#it’s just so ooc but i can almost see him (as a jedi) doing it to entertain the younglings

[autumn-opossum]

I was just minding my business listening to music and I suddenly imagined Dooku doin a little old man dance to the music I was listening to and I’m not sure I’ll ever recover

[the-far-bright-center]

In discussions of TCW-Anakin vs. film-Anakin, I understand why some people see them as being incompatible or entirely different portrayals. But whatever problems I personally have with TCW are more to do with certain OOC dialogue lines that I don't agree with, or the overly-contrived situations that TCW tends to force him into just so an episode or scene can function as a 'meta-commentary' on his character or storyline. Believe me, I have issues with specific aspects of TCW's writing for Anakin, but the fact he's more outwardly 'suave' or 'dashing' than some people expected is not one of them. If anything, I see the 'Skyguy' persona as perfectly in keeping with Anakin as portrayed at the beginning of RotS, and I would argue that a great deal of the TCW characterisation is pulled directly from those Battle of Coruscant scenes. (TCW Anakin is also heavily inspired by Jake Lloyd's Little Ani in TPM, which, lest anyone forget, counts as FILM-Anakin.) The actual baseline 'persona' for both versions of the character isn't actually that different, and I'm tired of this idea that film-Anakin ISN’T supposed to be seen as ‘cool’ in-universe, just as much as I’m tired of the idea that TCW-Anakin ISN’T supposed to be viewed as a figure of pathos by the audience, either.

Imo, they’re both takes on the same character coming from different angles, set at different stages in his life, and portrayed through different mediums (animated series heavy on self-aware, darkly ironic humour in a more contemporary style intended to entertain and increase enjoyment of the Prequels-era and its characters vs. serious Greek tragedy with Shakespearean overtones made with old-Hollywood-style sensibilities as part of a mythic six-film saga). Just because TCW Ani doesn’t shed literal tears on-screen doesn’t mean he’s not emotional or emotionally vulnerable. As far as I remember, there's even a scene where Obi-Wan and Anakin discuss the fact that Anakin has trouble keeping his emotions hidden, which is the opposite of the 'macho' ideal the TCW version gets accused of being. And the amount of times we're constantly bashed over the head with dramatic irony about his fate as Vader in that series surely drives home the point that his trajectory is still a tragic one. (The way he cries out in agony in the Mortis arc, 'I will do such terrible things!' gets to me, every time.) Despite his powers and prowess, TCW Anakin is even shown as being physically vulnerable at times, as well. (See the Jedi Crash storyline which he spends mostly knocked-out unconscious, the nod to his mechanical arm as a liability in the Zillo Beast and Citadel arcs, and the scene of him futilely struggling like a wild beast before being captured with ropes in the Zyggerian arc, or the fact he gets captured and tortured by Dooku in 'Shadow Warrior'.) Fandom makes endless jokes about TCW Ani getting electrocuted every other episode, but then turns around and uses this to fuel the dismissive view of him as just some dumb himbo instead of understanding that this, too, is supposed to add to the character's pathos.

Likewise, fandom claims that film-Ani is 'uncool' and 'cries all the time', which is simply not true. Film-Anakin banters, jokes, laughs, makes daring jumps out of speeders, does bold piloting moves, is in fact an imposing duellist, and so on. Sure, his character is not supposed to be seen as aspirational (obviously!) and the most memorable and dramatic moments of the latter two Prequels films feature him in the midst of extremely intense emotions. But the oft-repeated view of him as 'uncool' completely ignores the fact that by the time that RotS starts, Anakin is also supposed to be a well-known and widely-admired charismatic general, aka the Hero With No Fear, who is viewed as almost singlehandedly saving the Republic. The audience may be privy to Anakin's inner turmoil, but in-story he is supposed to be seen as THE golden boy of the Jedi Order and the Republic. The RotS novelization frequently mentions that Anakin has 'dash', 'boldness', and a 'presence' 'like the Holo-Net hero that he is'. It literally says he's the best at what he does and he KNOWS it. He's not just supposed to be some sad, awkward idiot like the fandom thinks he is (rather, he's supposed to be shown as falling from a 'great height'). By the time of RotS, film Anakin has just as much swagger and self-confidence in his role as General Skywalker as he does in TCW. Just because that side of him is not the main focus of the film doesn't mean it's not supposed to be there.

[aroacedindjarin]

I know so many people have said this already and in much more coherent ways than I can but the way luke was depicted in tbobf (and im not just talking about the uncanny valley cgi… why did they not just recast him orz) makes me so frustrated even now. Especially now. Maybe i’m just a delusional dinluker but i really really believe that luke skywalker needed to be in the mandalorian season3.

I cannot believe luke skywalker would make grogu choose between his dad and becoming a jedi. It is just so explicitly ooc for him. I’m reading the destiny path comic right now and there are so many pages that show luke struggling with the worry that he can’t be a Jedi because he can’t let go of his attachments to his friends. and i know this is a core theme of luke as a character, it’s not new, but the comic is just so explicit about it and goes into depth in a way that it doesn’t have time to explore on screen

It explores luke’s worry about disappointing yoda when he left dagobah to go help leia and han in cloud city, and how he feels about ben and yoda refusing to talk to him anymore or help him through the force because he didn’t make his jedi training a priority above everything and everyone else, like a Selfless Jedi should. and grogu goes through the literal exact same thing. and luke reacts in the exact same way yoda and ben did to him?

In the comic, the radio silence from his teachers eats at him so badly and adds to the struggle he’s going through after finding out Vader is his father and losing his hand. He feels abandoned and afraid and, even though these feelings lead him to realise he can make his own way as a jedi, I just don’t think he’d inflict the same thing on grogu. Even if i were to look at it from a perspective of luke being forced to make his own way without his teachers made him a stronger jedi - so maybe he’s doing the same for grogu?

After all, I know grogu is such a young child so I also understand the series tries to come at it from the angle of respecting a child’s wants and needs, not forcing him to commit to training if he doesn’t want to. But I just don’t understand why luke couldn’t join grogu every now and then. Teach him some jedi stuff on the weekends. They make it seem like luke has nothing better to do anyways, he’s got droids building his school for him and seems to spend his days entirely with grogu anyway. If he went back to tatooine with grogu at the end of tbobf, i just think there would have been so much to explore between luke and literally any of the characters. din and boba specifically of course but if that led to luke in mando s3 there could’ve been so much potential.

Perhaps they just needed a reason for a big emotional scene for grogu to choose his path and his destiny. Perhaps they couldn’t put luke skywalker in the show too much for fear of throwing off the sequels. There’s the argument that luke already had his screen time and, trust me, I also hate the re-usual of existing characters to the point where they’re wringed out of any substance and have been so fleshed-out and developed it’s almost grotesque to force them to stay in the show any longer. but star wars doesnt have a problem with that for so many other characters anyway.

I just wanted to see grogu growing up to be both a Mandalorian and a Jedi. It would’ve been so perfect with the Mand’alor Din storyline too. Grogu, the son of the Ruler of Mandalore and the student of the strongest Jedi in the galaxy, the start of a new generation and so much foundation to explore between Mandalorians and Jedi!!!!!!!

[betelgeuse-1988]

pale blue eyes: obi-wan/reader

hey so i fell in love with ewan mcgregor recently and proceeded to watch all of the prequels and started the clone wars. how dangerous! probably more obi-wan content in the near future. sorry if this isn't canon compliant...i don't know enough about star wars and i'm so sorry!! give me tips if you have any

obi-wan is also probably totally ooc and i’ve definitely disregarded the jedi code (bc screw the code!) but...i don’t care...obi-wan is too beautiful for that lmao. if anyone can handle a little temptation from the darkside and still be a good jedi, it’s obi

tags: smut, fluff, light angst, hurt/comfort, grief/mourning (mention of death), master/padawan dynamic (sorta), possessive sex/behavior, rough sex, marking (hickies), smoking, implied age difference, porn with feelings (and maybe plot), dirty talk

There was something oh so terrifying about being a Padawan. Of course, it was all you had ever known, but realizing that there would be a day when no one would be there to hold your hand as you traversed the daily experiences of being a Jedi was overwhelmingly terrifying. But, what was even more terrifying was the thought alone of losing your Master.

Actually losing her before you’d finished your training could only be described as unquantifiable.

Obi-Wan broke the news to you soon after reporting to the council after the mission on some outer-rim planet went wrong and led to several Jedi being killed. He spared you the details as you broke down in front of him, apologizing immediately for letting your emotions get the best of you. You tried your best to keep everything in, especially in front of one of the best Jedi Masters. Obi-Wan looked down the hallway before slowly walking you back into your quarters. He sat you down on your small bed, taking a seat next to you.

“I know how you feel right now, as I too lost my Master. But, you must remember your Master has returned to the Force. She has become something better and will always be with you. It will be difficult, but as time passes the intensity of your emotions will fade.”

You looked up into his blue eyes, the truth behind them reinforcing what you sensed in the Force. His statements were genuine, facts that had been seen in countless other Jedi who had experienced what you did; but, his eyes (and the Force) held a sadness that seemed as if it was too big and too fragile to even consider touching. Having heard some pieces of what had happened to Master Kenobi and his Padawan, it seemed as if he never had enough time to grieve. He never had time to consider what loss meant and how to deal with it. The words he spoke seemed to be monotonous, as if they were a mantra he thought to himself often. An attempt to rid himself of emotions that council members told him that he would be drawn to the darkside because of them.

“And yet,” you said, pausing to control your breathing, a few tears escaping your eyes now and then. “Those emotions will never go away, huh?”

Obi-Wan broke your gaze, sighing and rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m...I’m sorry, I’m not helping, am I?” He let out a sad chuckle before looking back at you. “It’s just...I know too well how you feel. And yet, I cannot bring myself to tell you that you must rid yourself of these emotions because they will lead you astray. I so wish that one person would have allowed me to feel, just for one moment.”

You take his hand into yours, unable to bring yourself to look him in the eyes. “You’ve helped me more than you know, Master Kenobi. And I only hope that you are able to take your own advice, too.”

“I will try, young one.”

After this moment, you found yourself drawn to Obi-Wan in the late hours of the night. Master Windu took over the last few weeks of your training before your trials. When you were not training or sleeping and Obi-Wan was not training his Padawan, you were together. This often caused you both to spend late nights in one of your quarters (most often his, as they were bigger). At first there was nothing sexual or even romantic about these meetings. They allowed you both to explore your grief and help each other control emotions most Jedi would consider distracting or unwanted. It was nice to feel safe in your emotions.

At least, until your emotions became romantic feelings for Obi-Wan.

This realization hit you like a podracer a few weeks after you became a Jedi. You had been given a mission to protect a queen from an outer-rim planet visiting Naboo for a week. The distance alone is not what caused you to realize these feelings. Obi-Wan and his Padawan had been sent on small missions in the past few weeks, causing you to go days without seeing him. Sure, you missed him, but training for your trials could fill the void he left. But, now, being away and nearly bored out of your mind in your down time was horrible. You felt a constant sense of longing and desire that you could only trace back to Master Kenobi. Your thoughts would drift back to late nights you spent with the sweet man who could comfort you with only a smile. Thoughts of running your hands through his auburn hair as you begged him to keep growing it out, especially with the beard. Watching his eyes flutter closed as you gave him a massage through his undershirt. He lets out little groans and moans, telling you to push harder in certain spots. Holding his large, calloused hand in yours as you cuddle close together on his bed. It wasn’t until the final day of your assignment that these thoughts turned sexual.

You laid in bed, too excited over going back to Coruscant and having a few days off. A half-dreaming vision formed in your mind of Obi-Wan laying in his bed. The image became clearer and you realized that his sleeping pants were pushed down slightly, his hand grasping his cock tightly. A moan slipped past his lips, the words he choked out indecipherable as he thrusted harshly into his fist. You attempt to will away this vision but it’s stuck--almost engraved--in your mind, drifting in and out like a boat rocking back and forth on waves. His thrusts seemed desperate, as if he had been attempting to reach his climax long before you created this vision. He moans again, this time it is clearer and louder than before: your name. It slips past his lips smoothly as he finally tenses slightly, forcing his hips upwards. Cum shot out of his cock as his thrusts stuttered to a stop and his hand took over. Some particularly thick shots hit his lower stomach, covering the hair above his cock. The rest flooded slowly over the tip and down onto his hand. He groaned all through his climax, panting once he had finished completely. Your mind often drifted back to these images as you fell in and out of sleep throughout the night.

Getting back to Coruscant was a welcome return home. After your report to the council, you saw Obi-Wan and Anakin waiting for you outside of the chambers. You found it difficult, at first, to hold Obi-Wan’s gaze as he greeted you.

“Hello, Master Kenobi. What are you doing here?”

“I heard you got back. If you’d like, Anakin and I would like to take you to Dex’s,” he says simply, a wide smile on his face. Anakin gave you a toothy grin, excited to gorge himself on greasy diner food.”How was your mission, young one?”

You smiled widely, slightly forgetting about the waking-dream that had been plaguing your mind. “Sounds like a great idea. I can tell you all about my mission over dinner, then, I suppose?” Obi-Wan nodded in response, a smile (albeit smaller) on his face mirroring yours and Anakin’s.

After dinner at Dex’s, Obi-Wan dismissed Anakin to his chambers (though, Obi would confide in you that he knew for a fact his was talking to his fellow Padawans late into the night, to which you would chastise him for doing the same thing with you) and invited you to his own to meditate. The walk there was quiet, yet comfortable. But, as you reached his quarters, you saw the bed that was ingrained into your visions from the night before. The panic and embarrassment ran through you, piling heavy in your stomach and causing you to stop in your tracks at his doorway. Obi-Wan took off his boots quickly and made his way to the large window at the opposite side of the room.

“You can come all the way in, y’know?” Obi-Wan said once he realized you had not followed, his tone light and playful. He was teasing you, like he always did, always a flirt. And yet, tonight, it made you nervous. You took slow steps towards him after taking your boots off by the door, meeting him at the window he liked to meditate at. “Are you okay? No witty comeback for your favorite Jedi?” He moved to cup your face but you turned away, noticing it was the hand he had so elegantly wrapped around his cock in your vision.

You looked back at him and shook your head, your eyes becoming watery out of embarrassment and fear. You knew you needed to talk to him before this got any worse. “C-can I talk to you about something?” He nodded, his face becoming serious, and sat down on the plush cushions he used to begin meditating. He patted on one next to him and you sat after taking off your cloak. You two sat almost too close, knees touching. You could almost smell him and could almost feel the calming warmth radiating off of him. “I...During my missions I was plagued by visions, Master Kenobi.”

He frowned slightly at what you said, worried about the potential dangers of visions Jedi see. “You do not need to use my title in my quarters, young one,” he said, calmly, so as not to scare you or make you feel he was reprimanding you. “But you can tell me anything. What were in these visions, young one?”

You sighed, attempting to muster the strength in admitting what you saw. Obi-Wan could sense your struggle and reached out to touch your knee gently. You placed your hand over his and squeezed gently, closing your eyes to center yourself. The minute you opened your mouth, the word-vomit flowed fast. “They were of you. They began as nice and comforting. Domestic moments. Like holding your hand or cuddling. I could see myself doing that with any friend. But...last night, it was sexual. I, uhm, watched you...pleasure yourself. Y-you moaned my name. Maker, I feel like I’ve used you, I am so sorry, Master Kenobi.”

“This happened last night?” he asked, blushing slightly under your curious gaze. You nodded slowly, unsure of where he was going with this. “Then I don’t think you were making these visions up, darling.”

Your jaw dropped, with Obi-Wan only smirking back at you. “W-what do you mean?”

“I think you saw me, somehow. I saw some of those visions you described earlier in the week, too. Perhaps we are connected, young one.” He looked at you processing what he just said and smiled. “I like you, a lot. I admire your work as a Jedi and I am so proud to see how much you have grown since I first talked to you that night your master died.” He moved the hand that was resting in his lap to cup your cheek. “I believe I have fallen for you. I am sorry that you had to see me in such an inappropriate state, however. I would understand if you didn’t want to be with me.”

“No! I mean, I do. I want to be with you. I never imagined that you would ever want to be with someone like me.” You smiled brightly, giddy about this change in your relationship with Obi-Wan. “And, if I may say, you looked quite beautiful last night. I am honored that you thought of me just as I have thought of you. Although, you have a much different imagination than I do.” The man in front of you blushed and chuckled brightly, almost proud of what he had done.

The hand on your knee tentatively moved further up your thigh. “Perhaps I can spark your imagination?”

You shifted to be on your knees, placing your hands on his thighs. You leaned close to him, almost brushing your lips against his. You were able to feel the tickle of his beard on your face as you whispered out, “Perhaps I can fulfill yours?” You pressed your lips against his as he shoves his hands through your hair, tugging on it slightly. Even as he moaned, you tasted the strawberry milkshake you shared with him at Dex’s. But, as you kissed him deeper, tongues exploring each other’s mouths, you tasted tabac, causing your mind to wander. You never thought of Obi-Wan indulging in the toxic substance, but you can’t bring yourself to be surprised. Images of Obi-Wan shirtless, just-fucked and sweaty, his hair a mess, flooded your mind. A cigarra hung from his mouth, barely hanging on to it as he took puffs from it.

A nasty habit Obi’s voice rings through your mind, almost embarrassed, I can’t seem to kick it, young one. I hope you aren’t angry.

You pulled away and cupped his face. Not wanting to ruin the tender moment of vulnerability, you kissed him lightly and projected your thoughts to him, I could not be mad at you. I find it shamefully attractive, but if you are ready to quit, I know you can.

He smiled into the kiss as you pulled away to begin stripping. “Allow me to help you,” he said, moving to push your robes off your shoulders as you took off the belt around your waist. You shrugged the robes off of you completely and threw them to the side, followed by your undershirt. Obi-Wan moved to help you take your pants off, but you stopped him.

“Allow me to help you, Master Kenobi?” he blushed and leaned back, copying your actions by starting with his belt. You help to shrug off his outer robes followed by his undershirt. You admire his chest, speckled with freckles. You pushed him down lightly, his back hitting his carpeted floor lightly. “You are truly beautiful, Master.” You kissed his chest lightly, kneeling at his side and helping him to shove his pants and undergarments off. Even though you had seen his member the night before, it was different in person and being able to see it uncovered by his hand. Semi-hard, all you could think was that it would look even more beautiful in the moonlight and neon lights streaming from the window. You flicked your hand, flipping the light switch by the door.

“I was going to ask if you liked what you saw, young one, but it seems I was wrong,” Obi-Wan hummed.

You smirked, taking his cock in your hands. “Oh, I do, but I am one for aesthetics and I would prefer to be fucked under the moonlight.” You jerk him off slightly, getting him hard. As your movements become a tad more difficult, you hold your hand up to the man’s mouth. “Spit, please.” He looked at you with a raised brow but spits. You rubbed it up and down his cock, making your movements much smoother. You squeezed lightly around his cock and he began to thrust lightly under your touch. You moved to lean down and use your mouth on his cock, but Obi-Wan stopped you.

“Let me get you ready so I can fuck you under the moonlight, just like you want, my young one.”

He moved you down to lay on the floor, pushing one of his cushions underneath your head. After helping you out of your remaining clothes, he shoved the other pillow under your hips, angling them upwards. He then kissed down your chest, as if attempting to kiss away the moonlight with how fervently he pressed his lips to your skin. Yet, as you pushed his hair back to get a clear view of his serene face, you thought he may be trying to pin down the moonlight to your skin. The way his gaze locked with yours showed how intensely he cared about this moment. His kisses acted as an attempt to encapsulate you in the light, an attempt to preserve this moment forever. You were not just another nightly escapade (not that either of you had many of those, both unknowingly too caught up in being smitten by the other). Rather, in this moment, Obi-Wan was declaring he was going to make love to you with each and every kiss pressed to your skin. The final kiss he pressed to your skin was your clit. Once this was finished, he began fingering you, stretching you with two fingers immediately and suckling on your clit. You gasped and moaned under his touch, fingers diving into his hair.

I want to make you mine, young one. After we began talking I wished I had fought with the council more to train you instead for the remainder of your time as a Padawan. Perhaps we could have been here sooner.

“Master Kenobi,” you moaned aloud. Not being able to form words verbally, you responded with the Force. How I began to wish the same. I suppose, then, I was always yours?

He pulled off of you, but added a third finger to his thrusts, smiling up at you brightly. “Yes. And I suppose I was always yours, then, too?”

“Yes,” you moaned out, high pitched, almost squeaking. You hummed and tried again, regardless of if Obi heard you the first time, “Yes, Master, you’re mine.” Obi-Wan’s smile somehow grew, but he quickly went back to working on you with his mouth. However, this time, he leaned more on his arm that he’s using to finger you. That way, his other hand was free to jerk himself off. You only noticed when he moaned against your clit lightly. “Master Kenobi, are you--”

Yes, he sent you, almost strained as if he was speaking, I think I could cum just by eating you out, I wouldn’t even need to touch myself.

“I wouldn’t want that,” you said, pushing his head lightly, “so why don’t you fuck me instead?”

He pulled his head up and smiled, “Anything for you, my darling.” He stood up, pulling you to join him, and guided you toward the bed, stopping by his drawers to grab a condom. Laying down on the bed, you watched him roll the condom over his cock and climb onto the bed with you. He kneeled between your legs, pulling up your leg to rest it on his hip. He used his other hand to grip your hip and pulled you towards him. You gasped, both at the sudden movement and his member pushing into your pussy slowly. “Such a good girl, taking me so perfectly. You can take me all, right, my young one?” You nodded your head fiercely, unable to form a coherent thought as he continued to thrust in and out of you, each thrust going deeper than the last.

Once he settled into you completely, your hands fisted his bedsheets roughly. “So full, you fill me up so nice, Master Kenobi.” You shifted your hips against him, attempting to get him to thrust into you. His grip on your hip dissipated as he moved to push down on them. You moved your hand over his, pushing down on it lightly while also gripping his hand.

“Is there something you need from your Master, young Jedi?” Your grip on his hand tightened as you nodded. “What do you need? You can use your words.” You blushed as you attempted to quantify what you wanted him to do. You attempted to shift your hips as the position became uncomfortable from being held for so long without moving. “Please, princess. I want to give you what you want, but I will not move until you tell me.”

“I want you...I…” you trailed off, becoming embarrassed for what you were trying to ask. You threw your head to the side and thought to him, I want you to mark me. I don’t care if it hurts. I want to know, as long as the bruises last, that I am yours. I want to hold on to this moment.

“Is that all, young one?” You nodded in response, trying not to embarrass yourself more than you felt you had. “There is nothing to be embarrassed over, sweet girl. I want to please you, and the only way I can do that is if I know what you want. Never be embarrassed when asking for what you want.”

You smiled as his hand moved back to your hip, his grip stronger than before. Timidly, you add on, “Can you also move, Obi-Wan? I...I need it.” He silently responded by squeezing your hip and thrusting into you. He quickly picked up speed, however, thrusting into you desperately. Obi-Wan shifts, dropping the leg he held at his hip to be able to lean over you. Moaning at the new angle, you wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping him close. Your fingers delved into his hair, tugging at it as he thrust into you just right. Obi-Wan moaned at that, flicking his hips faster in response.

“Where do you want me to mark you, hm? Maybe a place above your robes so all the other Jedi Masters will see and know you’re mine?” You tensed slightly under him, even as your pussy clenched. “No, darling? I didn’t mean to worry you. I will make sure no one can see.” Obi-Was pressed light kisses to your collarbone, as he had before, but quickly began to suck on your collarbone and lined it with love bites.

Too overwhelmed with the pleasure, you think to Obi-Wan, Perhaps another time, you can make them more visible. Let everyone know I am yours and yours alone.

He only hummed in response as he busied himself with bruising your skin. You shoved a hand between the two of you, rubbing your clit in small circles.

Am I not good enough for you, young one?

You stopped your movements and began to stammer out an excuse.

I am only teasing, darling. I want you to cum on my cock. And, you’re making it much easier for me to achieve that goal.

You both continued like this, attempting to reach your climaxes by pulling on Obi’s hair, him suckling on your skin to leave marks, and you circling your clit. Eventually, your legs tensed and you lifted your hips up towards him. You gasped, the inner walls of your pussy fluttering around his cock. “Obi-Wan, I’m cumming,” you exclaimed, moaning even more as you flung your head back against the pillows.

“Let go, love. Cum for me, show me you’re mine.”

Your hips stuttered against his, legs tensing and shaking on either side of the Jedi Master. He pulled up and off of you, shifting back onto his knees. He thrust through your orgasm, attempting to reach his own. He moved his hands again to grip your hips tightly, bringing you against him roughly. Obi-Wan moaned as he thrust into you as fast as he could, wanting to cum so badly. “Cum for me, Master. I can sense how desperate you are, n’ I wanna know I made you cum. You came inside your young Jedi’s cunt, all for her. Only for her.” His hips began to stutter irregularly against you as he came, moaning your name just as he did the night before. Obi-Wan eventually stalled against you, collapsing slightly. “After that show, you can put your full weight on me. You deserve it, and I don’t want you to pull out just yet,” You said, rubbing his head gently..

“I always had a feeling you’d be insatiable,” Obi-Wan chuckled. He leaned his full weight on top of you. It was surprisingly comforting, especially after his rough grip and bruising kisses. He snuggled into your neck, pressing sloppy kisses against it, as your hands settled at his waist. “I can only hope to completely satiate you, one day, I suppose.”

“You did perfectly fine, Obi-Wan. For now.” He finally pulled off of you, forcing you to come to his refresher with him to clean up. When you finally laid back down in his bed, both of you naked and comfortable in each other’s arms, you were too tired to do anything more than hum in content. Just as you were trailing off to sleep, a warm thought entered your brain.

I love you, young one. Never forget that.

You responded quickly, though you assumed the sleepiness that would have been present in your voice was also present in your thoughts.

I love you, too, Obi.

[jawabear]

Meet my eyes (Din Djarin x Reader)

Not my GIF

A/N: Here’s that Din smut I mentioned. I think that perhaps Din is a little OOC in this but I hope it still some what brings you joy. So I hope you enjoy it. I know I said it was a soft smut but it gets a tab bit rougher towards the end... Sorry for any mistakes. Stay safe. 

Genre: fluff, smut

Warnings: fem!reader, smutty things, oral (fem receiving), eye contact, maybe rough sex, tiny bit of angst at the end, but over all just plain old soft Din :)

Summary: Din has a new way, and he wants to see the love of his life with his own eyes

“Are you sure about this?” She asked as she knelt at the foot of his small bed. “This is a big step Din. I don’t want you to do it if you really aren’t sure”

He nodded his head rapidly “I’m sure (Y/N)” he told her.

What he was so sure of was having sex with the love of his life without his helmet on. She had seen his face more recently what with the child being taken by the Jedi to be trained in the Jedi ways. And they had had sex on multiple occasions, but she had always been blind folded, or he had kept his helmet and all other clothes on. She was only used to feeling him. But now he wanted to see her eyes with his own. And he wanted her to see how good she made him feel.

“Okay” she said a little breathlessly as she shuffled closer to him and placed her hands on either side of his helmet before slowly pulling it off his head. Doing it slowly so he still had time to change his mind and stop her before it was too late. But he didn’t stop her. He let her take of his source of pride to reveal his face to her again.

She placed the helmet on the floor and looked at him with soft eyes “I keep forgetting how beautiful you are” she whispered as she took his face between her hands and looked into his sweet brown eyes.

“I like it when you say that” he muttered, his cheeks flushing a light shade of pink in slightly embarrassment at the fact he liked when she called him beautiful. But he was beautiful.

“I like saying it” she smiled as she stroked his cheeks with her thumbs. He leaned into her touch. His eyes closing for a brief moment before they opened again to meet hers. “Because it’s true”

She brushed her fingers across his forehead to move some stray hairs away from his skin. “Kiss me” he whispered. She complied immediately, pressing her lips to his in a sweet kiss that he adored.

He pulled off the gloves from his hands, tossing them somewhere in the box room, before reaching up to grab her face to keep her lips on his for as long as possible. “Let me get you out of your armour” she whispered against his lips as her hands slid down his body to his chest plate.

He nodded but pressed his lips further against her making her smile “you have to stop to allow me to do that” she giggled.

He let out a noise of protest before reluctantly pulling away from her lips and standing, helping her in ridding him of his armour and underclothes until he was left in just his dark grey boxers.

Her eyes roamed his body, taking in every single inch of him that she could see. He was even more perfect than she had imagined. He stood there and watched her gaze admire him.

(Y/N) hesitantly reached out her hands to touch him. Her fingers were feather light when they finally made contact with his skin, before he flattened her palms on his chest. “Din...you are so perfect” she whispered, her hands now being the ones to roam over his torso.

For a moment, neither of them said anything. She just went about feeling his body whilst he stood there and let her, basking in the way she touch him and the way she looked at him. “I love you” he whispered to her.

She tilted her head and looked at him “I love you too. I love every part of you Din” she kissed his lips softly before trailing her kisses down along his jaw and to his neck. He lifted his hands to gently grab her arms.

“(Y/N)” Din whispered breathlessly “p-please. I want to see you”

She slowly pulled away from him and nodded. She took a step back and began to take off her clothes dropping them to the floor by her feet. She didn’t have nearly as many layers as he did so it took her less time to be naked, although she still wore her bra and panties.

Now it was his turn to admire. Although he had seen her body before, this time it felt different. Perhaps it was because they were all of a sudden equal. They were both seeing the same thing. Or maybe it was that she looked so much more happy at being able to see every part of him.

But he walked over to her and fell to his knees in front of her. He placed a kiss on her stomach and wrapped his arms around her. “You are perfect. You are an angel” he told her.

“Din...” she whispered bringing her hands to run through his messy hair. His lips trailed down her body. Skipping over her crotch and instead landing on her thighs. He kissed all the way down to her ankles before going back up.

Din looked up at her as his kisses moved to her inner thighs. His kisses became slower and softer as he drew closer and closer to her clothed pussy. His eyes never left hers. He kissed her covered clit making her bite her lip but then gasping when his tongue licked over her covered slit. “Din” she gasped.

His fingered hooked into her panties and pulled them down to her knees before grabbing her hips and attaching his mouth to her wetness. Her mouth fell open, her head was flung back and her fingers tugged at his hair.

“Look at me” he grumbled against her. With great struggle she managed to tilt her head down to meet his gaze with heavy eyes. “Look at me because you can...”

Their eyes stayed locked on each other’s as he continued to eat her out, her fingers gripping his hair tighter. Her eyes struggled to stay open at the immense pleasure he was giving her. Each time her eyes would even get close to closing he would drag his teeth along her clit making her eyes shoot open. “D-Din” she whimpered as she felt her climax nearing.

“You going to come?” He muttered, his tongue flattening against her slit as he nosed her clit making it next to impossible for her to keep her eyes on his. She nodded her head rapidly as he teeth sunk into her bottom lip, almost deep enough to draw blood. “Look at me when you come” he told her.

His tongue was relentless against her. Flicking her clit every which was possible as her thighs began the shake. Had it not been for his firm grip on her hips she would’ve definitely fallen to the floor by now. “Fuck-Din” she moaned. He grip on his hair was almost painful and drew a low groan from him which sent vibrations through her body. In turn, pulling her over the edge of pleasure with a loud cry of his name.

Din happy sucked down all she had to offer, electing cute little whimpers from her as he pulled her through her climax. She couldn’t help but close her eyes as she relished in the feeling. Once he was done drinking her down, he stood back up. Her eyes fluttered open and looked up at him through her lashes. He loved the way her eyes were blown almost completely black with lust. He hated that this was what he had been missing all this time. This look. This look would be the death of him. And he couldn’t wait.

She took his face in her hands and slammed her lips against his. One arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him while the other rested against the wall beside her head. “Let me fuck you” he mumbled against her lips. She only nodded in response, letting out a small noise of want.

He let out what sounded like a growl and hoisted her legs up around his waist before carrying her to his bed and gently laying her down and climbing on top of her.

As he was kissing her, he began rolling his hips against her, his covered dick rubbing deliciously against her slit making her moan into his mouth, he did the same. “(Y-Y/N) I...” he cut himself off with a groan “I want to..fuck you but...this feels so good”

“Then keep going” she encouraged him “keep going. Make yourself come”

“Yes..” he whispered. He lowered his head into her neck as he rolled his hips harder against her. Her fingers slid back into his hair and tugged his head up.

“But look at me as you come” she ordered him softly. Din whimpered and nodded, his forehead falling against hers, their noses bumping against each other every so often.

His breath began to pick up, panting as his hips got fatter too. Low growls sounded from his throat, a sign she had come to know, he was close to his end. “(Y/N)...” He whined, she could feel his dick twitching against her soaking pussy, her wetness seeping through his boxers onto his equally soaked dick.

“I’m right here Din...” she assured him gently, she slid one hand down his back, ever so lightly tracing his skin making him shudder. “Come for me Din”

His eyes managed to meet her, the soft but lustful look in her beautiful eyes was enough to make him come. He let out a broken moan as he soiled his boxers with his come. His hips slowing down as he rode himself through his high.

“Let me fuck you” he said again in a low gravely voice. He sat up on his knees looking down at her as he pushed down his boxers.

“Maybe you should rest a little” she told him knowing that he couldn’t always go again straight after he came. But it seemed that even though he did in fact come, he didn’t come quite as much as he usually did.

“No..” he said with the shake of his head as he dropped his boxers to the floor and spread her legs “want to fuck you..want to make you come..” he lined himself up with her entrance and slowly slid himself in, easily gliding into her due to the insane amount of slick she had. He repositioned himself above her, taking her hands from his back and his hair and holding them above her head, his fingers laced with hers “going to make you come...”

Her mouth fell open and she let out a silent moan as he began pushing himself in and out of her at a steady pace. Her head rolled back and her eyes slid shut. He shoved himself into her harshly making her gasp and grip his hands. He did this again and her eyes shot open, that was what he wanted.

Din dropped his head to hers again, his harsh hot breath hitting her face as he thrust into her “and you’re going to watch me” he mumbled “you’re going to watch as I fuck you...as I make you come...”

“Mhmm” she nodded her head and bit her bottom lip. Her heavy eyes looked into his as he continued to fuck her. His small room being filled to the brim with moans, whimpers, grunts and groans, the sound of skin on skin, lips on lips as he drove himself into her. “Hmm-Fuck Din..gonna make me come”

“Yeah...let me make you come...please let me make you come” he grunted and shifted his hips slightly so that the head of his dick brushed against that sweet spot inside her that always had her submitting to him. (Y/N) cried out when he hit it over, over, over again. Her walls began to pulse around him as her mind started to turn hazy. She could barely focus on anything other than the immense pleasure he was giving her.

“D-Din” she whimpered, her eyes rolling shut.

“You’re close” he mumbled. He was being a lot more vocal that usual, but she didn’t care, she loved it. She loved hearing his voice, hearing the way each work rumble through his throat followed by some sort of sweet moan or grunt of pleasure “look at me when you come” he copied her earlier order and she, with great struggle, managed to open her eyes and look at him again. “Good girl”

That name was enough to send her tumbling over the cliff into pleasure. She almost screamed his name as she came. Her nails digging into the back of his hand, her legs wrapping around his hips to keep him inside her, encouraging him to come within her. “Fuck Din!” She cried “come Din! Come inside me!”

With her walls tightening around him and fulfilled look on her pretty face, it wasn’t long until he came again, shooting his full load into her this time. A line of broken moans and words fell from his mouth in a mess. He smashed his lips to hers again, shoving his tongue into her mouth, sloppily running over every corner of her mouth. Her walls were still tight around him, milking him for every thing he had to offer. She was never put off by the amount of which he came. She accepted every last drop.

His hips came to a stop but he didn’t pull out of her, mainly because her legs were still wrapped around him, keeping him in place. He pulled away from her lips and looked down onto her dazed face. He loved the rosiness of her smooth cheeks, how heavy her eyes were, how swollen her lips were. But he was willing to bet he looked to be in a similar state.

“I love you Din” she whispered to him “I love you so much. You are so perfect, so beautiful”

“I love you too (Y/N)” he said. He let go of her hands and wrapped his arms around her as he pay on her chest, his head nestled into her neck under her chin. “You are my everything” she brought her hands down to trace over his back again making him hum. “Don’t leave me alone...I don’t want to be alone anymore”

“I won’t Din. I won’t leave you. You’ll never be on your own again” she promised him before pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head and hugging him tightly in her arms.

12/01/21

Taglist: @linkpk88 @phoenixhalliwell @lunaserenade @harrys-stan (let me know if you want to be taken off or added to the list)

[iknowwhattosaynow]

Writing asks! 7, 20 & 26 (for Kanan and Hera)

7. My favorite tag: WHY is Kanan alive? BECAUSE SHUT UP, that's why. 20. Generally, I only work on one at a time...which turns into ridiculously long fics. I take breaks on occasion to write filthy smutty one shots while I'm doing it though. How it works? FUCK if I know. 26. I think what I consider OOC when it comes to Kanan & Hera is anything just gratuitously and nauseatingly fluffy. Like, you can have some fluff, but here's my take on why flower shops and shit just doesn't work with them: Hera has never known anything but war and she is single-mindedly obsessed with destroying an entire Galactic Empire. Homegirl was flying relief missions at 14 years old, spying on Imperial refineries at age 10 and trying to convince her father that she could fight, and sometime before age 10, she'd lost a brother. She ditched her absent father and her homeworld at 18 to go sniffing out the Empire's shit from talking to people on the holonet. She had zero childhood and she put every piece of what she was into becoming a pilot and fighting the Empire. To me, Hera is more of a 'I don't need to be cuddled but if you need to be cuddled, I'll cuddle you' kind of girl. She doesn't say things that are sweet and fluffy all the time because she's seen what happens to a man when he loses the woman he loves so I think to a degree she even fears being in love, even if she can't deny being in love with Kanan*. *That being said, I never think she actually withheld saying the words to him until the minute before he died. That's bullshit and I have like at least one solid way to prove that she said it to him before he died. Kanan? Dude was pulled away from his family probably at six months old, doesn't even know what planet he is from or who is parents are and he'll never get that opportunity because there's no Jedi archives he can access for that. He went from dreaming of being a Jedi and raised with always having enough food and structure and all the good Jedi academy stuff to his Master D Y I N G so he could live. At the age of 14, he was a war veteran that he had to change everything about what he was and forget about what he'd dreamt of being; of the thing he'd been training for almost his entire life. He spent months being miserable and hyper-focused on how of the Jedi Masters died. When that didn't work for him (along with things like eating out of dumpsters), he became a womanizing, carousing, bar fighting, Force denying, drunk. Then he got all drunk on Hera™ and got in one good fight with the Empire and even though he was still reluctant to get involved with all of that he was still like "I pick this one. Forever.*" Literally, somehow the man got all strung out on the Tw'ussy and decided that being a Jedi maybe wasn't that bad of an idea. *See: A New Dawn, where he decides like three times in the book that he, the guy who avoids long term relationships or friendships, will follow her anywhere forever. Out of the pair, he's definitely the more cuddly one - he didn't have parents, he had the order. He hasn't seen the consequences of a man losing his wife. He was raised to be fearless and I think that fearlessness manifests in how unconditionally he loves Hera and he's perfectly fine saying it aloud like it's no big deal. Also, he's fine if Hera doesn't like cuddling but he likes to be cuddled so she'll have to cuddle him. THAT BEING SAID: Some of the like super fluffy stuff for them just makes me cringe. They just don't live in a time where they can be super fluffy. Do they make googly eyes at each other when nobody is looking? Absolutely. Do they hold hands in the cockpit while the kids are in bed? Yup. Does he smack her on the ass when he passes her in the corridor when they're going in opposite directions? OF COURSE he does. Does she love to play with his hair while they're lying in bed or when he's in a mood? Listen, if Hera Syndulla had her own hair to play with, the Empire would have won. Are they space married? Fuck yeah. Do they have glorious sex? ALL. THE. TIME. Do they love each other like crazy? DUH. Do

they do cutesy things like buy each other presents and go on a date just to go on a date (they literally schedule sex time in my head...that's their closest thing to a date) or have an actual wedding when they get married? Fuck no. Like, would a marriage proposal be Kanan being on one knee with a ring and all of that gross gooey conventional shit? That should be a trigger warning on a fic to me. Even if you put them in an AU where their lives never sucked, then they just turn into a random Twi'lek named Hera and a hot human named Kanan - because their experiences make them who they are and form their personalities. They're just not gratuitously fluffy people to me. ;TLDR My answer to 26 is Fluffy.

[multi-obsessed-fanfic-writer]

Worries (Anakin x gn!reader)

Author’s Note: here you go! Sorry it’s so short. But I hope you like it! And I hope Anakin isn’t too ooc, I’m trying to get him down as a character since this is my first time writing for him. And I always love constructive feedback! It helps me get better as a writer :) Love you guys and thank you!

Requested?: Yes, by @queenaxyn: “For the Anakin request, maybe something fluffy where he and the reader (can be gender neutral) sneaking around and seeing each other, the reader having returned from their own mission with injuries and Anakin helping them patch themselves up? This is pretty overdone but I'm a sucker for worried Anakin 💕”

Summary: Anakin helps patch you up after you get hurt on a mission.

Worries

Anakin Skywalker x gn!reader

Word Count: 935 (short but sweet)

Warnings: none, really?

You wince, pulling yourself out of the ship just behind Obi-Wan. You had just landed back at the Jedi Temple from your last mission. It was you, Obi-Wan, and a unit of clones. Multiple clones had gotten badly injured, so no one noticed that you had gotten a blaster shot to the arm. It didn't matter, though. You knew you could patch it up yourself back in your quarters.

“Good work, everyone. The mission was a success. You’re all released to go about your business for the night.” Obi-Wan instructs with his usual air of confidence. You chuckle and turn away, setting a hand over your upper right arm to shield any eyes from the blood seeping through your tunic.

You make your way back to your quarters, sinking onto your bed once you arrive. You sigh heavily and pull out a wet washrag. You shakily start dabbing the area around your wound, wincing every time the rough rag meets your tender flesh. 

“(Y/n)?” You hear a voice outside your quarters. Using the force, you slide open your door to reveal Anakin standing there, worry written all over his face.

“Hey, Ani. Be sure to shut the door, you know we can’t be seen together like this.” You try for a smile only for it to drop almost immediately as the washrag brushes against your wound again. You hiss, almost dropping the washrag.

“Never mind that rule. I sensed that you had gotten back from your mission. Are you okay?” Anakin steps forward into your quarters, the door closing behind him. You nod slightly, setting the washcloth on your lap.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.” You give him a tight-lipped smile. You love Anakin, you truly do, but sometimes you don’t want him to see you so vulnerable. He was always so strong, why couldn’t you be the same for him?

“You’re bleeding, (Y/n). That doesn’t look fine to me.” He frowns, staring directly at your wound. You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose with your not hurt arm.

“I said don’t worry about it. I’ve got it under control,” You force out, grabbing your washcloth again. It’s then you notice how shaky your hand is as you try to press the cloth on your wound, clenching your jaw at the pain. 

“Here, let me help.” In an instant, the rag is gone from your hand and Anakin is kneeling on the ground next to your bed. He tenderly presses the cloth around your wound, wiping the dried and fresh blood from your arm. He does it much softer and swifter than you were.

“Thanks,” You say meekly. You let a breath out that you didn’t know you were holding. You force yourself to look forward, not being able to take the intensity in Anakin’s eyes as he patched you up.

“You have to be more careful next time,” Anakin pleads as he applies bacta spray to your wound. In a moment, your wound feels completely fine again.

“Why do that when I’ve got you back here to patch me up?” You give him a lazy grin, watching him climb onto the bed next to you. He gives you a look.

“I’m serious, (Y/n). What if something happens to you on a mission and you never make it back to me? I worry about you sometimes.” He grabs your hand in his.

“Just sometimes?” You ask, giving him a small smile. At this, you see the corners of his lips turn up slightly.

“Okay, all the time. But especially on missions. You’re too selfless, and a lot of times that turns into recklessness,” He murmurs, rubbing soothing circles on your hand. 

“That’s rich coming from you, Skywalker.” You quip. 

“Why don’t you ever go see a medic?” He changes the subject.

“Why do that when I can just patch it up myself? Or better yet, have you do it?” You muse, giving him a cheeky grin. His eyes screw shut in slight annoyance. You’re not taking him seriously and it’s upsetting him.

“(Y/n), please. I’m trying to have an actual conversation here and not banter. Listen to me,” His eyes glance up into yours, holding a new intensity to them that you hadn’t quite seen before.

You reach out with the force and brush against his force signature, getting chills when you do. He keeps eye contact the entire time, knowing that you’re reaching the realization.

He’s genuinely worried about what he would do if he no longer had you. You’re everything to him. You’re his world.

And he’s yours.

“Anakin...I’m not going anywhere. I promise. If you really want me to start going to the medic, fine. I love you. I’ll do anything for you. But, please, promise me that we’ll both start trying to be safer. I don’t know what I’d do without you, either.” You murmur, laying your head on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around you, pulling you close to him.

“I promise. For you.” He presses a long kiss to your head.

“Now, can we lighten the mood a little bit?” You ask, the intense conversation kind of getting to you.

“Of course, my love. Do you want to cuddle?” He asks, releasing you from his grasp to lay down. Your eyes light up and you lay down next to him, snuggling into his side as his arm finds its place around you once more.

“I love you, Anakin.”

“I love you more than you will ever know, (Y/n),” He presses a kiss to your lips and whispers once more, “more than you will ever know.”

[dotnscal]

BAD THINGS HAPPEN FILL - TAKING THE BLAME

this is my first ever fill for @badthingshappenbingo ! the prompt was obi wan + taking the blame -- it sort of ended up being very oddly cody centric, but i still hope you enjoy!! also send more prompts (characters or ships!) they’re fun!!!

fandom: the clone wars, prequel trilogy

featuring: cody, obi-wan, and a bit of anakin

words: 2.9k

“Cody breaks the news about casualties to General Skywalker. Obi-Wan steps in.”

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29349840

OR READ IT HERE! :

disclaimers: i know NOTHING about war and it shows. no idea how battle strategy works so if you know anything about that... close your eyes for that part.

anakin might be ooc. he has issues and in this case they come from a good place but they’re just... misdirected

have fun reading! send me prompts!!

also if you want to read with italics and fun formatting please read on ao3. it is 1:23 am and i want to post this but i have class at 10 and no energy to add italics into this </3 sorry i love you </333

Cody takes a deep breath, straightens his posture, and reaches forward to turn on the holo.

Almost immediately, blue light flickers to life in front of him, casting the inside of the empty command tent in its glow. It might have been enjoyable to look at—far more enjoyable than the mud and dirt Cody’s been dealing with for the better part of two weeks now, at least—but what takes up his attention are the two figures now projected before him, one with arms crossed over his chest, the other standing at attention a step behind and to the left.

“General,” Cody greets, the eyes under his bucket glancing from one figure to the other. “Captain.”

Under more relaxed circumstances, he might’ve risked using the name of the man he’s known since birth, the brother he’s fought beside for some time, now—but these aren’t relaxed circumstances, and Cody’s better than most at sticking to formality.

“Commander,” General Skywalker greets, the corners of his lips turned down in noticeable wariness. If only he knew. “You have a report for us?”

Right to business. It’s necessary, in a campaign like this, but that doesn’t make it any easier to brace himself for what he’s about to disclose, or for how he knows Skywalker will react. He takes a moment to breathe in the safety of his bucket, the solitude of the command tent, before he nods an affirmative.

“Yes, sir.” Get it out, Cody, just get it out. “We managed to take the hilltop about two standard hours ago, and the Separatist forces have been drawn back to a new front. However, we… encountered strong resistance, and we suffered severe casualties as a result.”

It was already silent, but now, tension seeps into the air. Behind Skywalker, Rex shifts almost imperceptibly— imperceptible to anyone who wasn’t a brother, maybe, who didn’t know him so well, but Cody sees it, and he, too, braces himself.

Skywalker doesn’t miss a beat, frown deepning. “How severe?”

It’s moments like these that Cody is beyond glad for his bucket. “Severe, sir,” Cody repeats, unwilling or unable to say much beyond that. He hasn’t even written the formal report yet, the casualty forms and the requisition requests for the new shinies—he’s just coordinated the digging of the graves, the making of the memorials. “It wasn’t—”

“Commander,” Skywalker interrupts, a certain intensity to his eyes that Cody’s seen only a few times. It still makes him feel breathless, and not in a good way. “I want a number.”

A number. Cody has the numbers in his head, has already committed them to memory, but speaking them aloud…

“Fifty-three confirmed, sir,” he says, as evenly as he can manage to. “One hundred thirteen unaccounted for.” Idly, Cody remembers that he’ll need to start organizing the search effort for the bodies, once the burials are done—if they’ll even have time for a search effort before their next deployment, but Cody hopes they will, hopes they’ll be able to find and bury each brother properly—

“How many from the 501st?” Skywalker’s voice is curt, and Cody sighs a silent sigh.

This had been his worry, at the outset of this campaign. With their own numbers down, the GAR had approved the 212th to temporarily borrow some of the 501st’s men—men who were now dead, who had died away from the brothers that meant the most to them.

Kriff it all.

“Twenty-nine confirmed,” Cody managed, ignoring how dry his mouth, his throat, felt. “Seventy-two unaccounted for.”

Something changes in Skywalker’s expression. A flicker of something Cody’s only seen once or twice shines in his eyes, in the sudden stiffness to his body. The first time he’d seen it, he’d quietly patched into Rex’s HUD channel, asked if there was something that he needed to know about the General, if Rex needed transfer forms—but he’d been promised that everything was alright, that whatever was going on with Skywalker, it wasn’t being taken out on Rex.

Unfortunately, it looked like the time had come for it to be taken out on Cody.

“Commander.” Deep breaths, Kote. Skywalker stands stiff as a tower, arms crossed firmly over his chest, lips almost in a scowl as he stares at Cody as though he’s nothing at all. “Do you want to tell me why my men are dead?”

It comes from a good place. Cody knows this. Skywalker cares for his men, the same as Kenobi does. Rex has told him as much, and any man in the 501st would promise the same. Only he cares for them differently, and it’s a difference that Cody isn’t used to, no matter how hard he tries to catch up. Kenobi cares for his men, does all he can to protect them—and Skywalker does all he can to hurt whoever’s hurt them.

In Skywalker’s mind, behind the anger Cody can feel even through the holo, Cody is the one who’s hurt them. Forget the clankers—Cody might as well have been the one to take a blaster to them, for all it matters to Skywalker.

He takes another deep breath.

“I’m sorry, sir.” Start with the condolences. It makes things easier when he has to give this news to Kenobi, and Cody hopes it’ll do the same job now that he’s breaking it to Skywalker. “As I said, we were facing heavy opposition. There was artillery positioned at the top of the hill while we were attempting to take it.” Cody forces himself through the words he’s rehearsed, the words he’s carefully chosen and prepared, but Skywalker’s expression doesn’t change one bit. “We had planned a flanked approach, but found that it wasn’t suited to the terrain, and I decided—"

“Forgive my commander, Anakin.”

A voice, melodic and smooth, speaks from behind Cody, and he might’ve jumped, alarmed at how easily Kenobi’s entrance slipped under his radar, were he not so utterly focused on trying to minimize Skywalker’s anger.

Obi-Wan steps forward, standing now at Cody’s side, and Cody’s grateful for his bucket again as he gives the Jedi a bewildered glance.

“And forgive me for my tardiness. I’m afraid I was held up, helping with the wounded.”

Tardiness. Cody blinks. Kenobi’s not late to this meeting.

Kenobi wasn’t invited to this meeting. Nor was he supposed to know about it until after the fact.

It hadn’t been a deliberate exclusion on Cody’s part. But Obi-Wan was taking their losses hard enough already, and Cody was convinced that the last thing he needed was to be met with anger from the one person who meant more to him than anything else in the world. It was an easy conclusion to reach—Cody would take care of it, bear the brunt of Skywalker’s anger, and inform Kenobi after the fact. It was, after all, just another duty.

Now, though… despite how careful he’d been to keep Kenobi out of this conversation, Cody can’t help but be selfishly, horribly relieved that he’s here now.

“Obi-Wan,” Skywalker greets tersely, Rex giving a nod from behind him. His posture hasn’t lost any of its stiffness, but the curve of his lips is somewhat less severe. Kenobi nods at each of them in turn, and Cody stands dumbly at his side.

“As I was saying,” Kenobi picks up, smooth and calm and polished, ever the negotiator, “you’ll have to forgive my commander. I’m afraid that we’ve seen quite a lot of action in the past few days, and he may have forgotten some of the details of our campaign.”

Cody hasn’t forgotten shit. Somehow, he gets the distinct impression that Obi-Wan is fully aware of this—but he doesn’t challenge his General on his words, instead remaining cautiously silent, waiting to see where he’s planning to take this conversation, while Skywalker casts a wary glance Cody’s way.

It’s better than the glares he’d gotten before, at least.

“I believe Cody was detailing our efforts to recover the hilltop from Separatist occupation,” Kenobi begins crisply, pausing for a moment to wait for Skywalker’s nod before he continues. “As he mentioned, the terrain complicated our initial plans of a multifaceted approach. Due to this and many other complications, I made the decision to utilize a forward charge.”

For one long, long moment, Cody is utterly thoughtless, struggling to process what Obi-Wan’s just said, what he’s just done.

After another moment, he has the sense of mind to brace himself, to prepare for the full extent of Skywalker’s upset, to hear whatever harsh criticism and rebukes he has to offer.

Nothing comes. Instead, Obi-Wan clears his throat.

“At the moment, it was the only maneuver available to us.” Cody dares to look up, dares to take in the way Skywalker’s expression has softened just barely, the way even Rex, stiff and still, seems slightly surprised for Kenobi’s words to not have been met with an outburst. “I deeply regret each and every life that it cost, but I assure you and your captain that your men died as heroes, fighting alongside their brothers, and that the others and I will do all we can to ensure that they are treated as such.”

Another beat of silence. Cody watches Skywalker’s throat bob as he swallows, and then watches as he nods just once. He still doesn’t speak.

“I’ll be able to discuss the matter in more detail later,” Kenobi promises, and Skywalker deflates a little bit more at that, some more of that stiffness fading away. Silently, Cody marvels at how the hell his general is accomplishing all this. “Until then, though, my commander and I have some more business to see to. I trust that you understand, Anakin.”

“I understand,” Skywalker repeats, his gaze wary but not overly hostile as he looks over at Obi-Wan. He glances at Cody for a moment, expression hardening just so—but when he looks to Kenobi again, the hardness melts away once more, leaving just a solemnity that still feels out of place on Skywalker’s face. “I’ll talk to you later, Obi-Wan.”

Skywalker turns, gives a nod, and behind him, Rex moves to a panel, presses a button. The holo in front of Cody flickers out a moment later, Rex and his general just gone, just like that, and Cody finds himself staring at the space their blue projections previously occupied.

What the hell had just happened?

Beside him, Kenobi sighs, lifts a hand—then rests it on Cody’s shoulder, just for a moment, over his armor as though to console him, before letting it drop and stepping away, and finally, finally, Cody snaps out of it enough to find words.

“General—” Kenobi’s already moving to slip out of the tent, but he pauses at Cody’s voice, leaving Cody to tense up, realizing at once that he hadn’t actually planned what he was going to say.

“Wait.”

He hates how foolish his own voice sounds, so uncoordinated and unlike himself. Kenobi turns, but his brow is furrowed with that concerned look he wears more often than not, and he blinks at his commander as though nothing at all had just happened.

“Is everything alright, Cody?”

Again, Cody feels himself grasping for words, struggling to speak what he feels. In the end, he goes for simplicity.

“You didn’t have to do that, sir.”

Kenobi raises an infuriating brow, his expression the picture of innocence. “Do what, exactly?”

Cody’s confused, and his heart is still beating too fast, and all of it makes him far less careful about what he says, more willing to speak freely in the way Obi-Wan always insists he feel free to do. He swallows.

“Lie, sir,” he replies, somehow feeling a need for breath. “It wasn’t your decision to attempt that charge. It was mine.”

He’d been the one to first bring up the idea, huddled with the General and five other men behind an outcropping, knee-deep in mud with blaster fire ringing in his ears. He’d suggested it, trying desperately to find a way out of their current predicament. It had been his plan.

Obi-Wan’s expression softens, just for a beat, and he steps forward. “You may not see it that way, Commander,” he says softly, too softly, just soft enough for something in Cody’s chest to twist, “but I do.”

Cody’s at a loss for words again, but he can tell that if he doesn’t say something, Kenobi will turn to leave once more—so, desperate, he says the first thing that comes to mind.

“But I brought it up, sir.” He’s not usually so insistent in any matter, and certainly not in front of his general, but there’s something in the other man’s eyes that makes Cody’s throat feel thick with the need to speak, to say something to take away the distance in his gaze. “It was my suggestion. I made the plan. It’s—” A heartbeat, loud and clear in his chest. “It’s not your fault.”

Fault. It’s the trickiest part about war. Cody likes to think he’s come to terms with the fact that no matter what choices he makes, no matter how many hours he spends poring over strategy, his men, his brothers, are going to die. It’s what they were made to do, and he grew up knowing it—though that doesn’t make it any easier to face, any easier to silence the what ifs that come at night, all the ways things might’ve been different, the ways he might’ve saved just one more brother—

But Kenobi. Kenobi takes it harder than Cody’s ever seen, and now, it seems, is no different.

He almost flinches at Cody’s words, and the commander sucks in a breath at the sight, at the flash of vivid hurt he sees on Obi-Wan’s face before he quickly recovers, before he covers it up again. One deep breath, and it’s like Cody never said anything at all, Kenobi’s face returning to a practiced, careful calm.

“I appreciate your sentiment, Commander,” he begins, voice still quiet and distant in a way that grips Cody’s heart. “Truly, I do.” Cody doesn’t doubt it, not when he can see the sad sincerity in Kenobi’s eyes—but there’s more coming, and Cody braces himself.

“However,” Kenobi says, swallowing again, almost imperceptibly. “I’m afraid that I was the one to give the order to initiate that charge. I believe that makes me far more culpable than you.”

Cody blinks, unbelieving, because Kenobi can’t be serious about this—but kriff, that look is still in his eyes, shining blue-grey and looking right into Cody’s heart.

“General.” Cody puts the same intensity behind the word as he might’ve if he were admonishing him for escaping medbay again, or trying to evade the medics. “It was my plan.” At a loss, he shakes his head again, staring at the other and imploring him to feel his sincerity even through the bucket, to see the truth of the matter as it stares at both of them. “If anyone is to blame, sir, it’s me, not you, and—” He swallows hard. “General Skywalker should know that.”

For one brief, fleeting moment, Obi-Wan smiles—a sad smile, with none of his usual lightness. Somehow, it’s worse than the sad look he’d been wearing before. “It was my order, Commander,” he says faintly, meeting Cody’s gaze head-on. “And it is my responsibility to accept the consequences.”

Cody stares, baffled—accept what consequences? General Skywalker’s anger, or the burden of requisition forms, or the guilt, the kind that’ll suffocate you at night—before he can manage to respond.

“But sir,” he insists, that boldness from before back, boldness that he would never dare to utilize were it not for stakes like these, for something as important as his general is to him. “General Skywalker—”

Again, Obi-Wan smiles sadly, giving just one mild shake of his head to cut Cody off—and again, a careful hand raises to rest on his shoulders.

“Better that he’s mildly upset with me than putting an undue burden on you,” Obi-Wan says gently, with a ghost of that mirth he usually carries so effortlessly. It fades after a moment, just as his hand falls away from Cody’s shoulder, and Obi-Wan replaces it with solemnness. “I’ll deal with him,” he promises. “And I’ll see that your brothers are taken care of.”

His words strike something deep in Cody’s heart, something he hadn’t known was there. He knows, of course, what Obbi-Wan means—the burials, the recovery efforts, the wounded, all of it. He’s done as much before, has always cared for his men deeply enough to help with that sort of thing, but now—now, it’s so much more, and Cody doesn’t know what to say.

“General,” he says, something in his tone pleading, hoping that Obi-Wan will hear him, will break free of whatever burden he’s placed on himself, or at least let Cody carry it with him—

But Obi-Wan’s eyes only sadden further, and he bows his head just so, taking a step back.

“I’m sorry, Commander.” Another step away, and Cody’s words burn at his throat, the urge to tell him not to go, to wipe away all of his doubts, all of the blame he carries, to tell him that there’s nothing to be sorry for, it’s not his fault—

Obi-Wan manages a weak echo of a smile, meeting his gaze one last time. “I’ll do better, next time.”

A promise—a promise that he doesn’t need to make, something Cody already knows, deep down in his chest, but before he can tell him that, his general’s gone. The tent’s entrance flap swings slightly in the wind, and Cody stands, alone and with a soreness in his heart that hurts more than he can explain.

[ooops-i-arted]

Child development/Dad-thoughts for Season 2 Episode 8???

Poor little guy.  He has to be so terrified and traumatized by the time we see him again - ripped away from his father by scary bad droids, threatened by Gideon and his scary black sword, weakened from using his powers and blood loss, and we don’t even know if he was awake for any medical procedures that surely would have involved his autonomy, personhood, and fears being completely ignored let alone scary ouchy needles/medical tools.  It’s hard to gauge how he’s doing since we don’t have the entire picture of what he experienced, although we can assume it had to be terrifying.  But when we see him again, he’s patiently sitting by Gideon, apparently having complete faith that Dad will come save him and defeat the bad guy.

I do feel this episode hugely dropped the ball by not showing us Grogu being reunited with Din once Gideon is defeated and Din unshackles him.  It’s such an important missing piece - last we saw Grogu was so terrified he was giving in the Dark Side and harming stormtroopers, then he’s sitting (I infer) paralyzed with fear/scared enough to be quiet and still because of Gideon, and next we see he’s tucked in Din’s arms again.  How was he feeling to be reunited with his dad?  Did Din comfort and reassure him (it would be ooc for Din not to at this point imo)?  Did he feel better knowing that Dad came for him after all?  Sure, we can infer all that, but it’s a big emotional beat that should’ve been present because it impacts The Big Grogu Moment we get later:  Grogu choosing to go with Luke.

I’m not gonna lie, I was really surprised the show went this direction since it seemed like they were setting up Din choosing to keep Grogu as his own and I have my reservations about the story going this way tbh.  But I think Luke taking Grogu (for now) does work.

Season 2 Grogu is a much happier, well-adjusted, and more mature child than Season 1 Grogu.  Season 1 Grogu was quiet, subdued; he had moments of comfort or testing limits but overall generally made himself less noticeable and was hesitant to indicate his needs or wants to anyone, even Din.  Season 2 Grogu is a much more average child; he knows he can indicate what he needs to Din and it will be provided for, even something as the simple emotional comfort of uppies; he chatters more often and isn’t afraid to be more curious, more defiant, and just express himself.  In Season 1 Grogu didn’t even ask for food - probably thinking he’d be ignored - he just caught that frog by himself; Season 2 Grogu has a loving dad who tells him “I see you’re hungry, we’ll get you some food.”  Season 1 Grogu generally just follows Din around, not wanting him out of his sight but rarely requesting interaction until the end of the season but waiting for it to be offered instead; Season 2 Grogu is always running to Din the second he needs anything.  Does trauma magically go away?  No, Grogu is still affected.  But he’s clearly healing and growing under Din’s care, and having a stable adult in the child’s life is one of the biggest things that can reduce a child being affected by Adverse Childhood Experiences.

Grogu seems to know who Luke is, or at least recognize him as a Jedi.  My guess is he did connect with Luke during the Scotty Beam Me Up scene.  So it’s not like a stranger showed up to take him away, this is someone he has “met” and “talked to”.  And since Grogu has the Force, he can sense for sure that this is a nice person and someone who truly can teach him, which eliminates some of the guesswork you usually get when a kid meets their new teacher/a stranger.  So while it looks to Din like some random guy just showed up for his kid, there was more stuff going on below the surface that Din (and the audience) didn’t really see because It’s The Force.  So it isn’t like Grogu is being sent off with the first strange Jedi who rolls up (like on Corvus).

Grogu certainly doesn’t act afraid of Luke or anything other than friendly.  The only issue is separating from his beloved dad.  Grogu will not go unless the person he loves and trusts most in the entire world says it’s okay for him to do so.  He goes up to the screen and almost seems like he wants Din to look and show him “This is an okay guy.  Look he kills things just like you, Dad.” before pointing and trying to get the adults to open the door.  And I definitely got the impression Grogu is calling or otherwise trying to commune with Luke through the Force, telling him “Hey we’re on the bridge, come save us and meet my Dad.”  So Grogu is open and willing to start interacting with Luke - as long as it’s okay with Din.  (And Din in turn trusts Grogu enough to open the doors when Grogu says it’s cool, this guy is okay.)

The #1 thing that makes Luke taking Grogu work for me is that everyone’s consent is involved.  Grogu may be a small child who still needs an adult guardian and guidance in his life but that doesn’t mean he should be carted around without taking his feelings into consideration.  This isn’t like a few episodes ago, where Din tried to hand Grogu over without really seeing if Grogu or Ahsoka were okay with it.  Luke addresses Grogu directly and treats him like a person, accepting that Grogu needs to be involved in this decision; Luke also addresses Din’s worries and even speaks up on Grogu’s behalf (”He wants your permission”).  Grogu is clearly open to the idea of going with Luke - if he didn’t want to, Luke would certainly say so - but also wants to make sure Din is okay with it.  And while Din balks at first, once he realizes that Luke can offer Grogu the training he can’t, he gives Grogu permission to go and even gives him a special good-bye so that Grogu knows how much he means to Din.  And the face-touch seemed to me, at least, to be Grogu saying, Don’t worry Dad, it’s okay to try and reassure him.  And Din tells him in turn “Don’t be afraid.”  The separation is hard, but Din and Grogu both realize that Grogu needs to be trained to use his powers safely.  They’re willing to do what’s right, even when it’s hard, which takes a lot of emotional maturity.  Grogu has certainly grown indeed.

Realistically this probably should’ve taken a lot more time - Din going with Luke to help transition Grogu - but 1. this is a tv show and 2. this is still better than small children usually get in media anyway, since people tend to lump anyone under age 5 as “cute and/or annoying prop for the adult characters.”  Also, we the audience know Luke (the real one, not the OOC Rian Jackoff version).  We know Luke is compassionate and kind and will take good care of Grogu.  If Grogu is troubled by leaving his beloved dad, Luke will do his best to guide Grogu through it, and I personally think that if Grogu ultimately decided this wasn’t for him and wanted Dad?  Luke would pack him up in the X-wing and fly him right to Din.  So ymmv but Luke training Grogu works for me and I think Grogu is in good hands.

I don’t wanna super go into The Discourse but since I know it’s gonna come up in the fandom and since I am a big Jedi fan, I’ll briefly address the whole No Attachments/Jedi Attitudes thing:

No Attachments refers to No Possessiveness, not You Can’t Love Anyone.  The Jedi don’t discourage compassion and love and even family ties, just the whole I’d Commit Genocide For My Loved One (looking at you, Anakin).  This post specifically refutes the comments Filoni made in the Making the Mandalorian show and goes into it way better than I could, if you’re interested.  I’ll just pull out this George Lucas quote: “But [Anakin] has become attached to his mother and he will become attached to Padme and these things are, for a Jedi, who needs to have a clear mind and not be influenced by threats to their attachments, a dangerous situation.”  So Grogu loving and caring about Din isn’t an issue - it’s only an issue when he’s willing to harm and endanger others over it (like choking Cara) or when he becomes so afraid he lashes out without thinking (the stormtrooper free-for-all).

Which is why it’s so important Grogu be trained by someone who knows and understands the power he has.  Even if Grogu still decides not to be a Jedi, he needs to know how to control himself and his power so he doesn’t hurt anyone.

Jedi are allowed contact with family and embrace their original cultures as shown throughout Star Wars media.  There’s no reason to think Luke will snatch Grogu and never let him and Din see each other again even if Luke did follow the prequel Jedi completely (which he didn’t in Legends anyway, which honestly makes more sense to me since so much Jedi knowledge was lost/destroyed by the Empire).

People have always been allowed to leave the Jedi Order.  If Grogu or Din decide “Nope, can’t do this, I want him back” Luke would 100% support them making a decision that works for both of them.

We follow Anakin and Revan because they’re interesting characters and because conflict makes good stories.  The Jedi Order didn’t work for them but most Jedi seem pretty well-adjusted so... I don’t tend to think Anakin is really the baseline we should be going by, y’know?  Grogu has past trauma but he’s been with people who care for him and listen to him.  And not to knock Din at all, but Luke being able to communicate with Grogu is a huge advantage and will actually probably be really good for Grogu.  So I think Grogu is in good hands and won’t be Ruined Forever by training as a Jedi.

And of course Din says they’ll meet again.  He promised.  (And Din & Grogu are Disney’s chief moneymaking duo these days, you want to make your audience worry about your dream team, not break them up permanently.)  So I think Grogu will be reunited with his beloved dad.  And while the parting was certainly heartbreaking, for now he’s in good hands who will help him continue to grow and thrive.

[danger-xylophones]

The Ice General Part 3

{masterlist}

Words: 3270

Warnings: Rex continues to be a dumbass but y’know, this is necessary for progress. Rex might seem kind of OOC but I would like to defend it by saying, this is early-war “Regs” Rex and that I’ve got a plan

Taglist: @tararuthven // @questforgalas // @000ayfh // @pinkiemme

<- Previous 

……………………………………

“I can’t believe you punched him.” A muffled voice filtered into Rex’s foggy mind, cutting through the haze the cool bite of a wintery breeze. 

“What? You were about to yourself!” A different voice lower and less controlled answered back. The owner sounded incredibly offended. 

“Yes but I stopped!” The first voice hissed back. “You can’t just go about bashing peoples’ skulls in whenever you feel like it! What if one of his men saw?”

A scoff followed the question and Rex fought to peel his eyes open. He was on a cot, that much was for certain. Above him was the ‘ceiling’ of a tent and to his left was a roll-away cart that looked to be stocked with all sorts of medical equipment. He was in the med tent. Great. But how the hell had he gotten there? “I will bash in whoever’s skull whenever I feel necessary. He made you uncomfortable, kih’vod, he got what he deserved.” A clone. The second voice belonged to a clone.

A low sigh barely filtered through the heavy tarp material of the tent. Stifling a groan, Rex propped himself up on his elbows. Backlit by firelight and lamps were the outlines of two figures outside the entrance of the tent. The shorter of the two looked a bit strange so Rex had to wager a guess that they had their head in their hands. “Rex didn’t know, vod. It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t deserve having his lights knocked out for that!” There was so much frustration encapsulated in the first speaker’s voice that it took Rex a while to piece together that the one speaking was Y/n. When had he made her uncomfortable? 

As if attempting to answer for him, Rex’s attention was brought to the dull pain in the side of his head. Slowly, he touched his fingers to the epicenter only to find a small piece of fabric had been stuck to it. All at once, everything came back to him and the captain was confronted with a swirling mix of anger, confusion, and guilt. He should’ve known better than to grab at her like that. But, that didn’t quite match up with how violent her reaction had been. And why had Hyde punched him? Jjannex 1. He brought up Jjannex 1...Ice’s face appeared in his mind’s eye. Her e/c eyes were clouded and distant, shimmering with some long-suppressed memory that threatened to overwhelm her. Her mouth had twitched downward in a fraction of a second, a slight wobble of her bottom lip had accompanied it. Her eyebrows creased, her posture stiffened. She had looked devastated...he hated that the first emotion he got her to show was such a destructive one. 

“I still think he deserved it, if not for that then for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. Nosey ol’ captain, ain’t he?” Hyde’s tone was abrasive and ignited something within Rex’s chest. 

“Watch it.” Ice barked back, her silhouette adjusting to accommodate the finger she jabbed into Hyde’s chest. “He still outranks you.” The duo lapsed into silence for a moment though it was tense and unpleasant even from Rex’s position inside the tent. While Rex was left to stew on his earlier actions that led him to this predicament, two more figures emerged outside the tent. 

Ice’s tone lightened considerably as she spoke though there was still the undercurrent of bitter frustration. “Ah, good, Bolt…” 

“What’s the damage?” The voice of Bolt was not what Rex was expecting. There was the twinge of an accent hiding within the low timbre of every clone’s voice. But his lilted on certain words, making him sound like he was singing. 

“Minimal. I did what I could for him.” Rex’s brow quirked at Ice’s words. She had done what she could? Rex’s fingertips danced over the bandage once more. “The skin was broken where Hyde made contact on his temple, that’s what knocked him out. His bottom lip’s split where he macked off Hyde’s cuirass and he’s got some bruising under his eyes from the impact as well, his nose took most of the weight.” Ice explained briskly and Rex had two seconds to fall back and pretend to be asleep upon realizing the general was on the move. “His temple wasn’t bad enough to warrant a patch,” The woman’s voice continued, unwavering, as she flicked the flap of the tent out of the way and began to approach. Three sets of footsteps followed her own. “So, I stuck with a classic plaster. I applied some ointment to his lip but wasn’t sure what to do for the bruises. Checked his nose, didn’t seem broken.” Her voice grew louder and louder as she drew closer. The Ice General was standing at the head of his cot, just out of reach. There was the familiar sound of plastoid shifting and Rex felt a hovering presence over his face like he was being analyzed. 

“Huh,” the presence backed off. “See what you mean. Well, he’s been mildly concussed and his bone is bruised but other than that, he should be fine. I’ll give him a bactashot when he wakes up, general, and he’ll be good as new come mornin’.” It was Bolt who had hovered over him, the field medic. “How long’s he been out?” 

“We just passed the eight-minute mark.” Her reply was immediate. He’d been passed out for eight minutes? Maybe he should let them know he’s awake...But, then Ice would fall back into her emotionless drawl and hearing her like this-so emotionally free?-it was surreal. Rex wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t want her to stop. 

A low whistle came from somewhere farther in the tent. “Damn, you sure did a number on him, Hyde.” The specific cadence in the man’s voice alerted Rex that Fritz was the fifth person in the tent. 

“He touched her!” 

A dead silence followed his reply. 

“He grabbed my arm.” Till Ice jumped in to rectify it. The captain heard a soft ‘oh’ fall from Bolt. 

A rustling came from the roll away and Rex would wager a guess that Bolt was digging for the aforementioned bactashot. 

“Y’know, I can’t say I blame you, Hyde. Pretty sure I would have done the same.” Fritz piped up, sounding as though he was deep in thought. 

A snort came from Bolt. “You almost did! When Skywalker clapped her on the back-thought we’d be finishing our mission alone.” 

“Lay a hand on my wife and I’ll end your life, that’s all I’m saying.” 

Rex’s heart plummeted as a chill seemed to creep through him. Wife? Rex thought. That, that would make sense. Fritz and Ice were awfully close. But Ice was a Jedi. They couldn’t…

“Awee, Fritzy!” Ice cooed in a high voice, “You’re an idiot!” 

Fritz chuckled, loud and boisterous.“Your idiot.” 

Someone retched close to his feet. “Gross. Take your grossness elsewhere please.” 

“Why? You jealous that I’m the only one that can get away with flirting with the general, Hyde?” 

“No, I don’t want your abhorrent flirting throwing me off my game when I see Kacrobe again.” 

“’Abhorrent’, that’s a big word for you, Hyde.” 

“Sadly, it still dwarfs when compared to your ego, Fritz.” 

“Can it, you two.” Ice cut in. “Did you ask him out yet?” Silence met her question till it was broken with a high pitched squeal that made Rex flinch. “Hyde! Ner ori’vod is all grown up!”

“Hey, vod, you woke him up.” Bolt’s lilting voice commented dully. Rex stifled a defeated sigh and fluttered his eyes open as if he had been asleep so he had just enough time to see Ice retracting from the hug she had wrapped Hyde in. 

“Ah,” her voice had returned to the emotionless drawl as she folded her hands in front of her and smoothed her face out till no emotion was present. “Good evening, Captain.” And Rex had never felt more defeated. 

…………………………………………………..

Ice had been avoiding him ever since and Captain Rex was more upset by that then he thought he’d be. It was odd because it wasn’t like he and the General had interacted frequently before but at least if she had a matter to discuss with him, she would do it in person but now she’d just send someone to tell him. This also didn’t prove helpful in his quest to understand what had happened to the Veterans as now he had to understand her. The story of the Battle of Jjannex 1 was apparently as intricately intertwined with the Ice general as it was with her men. 

There was also another issue that had arisen-the commander and the general’s...relationship. Rex hoped that it was just some elaborate joke he was misinterpreting but the alternate reality had to be examined as well because it was treasonous. It was so against both regulations and codes that Rex was almost flabbergasted that he had to consider it. What made it worse? If it was true, he had to be the one to call them out on it. He had to go against the Ice general and her commander and her devoted men. If he got this wrong, he’d never hear the end of it, if he got this right-the grand army was out a general and his vod would be court-martialed, and if he did nothing? It was unlikely anyone would find out given the perpetual stoic general and the rather fun commander. Most people would just assume that it was a joke. But he had heard him call the general his wife. He had heard it straight from the source. But who would believe him?

“Hey, vod, you haven’t touched your food.” Fives’s voice was accompanied by a rough nudge of his arm that caused it to slide off his thigh. The captain scrambled to right himself as he turned to look at his newest recruit. 

“Sorry, got something on my mind.” The captain hurriedly coughed out and resumed aimlessly poking at his food to get Fives off his back. It didn’t work.

“Yeah, I could tell. Wanna talk about it?” Fives asked, evidently not willing to drop the conversation. 

Rex sighed through his nose. “No, Fives, I don’t.” 

“Really? Does it have to do with the fight you got into yesterday?” 

Rex couldn’t help but roll his eyes. After he had woken up, he had been engulfed in a largely one-sided conversation between himself in Hyde that basically boiled down to they would tell the truth about what happened to his men and then they would never bring it up again. “The truth” they had decided to tell them though was boiled down to he had brought up a sensitive issue and things had escalated. True? Yes. The truth? Not to him. The truth was that the Ice general and her men were hiding something and he was trying to get to the bottom of it. “I said I don’t want to talk about it, Fives.” Rex was trying to keep his voice under control, he had no right to yell at the private when his foul mood was in no way Fives’s fault. 

“Does it have to do with Ice? You haven’t been able to take your eyes off of her since yesterday.” He persisted and Rex let out a disappointed sigh. He liked Fives but his stubbornness that proved helpful in battle could easily turn annoying. 

“Would you please not phrase it like that?” The captain groaned, finally setting his ignored meal to the side. “I’ve been trying to keep an eye on her because I need to talk to her. She’s hiding something-her and the Veterans.” 

“Ah, yes, because that makes it any less creepy, alor’ad.” The younger man huffed. “Sir, with all due respect, maybe you should let it go? I’m sure that whatever it is, the Vets took care of it and it’s just a sore topic now.” 

Rex’s eyes grew wide as he was struck speechless. “I...I’m surprised to hear you say that, Fives.” The captain fought to keep his face from going slack as he struggled to articulate what he was thinking. “Normally, you’re the first to question stuff like this.” 

The private shrugged and finished up his meal before setting it to the side. “‘Been talkin’ to her men an’ they all love her. They trust her, captain, why can’t you?” Fives turned away when one of the younger 205th boys called his name and asked if he’d lend him a hand with something which left the captain time to mull over his question. Why didn’t he trust her? Part of him wanted to say that it was because she was possibly committing treason with one of her men. But Rex knew deep down that he hadn’t trusted her from the beginning. Why though? Because she was mysterious? Because he didn’t know why she acted the way she did? Because he didn’t understand why her men all had the same tattoo? Because he couldn’t figure out what made her so different from the other Jedi? 

That had to be it. He hadn’t worked with many Jedi but he had seen how they interacted with their troops and generally, it was always the same. They were respectfully distant-it was clear that most of them were concerned for their well-being but none of them were really close. None of them were named vod (except maybe Plo Koon). But Y/n L/n was. She adored her men and had even been called kih’vod. That was a big deal. That showed that their loyalty was to her. That showed that they trusted her: so why couldn’t he?  

“Captain Rex.” a clone cleared his throat to his left and Rex finally looked away from where Fives had disappeared off to. Hyde, of all people, was standing at attention beside him. 

“Uh, at ease…” Rex ordered out of habit though his heart wasn’t in it. “What did you need?” 

Hyde took a low breath as though he was preparing to do something he’d regret for the rest of his life. “General L/n was wondering if you would like to join us for a sparring match.” 

The captain’s eyebrows shot up. She was…? Why? Hadn’t he horribly offended her not even 24 hours ago? “Um, sure. I guess.” He agreed hesitantly, not entirely sure that this was real. Hyde dipped his head and beckoned for him to follow. Hyde led him farther and farther away from where he had stopped to have his breakfast until he found himself in a makeshift enclosure made from a cliff and several tents. It was still early morning so it was relatively dark and cool, making it the perfect time for a quick match but what Rex didn’t understand was why only he had been invited.

“Hyde,” So, he decided to ask, “Why just me?” 

“Sparring is...personal for the general. And, since she knows you don’t trust her, she was hoping to make up for last night.” Hyde explained almost solemnly, as he came to a stop on the edge of the ring. What did that mean? ‘Sparring is personal’. Why? Once again, the captain found his already innumerable questions perpetually multiplying. “Wait here, I’ll go get her.” Before Rex could stop him, Hyde had swept away and disappeared into a tent the captain had come to recognize as L/n’s. 

As Rex waited in the blissful coolness of morning on the desert planet, he found himself distracted by the Ice general once again. She was looking to make up for last night, that much he could wrap his head around but what he didn’t understand was what possessed her to want to. Did she know he had overheard Fritz call her his riduur? Was this her way of keeping him quiet? Or was this her way of distracting him from Jjannex 1? By offering to let him in on a personal tradition, was she hoping to stop him from further investigating the matching tattoos? If it was, then she would be disappointed to learn that she would fail. If anything, it made Rex want to keep digging.  

“Ah, Captain Rex, it is good to hear that you decided to join us.” The blond man was pulled from his ponderings by the voice of the woman he was so troubled by. Her voice was still, as ever, betraying neither elation nor distaste for his agreement. She came around his left, clad in her light tan tunic that seemed to be the uniform of the Jedi. Her cloak had been done away with, presumably, so it wouldn’t get in the way while she fought and that left the captain with a clear view of the two lightsabers that hung on her belt. “I hope you were not busy when Hyde found you?” 

It took the captain a moment to realize that it was a question. “Oh, uh, no, no. I wasn’t.” Rex’s eyes fell away from hers, cold, calculating, frozen, and to the lightsabers once more. “Are you gonna keep those on ya?” He nodded to the weapons. 

Y/n’s head tilted to the side as she processed his question. She looked like a curious loth-cat. “They are my defenses, aren’t they?” 

“Your defenses?” Rex didn’t like the sound of that. Why would she need her lightsabers to defend her during a sparring match with a clone? 

“Indeed…” She dragged out before turning to Hyde who was busily fidgeting with one of his vambraces. “Did you not explain what sparring for us entails?” 

The red-head looked up for a moment, disinterested. “No, was I supposed to?” 

Ice took a moment to sigh, her face was still unfaltering. “Yes, Hyde, you were supposed to.” She shook her head before turning her unimpassioned gaze back to Rex. “I suppose you will just have to learn through observation, Captain.” Y/n moved on swiftly, spotting something behind the captain that had her enraptured in a moment. “Fritz! Who have you got?” She projected as she moved past the blond who turned to see what she was talking about. Commander Fritz was quickly approaching with Jekyll, Bolt, Empio, Codex, Boom, and two others the captain didn’t recognize. “Ah, Codex, I see you’ve returned. And we have Boom, Phantom, and Nexus as our three other newcomers? Welcome, boys.” The three men who were apparently new to sparring just like him quickly saluted Ice till she made a gesture for them to relax. “Alright, Phantom, Nexus you two take that corner. Jekyll, Empio, Codex, over there. Hyde, Fritz, beside the tent and finally, Bolt and-” 

“Sorry to interrupt, Ice, but I’m gonna sit this one out-prefer not to get my ass whooped today.” Bolt chirped from the seat he had taken atop three crates off to Rex’s left. 

...what? Rex couldn’t help but think. Ice blinked at the medic before shrugging. “Alright then, hand Rex your blaster.” ...what? He thought again as the dark haired man pressed his blaster into his hand. “And your helmet since he didn’t bring his.” ...WHAT? “Captain, I suggest you take up a position there.” Ice ordered softly and pointed to where she meant. Still perplexed beyond all measure, the captain complied. A few seconds passed as Ice observed the gathered men and how she had placed them and Rex couldn’t help but shift on his feet, his nerves getting the better of him. With a nod, Ice grabbed her lightsabers and moved to be equidistant from each man. “Gentlemen, set your blasters to stun.” ...W H A T? 

<- Previous | Next ->

[count-to-29]

~~OOC - Writing under the cut (not necessarily canon accurate but im proud of it so oh well)~~

—-

This wasn’t the first time Jango had been called to the medbay for one of the Alpha ARCs. They were aggressive, even as kids, and they’d make a serious threat on the battlefield.

But cramped on Kamino, with all the reckless energy of 4 year olds in eight year old bodies, they just ended up fighting each other.

The door hissed open without him even lifting a finger and he stepped in to see a Kaminoan pouring over a datapad, while a med droid floated around and fussed over a young trooper with thick curly hair down to his chin.

“Alpha-29.” Jango said, not unkindly- but not all that gently either. That was… not who he expected to see. 29 was consistently one of the few ARCs who didn’t get into fights.

The boy turned around when he was addressed, beaming like Jango had complimented him.

His face was...bad. Blood was drying in rivets down one side of his face, while his nose poured fresh blood down his chin and over his red fatigues. His right eye was swollen with a fast darkening bruise on his cheekbone, and the whites of his right were red.

“What happened?”

It was the Kaminoan, not Alpha-29 that answered.

“He sustained multiple blows to the face, resulting in a cracked nose, several rupture blood vessels in his eyes and a gash on his head.” She said, in the slow languid way common to the slender amphibians. Jango nodded slightly- the Kaminoan was apparently she seemed to decide she wasn’t needed there to babysit now that Jango was in the room.

“Alpha-29.”

“Sir?”

“What happened?”

29 swung his feet nervously, looking down.

“I lost, sir.” He said with a grin. Nothing phased this kid.

“To who?” His grin faltered. Maybe not nothing.

“I can’t tell you sir. He’ll get in trouble.”

Jango raised an eyebrow. “Will he now? Does he know you’re covering for him?”

29 laughed. “No sir. I don’t think he even realizes we’re from the same batch, nevermind-“ He gasped and covered his mouth.

“So, Alpha-28 then.”

29 looked as miserable as Jango had ever seen him. Not that he saw 29 that much.

“Why?” Jango pinched the bridge of his nose.

29 blinked up at him- well he assumed it was a blink. It was hard to tell when one of the kid’s eyes was swollen shut.

“Why did you and Alpha-28 get into a fight, and why are you covering for him?” Jango clarified. The Kaminoan didn’t say it, but he was probably concussed.

“Oh. 28 was mad that Ma-- sorry, Alpha-Two-Six and Alpha-Two-Seven beat us during a training exercise. He wanted to show them that he could beat them, but he was going try to take both of them at once and get himself killed, so I convinced him to spar with me first to “warm up”.” He did little finger quotes that Jango had no idea where he learned them from. “But really it was so he’d be able to feel better without trying to fight the others and get himself killed.” Alpha-29 paused to catch his breath, rubbing dry and flaking blood off his cheek. “I’m covering for him because I don’t want him to get reconditioned. He doesn’t like me but the older ARCs always say we’re brothers, and brothers look after each other.”

——-

The blow landed on his jaw and he stumbled back against the wall as 28 rushed him again. His stomach hurt.

“Twenty eight!” 29 bellowed, trying to catch his shoulders, only to get hit in the chest hard enough to knock the wind out of him.

“You’re useless, 29.” 28 hissed, slamming his back against the floor. “You’ve always been kriffin’ useless. They should’ve killed you when we were on Kamino. You slowed us down- you slowed me down!” 28 bared his teeth- they were sharp. Too sharp. Those aren’t 28’s teeth.

His stomach hurt.

“I’m gonna kill ya. I’m gonna tear your throat open.”

“No!” 29 tried to squirm out of 28’s hold, but it was no use. Then- bootsteps. He was saved! He twisted his head. Thank the Force. It was Kane.

The nautolan stood over the two struggling troopers, his hands clasped behind his back.

“Ka-Kane please, you gotta help me-“ 29 gasped. “Get him off me-!”

His stomach hurt.

“What are you waiting for, 28?” Kane said, as calm and cool as ever. “You have your orders. 29 is a no longer an asset to the Republic.”

“No-“ 29 cried as 28’s hands grabbed his jaw. He dimly realized 28 was going to snap his neck

“No! Please-!”

His stomach hurt.

-

29 bolted upright and fell out of his bunk, hitting his head on the duracrete floor, breathing heavily. He was ok. Right? He wasn’t fighting 28, he wasn’t having his head twisted around-

His stomach hurt.

He almost didn’t make it to the fresher before his rations from the night before came up again.

What a wonderful wake up call.

The fresher door hissed open and 29 didn’t even bother to lift his head as cool hands gathered his dark curls away from his face.

“Are you alright?” Kane asked. Kill him, 28. You have your orders.

29 shook his head. That hadn’t been the Kane holding his hair. It was just a nightmare

“Been better, boss.” He rasped, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You didn’t happen bring my painstims from that kid- Sugar, sorry- in here did you?”

“I’m afraid not. Can you stand?”

“Sure can try.”

It took some effort for 29 to haul himself to his feet, without puking again. He almost managed to hurl on Kane’s robes. That would have been embarrassing.

“So what’s the plan for today, sir?” 29 asked as he pulled fresh fatigues on. His stitches on his stomach ached with the movement. Pain is a rock. Climb over it and don’t whine.

Kane didn’t answer at first, adjusting his glasses with that telltale furrow between his brows.

“Twenty-nine, perhaps we should go see Sugar. If you’re getting sick-“

29 winced.

“I’m not sick. Just...my rations weren’t agreeing with me. I’m fine.” Kane looked like he was about to argue. “I’m fine, sir.”

“...very well.” The Nautolan seemed resigned- clearly he wanted to press, but 29 could be as stubborn as Forge when he wanted to be. “Let us begin the day then.”

—-

He was dozing again. Curled up on the armchair behind Kane’s desk while he talked to people coming in and out of the office.

Twenty-nine.

Who knew Jedi did such menial jobs, like paper work? It was enough to drain you down to exhaustion.

“Twenty-nine! Get up, you useless fool.” Kane’s voice. But not his words. Not his clothes- it was his face, his head, but from the neck down, a mandalorian. Standing over 29.

“I said get up, sacitadr geraor.” A boot to his ribs. “Good for nothing! You don’t deserve the head on your neck. Jango was wrong about you good-for-nothing Alphas. Get up!”

“Twenty-nine, wake up.” His eyes snapped open. Kane. Why was it always Kane? A protest started in his throat, but he smothered it down.

“You were having a nightmare.” Kane said softly. A cup of tea was being pressed into his hands. “I could feel it through the Force down the hall. Enough dodging. What’s wrong?”

His throat didn’t want to work. Finally he just lifted the cup to his lips, staring at a spot over Kane’s shoulder.

Good for nothing, useless-

“It’s nothing sir.” 29 muttered. “Just...a weird dream.”

Kane frowned. “Twenty-nine, why do you keep lying about this? I just want to help.”

29 winced. Why do you keep lying, why do you keep failing, why are you so useless-

“It’s just a bad dream, sir. Nothing for you to worry about.”

Kane shook his head and nudged 29’ hand holding the tea. “Drink. It’ll calm you down.”

29 was a stubborn bastard, but he didn’t disobey direct orders. He lifted the cup as Kane continued.

“It is something for me to worry about, 29, because you’re under my command. It’s my job, right now, to make sure you don’t get hurt-“

“No, it’s not,” He shouldn’t have interrupted, 29 knew that. “It’s not your job to make sure I don’t get hurt. It’s your job to order me into battle. It’s my job to jump in front of a blaster shot for you. That’s what our jobs are, sir.” He didn’t set the cup down. “Sorry. I just- don’t sugar coat things for me sir. I know what I’m meant for. I won’t be useless.”

Kane was quiet for a long moment and 29 thought maybe- maybe- he would let it drop, and just give 29 some weird Jedi tea to make the nightmares stop.

“Is that truly what you think? That you’re...that you’re useless if you don’t die for me?”

Or maybe not. Damn. 29 looked down at the tea cup, trying to chose his words carefully.

“No sir. Not you specifically.” 29 finally managed. “Jedi in general. We- clones- exist solely to fight for you, to protect you, to defend the Republic. Follow orders. I- I’ve never had an issue with that, believe me, and you’re- you’re nice sir. Really.” 29 hesitated. Stop whining Alpha-29. How can you follow orders if you’re whining?

But he asked! He wants to know! He can help. He’s a Jedi- he can make it go away.

His breath caught in his throat again before he could continue.

“But I can’t follow orders. Not- not when I’m like this. I’m broken and useless because I got sloppy and got shot and I-“ A sound he hadn’t made since Kamino rose up in his throat and 29 cut himself off harshly. “I’m sorry sir.” He said, after a long pause. “I’ve just...it’s been giving me nightmares. I’m sorry to have troubled you.”

Kane looked like he was going to argue again, but 29 didn’t give him a chance. He stood up and handed the tea back to the Jedi.

“You’re right, sir. I should go check in with the medic. I’ll get out of your way.” He sidestepped Kage and was down the hall before he said anything.

-

“So you...ran away. From a Jedi.” Sugar paused, med scanner in hand. “Hey Twenty-nine? What the hell?”

29 groaned and held his arms up so Sugar could scan his torso unobstructed.

“Sugar, I was acting like a three year old on Kamino again.”

“I thought you trusted that one? You said he was one of the good ones.” Sugar grabbed one of 29’ shoulders and forced him to turn. “You said you got sick earlier?”

“I do trust him, but that doesn’t change the fact that whining about something like a bad dream is how you get screwed over.” He groaned and dragged his hands down his face. “Yeah uh- after the first one. I woke up and threw up my rations from last night.”

Sugar paused, his scanner beeping helpfully.

“Well, nothing’s wrong with your gut. No contagens or anything either, so it’s not a virus or infection.”

“Lovely. So I’m sick for no reason.” 29 dragged his hands down it face and Sugar rolled his eyes.

“Well, if there’s no medical reason for it, then you can enjoy these with me.” Sugar put down two cups of something semi-frozen with whipped cream on the counter. 29 laughed.

“Pretty sure that’s not sanitary, kid.”

“Do you want one or not?”

“Hand it over.”

They sat there in silence for a bit, drinking the civvie drinks. 29 barely got two sips into his before he set the disposable cup back down on the counter, his nose crunching up from the amount of sugar in that thing. The medic barely seemed to notice, as he had already downed almost a third of it, and had a glop of whipped cream on his nose to match.

Twenty-nine grinned, despite the tension and dread that had been coiling between his shoulder blades all morning. Sugar was from one of the younger batch cycles, he knew that, but to see the other clone so relaxed and casual…. at first, he would have expected to feel jealous. All the comforts he had, both as a medic at a relatively peaceful outpost and from the lack of scrutiny and constant watch he got as a rank-and-file soldier- 29 would never get those things. But he wasn’t jealous, or upset or even annoyed- it was nice, actually, to stand next to Sugar and just enjoy his company.

His cheeks were softer, 29 noticed with a start as Sugar set aside his own cup and looked to 29’s basically untouched one hopefully.

Fuller, not quite as sharp and angled as 29’. His hair looked softer too- kid probably had time to actually style it into the little half bun he wore, rather than just push it out of his face before slamming a bucket on.

“All your’s.” 29 waved a hand to Sugar who happily snatched up the cup.

“I’ll find a civvie food you like one of these days, Twenty-nine.”

“Yeah, uh-huh- you can keep trying.”

“I think I will.” Sugar looked smug, like a tooka that just swiped a piece of meat off a plate when someone wasn’t looking.

“‘S not gonna work.”

“Have some faith in me!”

“Nope, think I’ll keep all my faith for myself, thanks.”

[twilightofthe]

What was your opinion of the Clovis arc? People I know either love it or hate it, no in between. I generally liked it but found it waayyy ooc.

Hey anon, thanks for the ask!!!!

AHSJFLSLALK OK SO UH. Wow. Clovis arc. Yiiiiiiikes ok so. I totally agree with you on the fandom divide and I also totally agree that everyone involved in it is rather OOC for my taste. That being said, that case of OOC is exactly why I personally do not like the arc that much at all.

(Please note that my following words are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS, and that anyone is free to disagree, in fact I welcome the discussion, and even if this is your favorite arc, please consider yourself welcome on my blog I hold nothing against those who might like it)

Part of me was gonna make a short and sweet point about how I don’t like that TCW has had both of its main female characters have unwanted kisses forced on them, and instead of teaching young girls watching to tell those kinds of people to fuck off and respect their bodies, we get: 1. Just let it happen, you both must kinda like each other anyway or 2. Stay still then sit back while your boyfriend beats him half to death

But actually turns out I wanted to spend all day writing an essay so now you get this. So far I’m gonna hit four points:

the show’s constant need for Vader foreshadowing sometimes tending to completely override Anakin’s current mindset and personality he should have at this point in the timeline as well as his preestablished characterization

the way TCW gave Anakin a giant dosage of toxic masculinity to try and please the pissy movie critics who didn’t like that he cried

the role of Padmé and how TCW tries to portray her as a “strong woman” by just having her constantly be irritated by and sometimes even look like she actively dislikes her husband while simultaneously have her act OOC so they can blame HER and her actions for Anakin’s reactions and anger and overall Fall

How I think this arc is not irredeemable and that with some fixes it could be done decently— decently, not well, because a lot of this arc’s problems are also due to preexisting writing choices throughout the show

(Ok whoops this turned into a half Clovis arc rant half entire TCW Anidala commentary)

So firstly I wanna start that yes, I am fully aware that TCW is meant to fill in the gaps between AOTC and ROTS and help explain why Anakin’s mindset in the final movie is what it is and justify his Fall. Of course we need to show some Vader foreshadowing throughout the series, and in some places it is executed very well, notably the Mortis arc, the Bad Batch arc, the Wrong Jedi arc, as well as others that I can’t cite off the top of my head currently because I might have a mild touch of heat exhaustion wooo I need to get off the beach.

But it also has some rather hamfisted Vader foreshadowing stuff too. Like, y’all know the fandom joke where it’s like “Anakin: *Accidentally Leaves The Toilet Seat Up*. The Background Music: *BLASTS the Imperial March*” but like, they actually really do that. Like the time where they have Anakin take out a terrorist about to blow up an entire ship full of people and then play the Imperial March afterwards and imply he’s a “cold-blooded killer” just to defend the moral purity of the two people who were gonna stand there and let the ship blow in the name of idealism.

I’m getting off topic but yeah, sometimes the show’s Vader foreshadowing makes sense, sometimes it’s pretty forced, and the Clovis arc DEFINITELY leans towards the forced side, and when they try to force more of Darth Vader into Anakin at a point where he shouldn’t quite be there yet, it screws with his entire character.

This is particularly shown in the majority of the show’s takes on Anakin’s relationship with Padmé. Namely, they tend to forget nearly the entirety of AOTC with the exception of the Tusken murder scene, then forget even more of ROTS up until the point where Anakin strangles her on Mustafar. Basically, they take the truth that it was Anakin’s unhealthy attachment to Padmé that sparked his Fall, but then they decide to run with it where almost every single interaction he has with her in the damn show is him being a toxic overbearing dick to her and her acting like she mildly tolerates him at most and definitely doesnt respect him as like, I guess a way of showing what happened on Mustafar is in character for them???? Ugh, I’ll explain further.

So with Anakin’s aggressive possessiveness towards her. We know Anakin has possession and attachment issues. We know he’s a clingy needy whiny anxious mess who’s constantly afraid of losing or driving away the few people he has pinned his entire happiness on. We know he leans unhealthily on Padmé to provide the majority of his emotional support. We know he’s convinced himself he can’t live without her. But never, NEVER is it seen in the movies where his possessiveness turns into outward aggression towards her or this douchey pushiness. Never does he treat her like his property, like she belongs to him.

Not until Mustafar.

Not until he’s raving, half out of his mind with the warring emotions over the atrocities he’s just committed, until he’s begging her to understand where he was coming from, begging her and the child to stay with him and justify his decision, until he sees Obi Wan and sees her backing away from him, leaving him, and he PANICS because oh no no no you can’t abandon me, I need you, doN’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME. And he lashes out and tries to force her to stay, punish her for leaving and doubting him, and he puts that hand around her throat.

And that is supposed to be when we know he’s crossed the line, when we’re supposed to be horrified, where we know he’s lost himself, because he has NEVER ACTED LIKE THAT BEFORE.

Now how does Anakin act before? In the movies? He’s deferential to Padmé in almost every other scene they’re in together.

In AOTC, yeah he stares at her a bit creepily from a distance, he says awkward things and does goofy stuff to impress her, but he does Not get in her face. The few times he does invade her space, she flat out tells him: stand back. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t say that. Don’t interrupt me. And Anakin always, always backs off, respects her wishes. He follows her lead and lets her call the shots both on Naboo when he’s supposed to be protecting her and when she organizes the Geonosis rescue and once they arrive where she flat out tells him “I’m a Senator, I’ll handle this, just back me up”, and he’s all but just “ok yes queen”.

But they aren’t married then. Fine, take ROTS. It’s a movie all about Anakin’s issues but even then, when he’s worried about Padmé dying, he tells her he’s worried and that he can’t lose her, but he still keeps a distance. He doesn’t constantly hover and loom over her. If anything, Padmé, both in ROTS and AOTC is always the one to approach Anakin and close the distance when there’s conflict. When Anakin is upset, he averts his eyes and distances himself, tries to draw in on himself and brood silently, and we’ve seen it in Palpatine sometimes (of course with bad motives but he still does), but Obi Wan and Padmé both especially needing to be the ones to come over, turn his face to them and be like “hey, look at me, I care about you, what’s wrong”. Padmé SAYS in ROTS when he’s feeling specifically conflicted about losing Padmé, “don’t shut me out” and has to come over to him because he’s retreated into a corner of the room to scowl angstily out the window. Anakin does NOT get overbearing and possessive of her or get in her face, not once in the films.

In the fucking show? The Clovis arc, while perhaps the worst offender, isn’t even close to being the first time Anakin has been overly pushy and aggressive with Padmé, or acting like she’s something he owns, From that time in the Senate Hostage ep where he’s bugging her about ditching work and all but acting like incels texting like “awww but babe my dick hurts :(”, from the FIRST Clovis disaster ep where he’s childishly trying to screw up Padmé’s mission, to the Clovis arc in season 6

And this is where they just roll right in with their “oh so Anakin’s an overbearing, entitled douche” bit with the interaction he has with Pads and he’s trying to talk her out of taking the Clovis assignment and he says something along the lines of “as your husband, I demand you don’t do this”.

Hwat. The Fuck.

What kind of caveman-esque, 1800’s-ass man of the house whom my wife must obediently serve kinda entitled-ass BULLSHIT?!?!?!?

Like, I’m sorry, I really am, but that is just completely out of left field and not like Anakin at all. I mean to the point that when he’s an evil Sith Lord trying to talk her into taking over the galaxy with him, EVEN THEN he does not include “Padmé you must join me because I’m your husband and you do as I say” sort of domineering assholerly.

Anakin does not push Padmé around. He does not TRY to assert authority over her or try and force her to do shit. Not only because she doesn’t put up with that kinda shit for a second, but because Anakin respects Padmé; he will treat her with respect. He always has, and sometimes like in this arc it really doesn’t feel like he does.

Now of course Padmé’s response to the “I own you” declaration is “fuck you, asshole, I do what I want” and doubling down on her decision, and then decides to go even harder on the mission if only to spite her douche husband (and we’ll get to Padmé’s characterization in a bit) which is a very different kind of Anidala conversation we see in the show as opposed to the movies (also discussed later).

Now, the reason for Anakin’s overbearing douchery ties directly into an overarching problem in TCW— honestly, one of the very few issues I have with this show, but the problem is that it touches nearly the entire thing —and that is they almost completely reworked Anakin’s personality to be more hyper-masculine alpha male.

This is a topic I’ve discussed on my blog before, but the gist is that in the movies, Anakin was not the typical male heroic protagonist and DEFINITELY not what people expected from Future Darth Vader The Masked Brutish Male Power Fantasy. He was awkward, he was shy, he was soft spoken, he was clumsy around the girl he liked, he was very openly romantic, he liked frolicking in fields and candlelit dinners and snuggling. Two of the most important people in his life were soft, feminine women and he openly loved them very dearly and very gently— and he deferred to them when he felt it was right, as I’ve mentioned before. He CRIED when he was upset and was messy and emotional. And fanboys hated this with a burning passion. They couldn’t project their power fantasy onto this!!!! The Anakin critics were a HUGE part of the mob who crucified the prequels to the point of chasing both Anakin actors practically out of the movie industry in general.

The Clone Wars writers were obviously petrified of this happening again. So their solution, as has always been Star Wars’s solution to hateful fans being upset about an innocent character, is to completely rework them, hide or retcon all the undesirable qualities, and act like everything was all fixed. Now don’t get me wrong, there are aspects of TCW Anakin that I adore. As I’ve also mentioned before, they got his humor, his cleverness, his eagerness to do the right thing, to help people, his relationship with Obi Wan and Ahsoka and his men, they got that all perfectly. But the rest??? TCW’s solution to the criticism of Movie!Anakin was to turn him into an agressive, dominant, violent shadow of everything “soft” he was in the movie

Now, he speaks loudly and more deeply. Now, he’s cocky and overconfident and while yes he was arrogant in the movies, now it’s dialed up to like an 11. He never cries, never even THINKS to show a negative emotion that’s not Manly Rage And Aggression(TM). And then there’s the way he is around the women in his life. No more awkwardness or shyness, now he makes jokes about being a “ladies man” and does whatever the fuck flirting he does with Miraj Scintel even though the Anakin from the movies would have needed like every scrap of his self control just to look at her without insta-murdering her face. And then there’s how he is with Ahsoka and Padmé. He is muuuuch more of a loud brash dudebro around them who pushes his weight and is kind of controlling and their solution is just to have the both of them be Strong Women(TM) who Fight Back whenever he tries it too hard with them.

With Ahsoka, it’s not too bad because it’s a brand new dynamic and she’s a rather agressive firecracker personality herself when we first meet her, so the constant Snips n’ Skyguy snipefest works for them. For Padmé? It just means that in far too many episodes they’re in there’s a point where Anakin says something Eh and Padmé gets mildly irritated to actually annoyed with him for it and she’ll talk down to him and then there’s an argument between them because he’s bullheaded and she’s a Strong Woman. Why do I consider these out of character?

In the movies, despite the flaws, Anidala is a couple who actually tries to communicate. Anakin feels open to speak about his troubles to Padmé and her to him (for the most part, she definitely has a savior complex and a tendency to squash her own shit so she can help deal with both Anakin’s and the galaxy’s at large) when they’re worried or concerned about something and they want to talk it out, so they’ll talk it out!

The problem with Anidala isn’t that they don’t communicate, it’s that they try but also only do it by halves because they hate fighting. They’ll talk, Anakin will say something that Padmé might disagree with— the fascism discussion in the Naboo field in AOTC, the question of whether the Republic is just or not in TPM —and she’ll try and correct him if she feels he’ll listen, but if he doubles down, she’ll go “ok you know what, agree to disagree, let’s not fight” and she subtly changes the subject because she hates fighting with him. If Pads says something Ani doesn’t like— telling Obi Wan about them in ROTS, some emotional advice she tries to give in both movies —he’ll flat out shut down and be like “I don’t want to talk about this, let’s drop it” and then seek out cuddles or affection as a distraction.

And that brings us back to the Clovis arc. The scene where the “as your husband” line occurs. Anakin is trying to talk Padmé out of doing this not because he’s jealous. Maybe he was jealous the first time he met Clovis and saw Padmé being all cute n’ fond with her old flame, but this time it seems almost entirely because last time ended in catastrophe and he’s genuinely worried for Padmé and feels she’s not thinking wisely, that she’s putting herself in danger.

However, Anakin is deciding to voice these concerns in Possessive Dudebro Pushing because of the aforementioned misguided Vader Foreshadowing and Toxic Masculinity. Padmé? Is not even CONSIDERING what he has to say, is just breezing on through and shutting him down at every turn and generally acting like he’s a dumbass who doesn’t have a clue about anything.

Now, it is very in character for Padmé Amidala to be all “I’m right, you’re wrong, fuck you don’t get in my way”. HOWEVER, they aren’t framing this as solely Padmé having a goal and bulldozing her way through the situation. That’s not how they frame this.

They frame this as: Padmé is embarrassed that she misjudged the situation wrong the last time and embarrassed even further that Anakin had to step in and get her out of trouble— which he brings up —and probably remembers that he made fun of her while he did it—

(Timing out to say that THAT scene was also OOC; they once more wanted a Vader parallel what with Anakin’s silhouette when he opens her cell door and the way Padmé’s sleeping pose is identical to Leia’s in ANH. But Anakin basically steps in and gives her this condescending-ass “awww the little wife’s gotten in over her head like I SAID she would, good thing I’m here to rescue her!” bit that’s really just MEAN. It’s not like him and Obi Wan’s/Ahsoka’s teasing snark whenever they have to pull each out of trouble, he’s just kicking her while she’s already down. Really, Anakin’s reaction should have been a lot less humorous and a lot more pissy; she didn’t listen to him, didn’t trust him, and ended up in danger because of it. It’d be a surly and upset “I told you so”, not an amused one.)

—and now it seems much more like Padmé is solely taking this assignment to spite Anakin for being a dick and to pettily prove that she knows what she’s doing rather than any sense or urge to do the right thing. And....... childish pettiness????? Is not Padmé. And yet, she has the entire immature “don’t tell me what to DO, Anakin” attitude this whole arc that amounts to WAY more than just the normal response she would have to his overcontrolling dickishness

And once again, it’s because she, like everyone else in the episode, seems to think the problem Anakin has is that he’s jealous of Clovis. He’s not, not really. He’s insecure, yes, but he also knows Clovis is a bag of dicks as well, and trusts that Padmé knows she’s better than that. His problem isn’t fears he’ll lose Padmé, it is entirely that Padmé isn’t listening to his concerns, doesn’t trust him, is going into a situation they both know is unwise, and he is frustrated he’s not in a position where he can look out for her since he feels she’s not looking out for herself. And, he’s not entirely wrong. Padmé IS being reckless and kind of irrational solely to prove a point. He just goes about it pretty much entirely the wrong way, which is what you can really say is the cause and effect formula for any problem Anakin Skywalker encounters and subsequently makes worse.

And then there’s That Scene. The one where Clovis tries to force a kiss on Padmé and Anakin freaks and almost kills him for it. I’ll start off by quoting another Tumblr user on that very scene by saying in regards to Clovis: “that bitch deserved that”. The almost murder? Maybe not that far, but the initial hitting for disrespecting someone’s “no”? Yep, that was deserved.

My first criticism is that Anakin shouldn’t have even had time to attack him because why the fuck wasn’t Padmé instantly kneeing him in the balls?!?! Like Padmé is not prone to violence immediately, no, but she can will and does defend herself immediately when she needs to— her right punch knocked someone tf out once when she was pissed —and she already gave him a warning that his advances were not welcomed.

Now, I am absolutely not victim blaming. I am NOT saying it is the fault of a woman (I’d be a hypocrite if I did and that’s all I’ll say on THAT), or of anyone when faced with sexual harassment, if they don’t fight back for whatever reason, no matter how capable of doing so they may be. What I’m saying is that considering her previous behavior and personality and the fact that the show NEVER goes deep enough into explaining heavy stuff like why victims might freeze or NOT fight back when faced with harassment, I feel like showing her not attempting to defend herself at all is kinda strange.

Now, Padmé’s utter passiveness to the situation aside, we’re going back into toxic masculinity and misunderstood interpretations of how Anakin displays possession. While I’ll repeat that Clovis deserved consequences for the forced kiss, Anakin going full caveman defending his property jealous rage just. Doesn’t feel right to me. Again, I think Anakin would probs hit him and put the fear of living god into him, maybe even I’d buy the attempted murder if they framed it as Anakin doing it because he hates those who force their will on others and disrespect women, but the whole that’s MY wife and you’re touching her shite just once more feels alpha male aggressive ridiculousness. Like again, I understand Anakin is possessive of Padmé, but not like this. I’m sorry, but I just cannot see that, him fighting over her like she’s a scrap of meat.

Like, I completely think she’s in the right tho to put them on a break after he does it though. That’s well within her right.

But then onto the FINAL part where after Clovis goofs and fucks them all over and then dies, she forgives him and blames herself for everything and apologizes. And like, that part I do see as in canon and character for her and for Anakin. He doesn’t like to admit his mistakes, her mistakes weigh on her and when she fails to fix or save someone, she falls into depression and upset and self-blame.

But the fact that Clovis died because Anakin dropped him? Anakin Skywalker, who scaled an entire elevator shaft carrying two people over his back who combined probs weighed more than Padmé and Clovis. Anakin Skywalker, who’s used the Force to lift tons of debris, who’s used it to hold back explosions, Anakin Skywalker, MOST POWERFUL FORCE USER IN HISTORY WHO TENDS TO RELY ON BRUTE STRENGTH FOR MOST SHIT ANYWAY. That Anakin couldn’t pull two people over a ledge?!?!?!?!? This has always bothered me.

Like to be honest; I feel this entire episode could have been so fixable too. Like keep Anakin’s obsessive worry over Padmé making a mistake, keep the best part of the arc which is his talk with Obi Wan where Obi Wan tries to connect with him and explain that he’s not alone, all Jedi have emotional struggles and have loved, if perhaps he wants to TALK to someone about it, Obi Wan is here for him, like that? That’s okay!

Just ugh ffs, get rid of the nasty Anakin treating Padmé like a naughty dog who won’t obey him and the Padmé purposely acting unwisely to spite Anakin plot. Have the entire conflict be both of them being upset that the other doesn’t trust them, doesn’t believe in their advice, keep Padmé’s speech about how marriages NEED trust and compromise to survive, take all of Anakin’s aggression towards Padmé and transfer it to aggression towards Clovis, like make the conflict him menacing the guy if he hurts Padmé again just because he’s being overprotective and “if you won’t look out for yourself I will” and Anakin getting constantly checked for not being able to control his emotions, Padmé can tell him off for being overprotective instead of overaggressive and his possessiveness can instead show through him arguing that he needs to keep her safe at all costs. THAT can be the argument.

And if they want the Vader foreshadowing? Like real, in-character Vader foreshadowing??? Tbh, drop the Clovis beatdown, drop the machoness towards Padmé, and just have Anakin blatantly DROP the douchebag at the end of the episode instead of his hand slipping. Make him choose to ACTIVELY kill Clovis. Like THAT, Anakin taking the law into his own hands and deciding that he knows best and this guy is dangerous and has fucked up one too many times, there being an opportunity where there’s an chance to save Clovis when they’re alone without Pads, “be a Jedi, Padmé wouldn’t want this, do the right thing” Clovis might say, and we can see Anakin’s face considering, and then he just “Long Live The King”s him and lets him fall and die, THAT is an in-character Vader foreshadowing.

Then at the end of the episode, we can have Anakin lie to her, say Clovis slipped, say it was too late, and Padmé can believe him, thank him for trying. Then there’s the same thing where Padmé apologizes, and we can have a callback to the convo about trust and she adds that she’s sorry that she didn’t trust him, and when she says that, we zoom in on Anakin’s guilty face.

There. That’s how I’d fix these episodes

And THERE, I think I’ve complained about everything, I am SO sorry for the gigantic ass post and response, I’ll add a read more once I’m on my laptop and not on the beach on mobile.

But yeah anon, I hope that satisfies your question xD

Once again, I welcome discussion if y’all either agree with me or if you have any differing opinions, I know my takes are far from hot for several people and I’m curious to see what others think!

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

Enemies | Darth Maul x Fem!Reader | Part I

Note: Maul is a little OOC in this story but I hope this is fine. Since this is the first part there’s a big part who’s basically just explaining and the rest is some action. I hope I brought out the feelings well :)

Also, I implemented one of my headcanons, that the horns of Zabrak grow a little when they’re happy/excited.

And whoops Reader is a Jedi Shadow again. People might have realized by now but I love them. No one can stop me ok.

Fandoms: Star Wars, The Clone Wars

Warnings: Non-Canon Story, Angst, Fighting, Death, Slight OOC, Original Characters

Summary of this series: Y/N mourns for something she can never have but Maul won’t let her.

Word Count: 7′034

Taglist: @princessayveke​ @pinkiemme​

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

Part II

_______ 

They were children when they first met. He was so young. Only four years old. She was young too. Although 2 years older. He was a born nightbrother, but she didn't belong to the nightsisters.

In fact, her presence on Dathomir had been an accident. The ship that should have brought her to Coruscant crashed after they had been hunted by pirates. When she woke up, she was alone. There was no sign of the Jedi who took her from her parents or anyone else of the ship's crew. Only two curious yellow eyes that watched her from a safe distance.

"Who are you?!"

The first thing she wielded in her life wasn't a lightsaber, no, that would come later. It was a pathetic dry stick from a dead tree. Dathomir didn't have much to offer at the crashsite of her ship, unfortunately. 

She held the stick with both hands and proceeded to lie her head off:

"I am the princess from Coruscant, and my knights will kill you if you do anything to me! So come out!"

There was a short silence until a timid voice spoke:

"You're really a princess?"

That's when he first stepped before her, and they met eye to eye. He was a midget. A red midget with the roundest eyes she had ever seen and horns, which made him look like the bounty hunter in her hometown. But unlike that old man, he had strange black marks in his face.

"Of course, I am! Do I not look like one?!"

She never forgot his reply. "No, you look like one. You're beautiful!" Even then, he was already able to sweet talk.

His answer satisfied her and the arrogant child she was, she lowered her weapon and let him approach her. He did eventually, but he froze when she suddenly touched his head and small horns.

"Does your brain not hurt?"

It shouldn't have been possible, but the red skin colored boy turned red some more. Having her hands touching his head everywhere caused his cheeks to heat up.

"E-Everyone has these here!"

He grabbed her hands, and both of them paused. E/C met yellow. His innocent eyes showed her reflection and her dirty state. 

Suddenly she had to cry. Sir Jedi was probably dead after all. She left her parents behind, and she really missed her home. And her plushie. Mr. Grog might also be gone after the explosion of their spaceship.

Her tears surprised him and made him panic, something that happened even when they met years later. He tugged at her hands, and she got pulled into his arms. But unfortunately, he really was a squirt, and both of them tumbled to the ground.

His breath got taken away by her, laying on top of him, but he didn't mind. She was so different than the nightsisters he had met. Not disgusted of touching him. He fell in love right there and then. Though he would strongly deny it in the future.

"Why are you crying?"

He put his hand on her hair, and the softness stunned him. She really must be a princess. He petted her slowly, something he saw the older nightsisters do to the younger ones. He could feel her tears wetting his clothes, and her loneliness made his heart clench.

"I'm all alone now!"

But she wasn't, He was there. His hands were like magic. Her tears stopped soon after he began to draw things on her back.

"Y-You have me."

"But I don't know you!"

"My name is ... What's yours?"

"Y-Y/N."

And that's how they got to know each other. He had another name back then but he got rid of it. Maul was his new name. The boy took her to the village, told his mother that he found her all alone. He didn't give away that he had seen another person from the shipwreck. 

The nightsisters were suspicious first, but when they found out that she was force sensitive like them, they decided to take her in. For two years, she lived on Dathomir and learned the ways of the nightsisters with Maul as her best friend. 

"In the future, I will be your soulmate!"

When she had told her that he almost began to cry. Not a reaction you would expect from someone who really, really liked Y/N.

"NEVER! If you give birth to a child, I'll get killed!"

"Then we just never kiss! We can still be soulmates if we don't kiss, right?"

The fact that they didn't really know anything about love made them say weird things.

Maul wasn't too sure, but they made a promise that they would be soulmates in the future and marry. Although Y/N had to explain to Maul what marrying actually meant - obviously through a child’s eyes - since the customs on Dathomir were different to the ones on her home planet. 

He never told her that but when she had explained that marrying basically meant always eating together, sleeping in the same bed and holding hands, he had really liked the idea of such a future. Of course, the young girl only knew the things she had seen from the marriage of her parents.

The whole not kissing aspect was eventually broken, though. Obviously not by him, because he was shy and seriously believed that she would get pregnant if he gave her even just a peck on the lips. 

But he really liked her. And she really liked him. So much that she understood that her way of liking him was the same as the way some fallen nightsisters had liked their mates. It was love.

And then one day, when Maul came beaten and bruised from his training as a nightbrother and he laid next to her, Y/N leaned over him and gave him a kiss. 

It was short, nothing more than a light peck, but when their lips touched, butterflies burst in her chest and it was as if the whole world lit up.

Maul’s yellow eyes widened and the Zabrak pushed her away out of reflex. She looked at him with a shocked expression.

“NO! What are you doing?!”

Panic was laced in his voice and he grabbed her arms with a little too much strength. Y/N winced and her eyes began to water. The giddy feeling disappeared immediately. 

“Wha-What?”, she stammered and he shook her.

“I- I’m not ready! My traini- the baby- we have to leave!”

She just sat there, not understanding why he was so startled. She was more intrigued by the fact that his horns seemed to have grown a little. He suddenly grabbed her hand and dragged her on her feet. 

“Hu-hurry, Y/N! Before they find out! Let’s talk with my mother, she’ll help us!”

“Find out what?”

“About the baby!”

And then it blanked on her. 

“Oh no.”

And then they hurried back to his home, where Y/N, Maul, his two brothers and his mother resided. A long talk followed and the two children eventually went to bed with different thoughts. 

The young girl was somewhat disappointed that she couldn’t have another playmate besides Maul and his brothers but she was also relieved because she now knew that kissing Maul would not make her pregnant. That meant she could do it again. The thought made her grin.

Maul on the other hand was embarrassed, mainly because he had almost cried when they ran into his mother and he had yelled at her to “save Y/N and their baby” but also because he really liked the kiss. But he was also slightly annoyed. I wanted to kiss her first. 

“Maul?”

He turned his head to see the other side of the room, where Y/N laid in her small bed. He could see her glistening eyes.

“Ye-Yes?”

“I think I love you.”

A blush crept across his cheeks.

“Okay.”

He couldn’t say it out loud but he said it in his head. 

Unknown to both of them, Y/N’s words had been heard by his mother.

When they woke up again the next morning some things had changed. There was the giddy atmosphere between the two, while Maul’s mother looked at them with a rather dark expression. The two would soon find out why.

.

Their closeness was something the nightsisters didn't like because it spoke against their ideas of mates and they decided to separate them. Both cried and cried for days. 

Their bond was strong, after all, and they not only had they lived together for two years but they also played together every day. Since Y/N was taken from her family, Maul had become a replacement and they were close. Really close.  

But it was no use. They didn't see each other for a month. And when they finally met again, it was the last time in their childhood. 

A republic ship had landed on Dathomir. And they were looking for the girl that was supposed to become a Jedi youngling. The person Maul had seen leaving the space ship was the Jedi Master, who took Y/N from her family. The man had survived for two years alone in the swamps and somehow contacted the Jedi Order to save him and the girl. 

According to him, the nightsisters captured her and brainwashed her to join the dark side. Which was bullshit. She realized that later. The things she had learned on Dathomir had saved her life on more than one occasion.

But they arrived and forcefully took her back. 5 Jedi came to her apparent rescue, but the peacekeepers of the galaxy ignored her wails and cries when they dragged her to the ship. She screamed Maul's name and found his face in the crowd who was held back by some soldiers. Don't leave me! pleaded his eyes.

But she did. She had no choice. They didn't even ask if she wanted to go with them. When the ramp of the ship closed, she freed herself from the Jedi's grip and bit him. Hard. The man reacted poorly, unlike a Jedi was supposed to. 

He pushed her away, and she fell on the floor. Hateful tears streamed down her cheeks, and she channeled her powers to slam the 5 men against the wall. The force was strong in her, and her emotions boosted it, that's why she succeeded. Three of them got pressed to the wall, the other two who where Jedi masters only slid back a bit. Using the force was tiring, and she slumped. The padawans got released.

"Let me go! I want to go back! I want to go home! Maul! Maul!!"

Her voice was shrill and full of desperation, but they didn't react. Ignored her tantrum and whispered something between themselves. 

"Her emotions are way too strong! What is Master Yoda thinking? The dark side has already engulfed her!"

Only one of them didn't say anything. The Jedi watched her with a neutral expression, and she returned the eye contact with a piercing gaze. 

I hate you! 

As if he had read her thoughts, he snorted and turned to face the others. 

"I believe Master Yoda knows what to do with her."

And the Jedi grandmaster did.

He turned her into a Jedi. Made her a youngling, later a padawan - although not his - and then when the High Council thought she was ready, they knighted her.

Over the course of many years, the small girl learned about her special abilities, about the force, about the Jedi, the Dark Side of the force, the responsibility they had to shoulder, and why attachments were forbidden.

Although she had questioned the principles secretly, she never voiced any hesitation or critical questions. When she got separated from Maul she had racked her brains to find out why, although she only realized why when the nightsisters ordered her to read the stories about the Fallen sisters again. After that lesson, she knew well enough when something wasn’t supposed to be said. So she left her doubts unsaid.

When she had arrived at the temple she was unbelievably sad and her heart was hurting. When the Jedi took her from her family, she didn’t really realize what that meant. But being taken from Dathomir after she was a little older and formed such a close bond with Maul, she understood that they had parted and would probably never meet again. 

This left her devastated and it took half a year for her to adapt.

Her sadness and arrogant side vanished with time, but her determined character trait stayed and it made her into an extraordinary Jedi.

Y/N was powerful, the secret pride of the grandmaster. Her patience and knowledge were as vast and deep as the seas of Kamino. Her lightsaber skills were unmatched by many of her fellow padawans, and she could even stand her ground against some of the Jedi knights. 

Her Master, the guy who had ignored her tantrum, was impressed by her natural affinity for the force. And so he had asked Master Yoda if he could take her as his padawan. 

The grandmaster was hesitant at first. Because the man wasn't a Jedi Knight. He was a sentinel, a shadow, to be exact. A path that would undoubtedly be difficult for Y/N, especially since she was found on Dathomir. But he accepted, and she became the padawan of a renowned Jedi Shadow. Yoda was proud, but deep down, also worried. Although he didn't tell her that.

Every youngling had heard about Y/N. Before the rumors of a Chosen One started, there were many about a Prodigy. Her name was whispered during classes, and there were bets and dares in the circles of the younger generations. 

"I dare you to confess your love to Y/N L/N!"

"But I don't even like her! Attachment is forbidden, Mia!"

"It's just a game, and we all wanna see if her face will blush! Come on."

But there was one flaw about the prodigy. 

One thing that she could not erase. The padawan Y/N L/N ached for something. Someone. And her yearning - she wasn't the only one who knew it - would be her downfall. But she tried to hide it, built walls around that part of her heart and succeeded- until that one day.

-

[16:00, 32 BBY, Coruscant, Jedi Temple]

"...my only conclusion can be that it was a Sith Lord."

The air in the chamber changed immediately. Qui Gon Jinn, the Jedi reporting the things that happened on Tatooine, held his head up high, his expression was neutral, but the weight of his words was visible in his eyes.

Master Ki turned his head to face Master Yoda and said with a disbelieving undertone:

"Impossible! The Sith have been extinct for a millennium."

"I do not believe they could have returned without us knowing," added Master Windu, and Jinn's padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi furrowed his brows.

Yoda hummed in response, he sighed and then stated:

"Hard to see, the dark side is. Discover who this assassin is, we must."

The other council members nodded, their faces were grim.

"I sense he will reveal himself again," meant Master Ki.

Master Yaddle, who had listened to Jinn's report, silently began to speak up, and when she did, everyone turned. The Jedi all tensed when they heard her words:

"For that, a shadow we should send. Someone in mind, I have. Of help, Leon Ra'eli and his padawan Y/N L/N could be."

The people in the room all had different reactions to the names that were mentioned. Plo Koon and Qui Gon Jinn raised a brow, the padawan of the latter blinked surprised, and Ki-Adi-Mundi, Mace Windu, and Yoda showed a worried expression.

"We must discuss this with the Council of First Knowledge, Master Yaddle," remarked Saesee Tiin and shared a look with the Jedi grandmaster. Yoda nodded slightly.

"I believe Leon would certainly be of help."

Obi-Wan turned to his Master. His eyes clearly asking why the Jedi would speak this freely in front of the council just for another Jedi. He was aware that he was acquainted with the Jedi shadow but the padawan was confused anyway. 

Qui Gon hid his hands in his sleeves and bowed slightly when Master Windu frowned at him. Although he was looked at with intimidating stares, he didn't back down and continued: 

"I heard he has been training an extraordinary padawan. Both of them would be a great aid if another attack like the one on Tatooine would happen."

Obi-Wan smiled a little, when his Master talked about Y/N. He knew her from his youngling days. And according to the rumors going around, she had truly turned into an exceptional padawan, a proud feeling spread in his chest.

The dark-skinned Jedi Master huffed and then leaned back in his seat.

"This attack on Tatooine was with purpose, that is clear, and I agree the Queen is the target. If a Jedi Shadow and Qui Gon Jinn would remain at her side..."

Yoda nodded slowly.

"With this Naboo queen, you must stay, Qui-Gon. Protect her."

The Jedi bowed.

"Yes, Master."

-

And that was the beginning of Y/N's doom. That goddamn mission. Something entirely different for the Jedi Shadow in training. 

Until now, she had to research old Sith artifacts, go on missions to find lost holocrons, and look for secret Dark Side places with her Master. But that was it. Of course, there was always a certain degree of danger coming with those missions but it was nothing truly worrying, the Dark Side she encountered left her uninterested and funnily she wasn’t scared. 

She spent two years on Dathomir, a planet which - according to the Jedi archives - was a space for evil powers. The feeling from those places was familiar and to a certain degree even calming but she didn’t tell her master.

In other words, she never actually came in contact with a Dark Side user much less a Sith. But now she and Leon were assigned to investigate an assassin who could possibly be a Sith, a Sith lord, to be exact. 

The tightness in her chest was definitely from her nervousness, but there was also something else to it. She wasn’t scared, the feeling was more like curiosity but Y/N also had a bad premonition about the upcoming task. But she kept her concerns to herself. Like always.

.

It was night when they left the Jedi temple. Both wore long black robes, and their faces were hidden under their hoods. Master Ra'eli had told her that although they were escorting Queen Amidala, they would not focus on keeping her safe. Both the High Council and the Council of First Knowledge agreed on the priority to catch the potential Sith. Protecting the queen laid in the hands of the two other Jedi. 

When Y/N first heard that they would accompany to Jedi knights, Master Qui Gon Jinn and his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, she was relieved. 

She and Obi-Wan were friends when she was a youngling. He was only one year older than her, and although they chose entirely different paths, they parted with good and happy memories. 

Obi-Wan had been a pillar in Y/N's life when she had to learn how to accept that she would probably never meet Maul and her parents again. He dried her tears, let her meditate with him and calmed her down when she had a nightmare. 

Although they hadn't seen each other in a few years, the padawan believed that they would click again, and everything would be like in their youngling years. 

But when she and her Master arrived at the Senate landing platform and everyone was already there, and Leon greeted his fellow Jedi, something happened.

As soon as Y/N laid eyes on Obi-Wan's Master, a sudden pain bolted through her head, and she staggered. 

Her hand shot to her forehead, and the padawan grabbed her Master's robe for support. He turned alarmed and watched her with concerned brown eyes when she winced in pain. 

A vision flashed before her eyes: black robes, a red and green lightsaber clashing, yellow eyes, and a screaming Obi-Wan. 

What...?

"Y/N?" 

Her Master's voice took her back to her senses. She looked up to see his and Master Jinn's worried faces. Obi-Wan looked just as disturbed as them. 

"I-I think I just had a vision," she whispered weakly and let go of Leon's sleeves. 

However, she hadn't regained her balance yet, her legs faltered, and if her Master hadn't grabbed her arm in time, she would have tumbled to the ground. 

"A vision?", asked Obi-Wan and the young man shared a look with Qui Gon. 

"What did you see, padawan?" he asked, and all three of the Jedi watched her expectantly. She gulped. The feeling in her chest from before became stronger. The eyes in her vision seemed faintly familiar. 

"I..." she began hesitantly, "There will be a fight. I think the assassin will show up again. And..." She turned to her Master, her expression grim, "I'm certain he's a Sith. I could feel the wrath and hatred Master. Stronger than in any artifact we ever found."

This revelation was shocking, but only the queen's followers all visibly paled. The three Jedi showed dark expressions. Her Master helped Y/N back on her feet, and she bit her lip. 

He looked at her, and she could read in his eyes that the situation was dire. 

Trust in your abilities and the force. 

Words from her training lessons with Leon resounded in her mind, and she straightened her back. Although she was intimidated now, she would not falter. A Jedi Shadow’s mission was to extinguish the evil that Sith brought into this world. She could not hesitate.

"We will make sure that that Sith will not harm anyone," declared her Master, and the queen nodded. His words seemed to calm her entourage, but Y/N smiled bitterly. If her vision would come true... 

No, let’s not worry.

They finally began to board the ship, she gave her Master a tap on the shoulder, and he slightly turned his head. She only formed one word with her lips, but he understood. She had more to tell, but only to him. 

-

While the two other Jedi discussed some political matter with the queen, Leon and Y/N stayed in a separate room to talk about her vision. 

“I sense you have something else to say.”

"Master... I worry that one of us will be hurt."

Her confession was difficult to admit for her, after all it was against the emotional walls she had built, but she had to tell him anyway. It concerned the well being of  a Jedi. 

She expected her Master to be shocked or at least concerned, but his expression remained neutral, as usual. This fact calmed her a little. In all those years she had known her Master, there was never a moment, where the other didn’t control his emotions.

"Did you see that in your vision?"

She nodded and wrung with her hands. Only in her Master's presence could she let her walls down to a certain degree. The force in the room swirled from her uneasiness.

"I think Master Jinn will get injured..."

Leon breathed in slowly and sat down on one of the cots. His face stayed emotionless, but his eyes betrayed him. For a second deep worry glistened in them, and the way he bit his lip also showed how her words got to him. But it was gone when she blinked. She frowned.

Did I imagine that?

"We must trust in the force."

Y/N expected him to add more, but he stayed silent, looking like he was deep in thought. The force in the room rippled, and she knew that he would meditate for the next few hours.

"You can rest if you want to, Y/N," murmured her Master and slipped to the floor, where he sat cross-legged. She shook her head and sat down too. "Let me join you, Master." He looked at her and smiled slightly. 

"Okay."

They both began to meditate, and soon the force around them changed again. The change spread through the whole ship, and the two other Jedi got distracted from their discussions. 

Obi-Wan and Qui Gon exchanged a glance, and both thought the same. The Jedi Master voiced their thoughts: "Don't worry, your Majesty. You are in good hands, and with Master Ra'eli and his padawan here, the Sith will not have a chance."

But he was wrong. Horribly wrong.

-

And then they met. 

It was as if the earth stopped spinning. 

The corner of her lips lifted, her face displayed many emotions. Worry turned into shock, shock turned into surprise, and surprise turned into joy. Her heart began to beat faster and it was so loud and strong that she believed that it could shake the whole planet.

He had grown up. Some more tattoos got added in his face and he now resembled the look of other nightbrothers who lived on Dathomir, it gave him a domineering appearance and her heart skipped a beat. It was familiar but at the same time, it wasn’t.

His eyes had also changed, the color was slightly different. The beautiful yellow that had reminded Y/N of the sun now held traces of red, and they were burning with a fire that she couldn’t quite place. 

But the force seemed to cry out in pain and the luring darkness in his force presence alarmed her. Something was wrong.

Although she recognized him immediately, this was not the boy she had met on Dathomir, this wasn't the friend she had longed for, not the kid she had dreamt about, not the boy who promised to marry her and whom she kissed. This person before her was a Sith, her enemy. 

And it broke her heart. 

While the queen's guards scattered and left, her grip around her lightsaber faded, and a second later, she dropped it. The impact resounded loudly in her head as if a bomb had detonated. She couldn’t hear anything else. Not the leaving footsteps of the security forces, not her Master calling out her name, nor how the queen asked Qui Gon Jinn how to proceed. 

His name rushed over her lips, and he frowned and looked at her. 

Then his eyes widened, and the tattoos in his face twisted in realization. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. 

His focus moved, and she noticed how her Master had activated his lightsaber beside her.

"You know him, padawan?" asked Master Ra'eli calmly, and she could only nod. 

Maul stiffened from their interaction and grabbed his lightsaber. Her Master stepped forward, and suddenly her lightsaber was once again in her hand. She gripped it so hard, her knuckles turned white.

"So, this is him? From 16 years ago? Oh, Y/N."

Leon's words hit her right in the gut. She had confessed how dearly she missed Maul when she became his padawan - although leaving out the part about their promise and kiss - and her Master had reacted as any other Jedi would have. 

Attachments are forbidden, padawan. You will forget these feelings soon. 

When she first had heard those words, she felt crushed. 

Was her connection to Maul really something bad? Somehow she couldn't believe that emotions were able to come without attachments. Weren't Jedi supposed to keep the people of the galaxy safe? Wouldn't her bond with Maul motivate her to make sure he's alright? 

And it wasn't like she obsessively loved him, like all those fallen Jedi she had to read about in the archives after she told her Master about her feelings. The Zabrak was her best friend. Nothing more. Or nothing more came out of their friendship. Or that's at least what she had told herself, completely disregarding that they had kissed and she was the one who initiated it. She was in denial.

But now that they finally met again, it turned out that he was the Sith Lord, and her heart was literally being torn apart. In the end, there was no mistake, Y/N did love Maul. But not this version of him in front of her. 

The padawan felt torn. The Zabrak before her eyes was her old best friend and they had sworn to be there for each other until the day they died. They had promised to marry. They kissed. She told him she loved him. But on the other hand, he appeared to be the enemy of the principles she had been taught for years. Two years against sixteen. The winner was obvious.

"You... I remember you."

The Zabrak clenched his fists tighter around his lightsaber and activated it. The red blades flared, and they seemed to represent the force around them, which was churning from the Sith's anger.

The padawan didn't know if he was addressing her because he didn't waste another second to look at her. But that was fine because she was sure that another eye contact with him would break down the walls she had built for the last decade. Also, she wasn’t sure if she would do something against the Jedi code if he addressed her directly. 

Qui Gon and Obi-Wan seemed to have realized that something was going on between Y/N and the Sith because they sent the queen with the security forces and stayed, ready to assist Leon and his padawan. 

It was against their plan but the man before them apparently was dangerous enough for them to change it.

Obi-Wan stepped up to her, his lightsaber activated and he held it up defensively. His hand touched her back, and he whispered:

"Y/N? Get a hold of yourself."

Her head snapped in his direction, and he gave her a reassuring smile, although he appeared nervous.

"Jedi!", snarled Maul and his eyes burned with rage when he dropped his robe and then suddenly leaped forward to attack. 

Y/N's heart skipped a beat and she flinched. She couldn't tell if it was because he seemed to run towards her or because his overbearing aura intimidated her, but it didn't matter because the Zabrak couldn’t reach her. 

Her Master stepped before her, and his yellow dual lightsaber skillfully parried Maul's attack. 

"You are outnumbered, Sith."

Qui Gon didn't waste a second and also jumped into the fight, their lightsabers clashed, and sparks flew. Obi-Wan gave her a glance and then joined in. The strange look he gave her took Y/N back to her senses, and she activated her own lightsaber. 

It was also dual-bladed and yellow, although her hilt was from Orichalc material and wrapped with leather for a better grip. The yellow glow calmed her down to a certain degree, and the familiarity of the blade in her hand cleared her head temporarily. 

I need to talk with him! There must be a misunderstanding!

Her eyes focused on the Sith and the three other Jedi who had already gained a certain distance from her. She ran after them and noticed that they passed into the Theed power generator facility. 

"Master, wait!"

The fighting Jedi ignored her shout and performed a series of fierce attacks, which all got fended off by Maul. Qui Gon aimed for the Sith's legs, but the Zabrak avoided his lightsaber and somersaulted backward on the bridge. 

Y/N's heart pounded loudly in her ears, worry filled her chest, worry for her fellow Jedi and also Maul. In the end, she couldn't ignore her heart. 

She used the force to jump forward a considerable distance and now stood next to Obi-Wan. She felt light-headed, partly because of the adrenaline rush from the whole situation but also because she was slightly scared of heights.

"I know him, Master Jinn, stop attacking!" she turned her head to the Sith, calling out his name: "let's talk, please! Do you not remember m-" 

Before she could finish, the Zabrak pushed his hands forward, and she was sent flying by the force. Everything she had been taught, all the techniques and rules for a fight. It was as if she had forgotten them when her eyes laid on Maul. The prodigy acted like a youngling and she had to pay the price for it.

Her back hit the wall of the room, and something broke. Black dots flooded her vision, and pain burst through her whole body.

She couldn't hear clearly because her head was ringing, but she believed that someone had shouted her name. Although she couldn't be sure because before she could open her eyes again, she temporarily fell unconscious.

.

It felt like a long time but was indeed only a minute later, that she woke up. Her thought process was slow when she stirred.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts!!

A groan escaped her lips, and something warm dampened the back of her head. 

Is this how you feel in the Trial of the Flesh? If so, then I don't want to become a full Jedi... I can't believe he attacked me, Maker...

Her thoughts were all over the place, dizziness caused her vision to blur, and her mind wandered from the pain to the Jedi Trials, the archives, her time on Dathomir, and to Maul. Her injuries hurt like hell but she was almost crying from the pain in her heart.

What happened to him? How could he... Has he really fallen to the Dark Side? 

She tried to move upright and used the force to calm her fluttering nerves. 

Focus. 

Focus!

The blurriness of her vision vanished, and she finally saw clearly again, right on time for her to catch a glimpse of Obi-Wan running past some laser doors at the other end of the gigantic room.

I must stop them!

Her legs felt like jelly when she tried to stand up, and although her balance was undoubtedly off, she was still able to stand. Not without feeling immense pain, though. Y/N was sure that she had at least three broken ribs. 

Let go of the pain. 

She remembered her training and breathed in and out slowly. She closed her eyes for a second to concentrate on the force, and she was able to feel the fierce battle that took place at the other end of the bridge. Anxiety welled up again but she ignored it with gritted teeth.

The padawan began to move forward, slowly at first, then she picked up the pace and limped over the bridge towards the laser doors, ignoring the fact that she had lost her lightsaber somewhere.

When she crossed the bridge her legs almost gave out. She had tried not to look down, her fear of heights couldn’t stop her in this crucial moment, but now she felt the adrenaline rush and it almost made her fall over.

It was then when she reached the first laser door when she felt the cry in the force. 

A life got critically injured. And guessing from Obi-Wan's scream, it was his Master's. 

Y/N stumbled. The pain in the force was breathtaking. Emotions that didn't belong to her filled her chest and grief caused her eyes to prick. 

What shocked her, even more, was that her Master seemed to hurt as much as Qui Gon's padawan. The Jedi Shadow had shouted the other man's name when he got impaled, and now through the flaring red doors, she could see Leon swinging his sword wildly to attack Maul and the Zabrak defending himself. 

Why...?

The force presence of her Master seemed off, and his erratic movements void from any specific form proved that he lost himself to his emotions. 

The fact that the usually composed Leon Ra'eli now fought like that caused her fists to clench. 

Why is he acting like that?! This contradicts everything he ever taught me!

This scared her more than the potential death of Qui Gon Jinn.

Obi-Wan seemed to burn with rage too. His shoulders lifted with every breath he took, and she could sense his anger mixed with grief and anguish. 

Y/N heaved with all the sudden emotions she had to experience. Her guts twisted when she sensed pleasure, and it took her a second to realize that Maul was the one who was very pleased about the injury of the Jedi Master.

This was the ultimate proof that the Zabrak who fought against Leon wasn't the midget from Dathomir. But before she could spill even one tear over that fact, the laser doors got deactivated, and Obi-Wan jumped forward to attack the Sith. 

She began to run, but she wasn't fast enough, her wounds slowed her down. The pain was almost unbearable and the whole situation seemed to test her entire being. The doors activated before her nose, and she staggered.

Right, when she caught her balance again, Obi-Wan slashed Maul's lightsaber in two, and her Master pushed the Sith towards the edge with the force. 

The Zabrak was able to catch himself in time and jumped forward, his lightsaber only one blade now. He snarled and swung his weapon at the two Jedi, but they seemed to finally have the high ground and attacked him mercilessly. 

Y/N watched with sweaty hands how the Zabrak got pushed into defense, and although she should root for her fellow Jedi, although it was obvious that he wanted to kill them all, although he clearly engulfed the Dark Side, she couldn't stop herself from worrying for Maul. 

Please stop fighting! Just stop!

She feared for all of them, which didn't make sense for her head, but her heart ignored all her rational thoughts. It almost leaped out of her chest when Obi-Wan got force pushed into the melting pit, but from the way the other two men acted, he was still alive. Immense relief washed over her and her knees buckled.

Y/N felt dizzy from all the feelings she had to deal with, and the fact that she hit her head and even bled to some extent gave her body one more reason why to falter. She had to hold her head because it felt like a bullet was shot through it. 

The pain distracted her from the fight, and when she looked up again, her and Maul's eyes suddenly met.

He looked at her, over Obi-Wan's shoulder, who had suddenly appeared, his face full of shock and... regret?

It took her a second to notice the lack of fighting between the two men. They just stood there, Obi-Wan held the lightsaber of his Master in his hand and his pose looked like he had just taken a large swing.

Was it over? Did they finally calm down and listen?

Y/N opened her mouth to say something when time seemed to slow down, Maul’s lightsaber deactivated, and he slowly fell backward.

His and her eyes found themselves again, and while hers widened in panic, his slightly closed as if the Zabrak was smiling at her. His lips formed something but she was too panicked to focus on it.

Before a scream could erupt from her throat, he was gone. 

He was gone.

The laser doors opened again. Obi-Wan didn't waste a second glance and rushed to his Master's side, where her own Master already knelt. He laid Qui Gon's head in his lap. 

"Master! Master!"

The pain in Obi-Wan's voice reflected the one the female padawan was feeling. Some words were whispered between the dying Jedi and his student, but Y/N didn't hear any of it. 

No, no. No, NO!

She slowly stood up, her legs shaking, and she made her way into the room. Her eyes solely focused on the cooling pit. A wail escaped her lips, and she tried to form his name, although she failed. She couldn’t form a single word. She couldn’t bring herself to look over the edge. Her breath quickened and she panted as if she just ran for her life.

Hey. 

Y/N.

You changed. Not so small anymore, huh?

Things happened after you left. And you have no right to say anything, you would barely reach my chin with your height.

A small smile formed on her lips. Her eyes were strangely empty.

Why did you become...?

A Sith? I'm not. This is all a misunderstanding.

Right? I knew it. You would never turn to the Dark Side. You would never.

The padawan sank to her knees at the edge, eyes still trained on the hole before her. Her hands were violently shaking and she gripped her robes with such a force that her knuckles turned white.

...?

Hmmm?

Where did you go?

What do you mean? I'm right here with you.

Of course. There's no way you're...

Y/N turned her head slightly, and a grey object on the ground near the wall caught her eye. With a flick of her wrist, she absently minded caught the severed lightsaber half and traced it with trembling fingers.

There's no way you're dead.

There were a thousand thoughts in her mind right now, but the one that stood out the most was the fact that Obi-Wan had cut Maul in half.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, her friend from the Jedi had killed her best friend from Dathomir.

"Let me carry him, Obi-Wan."

The weak voice of her Master invaded her thoughts, and she slowly turned to the two other Jedi and the corpse. 

We Jedi do not kill, Y/N. Only if it’s absolutely necessary. Preserving a life is more important, even if they are tainted by the Dark Side. Sith can be saved too. Darth Revan is proof of that. Never forget this.

Liar.

In the end, 2 years appeared to be stronger than 16.

The killer held his Master's dead body, and the shaking of his shoulders gave his sadness away. She felt nothing for him, neither pity, nor worry. She was completely numb.

There is no death, there is the force, do you not know your own code?

"We must report back to the temple," was all she said. Her voice was unnaturally cold.

Her Master looked at her, his expression was heartbroken, and she had to turn her gaze away. Or else he would have seen her hateful stare.

For the first time in her life, Y/N truly despised the Jedi and their hypocrisy.

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

Day #6 of Crosshair x Korkie

Guys, my ask is always open. Start telling me if I’m doing something wrong with my ship. Tell if Korkie is too OOC or Crosshair isn’t doing much. I’m willing to hear about.

Hit me with your best shot like Crosshair!

————————

The twin suns of Tatooine rose and so did Obi-Wan for breakfast. He still could not believe that he had a son by Satine or that said son became a bounty hunter in desperation, but he will accept the truth and give the pair so wisdom before they leave.

He chuckled. Now he knew what his old Jedi Master felt when they were on the run with Satine. Qui-Gon Jinn was always the one breaking up his and Satine’s arguments before they got physical.

Satine might have chosen the pacifist’s path later in life, but no one would have believed it when she was close to punching Obi-Wan’s face. That was only a month into protecting the young Duchess of Mandalore. He now wonders if Korkie has thrown a punch in his partnership and not just a slap.

Obi-Wan went to the kitchen and found Crosshair already waiting for him. The clone tired and plastered with a frown. Obi-Wan wondered if he and Korkie got into another fight, or if he was merely hungry.

“Good day, Crosshair,” he greeted the clone.

“Technically, I should have killed both of you,” Crosshair sighed.

“Thank you for the bluntness.”

“Did you know Korkie talks in his sleep? I finally figured that one out and it’s scaring me that I had to wake up early to find you.”

“Well, people do talk in their sleep.”

“Do they talk about wars that happened before they were born? Or the fact that he knows there’s another Jedi near here?”

Obi-Wan was surprised to hear how Korkie was using the Force. Yet, he more worried about Korkie knowing about Luke. He trust Korkie to keep Luke a secret from his father, but the fear that Palpatine might torture his son for information was greater.

“Don’t worry about us spilling more secrets to people. I don’t think Korkie can handle breaking his old man’s heart again.”

“And you? Can I trust you?”

Crosshair twitched an eyebrow and looked at the Jedi. He knows from past experiences that even if he fights this man, the Jedi would still win. Also, this was Korkie’s father and he wasn’t ready for another fight because he knows Korkie can find someone embarrassing about him for blackmail purposes.

“You can. I don’t want Korkie to throw another tantrum at me. He slaps harder than he looks.”

Obi-Wan smirked at the comment. Korkie was going easy on the clone.

“At least he’s not wanting to punch you. Satine almost did that to me. My late Master, Qui-Gon, had to stop her at the last second before I got a black eye.”

Crosshair smirked and took out a toothpick to bite. He knows a lot about Korkie from last night, but he knows the boy held back a few. Hearing about Korkie’s mother might just shine a light to his attitude. And maybe how to handle his dramatic ass.

“What was she like?” Crosshair asked.

“Satine?” Obi-Wan inquired.

“Who else? Was she like Korkie back in the day? Or was she more reserved? Did she cause problems? What people do she cross the line? You know, those types things?”

Obi-Wan grinned. “You want to about Satine because you want to know how to handle our son, isn’t that the right answer?”

Crosshair frowned and shifted his toothpick to the other side. Guess he can’t hide anything from a Jedi.

“I will tell you about her, but I don’t think our past might help. Korkie’s Force abilities are vastly different than mine and Satine never had any Force-sensitivity. Also, we ran away from bounty hunters, not become them.”

“Practically, what you’re saying is that you can’t help me much.”

“I’m not saying that, but I will ask this, how long?”

“How long what?”

“This partnership. How long?”

“Almost a month. Why?”

Obi-Wan rubbed his chin and went into his thoughts. Satine’s death and the Fall of the Jedi were not too far part. Also, given that Luke is about to turn a half a year old... Korkie has been in exile for closely a year. And without knowledge of his home while in Kalevala. Or have anyone check up on him.

Obi-Wan had the answer and wish it wasn’t the same as Satine’s when they were on the run.

“He’s in mourning.”

“Korkie? But the Siege of Mandalore was months ago and if I do the math, Duchess Satine’s death was months prior to that. I know the usual Mandalorian mourning rituals, and this isn’t one of them.”

“Some Mandalorian clans can mourn for a long time. Yet, members of Clan Kryze should never mourn alone in their time of need.”

“He had his nanny. Though, she was from another House.”

“Which meant he didn’t mourn with the rest of House Kryze like he was supposed to. Satine said if you’re mourning for the head of the House, it must be done with family or anyone in Clan Kryze, but he must have not had the opportunity to mourn correctly.”

“And that’s why he’s acting like this? Because no one helped him mourn?”

“Yes. When my Master and I were tasked to protect Satine, her father had died protecting her and the rest of the family. She had no time to mourn and took it out on us because we were not her Aliit. To her, outsiders cannot be part of the mourning process.”

“But he can’t do it even if he wants to. He’s now cast off by his House. Also, I can’t help him either, I’m not Mandalorian by Creed.”

“True, but maybe I can help with the mourning process. I am his Buir, which means I can help the healing.”

“Will it stop the dramatic attitude?”

“Maybe, but if not... Ground him.”

Crosshair chewed his toothpick slowly while processing the idea. “Wait? I need to ground him? How?”

“Put him back to reality and make sure he finds his footing. He’ll be in the healing process when you’re with him, so he’s bound to be still be reckless. But, he will listen to you without much of a fight. It’s how we got Satine to calm down in her mourning period, she wanted to do something for herself and it got her in trouble many of the time. Yet, I was there to put her back on her feet and calm her down. If Korkie is anything like his mother, he will calm down.”

“Calm down for what?” Korkie popped out. “I heard voices and followed them to you two. What were you talking about?”

“It’s about your mourning process,” Obi-Wan explained to him. “Bo-Katan must not have given to the right process to mourn, didn’t she?”

Korkie glanced at the floored and sighed at the sight of his boots. They were dusty and worn from all the time he paced around his home in Kalevala. He waited for anyone in House Kryze to help him mourn the loss of Satine and Mandalore, but not one came. Not even Bo-Katan.

Now that he hears his own father talking about it, he realizes he should just moved on already and stop mourning. He knows the antics are getting worse, and he needs to stop acting reckless right now. Start with the fact his partner and father should never be part of the mourning process. That should be left on him and him alone.

“I understand that revealing our true relationship meant that you are my Aliit, but please don’t do this just because I need to finish my mourning period.”

“No, Korkie. I think I need to do the same. Satine was the love of my life, and I be dammed if I didn’t mourn her as the man she loved, and the husband she could have. You are my ad’ika and we must finally mourn her in peace. The correct way.”

Korkie cried and hugged his father. Maybe he should let them in. It’s better to have someone understand, than to never talk about his pain at all. Obi-Wan made them breakfast while Korkie talked about the Kryze’s mourning process to Crosshair. Crosshair wanted nothing in the mourning process because he wasn’t in House Kryze, but he will watch the mourning just to support Korkie.

After breakfast, the three headed off in speeders to Dune See to a mountain top. The height was perfect enough to send their love to Satine in the Mandalorian afterlife. Obi-Wan was the first to go to the tip of the mountain while Korkie was helped by Crosshair along the way. At the tip, Father and Son took out pieces of their past with Satine. Obi-Wan had a letter he kept for years while Korkie took a piece of jewelry from his pocket and let it shine in the light.

“It was my first jewelry I gave her,” Korkie stated. “It’s breakable and it has lost a few pieces along the way.”

“Satine wrote me a letter a long time ago,” Obi-Wan cried. “It was a month after she became the ruler of Mandalore.”

Crosshair started a fire for the two. The main part of the mourning process was to ritually send off the items to the Mandalore afterlife to be with the lost loved one. The men tossed the items to the fire and recited the Mandalorian funeral rites. Korkie would not stop crying as the flames burned his jewelry. Obi-Wan was better, but also cried as the letter went up in flames. Crosshair didn’t know what to do and watched the fire die. As the flame turned to ashes, Korkie ran up to Crosshair and hugged him.

“I am so sorry that you have to put with me,” he sobbed. “I swear, I will be better. For you, and for my family.”

Crosshair was speechless for a while. He knows Korkie was ready to move on and prove him right. He smiled and hugged the boy back.

“I know you will,” Crosshair assured him. “You’re not going to be reckless much anymore.”

Korkie hugged him harder until Obi-Wan told them they needed to go back to his home for supplies. The men raced to his home for the supplies, but when they came back, a lone female figure stood at the door.

“Oh no,” Crosshair groaned.

“You know her?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Yeah, she and I have a bit of a rivalry when it comes to shooting things.”

“Please tell me this will end well,” Korkie said.

Crosshair got off his speeder and readied his rifle. The woman did the same with her blasters.

“You got some nerve running off like that,” she called out. “I helped you with one bounty and you never kept your promise.”

“Which was what Fennec?” Crosshair sneered.

“I needed a teacher to help me become a better sniper. Yet, you ditched me and now hooked up with a nobody!”

Korkie got off his speeder and used the Force to take away her blasters. Fennec was scared at the sight of a Force-user, but stood her ground.

“Sorry about that,” Korkie apologized. “But you’re extremely wrong on one thing. I’m not Crosshair’s hook up, I’m his partner. Let’s have a civilized talk and maybe we have an agreement with the idea that you want Crosshair as a teacher.”

“Do a Jedi Mind Trick!” Crosshair called out.

“No. I am a Mandalorian. We take vows seriously. Fennec, is it? Please don’t shoot us, we just mourned my late mother and I really don’t want to have a fight tonight.”

Fennec looked embarrassed at what she heard. She understood loss and she didn’t want to intrude on the mourning period.

“Alright,” she agreed. “We’ll talk, but he needs to do what he promised.”

“He will,” Obi-Wan said. “But not here. The neighbors will check up on the sounds of blaster fire.”

“Then Mos Eisley. I hatched a ride to that place.”

“How about lunch?” Korkie asked.

“No!” Crosshair snapped. “She’s the enemy.”

“But not for right now,” Obi-Wan said. “I can sense you haven’t eaten in a while.”

Fennec wanted to protest, but her stomach said the truth. She had to have an awkward lunch with a clone, a former Jedi and his son. At least the family was nice to her. Crosshair kept hitting her with toothpicks

[liamoftheirish]

Task 24 - OOC About Your Character

1.     What do you want to get out of playing this character(s)?

To see him and his story develop, especially with relationships. 

2.     Describe your character(s) with three words.

Strong, fierce, caring.

3.     What made you decide to write this muse?

Liam was my first muse in this game, and I always wanted to play someone that went against typical fantasies of wealth and power, instead someone simple-life oriented, quiet, reserved, cold who could develop into something more if unlocked.

4.     If you could change one event in your muse’s life (in their main or canon verse), what would you change?

Nothing really, everything is carefully crafted to put Liam in the mindset he needs to be in; I already re-wrote his history when I left the game and came back, to flesh him out better. 

5.     If you could tell your muse one thing, what would you tell them?

Don’t be afraid to open up and love again.

6.     If you could give your muse one gift, what would you give them?

He’s not very sentimental or materialistic, but if possible, maybe one more day with his wife that would let him get closure. 

7.     If you had to take one positive thing away from your muse, what would you take away?

His unwavering conviction: He has his beliefs, he has his loyalties, and those don’t stray, and it’s an admirable trait to have a strong conviction that you don’t let falter. 

8.     If you could “borrow” one aspect of your muse and apply it to yourself or your own life, what would you borrow?  

His confidence in himself and his beliefs, to not care so much what others think.

9.     Do you genuinely want your muse to be happy? What do you think would make them most happy in life?

I would love Liam to be happy, I thought there was a chance at first, but that fell off; since then, it seems the options are there, but it’s on him to be more open to allow for it. Clearly the man has lived a violent, angry, and lonely life, one that he created himself because of his nature. He hasn’t allowed himself to love since his wife passed (by his hands in a blood rage), and he hasn’t allowed himself to love again. There’s been a few that have nearly unlocked that, but it’s not until he allows himself to admit it and forgive himself, that he’ll ever be truly happy.

10. Do you enjoy putting your muse through angst? What do you think would break their heart the most?

I do, even if he doesn’t seem ‘angsty’, fact is stuff bothers him inwardly and he worries. He just doesn’t like to show weakness or too many sides to himself. He has been more open, and recently been questioning some of his actions. Hurting him the most would be him harming someone he cares deeply about.

11. What do you love about your muse?

His confidence, and again, his unwavering conviction. His simple-life mindset is also something I greatly appreciate.

12. What do you hate about your muse?

His coldness and closed off mindset.

13. What about your muse amuses you?

The fact that pop-culture references just go flying over his head, because he just does not care a thing about film or TV.

14. What about your muse makes you sad?

The fact that he feels so lonely despite his friends. 

15. How would you describe your muse to someone about to meet them, in person, for the first time?

He’ll be cold, distant, a bit stand offish. May be a bit intimidating, and maybe a bit too matter-of-fact in speaking, seems to lack any real filter. If you can accept that and work past it, he’s a good friend to have though.

16. Would you like your muse as a person if you met them in real life?

Probably, but it’d be hard for me to feel comfortable to call him a friend; I’d be pretty intimidated around him until I got to know him.

17. In what ways are you better than your muse? In what ways are they better than you?

I’m more open, empathetic, able to befriend people easier, but Liam has a confidence and conviction that I lack and wish I had. I wish I could care less about what people think of me, and be more confident in who and what I am.

18. Why do you think you connect to your muse?

We both care deeply about people we love, we’re both a bit quieter, and both of us aren’t the most social of butterflies; while Liam would prefer to sit at home wood working and working on cars, I’d more than happily sit at home and write or watch movies.

19. What aspect of your muse’s personality is most important to you? What aspect of your muse’s personality do you think is most important to them? Is it the same? Why or why not?

Again, it’s his pure and unwavering confidence and conviction. I think that probably is the same with Liam as well, holding onto his identity is so invaluable to him, because if he loses that he’ll lose control and that’s when he’ll slip back into what he used to be. He struggles with the fact that he’s a violent, insatiable killer, but at the same time has compassion for life and doesn’t WANT to just attack and kill. And he has to make sure he accepts that aspect of him, of what he WANTS to be, so he can balance that against what he can be. His confidence and conviction helps maintain that balance.

20. Has your character(s) changed over the time that you have been playing them? How have they changed?

While Liam’s fundamentals, his rules to live by and moral convictions have mostly stayed the same. He has slowly opened up more, been more open to listen and talk with people; though, he doesn’t often talk about himself, he can let a bit of his past slip in here or there. He’s learned to not look at others as potential enemies or victims, but instead daring to call some of them friends. He’s able to laugh more, joke more, hopefully someone’s willing to push that to the next level someday.

About You!

1.     What is your name?

Matt

2.     What is your profession?

Beer and Wine Steward

3.     What do you do to relax?

Listen to music, write, watch films, play video games.

4.     What is your favorite treat (desert)?

Ice Cream on fresh-baked brownie/cookie with fudge dripped over it all.

5.     Favorite movie -

I’m a massive film buff, so almost every movie is a favorite to me in some fashion. I adore Star Wars for several reasons, not all of them good. Maybe my favorite movie is probably a toss up between The Big Lebowski or No Country for Old Men, any film with incredible dialogue really. But then I also absolutely love beautiful BS like the MCU films and got shivers during the Portals scene in Endgame, so yea... no idea really.

6.     Favorite book -

Currently: The Immortal Irishman - Timothy Egan (This needs to be made into a movie)

7.     Favorite vacation spot -

My favorite vacation I ever went on is a toss up between trip with friends to Portland for a wedding, and Chicago for Star Wars Celebration, but I’ve always wanted to visit Ireland. I intend to try next year.

8.     Favorite Disney movie -

The Lion King (I’m basic bitch like that, don’t at me.)

9.     How did you first get into role playing?

I started playing back when I was around 13 or 14, back on AOL, playing a Jedi in a D&D like setting... because that’s what I knew. People were accepting of it, and it was some of the greatest experience. I love story telling. 

10. What was your first platform? If it was something other than Tumblr, what made you get into Tumblr?

AOL. And why Tumblr? AOL moved to Greatest Journal, which died, and moved to Insane Journal, and I met a girl there who told me about Tumblr RP, which I said ‘that sounds stupid’... and now I’m here. So there’s that. I still really don’t know what I’m doing half the time on Tumblr, no idea how to discover games on this platform, lol.

11. What’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

100% it’s tenses. Past/present, I just write how I talk and it’s bad writing, I know. I will also simultaneously explain way too much in depth, and other times get ridiculously lazy writing in-depth.

12. Are there any languages besides English in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?

Just English. I’ve tried to learn other languages, but for whatever reason it’s very hard for me to wrap my mind around sentence structure and grammar rules in other languages.

13. Do you listen to music while your write?

Depends. If it’s just basic writing, an easy-going scene, probably not? I can get distracted from time to time; however, if I’m trying to get into a specific mood most definitely. Or if I feel a scene is heading somewhere that needs a good soundtrack? I’m a sucker for soundtracks in film, and music can really drive my mood (which is why it can be a distraction). And sometimes I write a scene specifically because I was hearing music that put me in that mood.

14. Are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?

Evening. Which is why changing positions at work will help me, when I start working more during the day. When I work at night it’s hard for me to get up and get going enough in the morning to write. 

15. How does tiredness affect your writing?

Do you know how many times I write something exhausted, and when I come back to read it I absolutely hate it? It affecs me greatly...

16. What is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?

Motivation, mood. I’m up and down in my moods, and sometimes I’m feeling down, exhausted, both, or sometimes I just feel inadequate in my writing and hate writing because I judge my abilities and suddenly don’t want to write. 

17. How many drafts is a paralyzing amount?

None? It’s more my mood and how far I get behind that’s paralyzing, but when I’m not feeling down or depressed, I’m in a normal mood or a great mood, I can write 30 threads in a single sitting and not miss a beat. I’m sure others can attest to how far I can turn around a reply when I’m on my game. (probably annoyingly).

18. Is there anything character-wise or writing style-wise that you can’t stand?

It’s probably Godmodding, it takes away from the fun of writing WITH people if you’re trying to control their actions.

19. What kind of anonymous questions are your favorite?

Things that make me think about my character, or have my character think. Things that make me really develop my character’s mind.

20. What is your weakest point in writing? Angst, fluff, dialogue, etc.?

I love dialogue in film, so maybe it’s a bit ironic that writing dialogue can easily be an achilles heel for me. It’s hard for me to write fluff or small talk, because I’ve personally never been very good at small talk, and focusing that in my writing is difficult. Fluff is kind of the same way, because it’s all romantic and cheesy and really? I feel a bit embarrassed when writing it. Though that’s more or less for some characters more than others. Murad I can get a bit more fluffy and small talky because I can be outwardly weird with him, where as Liam... his quiet reserve and demeanor make those difficult.

[kyluxtrashpit]

TROS Review

Okay here is my extremely long (almost 4k words >.>) review of tros. And that’s without the 2k meta on redemption arcs I also have filed away lmao. First off: I am not leaving the kylux fandom. It’s not a good enough movie to warrant that. Second: I might make a post of things I wished we’d gotten later, but this is already WAY too long lmao. Warnings for spoilers, opinions, and general negativity

EXPLICIT RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT

So. I have watched the thing. I went in knowing the spoilers and oh boy, am I glad I did. Still, overall this movie was… not great lmao. It’s messy and the pacing is off and there are some very weird and straight up Bad moments, but I’m not actually upset about it anymore. It’s more like ‘there’s a lot to unpack here’ except we’re not going to unpack it or even throw away the whole thing, it’s just gonna become that one box that’s still packed and untouched from when you moved 3 years ago. It’s there, but you rarely think about it beyond the occasional ‘maybe I should finally unpack that? Nah, too much effort’

I see a lot of people writing fix it fic and that’s totally valid but tbh… I don’t think it’s worth the effort for me. I think I’m just going to pretend it never happened and write my kylux the way I always have. Maybe I’ll do something with tros at some point, maybe some mean!Hux + redeemed!Ben because I’m awful lmao but for now, it hasn’t changed my plans at all. Which is actually a good thing tbh

Anyway. I’ll start with the good simply because there’s less of it lmao. Best thing about the movie? Everyone in it is looking like a fucking snack. It’s great. These people have always been hot, but this movie really nailed that. Also the trio stuff was fun and felt genuine. I LOVED the hints that Finn is Force sensitive, and I liked him in this movie even though I wish he got more story/time. I enjoyed Rey at the beginning, but her actions and plotline made less and less sense as the movie went on. Kylo was fun; I had gotten worried after that interview that said he’s calm now but he wasn’t lmao, like at all, so that was good. Also I didn’t like how Hux died but I’m endlessly grateful Kylo wasn’t the one to kill him. That might’ve actually ruined the ship for me

The visuals were excellent (save that strobing near the beginning; I’m not epileptic, but I had to close my eyes because it was too much). Some of the jokes hit will, as did some of the emotional bits (Chewie’s “death” was very well-executed and Rey’s scream broke my heart). Weirdly enough, C-3PO is kind of the heart of the movie, which I did not expect at all. Lando’s appearances were too brief but good. I also loved D-O a lot and he’s very cute. I liked seeing a bunch of new planets and environments, however briefly. The acting was also really great throughout on most accounts. I really enjoyed 2 of the Hux scenes (when he’s sitting in that board meeting making a face like he’s mentally eviscerating everyone in the room and when he gets so excited to finally get to blow something up and then Kylo shuts him up with the Force BUT WITHOUT HARMING HIM!!!)

That’s kind of it tbh. The movie overall is really messy. I’ve seen people say it feels like a fever dream and it really does. I’ve seen descriptions of people dreaming the plot of tros and they’re less weird. The pacing in the first chunk is way too fast and there’s way too much to take in. Then things get weird in the middle. Then, well, that ending. It feels like it’s trying too hard to be liked. It’s ‘joke’, ‘reference to past movie’, ‘joke’, ‘reference to past movie’, ‘mention of hope without showing it’, etc. etc. on and on throughout it. Some of those are fun, but it got tiring very quickly. And it made it impossible for me to suspend disbelief long enough to actually get into it

I also saw a lot of reviews saying if you didn’t like tlj, you would like this one. That was not correct. I disliked this for many of same reasons I disliked tlj, but it also managed to hold tfa’s weaknesses as well. Honestly, tros feels like the worst aspects of tlj mixed with the worst aspects of tfa, mixed with way too much nostalgia and then blended up with a good heaping of mania and desperation to keep it going. It tried so hard, wanted to be liked so badly, and you can feel that watching it. It doesn’t feel genuine

It also feels like every single movie in the ST was actually from a different trilogy. None of the 3 connect to each other. You can’t say tros is a successor to tlj or tfa; it’s totally on a different path, which I’m honestly not sure how they managed that. As much as I felt tlj wasn’t a true continuation of tfa, tros feels like its own trilogy mashed into one movie. There wasn’t one consistent plot or character thread to follow between all 3 movies

I think bringing palpatine back was the first fundamental mistake. It didn’t fit. And after creating Kylo and Snoke to be very specifically Not Sith, why bring the Sith back all of a sudden? Palpatine has had his day and he didn’t need this. No one did. Much as he was creepy as hell and that was well done, it didn’t feel right to have him there. Also, I really don’t like the implication he procreated at any point skdfjskldjk

As for Rey… I know I’m in the minority here, but I never found here to be a good narrative foil for Kylo. The connection between the two doesn’t really interest me at all (and this was one of the reasons I didn’t like tlj). It worked better if they were related, which was the biggest reason I was a proponent of Rey Skywalker, but that didn’t happen. The commonalities they have are just: 1) can use the Force, 2) have been lonely. The contrasts are: 1) light vs dark (sort of; this is less explicit in tfa and I miss that greyer view of the Force) and 2) had a family vs didn’t. And that’s pretty much it. In order for 2 characters to contrast and hit the ‘complimentary opposites’ sweet spot, you need much, much more than that. Finn has and always will be a better foil for Kylo and it’s a damn shame they abandoned that in tlj and even more so in tros. I have more thoughts on her that I’ll get to later too

I did like Rey in the beginning, but the longer it went on, the less I could rationalize her actions. Why is she doing that? Why is she trying to ditch her friends all the time? Why does she heal the cave snake? Why does she stab Kylo when he’s just become a non-combatant? Why does she heal him after? Why is she trying to reach out to the spirits of past jedi? Why did she Do That after she wakes up in the end? Why did she then seem to not even care that Kylo died right after? None of this is explained. Show, don’t tell, is great, but you can’t just make massive leaps like that. I didn’t get it. None of this felt like the character I’ve gotten to know over the last few years, nor did it feel consistent within the movie itself

That said, I want to discount one complaint I’ve seen: I got no impression she’s exiling herself on Tatooine at the end. It’s very clear she’s just doing a quick funeral ritual for Luke and Leia. The Falcon is still there, ready for when she’s done. I don’t get where the ‘she’s all alone in the desert again forever and ever’ comes from because it’s clear she’s not. It’s just a private ceremony (plus obvious fanservice). That’s it

For Finn: I liked that his character got to be a lot cooler here. I’m sad that he didn’t get half the attention and plot he deserved, but at least he wasn’t treated as a joke and a coward. My tlj complaint for Finn was that he went through the exact same arc he did in tfa over again; here, he doesn’t. He’s clearly grown into himself. That I liked. But damn, he was supposed to be a main character and he really got sidelined hard. It’s also very clear finnrey was planned at some point but didn’t end up in the final cut. The tease with that felt cruel tbh. He deserved to get to tell Rey he loved her on screen

And Poe: Poe was okay in this one. He felt to me like a different character in tfa and tlj, but this one managed to mesh the two characterizations well. He’s a bit of a hothead who doesn’t think (tlj), but he also really cares about people and is trying his best to lead (tfa). That was very successfully done. However. Poe is the one character with the most backstory. He’s got novels, comics, all of it. Where in the fuck is this history of being a spice runner in all that??? Sketchy as hell to make your one Latino character being a drug runner but you know. It also felt like a HUGE retcon of the one character that actually has fully revealed backstory. Also his thing with Zori was just weird and forced and exhaustingly heterosexual. Completely pointless tbh

As I was rereading this, I realized I forgot Rose but really, that’s because she does pretty much nothing. She has very few lines, never comes along. It’s like they forgot she was there. Or just didn’t care. It was really sad and a huge disrespect to everything KMT has gone through. Both her and her character deserved more

For Hux: I liked the 2 scenes I mentioned above, but other than that I was disappointed. I said this on twitter already, but the biggest crime they committed was getting rid of his fanaticism. Tlj may have turned him into a joke, but at least he was still a zealot. Here, it’s clear he gave up his last fuck like a year ago. It’s 9 am and he’s had 6 glasses of wine because he’s lost the will to live and it’s all pointless. Might as well fuck around and give the Resistance info that might lead to the end of everything he’s worked for his entire life because nothing matters and at least Kylo will lose. That’s dumb and violently ooc. I get him being a traitor to Kylo, I am DOWN for that, but not to the FO. He cares about the FO. He is fanatically devoted to the FO. That was ridiculous and wildly out of character. Also the FO is just gone in favour of Palpatine’s fleet as soon as Hux dies? What happened to them? Are they still out there? Who even knows? WHAT A FUCKING WASTE

Also Pryde? Fuck that guy and fuck JJ/LF/Disney for thinking it’s okay to have an old imperial kill Hux. Especially since the visual dictionary today confirmed Pryde knew Brendol and our Hux had known him for years. The possible implications are gross as fuck. If anyone was going to kill Hux one on one, it should have been Finn (with a wonderful stormtrooper rebellion arc involved) for the sake of both characters. I’m personally going to choose to believe Hux was wearing a blaster proof vest (thank you, Delilah Dawson, for putting those into Black Spire as canon) and faked his death. He’s living in blissful exile with Millie now or rebuilding the actual FO and ready to take over as the Emperor he deserves to be

Oh and Leia’s scenes did feel weird. I appreciate them trying to incorporate her, but it didn’t quite work. I feel like having her be offscreen yet present would’ve worked better than most of what they used. Some worked better than others though. I also have some Thoughts about her death but I’m about to get into the second half of the movie stuff and I’ll cover that there

Now Kylo. My darling, sweet, disaster boy. So. Okay. I knew no matter what happened his end would be controversial. And I have a lot of feelings on redemption arcs that can be distilled into one thing: if they’re written well, I like them, no matter how much bad the character has done; however, they are almost never written well enough. One of the first things I said coming out of tfa back in 2015 is ‘that’s going to be a disappointing redemption arc in a few years’. It was never about what ending I wanted (I actually favour something more grey than simply ‘oh he’s good now’ or ‘dies evil’, but that was way too ambitious for them to attempt so I never bothered to hope for it), because I knew it was coming. So this didn’t really bother me beyond the fact that it was too sudden. I do blame that partially on tlj, because it took Kylo from conflicted and torn apart to ‘yeah, I’m in charge now’, but I still think this was not the way to do it. Anyway. I have a 2k word rant somewhere about redemption arcs and when they work and when they don’t that I never posted and this is the much, much shorter version of that

Also. Okay. One more thing on this. So I usually don’t like redemption arcs because they’re written badly, but my least favourite redemption arcs are those that end in death. The only one I can think of that actually worked was Vader’s, but it doesn’t work as well with Kylo. Why? Because redemption is about making amends, not being punished. It’s about choosing to stop doing bad shit and instead to do good things to make up for what you’ve done. In self-sacrifice, not only does it send the message that the only path to redemption is death, but also it means you do literally one thing and then die. That’s it. One good deed, die, you’re done. That’s too fucking easy. True redemption is waking up every single day, for the rest of your life, and continuing to choose to do good. You know that evil is easier, feels better; you’ve done it. But you’re making the choice to keep doing good and to make amends instead. And you do that for years. Decades, even. That is SO MUCH harder to do than just one good thing and then immediately dying without showing if that change is lasting or not. That is how redemption is achieved: in making that choice not once, but again and again and again. So yeah. I didn’t like that. Death redemptions aren’t convincing to me because one choice is easy; consistently making that choice over the rest of your life is much, much harder

End of point: if they were going to redeem Kylo, he needed to live and work to make up for his past mistakes in order to make it impactful. It’s a damn shame he didn’t

Also: having Leia die for the sake of a man, son or not? FUCK THAT. And, even worse, if we follow the movie’s logic: Leia died trying to reach and save her son. Which lead to… him dying anyway?! Which means Leia’s death is meaningless and she died for literally nothing. Fuck that. FUCK THAT. What the fuck. That’s bullshit

Again on the redemption: Kylo just… kills his good friends the KOR without a shred of hesitation? Also the KOR literally never speak? And Kylo says literally one word (‘ow’) after the redemption? I admit, it was fun watching him fight and also watching him get hurt. If I ignore the context of it, watching him crawl out of the pit, scrabbling on the ground, so hurt he can’t even stand up? Fuck. That was good shit tbh. Also those big, desperate puppy eyes. They’re even worse with him as Ben instead of Kylo. Bravo to Adam for playing such a convincing sad boy. I hate that his scar got healed though; I liked it

Now. The whole ending and the plot stuff. Rey being a palpatine is… okay. Fine. I don’t like it but whatever. Seems like an unnecessary excuse to bring him back. Also Luke and Leia knowing? How? Luke knew Rey for literally 1 day. And how would Leia know? And why not tell Rey, who was so desperate for answers to her past when they thought Palpatine was dead? It makes no sense. It’s just very unnecessary. Not to mention the line “you’re a palpatine” is not a thing any real human being would ever say, jfc that was clumsy and unrealistic dialogue. I don’t mind Rey going a bit dark for some time, but this was not the way to do it. Also I was really hoping for a resolution beyond ‘dark siders dead, light sider alive’ because the dichotomous nature of the Force MAKES NO SENSE. Balance is needed. Leaving the only Force user alive a light sider means something dark will come again for the sake of it – Rey should’ve gone grey and tbh tfa made me hope this trilogy would end with all surviving Force users grey. So that was disappointing

Now. The kiss. Straight up: I do not ship it. I don’t mind if other people do, but I do get touchy when they go out of their way to prove there’s nothing inherently problematic about it. I ship kylux; it’s problematic as hell. That’s a good part of why I like it. So I’m fine with r*ylo shippers as long as they do the same. Problem is: most don’t and go around insisting it’s actually the highest romance possible while leaning on incredibly misogynistic and racist tropes to prop up that argument rather than accept their ship has some questionable parts to it (like kyluxers do). It’s more a problem with the fandom for me than it is the ship in theory. Still, I don’t like it and that’s what matters for this

The fact of the matter is it felt extremely sudden and out of place. The entire first half of the movie is Kylo being an aggressive, creepy asshole to Rey. I can theoretically entertain the idea of Kylo having feelings for her (though I don’t), but I cannot see the other way around, not when Rey has so many kind, wonderful people around her. Which is why this feels so weird. There was not enough build to it. I saw a cam clip off reddit before I went in, so I had accepted it was happening but I expected a lot more lead up to it to make it not seem so sudden. None of that was there. There was no build up or reaching of understanding so it reads exactly like those versions of it I dislike: there is nothing wrong with a man berating you and insulting you and attacking you and you should love him for it. That is not enemies to lovers. That’s just abusive bullshit

And then the death. Both of them. Rey dies from… what exactly? It’s never shown at all. And same with Kylo. The leaks said it was Force exhaustion, which a) why? And b) that’s not clear in the damn movie. You need to explain things!!!! And also that means Leia, Luke, Kylo, and Rey all died (even if one didn’t stick) from using the Force too hard. Meanwhile Darth Maul survives getting cut in half and Palpatine survives falling down a shaft in a space station that explodes 2 minutes later (and, you know, all the wacky Force shit he did in this movie too). The fuck? It’s dumb. I hate it

Also the dyad thing was weird. I know the early leaks had it more explained, then the leaks said they cut it, but now it looks like they left in 3 lines of dialogue with it and cut the rest. Again, explanations people! This is not a thing in previous canon! Maybe in the EU, but that’s not canon anymore! The fuck!!!! The idea is dumb and forced to begin with, but the execution made it worse

And now for the final, largest criticism I have. A confession: I am not a star wars fan by nature. I’ve always liked them, but I preferred other sci-fi more. I’m more of an invasive species who forcibly carved my way into this fandom ecological niche because I really loved Kylo lmao. But if there is one thing star wars is defined by, I don’t think it’s love or family or any of those common themes people say. It’s hope. That’s the thing star wars does well. Even when things are darkest, it keeps the hope alive and it makes you feel that. Good will triumph. There is reason to believe in heroes, even when they stumble

This movie is not hopeful. Rogue One, a masterful tragedy, still manages a message of hope despite every single lead character dying. This one doesn’t. And tbh, I think tlj missed on this a bit too (a lot of talk about having hope, not a lot of showing us reasons to be hopeful), but it was still there. Tros does not feel hopeful. The Skywalkers are all dead. Rey has decided to download the legacy (why? No idea! The whole message was ‘don’t be afraid of who you are’ and she just then decided to become someone else? Makes no sense!!!). Anakin’s sacrifice meant nothing because Palpatine came back (and it is CRIMINAL we never got an Anakin and Kylo scene). Han and Leia’s and even Luke’s (a bit) deaths meant nothing because yeah, Kylo turned back in the end, but then he died anyway. They all gave their lives to save him and it was all for nothing. He’s still dead. Palpatine is gone and so is his fleet, but what about the FO fleet? Are they still out there? Are there brainwashed stormtroopers still trapped in its clutches (also, they were so close with Jannah and Finn to adding depth here, but nope, the stormtroopers are still cannon fodder in every fight scene even though they’re literally slaves!!!!)? Who knows!

This movie only feels conclusive in that so many characters we love are dead. That’s it. There’s more questions than answers and so much left unresolved. There’s no sense of hope in it. There’s barely a sense of victory. It’s not satisfying. Even the celebration at the end feels weird and like it’s trying to force you to be happy. The jedistormpilot hug was good, but the lesbian kiss was such a cheap attempt at trying to appease people calling for representation. The moment with Lando and Jannah at the end was probably the most hopeful part of the movie and neither of them are lead characters

Idk. I know this is pretty negative. But I didn’t really enjoy this movie. Some parts were fun, or funny, or exciting, or emotional. But overall? No. This was not a satisfying conclusion for any of these characters, either the new or the old. They missed. Hard. Not one character was truly done justice. And it’s disappointing. But it’s over now and I have no intentions of letting it dictate my fandom activities. I’m just going to pretend it didn’t happen and call it a day