#its also kind of part of why my au posts are so detailed?? i want to show thst i love the original enough to put all this time and thought

[wazzappp]

Sometimes I feel a weird sort of guilt for having periods of time where I'm way more into the au content of a media than the original. It feels like I'm not paying enough respect to the original?? Somehow???

Then I remind myself that I can do whatever I want and media is supposed to be enjoyed.

[ampblamp]

AU: Here's How Billford Can Still Win

(part 1: make that triangle miserable)

tl;dr: i want bill to have his ability to live in denial about what he did shattered by several important figures from his past BEFORE he can enact weirdmageddon. this way the yaoi can be messy and toxic (at first) but NOT doomed. it's self indulgent for sure but i'm doin my best to keep it IC as i can 🫡

this first post is just me figuring out how i think things would have to go down on bill's end for billford to have any chance of working out. take my hand. come away with me to my autism world

i'm still figuring out all the details of what would have to change to like. weaken bill's mental defenses enough because he HAS been able to shove his guilt down for so long. i do think everything with ford would be one of the key factors cause he had never connected so much with any of his prior human partners and obviously things souring fucked him up enough to have a turbo breakdown. (i know it's also because of the amount of times the plan has failed but i think he's also feeling rejected by so many humans not liking him lolll)

i think his breakdown after getting wasted at o'sadley's would happen like in canon, save for its repercussions. once bill starts thinking about his mom and everyone else from euclydia around when he's about to be arrested, maybe it would open the door for thoughts of them to keep slipping through his defenses. and suddenly thinking about weirdmageddon and hearing himself and other people talking about it could have a chance of triggering him.

i know personally that trauma can jump in and completely drag you back in time regardless of any logic, and i think him having that kind of episode sooner might be the key to getting him to face that he doesn't want to keep repeating what he did to euclydia because it's never going to be enough to convince the small, small voice in his head saying 'stop'.

because that's just the thing. bill has forced himself down a path of destruction to Prove to himself that its actually for the best to tear down "miserable reality" and replace it with his own vision. his drive and impatience to get weirdmageddon going is BECAUSE he wants to permanently cement that narrative in his mind with the ultimate "proof". because if the narrative fails, not only will he not be able to mentally cope (without help) he'll completely fail the henchmaniacs, who he promised a new home, and look vulnerable and weak, which he's TRAINED them to view as what should be destroyed.

i think the o'sadley breakdown and my proposed worsened repercussions of it would destabilize him, but it wouldn't be enough to stop him. what would push bill over the edge in this hypothetical would be several powerful entities from bill's past like the axolotl, the oracle, and time baby working together to somehow target his mental weak point. cause remember, time baby canonically KNOWS bill's weak point.

also like. To Me. the axolotl and the oracle are people bill was close to and has seen himself in at one point* but they matured and he didn't, and that's why he's SO hostile towards them.

*the oracle being an ex-henchmaniac is canon but i say this about the axolotl because of xolotl. look him up, it'll freak your bean.

alsooooo... ford not being as immature and vengeful as bill hoped he was is probably why bill broke down so hard - because it reminded him of the axolotl and the oracle. all the people who he actually connected with on a deeper level have left because of the same reason. but bill was always too terrified to confront everything he's done, which would be necessary to follow them.

so ends part 1... next, i think i'm gonna try to figure out how ford and bill would meet again (haha). ford is sucked into the portal right after (maybe even during?) the whole o'sadley's deal iirc sooo... fun point in the timeline to play with!

also hopin to draw stuff for this AU in the future :]c calling upon the power of my newly aquired ADHD meds lmao

[factual-fantasy]

24 asksss :}}} ⭐⭐⭐

@ardent-38

You are my favorite person

@wolfie-777

Cassie does not exist in my AU. But hypothetically-

If Roxanne found this lost child she would report it to Vanessa and have her help Cassie. As is the protocol for children that are found on the premises after hours.

If Roxy found her while she had the "bug" in her system? She would have attacked and maybe even killed Cassie :x

Had to google what that was, <XD It looks beautiful! And I image that he has seen it before yeah :)

As for their favorite songs, I'm not sure :0

That's.. actually a really good idea.

For a long time I never went back to the comic because the writing I did was awful. Everyone was acting out of character, it was SUPER dramatic. I wrote Peso's character all wrong. Uhg, awful awful awful.

And then I was kept away from going back because people would not stop asking me to finish it. "Why did you abandon this comic?" "Are you gonna finish it?" "Why did you stop drawing it" "Go back and finish the crab comic" Like, it was so frustrating.

...Buuuuutt,, rewriting it? Hmmm... I'm way too wrapped up with projects to start this anytime soon. But I wont lie this ask really got me thinking about it-

Also thank you so much! I'm glad you like my art!! :DDD

@smilegirl64 (Post in question)

Thank you! I'm so glad you noticed! That was my favorite detail to add XDDDD

@elegysonnet

I dug into the series a bit and took a look around the fanbase. And I decided that it just wasn't really my thing.

Although I did love the character designs and I think they'd be really fun to draw, I didn't think I'd get along with the fandom. I can see myself huddled in my own little corner with all my headcannons and stuff, and I wouldn't really want to interact with anyone else. :/

Also my favorite character is probably Julie or Howdy XDD

I use an XPPen Artist 13.3 Pro. Its a tablet with a screen! :))

As for my drawing program I use FireAlpaca. Its free and really good for beginners and pros! Highly recommend if you're just getting into digital art. Also thank you!! :D

@baokim80

@burningmusicfunnygiant

I disagree actually. The "bug" aside, they are in no way programed to hurt anyone. They are programmed to have full obedience to staff and Managers.

They could try to stop them, and they could physically stand in their way. But you wouldn't see Freddy straight up punching an employee to keep him away from Bonnie.

Now with the bug in their systems? mmm.. Okay yeah they would. BUT ONLY WHEN THEY'RE NOT IN THEIR RIGHT MINDS-

@cudlycorncornsworthcoberson

XDD Offended Bibi noises can be heard in the background

@curiousskelekitty

<XD I'll do my best!

I feel that my responsibility as an artist on this platform is to tag my art appropriately. Tag it for blood, gore, injuries, things like that. So that people who are disturbed by those subjects don't have to stumble upon it and have their day ruined. :(

What is NOT my responsibly is to prevent little kids from seeing my bloody Octonauts artwork. That's the parents job. XD THEY should be keeping an eye on their kids and making sure they're not browsing sites like Tumblr XDD

Tangle and Lolbit are not a part of my AU actually.

But Mangle? Just because she hasn't made an appearance of any kind yet, doesn't mean she wont in the future.. 👀

Thank you! :DD

Thank you! I'll try to not rush through my projects so much <XD

Thank you for respecting that! :D

Also uhg. I hate pinterest. I would rather people just never found out about me then find me through a pinterest post with my stolen artwork.

@whereismycupofcoffee

YEESSS!!! I always love it when people decide to give Octonauts a try :))) Its a really neat show!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDDD

XD My first thought was Peso or Shellington for some reason. They're just too polite to make a fuss XDDD

@kymbird

Wanna know a good place to start if you genuinely struggle with that? Make 1 character that is based off of you. And then make a second character that is based off of someone in your life that you have 0 romantic interest in what so ever. Like your Mom, or your Dad, siblings, Uncle, dog literally anyone. It should be impossible to twist those 2 characters together because they are modeled after you and ur mom. You should look at them and say "thats me and my mom" or "thats me and my brother" Those 2 should then be characters that are 100% protected from becoming a ship. :0

This actually reminded me of my transformer ocs. I modeled the characters after the drivers/owners. And people wanted to ship them together and I was like "for 1 they are my OCs so thats kind'a odd but 2 those two characters are based off of siblings. They absolutely should not- in ANY universe, be paired together"

Personally not a huge fan of the bright blue color he has. Seeing his Bonnie Bowl artwork everywhere I expected him to be his usual purple..

As for my Bonnie I think he'd get along pretty well with his Glamrock counterpart! But when it comes to the Bowling ally they'd be rivals. >:)

Also thank you! :DD

@trains-of-thought

aaaa thank you so much!! :DD I'm so glad to hear that you've liked my Mario artwork!! And that you read the info aaaa!! I spent a lot of time writing all that so I'm glad to hear that you read it! As for your questions,

1: Yes! My Peach, Daisy, Wario and Waluigi are all the same species, which is not human. They are this incredibly tall elf like species that closely resembles humans and has many biological similarities.. but ultimately they are very different species.

2: Its hard to say.. I've been known to change my mind a lot so maybe? Honestly I hope that someday these feelings towards fanart will vanish and I will be able to engage with my fans more. But for now,, noooo fanworks :(

OH MY GOSH I LOVE THAT FNAF VIDEO XDD Very well animated and funny! Here's the link in case anyone is interested!

I drew it myself! :)

[penaltyboxboxbox]

i love ur charlos parents au sm!! im not requesting art or anything if u dont feel like drawing (tho youre a phenomenal artist!!), but i was wondering if you wanted to share any more details abt the au? i thinks its so cute haha and would love to know more. also hope ur having a great day!

I LOVE THIS AU TOO i do want to draw more i always have ideas for it.... but i will gladly ramble about my lore ive developed

1. is this an mpreg au even i do not know or care to know. yes these are their biological children who look like them and share their genes but how did we get here ill leave that to you to assume. either way both of them definitely wanted big families and even tho i draw them with 2 kids i think they want at least 4..... charles wants a daughter and carlos says the same but secretly he only wants sons. hes picturing a future football team and also doesn't understand women conceptually

2. i actually think carlos3 was an accident child and charlos get shotgun married over it. its part of the reason why theres a bit of a gap between their first and second child. they had to like reassess and settle stuff after kind of having to get their shit together and make honest men of each other.

3. they get divorced at some point during all this mainly due to SAINZ SENIOR PRESSURE. probably while carlos3 is like highschool age. charles talks so much shit and then proceeds to get emotional like I SHOULDNT TALK ABOUT YOUR FATHER THIS WAY vs carlos like. bro tries to just act like they are normal regular friends now like man thats not how this works....charles always plays cool irl but is annoyed as hell underneath. very good coparents though....always at all the events together. when the kids stay at sainz family evil mansion for the summer they come back to charles so villainous and feral. he has to go supernanny on them...

4. charlos DO get back together after like 10 years of being separated lol. and yeah there were lots of messy nights out and not quite reconciliations throughout that time. very confusing family dynamic but theyre happy at the end

5. carlos3 grows up to be a guy who just kind of piggybacks onto whatever business endeavors his dads are doing. ultimate nepotism hire. hes not bad at what hes doing he just never really found that passion. his passion is like.....posting peaky blinders quotes on instagram. hes kind of a failson but hes also the perpetual baby for charlos so they just...coddled him too much his whole life djhdksndksbs.... younger son herve becomes a FASHION MODEL!!!! hes beautiful gorgeous and also a perfect nepo child so he's ripe for this career....he walks runways in paris

thats all i can think of for now thankssssss ily

[airrec]

will you ever make janitor ai or character ai bots out of any of the characters from your fanfics? if not.. can people make them? (please i’m dying to make a Dream Blob au bot i’m on my hands and knees begging here)

In short: no. Please, please, please do not.

In long: please do not feed my fics or posts to A.I. To do so would be actively against my wishes, and even the thought of it is upsetting and angering to me.

A.I. has a lot of potential to do good – in the medical field, in the sciences, etc. There is nuance to the subject of A.I. in general. Regarding specifically A.I. art, the technology is not yet advanced enough to be used as a tool in the way that a tool is meant to be used – it is not a brush you can download, or a digital model you can pose. It is “trained” through being fed lots and lots of real, human-created pieces of art, and copying that art.

It does not learn how to use specific brush strokes, or specific colours, or how or why certain details are included or left out. It is wholesale lifting from what it is fed and mashing it together into new configurations, Frankenstein style – there is nothing creative about it. Similarly, when fed fictional writing, it does the same: it copies and pastes common tropes, common story beats, common plots, common phrasings – there is nothing of creativity in there at all.

There are currently no legal protections for artists of any kind against A.I. algorithms; the technology is still too new, and already it is causing harm. Even just on the practical side, the environmental impacts of the excessive electricity usage needed to run the A.I. is immense.

A.I. generated art is theft, pure and simple. It cannot be currently described as anything other than that. And creative writing is a form of art. A book that you pick up in an airport, or a fanfic you open in a tab on your phone, or a well-thumbed novel you found on a shelf in a café – these are pieces of art. Perhaps you do not think of them that way, in the same way you might look at a painting and say, “Yes, that is a piece of art,” but they are.

I was talking to a friend of mine some time ago, and they said (and I agreed) that writing is often devalued as a form of art, because the idea that “anyone can write a book” is so pervasive. And, yes, anyone can write a book – or anyone can write letters onto a page in a specific order. In much the same way, anyone can draw a picture, or paint a mural. It doesn’t mean that there isn’t a creative process involved, and it doesn’t mean that there isn’t the development of skills and immense amounts of knowledge and experience going into story-crafting as much as there is visual arts. Quite frankly, anyone who says, “Oh, anyone can write a book,” has almost certainly never actually tried to write a book themselves.

My friend went on to say that very often books are considered objects, just things, not pieces of art that have been handcrafted just for you, just for someone to pick up and immerse themselves in and enjoy. In much the same way, fanfic has also become a commodity – perhaps even more so, because its content is based on a pre-existing canon that does not belong to the writer. But fanfiction is still art, in much the same way that fanart is still art, and the devaluation of it and its creators is upsetting and frustrating.

I am not a machine. I do not press some buttons, pull some levers, and start outputting fanfic. This is something I do for fun, because I enjoy it. It is something I post online because I want other people to come enjoy it, too, and for it to be an expression of art meant as a part of a fan community’s expression of love for a canon. That is what being a fan is all about.

I am a real human being, and I don’t deserve to have my art stolen from me, fed to a shambling corpse spouting out things it has “learnt” from both my art and from every other piece of art that has been stolen to feed it. Anything it would say – that would not be my story, because it doesn’t come from me. It would just be an amalgamation of thousands of people’s stories, cut down into something mainstream and palatable because the point of so-called A.I. art is not to create unique and interesting stories – it is to create generic ones that will sell easily under the model of late stage capitalism.

You know, I got the email notification for this ask last night. I have my email notifs on because I spent so long being shadow-banned on this blog, and I fear missing things in my inbox. I checked my phone in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep, and while I was reading the ask I could hear my mother breathing in her sleep just nearby – we’re in a caravan together, because it’s been a while since I went away with my parents. I am typing this answer up from that same caravan, and I’m squinting a little because the sun is reflecting off my screen. We’re going to have a barbecue later for dinner – we just bought the food for it not three hours ago. Did you think of that? Did you think about the way that I am a person, living my own life, and now I am being forced to beg for you to respect me as one?

Because that’s what you would be doing, if you did this: you would commodify me, and you would commodify my art. It would be just another machine-made thing, not something that’s handmade for others’ enjoyment; not something that work – my time, my energy – has gone into, that my passion and love has gone into. But I am not a thing, and I resent being implicitly treated like one.

If you really want to know more about people’s fanfics – talk to them! Leave a comment, send in an ask, engage with them in some way. Fanfic is created by fans for the enjoyment of other fans, and fan communities are still communities, which means there is a social element to them. Stealing from others, as one might expect, is frowned upon greatly – they gave that to you, for free. You pay nothing for it – and shouldn’t – and now you want to plagiarise and thieve what was shown in good faith?

I suppose that, ultimately, if you were truly determined, there is nothing that I can do to stop you. You could copy/paste my works into your A.I. bot creator and go on your merry way, despite how I’ve told you that such would make me extremely upset, and that it isn’t something I want. I can say, “I forbid you to do this,” - and make no mistake I do forbid you – and ultimately I have no power to actually stop you, because there is no law in place to prevent you from doing exactly as you please.

I can do nothing to stop you except this: I am asking you not to. Please.

[ping-ski]

Hewwo!!! :3 I hope you are having an amazing day, here is a whole plate of cupcakes! Would it be possible for you to share a few lore details about your Eclipsed By You AU story? I keep looking at the designs and I am so curious about what will be happening, I would wish to nibble on tiny lore crumbs, pretty please?

ama!! hihi! ! i meant to answer your ask much sooner! anyways, since you asked so nicely (and because i am pathetically weak to any sweets </3) prepare for some SERIOUS yappage under that cut

✦ AuDHD demands that I explain EBY origins before any details but you can totally skip this if you want! (Scroll till you see blue text! :3) So... Eclipsed By You was intended to be au/fic just for myself after work when I first got into DCA. I literally was pantsing a self-insert fic from just gameplay, voicelines, and a collection of scenarios I wrote in my notes app before I actually interacted with the DCA fandom lol. I was already in the process of writing it to be a proper fic and planned to make an AO3 acc to post it! I took some time away from it tho cause I got busy irl. During my break I did start to interact more the fandom! The first proper DCA fic I read was 'Solar Lunacy' by BamSara a few months back as a recommendation from a mutual I had from another fandom. I had told them about my fic idea and they suggested I read the fic as my fic had reminded them of SL. After reading through, I was kind of bummed initially because I really didn't think I had anything unique to offer with my own fic that I was hoping to share. I stopped writing it cause damn comparison truly is the thief of joy. SL and EBY had similar ideas going on and I just didn't feel like it was worth posting my fic cause it didn't feel "special" to me anymore. It was easy to give up since writing is really not my strong suit at all, so then I fell back to just drawing! I only came back to it despite the 19 other DCA aus I have lined up rn cause honestly I remembered that wrote it for my own enjoyment! Why did that have to change? Albeit, I did scrap lots of what I initially wrote and started fresh cause my interpretation of DCA changed. Regardless, EBY was always going to be a self-indulgent DCA/Reader fic taking place at the Pizza Plex. Sure not anything original, but that's just a fact of being a creative in general tbh. I felt silly when I realized that haha. I'm having fun and they make me smile, so who cares if its been done before lol. I still enjoy Solar Lunacy and still am a fan of BamSara! (the cotl content has been fueling me lmao)

✦ Some bits on Eclipsed By You- The main part of your ask lol! ✿ On the au/fic name: I actually stole it from another au (of the many) I have. No particular reason for it! I was writing EBY and that au around the same time and alternated working on the two throughout the day. That au is now nameless (actually it's nicknamed "Messiah" as I type) cause EBY grew onto me for what it is now! ✿ On DCA's designs: This might be kind of disappointing lol but- there isn't much of a lore/plot reason for their designs? They just look that way cause... why not :3 It's also part of just how I interpret DCA into my artstyle. Otherwise, they can be interpreted as the canon designs early on! Atleast until some future upgrades! ✿ When in SB are we? Everywhere /hj. EBY will have some pre-virus and post-virus stuff just for funsies! I'm dying to yap but if I say anymore I will get carried away 100%. ✿ On EBY!Eclipse: For this au, Eclipse is his own "person" you could say. With his own AI and personality chip to pair! Carefully built to be a dedicated host and theater bot. He is, including Sun and Moon, the entertainment <3. They are a singular animatronic in this fic! (like those 3 in 1 soaps except it's DCA /j) ✿ On EBY!Y/N: (EBY is a reader-insert, but intended to be written as gender neutral and an adult.) Y/N gets their own bit of lore and issues that may or may not be the stress/frustration from my 2 irl jobs thinly veiled lmao. They work part-time at the Plex as a general theater staff member! Each week, their tasks rotating between concessions, being an usher, and working along side the theater bots! (Kind of like a theater tech.) This is a part-time job just to keep them afloat while they work on their last bit of certifications and training to be a caretaker! They are pretty passionate about helping those in need. A sweetheart honestly. Though, if you don't like kids, maybe look away. Wholesome moments with the littles and DCA + Y/N is pretty decent with kids themselves. (Lots of projection from my own experiences working with children and elderly, as a caregiver turned caretaker. I kind of want to highlight some of my experiences with Y/N.) ✿ On EBY!Sun and Moon: These two are goofballs alongside Eclipse through and through. They all get to be sweet, soft, and doting I promise. Originally, before scrapping a good chunk of the og writing, EBY had a beloved sweetheart anxous Sun and aggressive Moon who was kind of an asshole(Before the rewrite, EBY felt so different. Like everyone was just tolerating eachother and fragments being held together with glitter glue n' dreams. I am very very glad it's different now lol.) Eclipse stayed fairly consistent though. Sweet house husband that he is. Now, Sun is just as unhinged as Moon (making him just as much as a threat!), but we will persevere with the power of friendship <3 We're gonna have some aloof Sun moments. He takes his job pretty seriously! Some goofy Moon bits who's giggles are light and airy. He is very unserious I fear. They're both trying their best, in their own ways. There's not much I can say rn without spoiling haha. It's hard to stay vague hrm. Or atleast I can't think of anything specific to add right now. (I may be able to answer some specific questions if you have any, my brain is just foggy rn) ✿ I'm simplifying it down to your "typical pizza plex fic" with pre-virus and post-fire shenanigans. I'm sorry if none of that is telling I can't think of anything specific cause I'm pretty sleepy rn so maybe it's a little boring sounding but I love it anyways haha Expect some canon-typical violence and non-sexual intimacy! I have intentions on writing the relationship between Y/N and DCA ambiguous so it can be seen as queerplatonic or romantic. (But this could very easily changed, I'm a shameless robokisser sigh.)

[ihavethedreamies]

From Afar | What the Heart Wants (1)

Qian Kun & Nakamoto Yuta (NCT)

Rating: Suggestive (18+) MDNI

Nothing explicitly is said or done, but sexual interactions are implied.

The beginning of this story has the reader underaged, but nothing happens or is implied to happen before she turns 18.

Word Count: ~14.2k

Pairing(s): Kun x AFAB!Reader x Yuta, the primary pairing is Kun x Reader, but it's kinda both for the first part.

Genre: Reader-Insert, Altered History AU!, Royalty AU!, Plot! (wow), Fluff? (not for sure that's what to call this), not quite smut (yet), Angst (but angry)

!!There are mature themes discussed…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her pronouns used, Arranged Marriage (ish), Harems/Multiple Wives (more fiancées…), Bullying (see Caution), Some Swearing, Borderline Misogyny/Sexism (you'll see, not from the boys, just like…society), Favoritism, Love Triangle, Jealousy, Pining, One-Sided Crush/Infatuation (or is it?)

Caution: This story is a bit darker than my normal stuff. There isn't bullying throughout, just one intense scene. It's not in a school setting, but I do want to warn anyone reading this that it could be triggering. I'll be real and admit that there is definitely toxicity here, and I know that's what it is, I try to be realistic with my stuff. There is also a part where the reader has a severe allergic reaction, so if that is something that is hard for you to read, be aware. Please let me know if you think I need to add in any more specific warnings or cautions.

Author's Note: This is based off of a dream I had while I took a nap a bit back. I changed some details because what happened in the dream was a little too unrealistic. But, most of it is pretty much the same. I have a lot of Kun dreams, but most of them I can't write a story with because there are weird cross-overs with my real life and often the video game Mass Effect (lol), so…

P.S. Kun is my Ultimate Bias and so…I held back for so long of going down the rabbit hole because I knew I wouldn't be able to crawl out once I did. I am working on another much longer series so that's why I don't have much posted for him yet since I want to get it mostly done before I post any of it.

P.S.S. The reader has a bad allergy to coconut, which is one I have. So, it might seem a bit extreme with her reaction to it, but I know from personal experience how bad I can be with it. I haven't had the same thing happen though.

I split this into two different parts because I hate reading a long story, and then the app or page somehow gets closed, and then you have to scroll to find your spot… The second part is just smut, literally just the smut part, but it was so long I needed to separate the two parts.

Part 2: Up Close (Smut)

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

Your life seemed to end before it really began. Things like harems for royalty and royalty itself should be in history books and old stories, not modern times. Yet here you were. Historians often talk about how much different the eastern world might look had Japan been successful in taking Korea nearly 100 years prior. Would they have ruled East Asia rather than the Korean Monarchy? Would China be its own country still? Siam? All you knew is that if World War II had gone much differently, you wouldn't be in the situation you were.

In order to keep the commoners and everyday folks of each country of the Korean Empire in line, the Emperor would marry a noblewoman from each land, therefore forming his Harem. When he was a prince, he had his little group of girls that followed him around and did everything with him, almost like some kind of harem anime or even American dating show. One would be picked to be his 'main wife' and the rest were concubines. That's what you were. Well, almost. You were 'in training' to be a possible concubine or wife. The king had five wives, and a son with each woman. The eldest was Taeyong, from the king's first Korean wife; then Prince Yuta, whose mother was Japanese; third born was Prince Kun, from a Chinese mother; second youngest was Prince Ten with a Siamese mother. His birthname was not used very often since most people didn't know how to pronounce it, and finally the youngest Prince was Prince Doyoung. His mother was Korean as well and since he was the youngest, he had the least responsibilities. Not necessarily in a bad way, but he was quite lazy and didn't go out very often. Each prince had a symbol that then was used to name his girls. Taeyong's was a rose and so his girls were The Petals. Yuta's was the Cherry Tree, so his girls were The Sakura. Kun's was a Bear, and his girls were The Ursas. Ten's symbol was a cat and his girls, The Tabbies. Finally, Doyoung's symbol was a rabbit, so his girls were The Bunnies. The name he chose somewhat showed how little he cared for formality. It was too much effort, and he was actually considered the best prince to follow. None of the princes were bad, though, it was simply that Doyoung was the least strict, and there were less rules overall. Taeyong's group was the most prestigious since he was the Crown Prince, and so it was hard to stay in The Petals.

Many different things could make a girl leave or get kicked out. It was pretty easy to get kicked out actually, but most of the time it was by the other girls. Jealousy and competition were rampant, but if sabotage or cheating was ever even just suspected, you were out. Each prince got their initial set at the age of eighteen, and the girls would be at the most two years younger, never older. So, when Prince Yuta hit the proper age, they sent out the search committee. Your father had told you as a little girl that he would never, no matter how much money was offered, let you go. Unfortunately, he didn't get to make the decision because he passed two years prior. Your mother couldn't manage the family estate and business well either, so she remarried, and of course your stepfather was more than willing to hand you over. You never learned how much he was paid, but you knew, to him, it was more than you were worth.

There were always five girls, two from Korea and one from China, Japan, and Siam as well. When you were escorted to the royal palace, you looked up at the tall arch allowing entry onto the grounds. Due to historical preservation laws, no one actively lived in the palace, but there was a modern campus built for the royal family. The guards let the fancy black car you were being escorted in through and it continued down the road past the elegantly preserved palace. Finally, after nearly five minutes of driving, the vehicle stopped in front of what appeared to be an extremely fancy hotel. You were told the main estate was further into the campus and was where the King and Queen lived with the Concubines. Where you were to live was where the princes and all of their entourages lived. Shakily, you got out of the car when it came to a stop, the heels of your black Mary Jane's clicking on the stone pavement. Your suitcases were removed from the trunk, and they went off to your room as you were led down the opposite hallway. Looking around at your surroundings, the building felt less like a royal residence and more of a luxury apartment building, there were even a few restaurants. Finally, after a long walk in very uncomfortable shoes, you were told to enter a large ballroom and you stood in line with what seemed to be twenty other girls. That was a surprise, you thought for sure you had already been chosen. While you wanted to pray you wouldn't be chosen, you also feared being sent back to your stepfather. Your soft yellow and white dress was probably just as expensive as the other girls’ but seemed much plainer. Standing straight, trying to remember your etiquette training, the line of girls all did the same, stiffening when a door on the other side of the ball room entered. At least, you thought it was a ballroom. There was a stage on the opposite wall and that was it. No tables or chairs, nothing. You felt the girls to your left and right turn their heads to try and see who entered, but you just stared ahead. The three people that entered stopped in the middle of the room, a bit to your left since you were toward the end of the line. The other girls were whispering, and curiosity took over and your eyes flicked to look at them. It was a servant, most likely since he was in a butler's outfit, a man in a business suit, and who you assumed to be the prince. He was beautiful, and that was an objective fact. His dark brown hair was longer, hitting his shoulders and he had it tied back into a half-ponytail. He was not dressed like a prince really; he had on a black T-shirt or tank top with a soft-looking grey sweater over it. He was in jeans and sneakers, and you looked down at your dress, then at the others. You were sixteen, but you felt like a little girl then, with your high-collared, long-sleeved white button-up with a yellow sundress over top. Though, it seemed he preferred casual, and you were the closest to that. His stance was casual as well, arms behind his back, leaning his weight on one leg as he lightly swayed, looking over the line of girls. The servant cleared his throat, and it was like some kind of primal instinct took over, and you placed your hands together over your stomach, and bowed low. No one else did. Panic set in when you realized this, hearing the other girls whispering. Now too nervous to stand back up, you pressed your lips together, but stayed bowed.

"It seems she was the only one raised correctly." A new voice, a woman's, cut in and you heard another person walk in. The woman stopped in front of you, and you only saw the bottom of her dress and shoes, she was dressed in the traditional dark green and blue hanbok.

"You may look up, dear." She prompted and you straightened, looking up slightly at the much older woman. Her hair was graying at the roots, but she was still quite beautiful. Her hair was tied back in a bun with a simple wooden pin and you swallowed under her sharp gaze.

"Prince Yuta, please come here." Her tone changed, and she bowed, stepping to the side and you froze as he left his original position and strode over to you. He stopped before you and you dropped your gaze. Don't look at his face. That was clearly something no one else learned and you were a bit worried about that, though, his handmaiden seemed pleased with you. Didn't mean he would be.

"How old are you?" His voice was soft, deeper than you thought it would be.

"Sixteen, your highness." Your hands still rested over each other, flat against your stomach and you tried not to flinch when his finger went to your chin. He lifted your head, but your eyes stayed down, no matter how badly you wanted to look at his face better.

"Look at me." He prompted and you obeyed. He was even more attractive up close, more handsome than you thought, still pretty. He tipped his head and a similarly pretty smile spread on his face.

"Her."

After that, you were quickly whisked away.

"What will happen with the other girls?" You asked the maid that was taking your measurements after you reached some sort of dressing room.

"He will pick the other nine and you will begin training." The same older woman from before entered then and you nodded jerkily, trying to process everything.

"Training?"

"It seems you have begun on etiquette already, unlike the other girls. That will help. Ten girls will start and after your four years the final five will graduate up. You will all learn everything you need to, to be a good woman of the royal family and possibly a future princess."

"I see." The same maid began holding up different swatches of fabric next to your face, flipping through different colors. Seemingly making a decision, the maid nodded to the head handmaiden, and you stepped off the small pedestal you had been set on.

"Let us go child, I will escort you to the dormitory."

 ~*~*~

Over the next four years, as you were told, you trained. Ten girls all lived in a four-bedroom apartment, three in two, and two in two. It was miserable. You really didn't mind the training and tutoring itself, it was the clique-like mentality the girls had even within the dorm. Let alone in the other training groups. You felt like an outlier the whole time but staying quiet and laying low helped. You yourself were not bullied, but you weren't friends with the other girls either. Not in any of the groups. Prince Taeyong's girls were a few months ahead of your group and the other three were not even a year younger. The eldest prince was only about four months older than Yuta, and he was only a month, maybe two, older than Kun. The youngest were each a month after. It seemed the King had gotten to work quickly…

For the first year you almost never saw any of the princes, not even Yuta. It seemed the first year was really used to weed out girls, and that was when some of the original twenty made a return. If one of the ten got kicked out or left, they replaced her. That was not what you expected at all, but it seemed you were relatively safe. You only got one demerit over the first year, and it was minor. The rules were strict and after your first dink you never messed up again. What did you mess up? You forgot to put in your earrings before the morning check.

After the second year, you would have more interactions with Prince Yuta, and sometimes the others. That was when you first met the third-born Prince. Kun. Your eyes widened when you saw him, it was like some kind of rose-colored filter hung around him. He was…perfect. You weren't sure exactly what drew you to him so heavily, but it was nearly backbreaking, the weight of your crush. It didn't help that your infatuation was with the completely wrong prince. Most of the girls were good at staying loyal to their boy, and if they weren't, that was grounds for expulsion. It was your first true hinderance and possible snare. The only one, really. Luckily, he wasn't around too often in the second year. For no reason, really, you hated the girls in his group. They were so incredibly fortunate in your eyes and didn't realize how much so. Was Yuta bad? Not in any way, shape or form. He was extremely sweet and kind, generous…but he wasn't Kun. To you, that was his greatest sin. Your obsession was a bit worrying, honestly. Though the girls were given a therapist they could talk with, she was there for things like homesickness and anxiety. Not near yandere-levels of love for a Prince not their own. Okay…it wasn't that bad, but you feared that if your mind ever got too weak, if you broke, it would be that bad. When third year rolled around… It got so much worse. The princes did a lot of things together and if a girl made it to year three, then she got to as well. On the new year of year three, the girls remaining were the final ones. One could leave, but she wouldn't be replaced. So, what most often happened, is the gaggle of fifty girls would each take turns with which five would go on an outing with their prince. What killed you about those, was when you were picked, and Kun would be there. It was hard to keep your wistful stares off of him and you prayed he would stick near Yuta for as long as possible, so you could look at him all the more. He was what most considered to be the handsome one among the half-brothers. Taeyong was what the girls defined as cute-hot. Could be either. Yuta was handsome-pretty, Ten was just pretty and Doyoung was just cute. Kun was handsome to the rest, but to you he was also the cutest, prettiest, and hottest. He was by no means buff, but he was able to build the most muscle tone out of all of them and you couldn't help but stare when his pants were just the right amount of tight around his thighs. When you finally got close enough to really look at him the first time, you cataloged every little feature you could. Especially the beauty mark under his right eyebrow.

~*~*~

You were truly a goner when you attended a causal tennis game the princes were engaging in. Doyoung sat off the side with his girls, and they were literally playing some kind of board or card game instead. You sat with the four other Sakuras on a bench, not even watching the tennis ball fly between Yuta and Taeyong's rackets. You were staring off into the distance, messing with a stray string at the top of your knee-high socks. If the head handmaid saw it… Wrapping your finger around it tight, you yanked to try and pull it away, the elastic tightening with each tug. You were so preoccupied with your sock that you didn't even hear the warning call, but something thunked against the back of your head. You yelped, falling forward off the bench, managing to catch yourself with your hands, but you scraped your knees up badly on the court-floor.

"Hiyomi!" Yuta immediately called and was at your side. You weren't even sure if you would have known he was calling you if he had said your real name. You hadn't heard it in such a long time.

"Good job!" Ten shouted sarcastically and you heard another come to your side.

"Hey, you okay?" Yuta helped you sit up a bit, letting your rest your forehead on his shoulder as he looked at the back of your head.

"I'm so sorry, Hiyomi." Your body froze when the other person's voice seemed to speak right in your ear and another hand rested on your upper back.

"Does it hurt there?" You hadn't even realized Yuta had pressed on your neck at the base of your head. He must have taken your sudden rigidity as a pain response. Carefully, slightly, you turned your head so you could glance out of the side of your eye, through your hair, at a red shirt. Only one of the princes was in a red shirt that day. You were sure your face turned about that same shade when you realized the other boy so close to you was Kun, and that the hand on your back was his.

"Hiyomi?" Yuta prompted again and you flinched back to reality.

"Uh, no." Your own hand came up to run over your head, wincing as you felt the small bump forming under your hair. The hand left your back and you felt Yuta move your hair so he could see where you pressed. You gasped when Kun's hand came back, his fingers gently running over the bump.

"She should probably go to the infirmary." The younger prince decided, and Yuta hummed in agreement.

"I'm so sorry, Hiyomi." He apologized again, and even though it was your alias, hearing him speak your name twisted your insides around.

"I-It's okay." You were too scared to lift your head as Yuta helped you stand, knowing that if you met Kun's gaze then you would fall back to your knees.

"Come on, sweetheart." Yuta wrapped an arm around you so he could lead you toward the building and you felt the glares of your team boring through you. It was evident even before then that Yuta favored you, and it made the girls mad. You never made more of an effort to woo him like they did, you just lived your life naturally, and that seemed to be what appealed to him.

"I guess the nurse isn't here right now." Yuta had helped you sit on the edge of one of the two cot-like beds and then he kneeled in front of you.

"Do you mind if help with your knees?" He had noticed the scrapes, and you shook your head with a hum, and he left to get the first aid kit. It was then you really felt the pain in your head, but you hadn't even seen stars, so you doubted you had a concussion. The tennis ball hadn't been going that hard, it had bounced on the court before it hit you, slowing it down pretty good. When the prince came back, he cleaned the scrapes and you winced at the sting. He was so gentle and put ointment on as well before the band-aids. As his thumb smoothed over the bandage, he opened his mouth to say something, but the nurse decided to return right then. He went back out to the tennis court as she looked you over and she suggested you rest for a bit, there was no concussion evident, but you did still get hit in the head.

You had managed to drift half-way to sleep, and you somewhat registered hearing the nurse step out, and someone not too long after coming in. It was a different person for sure, they weren't in heels, and you wondered if it was the head handmaid. Flittering your eyes open when you felt them move to your bedside, you jerked in shock.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" You tried not to panic, eyes falling quickly to the white logo on his red shirt. You were allowed at that point to look at Yuta's face, but you weren't sure about the other princes. Plus, if you did, you might just explode.

"N-No." You shook your head against the pillow and shuffled under the light blanket. Fuck. You tried not to wince when he kneeled down so he could meet your gaze. He smiled. You were done for.

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to let the ball hit you. I tried to go after it, but I'm not very fast." Kun huffed bashfully and you just gaped. Speak! Say something, stupid!

"I-It's okay."

"Can you tell Yuta you're not mad at me? He looked like he wanted to kill me." You knew the look. Yuta was definitely the scariest of the brothers.

"Y-yes." He sighed in relief at that and stood back up.

"I should probably go before you get in trouble for me being in here." He huffed in annoyance and then waved as he left the little infirmary. You were truly and royally, ironically, screwed.

~*~*~

Of course, it got worse through the third and into the fourth year. All the teams had been narrowed down to the final five, the girls that were weeded out were essentially turned into the reserve team. You didn't know what that meant until after you graduated. And you did. You were in the final five for The Sakuras, the little junior harem of Prince Yuta. You were also the forerunner, the informal leader despite being the youngest, but you were the least popular. Out of all twenty-five girls, they all either hated you or didn't care to acknowledge your presence. To them you put in very little effort to get to your rank, well, how you ranked to Yuta. In actuality, you put in the most effort, and had no demerits and never had to make up in any of your training. All of the other maknaes, the youngest, were the favorites of the other girls. Not you. You didn't fit the cutesy, sweet image you were supposed to it seemed. The graduation wasn't going to be until April. Because the princes were so close in age, they decided to just do everyone at the same time, and that just made the internal competition even worse. Though, your favor with the head handmaiden granted you a privilege. Early information. You knew things before anyone else, you were warned. That's how you saw it anyway. It seemed that there would be another year of training after graduation. Everyone was of age by then, which meant the sexual teachings started. It had to wait till you were finally assigned to your prince, since he would head your 'studies'. You were to learn what he liked, how he liked it and so on. It was a rumor by that point, and many girls were unbothered by this. It made sense and they were okay with it since they would be future wives anyway, and some were even looking forward to it. You didn't hate Yuta, not anything close. You did like him, but… You decided then that you had to give up on the younger Prince. You were Yuta's, and that was final. You also learned that the girls that fell through the cracks more or less joined a brothel, modern day gisaeng for the princes and their friends. Not only did the girls graduate in April, so did the princes. And that meant everything changed. You wouldn't say that they turned into scoundrels, but finally they were more-or-less unrestrained, so they let loose. Parties. Drinking. Sex. Lots of it. You never asked about the other princes, not wanting to learn that your beloved prince had fallen into debauchery as well. Their personalities hadn't changed, they weren't abusive or even rude, but they turned into animals. You heard that Ten and his friends had full orgies with his girls and the extras. You knew when Johnny showed up that something utterly filthy was about to go down.

Taeyong seemed to be more restrained, but he was somewhat selfish. He didn't want to share his Petals, but that didn't mean that it wasn't just as naughty what happened in his quarters. Doyoung preferred more low-key engagements, but just because there was only one girl in his bed didn't mean they weren't going at it for hours on end. The only first-hand knowledge you had was with Yuta. Obviously. Honestly, you seemed to be corrupted more and quicker than the other girls. It was one of the few times you felt like you could be yourself, not constantly worried about doing and saying the right things. It was a good outlet as well for all the emotions you pushed down and hid. You were open to most things, mostly because Yuta was by no means selfish. You preferred the more carnal and kinky acts honestly; you weren’t sure you could ‘make love’ to him. The only thing that first gave you pause was when he asked if you would be okay with two of his friends joining. No other girls, just the three guys and you. It was a bit scary at first, and you wondered if your future husband had some sort of fetish, but his reasoning shocked you.

"You let me do whatever I want, Hiyomi. I want to spoil you." He spoke between kisses along your neck, your shoulder exposed from where his shirt had fallen over it. Yuta wasn't that big for a man, but he was bigger than you, his clothes baggy on your body. If you asked him, he probably would be okay with just one wife. And it would be you. You wished it wasn't though. Even with the comparatively few interactions you had over the years with Kun, you had hopelessly fallen for him, and you were content to pine after him in the distance for the rest of your life. That was better than nothing at all.

"W-which friends?" You shivered as his fingers ran over your back under the garment you had on, one finger slipping under the waist band of your lacey panties.

"Jungwoo. Mark?" His arms wrapped around you and pulled you down further into his lap, his hard cock straining against his pants. It seemed the thought alone turned him on. Those two? That was fine. Most of the princes' friends were shared, but Yuta was the closest with the two he offered. It made sense. It was odd at first to think about it, but if you weren’t sleeping with Yuta out of love, then it wouldn’t be too much different with them. And, based off what you knew the other girls did, it was actually relatively mild.

"You don't have to, sweetheart." Yuta nuzzled under your ear, and you sighed.

"That’s fine." It became a somewhat regular occurrence. And, as far as you knew, the other girls were not in a similar arrangement. But they knew, or at least, knew parts. This made them hate you more, they saw it as favor. It was one thing for a prince to indulge himself in three women, it was another for one woman to get ravished by a prince and his two friends. That was the ultimate sign of favor, you were good enough to not just get solo access to Yuta whenever but get the same treatment from his two just-as-attractive friends. The other girls knew, but they didn’t realize it was a common thing, just once in a blue moon. You didn't talk about it, because you knew how the others would be with it, and it honestly made you want Kun more. Somehow. Even with three men only wanting to please you, you wanted more… Not more, just someone else. 

~*~*~

You had a close call though, you almost got found out. There was some big event that the princes were having, some formal party. It wasn't a drunken orgy or anything, almost like some kind of game night with all their friends. All of the girls went as well, it was supposed to be childish fun. You hated it. Not minding cuddling up with Yuta, you hated doing it with all the girls glaring at you. Mostly the other four in your group, because it made his favor toward you all the more obvious. You managed to get through the night, taking the chance to watch Kun without restraint when they decided to start some karaoke. He was the second-best singer after Doyoung, but none of the brothers were slouches. Some of their friends were pretty good themselves, could have been their jobs. It wasn't you ogling him while he sang that gave you away though. And, either fortunately, or horribly, Kun was the one that noticed. The guys were all taking random pictures together, and you stood at the side watching, honestly enjoying the random things they were doing. At some point Kun ended up sitting on the floor, holding up his closest friend, Chenle, so he didn't fall off of Jeno's back where he stood. You covered your mouth and giggled, eyes flicking to Kun as they tried to hold the pose for the picture. His eyes flashed to meet yours and you felt yours grow wide. He smiled, straight at you, and not the sweet one he normally gave at formal events or to diplomats and other public figures. It was a smirk, and it was the sexiest thing you had ever seen. You knew your face was once again red as a cherry, you could feel the heat leaving your skin. You quickly avoided his look; hand going to try and cover your face as you slipped away from the crowd and toward the restroom. You splashed cold water on your face, then met your own frazzled gaze in the mirror. Taking a few deep breaths, you moved to leave but heard voices in the hall, so you halted.

"You know that Jingxian girl is a bitch, right?" The voice was familiar, but quieter than you were used to, so you almost didn't recognize it was Chenle.

"That's harsh." Another person replied. Renjun?

"It's true." That was Yangyang.

"Wait, was she the one who threw her soup at that maid while they were in Europe?" Renjun asked.

"Yeah. She also apparently pretty much stole some girl's necklace that she liked when she went to Japan with…I think her name is Eiko?" Chenle replied.

"Kun-ge told me that she had taken some book from one of Yuta's girls and threw it in a fountain. It was signed or something. He made her replace it and she had to pay like a million won." Your arm jerked away from the handle then. Yuta told you a maid had done it on accident…

"Was it the quiet one he got the leather satchel for?" You shook your head a bit in shock. Yuta got that for you…you thought.

"He told me he tried to get Yuta to let him have her in the beginning, but he said no." Chenle continued, and their voices faded as they continued down the hall. Your head was swimming and your heart had started to race again. There was nothing you could do if all that was true. You were Yuta's, and that was final.

~*~*~

There was a final straw for the other Sakuras though. At it would be their downfall it seemed, and they only fell because they weren’t careful when trying to push you over the edge first.

You were in the lounge, the area big enough to easily accommodate all of the girls and let them have all kinds of fun. Your favorite place was on the top bunk, of essentially a bunk-couch. Instead of a bunk bed, there was a nice soft couch with a wooden loft over it, and another couch on top with ladder-like staircase to get you up on. That was your favorite place. It was removed from the central conversation-pit-like area where most of the girls gathered. They would play drinking games and tell all sorts of lurid stories and secrets, while you would sit under the dim light of a lamp and read.

"Hiyomi, come here!" The girl that called you, Eiko, was the second eldest of your group. She was the only one that was actually Japanese herself, but even then, she was given a different name. You each were granted one from Yuta himself, you weren't even sure he knew any of your real names. Your birthnames didn't matter anymore.

Sighing, you reluctantly put your bookmark in your novel and trudged over to the group. Not everyone was there, Ten's girls were probably off getting drunk and defiled, and three of Taeyong's were with him abroad. Sitting down gently in an armchair, you smoothed your skirt down as you did and stiffly rested back.

"We're playing truth or dare." Of course they were.

"Okay?" They never invited you to play anything or do anything with them unless they were forced to. The competition had gotten much worse lately. As the Princes all approached the grand age of 25, they would finally choose their main wife. You were in the lead, to no one's surprise, but to everyone's chagrin. Yours included. You shot a quick glance at Jingxian. She was the forerunner of the Ursas…Kun's favorite seemingly. She was refined, elegant, beautiful. To many she was kind, sweet, but she was cold to you. She was never rude in person and as far as you know, after the book incident she didn't do anything. That was better than cruel though. She was close with Eiko, and you assumed that was why she disliked you so much, since Eiko cared so little for you. You didn't associate much with any of Kun's girls, but still you hated them. No, that wasn't the right word, you envied them. The worst thing was, you knew that Jingxian didn't love Kun. Just like you didn't love Yuta. She was enamored with Taeyong. Well, maybe not him, but his status. He was the crown prince, which would mean she could be queen if she was chosen. You weren't sure who else knew this, but you knew it was grounds for her to be more-or-less banished. If you really wished, you could out her, and get her kicked out, but what was the point? That wouldn't help you any, and there was no point in lashing out at her out of jealousy. That would make you just like all the others.

"Come sit here." Eiko was being way to friendly, which made you way suspicious. You followed her prompt though; you were the youngest after all. There was an empty soju bottle in the middle, the girls clearly having finished it off earlier.

"I'll start." One of the Petals started; her name was Anjeong. She spun the bottle, and you held your breath, only sighing gently in relief when it landed on Eunhwa, the eldest Bunny.

"Truth or dare, unni?"

"Hm." Eunhwa tapped her finger on her chin, "truth."

"How big is Prince Doyoung's cock?" She prompted and the girls chattered with curiosity. You zoned out then, knowing how this whole thing was going to go. Your eyes drifted to watch the gas flames in the fireplace. As you glanced back at the bottle as it was spun again, not even hearing her answer, your eyes passed over Lumei. She was the maknae of the Ursas, and you hated her the most. You could have been her; she was only about a month younger than you. She didn't seem to notice your glare and she giggled when the bottle landed on her when Eunhwa spun it.

"Truth or Dare, Lumei?"

"Dare!" She decided quickly and Eunhwa looked thoughtful for a second, looking around. She smirked and cast a devilish look at Jingxian before looking back to Lumei.

"Show us what Prince Kun's favorite position is." You wondered if they noticed you go still. Completely. You couldn't show a reaction, you didn't want to let any of them know your secret. They would use it to assassinate you. Jingxian scoffed at the question, over-dramatically.

"I don't think she's can." She grinned coyly, taking a sip of her wine and Lumei sent her a playful sneer.

"Honestly, I can't really show you, because I myself can't do it. But…" Lumei looked around and then climbed onto the couch behind her. She sat on it backwards, knees on the back of the couch, back to the cushion, her head hanging over the edge, hair flowing to the floor. She opened her mouth wide and just sat there a second, the other Ursas giggling. Your jaw clenched, eyes stinging, but you still didn't move.

"Her gag reflex is too sensitive." Jingxian pressed on her throat, and she hacked, sitting up to catch her breath around laughs.

"I can't even open my mouth that wide…" Mianyu mumbled, and the girls chattered and giggled. Your tongue ran over your lips, and you pondered if you could. You were all too familiar with that position Lumei mimicked, and at first you had been disgusted at her pose. But now you would enjoy it with Yuta more, you could imagine Kun instead. Like you often did. Your gag reflex was practically nonexistent, whether it was genetics or a fluke, it had always been that way.

"Okay!" Your eyes flicked to the bottle as Lumei spun it, still giggling, clearly tipsy. You sagged in relief when the bottle landed on Aikiro then. She was your biggest rival…in her eyes anyway. She outright despised you, she felt she should be the favorite just because she was the ‘leader’. Okay…whatever.

"Trush or dare?" The Ursa maknae hiccupped and you wondered if the blood going to her head made her drunker.

"Truth." She leaned back against the couch she sat in front of, sending a wry look your way. What did you do? You rolled your eyes and looked back at the fire.

"How many times have you done it with Yuta, and Jungwoo and Mark?" she asked, and silence fell over the group. Your eyes widened a bit, but you didn't look back to the group.

"You idiot!" Mianyu slapped the back of Lumei's head, and she yelped.

"What?" Aikiro nearly growled.

"W-well. I mean, everyone knows that Yuta invites them over a lot. Jinyu said…"

You felt four heated gazes fall on you and you licked your lips, looking slowly back at everyone else. Your eyes flicked to Jinyu who was staring at the floor, zoned out.

"What do you mean, a lot?" Aikiro looked back at Lumei who shriveled under her glare, pressing closer to Jingxian.

"E-every Friday." She replied. Before you could look back to your fellow Sakuras, you flinched as Aikiro stormed over, dumping her wine all over your head. You exhaled in shock, closing your eyes to prevent the alcohol from running into them.

"You fucking bitch! You told them? I bet you brag about it." You grit your teeth, reaching for the nearby tissue roll, but Eiko snatched it from your reach, her own drink joining. The fruity scent of whatever kind of pre-mixed cocktail she was drinking stung your nose and your hair started to drip.

"H-hey!" Gyuri, the kindest one there, the maknae of Doyoung's bunnies, tried. She really did try, but… You winced and grunted when a hand grabbed the back of your hair, yanking your head back so were forced to look up at the owner. Keiho was the oldest, out of all the girls actually, but she was the most cruel. She was the most two-faced as well. Your eyes flicked to her drink, expecting her to dump it on you as well, and your face fell. It was a bottled pina colada. Coconut. Everyone knew you were super allergic to it, couldn't even eat anything made in the same factory as coconut products.

"Hm, I wonder if you would like the taste of this?" Keiho took a sip before looking at the label on the bottle and she let go of your hair just long enough to let Eiko take over.

"Wait, Keiho-" Mianyu stood then, trying to go forward. Before she could get very far though, Jinyu grabbed her wrist, halting her. No one but you seemed to notice Gyuri slip away from the group and out the door. You prayed she was going to get help. Your heart was pounding, you were scared, legitimately. This wasn't a joke, not a game anymore. They were seriously out to hurt you. Keiho swirled the bottle a bit, and let it tip slightly, a drop falling from the mouth and landing on your cheek. It didn't take any more than five seconds for your skin to start itching, and the girls around you could see the skin already starting to redden, following the path of the drop before it landed on the floor. You tried to wiggle free at that point, out of Eiko's grip, but the final Sakura, Yumi, sat behind you in the chair, holding you in place. She giggled, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

"Should I tell them about Kun?" Her voice was so soft you almost didn't hear her. You froze then, eyes wide, looking toward Jingxian.

"She knows too, you know." Yumi whispered and then you saw the other woman smirk. The other girl still didn't let Mianyu go and help you. Aikiro kneeled then, joining Yumi in restraining you, her hand going to your face and pressing on your cheeks to force your mouth open. A tear fell from your eye, and you tried to shout, but Eiko's hand left your hair and landed on your throat. Not enough to cut off your air, but in just the right spot to silence you. Keiho swirled the drink again and was just about to tip it again, but she hesitated. Why? Your eyes met hers and she seemed to realize how bad it would be to do what she wanted, seeing the raising red welt on your face from just a drop. It wasn't like your tongue and throat would slowly swell shut, it could shut your body down faster than anyone could get help.

"Don't be a fucking coward." Jingxian snapped, slamming her wine glass down onto the side table so hard it sloshed from the glass. She snatched the bottle from Keiho, and she tipped it-

The sliding door slammed open, the loud noise startling her. The girls all looked in horror at the door, and you watched in terror as the bottle fell from her hand, the alcohol splashing onto you, and a swig or two fell into your still open mouth. You choked, trying to spit the liquid out, your mouth already burning, and the girls let you go as Yuta stormed into the room and straight to you.

"Hiyomi!" You spat more out, nearly tempted to force yourself to throw up…if you even could. Your mouth and face burned, your skin and eyes itched, and tears fell from your eyes as your head grew foggy. You were already wheezing, and Yuta was at your side immediately. A second person landed on your other side.

"Sit her up." You let Yuta move you, slumping back into him and watching blearily as the nurse brought the EpiPen down and injected the medicine into your thigh. You felt some relief at the moment, and you grew tired quickly but your breathing was still shallow. The nurse went ahead and injected the second shot and your body seemed to get enough relief that it wanted rest then.

"Hiyomi!" A third voice hit your ears and you blearily looked to see someone else dash in, heading for you as you fell unconscious.

 ~*~*~

You awoke to the sound of beeping, and distant voices. You blinked to clear your vision and it was clear you were in a hospital. You cringed, looking down at the IV in your arm…You really preferred it in your hand. You felt like you couldn’t bend your arm, and they had put it on your dominant side to boot. Groaning, you adjusted in the bed, your body and head felt heavy. The voices got louder; you could recognize one was Yuta's.

"They did it on purpose, everyone knows how allergic she is to coconut."

"I'm not saying what they did wasn't bad, but are you really okay with getting rid of your entire harem but Hiyomi?" It was another man, a voice you only ever heard in person once. It was the King.

"Father, if I had to pick only one wife, ever, it would be her. She was going to be my main wife anyway. I think having five of them is ridiculous anyway."

"Yuta-"

"I'm not the heir, anyway, so why does it matter?" You didn't hear a response if there was one.

"What about Jingxian and Jinyu?" Jinyu? She was there, but she hadn't done anything that you remembered.

"Get rid of them." Kun's voice was clear. And sharp.

"Didn't you tell me Jingxian was most likely your choice?"

"Not anymore."

"Jinyu too, then?"

"Wasn't it her idea?" Silence.

"Yuta, did what those six tell you not matter?"

"What?" Kun asked then, confused. You strained to hear Yuta's response.

"Yumi. She…she told me that Hiyomi likes you." Finally, your prince spoke. You heard the beeping of your heart monitor increase and felt it in your chest.

"Your highness, I found it!" A maid's voice joined, and you furrowed your brow, listening.

"There's a lock on it." What?

"Just snap it off." Your mouth went dry. Your journal. How'd she know about it? You were more than careful. Or so you thought.

"Did Miss Janyeon have the key to her lock box?"

"Yessir." Fuck. But, if the King requested, it wasn't like she could refuse. That was it. You were out. At least you didn't die.

"I knew all this." Yuta's soft voice was loud in your ears and your breath hitched. What?

"You did?" Kun and the King asked at the same time.

"She's careful. But I know her too well by this point."

"Why didn't you say anything?" the King prompted.

"She was mine, that's all I cared about. It was selfish, but… It is a bit worse than I thought." Yuta huffed.

"What do you want to do, Kun?" Their father moved on.

"It's up to her." It was hard to read his tone, and even in the other room, you could feel the tension rise just by the lack of response from Yuta.

"She's mine." His tone was harsh, you had only heard him angry one other time. Right before you passed out. It felt like minutes of silence passed.

"If that's what she wants." Kun spoke finally.

"I think we owe her a decision, since she went through such an ordeal. It’s impressive she kept it hidden so well, and didn't ever act on it, or act out against the other girls. I might not be around much, but your mothers are, and they tell me everything. She's brave and strong for all the shit the other girls put her through. For now, let's keep it hidden we all know, let her choose her next actions without interference. If she chooses Kun, what will you do Yuta?"

"If you love something, you gotta learn to let it go." His defeated tone made your throat clench. You didn't want to hurt him, you really cared for Yuta. You also knew that your feelings for Kun were borderline insane, if not straight-out irrational. It was infatuation, you weren't allowed to get close enough to him to call it love. You were starting to realize then, that it was probably Yuta's doing. Especially if he knew. Maybe that was why he kept you at his side if the others were around, you thought it might be to protect you from the other girls…

"That's a lot different than what you said three years ago."

"Fuck off."

"Yuta, if you allow her to choose Kun instead, you won't have anyone. It would look bad on me." their father pressed.

"If she leaves me, I'll abdicate." You gasped at that. Yuta was second born, even if he wasn't the crown prince, he was closer to the throne than anyone else. He was right after Taeyong, which would put him in a high position when the eldest became King.

"Yuta-"

"If Kun ditches his girls. If Hiyomi chooses you, you can only have her. She deserves the world, and you better fucking give it to her." You closed your eyes, a tear leaving your eye as you made your own decision. No matter how desperately you had wanted Kun the last four years, Yuta was willing to risk everything for you. You couldn't let him do that.

"Would it look bad for the third-born to have one wife?" Kun asked then and you clenched your jaw, the beeping on the machine picking up. You glanced at it, not sure how to read the numbers, worried if you got any more emotional it would set it off.

"I'm going to tell you boys something that no one else can know. Doyoung already requested that he only marry Gyuri. He's tired of dealing with the girls' drama. Ten doesn't care much for an actual marriage to anyone. Taeyong is willing to have the harem if he's king, since it was the deal for the imperial alliance. He already chose Sooyoung to be the crown princess. I remember when I was your age, all of the crap the girls did to each other, the backstabbing, the gossip. The only girl I've seen that hasn't played into any of it was Hiyomi. Even your mothers love her. If she chose Yuta, what would you do Kun?" More silence.

"If that's what she wants-"

"What the fuck do you want?" Yuta spat.

"Honestly? I want to take her from you. I have for years. I know you said, father, to let her decide without us interfering, but… I'm not going to just sit by." The King sighed so hard that you heard it, your head was spinning trying to process everything.

"If she feels safe with it, I want to bring those six to her. Make them apologize. Hiyomi can decide if they will simply be expelled or if she wants to press charges legally." Your mind ran rampant in that moment. The king was letting you decide? All of your hurt and anger, resentment, jealousy; everything bubbled inside.

"I will have someone speak to Mianyu and Lumei as well. I have a hard time believing they had no part to play, or at least that they didn't know." The king finished and the conversation died, and you assumed they left. A door opened and you realized they had been in the room next door, sharing the wall that was behind your head. Your own door started to open, and you partially shut your eyes, pretending that you just woke up.

"Miss Hiyomi?" A woman spoke a nurse entered, with Yuta behind her. No one else.

"Yes?" You opened your eyes more, continuing the act.

"Do you know where you are?"

"The hospital." You hadn’t hit your head, why wouldn’t you know?

"It was good the nurse had those EpiPens ready, you had a very quick and severe reaction. We're going to keep you here overnight and if all is good, you can go back tomorrow." The nurse smiled and then left after taking note of your vitals, leaving you with Yuta. He sat in the chair next to your bedside, taking your hand in his.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like crap." You admitted and he couldn't help but sigh with a defeated smile.

"I would think. Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"Could I have some water first?"

"Oh!" He got up and went to get what you requested, probably from a vending machine or something. You hated tap water… Yuta returned, and he helped you sit the bed up more as you took a swig from the bottle. You noticed his brow furrow, and his thumb rubbed over your cheek, it must have been a bit red still.

"What happened, (Y/N)?" You nearly choked, luckily you hadn't taken a sip.

"W-what?"

"(Y/N)." He reiterated and you closed the bottle, lip quivering a bit. It had been so long since you heard that name…

"I didn't know you knew my real name." you whispered.

"I shouldn't. But I asked." You had a hard time meeting his eye, so you just rested back, eyes closed.

"I was stupid. I was just reading, and they invited me over to play truth or dare." You huffed in annoyance, "I was suspicious immediately, but I went along with it. I…" You didn't want him to know you heard their conversation, or that you knew he knew about your feelings for Kun.

"I hadn't even been picked, but Lumei asked Aikiro about…about Jungwoo and Mark." You finally looked at him and he nodded, realization painting over his worried expression.

"It was clear that only I get the…privilege." You weren’t sure what else to call it.

"Aikiro got pissed and so she dumped her wine on me. Eiko dumped her cocktail on me and they with Yumi held me while Keiho threatened to make me drink her pina colada." His brow instantly furrowed, anger clearly taking over. But he was the quiet, scary angry type.

"Keiho hesitated, so Jingxian grabbed it from her and decided to do it herself…" You shivered a bit, feeling angry yourself. You never felt so mad. Sad, upset, hurt, frustrated? Yes. Not anger, not the rage you felt taking over.

"What about Jinyu?"

"Jinyu?" You played along. Yuta sighed.

"Apparently it was her idea. We decided that those six need to go. Father wants them to apologize first. He said it was up to you if they get expelled or if you want to get the police involved." You knew all of that already, but you were able to put on a bewildered expression.

"I can decide?" Your prince didn't say anything, and you wondered if he was thinking about his willingness to let you decide about him, or Kun.

"Yes, of course."

"What…what about you and them?" He didn't look at you and you wondered how he would word what you already knew.

"I only need you." He told you softly and you tried to hide your wince.

"Will you meet with them? You don't have to."

"No, I want to hear them apologize. And I want to tell them they're expelled. And I want to press charges." You turned your determined gaze to Yuta; he had never seen you look so harsh. But it made him smile.

"Good."

~*~*~

The doctors determined you were good to be discharged the next day and when you got back to the Sakuras’ dorm, it didn't look any different. You then remembered you wanted to be the one to tell them they were expelled, so you got to. The rest of them weren't in there, but there were maids scurrying about in their bedrooms, packing up their stuff.

"Hiyomi!" You turned as the head handmaiden came in and her hands went to your face, looking you over.

"You poor child." She sighed after you told her in detail what you went through.

"I'm sorry I had to help them find your diary." She pulled the journal out of the top of her hanbok, the lock had been broken off.

"It's okay." You took it from her, "did you look at it?"

"No, child. I know how to respect someone's privacy." You nodded in thanks, and she left to attend to other duties and so you entered your own room. Nothing had been touched, at least it seemed that way, but you still checked. Finding everything was in line, you got changed into something a bit more formal for the rest of the day. Looking in the mirror, you put on the brown and black plaid jacket that matched your skirt. Adding the beret of the same pattern, you pulled it further back, then readjusted your thigh-high socks. After, since you had about an hour to kill before you were supposed to confront the girls, you rummaged through your things. Many of your nicer accessories and little trinkets were from Yuta. Your mind went back to the conversation you had overhead nearly three years prior. Plucking the familiar book off your shelf, you looked over it, the spine was wrinkled from many read-throughs and the signature was in a slightly different spot than the original. It was your favorite book, and it made sense why Jingxian targeted it, but how did she know? Probably Eiko… You then looked at your leather satchel, you used it constantly, and you had nearly forgotten that apparently, Yuta hadn't got it for you. Did Kun really get it instead? Or did he suggest it? Get it for Yuta to give you? You didn't know. The other little gifts started to leave a sour taste in your mouth, making you wonder if he had lied about any of the rest. Your glass paperweight in the shape of a cat went missing, and supposedly a maid found it in your laundry, so he brought it back. A set of manga you liked had a limited edition only sold in Japan that he got for your birthday. But…he hadn't been in Japan when they were on sale. Kun had been though. Letting your thoughts loop into the negative, you gathered all of your gifts, minus the bag, and piled them on your desk. The bag was a practical item, so it was allowed some grace, but you wanted to ditch the rest for some reason. Why did you feel so mad at Yuta? It wasn't like he did anything wrong, technically, he just continued to act like he didn't know about your feelings for his half-brother.

"Lady Hiyomi?" A soft voice called after a knock on your door. A younger maid had come to escort you to a sitting room where you were to meet with the girls. Swallowing the few nerves you had, surprisingly, you followed after her and entered the room. It was empty, no one else was there-

"(Y/N)." You startled, only noticing Kun as you got further into the room. He was sitting on the couch under a window, and you wondered why Yuta wasn't there. He looked gorgeous as always; his hair dyed a dirty blonde and slightly wavy, and he had on a navy and white letterman jacket.

"(Y/N)?" If Yuta wasn't supposed to know your real name, how did Kun? That didn't matter, you were there with him, alone. And he was coming toward you. That's when you got nervous, and you gripped your hands together to hide their quaking.

"Yuta told me. I…I needed to show you something before everyone else gets here." He pulled his phone from his back pocket, and you glanced up at his face to see his clearly upset expression. He tapped on the device, and you heard an audio recording start.

"Can you help me or not?"

Yuta?

"I can, but what's in it for me?"

Was that…Jinyu?

"I'll make it so you can leave. Get out of here." "What do you want me to do?" "Come up with the plan yourself but figure out a way for the other four Sakuras to get expelled." "Can't you do it yourself?" "Not without a reason. Public image and shit. I really don't care about the rest of them, I just want Hiyomi. Can you do it?" "Probably. You wanted me to drag Jingxian too, right?" "Please. She's gotten on my last fucking nerve. She has to know about Hiyomi and Kun, why else would she be such a bitch?" "I know that's it. What was the last thing she did again?" "Something petty, poured bleach on her favorite dress. I got her a new one and she didn't even notice, but…" "How many things have you replaced?" "Like seventeen or something crazy. Those are just the ones she doesn't know I did, too." "You know, if you weren't my cousin, I wouldn't do this." "Bullshit, you know that's not why. We're only second cousins." "I'm serious, Yuta. I couldn't care less about the others." "Even Kun?" "Kind of hard to like your future husband when you're a lesbian."

It was clear there was more to the recording, but he cut it off. You were silent for some time, trying to process everything you just heard. You stumbled and Kun quickly pocketed his phone and reached out to stabilize you, then led you to the couch.

"Did…did Yuta know what the plan was?"

"I doubt it. But…it still was partly because of him." You slumped against the back cushion, resting your cheek on it, mind swirling. Your hat fell from its place, and you just pulled it all the way off.

"W-what do you make of it?" You needed more information; your emotions were so turbulent you couldn't even decide for yourself what to feel.

"Well…I know Jingxian was such a bitch because I like you." He just straight out admitted it and your body froze, your default response. He must have noticed the jolt you gave as your body stiffened and his hand went to your chin, prompting you to look up at him. Being so close to him, it took your breath away, he was even more stunning up close. And his eyes were so gentle and warm, not the same sharp heat you normally got from Yuta.

"Honestly, early on I tried to get Yuta to let you go, so I could have you instead, but he refused." Kun sighed, then huffed with dry amusement, "I'll admit I'm a little crazy when it comes to you."

"Birds of a feather…" You mumbled and he let your face go and you just slumped against the couch again.

"You know how Yuta gets you two presents for your birthday?"

"One's from you, huh?" You guessed accurately it seemed.

"How-"

"A few years back, I overhead your friends in the hall. They said that you made Jingxian replace my signed book. I know my bag was from you. Looking at it now, those gifts make a lot more sense. They would be so different from each other. Yuta would get me a pretty set of earrings and a necklace, but then there would be a full book series. Or instead of nice shoes, it would be a galaxy print. The year-long pass to the planetarium?" Kun was more of an intellectual than Yuta for sure, he was the only one of the princes that went to college. That was part of the reason you liked him so much, he was more similar to you than anyone else there. You knew that even with the restricted amount of time you had around each other.

"How did you get that recording?" You asked when it seemed he was struggling to find a response. He glanced up at you, head still bowed, dirty blonde bangs falling over his brow.

"Jinyu sent it to me with a caveat. She made me promise that you wouldn't press charges against her. She doesn't mind the expulsion, would welcome it…"

"Did you know that she was…?"

"Yeah. She told me early on."

"Yes, it was her idea, but… Yuta prompted her, and if you promised her that, I'll respect it." Your expression hardened then, so quickly it made Kun raise his brow in surprise.

"I can't believe him. I know…" You swallowed hard, "I guess he did it because he loves me. Or that might be what he says, but for all this time…" You exhaled hard through your nose, brow furrowing.

"Yes, I want to get back at the girls even past kicking them out, pressing legal charges. They put me through so much shit for so long…And I shouldn't be this mad at Yuta, but… I want to get back at him too." Your last sentence was much quieter, you felt ashamed of your rage toward him, but that recording just bubbled everything over. You looked up then, fully to make eye contact with Kun.

"I just…I don’t know how. Help me?" The other prince hummed, leaning into the back cushion himself, looking pensive.

"I shouldn't be as sadistic as I want…" Your phone alarm went off then, meaning the others would be coming rather soon.

"Think on it, I'll go with what you plan." You told him, standing to adjust your clothes. Stepping over to a mirror, you put your hat back on, fixing your rumpled hair as well. The king was coming too after all. As you primped, Kun stepped up behind you so you could see him in the reflection as well. He wasn't any taller than Yuta, but that did still put him nearly a head taller than you since you weren't in heels. You gasped, watching his arms wrap around you from behind, his cheek pressing against the side of your head. The black fabric of his sleeve smelled amazing, like him of course. Your heart started to beat so hard you were sure he could hear it, maybe even feel it where his chest met your back.

"Tell me, what does Hiyomi mean? Do you know?"

"Something with sunlight and beauty." You had learned Japanese in your training, but that didn't mean you knew name etymology. Yuta had mentioned it before though.

"How do you like Yuhua?" You assumed it was something similar…was he already thinking of picking a different name for you? Honestly, it was the next best after your birthname.

"Perfect." You whispered and nearly whined when he pulled away abruptly, the door opening not even thirty seconds later. Your posture immediately corrected itself, and you bowed your head as the King entered, followed by Yuta, then the six girls were escorted in by a few of the royal guards. Though, they looked more like federal agents…

"Sit." One of them ordered and the clearly dismayed girls followed. There was still evidence of mascara running and their faces were blotchy and red. They weren't in their fancy clothes either, having been dressed in clothes similar to the uniforms worn as trainees. Plain pleated skirts and button ups with a cardigan. For once, you weren't the plainest dressed one in the room, and you felt more smug than angry looking over them.

"Come here, child." The king prompted and you stepped to his side at his prompting, head still bowed to avoid looking at his face. You didn't notice the glare Yuta had sent Kun's way when he realized he had arrived there early. And that he had access to you without your prince being there as well.

"Tell them, Hiyomi." He motioned with his hand, and you turned to face them fully. They were clearly shocked by your cold gaze, and your eyes met Jinyu's. She looked significantly less nervous, and it was clear she was putting on an act.

"Expel them, please, your highness." The five other girls had various reactions, all forced down and if glares could kill, Jingxian would succeed in her mission.

"Of course. Now, you six. Apologize." The King's tone was hard, and the girls shakily stood and moved to face you. They clearly didn't want to do what followed, but they had little choice. They fell slowly to their knees, and bowed low, foreheads on their hands pressed to the floor. You barely registered the clearly scripted words they spoke, and you turned to look over your shoulder at the princes. Your gaze first went to Yuta, and it was clear he had no idea that you knew everything. He gave you his classic smile, but it just pissed you off then. You then looked at Kun and he gave a subtle nod.

"Jinyu can go." You then noted and the King was curious why you only let her go, but he allowed it. He knew there was something unspoken since Jinyu seemed to sag in relief as she left.

"We'll tell them the rest, father. Would you mind leaving us to it?" Kun stepped forward and his father turned to look back at him. They exchanged something unspoken through their gaze.

"Very well." He nodded and he left along with the guards, who stayed stationed outside the door as it closed.

"Hiyomi?" Yuta stepped up closer, but you ignored him, going to where the girls had sat back down. The other Sakuras looked a bit more nervous, but Jingxian was steaming. All of her hard work over the years, desperate to get whatever wealth and power she could, gone. The sneer she shot you pissed you off, hand flying up without thought, smacking her hard enough to snap her head to the side. She just sat there, not looking back at you. Not sure what to say to them, you turned and looked at Kun who was in the same spot, a little behind his slightly older brother. A smug look fell on his face, and he stepped around the other prince, shedding his letterman-style jacket and laying it on the table. You wanted to swoon as he rolled the sleeves of his white button-up, so they bunched above his elbows. Paired with his watch and the ring he had on his index finger, it was so little, but so hot. Yuta must have noticed how your expression changed, recognized it even, but you knew it was different than anything you gave him.

Kun sidled up next to you and he raised a brow, silently asking if you were ready. You nodded so slightly, with a tiny hum and you gasped as his hand grabbed your chin. The move was a bit rough, but your gasp was of delight, not fear or shock. His eyes were still warm, and he had the sexy grin back, your thighs twitched along with your core.

"You know, it’s a shame that only Yuta could get a girl so good." His grip softened, and he cupped your jaw instead. The room was so quiet you could hear Jingxian's jaw clench and made her teeth grind against each other. Kun's face was so close to yours that you felt his breath on your lips.

"Kun, what are you-" Yuta started, coming closer.

"But it's also a shame that she got stuck with him." His tone was incredibly patronizing, derisive and you just took the chance to bask in his presence and attention as he pulled his phone back out, stepping back slightly. He still had the audio clip paused where he left it off before, and you saw then it was half-way through.

"At least you only have to deal with one guy. He also knows. I have to get it up for four other sluts I couldn't care less for."

 The four other Sakuras gasped, and your eyes flicked to look at Kun's phone, but his hand at your jaw turned you back to focus on him. It was hard to get mad with the following audio while looking over him, so close to you. You didn't even care to look and see what Yuta's expression was. He had frozen, just behind his half-brother, almost scared to move.

"Viagra?" "No, I just pretend they're Hiyomi. Hard to do though. Eiko's so fucking annoying and won't shut up. Sounds like a bad porno. Aikiro still doesn't know what the fuck she's doing even after training for a year and more. Yumi has no stamina and is selfish to boot. Keiho-"

Your eyes flicked to the phone again, waiting for him to finish. It seemed he paused to take a drink or something, because the audio kept progressing.

"Keiho is a fraud. She thinks I don't know that she goes to Ten's little orgies or whatever. I know she's slept with half of the guard too."

All the girls looked at Keiho then, her cheeks that were bright red with anger were now horribly pale.

"She acts like she wants stuff vanilla, loving. I know she can only get satisfied with two cocks in her."

Kun shut it off then, only a few seconds left but you had heard enough. How dare he criticize Keiho when he was the one that brought his friends in to fuck you at the same time? Did he think it would be flattering that he only thinks of you when he's with the others?

"Hiyomi-" Yuta tried to start, and you wanted to push around Kun, smack his stupid pretty face. But you trusted the other prince to come up with the best thing he could. He already tore down the girls, that much was obvious from their faces and the devastated looks they sent Yuta.

"Despite his supposed love for you, sweetheart, it’s a shame you don't feel the same." Since it wasn't directed at you, and it would still be incredibly hot if it was, the smug sadistic grin he had riled you up all the more. Kun hummed, prompting you to respond and he chuckled at the dazed look you had.

"No, I don't." It was like he was some kind of drug; your thoughts were foggy, and you needed more of him. He had taken out the girls, they looked like all the fight had been ripped from them, slumped on the couch. It had hit Yuta too, but not enough, not yet. Though, Kun needed to finish Jingxian first.

"Do you know how hard it was for me? From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. The only reason I was going to choose Jingxian was because I hate her. I couldn't live with myself if you weren't my wife, my princess, but I didn't want to hurt the other girls. They didn't deserve the hurt like her. She's a horrible human being and she seemed all the worse compared to you, (Y/N)." Hearing him say your real name again did it, you were head over heels in love with him and you thanked whatever higher being finally graced you with something good. All of the shit you had put up with came to the best moment of your life, knowing Kun wanted you just as badly as you wanted him. Even if you both knew it was crazy, even sick; at least you could be lovesick together. The final hit to the girls, hidden from Yuta since Kun blocked you from his sight, was the extremely gentle kiss he pressed to your forehead, followed by him gently brushing his nose over yours.

"Guards, take them to the police." The prince let your chin go, just enough so he could step back so as not to shout in your ear. The door opened and the suits came in, quite literally hauling the girls away, Jingxian now just as broken as the others.

"Only one left." You whispered when Kun came back to you. He shifted where you stood with a hand on your lower back, making you visible to Yuta then.

"Show him you're mine." He told you and it seemed your minds were linked. At graduation, each girl would kneel before the prince and swear their loyalty, almost like being coronated. You sank to your knees, but you looked up at him instead. The normally practiced display of reverence for a girl's monarch was corrupted by the desire you looked at him with, and he you. You were submitting to him as a man, not as a higher-up, nor a prince. He grinned when your hands gripped his belt, not moving to remove it, but the implication was clear-

"You fucker." Yuta shot forward, hand burying in Kun's shirt and yanking him away from you. You flinched back as Kun was pulled away and you quickly stood as the brothers stared each other down.

"You lost, Yuta. Move on, she's mine now. Ready to abdicate?" You flinched back with a gasp, hands covering your mouth as Yuta's fist moved toward his brother's face. Kun deftly moved his head the little bit he had to for the blow to miss.

"Wait!" You tried to weasel your way between them before the elder landed a punch on the younger. Even though they were the same height, Kun was bigger, Yuta had a hard time gaining any kind of bulk and he looked like a twig next to the other prince. While he wasn't the most muscular man you knew, he was outright perfect to you, and it was clear he was strong because Yuta barely budged him with his tug on his shirt, he moved with the pull. That was beside the point… You got back at Yuta, what happened was enough, you could tell by the hurt etched into his face. Your anger had immediately dissipated, a better solution hitting your mind. Neither of them knew you had heard the full conversation the day before, but that didn't change that you had.

"Don't abdicate. You already are losing your harem, but you told Kun to only have me, right?" Both men were clearly shocked that at your words and you took the chance to shove Yuta off, standing in front of Kun, clearly in a show of protection. Like you could really do anything…

"Y-yes." Your prince's voice was soft and rough. He didn't deserve how much you really wanted to wreck him. Your rationality had kicked in, logic taking over, he was already defeated.

"We’ll tell the press that the other four turned against me because I didn't want to be involved with you. Turn it on me. You take the three from Kun, and I go to him. You're second born, you can't just give up those rights-"

"(Y/N), I don't want to be a prince without you as my princess." Your chin quivered a bit at his tone, his eyes glassy.

"And I don't want to be a princess without Kun as my prince." You countered. You needed to break his heart for him to let you go. You didn’t turn to look at the other man even though Yuta's eyes flashed to look over your shoulder.

"Take the other three, add two more from wherever, do whatever. Wouldn't you rather move on and find someone else than love me and know I don't feel the same? If you love something let it go? Do you think I want to be restricted to you, when I love someone else?"

"You love him?" You didn't respond to his question. It wasn't the real definition of love, it wasn't that pure, but you had some twisted loyalty to Kun that you never did for Yuta.

"Do you love me?" You pushed back. You weren't sure, it seemed somewhat like you were a trophy, a luxury item that he might adore, but…

"You're supposed to be mine." He didn't answer the question. Not directly.

"You don't love me, I’m just your favorite. You liked that I didn't fight the other girls tooth and nail just to get your attention. You liked the challenge. If you really cared you would have told me all the shit that Jingxian did, and the others, I'm sure. You never even bothered to learn who I was, getting me pretty, girly things. You played up the romance but never did anything I liked with me. I might have been in your bed the most, but I wasn't in your heart."

"And you were in Kun's?" Yuta nearly spat, not trying to defend himself, because you were right.

"What's her favorite thing?" The man behind you cut in and you turned to look at him. You didn't answer, genuinely curious if Yuta knew, because he never acted on it…

"Books."

"Wrong. Space. She goes out at night to watch the stars. All her books are science-fiction. Her favorite sweatshirt is of the milky way and if there's ever a special event at the planetarium, she's there." How did he know all of that? The other prince was silent, clearly not sure what to do or say next. His eyes went back to you, and you couldn't meet his look, and stepped closer to Kun.

"Favorite animal?" Kun continued.

"Dogs-"

"Goats. She just can't have one as a pet, she asked. The keychain on her bag is a goat. So is the plushie she takes with her on out-of-country flights. She tells people she likes dogs because it's more accepted.”

"Her favorite color is dark purple because it looks like the night sky. She loves snow but hates rain. She's the only girl fluent in all four languages. She hates moths and loves fireflies." He kept going and you wondered how he knew all that. Though…it was all things that were more or less common knowledge, things your friends knew. It wasn't creepy, just observant, and it should be things Yuta knew. But, based on his face, he really didn't.

"He loves planes. He took lessons to learn to fly one. He loves cats but doesn't have one because Lumei is allergic. He wears a lot of black and white, but he always uses a blue pen because he likes blue too. He hates cold weather; he knows how to cook, and he even is scared of butterflies." You smiled softly, realizing all the things he knew about you, you pretty much knew about him as well. It was things you overheard while near him or figured out by watching him from afar. After an uncomfortable silence, you finally looked up to meet Yuta's gaze.

"I'll go talk to father. I'll… if you ever break her heart, I'll fucking kill you." The prince exhaled, seeming to get some kind of closure and he stepped closer, reaching for you. Midway though, his hand stopped, and his eyes flicked to the side, at your earrings.

"They're moons." He noticed.

"Yes." Your voice was quiet, and the prince dropped his hand, cast one more look to his brother, and left. Watching him go was…a relief. You thought you might feel something else, be a little sad, or hurt, but you just felt at ease. As you turned to face Kun once more, he was already there, his hands at your jaw and he pulled you to him, kissing you so hard your teeth clashed against his. The force of him pulling you into him knocked your hat off, falling to the floor. You whimpered, hands holding his wrists as you try to meet his fervor. Your butt hit the table when he turned you with his leg wedging between yours. One hand left your jaw to cup the back of your head, blunt nails scratching your scalp. The other hand found its way to your waist, then his arm snaked around your middle, helping you up to sit on the table. Kun finally pulled away, both of you panting and your dazed eyes met his sharp ones.

"Fuck." He sighed, leaning forward and resting his forehead on your shoulder. His hands rested on the table, holding him up so he didn't rest his full weight on you, and he stood there for a while. You pressed your cheek to his soft hair, basking in him finally being so close to you. Slowly, you brought your arms up, shaking, and wrapped them around his shoulders. The hug was quickly returned, Kun enveloping you back, and you pressed your face into his chest. With your ear over his heart, you closed your eyes, listening to it beat, soaking in the scent of his cologne. Neither of you really wanted to pull back, but never-the-less did so. He took your hands in his, bringing them up so he could kiss them.

"I need to talk to father as well, sweetheart," his hand cupped your cheek, thumb rubbing your soft skin, "wait for me."

Due to formalities and legalities, you weren't Kun's right away. Because of all the rules, you both were moved into a guest house more or less, still on the royal campus, but not one of the official palaces. You had to wait for nearly a week as the ministers convened, trying to figure out what the hell to do. Taeyong remained the heir and was the only one that kept the harem as promised. Yuta didn't abdicate, but he didn't rebuild his harem either. He ended up moving to Japan then, becoming the ambassador for that part of the empire. Kun adopted most of his roles and rights, and it was well received by the public that he wanted to marry for love instead. He wasn't the heir, so the ministers didn't mind too much. Ten had some of his privileges revoked when it was revealed how debaucherously he was living, but he didn't mind. Doyoung too gave up his harem, minus Gyuri. A lot of things changed fast, but it was welcome. Finally, once everything was official, you stood in the middle of the foyer of your new home, watching people mill about as they moved the final things in. Looking around, you startled when someone snuck up behind you, hugging you.

"It's done, sweetheart." Kun nuzzled behind your ear, and you bit your lip, giggling.

"Once everyone leaves, I'm going to take you, since your mine now."

Part 2: Up Close (Smut)

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

[askfallenroyalty]

So I just kind of wanted to confirm something.

Undyne didn't kill any of the humans before frisk fell in your au right?

Sometimes, I see interpretations where undyne killed one or two of the kids before they made it to asgore and is shown to regret it in their post pacifist aus, and it's just something I find really unbelievable of her to do.

// well, people are allowed to interpret canon and make headcanons if they wanted to

// but it is absolutely not the case in canon. It's very clear Undyne has never killed a human before and that's the dilemma she's facing. The whole point of Undyne's character arc is that she wants to be like Asgore and be a hero and destroy humanity. She's fully indoctrinated into Asgore's revenge ideology. She has a huge heart but its in the wrong place.

You remind her of Papyrus and Asgore. A pair of softies, who don't actually wish harm on anyone. Undyne has trouble grappling with this, because she was taught that humans are why they're trapped and that they need to die for their freedom. That it's justice. Look how heartbroken Asgore is after what humans have done to him.

But then why does it feel bad when she knocked him down and won? Why does victory feel hollow when it should be great? Why does this kid, this dumb human kid who has no right to be so innocent and pacifist? Why does... she not want to win?

Idk I feel people see that scene with Undyne and read it very surface level of "oh haha Papyrus and Asgore are whimps" and miss the context that both are tough, strong characters capable of defeating people in battle but have zero desire to do so. They're a pack of strong and heroic people who can't fall into the lie that Undyne has believed. Undyne's character arc was that she knew she was wrong but didn't know how to process it until you proved to her that maybe-!

maybe true strength isn't in overcoming your enemies but in surviving and choosing not to harm others. A victory based in violence to someone you don't truly want to hurt is never a true victory.

the emotional crux of this is that we now have a new lens to frame Asgore with. We see Undyne's dilemma of choosing Mercy and we know that's what Asgore wants before we even meet him. We know he does not want us dead but feels obligated to. It's an important setup for the (false) climax of the game.

Anyway, analysis and rant aside as much as it annoys me when people ignore canon, they're still allowed to make new lore and engage with the story they want to. Toby's writing is very thick in themes, characterization and meaning. But it's also not the most blunt about details, so its easy to miss or misunderstand on key characterization bits. So I'm not mad if someone thinks Undyne could of been a killer in the past.

If someone finds that plotline engaging, trying to apply the broader themes of mercy and moving on and applying that to Undyne, while misunderstanding a part of her character because they missed this subtle context, that's not so bad! Who am I to say that's wrong? I don't agree with it and I don't really want to engage with that conflict cause I'm a canon-strickler and I personally don't like the idea of Undyne being a killer when her arc is about not becoming one. But alas, its like, fine. I'll stick to my own lane, you know?

[lizaluvsthis]

what is good about cnb? i see lots of a art thought i ask creator

Oh my- looks like we pulled a new curious person off the peeps!

(CnB) Coffee N' Bombs - Brewing Romance AU is an inspiration from the first full episode in the SMG4 Channel called "SMG4: SMG3'S BOMB CAFE"

I really liked the whole model and details from the inside and outside of Three's new Cafe and at first I've been picturing about Smg4 working there- but nahh he just worked there once its not like theres gonna be an au abou-

I came in tumblr a few months back and some anon asked me what kind of design SMG4's attire would be since he works as a waitress from Three's coffee n bombs.

For a second my mind went blank of what the uniform would look like so- I gave myself on and on about some few details getting inspired by watching some other episodes of SMG4's

So then- I made the hat and I thought of something that reminded me about- a reversible color!

(A few years back I bought this octopus which was cute and then I figured it was reversible by looking underneath and putting the detail here- I was like- ah Liz you're gonna make it look so special!)

Straight in to detail that the fabric used from this hat is silk, with polkadots! And it was made by Three :>

For the pride pins I also thought of- "hey- this is a crazy idea but what if I also created a pride pin next to his apron. But instead it's a bomb than just a regular circular pin." Then there represents Four having the bi bomb flag :)

The Apron is specifically made by me on which where its all gotta be purple themed since it is his cafe and everything is purple and purple to a color black!

For the shoes tho- I might've gave myself a try to say it's one of those glow in the dark classic shoes- glow in the dark has been my favorite types of stuff to look on or even paint, the nostalgic vibe of being a small kid having fun observing and using glow in the dark (bracelets) for example- is like a funny thing and a classic thing to have.

Then that calls for it. "Heck why not?"

Theres the bomb logo and also the spilled coffee logo, it was designed by our man Three to himself.

It feels sort of childish to put in when four complains about glow in the dark having it as a childish thing- good thing three back fires in about his shoes having wheels XD (it might seem to be for kids but its all for ages and above ^^)

The gloves were designed for funziez and making it feels like getting sent back on the themed black and white (sia or melanie martinez the hair color or if you fancy it enough going back to the earliest movies that has black and white colors)

Even putting on a aymbol of "S.U.L." on the back of the gloves and Four's "IV" roman numeral signature on the palm of his gloves.

And even for the tiniest detail from his hairtie having the color of red and his slit pants on the ends. (Also including the part of the three-beaned pin that only four made it special for him and three only)

Lets put up the post!

This inspired so much from the design that my followers or other people had want to try it out!

Then coming upon the reply from @shygirl4991 therefore the AU was born/created, they thought about wanting to write about this cafe au and I let them in for ideas and for writing the fic. :D

I pulled out a new attire for Three's outfit (ngl he looks like purp-

And now there is- the release of the first chapter-

Before the first chapter- Shay gave it a title of "Brewing Romance" since its a silly fic for these two gay boys working together on the cafe :>

Again I'm only an artist who does doodles or design stuff the real person who created this is @shygirl4991 by mentioning it as "Cafe AU" thats where it's been born :)

CnB Brewing Romance AU is a fun space for our two fruits getting together and such ^^ this AU is made for fun relating to also the cafe shop itself.

(We'd also like to thank you for all of the artists who made those lovely fanarts <3)

To the point where I accidentally created a meme out of the two.

Man behind the coffee/memes (slaughter) as smg3

And the Fish Flounder as Smg4

If people would like to put their ocs there for fun you can make art out of it.

(Shoot I'm making it longer- AHHGGR)

Whats cnb br au?

Its a silly au me and shay made and made it alive for the shippers

Whats good about it?

The two gay boys

The designed details from their attires

Karen.

Bringing from the fic for angst/fluff

Whose Idea was the fic?

All on for Shay ^^

Who created it?

I did the design mostly people thought it was all on me but its shay's :)

When is the date of creation?

December 9, 2023

Can we make fanarts out of it?

Yes you can by mentioning/tagging me and @shygirl4991

Whats in it for this au?

Me and Shay collaborated this

These two boys

The whole ass journey and coming into developments

Karen?

Yes. She works here :) design of hers will come out soon tho.

What about the other characters like Mario?

Oh they will come out- as side characters only :>

Where does this AU focus on?

Dealing with trauma

Four getting a job since he's broke af

The past memories

Development - Chemistry

Changing.

How does putting our ocs in the au work?

You can put your oc for ex. Ordering, chilling on le table, sipping your coffee, idk pay for those bombs(?), commit arso-, selfie on yourself (if you have any other ocs you'd want to add- you can), pride bombs, make yourself as an employee i guess? All whatever your choices.

Except-

NSFW - GENERAL S3XU4LIZING

Oc x canon is allowed now yay

Spaghetti. Spaghetti is not available in a coffee shop.

Does this au contain with the canon events/arc?

It has the arc and event but it contains non-canon creation. Due to some remake of the scenes.

Did luke approved of this?/j

Not yet :)

I'm not even sure if he uses tumblr atp

Do you have any other works of yours and shay about this au?

I am planning on making a side fic that'll come out very soon

Theres a quick doodle/sketch about it

Some personal diary or info Three picks up (including sticky notes)

Shay is still working and doing their best for the future chapters 'u'

‽

What happens in the future chapter?

You'll have to wait and see. (Again I keep getting this even relating about zero that is a spoiler I'm not trying to be like gooseworx here pls stop-)

Wait what memes are you talking about?

Fnaf for Man behind the slaughter but instead it's SMG3 being the one whose purple guy and is called Man Behind The Coffee

Flounder from Ariel whose a fish and Four looked like one because of his ponytail looking like the fish's tail

What orders do they have in there?

Coffee:

Normal Coffee

Special White Mocha

Matcha Gun Powder Latte

Soy Boy Flat White

Al Pacino

Wake me up before you cocoaf

Morning Brown

Cyanide Supreme Latte

Titanium Black (trust me you don't want to try this)

café minuit (midnight)

Bombs:

Tsar Bomba

Hydrogen bomb

Fat man

Little Boy

Refined uranium

Saturnist Capurn

NUKE CHONK (DONT-)

Displays/Collections/Accessories:

Eggdog plush

Smg3 mugs

Pride Bombs

Stickers

A button. (Do it at your own risk)

Foodies/Food/Snacks:

Non-Donut (its invisible but more of an air food)

Gun powdered donut (white or brown)

Shinkled donut

Pieced- cake

Chompstick (chocolate stick)

Breed Bread (it has raisins)

KWASON (croissant)

Waffu Daffus (waffles)

DEADLY DUNGLE (its a spiciest donut I warned you.)

Nomul Chaki (a "normal" chocolate...)

Whats something that was mentioned from the design?

Terrance.

Did you plan on making this au?

Nope but for some reason we're here thanks to my artwork and shay :DD

Does PuzzleVision or TV Adware exist in this?

No.

Will the side characters make an appearance?

...

Is it true that Karen and Meggy both gossip about the boys?

Yep- kinda hilarious now that Karen's here, she observes.

Where'd you get that idea about Karen and Meggy?

@anartisticalniche

Where can I see the fanarts section?

In my Introduction Page :)

Why don't you post this to twitter?

Twitter is for talking/rants

Tumblr is to share the post you want to share.

Plus twitter for me is a "not-safe-app" regardless on people sending death threats and doxxing. (Even elon musk.)

I'm not tryna reach out for Luke's attention when it comes to CnB I just did this for fun :3

Are you still hyped that they're still making the cafe shop's appearance?

Yes. You have NO idea.

How do you and shay feel about it?

Very- super- brain- storming ideas on the gays and the plots also the notes- we love this progress ^^

The gayness/fruitiness of these two

Will you and Shay be planning on something more than just CnB?

Shh-

Funny to ask but how old are you while collaborating this work?

I'm a minor-

Don't you find it weird to be friends with adults? Or having them as your fans?

(I get these asks alot) my final answer is no.

There are some other adults who are predators out there but not in my sight. I keep a closer eye on that. And I don't allow pedos or groomers here.

I don't really see what the problem is about when an adult likes a minor's work. It's artwork and most of ems crave for the ship and the ship itself its basically a free fun type for people who likes it. (Age regressor say no more cuz its all free to have fun here)

I have no idea why I made this too long but please carry on your glasses people-

[forest-of-stories]

Throwback Thursday, Fandom Edition: Sidetrasked

This is a collection of Silver Age X-Men comics that I’ve now owned for over two decades, and brought to Fan Expo Boston (then Boston Comic Con) in August 2014, hoping that artist Neal Adams would sign it.  

And this is the reason why.

When I tell people about Larry Trask today, I sometimes refer to him as "Blorbo From My Comics."  He is one of my favorite villains in the X-Men universe, and, at least for a time, was one of my favorite characters overall.  He also, at least for a time, embodied the anti-mutant bigotry that has been part of that universe almost since its beginning.  I want to avoid going on a tangent about the morality of villain fandom, and I resent the social obligation to attach an "I Hereby Acknowledge That My Fave Is Problematic" disclaimer to an exploration of how and why I liked a fictional character, but I also want to give people who don’t want to engage with any kind of love for such characters a chance to stop reading.  If you’re not inclined toward sympathy for an antagonist who makes terrible, destructive choices based on a lack of information and for what he thinks are the right reasons, and later has a tragic and redemptive ending (which might not actually be an ending; more on that further on) once he realizes what is going on, then this is not the character or the post for you.  And that’s fine.

Otherwise, I hope you're interested in reading a pretty long post.

Bolivar Trask, who originally created the giant mutant-hunting Sentinel robots, appears in almost every media adaptation of the X-Men.  What none of those adaptations have shown thus far is that both of his children were mutants.  Tanya’s time-travel abilities eventually stranded her in the far future, where she became known as Madame Sanctity and entangled with the extremely convoluted Summers family tree.  Her brother Larry could see the future, but their father created a very ostentatious Silver Age medallion that suppressed Larry’s powers and scrambled his memories so that he didn’t even know he had them.  When Bolivar was killed in a battle between the X-Men and the Sentinels, Larry blamed mutants everywhere, not realizing that he was one at first, and made the extremely smart and good decision (she said sarcastically) to create a bunch of new giant robots.  

I first read those comics in the early 2000s, when I was already drawn to characters who couldn’t trust their own memories, and to stories in which parents or authority figures manipulated or outright mind-controlled the young people in their care.   So the Trask family backstory appealed to me immediately, especially when I read a flashback issue that explored it in more detail.  

I was fascinated by the dramatic irony of a villain who trusted, adored, and committed atrocities to avenge, a father who continuously deceived and gaslit him "for his own good" (and also for the good of their giant robot plans).  I knew that there was a lot of material for fanfic in there, one way or another.

At the time, a couple of other significant things were happening in my fannish life.  Firstly, I was working on the Wallglass series, aka the Writing Project That Ate My Adolescence, in which a lot of my creative choices amounted to "let’s throw in this ingredient and see what happens." My decision to include Larry, not as a villain but as an ordinary teenager and love interest for one of my original characters, was no exception.  Although I eventually incorporated his precognitive powers into the story, that wasn’t necessarily the plan at first.  (X-Men: Evolution, the canon in which my big project nominally took place, did introduce the Sentinels, albeit in a different context than the one I chose.  I was already writing an AU simply by virtue of my OCs’ presence, but past a certain point, I diverged from continuity completely. One of my biggest regrets, of the many regrets that I have about that project, was not making Larry an active antagonist in the final installment of my series.)

As in canon, Bolivar Trask plotted to block his son’s mutant powers and memories of same, but unlike in canon, he outsourced the actual mental meddling.

The second important thing that happened during this time was that I started communicating regularly with the author of one of my favorite XME fanfics, which featured our OTP of Lance and Kitty.  She was reading my fic as I was reading hers, and at some point, we moved on from leaving each other comments (or “reviews” as we called them on fanfiction.net) to exchanging emails about our writing projects, our feelings about the current season of XME, and other things that were close to our fannish hearts.  We subsequently friended each other on LiveJournal, and later Facebook, and have mailed each other gifts and attended a convention together and remained friends to this day.

Back then, as she got to know my version of Larry Trask, I encouraged her to seek out the comics in which he first appeared.  Although he wasn’t the catalyst for our friendship, he did become another one of our shared obsessions, fueled in part by my personal conviction that we were The Fans Who Understood And Cared About Him The Most.  We informed each other whenever we caught a glimpse of Larry in comics or in fic; we once stayed up past midnight, chatting online about the issues of Avengers in which he sacrificed his life to stop the Sentinels from destroying humanity; and we devoted many, many more email and IM exchanges to discussing his narrative potential (which we recognized even if the people writing and adapting the comics apparently didn’t) and how else we might explore it in our own writing. 

My attempts to do just that, post-Wallglass, mostly amounted to scribbled drafts or outlines in various notebooks.

Sometimes I tried to explore Larry’s upbringing or the period in his life after his Sentinel project fell apart and he was dealing with more amnesia and more lies from someone he trusted; sometimes I made overly ambitious plans to integrate him into the Ultimate universe or back into XME. 

Trying to write about Larry was often as frustrating as it was fun: as one of the Fans Who Understood Him The Most (which is how I wanted desperately to be known, even as I was thrilled every time another writer, including a BNF in the X-Men movie fandom, included him in their fic), I felt obligated to Do Him Justice somehow, and was unreasonably frustrated with myself when I didn't feel like I'd managed to do so.

The term “Blorbo” didn’t exist when I wrote those entries, and I kind of wish it had; the fact that I was throwing around phrases like “fictional preoccupations” shows how much we needed a word that meant, roughly, “character with whom I am obsessed even if I don't have a crush on them, or am not sure whether I do or not.” If nothing else, using a silly nonsense word might have helped me take my creative angst a little less seriously.

Although I haven’t followed the comic books in years, X-Men is one of my forever fandoms. And although my attachment to Larry Trask, Blorbo From My Comics, became less pronounced over time (which is probably a good thing), I don’t think I’ve ever detached from it completely.  I haven't wanted to write fic about him in a very long time, but when a podcast (like Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men or Graymalkin Lane) mentions him, or when blogs like @summerstrash post about him, I always sit up and take notice.  And when I met Neal Adams at that Fan Expo ten years ago, I made sure to tell him how much I loved the character he’d helped to create.  He signed my book, as well as one that I bought for my longtime fandom friend.  When I learned that Adams passed away in 2022, I was immeasurably grateful for that experience, and I still am.

And now, based upon recent comics news, it turns out that Larry’s story isn’t over after all.

[harmonysanreads]

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WHAT I WILL WRITE

Yandere

Character Studies

Dark Content (Sans the topics listed in the next category)

Reader Insert

Female/Gender Neutral Reader

Oneshots/Scenarios/Headcannons/Interactions

Fluff/Comfort

Hurt/Comfort

Pregnancy/Baby-trapping

Reader with a certain personality trait (e.g. shy, snarky)

WHAT I WILL NOT WRITE

Suicide (The act in vivid detail)

Male Reader

Explicit NSFW (Vague implications are fine though.)

Religious themes

Cult stuff

Omegaverse

Hybrid AUs

Character x OC

Character x Character (Ships)

Underage

Incest/Stepcest

Reader with specific physical traits (Height, skin color etc)

Yandere Reader

THINGS IN CONSIDERATION

Poly relationships (Skeptical, but I'll do it if the concept is interesting enough.)

CHARACTERS I WRITE FOR

(The names in bold signify characters that I'm most interested in writing. The names in purple signify characters that I really love.)

⚝彡 GENSHIN IMPACT

↬al haitham, scaramouche/wanderer, lyney, kamisato ayato, shikanoin heizou, kaedehara kazuha, tighnari, aether, venti, dainsleif, pantalone, diluc, cyno, zhongli, il dottore, kaveh, neuvillette, wriothesley, sethos, il capitano

⚝彡HONKAI STAR RAIL

↬blade, dan heng, dr ratio, aventurine, sunday, argenti, moze, jiaoqiu

ADDITIONAL NOTES

↬ Please be kind and patient with me, as I'm (unfortunately) quite the perfectionist, it takes time for me to post since I want to make sure I'm satisfied with what I've written first :(

↬Please send all requests via my ask box, not my dms.

↬Please refrain from sending personal rants, although I explore many psychological themes, I'm by no means qualified to deal with serious issues. It's most productive if you contact someone trustworthy/professional instead.

↬ Please specify if you want the writing to be non-yandere, otherwise I'll automatically assume Yandere since this blog focuses on that.

↬ Anonymous asks detailing not-sfw themes will not be answered.

↬ Do remember that I have every right to reject/ignore a certain request/ask if it discomforts me, violates the rules or simply doesn't interest me at the moment. Though, I'll try my best to answer everything :)

↬ Please do not send requests for sequels to my oneshots like A Funerary Smile . But, I may consider a sequel request if it's a character I really love/if you can follow up with some suggestions/ideas for said sequel.

↬ Lastly, please don't hesitate to send in an ask now, part of why I decided to open them was because I wanted to connect with my readers and fellow writing blogs! We're all simps who just want to indulge a little, so there really is nothing to be afraid of <3

[twilight-deviant]

Fisk in Echo

Wanted to make a long post detailing my personal thoughts on Fisk's representation in the Echo series. I won't comment a lot on the series as a whole. It was good. Not gonna call it my new favorite show or say it breathed new life into an MCU that seems like it wants to die. But a good watch. Even if I did hope it would break more of the MCU mold with its MA rating.

But Fisk! Put Vincent D'Onofrio's Wilson Grant Fisk on my screen, and I'm there, bells on.

This is just... a dumb long post I had to write for me. You can read it or parts of it if you want.

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1x01

Willie on Willie Violence

They're never gonna tells us why MCU Fisk had Ronin kill Maya's dad. Stop asking. They're not gonna say. No, they're not gonna tell us why Clint did what Fisk asked either. I said stop asking.

They really reduced what could have been an important relationship between Fisk and Willie into literally nothing. Per the comics, he was Fisk's first friend ever, his enforcer. Nothing? NOTHING?! Also they changed his last name from Lincoln to Lopez. (Apparently, heroes can only be born from a married, two-parent household? Didn't know the MCU was Catholic.) "How much agency can you remove from one man?" MCU asks and answers.

I'm not saying the comics knock it out of the park with motive. The reason Fisk kills him is still vague. (Meaning the MCU had the chance to pick up the slack but just left it there.) Vague is still better than ignoring it entirely.

I assume comic Fisk was betrayed by him in some way. And while it doesn't take much provocation for him to kill his employees, I like to assume the motive was a little more substantial for a friend.

This is why these series need to be treated like television (instead of long movies) and given more than a handful of episodes.

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Maya vs Daredevil

A pretty good fight scene, definitely. Even if it is intercut with special effects instead of practical effects. I've seen people make that complaint, and it's valid. I can't decide if the inclusion of a fight between them is meant to be a bone thrown to Daredevil fans, a nod to their fight in the DD comics with Echo's origin, or both. 🤔 But since this is a post about Fisk and I'm a Fisk/Matt shipper, moving on.

Ehehehehehehe~ 😈

"None of my men have ever held their own with him like that. You did better than even I expected."

So... in preparation for DD: Born Again, I have been (and honestly, still am) unsure of where the canon will be coming from. Disney recently pushed the Netflix-verse as legitimate, but I know it has to have a point where that will break off. There's no way it can be a 1:1 continuation. So while we can be a little more bold injecting DD canon into the MCU, I'm not getting carried away yet.

Anyway, the uncertainty of Born Again has made my shipper heart wonder where/when Fisk and Matt's relationship will be. Until Echo, I questioned if it would be scorched earth, start all over, meet for the first time again. But Fisk's line establishes he is at least aware of Daredevil. They have some form of history. I'm interested and anxiously waiting for specifics to unfold. ✪ω✪

In the meantime, it's nice having confirmation that both Fisk and Matt survived Thanos's Snap and existed in those 5 years. 😈 Not only does that play into the hand of my current fanfic, it doesn't outright contradict it either. In fact, it's kind of fun imagining an AU where Matt works with Fisk and then laying it over this Echo scene. Daredevil just so happens to be at a location stalking Fisk's competition? On the same night Fisk sends in his daughter*? Hm. Suspect. Certainly he's not ensuring her safety by sending no-kill boy. 🤔🧐 Ignore me. I'm making an AU of my AU over here. 😂

*[I actually have a hard time letting go of Fisk's role as an adoptive father in the comics versus "uncle" in the shows. I can't let this go. Maybe even... won't let this go?]

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1x04

2008

So here's a very small nod that even I missed at first. In Maya's 2007 past (in Hawkeye and Echo), she is attending a regular, non-deaf school. Her dad says it's because they can't afford better. (Surely there are programs with grants? Whatever.) Now cut to 2008. Fisk picks her up from school, showing that she is on his radar and he is taking a more active role in her life. A testament to that? Maya is now wearing the uniform (with crest) of a private school.

Fisk isn't the best at love, and there's no denying that. (Look at Richard's life.) But it also can't be denied that he immediately took an interest in Maya and improving her situation. He loves in his own way.

-

Anyway... so this scene confirmed with its "2008" that Fisk has been active in New York for yeeeears. Literally since the beginning of the MCU itself. I won't say it changes a lot since DD 1x01 mentions the Chitauri Invasion of 2012 and how Fisk grew parts of his empire with construction companies rebuilding from it. But confirmation is nice, ya know. And it shows that even though Fisk's name was unspoken in 2015, he had already been in some form of power for at least 7 years.

-

And then, of course, the whole "beat up the ice cream man" thing. 🍿 I mean, again, Fisk's methods are not always right, but he will protect those he cares about and punish those who hurt them. And he will be excessive about it. RIP Anatoly. 💐

I see people, even writers, make excuses for Maya's action in this scene, for kicking the man. "Children watch and copy everything." Sometimes, yes, but children know the difference between right and wrong. Children don't just mimic bad actions. What I'm saying is I'm not going to pretend Maya didn't have a touch of dark side in her with or without Fisk.

There's no denying she is much darker and more ruthless than her comic counterpart. My mouth was quite agape to see her hurt the woodpecker and then lie about it. (There's a certain classification of people who hurt animals as children. 🤔) Not even Fisk was prepared for that part of her. Calling for another jacket, telling her not to be afraid. He thought of how other children would react and got it wrong. He wasn't wrong to think she would have an aptitude for bloodshed in her adult life.

I love Fisk calling her out in this episode, that she always knew what he was and that she killed for him without compunction. There was no remorse in the flashbacks. Per Fisk's own words: "You knew what you were part of at every turn. All the people you killed for me, did you plead for their lives?" There was no disgust towards Fisk until she found out he had her father killed. One of the (I think) producers of the show says he considers Maya a villain. Aight. I think she's more of an anti-hero now, but I wouldn't call MCU Maya an outright hero, I don't think. Remains to be seen what she does with herself.

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2021

Me watching the interpreter taken away: "Not the plastic hallway!" 🙈😂

DD S3 Fisk really found an MO he could live with. lol. No one else can but...

This old man is adorable wanting to have weekly dinners with his daughter. (✿◠‿◠) You definitely leave a girl wondering where Vanessa (even a recast Vanessa) is, but okay. Now invite your other three kids on Sunday. Pfft.

I can't believe the MCU made Fisk switch out his beloved Bach for Schubert's Ständchen. 🤣🎧 (That's okay. I actually like it more. Shh.)

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The Man in Red

Is it such a silly stupid thing for me to grin about the fact that the first time we "officially" see Fisk in the series, he is wearing red? Yes it is silly and stupid. Imma grin anyway. 🙃

Sir, that is... that is Daredevil's color. Sir. Sir! 😆 (Fisk said, "Daredevil wore white in the comics. Something must be done.")

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Fisk Not Learning ASL

Okay so...

I think this is one of my two big sticking points in Echo's writing for him. I've already ranted to my friend about it over several texts. Fisk spoke more sign language in Hawkeye than he did in this series, and it's not like the why is some big mystery. It's sloppy writing, right? Right. It's a shortcut to contrast Maya's family in Fisk versus her biological family. Writers were like, "What's a quick, easy way we can show Maya's family does care for her more than Fisk even though they abandoned her after her mother and father died and offer nothing for it but an, 'I'm sorry'? Ooh, I know!"

Chula hated Willie enough to blame him for Taloa's death and cast him out at the cost of losing her granddaughter. "I'm sorry." Henry left her in NYC after Willie was killed, even knowing he was leaving her with Fisk. "I'm sorry." But everyone still speaks fluent sign language after 20 years, so they're better than Fisk. Did you get that? We want to make it very, very clear so you get that. 🙄

I have trouble conveying my frustration with this writing choice in words. At the very least, it's "tell, don't show." I don't need it spelled out that ordinary people are better than a serial murder crime boss. Neon sign flashing "Duh!" No one needed that spelled out!

And It was bad enough how blatant they were being, okay, but when they had Maya mention it outright at the end, word-for-word conclusion, oof. It's so... novice league. I almost get secondhand embarrassment from their ham-fisted delivery. Geez.

This man speaks Mandarin, Japanese, and some Spanish. For personal interest. He could learn ASL. You can believe the absolute worst in him and still believe he'd learn it as a method of manipulation, to make Maya think he cared. You actually have a larger burden of proof coming up with any reason why he wouldn't learn. "He doesn't care enough about her." Where's that judging cat picture saying "Pathetic"? I mean, I can sit here all day pointing over and over again at the fact he spoke more ASL in Hawkeye. So he... regressed... between series because he cares... less for her now?

Wait... he suffered a gunshot to the head. You don't think... *gasp* Maya hit the exact spot of his brain that held sign language? It's all coming together.

Uuuuuuuuuuuugh. We all have those bad writing moments we just ignore, and this is one of mine. Echo wanted a villain but they were too afraid of humanizing the one they yoinked from Daredevil. Get on their level, you cowards.

No one will ever touch your perfection, DD S1, my beloved.

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Sunday Thursday Dinner

Do not let this man into your home. 🚫 He will look at your family photos and identify all of your weak spots.

jk I do very much enjoy Fisk's wide wandering eyes as he walks around the house, observing. It's so good. It reminds me (if anyone else knows the overlap here) of Vincent's character in Law & Order: Criminal Intent. Goren goes into a room and immediately studies any picture or book or object he can, learning everything about a person. It's exactly what Fisk was doing here, even if for reasons less than wholesome. I love when you can see the wheels turning in a character's brain.

I can appreciate a subtle flipping of authority between dinners. Fisk at the head of the table with Maya to his right and then the reverse of that. Nice.

Before this, if you said, "Yeah, I think Wilson Fisk would have a floral print picnic basket," you were LYING! No one could have predicted this bag. No one! You might counter with, "Yeah, but he didn't pick it out. A goon just put everything in there and handed it to him." Would you do that? Would you risk your life handing the Kingpin of all crime up the east coast a floral bag? You are so brave. You will be missed.

-

So there actually are a few bits of the show that make me think, "Okay, maybe Echo writers did watch Daredevil." It's The Little Things (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ When he brought wine, then Maya poured it out and he asked, "What happened to the Lafite?" I was ready to go "Rawr nooo. Fisk's character is supposed to be almost wine illiterate as a nod to his poor, uncultured origin." But wow, they saved it with his very next line being, "It came highly recommended." Okay, Echo. Echo, okay. For this, you get a point.

-

Handing the knife to Maya, so... mwah. 💋 It's arrogant, sure, and I'd be lying to say I hated that. But more than that, Fisk really is good at reading and predicting people. Forget muscle strength, THAT is his greatest asset. And he's not wrong. Maya doesn't (then or later) hurt or try to kill him again. He knows what it's like to let emotion take hold in the moment. That's why he understands and dismisses Maya shooting him. But he also knows she has a clearer head now. He feels no danger from her, knows she doesn't really want him dead. And he's right.

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Casino

"I can't remember a time... when I haven't loved you like a daughter."

I'm glad someone finally said it. Boo on the uncle/niece bit. Not to mention how many motifs of this series hit better and harder with a father/daughter relationship. Tsk tsk.

-

An interesting exchange here...

Maya: "You isolated me. Told me you were the only one I could trust. But it was all a lie. Even with these contacts, you got them because you didn't care enough to learn to sign." Fisk: "I was there for you!"

✨He is not wrong.✨ Obligatory groan at the ASL mention and... He's not wrong. Like I mentioned earlier, Maya's family abandoned her. Literally the only person who tried to keep up with her was Bonnie (angel), and Maya shunned her. (Which wasn't Fisk's influence because we see her ignoring Bonnie's texts before Fisk had a hand in swaying her one way or the other.) Maya was isolated because her family abandoned her or she cut them off. And Fisk. was. there. for. her. Without him, she seemed intent on ruining her life and getting arrested.

Granted, you'd be justified saying she wouldn't have been in that particular spiral without Fisk killing her father. (Too bad we'll never know why he did it.) But Willie could have died in a manner completely unrelated to Fisk, and her family would have reacted in the same way, not reaching out or being ignored when they do. Do you see what I'm saying? Fisk legitimately was the only person in Maya's life besides her father.

-

I think about... the people Fisk has told the story of his father's death to, speaking as if this is a true continuation of Daredevil. That would be Wesley (not shown but a given). Vanessa when he wants her to understand him and his past. And Dex, as he pulls the man back from the brink in an effort to make Dex see their similarity and how no one else could understand him like Fisk. (Other people know about it, of course, but I'm concerned with those whom he trusted to tell.)

It seems like the motivation swings between intimate trust and manipulation. Or it could be both with Dex. Honestly, who can read Fisk's mind with absolute clarity? Either way, it's a very small group. It's not insignificant that he tells Maya.

-

Love Fisk doubling down on "Maya won't kill me." Tripling down? First the knife. Then leaving himself completely unguarded with the door open while she has a gun. Then giving her the hammer and daring her. It feels less arrogant than with the knife though. He still knows she won't kill him, but it also feels less... certain here. But I like him using it as a challenge, as a "Now or never." Kill him already, or stop threatening it every five minutes. Very Fisk of him. 👌

I can't... articulate what his choice of words means to me, but they clutch at my chest as he says, "Free me!" Killing him will not only free Maya to move forward in her life, it will free him. Babygirl, how much do you hate this life you're in? ಥ_ಥ

I think I need to make another Daredevil/Echo gifset. With Fisk here saying, "Free me!" against him daring Matt in 3x13, "Come on, kill me!" (Wilson, do we need to put you on a watch?)

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The Little Things (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I like confirmation that Fisk has a jet in the MCU. There's tiny mention of it in Daredevil 1x11. I want to see the jet. Yes, thank you. I don't know what I'll do with this, but I like having it.

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1x05

Post Office

I'm sooooooooo normal about that old man. Really I am.

I like this scene. No real reason. But it is nice to watch socially handicapped Wilson try and conduct conversation like a normal person. Helping Chula pick up the mail.

I am VERY interested in a blink-and-you-miss-it line from him here. After Chula mentions losing her daughter.

"Yes, I've lost someone who I loved. It's the kind of pain you never quite get over."

*whom

I am gnawing at my keyboard. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! Is it referencing something we should already know? Is it a nod to something yet to come, something Born Again will expand on? Is he just talking about how he "lost" Maya? Is it about his father? Is Vanessa dead in this universe??? What does it meeeeeeean?!?!?!?!

["Tell me!" Loki gif]

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Attempted Murder Spree

My second big beef.

I'm not gonna argue whether Fisk would kill people unconnected to his criminal underworld in order to hurt the ones that are. No, I think they got that part pretty accurate. Evidence abounds in comics and Netflix-verse. If he wants to kill Chula and Bonnie to punish Maya, I'd only ask why he didn't go ahead and round up Henry. This plan totally plays. (Actually, if we used only existing Hawkeye content for this MCU Fisk, it would be... less likely. He didn't threaten or go after Kate at all to get at Eleanor.)

What I find ridiculous is the notion he would attempt a massacre of the entire festival. Uh... what? Someone find me a single instance (comic or screen) where Fisk attempts such widespread death and destruction of innocents. By that, I mean with innocents as the intended target and not collateral damage.

When he bombed the Russians in DD 1x05, people were hurt, but from fallout, not intent. Though there are injuries, I'm trying to think if we get more than one confirmation of death. I don't doubt there may have been more, but... And you may want to point at the attack on The Bulletin, but, though terrifying, only three people died. And I'd posit the extra two were most likely to obfuscate that Jasper Evans was the real target. Unless we want to say Bullseye (Bulls-eye) missed a dozen times.

Anyway, I think this over-the-top plot point is us witnessing an MCU-ification of Fisk. Something they need to quash NOW. It's like... gah, they admit they want his character and want him to be a smaller scale villain, a "street-level Thanos," but they still want the high stakes of "aliens are killing citizens en masse." Well, no. You don't get it both ways. And it shouldn't be that way. Smaller scale means a smaller scale. Reduce everything but write it well enough that you still get that same feeling of anxiety and dread.

The episode plays exactly the same without that bit of OOC overreach. (All it did was give Henry and Biscuits something to do in the climax.) Like... literally. You can cut those scenes without affecting anything. Does that sound like good writing? No. Just like with the ASL bit, I think the burden lies on writers explaining WHY he would do this instead of acting like it's obvious and natural. And just because Maya turned him down? He'll massacre dozens of people? I, for one, am not convinced.

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The Trauma of It All

I already talked a bit about Fisk's experience being "healed" by Maya in this post. (By the way, was I the only one expecting it to heal his eye too? Ah well.) I could talk more on my annoyance of super powers that just do whatever the writers want them to in any given situation. But I breathe, center myself, and appreciate what I have been given.

I was pretty disappointed in Fisk's writing the whole episode (see point directly above) until this point. They got me back on board. They made a good decision with this final conflict and NOT having it be a physical one. While it makes Echo's writing feel all over the board, dehumanizing Fisk and the humanizing him again, looking at this one aspect feels so good for his character, for anyone who enjoyed his character before this series. Echo, you get... two points.

Visually, I love it so much. Except for the part where I want to take in every single detail of Fisk's childhood bedroom, but they cranked the fog machine too high. I see he is a Yankees fan (But what about those Mets, Spider-Man?) There's a toy helicopter in the window, a toy airplane on the chest of drawers, and a picture of a plane. Was anyone going to tell me little Wilson likes aircrafts or... There's a jar of marbles, jar of little animals. Very normal, cute room for a boy. Despite the disrepair and decay in the walls. This feels like it leans so much closer to Fisk's outright childhood poverty in the comics than just being lower class in DD.

OBVIOUSLY, I *chef's kiss* at the wonderful homage to the white wall/painting. High school English teachers could have a field day examining the symbolism. In DD 1x03, Fisk says the painting makes him feel "alone," and that emotion is perfectly captured here. We hear his parents on the other side of the wall, in the other room, but Wilson is alone in his bedroom, wanting it to stop.

I hate/love the despair and pain Fisk has being back here. I would never trauma dump on the internet. I'll just say Wilson Fisk continues to be a very relatable character for me. He is, all joking aside, very special to me, personally. And moments like this only strengthen the love I have for him. Also makes me want to slap around Fisk haters who refuse to take the time to understand him. Bah.

A small thing I like is that Fisk seems able to fully understand Maya in here. Whether because he just, ya know, understands ASL (she unlocked the sign language he forgot since Hawkeye ◉o◉), or because thought transcends speech inside his head, you decide.

(づ￣ 3￣)づ

I could speak for thousands of words and never finish conveying how much I love this scene. It was a very good call to go this route.

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I Am Petting the Loyal Henchman

The guy who helps Fisk, who points a gun at Maya, pulls him away, and puts him in a car before the police arrive?

This guy?

Give him a raise. He's very important to me, I decided. I'm going to call him Carl.

What are you about, Carl? Are you in it for the paycheck, or are you loyal to the boss? There is a Wesley-shaped hole in my heart that will never fill.

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Mayor Fisk

Obviously excited for Mayor Fisk arc. There are a couple comic plots I've wanted to see Daredevil explore, and that's probably at the top of the list. (There is also Fisk and Matt working together in prison, but I'm less than hopeful we'll ever see it on screen.) I have so many questions about Fisk being mayor.

Do you think he'll still offer the job of Deputy Mayor to Matt??? Can he win honestly, or will he cheat? Can they show Fisk stealing an election without referencing ANY current events in the real world? Will the election be at the start of the series or mid-point, or will they save it (hopefully not) for a finale? Will they use this to set up future plots with Fisk?

I'm all abuzz with anticipation.

Only... over a year to Daredevil: Born Again! ╰(*°▽°*)╯

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On the very off chance you read all of this post or skimmed it and didn't see me address something you're curious of my opinion on, idk, just let me know. I'll ramble all day. Clearly.

[tomyo]

Maka Supplementals

Hey welcome to my "Maka Supplementals" post aka when you become so obsessed with an anime character, you start to treat any other character that looks like them as that character. I've been in this fandom and ancient amount of time and for some reason, I'll just notice a very Maka like quality in them.

Neiro from Kaiba

I'm probably ruining myself by starting with the best. Kaiba (2008) is really a series you can easily project not just Maka AND Soul but the rest main cast onto. I stg I thought Bstar and Popo had the same VA (they definitely have the same god complex). Naturally the pigtails and droopy eyes were a huge connector and the orange/green color scheme is frequently used to represent our fav duo. As for the story, it's mostly around Kaiba and Neiro being just out of reach of each other and a new technology that allows people to store and transfer memories to new bodies. Neiro also makes a good Kaiba type as a stern person in the present but soft and kind in the past/later on. She also has family trauma which may be a theme. On its own it's a masterpiece but I actually made my first SE friend in part due to us both separately coming into SExKaiba au art.

Mikan from Gakuen Alice

I only ever read the series but I figured anime art would pop more. Mikan, the mc, our classic lightish hair color in pigtails and you could possibly call her eyes droopy shaped. Tbh I can hardly remember this series since it's been 11+ years since I last read it but I do remember Mikan having mother issues. If I remember right it's a magic academy shoujo and I probably wouldn't have included it but I wanted to show off that cute angel outfit she's wearing.

Shizuku from Tonari no Kaibutsu

When I watched this series in 2014, this was the first time I said "Oh, this character is just Maka" and thus this list was born. Did you ever want to experience Maka in a Shoujo where her love interest looks like DtK but acts like Bstar? Here you are, the most frustrating romance ever. Shizuku Mizutani is a pretty perfect Maka type, she's quiet, serious, extremely studious, and constantly annoyed by everyone else's shenanigans. One day she's sent to deliver socially maladjusted Haru Yoshida his homework and naturally a classic nightmare romance starts. I'm not kidding when I say every episode one of the two confesses to the other who then turns them down. Honestly, that's the plot. The first confession is right at the end of episode one and it doesn't stop. Can't lie though, I love high school tropes and aesthetics so it's a fun way to reimagine the crew's life going.

Kirin from Gakuen Babysitters

Absolute baby. If you want to imagine was toddler Maka was like then Kirin is pretty good for that. She's not really a main focus of the story but Gakuen Babysitters is still surprisingly good. Kirin really feels like the tiny Maka we saw in Chrona's soul, very outgoing and friendly to those who aren't as confident. She often fights with a Black Star like nursery mate and has an aggressively doting dad that aligns perfectly with Spirit. One small story arc with her is wanting to be a witch. Not really a lot of anything but a cute detail to point out.

Marnie from Pokemon

She has pigtails and 2011 me drew Maka in the exact same outfit. Ngl, this is a real head empty one but I'm still not over that happening.

Nino from Fukumenki Noise

Sorry this is actually just another kind of annoying shoujo. Outside of the hair, Nino is pretty much nothing like Maka. Unlike most series where the story is a string of misunderstandings, Nino's naivety is often a major problem where she cheerily sings over listening to her best friend/crush's home problems and doesn't reflect on the ways her actions could be affecting others. So why is she on here? The music segments. There's this raw and unpolished nature to the singing that really just brings something special to it. Honestly just watch the singing proportions, ignore the bad cgi (in 2017 no less) and pretend its Maka "I don't get music" Albarn singing it.

Sana from Kodomo no Omocha

Probably the only series I've watched before Soul Eater on this list. I recently rewatched and kept feeling weird about the Maka vibes I was getting off of it. Sana does start the series pretty annoyed her schooling is being interrupted and her middle school uniform looks like the Sparoi uniform but her more core characteristics is being a child star and is extremely hyperactive because of it. So what was it? She's voiced by Laura Bailey. It's very interesting to hear her distinctive wobble in Sana's voice. Of course that isn't all, Sana has family issues and her genki personality is related to people pleasing so it's interesting to see when that facade drops. While the manga leaves a stronger impression, the end of 17- start of 18 has a few particularly beautifully scenes of animation.

Also something I want to point out is Sana's amazing wardrobe. Despite being 90s, the bright colors work great for Y2K looks that feel right for Mala's style sense. I wish I could use more than 10 photos to show them off. The anime uses a lot of long sleeves and skirts and the manga has some more trendy fashions like the fur trim cardigans that are popular right now so I'd look there for some outfit Y2K revival references.

[ragnarokhound]

re: your tags on the jason’s anger post~

hard agree!! i will read reconciliation fics bc like… i do enjoy them getting to be a happy family/group but ultimately, i am firmly in the Jason Todd Was Right camp, &. serious work would need to be done for him to ever actually be part of the family again, bc the actual roots of his issues run DEEP. (and again! he has points!!)

and also same again on like… if i mention the batfamily dynamics in my fics, with the exception of au’s, jason’s relationship with bruce especially is still at least a little strained. he’s a member but also kind of an outsider and maybe he has complicated feelings on that sometimes but ultimately it’s bc his convictions / beliefs run deeper than his need /want of acceptance / belonging.

anyway sorry to dump a rant in your inbox but, i loved your tags & wanted to reply 💞

OUUGHH YES THO!! THANK YOU FOR RANTING, ALWAYS RANT IN MY INBOX STAY IN THIS SPACE WITH ME <333

(I'm about to have a mini-rant of my own, and disclaimer, it's largely informed by my terrible foundation of the UTRH movie + fandom osmosis + the occasional page/panel drop/arguments from other fans skdndndj sO GRAIN OF SALT THE SIZE OF RHODE ISLAND: )

Because yes yes absolutely! It would take serious work on Both sides for Jason to be brought back into the fold. They would both need to want it, and someone would have to be willing to bend on what they are ok with letting slide. Bruce would have to allow Jason his independence and divergence in philosophy; Jason would have to make concessions to Bruce's hard anti-murder stance.

There would have to be compromise, and reparations of some kind. They would have to actually talk and be able to listen. Apologies exchanged (mostly from Bruce because lmao) and a bunch of stuff people with the whole picture could probably tell me better lmao. ALL HARD ASKS

Because yes yes yes!! Jason's convictions and his beliefs ABSOLUTELY run deeper than his desire for acceptance. That's not-so-low-key the biggest obstacle for both him and Bruce in their ever reconciling. It's why Talia was able to manipulate him at all (idk the specifics of that, but details), it's why he hatched a deeply convoluted plan to get back at Bruce and the Joker and fuck over Black Mask in one fell swoop.

He wanted to confront Bruce with the consequences of letting Joker run around even after committing a deeply heinous and personal crime. Show him that taking a more intense and hands on approach and cracking down HARD on the crime families in Gotham would have more immediate results than what Bruce did. And that's not even getting into the Robin stuff yet lol

I don't personally agree per se with Jason's stance on murder and crime fighting lmao - but I also think he has a goddamn point, especially in this universe. In the world of batman, where death can be impermanent and supervillains pull all kinds of heinous, torturous bullshit, Jason has a lot of righteous and justified anger about how Bruce does things, on top of his hurt and betrayal over how both he and his death were treated.

Bruce's stance makes sense to me too, in a 'everyone deserves a second chance' and 'no one is beyond redemption' and 'its a slippery slope' perspective. But at some point you have to wonder about accountability. About what's acceptable. When the Joker is an unrepentant, murderous, sadistic criminal who has demonstrated that he cannot be adequately jailed or rehabilitated, what do you do? Do you ever give up on him? When is enough enough? Is the death penalty ever justifiable?

It's what makes Jason vs Bruce's arguments interesting and tragic to me, because from Jason's perspective, he is seeking retribution for himself as a victim. He is an avenger for victims failed by the system as it stands. And the system fails a lot of people. It needs to change. (And it's something being felt very strongly by a lot of people rn IRL which makes Jason's ideals v sympathetic.)

But from Bruce's perspective, Jason has given up. He has lost hope in the inherent goodness of people. He no longer seeks to find the good in people; he has decided that there exists instead a sharp dichotomy, that there is such thing as a bad person who deserves to die for what they've done, and for being bad. As opposed to seeing deeply injured people who need help, even when you find them repulsive. Rotten work, that.

Bruce sees the end of the path that Jason is on, and it's a bullet that Jason puts in his own brain - because if there are good people and bad people, and bad people deserve to die... won't Jason lump himself in with the bad people eventually? (I am once again standing on my 'Jason Todd wants to die on some level' soapbox)

Anyway, all this to say - there is a sharp divide in Bruce and Jason's methods/beliefs that makes their reconciliation impossible if neither of them is willing to budge. And when they both see budging as a terrible thing to do, a failure to the very people they are dedicating their lives to protecting...well.

It's gonna take a lot of angst and a lot of work.

[sotwk]

omg hi im the anon that asked about the regencies beside turhir and arvellas' 👉👈 i was too shy to ask it off anon Imaooo so I didn't realize u had responded and also posted about it already!!

but omg its so!! and the timeline is a wonderful surprise!!! and ik I said it already but i love the thought and detail u put it into your hcs and that is just another great example of that

also your generosity in having your hcs all be open sourced..u are a blessing fr. liek idk if I'll ever actually Write smth beyond my own world building notes (which is kind of a hodgepodge of your ideas but also adapting parts of it to the story i want to tell and also my own bullshit lol) but if i ever do (even if i don't plan to post it) i feel like showing it you would be like a kid showing their artist parent their own attempt at art lmaooo

also yes i did read through all of it lmaoo it started bc arvellas' post was so detailed?? and it was so fascinating to me!! so i ended up checking the individual princes' tags too so I didn't miss anything haha and it was worth it you're a wonderful writer with a very wrinkled brain!!!

It always makes my month when someone comes off Anon to talk to me! It. Is. The. BEST. <3 You're so kind, my friend! I am so grateful to you for your interest in the Thranduilion Princes, and for asking me such great questions about them!

Friends like you make all the work I put into writing about the SotWK AU/ Woodland Realm headcanons worth it! They're not easy to write; they're pulled out of pages and pages of notes and need to be knitted together with stuff I've previously written so that the entire AU stays consistent. That's why I'm always happy to share and allow people to use them for their own stories/purposes. It makes the time and labor worth it if they can be used by others! :)

Please do tag me if you ever decide to write out and post your own stories! All my fics start out a "hodgepodge" of worldbuilding ideas too--it's a great place to start. But please do whatever makes you happy, first and foremost!

Besides, if I can do it, then you certainly can, too! You just need to grab a hold of some self-confidence and a couple of friends to boost that up. That's what makes fandom communities so great!

[seventeenlovesthree]

I know you like to spread positivity about all kinds of ships but I still wanted to ask if there are any digimon ships you really hate? Not meaning to be negative about it just curious.

Oh, that reminds me of that post I reblogged about how people can't openly "dislike" things on the internet anymore... And I would also maintain that I don't actually "hate" any ship, but that there are some dynamics that are simply not for me, whether it's the canon depiction or the fandom portrayal. I still enjoy playing my ship dynamics game, because it allows me to dive deeper into certain (potential) relationships. And I still think everyone should be able to ship whatever they like and lighthearted banter is also completely fine, as long as they don't harass others, vandalize art, write hatefic, start ship wars and so on. Believe me, I have seen people lose interest in fandom and pull back completely because of petty ship wars and it's just sad.

That being said, there might be a few dynamics I tend to avoid romantically, even if I enjoy most of these platonically (or at least in very specific contexts):

Taichi/Yamato: I recently wrote a huge analysis on how I perceive them and why I think they're rather tragic. I guess my inner child has always been kinda annoyed by their trope-y over-exposure ever since I had access to the internet and I simply am not enjoying "rival" ships (even though they still aren't even classic rivals in my book). Doujin portrayals are filled with angst or mainly physicality too and I don't like how those artists usually ignore that these two have OTHER PEOPLE in their lives too, which, again, makes it really tragic and sad and I really want them to HEAL for once, so... No, they're not for me.

Koushirou/Mimi: The fun part about them is that I actually liked them as a ship when I was a kid. And once again, I pointed out a lot of their good qualities before - but Tri really summarized everything I don't enjoy about their portrayal (and that doesn't even include certain fandom corners yet that go way too hard with their kinks on them, which make me just... Uncomfortable. The same/related corners also can make me have issues with very specific Taichi/Mimi fandom portrayals, but I will not go into further detail here, because it's just cruel). I absolutely adore them as friends, but there are just way too many things that make me believe they'd struggle to be compatible romantically with each other long-term.

Yamato/Mimi: I get that they are very popular in various fandom corners and I maintain, ship and let ship! As for me personally, I simply do not see them being compatible, mainly due to their lack of (positive) interactions, even though I did try to outline their potential before.

Yamato/Sora: Disclaimer, I do NOT hate them - in fact, I will probably always be one of those who will defend their parallels to one another AND them being mirrors to Taishirou (and in a lot of my AUs, you will find them as complementary ship to them after all). However... I mainly like their potential. What I don't like is their canon portrayal, because it simply doesn't give me enough to see them in a romantic context, especially long-term. Short term? Heck yeah, why not? But everything beyond that... We all know what I am referring to here, ahem. There was art out there that said they were each other's "comphet phase" and I will never get that out of my head. I also maintain that they both may just want Taichi. Which makes it even more tragic.

Daisuke/Hikari: Again, disclaimer, I think fandom tends to portray them rather nicely and I do believe they have a lot of potential. And I don't hate them, I am just annoyed with how they tend to be depicted in canon, because it feels like an unnecessarily cruel running gag that doesn't let either of them shine in their best light.

Edit: Small shout-out to Ken/Miyako and I know it's cheap to dump on the canon ships like that, but I still feel like it's very one-sided in its portrayal (even if The Beginning made a bit progress in that regard, but I still feel like they should go poly with Daisuke, period). Again, don't hate it, just wish it was more visible.