friend than tell him and risk losing him. It wasn’t until she’d gotten a call from Dewey the night of the massacre she couldn’t keep silent anymore. As soon as she got to the hospital and saw he was alive, she scrambled into his bed and kissed him without thinking twice.

I'm assuming this is a fic request. I absolutely love it either way and want to turn it into one.

It's a bit short.. sorry

Sooner rather than Later

Randy X F!Reader

MasterList

Summary : the ask above. Disclaimer!!!! If there's a reader that doesn't feel comfortable being Tatum's biological sister (due to race, etc.) You can feel free to think of the role as adopted sister it is not specified.

Warnings : Mentions blood, mentions death and mentions killing.

You had a late birthday compared to everyone in your friend group. While they all turned 18 you were still 17, this made you the baby of the friend group. Your slightly older sister Tatum and you were the bestest of friends. While other sisters fought you two got along perfectly. So when high school rolled around it was a breeze. You and Tatum had the same friend group. But soon all of them started pairing up and dating. Except for you and Randy.

Randy was your friend since freshman year. You two shared your interest in unusual and bizarre stuff and of course, horror movies. For you this turned into a crush that you couldn't fight off. Tatum and Dewey noticed admittedly and teased you.

1996

It was the night of Stu Macher's party, you sat on your bed flipping through a book. Tatum walked in unannounced snooping through your room.

"Me and Syd are getting ready for the party. Coming?".

"Nah. I'll stay home and watch MTV or something.." you mumbled. Tatum scoffed and leaned on her hip.

"Come on! There's gonna be beer!"

"oh joy." You raised your eyebrows. She huffed and then smirked.

"Randy's gonna be there..".

"Mm. Nice try. Now get out of my room." You put your book down. Tatum rolled her eyes and left your room.

It was hours later until the home phone rang. You picked it up, "Hello?".

"Y/N.. it's Dewey there's been... An accident. Well a couple murders." Dewey's voice went small. Your eyes widen as you went into your mom's room alerting her. She drove you to the hospital where you met Dewey in the ER.

"What happened?!" You panicked and looked around. Dewey took his hat off and held it to his stomach.

"Billy and Stu were.. Ghostface." He whispered. You blinked, "S-stu?". Your stomach dropped, that didn't make sense. Stu was a nice guy, a bit annoying but nice. He bought you and Tatum gifts, mainly Tatum. He came to family dinners and told funny stories. Billy was quiet but protective in a comforting way. It didn't make any sense, your eyes danced around the ER.

"Randy's over there.." Dewey pointed to a curtained room. You walked quickly over and looked in the room. Randy was leaned up in a hospital bed with a hospital gown.

"Y/N?" He mumbled confused. You quickly walked towards him and grabbed his face kissing him.

"I'm so glad you're not hurt.. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I like you a lot actually. And you were right about the suspects..". The two of you stared at each other in silence. He leaned in kissing you again, "I like you too..". You notice the spot of blood on his hospital gown and glance at it.

"It's fine just a stab wound.." he smiled awkwardly. You smiled back and gently touched his forearm. His face went back to concern, "Y/N..".

"Yeah?"

"Tatum... She... She didn't.." Randy went quiet. You stared at him, "No.". He just looked at you, "I'm sorry...". You got instantly dizzy and breathed heavily. He reached out holding your arm.

"I'm so sorry.." he whispered. You leaned towards him letting tears build up. A loud sob broke loose erupting your breathing. Sydney slowly walked in and grabbed your shoulder. You turn towards her and hug her tightly.

Randy let you stay with him for the rest of the night. He'd scoot over on the hospital bed letting you lay with him. You both couldn't really sleep so you just laid in silence. Your head rested on his good shoulder. He wrapped his arm around you and leaned his head against yours.

Months Later

You waited by the front door nervously. Dewey walked downstairs and glanced at you.

"He won't get here any faster.." he smiled. You looked at him, "I know.. I'm just.. nervous.. and scared.". Dewey stared at you, "No reason to be. Mom will love him...".

"I wish Tatum was here.." you whispered. Dewey gave you a sympathy smile, "I know.. she would've been happy for you.". You smiled back at him, the doorbell interrupted the two of you.

"Randy!" You opened the door hugging him. He smiled and hugged you back, "I'm uh.. I'm a bit nervous.". You smiled, "She'll love you.". You grabbed his hand walking him to the dining room welcoming him in.

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 05

I heard they put a lot of crosses in this show, sort of like how Revolutionary Girl Utena put a bunch of phallic symbols everywhere. It doesn't really impress me much, although I just considered that Dracula must really hate this anime.

This is the episode where they really get into what Rei's whole deal is. Up to now, she's been a background character with only a few lines, but she's supposed to have been doing this Eva piloting thing longer than Shinji, so what's that all about?

To begin with, we flash back to the experiment where Rei got the injuries we saw in Episode 1. At first, I just took it for granted that she had been hurt in combat, or some sort of accident during a training exercise, or her Eva violently rejected her connection to it. But here we see that they were just trying to get Eva Unit 00 to turn on, and then something went wrong and the Eva went nuts and started convulsing and attacking the observation booth with Gendo and the others.

During this mayhem, Unit 00's power cable is severed, and the pilot capsule ejects. I think Rei caused both of those things in an effort to get the situation under control. The Eva still had a few seconds of battery power, and maybe the absence of a pilot helped. It's also possible that these were actions triggered by the computer jockeys monitoring the experiment, or it was random stuff that happened while the Unit went nuts. Anyway, the pilot capsule has thrusters to carry it away from the Eva, except this test is being run in an enclosed space, so it just flies into the nearest corner of the ceiling and then drops like a stone when the propellant runs out.

Horrified, Gendo rushes down to get Rei out of the capsule, and he burns his hands on the hatch. Not sure why it would be hot, but whatever. He's so upset that he just powers through it and removes the hatch anyway, burning his hands in the process.

And then we get this shot, which looks really fucking cool. There's a lot to unpack here. Rei's supposed to be an injured fourteen-year-old girl, but they drew her like Captain Marvel or something. I'm not sure if this is intentional or not, but I think it comes up a lot. Anyway, you'll notice how upset Gendo is about this. He's not just worried about losing his only Eva pilot. He genuinely cares for Rei's safety, showing emotions we've never seen from him until now.

Anyway, she nods to him to confirm she's still alive, and as he breathes a sigh of relief, we see his glasses break, I guess from the heat and the whole commotion or something. Anyway, that's the flashback.

There's a pointless scene in the present where Shinji accompanies Misato and Ritsuko on an excavation of... something. Maybe it's the remains of the Angel Shinji killed in episode 3? It doesn't matter, because Ritsuko's equipment can't analyze the samples. They know that the Angels are composed of some bizarre form of matter, analagous to light? I guess? And even though it's completely alien to them, there are patterns in the matter that match humans. Match them how, exactly?

Shinji notices his father at another part of this facility and he asks about the burns on his hands. So Ritsuko tells the story of that botched Unit 00 experiment we just went over. Shinji is amazed to hear that his dad would go to such lengths for Rei.

At school, the boys ogle the girls during their swimming practice or whatever, and Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney accuse Shinji of having the hots for Rei Ayanami. He denies it, but admits he's curious about her.

Later, during some training exercise, Shinji sees Rei and his dad talking, and they're both smiling, which is creepy as fuck. Ew, stop it. I'm not sure if Shinji is jealous or just confused that his dad actually feels affection towards another human being.

At Misato's house, everyone's eating curry and beer. Even the penguins.

Come on, Oswald, try a bite, it'll put hair on your chest.

Ritsuko gives Shinji a new ID card made for Rei. I guess the ID's have to be renewed every so often, and she kept forgetting to give it to Rei at work, so she wants him to go to her place and do it. Misato thinks Shinji has a crush on Rei, and he denies it. He's just curious about Rei getting along so well with his dad. Ritsuko explains that they're kind of like kindred spirits, in that they both aren't very good at "living." Ouch. In any case, he's got an official reason to go meet her and find out about her for himself.

Yeah, let me back up a bit.

So he shows up at her apartment and when she doesn't answer the buzzer he just lets himself in, and sees all the bloody bandages from when she was injured. Then he finds Gendo's broken glasses from the flashback and puts them on. Then Rei finally comes out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel. She sees him wearing the glasses and immediately tries to take them back, since they clearly mean a lot to her. But they end up falling over and a drawer full of underwear spills and yeah, I think that gets us up to speed. Also Shinji's left hand is planted on her boob.

Yeah.

Shinji akwardly tries to explain himself, but Rei doesn't care. She just gets dressed and leaves to go to work. Shinji catches up to her when her ID card doesn't work, and he hands her the new one that does. He continues to follow her and asks if she's afraid of experimenting with Unit 00, since she already got hurt once before. Incredulous, she asks him if he has faith in his father's work.

Shinji's response intrigues me, because I had trouble telling before whether he and his dad are just really estranged or he's afraid of him or something else. But now it looks more like he's got some sort of grudge against him. He talks about his dad like he's a bitter enemy that everyone else would know to distrust as well.

She slaps him for that. Whatever happened between Shinji and Gendo, she remains loyal to him, perhaps to a fault.

At the base, Gendo and Rei resume their work on Unit 00, and it looks like they managed to get it right this time, but then another Angel attacks Tokyo-3, forcing them to abort the test run. Since neither Rei nor Unit 00 are ready for the field, Gendo sends Shinji in Unit 01 instead.

This is the fifth Angel, and the third one we've seen so far. It... well this was certainly a choice. Anyway, Shinji deploys to fight it, but...

Before he can even get out of the gate, the Angel fires some sort of heat ray at his Eva right away. It's like the Angel knew exactly where to strike first. Maybe this one studied the footage of Shinji's previous battles and learned a new strat.

And that's the end of the episode. The next episode preview says that Rei will come to Shinji's aid, so I'm starting to notice the pattern here. The Angels are showing up more frequently, and they're getting smarter and stronger each time. If this one knows to take the fight to Shinji, then it'll probably take two Evas to beat it, and that means the next one might be strong enough to need three Evas, and so on.

I don't think we got a complete picture of Rei in this one, but it's a two-parter, apparently, so that's okay. I'm not really keen on the parts where all the boys talked about how hot she is, or all the partial nudity, but we'll get into that at another time.

I'm much more interested in her friendship with Gendo, since they seem so distant from everyone else. But they're not going to spill the beans on that right away.

[chaifighter]

Ok but what if I really want to hear your Orson Scott Card rant?

...You asked for this.

This is definitely harder to deliver in text format than verbally, but I'll do my best.

Ender's Game is a seminal science fiction novel from the mid 80's about a space war between Earth and an insectoid alien species referred to as "buggers" (they have an actual name I think but I don't remember it). The war has been raging for years, Earth has effectively united to fight it, and particularly intelligent children are taken by the military to train at an orbital boot camp to be the next generation of soldiers. Our protagonist Ender Wiggin, a genius to end all geniuses, is taken to this space station to begin this training. (Ender is a usually-illegal third child who the government gave his parents special permission to produce, since their first two children were both unaccountably brilliant but too violent (Peter) or too gentle (Valentine) to be good child soldiers, which is uhhhh pretty eugenicist BUT THAT'S NOT THE SUBJECT OF THIS PARTICULAR TED TALK-)

The main body of the book covers Ender's time at battle school and is pretty solidly entertaining, with some genuinely interesting thought experiments on zero-g battles and psychological management and manipulation of a young fighting force (though it's, yanno, undercut by the full-page out of nowhere antisemitic raving. I'm not fucking kidding, there's slurs and everything, it's. Fucking wild.) but the really important stuff comes at the end of the book, when Ender and his trusted group of friends are put through a grueling series of simulations designed as a graduation test. Through this series of simulations, Ender, gifted and cursed with an incredible depth of empathy, begins to understand the buggers in a way that no one has before, and by understanding them, knows how to end them. To quote directly:

"In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it's impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves."

Through this understanding, he realizes that the buggers are a hive mind, and that by destroying the center of that hive mind, he can win. So he does, and the simulation ends. And then they tell him he just won the war. He has given real orders to real soldiers, and he has exterminated the buggers. He has loved his enemy, and he has destroyed them.

Compassion is the key theme of Ender's Game. It is what makes Ender and what breaks him when it is exploited. Empathy and understanding for someone deeply, incomprehensibly different from you.

So then we come to Orson Scott Card, great-great-grandson of Brigham Young, a virulent homophobe, a racist (called Obama "a black man who talks like a white man" as an explanation of his success in politics) and antisemite (looking at that FUCKING page again). He wrote this entire book that hinges on empathy, but either refuses or abjectly fails to apply that notion to his own life. It is genuinely remarkable to me that someone can craft a narrative so explicitly about the one trait they seem to lack entirely and not allow it to open some window of understanding into their own shortcomings.

But we're not quite done yet. Let's talk about Xenocide.

Xenocide is the first of 3 sequels to Ender's Game, set some hundreds/thousands (can't remember, it's a long fuckin time) of years after the events of the first book. Humanity has spread across the universe and settled other planets. The book tells the story of a small human community on a planet predominantly inhabited by the pequeninos, a race of piglike sentients with whom human contact is limited to two specific researchers. The researchers' interactions with the pequeninos are going well -- until one day the body of one of the humans is found vivisected by the pequeninos. Later in the book, it happens to the other researcher as well. All this, very understandably, threatens to spark a war.

Then the discovery is made -- the late life cycle stage of a pequenino is to transition from one of the piglike creatures into a tree, which is the form that is actually capable of reproduction. This transition, bestowed upon members of the species who have done something significant or remarkable, is done by vivisection, after which the body sprouts. The pequeninos believed they were bestowing an honor upon the researchers they killed, and were confused when they did not proceed into the next stage of life. When they learn that they in fact killed them, they mourn.

I am so genuinely fascinated by this story as a work of science fiction. I read this book pretty young, but this is all from memory, it stuck with me that vividly. When two species so utterly alien to each other begin to interact, a simple assumption of similarity can end in tragedy, even during acts of respect or good will. It's juicy! It's thought-provoking! The pequeninos are convincingly alien and the scenario makes sense. And the key thing is that they are people, they cared, they wanted to show their respect for the humans they admired. Empathy, speaking with them and understanding their view of the situation, was the only way to move forward in a constructive way, to avoid war and prevent further tragedy.

Another fascinating thing in this book: the concept of a Speaker for the Dead. Through the time-distorting effects of intergalactic travel, Ender is in his mid-30's in Xenocide, having spent the intervening centuries as a Speaker for the Dead, a position named after the role he assumed in writing his own book about the buggers as a species, laying out their story postmortem. The job of a Speaker is to tell the story of a life as the person viewed themselves -- returning once again to empathy, this time as an almost ritualized practice, as a Speaker arrives to a place where they have been requested and has to piece together the life of the deceased in order to tell the tale. (A friend of mine once promised to be my Speaker if I died first, if I'd promise the same. I think that promise still holds, though I somehow doubt both our capabilities toward the task as writ.)

Orson Scott Card loves empathy. It's one of his main themes. He keeps coming back to it, keeps emphasizing it in new and varied ways. And then he turns around and is a fucking asshole in real life. And you can't help but wonder - does he think he's succeeded? Does he think that he's managed to interact with the world in a kind and empathetic way? Does he somehow believe that he truly understands all these groups he seems to actively disdain, to campaign against, to view as alien? Does he think he loves them the way they love themselves?

After 71 spiteful little years on this planet, I somehow don't think change is in the cards for this man before he shuffles off the mortal coil. And yet I can't help thinking... he could stand to read his own books sometime. He might learn something.

[feelbokkie]

I really must be dying or something because I wanted to go through your blog since it's been a hot minute (a couple weeks??) since I forreal read through all the posts (I was voting on the polls and keeping up with the divorce(s?)/custody battles that seemed to be happening though) so I read through all the stuff for OLD so far (lol old) and now my eyes are literally stingy and tired???? What happened to my summer endurance?? I'm about to pass out and it's only like 11pm here 😭

I'm looking forward to all the new smaus you have planned though! I finished SRN before but idk what happened my brain actually doesn't remember the last couple chapters since I think some wild stuff probably was happening at work when I read them (I didn't even have time to comment back then), so I'll probs binge reread everything I missed this weekend (hopefully). But I've been gone so long and everything moves so fast now, I feel so out of the loop 😩

This is like that one time in college when I hadn't been sleeping at my dorm for like weeks since I basically became the extra roommate at my best friend's dorm instead, and then one night I came back to get something and my roommate was having a party in our tiny room with a bunch of other people from our dorm and absolutely nobody knew who I was lmao (I found out a couple years later that people considered me the dorm cryptid; many believed I existed but people rarely saw me). Also, another morning I came back to my dorm and my roommate was nowhere to be found but there was some naked dude just waking up in her bed that wasn't her boyfriend and we both looked at each other baffled, and I think he wanted to be less awkward and introduce himself to me but instead he just asked if he should leave. And I was just like "nah it's fine," got the things I needed and peaced out, and he just went back to sleep?? Except maybe I'm the naked not-boyfriend waking up in your blog confused. Idk if that analogy made any sense.

Anyways I hope you're doing good! I know you haven't been sleeping like you should 😒 but maybe my exhausted ass can sleep more for the both of us...

-👻✌️

Welcome back G!

Oh yeah, there's been... a lot. The custody battles and divorces are most of my content now I fear, lol. You're summer endurance is officially gone.

The last couple of chapters of srn were also a bit traumatic so there's that. If you reread it, I hope you had fun!

You're a naked not-boyfriend cryptid now and honestly makes sense.

I hope you're doing good as well and the school year is treating you well so far! I know, I'm working on the sleep thing, I promise! but yes, sleep more for the both of us!

[xoxomyseriesxoxo]

Hello!

Sorry to bother you, but you seem to be one of the more informed Bleach fans.

So the thing is, since Bleach started airing its new anime, my Twitter feed has over-filled with it (apparently liking any manga/anime equals liking Bleach...) and the waves of IH fans, who seem to enjoy it exclusively through bashing IR. I know my first mistake is having Twitter, but the author of the absolutely fantastic manga I'm into is posting extra material there, so I'm ready to bear the consequences XD

Tbh, I've never finished reading Bleach. I think I made it to Fullbringer arc, but at that point, I've finally realized that I can just stop reading something that doesn't bring me enjoyment and for a while at that.

I did ship IR back then (for obvious reasons), but I have long since moved past Bleach to better pastures, though I still love the aesthetic. (And Rukia, I probably would've finished Bleach if it was at least 30% more Rukia, no Ichigo necessary XD)

But recently, I've encountered the post that discussed how Kubo himself didn't like the old anime. I remember fandom drama being large enough that it affected him, though I know no specifics as I've always inhabited the peripheral areas of the fandom.

So my question is, is there like a big meta post, following the evolution of Kubo's relationship with his work or just some large meta posts analyzing the events of those times? I definitely don't want to dive deep back into the fandom, but I've always enjoyed reading those large meta analyses.

Again, only if that won't be too bothersome for you, you just have a lot of interesting posts yourself, so I thought you may know something like this or point me in the right direction.

Have a good day!

Hi! To be honest, I kind of feel like a dinosaur in the fandom now... I've started reading it as a kid and joined the fandom when I was in middle school and now I'm in college with a part job but to sum it up, I've seen most of the drama of the fandom back then.

The thing is that the dudebros on Twitter who act like they know everything about B/each and what was going on in the fandom back then fail to realize the fandom was made of an overwhelming majority of IR shippers (and for good reasons) or just neutrals (who didn't really ship anything in particular) but understood IR's appeal.

But lmao, not the dudebros and these stans making up things to feed their own lies AGAIN when no, K/ubo didn’t have issues with the old anime, it was rather the “fan” who asked the question who was bitter about it from the way they asked their question. He supervied it and he even gave positive feedback, including this tweet about ep.342 (which features filler stuff made by the studio) where he said the episode was really pretty (he had also reacted to IR trending worldwide on Twitter back then while the anime episode aired).

K/ubo also said he was very involved in the anime in an interview in 2006, including the filler arcs for example with the character designs of the zanpakutos later on in the anime etc.

K/ubo also did say concerning that the H/ellverse and D/iamond D/ust R/ebellion movies aren’t canon (which makes sense, especially for H/ellverse after that recent Hell oneshot) but rather parallels to the canon story while Fade To Black IS canon (and the movie was promoted as “a movie you should go watch with your S/O" lol) so it tells you how invested he was in the old animated series. There is a whole thread on Twitter showing you K/ubo appreciated the anime, musical and live action adaptations and how IR were portrayed there if you want to check it.

Also, the “omg IR shippers are bullies and bad people!!!!” narrative which includes these accusations about IR shippers making K/ubo run off Twitter is FALSE (it happened 6-7 years ago), he deleted his account because a p*rnstar was impersonating as him there. SJ and him took legal action and that led to him deleting his account (he made a new account a while after), so it was not due to IR shippers and fandom drama as those people claim.

Apart from that, the manga’s cancellation official announcement from SJ was sudden which explains how rushed the ending was (well, at least the part where it doesn’t answer to many questions aka if U/rahara, G/rimmjow, N/el, Y/oruichi, I/sshin, R/yuuken were alive and some of the plot holes) but the fact it was that bad was K/ubo being petty and doing that out of spite because SJ cancelled the manga. I don’t know if you can say it’s a meta about his “relationship with his work” exactly but rather how his writing went downhill because he lost the plot of his own story: you can read this pretty interesting post (this blog has pretty interesting B/each analysis posts, including this one about the ending itself). B/each’s sales started to dip at one point but it got really bad at L/ost A/gent arc and and it got worse and worse after that because he spent way too long on unimportant plots and fights (the way we all way too many chapters with that fight of his favorite character against a giant hand...) while dropping important subplots/character arcs that had pontential such as K/arin becoming a s/hinigami (which was heavily hinted in the L/ost A/gent arc and which probably explains the fillers focused on her and H/itsugaya) or R/angiku having a piece of the S/OUL K/ING in her soul before A/izen stole it from her. He also got physically sick and tired of writing this story but SJ had initially given him enough time to end the story and what did he do? Waste time until SJ had had enough and made the cancellation announcement. You have a summary of that whole mess in this post.

The post-ending claims (from K/ubo himself and from those stans) about K/ubo planning the manga’s ending since the start (chapter 1) are also false.

K/ubo is great at characters design btw (though he had the same face syndrom at one point in TYBW when drawing his characters... especially when he was drawing T/oshiro in his bankai form) but as for the storytelling, he was only good if you stop at SS, after that... Well, we know how it went. It doesn't mean we didn't get good things from the following after that tho, it just means that things gradually started to go wrong until it became too much.

I hope this answer helps you to understand the situation better. Have a good day as well!

[inf0dump]

My Creepypasta AU That I Like Too Much ft. A Block of Text

It's been four years. Four goddamn years since I came up with this concept. That concept being re-designing and re-writing the creepypasta stories that I grew up with, i.e., Eyeless Jack, Jeff the Killer, Ticci Toby, etc.

It is just now that I know what to do with it, but I don't know how or where to put it. It's difficult to figure all of this stuff out because I've changed so much of it. I've changed last names, personalities, aesthetics, so a name within the fandom doesn't mean the same thing anymore.

I feel like it doesn't belong on fanfiction websites, but it's not my own thing either. I just really hyper fixated on it for many years, taking bits and pieces of information from the first stories and logging it into my really long fanfiction. To the point where it doesn't feel like fanfiction anymore. Has that ever happened?

I don't want to change the names because I love these re-designed characters with these specific names, and I have a hard time with change. It's in my nature. And I also want to express that I love where it came from (but not who it came from, dear god). I love the place and most of the people that are in this fandom because creepypasta people from the late 2000's, early 2010's, are really cool to me.

And I'm very nervous to share what I've made because of experiences in the past with the things I'm really passionate about, because I will sometimes ask stupid questions. At least I've been told they're stupid questions. But I get really invested in the things I really like, and I want to know everything and interact with other people. I'm so desperate to interact with other people and through the things I enjoy is the only way I know how to.

This may be a lot of infodumping, but that's what I'm good at. And we're just getting started. I feel like I should take this blog in the direction of information spilling and infodumping. I changed my name to that and infodumping is practically my love language. I do it to my girlfriend and my family, and if I were to have a group of friends I would also do it to them if they would let me.

ANYWAY, this is about a completely different thing, you're probably not reading this to hear about my social struggles as an autistic (but I will happily infodump about any questions anyone has because autism is a hyper fixation as well), so let's move onto the creepypasta AU stuff, or the title: The Abyss.

The Abyss is a mix of genres. There's a horror aspect, there's comedy (or at least, what I think is funny), there's drama, there's young adult aspects, mature aspects, some romance, there's probably more. It started as an idea for a comic series, and then I realized, I can only draw people and animals. I can't draw backgrounds or architecture. Honestly, I can barely draw a full-bodied person. I've been drawing for a long time, and it's always been living things, so the comic idea was, WOOSH, out the window.

Then I realized that I have been writing fanfiction for seven years and have been told that I'm talented as a writer. Not much of a reader, but I was in grade school, and then I discovered Wattpad in fifth-sixth grade. I write a whole bunch. I wrote a twenty-something page first chapter for a Five Nights at Freddy's universe that I published on AO3, then a month or so later, deleted it because I believed I could do better.

I'm able to write non-fiction pretty effectively, especially when it's topics I enjoy. I wrote a high school essay in my sophomore year about villain archetypes in books and movies and which one was the most realistic to reality. I don't remember the conclusion. I finished the essay a week before it was to be submitted and so I had nothing to do in my English class except twiddle my thumbs.

For this creepypasta AU project in particular, those four years was spent doing various research on race, ethnicity, culture, disabilities, religion, mental health, demonology, and other subjects that would help to make this world and these characters more believable and representative of the world that we live in. Representation is an important factor to me.

I've had multiple experiences with wanting to see my own type of person in what I love, and I know that other people would want to see that too. Especially in creepypasta. A lot of creepypasta is white anime boys.

I was diagnosed with severe Tourette's Syndrome (TS) last year after suffering for a year a with saying things that I didn't mean, or doing things that I couldn't control, and it affected my mental health severely. I couldn't get out of bed and when you act like that, people laugh at you. Sure, it can be funny, some of the things I say or do, but there's a level of anxiety that unrealistically high. Especially when it comes to that Tourettic OCD side of things. When it tells me "You're going to say this" and I have to fight in order to keep words or movements down.

I confided myself in a re-design of Toby. Toby is the problematic Tourettic representation that I had at that point in time. And I hated that. It wasn't problematic for me in the sense that he would swear, or he would do something taboo in front of people. He was problematic for me in the sense that what he had wasn't Tourette's. It was speech impediment. At least, that's how I remember it, correct me if I'm wrong.

If you are a person, you want to be recognized as a person. There are people that are social anxious to the point that they don't want to be perceived, but you still need to treat them with respect. I've always been taught that people will respect you if you respect them. That's not always true, but it's a positive way to live. To think, 'I'm going to respect this person in whatever form their respect looks like.' That could be respecting their religion, their culture, their gender, their sexuality, their form of expression.

Some people may be wrong in the way that they want respect. They could hurt people; they do not respect another person or a group of people. But they deserve respect because they are a human being. If they aren't going to get respect from you, they will get respect from others, that's how it works. If you don't like a politician, don't respect them in the slightest, they are still going to get respect from other people. That's what I mean. You don't have to respect everyone; it is up to you and up to other people who deserves approval.

You don't have to like anyone. For example, the creator of Ticci Toby, Kastoway, does not have my respect. That is my opinion. They don't deserve my respect and support.

That's part of the reason that I re-designed and re-wrote in the first place. I don't like Kastoway. Toby was the first character that I re-designed. I designed him to be my own representation, and then he took over.

Toby has been renamed to: Tobias (Toby) Goldberg (It feels a little strange publishing that name for other people that's not my girlfriend to see). Toby is my personal favorite. Toby is fifteen (15) when the story starts, he has severe Tourette's Syndrome, severe ADHD, OCD, and is autistic. He's the type of autistic that really likes cats and everything to do with cats. Toby is also high-risk to be a pyromaniac, which is an impulse disorder, and he can't be formally diagnosed yet because he's not eighteen (18) years old.

Toby is incredibly tiny for his age (4'9) because of pregnancy complications, underweight because of medication, and he's Jewish-Italian-American. He lives in the Bronx borough of New York City, has a very thick Bronx accent, a mess of freckles, his Italian grandfather thick, too big to fit his face, tortoiseshell-colored glasses, and very thick, curly, shoulder-length red hair that kind of looks like a wolf-cut, but it sticks out all over the place.

I feel like I shouldn't spoil his backstory, but it's very sad and very triggering. Speaking of triggers, there's a whole lot in here because characters need to suffer, but you shouldn't. Take care of your mental health. Mental health is extremely important.

If anyone has any specific triggers I should now about, let me know. This story is both realistic horror and fantastical horror, which basically means there's the fun horror (fantastical horror) and the devastating horror (realistic horror).

If there's any questions about specific characters, or the question 'what atrocities have you done to my favorite character?' comes up, don't worry, just ask me. And if it's a character that I have never heard of, I will do research on the character and maybe your favorite will make an appearance.

Toby's and Cody's (X-Virus) re-designs are maybe the favorites that I have. But now, we move onto the plot of this whole thing. If you've been waiting for the plot, thank you for sticking around!

The plot of The Abyss is very vague, it's more the description of a place. I was originally going to commit to an episodic structure for the comic, but now, if I'm going to be posting this to AO3, then it absolutely has to have a chapter structure. But if I might be posting the chapters only to here, then I might go back to the episodic structure.

The Abyss is about a group, a main cast, of people, featuring Jeffrey, Tim, Brian, Ben, Cody, Toby, and Sally in Book One (five books in total) living in an alternate plane of existence called the Abyssal Plane, or the Abyss, which is ruled over by a demon that they called the Emperor. The Emperor is tall, faceless, and wears the skin of whatever would fool a person the most effectively.

Their job in the Abyss is to provide retribution to those that the Emperor feels deserves it. Retribution means death. Each person has their own style of carrying out their job when they go on missions. We follow each of these main characters throughout their lives and struggles in and outside of the Abyss, so I guess it's also like slice of life in a sense.

The issue I find that I stated before, is that I feel like I've changed the characters too much in order for it to still be considered fanfiction. I fear that no one will be able to recognize these characters, the only thing I have not changed is first name and some design choices. That's why I have labeled it an AU, an alternate universe.

And another thing, I still have some learning to do, especially when it comes to people of whom I do not share experience with. I've done research, but there's only so much research that you can do that is not talking to people of different cultures, different races, different ethnicities, and I am horrible with talking to people. I fake it till I make it.

If anybody has any details with their life that is outside of my experience, I would love to hear about it. I love learning about people, all kinds of people. Even if it's information that I need repeated to me, repetition is important.

Thanks for reading, I would appreciate constructive criticism, feedback, and interaction. This is my favorite thing to do: talk about what I'm passionate about. Please tell me what you're passionate about!

[peccaberry]

tell me at length about your fave character(s) and why they're so blorbo to you

Rei is legally my emotional support Blorbo at this point so I'm gonna use this to talk about him for a sec ❤️

The version of Rei I vibe with most is the one that's more or less an OC I made for my fanfiction stuff! I consiter everything that happens in Legends of Arceus to be canon to him and I kind of just made up everything else other than that.

God idk where to start so I'll just list a bunch of Rei facts and shit in a sort of list order

BEHOLD, THE REI INFO DUMP:

-Rei's full name is Rei Akabane and was born in Johto to a Johtoan father and a Unovan mother. The last name Akabane loosely translates to "red feather" and is also the name of a train station in Japan!

-Rei looks a lot like his dad while his little sister looks a lot like his mom. Rei's hair has never lain flat in his entire life and it's definitely his dad's fault.

-Rei's mom is a Pokemon Trainer with a dream of eventually becoming a fire type gym leader. She is incredibly skilled and spent her younger years training by batting on the Battle Subway in Unova.

-Rei's Dad is a mild mannered engineer with a good sense of humor and a kind disposition. He met Rei's mom when he was on a work trip to Unova to help do work on the Battle Subway. He saw a crazy fire lady absolutely tearing through her battles while laughing manically and fell in love immediately. They got married a few years later and moved to Johto where Rei was born.

-Rei had a very good childhood with parents and a sister who loved him very much. When Rei was younger he didn't understand that he wasn't also the dad of his new baby sister and insisted that he was because he loved her just as much as dad. They grew up to squabble like any siblings would but were also pretty close with each other.

-Rei grew up around fire type Pokemon because of his mom and has a soft spot for them because of it. He chose Cyndaquil as his starter Pokemon because of this and still likes to wear the associated fancy kimono as his non-work clothes.

-Rei knew he was gay before he was taken by Arceus but was only out to his online friends. He really enjoyed being a part of the online LGBT community and it helped him gain a lot of confidence in himself. He was considering coming out to his parents but was taken before he could make that decision. He feels sad that he never got the chance to know how they would have responded but thinks it would have been positive.

-Rei and his family moved to Jubilife Town ~ a year before he was sent to Hisui for his Dad's job. He hadn't really made any particularly close friends there but was hopeful about the way his life was going.

-Rei's favorite hobbies are soccer and music. He took piano lessons from a young age and learned Ukulele as a fun thing to do with his dad when he was a bit older. He's pretty talented and has a good singing voice. He plays soccer for his school's team and that's where most of his friends were met.

-Rei's dream job is being a pokemon ranger and he's still big mad that it's no longer possible. He had applied to get in to the school but was taken before he found out if he had been accepted into the next semester. Justice for my boy, he could have done it.

-Rei was put in anger management therapy when he was younger because he kept getting into fights. He had a really good therapist and usually manages to keep things under control. He has an incredibly kind heart and it helps him to think about the consequences of his actions on other people and situations around him.

-Rei is really sarcastic and goofy and likes to have fun. He tries not to take things too seriously and likes to act like a moron but it is just an act. He's very much not stupid and has pretty high emotional intelligence.

-Rei struggles to sit down and read because he has both ADHD and Dyslexia. He gets around this with audiobooks but hasn't been able to listen to any since being sent to Hisui and it bums him out.

-Rei did passably in school but was nowhere near a star pupil. He did the best he could but school is not set up for people like him unfortunately. He's clever, but not in the way a school curriculum is set up to measure.

-Rei's "type" is honestly just exactly the kind of person Volo is. He fell in love so hard and fast he might as well have been competing in the homosexuality Olympics. The fact Volo never noticed is honestly really impressive on his part, the Arceus blinders were real. Rei managed to put his life back together after Volo betrayed him but never felt like he got any real closure for his feelings.

-Rei knows how to skateboard and used it pretty regularly just to get around. He can do a few simpler tricks but nothing too fancy.

-Rei's favorite kind of music is 2000s pop but he's the kind of guy who will go for any genre as long as he vibes with the song being played. He doesn't care if people think the songs are cringe, they're *his* cringe and he lives for it.

-Rei has high platonic attraction to woman and they tend to adopt him pretty quick because he's kind and never hits on them. He comes across as a guy who just genuinely wants to be their friend and hang out and it's part of why Akari got so attached to him.

[lythea-creation]

My Boyfriend's Sister - Layan x fem Faten reader (Part 1)

summary: What happens when Layan realizes that she's in love with her boyfriend's sister? What will she do and how will Laith react when he finds out?

warnings: family issues

word count: 2.081

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated. If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

I'm going to write a second part for this. Feel free to make suggestions.

The story isn't proof read yet.

@fictionlover thanks for the request and for being patient. I didn't paste the request here because it's so long.

----------

Layan's PoV

“Hey! Earth to Layan”, Rania ripped me out of my thoughts. “What's gotten into you?”, she wondered with a chuckle.

“Sorry. I was just daydreaming about Laith”, I enlightened her with a happy smile.

“So I guess your date was great”, she noted smirking.

“Yeah, I just wish we didn't have to hide all the time”, I considered.

“One day you won't have to anymore”, Rania reminded me.

I nodded, but was kept from anything as Miss Abeer started the lesson: “Girls, I need to make an announcement. Our strict class system was criticized by one of our major sponsors. Therefore we will do more projects with the other classes starting today. Each of you will get paired with a student of another class. Your partner will be drawn randomly.”

Of course the day had to be ruined like that. Discussing such a minor thing was not worth it though.

Miss Abeer took a box from her desk and handed it to someone to pass it through the class.

I took one of the small folded papers and passed the box on.

(f/n) Faten. Of course I had to get the principals daughter. At least I would probably get a good grade.

I took a look at the board.

Miss Abeer had written down several unfamiliar names.

“Everyone who has drawn a name that is written down on the board has to go over to their classroom. The rest stays here”, she instructed us.

Luckily (f/n)'s name was not on the board. So I could relax and wait.

“Guess I gotta go”, Rania declared and left the room with her stuff.

Soon later half of the class was gone and the students from the other class appeared.

I was not really looking forward to this project. So I figured it would be best to get over with it as fast as possible. Hence I began reading the task and text.

“Hey. You're Layan, right?”, a soft voice addressed me.

“Yeah”, I replied absentmindedly before looking up at her.

I caught myself staring at her for far too long. How could the uniform suit her so well?

“But wait! How do you know me? I think we've never met?”, I realized.

“Um ...”

God! She was blushing and it was the cutest thing I had ever seen.

“Never mind”, I brushed it off. “Let's just do the tasks.”

She nodded and started reading everything.

Honestly it was hard for me to concentrate now with her sitting right in front of me. What was all of this supposed to mean? Was it because she seemed to be shy and was therefore basically the opposite of the people I was usually spending time with?

“Uh … are you done reading?”, she pulled me back to reality.

I had not noticed how much time had already passed.

“I read some of it before you arrived here”, I avoided her question.

She went on to talk about the topic for a while and asked me questions about it every now and then. Obviously she was smarter than most of our year.

“Okay. So we're finished with the text, but we're supposed to search for more information on the internet, right?”, I reassured.

“Yes, I'm gonna get us a tablet”, she announced and made her way over to the front desk where several tablets were situated. Good thing about a prestigious private school.

(f/n) placed the tablet in front of me and put her chair next to mine to make sure we could both take a proper look at the screen.

My focus was rather on her closeness though. Why was my heart beating so fast? Usually I did not have any problems with that. The only exception was Laith and even with him it was not this bad.

“Dammit, Layan! Don't tell me you're seriously in love with Ms. Faten's daughter”, Rania remarked when I told her everything.

“In love? Why should I be in love with her? I'm with Laith, remember?”, I stated.

“Is he still on your mind though? Because to me it clearly looks like you got yourself a big new crush”, she noted seriously.

And if Rania was being serious it had to mean something.

“But everything with Laith is just starting to get more comfortable”, I pointed out.

“Okay. Let's put this differently! Who would you prefer to spend time with right now?”, Rania questioned.

I stayed silent.

“Do you wanna be close to her? See her, be with her, touch her even in the smallest ways?”, Rania considered.

“Yes, I guess”, I admitted.

“Have you ever felt this strongly around Laith?”, she wondered.

“I … no. No not like this”, I confessed.

“I think you're in love with (f/n). Damn, Layan! What do you wanna do now?”, Rania exclaimed.

“I dunno. I mean … what am I supposed to do? I don't even know if she likes me and Laith is great. I don't wanna screw everything up. I really like Laith. Just not as much as I like (f/n)”, I realized.

“We have more lessons on the partner project to finish it. Just try to make a move on her and see how she reacts”, Rania suggested.

I nodded at her idea.

But the next time (f/n) and I worked together I could not gather the courage to bring the topic on in the slightest. She was so focused on the task that I was not even sure if she really noticed me.

During the third lesson together I at least managed to try to make a proper conversation.

“You're really hard-working”, I noted.

“Well … I need an A on this”, she proclaimed.

“Why? I mean it's just one of many projects. I'm sure it doesn't make that much of a difference”, I assumed.

“You've no idea”, she mumbled so quietly that I almost did not hear it. “My mom has high expectations”, she enlightened me. “Anything but an A is a disgrace for her. I can't bring shame over her name after all.”

“Sounds rough”, I stated quietly.

She had to be under a lot of pressure. I had not even considered that.

“You know that you aren't just defined by your grades though, don't you?”, I inquired.

She looked at me surprised before looking back down on her notes.

The bell signaled the end of the lesson and therefore my time with (f/n). I still had not made any progress in telling her my feelings for her.

“We need to do the presentation next Monday. Do you want to come over to my place to finish everything tomorrow?”, she offered.

Going over to her house on a Saturday. “It's not a date. You're just doing school work. Calm down!”, I screamed at myself in my head.

“Sure. How about twelve?”, I suggested.

She nodded and scribbled something onto a paper before handing it to me. “Just text me if anything comes up”, she noted.

Now I had her number and address. That was some kind of success at least.

“So how did it go?”, Rania wanted to know later leading me to show her the noted (f/n) had written me.

“It's about finishing the project, but at least she invited me over to her place. Maybe I'll get a better opportunity there”, I hoped.

“You can do it, Layan”, Rania cheered me on.

When I was at home I requested Hazem to drive me over to (f/n)'s place.

“It's a school project with the principals daughter. So there's no need to worry”, I immediately added.

“Fine then. I'll drive you”, he agreed.

I thanked him and the next day I was standing in front of (f/n)'s house.

Of course her mom opened the door. “Hello, Layan. (f/n) is waiting in her room upstairs. It's the second on the left”, she greeted me.

“Okay. Thank you, Ms. Faten”, I replied with a polite smile.

The last thing I needed right now was more trouble with (f/n)'s mom. We had had more than enough terrible encounters in the past.

As expected the house was huge, but a bit lifeless.

Hesitantly I knocked on (f/n)'s door waiting for her answer before entering the room.

(f/n)'s room was the complete opposite of the rest of the house. It was comfortable and decorated with pictures and plants.

“Hey”, she greeted me with a shy smile.

Why did she have to be so cute?

“Hey! Your room is cozy”, I stated.

“Thanks. Yeah, you saw the lifeless decoration downstairs”, she alluded.

My eyes stopped at one particular photo and I could not help but pick the frame up.

“Sorry, Laith isn't here. He spends most of his time at his beloved bachelor pad”, she enlightened me.

“So you're his sister?!” It was rather a conclusion than a question.

“Yeah. That's why I knew how you look like. I just didn't want you to judge me as his sister”, she proposed.

“So he told you about me?”, I wondered.

“A lot actually. He's raving about you a lot. I get why. Mom doesn't know though”, she informed me.

“But his last name is Radwan”, I recalled puzzled.

“He wanted to keep dad's last name after the divorce”, she pointed out.

“Shit”, I mumbled.

“Sorry. He probably should have told you himself that our mom is the principal, but he was afraid that it would scare you off or something”, she defended her brother.

I had fallen in love with both siblings. How pathetic! Now everything was way more complicated. Should I simply ignore my feelings for (f/n)? One look at her told me that I could not do that.

“(f/n), I need to tell you something pretty bad and I hope you won't hate me after it”, I admitted.

Her concerned eyes seemed to be boring into my soul.

“I know I'm dating Laith, but I realized that I'm in love with somebody else”, I confessed.

I could not read the expression on her face, but if I had to call it anything I would say distressed.

“It's you. I've fallen in love with you”, I continued.

“What?”, she stammered overwhelmed.

“I didn't plan to. But I can't ignore it now. I will definitely break up with Laith because it wouldn't be fair to be with him while loving his sister”, I pronounced.

“Are … Are you serious?”, she questioned.

I nodded.

“We … we can't ...”

“Wait! You're considering being in a relationship with me?”, I interrupted her.

“No, I'm not. I can't do that to Laith. He doesn't deserve it”, she claimed.

“But you want to?”, I inquired.

“That doesn't matter”, she shot back.

“Yes, it does. Do you have feelings for me?”, I asked her.

“Yes, I do. But that doesn't change anything. I won't do that to him”, she insisted.

“You're stubborn. Honestly I kinda like that”, I noted making her blush. “Now back to the topic. What are you doing for yourself? You're working hard to get amazing grades for your mother. You're ignoring your feelings, so you won't hurt your brother. What about you?”

She averted my eyes.

“What is it?”, I worried.

“Mom would be furious if she found out. Me being gay. You out of all people being my girlfriend. And she will absolutely despise me when she gets to know that I stole you away from Laith. Laith is her golden boy”, she stated.

“But will you seriously be happier by hiding?”, I wondered.

When she did not react I cupped her cheek with my hand.

She leaned into my touch and I could not help but smile at that.

“You deserve to be loved for who you are”, I told her.

Suddenly she started crying and I did not hesitate to pull her into my arms. It was like all the pressure was finally catching up to her.

After a while she pulled away from me, apologized and disappeared inside the bathroom.

When she returned she took me completely off guard. She kissed me. Had I broken her now?

Part 2

[ineedmycoffee]

today I found my younger sister was being sexually harrassed by one of her " friends "

Hi guys, this is only going to be a vent because right now I can't get this off my mind. So earlier this after noon I (18f) and my mom (40f) were going to pick up my younger brother and sister (14m) and 13f) from the library. While we were in the car I was watching funny videos on my phone then my brother, lets call him (B) gets into the car and we were waiting on my sister, we'll call her (S) so after a minute we see (S) and she's talking with her friends, then she gets in the car. We greet her but she seemed off when she got in, mom asked her what's wrong and she said it was just stuff at school but my mom pressed then she admitted that one of her female friends let's call her (A) had been making her uncomfortable and touching her inappropriately. My mom and me were shocked and this made my stomach drop and my heart clench, she went onto say that her friend had been apparently rubbing her shoulders and I think grabbed butt, the reason I say that was because I was so pissed that I was barely listening to her. I was angry and heartbroken; never in a million years did I expect this would happen to her. My mom told her that this wasn't OK and that they were going to file a complaint and speak with the principal on Monday. My mind's a blur right now, my is an amazing and funny individual and I don't understand how this can be happening to her.Also, it turns out her friends have been going through alot as well (A) wasn't the only one who was being a toxic friend there was another, we'll call her (E) I'm sure on the full story but apparently when (S) went to talk to (E) about this she didn't give a damn and had been acting nasty towards (S) and her friends. This just ticked me off even more; a few minutes later during the car ride (S) gets a call from one of her friends we'll call (M) apparently (E) had set him off and he was having a melt down, it was also mentioned in the call how (M) had been beaten by his dad when he was a kid (S) starts comforting him and reassures them that everything's gonna be fine after a few minutes the call ends. Now this is the part where it messed me up the most, once we got home and we were getting settled I overheard (S) talking with one of her online friends on the VR about today she mentioned when the harassment began, it had been going on for MONTHS when (A) had " accidentally " grabbed her boob and when (S) told her to stop she said that it was OK because " girls touch each other's boobs all the time " LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK- and apparently today (A) had been DRY HUMPING HER. This creeped me the fuck knowing that this creep had been associating around my sister and her friends, like wtf. This didn't sit well with me for the next few hours even when I tried to distract myself by playing legend of zelda I couldn't. It eventually led to me making this post do I could vent, honestly I'm proud of (S) for handling the situation responsibly with her friends but I don't know if she realizes how fucked up this, I'm worried about what will happen to her if she goes back to school on Monday and how this is going to affect her mentally in the future. I felt like I failed as a sister, I don't know if made it clear to her or not that I would always have her back even though we pick on eachother and insult eachother all the time; I just hope she knows that and I don't know how my dad is going to react to this either considering we haven't told him yet. For those of you who are going through similar situation to this, please for the love of all things good in this world don't keep it hidden and TELL SOMEONE, don't hide it.

[alikestory]

i keep seeing various iterations of that webcomic post going around and i HATE IT it's so depressing ;___;;;

this post got so long and rambly i'm putting it under a cut. talking points include: smackjeeves, my old comic Wander, and various tangents

there were so many good webcomics i read on smackjeeves and deviantart back when i was in high school, they had a whole different energy... like the creators were having fun with it and not worrying about how to Make It. (there wasn't like, an industry around it then so :v )

i wish i could have experienced making a webcomic back then and participating in that scene... but it just makes me sad to think about....

(if i did post anything polished-looking enough to get readers i don't think i would have really enjoyed it... the big story I was drawing then was Wander and if I'd been able to pull off what I was going for it would have been great but that was NOT HAPPENING (I did draw like, three chapters I never posted anywhere and outlined some more and that thing was a MESS u__u) tho I did post a comic to smackjeeves at one point it was really sketchy and I originally drew it for my friends so it was all just inside jokes....... I think a couple people did subscribe to it for some reason??? very nice of them. anyway like. even Blackout City that I started like seeeven?? years later there are lots of things I wish I thought through more or are kinda dumb but I still like reading it =w= )

BUT IF I'D POSTED WANDER ;__; BACK THEN. there would have been SOMEONE who read it and was like "this is awesome" and it wouldn't matter (to them) that it didn't turn out how I wanted......

you know that kind of thing where a creator is embarrassed by their old work because their new stuff has become polished and professional but that silly, crazy stuff they did when they were figuring it out has so much HEART..... it would have been cool to be that for someone.......

ALSO IF I'D DRAWN MORE OF WANDER I COULD READ IT. u__u well it would suck but IF I'D DONE A GOOD JOB. imagine a world. :v it's not something I'm interested in writing now (tangent: I started capitalizing the "I"s and nothing else like I'm typing on a cell phone that's autocorrecting them even though I AM NOT and I don't know why but now I need to keep doing it for Consistency) but I would like to read it if someone else wrote it ; 3;

it was about the people working at this hotel at a crossroads between worlds. for most of the story it was about them dealing with various visitors who would be the main focus of the chapters and then slowly you learn about the main characters. (ideally. I was not then and continue to not be any good at coming up with short stories.) and then at the end there's a serial killer who one of the main characters had a childhood romance with until he killed her sister..... you know, some standard melodrama. :'^)

also it was supposed to be seven volumes long..... because I had no concept of how long that would take...... and because tokyo babylon is seven volumes long AND THE COVERS WERE ALSO GOING TO BE COLOUR-CODED THE SAME WAY, OKAY???? IF THERE'S ONE THING YOU NEED TO KNOW IT'S THAT I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED TOKYO BABYLON AND I ALWAYS WILL. CLAMP NEEDS TO RELEASE AN ART BOOK WITH ALL THE PREMIUM EDITION COVERS BECAUSE I WILL NOT BUY SEVEN VOLUMES OF MANGA I ALREADY OWN BUT I REEEALLY WANT TO. I DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH SPACE ON MY BOOKSHELF. ALSO AN ART BOOK OF ALL THE CLEAR CARD ART BC IT'S REALLY PRETTY.

those are my demands. anyway, what was i talking about?

[blindecho6]

Historian who travels around the world and records the events that are happening. Also a writer.

Different coloring version under the cut (and lore as always) :d

I couldn't decide between this and the above colors, so I had a friend choose for me. I like this one too, so I wanted to share even tho it's not shaded :d

Now for lore:

Human that got the ability to live very long (in short. long version in different paragraph). She was always fascinated by the history of the world she decided the best way to archive it is to travel around the world and exirience it first hand. Wrote many books about history going into much details of the events she was a part of she's considered the authority when it comes to past events. Basically if you have history on any level in school you ar sure to have either a book writen or co-athored by her. She likes to collect different pisn, but keeps most of them in her bag (wears only a few at a time, since she doesn't want to loose them). Originally form the same neighbouring country as "hole in the neck/abusive father" girl (I really need to start giving my oc's proper names :|) from this post, but knows most of the languages used across the world and she visited most of the countries there too.

I'm losing the words as I'm typing it (probably due to the late hour being 2am), so it might be a bit wonky in explanation, but I'll do my best.

Her ability is basically "You will stop aging at X years old, but you are still a mortal so anything else can still kill you". This ability was "distributed" to every person who awakend their powers in a specific timeframe, which was just few minutes. Due to this "system error" a large amout of people got this specific ability, just with different X values. She was one of the lucky ones and her X value was 28, but there were people with this value anywhere in between 7 and ~500 years. She always respond's that that's her age, but knows very well they are asking about how long she lived. She keeps that information a secret, which isnt't much of a secret but if you can't be bothered to a bit of a research she can't be bothered to answear you.

She had to learn basic fighting skill (some people didn't liked how truthful her recollections were), but avoids conflict whenever possible. At some point most people stopped bothering with that and accepted that she will write and publish the truth thet she saw. At the begginign she had to derss like/pretend to be a man to publish her books (because "women know nothing abouth history") and kept doing it later for consistency (like, she kept publishing under male name, not dressing. She hated pretending to be a man). She became some kind of an icon for a part of a trans community because of this whole "pretending to be a man" stuff. She never was nor considers herself to be trans, but if that helps people she doesn't mind being idolized that way.

She's also a writer like I mentioned. She writes books of any genre (whatever is on her mind at any given point) and publishes them under her real name. She always carried 4 notebooks with her. One for actual history stuff, one for her books, one as a diary and the last just for regular notes. Whenever a notebook is filled she replaces it with a new one.

She publishes all her book through one and the same company over all the years and have a contract with them, where they will publish her diaries too, but only after her death, so they keep them stored somwhere safe for later).

The archivist deleth harpy (I don't think I have a lore post about her, but I def posted her design before. I should probably make a lore post about her too...) has one whole floor in her library dedicated to all the books published by her and whenever they meet, she complains about the ungodly amount of books she wrote and that soon she wouldn't have a place to keep them (she always will, since she can easly just make the floor bigger). The harpy actually really likes her books and is very happy that she has someone who does some part of collecting "history" for her.

She's not interested in any romantic relationships with anyone (still likes romantic gestures tho), but doesn't mind to fuck with other women >:)

PS. I didn't forget to color her bag. I didn't color it on purpose. I just couldn't be bothered xd

[3style3]

being creative on the internet as an outlet is a topic that i am passionate about & i have so much to say.. so i'll put it here.. keep reading if you want to, but its just a history of me and my connection to the internet as a whole, may crosspost this later lol ヾ(￣▽￣) \

ever since i was a little girl, i used the internet to express myself.. dress up games to tumblr, all of it, was used as an outlet. my earliest memory was playing dressup doll games on the computer & watching clips of lucky star in 240p quality while listening to vocaloid in my living room as a small small child, of course, my mom was cooking dinner during all of this, so i can smell dinner when i think of that memory.. germany, 8 pm, shes making banana pudding & tuna sandwiches for me and her while my dad is working.. its such a sweet thing to think of now that i come to think about it..♪(´▽｀) way before i discovered the bitterness of the world, the world to me was just schnuffel bunny & vocaloid..

i never had many friends growing up. i had maybe three actual friends IRL, i was severely bullied before going on to become homeschooled from third grade all the way up to highschool, which i went on to do online schooling for that aswell because quite frankly, i was terrified of leaving my house due to my increasing social anxiety along with quarantine happening about ~2 years into my school life. anyways, thats enough backstory, back to my main point.

anywho, i've been expressing myself online for a LONG time as you can tell, i first began uploading my animations and artwork to youtube in 2016..? and i went on to upload my music to soundcloud in 2018. i made a lot of online friends, and even had a partner who i met online which lasted around 4 years. which doesnt sound impressive until i tell you, we began dating in MIDDLE SCHOOL! we dated all the way until.. i was almost 16? lol..

the internet was my refuge and escape from various traumas that had happened to me over the course of the past few years, traumas i was too scared to go to therapy or even open up for, so i'd express my pain on anonymous accounts and abandon them later on. i have countless deviantart accounts that i used purely for vent art and nothing else, that i would later abandon once i realized people could probably tell it was me.

darkness aside, i have many good memories involving uploading my work online aswell, from my various soundcloud aliases to my various artist aliases, one of which would become extremely successful due to my original characters when i was 14, i later abandoned this alias for safety reasons that i won't get into here.. along with all of the fanfiction i read and wrote when i was 12.. so.. much.. fanfiction.. specifically bandom fanfiction, do you all remember bandom?? bandom was a nice time on the internet, we were all just having so much fun on those "___ is ____'s song" and "bandomconfessions" accounts.. no fear of judgement or anything, we could just write stories where we dated our favorite band member and others thought it was the coolest thing to ever grace this planet..

i feel like, without the internet i wouldnt be who i am today, okay, i will admit, i went through some edgy phases to try to fit in with the cishet white kids online since.. being me online was hard! i had to participate in edginess or else run the risk of being called heinous.. heinous things. i was a huge leafyishere fan (now that i think about it.. ew!) and frequented boards of 4chan that i'd never frequent now that i'm older and you know.. have a soul that isnt as dark as the void?

i feel like. . . . if i didnt have the internet at the age i did, i wouldnt had discovered stuff that was lifechanging to me, for example GTBSG was just purely by chance, 10 year old me poking around on soundcloud, youtube, tumblr and twitter, just looking for something, anything new to stimulate my little senses.. and i found it! that group literally and figuratively changed my life in the best sense possible. i feel like i found my calling through their music.

i think that.. no matter how bad and judgemental the internet gets, it'll always be important to me, like yeah, i hate how social media operates nowadays, and all the microtrends that results in so much waste and landfills getting bigger, but if you focus on yourself, delete tiktok, stop doomscrolling, the internet is fun, once you go back to putting in the effort to find new websites, to read peoples personal pages and shrines.. the internet feels a lot more alive again. the internet was taken over by corporations but theres people trying to take it back, even if its a vocal minority, we're still here, and those people who put in the effort mean more to me than they'll ever know.. o(*￣▽￣*)o

i love you internet, even if you suck sometimes.