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elyvorg · 3 years

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So… I was talking about aspec V3 headcanons? Well then, let me lay down the facts.

Maki Harukawa is on the aromantic spectrum. Yes, even though she explicitly develops a crush on Kaito, and no, I’m not trying to dispute that part.

This is basically canon. Let me tell you why.

Maki is aro

For this, we need to consider the conversation Maki has with Shuichi in the first training session in chapter 4, while Kaito has temporarily disappeared to the bathroom. On one level, this conversation exists to be the only actual meaningful indication* that Maki has romantic feelings for Kaito until she goes and confesses them. Someone like Maki wouldn’t care about asking Shuichi if he “liked” Kaede (in that annoying loaded meaning of the word “like” that specifically refers to romantic attraction) unless she was trying to come to terms with the idea that she also “likes” someone else in the same way, and the only plausible candidate for that is Kaito.

But even more striking about this conversation, far more so than the general implication that Maki would only bother asking this if she happened to be crushing on a certain spiky-haired space dork, is the way Maki approaches and thinks about this whole topic in general. Take a look:

Maki: “Well… I assumed you didn’t, because that would be weird. […] Liking someone you just met… especially in a situation like this…”

Shuichi: “… Then tell me… under what circumstances is liking someone *not* weird?”

Maki: “…Huh? I… don’t know. I don’t… really understand what that is.”

I, as an aromantic person myself, fully agree with Maki that it just seems weird to start romantically liking someone you’ve only just met, especially in a life-or-death situation where surely there’s way more important things to be focusing on. But apparently, most people do not find this thought weird at all – love at first sight is supposedly a real thing that can happen, and something something dangerous situations can bring out more hormones and passion???? sounds fake but okay – and so opinions like mine and Maki’s here are very much outliers.

And not only that, not only does the thought of crushing on near-strangers bewilder Maki to the point of disbelief, but she also can’t even come up with an answer to when crushing on someone would ever not be strange and bizarre. Like the whole concept is just alien to her. She can barely even wrap her head around how “liking” someone in that way even works. The very reason she’s even asking Shuichi about this is because she doesn’t understand why she’s feeling this way about Kaito.

This is how an aromantic person would view this kind of thing. It doesn’t sound even slightly like something an alloromantic person would say in this situation. That’s not up for interpretation – that’s just the truth about these views that Maki is expressing. Again: I’m aromantic. I would know.

Even from a character who then does turn out to nonetheless have a crush on someone, these statements are pretty much as canonically confirmed arospec as you can get short of them straight up using the word "aromantic" or a variant.** And, well, obviously Maki isn't about to go calling herself that. From the way she’s questioning this, she clearly doesn’t realise that her perspective is the outlier, so she’s probably never even heard of the term. Besides, she most definitely has way bigger hurdles to be getting over first in terms of her self-acceptance before she's ever going to particularly care about figuring out labels for her orientation of all things.

Aros with trauma are still aros

Now, granted, I severely doubt that Maki being arospec is what the writers intended to convey. Haha, deliberate aro representation in mainstream Japanese media, especially something more complex than vanilla aro, that's a funny joke. What the writers probably meant by writing this conversation I just discussed is to suggest that Maki is viewing things this way a result of her trauma.

But hey, guess what? Even if it is because of her trauma - and I'm not denying that it probably is - that doesn't make Maki any less aro. Some people are arospec because of trauma, and that's equally as valid a reason to be arospec as without. Maybe Maki would have grown up alloromantic if she hadn't been scouted as an assassin, but that's irrelevant, because that's not the Maki who exists now.

In writing this conversation, the writers were presumably attempting to communicate that Maki is so messed up by having been manipulated and abused and moulded into a soulless killing machine that she can no longer comprehend the idea of how or why anybody (especially not herself) would fall in love with someone when they'd only just met, or even really in any circumstances at all. …And in doing that, the writers unintentionally wrote a character who, as a result of her trauma, is aro(-spec). This is an objective fact about the canon story that does not change just because the writers probably weren’t aware enough about aromanticism to actually realise this.

Aros who feel romantic attraction are still aros

So, of course, Maki does in fact come to romantically love Kaito despite this. That fact becomes very important to her, and me lengthily explaining here that she’s actually arospec is not remotely trying to diminish that. But it’s also very important to me that people realise that Maki’s romantic love for Kaito comes from an aromantic perspective. She eventually chooses to embrace those feelings not remotely because it just feels to her like the natural way things should go, but despite every single conscious part of her insisting that this is weird and illogical and doesn’t make any goddamn sense to even be happening at all. She is not going to suddenly fall into all the boring romantic cliches and stereotypical alloromantic approaches to love just because she does in fact happen to be experiencing romantic attraction. There’s nothing alloromantic about Maki’s crush on Kaito.***

As for the specific flavour of arospec that allowed Maki to fall in love with Kaito anyway? This part is somewhat more up for interpretation because there’s no real explicit indication of this in particular, but I personally like to go with the idea that Maki is demiromantic. It feels appropriate for Maki’s character and trauma to imagine that she can only begin to potentially feel romantic things towards a person when she has an emotional connection with them – when she trusts them and knows that they trust her. It doesn’t necessarily have to take very long – she’d only been friends with Kaito for a handful of days before that telling conversation with Shuichi – and she may not even have to have consciously admitted to herself that she trusts them, but she needs to have that bond. She’s normally so guarded and has such strong automatic barriers up during her interpersonal interactions that seeing most people in a romantic light literally isn’t even an option in her brain.

Maki’s confession of her feelings for Kaito does read as rather strongly demiromantic, I think. She makes a point that this is about who Kaito is and what he’s done for her, before even getting to the part where she admits to having fallen for him. And she says she “fell for” him, not that she was always in love with him or anything to that effect. This happened somewhere along the way during their friendship, because of their friendship, and because of Kaito being his incredible trusting supportive self towards her when she needed it most.

Maki Harukawa is demiromantic, and she’s wonderful.

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[some grumpy Amatonormativity and Aro Erasure 101 footnotes, can you tell I am bitter about this kind of thing]

(* When I say “actual meaningful indication” of romantic feelings, I mean something that isn't just the narrative infuriatingly pointing at things that are actually perfectly platonic in nature and going “ooh look how romantic~!”. Newsflash: worrying about somebody and wanting to rescue them when they're sick and injured and have been kidnapped by someone you think is an evil sadistic mastermind is not somehow proof of romantic feelings. That is a thing that friends do. And on the same note, teaching somebody how to build a crossbow is not some kind of deep metaphor for romance; it is literally just a lesson in how to build a goddamn crossbow. Maki would have done both of these things in exactly the same way if her crush on Kaito didn’t exist.)

(** It's exactly like how characters can be considered canonically confirmed same-gender-attracted when all they've done is show attraction to the same gender****, without them actually needing to explicitly refer to themselves with the word “gay”, or “lesbian”, or “bi” or whatever else. Anyone who tried to insist that was necessary in order for it to “count” would instantly be written off as homophobic. So if that’s the case, then a character explicitly saying something such as “I don’t understand what it means to like someone that way” equally constitutes them being confirmed aro, and trying to argue that it doesn’t “count” without outright hearing the word itself is, guess what…?)

(*** This also inherently means that there’s nothing straight about Maki’s crush on Kaito either, since societally-expected “straight” attraction is allo as well as hetero. I gather that some people in this fandom like to devalue and erase Maki’s crush (and potentially also Maki herself) because they feel that it’s an Obligatory Forced Straight Romance and don’t like that, or something along those lines. Well, good news! It’s literally not that, actually, because Maki isn’t straight.)

(**** …This only applies so long as it actually is very clearly romantic or sexual attraction and not just people deciding platonic affection is totally romantic thanks to the disease that is amatonormativity. Because, you know. That happens. Literally all the time. (Even from V3’s narrative itself; see footnote 1.))

#danganronpa v3 #danganronpa v3 spoilers #maki harukawa #aspec headcanons #character analysis #ramble #amatonormativity #i've always been hesitant to bring this kind of thing up much because i didn't want to ruffle anyone's feathers #but you know what? screw it #i'm aroace and i hate amatonormativity and it's about time i started showing that more on this blog #and if anyone has a problem with that then actually that sounds like their problem and not mine #(with thanks to the previous post's anon for unintentionally spurring this out of me!)

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katnissmellarkkk · 3 years

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Alrightttt, I’m on a roll so we’re going onto chappy five 🥳🥳🥳😎😎

I know the movies made the Capitol — re: basically only Effie and maybe Caesar — have those ridiculous made up accents but .... I actually feel like the description of the Capitol accent in the book is supposed to be like the Kardashians or Paris Hilton’s voice. 🤷🏼‍♀️

“Why do these people speak in such a high pitch? Why do their jaws barely open when they talk? Why do the ends of their sentences go up as if they're asking a question? Odd vowels, clipped words, and always a hiss on the letter s. no wonder it's impossible not to mimic them.” Like this is a pretty good description of how Kim Kardashian and her sisters talk. And Suzzy C did say she was inspired by the juxtaposition between war news footage and ridiculous reality television shows so... I think my theory of the Capitol all talking like they’re on the Real Housewives of LA is pretty valid.

Just imagine Paris Hilton as Effie and Nicole Richie as one of her preps

Lolololol this whole section of waxing is reminding me to go get my legs waxed 😭😭😭 straight up calling me out here, Suzanne

I like how Katniss says her stylist “apparently has no interest in seeing her until the prep team has addressed obvious problems.” Like you can tell from her narration she was expecting to feel the same was about Cinna that she does about Effie and her prep team.

The “gritty loam that takes off dirt and three layers of skin” is probably just a strong exfoliator 😭😭😭 my girl knows nothing about quality skincare 🤧🤧 someone build a Panem Sephora

She mentioned them waxing her underarms.... girl, did you have hairy armpits before this? Idk why this revelation is new to me

“Grease her down!” Just sounds wrong 😅😅😅😅 I need to stop being annoying omg I’m like a twelve year old

Hmm it’s funny to me that Katniss refers to Octavia as plump. You’d think in a place like the Capitol body image and weight would be very important. Unless it’s like back in the old, old days when being overweight was a sign of wealth. Which would make more sense so this was an unnecessary thought process curtesy of Samantha

Katniss faking a smile and thanking her prep team shows she does know how to play the game and fake it better than she says.

So ... okay, hear me out, I’m not trying to get over the top or make this into something it’s not but ... the whole stylists / Cinna coming into the room and staring at her naked is a little weird. Especially considering Cinna isn’t Lenny Kravitz who’s like a bit older than her but actually like a twenty-something year old dude.

But okay, here’s the thing I was getting at ... Cinna’s one of the best people in this series and you can’t deny that. Even if you find him boring, he’s still one of Katniss’ closest people. Also he’s probably gay. But like ... what about the other stylists? I don’t wanna be that person who makes everything more than it is, but like, this scene just sounds like a perfect opportunity for some Capitol creep to assault a teenager idk I’m probably making a mountain out of a molehill just ignore Samantha okay.

That’s nice that he complimented her mama though 🥰🥰🥰

So Katniss calls District Twelve the least desirable district but ... doesn’t District Eleven suck too? Like she also later says District Twelve is the smallest and the poorest but doesn’t she also say Rue is worse off than her and Prim? Make up your mind, Suz.

Cinna claims he asked for District Twelve but did he really get an option? 😅 If it’s his first year and Katniss claims the newbies get them anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️ Samantha is once again, reading too much into this.

Awww, Katniss is thinking about how long it would take for her to assemble this fancy meal at home 🤧🤧🤧 it would take her days and the Capitol just has the necessary resources at their disposal and they just takes it for granted. And yes, I’m aware this is supposed to be calling all us readers out who take so much for granted I know. We’re the Capitol.

“How would I spend the hours I now commit to combing the woods for sustenance if it were so easy to come by?” It’s honestly so sad but so vital to her character that Katniss has zero hobbies or real free time. Her life is about surviving. She doesn’t get to live or enjoy very much of her time. She dedicates everything to keeping Prim — and her mother — alive, sacrificing everything a teenage girl should be doing. Sacrificing even the things the other girls in her world get to do. She mentions the merchant girls and the Seam girls who are more experienced romantically and sexually and socially than her. Because she doesn’t get to be a kid or innocent or even happy, in order to focus on her and her family’s survival. And the things she does enjoy, like spending time with Gale or dancing with Prim (mentioned in Mockingjay) she downplays in case they’re taken away, because nothing good is secure in her eyes. 🥺🥺🥺

Okay but what did Katniss’ facial expression give away that Cinna knew exactly what she was thinking? Or is she just less emotionless than she and Haymitch both claim? Ironically I think they’re the only people who call her emotionless which can easily be chalked up to their self-hate and terrible self-esteems.

Katniss is so afraid they’re gonna make her be naked for the parade 😭. Honestly though they’re children that’s so creepy that they’re even allowed to make 15/16/17 year olds be naked in a parade. I mean I know they kill kids every year but isn’t there like child pornography laws in Panem? 😭

“You’re not afraid of fire, are you, Katniss?” Is so foreshadowing 😭😂😅😎 Caesar Flickerman’s voice “Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!”

Honestly though Cinna is smart to make Katniss recognizable in the arena by leaving her with simple makeup. I know and the sky is blue we all know this already beating the dead horses until the farmer comes home.

“It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.” It’s true though 😅😅😅😭😭 he was always a rebel. I actually think he may have asked for District Twelve after Katniss volunteered, because he saw the potential in her. Poor Peeta. Baby, I’m rooting you for even if no one else is.

Also I always found it a bit .... curious? That Peeta had a female stylist and Katniss had a male one? Not just because of the required nudity, you’d just think men would do better as a boy’s stylist and a woman would make a better girl’s stylist. So yes, my whole Cinna was interested in District Twelve because Katniss seemed like a good symbol for a rebellion idea seems very plausible.

I know I know I know I read wayyy too much into this stuff sometimes a cigarette 🚬 is just a cigarette 🚬

Katniss being relieved when Peeta shows up 😭😭😭 because even if she won’t admit it and even if she won’t let herself trust him, she still sees him unconsciously and completely against her will as a comfort because they’re in this thing together in a way, even if they’re supposed to try and kill each other

And honestly, it’s such a like... relatable feeling? To feel alone and nervous and uptight and then someone who you recognize — even if you maybe aren’t even friends with but you at least know — shows up and you just instantly feel less alone. I’m totally looking at this through shipper goggles and I’m not even ashamed you all knew who’s blogging you were reading ight? 😂🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

“He should know about fire, being a baker's son and all.” And he’s gonna learn a lot more about it when he falls in love — for real, falls in love, not a childhood infatuation — with the girl on fire. 🥰🥰🥰

But also, I love this particular line on a reread because it totally is an indicator towards their future. Like Peeta knows about fire, he’s experienced with how to handle it, and later on, he becomes the only person who truly comes to understand Katniss, who represents fire, in a way that no one else could ever imagine.

Hmmm, Katniss’ point of view here, talking about how Portia and Peeta’s team seem all giddy and air-headed and it’s only Cinna who seems reserved makes me rethink my previous imaginings of Peeta’s stylist. Maybe she’s just a Capitolite idiot and nothing like Cinna. And my baby got a raw deal here then too. Good thing Haymitch loves him more. Just kidding 😅😅😅

But also I wanna know why Cinna is hesitant to accept congratulations for his and Portia’s idea? Wasn’t he at least lowkey excited about it when he pitched it a page ago?

Their horses are coal black 🐴 😅. I like that they went the whole nine yards with the theme. Nothing but the best for the kids on Death Row.

Aww Katniss asking Peeta what he thinks about being set on fire is so sweet and pure for some reason. I just find their commodore here cute ok

“I'll rip off your cape if you'll rip off mine” this is literally their first friend type of interaction and it’s so pure y’all leave me be I’m emotional for them

🙃 Also lowkey reminds me of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Everyone look away ok I’m sorry

Peeta’s shady/annoyed Haymitch comment and Katniss’ joke at his expense 🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂🥲🥲☺️🥲🥲 they’re bonding it’s so presh

“And suddenly we're both laughing.” I hope they laugh a lot together post-canon 🥲🥲🥲. If they can make the other laugh during their terrible circumstances, then they can make the other laugh anywhere. 🤧 Except in Thirteen because he’s hijacked and she’s certifiable and they’re both so used and abused and 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Okay I have to say, Suzanne Collins really builds up a lot for certain events and then just like grazes over the actual action of said event? Like she builds towards the tribute parade but then kind of rushes through off the actual event itself? It’s a common theme in her writing. And I don’t like it at all ngl.

Oh wait she doesn’t actually rush the parade events the paragraph before just looked like she was about to I jumped the gun 🤣😂🤭 but what I said is still completely true for many events in these books sorry not sorry

I’m definitely reading too much into it but the fact that District One — the favorite of the Capitol — gets snow white horses and District Twelve gets coal black horsies kind of ... seems to imply something .... 🤭

Cinna just lets out a sigh of relief “it worked” like ... way to fill your tributes with hope, dude. “Yeah, you’re totally safe, don’t be scared-OH THANK GOD THAT WORKED I wasn’t actually sure you wouldn’t blow up.” But actually this answers my previous inquiry about why he seemed hesitant I guess he wasn’t even sure this wouldn’t burn them up that’s nice 🤭🙃

It’s a literal trial by fire *cue drum hit* 🥁 aww, I just cracked myself up 😭

“Then he gently tucks a hand under my chin. "Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you!" This is caught halfway between being very Capitol-y and very father-brotherly and idk which way to take it but it’s kind of cute 🤭

“For the first time, I look at him and realize that ablaze with the fake flames, he is dazzling.” This is such a significant line because Katniss isn’t saying Peeta is technically good looking (like when Haymitch said they were decently attractive) or someone else thinks he’s good looking (i.e Gale, her mother and lowkey Finnick) but she’s saying she herself thinks he’s attractive. Girl, your crush is showing.

"I think he said for us to hold hands," says Peeta.” I’m sure Cinna actually did say that but this just seems like a very good opportunity for Peeta to hold the hand of the girl he has a massive crush on. 😭😭😭

Okay Cinna gave a thumbs up so he actually was saying that but can you imagine Peeta’s excitement right now?

I mean, yeahhhh, there’s the certain death looming over him too but like live in the moment, babe. 🥰😘🤗👌🏻

I like that Katniss says the crowd is at first like 😳😳😳 before they start cheering like they’re thinking “what are these backwoods, hillbilly kids doing this year?”

“At first, I'm frozen, but then I catch sight of us on a large television screen and am floored by how breathtaking we look. In the deepening twilight, the firelight illuminates our faces” okay they both have to be pretty naturally attractive people objectively, because you illuminate my face without much makeup and no one is gonna be cheering.

“Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you! I hear Cinna's voice in my head. I lift my chin a bit higher, put on my most winning smile, and wave with my free hand.” I wonder what the true difference is for Katniss between Cinna and Effie saying this to her? Maybe it’s that Effie is just outright mean to her sometimes whereas Cinna shows her nothing but kindness from the start and expresses sympathy and understanding? It’s probably that he’s already earning her trust versus Effie who’s just cruel I’m not over her comments on the train ok

“I'm glad now I have Peeta to clutch for balance, he is so steady, solid as a rock.” Right from the start, Katniss refers to Peeta as solid and steady. Idk, I feel like this is something that the movies really misses along the way. Katniss wasn’t always strong or confident at all and Peeta, at least publicly, exuded those qualities pretty well. Samantha’s complaining again ™️ 💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Also this is just outright foreshadowing how Peeta will eventually become her rock. Or that he will be soon painted a rock ... pick and choose which way you wanna go with this. 🤷🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️😅🤣

“As I gain confidence, I actually blow a few kisses to the crowd.” Okay, see I feel like Peeta really gives Katniss confidence in herself. If he’d been there in District Thirteen and they’d done propos together, she probably would have been a thousand times better.

But also this makes me think Katniss actually has it in her to be a charismatic, confident, alluring celebrity. She just chooses not to. 🤗🤗🤗

But this also reminds me of “She has no idea the effect she can have” okay imma move on and stop focusing on every little detail

I say that every chapter 🤧😅

“The pounding music, the cheers, the admiration work their way into my blood, and I can't suppress my excitement.” Say whatever you want, Katniss is still such a girl underneath it all. She gets excited over people liking her and cheering her on. And I know it’s because it increases her chances of getting sponsors but still

Honestly Peeta trying to showcase Katniss and let her take the spotlight is so selfless and indicative of his ultimate plan to help her win but also ... I can see how Katniss would believe it’s too good to be true and he’s messing with her. That he’s just playing the game to earn her trust, get her guard down and manipulate her later.

See, Peeta is actually framed at the start like the typical, standard YA love interest turned villain. In majority of YA books, at this point the boy is kind and sweet and helpful to the girl until she trusts him completely and then he turns on her and uses everything she gave him to destroy her. But the difference is, Katniss refuses to truly trust him and she is guessing his game incorrectly at every step. And then it’s revealed that it was never a game and he truly isn’t messing with her and everything he’s done that’s seem too good to be true and not even remotely plausible has actually been genuine and heartfelt and that, my friends, is why Peeta is above all other YA love interests. Because Everlark is actually the foil to many of the cliches. That was a long speech over some incoherent thoughts I’m so sorry if you suffered through that.

“It's not until we enter the City Circle that I realize I must have completely stopped the circulation in Peeta's hand. That's how tightly I've been holding it.” Awww he is her rock 😭🤧🥺

"No, don't let go of me," he says. The firelight flickers off his blue eyes. "Please. I might fall out of this thing." Okay this part is so cute and so blatantly setting Peeta up as her main love interest omg 😅 this isn’t the least bit subtle or disguised. But first off, the fact that Katniss is also Peeta’s stability here too 😭😭😭 and second of all, she takes time to notice his blue eyes against the firelight? She was attracted to him from the very start, y’all. That’s indisputable. 👌🏻😎🤧

“It's not really fair to present us as a team and then lock us into the arena to kill each other.” I agree with you, baby, it’s not fair at all. But you two take care of that situation nicely. Or not. Y’all do start a dang war. 🤭🤭🙃🙃

It’s rather ... ironic that it’s District Twelve’s chariot of them all that is pulled up and stopped directly in front of President Snow’s mansion. I know it’s a book, certain details like this are definitively contrived, I know get over it. 🤦🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

So uh. Snow is a small thin man? Why do I suddenly imagine Danny Devito as Snow 😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣 y’all know he’d kill the role

“The darker it becomes, the more difficult it is to take your eyes off our flickering.” Okay, this is such a great line and it’s so significant to the rest of the series? The fact that Katniss — and Peeta, let’s not forget our boy — became symbols of the revolution. Like this line is deep if you think about it. The worse things in Panem got, the more the civilians looked towards Katniss and Peeta for hope 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰

Omg now after Songbirds and Snakes, we know the national anthem. I’m sorry, babies, that you have to endure that I’ll get you out of there 🙉🙉🙉

I feel like in part, the Capitol camera crew — Cressida, Pollux .... Pollux’s brother... is that you here???? — put so much attention on District Twelve because it would create some resentment and competition between them and the careers 🤭🤗

“I notice a lot of the other tributes are shooting us dirty looks, which confirms what I've suspected, we've literally outshone them all.” Insert Gretchen Wieners “I can’t help that I’m popular!” 😅😅😅😅😅

“I realize I'm still glued to Peeta and force my stiff fingers to open. We both massage our hands.” — they were hanging on so tight 😭😭😭😭

“Thanks for keeping hold of me.” He’s so sweet ☺️☺️☺️ I love him even if he’s kind of an idiot sometimes but so is Katniss so let’s not point fingers

“I'm sure they didn't notice anything but you. [...] And then he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness” Omg I know Katniss views this as him trying to manipulate her but the fact that he’s actually just admitting the way he’s felt for years is so 😭😭😭😭 if only you’d spit it out sooner, Bready

“he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.” She literally has a crush on her fellow tribute and her first line of defense is to decide he out to get her for making her feel this way 🤣😭🙃

“The more likable he is, the more deadly he is.” The more my crush grows, the more deadly he becomes. I know I’m reading this with shipper goggles but guess what? I’m unashamed. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ who feels guilty for reading this book with an Everlark bias not this girl right here 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

“I stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek. Right on his bruise.” Okay first off, she says cheek here but according to a chapter ago, she claimed the mark was on his jaw... so in other words, she’s incredibly short. If a medium height guy has a bruise on his jaw and she has to stand on her tip toe to reach it... well... hashtag LittleKatniss

And second off.... can you even imagine how Peeta must feel. He genuinely complimented her here, the girl he has had a crush on forever, and she responds by kissing his cheek. He was probably really happy at this moment. And also this probably played further into his buying into her false display in the arena. That here we have her clutching his hand, smiling and laughing with him and kissing his cheek. Idk what I was trying to say necessarily but I made myself sad wow way to go me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧

Anyways! Those are my very over the top and too detailed thoughts! Hope you enjoyed if you read this! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳😎😎😎😎😎😎😎🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

#thgagain #once again the Jen gifs are still headlining these posts 🥳🥳🥳#this isn’t as funny as my others so I’m sorry y’all #but I like nice commentary on these posts makes me feel less alone so feel free

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raeisgrayte · 3 years

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Must Be Fa(e)te~ Chapter One

There was a fable my mother used to tell me all the time when I was a little girl. It was about a regal queen, a noble monarch who lead her people with pride, though I always thought the princess was my favorite character. She was a warrior who fought in the great war against the human realm. She was someone who stood up for what she thought was right, like fighting against the humans polluting the beautiful springs that the merfolk of Wellspring lived in. The best part about the princess though, was her rainbow wings. My mother told of how the princess only used them when absolutely necessary. She was more of a walking girl, she liked taking walks through the forest's abundant beauty. She was magical, too magical. That's how I knew my mom was making this up as she went.

I only wish it were true, then maybe I could actually blame a real life person for making me the homosexual I am today. Instead when people ask about my "awakening" I have to tell them I fell in love with a made-up fairy princess when I was 3. Usually they giggle and agree that they knew it at a young age too, but some want to know more about the story. I always tell them, it's a good story after all. It leaves my lips turned up in a smile afterwards, thinking about magic and gay shit.

God how I yearn for some excitement around this town. We all just walk around with somewhere to go. I never saw someone stop by to smell the roses unless they were with a loved one. I let out a large sigh, putting my left hand on the wooden counter in my grandfather's pop up flower shop, Love You Florever. It was a play on the word floral, but I think everyone I tell about the flower shop understands, I just want to make sure. There are the people who give me a strange look and then those who seem genuinely happy that my grandfather was such a punster. I miss him.

I hear the ding of the bell before I can go into one of those really sad moments where I start thinking about all the lovely memories I had with my grandad. I will not be having a sad montage in my head today! Not after what happened last time. I'm still stuck in my thoughts, trying to be funny, when I hear someone clear their throat. I cringe at how awkward I must look right now laughing at my own jokes, inside my head. "Ahaha, heyyyyyy, welcome to Love You Florever! Would you like to-" My brain short circuits when I finally meet the gaze of the goddess who has stepped foot into the shop. Oh lawdy I'm about to faint. She has beautiful almond brown eyes with a mole under her left eye. I'm drawn to the envious length of her lashes and how they brush gently against her cheeks as she blinks. She has short ebony hair that shimmers in the setting sunlight. Her lips curve up in a smile and she tilts her head curiously.

"Would I like to what?" She teases, a small laugh leaving her mouth. That's it, I give up. If there is a God I'm coming to visit you real soon. This girl was beautiful and her voice is so smooth I thought my brain was oozing out of my ears. I feel my face start to flush from embarrassment.

"Oh-um, sorry. I have trouble thinking sometimes." I laugh and scratch the back of my neck nervously.

"Like a medical thing?" She questions, her eyes flashing with concern like she had offended me. My eyes go wide and I shoot out my hand shaking it in a 'no' manor.

"No no no no, oh god no! You're fine, I mean like my brain just-" I hit my head softly to insinuate that I'm just a dumb gay bitch, "you know, doesn't work? Especially around pretty women- I mean," I drag my hand down my face. "Fuck." I whisper through gritted teeth. This makes her laugh loudly, so much that she wipes her eyes. She lays a hand down on the counter and grins at me.

"Thank you and I totally get the whole brain malfunction thing." She smirks as her eyes search my face. I feel like she's trying to indirectly tell me something. After an awkward amount of silence she bends her other hand at the wrist in the viral tik-tok "hey I'm gay" gesture. If this were a movie I'd look into the camera as everything pauses and I'd say oh my god, a gay.

I shake my head in understanding now. "Ah." I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a small chuckle. "I'm so sorry, um, would you like to buy anything?" I ask with a smile. I was running the store after all. I had to try to make some money. Her lips lift in a big smile and she suddenly looks nervous.

"Well, actually I came in here because you were the only flower I saw in here." First off, rude. She covers her face as a blush starts to form. Second of all, awww. I didn't really know what to say. I mean I could tell she was trying to hit on me, but her game was a little off. We'd just met and I don't know if she's a killer or something- oh who am I kidding?

"Oh really? That sounds about right to me." I smile as her face lights up.

"Oh gosh! I was so nervous but also confident that you weren't straight. I was so scared that I had misjudged you and there would be this whole thing-" Bo Burnham's Welcome to the Internet starts playing and I scramble to find my phone. I look at her apologetically as I finally find my phone buzzing in my back pocket. I see that it's my mom calling me, she knows I'm working the store today. I instantly answer it and turn away from the girl.

"Ello stinky, what are you doing calling me at work?" I ask in a posh British accent. I wait for my mom to reply, but all I hear is silence. Oh my goodness, did she butt dial me? "Mom? Are you there?" A whisper of anxiety drips into my stomach.

"Oralee, did you use my shampoo?" The sound of her voice calms the panic and I roll my eyes simultaneously. Funny how that works. Her shampoo?

"Are you talking about when I took a shower this morning? The strawberry stuff?" I question. I can almost hear my mother's annoyed groan.

"Yes the strawberry stuff, you know I'm going on a date tonight. My hair has to smell like strawberries! You know this." I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"I didn't know you were going on a date tonight. When did that happen? I thought you were done with men and no I didn't use your shampoo." I reply curtly. I hear some shuffling around in the background and then it clears.

"Listen you know I haven't been getting any-"

"Mom! Oh my god! Shut up shut up!" I yell into the phone. I shudder with disgust at the thought of my mom speaking like she was a teen again. I hear her laughing at my pain and I almost hang up. "I cannot believe you, what is wrong with you!?"

"Hey nothing is wrong with me okay? I'm just a bisexual mother who needs two or three people to comfort me in the ways of the b o d y." She whispers the last part and I feel my whole body want to shrivel up and die.

"I cannot believe you. You're a tyrant." I hiss.

"But you love me." She quips.

"Yeah, I do. Now I have to go mom, I have a customer." I smile as I turn around.

"Ooou! Tell me all about her when you get home! Love you!" She yells and before I can ask her how she knew it was a girl she hangs up. I finally look up but the girl that was there before is now gone. I close my eyes and groan. There's goes any hope at living a happy life with a beautiful wife and a dog. I flop down in my swivel chair and continue to watch all the people walk past my beautiful flowers. Everyone was too busy getting somewhere, but I knew one day they'd rush in through my doors wanting some romantic flowers. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. Yeah, that day will come.

+ + + + +

"Lee do you like this one?" My mother holds up a small red dress with a low v-neck. Her eyebrows wiggle and I can tell she really likes this one.

"Well, let's see it on." I grin as she giddily runs into her ensuite bathroom and shuts the door. I lay back on her bed wishing I had asked that girl to wait for me to finish my phone call. Oh well, I guess it wasn't meant to be. Like most situations with girls, it never ended well for me. There was that time I had a major crush on the barista that worked in the Starbucks across the street from the shop. I convinced myself she had to be gay with how many rings and piercings she had. Turns out that was just how she liked to express herself and I learned quickly that assuming makes an ass out of you and me. You should never place feelings or sexualities on someone you don't know. You shouldn't even do that to someone you do know. Such as myself, I don't like to label myself as bisexual or lesbian, I'm more off the grid I guess. I like men okay, but then some days I will literally vomit at the thought of the male touch. It changes with the breeze to be honest. I just enjoy people's company and if something happens then I guess it does. Though, it never has. My mom has told me the day will come when I want to go serious with someone, but I'm pretty sure she was drunk when she told me that. Honestly I wish I was drunk when she told me that because then I wouldn't have to think that I'm such a failure at this romance shit.

"So? What do we think?" Mom spins out of the bathroom and into the last bit of sunlight shining through her window. Wow, she looks absolutely gorgeous. I can't help but cover my mouth to hide the smile I have. The dress brushes at her knees and curves up her hips to support her larger than average chest.

"You look gross." I purse my lips and put on my best mean girl face on. She laughs and pushes my shoulder.

"Thanks Lee, I'll be heading out soon. Make sure you take care of Mirage, you know how she likes to let us know when we didn't feed her." I nod and watch as she goes to get ready for a night out. I didn't really care if she went out, I was used to being alone. In fact I appreciated some alone time here and there like everyone else. It was comforting to just be able to scream musical songs without the fear my mom would come join me.

"I'm going to head into my room!" I call into the bathroom. I hear her hum in acknowledgement so I turn on my heel and head towards her door. Mirage, our ragdoll cat purrs as she wraps her body around my legs, nearly tripping me. I grin and bend down to pet her. "Hey girl, you saying bye to mom too? She's going out to find some relief. She's been stressed lately for some reason, but we're going to behave and be nice to her. Right?" Mirage mews at me and I can tell there is nothing behind those eyes. She was just happy to be here. I chuckle and stroke her head. I decide to pick her up and take her with me into my room. I struggle to open my bedroom door with Mirage in my arms, but manage finally to swing open the door. I sigh as I smell the mango air freshener. I set Mirage down on my pink comforter that has a white swirling pattern. Mirage plops down with her muzzle burrowed under the blanket. I smile to myself, it's been a pretty nice Saturday.

I was about to sit down in my desk chair to chill and play some Minecraft, but I realize that I need to close my curtains or else I'm going to forget it all together and I know I'll curse myself in the morning if I don't do it now. I sigh and walk over to my two windows. The purple curtains flutter in the ac gracefully, almost like they're dancing. I grab hold of one of them ready to shut, but as I happen to look out of my window I start to notice someone in the middle of the road. A chill runs down my spin, it was creepy for someone to just be standing there. They could be waiting for someone I guess, but why in the middle of the road? There's a low feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I can't help the peak of curiosity I also feel. After all, my mother was about to go out, I want to make sure she'll be safe. It was a wonderful yet horrible thing that my curiosity would get the best of me every time. I'd so be the first one in a horror movie to just open a random door and get shanked. Anyway, that's not what we should be thinking about right now.

I pear out the glass to try and get a better look at this mystery person. I study their frame, noticing that their back is to me. I tilt my head to try and get a better look, but my eyes widen when I see what looks like them turning their head to look right at me. I audibly gasp as I stumble backwards and trip over the corner of my desk. I thud to the ground and curse under my breath. I rub my back where I hit it on my desk chair. What the fuck was that? I must be so tired I'm starting to see things. I sigh and then laugh at myself. Oralee Turner you cannot just manifest some person in the middle of the road looking right at you. Those are not good vibes. Plus you're not the main character girly, calm down. I mean sure you could be a main character if you put in a little effort but come on let's be real. You'd need to really work on the woe is me mentality. I brought out of my thoughts when I hear my mother's soothing voice behind me.

"Are you okay sweetie? I heard a noise." My mom appears in the doorway and I giggle at her frantic look. This makes her look even more worried. It's fine mom I didn't hit my head.

"Yeah I'm all good, I just need to go to bed I guess. I'm so tired I guess I forgot objects can trip me." I nod my head towards my desk. She clicks her tongue in empathy.

"Did you hurt yourself?" She leans into the room looking for any sign of injury. I shake my head slowly.

"I just bumped my back into the legs of my chair." I grimace as my back throbs.

"Oh hon, I can stay home and put some ice on that? I'll cancel my plans and we can watch a movie together." Her eyes frantically search my face for an answer.

"Mom I'm 18 years old, I think I can ice my own back, but thank you." I smile to try and calm her nerves. I want her to go out and have some fun. She deserved it. She sighs loudly and just when I think she's going to let it go there's a knock on our door. Mirage perks up and mom and I make eye contact. "Door to door service?" I smirk mischievously. I can tell she wants to say something more about our previous conversation, but another knock at the door calls her attention elsewhere.

"We'll talk more when I get home Lee." She turns to walk away but as if she has one last thing to say, she turns back. "Also, she seems like the kind of gal to walk me to her car and such. That's something you should want in someone. A lot of people don't do that now a days you just need to-"

"Mom, oh my gosh just go." I shake my head and try to shoo her away with a hand motion. She rolls her eyes but does as I suggest. I hear a distant voice and debate on meeting this mystery woman, but decide against it. I don't want to ruin the whole thing my mom probably has going. I also don't want this woman to think my mom is a- oh god- a milf. Before I can fold in on myself I hear a notification sound from my phone, which lays forgotten on my bed. "Hey Mirage would you mind growing a human hand to hand me my phone?" Mirage looks me in my eyes and as if directly telling me to fuck off, she hops off my bed and pads over to my closet. "Bitch." I grumble.

I heave myself off the ground with a grunt, only to flop myself down onto my bed. I somehow manage to grab my phone from under my leg. I wonder who would've texted me. I curiously unlock the phone and see a message from my best friend Tabitha.

Tabby: Hey! Let me know if you can make it to the party nerd!

I close my eyes and groan into my pillow. Social interactions in this day and age? No thank you. I'd rather go outside and touch some grass.

Buttface: I'm not sure if Phelo will let me :(

Tabby: You could just go anyway >:( Come on! I'll even drive you!

Buttface: I don't know Tabs, I just feel like it's going to be like last time all over again. You'll be the only one I know and you'll try to set me up with the one lesbian that'll be there. And before you say anything, no- I don't want to loose my virginty to some rando. That's not something cool I want to do.

Tabby: Oh come on that was one time and I said I was sorry :((( She won't even be here this time so you don't have to worry about spilling a drink on her again lol.

Buttface: I will kill you if you mention that once more :} Also fine, since you're a needy bitch I guess I'll stop in. When and where is it again?

Tabby: Don't worry about it, remember I said I'll pick you up! Just be ready around 6 tomorrow :)

Buttface: A Sunday night party? Really? We'll have school the next day.

Tabby: :)

God I wish she was the one with anxiety instead of me. I purse my lips as I remember how many things Tabitha has gotten me into. Like that one time she and I were walking in the park and someone yelled out that we were lesbians and she started to cry. I mean, who does that? Kind of scared me to be honest, I never want to walk with a girl anywhere ever again. Well, no that'd be a lie since women are goddesses and I am a simp.

It's then that I hear another buzz come from my phone. I almost don't look at it, I don't want Tabitha to have sent me something weird. When I look at my screen it's a message from an unknown number. I knit my brows together as I tap the message.

(xxx)xxx-xxxx: Hi, I hope this is Oralee Turner, if not that'd be awkward. You can just delete my message if you aren't her. If you are though, please respond with verification of your identity.

Verification? Who was this? How'd they get my number? This better not be another Tabitha set up. I swear one day I'm going to lock that girl in a room with some random guy I find on the street. I will actually not be doing that because men are scary, especially those who you don't know. I'm about to set my phone down and ignore this obvious scammer message, but for some very odd reason I text them back.

Oralee: Hi? This is she, I don't have your number saved in my phone. Who is this if you don't mind me asking? I don't feel comfortable sharing any information with a complete stranger :( Have to make sure you're not a scammer.

(xxx)xxx-xxxx: I understand completely! Of course you'd be cautious of an unknown number! Let me share some things that might make you a little more comfortable with who I am :) My name is Zandra Dominika and I'm 19 years old. I have your number because of your mother, Phelo Turner! I promise I'm not trying to scam you lol, just reaching out to see how your doing!

I think once I know someone is a female I instantly feel safer. It's... not the best feeling to acknowledge that, but then again it's good to still be aware of your surroundings. This person could still try to hurt me, plus they know my mom's name! That's absolutely fucked. I can't trust them right now. Why would I give them any personal information when they are most likely lying to me right now? Though the name Zandra did sound weirdly familiar. Like I knew it from a distant memory or something. Maybe I had seen it in my mom's memory book? I'd have to go check that out later.

(xxx)xxx-xxxx: I know you're probably taking so much time because you still think I'm a scammer, which is good! It shows that you're careful and smart! I'm glad you're not willing to send birthdates and shit to some rando. I'm not sure how I could prove to you that I'm not a scammer. I also know that I most likely scared you off with how I knew your mom. I could explain that if you'd be willing to listen?

Listen? I mean... I could do that, but no! This could be a ploy to get more information from my phone...or... they could be telling the truth. Damn it! I frown to myself, moving my thumbs to make the number a contact.

Oralee: It seems you know a lot about how I'm feeling and already have some information about me. I think this is all the recognition you need, but my curiosity does always get the best of me. Go ahead, tell me how you know my mother's name and how you got my number.

Zandra the randa: Okay... well I just knew how I would feel if someone randomly messaged me asking all these questions and knowing all these things lol. Anyways, I know your mom because she simply knows my mother. They go way back, like further than you're probably thinking right now. We've actually met before but I think you forgot lmao. We were really close actually, we didn't want to leave each other's side. Your mom is still in contact with mine so obviously I was curious how you were and asked for your number. I do think this is Oralee now so no recognition is needed anymore. I... uh... missed you a lot. It's lonely here.

I have to set my phone down for a second. What? I have a long lost friend? I really didn't see that one coming. I usually wasn't the one for making friends. I guess that gives me some explanation as to why I thought her name was so familiar. I'm going to ask mom to help me find that memory book when she gets home. That brings me back to what Zandra had last said. It's lonely here. What did she mean by that? Did she not live in our state? I wonder where she lives, maybe Montana? I'm going to ask her.

Oralee: So we used to know each other... I'm sorry I don't remember that at all honestly, but when my mom gets home I'm going to try and find some pictures if we have any. Maybe that'll help strike a cord in my brain. I do have a question though, where do you live? You make it sound like we're really far away :(

I straighten myself out on my bed, waiting patiently for a response, but one never seems to come. I wait for a good 10 minutes before deciding to do something other than just waiting. It wasn't healthy to get attached so quickly. I bite my lip. I wonder what she looks like. No, Lee there's no time to be gay now. Mom will be home soon and then you can look in the memory book.

I hope she's hot. You know, there are some days I wish I could just shut my thoughts off, especially the horny ones. She's got to at least be into DND, you know? If she can't enjoy be chaotic while being a mythical creature, I don't want it. DND was a way I could believe in small amounts that fairies are real. I smirk to myself as I think about all the times I tried to seduce something in our campaign.

"Lee? Are you awake? Honey I'm coming up!" I feel my body jolt from the sudden rush of adrenalin. Jesus, I guess my mom is home now. I didn't even hear the door open or a car pull up.

"Yeah I'm awake mom! I'll meet you in the hall." I hoist myself off the bed and shake my head. Shit, I didn't even know what time it was. It's nearly midnight and I have a shift tomorrow at the shop. I'm so fucked. I walk to my door and open it swiftly. I'm met with my mother leaned up against the wall across from it. She smiles sweetly at me, her eyes sparkling with delight.

"I missed you Lee." She holds her arms open for a hug and I instantly accept it.

"You too stinky. I hope you had a good night." I enjoy the smell of my mother, how it calms down my senses. It makes me want to cuddle with her all night watching movies, almost like what she suggested earlier. Shit! I never iced my back! That's going to hurt in the morning!

"Oh I did, it was long." I feel my body tense and I back away from her. My face scrunches up in disgust.

"Mom! God I don't want to hear about your night in that much detail!" I plug my ears like a child and shake my head vigorously.

"Meh, your loss." She shrugs and I can tell she wants to go to sleep. Her eyes are half lidded and she looks very loopy.

"If you're done, I do have a question. Where is that memory book you made when I was little? I got a text tonight from someone named Zandra Dominika. Do you know her?" I question, motioning towards her. She seems to suddenly wake up. Her eyes widen slightly as she processes what I just told her.

"Did you say Zandra finally reached out to you? Well thank fucking god, took her long enough. She's had your number for like 4 years. I thought ya'll would start where you left off, but I can see by your vacant expression that you don't know what I'm talking about." She smiles with a small chuckle. "Well, how about we talk about it tomorrow night okay? You and I can have some finger foods and maybe even some drinks. Talk for a while. I'll explain things to you clearly." She grins and gestures to my room. "Now, what do you say we get some sleep?" She nods and shuffles towards her room.

Well...how am I going to be two places at once? Do I want to go to a party or sit and veg out with my mom. Definitely the latter, but I have to go to the party, I promised Tabs. I'm just going to have to make both work!

+ + + + +

It was Sunday afternoon before I could think of an excuse to miss Tabitha's party. Ugh, why'd she have to be such a good friend. Yeah she's made plenty of mistakes in our friendship, but so have I. I've known her forever, I can't just let her down by telling her I'd come to her party and then not going. I know it shouldn't matter, but I just don't want to deal with her mad at me on top of trying to figure out who the hell Zandra was. My mom seemed to like her enough I guess, but was that just a mom thing? Was I really close to this girl or is my mom trying to get me a girlfriend? I purse my lips as I give that a little more thought. Nah, my mom isn't the type to do that, she's not that desperate to please her gay daughter. She knows relationships, especially those of the gay variety have to take time. They have to happen naturally, not by some silly match making friend. It makes both parties feel very uncomfortable.

"Miss? I'd like to buy those now." I hear someone say. It was a guy about my age who looked pretty nervous. He had that all time popular floofy hair and had sun kissed skin. His eyes were an emerald green, like how you'd see algae in a pond. His face looks like someone took brown paint and scattered freckles all over it. I smile in my customer satisfaction smile.

"Of course! Sorry I was just lost in thought about something going on." I laugh lightly to try and make this situation less awkward.

"Yeah I totally get it! I'm not sure what flowers she'll like, so I'm sort of freaking out about it." He looks up to meet my gaze, his emerald eyes lighting up. "Hey do you think a mysterious type of girl who doesn't really like flowers would like these?" He holds up black nemophilas. I smirk to myself. Did he really have to pick such a literal meaning for a flower? I think this guy is way over his head. He shouldn't be buying flowers for this girl, he should be taking her to watch the stars. She seems like the kind of girl to like that.

"Well, those flowers have a secret meaning, you wanna know what it is?" I raise my brows like I'm about to whisk this guy into a crazy story about how these flowers got their name. He nods his head frantically. "Those are black Nemophilas, they usually are small beautiful flowers, but can bloom in all white, pink, white with some purple, or like what you have there. They're called black Nemophilas but they actually look purple with white around the edges of the petals right? Although it's cooler to think that they bloomed black. They're mostly grown as a houseplant because of their resistance to freezing temperatures." I grin widely. I get so happy talking about flowers. I meet his eyes again and he looks extremely happy.

"Shit. Thank you so much. I'm sure she'll love these." He smiles kindly and for the first time in a while, I see him lift the buds to his nose. He takes a small whiff in and a grin spreads across his face. "It smells like sweat." He laughs.

"I-uh... yeah, they're not known for smelling too nice." I stumble over my words, still shocked that someone actually stopped to smell a flower in my shop. They were always too busy buying the flowers to care about what they smelled like. It seemed like the first time someone had cared enough to take time out of their day to smell the flowers. Instead of picking up the prettiest rose and whisking it away without a second glance my way.

I gulp in, not knowing why him smelling a flower got to me so much. "Uh, yeah if you'll just set them down here I'll get them prepared for you to take." I nod curtly and whisk around to the preparation counter. It has scissors, shears, a spray bottle, and some other gardening things. Get it together Lee.

"Thanks so much for this by the way. Pretty sure she's going to fall in love with me because of the sweaty flowers. My name is Elijah, I think we go to school together." I feel my back tense. Great, he goes to my school.

"Yeah?" I say over my shoulder. "What grade are you in?" I ask. Lee why are you continuing the conversation? You don't even like to talk to your cat most of the time.

"I'm a junior, struggling in Mrs. Groution's English class." I can almost hear the smile in his voice. "You're a senior right?" He prods. Dear lord he has seen me around school.

"Yup!" I reply politely. "I'm just ready to get out of here and graduate you know? I have the case of senioritis bad." What I said was honest. I didn't like my high school. It was filled with fake kids and even more fake adults. We had a "zero tolerance" for bullying, yet some of my friends can tell me stories they've heard that says otherwise. It was just an overall distaste for the whole putting on looks situation. A school wasn't supposed to use kids like that, I absolutely hated it. His voice takes me out of thought and back to the situation at hand. I was having an interaction, I needed to focus on that, no matter how much I wanted to hide from it. There were days like this, the ones where I didn't want to be around people at all, but other days it's better to be around them so I can thrive off of some energy people give off.

"You seem a bit lost in though, I'm sorry I can just get out of your hair." He laughs, but I can tell he's a little hurt by the fact I'm so lost in thought. I feel bad even though I barely know the guy.

"Nah, I'm just a deep thinker you know? I get lost in thought very easily. I'm not the best in social situations face to face." I turn to give him a genuine smile. I see his eyes light up again. Good, he feels better.

"Oh no I totally get how that feels. I hate how our school does this whole," he instantly puts on a fake posh accent, "We have the smartest and happiest kids." He lets out a chuckle afterwards. "Little do they know that half of us are depressed and the other half are too busy peaking in high school to be bothered by their sadness." I turn to look him in the eyes, mine growing wider by the second. We make eye contact and then suddenly burst into laughter. My word, he does get it. Shame on me for assuming Elijah and I would have nothing in common. After a bit I can finally breathe again from laughing so hard. I wipe my eyes still giggling lightly.

"Here are your flowers Elijah, good luck." I smile as he graciously takes the flowers and waves enthusiastically to me as he leaves. The smile stayed on my lips for the rest of my work day. Then it was time for me to get ready for Tabitha's party. Joy to the world.

+ + + + +

I ended up wearing something comfortable over cute. If anyone had issue with it, I'd just tell them to fuck off. Well, not actually, I'd just think it. I was in some black sweats with a stretchy maroon shirt. I slipped my off brand crocs I got from a farmers market with my mom a couple years ago and a cute anklet. I pull my hair up in a pony to keep it mostly out of my face. I had normal blonde hair that was naturally pretty curly, but I had a Great Aunt who would give me perms every once in a while. Noting this, I pull some curly strands to frame my face so it didn't look so round. I put on a dangly bracelet and my chain necklace. I'm overall happy with my look, but I'm sure Tabitha will have something to say about it. I decide to put on some gold rings to match the chain in hopes that they'll suffice for her.

I stuff my phone and some earbuds in my pocket and then grab a few dollars out of my wallet. I could need some cash for food later, not sure. I do a once over of myself in the mirror and pat my pudgy stomach. "Oh yeah Oralee Turner you are looking sexy tonight." I give myself finger guns in the mirror and head out my door, grinning to myself like an idiot. I hop down the stairs and towards the front door. Mom hadn't come home yet from errands so I write her a quick note to let her know I'll be back a little later than midnight, seeing as it was getting close to 6 already. Speaking of the time, where the hell is Tabitha? She said was going to pick me up right? I cram my hand into my pocket to find my phone. I unlock it only to find Tabitha had texted me a couple minutes earlier.

Tabby: Hey, I can't pick you up tonight! :( I have to meet up with someone pretty soon so you're going to have to drive yourself!! Sorry babes!

I groan and turn my phone off. This was a great start to the night, because not only did I not like driving, but I was definitely not okay with my car going to a party. I angrily grab my keys from the bowl in the halltree and rush out to my car. I want to be one of the firsts ones there so I can find a good place to sit and an escape route. I start my small car and am met with my comfort station of old rock songs. Okay, maybe this wouldn't be so bad. I pull out of the driveway and roll my window down. The fresh nigh air whips the tendrils of hair I pulled out around my face, it's slightly annoying, but I like the fresh air. It smells like rain and it was such a cool night. It's about a couple minutes into driving when I realize Tabitha didn't tell me where this party was being held. Damn it why am I still even trying to go to this thing? It's like I felt some kind of pull to go and I hated that Tabitha could just pull on my heart strings like that. I pull over into an abandoned parking lot and pull out my phone.

Buttface: where the fuck is this party again?

The reply is almost instant.

Tabby: Ah, it's at this jock's house. 1987 Elmore North, I think his name is Elijah, come on get here girl!!

My eyes widen and a grin spreads across my lips. You sneaky son of a bitch. Did Elijah buy those flowers for Tabs? Maybe this is why I felt such a pull to go to the party. I can get to know Elijah more and if he's that cool then maybe the people he invited are pretty cool too. I feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my shoulders as I set my phone down in one of the cup holders. His house was a short drive from where I was now, it would only take me about 2 minutes to get there and his neighborhood is rather large, meaning big houses, meaning there's bound to be a dog to pet. Count me truly ready to party now.

I make it to his house and hop out of my car. I feel lucky that not a lot of cars are there yet and that I can see Tabitha's. Should I have brought something? No, I did help him pick out those flowers. I subconsciously put my hands in my pockets, walking up to the backyard gate which is open. There are outside lights set up and small campfire flickering in a stone firepit. There's a deck with a grill and below ground pool near the fence line of the property. It's a pretty nice backyard, but I only see a couple people out here and none of them are anyone I know. I hurry up and spot the glass sliding door to the inside. Of course it's a glass sliding door. I clumsily wander over to the door and slide it open. I'm hit with warm air and a yelling voice coming from deeper in the house. I glance back to the group outside which consists of 2 boys and 3 girls all chatting about an English assignment. I definitely don't want to try to join in on their conversation so I step inside and shut the door from behind me.

"I thought we had something Tabby!" I hear a familiar voice yell.

"Well you don't know shit! And don't call me that! I should have never come here! Damn it!" Once I hear my friend's name I'm on my way to find her, when I do find her, I find Elijah with her. Tabitha has the flowers clutched in her hands, breaking the stems. Elijah breaks his angry stare from Tabitha when he spots me. He looks almost shocked to see me, but his demeanor changes when he puts it together that I'm not here to be on his side. "What took you so long Lee? I was waiting for you!" Tabitha stares at me with pleading eyes, her grip on the flowers hardening, I can tell by the way they droop even lower to the ground.

"I-I had to drive myself and I didn't know where I w-was going at first." I look between the two of them. "What's going on?" I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have come here. Why did I come here? I take a few steps backwards.

"This fucker thought flowers where his way into my pants." Tabitha hisses and tosses the flowers to the ground. I wince. I get that she was upset, but the flowers didn't do anything. They had a nice life after all, I cut and prepared them. Someone actually stopped to smell them. I got to share facts about them! I never get to do that! "Well fuck that." Before I can think she stomps the flowers into the hardwood floor. Her boot cuts into their stems and when she's done it's a mess of petals and leaves.

"I wasn't trying to get into your pants!" Elijah finally shouts. "I actually just wanted to be a gentleman because so many fucking guys out here are disgusting!" I can tell he's upset about her stepping on the flowers and her words by the way his voice wobbles and his eyes flit between the crumpled petals. I'm upset now too. I can't really tell why I'm so upset but I meet Tabitha's eyes with tears in my own. My brows are drawn into an angry expression as I glance down at the mess by her feet.

"I-they-you- those flowers had no part in this... why'd you do that? You know how I feel about flowers Tabs. They have lives too." I meet her gaze again. I want her to apologize but all she does is roll her eyes.

"They're not alive Lee, don't be such a pansy. For fuck's sake can we focus on my problems here?" She hisses. A chill runs through my body. I can feel my blood boil and freeze almost simultaneously. Elijah stares at her in disbelief.

"Fuck you." I hiss and squeeze my eyes shut. The tears finally break over the barrier and fall down my cheeks. I rush out the way I came, a sick feeling settling in the pit of my stomach.

She knows how I feel about them! She knows how much they meant to my grandad. How much shit he had to go through to keep the shop going. He raised me, teaching me about the different effects flowers could have. Flowers were a language not spoken by many.

"Lee! Lee wait I'm sorry! I was angry! Lee-" I run. I run until I'm outside and shutting the door. Why'd I come here? Why'd I do it? God I was so stupid? Stupid. That's me. No no no no, fuck! I ball my fists and wipe at my face. I realize the group outside is looking my way and I curse under my breath. I turn on my heel and fast walk the fuck out of there. I try to make the tears stop falling, but they keep streaming down my face.

"Fuck, fuck, shit." I curse, then suddenly I knock shoulders with someone who grunts because of the impact. I stop in my tracks, I may be upset but my mother taught me manners. "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" I finally look up to see who I bumped into. A tall girl about my age stands in front of me. She has pink hair tied into space buns and heart shaped glasses on. Her earrings are also in the shape of hearts as well as the choker she's wearing. She has high-waisted jeans on with a flowy blouse to match. She was absolutely stunning. She even had a beauty mark under her eye that stood out in the moonlight.

"It's okay," She pauses as she gets a better look at me. "A-are you okay?" Her brows instantly knit in concern. Shit, has she noticed I'm not mentally stable already?

"I-uh... yeah I'm fine." I decide to answer. "I... I'm actually going." I sigh. She purses her lips and then frowns.

"That's too bad, you seemed cool. I was hoping to talk some more." She grins. I nod in agreement.

"I am pretty cool, but I should really get going." I jab my thumb towards where my car is.

"Lee?" I whisk around to see Tabitha at the gate.

"Shit." I hiss. "See ya, I gotta go!" I yell and practically Olympic sprint to my car. I unlock my car as fast as I can and hop in. I turn the key and start to back out when I see Tabitha waving wildly in front of me. Yeah, I'm never going to another one of her 'fun' parties. I shake my head and wipe at my face. Pansy? I tense as I speed towards home. Never again.

I get home around 8:45pm and to my surprise my mom is home. I pull in behind her car and put mine in park. I don't think this night can get any worse. I get out of my car, lock it, spin my keys around my fingers a couple times, and then head towards my front door. Before I can open it, it's opened for me. "Evening sweetie, what brings you home so early?" My mother stands in the doorway with a frown on her face. I sigh and lightly push past her into the house.

"Oh you know, just too cool for the party life." I give her a fake smile and she clicks her tongue.

"That bad?" She questions. I nod and flop down on the couch. It's then that I notice the memory book on the coffee table. Her eyes light up. "Oh yes! Miss Zandra, you wanted to see a picture of her right? Now, since you're home so early we're going to have lots of time to look at pictures and discuss, but I need you to have an open mind." She gives me a stern look. I roll my eyes.

"Mom, I'm a gay teen, I have to keep an open mind at all times." I fire back. She pauses for a moment then nods her head in agreement. She flops down next to me grabbing one of the books. I snuggle up next to her, loving her comforting scent.

"Ah here's a good one, it's of you guys when you were little." She flips the book for me to see the picture. It's little me with that appears to be strap on fairy wings on my back, same for who I'm assuming is Zandra.

"That's her?" I point to the other little girl. She nods and coos about how cute we look. Zandra has the same sparkly dress up wings on. I chuckle at how cheap they look. Mom flips a couple pages and gasps.

"Oh and here's a more recent picture of her!" She taps the page excitedly. My eyes widen as I scan the photo in front of me. Pink hair tied back in regal braids, a white dress with gold accents trailing up the bodice, her slender arms folded in front of her, and those same sparkling wings on her back, only about four times the size. I gasp as my eyes follow what seems to be a swirling pattern in them.

"I-is she into fantasy shoots or something?" I choke over my words. She was beautiful. It takes me a moment to finally notice the glimmering gold crown around her head. It has a hanging purple jewel dangling in the middle of her forehead. My eyes trail down her face and land on a beauty mark under her eye. If my eyes could widen any more I think they did at that moment.

"Um, well not exactly sweetie, there's been something I've needed to tell you for a while now."

Of course.

#lgbtq #comedy #fashion #fairytaleliving #gay #dance #Author #love story #original story #fairies #fantasy #funny #romance #gay teen #teen #flowers #simp #bisexaul #lesbian #queen #fairytale #fandom

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eldritchamy · 3 years

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I watched “Happiest Season” and no it fucking wasn’t.

Here’s a review so you don’t have to suffer like I did: if I wasn’t watching it as the host of a movie night, I would not have made it past 20-30 minutes in.

It was very uncomfortable to watch. I feel like I just spent two hours on a plane with a crying baby. Except the baby was a homophobic rich white Republican that I was forced to campaign for. All of the people I watched it with, including myself, found it stressful, anxiety inducing, and deeply unpleasant. The first thing I did when it was over was warn my best friend not to watch it.

90% of the movie is rich white straight people drama forcing lesbians into the closet. It’s not fun. It’s not happy. It wasn’t enjoyable. At all. Watching this was an uncompromisingly depressing and miserable experience.

It was marketed as a romantic comedy and it was neither of those things. I feel repressed for having seen it.

Every relationship in this movie is toxic and hard to watch, with the sole exception of two other characters who aren’t part of the family both having much better chemistry with Kristen Stewart’s character than her girlfriend.

Aubrey Plaza playing Gay Aubrey Plaza one of two redeeming things in the movie and she’s in it for about ten minutes, and even one of her scenes was hard for me to sit through (the awkward and dubiously written drag bar scene) The other 90 minutes are agonizingly drawn out and unbearable.

If you are determined to support this movie because god knows we need more (and MUCH better) representation and we live in a hellscape where money is the only way to ask for such things, press play on it and then take out your headphones and go read a book instead until it’s over.

For your own sake please do not watch this.

I genuinely can’t tell who it’s even FOR. If anything about this movie resonates with you, I am SORRY to hear that, because you are probably the lesbian daughter of a very rich white man running for office as a Republican, and watching any of the rich housewife reality shows probably gives you PTSD because those are the kind of people you grew up with.

And even IF that is the case, spare yourself the trauma of watching your own life and watch something else instead. This movie will only hurt you.

Nothing about the experience of seeing this was worth it.

Plot spoilers ahead.

The plot is as follows:

Abby (Kristen Stewart) loves her girlfriend Harper (Mackenzie Davis). But she does not love Christmas. After a night out together, Harper asks her to join her when she visits her family for the holidays. Abby says yes, and gets her gay male friend John (that guy from Schitt’s Creek) to cover pet sitting for her. While running a few errands with him, she goes to pick up an engagement ring which looks completely unattainable for a woman who makes a living as a pet sitter.

When they are almost to Harper’s family’s home, she awkwardly brings up that she lied about coming out to them earlier in the year. They still don’t know she’s gay and they have to make sure the family is perfect and scandal free because her dad is running for mayor or something and one of his donors? campaign manager? is going to be there. So they have to pretend Abby is her straight roommmate. They fight about it before Abby very reluctantly agrees. This is a pattern that repeats until Abby can’t take any more.

The family is like upper-class-Republican terrible. They are AWFUL people. The parents treat their children like trophies in a display case, and the children all feel forced into brutal competition with each other to see who the parents will actually be proud of. One of Harper’s sisters (Jane) is actually an okay person who does nothing wrong, but she’s an aspiring writer who has spent 10 years not finishing her book and she’s played like she belongs in a different movie, and it feels like she’s meant to be seen as the useless layabout sibling, in a cruelly funny way.

The other sister is a nightmare of a woman (Sloane? I think?) played by a completely unrecognizable Allison Brie. She’s a lawful evil cutthroat monster who is straight up VICIOUS to the other two, and is especially terrible to Harper, because neither of them even see Jane as competition. Her own family is the thing she uses to try to be worthy of her parents’ pride and affection.

The dad is focused entirely on his campaign and is more or less indifferent to all of them unless they aren’t “presentable” and “scandal free” enough to keep his potential donor/campaign manager satisfied, in which case he “expects better of them” until they behave. The children are like 30.

The mom is maybe the worst of all of them. She’s invasive, ignorant in that forceful way where she doesn’t give a shit about anything except her own bubble of reality that she thinks she’s living in and blows past any contradiction to it like it’s not even there, nitpicky about what everyone’s doing, is willfully out of touch with everything she’s told (Abby’s parents died when she was 19, and she spends the movie acting like she thinks Abby grew up in an orphanage made of dirt and never had a Christmas before). And she will not leave the two of them alone. She insists it’s ridiculous for two grown women to share a bedroom and gives Abby a room without a lock in a basement that’s bigger than my whole house, while Harper’s room is upstairs. Everyone is constantly barging into Abby’s room with less than two seconds of notice, which leads to the kind of tension and awkwardness you’d expect. The first morning, Abby wakes up to Sloane’s children staring at her.

Abby is clearly MISERABLE. And so are you, because you’re watching this movie. Abby and Harper are constantly pushed apart by the family, and Harper pushes Abby away while pretending to be perfect and straight for her family.

Her family invited Harper’s ex boyfriend, who thinks they should rekindle things. Super fun thing that I always love to see in my lesbian media.

While out at dinner, Abby and Harper have another mini fight in the bathroom. Harper promises she had no idea Connor(?) was going to be there and that there won’t be any more surprises. They walk out of the bathroom, right into Harper’s OTHER ex, her first girlfriend Riley (Aubrey Plaza, who literally just plays herself and is the only good thing about the movie).

This is the first 20 minutes.

There’s a party that leaves Abby feeling isolated and pushed away. She goes outside to make a phone call. She makes regular texts and phone calls to John for support and advice throughout the movie. He’s terrible at taking care of fish, but he’s genuinely a good friend to her and it’s clear he cares about her a lot. It’s probably unfair not to say his friendship is the second redeeming thing in the movie. After Abby gets off the phone with him the first time, Riley comes out from around the corner and tries to be nice, saying she could relate to what she’s going through. Abby kind of closes off from her and she takes the hint without any fuss and leaves her alone.

The movie slogs on with compounding stress and anxiety and a moment when Abby is LITERALLY forced to hide in a closet and pretend she was sleepwalking on her way to Harper’s bedroom at night. It MIGHT have been an attempt at a joke? I’m genuinely not sure because I did not come close to laughing once in the entire 100 minutes of this nightmare. Harper instead sneaks into Abby’s room while she’s awkwardly trying to get away from Harper’s mom. That’s where the gifs of the sneak-snuggle from behind the door come from. Enjoy the gifs because everything that wasn’t giffed is not worth seeing. Harper spends the night there.

Bright and early, Harper’s mom comes knocking on the door, trying to open it and barge in again but Abby blocked the door with something heavy claiming it was to “keep her from sleepwalking again” (her excuse for being in the closet) while Harper frantically gets almost-dressed and hides behind the door as BOTH parents come to bother them, and the evil sister’s children see her partially dressed through the crack in the door.

Later that day Abby has to go shopping for a present for the “White Elephant” Harper didn’t warn her about. She bumps into Sloane at the mall, who dumps her kids off on her before quickly leaving. The kids very intentionally frame Abby for shoplifting by putting a necklace in her bag, and there’s a really awkward and uncomfortable scene with her being interrogated by overly forceful mall cops who are yelling at her. When she finally gets back to the house, Harper’s entire family now thinks she’s a criminal.

Abby spends the night alone during another (campaign?) party that Harper told her she’d probably be happier getting left out of, and she bumps into Riley on the street and gets to talking with her, still more frustrated by Harper and her family. She says she needs some alcohol, Riley takes her to a drag bar which gave me really bad vibes and bonds with her there, telling her a bit about her relationship with Harper. They dated secretly (obviously) in their first year of high school (which implies she knew she was gay before she dated Connor, and used him as a cover). They would sneak each other romantic notes. When someone found one in Harper’s locker, she threw Riley under the bus completely, outed her, and said she was obsessed with her so she could go on pretending to be straight. They bond a bit and seem like they could be friends, at a minimum. They have a few more scenes together over the next hour (yeah there’s still that much movie left, and if you’re wondering how it could be that bad, you’re welcome for the warning, because I was wondering that too) and they have better chemistry than Abby and Harper by miles.

Eventually Abby becomes so miserable she checks the movie-specific version of Uber to try to go home by herself, but it’s running at holiday rates so it would cost over $1000 for her to leave. She’s still tempted to do it, and calls John again for advice and says she feels awful, completely alone, and with no way out of this horrible situation. He gives her some more friendly support.

Abby still needs a White Elephant gift, but has no way to go by herself because Harper drove them there. So she calls Riley to go with her. They spend a day hanging out together while Harper is doing some other thing with her dad’s campaign, and Abby makes text excuses to Harper, who then immediately sees Riley and Abby walking by on the street together. Before she gets a chance to run out and say something, she gets interrupted by something I thankfully don’t remember (I long for the moment this is true of the rest of it).

Riley and Abby bond some more but nothing romantic happens. The plot only wants them to be good friends, even though their chemistry is really good.

At the end of the day Abby comes in and Harper immediately almost starts a fight with her but they get interrupted again somehow.

I have willed most of the next 20 minutes out of my mind, apparently.

There’s yet another party at this gigantic house because I hate the rich, Abby and Riley talk more. This is the one with the really gay outfit. Abby admits to Riley that she was planning on proposing to Harper, but at this point it’s like she’s a completely different person and she can’t tell who the real Harper is. Riley says it’s probably both of them.

SURPRISE JOHN IS HERE. He comes in the front door and calls for Abby. After Abby’s last phone call he arranged for his therapist to do the pet sitting and he drove all the way here just so he could take her home. Seriously, John has incredible Good Friend Energy. Yet more awkwardness ensues, while John mixes some awkward flirting with Connor into his poor attempt to come off as straight. Abby then walks right up to Harper, says “we’re done” and goes to grab some things to leave. Harper follows her into the room and tries to get her to stay, Abby says she can’t take the hiding and the general misery, the whole experience has been terrible and she’s not sure if Harper is the person she thought she was. Harper argues for her to stay and says she’s caught between being afraid of losing her family if she comes out and knowing she’ll lose Abby if she doesn’t. She promises to come out to them as soon as the holidays are over because Abby is more important to her. They kiss briefly and realize Sloane is in the doorway.

Sloane tries to run to tell the rest of the family because burning Harper’s reputation forever means she’ll be the one their parents love most. They fight in the many hallways of this stupidly enormous rich people house (this is when “Stay out of it, Sappho” happens) and on the way to ruin her sister’s life Sloane finds her husband making out with another ....campaign person? in the pantry and or closet which is big enough to fit two people inside. Now Harper has something to use against Sloane. This family is fucking horrible. Sloane gets to where everyone else is first, and outs Harper.

Harper tries to swear she’s not gay, and sees Abby watching her. She silently turns and walks out the door with John. Harper then grabs a giant painting that Jane spent 100 hours on for the white elephant and smashes it over Sloane’s head and yells at her before falling apart.

Abby and John have another heartfelt conversation where John asks how she came out to her parents, and she said they loved and supported her. Then he said his dad kicked him out on the street and didn’t talk to him for thirteen years. He says everyone’s story is different, and Harper was still going through hers, and it was a hard one. I THINK he acknowledges that if Abby doesn’t feel like she belongs in that story, she shouldn’t force herself to? But that might have been wishful hindsight. Abby comes back into the house to grab her things and leave, Harper comes out to her family right in front of her, Abby says it was too late and leaves anyway. Harper is crushed and the rest of the family starts to see how fucked up they all are.

And then in the span of 7 fucking minutes the parents realize they were shitty to Sloane and Harper and the only reason Jane turned out okay is because they gave up on her, they give a minimal apology to their children, who also realize they were shitty to each other, and then it’s the next day and Abby is there with them, Harper has the ring on her finger, and everyone is magically happy now because the dad turned down his campaign advisor who said she could still work with him if he kept Harper’s “problem” a secret.

Jane’s book becomes a best seller and she’s friends with John now, because he was the only person who seemed genuinely interested in her passion. He sits next to her at her book signing. The end.

No, I’m not kidding.

As soon as it was over, I thought, wow that felt like a rushed happy ending that got slapped onto the end with nothing building up to or deserving it.

After further consideration, that gives it too much credit.

Because honestly? after the first hour and thirty five minutes of this hell, Abby and Harper being together at the end is not even something I would consider a happy ending. I wasn’t satisfied at all. It DEFINITELY felt like Abby ending up with Riley would have been a better movie.

If I had been told beforehand that a lesbian romcom starring Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis, and featuring Aubrey Plaza as Gay Aubrey Plaza would have been an absolutely miserable experience that was hard to sit through and nothing but unpleasant to watch, I would probably have been shocked and disappointed.

But at least I would have not seen this movie. That is my gift to you. Please do NOT watch this.

It was marketed as a romantic comedy and it lived up to neither of those claims. Absolutely terrible movie. The happiest season of all is one where you don’t watch this stressful, uncomfortable disaster.

#eldritchreviews

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certainempatheticturkeymuffin · 4 years

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So....

I finally got my Four Swords manga and read the entire thing in one sitting.

I have a few notes.

Red is a dumbass and I love him.

That whole hugging scene with Red and Blue came a little out of nowhere, but it was funny.

Red is an arsonist and I love him.

Green totally has the hots for Zelda.

I don't know why but Vio is my favorite.

Red is close in second though

Blue got fucking EATEN by the fucking Big Poe

And Red fucking saved him by being an arsonist

TWICE

Green is definitely the straight one, you can tell.

Shadow is dramatic as fuck

Vio is also dramatic as fuck

Shadow has a fucking DRAGON

Shadow literally destroyed Hyrule Castle and Castletown in a day. He's technically up there with Calamity Ganon

Shadow tricked Link into freeing Vaati!

My take was that Shadow was being heavily mistreated by Ganon and Vaati, which laid down some abuse subtext and....holy fuck that was sad. Maybe it's just 'cause my family was abusive that I got that read, but wow.

Shadow needs to be protected.

I love Shadow he needs to be given the good fucking things in life.

In the LU could he technically be brought back by one of Wild's blood moons? I read a fic about that. Does he count as a monster though? Then again, the blood moon enhances your cooking, so really I don't see why it can't give Shadow his physical form back.

Shadow deserves good things.

He just wanted attention and a family.

He killed himself to kill Vaati....I mean, I knew that before hand, but seeing it with my own two eyes....fuck

Shadow is a troll and I love him

He and Vio were just messing with Blue and Red lmao

Blue learned patience by being frozen in ice until Red decided to set him on fire, which, how long was that really? It was stated that they only left Vio alone for a day, so it must've only been a few hours. Must've felt like an eternity though.

I feel like Red and Blue were the main characters for most of the middle really.

I'm not complaining, their dynamic is hilarious and I love them

But I wanted to see Green and Vio interact with them more y'know.

I feel like Vio only really interacted with Shadow

And even then he was kinda lying the entire time.

Oh Hylia, Shadow's face when he realized Vio was going to smash the mirror.

That was just betrayal on so many levels

And he had just opened up about thinking Vio was the only one he could really trust.

After that I honestly feel it was dickish to just kill him.

And then he lives

Zelda is a top tier fucking Queen(tm)

She had no obligations to comfort someone who had kidnapped her and yelled at her

But she did and it was super sweet

THEN THE FUCKING SENTIENT CLOUD

I didn't know the clouds were sentient and honestly I'm still having a crisis over it

And in the beginning I thought Shadow just straight up killed Link's dad and I was like "oh damn okay this is darker than I expected"

But nope the fucker is still alive.

I feel like the knights of Hyrule were kind of a deus ex machina

And the final show down with Ganon was underwhelming

Vaati is a bitch

I think Red was the highlight of this story

And the fucking art style, because damn the expressions were funny

And I'm glad they implemented the subtle ways to tell them apart, like the textures of the tunics, the color of the shirt under the tunic(Green's is black) the light and dark eyebrows, and the eyes themselves.

Tingle was unexpected and I wanted him to go away like Green and Vio did

Honestly I still don't understand why people love Tingle, he annoys me.

Back to the actually good characters-THEY FUCKING LITERALLY TURNED A LITTLE GIRL INTO A DOLL

Her fucking doll(Rosie?) was creepy as fuck!

That trick was absolutely CREEPY AS FUCK

And I like how the four just wreck the bastard with toy weapons

And they keep them as real weapons when they leave

Like, how does that work lmao

Red set a fucking forest on fire

Red is an arsonist

Red is brilliant and I love him

Vio is an asshole and I love him

Just playing up how "Oh yeah Green is dead" and fucking messing with Red and Blue

I noticed Shadow is super touchy-feely with Vio and he's probably touch starved which makes sense.

Okay so Shadow wasn't dead, technically, is he still alive if all he can do is wave from Link's shadow and stuff?

It seems like a bad ending for Shadow.

In the LU, does this mean that Four just fucking stole the Four Sword and killed Vaati? Or did Zelda find some other way to seal him, 'cuz like, I'm pretty sure Four has the four sword in LU right????

So many plotholes but if this means I get more arsonist Red content, then I'm down.

Also, Shadow is gay af for Vio

Like, my gaydar was off the charts

YOU DON'T JUST GIVE A BRO THIS LOOK

70. And, like, Vio, you JUST fucking killed Shadow, don't give me this shit

71. This art is super gay, you can't deny that, they are literally fucking wrapped around each other

72. And Shadow wanted to fucking rule the world WITH Vio, like, DAMN he's thirsty 73. If it were me, I'd still prefer ultimate authority 74. Just in case y'know 75. And Shadow was so ready to spill his secrets 76. And he was so fucking heartbroken when he saw Vio with the sledgehammer 77. Like fuck Vidow is definitely my top pairing. 78. And Green and Zelda, the token straights 79. And we can't forget Red and Blue 80. Like Red was hardcore flirting with Blue, you can't change my mind. 81. Zelda was so fucking confused when she saw that there were four Links, and it was cute and hilarious 82. I normally don't like Zelda, but she was so cute and sweet that I really couldn't help it. 83. Also that chad drawing of a past Link that split into four was funny 84. It was just so fucking out of place 85. They literally only rescued two of the six mages, so are the other four still trapped or were they released when Vaati and Shadow "died"? 86. The knights of Hyrule had to save the four, so are they technically the weakest Link? 87. Fuck I made a pun 88. I fucking hate myself 89. Blue was probably my least favorite of the cast, but that was probably because he reminds me of my sister 90. Y'know, the sister that hits me, yells at me, and calls me names? 91. It just rubs me the wrong way. 92. But aside from that, he was great. 93. A bit of a cocky asshole, but great. 94. And Link's dad just thinking he sees his son's dead body and Shadow just yeeting him into the dark realm. 95. Damn Shadow was an asshole 96. Vaati was even worse though, trying to get Link's father to kill his four sons. 97. That would've sucked. 98. Link hiding behind Zelda's chair was funny 99. Green and Zelda with the childhood friends turned lovers aspect would be cute 100. I like how a fairy just pops up out of no where in the middle of the book

I think that's it?

I love this book and it'll probably be the only one I ever reread.

If you didn't know, I hate rereading content unless I find it or a certain part of it worth reading through again. Which is to say, one, maybe two, fanfics(oneshots technically), and maybe this manga. So yeah, quite an exclusive club.

I don't regret this purchase!

#four swords #legend of zelda #vidow #blue x red #zelink #zelda x green #commenting on a book #does this count as a book review?#fuck it #book review #book chat #gushing #some LU discussion #tags are hard #manga #manga commentary #no regrets

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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What you think of fetus V who said in front of everyone "You seem to really like men" to Jimin? Youthful ribbing? Or a moment of insensitivity ? FWI saying you like girls or guys? Or calling close same sex friends u a couple? is actually common where am from. This has happened in my friend circle too actually. Except all of us are hets so no one take it seriously. Cant think a closeted person would find it that funny. Jimins lack of denial or even laughing it off always stood out to me tho.

What do I think of that comment?

I think we both know very often when people say they think a man likes men, they mean to say they think that man is Gay and very often when the g-word is used in a sentence, it is not meant as a compliment- imma give it to you straight, no bs. Lol.

The parlance gay and variations of it, in my opinion, is often used ubiquitously and traditionally as a slur slang among ignorant, non-progressive, anti homosexual individuals and is often rooted in malice.

And when malice isn't intended, ridicule is. The sad fact is, people adopt the terminology as ammunition to blatantly attack, dehumanize, belittle and strip away the dignity of queer folks and when the term is used in reference to non queer people it has a similar effect. It degrades them as well through the irony and humor of comparing them to gay people.

Gay jokes, if you will, is a subtle art of passive aggressively slurring gay folks if you think about it. I mean let's be honest.

Personally, I don't think Tae's intentions in that moment were malicious at all. I don't think he blurted out those words with the intension to ridicule Jimin either- stay with me. It will make sense in a bit.

But he called Jimin gay nevertheless. His comment if a joke, I'm afraid, reinforces these bizzare stereotypes of masculinity and promotes toxic rhetorics prevalent especially within Kpop shipping communities where every Male idol interaction is hyper sexualised and romanticized thus, suggesting a man cannot love another man, be affectionate or be fond of them unless they secretly lusted after them and harbored a desire to lay down pipes in their behinds- which, honestly is crazy coming from a guy with a cultural background such as the Korean culture where kinship is commonplace but more on that later.

I think whatever which way we want to look at it, it was an insensitive comment especially if you believe he meant it as a joke. It was definitely not his most woke moment, socially and culturally- and that's putting it lightly.

That 'gay' comment to me is right up there with all the problematic statements some, if not all, of the members have made over the years- the colorism, racist jokes, the ' eww, you too black,' 'akekeke- you too tanned shoo,' implying if you're black or tanned you are ugly. The fat jokes, the misogyny and misogynior- please don't ask me to give you examples of these. I don't want to ruin BTS for you. Lol.

There are commentaries on these out there on the internet. You can look it up for yourselves- You welcome. Lol.

For the record, BTS have since retracted, acknowledged and apologized for most of these questionable moments throughout the years and so we cannot hold it against them, forever- not to make excuses for them but they are human too. They learn, they unlearn, they make mistakes, they correct them, they grow and as NamJoon said, they really were a bit 'unsophisticated' and rough around the edges in their earlier years- even if it was just five years ago from now, chilee. They is a mess. Lmho.

I think it's all part of the human process honestly- don't worry BTS, I have a lot of space in my heart for y'all to be human and still love ya. Keep going sweeties. Y'all's doing greatness de la grande kind!! Bless y'all.

In V's case he was, since that incident, put as a judge on a show that allegedly featured queer folks and he seemed more welcoming of them than the other judges on the panel, excluding RM of course.

A year later, he would make a song that the LBGTQ plus fraction of Army would rally behind as a highly pro gay song- Stigma, which I find debatable but whatever. I mean, just because JK has stars, clouds and the sky in his lyrics don't make him an astronaut or an environmentalist fighting the good cause for the climate but to each his own.

Stigma was still something, I'll give him that.

Flashforward to five years later, and he would be recommending songs by gay artists, appreciating and promoting gay art and the artists behind them, sporting rainbow outfits, designing a BT21 character that is genderless, incorporating sign language in his speeches- he polished up. Woke the hell up. Politically correct. Yadda yadda yadda.

I think, like some of the others, he too learned his lesson. It's not ok to trivialize the oppression of others or make light of it-

Now that we've gotten the woke bit out of the way, on to our shipping business. Follow me, chop chop. Lol.

Firt of all, I don't think that moment is a big deal. But I find it interesting nonetheless.

Do I think Tae was teasing Jimin in that moment when he made that statement? It's not quite easy as yes or no.

Personally, I think he was clocking him.

This interview was conducted at a point in the timeline where I feel Jimin was shedding his image as the Maknae obsessed hyung in the group. He was coming into his own and embracing himself for who he is and that I think included his sexuality.

Prior to, he had in my opinion, since debut, slipped into the role of the queer jest of the group supplying queer humor and entertainment for listeners at radio shows by offering himself up for ridicule as the 'gay guy' within the group- I hated every bit of it. Lol.

You'd often hear the members refer to him as the one good with the guys, the boy in love with the Maknae- There is still a fraction of Army that see him as this persona but he has since outgrown that label and that phase.

RM was basically the Black jest of the group, offering himself up for ridicule for his darker skin tone right down to his blaccent. Can you do your black accent? They will ask him at interviews and he would proceed to deliver a walmart version of the Black American English. Sigh.

Compared to the previous year where he literally gasped and panicked when the members hinted at his sexuality or made statements that put his sexuality into question, Jimin seemed more in control and mentally prepared during this interview.

When the question was asked of him, the question of why he liked JK, his instincts it seemed was to steer the conversation away from his sexuality- a tactic the rest of the members would employ to avoid discussing Jikook a few months from that interview...

I mean, when Tae asked Jimin on JK's birthday that same year what he wanted to give JK, RM cut in before JM answered. Jimin had done the same thing when in an interview JK was asked if Jimin wasn't his style and JK was stuttering not knowing what to say in response. JM asked him not to answer the question.

When interviewers ask these questions, they do so for entertainment purposes- because who doesn't like gay jokes, amirite?

For heterosexual idols I assume it's not slippery slope for them to engage in these kinds of humor. They can play gay without risking exposing their heterosexuality and when they do play gay it's for jest.

It's not the same for queer idols I think.

Jimin was basically done being the butt of the gay jokes in 2015, he was done selling himself as the JK shit rainbows and I'm the unicorn fixated on him kinda person and it reflected in that conversation.

'I don't like everything about this boy. He ain't all that. But he is the Maknae and he cute so whatever' lol.

Like I said, I think Jimin was steering the conversation away from his sexuality but Tae's comment steered the conversation right back to it. 'I just think he likes men.'

Most South Koreans I've met in person and on the internet spend a considerable amount of time and energy trying to dispel the western notion of gayness projected on to Korean men for their skinship culture.

We like to glamorize gayness in these streets but in reality gay is stigmatized especially in places like South Korea. People don't readily read gay in Male interactions unless they were being homophobic or socially unaware.

To me, Tae's statement was more of an observation about Jimin, one which he felt a need to contribute to the discussion they were having, perhaps to provide insight into the inner workings of Jimin rather than as a joke or jest- or may be he did both.

Jimin managed to avoid opening himself up for the gay jokes and to this Tae then responded, I just think you is gay sir- The emphasis has been mine. Lol.

The thing about Tae is, in the earlier days he used to have a habit of 'exposing' Jimin whenever Jimin told half truths and what not.

For example, in 2014 during an interview when JM was asked what he wanted to do on his free days he had said he wanted to spend time with his family or something and Tae immediately checked him saying he was lying. Jimin then said he wanted to be with Jungkook which had JK fuming.

Was he teasing JM when he called him out for lying about his true desires? May be but I think he meant it too. Know what I mean?

He did the same thing when during their Paris VLive, Jimin got nervous when JK was singing 'know you love me boy, so that I love you,' in the background and Tae asked Jimin if he was nervous. Jimin snapped out of whatever whipped trance he was in and asked 'why would I be nervous' or something along those lines.

Why would Tae assume JM was nervous listening to another man sing? And why would Jimin be nervous in the first place?

And if at an interview Jimin is asked, why don't you like listening to the Maknae sing and JM responded that he is cute but he can't sing and Tae says well I think listening to Jk sing makes him nervous- would that be youthful ribbing or tea? Do you see where I'm going with this?

I see Tae as very observant- If not more observant than Jk. Their jokes are punchier because it is rooted in truth. He is stating his opinion, his observations and when he felt JM's answers were dishonest or inconsistent of his general notion of him, he called him out on that.

It's like him saying JM likes to pretend to be drunk in order to tell Tae he loves him- allegedly. Was it funny, yes. Was it a lie? I don't think so.

Jimin likes to pretend, we been knew. His boyfriend don spilled that tea already. I mean Jk said JM faked being asleep when he noticed the cameras filming him. He said also JM knows he is cute so sometimes he intentionally acts cute.

Tae used to tease Jimin a lot- hell he still teases him a lot to this day. Lol. Had Jimin looking at the back of his head like he wanted to quick punch him in the throat in the recent run, chilee. Lmho.

But you gotta ask, where is the lie in all those jokes?

The question I ask myself, and I think we ought to ask ourselves as shippers is, what about Jimin gave Tae that impression of him in the first place?

What made Tae, coming from a culture and background where 'gay' is a taboo and skinship is prevalent assume that if Jimin liked JK then it was because he liked men or was gay?

Even if Tae meant it as a Joke- no one laughed. Lol. That awkward silence that ensued... now that's how you know he had deadass made a 'gay comment' for real. Lmho.

They were all silent, waiting for JM's response and only laughed when JM responded to Tae- isn't that how it usually goes when you are the one queer person at the het dinner table? The tasteless jokes, awkward silences and stares? Just me? Oh, never mind then. Keep reading. Lol.

Imagine if JM hadn't responded or had gay panicked like he did a year before that interview, when RM revealed JK had been sneaking into JM's bed at night?

Dude was legit ready to throw JK under the bus had it not been for the shady camera guy behind the cameras. Deadass, Jimin was pointing accusing fingers at JK and everything- so much for gay love. Lmho.

The question still remains, what makes you look at your heterosexual friend and go- hey, that's gay. Think about it.

If Tae thought Jimin liked men, even as a joke, it's probably because Jimin had been giving him a reason or reasons to believe he actually liked boys beyond the usual daily doze of gay prevalent within K-culture.

It's similar to JK feeling uncomfortable when Jimin in 2014 described their relationship as one between love and friendship. Jimin responding with male friends can love eachother too without being gay would imply JK was interpreting his words and actions towards him as laced with romantic and sexual subtext or intent.

Now why would JK assume this if men touching men and feeling up on eachother in their culture was a normal thing?

There are gay men in Korea you know?

Tae and Kook were both hyper aware and curious of Jimin's sexuality in that period- for different reasons of course. In my opinion.

Not sure if Jimin's androgynous features played a role in these suspicions and assumptions they had of him in the early days because androgynousity in men is often ignorantly profiled and stereotyped as queer.

Tae seemed convinced JM was queer at least and JK was projecting his own queerness on to Jimin a lot- cough, cough.

It seemed to me also that Tae for whatever reason had the impression JM had a thing for him? I'll save my VMin agenda for delulu Fridays but chilee I don't know, Jimin has been on an agenda to friendzone that man since those manly mans thawed off his chest. Lol.

VMIN... ok.

I mean Jimin's response to Tae was more to deflate Tae's ego than to deflect or evade the issue and I wonder why. 'You are so full of yourself' 'I may like men, but I don't like you' and Tae responds with 'really' as if he's been challenged or dared- ever had your straight friends assume you like them just because you are queer?

Anywho, for whatever reason, Jimin seemed to be the only member in the group around the early days whose words and actions were put through the queer litmus test.

Also, I think a distinction ought to be made between calling two same sex friends a couple and calling them gay.

Calling two friends a couple is inconsequential- except when their sexuality is on the line. Calling two same sex friends you know are straight a couple is nothing but a gay joke.

BTS do this all the time. Jimin called Namjin a couple, Tae kook a couple, himself and Suga a couple, himself and JK a couple.

Jk has equally referred to others within the group as a couple, made heart signs above them, and have even held his chest and said he never thought he would fall for a guy.

In none of these instances did he or any of them imply that they or the persons they were referring to were queer or liked men and I wouldn't make much of such comments.

When JK was called out for gifting a present to Jimin and not the others, Tae teased JK as well and his gestures implied to me, 'it's ok to like him, I know you like him, you like JM don't you, uWu' and other variations of these.

But he in no way hinted at the sexuality of JK explicitly or implicitly- not in a way that prompts a response or rebuttal from JK like it did in Jimin's case.

I guess what I'm saying is that, that moment is nothing but something at the same time. You look at Tae's personality and his reputation within the group as the one with no filter who blurts out things that often has BTS running helter skelter- that 'I want to see your children" comment at Festa almost gave RM an aneurysm. Lmho.

Then they had to literally take his mic away from him when he started talking about meeting a pretty chick or something at a fansigns.

You consider the history between him and Jimin, the context behind that comment and the things that was said after that comment- the interviewer said 'well JK is really handsome...' which means he took the 'joke' Tae had made to mean JM had romantic interest in JK- something I feel JM was trying to avoid.

I don't think Tae meant anything by it. I don't think he knew at the time JM was queer but I do believe he suspected he was.

Hope this helps,

Signed,

GOLDY

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crispyapplepies · 4 years

Text

AkuRoku Defense pt 2

Axel and Roxas’s ship has had one of the most bizarre fandom journey’s i have ever come to witness. It has gone from being one of the most popular ships maybe ever, to being dead cancelled over a supposed age gap and I find that completely unfair, especially when it speaks to so many innocent people who emotionally depend on the ship, (yes innocent includes the spicy people because art literally is not a crime). So its time to defend it.

Brief Review on Nobodies vs Aging

First of all, l already explained in part 1 what the Nobodies Don’t Age thing means but I’ll go over it again briefly, since it can be confusing, though also many people seem to demand their hands be held rather than use their imaginations to understand. Even so, here’s the short version just for a review:

-A person in KH is made of a heart, body, and soul.

-The body reflects the heart in KH. (See: replica bodies taking on the appearance of the heart that’s inside them).

-A nobody lacks a heart, making them just a body and soul. They’re advanced zombies of sorts.

Nobodies do not age because they have no heart for the body to reflect. This is why they won’t change until they form one. Change includes age

-Ergo, you can imagine any age you like for Axel to be nobodied, cuz he was frozen at that age and did not change for 10 years. Not until he met Roxas.

We’ll come back to this again later.

Axel Loves Roxas Canonically

Second of all, Axel loves Roxas and you are allowed to interpret that as platonic, familial, or romantic, I don’t care as long as you’re not forcing that idea on others like the ship police. That said, people are allowed to explore how romantic this love potentially is.

And what you might like to know is that the canon is even open to this. Axel’s love for Roxas is canonically expressed, and if you would like, you can even interpret that love as romantic. See below:

We are going to look at the japanese translation because AS ALWAYS good old SENA is here for the straights and erases the gay, like clockwork.

In English, Axel says this:

Axel: I wanted to see Roxas. He...was the only one I liked... He made me feel...like I had a heart. It's kind of...funny... You make me feel...the same...

Axel’s line here in Japanese:

Axel: I wanted to see Roxas... I loved him. Being with him... it made me feel like I had a heart. I feel it from you, too... the same kind of....

You may notice that as romantic as the line “he made me feel like I had a heart” sounds, the original can be read as wAY gooier, specifically cuz of this word:

好き: "suki"

Now here’s the thing. Japanese is a pretty vague language which is why context is so important for these things, as well as what you say, and what you don’t say.

“Suki” is a very key word here because it is often used in romantic confession scenes.

(I have no idea what this panel is from, I apologize lol)

It CAN mean something casual, like “I love video games”, but considering Axel is saying this with his dying breath, I don’t think we should be treating it as some hyperbole. He is referring to a person and it is meaningful. However. It is still a word with plausible deniability. Japanese has several words for love, “ai” for example being one of the most inarguable means of referring to romantic love. So choosing “suki” still leaves room for the homophobes to disregard it as something not romantic. Which makes it objectively inconclusive. Here is the thing though… they specifically chose that word, suki, a word which IS so often used in a romantic context in many anime and manga.

They also chose to use that word rather than something objectively platonic. Which means you also cannot conclude Axel did NOT mean it romantically. Given his devotion to Roxas, and the fact that they chose this word of all words for him to say… I’m personally going to assume it’s romantic. You are free not to interpret it that way. But I am because I am considering the fact that they did not choose something strictly platonic.

(My translator friend actually freaked out when I showed her this, she’s translated and seen enough confession scenes to know what connotations that particular word comes with lol).

If you’ve read my queer coding doc, you may recall I also go over how this is one of the most important tricks with queer coding. You write something that CAN be viewed as queer but with plausible deniability for straight people to ignore it. It’s a means of protecting oneself and the text from homophobic oppression. It is a legitimate practice. So even though it can be denied as a queer text, it can also very very well be viewed as a definite queer text. We are choosing to queer it here. It is not as explicit as it could be, but it is still very bold, suggestive coding considering the homophobic world we live in, and especially with KH2 being released in 2004.

“But Age Gap!” (ughhhhh)

We’re back to this cuz I also finally have the Japanese version of that infamous page in the Day’s novel to look at.

I hope you’ll forgive me if I get a little bit salty but I don’t like to repeat myself lol so I’m gonna try to keep this section short and to the point.

In this interview with Nomura, he expresses that nobodies do not age, and they exist as they were at the time of becoming a nobody. He then suggests Xemnas seems 30 ish.

Now I truly do not care to hold your hand through the process of thinking creatively because you should be using your own imagination, if you have one, to think critically and creatively about what this idea means.

Kingdom Hearts is a FANTASY game. Nobodies are a FANTASY concept. They can break ALL the rules about real life that you want them to. But I will go ahead and explain this for you even though I’ve already done it many times, in this very document even and in other meta posts.

The body reflects the heart. Nobodies are frozen as they are from the moment they are “born”, which is to say the moment they are created. Glorified zombies. They aren’t going to age unless they form a heart. Why does Xemnas look 30? He has a heart! Or he was formed 10 years after TerraNort defected. You tell me. Why did Ienzo age? I dunno, you tell me! Either he formed a heart and didn’t know it, (he’s passionate about his work, he loves Ansem the Wise, any number of things could’ve made him form a new heart), or he was nobodied later in life. Axel is frozen at whatever age he was when he was nobodied, all the while Ienzo could’ve been nobodied 10 years later. It’s a fantasy, and these are fantasy rules. That scenario can happen. YOU decide. Until the canon tells us for sure, your imaginations can run wild with explanations. Even if the canon does tell us, you can still imagine whatever you want for your own headcanons. Freedom is amazing, it’s salty and sweet.

Now let’s talk about that annoying page in the Days novel people keep shoving in my face.

This one right here. The official english translation is this:

That’s not the worst translation I’ve seen them put out there. But let’s look closer at the Japanese:

Here, Axel says he thinks Roxas is about 10 years separate from himself, but things like age don't exist for nobodies.

Already that’s making a lot more sense to me for nobodies since we are told nobodies do not age. As such Axel speaking like he is 10 years older would feels almost contradictory when he has no heart and cannot change.

This wording is important. Recall me saying that Japanese is very vague so all of the context matters. No one is denying that 10 years passed between Birth By Sleep and Axel meeting Roxas. However. Nobodies don’t age.

(please dont make me explain that a third time in this essay alone)

The Japanese and English both express that age does not apply to nobodies, (as discussed above^^^^) and the Japanese furthers this with its wording. They have 10 years of separation between Axel being nobodied, and Roxas existing.

Axel saying in English that Roxas is simply 10 years younger than himself is rather misleading considering the ambiguity of the original. I can’t fault the translators too much for not understanding this nobody concept so well because it is obviously confusing. However, I do not think Axel was saying Roxas is literally, in real life human somebody terms, 10 literal physical years younger than him. He is expressing that he became a nobody 10 years ago whereas this guy became a nobody very recently, and it shows with how little he can even function right now. A zombie who has been wandering around with no heart for 10 years meets a fresh zombie wandering around with no heart for 1 day.

I know antis are gonna use it against us no matter what, but at least know that akuroku is not inherently pedophilia nor is it inherently an adult/minor ship.

In many of our headcanons, Axel was frozen at age 18 or 19, with Roxas being 16. Absolutely no one is required to view them with a big age gap because imagination is free and you literally have no right to police it, but also because the canon expresses these nobodies as beings outside of the realm of age. They do not operate under real life rules or somebody rules. Think of Steven Universe where Rose was thousands of years old but only “grew up” as a person when she fell in love with Greg, a human in his 20s-30s who asked her to consider other people’s feelings. Consider the mind of a nobody as a state of Neverland. You aren’t gonna age unless you step out of it and change. Mature. Isn’t it sad that Axel did not feel like he had a heart until Roxas? No wonder people ship it!

Coding is Obvious

Finally I wanna conclude on a simple thought. This interview right here? I’d be curious what the original Japanese actually says lol but the english translation of it says that romantic akuroku was not Nomura’s intent.

Here’s the thing though. If you know anything about queer coding, you know that using romantic coding between 2 male characters is signaling something. It is not something you should ignore. It would not be there if the characters were meant to be viewed as objectively straight. And for something “unintentional”... there sure is a lot of coding at work here.

From Axel pinning Roxas down and asking him to come home in a very sexually suggestive pose,

to watching the sunset in sheer bliss together just enjoying the peace of reunion,

to watching the sunset together while talking about what LOVE is, specifICALLY romantic love,

To this. And I already told you what this was in Japanese.

I’m not saying Nomura lied…

But I am saying that a whole staff worked together to create these games, and it is very difficult for me to believe that no one thought to say “these characters appear to be romantic, let us change the scene to be more platonic” if the characters were not meant to be romantically suggestive.

Tl;Dr I wanna live in the timeline where people let you ship akuroku lol

#akuroku #akrk #axel kh #roxas kh #kingdom hearts

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allkinds-oftrash · 3 years

Text

Ya girl is watching the latest HSM series ep and Imma live blog it hshshs and will add my reactions under the cut so it doesn't end up a long post. Anyways, let's goo:

AHHHH THE MORNING SHOW WITH GINA AND EJ WE LOVE TO SEE IT

They really said we're gonna let life imitate art with Nini and Olivia huh

Ricky was SUPPORTIVE??? Damnn I really thought we gonna get a classic Ricky tantrum....

But also wow sir that sounds salty and should definitely talk to someone abt how you're feeling...A therapist maybe 👀

I know we needed to contextualise how Ricky felt abt the song but I really wanted to see Nini's interview in full!!

Sebby you're so cute I do wanna see yall do DEH

Shjshshs not the rights not being available for another 5 years 😭😭

I dunno how they're in great shape and closer to the Menkies Gold after not having a single proper rehearsal, but go off Miss Jenn

Omg honestly Kourt's costumes are always amazing and on point Imma excited to see it

Kourt is such a simp we love to see it

Carlos is so pissy this episode we love to see it shshhs

Also love the way Seb calms him down and keeps him nice it's such a funny dynamic

"We had 20 people make our Belle dress over 50 hours" Okay North High shut the fuck up

I'm calling it now the reason North High knows so much is cos Howie is the leak and Kourt has been unwittingly telling him. The way her phone keeps going off as they discuss how North High knows everything is really good foreshadowing if my prediction is right

Also like her phone went off just as Carlos said "How did they know that?" THAT'S PEAK FORESHADOWING

If Howie ain't in North High, I dunno what Tim is doing

GSJAGSHAH KOURTNEY MAKING ABS FOR EJ I CANNOT

"I have abs" We know sweetie

"I PADDED THE THUSH FOR YOU" "AWW THANKS KOURT I NEEDED THAT" THIS INTERACTION IS EVERYTHING THAT WAS SO FUNNY!! I love that it is now canon that EJ has abs but no butt love that for him

Okay but like damn these costumes are great!! North High can fuck right off with its high end ones I just wanna see lowkey homemade costumes by students; I'd watch a Broadway show if I wanted to see professional costumes okay

Damn Carlos has killer eyesight clocking in that mask in the trunk

GINA BBY DON'T SAY THAT AND HAHSGSH NINI NUDGING HER WAS SO FUNNY

Nini's little look over at Gina was like "Omg you guys my girlfriend is so cute and dumb" GINI STANS HOW WE FEELING?

Miss Jenn don't be that naive, your boyfriend probably put them up to it

That Insta page is prophetic with their timing tbh; all the info is a leak obviously looking at your Howie but like the timing of it all. Those kiddos don't know that they are discussing the stolen mask at this exact moment (Kourt has put down her phone after Carlos snapped at her so Howie doesn't know they are talking abt it rn)

"We don't dance with the enemy" *cuts to her dancing with Zackey later*

SEBBY WEARING THE TEACUP COSTUME OMG HE'S GOING MAKE SUCH A CUTE CHIP (yes I am still mad Seb/Joe was robbed but Imma fangirl over the costume anyway)

Wtf why does North High look so expensive - they are literally in the same district as East High right??? How did they get this much funding

North High is a very artsy and rich for a public school; they should have had Nini go here instead of YAC tbh (like this campus feels like what YAC should have been) NOW THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN INTERESTING STORYLINE

Seblos' dynamic IS ON POINT THIS EP I really love my bois so much and their back and forth is hilarious

Shhshs DIANE who loves volleyball and North High okay I totally believe it

WHY ARE RED AND ASHLYN SO KINKY EVERY DAMN EPISODE TIM THESE ARE UNDERAGED CHARACTERS STOP IT

Shshsh we love Gina knowing herself and practicing self control by volunteering to be the lookout

Omg yall listen to Carlos and stfu they are so lucky no one saw or heard them yelling Wildcats

Oh no no no no no Miss Jenn you gonna get sucked in; this is gonna be so messy

Omg I saw someone post about this scene before I watched the ep YALL ARE RIGHT THAT BOI HITTING ON GINA IS SO FINE Babes go for that one, not EJ

NOT THEM FAKE DATING UGH E W TIM STOP MAKING ROMANTIC PORTWELL A T H I N G I honestly do not understand how some of yall can ship it romantically knowing Sofia is a whole underaged babey and Matty is a whole ass grown man - like I get the appeal of the Wonderstudies getting together and they do have chemistry but the irl age gap is creepy and outweighs the appeal of shipping them romantically

As I always say; Portwell/Wonderstudies should be a BROTP not an OTP

Ugh Brotp Portwell would have clocked Lily right away; romantic Portwell making googly eyes at each other isn't helping anyone

Living for Nini getting the recognition she deserves - I really like her solo arc this season she's so much more interesting without Ricky tbh

Aww Kourt you simp I love her and I'm so happy she's happy I wanna be wrong about Howie being a North High kid

Where is the mask??

OHMYGOD THESE KIDS COMING IN LIKE A HORROR MOVIE

Lily really wishes she was Jesse St. James huh; you could never Lily so stop

Andrew Barth Feldman and his cute little French accent I love him so much

Hnng Miss Jenn gonna get manipulated by this hoe. Omg wowow Zackey really is a hoe, making out with another girl before the show THE AUDACITY OF HIM SAYING MISS JENN WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH I WILL THROW HANDS WITH THIS MOFO

Wait the kids didn't steal it BUT WHAT IF ZACKEY DID

Ssjsgfajhdfg I CANNOT WITH ANDREW'S ACCENT but I can't tell if its really bad or really good but I'm also confused why didn't they just cast a French person as Antonie shshhs Antoine is adorableee and a little shit the best type of character

Lily is so annoying b y e sis bye and Olivia Keegan is talented I just wish they didn't make her character such a cartoony villain type

"How about if we bop to the top" SEBBY I LOVE YOU AND NEVER STOP BEING SO CUTE I SWEAR and Awww Carlos called him Honey I am s o f t

Hnng why do these fools are really gonna give into North High calling them chickens

OHHH NO SHE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT ABOUT ASHLYN FUCK A DANCE OFF I AM ABOUT TO THROW HANDS WITH A 16 YEAR OLD

"She told us not to dance with the enemy. She's better than this" No Sebby, she's not *cuts to her dancing with Zackey* AND OMG THE WAY I SAW THIS EDIT COMING BEFORE IT CAME

Ooooh I like this song wayyy more whatever the mess The Mob Song became (when I first heard it drop on Spotify yesterday) Around You is such a great song musically and lyrically very relevant to these two and gosh I love their voices together

They have so much chemistry damn, go home Mike (well he technically has oop) and Mr. Mazzara

YES YOU DO MISS JENN YOU ALWAYS HAD IT

Oh god this is the scene from the trailer; she's gonna make a move on Ricky isn't she?? Leave him alone Lily he doesn't need a 3rd girl to be confused about he needs a therapist

Lily shut the fuck up with quasi; STOP TRYING TO MAKE QUASI HAPPEN

"I love Nini's song" Sure, Jan.

...Okay yes you should have called him out but don't bait him LIKE THAT oop there's the scene from the trailer

Ohmygod is Andrew Barth Feldman gonna hit on Ashlyn

Okay this is so cute but also I am VERY annoyed with the way this show handles its characters like they aren't relevant or important unless they get into a relationship or a love triangle?? That's such a shitty way to give out screentime and arcs to characters. Is it not enough to develop the characters on their own and strengthen their friendship???

HUH TIM why you so obsessed with compulsory heterosexuality??(well also homosexuality for Seblos but they are the only ones I'm not annoyed with their relationship cos its a hella big step for Disney to have a gay couple and their relationship isn't in our faces or overshadows the plot and its just spinkles of cuteness every time they interact - they are honestly who Rini wishes they were; besties in love. They are a couple that Tim should be taking notes from; leave the relationship drama in the background, focus on the theatre and friendship aspect of everything)

My mini rant aside; this is a very adorable interaction between Ashlyn and Antoine.

"TOM HOLLAND ON STILTS" GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT COMPARISON I AM SCREAMING ANTOINE THAT'S SO FUNNY

This is so funny he keeps picking out the hottest guys of the group; as if he himself isn't the French version of Big Red they look super alike ngl shshsh

WHY YOU RUIN IT WITH THAT ANTOINE I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

Drama between Antoine and Red is already spicing up shshsh I cannot

Why are you so dramatic with the shuffle Lily gtfo of here...also this doesn't make sense?? She wasn't even on a BATB playlist; what if a non BATB song came on ahahah

Good to know they aren't big fans of The Mob Song like I am Awww EJ you cutie, okay I will appreciate the OG Mob Song just for you

OH WAIT HE PROLLY LIKES IT COS ITS A GASTON LED SONG TIM GIMME THE EJ SOLO I DESERVE IN THIS NUMBER

I'm being robbed of Gaston for the last 7 eps I at least deserve an EJ solo for compensation

The way the set looks straight out of Broadway but also like omg the blue lighting and fancy stage gave me intense flashbacks to that Glee episode where Vocal Adrenaline sang Bohemian Rhapsody

RICKY STOP BEING SALTY AND ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

OMG THE SUBTITLES SAID ITS HOWIE SINGING AS THE BEAST I FUCKING CALLED IT

Howie you hoe you gonna break my girl Kourtney's heart

Yeah...still not a fan of Antoine's Dance Remix

Yall know Gina would kill the dance number if she wasn't wearing that fit

Okay but it's Gaston led song WHY DOES EVERYONE BUT EJ HAVE A SOLO IN THIS SONG??

First the Beasts led it (Howie sounded better than Ricky ngl), then the Lumieres (their voices worked hella well together; I always forget what a talented singer Frankie is THEY NEED TO GIVE HIM A SOLO SONG) and now the Belles are going at it (Ashlyn's voice is superior)

BIG RED BEING JEALOUS AND SALTY IS SO FUNNY ITS LIKE A PUPPY BEING ANGRY I CRI

...Did anyone really win, Lily??? STFU

CARLOS IS RIGHT AND HE SHOULD SAY IT

Oooh I did see someone talk about this when the Rose Song dropped last week, apparently its illegal to add songs to a musical you're doing for a school play; I really thought the show would brush past that irl rule but I guess they are playing into it

THE WAY EVERYONE TURNED TO EJ FOR THE SPORTS METAPHOR I AM D Y I N G AND HIS FACE WAS GOLDEN! ITS LIKE THAT LISA SIMPSON MEME SHHSHSH

Okay Nini is being a little pissy about leaving her song out of the show and its a little selfish to wanna keep it at the risk of being disqualified but I also understand why she's hurt

Everyone is dog piling on her right now being against her idea and it feels like they are being against her song and her herself instead of them not wanting to be disqualified. Also like she poured her heart and soul into the song after Miss Jenn lowkey rushed her to write it. So I can see why this feels like a rejection of her and her song and why she's so hurt rather than her seeing the big picture right now

It doesn't help that Ricky said the final blow causing her to walk off

Okay maybe Zackey gets some rights for being chill and wanting the kids to be peers

THIS MOTHERFUCKER I KNEW HE WAS SHADY Also the way I gasped even though I predicted he stole the mask halfway through this ep shshsh

Stab him Miss Jenn STAB HIM

Bitch why you so threatened by East High if yall have such a Broadway-esque show planned??? They honestly should have stuck to the Little Mermaid; I really wanted to see the aquarium

"It's just a song Ricky" "A song can mean everything" Do you get deja vu? Anyone else getting intense flashbacks to Jan when DL first dropped and all the drama happened 👀

YES PLEASE STAY CO ANCHORS Gosh I love them so much esp once you take the romantic connotations out of their interactions

ROUGE GRAND I'M SCREAMING

I love this long take of checking in with everyone's relationship status (still hate how romantically focused this show has become but still a cool shot)

I K N E W IT I WAS RIGHT

Okay but like looking at Kourtney's face I have never wanted to be wrong so bad GOD I HATE IT HERE I really think he likes her and I hope they work it out

Nini setting up her own music acc feels like when Olivia rebranded her whole IG to be just for her music stuff - love this for both of them

AHHHHH SHE'S NINA NOW YALL

I know everyone loves her as Nini but like I have always loved the name Nina and it really suits her to be honest also shows how she's growing up now and kind of leans into the lyric "I won't be confined to your point of view" from The Rose Song because Nini is the nickname Ricky gave her so it shows that she's outgrowing him too and I love that for her!

Overall thoughts; they really crammed all the North High drama into one ep huh. Personally would have liked it if all of this was spread out throughout the last few episodes; like different hijinks for every episode. I'm just a big fan of properly setting up the overall arc over the season instead of patching it together closer to the climax/end of the show. Cos now it lowkey feels like two different seasons - 2A felt like The Rini/Rina Show esp with YAC storyline and whatever was going on with Rina and now 2B is finally feeling like what this season should have been all this time

#hsmtmts season 2 #hsmtmts #hsmtmts spoilers #nina salazar roberts #gina porter #EJ Caswell #Ricky Bowen #Kourtney Green #Ashlyn Caswell #Seb Matthew Smith #carlos rodriguez #Big Red

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nymph-of-books · 3 years

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reading the midnight lie for the first time

FAIR WARNING; i am not going to be spoiler free!

— it’s one of em books that are like. really confusing to get into at first, and you’re just spiraling a bit. this is also because of nirrim not being fully aware of what’s happening to her, bless her heart. but once you get into it !!!!!!

— fuck aden. fuck that little shit. he is so gonna be dead. i will fucking end him.

— raven too. that nasty little woman!!! i cannot believe the shit she pulled. a middling little rat. manipulative and the worst of all worst. nirrim, that isn’t your aunt, that’s a monster.

— SID! at first i, too, was confused, as i didn’t exactly read much of the synopsis and thought, like nirrim, that sid was a man. i was not very happy, since i thought, oh, that must mean the romance is secondary. but the flirting in the cell was so damn good i couldn’t help loving this ship, which is saying something. i don’t like the straights unless they’re golden. literally, i have spent barely any time in the past YEAR reading non-wlw books. anyway, back to sid!!! sid is so neat. butch loml. knew she was royalty straight from the “your-“ comment by the guard. it was funny watching her avoid the truth. i don’t often fall in love with white girls (especially not blonde ones!!!) but sid is the exception and she damn sure knows she is. also, side note, i can’t stop thinking of sid from ice age??? like that’s half what i imagine sid’s voice to be like even though i know that’s ridiculous.

— i’m so, so glad that nirrim had so many friends in the ward. that little bean deserves it. nirrim is also exactly what i once wished to look like! i imagine she looks exactly like me (dark brown bob, light brown skin, little tiny bit of freckles) but then with green eyes, which i LONGED for as a child. every one of my protagonists had green eyes. lmfao. but also (SPOILERS TO END ALL SPOILERS) her powers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the coolest!!!!!

— what the fuck. drinking bl**d. like, i know you think you’re better than everyone, high kith. but what the fuck!

— the caste system was reminiscent of my home country so although it should have been abolished in both fantasy and reality i loved the commentary on it!

— i know un-kith aren’t supposed to matter but like. can we know more about them? how is one strapped of their kith? are they just homeless, or something more?

— uh, that one scene of men kissing. that’s not mlm side characters enough to include in y’all rep lists, that’s like barely a paragraph!!!!! thats not rep, at least not enough to praise a book for its rep.

— i see so many people calling nirrim lesbian... like, i see why you want to call her that, but she should be able to decide her own label??? also, she knew she liked sid in her subconscious BEFORE she knew sid was not a male. so like, she may not be lesbian. she is sidsexual. that’s all we know!!!!

— i do wish there would have been some more. like different identities, you know? that are touched upon. this is published as an lgbtq+ read, but where’s the other gay? WHERE’S THE FLAVOUR???! no but seriously a trans or bi or non-binary or something else character would be awesome. and more poc!!! and more disabled!!! sorry i get excited when speaking about diversity!!!!

— the writing was. chef’s kiss.

— uh. the ending?????? girls of flame and fury AND hollowed heart in like the same month. i cannot wait. it’s like. 169 days since i wrote this, according to twitter. i cannot wait that long. give me it. now. also, why the fuck ADEN, if you know what i mean????

okay that was it ty for listening to my rant (review?) edit: some reason i thought aden's name was amin so i had to call him out properly !!!

#sidnirrim #the midnight lie #wlw #wlw rant #rant

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bogkeep · 4 years

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i wrote down a rough outline for the Timian Fable and Vinta Qir story, just to have it written down Somewhere, and i feel like it’s only fair to share it with people who care about them!! i wrote it in a google doc but i’m gonna copypaste it under the readmore, so i hope the formatting isn’t too fucky.

(here’s a toyhouse page for my iphimery characters)

Prince Aljanah (third son of the queen, pretty far down in line to the throne, generally bored, has zero responsibilities and zero accountability) seduces Timian mostly for the heck of it. I mean, Timian is super cute, so like. Why not. He gives him a smooch and a stealthy “think about it, OK?” and oh god does Timian ever think about it. It’s a really Big Conflict in his brain because he has a DUTY and this goes against ALL DUTY and Aljanah is almost literally his employer (his loyalty is sworn to the royal family) so it’s like! What the hell is he supposed to do!! What the prince wants is supposed to trump what he wants, unless it puts the royal family’s safety in jeopardy, and AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (and he kind of really wants to?? There’s a lot to unpack here?????)

There’s some genuine friendship in there, where Aljanah helps Timian overcome some trauma around magic, but for the most part Timian is left pining for a relationship Aljanah isn’t interested in.

(Aljanah teaches Timian some light magic maybe??? Timian isn’t too keen on using it, ever. He does learn some very useful magic blocks though.)

Vinta is on a mission to assassinate Aljanah. Timian stops them and they are equally measured in strength. Vinta is about to use their magic (which they only use as a last resort), but Timian then has a moment of Gay (their faces are very close together) and blurts out something like “oh... you’re beautiful” which takes Vinta so unexpectedly aback they kind of… flee

Vinta tries again another time, but Timian is there again to meet them, and this time Vinta goes straight for the magic - which freaks Timian out bc trauma, but he remembers what Aljanah taught him and counters it. The ordeal leaves both of them so exhausted, they kind of just lie down and… start bonding over how magic kinda sucks. Very begrudgingly, on Vinta’s part at least.

(“Please don’t forget me?” “I don’t think I could even if I wanted to”) Unsure If Vinta Agrees To Stop The Assassination But They Certainly Seem Very Unhappy About The Prospect Of One

Despite it seeming like Timian may never meet Vinta again… Vinta keeps showing up. Not as an assassin in the dark, but like, on the street? Off the clock? So they sort of start hanging out?? Vinta has a real knack for finding Timian anywhere, anytime… one time they come across him singing by himself down by the water, but they don’t approach him. Just sit down and listen out of sight, a little guilty for intruding.

Timian seems awfully forgiving of Vinta attempting to murder his crush, but hey, Vinta was just trying to do his job. Timian seems extremely reluctant to talk about Aljanah at all ever though. Vinta slowly pieces together that Timian has some really strong and painful feelings towards the prince. IT’S COMPLICATED

Vinta never ever addresses the whole “you’re beautiful” thing. Timian never brings it up either. THEY’RE BOTH THINKING ABOUT IT, CONSTANTLY

This is like. The first time either of them has a friend who’s really their equal and who kind of really gets them. It’s so incredibly precious and neither wants to mess that up. This has never happened before in the history of gay

Timian’s relationship to romance/sexuality is very… he has a duty, you know? He has to be stronger than that and not let it ever distract him. So of course Aljanah comes along and MESSES ALL OF IT UP. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He has some issues. He’s working on it.

In all honesty he started out very clueless like he didn’t recognize crushes as crushes for such a long time because “they’re just such lovely friends :)” you know. So it was very easy to say he was above these things BUT HE WASN’T!! HE WASN’T!!! HE WAS JUST A DUMBASS!!! What Aljanah does is essentially just confront the dumbassery head on and it’s like oh no *pictures of all his dear lovely friends spill out of pocket* “i’m gay???” “always was”

Vinta’s relationship to romance/sexuality was to repress all of it because they don’t belong to themself. They were like, keenly aware every time Some Feeling showed up uninvited and they would throttle it and shove it down where it never got to flourish. 1) they can’t have it 2) they don’t deserve it So don’t even try, you know? There’s no fucking point.

AND SO THEY PINE FOR ONE ANOTHER

I mean they kind of… help each other a lot, sharing traumas, letting the other that they deserve to have nice things, and be a person maybe?? Maybe duty isn’t all there is for them out there? Sounds fake but ok [gazes longingly into each other’s eyes]

Vinta never goes through with the assassination on prince Aljanah but sometimes they kind of really want to. Not because of a job, but because oh my god Aljanah broke Timian’s heart and also AAUGHH HE DOESN’T DESERVE TIMIAN’S DEVOTION THIS IS UPSETTING I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH THIS DSJKSDJKDSFJB!!

They also gotta deal with the pressure from the assassin’s guild. Since they’re one of the top assassins they got a lot of leeway at first, but now that they’re questioning both their purpose and loyalty and kind of push back… it’s getting kind of dangerous maybe. The other assassins start getting on their case as well and Vinta has to keep up appearances and prove that they’re not too Weak to do it. Vinta has a lot of pride in their skills ok. Pride is one of the emotions they’ve let themself foster.

Meanwhile Timian is kind of slowly able to let go of his yearning for Aljanah, because he’s found a relationship that’s filling in all the wounds from what he’s not getting from the prince?? Like he’s investing in a friendship that’s actually fulfilling and a two way street? And maybe?? Something More?? SJAJHSDJKA???

It’s giving Timain the ability to set a boundary between himself and Aljanah that was sorely lacking before. Things are still kind of Strange and a little Painful but he’s on a healthier path and we’re all very proud of him

Look I haven’t thought too hard about the actual plot with the assassination and stuff but imagine that other assassins take on the mission to kill Aljanah and VINTA TEAMS UP WITH TIMIAN TO PROTECT THE GARBAGE PRINCE BECAUSE HE MATTERS TO TIMIAN.

Aljanah hasn’t met Vinta before (he just sleeps through assassination attempts for the most time, it happens frequently enough that he just accepts that this is his lot in life???) and is like oh thank you and who do I owe the honor and Vinta just punches him in the face

Since that was overall confusing, Timian and Vinta kind of have to talk about it, and Vinta admits to having some… Selfish And Greedy Feelings and they are clearly not ready to confess properly yet

Timian has, for better or for worse, learnt some things from Aljanah. “You want to see something selfish?” he says, kissing Vinta. “Think about it, OK?” he says before he goes, leaving a VERY DAZED Vinta just standing there

[MORE THINGS HAPPEN????]

In the future. When Vinta has quit the guild and Timian is no longer a royal guard, and they make a home together and create a life where they no longer work in violence…

Vinta collects knives because they love knifes. Knives have always felt Safe to them because magic has been the dangerous tool. Vinta gets really good at woodworking.

Timian helps out at an apothecary. Which is funny because his name just means thyme in norwegian. He doesn’t keep any polearms around, but if necessary he can wield a really mean pitchfork.

They’re both highly skilled fighters, but don’t try to drag them into any pointless wars, ok? It won’t end well for you.

They love and care eachother

#iphimery #timian fable #vinta qir #aljanah #good kid and anger knife #oc #haiz writes #dont wanna link the doc itself in case i decide to write more stuff that i dont wanna share yet #this is more like a compilation of things i have already mentioned somewhere or sketched or idk. across chats and social medias

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helakkas · 3 years

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So...

Two weeks ago I said this would happen, people got mad at me and yelled that no-one should be negative about 15x18, that Cas would definitely be back, that they wouldn’t bury their gays and Dean would definitely love him back...

Now can I finally say, without anyone attacking me: sincerely, fuck you, SPN. This is the worst way you ever could’ve handled this.

(This rant has been in my drafts for two weeks and I'm not even looking it over before publishing.)

Please note that I have always shipped Destiel and have no doubts whatsoever that these characters love one another. I have zero doubts on that. (Despite what Misha may have said in his M&G two weeks ago.) The problem always was that the writers of the show didn’t know that. These characters fell in love in spite of the writers, and when fandom picked up on that, I don’t think the showrunners knew what to do with that. Whoopsie, people think our characters are gay? Better make it a joke! But then...the joke ran for too long. It stopped being funny. All those little ‘hints’ and ‘narrative parallels’ and whatever fandom saw - were just coincidences, sometimes nods from set decorators or writers or actors themselves. Sometimes not. But I don’t think they ever intended to go through with it. Never. Fandom was way too clever for this show, much cleverer than the show itself and its writers were. It never deserved its dedicated, wonderful audience.

And that’s why I’m salty over this, and that’s why I was angry two weeks ago and I’m angry now. Because if they’d just let it be, these characters could’ve been happily together in subtext. The bar was set so low that they could’ve crawled over it. But they just had to be ‘clever’ and give one final nod to fandom - by making Cas confess to Dean and then die and never come back. Great, thanks for nothing. Thanks for crowning 12 years of subtext with one final insult in text. Because yes, despite what everyone yelled at me for - it’s a ‘bury your gays’ trope coupled with ‘unrequited love’ and a lovely dash of ‘gay queer guy angel falling for a straight guy’ on top.

I fucking hate it. I hate that this is how Castiel got his ending. I hate that this is what they thought was appropriate for him. I hate that they discussed this, thought this over, and decided that yes, killing a suicidal character, never giving him a chance for happiness, never making him feel welcome and loved, and humiliating him by making him confess to his straight best friend who literally ‘can’t reciprocate’ was the best option. (Another thing the show was clearly unaware of: Dean is bi, and that’s final. He’s not straight, thanks ever so.) I hate that the most beautiful story born from this pile of garbage got such a horribly insulting ending. (Well, fitting, in retrospect.)

I think the writers thought they were generous in giving the fandom this, that they 'dared’ to give us canonically queer Cas and a love confession (in the last season, third last episode... How daring! So brave!), and I understand that some people find meaning and strength in that, but personally, I find it more insulting than if they’d done nothing. For me, the context and everything following Cas’s confession absolutely negates every single good thing about it.

Because guess what? If we couldn’t have canon Destiel (another thing I was losing my mind over when it was trending - it’s not canon unless both reciprocate! We know they love each other, but clearly, the show doesn’t!), I’d prefer we didn’t get anything. Especially that piece of garbage. Because Dean and Cas were already in love. We know that. Everyone with eyes can see that. And even if the writers and showrunners tried to stop it... They couldn’t.

Dean and Cas were always in love. They always will be. And you know what? I still think it’s a wonderful love story - they fell in love in spite of the writers. That’s how powerful it was.

#i've been sitting on this for two weeks #if this never leaves my drafts i'll be EXTREMELY surprised #spn spoilers #now i can lay my head to rest and be finally free from this trainwreck of a show #personal #about destiel #spn #destiel #don't @ me if you're here to yell at me #i don't really care since i'm done with this show #but if you want to cry over dean and cas with me please do

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abanomath · 4 years

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DC’s Tone Deafness

So I don’t really like ranting or being negative, but DC Universe recently released an article to celebrate pride month about the Top 5 canon and non-canon LGBTQA+ relationships in Young Justice.

And the tone deafness is just off the charts. Like most of the world, I’m not American so I needed someone to screen-cap the actual article for me. I’m going to organize my thoughts and go down below.

General

For one, its pretty obvious the writer didn’t look at the source material. This article sounds like it was written by someone filled in on the basics and told to write a good PR article for DC.

There are a lot of little details in the story, such as when the writer claims that they “showcased even more LGBTQA+ protagonists in season 3″ implying they had previously, which they hadn’t. One character was implied to be bisexual in the comics, never on screen, but more on that below. Season 3 was the first LGBTQA+ rep for the show.

Also its always a bit tone deaf when in an article celebrating LGBTQA+ and diversity in your show, that you have a list of 5 “ships”, of which only ONE is actually a couple in canon. Not only did they need to resort to non-canon ones, they included people that can’t be called a “ship” or couple.

1. Kaldur/Wyynde

This is the only actual LGBTQA+ couple on the list that is canon in the show, and I liked them. But I can’t deny that Kaldur who was a main cast member for the past two season’s had a vastly reduced role (compared to straight cis white characters like Dick and Conner). He was basically written out of the first half of the season, and then his relationship was really present for 1.5 - 2 episodes max. This in a season that was marked with excessive attention given to heterosexual relationships (like seriously, basically every character was in some form of relationship on-screen). The one healthy LGBTQA relationship got less attention than Black Lightning and Dr. Jace’s romance, something that ultimately went nowhere, Dick/Barbara, even Megan/Conner when Megan was also essentially written out of the season.

2. Marie Logan and Rita Farr

They really dug deep for this “ship”. Ironically, they start this by talking about the scene in Young Justice #25, when Queen B’s powers work on Garfield’s mother. This was the first implication her being bisexual. And of course, she also dies in this scene, so starting off with a “Bury your gays” trope where Marie’s queerness literally got her killed and orphaned her son.

There isn’t much more to say about this ship, because it literally doesn’t exist. The shipping community for this is so small you have to go digging deep into tags to find even hints of it. The article even basically says this, posing the ship as a question. As being interesting. (Does it count as Bury Your Gays when both woman are dead before their relationship is even hinted at?)

In other words this article about celebrating LGBTQA ships literally had to try and CREATE A SHIP to reach 5 ships. Despite the fact there are plenty of LGBTQ fanon ships (Birdflash being the most prominent one left off the list). It really hits at the thing I said above, this is a “write us a good PR article with the barest amount of effort put into it” situation.

3. Harper Row and Halo

Oh boy don’t get me started on this. There are so many problems with how they did Halo this season, she is basically tone deaf personified. (For the purpose of this rant, I’ll be using the “she” pronouns for Halo, because I have no choice but to assume they are her preference, unless the show purposely spent the entire season mis-gendering her, but I don’t think her characterization really supports that she prefers “her/she”).

I’ve had a problem with Halo from the start, because she is basically an attempt for the writers to shallowly include representation without having to actually deal with it. She is Muslim representation, but not actually Muslim (as she confirms on the show). She wears the Hijab because she feels like it. She is genderqueer, but they never once talk about her pronouns. She refers to herself as “not feeling like a boy or a girl” and constantly refers to herself in the third person, but everyone uses “she/her” pronouns without asking her. They even have a scene where she informs them she is genderqueer, and its never brought up again without asking any actual follow up questions or awareness. They also infantalize and treat her as a little girl.

Additionally, she falls into one of my greatest pet peeves - she is genderqueer but for fantasy-scifi reasons. For those that follow genderqueer or transgender characters in media, this is a very common trope. Essentially, the trope is when someones gender identity is caused by/determined from otherworldly experiences.

This trope bugs me because it completely undermines the point of representation. Representation in media is supposed to show the audience that these are natural human experiences and that people like this exist and are normal. But the trope ensures that the experiences are not normal human experiences.

(and don’t even get me started on the fact that this show has made New Genesis tech gendered before, with Sphere. And even gender the bioship in the same season they pull this for Halo).

Lastly, she also falls within the “promiscuous bisexual” trope, with the very kiss this article praises as THE FIRST LGBT KISS ON SCREEN for the show. This is a problematic trope that DC seems to love. Basically, this scene has Halo cheating on her boyfriend with another young classmate, engaging in two kisses with her.

Now I’m not going to say that all LGBTQA+ relationships need to be wholesome one true loves. Problematic behaviour like Halo and Harper’s is a story telling tool. But the fact that the LGBTQA+ was told going into the season there would be LGBT rep so they should watch, and this was the first rep we got 18 episodes into the season? It felt a bit like a slap in the face. They could’ve had her break up with Brion beforehand, or any number of different ways that would even keep the scene in tact.

And the relationship doesn’t really go anywhere anyways. Harper doesn’t really remain part of the season going forward, Halo and her boyfriend continue their relationship after it was revealed until the end of the season.

This is ultimately my problem with Halo. There are a few tropes that basically are summed up as “writers put all their diversity into one character” which is basically what Halo is. Each of these qualities, from faith to gender identity to sexual orientation could’ve been a fleshed out character arc (oh! I forgot to mention she also falls into the “My gender identity isn’t cis, so my sexual orientation is also bi/pan/gay” trope). Instead all the diverse qualities of Halo are addressed shallowly as the show-runners pat themselves on the back.

4. Bluepulse

I’ve ranted a lot so I’m not going to go crazy on this point. You can probably find tons of posts about the drama between Bluepulse Shippers and the show, which again makes their inclusion kind of tone-deaf. Bluepulse shippers have been called disgusting by the fandom for the three year age gap, an age gap that was never confirmed on screen and you had to go digging in Greg’s personal message board to know (resulting in many people shipping them not knowing their ages at all).

In addition, the showrunners made it clear they did not like this ship over the several years the show has been off the air. And in Season 3 they give Jaime a girlfriend….who is a lesbian in the comics. Now Traci and Jaime did date in the comics before she came out, and this is another Earth. But when the sole purpose of their relationship being on screen was to tell the audience that bluepulse wasn’t happening, choosing a lesbian character to play the cis straight girlfriend is a bit of a slap in the face. again.

5. Bart Allen and Eduardo

Queerbaiting, nuff said.

For those not in the know, Ed is a character introduced as a runaway in Season 2, but he doesn’t really interact with Bart until mid-season 3. There is an episode where a group of heroes go to a carnival, and Ed and Bart appear to be on a date. They are in a group with all couples, except for Virgil. Virgil laments being the only person there without a significant other, implying that Bart and Ed are together. Additionally, Bart and Ed do everything that the other couples do together. It was pretty heavy-handed that the couples were there on dates.

And fans liked this! Even if Bluepulse wasn’t happening, Bart may still be bisexual or gay. This was made worse by Greg retweeting and liking Ed/Bart content, and not giving a straight answer on whether they were dating.

Which obviously, creates the expectation among LGBTQA+ fans that they will get together. They don’t. And later at a convention, one of the main writers (not Greg) said something like “its funny how the fans see relationships between characters differently from our intent” when asked a question about them. Essentially confirming that yeah, they didn’t have any actual content for them planned anyway. Though they did have an addendum that they may build on the fan reception/view of the relationship in the future (basically saying, maybe they’ll be canon).

As much as I’d like to be optimistic that they actually will get together and we’ll get a LGBTQ relationship that is in the spotlight for once, I’m not. I’ll be happy to be proved wrong on this point.

And that was my TEDtalk about how tone-deaf DC patting themselves on the back for LGBTQA+ content in Young Justice is. Especially when other animated shows do so much better with fewer episodes and screen time.

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charmspoint · 3 years

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Top 5 characters that live in your head rent free 🤔

For this ask meme

Oh god ONLY five??? GOOD QUESTION. This is gonna be hard to both decide on and rank fairly uhoh lets see, this ranking his shifty as hell depending on what I’m into atm obvs

5. Tsurugi Kamiya from Servamp

Does he look like a knock off Izaya? Yes. Is he? Very much no.

Tsurugi is like my no 1 reason for getting back into Servamp, I left right in the middle of his arc and I ;-; IS HE OKAY??? DID HE GET AWAY FROM TOUMA??? DID HE BECOME WRATHS EVE??? NOBODY TELL ME I’LL FIND OUT ON MY OWN.

Servamp was one of those shows where I didn’t really have a fav main character for a good while until this guy showed up. This guy is an absolute crazy little monster I can’t overemphasize on this, his coat is used as a fucking straight jacket I’m not even kiddin

You get introduced to him and he’s scary and terrifying because he’s so strong, like he’s one of those strongest in the series characters and since he and the heroes are on semi opposing sides he is a serious threat. So you get introduced to this guy who seems borderline crazy and feral and then...you get to see him goofing off with his two boyfriends and their kid and it’s just

The domesticity!!!!Look at it!!!! It’s so fucking cute aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, they are so cute together OT3 of C3 ftw, MY SON. Like Tsurugi had a horribly abusive childhood and was basically raised like an attack dog and his previous partner :) well he do be trying to seriously kill him don’t he. But look! He found his own little family he can be semi normal in!! Until is torn apart by his abusive adoptive father figure :D!!! I ABANDONED HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT ARC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im sorry this got so long on this particular character none of the others will be so long i just miss him TSURUGI ILL CATCH UP FOR YOU!!!! Maybe he should have been no 1 hbjhbjh fucking sleeper agents am i right

4. Izaya Orihara from Durarara

Ah yes, the og queen bitch. Has my taste for villains ever recovered from Izaya? No. If your villain isn’t at least a bit like Izaya I’m not interested. Durarara was one of my first serious fandoms and Izaya was the first character I ever wrote for and I think you can explain me as a person if you consider Izaya was my all time fav at 13. I can’t really say anything about Izaya that hasn’t been said thousands of times before, I love how goofy and overperformative he can be, I love how there’s so much in him once you crack him open, I love how good of a villain he is for a messy story such as DRRR, puppeteer villains are really a league of their own. We need more puppeteering twinks, maybe then I’d be more into villains yaknow.

3. Hawks from Boku no Hero Academia

To no ones surprise!Him! I’ve been drifting off from BNHA recently what from catching bad case of JJK what from just reading n watching more other stuff and honestly that’s probably good because I’ve been into BNHA for a couple of years now as my main fandom and I really could have used a break. Not to say I don’t like BNHA anymore tbh I think right now BNHA is the best it’s ever been just ya know, drifting. That being said my love for Hawks will never die, god what a good boy and we got his backstory too aaa ;-;. BNHA was just like Servamp, something I liked but didn’t really have a fav character in until this random support character strolled in and won my heart. God I love how much we got on Hawks. He’s completely different from his initial impression and his unrelenting strive to do good despite being thrown from one horrible situation to the next is just ;-; HES SUCH A GOOD BOY. He’s selfless to a fault, literally putting everyone before himself and putting himself down for not being able to achieve more than is humanly possible I’m just ;-; I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. He just makes my heart happy, he’s good and warm and hardworking and in a manga where trauma plays such a major role in so many characters it’s so good to see Hawks there, having been through three different types of hell and still coming out unnerving in his goodness. All I want for him is to have a good life and to one day be able to smile for real.

2. Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen

Again no surprise since I’ve been so into jjk lately. Satoru is p high up rn cuz I’m mainly into JJK now but god knows where he will actually settle. He’s not even really my favorite character in the show, that goes to Inumaki, but this is a list of who I think about the most (tho all of these characters are either no 1 or no 2 for their shows) and boy my brother and foxy can tell you I’m constantly thinking about this bitch. I didn’t really care about him that much at the start but then I got to Hidden Inventory and OH BOY MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. Satoru is such a wonderfully complex character whos evolution you can clearly follow through the years. He’s under so much pressure as the strongest sorcerer to deal with everything and he has to operate in that system trying to change it for the better while at the same time trying to make sure his students arent sacrificed in the name of that change. He has a very goofy disposition but along side with Nanamin who’s a lot more explicit about it, it’s clear he cares about mental state of his students a whole lot. He knows this world is terrible and that the will come out of it with scars and that he can’t protect them from all of it, but he balances protecting and letting them grow as much as he can. They need to grow so jujutsu society can change after all, but they also need to be protected so they don’t fuckin die before that can happen. This is without all the many many opinions I have on Hidden Inventory and SatoSugu as a whole, how they influenced each other, how differently they reacted to their shared trauma (Funny how everyone on this list is fuckin traumatized) and what resulted from it. How their fucking love story is dramatic enough to be a Shakespeare play. Also I like it when he’s long and goofy ahahah

1. Chuuya Nakahara from Bungou Stray Dogs

Not to objectify men on main but I couldn’t choose a picture

If there is ever a day when I don’t go feral over Chuuya I’ll probably be dead. He not only lives in my head rent free he owns the place.

HES SO UNDERUSED.

BSD has such a great setup with Chuuya, like he’s ex partners with the mentor of the main character who got betrayed and abandoned when the mentor left shared evil organization. Sounds like grounds for drama right? YOUD THINK SO. Like Chuuya and Dazai have such a great and interesting dynamic and you can feel how strained it is from the distance and betrayal and they bicker and fight as their defining relationship trait BUT there is such a strong underlying trust to all the fighting. These two trust each other with their whole lives and that hasn’t changed despite everything, despite how much time has passed and how much that trust had been tested. So you’d think he’d be an important character :) HES STUCK IN SUPPORT HONESTLY HES STUCK IN BACKGROUND UNLESS HES NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING COOL AAAAAA. Chuuya is literally one of a kind, I’ve never seen a character with such a good design and such an cool power and such an interesting relationship to one of the main characters and such a love and support from the fandom BE SO UTERLLY AND COMPLETLY WASTED. Even when we get Chuuya scraps they rarely build on relationship he has in canon but just throw in new random ones at him (tho that’s a broader problem of Kafka throwing new characters at the plot instead of developing the one he already has really). We get a hint of a cool fight with him? Completely cut out, More often then not it just feels like he is benched because he’s so damn strong there would just be no plot tension if he went in and broke some heads (which is also a problem with Satoru, guys stop writing op characters if you’ll just put em on the bus aaa). Anyway he’s completly and utterly wasted by the plot.

And it’s such a waste because he’s such a good character. Like he’s a member if the villain organization and is obviously by that very vicious and violent but also so empathetic and kind to people he considers his friends. He and Dazai have the brawn and brain thing going on and stg Chuuya is like the only brawn I can think of that is classier then their brain. Look at how this guy dressed, he’s high class gay, hat, choker, coat, gloves, he is bringing in the looks. I love how he can actually be completely calm and rational and put together but then put him with Dazai and it’s back to ‘we are 15 and we will scream out heads off at each other’, they are so childish.

Anyway I love Chuuya he deserves to be treated better and I will never stop screaming about Chuuya ever

#anon #lucy rants #ask game #this one was the most fun so far aaa i like to geek out #sorry it took so long anon but i had lots of fun with it <3

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