#it's still fucking ableist!!!!

[anti-ao3]

society: why are so many young ppl developing eating disorders and other mental illnesses???

also society: you will only be truly happy if you lose weight/if you're skinny! that's self-care! 😘

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[yellowocaballero]

Omg hi Ms. Yellow Caballero big fan of your work <3 For real though, I'm really excited that your sharing the Weekenders, it was a joy to read and I'm bongocat-ing now that others also get the privilege to read it as well.

Referencing your tags, would you please elaborate of ableism in fandom and, like you said, how fandom treats characters with unpalatable disabilities?

Hi Ms. Bud Lite I'm a big fan of you <3

TL;DR A fear of writing characters of highly marginalized identities shields you from criticism and discomfort, but it's actively stigmatizing to people of these identities and as a writer you really need to get over yourself and write The Icky People.

I guess I'll come out swinging on this one and say that fandom doesn't like severe mental illness. (As a note, when I say severe mental illness (SMI) I mean illnesses such as psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, personality disorders, etc)

Obviously, nobody likes people w/SMI. It's just insanely egregious in fandom to me, since fanfic writers absolutely love writing characters or HC characters with depression, anxiety, or a specific variety of PTSD That Isn't Scary. People actively reject any character HCs for a SMI. When people write a character with SMI, they nicely downplay it, ignore it, substitute it for a disorder they like better, or rewrite it. It's completely untolerated, in both headcanons and in fanfiction, and every time I bring it up I always get the most interesting reasons why somebody couldn't possibly acknowledge a character's SMI in their writing. I've heard all of these:

"I don't know enough about the disorder to write it accurately." Do research.

"I'm not X, so I can't really depict it." You probably aren't a cis white man, but you depict those guys just fine.

"It feels insulting to the character." There is no shame in having a SMI.

"I can't understand what it's like, so it's better to be cautious and avoid giving characters stigmatized identities." There are LOTS of experiences that you'll never understand because you've never had them - you just don't want to write anything you're uncomfortable with. People with SMI make you uncomfortable, and you don't want to write anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or think of a comfort character in an uncomfortable way. SMIs are marginalized differently than solely depression/anxiety/The Nice PTSD, and by refusing to write them you're actively contributing to the stigma.

I think (?) I've spoken in the past about how I believe that the rigorous external and internal policing of writing people of marginalized identities is actively harmful towards efforts to increase diversity of experience and background in fiction. A lot of fanfiction writers are just terrified to write people who they can't directly relate with, because they're worried 'they'll get it wrong' and be Big Cancelled. I think this is negative enough when it prevents people from going outside of their comfort zone, but on a macro level I think this results in people refusing to write characters of marginalized identities as all. It's an insidious thought process, and it's reflected in people's unwillingness to diversity their writing or acknowledge canon diversity.

'Well, I don't understand what it's like to be Black, so I don't want to write Black people'. 'I want to project on this character, so I only want to write them with mental illnesses and identities I have'. 'If I write a marginalized character incorrectly people will yell at me, so I won't write a marginalized character who's marginalized differently than me at all'. Can you imagine writing a lesbian character with a boyfriend because 'you feel uncomfortable writing lesbian experiences'? It's blatantly homophobic. But people do that with disability and race/ethnicity ALL THE TIME.

People with SMI notice that you feel uncomfortable with them. It's obvious. They notice when a character has a SMI + anxiety, and you only write their anxiety. They notice when a character displays symptoms of a SMI in canon, but you write it out. And POC notice when the characters of color are written out. I know we all like to project on the blorbos and relate to them, and in the joys of your own head do whatever, but as a writer if you only stick to identities you're comfortable with you are actively being a worse writer. Which to me is the REAL sin lmfao.

[murdockmeta]

thinking about moon knight having marc call steven the best superpower he's ever had during a really emotional moment and how that show handled DID better than just about any piece of media I've ever seen and. I'm sobbing actually. they equated his neurodivergence with being the greatest part of him after marc had spent so long trying to hide his DID out of shame. and maybe that sounds like bordering on glorification but it really wasn't. because they made it so obvious that what marc meant was that steven kept him ALIVE and that's the most he could ever ask for and anyway. whatever whatever it's fine

[thelegendofmik]

Stop Defending Ableists Challenge (Level: Impossible)

So the other day I made a post listing all the ableist things Jacob Richmond has included in Legoland and Ride the Cyclone.

And the response was abysmal - the amount of "well actually..." kind of responses I got was disgusting and I took down the post because I find it counterproductive to argue with teenagers on the internet. However, I stand by the belief that if you think you are old enough to post publicly on the internet, you are old enough to be held accountable for what you post.

But I think what I had to say was quite important, so I am going to reword it here.

TW here for the discussion of ableism and ableist slurs (they are all censored)

There is ZERO (0) justification for the use of THREE (3) ableist slurs across both works. I don't fucking care if it was the 2000's. The ADA predates both shows and disability activism had existed for decades before that (as yannick very kindly reminded me). So no, it was not ok for Richmond to use those slurs in his works, regardless of the time period. Because there is nothing "correct" (politically, or otherwise) about ableism.

And before you say "Oh, but it was the character who said it, not the writer..."

CHARACTERS ARE NOT SENTIENT BEINGS! They are not created in a vacuum. Their thoughts and actions are often a reflection of the author's own beliefs and morals.

It was not Ocean who decided to use the word cr*pple. It was Jacob Richmond who decided to use it. Same with the r word and sp*z in Legoland. It wasn't Penny and Ezra who decided to use those words, it was Jacob Richmond. Because each character's actions are dictated by the decisions that the author makes for that character. And in this case, the author decided to be an ableist asshole.

Yes, characters can be assholes. They can be complex and nuanced beings. But there are better ways to portray such experiences than being violently ableist (i.e.: without using slurs). And why does the ableist character get complexity and nuance, but the disabled character is simply the sad, disabled kid, with not much else in his personality until he magically becomes abled bodied. Like we deserve nuance and complexity as well, people!

In a 2022 interview with Curtain Call Bway (here), when asked who his favourite character to write was, Richmond responds with the following:

Ocean is definitely my favorite character to write because it’s based on certain people I’ve met and certain aspects of myself too.

Like he literally admits it himself, that his decisions when writing an ableist character were based off aspects of his own personality.

The reality is, disability has never been more than a comedic plot point to Richmond. He has never cared about portraying a realistic disabled experience. He has never cared about disabled people.

And the cherry on top is that his response to yannick-robin being hate-crimed was to rewrite Ricky so that he could be played by an abled and therefore production teams wouldn't have to give a shit about ensuring their spaces are safe and accessible for disabled performers. If he actually cared about disabled people and properly representing our experiences, he would have worked with a disability consultant and fixed the issues within the show. Instead, he doubles down and causes even more harm.

To add insult to injury, he then licensed that script to Sarah Rasmussen and her team of ableist cronies for the DC production. Because him choosing to continue working with Rasmussen and her team just shows that he shares the same ableist values as the McCarter/Arena team.

So by saying that "its the character, not the author", you are defending Richmond and his violent ableism. You are attempting to justify the harm he has done and CONTINUES TO DO to disabled people. YOU. ARE. A. PART. OF. THE. PROBLEM.

Ride the Cyclone and Legoland (in ALL its forms and versions) contains so much ableist violence. This violence has traumatised REAL PEOPLE, but yannick, myself, and other people speaking out are the ones ruining the vibe by calling it out? Be fucking for real people.

Now if only my university papers were this thorough...

[listenheresweaty]

more on the Shubble situation

Tw: ableism, terrible writing I didn’t have time to proofread sorry :((

I want to be clear: I will never ever ever EVER support Cc!Wilbur. What he did was abuse, plain and simple. If any of this stuff on Shubble is true, my stance on him won’t change. Abuse is abuse.

So, apparently some people are saying that Shubble has made ableist remarks or something? Does anyone have any sources?

I have noticed a very ableist approach to the Shubble situation in general. People saying stuff like “of course Wilbur would always pick the psychotic characters to roleplay 😝” or “he’s so narcissistic omgg” are EVERYWHERE on twitter/youtube and surprisingly common on tumblr. I don’t think I have to explain how relating people with psychosis or NPD with abuse is ableist. However, as far as I know, this behavior has been from FANS, not from Shubble. It would be cool if she addressed this (since they’ve already told people to stop sending death threats/harassing others), but I understand if she’d want to take her time after… everything.

If SHE has been throwing around terms such as “psychotic” or “narcissistic” in a derogatory manner.. please let me know. I’m currently looking for sources.

****I know that some people were offput by how she criticized Wilbur for “living in filth” and having an “ant infestation” in her original VOD. And yes, shaming someone who likely struggles with mental illness for subpar living conditions is ableist, regardless of who they are—- HOWEVER,,,,,,,, I do not think Shubble was pointing this out to criticize the living conditions, but rather to give her audiences hints as to who her abuser was. Remember, Wilbur was known to have had ant infestations in the past. So I do not consider this sufficient evidence of ableism.

I want to be clear: I will never ever ever EVER support Cc!Wilbur. What he did was abuse, plain and simple. If any of this stuff on Shubble is true, my stance on him won’t change. Abuse is abuse.

[snzluv3r]

i actually feel so incredibly uncomfortable and isolated in this space right now and i know that’s silly because of how many people there are just like me who share the same feelings but idk…the fact that people even think this is defensible behavior is making me feel sick

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

idk if this is even a hot take anymore but ghostbur's post death lore was pointless ableist misery porn portraying the suffering of a mentally disabled man solely to get a reaction from the audience and one that reduced him to a sad child who could be forever satisfied with one singular thing despite being isolated cold and in constant agony when ghostbur is a grown ass man with goals and aspirations and one who’s not just a prop who’s happiness depends on other people solely and who’s so dehumanised his pain is written as irrelevant. it’s just ableism towards intellectually disabled people for the sake of cheap emotions that reduces his humanity down to friend the sheep and doesn’t give a shit about his suffering otherwise.

[uncanny-tranny]

Yes, all disabilities are going to present differently and look different and may even have vastly different needs, but at the end of the day, if you're disabled, you're likely going to have more in common with a differently disabled person than you will an abled person. The sooner you recognize how similar you are to other people (and seek out similarity/solidarity), the sooner you realize that your needs will never be fulfilled without each other. Divided, you are an easy target. Alienated, you are at risk.

[werewolf-transgenderism]

tumblr user miles blackbeardskneebrace is taking the knee brace speculation away from y’all until you learn the basics of how actual real life disabled people use those kinds of mobility aids and quit being ableist about it, oh my god

[beelzebubsbois]

I just need to say this because it's been on my mind. We still believe a LOT of what we have said in the past. But what we don't believe in is seeking out and bullying people because of shit that they believe.

I believe that a LOT of Endos are shitty people. I believe that MOST humans in general are shitty people because FUCK people are horrible and it's basically ingrained in us as a species, selfishness, self centered ideologies, blah blah blah I could write a whole essay on how much we hate people as a species but that's for a different post (different account tbh lol)

But not all Endos are just straight-up delusional. I see the flaw in saying that, and how it can be harmful to people with actual delusions (I mean not really, but people are gonna keep calling me "sanist" [which is a WILD term lmao] either way) sure, some endos may be delusional, but many may just be groomed into thinking that way or just are generally misinformed.

Think whatever you want of us, but we needed to put this out here. We're not apologizing, because really we did nothing wrong, just voiced our opinion in a way that was... harmful in some people's eyes.

And let this be known because fuck this is getting on my last nerve, we are not, in any way, shape, or form, a supporter/friend/follower of AspenFrost. Fuck her and her attention seeking misinformation spreading. We could not give LESS of a fuck about her opinions and the content she is making now. She used to show opinions that we thought could be relatable and thought she would continue to be a streamer or content creator that we enjoyed, but no, she's a hypocritical bitch that we are disgusted to have ever supported. Fuck her and all of her system.

[swiftfootedachilles]

im just gonna be honest gang obviously its gonna be easy for you to say youre in love with a character and theyre an angel when anytime they do something you don't like you brush it off as out of character

[soullessjack]

anyone who’s ever said that liking jack is “basically pedophilia” because he’s “mentally a child” owes the autistic community every single coin in their bank account and a free kick in the teeth. what the actual fuck is wrong with you guys 👍👍

[butchdykekondraki]

the dsaf fandom has noooo fuckin literary comprehension but in a supremely fucked up way. like theyre good at character analysis until they get to dave and then it takes a stark turn into Ableism Central

[give-grian-rights]

fuck switching blogs this is my main blog now. i was today year's old when i learned warrior cats deadass used "cripple" as a slur.

Sight, The Power of Three, page 204.

tell me this screenshot has been circulated before, please tell me. because holy fucking shit. i need a reboot of warrior cats, with a new fucking team, that can understand that grooming, domestic abuse, verbal abuse, and ableisim are BAD things, actually. because WHAT KIND OF FUCKING CHILDREN'S BOOK IS THIS

this is just un-fucking-acceptable. im disabled and im eighteen, and already upset and pissed off. im barely able to make it through these books, because of this treatment in Power of Three. What kind of messages were being taught to the children, middle school and younger, reading this?

What about disabled CHILDREN reading in real time, seeing and being inspired by Brightheart, to have EVERYCAT including her BROTHERS undermine and disrespect her???

[engagemythrusters]

Once again, I am begging people to start questioning the actions of Star Wars writers and executives.

Why is the “greedy, resource hogger” character a fat, disabled man?

Why is the Black man the “violent terrorist whose impacts are useless except to harm others?”

Why are the main characters whitewashed?

Why is the autistic man killed after his disability was finally acknowledged?

Why does the woman die of no reason other than apparent sadness?

Why?