#it's nice when people care but it's really hard not to feel like a burden

[dwtdog]

Nursing Home AU, from the list of reverse tropes

DNF, ~1.7k words, fun little drabble as a break from finals :33

George’s walker catches on a stray piece of carpet and he grumbles, waving off the nearby nurse who turns her head toward him. He can handle this himself, thank you very much.

He straightens his back as he nears the door that he knows opens to the room just above his, all the complaints he’s built up in the weeks since his upstairs neighbors moved in at the tip of his tongue as he raises a fist to knock, grunting slightly at the way his shoulder creaks with the effort.

After three quick, hard knocks that he’s sure will be audible through whatever hearing impairment burdens the person behind the door, he studies the decorations with a careful eye. There are unframed pictures scattered across the door, some close to falling off the weak adhesives that secure them. George has to hold himself back from pressing them back down, telling himself that whoever is pictured in them probably deserves to have their treasured family pictures swept up by the night workers.

Because they’ve made George’s life a living hell.

He didn’t think his time in a nursing home could get any worse, until this neighbor moved in. It was like they had bricks attached to the bottoms of their shoes and frequently performed tap dancing routines, or like they had a particularly rambunctious pet elephant that traipsed around the place at all hours of the day.

George had done his best to be patient. He really had, but it’d been long enough. He’s dealing with this here, and now.

As if summoned by his thoughts, the door handle turns, and the solid wood slowly eases open towards him. He shuffles back to avoid being hit, because he doesn’t exactly trust them to be caring of his health now.

The deep frown that he’s been wearing since he was awoken that morning by thundering footsteps directly above his bed shifts to something softer when he sees the man opening the door.

The first thing George notices about him are the eyes- a golden yellow that he knows is really green, set in a kind face weathered with smile lines. The second thing George notices is that he does not, in fact, have bricks attached to his shoes, and that brings the frown right back to his face.

“Uh- Hello. How can I help you?” the man asks, and he sounds nice enough. George thinks it’s an elaborate front.

“Are you aware,” George starts, bringing his eyes up from the mans shoes. “That there are people living below you?”

He blinks. “It would be pretty weird if they didn’t, yeah?”

“So you are aware them,” George clears his throat, crossing his arms. “That you should consider that before stomping around up here like a bull with dementia?”

George almost finds it satisfying, to watch the way his expression goes from open and friendly to sour, the way his stance comes to mirror George’s, down to the crossed arms. 

“So it’s a sin for a man to walk around his own house now is it?” he says, and George finds it hard to take him seriously with the ridiculous hat covering silvery hair- it’s pointed at the corners, taking a shape similar to the ears of a cat. “Just turn down your hearing aids.”

“Don’t need them,” George says curtly, rubbing a finger over the skin of his left ring finger, a habit he hadn’t dropped since his divorce. It draws his eyes to the same place on the man across from him, and he notices that he wears no ring either. “And it is a sin if you’re disrupting my sleep.”

He looks ready to argue back, but his eyes dart down to the movement of George’s finger, and he seems to change his mind. “Listen if you want to debate the bible, the lady three doors down can go for hours. Let’s say, instead, you come in for a cup of hot chocolate. Get all your complaining out.”

George shifts on his feet, feeling his hip pop as he does, and it reminds him that sitting down sometime soon would be nice….

“Fine. But if there’s no vodka in that chocolate I’m stealing something.”

With a small smile that makes George’s heart flutter in a way it hasn’t in decades, the man steps aside, pushing the door all the way open. “I’m Dream, by the way. I don’t think you introduced yourself.”

“George,” he replies as he steps forward, struggling for a moment to lift his walker over the edge between the hall and Dream’s carpet. “Strange name.”

Dream laughs, and George is distracted from looking over every inch of his apartment when a small animal appears, walking with its tail held high. 

“You have a cat,” he observes, and Dream turns from where he’d been pouring milk to heat up. George sets his walker to the side as he ever so carefully crouches down to pet the thing, smiling to himself when it purrs.

“He likes you,” Dream says, and there’s a note of fondness in his voice. “That’s Spirit. He probably hates my stomping just as much as you do.”

“Oh, you’re a smart one then, aren’t you,” George coos, rubbing under the cats chin. He’s a big cat, with long orange fur and some spots of gray on his muzzle, and ridiculously long whiskers that tickle where they brush against George’s leg. “You ought to bite him more. Maybe piss on his bed,” George says in a faux whiper, leaning down as much as he can.

“Oh, so now you’re trying to turn my cat against me?” Dream says, and George nearly jumps from the sudden proximity. “Need a hand up?”

George huffs, glaring at the offered hand but taking it anyway, groaning loudly as he stands. “So you can walk quietly,” he grumbles, eyeing the distance between he kitchenette and his current position.

“Only when I want to” Dream says with a wink, and George really wishes he still had his own cane- a much better weapon. “Come here, sit down before I have to call someone to help you. God forbid that new one- what’s her name- Rosa, god forbid she shows up. She’d have you on the ambulance in a matter of minutes.”

George laughs, following as Dream leads him to a chair in the living area, acutely aware of their still connected hands. “She on this floor too? Sent my neighbor to hospice for a cough. Haven’t seen her since.”

As George lowers himself onto the chair, Dream still doesn’t let his hand go, and George can feel a blush, of all things, creeping up his neck and staining his face.

“You planning to hold my hand forever, or-” George suggests, just as the microwave beeps. “Don’t tell me you microwaved the milk.”

“How else would I do it?” Dream asks, pulling his hand back and turning back to his microwaved milk. “You want peppermint?”

“I want vodka. And I don’t know, on the stove, maybe?”

“Too much work,” Dream says cheerily, and George sighs, long and exaggerated. 

He looks around Dream’s living space as he waits, noting the various pictures with his seemingly excessively large family. It’s not the only thing he’s looking for, but he can’t help but notice the lack of any sort of spouse.

“Snooping around already?” Dream asks as he returns, two steaming mugs in his hands. “You could probably find my whole life’s story on these walls.”

George meets his eye as he hands a mug over, wrapping his easily chilled hands around it gratefully. Dream takes the chair opposite his, and watches as George takes his first sip. As much as he wants to hate whatever microwaved monstrosity is swirling in the mug, he has to admit that it tastes damn good.

“‘T’s good,” he says into the mug, not missing the way Dream’s face lights up at the admission. “Family recipe?”

“Nope, all mine,” Dream says with a grin. “Come on, I know you have questions. Hit me.”

George hums, making a show of thinking it over. The burning question feels too obvious, and too revealing. He’s only just met this man a few minutes ago, he shouldn’t be asking about his love life. And yet-

“No wife?” he asks bluntly, taking a big sip right after. 

Dream laughs, setting his own mug aside as he leans forward, planting his elbows on his knees. “Nope. Never settled down. Always felt like I was chasing something just out of reach, like I needed to wait until the perfect person came along. And now look at me,” he laughs again, this time sounding more forced. “Left in a home to die alone. Probably doesn’t help I only realized it wasn’t a wife I should have been looking for what, ten years ago?”

George leans back in his chair, studying Dream in a new light. “Trust me, men aren’t worth it either. My husband filed for divorce, what, 20 years back? Never even bothered to tell me why. One day there, the next, gone. Took everything too.”

“That why you ended up in Florida? Don’t meet many British people around here.”

“Wanted to die under the sun,” George says easily, the alcohol warming his veins. “London was too grey, too many memories. I always loved it here.”

They sit in silence for a bit after that, only broken by Spirit jumping up to George’s lap with a loud meow.

“So no kids?” George asks, easing one of Spirit’s big paws away from where it’s kneading at his shorts, claws digging into his skin.

“You’ve got the only one on your lap,” Dream says. “Well, grandkid, technically. His mom was mine too.”

George nods, tangling his fingers in the long fur. “You ever think about second chances?”

“I think I’m on third’s by now,” Dream chuckles, meeting George’s eyes curiously. “Why, you rethinking the way you introduced yourself?”

“In your dream’s,” George says with a grin. “But I wouldn’t mind coming over again- to tell you off, probably.”

“And to pet my cat. And drink my vodka.”

“That too,” George nods. “Might need to visit a lot, then.”

“Well,” Dream shifts in his seat, and he appears to be fighting off a smile. It still reaches his eyes, and George can’t help but think of the man he sees on the walls- happy, glowing. Hopeful. “Then I guess I’d have to let you in. As an apology for the stomping.”

[irwinsblender]

inner demons

a/n: i’ve written this over the span of a few weeks bc my mental health has been down the drain recently and i needed an outlet. i wasn’t sure about uploading this, but here it is anyway

also used these pictures of ashton bc that’s how i imagine he’d look when listening to you rant about how you’re feeling

pairing: ashton x reader

summary: your mental health has been getting worse again and ashton is there to try and help you through it

warnings: depression, self harm, reference to suicide - and please, if you find any of these triggering, don’t read this fic

word count: 3k

✩ ✩ ✩

winter was one of the worst times of year for you. specifically, for your mental health. the dreary, rainy and cloudy weather, days becoming dark hours earlier than in the summer was always hard on you.

your mental health was bad already. you’d been suffering with depression for quite a long time now. it first started at school when you couldn’t deal with exams along with certain horrible people in your classes, that seemed to linger for a few years after you graduated.

just when you thought things were getting better, the pandemic hit, causing you to relapse and become worse than before. you didn’t know how to deal with all of the terrible thoughts that were constantly going around your head, including thoughts telling you to hurt yourself.

and you did, you turned to that to help you cope with feeling so exhausted. in the end, it didn’t really help. but you had nothing else to help you.

until you met ashton irwin. your now boyfriend.

you’d never met anyone as caring as him. he always listened to anything you had to say, he was there for you when you needed to rant; most of all, he didn’t leave after you told him about your struggles.

in fact, he empathised with you. telling you about his struggles and ways he tried to get through them. he promised then and there that he would always be there to support you and would never judge you for any of your thoughts or emotions.

you always appreciated ashton, but you found it hard to tell him when you were beginning to struggle more again. you felt pathetic not being able to cope on your own, you felt like a burden in his life every time you had to involve him in your problems.

this was one of those times.

it had been a long day, or at least it felt like it had been. it was raining all day, something you hated. you hadn’t been able to get out of bed, you hadn’t eaten, only had a drink of water which ashton brought to you before he left the house earlier in the day.

you’d been sitting in the bathroom for the past hour with the door locked. you’d told ashton you were going to have a shower, but, you never got that far. ashton would’ve noticed that the noise of the shower never started, but he’s always been respectful to leave you to whatever you need to do.

it was different this time though. it was too quiet. he was sat in the living room, planning on cooking you both a nice dinner. however, you’d been acting different today. you’d been quiet, not as cheerful as usual when he arrived home from being elsewhere.

you were sat on the closed toilet, leaning against the counter as tears fell down your face. deciding if you were going to do what your mind had been telling you to do. you didn’t want to hurt yourself again, but what choice did you have? nothing else helped. it was practically staring you in the face from where you’d placed the sharp object on the counter.

you looked down at your arms, marks from a couple of weeks ago that were starting to heal properly. marks you hadn’t told ashton about. ashton knew you struggled more at this time of year; he’d been busy recently with work, he hadn’t had time to notice things going even more downhill.

while you were contemplating your choices, ashton had been making his way upstairs. he decided that maybe you needed some company with showering. you told him previously that you find it comforting showering together, so that’s what he’d do.

he entered the bedroom, still hearing no movement. he tried to go into the bathroom, met with the door not budging. just the handle twisting. he couldn’t open the door. you’d locked it.

“sweetheart?” he called out, sudden worry washing over him. “you okay in there?”

you’d jumped at the sound of him trying to open the door, you don’t usually lock it, but it was necessary this time. you didn’t answer him, trying to muffle your cries.

“baby? please answer me,” you could hear the frustration and fear in his tone. “i’m here for you, i’m not going anywhere.”

“i’m fine, ash,” you sniffled. “just leave me alone.”

it came out harsher than you meant it to. your emotions playing a part. you never ask him to leave you alone. that only happened when you were in this kind of situation.

“i’m not leaving,” ashton replied. “talk to me, please, i’m here, whatever you need.”

you let out an accidental loud cry, placing your head in your hands as you couldn’t hold back your cries any longer. you were in so much pain it was hard to handle.

ashton’s heart broke hearing the way you were crying. why hadn’t he noticed you weren’t as happy as normal, why hadn’t he noticed your depression taking a toll again. he should’ve noticed.

“can you open the door, baby?” he asked, trying his luck before he’d have to figure something else out.

“no,” you said with a gasp, your crying almost uncontrollable as you moved to pick the object up from the counter.

your shaky hands weren’t helping, causing you to drop it, making a clanging noise as it hit the floor. you knew ashton would’ve heard it, he would’ve put two and two together. you couldn’t pick it up, crying even harder.

ashton was going through his nightstand already, trying to find the outside key for the bathroom door. he was panicking by now, frantically trying to find it, worried when he didn’t come upon it instantly. until, a light caught his eye on the dresser.

the light reflecting on the key, he quickly picked it up, going back to the bathroom door. he slid the key into the lock, twisting it two times until he heard it click.

he pushed it open, causing you to quickly try and turn away, rushing to pull the sleeves of your hoodie down before he could see anything. you wiped your eyes on your sleeves instead, only glancing over to him for a second.

ashton looked to you first, he couldn’t miss the way you pulled at your sleeves, he looked to the ground, seeing the razor there, but it was clean which gave him slight relief.

he moved it out of the way, walking to you slowly, crouching down beside you. he placed one hand on your knee, caressing his thumb back and fourth, the other on your waist.

“i’m here, baby, i’m here now,” he tried to reassure. “what do you need?”

you shook your head, you couldn’t even look at him. you felt pathetic, like a disgrace. you couldn’t look your own boyfriend in the eye because you were embarrassed about how badly you were handling things.

ashton saw the expression on your face, it was too familiar. the same a couple of years ago, when you were struggling, when you had been harming yourself. he knew what was going on now.

“it’s okay if you’re not doing okay, love,” he said, cupping your cheek in one of his hands, wiping away your tears.

“i’m fine,” you bluntly responded. “i’m always fine, everything is always just fine.”

your hurt started turning into slight anger. angry with yourself, angry with the way you kept going around in circles with your mental health. you got a little better, and then things always became worse. it’s the same thing over and over and over.

“baby—“

“just leave me alone,” you folded your arms, pushing his hands away from you. not thinking straight with the other thoughts clouding your mind.

“i don’t want you to be alone,” ashton softly replied, trying to keep calm in this situation. “you don’t have to go through this alone.”

“i’m handling it,” you tried to get a subtle look behind ashton, trying to find where the razor was. if you could just get him to leave—

“angel,” he got your attention. knowing that nickname would stop you from whatever else you’re thinking about. “you know it’s okay if you aren’t doing good, this isn’t something that will instantly go away, there are ups and downs and that’s okay. wherever you’re at now, i’m here to help you through it.”

you cried harder at that. everything was hurting. you were exhausted with life. you didn’t want to keep living like this.

“i’m sorry,” you cried, holding your hands over your face. “i’m so sorry.”

“hey, hey, it’s okay, why are you sorry?” ashton asked, standing himself up as he took your hands in his.

“i— i did it again,” you blubbered. taking a breath to try and control your crying. ashton didn’t know what you were talking about. “i know i said i’d talk to you if i felt that bad again, but i just— i couldn’t bring myself to tell you.”

then it clicked. he knew what you meant. locking yourself in the bathroom, the razor you’d dropped on the floor. you’d been self harming again.

“you don’t have to apologise for that, baby,” he sighed. “it’s not something easy to talk about, please don’t feel like you need to say sorry to me.”

you were quiet after he said that. trying not to keep crying the way you were while also trying to figure out what to say next. his hands were still in yours, not planning on letting go any time soon.

“i thought things were getting better,” you complained honestly. “i was happy travelling with you the last two months, and as soon as we got home everything started crashing down on me.”

“being on tour was a big distraction for you, a new city every night, seeing places you’ve never been before, you didn’t have time to think about anything else,” ashton reminded. “now we’re home, there’s days where we have nothing going on, it gives your mind time to overthink and for those bad thoughts to come back.”

you didn’t say anything after that, ashton could tell it wasn’t helping with you sitting in the bathroom, the razor behind him on the floor. he pulled at your hands softly, urging you to stand with him. thankfully you did, walking with him as he lead you through to the bedroom. he took you over to the bed, only letting go of your hands so he could sit back against the headboard.

“come here, love,” he held one arm out, waiting for you to get comfortable.

you sat down, shuffling over to him. your head resting against his shoulder, his arm around you to keep you close. he pressed a delicate kiss to your cheek, causing you to look up at him.

“i don’t know what to do,” you suddenly spoke. ashton allowing you to get your thoughts out. “this feels never ending, it feels like there’s no way out apart from—“

“baby,” he cut you off before you could finish your sentence. he knew what you were going to say, but he didn’t want to hear it come out of your mouth. “i know it’s hard, and i hate that you’re feeling like this again. you deserve so much happiness and i wish there was more i could do to take your pain away.”

“it hurts, ash,” you started to cry again, tears dropping down your cheeks continuously. “everything hurts so bad.”

he pulled you tighter against his chest, one hand on the back of your head, slowly running through your hair. he pressed soft kisses to your forehead every few moments, trying to let you know how much he loved you and that he was right there with you through this.

as your crying started to calm down, ashton took one of your hands in his, stretching out your arm slightly. you looked up at him, wondering what he was doing.

“can i see?” he asked.

you weren’t sure at first, but eventually nodded your head. he gently pulled up your sleeve, each mark, scar and any new cuts revealing themselves to him. you sighed seeing the upset look on his face.

“they’re horrible,” you sniffled. tugging your arm away from him. “i’m sorry.”

“they aren’t horrible, baby,” ashton held your hand. he ran his thumb over a couple of old scars, then he lifted your arm up, pressing kisses along the length of it. “they show strength. it shows you’ve been strong enough to fight to stay in this world.”

you didn’t know how he could see it like that. in your own head, it showed how weak you were, how bad you were at coping with life.

“you’re the strongest person i know,” ashton continued, pulling your sleeve back down as he kept your hand in his. “it takes strength to admit you aren’t doing good, so i’m proud of you for telling me.”

“i don’t know what to do, ash,” you slouched further into his grip, cheek pressed against his chest. “nothing’s getting better, i don’t know what to do to get better. this cycle is becoming too much to deal with.”

ashton could’ve cried hearing you say that. knowing the person he loved is feeling so defeated broke his heart. he would do anything it takes to make you feel better, to try and help you.

“i’m here for you, baby,” he stroked his hand softly through your hair. “anything you need me to do, just say the word, i promise i will always be here for you.”

“i don’t know what else will help,” you sniffled. “therapy didn’t work, the meds made me feel worse, there’s nothing else. i have nothing else.”

“you have me,” ashton cupped your cheek in his hand, lifting your head to look at him. “if you want me to listen, if you need advice, if you want me to distract you, or if you just want me to hold you while you cry, i'll be here. no matter what.”

he leaned down, kissing your forehead before pecking your lips a few times in a row. finally getting a small smile out of you. if he could see your smile every day, his life would be complete. that’s all he wanted. for you to be happy.

“i’m sorry for being like this again,” you sighed. not holding eye contact. “i don’t know how you put up with me.”

“i’m not putting up with this,” ashton shook his head. “i care about you, more than anything, i’ll do whatever it takes to make this a little easier for you to get through, because you can get through it.”

you shuffle down, your head resting on his stomach as you close your eyes. tired out from the chaos of your own mind.

“we could take a few trips,” ashton suggested. “you love travelling. i know you still have that list of places you want to visit.”

“i do, but…” you paused, opening your eyes as you squeezed ashton’s hand in yours. “what happens when we come home? i’ll just be like this again.”

“we’ll try and find other things for you to enjoy,” ashton was determined to stay positive in this situation. “you love to draw, you love to create art, and i’ve seen the way you watch me play the drums and guitar. i could teach you, give you something else to put your mind to.”

you thought for a moment, wiping your sleeves over your eyes one last time. you couldn’t believe ashton still wanted to bother with trying after how difficult and negative you always were in this situation.

“okay,” you mumbled. ashton was surprised to hear that you’ll do this. “i don’t know if it’ll help, but i’ll try.”

“that’s a start,” ashton smiled. “the best thing you can do is try. even if it takes time.”

you nodded. finally looking up at him. you shuffled yourself upwards, capturing his lips in a unexpected but loving kiss. placing your hand on his cheek softly as you pull away.

“how would you feel about getting a guitar?” he asked, hands on your waist pulling you to straddle him. “i know how much you love painting, we could buy some paint for it so you can make it your own.”

“i could paint little flowers on it,” you excitedly suggested. “and maybe some butterflies too, that would look pretty.”

ashton nodded in agreement, just happy that you were willing to do this to see if it’ll help having your mind preoccupied with something like learning how to play an instrument. he hoped this would help, hating seeing you hurting like this.

“well, the band has no plans on making new music just yet,” ashton tucked your hair behind your ears. “we could take a trip soon… italy maybe?”

“really? you want go to italy before going back to australia?” you asked, one of your bucket list places, knowing how much he wanted to head back to australia after tour ended.

“australia can wait, i want to make sure you’re okay first.”

you let out a long breath, leaning towards him to wrap your arms around his neck, his arms around your back as he hugged you as close to him as he could get you. he kissed your cheek, making sure you knew he would always be there for moments like this.

“i love you,” he said quietly. “remember i’ll always be here, for anything you need. you don’t have to go through this alone.”

“i don’t know what i’d do without you,” you held him tighter. “i love you, ash.”

a few more tears threatened to leave your eyes as you hugged. you truly didn’t think you’d be here anymore if ashton hadn’t come into your life when he did. and now he can be your anchor that grounds you and gives you a reason to try and live this life, no matter how tough it might be.

✩ ✩ ✩

taglist: @hexsdexs @conspiracy-ash @oliviah-25 @superbloomrry | if you would like to join my taglist, please comment here or see this post

[eubybubble]

arguing with slytherin boys / pt.2

ft. Tom, Mattheo, Theodore, Lorenzo

warnings: curse words, mentions of abuse, addictions

Theodore Nott

You wanted to help Theo, really. His smoking wouldn't have angered you if he wasn't going through two packs in a day. It was genuinely hard to express your concerns without sounding like a parent or authority figure. But as you attempted to have yet another “serious conversation” with him, you initially thought it was heading toward success. Turns out you just misunderstood his mocking tone as softness and surrender.

“Ah, so you care about me? Answer me, amore, are you my mother? Then tell me, why do my habits piss you off that much?” he advanced towards you, slowly cornering you until your back met the cold wall. You closed your eyes in a desperate attempt to pretend it's a nightmare, hoped for it to end sooner and start again. But it was real, and Theo barely controlled himself “Am I not good enough for Ms. Perfect? My “addictions” shouldn’t worry you, can’t you understand?” His fist landed just an inch away from your face.

Tom Riddle

You decided to drop in and check on Tom since he hadn’t been talking to you for a few weeks now. He was busy working on some project. You made a cute lunch and even drew his portrait with watercolor. You couldn’t contain your excitement as you hurried to his room. What will be his reaction? Did he miss you too? Reality hit harder than you could’ve ever imagined. He eyed you and things in your hand with a little to no interest.

“Just how many times did I tell you not to disturb me? Not to meddle in my business? I don’t need it," he stated firmly. His words rang in your ears, and you didn’t listen much as he continued, “I was right, in the end relationships proved to be troublesome trivia. It was nice to know you. But now, leave.”

Mattheo Riddle

You’ve been avoiding him for the last few weeks after hearing rumors about his ties to dark organizations and massacre in the outskirts of Hogsmeade. Now, he was confronting you. Can’t really escape when he’s towering right above you in the middle of a dorm room.

“Are we even dating at this point? ‘Cuz i feel like I’m a fucking joke to you, not a boyfriend” Mattheo calmly stood in front of you, staring at you with eyes full of hatred “Little bird told me you’re afraid of me. Why, is it because my surname is Riddle? I thought you weren’t that dumb like others to judge me on my family relations which I don’t give a fuck about” he spat out the last words. His lips curled in disgust as he shoved a box full of your gifts and memories into your hands, leaving you dumbfounded in the solitude of your room.

Lorenzo Berkshire

The last few weeks have been tough for every seventh-year at Hogwarts. Tables were cluttered with heaps of homework and essays, and an unhealthy number of coffee mugs in common rooms weren’t surprising anymore. Amidst this academic crisis, your boyfriend was the most affected one. He had to maintain his top spot, not for himself but for his parents.

You were genuinely worried about him and tried to help him unwind a bit, but he consistently refused and distanced himself even more. When you suggested going to Hogsmeade, he suddenly snapped, growling in frustration

“Just fuck off. I have a lot to manage, and you're being a burden right now. Can’t you spend a minute without me?” He kept ruffling his hair and rubbing his temples in annoyance. “I need a break” He didn’t care to explain what break he needed and didn’t even look at you as he left the common room in a hurry.

a/n: yes, i like making people suffer and yes there’ll be part 2 with Draco, Blaise and Regulus

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Okay so thought would Astarion just be uber happy if tav is just clinging to him and is like let me stay here where it is safe for just a little longer pleaseee

I think I'm feeling the energy. And it's an actual drabble instead of a novel! Cw: In-game references, spoilers, but this is just some fluffy fluff fluff.

~

When Astarion made the decision to seduce you, it had been based in cold rationality. In the short time he had known you, you had proven to be intelligent, capable, attractive enough for sex to not feel like a total burden, and extremely hard to kill. Using a falsified relationship to wrap you around his finger was the easy choice for survival. And it did work, with varying results.

Because you provided many, many complications. Like the unfortunate reality that Astarion quickly had grown sincerely fond of you. Not only were you impressively competent, you were fun. Hilariously bitchy in a way that never failed to make him laugh. But you were still kind, kind in a meaningful way that Astarion was simply not used to.

It had felt like a shock when you were so adamant about his right to be his own person. When you didn't make him bite that drow cretin he was struck with the realization that you actually cared about him. What that thing had been offering in return would no doubt have been useful to your journey, but you didn't even give it a second thought. And Astarion wouldn't soon forget how you saying, "He said no," with so much conviction had sent a shiver up his spine.

Perhaps the whole event sent him into a tailspin that ended with him admitting his, in-hindsight, horrible plan, but it had been worth it in the end. Gods knows why, but you didn't abandon him when he revealed the truth. You just listened. You listened and opened up your mind for him to see just how much you cared for him. A care he perhaps didn't deserve, but one he would take. Even if he had no idea what the two of you were doing anymore.

But he did know that something shifted in your relationship after that, the birth of a new kind of trust. Apparently, Astarion hadn't been the only one holding back.

Because seemingly overnight, you got a lot more touchy. A facet of yourself that he really had not seen coming. Not sexually, no. You had been nothing but a dream when it came to understanding the hang-ups he had with that particular topic. But you did suddenly decide that you loved holding hands. You loved hugging him, for no reason at all. The two of you went from the occasional night together before parting ways to simply sharing a tent. And gods were you a cuddler. Every morning he would wake up with you wrapped around him, peaceful and at ease as you slept in his arms.

And... it was nice. Really, really nice. Astarion had always assumed that he would loathe being with someone who was so tactile. But it turned out when every little touch wasn't leading to mediocre and/or horrifying sex they were actually quite enjoyable. It felt good to have you so close, to know that you felt safe and comfortable with him of all people. Nice enough for Astarion to slowly get addicted to it. He wasn't quite sure when his favorite past time became reading while you laid on top of him, but he knew it claimed to top spot with startlingly speed.

Even now, with Cazador still looming, the tadpoles still squirming behind your eyes, worries and responsibilities abound, Astarion felt completely at peace. He was laying flat on his back on his bed roll, a book in one hand and the other carefully petting your hair as you dozed off; your body completely draped over him. He'd have to wake you sooner than later. Baldur's Gate was only a day's journey away now, and if you wanted to make it there before nightfall then everyone would have to get moving. He could already hear the sound of the others shuffling about.

He snapped his book shut, setting it to the side before he gently shook you, "It's time to rise and shine darling, Baldur's Gate won't be saving itself."

You mumbled as you buried your face into his chest, your words slurred, "Don't wanna. Too early."

That was another change with this newfound phase of trust. Astarion had become the only person who knew your little secret of not being a morning person. In the first few moments of wakefulness, you were at your clingiest, your whiniest, surprisingly your most honest, and arguably your most adorable state of the day. A fact that you actively hid from the rest of the group out of sheer embarrassment, but Astarion thought it was cute.

Not to mention that it made him feel special, oddly enough. That he was the only one who was allowed to see you like this; who could take care of you like this.

Astarion laughed at your response, "Tell that to the sun sweetheart. It's high-time we got going."

Despite his own words, he wasn't really doing much to move the process along. If anything he was hindering it when he wrapped his arms around you, only helping to make you more comfortable instead of less.

But then again, maybe he wasn't quite ready to let you go yet either.

You shook your head against him, your hands tightening on the fabric of his shirt, "Le'mme stay, just a little longer."

"That's easy for you to say when you're not the one to get Lae'zel's wrath," Astarion lightly argued, still making no moves to actually hurry this process along. But it was true, Lae'zel always blamed your lateness on him, her favoritism towards you blatantly obvious. The bitch. But at least she was a bitch with good taste, "I would prefer not to be murdered by a gith for being tardy."

But you were already back to being half-asleep, your internal filter completely disintegrated as you mumbled, "Feels safe here, with you. Don't wanna let it go yet. Please?"

Gods, how the in the nine hells was Astarion supposed to say no to that? He didn't. Instead the grip he had on you only tightened, the happy little sigh you let out at the movement striking him straight through the heart. He felt so... happy in that moment, through nothing more than the simplicity of holding you. Because you trusted him. You felt safe with him, which might as well have been a love confession in Astarion's world. It felt so good to have this, an intimacy that he'd been denied for centuries.

Astarion settled back, letting his own eyes close as he smiled. The others would get the two of you eventually, but until then he wasn't going anywhere. No, the two of you would be staying right here.

[nervoussagittarius]

DATING CHRIS STURNIOLO HEADCANNONS

chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: suggestive and fluffy

☼ chris is always filling you in on new ideas he has. whether its for fresh love or it’s for anything he does with his brother. he’s scared to admit it but your easily his muse and he loves being able to tell you how you inspired a project or video

☼ chris’s love language is physical touch. he always has to be touching you in some way shape or from. although he loves being near you, he understands if you need to have your personal space for a little bit, so he always asks if he can touch you after these times. but it’s hard to get him to stop after he starts

☼ chris loves having physical touch given to him as well. he will never turn down any form of touch. like stated above, he understands when you need your space but that doesn’t stop him from craving your affection in these moments

☼chris likes to stay on top of everything going on in your life. he wants the vlogs and texts about what you’re up to. he doesn’t do it in a controlling way. he’s genuinely just curious and loves supporting and congratulating the little things. his responses usually look like “i’m so happy your food turned out good baby. thanks for vlogging the process for me”

☼ chris loves making you laugh. he’s such an unserious man. any chance he has to see your smile is what he lives for. nothing will stop him from cracking a joke even in the most inappropriate times

★ chris loves pda. he wants to kiss you and hug you when he’s out and about. he’s not afraid to slap your ass or grab your neck a little out in public so people know you’re his

☼ chris wants to go everywhere with you. doesn’t matter. it could be the littlest errand but he’s passenger princessing his way there

☼ chris might not have his license, but if you do, he refuses to ask you for rides. unless y’all have plans to go somewhere or he goes with you when you have to go out, he’s not asking you to drive him anywhere. he doesn’t ever want to be a burden because he knows sometimes you really just don’t want to drive. so he’ll ask matt even if you’re right next to him and it annoys you because you’re always willing to take him out.

☼ chris is a huge follower of the sidewalk rule. he loves going on walks with you when the weathers nice but he blocks you from the road at all times. doesn’t matter if there’s something you want to see or if you’re trying to cross the street, he’s holding you hand and pushing you away from being anywhere near the road.

☼ chris isn’t big on cheesy dates. he doesn’t really want to go sit at a restaurant or do any of the basic stuff seen in romcoms. he wants to go have adventures and have have spontaneous fun. he’s never one to plan dates he likes to turn random day to day activities into big events

☼ chris loves being a little spoon and he loves being held. he often just crawls into you when your sitting or laying down. he’ll take your arms and wrap them around him so you have no choice but to hold him. bonus points if you play with his hair or rub his back

★ chris hates sleeping alone. he doesn’t care where you are, if he wants to sleep he’s finding you so you can lay with him. especially after sex he just wants to be next to you so he knows you’re okay

☼ chris makes sure he has your favorite drinks stocked for when you come over. he knows how sad he feels when he runs out of pepsi so he doesn’t want you to have to experience that

☼ chris gets hangry really easily. once he’s hungry he needs to eat immediately or he can’t control his words or actions. he’s known to do stuff he doesn’t mean when he’s hungry so you know not to take it to heart

★ chris will always apologize first. it might take him a few minutes to get his head out of his ass, but it doesn’t matter the situation or the argument or which one of you was in the right or wrong, he’s saying sorry. the last thing he wants is to prolong something that can be easily fixed with an apology. he’s a firm believer of never going to bed angry and he loves make up sex to really prove he feels bad

☼ chris is never letting you listen to your music, but he will incorporate your songs into his playlists. he loves being on aux and he thinks he’s the king of it. always has some good tunes playing

an: i don’t know what happened here but the words just kept coming ig

[mylonelylittlestar]

XAVIER: RED FLAGS

Summary: Some of Xaviers' tiny and massive red flags Warnings: mentions of murder

Will sometimes not show up to dates because he didn't hear his alarm in his sleep. He feels guilty about it, but it will happen again.

Can't cook at all. Genuine fire hazard in the kitchen, which is pretty bad for a normal human, but he's like... old. He should know how to cook.

Too calm about murder. Like he just isn't bothered when he has to kill people. Doesn't care about corpses and blood, etc. There's no guilt, no shame, nothing. It's a regular Tuesday for him.

He gets a bit confused when you freak out about him killing someone, not realising how odd his behaviour is from your point of view until you spell it out for him.

He probably takes the health of your heart as seriously as Zayne does (if not more seriously) and he will never explain why. He doesn't see the point in coming clean about that stuff.

He will also probably never explain the star tassel on his sword. He will just say that someone he loved very dearly gave it to him a long time ago and never tell you that he's talking about you. He doesn't realise that it makes you feel like you're the second choice unless you explicitly tell him.

Eats your leftovers without asking. Doesn't matter what it is. He's like a racoon.

He will also eat stale chips and flat soda without complaint when he's hungry (and he's always hungry)

Has no playlists on Spotify. He just listens to his liked songs on shuffle

You could get murdered next to him, and he would accidentally sleep through it (and then he would hunt down the people who killed you and wait for your next reincarnation)

Does not own a single pen. Not even one. Or kitchen scissors. Or tape. Or straws. Or more than 3 cups and 4 plates. But he does have a bedframe and nice curtains and bedsheets and beautiful towels, and that makes him better than a lot of other guys.

Has to buy new headphones every 3-5 months because he keeps losing them. He usually forgets them on the subway.

He takes a lot of time in the shower. Sometimes you think he fell asleep while washing out his shampoo.

Top player in the world in some shitty mobile game like garden scapes. He has definitely spent money on it as well after promising himself he would never do that, and thousands of older women worldwide ask themselves who that mysterious number 1 player is who's somehow level 18457

Regularly has to Google most phrases that people around him use because he genuinely doesn't understand them. He also still uses slang that is decades old (he's been alive for a long time and trends die quickly okay. It's hard to keep up with all that stuff)

Takes inaccuracies in historical dramas very personally

Doesn't talk much about his thoughts and feelings unless you explicitly ask him to do so. Would much rather talk about yours instead. He doesn't really think his own thoughts matter that much compared to yours.

He regularly has nightmares about his past. Especially about you dying in his arms (anecdotes 3). He never talks about his nightmares with you. Even begging will not soften him up. To him it would just be an unnecessary burden to place onto your shoulders.

[cursedonyx]

HL Cast React to you Cradling Them When They’re Upset

Sebastian Sallow

Sebastian craves physical comfort like a starving man craves bread, but he’s very rarely had the opportunity to express it. Solomon was not the hugging sort, Ominis typically loathes physical contact unless it’s necessary, and Anne… well. The curse makes it hard for her to bear a cuddle for long. Sebastian has trained himself to give brief hugs and pats on the back, if anything at all, worrying that he’ll be seen as clingy, needy, or annoying if he holds on too tight, or too long. The last thing he wants to be is annoying, least of all to you. He has to be strong, he has to be cheerful, he has to be the one that everyone relies on. That means he’s useful, and people will stay by him. He can’t be a burden, or he’ll be abandoned.

So when you find him in the Restricted Section, surrounded by books and weeping into his hands at the sheer hopelessness of everything, he’s stunned when your immediate reaction is to pull him into your lap. He tenses, embarrassed by his display of emotion and afraid of needing you too much. But the longer you hold him, the more his defences crumble, and it’s not long before he’s sobbing into your shoulder, unable to speak, desperate to be held, to be loved, to be given the affection he’s been denied for so long. He clings to you for hours, alternately apologising and crying some more.

Once he’s calmed down enough to think straight, he realises you’ve not let him go. He begins to worry, fretting that you’re only doing this to be nice, but you still don’t let him go. He begins to relax into you, accepting that finally, finally, he can hold and be held like he needs. He’s got years of missing affection to make up for, and this is only the start. From this moment, any moment not touching you is considered a moment wasted, and Sebastian will hold your hand, link your arms together, hook your ankle over his under the table, or simply sit close enough so his arm or leg is up against yours. That is, if he’s not outright hugging you or snuggling you. For the first few months, you’ll be lucky if you get five minutes to visit the loo alone, and he gets twitchy if you’re apart from him for too long.

He's yours for life. Treat him kindly.

Ominis Gaunt

Ominis isn’t really one for physical affection, especially if you’re only friends, or in the early stages of your relationship. He’s not used to it, almost afraid of it, having never really experienced it as a child, and disliking the rough, enthusiastic, inexperienced hugs his friends give. It’s nothing like the tender affection he craves, and ever the gentleman, he’s worried about overstepping his boundaries. Ever the traumatised soul, he’s afraid of asking for what he really wants. He knows this isn’t something he can demand, as he has been taught a Gaunt would.

He doesn’t emote much, especially negative emotions. He’s always been taught to hide negative feelings or any kind of extreme emotion, and he wears that self-control like armour. But he’s not infallible, things still get to him, especially as he bottles things up. So when a particularly barbed jab from another student gets under his skin, he retreats to the Undercroft to rant at the air. This is how you find him, striding up and down and shouting at nothing, as if he’s arguing with someone.

Of course, he’s very embarrassed to be found this way, and tries to cover it by sliding back into the careful neutrality he so often wears. You know better though. You sit behind him, slide your arms around his chest, and pull him into your lap, your hand at the back of his head, letting him rest against you.

It sparks a memory he thought he’d buried. He was four, he’d tripped over and scraped his knee. His parents had scolded him for crying, growing more irate as their harsh words upset him further, and then Aunt Noctua was there, lifting him into her arms and bearing him away from the pain and the anger that was all his parents ever gave him. She’d taken him to her rooms in the Manor and settled in a chair, holding his head to her chest and humming a lullaby, soothing him with a hand on the back of his head.

It’s one of the last memories he has of her, and as it surfaces, he breaks. No matter how much he tries to pull it back, he just can’t, and your arms are iron around him, like a cage. But it’s a cage he doesn’t want to be released from, craving the warmth of your embrace, longing for the love and safety that is such a distant, fragmented memory, something that seemed like an impossible dream until now. He feels he should be embarrassed by this horrendous display of failed control, but he just can’t bring himself to care. It’s a problem for future Ominis. Right now, all he cares about is the feel of your heartbeat against his cheek, the gentle scent of your skin, the feel of your body against his as you hold him so tenderly. To his utter disbelief, you hum a gentle melody. It’s not the lullaby Noctua used to sing, but it’s soft and warm and comforting.

After this, Ominis is much more free with his affection with you, though he still keeps it to a minimum around others. If he’s ever had a bad day, or just needs comforting, he leans into you in a particular way that you come to learn means he wants to be held like that again. He knows you’ll never judge him for it, and he loves you all the more because of it. He becomes increasingly protective of you, fearing losing you, but he is ever respectful of your boundaries.

When he thinks back over all the days you spent together, he realises the time you first held him like that was the moment his subconscious mind began planning your wedding, even if he didn’t know it at the time.

Garreth Weasley

Garreth is a naturally cheerful person, and while he can get irritable, it’s over quickly and he’s back to being happy. It’s very rare for him to get upset for any significant period of time, so it’s quite a shock when you find him in his dorm, head hanging, faded tear-tracks on his cheeks. He tries to brush it off, of course, to make a joke or try to make you laugh, but you know better. You sit beside him and ask, and he tries to change the subject. But with a little prodding, he eventually tells you, grudgingly, miserably, what's made him so down.

It doesn’t take much to convince him to curl up in your arms. Garreth has always been comfortable with affection, and would probably still climb in his mum’s lap if he didn’t worry that he’d flatten her. He’s worried that he’ll squash you and takes a good while for him to relax, but once he does, he fully flops on you, murmuring soft little sounds of contentment as you rub his back or play with his hair. If you try to pull away too soon, he pretends he’s still sad so you’ll cuddle him more, even if he’s feeling on top of the world that you’d be so kind to him.

It tells him that you’re just like him, happy to snuggle and happy to do what’s needed to make him feel good, as he would for you. He feels a deeper bond with you than before, and the rest of Hogwarts can expect to find the pair of you draped over each other in all corners of the castle after this.

Leander Prewett

It’s… a little awkward to begin with, especially because an upset Leander is often a hostile Leander, as it's the way he's learned how to protect himself. You eventually convince him to let you hold him, but it takes a while. Leander is very tall with rather long limbs, so getting him in your lap in the first place is a struggle, especially as he’s so resistant to begin with. He’s already embarrassed enough by being emotional then snappy in front of you, worried that you’re going to make fun of him or worse, pretend to be nice and tease him mercilessly later. It’s the last thing he needs. But, with a little coaxing (and a bit of tugging) you manage to settle him in your lap. Yeah, the height difference is even more noticeable now, but that doesn’t matter to you. You make sure he’s comfy and hold him tight, not saying a word, just letting your hug do the talking for you.

He doesn’t tell you what set him off this time, what made him so upset. But after a long while as he curls around you, his head on your shoulder, his legs dangling over the edge of the chair or bed on which you sit, he tells you little things about his past. Some of them are happy memories or silly stories. Some of them are not. Leander bears his soul to you in bits and pieces, every word he speaks the truth, and all you need to do is listen. This is the moment he truly falls for you, a helpless, headlong tumble, and he would fight a dragon with a wooden sword to keep you from this moment on.

Amit Thakkar

Amit has always worn his heart on his sleeve, and is free with his emotions around you once you two become firm friends, or a couple. He’s a gentleman through and through, though this is mostly down to his natural shyness. He prefers to focus on you and your problems than his own, assuring you that he’s perfectly alright if you find him feeling down. You find him one evening staring down at his telescope, on the verge of tears, as the lens has cracked. He doesn't mind telling you why it's so upsetting to him, expecting a hug or maybe a pat on the back. So it’s quite the surprise to him when you pull him into your lap and snuggle him close, and at first, he’s not sure what to do with himself. He holds himself very still and stiff, and you have to encourage him to relax more than once.

He soon finds himself sinking into your embrace, comforted by your presence and your kindness, the pair of you warming each other atop the chilly Astronomy Tower. He’ll freely admit to you what’s been preying on his mind as the lens was just the straw that broke the camel's back, and shyly admit he really enjoys this particular kind of cuddle. He’ll probably doze off in your lap if you sit like this too long, and Amit is a very heavy sleeper. If he manages to stay awake, he’ll run his hand over your back, trying to reciprocate some of the attention you’re giving him, trying to say without words just how much things like this mean to him.

He won’t indulge often, he likes to be the one holding you, but it’s comforting for him to know that it’s something he can enjoy if he truly needs a pick-me-up.

Andrew Larson

In all fairness, Andrew will be climbing into your lap the moment you give the barest hint that this is what you’re going to do when he’s upset. He’s free with his affection in a more subdued way than Garreth, perhaps, but he makes no secret of how much he loves being snuggled up in your lap. He loves the security of being held, especially if you play with his hair. It’s guaranteed to cheer him up in no time at all, no matter how low he’s feeling. He loves draping his head and arms over your shoulders, and if you’re strong enough to carry him, he’ll fall in love with you if you carry him to bed when he starts to drift off.

In fact, Andrew loves this attention and affection so much he might even make himself get all teary eyed if it means you���ll draw him into your lap and rock him back and forth, even if there’s nothing actually wrong. Once he learns you’ll cuddle him the way he wants regardless if whether he’s actually upset or not, he’ll quit with the crocodile tears and swap them for happy little giggles.

Poppy Sweeting

You’ve barely put your arms around her before Poppy has slung her arms around your neck, swinging her legs up and snuggling into your chest. It’s almost as if she’s been made to fit especially in your lap, her cheek fitting perfectly into the crook of your shoulder. She might play with your hair a little to distract herself from whatever it is that’s upset her, but she’ll be honest with you if you ask what the matter is. She’s always been a cuddly sort, and regardless of whether you’re simply friends or are dating, Poppy’s always going to be giving you hugs or asking for piggyback rides (or just climbing on you anyway). This is a natural progression for the both of you, though Poppy will most likely want to do the same for you the next time you’re upset.

She’s stronger than she looks, so don’t worry about squashing her.

Natsai Onai

Natsai has always been an affectionate soul, but she’s also tough as old iron and rarely shows when she’s upset unless it’s about to overcome her. She learned in her fifth year that she could always reach out to you when she was upset, so that’s what she does. It’s still a surprise for her when you pull her into your lap to hold her, she was only expecting a friendly pat on the back or perhaps a brief hug, but your gesture is welcome nonetheless. It reminds her of the way her father would hold her when she was little, and she takes great comfort in it. It’s not something Natsai will tolerate for long, as she’s always been good at recovering from upset quickly, and being an energetic soul, it’s not long before she’s fidgeting and wanting to move about. She prefers to be the one holding you at any rate, and can sit still for hours if she does. She’s always felt much more comfortable in giving affection than receiving it, though she really does enjoy it when you do.

Imelda Reyes

Lol are you joking? When Imelda’s upset she wants to be alone, and if you try and intrude on her when she’s having a bad day or worse, actually crying, she’ll chase you all through the Highlands just to beat you up. Sure, she’ll probably apologise afterwards when she’s calmed down, but she’s got a reputation to uphold as Hogwarts’ baddest bitch, and she won’t ever let anyone see her cry, let alone in anyone’s lap. Now, if it’s you that’s upset? You can bet your arse she won’t let you get off her lap unless you’re about to pass out or are busting for a piss.

Masterlist

[theambitiouswoman]

SELF TALK. Replacing the NEGATIVE things we say to ourselves with POSITIVE words 🦄💜✨✨

When we say bad things about ourselves, our minds and bodies pay attention and start believing those things. It's like a cycle. When we keep telling ourselves we're not good enough or can't do things, our minds start thinking it's true. These bad thoughts can make us act in ways that match what we believe, like avoiding things because we think we'll fail. Over time, our brain gets used to these thoughts and they become a regular part of how we see ourselves.

But if we say good things to ourselves, it can be really helpful. When we're kind in how we talk to ourselves, it can make us feel better and stronger. It's like giving ourselves a little boost of confidence. When we're positive, we can handle problems better and feel less stressed. When we believe good things about ourselves, we might do better in different situations. So it's important to notice how we talk to ourselves and try to say nice things, even if we don't always feel that way.

Negative: "I always mess things up." Positive: "I sometimes make mistakes, but I also learn from them."

Negative: "I'm so stupid." Positive: "I'm smart and capable; everyone makes errors."

Negative: "I can't do this; it's too hard." Positive: "I can handle challenges with effort and perseverance."

Negative: "I'll never succeed in anything." Positive: "I have the potential to achieve my goals through hard work."

Negative: "Nobody likes me." Positive: "I have people who care about me and value my company."

Negative: "I'm a failure." Positive: "I've achieved many things and will continue to grow."

Negative: "I'm not good enough." Positive: "I am enough just as I am, and I'm constantly improving."

Negative: "I'm a burden to others." Positive: "My presence and contributions make a positive impact."

Negative: "I always mess up social situations." Positive: "I can connect with others and enjoy social interactions."

Negative: "I'll never get over this." Positive: "I can heal and move forward from difficult situations."

Negative: "I'm so ugly." Positive: "I am unique and have qualities that make me attractive."

Negative: "I'll never be as good as them." Positive: "I have my own strengths and talents that are valuable."

Negative: "I'm a loser." Positive: "I have the courage to try and the ability to succeed."

Negative: "I'm always so awkward." Positive: "I am learning and growing in social interactions."

Negative: "I can't handle criticism." Positive: "I can learn from feedback and use it to improve."

Negative: "I'm too lazy to accomplish anything." Positive: "I have the energy and determination to achieve my goals."

Negative: "I'll never be happy." Positive: "I can find joy and contentment in the little things."

Negative: "I'm a failure as a parent/friend/partner." Positive: "I care and do my best to support those around me."

Negative: "I'm too old/young to do that." Positive: "Age doesn't define my ability to pursue my passions."

Negative: "I don't deserve good things." Positive: "I am worthy of happiness, success, and positive experiences."

Negative: "I'm a failure because I haven't achieved enough." Positive: "I'm on my own path of growth and accomplishments."

Negative: "I can't handle stress." Positive: "I am resilient and can manage stress with effective strategies."

Negative: "I'll never be as talented as others." Positive: "I have unique talents that make me special."

Negative: "I'm so clumsy." Positive: "I am improving my coordination and skills."

Negative: "I'm too shy to make friends." Positive: "I have qualities that others appreciate and I can connect with people."

Negative: "I'm not good at anything." Positive: "I have strengths and abilities that I can develop."

Negative: "I'm a burden on my family." Positive: "My family supports me and we help each other."

Negative: "I'll probably fail, so why bother trying?" Positive: "I have the courage to take on challenges and learn from them."

Negative: "I can't trust anyone; people always let me down." Positive: "I can build meaningful and trustworthy relationships."

Negative: "I'll never find love." Positive: "I am deserving of love and can create meaningful connections."

Negative: "I'm not creative at all." Positive: "I can express my creativity in different ways."

Negative: "I'll never be able to speak in public." Positive: "I can develop my public speaking skills with practice."

Negative: "I don't deserve success." Positive: "I am capable of achieving success through hard work."

Negative: "I'm so disorganized." Positive: "I can improve my organization skills with time."

Negative: "I'll never be happy with my body." Positive: "I can make healthy choices and appreciate my body."

[legiblyloathed]

Ain’t He Darling? (Chapter 1)

Yandere! Wally Darling x Reader

A/N: Okay, so the little blue haired menace has been rotting my brain for the past week, sue me. I tried to get him out of my brain by rewatching Gravity Falls, only for the episode “The Hand that Rocks the Mabel” to inspire a whole fanfic. Straight up water on a grease fire. Anyway, enjoy.

Next

I always forget how much of a hassle moving is until it’s time to actually do it. Weeks spent selling and giving away half of my belongings, trying to shove the rest of them into boxes, then taking all of them into a new location only to have to figure out where all of them should go in the new space; it’s on the list of most mundane yet stressful life events a person has to put themselves through.

These were the feelings that hung around my being like a dark cloud for the past few weeks, but now, as I finally set my final knickknack in its chosen spot, I can feel the sun breaking through. I stand up and stretch as hard as I can, trying to wring the residual tension out of my spine. Even with my reduced number of belongings, it’s a lot of work to unpack them all, especially when working alone.

I didn’t have to do all the work myself. Within minutes of hauling stacks of boxes into my new house, I’d been approached by numerous rather colorful people, all very keen to lend a hand. As the newest neighbor in town, I was a curiosity to them, after all. I’d declined the offers, not wanting to place any burdens on the shoulders of my new potential friends. Looking back on it, that wasn’t my smartest move. Or maybe that’s just my aching muscles talking.

I’m dragged out of my tired contentment by the sound of a knock on the front door. Relaxing with a heaving sigh, I stroll over and peer out the peephole. Standing on my porch is a large, multicolored bird. My eyes dart to the plate of cookies balanced in her wings. With newfound excitement, I yank open the door and greet her with a smile.

The bird almost appears startled at this, the cookies on the plate jostling as she jumped. “Oh dear!” She shuffles the plate to her left hand, her right settling upon her chest as if to calm her heart. “You startled me for a moment!”

I give her a sheepish grin. “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Settling down, she waves her free wing dismissively. “Nothing to apologize for, I’m a bit prone to fright, is all.” As if remembering their existence, she extends the plate of cookies towards me. “I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! I do hope you like them!”

“I’m sure I will!” I pull the plate from her grasp and hold it carefully to my chest, my mouth watering at the sugary smell. “They look and smell delicious, thank you so much…” I trail off, realizing in embarrassment that I never caught her name.

She seems to sense my hesitation, and beams in reassurance. “My name’s Poppy, Poppy Partridge.” I give her my name, mentally thanking her for the help. “It’s very nice to meet you, we haven’t had any new neighbors in a long time.”

“Really?” My head tilts to the side. “Why not? This place is beautiful.”

“Oh, I can’t say myself,” she sighs. “Suppose there’s just not much to around here.”

I shrug, trying to appear lighthearted. “It’s a pity.” She nods in agreement, and the conversation begins to lull. Not wanting to leave on such a sour note, I ask, “Out of curiosity, what do you like to do around here?”

“Me?” she squawks, looking taken aback. She fidgets with her feathers, her wings wringing around each other. “I suppose I like to bake, especially when the weather’s nice enough for a picnic.” I can almost see the lightbulb turn on above her head, and she turns her much cheerier gaze to my own. “Say, the rest of us were planning on a picnic this afternoon! Care to join us? It’d be a good time to meet your new neighbors.”

A sense of anxiety washes over me. The idea of being among that many strangers with such late notice flutters around in my stomach like butterflies. Without thinking, I begin to shift back and forth on my feet. “I… I don’t know, it’s very sudden…”

The bird wilts a bit, looking down at my porch. “Oh dear, it is, isn’t it? You must still be so busy with unpacking.”

I look up at her, my anxiety curdling into regret at her disappointment. I reconsider the situation. What’s an hour or two with a handful of strangers? There’s only nine houses in this town, counting my own, I can handle it. Having made up my mind, I shake my head. “No, no, I already finished unpacking. I’ll be there.”

Poppy perks up. “You will?” I smile, hoping she can’t see the hesitation in it. “That’s wonderful news!” She flaps her wings in excitement before stopping with a gasp of realization. “I have more baking to do, than! I’d better get going,” she says, turning to leave with one last wave of her big red wing. “I’ll see you soon, neighbor!”

“See you soon!” I shout back, waving with the hand that wasn’t clutching the plate of cookies. As she goes further from my field of vision, I feel myself slump, the excitement of a new friend and a batch of treats wearing off to remind me of my exhaustion. My hand falls limp to my side and I stare at the plate in contemplation.

Nap? Or snack?

I pluck a cookie from the tray and take a bite, feeling myself melt at the incredible flavor. I scarf the rest of the sweet down before heading back inside, picking up another one as I go. Maybe just a few before I rest up.

—————————

I snap up on my couch, almost falling off of it in my sudden awakening. What time is it? A quick glance at the clock on my wall reveals it to be mid-afternoon, and I throw myself off my resting place so fast I nearly hit the floor. I scramble to the window and see a small crowd of people in the distance, the sounds of talk and laughter wafting in through the glass. I let out a sigh of relief. At least I wasn’t… that late. After a quick change and a once over in the mirror, I hurry out the door and towards the picnic.

As I approach, the jolly sounds become clearer, with voices all chattering their cares away. Colorful blankets are scattered across the clearing, each rife with sandwiches and sweets. I really hope they aren’t upset that I didn’t bring anything. As I scan my surroundings, I pick out Poppy as she talks with a caterpillar and head in her direction, relieved at the semi-familiar face.

As if on cue, my way is blocked by a short girl in a pink dress dragging along a disgruntled looking man with a bowtie. “Ooh, you must be the new neighbor!” she squeals, bouncing up and down in place, hands flapping in front of her chest. “We were so worried you weren’t gonna come! I’m Julie Joyful, and this,” she says as she grabs the arm of the man next to her, “is Frank Frankly! Say hi, Franky!”

“Uh… hello.” I pondered briefly if I looked as awkward as poor Frank did as he gave me a small wave. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” I respond. As Julie begins to babble about her excitement, my eyes move to drift over the rest of the strangers. The vast majority are split off into their own small groups, with a single exception. Sitting on a bench under a large apple tree is a man who seems to be studying me the same way I’m studying him. One of his legs is crossed over the other, supporting his elbow as he rests his chin on his hand, staring at me with an intensity that sends a small shiver down my spine. And either I’m going crazy, or his lazy smile broadens ever so slightly at that.

I’m startled out of my impromptu staring contest by Julie, who seems to have noticed that I wasn’t listening and cranes her neck to see what I’m looking at. “Oh, have you met Wally yet?”

I shake my head. “No, not yet.” It takes all the willpower in my body not to meet those eyes that I can almost feel lingering on me.

The girl grins, grabbing my wrist. “Come on, you gotta meet him! I bet you two will get along like two peas in a pod!”

She begins to force me from my spot, and I feel myself start to panic. Before she can pull me away to the creepy man, Frank reaches out and stops her in her tracks. “Say, Julie, they don’t look too keen on it. Maybe they should take it slow, meet the others on their own time?” He gestures broadly to the snacks left sitting around. “They haven’t even gotten anything to eat yet, after all.”

Julie looks surprised at the intervention, a flash of guilt going over her face. “Oh my, you’re right, Frank! I’m so sorry, neighbor, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!” At my dismissive hand wave, she changes course, instead pulling me to the piles of food. “Poppy told me she gave you some cookies, but just you wait ‘til you try her pie!” I turn to look at Frank, mouthing a ‘thank you’ at the grumpy looking man. He smiles a bit with a reassuring nod, and the three of us settle down on a blanket. For the rest of the picnic I eat while the two of them (mainly just Julie with the occasional comment from Frank) talk about all kinds of things.

I try hard to pretend I can’t feel the eyes burning into the back of my head.

—————————

The sound of a steady, rhythmic knock wakes me up the next morning. I rub the sleep from my eyes, noting with absent mind how high the sun had already risen. The three slow knocks reverberate through my house once again, and I roll out of bed and head towards the front door, not bothering to change out of my pajamas or even look through the peephole. This, as it turns out, is a bad move on my part.

I yawn as I open the door, only for it to become a strangled cough as I lock eyes with the one resident I didn’t want to see this early. The man, or Wally as Julie had called him, stood on my porch, his face as eerily relaxed as ever. His posture was straight, his clothes neat, his appearance put together; I don’t think he could be any more of a contrast to my current state if he actively worked towards it. Which, to be frank, I suspect he did.

Just like the last time I’d encountered him, the two of us looked as if we were having a staring contest. Unlike last time, however, this time he decides to break the silence. “Hi, neighbor.” His voice is soft and monotonous, each syllable dragging along in no hurry. “Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.”

Somehow, I doubt that. In an attempt to relieve the strange tension, I let out a stilted laugh. “Yeah, you did, but it’s fine. I overslept, anyway.” He hums in acknowledgement, and it takes a few long seconds for me to realize he doesn’t plan on responding. Eager to hurry along this interaction so I can dart back into my house and hide from those piercing eyes, I prompt, “Something I can help you with, Wally?”

He tilts his head. “I never told you my name.”

“Yeah, no, you uh, you didn’t. Julie told me yesterday. At the… the picnic.”

“Oh, right. You three looked like you had a good time.”

“We did! We did…”

“Hmm.” His smile stretches, looking pleased by that confirmation. “Well, I’m glad to hear you’re settling in okay. I’ve heard it can be awful hard to make new friends, but you have a way of drawing people in, huh?” Cutting me off before I can ask for elaboration, Wally continues. “Speaking of drawing, I was hoping you might join me for some painting today, down by the south woods.”

“Oh!” I blurt out, taking a moment to process the invitation. “I’m not exactly much of an artist, myself.”

He laughs, and it’s every bit as emphatic as the rest of his speech. “Oh, neighbor, that doesn’t matter. We all start somewhere, and besides, I’d like the company.”

I consider turning him down flat, but something tells me he’s a bit too persuasive for me to keep him at bay forever. With a grin so forced it hurts, I say, “Sounds like fun! I’ll be there.”

Wally’s head bobs in a slow nod, and he takes a step back from the door. “I’m glad to hear it. See you soon, neighbor.”

I return the nod and raise a hand in a brief wave. “See you soon.” His stare remains, and just as I ready myself to ask him to stop, he finally, finally, turns away and walks away, humming a quiet tune to himself.

I step inside and close the door, leaning my forehead against it as I recover from the encounter. My stomach growls, but I feel as though I’ve lost my appetite. The inexplicable dread in my heart squashes any hope of breakfast. I close my eyes, but even then I can still see his own staring back, unblinking in their ceaseless observation. With a shudder, I push myself up, trying my best to steel my nerves. It’s just a little art lesson, I chastise myself. So he’s a little spooky, it’s probably fine.

No matter how many times I repeated those three words to myself, the memory of those eyes seems to peer right through the lie.

[unclewaynemunson]

A soft knock on the door and a half-whispered "hey there" wake Eddie up from an uneasy sleep. A strip of light shines through the gap of the door, illuminating the figure of Steve standing in the doorway.

"I got some soup for you. Are you feeling any better?"

Eddie shuffles into an upright sitting position while Steve comes into the room and hands him a warm bowl filled with what's unmistakably his aunt's homemade creamed potato soup. Even with his blocked nose, Eddie can still tell that it smells exactly how he remembered it.

Before he knows it, tears start blurring his vision. It's the fucking soup that does it. The smell that brings back memories he tried so hard to leave behind when he suddenly had to leave what he once called his home more than ten years ago.

“Oh, honey,” says Steve in a voice that is so soft and caring that it makes Eddie want to cry even more. He sits down on the bed, right next to Eddie, and wraps both his arms around him, careful not to spill any of the soup. “This fucking sucks, right?”

“It does,” Eddie says quietly, and that's really all he needs to say. Steve will understand. Steve knows exactly how much Eddie was looking forward to this week, how excited he was to return to the mountains and to be reunited with his family and to show Steve all the places that hold so much meaning to him. 

For ten years he hadn't been able to visit. He had missed the mountain air like a chopped-off limb and seen his cousins grow up only through grainy polaroid pictures. And now that he's finally here, his body decided to betray him and keep him chained to his bed with the worst fucking cold he’s ever had.

It's been so long since he has been home that it almost doesn't really feel like home anymore. He never wanted to leave in the first place, but the circumstances gave him no choice. When his dad got locked up Eddie had nowhere else to go but to his Uncle Wayne, who lived states away and who he had only met twice before in his life. He had to leave everyone he cared about behind: his grandma, who would've taken him in within a heartbeat if she hadn't been too old to take care of a ten-year-old kid; his mother, who had already slipped away too deep into her addictions to keep Eddie around in good conscience; his aunt and uncle, who had too many mouths to feed with too little money and couldn't afford the additional burden of another rapidly growing teenager; and his many cousins, of course, who grew up side-by-side with him and made the move feel like he was leaving an unmissable part of his soul behind.

Granted, moving in with Wayne soon turned out to be not by far as dramatic as Eddie had prepared himself for. It turned out that Wayne was actually a better parent to Eddie than his dad ever was. But no matter how much love and care Wayne gave him over the years, it could not be enough to replace home. Nothing was.

Ten years had passed since Eddie left. Most of the cousins moved out, either to find a better life for themselves or to follow the path that Eddie's father had taken. Some of them had kept in touch with Eddie, some of them hadn't. Some of them had gained a family of their own, with spouses and nephews and nieces who Eddie never got to meet.

And now he's back, and everything keeps going differently than how he envisioned it.

He blinks away his tears and tries to eat as much as he can stomach of his aunt's soup.

“Your cousin Jay called,” Steve tells him. “He insisted on visiting tomorrow, whether you're feeling better or not. He said he can’t wait to see you.”

“That's nice,” Eddie answers flatly. “D'you know he hasn't reached out to me in years?” He sighs. “It's so weird to be back here. I thought it would be different.”

“Different how?”

“More like coming home, I guess. But all the places have changed. I barely know some of those people anymore.”

He places the unfinished bowl of soup aside. Steve pulls him closer in his arms and presses a gentle kiss on his curls.

“I've felt so angry about Hawkins for so long,” Eddie admits to him, “but now it's like I don't belong here anymore either.”

“You do belong in Hawkins, you know,” Steve tells him.

Eddie huffs.

“No, I'm serious,” Steve insists. “Has Wayne ever told you that he thinks you coming to live with him was the best thing that ever happened to him?” He doesn't wait for an answer as he continues: “And your bandmates, the Hellfire Club, all those lost sheepies you've been looking out for over the years... Maybe Hawkins didn't exactly welcome you with open arms when you just came there, but you made a home there. You did that.”

“And where are you on that list, Stevie?” Eddie asks, a teasing edge returning to his voice despite how awful he’s still feeling.

It takes Steve a few seconds to answer, but when he does, he sounds surprisingly soft and genuine, almost shy.

“Wherever you want me to be.”

“Don't worry big boy,” Eddie tells him softly, nuzzling his face into Steve's chest, where it's warm and where the sound of Steve's heartbeat forms a comforting presence. “You're the most important part of what home means. Top of the list, whether we're in Hawkins or here in the south or on the other side of the world.”

Steve hums and kisses Eddie's temple.

“I do wish this week would've been more like how you wanted it to be,” he says. “But for what it's worth, it sounded like Jay was really excited about reconnecting with you. Let's see if you can sleep off this cold, and tomorrow will be a new day, alright?”

Steve starts to pull away to leave Eddie alone in the bed again, but Eddie clenches his fists around the fabric of his polo.

“Stay with me?”

Steve chuckles softly. “Of course.”

He sits back down on the bed with his back against the wall and gently manhandles Eddie until he's lying with his head in Steve's lap. And with Steve's fingers softly stroking through his hair, Eddie quickly drifts back to sleep again.

Tomorrow will be a new day. And even if being back is bittersweet, at least Steve is with him - and the sound of Steve's heartbeat will always be home.

This one's for my dear friend dae @strawberryspence because sometimes life sucks and while nothing can actually solve it, some warm soup and a loving hug can at least make things a little bit more bearable <3

[kaiijo]

THEIR LOVE LANGUAGES — [HONKAI: STAR RAIL]

characters: dan heng, gepard, sampo, welt, march 7th, himeko content: gn! reader, spoilers for the prologue notes: i’m in the middle (?) of the belabog arc so i’m still getting a feel for the characters (and feedback is appreciated!)

dan heng ✶

quality time! dan heng is someone who really values his private time, so it’s a big deal for him to invite someone into that little bubble. whether the two of you are doing some activity together like scouring the archives or just sitting in each others’ presence, reading your books, shoulder-to-shoulder on one of the astral express couches, dan heng is just happy to be there with you

whenever you finish trailblazing on whatever new world you landed on, you and dan heng make a conscious effort to take a walk somewhere or visit a local spot together. his favorite place was on some tropical planet where the two of you stood with your feet sinking in the sand and watched the sunset

gepard landau ✶

words of affirmation! while gepard hears praise from the citizens of belabog all day and night, it’s really most meaningful to him when it comes from you. he works hard to protect the city, and his favorite reward is you telling him that he did a good job, that you’re proud of him, and (most importantly to him) that you feel a little bit safer because of his efforts

it’s not just words of affirmation for his work as captain of the silvermane guards that he likes; he craves praise for more mundane things like cooking a good dinner for the two of you, helping clean the house, hanging a painting you bought. just thank him and tell him he did a good job and he’s melted into a puddle  

sampo koski ✶

physical touch! you would assume it’s gift giving and receiving at first, but i feel that, because sampo does a lot of “trading” on a regular basis to make money, he would associate that more with business. it’s not to say you two don’t give each other little baubles and trinkets and gifts, but sampo values the simple intimacy of physical touch: holding hands, a warm hug, a kiss. there’s nothing but trust in your embrace

sampo’s not shy to initiate physical touch but definitely get a little flustered when you do it first. probably tries to make some joke that falls way too flat but makes you giggle a little nonetheless. as smooth a talker as sampo is, he’s got something of soft heart under those many, many layers of deviousness  

welt yang ✶

acts of service! welt is probably one of the busiest people out there and he’s basically in charge of three children (one responsible one and two who share a brain cell between them) as well as with many other tasks and affairs relating to trailblazing, the astral express, and everything in between so anything you do to help him de-stress is appreciated, even if it’s just brewing him his favorite tea and bringing it over while he’s doing reports

you can also definitely try to help welt with the bigger administrative tasks he has but expect pushback. he doesn’t want to burden you with his work but if you press him just a little more, he’ll back down (slightly) and let you do the least labor-intensive job

march 7th ✶

physical touch! march likes to be in-contact with you whenever you’re together (which is admittedly a lot). her favorite things to do are hold your hand or slip her arm through yours as you walk and, when you’re just lounging around the astral express, she loves cuddling with you in her room or on one of the express’s nice couches

she’s a sucker for you playing with her hair too; her back against your chest, running your hands through it, braiding it, massaging her scalp. she’s bound to get drowsy and fall asleep, no matter how much she insists she won’t when you tease her about it. (dan heng also thanks you for putting march to sleep so he can, in his words, “have a moment of peace”)

himeko ✶

acts of service! like welt, himeko has a ton of responsibility navigating the express and taking care of all the passengers on the train. she’s a tad more relaxed than welt, but himeko still is often wrapped up in some new business or in making repairs and improvements to the train where she can. she really loves when you volunteer to help her with repairs, acting as her assistant and handing her all the tools and supplies she needs

she also appreciates when you just keep her company in the navigation room (lowkey her second love language is quality time) and has a fun time rattling off fun facts about planets and constellations and everything that you pass and watching your eyes light up in wonder and admiration

[igotanidea]

Transient : JT x reader

Request: as a part of my celebration : Jason x daydream(ing).

***

“Jay?” her little sleepy voice came from behind his back and he immediately spun around to lay eyes on her figure.

She had a rough week, filled with work, long hours, massive amounts of things to do, places to be, people to talk to. No wonder that after five days of such grind she was just exhausted.  It was an introvert nightmare to be put amongst too many stimuli.

So instead of spending Friday evening on cuddling on the couch and watching movies with her boyfriend, as planned, she just simply feel asleep. And it was just so sweet to watch her like this.  

“I’m sorry….” She yawned and looked down apologetically “I know you really wanted to relax a bit, but I just…..’ she yawned again, her eyes closing since she had no power to keep her open “…I’m sorry, Jaybrid….”

“Hey. Stop it.” Jason cupped her cheek and caressed it gently “you need rest, baby. It’s normal. You’ve been working so hard, it’s only natural. My little workaholic.” He smiled and picked her up bridal style, holding her close to his chest and carrying towards the bedroom. Despite everything it was always surprising for her that he was able to lift her with no effort. And it was just so nice and comforting to drift off in his arms. Feeling like he would be the one to take care of her. To watch her and not let her get hurt. Y/N was used to being strong, she was a tough, resilient and independent woman, but knowing she had someone to share her burdens and worries with, was making her melt. A single memory of Jason was making her melt. And she knew it worked both ways, for him  as well as for her.

“Jason?” she muttered into his chest, locking hands on his neck, even during that little walk wanting him closer.

“Yes, princess?” she kissed her temple

“I love you…..”

“I love you too, baby.”

“Will you be here when I wake up? Promise me, you’ll come back to me safe…..”

“I promise. Now, sleep.” He laid her onto the bed gently, putting the covers over her body.

“You’re not gonna undress me for bed?” she chuckled

“Wouldn’t you like that, love?”

“mmmmm…..” her gentle snore had to do for an answer and Jason’s eyes started watering. All the feelings he held for her just finding the way out. Somehow she always knew how to strike that sensitive part of him, and surprisingly he was not afraid to be vulnerable with her. Having someone to care about, to pour all his love into, to care about, to talk to…. How did that happen to him? When did that happen to him?

“Sleep tight, princess. It’s all gonna be fine…..” he whispered watching as she rolled over to the other side, his heart clenching due to all the feelings stirring inside him.

And now she was awake, standing in front of him.

Due to some magic, during the night she lost her work clothes, in which he put her to sleep and was now wearing one of his old shirts. Too big for her, serving rather like a nightgown, covering only the tops of her thighs.

“Hi.” He smiled lightly, not daring to step towards her to break that peace, silence and reverie. It was unreal. Sun shone through the curtains, leaving reflections on the floor and on their faces,  the whole world just stopped for a second to let them indulge in the moment of being together  with no pressure, no expectations, no plans.

Just them.

Nothing more was needed. Jason just wanted to watch her like this forever. With messy hair and a bit blurry, yet sparkling eyes. God, those eyes that could burn right into his soul. And her smile. The lightest, almost unnoticeable yet lightening up her whole face. And it was meant just for him.  

“Hi…” she smiled back, rubbing eyes and stretching her back, goosebumps forming all over her bared legs.

“You’re…. wearing my shirt….” he stuttered

“I woke up at some point in the night and needed you. That was the closest thing to that I could get at the time. It smells like you.” her eyes sparkled, her mind still somewhere in the dream. “You’re never getting that back.” Her fingers clutched on the material and she hugged herself. “

“Don’t you want the original, now that I’m back to you?” he reached hands towards her and she dived into his arms, sighing deeply, inhaling his scent “See, princess? Told you it’s better.”

“Are you hurt? Do you need anything?” she mumbled, arms wrapping tightly around him

“You. Just that. Just let me daydream with you in my arms."

Life has a tendency to make you constantly pick up the pace, be busy, in a hurry, running around and dealing with things.

But moments are what counts the most. Seconds, when the gazes of two people who are in love met. A single brush of aligned hands. A stolen kiss. A hug.

Details that can make things better.

A single minute to let oneself daydream and get lost in the other person.

The most precious gift.

[violetszone]

Precious

Charles x fem!reader

From this request

Summary: You haven't been well liked all your life and you couldn't get used to Charles loving you so much.

WARNINGS: familly issues, little angst,fluff, sweet bf charles,not edited writing

Not everyone was born lucky in life, you were unlucky in family, but you were lucky in your boyfriend who loved you more than anyone else.But really, it was very difficult for you to even start your relationship with Charles because of the distrust your family gave you.

No matter how big you got, it didn't matter if your mother kept calling you and breaking you up, they made you feel worthless all your life.It was one of those days again, Charles was inside choosing a movie for the two of you, your mother called you, and she upset you again, but you didn't want her to ruin your day, so you tried to be nice. You went into the living room with the drinks,Charles was lying on the couch waiting for you.

When he saw you, he smiled and took the drinks from your hands.you leaned your back on his chest and started watching the movie.The movie was exactly like it was made to make you cry, it was a romantic drama.You sniffed for crying a little bit Charles looked down at you and when he saw you were crying he wrapped his arms around you which made you cry a little more.

you sniffed once again “It’s hard to get used to…” Charles grabbed your chin and made you look at him. “what is?” you couldn't look into his eyes so you stared at the shirt he was wearing “Being someone that someone cares for…” Charles kissed the top of your head and you laid your head on his chest.

"YN you know you are worthy of love and loving you is not difficult at all, caring for you is never a burden, I don't want you to even think about it" you nodded and muttered "I know Charles but I ain't got nobody you know, and these things still seem unreal to me everybody gone, everybody"

“I’m never leaving…I promise.” You smiled peacefully, you knew he loved you, you loved him too And it made you so happy to know that there is someone in this world who truly cares for you.It could seem to people that only he cared about you, but people showed their love differently, and Charles knew very well how much you loved him.

[jays-therapist]

I don't know if this a hot take or not but I really disagree with the idea that Yukio is jealous of Rin's power and physical strength? Rather, I think it's Rin's emotional strength that Yukio envies.

I have a lot to say about this lmao, so I'm just gonna put it all under the cut that way people who don't want to read this long ass analysis don't have to. Also, manga spoilers.

Blue Exorcist is a fun shonen manga because it measures strength outside of just "how hard can i punch this dude." Often, when characters talk about getting strong, they're talking about wanting to be mentally resilient; they want the ability to persevere, to be independent and face their fears/emotional turmoil on their own. Shiemi is a good example of this, I think. She constantly talks about being strong, but usually in the context of naviagting the world after living so long in isolation, and struggling to support her friends. Yes, she wants to get physically stronger, but at the core, she just genuinely wants to have a strong spirit (like a weed), and to be emotionally strong enough to help carry her friends' burdens.

Now, back to Yukio.

The biggest reoccuring theme in Yukio's jealousy is how he puts his brother on a pedestal, while constantly downplaying every good thing about himself (they both do this lol). You'll see this a lot in the examples I bring up.

There are four scenes I really want to focus on when discussing just how Yukio defines strength: his flashback in Chapter 29, his inner monologue in Chapter 37, his suicide attempt in Chapter 93, and That Time He Shot Rin in the Head in Chapter 96.

In Chapter 29, Yukio has this five-page montage of flashbacks, depicting specific moments where he felt both admiration and envy for Rin. And each of these moments highlight Rin's empathy, his care-free behavior, his kindness, his ability to inspire others, his desire to protect his little brother. Not his habit of setting things on fire.

This is important because Yukio fundamentally believes that he is not a good person. He believes he is not kind, selfless, or brave. When he, as a child, cries because he can't adopt a puppy he wanted, he's envious that Rin is just happy to see the puppy in a nice home. When his brother rushes to save him from bullies, Yukio's upset that he couldn't do it on his own, that his brother feels he is so weak he can't even take care of himself.

From Yukio's perspective, these are examples of Rin either outshining him inherently or looking down on him. No matter how strong Yukio gets, he will never not be able to feel bad for himself when the puppy is given to a different family. He will never be able to prove to his brother that he can do things on his own. He was born with this weakness and he can't seem to kill it. He can't win, and he hates it.

In Chapter 37, after defeating the Kraken, Yukio and Rin have a little heart-to-heart. Here, we see Yukio's true feelings towards Rin's claims of "surpassing him", which is that Rin already does. Yukio feels that if anyone needs to surpass anyone, it's him. He will always come up short where it counts, whenever he needs to let things go or be more empathetic. Yukio is strong of body, but weak of spirit.

So, with this in mind, when Yukio falls to his knees in Chapter 93 and says, "I was weak, and I couldn't get any stronger," he doesn't mean, "damn. wish i could've harnessed the demon power in my eyes to blow shit up." No, he's admitting defeat. He tried so hard to be strong, both physically and mentally but especially mentally, and he failed. He couldn't carry burdens like his father and brother could, like his friends could. He was cruel and cowardly. He hurt people he loved, and as long as he continues to live, he will keep hurting the people he loves.

What is strength to Yukio? It's resilience. It's taking risks. It's independence. It's Rin.

(Or at least, how Yukio sees Rin. As I've said before, he likes to put Rin on a pedestal.)

In contrast, weakness is cowering. It's waiting for someone else to solve the problem. It's hurting good people who haven't faulted you. It's Yukio.

That leads us to Chapter 96, and this---

This is kind of the crux of it all. Yukio is suffocating on his own perceived weakness and seeking to escape it. Here, Yukio is burning every bridge (the fact that this is literally taking place on a bridge is pretty ironic) that could possibly allow him to return to the Order to ensure he does what he needs to do. To be strong, he needs to be independent. To be independent, he needs to be alone. He can't let his brother solve all of his problems anymore.

So, like. Yeah. In conclusion, I think Yukio is heavily inspired by his brother's strength of character, just as much as he feels abased by it, and that's why his ideas of strength steer closer to broader concepts like bravery and self-determination rather than "let's hit the gym and summon Satan." He uses physical strength as a mask to conceal his perceived emotional weakness.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Against The Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s incredible vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Curses (Crane Wives)

Ashes, ashes, dust to dust/Tell me I am good enough/Lay my curses out to rest/

All my aching bones are trembling/And I may yet fall apart/Won't you stay with me, my darling/When the war starts in my heart?

Every word I say is kindling/But the smoke clears when you're around/Won't you stay with me, my darling/When my walls start burning down, down, down?

"The singer is falling apart but they'll still jam about it. They're trying so hard to get better, they're failing, and they need support even when recovery feels hopeless. It's a concept I haven't seen explored in a song before. Lots of songs are about someone relying on their partner for emotional support but none explore the darker side of the difficulty of carrying someone else's burdens. Also the clarinet fucks."

"One, is starts out with a jazzy clarinet. The instrumentals of the song is very dance-y. I love the destructive tone of the lyrics, the singer thinking they ruin everything and they're not worthy of love, but still begging You to stay"

"It’s asking for help when you’re at your lowest. It’s the emotion behind the words— it’s one of those songs where the singer puts weight and emphasis on certain lines. Makes the heart go ouughghhghghh. It’s the “duo who’s known each other for a long time and are driving out post-big time conflict” or “emotional climax where there’s no words, only action” scene type of song imo. Also there’s a mad clarinet solo and it’s really good"

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

Curses submitted by @dreadful-windandrain + others

[t-lostinworlds]

hello! gosh, i honestly have no idea what else to do anymore. i've been such a huge ball of anxiety these pass few days and i feel like i've got no other choice ://

so, enrollment for the next semester is this Monday (in 4 days), and idk why my school decided to do it during this time when most ppl don't get paid until the last day of the month/next month. as if that isn't enough, enrollments are also on a time limit and now that we get to decide our own schedules, it's also a race on who gets the subjects first. and if you can't pay for a percentage of the tuition fee upfront, you're going to get delisted so you have to pick your subjects again. the later you enroll, the fewer timeslots. so i could end up having a 6-9pm which isn't safe for me in this city especially when i commute alone. even worse, our tuition for this semester is much higher for some reason and we weren't warned about it.

i can't ask for financial aid from my school yet bc it's required to have at least finished 1 year before you're able to. i'm still trying to look for student/personal loan options bc most i've seen so far require a monthly that i just can't afford rn and it only covers 1 term instead of a whole year so it's not really that sustainable :(( (i don't live in the US btw so it's not a "start paying when you graduate" thing. taking out a loan means i still need to pay monthly while in school on top of other expenses, which as you can imagine, feels more like a burden than it is helpful.) i've also tried looking for scholarships but most only support stem/business courses bc this country isn't nice to artists so that sucks.

i honestly have very little money saved and with the sudden increase in tuition, it's hard to cover half of it even with my parents' help. and again, nobody is getting paid until next month so money is already tight as is with it being the end of th month.

so long story short, i need some help. the first installment for the fee (converted from my currency) is about $600. BUT. NO PRESSURE. i'm only asking those who have extra to spare. and any and all amounts are welcome. it's already going to be such a huge help. hell, even just a simple reblog to boost this already helps a ton.

but also, my commissions are open! so if u want to have a lil story in exchange for just a tiny bit of help, that'd be great too <3

here's my kofi and my pypl

again, no pressure! even a smallest amount already helps a lot. and also, pls do reblog to boost. i really appreciate you! i hope you're having a wonderful day <3 don't forget to take care of yourself too. sending you wonderful people love always ❤️

tagging some mutuals under the cut for a boost bc sometimes this doesn't show up in the tags anymore (but also you don't have too!! you can ignore this if u want alskalks)

@selfcarecap @hollandsmoose @shellshocklove @tanaka-drew @agaritas @userholland @thecodyexpress @annab-nana @hollandweather @annathesillyfriend @cumholland @jasntodds @quethekillerqueen @worldoftom (ily guys, i hope you're all safe and well ❤️)