Tumgik
#it's the hesitancy and nervousness on both their faces after that violent parting
crushpunky · 1 day
Text
rafe x kook!reader - a drunken night (a cabin in the woods part 2)
inspired by "when we are together" by the 1975
Y/n had lined up countless activities for her and the boys throughout the week, everything from fishing to horseback riding and kayaking, all building up to the big hike on their final day. After a week of non-stop action, the boys were more than happy to find out y/n had factored in a “rest” day ahead of their hike.
The four of them had spent the day on the property, basking in the sun, playing cards, and shooting the shit. The heat of the day gave way to a chilly night, leading to them starting a fire near the small pond that sat on the property. Though she had brought her own jacket, y/n found herself reaching for Rafe’s sweatshirt once again as they sat around the fire. It was comfortable and warm, she had told herself. No other reasons, of course…
“That’s literally not true! There is no way in hell that you’ve done that!” Y/n laughed, taking a sip of the drink Topper had concocted from Kelce’s aunt and uncle’s liquor cabinet. Whatever it was, it was strong, and as the night grew on, she could really start to feel its effects.
“You’d be surprised, I’m a very adventurous guy.” Kelce said with a shrug. He had just finished recounting a story of how he had once snuck himself and a girl into the country club after hours, the two of them getting drunk in the bar before falling asleep on the golf course.
“Oh, please, Kelc. You don’t do shit.” Rafe said with a slightly drunken chuckle. As hesitant as she was to see him drinking, y/n figured it being only the four of them, and that he wasn’t doing anything worse, she’d let it slide. It had been a minute since she had seen him drunk like this, typically seeing him only when he was violently high or totally blacked out. It was a nice medium, his cheeks flushed and his demeanor a bit softer and without a trace of its usual grumpiness.
“I forgot we’re chatting with Mr. Adventurous over here.” Topper said, finishing the last of his drink before grabbing the pitcher that sat on the ground next to them. Rafe rolled his eyes, tossing an empty can at him. Topper looked back at him wide eyed and jumped to his feet, nearly stumbling into the fire.
“Hey! Hey!” Y/n shouted before the two started to drunkenly wrestle in the campfire, pulling Topper back into his seat.
“How about we settle this with a game of never have I ever?” Kelce said over the rim of his cup. Rafe and Topper groaned, but y/n grinned at Kelce’s avoidance of escalating the situation further.
“I’m not playing that shit.” Rafe said shortly, grabbing his beer and starting to get out of his seat. Y/n stopped him, grabbing onto the sleeve of his jacket. He turned to look at her for a moment, his eyes glassy from the drinks.
“Pleeeaaase.” Y/n sang playfully, tugging at his sleeve. Rafe paused for a moment, looking at her pleading, drunk expression, before relenting and sinking back into his chair with a huff.
“Why don’t you go first, Mr Adventurous.” Topper said, sitting up straight in his chair. Rafe scowled.
“Fine. Never have I ever kissed Sarah.” Rafe smirked wickedly, his eyes locked on Topper as he took a drink. What he wasn’t expecting, however, was for Kelce and y/n to do the same.
“Woah, woah, what the fuck?!” Rafe’s smirk evaporated, looking around at his three supposed “friends” exasperatedly.
“Yeah, what the fuck?!” Topper said, his face almost as equally angry as Rafe as he shot daggers at Kelce.
“It was a long time ago, dude. Like, middle school. Calm the fuck down.” Kelce laughed, his hands raised in surrender. Y/n giggled before she looked over at Rafe, who was staring at her, his hand gripping the arm of her camp chair.
“Are you serious?” Rafe said, his voice low and eyebrows raised.
“Oh come on! It was a dare at a party, or something, and we were both drunk… friends kiss all the time. It’s no big deal.” Y/n laughed nervously. She knew that Rafe and Sarah’s relationship was difficult, and as hard as it could be at times, she really did consider them both friends. She hadn’t thought of telling Rafe about it because it didn’t really matter. She did like a Cameron in that way, but it certainly wasn’t Sarah.
Rafe’s mind raced despite the alcohol clouding his brain. Was that how she had thought about their kiss at Midsummers? Just two friends kissing, “no big deal”? Of course that was how she thought of it, they were just friends. Obviously. Nothing more, nothing less…
“No they don’t!” Topper said loudly, nearly spilling his drink as he waved his hands around wildly.
“Yes they do! You’re telling me you guys have never kissed each other?” Y/n said which caused all the boys to collapse into fits of exaggerated gagging and shouting. Y/n rolled her eyes, taking another sip of her drink.
“Ok, ok! Next!” Y/n shouted over their dramatics, attempting to get back to the game. She looked over at Rafe, his eyes still stuck on her. Maybe she was overthinking it, but she swore she could see a twinge of something in his face before he looked away from her.
“Alright, fine,” Topper said, his voice slightly slurred, “never have I ever… gotten into a car accident.”
Rafe and Kelce took a drink silently, both of them glaring at Topper. Funnily enough, the “crashes” they were drinking for were actually one and the same. Shortly after getting his license, Kelce had rear-ended Rafe as he was stopped at a stoplight in downtown. Rafe had been pretty pissed at him for a month before Topper and y/n eventually forced the two of them to reconcile. Y/n laughed at the memory, perhaps a bit too much because of the alcohol buzzing through her body.
“Nice, Top.” Rafe said gruffly, taking a sip of beer.
“Ok,” Kelce said, “never have I ever… gotten so drunk I fell off the Druthers. Multiple times.”
“That’s cheating,” Topper said pointedly, but taking a drink nonetheless. It was almost a running gag how often he seemed to drunkenly fall off the boat when the four of them were out on the water, it often taking everyone to drag him back onto the deck.
“Alright, um…” Y/n looked around as she thought of an answer before her eyes caught on the pond, the moonlight giving it a soft glow.
“Never have I ever… gone skinny dipping.” Y/n said, looking away bashfully as the boys all quickly downed the rest of the drinks before shouting over each other.
“What?!” Kelce shouted, tossing his can into the fire.
“How can you fucking live in the Outer Banks and haven’t gone skinny dipping? That’s like, a right of passage!” Topper chuckled.
“I don’t know, I just… haven’t.” Y/n said quietly, feeling her cheeks burn slightly.
“Do you want to?” Rafe asked quietly, his drunken words betraying him before he even had a second to think. What kind of person asks that to their friend? Let alone their girl friend? She’s probably gonna slap the shit out of him and—-
“I mean… yeah, maybe one day.” Y/n responded with a shrug, the fabric of Rafe’s sweatshirt sagging under the action. She seemed nonchalant (or at least she hoped she did), answering his question matter-of-factly despite the slight fluttering it gave her in her stomach.
“Well… we do have a pond here…” Kelce said, a drunken grin on his face. Y/n glanced at Topper who raised his eyebrows before looking over at Rafe who looked at y/n, his expression unreadable. Perhaps if she wasn’t so buzzed on whatever shit Topper had made, she would’ve thought it a bit weird to go skinny dipping with her three guy friends, one of which she was head over heels in love with… but that certainly wasn’t the case as she rose from the camp chair and started sprinting towards the dock.
The alcohol in her veins spurred her forward as she shucked off her pants and Rafe’s sweatshirt, leaving them in the grass. She didn’t look back as she continued onto the dock, discarding her undergarments before she jumped into the pond. The cold water sucked the breath out of her as she came above the surface. On the edge of the dock, the boys stood hooting and hollering.
“It’s really fucking cold in here!” Y/n shouted, treading water. Topper and Kelce looked between each other for a moment before moving to take off their jackets. Y/n turned away from the dock until she heard a splash, the two boys entering the water. They resurfaced, their grins wide. Y/n looked back at the dock at Rafe who stood there alone, his clothes very much still on.
“Come on, Cameron!” Kelce shouted, beckoning Rafe into the water. Rafe shook his head with a laugh.
“Yeah, get in here Mr Adventure!” Topper egged him on, splashing some water towards the dock. Y/n looked up at him on the dock as Rafe ran a hand through his hair. He looked nervous, for some reason, almost embarrassed to join his three friends. His eyes met hers, the moonlight reflecting off the water and highlighting her dampened features beautifully. 
She bit her lip nervously. Should she say something? Encourage her friend to get in? Would Topper and Kelce think something was up if she didn’t? Would Rafe think something was up if she didn’t? It wouldn’t be any different than how Kelce and Topper were already in there, so why was she overthinking it? 
“Get in here, boy.” Y/n said quietly. Topper and Kelce hollered as Rafe took a deep breath before shrugging his jacket off. Once more, y/n turned until she felt water splash her face as Rafe jumped into the cold pond. He resurfaced, tossing his wet hair back with a grin. The four of them treaded water for a bit, laughing at the pure chaos of the situation, before the boys made their way towards the dock. Y/n remained in the water, the boys hauling themselves out of the water and onto the dock before putting their clothes back on their soaking and freezing bodies.
She tried to pull herself out but the freezing cold water mixed with the alcohol made her arms feel like jelly. She groaned, falling back into the water. Topper and Kelce had already started back towards the house, their arms slung over each other's shoulders as they stumbled drunkenly. Rafe, however, was still on the dock, pulling his t-shirt on.
“Rafe!” Y/n whispered harshly, causing him to whip his head towards her as he stepped closer to the end of the dock.
“What?” Rafe whispered back, seemingly oblivious to her situation.
“Can you— can you help me out?” Y/n whispered, feeling her cheeks heat up. She felt like an idiot, not being able to pull herself out of the water and now having to have her friend drag her naked body out. It was utterly humiliating.
“Y-yeah, of course.” He stammered, offering her his hand. She took it and pushed herself up towards the dock, Rafe pulling her all the way onto the wooden surface. She stumbled, getting her footing and looked back at Rafe, whose eyes were closed as he faced her.
“Thanks.” She said, grabbing her undergarments off of the floor and slipping them on as quickly as her drunken state could.
“You can, um, open your eyes now.” Y/n whispered and Rafe opened his eyes apprehensively. He felt his cheeks flush at the sight of y/n dressed so minimally, her teeth chattering from the cold. It’s not like it was anything he hadn’t seen before, 90% of the time the two of them were in bathing suits lounging in the sun, so why was he acting this way?
He turned back towards the grass where her clothes laid, jogging to go grab them before returning to the dock. She took them graciously and slipped them on, the fabric of Rafe’s sweatshirt sticking to her soaked skin.
“Sorry about getting your sweatshirt wet.” Y/n said quietly, looking down at the now soaking wet sweatshirt.
“It’s fine.” Rafe said shortly with a nod. The two of them stood there for a second, staring at each other silently.
“Well… how was your first skinny dipping experience?” Rafe asked.
“Good,” y/n exhaled. “Next time I’ll have to remember to, um, keep my stuff by the water.”
Rafe chuckled, scratching the back of his neck, the two of them falling back into a silence. Silences between them weren’t usually “awkward”, but something about the tension in this silence felt as close to “awkward” as ever. 
Was it the fact that she had kissed Sarah? Was he mad about that? She knew he was always so self conscious when it came to being compared to her, was he mad at her? Or was it because they had just gone skinny dipping, after which she asked him to get his sweatshirt? Did friends do that?
Did she think he was being weird when he gave her his sweatshirt to change into when she was already nearly naked? Did she think he was being awkward and weird? Did friends act like this around each other? Did friends do any of this?
“We should probably go to bed.” Y/n said quietly, finally breaking the silence and stopping each of their minds from racing any further.
“Yeah, let’s do that.” Rafe whispered, swallowing harshly before offering his arm out to y/n. She took it graciously, the two of them drunkenly stumbling down the dock, arms interlocked.
Maybe they could talk about this in the morning, the tension and awkwardness that had been growing more and more since Midsummers. Maybe, when they were less drunk and soaking wet, things would be more obvious, whatever those “things” were. However, as she went to bed that night, y/n couldn’t help but think that “things” would never be obvious or easy for them.
16 notes · View notes
redmyeyes · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
❝ I'm free. ❞
FELLOW TRAVELERS + leaving // returning - 1979/1986
214 notes · View notes
annwrites · 3 months
Text
sons & daughters. part one.
— pairing: cregan stark x fem!reader
— type: part of a series
— summary: when your queen-mother sends your twin brother, jace, to treat with cregan stark, you make a last-minute decision to accompany him north, so as to see the beautiful lands, and put distance between you and the brewing war with the greens; to have a moment of peace.
cregan, growing tired of being harried at every turn by advisors to marry the head-strong alysanne blackwood, and receiving countless marriage proposals from numerous northern lords for their daughters, desperately seeks an end to such matters.
and then he meets you.
— tw: eating
— word count: 2,241
— a/n: i planned for this to just be 1 long post, but the more i write & plot, the more i have come to realize it'll be way too long for that. so, thus, i am breaking it into parts.
title of the fic & the fic itself are both inspired by the song of the same name.
watching/listening to winterfell ambience while writing this was a mood.
Tumblr media
He is struck speechless by the sight of you. 
You stare up at the cloudy sky above, as fluffy white snowflakes drift down, landing softly in your long auburn curls, which tumble about your shoulders and down your back in waves, as well as upon your comely face, your full pink lips. You blink with long lashes, lowering your chin as you turn to greet him—your brown eyes looking tenderly into his own of blue. 
Your twin brother he had been anticipating—had prepared for the arrival of. You, however, have now taken him completely by surprise. In every way.
He gathers himself then, standing tall—back straight—as he steps forward to greet your older brother by just two minutes, Jacaerys. 
You stand silently to the side as the lord bids him welcome to Winterfell—ensuring him that he is most pleased by his presence—and that they have much to discuss in due time, once he is properly settled. 
He then turns to you, and you give him a shy smile, suddenly unsure of yourself—always a familiar feeling to you when it comes to strangers. Your septa’s lessons had done little to ever shake you of such inhibitions. 
He bows his head, his eyes never leaving you. “My Princess,” he says quietly, calmly, in an entirely Northern accent; a sound fairly unfamiliar to your ears. 
“Lord Stark,” you address him in return. “Thank you for having us.”
He studies you for a moment. “You, Princess, I had not expected, I’m afraid. I will have the servants ready chambers for you at once, to your satisfaction.”
You blanch. Had…had the raven your mother sent not stated you were to accompany Jace? It had been a bit of a last-minute decision, per you, after all...
You’d just wanted so dearly to see the wondrous beauty of the North. So much so, that you’d practically had to beg your Queen mother to allow you to fly with him here. She’d been hesitant—always overly-protective of you, her only daughter in all the world—until she had finally relented. Even if you had believed it to be reluctantly. 
You had been sure she would’ve sent a second raven informing the young lord of your accompaniment to your brother, but perhaps not. Or, perhaps, the poor creature had simply gotten lost on the way in. You hope if that is the case, that it is alright.
“Oh, I…” You grasp for words. Oh Gods, now he was going to think you uncouth—to arrive entirely unannounced, leaving his people scrambling to make preparations for your comfort during your unplanned stay. You have half-a-mind to fall to your knees and start apologizing profusely, but instead keep yourself together. 
Finally, you clasp your hands nervously under your thin cloak—you had not been prepared when it came to the biting winds of the North, especially on dragonback, in high altitude. You’d clung to Jace, shaking violently the entire way in, wishing you’d bundled up until you could barely walk, instead of only donning a dress, tights, a cloak, and boots. Stupid. 
“I apologize for my unexpected presence, My Lord. It…it had been a late decision, per me, to come along as well. I had been sure my mother—the Queen, that is—would write to you of it—” 
It was going to take some time to so much as think of her as such: the Queen. To you, she was always just mama, or, rather, now, mother—a new title you’d begun using only a year or two ago to seem more mature. She had seemed saddened at the time by it, somehow.
He shakes his head. “Do not trouble yourself, Princess. We are glad to have you, rest assured.”
He offers you his arm then, and you flush at the kind gesture, before gently taking it, walking alongside him—Jace on his left—and into the beautiful stone castle Lord Cregan calls home.
Tumblr media
The servants rush to properly ready a room befitting a Princess, even if you had tried to assure them there was no need, until Cregan had said that he would only have the best lodgings provided for his royal guests.
So, you had been given a room next to his own, which he assured you—due to the hot water that runs through the piping in the walls, which comes from the natural hot spring located under the castle—would be plenty warm. But, if you required further comfort, you had plenty of thicket blankets and fluffy pillows piled upon your large, canopied bed by the servants. 
He’d left you then—but not before giving you a brief, albeit lingering look—so you could settle in, telling you that he was right next door if you needed something—anything.
You had been grateful to the servants for unpacking your things—filling the dresser and wardrobe provided—for you were plenty weary from your long and stressful journey. In truth, all you wanted was a steaming hot bath, a change into a soft gown, a filling dinner, and then a long rest.
You slip off your boots, placing them before the roaring fire at the front of your room—which is piled high with logs—and pad over to the bedroom door, slowly opening it and glancing to your left, down the hall, hoping to spot someone to request plenty of hot water to fill your tub.
“Something you need, Princess?”
You jump, heart hammering in your chest, which you then come to gently rest your hand over before turning to the right, greeted by Lord Stark watching you, one hand hanging limply by his side, the other’s wrist resting upon the pommel of his sword. 
His lip twitches. “Forgive me, I did not mean to take you by surprise.”
You shake your head. “It’s alright. I was just looking for a servant so I might have my tub filled. I’m afraid I nearly turned into an icicle on the way here.”
He grins. “That would have been most unfortunate.”
He then glances down the hall. “Alia,” he calls to a young maid around your same age.
She turns to the both of you. 
“Please fetch plenty of hot water for our guests, so they may each bathe after their long journey.”
She nods, scurrying away.
He turns back to you. “I shall leave you to it, then. To thaw,” he states, lip twitching.
“Thank you.” You smile, going to close the door, until he speaks again. 
“Will you sup with us? Prince Jacaerys and I have much to discuss, but you will be plenty welcome to join.” He is hopeful that you will agree.
You shift from one foot to the other. In truth, the last thing you want is to squeeze yourself into a gown and have pins shoved uncomfortably into your hair while you force your eyes to stay open over your…whatever it is that they have in the North for dinner. A bowl of stew with a side of bread sounds nice.
You can’t be rude, however. Jace and you—even if they have already pledged their loyalty—need to do whatever it takes to have the full might of the Northern realm backing your mother’s claim to the throne. 
“I would like that very much.”
He nods with a smile. “I will see you in an hour, then?”
You nod in return, closing the door.
Tumblr media
You nearly drift off in the large wooden tub. The water had been steaming—an inviting sight—which had had you stepping into it near-instantly, sinking down, your muscles finally relaxing after you'd spent so long being in-flight. 
You’d washed thoroughly, scrubbing every inch of your tired body, before simply sitting and soaking, your heavy lids eventually drooping before you had shaken yourself back awake, refusing to die by drowning in a bathtub. 
You’d reluctantly stepped out then, drying yourself, then dressing on your own. You did not wish for help tonight. The less company the better with how tired you feel. 
You slip on a simple, soft blue gown, which has sheer, loose material for the arms and sways around your feet, which you then slide into a pair of slippers. You opt for simply brushing out your damp curls, leaving your hair loose and free of any extravagances for tonight.
You only wear a long silver necklace, which has a small charm of the symbol of House Targaryen hanging from it as any form of extra detail to your person this evening. You remember your septa once telling you that Northerners are a rather simple people, opting for the comforts of home and family and their beloved kingdom over lavishness.
You had admired that. 
Finally, you emerge from your room, nervously making your way downstairs, following the sound of soft music playing from the Great Hall, leading you to your host for the night—the next few, in fact.
Tumblr media
They indeed were serving stew. As well as roast chicken, hard bread, cooked vegetables, and more. 
You take your time with your dinner, listening silently as Lord Cregan and your twin talk about their newly-formed alliance; telling stories of his and your forebears. Every now and again, you smile or nod idly if one of them glances in your direction—Cregan doing it far more often than Jace, which you think quite kind of him; trying to keep you involved in the conversation, even if all you can think of is sleep.
Eventually, you feel a large foot brush against your own under the table, and it’s only then that you notice you had closed your eyes, and were currently dozing off over a bowl of fresh berries and tarts.
They slowly open, feeling heavy as anvils as you look to Lord Stark, flushing in shame at your poor manners.
He smiles softly. “You are exhausted, Princess. Please, allow me to escort you back to your chambers.”
You cover your mouth with your hand, yawning tiredly. “Forgive me, My Lord.” You stand then. “Thank you, but I will be f—”
He stands as well then, coming round to you before you can finish telling him that he should stay and keep company with your brother instead; you do not wish to interrupt. But, perhaps him leading you back is for the best when you realize that you’re not entirely sure which way your room had been now. In your fatigued state, you were liable to wander into anyone’s bedchamber tonight.
What a nightmare that would be.
You take his arm then, wrapping both of yours around his own, walking silently beside him as he leads you back upstairs. 
It’s only once you are standing before your door, which he opens for you, that you realize you had laid your head against his shoulder at some point. Gods, what he must think about your unladylike conduct tonight.
He is regretful when you lift it, however.
“Your room, Princess,” he says to you, quietly.
You blink up at him with tired eyes, your cheeks flushed, a small smile on your lips at his kindness. You always did feel far more affectionate when sleepy.
“Thank you, Lord Cregan, for your hospitality.” You pause for only a moment before stepping closer, looking up at him. 
He leans down toward you, interested in whatever is about to transpire.
“You may call me by my given name, if you like. ‘Princess’ is so formal. I hate it, actually.”
He’s taken aback by your frankness. Not off-put, however. Just pleasantly surprised. 
“Whatever you wish, My Prin—” He grins. “Pardons. Y/N.”
You nod once, smiling. “Much better.”
He likes you like this far better than the you from earlier, which had been clearly full of nerves and hesitancy—uncertainty of yourself. He wishes for you to feel comfortable here—at-home. Even if your stay will, most like, be rather curt. He wishes otherwise, for reasons he cannot yet explain.
You turn to head into your room, until he reaches out, taking your hand gently within his own.
You turn back to him, and he stills at his sudden act of forwardness. Gods, what was he thinking, touching you like that? 
You do not pull away, however.
“Yes?” You ask softly, still smiling at him.
He leans down, brushing a kiss over the back of your hand before straightening once more. “I bid you goodnight, Y/N. I will see you on the morrow.”
You flush, then squeeze his hand in return—you have half-a-mind to hug him; you would if he were one of your brothers; Lucerys always does whine whenever you give him a big kiss on the cheek before bed—before finally slipping your palm from his grasp, gently shutting your door behind you.
“Gods be good, what are you doing, man?” Cregan whispers to himself before finally stepping away from your room, heading back down to keep company with your twin for the rest of the evening in an attempt to distract himself from thoughts of tangling his fingers in long auburn curls and staring into brown eyes over candlelight. 
Meanwhile, you step out of your shoes, kicking them to the side, then slip out of your dress, leaving only your shift on as you slip beneath clean blankets that smell of pine and jasmine, quickly drifting into a dreamless sleep as the fire in your hearth softly crackles against the silent night.
2K notes · View notes
halcyone-of-the-sea · 9 months
Text
VULTURES (XVI)
Tumblr media
|| COV MASTERLIST || NEXT: CHAPTER XVII ||
Tumblr media
PAIRING: Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick x F!Reader
WORDCOUNT: 3.5k
WARNINGS: Blood, wounds, angst, guns, plot progression, etc.
*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*
Tumblr media
Laswell found you after you’d finished your most recent fit of sickness, sitting in your room fiddling over the laptop with the USB password screen mocking you. Try as you might, you’d give yourself even more of a headache than you already had just by attempting to force the answer to appear through the pixels. Your father’s journal was kept in your lap—open to the dim light of the dying sun outside. 
It had been three days since the base had gotten attacked. Three calls with Gaz, where both of you were hiding things from the other all the while the pounding in your chests grew at the unique phonics of each other's speech. Three days of nothing but dust and echoes. 
The journal's spine crinkles as you slap it shut, growling under your breath like a dog as you push back the fatigued look behind your eyes. Your mother’s injury was better—the wound wasn’t bad—and even now your thigh is aching less than it was before; healing more and more by the day. 
But, here—now. 
You first see the woman as she enters the door after two swift knocks, not waiting for an answer before walking in with a call of her last name on her serious lips. Blinking in shock, your head perks up and you pause, taken aback. Besides Alex and your mother, no one else had bothered to visit you here. 
“What are you doing?” You ask, raising a brow stiffly. A sliver of tension seeps in, but you put a modicum of trust onto Kate’s title. At least while you’re under her oversight. 
Laswell sighs, closing the door behind her. She doesn’t respond right away, and the bags under her eyes are visible enough to a point where your lips thin. Without anything more than a huff, you wordlessly motion to the other chair at your table. 
Kate glances, but it isn’t a second later that she’s resting back across from you and offering a firm, yet somehow honest, ‘Thank you.’ 
“Don’t mention it,” you mutter under your breath, attention on the laptop screen but focus elsewhere. Fingers hover the keys—motionless beyond a small twitch. At least on your part, a small awkwardness filters past your expression. “So,” you utter in a low manner, drawing the word. 
The woman nods her head your way. “Any headway with the USB?”
“Working on it,” you state slowly. “With only one try left, you can’t not be too cautious.” 
“Ideas?” Is the next question. 
“Handful,” your voice responds, your eyes over the screen and settling on Laswell’s nose as you blink. “...Anything from Gaz?”
There’s a moment where you believe that Kate might be better left as a comedian than what she is. “Handful.” 
With a half-amused snort, you grapple with the fact that she’ll tell you nothing more than what you already know. The seconds draw longer, and those eyes of hers never leave until your feet are shifting under the table slowly. It’s during that break-away that your growing conscious comes out to play like a thief in the night. You weren’t so much the woman you were when this all started, the volatile and violent beast that stalked a forgotten home, but you’d always be a sliver of that. Yet, the leash around your neck was more firm. 
You open your mouth and only hesitate for a second. 
“I should apologize.” Laswell’s eyelids lightly pull back, a flash of surprise running over her face as the whispers of her pale hair brush her forehead. She says nothing, and you trail on with unsteady feet. “What I told you in the beginning—when we first met—about your wife. It was uncalled for.” 
A start, maybe, but any other words get choked out just as quickly as you’d thought them up. Your eyes slip around the laptop screen, fingers tapping the keys in unsteady intervals in the bare understanding of your nervousness. Gaz was so much better at this—at words. If he were here he would serve a better example; he’d know everything you were trying to say but couldn’t. 
That was just how he was.
Kate stares for a second, speechless. But the older woman isn’t one to stay in a stupor for long. 
“Accepted,” she says, blinking. “I don’t hold it against you, being taken in and told what you were on such short notice. It’s a common reaction.” 
“Good.” Your tongue darts out, licking your lips. It’s all you say, of course. Kate would never gain your full trust, the trauma was too deep, but you didn’t have to destroy yourself in the process of trying to understand. People do what they feel is right, and every pair of eyes is different. 
While you lean back into your chair with a sigh, your hand moves down to thumb over your journal—one that you were sure the woman had no idea was truly your father’s, though Laswell was too smart to say she one-hundred percent didn’t. Kate, in turn, glances over your tiny little table to look at your scribbled notes on a piece of napkin, and your stack of empty coffee cups, the plain white paper left in a neat tower of three to four cylinders. There are round stains in the woodgrain of the table, and blue eyes shift back to you. 
You don’t see it, but they soften at the edges. 
“Does it help?” She asks you, tilting her head. “The coffee? I’ve read studies.”
Your body seizes up, and your eyes dart to lock with Laswell’s in a moment of genuine panic. It’s only after a very long and tense break in sound that you find it appropriate to call yourself dumb. 
Of course she knew. She knew the entire time.
Your hand sneaks down into your pocket, and you fiddle with your coin until the indent is left printed into your skin as you bore down on it. 
“It lets me concentrate,” you breathe, vision slipping away as you clear your throat, skin tingling. “Keeps me alert.” 
It was a small victory when she didn’t push it further beyond her reply of a small nod. 
“But I’m here for more than a chat,” Kate gets to business with her hands going to interlock on the desk. “There wasn’t any recoverable footage of your mother’s attack. The footage was wiped, just like with Samson’s death.”
“I’m getting really tired of this, y’know?” The anger is swift, even as your shock mixes with it. “If I hit one more dead end, I’m going to lose my mind, Laswell. One after the other, after the other—what is going on?” Your words are slow and even, tone grating. 
Kate watches you. “And there won’t be any footage of this conversation, either. I’ve asked Alex to erase it after we’re done here.”
You straighten, head snapping back. “...What the hell?”
The woman motions with a hand. “There’s too much at stake to be reckless. I’m not taking any chances.” She blinks, face growing serious again; eyes like steel. “Spitfire, the only people who you can rely on are myself and Alex. Anyone outside of that is a possible breach of security. From now on, Keller is taking you on as his charge full-time and I’m telling him to place all of his resources into your protection.”
Not all of that is new—but the one person being left out of this is telling. 
“What about my mom?” Your flesh tightens, confusion leaking inside of your chest. “Alex is her guard, Gaz is mine.”
“Kyle isn’t here anymore, and he’s not going to be coming back anytime soon,” Kate relays, leaning closer as you grimace. “Your mother is getting moved to a larger base across the state where there are more trusted eyes to watch her.”
You have to snort at that, grabbing the top of your laptop and shutting it firmly. “What? Why?” 
Blue eyes only watch you silently. 
“Laswell,” your voice grows more stern. “Why?”
“Why was there a gun in your nightstand?” 
Face heating, your lips pull into a line. “I’m not playing word games with you.” With such stubborn and headstrong women in the same room, there was never going to be an impactful conversation. “I’m angry,” you grunt. “I’m tired, and I’m not going to be carted around anymore. I want answers.”
“I don’t have the answers you need, Spitfire,” Kate eases. “But I’m not going to let you die.”
“That’s the least of my worries,” you utter under your breath. 
The blonde is the epitome of a brick wall, yet there are moments when something nearer to guilt takes you by surprise. But at the mention of Gaz afterwards, your attention is taken back from where you play with your coin to a near-embarrassing degree. 
“He was adamant on staying,” Laswell began. “Kyle. It was unlike him—he was always willing to do what he had to in order to complete the job; if he felt he needed to leave, I trusted him.” You stare without a visible emotion on your face. “I didn’t expect him to try and take back his word. The Sergeant never does that.”
Perhaps there was really something wrong with you because the heat that infects your face is something of a mystery to your senses. You don’t answer Kate as her eyes narrow on you. 
“If it’s the time for apologies, then I think I need to offer my own,” your body flinches, fingers in your pocket jerking as the lamp across the room flickers. Laswell sighs again, and you find it’s something she does often. “I’m sorry I dragged you into your father’s faults. I’m not a mother, but to think if I was and my own child was put into that position is…troubling. I didn’t get into this job to intentionally leave others traumatized. If you need to blame anyone, then you can blame me for everything that happened to you: during and after.”
Your mind at this point is immune to mostly everything—gunshots and weapons to your head; blood and gore and pain. Then why did the softer things make your heart constrict like a vice? Staring at the woman’s nose, your legs shift with a strange unease before your hand goes to rub at your arm as you mutter. 
“Okay.” Your hair nearly stands on end, but Kate moves a hand to show you she’s not done.
“Just listen, you don’t have to speak.” Shoulders shrugging, you settle back, eyes slipping to the journal as you grasp at it and tap at the cover. 
“I had you under surveillance ever since your father was killed.” The blonde moves to push her hair back and glances at the door. You hum—not surprised. “I know what you went through during the first year, and I want to tell you that—”
“I appreciate it,” you interrupt, and you stand and grab your items in one motion. Laptop and journal in hand, your lips tighten as you hold back the snappy barks you want to let loose like an animal. The sentiment was enough, you didn’t need to hear the woman talk all about it right now. There were more important things than your shortcomings. 
Coughing, you hide your mouth in your arm and blink away the weakness of your legs; spine hunching lightly as the sounds of violent hacking echo. Kate stands quickly, moving forward with a sheen of concern; you step back, swallowing down bile. 
Seconds later, you stand fully and wipe at a thick stream of fluid dripping from the side of your mouth. Looking at your hand, you find the red streak of blood less of a shock than it should have been, but nonetheless startling. You blink at it rapidly, a droplet slipping down your chin. 
“Spitfire,” Kate swiftly, face going grim. 
“No,” your word is so final it makes even yourself pause. 
Without another line written to your story, you move to the door and slip out with a soft limp, still coughing with every grated breath coming through your throat. The woman is left behind you as your legs bring you down the dark hall—items all carried precariously in one hand before the shakiness makes you hold them with both. 
You rub your mouth over the fabric of your shirt located on your shoulder, closing your eyes for a moment as your head goes light. Grunting in the back of your mouth, you taste blood before you swallow it all down, sagging into the wall as your back makes the stiff connection right when you turn the corner. 
“What the…” you lightly knock your skull back, eyelids moving as your pulse flies. Shaking your head, you stubbornly shove off and walk on, patting at your pocket trying to find your phone—you needed to call Gaz soon. 
Exiting the back of the building, the chilled night pushed in around you; your jacket giving you some protection as you extend your walk to nowhere and end up a small distance away near an outdoor metal table and chairs. There was no one else in this portion of the base anymore, besides Alex, Laswell, yourself, and your mother; it had been entirely vacated until an entire breakdown of the events prior could be processed. New soldiers were being cycled in and out on a daily basis, though they stayed far away. 
Your eyes looked upward every time you saw a new C-17 touch the skyline, dipping lower. A piece of you hoped everyone was carrying your Sergeant. 
The conversations you both had were more open by the day—perhaps being away from one another had allowed you the area to be free of possible embarrassment up-front. You shared stories more as well; in fact, it might have been your favorite part of the day when you could hear Gaz speak to you. No matter what time you called, he always answered.  
Dropping down into the chair, you cough once more, growling when you can feel the fluid slipping down the back of your throat. Your fingers flinch for a good sip of coffee, but there’s work to do, and you don’t want to go back inside right now. It was your own imagination, but there had to have been the sleek shadow of a black cat in the corner of your vision as you turned back on the laptop, moving open the journal with the same cracking spine. 
You frown, bending the thing as the noise grows before you put it on the table as well. 
Hands coming up, you rest your chin on them and glare when the password icon pops back up. Your head struggles to focus above the lack of your guard, the conversation with Laswell, and the nagging knowledge of something in the back of your mind. Something, something, something.
What were you missing—why was all of this stopping before it began? 
No footage? What was up with that? This was a damn military base; there was always surveillance going on. 
Who?
Who?
Who?
Your mother had been attacked—injured. A man had been shot under the bounds of an interrogation room seconds before spilling the truth.
“I’m missing something,” you hiss, scoffing to yourself as you grind out ragged words. “It’s something obvious; I have to know what it is. Why can’t I understand it?” 
It was like reading a story in a foreign language while knowing the base plotline. All of the elements were there, but the words were dots and dashes. 
With everything happening, college was all but forgotten—you hadn’t done any work, no projects, or even looked at your emails. Your degree was all but forgotten by now. Dust. 
“Goodbye future,” you grunt, sarcastic even now. 
Moving back from the laptop, you grab the journal again and flip through a few more pages, a chilled breeze going across the semi-open area. The answer was here—you knew that at the very least. Your father was a smart man; he’d leave you something to help you.
Hopefully.
The spine cracks again, and your eyes spark with annoyance as you flip the thing to the side. 
“Jesus,” you growl. “I know you’re old, but c’mon. Spare me the breaking bones unless you’re going to give me the password.” Out of half of an addled brain, you turn the journal and look down the open top of the threaded spine, peering between the gap of the material of the cover and the mesh of the pages. It wasn’t done with any intent or curiosity—it was a spur-of-the-moment reaction, and yet, that was what always led to some sort of revelation. 
Yet, you couldn’t have fathomed to see something stuffed down the back of that journal. Your father’s journal. The man who pleaded for your life with such fever before a bullet had caved his skull in; the man who worked and provided a life for you despite his hidden actions. 
The man you see haunting you every time you close your eyes.  
As your blood-stained lips part in utter shock, you grasp the spine and pull it back from the binds, hearing the faint pop of glue as if it were far away from your ears and not right in front of you. With something akin to shell shock in your eyes, you pull out a folded piece of paper as slowly as a newborn dear taking its first steps. 
When you slip the thing open, it’s not the picture that you first look at—it’s your father's handwriting of the ripped letter dated exactly three days before he died. Your eyes slip the torn edges, the pen script that was ingrained into your understanding of who your father was. 
It started as it always did. With you.
‘...I think I had some influence over her, and I’m a bit afraid of wondering if she actually enjoys the topic of history, or if it’s just because I do. I worry, I think, about that and her education. I want her to be happy—more than anything I want her to enjoy the future that I’ve tried to keep safe for her. 
Even if it all comes to a head, I’m afraid she’ll suffer for the things that have taken place, and that isn’t something I can forgive myself for. I tried so hard to get out of it, and I already knew none of it worked. 
But…I suppose that’s my cross, isn’t it? 
My daughter was never involved, and in that, there’s a small part of me that can say I did a good job, even if it’s as simple as that. If her future lies in History, in that museum, or in something so wild and fantastic I can’t even imagine it, I’m just proud to get to call her my own. There are worse things than saying that your child is a steel-headed girl. She’s going to do great things; be great at whatever she decides. 
I hope I get to make it to her graduation. I think that would make it all worth it.’
The exact date and year of your graduation are printed below the sentence, printed out until your tears smack the page, ink around it smearing a bit. Your broken breath is reduced to quivered inhalations, a certain kind of heartbreak in your chest that extends down your legs and up your arms; breeding in the very back of your brain until a sob is echoing over the darkened earth. But there isn’t time to cry—to address the agony spreading in your blood. 
‘With everything I’ve done, there isn’t a chance that if I die I’ll see her again. I just hope that she finds someone who can be the opposite of what I and her mother have been. Someone to make her laugh and smile. Hell, to feel giddy about. I want to see that from her—one of those smiles that I used to get when I first met my wife; innocent things.
She needs someone kind and smart. I’d approve of nothing less. But above all, they need to be loyal.’
The picture in your hands falls to the ground before you can catch it, sweaty fingers jerking as you read the last line in a flurry of emotions, not understanding the gravity of them.
‘Everything her mother isn’t.’
It shows your mother, your dad, and a male stranger in front of the mansion. All were dressed nicely, and a smile was on your mom’s face. Your father, who, for the first time you can remember since the abduction, looked…grim. The stranger as well, though his square face was devoid of any blood to be seen. 
Terrified.
Your tears smack the image sharply, quickly, free hand moving to grasp at your coin and twiddle the thing out in the light, slipping it between your fingers in practiced ease. It helps you focus when the coffee isn't able to. A reminder. A caution. 
Think.
You stare into the stranger's face, and something about the eyes of him is wrong to you; familiar in a way that makes you want to run. Your father’s hands are clenched. Your mother’s face is sharp. 
Flipping the image over, there are three names. 
Your father's.
Your mother’s.
And Samson Row’s
The moment the name registered, there was a small click from behind you. 
A chilled barrel is pressed into the back of your skull, and into the night the shot ricochets across the airwaves like an executioner's bell.
Tumblr media
TAGS:
@merkitty49, @mh073099, @littlegaypng, @babybooday, @underrated-youngster, @jupiterredolent, @idocarealot, @petrat97, @jade-jax, @roosterr, @escapefromrealitysm, @kysa32, @human-turtle, @aurora-basin, @terumisworld, @xxfeelmylovexx, @neelehksttr, @nezukos-number1fan, @20forty9, @homicidal-slvt, @emerald-valkyrie, @raissadoesthingslmao, @misfne, @hollyhopesworld, @wasteland-babe, @330bpm-whiplash, @anna-banana27, @sunnynomoar, @doggydale, @thecrispypotatochip @74478328, @blueoorchid, @das-conk-creet-baybee, @chestnutsandcurls, @vamqyr3, @lavalleon, @nebula67, @urfavsunkissedleo
305 notes · View notes
st4r-bby · 10 months
Note
hii, here's my request:
ethan and y/n are kinda into each other, but while dealing w the gf attacks and his dad pressure, ethan notices some weird things about y/n. plot is she is as sick as him (or more) like love from “you” and that female type of crazy that do all for love.
THEN she finds out he's gf and convinces him that his father is the actual guilty of ricky death (bc neglected him blah blah) and turn him against his father and then happy ever after
tnx for the attention baby 💘
I'm not crazy .
movie : scream 6 character : ethan landry (babygirl) pairing : gf!ethan x manipulative!reader summary : they're both crazy for each other. contains : manipulating, they're both slightly toxic, toxic relationship, kind of follows the plot, gore, mentions of murder, murder, etc etccc ! a/n : Y'ALL IM WORKING LIKE A SLAVEE ! ♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞♥ Maybe it was your sultry voice, that innocent look in your eyes that drowned him in passion, your soft touch that he wanted every second of every day. Maybe it were those things that made him so obsessed with you and the bare thought of you. The things that made him believe every word coming out of your pretty little mouth. I mean, what angel like you would lie to her boyfriend? You opened the door that led you to Ethan's bedroom, a smile on your face expecting him to be there. Yet, he wasn't anywhere to be found. A pout crossed your lips as you saw his room was empty. When you stepped deeper into his room, a smell of slight iron hit you. You looked around for anything that could've cause it, any clues maybe. And you saw a drop of blood by his closet door. You immediately worried, your mind going to the worst of things. 'Did he get hurt by an intruder? please tell me I won't find his dead body in the closet.' You thought, inching closer to the doors in front of you. You slid open the wooden entrance, your eys widening at what you saw. A ghostface mask. Fresh blood dripped down the white silcone cover, another drop going onto the carpet. You gulped your spit nervously, stepping back from the sight before you heard the creak of a door behind you. You turned around quickly, your pink lips parting in surprise. "Ethan?" You uttered out, your eyes running over his face and figure. He saw the sight before you, his eyes flickering between the mask and you. "Baby--" He started, yet you cut him off. "No, no. It's.. uhm.. you won't hurt me right?" You asked quietly, your sweet tone and voice making him drunk. "No, of course not!" He pleaded, going towards you and taking your soft hands into his. "I would never hurt you, baby." Your pretty eyes gazed up at him with such sweetness, he would never lay a violent hand on you. He leaned down and placed a quick peck on your lips, a smile on his lips. "Just... why?" You asked curiously, sitting him onto the covers of the bed. You sat next to him, your mischevious angelic eyes looking into his soul. He explained his entire story to you, Richie's death, his father convincing his children to follow his path, every single detail. You had to desperately hold in the urge to smirk in his face. "Your dad.. he seriously made you do this?" You asked, a hand resting on his thigh. He hesitated before answering, an exhale escaping his lips. "He.. didn't make me. It was the right thing." He replied, your eyebrows slanting in fake worry/concern. "The right thing? Eth, he's making you kill your friends." You cooed, your hand moving up to his arm. "To think about it, if your father drove Richie to murder.. he's the reason for his death." Your words hit him where it hurted, just how you liked.
"..What?" He uttered, his eyebrows furrowed. "If your father hadn't.. treated him as he did. Richie wouldn't have killed.. and Sam wouldn't have killed him. It's not murder if you're protecting yourself, sweetheart." You explained. His breath hitched, his thoughts wandering to how.. you seemed so right. Your innocent demeanor, your pretty face, your soft voice. What type of angel lies anyways? Days, weeks passed since you told him this and it was the day of act three. The finale. The three killers were lined up, two masked and one unmasked. You and your group cowered in fear (not you really), the two sisters even crying.
Ethan unmasked himself, a sick grin across his face yet his eyes only on you. Just you. He seemed so giddy, so psychotic. Not like you were any differen anyways, maybe just not homicidal. Quinn unmasked herself shortly, raising shock between the group. The three killers spread, Quinn teasing and Ethan taunting. You split from the sisters and went your own way, bumping into Ethan. His grin turned into a smirk, his hand coming to your cheek and kissing you gently. "Hi baby." He greeted sweetly. You giggled and looked up at him, quite quickly Quinn and his father ran into the sight. "Ethan, the fuck are you doing?" Quinn exclaimed, her ginger eyebrows furrowing at the sight of them. "Kill her already." Bailey encouraged, practically enraging Ethan. "Don't. I already know your little game plan. You only need us for the kill, we don't matter to you!" Ethan retorted, pointing the tip of his knife at his dad's head. "I bet you never even cared." "You only liked Richie, but even you cut him down to insanity huh?" He continued, his words causing Quinn to glance at Bailey. "What's he talking about?" She asked. "He won't say it, he's too much of a corward! He's been using us for his own sickness this whole time." Ethan shouts, making you subtly smirk behind him. Ethan was such an easy but pretty boy to sway. ♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞:。.。♥*♡∞♥* I DID NOT HAVE THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO FINISH THIS !! part 2 (not avaliable yet ! who wants a taglist ?)
136 notes · View notes
deep-fried-egg · 1 year
Text
We can still be friends
CW: g!p, smut, blowjob, short. Very short, r gets friend zoned
Tumblr media
SMUT BELOW THE CUT
I have never been high before.  And I know that's probably a surprise when it's coming from the best friend of a girl that gets high almost every day! But I've just never thought about it.  Until today of course...
Vada and I were passing a joint  back and forth while she giggled at something I was saying. It was funny seeing her like this. Her hair was in a bun, she had on an orange sweater with some grey sweatpants. she looks so cute!
I'm glad I could finally see her relaxed like this after all the shit she endured from the shooting.  Actually, that's how we met! we hod in a bathroom stall together when there was some dumbass with a gun at our school.
we're both mostly over it now but sometimes when I hear fireworks it just triggers a trauma response in my head and I think it's happening all over again...
but that's enough about that topic... I need to be relaxing.  that's why I'm trying weed anyway! she told me it would help me relax. so here I am.  smoking weed with my best friend that I admittedly have a little crush on...
she doesn't know that though.  and she certainly doesn't have to.
"Have you ever given someone a blowjob?" Vada  asked with a sly smile while passing another puff of smoke into her mouth and then exhaling through her nose.  She looked so beautiful with her lips slightly parted...  and that stupid grin on her face.
I nearly choked on the smoke I had inhaled from the blunt.  "wha..." I sputtered while coughing violently. I hadn't expected her to ask me that!
"have you...?" I  asked her back, hoping I didn't sound as flustered as I felt.
"what? no! I am so awkward..."  she laughed at herself. "I'm surprised you haven't! you're like... the fuck princess!"
I let out a laugh too. "what does that mean?'
"You know! the fuck princess!"
"well, that's on me I guess.  never assume." Vada  just shrugged and rolled her eyes.  I couldn't stop laughing. 
"well actually I was gonna say... you wanna try it?" Vadas question made me confused... she doesn't have a dick! how could I try it?
"how? I mean neither of us have a dick right?" 
she smirked again. "you sure? because I do." I tried not to react, but I could feel the heat rising up my cheeks.  "if you don't want to don't want to push you into anything you don't want to do but-"
she cut off her own ramblings when she realized I wasn't responding anymore.  instead, I was staring at her with wide eyes.  "is that a yes?"
  she asked nervously. "because I really wouldn't mind if you said no. I know I can get kind of forward."
"yes," I replied without hesitation.
She grinned widely and pulled me closer by my shirt.  she leaned in and pressed her soft lips against mine. I returned the kiss eagerly and  wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her body tightly against mine.   She moaned quietly and  started to move her hands along my body, slowly sliding them down my torso.
I responded by grinding my hips against hers.  she pulled away  for a moment and stared at her lap.  I followed her gaze and saw her hard  cock straining against her sweatpants.
"Fuck... I'm sorry I'm just excited..."  she whispered . 
"don't be sorry..." I replied before tugging on the waistband of her sweats  and pushing them down to her thighs. My hands immediately went to the bulge that sat directly under her boxers.
I palmed it gently, stroking the skin underneath. I have no clue how to do this... I've never touched a dick before!
I pulled down vada's boxers  completely, revealing her huge cock... fuck.  how am I supposed to do this?
I  hesitated, thinking about what to do next.  but then she groaned and grabbed my shoulders, urging me to take her cock into my mouth . I did what she wanted, running my tongue along its length until I reached the tip.
Vada moaned softly, grabbing a good handful of my hair and  pulling it roughly, making me yelp loudly.  I quickly  took her cock into my mouth and  began to bob my head up and down,  slowly stroking the part I can't fit in my mouth.
I have no clue what to  do.  I want to make her cum but how do I do that?  I guess I'll just figure it out sooner or later.
a moaned again and pulled my hair even more harshly than before. I winced but continued .  after a few minutes her moans turned to gasps and whimpers of pleasure.
I felt Vada's hips buck involuntarily  against my mouth causing me to gag .  "shit" she whimpered softly. "I - " then she stopped and bit her lip lightly, closing her eyes briefly. "fuckkkkkkk" she hissed. 
I then felt Vada tense up and let out a sharp gasp before  she came undone in my mouth. I somehow swallowed everything in one try.  my throat burns and my mouth tastes gross but it's worth it.
"Is this gonna... ruin our friendship?" I  asked timidly. "Yeah... we can still be friends."
170 notes · View notes
e-dubbc11 · 1 year
Text
Songbird Pt. 4
Tumblr media
Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google
Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: Stalker behavior, swearing, little violent, guns and knives mentioned, attempted kidnapping. Mention of conceal carry
Word Count: 5.8k-ish
Summary: Part 4 of 4. After getting another letter, reader is tired of being scared and Billy is there for her, he’s angry, wants to take care of it and protect her.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
A/N: I don’t really have much to say except, I love this series but this final part gave me some problems so I hope it came out alright. And to everyone who has enjoyed this series, thank you SO much! A couple more songs from the playlist are in this part…Dear Jessie by Madonna and Songbird by Fleetwood Mac (one of my favorite songs)
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
…I’m the one who’s been watching you and protecting you, making sure you’re ok.  And now you think you don’t need me anymore because you have him!?  Well, he can’t have you.  You’re mine, he doesn’t love you like I do.  And just know if I can’t have you, nobody will.  
“Did Bob give this to you?”  You asked her.
She shook her head and through tears, she said.  “No, no…this one came in the mail.  See, he says here in the beginning that he couldn’t risk being recognized if he dropped it off again.”
You paced the room, and tried to grind out the words between gritted teeth.  “This one is definitely a threat and this asshole obviously doesn’t know what I do for a living.  Honestly baby, this is very poorly executed.”  You joked trying to make her smile.
She did crack a smile briefly but the worry returned to her face.  “Billy, if something were to happen to you, I don’t know—“
You crouched down so you were eye level with her and cupped her face.  “Y/n, nothing is gonna happen to me, ok?  This is my job and I will do whatever I have to, to keep you safe, do you understand me?”
Pulling her into an embrace, she squeezed you tightly and you felt her nod against your shoulder.  “Yes…” She said, in a frightened voice.  “I understand.  Thank you.”
The tension in her shoulders eased while you held her in your arms, her perfume invading your sense of smell, and her fingers were nervously picking at the fabric of your dress shirt. 
You really would be lost without her.  She meant everything to you.  She taught you how to actually be in a relationship, not asking for anything or taking advantage of you.  She genuinely cared about you.
You had flashbacks to the song she sang that first night you saw her perform. 
“So, tell me have you ever really, really, really, ever loved a woman?”
It played like a broken record in your head because no, you’ve never been in love…ever.  But it was different now…with her.  You finally understood what Frank meant by quality over quantity. 
You were in love with her.
When she called you about the first letter, there wasn’t any hesitation.  Still rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you rushed to be with her, so she didn’t have to be alone.  There were a lot of changes in you that even Frank noticed. 
He said you were smiling more, he knew when you were reading one of her texts because of the silly grin stretched across your face, you dropped everything if she needed you, and your apartment actually felt like a home. 
Watching her cook in her apron, seeing her book resting on the coffee table, and standing next to her while you both brush your teeth in the morning, they all brought a smile to your face and you never wanted that feeling to go away or be taken away from you.
It frightened you to feel this way but your inner voice kept saying “just tell her…say it.” 
As you held her against you, the words just fell out of your mouth.  “I love you.”
Her body stiffened in your embrace as she asked.  “What did you just say?”  She pulled away slightly and began to fidget with the buttons on your shirt, looking up at you with those beautiful eyes of hers.  She knew what you said, she just wanted to hear you say it again.
“I’ve never been in love before, y/n.  But I imagine it feels like this.  I think about you when you’re not around, I get excited on my way home from work because I know you’re here waiting for me, I love seeing your toothbrush next to mine, and the smell of your perfume on my shirts after you hug me…I could go on and on about all the reasons why I’m in love with you.”
She wiped the tear away from her cheek and smiled.  “Keep going, I don’t mind.”  She chuckled.  “I love you too, Billy.”
You drew her in close to kiss her again, her arms snaked around your neck while pressing her soft lips against yours.  She inhaled sharply as you moved to kiss her neck and she said something that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.
“BILLY!!  I know who it is!”
You
Pulling away from him, you couldn’t believe that you didn’t realize it sooner.  He said it right in that second letter. 
“…I’m the one who’s been watching you and protecting you, making sure you’re ok.  And now you think you don’t need me anymore because you have him!?”
“I do, I know who it is!”  You exclaimed.
Billy stared at you wide eyed.  “Well I’m very interested in hearing about it, baby.  Who is it?”
Your heart was racing as you said.  “It’s Nick…security at the club, it has to be.  Think about it, he didn’t like you from the start, and in that second letter he said he’s been watching me, protecting me, and because you’re around me all the time, I don’t need him anymore.”
He pondered for a minute, looking down at the floor and flicked his gaze back to you.  “That definitely makes a lot of sense.  I think you might be right, my love.”  He said.
You placed the second letter in a plastic bag and took it down to the police station so they could put it with the other one and test it for fingerprints.  They didn’t find any on either letter and said you could file a restraining order.  
Billy got in Detective Mahoney’s face and through gnashed teeth, he said “He threatened her in this letter.  Do you really think a piece of paper is gonna stop this guy?  But I forgot.  You’re the NYPD, you never get shit wrong do ya?”  Billy said sarcastically with a wicked smile.
You shouldn’t be but you were really turned on watching him.  His words came out in a low growl, staring at the detective with those intense eyes, and gently squeezing your hand as if to tell you “I’ll keep you safe.”
“Come on, Billy.  Let’s go.  You warned them, that’s all we can do…it’s in their hands now.”  You told him, glaring at the detective on the way out.
As soon as you stepped outside, Billy turned to face you.  “Tell me what’s in your purse, baby.”
You knew what he meant by that.  “You know what’s in my purse, Billy.  I have conceal carry for a reason.  But what are we gonna do?  I’m supposed to sing at the club on Friday.”  You said.
“I dunno, but we’ll figure it out.”  He said as the two of you headed for home.
Billy
“Well he’ll probably try and get you alone.”  You told her.
Her hands were folded and resting in her lap.  “But Billy, there are a lot of people there.  He wouldn’t do anything in front of everyone, would he?”  She asked.
You shrugged your shoulders.  “I dunno, I don’t know how stable he is.  He may not care if he gets caught or how many people see him at this point.”  You said.  “If he sees I’m not there, he may actually try something.”
She sat in front of you, a concerned look in her eyes but she was tougher than she seemed.  She didn’t let anyone push her around which, you had to admit, was such a turn on. 
You remembered the first time you spoke to her at the club, she was tenacious and feisty on the outside but she let her guard down and let you in. You let her in too…told her about your mother but also about the group home, Arthur, and being in combat.
The letters scared her at first, but now she was just angry.  She hated feeling like that.  Singing made her happy and she didn’t want to be scared to do it.  She wasn’t going to be intimidated by Nick anymore. 
The flowers he had sent to the apartment didn’t make it past the front desk because you told the building manager not to deliver anything to her door without permission.  There was a note attached to it and all it said was “See you Friday, we’ll be together soon.  I love you.”
She had enough.  Seeing those words written on that card made her sick to her stomach, they made your skin crawl and your blood boil.  After finally finding someone that you cared enough about to share your life with and tell her all about your past, this asshole was threatening to take her away from you. 
And you weren’t going to let that happen.
You
Billy wasn’t in the car with you when you arrived at the club on Friday.  He was in another car close behind you and thought if Nick saw you were alone, it would be the best way to catch him off guard. 
Looking around while your band set up, you didn’t see Nick anywhere so you asked the owner if he was working tonight.  She told you that he called in sick so you texted Billy.
She said he called in sick tonight so he’s not here.
A text from Billy came back quickly. 
Oh he’s here somewhere.  I know he is.  Don’t let your guard down, keep your purse with you at all times and remember what we talked about.  I love you.
A slight smile danced across your lips at the sight of those three words.  It was amazing to feel loved again after such a long time and from someone who you didn’t think was capable of love for anyone other than himself.  But you had judged Billy too quickly. 
Yes, he had a reputation of being a womanizer, using women and then moving onto the next one but he made an effort with you.  He was your friend first before anything.  A friend you could laugh with, talk to, and tell your deepest secrets to.  A friend that turned away advances from other women even when they showed up at his door unexpectedly and he didn’t lie about it.
It was one of the first nights you were staying with Billy and you heard voices as you were getting out of the shower.  You couldn’t hear exactly what they were saying, only bits and pieces but Billy’s voice was soft but stern.  “I don’t know how you got up here but you need to go….Yes, someone else is here…her name is none of your business…good luck getting info about Kandahar…I know that’s all you wanted from me anyway…yeah, I found out about that…people talk, Dinah…goodnight.”
Fresh out of the shower, you walked out of the bathroom asking who was at the door.  He easily could have lied but he didn’t. 
“It was Agent Madani.  I don’t know how she got up here, probably flashed her badge.  I’m sorry.  It won’t happen again.”  He had said, pulling you in close to his chest.
Billy Russo was so much more than he gave himself credit for and you were probably the first person to ever tell him that.  He was one of the strongest people you’ve ever met, thoughtful, sweet and funny but he never showed that vulnerability to any woman…except you. 
You looked down at those three words on your phone again. 
I love you.
You loved him too, so much and you made sure to write him back. 
I love you too.
Billy didn’t think Nick would make a scene in front of a crowd of people and he made sure he was out of sight to make it seem like he wasn’t there.  Billy did say he would place some of his Anvil employees around the club disguised as regular patrons pretending they were there to just watch the show.
“Your boyfriend isn’t here tonight, y/n?”  One of your band members asked.
Shaking your head back and forth with your lips pressed firmly together, you then replied.  “No, he had to work tonight.  It was important so he couldn’t get out of it.”  You said with a slight frown.
“Well don’t worry, you’ll still have your regular groupies to fawn all over you.”  Jimmy said, smiling at you. 
“We’ll save the new song we’ve been practicing for when he’s here, ok?”  You said.
Jimmy nodded.  “You got it, boss.”
After the first few songs, you almost forgot about Nick.  It felt great to be on stage tonight even though Billy wasn’t there to watch but you were very aware of your surroundings and kept an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. 
You didn’t want to feel scared in a place that brought you so much joy.  It was one of the places that you could feel completely at ease at, a place where you felt comfortable and the place where the man you were in love with first introduced himself to you. 
Billy was everything you had been looking for in a relationship and a few things you weren’t.  He was jealous and possessive at times but you were convinced it was because he didn’t want to lose what he had waited his whole life to finally have.  Someone who loved him for who he was.
You never would have dreamed that a man you had dubbed “The Penthouse Playboy” would now be someone you couldn’t picture your life without and it made your chest ache to think about going just one day without talking to him, seeing him, raking your fingers through his raven colored hair, or looking into his deep brown eyes. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Frank sitting at the bar alone and scanning the room while also keeping his eyes on you.  Aside from Frank, you really didn’t know which club patrons were actually patrons and which were Anvil employees.  Billy probably wanted it that way as if not to alarm you and made it easier for them to blend in with everyone else.
The last song before your break was Dear Jessie.
Baby face don't grow so fast Make a special wish that will always last Rub this magic lantern He will make your dreams come true for you Ride the rainbow to the other side Catch a falling star and then take a ride To the river that sings and the clover that Brings good luck to you, it's all true
You had asked the manager earlier if they could make the lights as dim as possible, lying to her by saying that the bright lights were too much tonight because you had a slight headache. 
She accommodated as best she could and it did make it easier to see people in the crowd, people getting up to use the restroom, going to get another drink at the bar, or just walking in and out to get some fresh air.
Pink elephants and lemonade, dear Jessie Hear the laughter running through the love parade Candy kisses and a sunny day, dear Jessie See the roses raining on the love parade
When you arrived at the club earlier, the car pulled right up to the curb and you watched as the car that had Billy riding in it, drove past you and kept going so you really didn’t have any idea where he was.  There was someone else in the crowd that you recognized, sitting a couple stools down from Frank…It was the detective that was speaking to Billy about the restraining order. 
What was he doing here?
Your heart was racing and your warm hands gripped the microphone tightly as you continued to give the audience the show you wanted to give them and one that they deserved.
On the merry-go-round of lovers and white turtle doves Leprechauns floatin' by, this is your lullaby Sugarplum fingertips kissing your honey lips Close your eyes sleepy head, is it time for your bed Never forget what I've said, hang on, you're already there
The song was almost over and you heard Billy’s voice in your head “When the song’s over and it’s time to take your break, go out to the car, you may not see him but I’m sure he’ll be watching you.”
You knew Billy was right because even though you couldn’t see Nick, there was a feeling deep down in the pit of your stomach that you couldn’t shake, that someone was watching you and not in a good way. 
Pink elephants and lemonade, dear Jessie Hear the laughter running through the love parade Candy kisses and a sunny day, dear Jessie See the roses raining on the love parade Your dreams are made inside the love parade It's a holiday inside your love parade
“Thank you, so much.  We’re gonna take a little break but we’ll be back shortly.”  You said with a nervous smile.
Walking off the stage, you unzipped the part of your bag that held your .22 and reached inside to rest your hand on it while walking outside.  Frank never let his gaze go far away from you and out of the corner of your eye, you noticed him get up from his barstool as you were walking out. 
From behind the “employees only” door, someone quickly stepped in close behind you.
“Just keep walkin’, beautiful.”  The familiar voice said.  “And take your hand out of your bag, slowly.”
Your body tensed when you felt something sharp in the middle of your back as you walked toward the town car.
“W-where am I going, Nick?”  You asked as he linked his arm up with yours and moved the blade from your back to your left side, lightly poking you in the ribs.
“Walk toward the car.  Your boyfriend’s not here, is he.  I would have seen him if he was.”  He said with a low growl.
“H-he had to work tonight.  Why are you doing this, Nick?”  You asked with a hitch in your voice.
“It’s me, I’m the one that’s watched over you to make sure no one comes near you while you’re on stage.  I protect you, not HIM.”  The knife quickly pierced through your sweater and cut you.  It wasn’t bad, just enough to break the skin…or so you thought.
“I’m sorry, Nick.  I never meant to hurt you but Billy is the man I want to be with.  I am really sorry.”  You said again.  “Please just let me go.”
He was starting to get flustered, his nostrils were flaring and he was taking deep breaths in and out, almost panting because he was so angry.
Shaking his head back and forth, he said “No…no, I love you and we’re going to be together.  Now get in the car.”
You were trying to act as normal as possible as to not scare Nick into doing something rash but you’d be lying to yourself if you weren’t terrified of what he might do to you.
Slowly, your free hand shaking, you reached for the handle and opened the door.  You were blocking Nick’s view of inside the car so he didn’t see Billy sitting on the opposite bench seat until he was already inside the car and closed the door.
“Don’t you move, asshole.”  Billy said.  His face flushed with rage, pointing his gun right at Nick’s head.  “I’ll paint the inside of this car with your brain and not lose any sleep over it, you got that?!  Nod if you understand.”
Nick nodded but still had his blade stuck slightly in your side.  You didn’t know which was more alarming, Billy’s threats or the stoic look on Nick’s face.
“Get that knife away from her now and drop it on the floor.”  His voice was sharp and he had an angry shape to his mouth, almost changing the shape of his face.  Billy was furious.
Nick removed the knife from your side, dropped it onto the car floor and you could feel a little blood trickling down and dipping below the waist of your jeans.
“Did he hurt you, sweetheart?”  The ruthless hardening sound to his voice was frightening. 
“I-I’m o-ok, Billy…I’m ok.”  You replied.
Billy moved the knife with his foot out of Nick’s reach.
“Get outta the car, baby…out on the street side.  I got him, ok?”  He said.
You nodded and opened the door carefully, making sure there weren’t any cars coming and practically fell into Frank’s arms, as he was waiting on the other side of the door for you.
“You ok, sweetheart?”  He asked.
The gash in your side hurt more than you initially thought it did and he noticed the hole in your sweater.
“You’re bleedin’ kid…come on.  It’s ok, you’re safe.” 
With your body shivering, you let Frank lead you back on to the sidewalk which is when he lifted your sweater to look at the wound in your side.  And you almost didn’t notice the detective open the car door, pointing his gun at Nick and telling him to get out of the car, slowly, with his hands where he could see them.
Frank called out for Billy as he was getting out of the car.
“Hey Bill!  She’s gotta cut that’s gonna need some stitches!”
Detective Mahoney had Nick pinned up against the car and was putting him in handcuffs when Billy bypassed you after hearing you were going to need stitches, pushed the detective out of the way, turned Nick around to face him and punched him right in the face.
Mahoney shouted.  “Russo!!!  Let me do my job, alright!!!?”  And he forced himself in between Billy and Nick.
You were still confused on why the detective was there in the first place when he didn’t take the letters seriously when you and Billy went to the station.
“Frank?  Mahoney listened to what we had to say, told me I could file a restraining order but he wasn’t going to do anything…almost like he didn’t believe me.  What changed?”  You asked, wincing at the pain in your side.
Frank chuckled a little after Billy punched Nick and said.  “Well sweetheart, Bill and I sometimes need to use our “powers of persuasion” when something like this comes up.  We weren’t taking “no” for an answer, they were smart and took us seriously the second time.”  He said with a wink.
You gave him a warm smile while Billy rushed to you.
“You ok, baby?  Lemme see…”  He said, lifting your sweater to look at the wound.
You tried to reassure him.  “It’s not bad, Billy.  I’m ok.”
Billy kissed your forehead.  “Well let’s go get this stitched, it shouldn’t take long.”
Mahoney called out as you waited for the other car to pull up.  “Uniformed officers will take your statements at the hospital!”
“Thank you for this, Frankie.”  Billy said shaking Frank’s hand.
You wrapped your arms around Frank’s torso and he kissed the top of your head.  “Thank you, Frank…you’re such a good friend to him.”
“I’d do anything for him, kid.”  He leaned in to whisper in your ear.  “Plus, I like seeing him happy.  Now go get that taken care of, yeah?”
As the car pulled away and headed for the hospital, you glanced out the window to see Nick being put inside a police car.  Billy pulled you in close, putting pressure on your stab wound and held you as tightly as he possibly could.
“I’m so glad you’re alright, sweet girl.”  He said kissing the top of your head.
You listened to his heartbeat racing inside his chest.  “Thanks to you, my handsome hero.”
He smiled against the top of your head.  “Is that my new nickname?”
“I dunno…I’ll have to think about it.”  You said with a wide smile.  “What do you think about Cobra?”
The two of you started laughing.
He pinched your chin in between his forefinger and thumb, angled your face up toward him, and softly pressed his lips to yours.
“Thank you, Billy.”  You said.
He gazed down at you, his handsome face finally at ease when he said.  “I’ll always protect you, my little songbird.”
**********
After being stitched up and the confrontation with Nick, you hadn’t been back to the club in about four weeks.  He did end up getting charged with stalking, assault with a deadly weapon, and attempted kidnapping.
Billy helped you recover in every way he could.  You went back to work right away, did every day errands, went back to your weekly routines, practicing with your band, and back to singing in the stairwell but you hadn’t done any singing in public since then.
But maybe now you were finally ready.
Billy
You hated sleeping alone.  Staring up at the ceiling in the darkness of your bedroom, you thought about how easy it had been, getting used to having her next to you every night but since she had gone back to her apartment, you didn’t have her to sleep next to EVERY night.  She did most nights but not every night. 
You missed her on these nights, hated the cold empty space next to you normally occupied by her warm body, you missed touching her soft skin in the middle of the night, hearing her gently hum in her sleep as you brushed your beard against the back of her neck and smiling against her shoulder…you missed all of it. 
On nights you had to work late, you would come home to leftover dinner in your fridge that she had made at her place and she would always make extra for you, there would always be a little note on your kitchen counter from her “Hope you had a good day, handsome.  Dinner’s in the fridge, I love you.”
But you wanted her sleeping in your bedroom on those late work nights, not hers.  You wanted to walk into your apartment and smell the food she had cooked or inhale the scent of the candle she was burning.  You missed seeing her books on the coffee table, and hearing her chuckle as she read a funny passage. 
You loved her and loved having someone to finally share your life with but dreaded the nights you had to spend without her and wondered if she felt the same way about you.
You wanted to be there for her in case she had a nightmare about Corey or Nick, telling her that it’s ok, you were there for her and she was safe.  You needed to tell her you wanted to come home to her, no matter what time it was.  You wanted to see her apron hung in the kitchen, or the mug she drank her nighttime tea out of, washed and left to dry in the dish strainer.
You wanted her to live with you.
She said she was ready to start singing at the club again and her first show was coming up on Saturday.  You thought it would be the perfect time to ask her and really hoped she would say yes.
“I want her to live with me, Frankie.”  You said to Frank with Maria sitting next to him, waiting for her show to start.  
A smirk stretched across his face when he replied.  “Well…I never thought I’d see the day, Bill.  You’re really serious, aren’t you.  Bill the Beaut…in love.”
Maria smiled and playfully slapped Frank on the shoulder.  “Oh don’t tease him, Frank.  I think it’s great and she’s wonderful, she really is Billy.  We are SO happy for you.”
Even though you knew she loved you, you were still worried she might say no.  “I just hope she says yes.”
As if right on cue, the lights went down and the spotlight appeared on the stage.  She was ready. 
You
It had been over a month since you performed last and it wasn’t exactly a happy memory so it was no wonder that your heart was beating out of your chest.  The nervous flutters in your stomach wouldn’t stop but you closed your eyes in relief when you saw Billy, Frank and Maria at their usual table after walking out on stage.
Billy had his drink resting on the table next to the single red rose he planned on giving to you at some point tonight.  He always gave you the most perfect rose every time, you wondered how much time he spent looking for the right one.  He was a perfectionist, it only made sense that he would want your rose to be perfect also.
There were more people in the crowd than you were used to seeing, then again it had been awhile since you performed last, maybe people were excited to see you back.  Under the bright lights, you settled into your spot while the audience applauded. 
The faces you could make out gazed at you with wide smiles but no one had a bigger smile on their face than Billy.  He was so happy you were back to doing what you loved to do.
“Thank you all for coming tonight.  It feels really nice to be back and to see familiar faces again.  I’ve missed being up here.  This first song I’d like to do is dedicated to someone that I didn’t even like when I met him.”
The audience chuckled a little.
“And I’ll admit that I judged him too quickly but he surprised me and now I can’t picture my life without him.  So Billy, my handsome hero, this one is for you…I hope you like it.”
Billy
Frank leaned in and whispered.  “Which song is it, Bill?”
“I don’t know…she said she had been practicing a new song that she chose for me but she never let me hear it.”  You said.
For you, there'll be no more crying For you, the sun will be shining And I feel that when I'm with you It's alright, I know it's right
To you, I'll give the world To you, I'll never be cold 'Cause I feel that when I'm with you It's alright, I know it's right
Her voice sounded even more beautiful than before, if that was even possible.  You couldn’t take your eyes off of her as she moved toward your table while the lyrics permanently etched themselves onto your heart.  The song reminded you of your relationship with her...give and take, the way it’s supposed to be. 
And the songbirds are singing, Like they know the score And I love you, I love you, I love you Like never before
She did love you like never before.  You never knew what it was like because you had been on your own from a young age, no one cared, and no one gave you a chance to be loved.  She took a chance on you though, maybe against her better judgement but you would be forever grateful that she had.
And I wish you all the love in the world But most of all, I wish it from myself
Another smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and yours as well, her eyes were glassy but it didn’t hinder her performance at all.
And the songbirds keep singing Like they know the score And I love you, I love you, I love you Like never before, like never before, Like never before
If you had to pick one song and only one song for her to sing to you for the rest of your life, it would be Songbird.  And it wasn’t just because she chose it specifically for you but because it was how you always wanted your relationship with her to be. 
You planned to give her the world because even with all of your faults, she wanted you and…she loved you.
You
You barely got out the last notes before Billy stood up, cupped your cheeks and gently pressed his lips to yours, flashing his perfect smile at you as he pulled away, and mouthed “I love you.”
“I love you too.”  You mouthed back with a smile.
It was hard to hear anything over the applause and the whistles but Billy leaned down and asked you in your ear.  “Move in with me?” 
Your expression softened.  “Are you sure, Billy?”
“Please?”  He asked.  “I really love having someone to come home to and I want that someone to be you.”
You wiped a tear that trickled down your cheek.
“How can I say no to that?”  You said with a warm smile.  “But are you really sure?”
Billy brushed a second tear away from your cheek with his thumb.
“Yes, I am very sure sweet girl.  I’ll try my best not to drive you crazy.”  He said.
You snaked your arms around his neck, pushed yourself up onto your toes, and pressed yourself flush with his chest as you leaned in to kiss him again.  Retreating back to look into his penetrating brown eyes, you smiled and said “You already drive me crazy, Mr. Russo but let’s try it under a shared roof.”
“Is that a yes?”  He asked.
“Yes, Billy.  I will move in with you.”  You said with a warm smile.  “Now let me finish my set, soldier.”  And you gently pressed your lips to his as he handed you your rose.
Billy
She held onto that rose for the rest of her show just like every other one before it.  She never put it down and song after song, you felt like she was singing only for you.  People were wandering in off the street into the club just like you had done that first night, they were drawn to her like a moth to a flame but she didn’t seem to notice. 
She only had eyes for you.
Her love for you was unexpected, it was pure, and at times you felt it was undeserving.  What had you done in your life to deserve someone like her?  You’ve been to war, been in combat and have done unspeakable things but she didn’t turn you away when you told her those stories or when you had those bad dreams.
“There’s no shame in bad dreams, Billy.”  She had told you.
And maybe you were finally starting to believe her.  She did everything to reassure you that you deserved to be loved, that what happened to you as a child wasn’t your fault, and how proud she was that you didn’t use it as an excuse but you used it to make yourself better, stronger, and successful.
She loved the man underneath the suit, helped heal your scars inside and out, and you would never be able to thank her enough for it. 
She was exactly what you needed, she was your home, and all you had ever wanted.
She was your beautiful little Songbird.
Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705
Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @simple-lovebot @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend
If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.
87 notes · View notes
midnightbabylon · 1 year
Text
Play With Fire
Part Two
Tumblr media
summary: With some help from the bad guys, you have a good chance of a fresh start. But does Kian let you down so easily, or was this all just a sick game with big aftermath?
pairing: Jax Teller x fem!reader
word count: 2.5k
warnings: violent actions, death threats
A/N: the following parts are inspired by season 2 x 13 911
Also if you wanna be part of a Taglist just leave a comment and I'll do one :)
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
The last few days have been like a trance for you. It was like you were reliving every single trauma that Kian had inflicted on you over and over again. You could hardly sleep, but at least the diner had good food. After all, you called your mom to tell her that you and Kian didn't have a bond anymore. As a mother, she did not need to know more details. It's bad enough that so many strangers had noticed. The scratch and the cracked lip were almost completely healed so you dared to go outside again in daylight.
At first you just wanted to stretch your legs a bit until you were back on the paved square of the car repair shop. “I wouldn’t have expected you back here so soon,” Gemma’s voice suddenly sounded from the left. She smiled and squeezed out the cigarette with her high heel. “I could use some help.” you went to her and she pulled you into a warm embrace. Immediately you had to smile too.
“What can I help you with, darling?” she took you into a little cabuff and gave you a warm cup of coffee. “I was hoping someone could lend me their car so I could move out of my apartment. I wanted to escape from this relationship several times and he caught me both times. Now I can make the restart I always wanted. Unfortunately, I don’t own a car.” you sighed at your coffee. “And you want to make a fresh start here in Charming?” Your eyes met and you thoughtfully tilted your head. “I can’t answer that properly. But I want to leave this apartment and everything I don’t need behind me and start over. My mom is traveling the world and my dad has been dead for a long time. I don’t have anyone to miss me there.” A pause of silence arose. “I’m sorry, honey.” Smiling, you pulled your eyebrows together. “I’m Y/N, by the way.” You reached out to her. “We are beyond these formalities,” she said, smiling at your hand. ‘Hi Y/N.’ Less than two minutes later, Jax strapped into your coffee break. “Well, look who’s here!“ he leaned casually against the door frame and smiled at you. Gemma saw your face lighten up. “Y/N could use some help. Can you drive her to her old apartment and help her clear out everything she needs? You can take the truck that fits more.” Surprised, you glanced at Gemma and Jax answered without hesitation. “Yes, of course. If I’m lucky, the bastard will cross me again.” his smile was murderous but it looked fucking sexy. Where did that thought come from?
Quickly you discarded the thought and thanked him in advance. The trip to your hometown wasn't long, but it was pleasant. Jax told you a little bit about charming and what it was like to live there and you told him about what it was like to live in yours. By now you had arrived in the right neighborhood and stood at a red light. “What are you going to do now that it’s all over?” Jax was sitting comfortably in the passenger seat looking at you from the side. “I don’t know where and how to start again, but I want to. It was long overdue.” You gave him a light smile and drove on. “Stay here, I’ll check if your apartment is really empty.” he took your keys after you told him the number. Nervously you rubbed your palms on your jeans before he came out of the house leisurely jogging after a felt eternity. “All Kian clear, let’s go.” You take the boxes out of the trunk and get to work. The apartment was furnished a few years ago when you started to rent it but Jax was really helpful with the heavy furniture pieces you bought yourself and wanted to keep while you were cleaning out the whole apartment. The pictures and things Kian had given you ended up in a big garbage bag. You didn't want anything to remind you of him. After less than 2 hours everything was done. You had already paid for the apartment every month so moving out was still the easiest on that day. When Jax was already carrying boxes down, you met your older neighbor, Mrs Jenkins. “Oh child you’re moving out? I knew this day would come.” she grabbed her heart and sighed wistfully. You liked the old lady, you'd often sit together with a hot tea and talk about God and the world. “Yes, I got a good job offer and I have to move on.” Lying to her felt wrong but so right. After a warm hug, she wished you all the best and you met Jax again on the stairs. “If I get the last 4 boxes, we’ll be through.” Smiling, you kind of felt a feeling close to freedom. “All right, I’ll take the garbage bag away from behind the house and join you again.” A strand had come loose from your ponytail when you finally arrived in the backyard. The garbage bag was really heavy and you blew the strands out of your face after you opened the bin. You armed yourself to throw in the bag, but you didn't get there. Two strong arms wrapped around your face and neck. “If you scream, I’ll end your life here and now and throw you into that barrel just as unlovingly as you want to throw away our stuff.” The goose bumps formed within seconds and you close your eyes defeated. Kian.
Filled with fear, you watched as your ex put tape over your mouth and next tied your wrists with it. Screaming for Jax was now useless. While Kian pulled you to his truck, you were still able to pull off your ring. Jax had just looked at it earlier and would know it belonged to you. Fortunately, Kian didn't hear the clink of the ring on the asphalt as he pushed you roughly into the truck. Since his windows were tinted, no one would see your silhouette. "Everything I did for you, for us." he muttered to himself. "And how do you thank me? Running to the next best thing with a tail and getting ruined. Didn't our time mean anything to you?!" he asked angrily, and by now he was on the highway out of town. You swallowed the lump in your throat. Making him angry now might get you killed, since all he'd have to do is speed into the guardrail. For a moment you closed your eyes and then looked at him again. Tears formed in your eyes and his features softened, so he carefully removed the tape so you could respond. "It was my fault and and I promise you on my grandmother's life that he didn't ruin me. Not in any way. There was always only you Kian. He didn't even touch me, please Kian..believe me." His knuckles around the steering wheel turned white and his lip trembled before he looked at you with moist eyes. "We both made mistakes okay. I'm sorry, I want to do better. I'll do better and I'll prove it to you." Outraged, you stared at him. He was vulnerable right now and believed your lie. The sick feeling in your stomach didn't let up and the farther away you got from your old city the more tense you were in your seat.
Jax hesitated as he was about to light his second cigarette. He wondered what was taking you so long. He put the lighter back in his pocket and walked to the garbage cans. No sign of you. "Y/N?!" He looked around in all directions before inspecting the trash bag in front of the open garbage can. He repeated your name, louder this time, before running to the alley. As he did so, his shoe slipped over something, causing a metallic crunch. Confused, he lifted his foot and saw the silver ring. He picked it up and looked to the end of the alley, which was connected to the main street. Cursing, he pulled the cell phone out of his pocket, tangling the knife. "Argh! Shit!" He dialed Chibb's number and walked quickly back to the car, pulling the sliding door shut before getting behind the wheel. "What's up? You guys finally on your way back?" the Scotsman asked, amused. "We have a problem." he said seriously before there was silence on the other line. "You're on speaker." "Y/N's gone. I think her ex blindsided her in the backyard. I'm getting on the highway back to Charming. Get Unser on board, we need to track this asshole down."
A few hours passed before you woke up again. However, you were immediately aware that Kian had driven across the California state line. The immediate heat of the desert would have burned your skin if he hadn't turned up the air conditioning so high. You had no idea where exactly you were, there would only be two options and that would be Nevada or Arizona. There were no signs right now, but you would keep your eyes open. "Oh you're awake. Finally..just in time for the surprise." Kian smiled at you and you gulped. "Where are we? And can you turn the air conditioning down a bit..I'm freezing." your voice was raspy and weak. Now that he'd been alone with his thoughts for a few hours, he could be the angry psychopath again. "We're in a very special place. After all, our vacation in the cabin was taken from us and now I got us a much better one." He drove off the road onto a sandy path toward huge cliffs. The vegetation increased and you saw the blue glitter of a river. He stopped behind a thick tree and drove the car into the bushes. "Get out." he unbuckled you and opened the door. Carefully you kicked the door open and climbed into the thorn-covered bush. He slammed the car doors and threw the key into the bushes. "Come." he grabbed your arm roughly and pulled you along the steep path. Down by the river, vacation bungalows lined up among cactus landscapes. "See, beautiful isn't it?" You nodded absently and stumbled after him. He dragged you to one of the most hidden bungalows and looked around before breaking a window to get in.
Frightened, you watched as he made sure no one was in the house before pulling you in. He pushed you harshly onto an armchair and taped your wrists again. Almost panicked , he closed all the curtains and searched in all the drawers for something. Tears formed in his eyes while you admired the beautiful furnishings. He found what he was looking for when he smiled and held up a rope and tied your ankles to the feet of the chair. "Be a good girl and don't make a sound will you? Or I'll tape your pretty mouth shut." he smiled at you and put a hand to your cheek before pressing his lips to yours. Disgusted, you swallowed and turned your head away as he released. "I'll cook us something nice to eat when I find something edible and then we can talk all night honey." Silently you closed your eyes before you eyed your jeans, which were partially ripped open by the thorns. How could the day have gone so wrong? He could have just been stalking you or camped outside your apartment to get to you.
"Any news yet?" Jax stepped out into the shadows and lit a cigarette before looking at Charming's chief. "APBs on the reported car are out here in California, Nevada and Arizona. In addition, I've instructed that any new reports of stolen vehicles be monitored as well. He can't get far with her." he exhaled loudly and Gemma paced back and forth nervously. "Didn't she have anything else on her that could help us at all?" Jax shook his head and played with the silver ring in his free hand. The only thing he had from you just now, besides the cart full of your stuff. Gemma exhaled loudly and took a drag on the rest of Jax's cigarette before running to the truck and eyeing the crates. "I'm going to go through this stuff and see if I can find anything that will help us." Jax nodded, stifling a comment that Y/N had probably already thrown everything away, or at least planned to before she got caught.
Kian put a glass of water and some food on the table when he finally finished. All this time he had been silent, until now. He unclasped your hands. "This is the reward for being so well behaved. They'll stay free even if you don't fight back anymore. Got it?" he smiled and you could only nod mutely. You could only get the food down since you hadn't eaten in hours. "Can I go to the bathroom?" you asked softly as he turned on the TV. "Are you behaving?" You swallowed the lump and answered with, "Yes." He also freed your feet from the chair and told you where the bathroom was. Slowly you walked down the hall and looked around. There had to be a phone around here somewhere. Hope rose in you as you spotted one on the dresser next to the bedroom door. You quietly went into the bathroom and a short time later flushed the toilet. You let the water from the sink run and left the door ajar as you crept to the phone. Carefully, almost silently, you lift the receiver. "Are you going to be done soon? The movie's about to start!" shouted Kian from the front. "Be right there." You tried to sound like it was coming from the bathroom and when you finally got the phone to your ear, however, no dial tone sounded. Confused and heart pounding, you pressed 911 on the dial pad. Nothing. Uncertainly, you pulled the phone forward and saw that the cord had been cut. "You little-!" Kian was suddenly standing in the hallway. You couldn't even put the phone down, already colliding with the glass case. "I ask you just once to behave and you betray me?! I expected more from you Y/N!" His grip painfully clutched your face and your forehead throbbed. Roughly, he pulled you back to the chair. He turned down the TV and knelt in front of you. "Y/N, listen." he exhaled loudly. "We can be happy together again. We'll start all over again. In a new place, maybe even with new names. We will face each other as new people. You will forgive me, and love me again. I know that." he clutched your hands and looked at you. Now it was your turn to exhale loudly. He made you stand up and walk across the room. "Yes, I've always found a way to forgive you." Carefully, you reached for the sculpture on the shelf, about the size of your hand, before turning to him. "Then let's give it a try. What are we waiting for?" he said hopefully, coming toward you. When he was close enough to you, you hit him over the head with the heavy sculpture. He fell to the ground and you ran out the door into nature.
42 notes · View notes
Note
avenger!reader who suffers from depression and is really hard on herself/themself and blames themself after a mission went wrong and locks themselves out, bucky is worried abt them and comforts them
Bucky Barnes x reader
Word count:3102 (wow I went off the rails a bit huh 😅)
Warnings: self-blame, mentions of death, nightmares, panic attacks, breakdown, lots of tears, this one’s really angsty, flashbacks, some fluff/comfort but so much angst
A/N: I loved this request and had a great time writing it. This one’s a lil more angsty than I usually do and deals with some heavier themes than some of my other ones, so please take care of yourself and heed the warnings. I love you guys so much!
There was nothing you could have done.
You were the first off the quinjet, anxious to get out of the unbearable silence.
You kept your head down as you walked quickly to your room, trying to make as little noise as possible, stumbling to get into your room as fast as possible, locking the door behind you as you let the tears fall.
You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stave off your breakdown as you tried to keep taking even breaths.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” you said in a small voice.
“Yes?” the AI responded.
You took a shaky breath, trying to keep your voice even. “Turn on soundproofing, please.”
“As you wish. I am picking up on signs of distress, would you like me to call Sergeant Barnes?”
You shook your head violently at the thought of anyone, especially your boyfriend seeing you like this. “No.”
“Are you sure? Would you like me to call -”
“Don’t let anyone in this room.”
“As you wish, Y/n.”
You heard a noise indicating that the room had been soundproofed.
And you lost it.
You brought a hand to your face and sank back against the wall, shoulders shaking with the force of your sobs. You pushed yourself back against the wall, trying to ground yourself. Your mind flashed back to the mission you had just returned from and you let out an agonizing scream.
You’ll never forget the looks on their faces.
“Y/n, come on we have to go!”
“Wait - no I almost have them!”
“Help us - please - no don’t go!”
Blood curdling screams that didn’t belong to you, followed by your own.
A building had collapsed on an innocent family in the aftermath of the fight. You tried to get them out, but you were too late, Steve pulling you away at the last second before you were taken out too.
You were so angry, you had been so close - if you had seen them sooner, if you had just a few more seconds, maybe you could’ve gotten them out.
The last thing that they saw was their only hope being pulled away from them before being suffocated.
You were the last thing they saw, you had promised to get them out.
And you had lied to them.
The last thing they felt was hope that they’d see another day. No - the last thing they felt was betrayal and fear when they realized that one of the world’s greatest heroes couldn’t be their hero too.
The moments that had followed were a blur, your eyes frozen on where their eyes had been, shock coursing through your veins. You had seen someone die before but...not like that. Not when you could’ve maybe saved them.
The shock quickly bubbled into anger as you turned to Steve.
“Why the FUCK would you do that? I could’ve saved them!”
“You would’ve died Y/n!”
“If you hadn’t been distracting me then maybe I would’ve gotten them out in time!”
You had angry tears in your eyes, hitting Steve’s chest and doing exactly nothing to his broad form while he tried to console you.
“Get the fuck away from me! I could’ve saved them, this is YOUR fault.”
The ride back was silent. No one dared to talk to you about what had happened. You felt bad after a while but you couldn’t apologize without completely crumbling. If you opened your mouth you were certain that sobs would come rather than words.
You did feel horrible for what you said, because it wasn’t true. It wasn’t Steve’s fault.
It was yours.
So you waited until you returned to the privacy of your room, screaming bloody murder over the guilt you felt. Replaying what had happened, telling yourself everywhere you had gone wrong, every hesitation that could’ve given you an extra few seconds.
You felt like you’d never stop seeing their eyes, paralyzed by fear.
You were the last thing they saw, and now you would remember their last moment for the rest of yours.
You couldn’t imagine the amount of pain and fear they had felt when they realized they weren’t getting out of the rubble alive. That they would die as a part of a warzone they didn’t intend to be a part of. The feeling of hope draining from their bodies, blood running cold as they realized they had mere seconds left.
“No!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, body curling in on itself as you drew your knees in and wrapped your arms around your torso, sick to your stomach.
This was your fault, and you would never forget it.
---
The rest of the team had sighed as they watched you get off the quinjet, walking a bit too fast to be alright. They shared concerned looks with each other, watching your form disappear into the compound.
You weren’t okay, but after what had happened when Steve tried to approach you, they thought it best to give you some space.
The rest of them entered the compound, going their separate ways as Steve sat to down and ran a hand down his face, trying to get his mind off of what had happened. He was shaken up too, but he couldn’t lose you like that. You would die protecting strangers, and while he thought that was noble, he wondered when there wouldn’t be someone to pull you out in time.
Bucky had come down to check on you, knowing that the team had gotten back from a mission. But before he could knock on the door, F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke. “Sergeant Barnes, Y/n has requested that she not be disturbed.”
Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, both in concern and confusion. Usually when a mission hit you hard, you would talk to him about what had happened. So either you were just tired, or this was worse than it had ever been.
He clenched his jaw and stood there for another few moments before he walked away, heading towards anyone who may be able to tell him what happened on the mission.
He came into the common room, seeing Steve doing a mission report. Well - the mission report was in front of him and he was staring blankly at it.
“Steve?” Bucky said softly, trying not to startle him.
Steve didn’t look up.
“Steve,” Bucky said a little louder.
Steve looked up from the papers, shaking his head slightly. “Hey, Buck. What’s up?”
“Are you okay?” Bucky asked, taking in Steve’s tired appearance and how his mind seemed elsewhere.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Steve said, barely looking at Bucky.
“You know, I’ve taken care of enough black eyes from mister back-alley hero to know when you’re not really fine.” Bucky said with a small smirk.
Steve’s eyes flicked up to Bucky’s as he sighed. “It’s not me you should be worried about,” he muttered.
“What happened?” Bucky asked.
Steve recounted the mission to his friend, Bucky getting increasingly concerned about you. He knew you had a tendency to blame yourself for different things, and he knew what blaming yourself for someone’s death was like, even if you couldn’t control the situation.
Bucky was brainwashed. You were too late. Two different things, but the survivor's guilt was excruciating.
“Is she okay?” Bucky asked nervously.
“She didn’t get hurt, if that’s what you mean,” Steve started, “but she seemed pretty shaken up. You haven’t talked to her?”
“She doesn’t want to be bothered,” Bucky said.
Steve nodded. “Just give her some time,” he said, worriedly.
Bucky nodded, though unconvinced. He bottled up his emotions until the two of you met. Ever since the two of you never kept anything from each other. And he knew that seeing someone die and feeling at fault for it could destroy you. He wasn’t sure if time and space was what you needed.
But it was what you wanted right now. So he wouldn’t get in the way.
----
Back in your room you were curled in a ball on the floor, sobs wracking your body as you lost all sense of time and space and all you knew was it hurt and if you closed your eyes they were right there and you couldn’t do anything about it. You had a hand pressed to your chest as you tried to breathe but eventually gave way to a new surge of agony when your mind went back to how people died and you couldn’t help them.
You tried to calm down but then your mind would remind you that they had a family and they would never see them again and it was your fault.
“Stop, please just stop,” you put your hands over your ears as you tugged slightly on your hair.
They died terrified.
“Please make it stop,” you sobbed.
You were supposed to help them and you failed.
“No, God, please stop…”
They died because of you
----
You had fallen asleep on the floor at some point, when, you weren’t sure, but you woke up to your own screams. You were drenched in a cold sweat, dried tears on your face and chest heaving as you tried to breathe. You brought your hands to your mouth when you realized it was just a dream, sobbing once again.
You didn’t know why these people’s death was hitting you harder than any other death you had seen. This wasn’t the first time you had seen people die - far from it. You’d killed your fair share of agents without a hint at remorse. Because they deserved it.
You’d seen buildings burn down, fall apart, innocent people die - but you’d never felt as responsible as you did this time. Because they were right there. And you were so close.
But they still died and you saw their last moments. And you were theirs.
And it was destroying you.
----
You didn’t leave your room the following day. Or the day after that.
Needless to say, the team was extremely worried about you. Especially Bucky.
He knew what survivor’s guilt could do to a person, and he knew being alone with your thoughts wasn’t helping. He also knew that pushing the topic could do much more harm than good, causing you to retreat further into yourself.
He tried texting you, wanting to let you know that he was there for you, that he was worried about you, and that he loved you.
None of them went though because your phone was off, you having not even looked at it since coming back from the mission.
F.R.I.D.A.Y. was still telling everyone that you did not want to be disturbed, as you had requested. Obviously Tony had the power to override the locks, but again, no one wanted to push you.
When it had been 3 days since you had seen any sunlight, Bucky had had enough. He knew you couldn’t be taking proper care of yourself and he couldn’t let you do that to yourself. He had Tony override your locks and he came to your door, knocking gently.
“Y/n?”
Silence.
He knocked again, a little louder. “Y/n? I’m coming in, alright?”
Silence.
Bucky took a deep breath before he opened your door slowly, peeking his head in. it was the middle of the afternoon and your room was dark, the only light coming from the hallway and from the cracks between the shades, which were drawn shut.
Bucky let himself in and turned on a lamp, shutting the door behind him. He looked at you with worried eyes as he took in your appearance.
You were pressed up against the headboard of your bed, knees drawn to your chest as you stared blankly, your eyes fixated on your bedsheets. Your eyes were red, face blotchy, your hair was a mess and you were still wearing your uniform from the mission.
“You shouldn’t be here,” you said quietly, voice raspy from yelling these past few days.
“Y/n -”
“Get out,” you said quietly, though not angrily.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, y/n.”
“Please,” you said, cursing yourself as your voice cracked. You didn’t want to breakdown in front of Bucky.
“It’s not your fault, y/n.”
You pushed yourself off of the bed, shaking your head. “I’m not doing this right now, Bucky.”
“You’re going to have to talk about it at some point, y/n.”
“Not if I can help it.”
“This kind of thing isn’t going to go away, okay? Time heals but not by itself.” You weren’t listening as you ran a hand over your face, overwhelmed.
“Please, talk to me y/n. You’re going to make yourself sick.”
“I’m fine.”
“This isn’t fine. Not taking care of yourself and living in the dark staring at the wall isn’t fine, y/n. Please, don’t hide from me. It’s just me, y/n.”
You shook your head, eyes glazed over like glass. “I could’ve saved them.” you said simply.
“Y/n, there was nothing -”
“BULLSHIT!” You yelled. “There had to have been something I could do, if I had gotten there earlier or - or if I had moved faster or been stronger then I could’ve gotten them out! It’s my fault they’re dead okay? I couldn’t save them and that’s my fault!”
Bucky walked over to you slowly, asking you to look at him. “It isn’t your fault, y/n. The building collapsed, no one could’ve gotten them out.”
“I could have saved them.” you said again, tears falling down your face. “I could have gotten them out. I was the last thing they saw and you know what I was doing? Being carried away like some coward. They died afraid because a superhero couldn’t save them. And that’s on me.”
Bucky shook his head slightly. “You can’t save everyone, y/n.”
“So what, am I supposed to choose? I’m supposed to choose whether I save people or move on because they aren’t part of the mission? Am I supposed to let them die?” you asked incredulously.
“You can’t risk your own life like that, y/n.”
“What? And pretend like my life is any more important than theirs?!” you exclaimed.
“Y/n -”
“No, why do I have the right to walk away from people because I’m afraid of getting hurt when they’re about to die? What gives me that right?”
“Because I can’t lose you!” Bucky exclaimed. “Yes, those people matter, but goddamn it y/n, you have helped so many people and you will keep saving so many people, but you can’t do that if you’re dead. We help who we can and mourn the rest. It’s not your fault that those people died. There was nothing that you could have done.”
“But if I had a few more seconds -”
“The building still would have fallen and you’d be asking yourself for a few more seconds. There is nothing you or anyone else could’ve done.”
You stayed silent, more tears falling from your eyes. Bucky pulled you in for a hug as your shoulders started to shake with more sobs. “I know it doesn’t make it hurt any less, but it’s not your fault.”
“I can’t stop seeing the look they had on their faces,” you shook your head. “Everytime I try to sleep I see them and I can’t make it go away. And I want to forget but I don’t deserve to and it hurts but I don’t deserve to forget.”
“I know, I know,” Bucky said, knowing all too well what being haunted by the fear on someone’s face was like. “But it’s not your fault. You didn’t let them die, y/n. You would’ve given anything to save them, if Steve hadn’t pulled you away you would’ve died with them. You didn’t run away even though you knew you would die if you stayed. You do know that right?”
“I don’t care.”
“I don’t think you mean that,” Bucky said softly. You felt new tears fall from your eyes as you hid your face into Bucky’s chest.
“You can’t tell me that nothing could be done. You can’t tell me that innocent people were going to die and that’s the way it has to be. That isn’t fair,” you spoke through your tears.
Bucky pulled back to wipe the tears from your face and look you in the eyes. “They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you did everything in your power to save them. It’s not your fault that you got there too late. Those HYDRA agents who destroyed the city - it’s their fault. Not yours.”
“I’m supposed to protect people,” you said as you shrugged and shook your head slightly. “If I can’t do that then what am I?”
“A person who is trying their best. You don’t always have to be everyone’s hero. You don’t have to take responsibility for everyone, that’s too much to expect of anyone. It’s not your responsibility to save everyone because you can’t. But you’ve saved so many people that would’ve died if you weren’t there. You are so important, but you have to stay alive to help more people.”
You took a shaky breath. “Those people were going to die no matter what,” you whispered, more to yourself than to Bucky. Your chest tightened again and you felt sick. “Oh my God,” you said, the acceptance of the fact brought on a new wave of emotions as your knees felt weak.
Bucky pulled you back into his chest again, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “It’s not your fault, y/n.”
“Then why does it hurt so much?” you sobbed against his chest.
“Because you have a good heart.”
You shook your head against his chest. “I don’t want one if it means it’s going to hurt this much.”
“It’s okay, y/n. It’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you.”
“Please make it stop. I don’t want it to hurt anymore.”
Bucky felt tears sting his own eyes at your pain, holding you tighter against him. He cleared his throat before saying “I can’t make it go away. But I’m here to hold you and do everything I can to make it better. I’m not going anywhere y/n.”
He held you against his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
--------
taglist: @buckys2thicc @babydaddy-buckybarnes @broadwaybabe18 @sup--ernova @fierylibraa @barnesplums @thatfangirl42 @abitgryffindorky @bucks-bunny @peggycarter-steverogers @buckys-blue-eyes @mardema @freigeistundanderes @strawberrimae @im-sick-of-failing
Add yourself to my taglist!
Main Masterlist
976 notes · View notes
jtargaryen18 · 3 years
Text
His Inheritance ~ Chapter 14 Preview
Tumblr media
God help me. This chapter is getting to be a monster. I’ll apologize in advance that it’s going to be a LONG one but it will post soon...
Yelena did help you out of the elaborate wedding dress. Then there was the gun strapped to your thigh. Removing the .22 and the cuff, she thought about it for a moment and then handed them to you.
“Hold onto them for me,” she bid you. “You can find a hiding place, yes?”
Oh, you could and did. “You know, I have no idea how to use it.”
“You could learn,” Yelena told you. “It would be best if you did.”
That intrigued you. Especially with Katerina’s hatred of you, the mystery of her necklace, Bucky Barnes, and creepy mustache guy.
“You would teach me?” you asked.
“I would,” she replied with no hesitation.
You grabbed a robe and she kept you company as you tried to decide which of the fancy lingerie pieces to wear for your wedding night. Her company was soothing, nearly as comfortable to you as Dyson’s.
You’d kept your alcohol intake to a minimum as she’d suggested. You just wished you had a bit now.
Shaking your head at the three different filmy little negligees you’d narrowed it down to, you sighed. “I have no clue what I’m doing here.”
“What do you mean?” She eyed you curiously. “You’ve shared a bed by now, yes?”
“I haven’t shared a bed with anyone,” you admitted.
The shock on her face at that was priceless. You had to laugh.
After a moment, she recovered. “Well, honestly, it really won’t matter what you’re wearing. Not where he is concerned. Wear what would make you feel best.”
“Then I’ll wear my pajamas,” you told her.
Instead of telling you what you should do or what was expected, Yelena nodded. Deferred to you.
Now that’s the kind of support you really needed.
But on thinking about it, you needed to look the part. You needed to convince Steve to allow you to retain Yelena as your security. Especially if she could help you learn to defend yourself. If you were going to be trapped in a world of violence? You needed to learn to be violent.
When you picked out the pale blue negligee instead, Yelena’s raised brow posed the question she didn’t speak.
“Since apparently I’m seeing this marriage through,” you explained, “I guess I should go with one of these.”
When she nodded to the strap mark around your thigh where the gun had been for hours, you shrugged and tried to play it nonchalantly. You just didn’t think you were fooling her at all.
“It will be a conversation opener,” you said nervously.
“Hey,” Yelena said, sounding more like a friend than a bodyguard. “It’s nothing to be scared of so long as he is careful with you. The first time always hurts but in time, you might like it.”
You suspected she was right, but you weren’t going to admit that to her or yourself.
“Either way,” Yelena went on, “you will find sex a useful tool with him.”
“Keep him happy you mean?” You’d heard this before. “Be a submissive wife and mother?”
“No,” Yelena was firm. “That’s not what I meant… Look, sex can be whatever you want it to be. If you make it a chore, an obligation, you will treat it like a chore. And you will send him back to her bed.”
You didn’t like that reference. “Do you know her?” you had to ask.
“No,” she replied. “But seeing how she conducted herself today...”
Yelena didn’t need to finish that thought.
“Make sex what you want it to be,” she went on. “Steve isn’t unattractive. That’s fortunate.”
That was the truth. Steve was undeniably handsome.
“You will learn it and then you will learn what you like,” she concluded.
“I have no idea what I like,” you told her, fighting back nerves. “Katerina was right about one thing. I have no clue how to satisfy him.”
Yelena shrugged. “That you have never been with anyone could be an advantage. Some men like that. Steve will teach you how to please him. He will please you. But you need to be willing to learn. And once you have, perhaps you will both enjoy that aspect of your relationship.”
You’d honestly never thought about any of it that way.
“Once you’re confident in your intimacies, you’ll find that he is more receptive to your ideas and wishes.” The smirk she finished that with was telling. She wasn’t telling you to grin and bear it. She was explaining how you could take some ownership in your marriage, even as inexperienced as you were.
She had to leave not long after that and you changed into the negligee. You kept the satin robe on over it to help shield you from winter’s chill. As you waited for your husband, you thought about all of Yelena’s advice and help. You were more determined now to have her as your confidante, your protection.
Nerves were getting best of you as you tried to stay calm, turning on a musical that you often watched for comfort.
Steve quietly opened the door and walked into your bedroom just after midnight.
133 notes · View notes
Text
Don’t Go Baking My Heart || Seokjin
Tumblr media
Pairing: Seokjin x reader
Summary: You fall in love with Kim Seokjin’s bakery after wandering into it to take advantage of the post-Valentine’s Day discount on the chocolates. Maybe it’s the owner’s bad jokes, maybe it’s the other regulars, maybe it’s the delicious pastries. Or maybe there’s something more that keeps you coming back to that shop.
Also available on Ao3.
Word count: 14.7k
Genre: Strangers (to Friends) to Lovers, Bakery AU, tooth-rotting Fluff, some smut
Warnings & Tags: mentions of insecurities and of former relationships, smut (vaginal sex, oral [male receiving], fingering), Jin makes Bad Jokes, Valentine’s Day themed
A/N: Soooo this was supposed to come out for Valentine’s Day, but it wasn’t ready then, so you guys get it now instead! I’m bad with puns so I definitely had to look online for those used in this oops. Finally, I’d like to give a big thank you to the amazing @elidebrey​ who actually worked in a bakery shop and told me all about (I’m sorry you guys ran out of milk all the time). She’s an amazing writer and you should check her out if you like the Batfam! Hope you’ll enjoy this one-shot!
Tumblr media
February 15th
You first walk into Kim Seokjin’s bakery the day after Valentine’s Day. Your eye was caught by the chocolates and cakes you noticed on sale from the outside, and also the name of the place, The Rolling Scones, which is either genius or terrible, you can’t pick. The door bell chimes happily, first when you push the door open and then when it closes behind you.
The place is empty. There’s no one behind the counter, and you find yourself hesitating there for a second, both arms behind your back like a shy schoolgirl — which you once were, but that was a while ago now. Natural light, the cold sun of February, is falling through the bay windows, and the place is cute, clearly decorated with love and care. It makes you feel just a little warmer inside.
Since no one seems to be showing up, you take your time to look at the display. You’ve spent the past week crying over the end of your two year relationship, and you’re desperately craving something sweet and sugary to fill the hole in your heart and in your life. Post Valentine’s Day discount is definitely the best way to do that.
If you’re being completely honest with yourself, you knew this relationship was never going to be your forever. It was just a nice and comfortable situation to be in, and you expected you and him to part ways at some point.
You just didn’t particularly expect it to be now.
“Jungkook!” a strong voice shouts from the back of the shop, startling you. It’s quickly followed by a curse, and then a man walks in, glancing back with a worried expression, tying an apron around his waist and adjusting a small black hat on his head. You notice the ‘Jungkook’ tag on his apron, and it makes you soften in sympathy. The second his eyes fall on you, he recomposes himself, and shoots you a smile that’s professional, though the nervousness doesn’t quite disappear. “What can I do for you?”
“I was just looking,” you say, and he leans forward, probably straining to hear. Your voice has always had that weird tendency to become inaudible when you’re talking to strangers. “You don’t have anything with strawberries, do you?”
“I’m afraid everything we had went yesterday,” he says with a sympathetic frown.
“Oh, right,” you mumble. You’re disappointed to a stupid degree, and you know it’s because your emotions have been running wild recently, to the point where any small contrariety threatens to make you cry. Fortunately, you don’t, right now. That would be horribly embarrassing. “Um, I guess I’ll take that box and, uh, the éclair, please, then.”
“Of course!”
His movements are quick and precise as he takes it out, and you could be mistaken, but you think he’s deliberately not looking at you. You’re not particularly blaming him for it, though, because you’re doing the exact same thing.
“Anything else?” he asks once he’s done, and you shake your head, avoiding eye contact. “For here or to go? We’re also a café,” he elaborates when you give him a surprised — and slightly panicked — glance.
“Oh. To go, please,” you say, not so much because you actually want to, and much more because you’re bad at changing your plans when you had already made your decision.
Except… You eye the bakery. It’s not like you have anyone to come back to, and you don’t particularly want to be back at your apartment to wallow alone. You might even get some things done while you’re here.
“Um, actually, would you mind if I…?” The question dies on your lips. You’re already feeling too embarrassed to continue, but he looks up, eyes wide, and nods.
“No, no, please take a seat! Do you want something to drink as well?”
“That— That would be nice, actually.”
“Alright, just give me a second and I’ll bring you our, er, menu.”
It’s not a menu, it’s a list of drinks the owner printed and coated with plastic, and insists on calling a menu, but he isn’t going to tell you that.
You pick a table that faces the door, and after choosing and ordering your tea, pull out your computer. It’s not that the things you have to do can’t wait, but you don’t like sitting alone doing nothing. The shop is desperately empty, and part of you is terrified by the idea that Jungkook could come over to talk to you. That would probably end up not being completely unpleasant, but you’re not sure you can handle that much interaction with other human beings right now.
While scrolling through the text you are currently working on editing, you pick a chocolate out of the box to eat it and hold back a satisfied moan at the taste. The fact that it’s so good makes you feel a little more upset that you’ve never been in a relationship for Valentine’s Day and therefore have never been given anything like that.
It’s always been bad luck really, because you’ve been in a few relationships, but even with your last boyfriend, the two of you were on a break in February. The others never made it longer than a few months, and never fell at the right time. It’s not even like you want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, you do think it’s mostly a commercial holiday, and you definitely don’t want any expensive gift, but you’d be happy to have someone by your side to make fun of other couples with. Someone to love you, and someone to love.
God, you want to be in love so bad. For a few months, you thought you had it with your ex, and maybe you did, for a moment, but it had slipped from your fingers without you managing to do anything about it, leaving you sad and empty. You want to feel everything the movies and books promised, the butterflies in the stomach, the rush in the beat of your heart. You want to feel like someone holds your world in their hands. You want them to love you back — really love you, so much that you’ll catch them looking at you and see it in their eyes immediately, so much that they’ll remember how you like your tea in the morning.
You don’t think your ex ever loved you, and you don’t really blame him for that. He liked you, certainly, and for a long time that was enough for you. But now, with it being over and him telling you he’d ‘met someone’, you want more out of your next relationship.
Then again, you’d thought that last time as well.
You’re grateful when Jungkook brings you your tea, tearing you away from thoughts you really don’t want to be having right now. He gives you a smile, then is quick to retreat back behind the counter, and something tells you that he has the same difficulties talking to people as you do.
That can’t make his job fun.
You’re soon able to immerse yourself in your work, much to your surprise. Usually, you’re hyper aware of your surroundings, and it’s hard to get work done unless you’re in a place that’s both quiet and familiar, but the atmosphere in here is so warm and pleasant that you’re able to relax and focus, all while drinking your tea and eating your sweets. It’s quite close to perfect, actually.
Which is why you jump violently when someone’s voice booms into the shop.
“Jeon Jungkook!”
You look up, panicked, and Jungkook turns around with the exact same look on his face. You don’t remember the doorbell ringing, so it has to be someone from the shop, and indeed, a tall man with short black hair walks in from the same place Jungkook entered. And your brain short-circuits.
It doesn’t happen all that often, for you to simply find yourself frozen because of how good-looking someone is, but in that case, you just can’t help it. The man who just walked in is tall, with very nice, broad shoulders, and the apron he is wearing underlines the muscles of his chest in ways you didn’t think were possible, but more than that, he’s also, quite possibly, the most handsome man you’ve ever laid eyes on. When you glance at his plump, full lips, you find yourself having a hard time to tear yourself away. You’re relieved that you didn't have to order from him, because you’re sure it would have made you blush and stutter.
“Jungkook, there’s a mess in the back! What are you waiting fo—” Jungkook gives panicked glances in your direction, and the man catches your presence from the corner of his eyes, turning his sentence around as smoothly as is humanly possible, all while his lips curve up into a professional smile. “Ooh, hello, dear customer! I don’t think we’ve seen you here before, have we?”
A smile spills on your mouth, much to your surprise.
“No, it’s my first time here,” you answer. Your voice isn’t as strong as you’d like for it to be, but at least you didn’t choke. You suppose still being heartbroken serves as a shield against the man’s handsomeness. “I figured there’d be some discount after Valentine’s Day, and I was hungry, so…”
“You figured you’d kill two birds with one scone?” the man asks while Jungkook, behind him, silently smacks his forehead. You figure he’s heard it a million time before, but you haven’t, and you can’t help but laugh. That makes the man’s smile widen genuinely and his eyes crease.
“I guess you came up with the bakery name,” you chuckle.
“Absolutely. Isn’t it a great name?”
Jungkook shakes his head in disgust.
“It’s genius,” you say, and the man slams his hand on the table.
“See? I told you! Jungkook keeps saying that I have a terrible sense of humor—”
“I’ll be in the back if you need me,” Jungkook grumbles.
“Hey, what do we say to customers?”
“Ah— It was nice to meet you!” he says, turning around to look at you and he seems somewhat sincere. “I hope we’ll be seeing you again.”
Then he bows his head politely and disappears in the back of the shop. The other man — who you suppose is the owner of the place — watches, laughing fondly, but goes quiet after that, so you go back to your work.
You don’t stay around too long, not wanting to overstay your welcome, but you’re still the only one in the shop by the time you decide to walk out.
“Was the tea any good?” the man asks as you walk by him.
You nod and smile.
“And the chocolates were delicious,” you add. “I’ll make sure to come back.”
“That’s music to my ears,” he says, dramatically putting a hand on his chest. That’s when you notice the ‘Seokjin’ tag on his apron. You don’t know what to do with that information, though. You don’t call strangers by their first name and you also don’t stalk people on line.
Especially not when you don’t have their last name.
You say a quick ‘goodbye’, then walk out. Jin’s eyes follow you for a few seconds, before he sighs and turns around, already taking off his apron.
“Jungkook!”
The boy is quick to appear again, scanning the shop for your presence.
“She’s gone?” he asks, and Jin gives a slap at the back of his employee's head with a groan. There’s no strength in it, though, and Jungkook barely reacts to it.
“How could you run away like that, you little—”
Jungkook easily avoids him when Jin tries to him it again, laughing at his outrage.
“We’re not going to be getting a lot more clients today, are we?” he asks, looking outside at the passers-by that don’t even spare a glance at the little shop.
“No,” Jin groans, letting himself fall on a chair.
The depressing calm that follows what is possibly the busiest day of the year for him is just one of the reasons why he absolutely despises Valentine’s Day.
February 22nd
When you show up at the bakery again, about a week later, you’re feeling surprisingly good about it. Last time went well, you decided, and the people were nice, so you’re not afraid to throw a quiet but polite “Hello!” when you walk in. It’s kind of funny — or is it sad — how it always surprises you when people are nice to you, much more used to passive disinterest at best.
There’s another man in the shop this time, with a laptop and a coffee in front of him, but he doesn’t look up at you. A head lifts up from behind the counter though. You feel vaguely embarrassed that you remember this one is Seokjin, and you only feel more awkward when he gives you a dazzling smile.
A glance at the display tells you that they have restocked on their strawberry-based pastries, and you happily pick a slice of cake for yourself.
“For here or to go?”
“I’ll have it here,” you say with a smile. You feel strangely proud of yourself for being able to say it spontaneously. He has no way of knowing it, but it’s quite the victory for you. Usually, you try to run from the presence of others as fast as you can, and it’s even worse those days. “And I’ll also have Darjeeling tea with it, please.”
“Coming right up, just take a seat and I’ll bring it to you,” he says, and then he winks. He doesn’t stick around to see the surprised look on your face, so you just do as he told you, wondering if he was flirting with you or if he’s just Like That. You think that second explanation might be the answer.
“It’s nice to see you again,” he says when he arrives with the cake and the tea. You’re pretty sure he can’t place you exactly, just thinks your face is familiar, but it still makes you happy.
He tells you he hopes you’ll come back when you leave, and you decide you want to believe it.
June 1st
You’re not sure when you become an official ‘regular’ at the bakery. Maybe it’s when you ask Jin if they even do scones, and he leans over the counter to tell you conspiratorially that he actually wanted to call the shop ‘bake it ’til you make it’, but was told it was too long. That elicits a brief burst of laughter from you, and Jungkook tells you to stop encouraging him, but Seokjin looks so happy with himself when you laugh that you decide not to listen to him. Jin has that way of breaking past your shyness that fascinates you. It might be what keeps you coming back, more than the delicious sweets and how beautiful the two workers look.
Or maybe it’s when Jin tells you that it’s not fair you know their names but they don’t know yours, and that he’d ask you for your ID before selling you stuff if you don't tell him. When you tell him, he repeats it a couple of times, like he’s tasting it, before nodding with satisfaction. After that, him and Jungkook start greeting you with it, and insist you do the same with them. You’re reluctant at first, feeling somewhat confused about the whole thing, but it turns out to feel… nice, to have people to greet, and who also know your name.
Maybe it’s when Jin tells you that you’re late when you come in, or complains when you don’t show up on one of your usual days because you had a meeting with your boss. He doesn’t say anything on the day where you take your pastries to go because you’re visiting a friend at the hospital, though, and you wonder if he can just tell. Regardless, you appreciate it.
You find out about other people who come here frequently, too, and especially the ones who are friends with Jin and Jungkook. Namjoon, who sits with his laptop at the opposite end of the café from you. Yoongi, who usually sits in the same spot as you, and eyes you threateningly when he comes in and you’re there the first time, until Seokjin tells him to knock it off. Taehyung and Jimin, who always come in together, and who Jungkook usually joins to bicker and laugh with them. Hoseok, who likes to waltz in at random times, and whose smile actually rivals Jin’s.
You yourself come in twice a week, getting to your usual place to work — except on the couple of occasions where Yoongi gets there before you and gives you a triumphant smile when he sees you. You enjoy the way you’re always greeted by Jungkook or Seokjin, like they’re genuinely happy to see you. You discover that the old ladies who come here to gossip love to flirt with Jin and that, even though he flirts back outrageously, much to their delight, his ears tend to turn a bright red when he does.
You even bring your friends on a couple of occasion, and Seokjin jokes that you’re responsible for half of his turnover at this point. Your friends enjoy the food, and the drinks, but they enjoy the handsome employees and customers a lot more.
“So this is where all the hot men were,” Hana marvels when you walk out, and you burst out laughing. You like that you’ve shared this place with her, because it’s something that makes you really happy these days, motivates you to come out of your bed, and even to talk to people, something you’ve never been good at.
When you walk into the shop and make small talk with the people you’ve come to know, something you used to consider yourself terrible at, it might be silly, but it kind of feels like home.
June 21st
You are pretty sure you know when you go from regular to friend, though. It’s a day like any other and you hum on your way to the shop. Instead of the joyful “Welcome back, (Y/N)!” that you’ve gotten used to hearing these past few weeks, however, you’re greeted with Seokjin shouting “(Y/N), my savior!”.
You freeze on the spot and give him a worried look. From his table, Namjoon looks up, just as puzzled.
“Is everything okay, Jin?” he asks.
“Jungkook isn’t there today,” Jin tells you. His voice doesn’t sound different from usual, but there is a glint of panic in his eyes.  “I need your help.”
Namjoon stands up.
“Why didn’t you ask me? I could—”
“Stay where you are and don’t even think of approaching my kitchen,” Jin says threateningly. “(Y/N)? Please?”
Well. You suppose your work can get done later. You’re more productive when you come here, so you have some advance on your usual deadlines these days. But you don’t know what Jin wants from you and you’ve never worked in a bakery.
“What do you want me to do?” you ask cautiously.
He grabs your shoulders and your eyes widen at the contact. Not that it’s unpleasant, just unexpected.
“I knew when you first walked in here that you were a godsend,” he tells you seriously, looking right into your eyes, and you tell yourself that if he’s that good of an actor, you should probably watch out. “We’re out of milk.”
You blink.
“Okay. Is there a specific type of milk you want?”
“Just, milk. Get me milk and I’ll worship the ground you walk on until the end of days.”
You roll your eyes at his dramatics, and take your bag off your shoulder, handing it to him.
“Look after that, okay? I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll protect it with my life,” he says solemnly. “Also paper napkins please!” he shouts as you’re already walking out.
“Will do!”
“Bake a leg!”
You want to protest the joke that even you find to be quite bad, but the door has already closed behind you, so you just shake your head at him, only to see him laughing with satisfaction through the glass, and head to the nearest supermarket.
Tumblr media
You come back with two big packs of milk and a lot of paper napkins, just as two men are exiting. You’ve seen them before, but they never stay to chat. Inside, Jin is juggling three women, and he looks more relieved than you’ve ever seen him when you walk in.
“I’ll help you with that,” Namjoon says immediately, bumping in the table as he gets up.
“If you break anything, I’ll kill you,” Jin warns him. He’s smiling like he’s joking, and his tone is light, like he doesn’t want to scare off his customers, but his eyes say he’s sincere.
You’re quick in the back, and Namjoon does drop the packs once, but nothing bad happens. He presses a finger against his lips to tell you to keep it a secret, and you grin without a word. Part of you is kind of wondering what you’re doing there, why Jin feels comfortable letting you in the back and why he asked you to do that, but you don’t have an issue with it, not by a long shot. This is… kind of fun, actually.
“Anything else you want me to do?” you ask Jin when you come out, and he looks at you in a pleading way.
“You don’t mind?”
Something tells you you shouldn’t accept too quickly, that you could end up in way over your head faster than you know. But his brown eyes are wide and desperate and you just can’t say no. So you smile and shake your head.
“Of course not. You look like you really need a hand here.”
“I do.”
Tumblr media
That’s how you find yourself in an apron, with the cute, black hat Jin and Jungkook always wear on your head. Jin mostly sends you in the back to pick up things he needs, or makes you bring the beverages to the customers, which you’re thankful for, because that way you don’t have to greet anyone. Time flies quickly, and you can barely find a second to breathe for the first few hours.
“Sorry, it’s lunch time,” Jin grimaces as he passes you by, and you think to yourself that at least, it will get better, but it takes a while even after that, and when it’s done, Jin sends you to buy some more stuff from the supermarket, because as it turns out, things go fast.
Before you know it, it’s closing time, and you look outside in disbelief. The sky is starting to turn a nice pink, and other shops are putting up their shutters.
“You can go, if you want,” Jin tells you. He sounds terribly sorry, and that makes you feel bad. It’s such an unusual tone for him to have.
His offer is tempting, of course. Your feet hurt, your head aches a little from all the noise that never bothered you before but turns out to be a lot when you’re there all day, you’ve burned your hand against an oven, and you’ve found out that carrying things ends up really hurting your back. But you know that he’s experiencing the same thing you do, and you just don’t have the heart to abandon him here. Also, you’ve already lost your day, so you might as well help him out now.
“It’s fine,” you sigh. “Do you want me to help with anything?”
Cleaning up goes quietly in the main shop, and that soothes you a little. You don’t mind the silence, even enjoy it, and find yourself relaxing for the first time today. Surprisingly, you’re feeling… satisfied. It’s not something you would particularly look forward to doing again, but you’re happy you did it, happy you helped Jin, and you feel like you’ve accomplished something today, which is always a good thing.
“You have flour everywhere,” he tells you bluntly when you walk in the back of the shop, and you laugh.
“Well, it got everywhere,” you reply, trying to rub some off your face, and it’s Jin’s turn to laugh when you fail miserably.
You know you shouldn’t do it, but you gather a small handful of flour from the table, and throw it at him. A good chunk hangs in the air and makes you cough, but the rest does land on his apron. His mouth falls open into an ‘o’ shape and you know you’ve messed up.
“Listen, I am so sorry—”
“No you’re not,” he says, taking a step towards you. His hand is on the table, which is covered with flour, and you swallow.
“Sure I am, Jin, please—”
But your pleas fall in deaf ears, and flour is soon flying your way. It’s your turn to stare at Jin in disbelief, and then you’re laughing, loud and clear.
Maybe that’s the exact moment when the two of you become friends — really friends.
Or maybe it’s seconds later, when the room you’re in turns into the scene for an all-out flour battle. Regardless, you’re laughing the whole way through, when you’re not choking on the flour hanging in the air. Jin’s laughter is quieter than yours, miles away from the booming and somewhat fake laugh you’re used to hearing from him.
The fight only escalates when Jin picks up an egg. You shake your head, mouth ‘no’, but he doesn’t listen, and after that, things get a lot messier. By the time the two of you, exhausted and bent in half because of how much you’ve been laughing, finally stop, you can feel yoke trickling down your back, and you know the sight can’t be pretty. Jin reaches out to you in a useless attempt to wipe some flour from your face, only to laugh more when it, of course, fails once more.
You try not to think about the jolt of electricity that ran through you when his fingers came in contact with your cheek.
“I’ll clean up in here,” he tells you, “but you should go take a shower upstairs.”
“Are you sure?” you ask, surprised. Suddenly, you’re very conscious of the fact that you don’t know him that well. In recent months, you’ve talked to him more than you do with your close friends, and you did just throw several eggs at him, but you don’t know him. You’re aware of the fact that he lives above the shop, but you’ve never been there. The two of you have never even exchanged numbers.
He makes dramatic hand gestures to signal you to get away, like you’re bothering him, and you leave with a last laugh. You don’t notice the way he looks up when you do, or the way it makes him smile. He can’t help it, he just loves that he makes you laugh.
Tumblr media
You’re relieved to step into the shower, both because you’re happy to clean up and because there was something really awkward about being in Seokjin’s apartment for the first time, alone. The place was not quite as decorated as the bakery was, with paler colors. Walking through it, you had noticed big speakers, some books in a shelf, and a couple of cute plushes that you had had to resist not to fawn over. The place worked for him, you had decided. It was more understated than you would have expected when you had just started to know him, but it doesn’t surprise you anymore. Jin tends to be quiet when he doesn’t have to be ‘on’, and it’s something he doesn’t seem to feel he has to do around you anymore.
You sigh in pleasure when the hot water hits you, close your eyes. You’ve been craving it for hours now — long before the food battle with Jin. It helps relax your aching muscles, washes away all the sweat from the day, and you have to resist not to just let yourself fall down onto the floor. Your back hurts, but the worst part has to be your feet. You feel yourself gaining a lot more appreciation for Jin and Jungkook, who are always kind, smiling and polite despite all of this. The only thing that kept you from biting someone’s head off tonight was your crippling anxiety when it comes to interacting with strangers.
It’s almost funny now to think you used to feel that way around Jin.
You look around for some soap you could use, and in your search, you’re surprised to find shampoo that was definitely intended for a woman. You don’t know why you’re surprised. It’s no wonder that Jin would have a girlfriend, really, it’s the opposite that should shock you, but you still didn’t expect it. You force away the pinch in your chest. Jin is a new friend, you can’t have your heart fluttering like that.
You consider using it for half a second, before deciding that it would be very awkward if you came out smelling like his girlfriend. Instead, you do your best to get rid of any egg, and tell yourself you’ll wash your hair at home. You barely hear the sound of the door opening and closing over the water, and you’re startled by Jin’s voice outside the bathroom.
“You can take a towel from the chest of drawers,” he tells you, “and I’ll leave a shirt outside, if you want it.”
“Thank you!” you shout back.
Seokjin stands there a few seconds, before quickly shaking his head and walking away. He knows his ears are turning red, and he hates himself for it, but is it his fault, really? Is he supposed not to think about you, right now, in his shower, water running down your body? He never even thought to pretend he was that innocent.
He occupies himself by preparing a drink for the two of you, and then by cleaning around. He’s not particularly messy, though, and there isn’t much to do, so he ends up sitting on his couch, feeling awkward in his own house, and scrolling aimlessly through his phone. He freezes again when he hears the bathroom door open and close, guessing you’re picking up his shirt. Which means you’re— God what is wrong with him tonight? When did he regress to the state of a hormonal teenager?
He hopes he looks natural when you come out, because he’s doing his best for that. The nervous way he’s running his hands over his thighs would probably give him out, though, if you weren’t feeling just as stressed as him.
“I’m done,” you mumble, your shyness coming back, which you decide is to be expected in that situation.
It vanishes the second Jin looks you over and snorts.
“What’s wrong?” you ask, glancing down, and immediately you know that you’re probably ridiculous in his black shirt. It looks like it’s swallowing you whole. “It’s not my fault if your shoulders are that broad,” you pout.
“You look so small,” Jin chuckles. He sounds endeared, and if you noticed that sort of things, you would absolutely realize that his eyes linger on you in his clothes fondly — and a little longer than necessary.
“Want something to drink?” he asks, gesturing at the stuff he got out of the fridge when he didn’t know what to do with himself.
“Sure,” you smile, letting yourself fall down on the couch next to him and pouring yourself a glass. The brief awkwardness that washed over you when you came in vanishes already, because of how comfortable you feel around Jin. He’s always been good at making you feel that way, and now he doesn’t even have to try.
“So, how did you find your day?” he asks you, and you look at him, surprised by his tone. He sounds quiet, cautious almost, like he’s worried about what your reaction might be, or that he could be bothering you.
“Fine,” you say with a shrug. “I can’t say I’d want to do it again— When is Jungkook coming back?”
Jin chuckles, and again, it takes you by surprise. It’s so… quiet. So discreet, compared to his usual attitude.
“He should be there tomorrow, don’t worry about it.” Then, he grimaces. “But seriously, thank you for helping out today. I owe you.”
“Yes you do,” you say with a grin, bumping your shoulder against his, trying to lift the mood a little, because he sounds genuinely worried. “Just offer me the tea next time, and I’ll consider us even.”
Finally, a smile forms on his lips, and he shakes his head dramatically, putting his hand over his heart.
“No, I don't think I could ever repay you,” he says, and you laugh at his antics, like you always do. He looks a little appeased by that, and that’s a relief. “Your back must hurt,” he says. “Turn around.”
You raise an eyebrow, but do as he says, startling when his hands fall on your shoulders. They’re large, engulfing you easily, but they also move gently as he slowly massages you.
“Oh,” you gasp, leaning back into him. This is— good. This is very very good. For a few minutes — or maybe much longer, you couldn’t tell — you just stay there, eyes closed, lips parted, focused on the delicious feelings of his hands gently rubbing all the pain and soreness of the day away. When he stops, it takes you a few seconds to come back down to reality, and maybe, just maybe you miss the feeling of his hands. “Oh,” you repeat, rolling your shoulders slowly. “Thank you.”
“No problem,” Jin says. “It’s kind of my fault.”
You turn around, shaking your head.
“Seokjin,” you say. “It’s fine. I didn’t mind helping.”
“You’re too kind,” he frowns. “You shouldn’t let people take advantage of that.”
“I’m not!”
Then Jin smiles, in a way that only lifts one corner of his lips, and suddenly you feel— you’re not too sure. Something seems to melt inside you, something moves in your stomach like you’re free falling. You probably should recognize the feeling. It’s not like it’s anything new to you, and yet you miss it. You do something you almost never do in that situation, and you take a step back. You glance up from his lips, shoot him a smile, and get up from the couch.
“It’s getting late,” you comment. “I really need to go home.”
Jin is on his feet immediately.
“I’ll walk you back,” he says, concern flashing in his eyes.
“I’m good. It’s not that far and I need to clear my head after, you know, everything today.” You’re not sure you know, but Jin nods, though a little reluctantly.
“You’re sure?”
“Very.”
He sighs. He doesn’t seem too pleased about it, but you guess he doesn’t want to insist too much, either.
“Give me your phone,” he says, and when you hand it to him, he types his number in, pouting as he explains himself to you. “Text me when you get home, alright? Otherwise I’ll just worry all night, because everyone is so unreasonable, and just wants me to lose sleep, and—”
You take your phone back from him with a laugh.
“I’ll text you,” you promise, briefly putting your hand over his. That feels— normal, you decide. It’s not like your hands have never brushed in the months since you’ve started frequenting the bakery. It just feels fine, and whatever there was before could just be a false alert. But then Jin looks into your eyes, and the feeling comes back.
“You better.”
You practically flee the bakery. You’re trying to make sense of the whole thing in your head, and it doesn’t go over great. You let Jin know you got home safe, and then do your best to push the whole thing out of your mind when you go to bed. You refuse to think about it too much. Not because you don’t understand what’s going on, but because somewhere, deep down, you do. This isn’t— this isn’t something you do. You fall hard and fast, that’s— that’s your thing.
Sometimes it’s nice, others it’s disappointing, but most importantly, it means that when the relationship is over, your life just goes back to what it was before. It you ever had feelings for a friend, someone you’re so used to having around… You’re sure it would truly break your heart.
July 15th
Summer is horribly hot this year. Fortunately for you, your favorite bakery has started serving ice cream. There is air conditioning in the store, but with the door constantly opening and closing, gusts of hot air regularly reach even you. No one seems too happy with the situation, with Jungkook seeming to slowly come apart under the temperature. Even Namjoon has abandoned ship, leaving much earlier than usual today. He waved at you when he got out, and you waved back.
Who knew, maybe the two of you would actually talk next time.
Jin uses a lull in the otherwise busy afternoon to drop at your table, and you smile to him. You haven’t really gone through anything like that night ever since, and you decided it was just a one time thing. You were tired from the work, and you were touch-starved, and, surely, there was nothing there, other than you gaining a new friend.
Yup. Nothing to see at all. Even when he’s sitting next to you, trying to fan himself with one of the bakery’s menus, head thrown back in a way that makes his Adam’s apple even more prominent.
You never thought yourself as someone who particularly enjoyed necks, but it seems you were wrong.
Not that that has anything to do with feelings, of course. Jin’s just hot. You already knew that.
“Hey, (Y/N), what’s your favorite cake?” he asks you.
It takes you just a second too long to answer.
“Uh. Anything that has strawberries in it, I guess,” you say, and he nods, but he’s also frowning. “Are my tastes not up to par?” you grin, raising an eyebrow.
“Clearly, your tastes are great, since you keep coming back,” Jin answers immediately, with the confidence that you now know to be mostly facade, but that you’ve still come to love. “No, strawberries are good. I can work with strawberries.”
“I actually wanted strawberries the first time I came here,” you reminisce. “But there weren’t any left because that was after Valentine’s Day.”
Jin clicks his tongue in disgust.
“Worst day of the year,” he says, “though February is a bad month for strawberries in general.”
“You don’t like Valentine’s Day?” you ask, and if you were a dog, your ears would be perking up with interest. You’ve always loved to hear people’s opinion on the holiday, because it’s so divisive. “You guys must make quite a lot of money…”
“I’m wounded that you’d think money is all I care about,” Jin sighs dramatically, though the glint in his eyes lets you know that he’s only joking. “It’s just very busy,” he admits. “It’s a lot of work to prepare, people place a lot of orders, and we basically don’t get a minute to ourselves. Not to mention— do you know what it does to a person to know that the food he lovingly prepared is probably going to be eaten off someone’s body?”
You can’t help it. You burst out laughing. When you do, you’re completely unaware of the fond way Jin looks at you. He’s always liked that he made you laugh, from the very first day you came into the store.
“No,” you admit, “no, I haven’t thought about it.”
“Well I have to.”
“I’m so sorry for you.”
“I’m sorry for me too.”
Then Jimin practically waltzes in and energetically greets everyone in the room, including you, and Jin gets up to serve him and Taehyung because Jungkook looks like he’s about to collapse, and you don’t give much more thought to the conversation.
But Jin remembers that strawberry cake is your favorite.
September 18th
Somehow, you get roped into helping Jin with his grocery shopping. He sat at your table and complained about how Jungkook wouldn’t be able to help him that week, and you voiced your sympathy, and next thing you knew, you were in the supermarket with him.
Well, maybe you’d offered your help. Maybe you just didn’t want to admit it because of that time he’d told you you were too kind.
“You know, I thought I’d be helping you for the bakery,” you comment, “but this mostly looks like it’s for you.”
“I am the bakery,” Jin replies, and you grin.
You watch him as he carefully crosses item after item of his detailed list. You expected him to be messy, to grab whatever he wanted, but he is as meticulous with this as he is with the baking he does for his customers. Which is— strangely endearing to you.
“Most of what we get comes in bigger orders,” he explains to you once he’s done with that aisle. “Sometimes, we find ourselves missing some things…”
“Like milk.”
“It’s always the milk,” he sighs, shaking his head it brings back bad memories. “But that’s not an issue for a lot of thing, unless something very specific comes up. Like a customer wanting  a pineapple pie.”
You tilt your head as he cautiously picks pineapples. You’re not even sure how you can tell if a pineapple is ripe, but he looks like he knows what he’s doing.
“That sounds… interesting?”
“It’s going to sound very interesting when I’ll make you carry half the bags,” Jin says, and you roll your eyes. Does he think you’re going to bail on him? You would never do that.
Well. Until your eyes fall on Minho, standing there, like he hasn’t simply vanished from your life six months ago. There’s a woman with him, and she’s laughing at something he said. You suppose she was the one he met — or maybe another one, there’s no way of knowing, really. But they look like they’re getting along well, and it— it makes you happy. You think.
“Huh,” you mumble. “That’s my ex over there.”
Jin looks up so fast you worry he might hurt his neck.
“What? Where? Do you need me to insult him?”
You’re about to say no when Minho turns around, and his eyes meet yours. He gives you a hesitant nod, and you think that’s going to be it, but then, after a few seconds of obvious inner debate, he makes his way towards you.
Great.
“(Y/N),” he says, a bit awkwardly. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too,” you reply softly and, much to your surprise, you mean it. You did your best not to let yourself miss him, but you suppose you did. It’s been a long time since you last saw him.
“This is, erm, this is Lisa,” he says, gesturing at the woman, who gives you a polite smile. It looks like she knows exactly who you are, and you suppose it must be uncomfortable for her as well. “My girlfriend.”
Yeah. You’d pieced that together. But then, Minho’s eyes move to Jin, and he raises an eyebrow, and you realize what he’s thinking about.
“Oh, this is—”
“Seokjin,” Jin says, extending his hand. “I’m her boyfriend.”
You’re sure that anyone looking at you can tell from your expression, from the way your mouth falls open and from the incredulous way you shake your head that that’s not true, but both Minho and Lisa are looking at him, and miss it completely. When Jin looks at you, he gives an imperceptible nod and puts an arm around your shoulders.
The warmth is— kind of nice. Maybe it even sends a shiver down your back, but you’re sure it’s because you’re still quite touch-starved those days.
Nothing else here.
“That’s great,” Minho says, and he looks relieved. “It’s great that you’re with someone.”
“Isn’t it?” Jin says before you can think of anything to answer to that. “She walked into my bakery and I just knew she would become my favorite client. Basically love at first sight.”
“Love at first sale, maybe,” you can’t help but answer, even if you know, reasonably, that you shouldn’t entertain him. You’re pretty sure he’s trying to show off in front of the two, which is really unnecessary, but you appreciate the gesture. “Jin makes the best cakes you can find in the whole town,” you tell them. Not to show off, but because it’s true. There are a lot of good things you could tell them about Jin, come to think of it. A lot.
“Maybe we should try it then,” Lisa says, smiling. She looks more relaxed than earlier, though you suppose she could also just be trying to get out of this conversation.
��Oh, it’s a must,” you reply sincerely, and Jin laughs, pulling you against his chest a little.
“She’s too nice,” he says, and you immediately protest that no, definitely not, he does, and you’re sure you look like a very annoying couple, because it doesn’t take long for Minho to clear his throat.
“Well, we have to go but it was— it was nice catching up with you.”
“Same,” you nod, and when he leaves, you can’t help but watch him. You don’t really feel anything right now. You were sincerely happy to see him, but it felt like running into a childhood friend you haven’t seen in a long, long time, and now have nothing in common with outside of those memories. Except it hasn’t been a life time since you last met him. Just a little over six months. Soon, he’ll just be someone you used to know.
You wish you were more upset by this. You wish there was anything that told you that what you had with him actually mattered. Instead, this vague indifference lets you know that your paths had probably diverged before the two of you even broke up. And that makes you kind of sad.
“Are you okay?” Jin asks. He has that quiet voice you’ve heard a few times now.
“I’m fine,” you nod, “but you really didn’t have to do that. I wasn’t— Minho and I aren’t— there really was no need.”
“I was happy to do it,” Jin says, and you notice how petty he sounds. “It’s always a joy to let an ex see how much better than them you’re doing.”
You laugh. You probably agree with him on that, but you’re not going to help feed his ego even more. Jungkook would probably never forgive you for it.
“I don’t think your girlfriend would like you doing that,” you observe, and Jin answers that remark with a blank stare.
“When have I ever said anything about a girlfriend?”
“Well, there was a bottle of shampoo at your place that—”
“So a guy can’t like having his hair smell like fruit, huh?”
“That’s not what I—”
“Wow, way to reinforce stereotypes, (Y/N). I expected more of you.”
He ignores your attempts at protesting and strides away from you. It takes you a few moments to catch up, because of his stupid long legs of his.
“If I had a girlfriend, I would never stop talking about her,” he lets you know while you’re catching your breath. “So don’t worry. You’ll know about it.”
“Duly noted,” you say. You maybe feel a little too happy about that new information so, to distract yourself from it, you change the subject. “So I’m your favorite customer?”
He scoffs and glances away from you, refusing to meet your eyes. He thought you hadn’t picked up on that.
“You’re a strong contestant, I guess,” he says reluctantly, and you laugh, not pushing it further.
“Anyway— Minho broke up with me a week Valentine’s Day,” you say. You’re not sure why. Maybe to let Jin that you’ve been over it for a long time.
“That’s rude,” Jin comments with a disapproving click of his tongue.
“He probably wanted to spend it with her,” you shrug. “When we got together, he told me he didn’t cheat. He left. So— I guess that was it.” Then there’s a laugh, and you can’t tell if it sounds bitter. You hope not. “I’ve actually never had a boyfriend for Valentine’s Day,” you confess.
The silence that follows is unusual for Jin. When you glance up at him, he’s just looking at you, and for a second, you think it’s pity you find in his eyes. But, from the way he frowns, you realize it could just be genuine sympathy.
“Would it make you feel better if I tell you it’s a terrible holiday that’s just there to sell things?”
“I already know that,” you chuckle, even if it does make you feel a little better. “I just want someone to buy me roses once, you know?”
Jin doesn’t answer, just looks at you, and something about the intensity of his stare makes you feel— feel things you told yourself you weren’t feeling for him. But then, you just ran into Minho, didn’t you? It makes sense that you would be all over the place emotionally.
“Anything more on your list?” you ask, and Jin blinks.
“Yeah, that way,” he says, sounding a bit off, but then he adds “More things for you to carry,” and you decide to brush it off.
But he stores the information in his mind. Strawberry cake and roses. Duly noted.
October 31st
“So do you actually like Halloween, or is this just another shameless cash grab for you?” you ask Jin when he brings you your tea.
You have to admit, him and Jungkook truly went all out for this. They’ve decorated the shop with pumpkins, and there are fake bats hanging from the ceiling. There are also themed cakes and chocolates shaped like spiders. It’s spooky, and it delights the kids that come in and ask the parents about it. You definitely appreciate the atmosphere it creates — and you also appreciate the way Hoseok jumped when he walked in front of the witch that lets out an evil laugh when someone passes the movement detector.
“Halloween is not terrible, I guess,” Jin says, like him and Jungkook don’t take a full day out of their schedules and bring in some friends just to decorate the shop. “Do you like it?”
“I love it,” you answer sincerely, and Jin’s expression softens.
“Hey, we’re having a small get-together after closing tonight,” he tells you spontaneously. “Wanna join us?”
You take a second to answer. It’s not like you don’t want to — far from that — but there’s that voice inside of you that tells you that you’ve been weird around Jin, and you don’t want to be weird around him. You want to keep things as they are, because he’s such a wonderful friend to have around. You’d hate yourself if you changed that.
But if the point is to have him around, then surely, telling him no right now would be counter-productive, right?
“Absolutely,” you say with a smile, and Jin beams, and you feel all warmed-up inside.
You already know that you’ll have fun, and you’ll laugh, and he’ll insist on walking you him and you’ll tell him no. And it sounds exactly like how you want to spend your evening.
January 10th
You first meet Sungho on New Year’s Eve, at Hana’s party. The two of you click immediately, and you enjoy the familiar rush of feelings, the waiting for a text after you’ve given him your number, the anticipation of knowing where this is all leading, if everything goes right. After a week, you run into him at the bakery, or, well, you’re sitting in your usual corner when he comes in. He doesn’t see you immediately, but when he looks in your direction after a little while, you happily wave him over.
“You don’t usually come here, do you?” you ask him. “I would have seen you by now if you were a regular.”
He chuckles, flashes you a bright smile, and you smile in return. Sungho has a nice smile. He doesn’t laugh easily, though, from what you saw when you met him, which is a shame, but definitely not a dealbreaker, even if you love to hear people laugh.
“No, I saw you were talking about this place a lot online, and I figured I would come and check it out. Of course, seeing you here is the best part,” he adds with a wink, and he leans towards you a little. The obvious flirtation sends a wave of heat through your chest, and you don’t hesitate to lean forward as well, resting your elbow on the table and putting your chin on your hand. You enjoy the closeness, the proximity, the chase.
You pull away when Jin arrives with Sungho’s order.
“This looks great,” Sungho comments. “I’m glad (Y/N) advertised you so much.”
“Well, there’s a reason she’s our favorite customer,” Jin replies, smiling, and when you meet his eyes, they’re fond and— and something else that makes it hard to breathe for a second.
But the smile fades when Sungho takes a portion of his cake with the spoon and offers it to you.
“Wanna try it?” he asks, and you do, because you know everything Jin makes will be amazing. You’re not sure you love the gesture itself — it’s kind of cute, but you’ve also just met him and it feels a bit strange — but you still giggle and take the bite.
And all Jin can do is stand there, looking at the two of you. He feels something he has felt before, and it’s that he let something he wanted pass him by. He waited too long to make a move, once again, and once again, it’s cost him something he doesn’t know how he’ll live without, and now he’ll have no choice but to figure it out.
You glance up, and he catches himself, plastering a smile on his lips.
“Enjoy yourselves!” he says, a little too loudly, and he knows, from the way you blink and the puzzled look you give him, that you’ve noticed and it’s— it’s horrible. It’s horrible that you know him that well and that you’ve seen so many facets of him and you’ve chosen someone else. You don’t ask anything, though, and he’s quick to leave.
He’s also quick to ask Jungkook to replace him in the shop, and he, very deliberately, doesn’t ask anything about how things went. Doesn’t want to know if you kissed, or worse, if you left together.
He’ll be fine. It’s not like it’s anything he hasn’t been through before.
February 5th
You feel impossibly excited when Sungho asks you out for Valentine’s Day. You gush about it to your friends, a lot, and Hana is delighted for you — and very pleased that her circles of friends are meeting like that. Jungkook sounds happy, too, though slightly more reserved, but you get the type of enthusiasm you wanted from Jimin and Taehyung.
Jin gets quiet when you let him know, though. It’s not something you haven’t seen before, but it does take you off guard, because you’ve never seen it happen while in the shop, where he’s usually on top of his game.
“Are you okay?” you ask, worried, leaning over the counter to put a hand on his arm. “You look a little under the weather these days.”
He smiles, but it lacks his usual flamboyance.
“Valentine’s Day is coming,” he tells you. “The worst day of the year.”
You laugh at that, relax, and take your hand off. You miss the way his eyes fall on the place you were just touching.
“Well, not this year, hopefully. Not this year.”
Yeah. He’s not so sure about that.
February 14th
It’s your first time, ever, having a date on Valentine’s Day, and you’re determined to do everything right. Sungho is taking you to a fancy restaurant, so you decide there is no issue in going all out. You take the day to prepare yourself, enlist Hana to do your make-up and hair, and you use the opportunity to wear a lovely bright red dress that you had been saving for a special occasion.
Hana whistles when you come out of your room after you’ve also put on half-transparent black tights.
“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” she says with an appreciative nod.
You glance down at your body self-consciously and try to smooth the fabric of the dress. You do think it looks pretty good, but you could be wrong. Does it show too much of your legs? Does it hug your curves too tightly?
“You think he’s going to like it?” you ask, somewhat shyly.
“He should if he knows what’s good for him,” she replies, expression turning murderous, before softening. “Just… Are you sure you want to be doing that?”
You give her a confused look.
“What are you talking about?”
“You know, going out with Sungho,” she says with a vague hand gesture. “I just— I don’t know. Do you like him that much?”
It’s funny. You haven’t really asked yourself that question. You’ve just been going through all the usual motions — the flirting, the dates, and, inevitably, the start of the relationship, which is probably for tonight.
“We— we get along fine,” you answer. “I like him.”
You leave the words ‘well enough’ out of that sentence. You like Sungho well enough. But then, that’s always been good enough for you, so why should it change now?
Hana seems to think about it for a little while, then shrugs.
“Okay then. Do you need my help to walk to the cab? I would not trust these things.”
She’s pointing at your heels, and it makes you laugh. These aren’t even that high, and they’re pretty stable. You don’t think you’ll have any trouble walking in them. Hana wouldn’t abandon her flat shoes to save her life, though, so you suppose the question was to be expected.
“You can just tell me if you want to hold my arm,” you tease, and it seems to take her by surprise, before she chuckles.
“You’ve gotten a little too good at that. I don’t know if I like it.”
“Yeah, I’m afraid Jin has infected me.”
That gives her pause, and she shoots you a weird look, but you miss it. She opens her mouth to say something, then gives up. She could be wrong, after all.
She kind of hopes she’s wrong, or that if she’s right, you’ll realize it soon enough.
Tumblr media
The dinner is perfect. You’re dressed perfectly for the occasion, fitting right in the restaurant’s decor, Sungho complimented you when you walked in and you told him he looked great, which is true, the food is delicious, the conversation flows easily, and there are roses on the table. They’re not for you, part of the decoration, and it doesn’t look like Sungho’s gotten you any, which gives you just a little pinch of disappointment in your chest, but it’s also not a big deal. It’s fine. Everything is fine.
And you’re not happy with it.
You can’t place it, and it slowly drives you insane, as you and Sungho make your way through the meal. You try your best not to let it show, but you think he notices your increasing restlessness. You feel bad about it, because really, he hasn’t done anything wrong. You just— something’s not right.
Dammit. It’s your first time having a date on Valentine’s Day, and you can’t make it work.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” Sungho says while the two of you are waiting for your desert, and you do your best to snap out of whatever is going on in your head to focus on him.
“Tell me,” you smile, though the smile is polite, rather than genuine.
He takes a deep breath and reaches over the table to take your hand. It’s far from the first time the two of you make physical contact, you’ve even kissed a few times, and it was nice, but something makes you want to recoil, in that moment. You don’t, though. Why would you? It doesn’t make sense. Nothing about you makes sense right now.
“I like you,” he says, and you find the breath knocked out of you. It’s not unpleasant, though, it’s very nice in fact, and it almost completely dissipates your previous discomfort. “And I think— you know. We haven’t said anything about being exclusive yet, so I figured I’d— ask.”
He looks pretty confident, which you thought would put you off, but it doesn’t. The answer seems obvious to you. It’s been just a little over a year since you broke up with Minho, which is a reasonable time, so your lips part to let him know that you’d be happy to—
It’s then that you remember. You remember what you told yourself after that break-up, and what you thought after the break-up before that, and the time before as well. You remember you told yourself you wouldn’t settle for less than what you really wanted. You told yourself you wanted to love and be loved. You told yourself you wanted someone who’d remember how you liked your tea.
And, just like in a movie, Jin’s face appears in your mind. You almost dismiss it, tell yourself it’s just because of the tea, until you realize it’s not. It just isn’t. You should have noticed earlier, you know that, but you’ve never been friends with someone before developing feelings for them. You’ve always told yourself you were an ‘all or nothing’ kind of person, that you were the type to know immediately if things could happen. Maybe you didn’t quite believe in love at first sight, but you’d always thought that love didn’t wait.
Apparently you were wrong.
Jin’s the one who inadvertently makes you pulse rush, when his hand brushes against you. Jin’s the one who lifts your spirits, no matter what. Jin makes you happy, makes you want to get up in the morning, has done that for months now. Jin actually knows you. Jin looks at you like you’re precious to him. Maybe that doesn’t mean love, maybe to him, it’s all just friendship, but to you, it’s much more than that. And the feeling you get is so strong, so powerful, that you understand that you need to tell him. Need to tell him now.
“I’m sorry,” you say to Sungho, who’s been waiting for an answer all this time. “I’m really sorry, I don’t think that can work out.”
His face falls, but he looks far from heartbroken.
“Oh,” he says. “Um. That’s—”
“I’m sorry,” you repeat, already getting up from your chair. You’re buzzing with excitement, with feelings. “I have to go. I’ll pay for the meal, okay?”
“No, don’t—”
“Sorry!”
You stop at the counter briefly before rushing out into the night. You feel that you know exactly where you need to be.
Tumblr media
You get to the bakery minutes before closing time, which is exceptionally at 9 p.m. for the day. A couple is just coming out, and that leaves only Jungkook inside. There’s nothing left on display, and you know it’s been impossibly busy, which means Jin is probably in a bad mood, but you can’t wait until tomorrow. When you walk in, Jungkook looks up from behind the counter, clearly surprised by the sound of someone coming in that late, and a puzzled look settles on his face when he notices that you’re out of breath, your previously perfect make-up now looking a little worse for wear.
“Is everything alright?” he asks. He sounds worried, and any other day you would take the time to reassure him, but in that moment you’re pushed by an energy that can’t be stopped, so you just nod quickly as an answer.
“Is Jin here?”
“In the back,” he says, tilting his head in that direction, and you’re pretty sure a glint of understanding lights up in his eyes.
“Can I….?”
He nods, a grin on his lips, and now you’re sure he knows why you’re here. You don’t wait for him to tease you about it, quick to make your way past him.
You freeze the second you walk into the backroom, though. It’s not just because of Jin’s back, though that definitely has more of an effect on you than you’d like to admit — the broad shoulders, the muscular back, and inexplicably, the nape of his neck. It’s also because of the large bouquet of red roses, standing in a vase on the table next to him. Your breath catches in your throat as you look at them. They look beautiful, vibrant, their fragrance floating through the room, all the way to you.
“Who are the roses for?” you ask, making Jin jump.
Any other time, you would have been pleased to take him by surprise for once, but right now you’re hanging on his words, waiting for an answer. The air feels heavy between you, and it doesn’t help that he doesn’t answer immediately, swallowing silently as his eyes travel over your body. You had almost forgotten about the dress you were wearing, and, instead of making you feel comfortable and confident, like it had earlier, you feel naked and vulnerable under his gaze.
Finally, his eyes meet yours, mouth slightly open, and by that point your heart is hammering in your chest. You wonder if he has any idea of how you’re feeling right now. Had he noticed your feelings when even you weren’t aware of them?
“What?” he croaks, voice dry, like he’s forgotten what you said.
“The roses,” you repeat. “Who are they for?”
You need an answer. Desperately.
Jin’s eyes move to the roses, and his face falls. He turns his back to you again as he goes back to whatever he’s cleaning.
“Didn’t you have a date tonight?”
You shrug, though he can’t see it.
“I broke things off with him,” you say lightly, and you don’t miss the way his movements pause, or the way his shoulders tighten, for half a second, before he keeps moving. “Are you— are you meeting someone?”
“No,” he protests immediately. “You know I don’t believe in Valentine’s day.”
You do. You remember that. So you wait for an explanation. It takes a while, and you just wait silently behind him, suspecting that he’s waiting for you to go away. After a few minutes, though, he slams his hand on the table, still not looking at you.
“They’re for you, okay? You said you’d always wanted roses for Valentine’s Day, and I figured, maybe your stupid boyfriend didn’t know that yet, and that I could maybe just drop them off at your place, and—”
“You didn’t ask me why I broke up with him,” you interrupt him, cutting his rambling short, and he falls silent. You catch his eyes from over his shoulder. Finally, you’re feeling yourself calm down, and at the same time you’re practically shaking with anticipation. “I realized I had feelings for someone else,” you say when he still doesn’t ask, just watching you, lips tight.
“…You do?” he simply says in reply. He’s tense, guarded, and you take a careful step towards him.
“Yeah,” you nod. Your eyes aren’t leaving his, not even for a second. “He’s smart, and kind, and handsome.” You take a step for each description you give, and you can’t help but smile on the last word. But your smile doesn’t reach Jin’s lips, and he’s just looking at you like he’s expecting you to tell him someone else’s name, or to make fun of him. “And he makes me laugh,” you add quietly, as you get to him, leaning against the table. “A lot. Some have even said it was a little too much.”
“So who is he?” he asks, and you smile. It’s wild to you that you haven’t understood earlier how absolutely head over heels in love with him you are, especially right now, when you’re standing so close to him. It’s also wild that he can’t see it, because you feel as though you’re radiating with that emotion, feel that anyone should be able to tell.
“It’s you,” you breathe out. “It’s obviously you.”
Then you’re pushing yourself up against his mouth, soft and slow. One of his hands closes around your waist as he leans forward, towering over you. His eyes are shut, and you close your own, reveling in the feeling of his warm body pressed against your own. You feel his tongue darting out to brush against your lips, and they part to grant him access, eager to taste all of him and—
“Couldn’t you tell me that earlier?” Jin protests loudly, tearing himself away from you, and your eyes snap open. “I would have planned the best Valentine’s Day you’ve ever—”
You groan and cut him off with another kiss, faster and harder this time, grabbing his wrists to guide his hands to your hips. You moan in contentment into his mouth when he kisses you back and he swallows it eagerly, pressing you into the table, bodies meeting like they’ve been waiting for it for forever and you—
“I wanted to make you an amazing strawberry cake! Now I don’t have any strawberries left!”
“Jin, please,” you sigh, unable to tolerate any other interruption, “would you just shut up and kiss me?”
And, finally, he does. Holds you like he never wants to let you go, kisses you like there’s no tomorrow, and when the two of you part, he rests his forehead against yours like he can’t bear the thought of being away from you even for a second. The silent stretches, comfortable, only filled with your respirations, until someone clears their throat, and the two of you jump away from each other.
“Sorry,”Jungkook says with a shit-eating grin that tells you he’s not sorry at all, “but I was about to leave. Will the two of you be okay?”
“I’m sure we can work things out without you,” Jin says. “Goodbye!”
But Jungkook doesn’t leave right away, turning his smile to you. You would hide into Jin’s shoulder, but you feel so good you can’t be bothered right now.
“Goodbye (Y/N)!”
“Bye, Jungkook!”
“That kid, I swear,” Jin says, shaking his head, as Jungkook leaves, his laugh hanging in the air behind him for a few seconds.
“I quite like him,” you comment, fingers dancing down Jin’s neck to come trace the border of his shirt.
“Oh, you do?” There is a dangerous edge to his tone and you glance up, surprised.
“Are you jealous?” you ask. “I didn’t know you were the jealous type.”
“I’m not.”
“Because it’s not Jungkook I abandoned my date for.”
“Good that you did. I never liked him.”
“So you are jealous.”
Seokjin mumbles something incomprehensible and you laugh and hug him tighter. And when he asks you if you want to come upstairs, even if he doesn’t have the perfect Valentine’s Day dinner planned, even if really, all he has to offer is himself, you tell him yes, of course.
Because he’s all you want right now.
Tumblr media
It turns out, you wouldn’t have eaten the dinner anyway. The second the door closes behind you, you’re pulling him down against you for a kiss, and he doesn’t oppose any resistance, doesn’t protest like he did before, just lets out a moan into your mouth. He’s just as eager as you are to get rid of that tight dress.
“Careful with the tights,” you warn when his hands start roaming your thighs.
“Take them off then,” he groans.
You press a few kisses against his mouth, feeling delighted with the way he restrains himself, hands turning into fists against your hips as he stops himself from tearing off your closes. Finally, you pull away with a giggle. His eyes are wide and dark with desire, and they only get wider when you playfully slide off your dress’ strap.
“Don’t tease,” he says, practically growls, but you decide that you will. You guide him to his couch, push him down onto it, and evade him when he tries to pull you down with him, slipping out of his grasp. You stand just out of his reach, but more than close enough to be tantalizing, and you see in his eyes that it’s working just fine.
You take the time of making a show out of sliding down your dress down your body, letting it pool down at your feet before stepping out of it. The heels are the next thing to go, and then, finally, the offending tights. The second you’re out of those, Seokjin pounces, grabbing your hips and pulling you onto the couch.
“If you want us to move this to the bedroom, now would be a good time to say it,” he says as he kisses your neck, hands traveling up and down your body, large and calloused, but kind and gentle.
“I’m good here,” you say, arching your back to grant him better access — and to roll your hips against him. “Are you good here?”
You feel his breath catching in his throat when you move, as well as something hard pressing against you in his pants, and his voice is slightly choked when he answers.
“Yeah. This would happen at some point anyway.”
You laugh. You can’t wait to try this in all the places the two of you can think of in his apartment.
“Then let’s get to it, shall we?”
Jin doesn’t seem to have anything to answer to that, especially not when you hook your leg around his, using your heel to push him down on top of you. He’s still dressed, but you plan on rectifying that. You stop kissing him to work on the buttons of his shirt, and he lets you, breathing heavily. Your fingers explore the skin you reveal in the process, and you’re delighted when he shivers as you find out where his sensitive spots are — right under his collarbone, his nipples, his ribs.
Finally, the shirt joins your dress on the floor. You take a second to marvel at his body. His shoulders are even nicer to look at like that, you decide. You capture Jin’s mouth again, this time with your hands fisting his hair. You’re feeling yourself growing more impatient, wetter, and while your panties are the only thing still covering your body, he’s still wearing pants — which is far too much clothing.
“I want you so bad,” you whisper to him, and his breath catches in his throat.
“Fuck. You have no idea what you’re doing to me.”
That makes you grin, and you arch your back into him again, pressing yourself against his now rock hard crotch.
“Oh, I think I do,” you reply devilishly, and all Jin does is to bury his head into your neck. His fast breathing tickles your skin, and you love it. You love discovering that you have that effect on him, love how you can make him come undone. Another night, you might really, really enjoy teasing him about it, but you have something else on your mind tonight.
Your hand travels down his body to palm him through his pants, and he groans, bucking his hips against it involuntarily.
“Let me take care of that?” you offer, and he pulls away to raise an eyebrow at you.
Wordlessly, you guide him so he’s sitting on the couch, and then, without breaking eye contact, you drop to your knees. You watch as his eyes go wide and he swallows loudly. You don’t give him time to regain his composure, gently nudging his legs apart so you can place yourself there comfortably.
“Fuck,” he repeats as your hands travel over his thighs before unbuckling his belt.
He lifts himself off the couch so you can slide down his pants and underwear, and that leaves him in his naked glory. And boy, is he glorious, dick standing erect and proud, precum already dripping from the tip. You suppose it’s been a while since the last time he had any sort of intercourse, and so you decide that you will do everything that’s in your power to make it worth his while.
You do your best to maintain eye contact with him while you lean forward to gently take in the head of his cock, wrapping your red lips around it as your hand grips the base.
“Ah,” he gasps, and you wonder if he gets loud during sex.
You hope he does.
You mostly tease him at first, running your tongue over the tip, and you feel his hand grabbing the back of your head gently. He doesn’t try to control your pace or to push you down. He seems to just be anchoring himself as he lets you do whatever you want. Glancing up, you see that he’s thrown his head back and his mouth is hanging open, letting out quiet moans that sometimes get high-pitched.
For some reason, the sight of his exposed throat turns you on impossibly. You slide a hand down your body to try to get some relief as well, and you moan loudly when your fingers finally find your clit. The vibrations have Jin push his hips up as his hands tighten on you. A second later, his eyes snap open.
“Shit, I’m sorry, I—”
“It’s fine,” you reassure him, “I don’t mind but— Do you have a condom somewhere?”
He hesitates, then reaches for the coffee table. He opens the drawer, rummages through it quickly, and finds what he’s looking for.
“Taehyung said it was good to have them all over the house, just in case,” he feels obligated to explain to you, even while he struggles to open it and to put it on.
Well, you owe Taehyung one, you decide, but now really is not the time to discuss that, so you pull him down for quick kiss before he can lose himself in his ramble.
“Want you now,” you tell him, and it sounds like an order.
“Yes ma’am,” he mumbles, pulling you back up onto the couch.
Your panties are soon gone, and he spreads your legs open with utmost care. Even if you’re pretty sure he could just slide right in, with how wet you are, he pushes a long finger inside you, then another.
“You’re so wet for me,” he marvels. “So wet, and I haven’t even touched you.”
“Don’t flatter yourself too much yet,” you moan. “There’s still work to be done here.”
His eyes are full of love when he looks at you, taking in your body, now completely naked and offered. Just for him.
“Oh, I’ll do it. Don’t you worry about that.”
You’re about to call him out for his cockiness when he lines his cock with your entrance, tip rubbing against your folds, and you close your mouth instead, wisely choosing not to provoke him when he could so easily make you pay for it by making you wait. Except it seems he’s just as impatient as you, because he pushes himself inside you without pause.
You moan and shift to accommodate the stretch, and Seokjin goes still on top of you.
“Are you okay?” he asks. You’re satisfied with the strain in his voice, like knowing you’re not the only one to be so affected here.
“Hmm,” you hum. “Can you— move? A little?”
He pulls out a little, experimentally, and you moan louder than before. It takes you a few minutes to figure out the pace, as your hips keep moving, desperately searching for more friction, but they’re not unpleasant, filled with kisses, sweet nothings and the feeling of his warm skin against yours. In those moments, you feel like you’re discovering him all over again, and you find yourself enjoying that more than you can say.
Finally, you find yourselves, and the sound of skin against skin fills the room, along with your loud, high-pitches moans, and Seokjin’s — softer, quieter, but definitely there. You meet each of his thrusts, with one hand between the two of you to rub against your clit. When you first clench around him, he finally lets out a moan that’s as loud as yours.
“Fuck, fuck, fffuck,” he says, head falling against you, cheek pressed against your collarbone. “If you— If you do that again I’ll— Wait, please, wait, wanna— wanna cum with you—”
You arch your back, your nipples grazing against his chest, and force up the pace of your hips. Jin is moving incoherently, begging into your neck, and you want to give him exactly what he’s asking for. When you clench around him again, it’s with your orgasm. It’s all it takes to push him over the edge as well, but you barely feel his hips stutter into you, completely taken over by your own pleasure.
It takes you a little while to come back down from your high, and when you do, you meet his eyes. They’re soft and gentle, and, more than anything that’s happened until then, they make you melt.
“Hey,” he whispers, “you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, more than okay, in fact. You?”
“More than okay, too,” he says as a lazy smile spreads across his features.
“Good. That’s good.”
Pillow talk is not your forte.
“Hey,” Jin says, coming to rest his forehead against your shoulder.
“Hmm?”
“I think I’m in love with you.”
You chuckle.
“I think I’m in love with you too.”
“That’s good,” Jin says, but his voice sounds choked up, raspy, and you know he’s probably blushing. So you don’t add anything, just run your fingers over his scalp, the nape of his neck, down his back. Let him know you’re here, that you’ve got him, that you’re not going anywhere.
“Are you— are you staying the night?” he asks.
“Sure, unless you’re kicking me out.”
His arms tighten around you possessively.
“I would never.”
It takes a little longer before Jin manages to get the two of you off the couch to go get cleaned up, and then into bed, but of that night, there is not a second that you would call unnecessary or superfluous. Not one.
Every single one of them, every moment you spend with Jin on that first night, are essential, and you could not pick one of them to take back.
March 14th
The bell chimes happily when you walk into the shop, and even though Jin is busy with another customer, his eyes immediately find you. It’s something simple, yet it’s something you love about him. The way he always seems to find you, and the pleasant warmth that fills you without fail when you see him. You’ve been told that it was just the high of the first months of a relationship, not to get too used to it but you hope that, even if it dims, it won’t go away completely.
“Hey, Jin, your ears are turning really red. Why are your ears turning red?”
You laugh while your boyfriend turns to shoot a furious look at Yoongi. He’s sitting in your spot, in the back of the shop, and he’s looking smug. That comment of his has become a pretty common thing to hear whenever you walk in, or just when Jin and you are speaking. To be completely honest, you’re not too mad about it. Jin is good at acting like you have no effect on him, but the blush betrays him, and it’s been both cute and useful to see what actually gets to him, or bothers him sometimes.
“I’ll kick you out of my shop if you keep that up!” Jin shouts at him. “Don’t think I won’t!”
But Yoongi just chuckles into his mug, clearly not taking him seriously — and he’s probably right for that.
“So, do you know what today is?” Jin asks nonchalantly after he’s turned back to face you, gesturing for Jungkook take over with the other customer.
Your eyes widen in horror.
“Please don’t tell me you want us to celebrate our one month anniversary. I haven’t planned anything for that.”
Jin rolls his eyes.
“I would argue that our one-month anniversary is tomorrow, if we’re being precise, because that’s when we, um, really talked about it.”
He’s not wrong. It had been a pleasant thing, to wake up in his arms the morning after, to the sensation of his lips gently kissing your neck, and an even nicer thing to take your breakfast with him. You couldn’t pinpoint why exactly. It had just been what had absolutely and irrevocably sealed the  deal for you. You knew it hadn’t been a mistake. You wanted to be with him.
“Hmm, but there is still some sort of anniversary to be celebrated tonight then,” you say, leaning over the counter. “I’m sure I could prepare something for that.”
His ears and neck flush, and Yoongi has the delicacy of not pointing it out this time.
“That’s not— That’s not what I’m talking about! Today is the white day.”
You raise an eyebrow.
“That’s when boys are supposed to give chocolates back to the girls they like,” Jin elaborates.
“But I didn’t give you chocolates,” you say.
“No, but you’re still the one who— Yoongi, I swear to God— You know. You’re the one who took the first step.”
Despite his recent outburst, it’s obvious that he feels embarrassed and vulnerable in that moment. You’d kind of gathered that he really regretted not asking you out before Sungho had, but you had never thought that it was actually an issue.
“I’m really happy I did,” you tell him quietly. He’s not fond of PDA, but you still allow your fingers to brush against his. That feels discreet enough.
“I know,” he says, and there’s so much love in his eyes when he looks at you that it’s a real miracle that you don’t melt into a puddle right then and there. “But I still—” He sighs. “You’re really ruining my plans. This was meant to go over smoothly.”
“Sorry,” you apologize with a wide grin while he picks something up from behind the counter.
“There,” he mumbles, handing you the box.
You open it, genuinely curious. You feel the eyes of everyone else in the shop — Yoongi, Namjoon, Jungkook and, of course, Jin — on you, and you want to tell most of them off, but you suppose that since this is where most of your relationship development happened, they’re kind of part of the story too.
The box is filled with chocolates shaped like roses.
“I know it’s not much,” Jin is quick to say, “but I just wanted to—”
“Jin?” you interrupt him.
“Y-yeah?”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
His eyes go wide, and then he sighs, but he can’t force away the smile that’s forcefully making its way on his lips.
“Well, if you absolutely have to—”
But he doesn’t protest when you pull him over the counter to kiss him, hands gently closing over your shoulders. He even brings you back for a second, even briefer kiss, and there’s something fierce in his eyes then. He superbly ignores the cheers that come from your friends in the room.
“I have to warn you, you’re never getting rid of me now,” he says, and it’s light-hearted, but you know there’s a lot of truth behind those words.
“Good,” you simply reply. “I wouldn’t want that for the world.”
He looks like he wants to add something to that, but he chokes on the words, and he falls quiet instead. It’s just as good, really.
There are some things you don’t need words for.
Some things that can be expressed just as easily with a box full of rose-shaped chocolates.
1K notes · View notes
djarinsbeskar · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
EXPLORATION ARC: PART 3 - CRASH LANDINGS
A/N: I think I’ve read and re-read this part so many times that I’m not sure I’m fully happy with it anymore. However! I do hope you can all enjoy the latest instalment, with our lovely Din (finally) getting some well earned attention.
Pairing: Din Djarin/Fem!Reader
Word Count: 14.4k (I have no self control I’m sorry if it drags on)
Rating: 18+ (NO Minors)
Warnings: language, (some) dirty talk, SMUT! - oral (m receiving including deepthroating and gagging), handjobs, fingering, Din being slightly awkward before embracing his dom side
Summary: It’s mighty hard to distract yourself from your mysterious and alluring shipmate, so why bother?
AO3 | Stitches Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Tumblr media
You could say with some confidence that most times in your life, you had smooth landings.
A small swell in your stomach as a ship glided down into atmosphere. The gentle, paced approach of land or sea, of mountains, forests and cities materializing as you descended. The gradual growth of buildings, speeders and individuals from pinpricks into distinguishable features of the landscape. A smooth landing was like sliding into a warm bath, where you only realized how good the water felt when it was lapping around your ears and soothing away the aches of a bad day; the touch down of a ship letting you bask in being on solid ground once more.
Sometimes, you admit, there were rough landings.
Your heart hammering in the back of your throat while you desperately tried to smother the creeping nervousness with every bump of turbulence or rattle of a ships’ engine. The rapidly approaching planet being anything but a welcome sight; the hollow, raw sensitivity to every noise both inside the ship and out suspending you in time before the worst passed. Rough landings to you, were like rolling down a hill as a child from a grassy knoll, the incline of which – to an adult – was nothing more than a slight slope. Chaotic in the movement as your head became dizzy from spinning, but once laying on your back and laughing breathlessly up at wispy clouds, you realized it wasn’t so very bad after all. The same could be said when a ships mechanical functions and sensors righted themselves through automation or a talented pilots guide to land… not so very bad in hindsight.
And then there were crash landings… rare but staggering in the impression they left.
Moments where you weren’t sure if you were hyperventilating or holding your breath, if up was down and if the ship you flew was evening functioning beyond alloying gravity to pull it mercilessly towards wreckage and death. Total clarity and yet, an inability to focus on any one thing as the rapid descent fogged any ability to see the ground coming hard and fast. The shrill alarms and warning lights ceaselessly reminding you of how fucked you really were. The adrenaline it inspired – having nowhere to go – could make you giddy and exhilarated despite the danger. In your life, the feeling of a crash landing couldn’t be compared to the physical; they were the sinking realization of someone falling out of love with you, of the betrayal from a loyal friend, the abandonment of a lifelong support. They were the serendipity of a chance meeting, the recognition of a hidden talent and the reciprocation of long held feelings. Crash landings were all the times you had ever been blindsided and helpless to prevent them: an embodied vulnerability.
The day you landed on Nevarro was a crash landing in more ways than one.
One being the literal – survived by the seat of your pants – landing that had you questioning Mando’s ethnicity beneath the helmet. Was he from Corellia? Or Maker-forbid, Pamarthe? Because there was simply no way, no way, that he managed to pull off that landing with one engine blown and a fleet of pirates on his tail. But he did, and you were all alive because of it. He guided the Razor Crest like it was an extension of himself, completely in control of every movement and never anything but calm as he did so.
For as long as you had known the Mandalorian, he had owned the fossil that was the Razor Crest, and now you could see why. You wanted to weep and apologise to her for every stray thought you had about how old and outdated she was. You knew a brand new gunship that people paid obscene amounts of credits for wouldn’t have survived the same strain the Razor Crest was just put under.
You had come to think of the two – Mando and the Razor Crest – as mirrors of each other; intimidating, ageless and well able to endure more than a ship – or a human body – was naturally capable of. It endeared you to both of them more than you already were.
The other proverbial crash landing you experienced that day, was the incident that preceded your less than desirable entry onto the Nevarro; the one that stripped away all pretense and ignorance that had strained your relationship with Mando in the weeks prior.
After hastily grabbing the child from his pod and staggering back up the ladder one handed as the ship shook violently to strap you both into the co-pilot chair, you didn’t have the presence of mind to notice the heavy scent still permeating the cockpit, or the slightly uncomfortable feeling of your release drying on your thighs. You couldn’t even begin to wrap your mind around the fact that Mando, that stubborn, stoic, recklessly unattainable man you had spent years patching up over and over again, had gotten you off with just his thigh and a few well placed rolls of his hips.
You were too busy trying not to panic at the prospect of dying or being captured which really, would just be your rotten luck after finally seeing the immovable control the Mandalorian exerted, waver. You were distracted from those thoughts right up to the point where the rough rasp of Mando’s voice as the pirates engaged with the Razor Crest’s commlink made your prior activities glaringly obvious. His voice, still thick and heavy with his unfulfilled released gradually morphed into a cold anger as he shut off the connection when the pirates’ demanded payment for your lives.
Of the things you came to realize about Mando since travelling with him, one of the few that surprised you was his refusal to negotiate with nearly everyone he encountered. It gave the small allowances he made when you treated him – and the many he gave the kid most days – a lot more weight. But you didn’t have time to think about that as he dodged shot after shot.
Your landing on Nevarro was a combination of whiplash, soot and precarious rocking before the Razor Crest skidded to a final, jarring stop a few meters away from the closest ship docked outside the main town entrance. Only when the ship stayed upright instead of bowling over from the momentum did you allow yourself to breathe again, grounding yourself back in the cockpit despite your stomach being left somewhere in space.
The return of your breathing and the realization that you had in fact survived, allowed the reality of what happened before to slam to the forefront of your mind.
You dry humped a Mandalorian. The Mandalorian. Him. Mando.
Like a kitten in heat… the echo of his words had heat instantly returning to your face at the memory. You remained flushed even as you attempted to distract yourself by running an unnecessary mental check on your body for injury. Apart from a small ache growing in your head from the whiplash, you were good as new. Too good if you were being honest, and the reason for that was hardly a mystery.
You ran your eyes over the child, smoothing a hand soothingly over his wrinkled head and along one of his ears to make sure he wasn’t hurt, cooing at him gently as he nuzzled back against your chest with a string of sleepy babble. He was more concerned with being woken up than the manner of your landing apparently,
“I know darling, I’m sorry I woke you,” you muttered against his head, the sheer relief that he was out of danger roiling in your stomach and made you close your eyes as his familiar scent invaded your nose while he settled back down to sleep.
As he settled, the cockpit swelled with a heavy silence, reality catching up with you both now that the distraction of pirates and possible death was gone.
The red warning lights and occasional alarm were flicked off one by one with every resounding click of a button. When you first entered the cockpit earlier that day, you struggled to keep your eyes off him and now, now your eyes focused on anything but the man who had groaned your name so sinfully. Those clicks and snaps of levers and buttons – while quiet – were the only sounds that filled the air, enhancing the silence you sat in.
Mando was tenser than before, his shoulders stiff and movements more forceful than necessary as he geared the ship down. A malicious thought surfaced momentarily that he might be regretting what happened already.
You rolled your eyes at yourself, recognizing the ridiculousness of the notion immediately; you had just spent several heart-stopping minutes being chased and shot at and only landed mere moments ago. Of course he was tense. Stars, your muscles had yet to relax from the anxiety inducing minutes before Mando finally out maneuvered them with an unfazed countenance.
But heightened emotions and the insecurities they could bring with them weren’t uncommon after an orgasm. You merely tried to keep the more ridiculous ones at bay, a benefit of maturity and age you appreciated. It allowed you to have had your fair share of purely physical relationships; one night stands and friends with benefits over the years. It wasn’t in you to get overly attached to a sexual partner after the uncertainty of the war. You were certain Mando would be no different. You appreciated sex for what it was; a release, a coping mechanism or simply just something fun to do.
Mando’s arm reached across the small distance in front of you, one final switch and silence reigned once more. He hesitated as he withdrew his hand, resting it heavily on the dash and his helmet turned marginally to look at you, your eyes instantly lifting to the visor. You cursed the damn shiny thing silently; you had never felt the lack of expressions, or small facial tells that might have given you an indication of how he was feeling more than now. The feeling of his gaze didn’t however stop the pang of arousal reawakening after being doused so suddenly before; it simmered low in your stomach now as he watched you.
Your eyes searched his visor, hopefully conveying – if nothing else – that you didn’t regret anything. A soft quirk to your lips and he released a long breath, hanging his head slightly before pushing back up to his seat. Your smile increased subconsciously; he seemed exasperated, not ashamed and that would have to be good enough for you.
It didn’t take long for the silence to turn more comfortable after that, more familiar as he stood from his seat to make his way past you, cape brushing your arm as he did so. He hesitated at the door, considering something before he left. When he evidently came to a conclusion, he turned back to look down at you, forearm resting above his head on the doorframe as he did so,
“I’ll be gone a few hours. The Guild will be by to pick up the quarries so…” he trailed off and you waited expectantly for what he was trying to tell you, “get some fresh air. We’re leaving as soon as I pick up the next batch of pucks.”
You craned your neck to keep your eyes on him and the sudden déjà vu of looking up at him wasn’t lost on either of you as a sharp exhale left the warrior. You nodded a few times to his suggestion, mulling over anything that was low or might need restocking, mind running a klick a minute before an idea sparked in your mind, making you sit up straighter in excitement,
“Mando? Is there an automated banking center here?”
Your question seemed to throw him because he didn’t answer immediately, mind more pleasantly distracted by your appearance,
“Why?” was his only response in the end.
“I want credits, that’s why,” you rolled your eyes in playful exasperation as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, which it was. Why else would you go to a bank?
“The New Republic pay a pension for anyone who served in the Rebellion. It gets fed into an account that can be accessed from most galactic banking centers,” you explained, excited by the possibility of actually having your own credits and being able to contribute rather than living off the credits Mando earned from his bounty hunting.
“Oh,” came the lackluster response, “I don’t know. I’ve never used one before,” he finished simply, dropping his arm from the doorframe and turning to make his way down into the hold without another word.
You deflated a bit in your seat before perking up. No. ‘I don’t know’ wasn’t a negative answer, just an unhelpful one. You chuckled quietly so as not to disturb the child sleeping again you, he was still no better at talking than when you first met him. Perhaps it was simply a case of not being able to teach an old Massiff new tricks. Funnily enough, you didn’t think he needed to. You were adapting well enough to his silence as it was.
You could find out for yourself. You were dying to get off the ship and it was the perfect excuse to explore a new town for the precious few hours you had planet-side, a chance to stretch your legs and get some much needed fresh air. It was also a much better alternative to sitting on the ship and replaying the last few hours in your head, working yourself up over a husky voice and a hard body.
No, that would just drive you mad.
Since he left the cockpit, some of the heat left with him and you were able to lean back and take a long, deep breath. Fuck… but he was still able to get to you without even trying, you admitted yourself as you closed your eyes. You didn’t even have the chance to touch him beyond that momentary glance against the smooth, burning length of him. You never believed in karma before, but you must have done something truly rotten to have been stopped from touching that man.
A warmth filled you at the thought of how good he felt under you; the promise of more taken away before either of you had a moment to think. You felt wrecked from the orgasm he gave you and that hadn’t even required the removal of clothing, let alone his hands or cock.
But he hadn’t finished.
Your brows furrowed at the thought, along with a small swell of guilt in your stomach. You considered yourself to be a generous lover and wouldn’t cheapen the sentiment of wanting him to feel satisfied by thinking you owed it to him. You wanted to make him feel good, knowing the bliss someone else could give you was infinitely better than one’s own hand. You wanted to preen with the knowledge that you could bring this man, this immovable force to his knees in ecstasy.
You wanted to make him feel that good now, not later.
Steeling your nerves, you gracelessly wrestled yourself out of your seatbelt, hindered by the loss of one arm that supported the child. Finally free, you followed the same path the Mandalorian took down the ladder (equally as inelegant but climbing a ladder was awkward with two hands let alone one so you forgave yourself). You hurried over to the child’s over-pram and, once he was tucked in and the pram itself closed, turned to where you had glanced Mando preparing to leave.
He was adjusting something on his vambraces’ control panel, so he hadn’t acknowledged your presence yet, but when he picked up the control that opened the ramp down, you opened your mouth,
“Mando!” you called just before he lowered the ramp onto the lava flats that made up the improvised spaceport on Nevarro.
Your voice stopped him in his tracks, and he turned his head slightly to indicate you had his attention.
Your feet were moving before you knew it, rounding in front of the warrior and removing the push-button control that hung from the wall of the Razor Crest; obviously, a temporary fix that had become a permanent solution. The remote fell easily from his grip when your fingers caressed the back of the hand that held it, your gaze never leaving where you hoped his was behind the visor.
You kept your hand on his as he lowered it down to his side, enjoying the tactile sensation of the buttery leather of his gloved fingers as they netted across your own before you pulled your hand away just far enough to trace along the duraweave at his hip and across the softer, more flexible ribbed armor on his abdomen.
“I—need to check the damage to the ship,” he rasped quietly after the control clattered loudly back against the wall it was attached to, no bite in his words as you stepped into his personal space. As expected, he didn’t move, your eyes searching for any indication of discomfort in his body language and – finding none – drifted down his body appreciatively, a knowing smile dancing across your lips.
“Gotta… collect the payment for---” he trailed off when your fingers returned to where they had been before you had been interrupted in the cockpit. His words petered off on a low exhale and you hummed in approval when you felt he was still half-hard under his flight suit.
“I don’t just take, Mando,” you said quietly so as not to break the little bubble you found yourself in with the Mandalorian. You were almost gentle in your cadence, as if anything louder would spook the intimidating man. Something inside you told you that his acceptance of your touch was no insignificant thing, not to him. You couldn’t pinpoint the reason, whether it was his devotion to his Creed he mentioned or some other personal reasons. Whatever it was, you didn’t take the liberties he afforded you lightly.
You wanted to make him forget his reservations, completely.
Your fingers easily undid the fly at his crotch and fit inside to wrap around the thick girth of his rapidly hardening length. Your stomach flipped at the sheer size of him, making you swallow while Mando braced his forearm on the wall behind you, folding over you slightly from his greater height. The deep sigh he released, a shuddering sound of relief and pleasure spread electricity across you, your body instantly reacting to the guttural sound instinctively. You gave his cock an experimental squeeze as you pulled him out from his flight suit in the hopes of hearing that noise again.
But Maker, your mouth watered when you finally tore your eyes from his helmet to his exposed length.
Rich, tan skin stretched taut across the thick length of his cock as it sat heavy in your grip, a shade darker than the skin you had seen while treating him before. Pearly precum was already beading from the blunt, swollen tip and your thumb automatically swiped through it to spread over the head. You reveled in the low moan you heard in your ear as Mando’s head dropped forward to rest on your shoulder, a shaky inhale making his shoulders shudder.
“It’s okay?” you whispered, needing to be certain. The immediate nod against your shoulder settled the last of your reservations and you gave him a long stroke in return. You wondered briefly if the dryness of your hand was uncomfortable so, releasing his cock briefly, you spat on your palm before wrapping it back around the base and started stroking him steadily.
“Fuck…” his voice was barely above a whisper, his cock heavy and rigid in your fist that barely managed to close around him as you squeezed him firmly.
Stars, he felt divine. All hard ridges covered in velvet skin, a hot pulsing weight in your hand that made you chew on your lip as you imagined the size and weight of him on your tongue or the sweet sting of him stretching your cunt around him. He was bigger than you had had before, and you knew you would probably feel him for days afterwards.
He twitched under your grip, but apart from the occasional shiver and low groan in your ear, he allowed your hand to explore and learn this part of him at your own pace. Your free hand skirted down his side to gently draw his tight balls out too and when you massaged them in your palm, you received a gravelly moan in your ear. It was followed by a heady rasp in that language you still couldn’t place; the sound of it running down your spine pleasantly and making your body react viscerally, your nipples peaked and sensitive against the material of your chest band and wetness soaking your underwear again.
His shoulders sagged as the tension began to bleed from his body, his helmet turning on your shoulder to watch your hand stroking his cock rhythmically.
You were throbbing with renewed arousal from just the feel of velvety steel in your hand and from hearing those low, gravelly sounds you had been thinking about for weeks. Nothing you had fabricated in your mind came close to the reality; deep and rich, they rumbled through his whole body until you could feel their echoes in your own.
Twisting your wrist on an upward stroke, his hips snapped forward and a groan left him. His free hand unexpectedly lifted to grasp the side of your neck, his staunch control wavering. His fingers spread around easily to tangle in the hair at the base of your neck to anchor himself and you had to bite down on your lip hard to keep from moaning at the sound of him panting your name in your ear. Your eyes fluttered closed when he tightened his fingers, holding your head in pace as you increased your pace to match his hips, random twists of your wrist making him curse and groan your name desperately.
“Fuck… kitten, don’t--- fuck, don’t stop,” he panted against the side of your head, the words interspersed with quiet moans as his control continued to bend, his hips thrusting shallowly into your hand as he chased the release that he had been denied earlier. You tightened your grip and it made him practically shake with pleasure. You were only using the weeping precum leaking from his head to smooth your hand along his length but Mando didn’t seem to mind the dry friction that tethered on discomfort. He seemed to like the added sensation that made his cock throb and his mind cloud with a primal desire to fuck.
“You feel so good, Mando…” your own voice was nothing short of a moan itself, heat gathering at your core and reminding you of how empty your pussy was. But you wanted to finish him first, to bring him to the height of pleasure like he deserved before you considered your own release again. The next time you got off, you wanted to feel him completely overwhelm your body with his own, whether that was with his cock or his fingers or hell, even his thigh again. Whatever he would give you.
You massaged his sensitive head at the thought, your cunt clenching. His fingers flexed in your hair, tugging on the strands and pulling a soft gasp from your lips as he lifted his head enough for the cool beskar to press against your forehead. Your eyes flickered frantically across the visor, the strength of his fingers tangling in your hair making your lips part,
“Fuck, you want more already, don’t you?” he growled with a hitch in his labored breathing when your thumb circled the head of his cock again. You didn’t try to hide the way he was making you feel, there was no point with the desire written plainly on your face.
Drunk on the heady, heavy scent of arousal that filled the hold, you nodded desperately to his question and released his balls to run your hand along the perfectly polished beskar on his chest, the warrior shuddering as if he could actually feel you through the armor,
“I want you…” you purred against his helmet before sinking your teeth into your bottom lip when he groaned.
His hand loosened in your hair, fanning up over your cheek and across the edge of your jaw before he cupped it roughly. His thumb swiped across your bottom lip to release it from the hold your teeth had it in. He repeated the motion, slower this time to savor the pillowy softness of the flesh before pressing his thumb into your willing mouth, the fingers he had around your jaw tightening to encourage your mouth to open for him.
You accepted the supple leather eagerly, letting it rest on the flat of your tongue before you closed your lips around it, the stagger in his shallow thrusts and the sharp, distorted exhale through his modulator telling you just how affected he was.
You moaned around his thumb when he pushed it deeper into the warm cavern of your mouth, letting your tongue circle it before sucking on it hard, showing him exactly what you were imagining doing to his cock and eyes still trained on the black shine of his visor. Your mind was filled with the sounds of his raspy groans and the quick drag of your fingers of the soft skin of his cock. You matched the pace of your hand as you sucked on his thumb and when he pressed closer to you, caging you against the wall, you arched against him and keened under his movements.
“You’re fucking filthy, aren’t you?” he muttered breathlessly and slightly awed, as if he had come across something so unexpectedly amazing when he hadn’t even been looking, “you wan---”
He was cut off as his commlink came to life.
“Mando! You ever going to come out? What’s taking so long?” the crackled, disembodied voice sounded from his vambrace, your eyes widening slightly before you deviously picked up the speed with which you stroked him.
Mando hissed, his helmet falling back on his shoulders at the pleasure that set every nerve in his body alight. He pulled his thumb from your mouth but kept his grip on your jaw firm,
“Dangerous game you’re playing, kitten,” he panted, his voice strained as you felt him twitch and grow harder in your grip if it was possible, the thrill of danger you both felt at someone else’s presence turning you both on more than you anticipated.
You ignored his words and watched him from under heavy lashes with a cheeky glint in your eye, “Aren’t you going to answer that?” your question was saccharine sweet, as if you didn’t have your hand wrapped around his thick cock.
Playing Mando at his own game – challenging him – might have been a stupid move, but he had you riding his thigh that very day and now you wanted to even out the playing field. You ached a brow when he didn’t respond, your hand slowing to a stop on his cock even as his fingers dug into your jaw. With a vicious snarl in his own language, you knew you had him beat and started stroking him again as a reward.
“You’ll regret this,” he promised darkly when he released your face to press the connection link on his vambrace currently braced against the wall above your head,
“Looking after the kid, won’t be---” his head snapped down when you sank to your knees now that you were free from his hold, eyes sparking with mischief while you tried to smother the smile that turned your lips up when you looked up at him,
“Don’t you dare,” Mando hissed down at you, even as his head feel forward against his arm when your tongue flicked out to glance across the tip of his cock, a choked moan caught in his throat.
“Dare? Dare what?” Confusion was evident in the booming yet jovial voice on the other end of the link.
“N-nothing Karga. The kid…. The kid is just somewhere he shouldn’t be,” he directed the emphasis down at you as you lapped around his head teasingly, giving him a taste of the soft, wet heat of your tongue and only a taste.
“Ah! Bring him out! I’ve missed the little womprat.”
“Just give me----”
Mando cut the connection off on a loud moan as your lips suddenly engulfed the head of his cock, your own moan at the salty precum on your tongue making you salivate and lap up every drop. Maker, he was big. You circled the head with your tongue a few times and pulled your mouth off him after a few wet suckles so that you could lick a thick strip along the underside, eyes still shining with mischief despite the dark lust clouding them as he shook above you.
Fuck, he was so sensitive. A rush of arousal pooled low in your stomach and you moaned around him when you took him into your mouth again and sucked on the head while stroking the rest of his length. You would have to get used to his size before taking any more of him. But damn, if your eyes weren’t bigger than your belly and you let him sink deeper once, getting about half of him along your tongue before you felt yourself gagging.
“Stars, yes—” he groaned, the tight heat of your mouth making him want to sink his cock as deep as it could go before you pulled off him with a gasp, your saliva making his length glisten.
Neither of you had the time to dawdle; you could feel the coiling tension radiating from him as he dropped his hand to card his fingers through your hair. You could have spent hours kneeling there with his cock in your mouth, happily keeping him on the verge of pleasure, but he needed to go sooner rather than later. Reluctantly, you gave the tip one last lick before using your saliva as lubrication to stroke him quicker when you stood back up, his hand never leaving the back of your head.
“Tease--- fucking tease, always---” the staccato of his speech was dotted with more frequent rumbling moans and when he bit out a curse as your fingers massaged along the thick vein under his cock, he dropped his head back to your shoulder, the space between you reducing to only as much as your hand needed to jerk him off.
“You can get me back later, Mando,” you purred, squeezing the head lightly, “but right now I want you to cum.” Your free hand went back to palming his balls, rolling them between your fingers and you could feel them tightening in your hold. Your cunt clenched needily when the Mandalorian actually whimpered.
He had slipped back into his native language as he muttered darkly in your ear and even if you didn’t understand the words, the rasp and sinful promise in them as his tone became more and more desperate was enough to make another gush of wetness drench your pussy.
You knew it hit him the moment his spine went rigid, and he choked on a gasp, his hand tightening almost painfully in your hair reflexively. You slowed your pace with a whimper, lazily stroking him through his orgasm as several thick ropes of cum splattered against your jacket, the rest coating your hand as it dribbled down his cock.
His breathing returned in short, stagnant gasps, his arm taking most of his weight while his forehead rested heavily on your shoulder as he recovered. He hissed tiredly, pushing your hand away when the overstimulation made his spent cock twitch even as it softened. It gave you the perfect opportunity to lift your hand and delicately swipe your tongue along your finger to taste him. Slightly salty and a bit sharp, you sucked the finger into your mouth with a hum and let your eyes drift closed at the taste.
A long groan pulled your eyes open again to see Mando lifting his head lethargically from your shoulder, tilted down to watch you clean your fingers of his release,
“Don’t waste any, kitten,” he rumbled, his voice rougher than usual and you felt a swell of pride at the fatigue you heard in it. His hand wrapped back around your wrist to lead your other fingers to your mouth, as if to be part of this ritual of you eating his release. You were only too eager to lap each of them clean, eyes heavy-lidded as you sought his invisible gaze. His chest was still heaving from his release, breathing labored and he looked absolutely wrecked.
You moaned your approval at his taste, enjoying his eyes on you as you did so. You spread your fingers and turned them to rest against his chest and he hummed a “good girl” as he fingers released your wrist to trace up along your arm and across your collarbone lazily, curious in their exploration as though he had never thought to take the time to simply touch for the sake of touching. He probably hadn’t, you realized when you thought about it a little deeper.
His fingers roamed up along the column of your neck and settled there, flexing before they relaxed into a content hold that made you lean into the solid weight of his caress,
“Be here when I get back,” he rasped, fingers spreading to spear up through your hair at the base of your neck for a brief moment.
He only released you when you nodded, mesmerized by the lights that caught on his visor and the shine of his unpainted helmet.
And then his hand dropped and the overwhelming heat and presence of his body leaning over yours was gone. A single input into his vambrace and the child’s hover-pram followed him dutifully. You leaned back against the wall to gather your own breath that you seemed to have lost and pressed the forgotten control button to release the ramp for him and when it flattened on the lava fields below, he offered you a nod before wandering down to his… welcome party?
You snorted on a laugh to yourself, turning back into the bowels of the ship to shower and get changed before going out yourself.
That’s a first.
Tumblr media
  You wasted no time stripping out of your clothes, flushing slightly at the stains on your jacket and pants from Mando’s release. You showered without washing your hair to save time and pulled on a new pair of pants along with a cream, loose linen top. For warmer climates like Nevarro, you were glad you had picked up the piece despite not wearing it often. You liked the feeling of not having layers of fabric clinging to you, the wispy soft length of the fit caressing rather than constricting and the dip in the neckline was tastefully offset by a string tied across your collarbones that gave it a breath of femininity. You stretched your arms above your head and enjoyed the occasional brush of the material on your back before you grabbed a satchel to make use of the unexpected free time you had been afforded without the child.
You greeted the mechanics setting up by the Razor Crest. Mando had obviously sorted the repairs out, whatever they entailed when he left the ship. Poor old girl was in some state after that landing but her condition wasn’t enough to wipe the content grin off your face as you walked in through the main gates with a small spring in your step. Despite the slight hiccup, today hadn’t gone quite so bad as you thought.
Nevarro was an… interesting place, you came to realize after a short while walking through the ragtag streets and down dusty roads. It boasted the same clientele as most Outer Rim planets, but the place wasn’t nearly big enough or significant enough to garner the attention of anyone more dangerous than a petty thief. The presence of the Bounty Hunters Guild also had a hand in dissuading criminals from setting up on Nevarro. It was charming, in a way. But then, you always were drawn to… unconventional things.
The marketplace – when you arrived – was, in a word, chaotic. There was no clear system of stalls or shops, hardly any signage and people seemed to make do with the most uncharacteristic objects upon which to sell their wares. You had seen no less than four sabacc tables, what looked like the carcass of an old mining trolley and you were nearly certain the Jawas were using stacked stormtrooper helmets beneath a large cloth to make a very wobbly table. You hadn’t managed to confirm that one unfortunately, instead trying to garner what information you could about what each stall and shopfront sold to know where to come back to after doing a leisurely loop of the market.
People bustled here and there, chatter flowed freely, and it felt similar to when the Empire first fell; as though a great weight had been lifted from these people, excited to enjoy the liberties freedom gave them. It was infectious, and you were charmed by it; swindling Jawas and all.
You had been delighted to learn from a helpful human man tinkering with the wiring of a pit droid outside a non-descript repair shop that there was a banking center on Nevarro – a New Republic one at that – recently installed with all the changes happening on the planet.
You threw your silent thanks to the Maker that at least now you had access to your own funds and could stop feeling guilty about living off Mando’s hard earned credits. Noticing the stiffness in the man’s legs when he stood to point you in the right direction, you stalled your journey to the bank to enquire about it.
“Only age, love. Nothin’ to be done about that,” he had waved you off with a dismissive chuckle.
You smiled in return with a brief nod before you took your leave, filing through information in your head about age-related joint stiffness as you did. You simply couldn’t help yourself; you hadn’t had a patient in months and Mando was the worst possible one whenever he was injured so you indulged yourself on your way to the bank with a pain relief plan for someone who had been kind to you. Not just because he reminded you of an elderly Mirialan who complained of similar pains what seemed like a lifetime ago.
The banking center was thankfully, a straight-forward experience. A gatekeeper droid scanned your chain code and then all you had to do was select the service you required. Withdrawing the sum of your accumulated pension that had been deposited but untouched for the last few months left you with a satisfying weight to your satchel as you left and was hardly dented as you went about your errands.
After a few wrong turns and your insistence that no, you didn’t need whatever piece of junk the Jawas were trying to peddle, you managed to replenish the food supplies you felt had either been running low or knew the other two enjoyed along with a few much-needed additions to the medical kit you were building and maintaining. You even went so far as to purchase a few tools you had been without since leaving Mynock, medical and otherwise that would no doubt come in handy eventually. The medical supply store was quite well stocked on Nevarro and given the number of bounty hunters you had seen prowling; it really came as no surprise.
A few tubes of heating liniment added to your satchel along with the other bags you carried, and you returned to the repair shop to hand them to the elderly man there. Your hastily demonstrated number of gentle exercises had him chuckling at you good naturedly and an hour later, you were still chatting over tea and some sort of oat biscuits.
 “You’re not from around here, are you?” he asked conspiratorially when you had first sat down gingerly to accept the mug he slid over to you. The question had made you laugh,
“What makes you say that?”
He hummed in contemplation around a bite of his biscuit before pointing what remained of the biscuit at you, “Folk ‘round here are too caught up in their own lives, they don’t be worryin’ about others.”
“It could also be because I’m a medic, no?” you aired your thoughts aloud after a sip of the fragrant tea, a mix of what tasted like ginger and something floral.
“Ah, but you’da charged me if you were workin’ here,” he tapped his nose, a fond wink thrown in for good measure, “go on so, where are you comin’ from then?”
You weren’t able to stop the bubble of laughter that rose, “Pamarthe, for my sins,” you admitted.
“Ah!” he clapped a hand on his knee jovially, “A Pamarthan! Great pilots. Great drinkers!” he chortled, and you snorted into your cup on a laugh, nailed it. You chuckled as you took two biscuits off the table with a small explanation that they were for a child you were looking after. That led you to fielding questions about if the child was yours, but you were able to skirt away from that topic with a well-placed question,
“So, have you ever been to Pamarthe?”
“Me? No, no not with the Empire. Very hard to travel back in those days, very hard. Now, well. I’m not the lad I once was, love. Can’t be off planet hoppin’ anymore at my age. But a few of your people have been known to pass through here, like you.” he explained while you nodded along politely.
“Mores the pity, I can imagine you’d like it. It’s… very different to Nevarro,” you admitted with a glance around the bustling crowds kicking up ash and soot from the extrusive ground underneath. The temperate climate of Pamarthe brought grass and mud, not rock and ash.
“Is it true that all the islands are connected with rope bridges? And not something more modern?”
Your eyes widened pleasantly, the same rush of warmth anyone experienced when faced with the welcome surprise that someone knew about their homeland while not being native themselves,
“You do know your stuff!” a wistful smile broke out on your face at the thought, “and you’re right. It’s just always been that way,” you shrugged, “I’ve never really thought about why some of the old ways were kept; technology is used to prevent erosion of the islands themselves after all.”
“Remarkable, isn’t it? The things we miss that are right under our noses. Simply because that’s the way they’ve always been.” he hummed sagely, and you couldn’t help but agree.
And on your conversation went. It was refreshing, to have a conversation again. You had gotten so used to one-sided chattering on your part to the child and the simple answers from the Mandalorian that didn’t invite any more speaking than necessary.
This was nice, it was a change from the norm. But a part of you started to long for the quiet hum of the ship the longer you stayed away. Perhaps it was down to being unaccustomed to the prolonged sensory overload between the bustling crowds and loud bartering that had you eager to get back, and not just the thought of seeing a roguish warrior who seemed to embody the safety silence could provide. At least, that was what you tried to convince yourself of anyway.
So, bidding your new acquaintance a good evening along with a stern instruction to do his exercises that held no real bite, you left, your pace a little quicker than could be described as casually strolling, “be here when I get back” echoing in your mind and setting flurries of anticipation off in your stomach.
Life still seemed to go on even as the suns in the sky began to age and the shadows they cast on the low buildings and narrow streets shifted. There was still plenty of activity and you casually ruminated on where all these people went when the day was done as you reached the Razor Crest. The Guild had finished unloading the quarries in the time you had been away, and the engine seemed relatively repaired if your untrained eye was anything to go by. Lowering the ramp, you lugged the progressively heavier bags back up into the hold and unpacked them merrily; the outing and the fresh air had done wonders for you a world of good.
With the last of your supplies tucked away under the galley counter, you found yourself with nothing to do. Dismissing the thought of making something to eat after just eating biscuits, you found yourself climbing the ladder to the cockpit instead.
Chewing your lip contemplatively once there, you gingerly sat in the pilot’s chair before you could talk yourself out of it and took in the sweeping view of lava flats as far as the eye could see from this higher vantage point.
Honestly, you chided yourself internally, it’s a chair.
But in the same way you would never sit in your mother’s favorite seat at the table, where the view of the vast ocean framed by towering cliff edges of far off islands was best – even when empty – you still hesitated before you relaxed into the large seat.
Maker, was it always this big? It seemed much narrower when he sat in it… but with space on either side between you and the armrests, you were once again reminded of the size of his presence, unconsciously and perhaps foolishly dwarfed only by your familiarity with seeing him so frequently. You remembered how big he was on your examination table when he had been poisoned. The table had groaned under him and while you had seen taller, you had seen broader, his was the aura that told you he could put every inch of height, every pound of weight to better use than anyone larger or stronger than himself. Heck, even a Houk warlord hadn’t stood a chance against him.  
Your fingers ran along the sturdy leather of the armrests, the dry fabric catching the pads in their exploration and reminding you vaguely of a tookas tongue, an abrasive yet gratifying sensation on your softer skin. Your muscles sagged as you relaxed further, the trepidation of being somewhere you shouldn’t be beginning to melt away and causing your head to rest back.
You enjoyed the tactility more with your eyes closed, the deprivation of sight transforming your awareness of the leather beneath your fingers; the shallow veins of aging cracks along the material, the dips where more pressure was repeatedly placed when the Mandalorian sat here and the small fraying of the stitching at the seams. It became a map under your fingers, with rivers and valleys and mountains and you lost yourself in the idle relaxation it brought to you.
So immersed in your tactile exploration, your ears didn’t pick up on the ramp lowering, nor the presence that paused in the doorway of the cockpit, startled at first before he relaxed against the side of the doorframe, admiring the sight before him where he could leisurely take you in while you were caught unawares.
“Planning on stealing my ship?” his voice came out rougher than either of you anticipated and your eyes immediately snapped open to look over your shoulder from where you sat, lips parted in a surprised ‘o’ and looking very much like you had been caught.
You took him in from your position and, after running your hand along the armrest to find the correct button, swung the chair around to face him. You were quite comfortable where you were and didn’t fancy getting up despite your prior hesitation. One leg crossed delicately across the other, you rested your chin on a propped-up hand with a grin,
“If I wanted to steal your ship, I’d have gotten it months ago,” you teased, the familiar ground you had somewhat lost with him over the last week making a welcome return, “you’d have never even known.” you finished confidently with a wink.
Mando said nothing for a moment, assessing your words and mannerisms, “You think you could steal a bounty hunters ship from right under his nose and not get caught?” he hummed, his disbelief evident in his dismissive tone, “Please.”
“No?” you tapped your fingers along your cheek where they rested, “You seemed pretty out of it after I had your cock in my mouth,” you threw at him casually, tone light as if you were merely discussing what you wanted for dinner, smirking at the surprised choke it pulled from him, “probably be pretty easy for me then, wouldn’t you say?”
His body stiffened as he collected himself at the abruptness of your words, fingers flexing on his arms where he had them crossed across his chest and head shifting to look away from you before his visor refocused itself on where you sat,
“I don’t think you were much better, kitten,” his husky voice was deeper than it had been, thicker.
Your stomach fluttered at that stupid fucking nickname, the rolling rasp of it on his tongue only enhanced by the natural lilt of his accent. Your flare of temper gave him the time to push off the wall and saunter over in that arrogant way you hated as much as loved and pressed a hand to the back of the seat by your head,
“I think sucking my cock got you wetter than riding my thigh, didn’t it?” he rumbled, as though his question was merely a token gesture, used to amplify the truth in the statement that came before it, “I don’t think you’d be able to do anything, let alone steal my ship.”
It was your turn to be flustered now, dammit. You had the high ground for all of two minutes before he effortlessly flipped the control. Your body thrummed with how close his was but not one part of him even brushed against you; not the coarse fabric on his arm where it was braced on the seat, not the solid beskar on his legs against yours, nor his helmet against your forehead as he leaned over you. Touch was not a language Mando knew well beyond violence, but he was well aware of how to use his body to intimidate… to dominate… to captivate.
Your eyes stayed on his visor, focusing your attention on breathing normally and to not let the effect he had on your body show. You could feel the heat of his gaze running down your face, over the exposed skin at your collarbones and down the light material of your shirt. The appreciative grunt slipping through his modulator had your thighs clenching together instinctively as the craving you had been distracting yourself from all day reignited with a soft gasp when gloved fingers traced over the bend of your knee that sat crossed over your leg.
“Take these off,” he muttered, patting your thigh once as his fingers traced up from your knee, running them along the outer seam of your pants before pulling his hand away as though it had never touched you and rested it on his belt expectantly as he looked down at you, “I want to see how wet sucking my cock makes you.”
His crass words, so unlike his usual stoic statements were characteristically blunt but filled with a vulgarity that simultaneously shocked you and turned you on. For such sinful words to fall from the mouth of a man who kept his thoughts and emotions in a chokehold, there was a thrilling sense of depravity that exceeded the fact that you had gotten each other off already today.
You leaned back languidly against the pilot’s chair, watching him leisurely as he stood over you and made no attempt to hide the way your eyes trailed down his body. You rode his thigh and sucked his cock already; was there really any point in trying to hide your attraction to him anymore? Life was too fucking short.
“Are you asking me to go down on you again, Mando?” you purred, loving the virility in his tone; there was nothing you loved more than an insatiable lover, it boded well for him being able to keep up with you.
“I’m telling you that if you don’t remove them now, you won’t be allowed to.”
There was a barely restrained thread of anger surfacing in his voice, possibly the residual effects of making him answer the commlink from his contact in the Guild while you had your hands and mouth on his cock, but instead of the spark of fear your instinct would usually alert you with, a trickle of desire kissed your senses instead.
“An interesting punishment,” you hummed, fingers toying with the waistband of your pants, “given that you’d be missing out as well.” Even as you said it, you were uncrossing your legs. He pushed back a pace or two from where he loomed over you to give you room or to get a better view, you didn’t know. Lifting your hips from the seat, you shimmied the form fitting material over your ass and down your legs, kicking the material off one foot before the other, panties staying on.
His helmet snapped up from the smooth skin of your legs to your face and, in a move that had a sense of déjà vu settling over you both, you reclined back comfortably against the chair again, your eyes dancing with the same challenge he had thrown to you on Klatooine.
The pants can come off, but the underwear stays on.
For now, you told yourself, but he didn’t need to know that right away.
The warning growl he emitted was the sweetest response you could have wished for. Revenge after all, was better served ice cold.
Your move. Your eyes dared him with a glimmer of amusement and a quirk of your brow even as a knot of anticipation began to curl in your stomach.
He surprised you by sitting in the co-pilots chair you usually occupied after a tense few seconds, leaning back into the leather, relaxed.
You frowned, breaking the nonchalant façade you tried to deceive him with as your mind scrabbled to figure out what he was planning. You hadn’t anticipated him sitting away from you and simply watching you. You were about to question him when your lips parted as the hand resting on his thigh lifted to palm himself through his flight suit slowly.
Your teeth dented your bottom lip, shifting yourself in the seat while your eyes immediately focused on the way his hand flexed and curled around the prominent bulge and your fingers itched at the memory of his cock filling your hand.
His game, obviously, was to drive you bantha-shit insane, because the moment he unzipped his fly to pull himself from the tight confines of the flight suit, already hard and leaking, you wanted him.
You’ll regret this…
The growl reverberated in your mind from hours before. He was using the very thing you had used against him, on you. Your eyes glazed over as they followed the steady path of the Mandalorians fist as he stroked himself, small grunts the only sounds he seemed willing to let you hear.
You swallowed, heat rose to your cheeks and your skin becoming uncomfortably hot. It made you increasingly aware of your own arousal as you remembered the weight of his cock in your hand, the pulsing length of him on your tongue… your tongue peaked out to taste your bottom lip, all traces of his earlier release unfortunately gone.
Your eyes darkened when a quiet groan was picked up by the modulator, his head dipping with a ragged breath as his thumb swiped over the swollen head. You had to stifle a moan of your own when you recognized that the movement of his hand was mimicking yours, twisting momentarily on the upward stroke and squeezing as it came back down to the base.
Your idle fingers itched to touch yourself and one hand began subconsciously moving between your thighs as they spread enough give you space. But the Mandalorians sharp eyes – even clouded with lust – didn’t miss a thing as his head rolled around to look at you,
“Hands by your sides, kitten.”
His voice was dangerously low, thick with lust as he slowed his strokes to a lazier pace, prolonging his desire and by default, prolonging your inability to touch yourself. You could practically hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke, and it made you huff indignantly, but you fisted your hands on the leather beside your bare hips nonetheless. The ease with which he gave commands, the casual control he exuded, it sent tremors of need through you, a baser side of you eager to obey even if it conflicted with your stubborn nature.
“Good girl,” he rasped with an unmistakable tease lilting his voice when you settled, “keep behaving and I’ll let you taste it.”
You hated to admit it, but the promise of having him in your mouth again was almost worth the silent torture you were being made endure now, cunt throbbing in neglect and skin humming with sensitivity. You had always been able to succeed with a mind over matter approach, with the constant knowledge that the reward was worth the work it took to achieve it but Maker, was he making it difficult.
The minutes he sat away from you felt like hours despite your resolve and the temptation to touch yourself only grew as the air grew thick with tension. Your eyes drank their fill of the warrior getting himself off mere feet away from where you sat half-naked. The sound of his hand stroking himself and those breathy exhales were going to drive you mad.
Your panties felt uncomfortable against your sensitive skin and you cursed your stubbornness in keeping them on, shifting in your seat and making yourself whine quietly when they brushed against your clit, drawing Mando’s helmet down to look at you once more,
“Take them off,” he repeated breathlessly, and you wanted to weep in thanks, eagerly lifting your hips to push the offending piece of clothing down your legs. You didn’t have time for shyness or modesty when the cool air on your bare cunt was soothing for all of five seconds before the throbbing heat made you ache with a renewed need to touch your clit, to somehow relieve the pressure. The approving groan that rumbled from the Mandalorian was a stroke to your ego as you spread your legs for him, revealing your damp folds to him and tempting him to break the rules of his own game.
“Maker, I can see how wet you are from here,” he moaned and picked up the pace of his stroking momentarily, caught up in the vision you presented him with, half naked in his pilot’s chair; you were a veritable galactic pin up girl.
You made a small noise of impatience, your darkened eyes pleading with him as your body burned under his unseen gaze.
“Tell me what you want,” he grunted, squeezing the base of his cock to slow himself down from simply getting himself off as quickly as possible as he would normally.
“Your cock,” you answered shamelessly before tagging a quiet “please?” to the end which seemed to break him just like you hoped it would.
He stood not a moment later and made the few steps to stand beside you and you wasted no time in greedily wrapping your fingers around the thick base of his cock. You turned your head so your lips could instantly wrap around the head of his cock again, beyond teasing him and addicted from the brief taste you had of it earlier in the day and making you moan around him in both pleasure and relief.
The vibrations made Mando hiss as they ran through him before his head tipped back on a moan when you relaxed your jaw to take a bit more of his length into your waiting mouth, tongue massaging as much of the underside as it could reach. You began a steady rhythm moving up and down his cock, your muscles relaxing to let him move easier along your tongue.
Your hand stroked what you couldn’t take into your mouth, using your saliva to glide your hand down to his base with a firm squeeze. You knew it would take a little time to get familiar with taking him in fully, so you enjoyed each drag of his length over your tongue and lips, along with the occasional teasing scrape of your teeth that had his breath hitching.
He gripped the headrest behind you when you pulled off him to latch your lips wetly along the length, licking and kissing your way to the base nestled among dark, trimmed hair, your hand massaging the head as you did so. The sight made you hum and lick a long strip back up the underside to suckle on the head once more. You had deduced he was probably dark haired given the beautiful tan of his skin, but having it confirmed made your stomach clench giddily.
Your eyes lifted back to Mando’s helmet when he cupped your jaw, pressing his thumb slightly against your cheek for you to open your mouth so his cock could settle back on your tongue. You moaned, taking his none too subtle hint and started sucking him off again in earnest, your saliva and his precum leaving his cock messy and wet and the sounds it made as you sank your head down on it were profane and loud in the otherwise silent cockpit.
You keened when you felt a gloved hand trace down your front, ghosting under the swell of your breast before giving it a tentative squeeze that had you whimpering around him and relaxing your throat to ease more of him into your mouth. He grunted and kneaded the soft flesh of your breasts above the thin linen shirt at the perfect heat of your mouth, learning you as you were him.
You dug your nails into the backs of his thigh to stop yourself from gagging when his tip pushed against the back of your throat, the sudden sensation making him jerk his hips forward with a gasp of your name and a hard squeeze to your breast while tears formed in your eyes. The slight burn was delicious, and the sounds he made as you took as much of his cock into your mouth as possible were even more so.
“Fuck yes…” he groaned, your mouth molten around his cock while he rocked against you shallowly, his gaze roaming your entire body and when it fell on the thin ring of ink surrounding your left thigh, his cock twitched in your mouth and caused you to pull back enough to swirl your tongue around the sensitive head before sinking back down on him to take in as much as you could.
The sound of him choking on a moan encouraged you to hollow your cheeks and swallow around him, your eyes glittering up at him with a mix of tears and teasing when he jerked his hips forward again, pushing his length that bit deeper.
“Such a… fucking filthy thing---” he moaned, releasing your breast to tangle his hand in your hair to slow your movements as you withdrew your head eagerly and sank back down on it, “but so… so fucking thorough in your examinations.”
You pulled off him, a breathless laugh leaving your mouth even as trails of saliva kept you connected to his cock and messed up your mouth and chin. You pumped him with your hand while you rested the head against your cheek,
“What did you call it again? Coercive medical attention?” your voice was hoarse, but it dripped with a lovely mix of amusement and desire.
“So long as it ends with my cock in this perfect fucking mouth, I’ll accept medical attention of any kind,” he bit out, the slight tremble in his voice when you gave him a long hard stroke was endearing in a way you hadn’t anticipated the warrior being.
“I’ll believe that when Mustafar freezes over,” you chuckled, giving his cock a squeeze for good measure before taking him back into your mouth.
“Maybe we’ll go there then---” he cursed when you let him hit the back of your throat again, “be—be the only way to shut you---” he never did get to finish that sentence, his head falling back on his shoulders with a sound that got caught in his throat when you took the remaining few inches into your mouth valiantly and swallowed hard around him, breathing deeply through your nose.
Feeling yourself start to gag, you pulled off his cock halfway, gasping around him before starting to lazily bob your head in order to get your breath back and do it again. His hand tightened in your hair but allowed you to move at your own pace. Your attention was pulled back up to him when he leaned over you slightly, a slap to your inner thigh making you moan and spread them for him eagerly.
“Fuck…” he groaned, and you felt the soft leather of a finger swipe through your folds, making you whimper. He growled something you couldn’t quite pick up with your blood pounding in your ears from that single jolt of pleasure he gave you but when you felt him again, it wasn’t the cool leather of his gloves, but the warm skin of his fingers instead.
The realization made you jump on contact with a mewl as he spread your wetness along your dripping cunt. You knew what he would find there without him having to say a word. Slick, swollen and burning with need as you keened, your sounds were muffled by his cock filling your mouth. You struggled to keep the lazy pace of bobbing up and down on his length when you forgot how to breathe from the slight calloused tips of two of his fingers spreading your slick lips and pulling a vicious growl from the Mandalorian.
“All this from sucking my cock?” his voice was labored, control razor thin as he struggled not to merely grip your head and fuck your mouth to chase the release dangling before him. It seemed every part of you was hot and wet and soft as his fingers spread through your folds and his cock buried in your mouth. Your bright, wide eyes, glassy with lust looking up at him made that struggle even harder as his hips rolled involuntarily, your cheeks hollowing and wet tongue massaging under the prominent vein pulsing on the underside of his cock.
You were addicted to the way he sounded, the ever-present discipline he exuded daily was being pulled taut as more primal urges overtook him. It was an intoxicating reminder of his humanity, of the man under the armor and the mere thought of his possible expressions beyond an impassive helmet as curses and moans and filth fell from his lips, had a wave of wetness slowly pulsing from your neglected pussy.
“Oh fuck--- fuck what, what was that--” he rasped, his fingers diving into the arousal that dripped down your open thighs and over your cheeks to the seat underneath you, making a mess. The sudden gush seemed to short circuit something in Mando, his mind struggling to focus on anything but the soaked cunt under his fingers.
When the pads of his fingers brushed over your aching clit, you cried around him, squeezing the base of his cock, and making him hiss your name; a surprised hitch that had him nearly doubled over you in pleasure. The next brush of his fingers was not as surprising, but no less intense before he began a stead rhythm of circling your clit, dipping his fingers down into your sopping folds before dragging that wetness back to soothe over the sensitive bundle of nerves.
You tried to mumble something, your head foggy with the need to cum from being filled with something other than your own fingers, but his cock garbled your words, the two of you slipping into that tangled, desperate side of lust. You couldn’t bring yourself to take him out though, lamenting the loss even for a moment as you greedily tried to take more of him again, the choked gasp above the only reward you needed when your nose brushed the coarse hair at his base. It had to be a sin, to feel this good from giving someone else pleasure. Maker, you could get off just by sucking this man’s cock for hours and be satisfied.
Mando however, didn’t seem to share that sentiment and when he suddenly pushed a finger into your tight cunt, your eyes rolled closed as you both moaned in unison. Your walls fluttered and clenched around the thick, foreign digit and you felt your orgasm cresting at your sensitivity before it abated somewhat when his finger settled knuckle deep inside you.
“Stars, so tight for me, kitten--- tight and wet and fuck,” he spat as you clenched around him again at how wrecked he sounded, giving his cock a particularly hard pull into your mouth while you whimpered around him, “can just imagine, shit, imagine how tight you’ll be around my cock.” His words were almost slurring in their delirium and you knew that if you tried to speak, you wouldn’t sound much better. Especially not when he added a second finger into your pussy and started pumping them achingly slow and more controlled than he sounded.
“So big, you- your fingers--- more,” you whined after pulling his cock from your mouth to suck in a breath, the task suddenly becoming manual as you struggled to remember what came first, inhale or exhale? “I want more, always more,” you were babbling against his cock now, begging words interspersed with wet licks and kisses to the length as if you could convince him with affection to give you what you wanted.
“That’s it kitten, fuck, t-tell me what you want—” Mando was panting now, the quick jerks of your wrist along his cock, slippery from your drool and saliva making his own breathing an unbearable task as his fingers pumped inside you harder, the wet sounds filling the cockpit both mortifying and evocative, “such a greedy, hungry, smart-mouth medic I—shit.”
He almost sounded angry, the tempestuous rumble rolling from his voice like thunder, but paired with one hand roughly thrusting a third finger into you and the other carding his fingers reverently through your messy locks, you knew he was as unhinged as you were with the intensity of the pleasure you were somehow able to give each other. As if the tension that had been steadily growing from that first fateful night on Klatooine was suddenly boiling over, spilling, and hissing as it stoked the flames beneath; a closed circuit that could no longer be stopped or broken.
When his thumb began working tight, practiced circles around your clit as his fingers fucked you into the chair, you knew you wouldn’t last long. The looming pressure that had been building the moment he asked if you planned on stealing the Razor Crest was coming at you faster than a TIE fighter,
“Gonna cum, Mando--- Mando, feel so good, please---” you whimpered, grinding your hips down on his hand desperately as your orgasm drew near.
He slowed his fingers despite your protestations, and he gentled your frustration with a well-placed curl of his fingers inside you, “Shh, shh—fuck, not yet---” he started and you whined as you sucked the head of his cock back into your mouth ardently, as if somehow, that would change his mind, a mixture of saliva and precum drooling down the sides of your mouth as you messily lapped at him, “fuck… kitten--- wait.”
He pulled himself from your mouth and his fingers from your cunt, chuckling breathlessly at your frown as you glared up at him, “wait…” he purred, the sound running down your spine and across your overheated skin while he hooked one hand under your knee to drape your leg over the armrest, giving him a better view and greater access to your soaked pussy.
You shivered as he gathered some of your arousal to coat his fingers before your jaw slackened when he spread your juices along his cock – the shudder down his spine evidence of just how effected he was – until it glistened with a combination of your saliva and arousal. The visceral image of your arousal coating his cock had any last shred of control or shame disappearing, impatience taking its place.
 It was filthy, and your mouth watered at the sight of him. You dragged your eyes up to his visor slowly, eyes dark and cheeks flushed, lips parted and chin messy from your ministrations. The resounding growl he released had your cunt quivering, missing his fingers and it pulled an impatient whine from your lips as your nails raked down his covered hip.
“Mando…” you began, eyes dropping back to his cock with a silent plea.
He led his cock back into your waiting mouth, running the head along your plump bottom lip and smearing the mess already at your mouth and chin before pressing it back against your waiting tongue. His fingers immediately returned to push into you and began fucking you in earnest. The tangy taste of your own arousal mixing with his made you moan around him and your eyes flutter shut, your hips grinding down on his hand immediately once he found a rough, fast pace to bring you over the edge. You greedily engulfed the length of him, your hand stroking along the base as you hummed when you felt him get impossibly harder on your tongue.
His fingers curled against that small patch inside of you and made your hips jerk up to his rough chuckle, “there we go, good girl---” he panted, his thumb once again returning to your clit which had you practically sobbing around him with the need for release. You had orgasmed only earlier today and yet, it felt like you had been edged for weeks, months even. You were so desperate to come apart that when it did hit you, you were blindsided.
“Fuck, fuck! That’s it, kitten---” Mando pumped his fingers through your quivering walls, slower as they clamped down around him, trying to keep him inside while your cries bounced off the steel surrounding you in the cockpit and soaking his hand in your release. It kept going, for several long seconds and you were certain your brain wasn’t getting enough oxygen with how you were unable to take in a full breath and all you had to ground you, was your hand working over the solid thick length in front of you.
“So good, it’s so good---” you heard yourself babble, moaning his name like a prayer as you latched your lips to his length to drag open-mouth kisses to the shaft, hips still rocking against his hand as the last convulses ran through you, “want your cum, Mando- “
He didn’t respond, his fingers running sloppily over your clit once more as you whined with the overstimulation and tried to pull away despite being trapped against the seat,
“Another. Give me another,” he groaned, his fingers leaving no room for negotiation as they began a renewed onslaught on your sensitive nerves, already raw and frayed from coming so hard already. You shook your head even as you lapped at his head, eyes teary and unfocused as you looked up at him, “I can’t, it’s too much—”
“’More’ you said…” he released your hair to grip under your chin, pulling your head up to be pressed against his helmet, “I’m gonna… shit, I’m gonna give you as much as you need.”
His voice was strained, and you could hear it wavering the closer he got to his own release. But even in your foggy mind, you could feel the steel determination rolling off him. He wasn’t going to cum until you did. The thought alone made you whimper and despite your earlier declaration, a fresh wave of arousal pooled around his fingers as he pressed them back into you.
“Do it…” you heard yourself whisper, lowering your head enough to nuzzle the head of his cock against your cheek while he still held your jaw and you hoped you were meeting his eyes behind the helmet, “give me everything, e-everything I’ve been missing.”
His answering growl and the press of his thumb into your mouth for you to bite down on was all you could remember clearly before he built up a brutal pace once more. Your head fell back against the seat once he released you at the overwhelming friction on your swollen cunt, but Mando wasted no time in guiding your head back to his cock and with a whimper, you took him back into your mouth easily, his tip brushing the back of your throat now without hesitation as you swallowed.
His fingers stuttered while he groaned before regaining their rhythm and curling up against that spot inside you, a flick of his thumb against your clit sending flames scorching over your skin again as your release approached embarrassingly quick,
“Better than I ever imagined… this mouth—” he moaned, “you’re so wet and fuck… I bet you taste—” he was cut off on a long moan as you let him sink down your throat, breathing heavily through your nose before pulling back and repeating the action, your hands reaching into his flight suit to fondle his heavy balls once more.
You were equally determined to make him cum, a small taste earlier hadn’t been enough to satiate your craving and with a second orgasm about to overtake you, you were ravenous with the need to have him cum down your throat before you were struck dumb with the pleasure his hands would give you.
His breathless chuckle, such a foreign sound to come from him, made you want to smile had you not been preoccupied, “trying to beat me, kitten?” he asked, slowing the thrusts of his fingers so they were longer and harder, the change in pace heating you up beyond boiling point and you gave his balls a gentle squeeze in retaliation.
He was breathing hard, trying to limit his hips from thrusting into your warm mouth but even you could tell the shallow thrusts highlighted how close he was. But given his stubbornness, he doubled down on his efforts and with a final hard press on your clit and a perfect curl to his fingers your release crashed over you, less intense than the first but more surprising as it washed over you and kept you quivering and shaking under him, trying to ride it out with a silent cry. He pulled you through it once again with lazy strokes of his fingers, but they were messy, sloppy as he finally allowed his head to drop back on his shoulders, the tight leash he had on his control finally snapping,
“Yes, fuck— you want my cum, kitten?” he snarled when you nodded around his cock, eagerly pumping him and the change in his breathing told you he was nearly there.
He braced the hand that had been inside you to the back of the chair while the other tangled in your hair to keep you in place, his hips movements uneven and erratic before he stilled, your mouth opening for his cock to rest on your tongue while you pumped him.
He growled your name when his cock pulsed, a rope of cum hitting your cheek before you closed your lips around the head for him to continue coming in your mouth, the thick fluid coating your tongue and making you moan at the taste of him before you swallowed it down. You sank your lips slowly down the length of him, coating him with any residual cum in your mouth while you languidly basked in both your orgasms with a fond lick to his tip.
His shoulders lifted and fell in great rolls as he struggled to catch his breath, the heat in his invisible gaze not lost on you as you held his cock up to lick it clean languidly, reveling in every twitch you could feel in his muscles as a result.
“Maker…” he whispered into the cockpit, now filled only with your combined breathing. He hadn’t stopped stroking your hair as you cleaned his cock up, and the gentle act belied the gruff exterior he presented. It wasn’t lost on you, even if it might have been unconsciously done on his part in his post-orgasmic haze. Your leg dropped from the armrest to fold closed, and you hummed at the pleasant ache you felt once they were together despite the stickiness of your release drying on your thighs.
Once your tongue had become too much for him, he pulled back from you slightly, just enough to push himself back into his flight suit and with a fleetingly soft caress to the side of your head, he dropped back down in the co-pilot seat where he had first begun. You swiped the warm cum from your face and licked your thumb clean while you both basked in the afterglow.
His helmet tipped back against the headrest but kept it turned towards you, his chest rising and falling in large swells. You probably should have grabbed your underwear to cover up, but you were still basking in the euphoria of two breath-taking orgasms that the most you could do was stretch an arm over your head with a soft moan to release any remaining tension in your muscles, your eyes blinking tiredly at Mando all the while.
“Keep that up, and I’ll fuck you right now,” he rasped; his voice lower from how much he had used it in the last while. He didn’t speak often, but you were tickled to find out how vocal he could be when aroused.
You hummed at the thought, relaxing your arms back by your sides as an amused laugh left you, “A tempting offer, but I think my bones have been liquified.” Your words inspired another unencumbered laugh from you, still high from your orgasm and his posture adjusted slightly as if proud of putting you in this state, “I wouldn’t be much use.”
“Until next time then,”
He sat up, the smooth words making you smile tiredly at the familiar phrase. He ran his bare hand behind his neck, a lethargic groan leaving him as he tried to wake himself up from a stupor and your eyes followed the movement. The flash of tan skin made you chew your lip on a smile, knowing exactly where those fingers had been not a few minutes earlier.
You finally pushed yourself to sit up properly, toeing your underwear closer to you so you could bend and shimmy them up your legs, feeling his eyes follow the movement silently. You decided against your pants, the length of your shirt covering your modesty somewhat and you released a long, satisfied breath before turning your gaze to inky darkness that had engulfed Nevarro while you were occupied.
“Did you finish up with your Guild contact?” you posed, and he nodded once,
“Five more pucks,” he explained simply, standing from the co-pilots seat, and you wrinkled your nose, you guys would be travelling for a while, so it seemed.
“Is the kid still asleep?” you hummed tiredly, “I have biscuits for him.”
“Still knocked out from earlier. We had come back to leave when---” he trailed off to your laughter, standing up once you felt your legs wouldn’t give out from under you and turned the pilot seat back to face the viewport,
“Are you saying I made us late, Mando?” you threw over your shoulder, startled when you found him standing directly behind you, his hand falling heavily to your hips and his chest against your back while he hummed in agreement,
“Exactly. You’re as troublesome as the kid,” he murmured against your temple with a squeeze to your thinly covered flesh while you rolled your eyes at him, no heat in the action as you were more pleasantly preoccupied with the comfortable weight of his hands and the warmth that flowed from them into your body.
“Please. Go on then, get us up in the air since we’re so far behind schedule.” You pressed back against him cheekily before his head leaned back to look down at you as he pondered something for a few moments,
“You do it,” he replied simply.
You blinked, he had never asked you to fly before, excluding the time he came back injured on Scipio, and even then, he hadn’t asked. You had taken it upon yourself to do. You couldn’t help but feel that this was a tentative move on his part, a small gesture of confidence he had in you that you didn’t want to refuse.
“I’ll… check on the kid,” he continued with one last caress to your side before he released you and disappeared out of the cockpit, leaving you floundering.
Orgasms put Mando in a much better mood, you determined with a chuckle, taking a seat again and beginning the routine procedures to take you up and off the planet, running your hands back over the dry leather of the armrests fondly.
Crash landing or not, today had been a pretty good day.
 Stitches Taglist:
@geannad​ @ayamenimthiriel​ @sarahjkl82-blog​ @gracie7209​ @pychedelic-star @nova646​ @theflightytemptressadventure​ @wantingtobekorra​ @computeringturtle​ @slayerette26​ @kesskirata​ @greatcircle79​ @boxdyeblonde​ @fangirl-316​ @niiight-dreamerrrr​ @tanzthompson​ @theamuz​ @the-scandalorian​ @gallowsjoker​ @helmet-comes-off​
608 notes · View notes
you-did-well-moon · 3 years
Text
Werewolf!Yunho meeting his mate
Type: Werewolf au, angst, fluff
Pairing: Werewolf!Yunho x HumanFemale!reader
Word count:  2,994
A/n: I know this took a long time, trust me, it felt like a long time for me too. With how I view Yunho, I expected this to be happier than it is. I was having a hard time while writing this, and it reflected on the story. Anyways please enjoy and stay safe!
TW: toxic relationship, financial struggle, deadlines, stressed reader, emotional and verbal pain, toxic masculinity, if I missed anything please tell me.
Tumblr media
You sat at the foot of your bed, still not made, staring at the mirror resting against your dull colored wall with lifeless blank eyes. Your posture slouched as you finished tying the laces of your running shoes huffing and letting your arms flop to the ground. Looking at the mirror, you tried smiling, but it was meak and disappeared as soon as it appeared. 
You hadn’t smiled a real smile in so long, you forgot what it felt like. To smile. To be happy. The forgotten emotion was one you took for granted when it was easy to to bask in the warmth of it. Now it's just cold. Cold and empty. 
You looked away from the mirror with a tight feeling coiling in the base of your chest not being able to bear looking at the stranger staring back at you any longer. Your gaze fell to the laptop, abandoned, due to frustration on your desk in the forgotten corner of the room. The thought of unfinished drafts and incomplete sentences shook violently in your mind. Disappointment in yourself pooling in your gut remembering your editor’s words. 
“If you can’t give us at least a first draft by the end of the month, we’ll have to unfortunately let you and your novel go.”
How pathetic was it that you couldn’t even come up with a simple sentence. A description, dialogue, a metaphor. Nothing. Anytime you sat yourself in front of the desk, your mind went blank. The cursor blinking at the top of the page mocked you with the possibility of millions of words. Not one ever made its way onto the page.  
The end of the month was in two weeks. 
You felt tears of hopelessness stinging the corner of your eyes, and you abruptly stood up grabbing your wireless earbuds, phone, and bag. Making your way into the kitchen you grabbed the water in the fridge and placed it inside your back, nothing but a numb feeling alienating you from reality and its broken expectations. You heard the front door of your little apartment open and slam close shaking the thin walls of the building. 
Your heart lurched as you winced immediately feeling like you were walking on eggshells. You were usually quick enough to leave before he got home from work, but you had been a tad bit late this one time. You gripped the strap of your bag tightly hoping for it to ground you through whatever vile words came from the one person you should have been able to trust with your ugliest feelings. 
Trying to walk past your boyfriend, eyes trained on the chipped wood of the front door did no good when he kissed his teeth and huffed as soon as he caught sight of you.
“You’re never home when I get home from work, and the one time you are here, you run away not even saying hi to me? Not even a “hey honey how was work today” or maybe a “hi love what would you like for dinner?” and never a “you’ve worked hard would you like a massage?” It's the same shit every day. You treat me like nothing when I'm the reason you even have a roof over your head woman.”
You kept your mouth the whole time he rambled on trying to ignore the clear stench of beer being able to reach you even with all the distance separating you, and the feeling of disgust mixed with desperation pooling at the bottom of your gut at yourself for not speaking up for yourself. Opening your mouth instead of letting your voice be taken from you. A long time ago, you would always say you would rather die than be without your voice. In a sense, you had died a long time ago. 
Around three months after you had started dating. That had been two years ago. 
Your English degree really did you no good. Not having enough time to be an intern in college really screwed you over when no job would take a bright eyed girl with the same passion in her heart for writing as a Karen’s passion for business that wasn’t hers, but with no experience. Even if the apartment was under your name, you’d probably be kicked out in weeks time.
You hated all of it. Everything that made up both the small and big parts of your life, you hated it. You hated his greasy hair and beady eyes, the nasty rough stubble covering the lower part of his face as a result of his laziness. You hated the hesitation in leaving him because of the fear of the stack of bills piling up next to the fridge. You hated the editors who couldn’t find it in some part of their greedy selves to extend your deadline. You hated the empty drafts sitting in your laptop collecting what could only be dead dreams and despair. You hated the cold emptiness that was always present in the confines of your chest. 
You recoiled at the way he said “woman” the same way someone would talk about a bug. Small and insignificant. Patronizing and confident in the worst way. You set your mouth in a tight line not even being able to look at him. Shifting your feet, you crossed your arms and looked up to the sky as if calling out to some unknown being to get you out of this pathetic corner you were trapped in. You cursed under your breath looking at the dying flowers on the coffee table with distaste as they wilted towards you mocking you. 
“What was that?” His voice got rougher with the menacing edge of fanned masculinity and control. Something that could put you in a dangerous place in a very fast amount of time. You looked at him with dull eyes poking your cheek with your tongue as a cold feeling settled in your gut. 
Your hands fell limply to your side and you chuckled humorlessly. 
“Fuck you”.
Those two words were enough to set him off as you slowly blinked and looked at the ground feeling your heart falter when he abruptly got up. You tried to stand your ground, but the surge of confidence was quickly withering away with fear taking its place. 
Ethan was bigger than you. Even if he wasn’t that much taller than you, there was a noticeable difference in his frame and yours. Weirdly enough, you didn’t regret your curse at him. The words still burned brilliantly on the tip of your tongue. 
It was bittersweet of course. His nose flared, and his eyes bulged as he took large strides over to you knocking the coffee table over on his path to you.
“What did you say to me you-” his words were said through gritted teeth, brash and loud in the silent apartment.
 Maybe he was bigger and stronger than you, but you were faster.
You inhaled sharply reacting fast as your hand reached behind you, turning the knob and slipping around it slamming the door close. Your bag bumped against your back while you bolted to the door with the word “stairs” painted in big bold letters across it. You were already at the door when you heard your apartment door open and Ethan angrily called your name. Threatening to break your laptop if you didn’t go back right this instant. 
You couldn’t help but snicker at the weak attempt. It’s not like there were much but empty pages anyways. 
A heavy feeling soon settled on your chest as you went down the stairs. Your apartment was on the 4th floor, and the stairs weren’t the most taken care of, but it’s not like you had much of a choice anyways. It seemed these days you were always wanting to run away from something. 
Your heart felt a little lighter when the warm rays of sun met your skin and the fresh air outside flooded your senses. Your walk to the park went as usual. Cars racing to get where they needed to, people chattered about everything and nothing, and your thoughts wandered to a world far away from this one. 
A world that wasn’t as dark as this one. At the same time your mind became your executioner, it became your safe place. The sick contrast making a nasty feeling flood your chest.
You arrived at the park with a small smile. The normalcy of the day bringing a little comfort to your still racing heart. Kids ran around, laughter ringing in the air around them as their parents watched on benches gossiping among themselves. People raced fast either by foot, bicycle, or skateboard, a visible sheen on their necks. You looked for the kind old man who always looked after your bag while you ran. 
He owned a music store a few blocks away, and he always sat on the bench closest to the pond with his cute corgi and habitually feeding the ducks peas and lettuce leaves when finished  with a certain chapter of his book. You walked up to him with a small smile as he looked up and took the sight of you in with fatherly worry.  
“You look a little pale kid, everything alright?” 
You did your best to liven up and gave your best customer service smile which the older man immediately saw through.
“Of course Mr.Jung. Why wouldn’t it be? I’m just a little tired from the editors. They’re on my back more than usual”, you laughed nervously as he hummed in understanding.
“I hope that boy of yours isn’t giving you any problems. Hey kid, have you ever heard of the term “break up?” he looked so serious you had to compose your shocked face. 
You waved your hands rapidly “I promise Mr.Jung everything is fine there is...I...oh my” you took a shaky breath as he simply shrugged his shoulders and pet his smaller companion who was having a very serious stare down with a duck. 
You wiped your sweaty palms on your yoga pants while you looked around at the tacky named paths trying to decide which one to run today. 
“The Pupper Runner path looks particularly nice today,” he suggested. You looked at the path pursing your lips in thought. The path wasn’t one you ran frequently. Since it was one of the wider and flatter paths, there were more people such as families or people walking their dogs. You also didn’t like having run-ins with the cyclists who were grouchier around this time of day for some odd reason.
After contemplating it, you shrugged and decided why not. Getting run over by a ticking time bomb on wheels wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen today. With a small smile sent in Mr.Jungs way, you checked your shoe laces before starting out with a light jog making your way down the specific path.
There was nothing really different about today’s run than others. Just having to dodge the wheel demons and kids happily running ahead of their worried mothers. You were grateful for the distraction. It kept you from straying too far into your head. It was just you running. Running like you always did these days, your shoes slapping on the concrete path and Got7 blaring in your ears. 
The heat of the sun shone on your skin, but oddly you still felt cold. It was always cold these days. A light breeze fresh to your burning skin as desperate eyes caught yours, and you were once again bought out of your stupor. 
A small boy was kneeled down fingers clutching his untied shoelaces not far from his dad who was trying to calm a crying baby. You didn’t really have a strong adoration for kids, but his panicked pinched face compelled you to come to a slow stop in front of him. Your chest heaved as you bent down to his level sitting on your heels and wrapped your arms around your legs.
“Hey bud, you need some help there?”
The kid made a distraught sound as he nodded his face shaking his hair out of his eyes. He looked dumb founded as he stared at his shoe laces in search of answers they would never give.
“Mama said to make a bunny, but this looks more like my aunt Carol’s dog” he sadly told you.
You snorted reaching out gently to tie his laces with a double knot.
With a grin you looked up at him ruffling his hair and giving him a thumbs up which he happily returned with a toothy smile.
“It’s alright kid, you’ll eventually get it. Just keep trying yeah? Don’t settle or you might catch yourself tripping next time you go on a walk. You’ll get hurt. Wouldn’t want that would we”, you said, lips still stretched kindly upwards, but something in your words struck stingingly deep in your chest. 
As the kid nodded happily with a carefree laugh you were about to get up when you heard the air being split and a strained voice yelling “watch out!!”. 
You looked up, panicked, only to see a frisbee racing right in your direction with alarming speed. With the goal of protecting the small child, you quickly turned your body. Your shoes making a rough sound against the concrete as a startled light cry left the younger boy’s mouth.
With your hands ready, you easily caught the frisbee gasping at the shock of the situation. You quickly shook it off as you gripped the frisbee turning back to the child who profusely thanked you, his small hands shaking as they clutched onto the hem of your shirt. 
You simply smiled reassuringly tapping his shoe and ushering him back to his father who has begun to successfully calm the fussing baby down. 
With shaking knees you tried to get up only to wince and slightly waver at the sharp sting that hit your ankle area. You clenched your jaw feeling more than annoyed at the current situation in hand. 
You stood up grumbling under your breath as a tall figure jogged over to you. While he made his way toward you, your narrowed eyes met his wide, apologetic ones. 
You felt the world shift around you as a calming warmth shot through your body melding with the confusion and panic pooling in your gut, and his eyes widened impossibly as he stumbled managing to stabilize himself right in time in front of you. His figure standing just inches away from you as his hands trembled, and his lips slightly parted.
You got a slight whiff of cologne and mint, but more than anything, the weird feeling in your gut was making a way for the dreadful panic clouding around your heart. 
You felt warm. 
After feelings of feeling nothing but the hollow cold licking at your veins, there was a nice warmth settling in your chest. 
You were scared of it. 
With a heavy chest you slightly inched back left somewhat immobile due to the aching pain in your ankle. “What the hell?”, you immediately set off on questioning him leading him to shake his head frantically at you. 
“I’m so sorry, i really am.” He put his hand on his chest as if trying to prove his sincerity to you, but you breathlessly took a step back stunned by the intense feelings taking over your heart and mind. 
You tried shaking it off, but the warmth lingered. 
You weren’t sure you wanted it to go away. 
“There’s kids here”, you were so distracted by all the emotions circling your mind you couldn’t possibly put any effort into arguing with the young man. His lips parted to make way for his lips as he nodded his head in understanding. “I know, I'll be more careful next time. I promise.”
Somehow, you knew he was being truthful. You went to say something, possibly something dangerous, but you shook your head and waved your hand. 
You tried taking a step but lightly hissed at the sharp pain that shot from your ankle up your leg. The man instantly dove forward steadying you with a heavy hand between your shoulder blades, and the other hovering in worry near your collarbone. 
With wide eyes you looked at him as he realized his un-asked for touch and immediately went to back away. 
He couldn’t.  
Your hand was clutching the cloth of his shirt near his shoulder blades. Hands slowly uncurling, you smiled awkwardly, but he kept his hand where it was. At his touch, the warmth licking the insides of your body became all the more distracting. 
“Um, I don’t think you can go all the way back home like this”, he cleared his throat looking at you shily under his bangs. Flustered, you smiled at the ground before looking back up and timidly asking “I can't. Mind helping me out?”.
At your question he let out a beaming grin nodding eagerly. He went to stand in front of you, and he crouched down looking at you over his shoulder with soft brown eyes. You did a small jump, and were caught by his hands slightly gripping under your thighs. 
He gave a low chuckle that somehow was felt from where your chest was pressed up against his shoulder blades. “So...what’s your name?”. You let a light giggle escape, “Y/n, yours?”. You saw his jaw move with the syllables of your name whispering it to himself. 
“Yunho”, you smiled also sounding out the name on your own mouth. You gave a shuddering exhale, and you laid your head on his shoulder letting yourself really rest for what seemed like the first time in forever. 
That night you walked right past Ethan who was quick to begin yelling at you, and you tucked yourself under the safety of your blankets feeling the warmth still encasing your heart, so comforting and alive.  
294 notes · View notes
wing-ed-thing · 3 years
Text
Click: Finale
Synopsis: You invited everyone out to dinner. You also audibly clicked. People have opinions about this.
Word Count: 2,286
Tags/Warnings: Language, Smoking, Fem!Reader
Part I: Shikamaru, Part II: Shino, Part III: Neji, Part IV: Rock Lee , Part V: Naruto, Part VI: Kiba, FINALE, The Message in Click
Notes: I’ve been legit putting off this finale for a month. Come get y’all juice.
Tumblr media
You could only assume that something was about to go down. What you didn’t know just quite yet was if it would be violent: truly a worrying unknown. You hoped not, but then again, Rock Lee’s insistence felt ambiguous at best. He refused to answer any of your questions. And so for the moment, the only thing that felt certain boiled down to Lee’s vice grip on your wrist as he heaved you out of your apartment. You sighed. Everything else that escaped Lee’s lips you found useless at best. With nothing else to work with but a few ramblings about youth, you didn’t bother trying to pry more than you had already.
He hardly gave you any time to prepare and you hoped that you could chalk it up to his overeager nature and not a village-wide emergency. He led you, tugging you across the village. You stumbled over your own feet as you struggled to keep up with his fast pace. He pulled you over rooftops and through busy crowds of people who quickly grew not too pleased with the pair of you as you pushed through.
“Are you not going to tell me where we’re going?” You pleaded, grasping at his wrist. You might as well have asked a rhetorical question or perhaps even not at all. Lee looked back at you for a split second with a wide grin.
“Nope!” He answered before almost crashing you into a wall. You swiveled out of the way with a shriek, still tethered to Lee, and silently thanked your shinobi reflexes. Surely, they saved you from much in this world.
When Lee finally stopped in front of your destination, it was abrupt. You probably should have expected as much, but ultimately didn’t have time to think about it as you fell onto your backside. You crashed into Lee’s lean and muscular back. And unfazed, Lee threw up his arms in show as if unveiling a grand magic trick. He shrieked to the sky above.
“We are here!” You finally shifted your attention to Shushu-ya’s storefront. You blinked, slowly and hesitantly turned to Lee whose face shone like he just won a million ryō. You picked yourself off of the ground and squinted as you brushed yourself off, wondering if there was something about Lee’s presentation that you missed.
“It’s not on fire… or destroyed,” you pointed out with more than a fair bit of skepticism in your voice. Lee glanced up at the storefront with visible confusion. He turned his attention to you and then to the storefront.
“No it is not!” he bellowed, deciding to plaster on a wide grin. Your fingers weaved together as you rocked on your heels and let out a relieved sigh.
“Lee, is this an elaborate way of inviting me out to dinner?” Lee’s features contorted into a deep worry which made you immediately concerned once again. He yelled out something incoherent before taking your wrist again. You braced yourself for news of the village’s doom.
“I completely forgot! Everyone is waiting for us!” And before you could question him, you were tugged inside. He threw open the door, once again almost hitting you in the face as he did. Too focused on your dodging, it took you a second to take in what awaited you inside of the restaurant. “Everyone! I apologize for the delay!”
You turned and couldn’t hide your surprised gaping. Shikamaru, Shino, Neji, Naruto and Sakura were all sat around a rectangular table. Neji scoffed, neatly aligning his chopsticks on his napkin with disinterest.
“About time—” He rolled his eyes— “Lee went to get you a half hour ago.” Lee tried to guide you to the table, but you remained where you stood, unmoving. Lee gave you another slight pull, but you couldn’t even look at him. You couldn’t look at any of them. You quickly excused yourself with a shaky promise of coming right back and left out the front door.
Shikamaru let out a sigh, not one of exasperation, but a sigh nonetheless. He lazily moved to stand, but Shino planted a heavy hand on his shoulder.
“I got her,” he said in his usual Aburame monotone and stood up in Shikamaru’s place. The Nara, on the other hand, sat back in his spot with the newfound relief that he wouldn’t have to get up.
You were trying to catch your breath when Shino found you outside. You hugged your arms to your chest and faced Shino with your posture small. He stood a comfortable distance away, ever-unimposing. Shino buried his hands in his pockets, his back straight but shoulders slouched.
“It’s not a joke is it?” you asked. Shino frowned, slightly perplexed by your question.
“When have you known me to be in on jokes?” You pursed your lips, bobbing your head slightly. You kept nodding and cleared your throat. Your knee bent as you mirrored Shino’s posture, though a bit more nervously.
“It’s not out of pity, then, is it? For me? Because I don’t wanna be here if people are just here out of pity.” Shino took in a deep, discrete breath.
“This group of people wanted to have a meal with friends. Why would that be about you?” You hummed, casting your gaze away from him, flustered. You opened your mouth before shutting it again. Shino waited patiently for your response. He had always been blunt like a wood hammer and to some extent, Shino knew that. After all, he usually didn’t know how to navigate moments such as these. But he would try. “No. If there was a joke, it would be new to me. I was invited to dine with my friends and nothing more.”
“You really think of me as a friend?”
“I could ask you the same. I thought that we’ve been friends for a while.” Shino didn’t hesitate in his response. You stared up into his dark glasses, blinking.
“Yes, of course, Shino. We always have been. I guess I’m just shocked, that’s all. With everything, I mean.” Shino gave a slight nod, but nothing more. He had never been one for outward expression of emotion and he wasn’t about to start now.
“If you’re uncomfortable you don’t have to stay. I can walk you home if that’s what you’d feel better doing.”
You took a moment to think and Shino once again waited patiently. You sat on the ground next to the building. Shino took a step forward and motioned to the space next to you with his palm. You gave him a nod and he sat. The two of you gazed out at the village. Even in its most populated parts, Konoha looked exceptionally beautiful in the summer. Plantlife grew all around you and you wondered if Shino admired it as much as you did.
You didn’t think for long. You didn’t have to before you went to stand. Shino got up quicker than you and lent you a hand. You turned towards the entrance with him at your side and shook your head.
“No, this is nice. Sorry, a lot’s gone on recently. I think I’m just overthinking, you know?” You looked up at Shino but he didn’t look down at you.
“Well?” he asked simply, “Isn’t there something you should be doing then? Everyone’s waiting inside to order.” You perked up, moving to scurry inside but Shino grabbed you gently by both arms as he blocked your path to the door. He lowered himself, but with a frown. “What? I thought you always carried it with you.” The thought dawned on you as his large hands shrunk away.
You reached into your pocket and fiddle with your clicker. Shino looked at you expectantly. And with a single click, Shino ushed you inside.
A second round of drinks were already on the table by the time you took your place in between Shino and Shikamaru. Despite still being a bit uneasy, as you glanced around the table, you couldn’t help but feel a certain amount of warmth beginning to grow in your chest. Naruto and Lee turned to you, mischief shining in their eyes.
“We’re gonna order the whole menu, right?” Naruto looked at you expectantly, holding up the laminated menu like a holy prize. You let yourself laugh, nose crinkling up as you nodded.
“Of course!”
***
You seemed happy. Or at least that’s what Shikamaru thought. The appetizers kept coming and the more you ate the more you spoke. Shikamaru wondered if this is what it would have been like if anyone came with you the week before. As much as he’d like to think so, he knew that if he bothered to ask, you both would come to the same conclusion. By far, this was nicer.
A few figures walked past outside. Shikamaru’s irises drifted to the corner of his eye as he glanced out the window where his gaze fell onto Kiba. Ino, Choji, Sai, and Hinata encompassed the group that crowded around the Inuzuka, but even though chatter surrounded him, his eyes locked with Shikamaru’s through the glass. Their passage past Shushu-ya felt slowed in time. Shikamaru slowly rose from his seat. You tugged at his sleeve.
“You’re not leaving are you, Shikamaru?” A small, hopeful smile clung onto your lips, oblivious to the world outside of your little table. You stared up at him with bright eyes. Shikamaru leaned over, his breath ghosting the shell of your ear as you laughed with the others. You tilted your head to better hear him. He tapped a box of cigarettes on the table, his lighter tucked on top under his knuckles.
“I’ll be right back. Smoke break.” You nodded before turning back to the table, unsuspecting.
Kiba fell to the back of the group and gave a feeble excuse to allow the others to go on without him. By the time Shikamaru stepped outside, the rest of the crew had left, expecting him to catch up soon. Kiba positioned himself away from the window and Shikamaru leaned up against the side of the building. He plucked out a single cigarette before offering the box to Kiba, who shook his head and held up an open palm. Shikamaru flicked the top back on the pack before shoving them back into his pocket. He lit the rolled paper, taking a deep, audible inhale before blowing out the smoke in a line. Kiba stood by: watching, waiting. Shikamaru tilted his head up, puckered lips relaxing as the last of the smoke poured out of the side of his mouth.
“That’s a pretty nice thing you set up in there,” Shikamaru stated simply and brought his cigarette back up to his lips. Kiba sputtered as he crossed his arms.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he scoffed, turning away to glance momentarily at you through the side of the window as you dined with your friends, “And even if I did, I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal out of it.”
Shikamaru raised a brow, but said nothing as he tapped a flurry of ashes onto the ground. Kiba had always been as stubborn and defensive as he was readable. His jaw clenched and his fingers dug slightly into his bicep. Kiba nearly pouted. Shikamaru studied his friend and found guilt, but that was something that Kiba already knew so Shikamaru wouldn’t go through the trouble of pointing it out. Shikamaru took another huff.
“No one’s making a big deal out of anything.”
Kiba’s nose crinkled. With his keen sense of smell, he couldn’t hide his disgust at Shikamaru’s poorly scented habit.
“Do you have to do that right now? When we’re talking?” Kiba barked, but Shikamaru simply shrugged off the edge to his tone. Shikamaru’s head turned to Kiba as he blew his smoke directly into Kiba’s face. The Inuzuka stepped back, waving his hand around wildly in the air in an attempt to disperse the stench into the air.
“This was my excuse to come out here. To talk to you, loser.” Shikamaru expected Kiba to put up a fight, but received nothing. Too wrapped up in his own thoughts, Kiba went quiet. He leaned back against the wall like Shikamaru with his head bowed toward the ground. He tapped his foot.
“Can’t a guy do something nice for someone and not make it some big deal about love or friendship or whatever?” Shikamaru threw the butt on his cigarette on the ground and squelched it out with his shoe.
“Wow,” he mouthed as he began to head back towards the door of Shushu-ya. He laid a hand on Kiba’s shoulder as he passed by, deciding to stop for a split second. “You know, Kiba, I wasn’t exactly listening this whole time and quite frankly, I don’t care—” Kiba scowled. —“but I do know that I didn’t say anything like that and that you, maybe, need to sort out your shit. All of you do and I don’t have the time, the energy, or the care to do anything about it.” Shikamaru gave Kiba a pat where his hand rested and went back inside.
When he came in you were waiting to greet him back to the table. A small plate of dumplings sat at his spot. He couldn’t help the tiny, blushing grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“About time!” you yelled, “I didn’t know how long I could fend Naruto and Lee off of your food, Shikamaru!”
Shikamaru hummed, taking his seat next to you. You clicked, but Shikamaru couldn’t help but notice that the little noise became more scarce as the night went on.
You all ate your dinner together.
Notes: I’m not too sure how much I like how this turned out but I suppose I can’t keep postponing it. Hopefully with a bit of time, when I revisit it I’ll like it more.
Thank you to everyone who stuck by this series and gave your love and support. I’d ideally not like to milk it (because I think then people would get sick of this series), but maybe if I have some good ideas I’ll make like an epilogue or something. I hope that y’all got some sort of nice message about this. Maybe in time I’ll let y’all know what spurred this series on.
Lots of love, friends.
Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed and otherwise supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.
192 notes · View notes
antebunny · 4 years
Text
Wei Wuxian, worst supervillain
(Full series here).
-
Lan Wangji has never met a worse supervillain.
He finds this rather remarkable considering that he has, during his tenure as Hanguang-jun, fought quite a large number of villains. The “super” part of supervillain can of course be determined by the villain in questions’ power level, which is what separated Wen Ruohan and Jin Guangshan from their minions and successors. Certainly some of them, like Wen Ruohan’s two successors, Wen Xu and Wen Chao, lacked style, as did Su She and Jin Zixun. But what they lacked in style, each and every one of them made up for in sheer villany. Even Wang Lingjiao didn’t hesitate to kick a puppy she saw on the street.
The Yiling Patriarch, on the other hand. Well.
“My evil plans will not be foiled this time!” The Yiling Patriarch shouts, black robes billowing in the howling wind. 
Lan Wangji isn’t entirely sure where the wind is coming from. He suspects a military-grade fan. 
The Yiling Patriarch stands on edge of the city skyscraper, a violently red sun setting dramatically behind him. His wild black hair obscures the red light crackling in his eyes. His black mask obscures his face, but doesn’t manage to obscure his evil smile. He pauses his villainous speech briefly to play shrieking flute music, warbling, lightning-fast scales and melodies; very thematically appropriate.
It cannot be said that the Yiling Patriarch lacks style.
Lan Wangji hovers in the air in front of the skyscraper, his white robes floating elegantly around him. As he pulls out his guqin, corpses flood the streets below. They’ve all been summoned on the Yiling Patriarch’s command. On streets throughout the city are Zewu-jun, Chifeng-zun, Sandu Shengshou, and another dozen of Lan Wangji’s fellow superheroes. No other supervillain has forced so many heroes into action all at once.
“You have no hope! My corpses cannot be stopped!”
It cannot be said that the Yiling Patriarch lacks power. Not even Wen Ruohan was as powerful as the Yiling Patriarch is now.
What the Yiling Patriarch does lack, however, is something that Lan Wangji struggles to explain.
-
It’s on a stormy night that Lan Wangji finds the Yiling Patriarch leaning against the side of a building, deep in some alleyway, clutching his side with one hand. His breath comes out in erratic bursts, and his sopping wet hair runs down his face and his back like ink down a brush. His silver eyes are dull when he sees Lan Wangji land lightly on the paved ground, clear umbrella held above his head, moonlight filtering through the plastic. They barely register shock, or fear, or anything else.
The Yiling Patriarch slowly pulls his hand away from his ribs, lets both of them hang by his side. Black liquid drips off his hands like ink onto paper.
“Have you ever seen blood in the moonlight, Lan Wangji?” The Yiling Patriarch asks. “It appears…” He lifts his hands. Raindrops pelt his palms, rinsing away the dark liquid. “…Quite black.”
Lan Wangji looks at him. The Yiling Patriarch tilts his head back, closes his eyes. He lets rain pelt his face as well, as if it could wash him away.
“No one at the prison died,” he says.
“There’s that, at least,” the Yiling Patriarch murmurs after a pause. 
Lan Wangji has never met a villain who cared if people lived or died. So there’s that, at least.
Are his robes blacker than they were just a minute ago? Between the rain, the night, and the already black robes, Lan Wangji cannot tell. 
The Yiling Patriarch cracks open an eye and squints at Lan Wangji. “You really do glow, you know that, Hanguang-jun? It’s unfair.” He sighs, then pulls a face and clutches his side again. “The joys of gut wounds,” he mutters under his breath. His eyes close again, and his knees start to tremble. “Ah, but I kind of broke your super prison, didn’t I?” The Yiling Patriarch says, louder. “So where are you going to put me?”
The Yiling Patriarch doesn’t move from his position against the wall until the rain abruptly stops falling on him. He opens his eyes again, and this time sees Lan Wangji holding his umbrella over him.
“I will walk you home,” Lan Wangji says. 
“Walk me home?” The Yiling Patriarch echoes. “Lan Zhan, you’re supposed to take me in. What are you talking about?” 
But he doesn’t resist when Lan Wangji pulls his arm over his shoulders. Nor does he see the way Lan Wangji’s ears turn bright pink.
“I will walk you home,” Lan Wangji repeats.
The Yiling Patriarch is a terrible villain.
-
The tip of Wang Lingjiao’s five-inch high heel jabs into the side of the dog currently begging at the hems of her lilac robes. 
“Excuse me,” she says peevishly. “Do continue,” she says to Lan Wangji.
“This conversation is over,” Lan Wangji snaps, fists clenched.
She rolls her eyes. “Oh, come on,” she says. “Just because a stupid mutt interrupted?” She bats her eyelashes at Lan Wangji. “We were at the part where you convince me to join your side? Hanguang-jun? Hanguang-jun! Lan Wangji!”
Lan Xichen finds him later buying a leash for his new pet dog. “Wangji,” he says, on the exasperated side of fond, “why do you insist on debating morality with villains?”
Lan Wangji doesn’t glare at him, but he does clutch his new dog closer in his arms. 
“Do you really think you can just make one of them see reason if you name enough philosophers?”
“Yes,” Lan Wangji says stubbornly.
-
Lan Wangji is halfway through his sentence when the Yiling Patriarch starts moving. 
One moment, he's leaning against the black lamp post, very intently listening to Lan Wangji’s lecture on ethics. There’s a smirk playing at the corner of his lips that Lan Wangji very definitely isn’t thinking about. Nor is he thinking about the way the light from the lamp post shines on the Yiling Patriarch from above until he glows, or how it feels to have all the notoriously frantic, unfocused energy of the Yiling Patriarch directly entirely at him.
The next moment, the Yiling Patriarch’s eyes widen behind his mask, and he practically teleports on top of the pole. 
“Not that I’m not enjoying our discussion on morality,” the Yiling Patriarch calls down nervously, “but. There’s a dog.”
Lan Wangji blinks. He looks down. A stray dog wanders past. It stops at the bottom of the post and sniffs. The Yiling Patriarch whimpers.
Lan Wangji removes the dog.
-
The moans and roars of corpses rise up from street level. The Yiling Patriarch flicks all the hair out of his face, then throws his head back and lets loose a suitably evil cackle. “Comply with my demands, Hanguang-jun…or else!”
“Or else what?” Lan Wangji asks.
“Or else…uh.” The Yiling Patriarch thinks for a moment. The wind blows his hair back, and Lan Wangji sees a flash of metal tucked in the Yiling Patriarch’s right ear. “Fava beans! I will…eat your liver with fava beans? Wait–”
“Hannibal Lecter,” Lan Wangji interrupts. He nods knowledgeably. He’s done his research. Extensive research, as it’s not a topic he’s ever encountered before. “Additionally, “‘Have you ever seen blood in the moonlight? It appears quite black.’ Also Hannibal Lecter.”
The Yiling Patriarch’s cheeks flush dull pink. “Both of them? Really?” He mutters under his breath. He never seems to realize that Lan Wangji can still hear him. He clears his throat. “Ahem! I am a god, you dull creature–”
“Loki, The Avengers,” Lan Wangji interrupts again, pleased with himself. 
The Yiling Patriarch points his flute at Lan Wangji, flustered. “Well then…do what I say or all your base are belong to me! Wait. Fuck. No. Wen Ning,” he hisses. “What rubbish lines are you feeding me?”
“I am afraid I do not recognize that one,” Lan Wangji says regretfully. He’ll have to research that one once this is over. “Though I have unlimited access to all of our databases and records. As you would, if you joined us.”
The Yiling Patriarch pauses. The tip of his flute wavers. “Are you trying to bribe me to the heroic side…with library access?”
Lan Wangji considers this for a second. “Yes.”
The Yiling Patriarch wavers some more, and then he laughs helplessly, bright and clear. “Alright, Lan Zhan,” he says. “You got me there.”
295 notes · View notes
Text
Azriel ~ Different
Azriel x Reader
Summary: You have been having nightmares frequently and Azriel always is there to help you. This time, though, you finally open up about your nightmares and the things you experienced Under the Mountain.
Warning: Mentions of r*pe and sex*al assault. Please be wary.
Word Count: 1785
Tumblr media
Azriel POV
Her screams had woken me again.
"Azriel! Azriel, no!"
This was becoming a recurrent, nightly tradition. A tradition I wished would would just simply not be anymore.
I did what I always did, bursting into her room, Truthteller at the ready to fend off whatever ailed her but we both knew it was mostly for show. Still, I would never not rush to her side, never leave Truthteller behind for the sake of the fact that the one time I didn't would inevitably be the one time something was truly, physically wrong with her and I would kick myself for treating it as any other night - especially since the fear was certainly not all that unfounded.
But it was just a nightmare. Another nightmare.
'YOUR' POV
My screams had woken him again.
He had done the chivalrous thing of course, bursting into my room with Truthteller, prepared to fight the evil lurking in the shadows he couldn't predict or trust but we both knew nothing was there to fight, it was all in my head.
Another nightmare.
One like all the rest but this time...it was worse.
"Y/N" Azriel breathes, lowering the blade
"I'm okay" I shake my head, offering a weak smile, "Routine procedure at this point, right?"
I bite my lip, trying to hold the tears back and averting my gaze. It was usually at this point that Azriel would ask if I wanted him to stay but for some reason tonight was different. He closed the door, left Truthteller on the bedside table and climbed into bed with me immediately after, no questions, no waiting for an invitation.
Of course, I knew if I told him to leave he would do so. It was always my choice. But tonight it appeared maybe he needed this contact as much as I.
"You're safe" Azriel murmurs, gathering me into his arms.
I choke on a sob, curling into his side and resting my head on his bare chest. Usually, when he was shirtless it was an effort to keep focused but at the moment it was just further proof he was here, alive and free. It was proof he was safe.
"It's not my safety that scares me" I breathe. Once again, we were breaking from normal pattern. Previous nights, it had always been my screaming waking him, he would run in, ask if I wanted him to stay, I would agree and then he'd hold me until I fell asleep.
I never talked about the nightmares I had, never. Not even the first time...
"No!" she screamed, thrashing violently in the bedsheets, almost tearing them apart, "No, don't take-NO!"
"Y/N!" Azriel yells, bursting in through the door at the same time she awakens, clutching the sheets to her chest, sweat slick hair plastered to her forehead, tears streaming down in uncontrolled rivers of fear and pain, "Y/N, what is it?!"
"Nothing, Az, I'm sorry for waking you" she sighed, running a hand through her hair, "It was just a nightmare, I've had them for a while."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Azriel frowned, Truthteller lowering to his side.
"It wasn't necessary. I've been dealing with these since-before I got back."
"Would you..." Azriel trailed off, "Do you want me to stay?"
"No, I..." she began to reject the proposal but suddenly changed her mind, "Actually, yes, please."
Azriel nods, placing Truthteller on the bedside table before moving to open up the covers, having since nervously been put in some semblance of order as they had spoken but he stops mid-way noting that her resolve had shaken - that she was now shaking, violent sobs wracking her body.
"Y/N" Azriel said and the one word was enough to break her.
"Azriel" she sobbed, tears flowing freely again, face screwed up into an expression of unfiltered pain.
"Y/N" Azriel whispers, sitting on the bed and pulling her onto his lap. She wrapped her legs and arms around him, securing herself to him as she sobbed into his neck until the sun rose.
She had fallen asleep that way, her legs and arms secured around him in a tight embrace, tears dried and leaving her skin slightly sticky with the moisture.
He had placed her down in the bed after he had fixed the sheets with one hand, the other supporting her body, becoming limp each second sleep overtook her.
He had intended to leave but she had subconsciously clung to him with a grip so strong it had surprised him and rather than risk waking you or, worse, upsetting you, he had climbed into bed beside her, tucking her into his chest so her face rested right where his heart was.
He had found it a very fitting place for her to rest.
Azriel had done it every night since, every time a nightmare came around unless you wished otherwise, which had never happened as of yet. Even if you didn't scream out, his shadows were so attuned to you, he would sense it and come in anyhow - where you would be sitting cross legged on the bed, hugging yourself or crying or just staring at the ceiling with a dead expression on your face.
Having him with you, holding you in his arms, stroking your hair, legs intertwined and breathing synchronised. It was the best remedy for your fear.
A cure.
"Then what does scare you?" Azriel asks, his voice hesitant to bring up a memory that causes you pain.
"You do" I breathe, "My nightmares are always about you."
Azriel breathes in deeply, "I scare you?"
"No, no!" I rebuke, "No, not you personally! My nightmares always involve you...they..."
"You don't have to tell me" Azriel whispers
"I think I need to" I admit, "These dreams, they're obviously not getting better. Maybe telling someone...maybe telling someone will help."
Azriel waits patiently. Content to listen or to completely disregard everything you said if that was what you wished, the way he'd always been.
"Most nights, A-Amarantha comes back" I explain, stumbling over the name, "And this time she takes you instead of Rhys and other nights...other nights it had always been you that was taken."
"And she took you because she knew he was hiding something" Azriel confirmed, it was the little knowledge he did have of Amarantha and her motives, "So to punish him further, she took you, his only living relative, and..."
"And that's all you know" I nod, "But what you don't know is that...she didn't just punish Rhys. She punished me too."
Azriel stiffens in my arms, his hand momentarily freezing in it's soothing stroking up and down my spine.
"If any of it gets to be too much, I can stop" I say
"No" Azriel shakes his head, "You lived it. I can at least stand to hear about it, especially if it helps you."
"She used to...make me watch." I spat in disgust, "While she...basically raped Rhys I had to watch. Everything she did to him, the malice in her eyes while she did what she did, the enjoyment in knowing he was doing this not for her but to protect what he loved...Worse, we both had to pretend it was normal. That we enjoyed it. If we didn't, our facade as the Court of Nightmares would fall apart and we couldn't let that happen."
Peering up at Azriel, I stopped for a moment to assess his reaction. His eyes were hard as flint, like chips of hazel ice. He nodded softly, encouraging me to continue.
"On the odd occasion she would also...bring me into the scene. It wasn't often, she didn't like it all that much herself it was mainly just to put us on edge. Thankfully, she never made us do anything...to each other. I never touched Rhys once nor he me and I'll always thank the Mother for that but she would still...it was still..."
"You don't need to say what it was" Azriel cuts in, "I know."
Traumatising.
It was traumatising.
"So, when the nightmares come about. It's not Rhys under Am-under her. It's you. I see her with you. Some nights you're faking it like we had to, others you're genuinely enjoying it, and sometimes you're...screaming and-and begging her to stop-" My tears choke off the words and I sob loudly.
He pulls me ever closer in response, hushing me as his hands stroke my hair, "That's not me. It was never me."
"What if it could be?" I cry, "What if another one of her comes around one day and they take you. I couldn't bear it-"
"You could. I had to" Azriel admits. Both comforting and upfront. He would never lie to you and to say it would never happen again could be a lie, "When you were taken, I...Cauldron, I would always try to leave Velaris, damn the consequences. It was always Amren and sometimes Mor and Cass who would pull me off the ledge. I couldn't stand it, thinking about what she could be doing to Rhys but, to you...it was worse. Infinitely worse."
"If it ever does happen, I need you to be strong" Azriel continues, "I will do everything in my power to keep it from happening but if the Mother decides that's how things play out...I will need you to be strong, to protect yourself because the idea of you ever being hurt for the sake of me...it's not right."
"It would be" I sniffle, "To keep you safe, I would do anything. I did. Rhys did."
"You'll never have to again" Azriel resolves, kissing the top of my head, "Never again."
I exhale loudly, making a sudden decision that could change everything.
"Azriel?"
"Mmm?"
"I love you."
"I love you too" His response was automatic. I mean, we had said it a dozen times but this...was different.
"I don't mean it like that" I admit, peering up at him sheepishly, "I'm in love with you. I have been for a...a very long time."
Azriel's silence spurs me on to speak more, explain myself.
"I understand if you don't feel the same and I'm sorry I never told you earlier but at first it was a crush and then...then I got taken and I was stuck without you for so long. After that, I knew it was love and not a crush on my part but I couldn't say anything. I just...I couldn't. But then you came in every night to help with my nightmares and that was-"
My words are cut off as Azriel takes my chin in his hand, dipping his head and kisses me. Soft, tentative, comforting. It wasn't the kind of kiss that made your toes curl or butterflies erupt, it was the kind of kiss that admitted everything words could never express.
He pulls back only slightly, leaving you nose to nose.
"I have always loved you" Azriel breathes, "From the moment I saw you barrelling into the Illyrian camps, bright smile and unruly attitude."
"I love you" I smile, tears sliding down my face, - happy tears, "So much"
"And I you."
After that, neither of you slept alone ever again.
Masterlist
275 notes · View notes