#it's my houdini ok

[tohakumaru]

it's tuesday and work has been unpleasant so i made a pouch for the nomad to carry its trinkets.

as with all the bird-people, trading is most important for the nomad. there is a formula for the price (of course, even a mystic market have rules). here's an excerpt from the 37 page document detailing the laws of bird-commerce, for reference:

"... laughs for scraps, bones for stones and a minute of your time for an eternity in the stars"

[rystiel]

look. i view the doctor as asexual but the implication that he’s had kinky handcuff-escape sex with houdini is a bit funny so i’ll accept it

[insanefemme]

Me: Aw, I never create or become part of a community even when I go somewhere regularly. So sad

Also me:

Doesn't interact with anyone unless I have to

If someone starts talking to me I talk to then for the wlast amount of time possible then say a quick bye and disappear

Puts earphones in ears and listens to music the entire time I'm doing something

Sigh, I just don't get why I'm never a part of any community /s

[assiraphales]

I forget not everyone shares the same interests as me I went to my mom “harry houdini and arthur conan doyle had a massive feud” to which she replies “ok”. no questions. no follow up. she didn’t want the tea and I just had to sit there & accept that

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Escape Antics

Lovecraft: s-so my editor at weird tales wants me to ghost write a story Lovecraft: for harry houdini King: harry houdini? the famous escape artist? King: wow, howard, what an opportunity! Lovecraft: i guess King: whats the matter howard Lovecraft: i just Lovecraft: Lovecraft: what kind of name is houdini

Harry Houdini: pick a card! pick any card! Lovecraft: ok Houdini: is it Houdini: the ace of spades?????? Lovecraft: wow! what the Lovecraft: it is! Lovecraft: that's incredible! Lovecraft: they should call you "harry how'd he do that"

Lovecraft: cuz people are gonna be wondering "how'd he do that" Houdini: "harry how'd he do that" Houdini: hmm that's good Houdini: damnit i should have thought of that

Lovecraft: ya know harry Lovecraft: you're alright Lovecraft: for an italian Houdini: oh houdini's just a stage name Lovecraft: oh good! Houdini: my real name is weisz Lovecraft:

Houdini: so there i was Houdini: trapped in the bowels of the pyramid Houdini: mummies to the left of me Houdini: mummies to the right of me Houdini: and that's when Houdini: i started to get mad Houdini: and that's the story of my egyptian vacation Lovecraft: wait a minute Lovecraft: did any of that really happen? Houdini: no, not really Lovecraft: Lovecraft: do you take constructive criticism? Lovecraft: what if Lovecraft: instead of mummies Lovecraft: you met some eldritch abominations? Houdini: but still in the pyramid, right? Lovecraft: oh yeah yeah the pyramid is great Lovecraft: people love a good pyramid

Houdini: so there i was Houdini: trapped in the bowels of the pyramid Houdini: eldritch horrors from beyond infinity to the left of me Houdini: eldritch horrors from beyond infinity to the right of me Houdini: and that's when Houdini: i started to get mad

Arthur Conan Doyle: wow! Doyle: i can't believe that's a real story that really happened! Doyle: to think! proof that eldritch space monsters are real! Doyle: proof in our time!

Doyle: harry, how did you escape from the pyramid Houdini: [tapping nose conspiratorially] Doyle: aw c'mon! Doyle: c'mon! Doyle: Doyle: C'MON!

Houdini: so there i was Houdini: the world's greatest escape artist Houdini: trapped in a mind-boggling pyramid trap Houdini: by an eldritch horror Frank Belknap Long: what if the eldritch horror was a giant hot sexy wolf with six arms and big boobs

Houdini: i Houdini: what Long: like in bend your knees to the brain tease Houdini: Houdini: what Long: god i wish that was me Long: lost in her pyramid Edward Lee: whats this about boobs

[writerblue275]

The One That Could Break My Heart (Chapter 1)

Inspiration: "Houdini" and “Break My Heart” - Dua Lipa and “Got Me Started” - Troye Sivan

Champion: Ezreal (Pilty/Explorer/FWB!Ez)

Summary: Your best friend (with benefits) has finally returned from his two months abroad, and the two of you pick up like nothing has changed. Or have they? (Gaaaah I’m no good at summaries, either creative or academic lmao.)

Genre: Song-inspired fic

Category: Fluff and SMUT-ish (18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)

Gender: Reader is ok with traditionally “fem” clothing like lingerie. Future parts (since I’ll be honest I’ve written like the whole story already) lean more towards reader comfortable with using she/her pronouns/are afab.

TW: Adult themes and suggestive stuff. Again, this is friends with benefits here, y’all. Swearing (no shock).

IMPORTANT CONTEXT: If you haven’t already, pause and go read my FWB!EZ headcanon (HERE). This story is set in the same “universe” as that and the headcanon provides important background info and context. It is easier to link that post than explain everything again in this story. Also, it’s likely that I’m taller than Ez, but you know what, sometimes I want to feel tiny so character is shorter than Ez in this one.

^ His smirk/nod to Kai’Sa was literally what got the wheels turning on this whole headcanon/AU in the first place. Look at him. Look at this cocky fucker. I love him lmao.

Key:

“Houdini” lyrics in blue

“Break My Heart” lyrics in orange

“Got Me Started” lyrics in purple

-“Center of attention, you know you can get whatever you want from me; whenever you want it baby.”

You sigh as you look down at the note in your hands, hating how your body has an almost Pavlovian response to this specific penmanship. Your heart speeds up and cheeks heat as you read through the words. The note on top of the three clothing boxes is unsigned, but that doesn't matter. You could recognize the slightly messy handwriting half-asleep.

"Come over later? Have the place to myself the next few days since the professor is away for a conference. Missed you. Here are some gifts to make up for my absence. Wear the green and bring the others."

"Looks like he's back...I wonder for how long this time," you muse to yourself as you contemplate the strange change in routine. It isn’t even the gifts. The appearance of a note and luxury clothing boxes are familiar, arriving like a calling card every time your best friend Ezreal returns from an expedition across the continent. The surprise is the change in location. Usually Ez just comes over to your apartment the moment he drops his things off at home, showers, and changes. He very rarely invites anyone over to the home he shares with his uncle when he is in town.

You quickly scribble off a response and send it off to be delivered to him.

"Of course, but next time, give me some more advanced notice, will you? Believe it or not, I can't just hop into the shower and be ready to go like you can. So, I hope you’re prepared to appreciate the effort. You're buying food, especially if you expect me to deal with your stamina for more than the weekend, Indiana Jones. Thank you for the beautiful gifts. I missed you too, E. See you at 7."

After sending off the note, you quickly flip through the carefully stacked clothing boxes, giggling softly and shaking your head as you confirm he, once again, sent you three expensive, beautiful, and lacy sets of lingerie, one in rich purple, one in black, and one in emerald green. You can't help but reminisce on the now-funny moment when he asked for your permission to buy things like this for you when you two first started your arrangement a year and a half ago. You smile as you remember his laugh at your confused expression. You had initially refused, saying you didn't expect gifts like that from him. It wasn't until he explained the upsides for himself that you finally realized it was beneficial to both parties. Hey…the man had good taste, that could not be denied. You stand lost in thought for a while as you finger the expensive green lace of the set he referenced in his note.

The sound of your mail flap draws you back to reality and signals the delivery of Ez's reply. Quickly, you go over and open the note, unable to hold back a laugh and an eyeroll at his response.

"But that would take away your surprise of being graced with my incredible presence again! As for food, I figured that would be a stipulation. It's on me. Also, when have I not properly appreciated your efforts? I take offense at the insinuation considering I actively contribute to your efforts through said gifts. Don't keep me waiting too long, princess..."

That fucking nickname...he knows damn well what it does to you. It started when you both were much younger, just innocent and teasing banter between childhood friends and he decided that was your nickname. Of course now, many years later, the teasing connotation still exists, but the innocence is largely gone. Between that and the other pet name he calls you when you’re alone together, “baby,” he knows exactly what to say to get what he wants. Then again you can’t really complain since you also want the same thing.

The rest of the afternoon goes by in a blur as you pack and prepare for your time away, putting on just a little makeup and dressing in a skirt and a white blouse that is very barely see through, enough for the green lace underneath to peek through, but easy enough to cover with your nice coat. Once you slip a pair of flats on, you make the shortish walk to the house in the lovely fall weather Piltover is currently having.

-"He’s got the personality, not even gravity could ever hold him down."

Soon enough you find yourself approaching the back door of the grand home. You're early, but you can't imagine Ez would mind much, especially if he’s alone. Curiously, you look up to his bedroom window, which also faces the alley. Sure enough, there he is, watching you with a massive grin. He even blows you an exaggerated kiss. Rolling your eyes, you flip him off, unable to keep from beaming as his loud laughter filters down to you through the window. It is a sound you’d missed desperately these past two months while he was gone. Knocking your familiar pattern, you wait patiently for him to get the door.

It doesn’t take long for him to answer. As soon as the door opens, his smug voice sounds near your ear as he leans forward. “That eager to see me, princess? You’re an hour early…”

Your heart speeds up but you just smirk and turn your head so your lips are very barely separated from his. “I could ask the same of you, Ezreal…seems like you’ve been waiting at your window for quite a while, and I wasn’t even supposed to arrive for another hour…not to mention the speed with which you opened the door. Miss me that much, Indiana Jones?” you murmur. You can’t help the satisfaction you feel as you see his pupils dilate a little bit as he’s affected by your words and how close you are.

The moment extends for a second longer with you two just smirking at each other before he takes your duffel bag, drops it to the ground, and throws his arms around you, burying his face against your neck.

“You know I did,” he says, his words muffled against you as he holds onto you tightly.

“I missed you too, Ez. Welcome home. I’m really glad you’re back,” you murmur as you wrap your arms tightly around his torso and bury your face against his shoulder. Eventually after a minute of just hugging, the two of you finally step back and smile at each other.

“I want to hear about your adventures, but maybe not all the ways you nearly died,” you muse, then laugh at how utterly ridiculous that sounds.

His grin just widens. “Well fortunately or unfortunately for you, I was invited to a dinner thrown by one of the council tomorrow night and since you’re my go-to plus-one, you’ll get to hear all about it, but that also include the not-so-pretty details. You know that’s all the society vultures want to hear about,” he says, grabbing your bag, leading you inside the beautiful home, and allowing you time to remove your shoes and hang up your coat.

-“I come and I go. Prove you got the right to please me.”

“So that’s why you invited me here instead of coming over,” you tease. “You didn’t want to carry a garment bag with a dress and shoes. Tsk tsk Ezreal you’re getting laz-eep!” Your teasing is cut short as he easily sweeps you into a bridal carry and moves up the stairs with you to get to his room.

His smirk is playful as he glances down at you and murmurs, his voice getting a little husky, “Careful, princess…you sure you want to finish that sentence? That’s a strong accusation. You of all people should know I’m not lazy. What did you call my stamina the night I got back last time? “Legendary,” was it? I seem to remember you throwing out that particular word after our events of that evening.”

You grin for a moment as he takes the bait of your trap to tease him, reaching up to play with his soft golden hair. That night had been absolutely mind-blowing, and he wasn’t wrong. You had used “legendary” to describe his stamina because that’s what it was. But, you’re not done riling him up yet, knowing you’re playing a deliciously dangerous game. “That night? Ez that was three months ago! How do I know the wait was worth it since you left? A lot might have changed in the two months you’ve been gone,” you remark with mock sincerity, internally cheering and grinning as he lets out a soft growl and moves a little faster down the hall to get to his room.

Once he’s inside and the door is closed, he immediately sets your duffle bag down before turning his focus to you. The second your feet touch the plush carpet he has you backed up against the door, his arms around your waist pulling you roughly against him, his nose brushing against your nose, and his lips frustratingly close to yours. He’s so close you can see just how many beautiful shades of blue the irises of his eyes have as they surround his slightly blown out pupils. He leans forward and ever-so-lightly brushes his lips against yours, barely making any contact at all before pulling back. As you let out a soft whine and chase his lips, he smirks widely and murmurs, “What’s wrong, (Y/N)? I thought you said a lot might have changed in two months, but it seems to me you’re just as impatient as ever. Not only that, but it seems like you still want me just as much. Am I correct?”

This clever man. He’s managed to completely flip the situation, instead winding you up like a damn toy. You can’t help but let out an exasperated giggle and a breathless “Fuck you, Ez,” before tangling your arms around his neck and kissing him hungrily. You playfully nibble his lower lip as he chuckles against yours, his hands going on a journey to reacquaint themselves with your body. Just like his initial kiss though, his touch is purposefully light in order to work you up even more.

“Ezreal, I swear to fucking God if you don’t touch me like you mean it I’ll never forgive you,” you threaten as your lips move down and nip his neck. You try to imbue your threat with at least a little sharpness, but there’s a thread of neediness that really undermines your intent so you decide to switch tactics. “Especially after I went through all this effort to look so pretty for you.” You give him a mock pout as your arms leave his neck and your hands start working on your blouse buttons, immediately drawing his eyes downward.

You only undo a couple buttons, enough for him to see just a little emerald green lace peek out before your lips move back to his neck. “Good choice with the green, by the way. You remember my favorite color after all this time,” you teasingly purr against him, knowing damn well he has one of the best memories of anyone you’ve ever met. “Finish ‘unwrapping me,’” you throw his own words from previous encounters back at him, “then I can thank you for the beautiful presents and you can show me how much you missed me, what do you think?”

You immediately feel immense satisfaction as he lets out a whisper soft “Holy fuck (y/n)…” under his breath as a reaction to your words, almost like he just can’t help it. As playful as he is, your best friend prides himself on his ability to remain level-headed at almost all times. As he says often, he’d have died many times without it. Being one of the few who can cause Ezreal’s control to slip, especially for this reason, is a point of major pride for you. Even the man himself gives you credit for your abilities to bring him to his knees, literally and figuratively, an honor considering his ego.

He kisses you deeply again before murmuring against your lips, “Legs up around me, baby. Got it? We’re going on a field trip across the room.” He presses himself even closer against you as he cups his hands under your ass to keep you stable.

You instantly obey him, giggling softly in delight as his hands squeeze you. You keep your arms wrapped around his neck as you wrap your legs around his hips, trusting him to support you.

You feel and hear his soft and affectionate chuckle close to your ear as you happily nuzzle his cheek while he carries you. “That’s it, princess…look at you, so good for me…I missed you so much, baby.”

You let out a noise of pleasure as his hands continue to squeeze and knead you. “F-fuck I missed this…I missed you so much, Ez,” you murmur.

Ezreal sits on the edge of his massive bed, keeping you in his lap as he gently makes you look at him so he can kiss you again. His lips are hungry, his hands tangle in your hair, and you swear you lose all sense of time when he kisses you like that.

Eventually he pulls away slightly and rests his forehead against yours, his heavy breathing mixing with your own. “Stand between my legs, princess. Let me undress you,” he very gently commands.

You eagerly scramble off his lap and do as he asks, moving your hands back up to your shirt to help him unbutton it.

“Baby no….I want to do it,” Ezreal murmurs softly, gently grabbing your hands and giving them a squeeze as he looks up at you with a soft smile. “You may touch me, but let me undress you,” his order is tender, his voice filled with affection, but it is still an order nonetheless.

“S-sorry,” you softy respond and blush as you quickly put your hands together behind your back, wanting to be good for him.

“It’s alright, baby…I appreciate how eager you are. It shows me how much you missed me,” he soothes as he reaches up and gently cups your cheek, allowing you time to close your eyes and lean happily into his warm touch. After a moment or two, he gently removes his hand and starts on your shirt, pulling it out of the waistband of your skirt and beginning to work on the buttons. It doesn’t take him long to have your shirt open in front, revealing more of the beautiful and intricate emerald green lace that was hiding underneath.

You love how dark his eyes turn as he takes you in. “As I said, Indiana Jones, excellent choice with the green. I adore it,” you remark teasingly as he lets out a soft growl of appreciation.

“Damn, I think I’ve really outdone myself,” Ezreal murmurs, almost more to himself than to you. He looks up at you as he gently starts to work on your skirt. “You look absolutely incredible, princess. I know you like the color, but do you like the style? Is it comfortable? Do you feel as gorgeous as you look, baby?” He asks, his questions filled with a genuine curiosity that makes you smile.

You nod, setting a hand on his shoulder to stabilize yourself as you kick your skirt away once he has it down your legs. “It’s very comfortable and I feel so beautiful in this, Ez. You know my style very well at this point, so trust me when I say I’m never concerned I won’t like something you get me,” you confirm, moving your hand on his shoulder to gently play with his hair. You love the happy little sigh he lets out as you gently massage his scalp with your nails.

“Good,” he replies. “I just want you to see yourself as I see you. Sexy, brilliant, witty, strong, and irreplaceable.”

“Y-you think I’m all that, Ez?” Surprise creeps into your tone as you blush deeply. His words are unexpectedly sweet and you can tell he’s being serious. It’s quite a change of character from a man who is usually so playful and teasing when it comes to your intimate moments together.

He gently wraps his arms around you and pulls you deeper in between his legs, leaning forward and laying soft kisses on the bare skin under your bra. He stuns you even more as he says, “Of course I do. And if I’ve ever failed to show you that through my actions, then I hope you will please forgive me.”

You very gently tug on his hair, making him look up at you before you lean down and kiss him softly but passionately. You just kiss him for a moment before murmuring, “Ezreal, there’s nothing to forgive. You’ve always believed in me and defended me for who I am since our friendship started almost two decades ago. Between your actions and words, you’ve repeatedly made it clear you believe what you’ve said. Sometimes it’s just a bit unbelievable to know I have someone as great as you in my corner to hype me up and make me feel so amazing and…well…desired. Self-love is just something I’m still working on.” You straighten yourself back up and hum happily as he returns his attentions back to your torso.

He murmurs against your skin, “Always happy to help you there, princess. Happy to tell you as many times, tell you as many things, and show you as many times as I need to for you to believe it.” His lips are now getting more and more passionate, including little sucks and nibbles.

You can’t help but lean your head back and close your eyes. “Let me guess,” you sigh with mock disappointment, “I’m going to get a lot of marks that I’ll have to deal with during the next few days.”

He grins against your skin before looking up at you, his chin resting on your tummy. “You know me so well, princess. I’ll try to make sure they’re not obvious,” he teases, completely returning to the playful lover you’ve gotten used to.

You look back down at him. “See that you do please. I’d like to avoid a repeat of last time. During one of the rare times both of my brother and I could make it to my parents’ house, he pulled me aside during dinner and asked me what the hell I’d been doing to get hickies on my neck and jaw. Hickies I didn’t realize were there, Ezreal. I saved your sexy ass, you know. He tried to get a name out of me. When he guessed you as a potential “suspect” I’m pretty sure I felt my entire soul leave my body. I had to lie and play everything off. Not an easy feat since I spend quite a bit of time with you when you’re home, and that’s something my brother is well aware of. Do you know how difficult it is to lie to your own twin brother?! He was ready to go on the warpath. I’m still not totally convinced he believes me that it wasn’t you, but you’re alive so he must believe me enough. Or he’s smart enough to know I’d kill him with my bare hands if he did anything to you. Oh, and also, disappearing for a few minutes at dinner only to come back downstairs with a scarf on wasn’t exactly subtle and my parents realized what was up. They didn’t ask me anything directly, but I’m pretty sure my mother said your name when I overheard them discussing it later on. My own parents talked about it, you fuck. You should have told me they were there,” you playfully complain and mock pout.

His grin turns more and more into a smirk and his hands continue to wander throughout your mini tangent. “My sexy ass and I appreciate your assistance in making sure I lived to see another day, princess,” he comments. “I’ll make sure to learn from my…mistakes, though you certainly enjoyed the process of getting those marks, if my memory serves me correctly. It usually does.” He winks at you.

This earns an eye roll and a sigh from you, even though he’s very right. “If you want to keep your mouth running, Ez, might I suggest you use it in a different manner on a different location? At least make it even more useful to me…” You let out breathlessly as your impatience starts to get the better of you.

“Tsk tsk, so impatient. I thought you were thanking me for the gifts first, princess,” he responds smugly as he undresses you the rest of the way.

You quickly undress him before gently pushing him to lay back on his bed, straddling him and leaning down so your lips are barely separated. “You drive me fucking crazy sometimes, you know that, Indiana Jones?” You whisper before nipping his bottom lip.

“The feeling is quite mutual, princess,” he whispers back with a wicked smirk. “Now come on…show me how much you really missed me…”

So you do. And he shows you how very VERY much he missed you in return.

(A/N: I’m so sorry, I tried to write this out as a full smut scene but it was just no good so fade to black it is for now. 🙃)

“I need something that will make me believe. If you got it, baby, give it to me.”

An hour and a half later, you lay completely satisfied with your head on Ezreal’s shoulder and hand on his chest, feeling his slowing heart rate thump against your palm. As you do, Ez is happily playing with your hair and gently tracing shapes into your bare hip with his free hand as your breathing and heart rate return to normal. You’re both just enjoying the feeling of being together again and savoring the comfortable and companionable silence you two have felt with each other for a long time. Well…silence until your stomach decides to make its displeasure at being empty loudly known. You feel Ez’s shoulder shift a little as he turns his head to look down at you as best he can.

“Hungry?” he murmurs softly, amusement evident in his voice. As he gives you the chance to respond, he gently kisses your temple, making you blush at the sweet little gesture.

You nod and shyly respond, “I thought we’d have dinner before we got to our…main events for the evening. We’ve been doing this for long enough though that I really should have known better. I’m just as impatient as you are.” You gently smirk up at him, enjoying the playful flicker of delight in his eyes.

A grin appears on his handsome face. “Come on now, princess. I know you’re smarter than that,” he teases gently as he carefully sits up with you. “What do you feel like having? We have leftovers, or we can order something to be delivered. Whatever you prefer.”

You think for a moment, biting your bottom lip. “I know this is probably a stretch, but do you happen to have any soup? It’s starting to get colder outside now that fall finally arrived,” you muse as you glance out the window on the far side of the room where the sun has already gone down. “I was thinking on the way over that it’s soup weather.”

Ezreal nods and murmurs, “Chef had the same thought. She told me she made some turkey and rice soup yesterday. She and the rest of the staff have the next few days off while my uncle is away, but she showed me where the leftovers were. I’ll go heat some and bring it up, along with some water. Knowing you, you probably haven’t had much today…have you?” He gets up before leaning back over you, bracketing you in with his arms, nearly nose-to-nose with you, a knowing expression in his eyes and a small smile gracing his lips. As close as he is, your body is already begging for him to come closer again, despite your currently exhausted and sated state.

You shake your head and temporarily hide your face in the soft blankets covering the bed and sigh. “God damnit we’ve been friends for far too long. You know me too well, Ez. Yes, water is definitely needed…” You peek back out at him over the blankets and giggle as you watch the smile on his face grow wider and wider.

He laughs and leans down, pulling down the blankets before giving you a surprisingly slow, tender, and deep kiss before haphazardly throwing on his pants and shirt and going out the door. He leaves you staring after him in surprise, heart fluttering, breathing a little shallow, and cheeks even more flushed after the intensity of that kiss. He’s been super…affectionate today. While Ezreal has never been an asshole after your moments together, neither has he gone way out of his way to….well to act so sweet either. Certainly he’s never heated up leftovers for you.

You shake your head, shaking away all those strange thoughts. I’m sure it’s just because he’s hosting me for a few days. And besides, wasn’t he talking about making sure his actions show me how he sees me? I’m thinking way too much into it! You happily sigh and get up, walking around to stretch your legs while you wait. After pulling on the bottoms of the emerald green set that Ez so carelessly tossed to the side earlier, you end up throwing on a shirt you pull out of his dresser as you check yourself out in the mirror on top of it. Usually he offers you his shirt when he’s at your place, but since he’s currently wearing it, this will have to do.

You shyly bring the collar of the shirt to your nose and inhale. A whisper soft noise of pleasure slips out from your lips, along with a smile as you confirm that yes, even after two months of him being away, the fabric still smells just like him. He’s always smelled nice. You don’t know what it is or what exact product is responsible for this fucking sorcery, but his “smell” has always been comforting for you. Probably because we’ve been friends forever, you think. It’s just one of those parts of him that has grown to be so familiar to me. You continue to ponder the matter as you hold the collar of the T-shirt up.

“It’s you in my reflection, I’m afraid of all the things it could do to me.”

As you look up to the mirror again, you jump a little in surprise as you meet Ezreal’s gaze in the reflection. He’s leaning against the doorway, just watching you with an amused smile as he holds a tray with two steaming bowls of soup and glasses of water. You let out a soft complaint as your cheeks heat and your hands immediately straighten out the shirt. “Damnit, Ezreal! How long have you been there?”

He just shakes his head a little and chuckles. “Just got here. And I wasn’t even trying to surprise you this time. You were just lost in thought,” he observes. “What had you thinking so much?” He waits until you’re settled back on his bed with the covers over your lap before passing the tray to you so he can also climb back in. He also pulls another tray from his night stand, carefully transferring one of the bowls and glasses to it so both of you have your own trays to eat from.

You watch him, waiting until he’s done before you start speaking. “There’s no point in lying. You already practically read me like an open book. You, actually. Specifically how surprisingly good you smell. Granted I haven’t been on a two-month-long excursion with you where there are limited bathing options. Trust me, I’m extremely grateful you shower and change before you come to my place/invite me over once you get home. But, anyway, whenever I see you, at least, you and your clothes smell very nice. I was also thinking about how familiar and…comforting? your “smell” has become to me. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been best friends with someone for nearly two decades. It’s just one of those small things that becomes a part of you knowing the person.”

He nods, his expression thoughtful. “You’re right,” he observes. “I’ve never thought about it like that, but you also have what I would consider to be a “comforting smell.” Though, what’s interesting is how it doesn’t have to be static. It can be dynamic but still be definitely yours. Like today. You’re trying a new perfume out, yeah? Or at least one I haven’t noticed you use before.”

You’d been eating the delicious soup while he was talking. When that question left his lips, your spoon froze halfway to your mouth in surprise. “You’re right, actually, I am! Granted it’s in the same collection as the couple others I have so it’s not crazy different from the others I wear. Honestly that’s impressive, Ez,” you note before finally finishing the soup spoon’s journey to your mouth.

He gives you a victorious smile. “I knew it! I think a lot of it is the fact that we’ve known each other so long. I can just tell when something is different. By the way, the perfume, it smells good. I like it,” he remarks casually, causing you to laugh in between sips of water.

“Duly noted,” you acknowledge. “I brought the sample size with me so I’ll wear it tomorrow for the event. Speaking of tomorrow’s event, I’m imagining you also have a dress and shoes ready for me somewhere? Usually you send them with whatever “special” presents you’ve ordered for me, but I suppose since I was already coming over here there was no need.”

He nods and tilts his head to gesture towards his closet, a sly smile on his lips. “All good. It's in there with my suit, sugar baby,” he jokes. His unexpected tease causes you to lean your head back and laugh loudly, a genuine belly laugh that only a couple people, mostly him, manage to draw out of you.

“You’re a fucker sometimes, you know that, Ez?” you manage to get out as you suppress even more laughter.

He just grins widely at you before unabashedly stating, “Oh I’m well aware. But guess what? I’m your fucker, princess.”

Thank you for reading! Oh my GOD chapter 1 has been so much fun to write. I will say, this has hung out in my drafts for a little bit, mainly due to nerves, but I finally realized I just need to let it go and post it before I psych myself out completely. Chapter 2 is essentially written already, I’m just editing it a bit more.

[coldbug]

hi alright, here's my updated master list of stickers for anyone who happens to care

thriftysigns: tbp mcr logo, houdini, demo lovers/revenge album art, band member portraits, and license plate cover. all custom orders (message me for the demo lovers or member portraits files!)

generally from left to right now:

killjoy y2k by @tragicyans, mousekat by @mads-schubert, we'll carry on, helena planchette, art is the weapon, what will save us, jazz hands

frank birds, black parade blimp, mcrx, me: paints it black, gerard way is a war vet (rip) by @gerardpilled

inok mv qr code, keep honking/drinking venom (limited run), garfield inok, exterminator by @kingratfabulous, manhunt, my other ride, look alive sunshine, think happy thoughts by @bats-are-punk, can you stake my heart, pansy

black parade cat parade, i'm okay, neko atsume parade, hello kitty parade, immortality meant never dying, knife cat frank by @birdloaf, give em hell kid, oh im there baby, keep honking/bullets by @pansy2005, eyeball records

ac frank by @mychemicalraymance, lenny face frank

phew okay that was a lot of hyperlinking lol

note: any sticker without a hyperlink was bought on redbubble, but the design has been taken down/removed, so i can't link it :(

second note: some of these do have a bit of uv/weather damage, blame me not the seller!! ive bought some stickers that are not explicitly outdoor-proof; it was my choice to put them on my car. i still highly recommend any that this apply to (just. not for outdoor use lol). the redbubble ones are always ok for outdoor use!

[blackwolfstabs]

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 27

ATTACKED

Continuation of day 17: THE CATCH → for greysandmarvelfan & mlgx on AO3

WARNING!!! contains rape/non-consensual elements. (yes, i live for angst and venting what fucks with me through my writing, this isn't new, and we should shut up and move on ok? k great)

“Holy shit, it’s that psycho girl!”

“That’s her?”

Overlapping comments and laughter burned Sam’s ears as she led the way out of the frat party. Her heart still thumped like it never broke from its adrenaline-induced fit that had come with beating the ever-loving shit out of Frankie. She could feel the eyes of the partygoers studying her like she was a feral, stray dog being walked out of civilization by Animal Control. No matter how close the voices to her were or how deep each word was, Tara’s desperate voice overpowered them all. It was her voice blending in and out of another voice that was even more familiar… her own. 

And the thought of what could’ve been with one and what was with the other made her entire being run hot. Very hot, the touch on her back letting her know she was backed by the Meeks-Martin twins actually feeling cool.

She broke out of orange and purple lighting into the crisp outdoors. Moonlight was considered fraud amongst the lively streets of New York, but she didn’t need any source of it to find her way to her baby sister.

She should’ve known better. She should’ve known that Tara would go to the OKB party anyway. She was impulsive and sick of being chained to the apartment, outside of going to her college classes. Sam had begged her—begged her—not to go. 

And Sam never begged. Only for Tara, did she ever. 

This was why. She couldn’t trust anyone, especially after Richie’s betrayal and her secret about being Billy Loomis’ daughter getting out. Either she was the wolf in sheep’s clothing or someone else was. She thought Tara would feel the same, having her own best friend for years betraying her over the orchestration of a fucking requel. If that didn’t destroy Tara’s trust, what would?

But it didn’t matter. Tara was nearly raped at that party, and as much as it was her own fault for getting herself into that situation, Sam took just as much blame. Had she not been in therapy, Tara would’ve never had the chance to make it out the door of their apartment.

There wasn’t much of a breeze to tame the invisible fire burning beneath her skin as she followed Chad, who’d passed her and his sister up with his longer strides. It was then that she started running.

She couldn’t get Tara’s voice out of her head, and every time she replayed it, her vision turned everything in sight into a more distinct shade of red. Until it was blood red. Like the blood that painted Frankie’s face. Like the blood left on her hands. Like the blood still smeared on her lips. Like the blood lingering at the back of her throat. 

Like the blood that was once shed in a similar situation, at a similar time, but with an opposite outcome.

Having Tara scream her name, be trapped beneath a repulsive human being, and barely escaping what would’ve become another tragedy she’d have to recover from was only half of the battle that nearly had Samantha losing it all. 

She should’ve known better.

Because when she was 20, she had been exactly where Tara had been…

—

(flashback / Sam's past inspired by Tanto Amor: Chapter 62 (14:58 - 17:16))

She hadn’t wanted to get caught up in any of this. She’d been a rebel, on the run, and so good at getting herself in and out of suspicious situations, anyone could code her Houdini. But she did not favor Halloween in the slightest. She didn’t like the idea of people hiding themselves behind masks, costumes, and hours of make-up, so no one knew who they were. They all became characters rather than real-life identities, and with that advantage, came a thousand things they could get away with.

All it took were 2 girls who’d befriended her for a few days. They’d begged her to come to this stupid party. They told her she didn’t have to dress up, just come for a good time that would allow her to cut loose. She cut loose more than she let on but always did it on her own terms. No one was going to bark orders at her like her mother had done. No one was going to pin her down and handle her however they pleased.

Until someone did… 

And those 2 girls she thought would look out for her didn’t. They didn’t care. They just knew her standoffish personality and impressive beauty would model a perfect bone for a dog to go chase.

She wound up in the garage, encouraged to go fetch more drinks. And she did it for the sole reason that she could get away from the noise and crowd for a moment. What she didn’t know was that doing so would curse this night into becoming the 2nd worst night of her life, after the night her father walked out on everything their family once had all because of what she did.

She leaned against a long, wooden shelf that was bolted against the wall, holding her head with her fingertips on either side of her temples. Having a drink on a mostly-empty stomach was a stupid mistake, even if she had only taken a few sips. She applied pressure, trying to ease the throbbing pain if she could. 

She just wanted to go home, wherever the hell home was going to be for the night.

Behind her, the door opened, making her pick up her head to look over her shoulder. Her heart skipped a beat. She knew it was a man. He was in all black with the exception of a clown mask covering his entire face. It was white, a tri-brid of yellow, blue, and red paint distinguishing different designs as facial features. Complimenting that were three red horns coming out either side of his face and one at the top of his head. 

He stared at her the whole time, keeping her eyes that did the same. He shut the door and locked it, leaving her to drop her gaze to confirm before looking back up.

Sam instantly felt sick to her stomach, the worst feeling imaginable flooding through her just by laying eyes on him. And it wasn’t because he was in a haunting clown mask. It screamed at her to run, even though there was nowhere to run. As much as she wanted to look away in order to find some form of defense, she couldn’t. Her heart seemed to thump her chest hollow as he began to slowly walk towards her.

She bit back a whimper and replaced it with, “What are you doing?”

He didn’t say a word, just kept coming towards her. That was all she needed to know to figure if she was going to get out, she wasn’t giving him a second chance to speak. He looked hungry for lust. She was young, but she’d been around long enough to know that look anywhere.

She tried to move aside to walk around him, but he did the same and blocked her. She moved the other way, and so did he. So, she did what her instincts were telling her to do. She tried to run.

But he caught her, grabbing her arms and pulling her in, earning a yelp.

Sam felt one arm wrap around her waist, while the other lassoed her shoulder blades, making her grab onto him to get a grip on her stability. But that only lasted for a fleeting second, for he was trying to knock her off balance.

This was when full-blown panic set in, and her rationality was no longer her own. “No! Stop!” She retreated her arm that gripped his shoulder to push away from him. But it was to no avail. 

And still, he said nothing, just fought with her.

“Stop it!” She felt his hold grow stronger around her thrashing. “No-ho!”

Yet, no matter what she did, he handled it better, leaving her struggling whines and whimpers echoing off the walls of the garage.

“No, no!” She began to cry without even realizing it, gripping onto his clothes to avoid falling but still resisting him, nonetheless. 

He caught her around the waist, low enough to tilt her at an angle she had to submit to. The grip he held on her arm was promised to leave a bruise as he lowered her to the ground.

Carpenter tried to brace herself in protest, but she couldn’t, which left her spitting out the only words that she could even process. “Please! No, noooo!” her voice pitched into a squeal as he got her pinned on the floor. 

He straddled her churning legs in the process, leaving him battling for control of her arms.

The burning in her chest and inescapable hurricane running her auto-pilot a million miles per second kept her from putting up the fight she might’ve been able to with a leveled head. She tried to push against him, realizing he was trying to get her wrists above her head. Tears fell from her eyes as she begged him, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, please…” Her muscles burned out, leaving him to have his way, yet again. “Ple-hease! Don’t do this!”

But he couldn’t care less. He just wanted what he wanted, still refusing to say a word or spare any hint of vocalization. With her wrists secured in one hand, he began to feel down her flank, squeezing at the curve in her hips and filing his fingers to her beltline, where he found the button to her jeans.

“No, no— No-hoo! Nooo!” She tried to buck, to kick, to twist. Nothing worked. “Let me go-hoo!” There was only one other hope she had left. “Heeelp! Help me, pleee-hease!” She knew they were people by the garage door and outside too. Someone had to hear her…

Right?

The man had gotten her jeans undone and moved to clutch the collar of her shirt, trying to tug it down, but not missing the chance to rub his hand against her breast in the process.

This just made her panic even more. “Somebody, please!” she cried, “He-heelp!” She pulled her knee up to make another attempt at kneeing him off. “Get o-hoff of me— Nooo!” By now, she was beginning to sob, which made her words struggle to come out clearly. Her next attempt to shout was replaced by a desperate cry. Even with her arms pinned, she still tried to pull them down. 

But then he stopped feeling up and down her body and raised his fist.

She knew what that meant, and as much as she didn’t want to live what would happen next, she couldn’t let herself lose consciousness. “No, no, please! Please, don’t!”

It came down hard and fast.

Pain blasted through the side of her head, and then her whole world went black.

The next morning, she woke up and couldn’t remember a thing… She could smell blood dripping out of her nose. She sat up, confused on where she was or how she’d gotten there. But then she saw her pants down to her knees and her underwear in an awkward straddle around her thighs. Then, the pain hit her head and privates all at once.

And then she knew. She remembered it all… And she broke down into tears of disbelief, shock, and horror.

The worst thing about it was… they heard her. The people at the party the night before… they knew.

It was just that no one cared.

—

All of the rage and merciless sanctions that had fueled her for the last however-many minutes vanished the second she caught sight of her baby sister hugging her knees and crying on a bench. It was like they were back in the ages of 6 and 11, Sam about to be scolded by her mother for not watching Tara and keeping her out of danger, like she was supposed to.

It was her responsibility. 

She had a responsibility to Tara, to love her and protect her, the same as she’s always had. She didn’t ask to be an older sister, but she didn’t have to. It was built-in. It had been since the dawn of Tara’s time—to watch over her throughout her life, to bark when she was in danger or lunge when she couldn’t outrun that danger, to run and play with her when she was happy, to hold her close when she was lonely, to wipe her tears when she cried or make her laugh when she was about to cry. 

That’s why she was called a big sister. That’s why Tara had called her Sammy. That’s why she was still a Carpenter rather than a Loomis.

She knelt down next to Tara, wanting to place a comforting hand on her leg or touch her in some way, like she always used to do. But she knew she couldn’t… Not right now anyway. “Tara?”

Before Tara could respond, Anika interjected, “We got her asthma under control. She’s just still really shaken up.”

Both, Mindy and Chad, gave the sisters space as they moved over to where Anika was standing with Ethan, who had ditched the party when they were trying to get Tara out of the house.

Sam didn’t look away from her little sister. “Tara…” Her voice had lost all of its darkness and animalistic traces, leaving nothing but concern and softness.

She was shaking. Her baby girl was trembling uncontrollably, and it wasn’t because of the crying. She slowly lifted her face from being buried in her knees to reveal glossy eyes that held regret, hurt, and fear. There was no resentment, annoyance, or rebellion. Just a longing that pleaded for comfort. For rescue. “S-Sam…” Her voice was quiet and delicate, close to breaking with the quivering of her lips.

“I’m here,” she assured her, reaching her hand up to gently caress her shoulder. “I’m here, Tara.” She could feel her own emotions start to get the best of her, but until she certified her sister’s safety, she’d hold them all at bay.

“Sam,” Tara choked out, “You were right…” She had to take a moment to keep herself from drowning in more tears, her breath hitching as she sucked in some air. “I-I never should’ve g-gone…” Then her face creased, and she broke down. “I-hi’m so so-horry!”

But her big sister shook her head, “No, no, no, love, it’s not your fault.” She moved up onto the bench as Tara dropped her legs, showing that she wanted to be held. And Sam did, pulling her in against her chest and feeling her trembling arms wrap around her waist. She shushed her quietly as the younger began to whimper in between small sobs. “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for not getting there sooner. I’m sorry for choosing therapy over making sure to keep you home tonight. Don’t you ever apologize for what someone else did to you. You did nothing wrong, Tara.” She promised her all of this through a blurry lens of her own tears. Her voice dropped to a whisper after placing a loving kiss on Tara's head, “Nothing wrong at all…”

Tara clung to Sam’s waist, holding her tight as if someone was going to try to take her away. Maybe in another world, she’d have been stopped by Mindy, Anika, or Chad from following Frankie up those stairs. Maybe in another world, Sam would’ve showed up, and she would’ve been completely embarrassed. Maybe in another world, instead of sitting on this bench, they’d be standing-off in the street, shouting about where they’ve been and where they planned to go—how one was able to move on and the other was still stuck.

Maybe in another world, she’d have told Sam that she had to let her go…

Not tonight, though. Tonight, she wanted Sam to hold onto her forever.

“Thank you for coming, Sammy,” she whispered, hugging her tighter. And she felt her head be kissed again, while a comforting hand rubbed her back, the bowing of her guardian angel’s head leaving her long, black hair to shield her face from the rest of the world. She was safe in Sammy’s embrace.

And Sammy replied. 

“Always.”

i don't know whether to apologize for writing this THIS way or not, but i'm sorry??

special thx to @doctorwhoarchive for chatting with me about Tanto Amor (yes, u told me i had a while to go before reaching this part in the show, but there were 3 problems: 1) i'm too curious for my own good 2) i piss myself off for no fucking reason, and 3) i have access to YouTube so I WENT TO FUCKING FIND IT BC STUPID FUCKING ME and so here we are) i don't blame u tho, dw! much love 🩶

All my best ♡ - parker

[annalu86]

Another double date.

“You love me right?”

Lucy walked up to Tim as he stood at the fridge door, he was wondering what to make them for dinner but mostly looking for an excuse to order something in. She came to stand behind him, slipping her arms around his waist and pulling herself flush up against him.

“What did you do?”Tim was immediately suspicious.

“I asked you a question first!”Lucy giggled, a little nervously

“Luuuccyyy” he said, turn around in her arms and taking a step back. He looked down at her, making the most of his considerable height “it depends on what you’ve done” he was half smiling, lucy had a way of getting him into situations he’d preferred to have avoided.

“Isn’t true love supposed to be unconditional?!” She ran her fingers up his arm and gazed up at him through her eyelashes. But Tim was clearly not going to be easily swayed.

“It definitely depends.” He chuckled, moving past her to look half heartedly in a cupboard “Did you use the last of the coffee or did you sign me up for another ‘make a dream’ kid? Because the last time you started a conversation this way I spent my day hunting for our very own mini Houdini”

“Is that really your example of the worst thing I could do? You’re worried I’ve signed you up to babysit again?” Lucy playfully punched him on the arm, she followed Tim through her small kitchen as he made his way to the pile of take out menus having clearly given up on the idea of cooking.

“We lost him. A lot.” Tim sat down on the sofa and looked up at Lucy from behind a menu. He smiled at the memory, despite himself. Getting to spend days like that with Lucy, at the precinct or on patrol, we’re now few and far between. She sat down, crossed legged, next to him, her whole body turned towards him.

“So you admit it wasn’t just my fault we lost him!” She cried triumphantly jabbing him on the chest with her finger

“Ow!” He said rubbing the spot she had poked “Lucy, stop trying to distract me.” He put the menus down, finally a serious look on his face “What have you done?”

Lucy took a deep breath.

“I said we’d go on a double date.”

“Right.” It was clear he didn’t think this sounded so terrible, he tolerated Wesley and could just spend most of his time talking to Angela “With?”

She looked sheepish

“… John and Bailey”

“Ok.” Tim’s disappointment was written all over his face, but this is what he had taken on when he had chosen a partner in someone like Lucy “not my first choice but it’s just one evening”

“Great” Lucy smiled but it was an uneasy smile, there was definitely more. Tim could read her like a book.

“Lucy” he probed “what else?” She didn’t say anything, or look at him “Lucy?”

“The only time we were all free was the ___.” She said in a rush

The cogs in his brain started ticking, that date sounded familiar

“Wait that’s…”

“ the Rams are playing the ___ in the ___” she looked at him apologetically “I know! I’m so, so sorry!” Lucy grasped his bicep “So you get to decide, we can go to their house or we can all go to yours. That way you can still watch, at least, and I’ll do all the shopping and all the cooking. And did I mention I’m sorry and that I love you!” She stopped suddenly, waiting for him to respond. Tim’s gaze was steady, he was enjoy her being flustered for a change.

“Just know that you are going to owe me” Tim finally said with a smouldering look, once again Lucy playfully punched his shoulder. Instantly at ease. “I mean it” he quirked an eyebrow.

A wide smile spread across Lucy’s face

“I can live with that” she leant in to kiss him, all thoughts of dinner slipping from Tim’s mind.

—————————————————————————

If it’s not already blatantly clear, I have no knowledge of American sports, sports teams or competitions and no desire to learn. Please fill in the blanks however you want!

[lightscamerabitchsmileee]

Vote for your fave, reblog & share your thoughts and also let me know what your faves are even outside my list in the tags I would love to hear it 😊😊

Thank you and have fun 😊😊 check out my masterpost for the other artist/band polls 😊😊

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 17: Breaking Point: Pushing Mitsuhide’s buttons is a bad idea - Katsu does it anyway..

All Chapters Archived on Ao3 

Logline - With Mai, Hideyoshi, and Aki missing, Mitsuhide and Katsuko reluctantly team up. Disguised as a merchant and his concubine, can they outsmart the man known as the God of Deceit?

"Once again, I find myself mystified as to how to get you to stay in one place." Mitsuhide locked one end of the chain to my ankle, and the other to his own. "Finally it occurred to me that you need something to occupy yourself, a puzzle, a code, a game, or..." he handed me the lock picks, "An escape task."

"And you chose option D?" I eyed the shogi game set that he had put on display. "I do know how to play Shogi."

He he took a step toward the table and I nearly fell over. I hope he didn’t noti-. His smirk told me he noticed. "In the highly unlikely event that I become tired of watching you struggle with this, we can have a game."

He wasn’t completely sadistic; he had let me go to the bathroom and change into less restrictive clothing before he’d locked us together. "Won't it bother you if I'm moving around?" I tested length of the chain; I could possibly get a meter away from him.

"I will manage to live with the annoyance." He settled down at his desk, forcing me to take the cushion closest to him. On the bright side, this was an interesting challenge, he had been correct about the fact that it was something that would occupy my attention for--

Click

About a minute.

"Ha! Done." I gave Mitsuhide what I hoped was a look of triumph. Call me Houdini. Harry Houdini.

"That, was your warm up." Mitsuhide locked the chain to my ankle again, this time with a new coded lock. He must have been scouring the town to add to a collection of restraints.

Er. Locks. I totally meant locks. I reached for my foot, only to be stopped by Mitsuhide, who put that pink blindfold back on me. "Really? Is that necessary?"

"For training, possibly not, for amusement purposes, absolutely.” I glared at him through the blindfold – I know, he couldn’t possibly know I was glaring but it made me feel slightly better to do it. “I could only find one new lock – this will prevent you from memorizing the combination.” Ok he knows I was glaring.

Then something soft and feathery brushed the bottom of my foot. "What was that? What did you just do?"

"Adding a distraction to the difficulty level." He said it matter-of-factly, daring me to accuse him of torturing me for fun.

That brushy thing - it probably was one of the peacock feathers from the large vase by the door- slithered across the bottom of my foot again. "Stop that."

"Are you ticklish, Brat?” The soft touches halted for a moment, then began again in random patterns.

"No." Not there anyway. But the unannounced guerilla attacks were working my last nerve. I never knew when, or exactly where, the feather would swoop down for a tickle raid.

"Pity." The feather teased the end of my nose. "When we first met, Aki was hurling knives at you. You cannot make me believe that knives are in fact preferable to feathers."

"I could in fact see the knives." That annoying feather hit the inside of my elbow, where I actually was ticklish, and I slapped it in annoyance. In the process, I lost my place on the lock. I could feel the barrels slip out of joint.

Grrr!

Behind me, Mitsuhide was quietly snickering. I bit the inside of my cheek, knowing that a visible sign of annoyance would simply encourage him, and started again, this time bracing myself for wherever he would strike next.

"I never imagined that distracting you would be this entertaining."

Feather.

Chin.

Feather.

Knee.

Feath - that was not a feather, Mitsuhide had drawn his finger along the inside of my arm.

"Enough!" I took hold of the chain and yanked on it hard. If he had been standing it could have pulled him over, I knew I hadn’t budged him, but maybe that had stung a little.

That appeared to get the message through for he stopped pestering me, and I was able to concentrate on decoding the lock. One tumbler, two.... three. Those were the ones I had solved before his tease had messed me up, so they were close to the line anyway. I pulled in the kind of focus I normally used practicing archery, direction all my attention on that one specific tumbler, shutting out everything else.

Four.

Mitsuhide didn’t exist. It was me and the lock and—

A cool finger touched the back of neck. No that had been the tip of his tongue! “Ughhh!” I yanked off the blindfold, and pushed him away. "That was not part of our agreement."

"In fact it is, you will find." He sat there with that infuriating grin on his face.

"No sexual touching when we are in private." I know what is in our contract – I transcribed most of it myself.

"While we are not investigating or otherwise working," Again the calm statement dared me to argue.

I argued.

"We’re not working.  Nor were we working today. You were gone. I had things to do." He could not have expected me to wait patently in this house while he was gone for almost a week.

His mood flipped in an instant. One moment, I had teasing Mitsuhide, the next, that coldly furious man I had met at the beginning of the summer.

It happened so fast, I’d had no time to react. Mitsuhide knocked me backward, pushing me down on the cushion, holding my wrists to the floor. "You've been testing the boundary of our agreement from the start. Sneaking out at night, leaving when I've ordered you to stay put, breaking into my room to search it. The only freedom you have ever had is what I have granted you, and I’m rapidly losing patience with your little rebellions."

"Let go of me." I squirmed, trying to wiggle away from him, but he knew what he was doing and did not budge. "Do you want me to stab you in your sleep? Because we're getting dangerously close to the line here."

"A piece of advice, in fact two. One, death threats are useless when the other person holds all the power. Which, you will find, I do." He demonstrated this power by adding more pressure to the hold, immobilizing me from shoulder to hip. "Second, telling the person you plan to kill exactly how you plan to do it only gives them time to prepare."

Point to him. Threatening death by stab only works if you are someone like Uesugi Kenshin.

Even so, if he didn’t let go of me soon, I would spend the rest of our time here getting as much creative revenge as I could manage. Maybe even longer than that. Five years from now, I would still be visiting to enact more revenge.

"Now, do I have your attention?" He looked right into my eyes, daring me to look away. Daring me to blink. I did neither. My nerves were buzzing, though, and I’m sure he could tell my pulse was racing. I could hear it in my ears. "I'll consider that a yes. There are things I do, orders I give, because they need doing, doing by me. Whenever you leave this place without my permission, without telling me where you are going, what you are doing, you risk my, yes my investigation. You, brat, are the perfect example of someone who knows just enough to be dangerous. You have skill and training, but you’re reckless and overconfident." He held still for a moment longer, apparently waiting for a sign that I understood him.

"Would it kill you to explain why you’re giving me orders, and what your plans are?" All I want is a little bit of logic in my life.

"You shouldn’t need that from me - or anyone. Does your father explain himself to you every time?" He let go of one of my wrists to poke me in the forehead.

"N-n-no.” He never had. And the things Aki had done without explanation were piling up, farther and faster than I could keep up with them.

"I don’t have time step softly around your feelings about whatever you believe your father did - although I suspect it has something to do with that drawing you brought home." Again, he poked my forehead, this time more gently, taking the opportunity to brush my hair out of my eyes. "This is not a game where you play at being a spy. I'm trying to keep us alive. I'm trying to find Hideyoshi and Mai before whoever has them decides they are worth more dead than alive. Every time you fight me takes me further away from that. Do you understand?"

I nodded. I could have left it there, not let him in any further, but the lie of my life had gotten too big for me to keep locked away any further. "He left her. He left us alone with her. I never knew her as she was in that drawing… happy."

"Us?" The questioning tone in his voice reminded me that I’d never told Mitsuhide about Toshiie.

"I have a brother. He disappeared seven years ago – before Aki took me in." Our being in this era could not have been a coincidence. Why hadn’t Aki managed to save both of us? Or found Toshiie in the interim?

"Maybe he believed you were safer with her.” He looked away from me, and it occurred to me that Mitsuhide was more likely to relate to Aki’s actions, than to mine. “Your father gave you a home after your mother died. Provided for you. Taught you. Whatever crimes he did to your family in the past, you've had several years with him. Can present actions make up for past sins?" He was still so very close to me, enough for me to notice the way his pulse sped up at the words, ‘past sins.’

"It's... more complicated than that." To explain in any more detail would be to tell him about the time traveling and that just wasn't a conversation I was ready for. "Um. Will you let go of me now?"

The time for revelations had run out.  Whatever accord we'd come to the night we’d talked over tea and sake was long gone, whatever honesty that had been here just a moment ago fled, leaving whatever this... this confusing, raw feeling was. There were things about me that he could not have. Not now, not ever.

I believe it was the same for him.

"I'll have your promise first. And give you one as well. If I give you an order it is because it is important, necessary, it will not be from some private whim." He touched my mouth with one cold finger. "So if I tell you the sky is green, and that the moon is the sun, you must agree, and obey. Do I have your word?"

"Yes." I was still going to stab him in his sleep though.

"You know, brat, you cannot literally kill me with your eyes, no matter how fiercely you glare at me." He laughed then, a teasing laugh. A victor's laugh. Finally he let go of my wrist, sat back, and said, as calmly as if he hadn't handed me an ice cold lecture a moment earlier, "Would you like to try decoding the lock again?"

What I wanted, was to get out of this room, to retreat to a private space, away from the coldness, the teasing. But it was still early and I had a feeling I would not be permitted to lick my wounds. Nor did I want him to think I was broken. He'd had my agreement because his logic made sense, and only because of that. Resolutely, I turned my back on him and got to work on the lock. "If you distract me again, I'm strangling you with this chain."

Hey, it worked on Jabba the Hut.

“Duly noted.” Once again I got to work on trying to decode the tumblers.

“Was Kyubei very angry with you when he found you?” Like every hairstylist ever, Sho asked the question while my head was partially submerged in a large kettle of water, so I could only guess at the exact contents.

I closed my eyes while a ladle of warm water poured over my head. "You could say that." His hot and cold anger and my conflicted response to it had kept me awake most of the night. Only now, in the comforting warmth of the water, did I feel like my pulse was finally returning to normal. It wasn’t until I stepped into a large yukata that Sho held open for me, that it occurred to me that she too might have had to face his anger. "What about you? Did he find you on the docks?"

"He seemed concerned about your safety. After I told him where you were, he just walked me home and told me to come back here tomorrow early. Er today, I guess." She continued to chatter happily about her excursion, and I kept one ear open to any mention of Shojumaru. Which means I got to hear many compliments on his strong physique and his attractive looks.

"Does he have ships of his own, or just warehouses?" Hopefully, that didn’t come across as too much of a non sequitar.

"Hiko has mentioned being on board Shojumaru’s ship, so I guess he has one." She pouted a bit about her brother getting a treat she was denied, but didn’t elaborate. Either she wasn't in on this secret, or she was a better spy than she appeared to be. In case it was the latter, I didn’t press.

"I suppose I can ask him tonight - he's supposed to be at this banquet. I hate going to places when I don’t know what I'm going to talk about with people." de Sousa's little invite to dine had morphed into a large banquet. Apparently he wished to show off how things were done in Portugal.

"What do western ladies wear, do you know?” As usual, her interest was more in fashion than helping me figure out whatever the manners would be necessary at this shindig.

"I don't know really." All I knew about European fashion of this time had come from television, and I had never been enough of a fan of costume dramas, especially Western ones, to seek any out. "Maybe a lot of heavy clothes?" Corsets. Oh thank god I didn’t time travel to an era with corsets. The breast flattener I wore as Katsu was painful enough. “Or, I don’t know. Heavy fabric, but not the number of layers that court ladies wear here.”

"Hmph. It must be cold over there." she began combing the water out of my hair, blotting and squeezing out the moisture as she went. "Maybe if I braid it while it’s still wet, there would be a nice bit of curl by tonight?"

"Whatever you think best. You are the expert here." I did have a slight natural wave to my hair, but only when it was layered to take the weight out. "Did Kyubei express any preferences?"

"Oh, you want to please him? Do you like him now? I wasn’t certain myself when I first met him, but he was very kind to me yesterday." She hummed a little bit as she looked through my clothing. The seamstress had come through with several delicately feminine kimonos. None were exactly to my taste - too pale, too much embroidery... but from a certain point of view, they were pretty.

"He's got his moments." Most of which inspired homicidal thoughts in me, but if I stepped back from my emotions (usually an easier task, but... details) I thought I understood the reasoning behind his behavior. He was worried about his friends, and everything was in service to that mission. I had to admit such loyalty was admirable, even when his modus operandi consisted of coldly given orders alternating with irritating teasing. Figures that he saved whatever kindness he had for Sho. "Oh. The green, I suppose." She'd been holding out two kimonos for me to choose between - a pink with a pattern of deeper pink blossoms, or a green with willow trees and cranes.

"An excellent choice." Mitsuhide stood in the door. Oh crap, had he been listening? I double checked that my yukata was securely tied, while Sho greeted him with a bow. He strolled into the room, as calmly as if we hadn't spent last night fighting - for that was truly what it had been - a fight for control of territory.

Unfortunately I had been the territory, and I had lost the battle.

He handed me a narrow packet wrapped in festive, tissue thin rice paper. "A present for my dear Kaya. I believe you'll find they match your outfit. Please wear them."

And then, probably because Sho was watching (in fact she had her hand to her heart at the so called romance of it all), he bowed low over my hand, and pressed a European style kiss to the back of it. His lips were cool, his breath was warm, and the back of my hand tingled at the sensation. Why was ‘Kyubei' was suddenly being so nice to Kaya, when his original character had been presented as abusive? Maybe the act was for Sho's benefit. I would have to ask him later tonight.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Sho peered anxiously over my shoulder, seeming more excited about the gift than I was.

"Oh. Yes. Of course." Though the width it fit easily in my palm, the packet had a bit of heft to it. I lifted it to my ear, shook it gently and heard a very faint metallic clink. I mulled that over for a moment, until I looked up and saw that Mitsuhide looked amused.

You don’t need to turn this into a puzzle, his expression seemed to say.

I suppose not.

I unfolded the paper and pulled a trio of silver hair sticks out of the packet. They were decorated on one end with tiny sprays of white bellflowers (whch would probably tickle the tops of my ears when the sticks were inserted into my hair). Was this Mitsuhide’s way to make sure I would think about him and my mission at all time? He never did anything without an ulterior motive.

"So pretty, and they will easily match everything you own.”  Sho reached out with one finger to poke at the dangling flowers.

"Yes, I’m aware of Kaya's wardrobe." He experimentally laid one next to my head. “An attractive and effective way to keep my lady's wayward hair in place. It does rather have a habit of escaping."

Though of course the meaning of that went over Sho's head, I expected Mitsuhide intended that as a warning. Then again... I tested the weight and sharpness of the sticks. They were pretty solid. Solid enough to pierce flesh. I might even be able to stab him with one. Nor would these break if I ever tried to unlo-

At that moment, it hit me what these were. Heavier and sharper than a normal hair stick. He'd... gotten me my own set of lock picks.

Coolest gift ever.

Decorative, deadly, and capable of opening locks. He'd pretty much hit it out of the park on the gift-giving game. "This," I emphasized are pointy end, “could come in super handy. Thank you Master Kyubei." He tapped on my lips with his finger and any calmness I had been able to achieve that morning suddenly fled at his touch. "No need to thank me. Your smile is enough.” And with a bow, he was gone, leaving Sho giggling in his wake… and yes, I supposed I was indeed smiling.

@bestbryn @selenacosmic @lyds323 @lorei-writes @tele86 @akitsuneswife

[hippolotamus]

Hey.

(If you’re still doing it because I’ve been asleep.)

Hey.

(I am doing this because I'm still awake.)

Opening Credits: Centuries - Fall Out Boy (oh, I am so here for this) Waking Up: waking up slow (piano version) - Gabrielle Aplin (always great to start the day with some *yearning*) First Day At School: Hold my Hand - Lady Gaga (awww, of course) Falling In Love: Good Mourning - Sophie Holohan (good lord, what is with you and @diazsdimples?) Fight Song: Run - Harrison Storm (well that is certainly a choice) Breaking Up: Place in Me - Luke Hemmings 😭😭😭 Life’s OK: Echo - Suriel Hess (... is it tho???) Getting Back Together: Oceans - Seafret (brb gonna go weep) Wedding: Finally // beautiful stranger - Halsey (OMG i love this) Birth of Child: NO - Meghan Trainor (*wheezing* 🤣) Final Battle: Say Don't Go - Taylor Swift (well that happy mood was short lived) Death Scene: Beverly Hills - Weezer (how very classy of you) Funeral Song: Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins (bad. ass.) End Credits: Houdini - Dua Lipa (hell yeah, death ain't stopping you from having an excellent jam)

message me ‘hey’ for ur life story built from my shuffled music library

[kayssweetdreams]

A "Perfect" Vacation Ch 20

Meanwhile, Back on the Mainland...

"...So what you're saying is that Madame Prim switched places with you so she could enact her revenge?" Ka Lā asked from inside of the padded cell. "It would seem that way. And you unfortunately didn't have the final say." Balan said. "Say...does your friend always rhyme? Not that I'm against it." Ka Lā asked. "Um...Yes. but that isn't important, what's important is that we get you out of here, and we get you back on your turf before Prim does something against my friends." Aria said.

"How are you going to do that? I look like Prim and the guards and orderlies won't listen to me. The chances of getting me out of here are more smoked than a pig during a luau." Ka Lā said, her voice forlorn. Lance However didn't back down. "It's not too late yet. We still have time to disarm Prim's threat." He said. "How? How on EARTH are you going to get me out of here?" Ka Lā asked. Both maestros just smiled and snapped their fingers, as a wind up toy replica of the woman sat next to her...much to her shock.

"H-How did you-" She was cut off by both of them appearing in the room, with Balan hoisting Ka Lā up bridal style, and Lance winding up the toy, making it look like she was rocking in the corner. "Alright, we're good to go! The orderlies and guards will never know." Balan said as he snapped his fingers, taking him, Lance, Ka Lā and Aria back to the theater...which was still in the Amazon Rainforest. Ka Lā looked on in joy as she looked out a window "Oh! How beautiful! I've always wanted to see the Amazon! I've seen a lot of beaches from Hawaii and Bali, but I've never seen the actual rainforest!" She squealed.

However, the poor woman tripped, as she was still locked away in the straight jacket. "Ugh. This stupid straight jacket. When I get my hands on this Prim woman, I'm going make sure that she suffered just as much as me in that dreaded cell." She said, attempting to get up. Aria quickly came to her aid and helped her up "Don't suppose you guys can get her out can you?" She asked. Balan smiled "No need to ask me! I am like a second Houdini!" He said, once again snapping his fingers.

In seconds, the straightjacket vanished, and in its place was a beautiful tropical dress. Ka Lā smiled "Now this is more my style! Thank you Mr..." she started "Oh my dear, Balan will do, And the fellow with the tentacles is Lance to you." Balan informed, bowing down in front of her. Ka Lā gave a curtsey back "Well its nice to meet you both. And I must thank all 3 of you for getting me out of there." She said. Aria nodded "You're welcome Miss Ka Lā, but now that you're out, we've got to get to your island and stop the real Madame Prim before she does something horrible to our friends!" Aria said.

Ka Lā nodded "Right. I just hope that she didn't mess with the flowers." She muttered. "What does a flower have to do with it?" Aria asked "Well, you see I have found a special flower that exists only on the island where I built my hotel. Beautiful thing it is. It has rainbow petals and when you hold them, it almost feels like the world is a better place. However, I found that it acts weird around certain things...like Thea's voice when she sings a certain song." Ka Lā explained.

"Did you tell anyone about this?" Aria asked "Only Thea, but I told her that during the performance on the island, I needed her to not sing certain songs, or else the flowers will behave strangely." The tropical woman explained. "Well, Either Way, we must not delay. We'll make our way to the island post haste, there isn't a moment to waste." Balan said, snapping his fingers and making the theater shake. Aria looked out, and saw that they were no longer in the Amazon, but rather the middle of the sea.

"Ok Ka Lā, Lead the way. It might not be to late to save the day." Balan said, revealing a steering wheel.

Aria belongs to @shadowqueen402

[professorspork]

ok someone may have already asked this but I’m curious, how did the idea for newsbees even come about?

luckily I have the discord receipts so I can relay WORD FOR WORD how I first started telling people about it and when

it was early November 2021, and I was reading many bees fics-- devouring longfics when possible, many of which were some genuinely very impressive AUs

I'd never really written anything like that before, and I found myself going "hmm, that might be fun... but I'm so picky about AUs having conceptual synergy, I can't imagine what I'd even do if I wanted to tackle something like that. I guess if I were ever to get the One Perfect Idea that would be one thing but that's Future Me's problem"

and I was just sitting there sort of vibing on that when my brain, nearly instantly, went NEWSIES!!! OBVIOUSLY, YOU'D DO NEWSIES!!, and Future Me became Present Me just like that

I couldn't possibly tell you what stimuli I saw that made me think of it, other than that I love Newsies and I love the bees and the parallels were sort of immediately and intuitively apparent to me. so then I started saying to basically everyone I know "it turns out blake wears high socks and a newsboy cap and inspires people to unionize is exactly the kind of stupid idea I will NEVER let go" (<- direct quote). the concept just... haunted me, all the time. I knew no one would ever write it BUT me and I also knew it would be The Perfect Thing To Write, so. what was I to do??

by late November I was flying home for Thanksgiving and read, on the plane, the Houdini book that included the "shake me, I'm magic" anecdote and it's like a key turned in my brain

I spent most of that holiday season daydreaming about the various potential fire escape scenes and the panic attack/bed sharing/waking up together that now ends chapter 12 and starts chapter 13

@theseerasures bought me Scrivener for Hanukkah that year and I started working on an actual draft (rather than scribbling in a scratch document for notes and ideas) in January of 2022. then I spent the entire next year writing it, mostly in 3k-6k bursts on the weekends because I was too burned out from my job during the week to get anything done. my goal was to have it completed and posted before v9 happened, but I'm rather glad it worked out this way instead.

and THAT IS THE GENESIS OF NEWSBEES.

[bestgrungealbum]

Revealing the Album Bracket!

With submissions officially closed and the selection process wrapped up, we present to you: the official album bracket!

The full list of albums (with corresponding artists) can be found underneath the cut.

The first polls will open at 3 PM CST on Thursday, December 7th. Each poll will be open for one week. Good luck to all our entrants!

List of albums, from highest-seeded to lowest-seeded:

Nirvana - Nevermind

Pearl Jam - Ten

Alice In Chains - Dirt

Soundgarden - Superunknown

Stone Temple Pilots - Core

Nirvana - In Utero

Alice In Chains - Facelift

Soundgarden - Badmotorfinger

Pearl Jam - Vs.

Nirvana - Bleach

Soundgarden - Down on the Upside

Alice In Chains - Alice In Chains

Pearl Jam - Vitalogy

Soundgarden - Louder Than Love

Alice In Chains - Jar of Flies

Stone Temple Pilots - Purple

Pearl Jam - No Code

Nirvana - Hormoaning

Stone Temple Pilots - Tiny Music... Songs from the Vatican Gift Shop

Hole - Live Through This

Mudhoney - Superfuzz Bigmuff

Temple of the Dog - Temple of the Dog

The Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream

L7 - Bricks Are Heavy

Melvins - Houdini

Screaming Trees - Sweet Oblivion

Foo Fighters - Foo Fighters

Mad Season - Above

Bush - Sixteen Stone

Veruca Salt - American Thighs

Soundgarden - Screaming Life

Green River - Come On Down

Mother Love Bone - Apple

Green River - Dry as a Bone

Babes In Toyland - Spanking Machine

Soundgarden - Ultramega OK

The Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

Tad - Inhaler

Babes In Toyland - Fontanelle

Tad - 8-Way Santa

The Smashing Pumpkins - Gish

7 Year Bitch - ¡Viva Zapata!

Mudhoney - Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge

The Toadies - Rubberneck

Skin Yard - Hallowed Ground

Silverchair - Frogstomp

Melvins - Stoner Witch

Silverchair - Freak Show

Malfunkshun - Return to Olympus

Gruntruck - Push

Mudhoney - My Brother the Cow

Skin Yard - 1000 Smiling Knuckles

Melvins - Bullhead

Bush - Razorblade Suitcase

Hole - Pretty On the Inside

L7 - Hungry for Stink

Mudhoney - Mudhoney

L7 - Smell the Magic

Screaming Trees - Something About Today

Babes In Toyland - Nemesisters

Candlebox - Candlebox

Mark Lanegan - The Winding Sheet

Skin Yard - Fist Sized Chunks

The U-Men - Step On a Bug

[oldmemoria]

i have a lot of unorganized miguel headcanons that float around my brain at times but since i usually think of them at night and forget about them the next morning im just going to continuously update this post probably? anyway here are the ones that i do remember

i will either leave this in my drafts and update it when i want to or ill just edit/reblog with new stuff idk

edit after i stopped typing:

ok its time

fuck you

posts

identity headcanons first, because idk getting those out of the way feel free to get pissed off about these ill just block you 💖

trans man. he/him pronouns. probbably doesnt care if you use gender neutral terms for him because like... why would he, he has a multiverse to stare at

asexual, can't really figure out of i see him as being aromantic as well, i personally just think he's too busy to think about it atm but i dont think hes incapable of it. maybe arospec, like demiro or greyro or smth idk, i just know this mf is asexual.

he is autistic (and probably undiagnosed?) i will die on this hill as if i was a warrior cat defending the sunningrocks i will commit an oakheart fight me on this and i will throw rocks at you and then promptly get crushed by rocks as well (is that warrior cats spoilers um oops sorry)

now to the rest- that i remember- i have not read the comics yet so if some of these are like.. actually canon lmk because that would be really funny

this one might be a hot take but he does not hate miles. he wants to look out for him and definitely either currently regrets or is going to regret what happened in that chase scene. i genuinely doubt he hates any of the spider-gang hes just very, very worried about the multiverse. in his head thats the only way. (i am hoping and pleading that miguel and miles make up somehow, maybe miles doesnt forgive miguel and that totally understandable and would make sense but pLEASE writers i would die if you kept them as being rivals i genuinely would)

he hates Audrey Hepburn, fangoria, harry houdini, AND croquet. he CAN swim, he CAN dance, and he DOES know Karate. he still wont make it though. sorry man.

since hes from the future i dont think he'd be terribly confused by current slang/terms, hed more look at it like we see terms from like... the 80-90s or anything before that as "oh wow people used to say that? huh. interesting."

im going back on a headcanon ive had since i saw the movie im SoRRYYY but he cant curse. from what ive seen from the comics he uses replacements like "shock" and "bithead", thats it. maybe he says fuck on accident or in spanish (he technically kind of does depending on how you see "Ay Coño" being said but thats beside the point).

probably a blue eyes hater idk he just gives me the vibe of saying "jesus christ your eyes are way too blue, get contacts please im begging you stop looking at me" which is probably why him and gwen have so much beef.

i dont give a shit about what the movie says his fangs are not retractable fuck you. (he still has crooked teeth though i will never forget about those <3 )

autism be damned my guy can work a grill 🔥🔥🔥🔥

a lot of people cant really tell if hes pissed or not by his tone sometimes. is this projection? yeah, next question.

he hardly ever sleeps but when he does its like hes dead (at least when its dead quiet, which again, isnt often so he hardly ever gets a good nights sleep). you'd have to use a fucking blowtorch to the face to wake him up.

i also see him as not only having hypersensitive vision but also having elevated senses period. hearing, smell, touch, etc. probably the main reason he sits in the dark with no other noise.

branching off of that he frequently gets migraines of things get to stressful or too loud or if anything is very off about his schedule.

arachnophobe. ha.

cat person.

cat person as in he likes cats not like hes a catboy.. i shouldnt specify that actually that just makes it worse but i will anyway because tumblr hellsite will be tumblr hellsite

he partially likes lego peter because his daughter really liked lego.

ok but like think about it he'd probably be really good at taking legos apart with those claws. like imagine. it'd be nothing for him.

hasnt spoken to gabriel in years. he cant bring himself to reach out and when gabriel does he just doesnt have the energy to try and respond. he has no idea how to, especially now.

this is very specific but he stims a lot with his claws. like extend and retract over and over absentmindedly (mainly because thats what i'd do if i had claws imagine how fun that would be)

he usually bottles up all the emotions that he has, including anger. kind of explains why he lost it in the chase scene in my head because he reached a boiling point. he hates talking to people about his problems.

empanadas are his safe food, also theyre just easy to eat when your mouth is a little funky (i would know i have some fucked up braces theyre great for that 10/10), its mostly just easier on his fangs.

definitely horrible at the whole self are thing. he just forgets, all the time. would forget to breathe if it wasnt involuntary

if you say anything he doesnt particularly like (eg "hey bro are you okay do you wanna talk") he'll just stare at you with his rat eyes like 👁️👁️ until you stopped idk what im saying.

he is a bit touch starved, depending on his mood he'll let people touch him in a friendly (emphasis on friendly. friendly friendly friendly dont take it any other way :/) way.

OH I almost forgot about this one: he hisses. some spiders hiss. so does he. vampire furry energy

he also gets pissed when people call him a vampire so uh... im counting my days oops.

will go out and sit in the rain. (wait would it still rain in the future? is the climate still fucked in his timeline or nah)

like "ah, its water time" and goes out to sit like this:

Man if only there was a rain filter

that is all i have for now maybe if something else comes up ill reblog with new stuff >:)