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agirlwholovesrockstars · 11 months

Text

If you don't know me by now

☆AGATHA'S MASTERLIST☆

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

summary : you're a popstar and your school Hawkins High invited you to come over to host an event and you're their special guest and you take relationships very seriously, that's why you don't do dates quite often because you only want to settle for the one and that is Eddie, you got curious about him since you always fancy rockstars

word count : it's not gonna be long, I promise 🤞🏻

warnings : 18+ Shy!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, no use of y/n but reader is Agatha hehe (I really want to have a rockstar bf like Eddie in the future 🫠 let me have my moment here lmao) establishing a relationship, reader and Eddie are both 20, reader having period and dysmenorrhea, Eddie is a little insecure in this, that's just it!

what to expect : 100% fluff, a super cute fic- I swear to god hahaha

note to reader : Eddie Munson is literally my type of a guy 🥹🫶🏻 I always stress about the fact he is truly a goddamn walking green flag, I wanted to write a fic about Eddie that he is amazingly the best boyfriend that you could ever ask for! so yeah, that's like I'm kinda using my own name in here, call me delusional or whatever lol but he is all I ever wanted! too bad he's just a fictional character 🥲

author note : I've never read a fic that is FEM!reader who has intense dysmenorrhea and us ladies like that need a representation hehe I have TOO MANY FIC IDEAS just sit tight and see my other stuff in the making ;))

You've been on tour for 3 years and your parents are so pleased of you

by pursuing your dreams and working hard

You're determined, consistent and you faced so many obstacles in your career

you join opportunity that lays on you, once it's on there you never missed it, you auditioned, you practiced every single song, you keep improving your talent and skills

One thing you don't do is to never quit and to never stop once you finally had it

You always loved singing and it's the reason why you're still alive, it's what keeps you going

Music is your life

Without it, you don't know what you would do

ever since when you're a kid, your parents are always supportive and giving you boost to accomplish your goals

You loved to sing your heart out and that is all you ever wanted to do in your life is just to sing and perform

You also have a few genuine true bestfriends from the school that you studied, Hawkins High

Steve & Robin

Max, Dustin, Lucas, Mike, Erica, Will, Jonathan, Argyle, El and Nancy.... you like bonding with them but you and Steve & Robin are much more close

Hawkins, Indiana is your hometown, it's your birthplace, your childhood memories are in there

But the time when your singing career got skyrocketed, you and your family moved to Los Angeles

Your last concert has officially over, your manager Alex passed an envelope from your school, Hawkins High

Your eyes sparkle with excitement, you speedily open up the letter and read what it says

"Hi Agatha, will be having you as our special guest in Hawkins High for our school program this coming Friday, we are thrilled to have you."

You squealed in exhilaratingly while jumping in the process as you place the letter against your chest with a big smile on your face

"I believe it's about your hometown? Isn't it?" Alex says while she takes a sip of her coffee

"Oh! Yes it is! Alex!" You grinned at her and you paced back and forth inside your tour bus and obviously you couldn't wait for it

"Calm your heart down, sweetie" Alex puts down her cup on the coaster while she became apprehensive from your overjoyed discomposure

She kinda regrets showing the letter to you now

you sigh with a breathy laughter "Aw, I'm so sorry, Alex" you smile

"It's just that it's been so long, I missed my family, my friends" you chuckled a little bit as you remembered your memories with your friends

"Good thing, it's your vacation, you can do whatever you want after that" Alex while she looks over to your schedule

Alex is like your big sister, she is so protective of you, she acts very serious but once she loosen up, she is so fun to hang out with, you also chose her to be your own manager, your parents treat her as a part of the family

You sat down on the bunk bed "You could do whatever you want too" you say while you're trying to look at her eyes

she turns around to face you from the small coffee table "you know, I can't do that, right?"

"You sure you can, you just won't stop and try to take a break for awhile like all you do is work!" you straighten up and went for the small refrigerator and grab your pistachio ice cream pint

A small smile tugs at her lips while she thinks deeply "I feel like you're right"

"Well, of course, I'm right" you scoffed and shake your head while you search for a clean spoon

The silverware clangs as you look for one utensil

"What about you? don't you want to get out of the comfort zone and start dating?"

The cold dessert sends glacial through your mouth and it caused brainfreeze

Your face crumpled up while chewing at the pistachio bits from the ice cream

She snickers while watching you and you roll your eyes at her

"You know the reason why I can't just date like that- what if he isn't the one?!?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know that, hmmm" she places her index finger on her chin as she thinks again

You squint your eyes at her while you're scooping the ice cream

"How about we make a deal?"

It made you stop yourself by eating your favorite ice cream as you listen to her carefully

"Once you're in Hawkins Indiana, you'll date someone and I'll be traveling the places that I badly wanted to go, what do you say?"

You nod slowly "I'll say it's a deal then" you extend your arm out to shake hands in agreement

"But one condition, if you don't do what exactly as I said, I'll resign as your manager" she saids jokingly

You jeered on her "in your dreams, Alex" you say as you both shake hands

"Welcome To Hawkins" it says on the roadside

10am is the call time in your school

You've taken a bath, you fixed your hair, you did your makeup

You chose a dark brown polo blouse with black coat and bell bottom and you wear black boots

"Ah! I couldn't wait to see everybody!" You say as you sit down on the passenger seat

"I just know this is going to be awesome" Alex says as she taps her fingers on the steering wheel

"Why do you say that?"

"Nothing, I'm just awating at the anticipation that you're probably the first one going to lose at the deal"

You chortled while putting mascara on your eyelashes "We will see, don't we? Alex?"

Alex parked the tour bus and you ran quickly outside the vehicle

You inhale the summer breeze while closing your eyes for a moment

"Agatha?" someone called you out, you knew who's raspy voice coming from

You open your eyes and you saw Robin waving at you while bouncing up and down

"Robin!" You ran towards her almost knocking her off the ground

She laughs "I missed you too!"

"Where's Steve?" You say in muffled sound

"I'm right here" you pulled back from Robin and see Steve walking towards beside at the both of you

"Steeeeeeve!" Your eyes flickering with so much happiness in them

"I miss you like crazy" Steve says while hugging you

You pulled back while you're chuckled of how you acted seeing them again "I miss you guys so much!"

"Look at you now!" Robin excitedly says as she looks over to your tour bus

"Our little star became the shiniest ever!" Steve says and he booped your nose with his index finger and you giggled

"I'm on my vacation! We can whatever the hell we want!" You smile lopsidedly

"I like the sound of that" Robin smirks to Steve

"Best believe we'll be there" Steve says while throw his arm around your shoulder as they gave you a tour inside of Hawkins High

You eyes roam around the school hallways and you look over to your locker that you used before

There's a lot of changes and new renovations but it still feels the same

Robin nauseated in disgust "Ew- do you remember the time when Jason Carver is so head over heels with Agatha?" her face scrunches up

You groaned "He's not my type and I turned him down politely" you shrug

"He shouldn't been had given the kindness, he is a scumbag!" Steve throw his hands up

You laughed with them and something that caught your eye

Steve and Robin voice became a blur to you

A metalhead cutely smiles at the picture proudly raising his guitar on the school wall

You read the name of his band "Corroded Coffin" with 2 more unknown boys on the bottom, you assume that his bandmates

Your heart begins to race and you didn't even noticed that you're looking at it for hours

"Who is that?" You point at the picture

Steve & Robin stopped talking for a moment as they followed your gaze

"Oh, that's Eddie Munson" Steve places his hands over his hips and he mischievously grin

Robin smirks and they both know what's your type of a guy and you're so dead "We got a crush on the horizon!"

It made you tear your eyes away from the picture and you squeeze your eyes shut

You facepalmed and you put your hand over your mouth

Both of your bestfriends shared high-five right in front of your face

And you knew this would be so fucking unpleasant

The whole school gymnasium is packed loaded filled with a lot of students

Max and everyone is on the backstage

"I just don't get it why you don't date?" Max trying to look at your eyes while you giving yourself last few touches

"It's because, Maxine" you say in a sing song and made her roll her eyes at you

You know she doesn't like to be called like that

"I want a boy that who genuinely loves me! I don't wanna settle for someone who is an asshole" you say as you put back your black coat on

"She got hot shots for our boy, Eddie" Robin snickers

"Oh, do you now!" Dustin grins

Mike, El, Lucas, Jonathan, Argyle, Will, Erica, and Nancy started clamoring

"What qualities do you want from a boy exactly?" Will asks

"kind, caring, supportive, always there for you when times get tough, never fails to make you feel loved and just the perfect man ever" you let your hands fell down on your sides

"I know what I said is too good to be true because I-I know men like that doesn't exist I'm like writing a fictional character" you let out humorless laugh

"Eddie is the answer to your dreams, Agatha" Lucas nudges you with a giddy smile

You got confused "What do you mean?"

"Eddie is kind" El says to you

"He is caring" Mike smirks

"Number one supporter for real!" Erica says

"he's the one who will be there for you" Dustin grins

"He is truly the man won't stop showering you love and compliments" Nancy added

"In conclusion, the best man ever" Steve says as he fist bump to Dustin

"Why are you guys telling me this?"

"It's because he's the one that you're looking for!" Jonathan exclaims

"He has the greatest weed, man" Argyle is obviously high and you shake your head with a smile

"Eddie is our friend even we don't knew him that much but judging by his actions? He is a good dude" Dustin says trying to convince you

Your heart grows bigger and you try not to smile

The conversation went for a brief silence

The principal announced your name and your friends cheered for you

"Eddie might be watching you" Steve teasing you

"Oh, stop it, Steve!" You push him playfully

You grab the mic and greeted the audience

You winced at your friends for being so loud at the backstage and you laugh

"Deep Purple by Black Dog" instrumental starts playing

You started singing and the whole crowd was just in awestruck by your stage presence

You feel happy but also at the same time stress by your friends teasing you about your feelings with Eddie

Much to your dismay, Eddie overheard a lot shouts of joy and he stopped and looked over the gymnasium door window

Of course, he will halt his tracks as he heard the familiar voice and the band instrumental playing

He is shocked and almost collapsed that Gareth and Jeff help him back up to his feet

He grew weak just by seeing you in singing and he always loved you and hearing your powerful voice

You didn't know he has also have feelings for you

"Woah, are you okay- o-ooh- Holy shit!" Jeff jumps in excitement

"Is that Agatha?" Gareth eyes widen while he holding Eddie back up not looking at him

Eddie does not say anything as he pushes the gymnasium doors as he enters inside

His heart might explode anytime soon as he watches you closely

Gareth and Jeff gave each other's knowing looks as they both know how Eddie worships you in secret

even Eddie isn't vocal about it but they knew his about his infatuation with you

at the autograph table, Gareth and Jeff pushed Eddie with your picture on the line

Eddie made a perplexed expression on his friends but he followed them anyways

He wanted to back out as soon he became closer and closer to you

You haven't seen him yet on the line, you're so caught up from all the sweetest messages from your fans

"Oh no, I'm next" he thinks to himself

"Uh- hi?" he spoke, grunting softly how his voice shakes

He sounded so nervous he hates it

You're still signing and you raise your head and back down and back up again your eyes widened

You made a double look at him "it's him" you think to yourself

You're both staring at each other what it feels like forever

Your eyes softens as you stare at him longer "he looks so beautiful up close" you think to yourself

"Just act cool, Munson" he keeps reminding himself ignoring the fact that you're fucking staring at him like he's some kind of a celebrity

The girl he has a crush on is smiling at him

"Hi, Eddie!" You say enthusiastically your excitement to finally see him in person is clearly unshielded and that made him so extremely confused

"You know me?" He points to himself, he is so dumbfounded and you're enjoying this

"Yeah"

"Cool" a smile grows on his lips as he scratched the back of his neck exposing his muscles on his arms

You gasp softly at the sight of it and you drew your attention away from it before you could do anything that is embarrassing you saw his shirt, it says "Hellfire Club"

"You love to play games?" You motioning to his shirt

"Y-yeah, I do, you know D&D?" He clears his throat

"I do, but I still struggle to understand it though" you shrug

A light bulb comes to his mind "I-I could teach you" he smiles sheepishly

Your crush being so shy to you is so cute "I'd love that"

"You w-will?" His smile reaches to his cheeks

You nod and you give the autographed picture of yours

"I will also love to hear you play"

Eddie could just kiss you right away, he couldn't believe his own crush, knew about his existence and his band?

You're the girl that he wants ever since you moved on from another town so soon

"The Hideout" he says plainly

You tilt your head at him and he realizes "I mean, that's the place we perform"

"Oh" you giggled "I'll be there to cheer you on" you wink at him

Your smile and your laughter is music to his ears

"You better go over there before your friends tease you" you jerk your head on the side and Eddie saw Gareth and Jeff clearly controlling their sniggering as they both watch you

He blushes and ducks his head down shyly

"My god, this man is so adorable, I could scream" you think to yourself

"You should come over at my place, I'm having a reunion party going on" you say not making it sound desperate that you want to have him forever

His lips apart at the thought that you're inviting him? He would die for you right now

"S-sure, I'll be there" he grins at you and walks away fast

His cheeks were on hot fire

You prop your arm up the table and rest your chin on your hand as you sigh

You're falling in love so hard with the cutest metalhead you ever laid eyes on

Alex saw the whole thing "I knew it was you" she squeezes your shoulder

You groan while signing the next picture "it was worth it, are you happy now?"

"I am" Alex smiles to herself while she crosses her arms

You thanked everyone and thanked the school staff

You expressed your gratitude and appreciation for everyone who came

You and Alex and your friends headed out towards the exit

You stretch out and immediately folded slightly as you felt an intense pain, you're having abdominal cramps

"Are you doing good, Agatha?" Steve asks, eyeing you in concern

You take a deep breath "y-yeah, I'm good, I'm just exhausted, that's all"

"You should get some rest like you just recently got finished from your tour and did this and now you're going to host a party" Robin always rambles if she saw you in pain

when she rambles really wildly that means she is worried about you

"You guys, I'm fine, this is nothing" you say you wave them dismissively

You know, Steve & Robin won't believe you but they check on you as they can

"How come I didn't knew about Eddie?" You ask in curiosity

"I think for a short amount of time, you've met him while you're just rising up from your career" Steve says

"What? Really? I can't seem to recall it"

"Yeah, you take home your studies instead when you're conflicted with your schedule" Robin added

Even you don't remember it, Eddie never forgets the first time he saw you, you're the only one that he loves until now he didn't knew that he can bump into you again, it's so unbelievable to him, he thought he might never see you ever again because of how popular you are

You're at your house and everyone is in there

Loud music coming out from the speakers

No problem with the food and drinks cause' Argyle got it covered

Everyone is dancing and having a good time

You remove your coat and you're trying not to hold your stomach

You're experiencing dysmenorrhea at the moment but you always ignore the pain that you're having right now

Eddie came with his RV van and he is very nervous

He checks on himself rearview mirror like in the 100th time

He calms himself down while taking deep breaths

"You got this" he says to himself

He's wearing white polo unbottoned on the front with necklace chains hanging on his neck and black denim pants with his Reebok

Of course he would never leaves the house without his rings

He rangs the doorbell and you swing the door open

Your words caught up in your throat and Eddie does the same

You swallowed and chuckled nervously "Hi, Eddie! I'm so glad you came!"

You step aside and he says "Well, thank you for inviting me, my darling"

"My darling" you restrain a squeal you feel so many butterflies on your stomach

Everyone shoots knowing looks at you while they glance at Eddie

Steve, Jonathan, Argyle stole Eddie for a moment

You hissed on another hit of pain again on your stomach

You plastered a smile on everyone but Eddie notices it

You looked amazing but he knows something else is bothering you

Eddie is a good reader when some of his loved ones are distressed

Just by one look, he knows it, he just knows it

The party is doing well as you planned

When everyone is saying their goodbyes to you and hugged you

You want them to stay for more, it's not even that late yet but all of them are like wanting to come home immediately

Eddie is the one who is left behind, who is clueless and confused just like you

You saw Steve & Robin dragging Dustin ass out of your house and you heard their mischievous laughter

Oh, they're up to about something else

You shake your head at them as you watch Steve's car drove away

You suddenly feel nauseated, you cover your mouth and ran towards the bathroom and slam the door shut

You throw up and it feels like all of your insides is gone just how painful it is

This is what you hate when you're time of the month, you have extreme dysmenorrhea

You cancel appointments, meetings, or even shows, if you're having sickness like this

Eddie runs after you but he step outside when he heard the door slam with a bang

Eddie heard your vomiting and is now worried about you, he knocks on the door softly when he heard the water running

You flushed down the toilet and wash your mouth on the sink

You cleared your throat "Um- Eddie- I'm fine, you can go home"

You sound so sick, he can't leave you alone like this

"Are you sure?" He steps back when he saw the doorknob moving and you go outside of the bathroom

You almost fell but Eddie catches you, holding you tightly

"Woah there, sweetheart" he says while he checks on you

You looked so queasy and you bring yourself to look at him and to his hands on your waist

You blinked and he just stares at you

All you can see is care, he cares for you, he hopes that you'll trust him to take care for you

He is so gentle with you and your heart flutters more

Maybe, your friends we're right about him

You say "OW!" while you hold your stomach and Eddie put his arms over your shoulders as he brings you to sit down on the sofa

"Eddie, no- no- you have to go home, please, I'll be fine" you reassure him

"I can't go home if you're like this!" He whisper-shout

You feel fluid coming out from your private area and you rush towards the bathroom again

Eddie watches you and you shrieked

He doesn't think twice of coming after you again

"W-What happened? Are you okay? What is going on?" He asks his tone might be too loud or too high in worry he doesn't care at this point

You open the door a little and he tries to open it wider but you stopped him

His face crumpled up in puzzled expression as he tries understand what's going on

"I-I'm having my period and I don't have anything, I ran out" you winced of what you just blurted out

He saw the period blood droplets on the bathroom floor and your stained underwear

You got embarrassed as you quickly covered all of your clothes out of the way where he can't see it

"I'll be back" he says while he digs up his keys on his pocket

You thought he will be disgusted but he isn't "W-What?"

"What do you need?"

"Uh- 28cm sanitary pads with wings- um- that's all"

You're taken a back with his eye contact and he listens very carefully to you

You can tell he that really does care and it feels genuine

You've never met a guy like that and it made you love him even more

"Clean up and I'll be back in a flash, I promise, just wait for me, okay?"

"Okay" you say softly with a small smile

Eddie only knew about girls having period is normal, he isn't the type of a guy that acts like it's the worst thing ever

Yeah, it does hurts like hell but he doesn't horrid by it, because he knows it's the natural thing that woman reproductive system has....

He had no girl in his life or even in his family, this is the first time that he witnessed a girl having her period

He picked up so many advices from his uncle and his friends of what a girl wants and what a girl needs

Eddie stops over at the 24/7 hour store and he gulps of how many choices at the ladies section

But he picks the one you that asked for, he grabs more just in case, he also taken a note of how you bleed so badly, your heavy flow can't take just one only pad it could gush out of it

So he took the menstrual pants that costs a lot more than your usual pads but he doesn't mind it, the priority is to taking care well of you

He put in his cart some cool fever and balm oil for your aching stomach

He also grabs 3 ice cream pints, pistachio ice cream, cookies and cream, vanilla

He saw you eating those three ice cream flavors

He takes the white cheddar popcorn he saw you eating that as well tonight

He also orders chocolate mousse cake

He shoves everything on the passenger seat as he quickly turns on the engine and droves back to your place

It's been 30 minutes since Eddie left and you're in your bedroom and you're on your pajamas

A hot compress laying on top of your stomach, that soothes the pain a little but you can feel is still there

You heard Eddie came back and he calls out for you

You stand up still wincing at your stomach and you're limping towards at your door

"Eddie, I've been waiting for yo-" you paused when you saw Eddie carrying too many bags

"Are you feeling any better? I bought these!" He says with a cheeky smile while he raising the bags

He puts down everything that he got from the 24/7 store near to you

"I brought these because I-I've noticed how much you bled, I think you need these" he gives it to you

Your eyes glows so much admiration, your heart made a backflip of how thoughtful he is

"I also bought 3 ice cream pints!" Your eyes light up when you saw all of your favorites

"Aww, Eddie, this is so sweet" you say

He became flustered while he shakes his head shyly

"Well, I need to take care of my girl" he grins while he continues to show what he got for you

"My girl?" You raise your eyebrows "you never fail to make me fall in love with you, Eddie" you think to yourself

You watch him and you can't hear of what he says anymore

You appreciate everything of this

You smile in content and you finally found the one that you always been looking for

You're very certain of it

You excused yourself and you headed towards the bathroom

as soon as you walk out from the bathroom he asks "Doing alright?"

"Yeah, I feel much better, thank you"

"You know, I don't feel like I should leave, I could stay" he says, his guts tells him not to do it

You became light-headed as you stumbled back and Eddie manages to catch you again

You fainted right between his arms

"Nope, definitely not coming home just yet" Eddie says

He carried you towards your bedroom and places the hot compress over your stomach and he covers you with blanket

He saw on the bed side table that you already taken a medicine "Buscopan Venus"

He carefully rubs the balm oil on your forehead and you sigh comfortably

He admires your pretty face and how your eyelashes flutters while you're sleeping

He let his eyes wander around your room and he saw the guitar pick necklace that he gave to you before, before you left, his eyes became misty, you kept it after all this time

You woken up and the pain is now gone but you can feel all of your insides are grinding with such pain

The flow is coming out of you is real strong

You looked over to your side and you saw Eddie sleeping peacefully on the couch while he hugs a pillow

You change your position on the side as you taken a chance to look over at his features

"He is so handsome" you think to yourself

His curls touches his cheeks, you loved his scent, you look down on his chest you noticed some of his tattoos peeking out

You remove your blanket and get up and walk towards to him

You crouch down and you can't help but hold his cheek and you caressed your thumb softly not wanting to disturb his slumber

"I love you" you whispered

You smile and take a last look at him before you exit your bedroom

Eddie thought he might be dreaming he heard his crush says "I love you" he changed his sleeping position

You look over to your living room and all of the mess is gone

You chuckled slightly, Eddie cleaned up your house

You walked over the refrigerator and heard someone walking down the stairs

Eddie rubs his eyes and yawns "Goodmorning, what are you doing? why'd you get up?"

"For breakfast? and uh- goodmorning" you say while you grab the bottle of apple juice and placed it on the kitchen table

Eddie noticed something streaming down on your bottom and your period blood goes through straight to your pajama pants

"Honey, you're bleeding"

"What?" while you're holding the waffle batter

He gestures to your pants and you groaned and annoyingly

"Oh no"

"What?!"

You ran back up towards to your bedroom and you saw your bedsheets are now covered with period blood

"I knew it" you say as you remove the bedsheets

He tuts "I got this, clean up and I'll handle this"

"Eddie, you've done enough-" he cuts you off

"Let me take care of you, please" his pleading eyes convinced you otherwise

You sigh in defeat "Fine, the laundry is on the left side"

As you finished freshen up, Eddie is the one who cooked waffles to you

To your surprise, he is an excellent cook

Eddie and you both shared laughs and even eat ice cream pints with you

"Gotta say, I love the waffles" you say as you wipe your plate using your fingers to lick off the remaining whipped cream

"The pleasure is all mine, sweets" he says as he grabs your white cheddar popcorn that he bought last night

You take it and open it up and you shove your hand down on the bag, you crunch one popcorn inside of your mouth

You smile "why are you so nice to me? why is that?"

His cheeks suddenly grows red "it's because I like you" he thinks to himself

"I just wanted to take care of you, that's all" he says avoiding eye contact with you

You bite your lip and you think of your decisions

You have to tell him how you feel

Eddie's mood slightly changes, he frowns a little bit because he is a nobody, he is so out of your league

He is a freak and you're a popstar, little did he know that you don't care of what he is

What you do care is how he treats you like the way you wanted to be treated

He is perfect and he doesn't know it

It's noon and he thought he is overtime staying over at your house

He wished to stay a little longer or he means forever and you think the same

He waves bye to you shyly while he walks towards to his RV van

He frustratingly groans of not saying the truth to you as he opens the door

"Eddie, wait"

You walked behind him

He brings himself around to face you, he thought you feel unwell again

"Thank you, really, for everything that you did today and last night" you smile at him

You can't even bring yourself to say it

"You don't have to thank me with anything, if you need something, just call me, okay?" He says as he pats your shoulder

"Okay, Eddie" you say softly with a smile

You might get melted if you stare at each other again, so you turn your heel and walk away

Eddie watches you, you pressed your lips together and you remember of all the things he did last night and today

Maybe.... You read him wrong, he was just being friendly and you on the other hand expecting something more bigger than that

You frown as you reach for the doorknob you can't even look back at him that way again

You wanted more than just friends

You can hear Eddie's keys jangling and he opens the door, you slowly turning the doorknob of your front door open

"I wonder...." You think to yourself

Eddie shuts the door and put his keys back to his pocket and calls you

He ran towards you

You heard his voice and your heart stops of what you just predicted

You dropped your hand onto your sides and he grabbed your shoulders

Turning you to face him, furrowing your brows as you look at him

You look down where he holds you, he stares at you with loving eyes

He caresses his thumb on your shoulders

Before you know it, he pulled you closely into his chest and he presses his lips to kiss you

You yelped at his action as you watch him closing his eyes as he kiss you fiercely

Your eyes softens with delight, his lips felt good

He pulled back and you pout "I-I'm sorry, I really like you- I do- I'm crazy in love with you, Agatha" he stutters

"You like me?" You say breathlessly

he is afraid of rejection but with you he will never regret that he confessed it "Yes, if you'll have me"

"I love you, Eddie" you say as you pulled him closer to you

You brushed his lips with your thumb and you cup his cheeks with a smile on your face

His heart might come out of his chest, he easily melts within your touch

You slam your lips onto his and his eyes widened but he recovered

He holds your waist tightly and you wrap your arms around him

The kiss was so desperate but burning with desire

He deepens the kiss as he slids his tongue onto your mouth and you mewl

None of you wanted to break the kiss and it felt the like the world stopped moving for a moment

Your eyes became glossy when you both pulled back

You giggled how plump his lips are

"I-I don't seem to understand" he lets out a breathy laugh

"I am so in love with you, you have no idea" you say as you throw your arms around him

You lay your head on against his chest

"But I'm just a-" you cupped his mouth and you shush him

"You're perfect, Eddie, you're an incredible guy" you told him while you pinch his cheeks

He chuckles and as he places a kiss on the top of your head

"You're perfect, you're an incredible guy" your voiced echoed to his mind his insecurity removes it self away from him the second you told him that like it didn't even existed

"I love you so much, Eddie, if you'll have me" you say as you pulled back to look at him

You read his eyes and you can tell how radiant they are- he is the most happiest man in the world

"Are you kidding me? of course, I fucking love you!" He exclaims and you bursted out laughing

He scooped you up and you whooped in shock and you crack up at his action

You hold at him tightly as you lay your head over his shoulder and you kiss his neck

He swing your door open and kicks it close

He sats on the couch and he places you on his lap as he peppers you with lots of kisses on your chest, neck, cheek and your hand

You giggling "Stop! It tickles!"

He snorted "I love you, I love you, I loooveee you" he says as he pecks a kiss to your lips

"I love you endlessly" you say as he clashes his lips onto yours

You can feel him smiling at the kiss and you sigh in comfort

Eddie gave you a piece of chocolate mousse cake as you make a conversation with him

You ate it and you hum on how indulgent it was

You both have the same interest with music, fashion, movies, and life, you find out he was also bullied too

You also have the right amount of friends, quality over quantity....

You've never engage in conversations enthusiastic like this

He made it so easily when you're with him

You can listen to him for hours

Eddie popped up on the VHS player and it starts playing "The Godfather" (1972), you heard the iconic soundtrack while your hands on the sink and you slowly your turn around

He flushed himself on the sofa with his one arm extended on the side and he looks at you beaming, you gasp with a tender smile sitting on your lips

"Oh my... H- How did you know?" you say as you tear off a paper towel to dry your hands

"I saw your poster on your bedroom and I think this is the good time to finally watch this film"

You let your jaw drop and he chuckles "You haven't seen it yet?!?" you're so appalled

"I'm sorry" he laughs "I'm more like into horror, I dig that kind of stuff"

you hum "You're in for a treat!" you say with a wide smile as you sat down beside him and he wrap his arms around you

You look up at him and he is already staring at you "You should expand your knowledge in films too, you're missing a lot!"

"Yeah, I think I need to" he nods

"Oh, yes you are!" you elbowed his stomach playfully and he snorted, you scoff at him "you're so uncultured!"

He dramatically acts like he is being stabbed in the heart and you laugh

You pat his knee "Now, pay attention" as you point at the television

He smirks at you and he squeezes you

you both cuddled up together at night as he embraces you while you bury yourself on his chest

He snuggled with you and kept telling you that you look stunning yesterday and he is so starstruck at your performance

You grin at him and he is worried about your period, you felt a little dizzy, so he gave you a glass of water

"Why do I deserve to have someone like you" you told him as you place the glass on the bed side table

"Because you let me take care of you" he says as you scoot over to give him space and you throw yourself onto him as soon as his on your side and he chortled

You both said "I love you's" a zillion times already

"I love you, sweetheart" he says to you while he rubs your back

"I love you even more" you say as you hug him

It feels so warmth on his arms, you can't even express how joyful you are

It's 6am in the morning and Eddie shuts his eyes when he saw the bright sunlight at the window, he flinches a little

He froze when you moved slightly not wanting to wake you up, instead, he put his arms around you

Caressing your head lulling you to sleep....

Dustin is right "he is a good dude" more like the greatest

🎶"Just trust in me, like I trust in you"🎶

#eddie munson #eddie munson fic #stranger things 4 #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson cute #Spotify #agirlwholovesrockstarsfics

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feralgodmothers · 1 year

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I mean. What with his attitude crypticness and general personality. Luke’s nephew could’ve been part of a cult. Hell. He could’ve been head of a cult. I wouldn’t put anything past that kid. Except perhaps the ability to be kind to others. Other than that the moron was unpredictable.

You’re gonna get me assassinated today lol

But I’m 100% gonna take this concept seriously and analyze the crap out of it, because it’s fun for me (and what are fandoms for, if not to push canon boundaries and experiment with little fictional guys?).

So.

Do I think that (under the right circumstances) Jess could ever join a cult?

And here’s why:

I’ve always thought of Jess as a much ruder version of Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World. And anyone who’s watched Boy Meets World knows that for one episode - SHAWN ACTUALLY DID JOIN A CULT.

Now let’s dive a little deeper into cults and the people who fall victim to them, shall we?

I know that society in general (heck, even the show Jess is a part of), tends to look down on and make fun of people who get mixed up in a cult. They view it as something only “dumb” people do, because an “intellegent” person would never fall for that. But cult victims really can’t (and shouldn’t) be measured in terms of intellegence - but rather in terms of emotional vulnerability.

Now, Shawn Hunter isn’t stupid. Sure, he’s had plenty of dumb moments for the sake of laughs (because Boy Meets World is a sitcom) - but for all intents and purposes, he’s a pretty bright kid. He actually caught on fairly quickly that the group he was with, was in fact a cult.

But cult leaders are master manipulators. They know how to find emotionally vulnerable people who feel like they have something missing in their life (purpose, belonging, etc.), and they zero in on that and offer you the very thing you’re looking for in order to suit their own hidden agenda.

Now back to Jess. I believe it’s very possible that if just the right person found him at just the right time and gave him just the right pitch - he could join a cult.

Some would probably argue that Jess is too emotionally guarded for that, but I would counter it with: Shawn was emotionally guarded as well. Being guarded doesn’t change the fact that everyone has needs. And when those needs not being met mixes with you having trouble finding direction - that is prime time for getting swept up by a cult leader.

Now with regards to Jess being said cult leader, I’d say - close, but no cigar. I don’t see him quite fitting that mold. However, I do think that under the right circumstances, he could be a cult leader’s right-hand man. We’ve seen that he can be very driven and determined when his heart is set on a certain path, and he can even excel when he chooses to. If you took him with that same mindset/personality into the hypothetical situation of joining a cult that has an objective he believes in? BOOM. Right-hand man, easily. I think he could reach that position the same way he: 1) got employee of the month at Walmart, 2), wrote and published a book, and 3) started a business - with quiet, steady, diligent work and smarts.

(I know you probably didn’t sign up for a full-blown essay anon, and I’m sorry lol. I just thought about it, and became fascinated by how plausible it could be. 😂)

#asks #gilmore girls #boy meets world #shawn hunter #jess mariano

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eievuimultimuse · 8 months

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👻 and 🦵 for Baxter stockman?

MISCELLANEOUS SYMBOL HEADCANONS.

👻 - How does your muse handle feeling scared ? Do they enjoy horror ? Do they believe in the paranormal ? What calms your muse down ? Do they have any scary stories ?

i'll certainly preface by stating that i'm sure baxter fits the stereotypical 'scientist doesn't believe in the paranormal' image lol. i imagine he's always been the skeptic when it comes to ghost stories, always the first to be like 'that doesn't make sense,' etc. he just never personally understood them, that's all ! as for whether he enjoys horror...it's hard to say. i feel like he'd be pretty indifferent ? i mean, no offense to his kids, but like...let's be perfectly honest, is there anything that fictional horror could present that outweighs the sort of work he's doing gKJGHK LIKE....he'd be pretty unbothered by it i think. or slightly annoyed, depending on what it is ( i'm sure he'd have minor complaints about anything featuring a mad scientist, mostly pertaining to its accuracy ).

as for how he handles feeling scared...well, i do believe that when it comes to FIGHT, FLIGHT or FREEZE, he probably chooses FLIGHT everytime. that isn't to say he's cowardly — that'd be a complete discredit to his actions ( seriously, how brave do you need to be to steal from your own company ? so as to keep your creations from being turned into weapons ? ). it's just that the sorts of things that scare him — which are often very scary and legitimately dangerous — usually, the best, smartest response for a guy like him IS to run. i'm not sure if there is a whole lot that can calm him down in such situations; i think the anxiety of such situations leaves him with the resting heartrate of a hummingbird quite frankly ( /j ). i think the only thing that can calm him in such scnearios is the sheer belief that what he's doing will be worth it in the end.

🦵 - Does your muse have any physical ailments ? How do they live with them ?

well !! there is the fact that he appears to have some form of brachydactyly where his middle finger on his right hand is especially shortened ( i believe it might be type C ? pardon me, i'm definitely no expert so feel completely free to correct me ). i would think that this might make grabbing things a little awkward at times, but it otherwise doesn't impact his daily functioning ( as for how it impacts him socially...well, i'm sure he wasn't treated particularly kindly about it. i'd daresay other people have made him feel self-conscious about it before ). the only other things i could imagine that would be up with him physically are things that are probably typical for an aging man who undoubtedly works himself too hard and stands up for too long and hunches over too much, etc. sore back, poor knees, probably the occasional bit of wrist pain when he's writing for longer than he should. i doubt he's particularly great at taking care of these things while he's still actively working, although i think in the scenario where he raises his kids, he probably does take care of it a little better. makes it a point to wear braces, at least takes ibuprofen, that sorta thing.

OH ig while i'm here i might as well touch upon some verse specific stuff as well: living AU baxter does have a burn scar on the right side of his face. as a result, he's a little more sensitive on that spot and certainly needs to be careful with it. he takes care of it to the best of his abilities, especially when he first receives it, though living in hiding in a shipyard makes it difficult at times.

'07 baxter also has some scarring on his face but while visible, it's significantly less severe in comparison. he does, however, have the additional ailment of having poor eyesight in one eye ( well, extra poor; can't neglect the fact that he wears glasses for a reason ). he can still see out of...kind of, but he's partially blind in it. it takes a lot of getting used to when it first happens, but eventually, it affects him about as minimally as it could due to getting used to working around it. that being said, he does ask that people try not to sneak up on him from that side

#BAXTER STOCKMAN. / HEADCANONS.#BAXTER STOCKMAN. / VERSE 001. SURVIVED.#BAXTER STOCKMAN. / VERSE 002. 2007.#ASK.#ANON.#( wound up writing more than i expected lmao #ty for these!! < 3)#ableism mention //#ask to tag //#long post //

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antthonystark · 7 years

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My opinion on this is this isn't real life so no one is obligated to pay equal attention to all the characters, it won't have like material consequences. Clary is the biggest victim here but I'm gonna focus on Alec because he is my favorite and I think he's the best and most interesting. People who think clary is the best can talk about her. It's just funny lol people are acting like we now have to care about every fictional character in a tv show equally as if Clary needs us to give her therapy

yup exactly this lol people on here in general just need to get that this is a tv show and these characters are fictional like chill out and have fun it aint that deep tbh

like if it were even god forbid a cast member’s real relative who died, then it would be extremely shitty for someone to go “oh but how does my favourite cast member feel about this” because those are real people

but these are not

it’s not the same as someone going “clary’s pain doesn’t matter” or “clary’s pain isn’t relevant to the story” or “clary’s pain doesnt matter to me at all” or “clary’s pain is not comparable to alec’s (in that alec’s is worse)” or anything like that - if anyone is saying that, they’re dead stupid and wrong.

(and don’t get me wrong - i am actually very very interested to see how clary processes her grief for jocelyn, because based on 2x05 promo it looks like she’s not even trying - she’s literally just skipping straight to denial and saying “im getting her back”, she’s saying it “wasn’t supposed to happen” so that means it can and should somehow be reversed. like that is a really scary mindset and i feel so horrible for her because it’s just such a clary way of handling things - “nope. not accepting this reality, i’m making my own.” her stubborn determination is a double-edged sword, both a virtue and a vice - it has worked well enough for her in the past albeit with consequences (e.g. with simon’s death and resurrection) but this time it doesn’t seem like it’s going to. so the moment (assuming jocelyn is really dead) that it’s going to really sink in for her and she’s going to be forced to accept it is going to be so so so terrible and i just. my poor child. she does not deserve this, especially not after everything she went through to get jocelyn back)

it’s just. alec’s my boy ya know. i gotta care about him the most lol….im not going to tell a clary stan to stop caring about clary to worry about how this is affecting alec so dont tell me how to live my life lol

(and…lbr. if it was ANY other character, e.g. izzy or magnus or even simon, who was in alec’s shoes…there wouldn’t be anybody doing this weird pitting-their-suffering-against-each-other thing. people just have a problem with alec stans focusing on alec and it’s a standard that really isn’t applied to any others IN MY humble opinion)

#wank for ts #wank //#discourse //#it's fiction guys lol no need to take things quite so seriously #clary fray #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #sh spoilers #Anonymous

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1-800-iluvhockey · 2 years

Note

Insta edit of Luke dating Trevor’s younger sister and everyone is freaking out cause they’re finally together?!!!

here ya go!!! <333

tried some new templates for insta edits and idk if I like it yet!!

(this is set like post draft day (august 2021) & into the beginning of freshman year for them aka like september 2022 )

(all pictures are not mine and the storyline is fiction!!)

————————

y/nzegras

liked by @elblue06 , @lhughes_06 , @njdevils & others

y/nzegras - thank you for the tickets @njdevils !! & the invite from @lhughes_06 !!! (he also hates taking pictures with me so this is all I got lol)

tagged @/ lhughes_06

view top comments

trevorzegras - better be no funny business from either one of you….. but I hope you had fun!! 🤪

jackhughes86 - so this is what dukes did after media day?

↳ lhughes_06 - bro you were with me when they gave me the tickets and I said “y/n always wanted to go to a yankees game. I’m so taking her! let me call her—“

njdevils - glad you two enjoyed it!! 🤩

↳ y/nzegras - seriously a dream come true!! (also thank you for drafting lukey) @njdevils

njdevils - No.4 😎😎 ^^

lhughes_06 - yeah sorry that I hate taking pictures, but the game was fun with you (and the ice cream)

↳ y/nzegras - our ice cream runs >

quinnhughes_ - oooooh a yankees game ⚾️

_alexturcotte - @lhughes_06 you better text me like right. now.

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y/nzegras

liked by @lhughes_06 , @elblue06 , @_alexturcotte & others

y/nzegras - alexa play can’t take my eyes off of you by frankie valli <3

tagged @/ lhughes_06

view top comments

lhughes_06 - I love you baby & if it’s quite alright I need you baby……

↳ y/nzegras - I love you L <33

elblue06 - awe!! you two !!! 🥰🥰

jackhughes86 - OH MY GOD

_alexturcotte - as much as I love the fact Luke fulfilled his dream……. he is going to be killed soon LMAO

jamie.drysdale - oh trev is about to rage!! but you two are very cute 🤠

anaheimducks - lil zegras & lil hughes together!!!

↳ njdevils - I KNOW !!

quinnhughes_ - WHAT LUKE ARE U CRAZY

trevorzegras - YOU ARE BOTH SO DEAD

trevorzegras - PICK UP YOUR PHONES

lhughes_06 - well, it was nice knowing you all👋🏻

↳ y/nzegras - dramatic much, you two?

↳ brendanbrisson - no dramatics about it when you two have been pulling a romeo & juliet this whole time

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lhughes_06

liked by @elblue06, @y/nzegras, @dylanduke & others

lhughes_06 - kiss me hard before you go, summertime sadness……. (I just want to take her back to michigan with me… but I have to leave her in NYC)

tagged @/ y/nzegras

view top comments

y/nzegras - YOU JUST QUOTED LDR

↳ lhughes_06 - someone may have taught me some things in this past year :-)

jackhughes86 - YEAR ?!

_alexturcotte - YEAR🤨🤨

y/nzegras - yes, year 😃 (can you read?)

↳ lhughes_06 - LOL ^

trevorzegras - I’m so— CMON ARE U KIDDING ME?

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y/nzegras

liked by @lhughes_06 , @calliemcknight , @hadleyjane8 & others

y/nzegras - pretended to go to Umich, hung out with my old (but true) besties & surprised my boy !! (like look at him, my not so little superstar🤩)

tagged @/ lhughes_06, @calliemcknight, @hadleyjane8, & @blair_kingsley

view top comments

calliemcknight - umich blue and gold suits you!!!! 😋

hadleyjane8 - please don’t go back to school in nyc

blair_kingsley - the brunette to our bleach blonde squad 😌

y/nzegras - I love you guys but I worked my ass off to get into columbia <33

lhughes_06 - MY BEAUTIFUL NYC GIRL <333 thank you for surprising me babes (glad I could score a few goals for you this weekend)

↳ y/nzegras - I love you & I’m so glad that I finally got to see you play ncaa (in person) 🥰

jackhughes86 - forgot you went to columbia and I can’t believe you flew all the way there (by yourself)

trevorzegras - YOU’RE SKIPPING SCHOOL FOR THIS?!

↳ y/nzegras - we are on a fall break T GEEZ….. and yes @jackhughes86 I hated flying alone but I love your brother too much to not fly to him

lhughes_06 - sheeeee looooovesssss meeeeeee❤️❤️

trevorzegras - u r pushing it little hughesy….. hurt my sister and ur dead

↳ jamie.drysdale - oh the dramatics again

brendan.brisson - MADE FOR AA BABY!!

thombordeleau - bestie y/n/n came back to ussssss !!!

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lhughes_06

liked by @y/nzegras, @elblue06, @jamie.drysdale & others

lhughes_06 - my world in human form. <33 forever grateful that she walked into my life!! she surprised me this weekend at my games and I couldn’t be more happier! don’t want to see her go back to columbia, but it’s where she belongs! #mynycgirl

tagged @/ y/nzegras

comments disabled

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abbster’s taglist: @owenpwr @dylandukerr @pierrelucduboiis @studsccsnackavoybambi @pulpfixion @hockey-lover86 @hockeyboysarehot @hockey-lover-22 @bellaguarneri @juliasahoshughes @oskarlidblom @the-stars-shine-above-us @yorkshirespirlo & whoever else wants (you guys can private message me to be on the taglist!!)

#abbster answers #thank you anon <33 #1 800 iluvhockey insta edit #luke hughes

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makeste · 3 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 305: Worst Intervention Ever

Previously on BnHA: Shinomori, whose name took me an entire week to memorize, was all, “nice to meet you Deku, I’m ten feet tall, do you want to know how I died?” and without waiting for an answer explained that he kicked it from old age at forty thanks to good ol’ OFA. Deku was all “wait a minute, then how come All Might, who’s fifty-five and is definitely dyeing his gray hair, is still alive?” First and Shino were all, “we really have no fucking clue but we think it’s cuz he’s quirkless, JUST LIKE YOU!” So basically, since quirkless people don’t exactly grow on trees these days, Deku is probably going to be the last user of OFA. The chapter ended with Nana being all, “psst, Deku, about my grandson. Uh, can you kill him?” which is sure to lead to a very interesting conversation this week.

Today on BnHA: Nana And The Gang are all “so, Deku, how can we put this delicately. The thing is, we’re pretty sure that AFO really fucked my grandson up, so on the off chance you can’t save him, how would you feel about, you know... [throat slitting gesture].” Deku is all “idk you guys, I kinda feel like he’s really just a traumatized child at heart and he’s in a lot of pain and stuff and so I should try to help him.” The Vestiges are all “BUT WHAT IF YOU CAN’T” and Deku is all “BUT I WANT TO TRY, DAMMIT” and the Vestiges are all “well when you put it that way, we, uh, were just testing you, so congrats, you passed!” The chapter ends with First being all, “ANYWAY SO WHY DON’T YOU TWO SHY BOYS STANDING OVER THERE IN THE SHADOWS COME SAY HELLO” before we CUT AWAY FOR ANOTHER WEEK, goddammit.

seriously, Nana

just... have you met Deku?? look, if you really want Tomura dead, just sic him on the U.A. first years and tell Shouto and Honenuki that it’s a training exercise

oh my god lmao

we’re too far away to see Nana’s face here so I will just assume that she turned and is staring DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA for this one line lmao. “I just wanted to clarify in case anyone felt inclined to take my dialogue out of context and spend an entire week complaining about it”

oh my god?! are you all purposely trying to make me sad??

someone stop me before I launch into an impromptu rant about all my Tomura feels. WHY IS NOBODY STOPPING ME. oh my god but yes, exactly. he’s just in pain all the time. this is exactly why I think Tomura has such high redemption potential even though so far he seems to lack so many of the redemption arc essentials such as feeling remorse, wanting to change, and taking responsibility for his actions. the reason why I’m willing to overlook all that in his case is because Tomura has essentially had zero agency his entire life. AFO molded him into a killer by making sure he was in constant mental agony, and making it so that the only thing that even slightly relieved that agony was killing peeps. like, please don’t think I’m making excuses for him or anything, but if you take a child and manipulate their existence to make it virtually impossible for that child to grow up as anything other than a killer, and basically never give him the chance to be anything else, then no shit he’s gonna be a killer?? he’s basically never had the choice not to be. it’s never been an option for him. anyways I feel like I am EXPLAINING MYSELF SO BADLY but nonetheless I am prepared to die on this hill

anyway so now Nana is all “that’s a rhetorical question btw because Our Hearts And Minds Are One so we can feel everything you feel bro.” so yeah, that’s interesting

now Banjou is getting started on the “let’s try and talk Deku out of wanting to save Tomura because it’s insane” part of their OFA Mystical Space Void Reunion agenda

look, Banjou, I feel you, I really do. you guys don’t think it’s realistic that Deku can defeat Tomura without killing him. so if it’s a choice between killing Tomura vs letting Deku and everyone else in the entire world die, then duh, you think Deku should kill him. I get it! and if this were a real life mass murderer I’d totally agree with you. but the problem is that this isn’t real life, this is a sympathetic shounen villain with a tragic past who might as well have FUTURE REDEMPTION ARC RECEIPIENT stamped on his forehead at this point

so First is all “look, there’s absolutely no doubt my brother has fucked this kid up good and proper by now”, which, again, fair

though, that’s kind of exactly my point though. everything that Tomura is, everything he’s done, he’s done because of AFO. AFO has so effectively shaped his personality and his worldview by this point that it’s all but impossible to penetrate that. he’s AFO’s puppet. but the problem is that rather than treating him like a victim, you all are treating him like a casualty. like he’s already a lost cause. but good luck trying to convince Deku of that

WHOA WHAT, RANDOM SUPER-IMPORTANT AND BIZARRELY UNRELATED EXPOSITION DROPPED IN JUST LIKE THAT??

way to still not reveal Sixth’s name, btw. THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW, DAMMIT. but also so this confirms something we basically already knew already, which is that not even AFO can steal OFA. it literally can’t be taken away by anyone unless the owner wills it. SO SUCK ON THAT AFO YOU EGG

(ETA: so I have no idea why this was omitted from this translation, but apparently the Sixth’s name was revealed as “En”, which is obviously not his full name but at least it’s something. also he most likely has a fire or smoke-related quirk based on the kanji used, 煙.)

so Banjou is saying that Deku’s “lack of an iron will” could be a disadvantage against AFO. hahaha what?? Midoriya “I’ll break all of my bones without blinking an eye just to protect someone” Izuku lacks an iron will? do tell

he says this is going to be a test of Deku’s determination. well yeah, no shit. but just not in the way you guys think

OH HELLO AGAIN

darker hair again here! but I don’t trust the contrast in these scans at all after last week. his coveralls are way darker than they looked before too, and you can clearly see he’s standing in the shadows now

(ETA: yep, once again the raw shows that his hair is considerably lighter than what’s shown in these scans here. although there’s no mistaking now that his hair is consistently being colored in this slightly darker shade, and it’s not just the lighting.)

anyways lol First was saying something about how AFO can’t steal OFA, and they’ve spent all this time cultivating it as the ultimate weapon against AFO, and blah blah blah. go on then, keep lecturing

NANA GODDAMMIT NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT

girl what?? you did everything in your power to protect your family, and AFO, fucked up man that he is, targeted them anyway. there is one person and one person only to blame for what’s happened to Tomura, and that potato-faced asshole needs a good kick in the balls

NANA GODDAMMIT DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

SO HELP ME GOD!! I WILL GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST HUG YOU’VE EVER HAD!! THAT IS A THREAT

so now Nana is all “I’m just going to call my grandson a Thing to ensure that fandom has only the freshest, grass-fed no-hormones-added discourse this week”

I don’t even need to drop into the tags to know exactly which specific people are going to respond to this, and what kind of posts they are going to write lmao. everyone’s all caught up in the “that thing”, and meanwhile I’m over here completely hung up on this “nay” that’s appeared out of NOWHERE you guys. look at that. she really said “NAY”

Nana, my love, my dearest, I feel you girl I really do. but he’s not an unforgivable manifestation of pure evil, Deku is exactly right actually, he’s a boy in pain. you guys need to stop questioning Deku’s shounen protagonist instincts here and just let him work his sparkly magic. “let’s try and convince Midoriya Fucking Izuku that he can’t save someone” is a plan that is NEVER going to turn out well you guys

“DEKU GODDAMMIT WHAT IF WE CAN’T SAVE HIM” lmao it’s like an intervention

“DAMMIT DEKU JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE A SAVING PEOPLE PROBLEM!”

RED ALERT IT’S ANOTHER CLOSE-UP OF THE BACK OF MISTER TWO BON CLAY’S HEAD OMG

(ETA: I was too distracted with freaking out about Two and Three to really appreciate how ridiculously handsome First looks in this panel. but on my second readthrough it stood out so much that I had to go back and add an extra bullet point just to talk about how hot he is. look at him. wtf.)

THAT IS DEFINITELY AN UNDERCUT. THE PLOT THICKENSSSS. also those are fucking exhaust vents on Mister Three’s neck. MISTER THREE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO THE IIDAS, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRETS I’M DYING OVER HERE

so now Deku is launching into what will undoubtedly be a “saving people problems require SAVING PEOPLE SOLUTIONS” heroic counter-speech!

I mean, they can already feel the “lol nah I’m gonna try and save him” feelings running through him lol. ~OuR hEaRtS aNd MiNdS aRe CoNnEcTeD~ and all that. this is just a formality, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good shounen protag speech

oh wait hold up, do you mean to tell me that the whole “hearts and minds are connected” thing I was just mocking just a paragraph ago actually allowed Deku to feel what Tomura was feeling?? like literally feel it??

YET AGAIN these Tomura feels are pounding on my front door you guys?? they just will not quit?? people my house is already full of feels, does it look like I need you to sell me any more of them?? -- what do you mean, they’re free??

AW YISS THAT’S IT DEKU. THAT’S SOME GOOD SPEECH RIGHT THERE

I appreciate the contrast here between the Douchebag Triumvirate of Overhaul, Muscular, and Stain versus the Misguided Twosome of Gentle and La Brava. never let it be said that Deku doesn’t know the difference between a redeemable villain and an unredeemable one

OH NO -- OH MY GOD

someone please help me I need directions to the OFA Spooky Galactic Nebula Realm in this fictional Japanese manga land. it’s not on google maps. I need to give these two babies a big hug and wrap them up in a blanket and treat them to some McDonalds Happy Meals please help

other things: (1) ENDEAVOR CHILLING OUT IN DEKU’S “PEOPLE I HOLD DEAR” PANEL LMAO NEON DISCOURSE EXTRAVAGANZA, (2) “ONE FOR ALL IS A POWER TO SAVE, NOT TO KILL” I’M ABOUT TO CRY DEKU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO FEEL ALL THIS LOVE, (3) [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THERE’S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING IRON WILL!!!!!!!! -- I’m sorry, please don’t call security, I’ll be good

I just randomly remembered that Deku is still saying all of this in his muffled “FMMPHHMMPHMM” voice and I’m somehow cracking up lol. so actually it’s a very good thing Their Hearts And Minds Are Connected, otherwise they’d no doubt be all, “...what?”

(ETA: so I completely missed this on account of it literally not being visible in the scan at all, but in the raw you can clearly see Baby Kacchan and Baby Shouto fanboying over All Might in two of these panels, and excuse me, ma’am??

thank you very much Deku for including them in your montage, particularly since you’ve never seen Baby Shouto before lol. amazingly accurate image you managed to conjure up, all things considered.)

SDKFJLSKHG -- AS IF ON CUE???

HE’S SO ADORABLE HELP?? Trippy Space All Might looks like he’s about to cry, and First is all “don’t crack a smile... you have to be Firm and Serious here... dammit, don’t smile” omg

anyways! YOU GO DEKU. “MY QUIRK MY RULES, BITCHES” damn, son

KLJLKKHLG TRIPPY SPACE ALL MIGHT LITERALLY ACTUALLY IS CRYING ALL MIGHT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

“I JUST... [CLENCHES FIST] REALLY LOVE SAVING PEOPLE” FUCKING HELL LMAO THIS IS THE WORST INTERVENTION OF ALL TIME

Deku is literally all “sure, maybe I’ll have to kill him, but have you guys also considered, MAYBE NOT??” it’s no use Nana he’s too powerful

LMAO FIRST

“like I’ve been saying this whole time, you should definitely try saving Shigaraki Tomura.” “but, uh... First, didn’t you just -- ” “shut up”

(ETA: clearly it’s not just his brother who inherited those smooth-talking genes.)

so now Deku has turned back into a sixteen year old and his clothes have gone missing again. just OFA things

dskljdlsklgk

yes... sure... “testing” you...

HEY

FIRST OF ALL, DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI YOU MADE NANA CRY. even if I’m pretty sure they’re actually tears of happiness/relief. and SECOND OF ALL, “TELL MY BOYFRIEND I SAID HI” DJSKDLKJJL ANYWAY MAYBE GRAN, NANA, AND MR. SHIMURA WERE IN A THROUPLE

[SCREAMS]

WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE?? WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE!!!!!

(ETA: and two-to-one odds that we cut away to some other scene once they finally start to turn around next week. I’M CALLING IT NOW. giving myself a week to brace myself for the rage.)

fucking hell. well if anyone needs me I will be adding Horikoshi fucking Kouhei to the list of irredeemable villains, peace

#bnha 305 #midoriya izuku #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #shimura nana #ofa the first #banjou daigorou #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #'deku. sweetheart. your other vestiges and I just want what's best for you'#'have you tried... *not* saving people?'#only to backpedal SPECTACULARLY when he was all 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT SAVING THEM'#yeah okay guys #you're not fooling anyone #but it's okay I still love you

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bookofmirth · 2 years

Note

I was reading your conversation with an Anon about Elain’s choice and I agree with everything you both said, but I just wanted to add some more details! You were saying that no one knows Elain or cares much about her choices, which is 100 true, but I would also say that no one, especially not Beron would stand up for Lucien or make a fuss in his name over the mating bond. It feels so disingenuous to keep accusing Lucien of taking her choice away when he also had zero choice in the matter and he’s possibly the most underdog character in the entire series. He doesn’t have a home, a court, a family, or anyone to support him for that matter. He has two humans in his court which seems hilariously small compared to Elain’s arsenal of support. Maybe Tamlin, but right now he’s a villain and a mess. People also keep pointing out that Rhys is keep her and Azriel apart, but I feel like that was a very logical decision. Her mate is literally in the house and Rhysand must’ve felt something to wake up and catch them in the act. Telling Azriel to chill out and leave Elain be with all of the circumstances is quite frankly normal. But I really don’t think anyone would take Lucien’s side if Elain just made a decision. You know that if she rejects Lucien and pursues Azriel, Rhysand would protect his brother and his mate’s sister from whatever Lucien could muster up. And, especially the way the IC thinks of him (weak but with important insight as a courtier), I doubt any of them would be too scared to stand up to him. His connections as of yet are an asset, but I think his mind is what brings more to the table, political knowledge and analytical thinking. And while those are valuable, I doubt Rhys values him even in the same ballpark as he values Azriel. I’m sure Lucien will reach his full potential as heir to Day Court soon but they don’t really know his true powers and abilities, Helion doesn’t know his son, no one could accuse them of knowing/suspecting his true identity, and if the night court wiped out another son of Beron’s, it’d just be adding to the already existing conflict. This is by no means Lucien’s fault, he’s been wronged by so many at every turn, including Feyre btw. I think the choice solely lies in Elain’s hands and the fact that she hasn’t made a choice or didn’t even bother to know how to deal with Lucien is a testament to her character, that’s what she needs to improve from. I’m assuming that her trauma will be her catatonic state: she complains about never being seen, never being taken seriously but she also eases into that role right now and I think she will have a healing journey which emboldens her to take control of her own life, not listen to her mother’s toxic advice about marrying rich and being a wife, but doing things she wants, not waiting for some guy to save her, etc. I’m an Elucien girlie myself, but if at the end of that healing journey she rejects Lucien, that’s also her choice, just more informed. If she rejects him earlier, that’s nothing but her choice as well, but she hasn’t made one. I also don’t see how people jump to the stalking/harassing conclusion when he doesn’t do anything but give her a gift once a year. Sorry about this massive message lol but E/riel people have worn me down 🥲

It feels so disingenuous to keep accusing Lucien of taking her choice away when he also had zero choice in the matter and he’s possibly the most underdog character in the entire series.

The funny thing to me is that it's not actually Lucien who has "taken" Elain's choices - like you said, Lucien didn't choose the mating bond either, and he's been very hands-off for 2+ years. If anyone has "forced" elucien to be together it's Sarah, because sjm is the one who made them mates. And why? Because they're going to be together. idk why people wanna act like a fictional character is being harmed by their creator, but it sure is hilarious to watch in real time.

Like... people were bringing up those tweets from 2015 where Sarah said that Lucien would have someone special, at the same time she was writing the elucien mating bond and retconning Lucien's daddy so that Lucien would be High Lord of Day, so that Lucien's parentage fits into Elain's personality. acomaf came out in 2016. It doesn't get more ~obvious~ than that. Then sjm kept going with that in acowar, with Lucien saying that Elain needs sunlight. Why are people acting surprised that elucien are still mates. It's because Sarah paired them, for a reason.

So...... sure, people can act like poor little Elain has been victimized by the mating bond, even though there is zero evidence of that in the text, but sjm is the one who loves that trope and she's the one who mated elucien. Take it up with her, I guess.

Her mate is literally in the house [...] I think the choice solely lies in Elain’s hands and the fact that she hasn’t made a choice or didn’t even bother to know how to deal with Lucien is a testament to her character, that’s what she needs to improve from.

idgaf what people think about me saying this, but Elain pulling this while Lucien was in the house and she hasn't said shit about the mating bond was rude. Full stop! It was inconsiderate as fuck. I like Elain and I think she was doing this (IE almost kissing Az) to rebel against her perceived restrictions - doesn't make it any less potentially hurtful. And note I said "perceived", because her failure to assert herself is not the same thing as others' refusal to let her do more. Those are two things that have gone hand in hand to get her where she is today. Elain is the one who hasn't done anything about the mating bond. She has the power, the control, she's just not doing anything about it.

Does Elain owe Lucien anything as a person/woman? No. Does she owe him anything as a mate? Yeah, she fucking does! It's called being a grown ass person and recognizing when your actions, intentionally or not, are harming someone else. And Lucien cannot extract himself from this situation. He is literally magically bound to Elain, and so her actions impact him in ways that he has no control over. (This is why the situation with Mor and Az is different, btw, because Az absolutely has control over his own behavior in regards to her.)

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if literally the only reason Elain said her breathy little "yes" is because Lucien was there in the house. That's maybe an issue for a different post, though.

All of this is moot, honestly, because it's clear that sjm mated them to be together, she just hasn't gotten around to telling their story. It's annoying af, but it's a habit she has. She sidelines characters if they aren't the MCs, despite... books like CC and ToG where she never had to do that.

she complains about never being seen, never being taken seriously but she also eases into that role right now

YES it's totally a double-edged sword because I think that Elain did benefit from this, and now she's feeling stifled by it. She created this situation by being passive her entire life, and now she's understandably sick of it. But she can't act like it's not a trap of her own making.

And just generally, on the subject of Elain, why is it that people can like Eris and know he's a trashbag who has done trashbag things, but if we admit that Elain has been less than perfect, we don't "really" like her character? It's the double standards, for me. Sorry my girl is a hot mess but it's true. I can embrace the mess. It smells like roses, after all.

#elain #ask #acotar #elucien #lucien #my-inner-crisis

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kimberly-spirits13 · 4 years

Text

Batsis HC Compilation

1. Being the Artist/ Sensitive Also Kinda Scary Wayne Daughter HC (lol):

Warnings: Depression and anxiety mentions

· You were the first biological child of Bruce Wayne

· Well as far as you knew lol

· You were younger than Jason, but a few months older than Tim

· I suspect that if you were in the family business as long as Dick or so you’d have some issues

· Those would include but not be limited to depression and possible anxiety

· There would be happy days but it would still go downhill after a few days

· On the days where it was worst, everyone would pile in for family movie night

· Secretive person and would probably be quite and sarcastic

· Since you were living at the manor your entire life, you would’ve lived to see Jason’s death and it really hurt

· If you were a musician, I suspect that Alfred or Bruce would have walked in on you at the piano or something playing a terribly sad song about it or just emotions and they’d cry

· Something like the song “Beautiful Scar” by Alicia Moffet (sad one btw like omg)

· If you were a writer or an artist, just pieces describing everything symbolically

· Going back to the musician, there is a music room in the manor in my mind so I suspect that there are times where Bruce or one of your older brothers will carry you into your bedroom if they find you asleep

· You find it hard being a Wayne and all seeing as it’s like everyone around you is fake

· That led you to hanging alone a lot which concerned Bruce

· “Y/N, why don’t you go to the party you were invited to? It’s a beautiful day for one.” He said one day finding you reading in your bedroom.

You looked at him solemnly, “All my friends are fake and want me for money and clout.” “I don’t try to go out with them much if I don’t have to.” *Que protective batdad*

· The library is your home as well as the gardens

· Now public and patrol is a whole new story

· Riddler is your favorite villain because he starts good conversations

· Sometimes the villains have in fact questioned your health to your older brothers

· Riddler: So, does it concern you that Y/S/H/N seems to openly hate life or is it just me?

Nightwing: We all hate life, she just does a little bit more

Riddler: ...okkayyyyyyy

· You sometimes make very violent threats on patrol which lead to some interesting conversations in the vans back to jail

· The paps are literally scared of you

· You have given the famous Wayne glare but on level 1000, billions of times

· Very sarcastic answers to some questions

· When people on the internet come for anyone you love you shut them down asap

_______________________________________________________________________

2. Being the Business Woman

· You showed interest in the business for a while but never really total want to take over WE

· No, you wanted to leave that for Tim

· The boy deserved it anyways

· Instead you started taking extra courses in business and such in middle school and worked your way up

· While you didn’t like galas, you did try and make connections

· You went to either an Ivy Leauge or Oxford or something

· Then Wharton

· After that you were on your way

· If you already had a business it was booming but now it’s “extra booming”? idk but you get the idea

· HuGE

· Bruce was very proud and made that clear in interviews

· Your company works closely with WE

· Asking B for advice

· Paparazzi doubling down on coverage for you since now you’re bigger than ever

· Hosting you own galas

· You either have a big house and rooms for everyone or a penthouse with the same situation

_______________________________________________________________________

3. Being Bruce’s Favorite

· You have the best relationship with Bruce out of everyone

· He takes you out on father/ daughter lunch or dinner dates which is pretty fun

· He would never openly admit that you’re his favorite

· Taught you to drive

· If you ever need advice you go straight to him

· Best birthdays ever

· You go and visit him at WE and he lets you hang in the office

· There’s a secret fridge stocked with snacks

· Dad/ daughter patrol

· Read you stories as a child

· Legit might still if you ask

· You sit in his office to do homework

· Has come home to you spinning in his office chair

· Shopping sprees

· Interviews

· Very protective on patrol when it comes down to being in a ton of danger

_______________________________________________________________________

4. Being the Metahuman

· I’m thinking that you would have gotten your powers from a mission gone wrong

· It was probably involving magic or something and you were seriously injured

· I think that it would be fitting to be able to control darkness and things like shadows

· Everyone was freaked out including you

· You begged not to be sent away knowing what he thought of metas

· He promised that he wouldn’t and just had someone over that would help you

· Lots of tests at first and you kinda just lived in the Batcave for some time just incase

· After that you changed your costume a bit to fit to the power theme

· The villains were straight confused

· “Bats what happened to your kid? Why is she scarier now?” ...”it’s complicated”

· You know how in Young Justice, Robin had that creepy laugh?

· It was like that now but then shadows came out of the wall

· Everyone is pretty sure you made a few street criminals and Black Mask’s goon pee their pants

· Best Halloween fun on patrol now

· You scared Joker once

· The powers do sometimes take a darker turn and you had to learn to control that since it did come from a maliciously used magic

· “I can smell the fear off of you, clown.” You smiled and walked around him, shadows in the room, darkening your presence. “Uhhh Batsy, I don’t like this one anymore.”

· Hanging out with more Metas

· You and Duke are like best friends

· Gotta figure it out with someone am I right?

_______________________________________________________________________

5. Being the Author

· Your father does have presence everywhere, but you don’t like to think that that is the reason for your success

· I could imagine you being a true crime or just mystery writer

· Maybe even fantasy/fiction

· Jason helps you write them if you ever get stuck

· All of them go to your book signings and sometimes it’s embarrassing but also funny

· You love that they support you

· Care packages from Alfred when you’re on book tours

· There are typically also some more things tucked inside from everyone

· Staying up with Timbers

· Your room is probably really aesthetic just sayin

· Gardens and library is the beesstttttt

· Sometimes for books, you take your time on patrol and as a superhero even if you still do it as inspiration

· Everyone is like HoW Do ThEY COmE uP WiTh ThIS

· Hehe

· If you’re moved out I can imagine you have a really cool apartment or house

· Cozy and open

· *aesthetic*

· One time, Damian did a book cover for you and so since he actually wouldn’t let you pay him, you took him on tour with you

· You helped him make that his side hustle lol

· Alfred has all of your books in the library

_______________________________________________________________________

Okay so I could NOT sleep last night and was up till 6 doing this, I don’t mind adding onto it and I’ll totally take requests for this. I do hope that you guys liked this.

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sindrafalcone · 3 years

Text

Secret Valentine...

Fandom: BIGBANG/ Kwon Jiyong (G Dragon) x reader

Synopsis: Jiyong finally figures out his secret Valentine

Warnings: fluffiness, candy induced fluffiness

Author’s Note: Finally finished this belated Valentine’s fluff piece! Maybe Jiyong will leave me be for now so I can go back to writing Seunghyun. lol My apologies for the lateness. But I hope you guys still enjoy!

Suggested Listening: ‘Perfect’ by Ed Sheeran

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work. I do not own any images used.

Masterlist

From his place on the floor of the YG mens locker room, partially hidden behind some empty boxes, Jiyong yawned as quietly as he could & checked the time on his phone. 5am. That meant that most of the early employees should start arriving soon. He felt himself smile and excitement bubbled up in his chest. This time he was finally going to figure it out...

The chocolates had begun mysteriously appearing in his locker on Valentine's day of 2007. Bigbang had made their debut, but hadn't quite managed to find that hit song that he was so sure he'd be able to write sooner or later.

After an incredibly long and tiring day of dance practice he'd opened up his locker, only to find a tiny white box sitting on the shelf inside. The box was plain, not even a bow or a note in sight. Curiosity got the better of him as he carefully extracted the little package from it's hiding place, turning it over in his hand to see if he could figure out what it was. “Hey!” he called out to the other four men. “Did any of you guys slip this into my locker?”

He held the box up so they could all see it, but every man shook his head. “What is it?” Seunghyun asked, his voice a bit muffled as he changed shirts. “If I knew that, do you think I'd be asking who put it here?”

“Well, open it!” Youngbae encouraged.

Jiyong eyed his best friend warily, but decided he was right... the only way to find out was to open the damn thing. He slid his thumb along the flap and pulled it back. He had to fight the urge to laugh as the whole group crowded around him in order to see what his unexpected gift was.

“It's...” Jiyong was at a loss for words.

“Chocolate?” Daesung offered tentatively. “I think...”

A single chocolate truffle was all the box contained. It was sad looking and irregularly shaped, clearly a homemade attempt. Jiyong reached into the box with trembling fingers, picking up the chocolate in between his forefinger and his thumb so he could examine it closer. It was obviously dark chocolate, covered in a layer of cocoa powder. But it still had a faint scent of something else... 'Oranges, maybe?' he thought to himself.

“Awww.... Jiyongie got himself a Valentine!” Youngbae teased. “Who's it from?” the maknae asked.

“I have no idea.” Jiyong whispered, just before he held it up to his lips and took a bite.

Despite the yelling protests of his friends, telling him he was insane for eating something from an unknown sender, Jiyong was in heaven.

He had been right. The slightly bitter flavor of the cocoa powder hit his tongue first, followed quickly by the sweetness of the rich chocolate as he chewed the soft confection slowly. Only after he swallowed did he taste the orange and something slightly more astringent... probably alcohol of some sort. A satisfied groan came from somewhere deep within Jiyong's chest.

“Damn...” Seunghyun swore under his breath. “Must have tasted better than it looked. Can I have the other half?” he looked at the leader hopefully.

“No.” said Jiyong simply & then popped the rest of the treat into his mouth. This was his very first Valentine's chocolate and he was not in the mood to share it.

The guys just shook their heads and went back to getting ready, all interest in teasing Jiyong was lost now that the chocolate was gone.

And that was how it had started.

Jiyong had received “mystery chocolates” in his locker every Valentine's Day from there on out, with the exception of the couple of years he'd actually had a girlfriend. And on those years, he'd found himself seriously missing the candies. So much so, that he'd started to make absolutely sure he was single on Valentine's Day, just so he'd be guaranteed to get his chocolates.

Over the years the number of candies had multiplied and improved in quality. The second year, there had been four of the same that he'd gotten the first time. Each one a little rounder & more expertly shaped than the one before. And it had just snowballed from there... fillings and toppings had changed, there was now a mix of dark, milk and white chocolate. And, he had to admit, the candy itself had gotten prettier, more well made. Practice made perfect, Jiyong supposed. But the boxes, even though they'd been getting steadily bigger, were always plain & white with no indication whatsoever as to who kept leaving them in his locker.

Jiyong heard the door to the room open, jolting him from his memories. He watched as a shadowy figure crept into the room and headed straight for his locker. Patiently he waited... the “chocolatier” as he'd come to think of her, opened his locker quietly, pulled a container from her bag, and slid it into place on the shelf. Then she stealthily shut the door to the locker and turned around.

That was when Jiyong sprung his trap.

“A-ha!” he yelled in triumph, flipping up the light switch and flooding the room with the harsh glow of florescents. “I've gotcha now!”

You screamed and flattened yourself against the row of lockers at the sudden invasion of light.

Jiyong stood there just blinking, trying to give his eyes time to adjust.

“Ji... Jiyong?” your voice wavered in shock and a slight tinge of fear. “You scared me to death!” you held a hand to your chest, attempting to slow the frantic beating of your heart.

“______________-ah?” Jiyong asked, his voice sounding confused, but intrigued at the same time. He couldn't imagine that you, of all people, turned out to be his mysterious Valentine chocolate maker.

You'd begun working at YG in 2005, starting as an unpaid intern, basically running errands and cleaning. Through the years, you had managed to work your way up through the company based solely on hard work and perseverance. You moved over to working with the Coordi Noona's on wardrobe & then transferred to the set and stage team. Now you were incredibly proud to be able to say that you were the main set designer for all of Bigbang's concerts. It was a job that you loved and hated at the same time. Because it helped keep you close to Jiyong, the man you had come to love and accept that you could never have. So, you made a compromise with yourself to make him chocolate every Valentine's Day, never letting him know who they were actually from, because you knew that his rejection would absolutely wreck you.

Jiyong moved around the boxes he'd been using as cover and strode over to stand in front of you, dangerously close.

“So... you're my 'chocolateir'?” he asked with a smirk.

“I...” it was on the tip of your tongue to say that you didn't know what he was talking about, but you knew it was no use. You'd been caught & now would come the rejection and humiliation that you had been so scared of for years. That's why you had placed them in his locker in secret in the first place, you didn't have the courage to face Jiyong and admit your feelings.

He simply reached around you and deftly popped his locker open, reaching in and coming out with the simple white box in hand.

“Jiyong, I...” you started to explain, but he just held a finger up to your lips.

“Shhhhh.....” he said with a smile as he pried the lid open.

You watched as his face lit up like a little kid, looking at the variety of chocolates in the box this year. He pointed to a white chocolate one that you'd made for the first time. “What's this one?”

“Raspberry mousse.” you told him flatly.

“And this?” he pointed out another.

“Pistachio.” you sighed.

Jiyong took his time looking the box over, but the longer he took, the more his delighted face turned into a frown.

“Where's the orange ones?” he pouted.

“What?”

“The orange ones!” he whined. “You know... like the first one you made me.” Jiyong looked at you then, his brown eyes pleading.

“Oh....” you chuckled. “those are on the second layer.” you reached over and lifted the first section of the box to reveal the tier below.

Jiyong's eyes grew wide as he saw that the entire second box was filled with nothing but the orange truffles that he loved so much. Without hesitation, he reached in and lifted one out, popping it into his mouth in a single bite and moaning aloud, just as he had the first time.

You felt yourself shiver as Jiyong ate the truffle. Watching as his eyes slid closed in complete bliss and the sound of satisfaction escaped his chest. You couldn't help but feel proud that your chocolate making skills had managed to elicit such a response.

“They aren't orange.” you whispered, not sure why you felt the need to correct him on such a small detail.

“What?” his eyes popped open in shock, the moment ruined.

“The truffles...” you stammered. “They aren't orange. They're Grand Marneir.”

Jiyoing grinned. “I thought I tasted alcohol...”

“I, uh... I learned how to make them from my aunt.” you admitted shyly.

“And the rest?”

“Well, at first I just watched videos online and eventually I took some local classes on chocolate making.” you said quietly, not really sure why you were admitting all this to him.

“All that... just for me?” he asked, carefully taking the first layer from you & setting both down on the nearby wooden bench.

You just nodded, suddenly unsure of what to say.

Jiyong turned back to face you, his face suddenly serious. “All this time... why not just tell me, _______-ah?”

“I...” you briefly thought about lying, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. “I... wanted to wait until they were perfect. And I was... I was afraid you wouldn’t return my feelings.” you looked dejectedly at the floor, certain that he was going to try and turn you down as gently as he could. You couldn't bear to watch his face as he did it.

To your great surprise you felt Jiyong step into your space. One hand snaked around your waist, coming to rest at the small of your back. His other hand gently came up under your chin, tilting your face so that you were forced to look at him.

“They're already perfect.” he murmured. “They were from the very beginning.”

You opened your mouth to protest, because even you had to admit that the first truffle you'd left him had been positively ugly. Instead Jiyong slid his mouth over yours, objectively swallowing anything you were about to say.

The kiss shocked you at first, but once you realized there was actually feeling behind it on his part, you began to kiss him back eagerly. You wound your arms around him, pulling Jiyong even closer to you.

There was a hint of dark chocolate & Grand Marnier and you found that couldn't get enough now that you'd finally gotten a taste of him.

After a while, he broke the kiss and pulled back slightly, his lips still barely touching yours. “You were my first Valentine.” he admitted breathlessly.

“Really?” you gave him a dubious look.

“Honest.” he smiled. “You can ask the guys if you don't believe me.”

You returned his smile, leaned forward and gave him another small kiss.

“Can I also be your last Valentine?”

Jiyong pulled you into a tight hug, whispering into your ear, “I'd love that, actually... just as long as you always make me those orange truffles.”

“Deal.”

Jiyong exhaled a breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding and chuckled. He pulled back so that he could look at you.

“Fair warning, _________-ah. I feel like I should tell you to brace yourself.” he said, his face suddenly serious.

“Brace myself?” you asked, confused. “For what?”

“I have a lot of White Day's to make up for...” he said, winking at you before leaning in for another kiss.

#g dragon #jiyong #g dragon scenario #jiyong scenario #kwon ji yong #bigbang #bigbang gdragon #bigbang jiyong #bigbang scenarios #g dragon fic #jiyong fic #jiyong fluff #g dragon fluff

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excelsi-or · 3 years

Text

your type (pt. 6)

Hiiii friends, it’s only been like two weeks! Pretty good in terms of posting for me lol. I don’t know what it is about this story in particular, but I feel so self-conscious about posting new parts. But I’m also not someone who likes to leave things half finished.

I hope you’re all doing well :)

BIPOC recs: I actually have a few! Two books: Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 - Cho Namjoo (basically follows a woman’s life in South Korea and all the micro-oppressive things that women face in their personal and career lives); Winners Take All - Anand Giridharadas (a non-fiction about how billionaires create such a disproportionate world for us all; I love listening to Anand’s talks about this subject. I find it fascinating). Music: Cross Country - Breland (excellent country song); Boyz II Men - Kirby (I love this woman’s energy)

w.c. 2.6k

pairing: jihoon x OC/reader

pt. 1; pt. 2; pt. 3; pt. 4; pt. 5

The summer semester has her in the research lab 8 hours a day. Luckily, Jihoon is also on campus for just as long. His professor got him a gig working on music for a few groups in various companies. It helps get his foot in the door, and while the deadlines are tight, he genuinely enjoys working.

They take their lunch breaks together, wandering the green or just wandering hallways if it’s too warm outside. But since he doesn’t have other classes, Jihoon’s been chatting with a few girls he’s met.

And he’s told her all about them, so she isn’t blindsided if someone else decides to share it with her.

“How was your date last night?” she asks at lunch.

Jihoon shrugs. The girl had come over since Seungcheol was at Jihyo’s. “She was whatever.”

She lifts an eyebrow, eating the sandwich that Seungkwan made for her lunch. She’s now taken to spending the night at Seungkwan and Hansol’s when Seungcheol visits.

Jihoon sighs. “Jiwoo was uninteresting.” When she has no response to this, he pouts. “She didn’t really have any opinions on anything, so we couldn’t find anything to talk about.”

“But you didn’t just go for dinner.”

“She was fine in bed.” Jihoon shrugs. “Didn’t really tell me what she liked, so hard to say how she felt about it.”

“Ahh.”

“What does that mean?”

She pops the rest of her sandwich in her mouth. “I don’t really know how to continue from that.”

Jihoon snorts. “Well, you’re the one who asked.”

She thinks for a minute. “Are you just saying she was uninteresting?” She kicks him lightly under the table. “Did you listen to her?”

“Of course I did!” Jihoon sips his coffee. “You said that I need to look at people more,” he makes a point of staring at her, “and to be aware of my body language because it comes off as standoffish.”

“And still?”

“All she talked about was her dog. I love talking about people’s dogs, but not for two hours.”

“Dinner was two hours?”

Jihoon shakes his head in frustration. “The kitchen kept getting the order wrong. Anyway, enough about my failed date, how’s your research going?” He pushes a napkin towards her.

She pulls out the pencil she was using to hold her hair up. Her hair cascades around her and she begins sketching out her reaction. While Jihoon hasn’t quite learned all the chemistry terminology, he recognizes various things, specifically the compounds she’s working on. She’d taught him some basics about catalytic testing, using drawings to help him follow along.

Multiple times she’s insisted that her research is really boring, especially for people who aren’t in science. But Jihoon likes listening to her talk, and her research lets her dominate the conversation. He asks questions and clarification, and she’s always great at simplifying things.

Jihoon has learned that her amazing attention to detail translates well to analyzing his songs. And she’s always very honest about the parts she likes and doesn’t like.

“I have some finished works I want your opinion on.” They start to clean up their table.

She glances up at him. “You don’t have a date tonight?”

Jihoon waits for her to fall into step with him. “I do, but I also have deadlines. So, if you’re not tired later, meet me in the studio?”

She waves goodbye to him. “I’ll let you know where I’m at.” She waits for him to exit the building before going to put her earphones in. As she’s heading to the stairs, she sees Seulgi heading towards her. They cross paths in the chemistry labs, but have never been on real speaking terms.

She smiles at Seulgi, about to go around her like normal, when the woman asks, “Are you and Jihoon dating?”

Despite her earphones in, she does hear the question. She turns. “Uhm, no.” She pauses and Seulgi says nothing. “Why?”

“I just…” Seulgi gives her a once over. “You seem too nice to be dating Jihoon.”

She’s taken aback by that observation. While Jihoon has given off the hot-cold vibe, player energy, and a slight lack of communication skills, she can’t say Jihoon’s ever warranted a comment like that. “We’re just…” She tries to come up with a word. “We’re just friends.”

“You’re smart.” Seulgi seems to mull something over. “But smart girls like you have fallen for his charm.”

“Like… you?”

“Once, but I’m not talking about me here. I’m talking about my friend.”

This piques her interest more than she wishes it did. Jihyo has warned her against listening to all these testimonials of women dating Jihoon.

“Maybe you just need to give the man a solid chance. If you’re gonna spend all your time with him anyway.”

Against Jihyo’s advice, she asks, “What happened to your friend?”

“Jihoon broke her heart. He doted on her and from the sounds of it, worshipped her, but then all of a sudden, he went cold. Stopped answering messages, stopped picking up the phone, avoiding her in the hallways. Then he said—”

“‘I’m ignoring you now, please leave me alone?’”

Seulgi tips her head. “Have you talked to Wendy?”

She runs her tongue along her bottom teeth. “No. I haven’t.”

“So how did you—?”

“I met another girl he’s dated. And… he’s a creature of habit, so… figured he’d say something similar.”

Seulgi hums. “Well, Wendy refuses to see any other man now. But she’s fine, mostly. We just can’t mention Jihoon around her. So, just…”

“Be careful?”

Seulgi chuckles. “So you’ve heard the warnings before?”

“A couple times.” Under her breath, she mutters, “Maybe I should heed them more.” She gives Seulgi a friendly nudge as she walks away. “Thanks for the warning.”

“Is everything okay?”

Jihoon received her text around 4:30, saying that she wasn’t feeling well and would go straight home after she was done in lab.

“Yeah, I’m just… I think I’m getting sick.”

She had seemed fine when he saw her.

“Okay, I’ll walk you home then.”

There’s a long pause. “I actually caught up with Taehyung, Jungkook’s boyfriend? He said he would walk me home.”

Jihoon turns in his chair at this odd development. “Oh. Okay. Well, I’ll… see you tomorrow then.”

“Bye.” Almost like an afterthought, she adds, “Sorry.”

Jihoon turns back to stare at the pieces of work he has open in the task bar that he wanted to show her. Instead, he closes them and goes back to work.

Time passes without him realizing. Before he knows it, it’s time for him to meet up with Ara. He glances at the clock, thinking.

Jihoon (19:14)

Meet me at the gym?

Jihoon (19:14)

Hey, don’t think I’ll be able to make it tonight. Caught a cold.

Soonyoung (19:15)

Sure. See you in 10.

Mingyu (19:15)

I’m in.

Ara (19:15)

If I didn’t know better, I’d assume you have another woman in mind.

But okay.

Get well soon, babe.

True to their word, Mingyu and Soonyoung meet him at the gym near their homes. Soonyoung leads the way inside and they go stretch while Jihoon disappears to change.

When he reemerges, Mingyu asks him what’s wrong.

“She cancelled on me.”

“Who?” Soonyoung is stretching on his right.

Jihoon crosses his right arm across his body, feels the stretch in his upper delt and across his arm. He updates them on what’s happened in the last 7 hours, from lunch, to her saying she’s sick, to Ara.

Mingyu frowns. “I didn’t realize you two were still going on dates. I thought you’d already gotten to the… dating part of dating.”

“Wait,” Soonyoung seems to realize something, “are you seeing other women right now? We cannot win this bet unless you commit!”

Mingyu observes Jihoon in the mirror. He has a dazed look in his eye, as if he’s thinking hard about something. “You actually like her.” He turns to Jihoon. “You’re genuinely upset that she didn’t come to the studio.”

Jihoon wasn’t really frowning before, but he is now. “No. I’m not.”

“Wonwoo hyung said that he thought you were seeing other women again.” Mingyu turns back to the mirror. “I said that couldn’t be possible, because you don’t like to lose.”

“Can we just work out?” His tone is harsh, but his friends hear a small plea in there too. They exchange looks over Jihoon’s head and shrug.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Soonyoung nudges him towards the free weights.

It isn’t until after their gym session on their way home that Soonyoung and Mingyu begin grilling him.

“Are you seeing other women right now?” Mingyu asks.

“Well…” Jihoon adjusts his bag on his shoulder. “Yeah.”

Soonyoung and Mingyu’s jaws drop.

“Dude. The bet.” Soonyoung gives him a push. “What if she finds out?”

Jihoon watches his feet move beneath him. “She already knows.”

“She knows? And she still goes out with you?” Mingyu demands. “Are you guys just friends?”

Soonyoung groans in frustration. “Seriously, Jihoon, bets are serious business. We went all in on this bet. You can’t just let Seokmin win a bet like this.”

“What happened, hyung?”

The question seems to release something in Jihoon. He throws his hands up in frustration. “I don’t know. I really don’t. She just… holds herself at a distance from me. I can’t seem to…” He makes grabbing motions in the air. “Get anything out of her.” He shakes his head. “Maybe we should just give up here. I don’t know if I can win this bet.”

“Yah!” Soonyoung throws an arm around his shoulders. He squeezes his arm. “I am not losing to Seokmin and Seungkwan on a bet that I know that we can win. You are the best at this.”

“She’s just as good at keeping me at a distance. And apparently she’s also had men castrated before.”

Mingyu and Soonyoung blink in surprise at the sudden information.

“Okay, well, we’re not going to let that happen to you,” Mingyu states.

Soonyoung agrees. “But you’re going to have to start pulling out al your moves. You—”

Jihoon shakes his head. “Listen to me. I have been at this since February. The girl won’t even let me kiss her.”

Mingyu scoffs. “You haven’t even kissed her yet? You guys are just friends.”

Soonyoung holds a hand up in Mingyu’s face. “You are not being encouraging.” He readjusts his grip around Jihoon. “Look. We’ll help you then. Lee Jihoon doesn’t tap out like this.”

“You said she canceled on you.” Mingyu tips his chin in Jihoon’s direction. “Why?”

“She said she was sick and found someone else to walk her home.”

Soonyoung’s eyes widen. He releases his grip on Jihoon to get a better look at his face. “That’s it?”

Jihoon scowls. “Did I not tell you that I haven’t even kissed her yet? I eat lunch with her every day and then I walk her home.”

“Are we in the 1700s? What the fuck?” Mingyu demands.

“I can’t work out what makes her tick. She tells me stuff about herself, but nothing I can use. All I’ve learned is that she’s one of the smartest people I know, reads a lot, paints, and can give me actual feedback on my music.”

“Oh, come on, that can’t be all you’ve learned.”

Jihoon sighs, racking his brain for more information. There are obviously little things he’s noticed, like that she drinks a shit ton of water; that when she thinks something’s amusing, she lets out a little breath of laughter; or that she presses down on her fingers with her thumbs when she’s nervous. But he can’t share these things. They aren’t useful.

“I’ve learned she hasn’t really dated anyone since Byunggu. That she doesn’t even count that guy as a boyfriend so Jungkook is the last man she dated.”

“Byunggu… why do I know that name?” Soonyoung looks to Mingyu.

“Because he’s the guy who’s either been threatened, murdered or castrated,” Jihoon grumbles.

Soonyoung waves him off. “No.” He reaches behind Jihoon to hit Mingyu’s arm. “Isn’t he that guy who debuted last year?”

Mingyu’s brow furrows.

“He stopped coming to parties because he was filming some show or something, remember?” He pushes Mingyu, as if that will jog his memory. “He was one of your girls’ friends. Remember? She wouldn’t stop talking about him? That’s why you dumped her?”

“Oh! Yeah!” Mingyu pulls his phone out and looks something up. When he turns the phone to Jihoon, Jihoon squints at an article about this man who is currently doing small roles in various dramas. He doesn’t recognize the face. But until this point, he’d never seen any photos of this elusive ex. A debut would explain why he disappeared into thin air.

“What am I supposed to do with this information?” Jihoon pushes the phone away. “She clams up as soon as he comes up.”

“Okay, okay. Forget trying to replicate the men of the past.” Soonyoung says. “Just… be you.”

Jihoon stares at him in disbelief. “She doesn’t like me.”

“She must, because she’s spent a lot of time with you, hyung.” Mingyu sips from his water bottle. “Noona only gives certain people her time, if you haven’t noticed. Her girls, Hansol, Seungkwan, Wonwoo hyung these days.” He shrugs. “If you’re spending so much time with her, she likes you at least a little bit.”

Jihoon bites his tongue, annoyed that they’re right. “I’m only going to give this another month. If I can’t get this girl into my bed, then there’s no way she’s going to say ‘I love you’ first.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?” Jihyo asks.

The two roommates are having a night in, watching a movie but talking the entire time with take out on the table.

She came home looking preoccupied, so Jihyo forced her to put on her pajamas, pick what sort of take out they would eat, and to bundle up on the couch. Then she forced her roommate to tell her what was wrong.

“I don’t know. Do you think it’s a sign that two different women have told me I should be careful?” She pouts. “I don’t want to feel like I need to tread carefully.”

“I don’t know what Jihoon was like with those other girls, but he likes you. I know what a guy looks like when all he wants is to get you into his bed. That look on Jihoon’s face when he sees you is pure adoration.”

She carefully breaks apart a cookie before popping a piece into her mouth. “If anything, Jihoon’s just a friend.”

“A friend who adores you. Who you also seem to like.” Jihyo nudges her with the back of her hand. “You can’t go around thinking every boy is going to hurt you like Byunggu.”

“I don’t think that. Why would I think that if I don’t even give them a chance to try?”

Jihyo snorts, both amused and frustrated. “Jihoon is putting in the effort with you. You didn’t even give him your number for like a month and a half. And he still made it work.”

“I did that to keep him away from me.” She rolls her eyes, a slight smile on her face. “So, thanks for helping him out with that.”

“You still hang out with him.”

“You know, he’s seeing other girls now.”

Jihyo pauses. “Really?”

“He tells me about them. He had a date yesterday. He has one tonight.” She shakes her head. “I think it’s just better for me if we stay friends.” She notices Jihyo on her phone. “What are you doing now?”

“Asking Cheollie if Jihoon’s home.” Jihyo turns her phone her way, grinning. Seungcheol had sent a picture of Jihoon next to him on the couch. The two seem to be playing video games. “Give the man a chance. You don’t know what kind of boyfriend he can be if you don’t.”

#woozi #woozi imagines #woozi scenarios #Lee Jihoon #lee jihoon scenarios #Seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt

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suometar · 3 years

Text

youtube

Power song of the day: Wake up by Smash into Pieces

You can not resist, like a moth to a flame -- You know it will burn, but sometimes you enjoy the pain

This is your favorite game -- But you're gonna be defeated -- And you're never gonna beat it -- Controls you like a slave -- But you gotta stop pretending -- You won't get a happy ending

(Chorus) Someday you're gonna wake up -- Gonna wake up -- From a life in fantasy -- Someday you're gonna wake up -- Gonna wake up -- And realize it's not meant to be -- You stumble in the dark cause you close your eyes -- Guided by the sweet talk lullaby -- But someday you will wake up -- You will wake up From a life in fantasy -- Wake up!

You try to cut everyone out of your life -- So no one can question how you can believe the lies

This is your favorite game -- But you're gonna be defeated -- And you're never gonna beat it -- Controls you like a slave -- But you gotta stop pretending -- You won't get a happy ending

(Chorus)

You're in the fire, what do you do? -- You wake up -- The final round is waiting for you

(Chorus)

Why? Well...

I'm coming down from mania.

Which sucks. And here's a glimpse into my 30 or so years experience of this nonsense.

But before I say more I want to say to everyone who I have been venting during the last month or so:

Please don't think that you have contributed in making my situation worse. You haven't. The fuel for all of it comes from within myself. I am nothing but crateful that I have had a chance to vent to someone because otherwise it all would've just clumped inside me and that would've made the situation worse.

And besides, not all venting has been caused just by mania. When I'm manic it doesn't remove the normal thoughts and feelings I have.

When you're stuck in a tar pit created by a certain person for who knows how many years in a row it's obvious it's not just the mania. I think you guys know what that's like :D

Coming down is like a really really really REALLY bad hangover

Except that you can remember every single thing you've done, the things you've felt, the things you've planned, what you thought of. EVERYTHING.

And you KNOW they're all just a result of the chemical imbalance of your own brain.

Coming down doesn't mean necessarily that I'm now depressed. It's just getting back to your normal state from mania.

But the bad hangover is real. If you've experienced that you know what it's like. Regrets after regrets.

What's mania like

That ecstacy of mania is an immense rush you don't really know unless you've experienced it yourself.

It's difficult to describe, but I think falling in love really hard and fast is the closest that describes it best. You have butterflies in your stomach all the time, you're hyperfixating on that one person and you feel invincible, like everything in your life is finally perfect and you're in control like never before.

Or even better: It's like being on speed, except without the drugs. Overstimulated 24-7-365.

Hyperfixation is typical for mania

In my case the hyperfixation can be basically anything from men (real or fictional, doesn't really matter lol) to any action, hobby or even work, totally depends on the situation.

What I do is I dedicate all my time to that one thing and one thing only even though I know it's not healthy.

Thank god I've learned to control it so that it won't take ALL of my time anymore, but it still is there. And I need to cater it to some extent or I won't be able to do anything.

It's like having a parasite you can't get rid of but you can make it behave if you give it some attention from time to time.

What's real and what's not? That is the question

When you're having mania it's sometimes super hard to differentiate what's a real thought and what is based on the illusion created by your own mind. And even though I am nowadays capable to tell the difference of my real thoughts/feelings and the ones fueled by mania the later ones do have an effect on me even though I try not to react to them.

The tricky thing is that your body can't tell the difference of a so called real/normal thought/feeling and one created inside my head fueled by mania.

A manic person wants nothing more than get more of the dopamine that fuels the ecstacy. Which easily can lead to a psychotic episode/period.

The saddest part is that manic person usually looks and behaves exactly like any normal person. You can't tell from outside if someone is having mania unless they choose to show it. Psychotic then usually is clearly psychotic and erratic and behaves totally out of character.

Triggers for mania

Anything can basically be a trigger for mania and they vary from person to person. For me it's usually one of the following:

an extreme negative change in life (such as death, divorce or other big things like that),

finding a new crush,

intensive concentration on some activity,

social media, or

as surprising as it might be: music. Especially any with a faster tempo.

Usually though I have already been somewhat hypomanic before the real mania hits. Hypomania though is very hard to notice because I'm somewhat easily excited and impulsive already by nature.

But I've lived with this so long that I know when it's going overboard. My manic mind just usually chooses to say it's nothing and I believe it like a fool - because it feels so good.

This time the trigger for me was intensive concentrating on writing. While the writing was crucial in easing my general anxiety this time it had this unfortunate side effect.

Nonetheless, I'm not quitting writing. Because the anxiety has eased significantly from when I started. I probably need to change the subject for a while and not to write daily or limit it just for 30 mins a day.

How a new crush can happen when you're married, you ask?

Oh, easily. See, with a manic mind a marriage is nothing but an obstacle. Nothing is but an obstacle that is designed to limit you. Because you're omnipotent. And obstacles - well, they're made to be conquered or plowed through.

In my case I've chosen to keep my crushes online and physically as far away from me as possible. I've made a mistake of crushing into someone irl and that was UGLY for all parties involved.

Thirsting over someone from afar online while remaining happily married is by far a better option.

How to control mania or turn it off

Yes, you can turn it off. The problem with that is that usually manic person doesn't

feel like something is wrong, and

doesn't want to get down from the high.

But there are things you can do to get it end sooner.

Log off from all social media. Seriously. Don't just turn notifications off - LOG OFF.

If that's not enough, remove all the social media apps from your phone. You can always install them again.

Turn off your phone if it's possible.

Don't use computer unless it is absolutely necessary - like for paying bills. You don't need to find out what age Barbara Streissand is at 2:30am - or, well, ever.

Social media is by far the biggest contributor for mania. The apps are designed to give us a dopamine rush each time we scroll down any feed and see a new post. That's how they keep us stuck on them.

When you already have an issue with the dopamine rush using social media just makes it worse.

You won't miss anything if you log off for two days or a week. SERIOUSLY. But it will improve your well-being tremendously.

The absolutely best thing you can do is to create as dull environment to yourself as possible. That there's nothing artificial you can drown yourself into. Best place to be in mania is in the middle of the woods without any mobile signal - trust me.

Take up an activity where you do something with your hands. Hands-on approach is crucial.

Doing things with your hands will root you into the real world.

It doesn't matter what it is: cooking, cleaning, handcrafts, drawing or painting (NOT on a computer or ipad but with real pencils/crayons/paints/brushes/etc).

Remember not to do just that though. Go out (without your phone). Enjoy the nature. Listen to the sounds of the outside world. Don't close your senses with headphones. Read. Watch out of the window. Stare at the wall. Watch the paint dry.

LET YOURSELF GET BORED.

Just stay away from any electronic devices.

The hangover is horrible but it'll pass. And you will feel better afterwards when you're functional again.

------

It's not easy. None of us chose to live with bipolar. It's always inherited. But there are ways to work through it.

I hope this helps at least someone.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#bipolar disorder #bipolar #bipolar mania #coping skills #mental health tips #thoughts from the crypt #long post

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morwensteelsheen · 3 years

Note

farawyn and borodred for the ship ask game thing?

thank you so much!! :)

okay i’ll start with borodred because for some unfathomable reason i actually got there first —

1. What made you ship it?

One of my favourite Types of ships is the Elder Statesmen Of War-type set-ups, where it’s less about people brought together through theatrical romantic gestures and more about the steadiness of people who are going through similar (immensely difficult) circumstances, who know that in their hearts they’re always going to put their duty to that cause first, but still seek out human comfort in other people who will understand what their priorities are and why.

I think there’s also a lot of similarities about the kind of helplessness they both face despite having this tremendous innate strength. Both of them still have to deal with family dynamics that are complex (made more complex by the war) and that can’t be fixed just by their own sheer will power; both of them die these utterly unnecessary deaths (not that death makes a ship but I think in this instance it actually points to the constant tragedy these guys face); and both of them are meant to be the principal figures of their families and people and are ultimately sidelined by the cruel mechanisations of war and the forward march of history or whatever wanky term there is for it — my apologies to ep thompson's ghost, dont haunt me bro.

Plus there’s obviously the interesting thread raised when Faramir starts bitching about Gondor and likens Gondor (and by very explicit extension, Boromir) to Rohan. That always made me go ‘Hmmmmmm, wonder what else Boromir liked about Rohan,’ lmao.

Anyways for me the ship is the equivalent of Star Wars’ Kanan and Hera or (my OTP to end all others) Luke and Wedge, just people getting by on love and duty and without big ol fancy romance.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

The fanon, I think, really makes it, as with so many other LOTR ships. battlefield manners, by themightypen is essentially the definitive take for me on them — these two guys who are just so fucking exhausted, man, but still overcome by defensive love for their families, even if their (foster-)siblings are naïve fools. That I just love, love, love. Plus I think they’re unique for their ability to pretty comfortable explore the relationship between Gondor & Rohan in advance of the Ring War without having to stray too far into AU, which I always appreciate.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really, tbh, except in that I don’t think Boromir is necessarily as laddy as people like to portray him. I’m happy to play into it in, say, my modern AUs because I think that’s a fun and sweet niche for him, but I am a bit 🤪 about Boromir as this kind of reckless, drunken playboy (not least because I think that’s a much funnier niche for Faramir to fill, at least when he’s younger). Chapter Four of Swaddledog’s Hearts and Minds gets my preferred Boromir characterisation absolutely spot on, I think.

And now, sigh, the ultimate OTP, Farawyn —

1. What made you ship it?

For starters, I think I am obsessed with Éowyn in a way I’ve never quite been obsessed with any other fictional character. I came to reading LOTR at this moment in my life where I was intensely frustrated about everything — trapped inside permanently (helplessly!) because of the pandemic, just starting a new political organisation that I truly believed in but that was still making me feel like shit, facing down an untenable about of work, and, fundamentally, really, really hating being a woman and what that means. And along comes Éowyn, who is bitter, who is cold, who is ANGRY, and who doesn’t perform joy or softness or gentleness just because people expect her to. She’s this seminal Woman Of War in so many ways, I think the kind of person a lot of us wish we could be. She’s got her emotional taps cut off at the source, she holds her head high and faces down unimaginable personal and political terrors, and at the end of it all still has this abiding love for her family that, I would argue, is almost unparalleled by anyone else in the book.

After all that, she gets this incredible moment of emotional catharsis (or what we expect to be emotional catharsis): “no living man am I!” She undertakes THE greatest martial act of the Ring War, and in that moment there’s this unbelievably sophisticated dialogue happening about gender (“Éowyn it was, and Dernhelm also”), and leadership (Merry finding his courage not because of the immediate scenario of the Witch-king, but because he’s spurred into it by Éowyn’s presence), and love and care.

And then we learn that no, actually, this glorious act of violence wasn’t the emotional catharsis we thought it would be. She gets to ride to war, she gets to throw herself headlong at death, and in the end that hopeless act of individualism isn’t really what does it for her. She’s still left desolate and despairing, and actually all of her problems haven’t gone away.

And then we need to rewind a bit, because along comes Faramir, who is gentle, and is kind, and does seem to believe in joy, but not because people expect it — actually it's made abundantly clear nobody expects it — but because it’s something quite innate to how he figures the world. And he’s a huge fucking nerd too. I have a lot of thoughts on Faramir’s flaws and why I find them endearing, which I won’t put here, but almost immediately you get this sense of a guy who’s quite melodramatic, good humoured, and very much not made to live in a time of war.

But he’s also clear-headed about war and what it requires (tactically, if not strategically, though that’s a post for another day), but who is kind of cynical and weary of it in his own unique way. And it’s a unique cynicism given his personal circumstances because he’s the second son of The great family of Gondor, he’s apparently — though with some big ol’ question marks hanging about the extent — very able to command some of the elite units in the realm, and what’s more than that, he’s got all these fantastical powers (the light mind reading to start, to say nothing of this apparently magical ability to command animals too. bruh.). By all accounts he should be this brazen hot mess, but he’s not. He’s desperate to claw his way out of this war-torn cage of expectation his people have for how a man should comport himself in time of war. Is it a little naïve? Sure. A little fussy? Absolutely. But does it point to that same desperation that Éowyn has? Yes! But also the practicality, like, neither of them are really enjoying the circumstances they live under, but good fucking god are they both able to Make It Work.

So finally we get to the Houses of Healing and what is the finest and most aggressively romantic writing of LOTR. Seriously, it’s so fucking much. It’s breathtaking. It reminds me quite viscerally of this fabulous quote from Les Mis:

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.

At some point I will devote more time to talking about the two reasons line, and the blissful Queen of Gondor speech, but I think to me that big, important line is: “And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her.”

It’s not about Éowyn changing herself entirely (though, I think, it really does bear mentioning that she does change, and that’s every bit as important to understanding that scene as it is romantic), it’s about Éowyn coming to terms with how to live with herself as herself, and how to live in communion with someone else. She can’t just cut people out anymore, and she can’t just treat them as objects of infatuation as she did with Aragorn, she has to reckon with people as they are. And that’s sort of the moment where I knew I was about to plunge fully off the deep end with these two and never know a moments’ peace again, lmao.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Someone on here once called Farawyn a love letter to women and, by god, yes, exactly that. I love the capacity for emotional intimacy, that is beautiful in ways I can’t express. To me, though, my favourite thing is the promise of life they speak of. Not as in oh they shag loads and have babies (though not opposed to that, obviously), but in the sense that unlike Aragorn and Arwen, who are always going to be buried under/burdened with the crushing weight of history and tradition, Éowyn and Faramir are going out yonder those hills and they’re going to do some real cottagecore farming shit. Obviously with all the trappings of rank and nobility and whatnot, but they, unique to anybody else in the books, get to sow this new idea of what life should be. They are, outside of Aragorn, the single most powerful people in Gondor. Éowyn’s got the ear of a king, a steward (which is essentially a prime-ministerial deal here), and functionally her own prince (if the hobbits are to be believed when they refer to it as essentially hers). I suspect that, in life, there were remarkably few arguments she wasn’t winning, and that Ithilien probably trended towards the jumped up noble hippie camp Tolkien so desperately wanted Oxford to be (or, in other words — Cambridge, lol).

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Yeah, man, everybody stop treating Faramir like he’s a big fucking crybaby and Éowyn like she’s some kind of shrieking 2010-era tumblr girl.

One of the single most important lines defining Faramir’s character is when Denethor roasts his ass for always trying to appear noble and lordly, if you ignore every other piece of textual evidence we have about him, what part of that line makes you think Faramir’s some simpering daisy? And why would you want to link tremendous emotional intelligence and care with being too limp-wristed to function, lol??? Like I struggle loads with writing Faramir, because I have never once in my life tried to be noble or self-restrained, so find it hard to get into that mindset, but better, I think, to imagine him too closed off than to do this wilting flower song and dance lmao.

And stop making Éowyn out to be this over-emotional angst machine. She’s got problems, yes, and she’s sure as shit got a lot of angst, but at almost every point in the book where we’re overtly dealing with her emotions, she’s sublimating them into something else. One of the most serious times we see her cry is when she’s fighting with Aragorn about riding out, and after that moment she literally tries to kill herself. Those tears aren’t standard, man, that’s a real watershed (lol) moment for her. You have to read around what the text is saying to get a better feel why everybody’s constantly calling her cold and distant.

#god this is probably obnoxiously long because i can't do cuts on my phone #but refuse to open the tumblr website on my laptop lmao #faramir #éowyn #boromir #théodred #farawyn #borodred #god sorry for these fucking tags man im just trying to make my blog slightly more organised #i just have a lot of thoughts #i should really write more metas it would probably help my writing out quite a bit #asks #meta

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therenlover · 3 years

Text

Five More Minutes (aka A Ten Minute Break with Imaginary Zemo)

(So uh, this is a weird little writing project I did. It’s kinda experimental and a deep dive into my messy little brain, so that’s that. I hope you guys like it, because it was just a warm up, but I decided to post it cause it didn’t turn out half bad. Sorry that it’s uber specific to me, lol)

Synopsis: A writer imagines her muse as she struggles through anxieties and self loathing. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend you’re being cared for than it is to care for yourself.

Rating: T

Warnings; Swearing maybe? Vague references to depression and general trauma

Word Count: 2000~

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Zemo walks through the door while I’m taking a break.

He’s soft around the edges, watching me with a gaze that seems intent on telling me he doesn’t approve of whatever it is I had done this time. I simply regard him with a quiet nod and let my eyes drift closed once again. The bed is warm below me but a cool spring rain pours down heavy and hard outside the open window. I like to write with the breeze flowing. It helps me focus on more than wanting to sleep. This is a break, though; a small allowance of time where I can fold my hands behind my head and relax without worrying about my next deadline. I stretch my legs out further, recumbent, as he sits at the end of the bed.

“Look who decided to come back home,” I taunt him, “How long has it been? A week? Two?” The bitterness is a farce, a facade I put up more for my own benefit than his.

Helmut sighs before he replies, “I shall always return when you call me, Schatz,”

“It doesn’t feel like you will.”

“Despite that, it is true,” Slowly, from behind the darkness of my still-closed eyes, I hear the soft clink of china. Interesting… I let one eye open just a sliver to peer down the bed. Helmut is sitting there, eyes full of that special adoration he holds just for me, and in his outstretched hand, he holds a steaming cup of tea. Hedging my bets, I begrudgingly set my laptop aside and reach down to take it from him. Something is better than nothing and I haven’t had water in hours, maybe days. He knows that all too well. Why else would he have brought tea?

The first sip is taken silently while Zemo simply gauges my reaction to his presence. He and I both know that I can be… picky when it comes to his affections. If they come at the wrong time I am almost certain to deny him. This time, though, he arrived at a just-right place between sleep and work that allows me to give in to his endless and thorough affections. The tea is warm and sweet, and I finish the cup less than a minute after he handed it to me.

That makes him smile. It’s infectious. Less than a minute later I’m smiling with him. In a simple moment, all the ice that had built on my heart in the wake of his absence had melted. All it took was some good tea and his presence, strong and constant at my side, to ease the discomfort from weeks apart.

Helmut is the one to break the silence.

“Did you get my gift a few nights ago?”

I nod, sitting up a bit to scoot to the end of the bed. “You were the one who dropped off dinner?”

“Of course it was. I’m here to aid you, my love,” for an instant he pauses, something akin to jealousy flashing across his face, “I may be… absent sometimes, but no one else here can help you the way I do. I don’t really see why you keep them around, quite honestly. Most of them are selfish pri-”

“Helmut,” I warn him, and he backs off. He always does if I ask him to. His loyalties lie firmly in my comfort and my comfort alone.

“The point is, you are mine and mine alone to care for. If not always, then when I can,”

“Well, I appreciate it,”

A practiced hand makes its way to my bare knee, exposed by my shorts. I don’t complain. Helmut is here to help, and if rubbing away the aches caused by the rain is what he wants to do, I have no objection. His digits massage it with care. The constant steady pressure is grounding. To ease the process I beckon Helmut further up onto the bed. In just a moment of shuffling, I find myself between his legs with my back to his chest as he restarts his gentle probing of my knee. I let my head rest against him and just breathe. There’s a peace to it.

Neither of us feels the need to move.

Somewhere outside the room, we can hear Andrea begin to practice his violin. The sweet sounds are more relaxing to me than they are to Helmut, who hates the reminder of his housemates, but he can’t deny that the boy plays well. He would like to think, though, that he plays better. I don’t pick favorites, but it’s one battle that I wouldn’t want to miss, should things come down to it.

We stay like that for a while, him massaging my aching joints while I use his broad, soft chest as a pillow, but eventually, he speaks again. We both know what’s coming. I’m just not quite ready to acknowledge it yet. He always broaches the subject when it’s time.

He knows I couldn’t do it if I tried.

“You’re pushing me out again,” his voice is a low hum, “why must you always push me out just when I’ve gotten close to you?” He presses soft kisses to my hair as I sigh. It’s my turn for words but I know I can’t say them. Not to him and not to anyone else. Instead, I let myself turn cold again.

“Maybe if you were more useful, I’d keep you around more often. Besides, you’re a grown man. You can come and go as you please. If you wanted to stay, you would,”

“We both know that’s not true,”

Helmut’s right. He always is. That doesn’t mean I ever listen to him, but when he softly coos in my ear about eating or resting he’s always right, I always need it. Sometimes I think it would be better if I gave in. I never do though, it’s not worth the fallout that would follow.

Still, I let myself get a bit closer to giving in this time. Just close enough that I won’t feel so raw once he’s gone again. A modicum of extra comfort can be allowed from time to time if used sparingly, and I take the word sparingly very seriously.

“Five more minutes,” I whisper into his warm skin, “Please, I just want five more minutes,” It’s not a question, it’s a plea, and not to him. No, it’s a plea to the universe, to the cruel god that separates us…

To myself.

Helmut removes his hand from its place rubbing out the aches in my wrists and lets his arms wrap around me, encasing me in his warmth and holding me tight to his body. He’s warm. So, so warm against the frosty chill of my own skin.

“Of course, Schatz. I will always have five more minutes for you,”

If Helmut had his way, he’d have every minute of my day. He doesn’t, though. He can’t. Five extra will just have to do until he finds a way to creep back through my door and into my good graces. Then we will have five more minutes again and again until there’s nothing left of us and no more minutes left to spend. Until then, the game goes on.

Outside, the rain pick’s up its pitter-pattering into a full downpour.

The water comes in through the opened window, but neither of us moves to close it. Water damage doesn’t matter where we are anyway. Especially not when the timer is ticking down.

I cry when I croak out words again.

“I don’t understand why I can’t let you stay,” I say, throat dry with angry tears, “I don’t understand why I do this to myself,”

It’s a lie, we both know exactly why I push him away, but Helmut bites his tongue. We don’t speak of those things, the things that creep deep in my mind and pull the strings of my marionette. That’s not his job. Part of me wishes it was.

Instead of trying to explain away my reasons for doing what I do, though, Helmut simply holds me tighter. “Someday, you won’t have to. You will be happy, Schatz; happy and free to rest whenever you feel the need to. I may not be here to see it, but it will happen, and when it does you’ll know just how proud I am of you,”

“You promise?”

“I promise,”

His heart thuds heavy under my ear, his weight a constant against my shoulders. If I close my eyes tight enough I can hear him humming a tune. The clock ticks down the seconds till his departure. I cling to him for every last second that I can.

“Should I send someone else in when I leave?” He asks softly.

I shake my head no.

“Not even Laszlo?”

“Not even Laszlo,” I sigh. What I don’t say is that the pain of his absence will numb me of everything once he’s gone. What he doesn’t need to know can’t hurt him. Instead, I offer up some half-assed explanation from nowhere, just to make myself feel better about the lie. “He only helps me write the academic stuff. Fiction isn’t his wheelhouse,”

“Ah,” Helmut whispers, and as he does I can feel him start to shift away. Five minutes always pass too fast in the arms of a lover. I wipe my tears as he collects my teacup. “When will you call me back to you,”

“Soon, I hope,”

“But when?”

He asks not for himself, but for me, because he knows what happens when I don’t call him back to me. He’s seen it in the circles rimming my eyes and the ribs that jut painfully from my skin and most of all in the wheezing coughs and winces that escape my lips when I breathe too deep. It’s my choice to make, though, and mine alone.

I hate that I can’t give him a straight answer.

“Maybe tonight, if I’m lucky, you can come in and hold me while I sleep,” It’s an empty promise, just short of a lie. It doesn’t matter though. It’s as close to the truth as I can bear to acknowledge for myself when my eyelids droop lower by the second. Unfortunately, I probably won’t sleep at all.

“No dinner?” There’s no disappointment in Helmut’s voice, but I wish there was. Instead I’m met with acceptance. he knows me well enough that there is no fighting my self destruction, only easing it.

“I’m too behind,” I explain, “It would take too much time. This break was already pushing it. I have three fics to finish by Friday and if I don’t…” The consequence went unsaid.

Helmut nods, stoic. “I shall see you again when you call on me next, Schatz,”

With that, he’s gone again and I’m alone. The chill from the rain sinks deep in my bones as I scrub the remaining tears and sleep from my eyes before grabbing my laptop again. Maybe if I worked a little harder, I could manage to sleep through the night or eat a whole meal. Helmut would be back then, as real as I could will him to be, to serve as a reminder and a companion through it all.

The words on the screen seem like a foreign language. Sleep that has evaded me for days threatens to creep into my mind but I shove it out forcefully and turn up the brightness. Sleep won’t help me now, not with the aching in my heart that screams at the slightest bit of rest. The ache doesn’t have a name like the self care does, or the softness or the anger or the book-smarts. The ache is just me.

The rest are too, but less so. They’re easier to accept that way.

I push on.

Just a little more work… just a couple more tens of thousands of words…

Alone again and wetted by rain and tears, I weep and write.

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a/n: Basically, Helmut is a personification of my ability to care for myself. I always want to, and I resent myself for not doing it more, but I just... can’t. Andrea and Laszlo are both also technically representative of feelings in my brain, but those feelings aren’t specified here. I hope you enjoyed that weird little ramble, though! It was nice to deep dive into my brain in a weird way and do some good, old fashioned therapy writing. I’m a slut for a good extended metaphor.

#jac rambles #jac talks about zemo #I don't blame you if you don't read this #technically its a reader insert I guess #even if its an uber specific one

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msmarvelwrites · 4 years

Text

The Winter Soldier - Part 15

Info: A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn’t and because of that, everything you knew was about to change.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: swearing, gun violence.

W/c: 2.9k

A/n: I’m double posting for @kalesrebellion because she called me out. So here you go babe. Also, I did an embarassing amount of research trying to come up with the basics for the serum. But I concluded that this is fiction and it doesnt really matter. But if you’re ur a science major and this doesnt make sense please dont come for me lol

There are moments in your life that define you. Moments you look back on after everything and wonder, if you had listened to your gut, maybe it would be different. This was one of those moments. Bucky’s world shattered around him as Natasha’s words rang through his comm.

“We’ve been compromised, Buck. I’ve been hit. They got Y/n.” Her voice, broken and solemn.

No.

Dammit, NO.

This isn't how this was supposed to happen. This was an easy job. Only a few Hydra agents resided in this compound. The whole thing felt like a dream. One he was completely and utterly unprepared to handle. How could he let this happen. He should have been there.

“Dammit. What's your location? I'm coming to you.” He shouted. His blood began to boil and he heard your heavy breathing on the other side. You were running. “Y/n, please come in. Please, doll. Where are you?” Bucky hated how broken he sounded. He knew the rest of the team could hear his begging, but he didnt care. He couldn't. He just needed to get to you.

“You always were a fighter. Right till the bitter end.” A man’s muffled voice came through his comm. He didn't recognize it as anyone he knew, but there was something familiar about it. A distant memory he couldn't quite piece together. Before he could speak, your voice broke though, a small whisper shattering his heart and sending him into a blind rage.

“Bucky” You breathed, choking on a cough.

“Y/n. I’m coming to you, doll. Don't worry, I've got you. I’m going to get you out of this. Don't worry, I’m coming.” He pleaded, but was only met with static, and then finally silence. The rest of the team kept quiet, waiting for any kind of sign of life from you. When none came, Nat spoke up.

“Guys, we gotta get out of here. They've set off a security alert, this place is going to blow in three minutes.” Her voice was now back to its usual tone, but Bucky knew better. She was scared, he could hear it. “ There’s no sign of her out here. She’s just… gone.” He could hear that she was running now.

“Bucky, we gotta go.” Steve spoke from beside him. Bucky’s head snapped to his friend, eyes wide and body still frozen.

“We can't leave. Not without her.” He all but begged.

“You heard Natasha, she’s on her way.” He paused, “Nat, you got the files?” He spoke into his earpiece, motioning Bucky to follow him to the entrance they had come through.

“Yeah, I have them. Thanks for asking by the way. I’m great, two more bullet holes in my gut, but yeah, files are more important.” She scoffed, causing Steve to roll his eyes. “I’m headed to the entrance right now.”

“No, I’m not leaving without Y/n!” Bucky tried to pull away from Steve, but he was stronger. A fact he would never admit to the guy, his head was already big enough.

“She’s not here Buck. They wouldn't blow the compound with her in it.” He persisted.

Sam’s voice interjected, “Jet’s fired up, you guys better get the fuck outta there. We have less than a minute.”

Bucky and Steve ran through the dark hallways together until they almost slammed into Nat’s small frame. He gasped when she appeared in the hollow moonlight. Her face was contorted in pain, something he was all too familiar with. Guilt.

“I lost her. I’m so sorry, it was my job to-” She broke off into a sob. Bucky wanted to agree. Yell that if she was a better agent- a better person his girl would be coming home with them. But he couldn't... This was on him. He knew it was a bad idea to bring you on the mission. He deserved all the blame.

“She’s not dead. Not yet anyways. But we will be if we don't get out of here.” Steve yelled over the alarms blaring in the hallway.

Bucky and Nat both nodded, and followed Steve across the field. Before they could reach the jet, the warehouse behind them rumbled before letting out an earth shattering explosion, sending the two of them flying into the ground. Without hesitation, Bucky grabbed Natasha's hand and pulled her from the ground. He wrapped her arm around his shoulder and all but dragged her body onto the jet.

“Vision’s been alerted we need medical. He’s been staying at a safe house in Munich. We can be there in thirty minutes.” Steve spoke urgently, rifling through the cabinets of the jet looking for the first aid kit.

“Seriously guys, it's a flesh wound. I’m- Ah!” Nat screamed in pain as the jet hit a spout of turbulence.

“Like you were saying.” Wanda smirked, placing her hands carefully on Nats' wound. Her hands glowed a deep red as she tried to relieve the pain. The spy’s face relaxed, but only for a moment before she was back to worried.

“He’s alive, Buck.” Nat spoke, and when she did, he could hear the fear in her words.

“Who?” Steve demanded, but Nat’s eyes stayed put on Bucky’s.

“Tommy. She said his name in the hallway. It was him, Buck. He’s not dead. He’s the one that shot me, the one that took her.” Nat flinched in pain as Wanda's hands fell from her side.

“That’s not possible.” Bucky shook his head. “Steve found my mission file. I killed him. I remembered it. You just don't walk away from that.”

“Well, clearly you do.” Nat spoke sarcastically, pointing to the gushing holes in the body.

“So Tommy’s alive? And he’s Hydra now?” Wanda asked, suddenly realising her hands were not on Nat’s wounds anymore. She placed them back silently apologising.

“And he’s got Y/n.” Bucky added, his jaw clenched in anger.

“We’ll get her back.” Steve spoke. He placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder which he quickly shrugged off, pacing back and forth through the small aircraft.

“I know we will. And i’m going to finish the fucking job and tear that prick in two.” He seethed, mostly to himself.

He tried to focus on the task at hand. Desperately brainstorming how to get to you, but his mind was spirling. How could he just leave you? How could he have been so stupid? The sound of his name leaving your lips echoed around him, only fuling his growing rage.

“All our tactical suits have hidden trackers in the sleeves. We will hear it go off, but until then we wait. They cant have gotten far.” Steve started as the jet began its descent. “We're almost at the safe house. We’ll track her from there. In the morning, we’ll head out.”

“Morning? That's too long. She could be-'' Bucky cut himself off, too broken at the thought to finish that sentence. “I’ll find her myself tonight.” He grumbled.

“Oh no you don’t. We’re a team, Buck. We do this together. Vision will be able to enable her tracker. But we need to work together. We can't lose anybody else to impulse decisions.” Steve scolded.

He knew his friend was right but it didn't make it any easier to agree. All Bucky wanted to go but get you back. Keep you safe and never let anyone touch you again. He tried to keep his distance before, he really did, but that was out the window now. There wasn't a chance in hell he was leaving your side after this. As for the man that ripped you from his grasp, oh boy… He tried not to make a habit out of fantasizing murder, mostly as it resulted in the Winter Soldier coming out of the shadows, but if that was the case with Tommy, so be it. Only when Bucky stood in a pile or carnage and gore and blood would he finally feel peace again...

“We're coming up on the safe house. Y'all ready to bail?” Sam's voice tore Bucky out of his thoughts, and thankfully so. He was sure it was leading to a very destructive path.

“Buck, help us get Nat inside. Wanda and Sam - sweep the area, make sure no one has followed us. I’ll fill Vision in on what's happened and see if he can turn on Y/n’s tracker now.” Steve commanded as he hopped out of the jet.

“Can you stand?” Bucky asked, dipping down to tuck Nats arm around his shoulder, helping her up. She nodded reluctantly, wincing in pain as she moved.

The safe house was a small cabin in the middle nowhere. Munich was only a few minutes down the road but the thick coverage of trees that surrounded the cabin made it feel secluded and hard to be spotted from above. If they weren't followed, no one would ever know they were here.

Bucky helped Nat inside, letting Steve and Wanda take over once they were through the door. Before he could enter, he stopped, taking a moment to gaze upon the sun rising over the mountains. In a few hours, he’d be with you again. He just had to make it until then, and pray to whatever god would still have him, that you were alive.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Продолжай копать. Нам надо её найти.” Keep digging. We have to find it. The voice rang in your mind, waking you from the recurring nightmare. Visions of Tommy and that boyish smile that once brought so much happiness.. His voice, the way it used to say your name, now only causing you ache.

“Wait, rewind there! Вернись. That’s it.” The voice spoke again, echoing around the room. You opened your eyes slowly, taking in your surroundings, but all you were met with was darkness. You could feel movement around you, but the blindfold tied around your eyes masked their faces.

“I’m positive she told me what was in that serum.” His voice caused your heart to just about leap from your chest. You knew that voice anywhere.

“You better be right. You're as good as dead to me otherwise.” Another man spoke.

“No I’m sure. Wait! Right there. Replay that part.” Tommy asserted.

Suddenly a headache burned through your temples, scorching the inside of your eyes. You screamed in pain as it coarsed though your body until an image appeared in your mind. It replayed over and over, making you dizzy.

“Whatcha doing?” Tommy cooed, taking a seat on your desk.

“Just trying to find the right components.” You spoke, not taking your eyes microscope as you examined the petri dish below.

“Cummon, baby. You've been at this for hours. Come eat something.” You looked up, Tommy stood there with that big goofy smile you loved so much.

“I’ve almost got it. Just a little longer.” You reassured him, rolling in your chair and picking up another sample and analysing it.

“What exactly is, it?” he asked, emphasizing the word.

“If I mix the steroid with-”

Another shrieking jolt of pain seared through you as the memory disappeared, leaving you trembling.

“Go back, we almost had it!” Someone yelled from beside you.

You tried to scream, to beg them to stop, but it was no use. Before you could try again, the same horrible pain erupted through your body, ripping you back to the distant memory.

“If I mix the steroid with human blood, it does as it's designed. But taking into account the theory of nuclear transmutation, we can assume given the right element we can use the serum to absorb its surroundings, right?” You spoke, like it was common sense.

“Sure…” Tommy chuckled.

“So, strip down the original serum, add radiation to its compound, now it needs the ability to absorb energy… What element do we know has that power?” it wasn't a question, nor did you think Tommy would know the answer so you continued, “Water, and our bodies are basically made of that. So in turn, if we can create the original serum mixed with high levels of radiation, inject the person, granted you're not killed by that high levels of toxicity, we're looking at a new type of Super Soldier. One that could, in theory, mutate around the serum and absorb its surroundings!” You finally finished.

“I have no idea what any of that means… But it sounds cool. Now put the vile down, and eat something.” He laughed, grabbing the sample out of your hands and carefully placing it on the table next to you.

“Thats it!” Someone shouted. “Of course, why didn't we think of this. Call the commander, tell him we found it.”

You felt your body twist in agony, but soon the memory left, leaving you back in the dark with disembodied voices echoing around you.

“What do you want me to do with her?” a man asked.

“I don't care. убить её?” Kill her? You froze at his words. Even if you could move, your hands were tied down to the chair. Gentally you wiggle your fingers, careful not to draw any attention to yourself. Not that you would be able to tell. The ring that Shuri had made you was still there. If you timed in right, and you still had Wanda’s borrowed power, you could use it to untie yourself and hopefully get the fuck out of this hell hole.

“Kill her?” Tommy choked. “You didn't say anything about killin’ her?”

“You should be thankful. The girl’s been sharing a bed with the same man who killed you once before. In fact, I’m so pleased with your work developing this memory decoder that I’ll give you the honour.” The man spoke, shuffling around the room. “Here, tell me when you're done having your fun.” A few heavy footsteps later, and you finally heard the door close. The silence was deafening, but eventually, Tommy let out a deep breath and took a step towards you, ripping your blind fold off.

You squinted as you tried to acclimate your eyes to the lighting of the room. It was small and dark, but a few dim lights hung above you illuminating Tommy's features. Once upon a time you would have described them as strong and rugged. Now they seemed to loom over you, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Are you okay?” He asked, softer than you expected. You quickly clocked the pistol in his left hand and tried to suppress a scoff.

“Am I okay?” You gawked at him. “You just dug through my head like a sand pit. No- no I’m not okay you shit head!” You screamed.

Tommy chuckled, using the gun to scratch the back of his neck. “Touché…” He spoke, pulling up a stool and plopping himself down on it infront of you. “I missed that attitude baby. Really, these past couple years have been hell without you. These guys are really scary, but I told em- I said, my girl will know what to do. And you did, baby. I never doubted you.” His voice was like honey. Thick and sickenly sweet.

“What are you talking about?! I thought you were dead!? I mourned you, asshole. And you've been alive this whole time, working against me?” You couldn't believe how cavalier he was being about this. Tommy only shrugged, fuling the rage inside you.

“Nah, it's not like that. I was dead, really I was. But then Hydra came and BOOM I was back. They promised me that they’d keep me safe, as long as I could help em get that serum you were always talkin’ bout. Said they wanted to give it time in your system, make sure it didn't kill ya.” He started, narrowing his eyes slowly, “You grieved me? That's a funny way of putting it. Cause from what I saw in that head of yours, you were pretty chummy with that Soldier.”

You couldn't stifle the scoff that erupted in your mouth. “You're kidding right? Jesus, Tom. They brainwashed me. And I don't need to explain myself. You're sick, you know that? How could you do this? Do you have any idea what they're going to use that serum for?” You fired the questions off like explosives into his chest, but he didn't even flinch.

“I don't really care. They told me if I gave em’ your little recipe, they’d let me go.” He shrugged.

“And so what? Now you're going to kill me?”

“No… Maybe. I haven't really decided yet.” He looked down at the pistol like it was the first time he really noticed it was there. Contemplating your death like he was deciding between his morning coffee.

“I would get going on that if I were you.” You lifted your hands, wiggling your wingers playfully “Really, Tommy, you're not cut out for this line of work.” You spat, jumping from your seat and landing a hard kick to his gut, sending him flying back. The gun ricocheted off the ground and hit the wall, but before he could react, you grabbed it. In one swift move you turned the safety off and placed your finger on the trigger.

“Cummon baby, let's talk about this.” He raised his hands in surrender. “You wouldn't shoot me.”

You cocked a brow, “You sound really confident in that statement. Especially for a boy who was debating my death a moment ago.” You argued.

“Dont take it personally, baby. Anything you can do, I can do better. Remember?” You smirked.

................................................................................................................................

A/n: Another Cliff hanger? Yes. Do I know how to wrote anything else? No... My bad lol. I hope your enjoyed this one as much as I did writing it! As always, @cutie1365 is the bomb dot com for editing this for me. Tommy sucks, we both agree. I hope he gets whats coming to him... please leave some love and reblog if you read it!

@kalesrebellion

@projectcampbell

@calwitch

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hopeswriting · 3 years

Text

Modern AU (Adult!)Arcobaleno on socials media though. While Flames and mafia are definitely still a thing.

Now I’m by no means well acquainted to all the different popular socials media, but here’s my humble take:

Reborn on Instagram.

He only has pictures of Leon first and foremost, with him in the background in one of his ridiculous but very well-made cosplay. Leon of course also wears the same cosplay as him.

He never shows his full face in any of the pictures, but just enough his followers know he’s handsome as fuck.

The artists/photoshoppers among them regularly put the pieces together to see how he could look like, but in a funny-and-obviously-purposefully-wrong way only.

Reborn loves them and saves them all.

------

Once in a blue moon he does post a picture of himself where you can see him clearly all dressed up and fancy, and then immediately deletes it.

But only after he’s sure it has been seen, so he can watch his followers lose their shit while drinking a nice espresso.

They try hard, but so far none of them managed to save any of the pictures before he deletes them.

------

Often there’s what suspiciously looks like blood stains on their clothes and straight up dead bodies lying in the background, but Reborn went so passive-aggressive with the few who dared to ask, everyone is too afraid to ask now.

Anyone who badmouths Leon in any way is instantly blocked. But only after Reborn ripped them a new one AND let his followers do it too.

Skull on Twitter and Snapchat.

He tweets the most random, out of nowhere, highly worrying things, that always sent his followers in a frenzy trying to figure out why the fuck he would think of any of this in the first place??

“aren’t you ever tried of your solid, rigid, restrictive bones? don’t you want to just be Luffy from One Piece, a rubber being that can shape themself in whatever way they wish?”

or:

“nobody ever tells you this, but the stress of picking apart melted leather from your burnt skin before it heals is VERY worth the adrenaline of making fire your BITCH”

or:

“is it REALLY illegal if you break in and eat the food but leave money behind??”

------

That’s just his Twitter only followers though.

The ones on Snapchat have the privilege to watch him stumble head first step by step to his tweets, and are actually very involved and active spectators that keep him out of jail, or killing himself, or killing someone else.

Skull, recording a video, halfway stuck in between two buildings: What’s up guys, there're these guys following me and trying to kill me, quick tell me what bones to break so I can fit in there.