#it's too bad I couldn't reblog the 3rd one

[blogmatsu]

Based on the last 2 reblogs (there was supposed to be a 3rd one but tumblr keeps bringing up an error):

Is it me, or does it seem like the Ichimatsu Incident is a misunderstanding that will NEVER be cleared up to Osomatsu XDD?

This incident has happened once in the anime, and THREE other times in the games (there might be more, but I haven't seen all of them yet).

This is probably why Osomatsu looks like he's had enough of both Karamatsu and Ichimatsu in the last ep of season 1 when Ichimatsu ends up being the only one supporting Karamatsu.

that is a face that looks like he's seen it all and is too familiar with it at this point.

[halsteadlover]

Shadows From The Past

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by anon: I don’t really know if this is how you make a request if it’s not correct me but would you possibly be able to write one where Jay has an episode because of a criminal that took tours in Afghanistan as well, like an episode in the show in season 5 I think. Where the criminal gets shot and dies and J is the only one there and you go to check up on him and he points gun at you because he’s having an episode idk I really don’t know, but could it end in him apologizing a lot and feeling really bad then just cuddles?? Thank u and uh if you see this could you pls just remind me when it’s done possibly. Thank you so much!!!❤️

• Warnings: mention of blood, gun, PTSD.

• Word count: 5825.

• A/N: hi everyone! Long time no see. I know this is ugly af but I tried my best. I hope you’ll like this piece anyway, please let me know what you think. Comment, like, reblog if you want this would be amazing! Thank you so much for your support, and for everyone who stayed even if I upload once every 100 years 😭 I love you all so much ❤️

Jay had always tried to do his job the best he could, giving everything in his power to every case he worked on, always trying to focus on nothing but bringing justice to the poor victims. He had always tried to be as objective as possible, leaving emotions out and thinking and planning every move to make lucidly. Some cases were easier, others a little less.

There were moments of his life, some shadows of his past, that still echoed in his present. They sometimes came back so strong and overbearing, they made him risk his present, all his progress and happiness, even his future.

And the case he was working on was one of those moments.

Following the discovery of a man's body, Intelligence was assigned to investigate this case. After questioning witnesses, analyzing the victim's life, talking to family and friends, suspicion fell on a person Jay met while serving overseas in Afghanistan. In fact, Don Stanton had served in the 3rd Battalion of the 75th Ranger Regiment at the same time as Jay, but he had never had the opportunity to speak in depth with him.

In fact, after returning home, Don didn't do too well, soon spiraling into drug, alcohol and illegal dealings.

From the moment they found out about this suspect, Jay felt something stir inside him, though he didn't know exactly what. He tried to disguise it or he would’ve estranged from the case but he couldn't hide his feelings from you, who knew him like the back of your hand and had learned to know every single nuance of him and recognize when something bothered him.

To try to get Don to confess, Jay offered to go undercover, build a relationship with him in a way that would make him trust him, and no one could be perfect for this role except someone who had gone through the exact same shit during the war as Jay.

It goes without saying that you didn’t agree with this decision at all and Voight would’ve even agreed with you if this wasn’t the only lead you got to catch the killer.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you asked Jay as you adjusted his hidden microphone in his shirt. “You can always back out, someone else will go or we will find other leads to catch him.”

Jay sighed. “It's an undercover operation like any other Y/N, if anyone can do it it's me.”

You looked up at him, your hands still on his chest as you tried to analyze his expression on his face. “No baby, it's not an operation like any other. The suspect served in your own battalion, you met him and you can tell from a mile away you're upset about…-”

“Goddamn Y/N stop it! You've been asking me if I'm okay since this morning! I'm fine, I don't need a babysitter!” he snapped raising his voice and this sudden outburst made you withdraw your hands in shock.

Jay immediately regretted those words the instant he said them. He noticed the sad expression that appeared on your features and felt guilty like few other times in his life. “Baby… Shit…” he sighed again, running his hands over his face in frustration. He cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I don't know what has gotten into me. I’m sorry baby.”

You remained silent for a few seconds, looking at him for a moment before speaking. “Jay I'm just worried about you, I know it's hard for you but I want to help you… It breaks my heart seeing you like this,” you mumbled softly, your throat tight in a knot, your heart heavy.

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry love. Come here,” he whispered, pulling you into a hug and holding you with all the love he could. “It'll be okay. I can do it. You don't know what people like him are like, like me, he won't trust anyone and if there's someone who can make him confess it’s me. We served together, we saw the same crap, I can understand him,” he continued, pulling away from the hug and looking into your eyes.

You looked at him intensely, as if you wanted to read inside him, trying to discover a shred of hesitation or uncertainty.

“Jay, you are not like him, he is an alleged murderer, drug addict and alcoholic, you are a decorated detective. Don't even think for a second you're like him, okay?”.

He caressed your hair, and then nodded, smiling slightly. “I know, I know.”

“If something, anything, goes wrong you're out, you understand me?” you threatened him, pointing a finger at his chest.

He chuckled, caressing your cheeks. “Yes ma'am. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

If only he believed it too.

The truth was, Jay's mind was racing and image after image, memory after memory, everything seemed to be resurfacing, moments of the past he wanted to forget at all costs but which was about to overwhelm him like a river in flood.

He didn't want to talk to you about it, he knew he'd get over it – just like he had all time – he didn't want to worry you any more than you already were.

While he was in the car waiting for Don Stanton to show up, he read the message you sent and a small smile crept onto his lips.

From Baby D💕, 3.13pm

Be careful love. I'm here for whatever you need. I love you.

That message made the abyss in his heart grow and a feeling of guilt took over him. But the way he loved you, God, he didn’t know what he would’ve done without you.

From Jay, 3:16pm

I love you too babe, more than anything and everyone. Everything will be okay.

He put the cell phone back in his trouser pocket, trying to concentrate exclusively on the case. He sat in the car for about ten minutes before seeing Don in the distance. He looked around suspiciously before approaching Jay's car and quickly getting in.

“Drive,” Don ordered, and Jay gave him a confused look.

“Where? What is going on?”.

Don snapped his eyes at Jay. “Didn't you say you wanted a job? Drive then. Go straight, at the first crossroads turn left, I'll tell you from there where to go next.”

Jay understood there was no way to get an explanation and after letting out a sigh, he started driving, aware that you and the rest of the team would’ve followed him from afar.

After driving for about twenty minutes, he and Don arrived at an abandoned building. It looked shabby and it must’ve been unused for at least twenty years.

“What the hell is going on Stanton?” Jay asked, for the umpteenth time. Don stopped in his footsteps, turning to him, looking annoyed and angry.

“What part of ‘I'll explain in a moment’ you don’t understand?”.

“I won’t do anything until you explain to me what hell is going on. This place is clearly a mile away from legality and I'm not risking my ass for whatever bullshit is going on here. So either tell me what's going on or I'm out.”

Don sighed, glancing between Jay and the building, looking uncertain, even almost frightened. Jay noticed this and realized whatever was going on, they weren't alone and that there was nothing good about that abandoned building.

He approached Jay, walking fast and hands in his trouser pockets. “Then leave.”

“C'mon man talk to me...”.

“Damn it! I'm in deep shit man, I can't back out!” he exclaimed in despair.

“Why? What did you do?”.

They were all at the edge of their chairs as they listened through Jay's microphone conversation, knowing that a little nudge was enough to get Don Stanton to confess.

“Don, talk to me. I can help you, I know you're not doing well, I totally understand. You don't have to do anything, whatever it is...”

“You can't help me… I… I fucking killed a man!” Stanton exclaimed loudly, running his hands through his hair “But it wasn't my fault! They forced me! I… I really needed the money…”

There were some moments of silence in which you and Voight exchanged a look. He confessed, but why didn't Jay arrest him?

“What are we going to do here Don?” Jay asked, trying to stay calm as his heart was pounding.

“They gave me another job. A gang member… They want me to kill him and they’ll pay me almost ten thousand dollars.”

“Don, for fucks sale! No life is worth this money! How can you do this? You were a fucking soldier, you risked your life to protect others, to protect this country and now you're the one hurting people!” Jay exclaimed, more angrily than he would’ve liked.

“I know! I know! They've foreclosed on my house… I'm out of money… I need it man…” Don muttered.

“Halstead what are you waiting for? Handcuff him,” Voight ordered over his mic but Jay didn't seem to listen, in fact, he didn't even seem to be on this planet anymore.

You were worried sick, your stomach was in a vice. You knew Jay couldn't do this, he was too involved to be able to deal with all of this, to deal with his past.

“Voight we have to do something,” you said, turning to your now impatient boss.

“Let's just wait few seconds.”

But when you saw Jay enter the building your heart stopped for an instant and fear took over. Before Voight could say anything, you leapt out of the car at lightning speed, waiting for no one, thinking of no one but Jay.

You pulled out your gun from your holster before entering the abandoned building. It was larger than it appeared externally and at first sight there was no sign of Jay.

Your heart was beating so hard you could hear it pounding in your ears and with every step you took, fear ate you more and more. What the hell was he thinking? Why did he come in here alone with a criminal?

As you climbed the creaking stairs to the first floor, a shot rang out from the walls and you jumped. “Oh my god,” you murmured in a trembling voice before starting to run as fast as possible towards the place where the shot came from. Your mind began to project images of Jay lying in a pool of his own blood, dying, and the very thought made you die inside.

God let him be okay, please.

Once you climbed to the third floor, however, you saw him in the distance but before you could take a step towards him or even take a sigh of relief, a bullet was fired in your direction, forcing you to take cover behind a pillar.

A gun fight with some men ensued, and though you knew you had to focus on saving your own life, you couldn't help but glance at Jay from time to time, noticing him hunched over Don Stanton, trying to revive him.

The rest of the squad arrived at that moment and you managed to take down three men who were shooting at you. You approached Jay while the others explored the rest of the building for anything suspect.

“Jay,” you called but he didn't seem to hear you as he tried to stop Stanton's bleeding, “Jay,” you called him out again but still nothing, no answer. So you placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to make him aware of your presence but that touch made him stiffen and you almost had a heart attack when he pulled out his gun and turned, pointing it at you.

“Woah!” you exclaimed loudly, spontaneously raising your hands to let him know you were unarmed, “Jay, what the hell are you doing?!”.

His gaze was fixed on you but he wasn't really looking at you, his eyes were empty, without the light that characterizes them, his forehead was wet with sweat as his chest rose and fell quickly as if he had run a marathon.

“Jay put that gun down. It's just me. Can you hear me? Everything is fine.”

You continued to speak but your voice reached far into his ears which continued to ring incessantly. You didn't dare take a wrong step, or try to get him to put down his gun because you knew Jay wasn't there right now, that his mind was unconscious and his body uncontrollable. He was still in war and he saw you like an enemy and not his girlfriend.

But that didn't make the moment any less scary.

Jay, the person you most trusted in the world, with whom you felt safest, was pointing a gun at you and anything could trigger him to shoot you. You've never felt so small and helpless, even after facing the most dangerous and depraved criminals, you felt so scared and intimidated.

He'd had similar episodes, where the PTSD made him lose touch with reality, but he'd never come to that, never pointing a gun at you and threatening to hurt you.

“Jay!” you almost screamed and only then did Jay seem to come to his senses.

When he realized he was pointing his gun at you a wave of guilt fully overwhelmed him and he dropped the gun from his hands in disbelief at what he had just done.

What the hell had he been up to? Was he really point a gun at you? The love of his life?

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe he was capable of doing such a thing and as he watched your face contorted in an expression of pure fear and terror, as he watched you back away until you ran away, he realized he seriously needed help.

-

The case was finally closed but never like then it left you an unbridgeable abyss inside you.

Since you'd left that building you'd been trying to avoid Jay even though he'd been trying hard to talk to you. You knew it wasn't his fault, that what happened was just a consequence of everything he'd been through, that knowingly he wouldn't do anything that could hurt you.

But that episode had shocked you more than you could ever admit and the image of that gun pointed at you continued to haunt your mind.

You were at your house, sitting on the couch staring at nothing in particular, contemplating whether to respond to Jay's many texts and calls. You knew you had to talk to him, you couldn't avoid him forever, but you needed some alone time first, to digest everything that had happened.

But when the bell rang you understood this was not going to happen.

You stood up and your heart skipped a beat when you saw through the peephole it was Jay. You took a deep breath and opened the door, realizing you couldn't avoid him forever and sooner or later you had to deal with the confrontation.

Jay was a walking disaster.

He didn't know what to say, what to do, how to act and especially when he noticed the way you kept avoiding his gaze, he panicked even more. You made room for him to enter and he felt his heart break when, in an attempt to say hi, you pulled back slightly.

“Uhm… Hi… Come in,” you murmured nervously before going to sit back on the sofa.

Jay closed the door behind him, walking over and sitting next to you. You brought your knees to your chest and he didn’t miss this gesture, he didn't miss the way you tried to distance yourself from him, how you tried to protect yourself by moving away from him.

“How are you feeling?” you asked feebly, finally looking up at him and a chasm opened inside you as you saw his tired, destroyed eyes, the melancholy expression on his face.

“I'm fine but...”

“No Jay,” you interrupted him “Don't start with these lies, you know I can't stand them. You pointed a damn gun at me, you are definitely not fine.”

You knew it was tough, but it was time for him to face the shadows of his past that kept haunting him, it was time for him to face reality and realize he wasn't good at all, that he kept lying to himself and pretending to be in a state of well-being which, unfortunately, wasn’t true at all.

He sighed and it was him who lowered his gaze that time, unable to look in your eyes anymore. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans before resting his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. He was silent for a moment before returning to his previous position.

“You're right…” he murmured, almost afraid to admit it aloud, “I… I'm not okay I know, I’ve realized it… But Y/N, darling, I just want you to know I would’ve never done that… I would never hurt you…”

“Jay…” you sighed “I know that, but… But what if you won't regain control of yourself next time? What if you won’t come to your senses and shoot me?”

“No! No! Fuck… This will never happen again, I swear…”

“And how do you know this, Jay?” you asked, a lump in your throat, eyes brimming with tears as you tried to hold them back. “How do you know you’ll be able to stop the next time that in the grip of a similar episode you’ll point a gun at me again?”.

Jay had never experienced a worse feeling in his life. He always promised himself he would given his life to protect you, that he’d do everything in his power to keep you safe, that he’d rather die than know you were suffering.

He loved you more than anyone else in the world, more than he ever thought he’d love someone and knowing he was the one who tried to hurt you, destroyed him. He’d never forget the expression of fear, terror and pure shock with which you looked at him in that damned building, it would’ve haunted him forever.

“I would never hurt you Y/N, you… You are the most precious thing in my life. God, I'd die to protect you…” he babbled in desperation.

“I know, Jay. I consciously know this,” you answered, putting your feet on the ground and approaching him without touching him. “I want to help you, but...”

“But what?” he whispered, his green eyes bright with tears as he looked at you. A tear slid from your eyes onto your cheek but you immediately wiped it away before you spoke again. “You want to leave me right? You are afraid of me?”.

You remained silent for a moment.

“Y/N I… You can't leave me please, I can't do this without you, I need you. You're the only person I'm still here for, helping me through this shit… Please…”

You cried. “I have to protect myself Jay,” you wiped away another tear “I don't want to leave you, God. I love you so much…”

“But you're afraid of me,” he stated, swallowing the lump in his throat. He looked down at the floor and his shoes to try and mask the tears he couldn't control anymore and streamed down his cheeks. He stood up, suddenly feeling suffocated, and ran his hands over his face as he began pacing around the living room.

“Hey…” you said, standing up and approaching him. You placed your hands on his arms to make him stop and he directed his eyes at you. They were red and shiny from tears and God only knew how much it hurt you to see him like this, how much he didn't deserve all that suffering.

You placed your hands on his face, wiping away his tears with your thumbs. “God baby,” you whispered “I hate seeing you like this…”. He hugged you, squeezing you so tight it made you gasp for breath.

You hugged him back, putting your arms around his neck and letting yourself be cradled by that embrace. You stroked his hair while he hid his face in the hollow of your neck, letting go in a desperate and liberating cry.

“It's okay love, it's okay,” you whispered, as you too were crying, “Let's sit down.”

You sat back on the sofa and you hugged him, letting him rest his head on your chest as he let out all the anger – mostly towards himself – and sadness he felt.

“Cry all you want, I'm here. I don't want to leave, I'll always be here with you Jay,” you mumbled, caressing his hair. He wrapped his arms around your chest tighter, as if he was afraid to let you go.

“I'm so sorry my love. I didn't mean to scare you… When…” he sighed “When I realized what I was doing, the way you were looking at me…” he couldn't finish the sentence, because just remembering the expression you had in that moment pushed him over the edge again “God Y/N I will never forgive myself for what I did...” he got up, sitting on the sofa and running a hand through his hair “When I saw your face… That moment I understood I seriously need some help, I don't… I can't risk hurting you, losing you, I don't want you to be afraid of me. I want to be your safe haven, I don’t want you to doubt for even a second I can intentionally hurt you… I… I don't want you to look me with that terrified and fearful look again... I can't...”

“But I'm not afraid of you Jay, I know you were going through a lot , the case was heavy to deal with…” you tried to comfort him.

“Yes you do,” he smiled at you bitterly, eyes and nose still red from crying “No lies remember? You told me before and even now…” he tried to stop crying but failing “You hugged me and you were tense and the thing is, I can't even blame you… It's only my fault for believing all the shit the war brought me could just go away on its own and I will never be able to forgive myself for how I reacted, in that building, when you were putting my mic...”

“You weren't yourself,” you whispered.

“I know… But I won’t let you to suffer the consequences of what happens to me… But on the other hand I'm too selfish to let you go, I love you too much Y/N and I know if you're not here I… I'll never be able to face this alone.”

“But I don't want you to go through this alone,” you retorted, grabbing his hand with yours and intertwining your fingers as your eyes were on his. “Jay I will never leave you… You’re my whole life and I want to be with you at every step you take, I know it will be hard, I know it isn't easy, I know there is a long way ahead but we’ll do it together. I won't leave you alone… I was just scared in that moment, let's be honest, who wouldn't, but I don't want to abandon you, okay? I just need to know you’ll really, really, try to face these ghosts.”

“Absolutely, I don't want to hurt you anymore…”

“No baby, you don't have to do it for me but for yourself,” you didn't let him finish the sentence “Because you went though what no other human being can go through and you deserve to be happy, to fully live your life, to do your job serenely, you don't deserve to wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares. You are strong, one of the strongest people I know and if there is anyone who can do it, it’s you, love, okay?” you stroked his cheek and he nodded faintly.

“Promise me you'll really try? Not for me though,” you continued as he looked at you with all the love he felt for you. “I can take it, past the fear I know it's not your fault baby, you don't control it. I can't even imagine what you're going through, what you saw over there, anyone who didn’t experience it will never be able to, but I swear Jay I… I would die to give you all the happiness you deserve.”

“You are my happiness,” he retorted and you smiled feebly when you saw him calm down a bit “Tomorrow I’ll look for someone and start doing therapy, I promise I'll do it, for you, for me, for us.”

Your smile grew on your lips. “I know you will. I'm so proud of you.”

“So you won't leave me?” he whispered so softly he almost sounded like a child intimidated by the response he’d receive.

“No baby, never, I swear. I'd take a bullet for you if it means to make you happy.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” he mumbled. He placed his hand on yours which was still on his cheek, then bringing it to his lips and leaving a kiss on the back without his eyes ever leaving yours. “I love you so much Y/N, so fucking much I can't even breathe right now. I don't know what I did to deserve you,” you smiled again “I always want to see you smile like that, God… I can't even explain what you do to me. I… I want to make you happy as much as you make me happy. I'm so sorry baby, I'm sorry for everything...”

“Shh, it's okay, it's not your fault I want you to put it in this cute little head. I love you too Jay so much, more than you can ever imagine.”

You stayed on that sofa embraced for and indefinite amount of time, cradled in each other's arms. After some time you managed to get Jay to eat something before letting him take a shower, needless to say he was going to sleep over at your place.

You both got into bed and, due to the exhaustion, the intense emotions experienced that day, it didn't take long for Jay to fall asleep, his head resting on your chest as you held him and hugged him. But you couldn't sleep a wink, the events of that day still clear in your mind.

When Jay woke up in the middle of the night, it didn't take him long to realize you weren't there anymore. He sat up in bed and looked at the time on his cell phone, which read 1:32 in the morning, before getting up and walking towards the living room.

For a fraction of a second he thought he heard a sob but he thought he just imagined it. But when this sobbing sound was accompanied by a sniffling, he knew he didn’t imagine them at all.

He walked quickly to the living room and his heart skipped a beat when, in the dim light, he saw you sitting on the sofa, your knees drawn up to your chest as you cried. He turned on the lights and didn't miss the way you tried - in vain – to quickly dry your tears.

“Y/N… Baby… God, what happened? Are you hurt?” Jay asked after rushing over to you, kneeling right in front of you.

You mentally let out a curse, aware that you wouldn't be able to escape this. “I'm fine,” you replied though, hoping for a nano second he’d buy it.

“Oh baby don't lie to me, you don't cry if you're fine. Please talk to me, are you okay? What happened?” he continued to ask worried. He grabbed a handkerchief from the top of the coffee table and handed it to you, watching you intently as you blew your nose. He sat down next to you and started stroking your hair in an attempt to comfort you.

“Don't worry babe, it's okay. Nothing happened, go back to sleep you're tired.”

“How can you even think I'll leave you here alone?” he said “Wait, I'll go get you a glass of water.”

Before you could object, he was up and in less than no time he returned with a glass of cold water which you drank with pleasure. “You want another one?” he asked and after you mumbled a ‘no’ he took the empty glass from your hands and placed it on the coffee table. “Are you feeling better?”.

You nodded. “Seriously baby, I'm fine, go back to bed.”

“How about you stop lying to me and start telling me the truth? You're making me worry to death love.”

You sighed deeply, feeling the urge to cry coming back. “It's just… It's been a busy day and I needed to vent.”

Jay was silent for a moment, wiping away a single tear that slid down your cheek. “Talk to me baby, I'm here for you.”

You shook your head and then stood up. “No, there is nothing to say. Let's go to sleep, I'm getting tired too.”

“No, we're not going to sleep until you tell me what's going on,” he stood up too, looking at you with such intensity it almost took your breath away. God why did he insist so much, why didn't he just let you cry and forget everything?

“I told you Jay, I was just venting after today.”

“Yes, but it's not only that, I'm sure,” he retorted, taking a step towards you. “Baby don't you trust me? You know you can talk to me about anything, I just want to help you.”

“I-it's not that, of course I trust you.”

“Then talk to me,” he pressed, now on the verge of losing his mind “What...”.

“I don't want to bother you, you already have so much to think about.”

“Y/N I want you to listen to me very carefully now because I won't say it again,” he spoke, placing his hands on your face to force you to look at him. “There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you, and nothing, I say nothing, is more important than you. You never bother me and never will. You want me to be honest with you, to ask for help, but you have to do it too, you don't have to be afraid to tell me about something it’s bothering you.”

You started crying again and he hugged you, holding you close as he stroked your hair. “It's alright baby, I'm here. Cry all you want, let it go. I won't leave you.”

“It’s just…” you sobbed at a loss for words, letting go as a wave of guilt washed over you. You placed your hands on his bare chest as he continued to hold you.

“Y/N, please, I hate seeing you like this. What are you afraid of? Why don’t you talk to me?” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Because I feel guilty,” you answered so feebly you feared he didn’t hear you.

Jay placed two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him. “And why’s that?”.

Another sob escaped your lips and at that point you slightly moved away from him, no longer able to hold his gaze, his closeness. You ran your hands over your face and then through your hair, not quite knowing what to say.

“Because I was fucking terrified! And… And I feel guilty because I know what happened wasn't your fault, you weren’t yourself…” you sniffed as the tears continued to flow in rivers, leaving you not even a chance to talk “I know you’d never consciously do anything to hurt me but seeing you point that gun at me… Jay, I…” you sighed “I've faced criminals, murderers, but I've never been so afraid and terrified as today and for a moment I really thought you’d shoot me. The way you looked at me… God I can't get it out of my mind and I'm hating myself because it wasn't your fault…”

Jay stood there attentively listening to every single word you said as every second that passed he felt a part of himself die.

“That's why I didn't want to tell you about this, because I know you’re blaming yourself for everything and you're already going through so much Jay and I don't want to add this other burden on you...” you continued and at that point he approached you again, putting his hands on your cheeks and wiping away the tears with his thumbs as you did with him.

“Y/N…” he said your name as a little prayer “You really think I don’t know that? I know you, I know when something is bugging you, I know when something makes you feel sad. I saw the way you looked at me this whole evening, the way you were tense and I'm so sorry for putting you in this situation my baby. I hate myself so much for this, you didn’t deserve any of that,” he left a soft kiss on your forehead.

“And I love you so fucking much,” he continued “You're willing to suffer alone just to not make me worry but you don't have to. Your feelings are as valid as mine, you have to tell me when you're hurt, when you feel like crying, when you're scared even if I'm the cause. I want to listen to you and do everything in my power to fix what’s hurting you and I promise I will. We have a long way to go, you said it too, but we can't do it unless we're both honest with each other, if we don't express our fears, our apprehensions,” he said wiping away your tears as you did nothing but keep crying “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Y/N, you saved me from a chasm that I am trying hard to climb over, you are my lifeline and I want to be the same for you. I can never apologize enough for what I did today, but I promise I’ll do everything I can to put all that shit behind me. But you need to talk to me, okay? You are so fucking important to me and I'm okay if you're okay. I can't focus on anything else if I don't know you’re happy and to know that I need you to tell me everything that goes through your mind, and I will do the same… Okay baby?”.

You nodded and in response you pressed your lips onto his in a sweet, long-awaited kiss before hugging and squeezing him as if your life depended on it. He was right, God was he right about everything.

He was your everything.

Your sun, the love of your life, the reason for everything.

You were his salvation.

You were the light at the end of a dark tunnel, the first breath of fresh air after being underwater too long. You both knew that even in the most difficult moments you’ll be able to overcome everything and that you could always count on each other in joy, fear and pain.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @mrspeacem1nusone, @halstead-severide-fan, @allivzs

Jay Halstead tag list: @burgstead, @bebataylor84, @ares-kelani-wayne, @ixna-mikaelsn, @sande5098, @smoothdogsgirl, @withakindheartx, @jess2013, @maddu-oliveira, @lovemesomepietro, @onechicagodrawings, @jinxfan18, @ready-hit-it, @rainroo2, @tinfoilhat2719, @hehurst23, @upsteadlovingheart, @secondaryjob, @nevaehstreater18, @sophiatellerrhodes, @dedlund82, @kellykidd, @rippl3s, @stephanie708, @annahargrove, @smutlOver, @kuroe-san, @caroldanverwife, @baby, @nosy09, @luvreading67, @danielmarie, @saiyuo12, @nachodaze, @waywardhunter95, @fighterkimburgess, @ephemeral314, @mads-weasley, @itskellysev, @lovemedlife, @atarmychick007, @amazedbyitall, @glodessa, @xeleni-dutchnurse, @ossypooh, @itriedtoexplain, @randomwriter1021, @averyhotchner, @ellavanderberg, @mrshalsteadxx, @junevoidzombie, @nocturnalherb16, @croissantthief, @jayhalsteadsbadge, @youngblood199456, @dreamss-wavess, @halsteadloversworld, @laaaauuraaaaa, @firerusher, @itserickalove, @23victoria, @slytherlight, @goingwiththewind, @notanordinaryprincess95, @mel0809, @cadyfanninger, @acewritesfics, @iloveest, @instantpizzacat, @wickedlovely121

Click here to be added to the tag list ❤️

Main Masterlist

Jay Halstead Masterlist

Support me on Ko-Fi ☕️

Side blog -> @halsteadloverslibrary

[sonicasura]

Here's another crack idea that popped into my head. Persona 5's Ren Amamiya/Joker being the biological son of Pizza Tower's Peppino Spaghetti.

Is it dumb? Yes. Is it absurdly stupid and insane? Yes. Do I regret this? FUCK NO. Let Joker be half crazy Italian with an even more nutty father who WILL pile drive god if he has to. Also his last name for this shall be Spaghetti, Amamiya being his middle, cause I ain't half assing things.

(Putting a link to Part 2 here and make sure people check the reblogs for this as I added an extra page!)

Peppino is the anxious father that does his best to raise his kid despite the various issues he has to face. Whether it be finding a decent school, make sure there's some money for a little rare treat, or keep Ren's awful mother from breaking shared custody rules. Do not trifle with this man.

Any rat/mouse/raccoon in the restaurant? Those are Ren's pets who eat the insects and scare off the bad customers. (Kid does lemonade stands to buy pet friendly soap alongside basic necessities.) Peppino doesn't question it since they make his son happy and take care of the pests.

Ren absolutely helped around the pizzeria whenever he could. First time Peppino cries is when his kid made his first pizza. The second being a 12 year old Ren getting him a well made chef's hat for a birthday present. (You can say our boy already has Rank 3 proficiency.)

All the Pizza Tower weirdness can be considered normal for Joker as he doesn't exactly come from the Personaverse. (I wholeheartedly believe in Ren being a sheer cryptid, even more after seeing this comic.) His mother just dumped him there during her turn and left Ren in that neighborhood where he comes across Shido. Yes, Peppino absolutely lost it when his precious little Spaghetti didn't come home that night.

He looked everywhere for Ren and the events of Pizza Tower only put a big fat Stop Sign to that for quite awhile. Meanwhile the younger Spaghetti didn't have a fun time adjusting until Persona 5 truly kicked off. He wasn't thrown in a rigged court trial.

Ren just knocked Shido's lights out then fucking outran the cops like his Pops would on a 3rd lap game wise. He finds Leblanc and camps out there for two months. Well until Sojiro barely manages to drag Ren inside as his sanity(heart) couldn't handle this strange homeless teen facing the harsh elements. The kid running like an insane Usain Bolt when startled didn't help too.

Ren is absolutely homesick thus his Persona get to hear it the most. (I'm aware of the sheer irony with a French Persona having an half Italian wielder.) Arséne is very curious to meet Ren's father at some point and cackled upon hearing his charge's antics.

The other Thieves have no clue about how bizarre their leader's origins is. Funnily enough, Haru wholeheartedly believes in Ren's stories despite even Morgana considering it a crazy tall tale. (She got rewarded with a video of an 8 year old Ren having a breakdancing contest against his dad while sentient pizza toppings cheered them on.) The guy doesn't blame his other friends and is instead waiting for the chance to blow their minds like the gremlin he is.

Well Ren can thank Royal's Third Semester cause guess who shows up for the true boss fight?! A wild Peppino at Mach 4 speed about to pile drive his kid's former councilor. Haru is the only person not gawking when Ren's dad drags the unconscious man out before FINALLY being able to hug his kid.

Joker gets an extra gift than just him and his friends being able to keep their Persona. He can now visit everyone with a simple press of his phone. Sojiro and Peppino absolutely butt heads in a mostly friendly father flavored rivalry. (Ren doesn't notice at first as he's too busy showing One Shot Kill Medjed to Gustavo.)

Peppino absolutely fainted when his son drops an entire suitcase with enough money to not only pay off the debt but to even refurbish the diner and still have cash leftover. Maximum money perks can make Mementos a good place to grind. Ren always converted a chunk of his spoils to the appropriate currency so he can help his dad.

Peppino's Pizzeria is a secondary hangout for the Phantom Thieves and absolutely gets subjected to Persona shenanigans. Game Night is for everyone despite the fact Carmen/Milady/Arséne tend to cheat at cards. Peppino takes it as an excuse to do it too.

The older Spaghetti does his best to support his son and his friends. Whether it be making pizza that grant great stat buffs, help in battle if Ren can find a Golden Pizza Cutter whenever traversing a dungeon or offer some simple advice. Peppino will continue to drop kick anyone who gets in the way of that.

And this anxiety driven beat shall play at maximum volume.

[svtskneecaps]

on a whim i compiled screenshots of the code entity in (most of) its catalogued attacks (aka off the wiki page, but it's 2:30 am and i have a headache so this is not an exhaustive list). mainly what i was looking for was "is the name visible outside of the global chat?". today (june 30/july 1) it had no name.

i've compiled them here so someone smarter than me can find the correlation, if there is one. and then say it in the reblogs so i too can reap the knowledge sown

(and i apologize if the keep reading doesn't work on reblogs i don't know why that happens and it annoys the shit out of me; it should be right here)

April 14th, attack on Arin (Luzu), Foolish, Bad, and Dapper + attack on Roier, Mariana, JuanaFlippa, and Bobby - visible

April 15th, attack on Foolish, Bad, Max, Leo, and Dapper - not visible

April 16th, attack on Leo and Vegetta - not visible

May 3rd, attack on Cellbit (at favela) - visible

May 5th, attack on Phil, Richas, Leo, and Chayanne + Bobby death - visible

May 6th, attack on Foolish and Leo - visible

May 12th, graduation day (Ramon "concussion" day) - not visible

May 15th, Tallulah death - visible

May 16th, Dapper death - not visible

May 24th, Cellbit death - visible

May 27th, repeated attacks on Pomme (and binary code eats shit and dies to fall damage lol) - not visible

repeat, this is a non-exhaustive list. appearances i missed:

April 5th (attack on Phil)

April 14th (second attack on Dapper? couldn't find)

April 15th (attack on Missa and Chayanne? again, couldn't find)

April 16th (appears to Foolish, Max, Bad, and Dapper apparently?)

May 16th (attacks on maximus and etoiles)

May 31st (pomme's "death")

[littlelambdrgnfly]

Ok since you reblogged that one post I hope you know I reread The Sum of Them for the 3rd time, maybe like a month ago, up until the last chapter and i never finished it cause i didnt want to experience it ending again (if that makes sense), i wish it never ended. I wish they could play baby games forever but its so important it does end because the ending is soo beautiful but so devastating, and it's beautiful because its so devastating, and my heart cant take experiencing that again :'-(

i already sent a message on here saying that your fic was the first fic to make me cry, possibly the first piece of LITERATURE in general to make me cry (i could be wrong but i cant remember any piece before that), and it made me cry 2 times when reading it for the first time. It is truly my favorite piece of McLennon fanfiction, but the only reason i dont fully consider it mine is that if someone were to ask me, it'd be too taboo/freaky to say but its truly one of the most heartfelt and complex ways ive ever seen anyone portray John and Paul while also feeling completely accurate and realistic. My god. And i love so many of your other fics too but The Sum of Them really means so much to me and I cant even say that enough. i wish you could just live as me and be inside my mind to fully grasp how much of an affect it had on me, I dont think i will ever be able to explain it sadly </3. But just know out of every McLennon fic ive ever read (and ive read many), THAT one is my very favorite out of like 100+. The way you characterize them is just so completely different from any other fic ive read and its so intimate and raw and holy shit i dont even have the words. Sorry i know im rambling at this point but I just think about it a lot! Also your fics are the only fics i enjoy anymore, (recent) beatles fics have gone down the drain in my opinion and yours are the only ones i can be satisfied with because, as far as im concerned, anything you write is automatically in-character for them after reading The Sum of Them lol x) thank you so SO much for writing cause it's truly exposed so many of my own desires and hidden , sensitive parts of myself that couldn't be excavated any other way without your work 💖

Dude... this is legitimately one of the best comments I've ever gotten. I wish I could memorize all of this and replay it for myself whenever I'm feeling blue. Thank you so so much, it means the world to me! I think all writers insert their own thoughts and emotions into their work, and I definitely do that in all of mine, but especially The Sum of Them. This fic is basically my wishlist of things I would do with a partner, as well as coming to better terms with my own kinks, so I'm glad it's been able to resonate with people. I'm also glad that I managed to keep John and Paul in character, even if John is crying every other paragraph lmao! I totally get what you're saying about wishing I could experience what you did, I wish I could too. Sometimes I reread my fics with the mindset of someone reading it for the first time, but it's just not the same. I'd give my left tit for more writers on my level or higher who wrote bottom!John or even ABDL fics, I swear. I don't read a lot of fics these days, but I'm usually disappointed whenever I check the Beatles tab. I'm also really really bad at remembering titles and author names, so I never remember what fics that I like! Thank God for bookmarks. I definitely understand not wanting to tell people that this is your favorite fic though, lol! I've been writing Beatles fics for a long time, but I created a new account on AO3 when I started writing these fics. I'm comfortable talking about this stuff, but only with the help of an alternate profile. I'm really really happy to help people explore this side of themselves though-- too often fics like mine are just really gross over-the-top and completely unrealistic portrayals in my opinion, and I guess I wanted to bring something sweeter and more realistic to the table. <3

[pottersfia]

friends with benefits | theodore nott x malfoy!fem!reader

part two | part three

summary: you’re the adoptive child of the malfoy’s who has a crush on theo. smut with a plot. just read it i might make a part 2 :)

content/warnings: oral sex (both receiving), badly written smut? idk i’m still getting used to it

a/n: theodore nott is hot what can i say, please don’t forget to reblog!!

word count: 2,005

being related to the malfoys, even if not by blood, was not the easiest thing to experience. your biological parents had passed away when you were young and as they were close friends with lucius and narcissa, you were left with them. they brought  you up as their own and for as long as you can remember you knew yourself to be draco malfoy's sister.

this label came with a perception of you being just as cold, mean, and cruel as your brother. most of the time you put up the impression that these things were true, but you knew there were many differences between you. for one you were definitely not as cowardly as him. your bite was just as bad as your bark, but you weren't a mean person at all. you simply were unhappy with the way people treated you.

your situation made it hard for you to find friends, although you tried quite often. this meant that draco's friends became yours. they would never admit this but they definitely preferred you over draco.

your group remained as you, draco, blaise, pansy, daphne, and occasionally theodore nott. theodore wasn't incredibly close with anyone in the group but he had a sense of respect for them. he was more closed off and to himself than the others. nevertheless he became a close friend to you. you definitely enjoyed his company the most, and he was great to look at too but you'd never admit that to one of the few people you trust.

when it did come to people you trusted, daphne greengrass made her way on that list after befriending you in your 3rd year. she wasn't very fond of draco even though her sister, astoria, seemed to be obsessed with him. you two bonded over the fact that if they ever did end up together you'd be sisters (in law but still).

you and daphne were sat next to eachother in the slytherin common room when you saw draco come down from his dorm. you called him over.

"what?" he asked.

"do you still have my potions work? i need it back." you replied.

"right, it's in my room. you did it right, i don't know why you felt the need for me to check it."

"you're doing so well in this section i just needed clarification." he nodded with a small chuckle. "so can i go get it?" you asked.

"yeah go ahead. the only one in there is nott." you nodded with a smile and he walked off.

"is that smile so big because you know who is there or..." you rolled your eyes at daphne's comment and stood up.

"i'll be leaving for my potions work now. i'd rather not sit here and have you tease me for something dumb." daphne laughed as you made your way to the boy's dorm.

before you walked in, you knocked softly on the door.

"it's open, blaise!" he called out. you opened the door.

"it's not blai-" you stopped in your tracks at the sight in front of you. it really wasn't a big deal at all but there was theodore nott, shirtless, right in front of you. he was truly gorgeous and you couldn't pull your eyes away. you cleared your throat after a moment when he looked up at you.

"oh, hey y/n." he smiled. you smiled back slightly, still silent and still not moving. he was a little confused until he realized he was half naked.

"right, sorry, i should probably put a shirt on if it makes you uncomfortable." he made his way to his bed to pull one on before you interrupted.

"no!" you exclaimed. he looked back at you. "i mean, you don't have to. i'm not uncomfortable."

"like what you see then?" he chuckled. you wanted to laugh back to appear more calm but your face heated up because yes, you did like it.

"don't be ridiculous, theo." you forced out a single laugh and walked towards draco's bed. theodore was no idiot, he noticed your change in behavior and he enjoyed it. but to be 100% sure, he'd have to test his limits.

"what did you come in here for?" he asked.

"potions work. i had draco look over it." you said, holding up the piece of parchment.

"can i see it? i'm pretty good at potions myself." he said.

"didn't you say the last time you got an O in potions was in 4th year?" you smiled.

"i got better, ok? let me see it!" he held out his hand and you let out a sigh, walking to where he stood by his bed. you took the paper and you sat down on the edge of his bed in front of him. he scanned over it, most likely not even reading anything.

"it looks good. you're very smart, y/n." he said.

"i doubt you even read it." you replied, looking up at him. he laughed.

"sooo, what if i didn't?"

"sooo, that would mean you're wasting my time." you held your hand out to get your work back but he simply set it down on his side table.

"hey, wh-" your words were cut off when his finger turned your head to the side and up making you look back at him.

"or it could mean i want to spend time with you." his voice was slightly lower and it was hardly noticeable but the mood changed a bit. you let out a shaky breath, nerves getting to you. you've thought about being in this position but maybe you were reading into it too much?

"i don't blame you, i am amazing company." you quipped back and he smirked.

"yeah, you are." his hand left your chin, you softly bit your bottom lip, and the two of you held eye contact.

"can i tell you something crazy?" theodore asked. you nodded your head, not trusting your voice at the moment. he leaned closer to you, and with his voice in almost a whisper said, "i really want to kiss you right now." you couldn't believe it. you were speechless. you never thought he'd fancy you back but here you were.

"can i?" he asked. you slowly nodded your head. "i want a verbal response, y/n." your heart skipped a beat and your chest warmed up.

"yes. please kiss me." he wasted no time and closed the gap between you two.

his hands rested on your waist and yours on his shoulders. the kiss was sweet and nice, it was a bit nervous and that was evident as you both slightly pulled away, smiling.

you pecked his bottom lip and he pushed you softly to lay on your back, kissing you harder this time as he hovered over you.

his kisses spread to your neck as he focused on the sensation of your hands playing with his hair and the small noises you let out. his hands found their way under your shirt and you gasped quietly as they were slightly cold. he pulled away for a moment to look at you.

"is this ok?" he asked. you were going to nod but spoke up instead.

"more than ok." you helped him lift your shirt up off your body and watched as he stared at you.

"you're going to be the death of me." he breathed out. he went down to leave kisses on your chest and tits, caressing the skin under your bra with his thumb. he reached behind you as you lifted your body giving him access to the back of your bra. he unhooked it and pulled it off you.

"shit. you're so hot." he admired.

theodore licked your hard nipple and moved to the other doing the same. he played with them softly and looked back to your eyes.

"can i eat you out?" he asked.

"yes." you whimpered out. he smirked and reached for his wand. he let out a spell to lock the door and kissed you as he pulled your bottoms down. he went down between your legs and rubbed you over your underwear, making you squirm.

"someone's eager." he pulled them off and admired your wet pussy. he kissed although your inner thighs and finally licked right on your clit. you moaned out from the brief moment of relief.

"fuck~" you whined. he attached his mouth to you, circling around your clit.

"tell me what feels good." he said. you brought your hand to grip his hair, guiding him to lick up and down.

"mmm, theo." you brought up his hand to your mouth and he watched as you put his middle and ring fingers in your mouth. your tongue swirled around them, lubing them up. a string of spit connected you as you pulled them out. "finger me please." you let out. he did not hesitate to line up his fingers with your entrance. he slowly pushed in one finger and then the other as you adjusted.

you never enjoyed fingering yourself but his were so much longer and hit just the right spots. you were now a moaning mess. his mouth went back to your clit, sucking aggressively on it as he sensed you getting closer.

"oh my- mmm." you moaned as his fingers pounded into your pussy faster.

"be a good girl and cum all over my fingers for me." those words alone tipped you over to reach your orgasm. the boy smiled as you let out high pitched moans and whimpers. you pulled his hand away as you recovered. you panted and looked at him who was still hovering over you.

"i want to suck you off so bad right now." you said.

"then do it."

you pecked his lips as you pushed him beside you. he settled on the bed, leaning on the bed frame. you pulled his sweatpants off to see the wet spot on his underwear and his hard cock.

"i guess you really enjoyed making me cum." you smiled.

"so, so much."

"it's time for me to do the same to you." you pulled his underwear off and to the side. his cock sprung up and it was rock hard. precum was already leaking from his tip and your mouth was watering.

you took him in your hand and stroked slowly.

"you're so big.." you licked from the base to the tip and lubed him up with some of your spit, stroking again. you finally put him in your mouth, sucking slowly up and down. he threw his head back from the pleasure.

"fuck, your mouth is so warm."

you began to go faster, him leading your head. one hand was playing with his balls as the other gripped what didn't fit in your mouth. you looked up at him and made eye contact. the noises he let out were heavenly. as he got closer his grip on your hair got tighter.

"l-let me know, fuck... if it's too, uh, too much." he said, loosening his grip slightly. you grabbed his hand, signaling him to go hard again. you moaned around his cock at the feeling.

"gonna fill your pretty mouth up," his head leaned back and his monas were louder as you released into you. you eagerly swallowed, looking at his face the entire time.

"that was so hot." you said. theodore chuckled as his caught his breath. you got up to lay next to him. it was silent as you took in what just happened. the boy turned his head to look at you and you looked back.

"so does this mean anything?" you asked.

"what?" he gave a confused look.

"i mean, friends don't suck eachother off."

"oh, right." he thought for a moment. he'd honestly like to be something more with you but you kinda just had oral sex. that was way too soon.

"friends with benefits?" he questioned. it wasn't exactly what you imagined but that title meant he'd want to do this again, right?

"friends with benefits."

•

please don’t forget to reblog :)

[prttydolls]

Hello, Idk if your request are open atm, but I saw this tiktok and I was wondering if you could do an Draco x Reader, where during the battle of Hogwarts he can’t find you so he gets a little worried but once he sees that your okay he waits for u to come home every night after the war? (Sorrry if that doesn’t make any sense but I hope you get what I mean, if you can’t do it that’s fine too! 😅)

Come back to me (draco malfoy)

a/n ➪ Hope you enjoy and reblogs are welcome <3 thank u my dear mooties for helping me choose the ending! :) sorry if this is disappointing

warning(s) ➪ mentions of being missing, and war, death, children.

pairing ➪ draco malfoy x reader

The war was finally over.

The dark lord was finally dead, that means no more hiding.

All witches and wizards could live in peace, without a worry in the world.

Death eaters whom were forced were now free.

The reign of voldemort was finally over.

Draco quickly stood up from his hiding spot and hastily trying to find (yn), a few nights before the war they broke into a huge fight because "draco wasn't spending anytime with (yn)" and she suspected he was cheating.

He knew what he did was stupid, pushing her away. But he had to since if he didn't, she'd be caught up in all the problems caused by his father.

He ran through the castle, he saw other people finding their loved ones and hugging them. He wanted to be like them, he wanted to hug (yn) and never let go of her.

“(yn)? (YN)?!” he Screamed through the corridors, right now his parents were probably finding him. He couldn't give a damn, all he wanted was his girlfriend.

Panic rushed through dracos blood, he already searched the castle head to toe, he couldn't find her.

He stopped his tracks and saw the most precious thing in the world, her ring— or to be excact his ring on the rough ground.

(yn) never took off the ring, because she somehow felt safe whenever she wore it.

And it was the first time draco saw it without (yn) ʼs finger.

No.. It can't be..

Dracoʼs eyes slowly formed tears, she was gone.. She was dead now.. Draco kneeled down and sobbed “NO! She can't be dead! She's-she's just missing! R-right?!” his cries drew attention, other students and proffesors felt bad for him.

Now he was nothing without her.

Years passed, draco waited each night for her to come back to him, each time he did she never came back.

He felt so empty without her, he felt like he was missing his soul and heart. Only his body was making his alive til this day.

Draco moved out from his parents manor, and got a job as an auror. His parents begged him to move on, but he declined each attempt they did, he just couldn't move on knowing that she's still probably alive.

He sat down his dinning table alone, he looked at his surroundings it was so empty. He imagined if (yn) was still alive or with him right now, probably the both of them had kids and a happy fairy tale.

He cried for the 3rd time today, he really missed her. He can't do it anymore without her, he missed her hair, her voice, her body, her presence just her in general.

“(yn) please.. Come back.. Wherever you are please.. Just come back to be I miss you.” he sobbed while drinking the bottle of wine, chugging it down his throat.

He just can't do it anymore, he needed her.

The next day, he woke up with the biggest head ache. He didn't wanna go to work for today, but he had to since he had nothing to do anyways.

He stood up from the dining table and casted a spell to clear the table. He had been doing this by himself since he didn't want any elves.

He went to the bathroom and stared at the mirror longingly, he looked like a mess. For a second he saw (yn) at the back hugging him and smiling at him in the mirror.

His eyes widened and he quickly splashed water all over his face, he took a look at the bathroom once more she wasn't there.

He sighed and went on with his day after that, he did his usual routine close the door and lock it, go to work, and go home.

On the way to work he tried to ignore the thought of (yn) out of his mind, he kept repeating "She's gone, she's dead already."

Those words kept repeating until he accidentally bumped into someone.

“Oh-my gosh! I'm so sorry mr—” dracos heart dropped it was her voice. “Mister...” (yn) looked at draco as if he was a ghost.

No.. This can't be real (yn) is dead.... Is she?..

Draco wanted to hug her and never let go, but he just can't.. He doesn't believe that she's real.

“mommy! I got my candies now! We can go to grandpapa and grandmama!” a younger blonde with platinum hair like draco excitedly babbled and ran over to the girl on the ground. “oh hi baby!” (yn) smiled at the small blonde.

“(yn)? Oh my god I- I thought you died?” draco helped (yn) up and asked. “draco.. I- uhm I didn't.. How are you?” she replied.

I'm not fine, I miss you so much. I need you, please come back I can't sleep I've been getting nightmares about how you could've died.

Draco thought, but all he said was ; “I'm fine, how about you? Who's the kid?” gosh he felt so disappointed, she already moved on. “oh... he's yours..” She responded, draco's eyes widened, that little guy that's been eating candies behind them was his?..

“h-he's mine?”

. . . .

“please answer me (yn)..is he really mine?” he asked once more.

“yes.. draco he's your's.. before the war started I found out I was pregnant.” she said, she looked so embarrassed but draco didnt care he missed her voice so much.

Before she could say a word he hugged her pulled her and her child onto the child and draco hugged her for the first time in 5 years.

“im— I... I miss you so fucking much (yn).. I'm so sorry for pushing you away like that... Just please take me back” he pleaded.

“Ofcourse ill take you back, and I forgive you dray..” She looked so Inlove with him like she used to be back at hogwarts.

“may I kiss you?” draco asked for consent lovingly, she just nodded and slammed her lips onto his.

Scorpius saw them kissing and he looked disgusted. “ewiie! mommy?! That's gross eww” he said and imitating throw up sounds.

Draco and (yn) chuckled at the boy, they both kneeled down at scorpius height. “baby, this is your daddy.” (yn) introduced. “oh? Your my daddy!!” scorpius excitedly hugged the taller blonde.

Draco felt a new feeling he hadn't felt since before the war, love. He didn't feel empty anymore.

alternative ending! :) skip if you don't want angst.

Draco couldn't take it, he decided to try to go to readers old home. He hoped that she was still there, and if she isn't he'll just ask where she is.

He apparated to the old loft home that (yn) once lived in, he took a minute to knock on the door and when he did he finally breathed.

When the door was opened, it was her parents who opened it. He half expected it would be her, but hey atleast the door opened.

“Oh, draco.. What a pleasant suprise what do you need?” (mothers name) greeted, this was it draco ask her were is (yn).

“hello Ms. (yln), I was just wondering where is (yn)?”

The parents faces turned white at the mention of her name, (yn)ʼs father sighed heavily. “she— she passed away during the war.”he said with a small sad smile.

“ she-she passed?” draco asked, his heart dropped she was really dead, he can't believe it.

They both nodded at his reply, “oh.. okay thank you have a good day..” draco thanked them and left the house, no.

No, no, no, NO!

She was really dead, and now he had to face it but he can't. He can't live knowing that (yn) wasn't even alive anymore.

All he had to do was to face it.

taglist ➪ @dracoslittleangel @imabee-oralizard @f4iryluvy @lilytoyourjames @siriusblackstwin @thehalfbloodedwitch @grandnerdsharkduck @bigpoppajes @blackthunder137

[nifolution]

Forgive Me 1

Pairing: Steve Rogers & Mutant Reader

Summary: Steve desperately wants to make everything better, but is it too little, too late?

Warnings: Angst, smut, heartbreak, jealousy, hostage situation, some fluff

A/N: This is a sequel to Dirty Secret. This is a revised copy of my oc fic. It is still written in 1st & 3rd person. 18+ only due to smut. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated.

Dirty Secret Masterlist Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 1

[2 months later]

Here we go again. Seeing the familiar figure quickly duck into the alley, Bucky can only shake his head as he leaves the restaurant with his order. Every time he left the compound, Steve tried to follow him, hoping he was on his way to meet Y/N.

After securing his meal to his motorcycle, Bucky called out to Steve, “You have to stop doing this, you're not good at it.” Steve appeared out of the shadows looking weary and dejected. It was clear he hadn't been taking care of himself. His clothes wrinkled, his beard untrimmed. Bucky turned to face him, “Besides that, it's pointless. Y/N isn't even in the country anymore.”

“So you do know where she is.”

Bucky exhaled sharply, “Steve…”

The blonde suddenly found his shoes fascinating. “I need her back, Buck… I can’t believe I screwed up so badly, losing her the way I did. It still feels like a bad dream. I wish to god it was. She belongs in my arms and I don’t think I'll ever know what possessed me to push her out of them.”

“You have no one to blame but yourself for that one. You dug your own grave and packed the dirt on too.” Bucky seated himself on his bike. “She deserved more than what you gave her. It shouldn't have taken losing her for you to get over your Carter obsession.”

Steve could only nod, giving his friend a broken look. “I'll see you at home.” He turned and started back the way he came.

Bucky wasn’t sure what else to say to his friend. Things were still tense between them. Both for how Steve treated Y/N, and for shutting him out the way he did. The punk got stuck in his own head and refused help. His stubbornness was always his downfall. If he would have just talked to him, maybe he could have gotten through his thick skull earlier, before Steve destroyed everything.

Y/N’s absence was felt heavily among the team. They all missed her. Not just her getaway skills, but her friendship. She was always kind to everyone, always willing to be there, helping anyway she could. She cared for all of them and that love was missed. None of the others knew the real reason for her sudden departure. It was a hard secret to keep, but Bucky continued at her request. She didn't want any of them to look at Steve differently. After everything he put her through, she still wanted what was best for Steve. And Steve, well Steve thought Y/N was what was best for him. If only he pulled his head out of his ass sooner.

Still, Bucky couldn't help pitying his friend. He hated seeing Steve hurting so badly, but it was the punk’s own dumb actions that caused this mess. Steve was his brother, but he fucked up. Maybe some pain was due. Steve had been sullen and isolating himself since Y/N left. He hasn’t spent much time training or with the team. Bucky knows he wasn’t sleeping well because he can hear him crying most nights. He wasn’t going to bring it up though, Steve has been blowing up over small things lately. He didn’t want to tip him over that edge of grief he was precariously balanced on.

---------------

The weeks passing did nothing to dampen the all consuming regret Steve felt. Forgoing his morning runs, he would just lay there staring at the ceiling. Tired and drained. If anyone on the team noticed, no one said anything. He was grateful for that much. Steve was certain he’d spill the whole thing with the smallest provocation. He preferred to keep his anguish to himself. His bed felt so cold without her in it. His whole life felt cold now. As he did so many times before, Steve pulled out a yellow garment from inside his pillowcase. It was the dress Y/N left behind. Blood stains now accompanying the grass ones from Steve kissing it after Bucky beat his face in. Steve held tightly to the fabric, imagining Y/N in his arms, her lips on his, willing his heart to stop beating so it would stop hurting.

He thinks of the last time he saw her. How stunning she looked, outshining everyone at the gala. But she was on Bucky's arm, not his as she should have been. Steve wishes he would have ran up to her like he wanted to. He would have swept her off her feet, kissed her breathless and danced the night away. Instead he forced himself to pay attention to Sharon, feeling a misplaced responsibility to her. That night played on repeat in his mind. He should have done so many things. He fucked up so bad.

---------------

Steve had been looking for Y/N since she left. Four months later and still no lock on her. She was like a ghost. Steve would constantly beg Bucky to tell him where she was. He had yet to budge. Only confirming that she was doing okay. Bucky was torn between friends. Him and Steve were getting back to a good place in the friendship. He wanted to help, but didn’t want to break Y/N’s confidence. Although his resolve on the matter was slowly chipping away.

When Steve loved he loved hard, and permanently. Bucky could only do so much to comfort his friend. He still had trouble understanding why Steve gave into Sharon. Why even for a moment he thought he was doing the right thing. But his friend was stubborn, and dumb enough to think he could have both. That Y/N would always be there. Steve lost someone special chasing after someone he thought he once wanted. So trapped in his nostalgia to not realize what he had until it was gone. At least he saw now that he had been taking her for granted. Should have appreciated what he had enough to not betray her the way he did. However unintentional he claimed it was. Y/N didn't deserve that pain.

Bucky remained close with Y/N. She seemed better each time he talked with her. She'd been traveling the world, site seeing. Her abilities saved her a fortune in transportation and entrance fees. Hotel rooms and meals too. She'd been staying at the best hotels for free. Orbing into empty rooms and raiding the well stocked mini bars. Bucky’s stayed with her a few times. Both willing to overlook the moral ambiguity of their actions.

“Please Buck, I need to find her.”

“You can't fix everything, Steve. She doesn’t want to be found. You're bullheaded, but you must realize that by now.” Bucky was tired of having this same conversation again and again. Steve wasn’t going to give up.

“I have to try. Even if there is just the slimmest chance, I have to try.”

Bucky gave in. Walking over to the map on the wall and pointing to her last known location. The rest was up to Steve.

Steve practically jumped out of his chair. “Thank you Bucky… I promise I’m going to get my girl back.”

Within hours he arrived at his destination. It saddened him that she went to Paris alone. They were supposed to go together. He searched for her high and low, but was too late, only catching a glimpse of her. He blinked and she was gone. She moved too fast.

Steve returned to the compound, heartbroken. It wasn’t yet 3am, but he knew he wouldn’t sleep. So he decided to go for a run. He kept running till the sun came up. After passing out in bed from exhaustion, Steve awoke prepared to try to move forward. He resumed his regular routine, running on autopilot, just trying to get by. In the day he could almost convince himself he was healed. Nighttime was another story entirely. The pain bloomed anew each time he lay in his lonely and vacant bed. He'd close his eyes, knowing too well it was his own damn fault.

Chapter 2

[yuunemi]

Pretending [Part 3 of 3]

PAIRING : VIL SCHOENHEIT X FEM!READER

GENRE : ANGST TO FLUFF

C/W : NONE!

LIBRARIAN’S NOTE/S : part one can be found here. and part two here.

NOTES & REBLOGS ARE ALWAYS VERY MUCH APPRECIATED ^^

“How about, not drinking any iced coffee for the night and getting actual rest.” He told you, unfortunately, you have already taken a gulp from your drink—yes, you choked on your drink, "OH MY—WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" You exclaimed. "A pleasant evening to you too, Y/N." He replied. You didn’t expect this, heck—you weren’t even prepared for it. An uncomfortable awkward silence fell on the room.

He breaks the silence with a sigh, taking your cup of coffee and placing it on the counter. “We need to talk." He said before gently taking your hand to sit you down in your room’s chair. He takes your hair brush before removing the towel wrapped around your head to brush your hair. "Why Y/n? Did I look that shallow to you?" He asked while gently brushing your hair. “I read your letter, why didn’t you tell me your reasons? Did you not trust me enough to understand?” He added, just by the mere mention of the letter made you flinch.

"I—I couldn't bring to tell you because I was scared that you would reject me, again." You answered. “That’s nonsense, why would I ever reject you?” He said, “Well you did. The first time I confessed to you was when we were in 3rd year high school.” You replied. Then you began telling your side of the story.

“The school year was about to end, and I thought of confessing to you through a letter but then you looked for me and told me, ‘Do you think a potato-like you can date me? You’d need to be at least prettier and neater than that.’ I was humiliated, my friends just told me to let go of the feelings because it was just a fleeting thing like having a crush on someone, but I couldn’t. So I decided to change myself, telling them that ‘He didn’t completely reject me, maybe if I change myself to what I think is his ideal girlfriend then maybe he’d accept my confession the second time.’”

“Mason and the gang warned me that I would just end up hurting myself again, but I risked it anyway. So I did a lot of things, from avoiding oily food to drinking whatever herbal and healthy drinks were there. I started to eat healthier meals, sleep earlier, and learn more about skincare routines. I still didn’t like make-up though, but I still did it just light make-up though. I would still game with the gang but only during weekends. Then came 4th-year high school, I confessed again.”

“Then the first thing you told me was, ‘What? Are you here to rub in my face that you proved me wrong? Sorry potato but I'm still the pre—‘ but I cut you off even before you could finish saying, ‘No. I came here to confess again. You didn’t completely reject me so I opted to change myself, and of course, I know you’re still prettier than me but I still like you.’ Your next reply made everything so worth it cause you said, ‘My my, what a persistent potato you are. Okay then to reward your effort and to indulge you. I’ll give you a month to show me what kind of a girlfriend you are.’ So I did, till it lasted for four years.”

“I never regretted the change I did to be with you because I found myself loving myself a little bit more. My new look gave me confidence that I would never dare to have before, it was a good change. I always thought that you’re probably only mean to other people and how you probably treat people close to you, a little differently. But it was also a part of me convincing myself that there was no way that the guy who used to show concern to me as a kid would become that bad.”

“It’s alright, I wouldn’t expect you to remember it because I only got to stay in the same neighborhood for one year before we had to move again. I guess, it just felt nice to have someone show their concern for you, even if it wasn’t in the sweetest way possible. My parents were always away so it was just me and a nanny. You might not remember it but I still remember that day so vividly. I was being bullied for my messy appearance, they were calling me a monster, but then I also recall when two other kids came to my rescue, one tanned kid with wolf ears, Jack, and a kid who looked so pretty, you.”

“After Jack chased away all the bullies, you were scolding me about how my appearance was messy, you said, “Didn’t anyone teach you how to fix yourself? Your hair was obviously not brushed and your clothes are so—ugh, and seeing those two other potatoes bully another potato. What a sight for sore eyes.” Before I knew it, we would already be hanging out whenever either of you was available. Every single time I hang out with you, the day will not end without you scolding me for being ‘improper’.”

“Then as the end of the year draws closer, you became busier but so was I because we were gonna move out, again. But that was the last time we were gonna move out, I remember being so mad that why couldn’t they have just stayed? Why couldn’t we settle down there? But then, I wouldn’t have met Mason and the others though and as I grew up, I realized that things happen for a reason. I still remember your reaction when you found out that all I do was play video games. You said, ‘What?! Don’t you have any other hobbies? The UV is not good for your skin, no wonder why you have a potato-like skin.’”

“I wanted to meet you again then I wanted to show you how much I grew and changed…..buuut we both know that didn’t happen but still thank you. Cause you always seem to teach me new things whenever we encounter each other.”

Vil who was now facing you was shocked, he has never felt so loved and appreciated not until he heard your story. He didn’t forget about his childhood, he didn’t forget about the memories he had with you but the thing is, everything was always a blur when he would try remembering your face but he never forgot. He should be thanking you not the other way around. After all, you were so eager to look at his good points, you believed in him so much and it touched him that you didn’t forget him not because he was famous but because of who he is.

You didn’t even notice the few tears that rolled down your cheek, not until Vil wiped it off for you. “Ah—I’m tearing up, my bad, now your—.” You apologized while wiping the tears yourself but Vil took your hand and wiped it off himself, “No, let me. It’s okay, you shouldn’t be apologizing.” He reassured. It was silent again, but it was a bit more comfortable than a while ago. “Aren’t you….mad at me?” You asked him still unable to look him in the eye.

“I was mad because of how you broke off our relationship just like that and through a letter too. That is something we’re supposed to talk about together because I also had my own decision to make, it wasn’t yours to decide on.” He explained, “Well, breaking off a relationship through a text or a call was so mainstream, so I wrote you a letter.” You said softly, “Look.” Vil said as he tilts your chin up with his finger, “I don’t blame you for keeping secrets but next time, talk to me okay?”

You slowly nod your head and then asked “So, what now?” Vil on the other hand rolls his eyes as if it was the stupidest question ever. “Let me ask you, are you willing to throw away our 4-years of dating because of some silly lie and insecurity?” He asked, “No……are..you..?” You hesitantly asked, he sighs before flicking your forehead, “Ow—.” You said, “Of course not you dummy potato.” He answered

Without a moment’s hesitation, you jumped off your chair to hug him. Reciprocating your hug with a firm grip—as if he would lose you again. “I love you, my sweet potato, and thank you.” He whispered into your ear, “Love you too.” You answered

BONUS!

Last night was such a bliss, your problem was finally solved and on top of that Vil was there to hold you. After so many sleepless nights of thinking about what would happen to your relationship. You finally got a good’s night rest.

The next morning, you were woken up by Vil shifting in the bed—probably about to get off and start his morning routine. Holding onto his arm, “Vil, stay a bit longer~~, please~.” You sleepily muttered. “Potato, you know I can’t do that.” He answered, giving him a pout you reluctantly let go of his arm. “Let me finish my morning routine first, then I’ll get back to you.” He said.

Nodding your head, you slump back to bed, “And at least wash your face first before I return to you.” He added and walked off to probably make a smoothie with whatever fruits your apartment had. Welp that you have to do because there is no way that he will go back to cuddle you not when he is all clean while you aren’t. He understands you don’t take a bath right away but the least he asks of you is to wash your face.

Finishing your respective routines, the both of you cuddled up on the bed in comfortable silence. “So….what will I do with myself now?” You asked, “What do you mean by that?” He asked, “Do I keep the ‘perfect’ me or the ‘real’ me?” You answered, “Whatever is comfortable with you, my sweet potato.” He replied giving you a quick kiss on the forehead.

“Ah! Magnifique! Roi du Poison and Reine du Poison has finally made up!” Rook exclaimed. Who was using some binoculars on top of some building or tree that he climbed on.

!! DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE ELSE !! THIS IS THE PROPERTY OF YUUNEMI !! IT DOESN’T CLAIM TO OWN THE CHARACTERS THAT BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS !!

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

love connection

Part: 9

Summary:

It's about the reader being pregnant with Chris's child, but they're not together. The reader didn't tell him because he dumped her, but Chris finds out later on in her pregnancy.

warning: birth, little angst, fluff

pairing: chris evans x reader

Masterlist • love connection masterlist • request closed momentarily! Tag list open!

I give no one permission to post any of my content on another site. Like and reblogs welcome as always!

you held onto Chris’s’s hand tightly as you sat in the hospital bed. you were getting contractions; big ones that were painful. through your pain you also had fear. Right now test were being run to see if everything was ok. you were 8 months along, it was way to early for Finley to come.

You had a fear that something has or was going to happen to your baby and you were terrified. chris knew it. even though he was scared himself he knew had to be strong and tell you it was okay even if it wasn’t.

he would whisper sweet words in your ear, wipe you falling tears, and do anything he could for you. You were grateful for him because there was no way you could do this by yourself.

---

“ugh I want this to be over.” you said as you laid back against the bed. Chris looked at you feeling extremely bad. He could do nothing but watch. “I’m sorry y/n.” he creased your hand trying his best to calm you down.

you looked up at celling mind running wild. “what if something happens to Finely?” you mumbled out. Chris head snapped up looking at you. “hey don’t say that. he probably just wants to see his amazing mama soon so he decided to come.” chris said lightning the mood.

the soft chuckle that fell from your lips warmed Chris’s heart. it felt like he hasn’t heard that in ages. 

before you could respond to his words another contraction started to creep up on you. quickly Chris told you to breath and whispered words of encouragement to you.

After a few minutes of waiting the doctor entered the room. You sat up waiting for him to tell you what was happening. You were expecting the worse to be honest.

"so uh, is our baby ok?" You squeezed Chris's hand, heart beating fast. The doctor exhaled, "your son is perfect." You breathed a sigh of relief.

"he's just deciding to come a little early and I that's not a bad thing. " Um but judging by how far apart your contractions are you'll need to start pushing in a few minutes." You nodded, understanding what he was saying.

He left the room and you turned to Chris. "So Fin is okay." You laid back against the bed exhaling. "I guess we're going to see our bub soon." You place your hand on your lower stomach thinking about how your life is about to change.

Chris was doing the same thing beside you.

-

It wasn't long before you were pushing with all your might. You were squeezing Chris's hand hard and sweating like crazy. 20 minutes later you heard a tiny cry fill your ears. You started to cry yourself. Your baby was finally here.

Finley was placed on your chest by the nurse. You looked down at the baby you could call yours forever. He had long lashes like Chris's and had a freckle on his cheek like Chris's.

Speaking of Chris he was looking down at his son, tears in his eyes. He was finally a dad. It hit him when he saw Finley.

"he looks just like you." You said looking up at chris for a brief second before looking back at a now sleeping fin. Chris took Finley's hand gently, holding it.

"he looks like you more." You looked at him chuckling softly. Chris smiled at you softly. You both were finally a family.

*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*

You and finley had to stay at the hospital for 3 weeks for monitoring. You've grown so attached to him and you loved. Chris also loved it too. He managed to make fin smile the tiniest when he whispers to him when you were asleep. He happily held Finley when you needed to do something and even feed him when he could. He was so so happy to be a father.

-

On the 3rd week you were finally able to go home. After gathering your things chris drove you and Finley home; he made sure to drive slowly.

When he finally pulled into the driveway. You got out of the back seat while Chris grabbed Finley's car seat. You went ahead and walked to the door. When you opened it you were meet with a clean, Christmas decorated house.

You gasped, "who decorated?"

You turned to Chris who was now behind you. "Scott came by and decorated." He walked into the house with fin. "He's here. He's just hiding."

Chris walked further into the house trying to find Scott. While he did that you took fin out of the car seat. "Hi honey." You said sweetly as you held him on against your chest softly. Finley's eyes fluttered open; he looked up at you watching as you smiled down at him. "Do you want to see the Christmas decorations your uncle put up?"

You know he couldn't answer but that wasn't going to stop you from showing him. You walked over to the Christmas tree standing right in front of it. "This is a Christmas tree fin. This where all your Christmas will be in a few weeks."

Finley's little eyes were open as he looked at the lit Christmas tree. He of course has never seen one before but you could tell he was mesmerized by it.

"and maybe next year when you're a big boy we'll decorate it together." You said softly.

Standing in the doorway to the living room Scott and Chris stood and watched you both. Chris was smiling very widely at the sight. Fin was supposed to come next week but the little guy decided now was a good time. Chris didn't mind. He was an early Christmas present! That he's so grateful for!

[lilallama]

Teachers...

Bulsajo Highschool's Students aren't the only ones taken by L/n Y/n.

Subjects

Lee Jieun - Philosophy/Poetry

Kim Hyuna - Drama

Kim Hyojong - Music

Kwong Jiyong - PE

IU

Lee Jieun

"Just know that I'm always open to talk, Y/n. We can sit down and have a cup of tea or cocoa, if you want. You can confide in me, don't worry, dearest."

Jieun is one of the youngest teachers at Bulsajo High. Her gentle voice and aura led her to becoming one of the most popular teachers on campus. She really cares for the students wellbeing, and is always open to discuss different issues with her students. Students don't exclusively visit her to tell her of their woes, but also just to chat over a cup of hot tea or cocoa. She always says, it's important to stay calm. The one thing she won't ever tolerate in class are disruptive or aggressive students. She will give them detention, but all it really is, is another discussion of what they did wrong over a cup of tea or cocoa. Unbeknownst to the students and staff, she took it upon herself to provide the students with the needed calmness. To help them achieve such a relaxed state, she mixes different types of benzodiazepines, anxiety medications, into the beverages she gives them. It works like a charm every time. Especially Jeongguk seeks out her help when frustrated. The hot cocoa she gives him reallt works like a charm.

If there is one person she adores, it's Y/n. They're just so pleasant and adorable to her. They're no trouble and so intelligent. She's not ashamed to say that she truly has gained a little crush on the student. Ever since they met in their 3rd year at Bulsajo High, she was utterly enraptured by their everything. She spends her free time fantasizing about them.

HyunA

Kim Hyuna

"Good morning, Y/n! How was your weekend? I'm so jealous of your parents. I'd love to have a child like you. If I could I'd adopt you right away."

Hyuna is a well respected teacher. She's known to be strict during classes, but very cool outside of her lessons. She is unapologetically honest with everyone and actively dismisses rules, such as the dress code. Since she is so honest, she's also openly biased with her students. She has her favourite and isn't afraid to show it. Neither is her husband; Hyojong. These two are partners in crime, they favour the same students and discuss almost everything with each other first. They are a very lowkey couple, which most students appreciate. Hyuna is a wonderful teacher who actually listens to the students advice and opinions. Her biasing certain students doesn't mean she's treating the others bad, though she does have a few on her blacklist.

Sadly, Hyuna was never able to get a child. Her job is not the only way to the perfect family of three, she had always wanted. A while ago, they went to the doctor when they realised; all efforts to get pregnant failed. Turns out; Hyuna was infertile. She would not be able to get a child, unless they adopted. This deeply affected both Hyuna and Hyojong. When she met Y/n it was like they were sent from heaven. The perfect child, which was stolen from her.

Dawn

Kim Hyojong

"Of course, what do you need? Homework? No no. You don't have to do any homework, Y/n. I thought you knew that. You're busy enough with all the work the others give you. All idiots, really."

Hyojong is a very chill teacher. The students like his class, since he's always very laidback and tries to make the subject understandable to all the students. Sadly though, his homework can be really time consuming. And the quizzes are difficult. He's not that strict and allows the students to eat, drink and even sleep during his class. It's not his problem if they write a bad grade on the upcoming test, it's their mistake. But he will not hold it against them. If they study outside of school and end up writing a good grade, then that's good enough for him. Just like his wife, he is openly biased but not as obvious about it. He doesn't try to hide it, but it's not as noticeable unless you pay attention to it. Hyojong and the principle have a rather... difficult relationship. They hate each other absolutely. Yet the principle cannot find a reason to fire him, since he still does his job and teaches the students well enough. The entire reason for their hatred towards each other is really just a difference in ideals. Nayeon doesn't like him, at all. But he really doesn't care for her.

He was just as distraught as Hyuna when they found out, they would not be able to have a child. But he tried getting over it, not thinking too much about it. That was, untill Hyuna started talking about a Y/n. A new student, with whom she really seemed to have gotten attached to. He immediately agreed ypon closer inspection. They seemed like the perfect child, the child they had always wanted. Hyuna claimed their parents had, stolen you away from them. He could not agree more.

GDragon

Kwong Jiyong

"Hop, hop, hop! No slacking off in my class. Oh, Y/n dear, don't exert yourself! Take a break, I'll get you some water. Hey, continue everyone! If I see just one of you stopping before you finished ten laps, you're up for detention."

A very strict and passionate teacher. He thinks pushing yourself to the limit is how you learn your boundaries. He views life as pure survival. Either you learn how to protect yourself or you get yourself someone who can protect you. Jiyong always assumes that most people end up alone either way, so it's best to learn how to protect and discipline yourself, before you end up vulnerable and alone. After serving 10 years in the military, he went and finished his education and became a teacher at Bulsajo High. The students respect him, but aren't necessarily fond of his teaching methods. There's only few students who he can tolerate. Some of them being Jeongguk, Namjoon, Ryujin, Jeongyeon and Moonbyul. He respects those who are tough and don't complain. Those with a love for extreme sports are well received by him, but not necessarily favoured. He was always very fair.

His fairness streak disappeared when Y/n came into the picture. They weren't necessarily fragile or seemed as though they needed protecting, but he still couldn't help feeling the urge to protect them. They were his personal favourite student, and it shows. If Y/n's feet hurt, he's that close to calling an ambulance. If they say they don't like acertain sport, they will never be confronted with that sport again. They don't like sport in general? Baby, don't worry. He'll find an excuse for you so you don't have to participate. He absolutely adores them. Why would they need to know how to protect themselves. He wants them to rely on him for that. Jiyong would do anything to protect them.

If you liked my work please reblog! 🍑

[agustdiv1ne]

thank you + milestone!!

damn, never thought we'd get here, did we?

in all honesty, it's been a pretty shit year. march 'til now has felt like the same month on repeat with tiny tweaks to make it all so much worse. but i'm not here to complain about the worst parts of this year, i'm here to celebrate the best ones.

this was the year that i finally started writing, that i was finally spurred to open a google doc and just type away until a tiny work of fiction stared back at me. my first one was 1k words, a rant to get all of my emotions off of my chest with an idol as my muse. it felt...great, though it also felt a bit odd writing after being an avid reader for years. i always did prefer essays to creative writing, but this year definitely changed that perspective.

i wrote that first blurb along with another fic in late july, and in early august, i asked my friends if i should post them. om august 3rd, i changed this blog from a fic rec to a fic writing blog just like that. i regret none of it.

it's been nearly five months since i revamped this blog and i couldn't be more grateful for the support i have gotten from all of you, whether it be a kind comment, a like, a reblog, all of it. i never thought anyone would like my content, but i've been proven severely wrong by this community. from my irls that are on here, to my lovely mutuals and followers, to those i've talked to a lil bit on this hellsite, to the writers whose fics i absolutely adore, to those who have left a like or a comment on one of my fics, i want to say thank you from the very bottom of my heart ♡

have a happy and healthy new year! i love and appreciate every single one of you!!

though i'm painfully bad at writing letters and getting all sappy, i wanted to write them anyways hahaha let's goooo

to @hwaddict:

my irl best friend!! my partner in crime!!!! i love you sm carly, and there are not enough words in this world for me to describe the extent of my love. you have been there for me during my lowest moments, you've seen me cry, and i don't cry in front of many ppl. i trust you with my life and i'm so glad that we became friends back in middle school bc you are one reasons that spur me to keep going. i can't wait to see where life takes us and know that while i might not always be able to be there physically (especially with college right around the corner), i will always be there for you in any way i can be. again i love you and i can't wait to conquer next year with you ♡♡

to @hopejanaee:

hope!! hobi!!! one of my irls! though we just became friends earlier this year, it feels like we've been friends for ages. it's crazy how close we grew so quickly but i am so grateful to have you in my life. you never fail to make me laugh whenever we're together and you're so chaotic but in such a good way hahaha. you were the one who got me into writing with your own wonderful fics so thank yoi for that. i'm so happy that we became friends because you're so kind and caring and ahhhhhh i love u sm ♡

to @oikawasmilkbread:

we talked for like 0.2 seconds but you are so kind and hella cool!! it was nice having random conversations with you and i'm so glad you randomly dmed me bc i am shy and i have 0 idea how to start conversations with anyone lmao. i always smile when i see you in my notifs! i hope you have a happy new year!!! ♡

to @luthenia:

i know you're on hiatus but seeing you in my notifs always excites me hahaha. we never talk but you are so supportive of everyone in this community and i just wanted to shout you out for that! your memes are top tier LMAO and i can't wait for when you come back, happy new year ♡

to @starsforten:

we also talked for approximately 1 second but it was so fun talking to you about astrology stuff (virgo sun libra rising gang hahahaha) and those teuta matoshi dresses! you are so nice and easy to talk to and i hope your new year is happy and fruitful! ♡

i recommend every single one of these blogs for their amazing content!! i added some of my favorite fics as i'm a whore for great writing hahaaaa

@kinktae

waterloo — a masterpiece! taehyung is so bitter at the beginning and it's adorable seeing how y/n breaks his tough shell. loved this from beginning to the end ♡

hot rod — the 50s slang, the dynamic between hoseok and y/n...*chef's kiss*

@untaemedqueen

welcome to seoul land — werewolf!namjoon really got me going, 100/10 would recommend

graceful gods — this is one of my all-time favorites, greek god!jungkook has my brain going brrrr

@shadowsremedy + @therealmintedmango

support system — adorable!! this is a hybrid!yoongi fic i really enjoy, and the series isn't over yet! check it out~

@bratkook

tear you apart — demon!taehyung...holy shit. i was speechless

@tatertotthethot

the doms next door — THIS SERIES OMG, i've read each part at least five times already. taekook got me acting UP

scream (posted to @yandere-society) — a really cool take on the movie scream with jungkook, yandere fics don't always appeal to me but this one absolutely did

@ateezmakemeweep

broken — the immense ache i felt in my chest while reading this, but i loved both parts with a burning passion. san is so sweet in this :')

@atinybrew

dirty free for all — the ULTIMATE demon!san fic. the writing is absolutely immaculate and this is the first fic that had me blushing down my mf ARMS

rice milk lattes and bryophytes roads — another san fic admittedly because i'm whipped for san lol. anyways, this was cute and hot at the same time and best friend!yunho made my double biasing ass that much happier

@seacottons

pan — an adorable peter pan!hongjoong fic, it had my heart going achhfhsjfjsjf

sir kiss me — circus au with san holy hell i loved every twist and turn of this

@actuallythatwaspromise

bad romance — one of my favorite yunho fics ever, punk rock!yunho x nerd!reader has my entire heart

aurora garden center and desire ink — florist!mingi had me uwuing for the entire fic, this was adorable and i loved it sm

@yeonjuncore

every single fic on this blog is an absolute masterpiece, i swear

the devil's little angel — THIS IS ONE OF MY ULTIMATE FAVORITES, demon!yeonjun had me screaming and it was just so fun to read and i loved every single second of it so much that i've read it nearly ten times now. so go read it, you won't regret it!

the boy with the horns — another of my ultimate favorites (i told you, their writing is just that amazing), woodland fey!soobin just had me going so soft :(( i literally sobbed at one point, that's how invested i was

bleeding heart — the tension between vampire!yeonjun and vampire slayer!reader had me screeching

curtain call — i have a sad crush vampire!soobin

i love you, always — this felt so..bittersweet? taehyun loves y/n so much, i lowkey cried while reading this

@angelfic

the art of (mis)communication — i am a whore for both reconciliation and yeonjun, 100000/10 pls read this i beg of you

@angelictaehyun

growing pains — ahhh once again a yeonjun fic, my chest hurt a lil bit at some points but it was so sweet!!

@neovisioned

bed of spiderwebs — spiderman!mark has my heart screeching, i loved every second of it ♡

eddie ate dynamite — johnny suh coming for my throat yet again

cupid victorious — cupid!jaehyun :'))) definitely one of my favorites!!

@domjaehyun

quarantine chronicles — ok if you haven't read this or the part two yet then you're missing out big time!! the tension, the buildup, every single part of this fic was just *chef's kiss* but multiply thay by a million

all these years — every single moment of this felt so nostalgic and the ending was so sweet :')

@caiuscassiuss

muse — i keep going back to this one constantly, the angst in this phenomenal and i love artist!taeyong sm here

@neoct-zen

loverboy — HOT, AMAZING, I SCREAMED. the blurbs that accompany this are also top-tier i recommend reading each and every one!!

@moondustis

pink + white — i'm so soft for mark i stg, this was the cutest thing ever

@loviejaehyun

can't avoid this feeling — hockey player!mark is the best thing ever

all tied up — i just- screamed as i read this bc professor!jaehyun is too hot goodbye

@hopejanaee

incapable — this is one of the best yoongi fics i've ever read ngl, it's not completed quite yet but the parts that have been posted are top tier!!

breathless — THIS. I LOVED THIS. yuta is just so hfjshhfhshfnsn and i love this sm

@hwaddict

melting point — big boy mingiiii, 100/10 would recommend

@okayau

house next to mine — frat boy!yeonjun rly got me going, cute and hot at the same time ahhhhbfnsnnf

youth — ADORABLE, yeonjun's confession is peak i love it here

run away — how many yeonjun fics can i fit in this post? (answer: a lot) definitely one of my favorite harry potter aus!! it was awesome seeing how their relationship changed throughout the years and perhaps i teared up a little at the end :'))

@starrychannies

baby steps — ONE OF ALL-TIME MY FAVORITE FICS ON THIS SITE, every single part is so well-written and ahhhhhfhdhhf chan makes me feel some type of way

my stupid — another yeonjun fic! angsty but v cute at the end :')

@baekhvuns

this youth of craziness — 40k words of pure gold, this fic is absolutely one of my favorite san fics ever!!

replacement — prince!ten makes my brain go brrrr, i love how the y/n just speaks her mind here

@masterninjacow

untitled project — i saw soulmate au with mark and i knew would already love it, and i did! pizza boy!mark at that, amazing and i adored it

more amazing blogs!!: @galaxteez, @poutybinz, @lustjoong, @bloominghigh

these are just a few of the fics and blogs i found this year, find more on my fic rec blog @agustdiv1ne-recs!! (my thumbs are starting to hurt i'm so sorry bfjshfhsh)

wrapping up each month since august since that's when i actually started posting LMAO

☆ august

03: good enough — chan

03: bloodsucker — seonghwa

04: cutie — san

09: veloxrotaphobia — mingi

19: want — changbin

21: numb — yunho

100 follower special — i reached 100 followers towards the end of august, my first ever milestone :') also my first ever time taking requests, 'twas very fun ♡

☆ september

03: on camera — jungkook

☆ october

27: oh, worm? — namjoon

31: demon days — san

☆ november

10: a letter to my love — xiaojun

23: bad for u — jaehyun

27: home sweet home — yeonjun

☆ december

christmas bash 2020 — my brain went hey what if you did this- and i listened so here's 17 holiday fics hahahaa (not all of them are out yet but i'm working on it!!)

things i plan to release in 2021!!

☆ sunflower — jimin

☆ cross — yeonjun

☆ landslide — seonghwa

☆ nice save — san

☆ red — hyunjin

☆ a secret series (that will be revealed once i plan everything) — ateez

☆ 4 unrelated secret fics oOoOoo — will i reveal them? you'll just have to wait and see ;)

there will definitely be more posted! these are the ones that are going to be my priority at first, but my imagination is always churning so expect a lot more :)) check out all of non-secret wips here!

i hit 500 followers a couple days ago! i nearly screamed when i saw that LMAO. thank you so much for liking my content because i work hella hard on it :') sometimes i feel like i don't deserve y'all really, but @hwaddict will yell at me if i say that so ig i take it back hfhshhdhg

a post for celebrating this milestone will come as soon as i finish up the rest of my christmas fics!! sorry that i'm so slow :( (hint: my requests will be open, so look out for it!)

so yeah!! that's it, sorry for the painfully long post (i'm sorry to my thumbs for typing this whole thing out </3). thank you to everyone who read this far!! i hope everyone has a happy and healthy new year, and in the words of txt's cover, fuck 2020. may 2021 be a much better year for all of us!!!

much love,

ashlee ♡

[wolfra-mite]

My Problem with Gen 4 Remakes and Some of the Redeeming Values I found

Let me just say that I absolutely love Pokemon. I am aware that a lot of people would refer to me as someone who whines or never gets content with whatever Gamefeak gave us. If you're one of them who are going to reblog this as a genwunner post then I highly suggest you to not waste your time reading this blog. However if you are an open minded and believe that not everything is perfect and is accepting that some games have their flaws, then do carry on. Ok so lets start Problem No. 1 The way the Protagonist walks.

Ok so walking on a 2d game should be a no- brainer. Right? Apparently not in the case of BDSP. I don't even know what ILCA was thinking (or in this case not thinking to test it out) when they make your character suddenly get magnetized or worse, making your character automatically jump on a ledge. Specially that, it is my biggest peeve when it came to trying to go up for the Cyrus Mt. Coronet mission (see below).

Problem No 2. Pokemon Following You

I know this is not a feature in the remakes but Heart Gold and Soul Silver managed to do it but this is just a pain to look at. Seriously, the weirdly proportionate look at your Partner Pokemon or the fact that they can get stuck too like your character. Oh and not to mention, why is there a need to put back your Pokemon whenever some NPC initiates you for a battle? Why did they not just made it like HGSS remakes, wherein your character just points out to your leading Pokemon when its out of the pokeball but nope. Alright Empoleon, go back to the pokeball then I'll throw you out again.

Problem No 3. The GTS and Other Online Features

Seriously? It seems that this remake took one step forward and two steps back when it comes to progress and improvements. I can't believe it took them a few months before the GTS became usable after the release. Don't even get me started on those online battle features. It should have been a few days after the release. Not Months.

Problem No 4. The Content

I still don't get why we did not receive a 3rd version treatment for this game? This is somewhat predicted since they did it with ORAS, but it couldn't hurt. Also the fact that you can only get Arceus if you finished all the quests on Legends of Arceus Game.

I think that sums up about how I feel about Pokemon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl. I'm not a big fan of the chibi appearance of your Avatar but its not a problem for me.

So now we move on to the good sides.

Good Stuff No. 1 The Mythicals

Hello to the kids who used Action Replay back in the Early 2006ish wondering what the Azure Flute does. Are you ready to face your trauma of fighting the overpowered Arceus? Well then get ready because we now have a legal way to actually access the Spear Pillar!

Good Stuff No. 2 The Gym Leader and Elite 4 AI

Honestly I don't know if I was just a dumb kid back when I played DP. But boy do the AIs actually make good decisions and they actually counter your attack. So yes instead of spamming surf you actually had to think just a little. I'm impressed with this one.

-----

Overall my thoughts on this game is that for $60, this is a very expensive price for a barely tested mediocre remake. Personally I would say that ILCA did a bad job on making the remakes. Which is kind of sad on my part since I was hoping for a Gen 8 treatment for this game when it comes to avatar but instead we got a copy and paste but with bad walking styles.

[hard-times-paramore]

I posted 13,293 times in 2021

283 posts created (2%)

13010 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 46.0 posts.

I added 2,638 tags in 2021

#houseki no kuni - 354 posts

#the matrix - 325 posts

#loki - 283 posts

#the expanse - 280 posts

#loki series - 277 posts

#my posts - 241 posts

#flight rising - 239 posts

#dune - 224 posts

#batman - 221 posts

#tma - 194 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#just between us you didn't have to do that. could have made up an excuse. i'd be ok with the plot being a little bad u know this one time

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

She's my little green bean I love her so much

469 notes • Posted 2021-01-02 17:01:25 GMT

#4

Everyone be quiet he's receiving prophetic dreams

573 notes • Posted 2021-06-25 14:59:13 GMT

#3

"I should have married you."

Duke Leto says it to Jessica, but in the book - and even in the first movie - she never got to hear those words. He thinks them to himself, but dies before he can share them. And it's heartbreaking, because for Lady Jessica, in all her Bene Gesserit wisdom and training, that has always been a point of jealousy and insecurity. She knew Leto couldn't wed her for political reasons, but still wished he had been brave enough to do it anyway, just as she was brave enough to give him a son despite her orders.

I wonder how she felt, in the movie, finally being allowed to hear how much she was wanted, how much she was loved, only for it to be too late.

579 notes • Posted 2021-10-25 16:13:51 GMT

#2

What if 3rd Life had a prize in the end? Upon winning the game, it stops being hardcore. After all, why would they fight each other and endure so much pain and betrayal, if there was no reward for being the last one left standing? Grian jumps off the cliff to the realization that he will respawn again and again, as many times as he wants. The barriers tear themselves down, opening the world to him. He is free. He is immortal.

And he is alone.

2241 notes • Posted 2021-07-19 19:56:48 GMT

#1

Being asexual is good, actually. Talking about being asexual is cool and good. Aces can have fun with their sexuality and pride too. Ace pride is a good thing.

36944 notes • Posted 2021-04-06 19:07:12 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[swiftiesupportgroup]

my anxiety has been really bad lately. No one knows about it and I've never been actually diagnosed, but I know I have it. The last 2 weeks I have been really struggling, especially with just starting uni this year. I've not been to one of my classes for the 3rd week in a row now because my anxiety has been so bad. Today I couldn't even leave my house. I know this is bad and avoiding it is only making it worse but I don't know how I can get through it. Do you have any tips for me? Thank you

Hi sweetie,

I’m sorry to be answering this only now. Unfortunately our members have been dealing with their own issues and handling their own work/school/life so most of us haven’t exactly been in a state of mind to give advice. I just reblogged some posts about coping skills for anxiety. I hope you’ve been able to find ways to cope with yours, but to answer your question, here are some tips for dealing with anxiety. 

First of all, I’m so sorry hear you’re having a hard time. Sadly, most of us have been through it and it’s never easy.

So now for the practical advice:

I know it’s way easier said than done to let go of things and focus on something else, something positive. But if you can manage, it might be good for you to try. 

*Though it’s important to know that if you’re at a point where absolutely anything is too much, this is not gonna work, I’ve been there too. In that case I’d suggest you see your doctor and ask for a referral for a therapist who can help you cope and manage your stress.

Something that has worked for me is creating distractions for myself. I’m really good at procrastinating, and I’ve learned that you can actually procrastinate your stress. Whenever I’d get overwhelmed and on the verge of a panic attack, I say to myself: ‘NO. STOP. Think about something else. NOW.’ Then I actively distract myself with music/ tv shows/books/cooking/organizing/tumblr/anything that occupies my mind fully. And in a matter of minutes I’m preoccupied with my new activity and actually not thinking about whatever is stressing me out. So I procrastinate my stress right until I have to do the thing that’s giving me anxiety. And this way I’m only fully stressed for a few minutes/hours in stead of actual weeks. So weeks of misery can turn into only hours, which is pretty good if you ask me.

Another thing to help you think about something else or feel a bit better is to spoil yourself. Don’t save that yummy treat for the moments you ‘deserve’ it, have it cheer yourself up. Use that fancy lotion or shampoo, get dressed for a glamorous night out (especially if you’re staying in), grab a hair brush and jump on your bed and sing your heart out to your favorite song, watch some videos of baby goats (that one works for me). They’re all small things, but when you find that little thing that always puts a smile on your face, do it.

If you can, squeeze in some more sleep. I know that can be very difficult but more sleep is always good, you’re less susceptible to be affected by hormone level changes through out the day if you had a good night’s sleep. It’s like, if you start off the day after a good night’s sleep, you have more back up energy to help you manage your triggers. Naps are also good, but not too late in the day because that will in turn disturb your sleep at night.

Nature can do wonders to manage stress. Exercise as well. Taking a walk, seeing beautiful nature stuff can be very relaxing, and again, whatever you like most. A walk on the beach, a walk in the woods, a hike, a run, a dance class, whatever you’re in the mood for.

And for all of these goes: Even if it doesn’t work, it’s more than worth the try to spoil yourself a little bit and treat yourself and show yourself some love in the form of self care.

If you find yourself doing these things without any results, or you maybe can’t even bring yourself to do any of these, I’d really suggest getting professional help. It’s not shameful to see a therapist, nor is it shameful to take meds for your illness.

Therapy and meds. From my own experience I can tell you that sometimes, when we live with mental illnesses or even high levels of anxiety for a while, we get to a point of no return. Brain wise. Your brain chemistry just doesn’t work the way it should when you’ve been subjected to prolonged periods of anxiety, stress, depression, ocd, ptsd and many more. Your brain chemistry changes and it cannot change back on it’s own. Not always of course, therapy can work wonders on it’s own, but sometimes at some point it really just is a matter of brain chemistry that needs help working like it should. I’ve been on meds for a while now and the difference it has made is unfathomable. Honestly I feel like a different person. I no longer get stuck in these negative thought spirals. Things that sent me into a blind panic sometimes no longer even phase me? It’s beyond anything I could have hoped for. And I could have gotten the meds sooner if I hadn’t been so scared of getting a diagnosis and actual treatment. It has been life changing and I’m in no way ‘cured’, I still have relapses and am nowhere near the energy levels of a healthy human being, but I also no longer feel like absolute crap all the time. My perspective has changed, it’s really unbelievable. And I would absolutely recommend asking your doctor about it to see if it would be something that you could benefit from.

So what I’m trying to say, there are things that can help, and the only way to find out is to try. And if you can’t, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

We all need help sometimes. And issues like these, well we’re not meant to deal with those on our own. Reach out to someone you trust and feel comfortable with, a friend, a parent a family member, a school counselor, and share your worries and your feelings and let them ease your mind. And if you need to, let them help you find the help you need to be able to manage your stress and live a happy life and be your best self.

So please know that you matter, you’re worth the effort, your joy is worth the effort. And there are so many people out there who want to help you, and actually can help you. There is no shame in reaching out to get better.

I love you, I know you can do this. And if you feel like you can’t, we’re always here if you want to talk and we’re always rooting for you.

Love,

Diana @coffee-midnights and everyone at Swiftie Support Group

[nifolution]

Baby Blues 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes & Reader

Summary: Bucky and his wife have been trying for a baby. Will they get their wish or will it all fall apart? Will there be too much deception, pain and anger to make it work?

Warnings: Angst, smut, fluff, infertility, heartbreak, cheating, manipulation, noncon/dubcon, harassment, pregnancy, argument, therapy, making up

A/N: This is a revised copy of my oc fic. It is written in 3rd person. 18+ only due to smut and noncon/dubcon situations. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated.

Chapter 3 Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 4

It had been nearly two weeks of isolation. Denied the chance to defend himself, Bucky had been suspended from missions until further notice. Told ‘his whore’ was fired and he'd been lucky they didn't dismiss him as well. Warned to stay away from Y/N or he would be. He didn't understand what was happening. Everything was spiraling and he was helpless to stop it. He had to watch the most important person in his life walk out of it, her eyes filled with such sorrow and hatred. Even during their worst fights she’d never looked at him like that.

Seeing her close their front door, knowing she wasn't coming back, was the worst pain he'd ever felt. Bucky’s heart ached being in their house without her. If it weren't for how empty it felt, he could almost pretend she was only at the lab. The fantasy of her returning after a tiring day and cuddling up with him, a sweet agony. Having no other distraction, Bucky spent every waking hour replaying what happened in his mind, trying to make sense of it. Why she left him, it wasn't real. It couldn't be. They were being manipulated. He should have begged harder, held on tighter, until Y/N agreed to sit with him and figure it out. It wasn't what she said it was, he knows he was faithful to her. He tried countless times to reach out to her that first week, but she wouldn't answer. Every call ignored, every message unread, until she eventually blocked his number.

All his friends turned their backs on him. No one would listen, nobody believed him. Even Steve refused to speak to him. Avoided him for days, then volunteered for an extended mission on the other side of the globe. Bruce wouldn’t spare him a glance. Sam cursed him out and punched him. Natasha shot him. Not fatally, but the message was clear. He was truly alone.

---------------

With nowhere else to turn, Bucky went to the only person who may be able to help. He knew Stark hated him, he had valid reasons to, but the tech genius was his last resort and Y/N trusted him. As Bucky walked up the steps of Tony's cabin, the ducks in the lake loudly and collectively flew off. Even the dumb birds knew this was a bad idea.

A furious Tony stormed out before Bucky could knock, Ironman gauntlet ready to blast. “Explain yourself,” he demanded. Seeing the other man freeze, he continued. “Why are you here? And if I don’t like your answer, you're definitely not going to like my response.” He readied his armor to fire.

“I...I need your help,” Bucky stammered.

Tony’s eyebrows shot up, “My help?”

Bucky licked his lips nervously, “Y/N won't talk to me. She moved out. She won’t answer my calls. I don't know what to do.”

“Oh, is that all?” Tony sucked his teeth, lowering his armored hand. “That's simple really. Your wife’s divorcing you, and I'm happily paying for it.” He smiled mockingly at the former soldier.

“Divorce?!” Bucky was taken aback by the thought of it.

“You bet. You can't be surprised after what you did. And those little home movies your slut sent Y/N were more than enough for her lawyer to fast track the paperwork. Prepare to have your ass handed to ya, Barnes.”

Bucky only sniffed and lowered his head, trying his best to hold it together. He didn’t know it had gone that far yet. His wife was slipping through his fingers faster than he could fathom.

Tony wanted to strangle him, the bastard had no right to cry. “You know you are a piece of work. I may have been a womanizer in my past, but I never stooped so low as to cheat. You're a fucking coward and you never deserved her.”

“I know.”

The reply only enraged Tony further, “I hope you are hurting, I truly do. I pray you know what you lost and it tears you up inside everyday for the rest of your life…. And you better believe I will do everything in my power to see that Y/N gets over you. The sooner the better. Now get the hell off my porch.”

“Please. I know you hate me, everyone hates me right now, but please hear me out. I can't explain the videos or what Y/N says she saw…” Bucky grimaced, unable to continue that train of thought. “I need answers. I don’t understand what is happening. I know I didn't do it. I would never hurt my wife. And if I can convince you then maybe she'll believe me too… Please help me.”

Tony mulled it over. “Fine, I’ll help, but only to prove you're a cheating scumbag. I’ll give you the chance to prove your innocence, but when you fail, you’ll be thrown out like your side piece was.”

Bucky nodded as Stark passed by. He started to follow him, before he was halted.

“I'm not driving with you. Meet me at the lab.” Tony got into his own vehicle. Placing a call to Natasha and Banner for backup.

---------------

Bruce yawned walking into the lab. It was too early for whatever it was Tony planned. His large frame ambled along the silent machines, until he happened upon the people he sought. Tony and Natasha were standing and chatting. And there was Bucky, silently sitting at a workbench. He looked like he hadn’t slept for days. “What is this about, Tony?”

“Ah, Bruce. Fashionably late, but you haven't missed the good stuff. The Manchurian candidate over here is claiming noninvolvement in breaking Y/N’s heart, and I wish to expose his lies. You two,” Tony pointed to Natasha and Bruce, “are my witnesses in case anything goes awry.”

It did not surprise anyone that Tony had his own high-tech lie detector hooked up to FRIDAY. The AI was programmed to monitor eye and face movement, voice changes, body language and pulse to detect falsehoods. No need to stick to simple yes or no questions.

The sensor was placed in front of Bucky. The laser lights illuminating his face. FRIDAY indicated the base scan was finished and they were ready to begin. Tony folded his arms, “Alright, Barnes, convince me.”

Natasha was the first to speak up, “Let's start. What is...”

Tony cut her off, “When did you decide fucking recruits was more important than your wife?”

“Jesus, Tony,” Bruce winced at the blurted out question.

Bucky’s voice was firm, “I am not fucking any recruits.”

“Just the one then?”

“No, I haven't been with anyone except Y/N.” Bucky was already getting frustrated. He knew Tony wasn’t going to make this easy for him. He hoped he didn’t make a mistake by asking for his help.

Natasha was also getting aggravated with the billionaire's antics. She wanted answers, not bickering. “Shouldn’t you start with basic questions, like verifying his name?”

“Fine, fine. Are you Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes?”

“Yes.”

“Are you married to Y/N Marie Barnes, formally and soon again, Y/N y/l/n?”

Bucky hated the question, but responded, “Yes.”

Tony pursed his lips, preparing his next query. “So Barnes, how much of a piece of shit are you to think you can treat Y/N like garbage?”

“This is going to take awhile,” Natasha groaned.

After an hour of Tony rephrasing the same questions over and over, some being way too personal, the AI determined that Bucky passed. No lies detected. After the test, Bucky tucked himself in the corner on the other side of the lab, away from the group. The interrogation distressed him more than he cared to admit.

Tony did not accept the results. “So he knows how to trick my machine.” He turned to Natasha, “You guys were trained for this sort of thing. He’s just a world class liar, right?”

Natasha’s eyebrows pinched together. She trusted FRIDAY’s output, but she saw the videos. How did he pass? She began to have doubts.

Bruce spoke up instead. “I found something interesting. Or rather, I didn’t find anything, but that’s what’s interesting. I was checking footage from the quinjet during your questioning. There was nothing.”

“The files were erased?” Natasha asked.

“No it’s all there, but there's nothing to see. Bucky didn’t touch Tanya once the whole trip. You are alone with your lover for hours, wouldn't there be some display of affection?”

Tony dismissed the finding, “So they saved the pda for the safehouse.”

“I reviewed those files as well. Still nothing.” Bruce removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. “They were away for an entire week together, but as far as I can tell they slept in separate rooms and never once touched beyond the occasional passing of equipment or food. It doesn't make sense, does it.”

Tony's interest peaked. “Okay, I admit that's weird.” After a minute of thought, he clapped his hands together. “Alright, seeing as Barnes put himself in time out, the rest of us will keep digging. I’ll start by checking the security tapes for evidence of tampering.”

Chapter 5