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#it’s complicated but i swear it made sense
koyagifs · 2 days
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Facade of Perfection
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pairing: San x reader au: ex lovers to lovers genre: angst but happy ending summary: san asked to meet up wanting to get you back. warnings: mentions of cheating, swearing, pregnancy a/n: unedited
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
──・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.────
There you and San sat at the restaurant, swirling the cup of wine as you both sat there in silence. The soft clinking of glasses and the distant hum of conversation created a cozy backdrop. You glanced at San, who seemed lost in thought, his brow slightly furrowed. The warm light from the overhead lamps cast a gentle glow on his face, highlighting the tension in the moment.
“Penny for your thoughts?” you finally broke the silence, lifting your glass to take a sip.
San looked up, a hint of surprise in his eyes, and smiled faintly. "I'm just surprised you agreed to meet me"
You hummed, " well, you still haven't signed the papers and Hongjoong and I broke up. A mutual agreeing"
San raised an eyebrow, a mix of curiosity and hope flashing across his face. “Sorry to hear about Hongjoong”
You shrugged, " like i said, it was a mutual break up. Now, why did you ask to meet hm?"
San hesitated for a moment, his fingers tracing the rim of the glass. “I wanted to talk about… everything, I guess. I know things have been complicated between us.”
You leaned back, taking a sip of wine to give them a moment. A small chuckle leaving your lips. " oh yes, complicated"
" so complicated that you decided to cheat on me"
San winced at you words, the atmosphere shifted instantly, the warmth replaced by an uncomfortable tension. San’s expression fell, and he looked down at their glass, the humor draining from the moment.
“Look, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” San said quietly, their voice barely above a whisper. “It was a mistake—a moment of weakness.”
You felt a mix of frustration and hurt rising within you. “A mistake that changed everything. "
“Everything,” you echoed, your voice tight. “I thought we had something real, San. And then… this.”
San ran a hand through their hair, looking genuinely pained. “I know I messed up. I didn’t think about the consequences at the time. I was selfish.”
“Selfish?” You couldn’t hide the disbelief in your voice. “That’s an understatement. You didn’t just hurt me; you shattered my trust.”
San looked up, eyes filled with regret. “I understand. I wish I could take it back. But I want to be honest now. I want to fix this.”
You took a moment to collect your thoughts, the weight of their words hanging heavy between you. “It’s not just about wanting to fix things. Trust takes time to rebuild. Do you really think we can get back to where we were?”
San nodded, determination in their eyes. “I believe we can. But it has to start with me being completely open. No more hiding.”
You studied their expression, searching for sincerity. “If we’re going to try, I need to know you’re committed to this. No more mistakes.”
“I promise,” San said earnestly. “I want to be better for you—if you’ll give me the chance.”
The tension hung in the air, but beneath it, you sensed a flicker of possibility. The wine cup now empty was placed on the table. San reached out for your hands, taking them into his.
" yn... i can never forgive myself for breaking your trust. What i did - i did it out of spite, which i know i shouldn't have done."
You felt the warmth of San’s hands enveloping yours, grounding you in the moment. “Spite?” you repeated, the word heavy with meaning. “That’s a hard truth to swallow.”
San’s gaze dropped for a moment, the weight of regret evident on their face. “I know. I was angry and confused, and instead of talking to you, I made a terrible choice. I thought it would make me feel better, but it only made things worse.”
You took a deep breath, processing his words. “ do you know how hard it was to pose with you? To act like everything was okay between us? San we basically faked our relationship - hell, no one still knows we're started our divorce process!"
San grip tighten on your hands, " i know - i was so focus on not disappointing our families that i neglected you in the process."
You sighed, laying back into your seat as you looked at San. " i'll talk to my lawyer about dropping the divorce. "
San’s eyes widened, a mixture of surprise and relief washing over his face. You held your hand up, " i'm expecting you to be by the house sunday San. We'll go on a date, publicly."
San nodded his head, "i'm expecting you to also break up with your mistress"
" she's been gone, the day you left with Hongjoong was when i broke it off with her"
You nodded, standing up. San placed a few bills before he stood up at well, holding his hand out for you to grab.
" I'll see you Sunday"
──・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.────
" i think this color would suit the nursey better, don't you think honey?"
San turned to you, a smile placed on his lip as he nodded his head. He walked towards you, placing a hand on your swollen belly that now carries his future daughter.
You felt a warmth spread through you as San's hand rested gently on your belly. “I think you’re right,” he said, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “Soft pastels will make the nursery feel so calm and welcoming.”
You glanced at the swatches spread out on the table, each color reminding you of the little one you were about to welcome. “I just want her to feel safe and loved in her space.”
San nodded, his smile widening. “She will, especially with you as her mom. You have such a beautiful vision for her room.”
You felt a flutter of joy at his words. “And you’ll be a wonderful dad, too. I can already see you reading her bedtime stories.”
“Definitely,” he said, a playful glint in his eyes. He squatted, his face now at your belly. He placed fluttering kisses, the smile on your face evident of pure happiness. You placed a hand on his hair, brushing away a few strain as he muttered loving words to your belly.
“Let’s make it perfect for her,” you said, your heart swelling with love.
“Together,” San replied, leaning in to press a soft kiss on your forehead. “We’re building our family, and I can’t wait to start this new chapter with you.”
In that moment, everything felt right.
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Hey hey! I just finished a ridiculously complicated and long UQuiz about fandoms! Please take it! :D
I put my heart and soul into this PLEASE play it!! I like sharing stuff I like, it's fun I promise. <3
Edit: This is kinda aimed a little at whump enjoyers btw, not entirely but a decent bit. Warning for swearing, possible spoilers for any/all included fandoms, vaguely mentioned drug use in one answer to one question, and violence. (Fictional.)
Included fandoms: Shark Wars, Warrior Cats, Pokemon Adventures, Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Adventure, Hetalia, Percy Jackson, Gameknight999, Scratchcraft, the Pokemon Anime (with Ash as the protagonist), How to Train Your Dragon (books), How to Train Your Dragon (movies and shows), Spiderwicks Chronicles, and The Monkees.
Look under the cut for the "awnsers" to each question (after taking the quiz) if you want some context. XD This took me forever! (Warning, doing this will make this post very long.)
1. When your story gets serious, what do you want from it? 1. Pokemon DPA: A deeper meaning that gets the author in WAY over their head. 2. Warrior Cats: A deeper meaning that could be taken the exact wrong way if you so chose to. 3. Gameknight999: A deeper meaning that was probably not intentional. 4. Shark Wars: A deeper meaning that is mentioned explicitly once or twice and then never added to again. 5. Pokespe: A deeper meaning that needs a little thinking to make any god damn sense at all. 6. Pokeani: A deeper meaning that only seems to show up in half-canon material. 7. Spiderwicks: A deeper meaning that doesn't seem to have any actual bearings in reality. 8. HTTYD Books: A deeper meaning that CATCHES YOU OFF GAURD. LIKE, FUCK DUDE- 9. Scratchcraft: A deeper meaning that is pretty obvious if you ignore the fact that it doesn't actually exist. 10. Hetalia: A deeper meaning that is questionable at best. 11. Percy Jackson: A deeper meaning that hits really hard when you start growing up. 12. HTTYD movies: A deeper meaning that was better done somewhere else but I still cried. 13. The Monkees: A deeper meaning that just barely made it past the censors, and it as true to the real world as it could ever aim to be.
2. What do you want out of a protagonist? 1. Pokemon DPA: Overpowered. Also bites people on the ass. 2. Warrior Cats: I like to switch things up as the media progresses. :3 3. Gameknight999: Really traumatized but you wouldn't guess that at all from the concept of the story. 4. Shark Wars: Edgy but in a cringe way. 5. Pokespe: I like to switch things up as the media progresses. >:) 6. Pokeani: I can't tell if he's aroace or gay God Bless America. 7. Spiderwicks: I don't care. As long as they're in SOME SORT of a family- 8. HTTYD Books: Cursed by the repetition of history. 9. Scratchcraft: I want to pick my protagonist thank you very much. 10. Hetalia: Immortal, but silly. 11. Percy Jackson: Badass who everyone is scared of, but, like, they're so nice. :") 12. HTTYD movies: The more the merrier! 13. The Monkees: Someone funny, and maybe a little bit high.
3. What kind of antagonist really gets you going? 1. Pokemon DPA: Manipulators. 2. Warrior Cats: Just a little guy. :3 they kill people Just a little guy- 3. Gameknight999: At least a little edgy, preferably have motivations that don't make any sense. 4. Shark Wars: Kinda horny for no reason. lowkey 5. Pokespe: Utterly insane most of the time. 6. Pokeani: Idiots and/or common criminals. 7. Spiderwicks: Big scary beasts are good! Smart ones too! 8. HTTYD Books: Tumblr sexyman in a not-not-very-hot way. 9. Scratchcraft: Lowkey I could probably beat them up. 10. Hetalia: It's kinda weird to think of anyone as an antagonist. :( 11. Percy Jackson: Yeah. This guy would kill me and laugh about it. 12. HTTYD movies: Animal poachers are my favorite! 13. The Monkees: Is an antagonist really necessary? (Or is it the producer… hmm)
4. Pick a creature please! 1. Pokemon DPA: EXTREMLY overpowered magic penguin. 2. Warrior Cats: Cat who is cat-racist 3. Gameknight999: Minecraft wolf! 4. Shark Wars: Shark who is shark-racist 5. Pokespe: Traumatized rodent. 6. Pokeani: A weirdly athletic rodent 7. Spiderwicks: Fairies! 8. HTTYD Books: Dragon! (Sentient edition) 9. Scratchcraft: Cod God 10. Hetalia: A sentient piece of food. 11. Percy Jackson: Black Pegasus. 12. HTTYD movies: Dragon! (Pet cat editon) 13. The Monkees: Hmm... Monkee...
5. Pick an epic quote from one of the pieces of media in question. 1. Pokemon DPA: "I'm fine with being stupid!" 2. Warrior Cats: "Kill me. Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars that you won." 3. Gameknight999: “You can only do what you believe you can do. I can do this,” 4. Shark Wars: “Let’s get you back where you belong before you catch your death.” 5. Pokespe: “If you can only achieve a dream by being deceitful, using others, and crushing their own hopes, that’s not called a dream, it’s called an ambition.” 6. Pokeani: "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." 7. Spiderwicks: "We call them 'fairy tales' for a reason, you know. They're not real." 8. HTTYD Books: “We're all snatching precious moments from the peaceful jaws of time.” 9. Scratchcraft: "Goodbye everybody! I'm going to the sky!" (Storm, S2E30) 10. Hetalia: “It seems as if Americans like to be the center of attention even after they're dead.” 11. Percy Jackson: "If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself," 12. HTTYD movies: "I wouldn't kill him, because he looked as frightened as I was. I looked at him… and I saw myself," 13. The Monkees: "If, uh, people say well, I can’t carry a note, I can’t, I can’t say, I can’t sing, I, I’m tone deaf. But nobody’s tone deaf, and if you love music, then you can play music."
6. How much violence are you feeling like looking at? 1. Pokemon DPA: The real fear happens when the comic relief finally stops. 2. Warrior Cats: Somehow the worst part is that hardly anyone seems to notice something is wrong. 3. Gameknight999: It's a game, but only to half of the participants in the conflict. 4. Shark Wars: Oh, that's torture and mass killings graphically detailed in a children's book, okay. 5. Pokespe: The blood was censored, but somehow you know it's there. 6. Pokeani: It's all fun and games until somebody randomly drops dead. 7. Spiderwicks: Everything is totally fine mom! My sister DIDN'T just get kidnapped by the fae! I promise! 8. HTTYD Books: Ultimately, it's never the violence that truly hurts, but the fact that you know it will happen again and again, and all you can do is try and make things marginally better while you are still here, crawling through the mud. 9. Scratchcraft: You get to choose how real any of this is. 10. Hetalia: A comedy with an underlying truth of extreme violence and war and the realization that none of these people can be friends forever. 11. Percy Jackson: Somehow we always seem to push through. ̶u̶n̶t̶i̶l̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ 12. HTTYD movies: We will always keep fighting! (But there comes a time that sometimes fighting the good fight is not actually the good fight anymore.) 13. The Monkees: It entirely depends if we're talking about slapstick comedy or the real deal here. (If you look too deep you'll find both.)
7. How do you like your fandoms. 1. Pokemon DPA: I'm fine with a small fandom. I'm not bothered by the bones of a (slightly) bigger one. 2. Warrior Cats: This fandom feels like being surrounded by a pack of wolves! thumbs down 3. Gameknight999: I have never been in a worse fandom. Seriously. Imagine being in a fandom of twelve yearolds on WATTAPAD that then transitions to DISCORD. This is what Hell feels like. (And I'm Catholic.) /pos I luv you guys but STILL 4. Shark Wars: Literally no other person in the whole world is perfect for me. :3 (PLEASE JOIN ME. PLEASE. HELP!) 5. Pokespe: This fandom feels like being surrounded by a pack of wolves! thumbs up 6. Pokeani: Most god awful takes you've ever seen because half the people here don't even like the content and the other half are eight years old. 7. Spiderwicks: What fandom? 8. HTTYD Books: When the fandom is just the size that you can't argue with each other over media or you'll fall apart. ok symbol 9. Scratchcraft: Tight knit fandoms on almost exclusively Discord and a children's coding website are good enough for me! 10. Hetalia: Honestly, I love the discourse. I'M SORRY I KNOW, I JUST- gets jumped 11. Percy Jackson: The memes are so unfunny it feels like it's stuck in the 2000s. 12. HTTYD movies: I don't even care if half the fandom is crossovers with unrelated fandoms, I want to have fun! 13. The Monkees: Pretty big and dedicated, once you get there. (Might have to sort through the graves of 2014 first though.)
8. If you were my mutual in this fandoms (HYPOTHETICALLY) what sort of content of fandom stuff do you like from a mutual. 1. Pokemon DPA: This whump fic is NOT weird, I promise! (>:3) 2. Warrior Cats: Whump fics every october. thumbs up 3. Gameknight999: 1 (one) 66,000+ word crossover fic and basically nothing else. 4. Shark Wars: Stupid meme edits. 5. Pokespe: Memes? ? Gore? ? Animating the same scene eight times? Yep 6. Pokeani: Uh… I did a ship week once? 7. Spiderwicks: Fancontent? glups 8. HTTYD movies: 80 billion reblogs once in a blue moon 9. Scratchcraft: Fanart that has absolutely no relation to canon. 10. Hetalia: The occasional shitty animation. 11. Percy Jackson: Old art posting. 12. HTTYD books: Gore art of everyone's favorite buff teenager <3 13. The Monkees: Literally over 1000 reblogs in two weeks, and then shutting up for a month.
9. (Sorry if that last question almost made you click away lol.) Now, pick a SILLY quote completely out of context! :D (And further apologizes if none of them are funny out of context. lmao) 1. Pokemon DPA: "Nah…he probably started a rock band! He's got the hairdo for it!" 2. Warrior Cats: "Okay, I'll bring back your stupid stick. Keep your fur on." 3. Gameknight999: "Theres another sign, it says…COM?" 4. Shark Wars: "It was not a good whammo. Not good at all." 5. Pokespe: "I wish [corporation name] would have a lot of customers. Preferably a hundred thousand people on the first day," 6. Pokeani: "I'll use my trusty frying pan as a drying pan!" 7. Spiderwicks: "It just figured that Mom would get back from the store NOW." 8. HTTYD Books: "…she had once stunned a stag with one blow of her mighty bosoms, and many a smaller animal had suffocated in their stern depths." 9. Scratchcraft: "SLAM DUNK!" misses horrifically (Storm, S2E30) 10. Hetalia: "YOU PEED ON THE FLOOR??!?!" 11. Percy Jackson: "Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!”" 12. HTTYD movies: "I knew it. I'm dead!" 13. The Monkees: "Nobody even lends money to a man with a sense of humor!"
10. Pick a piece of an "outfit" 1. Pokemon DPA: A hairclip made with the symbol of a cult which brainwashed you 2. Warrior Cats: A cat collar. It's broken. 3. Gameknight999: Diamond leggings 4. Shark Wars: Tattoos put in place with sea urchin spines 5. Pokespe: Electricity proof (yet fingerless) gloves 6. Pokeani: An extremely rare baseball cap obtained by mailing in cereal box tops obsessively 7. Spiderwicks: A dress made by dwarves 8. HTTYD Books: A torn fire-proof suit (you must wear it to battle) 9. Scratchcraft: Red shirt with a watermelon (with a face) on the back. :) 10. Hetalia: Combat boots with questionable origins 11. Percy Jackson: A silver skull ring 12. HTTYD movies: A wing suit with a partially broken spring 13. The Monkees: Green wool hat.
11. Choose a location a protagonist (or perspective character) finds themselves 1. Pokemon DPA: A building rigged to explode, the only exits have malfunctioned 2. Warrior Cats: A dark forest. Bones crunch underfoot. 3. Gameknight999: A room full of gunpowder, lava sparks awfully close by 4. Shark Wars: Enemy territory, bodies float down around you 5. Pokespe: The rift of time, memories that you do not know fly by 6. Pokeani: A sunken ship on the bottom of the ocean, it is quickly filling with water 7. Spiderwicks: A dumbwaiter, it stops in a entirely closed off room 8. HTTYD Books: The mast of a sinking ship, lightning burns through the air 9. Scratchcraft: A mermaid gladiator arena, who needs to be serious? :3 10. Hetalia: An empty box of tomatoes, gunshots ring outside 11. Percy Jackson: A place so evil that you are too mortal to process it's true horror 12. HTTYD movies: The beach, making your final stand against someone you used to love 13. The Monkees: A large black box.
12. Choose an experience a protagonist has endured. 1. Pokemon DPA: You feel yourself begin to cry. No matter how evil this person is, you cannot help but forgive them. When will they understand? 2. Warrior Cats: You stand alone, suddenly in complete darkness. Overwhelmed by shame, you realize it is better for them all to think you are dead. 3. Gameknight999: You stand on a thin path under the world, your greatest enemy with a pickaxe in his hands. 4. Shark Wars: You find yourself in the deepest trench in the ocean as you are pulled down by a weight you cannot remove. 5. Pokespe: Ice freezes around you, crackling slowly up your arms as you scream for help. No one comes. 6. Pokeani: You feel your soul slowly begin to dissipate as your body turns to stone. 7. Spiderwicks: Your body shakes, skin burning as poison touches it. You lift your foot, revealing what is left of something you should have loved. 8. HTTYD Books: You have been kidnaped, and finally, your letter to your mother has been returned. You reach your skinny arms through the bars of your prison window to unravel the paper. You can't help but wonder what wonderfully army she might have sent to rescue you. What do you find? A resounding "No," you must save yourself after all. 9. Scratchcraft: Lightning rains down around you, but you smile. It's finally time to join the other gods in the sky. The people you once loved are nothing but shadows to you now. 10. Hetalia: You lock yourself in your room. Days, weeks, months, and years pass you by, but even three centuries of knowing your fate cannot prevent it from occurring. 11. Percy Jackson: As a person able to breath underwater, you are yanked into unfamiliar waves, for the first time ever, you know what it is like to drown. 12. HTTYD movies: The beautiful creature before you lays it's head on the earth, giving up. Your hands shake and the dagger falls to the ground. 13. The Monkees: You stagger through the desert, but when you have finally found a vending machine, standing there atop a drifting hill of sand, it doesn't give you what you wanted.
13. Pick another quote that made me feel emotions. (Side note, the HTTYD books series especially has a lot of great quotes. Just some unfair propaganda from me. :3 Can't be TOO serious can we?) 1. Pokemon DPA: "You're no big bad war machine? Y'know how I know that? … You're crying." 2. Warrior Cats: “My curse is to live forever, knowing what has been and what has yet to be, powerless to change anything.” 3. Gameknight999: “Sometimes we have to reach a little farther than we can, be a little stronger than we are, and do things that we normally wouldn’t be able to, because we must, to take care of those we love,” 4. Shark Wars: "You're a murderer!" "A realist," 5. Pokespe: "No matter how much I reach out to the brightness of the outside world… the darkness keeps dragging me back. No matter how hard I try, I never get to enjoy my freedom," 6. Pokeani: "We do have a lot in common. The same earth, the same air, the same sky. Maybe if we started looking at what's the same instead of always looking at what's different… well, who knows?" 7. Spiderwicks: "Don't you know me? Am I not your own self?" 8. HTTYD Books: "You, dear reader, I am sure cannot imagine what it might to be like to live in a world in which books are banned. For surely such things will never happen in the Future?" 9. Scratchcraft: "I'm am not smart and I should not have done that. Ha hA- Hope I didn't loose everything I own." (Saltyy) 10. Hetalia: "When I look into all of your stupid faces, I think how fun it will be to pound them into dust." 11. Percy Jackson: “Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.” 12. HTTYD movies: "A man will never how far he's willing to go until he steps to the edge and looks down" 13. The Monkees: "Um. Kidnapping man."
14. Window shopping! Pick a "iconic" cover/thumbnail with the name of the series cropped out! 1. Pokemon DPA: [A picture of the cover of the seventh book. It shows Hareta, Koya, Heataran, and Shaymin. It is mostly red.) 2. Warrior Cats: [A picture of the cover of Into The Wild. It shows an orange cat with green eyes among blades of sharp green grass.] 3. Gameknight999: [A cover of a book showing Gameknight brandishing a sword at a red Enderman. It looks weirdly off model for a minecraft book cover.] 4. Shark Wars: [A picture of the cover of the first book showing a very blue shark (Gray) with a smaller a green one (Barkley) next to him. There are others in the background. It is mostly blue.] 5. Pokespe: [A picture of the cover of book three in the Red and Blue arch. It shows Red and his pikachu Pika, as well as a few of his other Pokemon along the side. The background is green.] 6. Pokeani: [Part of a Poster showing Ash, Misty, Brock, and a whole lot of Pokemon. The background is white.] 7. Spiderwicks: [A picture of the first cover. It shows the three main characters looking down at a book with very different expressions. The drawing is brown tinted, but the area around it is blue.] 8. HTTYD Books: [A picture of one of the covers of How To Betray a Dragon's Hero, it shows Hiccup being carried above a lake by a red dragon.] 9. Scratchcraft: [The cover of StormLordZeus' final episode of season two. He is an armored minecraft man with glowing purple eyes floating in a lightning storm.] 10. Hetalia: [The cover of the first book in the series. It shows Italy, Germany, and japan on a white background.] 11. Percy Jackson: [The first cover of the first book. it shows a boy trudging towards New York City through the ocean, a golden sword in his hand. It is stormy.] 12. HTTYD movies: [A poster for the first movie. It shows a large black dragon (Toothless) reaching his nose out to touch Hiccup's outstretched hands. There is a wide moon in the background.] 13. The Monkees: [A screenshot from the Daydream Believer music video. Peter is playing piano, Davy is behind him, singing, Mike is playing guitar above them, and Micky is on the other side, also singing and playing tambourine. The room is rainbow striped.]
15. This quiz is all over the place, isn't it. Whatever. Time to pick the sort of media you would like to enjoy your chosen franchise/series in. 1. Pokemon DPA: A short(-ish) and sweet manga series. 2. Warrior Cats: It is critical that these books must have as many mistakes as possible. Also, there must be a LOT of them. 3. Gameknight999: Books where you eventually start wondering if the author proofread this stuff at all /pos 4. Shark Wars: Vaguely obscure children's books 5. Pokespe: A really fricking long manga series 6. Pokeani: This anime is WAY too long. 7. Spiderwicks: A short series of thin, but aesthetically pleasing books 8. HTTYD Books: Some surprisingly chunky books with a cool font! 9. Scratchcraft: Youtube videos where most of the series is deleted :( 10. Hetalia: Anything I can get my hands on. A webcomic, an anime, music, more than one musical for some reason, etc… 11. Percy Jackson: A book series that has several levels of optional other series to read with it :D 12. HTTYD movies: Movies and a whole lot of optional episodes if you want them 13. The Monkees: A two season TV sitcom from the 60s, a movie, several books from the people involved, and several albums of varying quality.
16. Pick a silly story I've had happen in relation to these stupid things. 1. Pokemon DPA: I thought it was a different series. Like, I picked it up and thought I was reading a different book series than I was. 2. Warrior Cats: I stayed up ALL NIGHT at Girl Scout Camp reading one of the books a few into a section of the series that I have never read before or since. 3. Gameknight999: I associate the smell of magazines with this fandom now, unfortunately. 4. Shark Wars: For some reason I could not find book two. Like. For four years. Why. I found everything else almost at once. What about book two makes it impossible to find. 5. Pokespe: I made it my mission to read through the entire series in a month every summer through middle AND high school. 6. Pokeani: My mother constantly apologizes for letting me watch this show. It's great. 7. Spiderwicks: On a four hour car trip, the only thing I brought to do was read this book. I get car sick when I read in a car. 8. HTTYD Books: When I was in like second grade I accidentally left one of the books out in the pouring rain at an aunt's house. It survived, shockingly. 9. Scratchcraft: I'm a thumbnail artist??? Idk how that happened woah 10. Hetalia: My friend and I were out watching this show in the middle of winter. She got minor frostbite. I wasn't even cold. skull 11. Percy Jackson: I read the first book instead of having Thanksgiving dinner with my family. It wasn't on purpose. Nobody could find me and I was too busy reading to notice how much time was passing until everyone was already gone and there wasn't food left. 12. HTTYD movies: This and Das Boot Directors Cut are my favorite things to watch on the TV. Yeah. 13. The Monkees: I was very upset in college and I prayed for any sort of distraction to make me feel better. A day later, I got so hyperfixated on this fandom that I could not think about anything BUT the fandom and began alternating between squeaking in joy and sobbing for about three days straight.
17. Thank God that's over! Woah, speaking of Him, pick an afterlife! (If there is no such thing in the series in question, I picked the next closest thing that appears in the media.) 1. Pokemon DPA: Chunks of earth float in the twisted sky. Somewhere you cannot see, a shadowy creature roars. 2. Warrior Cats: A life just like yours, but none of you can grow anymore. 3. Gameknight999: It doesn't apply. My code will be gone before I get there. 4. Shark Wars: A sparkling ocean, uncannily blue and full of voices, but calm. 5. Pokespe: Time is paused here. Music floats through your ears. 6. Pokeani: Not sure. Every time I die, I seem to come back. I guess it'll be a surprise? 7. Spiderwicks: Suspended in time on the back of a magical creature. If I reach down to touch the ground, I will finally disappear. 8. HTTYD Books: My death doesn't matter. What matters is what I do in my life. 9. Scratchcraft: A comedically timed Minecraft "YOU DIED" screen. 10. Hetalia: Well, I'm not ever going to die, first of all. 11. Percy Jackson: You have to be a hero to even remember living once you get there. 12. HTTYD movies: Presumably Valhalla? 13. The Monkees: Can't. The writers won't let it end. (They crushed it anyway.)
18. What "bad end" would you like to be a very easy possibility in something you read? 1. Pokemon DPA: The world has been restarted, made into something devoid of love and emotions. But you'll never live to see it, in fact, it's as if you've never lived at all. 2. Warrior Cats: A horrible drought robs a society of water, slowly, they all wither away. 3. Gameknight999: The virus bleeds out of the game, infecting the real world turning it into a nightmare. 4. Shark Wars: A horrible emperor takes over the entire world, cannibalizing or enslaving anyone who stands in his way. 5. Pokespe: The protagonist stays frozen, and unfortunately, the second follows in his footsteps. There is no one to stop change now. 6. Pokeani: A creature beyond all of humanity has decided that people do not deserve to live free. 7. Spiderwicks: The fae continue killing, families are lost to their power, the town twists, crackling into the trash heap at its center. 8. HTTYD Books: As they say, "If it doesn't end well, then it isn't the end!" 9. Scratchcraft: [I've got nothing. Honestly. I don't know how I've managed anything serious so far. Feel free to pick this if you don't like the other options lol.] 10. Hetalia: Well. Honestly. The whole thing kind of feels like a bad end? 11. Percy Jackson: The Old Ones take over again. There is nothing but suffering for humanity now. 12. HTTYD movies: Everything will continue just as it was. 13. The Monkees: Well. The band broke up.
19. Okay, if there are any fandoms you DO NOT WANT to be recommended, speak you peace now. (This will give you one point for every other fandom. Picking "no," will give you one point for everything, to even them out.) 1-13: [self explanatory]
20. One more question! Time to pick your own. >^w^< 1. Pokemon DPA: If you had the choice to, would you forgive the man who hurt you so badly? 2. Warrior Cats: If you had to break the rules to find your true place, would you do it? 3. Gameknight999: If a day for you was 72 days for your friends, how often would you visit? 4. Shark Wars: If you were a fish, would you eat another fish if they asked you to very nicely? 5. Pokespe: If you had to conceal your true self if it meant love from others, would you do it? 6. Pokeani: Would you pick ̶c̶h̶a̶r̶m̶a̶n̶d̶e̶r̶,̶ ̶s̶q̶u̶i̶r̶t̶l̶e̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶l̶b̶a̶s̶a̶u̶r̶, or pikachu? 7. Spiderwicks: If you were to find out faries were real, would you put your life on the line in order to see them? 8. HTTYD Books: Do you believe that it can ever get better? 9. Scratchcraft: If you were a god, would you play a quick board game before ascending? 10. Hetalia: If you were to live forever, would you take it seriously? 11. Percy Jackson: If you had the choice to life forever or be a target for the rest of your life, would you take the offer? 12. HTTYD movies: Will you keep fighting? 13. The Monkees: "Hey! Who turned on the dark?"
Fandom descriptions:
Shark Wars: Hm. Did you get kicked out of YOUR Shiver too?? Shark Wars is a book series by EJ Altbacker which goes through increasingly violent and terrible events in the lives of the main characters, all while aiming at a relatively young audience. It's one of those series that takes like thirty minutes to want to start reading the book (even as it's in your hands), but once you do, you literally can't put it down. Truly a masterpiece, if I, the only Shark Wars fan on the planet, can convince you. I highly recommend this series! It's a lot of fun! (Don't worry about the Shark Magic, it's martial arts if they say it is.)
Warrior cats: May all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather before highrock for a clan meeting! Warrior Cats is a book series written by a group of authors who, together, go by Erin Hunter. It follows the lives of a whole lot of cats, and it does so in a way that is shockingly gripping (and, let's face it, a little ridiculous), frankly, you couldn't really ask for a better middle school friend group roleplay. About a million characters, and about a million ways to interpret them… purrfect. (sorry) (The moon pool sure is cold at this time of night.)
Pokespe: The power of the Viridian Forest has bestowed upon you the ability to read something real good. The Pokemon Adventures (or Pokemon Special) manga is a very long running manga series written by Hidenori Kusaka. It currently goes from the Red and Blue games ALLL the way to Scarlet and Violet, and it does a great job too! It's characters are original and three dimensional (despite being based on game counterparts), and it's plots can be completely unexpected, even for someone who played the original games. I highly encourage getting into these series, or at least reading up to the third book. It's a lot of fun. Yes. We KNOW about the Arbok already, stop mentioning it!! Why do you think we're here!??!?
Pokemon DPA: …do you want to meet a god- Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Adventure is an eight book series by manga author and artist Shigekatsu Ihara. It centers around the travels of Hareta as he makes his way through the Sinnoh region. Very fast paced and with slightly odd humor, you may wonder why I like it so much, and to that I have to tell you that it is, in fact, my FAVORITE Pokemon media. I know. A little ridiculous. But who can blame me? The art, character designs, and story are all really good, and the action is nothing to scoff at. If you like something silly, just a wee bit violent, and a lot of fun, give this series a try! I could really use a friend in this fandom. XD We don't mind being a little stupid here. :3
Hetalia: Oh boy, here we are. Hetalia is a controversial manga, anime, and musical franchise started by Hidekaz Himaruya. It is a satirical telling of various points in history through humanized versions of the counties. It is absolutely not everyone's cup of tea, but it helped me to better understand (and find interest in) history, and if you like satire and historical situations, this may be the place for you. Uh… Make pasta not war?
Percy Jackson: Well. I didn't ASK to be a half blood. (And I guess neither did you.) Percy Jackson (which hardly needs an introduction) was originally a book series by Rick Riordan, and has since expanded into a (not very well liked) movie series, and a show, as well as many other connected series. Despite this, the original book series is by far my favorite, and if you are looking for something that is very funny, and very violent, it is the way to go. Have fun demigod! (PS: I think I saw the upstairs window glow, did you see that?)
Gameknight999: Ah. I see, you got hit with the digitalizer too! The Gameknight999 series is an unofficial "isekai" Minecraft novel series by Mark Cheverton. It can be considered childish, and most often found in book fairs at elementary schools, but it can have a much darker tone if you want to look into it. The fandom itself for this book series came at a difficult time in my life, and though I am unable to determine whether the fandom was an overall net positive or negative for me, the books were definitely a positive. They inspired creativity and community, while also being objectively hilarious in concept. Come, let's hold hands and frolic through our computer screens together. :)
Scratchcraft: Welcome new Scratcher! Click the "create" button to make a new project. :3 Scratchcraft is a Minecraft SMP that is currently in it's fourth season. What is interesting about this SMP, however, is that it was started on the website Scratch.mit.edu, and, also, that it is not very active. While the content itself in this fandom is few and far between, the community is incredible once you get your footing in it. The member who currently uploads the most goes by "StormLordZeus" on Youtube and went by "haunted_enderman" on Scratch. (His Minecraft skin is pictured in the result image above.) And NO, you can't ask to join Scratchcraft.
Pokeani: Sorry you woke up late, we've just got a Pikachu left! Oh well, no matter. The Pokemon Anime (starring Ash Ketchum as the lead character) was an anime that lasted for 25 years across 26 seasons and several movies. It is not my favorite Pokemon Media, but it is still one of my favorite fandoms of all time due to it's cast, great range of amazing to hilariously bad animation (only sparingly), and episodic nature. If you are looking for something fun that you can pretty much jump into whenever, the Pokemon Anime may be the right fit for you! Enjoy your journey, you hopeful Pokemon Master!
How To Train Your Dragon (movies and shows): Welcome to dragon training! The How To Train Your Dragon movies and shows were based on a wonderful series of the same name, but quickly fell completely off the mark. You may think, because I personally prefer the books, that this means that the movies are bad in some way. Absolutely not! Without spoilers, the first How To Train Your Dragon movie is my favorite movie of all time, and the second it's really all that far behind it. If you want something with incredible music, a great story, and a really nice message (not even to mention the characters and animation) try out at LEAST the first movie, and start branching out from there if it hooks you in like it did me. And, yeah, if you see that Night Fury, I heard pretty much everyone is looking for it.
Spiderwicks Chronicals: Must've taken the dumbwaiter up here huh? The Spiderwicks Chronicles is a short book series made by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi. I must admit that I do not often post about this series, but despite that, it is one of my favorite fantasy series I have ever read. It's short, sweet, and very depressing when it wants to be. If that kind of thing sounds up your alley, who knows! Maybe someone just like you could encourage me and others to show more interest as well. (Don't forget to get some fairy bathwater in your eyes on the way out. Sorry if that's gross, it's kinda important.)
How To Train Your Dragon (books): Well, suffering swordfish, you've found your way here. The How To Train Your Dragon books series is a twelve book series by Cressida Cowell that follows Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third and his friends as they go on wacky misadventures through the Barbaric Archipelago. At least, it is until the true extent of everything becomes clearer and clearer. If you want something that becomes surprisingly serious (while still remaining rather funny), and is incredible and exciting all the way through, try on these books for size. Isn't fate artistic?
The Monkees: Hey hey! We're the Monkees fandom! Some people say we Monkee around! The Monkees was a 1966 show about four people who wanted to be a band, but it was also a band made up of four people who wanted to be in a band. Depending on what you want, this fandom can provide you from anything from sitcom antics, to Real Person Fiction, to a really weird movie. -and of course, save the Texas Prairie Chicken.
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eat-rock · 2 years
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still riding the high of being the fastest kid in the 3rd grade
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martianbugsbunny · 1 year
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ah stab me it's Hugh Jackman gives me gender envy hours again
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codgod-moved · 2 years
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wooo art summary thing that’s fun !
gotta love the hard swerve into yugioh at the end. i really just haven’t drawn much noteworthy non-ship mcyt art for the past couple months rip </3
also turns out i use dark colours, especially in backgrounds, a lot more than i thought i did so that’s something
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I don’t even ship sterek but what the fuck does “your dad had complicated feelings about that Jeep” mean???
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Y’all ever come up with a cool concept that’s relatively simple but you keep adding to it because “wouldn’t it be cool if it looked like this from one weird ass angle?” And I never even start it because it will take too long 😔
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(seven) days a week, m | jjk
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
summary: It only takes seven days (a week) for Jeon Jungkook to get you in his bed to fuck you right. And showing up in weird places. And kissing in the rain. He's crazy. Okay, it's kinda complicated.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language (reader swears a lot); strangers-to-lovers; vague allusions to a loveless childhood and bad parenting (no specifics); JK might be insane and you do tell him that he is; slight crack; fluff; smut (fem reader, fucking with clothes on and off, m and f-receiving oral, light hair pulling, fingering, nipple play, choking, penetrative sex, handjob); non-idol!BTS – persistent!Jungkook x noona, def tsundere!reader lol ft instigator-cupid!Park Jimin setting them up
this directly follows Jung Kook's 'Seven' MV, so make sure to watch it (although I'm sure you've seen it if you wanna read this lmao)
--
monday.
“What? Something on my face?”
You stared at him and he stared back. Wide eyes, slightly parted lips, the look of caught prey and all. You had your hands in front of you, long fingers laced together, elbows on the table. You probably shouldn’t have scowled like that. That was a bit rude, especially to someone you didn’t know well, but this guy had been staring at you all night and barely speaking to you, even when prompted, so you were getting both impatient and annoyed at accepting this invitation.
“You wear… a lot of jewelry,” Jeon Jungkook said out loud, with awe.
You looked down at your hands. Well. The rings, the bracelets, even the earrings on both your ears, all sterling silver or white gold. You had even swapped out the lower lobe piercing for a pair of dangling dice earrings with grey freshwater pearls. You liked the cooler tone to bring some death to your warm-toned skin.
“Yeah. Is that a problem?” Your low voice had an edge of guarded to it.
A quick, nervous head shake. “No. No, it’s cool. I’ve never seen a girl wear so many chunky rings like that. I didn’t think I’d like it either, but then I saw you.”
You opened your mouth to snap out a comeback and then his words hit you.
There was no doubt that Jeon Jungkook was cute. Black-brown hair with a lustrous quality. Bright, expressive dark brown eyes. Slightly rounded cheeks with a distinct jawline. He said he had, and you could see, tattoos and piercings, something you quite liked but not a requirement. Built body, in the way that people where when they were committed to taking care of their physical appearance. Not so much in vanity, but in the way that matched how they felt that they should look in their head. Respect for that. But, in this chance that was what you had expected to be his, Jungkook didn’t taken it.
He looked the part.
Didn’t act it, though.
Black blazer, matching trousers. White t-shirt. Dressy but not too much. To be honest, the outer appearance didn’t matter much to you. It actually mattered the least. You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Really. You were often told that you had too little patience for people, but, come on!
This conversation was awkward.
Hah.
You turned as you sensed a lively presence re-entering your icy atmosphere. Hmph. The actor playing Cupid in the instance. He looked the part too. Baby blue dress shirt with the top buttons undone. Ivory slacks, neatly pressed. Black hair perfectly curled over his forehead, framing an angelic face. Full lips forming an infectious smile that made his eyes disappear as small hands folded away the receipt and tucked his card back into his wallet.
“Ah, the waitress and I had a cute little chat,” flirty Park Jimin chuckled, giving you a little eyebrow wiggle. You rolled your eyes at him. “Did you guys have a nice talk while I was gone?”
“Um…?” Jungkook started, nearly afraid to glance at you for some support.
You gave Jimin a deadpan stare. “You trying to get her number?”
“Me? No, no!” he waved his hands, sitting back down to lean in. “She gave it to me anyway though.”
Figures Park Jimin would introduce you to a guy and also get the number of someone else in the restaurant. You deliberately hadn’t answered Jimin’s question, but he hadn’t noticed.
Jungkook, however, did.
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed him deflate a little and you winced in unease, not sure if you should have avoided it, but at this point the waitress had returned, lashes aflutter and gushing about how they just had to try to fried ice cream and it was on the house, as long as Jimin promised to come back, right? Right?
Jimin promised of course, of course, with a big smile.
You completely ignored him and picked up one of the pieces of fried ice cream – mango, it seemed, by the color – and placed it on one of the small plates before setting it right in front of Jungkook.
He perked up and gave you these big, hopeful eyes.
You didn’t say anything but felt your cheeks flush and your gaze shift, putting on an expression of reluctant apology. After a half second, you bowed your head just a bit, shaking off the moment and serving yourself before serving Jimin.
What?
Damn flirt didn’t even notice.
-
tuesday.
“You didn’t like him?”
“I mean, there’s nothing to like or dislike. He barely said anything. Also, Jimin, I told you, I’m not really a relationship person,” you sighed into your phone, walking quickly to the train station. “I don’t want to give this guy the wrong idea about me. He didn’t really strike me as a fuck-around-and-find-out kinda guy.”
“You said you would change your mind for the right person though.”
Sometimes you thought Jimin argued with you just to argue.
“Yeah, and I don’t even know what kind of person he is because he didn’t say shit,” you barked back to that snippy tone on the other side of the line. Some idiot honked at you and you resisted the urge to flip him the bird. Maybe he wasn’t honking at you. The hanging out the window and catcalling could be to the couple walking next to you.
You highly doubted it.
Also, maybe you just wanted to give someone the middle finger because you couldn’t show Jimin right now how much you deeply appreciated him.
“Jungkookie’s just super shy, but wait a minute and he’ll make you his.”
You rolled your eyes. Damn bad habit that you were forming ever since you became friendly with this mildly infuriating angel. “He’s not making me do anything.”
“I’m telling you; he suits you perfectly. You’re being stubborn and not giving him a chance. Anyway, I gave him your number, so don’t worry!”
“Wait, you did wha–”
The roar of the subway train below cut you off.
“Oop, you’re at the station. You’re breaking up! Can’t hear you, byeeeeeee!”
You twitched as Park Jimin hung up on you.
Asshole.
You pulled your phone away from your ear and pulled up the app to pay for your ticket. Paused for a second. New message, unknown number. Then it was your turn, so you hovered your phone screen, heard the beep, and hurried to the correct train line, finding the one to take you home. It was hectic even now, still within the dregs of rush hour, so you didn’t even think to check for the content of the text until you sat down with a big sigh, somewhat of a fwump with your distressed bomber jacket and baggy cargo pants, both made of thick black fabric. The side of your jacket slid off, exposing your bare shoulder and tight white tank top.
The guy standing about a meter away from you snuck a glance in your direction.
You tucked your tongue in your cheek and yanked your jacket back in place with the hand that was holding your phone. Noticed the screen flash, reminding you of the notification.
Fuck it.
Pressed your thumb and your phone unlocked.
Hey, it’s me. Jeon Jungkook… I wanted to say that I’m sorry about not talking that much last night. I was really nervous because you were so pretty and self-assured. I was so impressed that nothing I could think of seemed like a good thing to say, so I blanked out. I’m very sorry. I hope it is okay for me to text you like this.
An essay.
You paused for so long that you felt your cheeks heat.
The fuck?
You frowned at yourself. For some reason, even though he hadn’t talked much, you could hear the text in your head as if Jungkook was speaking to you directly. Sense the anxiousness in the typed words. See those big eyes gazing right at you with a mixture of curiosity and wonder and what-ifs. You sighed, feeling defeated. It would simply be rude to not reply.
I apologize for being too intimidating.
You sent it before thinking. Aw, shit. That was a bit short, wasn’t it? Damnnit. You saw the sending quadlet of dots spinning slowly, struggling due to you being underground. Fuck. If you sent another message now, it might be out of order and that would just get confusing. And what else could you add? Oh, geez, you didn’t even confirm it was you. The conversation with Park Jimin must have scrambled your egg brains.
The train roared out of the tunnel.
All of a sudden, the message sent and a reply instantly popped up. Actually, a serious of bubbles, rapid-fire like bullets. The confirmation must have lagged.
You’re not intimidating at all! Well… not in a bad way. In a sexy way. I mean, in a good way! In a cool way, like you’re not afraid to say what you wanna say. I really admire that in a person, so I really admire that in you. Sorry, that was weird, wasn’t it? I made things weird… ㅠ.ㅠ
You blinked slowly at the messages. It was pretty clear Jungkook had sat there and pondered over the first message for quite a while and these subsequent ones were stream of consciousness spewing. Honestly, kind of funny. Heh. You could sort of imagine it. Maybe he hadn’t expected you to respond right away. Hm, you wondered if he had hoped you would. He really was trying hard, huh. For what? What was the reason?
You tucked your tongue in your cheek and responded anyway.
Oh, you’re definitely weird, but you never know. I might like that. What’s the outfit of the day, Jeon Jungkook?
Were you fishing for a photo? Of course. He would probably scramble to put on a good outfit to impress you. To your surprise, the downloading image icon popped up instantaneously, spinning, spinning. You tilted your head, surprised at the prompt obedience. He must have snapped a pic right away when you asked. It was taking time to load though. You saw some people getting off the train and looked up, checking the stop. Oh, yours was next.
You took care not to look directly at anyone around you, keeping your sling bag in your lap.
Then you looked down to the inquisitive dark brown eyes of Jeon Jungkook with messy black hair and a black leather jacket. White t-shirt. It was a selfie, so you couldn’t see the pants. It was something borderline vain about the angle, but also a seek of approval in that parted mouth, silver ring and stud dotting the edge of the right side, flash of white teeth and slight bite of the left side revealing a small mole at the center underneath his lower lip.
You twitched.
Bold, wasn’t he?
You weren’t sure if you liked it – well, you didn’t mind it, you just weren’t sure if you like-liked it, what was he trying to play at here, trying to get your heart to beat fast or something, hmph – and you clutched your phone pointedly, your rings clacking as you prepped your fingers to type back… something, be honest here… and your fingers wavered.
Shaking a little.
You let out a breath you hadn’t known you had been holding.
Oh, the pants are blue jeans, but I’m out right now so there’s no mirror to show you.
You heard your stop being called and stood up automatically, filing behind other people getting ready to step off, the train slowing down, everything slowing down, finding yourself staring at Jungkook’s expression in the photo, why were you staring, shifting your eyes quickly, then back, it wasn’t like Jeon Jungkook could see you, ugh, this was so annoying.
Do you want to see? I can take another photo when I get home.
You let out a frustrated exhale that no one else around you could understand. Maybe not even those closest to you would get it. But you knew what it meant, and knowing also frustrated you.
Being self-aware was a bitch.
You finally sent your answer.
I much prefer this look on you than the blazer. Is this your normal fashion style?
You had worn a flowing white blouse and floaty black skirt the night before at dinner, but it was not your typical style. Well, it was, but it was one of your work outfits since you had come straight from the office. Something you wore to not get in trouble with the dress code and knowing you would have to meet up with people later. Sometimes you were a little riskier if you were feeling frisky, but Jimin had told you to look nice for the friend he was introducing you to.
But maybe it would have been better to look more you.
Then again, the restaurant was pretty high end. They might not have let you in.
Oh. Yeah. Hahaha, I wore the blazer because Jimin-ssi told me to look nice for you. I guess this is street-style? I don’t know… I’m not fashionable, I only wear what I think is cool or comfy. What about you?
You strode out of the train and briskly walked to the elevator, muscle memory already knowing where to go, typing back. Pausing when you saw the vending machine. A green tea would be nice right now.
You veered off course and headed to stand in line.
I think my friends would describe my style as dark and strong. They’re always telling me I should dress more feminine or at least in less black, but one of my core traits is not listening to shit people say. And swearing.
You tapped your card and made your selection. Waited out the whirr and clunk. Didn’t pay much attention to the world around you. It was a typical day, people passing by, no warning feelings. And, besides, your phone was much more interesting right now.
You did not just think that.
You scowled at your reflection in the glass of the vending machine before picking up your drink.
I hope I get to see you sometime soon so I can appreciate it. :)
You raised an eyebrow at your phone as you ticked open the can and started walking again, taking a crisp sip. It was slightly irritating that he was better at flirting over text than in person. Or maybe it had just been the circumstance. Come to think of it, it would have been weird if he did with Jimin right there, although you were sure Jimin wanted to be there to witness whatever unfolded. The awkwardness was probably just as entertaining to him as it would be if Jungkook had been more forward.
Hmph.
What was more irritating was that you weren’t instantly annoyed by it.
Hmmmmph.
Are you saying you aren’t intimidated by me, Jeon Jungkook?
You hurried home, following the streetlights, breathless, not because you were running, but because you wanted to be home so you could be alone with…
I’m saying I like feeling your effect on me in person.
Him.
-
wednesday.
The next time you saw Jeon Jungkook, you were groaning and setting your forehead on the edge of washing machine, screaming internally. Would have banged it against the metal if you weren’t going to lose a substantial number of brain cells. You were going to pay cash because you wouldn’t get that card surcharge if you did but, of course, of course you had accidentally shorted yourself and pocketed the wrong amount.
Fuck!
Now you were already at the laundromat. Walk back home and lug your shit to and back to get the right amount? Or just forget it and pay the extra charge? You had already put the detergent in. Fuckity fuck fuck. Technically you could go home, it wasn’t that far, but, ugh, it was extra annoying today because you had slept late and now you were grumpily doing your life responsibilities. Come back a different day? No, you had specifically told yourself to get off your ass and get that pile washed. Damnnit, if you hadn’t slept late and scrambled your egg brains, this wouldn’t have happened!
But you had been talking to Jeon Jungkook.
Ending the conversation had been more difficult than you expected. You gritted your teeth, feeling stupid for pulling such a teenage move. Still young, huh? Young and stupid.
Grr.
You heard the metal slide of the money drawer being closed and then an approval ping!
You jumped back, freaked out at the thing you hadn’t done, and then snapped your head to the sudden presence next to you. Dark blue jeans with giant holes at the knees. Gray hoodie sliding off a built right shoulder. White ribbed tank top. Messy black hair. A piercing, no, two on the right side of open lips.
Big, round, dark brown eyes.
You noticed he was wearing a few silver rings himself.
“Um… hi? I noticed you were short a little so I just…” Jeon Jungkook trailed off, giving you a hopeful look.
You gawked at him.
“What are you doing here?”
Ouch. A little too snappy. Jungkook faltered, those peepers shifting. “Ah… well…”
You bit your tongue and reeled it back. “Sorry. I didn’t expect to see you, is all. Obviously, you came here to wash your clothes like everyone else.”
He reached up and scratched the back of his head nervously. Wait. Why was he looking at you like that?
“W-Well, actually… Jimin-ssi told me you normally come here on Wednesdays to do laundry and I was nearby so I figured., maybe, I’d just check if you were here…”
You stared at him.
“You’re stalking me?”
“N-No!” Jungkook sputtered, waving his hands frantically even though you hadn’t raised your voice.
There was a bristle to your tone though. Indignation and frigidity you couldn’t hide. You frowned, narrowing your eyes, cornering him with your gaze. There were only a few people on this slow day, which was why you picked Wednesday to do laundry, but all the patrons had AirPods or other earbuds in, busying themselves with their shoving of clothing in and out of the washers and dryers. No one was going to interrupt anyway.
Not their business.
“I… I…”
“And how did you recognize me anyway? My head was down,” you remembered, advancing on him, and Jungkook took a step back, swallowing hard. Your outfit was baggy too, dark denim jacket and jeans, the tight black tank hidden by the bulk.
“I couldn’t forget how beautiful your hair is,” he mumbled out quickly, looking a little too mesmerized by your fierceness. Forget that. “And your hands were on the edge of the washer. Your rings. The star chain bracelet you wear. I…”
He was fixated on your collarbones and the thin black choker around your neck.
Or lower.
“Oi! My face is up here,” you hissed, snaping your fingers and making him jerk his head. He had stopped backing up though. You pointed at him, somewhat rudely. Actually, very rudely, but whatever. “What do you mean, check if I was here? And who told you? That idiot. I’ll kill him.”
And why was Jungkook looking at you like that?
Like he thought you were hot when angry.
He better stop that shit because you were losing your irate demeanor for some fuckin’ reason.
“I texted you almost all night. That wasn’t enough?” you half-growled, half whispered.
A tiny head shake.
Ah, shit.
You deliberately did not think that was cute.
“I liked it so much that I…” Oh no, oh no, not that honest tremble and deep gaze into your eyes. “I was hoping I could talk to you again, in person, more bravely this time.”
You opened your mouth to sink in that verbal bite and nothing came out.
The entire laundromat could flood right now and you wouldn’t even notice because you were staring at Jeon Jungkook and wondering if this audacity was freaking annoying or freaking impressive. Not this damn guy within two days leaving you speechless. Well… actually, no, never mind the technicalities.
“Are you even thinking before you do things?” you grumbled, not yet backing down.
Jungkook stuck his hands in his hoodie pockets suddenly. Hm? Nervous and shaking? You couldn’t tell, but you watched him closely, observing his body language, your eyes following those lines.
“Mmmm…” He bit the left side of his lower lip. “No?”
You strongly resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
Shy smile greeting you, accompanying the lip bite.
“I’m just listening to my heart.”
Now you visibly cringed. “Don’t say stuff like that.” Looking away slightly, somehow unable to meet those honest eyes.
“Why? You don’t like it?” Genuinely curious.
“You don’t mean it.” He did mean it and you could see that he meant it but you did not want to admit that you knew that he meant it. Yeah. “You barely know me. We only talked over text.”
“But you gave me thoughtful, frank answers. I don’t believe that you were being dishonest,” Jungkook protested, following you over to the tables a few steps away from the washing machines. You dragged your laundry bag with you and kept your voice down.
“I told you, I’m a straightforward an honest person. I won’t lie to you. And I won’t hesitate to cut you off if you lie to me,” you reminded him.
He nodded. You wanted to shake him and yell at him to stop giving you those eyes. “So I just decided to do what I wanted to.”
You cocked your head at him in disbelief. “You didn’t think you went too far?”
What was with that mischievous smile? “I’m the all-in type.”
You let out a puff of air.
“Also, you haven’t told me directly that you don’t like it,” Jungkook pointed out, leaning toward you, smiling.
You gave him a deadpan stare. “You don’t get me,” you said back flatly.
Those dark brown orbs sparkled. “That’s okay. I don’t have to get you to think you’re cool, clever, and stunning.”
Your eyebrow twitched.
“And why do you say that? Because you see how people look at me? Because you enjoyed my useless facts and tangents last night? Because you think with your dick?” You added the last question with bite, leaning forward too, having enough of this, not really him but…
The fact that you didn’t want to tell him to fuck right off.
Silence.
Jungkook was staring into your eyes.
“The shape of your eyes is so… perfect.”
You felt your ears heat.
He raised a finger and traced the air right in front of your left eye, the scent of his clean cologne drifting in your direction. “The way they sharpen in the inner corner, like a bird of prey… And your irises are so dark and striking…”
You grabbed his finger out of the air.
“Don’t be… weird.”
Why did you pause? Hello? No way you’re being like this over this guy right now.
You pointedly pulled his hand down, pinning it to the table. “Pay attention.”
Jungkook was giving you this dreamy, hazy expression. “Huh? What were you saying?”
You narrowed your eyes. “You can’t even listen.”
He leaned in closer and you caught a whiff of that delicious cologne again. “Sorry. I will. Say it again, please. I’ll listen carefully.”
The fuck were you saying again? The lights of the old laundromat flickered but you barely noticed. A common occurrence in these ol’ mom-and-pop places. And, besides, you were staring at this determined, patient smile and mentally shoving down those butterflies that you definitely weren’t feeling, nope, violently compacting those distracting internalizations into a tiny, windowless box.
“You don’t seem very good at listening,” you finally said, tight and even.
“I am,” he insisted softly. “I promise.”
“I’m too much for you.”
Or was Jungkook too much for you?
“I’m offering all of me,” he whispered to the shared air between you and him. “It might not be enough so I’ll be to work hard and do my best.”
What was he so earnest for? You hesitated, the edges to your hard demeanor softening. You didn’t want to trust stuff like this. It was so easy to get burned and you wanted to be the one to do the burning. And how could you trust people? Even you didn’t say everything out loud. Some things you could say and some you couldn’t say. It was too much trouble to believe in someone.
You had never received unburdened kindness when you were younger.
“We’re not on the same page.”
Jungkook tilted his head. “Aren’t we? But you’re reading me easily and I’m doing my best to learn about you too.”
Your shoulders released the tension. “Don’t pretend with me. It’s clear you’re a relationship kind of guy. And, while I’m not against them, I can’t deliver the same kind of devotion you are willing to give. Can’t you see that?” You removed your hand from his, not realizing it was still there.
His fingertip traced a line on the back of your hand.
Sparks raced along the base of your head.
You remained stern, feeling heavy and hot in your clothes.
“Why do you say that? You don’t think you’re loyal?” he asked very sincerely.
Your eyes narrowed. “Of course, I am. If I like you in that way and you asked me to bury a body, I’d already be digging the grave. But I’m not a flowers-and-chocolate kind of girl. That’s not how I show affection.”
You had no idea how far your clothes were in the cycle. The whole world could crash down and you would still be staring at Jungkook and his body language. His shoulders slouched a little more so he could look up at you with those pleading eyes.
Inhale still in your throat.
“Then, do you not like me?”
Say something.
But you didn’t say anything at all, gazing down at Jeon Jungkook and wondering why you couldn’t get through his thick skull that you were a bad decision. Honestly? Honestly, fine, it was because you grew up with parents that never liked each other nor their kids. Honestly, it was because you grew up too fast and with too much independence to not see the filthiness of the world. Honestly, it was because you saw the finicky innate nature of humanity of never devoting themselves to anything, much less anyone, and why would they?
People were crazy.
Call it personal experience.
You sighed.
“Jungkook, I’m not gonna lie to you. I fuck before I care about anybody. I’m only living to get my pleasure and not take care of anyone, okay? I’m barely keeping my own head together. I’m blunt. I don’t need or want romantic gestures. I just want dick. There. I’m not a good person.”
He was smiling.
Aw, shit.
“I must be favored to know you.”
You twitched, tucking your tongue in your cheek to avoid scowling, which was pretty much scowling anyway, so you failed spectacularly.
“Also, you haven’t said you don’t like me,” Jungkook pointed out. Infuriatingly. “Because it’s not true and you don’t lie. Right?” He said your name with a little too much sweetness and knowing.
You yanked your hand out of his and shoved his hard, muscular chest. He bounced back, grinning a little too happily. You told yourself to hate it and you didn’t. Fuck. “What are you even still doing here? Gonna fold my clothes for me or something?”
The energy at being offered a household chore was disturbing. “Oh! I can! I’m very good at doing laundry. And washing dishes. And cleaning. I like doing that stuff.”
“Sure, you do,” you puffed sarcastically,
“I do,” Jungkook insisted, coming around the table. “And I’m good at it.”
You scrutinized him up a down. “Yeah? Because you don’t know where else to put all that energy of yours?”
His lips parted but all he did was gawk at you. Oop. Right on the money. You were liking this expression a little too much. Maybe it was time to lower these walls a bit. After all, it didn’t seem like Jungkook was going to go away any time soon. He was pretty harmless anyway.
“I could drain you in a night,” you chuckled, smirking.
The tips of his ears were getting red at your lowered tone.
“You think you could keep up?”
-
thursday.
Ugh, it was one of those days that fuckin’ suuuucked.
Woke up late and had to rush to get dressed and bounce, then got to work and some shit was going down about missing documents and people moving papers they shouldn’t have, forcing you to play manager because everyone else had no goddamn spine to fix anything. This department would be a disaster without you. To top it all off, you had people stalling, keeping an irrelevant conversation going, leading you on a wild goose chase with no funny honking – turns out the documents were in some random copier right behind you, for fuck’s sake – and you had a very strong inkling it was because of what you looked like.
Which was fine.
Unless you were actually trying to do your job.
Then, one of your side dishes you had brought for lunch had gone off, so you ended up slightly less full than you wanted to be, and you forgot your jacket at work, leaving it hanging on the back of your chair in your rush to leave, and the train halted several stations before your stop because there was some emergency maintenance or some shit.
Fuckity fuck.
It wouldn’t be so annoying it if wasn’t so windy, but it was and you were wearing a sheer sweater with splashes of jewel-toned colors and a longline black sports bra under it – you had worn your jacket half-zipped until your boss had left in the middle of the day and your co-workers didn’t care how you looked, the dress code was stupid anyway – and black jeans, mid-rise. The rules were more about being covered up rather than being professionally dressed.
The job was primarily sitting at a desk and sorting documents, did it matter how you looked?
Or maybe you just broke the rules a little because you were a rebel.
Your stomach growled angrily and you told it to shut the fuck up.
You stood on the corner halfway between work and home, debating on whether or not to do some damage. The problem was you didn’t have any of the usual bad habits most people had. You didn’t drink, so getting stupid drunk and getting thrown out of the noraebang was out of the question. Also, you couldn’t sing. But, anyway, you barely took medicine, let alone know where or how to procure the illegal fun stuff, so that was also out. You didn’t have a sweet tooth either so you couldn’t down a whole cake with gusto, although that sounded like a great way to go.
You sulked.
You had an addiction, but you just stared at the names in your phone and felt guilty. Guilty! For what? For some guy you met literally less than four days ago? Ugh, no, this couldn’t be you right now. Seriously? Seriously? You crossed and stalked up the block, not yet deciding what to do so you kept walking until you figured it out during this internal battle. You had to keep this guy at a distance. Okay, yes, you could admit you liked him.
And that was the problem.
If you didn’t really like him, you could just fuck him and establish those hard boundaries. No issue. You had been in love before but that was a long time ago and ultimately you ended it because it wasn’t right and you weren’t good enough to be devoted to.
You breathed out hard, the unease spilling out of your insides.
It was definitely easier to not expect anything from anyone. You had spent a lot of life not having and, ultimately, not needing to rely on others, both out of necessity and simply having too much to work on by yourself. Years of fighting off bitterness that you had always tasted, years of letting go of important moments realizing that supposedly important people in your life would never be there for them, years of lashing out and becoming the shadow of the abuse you endured. Eye for an eye and all that. Keep the cycle going, until you had that moment in the eye of the storm to get hit by lightning and realize that this wasn’t right.
It wasn’t any particular thing.
Just finally accepting the creeping self-awareness that you had been miserable and were making other people miserable on purpose because you tore them open and took their hearts to find yours.
Metaphorically, duh.
So now you sort of did this martyr shit of being there for people when you could and not asking for anything back. Especially not a relationship. Intimate to heal a heart and then give it away, which totally worked if they weren’t into you, just into what you could do.
You didn’t really feel it yourself but you did get sex out of it.
Bad addiction, yeah.
Your phone vibrated in your pocket.
You ignored it.
Stepped into a chicken place and stood in line, feeling the weight of your world on your shoulders. You brain tried to reason with you that it was Jeon Jungkook’s own fault if he got hurt. He was the one who chose to spend all that time sitting at the laundromat with you talking about random shit. Your favorite video game – Persona 5, excelling in your top three most important things about a video game: music score, gameplay, and art style. Your favorite American rapper – Ludacris and the way he could rhyme the weirdest words. Your favorite movie genre – surrealist psychedelic drug movies, which earned you a confused head tilt. You had asked Jungkook what he liked. Mood lamps. Singing. Watching cooking videos on YouTube.
Had asked him if he believed in soulmates.
Your phone buzzed in your pocket as you ordered at the kiosk and paid.
You don’t think I could have met you in another life?
You stood with the other waiting patrons, ignoring everybody and your phone thrumming against your hip, thinking about last night.
I probably broke your heart.
Thinking about that smile with two piercings and a lip mole. That smile didn’t trust your answer at all.
Maybe the universe is giving me another chance to make up for my past mistakes. I can’t give up.
You made a face at past Jungkook’s answer, too taken aback all those hours ago to scowl properly. Maybe you had been too tired. Too worn down by his earnest nonsense to fight it properly at that moment. Your hand hovered over you hip, wondering if you should check it. Then dropped.
What, did you need to see him every day or something?
Your name was called and you stepped up to receive your order.
Oh, fuck, you miss him.
You yanked your phone out of your pocket and stared at it as you walked out of the restaurant, only to get plopped by a fat raindrop on the lit-up screen. You looked up to the gray sky and let out a hiss.
“Are you fucking kidding me?!”
You turned around and sat down, grumbling as rain poured down and you replied to Jungkook’s texts.
Stupid.
Not him. Just you.
-
friday.
“What are you trying so hard for?” you snapped.
“Why aren’t you trying hard enough?” Jeon Jungkook shot back.
It was going really well.
Clearly.
You let out a hiss and flicked your hands as if you were trying to physically get rid of his reply. Argh, this… man! The thundering rain was pouring down, down, and you were both standing under a bus stop with no intention of taking the bus. You bit back the volume of your sudden anger. There was no need to yell anyway. No one was coming out in the thick of this monsoon.
Only you and crazy-ass Jeon Jungkook.
Switched tactics. "And what makes you think your virgin ass–"
"I'm not a virgin!"
"You are here!"
And you jammed two fingers into that very muscular chest, right next to the left side of his sternum. Too fast to be stopped. The shove actually made him stumble. Or maybe it was the utter shock of the verbal and physical double jab combined with the deep growl that your voice had suddenly become. His racer jacket and black hair were slick with rain. Half of his white t-shirt soaked. Even the front of his blue jeans drenched.
You panted hard after your outburst, the anger draining away all in a flash of lightning.
Jungkook stared at you with stricken eyes.
The rain pelted down, down, beating into the silence.
“How did you know?” he breathed out.
You didn’t but somehow you did, feeling something inside of you break. Not afraid of the world. Never, never again. No, afraid of what you could do, afraid of breaking something this pure, because you broke your first love too and that past guilt still lingered. Not that you thought Jungkook loved you. He couldn’t This was only the fifth day of him knowing you.
The fuck is going on?
“I see your type all the time,” you sighed, your damp hair all over your face. “Looking for light in black holes instead of stars.” The rain had slipped off your black leather jacket. Your cropped band shirt wasn’t wet, but your black cargo pants were sodden knees down.
This coldness, however, didn’t come from the rain.
“You really should stop. For your own good.”
You looked away from him, feeling as if your own words had pierced bullet holes into your walls. Dark sky, never-ending rain, cars struggling to drive, people running with umbrellas and ponchos, arms huddled close to their bodies, and here you were just standing here in the rain, the world acting out your mind. How nice. You thought you had come to terms with everything, but obviously not. Somehow once you saw Jungkook again, once you felt his presence again, the pull was even stronger and the storm was even more intense and the worst part was that you didn’t want to leave.
You heard Jungkook’s soft, silvery voice through the gray rain.
“Why are you blaming yourself for shit that hasn’t even happened yet?”
You turned your head to look into those pleading brown eyes.
Lightning shot across the sky.
Thunder followed seconds after, eating up the night.
“W… What?”
He shook his head, dripping water.
“You haven’t hurt me. You don’t mean to, either.”
That smile, his hand extended, the inked snake on his wrist showing.
You stared at Jeon Jungkook with droplets beading on your skin but those goosebumps weren’t from the weather. Jerked your head away. What is with this gentleness? How could he know anything? He couldn’t know anything. He was just an airhead who watched too many dramas and made others believe that they could be real.
“Noona?”
You whipped your head to Jungkook, shocked at his use of the honorific. He only used it when Jimin was at the meal. Afterwards, the conversations had been clearly directed at you. Not completely informal speech, but sometimes you slipped and he did too. You never corrected him because, well.
You slapped his hand away.
Nothing was going to happen.
You closed the distance and grabbed his head, pressing your lips to his shaking ones.
It was going to be terrible. Cold. Wet. Acidic from the lingering feelings. There was no way that this kiss could be anything else with this setting.
This was real life.
Not a story.
Your hands cupped his cheeks and you sunk into his kiss. The hard edge of his jewelry and the softness of his breath, caught by your mouth, your eyes already screwed shut, nothing to do but feel, feel the way he instantly pressed back and set his hands on your elbows, pulling you closer, shuddering as your forearms pressed to his chest. A weird feeling, like two fires melting together, prickling racing across your skin, no, deeper, past your ribs and into your heart.
The storm raged on.
You snapped out of the kiss, nose to nose, water trickling in places it shouldn’t, over your eyelashes and down your neck, feeling fingers graze across your elbows. Slipping under the leather. Droplets soaking into your shirt and then warm hands lingering at the curve of your exposed waist.
Tracing your lines.
“Fuck,” you muttered.
And you kissed Jeon Jungkook again.
-
saturday.
No, you didn’t take him home. You’re reckless, yeah.
But you knew how that would go.
Not that Jungkook didn’t try. Maybe you would have done it, if you weren’t the equivalent of wet cat and equally torrenting emotions. His hands around your waist, pulling you closer, heat blossoming between layers of rain-drenched clothing, kiss after kiss, your hands in his hair, tangling those dark waves into wilderness, getting more and more breathless, heady with a feeling you knew but didn’t want to believe in.
For someone who hated lying, you sure enjoyed lying to yourself.
You had reasons.
How could this time be different if it was just following the same trajectory that you always followed?
You had to pry yourself from him, lips tingling, tongue curling, feeling your blood course through your veins and your heartbeat as loud as thunder, opening your eyes to his blissed-out expression, his own eyes still closed, pressing his lips together to savor your taste.
Damn.
You had wanted to tell him to stop it, stop it with all this falling, you were being dragged down by his vibe, clothes feeling heavy, desperate to be stripped away, but you kept your hands along the sides of his head, your exhale escaping but giving you away like a bad con artist.
Those shimmering dark eyes had opened, following Jungkook’s smile.
“You’re a great kisser, noona.”
His hands stayed on your waist, drumming his fingertips on your skin, tangible kisses creating invisible but no less real electricity.
You scoffed, corner of your lips rising.
“Shut up.”
Tendrils of his black-brown hair clung to his forehead. The rain drummed but it had lessened a bit. You had looked back to his eyes, defeated.
“Shut up so I don’t miss you more.”
One last, drawn-out kiss, tongue to tongue and you had broken from him, warning him sternly.
“Don’t follow me.”
Ran all the way home, face burning, not even feeling the rain even though it was still falling.
Now, present time, you sat at this boring farewell party in some fancy hotel with the sun blaring outside. Figures the nice weather would come out when you would have to stuff yourself in a fitted blazer dress and pretend to care about your boss’s boss retiring. Black, of course. For the formal occasion. Sadly, no one was dying except this old coot’s career.
Maybe you were a little salty that you couldn’t retire yet.
You looked down at your phone, which was on silent, noticing you had a new message.
ㅎ.ㅎ
O… Okay. Whatever that face was supposed to mean. You didn’t even bother to answer. Couldn’t, anyway, forced to plaster on a mildly interested expression as your boss gave a speech that you zoned out of. There were multiple large circular tables in the hotel ballroom. Outside the ballroom was an outdoor area with the buffet. Everyone had served themselves before sitting down, but, first, a few words.
A few was turning out to be too many and your salmon was getting cold.
Employees had been allowed to bring plus ones. Wives and husbands. There were a few empty seats, and a few significant others popped in mid-speech, trying to be quiet and politely bowing in apology. Of course, they weren’t required to be on time, having other obligations and such.
You twitched.
Was that why this was dragging on? So everyone could eat at once? For fuck’s sake, who cared if they were late. Then you noticed your boss’s wife stepping in, looking pretty and put-together in a forest green high-necked dress, holding the small hand of a kid in a lopsided children’s tuxedo with an equally confused expression.
Oh.
Come on.
You suddenly felt a disturbance in the Force.
“Excuse me. Sorry, sorry.”
You whipped your head around to see Jeon Jungkook in a black pinstripe suit cha-cha sliding in the empty chair next to you, picking up your black velvet purse and holding it out to you with a grin that made his large, dark brown eyes light up.
You gawked at him.
“Hey. Sorry I’m late.” He added your name politely and with affection, smooth as butter, criminal undercover. Even the honorific, oh, shit.
The blood drained out of your face and you tried not to think about how your co-workers sitting at the table were staring at you and him like you both had three heads. Of course, no one was supposed to be talking, so no one asked questions yet, but that was definitely going to start the second your boss was finished with his sentence.
You took your purse without another word and glared at Jungkook with such fire that you hoped he burned alive at the spot. Oh, this could turn into a murder and a funeral real fucking fast. All he did was give you those shining big peepers that made you want to strangle him. In an unsexy way.
For now.
You leaned over as the clapping started. He caught on and delicately leaned over, offering his ear to your lips.
“The fuck are you doing?”
Jungkook turned his head so only you could hear his whisper.
“I was nearby, so I figured…?”
You stared at him, plumb slack-jawed at this audacity.
He closed the distance and gently kissed your cheek. You ticked your head almost robotically, piercing eyes following his playful ones, and now you wondered if Jeon Jungkook was truly not right in the head or perfect for you.
Well.
You weren’t right in the head either.
You did text him earlier this morning that you needed to come to this party at this hotel to send off this important retiree. If you missed this, then it would have reflected poorly on you, especially when you wanted to keep your job, so, yes, it was part of the reason why you had not attempted to convince Jungkook to sleep over – not that he needed any convincing whatsoever – and the other reason was to get enough sleep so you could tolerate socializing. Did you think Jungkook was gonna finesse his way into the seat next to you? Hell no. Did you think he was gonna dress smartly and with his black hair parted neatly in the center, fuckin’ black tie pressed and collar pinned? Fuck, no.
Did you think you would like it?
No!
“How did you get them to let you in?” you hissed under your breath.
Jungkook was clapping like a seal because everyone else was. A champagne bottle was being popped. He looked systematically impressed and awed. Amazing acting. “I just said I was with you.” Glanced at you and grinned, the silver piercings on his lip gleaming. A hoop and a stud. “Aren’t I, noona?”
The urge to growl at him to shut the fuck up was silenced by your brain reminding you to be safe-for-work.
You felt a poke at your sleeve. Your co-worker sitting at your left, bleach-blond and with the curiosity of a child. Full of sudden comments and questions too, just like a kid.
“Oh, oh! You never mentioned anything about a boyfriend!” Because you didn’t have one until right now, apparently. “So handsome!” Yes, he was. You had taste. “How did you meet?” Circumstances beyond your control.
“Through a… friend.”
That was a very generous word for instigator Park Jimin.
Jungkook poked his head past you and waved. “Hi! Nice to meet you.” He was using you as a shield to avoid directly interacting with these people he didn’t know. Just chiming in with polite nods as you introduced him to the table and sitting back to let you have this uninvited spotlight that was burning you like the sun did to vampires.
Pretty close, in all honesty.
“Aw, what a sweet guy. It’s nice to meet you too. I didn’t think your type was so young and cute.”
You almost made a face of distaste. “You thought my type was old and ugly?” Oop, there goes your sharp tongue.
“Nooo.” You tried not to flinch at the playful slap of your arm. “More mature, maybe? But this is better. You don’t have to be so serious. Look at his smile! I bet that’s what drew you in.”
You glanced at Jungkook and he appropriately smiled big at the right time. Somehow, he had obtained a plate of steak. How, you didn’t care. You narrowed your eyes just a sliver. Jungkook did not stop smiling but there was at least an iota of fear in those big brown eyes. Speaking of vampire, maybe you should suck the life out of him because he was being too fuckin’ much.
“Well, he was persistent to put it lightly. Might as well give him the chance to win me over.”
Jungkook beamed like a billion-kilowatt lightbulb. Or a crystal chandelier. It depended if you wanted to say the light came from his white teeth or sparkling eyeballs.
Fuckity fuck.
You wanted to rub your temples but refrained.
You would never recover from this.
“Are you mad at me?” Jungkook asked you later.
Oh, now he wondered if you’re mad. You didn’t even look at him, dragging him away from the crowd by the elbow. Hopefully you had stayed long enough but there had been so many of the same questions that you were either getting dizzy or murderous. Hm. Why not both?
“I’m not mad at you,” you muttered.
“You kinda sound mad.”
“I’m not mad but I’m gonna get mad if you keep saying I am,” you warned. “Don’t start a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
“A what?”
“Where did you park?”
His voice became small even though he was right next to you. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
The sun was blaring down on the open parking lot, it was annoyingly humid, you were socially drained, and this, not this. You spun abruptly, too much crashing down too fast, flinging Jungkook’s arm from you.
“No,” you hissed out. “No. Don’t you dare take it back. You wanna be crazy and drive me crazy, fine, do it, keep doing it, don’t stop, but own up. I’ve got enough push-and-pull jammed into my head and I don’t need you adding to it.”
It was so easy to simply give in to the rising anger, but you found yourself locked into Jungkook’s wide, taken-back eyes, drowning in them, deeper than the ocean, seeing how rueful he was.
“Don’t do that to me,” you sighed.
At least your voice didn’t crack. You didn’t want to be angry anyway.
You raised your hand to cup his cheek but paused, not knowing anymore what was what. Always been so sure until the world started getting flipped upside down by Jeon Jungkook. You always knew all of the things to do to make someone interested, all the things to say to make them swoon, and now you didn’t know anything at all because this guy showed up and jumped right in, not even caring about the damages, the fine print, or the past that lingered.
Why are you blaming yourself for shit that hasn’t even happened yet?
Jungkook leaned forward and completed the curve of his cheek into your hollow palm, now looking at you eye-to-eye with a curious expression.
The corner of your lips curved upwards.
You leaned forward, saying your next words very seriously.
“You. Are. Crazy.”
-
sunday.
You sat against the window, waiting for the document to print out.
No one was in the office. You had rolled over here out of sheer boredom, looking up at the gray-blue sky and watching shafts of sunlight phase in and out. Overtime to prepare documents for Monday. You hadn’t bothered to follow dress code, but there was a breeze today, so you wore brown plaid trousers and an old vintage t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. The faded album cover of Papa Roach’s Infest. Your oversized black leather jacket was on the back of your office chair once again.
You spun in your chair, the print job long done.
Thought back on the week.
Day one, awkward dinner and the start of a rollercoaster.
Day two, clutching your phone and waiting for replies due to the spotty service of the subway.
Day three, washing machines and dryers and long conversations.
Day four, shitty day with a nice ending to more texts. Better service too.
Day five, cold rain and warm lips.
Day six, surprise! You have a boyfriend and everybody knows!
You got up and wandered to the copier. Stacked everything up and clipped the right parts together, setting it on your boss’s desk. Glanced at the time at your computer. The blank screensaver abruptly appeared, showing you your blurred reflection.
Your fingertips lingered on your chest, the soft, worn fabric of the shirt reminding you of night after tumultuous night of the past. Time that made you, you. Scars you made by holding on too tightly to pain others gave you. The thought of scars in others that you started and they held on to. Repenting, in a way, healing the hearts that came in your path with intimacy and the passion you were afraid to show Jeon Jungkook because what if, what if…
What if it actually matched well?
“You,” Park Jimin had said to you months ago, “You need someone who thinks of you as their whole world.”
“I don’t want that.”
“You don’t want it. But you need it.”
You didn’t have Park-Jimin-being-right on this year’s bingo card, fuck.
You clocked out and collected your stuff, turning off the lights as you left the office, black boots the only solid sound around you, pulling out your phone to check the address one more time.
“Why are you wearing clothes?” you asked accusingly.
“Um…?”
You gripped the sides of the denim jacket and yanked it off his shoulders, pinning Jeon Jungkook’s arms to his sides. He immediately yelped but you silenced him by stepping through the door and pulling him to you by the button placket, tracing the edge of his open lips with your tongue.
“W-Wait, noona, the d-door…”
“I don’t care.”
Kissed him, deeply.
That now familiar scent, closer, slipping your tongue between his lips, succumbing to the flutters. In, out, feeling him collapse under you and moan in his throat, hard body stumbling into yours, hand haphazardly smacking the edge of the door.
It closed behind you.
You rolled your body into his, closer than close with too many layers in between, tangling his arms in his own jacket, swallowing his gasp and feeling him wiggle determinedly to free his hands and then they were on your face, strong fingers fanning out over your jaw, his jacket falling to the floor, hungrily following your tongue and lips with his own.
Something addicting about the addition of metal to those soft mouth.
This was your forte, the ability to make fantasies come true, and you took it seriously, throwing your bag onto the table by the door and shedding the protective layer of leather. Pressed chest to chest, holding his head and tracing his lips, slow fucking them, running your fingertips over the curve of his ears and making him shiver, noting the three hoops along his left ear.
Pressed your hands down his chest, over the smooth ribbed white tank molding to his muscular torso, down, down, kissing past his lips, to that mole underneath, down his chin, his head tipping back, your name drifting above your head as you kissed down his neck, the sharp clean scent of his cologne getting stronger.
“I thought… we were… o-oh, g-going out…”
“I’m gonna fuck you,” you breathed into his collarbones, hot and low, nicking his skin with your teeth and making him shiver. “Right now. Tonight. Maybe tomorrow too.” Undid the button of his jeans with some effort, yanking him towards you again and molding your hips to his, thighs to hard thighs, and that stiffness wasn’t only a sturdy zipper. “Tuesday as well. Fuck it.”
“The whole week,” Jungkook gasped as you unzipped his charcoal jeans.
“Yeah, good, you’re keeping up,” you murmured and grabbed his head again, catching a fistful of his black hair, kissing him hard with your other palm pressed to his hardness. Your tongue tracing the edge of his lips, breathing into his mouth and swallowing Jungkook’s wanton moan, intoxicated by the moment.
You pulled back just to yank your shirt over your head, tossing it to the floor.
It took longer for it to float down than for you to get on your knees.
“Woah…!”
Hooked your fingers on the elastic waistband of his Calvin Kleins and tugged them down, exhaling over that thick length that popped out. He smelled clean, like he had just showered, and you half-smiled, approving, closing the distance to curl your tongue around hard taut skin.
“Ooooh… fuuuuuuuck…”
Tightly taking control, using only your tongue to scoop around his girth and flick against his balls. Kisses, licks, flutters of breath, all of it, sensation after sensation, layering on the heat, adding sweetness to the obscene, his twitching cock hitting your cheek as you pressed kisses to his balls.
“Let me show you something,” you hummed and swallowed his pride.
Jungkook gasped so loud that his hands shot up to his mouth, fingers laced over his moan, one inked arm and one tan one, tilting his head back as your lips closed around him, softly, your tongue cupping the head, caressing the underside, the slit, letting him throb against wet muscle. Pushed him up to the roof of your mouth and slowly, in and out, rubbing the base of the head against your lips every time you ascended, fanning your fingers over his crotch to hold the base and cup his balls in between your index and thumb. Steady and consistent, sucking him off with deliberate precision.
You had a lot of fancy skills to show off but, for this first time, might as well give him the stripped-down version.
Heh.
So you blew Jungkook at his front door in your bra and pants with his clothes half-on and struggling to breathe.
“A-Ah, so s-soft… and so tight… h-how…”
You didn’t speed up. Didn’t put in more force. Used your whole torso, not just your head and neck, to avoid strain, holding his hips to take him deeper but at the same pace, letting the orgasm build with his heart rate, running your thumbs over his balls, a gentle caress, closing your eyes to savor it. Hard and twitching, but you didn’t let him disturb what you had going on, extending out the minutes, saturating every second with flowing, unavoidable bliss.
What?
You could match his vibe with your kind of romance.
You heard Jungkook’s pitch hike and the muscles under your fingers all tensed up. You spared a look upwards, but he wasn’t looking at you, shoving his hands into his messy black hair, displaying his prominent triceps, and moaning to the ceiling, dragging his bangs over his eyes.
“Oh my God, I’m cumming, fuuuuck…!”
You pillowed your tongue around the head and his salty orgasm flooded your mouth, spilling out and down your throat, but you cupped what you could and coated the sensitive head, pleased to hear Jungkook’s shudder and whimper of ecstasy, gripping his hair and pulling. The close-fitted nature of his tank top left nothing to the imagination, the aftershock rippling up his chest, even his hardened nipples poking against the fabric.
You swallowed.
Jungkook moaned and his head fell back again, his eyes probably rolled back.
Gotta finish him off right.
You licked around him carefully, cleaning him off and keeping him hard.
“You…”
Cocked an eyebrow as you shifted your eyes up, his cock buried in your throat, pulsing your muscles around his length. His chin was on his chest, wayward dark curls hanging down, shaking wide eyes watching you with fascination, his shaking voice full of awe.
“You know… how porn calls it a mouth-pussy? I really thought that shit was fake and sounded stupid, but… you have a mouth-pussy.”
You blinked at him and tried not to snort out in laughter.
You just raised both eyebrows and flicked his balls with your tongue. A few seconds later, you pulled back and countered with, “Really? Mouth-pussy? That’s how you show gratitude for the best suck of your life?”
“B-But it’s true!”
You shook you head and waved a hand at him.
“Clothes. Off.”
Every hour, every minute, every second.
Full of sex.
Jungkook wasn’t lying. He wasn’t a virgin. He was a little too good at fingering to be a virgin. Well, you hadn’t had his dick yet but it was pretty obvious with the slow circles on your clit and the kissing of your collarbones. Clothes didn’t even make it to the bedroom. Most of them were left by the door. Your shoulder blades and ass touching the bed, his other hand along your back and tracing your spine as he kissed across your breasts, shyly shifting his gaze back to your face to constantly check if you were enjoying it, not quite confident that he was making your heart flutter. You smirked back at him, taking his hand and pressing his fingers to your wet slit, pushing them in yourself.
He breathed out with you, watching your face as the pleasure snaked out from your core.
Two of them, taking it slow, but you shook your head and pressed his down, your hard nipple against his lips, and he followed your lead, faster, harder, your inner walls clenching around him, sighing deeply as the pleasure flowed, soft licks and tracing tongue. You let him have it, the slower, more romantic pace, spreading your fingers over his sheets and thrusting into his hand, adding to the pleasure, and Jungkook’s eyes glittered, kissing from one nipple to another with a smile.
“Harder?”
“And faster,” you agreed, licking the air between you and him.
Hey, you weren’t a virgin either and you liked it rough.
He kissed you first, entranced by your tongue, harder, faster, your hips following his hand, entangled in this beat, and then it was back to your nipples, kissing sucking, sparks of sensuality over your skin, your hands diving into his hair. Heat. Roughness. Passion, catching your breath and your head falling back, inhaling his scent and the clean sheets, the orgasm flooding through you, delicately forming his name with your lips.
“Ah, Jungkook…”
You didn’t let it stop there though.
His hand moved to pull out and you clutched his wrist and pushed him back in, your nail catching his ring finger, collecting it too, gasping at the added fullness, and you pulled his left hand out from under your back.
Jungkook watched you curiously as your rode his right hand and turned his left, thumb down.
You fitted it around your neck and positioned it correctly, grinning devilishly at him.
He got the hint.
Slightly unsure at first but you built his confidence, comfortably laying back on his bed and spreading out your fingers, moaning softly for him, rocking your hips into his hand, climbing to the high again, stronger his time. His fingers pressed inwards and you breathed out, savoring the choking, the way time slowed down, the way the sensations heightened, your spine arching, low gasp like heavy smoke, immortalizing the moment in his memory, black pupils blown out in those beautiful dark eyes, leaning forward to run his tongue over your nipples.
Your fingers curled into the sheets, thrusting into his fingers harder.
Lids heavy, drowning in the pleasure, his tongue, his hands, the way he looked at you like you were his whole world, the tension between you and him, sweet and intense and overwhelming, just perfect, your exhale only a thin wisp now, closing your eyes and moaning to the ceiling as you came.
It was a hard, thundering pulse, much more powerful than before, your shivering pussy gripping his fingers and your hips bucking. Thighs snapping closed, whining as you felt the hardness of his tattooed forearm, your head snapping to the side the second he released you, the rushing blood knocking you down and making your nerves sing, strong flinches across your arms and torso. Gasping to catch your breath.
Wasn’t his first time choking, but maybe the first time he got really turned on by it, because Jungkook was ogling you like a three-star Michelin meal.
It was like that all night.
From the first time he entered you, one condom wrapper the start of many, biting the left side of his lip and shuddering – “H-How are you so tight…? I just f-fingered you – oooh!” – and you wrapped around him tightly, smirking a little too smugly, one arm around his neck and one leg on his shoulder. Your fingers petaled around the base of his head, cupping him in the flower of your touch. Your thigh against his hard chest still trembling from your kisses. You angled your hips and he slipped in deeper, groaning in disbelief, his brows furrowing at you.
“H-Hey!”
Your tongue pocketed in the side of your smirk and you fucked him right.
“Gah!”
Jungkook, too, fucked you right.
You lead the pace so he could bring the force of his hips. Ah, fuck, right there, like that, and you let him know, the cries tumbling out and mixing with his, rushing wave after wave pressing into you, filling you with his girth and his power. You brought the intensity, the flint to his flame, the break in his pride and Jungkook was looking down at you, shoulders flexed, jaw tight and eyes hazy, clear emotion swirling within them and you saw your own gaze fixated on him, wanting him more than you wanted the sex.
Oh.
Shit.
You gasped and dug your nails into his scalp, grasping the pillow and throwing your head back, not expecting the suddenness of your high, injected into your heartbeat and pushing all the air out of your lungs, veins ablaze with heat as your core clenched, inner walls throbbing all around him. Jungkook groaned, biting his lower lip and thrusting hard, the small mole underneath shaking just as hard as his shoulders, but he couldn’t hold back any longer, squeezing his eyes shut, muffled scream as he came, his head falling back, two tones the start of an ongoing, wanton melody.
“Holy… fuck…”
Well, more like unholy fuck but you didn’t correct him.
You kind of expected him to pull out and leave, but instead his head snapped back and he dived down, catching your lips and dripping sweat on you, making you both laugh. Kiss after kiss, all over your face, and you could barely sputter out – “Oi, you’re sweaty!” – but he didn’t care, kissing all over your cheeks and down your neck, your chest, slurping at your nipples, you narrowed your eyes at that but those playful eyes just sparkled with deviousness, trailing down, down.
Slowing.
Jungkook pressed his lips to your waist, looking up at you.
Your heart thundered against your chest and sparks danced over your skin.
Somehow at ease.
“What?”
You smiled down at him.
“I don’t ever want to leave your side.”
Your lips parted to give him a snappy comeback, yeah, well, I gotta go to work, but nothing came out.
Jungkook grinned, his whole face lighting up and dove between your legs, biting and kissing the inside of your thighs, attacking them with his menacing mouth.
“Hey! Oi! I’m sensitive, f-fuck!”
Even planting a fat wet kiss on your clit for good measure.
“Ah!”
Shoving his tongue in your pussy.
“YO!”
You gawked at his audacity, twisting away from him. Infuriatingly, he followed, scrambling for your ass.
“There was just a condom in there!”
“Ah, who cares,” said the one that clearly didn’t. “Kiss me.”
“Hell no!”
After cleaning up and pinning him down on his own bed and thoroughly scolding him, somehow you ended up making out with Jungkook and his fingers were in your pussy again. It sounded very wet and squishy down there, probably because you showed Jungkook just now much you liked kisses under your earlobe. His tongue against your skin, teeth nicking, sucking hard and making you moan and grind on his hand, pressing against his chest.
“Sit on my face,” he whispered in your ear.
Which was know you ended up grasping his headboard and his tongue between your legs, the piercing pressed against the left side of the outer lips. You kept your weight on your knees, but Jungkook grabbed your ass and tipped your hips at a different angle, your clit right on his tongue, his nose against your crotch.
“Fuuuuck, you smell so good…”
You could barely hear him but you felt him speak, gasping at the strange sensation of hot breath and swiping tongue, his lips wrapping around your most sensitive nerves. He had a much softer tongue, but there was consistency there and plenty of gusto. It helped, actually, to have his hands gripping your thighs, adding the amplifying pleasure of restraint. You rode his face, matching the movement of his tongue. One of your hands left the headboard. Trapped your nipples between your fingers and pulled at them, making Jungkook’s eyes go wide and watch eagerly, licking and sucking harder.
Layered and intricate, full of sensation and emotion, gazing down at him and smirking as the sparks turned into lightning and you soaked his face, shivering, tipping forward at the flinches of climax, swearing under your thin breath, panting, snapped tension draining you and wetly sticking to his lips, his tongue, his cheeks.
He shoved his tongue into your quivering pussy and you sucked in a breath, feeling your inner walls pulsate around his curling muscle, his low, gravelly moan filling what little air there was between his mouth and you, his satisfaction vibrating through your body and mixing with your afterglow.
You slid down his chest and kissed him again, tasting your subtle sweet-sour on his slick lips.
He wanted you to jack him off hard and fast, the fingers of your other hand splayed out over his chest, forgetting about anything else, time only a construct, your phones discarded by the door, and here, in this bed, there was only Jungkook and you, his cock pulsing in your grip, your foxy expression to his desperate one, his eyes rolling back in the intensity, biting down hard on the left side of his lip, the small mole underneath shaking in anticipation, the tendons of his neck popping out.
You raised your free hand and gently stroked his cheek with your knuckle as you punished his cock.
His lower lip popped out of his mouth and he groaned, rough and breathless.
“A-Ah, fuck!”
A hot stream of liquid dripping down the back of your hand, drenching you and him in the strong scent of sex. Thick and potent, and you leaned forward and kissed him deeply, tightly holding his jerking cock and squeezing it all out of him.
“You’re amazing,” Jungkook panted, even after getting up – once again – to attempt to clean up your collective mess.
“Mhm,” you hummed, sitting beside him. He was radiating heat. “I was never worried about that.”
“Hah… You’re… You’re crazy…”
You had obtained your phone and just now sent a message to your boss that you would be taking a sick day on Monday. You have plenty of those. “Speak for yourself.”
“I mean, you’re like… um… uh, oh! A semen demon…”
“What?”
You almost threw your phone in laughter. Actually, you couldn’t even hear Jungkook’s explanation for what the hell he meant by semen demon because you were laughing too hard, barely able to breathe. There wasn’t a normal explanation anyway – how could there be? – and you kept inelegantly snorting afterward at inappropriate times. Jungkook, for his part, seemed proud for making you laugh so much.
“You look so beautiful laughing.”
Your response was quick, immediate, and lighthearted.
“Shut up.”
He snuggled his still too warm head into the crook of your shoulder.
“Will you stay?”
You gave him a look and then showed him the sent text message on your phone. There was something special and perfect about the smile that lit up his face, clearly showing his devotion and clearly seeing yours.
“Yeah, I’ll stay.”
Jungkook skipped work too. Both of you ended up sleeping in.
--
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sixosix · 10 months
Text
and his voice is a familiar sound | scaramouche
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forced proximity + childhood friends reuniting, humor, kissing and tension. suggestive implications and suggestive humor, a bit of scara’s mommy issues, wc 5k
ft. a down bad jealous bf scaramouche, bffs heizou and kazuha, and aether bc aether always has to be there
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“If I ask you to come with us for a vacation, would you say yes?”
Your bedroom was already too cramped for one person, with what you could afford with your money after quitting your part-time job. It made it incredibly difficult for all parties involved when you invited someone over, especially when that person had no concept of personal space. You barely looked up from the pages of your book, humming halfheartedly to whatever Heizou is saying. You heard vacation and instantly decided to not waste your time.
Heizou must have sensed these thoughts, too, because he forces himself into your field of view by nearly climbing over your lap. “Hey, look at me. Would you say yes?”
“Heizou!” you hissed, pushing him off before Heizou could wrinkle the pages of the book that’s definitely overdue for borrowing time. You started to think about taking another part-time job if your friends kept inviting themselves over and invading your personal space.
Heizou looked at you, his face doing a complicated combination of a frown and a smug grin. “Come on. You never join us on trips…”
“For good reason,” you said, gesturing to the lapful of Heizou you are currently getting bombarded with.
“You’re so mean,” Heizou laughed, thankfully getting off your lap. He refused to let go of you, however, immediately wrapping an arm over your shoulder and pressing up against your side. This must be one of his techniques to make the people he was questioning feel restricted. It was working. “How will you get yourself to settle for a nice, young man with that attitude? What are you even reading?”
“I grabbed whatever book had a pleasing cover so I can tune your nonsense out.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.
“What?” Heizou clapped the book shut and turned to you with the eyes of a reprimanding mother. “I swear I’m being serious. Can’t you consider it for even a minute? You’re breaking my heart. Plus, Kazuha’s the one who’s inviting us out.”
Hmm. What a compelling argument. Heizou knew that no one could ever say no to Kazuha. You wouldn’t really care if your absence would break Heizou’s heart, but Kazuha’s disappointed eyes were enough to put a god to their knees.
You zeroed in on Heizou’s wording. “Who’s ‘us’?”
Heizou started listing each with a raise of a finger. “Just Kazuha and Aether—and a friend we met recently. Kazuha invited him.”
You frowned. You didn’t know Aether visited again. “How the hell did Aether get invited?” Then, upon careful reflection: “And who’s the new friend?”
“If he was around, why not, right?” Heizou laughed, carefully setting the overdue book aside from your view. “The new friend’s Scaramouche. Have you met him before?”
What a strange name. Kazuha always managed to befriend people from all over, like a child bringing home turtles and a new species of bugs. You made a note to look him up. “Never heard of him.”
He hummed. “Said he came from Sumeru but he looked pretty Inazuman to me. Funny guy. He’s like a disgruntled baby brother.”
“And you only met him, what, recently? Why is he invited to our group already?” you asked, like the territorial person you are. How come it seemed like you were the last to know about this guy?
Aether was alright. Aether came back every few months to check up on everyone and got roped into all kinds of things with your friends, so you knew him well enough already. You liked his long braid. Heizou and Kazuha had been your friends for as long as you could remember being a college student.
Heizou grinned, patting your head. “Scaramouche’s nice, I promise. You wouldn’t even notice he’s there.”
At your dubious stare, Heizou amended, “C’mon, do you think I’m the type to befriend an asshole?”
Yes, but Heizou wasn’t the type to befriend a major asshole whose opinions he vehemently disagreed with, and he thought belonged better in jail, so you had to think about it for a bit. At the very least, this new guy didn’t seem like a criminal.
Your friends loved traveling, with Kazuha mostly being the culprit, but you liked staying inside most of the time. They never forced you to go with them, so why was Heizou being suspiciously persistent today?
“I think he’s your type,” Heizou finally said, caving in.
“You’re trying to hook me up with him?”
“Not exactly… but you two would seem cute.” He went silent for a thoughtful moment. “I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed if you slept together.”
You made a face.
Heizou laughed brightly. “Alright, alright. You can go back to being the good poster student you are if you promise to think about it. Seriously. Kazuha’s moving to Liyue soon—he’s probably inviting us out because of that.”
“I’ll think about it,” you said, reaching around for your book.
You would. What Heizou said about Kazuha made you remember that there are only a few weeks left until this is all over—then, after that, you all might go your separate ways. That thought floated around your mind for a little while as Heizou made himself comfortable on your bed, sighing before he dozed off.
You sighed, shuffling to give him space. “If this is your way of trying to make me get laid, try to at least be subtle and not weird me out before I even meet the guy.”
You stalked Kazuha’s Insta to search up this Scaramouche guy and nearly dropped your phone.
scaramouche11206. It was empty, entirely useless for your research. Scaramouche’s profile was a public account, had zero posts, and had four people he was following. It was Kazuha, Aether, Heizou, and a Vahumana Darshan update page.
You checked the tagged posts, and your jaw dropped to the ground.
Scaramouche was Kunikuzushi.
Heizou was taking a group selfie in the image, his tongue stuck out and winking while the camera showed two other men. On the left was Kazuha, with his ever-polite smile, then on the other, with the all-black getup was what the tags said was scaramouche11206.
It was a little difficult to tell why you were enamoured with the masked face with a short hime cut for a moment, but the piercing stare to the camera couldn’t be mistaken. It was a minute of staring before it clicked. This was your Kunikuzushi.
You dialed Heizou before you could even think about it.
“What…? It’s five a.m.” He sounded like he just woke up, “What’s up?”
You swiped back to the image of Scaramouche, as if staring at it any longer would imprint each pixel to your brain and bring him to life before you. “Hey, where’s Kazuha? Tell him I’m going.”
YEARS AGO.
Summer. The cicadas rang in your ears. They chirped about as you and Kunikuzushi trudged further into the forest. Sunlight peeked through the leaves, splashing Kunikuzushi’s beautiful face in a delicate glow.
Komorebi. Shadows scattered on the ground. Kunikuzushi lifted his head and turned to you. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
His voice was quiet, but even with the wind and the singing cicadas, you could hear him loud and clear. You could pick out his voice from a crowd. Your heart would know where to find him.
“I like looking at you,” you said. “I like you.”
He accepted the answer and continued walking. You beamed. Usually, Kunikuzushi would scoff and bat your words away, hiding his flustered face. But he didn’t.
Longing. Kunikuzushi turned back to you, stopping in his steps. You nearly bumped onto his back. “Do you like me enough to marry me?”
Was this a marriage proposal? You tried to think of you and Kunikuzushi, walking down aisles and reciting vows, and almost laughed. But then you tried to think of anyone else. You tried to think of a life without Kunikuzushi.
You thought of Kunikuzushi with anyone else and nearly threw up in his face. “You’re the only one for me.”
“Even if I hurt you?”
You frowned. “You would never hurt me, Kuni.”
Kunikuzushi’s expression crumpled. He could never hide anything from you; he was too expressive, eyes round and lip trembling. Your heart sunk to your stomach. You reached for his hands and forced him to look at you. “Kuni, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”
He looked at the ground. “I said I didn’t want to live with her anymore. I didn’t really think Mom would make Aunt Nahida take me.”
The cicadas faded. The world fell into a hush. Your grip on his hands grew weak. “What?”
Kunikuzushi didn’t have a good relationship with his mother; you knew that. They were complicated. They always fought and he grew up to loathe her. You knew that. But you didn’t think…
You breathed in deeply. It was not Kunikuzushi’s fault. It was not Ei’s—and definitely not Nahida’s fault. It was just the way things go sometimes.
You forced a laugh, hoping to ease the troubled expression on his face. “Were you proposing because you’re moving away?”
Kunikuzushi blushed. “Shut up.”
Your face softened. He was always so cute when his face was as red as the red by his eyes.
Kunikuzushi inhaled sharply, taking your hands and looking at you with a determined glint in his eyes. “If I were going to ask you out, I would do it better than anyone who would try to marry you. So don’t entertain them.”
The trip’s plan was basically swimming when you could, staying at a hotel, driving out of the hotel to eat somewhere cheaper, and it would be stretched out for a few days. All in all, it didn’t sound too bad. With the type of people you were going out with, you were expecting a lot more drinking (Kazuha) and near-death-related activities (Aether). Although Heizou said it was Kazuha’s trip, he was apparently mistaken.
“It was originally for Scaramouche and his family, but his mother had last-minute changes and couldn’t go,” Kazuha explained as he helped you fit your luggage in the trunk of Aether’s car. “Scaramouche said it would be a waste and told me to invite my friends.”
“Woo-hoo, Scaramouche’s mom!” Heizou cheered.
“When we met her, it seemed like you hated her,” Kazuha mused as Heizou climbed inside the car. You were in the passenger seat while the two were shoved in the back. It seemed that even if you moved to a bigger apartment, you’d end up suffocated by Inazuman men either way.
“Hard not to after hearing Scara’s contempt for her. I’m an empath or something.” 
Aether adjusted the side mirrors. “Are we forgetting anything?”
“Where’s the Scaramouche guy?” you asked.
Heizou cast you a sly smile. “He’s already at the hotel, probably buying us other rooms.”
At least another thing about him hadn’t changed: he’s still disgustingly rich. You did some digging about the hotel, and it was the kind of place you could only dream of even looking at. You suddenly felt severely underdressed for a five-star hotel, with only sweatpants, a duffle bag, and a dream.
“Hmm, I don’t think so,” Kazuha said, and weirdly enough, you caught him looking at you curiously from the sideview mirror.
“No?” Heizou crossed his arms behind his head. “I doubt Scaramouche’s the type to willingly share a room with anyone.”
Aether scoffed, laughing under his breath. “Definitely not with us.”
You looked outside to hide a smile. It seemed that your Kunikuzushi hadn’t really changed drastically. This made you feel better about meeting him again.
“What made you change your mind?” Heizou asked.
You sighed and fell into step along with him as Kazuha and Aether went on ahead. There are families crowding the lobby, draped in gold that matched the fabric of the chandeliers overhead. Their jewelry was brighter than your future. Even the floor smelled expensive.
“Scaramouche did,” you mumbled.
Heizou’s brows lifted to his hairline. “Oh?”
“I mean—I don’t know, I’m not sure yet.” You were absolutely sure, but it’d be embarrassing if he didn’t recognize you at all, and Heizou would think you were just lying. It had been years.
Heizou tilted his head. “Well, whatever it is, I’m rooting for you. And if he fucks up, I know how to pack a punch.”
You didn’t doubt it. Heizou definitely knew how to pack a punch.
The hotel was so fancy and so meant for only rich kids that you and Heizou stood out like sore thumbs by looking around. Some woman your age walked past, her chin high and her steps light. You and Heizou looked at each other, then tried to mimic the same grace as you pair sashayed towards the desk.
“What are you idiots doing?” Aether asked as you reached them.
“Fitting in, unlike you,” Heizou said.
A new voice cut in. “Took you losers long enough.”
Scaramouche turned around after speaking to the clerk, his mouth in a thin line and his stare piercing. He also stood out next to the men in polo with his fingerless gloves and gold rings. He looked like he belonged better on an Inazuman fashion magazine cover than on a hotel vacation with a bunch of losers.
Heizou beamed. “Scara!”
“Hey,” Scaramouche said, then his eyes landed on you.
It was hard to tell if there was any reaction on his face because Heizou went up to him to ruffle his hair, stealing away his attention.
“Thanks for inviting us out. I didn’t know you were the type to want to snuggle with his friends.” Heizou waggled his eyebrows as Scaramouche pushed him away with a hand to Heizou’s face.
Scaramouche wrinkled his nose. “I am not sharing a room with any of you three. You snore, Kazuha snores louder, and I would wake up to Aether’s leg on my stomach the next morning.”
“That was one time,” Aether muttered, blushing.
“How many rooms are reserved?” Kazuha asked.
Scaramouche sighed, craning his neck. He had a really nice side profile. “Still two. The other one with a king and the other with two queens. I was supposed to have the first, but you didn’t tell me you were inviting someone else. This shithole’s booked full now.”
Your gaze fluttered away as they all turned to you. You bit your lip, frowning. Did Scaramouche not recognize you? He was acting like he didn’t. He was treating you like he would any stranger. That upset you, but for the entire car ride, you were also preparing for it. It probably would’ve hurt worse if you hadn’t mentally prepared yourself.
Heizou grinned, slinging an arm over Scaramouche’s shoulder. “I suppose you have no choice but to share a bed with us.”
“No.” Scaramouche picked up his luggage and started rolling away. “Heizou, Kazuha, Aether, you share the king.”
The three men turned to you instead, surprise visible in their expressions. It was exactly because Scaramouche decided to share a room with you, whom he never acknowledged since you arrived.
You wanted to protest. If Scaramouche didn’t recognize you and opted for a choice that didn’t involve sharing a room with anyone, you’d rather sleep on the floor in Kazuha and the others’ room. But Scaramouche was already stepping inside the elevator and was holding the door for you.
You held your gaze to the floor the entire time as Scaramouche pointed at a room and told the three they would sleep there. Scaramouche flashed the card against the door of your room, then stepped inside.
“This one’s ours,” Scaramouche said. You couldn’t detect any hint of emotion.
The room was bigger than the two rooms at your apartment. It had two beds, as Scaramouche said, and a TV across. The room was cold as fuck. You shuddered, and Scaramouche remained unbothered with his layers of clothes that probably cost more than you.
As Scaramouche set his luggage on the bed closest to the window, you gathered the courage to not make this trip any more awkward.
You breathed in deeply. “I’m Y/N—”
“I haven’t forgotten.” He arched an eyebrow as he sat on the edge of his bed, staring at you. “Have you forgotten about me?”
“No, no, of course not,” you said. “I could never forget you, Kunikuzushi.”
You stiffened, thinking it was a mistake and there must’ve been a reason he was called by another name, but you took a look at him and got distracted. His face relaxed when you said his name.
I could never forget you. It was sickeningly true. You can never forget about Kunikuzushi. He was your first love. He was so cute with his wide eyes; and he was very clingy, too, which made him all the more endearing.
But looking at the present Kunikuzushi, with his intense stare and permanently bored expression, he was hot, and you started to think that maybe your type was just Kunikuzushi.
Horror settled in your stomach as Scaramouche flashed a wicked grin.
“Then you wouldn’t mind sleeping with me, would you?”
“He said what?” Heizou cackled, hitting the wall as he threw his head back, laughing.
Scaramouche meant it as sleeping in the same room, but he could have— no, should have worded it better. Scaramouche laid down on his bed right after and went on his phone as if he didn’t say anything at all. You blurted some half-baked excuse and left the room to cry about it in your friends’ room.
When Scaramouche said their room was assigned a king bed, you didn’t expect it to fit five people—and Scaramouche said he wanted it for himself? The bed was incredibly big, almost in a lonely way. You have never seen an Alaskan king bed before, but now, sitting on the edge of it, felt as if you could fit your entire apartment on it.
Kazuha was in between Heizou and Aether, their backs resting on the headboard. They were about to sleep, too, but as soon as you burst in, they settled into position and listened intently. Except Aether, kind of; he was texting his sister, who was demanding a room tour.
“I never thought he would be this bold. I mean, demanding to share a room the moment he laid his eyes on you? Wow,” Heizou said, looking terribly criminal with his expression.
“It is surprising,” Kazuha mused. “I’ve witnessed how women flock to his feet and how he bat them all off like he never saw them.”
An unpleasant feeling washed over, which was weird because why would you be upset? Of course they’d flock to him—with a face like that. He had the looks and the personality that would garner him a lot of masochistic fans if he were a character in a drama.
“Does that happen a lot?” The way you spat it out spelled exactly how upset you are.
“No need to get so jealous, now. After that display, I’m positive that he wants as much as you want him,” Heizou laughed, falling forward and resting his elbows on the mattress. He moved his chin to his palm. He looked like he was going to ask if you wanted to paint nails and curl hairs the next second.
Your face felt hot. What was this conversation? You’d much prefer painting nails than talking about this. “I don’t want him!”
Heizou arched an eyebrow. “No?”
Even Kazuha looked doubtful, which was enough of a blow.
“I’m just confused,” you insisted. “You know what happens when you’re in a room alone with an objectively attractive guy? You get confused.”
“I get it,” Aether said, setting his phone aside to share his insight. “This is your sexual awakening.”
“What? No!”
“It definitely is,” Heizou agreed. “Why else are you crying about this to us?”
There was a sense of impending doom at realizing that Heizou was brewing some horrible, horrible thoughts in that head of his. “To stop feeding into my madness!”
Heizou clicked his tongue. “How do you think he feels? His childhood best friend came back to his life looking like that—I’m surprised he hasn't eaten you right up yet.”
You didn’t know what was more horrifying: Heizou implying he thought you were hot, or him implying that he thought Scaramouche thought you were hot.
Your face must’ve looked like a constipated mix between flustered and horrified; Kazuha chimed in to tell Heizou, “You should be more careful with your words. I’ve never met anyone as possessive as Scaramouche.”
“It’s already a miracle he even remembers me. He wouldn’t get jealous. I doubt he actually wants me that way,” you sighed.
“Oh, but you want him that way?” Heizou asked.
You wanted to slap that expression off Heizou’s face. “Of course I do. He was so cute when we were little—I already liked him then. I didn’t think he’d grow up to be so…”
“Sexual awakening,” Aether said again.
“Ow,” Aether whined when you hit him square on the head.
Reluctantly, you returned to your room. Heizou, Kazuha, and Aether told you to get your shit together and face this not-sexual-awakening like a man. Kazuha didn’t say it, but you could feel that he was also thinking it. And if he ever said it out loud, you’d tell him to go fuck off to Liyue already.
Scaramouche was awake. The door clicked shut, and you faintly felt like those heroines locking themselves up in a room to hook up with someone who they didn’t think was the murderer on the front page right now.
“Where did you go?” he asked.
You tried not to let your surprise show, but Scaramouche was staring so intently that you would’ve failed miserably either way. “The other room.”
The longer you looked at him, the more you realized that Kunikuzushi felt like a fever dream. Being only a few feet away from the guy you used to be so fond of, now grown and had an air of haughtiness that would’ve been a turn-off had it been anyone else— it was doing things to you.
“Are you scared of me?”
You laughed and nearly choked on it when registering that Scaramouche was still looking. It wasn’t something like embarrassment. It was more like laughing unabashedly and then sensing that your hallway crush walked past. Maybe it was a bit of embarrassment.
“No. No, I’m not scared.” You moved to sit on your bed, eyes trained on the wall. “You didn’t tell me you were back.”
“You changed your number. You moved out.”
“Oh.” You did do that. Your apartment was very far from your home.
“And I figured you forgot about me or wanted to forget about me because of what I did to you.”
“Oh.” You wanted to say that he didn’t affect you that much. Life goes on; you meet new people and lose them every day, and all that. But Scaramouche was affecting you that much, especially when he’s only a few feet away from you, looking like he wanted you to pounce him.
Scaramouche grinned lopsidedly. “But I guess I don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
What the hell does that mean? Your heart skipped a beat. Did he figure it out? Were you that obvious with your thoughts about pouncing?
Scaramouche stood up from his bed, moving towards yours slowly. “Are you seeing anyone right now?”
You tried to avoid getting too close by leaning back, but he kept drawing his face closer, bending towards you. You’re one last tilt away from him pinning you down on the bed.
“No,” you blurted before you could even think about it. It was a little difficult to think about anyone else when you were a breath away from kissing. “Why?”
Scaramouche’s eyes narrowed, electric indigo. “Do you still have a crush on me?”
“You’re asking too many questions.”
“We’re catching up. This is how it works, doesn’t it?”
No, it was definitely not how this worked. Your neck was starting to ache with this awkward angle, and he hadn’t even answered your question.
“Do you?” he repeated, hovering above you.
You gave up on the painful angle and laid flat on the bed, frowning up at him. You crossed your arms to achieve the stance of someone who will not back down easily. “How are you so sure I even had a crush on you?”
“You’re telling me I’m wrong?”
What was this? Some fucked up game of 21 questions, but Scaramouche was too high and mighty to follow the rules? You didn’t know what to say to that. You wisely decided to stay silent, glaring up at him.
You probably didn’t look intimidating at all. Scaramouche smiled, much less sharper. Almost fond as his eyes flicked down to somewhere below your nose. “Am I still the only one for you?”
Okay. You would back down easily if he kept looking at you like that.
“You didn’t hurt me, Kuni.” You sighed. “You never could.”
Scaramouche straightened, his face carefully blank. It was much harder to read him like this. You sat up, wanting to ask if it was the wrong thing to say. You couldn’t get the words out because he lunged for a kiss.
You might have gasped. You might have made some embarrassing noise while a laugh rumbled from the back of Scaramouche’s throat. But that was all thrown out the window the moment your eyes fluttered shut and you lost yourself in the sensation of his warm mouth on yours.
He pushed closer, and you were pulled back on the mattress, his arms on either side of your head. Your eyes flew open when Scaramouche nipped at your lip. As if suddenly remembering where and who you were, you forced his chest back and gaped.
“What?” He looked irritated you interrupted him.
“At least say it back!”
“You didn’t even say it,” Scaramouche said, one eyebrow raised.
“I like you, Kunikuzushi.”
Scaramouche turned red and then looked humbled that you saw it. “I still like you, too.”
You looked at him up and down. You asked, but you didn’t want to hear the answer. “And you didn’t have anyone while you were in Sumeru?”
“Of course not,” Scaramouche scoffed. “You think anyone there was worth my time? You think I’d settle for less than you?” He scowled. “How about you? Nevermind, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know. I’d do it better than any of them.”
You laughed, tugging him close with your arms around his neck. If anyone were to come in, they would assume the worst. Then again, maybe Scaramouche had plans to indulge in the worst.
wake up! let’s eat breakfast at the restaurant we saw yesterday!
ask scaramouche. so he can pay for us
Despite the freedom and space of lying on separate queen beds, you and Scaramouche were huddled and pressed close. And despite books in your bag, you were occupied with huddling and pressing close against Scaramouche. You were lying on his chest while he had an arm resting on your stomach.
As soon as Heizou’s texts appeared on the top banner of your screen, you looked up, and Scaramouche looked like he was going to murder someone.
“It’s a joke, probably,” you said. “They don’t see you as a wallet.”
“It’s not a joke,” Scaramouche said. “I don’t really care about that. You and Heizou close?”
“He’s the one who introduced me to Kazuha and the others.” You sat up from the comfortable position and stretched.
“So you’re close.”
“Oh, very much so.” Then you laughed at Scaramouche’s thunderous expression. “Idiot. Why are you jealous? He’s not the one I’m sharing a room with and was making out with last night.”
Scaramouche’s gaze cut down to your neck. He looked extremely pleased.
You and Scaramouche took the elevator down, holding hands throughout. You felt a little giddy. What must this look like to everyone else? They’d all assume you were out with your boyfriend. As you reached your friends, Aether had just started the car. Kazuha slipped into the passenger seat, and Heizou waved at the both of you.
Then Heizou gasped. Aether turned to you and gasped as well.
“What happened to you? You look like you were mauled by a tiger,” Aether asked, scandalized.
“If the tiger had a short hime cut and a thick wallet, maybe,” Heizou mused. You flipped him off and climbed inside the car. Heizou laughed and sat beside you.
Aether frowned. “What kind of tiger would that be?”
You groaned, burying your face in your palms and wishing that lightning would strike you down. You needed coffee. Or a beer. Maybe if you bat your eyelashes and kissed him on the lips, Scaramouche would buy you bottles of wine.
As if summoned by your thoughts, a figure forced himself in between you and Heizou. Scaramouche worked fast. He glared at Heizou and tugged you away from him.
Heizou’s eyes went wide. “What’d I do?”
“Know your place, Shikanoin,” Scaramouche said. You just wanted to at least not be half-sitting on his lap, but he was proving a point and didn’t let you budge.
Kazuha smiled. “I warned you, Heizou.”
“Damn,” Heizou said. He looked exhausted. He was the one who suggested you and Scaramouche hook up in the first place—did he not expect his intuition to be right this time? “Didn’t take you for the clingy type. Two more days of this?”
“This is not some fling,” Scaramouche hissed. “You think I don’t take this seriously?”
You smiled as your heart fluttered. Scaramouche could be so unintentionally sweet sometimes, not that you’d tell it to his face, because he would grumble and hide his face. You rather liked his face. It was pretty, and you knew that if you tugged his hood down, you’d see a bruise on his neck as well.
“Didn’t take him for a romantic as well,” Kazuha said, thoroughly entertained.
“Wait, are you actually a thing now?” Aether made a face. “What the hell happened in that room?”
Scaramouche smirked. “You sure you wanna know?”
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a/n it was already so hard for me to not turn it into a heizou fic dude. That entire first part was so unnecessary i was just hopelessly infatuated. BUT ANYWAY!!1 thank you so much for reading i hope u liked it <3 if u do, leave a comment or a reblog so i can see your thoughts :DD
also, another note: on the day i wrote this fic the insta acc of scara didnt exist. so if it does by the time youve read this fic, its pure coincidence and i have nothing to do w it. or maybe i did, because i came up w the name HAHA
2K notes · View notes
livwritessometimes · 2 months
Text
I LOVE YOU!
: Part 11 (Oscar's Version)
: It's bout time Oscar comes clean about his feelings
: Prev | Next
: Series Masterlist
: Main Masterlist
: author’s note - I almost had a heart attack!!! this fic was scheduled and it did not release and it wasn’t showing in the scheduled section and I almost lost it
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“Oscar??” Y/n said, confused, as she made her way towards the man in front of her. 
“What are you doing here?” She asked as she finally got a better view of the comp science major standing under the lights that cast a soft glow on his face. 
"Y/n," Oscar said, a hint of nervousness laced his voice. "I'm glad you came!" he said.
"Wait, are you the one who left that message??" Y/n asked. Not bothering to wait for a reply, she continued, "How did you even do that? Wasn't Mr. Stella working on it? So how did you even get the chance to change that? Unless you were working on it with him. Is that what you were doing? Why? First you ignore me, keep on making excuses, ditch me to hang out with another girl, and then when I get someone else to help me with this, you go behind my back and work on it?? How does that even make sense? Osc-" Her ramble was cut short with Oscar suddenly shouting, "Stop! Y/n, would you please stop for the love of God and let me explain?" 
The girl instantly fell silent, waiting for the boy to continue. "Yes, I changed the form so that you could get the coordinates. I had gone to Mr. Stella and begged him if I could work on the form and finish what I had started with you," Oscar said.
"Why? Why would you do all that? Because I told you I don't need your help? Is that why you decided to call me here late at night? and for what?" Y/n said, feeling herself get teary-eyed by the sudden outburst of emotions. "Do you not want me to do well in the assignment? Is that what this is because if that is why you are doing all of this Oscar Piastri, I swear to god?" 
"I did this because I LOVE YOU," Oscar blurted out; he could not take it any longer. He could not keep his mouth shut and watch the girl he loves think he did all of this out of spite.
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Y/n felt her heart stop. This was not what she was expecting when she left her house today in hopes of finding the person behind the mysterious message. "What??" Y/n said, in fact, that was all she could get herself to say.
"I love you; I have for a while now. Daniel had texted me one day saying that he's happy to see me happy with you, and I freaked out. I know that this was no excuse for me ignoring you, and I'm really sorry for that. But I didn't know how else to react," Oscar said, staring down at the ground, refusing to look at Y/n. 
"I've never felt like this; all my life I never felt like the need to be with someone, and so I never bothered with it. But the more time we spent together for the project, the more I realized that I did not want it to end. And so I started to make excuses just so we could spend more time working on the project. But I didn't realize that doing so would make it end sooner," he said. "Lily was just working with me on one of our assignments; I never thought you'd think that I was dating her. I never meant for things to get so complicated between us. I understood your decision to work with my professor, and I'm sorry I went behind your back to work on the project. Please don't get angry with him; he was very hesitant to let me do this in the first place. I just hope that we can still be friends." Oscar finally finished and looked up at Y/n.
Both Y/n and Oscar had taken a seat at one of the chairs kept outside, and for a good five minutes no words were exchanged between the two. Suddenly, Y/n got up and said, "I'm sorry, Oscar, but I have to go," and without waiting for him to reply, Y/n walked out of the cafe.
Leaving a confused and heartbroken Oscar behind.
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Tags: @regalbanshee | @be-your-coffee-pot | @mrsbrxkkxr | @princessria127 | @moonraysandstars | @prettiest-at-the-party | @theblueblub | @magixpracticality | @slytherinholland | @overlyexcitedoutlaw | @marvel-at-stucky | @crumbssss | @a-beaverhausen | @felicityforyou | @gigigreens | @jas0nluvr | @khaylin27 | @imsiriuslyreal | @cwiphswmwasohmm | @wobblymug | @e-nonsense | @raizelchrysanderoctavius | @brekkers-whore | @vintagefucksstuff | @aexitizen-ln4 | @redstappen | @iamred-iamyellow | @tsireyasgf | @ghost-of-student-sufferings | @saachiep81 | @lozzamez3 | @ravisinghs-wife | @elizamoe133 | @anthonylockwoodandco111 | @formulaal | @luvsforme | @annabellelee | @a-disturbing-self-reflection | @emryb | @grovelingmen | @illicit-affcirs | @iwilleatyourgod | @youre-on-your-ownkid | @originaldreamerdragon | @landorris | @mountvesuvu | @chezmardybum | @littlegrapejuice | @spitesfvl-blog | @juleshadalittlelamb | @vicurious28 | @niyu2208 |
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7ndipity · 4 months
Text
He Forgets Your Birthday
Yoonig x Reader
Summary: You’ve always had a complicated relationship with your birthday, but Yoongi’s always there to comfort you. Until he isn’t.
Word Count: 1.3k
Warnings: angst, comfort, swearing, suggestive at the end
A/N: Thanks to @coffeedepressionsoup for this request, I hope you like it!
Masterlist
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You never really liked your birthday.
For as long as you could remember, you could sense the looming feeling of dread and unease each year as the date drew closer. You don’t know what it was exactly, maybe it was because of how you were raised, maybe it was just a quirk of your personality, but whatever the reason, you could never shake the feeling of guilt, as if you were a burden to those around you.
Over the years though, you had been lucky enough to find a circle of people that, while they might not fully understand your feelings on the subject, made a point to make sure you felt special and remind you of how much they cared for you whenever that fateful day rolled around.
One of the best at this was Yoongi.
Yoongi had always had a particular knack for being able to read your emotions and understood your feelings about your birthday, he wasn’t exactly fond of his either, but that didn’t stop him from worrying whenever he noticed you growing more quiet and withdrawn as it approached.
He never pressured you to share what was going on in your mind in those times, but he always found little ways to let you know that he was there for you and to show how much he loved you.
It was never anything super elaborate; last year, the two of you just went to the movies, because he knew there was a particular film you’d been dying to see.
It never really mattered to you what you did though, so long as you were together, you were happy.
Though, time together had been rather hard to come by the past few months.
Yoongi had been busier than ever, traveling and working relentlessly in preparation for his new album. Most nights he was holed up at the studio til 2 or 3 in the morning working on songs.
You worried about him over extending himself, but he assured you that he had it all under control, that he was able to keep up with everything.
It was another one of those late nights at the studio as he sat hunched over his soundboard when the sound of his phone finally managed to break through his hyperfocus.
Glancing at his phone, he face pulled into a slight frown as he read the text notification from Namjoon.
“How’s Y/n?”
“Fine, I think. Why??” He sent back, confused by the random question.
“Idk, she just seemed a bit down earlier when I sent a happy b-day msg”
“Her birthday’s not till tomorrow-
”Oh fuck.” He swore out loud, checking the date on with a sink stomach as he realized his horrible mistake.
Jumping to his feet, he felt his heart drop again at the sight of the time on his phone screen.
10:02pm.
“Fuck.” He cursed again, nearly running down the hall to the elevators. He couldn’t believe he’d mixed up the days so badly. How could he have fucked up something like this?
Had you realized yet? Most likely, he hadn’t heard anything from you since your usual morning texts. You must’ve been so upset, how was he ever going to make up for this to you?
He practically ran up the stairs to your apartment, knocking frantically on the door and begging that you weren't so mad that you wouldn't answer.
As soon as you opened the door, he tackled you in a crushing bear hug.
“Yoongi, what-?”
“I’m so sorry, Y/n.” He mumbled into your neck.
“What are you talking about?” You asked.
“Your birthday.” He felt you stiffen slightly.
Pulling away to look at you, his heart broke further as he noticed the faint redness around your eyes.
“I got the days mixed up, I thought it was tomorrow,” He explained guiltily. “I’m so sorry, Jagi.”
You looked down, nodding slowly.
“It’s okay.” You said softly, voice still somewhat croaky from your earlier bout of crying.
“It’s not, though. I should’ve been here.” He said, growing more upset with himself.
“You’ve been busy, I get it.”
“That's no excuse,” He said. “I still fucked up.”
“It’s fine, Yoongi, really.” You said tiredly, wanting desperately to just forget the whole thing.
“No, it isn’t-” He insisted, gripping onto your hand as you tried to draw away.
“Yoongi, please.” The last word comes out far more broken than you intended it to, betraying your true emotions that you’d been trying to stamp down all evening.
Before you could help it, the tears you had been trying to hold back broke free, dripping down your cheeks and onto your joined hands.
Yoongi instantly pulled you to his chest, hugging you tightly as he backed the two of you into your apartment.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Jagi.” He whispered over and over, softly stroking your hair as your tears dampened his shirt.
After a few minutes once your sobs quieted, he pulled back to see your face.
“Are you okay?” He asked gently.
You nodded.
He led you over to the couch, still keeping you close as you sat silently for a moment.
“Are you angry?” He asked quietly.
You shook your head, biting your lip.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.” He pleaded, his dark eyes boring into your own.
You thought for a moment, taking a deep, steadying breath.
“I know that you love and care about me” You began slowly. “And I know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, but… not hearing from you, not even getting a text or something… I don’t know, it just kinda stirred up those old feelings and thoughts of how easily I could be forgotten, what if people don’t actually like me, what if they just tolerate me in their lives...”
Your voice was almost inaudible by the end, not wanting to fully admit the deprecating thoughts that were going through your mind.
Yoongi teared up at your words. He knew he’d asked, but hearing you say it aloud broke his heart; to know he’d scratched those old wounds and caused you to doubt yourself crushed him inside.
“Look at me,” He said seriously, turning to face you. “Those thoughts? Nothing could be further from the truth. You mean more to me than anything in the fucking world. I know I fucked up today, but I need you to know that there is nothing that could ever make me forget about you. You are the first and last thought in my mind every single day. Understand?”
You nodded, wiping away a few more stray tears that had slipped out.
“C’mere.” He pulled you into another tight embrace, kissing your temple. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” You muttered, tucking your face in the crook of his neck.
“If you want, we could still do something? Try and enjoy the last couple hours of the day, at least?” He offered
You shook your head. “I just want to be with you.”
He nodded, shifting around on the couch and pulling you onto his lap, holding you close.
“I love you.” He whispered again, running his soothing hands over your hips.
“I know.” You said, equally soft, cradling his face in your hands as you drew him in to connect your lips.
He kissed you deeply, trying to channel just how much you meant to him through the action, hands coming up to hold your waist, pressing you even closer.
He would never hurt you like this again, he swore to himself, pressing you closer to him. He would do everything in his power to remind you how much you meant to him every chance he got.
You sighed, looping your arms around his neck as you let yourself drift in the feeling of him all around you, the scent of his cologne, the soft sounds that left him as his lips drifted down the expanse of your throat, the way his hips twitched beneath you when you tugged at his hair.
Suddenly, he tipped you back on the couch, coming to hover over you, breathing unsteady as he stared down at you with an intensity that made you shiver.
“Happy birthday, Y/n.”
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @comingupwithacoolnameishard @bo0o0o0ooo @universal-travel-er @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
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samandcolbyownme · 6 months
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Summary: Reader accepts Zach's invitation about coming onto the podcast, despite going through a hard time. 
Warnings: there won't be smut in this (I can always do a part 2), but there will sexual innuendos and other things that make it feel like it belongs in this book, kinda sad beginning, swearing, joking around, reader is good friends with Zach and Jared, reader feeling sad/down, long distance relationship? possible angst? 
I will be using some actual dialogue from their videos, but most of it will be from me. 
Word count: 6.3k | not edited
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
It's been a few weeks since you and Sam sat down and had a long discussion about your relationship. 
You both agreed that it was best you "cut things off'' until things start to settle down - but you both didn't know when that was going to happen. 
No matter how hard you tried, your schedules were always packed. You were flying to one state on the other side of the county. 
Sam was flying to the opposite. 
It didn't really make sense, because things really didn't change romantically, you still said I love you. You still FaceTimed when you could. 
It's just, everything was always over the phone. 
Through texts, phone calls, pictures. 
You haven't seen each other since the night Sam left with Colby to do their overseas haunted tour thing that they've been planning for months. 
That was three weeks ago, and it's killing you - both. 
You both agreed that you need to give both of your lives all you got, and that's where it made sense. Putting your careers first, getting ahead so you have time to plan out the future together. 
You hated it. Absolutely despised it, but you truly believed that if your love was real, and you truly believed it was.. 
It will always contain the habit of coming back. 
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You hugged Sam tight, not wanting to let him go. His arms stayed around you, chin rested on your head as he basked in the last moments you had together before he had to fly to Romania. 
Then to Spain. 
Then Ireland. 
It was going to be non stop. 
"Hey." Sam whispers, "I love you." You sniffle, mumbling into his chest, "I love you." He slides an arm over your shoulder, tilting your tear soaked face up to look at him. 
He smiles slightly, biting his lip to hold back his own tears, "I don't care how complicated things gets. I still want you." 
You nod, "Always your girl." 
He kisses your forehead, "Always my girl." 
You can tell he nods, meaning Colby has signaled him, and you let out a sigh, "Let me know when you land." 
"You know I'll update you any chance I get." He pulls you into a hug, squeezing tight, "I love you. I love you so much." 
You try your hardest not to cry, but you can't help it and sob into his chest, "I love you." 
He cups your cheek, kissing you deeply before leaning back, "I don't want to, but I gotta go."
"Go." You smile, "But don't have too much fun." You laugh slightly before it quickly turns into crying again and you fight it, "I'm sorry." 
He shakes his head, "Never be sorry." He kisses you one last time, "Wait for me." 
You nod, turning around to see Colby standing behind you, "Safe travels." You reach up, wrapping your arms around Colby's neck and he hugs you tight, "It'll be okay." 
You nod, leaning back, "I know." You wipe your face, watching as Sam and Colby walk towards the gate. 
Sam smiles slightly, giving you one last wave before he walks through. 
Once he's out of your sight, you cover your face, absolutely breaking down and you didn't care that it was in the middle of the airport. 
Your friend walks up, wrapping her arms around you, "You guys are inevitable." 
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"I have to go in like ten minutes, we're getting ready to head to our next place." Sam says from the other end of the phone. 
You pout totally forgetting about the time difference, "Okay." 
"Hey " Sam tilts his head, "Don't do that." 
"I'm not doing anything. I've mastered waiting until we hang up." You laugh and he sighs, "Girl. You're going to kill me." 
"If I was going to do that, I would have done it before you left." 
You've been coping with jokes and humor. You were still absolutely dying inside with not being able to lay with him. Kiss him. Hug him. 
It was still eating away at you, but, as said, you've just mastered it with humor. 
"Part of me wishes you did." Sam mumbles with a laugh, "This is hell." 
You sigh quietly, sitting up as you rest your chin in the palm of your hand, "I know." You smile as you think about what your friend said, "But just remember that we're inevitable." 
"Damn right." Sam smiles and you hear Colby yell at him, "Alright, enough with the phone sex. The car's here." 
You laugh as you watch Sam's mouth drop and he pans his phone over his fully clothed in layers body, "Does it look like I have my d-" 
"I don't need to know what nasty shit you guys are in to." Colby laughs and you sigh, "Alright. I love you." 
You see the phone get ripped out of Sam's hand and Colby's face appears suuuper close to the camera, "I love you, too." 
You shake your head, laughing, "oh my god." 
Sam gets his phone back and he smiles, "Talk later?" 
You nod, "You know it. Be safe. Good luck!" 
Sam smiles, "Yes ma'am." He salutes you, "Alright, I love you." You smile, "I love you." 
The call ends and you feel that sudden rush of, once gated, emotions hit you all at once. You fall into the bed, specifically on Sam's side and take a deep shaky breath, "Fuck." 
You lay a pillow over your face and lay there for a second, taking yourself down from crying. 
Your phone dings and you hesitate for a second before you toss the pillow next to you and search for your phone. 
A laugh leaves your lips as you see a message from your friend, Zach Justice, Hey sweet cheeks. Come on the podcast. 
You click on it, typing out, oh now you want me to come on? 
You take a screenshot and send it to Sam. You stare up at the ceiling as you wait for a response from either one, trying to convince yourself that what you're going through, is going to benefit your future with Sam. 
Together. 
You bring your phone up, rolling your eyes at Zach's response, Not so much me, but the people in the comments. Your name is infesting every video I post. 
Infesting? That's a.. weird way of putting it lol. I'll see if I can squeeze you in to fit in my busy, busy schedule. 
Your friendship with Zach has always been playful banter, ever since you met, but he's always there for you. 
You haven't said anything to him, or Jared, about your current situation with Sam, but you know that just going on the podcast would definitely help you get through this easier. 
You bring your phone back up and laugh as what Zach had to say, So kind of you to consider hanging out with me. 
You laugh, I know, I can be sooo nice. I'll come if you buy me a plane ticket. 
And pick me up from the airport, with donuts. 
You see the message change from delivered to read and his face pops up on your screen. You take a deep breath and hit answer, "You couldn't have just texted me?" 
"Donuts you say? You must be really going through it." 
You laugh, "You have no idea." 
"Does this have anything to do with Sam?" He raises his brows when you don't answer him and he hums, "Thought so." 
"We're.. together but we're not together? If that makes any kind of sense. I don't know. We both agreed that our schedules are too much for us to be labeled as a couple right now, so we just, agreed to put more focus on the business of our lives?" You shake your head, "I'm just.. feeling a lot." 
"Yeah, you're totally coming on the podcast." He laughs, "I'll get your plane ticket." You can tell he's focused on something else and you laugh, "I was joking. I can get my-"
"Done." 
"Zach." You laugh, "I don't even know when I'm free." 
"Well, you better be free next Thursday." He smiles, giving you a wink, "See you then." 
"Don't.. wink at me. That's weird." 
"Ugh" he groans dramatically, "Sorry." He smiles, "See you next Thursday, I'll send you the deats." He winks and hangs up before you can yell at him again. 
You see a message from Sam and your attention shifts as you read what he says, You should definitely do it, babe. I think it would be good for you. 
You tap the screen, Zach really didn't give me a choice. He bought my plan ticket for me already so now I have to move stuff around, but I agree. 
Your eyes move up to the time, groaning lowly as you realize just how late it is. You remembered you have a meeting for a brand deal within the next four hours, so you reach over, turning off your lights so you can try and get at least a little bit of sleep. 
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Why'd he have to get such an early flight, you think as you zip your suitcase closed. You lift it off the bed and set it upright on the floor before replacing the spot on the bed with your body. 
The last two days, Sam and Colby have been camping in a place they don't have service, so you haven't talked to him. 
Your phone dings and you lift in hopes that it's Sam, but it's Zach, On your way to the airport? 
You laugh quietly, You act like you're exited to see me or something, but soon. Waiting on my friend to get here to take me. 
Your friend texts you, letting you know that she's there and you get a move on, pulling the handle from your case and wheeling it behind you as you walk out to the living room. 
She comes in, "You ready?" 
You look over at her, "Yeah I just have to grab my headphones, they've been charging." She nods, "You doing okay?" 
You shrug, "I mean, yeah. For the most part." You laugh slightly, "As good as I can be." 
"Where did he say they were camping again?" She crosses her arms and you look at her, "Some.. demonic forest? I have no idea. If I don't hear from him by tomorrow I'm sending a search and rescue team." 
She laughs, "No I don't blame you." She walks over, grabbing the handle of your bag as you stuff your headphones into your carry on, "I know how Zach is, and he's a jokester.. are you going to be alright?" 
You nod, "I talked to Zach about everything last week, I told him that joking is my way to cope, so I gave him the green light." 
"I can't wait for this to come out. I just know it's going to be better than the others." She laughs and you nod, "Oh you know it." 
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
Walking into the airport was almost like you were reliving that day with Sam all over again. Luckily, you had to go to a different gate in a different part of the building, which really made it a lot easier in the long run. 
"Well. I'll see ya in a day or two." You lean in, hugging your friend, "Thank you." 
She squeezes you, "Don't need to thank me. Have a good flight." 
You nod, "I'll try. I'll text you when I land." 
You turn, walking up to the lady to hand her your ticket. She smiles, "Hi, y/n. I have to tell you, my daughter is a huge fan of yours." 
"Awe." You smile, "You'll have to tell her I said thank you.
The lady nods, "I will." She smiles, "Safe travels, y/n." 
You smile and walk in, turning back to wave to your friend before boarding the plane. 
You sit down in your seat, checking your phone to see if Sam texted - but no message. You sigh, unfolding your headphones and slipping them over your ears. 
You've been on enough planes to know the routine. 
After pressing play for your music to play, you send a quick text to Zach, letting him know that you boarded and should be there in about two to three hours. 
Your flight feels longer than it should be. It felt like time was dragging by as slow as it could possibly go. 
But once you land and are able to exit, you practically bolt to the baggage claim. 
I got my bags, where are you? 
You look around, waiting to either see Zach or hear back from him. 
Moments later, he texts, Standing in front of the Starbucks. Someone didn't send me their gate number so I figured I'd treat myself to cheer myself up. 
You laugh, grabbing your bag as you type with your thumb, you're ridiculous, did you at least get me one? 
Zach replies, No why would I do that? 
You roll your eyes and walk to the Starbucks, smiling as you see him holding two coffees, "You did in fact do that." 
He turns, smiling as he opens his arms to hug you, "Yeah yeah, don't ruin it."
You step back, taking the coffee he hands you, "Ready?" He nods, "right this way, sweet cheeks." 
"You just going to keep coming up with new nicknames each time you talk to me?" You laugh and he stares at you, "Um, yeah. That's what I've been doing? Right?" 
You roll your eyes, "What are you going to do when you run out of nicknames? Recycle the old ones." 
He laughs, "Boy are you funny. Listen here." He stops pointing to his head and you tilt your head as you watch him tap his temple, "This baby can go for miles. Don't ever underestimate me." 
You hold your hand up in defense, "Message received, sweet cheeks." 
He gives you a look, trying not to laugh and he sighs, "Not cool." He laughs, turning to lead you to his car. 
The ride to the house was filled with small talk, mainly catching up and what not since it's been over a year since you've seen him last. 
Once there, you're greeted by Jared and Alyssa with hugs. 
"How was the flight?" Jared asks and you shrug with a laugh, "Long."
"Did you do your hair recently? It's so pretty." Alyssa plays with a stand and you nod, "Yeah I went after a meeting last week. I figured I needed a change or something." 
"You know, I think I seen it on Instagram." She laughs and Zach rolls his eyes, "girl talk, yuck. I'm not doing this." He walks over to sit down and puts his headphones on. 
He motions to the empty chair, "Are we doing this?" 
"I still don't have a choice do I?" You laugh and Zach sighs, "Now you're finally getting it."
You set your stuff down, walking over to sit on the red seat. You put your headphones on and look around as Jared and Alyssa get settled in. 
"We good?" Zach asks and looks at everyone, and you all nod. 
"What's up guys. Welcome to one ninety six of Dropouts." Zach starts in a loud, cheery sing songy tone, "Were here with the guest you've all been waiting for..." 
Jared gives Zach a drum roll and Zach looks at you, "Miss Y/n y/l/n." 
"Hi everybody." You smile, "Just to let everyone know, Zach didn't give me a choice to do this, so everyone should go flood his comments-" 
"No, cut that out. We're cutting that out." Zach tries not to laugh, "Listen. It only took how long for you to finally get here?" 
"She's a very busy girl, Zach." Jared laughs, "Speaking of.. Did I, or did I not, see that you're going to be on the next cover of vogue?" 
"You guys heard about that?" You smile and look at Alyssa and she claps for you, "Powerful woman." 
You smile and look at Zach, "Jealous?" 
Zach raises his brows, "That I'm not a woman? Please. I don't need anymore problems." He takes a deep breath, "Anyway. Besides that, I want to ask you a very serious question." 
You time your head, "That could be anything.." 
Zach fights back a smirk, "You seen, two or three episodes back that we had.. Sam, and Colby on here, right." 
Jared laughs, "Zach, where are you going with this?" 
"No where. Well. I mean." He laughs, "Somewhere, but just, wait. We aren't there yet." 
"Clearly." You and Alyssa say at the same time and you both laugh. 
Zach points between the two of you, "See. This is why I don't like having them both here, they like tag team me and not in the way any man would want to happen, ya feel me?" 
You roll your eyes, "Sam and Colby, your question." You laugh when he looks at you and he smirks, "You and Sam.. getting down and dirty yeah?" 
You laugh, "If you want to put it that way, I mean. Yeah, but not like.. recently." 
"Why's that?" Zach rubs his chin with his fingers and you shrug, "in the words of Jared, she's a very busy girl, Zach." 
"Mm, okay." He raises his brows and shakes his head, "Now another question I have for you.. and don't get mad at me for asking this, because if I'm correct, they confirmed this when they were here." 
You raise your brows, knowing exactly where this is going, "Mhm." 
"Did Sam leave the states to be with Colby officially because, now, this is what I was told, you threatened to turn Colby into a spirit himself?" Zach leans back and you stare at him for a few second before laughing, "Oh my god." 
"That's.." Jared laughs, "Who did you hear that from?" 
Zach makes a face, "Oh so now you're going to sit there and pretend like that isn't what you told me last night?" 
"Whoa, okay. No. Y/n. I didn't-" Jared laughs and Zach cuts in, "Oh, see. He can't deny it. His face is as red as the seats and he's starting to smell because he's so full of it." 
"What the fuck." Jared rolls his eyes and you sigh, leaning in towards the mic, "For the record, I have never threatened to turn Colby into a spirit." 
"But you aren't denying that they're married?" Zach tilts his head, pointing his finger at you, "But even then, you'd have to ward off Colby because I'm sure his spirit will just attach to Sam." 
"No that's little girl spirits." Jared laughs, emphasizing again, "Spirits. We've been over this with them. Please don't take that the wrong way." 
"Anyway." Zach shakes his head, "When's the last time you talked to either one of them?" 
You sigh, "Oh gosh. This will be day three, but I've already said, if I don't hear from him by the end of today I'm sending in a search and rescue team for their asses." 
"Oh gosh, that just.. wow." Zach sighs, "Can I just.. that just brought up something very serious and I need to say it, like right now." 
"Or what you'll explode?" Alyssa asks causing you and Jared to laugh. Zach looks over at her, "Can you just shut up for two seconds, I have something important I need to say." 
Alyssa raises her hands, fighting back her laughter. 
Zach looks at you and he takes a deep breath, "Now this.. might be hard for you to hear, as well for everyone else watching and, or listening.. but.." he looks into the camera, "If you wanna see me go retrieve Sam and Colby from." He pauses and looks at you, "Where are they right now?" 
You fight back laughter, "Camping in some demonic forest." 
He picks right back up, "Camping in a demonic forest, subscribe to the Patreon, you can see all of that plus stuff that's already happened." 
"You're.. insufferable." Jared shakes his head as he looks down and Zach just shrugs, "People like them. And if they know that I'm willing to help them, they'll like me, too. Okay. Moving on."
"So you literally got in today? Like your flight." Zach asks and you just stare at him. He cracks a smile, "What?"
"You're literally the one who picked her up from the airport, Zach." Jared laughs and you gasp, "Oh, and he brought me donuts like I said to last week and a coffee at the airport while he was waiting for me." 
"Hey hey hey." Zach says quickly, "Don't be telling everyone lies. You know I spit in your coffee before I gave it to you." 
"That's atrocious, Dude. What the fuck." Jared closes his eyes and shakes his head. You stare at Zach, "No you didn't." Zach shrugs, "The world may never know." 
"I don't know if I believe him, because I can totally see him doing that, just like to fuck with someone close to him." You laugh, "Oh god, I drank all of that, too. Did you really do that?" 
Zach sighs, nodding his head as he speaks, "No, I didn't." 
"See!" You point to him laughing, "You're a child."
Zach laughs, "Yeah and you're the queen of England." He pretends like he's using a gavel, "Case closed. So. Back to Sam and Colby.. Since you're so close with them, like have you gone on any investigations with them?"  
"I used to. Like right before my channel took off, I would go with them maybe twice a month?" You answer and Zach nods, "Is that why your channel blew up?" 
You can tell he's asking something that does relate to being touched or spoken to by a ghost, "Are you-" 
"Yes." Zach cuts you off and you laugh, "No. I didn't sell my soul. I'm pretty sure it's still there, I mean I don't know how to check but." 
Zach reaches over and feels your wrist, "Still there." 
"Zach." Jared bursts out laughing, "that's her pulse man, not her soul." 
Zach shrugs, "You never know. She may have turned into some sort of succubus demon thing that doesn't have a pulse but she has one. She's good." 
You roll your eyes and you can feel your phone vibrating in the pocket of your sweatpants, "I'm getting a call." 
"That the devil calling, he wants to return your souls." Zach says and you laugh, "That was good." You pull your phone out, not even hiding your happiness when you see Sam's name, "It's Sam." 
You push your one headphone off your ear and bring your phone up, "hey!" 
"We just got to service, are you okay?" Sam asks and you keep smiling, "Yeah I'm actually doing the podcast right now."
"Oh fuck, right now? I'm sorry." Sam says and you shake your head, "No, you're fine, how was it?" 
You look over at Zach and he wiggles his fingers, "Put him on speaker." You hold up one finger and continue to listen to Sam speak, "I'll have to FaceTime you later and show you. It was pretty nuts." 
"Oh god, yeah I'm sure. Zach wants me to put you on speaker so I'm going to do that here in a second." You take the phone away and tap the button, "Okay." 
"Is y/n a succubus?" Zach asks straight away, obviously catching Sam off guard, "What.. the fuck?" He laughs, "Is she a what?" 
"A demon. I mean I checked her pulse and she has one so I think we're good, but I figured I'd check in with the main ghost hunter because you'd know her better than any of us." 
"What kind of things are you talking about on the podcast?" Sam laughs and Zach sighs, "I guess you'll just have to wait and see when the video comes out." 
"Um.. okay." Sam laughs and you take him off speaker, "You're off speaker, now." 
"Yeah so give it to her good, Sammy my boy." Zach yells and you roll your eyes as Sam laughs, "There's something wrong with him." 
"Oh I know. But according to him, his brain can go for miles." 
"Y/n. What did I say about telling my secrets." Zach shakes his head and you shrug, "Sorry, that must have been the devil taking over." 
Zach raises his eyebrows, "Clearly." He nods, "Ask Sam if he got my text, since they now have service and what not." 
You relay the message and Sam takes a second to check, "Oh yeah, I got it." 
You nod to Zach, "Yeah, he got it." Zach nods, fighting back a smirk, "Cool, cool." 
"Why are you acting like that?" Jared asks and Zach tilts his head, "What do you mean?" Jared looks from him to you, "You're being.. more weird than usual." 
"I have my meter for weirdness and it sits right here." Zach holds his hand up, "and I haven't gone above that level since... Mm. Let say. Tuesday?"
"What's going on?" Sam asks and you laugh, "Oh Zach and Jared are arguing. Normal stuff, you know." 
Sam laughs, "Oh yeah. Typical." You hear him sigh and you know what's about to happen so you cut him off before he can say anything, "Talk later?" 
"You know it. I love you." Sam says and you smile, looking down, "I love you." 
The call ends and you look up, "Alright." 
"Alright, now we can get on with other things." Zach claps his hands together, "Are we still going out after this?" 
You raise your brows, "Out?"
Zach furrows his brows and looks from Jared to Alyssa, "Is your guy's stuff acting up?" He motions to his headphones and they both shake their heads no.
"Mines good, why is yours?" Jared asks and Zach shakes his head, "No, I'm just trying to make sure that y/n can hear me alright because out is exactly what I said." 
You roll your eyes, "Oh my god. Shut the fuck up." 
"I didn't know if you could hear me okay or not, was just double checking, jeeze. No need to be so aggressive." Zach tries not to laugh and you shake your head, knowing that no matter how much you try and talk yourself out of it, you'll still be going out. 
So you just sit back and accept your fate. 
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
Almost two hours later, the podcast comes to a close and you set your headphones down on the bench, "Is it just me, or did that podcast feel like it went longer than normal?" 
You look between Zach, Jared, and Alyssa. 
"I don't think it felt any different." Jared shakes his head and shrugs. Alyssa nods, "I think it went over just a little bit, but not much." 
You nod and Zach stands up, "That jet lag must be really doing a number on you." 
You shrug, "I don't know, but are we at least getting dinner because I haven't eaten since this morning."
"You are such a cry baby. Let's go." Zach laughs as he walks away and you scoff, following him out the door. 
You all pile into the car and start driving to the restaurant, "So where was Tara?" You ask leaning forward, "I texted her but I haven't gotten any answer from her." 
"She's like, really sick." Zach says, "I called her this morning and it sounded like she swallowed her phone." 
"Oh god, if she sounds that bad then she's probably sleeping it off." You lean back, looking down at your phone, "So what did you and Sam talk about?" 
You look up at Zach and he looks back at you in the rear view, "When did your name change to Nelly because you're awfully nosey." 
You laugh, "Fine then don't tell me. I'm sure he'll tell me anyway." 
"Yeah, he probably will." Zach turns into the parking lot and you roll your eyes, accepting that reverse psychology doesn't work on him. 
As you get out, you check your phone. You let out a sigh and slip it into your pocket before closing the door. 
"I don't know much about the situation.." Alyssa says as she walks over to you, ".. but I know that you and Sam are major endgame if you ask me." 
You smile, "Thanks. I just.. we talked about putting pause on our relationship and it's just so hard because the only thing that really changed was us making time for each other. I mean, it didn't really happen much lately anyway, but the fact that we just cut it all out in one shot.." you sigh, "I hate it." 
She nods, "I'm sure it's rough, but you both have great careers, and I promise that it'll work out in the end. It might not seem like it now, but it will." 
"Thank you." You take a deep breath, "I actually needed that." 
She smiles and rubs your back, "Come on, Zach is probably in there bitching." 
You laugh and roll your eyes, "Probably." 
You walk into the restaurant, making your way to the table that Jared and Zach are sitting at and Zach looks up, "So they didn't get kidnapped." 
"You can't get rid of us that easily." You laugh as you sit down, "So what's good here?" You look over at Alyssa and she explains some of her favorite dishes. 
Throughout dinner, you caught yourself checking your phone and your sadness grew each time you seen zero notifications from Sam. 
At this point, you wanted to go to a hotel and just sleep off your day. 
But that wasn't happening. 
"Why do you look more miserable than normal?" Zach asks and you look up at him, laughing slightly, "I'm just.. getting really tired." 
Wasn't a full lie. 
"Uh huh. Well you better wake up, because where we're going next will get your mind off, being tired." He tilts his head and you roll your eyes, "I hate that you know me." 
"You secretly love it. Now come on." He stands up, along with you and everyone else and you make your way out to the car. 
You're quiet for the most part, except for when they force you to join in on conversation. 
"When did you hear about Vogue?" Alyssa asks and you can't help but smirk, "I found out a few days ago. I kind of just waited, kept it to myself. It really didn't hit until Jared asked me about it." 
"So wait, the post that they made with your picture titled the next face of vogue didn't make it set in?" Jared asks and you shrug, "honestly, no." 
You laugh and sigh, "How much longer?" 
"We're here." Zach replies and you nod, looking out the window at the building, "So is this like a bar scene? I'm not dressed for that." You joke and Alyssa laughs, "You look fine, trust me. Your sweats were the way to go." 
"I am super comfortable." You laugh as you get out, not even bothering to check your phone. 
You follow them in, handing the bouncer your ID, letting him check it before making your way in. 
The music is loud and it's filled with a few faces that you've met before, not anyone you're really willing to sit down and have a conversation with, though. 
You walk up to the bar, ordering your drink as Alyssa does the same. 
"So don't.." she laughs, "Don't tell Zach I told you this, I mean, he'd kill me if he knew you knew this.." she pauses and you nod, smiling, "secret is safe with me." 
She leans in, "Zach is actually worried about you. He's afraid that you're working yourself too much and now he's worried that this whole Sam situation will break you." 
You're actually kind of surprised, but at the same time, you're not, "I kind of thought that when he called me that night instead of just texting me.. but I'm actually really happy to hear that from someone who's close to him each day." 
You take your drink, laying down your money, "keep the change." 
Alyssa does the same and looks to you, "Just let him think that he's doing something you don't know about. I don't want him firing me." 
"I won't let that happen." You laugh, "Thank you." 
She nods and you walk back towards Zach and Jared. Right as you walk up, Zach stands up and walks way, phone pressed to his ear and he doesn't say a word. 
You furrow your brows and point to him, "What was that all about?" 
Jared sighs, "Last minute cancellation for the podcast. He's not taking it good." 
"Oh gosh, who was it?" You sit down and Jared looks to Alyssa before he leans in, "Don't say anything, but it was the triplets." 
"Chris, Nick, and Matt?" You raise your brows, "Why'd they cancel?" 
Jared shrugs, "No idea, that's what Zach is trying to figure out." You pout, "oh gosh, I have Chris' number. I can text him and see-" 
"Alright. We're good to go." Zach comes back and sits down. You look over at him, "So the triplets are coming on? They're not canceling?" 
He looks between Jared and Alyssa before tilting his head, "You're not supposed to know.. so just.." he lowers his hand in reference to you lowering your voice and you nod, "Ahh." You lower your voice, "Gotcha." 
You sip your drink and pull your phone from your pocket as you feel it vibrate, "Oh. It's Tara." 
"What did she say?" Zach says and you read over her text, "Sorry I couldn't make it to the podcast. I was super sick this morning. I just now woke up, but I'm feeling a lot better, are you still in town? Would love to meet up with you before you leave again." 
"What's the name of this place? I'm going to text her where I'm at." You look up and Jared tells you the name before you shoot her back a text. 
"She said she'll be here in an hour." You put your phone back in your pocket and look down at your empty glass, "I'll be right back." 
You get up, walking up to the bar to get another drink.
"Are you okay?" Zach asks and you look over at him, "Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?" He shrugs, "I'm just.. asking. Jeeze. Can't a guy just ask a girl if she's okay?" 
You fight back a smirk, knowing that he really cares, "Yes, Zach. I'm fine, and you.. and Alyssa and Jared have all helped me get through the day without crying." 
"Good, because I really don't think I could handle you crying.." Zach laughs slightly, "Tara said she'll be here in an hour?" 
You nod, "Yeah, she has to get ready first, I guess." 
He nods, "Of course she does." 
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
"Mm." You set your glass down, "Tara's here." 
"She is?" Jared asks shocked and you look at him funny, "That's what I just said, isn't it?" 
Jared tilts his head, "You've been around Zach for too long." He laughs and stands up, "I'll go get her." 
"No I will. I haven't seen her in so long." You stand up, but the three follow you out anyway. You glance behind you, laughing slightly as you shake your head. 
You make your way to the door and look around, "Where is she?" 
You get a text from Tara, Patio, sorry I saw someone else I haven't seen in a while. 
You look at Zach, "She's on the patio." 
"To the patio we go." He points, leading you down the side of the building. You round the corner, seeing Tara standing there with a huge smile, "Ahh!" She yells as she runs towards you, "I've missed you!" 
"Hey!" You yell and hug her, "I've missed you!" You lean back, "You look so good!" 
"Same for you miss cover of vogue!" She pushes your shoulder, "How fucking amazing is that?!" 
You nod, "Pretty amazing." 
You feel a hand on your shoulder and you think it's just Zach pulling you away to pick on Tara, but when you turn, your heart falls into your stomach, "No fu-fucking way." 
Sam is standing there, a huge smile on his face, "I couldn't go without seeing you anymore." He pulls you in for a hug, face buried into your neck and the tears you've been holding in all damn day are finally let loose. 
"Hey. Hey, hey." He lays a hand on your head, shushing you quietly, "It's okay." He turns his head, pressing a kiss to your cheek, "I'm here." 
You're glued to him. You want to let go so you can lean back and look at him but your body just wants to hold him. 
"I'm taking time off. I'm traveling with you. I want to be with you." Sam whispers and you lean your head back, just enough to look at him, "Really?" 
He nods, "Really. You're more important than anything in the world. We're making this work. I'm going to make it work." 
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
The end feels kind of rushed, and I promised you guys this yesterday, but I've been battling a migraine attack non stop for the last four days, so I just wanted to get something out. 
A part 2 (with smut) is definitely in the brain for this, you know when I can get it to stop working against me. 
But as always, let me know how you liked it. Thanks for reading. I love you all! 🖤
likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
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helaintoloki · 1 month
Note
Hi! Id loved to request a viktor x fem!reader! Maybe where the reader has powers as well and joined the family just like lila, but she starting to madly crushing on viktor but is afraid/doesn't know how to confess? Or if he even likes her back. (I've been crushing on elliot for so long 🤧) thank you! hope this is okay.
a/n: this is my first time writing for viktor so please excuse any inaccuracies!
summary: despite thinking that your crush on Viktor is completely one-sided, you’re pleasantly proven wrong
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Your chin rests in the palm of your hand as you lean against the counter of the bar and watch from across the room as Viktor serves drinks and chats with his regulars. You take the time to admire his hair and wonder if he styled it differently today, and when he turns after sensing your stare and flashes a brief smile in your direction you find you stomach doing summersaults in return.
“You know you can just talk to him right?” Your fellow bartender Anne jests with a playful nudge to your ribs.
“I know that!” You scoff indignantly, your face heating with embarrassment at being caught ogling your friend and boss. “I just don’t want to bother him while he’s working is all.”
“You? Bother Viktor? The guy who personally asked you to start this bar with him? The same Viktor you share a place with?” She clarifies with a raised brow and feigned shock. You roll your eyes in displeasure at her teasing, but this only encourages her to continue. “I don’t get why you can’t just make a move already.”
“Because it’s complicated, okay?” You huff out in annoyance while defensively crossing your arms. “I just don’t want to mess everything up.”
You felt your insecurities of talking to Viktor about your harbored feelings for him were valid. Despite originally being a Sparrow, the Umbrella Academy had welcomed you into their group with open arms when you’d joined Sloane in becoming part of their team. Though Sloane hadn’t made it out of the elevator after you’d been transported to a new timeline, you had, and you swore you wouldn’t waste the chance at a new life in exchange for the universe’s mercy.
With the only other remaining Sparrow immediately bailing on your group, Viktor extended his kindness to you and offered for you to come with him on his fresh start. You had clicked rather quickly after joining the Umbrellas, so it only felt natural to follow him. You worked to get an apartment together, helped him start up his bar, and now you two lived a peaceful life free of any powers or family drama. It was a nice routine to fall into; you just didn’t expect that you’d also fall for him in the process.
And now here you were, working another shift at the bar while pathetically pining over a man who probably didn’t return your feelings. You’d never dare voice your feelings in fear of ruining not only your friendship with him but also in fear of losing your new family as well. It was complicated, and so you were fine with swearing yourself to secrecy and hoping the feelings would dwindle with time.
“If you don’t take a chance now another girl is going to come along and do it herself,” Anne warns much to your dismay before excusing herself to wipe down the nearby tables. Sighing, you let your head lower and hit the counter of the bar in defeat as you mull over her words.
“Hey,” Viktor says, almost appearing out of nowhere and startling you out of your internal pity party. “Table three wants a round of whiskey.”
“Oh, right, of course,” you stammer out before quickly getting to work. It takes all of your willpower to still the shakiness of your hands as you set out six glasses and begin to pour out drinks. Viktor watches on silently with a careful smile, and you’re so focused on not messing up that you don’t notice the way he admires you work.
“Doing okay today?”
“Can’t complain,” you reply with a weak chuckle before sliding the tray of drinks over for him to take. However, instead of leaving Viktor remains planted in front of you, almost hesitating as if unsure of his next words.
“Hey, so I was supposed to close tonight but I got Bill to cover me. Did you want to grab some dinner tonight?”
“Don’t we always grab dinner?” You reply with a raised brow, unsure of why he seems so nervous.
“I guess we do,” he admits with a sheepish chuckle. “But what I mean is, would you want to grab dinner together? Like a date?”
“Oh… oh!” You exclaim in shocked realization. A part of you almost doesn’t believe this is happening right now, and you discreetly pinch yourself beneath the counter to ensure you’re not dreaming. You’re quick to respond with a delighted smile, nodding as you say, “I’d really like that.”
“Great,” Viktor says with a grin. “Then it’s a date.”
You watch him finally take the tray and head back to table three, your heart racing in your chest and your mind working overtime to replay the moment over and over again in your head. After almost a year of pining you’re finally going on a first date with the man of your dreams. Maybe you really were wrong about the possibility of Viktor liking you back.
You can’t wait to tell Anne.
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moonlinos · 8 months
Text
Invisible string (pt. I)
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♡ Pairing: Lee Minho × fem!reader / Hwang Hyunjin × fem!reader
♡ Synopsis: With your terrible history of boyfriends during high school, you swore off love and vowed to get through university without a relationship. Things are great: you’re in your junior year, in an uncomplicated arrangement with a friend with benefits, and living in a nice sharehouse with two amazing roommates. But things begin to change once you meet Lee Minho, a student in your new class who vows to change your perspective on love.
♡ Genre: A ‘lite version’ of a soulmate AU, fluff, eventual smut, light angst, pining, jealousy, strangers to friends to lovers, friends with benefits
♡ CW: Swearing, sexual themes and discussions, mentions of anxiety/panic attacks, alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking
♡ Word count: 16.4k
♡ A/N: This is a three-part story because I can’t shut up. The second part will be posted sometime next week, and I’ll link it here. I’ve been writing all my life and have written for maaaany fandoms, but being on Tumblr as an active reader of SKZ fics made me want to write for them. So, yeah, guess this is what I’m doing now.
part II →
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You are woken up by Hyunjin shifting beside you on the bed. He groans, arm reaching to mess with your already closed curtains. You chuckle.
“You know, the curtains won’t close any more than that.”
“I keep telling you your bed is in a terrible position,” He grumbles as you turn to face him with a smile. “Who thought placing a bed right under a window would be a good idea? Mornings are fucking hell here.”
You shrug. “Well, it’s not my house so I didn’t exactly have a say in that matter.”
“I told you a million times I could help you move it.”
“And I told you a million times Mrs. Choi doesn’t like for us to mess with her furniture,” You explain, turning under the sheets so you could face him before bringing your fingers up to pinch his cheek. Hyunjin scrunches his nose. “Speaking of which, you need to leave. You know her rule: no—”
“No boyfriends spending more than two days at the house,” He interrupted you with an eye roll. “I’m not your boyfriend, though, so that rule shouldn’t apply.” He shrugs.
Hyunjin has been one of your best friends since you first met over two years ago. It was Hyunjin’s first college party and one of the many times your housemates had dragged you along on a night out. His friends had dared him to try and chat you up, arguing it would be hilarious to see him get turned down by an older girl. What they hadn’t expected, however, was for Hyunjin’s clumsy attempt at flirting to be so endearing to you; his pink cheeks and bowl-cut hair made him look like a helpless kid despite his height towering over you. Before you knew it, you had spent the entirety of the party talking to him about everything and anything, only stopping once your housemate Eunha emerged from inside the house to drag you home with her as she desperately tried to dodge a rather insistent guy’s advances. After that day, you and Hyunjin became almost inseparable.
You can’t quite pinpoint when you began hooking up. It was meaningless in the best sense of the word. It was simply something that had happened. All you can remember is that Jisung had recently bleached Hyunjin’s hair after yet another dare from his friend. It had started with cuddles, which turned to kisses, which turned to touches, until you eventually slept together for the first time sometime last year after an excruciatingly stressful exam period. It had never once gotten weird between the two of you; the line was always clear: you were just friends who hooked up due to convenience. Everybody had needs and stress and shit complicating their lives, and fucking your best friend was far more practical and safe than going out to look for a random hook-up whenever you needed it.
You find yourself smiling at Hyunjin once again. His now long black hair fell in his eyes as he stretched his arms over his head.
“Yes, you’re not my boyfriend, but how am I supposed to explain what we are to a little old lady?”
“Doesn’t she always say she’s super modern?” Hyunjin raises his eyebrows at you with a chuckle. “Maybe she’d like a situationship of her own and you’re depriving her of that by keeping this knowledge to yourself.”
You roll your eyes at his words, attempting to push him off your bed. “Why did you sleep here, anyway?”
Hyunjin sits up on the bed, a pout on his full lips. “I had a shitty date. I was sad and lonely. Glad to know you were paying attention to my story.”
“Hyune,” You sigh, ‘When you tell me said story while fucking me, can I really be blamed for not remembering anything?”
Hyunjin flicks your forehead lightly. “Yes, you can. At this point, it’s like our thing to vent about bad dates during sex,” He argues before getting up from your bed, finding his shirt, which had somehow been thrown over your study desk.
“You mean it’s your thing,” Correcting him, you get up as well, turning to fix up your sheets. “I don’t even go on dates and you know that. The only thing I vent to you about is how awful academic life is.”
Once you turned to face him again, Hyunjin was busy messily tying his hair. His brows promptly furrowed as he took in your words. “Remind me why you literally never leave the house again?”
“Just don’t want to get distracted. Getting my degree is more important than getting a boyfriend.” You lie with a shrug.
Your history with relationships was something you kept secret from everyone you met after high school. You feel embarrassed, as if it was all somehow your fault. After five failed relationships where you had been the one to be broken up with or cheated on, you began to accept that maybe the problem really was you. Maybe something about you makes men want to yell at and cheat on you. Perhaps you are just bound to be a distraction until they find someone better.
Which is why you don’t date.
Would anyone go through the hassle of reading a long, tedious book if they already knew about the bad ending?
Hyunjin rolls his eyes at your answer, crossing his arms over his chest. “Your degree isn’t going to keep you company when you’re eighty and alone.”
“Well, my degree isn’t going to wake up one day and suddenly decide to leave me either,” you refute, earning an annoyed groan from your friend as you walk past him to leave your room.
“You literally never have fun, though. All you do is go to class, work, and study. You should at least pick up a new hobby,” Hyunjin insists as he follows you, walking into the kitchen-living room area. “Go out more, stop avoiding college parties like the plague before it’s too late to experience the joys of watching your friend throw up on some random person’s couch.”
You make a face at the offers, grabbing your mug from the cupboard. “Why would I want to see that? Besides, I have hobbies.”
“I meant a social hobby. Sitting in your room watching fucking iceberg videos isn’t sociable,” He explains, and you let out an aggrieved gasp. Your iceberg videos were educational and entertaining, thank you very much. Behind you, your housemate’s bedroom door opens, and you turn to watch as she stumbles out of her room, looking half-awake. “Soojung, don’t you think she should get a new hobby?” Hyunjin addresses the blonde girl, who stares daggers at him.
“If I say yes, will you two stop speaking so loud?”
Hyunjin slams one hand on the kitchen counter, his other pointing a finger at you. “See, she said yes. You’re outnumbered, now you have to stop spending all your free time holed up inside your room.”
Soojung groans, stepping into the kitchen and shoving Hyunjin to the side. “He’s annoying, but he is kind of right,” she mumbles.
Truthfully, you did feel bad about having essentially wasted three years at university by actively avoiding parties and invitations any chance you got. The only parties you did attend, however, only served as an irritating reminder as to why you shouldn’t put yourself in those situations. Parties and bars only meant desperate college boys. Desperate for sex, for attention, for a potential relationship. For someone’s heart to break. You had met Hyunjin at a party, for fuck’s sake. Who knows just how south things between you two could’ve gone if he had become interested in you romantically?
But, as much as you hate to admit it, Hyunjin is right. Your life is essentially an endless loop of studying and working. You only socialize when your roommates are home, when your few friends come over, and when you and Hyunjin hook up. But you aren’t ready to step out of your comfortable bubble of avoidance, so you settle for the best thing you can think of.
As Hyunjin rummages through your fridge like he lived there and Soojung stirs her coffee blankly, you loudly set your mug down on the counter. “An elective course,” you announce.
The both of them turn to face you with the same puzzled expression.
“The fuck?” Hyunjin questions, and you roll your eyes.
“I’ll take an elective,” you explain matter-of-factly, “The university offers a lot of great courses in things I’m actually interested in. It’ll be a way for me to get out of the house without having to watch a friend of mine puke on a couch or whatever atrocity it is that you said.”
Hyunjin slams the fridge door closed, earning a scolding scream from Soojung, and walks over to where you’re standing. He pulls you into a tight embrace, and you can hear the smile in his voice as he says, “You’re such a fucking nerd, what the fuck, but I’m so glad your hermit life is coming to an end.”
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The elective course you choose is Japanese. It’s a language you’ve always been interested in learning, and while you know the class is merely introductory, you figure it will be fun to learn some phrases and expressions. You might even find yourself wanting to learn more in the future, and you’ll undoubtedly be glad you took this class during university.
Even if that means having to endure Hyunjin calling you a weeb.
You are able to begin attending classes a week after signing up; the lessons lining up with your work schedule to a T. The professor explained that, since you had joined the course late, you would likely need some guidance with phrases and words the class had already been taught. You didn’t mind, actually feeling excited in the morning despite your boring routine classes since you knew you would be doing something new you enjoyed in the afternoon instead of simply killing time around your house until it was time for you to work.
You walk into your first class ten minutes late, mentally cursing Eunha for being so good at telling stories about her weirdly entertaining life that it made it physically difficult for you to drag yourself away from her. You mouth a brief apology to your professor before scanning the room and scurrying over to the only available seat. 
You sit down in haste so as to not disrupt the class any further, swinging your bag over your chair and accidentally knocking over your seatmate’s water bottle all over his side of the desk. Luckily, the bottle lands on the soft surface of his notebook, barely making any noise. Unluckily, said bottle had been filled with coffee, staining his notes a faded brown color. You silently gasp, instinctively reaching out your hands to fruitlessly try and dry the pages that are now sticking to each other.
“I am so sorry, what the fuck,” you mutter under your breath as you continue to inspect his notebook frantically. “I’ll buy you a new notebook and another cup of coffee as soon as class ends, I promise,” You whisper to him, your eyes boring holes into the stained pages as you watch the bitter liquid slowly dissolve some of the black ink. At this point, you’re rambling out of nervousness, but you can’t seem to stop, adding, “Hell, I’m so angry at myself for what I did I’d bind you a new notebook and brew you some fresh coffee myself.”
You mentally berate yourself for your word vomit. It was just your luck that you would make someone hate your guts on the first day you attended a class.
After what feels like minutes of silence from him, you are prepared for the imminent burst of rage bound to come your way, the guy’s wrath more than likely stirring inside him as he sits beside you and watches as you foolishly shake the piece of paper, hoping it will miraculously return to its untainted state.
However, what you aren’t prepared for is the small burst of laughter that leaves your seatmate’s lips; it’s quiet, but you’re close enough to him to be able to hear it.
You furrow your brows, finally mustering the courage to look up at him for the first time.
“Did you…” You trail off. You feel a strange sensation inside your chest as your eyes meet his. It was something you had never felt before, a small burst of a fluttering that briskly washed over you before disappearing just as quickly. Like a pinwheel was placed inside of you and a strong wind had suddenly started blowing. You shake your head, returning to the matter at hand. You are probably just experiencing some anxiety due to what has happened, you argue mentally. “Did you just laugh at me?”
As you finally take him in properly, the guy before you looks as dazed as you felt just now, courtesy of your minor panic attack; his lips agape and his round eyes blinking while his dark pupils are fixed on you. You two remain that way for a few seconds in an impromptu staring contest that causes the peculiar feeling to bloom inside your chest once again.
When he finally speaks, his voice is soft. “You… offered to bind a notebook for a stranger,” His lips twitch into a grin. “It was a little funny.”
You open your mouth but promptly close it, unable to come up with an answer that wouldn’t make you appear like more of an idiot than you already do. You sigh. “Sorry,” you mumble, your voice low as well. “I say stupid shit when I’m nervous.”
He waves his hand dismissively. “It’s okay. I’m—”
“You two, on the back,” your professor calls out in a louder voice, however still keeping her calm demeanor. You and your seatmate turn to look at her. “I’m going to teach a few new phrases useful for traveling now. How about you two talk after class? This is actually quite perfect. Minho is one of my best students, so he could help you catch up to where we are.” She offers the two of you a small smile, and you feel your cheeks burn.
This class wasn’t mandatory, and you didn’t need it to get your degree. It is still a class, nonetheless. Ever since high school, you’ve always hated people who disrespect their professors by brazenly talking or sleeping during class.
“I’m sorry, professor,” You muttered. Beside you, your seatmate — Minho, as he was just called — scoots closer to you and whispers something you don’t understand under his breath. You look at him, confused. He chuckles, and you feel his breath on your cheek. It makes the odd fluttering return.
“Gomenasai,” He repeats more clearly, his voice louder, “It’s ‘I’m sorry’ in Japanese.” He offers you a smile, and you soak in just how good-looking he is. Ever since you first raised your head to look at him — when the pinwheel inside your chest rapidly spun and unexplainedly made you feel nervous — you knew he was a handsome guy, but his soft smile and calm eyes made him look even more annoyingly pretty.
Before you’re able to do it yourself, your professor speaks again and pulls you out of your trance.
“In this case, Sumimasen would be a bit more appropriate,” she corrects Minho, who clicks his tongue and mutters something under his breath. The woman chuckles at his reaction. “It’s okay. This is also something you can explain to Y/N after class.”
As the class went on, you couldn’t help but notice how Minho didn’t take any notes. Your mind latched onto how you ruined his notebook and how it was your fault that he couldn’t properly study during today’s class, so you couldn’t find the courage to offer him some paper so he could take notes.
After almost an hour of unrelenting guilt swallowing you up slowly, you place your hand on Minho’s shoulder as soon as the professor announces class is over after assigning the students a small written assignment.
“We could talk outside? If you want,” you offer him, feeling the now-familiar nervousness come back, making your mouth speak faster than your brain can even think to rationalize, “There’s a bench I really like outside this building. It’s a good spot. There’s a nice shade, and it’s secluded enough that people don’t bother me when I’m studying. Or googling how to bind a notebook.”
Minho lets out a brief chuckle. “Okay. I would love to talk on your favorite bench.”
You blink at him. “I don’t have a favorite bench.”
“Hm, it sure sounded like it. You listed some good attributes of that bench,” He argues, a grin etched onto his lips.
“I told you I say stupid shit when I’m nervous.”
He raises an eyebrow at your words. “You’re nervous?”
“Of course I am. I never bound a notebook before.”
Minho lets out a hearty laugh this time, his head thrown back and his eyes turning into crescent moons before he shakes his head. He picks his notebook off the table, showing you the crinkly light brown-tinted pages. “It’s dry now. I actually kind of like it, gave the pages a sort of vintage vibe. You don’t have to bind me a new notebook,” He reassures you, placing the small book into his bag. “As much as I would love to see how that would turn out.”
And just like that, your nervousness fades away. You smile at Minho, asking that he follow you over to your favorite bench.
The two of you talked for almost two hours. During that time, Minho helped you catch up with the vocabulary and phrases you had missed in class. When you asked him how he was able to know so much off the top of his head, his lips curled into a crooked grin as he sheepishly told you that he had been taking Japanese lessons since he was in high school. He explained that because he procrastinated signing up for an elective course, the advanced class was full by the time he got to it, so he decided to go for the introductory one instead. You chuckled and questioned why he would choose to spend his time on a course when he already knew everything being taught. He shrugged and explained that it was nice to have at least one class in which he didn’t have to try and that the fact that it made him feel smart also helped.
Not even your shift at work was able to make your conversation stop flowing, as Minho offered to walk with you to the coffee shop upon realizing it was near his apartment.
That was one of the many coincidences and things in common you found to have with each other that day.
It started with ordinary things like the fact that Minho had three cats back home just like you and how he had been collecting plushies since he was a child, while you had started your own collection as soon as you had access to money of your own. Or how your favorite authors were Jane Austen and Charlotte Brontë — Minho swore you would die if you saw the special edition books he had back at home.
Then, it became a bit more amusing as you found out that Minho had worked at a convenience store chain when he first finished high school, and it was the same one you worked at for your first job after starting university. And you both had worked there for exactly a year and two months before quitting. You then told him about how you ended up attending this university after your top three choices turned you down, and his choices were the same as yours. And just like you, he also got rejected by his top three options, which led him to attend the same university as you.
You two couldn’t hide your bewilderment, eyes widening and lips bursting into laughter as these linked facts kept spilling out during your conversation. It was strange, you thought, but in a comforting way. It was almost as if you two had been living weirdly similar lives, all while having no clue about the other’s existence.
The two of you approach the small coffee shop while talking about your degrees. You try your best not to bore Minho with your ‘existential crisis-inducing psychology talks,’ as Hyunjin always put it, and you mostly listen to him as he talks about programming. He tells you that his dream is to develop cozy games that people can jump into without much thought, simply to relax. He says he knows how stressful life is and that people sometimes need something they can mindlessly do to get their minds off of shit. You resonate with it more than you care to admit, as cozy idle games are one of your favorite things to do while locked inside your room.
“So I do these freelancing gigs to make money but I’m actually set to start my first quote-unquote real job in two weeks,” he beams as you two stop in front of the coffee shop. Minho’s eyes lit up the moment he started speaking about his degree, and although you didn’t understand most of the terms he used, it is always endearing to watch someone talk about something they’re so passionate about. “There’s this guy who’s graduating soon who recruited me and a friend for a project he’s working on, so it’s not technically a job and we’ll work in his living room. I’ll still get some money and the chance to actually develop something, though, so it’s better than nothing.”
You smile at him. “If you like programming as much as your words led me to believe, I’m sure it won’t even feel like a job.”
Minho’s ears turned a faint shade of pink, and he scratched his head. “Sorry, I talked your ear off about shit you don’t even understand.”
“I think everybody likes to hear people talk about things they like,” you assure him, “It was a good talk. I still can’t believe we have so many things in common. It was kind of funny how they kept coming up.”
Minho chuckles, bouncing on the heels of his feet. “Guess the universe is giving us signs that we should be friends.”
“It seems like it.”
That day, you work with a persistent smile engraved on your lips. You can’t remember the last time you felt so good about meeting someone new. Despite your awkward first encounter, you found that talking to Minho was as easy as talking to an old childhood friend. It felt refreshing. The last friend you made was Hyunjin — whom you were so grateful to now for pushing you out of your comfort zone — and after that, you had unknowingly closed yourself off.
Minho had managed to open up your mind to the idea of letting someone in almost comically fast. And you loved that.
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It’s been a month since you’ve been attending Japanese classes, and your studying sessions with Minho — which always turned into long conversations on what now had really become your favorite bench — were a weekly appointment, much like having him walk with you to work twice a week.
Today, however, Minho stopped you with a hand on your shoulder as you made your way toward your usual spot. When he asked you if you would like to study at his favorite bakery today instead, his eyes rapidly blinking as he looked at you through his bangs which had grown to slightly cover his eyes since you met him, you just couldn’t say no. He stammered as he promised that the place was even closer than the one where you worked, so you wouldn’t be late for your shift.
You smiled at his apparent nervousness, finding it endearing. You knew all too well how stressed you felt when offering something new or initiating plans with a new friend, and Minho seemed to be the same.
“Good thing you made this offer today, on my day off,” you bumped shoulders with him. “It’s almost like you knew.”
You begin walking, and Minho gently pushes you to the side so that he’s the one walking on the edge of the side of the sidewalk. You shoot him a questioning look, and he blinks at you again.
“Sorry, force of habit,” he chuckles, “My mom taught me a guy shouldn’t let a girl walk on the street side. I know it’s old-fashioned and probably made me seem like an ancient guy who wouldn’t let his wife work or something. Sorry.”
You shake your head. “No, it’s kind of sweet. I never had anyone do that with me.”
You feel the pinwheel twirl inside your chest again.
The two of you approach a familiar building together. You furrow your eyebrows as you take in the floral curtains on the windows and the pretty font adorning the store sign of your favorite bakery. You think about how it would be nice if you two came here on another day. Maybe you could use that opportunity to finally introduce Minho to your other friends.
You only realize Minho has stopped walking when he calls out your name. When you turn around, he’s standing in front of the bakery with a smile.
“This is the place.” He points toward the white door with a nod as you return to where he’s standing.
No fucking way.
“This is your favorite bakery?” You ask, although it is a stupid question. Minho nods. You play with the strap of your bag. “Okay, this is starting to sound ridiculous, but I swear I’m not lying. This is my favorite bakery, too.”
Minho’s eyes widen at your words, and his lips curl into a smile again. “Shut the fuck up.”
“I will not,” You chuckle.
Minho opens the door and the two of you walk inside, the familiar smell of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods bringing back great memories you made in this place. You often come here with your two roommates; it’s close enough to both your house and university that you can skip out on taking the bus, the atmosphere is always relaxing and comforting, not to mention the delicious cakes they sell. You smile to yourself as you remember Eunha scuffing down far too many slices of their chocolate cake after a nasty breakup a couple of months ago, tears streaming down her face so violently that the poor little old man who owns the shop appeared to check up on her.
“Their lemon cake is my favorite.”
“The lemon cake is what made me—”
You and Minho speak concurrently, with you unable to even finish your sentence before you both freeze for a couple of seconds in front of the only small table available at the crowded shop.
He’s the first one to move, pulling out his chair a bit awkwardly. “We should…” He trails off before clearing his throat as you sit down before him. “Should really make a written list of things we weirdly have in common.”
“At this point, I think it’d be easier if we made one of what we don’t have in common.”
You two settle for the obvious choice of two pieces of lemon cake with a cup of coffee for him and a glass of cola for you. Minho almost looked offended when you informed him that you hate coffee, wondering out loud why you even worked at a coffee shop before ensuring he could change your mind with just the five amazing facts about coffee he thought about off the top of his head. You shrugged him off with a grin. You couldn’t deny the irony of being a barista and having to make endless cups of a drink you despised daily, but you were sure Minho could never change your mind about coffee.
You two talked about your improvement in Japanese in the last month until the waiter returned with your order. Minho insists you’re a natural and could be on his level in a couple of years if you tried, but you roll your eyes at his compliments. You’ve never been naturally good at anything. That wasn’t about to change now.
“You know,” Minho begins once the waiter steps away from your table, looking around the coffee shop. People slowly started to leave as it got later in the day; the place was now much quieter, and the atmosphere even more cozy. “I used to think I would meet somebody in a place like this.”
“Like, in a romantic sense?”
Minho hums, still looking out to his side. You notice his side profile is really pretty, and you have to hide your smile by sipping your drink.
When he returns his gaze to you, he’s the one smiling. “Yes, in a romantic sense. Like being destined to meet someone.”
“Look at you, a hopeless romantic,” You roll your eyes with a chuckle. You never thought of Minho as someone like that. He seemed rather methodical, always following a routine and too engrossed in his codes to be preoccupied with something like love.
Minho furrowed his brows. “Why the eye roll?”
“I just don’t believe in that stuff,” you shrug with a small smile, “Stuff like destiny, soulmates, love…” You trail off, taking your spoon and poking the slice of cake in front of you. “Love has the awful tendency of being bad.”
Of course, you once believed all those things. Doesn’t everybody? But love has shown you time and time again that those are things reserved only for some people. And, clearly, you are not one of them. So why believe in it?
“It’s the most amazing thing in life,” Minho’s voice almost startled you as you were so deeply entranced in your thoughts.
You don’t lift your head to answer him, instead drawing mindless shapes on the icing on top of your cake.
“What is?”
“Love,” He replies in a soft voice. When you finally look at him, you’re surprised to find Minho’s deep eyes already looking at you, a small smile adorning his lips. “Love is the most amazing thing in life.”
You freeze.
You tear your eyes away from him, gaze focusing on the plate in front of you again.
You were careful with your rules. No parties, no bars, no talking to your male co-workers unless absolutely necessary, and no male friends unless they were in a relationship or proved beyond a reasonable doubt to only be interested in you platonically — which was what Minho was. So, why did him bringing up love make you feel so nervous?
Under the table, you unwittingly bounce your leg. This was stupid. Minho has been your friend for a month now; you see each other twice a week, and you talk for hours, always so comfortable around each other in a way that is still so new to you. He has never flirted with you or treated you in any way that led you to believe that he wanted anything more than to be your friend. You will not let your foolish trauma ruin what was proving to be an amazing friendship. He was simply sharing his thoughts on a topic. That’s all love was: a conversation topic.
You force out a chuckle as you snap yourself out of your senseless panic and look up at Minho once more. “We can just agree to disagree?”
He’s quiet for a few seconds, something you can’t quite pinpoint swimming in his deep eyes as he looks at you. Instead of breaking the silence, he scoops up a piece of cake with his spoon and raises it like a glass. You shake your head with a giggle as you realize what he’s doing, toasting your spoons together at the center of the table before you both eat your spoonfuls of cake.
“You know,” He speaks as soon as he’s done eating, his eyes having never left yours. “Love can never be bad. I don’t think so, at least. It never makes anything worse. It can only ever make things better.”
You hum and shift in your seat, lowering your gaze toward the table. The truth is, you hate talking about love. That — coupled with your shame regarding your past relationships — is the reason why you never indulge in this type of conversation, even with your own mother. But years of swallowing down your thoughts and opinions whenever the subject was brought up only caused a buildup of emotions in your throat. So much so that you only realized you were talking once you were midway through a sentence.
“Love can make so many things worse,” you affirmed, your eyes following the polka-dot pattern on the tablecloth, “Losing someone is bad enough, but put love into that equation, and it just worsens tenfold.”
Minho nods. “By that logic, you can say that having someone by your side is always good, but if it’s someone you love, it makes it better tenfold, right?”
You let out a chuckle as you realize you two could go back and forth about that subject for ages.
But it felt good to finally speak out your feelings on the matter, so you continue, “Love can’t be that great if people can so easily fall out of it and for so many different but equally stupid reasons. You’re suddenly not attractive to them anymore, or you have different opinions, or they love picking fights but hate it when it’s the other way around…” You trail off, swallowing down a lump in your throat as you speak out of experience. But Minho didn’t need to know that. You lift your eyes. “Not to mention falling in love with a new person all while supposedly already being in love with someone.”
“That’s not genuine love,” Minho shakes his head with furrowed eyebrows, as if it was his first time hearing of such things happening. “Real love is unconditional and understanding. Real love makes the person you love beautiful simply because they’re them. Real love doesn’t allow you to hurt the person you love because it feels like you’re hurting yourself as well.” His expression softens, and his eyes lock onto yours. “And real love makes it so that you can only see the one you love. You can’t possibly fall in love with someone else if you’re truly already in love.”
You gnaw on your bottom lip, nodding slowly. You hate the fact that part of you is desperate to believe that what Minho said was true. And you hate it even more that an even bigger part has already dismissed every single word that left his lips.
Desperate to shift the subject from Reasons Why My Exes Left Me — which only leaves you feeling sad and pathetic — back to Love Is Amazing, you decide to try and lighten the mood.
“Okay, but then explain to me how love is so great when you can just have sex with anyone, and it feels the same either way?” You question him with a teasing grin on your face. Minho shakes his head with a smile and eats another bite of his cake. You continue, “Be it a stranger at a party you met ten minutes ago or the love of your life, sex will always be sex. Therefore, you’re wrong, mister Love-Makes-Everything-Better.”
Minho chuckles around his mug, eyes closing as he almost spits out his coffee. His eyes are like crescent moons when he looks at you again, clearly amused by your words. “Well, yeah, of course, sex will always feel good no matter who you’re doing it with. It’s sex, and sex feels good,” He shrugs dismissively. “But sex with love is different. You aren’t just fucking, just fulfilling your own desires selfishly. Love makes sex better because you feel good simply by making the person who’s so important to you feel good. It makes you want to melt into the other person and become one with them because close isn’t close enough when you’re in love.
“Touching them feels like a gift, like heaven. Tasting them feels like heaven. Hearing their voice in their most blissful state feels like heaven. The trust and connection you feel in that moment is heaven, and that’s only possible through love. You can have sex with anyone, but you can only make love to someone you love, and those are two different things. That’s how love makes sex better. Therefore, I’m not wrong.”
As you take in Minho’s words, spoken so casually, like it was common knowledge, they leave you speechless. You watch him as he smiles triumphantly when he realizes you aren’t going to refute him — because you can’t refute him.
You berate yourself mentally as you notice the familiar feeling of arousal wash over you as you repeat his words inside your head. Not because it was Minho who said those things, but simply because that kind of sex sounded so good. Good in a way you had never once experienced before. Like heaven, as he had put it.
Your experience with sex has always been simply about fulfilling desires. You thought that was all there was to it.
Until now.
And even so, with your ex-boyfriends, it was always unbalanced. Ninety percent about their pleasure and only ten percent about yours. The first time you had a guy go down on you was the first time you had sex with Hyunjin, and by that point, you had already had five boyfriends. It felt weird when it happened, and you remember Hyunjin whining about how you didn’t have to ask him every five minutes if he was really okay with doing that. It had always been different with him, the good kind of different. He had never been selfish during sex; if anything, Hyunjin was too much of a giver, sometimes forgetting about his own pleasure in order to focus on yours. You thought that was the best sex you could ever have.
Until now.
Because, even with Hyunjin, there was never a genuine connection. It never felt like a gift to touch him and have him touch you. It was never anything more than sex, more than something you both did because it felt good and it was easy. He slept in your bed, and he cuddled you until morning came, but it had never once felt anything close to what Minho described.
You can’t help but wonder if Minho has ever experienced that. You desperately want to ask him, but you two aren’t close enough for that yet.
You also can’t help but wonder why you spend the rest of the evening raging a war against yourself as your mind is consumed with thoughts of what it would be like to experience that kind of sex with him.
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It’s late in the night on the following Saturday, and your phone incessantly vibrating under your pillow rudely demands your attention just as you’re about to fall asleep. You squint your eyes as you type in your password. You sigh as you see Hyunjin’s name on your screen because of course it’s him.
Hyune: I’m outside open the door Hyune: please open the door? quick? Hyune: mrs. choi is gonna kill me if I use the intercom pls I don’t wanna die Hyune: I’m in my pajamas do you know how humiliating this is
Hyune: and I’m highkey pissed off Hyune: I WILL sleep on the bench outside your house if you don’t let me in and then I’ll die and who’s gonna live with the guilt? Hyune: you Hyune: OPENM TEH DOOR
You roll your eyes at his dramatic texts, stepping out of the comfort of your bed and padding across the floor as quietly as possible so as not to wake up your roommates. You open your front door and speed past the hallway and Mrs. Choi’s home, reaching the outside door in record time. It’s something you’ve done more times than you care to admit in order to let Hyunjin into your house. Your tenant was a sweet woman, insistent that she was modern and understanding of ‘young people’, but she despised people coming into your home any later than midnight.
You step outside, finding Hyunjin pacing back and forth like a creep in front of your house. True to his words, he stood in his checkered pajama pants and a black t-shirt. His hair was in a ponytail, the strands messily sticking out everywhere like he had tossed and turned in bed before coming here.
“You look like shit,” you speak up, causing him to jump and let out a gasp. You chuckle as he scowls at you, climbing the few steps to reach the door.
“I had a fight with Mingyu,” he grumbles as you two walk toward your front door. “He told me I spilled paint on his favorite shirt, which is fucking impossible since I don’t even paint anywhere near his shit.” 
“I mean, you are a messy painter.”
Hyunjin shoots you a look as you close your front door behind you. You take off your shoes and walk toward your bedroom in silence. This was routine. Hyunjin knew the rules: no knocking on the outside door, no buzzing the intercom, no shouting from outside, keep your voice down in the hallway, no talking until you reach your bedroom. It was all automatic at this point.
His voice is louder when he speaks again inside your locked bedroom. “First of all, I am not a messy painter. The paint is messy, not me. Second of all, if Mingyu wasn’t a fucking idiot, maybe he wouldn’t leave his favorite shirt on the floor of the living room right by my art corner,” Hyunjin huffs and crosses his arms over his chest, “If that’s how he treats his favorite shirt, I feel bad for his girlfriend.”
You let out a chuckle, which is cut short by him pulling you into his arms. “Hyunjin, that analogy makes no sense.”
“Yes, it does. You treat your favorite shirt like shit, you treat your girlfriend like shit,” he states matter-of-factly before pulling you into a kiss.
This was routine. It was all automatic at this point.
Hyunjin kisses you like he’s angry. Because he is, and that’s one of the reasons why you two do this. You let out your frustrations during sex. You complain, and you let off steam until you both feel okay again. It’s been this way for a year and some months now, and you never once thought anything of it. It was beneficial for you both, so why change or question it?
But that was before your talk with Minho. Before you were awoken to the truth that you’d been having meaningless sex your whole life.
When you’re pulled away from your thoughts, you’re already laid in your bed with Hyunjin hovering over you. His lips and hands wander through your body as he mumbles things you can’t quite understand; you can only make out your name and Mingyu’s mixed with curses. You try to bring yourself back to the moment, bringing your legs to wrap around Hyunjin’s waist and bring him closer to you.
He stops kissing your neck and yanks his shirt over his head, his hair untying in the process and falling on his face like a curtain. You giggle and try to fix it with your fingers. Hyunjin pouts.
“Don’t you think I’m right?”
You frown and hope he can’t see your confused expression in the dim lighting. You truly weren’t paying any attention to what he had been saying, too engrossed in your thoughts and too busy feeling sorry for yourself. Hyunjin’s tendency to tell you about his frustrations during sex always left you a bit puzzled, but it was also oddly sweet. It was like he trusted you so deeply as a friend that he believed he could share anything with you, no matter the time.
So you nod, lightly pulling at his hair. “Of course you’re right.”
He hums and buries his head on your chest, grinding his hips into your clothed core. “Of course I’m right,” he mumbles under his breath.
Everything is a blur after that, your mind insistent on repeating Minho’s words like an annoying echo. When Hyunjin’s tongue fucked you hastily, and he murmured something about you tasting so good, all you could hear was Minho’s voice telling you how tasting the person you love feels like heaven. When Hyunjin pushed his cock into you, his hands gripping your thighs and head buried in your neck, all you could think about was how this sex paled in comparison to what you could’ve been having — what you could have already had — if only you weren’t so damn unlovable. 
You knew that Minho didn’t intend to make you feel bad with his words. They weren’t targeted at you. But that didn’t stop your mind from sabotaging and putting yourself down. It was one of your biggest talents, after all.
Your body was present and responsive the entire time; you moaned because it felt good, and you kissed Hyunjin because you wanted to. But you were mentally somewhere else.
And the worst thing is, you’re a hundred percent sure Hyunjin doesn’t even notice it.
Because this wasn’t love. This was only sex.
And this was all you had ever known.
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Time flies by faster than your brain can comprehend; before you know it, another month goes by. You only managed to go to your favorite bakery with Minho one more time before your work hours were changed, your shift now starting a mere thirty minutes after your Japanese class ends. He still walked you to work twice a week, but you would be lying if you said it didn’t upset you to have to let go of your weekly talks.
Minho also became busier due to his own job. With so little time to see each other face to face outside of class, most of your talks took place over text. He talked about his job with so much adoration it made you a little jealous; his partners were now simply friends he worked with, and his joy over finally being able to create a cozy game made it so that he pushed himself over his limit, often sleeping on his friend’s couch after working until four a.m. and getting through the next day on excessive amounts of coffee.
That was how you two came up with the idea of Minho dropping by the café where you work to pick up coffee for him and his friends. He would drop by at least twice every day, his friend’s house — which also served as their office — only one bus stop away.
The first time Minho came by, he had his wallet and phone in one hand, a sharpie and a block of sticky notes in the other. You eyed him curiously as he scribbled on the piece of paper while your co-worker prepared his coffee. When he was done, he stuck the note to the monitor in front of you on the counter. You furrowed your brows as your eyes shifted from the Japanese words on the bright yellow note back to Minho’s smug face. You were certainly grateful he at least had the courtesy of including the romanization of whatever he had written down. Not that it helped you in any way.
“Since our studying sessions after class were rudely taken from us, this is your extra homework. It’s all words we already learned. You just gotta think a little bit, and you’ll figure it out. You’re smart, I know you can do it,” He assured you.
Expect you weren’t that smart and ended up giving up by the time you got home that night. The piece of paper was no longer sticky on the border due to you carrying it around all day, boring holes into it as if that would magically give you the answer. You snapped a picture of it as you got ready for bed and sent it to Minho, begging him to put you out of your misery and simply give you the answer. ‘I want to drink coffee,’ he replied. You slapped your hand over your forehead with so much force you were sure the entire house had heard you. He was right; you did learn that in class. Curse the Japanese language for being so difficult.
After that, it became a routine. You waited expectantly for Minho’s visits daily, but you are extra excited today. It’s a Friday, and your birthday is tomorrow. After much pestering from Eunha, you agreed to have a small gathering at your house. It only made sense to invite Minho; he’s become one of your closest friends in the two months you’ve known him, after all.
As he walks into the coffee shop, sticky notes and sharpie in hand, you chuckle to yourself. You two chat about the development of his game, with Minho kindly using layman’s terms when explaining it to you. He also tells you about how one of his friends got so frustrated with a code that he threw his phone at a wall before immediately regretting it and crying on the floor next to Minho’s desk. Before you can get worried, he assures you that it’s just an ordinary day at the office, and the three of them end up laughing everything off at the end of the day.
After taking his order, you watch as he begins writing down your homework for the day on the small piece of paper in his hand. As you look around the coffee shop, most tables are empty, and the sun is starting to set outside the glass doors.
“You wanna come over this Saturday?” You ask Minho, who looks up at you before adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. That was one thing you learned about Minho since he began coming over: he wears glasses. Not every day, but enough times for you to notice how good he looks with them. But friends find each other attractive all the time, you justify it. “You never came over to my house, and my roommates really want to meet you. Plus, it’s my birthday tomorrow.”
Minho’s eyes widen. “Your birthday? And you save that information to the end?”
“It’s not a big deal. I usually never even celebrate.” You shrug lightly. You’ve never been big on birthdays, as you just don’t see the reason why it’s supposed to feel different from any other day of the year. “But my roommate pestered me to do something this year, so I agreed to have a party.”
Minho shifts on his feet. “I… really hate parties…” He trails off.
“It’s not a party party. I promise!” You hold up your pinky finger. “It’s more of a get-together, just my roommates and my only two other friends. And, you…” You trail off, “If you come.”
Minho blinks his eyes a couple of times before tearing the piece of paper he was writing on from the pad and crumpling it in his hand. He quickly jots down something new and sticks it to your forehead.
“Minho!” You scold him, to which he laughs, his nose scrunching and eyes crinkling. You advert your gaze from him as your persistent thoughts regarding how unfairly pretty Minho is begin to flood your brain once again. You take the note and analyze it:
はい (Hai)
You smile as you understand the word, looking up at him.
“I’d love to come to your birthday party,” He beams. “Thank you for inviting me.”
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To say Minho is nervous would be an understatement.
He gets out of his car twice, ready to march back inside his friend’s apartment like a coward and pretend that nothing happened both times. Only when he thinks back to how you smiled at him when he agreed to your invitation does he find the courage to start the car and drive to your house. He’d noticed for a while now how much he likes you. But it was when he agreed with the idea of going to the café you worked at to pick up coffee that it truly dawned on him that he really liked you. Minho hated taking the bus, he hated doing anything other than zoning out on the couch during his breaks, he hated bustling shops, and he hated how his co-workers both managed to have such intricate coffee orders.
Yet he agreed to that idea, even suggesting he drop by two times a day.
He noticed he’d felt a familiar small whirlpool inside his chest whenever he was with you, when he heard you talk about something you liked or saw you smile. He’s also noticed that this tiny whirlpool has been growing bigger and bigger the more he’s been around you.
But that doesn’t scare him. Minho loves love. He loves to be in love, to love someone, and to make that person feel loved. It’s his favorite thing about life. If he was honest, he missed it so much he didn’t know how he was able to live without it.
Just down the block from your house, he parks his car and gathers his phone and his present for you — clearly clumsily wrapped, even with his co-workers’ help. He feels another wave of nervousness wash over him as he approaches the house; he’s an hour late and needs to mentally prepare to socialize with people he’s never met before. Minho chuckles as he realizes a silly party makes him more nervous than the prospect of possibly falling in love.
You open the door almost as soon as he rings the intercom, and he walks down the hallway into your house door; the crooked box he’s been holding makes his hands sweat. The first thing he notices as you open the door is your styled hair with a big white bow on the back, looking much prettier than the ugly bow he and his friends managed to stick on top of his present. He smiles at the sight and scratches his ear in a futile attempt to stop them from turning red.
God, he really liked you, didn’t he?
“Thank you for coming,” you tell him with a smile. Minho notices the quiet music playing inside the house, the simple decorations, and the cake on top of the kitchen counter. He mentally sighs in relief. This truly wasn’t anything like a big party. “You’re wearing your glasses again,” you point out as Minho walks inside and removes his shoes. He subconsciously reaches his left hand to touch his wire-rimmed glasses that sit on his nose bridge. He grimaces and curses at his friend for making him stay later than he was supposed to today.
“I had no time to go home and change,” He apologizes, fingers now toying with the stupid bow on top of the box. “I usually wear contacts, but they make my eyes dry if I stare at the computer for too long, so I just… wear my glasses at work…” Minho trails off, suddenly feeling stupid, his eyes looking anywhere but toward you.
You chuckle, lightly touching his glasses for a second before moving away again. “You always come to the coffee shop wearing them, and I think you look really good,” you assured him. His eyes quickly met yours, only for you to advert your gaze this time. “You should wear them more often.”
Minho only hums, lightly nodding his head. He feels stupid all over again as the image of himself throwing his contact lenses down the drain crosses his mind.
Clearing his throat, he finally hands you your gift. You giggle at the mismatched wrapping paper and poor excuse of a bow, which makes Minho let out a chuckle and murmur an apology. You open the box, and your eyes light up when you spot the stuffed bunny you have been raving about since you two met. It was the only animal missing from your collection, but you couldn’t find the right time to save up money to buy it. Minho didn’t need to ask if you liked it as he watched your smile grow bigger as you looked at the brown bunny.
“Come, I gotta put him in my bed now,” you beamed and took Minho’s hand in yours, leading him to the living room. There, five people sat on the couch and on the floor. Minho furrows his brows as he takes in a head of light brown hair covered by a familiar beanie. “These are my friends. Eunha’s the girl with short hair on the floor, and Soojung’s the one with blonde hair next to her. They’re also my roommates,” You point at them as you speak. “That’s Jisung sitting next to Soojung; he’s also her boyfriend. And then Hyunjin, with the long hair, sitting next to Chan on the couch. Everyone, this is Minho from my Japanese class.”
With that, you pad off to your room with your bunny in tow. As Chan finally turns to look at Minho, his shocked expression mirrors his. They stare at each other for a while before Chan finally breaks the silence.
“What the fuck, that’s my co-worker.”
Minho narrows his eyes. “So this is why you had to leave an hour earlier today?”
As you come out of your room, you chuckle. “Chan is your co-worker?” You ask Minho, “I can’t believe this. He’s been our friend for longer than I’ve known you. He came like a package deal when Jisung began dating Soojung.”
“Damn, dude, you hate me so much you never talked about me to your friend?” Chan gasped, a hand over his heart. “I’m hurt.”
Minho rolls his eyes but is unable to stop a small grin from forming on his lips as the entire living room erupts in laughter. “Of course I talked about you. I talked about you and Seungmin all the time. It’s just I…” Minho shifts on his feet, shrugging. “I never said your names.”
More laughter seeps out of the group of people, including Chan, and Minho finds himself laughing along this time, shaking his head at his own stupidity. 
He sits beside Chan on the couch while Hyunjin heads to the kitchen with you. He quickly asks him how he came to be friends with you in the first place. Chan explains that he’s been in a class with Jisung for almost two years, and the boy had always pestered him about ‘old people’ needing to hang out with people their age. That’s how he ended up meeting Soojung as soon as she became Jisung’s girlfriend. You and Eunha were an inevitable addition, seeing as you were not only roommates but also great friends.
You offer Minho a beer, which he declines. As much as he wanted to, no beer was worth having to take the bus back home. He silently sips his cola as he watches your group of friends chat. You end up sitting beside him on the couch, your friend Hyunjin to your right.
Minho finds that he missed getting together with people like this and didn’t even realize it. His only friends were left behind back at home, and although they were less than an hour away by bus, their busy lives prevented them from meeting in person. Minho’s favorite memories from his teenage years were having his friends over and just doing nothing for hours, talking about stupid shit until their stomachs hurt from laughing. Eating takeout on the couch with Chan and Seungmin after work came close, but they were always too tired and too stressed to entertain the idea of making jokes. Those were times when Minho realized he had really become an adult.
Jisung’s loud voice suddenly booms through the living room and startles an already drunk-looking Eunha, who murmurs something about the younger boy giving her a heart attack one day. 
“I’m bored,” he grumbles, draping his body over Soojung. “Let’s play spin the bottle.”
Soojung rolls her eyes at him, flicking his forehead. “Are you a teenager?”
Jisung pouts, sitting up straight once more. “We’re in university. University students play this fucking game all the time,” he states matter-of-factly. “Don’t make me regret falling for an older woman.”
“Jisung, I’m only three years older than you, I’m not—”
“Don’t make me call you noona.”
Soojung inhales deeply before turning to face the people sitting on the couch, placing one of the empty beer bottles scattered around her feet on top of the coffee table. “Let’s play spin the bottle. But let’s do dares instead of kissing, that’s too boring.”
Jisung beams, cuddling close to her like a needy child. Minho chuckles at the sight.
Eunha scoots closer to the couple so the group is seated in a circle around the coffee table, half of them on the couch and half on the floor. Minho never had the chance to play spin the bottle, which seemed to be such a staple game of one’s teenage years. By the time his friends were off sneaking into clubs and drinking behind their parents’ backs, he was already in a committed relationship and well aware of the fact that he didn’t enjoy parties.
It seems silly, but he’s glad he won’t live past his youth without experiencing such a trivial thing.
Soojung spins the bottle, and the neck stops facing Chan while the bottom faces Jisung.
“Take your shirt off,” Jisung waves a finger at Chan, who looks somewhat disoriented. Minho chuckles under his breath just as you do the same. You two face each other and let out a hearty laugh, your arm coming to rest on his bicep before retrieving back to your lap faster than Minho hoped it would.
Soojung squishes Jisung’s cheeks and places a small kiss on his lips. “You’re such a fucking chaotic bisexual,” she giggles, “Y’know, Chan, Jisung has had the biggest crush on you since you two first met.”
Chan shakes his head with a stifled laugh and proceeds to remove his shirt, neatly placing it on his lap.
Jisung is next to spin the bottle, this time landing on Soojung, who you dare to show her most embarrassing text. After showing the group a string of texts showing raunchy screenshots of a manhwa she’d been reading at that time, all sent to one of her class group chats which included some professors, she lets out a heavy sigh and orders Eunha to spin the bottle before any questions can be asked.
This time, the neck faces you while the bottom faces Eunha herself. With a smile, the short-haired girl dares you to kiss Minho.
He feels his smile drop at the very second the words leave her lips. This was not what he had in mind for tonight.
“What?” You sputter, “Why?”
Eunha shrugs, adjusting herself so she’s seated upright and staring right at you. “Well, he’s the only one here who would be actually fun to see you kiss. Jisung and Soojung are okay with each other hooking up with other people, so that’s no fun,” she explains, using her fingers to list her reasons, “I’m not into girls, so that’s no fun for me. Hyunjin is too obvious. We all already know Chan, so it would also be boring. Minho is like fresh meat. That is fun.”
Minho’s brain begins finding a suitable excuse for why you two can’t kiss, because he’s certain you have no interest in doing it. Not only are you friends, but your reaction didn’t exactly exude excitement at the prospect of kissing him. Just as he’s ready to lie through his teeth, you turn to him and place your hand on his shoulder, a touch so soft he’s barely able to feel it through the fabric of his shirt.
“Is this okay with you?” You ask him, the tone of your voice so sweet Minho feels like it melts his every thought until his brain is nothing but a sugary pool filled with only you. So he nods because god, yes, this is okay with him.
You gingerly place your right hand on his cheek, bringing your faces closer until your lips press together. The whirlpool inside his chest spins fast, like a vortex dragging every sense of his body toward you and only you.
You remain still for a few seconds, Minho’s eyes opening slightly to search for any sign of regret on your face. Before he can even properly look at you, your lips begin to move against his — gently and carefully, like you’re not sure if this is what he wants. Minho deepens the kiss and hesitates three times before committing to placing his left hand on your waist. The giggles around the two of you nothing but a muffled murmur to him. He presses another kiss to your lips, his body shifting until he is all but caging you against the back of the couch. But just as he swipes his tongue across your bottom lip, you push him back with a smile, Minho chasing after your lips.
He blinks a couple of times, eyes zoning into your smudged red lipstick. He subconsciously bites his own bottom lip, wondering if any of the color transferred to him. The surrounding murmurs bring Minho back to the moment this time, awkwardly clearing his throat before lifting himself off of you and sitting upright on the couch. He tunes out every comment regarding the kiss to the best of his abilities, focusing his energy on slowing down his heart rate. When he catches you giggling while looking at him, your arm touching his bicep yet again, he nods, grabbing his cola bottle from the floor and taking a sip.
Minho can’t remember the last time kissing someone got him so worked up. He entered a long-term relationship at such a young age that he’s only now realizing how unaccustomed he is to kissing someone new, to the rush that comes with having your lips pressing against the ones of someone you like. It was exhilarating and a bit terrifying all at the same time. He was awkward, unsure where to put his hands, uncertain if you were enjoying yourself. He was also greedy, wanting the moment to last for much longer than it had.
This had cemented the fact that he does, in fact, really like you.
After kissing you, the whirlpool living in his heart had now fully transformed into a tiny hurricane — with great chances of growing even bigger.
Minho only notices the game has continued upon hearing your voice complaining beside him. He watches as Soojung shrugs.
“It’s the only thing I could think of, sorry.”
“But why?” Hyunjin asks, placing his cup on the coffee table. “It’s a stupid dare.”
The blonde girl scoffs. “No, it’s not. I’ve had to basically live with you two for the past year, and it’s common knowledge how easily you get a boner for her.”
“Not true,” Hyunjin retorts, although it sounds more like a question than an affirmation.
Eunha blurts out, “You once got a boner watching her stir a cake mix.”
Hyunjin opens and closes his mouth before groaning, pulling you into his lap by the waist. You apologize to him quietly, to which Hyunjin shakes his head with a small smile.
Minho feels as if he’s intruding on something private.
You sit on Hyunjin’s knees, almost falling off his lap as you clearly try to keep some distance between the two of you. Hyunjin clicks his tongue and pulls you closer to him until your back is pressed up against his chest. He whispers something in your ear, to which you lightly slap his arm as his lips upturn into a grin.
Minho is definitely intruding on something private.
At some point, you turn so you’re sitting across Hyunjin’s lap, your body now facing Minho. He can’t help but watch with dark eyes as the younger boy’s hands wander through your body; playing with the buttons on your blouse, squeezing your thighs, and caressing your skin a little too close to the hem of your skirt. He furrows his brows as he tries to understand your relationship with Hyunjin, seeing as you’re obviously not put off by his hands on your body.
Minho is so transfixed by the sight and his racing thoughts that he only realizes the game has ended when someone taps his shoulder from behind the couch.  When he looks back, Chan is holding a cigarette and motioning towards the stairs that lead to the house’s terrace.
In the chilly open space above the house, they sit on a bench behind a tall vertical planter. Minho wonders who tends to the garden as he observes the various flowers, as well as some vegetables and herbs scattered around him. The terrace is small; the garden taking up all the space, an old wooden railing that overlooks the quiet street the only other thing in his sight.
He and Chan chat about school and work, as they often do nowadays. After Chan recently broke up with his girlfriend, Minho found that his friend had become much more closed off, so the list of subjects they would talk about became minimal. Chan bites his thumb before taking a long drag of his cigarette. He chuckles when he mentions being scared of graduating next year. Minho bumps his shoulder with him, arguing that being in his situation is worse. He admits that he regrets starting university late and that being in his first year when he should already be in his third is discouraging. Chan dismisses his worries, reminding him of how Minho is often the one to fix broken codes and come up with ideas for their game whenever Seungmin gets stuck.
“A degree is just a piece of paper,” Chan says, throwing his cigarette butt at a nearby trashcan. “You’re already a fantastic programmer, Minho.”
“You’re just saying that because I saved your ass today.”
Chan shrugs. “You’ve saved my ass basically every day since we started working together.” After a beat of silence, he asks, “Why did you start uni so late, anyway? You never told me.”
Minho hums, digging his brain for a way to sum up the entire story. “It’s complicated—”
He’s interrupted by footsteps on the stairs leading to the terrace. A loud giggle echoes through the open space before you and Hyunjin step into their field of vision. The long-haired boy holds you from behind, and you two stagger toward the railing.
“Wish everyone would go home already so I could just fuck you,” Hyunjin whines as he turns your body around so you’re facing him. Minho almost chokes on nothing at those words, and Chan stifles a laugh with his hand. He curses the small space as they’re able to so clearly hear everything you’re saying.
You playfully kick Hyunjin’s shin. “Don’t say it like that, Hyune, what the fuck.”
“It’s true, though,” Hyunjin continues, pressing you against the railing. He towers over you, so the only thing Minho can see from where he’s seated is your white skirt floating in the wind behind the tall boy. “I had a stressful, terrible, awful, dreadful week. All I kept thinking about was coming over and relaxing with you.”
“See, when you put it like that, it doesn’t sound so awful.”
Hyunjin clicks his tongue. “There’s nothing awful about fucking. I know how much you like it, don’t act so coy.”
Minho watches as your hands clench around Hyunjin’s gray shirt, pulling him closer and kissing him softly, much like you had done to him a few moments before.
Minho presses his lips into a thin line. He connects every dot available to him inside his head and suddenly feels pathetic.
Hyunjin being too obvious of a choice for you to kiss, his hands all over your body, his words about fucking you, the way you kissed him like it was a habit.
If you had a boyfriend, why did you agree to kiss him?
The words swarm Minho’s brain. He vaguely recalls you and Hyunjin eventually walking out of the terrace. Chan starts a one-sided conversation about one of his classes, with Minho humming after every couple of sentences to appear like he’d been listening when his head is too busy wondering how to feel about everything.
Minho recalls Eunha walking up the stairs and shouting for the two of them to come downstairs to sing you happy birthday. He recalls Hyunjin’s hands wandering through your body throughout the song, his lips pressing small kisses on your face and lips as you smiled. He recalls feeling confused, stressed, jealous, and pathetic.
Minho is only truly back to the present moment once Chan’s voice bids him a loud goodbye, and the door slamming behind him makes his senses finally return to him. As he looks around, he notices that the only people left in the living room are Jisung, Hyunjin, and you. Beside him on the couch, Hyunjin stretches with a loud groan.
“I’m gonna take a shower. D’you have any of my clothes in your room?”
You sigh from where you’re sitting on the floor, resting against the television stand. “Of course, I do. You’re always living shit behind, you’re like our third roommate at this point.”
Hyunjin chuckles, walking over to give you a small peck on the lips before disappearing into your room. Minho gnaws on his bottom lip with a bitter smile as he realizes Hyunjin will sleep over at your house. The ugly feelings return as he remembers his thoughts about you these past few weeks when he unknowingly cultivated too big of a crush on you. Even on his way here tonight, when he had chuckled to himself at his lack of nervousness in the face of potential love.
Love.
Minho can’t help but wonder why your view of love is so negative when you’re in a relationship. And, at the same time, he doesn’t dare to think about it for too long, fully aware that his foolish affection-filled brain will come up with a myriad of reasons — all where your boyfriend is the sole culprit for your distaste — and Minho knows better than to let those thoughts linger for too long inside his mind. He knows himself all too well, knows only awful shit would come out of assuming things about your relationship; the urge to beat Hyunjin senseless for being a shitty boyfriend and making you think that way about love being the worst of them.
“I’m too drunk to go back to my dorm,” Jisung suddenly speaks, his eyes glazed over as he stares ahead. “Gonna crash here tonight, too.”
Minho takes that as his cue to leave.
You walk him outside, a small smile on your face the entire time. He feels guilty not being able to reciprocate the gesture. As you tell him goodbye, thanking him for coming, you pull him into a hug. You hadn’t hugged much since you met, and Minho foolishly wants to draw you closer to him, to feel your body pressed against his just as it was pressed against Hyunjin most of the night. But he can’t do that.
“Are you okay to walk back by yourself?” You ask him as you pull away.
Minho nods, forcing out a small smile. “My car is parked just down the block.”
“That’s why you didn’t drink!” You exclaim with a giggle, “I forget that most people our age already drive. My anxiety didn’t allow me the chance to even try and get a license, so I just accepted my fate of taking the bus.”
“I could drive you…” Minho trails off. There he goes again, being pathetic. “If I have the time… You can give me a call and I’d be happy to drive you anywhere.”
You smile at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into another embrace. Minho smiles genuinely as he buries his head in your hair.
The drive back home has Minho feeling stupid all over again as he thinks about how you’re probably in bed with Hyunjin by now. The whirlpool is back inside his chest, but it isn’t good or welcome this time. It’s agonizing and painful.
Love had never been painful. Love had never been bad.
But he had never experienced love toward someone who already loved somebody else. Although you brazenly state that you don’t believe in it, you must feel some type of love toward Hyunjin if you’re willing to be his girlfriend.
As he silently drives home, Minho finds himself agreeing with you.
Maybe love can be bad, after all.
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Minho feels stupid.
This has become a constant in his life.
He had always thought of himself as a logical person. Programming had taught him that everything is predictable and fixable if you work on it hard enough. A broken code? It may take him six hours of staring at the computer to figure out it was nothing but a missing semicolon, but he will get there in the end. It was annoying and frustrating, but it was always something easily fixed.
He thought love was like that. It had always been like that with him.
Until he fell for you.
Minho was coming to terms with the fact that maybe love and programming were nothing alike. Love isn’t predictable. Loving someone who is already in love with someone else isn’t easily fixed. He can’t backspace and delete your boyfriend from the equation.
It’s been a little over six months since you two first met. Minho has consistently gone to the café you work at every day, and you two still had endless talks over text messages. You talk about everything and anything, from silly things like sharing pictures of both your growing plushie collections or your love of that particular coffee shop’s lemon cake to more serious topics like how Minho learned how to cook when he was twelve so his mom wouldn’t have to do it by herself, and now his roommates take advantage of that, or how sad you are that next year you will have to leave the house you’ve grown to love so much.
But, whether it is in person or through text, you still avoid the topic of love. You don’t ever bring up Hyunjin unless he’s part of a story you were already telling, and Minho feels his heart heavy as he slowly allows himself to imagine what it could be that led you to hate love so much.
He desperately wants to ask you, know your reasons, and make sure you’re happy with your boyfriend. But he doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries and doesn’t know how to go about it without scaring you. So he never does anything, like a coward.
Minho finds himself coming over to your sharehouse on most weekends since summer break ended. Your countless get-togethers at that house have become a hard-to-break habit. Hyunjin, Jisung, and your roommates are always assured to be there, with Chan joining whenever he isn’t overwhelmed with work or school, which was rare.
Minho had always been a hopeless romantic, always doing things for love that people repeatedly warned would result in regret. This time, it was forgoing visiting his parents and friends back home just to spend most of his summer with you. Despite not being able to pursue you in the way he truly wanted to, Minho still wanted to be your friend. You were still a fantastic person he loved to have around; that didn’t change simply because you had a boyfriend. Although he could feel a bit of his heart cracking every time he had to see you, all while knowing he couldn’t do anything about his feelings for you.
He couldn’t change your perspective of love if he weren’t allowed to love you.
In all the time he spent at your house during summer break, he ended up becoming good friends with Jisung, as you tended to stick next to Hyunjin most of the time. Minho didn’t mind it; he is your boyfriend, after all. At least, that’s what he repeats to himself every night he comes over like a mantra as he almost masochistically forces himself to watch how Hyunjin kisses your lips and caresses your skin or how you play with his hair and snuggle with him on the couch. He also endures the countless nights he’s left your house knowing all too well that Hyunjin would be spending the night with you in a way that Minho can only ever dream about.
Tonight, in particular, Hyunjin seemed to be all over you like bees on honey, buzzing around you everywhere you went, his hands never leaving your body as he pulled you closer to him every time you even slightly pulled away. Because god forbid your bodies not be touching in some way for even a split second. Before he knows it, Minho is downing his third bottle of beer of the night.
From where he’s sitting on the couch, Minho rolls his eyes as discreetly as he can while he watches Hyunjin pull you to sit on his lap on the floor as you all get ready to play a game of cards. He gnaws on his lower lip because he knows he’s being petty and borderline childish. You’re Hyunjin’s girlfriend. Of course he’s all over you, of course he wants to be close to you, of course he wants you on his lap. Minho concludes with a bitter chuckle that he is, indeed, pathetic when it comes to you.
He gulps down more of the awful-tasting cheap beer.
The night comes to a close after far too many rounds of Cards Against Humanity, with Jisung winning more than half of them. His ethics and morals fly out the window the moment the cards are handed to him, as he manages to create the most absurdly offensive phrases known to men every single time. Minho found himself groaning and yelling at the younger boy as the alcohol took over his system. He doesn’t know how much of it was simply his annoyance at Hyunjin clinging to you like a koala throughout the entire game disguised as competitiveness.
He doesn’t think he’d like to know either.
Like every night he comes over, Minho is the last person to go home. He has to call an Uber, far too buzzed to want to sit at a bus stop all alone at this time of night. He hadn’t even noticed how he kept downing his drinks until he felt the familiar buzz of inebriation wash over his body a while before the game ended. Although slamming his fist into the coffee table with a whine about how he had only been given lame cards should’ve been a sign.
As he waits outside your house by the fence, he suddenly hears the door shut behind him and your voice calling out to him. He smiles at the faint slur of your speech and the way you drag out the last syllable of his name like you always did when you were a bit drunk.
“I told you to wait for me!” You reprimand, opening the gate to stand next to him. “Look how lonely you look here all by yourself.”
Minho just shrugs with a smile, shaking his head. He did wait. He waited almost half an hour after announcing he should leave as you disappeared into your room with Hyunjin. He was still waiting, in fact, only mindlessly scrolling on his phone for the past ten minutes instead of finding a ride as he hoped you would come outside when you saw he wasn’t in the living room anymore.
You poke his shoulder, bringing his attention away from his phone to your smiling face.
“Tonight was fun, wasn’t it? Especially that last round when Hyunjin won after being tied with Jisung for the whole game,” you grinned, “Seeing Jisung make a whole damn case about how much better his card was really made my night. Think that’s the first time I’ve seen him act like a law student since I met him.”
Minho chuckles, bringing his attention back to his phone. Seeing your smile and how your eyes light up while you talk about something you like brought back the whirlpool inside his chest, which wasn’t a pleasant feeling any longer. It made him glum to think how a once beautiful feeling had turned into nothing but discomfort simply because he was lovelorn.
He hums. “You must be proud to have your boyfriend put an end to Jisung’s annoying winning streak.”
“What do you mean?”
Minho looks up from his phone, eyes wandering through your puzzled face. He furrows his brows for a second. Maybe you’re both drunker than he’d thought.
“I mean, it must’ve been nice to see Hyunjin win after Jisung basically made us all want to quit the game,” he explains, watching as your expression turns from confusion into shock before you let out a loud laugh.
Minho’s eyes widen, worried your laughter might wake up your neighbors. He gently shushes you, his arm grabbing your shoulder, but your smiling face only makes his lips stretch out into a grin. He suppresses a giggle as you catch your breath, shaking your head.
Minho smiles at you so fondly he’s certain he looks like an idiot. “What’s so funny?”
“Hyunjin isn’t my boyfriend,” you explain like it’s obvious. “We’re just friends. I thought you knew that.”
Minho only then realizes he had never once heard you refer to Hyunjin as a boyfriend, nor had any of the people around you. But his assumptions weren’t so ill-judged, either. You two acted like a couple. It wasn’t so absurd to assume that you were one.
He finds himself staring at your amused face for a few seconds before forcing himself to turn his attention back to his phone.
You acted like a couple, but you were just friends. Minho groaned mentally.
“So, you’re like friends with benefits?”
“Yeah… I don’t particularly believe in love anymore, Minho. I thought you knew that from our talk a while ago,” You chuckle, shifting on your feet. “Hyunjin is one of my best friends. We just hook up ‘cause it’s convenient.”
Minho hums, his fingers ghosting over his phone screen. “Sounds like you’re running away from love.”
He blinks a couple of times as he takes in his own words. He would have never said such a thing if it hadn’t been for the liquid courage flowing through his veins.
You shrug, moving to sit on the white bench just outside the house. “Well, yeah, that is what I’m doing. Love hasn’t been kind to me at all. I have no interest in going after it, only to be hurt again. It’s a movie I’ve watched before and I hated the ending every time.”
Minho bites the inside of his cheek, finally clicking the button to find a ride, his thumb pressing on his phone screen more forcefully than he intended. He felt angry. You didn’t deserve to settle for a friend with benefits due to convenience. Had you wanted to be in that situation, it was your every right to do so, but you were in it out of fear of being hurt.
He felt sad. He wished you didn’t equate your past experiences with love to everything it could be. Bad experiences in love were possible for everyone — even for him, who used to believe unwaveringly that love could never be hurtful — but that didn’t mean it was all there was to it. Minho desperately wanted to show you that. The good side of love, the side that made him put it above everything else in his life on so many occasions, the side that made him crave it even now when it hurt more than it felt good.
And, strangely, Minho felt relieved. It was a small percentage of the chart of current emotions he was experiencing, but prevalent nonetheless. He would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he felt happy Hyunjin wasn’t your boyfriend and, most importantly, that you weren’t stuck in an unhappy or toxic relationship, as he had so often feared.
His ride arrives, and he’s overcome with a wave of courage. Minho would much rather live with regret than with a constant ‘what if’.
Shoving his phone inside his pocket, he offers his hand to you, who looks up at him curiously from where you’re sitting on the bench before taking his hand. Minho pulls you to your feet and hugs you. With his hand on your waist, he pulls your body closer to him, finally holding you tightly the way he’s always wanted to do. He presses a kiss to your head, bringing his lips to your ear and whispering, “I’m gonna change your mind.”
He feels your body shake with a chuckle, but he only tightens his hold on you.
“What?”
“About love, I’m gonna change your mind,” He answers matter-of-factly, “You deserve to feel love without being afraid.”
Minho pulls back from the embrace just enough to see your face, and he’s surprised to find you smiling up at him. He smiles back.
“I will change your mind.”
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Minho had just dropped you off at your house, ready to drive around aimlessly until he absolutely had to go back to his dorm, when Seungmin texted him.
Kim Seungmin: hey my sister’s engagement dinner is tonight Kim Seungmin: and i might have fucked up something in the code i was working on so now there’s a chance that you fish 100 rare fish at once 🤪 Kim Seungmin: pls pls do me a solid and fix it before chan sees it and kills me? Kim Seungmin: love you hyung 💚
Minho initially groaned at the messages, thinking of the many ways in which he could murder Seungmin and get away with it. But, ultimately, he didn’t want to go back to his dorm anyway, so he gladly turned his car around. If he was lucky, this would take hours and he would have a valid excuse to crash in Chan’s cramped living room.
He punches the code to the front door and his friend greets him with a puzzled expression.
“I forgot to do the, uh, troubleshooting for this week,” Minho blurts out. It’s the first lie he can come up with, and he hopes it’s convincing enough. Chan nods slowly. Seungmin might have saved him from having to endure his roommates on a Saturday night, but he still owes him.
“It’s all good,” Chan says with a sigh, “I’m most likely gonna pull an all-nighter designing these new characters. Anyway, how did you waste your time today?”
Minho has been taking you on what he likes to call Subtle Dates for a month now.
Chan affectionately calls them Waste of Time Dates.
Minho rolls his eyes, sitting down on his own desk. “We went to Han River and walked around till sundown, then watched the Banpo Bridge water show.”
Days like today were rare, so Minho was happy. Most weekends, it seemed as if the whole world was conspiring against anything he planned with you.
“Oh, how romantic of you,” Chan gasps, feigning amazement. “Did you at least kiss her this time?”
“You know I can’t just kiss her like that. I know she’d freak out if I tried to do anything romantic with her,” Minho taps his fingers on his desk, knowing he sounds ridiculous. But he has a plan. He just hopes this plan actually works out soon. “I don’t mind being patient.”
He hears Chan scoff. “So, you took her on another one-sided date and then drove her home so Hyunjin can fuck her?”
Minho’s fingers stop tapping on his desk, his hand coming down to slam on it before he can stop himself. He lets out a heavy sigh, and Chan mumbles an apology. But, the truth is, he knows his friend is right. Just last weekend, Minho dropped you off straight into Hyunjin’s arms, the younger boy waiting for you to come back in front of your house.
And Hyunjin wasn’t the only inconvenience that rendered it almost impossible for the two of you to spend time together. Minho had to cut most of your dates short due to Chan calling him about something urgent that only he could fix at work, or you canceled altogether because your roommate was upset and you didn’t have the heart to leave her alone like that. There were also times when Minho was too tired to even go out at all, like on the day of his birthday, which resulted in you coming over to Chan’s apartment and eating cheap takeout food with him and his two friends.
Minho found himself dealing with countless bumps in the road when it came to finding a way into your heart.
“I didn’t mean to say it like that,” Chan says hesitantly, “You clearly like her a lot.”
Minho repeatedly opens and closes the code he’s supposed to fix. He sighs. “I like her more than a lot, and I don’t even know when that happened.”
“I don’t want to see you get hurt,” His friend explains, his face disappearing behind his own computer screen. “I just can’t see what will change if you go on dates with her when she doesn’t even know they’re dates and if she’s just gonna go home and have sex with someone else. I don’t get it. What difference does it make?”
He can hear Chan scoffing, although he tries to disguise it by clearing his throat. Minho shakes his head.
“It makes all the difference because that’s not love. I wanna show her what love is, and that it isn’t always bad. I promised her that I would.”
Chan sighs, sliding his chair toward the mini-fridge by the couch. “Agree to disagree?” He asks, grabbing a bottle of water and tossing it in Minho’s direction. He grabs it mid-air, just before it hits him in the face, and clicks his tongue.
“Agree to disagree.”
Minho plugs his headphones into the computer, drowning out the noise of Chan’s pen sliding across his iPad with his brown noise playlist. But he can’t drown out the obstinate thought ringing inside his head, screaming at him that Chan is right.
Taking you out on dates — which you don’t even know are dates — doesn’t really make a difference if you’re just going to go back to your convenience with Hyunjin at the end of the day. If you think you’re just friends going out together, and you go back home at night to the comfort of sex without the love you’ve been running away from for so long, what Minho is doing truly is useless. 
It’s just like when he argues with Seungmin through their codes, screaming at the younger boy in all caps about something that’s broken, even though he knows he’s going to be the one who will end up having to fix it.
Minho’s fingers come to a halt on the keyboard.
Closing his work, he opens up Google and finds the first flight he can to Japan. Almost as if he’s on autopilot, and his brain is completely shut off. He books the flight and the cheapest hotel he can find, using almost all the money he’s saved up to move out of his hell of a dorm. It might be the most idiotic thing he has ever done in his life, but he’s so in love it hurts him. And he loves love, and love with you — the thought of that alone has his heart beating at his throat. He doesn’t want to keep on with these futile attempts at trying to make you see that love is good and that, maybe, love can be good with him.
The truth is, he feels scared. Maybe even more scared than you do. He is terrified of knowing the answer, of finding out that maybe he could change your mind about love but that it would simply lead you to someone else’s arms and he would have to endure the pain of unrequited love until it inevitably faded away with time.
Minho would gladly live with that pain if it meant you were happy.
But he needed to know.
He adjusted his glasses — a childhood nervous habit that returned after he started wearing them more often since you complimented him months ago — and retrieved his phone from his backpack.
He typed and deleted more times than he’d like to admit.
Me: Hey, it’s late sorry  Me: Just wanted to know if you’d be up for a trip to Japan? Me: In two weeks Me: For study purposes Me: We’d finally have the chance to use what we learned in class lol Me: Chan was supposed to go with me but he has a family thing so he can’t anymore Me: Everything’s already paid for and he said he doesn’t mind if you go in his place Me: Lmk what you think
Minho’s fingers typed as his brain came up with excuses and lies, sending more messages than he needed to. He couldn’t tell you he booked a whole damn trip with you just to see if maybe, possibly, you have feelings for him too.
He all but throws his phone across his table after turning on Do Not Disturb. He’ll need to muster up the courage before reading your answer, and having his phone buzz for anything that wasn’t your reply would just be torturous. He felt stupid, would feel even more so if you turned down his invitation. He almost doesn’t want you to answer, wants to pretend he never even sent anything.
Because it was stupid.
But love is stupid, and he is in love.
Worst-case scenario, he’s stuck with Chan in Japan for a weekend while he laughs at him.
Best-case scenario, he spends a weekend with you in Japan. No letting you go back to another man at the end of the day, no more hiding that he is taking you out on dates, no more distractions, no more inconveniences of your daily lives.
Minho opens the code he was working on again, quickly typing out:
// NOTE: Minho will fix this.
898 notes · View notes
savannahsdeath · 9 months
Text
thinking about dealer!ellie, but not the college-little one . . . one, that an innocent girl like you sees on a dark alley and she can't help but instinctively start walking faster. yet, it turns out, she's really a sweetheart when you give her a chance <3
warnings: daddy issues kinda ?? ellie can seem creepy at first but i swear she's not .. thats all for now
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you explored the darkest part of the city, the moonlight not brightening your way at all. you felt lost.
you always defined yourself as fatherless, it was the easiest way to explain the lack of a parent — people thought he died and didn't pursue the topic. after some time passed, you started believing your own lie. deep down, in a strangled part of your brain, you knew he's alive and well. but on the other hand, he wasn't — not for you, not in your life. why would he matter?
until he contacted you. he didn't show up in person, what at first made you think that he's... well, a pussy. but you soon realised it's actually analytical and mindful of him. you could act on impulse, say or do something bad. seeing him for the first time won't be easy. he gave you some time to think, so your emotions didn't get between both of you, and couldn't ruin your relationship from the beginning.
but he could at least leave you his phone number instead of the most complicated address, consisting of, not to be dramatic but, like a hundred numbers.
"can i help you?" you heard a feminine, yet hard and raspy voice.
the unforeseen sound made you jump, your heart beating like a little bird trapped in a cage, trying to get out of your chest. you couldn't let her notice how scared you were, though. you crumpled the letter in your sweaty hand. the yellowish paper felt humid, probably soaking wet from your moist skin.
"i don't think so." your voice trembled with the first vowel but you managed to regain your unbothered, callous posture right after.
"this..." she gestured at the ground and area around you — dark buildings that looked empty, yet you felt watched, in plain sight. "this is a bad place for girls like you."
you nervously cleared your throat, deciding to ignore her opinion, and continued on walking. but you could still hear her echoing footsteps.
"i think that— you shouldn't be there. and you don't want to be there." she crossed her arms.
once you gave up and turned around, you were left surprised by how pretty she was. your expectations were— well, on a way lower level. she looked masculine and you could see the curves of her muscles through her clothes, yet you weren't feeling precarious nor apprehensive by her presence anymore.
"actually," she continued, "i know that. it's painted all over your face. one glance in your direction and i already sense the discomfort."
you sharply inhaled, the air hissing in your nostrils as you mumbled an annoyed "god" under your breath. "are you always like that?"
"no." she shook her head and pursed her lips in a thin line, before realising what you meant and chuckling. "not at all. but you should be fuckin' thankful." she untangled her arms and shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans. "c'mon, what are you looking for?"
you pinched your nose bridge and closed your eyes with a huff, because why did she have to be so damn persistent and perpetual? but she seemed able to help you, so in a slightly complaining—dissenting tone you murmured your father's name.
and her stubborn smirk faded, her gaze shifted between you and the letter in your hand. "who are you?" she asked, emphasizing each syllable, as if she was talking to a child.
you were dubious and skeptical on what you should say nor should you admit the truth, you just shrugged. a hesitant, mistrustful raise of your shoulders, which even deepened the girl's frown, knitting her eyebrows together. "i dunno..."
"you can't be a sluuu— sorry, a prostitute" she thought aloud, actually considering this option.
"why?" your expression glowered as you scowled. oh, so your father is associated with call girls, how nice! "don't answer. whatever. just— take me to him."
"i can't." she defensively raised her hands. "you could be a... fuck, i don't know, a spy or something!"
"don't be stupid" you scoffed and couldn't help but roll your eyes. "i'm his daughter."
she gulped and her eyes widened. "daughter?..."
✧˖°
PART 2 IS OUT !!
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sc0tters · 7 months
Text
Always His | Jack Hughes
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summary: you were always meant to be jack's even if he didn't deserve it.
request: yes/no
warnings: sexual themes, swearing, slight degradation, p in v, oral (m receiving, hints to f too), mentions of alcohol.
word count: 6.47k
authors note: this was literally all written today so sorry if it is rushed but I wanted it out before the game (yes we manifested a bit in it) but this is too feed all of the girlies who needed it after the jack content that has come with the stadium series. to the anon who wanted jack and lukes best friend I hope you like this! our honourable mentions today though are @babydollmarauders for picking this plot (cause I'm indecisive) so lets than her for this one coming when it did!
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You knew it was stupid coming to New Jersey this weekend. 
Jack hadn’t stopped arguing with you since you arrived and Luke thought that he had woken up in some fever dream where his best friend and brother were at odds. You had been around the Hughes family for the last twelve years so it was no surprise that you and Luke grew so close. Being at Umich too it only then on solidified that friendship and everyone swore you were bound to be his one day. 
But what they didn’t know was how complicated your past was with Jack. He was always the hot older brother that probably put up with you for the sakes of Luke. So last year when you were at the lake house soaking up the much needed vitamin D, you seemed to finally break Jack. 
Not in the sense of emotionally, but you went from being Luke’s best friend to Luke’s hot best friend almost over night. No longer was Jack stopping Trevor’s little flirty comments to you because they were weird, now he wanted to be the one to say them instead. Yet Jack managed to keep his lips shut all the way until your final night at the lake house. 
Almost everyone was asleep in the house as the clocks struck 3:19 which meant that nobody noticed when you and Jack were down by the pool table “you are gonna get me in trouble Blossom.” Jack had called you that for years after a Halloween party where you and two of your friends ended up as the power puff girls. 
It made you smile as you looked up to see him staring “not doing anything wrong Jacky.” You pointed out as you shook your head “you sure about that doll?” He asked letting out a gasp as your ass went into the air as you potted the ball. 
A smirk formed on your lips as you stood up straight “pretty sure.” You watched him take two big steps across the table and before he knew it he was right by your side “think you need to change your answer.” He clicked his tongue when his hands clung to your hips. 
The power dynamic had switched as Jack had you swearing you were dreaming “you shouldn’t-” you warned as his lips hovered over yours letting any bit of self restraint leave your body.
Jack scanned your face as he looked for any kind of actual discomfort “tell me you want me to go upstairs without you.” He was amused as he knew he was pushing your buttons in just the right ways. 
As your silence made him think that he had gone too far so as he began to pull away it seemed to trigger your mind. Your hands were quick to cup his cheeks bringing his lips onto yours. 
Whilst your tongues fought in this needy battle Jack didn’t hesitate to push you onto the pool table letting his hands fiddle with the waistband of your shorts “Jack.” You moaned feeling his teeth graze over your lower lip. 
His pupils were blown as they stared directly at yours “I got you Bloss.” The hockey player mumbled as left a trail of hungry kisses down your jaw. 
Your legs swing as they hang over the edge of the table “if you aren’t gonna continue then I need you to stop.” You announced feeling yourself get hot under his touch “because I won’t be able to stop myself if you don’t.” Your breath hit the shell of his ear making him grunt. 
Jack used little strength to pick you up as your legs locked around his waist “I want you tonight, all of you.” He mumbled kissing your lips again before he walked you both upstairs.
That night caused a fire to roar in your chest as the memories of his hands on your skin plagued your brain. But what you could never seem to shake was the way that he had left you to wake up the next morning all alone. The little evidence that he had been in your room was gone as his T-shirt that had been in your pile of clothes disappeared.
To say you were hurt was an understatement yet the final blow to your heart was that Jack hadn’t just left your room, he left the house. The middle Hughes boy made sure that he was  out all day only coming home once he was sure you were at the airport. What made it all that much worse was that he wouldn’t even respond to your messages. 
So after a week of trying to get answers from the boy, you stopped caring. You hated how much you had to care about it. Nights were spent avoiding your friends and their nights out as you stayed in your dorm to watch the devils play. You tried so hard to hate him but you couldn’t, and that’s how your friends ended up pulling you out of your rut. 
It wasn’t pretty to put it lightly. You were a mess and needed a change which your friends were sure to give you. Jack watched from afar as things began to change. It started with your hair and then before he knew it you were in these tight outfits that had were flashed around your Instagram as you grew closer to the male athletes on campus. 
As much as, he wanted to be jealous Jack knew he had brought it on himself. Luke was confused as he watched you step away from him, avoiding all in person contact when you knew that Jack would be there too. 
That only worked for so long though as February finally came around and you were left out of excuses to send Luke as to why you were avoiding him. That’s how you landed up on the flight to New Jersey. Of course Jack had no clue you were coming as neither you nor Luke went to offer the boy the courtesy of telling him. 
Luke didn’t hesitate to pick you up the moment you were in arms reach of him “Lukey!” You squealed as you were thrown over his shoulder “put me down!” You groaned feeling him almost lose his grip on your legs. 
He laughed as he placed you back on the ground “gosh I’ve missed you so much.” Luke mumbled as he pulled you into a hug “too much.” It was the classic bone crushing hug that he loved to give you. 
The boy was quick to let you go as he smiled “you’re gonna love the boys.” Luke squeezed your hand as he dragged you through the airport not giving you a chance to respond. 
Nerves began to crawl through your body as you found yourself regretting leaving Michigan as you got to the door of the apartment. Jack’s laughter could be heard from inside and you tried your best to act as if it wasn’t terrifying you “you okay?” Luke’s voice was barely a whisper as he saw how your eyes were wide.
You could try to lie to him. You could have tried to say that you were tired or ready to see his family. But Luke knew you like the back of his hand and he would have seen through your lies “just thinking about this weekend.” You were thinking about seeing Jack again but thankfully Luke brought it. 
He squeezed your hand once more before he unlocked the door “you took forever!” Jack complained as he dropped his phone into the couch as he locked eyes with you “Bloss.” His eyes grew wide as you tucked your hair behind your ear. 
Luke lugged your suitcase into the apartment “hey Jack.” You chewed at the inside of your cheek as all of the emotions that you felt the day he left you come rushing back to you “why are you two being weird?” Luke had watched you both grow comfortable with each other over the summer so now as you stood in tension laced air it was suffice to say that the youngest Hughes noticed. 
Jack sat up as he shook his head “just didn’t expect to see her here.” The center wanted to pay little mind to the fact that the last time he saw you, the sun ran through your half drawn curtains and hit your sleeping face to make you look beautiful “think mom said she wanted to talk to you though.” Jack lied handing the youngest Hughes boy his boy before he grabbed you by your arm.
It made a level of panic set through your body “I’ll show you around though.” His tone had him clearly irritated as pulled you into the kitchen “what the fuck are you doing here!” Jack whisper yelled pushing you against the counter top as he sent you a glare.
Your palms grow sweaty as your brain disconnected itself from the rest of your mind “didn’t realise that I fucked you dumb.” He spat as your silence only seemed to piss him off more than “Luke invited me.” You explained crossing your arms as you sent him a scowl.
You watched him process your response as he rolled his eyes “and you decided to come to this of all things?” You knew Jack could be cruel but you had never seen it in person before “Luke started to think that I was mad at him.” You shrugged him off knowing that the answer was more than likely not what he wanted to hear.
As his laugh echoed in your ears you were proved right as you found yourself growing more embarrassed by the second “you start worrying about your friend?” His taunts came as a never ending attack “yes Jack because I’m not a total ass like you.” You spat quickly coming to terms with the fact that the night you spent with Jack was only ever going to be a mere memory.
The boy ran his fingers through his hair as he let out a groan of frustration “just stay out of my way this weekend?” You were unsure if he was asking or telling you to do that but as you saw heard Luke hang up on the call with Ellen, you didn’t want to wait around with Jack “don’t have to tell me twice.” You grumbled pushing past the hockey player as you hit his shoulder on the way out.
At the family skate session came along Jack had to watch you make good on your side of the agreement. Every guy but Jack were privy to your attention but it seemed that as you struggled to skate in a straight line Nico found his place next to you. The interactions were nothing beyond innocent as Nico wanted to know why this was his first time the team was meeting the girl that Luke wouldn’t shut up about. The questions then had to turn to the fact that that Jack had stopped skating as he was now staring daggers at his teammate “should I be worried that Jack is looking at me like that?” Nico’s voice was barely above a whisper as he whispered that into your ear.
You turned to see Jack until he locked eyes with you which made him quickly turn away from you both “Jack is just Jack sometimes I guess?” You let out an awkward laugh “thought it would have been Luke who would have had us all banned from talking to you.” Nico didn’t think much more of it and you were grateful for that as he was quick to pull your attention to Luke in the middle of a media session.
Thankfully for you that was the most you really saw Jack as he made sure to avoid you, the only interactions you ended up having were when he came into the kitchen for his morning coffee and you were still half asleep on the couch. It wasn’t a reality you enjoyed but you assumed that it was the universe’s way of sending you a bit of karma for sleeping with your best friend’s brother. And you stupidly thought that you would be able to get through the entirety of the weekend avoiding Jack, yet Saturday night brought a different story.
The team went out to celebrate the win with their family and friends but you ended up wanting your bed - or in this case your couch - as you wanted to make little effort in trying to communicate with Jack “you sure you don’t want me to take you home?” Luke honestly wanted to spend his time with you and he didn’t mind if that meant leaving the team “no Lu, you go have your fun.” You squeezed his shoulder as you shook your head.
Ellen and Jim were stood waiting for you both as Jack was nowhere in sight “I can get an uber back to yours if you give me your keys.” You held your hand out ready to get your way “I’ll take her home.” The offer made you freeze as the hairs on the back of your neck stood up.
You didn’t even want to turn around as you knew he was looking at you “glad to see you can still be nice Jack.” Ellen teased as she hinted to the fact that she knew something was going on between you both as neither one of you could offer anything more than a glare to the other “you know me.” Jack placed his hand on your back as you chewed at your cheek knowing that Luke was studying your reactions.
He sent you a final look before he kissed your head “I’ll see you when I get home okay?” Fearing what you might let slip from your lips you nodded sending Luke your best smile “have good night you two.” Jim wrapped his arm Ellen before the trio walked off.
The moment they were out of earshot you began to walk off “where do you think that you’re going?” Jack asked as he crossed his arms “home.” You yelled back not daring to turn around.
Jack couldn’t help but roll his eyes “the car is this way.” He pointed to behind himself as it finally made you turn around “I am walking.” You quipped back making his eyes go wide as he took the short few strides to get back to you.
His grip around your wrist was sore “like hell you are.” Jack wanted to kill you for being so stupid. New Jersey at night in the cold was dangerous for anyone, especially for a girl who didn’t know the state. It made you grow angry as he acted like he cared “this is me staying out of your way so why do you care?” You let your brows form a fine line as you glared at him “look if I drive you home we can talk about it there.” Jack let out a groan as he didn’t think that you would be putting up a fight with him for this. 
Your mind swayed back and forth as you knew that Luke would want you home safe “fine.” You sighed as you raked your fingers through your hair “gad to see you can still use that brain of yours.” Jack mumbled as he was honestly relieved that he didn’t have to carry you back to his car.
The ride was probably the most awkward thing you had ever been through. Your eyes were locked to your window as you refused to look in Jack’s direction. He was also irritated as he gripped the steering wheel, Jack played the moments from the lake house over in his head.
It was barely 6:00 when Jack woke up, the foreign aspects of the room around him reminded Jack of the events from a few hours ago. Soft breaths left your lips as you snuggled into your pillow “why’d you have to go ahead and be Luke’s best friend.” Jack sighed as he stared at your sleeping state “could have made my life so much easier if you didn’t break his tooth.” You and Luke became the best of friends after you both ended up laughing once Luke got a softball to the mouth when he offered to help you practice for the upcoming season. Jack always did envy his brother for getting you and he buried those emotions through acting like you were irritating.
Quinn’s voice echoed through the hall as he was on the phone to Olivia who was in Europe awaiting her boyfriend’s arrival “thanks for the night Blossom.” Jack kissed your forehead, careful not to wake you up as you began to stir in your sleep. The middle Hughes boy did his best to ignore the way that guilt consumed his mind. With one quick movement he took his clothes off of your floor as he sent you one final look before he snuck out of your room. 
He felt like he was in the middle of a back and forth with himself as he sighed; this wasn’t something he could do again because as much as you might have been good for him, Jack knew he wasn’t good for you. And that was enough for him to make sure you didn’t have a reason to argue with him, it’s the very reason he made sure he wasn’t home when you woke up.
As you let the apartment door slam shut behind you Jack was pulled away from the memory, as happy or sad as it might have been. You headed straight to the kitchen “don’t walk away from me!” Jack dropped his keys in the bowl by his table as he scoffed “you did it to me first.” You were quick to quip back as the words rolled off of your tongue.
It made Jack scoff “that’s not fair.” He shook his head following you into the room as he was now ready to open the can of worms that you were angling to “you want me to tell you what isn’t fucking fair Jack?” You took a step closer to him as you swore that his words were cruel.
You felt tears form in your eyes even as you refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing you like that “having to wake up alone and get treated like the biggest mistake of your life.” Your voice broke by the end of your words as you didn’t think you would have the power within yourself to hold it together “so you don’t get to stand here and act like I’m being some brat for no fucking reason.” You spat as you went to leave yet you were pulled back by his hand around yours. 
Jack cleared his throat as he sighed “I did it to protect you and Luke!” It was no secret that Luke would have been heart broken if he knew that there was something going on with you and one of his brothers, that was a line you were never allowed to cross unscathed. 
Yet his words didn’t bring you the comfort he would have hoped for as it made you roll your eyes“don’t roll your eyes at me.” Jack scowled closing the gap to nothing between you both “or what?” You grumbled still agitated as you were left wanting to slap him. 
The middle Hughes boy clicked his tongue “I’m not against fucking this bratty attitude out of you.” He warned making you scoff “what about protecting Luke?” You weren’t against using his words from just a few second ago against him as they ran off your tongue. 
Jack laughed as he ran his fingers through the ends of your hair “seems like he can handle sharing you so well already.” His voice was laced with envy as he remembered watching you hold onto Nicos arm for dear life and Luke didn’t even bat an eye at it. 
You knew it was truly wrong to admit but you were now feeling flustered “so this is all cause you couldn’t handle me getting a little male attention?” You cocked your head as you fiddled with the ends of your sleeves “you got a lot more than a little.” Jack’s voice was barely above a mumble. 
Your eyes locked onto his as a smirk formed on your lips “not from anyone that mattered.” It seemed to be the line that got to Jack as he brought his hands to your cheeks as he kissed you. 
It wasn’t like the lake house when it was full of lust, this time it seemed that frustration drove that kiss. Milliseconds went by until you had your hands under his shirt trailing up his skin as if this was clockwork in your brains. He let his hand move to the nape of your neck afraid he might lose you if he didn’t hold you. A moan left your lips as his other hand squeezed your ass letting him slide his tongue into your mouth. 
He truly never thought he would be the kind of guy who could find himself obsessed with how sweet someone could be. No longer did you have the taste of the cheap beer that Trevor bought on your tongue and now you were like an addictive substance to Jack “fuck you’re such a pretty fucking girl.” He groaned pulling his lips away from yours as he picked you up letting the actions mirror those of the night at the lake house. 
A squeal left your lips as you steadied yourself on him with your arms around his neck “shame you had to not be in my jersey though.” The hockey player mumbled as he pecked your lips taking the short walk to his room with you in his arms. 
The moment you two walked in there you let your foot shut the door as you didn’t want to break the kiss “you get me in your jersey when you don’t act like a child.” You announced remembering the fact that Jack had been watching you in all of Luke’s merchandise and clothing all weekend. 
You were unsure if what you said was right when he practically threw you to his bed “was gonna treat you like a princess tonight but it seems like all you wanna do is keep on acting like a brat.” Jack sighed as he pulled his coat off of his shoulders “and we all know that brats don’t get rewarded.” He leaned down letting his mouth ghost your ear. 
Your gasps went straight to his cock as it grew hard against his jeans “then why am I here for you?” It was a blow that made him tug his fingers in the roots of your hair “god are you always this fucking talkative?” Jack spat as he rolled his eyes “really think I need to shut you up.” He mumbled to himself hating how you pushed his buttons and that he actually enjoyed it too. 
His nimble fingers undid his pants letting them drop to his knees as Jack let his hand wrap around his aching cock whilst he pumped it a few times “you remember our safe word?” The hockey player wasn’t a monster and make sure you had a word you could use if he pushed you too far “Ace.” You nodded feeling your mouth water at the sight of his precum oozing out of his swollen head. 
Jack watched you take some kind of initiative as you moved your hips closer to the edge of his bed only stopping when his cock was merely centimeters away from your face “you look so pretty down there.” The compliment made you squirm as your tongue began to do these kitten licks to his cock peppering kisses on the swollen tip “c’mon Bloss you know how to use your mouth properly so don’t start with this shit.” Jack warned as he reminded you about the last time that you had sucked him off.
That was all it took for you to force your lips around his cock beginning to take as much of him as you could “that wasn’t so hard now was it my sweet girl?” He spoke through gritted teeth as you began to settle on a steady rhythm with your hands going flat against his thighs “let me see your pretty face as you suck my cock f’me.” Jack cooed running his fingers through your hair as he made a makeshift ponytail up as his hands helped you take more of him.
Your tongue swirled around his cock as you looked up at him through your batted eyelashes “tried playing nice and like a good big brother when I could have had all this.” Jack grumbled letting his grip around your head tighten as he grew annoyed “cause you just know you’re my little slut ain’t ya Blossom?” Your thighs came together to suppress the desire that came through your mind as you hollowed out your cheeks.
Even if you had only slept with him once before this you knew how to get Jack to the point of no return and that was through turning your mouth into a vacuum of sorts “god you’re so fucking good at this.” Jack groaned as he shook his head as his eyes screwed shut “just like that and then I’ll fuck you real good.” The offer didn’t go missed even as you opened your throat to take more of him.
It was that gesture that sent him over the edge as his body began to shake “you gonna let me make a mess in that pretty little mouth of yours?” He asked surprising himself that the question even came out of his lips. All you could do was nod in response as the sounds of you gagging around him and the warm feeling of your mouth practically sucking him like a straw were enough to push Jack over the edge “right there f-uck!” The hockey player kept your lips wrapped around him for a few more seconds forcing you to breathe through your nose as he began to get control over his breathing again.
Your mouth felt warm as his cock slid out of your mouth leaving your jaw sore “lemme see you swallow that f’me doll.” He mumbled softly placing his hand around your throat so that he could feel you swallow before you stuck your tongue out. Jack watched in awe as a string of spit left his lips and landed on your tongue as you brought it back into your mouth pressing your lips shut “good girl.” He good bending down to peck your lips.
He was reminded on the 43 jersey you were in and that brought a scowl to his lips “think it’s about time I get you out of this.” He added as he shook his head still cringing at the fact that you were in someone else’s jersey “you jealous or something Jacky?” You teased as his fingers ran over the waistline making you lift your arms up.
Jack scoffed as he rolled his eyes “ya cause I’m gonna be jealous of someone else when it’s me who get’s to fuck you at the end of the night?” The hockey player could have laughed at the absurdity behind your words “I could have any man that I wanted.” Even you were unsure of your words as you were left in your bra.
It made him smirk as he crouched to be eye level with you once more “you could have anyone.” He nodded as he took in the sight of the lacey bra against your skin “but you choose to fuck me each time it seems.” You didn’t know how he did it, Jack could take your insults to him and fully flip them on It’s head.
The hockey player ran his finger up your chest from the valley between your breast “don’t go getting in your head now Blossom.” He pleaded as he hooked his fingers under your chin as he forced you to look at him “you gonna let me make you feel good tonight doll?” It seemed that his pet names for you were in full use tonight as if he feared that he would never get the chance to use them on you ever again.
Yet it was so much more complicated than that as you nodded “make me feel special Jacky.” You begged as your voice got caught in your throat “you are forever my special girl Blossom.” Jack mumbled as he stripped you out of your pants and undergarments leaving you fully nude whilst he still had his shirt on “this is mean Jack.” You complained making him smile.
He pressed his lips against yours as he his hands came down on either side of you “just like seeing how wet you get for me.” He confessed eating up the way you whimpered in response “don’t even think that I need to get you ready for me.” The boy confessed as you nodded before he leaned back up to pull the shirt off his body when he kicked his pants off “need your cock.” You begged feeling his fingers run up and down your slit spreading your wetness over your clit “when you ask me so nicely how could I say no?” The question was rhetorical as the sound of him ripping open the condom wrapper was like music to your ears.
Your legs on impulse came up as your heels pressed against your ass “look at you getting all ready f’me.” Jack cooed as he rolled the condom over hid hardening cock “been thinking about doing this all weekend.” He confessed as he ran the covered head over your slit and down your slit before he stopped it at your glistening hole. 
His eyes never left yours “yet you had to go act like-“ you were quickly cut off when Jack bottom you out leaving you both silent as your cunt stretched to hug his cock “I act like what?” Jack’s lips found your neck as he began to nip at the skin making you moan.
Jack gave you a few seconds to settle into it before he began moving again “like a fucking asshole.” You moaned bringing your hands up between your bodies as you went to tease your breasts “those are mine Bloss.” He shook his head “and since I’m such an asshole ‘m not gonna share.” It was a quick movement that had your legs over his shoulders as he arched his back allowing him to bring his lips to your nipple. 
The feeling made your eyes flutter as his cock hit parts of you that you truly didn’t think were possible “just like that Jack.” You whispered digging your shoulder blades into your bed as you moaned “why are you so quiet?” It was like he wasn’t okay with that as he rolled his eyes “got the whole fucking apartment to yourself so I wanna hear you tell Jersey who is fucking you like this.” Your cunt clenched around him as his words brought this new possessive sense over him.
It made Jack smirk as he brought his lips back up to yours “you enjoy it when I tell you you’re mine?” You weren’t sure if he actually meant it but those words from his lips made you feel like you were dreaming “so so much.” You nodded as he kissed your lips finally tasting his salty release on your tongue that made his cock throb all over again.
The chain that he was wearing from his pregame outfit was still on and it hit your chin as Jack began to quicken his thrusts “wanna make such a fucking mess in your cunt.” His hand softly slapped your thigh as you bit your lip “remember I wanna hear you or I stop.” His warning was all too serious for you as you felt your coil in your stomach begin to tighten. 
A flurry of moans and incoherent sounds left your lips as you panicked “you fuck me so good.” Was the only thing he understood before you let his chain get trapped between your lips “you getting close pretty girl?” Jack asked as he let his hand trail between your two sweaty bodies feeling your cunt practically suffocate his cock.
Your head bobbed as he took it as the chance to increase the pace of his thrusts only resulting in a cry that left your throat feeling raw when his fingers began rubbing at your clit “theres my sweet girl.” Jack cooed as the sound of skin slapping echoed in your ears “Jacky ‘m gonna come.” You announced as your legs began to shake trying to trap Jack in your grip. 
He shook his head “fucking hold it.” All Jack needed was a little more as he could feel himself not far behind you at all “please!” You begged not knowing how much more of this you could take as it felt like al of the air within your lungs had been taken from you.
His lips were rough against your jaw “told you to fucking hold it.” Jack spat clearly not interested in your complaints as your fingers tugged through his hair “fuck baby you are perfect.” He grunted as you tried to kiss him needing something to stop you from begging and pleading with him to make you come as you feared that you might then not come at all tonight.
You didn’t even stop to notice his words as they were shortly followed by “make a mess on my cock Bloss.” You didn’t need to be told twice and you felt your eyes roll back into your head as your cunt practically spasmed around his cock “fuck fuck shit!” You groaned letting your toes curl as tour body writhed against his.
Jack’s orgasm shortly followed yours as he tried his hardest to fuck you through yours “got you my girl.” He mumbled kissing your shoulder blade as he went to rest his head from a moment when his movements stifled. You both lay there for a few moments trying to catch your breath “holy shit.” Your chest heaved as he slid out of you making him laugh.
The sight of your release oozing out of your cunt made Jack feel warm inside “holy shit in deed.” He nodded in agreement pecking your lips before he got up “think you are up for a bath?” Aftercare did happen to be something that Jack was surprisingly good at but these were stops he only ever pulled for you.
You nodded as you sent him a soft smile “always.” As he picked you up and brought you into the bathroom it was no secret that you were close to falling asleep and Jack was honestly surprised you held out on shutting your eyes until you got dress and was tucked back into his bed where the warmth of his covers took over.
As you woke up with an arm still firmly gripped around your waist you couldn’t help but blink repeatedly gaining your bearings of this foreign room. A soft groan left your lips as you rolled over to see Jack smiling back at you “hey Bloss.” His words were soft as he ran his hand up your side. 
You sent him a dull smile as you yawned “think I need to get up.” You went to lean forward as the center stopped you “told Luke you went for a run.” Jack handed you back your phone as he didn’t want to lean over you again to continue charging it. 
The boy went to kiss your lips but you were only confused as you looked at him “you know my password?” You tried to remain calm as there were definitely a set of lingerie pictures that you did not want him to ever see. 
Your worries made him laugh “you’re gonna have to pick something a little bit harder than your birthday if you want to act shocked.” Jack teased making your cheeks turn red “you’re cute when you get all flustered.” He added delivering the compliment as though it was liquid gold. 
His fingers were rough against your jaw as he hooked them under your chin “what are we doing Jack?” You sighed pressing your hand against his chest as you feared not having the strength to say this to him tomorrow. 
He frowned as he looked at you “I was gonna kiss ya.” The hockey player pointed out in a duh tone “I mean this.” You motioned between the two of you as this was the second time you landed up in his bed in eight months. 
The boy sighed as it was clearly something he didn’t want to talk about “why does it have to be anything?” Jacks words struck you like a slap to the face “you said you liked me last night.” Amid all the arguing you still remembered his confession. 
Jack watched you sit up straight as you were met with his silence “let’s just keep things casual.” Jack meant what he said about being worried about hurting Luke and you were still in college and over an hour away by plane. He wouldn’t say this part to you but he was also scared of committing to you and having it stay that way. 
Your entire body cringed “so you can continue fucking every little puck bunny that lays her eyes on you?” It was a low blow but you were hurt “firstly I haven’t slept with anyone since the lake house.” He pointed his finger at you making you go quiet. 
He continued on “I wanna scream that you’re mine from the roof but now just isn’t the right time for us to get serious.” Jack knew how to make you turn to putty in his hands “you’re right.” You didn’t even know if you agreed with him.
But as he flipped you over leaving you on your back you couldn’t say no to him “of course I am.” Jack nodded letting his lips nip at your skin. 
It made a breath catch in your throat “now stop using your pretty little head and let me make you feel good.” He ordered pushing your shirt over your stomach “please Jack.” Your voice was airy as you felt him pull your legs apart letting him face your soaked cunt. 
You couldn’t help but wonder as you watched Jack lower his head, if he was truly stupid enough to think that you would wait for him.
But in reality, maybe it was that you craved his love enough to stay, so what would happen when a certain Wolverine began to play his cards right with you?
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