#its all i want to write im mentally ill

[headphonegrl]

“Someone in there said something really weird.” You nod your head towards the door of the restaurant, your arms tucked around your sides in an attempt to keep all the warmth from escaping your coat. Ten minutes ago, you were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with the people you had grown up with and a part of you deep down suddenly felt fifteen again.

Kylian furrows his eyebrows together, unknowingly tilting his head slightly to one side. There’s a neon sign outside the bar next door and the red light is reflecting onto his face, tinging him scarlet. “What?”

“Just something about us.” Both of you have always come as a pair, one never without the other for as long as your memory stretches back. There was a running joke between your mothers about how you and Kylian were attached at the hip and would have to be removed by doctors. “How everyone thought we were going to get married.”  

“It’s funny.” He kicks at a block of ice that’s stuck to the pavement, his shoelaces undone on one foot. If you were both nine again, you’d lean down to tie them so they wouldn’t get tangled around the peddles of his bike. Though you’re both in your twenties now with your childhood possessions stored away collecting dust, so you just leave it. “I’ve been told that a few times.”

You raise your eyebrows. Stupidly, you’ve always believed that love wasn’t that easy to spot. That other people would never notice the glances across rooms and knees bumping together under the table. That they were sacred; like your own little secret language. “You have?” 

Kylian doesn’t reply, there’s a space of silence that’s filled by the wail of some police sirens. You’re sure if it was quiet enough he’d be able to hear your heart thumping in your chest like one of those big drums.

“How are you guys still alive?” Kylian’s girlfriend shuts the door behind her with a loud slam that makes your body jerk upwards. “It’s freezing out here.”

“My hands have gone numb.” You rub your palms together as if to exaggerate your point further, then you smile at her and she returns the gesture sweetly. Under the light of the buildings her necklace twinkles against her collarbones, a little ‘k’ covered in tiny diamonds sitting proudly in the middle of her chest. All you can do is look down at your feet. 

“This has been fun.” She loops her arm through his and presses her temple against his shoulder, closing her eyes like she could drift peacefully off to sleep. For a second, it looks so intimate that you feel like you’re watching something you shouldn’t be. “It’s been nice to meet the rest of your old friends.”

“Yeah.” Kylian is staring at you and you’re wondering if he can feel it all too: that horrible sensation that can only be compared to running parallel to a train that you’ll never be able to catch. “Old friends.”

Regret burns in your chest and it won’t leave no matter how many times you try to swallow it down. For your own comfort, you’re going to imagine that in a parallel universe somewhere you told him you loved him when you were seven and making daisy chains as he played football. That you had kissed him at that house party when you were both seventeen and dizzy from too many cheap vodka shots. Pretending is going to make this a lot less painful. Pretending is easy. “Old friends.” 

[witchspeka]

It's always "Shou and Ritsu need to blow stuff up with their minds for mental health reasons" or Ritsu and Teru or even Shou and Teru!

But what about Mob? When does he get to blow stuff up with his mind for funsies? For shits and giggles? He didn't go through all of those meltdowns and character development for nothing, let him go ham on a junkyard car or something smh

I believe in Mob's narrative given right to fuck shit up sometimes

[skitskatdacat63]

Roleswap anyone??

Tell me Fernando wouldn't make a fantastic general/emperor, and that Napoleon wouldn't make a fanastic driver/tp!!

[marcsnuffy]

as the tumblr's resident snuffy expert I have to ask you what you think snuffy and lorenzo's actual legal relationship is (like did he take on the role of his guardian or is he technically more of a sponsor) and furthermore what you think their dynamic is like behind the scenes. like even if you accept the idea that snuffy is more of a father figure to lorenzo than an employer there's no way that this guy who was a homeless orphan until he was a teenager and the man who took him in *on the basis that he be athletically successful* have like. a normal unremarkable parent-child dynamic

Thanks for the question, sorry about the yapping

I'm torn on how to answer the legal relationship question. To me, it depends on how old you think Lorenzo is during the flashback. I always thought he was around 15-16, so I rarely consider an option where Snuffy isn't his legal guardian. However I could see some PIFA fuckery involved to avoid any legal trouble in the case he didn't have a legal guardian involved before becoming an adult legally.

Even then the process for getting gold teeth takes more than one day (all the visits you need to get your teeth properly checked for the procedure, the healing process takes months and more visits, etc) and he was near death so I'd like to think he was taken care/supervised of by Snuffy during that time (which is why Lorenzo's so attached to him). (the amount of care is up to interpretation bc it's hc territory anyway)

After that, when Lorenzo started playing football, *then* it's more of a sponsor/employer/advisor?/mentor? situation that occasionally bleeds into guardian-adopteé territory but never completely. I think they had something similar to how Ray Dark ended up dropping Kaiser at the BM dorms, except I think Snuffy directly had a hand in training/teaching Lorenzo before and still kept somewhat in contact during. I also like to think he got him a tutor or something, but this is more so I can sleep well at night. Snuffy IS the "what will you do when football's no longer an option" guy anyway so it's not unrealistic.

I need to add somewhere in this post that I believe/know in my heart that Snuffy picking up Lorenzo happened a bit after Mick died (months, maybe a year max) and specifically because of it. Comparing dead Mick & almost dying Lorenzo was super common when ch. 229 came out so I won't elaborate much on it, I just wanted to mention it.

Dynamics wise... There's too much going on for them to be in a normal boss and employee situation, Snuffy isn't fazed by Lorenzo's antics at all, Lorenzo goes up to Barou* to convince him to succeed Snuffy while also bringing up Snuffy's promise to Mick and also just everything about Lorenzo's reaction to Snuffy going back on his retirement, he literally told Barou he loved him & offered him a gold tooth. I don't think he says that to anyone yknow

*and by the way this interaction always stands out to me, since the timeline of events is not clear at all. all bc the fucking blue lock building is built like a prison and idk what time it is. I think Snuffy&Barou´s conversation happened at least some hours or a day after the Ubers introduction bit. During Lorenzo's backstory dump they're wearing pajamas but then Snuffy tells them it's time to train, so I assume it's the morning after that. Anyway I wonder if Snuffy just told him about it or if he directly asked him to talk to Barou. I feel like it's the former (given their reactions to Barou accepting Snuffy's deal) but the setup kinda makes it feel like the latter. whatever it was I think it's evidence for me to say that Snuffy trusts Lorenzo.

And I feel like there's nothing direct I can point to to say they're close enough to have a regular parent and child relationship. Still I feel like just by having Lorenzo be a NG11 and the fact that he enjoys football and doesn't scream cry and throw up when he loses or when he is inconvenienced (THE BAR IS ON HELL) makes me think Snuffy is mostly a positive influence on him. I like to think Snuffy does care a lot about him but he's the type of guy that shows it by meddling (kinda like Reo or younger Sae (who wasn't much of a meddler iirc. this makes sense in my mind)) and just isn't that visibly affectionate with anyone anymore.

More about the father and son thing. This is also headcanon territory I'm sorry. I don't think they, like, go out fishing as a bonding thing or anything like that. but I do think they don't go a week w/out talking bc I think Snuffy's a bit neurotic about how the people he cares about are doing because of reasons and Lorenzo loves talking people's ears off about everything and nothing. I think Lorenzo tried giving him an expensive gift with one of his first paychecks and mentioned "paying back his debt bit by bit" as a joke that wasn't really a joke and Snuffy's face twisted & he said something along the lines of Lorenzo not owing him anything and it was awkward between them for a while after that. I think its fucking WEIRD but they care abt each other and that's what matters

TL;DR: I think there had to be a point where Snuffy was his legal guardian or at least acted like it to some degree. In regards to their dynamic behind the scenes, that is not a father that is a grieving tutor-guardian-mentor-advisor-employer-professional football player and his renowned domesticated possum employee/adopteé who is soooooooo normal about worth.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

choosing violence 10 + 16 + 22 !!!! >:333

ok u didnt specify a fandom but im just gonna do this for pd because its front and center in my mind !!!!!! oh boy i cant wait to be crucified for my opinions

10. worst part of fanon

this is a problem with every jrwi campaign and also like. most . other fandoms to be real. but it seems like my favorite characters are always the ones that get the worst of the mischaracterization beam -_- i cant tell you HOW MANY fics ive opened bc the premise sounds cool only to IMMEDIATELY close it due to "he would not fucking say that" this isnt pd but if i have to read one more fic that infantilizes gillion for not understanding Land Things im going to blow up. hes stupid sometimes yeah! but hes not ignorant and hes not a baby hes like. literally the oldest one on the crew even if its only by a year or two. head in hands

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ok im gonna get burnt at the stake for this one but i personally dont really see the appeal of tfem ashe... like i see the appeal yeah of course i do i just dont get why people are so like... weirdly forceful and passive aggressive about it? also this is totally a personal thing no hate to anyone that does this but its kind of a peeve of mine when ppl write analysis posts ans use their headcanon pronouns like.... if u are going to talk about and analyze canon then talk about canon !!!! i cant tell u how many good ashe posts ive skipped over bc im like. we are talking about different characters here .. respect to ashe tfemers and everything but its not for me

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

THERE IS A DISTURBING LACK OF CLARENCE ALBERT FAN CONTENT. WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT MORE INSNAE ABOUT CLARENCE ALBERT. HELLO???? am i the only person that feels this way . can anyone hear me its so fucking dark in here. every day i just want to read a fic about clarence albert and i am met with this

and neither of them are . interesting to me. hell on earth. bizly PLEASE give me more clarence lore in season 3 im fucking starving.

[basementpartier]

currently having thoughts about schlatt w/ separation anxiety

(all sfw)

texts his s/o about everything he's doing all the time to keep in as much contact as possible

also sends pictures of everything he's doing throughout the day since it can be faster and more engaging than just describing things or sending brief updates like "on the bus now"

calls every single night if he's away for multiple days. he'll typically either fall asleep on call or stay up super late talking to his s/o and fall asleep at like 5 am

likes calling his s/o while they're out of the house (as opposed to getting texts from them all the time cause he knows most people can't keep up with that)

not a big fan of splitting up when on an outing with his s/o, even if it'd make the trip faster or otherwise be more convenient

will come up to his s/o at random times during the day and just insist on hugging them for a minute or two cause he remembers that they're there and they're a person and he needs to be close to them

[silverskye13]

Random question you don’t have to answer, but how far ahead in chapters are you in terms of writing vs what’s posted on AO3? Are you posting the minute you fully finish a chapter, or are you writing chapters in chunks and posting when you can?

Currently posted up to date. I previously had a "buffer" [tried to stay 3 chapters ahead, and post on a weekly/tenday basis] but most recently I had to dismantle my backlog to fix a plot hole, so it's instant posting.

I would like to get a little bit of a buffer again in the future, but the problem with buffers is they give me the chance to go, "Wait this isn't perfect. I should fix this." As opposed to what I usually do, which is, "Oh that could've been cooler. That's fine! I will find a way to integrate this later and/or I will find a way to write around this problem."

[Or alternatively, force myself to let it go, because it's a fanfic and if it isn't perfect, who cares? No one.]

So I don't think I can have more than 1 or 2 chapters written ahead now. Know thy limits and all that.

[ilovelickingrocks]

something to be said about the deeply dysfunctional and abusive but also tightly bound relationships and dynamics in it's always sunny in philadelphia. "shut up, charlie, i can talk to my son any way i want" says it all. frank traumatized both dennis and dee for their entire childhoods and then they end up stuck with him as a permanent fixture of their friend group when they're almost 30 and he stays with them for twenty years, and in that time he grows, he changes as a person, he becomes a surrogate father figure to charlie and mac, but at the same time, he becomes even more of a demented, morally corrupt person. he continues to mentally scar dennis and dee, showing them their dead mother's skeleton for the hell of it, but at the same time, he is part of their group. he's part of the gang. even when he stops being their dad, he's frank.

[ethereiling]

on one hand i truly believe that people's refusal to be sincere and vulnerable is one of the great failings of our culture and has led to a lot of varied problems but on the other hand if im genuine i will DIE

[pink-lemonadefairy]

🌻 ₊˚⊹ ࿔ 🌳

[lazaruspiss]

writing... having Thoughts and Ideas. currently enjoying my evil thoughts of juxtaposition. of bruce objectifying and sexualizing dick only for dick to turn around and behave like. yknow. wee lad. silly lil guy. i almost feel bad about the torment im gonna put him thru <3

[end-orfino]

ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it

[skitskatdacat63]

And here is the bull himself >:)

+ lore notes

I was like, ah I should make the shadow something interesting, and then I'm like GIVE HIM BULL HORNS???? OKAY SURE !!!!! I'm glad such thoughts can strike at 7 in the morning....thanks brain. But hehehe I'm glad bcs now this matches up super well with the Nando one!

New ship dynamic: who's the bull and who's the matador :)

I think, in this AU, Fernando is generally pretty fond of Seb when he first meets him. Like "ah yes my very own protégé, very nice, I shall mold him in my image." But then Seb starts veering off that course. Bullfighting is all about being dramatic, but Seb maybe has a bit too much(🤏) flair for the dramatic. This escalation starts while he's still Fernando's assistant but he keeps it generally at bay. But god when he becomes a matador himself, he's just off the rails insane.

Bullfighting, to me, is a sport about reckless endangerment of one's self in the pursuit of drama and performance(its literally described as a tragedy in three acts.) But Fernando thinks Seb endangers himself *too* much, not because he cares or anything, but he's making a mockery of the sport!! Especially when Seb starts doing that bull hand symbol(seen above), Fernando just keeps become more enraged with him, not anything to do with the fact that Seb is threatening his records and threatening his own wellbeing, nah of course not.

Seb's gesture is making a mockery of the sport, he's disrespecting the culture, the very nature of it, blah blah blah. Jenson once asks Fernando, after noticing him seething while watching Seb do his gesture, "Which bull are you really trying to defeat?" One could also describe Fernando and Seb's relationship as a "tragedy with three acts."

Anyways Fernando gets very tied up with this rivalry. Even after suffering a severe injury(I have yet to decide, but y'know mchonda electrocution core), he quickly returns to the sport, loath to let Seb get any more headway. And then Seb gets injured, poor little sweet Seb, and neither of them can handle it. Though I already covered this in my prev lore post 🤭 and I think I put it pretty viscerally there so!! I digress.

They're both matadors, but the bull itself is not the only bull Fernando wants to conquer. Conquer as in death? Hm.

[andragoras-in-vanity]

im convinced that people who actually want to live in cities and dont see the environmental and emotional trauma their inflicting on themselves by enabling those places to continue to grow have just the most severe brain damage

[gladiatorcunt]

someone: yeah i like the dick cheating on kori with babs thing and i like writing him ooc-

yeah you’re banned

[friedhands]

I need to see my blood to know I'm real and haven't been replaced yet