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lonely-cowboy · 9 months

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chasing rainbows

pairing: connor (rk800) x f!reader

summary: you recently learned that connor has only ever seen the world in one color. gutted at the thought of such a colorless world, you decide to help him see the beauty of the world. only he doesn't care about the world. he only cares about you.

word count: 3.6k

warnings: nothing major, but lowkey a mess bc this is my first longer-ish fic, reader is really embracing her y/n moment, connor is so ooc it's kinda insane but i love him so whatever, they're both really confused about their feelings until they're suddenly not

author's note: i'm replaying dbh as one does bc i was sad and missed connor AND I'M LITERALLY FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE THIS PLAYTHROUGH?? my first playthrough was so nice and sweet and silly so now i'm trying to get other endings BUT I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR ALL THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE?? anyway, my solution (as always) was to write happy connor and some grumpy hank yay! yes i did spend the first 1k words talking about literal colors, ignore that

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Work was never the place to do work. That was something you learned from Hank after working under him for years.

Sitting at your desk that was situated across from Hank and Connor, you decided to ignore your terminal and the case report it displayed. You’d get to it eventually. Eventually. Besides, you were confident that you would be able to finish it relatively quickly.

Instead, you were tiredly flipping through a book of color swatches. Your gaze flitted across endless pages, darting from color to color as you searched for something eye-catching. In your recent efforts to make your apartment feel more homely, you decided it was time to add an accent wall, you just needed the right color. Obviously, the precinct was the best place to be color searching.

By the time you reached the end of the swatch booklet, you had only found two colors that interested you. At least then it would be easier to make a decision. You eyed the olive and plum swatches like you would a homicide suspect, trying your best to picture them in your apartment. You pursed your lips in thought, staring at the colors for so long that you could’ve sworn you were going cross-eyed.

“Detective?” Connor called, your eyes snapping to meet his. “Are you alright?”

“Actually, no, I’m not,” you answered with an exaggerated sigh, trying to sound as hopeless as possible. “I’m having quite the dilemma.”

“Is there anything I can help you with?” he asked.

The sincerity in his voice made your heart melt. He always showed such care for you. Sometimes you wondered if it was just another part of his social programming, but somehow, you knew it wasn’t. Connor genuinely did care about you, even when it was just your inability to pick a paint color. You almost felt bad for teasing him. Almost.

“I just can’t for the life of me decide on a paint color,” you said, glancing up at him with that shit-eating grin he was unfortunate to know so well.

Connor’s pleasant smile collapsed into a disappointed frown once he realized he had succumbed to your teasing.

“Saw that coming from a mile away,” Hank grumbled.

“You can help too, Lieutenant!” you said in an excessively cheerful tone, just to annoy Hank. “It’s not like you’re doing anything important.”

“Yeah, well, fuck you, kid” Hank sighed, turning his chair to face you fully. Work was never the place to do work.

With both Connor and Hank focused on you, you slid the two color swatches across your desk. Hank leaned forward with mild interest, nodding his head to himself as he considered both choices. Connor mimicked Hank, leaning forward and furrowing his brows at the sight of the swatches.

After a long moment of deliberation, Hank finally said, “Green.”

You nodded in approval as Connor looked at Hank with what could only be described as pure confusion. He then turned back to the colors before looking at you with an unsettled expression.

“I don’t understand,” Connor murmured. “These colors are the same.”

You and Hank stared at Connor in bewilderment. Maybe you could understand it if the colors were different shades of the same color and androids just had a poor sense of color differentiation. But these swatches weren’t even remotely close in color. There was nothing similar about them at all.

You and Hank exchanged a look of confusion. Maybe this was Connor’s attempt at a joke. No, he had made jokes before, and they were genuinely funny. Especially the ones that poked fun at Hank.

“Connor,” you started. “What do you mean?”

“They’re the same,” Connor repeated with a shrug, looking between you and Hank like he didn’t understand what he was missing. And he obviously didn’t understand.

“One is olive, one is plum,” you said.

“Green and purple,” Hank offered rather unhelpfully.

Connor only shrugged again, still unable to differentiate the two.

“Does anything look different than normal?” you questioned.

“No,” Connor replied simply.

Was it possible for androids to be colorblind? The idea baffled you. The only way Connor could be colorblind was if he was programmed to be that way. Why would he be programmed to not see color?

“Can you… I don’t know… describe what things look like to you?” you asked unsurely. Was that too abstract of a thought for an android? It was already too abstract for you. “Does everything look the same color?”

Connor considered your question, eyes narrowed as he glanced around the precinct. Hank looked at you like you were crazy for wanting to get to the root of this. Maybe you were.

“I… I suppose it all appears relatively similar,” Connor said with equal uncertainty.

You frowned at that. The world must have seemed so… well, sad to Connor. You hated the thought of his world being limited to a single color. He deserved to see the world for what it really was. He deserved so much… If you could at least give him this one thing, you would be satisfied.

“Do you want to change that?” you proposed.

“I admit, I would be curious,” Connor replied.

Immediately, you jumped up from your desk chair and started putting your coat on. Connor took that as a sign to do the same, rising from his chair to stand beside you.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Hank interjected. “Where do you two think you’re going?”

“To help Connor, obviously,” you replied with a bratty eye roll.

“That has nothing to do with work, kid, sit down,” Hank retorted, preferring that the two of you stayed with him so that he didn’t have to suffer alone.

“This has everything to do with work,” you countered like the typical asshole Hank knew you as. “Don’t you realize all the ways this probably inhibits Connor’s work? I mean, picture a typical crime scene. There are probably so many details he’s missing because he can’t fucking see color!”

“Actually,” Connor remarked. “I speculate that my limited color sensory was included in an effort to keep me focused on my investigations and avoid any distractions–”

“Connor,” you intervened, turning to give him a stern look.

“Yes, Detective?”

“Shut up.”

Immediately, Connor sealed his lips shut and pressed them into a thin line. You adored it when he listened to you.

You turned your attention back to Hank, flashing that brilliant smile that told him you weren’t going to listen to a single fucking thing he said. He sighed grumpily at the sight of it, turning back to his desk with a shake of his head.

In the absence of any other objections, you grabbed Connor’s hand and led him out of the precinct. You wondered if he could see the vibrant blush that coated your cheeks at the intimate contact. You hoped not.

He did.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Are you sure about this?” you questioned hesitantly.

In the middle of your living room, you stood in front of Connor with his new occipital unit in hand. You held it gingerly as if the slightest touch would break it. Although it was a lot easier to purchase biocomponents than you had expected. If it were to break, you would only have to walk three or so blocks to buy a new one.

You looked at Connor worriedly while he stood patiently. You were far, far from any kind of engineer. You had absolutely zero experience when it came to replacing android biocomponents. No matter how many times Connor reassured you, you still stressed at the thought of making a mistake. He promised it was easy, but how could changing biocomponents be anywhere close to easy?

“You can do it, I promise,” Connor murmured encouragingly.

His hand came up to encircle your wrist, tugging your hand forward gently. Your cheeks heated at the contact, making you aware of just how close the two of you were. You glanced away bashfully as you were overwhelmed by butterflies. When you returned your attention to Connor, you watched in awe as the skin around his right eye peeled away, revealing the natural white plastic. Connor’s eyes flicked across your face nervously, worried that you might be disturbed. But to you, it was like seeing a new and vulnerable side to Connor, one that you very much enjoyed.

As you reached for his current occipital unit, you froze with your brows furrowed. Your apartment was far from an interesting sight. There wasn’t much to look at, your apartment still lacking a homely feeling. Damnit, you really needed that accent wall.

“Come on,” you said without explanation.

You moved to leave your apartment after gently placing the two new occipital units into your bag. Slugging it over your shoulder, you waited at the door for Connor to follow. Connor stared after you, the white plastic disappearing.

“Come on,” you repeated, gesturing for him to follow.

Connor followed without a second thought. God, it really was so endearing when he listened.

You led Connor out of your apartment building and across the street to the nearby park. You wandered aimlessly for what felt like hours, trying to find the most scenic view for Connor to enjoy as his first sight.

At last, you settled on a bench situated in front of a little pond. Tall, stooping trees crowded the pond with just enough space between their branches to see the bright sky above. You were glad to be enjoying this moment in the fall when the leaves were the perfect shades of orange.

You stood with your hands on your hips, eyeing the view with a skeptical glint. Connor would be able to see a good range of colors from here. This place would do just fine.

Pulling Connor along, you sat him down on the bench by lightly pressing on his shoulders. Once he was seated with his hands neatly placed along his thighs, you reached for the first occipital unit from your bag.

“Okay,” you said with a determined huff. “Much better view, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know, I can’t see it very well,” Connor replied cheekily.

You couldn’t help but smile at that, rolling your eyes at Connor’s teasing. This only meant he had been spending a concerning amount of time around you and Hank. When you looked back at him, you exhaled slowly, “Ready?”

Connor nodded once, revealing the white plastic of his right eye once again. Before pulling it out, you reached forward and pressed a soft hand overtop Connor’s eyes, silently reminding him to keep his eyes closed until you said otherwise. When you pulled your hand away, you were pleased to find that his eyes remained closed.

Your fingertips then pressed against the plastic of Connor’s occipital unit. It popped out easily, allowing you to pull it out slowly and with ease, just as Connor had promised. It was jarring to see him without an eye. Or rather without a whole chunk of his face. You worried you might still mess up, leaving him without half of his face.

But when you pressed the new occipital unit forward, you found that it was just as easy as pulling the old one out. It took a moment to adjust, but the new part quickly shifted to match Connor’s appearance, his freckled skin melting over it and the doe-like shape of his eyes returning. That made you sigh with relief. You just hoped they were still the same beautiful brown you found yourself constantly lost in.

You then did the same with his other eye, quietly applauding yourself for not making a single mistake.

With his occipital units in place, you rounded the bench to stand behind Connor whose eyes remained closed obediently. Standing behind him, you placed your hands over his eyes once again, a giddy smile adorning your lips.

“You ready?” you asked, unable to contain your excitement.

“I think so,” Connor said hesitantly.

“Yeah, you’re ready,” you decided.

Slowly, you pulled your hands away, studying Connor with a sweet smile. You expected him to enjoy the view in silence, looking at every single thing he possibly could. But you were surprised to find that he barely even regarded the view. Instead, he immediately turned to look at you from over his shoulder.

With a tentative hand, he reached out for your hand that rested on the bench’s back. He pulled you gently around the bench so that you stood in front of him. His hand still held your limp hand as he stood to face you. He looked down at you with a small but warm smile, eyes exploring every inch of your face.

The unexpected attention had your heart racing, a nervous heat spreading throughout your body. You clenched your jaw tightly, a jumble of confusing and unwanted emotions consuming your entirety. Not wanting to say anything stupid to ruin… whatever this moment was, you clamped your mouth shut. Your eyes couldn’t help but wander, exploring Connor’s features the same way he did yours.

Connor’s warm touch left your hand, making you frown ever so slightly. But you were immediately comforted as he placed both hands on your cheeks. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles along your cheekbones like they had a mind of their own, relaxing your clenched jaw. His eyes locked with yours, never once blinking in fear that he would miss something if he did.

You practically forgot how to speak. You forgot how to do everything. It was a hassle to recall how you were even supposed to breathe. The only thing you could do was stare at Connor with a dreamy glimmer in your eyes.

“Your eyes are really pretty,” Connor mumbled.

You swallowed timidly before speaking, “Thank you.”

“You’re…” Connor began before his LED circled red.

Your gaze flickered to his LED, watching intently as it continued to flash red. That was a poor move on your part. Having broken the intense eye contact, Connor glanced away from you, looking straight ahead and dropping his hands from your cheeks like he suddenly awoke from a trance. Focused on the horizon, Connor’s LED spiraled yellow several times before returning to its typical blue.

His sudden change in attitude only added to your confusion of emotions. You took a pained step back, eyes falling to the ground.

“I didn’t expect the leaves to be this color,” Connor commented casually.

You cleared your throat and turned your back to Connor to focus on the leaves. You didn’t want him to see your embarrassed flush, though you were sure he already did.

“They’re not always this color,” you muttered. “Only in the fall. In the warmer months, they’re green.”

You caught a glimpse of Connor tilting his head, his nose scrunched with intrigue. He tried to visualize what that would look like, but having only seen one color since his creation, he didn’t seem to understand.

“Green like… like the grass,” you clarified, pointing to an open patch of grass.

“I’d like to see that. Perhaps you can bring me back here in the spring,” Connor hummed. When you didn’t say anything, he continued. “Are there other colors to see?”

“So many more,” you answered, flashing Connor a small (and slightly awkward) smile.

Connor trailed along beside you as you strolled through the park. Still too embarrassed to look at him, you also took the opportunity to admire the beauty of the park’s striking colors. You were ignorant to the way Connor watched you contently out of the corner of his eye. Of all the wonderfully colorful sights, you were by far his favorite. You were the only thing he could look at.

“Which one is your favorite?” Connor asked as you slowed your walk, having walked the entirety of the park. “Color, I mean.”

You stopped to consider his question, looking around at the abundance of colors. They were all so beautiful in their own ways that it was difficult to choose. But then your eyes landed on Connor, and it seemed so clear.

“Blue,” you replied definitively.

You felt foolish for your choice, but you couldn’t help that there was some truth to it. Blue had always been a pleasant color, but after knowing Connor, it took on a different meaning. When Connor’s LED was blue, it indicated he was happy. Or at least satisfied. You liked to see him when he was happy. It eased your mind knowing he was content. Because of him, it was now a color you associated with joy.

Though you didn’t say anything, you looked away flustered, wondering if Connor could somehow read your mind. You wouldn’t be at all surprised if he could.

“Do you have a favorite?” you inquired quickly.

Connor pursed his lips, mimicking you as he looked around the park. His head then snapped down to look at you, eyes immediately finding yours. He cocked his head curiously the way he always did. The way that made you so weak you could barely stand.

“What color are your eyes?” Connor wondered.

Your eyes widened, eyebrows arched as if you had misheard him. But you knew you hadn’t.

The way he spoke so nonchalantly drove you insane. How could he be so casual about something like this? Did he know what he was doing to you? Was he doing it on purpose? What did any of this mean? Was there any chance at all that he could care for you the same way you did him?

“Uh…,” you mumbled, stuttering out your eye color.

Connor nodded thoughtfully at your answer, his charming eyes still latched onto yours.

“Then that’s what I would say,” said Connor. “Your eyes are my favorite.”

“Oh,” you said dumbly, clueless as to how on earth you were supposed to respond to that.

The corners of Connor’s lips quirked into an affectionate smile. He arched his brows at you like he expected something more than just oh.

Your mind was racing for anything to say. Were you just supposed to ignore Connor’s loving words that felt far too much like a subtle confession? Were you supposed to confront it head-on? Neither of those options sounded good.

“Thanks,” you whispered. “I like them too.”

As you cursed yourself endlessly for saying the stupidest fucking thing to come to mind, Connor’s grin widened. A quiet laugh escaped his lips, one that you didn’t hear through the blaring alarms screaming “why are you such an idiot?” in your head.

“That was stupid,” you groaned, deciding it was better to admit it than ignore it. “But… thank you. You… you have pretty eyes too.”

“Thank you, Detective,” Connor said cheerfully.

You moved to continue walking with Connor close at your side. Maybe you were crazy (there was always a good chance of that), but you could’ve sworn he was standing considerably closer than before. Your arm swung at your side, his arm brushing against yours in the slightest. It didn’t matter how insignificant that touch was, it meant something to you. Maybe it meant something to Connor too.

You had been walking in complete silence until Connor spoke, his words making you trip and fumble and scream and cry and scream and die a little.

“You’re pretty to look at. All of you, not just your eyes,” he said, shooting you an adorably attractive wink for emphasis.

You stopped dead in your tracks, Connor trailing ahead until he noticed you were no longer beside him. You stared at him with a far too serious expression, one that made him doubt his words. How could he be so casual about something so serious? Did he actually feel this way, or was it all a heartless prank?

“Your words are really fucking with me, Connor, you know that?” you said.

“I know,” Connor nodded with a cocky edge. God, he really was spending way too much time with you and Hank to be this snarky.. “Your heart has been racing the entire time we’ve been together.”

“So you’re purposefully torturing me?”

“I wouldn’t consider this torture. But, yes. I suppose I’ve been… holding this over you.”

“Well, stop that!”

Connor flashed you a cheeky grin as he approached you again. His hands moved to cup your reddened cheeks, warming them with his soft touch.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t do this to you,” Connor said fondly. “Not when you’ve shown me how beautiful the world is… How beautiful you are.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled, trying to hide the smile that crept along your lips.

“You’ve told me before that I’m terrible at shutting up, I don’t see why I should start now.”

You and Connor wore matching smirks as you tried to best the other, subconsciously moving closer to each other.

“Oh, so you don’t want to shut up and kiss me?” you parried.

“When did those words ever leave my mouth?”

“When did you get so cocky?”

“When I realized I could have you.”

You had nothing to say after that. No witty remark or snide comment. All you could offer was a gentle smile.

Connor leaned forward, his nose brushing against yours. He was so close that you could feel his breath– so real for an android– against your lips.

“Pretty smile too,” he murmured, his lips grazing yours.

“It’d look even prettier if you actually kissed me,” you whispered.

Connor knew he couldn’t win this battle of wits. He honorably accepted his loss, knowing it was the only way to kiss you. You beamed into his kiss, proud of yourself for being so stubborn. That was quickly lost on you when you felt the softness of Connor’s lips. You indulged in his touch, leaning forward against his chest to feel as much of him as possible.

Connor pulled away sooner than you would have liked, resting his forehead against yours. A breath of a laugh escaped his lips when he saw that desperate glint in your eyes. He pulled back to look you in the eye after pressing a loving kiss to your forehead. His thumb brushed under your eye, lost in the color he loved so dearly.

“You’ll always be my favorite sight.”

#detroit become human #connor x reader #dbh connor x reader #rk800 x reader #dbh connor #connor rk800

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nakachuchu · 1 year

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Protector | Gojo Satoru

SYNOPSIS: Your life was far more important than Gojo Satoru’s life, but no one understood why.

READER: female

WORDS: 1.9k

WRITTEN: 07/24/2023

NOTE: I never read gojo's arc bc I hate flashbacks so things aren't the same. I cranked this out on a whim.

EVENT: part of the Sly Fox Collab

Before the Satoru bloodline, there was the L/N bloodline. The very blood throbbing within the layers of your skin and flesh stood above all other bloodlines.

Despite not being as gifted as Gojo Satoru, you were still above him. Your very existence — your very breath — meant that the Jujutsu world was still standing.

If the beacon of light was struck down, there would be no saving others.

Your clan built the Jujutsu world and it was your great ancestor who closed off a portal that allowed demons — not only Curses — to roam free in Japan, destroying everything in their paths.

Gojo Satoru was your bodyguard — your protector since birth. Despite being born before him, he was still the person who was supposed to put your life above his.

However, as the first to hold both the Six Eyes and Limitless, he was an anomaly all on his own. His clan didn't like the idea of him having to sacrifice himself to protect you, should the time come for it.

So, his parents taught him one thing when it came to you: "Her life means nothing compared to yours."

Wherever you went, Gojo was supposed to go.

Gojo Satoru hated you. He despised your very existence. You were the reason he was on a tighter leash. He was already being watched since birth, but now he was being watched more heavily and had to watch out for others.

Gojo attending the Tokyo Jujutsu Tech School was only for him to learn responsibility and how to hone his abilities.

It was a struggle to allow him to attend, but a simple "Yes" from you allowed him to attend. You were his master and he was your dog.

Because of your approval for him to attend, you attended as well. There was no better protector than Gojo, so you had to stick with him.

Your clan didn't want you to leave the confines of their estate, but they had no choice.

You were the one who held the seed of life within your very soul. Your death would unleash unimaginable death into the world, causing destruction to the very earth itself.

Only high members of your clan could know the true power you held. You may not have been as strong on the outside as Gojo Satoru or Geto Suguru, but you held your own power.

Despite Gojo being your bodyguard, you were the one who followed him everywhere. You never spoke to anyone unless spoken to, and so you became his shadow.

He had no shame in voicing his opinions on the annoying shadow trailing after him day after day, but you had never reprimanded him or told anyone how he treated you.

It made no difference to you. As long as he kept you alive, you didn't care. Your clan members only listened to you because of the power of life you held.

You knew that if you were just another woman, they wouldn't listen to you.

You currently sat on a table, swinging your feet back and forth as you watched Gojo and his classmates bicker.

You envied him. You wanted to have friends as well. You wanted to go out after school to grab ice cream and gossip about crushes.

You let out a soft sigh and fell back onto the table, laying on it peacefully as you looked up at the blue sky.

"Are you alive?" Gojo questioned.

You turned slightly to look at him.

"Oh," he said, disappointed. "Good, I guess."

You turned to look back at the sky.

He stared at you for a moment before shrugging and going back to his friends.

The school day continued until it was time for Gojo to drop you off at home. He lingered around campus as usual, enjoying the idea of you having to wait on him because you couldn't walk home alone.

He was feeling quite smug about it — he felt smug every day — until a random dog entered the school grounds and bit him in the ass.

"OW WHAT THE FUCK — "

Geto and Ieiri burst out laughing, unable to contain their laughter. However, you were also unable to contain your laughter. You let out a snort before covering your mouth with your fist and clearing your throat.

Almost immediately, Gojo rounded on you after swatting the dog away.

"Did you just laugh?"

"No."

"You did. You just laughed at me."

"Not at you. At the situation," you responded.

He narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Come on."

He grabbed your sleeve and dragged you away, pulling you like an owner would pull their dog.

Gojo had never seen you laugh before. Who knew it would take his pain for you to laugh?

Since that day, he was always trying to make you laugh. He wanted to see what kind of person you really were. He wanted to know if deep inside you were just like him.

You were put in an unimaginable position, just like him. What were you thinking on the inside? Did you really like the life you were born into? Did you wish you were human instead? Ignorant of the Curses and death around you?

Geto and Ieiri exchanged glances at the scene in front of them: you and Gojo were laughing together.

A month shortly after the dog incident, you and Gojo had been more open around each other. He was more comfortable with your presence and didn't think of you as his shadow much.

You were more like an extension of him, always going places together. He even started walking you home right after his classes so that you would have enough time to stop by a place to eat sweets.

Today, the four of you would be going to a cafe together for the first time. It was your first real-time spending time with Gojo's friends. You usually left him alone when he was at school since you didn't want to bother him.

His life was much more difficult because of you and you felt responsible for the heavy chains wrapped around his neck.

You and Gojo walked side by side while Geto and Ieiri walked side by side in the front. The two would casually turn around to talk to you when the chance arose.

The atmosphere was fun and relaxing. It was your first time having a small group to spend time with, but of course, the happiness wouldn't last.

Before Gojo could even comprehend what had happened, your body was already on the floor and a warm splatter had formed on his cheek.

He didn't even notice Geto shaking his shoulders or Ieiri shaking while holding your body in her arms.

The bullet went straight into your head.

"Where?" he whispered. "WHERE?" he shouted, pushing Geto off him and frantically looking around for the culprit.

Gojo ran off to look for your murderer, leaving Geto and Ieiri alone with you.

But, that was exactly what the group of culprits wanted. They were silent and invisible until the very end.

One masked man pulled Ieiri off you, while the other dragged your body toward him. Before Geto could attempt to do anything, a skilled assassin appeared before him.

Geto was forced to fight for his own life while watching the culprits get ready to take your body.

"Let me go!" Ieiri shouted as she kicked around with one of the culprits.

"GOJO!" Geto screamed, knowing his friend would hear him.

Gojo appeared a few feet away, cursing his inaccuracy under the stressful situation. He frantically looked between his two friends struggling and your limp body being thrown over an assassin's shoulder.

Before he could even take a step, your body jerked and the screams of the assassin you were draped over alerted the other culprits.

Your supposedly dead body had taken a chunk out of the assassin's neck. Your hands dug into his body, clawing at him through his clothes as you spat out the chunk of flesh.

The assassin dropped you onto the floor and he scrambled away from you in fright, holding his hand against his neck.

You dropped to the floor on your hands and knees. Your bones cracked as you slammed a hand onto the concrete.

You turned abruptly to look — blood in your eyes — at the assassins who were fighting Ieiri and Geto.

The three teenagers were frozen in fear. You looked rabid — like a zombie covered in blood.

You slammed your other hand down onto the concrete. Cracks formed in the concrete, shaking the earth as the assassins attempted to scramble away from it.

Despite having a bounty on your head, no one knew the true reason why you were so important. They just knew you were important enough to have Gojo Satoru protect you.

A large monstrous hand shot out from one crack, while shadow-like tentacles shot out from the other one. The assassins screamed in agony as they were pulled under by the demons.

The "seed of life" within you was the ability to control those in the underworld. That was why you were so important.

Your very existence was the barrier between the underworld and the real world.

With the assassins gone, the cracks closed and repaired themselves. It looked as if nothing had happened, except for the blood that stained you and Ieiri's clothes.

You slowly got up to your feet and wiped your face with the sleeve of your jacket. The bullet lodged in your head pushed itself out and the hole repaired itself.

The three teenagers were silent.

"I died once before," you said quietly.

A tear rolled down your cheek.

"I got hit by a car when I was seven. I was walking home from school. And when I died, I saw things. I went to where those things were and I was in so much pain. Everything hurt. Everywhere hurt."

The more you continued to talk, the more it turned into sobs. You couldn't control your tears. You tried to stop them by rubbing your eyes raw, but your sobs turned into cries as if a child was crying.

"And I — I came back an hour later in the arms of my mother. I couldn't stop shaking and screaming. I tried to kill everyone who got near me. I — I didn't know who — who I was or where — where I was — "

Gojo walked the distance between you two and hugged you, smothering your head in his chest.

You wailed like a baby, clutching his school uniform into your fists. You refused to let him go and he wouldn't dare to let you go.

"Go ahead," he said to his friends. "I'll see you later."

Ieiri and Geto glanced at each other and nodded before walking home together. Geto wrapped an arm around her shoulders in comfort.

"I — I don't know if I can die," you said, muffled. "But each time I do, it hurts so much. It scares me. I hate it. I hate what I see. I'm damned to eternal hell."

His hand cupped the back of your head, large and warm.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Apologies were hard for Gojo. He hated showing vulnerability and sincerity, but he couldn't imagine what you had been through.

"I should have been more careful," he said. "I'll take better care of you now."

Gojo Satoru now understood why you had to be protected. His parents were wrong. His life wasn't above yours. You were far more important than him, but they would never understand that.

He would protect you until the day he died.

#jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #slyfoxcollab #slyfox collab

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bravo4iscool · 9 months

Note

Levi Baby🖤

The way I adore you for pairing Simon with a Chubby girl. I bring a thot to you if you're interested:

Bodyguard!Simon Ghost Riley x chubby f!reader

- He's newly retired , gets asked for a favor from Price for a friend's kid

- Said kid is a mid 20's thicc woman who is all business since she's a lawyer in Human Rights and involved with the UN.

- He thinks she's going to be a snob based off looks bc girl loves to dress and she does it well, she observes Simon as he is. Brooding, Haunted and Self Assureed with a drizzle of dark humor but loyal.

- They get off on the wrong foot [Simon was being an irrational ass forgetting his manners and respect], reader isn't scared of him and doesn't take lightly to being disrespect3d for no apparent reason.

- They're holed up living together under the radar since the thr3at to reader was pretty big seeing it was world leaders

- They're going to have to learn to live with each other, where Simon barks orders - reader is anamused and calmly condescends. He can't even get annoyed bc she's antisocial and a houseplant but he's trying

- doesn't help that he's so.so attracted to her.

*make this as suggestive as you want (give ghost heart attacks with her choice of home clothes please. We know he's touch straved, emotionally constipated and needed a therap session.

Make her stress him out by confronting all of that in her short fiery demon way please.

I hope your new year is sweet Love💋

oh lord. oH LORD. how can you write this and not think about me fainting😭 THIS IS- URGH- AMAZING AHHHQGACQGQVQZQZAVQ!!!!

i hope i can do this justice😭 normally i try to imitate simon’s accent but bro… i was just too tired to do it now, so i hope you can forgive me for that🥲

KEEP HITING ME WITH STUFF LIKE THIS OH MY GOD😩

not really happy but i tried my best :) also not proof-read!

(masterlist)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

“There’s no but’s!” Simon argues while almost dragging you—his protégée—along the hallway inside the safe house. “You’re in danger and it’s my job to protect you!”

“I’ve been perfectly fine on my own before,” you argue, trying your best to wriggle away from his grip. You hated it when he manhandled like that.

He turns around, his eyes fiercely staring down at you and you feel like they’re piercing through your soul. “Have you ever had the Taliban threaten you, huh? Or fucking ISIS? I don’t think so; so stop whining and follow me!”

You want to argue with him, tell him he’s not allowed to talk to you that way but damn, you knew he was right. Ever since you started working for the UN you’ve been threatened—you were getting used to it—but only by small groups not someone like the Taliban.

“We’re gonna stay here until the threat is eliminated for not serious anymore.” His statement leaves little room to argue but you’re itching to say something anyway. It’s wasn’t your nature to just shut up. You were a lawyer, you were used to arguing.

You grimace as you force yourself to accept your fate. You didn’t want to but in the end you knew Simon was right. So, you follow him, an annoyed look on your face. You hated it when he was right.

“It’s only temporary,” he grumbles as he kicks a door open and pushes you inside. “It’s not like I want it, okay?”

You only roll your eyes, throwing a halfhearted ‘whatever’ at him and inspecting the room he hauled you into. “This is where I’m gonna stay?” you ask him, a slight hint of defeat in your voice.

“Pretty much, yes. I’ll be on the other side of the hallway,” he explains, leaning against the door frame. “In case anything happened, of course,” he immediately adds; just so you don’t get a…wrong picture of this whole thing here.

“We got wifi here?” is you next questions when you turn to look at him, your arms crossed in front of your chest.

“No wifi. No contact to the outer world,” is his answer and you feel your blood start to boil.

“You have to be kidding me! How am I supposed to work then?” You throw your hands in the air, letting out an angry huff. “You can’t just cut me off civilisation!”

He only shrugs. “I can and I will. Work can wait, alright? Your life is more important now.” Again his voice leaves no room to argue but this time you won’t take it. You put your hands on your hips, looking up at him.

“You think that’s how it works? Then, please Lieutenant Riley,” you spit out his rank “fly over to the dozens of war criminals and tell them to stop too! Oh wait-“ you act shocked. “That’s not how it fucking works! You can’t expect me to sit still and look pretty while the world drowns in injustice!”

“Would make things a lot easier tho,” he mumbles under his breath while pushing himself off the door frame. “Just…do something that doesn’t require wifi or anything like that, alright?” Before you can even think of an answer he leaves, shutting the door behind him. Why the hell was he treating like some little child?

“How old is she?” Simon wants to know as he hands his old Captain the picture of you back. He’s sat on a chair, his legs spread, one arm resting on the back rest.

“Mid 20s,” Price answers, placing his folded hands onto the table. “She needs security and her father’s not really…trusting the usual companies; and since you’re nearly retired I thought you could use the job.” Simon holds Price’s gaze and nods along. “He trusts me, therefore he trusts you. She’s a lawyer, heavily associated and involved with the UN and human rights.”

“What are the details?” Simon slightly tilts his head, curiously raising his eyebrows.”

“24/7 protection. The full package. You’ve done it before,” Price explains and Simon once again nods along. “Before you take the job tho-“ he pauses. “She’s, well… she’s a lawyer Simon. You need to know what you get into.” The Captains gaze hardens, his back straightening. “She won’t like that she’s on protection detail, therefore she’ll be treating you like that.”

Simon only smirks, flipping his well kept coin between his fingers. “There’s nothing I can’t handle John. I’ve met people like that before and I was perfectly fine.”

Now Price was the one smirking while shaking his head. “I know and I don’t question your abilities but she’s a civilian—the one you’re protecting. You can’t handle this the way you’ve handled other subjects before.”

“I know what I’m getting into,” Simon assures in a calm tone definitely not knowing what he was getting himself into.

“Fucking hell,” Simon mutters when he first sees you. You’re walking straight to you office—the one he was sitting in—involved in a heated talk with that seemed like your secretary.

He’s able to make out single words but well, his hearing wasn’t the best anymore after nearly 20 years of military service. And now he thinks he probably should’ve stayed in the field.

The way you’re waking and talking and dressing just screams ‘snob’ at him. He slightly lowers his head to gaze at you, once again playing with his coin. Maybe he should’ve declined the offer and taken on the underground wrestling instead. Would’ve been more fun for sure.

As soon as you spot your guest you send your secretary away, bracing yourself for the following conversation. You weren’t a fan of getting security and you definitely weren’t a fan of the fact that it was a friend of your father’s friend and he—apparently—was everything but easy.

“Lieutenant Riley,” you greet him, extending your hand to him. When he stands up to his full height you slightly crane your neck; the professional smile still on your face.

“Ma’am,” he greets in a gruff voice, the skin of his hand raw and calloused as he return the handshake. “Pleased to meet you.” He isn’t. He just wants to leave but he brought this on himself so he needs to finish it now. ‘One year’, he told himself. ‘Then I can quit.’

“I can only return the pleasure,” you smile, clearing your throat. “Would you mind sitting down at my desk?” You ask, pointing towards said desk. “I think it’s easier to discuss business over there.”

Simon agrees, towering over you as he makes his way over to one of the chairs in front of the desk. You take place behind it, carefully straightening your blouse. He needs to warn himself not to stare. Fuck, why were you so pretty? A pretty little snob…

“This has to be taken seriously!” Simon raises his voice at you, successfully blocking the door of your office.

“This is nothing I haven’t dealt with before,” you argue with him, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “So please, Simon, let me get out of my office and back to work.”

He huffs, “Not a change. You’ll be staying here until the threat is cleared.” He glances over his shoulder, loving and hating the fact that you had a glass office. “Are these bullet prove?” he asks, looking at you again.

You sigh, “No.”

“We’ll have that changed,” he immediately answers and you start to shake your head.

“We’ll have nothing changed! You weren’t hired to renovate my office!” You walk towards him. “Now, Mr. Riley, please step aside so I can continue working.”

“Not happening.” He straightens up to his full height, expecting you to back off but you do the exact opposite. You swat your finger at him, looking up.

“I don’t care what you think, you will stay here; if you want it or not.” His voice is stern and stoic and you need to do your best to not full on scream at him.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that,” you hiss, your index finger jabbing his chest. “I can make my own decisions, I’m a responsible adult. So don’t you dare talk down to me that way!”

When Simon doesn’t make a move you let out an angry huff and shake your head. Then you turn away and stalk towards your desk. “Fucking military man,” you curse under your breath, ignoring the way he stared you down.

You stare at your open suitcase, debating what to wear. On the one hand, you kinda were on your own, on the other hand, Simon was with you.

You were comfortable in your body—no question—you actually kinda liked the extra cushions but sometimes you felt like Simon was staring at you. Like he wasn’t able to take his eyes off of you and that made you…feel something. Something you were afraid of.

“Ah fuck it,” you say under your breath, fishing out some shorts and a shirt. You could care less about what Simon thinks. You both are only work related. Nothing else.

You tap down the stairs, walking straight into the kitchen. “You want something to eat?” You ask Simon, glancing at him when you hear him enter.

“You willing to make some?” he jokes, expecting you to say ‘no’ but when you say ‘yes’ his eyes widen and he pauses for a second. When you notice it you let out a small chuckle, opening the fridge and multiple cabinets to see what you could make.

“Any friends that’ll miss you?” he asks once you place a plate in front of him, looking up at you with curious eyes.

You shake your head, “Nope. Not really.” You sit down opposite of him, grabbing your fork. “Too busy to have friends.”

He tilts his head, blindly picking up the food either his fork. “No boyfriend?” He knows you don’t have one. You have no dates, no flings, nothing; but he wants to hear it from you. Maybe then his fantasies wouldn’t be so forbidden…

“Please,” you laugh. “We’d be divorced before we even married.” You take a sip of water and look at him. “I don’t have time for relationships and that kind of stuff. I have a target to pursue. Ain’t no time for distraction.”

He only nods in an understanding manner, playing with his beer bottle. “And you?” you ask. “You got someone?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. I’ve got you to deal with. That’s enough.” He smirks when he sees your facial expression, letting out a low chuckle. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for,” he continues joking. “But no. I don’t have anyone. Never really had.”

“Oh…” you say in an almost pitiful tone and he hates it. It not that he couldn’t get someone. He just didn’t want to. That’s a big difference. “Well not really different for me,” you then snort, slightly grimacing. You had this one guy ask you out for prom but that turned out to be a bet rather fast and after than you decided to not to date in school or university anymore.

Yeah sure, you were more chubby than other girls but that doesn’t mean that you’re not lovable, right? By now you were comfortable in your body—you were in your mid 20’s—but sometimes you felt yourself slipping back into the insecure girl you once were. The one who thought that no man would ever lay his eyes on her in a lustful or loving manner.

Simon’s itching to say something; to ask why you don’t have anyone… You’re perfect. You’re nice—even if he hated to admit it. You’re pretty, you’re so fucking soft… Did the men around you not see that?

“Simon?” You wave your hand around in front of his face, chuckling when he slightly flinches, his pupils blow. “Are you alright?” you carefully ask, eying him as if something was wrong.

But he only clears his throat, “Yes. Everything’s fine.” Then he hastily stands up and nods at you. “Thank you for the food.”

You watch after him as he leaves, a frown on your face. Was he really okay or was he just lying to you?

Simon on the other hand was probably turning red as a tomato. How could he allow himself to slip like that? Fuck, he needed to keep himself better under control.

As soon as he reaches his room he shuts the door and leans against it while opening his pants with shaking hands.

He had a—growing—problem and he needed take care of it. Now.

Approximately one week into the lockdown Simon finds you in the living room, crouched over a bunch of files and documents.

“What’s that?” he wants to know, looking over your shoulder.

“Work,” you simply reply, taking notes and pushing the papers around. You were so close, this close to finally finish this case but something was missing and it stressed you out.

He slowly nods, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “And how did you manage to get these files?”

“I’m a lawyer Simon. I have my ways and connections,” is your plain answer and you can basically feel him tensing behind you.

“What if they give away your location,”

“They won’t.”

“How can you be sure?” He tries his best to be calm but god, you were testing his nerves. He gave you strict orders and you were supposed to follow them.

You turn around with an annoyed sigh, looking up at him. “Because my father brought me those. You think he would sell me out to the enemy? I doubt so.”

You raise your eyebrow, waiting for any other complaint by him but be only looks at the files behind you, then at you again. “Maybe check the mission reports of the special forces.” With that he leaves you alone, more than confused.

You know why Simon told you what he told you when you find what you need exactly there. The mission reports were sitting somewhere beneath everything else because you didn’t pay much attention to them; in the end they were the solution.

Now you could finally link the crimes to someone and with that to the government or the military at least.

The next time you see Simon you almost jump into his arms, thanking him over and over again. “Now the case is finally closed,” you tell him with a big grin on your face, completely forgetting that you’re usually not so happy when around him.

Simon just awkwardly pats your back, pushing you off him and ignoring the burning desire deep within him. He knew it was risky to give you a tip but you were struggling and he didn‘t like that. He just hoped that you wouldn’t ask him why he knew that you should look at the mission reports. Once you knew that he was a war criminal this job would be over. And while you certainly were a pain in the ass sometimes he felt a very present attraction towards you.

Simon realises he’s a goner when he wakes up one morning and sees you walking around in a shirt. Just a shirt, as far as he can see and it does something to you. His hands are itching to touch you and he finds himself excusing himself more and more to the bathroom.

And you? You started to notice the kind of power you have over him and it makes you boast with pride. You, a chubby little lawyer in your mid 20s, has him, an almost 40 year old retired military Lieutenant, wrapped around your little finger.

After that you decide to play a little game. Wouldn’t hurt, no? Just subtle touches. Brushing his arm when you walk past him, patting his chest when he helps you with something, your legs touching his whenever you sit beside him.

He tries to shrug it off but you can practically feel how worked up he gets and how hard it is for him to keep him shit together; and that fuels you only more. How long would it take for him to break? To crumble beneath your touch, huh? You wanted, no, you needed to find that out.

Simon knows what you were doing. He isn’t stupid but he hates it. How was he so weak that you were able to play with him like that?

After a week, maybe two of you dancing around him he has you caged in against the kitchen counter, towering over you.

“What makes you think you can just play with me like that, huh?” he asks in a low voice, his eyes scanning your face for any reaction. “You think it’s funny? Working me up like that every day?”

You try not to be intimidated—or turned on—by him but god, he’s just- you don’t have any words for it. He’s tall, broad and fucking strong. You once got a look at the muscles under all his clothes and you weren’t the same after that. Nu-uh.

“I thought you like it,” you reply with a cocky grin, trying to overshadow your uncertainty. “Do you want me to stop?” You blink at him, acting all innocent and pure. In the corner of your eye you see his grip on the counter tightening. Oh, you had him where you wanted him.

A ‘bloody hell’ is all you get before his lips crash down onto yours and he heaves you on top of the counter. His hands find their way to your hips, scarred fingers tracing them and squeezing, wanting to pull you even closer.

The moment his lips touch yours you forget everything else. This is want you wanted—needed—for weeks. And lord, that man knew what he was doing.

You weren’t a fan of him dragging and pushing you around but right now? Right now you couldn’t wish for anything else. You bury your hands in the dirty kind strands of hair on the back of his head, gently pulling at them which results in him groaning in your mouth.

“Take me to the bedroom and maybe I’ll stop teasing you,” you breathlessly tell him once he breaks the kiss only to kiss you again immediately making you all hot and tingly.

You can feel him smirk against his lips before they trail down your neck towards your collar bone. “Ain’t gonna take you anywhere love,” he whispers and you’re able to once again feel him smirk against your skin. “Gonna fuck you right here on that kitchen counter. You want that?” he looks up at you through hooded eyes, which makes you swallow.

“Words love, words.” His tone is playful even tho you can see the desperation in the way his hands move all over your body, letting you see stars already.

“Yes…please,” you almost choke out, feeling like everything you want to say is being swallowed my your throat again. You’re unable to talk.

“That’s what I wanted to hear,” Simon teases, straightening up to kiss your lips again, cupping your cheek. “Gonna take good care of you,” he promises. “I’m gonna show you how a real man treats you,” he swears and you can feel a familiar but also unfamiliar heat building in the pit of your stomach.

(i got scared to write the rest👍🏼. i’m sorry, i’m still new to writing smut😭)

362 notes · View notes

jinkoh · 5 months

Text

If I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to?

my centerfold

eric x fem!reader

“Is there ever going to be a right time for us?” Eric sounded bitter. He didn’t mean to, but he just didn't know how to hide his feelings about all of this. You tensed up, your fingers almost desperately intertwining themselves with his. “There has to be.”

tags: slow burn, childhood friends to ? to lovers, hurt/comfort, time skips, y/n is 2 yrs older, kinda rlly bad communication but they figure it out, one (1) suggestive scene

warnings: alcohol consumption, implied mental health issues, eric is lowkey not having a good time in this (but things turn out okay!! it will be fine!!)

i tried to stay away from physical descriptions but it does say y/n has smaller hands than eric

wordcount: ~6,7k

a/n: i think i started writing this when hurt me less came out bc it got me in the mood for something angsty and then it somehow turned into a songfic for 'coney island' instead. and ofc it's still angsty bc there is nothing i love more than writing pain :)) anyway i hope you enjoy~

Masterlist

Being seventeen sucked. Because seventeen had Eric sitting in his tree house, by himself, picking apart the old bleached out rug. Seventeen had him eating lunch with his friends, except you'd decided not to be a part of them anymore, sitting with Hyunjae and Juyeon instead. Which, to be fair, made sense because they were in the same grade and Eric wasn’t but that hadn’t stopped you before so why did it now?

Seventeen had him going to the arcade, trying over and over to win that silly plastic ring from the claw machine, as if it could fix anything, as if he still had anyone to give it to. Seventeen had him watching you graduate and it was stupid how pretty you looked in that black robe, as you left him and all your shared memories behind. He wanted to take a picture with you, he'd always naturally assumed you would, but you hadn't spoken in weeks and Eric was too much of a coward to start now. So he watched you from afar, radiant smile on your face as you stood with your family that he knew so well it felt like it was his own. And yet he didn't belong there anymore. And yet, you didn’t want him there anymore.

He rode his bike home after the ceremony, mindlessly throwing it onto the lawn before he climbed up the wooden steps to his tree house. He'd spent so much time here with you that sometimes he forgot it was his and not yours. He remembered you sitting on the patchwork of rugs and carpet squares with him, laughing bright as the sun at some silly joke of his. You're funny, you'd said, wiping away tears from the corners of your eyes, and he'd never liked himself more than in that moment, with you giggling about his antics. Eric wondered if maybe you'd changed your mind and the parts of him you'd thought of as funny before had become annoying and childish. He wasn't that much younger but maybe the age difference had become all you could see, Eric just a kid that wouldn't be able to relate to the things ahead of you. He thought about the way you'd looked at him the last time you'd been up here together. There'd been something in your eyes that Eric had interpreted as love, but then your expression had shifted and you'd left and you hadn’t come back since.

Sitting all alone in the tree house, pointlessly overthinking all your possible reasons, he sort of regretted ever taking you up the brittle ladder. This tree house was supposed to be his safe space, but it felt looming and empty now. Where was he supposed to find comfort, if every possible source of comfort that he knew somehow tied back to you? Maybe he'd shared too much with you, given too much of himself, because now that you were leaving, what was there that you wouldn't take with you? What would be left behind with him, of him, once you were gone? He didn’t want to find out but it wasn’t looking like he had much of a choice.

Nineteen had Eric on top of the world. He’d surprised everyone by staying in town for college while most of his friends—including his best friend Sunwoo—didn’t, but it’d felt like the right thing to do. Of course, his plans used to be different, but the reason behind those plans, being together with you, had disappeared. Maybe it looked sad or pathetic from the outside, staying behind while everyone was leaving, but it didn’t feel that way to Eric. Because for once this had been a decision he’d made just for himself. And it'd proved to be the right one. Eric loved college, he loved his classes and he wasn’t lonely either. He'd never struggled to make new friends, so he’d found his people right on the first day, clicking with them so easily as if he’d known them forever. He’d met his girlfriend that way too and they’d been going strong for three months now. She was bold and bubbly and the type of person who made life feel good and easy. He liked her.

He liked her enough not to think about you anymore, except for the brief moments when he did. But even then it didn’t come with the same burst of emotion as it used to. He’d been so heartbroken back then, and then after the heartbreak there'd been this burning anger about the way you’d never told him why you cut him off. But now all that was left was a sense of bittersweet nostalgia.

The nostalgia overcame him again, when he entered the arcade with his friends. None of them came from this town, so they didn't have any memories about this place. It was just an arcade to them, so it would have been weird to decline when they'd asked Eric if he was up for going. And why would he decline either way? Sure, he hadn’t gone to the arcade in a long time, eventually leaving it behind like so many places he'd associated with you. But he was okay now.

Or maybe he wasn’t, because once inside he naturally found himself in front of the claw machine again. After all this time the silly little plastic ring was still the same, taunting him from the display of prices to be won. He threw in a coin and then another and another.

"What are you trying to win so desperately?" His girlfriend asked with a giggle, as she came up to him from behind.

"Uh, nothing really."

"Nothing?" She tilted her head.

"It's a little stupid," he admitted, "but I've always wanted to get that ring. I never managed, so I can't help but try when I see it."

"That's cute though. I’m rooting for you," she said, giving him a little peck on the cheek. Eric felt guilty, as if he was keeping a secret from her.

"Will you give it to me, if you do win it?"

He hesitated for a moment too long before replying. "Of course. But I doubt I will."

She didn’t take much notice of his faltering and just gave him another peck before she disappeared elsewhere to play a racing game.

Eric got a bunch of key charms that day. Until, suddenly, when he popped open another plastic ball, there wasn’t a key charm inside. He stared at the ring with something akin to confusion. He'd tried so often back then and never succeeded, so a part of him had started to believe it wasn’t actually possible. But here it was, right there in his palm, two years late and looking cheaper up close. In the end it was just a piece of plastic, he supposed. He slipped it into his pocket. When his girlfriend asked later, he told her about the key charms and let her choose one of them before dividing the rest among his friends. The ring stayed hidden in his pocket, a secret heavier than the colorful plastic it was made of.

He turned the ring between his fingers later that night, lying awake with useless thoughts. That day in the arcade, when he’d failed to get the ring for you was when it’d all gone down the drain. You’d hung out at the arcade a lot back then, you and Eric and Sunwoo and Haknyeon and Hyunjae and whoever else had been in the mood. There hadn’t been anything special about that day; you’d joked around like always, teasing him about not winning anything. “Just watch me,” he’d shot back, trying to defend his pride. “Tell me what you want and I’ll win it for you.” “The ring. From the claw machine," you'd replied and to this day Eric didn’t understand why you’d chosen that of all things. He’d agreed though, telling you it was easy; only to get nothing but a bunch of key charms and a necklace. He’d wasted a ton of coins trying to get it for you, even after that day, even after you were no longer speaking. But now that he finally had it, it felt underwhelming. It was tiny, probably meant for children with the way it didn’t even fit his pinky. Then again, your hands were smaller than his. Not that he’d ever gotten to hold them, but he remembered from the way you’d grabbed the front of his T-shirt the very same day. It was stupid that he could still recall such a silly detail. He should be remembering other things instead, like how it’d felt when your lips crashed into his, but the touch had been so brief and so surprising, he had barely registered it had happened at all when you were already pushing him away again. It’d been his first kiss, so he thought he should be remembering it better, but what came to mind was always the moment right before, when you’d looked at him with fondness, and then the moment right after when there’d been terror in your eyes, a look of reproach. As if he’d been the one to cross that line, when really, it was you. You had grabbed his shirt and you had kissed him first. So why was he treated like he'd been the one who’d made the mistake?

And why was it a mistake anyway?

“This is pretty cute too,” you said when you were sitting in his tree house together, holding up the necklace that was sparkling in the light of the evening sun that came in through the window. “Of course it’s not a ring, but yanno, can’t have it all.”

Everyone had gone home, but you’d naturally gone back with Eric. He hadn’t questioned it because you always did that, treating his home like your own. And it wasn’t like he wanted you to leave.

“If you don’t like it, give it back,” he complained with a pout, trying to snatch the necklace from you, but you quickly held it out of reach.

“Nope, never. You already gave it to me, so it’s mine now.” You turned your back to him, pushing your hair to the side and holding the necklace around your neck for him to close. “Help me put it on?”

There shouldn’t have been anything weird or special about this, but Eric’s hands trembled and it took him three attempts to finally get it right.

“Maybe a necklace is better,” you’d said as you turned back around to him, brushing over the little pendant, cheap metal against the skin between your collarbones. “I’m too young to get married and I’m sure there are other people you’d prefer giving rings to anyway.”

He should have made a silly comment now, agreeing that just the thought of marrying you was grossing him out. But it didn’t. It actually sounded pretty good to him.

“No,” he mumbled without making eye contact. “I wouldn’t have minded giving it to you.”

You didn’t reply, and it made him realize that he’d probably fucked up. He shouldn’t have said that. He looked up, searching his brain for a stupid joke to lighten up the mood, but when he met your gaze you looked flustered.

“Really?” your voice was quiet.

“Yeah.”

“Win it for me next time then.”

Eric felt his skin tingle at your words, helplessly trying to figure out if you were fucking with him right now or if all of this meant what he thought it did. “Okay,” he pressed out, because what else was he going to say if the girl he liked asked him for a ring?

For a moment you just looked at him, but then you grabbed his shirt, your fingers wrapping around the fabric to pull him in, and Eric in his surprise almost toppled forward. Except he didn’t because then there were your lips on his that stopped him from falling.

The fall only came after, when you dashed out and completely stopped talking to him.

Twenty-one wasn't what Eric thought it would be. That feeling of being undefeatable that had empowered him at nineteen seemed to be completely used up now. Instead the teenage angst had come back with full force, making him feel more miserable and anxious than ever. Of course he wasn’t actually a teenager anymore, but calling it teenage angst was less frightening than calling it depression and it wasn't like he was seeing anyone about it anyway. As long as he didn’t have a diagnosis he didn’t have an actual problem. It was just a little losing streak, but he'd be back on his game in a bit. He just had a lot to deal with right now, like how college was harder than it'd felt at the beginning. Or how his girlfriend had broken up with him a few months ago and he hadn’t dated since. It was fine though, it was better that way. She deserved better. After all, even now he wasn’t sure if he missed her or if he just missed being with someone. But simply knowing it'd been the right choice didn't take away that looming feeling of loneliness in his bones.

Of course he had friends that cared about him, but they were her friends too and even though they'd separated amicably, he felt awkward and detached. He didn’t know how to open up to them anymore, or maybe he'd never really opened up to them from the start. More often than not he wished that he'd gone to the same college as Sunwoo after all. Surely, he'd be feeling better then. Because despite his teasing and feigned annoyance, Sunwoo was his best friend and the person he relied on the most. Except that felt so much harder to do with distance between them and Eric couldn’t shake off the fear of becoming a burden if he told Sunwoo just how miserable he was feeling. So, he was somehow dealing with it by himself, mostly relying on the hope that it would eventually pass and that maybe he would wake up some day and feel okay again.

Today wasn’t the day though, he realized as he stood at the grocery store without his shopping list and only fragmentary memories of what he’d been meaning to buy. He was ruffling his hair in frustration in the dairy section, trying to remember if milk was needed or not, when he suddenly got pulled out of his thoughts.

“Eric, right?”

When he turned around he found Hyunjae standing in front of him, four years older than the last time he’d seen him and yet unmistakably the same.

“It’s Hyunjae,” he unnecessarily explained with a bright smile when Eric didn’t respond immediately.

“Yeah, of course, I remember.” Eric tried to return his smile, but he felt too conscious of himself, too uncomfortable in his own skin and the hoodie that he hadn’t washed in too long.

“Are you also back for spring break?”

There was no reason to feel embarrassed about it, but somehow Eric felt small when he admitted that he had never left town. He'd never felt ashamed of that a year or two ago.

“Really?” Hyunjae looked surprised, but there was no judgment there at all. “I always thought you’d go to the same school as y/n. The two of you were attached at the hip back then.” He chuckled. “But I guess you had your own plans. Good for you though! Hope life’s been treating you well?”

“Oh, totally,” Eric lied with a smile. “It’s going great. What about you?”

“Yeah, same, but I’m glad it’s spring break now. I’m actually buying some stuff for the weekend,” he nodded towards his cart, loaded with beer and liquor and meat. “Throwing a party since a lot of the guys from school are back right now—,” he interrupted himself for a second. “Actually, you should come. If you’re free on Friday."

“Sure,” Eric nodded, “I’ll stop by if I find the time.” There was no reason to think he wouldn’t, there were no other plans to speak of, but he wanted to keep himself the option of showing up.

“Nice,” Hyunjae grinned. He seemed genuinely pleased about the prospect of Eric coming, but maybe that had more to do with Hyunjae being a nice, sociable guy, rather than how he felt about Eric specifically. Still, it was nice to be invited somewhere.

“I’ll see you on Friday then,” he added, lightly patting Eric on the back before getting back to his cart.

“Yeah,” Eric gave him a small wave. “See you then.”

Eric was convinced he wouldn’t go to the party. He still thought so until Friday evening, when he was chilling on the couch fumbling with a rubix cube and came to the depressing realization that he hadn’t done anything all week and wasn’t going to do anything on the weekend either. The thought of that made him feel miserable and like a stranger to himself. He wasn’t the type of person to stay at home by himself all week, letting spring break pass by without any memories to speak of. He had to think of Hyunjae’s invitation then and he decided to go. After all, if he wanted things to be different, he’d have to do something about it. And he liked going to parties, didn’t he? Maybe he hadn’t been to one in a while but he assumed it was like riding a bicycle, surely he’d be back in his element once he arrived. So, he slipped on some fresh clothes, did his hair, and made his way over to Hyunjae’s, fashionably late of course.

Rather than ringing the bell, he headed straight for the garden, where he heard the sound of music and laughter. The party was in full swing already, the atmosphere light and happy, making it easy to blend in and make small talk here and there. Eric didn’t remember everyone’s names, but he did recognize a bunch of faces and it seemed like almost everyone remembered him to some extent. It was a nice feeling to know he’d left enough of an impression on all these people from school for them to still have positive memories about him. Of course, none of the conversations he had were all that deep and meaningful, but after distancing himself from people for weeks now and constantly worrying about being a burden to those around him, it was a relief to see that people did seem to like having him around.

He was starting to loosen up, feeling lighter and happier than he’d been in weeks. Surely the alcohol was doing its part too, but Eric was convinced it was more than that. The evening felt like a turning point, like the kick of motivation he’d needed to work on getting better again. Maybe he was being a little delusional.

Just when he was about to open another bottle of beer, a voice made him stop in his tracks.

“Eric?”

You hadn’t even been all that loud, but he felt like the noise of the party—the music, the chatter, the laughter—all of it had suddenly diminished to a faint background noise at the call of your voice.

He hadn’t heard it in years, but there was no doubt in his mind it was yours. The time apart could never erase all the time spent together, your voice ingrained in his memory like a melody from his youth.

Eric didn’t turn around immediately. Instead he resumed opening the bottle first, using the brief moment to try and collect himself. It wasn’t really working. He hadn’t expected to meet you here. In hindsight that’d been pretty stupid, but hindsight wasn’t really helping him now.

He swallowed around the lump in his throat before finally turning around to face you. “Y/n.” He didn’t know what face he was making. Was he smiling? He wanted to smile.

“It’s been a while.” You were smiling. It was a little timid, as if you weren’t sure if Eric would want you to talk to him, but it was a smile nevertheless. He was glad somehow, that there didn’t seem to be any hard feelings on your side. A part of him had always feared that you’d come to hate him.

“Yeah.”

“Do you maybe—,” you were fumbling with the pendant of your necklace. It looked expensive, or at least more expensive than the one he’d gotten you from the arcade. He pointlessly wondered if you still had it. “Do you wanna go for a walk? Or something?”

“Sure.” It was an automatic response that came out before he had the chance to consider if he actually wanted to. But when you both set foot onto the pavement and slowly distanced yourselves from Hyunjaes house, Eric thought that he did want to.

It was quiet for a bit so Eric said “Hyunjae invited me,” both to fill the silence and because he thought you could be confused about his attendance at the party.

“Yeah, he told me.”

Somehow Eric felt weird about that. He wasn’t sure if it was the fact that the two of them had talked about him, or the fact that they’d talked at all. “Are you still close?” It was a stupid question. Eric could already guess the answer and he didn’t actually want to hear it. A very uncalled for jealousy crept up in his stomach.

“Yes. I mean, not to that extent—we’re not living in the same city—but we’ve kept in touch.”

“That’s nice,” Eric replied and he wanted to mean it but all he could think was ‘why didn’t you keep in touch with me?’

You turned a corner, entering a playground that was deserted at this hour and Eric followed along, taking the other one when you sat down on one of the swings. He watched as you slowly swayed back and forth, your gaze fixed onto your feet that never left the sand.

“I know it’s late,” you eventually started without looking up, “but I always wanted to apologize.”

It felt weird to hear you apologize. Maybe because in his head Eric has assumed you had moved on from everything quickly, starting your new life in a new place and forgetting all about the boy you’d left behind. It’d made sense to him, because while he’d never gotten the luxury of actual closure, always stuck wondering what he’d done wrong for things to go the way they did, you had known. There were no open ends to take care of, not for you. Or so he’d made himself believe, but here you were, apologizing because apparently you too hadn’t just forgotten everything.

“I was a dick back then,” you added and Eric found himself agreeing. “Yeah.” He thought he saw you flinch at his honesty.

“I’m sorry. I really am. I know it’s not an excuse but I just—I was really scared back then.”

“Scared of what?”

“Everything. Graduation. Change. It all felt so scary to me. And I know it’s scary to everyone, I get that, but back then I felt like I was the only one struggling. Everyone around me seemed all happy and excited and I just felt so scared.”

“I could have been there for you.”

“I know. I knew. But maybe you were one of the reasons I was so scared and I didn’t know how to tell you that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Eric turned to you with a frown, but you didn’t look up.

“I was just so scared of losing you.”

“We would have been fine even with the distance. You wouldn’t have lost me.”

“Maybe not.”

“Definitely not,” he insisted.

You stopped swinging, your heels digging into the sand. “It wasn’t just the distance—I mean, of course I was scared of being apart. But at the time even being together felt like I was going to lose you. I just felt different, and I knew I was ruining our friendship but I didn’t know how not to. Or, I don’t know—maybe I thought boycotting things myself would be easier to stomach. It was a mistake, I know that now, but I was stupid back then.”

Eric knew how hard it was for you to tell him all this, he heard it in the way your voice trembled and he saw it in the way your hands clung onto the chains of the swing like your life depended on them. But hearing it wasn’t easy either. You were confirming what he’d somehow already known: kissing him was a mistake to you. It’d been something to boycott your friendship without any deeper meaning, and that stung because it had meant so much to him.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” you continued when Eric didn’t say anything, “but I at least wanted to say sorry. I was an idiot.”

A moment went by in silence, and then another. There was nothing aside from the wind rustling in the trees and the slight squeaking of the swings’ hinges. Eric felt tears welling up in his eyes and that sucked because he’d so badly wanted to be okay when he saw you again; he’d wanted to be over it, but now that you were here it all came back to him. He looked up to the dark sky, trying to blink away the tears. It was pathetic that he was crying like this, still hung up on his first love after four years.

“Did you ever actually—,” He started but then interrupted himself. —like me?, was what he wanted to ask but he couldn’t get the words out. It seemed you understood him anyway.

“I did. I liked you, Eric. I know I didn’t act like it, but I really liked you.”

He turned to meet your gaze and he was surprised to see tears in your eyes too. You seemed earnest. “But did you like me like that?” His voice was hoarse and quiet and barely came out at all, but he needed to ask, he needed to finally know.

You looked confused, as if you’d already given all the answers Eric was looking for and he was just too stupid to see. And maybe he was, maybe you’d already said it all, but he had to make sure.

“That’s what scared me so much, Eric,” you whispered. “I didn’t want to destroy our friendship with my silly feelings, but at the same time I wanted—”

“They weren’t silly. If your feelings were silly then mine were silly too.”

Your breathing hitched. “What do you mean?”

“I liked you too,” he admitted because there wasn’t a reason not to, “I always, always liked you.”

With a long sigh you pushed yourself up from the swing, taking a few steps ahead, maybe just to do something. “I really fucked things up, huh?” You turned to look at him, as if you wanted to ask more, but it took you another two turns and a few more uneasy steps to gather the courage. “What about now? Do you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you,” Eric got up too, reaching out for your hand to stop your pacing. Your fingers felt cold, maybe from the iron chains of the swings, and he wished he could put them in his pocket to warm them up. “I never once hated you.”

When you looked up now, eyes almost a little teary, he realized how close you were. If he just leaned in a little he could have kissed you. He didn’t get to though, because you leaned in first, your lips brushing his in a careful, feather light touch before you pulled away again, a question in your eyes. His gaze followed your lips, chasing the kiss, and that was enough for you to lean in again. This time I need to remember, he thought to himself as he reached up to cup your jaw and pull you in. This time I have to remember every little thing about it.

Having you back in his room after all this time felt strange and having you in his bed felt even stranger. Eric remembered the days spent sitting on his race car sheets that he would have been too embarrassed to show anyone else, but it was fine if it was you, because you wouldn’t tell anyone. He remembered the laughing and the play fighting and all the dreams and plans you’d talked about while staring at his ceiling with the little sky of glow-in-the-dark stars looking back at you. The stars weren’t there anymore, nor were the race cars. But most importantly, rather than sitting next to him, you were straddling his hips, your eyes dark and beautiful in the halflight of the room. You leaned down to kiss him and your hair felt ticklish where it brushed his skin. It was a slow and sweet kiss, your fingers gently carding through his locks. But you steadily became more greedy, slipping your tongue into his mouth as you drew him in. He didn’t mind at all, feeling that same sense of hunger burning under his skin. When you ground your hips into him, he let out a groan, muffled only by your lips on his own. Almost automatically he grabbed onto your waist, pulling your body even closer to his own because it never felt close enough. He broke away from your lips, his mouth moving to your neck instead, leaving a trail of bites and kisses in its wake. You tilted your head to give him more access as you continuously rolled your hips into his, chasing that sweet sweet friction. His hands slipped beneath your shirt and he loved the feeling of your warm skin right beneath his fingertips as he explored your body. When his hands traveled down to the waistband of your jeans, tugging at the fabric in a question, he felt you jolt in his lap, stopping your movements as if you’d woken up from a trance.

“Wait,” you whispered with a breathy voice, your hand coming to rest on his.

“You don’t want to?” He asked, searching your eyes for answers. Of course he wanted to, but it wasn’t like he’d be upset if you didn’t. Anything was fine with him, really, as long as you didn’t disappear from his side again.

“It’s not that.” You took a deep breath and Eric immediately felt a sense of dread bubble up in his stomach.

“But?”

“Eric, I’m flying back in three days.”

His grip on you instinctively tightened, as if that could somehow make you stay. Of course he’d somehow known that you would have to go back to your life that very clearly wasn’t taking place in this town, or room, or bed. But he’d chosen to ignore that knowledge, pushing it to the far back of his mind because he didn’t want to think about it. What use was there thinking about it anyway? He couldn’t change it.

“Yeah,” he whispered, letting his head drop onto your shoulder and wrapping his arms around you in a hug.. “But can’t we have this? At least for now?”

“If we indulge ourselves now, won’t it hurt more to part ways?”

“I don’t know. I think it hurt plenty last time.” He didn’t want to sound bitter or like he was holding a grudge, because he wasn’t. But it almost seemed like history was repeating itself. Why did you always kiss and run? What was it about him that you didn’t want to stay?

He felt your arms coming around his back, your hands drawing slow patterns. “You’re right, it hurt plenty,” you admitted and your voice seemed to tremble, “I just don’t know what to do. It’s like we’ll always get hurt, no matter which route we take.”

Eric raised his head to look at you and he felt his heart ache when he saw tears running down your cheeks. “Maybe. But if we get hurt anyway, shouldn’t we at least make the most of being together now?”

“Okay,” you whispered, resting your forehead against his.

He smiled, reaching up to wipe away your tears. “Okay,” he repeated. And then you kissed, again and again, until the sweet comfort of your touch drowned out the heartache that was haunting both of you.

For two days, you lived in your own little world, shut away from the reality that waited outside of Eric’s room and just indulging in the way it felt to be together. Of course you both knew it wasn’t going to last, it was a mock reality, a simulation of what could be under different circumstances. But Eric had given that enough thought already. At least for a bit he didn’t want to worry about that and just get a taste of that happiness, even if he had to return it eventually. You seemed to feel the same or at least that’s what Eric wanted to believe when you let him snuggle closer in the morning, giggling at the way he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his breath ticklish on your bare skin. He smiled to himself, his chest brimming with happiness as he mindlessly started playing with your hand. You had pretty hands, he thought. He traced your fingers, one by one until he reached your ring finger. His delusional mind wondered, what it’d look like if you wore a ring. Preferably one that he’d gotten for you. Which reminded him—he did get one for you. It was way late, but it was neatly sitting in his nightstand.

“Y/n,” he started in a soft voice because the morning was too quiet to speak any louder, “Sorry for not winning you an arcade ring back then.”

“You still remember that?”

“Of course I do. You know, I sometimes thought maybe things would have been different if I had won that ring for you.” It was supposed to be an introduction, leading up to the big reveal that he’d finally gotten that ring. That was romantic wasn’t it? But when he was about to sit up to reach for the drawer of his nightstand, you shot him down with your words.

“We would have gone down in flames either way. A plastic ring couldn’t have made a difference.”

“Right,” he whispered and his voice sounded choked up.

“Eric—”

“No, you’re right. It’s just a stupid ring. Who would be hung up on it all this time?” Who, aside from him, of course.

“It’s not that, Eric. It wasn’t stupid—but what I’m trying to say is it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong and it wasn’t because you didn’t win the ring for me. It just wasn’t the right time for us.”

“There has to be,” you whispered and he heard the tears in your voice. He squeezed your hand, a silent comfort because he didn’t know what else to do or say. Nothing could stop you from leaving tomorrow. Nothing could change the circumstances you found yourselves in.

You’d told him that he didn’t have to drive you to the airport, but he’d insisted. If he already couldn’t keep you he at least wanted to be with you for as long as possible. You arrived early, so you sat in one of the waiting areas for a bit, hands intertwined and a heavy silence hanging above you. It was hard to make conversation, because everything either of you could possibly say seemed so meaningless in the face of having to part. When it was finally time for you to head to the gate, Eric accompanied you as far as he could. You hugged for an eternity before reluctantly pulling away and it still seemed to be too short. Both of you had been crying on and off ever since you’d arrived at the airport, and there shouldn’t be any tears left at this point, but somehow there still were new ones coming anyway.

“I should really go now.”

“Yeah,” Eric nodded, but his fingers still held onto yours for a second longer, the thought of letting go painful, “I know.”

“It will be okay,” you whispered as you turned to leave and Eric wondered if you were telling him or yourself, “there will be a time for us.”

What bullshit, he thought to himself, watching you walk off. Why should you have to wait for a right time, after you’d already waited so long? The small plastic ball that he’d taken out of his nightstand and slipped into his pocket for god knows what reason felt impossibly heavy. He didn’t want to wait anymore.

“There won’t be,” he blurted out without thinking, “There won’t be a right time.”

You halted in your movements, slowly turning back around looking utterly heartbroken. “But can’t we hope?”

With a few steps he closed the distance between you again. “There will never be a right time for us. Because there is no such thing. Aren’t we the ones who should decide what time is right? I am tired of all this uncertainty. I don’t want to see you go without knowing if we’ll talk again. I know it isn’t easy to make things work long distance, but shouldn’t we at least try? Didn’t we spend enough time with regrets?”

“But how—how could I possibly ask that of you? After everything I’ve done, shouldn’t I make things easy for you now? How can I ask you to try something that seems to be doomed to fall apart?”

“Then what if I’m the one who’s asking you?” He pulled out the plastic capsule from his pocket, holding it out to you with shaking hands. “What if I’m the one who’s asking to try?”

You stared at it for a moment, clearly flabbergasted. “Is that—?”

“Yeah,” he opened it to show you the tiny little arcade ring, and it made a new wave of tears roll down your cheeks.

“You got it? For me?”

“A while ago. I know you said it wouldn’t change anything, it’s just plastic after all but—”

“You really went back to win it for me?” You were straight up sobbing now, but there was a smile in your eyes.

“Well, I said I would.”

“I love it,” you pressed out through tears, “I love you.”

“Yeah,” he smiled back, trying his best and failing not to cry too. He’d wondered many times if he should just throw the ring away and move on. And maybe he should have, but right now, at this moment, he was glad he didn’t. “I love you too.”

Twenty-three was fine, he supposed. And for the most part it was. He felt too young to be finishing college and there was all that fear about what was to come after; the prospect of job interviews scary, the prospect of maybe not even getting invited infinitely scarier. But it wasn’t as frightening as it could have been, maybe because he'd been seeing a therapist for a while now. Or maybe because he wasn’t feeling so alone now. Despite not living in the same town anymore he had a lot of contact with his friends these days, both from college and high school. Actually Sunwoo had even come over to help with his move. Your move, to be more precise. You’d moved in together just a few weeks ago, after his classes had ended for good. It was a cozy little flat close to your workplace that you'd picked together, and Eric had never loved coming home more than he did now. There was nothing better than knowing you’d be there and even at the times you weren’t, he still found you in every inch of your shared apartment, from the potted plant in the kitchen that you insisted wasn’t dead yet, to your forgotten sock between the sofa cushions.

You also actually wore that tiny little arcade ring (on your pinky, because it didn't fit anywhere else). He’d told you a zillion times you didn’t have to wear it, but it gave him butterflies that you did. He promised himself that once he’d found a job he would save up for a proper ring, one that you wouldn’t have to wear on your pinky. The thought made him giddy and excited for the future, overshadowing all the scary parts. Yeah, twenty-three was definitely fine.

Masterlist

#eric x reader #the boyz x reader #tbz x reader #eric sohn x reader #the boyz fanfic #tbz eric x reader #the boyz oneshot #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #tbz youngjae x reader #the boyz fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kebbis.writing

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ma3mae · 1 year

Text

Don't be so annoyed, love!

Summary: He's so annoying sometimes but it's ok because you love him 😭 (HC w/ Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo)

Genre: Crack, fluff, lowkey suggestive themes

Warnings: 🗿 we ignoring the red flags bc we can. also mentions of farting bc dazai 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿

A/N: u cant tell me that they wouldnt do any of these things ok 💀also kunikida's got a small drabble out of nowhere but im always wildin when it comes to him 😭😭😭😭😭

Dazai Osamu

u cant tell me that as soon as hes rly comfortable in ur relationship that he WOULD NOT be ashamed of just farting outta nowhere honestly 💀

Like yall r just chilling on the couch, watching smth and he just lets it all out bc why should he hold himself back 🗿

Hes at home 🗿

But bro's lucky he doesnt smell but 🗿🗿🗿🗿 wheres the warning from him

u give him the side eye and hes like "What? Are you perhaps ashamed of human nature, bella?" like ok we'll leave him alone but he ruined the emotional moment of the movie yall were watching 😭😭😭

Is also the type to prob leave his socks and clothes lying around

It got better over time but he still sometimes does it bc old habits die hard i guess 🧍

once got so bad you just collected all of his clothes and put them infront of the door so he'd have no choice but to pick all of that up and do it himself 💀

would try to talk his way out of it in the beginning but also felt kinda bad after the relationship got more and more serious

So now hes a good bf/ husband and does it himself 🤩 (with the occasional sock under the couch 💀)

drinking habits would take a bit longer to be fully gone, he'd learn to regulate it over time

He's learned to warn you tho when he thinks that a rly shitty day might hit him bc work and more

sometimes you take the day off and do something together to take his mind off of it

Sometimes you're at work and a "im home" text without hearts will come and you know whats wrong

would feel more comfortable over time letting you take care of him

will definitely show you his appreciation for you the next days in one way or the other 🤩💅

talking about living together, yall would often have to sit down to talk about his spendings bc our man cant save for ANYTHING

Used to often come home with little things like "Look, this reminded me of you!" and it's a plushie of a cat or something

Started off cute and small but got dramatic like him really fast

ngl he came home with a expensive necklace u liked when the both of u went shopping but u didnt buy it bc.. she expensive...

like he was charming as always with his "Tada! Guess what I've got you?~ 😋" ".... Not the necklace...? 😧" "🤩 How did you guess that right, bella??" "😨😨"

THIS man right here wouldnt even hesitate to just right out fking steal shit for you if u want it bc thats how much Power u got over him he'd never admit that tho sksks... OK maybe in bed...

he'd def either blackmail or bribe chuuya into helping him with stealing

probably even has access to his bank account and you'd only realize that when he'd stand infront of your door, asking where that "f*cking b*stard" is

you'd legit have to mediate their convo or else the whole building you live in would be gone immediately skks 💀

Chuuya likes u so he wouldnt make yall pay for it bc he knows that dazai's nearly broke 24/7 and u dont deserve to pay for his fault 💅

it would be enough to destroy his pride to make him obey chuuya for like 2 weeks or sum cue evil cackling from said red head

queen of Gaslightining nr. 1 😭 sometimes its for the dumbest arguments tho like why its okay to smack your lips while eating 😭

"I don't know it's just really noisy and kinda annoying for me?" "But Bella, that shows just how tasty your food is or are going to deny that fact and say that I should not show my appreciation for it? What if for me personally it's a sign of a good meal?" "Yeah but doesnt need to be that for me. Also you can show your appreciation for it in other ways like just simply saying its delicious?"

"But actions speak louder than words, my love." "YEAH, well then what do you want then???"

Its just a whole shit show and would (lmao it WILL) end in him giving you just shameless bedroom eyes and well you know whats gonna be after dinner lmaooo 🤡😭

Also also i do believe that hes not the best cook at first but hes a real fast learner so it prob would only take him a week of consuming cooking videos and reading books and BOOM

"Samu, is this a 3 course meal you're cooking because that's a LOT of ingredients in the kitchen." "Sssh just sit down, wash yourself up and enjoy the evening, my love! I'll call you when I'm done 💕"

Manages to somehow still give you some snacks and drinks in between the cooking 😭 with some sneaked in kisses on your shoulder or lips 😏

If you go and hug him from behind, he'll be MELTING

Like nuzzling your face into his back while wrapping your arms around his torso, you feel the slight rumble in his chest as he chuckles at your cute action 😭

"If you want to eat something then you should take a break from being so cute, you know? Don't want the food to go bad from maybe getting a bit distracted if you stay here for a bit longer." "Ew, are you implying you'd start something infront of our food??"

"... Well, I can just have a whole meal by myself but you'd be left hungry so it's your choice 😋"

🗿 the way he doesnt need long to be turned on is alwaya amazing to u but thats just how whipped he is and bro is a whole snack himself so WHOS complaining 😋💅

food's is guaranteed to taste heavenly but if he knows youve got time, then he'd make excuses to taste your cooking like

"Samu, it's been a while since I've gotten to taste your cooking." "Aww, was it that delicious for you? Hmm but I actually prefer your cooking!"

Time for some cooking and baking lessons together, eoow 💅 with the occasional make out session because the sauce found it's way on your lips and he just had to clean it up with his 😭😋

honestly despite all of some of the difficulties, dazai would never fail in making you feel loved in his own way even tho u gotta peel back some layers 🗿

At the end of the day, his bear hugs and many kisses are smth u love to come back home to after work

also doesnt say it but would def be a house husband for u 🤩 with the occasional "whoops gotta go and do smth quick" text and he comes home at like midnight skks bc the agency needs his cute ass 😋 but dw dinner's ready and house chores have been done so enjoy ur evening after work, zurlie 💅

dont kill me for this but id give him a 7.5/10 😭

Obsessed with him and i love him but it would prob be really really exhausting to get him to FULLY trust you and its honestly understandable

Also he kinda makes me feel like i'd have to walk on eggshells around him because you often dont really know what hes thinking 😭😭

could smile at u while thinking "why u so ugly" 😭😭

also bro is so smooth, its scary like he'd prob make us forget immediately that hes trying to find out everything about us(why he sounding like a stalker 😨😨 wouldnt want him to be MY stalker 😨😨 or would I?? 🤩) MY DELULU BRAIN 👹

Doppo Kunikida

😨 Cleaning maniac

personification of the verse "I can COOk, i can CLEAN" (i know its "dont" instead of can but we all know hes like perfect house husband material... maybe a bit too perfect 💀💀💀👹)

If u forgot a cup on the dinner table, he'd legit take the cup, put it in ur hand and be like "why did u leave it there if u r not using it"

WILL def rant about why u shouldnt do it

Honestly huge nagging mom vibes 💀💀

At the beginning of moving in together, he'd just clean everything without a word whatsoever

Like you wanna help around the house too? NUH UH, he already finished everything up.

Vaccuming the house? Done

Swiping? Lmao be sure to not arrive at home after work around that time bc u gotta stand at the door and WAIT until the floor is dried 💀😭

Dishes have been done like at 5 in the fucking morning 💀👹

Bro thankfully doesn't wash clothes that often (gotta be careful of the water bill 😭) but there r days where he legit throws his clothes nearly everyday bc the worse the mission the more blood yk 🗿🗿

U had to legit drag his ass to the couch to talk to him bc he gonn be deep clean the house if someone doesnt stop him

"Kuni, you literally don't need to do EVERYTHING by yourself! I'm also here to help and frankly, it feels like you're my maid sometimes 😞" " Don't worry. Everything fits perfectly in my time plan and since you sometimes work overtime, it's better if I do a bit more of it."

... "🗿 You are legit saving this city from being destroyed so often and I just sit in the office, bro 🤡" "I understand your argument but I have seen the way you look tired so often so let me take a bit of your burden"

He knows how to make us go "🥺"

The argument prob went on for an hour until yall settled on making a plan on who does what on which days and if someone's gotta work overtime or sum then the other takes a bit of it over and so on

So in the end its alrighty 🎉

Groceries and so on are never a problem except it sometiems turns out like going shopping with your mom because...

"Omg Kuni, look!!" *holds up cute decoration* "We could put this on our dinner table! Isn't it cute 🥺??"

Bro just takes it from you and looks at the price. Legit gives you the 🤨 look

"That's 937,32 Yen (around 6€) 🤨🤨. For a tiny statue of a dog? We could find it somewhere way cheaper." "🥺 But it's a limited edition and it reminds me of you bc its got the same fur color 🥺. It's even got ur glasses on 🥺"

Bro will say no but the day after you spot the dog on the table 🤡

Yall lying in bed together and cuddle so give him a peck on the lips while killing him with your cute ass smile (U MURDERER 🗿🗿)

"What was that for?" "Hmmm, well I just noticed that said statue magically appeared on our table. You think it was a cute long haired fairy with glasses and a grumpy look 😋? "

He tries really hard to deadpan at you but the corner of his lips still tug upwards as he pinches your nose

"Well, sometimes its not so bad to buy a little extra, I guess."

If theres a market nearby with some really good deals then you'd either be dragged together with him or he'd come home after work with tons of bags

Always surprises you in how good he is at negotiating about the price

Sometimes you gotta stop him from arguing with some of the shop keepers because some decided to sell some items way too overpriced 🗿🗿🗿

you once found him stay up all night researching about reasonable prices for veggies... 😨

and cue to yall standing in the morning infront of said shop keeper getting absolutely destroyed in an argument by your man.. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Well guess who even got some extra free stufd because kuni terrified the shit out of him 😋

"Thank you for your hard work in harvesting and selling us these delicious vegetables. My wife is quite a fan of them." Your husband said as he put the money into the shop keepers shaky hands, face red in embarassement as he squeezed out a "It's nothing." between his teeth. His face paled at the words "We'll see each other next Monday. Until then have a great week." leaving your man's mouth as he gave him a friendly smile before taking your hand and going to the next stall,only for you to sheepishly wave goodbye to the shop keeper before going with your husband.

"Well, you gave him quite the scare back there." You said as you felt him squeeze your hand a bit tighter, the bustling of the array of people only increasing by minutes. "Someone had to correct his ways. It would help his sales but only if he's willing to take that advice seriously." he simply answered as he looked at the contents of the bag, counting the ingredients left to purchase.

"Well atleast we got ourselves more than we needed so we can go home and call it a day." "Who are you?" Chuckling at your surprised face out of the corner of his eyes, he continued to make his way towards the end of the market, to finally reach your car.

"I thought over your words and I do believe it would be nice to" laze around together "for once in a while. Everything in the house has already been done, so maybe we could try out that one series you've been talking about. The reviews seem to be quite positive about it."

He just lets a breathy laugh escape his lips at your squeal while you begin to rant on why its gonna be so good watching it and

UUUUGGHHGH 😭😭😭😭 GIVE ME KUNIKIDAAAAAAAGHHHHHH 😭😭😭🤡🤡👹👹👹

honestly there are like no real red flags like his red flags are disguised green flags and yall can legit work through it easily

The only thing would be his tendency to overwork himself and it could lead to an argument but never a real fight because hes pretty easy to reason with

Like even when hes stubborn, he'll STILL listen to your words because the many good things about him that he'd always make sure to take your words seriously 🗿🗿

which sometimes makes it tempting to tease him bc we can lowkey understand why dazai easily tells him the most outrageous shit and your man just casually writes it down in his notebook 😭

"That damn idiot managed to fool me again by telling me that aliens have been among us (AMOGUS 👹) and that the goverment has been hiding it from us for decades." "I thought you already knew about that tho?"

"What" "What?"

"Wait so they're real?"

Cue to him showing him a video (that dazai sent to you a week ago just for this moment 😭)

Lmao dont tease him too much tho but dw, he cant stay mad at you at all lmao 😋💅

Honestly a 8.5/10 bc his nagging scares me 💀😭

Edogawa Ranpo

"Greatest Detective" more like "Queen of Gaslightining" 👹👹

Everyone knows hes way too obsessed with sweets but how the hell is his teeth actually still existing 🗿🗿

ngl i believe fukuzawa would prob sometimes just randomly ask him if he brushed his teeth bc he lowkey lowkey raised him ok 🤡

Ranpo is all nice like "yup, i did." but when u ask him, hes a whole b*tch about it

"Hah??? Why would you ask me that?? Do you really believe that I'd be so dumb to forget about brushing my teeth? If i can solve the most difficult cases then why would you assume that brushing my teeth might something that I'd forget, huuuhh??"

His gaslightining used to work at the beginning of ur relationship but sooner or later its not hard to notice his patterns 🗿

Like yas ok, he could just put up a whole ass strategy in how to not get u to notice that he didnt brush em at all but bro

Hes too lazy

And hes a sucker for attention 😩 like he might be "annoyed" if u nag at him bc of smth but he absolutely loves it bc its just one of his many ways to get ur attention without him having to actively get up and get it for himself 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Hes a huge clown but i love him 😭

Dazai tends to forget his socks or smth lying on the floor but THIS mf right here just doesnt rly care 😭

Like that was the first thing u noticed when u entered his apartment 🤡

Its not right out messy on a disgusting degree, its more like theres tons of trinkets n shit from cases or just random candy wrap hidden under the couch 💀💀💀

The epitome of "I can do it tomorrow" bc bro doesnt forget, he just IGNORES that he has to do it 😭

might take a while to actually get him to yk do smth around the house

used to prob only sleep and shower at his apartment and thats it💀

But when hes whipped then hes whipped and hed actually try his best to help around the house

Key word "try" 🤡

Like its often tbh accompanied by "okay, ill do it but only if i get smth"

A MANCHILD, I SAY 👹👹👹👹

But there are days when he legit deep cleans everything by himself bc either you had a bad day or yall had a fight 👹👹

still would whip out the "now gimme something, please 😋" if yall cuddle after a fight and he cleaned and tidied everything up for his love 🤩

doesnt always have to be candy yk HEUEHEUEHEUUE 👹👹👹👹👹

also its not a surprise but dont let him near the kitchen

HE COULD

HE RLY COULD COOK SO WELL

Like he had only cooked for ONE time and it was like a fever dream

Bc u legit had a fever and he cooked chicken soup but uhm 🗿

he cooked it so good??? Like veggies n meat cut and cooked up nicely?

Broth kicking in real hard?

Like? "What the hell? I thought you couldn't cook??"

Bro is about to put that spoon fr away 💀

"I'm not so heartless to let you starve and I definitely wont be giving you some cheap soup either. I just looked it up on the internet and followed the instructions so you gotta get well soon because I miss your cooking 🤩🤩"

Are we flattered?? Gurl, maybe but he'd def know if we tried to make ourselves be sick to taste his cooking again

Bro only offers to help when it comes to baking 😪😮‍💨😮‍💨

His only help is licking the dough or chocolate outta the bowl or smth 😀

would sneak in many kisses tho bc he likes u and sweet stuff is just sugar overload for him and he loves it 🤩

I think one of the important factors for him in a relationship is that fukuzawa approves of you? Since he does value his opinion over his own intellect

Like bro trusted him when it came to Fukichi and other ppl 💀

fukuzawa could legit go "aliens r evil" and ranpo would be like "ok everyone, aliens are evil!!!!" 🗿🗿🗿

honesrly i dont think why there would be a reason for fukuzawa not to accept you (if there is one then time to take 100 steps back and reflect on urself 💀)

He'd prob be impressed on how u even fell in love with him bc.. its ranpo💀

petty, clingy, can be manipulative ( but never with ill intentions), would legit prank ur ass bc he can, impatient and quickly bored af

But hes attentive, kind, can be patient when it comes down to it, empathetic (depends sksks) (also thank u fukuzawa for kinda ramming that into his head 🤩), affectionate in his own way (a sucker for physical touch but would NEVER right out admit it 🗿) and so much more honestly

there arent any real red flags tbh (might come as a surprise for some ppl)

Maybe maybe he'd obviously have a bit of difficulty fully opening up and i do believe there might be times where he once or twice legit deducted what ur feelings r for him bc hes used to being careful around people and especially bc in case someonw could randomly target the agency

Or is some kinda criminal in general

But honestly when hes learned to trust you then you know youve got yourself someone loyal 💅 and i mean FR loyal

personal favorite hc and honestly prob canon since we've already seen it : he'd not be ashamed to throw hands at someone when he thinks you're being insulted or harassed

And with hands i mean exposing them to 100% until they are pissing their pants and begging him to leave them alone 🤩🤩🤩

Also also, gives me off a similar vibe to dazai with the "maybe having to walk on eggshells" around them but ranpo doesnt make you feel as watched tbh as dazai which would kinda make it easier to talk to

but bro isnt as smooth as him so whOOP 💀💀

Overall iconic and a solid 8/10 🤩🤩🤩💕💕💕

The random ratings i gave them LMAO 💀💀💀 hope u like em 🗿

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai x reader #bsd dazai #kunikida x reader #bsd kunikida #ranpo x reader #bsd ranpo #dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #ranpo edogawa

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xoxo-susu · 9 months

Text

The ultimate guide to being coquette as a hijabi girlie

Being a coquette hijabi is so hard because so many of the key motifs (mini skirts/more revealing clothing, the literal meaning of the word, for example) go against what we believe in. But it's not impossible. So here are my personal favorite ways to be a coquette girlie without compromising my faith! (p.s thank you to @augusttheicedcoffeeaddict for reminding me to post this hehe ily)

Also!!! No hate to the coquette girlies who do wear mini skirts etc.

The white maxi skirt 🦢˚✧𓂃🩰 ໒꒱ ⋆ ˚ ⊹

Mini skirts are a staple in so many coquette outfits and so many people will try to make you think maxi skirts aren't cute but they're just haters. A cute sweater + a pleated or tiered white maxi skirt + some crafty layering has been such a lifesaving formula for me. Blouses work great for this too. And the things you can put on top of a white maxi skirt are endless. Pretty blouses, mini dresses, sweaters, sweatshirts, even cute tshirts with long sleeved shirts underneath. Same goes for denim skirts. I'm looking for one right now and I can't find any I like, but once I do I'll be unstoppable.

Bowssss 🦢˚✧𓂃🩰 ໒꒱ ⋆ ˚ ⊹

Bows. Bows are THE coquette accessory. And, thank god, you don't have to wear a mini skirt to wear bows!

Put them on literally everything. If you want to put them on your hijab, you can use a safety pin to put it on the back of your head, or you could do what I usually do, which is put them in my hijab pins. Depending on the size you can make it as subtle as you want. I have a pinterest tutorial here. (The pic on the left is me!)

Heart shaped sunglasses 🦢˚✧𓂃🩰 ໒꒱ ⋆ ˚ ⊹

Another coquette/vintage americana staple you can wear!

Berets 🦢˚✧𓂃🩰 ໒꒱ ⋆ ˚ ⊹

Same thing!

Fuzzy white earmuffs 🦢˚✧𓂃🩰 ໒꒱ ⋆ ˚ ⊹

These are SOSOSO perfect for winter. (pic on the left is me again heh)

At home 🦢˚✧𓂃🩰 ໒꒱ ⋆ ˚ ⊹

So far, this has all been stuff just in the context of going out in public. At home, I highly recommend doing you hair in a coquette way and wearing things you can only have on in front of family. It's such a confidence booster. It's a bit of effort but it's so so worth it!

Her bedroom is the window into the girl's soul 🦢˚✧𓂃🩰 ໒꒱ ⋆ ˚ ⊹

The coquette aesthetic is way more than just the clothes and hair. So if you really want to feel coquette, try and make your room as coquette as possible. Put up some coquette posters on your wall. A lot of coquette posters are haramcore and some people don't like putting up faces on their wall, so here are some really cute pics for inspo :3

What's in your bag? 🦢˚✧𓂃🩰 ໒꒱ ⋆ ˚ ⊹

Purses can make or break a good outfit. My biggest tip is to match them to your hijab. It pulls it all together. The last thing you want is for your hijab to feel like it's clashing with the rest of the outfit.

What's inside is important too! Inner beauty isn't just for living things. Keep whatever essentials you already have, plus lipgloss, a compact mirror bc no one's out here trying to have a bad hijab day, and a little bit of ribbon. Trust me about the ribbon.

Shoes!!! 🦢˚✧𓂃🩰 ໒꒱ ⋆ ˚ ⊹

Please don't wear a super cute coquette outfit and then wear tennis shoes. Just don't. Mary janes, Doc M's, and ballet flats are all really good choices.

Ik I probably sound like I'm obsessing over tiny things, but you kinda have to bc when you're breaking the mold every little thing matters.

Lastly <3 🦢˚✧𓂃🩰 ໒꒱ ⋆ ˚ ⊹

Last but not least, do not ever ever let people make fun of you. If you're a hijabi coquette girlie, you probably have some form of a muslim community, and they probably won't dress in your style. That was my case, and when I first started wearing mary janes and lace gloves I got SO made fun of. Not from the adults, but from my friends. One girl called my mary janes dorky and said they annoyed her every time she saw them. I think she expected me to laugh, but you just have to keep a straight face and say to their face that you thought that was rude. She never called me dorky again 🤷‍♀️

Take this post as a reminder that you can stay true to your faith while looking fabulous. If you have any questions pls pls feel free to ask anything. Ily all honeys, bye ♡

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frankenjoly · 3 months

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kunizai "I'm proud of you, you know that?"

And your choice with "you're cold. come here"

picked kenji & kyôka for the second bcs. the besties

kunikidazai + “i’m proud of you, you know that?”

“I’m proud of you, you know that?” Kunikida said, in barely a whisper. There was no need to speak louder, though, since the recipient of those words was sitting right beside him.

So close their hands might brush at the slightest move.

“I’d say ‘take me out for dinner first, Kunikida-kun’ if we weren’t about to have dinner already.” Dazai answered, his glance moving up to check the oven’s current status before going back down and finally falling on Kunikida’s face. And he maybe should have been annoyed by such a response, but what came from his mouth was a brief snort. “Now seriously, I just did my part. Like everyone else.”

“I don’t get how that could contradict me being proud of you, but go off, I guess.” His comment was accompanied by another scoff, as amused as the first one.

“So you’re not proud of everyone else, then? Woah, harsh.” At that point, there was no doubt about how Dazai was just being dramatic for the shits and giggles. And as tempting as Kunikida found playing along with it, that wasn’t the route he took.

“C’mon, obviously I am.” He instantly nodded, and if his hand was trembling a bit when he moved it to brush the back of Dazai’s, it was more about nervousness than having been struggling that day. Though, if asked, Kunikida may or may not try to pretend it was them acting up. “But now I’m talking to you specifically, so just take it, alright?”

“In my defense…” Dazai replied, going even further than he had and resting his head on Kunikida’s shoulder. “ Strictly speaking, I never said I wasn’t gonna take it.”

Then there came Kunikida’s third snort.

“So you were just what? Taking your time?”

“Maybe.”

kyôka & kenji + “you’re cold. come here”

“You’re cold.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Doubting would be difficult, after all, when Kenji had started shivering. “Come here.” Kyôka patted the spot right beside her over the bench she was sitting on, nudging him to come closer and sit there.

“Alright!!!” Kenji didn’t even hesitate and ran towards her, slowing down when near and sitting slowly.

Then, once he was already there, Kyôka took the towel she had been wrapped in and readjusted so they would both be covered. Since Kenji had just gotten out of the water, getting in direct contact made her experience a bit of that same cold, but it wasn’t like it bothered her much; in mere minutes, they would both be warm again, after all.

“Thanks!!!” He said, smiling wide as usual. “I didn’t think it’d feel so chilly when getting outta the pool, y’know.” Kyôka nodded, since she had experienced the same barely an hour before. “Like, we go swimming back home too, but it’s usually way warmer after. Unless you fall into one of the ponds in winter, obvi, then it’s super cold.”

“I think it was somewhat warm when my parents took me to the beach for the first time too. Or at least I think it was the beach, I was very little.”

“Yeah, I don’t fully remember my first time swimming either. Well, not literally swimming ‘cause I didn’t know how to, but you get me.” Of course she did. “And… I prefer swimming when the water’s still, but the beach sounds fun. Maybe we can go sometime, all of us together.”

“Oh, yes.” Kyôka instantly beamed. “Plus, we can build sand castles and play games in the sand, it’s not all about swimming.”

“I know, don’t worry.” In theory, she didn’t. In practice, everyone knew Kenji’s history with a flooding river, and even if the sea was different… a bit of reassurance wouldn’t hurt. Quite the opposite, actually.

(Also on ao3.)

#kunikidazai #kunizai #bsd kunikida #bsd dazai #bsd kenji #bsd kyoka #bsd #bungou stray dogs #my stuff #clau stuff #ficlet #hehehe thanks ness <3

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poppitron360 · 4 months

Note

*slides you a 20 [whatever currency you're using] bill* now tell me about how you got to ship valzhang and what you like most about it, along with your headcanons and scenarios

...please<3

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU.

Okay sorry for taking long to reply I needed to schedule 3hrs out of my day to respond to this because I have a LOT of thoughts- Valzhang was my otp LONG before Valgrace. Be prepared for a lot of caps lock, keysmashes and exited ramblings.

We are phenomenally deprived of Valzhang fanart/fanfiction and that is a CRIME. They are so fun and cute to draw next to each other because they’re just so different- I love how Leo looks SO FUNKING TINY next to Frank.

But seriously, we are lacking. I searched up “Valzhang” on Pinterest earlier and there is NO JOKE only 5 pieces of fanart on there. We need to step up our game!

I’ve already posted this, but here is some Valzhang fanart I drew a while back-

So, how did I come to become the No.1 Valzhang Defender, you ask? Well…

Reading TLH was going slowly (bc of Spotify Audiobooks and their stupid listening hours feature), but I needed to shovel content into my brain like popcorn and so by the end of the first book I’d known all the spoilers and I knew that Frank and Leo would have a rivalry- and I was already SUPER attached to Leo, so I was prepared to HATE Frank.

So imagine my absolute frustration when I read SoN and found myself absolutely falling in love with this massive softie. I tried not to, I really did, but I couldn’t help it.

So, naturally, I was COMPLETELY on board with them becoming besties.

I was also all for their rivalry because it had so much potential for Leo angst- he’s already antagonising himself because of his powers, so someone else treating him like shit would only make him feel worse- thus I have more ways to cathart my own pain through fictional characters, so either way, it was a win-win for me.

But the blossoming bromance we got from it-

Oh my gods.

I already made a post about my feelings on Valzhang and how Caleo is just a shitty re-cycled version of them, but NO WAY was that all my thoughts, so here goes (and bear in mind I am only on HoH so this isn’t even their arc as a whole):

*Clears Throat*

*Shuffles note cards*

*Clears throat again*

*Deep Breath*

1. FRANK IS NO LONGER AFRAID OF FIRE BECAUSE OF LEO!!!!! I mean HOW CUTEE IS THAT!!!!!! He thought that there was nothing worse than fire, he was terrified of it, it was his biggest weakness. And then he met this tiny annoying hyperactive boy who is the MOST UNLIKELY OF FRIENDS- And he taught him to not be afraid. Like there is a moment where his trousers are literally ON FIRE and he doesn’t freak out because Leo taught him to not be afraid anymore. AND IT’S NOT JUST BECAUSE OF THE POUCH!!!! Frank learns to trust Leo with his life- and there’s that moment in that scene where he’s faced with a choice to give him The Stick or not, and he chooses to trust Leo. He learns that fire (Leo) may seem scary and intimidating, but it can also be good and warm and wholesome and healing.

2. AND IT GOES BOTH WAYYYS!!!!! Leo was afraid of opening up to people, of letting down the mask and letting people see the real him. Sure, he did it a bit with Jason and Piper, but notice how in TLH, he only does it bc he didn’t have a choice. He used his fire powers to save them, and then Jason sort of just pieced together what happened the night Leo’s mom died. The first time he actually TELLS someone about it was when he tells Frank- someone who he thought was big and intimidating and so was putting his defences up with the jokes. To him, Frank looked just like someone who would’ve bullied him in the foster homes, he was the last person Leo thought he’d open up to. But he does, and Frank comforts him. They realise they’re not as different as they thought, and bonded over similar trauma and dead moms.

*Takes another deep breath*

3. LEO REALLY IS SO BRILLIANTLY TINY NEXT TO FRANK. IT. IS. SO. CUTE. Unlike Calypso and Leo, who were not planned out, Frank was WRITTEN to be Leo’s rival. They are exact opposites. The Yin and the Yang. The Sun and The Star (lol). They both juxtapose each other so beautifully- on the surface they contrast and clash but looking deeper they actually parallel each other but ultimately they compliment each other both in flaws and in strengths!!!! (*steadies myself on table* “Whoa, flashback to GCSE Eng Lit- using the same analysis structure. Are you proud of me, Miss Cox?”) But seriously, they initially are rivals because they look like complete opposites- tall/short, muscular/built like a twig, calm and careful/reckless and loud, animals/machines, Roman/Greek, Outwardly confident/Outwardly insecure, etc, etc.

4. But, as I said, looking deeper, they actually have a lot in common. Not just losing their moms, but Leo’s just as afraid of fire as Frank is. The only difference being that Frank’s afraid because of how it could hurt him, Leo’s afraid because of how it could hurt others, which directly contradicts Frank’s initial impression that Leo is self-centred and egotistic. Honey, that’s just an act. They’re also both very insecure, and both feel like the least useful member of the seven, and struggle to feel accepted. Because of how Leo felt threatened by Frank, he put his defences up and lashed out with his jokes, attacking Frank where he was most vulnerable, ridiculing him. They completely misjudged each other at first, and had an ANTI-meet-cute (Leo firing on New Rome) and it took a while for them to take down those walls that they’d built up, making it a lot more meaningful when they do open up.

And now we get onto specific hcs/scenarios I have, and I have a LOT of them:

1. Nico reveals to Leo that Frank’s mom is in Elysium because she gave her life in war to save others, whereas Leo’s mom is not, and instead is in Asphodel, despite all the little things she sacrificed in order to raise him, knowing he’d be important to the fate of the world. This causes a lot of resentment and jealously for Leo, as Frank has the one thing he desperately wants- a chance to see his mom again, make things right, get closure. Frank is annoyed by the fact that Leo is suddenly acting so cold and angry towards him, until Leo finally explains why.

2. Leo’s lactose-free mac n cheese is Frank’s favourite thing on earth. He has some sort of magic ingredient that makes the fake cheese not taste so plasticky, but he refuses to tell Frank what it is so Frank has to keep begging him to make it. Leo also makes it high in fibre and carbs, so it’s good workout food. Leo makes sure all his meals are Frank-Friendly.

3. I need to see them in battle together. Frank is incredibly anxious and overprotective of his tiny reckless bf/bff. Leo’s just a ball of freaking energy bouncing around going “ahahahbahjabkakdfkajkjaaa” and Frank’s like “Leo, no, those have teeth-“ He’s fine though.

4. As much as Frank acts like he hates Leo, he would risk his life for him in a heartbeat. I imagine Leo gets injured in battle and Frank drops whatever he’s doing and just fucking RUNS to help him. I can vividly picture him transforming into an elephant and scooping an unconscious Leo up in his trunk, and carrying him over to the medic tent. Yes, he’s currently being fired on by so many enemies, but nothing matters except getting Leo to safety.

5. Frank helps Leo with his machines. He can turn into small animals and get into tiny spaces, and he can become desert creatures, so the heat in the engine room doesn’t bother him.

6. Frank often finds Leo asleep on top of his blueprints, his welders-goggles askew, and he turns into a cat and curls up next to him to keep him company.

7. Also, when Leo skips meals because he’s spent too long working and he’s lost track of time, Frank makes sure to bring him food and water and his ADHD meds… and then he asks him to make him some mac n cheese.

8. Frank knows about PTSD from seeing his mom and her military friends, and so is often there to comfort Leo when he has flashbacks to the night his mom died, or one of the other miserable things that happened in his childhood.

9. All the things that used to freak Frank out about Leo (Leo making fun of his insecurities, Leo’s fire, the whole Sammy thing-) they are now 100% comfortable joking about together. Before, Frank would get upset when Leo ridiculed him, but now Leo does it as a sign of affection rather than as self-defence, and Frank can tell the difference. It is their love language.

10. When I write fanfiction, I often write important scenes when I think of them, and then write around them. Sometimes, it’s just one or two lines, for example I found this in my notes app the other day:

“I hate Hera,” Leo said, “She yeeted my dad off a cliff.”

“Yote,” Frank corrected.

And I had nothing written around it, nowhere to put it, it was just lying there. Anyway, that was important to share.

11. Also, I have this:

“I’m hugging you now,” Frank said, pulling Leo into an embrace and squeezing him tight.

“O- Okay, big guy,” Leo said, his voice muffled in Frank’s chest. His tiny body was practically swallowed in Frank’s bear-hug. He squirmed and fought and wriggled, but his weakling arms worked about as well as spaghetti against Frank’s brick-like build.

“No,” Frank insisted, “I will smother you with love and affection.”

“Get. Off.”

“No.”

“Let go of me, Zhang, or I’ll burn you.”

Frank let go. Leo rubbed his bruised arms.

12. I ship them platonically, but the joke-flirting is 1000% a thing they do. Hazel is the main pedaler of this, and often introduces them as “My boyfriend Frank, and Frank’s boyfriend Leo.”

13. Frank reluctantly admits to Leo that he likes Taylor Swift. Leo is obvs a swiftie, so absolutely goes MENTAL at this news, ofc ridicules him mercilessly for it, despite how hypocritical it makes him look (“This is not about me!”), but still insists they sit down with Hazel and make friendship bracelets (Frank no longer has the heart to tell him that he wasn’t actually a huge fan, just had a couple of her albums and liked her songs, unlike Leo who knows every word to every song, all the lore behind it, and Tay’s favourite colour, star sign, and shoe size.) AND I KNOW I HEADCANNON EVERYONE AS A SWIFTIE SHUT UP LET ME PROJECT.

14. Frank buys Leo fidget toys he think’s he’ll like. Sure, Leo can make his own, but it’s the sentiment that counts.

15. And they stay friends after the War. Frank frequently visits from New Rome University. They have long iris messages where they gossip and talk shit.

16. Leo becomes godfather to Frazel’s children. Absolutely SPOILS THEM ROTTEN (I also have a shit-tonne of hcs about Leo babysitting Percabeth’s kids, so lmk if you’d like to hear that.) Will visit the Zhang-Levesque household on the weekends, makes the kids gifts, teaches them how to safely use a fire extinguisher, helps them prank their dad.

17. I know Jason is meant to be Leo’s best friend BUT if Valgrace was cannon then that would leave room for Frank to be the BFF. NO BUT, YOUR HONOUR, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND- They started out hating each other, but then became INSEPARABLE once they took the time to get to know each other and realised they were actually really cool people. It’s not enough for them to be friends, they need to be BEST FRIENDS. They need to be their ONE AND ONLY. They need to knock on each other’s cabin doors on the Argo II at 3am and have long discussions about Their Feelings. They need to be 100% comfortable with each other and tell each other everything. Yes, Leo is annoying but he is Frank’s annoyance. Yes, Frank is a goof but he’s Leo’s goof. BEST. FRIENDS.

They’re just such an unlikely pairing, I love them sm.

Thank you for sticking with me, I will not apologise for my ramblings, you were warned, but if you did make it to the end, here, have a sweet 🍬 You are clearly just as dedicated a Valzhang stan as I am (It is currently 00:54am where I live)

I will probably have a lot more Thoughts and Feelings coming your way soon, so don’t think for a second that I’ve got it all out of my system. I still haven’t finished the series yet, and I know that as soon as I post this I’ll think of something else that I should’ve added, but I hope this was enough for now.

(Also, I’m British, so I’d use a £20 (“twenty pound”) Note, in case you were curious.)

Again, thank you so much annon for the Ask- as you can see, I LOVE VALZHANG.

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