#itoshi sae fanfic

[hauntedhokage]

ｆｒｅｅｆａｌｌ

summary: Sae wasn't particularly interested in building relationships or bonds with the people around him. Until you came along, wife of one of his new teammates and the sweetest woman he'd had the honor of knowing.

word count: 3.7k

warnings/tropes: mutual pining, cheating (not reader or sae tho), emotional cheating (on reader’s side), divorce, non explicit sexual content

To Sae, team engagements were unbearable, he used to not go to them because he had better things to do than talk to the idiots he played with. Then you came along when your husband was traded to the team, suddenly evening recovery after training and practicing all day didn’t seem as important. He was strategic about it; feigning an interest in the rest of his teammates and their lives as well, saying that his manager thought it would be good for him to actually get to know the people he traded passes with. The entire locker room was in shock, but you had commented after a match that friendliness looked good on him even though it was clearly killing him to be nice. 

And he watches as you lean into your husband at one dinner; the man who was so undeserving of you, who didn’t worship you like you deserved. You were ethereal, the way the sunlight made your eyes sparkle, or how your jewelry seemed to look brighter against your skin - even down to the wedding band that he longed for you to have a reason to take off - it was all worthy of worship and your husband didn’t give you that. Not that he was wishing for unhappiness to befall you, that was a storm cloud you didn’t deserve to be under due to how nice you were. The only person who saw right through him, who caught the way he looked at you and looked at him the same way. 

He will never forget the way you’d run into him at a team dinner for the players and their spouses to celebrate a big win. You’d gone to the restroom, and he had gotten up to do the same a few minutes later and ended up almost knocking you over. On reflex he reached out to steady you, but his hands didn’t want to leave where they landed on your arm and lower back. Your skin was so soft, that he knew after you’d shaken his hand since that was a normal greeting where you’d come from, but to hold you like that was something else. Something he wanted to get that chance to do again, which had been difficult for him because he had never really been interested in a woman like he’d been interested in you. 

“You should be more careful,” he had warned, carefully helping you regain your balance before he finally stepped away. 

“Yeah, but I wasn’t expecting anyone. You’re like a brick wall, Itoshi.” Your teasing came with a pat to his chest before your hands tried to smooth out any imperfections caused by his catch. “Thank you for catching me.”

“Anytime you need it.” And you smiled, cheeks flushed as you stepped around him to head back to the table where your husband was. He hated that he had to let you go after you’d been so close, after you’d touched him so carefully. It was the sweetest torture to be so close to you, seated beside you at the table and noticing the way you’d look at him out of the corner of your eye. The thought of a chance brought his mood up significantly, and that he knew you definitely had noticed. The chance of what, he wasn’t exactly sure, but the way you put your hand on his shoulder as you and your husband made your leave - a small squeeze that he hoped was meant to be affectionate - he hoped that whatever that chase was it was a bit more than friendly. 

Then there was the time after one of their matches and you had headed to the back of the stadium where the locker rooms were. He had known that you and your husband had gotten into it before the match, the man couldn’t stop talking about it and how he needed to fix the problem, so when he ran into you he was almost happy that you looked conflicted about being back there. He’d asked if you were okay, something that you hesitated to answer before you nodded with a smile so fake but he couldn’t call it out. Instead he gave you his phone number, watching as you typed it and sent him a text with his name, telling you that you could always talk to him if you needed an unbiased opinion on anything. He was mostly unbiased, just not when it came to your marriage, but you didn’t need to know that. 

And you had taken up on his offer, to the point where he was sure you talked to him more than anyone else. He knew he talked to you more than anyone else in his life. He’d never pushed past the line of friendship, never wanting to ask for you to be unfaithful to the man you admitted to him you were gradually falling out of love with. The man who you were concerned was pulling away from you emotionally while you were basically emotionally cheating on him with how often you spoke to Sae and all the information you shared with him. 

Emotional cheating was an interesting concept to him, something that he felt was actually stupid. Having a friend that you confided in shouldn’t be considered cheating, since neither party was sharing their own feelings for one another, just simply talking shouldn’t be considered cheating. If it led to infidelity, then the physical act of cheating was the actual cheating that occurred. But he wouldn’t argue with you, you didn’t like it when he pushed back on that concept but he knew how you felt while you knew how you felt. Agree to disagree worked out for the two of you.

You’d been friends for almost a year when the news broke. Your husband had been supporting a mistress since he’d been traded to this current team - for as long as you’d been in the country. Which was one issue, the other issue was that the news hit the media with the mistress sending screenshots of texts and pictures sent between them to an online news page and her instagram. The entire internet had seen the dick of your husband of almost four years, and had been tagging you recently in instagram posts and blowing up your comments on all social media sites they knew you were on while trying to get information or more to add to the story the news sites were spinning together. He was surprised your phone was even on, telling him where you were when he asked to which he responded with his own information about having a concussion. He’d done something stupid when he heard the news, revealing emotion his team had never seen in him before. A woman as sweet as you didn’t deserve to be treated like that, you deserve much better than that. 

You hadn’t formally invited him, but he makes his way to the hotel you were at and knocks softly on the door. You look more put together than he’s expecting, but lets you walk into his arms and leads you back into your room. He's surprised when you arrange yourself around him on the bed rather than being the little spoon, but he’s not arguing since the lights in your room were a bit too bright for his taste so pressing his face into your neck without you fighting it was perfect for him. 

“Do you really have a concussion?” you ask, your fingers stroking his side as he nods into your neck. “I thought you were more careful than that.”

“Got a bit reckless after I heard about what he did. I like you too much to let him get away with hurting you. The entire team is pissed, too.” The answer is honest, pulling a sigh from you as you nod.  “You didn’t have to let me in.”

“No, I know. But if I had to see anyone after the shitshow he’s stirred up, I’d want it to be you.” Did you really like him that much? He supposed you had to with the way you looked at him, talked to him, even the way you baked specific treats for him that were in compliance with his strict diet rather than the ones that his teammates were okay with eating “just one” to break theirs. “This is why I put away my own savings, being a soccer wife can crash and burn at any time. It’s just unfortunate that the media is so involved.” 

“What happens now?”

“Right now we’re separated. I didn’t want to stay in the penthouse which is why I’m in a hotel,” you start, sighing as he nods slowly. “He’s trying to put off the divorce filing, since he’s fucked regardless of where we do it. Divorce due to infidelity? Not liked by any country’s divorce court.”

“Do they know you’re here?” Who they are needs no elaboration - they were always the media that ended up everywhere when there was a scandal afoot.

“No, they’re currently more focused on him and his idiot mistress. The scorned wife isn’t as important until the divorce is filed and money gets paid out.” 

He sighs into your neck, and you feel the gentle press of his lips against your skin. He always took such good care of every part of his body, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about how they’d feel against your skin. They’re soft, not at all chapped, and they’re quite comforting to have on you. You wished you could rebound so quickly, but to be caught with your divorced husband’s teammate made you look as bad as him. Maybe this would be all you had, a soft rendezvous in a hotel room here and there where you could just be you and Sae could just be Sae and you didn’t have to worry about the media or the team or your soon-to-be ex-husband. 

“Sae?” The only response you get is a grunt into your neck, and you kiss the top of his head as you try to formulate your next question. This affection wasn’t completely abnormal, hugging Sae was pretty common for you since you treated him so well. It’s kissing that’s a bit out of place, but it’s comforting in this time of crisis, so you’d take it where you could.  “What’s this thing between us? I mean, we’re close and I think we know more about each other than anyone else, but is there something that can come after all this blows over?”

This has him pulling away so he can look at you, blue eyes soft with a look you had only ever seen pointed in your direction. You’d always known that you were something special to him, and he was special to you - probably the only person you confide in about the woes of your marriage and this life you chose to lead. In turn you get to know more about him, how he felt about soccer and this team he was on (a bunch of sub par morons but the money was good), even a bit of the history between him and his brother. 

“I love you,” he starts, his and cupping your cheek as your eyes begin to burn with the tears welling up in them. “I have for a while and I know that you’ve known that. I just didn’t say anything because you were married and I didn’t want to put you in a position where you might feel uncomfortable or in a spot where you had to choose.”

“Bastard made that choice for me, anyway.” 

“As for what happens next, that’s your decision. I don’t want you to feel like we have to rush into anything, I want you to feel protected from the media or fans of the team too.” His hand moves from your face to hold your hand, fitting enough that it was your left hand that still bore your wedding and engagement rings. “I care more about your comfort than any label we might have. I’m here for you and with you in any capacity you want me to be.”

His fingers go for your rings, and you don’t fight him when he slides them off your finger and turns away to set them on the nightstand behind him. His fingers are laced with yours when he turns back, this time pulling you into his arms so you can rest your head on his chest. The admission of feelings isn’t returned, but he’s not expecting them at this point in your processing of what was happening in your life. Your marriage and intimate details of it had been revealed, an upset mistress releasing texts about how your husband was upset that you hadn’t put out, how you made him mad sometimes with how you baked for his teammates, how he fell out of love with you but stayed because you made him look better for the public. 

Funny how that turned out. 

And he lays under you, watching as you go through your various social media accounts to delete any pictures of you that had been posted - even tweets or pictures where he’d simply been mentioned. All of them were gone after a few minutes of looking. Next comes your camera roll, that one taking a bit longer because of how long you were with that guy, but you were relieved when you had everything deleted. He’s surprised when you open your camera and take a picture with him, casually resting beneath him as he watches you. 

“Take a better one,” he requests, kissing your temple as you smile for your camera. His phone vibrates on the nightstand with the message you’d sent, and his hand sets to running along your side with fingers dancing delicately along your curves when you finally lock your phone and let your eyes close. “How long do you want me here?”

“How long can you be here?”

“As long as you want me to be here. If nobody knows you’re here, there’s no real concern about people seeing me leave.”

“At least stay the night? We can figure out the rest tomorrow.” The request is met with assurance that he’d give you that, and you pat his stomach in thanks. “I guess it wasn’t fair for me to call his mistress an idiot. She was pretty smart to release to the media. He said he’d tell me and never did, so she made sure I’d find out. Real girl’s girl, I guess.”

“I don’t think embarrassing you in front of the world is something a girl’s girl would do, but alright.”

“It just sucks, y’know. He was once so good to me, he loved me, but I guess pain goes both ways. I think he knew I fell out of love with him, too.” You murmur with a sigh, sitting up when Sae requests it so he can take his shirt off to avoid further wrinkles. But the purpose is defeated when he just throws it to the side before he lies back down, arm spread to the side in an invitation. “If we did get together, it’d have to be private for a long while. I’d hate for you to look like a wife stealer despite him doing what he did.”

“I’d want it to be private anyway. People are a bit crazy when it comes to me, you shouldn’t have to put up with it.” You pull your knees up to your chest when he says that, unsure how you felt like that. Your previous husband wanted to show off wherever he could, to have Sae want to tuck you way was a direct one-eighty from what you knew. “I’ll show you off where it matters. You’re more to me than just a shiny trophy.”  

You don’t think he knows how beautiful he looks spread out on the hotel bed. Red hair a direct contrast against the white pillow case, sunkissed skin on full display with a couple bracelets and the necklace he usually wore standing out but so fitting on his form. His usual indifferent expression is replaced with a mostly relaxed smile but still laced with concern as he watches you sit on the bed. 

You’re crying before you register it happening, and he sits up quickly to pull you back into his chest. Providing comfort where tears were involved wasn’t his specialty, and that was made obvious in the way that he carefully rubs your back and stayed quiet. There weren’t words he knew to provide, but you knew he didn’t understand that being there was enough - you’d have to tell him when you weren’t sobbing. 

“S-Sae,” you whimper, clinging tightly to him as he kisses your head. You’d been strong for so long, it was okay for you to let it all go. At this time he can only shush you, pulling you into his lap to keep you close as you cried. It was all he knew how to do, and eventually he’s laying back on the bed with you curled into his chest half asleep. 

“You'll be okay,” he whispers, kissing your head again as you hum. “You’re strong, you’ll make it through.”

And you do end up okay. Your divorce was finalized a month after, the payout you received for the infidelity helped you pay for an apartment, but you didn’t spend much time there. Sae’s apartment had become a second home, the spare bedroom turned into a space for you to hide away in when you didn’t want to sleep in his bed. You were very concerned with ensuring he didn’t feel like a rebound, despite never having done anything more than sleep in his bed and share the occasional hug, but he let you have the distance you wanted when you asked for it. 

When he gets a better offer a few months later, he asks you to go with him. It’s another country, another team, another new environment. But it was a fresh start, too, and he’s happy to hear you say yes; to go with him, to live with him, to be with him. And you relax considerably in your new home, grateful for the space from your ex-husband and the team who felt sorry for you. The letter that sat unopened in your suitcase left there until you decided that it was time to reopen that wound. You don’t think you’ll ever open it, not really wanting or needing closure from your ex-husband, you’d moved on well enough without it. 

Right now was about christening every surface of your new home by making out with Sae wherever he could get his hands on you. Sex was something he wasn’t initiating until you did, a boundary he’d put in place after you first kissed him. His hands would wander, but never in a way he thought would make you feel like he was pushing you to sleep with him in that way. His favorite spot that he’d had his mouth on you was the kitchen counter, slotted between your legs with his hands on your thighs and the way you sighed into his mouth as his hands moved up your sides made his soul sing.

“I’m so grateful to have you,” you whisper when he pulls away, a smile on your face as you catch your breath. “I love you, Sae. I know you’ve known, but I needed to make sure I told you outright.”

“I love you, too. But you’ve always known that.”

You only nod, hands holding his cheeks as you lean in to kiss him again. He’s so in love with you, never had he felt something so strong for another person. A ring he gave you sat on your right index finger, nothing too glamorous but he wore a matching one in the same spot - eventually he was sure you’d have matching rings sitting on your left ring fingers, but that time would come when you both were ready for such a commitment. 

He’d make sure to appreciate how you shone in the sun, the little laugh that left you when you were surprised with a kiss, especially the way your hand would seek out his while you were in a car with him. Lunches on the patio while you’re sitting in his lap, the fingers of his non dominant hand trailing up and down down your spine - the time he got to spend with you cherished since you weren’t traveling with him for matches. The privacy you two had added another layer of peace in your relationship, not needing to worry about appearances or media speculation on where your relationship was at. He could just be Sae, and you could just be you. Happy and in love and ready to take on the world together. 

And when you start having sex, Sae thinks about how fucking stupid your ex was. You’re gorgeous when your face is flushed, your lips parted as you can’t stop begging him for more or keeping your mouth on him as he makes love to you. Not to mention how you feel around him, never had he ever had a partner like you - pushing him onto cloud nine and catching him when he fell with his own peak. 

When he brought you into new locker rooms to christen his new space while you’re wearing a jersey with his name and number on it, watching you try so hard to keep quiet so you wouldn’t get caught and get him into any trouble -  not that he cared. He was Itoshi fucking Sae; he did what he wanted, when he wanted to do it. And if that was taking his girlfriend in a locker room, then he was going to do it. 

Your relationship is made public two years after you’d moved with him the first time; an instagram post from you showing off the ring and your fiancé, showing that you were happy. This was a media storm that Sae welcomed, something positive rather than the negative press he attracted due to his attitude. You loved him dearly, and he loved you proudly. 

That’s how it should be.

[saetoshi]

i know who my first call will be to — sae misses home more than he thought he would

Itoshi Sae’s heart stays behind in Spain whenever he leaves for overseas matches.

An absurd notion, most certainly. Ridiculous, in every sense that exists to the word. So unbelievable, in fact, that he still has a hard time believing it himself.

Nevertheless, it remains the only explanation behind the ache in his chest whenever he goes to sleep in an empty hotel bed. It’s why his meal times are dull and monotonous; why he finds himself pushing past his bedtime to remain glued to his phone, listening to you recounting your day.

Sae isn’t sure if you know it — how he desperately yearns to remain by your side. And if you do, you’re good at hiding it (he likes to think it’s for his sake).

His grip on his phone tightens just enough, a soft hum rumbling in his throat as he absentmindedly agrees with something you said.

When you lean closer to the screen, Sae nuzzles into his pillow, holding it tight as he pretends it’s you instead. You cup your chin with your hand, looking away as you trail off mid-sentence.

“I miss you,” he says, quiet and soft and so, so unlike himself, filling the faintest gap of silence.

Your eyes flit back, meeting his own through the screen. Sae has to strain to catch the soft exhale that leaves your lips. Then, you smile — gentle and (somehow) pitying at the same time.

“You’ll be home soon enough,” you say, your tone full of warmth.

“I want to be home now,” he replies, almost petulant as the pillowcase slightly muffles his words. His gaze softens when you do. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” you whisper, lightly poking the camera in a manner that has him instinctively scrunching up his nose. You tilt your head to the side, studying half of his face as best you can through a phone.

“My flight back is on Saturday,” Sae says, studying your face in return.

“I know. Want me to pick you up?”

“I land around midnight,” he mumbles. “I don’t want to keep you up—”

“Sae.”

The tips of his ears burn, embarrassment painting his cheeks red when your eyes meet. After a beat, he huffs in complaint, his brows furrowing. Still, your gaze softens; and he melts almost instantly.

He sniffles, lightly shifting onto his side. “I want you to pick me up from the airport,” he clarifies, trying to will a little firmness into his voice.

“Hm,” there’s a fuzzy feeling in his chest, fluttering and clinging to every corner at your soft hum. It further roots itself into him when you grin. “I’ll think about it.”

“What’ll it take for you to say yes?” he asks, trying to bite back a smile. He nuzzles into his pillow when you lean back, pretending to be deep in thought.

God, he misses you so bad. He misses being near you with every bone in his body.

“A kiss, maybe. If you want.”

Sae rolls his eyes, fondness buzzing in his chest. “I thought you were going to be more ambitious than that.”

You shrug, nonchalant, “I’ll max out your card when you get home.”

“Mm.” Sae rolls onto his other side, switching his phone to his free hand. “That sounds more like you,” he mumbles, soft.

The corners of his eyes crinkle when you guffaw, quickly defending yourself against his claim. His expression softens impossibly so — he’s sure the press would have a field day if they saw him like this. (Part of him thinks he wouldn’t care if they did; you’re the reason behind it, anyway).

“I wanna go home.”

“You’re staying in France for, like, two more days. You’ll be fine, Sae.”

He rolls his eyes, picking at the edges of his phone case. “Have you washed the bedsheets yet?”

“Yesterday,” you reply, absentminded. “Why?”

“Just wondering,” Sae murmurs, hushed. “Did you use the detergent I like?”

“Yeah?”

He makes a soft noise, “I hope you know I’m collapsing on our bed when I get home.”

“I don’t—”

“And I’m bringing you down with me.”

A soft, amused huff leaves his lips at your expression. His eyes narrow just a little, the action fond and affectionate in nature. When you sputter, Sae scrunches up his nose. He wishes he could kiss the frown off your lips.

“Whatever,” you grumble, softly clicking your tongue. “You’re lucky I miss you.”

“I miss you more,” Sae whispers, soft and gentle and so, so unlike himself. He supposes his demeanor is your fault — his heart turned to mush the moment he gave it to you. The thought is stupid and utterly asinine, truly.

Still, Sae doesn’t mind. He believes it more and more, letting it take root in his soul every time you brighten up at his tender, ‘I love you’s.

[wildandsmile]

commission idea🤌 vampire blue lock au characters like rin/sae/kuni/nagi etc and for kinks maybe like pinning/degrading ykwim i have a thing for neck biting hense why i love vampire au so much

Rian,Sae,Kuni,Nagi. Bllk boy when you tell them it’s ok to bite you

Total Wc. 1.1k

Warning. Oral F receiving, fingering, biting, choking, teasing, degrading breeding, riding, jealousy , sweet aftercare

An. This is my first time writing for vampires so...... yeah

Rin

He loses his mind, asking you a hundred times if you're sure about it, over and over again.

But once you reassure him, you're done for; he seizes every chance to take a bite out of you he can.

There's something about the way your blood tastes that sends his undead body boiling.

Oh, and he's a sucker for bloody kisses, the taste of your lips on his while your blood still lingers on the tip of his tongue, it turns him on like nothing else could.

And don’t even get him started on you guys are having sex he loves to feel you ride him while his fang are deep in your neck

You gasped out slowly, "Rin no more, pls I can’t take anyone ." As tears streamed down your eyes, and you couldn't grasp how long you'd been at it or how much blood you'd lost. All you knew was that weren’t leaving this room anytime soon."Come on, princess, be good for me, just one taste, please," he pleaded, not giving you any time to reply before sinking his teeth deep into your skin, watching as the blood rained down your neck."Fuck you taste so delicious and you feel even better," he groans as he rolls his hips, attempting to force yet another sweet orgasm from your already flowing cunt. He eventually lets go of your neck, but not before licking a long hot lap across your neck and pulling you into a deep kiss. It felt good, and the irony only added to your excitement as Rin began to thrust deeply into you. "Come on now princess, let me treat you real good for giving me such a great meal."

Sae

He's nothing like his brother; when you mention he could bite you, he's all in, almost immediately.

You even had to set a limit on how many times a day he could drink from you, fearing he'd drain you dry.

But oh, the teasing—he adores it, especially when he hears that little moan escape your lips. And after how wet you get just for his fangs

He LOVES going down on you and nibbling on your thighs; the taste of your blood and slick combined makes his head spin.

He's a HUGE aftercare guy, coming back with bandages, snacks, the whole shebang.

"Come on, slut, you can do better than that," he says into your already swollen cunt, sliding his tongue across your sloppy folds. You tried to pull away, but he pushed you hard into the mattress, keeping you in place so he could plunge his fingers deep within you and curl them in just the right position. "Fuck look at pet look at you getting our sheets dirty for me" he says as he begins to rub himself through his clothes. "Don't you think I deserve a reward, pet?" he asked as he itch the tip of your sweet spot, forcing you to melt in his hands and moan loudly.That must have been his answer because soon enough he’s licking long hot strips across your thigh before sinking his fang deep into your skin licking up all the blood that trickles down making sure not to waste a drop.“ You’re so addictive pet, but I think it’s time to give you what you want, ” he said as he wiped the blood off his face and licked it off his fingers. “I’m going to have to cancel my schedule cause we’re not leaving this room until you covered in my bite marks.”

Kunigami (Wild Card)

• Right then and there, he takes you up on that offer, no matter where you are.

• Throughout the entire encounter, he's a big bully, teasing and touching you, yet not allowing you to reciprocate.

• He revels in seeing you in that vulnerable state when he drinks your blood, something about your clinging to him that ignites him.

• His possessiveness leads him to bite you in places where there's no way to hide the marks.

• Despite his bullying nature and slight transformation, he still retains the same caring demeanor, as evidenced by your favorite food waiting on the table the next day with a note that reads, "Make sure to rest well today, doll."

"Didn't I tell you not to touch doll face?" he says, slapping your ass hard. "Only good girls get what they want," he says, and you whimper an apology before turning your face away so he doesn't see the fire burning your cheeks. But it doesn't last long as Kuni slides his hands up your skirt and rubs tight circles on your clit, feeling how wonderful and puffy you can become with just a few touches."You really are a dirty slut doll face is that why you covered up your bite mark cause you didn't want the world to know what a dirty girl you really were huh” he says as he peels the bandages off your neck, revealing all the bite marks you worked so hard to hide. "I worked so hard to paint this pretty neck like my canvas, and you cover it up," he says as he wraps his hands around your throat, hooking your panties to the side and sliding to figure in rolling them until you buck into him. In that instant, he sinks his fangs deep into your collar bone. "Guess I'll just have to cover all of you in my bite marks so you can't hide them again."

Nagi

Is lazy he just waves it off when you tell him and goes back to his video game

• However, should he catch you talking to another guy, especially another vampire, his demeanor takes a different turn.

• He's typically gentle about things, so don't expect too much until he's angered.

• When he does get upset, he becomes more animalistic, perhaps even draining you completely.

• Yet, he always apologizes the next day, showering you with the princess treatment, whether it's playing his game together or enjoying a nap side by side.

"Who the hell was that love?" Nagi asks, his eyes shining a venomous glow. You don't say anything because you know it will only add fuel to the fire, and that's how you end up locked in a mating press as Nagi buries his cock deep inside you kiss up to your cervix and his fangs even deeper into your skin drain you of what little you have. You couldn't tell if you were seeing stars because he pulled so many orgasms out of you or because of the blood loss."You’re mine, mine, mine," he says as he pushes your leg deeper into your chest and does a long lap across your leg before biting you and watching the blood trail down your leg. "You're mine, and I'm going to make sure everyone knows it, even if I have to bite and knock you up to do so."

[genuinelyshallow]

I think we all can agree that Sae would be horrible with fans

However,

I have a set in stone headcanon that he's fantastic with kids in general, and especially his fans.

Look, the boy was already a more reliable babysitter than most adults when he was 7-ish, and most of us believe he's cold on purpose to Rin. So, his children-handling talents are definitely still there!

Imagine him ignoring the older fans who are pushing and shoving to get him, but he spots a small child squeezed in the middle, and he stops, stares down the older fans to make way to save the kid from the clutter, and only gives his autograph to the kid.

He would go on his knees to talk to the children eye to eye. He smiles at them when they say they want to be like him (the smile shocks the media )

Before long, the fans waiting for him outside are mostly children.

It makes the 1# trending on media when a black haired 6 year old runs towards him, and Sae gives him a quick hug. No one knows what the boy said. ( The boy looked so much like Rin, and he said he loved Sae. He couldn't resist ok?! )

[your-local-baguette]

Night after...♡

Warnings: not proofread, no nsfw/smut, just bllk boys caring..

Itoshi sae

Although the rough night, Sae would wake up pretty early, knowing your exhausted self would sleep in. He'd leave a discreet kiss on your forehead, going for his morning run, the sun was rising, hues of salmon and pink mixing like paint. Not a single cloud was covering the skies, the view made it even more worthy. But he knew he'd come back to something even more beautiful, you motivated him to do everything, because he knew he'd come back to you, patiently waiting for him at home. When he came back, there wasn't a single noise in the house, he walked slowly, careful not to make too much noise. He pushed the door opened, only to see you, barely awake, eyes half open and hair messy. There was a faint of a smile on his face, although one on you was clear, especially when your gaze landed on him. He walked over to the bed while your upper body rose, your looked ethereal. He offered his hand, while you gently grabbed it, he pulled you up. You stood up, shorts and one of his shirts covering your body, your legs were trembling. You took one step after another, struggling to walk properly while he gently held your hand. But it didn't take long for him to slide one hand behind your knees and snake his arm in your back, lifting you up princess style. He took care of you for the whole day, knowing he had been pretty rough with you.

Itoshi rin

Like his brother, rin always goes on a morning run to keep shape and admire the mornings heavenly skies. After getting some fresh air, he come backs with your favorite snacks and a drink. He'll usually spend the day with you, mainly in bed so you don't have to move too much. He takes care of you in his own way, he's a little inexperienced but he does his best. If you ask him to massage your legs, he'll be shy at first but he's damn good at it, willing to anything if it helps. Maybe, just maybe he will let you play in his hair, he just can't say no to you, if you really need to get up though, he will gladly carry you there even if it's three steps away. Just to tease him you called him your little maid, he wasn't happy but not enough to stop caring for you. If you even move an inch without him helping it's a big no,no.

Ness Alexis

He's the kind to rub your stomach, play with your hair while you're still asleep. Soft music in the background, he has a gentle and caring smile on his lips, doing everything he can to make you feel safe and cared for. He was rough last night without realizing, he absolutely wants to make up for it even though you told him you like it. Will bring breakfast in bed and cuddle you all day, leg massage anything you want. He's a little sweetheart, he also kisses you a lot, knowing it comforts you, all kind of kisses; forehead, cheek, lip, nose you name it. He's looking at you with his pretty magenta eyes of his, gosh, he can't get enough. He wants to start all over again, he often runs his fingers along your back and your arms...

Only three characters, a little disappointed with myself on this but yea. Hope you liked it, if i hadn't mentioned the ykw this could have been if you were sick lol, but bye bye love youuu!

[dark-night-hero]

Imagine when Itoshi Sae realizes things a little far too late.

Imagine Itoshi Sae wondering when it all started? Messages rarely received, calls barely make it through the night, the way you look so distracted when the two of you were in a video call, the fewer parcels he received. The way you look distracted and sometimes even out of it when he was in a phone call with you talking about whatever stuff he rant about.

"I'm sorry Sae, can we call things off tonight? I'm pretty tired from work." You spoke with an apologetic gaze over the scene. "Huh? Oh, yeah sure." "Thank you, then I'm hanging up then, Sae." The call ended just like that.

Imagine the way he starts wondering, when did it start? The lesser time the two of you had for each other. When the two of you started your relationship, both of you almost could not live without a single text or phone call per hour. It's been three days since he last saw your face over the phone, nine hours since you might have accidentally put him on ready. Were you that busy?

9:46 p.m

Sae: You good in there?

Sae: You left me on read, so I'm just checking up on you. Did something happen?

11:42 p.m

You: Sorry, something came up and I have to work overtime at the company.

You: It's lunchtime out there, right? Make sure to eat properly, I'm going to sleep now.

Imagine him wondering when you started looking like that? When did you start looking so dull even when talking about all your favorite, the things and stuff you love, you both love. And when was even the last time you've watched him play?

"I'm sorry, Sae, what were you talking about again? I didn't quite hear it." For the first time in this fifteen minutes video call, you finally spoke first words after telling him talk, well more like spoke things you can't seem to understand nowadays. Not that you really can not, but nowadays, it seems like... It feels strange.

"I was talking about our next game next week in there, at 27th, I was wondering if you could make it-?" It sounded desperate, as if he was looking forward for you to come. Maybe he was. He have not seen you in person for a while now. "27th? Oh God Sae, I have an important board meeting that day, I'm sorry I wouldn't able to come..." Strange enough, it scares him how despite your voice sounds genuinely disappointed of the unexpected circumstances were, you look rather unbothered.

Imagine as he was looking forward to seeing you again once he got back into his home country. There, you were usually greeting him with a smile on your face. But now, it wonders him when did you started looking at him with such dull eyes and a rather forced smile on your lips.

"Is everything okay? You look.." like you don't want to be with him right now. Uncomfortable. "Huh? Ye.. Everything is alright right now. You're here now." Why do you look like you're trying to convince yourself right now? Did you even realize you did not even try to go for a hug like you usually does the moment you see him at the airport?

Imagine Itoshi Sae wondering where it all went wrong as he watched you pack your things as he stood there at the door right after you told him, "Things aren't working anymore between the two of us that's why... We should take a break."

Imagine as he sat down on the sofa at the spacious living room, he turned on the television to at least bring noise into the silent room. Only to find your favorite slow playing that sent a pang on his chest. He did not even dare turn it off. He just stood up and went into the kitchen when he found a still hot meal at the table, a note left right beside it.

Do not misunderstand, I still love you. Heavens, God I do Sae. I love you very much, but I can no longer do this alone. You know what I'm talking about Sae. I can't be in this all alone when it should be the two of us together. I'm sorry. I really do, but I really can't do this anymore. I hope you don't starve yourself, not tonight, not tomorrow, and the following day. Please do take care of yourself, I hate to see you neglecting yourself.

- (First name)(Lastname)

Imagine the way he scoffs and rolls his eyes, the note slowly crumple in his palm. But then, eventually, he let out a sigh and sat down the seat right in front of the meal left on the table. He doesn't have an appetite. And yet, as his shaking hands picked up the cutlery on the table, as he piece by piece ate the meal on the table. A single tear falls down, followed by another.

Imagine, the more he thinks about it. The more he realizes, he was the one to blame for all of this. It was never you. It was him all along, was it not?

"So the thing was, one of my coworkers-" "I'm sorry, can we talk about this next time? I'm really tired, we just finished a game and.." "Oh, I'm sorry. You didn't inform me you have a game today, I could have watched." "Hmm. Yeah, I forgot." Then he groan, "Sorry, I'm really tired I'm hanging up." "Okay dear, I love y-" Call ended.

yesterday, 8:47 p.m

You: Jgh, what about you?

You: Oh wait it's probably around lunch in there, have a nice day, dear. Please do eat a proper meal. :)

yesterday, 9:30 p.m

You: Dear?

You: You left me on read, is everything alright in there?

You: I hope you're alright.

yesterday, 10:28 p.m

You: Sae?

You: I know you're busy, but can you at least tell me if you're doing well in there?

yesterday, 11:47 p.m

You: I'm sorry if I'm bothering you right now, but I'm worried.

today, 3:24 a.m

You: I just contacted your manager, idk why I haven't done that in the first place, but at least I can now sleep knowing you're just knocked out after practice. I'm going to sleep now, I'm sorry for the spam messages, I love you. :)

"I didn't know you had a game today." You spoke over the phone. "Huh? I didn't tell you?" "You didn't." There was a bitter smile on your face. "Sorry, I must have forgotten about it. It's nothing important, after all." "Nothing important, you say.." "What was that?" "Nothing dear." You laugh. "When will your next game be? It's been a while since I've watch you on the field." "Oh that? I'm not sure." There was a few moments of silence after that. "(First name)?" "Yes dear?" "I got to go." "Alright, take care, I lov-" Call ended.

"You see, I've seen this great place for couples and newlyweds for a perfect vacation-" "Can't we just stay home?" "But dear, we've talked about this-" "It's been a while since I've been given a vacation, can we just.. Can't we just stay at home?" Frustrated, he didn't even look at you, nor was he able to pick up the hits you've been giving him, even the way you were caressing the empty spot on your ring finger, and lastly, the crestfallen look on your face that was quickly replaced by a fake smile. "... Alright, let's do that."

Imagine the way it was all coming back to him at that very moment. The way he just sat there, eating and crying, he could not even utter a word nor let out a sound of pain. Because he deserves it, he deserves every bit of pain he was feeling right now for taking you for granted and realizing it, a little too late. You have already left, and right now, all he could do was wait. Wait for you to come back, even if you might never wish to do so.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2023°

[tigreblvnc]

Who among the bllk members would be the best to drink with? The one with the highest tolerance? The lightweight? Drunk hcs ;p

BLUE LOCK CHARACTERS WHEN DRUNK.

warning: alcohol, drunkenness.

characters included: isagi, bachira, nagi, reo, chigiri, kunigami, barou, yukimiya, rin, shidou, karasu, otoya, hiori, oliver, sae, kaiser, ness + master strikers.

✦ [All-or-nothing drunk] Isagi takes the time to calculate the blood alcohol level per drink and how long it will take for his body to process it all, before his plans are ruined by Bachira, who convinces him to drink everything with him. Isagi either becomes capable of anything or ends up on the floor, unable to speak or think properly.

✦ [Happy drunk] Bachira is overexcited, drags Isagi around and tries every drink. He ends up plastered on the floor, hugging Isagi like a pillow.

✦ [Talkative drunk] Nagi is surprisingly chatty, holding the bottle like a stuffed animal. He drinks straight from the bottle like it's a baby bottle, with a weird trembling smile on his lips. He mumbles stuff, but no one understands him.

✦ [Dramatic drunk] Reo takes the bottle away from Nagi to lecture him about sobriety, before drinking in his place. He ends up drunk instead of Nagi, starts getting sad, and eventually cries over his past failures.

✦ [Clumsy drunk] Chigiri giggles at every joke and stumbles around. He bumps into furniture and can no longer run. If he tries, he trips and falls to the ground, unable to get back up but still giggling.

✦ [Sober] Kunigami doesn’t drink and scolds those who overindulge. At the very end, he cleans up with a large garbage bag and escorts the drunk ones home, carrying people like princesses.

✦ [Sober and angry] Barou is typically like Kunigami but loses his temper with anyone who messed up the room. Unlike Kunigami, Barou drags people out by their feet directly.

✦ [Responsible drunk] Unlike Isagi, Yukimiya sticks to his calculations and drinks only the bare minimum before politely excusing himself from the party and heading home. He’s perfectly fine.

✦ [Amnesiac drunk] Rin forgets his first and last name. He turns red and drools everywhere without realizing it. Confused, he babbles incoherent words and looks for someone to comfort him. Basically, he's a big baby with teary eyes.

✦ [?] Shidou doesn’t show any difference between being sober and drunk.

✦ [Melancholic drunk] Karasu downs his drinks while sitting on the roof under the moonlight. His cheeks are flushed, and he mumbles cryptic things. Sometimes, he looks sad, but he hides it. That’s why he drinks alone on the roof.

✦ [Flirty drunk] Otoya flirts more than usual and giggles a lot. He also gets more touchy, throwing his arm around people he doesn’t know and asking awkward questions before moving on to the next person.

✦ [Innocent drunk] Hiori gets carried away by Isagi, who got carried away by Bachira. He drinks one glass and already feels hot. He can’t handle alcohol but tries to keep his composure, even though his cheeks are scarlet. More philosophical than usual.

✦ [Experienced drunk] Oliver has an average tolerance for alcohol but is a regular. Basically, he drinks until he falls asleep on the floor or someone, with a silly smile on his face.

✦ [Confident drunk] Sae can’t handle alcohol too well but knows how to pace himself so that the other person gets drunker than him. After a few drinks, he gets flirty and more demonstrative, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll see him smile.

✦ [Fake drunk] Kaiser actually drinks non-alcoholic cocktails and neither holds nor tolerates alcoholic drinks, as they remind him of bad memories. He doesn’t drink in public to maintain his composure and avoid being seen as vulnerable. Probably a sad and violent drunk if he ever did drink.

✦ [Weak drunk] Ness can’t handle alcohol at all and crawls on the floor after two drinks. He babbles nonsense and keeps calling for Kaiser, even to people who aren’t Kaiser, as they try to pick him up. He probably declares his love to whoever comes near him.

+ master strikers.

✦ [Controlled drunk] Noa has flushed cheeks but remains perfectly capable of giving rational and logical speeches.

✦ [Sober and disdainful] Loki doesn’t drink, judges those who do, and even worse, judges those who can’t handle their liquor.

✦ [Euphoric drunk] Prince laughs and talks even more than usual. Very touchy. Too much. Claims to be friends with everyone.

✦ [Sober and melancholic] Snuffy doesn’t drink. The very thought of it makes him sad and reminds him of bad memories.

✦ [Uninhibited drunk] Lavinho loses all control and climbs on tables to give grand speeches praising the youth of football.

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | BLUE LOCK FANFICTIONS.

[str4ngr]

pmgomg i wanna request the suggestive prompt five with the itoshi brothers and reo

but they’re at a party and they’re kinda jealous so they drag you to their car in the parking lot

with also kind of a bratty reader

and i love your work so so much like sgdjejdhh and i needed to request

thank you!! 💗💗

not-so-secret.

s. itoshi. | my drug, my addiction.

cw: suggestive, foul language, jealousy, argument/silent treatment, teasing, gn & bratty! reader, secret-relationship. wc: 650. notes: i love this request i wanna go back to it and write a more full version. also my one of my faves so he's obviously first.

He may be a football player, but that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy other games. He was proud, no matter how aloof he looked. His team had won another game, another trophy to weigh down the shelf that leaned with the rest of his rewards.

It was like you were dense, and from Sae's perspective, you were. You were like a magnet to any overzealous man, staring at your figure in ways only, he, your boyfriend, should ever.

He told you it was for your benefit that he didn't publicly state your relationship. But at this point, he was about to go back on his word. Sae struggled to even think of ways other men, football players, or other (in)famous characters, might try to hit on you without getting envious but watching?

It made his blood boil.

Unmistakably, two drinks were in your hand, yet that nuisance of a blurry face who truly had no pertinence, let alone social status, was talking to you as if he were worthy of your beauty and company. More and more filthy men came, flattering you, trying to touch you.

And when you let them? Sae's vision turned red, ready to rip and shred any man who dared but here he was, stuck with some pathetic correspondent. His mind raced, eyes and face calm as he glanced past the journalist's shoulder to you, smiling at another irrelevant swine.

Curt and brief answers were all the journalist got, not as though he was expecting much else considering Sae's track record. But what he wasn't expecting was the abrupt shove to the shoulder and Sae brashly pushed past him.

Heavy, hard, steps approached you. You stopped batting your lashes up at the men, regardless of their reaction. They may have thought you gave your all and every ounce of attention to them, but they should have noticed how your eyes flickered to his face every moment, relishing every twitch of jealousy on his face. You fought back a smirk, enjoying how bewildered journalists stood, eyes trailing behind him in shock as he slithered his arm around your waist.

"Do you have something to do with my partner?"

Your brows quirked as you leaned into his figure, looking up your eyelashes, feigning innocence,

"Sae? What's got you so angry? You don't like my new friends?"

Such a sweet tone you spoke in, as if the fingers digging into your waist were never there. He cleared his throat,

"No." I fucking hate them.

His hand pulled you by the waist as he dragged you out from the banquet hall, letting you stumble behind him as reporters and paparazzi were on the scene faster than any police could have shown up to a murder. He pushed past them with you in tow, his whole body tense as you could practically see the smoke fuming from his ears.

You were in the car with him, silence shrouding the both of you. Of course, you felt proud, your boyfriend fell right into your little trap. But, was it seriously worth this kind of outrage? He was gripping the steering wheel so tightly, knuckles ghostly white as if they were about to rip open,

"You need to learn how to fucking behave."

Sae muttered in irritation, sharp eyes piercing your pout. His eyes turned back to the road when you began to whine again, some pathetic excuse. Pulling over and slamming the breaks, he snarled, fed up with your attitude. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of your jaw, drawing your face closer as he whispered in a dark tone,

"Keep misusing that mouth,"

Sae's eyes drop away from yours, staring at the way your soft lips quiver in fear, glossy with the overpriced bullshit he buys for you. His rough thumb brushes your warbling lip, a foxy grin on his face,

"and I'll show you how to use it properly."

notes: i'm assuming these were suppost to be separate, so the rest will come soon!!

[retroaria]

Itoshi who??? . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

summary: rin and sae both like you. In the end, no matter how much you care about them both, you’ll have to decide!

BLUE LOCK M.LIST | who would you pick? 💌

“If you’d rather be a ‘pick me up’ for some lukewarm fluke then go ahead.”

“Sae don’t say that, he’s your brother…”

“Well he’s a shitty one, he wants everything I have, including you.” Sae was furious when he found out that you and Rin had gone out together during his time off from Blue Lock. As soon as he heard the news he called you to say he had booked a flight for you to visit him in Spain. No matter where he was in the world, and no matter how much it would cost him, he always found a way to bring you back to him.

He grabbed your hand and pulled you to the balcony of his apartment, looking over Madrid. “I’m sorry sae, this is all my fault.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Rin just wants you to pity him and I won’t let that happen to you.” His hand in yours tightened and his eyes gazed into yours. You’ve known him long enough to see past that cold exterior, and see that his gaze is loving.

Sae’s admission of love to you felt different than Rins. He wanted the softening of his eyes to tell you he felt happy, safe, even loved in your presence. The strength he used to hold your hand and pull you closer into him telling you that he would keep you safe. The Madrid skyline serving as proof to the life he could give to you. The comfort and luxury you could find in his world. Sae wanted you to be part of his life, and experience all of his love. He wanted you to step into his world, and let him give you everything he could.

“Of course he’d say that, what a shitty brother.”

“He’s just frustrated is all, this is my fault really, I don’t want you guys fighting.” You spoke as you sat down beside him over the rocks. The oceans mist dusting lightly over you both, carrying the serene scent of salt and earth, Rin’s scent. As soon as Rin found out that Sae had demanded you back to Spain with him, he was furious. He asked you to meet him at the pier before you left. No matter what he was doing, no matter how long he had with you, he always found the time to be with you.

“This isn’t your fault at all, he just can’t stand not getting what he wants.” Rin took both your hands in his, urging you to face him. “I love you. I can’t let you blame yourself for this.”

Rins admission of love to you felt different than Sae’s. He was trying to make those three words shoot through his gaze into yours and find their way into your heart. He looked at you like he’d just seen an angel, as if you were the most perfect thing imaginable. In his eyes you could do no wrong. His hands in yours, holding on tight as if you might try to let go. He wanted to keep you with him, you being a reason for him to keep going, stronger than revenge. Rin wanted his life and all of his love to revolve around you. He wanted to step into your world, and let him give you everything he could.

I’d choose Rin ngl like yes baby let me save you from all your sorrows 🥹 -aria

This is my 2nd Sae post of the day!! Crazy!!!

[heartkaji]

gone, gone / thank u ☆

(n) — you’re a fool to think sae is anything more than a summer fling

dating sae is eating hard candy & crying when you get a toothache.

he’s half boy half heartbeat—the summer you met he was gold wind in a wheat field, hive full of honey & mouth full of stars. he swept you off your feet & kissed you silly by the riverbank, hands on your hips & teeth on your tongue as rose-blood crept up your throat. you love candy & you love kissing and being with sae is both so you pray his lips trace your skin forever.

sae is half boy half headache.

it’s been three days since you’ve last heard from him & communication is key so you don’t lock your heart away. pride is an ideology for the weak—you suck up your ego & cast it to the marigolds so now you’re texting sae with cherry bruised fingers. there’s an ache in your palms & it should be from the weight of your phone but you fear it’s akin to the weight of the world. sae never texts back.

sae is half boy half heartache.

summer is fleeting. cherry fields, brown sugar & your heart peppered into pink sheets of paper. you cast it to the current & pray that one day you’ll forget to remember the taste of sae’s lips whenever you stare into the water. there are thistles on your ankles and your knees are aching but the gash on your thighs will never compare to the split of your heart. you hope you won’t bleed forever.

sae is no boy, all heartbreak.

© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload

[koiir]

꒰͡ ⠀ ׂ YOU CLING TO YOUR PAPERS AND PENS, WAIT UNTIL YOU LIKE ME AGAIN ׂ ⠀ ͡꒱

Synopsis; After the end of another winning game, sae itoshi takes notice of who is interviewing his opposing team. The person who he broke the heart of when in Spain, so why is he growing jealous when he sees you with another man in spite of his rejection?

sae itoshi x fem!reader

Notes. Reader is a sports journalist . angst to fluff/comfort . Asshole Sae? . Reader wears a dress . Aged up characters . Jealous sae . Classic bad itoshi communication . 3.6wc

Itoshi sae doesn’t halt when it comes to his career, unlike many he isn’t easily tempted nor willing to take time for himself. Football being the core of his life, so when he’s in Spain with a three month break, his mind is lost.

“Seriously, stop working sae. You’re good enough as is.”

Lukewarm, his mind repeats. His determination grows more as he sees another football league near, his mind curious as he jogs over to the area keeping a mindful distance.

Some continue playing, some rest, and some…are being interviewed?

His eyes run through the person who writes down in a notepad, eyes focused as you gaze into the player as he speaks. Sae takes in your appearance, it’s casual for the most part. Though still professional enough to make you seem accountable.

It’s over before he knows it, and he feels like a stalker since you’re now walking back to your car before you spot him. Your eyes meet his, and you immediately know who he is.

“Sae itoshi?”

The tone of your tongue has him in a chokehold, it’s idiotic. He clicks his tongue, not saying anything before nodding.

“…I’m assuming you must be on a break after that successful season right?”

“Yeah, though I’m still continuing my training.”

You nod, you didn’t expect anything less from the workaholic the itoshi has been known for. The atmosphere in warms due to the geography, though there lingers another feel that you can’t exactly capture. He feels it too.

“Well, work hard and don’t over do it! I just might interview you one day!”

Sae nods, he takes into notice the bag of yours that sags down. Most likely to all of the work material held in it. He sees you shuffle, starting to turn around before he calls out to you.

“What’s your name?”

Your head looks back, chirping out an answer.

“Y/N L/N.”

He’s heard your name before, from others in the industry. As you wave goodbye, sae ends his workout for the day and heads back to his apartment.

He ends up reading through most of your works to fill in his gap of time.

The last thing Sae expects is seeing you again, will all of his teammates present this time.

When he was told of the email sent by his manager, Sae for the most part did not care. Not until the mention of a journalist was brought up.

He tells himself he is not getting nervous, it’s just the adrenaline in him for seeing his teammates again. Thus, he is not nervous.

When greetings are done and explanations are given, Sae feels a shift in his mind. But he doesn’t know what to think of it. He can’t be nervous, can he?

When his turn is up, his fist bawl together as you approach him.

“Seems like it’s fate.”

“Fate?”

“Yeah! Remember? When I said I would interview you some day.”

He very much remembers, Sae doesn’t know why he keeps thinking about the interaction you two had. It was three weeks ago, almost four now. Silently, and still not knowing it, but the itoshi is glad you could interview him.

To your surprise, you pull out a generous amount of information from Sae. The player usually is known for his little if at all, acknowledgment to journalists. But seems you hit the jackpot with this one.

His teammates and even assistant are astounded by his willingness to talk and answer your questions with full truth. They tease the man for his change of heart.

It’s short spent time, the interview being wrapped up and his teammates are all huddled together. But sae keeps his distance, his figure itching to move. To you. You’re about to leave with your manager before once again, you’re halted by Sae Itoshi.

“Can you give me your number?”

The blunt truth is given, and your face reveals your shock by the said action. Saw blinks, but this overwhelming feeling overcomes him again as he stares at you.

When he reaches his apartment, he now has a new number in his contacts.

The weather in Spain is unbearable, that’s what Sae hears your mouth ramble about almost nonstop when he’s with you.

How many months has it been? It feels short, though 6 months have passed since the friendship between you and the player arose. It was slow for the itoshi to warm up to you, but no matter what he kept close.

The highlights for him that have changed him are many, in your friendship he means. He’s not one to keep close ties with many, solace one he wishes to keep.

Three months into this newfound bond, Sae thinks as though his mind has been altered when he saw you tending to a stray. The cat hungry and meowing nonstop, until it was graced by the food you had.

Usually he himself wouldn’t pay mind to a stray, most likely not even noticing, but he doesn’t tell you how that small action has changed him. Now when he sees a stray, he lets a scrap of food fall towards the animal.

It’s as if he subconsciously chooses to, having a slice of hope that it might pull your closer to him.

When a week of straight work was jammed into your schedule, you couldn’t talk much with the itoshi. His eyes darting to his home screen seeing no reply from you, an irk appears on his forehead.

You invite him to a cafe. Telling him that he doesn’t have to come, since you most likely won’t chat with him as you work away.

“Then why bother asking?”

“I don’t know, I just feel bad that you’re waiting for me to reply or be done.”

For once, Sae hears from another about how impatient he is, but you don’t say those exact words. Just sparking at the implication.

Contrast to his words, the day of he walks into the cafe eyeing the table you sit at. You’re working as diligently as ever, it’s almost a direct copy of himself when he’s immersed in a match or practice.

His cup is being destroyed, his hands gripping the poor cup as his foot taps the ground. He really is inpatient. He’s never noticed up until now, or has but just doesn’t dare to admit it. Especially since you’re the one getting the rise out of him.

You haven’t said much, as he expected. But he wishes to hear your voice maybe, but that wish will only lead him to disappointment. He’s at least somewhat satisfied, your presence being a bonus he thinks.

Sae grows curious, more so about and how his mind works whenever he’s basked in your presence. It’s unsettling, new for him.

So his mind wonders the possibility of his whirlwind of emotions, he thinks. Very deeply. But nothing pops up.

Maybe soon he’ll understand.

“So, what’s up with you?”

The irritation in Sae only grows more as he hears the voice of shidou, his palms clenching around his products that are daring to spill out if he continues.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He’s been off, more so than usual. Just two weeks ago it’s been no contact, and he hasn’t been the best since. His plays are still good, that much hasn’t been affected. Though everything else screams different about Sae.

Those three words tick in his brain.

“I like you.”

He made you repeat them, the logic in his mind being gone in a flash as he deals with a situation that he can’t control.

He’s too quick witted for his own good, he did the worst thing he possibly could.

“Why would I feel the same?”

“You’re only going to get in my way.”

“Why would I waste my time on you?”

Yeah, Sae itoshi is only a mouthful of daunting words. But he’s not all that bad, he knows the worth in his words. And he they have broken your heart. He knows that this is on him, because why say such words if his heart opposes?

It’s a sea of void and uncertainty, waves crash and a storm can be made by a simple act. Somehow Sae feels as though he was the storm that caused the crash. It collapsed so fast and quick, can he even repair such a thing?

An emotion of love is wicked, it’s a whirlwind that surges through the person and Sae doesn’t like it. He doesn’t accept it. Involving yourself into a relationship only weakens the rest of you, so why risk it when he’s gotten to the golden age of his career?

He can be selfish, but this need is different. As if he desires it more than he thinks.

“God dammit.”

“Woahhhh someone’s mad.”

“I fucked up.”

The night of, Sae lets the newfound realization pull him deep. Though he can’t find it in himself to act on it, Sae itoshi can’t pursue this.

It takes months until he actually grows the courage to admit himself to the truth and be honest.

“You’re too sweet you know?”

“Oh, stop it.”

The uproar of the crowd is still raging strong, his thoughts and heart race only intensify as he glares at the opponent he faced.

It’s not like he lost against the other male, by game terms no. He was victorious this match, but that mindset shattered the minute he saw him getting interviewed by you.

He noticed you at the beginning of the match, and the deep voice in him told him to not look at you, to keep his eyes off of you and focus.

The adrenaline and rush in him must be due to the game, the thought of crushing the opposing team. Although his heart tells him otherwise. The thought of you watching him overwhelms him in a way that makes him score three goals.

Why must you impose such a huge impact on him?

It’s sickening, it’s pure torture to not walk up to you as if everything is normal. Or how the past once was.

You must be avoiding him, because multiple others are dying to report him but his answers are little to none. They aren’t the ones who can spew answers out of him, you are.

“Why’d you tell me such so much when you usually make comments so vague?”

“Because you’re not like the rest.”

“Huh?”

“Whatever.”

He watches your every move, and sae knows the player is getting every chance to butter you up. A flirt alright, and you play back with charm. It’s natural for at most, in order to show a genuine connection. Though to Sae, it has his mind in a fury as he’s a bystander watching the interaction.

“Stop glaring at your ex like that.”

He’s slapped on the shoulder by Aiku, the irk on his forehead grows as he mumbles out an insult to the male and shifts away from him.

It’s almost a relief, the mention of you being his “ex.” Because no, you aren’t. All that it was is you liked you, and he rejected that.

Now he knows how much of a fool he was, he rejected the idea. Not you. To many, that ideal is a stupid one. But in the moment, it was a valid point that made his decision come about.

He’s really an idiot, because he should have at least asked to stay in contact. But maybe his ego got to him, making him believe he was in the right. All those months without you just proved him wrong.

He watches you, and sees a man come closer to you. His attire is casual but formal, similar to yours in all black as he calls out to you. You beam a smile at him and sae feels his nerve break.

It’s in the way he laughs with you that makes Sae’s body turn cold.

He can tell the two of you are close, body language clearly showing a sense of ease and clarity for trust in the other. He feels the need to pull you away, Sae feels the grow of something in his throat, a grimace overtakes him.

The fixation on you keeps him unclear from the way you notice his stare, your eyes meet his and the gleam in them disappear in an instant.

He looks away, keeping his distance from anything and everything as a way to collect himself, he still has to deal with the after party for the game.

He wonders if you will be there.

It’s a ruckus, something Sae doesn’t wish to deal with today. The day has seemed long enough as is, though a ting of curiosity was infiltrated in his brain. It eats him alive, it’s only a couple hours of his night gone to drinks and a nuisance of people.

Besides, shidou does a perfectly well job enough keeping him entertained.

“Ooo, you might wanna see who came.”

Sae takes in the way shidou’s tone is one of tease and playfulness, it gets under his skin but he has an idea of what he could mean. Or who he meant.

The lighting doesn’t seem to work on you, cause Sae can still see the glow you carry as you enter in. He’s in a trance, because for the first time he’s seeing you all done up rather than in casual attire which still looked good on you. Clothes only being an accessory that showcased your true beauty.

He sees you wore a black velvet strapless gown that held a slit, it’s clear that it will draw some eyes. And his are one of them.

His desire for you grows strong, and now he allows himself to comprehend that need. No longer trying to sugarcoat the problem that has set him in a trance.

It shatters though when he sees who walks in with you, the same guy from the game who whisked you away. Most likely a coworker, but why does he stare at you with so much adoration?

“Woah chill, you look like you’re about to explode.”

The remark has him lift his fist, showing shidou the growing angry in him if he doesn’t keep quiet. Sae knows that now, he’s doomed for an unrelenting amount of jealousy.

It’s tempting, to say something unforgettable to the male at your side. Though he doesn’t wish to sour his reputation even more with you, he already broke your heart.

What place does he have to interfere?

It’s not as though you’re paying him any mind.

Despite the thought, it doesn’t last long the minute he sees the contact of his hand on your back. Keeping you at bay from all the commotion inside. The filter on his will breaks, his body uncontrollably stands to his feet as he turns a heel.

But a force of fault keeps him still, it’s as though his heart is keeping him from moving. From you. It’s seconds of contemplating as he watches, the itch in his body beings to grow as he sees you leave.

His fear of this potentially being the last time he sees you sets in. Who knows when you two will even be in the same proximity again.

“What are you doing sae!!! Go get her!!”

“Keep your mouth shut.”

Still, by contrast Sae has his figure swing by others in order to meet yours, it’s a distance worth the call outs that he ignores. Their voices cancel out to the point he has to reach.

His presence hits hard, the male at your side turning his attention to sae that waste no time in grabbing your hand. Your yelp one of surprise before your mouth trembles.

“Sae?”

☆⌒.*･

The task to drag you outside was one he expected with bickering, though you kept quiet as his hand was holding yours. The contact enough to make his ears red.

“Are you going to explain this?”

He hears your voice come out In a tone that reminds him too much of himself. And he immediately thinks there’s a big chance you’ll leave without him saying anything.

He’s quick to open open his mouth, preparing to speak, until he notices how close your face is to his. It’s cliche, the concept of “took my breath away” when referring to someone. Maybe he can understand it now.

Your lips are placed into a thin line, making him wonder if that smile of yours earlier was just in his head. But still, the patter of his heart, the warmth spreading through him, it tells him the truth about your smile.

“Who is he?”

“That’s your first question?”

Yes, because that’s all that has been occupied in Sae’s brain. Consuming his every nerve and eating away at his heart. This is the first thing he has to know.

A line caresses your forehead as your hands ball into a fist. You’re getting worked up. He knows it, because why you must wonder “why is he doing this?”

“He’s a coworker along side me. Joshua.”

“Well he seems like he has an eye for you.”

The words are blunt and enough to set you off, it makes you wonder just why does he wish to know so much? You two aren’t friends.

Does he not recall that day? The day his words were a statement of, “I don’t want you.” The words spilling out until you told him, “I get it.”

Because he truly had no reason to tell you every reason on his list why he would ever think about dating you. A simple rejection would have done the trick, not nights of tears and insecurities growing.

“And why is this your concern? We’re not friends.”

It stings, a sharp ache growing in him makes his eye widen. He doesn’t know why that caught him off guard so much. The cold tone? The words reminding him of his from then? The reality sinking in? It’s a shame on your end, that you haven’t left yet. He doesn’t know why you even stay, but he knows he still has time.

“I’m an idiot yeah?”

The self proclaimed question raises your brow, a smile comes to your face before it falls.

“Yes? Why do you need me to state it for you?”

“Because I’m just now realizing how stupid I was for being in denial.”

His sentence is vague, he doesn’t have it in him to say the rest. You take a moment to think, but the only situation he can be referring to is the rejection of yours. Were the words said in spite of his denial?

“Seems I don’t understand, you tell me since you started this.”

He wants to fight back, but he knows it would only be a matter of time before you can handle his attitude towards this. Admitting his wrongs, being truthful to what he wants.

“I don’t mean the words I said.”

If anything, I wanted you more than anything.

“Then why did you have so much to say? You told me to my face that I would only drag you down.”

He halts, because the words were nasty and harsh. He basically lashed out on you, his rebuttal to this has to prove it. That he reciprocates and is wanting to fix what he has damaged.

“I don’t know how to deal with my feelings, and I’m career driven. The idea of a relationship screams disaster to me and I was just in the mindset of, why change something already good?”

The aspect of your friendship with him was a change, though it doesn’t compare to that of a relationship. The idea of having you hanging, having days or weeks without seeing you, he didn’t see the need to hurt you because he thought that would be the outcome.

He never considered that it could be a beautiful change for the better, even with the challenges facing it. He copes with the fact that you’re going to be disappointed, but he might as well try.

“So you thought that pushing me away was for the best? Not even telling me about your feelings truthfully and just lashing out?”

He nods, his mind blank for a way to justify himself. But he can’t. He starts to feel desperate, and for once his mind is coming to terms with the idea of his loss.

“I’ve never bothered to speak of my feelings, in regards with things such as this. Because I don’t know how to or what I can do.

“Well, if you can’t figure out a way to prove yourself, I’m just going to leave.”

Your words are a challenge, because Sae knows you will make your leave if he doesn’t let his heart speak for itself. The act of words will be repeated, and he’s going to mess up what he truly means if he keeps this up.

His hand moves voluntarily to your wrist, pulling your closer with an arm wrapping around your waist. The hitch in your breath comes out, before your lips are sealed away by his.

It’s soft, the idea that Sae can be soft is one that seems fake. Far from reach, but it’s being presented to you right now as he deepens the kiss with a tinge of fear that you might leave.

You can’t, and you won’t leave. Your heart wins the battle of sorrow as you think that you understand what he means. His act of choice telling you enough, that he wants this.

“Please, l can wait for your love, all I need is a chance.”

His face remains almost stoic, but with how close he is, you see the soften in his eyes as his cheeks tint pink.

“Don’t be an idiot and try. Change.”

He knows what you mean by change, not change himself completely, but change his behavior to this new feeling. He can do that, with time. It’ll be worth it, if he can experience the sensation of this love his heart has.

“Promise.”

A kiss sealed, and the event forgotten. For once he sees the good in coming to this one.

a/n; we can’t be friends, but I’d like to just pre tend, you cling to your paperss and penss wait until you likeee mee again

[hauntedhokage]

it would've been sweet

Past!Sae Itoshi/F!Reader, Oliver Aiku/F!Reader

word count: 12.8k (fuck, i’m so sorry)

summary: You would never come before soccer. 

But you let yourself pretend that he was spending time with you because wanted to, not just because you were around and he was bored.

warnings: angst, unrequited love, unprotected sex, sae is terrible at feelings, rin is better but still bad

note: this is not a love triangle fic. kinda jumps around from “present day” which is about 3-4 years after where we currently are in the manga, right after Sae leaves for Spain, to the start of the manga when the blue lock program started. I tried to make it obvious where time settings changed without labeling but i know it’s different perspective wise since i literally wrote it. This is also based on my own personal canon that Rin softens up a bit as he gets older and that he and Sae never make up. 

[ao3][ko-fi]

“What do you think?” The question has you looking up from the mirror to where your boyfriend stands, dressed up and clean shaven, which has you tilting your head. “Is it bad? I tried to match your dress, and-“

“No, baby, it looks great! Just don’t recognize you when you don’t look scruffy.”

“The rugged look gets all the ladies,” he comments, coming closer to place a gentle kiss to your forehead as you sigh. “I know you hate these things, but I appreciate you going so we can suffer together.”

“Yeah yeah,” you mumble playfully, earning yourself a kiss. “You just like seeing me dressed up.”

“That’s just a bonus. You look just as beautiful when you just wake up, wearing my jersey, or naked, or-“

“Alright, lover boy. We’re going to make the car wait too long.” Your scolding has him helping you to your feet, mindful of the heels you had on as he guides you out of the bedroom of the hotel suite. It was going to be a long night of talking to soccer players, soccer executives, and their guests about soccer - your least favorite thing to talk about in detail. 

You honestly hate soccer. 

It was the source of heartbreak, your first and only, and you let the stupid sport continue to contribute to your emotional pain. Maybe you’re a masochist; continuing to surround yourself with the sport despite loathing it entirely, dating a man who played professionally, and wanted you at all of the events he could get you to. 

Supporting your best friend as he traversed professional soccer while hating what it had done to both of you. What it did to his brother to cause both of you the worst emotional pain of your lives. 

There are times when you think about Itoshi Sae, mostly when he comes across your television before you change the channel. He was once your best friend, with a chance that there could’ve been more had he not gone to Spain. But you’d never come before his soccer career and, at thirteen years old you couldn’t dream of asking him to stay. Not for you. All of Japan would have crucified you for trying to hold their treasure back from the greatness that came with the world stage. 

But that didn’t stop you from wishing things could’ve been like they were before. When you were both happy and he actually seemed like he enjoyed soccer and you enjoyed watching him. Back when he had appreciated you and your support, back before he went to Spain all those years ago. 

Time passes, though. He made his choices, destroyed his relationship with both you and his younger brother like it was nothing to him. Switched to midfield, changed his dreams, acted like you meant nothing to him. He was still revered on the international stage, still loved by Japan, and deep down perhaps you still loved him too. But that wasn’t something you had time to think about, you had a life to worry about. 

He certainly wasn’t thinking about you, why put energy into thinking about him?

It was easier to just say that you hated soccer, even though both you and Rin knew what that statement actually meant: you hated Itoshi Sae. 

You knew you’d never come before soccer, but still you felt special that Sae would make time for you between his busy soccer schedule. Granted most of that time was spent in school or just a half an hour before or after school, but it was still time he made to spend with you , specifically. He didn’t talk to just anyone, but he talked to you. A perk of being his neighbor since you were five, you supposed. 

Recovery days from the strict training regimen spent either at his house or yours, meant to be studying for exams but instead taking turns watching videos on your phones. His were always related to soccer, insane hat tricks and compilations of the best strikers, while yours tended to be more on the funnier side or were cake decorating videos since he found those to be relaxing. 

You were at every match, cheering him and his brother on as they dominated the pitch and wishing the best for their careers. They loved soccer and loved playing together, Sae always telling you in private that he did see a future for himself and Rin in soccer at the national level. Playing for Japan as the best strikers in the world, exchanging passes until they got to the World Cup - hopefully Japan’s first so they could mark a huge claim in the history of Japanese soccer with one of them scoring the winning goal based on a pass from the other. 

Sae meant the world to you, but you always knew that you’d never come before soccer. But you wouldn’t want to, he deserved to chase his dream and you wanted to support him through that as you trusted he’d support you in yours. That’s what friends did. 

You loved Sae, and you felt deep down that he loved you too. But you’d never come before soccer. Especially not when he was recruited. Just thirteen years old, not even in high school yet, and he was going off to Spain. Japan’s Treasure, your treasure , and he was leaving you to go pursue his dream. As he should, and you don’t feel bad about it. 

After all, you knew you would never come before soccer. 

You didn’t go to high school alone, you had friends outside of Sae to hang out with, but you still felt so lonely. To go from talking to him every day, watching him play and practice with his brother, to just…nothing? It sucked. You still go to support Rin, watching his matches at the very least and tutoring him when he swallowed his pride and asked , but life without Sae felt empty and you hated it. 

“Have you heard from him?” You ask after a few months of radio silence from the elder Itoshi brother, and your heart drops when Rin shakes his head. “Oh, I guess he’s really busy then. I know he has to learn Spanish too, on top of practicing.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s just busy. He’ll call when he gets time.” Was all Rin could say, and you give your own nod of agreement before pointing out that he forgot to carry the four. “Wasn’t thinking.”

“You never do,” you tease, ruffling his hair and earning a startled “hey!” from the younger brother. “Always thinking about when you can go kick the ball around next, when you should be thinking about these entrance exams.”

“I know I’ll get the minimum score required to get into my school of choice. Soccer will carry me the rest of the way and then I won’t even need to worry about graduating.”

Always following in his brother’s footsteps, Rin was chasing his own dream that he shared with Sae. His optimism was inspiring and infectious, bringing a grin to your face before you redirect him to the practice questions you’d provided. For a kid so talented at catching the right angles to kick the ball and score, he sucked at geometry. Maybe he was better suited for physics. 

Rin joining you at the high school was nice, you felt better knowing that he wasn’t starting school alone, even if he was just as lonely as you were without his brother around. Sae was irreplaceable to both of you, and yet neither of you had heard a word from him - not even a text at Christmas or either of your birthdays. He’d been gone for about four years, and you still waited for him when you should’ve given up. Any sane person would’ve given up, but you still had a deep love for Sae. Whether that was as your friend or if you had genuine feelings for him, you’d never figured it out before he left, but you hoped distance truly made the heart grow fonder and he’d do something about the fact that he’d cut you and his brother off completely. 

And then you get the news you were waiting for. 

“He’s coming back soon,” Rin comments as you eat lunch together, on a bench under a tree where you always ate together. “Something to do with his passport is what my mom said, but he’ll be back in about a month.”

“I’m sure you’re excited to see him again,” you comment, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the thought of seeing him again. Sae coming home was huge, and you couldn’t wait to hear about what he’d gotten up to while in Spain. You’d watched almost every single one of his matches, even bought a jersey to wear while you watched him play. A long distance good luck charm is what you’d sent to him when it was delivered - a text that got no response from your best friend. 

The snow was falling when Itoshi Sae was meant to return. Out of respect for the family that missed the eldest son, you don’t stop by their home for a few days. When you saw Rin at school he was visibly upset, more closed off than he’d been just a week ago when he was practically vibrating with excitement at seeing his brother again. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask after school, watching as he adjusts his gym bag on his shoulder while you put your shoes back on. “You’re clearly upset, Rin.”

“He gave up on our dream. That’s all there is to it.” 

You don’t believe that, but you know better than to pry into Rin’s feelings. The fact that he said anything was enough, especially as it related to his relationship with Sae. It was just unfortunate that the brothers who were once so close now had an entire ocean between them, both physically and in their relationship, courtesy of Sae. 

‘Sae is in town again. My mom said he asked about you.’

It wasn’t unusual to get a text from Rin, Sae’s intent to put distance between him and anybody who might’ve loved him had brought you closer to the younger Itoshi brother and maintained that relationship even as he went pro. It was now Rin’s jerseys that you collected and wore as good luck charms, anything with Sae’s name tucked away in a box so you wouldn’t have to look at it since you couldn’t bring yourself to throw them away. Even the stupid notes you’d pass back and forth with him in school - you’d kept everything. 

‘Respectfully, I do not care’

‘You do though. I’m not stupid.’

‘You are, I remember tutoring you dummy’

That gets a thumbs down reaction from Rin, and you sigh when your phone lights up with Rin’s name and picture. He couldn’t leave well enough alone, it seemed. Neither could you, most days. 

“Rin, please let me pretend to not care,” you request before he can even attempt a pleasantry. You know why he was calling, and you didn’t want to bring up the feelings you were trying not to deal with. “I ask for very little of you aside from a discount on your merchandise and for you to tell your teammates I said hi and am currently single.”

“You’re fucking annoying, y’know that?”

“You tell me every day. Now what do you want, I’ve got exams to study for.”

“I’m also in town at my mom’s request. It’d be nice to see you.” There was another shoe that hadn’t yet dropped, you knew there was always another shoe when Rin was around. He didn’t like that being his reputation with you, but there was nothing he could do about it when he was…the way he was. Much better than when he was a teen, though, but still awful. “My mom said that Sae was also going to try to get a hold of you. But I wish he wouldn’t.”

There it was, the other shoe. 

“What happened to not giving a fuck about what he did?”

“You’re still not over him. Seeing him isn’t going to make that any better, no matter how hard you try to ignore it, and I don’t want him to hurt you.”

“Rin, it’s been like eight years, give me a little credit please? I don’t want to see him, so I won’t.” It should be that simple, Sae didn’t know where you lived, so he couldn’t hunt you down. You’re sure his mom might’ve told him where you were going to school and what you were studying, you always caught up at Rin’s big matches and when you were closer to home for the holidays. She always treated you well, and your continued closeness with Rin made her feel better about how her youngest son was doing emotionally. You were like her bonus daughter, Rin’s older sister figure, a member of the Itoshi family complete with Christmas gifts and calls on your birthday, which was fine since Sae was never home for those events anyway.                                                         

“But you’ll see me?”

“You’re buying lunch, Rinnie. Or maybe a nice dinner? Haven’t decided.” But you know how it’ll turn out. Rin sitting on the floor against your couch with some horror movie playing as he betrayed his diet for once with sodium rich takeout that he’d complain about eating in the morning. Rin was predictable, unlike his brother who had always surprised you.

You never told Rin that Sae had texted you on your last birthday. Wishing you another healthy year, standard greeting for a birthday. You agonized over it for six hours before finally deleting it so you wouldn’t have to look at it again, knowing that responding would open a door you didn’t think you wanted to go through. Maybe he got the memo, but you’re not sure that Sae ever got the memo despite how smart he was.

“You’re a brat. But I wanted to make sure you weren’t crying because his name came up.” He knows you too well and you hate it, but you do appreciate that he cares in his own rude way. 

“You’re such a jerk. I’ll see you when?” 

“Tomorrow, unless you’re busy.”

“Tomorrow is fine. I’ve got class but that’s in the morning.”

“See you at noon. I’ll pick you up.” And then he hangs up on you, never bothering for pleasantries like saying “goodbye”. Those few seconds are extra time he could spend in the day working on his dribbling, or something stupid like that. 

But unfortunately he’s right, the mention of Sae bothering to ask about you - having the nerve to want to see you - after almost ten years of silence was incredibly frustrating to the point where you can’t stop the tears from welling up or the dam from breaking so your tears could flow freely. Your notes were ruined, teardrops making the ink bleed on the paper which would make you need to redo the page. 

In another universe, the one where at some point he chose you , he’d be right there studying with you. You wouldn’t be crying over him again, you’d be at the very least happier. He’d be teasing you in his own dry way for putting off your studying, and for teasing his brother so much. You think that you’d be having much more fun in that world where Sae was with you and not married to a soccer ball. Maybe he would’ve married you instead?

But he’d never choose you over soccer. He’d never be the one who chose you over the pitch, that just wasn’t Itoshi Sae. Trying to think of a world where he put you first was stupid and a waste of your time. You had exams to study for.

You tried to avoid him while he was back after what he’d said to Rin. Renewing his passport is what his mother said, and you understood that to be a somewhat lengthy process so you knew he’d be around for a while. At least a week or two, maybe longer depending on his paperwork. 

But in all your effort to avoid him, you end up running right into him on your way home from a mall trip with your friends. Rin wasn’t around, he’d gone off to some soccer camp, leaving you to do things with other people and without him tagging along in the back so you wouldn’t have to walk home alone. 

If Rin had been there, you’re sure he would’ve clocked Sae and directed you down a different street. But Rin wasn’t there, and you’re face-to-face with Itoshi Sae while snow falls between you. It was cold, about as cold as his eyes when they met yours, and you want nothing more than to go home but you’re sure it’s not going to be that easy. Sae was never easy to deal with, even when you were friends. 

“Hey.”

“That’s it?” you ask, rolling your eyes when he shrugs. “You’re gone for four years with no contact and all you have to say is ‘hey’?” 

His expression doesn’t change, and you feel yourself only getting more frustrated at that. It shouldn’t be new to you, he’d always been on the drier side, but given the history that he chose to write - the chasm he’d put between you - you can’t help but be mad. 

“You still cry when you’re upset. That’s a habit you should try to break.” 

“You do not have the right to say anything to me about what I should or shouldn’t do, not after what you did.” That gets at least a change in expression, a glimpse of an emotion crossing his features as you adjust your gloves. But as soon as it’s there, it’s gone. He was always very good at masking his feelings. 

“You act like there was an obligation to keep in touch.”

“That’s a joke, right? We had been friends since we were five and you say there was no obligation to stay in touch ? I knew and understood that soccer was always your priority, but you could’ve at least sent a text . If you didn’t want me in your life anymore, all you had to do was say so and I wouldn’t have spent four years worrying about you.” Your voice gets softer as you speak, your eyes no longer able to meet his as you feel the geyser of emotion start to bubble up in your chest. “But you made it crystal clear, so I won’t waste any more of your time. I have to get home.”

“Let me walk you.” 

“I’d rather walk into traffic,” you retort, stepping around him so you can continue on your way home. “You don’t get to pretend to care just because you’re back in town. You’ll leave as soon as you can, I’m sure. You clearly were happier when you didn’t have to see me every day.”

“You’re impossible.” 

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Can you stop for a minute?” The request actually makes you stop, but you don’t turn to look at him. You can’t, not when you’ve been crying because he sucks as a human being. “I wanted to see you, when I didn’t have to.”

“You also hurt your brother when you didn’t have to . Did you come all the way back for that?”

“What happened between Rin and I is none of your business.”

“Then what happened in Spain that you came back like this? This isn’t you , Sae!” You have to look at him now, need him to see just what he’d done to you. Before he left he hated it when you cried, even if it was at a movie, but now he looks unfazed at the tears streaming down your face. Who was he now? Just some soccer machine? “I want my friend back.”

The conversation ends when Sae closes the distance between you. The kiss is harsh, needy, but exposed a truth in both of your actions and that truth was in experience. You both had been kissing other people, and you’re not sure how to feel about Sae trying to date. Hypocritical for sure, but could you be blamed?

“That doesn’t fix anything ,” you murmur when he pulls away, and he only sighs as he comments on how frustrating you were. “And I don’t forgive you for hurting Rin. I won’t ever forgive that.”

“It’s still none of your business.” 

“Just fucking walk me home.” At this point it’s best to give him what he wanted. Arguing with Sae wasn’t easy when you were kids, and it’s obvious that he’d become more difficult while he was away. 

You never told Rin that Sae kissed you that night. 

Rin had left for Blue Lock at that point, telling you that his new goal was to destroy Sae and you’d only nodded as you wished him luck. At that point you only understood it to be a potential recruiting session, with the expectation that he’d be back in a couple weeks. 

Instead he was gone for months, and you saw a lot of the elder Itoshi brother in the younger’s absence. You never told Rin about that either. 

Quiet evenings with Sae watching you study for classes he’d never have to take, his own book in his hands and letting you sit in slightly uncomfortable silence. You don’t ask about Spain, you don’t talk about soccer in general because you hate that he used his experience with soccer in Spain to hurt his brother. But it “wasn’t your place” to intervene in their sibling quarrel, so you leave it all alone. You tell yourself that you don’t care, but the way you care for Rin tells you that you needed to in order to protect him since he was like a younger brother to you. Even if you were trying to protect him from his older brother. 

You let Sae spend time with you, you let him take you to dinner and make tea for you, you ignore your parents' questions about why he was around after you’d spent so many nights crying over him. You didn’t know, but you knew that he’d hold your hand sometimes while you ate in private and always left you with a kiss on the cheek on your doorstep. Sometimes you exchange kisses that escalated into heavy makeout sessions on your bedroom floor, and other times you sit in silence while you work at your desk and he stretches on your floor.

It was everything you had wanted from Sae, but you knew that you were simply a placeholder and nothing more. He was only around to see what the Blue Lock Program could produce, to see if a half decent striker could rise up to represent Japan and make their soccer decent for once. Once his curiosity was satisfied or disappointed, he’d leave again since his passport had been renewed. You were just a way for him to pass the time while he waited for something interesting to happen. 

You would never come before soccer. 

But you let yourself pretend that he was spending time with you because wanted to, not just because you were around and he was bored. What hurt you more was the fact that you were okay with his selfishness, because it meant spending time with him almost as if he’d never left. It meant for some purpose he wanted to be with you . 

Until he didn’t want that. 

You never told anyone how Sae told you after the loss in the match against the Blue Lock Eleven that your relationship to Rin was holding his brother back. How Rin would never rise to meet his own goals when you were tying him down to you. How Sae himself knew you would hold him back and that he’d be going back to Europe to play for a decent team. The words you’d always feared he would say cut so deeply after the months you’d spent at each other’s sides, and that’s when it truly has set in that you were a convenience to Sae - someone he knew would always take him back despite the pain he caused you - someone he could use and throw away as he pleased.  

Rin never knew what Sae had told you while he was in Japan last, and it was for the best. Rin had felt defeated after that match, hearing that Sae was more interested in Isagi than his own brother who was working so hard to exceed his brother’s level of talent. Knowing that Sae had stomped all over your heart would only make Rin more homicidal in his play style, and he needed a break from additional emotional issues. 

And four years later you find yourself laying on your couch with Rin sitting on the floor in front of you, takeout container in his hand while you play with his hair. He’d doze off on the floor soon, the food coma kicking in and you’d finally look at your phone where a text from Sae sat waiting for a response. He’d sent it the night before, asking if he could see you while he was around. You think about what it would be like to have both brothers on the same page again, to have Sae spending time with you consistently, to be happy with them both in your life. 

But you know deep down that soccer would always come first to Sae. You can’t forget or forgive what he’d said to you four years ago, but maybe he’d actually apologize for how he’d treated you if you saw him? But was it even with seeing him if that wasn’t a guarantee? There wasn’t even a guarantee that it’d be a pleasant meeting, Sae just sucked like that. 

“You’re thinking too much,” Rin comments, tilting his head back against the couch cushion so he could look at you. “Oh, that’s the Sae face.”

“I do not have a ‘Sae face’.” Your retort is met with the familiar deadpan stare you often got from Rin when he thought your argument was stupid. He only sighs in return, and you try to adjust your expression to be less like whatever it was previously. “What does that even mean?”

“You look like someone kicked your dog, to start. You’re also crying.”

You were? Rin reaching up to wipe them away had you embarrassed, mumbling about allergies even though you both know that was a lie to save face when you didn’t need to do that for Rin. Sae had him just as fucked up as you, the last time they met on the pitch resulting in a heated exchange that made worldwide sports headlines for weeks. You’re surprised Rin didn’t risk a red card to play more aggressively against his older brother, but the yellow card he did get was worn like a badge of honor when you scolded him for it later. 

“I’m sorry Rin. He texted me, is all, and I don’t know that I want to see him. Last time I saw him, it didn’t end well.”

“Does it ever end well with him?”

“No,” you mumble, letting him sit you up so he could get on the couch with you. It’s not long before you’re laying on him, head on his shoulder as he reminds you that you don���t need to see Sae and definitely don’t need him in your life. You were about to get your degree, and a job out of it too based on the internship you’d finished, and you did it all without Sae. Neither a of you needed Sae, and you both understood the universal truth: Sae would always choose soccer first. Before his brother and certainly before you. Putting effort in when you know it won’t be reciprocated was for fools. 

“Seeing him might give you closure, but you need to figure out when you’ll stop running back to him and giving him that power over you.”

“You’re annoying when you’re right.”

“I’m only saying that he only does this to you and I’m getting sick of it. You can make your own decisions, but I don’t like seeing you cry over him. We’ve done too much of that.”

You had, and Rin truly was annoying when he was right but you know you’re lucky to have him - someone who knew exactly what it felt like to be pushed aside and put down by Itoshi Sae. By someone who once cared so much and wanted to see you succeed, then flipped the switch and became the biggest asshole you’d ever met. What you’d do without Rin, you weren’t sure. 

“Thanks for putting up with me all this time,” you whisper, tears welling up again but this time because you’re so grateful for him. He’ll hate it when he realizes you’re crying again, but you think this time he’ll keep it to himself. 

“You’re my big sister, putting up with you is kinda my job,” he murmurs, kissing your head as he adjusts his back. “But I cannot sleep on this couch.”

“ You put us here, shithead.”

Despite all your best intuitions, you text Sae back. You do tell Rin that as he’s leaving your apartment the following morning, and he leaves you with the suggestion that this be the last time you communicate with Sae. There isn’t an ultimatum there, but you know that you can’t keep allowing Rin to clean up the messes Sae left behind. Despite your close relationship and mutual understanding of how much it sucked to be emotionally fucked by Sae, it wasn’t fair to Rin that he picked up the additional emotional labor that was you crying over his brother or looking like you wanted to cry at the mention of him. You had a “Sae face”, for fuck’s sake - that could not last.

It’s always cold when you see Sae as adults. Mostly because it was the mid-season break in the middle of winter, but you also find it fitting that the weather fits how you feel the conversation should go. Indifferent, signaling the end to a one-sided friendship and the way he continued to keep you at arm’s length. Sae never felt warm, even down to the way he looked at you, it was a cold indifference that made you feel like you were stranded in the arctic with no way to truly understand what you did to be left that way. But you’re here now, standing in front of him as he watches you, not a sliver of interest in his expression that made you feel like he wanted you there despite the request that you come see him and make the time for him that he never made for you. 

“Hey.” Your greeting is about as level as you can manage, trying to maintain the cold indifference he always met you with. He looks tired, moreso than usual, which has you concerned but not enough to ask. He wouldn’t ask you if you were okay, that same courtesy should not be extended even if the words dance on the tip of your tongue with a need to be bitten down to keep yourself quiet.

“It’s cold out here, we should head into the hotel.” And he’s gesturing to the lavish building to your left, the building you hadn’t noticed because Sae gave you tunnel vision. “I don't have time to get sick.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” But you follow him anyway, loosening your scarf as he leads you to the elevator before your gloves come off to get tucked into the pocket of your coat. You aren’t sure how long you’ll stay, but you’re not trying to overheat either. 

“My mom says you’re almost done with university.”

“Yeah, I graduate in the spring.”

He only nods as the elevator stops, and again you’re following him down the hall to what is only the second door you see in the entire length of the hallway. Lavish hotel, lavish suite, you’d expect nothing less of Japan’s Treasure. Your boots are carefully removed before you take off your coat to hang up, acutely aware of how Sae watches you as he does the same. He was always watching, and you hate the way he could figure you out in seconds but never let you into the locked vault that was his brain. There was so much you could’ve learned if he’d just reciprocated some level of trust, but the last time you understood Sae was when you were in middle school - before Spain, before Blue Lock, before he broke your heart for the first time. 

“Why’d you text on my birthday?”

“It was your birthday, wasn’t it? It’s polite to do that.”

“You haven’t done that in almost ten years.” 

He gestures to the table on the other side of the suite, two plush chairs waiting for you both to sit and talk. That’s what Sae wanted, you supposed - to talk for the first time in four years. So you sit, tucking one leg under your body and nodding when he offered you some tea. 

But then he’s quiet; watching as you sip at the tea provided, holding the mug in your hands as a way to close yourself off from him. He couldn’t hurt you if you didn’t let him in to do that. 

“I want to make one thing clear, Sae.” You finally break after a couple minutes of unsettling silence, setting your cup down on the coaster before folding your hands in your lap. “I don’t have time to fuck around so please just get this over with and call me a stupid and hopeful girl that’s holding you back so I can go home.”

“Is that what you expected to get?”

“It’s the last thing you said to my face, so yeah.” He only nods at that, knowing that there was no denying that statement. “I can’t keep doing this, letting you show up every four years just to butter me up and then tell me to fuck off. I can’t keep trying to be your friend if you can’t even give me five minutes that I deserve when you’re not benefiting from it directly.”

He’s silent, and you continue to sip your tea while letting him process that. After a moment he stands, still saying nothing as he crosses the suite to get to a small box that sits on the dresser in the room. It looks expensive, a cherry wood case that is set delicately on the table in front of you. It’s as he sets it down that the sleeve of his shirt rides up a bit, revealing a familiar braided string of yarn that you’d made at a scouts camp. It was much too worn to be anything else, and your hand catches his wrist before he has the chance to sit down again. 

“You’ll spill your tea.”

“Shut up,” you whisper, setting the mug down with your free hand before dragging your index finger along the bracelet until it catches the two beads that were braided side-by-side into the yarn. Black and white, “like a soccer ball” is what you’d told him all those years ago, and the way he smiled as you tied it around his wrist made you feel something your eight year old heart hadn’t been able to compute. “You still have it.”

“I’ve always had it. I only take it off to shower.” He speaks so softly you barely hear him, the hand on your cheek bringing your attention away from the bracelet and to him as he squats in front of you. “And I know I’m a piece of shit, Rin made sure to tell me at our family dinner a couple nights ago, but I guess I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you and I’ve had you with me like you kept me with you all this time.”

“Why didn’t you ever just say that?” Your question has him sighing, and you look at him expectantly as he averts his gaze to look at the box instead. “If you’ve known all this time that I wanted you and you kept this - why not just say something?”

“I guess I just have to complicate everything.” You know that’s a joke - it has to be an attempt at one - and you can’t help but shake your head before you also look to where the box sits on the table waiting for you to open it. “I got this for you, putting it in the mail felt too impersonal.”

You don’t comment on how impersonal usually suited him just fine, not wanting to kill whatever moment you were having as your hands leave him to carefully open the box. You’re not sure what you’re expecting, but to hear an old pop song you’d enjoyed while he was spending time with you while Rin was at Blue Lock wasn’t it, and the tears well up in your eyes as it’s fully opened and you see a very old picture of you with Sae at one of your birthday parties pressed into the lid. Cake frosting on your face as you’re laughing, Sae’s finger still covered in frosting in the frame as he looks so proud of himself for getting you like that. Printed onto glass, a memory that you’d never forget because that was when Sae was happy , and preserved somewhere other than your heart (and apparently with one of your parents).

Then he pushes a button on the side of the box, the soft base lifting slowly to reveal a bracelet that looks so much like the one you’d made for him all those years ago. Only where he had two beads, this one has a small metal plate with a date on one side and you turn it when you see kanji on the other. 

“‘Thank you for being my harbor’?” 

“You’ve always been a safe place for me to come home to. A harbor for me to dock in. Even when I suck.” The explanation makes you chuckle as you wipe some stray tears from your cheek, commenting about how he spent too much time looking at the ocean while you watch him turn the bracelet over in your hands. “This was our first day of kindergarten. The day you decided you were my best friend.”

At that moment you don’t care about his career or potential for injury when you launch yourself at him. Arms tight around his neck as he barely catches you in time to cushion your fall as he hits the carpet below you. 

“I didn’t think you had a heart,” you tease, earning a huff from the man below you but no other comment. “Thank you, Sae.”

“I’d try to stay for you.” His voice was almost so quiet you didn’t hear it, and you can’t stop yourself from kissing him in your excitement to hear him say that.

“You mean it?” You don’t get a verbal response, instead his lips reconnecting to yours in a kiss that was less exciting but not lacking in passion. A warmth that rarely emanated from Sae made you feel like you were on fire, but he always made you feel like that when he kissed you. “Sae-“

“Don’t think too hard about it,” he instructs, hand coming to rest on the back of your neck. “Do you want this?”

“What is this ?”

“Currently? I think sex,” he mumbles, kissing along your jaw where he could reach in this position “After that? I’m not sure.”

“Yeah, we’ll figure that part out later,” you murmur, tilting your head back to give him better access to your neck. “But now, sex is good.”

You hate how easily your shirt comes off, his task that was exploring your neck barely interrupted by pulling the fabric over your head with your bra following shortly after. You have to sit up to allow yourself the space to undo the buttons of his shirt, and he helps you by starting from the bottom to complete the task faster. The shirt and his undershirt are shed quickly after he sits up, his hands then occupying themselves with your breasts as your mouth meets his once more. Your hands undo his pants, fumbling in search of his length that you’d felt getting hard beneath you while you were kissing him. It’s easy for him to push you both up while he bridges his hi[s, supporting you with just one hand while his other helps you push his pants and briefs down so you’d have the access to him that you wanted. His length is hot in your hand, a soft groan escaping him as your hand blindly explores previously uncharted territory.

“Is someone sensitive?” you ask, smile on your face as he scoffs. Your own pants start to get wiggled down your hips, and you cooperate as he adjusts your body to ensure he could get your pants and panties off without needing to pull too far away from you. His ability to manhandle you shouldn’t be surprising, considering the intense strength training all professional athletes worked through, but for it to be Sae shuffling you around with little effort was something unexpected. Maybe it was because you consistently still pictured him as the same young teenager, the untainted version of Sae that loved you, but you can’t dwell on that when you feel a couple fingers slide through your slick folds. 

His fingers ease into your cunt, it seemed like he was trying to match the easy pace of your hand with his thumb rolling against your clit shortly after your thumb runs along his tip. Like in all things, Sae is meticulous and observant and he worked diligently to get you ready to take him. He felt big in your hand, but without having a proper look at his cock you’re not sure if he was over or under preparing you so you’re trusting him while his fingers work expertly inside you. It’d be weird to ask how many people he’d been with, considering he clearly didn’t care how many people you’d been with - did it actually matter if you were here now? Probably not, but you always worked overtime thinking about what Sae was possibly up to without you. 

“Ready?” He’s asking you as he pulls his hand back, but not looking at you as his attention is redirected to your neck and shoulder. “Don’t wanna cum in your hand, would rather do that inside you.”                                                                            

“Condom?” you ask, wincing at the way his teeth gripped the skin at your jawline, before he let out a hum that sounded like a no. 

“Not necessary.” The confirmation of his thought has you smiling, bumping your head against his as he looks up at you. 

“How do you know I don’t want to trap you into giving me your money to raise a prodigy child?” you tease, earning yourself an exasperated sigh as he nips the shell of your ear. 

“You’ve had access to Rin’s money for years and all you ask for are jerseys and tickets.” You’re mad that he knows that, but you’re sure that Rin has probably thrown it in his face once or twice that you don’t ask for much at all outside of basic human decency and how Sae couldn’t give you that. “He’d give you anything you asked for, maybe not a kid though.”

“He can’t give me you.”

“He’d kill himself before agreeing to that,” he murmurs, peppering kisses around your cheek as he eases you onto his length. “Gonna take all of me? I know you can.”

You could, but not without effort. Sae wasn’t excessively girthy, but he was longer than others you’d taken. You liked that you were on top, having more control over this despite his hands on your hips guiding you down as he whispers in your ear how well you were taking him. You don’t take his entire length on the first pass, but he’s still enamored as he leans back against the bed to properly take you in. 

“You’re really pretty when I’m stretching you out like this.”

“Only when you’re fucking me?”

“All the time, you’ve always been pretty,” he responds, hand around your neck to keep your gaze locked on his. “But this is something special. Not just anyone gets to see you like this.”

That much was true, you were selective about who had access to you despite working overtime in college to do whatever you could to forget about Sae. You think mostly it was to keep your image clean for Rin, despite him never asking for the intimate details of your life that could tarnish your image in his eyes. 

“Thinking too much,” he scolds, gently tapping your cheek to refocus your attention on him and only him . “You wanted my attention so bad, be good for me then.”

“You chased me this time,” you counter, rolling your hips against his and pulling a hiss from between his teeth. “So shut the fuck up.”

“Bossy,” he murmurs before pulling you in for another kiss. It’s more calculated than you’d expect for having his cock buried in your cunt as his hands help you ride him. There was a universe where you and Sae were like this all the time, you’re sure of it. One where you’re happy and in love with each other to the point where you can’t keep your hands off one another. A universe where it didn’t take eight years for him to say that you meant something to him - where he didn’t run from experiencing a human emotion to maintain a cool composure on the field. It was probably a world where he didn’t play soccer, and would probably never be the universe you lived in currently. 

“Why are you crying?” he whispers, the hand that wasn’t holding your neck carefully rubbing your side in an effort to calm you down. You have even realized that you were crying, how embarrassing. “Does it hurt?”

“No, it’s okay,” you murmur, trying to reassure him as you continue fucking him, but you know you don’t believe it. “Thinking too much, like you said. Missed you a lot, y’know. This is nice.”

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t think so much,” he comments with a sigh, brushing his nose against yours as you shrug. 

“Do something about it, then.” 

He moves quickly at your challenge, your back hitting the plush carpet with a soft thud as he changes the position so he was on top. Your hands settle on his chest as he kisses you, the coil in your stomach tightening with every deep thrust into your pussy. His kiss is sloppy, needy and so uncharacteristic of the usually very meticulous man you’d come to know and love but hate most of the time. 

“Sae, please,” you whine as he pulls away, cheek pressed to his as he presses his face into your neck. 

“Keep saying it,” he requests, nipping and sucking at the skin he can get to as he pounds into you, one hand gripping your leg to bring it up to his hip for the deeper angle that has you seeing stars. “Let the whole hotel know who’s got you.”

“S-Sae,” you moan, his hand finding your clit bringing a choked gasp out of your lips that has him grinning into your skin. 

“So good for me, you like the way I fuck you?”

“God, fuck yes!” You’re thankful his suite is so large, preventing many, if any, people from hearing how desperately you were missing for him. “S’good Sae.”

“I know,” he grunts, the sound coming from deep in his throat and sending a shiver down your spine.  “Fuck, you feel great. So good for me.” 

Your core continues to tighten with every thrust, signaling the beginning of the end for you, and you hope he’s also close because you’re not sure you could handle any more. You didn’t have the soccer stamina like he did. 

“Sae, I’m gonna cum.” That gets his attention, leaving your neck with an open mouthed kiss before he’s looking down at you again. He’s smiling as his hand pushes your hair from your face, kissing your forehead as he feels your walls begin to constrict around him. 

“Come on, baby, you can cum for me,” he murmurs, hands cupping your cheeks as he forehead rests against yours. “C’mon, beg a little bit for me as you do, yeah?”

“Sae, please,” you whimper, gripping his forearms as he grinds his hips into yours. His pelvis rubs against your clit with every stroke of his hips, his own normally controlled gaze unfocused as he feels his own end approaching. “Sae- yes, fuck - SaeSaeSae please. I’m gonna-!”

His moans are less intelligible as he tries to hold out through your orgasm, you barely make out your name among a string of curses until he finally stills as warmth floods your core. One small thrust followed by a second push his seed deeper into you, the press of his lips kissing away the tears that had rolled down your cheeks.  

“The floor is not where I’d wanted to do this,” he murmurs but you only try to shake your head because you truly did not care. “You okay?”

“You’re going to have to check for a rug burn, but I’m good. More than that.” Your assurance comes as he pulls out, helping you to sit up before pulling you to your feet with him so he can help you to the bed on wobbly legs. He tells you to stay put for a moment after laying you down, and you watch from the bed as he leaves for the bathroom. 

When he returns, he turns you on your back so he can check your skin for rug burns as requested while his other hand brings a washcloth between your legs to clean up the mess he’d left. Always striving for efficiency was Sae, and you appreciate the care he puts into getting you ready for bed. You honestly wouldn’t have expected that of him but, then again, this entire night was something you wouldn’t have expected from him. 

“You look fine.” Is all he says before placing the softest of kisses between your shoulder blades, bringing a smile to your face before he goes to put the washcloth back into the bathroom. This time when he comes back he pulls you into his side, letting you rest your head on his shoulder while you continue to bask in the afterglow of having sex with Sae. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, uncomfortable with the sudden silence despite the way he was relaxed beneath you. It wasn’t odd for him to get quiet, but after sex it felt odd. Was he regretting it, or trying to figure out how to ask you to go back home? What if this was all for him to get some closure he was looking for?  

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just thinking.”

“Want to share with the class?”

“You asked what happened in Spain, and I never told you,” he murmurs, hand rubbing your back as you look up at him. “Never told anyone, really.”

You hum, gently tracing patterns on his chest with your fingertips as he sits in the silence. You weren’t going to say anything that could break his train of thought, not wanting to destroy whatever vulnerability he was going to extend to you. 

“It’s different when you leave Japan. I know Rin has probably told you about some of it, but him exploring at seventeen or eighteen was vastly different than being thirteen.”

“I’m sure. You had to learn Spanish too, right?”

“I did, which is fucking hard when your English also isn’t great.” So at least you were right about that much, the stress he was likely under was unimaginable. “My translator worked overtime.”

“I’m sure.”

“But I think the worst of it was just how alone I was. A child, so hyped up and for what? The rug was pulled from under me very fast; not speaking the language created a lot of barriers for me, along with my age and obvious inexperience with how the real world works. Thought I knew everything, but I didn’t know shit.”

“I mean, you were just a kid still, did they not-“

“They didn’t care. I could’ve been a toddler and they wouldn’t have given a shit. And they taught me quickly that everything you have can be taken away from you. I guess initially I didn’t want them to try and take you, too. Then it was just, everything changed. I had to change my entire mentality about soccer to succeed there and it took over. And I can’t break it, or else I break my soccer.”

“You realize that’s not a good excuse to have acted like a complete dick for the last ten years, right?” You ask, propping yourself up to look directly at him. “Like all you had to say was ‘Spain sucks, I’m miserable, and I don’t want to push you away but I know I suck’ and I would’ve tried to understand more. But then you did the rest of it, and did irreparable damage to Rin and I.”

“I know,” he sighs, his eyes closing as you roll yours. “I know, and nothing I can do will fix that. You just wanted to know, and I owed you that.”

“You’re pretty hot when you’re vulnerable.” Your attempt to lighten the mood lands, earning a snort from the usually collected Sae before he opens his eyes to look at you again. “I’m serious!”

“I’m sure,” he mumbles, settling more into the bed while trying to pull you back down into him. You don’t let him get you easily, pulling back against him so you could continue that eye contact with him. 

“Are you sticking around this time?” The question has him sighing, and you feel bad for ruining the moment but you know you need to talk this out. “I meant it when I said I can’t keep doing this. If you’re not sticking around, or if you’re going to leave without saying anything and cut me off again, then we’re done on all fronts. I can’t keep waiting for you to choose me.”

You think you know the answer when he sighs, but you let him pull you down into his chest this time. You’d enjoy it while it lasted, you supposed, the consequences would be felt in the morning. Sae was finally yours , even if it was only for a night. 

You wake up alone in the hotel suite, still naked but neatly tucked in by who you could only assume was Sae. The woven bracelet is tied around your wrist, which gives you hope, but looking around the room tells you that he’d left entirely. No suitcases, no remnants of the clothes you’d shed on the way to the bedroom, your own clothes neatly folded at the end of the bed. He did exactly what he told you he wouldn’t do, which has your stomach dropping as the tears well up. 

Deep down, you knew he wouldn’t keep his word. He would never choose you over soccer, after all. 

You feel ashamed as you leave the hotel, the snow still falling and you’re tempted to walk all the way back home to just marinate in the emotions you were feeling. But you don’t, instead calling for a taxi where the driver listens to you sniffle in your own misery with a sympathetic look on his face. You hate being so vulnerable, exposed in public for having your heart broken and the pieces stomped on by someone who grew up with you, but it’s another thing you can hate Sae for. 

Coming home to Rin sitting on your couch was not what you wanted exactly, but pulling off your layers and then flopping on the couch beside him was what you needed. He’d be disappointed that you’d bought into Sae’s lies once more, but he’d be relieved to hear that you were completely done now. You’d learned your lesson one too many times, and now you could both move on from this constant cycle of heartache. 

“What happened?”

“Details you don’t need, for starters,” you sigh, earning a gagging sound from Rin that makes you roll your eyes. “But I told him if he left like he did the last two times, not saying anything and just going ghost that I wanted him to never talk to me again. And when I woke up he was gone. Like he was never there.”

“Bastard.” Is the only thing to leave Rin as he pulls you into his side. “But I suppose he finally made his choice.”

“He’d always made his choice, I’m just an idiot.” He doesn’t have anything to say to that, and you just lean into his shoulder while you try to fight back the next round of tears. You appreciate that he doesn’t want to make you feel worse by telling you what he thought, but the silence was horrifyingly loud. “I should shower.”

“I’ll make some breakfast for you.”

After you were clean and had eaten, Rin left for his own training regimen and you sat on your couch while staring at your phone as it vibrated on the coffee table. Sae had already called twice, this would be the third time he’d called. You don’t want to answer, but you know you have to or else he wouldn’t stop calling. But maybe he’d come back if he thought you hadn’t made it home? Could you manipulate him into your apartment so you could yell at him in person? 

No, that wouldn’t really fix anything. He’d probably just try to fuck you into being docile again, and you didn’t want or need that. 

“You selfish piece of shit.” Is how you start when you answer, standing up from your seat. “I can’t believe that I believed all that shit you said! But classic Sae, right? Tell me what I want to hear and then fucking leave without a word!”

“I’m sorry-”

“You’d fucking want to be! I’m so tired of you jerking me around like this, and then Rin feels obligated to pick up the pieces of the heart you shatter time and time again! He deserves better than to clean up your mess both with me and with your family.”

“I had a flight to catch.”

“Then you say that, dick! Don’t give me some expensive gift, fuck me, then leave!” 

“When was I supposed to tell you?”

“I dunno, maybe when we were staring at each other in those chairs? Or when you were taking off my clothes? Or, and here’s a crazy thought, when we were laying in bed and I told you flat out that if you left like that again you could consider me gone for real!” You don’t know when you’d made it to your bedroom, but you’re sure you owe your neighbors an apology for how loud you were yelling into your phone. “Like always, you know just what to say to get me close to you and then you fuck it up because you’re selfish, arrogant, and think that just because you can kick a ball really well that you can just treat me how you want?”

“It shouldn’t matter.” Is what you’re met with, and you have to stop yourself from screaming into the phone as your response for how upset you were. “You should know, especially after last night, that you do mean something to me.”

“Sure, but I just can’t do this shit with you, Sae. I can’t be with you when you’re here and then not exist when you’re gone!” You yell into the phone, knowing that as soon as he didn’t like where the conversation was headed he’d hang up. You’d at least gotten to say your piece, make sure he knew just how upset you were and how deeply he’d fucked up. Saying that you should know when he never made you feel anything like that until last night? Absurd and you hoped he’d learn after this that you have to communicate. “I told you that if you left the same way again that I wouldn’t be waiting for you when you came back. I’m done waiting for you, Sae. I can’t keep hoping that one day you’ll choose me because you want to instead of it being because I’m convenient for you.” 

“You think it’s out of convenience?”

“When have you ever given me a reason to think otherwise?”

There’s only silence on the other line, so you hang up after a couple moments of giving him an opportunity to respond before flopping back onto your bed and riding the way it bounced until you eventually settled. There wasn’t anything to look forward to, he’d never choose you and you couldn’t put your life on hold in the off chance that hell froze over and he did choose you over soccer. 

But you had a graduation coming up that you needed to prepare for, Sae was not ruining that for you. 

After you graduate, however, things get a bit boring. Work and more work, an endless repetition that exhausts you. If Rin would be a good younger brother and put in a good word for you with one of his teammates, you’d volunteer to be a trophy soccer wife and just travel. Would it be a waste of your degree? Absolutely, but there had to be more to life than whatever this was. Even if you had to act like you at least enjoyed soccer, it has to be more interesting than the life you had currently. People think it’s cool that you’ve got pictures with Itoshi Rin on your desk and are able to get them passes to matches you simply don’t want to be at, it gives them something to talk to you about and see you smile for once instead of having your head down in your work. 

But you know part of the misery is tied into the fact that you can’t stop thinking about Sae. Yes, you’d cut him off after he’d left you, but there was so much history that you were severing that it hurt to do and think about. If Rin asked, you were doing just fine, even if he knew you better than to believe that. 

Your prayers always seem to be answered in the form of Itoshi Rin. You hadn't exactly told him how miserable you were, trying to put on a good show for him whenever you had the chance to talk. You even left to get drinks with coworkers a couple times and let someone take you out on a date. You were trying to be social, because you knew it would help him worry less about you.

But the next time Rin is in the country, he shows up on a Saturday evening and tells you to get dressed as you’re in the middle of preparing vegetables to cook for dinner. He never showed up without calling, so this had to have been an impromptu decision for him to show up in relatively nice clothes instead of his usual gym or travel wear. 

“You could call , asshole. I wouldn’t have started cooking.”

“It’s just vegetables, they’ll keep for another day. Now go get dressed, casual but nice.”

You comply, but not because Rin told you to. The notion of going out with someone you didn’t see every day at work was enough to make you cooperative, is at least what you would try to say if he asked why you tagged along if you managed to get a complaint out. 

“Where are we even going ?”

“Dinner with some of my teammates. Apparently they miss you despite passing my phone around in the locker room to talk to you before every match.”

“Do they know I’m single?”

“I think it’s painfully obvious on your instagram.” That has you poking your head out of the bathroom to look at him as he goes through your closet while you try to make your hair more presentable for dinner with sports celebrities. “I’m surprised I haven’t seen four cats running around here at this point.”

“Go fuck yourself,” you retort, flipping him off before going back to your task that was taming your hair. “Pick out something cute!”

“You’re so annoying,” he calls, earning himself another middle finger extended out of the doorway of your bathroom. “You’d better be dressed in ten minutes.”

You’re finished getting ready in nine, probably a personal best but only made possible because Rin picked clothes out for you - saving you both the agony that came with you rifling through your closet for the right outfit. Choosing and then doubting yourself to choose again only to end up going back to your original selection. He hated that, so it made his life much easier to pick the clothes and get you into the car. 

“Where exactly are we going?” It’s the third time you’ve asked, you see Rin’s eye twitch in annoyance at the question since he’d told you that you were going with him to dinner with some of his teammates. He didn’t tell you where, or who all would be there, but you did enjoy everyone he played with so you couldn’t be fully upset at not having details. “Who all is going to be there?”

“We’re going to that one sushi place we went to on your birthday last year. Not sure exactly who all from the team will be there, but Aiku will definitely be there since he has been asking about you nonstop. Missed seeing you at matches when we’re playing here. Are you satisfied?”

“You should tell him I hate soccer and only went for you in the first place.”

“You don’t hate soccer, you hate what it did to you.”

“Same difference.”

“Behave in there,” Rin warns once the car is parked, and you look over at him with an unimpressed stare as you unbuckle your seatbelt. “I told them ahead of time not to mention Sae.”

“So they know your brother fucked me then left me?”

“No. Just that you two were once close and now the ties are officially severed but you’re still grieving the loss of that friendship.” He was so good at covering for you, but you also know that he was happy that you’d finally chosen yourself over choosing to chase Sae that he’d do anything to make that choice easier for you to heal from. “You’re going to have a good time. If not, I’ll kill them.”

And you did have a good time, sitting between Rin and Oliver proved to be very entertaining while you were paid close attention to by both men. Rin per usual was a bit distant from his teammates, but would lean in to speak to you and make sure you were doing okay. On your left, Oliver was switching between speaking to you and chattering to his teammates. He asked questions about how you’ve been doing, interested in your studies and excited that you’d graduated. He knew how hard you worked from past conversations and hearing Rin try to figure out how to send care packages from different countries to get you through exams, and he told you that he was proud of you for such a big accomplishment. 

“Let me take you out to celebrate. Just the two of us,” Oliver requests, his smile nothing short of charming despite Rin’s scoff behind you. He never let Rin’s attitude deter him from what he wanted, and you did like that about Oliver. The fact that he was handsome just happened to be a plus. 

You want to say no, you really do. The thought of spending time with people outside of your apartment, without Rin to act as a buffer and remove you from the situation when you started to get emotional was terrifying. But the nudge from Rin happens, and you know that it’d be for the best that you develop habits that don’t include crying over Itoshi Sae and and you need to make more friends that weren’t at your job. So you nod, smile on your face as you tell Oliver that you’d really like for him to take you out. 

A couple years pass by, and you end up in a serious relationship with Oliver Aiku. It’s a very public affair, him flying you out for matches and always kissing you very passionately after victories - one time practically jumping into the stands to get to you. He loved you loudly, proudly, and would show you off at every opportunity to the point where you spent more time working remotely from whatever country he wanted you in than being in your office. 

His pride in being with you is what brought you to an annual gala, complete with the nice expensive dress that coordinated beautifully with his suit. The pocket square even sparkled in the light like your dress did, a very important detail to him as he was dress shopping with you. 

And he liked to be by your side, hand held in his or his arm around your waist as you chatted with his teammates or other players that you knew through him and Rin, but he also gave you space. If you excused yourself, he’d check in only briefly to make sure you were okay before letting you know to let him know if you needed him. And when you excused yourself at this gala, telling him you were going to use the restroom before getting more champagne for the both of you, he let you go with a kiss on your cheek and a gentle but discrete pat to your ass with a grin that you couldn’t help but adore. 

You know that you love Oliver; you love the way he treats you and the way that he loves you - with no question or hesitation to tell and show you how much he cared. Rin didn’t hate the relationship, he just wished Oliver was more mindful of the environment before making a scene after matches, but most of all Rin was happy that you were happy. His brother wasn’t a constant source of emotional pain for you anymore, Oliver made sure of that, and that’s all Rin truly wanted for you: happiness and to feel like you were chosen for once. You knew you’d never force the ultimatum that was you or a soccer career, but knowing that Oliver would drop anything except for a match to get to you if you needed him meant so much more than you think he’d understand after your history of dealing with Sae. A history that he has gotten bits and pieces of, but not quite the full story. Rin would never dig up that history without your permission, but you share bits and pieces when he asks well timed questions. 

You love Oliver, but running into Sae as you leave the restroom has you stopped in your tracks and you can tell he’s also put off by the sudden rendezvous. While you were always at these events at Oliver’s side, you’d managed to avoid crossing paths with Sae since he very rarely showed up to them. You hadn’t seen him since that night, and were hoping that you’d never have to see him again after you’d officially severed the ties that bound you to him. But here he was, and you stand in silence for a moment before he realizes that you’re not going to say anything to him. 

“You look well,” is all he says, and you nod with as straight a face as you can muster. You couldn’t make a scene here, fighting Itoshi Sae at a JFU event would get you blacklisted and possibly Oliver too. “Thank you, you also look well.”

“Aiku, huh?”

“He never thought I was holding him back. He’s stayed with no hesitation about his career,” you comment, leaning against the wall of the hallway as Sae nods his understanding. “Why’d you leave that night? Don’t bullshit me, either, we’re too old for that.” 

“Truthfully, I was scared. You deserved better than what I was prepared to provide, so I left for your sake.” You’re not buying it, but you would let him live in the delusion that he was doing what was best for you rather than what was best for him . Whatever he needed to sleep at night. “He makes you happy?”

“Yeah,” you murmur, the thought that he also had made you happy when you were spending time with him dying on your tongue when you swallow. That wouldn’t fix anything for him or for you. “I love him, and he loves me.”

“The way he makes out with you after matches says enough.”

“And you have no place to comment. You had multiple chances, and you chose to push me away every time and go silent so we couldn’t even talk about it. You ran , Itoshi. Oliver doesn’t run.” He sighs, and you roll your eyes at the fact that he wasn’t leaving and was also blocking the hallway so you couldn’t leave easily either. “Would there ever have been a time where you chose me? Or tried to be with me when you weren’t on a break from playing?”

“Why are you so obsessed with causing yourself pain?,” Sae asks, and you shrug while doing your best to keep the emotions at bay. “You still want to cry when you’re angry, but you’re better at stopping yourself now.”

“Maybe I’m just so used to you hurting me, I don’t know what to do when you’re not.” You know that cuts deep, he visibly flinches at that which you wouldn’t expect to see him do in public. “I need to get back before he comes looking and then tries to deck you.” 

That has Sae turning to move past you and into the men’s bathroom, leaving you to take a couple deep breaths before leaving the small hallway and making your way through the various players, executives, and their guests to get back to Oliver. On occasion someone would greet you and you’d stop to chat for a moment to avoid being rude, which results in Oliver making his way to you since you’d been gone for so long. 

You’re conflicted as you dance with Oliver, your head resting on his shoulder as he sways with you in time with the song playing. Sae had been your ultimate wish, and it would’ve been a dream come true to have him choose you at least once. But to know that it wouldn’t have ever happened, not because of Oliver but because of soccer ? A re-entry of the knife that had been thrust into your heart all those years ago. 

“Everything okay?”

“Why do you ask?” You look up from his shoulder, smiling when he leans in to kiss the tip of your nose. 

“You were gone a while, and you didn’t come back with the drinks, and you looked a bit upset which is why I went and scooped you up.” He paid such close attention to you, and he kissed your nose again with a soft smile that made you melt all over again. “I’m assuming you ran into him.”

“Yeah, but it’s fine. He’s stupid, and I have you and you make me the happiest lady in the world.”

“He fumbled the most beautiful girl in the world, like the idiot he is.”

And you hate soccer, you truly do, but you hate more that you had to dig that grave up again every time you saw Sae - even if it was just in passing. Sae’s impact on your feelings is something you’re not sure you’ll ever have control over, and it’s not fair to Oliver that you’re so easily impacted by another. Oliver was warm , with a smile that could melt glaciers and held you like he would be your defender set to protect you from any harm. You deserved to bask in the sun after spending so long chasing after Sae in the cold darkness that came with his uncertainty. 

“Do you wanna go fuck in the bathroom? Might make you feel better.”

“Tempting offer but I kinda enjoy you being a starter on the team and also employed.”

“You just like a man in uniform.”

“Yeah.” Your agreement has him grinning, you weren’t at all shy about liking how he looked in his gear. “But you’re my favorite man in uniform, Captain.”

[blueparadis]

❝ STRAWBERRY SKIES ❞ + RIN ITOSHI !

+. CWs —» sae itoshi x f!reader x rin itoshi, ( domestic ) fluff, angst, hurt & comfort, dating culture, hookups, implicit smut, unrequited feelings,acquaintances to lovers, slowburn; word count — 2.5k

+. PRECIS —» after an accidental encounter rin finds himself drawn to you while all sae wanted was to be apart from you.

+. NOTES —» no clue how i came up with this idea. All i wanted to do was to write on Sae ( lol ) ; hbd to me. i wanted to host an event which I'll but it's on hold for now. I don't want to burden myself and drive out of writing. happy reading fellas ! tap here to read my works.

“First time ?”Rin asked, eyes fixated on yours as his Adam apple bobbed, suggesting that you were not the only one who was barely able to keep your composure.

“Um-hm”, you hummed in response with a little nod breaking the eye contact that seemed to put a curve of delight along his lips.

“Yep. thought so.”, he supplied, “Well, mine too.”, he added, looking hopelessly at the burnt poached egg that refused to leave the frying pan no matter how much you tried. 

The younger Itoshi skillfully placed himself on the kitchen counter pushing aside the tray of such unevenly chopped vegetables near the sink. You kept the frying pan aside and headed towards the fridge to fetch a bottle of juice. “I told you to watch …

“I’ll watch the poach when you’re next to me?”, Rin blurted out, quite defensively as if he was not at any fault; part of him was astonished at how you expected him to do such a thing when you were roaming in the kitchen wearing shorts and his shirt.

Your lacy lavender bra was a great bother. God! How direly he craved to see you without his shirt!  Would you wear a matching pair? Actually, given your status and background, you seemed like you would do that.

“Yes. so that I learn how to cook and your brother stops yelling at me.”, you bluntly responded. “Ni-chan yells at her? How come? She seems so nice. Why though?”

It is true that Rin has been totally at fault for the burnt poached egg and those half-hearted chopped vegetables since he was never on board with this idea in the first place. He would rather order food and spend the time cuddling with you till the doorbell rings or touching you in ways that you mourn for him when he is not around. But his hands are tied.

After being in several relationships that ended in agony, most of them, you knew that Rin was not just trying to flirt. He wanted to impress you which is why you are here in his home after being followed by him like a lost puppy for half a month.

Not at some fancy restaurant and being the headline of the newspaper the very next day. It has been just two months since this thing between the two of you started; it is hard to describe. It is neither a relationship nor . . . ‘What do people call it again?’, a situationship. Yep, that was not the case either. 

It was a lavish party after a victory match when Rin walked up to you as you stood in the lonely balcony under the moon lit night. The breeze was cool , letting you reel in the feeling of being a little tipsy. 

“Mind a company?”,a bold familiar voice turned up and to that you turned on your heel finding a man in a finely tailored peak lapel suit holding two glasses in one hand and the other shoved inside the pockets. He was neatly dressed for a party like this, even for a man. 

With eyes like that, like emerald stones embedded as the stars across the sky to foretell your future, if you looked a little too long than usual, anyone would be smitten with him. Perhaps, this is what they call love at first sight. 

How could you deny him? Besides, he was one of the guests so you had to accept the drink even if you did not want to. 

“Okay.”, you took one of the glasses from him with a swing yet careful enough not to graze your fingers against his palm and immediately turned around resting your elbows on the railing. You had no intention of being another one in his list; of course, boys like that always had one, always. 

“You should not have drank that much…”, Rin stood beside you, swirling the wine in his glass. “... You could have avoided the party, you know…”, he took a sip, “... is it so hard for you to say no to people?” You rolled your tongue through the insides of your mouth before shifting your gaze on him. 

‘Stop it, you’re not my dad.’ With a chaste smile you muttered, “Thank you for the drink . . .”, tilting your head a little you amended, “. . . and the company.” 

Of course, Rin hated that you worked for his brother. You were not entirely sure if it was actually because of Sae or the fact that Sae took more interest in you than him. He reeked of envy but which one was it? If it were the first you could not help much and if it were the second, you were utterly screwed. Rin would find every opportunity to torment you and Sae would not pay any heed to his childish tantrums pushing his brother being more stubborn than he already is, determined to be a perpetual nuisance to you.

Rin did not know. He was not aware that Sae and you were just casual friends, more like acquaintances. Sure, Sae tried his luck with you many times but it was too friendly to bother about what ifs and buts. 

Besides, Sae knew you could be more useful as a friend than his girlfriend. You have made abundantly clear that you are not some trophy girlfriend that he can show off to people. He had tried all the tricks of old books to rile you up, to make you jealous, to get under your skin but eventually it came down to sharing secrets and beers, truth or dare.

“Can I walk you home?”

You halted on your tipsy steps and let out a sigh of disappointment. You just did not want to talk to him, like not at all, not in this mood. You turned your head and nodded in his direction. Rin swallowed, not sure what he would do next since he thought you would flatly decline. You could say NO but somewhere at the bottom of your heart you just wanted to know, ‘does Rin care like his brother? Would he give a fuck if it was the other way around?’ 

Rin was surprised that your home was not even in a proper walking distance. He thought he had to bear this awful silence while driving you home. The walk was just a floor away. “You didn’t know that you were partying under my roof, offering me a drink that’s quite a staple to me?”, you said followed by a little cackle to ease him. He was way too stiff for a man who has a list of girls in speed dial.

You walked out of the elevator and so did he. “Most of the buildings are owned by my father. I’m sure you’ve heard of him. Mikage corporations? Does that ring a bell?” A raised eyebrow that was all you received from him.A raised eyebrow that did not tell you whether it rang a bell or bounced off. You unbuckled the watch from your left wrist before uttering, “Are you staying for the show or. . . ?”

With that line, Rin could tell how much of a tease you are. Maybe that is why Sae liked having you around. Maybe that is why people feel comfortable around you. He has watched you along with brother plenty of times, sometimes in his apartment, at the airport, at markets but Rin never gave a damn about it until he watched his brother with another girl dancing merrily as you cheered them on, just a few days ago. It was a friendly gathering. He was intrigued; no not about you but what exactly was your relationship with him? 

“Maybe some other day.”Rin closed the gap between the two of you with a single step, his hand around your waist making you gasp a little at his sudden closeness. A blink and then you looked at him with surprise in your eyes before he swayed off his hand and stood as if he was at gunpoint saying, “I thought you were genuinely offering…” 

He backed away, relishing the surprised look on your face. Part of him wanted to take you then and there but another part of him was gentleman enough not to have you under the influence of alcohol. “See you at the next party.” Rin walked towards the elevator hoping for something, anything as a comeback. He was even willing to take one of those feeble low growls of protest but when he turned around you were not there anymore. 

Surprisingly, you did not have to wait till the next party. He was standing outside your office the very next day. With his hands inside his slacks and an umbrella at another hand. He was surfing through his phone as you watched him in awe. You waved at him as he looked at you. Even though the splattering raindrops were hitting the window you could hear him smirk as a curve of delight spread across his cheeks.

[ a message from angry bird itoshi

“Hi. Rin here ”

“I’m waiting till you’re done.” ]

You let out a laugh keeping your phone aside. Of course, he took his brother’s phone, went through his contacts and made sure to message you from his phone. No wonder Sae likes to avoid him.

[ “pick one: hot chocolate or ice-creams” ]

You did not reply for two reasons; one: Sae would not be very happy about this and two: Rin was just the type of guy who gets under the skin very easily, the type you would like to avoid the most.

Eyes as dark as a starless sky that spoke volumes if one were to stare too much yet so agonizingly silent. The kind of face that it hurts to look at yet so pretty, so full of hopes. Rin Itoshi was the kind they would write in poetries, and hide behind the canvas of an abstract painting. Dark-haired, pretty face, luscious lips, morbid eyes. Underneath this boyish façade was something some would not want to see.

Most people call it envy, but you would rather call it an outgrowth of wrath, a mere tantrum. He was just envious of his brother in every way he admired him, so much so that he chased everything that his brother did. 

He waited. He waited for two hours and when you were walking out of the office. It had already started raining.  The umbrella was too short for two people but both of you managed to reach the nearby cafeteria, half-drenched in rain and half -drenched in love.

Rin was patient with you even if you threw lots of tantrums to test him,to get rid of him but he stayed. Within a span of another two months, things became a little intimate, a bit physical and your first time was nothing like you imagined it would be.

Not because of the person, but because of the place. Rin had come to visit you in your office and he was told to wait. He did. He is used to it by now. Every time he waited for you, he felt like he was trying to hold sand in his hands. When he saw you walking towards the exit with bodyguards around, your mind to busy to acknowledge his presence, he didn't feel annoyed. 

But you shouldn't have made him wait so long, not back then and not even now. When you were done with your meeting, when he was finally able to talk to you after days, after a month of being away from you he didn't waste any time. He mourned you too much to be in his control.

And now he has you laying on the work surface, with one of your legs over his shoulder as he slowly thrusts in you. The curtains are not drawn, air conditioner is off and its afternoon, lunch break while Rin is balls deep inside you making you gasp with each of his strong calculative slow thrusts.

It's not okay. You and Rin did everything backward. Casually flirted, went on random dates, and fucked each other senselessly as if you two would not see each other for eons or have been reunited with your love in this life.

And he did all of these just to get to know you and you let him. You let him because you didn't want to be the woman to teach him about broken love. You did it because you couldn't hurt him. You did it because he didn't seem to be what they said about him, not a bit, or was it because he actually likes you.

Unlike him, you didn't have to wait long to have your answer, didn't have to spend sleepless nights thinking, is it really love or just a phase?

Now you are in his apartment wearing one of his shirts since your dress was ruined. Sae would be here in any minute. He gets so cranky if he doesn't get home-cooked meals.

“I’m back.” Sae tosses his bags onto the sofa and rushes towards the bathroom. This wasn't always the case; generally, he'd rest a bit, make sure to avoid his brother at all costs, and then go for a shower. Now that you are here, all he did was behave like a child.

“Ni-san, don't throw your bags like that…”, Rin exclaimed with congested eyebrows. “Ah geez! Stop it.”, he yelled when Sae was about to disorient the whole wardrobe for his favorite towel.

“Check the black bag while I'm in shower”, Sae said before vanishing into the bathroom. Rin knew he brought gifts. It's not like they aren't available here but it's the thought that matters, he remembered. You told him that once.

It's okay. Sae thinks as the hot shower warms his skin. Sae and you never belonged together. You and he always belonged to ‘almost and maybe’; maybe we could be something; she looked almost in love with me; maybe we were almost lovers.

It's okay. Sae has done a lot of things for you not to draw in your attention. He has dated girls, flaunted about it to you and mourned alone. He did it because he could never make you smile like his brother. He did it because you were not made for him; he knew it from the very beginning. He knew it all along that you were made for his brother.

It's okay, Sae thinks as he drags the chair and sits beside his brother shooting a smile at you with a sunburn in his heart, ready to enjoy the meal you have made. You have improved a lot since the last time. That is why he likes you; you heal whatever is broken. That is why he let you go.

Does he regret it? Nope. Since you are loved like you deserved and he got back what he sacrificed you for, his brother, Rin Itoshi.

@tokyometronetwork

tagging y'all cuz i think you might like this one @itoshi-s @orchid3a @swanphantasm @nyaaaaanma @saetoshis @shoyoist @anantaru @lalunanymph @chronic-claire-universe @garoujo @katasstrophy

[hanyjar]

do stars return?

itoshi sae x reader

summary: your childhood friend leaves, and you question if he’ll ever come back.

notes: [1.2k words.] i like to think this man has super angst potential but that won’t be unearthed today LOL no beta we die like men <3

disclaimers: childhood friends trope, angst (if u squint) to fluff, making out for a lil bit, poetic dialogue, forgiveness theme.

masterlist.

Itoshi Sae shines.

It's a truth you've come to realise at the budding age of seven. He, with his tepid stature and equally cold attitude, is destined for greatness.

A star, you whisper, once upon a time. A time where he lived without a million eyes watching his every move. You will become a star, I just know it. 

And back in the day, it wasn't just you who believed it. Everyone did. From his teachers to his classmates, to his parents and his brother. It was an indisputable fact that the boy who dedicated himself wholly to soccer, a prodigy who made the sport look like an art form, had his future set out for stardom.

So it is no surprise to anyone when your naive declaration comes into fruition.

His face is plastered on every billboard - as far as the eye can see. Japan's pride, he is known as. The Ice Prince; he who dominates the field; a force to be reckoned with.

Itoshi Sae: the star.

You are proud. No doubt. Though, it’s false to say that you aren’t envious. Sae is a trailblazer: one that surpasses all of his enemies with a nonchalant stare, and transcends into the sky with the other geniuses. He is a part of the lucky few who are destined to be gazed upon with awe. Everything and anything you have achieved pales in comparison.

(You’d surely hear reprimands if you voice those thoughts out loud, though. In your time, you have made a name for yourself. An expert in your passion at the mere age of seventeen; a trailblazer in your own right.

…It’ll just never compare to the name Sae built for himself, you think with finality.)

But above the awe and envy you feel whenever Sae’s name comes up, is love.

Love: a trap that is inevitable for a childhood friend of his. A pitfall that you have fell into. Your love for him is a bittersweet fact, one which tugs at your heartstrings whenever his face shows up on your phone. Sweet, because childhood love is a beautiful, rare thing - you’re glad that it has happened, in all honesty - though bitter all the same, because he is a star.

And stars shoot past. They never go back.

(He, will never go back.)

So for the years that Sae is gone, you float by on that knowledge. Merely acknowledging him as the one who crashed into your life, and left as turbulently as he came. You work diligently to mute the love that festered in your heart, knowing it will never be. 

You wholeheartedly believe that your life will continue in this fashion.

Then, the impossible happens.

The star returns, seven years later. On your doorstep, nonetheless.

"Itoshi?" 

Somehow, even in the ungodly hour of 12:56AM, Sae manages to look as beautiful as the day he left. It's unfair. Unfair for him to show up at your doorstep unannounced; unfair for him to have grown into his boyish looks as gracefully as he did.

It’s unfair for him to still make your heart race, even after all this time.

"Who else would it be?" He scoffs, the bite of his words not quite reaching his eyes. "And, Itoshi, seriously?"

His voice makes your heart leap. It's like you are ten again. "Well… You haven't been Sae for a while now," you say. "Not since you ghosted me, anyways."

Sae's eyes flicker with an emotion you thought he is incapable of feeling. "I didn't mean to." Regret. The Ice Prince is feeling regret, all for you. And if you were ten again, maybe that alone would shake you. But you aren't. You are several years wiser. You know better.

"It's fine if you want to be the best in the world. I don't blame you for that - not at all. But you can be number one and not neglect the ones that love you, y'know?" You slowly retreat back into the comfort of your apartment, hand creeping onto the back of the door. "Goodnight, Itoshi. You should go home; it's late."

You push the door, preparing to end the conversation then and there.

It’s not supposed to be like this, you realise. He, your first love, is supposed to stay in the past. Itoshi Sae should not be at your doorstep past midnight, suitcase in tow, as if he came straight from the airport to your house. The feelings you hold for him should be locked up within the depths of your heart - not surging in full force from just the sight of him.

But alas, fate plays its mischievous tricks once again. And Sae is not the type of person who lets blunders get away scot-free.

"…You love me?” He says, barely above a whisper, foot wedged between the door and the entrance. An impenetrable silence follows from your end. 

Seven years older, but still a fool in the face of love, it seems.

“I did,” I still do, your mind yells. “But you’re a star now, Sae. Just like I said you would be.” Your breath hitches, nails forming crescent-shaped indents within your palm. “…And stars don’t fall in love with the big, black sea of nothingness, do they?”

A beat of silence ensues from his end. You cringe at your own word choice. Maybe he left, you think. Great. Itoshi Sae was at your door, and you scared him away with your stupid love and even stupider confession. How stupid can you even get—

The door hinge creaks as you topple over, shattering your inner turmoil. Sae announces his intrusion with a loud sigh.

“Hey! What are you?— This is considered trespassing—“ You begin. Sae shuts you up with a forceful kiss, pinning you against the door that you were hiding behind minutes before. It’s messy, tantalising, addicting. The smell of his aquatic cologne fills your senses, and he cups your face in between his hands. He feels so warm. He feels like home.

Sae’s whole body screams of need. The need for you; the need to make up for the lost time. 

You hate how you are so weak for him. 

“Idiot.” He deadpans as the two of you part. “If you’re going to get all poetic on me, fine. Stars don’t fall in love with the galaxy.” 

You remove yourself from his arms, eyes scrunching in offence. Bold thing for him to say, especially after he just kissed your lips raw. “So… You’re not in love with me?”

“Let me finish.” Sae is quick to pull you back into his embrace, voice impossibly soft for the otherwise stone-faced boy. “Stars don’t fall in love with the sky. They live in it; I live with you.”

Sae hopes that the implication is clear.

You, alone, are his hope; you are the reason he sparkles as much as he does. Even while you were miles apart, his childhood friend was the sole thing on his mind. A star cannot shine without its galaxy, after all.

“You’re not off the hook, by the way.” You breathe lightly, laying your head against his chest. “Seven years is still a long time. I don’t think you can cuddle your way out of this one, Itoshi.”

A small smile elicits from his face, “I can try, can’t I?”

…And this star is willing to wait for his galaxy to forgive him, no matter how long it takes.

[your-local-baguette]

Giving the blue lock boys a massage...♡

Part 2

Warnings: not proofread, contain spoilers for those who haven't read the neo egoist league, a little suggestive proceed at your own risk

Itoshi rin

Rin alway ended up with back and neck pain after training or a match. It drove him crazy, never going away, it was a pain in the ass. Had he known having a massage from you was alway an open solution he would ask for one each day.

You sat at his side, leaning over him, your thumbs pressing gently in his lower back. A low hum escaped his lips, his greenish hair feel on his eyes, giving his tired expression an attractive vibe. He looked at you from the corner of his eye, admiring your focused features. But his eyes slowly rolled up for a second as he felt your thumb press in just the right spot. "Right there..." He said with a low voice, pressing his cheek against the mattress. You didn't say anything pressing your knuckles in that exact spot again. Another low hum escaped his lips "hey dumbass..." You looked at him fron the corner of your eye, signaling you were listening. "You've got a knack for this, it's free service ?" He asked eith a hint of exhaustion in his voice " yea, you're the only one with that privilege" you said still focused on reducing in back pain. "Good...thank..you" he said with a slight blush on his cheeks. "You can massage me more often...." You hummed at his statement "please...?" He asked with a hint of embarrassment in his voice. "Sure thing" but when you looked over to him, his eyes were closed and he seemed fast asleep. You ran two fingers along his spine and pulled down his shirt, leaning to kiss his cheek "i love you...rin" you whispered in his ear before getting up to head to your dorms. He opened one eye, looking at the door, "i love you too..."

Itoshi sae

He was looking down at your much smaller frame, one of his hand pressing in his back. He looked to the side for a second before looking back at you. "Okay..." He said, a smile spread on your face, "great" you said with a calm voice, leading him to your shared bedroom. "Lay down on your stomach, i'll be right back" he did as said over the silk sheets of the king sized bed. He looked at the time

11:03pm

He smiled, laying his cheek against the pillow, he heard your slow footsteps enter the room, you dimmed the lights slowly. You put a candle on the bedside table, he admired your attire, a cream beige tank top with long sleeves, baby blue loose jeans and some mix matched socks. It was a soft comfortable outfit, just how he liked seeing you. He kept on admiring you while you changed the water for the flowers. The vanilla and soft lemon smell of the candle gave an intimate vibe to the room. When you came back, he felt the mattress dip a little before he felt you sit on the back on his thighs, trapping him there, not like he would want to move anyway. He let himself relax completely, helping you remove his shirt, tossing it to the side, not caring even just a bit. His body shuddered when he felt your warm hands slowly caress his back. "Where does it hurt ?" You said running your fingers along his back "lower back.." he said, closing his eyes, waiting for you to start massaging his sore muscles. It's crazy how he was completely at your mercy, you could anything to him and he wouldn't complain. A sigh escaped him when your knuckles rolled into his lower back, pressing hard, otherwise he wouldn't feel anything. "Mhmm" you could see he was enjoying it, you started pressing your thumbs instead, making a circle pattern. You kept one hand to massage his lower back and the other to twist some of his brownish red hair locks around your fingers. Scratching his scalp lightly, another low hum escaped his lips while he leaned back a little. A slight giggle escaped your lips "enjoying yourself, aren't you?" He nodded in response" don't stop..." This went on for a while and you actually both ended falling asleep at like one am, he had you trapped underneath him. Because you actually fell asleep well before him....

Chigiri hyoma

Chigiri was laying in your lap after practice with Manshine city. He was really exhausted, you ran your fingers through his hair, it really relaxed him, feeling your fingers scratch his scalp. But he kept letting out small grunt whenever he moved his legs just the slightest. "You okay ?" You asked, your voice filled with concern. "I got really bad leg cramps" you sighted a bit "want me to massage your leg ?" He looked up at you eith pleading like eyes "i take that as a yes" you moved his head to rest on a pillow, you yook an extra to support his legs and you sat to his side. "Where is your leg cramp ?" He looked st you with half closed eyes" back of my thigh" you moved slightly and slid your hands below his thigh" tell me if hurt you" you said as your hand started to rub his skin gently and pressing lightly in it. It didn't take long before a sight of relief escaped Chigiri's lips. His eyes were fully closed, focusing on the feeling of your warm hands massaging his cramps away. You hummed a song, lifting his leg a bit to place it on your lap, tracing two lines along his thigh to distract him from the pain. "This feels..good" you smiled stopping your humming "i'm glad" you said, gently pushing in his muscles "do you still have cramps ?" He hald opened his eyes" no but keep going, your hand feels nice" you chuckled, tracing along the side of his muscles, there were pretty well built. "Trying to fluster me, huh?" You chuckled again "i don't know what your talking about" you both started laughing, the others around the room started to laugh along with you two.

Micheal kaiser

You were in ness and micheal's room, it was pure silent because well, micheal wasn't there. But as he walked in he already started complaining "my neck hurt from looking down on these idiots all day" you sighted "i thought you'd be looking up at them instead" he looked at you "oh? My darling is here ? What a way to greet her husband" you looked up at him, tapping the floor with your foot. "Thank you very much" he said with one his smirks latched onto his face. He sat down on the ground leaning his back against your legs. You tossed your phone on the couch, cracking your fingers before, resting your hands on his shoulders. "Hold on Liebling" he said before taking off his shirt, allowing more access to his shoulder and neck, you smirked, leaning next to his ear "what a view.." he smirked "you feed my ego darling, i'm pleased that you think so highly of me, Liebling" you hummed, your hands resting on his shoulders again, pressing into them. Even the huge egoist that was your husband deserved a little reward. "Ahh~, missed my Liebling's touch" you kissed the top of his head, raiding your hands to his neck, pressing into it from the back. You could feel micheal relax under your touch "you've got something to make me weak in the knees dear" said micheal, with another confident smirk latched on his lips. You kissed the top of his head l, pressing your thumbs into his neck a little more. A low hum escaped him, "i'd stay here forever if i could" he said, feeling very pleased with the massage you were giving him. Another satisfied sigh escaped him, as he leaned a little more into you "enjoying yourself ?" You said calmly "very much" he answered, loving the feeling of your touch against his bare skin.

I'm still not taking request for blue lock but here a little vote since it's been a while, be quick though~

Love you guys!

[khuzena]

✎Regret, love and death

Itoshi Rin, Itoshi Sae, Michael Kaiser x g/n!reader

Summary: The bllk boys break up with you not knowing you're terminally ill and they meet you again but this time you're dying right in front of them.

Warning: Angst, no fluff, breakup and breakdown, death, grief

A/n: this is super cliche ik but this has been on my mind for months now, it's time i actually write about it. Listening to ditto while making this. I tried to make it g/n so bear with me

Itoshi Rin

"Stay in the middle, like you a little"

Itoshi Rin who left you months ago after a stupid argument he wishes he could've prevented. He tells himself that he doesn't need you anymore and that he'll never open up his heart again.

Itoshi Rin who gets mad when he sees happy couples, he swears it's anger and jealousy but it's mostly confusion and betrayal. He believed that it was your fault that he became this vulnerable but he willingly gave his heart to you.

Being a professional athlete like Itoshi Rin it's common to regularly get some injuries here and there so he visits the hospital.

He waited patiently right outside his clinic, an earbud in one ear and he listened to the environment around him. Squeaky wheelchairs, cries from a hospital room nearby and patients conversing in daily chit-chat. The line at the clinic was taking too long so he decided he'll go next time; but something caught his eye. The soles of his shoes clack on the marble floor at the empty hallway and the music he's listening to but he hears the faint beating of a heart monitor. Then, he sees your name in one hospital room.

He couldn't believe his eyes. There was a folder attached loosely on the door, your name written in lazy cursive and numerous descriptions he couldn't understand. Rereading and rereading the name on the folder over and over again, his eyes narrowed as he decided to look over to the glass window at the door; he saw you. Rin doesn't understand why you were here and why the folder was marked "terminal— confined" . The writings are too messy for him to understand but his heart beats loudly through his body like a gong.

He tries to convince himself it's probably someone else but he knew you too much to know that the one stuck in that wrinkly hospital bed was you.

He has to go, he has to but he doesn't. He takes a deep breath and opens the door. You open your eyes as you realize your peace was disturbed from the loud creaking of the door. You scrunch your nose and blink your eyes as you take a look at the figure standing at the side of your bed, it was Rin.

"You… why are you here?" He whispered, you could barely hear him but he stared down at you with pity, anger, grief— you don't know.

"I should be the one asking you that." Your voice was muffled by the oxygen mask strapped to your head as you sat yourself up and looked up to him, he tried to avoid your gaze as he looked over to the IVs inserted into your wrists, wires everywhere he was sure he almost stepped on one.

Rin furrowed his brows in irritation, all this pent up anger from the break up bursting all at once, "What the fuck happened to you?"

You gave him a weak smile, "A week before we broke up… I was diagnosed with a heart disease. I couldn't tell you what happened to me, then we fought but I was too scared and stressed I broke things off."

Rin breathes raggedly, fear and guilt flooding his senses; wondering why he was such an idiot to leave you.

"Will you get better?"

You smile again at his stupidity, you know he's seen the document attached at the door saying 'patient in hospice' but Rin wants to hear it from you, he wants you to confirm his thoughts. Maybe even deny it so he'll feel better. You feel tears drip down your arm as you watch him shaken like he's seen a ghost.

"I won't, so go now."

Rin wants to pour out all his emotions, everything welling up inside his heart— the thoughts brewing in the depths of his heart that ate him alive from the time you were seperated but he holds himself back.

His knees buckled and his strength prior to this incident dissipated into nothing as he held onto his remaining resolve. Like the coward he always was, he leaves and never comes back… but he will come back to you eventually; with a chrysanthemum in hand this time and a fresh black suit he picked out.

Itoshi Sae

"Don't want no riddle, Say it, Say it back"

Itoshi Sae who visits Japan for the first time in months, only going back to renew his passport.

It wasn't his intention to pass by your old friend group in public, he eavesdropped on their mindless conversation then they started talking about you.

Itoshi Sae listens to their conversation, getting some details about you. Hearing that you got confined somewhere and that there was no one to take care of you other than the nurses and hospice workers stationed at your room.

Itoshi Sae who tries to keep that newfound information out of his mind but the thought of you being confined in a hospital is making his heart race. Not in love nor from the butterflies he used to get when talking to you— no. He couldn't stop thinking of you. He promised to himself to never interact with you, avoid every single thing that reminded him of you but he couldn't. He just couldn't.

Itoshi Sae who visits the hospital and asks where you are, pretending that he was a visitor to the nurses was easier than he thought.

"Are you asking about that patient?"

He nodded, the nurse was stupid enough to fall for his charms as she sent him the directions to your room. Sae knows what dangerous game he's playing, if he comes back to you again then it defeats the purpose of avoiding you forever like he promised himself but he still goes.

It was a nice afternoon, birds chirping and he saw little children from the nursery running around in the hallways with toys in their hands. He mentally prepared himself for what he was about to see, turning away from your hospital room for a moment before entering.

His eyes softened for a moment when he laid his eyes on you, you were reading a book— an eerie one at that. Sae raised an eyebrow when he noticed that you didn't hear him enter, what if you were deliberately ignoring him? He was sure you were but he didn't catch your attention until he stepped closer to your bed, a shadow looming over you as you slowly looked up to him.

The two of you stare at each other for what it felt like forever, he's still looking at you like that. Love in his irises but there's a tint of melancholy.

You could see Sae saying something to you, you tried to read his lips but his words fell on deaf ears.

Sae was getting irritated on why you didn't respond but you took the white board that was resting on your bedside table. He patiently watched you write something on the board, clack, clack, clack.

'Im deaf. I can't hear you.'

Just months ago you were fine but he gets more ill with worry when his mind starts to drift and wonder what could've happened to you when he left you here all alone.

You erased the writing on the board, giddily like a child as you handed him the board next, signaling him to also write you something.

The athlete hesitated for a moment before grabbing the board off your hands, writing something hastily. He feels like if he wasted any more time he'll lose everything— but he knew that he already did the moment when he called it quits months ago.

'What happened', he wrote on the board, streaks of ink staining his palm but that's the least of his worries.

You sat up in a more comfortable position before opening the drawer, taking a clipboard, medical documents clipped to the board. Sae reads the papers, his throat starts burning and he feels tears building up in his eyes. He flips through the papers, information about your condition printed on the tiny pieces of paper as he reads through everything.

You couldn't understand what he was muttering under his breath but you were sure it was something… the way he bit his lip to hold back the tears and the way his hands got sweaty as he scanned the board.

Sae loved many things, you, soccer, coffee and the beach. There was something about hospitals that made him uneasy. Hospitals correlated to injury and death— a big no no for him. But as an athlete, a pro one at that it's not surprising that he regularly visits the hospital for nutrition advice or medicine. Though… this one was his worst visit yet. He told himself that he won't ever cry or love you again, that's why it's 'Sae loved' but he realizes he still loves you. Even though you're stuck on the hospital bed, sickly and dying, your arms littered with scars from the tubes that go in and out your skin and maybe the way you look so frail and skinny now compared to what you looked like months ago; he still loves you. He realized that in this moment he's always going to be looking for you the way you pathetically looked for him in the hospital, wishing he was there after you two broke up.

At least now the gods were merciful enough to grace you with his presence for the last time, even in this situation you still smiled at him like he deserved to see that again.

Itoshi Sae who visits you again tomorrow before you pull off the plug, Pain plastered on his face as he holds you tightly. He broke his promise.

To you, to never hurt you.

To himself, to never love you again.

Michael Kaiser

"Oh say it ditto, Can't wait till the morning, So say it ditto"

Michael Kaiser pretends he's fine after the break up and to distract himself from the pain, he dates other people— looking for someone who can fill the void you carved in his heart, looking for you.

Michael Kaiser who still wears the cardigan you bought him, giving him solace and comfort when he curls up in his bed alone, wishing you were there with him.

You and Kaiser didn't break up on bad terms, more like a confusing and neutral breakup. He told you he was done and you didn't beg him to stay, after all he neglected you for his selfish desires. He's like an icarus who has flown too close to the sun, his ego representing the melting wax wings of icarus— it burned your skin and melted your patience.

Michael Kaiser still stalks you in his other account you forgot that existed. He wouldn't admit it but he patiently waited for an update on your account.

Michael Kaiser who stalks your account and finally sees something. Your parents' post talking about you being stuck in the hospital.

Michael Kaiser doesn't cry, he can't. Images on the posts ingraining— burning itself in the deepest parts of his brain then it triggers something in him. Confusion.

He doesn't know the exact details of your situation but he's too curious to scroll past the post.

Michael Kaiser who gets a cab and arrives at your hospital, like a man with no shame he looks for your room.

It was nighttime and the hospital was uncannily quiet, he wasn't sure why but the guard was doing a terrible job at guarding the entrance of the hospital. Kaiser walks past the sleepy guard, ignoring the thumping sound of the guard falling on the floor as he makes his way to the lady on the desk.

"What brings you in here, sir?"

He pushes up his glasses, "I'm looking for my lover, [patient name]", he says boldly, lying through his teeth but he knows it's the only way they'll let him in.

"Give me a minute," the nurse starts flipping through the hospital log book, "They're at room 405, third floor."

Kaiser nods, thanking the nurse as he takes the elevator.

'ding' Kaiser enters the elevator, checking his watch while waiting for it to arrive at the third floor. The elevator was dimmed and it looked like a scene straight from horror movies, another old lady in a wheelchair strolls to the elevator.

"What's a handsome young man like you doing in the dead of the night here?" The grandma says in a hoarse voice, grey hairs covering her face as she holds onto both her wheelchair and fruits.

Though Kaiser is an asshole, a liar, he naturally had a soft spot for children and the elderly. "I'm here for my… lover" he doesn't know what gave it away but the older woman noticed the hesitance in his voice.

The grandma nodded at his reply, 'ding!'

"I guess this is my stop." Kaiser stepped out of the elevator, waving goodbye to the elderly woman and ambled in the hallway.

The scent of disinfectant invaded his nostrils, though the smell gets more diverse as he passes by different hospital rooms. He hears people screaming and crying at the room to his left and the other room dead silent, as if a corpse inhabited the room to his right.

Sweat starts trickling down his forehead when he counts the hospital room's numbers and realizes he's getting closer to yours. 'shit, shit, shit' his mind spiralling into madness, anxiety as he braces himself for what he's about to see.

His legs started to feel like jelly as his feet dragged him in front of your hospital room. A feeling of uncertainty, something he never felt again after breaking up with you.

Months ago when you two broke up he wondered if maybe you'd crawl back to him, like a child who ran away but comes home again the day after, but you didn't.

The door pulled open as he made his way inside, the lights were turned off but the sound of humming took him by surprise.

"I can hear you, you know."

Oh, that voice. That voice that could soothe him on days like these, your voice so gentle he thinks it's a sweet melody, a lullaby so sweet it would bring the devil down on his knees begging and repenting for forgiveness if he ever heard your voice.

The German boy doesn't come forward, only staring at your disheveled figure on the bed, waiting for death themselves to take you away from your misery.

"Have you eaten yet?"

Your fingers traced the lamp before finding the switch, making a flick sound as the soft illuminating glow lights up the room. You nod as you sit up, hugging yourself as you find comfort in the bandages that wrapped around your body.

"I'm sorry." It was the first time he's ever said this to you in ages, he wished he said this to you back then, he wishes that he was there for you.

Maybe he was the devil, cruel and mean, strong yet so weak. His knees buckled as he let out a choked sob, his fears that builded up couldn't hold in much longer as tears streamed down his face.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kaiser says in between his sobs, the prideful man being broken down into a pathetic, crying mess.

Your fingers fiddled together in anxiety, you always had that stupid habit of yours when in distress. As much as you couldn't forgive Kaiser— he's too weak, too vulnerable for you to ignore.

Still Kaiser was shameless but not too shameless to go even a few inches closer to your bed, his mind racing— thinking that everything is all his fault as his heart rate goes up.

"Why should I? We're not even together." His chest tightens, if anyone could see him right now they'd think he's a fucking idiot— crying over the dying lover he left to rot in the hospital? Piece of shit.

"Yeah I know." He tries to calm himself down but he knows it's useless when you pick up on his uneasy behavior.

Kaiser wanted to ask you, 'let's get back together?' or maybe 'please forgive me' because he's a shameless prick but it's the first time he doesn't let his pride take over his senses.

He grieves right in front of you, your eyes never leaving his as his body language is signaling you, begging you to say something but it's better that you didn't.

He has all the time in the world to grieve for you after all, he's a shameless, selfish man… isn't he?

Notes: hell nah i'm sorry if there was so many grammar mistakes and stuff this isn't really proofread and i'm thinking of opening requests so like uh what do you guys think should i open requests

Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡