#its always when im sleepy i get motivation. ALWAYS

[rainofthetwilight]

why is it always the times i write i get so sleepy

[luniise-kel]

thinking about how cool and awesome moon stone cassandra couldve been if she wasnt given the world’s worst villain motivation

dropping my whole au / rewrote of season 3 below

uh preface is im sleepy and its almost midnight, so like sorry if some parts dont make sense or whatever

uhh basically, instead of cass trying to like reach her destiny or whatever as like her Main motivation and the only reason to why she Evil and Malicious ive changed it so its more mixed in with her desire to protect rapunzel. i think moonstone cass is cool and i like the idea of her but i really just think her execution was poor mostly because it wasn’t built up as much as it shouldve been.

rewrote cass’s character slightly just so there more empathize on her idolization of her mother, and so when she learns the truth of why mother gothel left her, the knee jerk reaction to blame raps makes a little more sense.

Anyways, Season 3 cass deals with a lot of her issues, i think on the journey to get the moonstone something something happens and cassandra is told that if rapunzel comes in contact with the moonstone she will Implode. Like die. Return to being the sundrop. and cass is like oh fuck, shit, balls, I need to Protect her from Dying. So out of her intense Need to protect Rapunzel she yoinks the moonstone, and (still slightly pissed at raps for stealing her mom but not really she’s just trying to figure out her emotions + rapunzel needs to get away away from this rock) she goes into Evil mode.

Her villain arc is partly fueled by her anger at her own situation, always in second place. her desire to feel love and cherished and important rather than being the 2nd option. However, it is also fueled by her need to provide safety to her friends ,, even if it’s not the smartest choice. Moonstone Cass devotes her entire identify to being the cliche villain, so no one feels bad if like the solution to destroying the moonstone is killing her. she knows that logically the Zhan Tiri is manipulating her but 1. she idgaf and 2. she needs to learn how to control the moonstone’s power so she doesnt hurt her friends.

Tbh boiled now, it’s just cass isnt obsessive with mother gothel and mother gothel leaving her to kidnap a baby because it made like no sense for her character. like instead, moonstone cass grabbles with her identify and place in the world, who she is outside of rapunzel. Also she wants to learn more about her past, yknow, who mother gothel was and is she Worth getting upset over. spoiler she figures out that no, her bio mom sucks booty

Anyways, throughout my version of season 3, cass is trying to figure out a way to destroy the moonstone. She visits Rapunzel often too and pretends to be evil just so she can check in. She angry at her mom but not so much on rapunzel, maybe a little bit but probably more to with simply trying to crave out her identify outside of rapunzel. Same general plot beats happen in s3, but shes more grief driven than anger driven i suppose.

Theres probably a lot i forgot to like, reformulate in this especially w s3 bc i havent had the time to rewatch it and collect my thoughts that well. But, uh, hope u enjoyed. might yap more about my personal gripes with the show and how i think it shouldve been written.

also to add on i suppose, at the end of the series she gets exiled from corona officially, but lowkey comes back to hang out and after like a year every1 is like yeah okay i guess.

[hollowtakami]

THE WORDS YOU GAVE ME

Keigo Takami x GN reader

CONTENT; pure fluff, waking up with my fav birb, pet names (duckie, baby bird, dove), comfort w/ some reverse comfort too.

WORD COUNT; 732

AUTHOR NOTE; im so sorry I’ve been gone so long!! :( life really got in the way and i’ve been unable to write from lack of motivation and stuff. i wrote this little drabble to try and get back into the swing of things, i’m quite proud of it but i’m still a little rusty. i hope you’re all doing well during the run up to the new year! remember to drink water and take care of yourself, you’re so loved <3

Mourning doves cooed out their quiet songs as the sun stretched out into the sky, wrapped in blankets of clouds. Its light slithered under your curtains and ran its warm ray of fingers over your face. You stirred, your face scrunching up as you reluctantly greeted a new day and turned to your side to be met with a comforting, red warmth; the fiery plumage of Keigo’s wings, his primaries spread over the thickness of your duck-feather duvet. You rub your eyes as you feel a hand stroke the hair from your face. Those hands trail down to rub your shoulders, massaging gentle circles of comfort into your skin.

“Morning, dove,” A voice croaks out.

“Good morning,” You reply, opening your heavy eyes to a sleepy Keigo, shirtless with the rising sun highlighting him like a halo through your curtains.

He smiles at the sound of your voice, amber suns pinning as the dark holes of his eyes dilate to twice their size. He stretches his wings out again as he shuffles closer to you, his hand on your shoulder raising to your face again, the pad of his thumb making circles on your cheek.

You feel yourself melt into the warmth of his touch, leaning in slightly. The comfort of the blankets and duvet were one thing, but when Keigo was under them with you, it was like the stars had aligned so perfectly. You knew that if he could, Keigo would align the stars for you, paint a sky full of the stars he knew you loved so much.

“How’d you sleep?” Keigo asked, never taking his eyes off you.

You shrugged, your throat still a little hoarse. You only leaned Keigo’s chest, the heat of his skin setting your cheeks on fire. You couldn’t tell if it was that or the brush of red that bloomed over your face, but Keigo was happy to still have that effect on you, after all this time.

He planted a kiss on the crown of your head, resting his chin. You hummed to yourself happily, half asleep. The two of you laid in comfortable silence for a moment, the sound of each other breathing like a lifeline. Keigo ran his hands through your hair and draped a wing over the two of you like a blanket of red plumage - warm and cosy, with his safe, familiar scent.

Your eyes failed you, growing heavy again. You yawned, face scrunching up. Keigo would always laugh and tell you how cute he thought you were, kiss your nose softly and leave you a melting mess to resume whatever he was doing. This time was no different.

“Still tired, baby bird?” Keigo chirped, cupping your face and pecking your nose with a gentle kiss, smiling to himself as your soft blush only grew in intensity. “You’re so adorable.”

However many times he’d kiss you, it always felt like the first time. There was something about the love Keigo gave you that was so familiar yet so fresh. It set your weary heart at ease, it made everything okay.

You look up at him, your eyes like stars as they refracted the morning light. Keigo felt himself melting, choking back a stray chirp that dared to jump up his throat. His plumage fluffed up slightly, the perking of his primaries ruffling the duvet a little. You cupped his face with one hand, using your free hand to haul yourself upwards slightly as you kissed Keigo's nose, your cheek scratching against his stubble slightly as you sank back down into the sheets.

His eyes pinned, the gold of his irises almost completely taken over by black. He nervously smiled, his face redder than his wings. He was the one who gave affection, he was never one to be good at receiving it. The Commission had almost completely trained that out of him, oiling his heart with apathy instead of love. So, you always made sure to remind Keigo that he was loved, that he was worthy of love; after all, he did the same for you.

“I love you, Kei,” you cooed, beaming.

That repressed chirp regurgitated up from Keigo’s throat, a nervous laugh not far behind. You smiled, tracing his jawline with your thumb. Nicknames were the man’s weakness. Call him Kei, and he’ll melt.

Keigo beamed back, shining like a star.

“I love you too, duckie,”

[1800-page-not-found]

Being drunk and complaining how you think your bf/gf is prettier than you (genshin men+women x fem reader) PART 3

ITS THE HARBINGERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Not doing scaramouche cuz i already did in part 2

Dottore, Columbina, Sandrone x reader (seperate)

TW: implied unhealthy relationship (for dottore bc that man does not treat anyone like a human being, i have mixed feelings about that guy), and id like to state that i do NOT support toxic relationships.

Making another part for the other harbingers bc im really sleepy rn and I just wanna give you guys something because I havent posted in a long time.

The next part contains Pantalone, Tartaglia, Arlecchino x reader (seperate)

Maybe i'll do Signora, Pierro, and Capatino? but Capatino wears a mask??? wtv lol

Please note that you may not like "[name]"s personality, as it may differ from yours.

You had met Zandik when he was a scholar at the Akademiya, before he was expelled for his crimes and immoral acts. Fortunately, unlike the last girl who had fancied him, Sohreh, he did not mutilate your body, because somehow in that rather small and close to non existing heart of his, was you.

But unfortunately, you could not escape his unhinged mindset. You relied too much on the Akasha System. When he did get expelled, you followed with him. After all, thats what the Akasha showed which was best for you. Hundreds of years went by, and he became a powerful harbinger. He still gave you freedom, to some extent. So how did you wind up at his office, crying and drunk?

"Zandik" You cried.

You were ultimately weak in the mind due to your heavy dependency that Dottore had created for you. He smiled as you cried into his shoulder, dampening his clothes.

"Yes dear? What happened for you to come crying to me?" He was your white knight.

You quickly learned that somehow, dottore would always save you, relieving you of your agony. Like he did with the ruin machines when they found Sohreh's body.

"O-one of your clones said you didn't love me and you had another woman…" you hiccup in between your words.

"My dear, do not fret, there are no other women in my life besides you. Why would I require someone else? Those clones can be quite troublesome, and not all of them are friendly. I apologize for their behavior." He soothed you, patting your back. 'Yes, yes...let it all out,' he thought. His clones were doing well, their original sole purpose was to create insecurities and confusion in your mind.

"But-But, I'm not even that pretty, even you're prettier than me! Theres plenty of women who are better than me-what if you dont love me one day?" You mumble, your head still lying on his shoulder.

"Darling, I have to say, I am surprised by your irrational behavior. My affection for you is undeniable, and the fact that you would suggest otherwise is quite hurtful..." Your eyes widened.

Oh, how could you hurt him like that?! After everything he's done for you?...

"No-no! I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you, I-"

"Do you trust me [name]?" He cuts you off.

"Huh? Of course I do!"

"Good, now please can we move on? If we continue to talk about this, my heart will ache even more." He starts to make an expression that he knows will make you feel guilty. You've really fallen deeper into the rabbit hole now.

--------

Columbina had saved you at your lowest, and you had devoted your every fiber of yourself to her. You decided to get stronger, your sole motivation being paying back your benefactor. Well, that was until the angel-like harbinger said you could pay her back by forming a relationship with her.

You did start off as friends, but that slowly spiraled into a more intimate relationship. You promised to be there for her whenever and wherever, but really, does the harbinger who's ranked third really need protecting?... I mean, you're so much weaker than her, how can you protect her when she's in danger?

That thought slowly grew in your mind-you can't help but just let it all out when drunk on the fine vodka Columbina had brought back for you and her to enjoy...until well, you drank the whole bottle.

You stared at the empty bottle in your hand that once held the highest quality of vodka.

"[name], my dear, what's on your mind?" Columbina spoke softly, her voice sounding like a lovely melody in your ears.

"Mmmm...I don't wanna bother youuu..." You dragged out your words, slurring your speech.

Columbina stood up from the couch and took the bottle out from your hands and gently placed it on the glass coffee table, making a small 'kling' sound. She sat back down and held your hands, which were rather cold so she decided to warm them up.

It was strange how she always kept her eyes closed, but no matter what always aware of her surroundings. This only increased your insecurity, after all, only one with great strength could do such things...and you couldn't.

"[name]." She let go of your hands and placed hers on your cheek, and kissed you softly. "Your thoughts will never be a bother all right? I'll always be there to protect you and be by your side." She smiled at you warmly.

You started to cry, the alcohol heightening your emotions. "That's-that's the thing!" You let out a sob, wiping your tears. "I-I don't want to just rely on you, I want you to rely on me too! But, I'm so much weaker than you and, and you excel in everything! You're smart, strong, independent, and so, so much prettier than me and everyone, you deserve so much better than me I-" Your rant was cut short when Columbina kissed you again softly.

"Oh, [name], I never knew you felt this way, I want you to know that I rely on you every single day, there is not a single moment where I don't rely on you. I know you probably don't believe it, but you make me feel so happy. I don't care if you think that I outshine you, because in my eyes you're the most beautiful and amazing person in the entirety of Teyvat. You're perfect in my eyes just the way you are, and no one else can take that spot." Her voice really soothed you, and as she spoke, you stopped crying.

"R-really? You mean it?..." You sniffled, wiping your tears off your face.

"Yes, now please, there's no need to cry anymore alright?" she kissed your forehead and held you in a warm embrace on the couch.

"Mhm…alright, thank you, I love you…" You rubbed your eyes, tired from crying and fell asleep in Columbina's arms.

Once you were sound asleep, Columbina picked you up, carrying you in her arms bridal style and set you gently on the bed, making sure you're comfortable before crawling into the bed and cuddling with you.

The next day, you woke up, eyes puffy and not a single memory of last night. When you asked your lover, she just giggled and walked away, leaving you confused.

--------

Sandrone was an interesting character. When you first met, you had actually died. Well more like on the verge of death. Somehow, for some reason, she had saved you, as she had basically turned you into part automaton.

You were supposedly her 'puppet', but, puppets don't act this human. You were crazy for confessing your love to her, the harbinger who was known for only caring about her own works, and having a god awful personality to come with it.

Well, fortunately for you, you did count as one of her works, so perhaps that was the reason why she accepted your confession and you two started being in a relationship?...you still couldn't wrap your mind about this, you were really happy to say the least.

Today, you had practically begged her to come with you to have a picnic and stargaze. She was being quite stubborn. But of course, she couldn't outmatch your own stubbornness and you, thus she gave in.

You were so excited, yet here you were, sitting on the blanket, extremely drunk. You smiled at her, all giggly and bubbly as you wrapped yourself around her arm, hugging her.

Sandrone sighed and frowned, she stopped her work just for this? I mean, it was you... (She'd never admit to loving spending time with you, she's gotta keep her reputation up... but everyone knows, even you, that she has an extremely soft spot for you (and only you.))

"[name]...quit staring at me like that!" sandrone flicked your forehead, earning an 'owwww' from you.

After recovering from the ferocious attack, you laughed and smiled. "But you're just sooooo pretty! I can't keep my eyes off you, the prettiest girl in Teyvat!"

You lowered your voice to a whisper "I think you're prettier than me, all the other harbingers, and the Tsaritsa- Ow!"

She slapped the back of your head. "I will not allow you to speak of her majesty the Tsaritsa like that, [name]!"

She crossed her arms and turned her head away from you, looking angry.

Although, her words seemed to contradict her statement just now. She spoke quietly under her breath, "plus, youre the most prettiest girl in Teyvat, [name]..."

You perked up, perhaps having heightened senses was a good thing. "I heard that!" You shouted and smiled. "You really think that-"

"W-what?! No! You must be imagining things!" She yelled back at you. "Damn it, I shouldn't have heightened your sense of hearing too! Ugh!"

All you did was laugh teasingly at her frustration and embarrassment getting caught being nice, specifically to you. Until you blacked out from the alcohol. That reallllllllyyyy freaked her out, as she frantically carried you back home. (Well, the only reason she showed her 'nicer' side was really due to the only witness being her modified automaton.)

You had slept for a whole day before waking up at noon, with a god awful hangover, causing you to throw up.

(Sandrone ordered one of her machines to take care of you in secret and report to her every hour about your status.)

[zorosq]

obsession (ii) ; black leg sanji

↻ stalking, established relationship, umm... its unsettling?, creepy behavior, grammatical error (i wrote this while being sleepy)

↻ pairing ↬ sanji x fem!reader!

a/n an anon asked me to make a continuation of this oneshot and ive been putting it off for a while now... and i think right now im good to go since i finally got the motivation to actually write something LMAO (this sets before sanji & y/n date)

sanji felt a bit guilty for creeping up in your room while you're asleep. but he's sure you will understand that he did it because of his love for you. he was practically giving heart eyes when he saw your sleeping form. though that wasn't his goal when he decided to sneak into your room.

he wanted to know what you were like ― what your private sanctuary looks like. his eyes trailed at every picture, every books, every notes. everything about you is so... you.

deep inside, he was fighting the urge to get a piece of you. just as a souvenir. surely you would understand it, right? he means well. slowly, he opened one of your drawers containing your shirts. the gods were giving him the best gift. taking one of your clothes, he buried his face in it, inhaling your comforting smell.

his eyes wandered back over your station. the jeweleries that's been put in place neatly by you. he just knows that you spent meticulous hours in organizing it. you would look so pretty in it. he could already imagine it without even seeing you in it.

this is what it means to be in love.

.

you had somehow managed to get away from the toxic relationship with sanji, even moving away to a new city. your friends had helped you get away from him and as usual, not a single call from your parents.

though you were too careless. how can you think that you had gotten away from him when he is not in jail or... dead?

you were surprised to find him waiting for you inside your new apartment with a cigarette in between his lips. "sweetheart... why did you leave me?" he huffed out the smoke, looking at you with a betrayed expression. "i promise i will never do anything that upsets you if you come back to me..." sanji stepped closer to you, a disappointed glint appearing in his eyes that quickly disappears when he saw you back away from him.

"i love you... can't you see that you're hurting me?" his voice almost came out whiny, face scrunching slightly as if to show how much in pain he is. "say something!" he raised his voice, quickly apologizing afterwards. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to scare you..."

he was so close to you by now. just inches away from you. his cigarette were long forgotten on the floor as his hand trembles slightly when he moved his hand to caress your face. "please, don't hurt me..." you clenched your eyes shut, afraid of any pain that he might want to inflict upon you. "oh, sweetheart... i would never hurt you," he cupped your cheeks in his hands.

"stay with me, please," it wasn't exactly a plea. it was more of a demand. he wouldn't let you say no anyway. he would always find a way to get back into your life.

[feralwetcat]

I haven't been very sappy on main so *throws sad shit at you* (aka me thanking the fable community and cast again, cuz goddammit you guys are so neat and cool)

Fable smp was, and is probably one of my favorite things I've discovered, i clicked on one of heyhays vods one day on a whim and gods im so glad i did, the way Fable has shaped me as a person and helped me improve is honestly crazy, its how i got into doing art, how i improved, how i met most of my friends, its genuinely been an amazing journey.

For me as a person, my home has always been an odd environment, without getting into too much detail my family has lots of trauma circling around, my brother and dad especially, so the way Fable comforted me through bad days, or when my dad would burst out at me or my mum, its genuinely such a crazy thing that these little block guys have helped me through so fucking much, the way they've helped me discover who i am, to feel represented through so many characters, heck even just hyperfixating with others, its amazing

Its helped me become more confident in my own skin, able to accept my body and how fucked up it is, from the rep with disabilities to identities, seeing something like "hey i have that!" Or "i experience that!", even the small pieces, its so fuckin awesome to see such cool people that are honestly like me

To all the cast: thank you, if not for making Fable, but for representing people, for showing us how much of an outlet being creative can be, and everything in between, all of this is so crazy how cool and detailed it is, truly.

To the fandom: you all are so fuckin cool, the way i get so excited when you guys interact with my stuff, art, silly posts, or just jokes, it's just so cool to interact with y'all, I've made so many friends and i know I'll make more, especially with all the smps y'all promote, keep doin that, i love your stuff guys<3

(now for specifics that have made me feel seen ayo)

To Athena: thank you, genuinely, for making a space that i feel seen in, i feel welcome in, the rep with C!Athenas disability and still having a great time, having a fulfilling life, which I've been told so many times I can't have due to my disabilities, its so amazing, even if its sleepy stardew, lore, or anything in-between, your community and self is so inviting and comforting. Your voice has always been so comforting (like a chill pink mixed with a light coffee brown feel:]), and i genuinely can't thank you enough, if not for representing me, but for becoming a comfort streamer for me

To Ghosty: Caspian as a character was so cool to see, his story was like a good book really, one you could pull up and watch with some tea or hot coco and a blanket, one that was so interesting, I've experienced some of the issues he worked through and it felt so amazing to see, especially a trans character whos entire personality wasn't that he was trans, or a character who struggled with grief but was still happy and able to be *alright* sometimes, thank you.

To Sherb: the way you did lore, and continue to do lore, always excited me, got me feeling genuine emotions, which I've always struggled with, it made me get into storytelling, something I've always enjoyed, it made me get into telling my own stories, its been so enjoyable, and will continue to be ! Icarus as a character made me feel seen in the way that you can care for someone, trust them fully, but they can still be a good person, but the way they treat you makes you believe they're a good person, and thats really important to me. Thank you Sherbert

To Connor: gods your writing is so cool, your fics motivated me to start writing again, and Ulysses as a character as well is such an interesting character, his writing is so neat and his story again made me feel so seen in many ways, and your writing is so good

Finally, To Beck: Arisanna was and continues to be a character i resonate with, always working for someone, never for yourself, feeling alone at times even with many people, having to or feeling like you have to provide for your friends and family, i grew up feeling like i had to protect my older brother, make sure he was alright, and Ari made me feel seen in that way, thanks for that, really

Thank you everyone, for supporting me, through my art, pickup lines, or just dumb jokes

Signed, FeralWetCat (Kai)

[thyluvcupix]

Sakuatsu fic recs!

im very picky on what i label to be a 'good fic' most of the ones are amazing but only a few will get bookmarkerd by me and here they are! My ao3 acc that has many more book marks mostly nsfw i diddnt put here

1

A liar's truth 49k words

okay this one is just breathtaking? if you havent read this pls do i cried sm😭

summary:

In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?

2

I'll see you in court, motherfucker 2k words

its short and funny def worth a read if you wanna giggle

Summary:

“You’re still a fraud. You’re—you’re a scammer, is what you are. I don’t know how you convinced the hospital administration that you’re my husband, or that we even have a relationship, but I have—” Fuck, what’s the word? “Lawyers,” Kiyoomi says triumphantly, “I have lawyers, and if you’re trying to con me for some ulterior motive, I’ll have you know—” “Oh my god, Omi,” Miya says, sounding equal parts exasperated and horribly fond. “How can you be so cute?”

A pleasant side effect of being down one vestigial organ is forgetting the existence of your hot Olympic athlete husband

3

The 28 post cards you left me 8k words

Honestly, if i ever break up with someone this is exactly what i want from them? Like omg?? pls send me post cards, Super cute

Summary:

Atsumu takes texting your ex to a new level by sending Sakusa postcards in Animal Crossing instead.

4

The art of the thrist trap 4k words

naughty naughty, but other than that this fic is so funny? like ask ur brother how to rizz someone up

Summary:

“Samu, I’ve got a big problem.”

“Here we fuckin’ go. What is it this time?”

Atsumu needs to think strategically about how he’s going to phrase this. One wrong word and Osamu will hang up on him and Atsumu will be forced to wade through the hell of his own mind by himself.

“I jerked off to one of my teammates.”

Osamu hangs up.

5

Problem 5k words

super cute sleepy omi is something else

Summary:

Atsumu has a problem— somehow, he finds every version of Sakusa Kiyoomi adorable.

In which Atsumu realizes that Sakusa Kiyoomi gets very quiet and very adorable when he's tired. Things simply go downhill from there.

6

Take me where the music aint to loud 2k words

Protetive sakusa>>

Summary:

Winning against the Adlers must have meant something of a great deal to Sakusa, as usually he wouldn’t even consider going out with the rest of his team after the game.

Yet, here he is, in a somewhat crowded club, wearing a black button up shirt rolled up around his wrists and sweating a little under the bright lights.

Atsumu thinks he looks beautiful.

He wanders over to where Sakusa is standing with Meian, hoping that tonight, with a little bit of influence from alcohol, he might be able to get more conversation out of him than he can usually get outside of practice.

But of course, Atsumu can’t have anything good, ever. Because, blocking the way is his ex-boyfriend.

--

or; atsumu runs into his ex in the club, and sakusa has to rescue him

7

ROAD RAGE 2k words

This is funny on so many levels poor atsumu he fears for his life

Summary:

For a man who preaches at any given opportunity about the importance of good self-care practices, Sakusa certainly displays an astounding lack of self-preservation when behind the wheel.

Sakusa Kiyoomi has a driver’s license. Sakusa Kiyoomi cannot drive.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

8

The ascent to love (or descent) 3k words

Im always a sucker for hurt/comfort and this fic gives me that, its also funny as well so its a win-win type thing

Summary:

Stuck in an elevator with his boyfriend after a fight, Sakusa Kiyoomi couldn't think of anything worse. Working through their issues?  Maybe he could think of one thing.

9

Take me home 10k words

i just cannont stress how good this is, like its soul healing on so may levels gosh

Summary:

Turns out, Miya Atsumu never did a good thing in his life – his love was one-sided. And so, he was running away, hoping to meet some friendly people, take a bunch of pretty pictures and get over Kita Shinsuke.

In which Miya Atsumu is an exchange student in Italy, and Sakusa Kiyoomi is the only one knowing Japanese, forced to take care of the new student.

10

Hope is the thing with feathers 10k words

Two dummies taking care of some birds is honestly to good

Summary:

Kiyoomi wakes to Miya banging on his door, yelling words that put the fear of god in him.

“Omi-kun, get out here, we’re gonna be fathers.”

11

In the stars 1k words

In all honesty it made me think of the other side of love i never thought about

Summary:

Miya Atsumu is a romantic. He always had been. He believes in soulmates and destiny and true love in the stars. Sakusa Kiyoomi believes none of that.

My ao3↵

[allisluv]

hi dear, this is a very awkward ask now that im actually typing but its been on my mind, i saw you do a lucy gray nsfw alphabet. i was wondering if i could request a katniss everdeen one? (only if you are comfortable!)

anon this is no problem at all! don’t feel awkward!! im sorry this took me so long to get around to <3

pairing: katniss everdeen x fem!reader

content warnings: lesbian smut, not edited or proofread but whats new

A = aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

katniss gets super sleepy after sex. she'll get you a glass of water and a snack but she's conked out for the rest of the night afterwards.

B = body part (their favourite body part of theirs and their partners)

i do think katniss likes her hands. they're calloused from hunting and making snares and she likes how soft your hands feel in hers.

as cliche as it sounds, katniss loves your eyes. she especially likes how they get wider when you're desperately begging for her.

C = cum (anything to do with cum)

katniss won't let up until you've cum at least three times in a row. she takes great pleasure in knowing that she’s the one making you feel so good.

D = dirty secret

katniss likes feeling her fingers be sucked into your cunt. i think it really turns her on.

E = experience (how experienced are they? dp they know what they're doing?)

i honestly think katniss is too socially awkward to have experience before you. the first few times you have sex, its gonna be awkward but once you get to know each other's habits and bodies, youll get into the swing of things.

F = favourite position

katniss is a fan of both scissoring and doggy style. i think she likes being able to grip your hips and guide you.

G = goofy (are they more serious in the moment or are they humurous?)

she giggles during sex but apart from that, i do think she's more serious in the moment.

H — hair (how well groomed are they? do the curtains match the drapes?)

i don’t think katniss likes shaving so she leaves her hair grow naturally.

I — intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspects etc)

even if katniss is fucking you, she's lacing your fingers together. if theres not some aspect of intimacy to sex, then she doesn't like it.

J -- jack off (masturbation headcanon)

before she met you, katniss would masturbate only once a week but she'd much rather fuck you than her fingers.

K -- kinks (one or more of their kinks)

i quite honestly think shes a big fan of degradation. she can say the meanest things but she is doting on you constantly during the aftercare. she

L -- location (favourite places to have sex)

katniss is a homebird so she doesn't like venturing far outside of the bedroom. she'll use other rooms in the house but apart from that, she likes staying in the one place

M -- motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

she likes watching you take control, even in just subtle things, like taking something out of her hands or doing something little for her

N -- no (something they wouldn't do, turn-offs)

katniss doesn't like roleplay. i think she finds it too awkward.

O -- oral (preference in giving or receiving, skills etc...)

she prefers giving but she won't say no if you offer to eat her out. she also knows what to do with her tongue if you know what i'm getting at

P -- pace (are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?)

katniss prefers taking her time but she can fuck you rough and hard if you wanted her to, especially if she's feeling frustrated

Q -- quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often etc...)

katniss loves quickies. she likes the feeling of only having a certain amount of time before you've got to leave the house because shes always up for a challenge

R -- risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks?)

katniss doesn't mind taking the occasional risk but she wouldn't make a habit out of it

S -- stanima (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

katniss can go for more than an hour but i dont think she lasts very long.

T -- toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on their partners or themselves?)

katniss likes using vibrators on you and i just know she has five strap ons that she uses on a regular basis.

U -- unfair (how much they like to tease)

katniss loves to tease. she'll wear the shortest skirts around the house and then act all innocent when your panties are wet. she could edge you for hours without cracking

V -- volume (how loud are they and what sounds do they make?)

katniss is super loud. she's not hiding anything for anyone. she doesnt care whos listening.

W -- wild card (random headcanon)

she once tied herself up with ribbon and got you to unwrap her for your birthday present 😭

X -- x-ray (lets see whats going on in those pants)

katniss has lots of hair down there but she'll wear cute little lingere sets to show off to you

Y -- yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

she has a pretty high sex drive. she could go multiple times a day every day.

Z -- zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep)

katniss traces patterns onto your back until she dozes off!

[itsdappleagain]

Arguably one of the strongest character building episodes in the entire series, The Daisho Caper is fantastically unique in its motivations, gorgeous scenery and animation, and subversion of expectations. I’m so ready for this unique and spectacular episode. LET’S GET IT GOING!!!!

(and yes. im mega late. working on it. notes under the cut as always!)

I love this infodump section so much. It’s really beautiful and super unique in that it starts the episode and also happens in a flashback (almost everything about this episode is unique?? From singing to a rejected redemption arc there are lots of things in this episode that never happen again

LIL BABY CARMEN

AWWW WAIT CARMEN ASKS IF HE CAN TAKE HER TO JAPAN AND YEARS LATER HE GETS TO. DAD MOMENT

And you can see how shadow-san distances himself from her as she gets older

Sleepy carmen <333

Sleepy EVERYONE

SHADOWLOLADLOWLEHEE HOO

That ironic little “heh” carmen does is so. Yeah i dont know i love it

Man hideo got SUMMONED she put one finger on the glass and he teleported

HOW ABOUT SORRY, CARMEN

Hideo is honestly so perceptive he would kill it in miraculous ladybug /j okay but seriously he’s already noticed what she knows and he even recognizes her when. Literally not even the law enforcement agency dedicated to catching her could at one point

“Dark forces” checks out, seeing as shadow-san basically means mr. shadow

I love when they get bitchy with each other

Also HI the animation is SOO PRETTY THIS EPISODE

More than a feeling by boston. Its by boston you guys do you get it its by boston

Also this karaoke scene SLAPS

Not zack pulling down shadowsan’s clothing. Yas bitch show a little slutty shoulder

THEYRE HAVING SO MUCH FUN <333

Zack and ivy: thank you thank you!!!!

Carmen and Shadowsan: okay well now that theyve shut the fuck up we can continue talking i guess

MAN HE SAID SPIES AND ASSASSINS AND HE’S REMEMBERING DEXTER…SPYING AND ASSASSINATION WAS WHAT HE WAS THERE FOR AND HE HAS TO CONFRONT IT NOW

HE CAN’T REALLY BECOME A SAMURAI IN THE EYES OF HIMSELF AND HIS BROTHER UNTIL HE CONFRONTS THAT PIECE OF HIS PAST AND LEARNS TO GROW FROM IT WITH CARMEN. MAN THIS EPISODE

PAPER STAR <333

Wait dokuso says “i called you here” do senior operatives have some caper perms? Can dokuso contact the faculty and be like HEY can i borrow paper star

Not quite sure what the little maneuver in the air was supposed to help avoid because it did. Nothing

HNNG okay i’ve dumped on jo’s DMs about this shot but its SO pretty

Follows the rule of thirds line, the gorgeous lighting, paper star framed in the moon, the perspective and use of space, the petals blowing in the wind, glowing in the light. ACTUAL LITERAL ART

Rip deleted scene where paper star says “sheep dont fly” the first time ig 

Season two and those slide-under-projectile shots

Carmen and chucking painful building materials at evil gay women this season

Carmen loves that little flip over the shoulder move

Also I LOVE that you can just watch Carmen figure out who Suhara is immediately its cool

whats up with the dirt on his face

SO BEGINS THE VILE FACULTY SAGA honestly such a fun plot point from this season they'll literally try out anyone

GOD the bridge and the cherry blossoms and the water have I mentioned how gorgeous this episode is

there's always more to the story with shadowsan

also mmm i love. i love that carmen isnt quite certain, so she says "suhara" very quietly. she's testing it out, and the look on shadowsan's face is all she needs to figure out that she's right

just another little tiny clue that shadowsan knows more than he lets on about her past. why would he be guilty about simply not knowing where she came from? if his cover story was true, he would if anything be carmen's savior from a terrible death or being picked up by some random people or something. just. god really good.

SHADOWSAN IS SO TALL NEXT TO HER SJDGDHS

god that transition with the cherry blossoms was good

i feel so bad for hideo he didn't deserve shadowsangst

btw i want to see a spinoff with the faculty/shadow-san's school and early crime days

man the confrontation scene is so raw. hideo is shaking, holding that sword, but he is fucking ready to fight his brother about keeping the sword. man its good

appreciate the scenery

that reveal of the shot being a puddle is also so good this episode is literally art

i love rewatching this episode for the little details- the camera always stopping before ivy's face, the swords discreetly disappearing as the cart goes by. you don't even notice the first time

i know they kill people and stuff but the hoodlums are kinda sweet. yess kings sing that karaoke

i wonder if the elvis song was a nod to the elvis episode they wanted to do with shadowsan (duane said they had to scrap it and im SOOO MAD)

ivy and zack must just have full charisma stats bc i dont know how they keep getting away with blending in literally everywhere. maam thats a white bitch in a wig

i love the three of them immediately sweating their balls off when shadowsan grabs the sword

EVEN THE IMPACT FRAMES ARE COOL

btw the tattoos in this episode are cool i wish more non yakuza members had them

that app on carmen's phone is a gaydar

how long was paper star just sitting in the packaging just going "ooghhh yeah im like a fucking jack in the box im gonna scare her so bad ooogh"

i love the kitty fans

not sure what carmen was going to do with the fans anyway seeing as she doesnt know how to use them as a weapons but whatever

oh nevermind she. i guess does

i love howw carmen just like. rides paper star

girlie has to stop strapping shit to her back it does not work

another one of my favorite shots in the show the lighting is sooo beautiful

i also like how carmen is looking down, not trying to shake her off, reaching a hand down- she doesn't want paper star to fall to her death, obviously

i was like damn how did that little fall knock both of them out cold but paper star LANDED ON HER NECK

PARTIES OVER ELVIS IS GONE

i love the very minimal music when dokuso and shadowsan are fighting its cool

get poisoned

i think they reused the shadowsan poisoned groaning sound twice in a row

anyway also a nice shot here

it seriously looks like paper star was just lying there and as soon as she heard carmen get up she was like oh chill nap time is over

that climbing the ladder animation was so slick

so wait. they predicted? that paper star would not only be hidden in the sword room but latch onto carmen's ankle and follow her all the way up to that roof. so they could glue her

kill kill kill

the anime glasses on dokuso are awesome

out of context it looks like carmen just murdered shadowsan in a swordfight

god the empty room. and then you pan down and shadowsan is kneeling. good shit

MAN what a fantastic scene. he does exactly what shadowsan asks him to- does not forgive him, because he does not yet see a reason to. but he allows him to correct that mistake. what . god what a good rejection of a redemption shadowsan HASN'T redeemed himself (fully) yet it just makes sense

mmm when he appears from behind her and her spidey senses go off. its good shit

just that emotion on her face. she's sympathetic that his brother didn't accept him back, but happy that he'll still go with them on their journey.

now, this is the only time we get a voiceover from carmen (other than when she's talking to crackle in the pilot) and its such a stark choice. like the only time we ever really get an inner monologue from carmen that lets us know how she feels about it

everything about this episode is just so fantastic and different! cs thrives when it dives into character motivations...but it just doesn't do that very much. there are so many unique choices in the episode- from the untraditional infodump scene to the music to the gorgeous animation/lighting to the voiceover to the rejected redemption scene to the hints at shadowsan's true past with carmen...i could keep going on and on about it forever, but I won't. you've seen the episode. its just. argh. its so good

okay that's all from me. hopefully I can get the rest of my cs weeklies out sooner rather than later- im almost done with finals!!

[spark1edog]

i’ve always been open to the constructive aspects of generative ai but there’s a lot of… dissonance. on one hand i understand that all art is derivative and there’s no such thing as true originality but on the other hand, it just irks me to hear the phrase “established AI artist.” like… it just fills me with Questions. and i’m trying to find some kind of middle ground because i’m very prone to instantly being vehemently “anti” or “pro” whatever side of any issue i care about.

i’d like to validate the accessibility point. as much as i say “if you can’t draw but want to be able to draw, you should draw anyway and you will naturally learn how to draw,” i see the other side. someone with tremors or hypermobility or any number of conditions that would disable someone from learning to draw by hand could absolutely find genuine value in ai art. i don’t want to take that away from anyone. i know some people also don’t have the time or energy or motivation to actually learn to draw. that’s also ok, not everyone has to be an artist. and not all artists have to do everything the same way.

learning how to create prompts is a skill, knowing about the model and program that you’re using to generate images is a skill set. i don’t have that skill set. I imagine i could figure it out, but i don’t think that’s intrinsically less valuable than writing a novel or coming up with a concept for art you want to make by hand. all of these are nebulous skills and there’s considerable overlap with what i feel a nudge to call “real art,” but i’ll use “manual art” instead. “real art” is a social construct as much as “real genders”

i hate talking about pricing also, i feel like it makes me seem greedy or self pitying. but i feel like there’s a difference in the amount of labor that goes into making manual vs ai art. i feel like manual artists should be offered more money. but that’s a feeling. there’s nuance. i don’t know enough about that part to draw a conclusion. i come from a place of trying for so, so many years to get anyone to even care about the art i make, let alone spend money on it. i come from a position of never having money as a kid and trying to sell my art so i could get a snack after school, to very little avail. im forever grateful for the handful of people who commissioned me when i was growing up. i think there were three or four. that’s more than a lot of people get.

part of my initial rejection of ai art as Art is that there’s such an audience for it. it’s resentment, but i don’t think i can fairly describe it as a resentment for ai artists or ai art as a concept, it’s a resentment towards the general public attitude towards manual art. the commodification of “gimmicky” things like ai, those “minimalist” faceless traced photos, and basically every successful art trend. resentment from how hard it is to find footing in the art world at all, especially as someone who often falls into slumps, therefore falling out of algorithmic favor and my reach being obliterated from not posting constantly. i don’t hate ai art on its own, and i certainly don’t hate the artists. but i hate how easy it is to make ai art. how even though it takes a few minutes to generate, you get 10x the result of hours of my work process. i resent the fact that i have to worry about it drowning out my and my peers’ work from the feeds of people who might resonate with it. i hate the circumstances that make ai art a “”threat.””

i hope this makes sense, it’s 4am and i took my meds a couple hours ago so im sleepy but. i had some thoughts.

[eomma-jpeg]

for the ask game, sorry if these have already been asked!

8, 10, 14, 17, 25, 27+28 :)

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

i already answered this, but what a shame! it is my college au and this first "book" is gonna be about the vashmeryl relationship coming to fruition, and the sequel will be them working through some loooong time trauma and issues, but together !

10. what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

oh months, certainly. i have wips and drafts rn that are just sitting.... waiting for me to return LOL

i try to go back and finish the chunks i have and not leave them like,,, halfway done, but i do have a vashmeryl wip i started.... over a year ago? and still have not finished it lol

14. where do you get your inspiration?

honestly from other media i watch. i'm currently planning out a trigun dancer au and i was motivated because of Strictly Ballroom, a silly Baz Lurhman movie (please watch it the romance is so cute and it takes itself so seriously)

also from my friends !!! @squid789 is such a good person to bounce ideas off of and has inspired (i stole her ideas) a few aus

17. talk about your writing and editing process

so... ideally i do what i did for in the meadow where I wrote and wrote and wrote,,, and then just constantly went over chapters with edits and rewrites until it was time to post.

with itm i was always at least 3 chapters ahead and had the time to go back and check through chapters, make sure everything flowed well, ensure continuity... but with my newer works it hasn't been like that.

I have good grammar and spelling in general and i also use The Internet to write on so it gets spell checked, but i don't take nearly as much time to edit my work as i'd like to anymore

im a sleepy teacher who just wants to post her fanfiction T-T

25. besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

alright!

so i love doing embroidery. im currently working on a cross stitch project that has been very relaxing

i love to sing. i cannot express to yall how much i love singing. it is seriously my favorite thing to do. i love music and expressing my feelings through song. i lovvvvvvvvvvve to sing (im pretty good too hehe)

i sew and draw (SOMETIMES) and i cook. i do a lot of things! i love to explore just various arts and crafts

27. your favorite part of the writing process

i just love creating. i love putting ideas on the page and getting the content that i want... because i love the writing of others (and i do apologize) but there is always something that isn't for me

but thats because it wasn't written for me!! it was written for the author

and thats why i write,,,, because i want something specific

and i love romance and it gives me the power to make my blorbos kiss >:)

28. your least favorite part of the writing process

putting the ideas on the page T-T

im a bit stuck right now with what a shame mostly because i keep doubting myself WHOOPS

but its so hard when i cant decide with idea will be best

IMPORTANT LACE ADVICE: it doesn't matter what idea you get down, just get something down. once you have something down, you can change it or decide if you even still want it. the hurdle is getting the idea down!

thanks goo !!!!

[joy-drops]

this mf long so don't tell me i didn't warn u

been in a rut for over a year

something something autistic burnout

idk the cause or the solution

just trying to survive each day as best i can

easier said than done when everything that brings me joy (ha) is behind a pay wall

that's capitalism baby~

found out fauna is going to the only anime convention i can attend on a reasonable budget.... but im already so broke....

I'd shell out the cash (debt) if it meant guaranteeing a spot at the meet and greet but they might not release info until too late when plane tickets are unaffordable ;_;

i wanna look forward to something because sustaining my sanity on retail therapy and getting high definitely is losing its effectiveness

brain always returns to the loneliness. i know its crippling but how much of my struggle is from that and how much is from my disability... they're both invisible which makes it hard to tell

would having a partner help that much? my gut tells me yes since ill have motivation to live if i have someone to share existence with but that feels like putting all my eggs in one basket and setting myself up for an unhealthy relationship

i like to think i won't fall down that path of toxic codependency like i have in the past tho im not crazy confident based on my track record

Which reminds me I've realized how appealing polyamory sounds to me but I'm terrible in groups I feel like I'd be overwhelmed with more than 3 (including myself) tho who knows what can happen

REGARDLESS i guess i gotta talk to people and make friends since i am incapable of socializing with the intention of dating (trust issues yippee)

i wish i had a crush at the very least. i bring this up often but i fucking miss the feeling of legitimate interest and attraction towards someone

How do I meet someone, become comfortable enough with them, and ultimately find a partnership that satisfies my insane desires???? maybe I'm putting the cart before the horse? Tackling too much at once? Something like that...

Imma be real the only reason I'm active on here is another mechanism to cope with this loneliness (akin to listening to asmr for instant happy brain juice + with the added benefit of "putting myself out there")

My strange fantasy that I'll meet people on here like I did years ago and magically hit it off

AAAAAAUGGHHHHH how did I do it back then it seemed so easy what happened to my social skills (trauma, probably)

How is it I work 2 days a week and am still drained constantly? when will I be free from sleepy bitch syndrome? it's like I've been running on fumes for the past year WHEN WILL I HAVE THE WILL TO LIVE AGAIN

i miss having someone to talk to frequently about everything

i have my besties but unfortunately knowing there's no sexual or romantic attraction there makes it hard for me to get past these barriers?? Is that weird? I wanna be able to be intimate with someone and close but for me that's intrinsically tied to sex and romance. I'm overflowing with platonic friendships to the point where I had to cut off a bunch and leave many people I care about hanging because I simply have no energy to exist anymore

I've been doing my best each day but it only gets harder

The only thing I have energy for is getting high and living inside the fantasies my brain can muster as a means to cope with how lonely I am

I dream of being hugged, of someone touching me, of being accepted for all my flaws and reassured that my existence isn't shameful. I live for the day these might become reality

Since as long far back as highschool I've yearned for intimacy

Physical intimacy specifically since the most I've done is hold hands and lil cute things like that I CRAVE SKINSHIP UNLIKE ANYTHING ELSE

Anyway if anybody made it this far hi feel free to confess ur undying love 2 me

[smoosnoom]

hiii!

moon i’ve already mentioned that i cried like a baby right? it’s never too late to mention it once again bc im not a crybaby and u need to know how u make me feel.

“Winter is slow. It makes him slower than he likes to be” ohhh somebody is projecting once again i see.

do i have to admit now that i probably would enjoy tomato concoction? at least the thing that google showed me

““Don’t say his name,”” what did will do? 🤔

“It’s too early to go to bed. It’s too dark to do anything fun” no literally. the reason winter is my least favorite season.

“Why he’s still thinking about him” he was ur best friend for more than 10 years. ofc u think about him. i bet u think about him every day.

“Mike has never liked thinking” i guess terrible pick up lines not the only thing we have in common with mike

“wisely holding back the fact he probably hasn’t eaten a vegetable in several days” maybe he should try dustin’s tomato dish

“It’s only eight p.m. when his head hits the pillow, and he’s out like a light” honestly? it’s me rn. im not that sleepy but if my head hit pillow i’ll pass out

“he’s beginning to wonder if all the women in his life weightlift in their free time” or maybe just maybe he needs to eat properly

““Someone already wrote about Hannibal.”” LMFAO

“El lets out a sniffle” oh she’s a Manipulator

““Hi,” Will says” the first time he was mentioned by the name and its like.. the middle of the first chapter?

“Mike’s head feels a little bit like it’s been replaced by a tumble of rocks” not for the first time

“because he is an abomination who likes fries dipped in milkshakes” another reason to trust in tomato concoction 🫡

“Mike would bet countless amounts of money that El’s hands are perfectly clean” she’s evil in a good way and i love that about her <3

“The garage is cold and dark when they step out” oh no?? it feels like a good and a bad thing at the same time

““Because you never did!”” so they’re two idiots again?

“”how is this all my fault? Why am I the bad guy?”” ???? oh…

have i ever mentioned why i haven’t listened “evermore” properly? it cause i decided to listen the day it dropped and i was crying so hard i skipped my classes. so yeah i think i feel the right vibe.

and “about you” is my now love. i listen to it since the album was released and i can’t help having butterflies.

so glad that spirits that possess u until u write something didn’t calm down and now we have that heart-wrenching masterpiece <3

can’t wait till the next chapter!

love u, bye 🤍

hellooo alya i am finally . replying to this because u are Crazy .

😭 im so sorry for making u cry ,, if it helps . it was unintentional !

IT WASNT ENTIRELT PROJECTING . actually a lot of it was ok winter makes me so sluggish ☹️

i am Not a fan of tomato . u can have my tomato portions all u want 🍅

yes !!! winter sucks !!!!!!!! u get me

"i bet u think about him everyday" 😭😭 going after his THROAT oh my god

if it helps . ur pick up lines are so bad that they're charming ! :)

omg like popeye he eats a single vegetable and suddenly becomes So Buff

yes !!!! i wanted the first time will's name is mentioned to be Very Special

U LIKE FRIES AND MILKSHAKES ??*=($*÷(÷(÷ ALYA

el using her cuteness for Evil she's everything to me

they're two idiots again ☹️

oh no 😭😭 u are So real for that evermore evokes emotion in me that i can't even describe !!! and I LOVEEEEE ABOUT YOU omg do u also like the 1975 ? im such a big fan of them !!!!!

alya im 29929219% sure if i searched up Nicest Sweetest Best Person in the World, ur name would pop up

ilysm, thank u always for motivating me :] <3

[snow-and-saltea]

aaaaaa had a rough couple of days. im gonna just start writing about them here under the cut so i can verbalize what i went through

i couldn't sleep well for the past few days, like running on naps and 2-3 hours of sleep or smth, and 2 or 3 days ago i crashed and slept for a full day. and i felt so guilty. it was funny because i wouldn't feel guilty if i was alone; i felt guilty bc i was afraid i was gonna get yelled at and stuff, smth abt not being able to win either way even if i do sleep or not, so i figure id better choose to not sleep and appear energetic, visible and action oriented so my mom doesnt figure out im slipping back into a breakdown

anyways. i remember being really weirded out bc ive always associated that heavy sleepiness with me taking my sleepy meds, which ive not been taking on purpose for a few months now (unless i really need them, once or twice a month randomly). so ive been just running on manic anxious energy just to keep myself appearing functioning so no one will have anything to criticise me for and i think i dipped so much into the manic i became extremely paranoid, being deeply misanthropic, hating my friends for not knowing how badly im hurting despite not telling them explicitly that im hurting, feeling alone and scared, easily scared and on edge from sounds and stuff, not being able to calm down and relax bc of the imagery in my head.

then i realised i was obsessively making myself feel paranoid by rereading texts, interpreting someone's probably innocent motives badly, etc etc. so i decided to uninstall the thing so that i physically would only be able to do that behaviour on my computer, which i rarely use to actually talk to people + me being tired makes me lazy to exert the energy to make conscious decisions to open the computer, type in my password, open the app, wait for it to load, and do the thing. theres a lot more steps in between so theres a lot more chances for me to turn away to do something different, and bc im already very tired just thinking of all those steps demotivates me from wanting to do it, even though my manic paranoid brain wants me to. self manipulation ftw

it was really hard to talk. it felt like everything i said or wrote came off as so flat and curt that i was always worried that i came off as angry bc i know how i usually sound more... energetic. or emotive. everything i say sounds sarcastic even though i mean in a neutral way, i just don't have the energy to consciously control my tone to make sure people know im harmless. i just don't have the energy to maintain social niceties bc it feels like there's so much information to juggle.

i think its also like. i mean ive talked about it in therapy before but i have some sort of... compulsion? or obsession? with being "consistent" in my personality or behaviour. means if i had a bad day i dont wanna behave like i had a bad day. i want to behave like nothing happened to me, because it feels too revealing and opens me up for targeted insults when i unintentionally let people know (through my behaviour) that im having a bad day, and in the case of my parents, itll devolve into them trying to fix me, feeling frustrated that they can't. so i just dont let them know so we don't have to reheat that soup again. i do that by appearing peppy, pretending ive got the message they were trying to teach me and learned the lesson, put myself down before they can, etc. and even just saying that and writing that down that my behaviours are intentional, i already feel So vulnerable bc it feels as though im now inviting scrutiny. i already feel like i want to fuss around w my fingers bc i want to do something. i feel so weird. i kind of want to crawl back into my skin

and im so sensitive to slights and any signal of rejection from friends that at any small sign i think someone doesn't really care but is being nice, i shut down. i think im quite sensitive to that. its so... difficult to let other people take care of me. to entrust themselves to their care, bc i worry that they're not going to care for me as much as i care for me in the places im tender at, and its really scary to just have to do that without any single preparation of what to do if i get my feelings hurt in the process but i feel like itll be insulting or disrespectful to the other person's efforts of helping me. bc i want to be nice to them. and reciprocate. but it's difficult. and i don't know what to do other than just try to see them in good faith cus beggars can't be choosers, so i cant comment on any care i get cus i don't get a lot of it. i guess

hmm. this is very uncomfortable to talk about. i feel very pathetic. but at least i put it out here so that's something i guess. writing all of this out, this really emphasizes the reason i can't talk to friends about it. its so heavy and intense. no one asked to carry that weight, not even me. how could i ever put this burden on someone else i care about. i think id rather die

sorry that was a shitty note to end on, i don't think i can force a positive conclusion out of this. my head hurts from crying so im gonna get some water

[pearlsofthec]

hi girl i really need to vent to someone about this… im currently in my first year of college and i’m taking a bachelor that i really love and feel like it’s meant for me. but nevertheless i struggle to bring myself to study - im a very lazy person and i feel like i do my best only under pressure. but that gives me so much stress and its not healthy to my body. i know that laziness is my weak point but sometimes i feel guilty about not studying because “im not feeling it” and i always have to rush myself.

whats your experience with uni? do you have any advice for me? thank you feel free not to respond if you dont feel like it ❤️❤️❤️

Hii I'm glad you sent me this message because I honestly go through the same procrastination rabbit hole during exams seasons, and even though I don't know if I can offer you a solution, I can at least say I totally understand where you're coming from!

I'm not exactly cured from this, but a few things have helped me work through it, and I'm gonna share them with the hopes they could help you too! SO, first of all, although it may sound completely unrelated, changing my diet actually increased my focus so so much. Last year, my diet consisted mainly of carbs, bad, easy to get carbs, which not only end up making you look unhealthy, but also feel sluggish. I knew how eating would always make me feel sleepy, so I would just postergate having any as much as I could, drink a lot of caffeine, eat a completely unbalanced dinner and sleep almost immediately. In theory that sounds somewhat practical, but when I tell you I could not focus or be productive at all while doing this crazy routine I mean it. Staying consistent in your work also means staying consistent in other parts of your life, so I definitely would recommend working out your health routine in coordination of your study routine! I wrote about the food situation, but that alone would have made a fraction of the difference I've felt having solved both that problem and organizing a consistent physical activity schedule (I do 1h of pilates/ yoga 4-6 times a week!).

I also had to get in my head that there will never be a perfect time to study. I'll never feel like studying, I'll never be in the mood to read a book about the conservation of architecture or do three hours worth of physics exercises, so I stimulate myself with the thought that though there is no perfect moment, this could be the as perfect as it gets moment, and just force myself to do it. I think more than anything, it's important not to fall into the trap of only working when you feel motivated, and create a work routine that's tied to your habits. There's this portuguese saying my mom always tells me "The "perfect" is the "good"'s enemy", and though it may sound crazy, it kind of makes sense... sometimes you procrastinate so much trying to achieve perfection, that you forget that a good result, is far more valuable than a well intentioned unfinished one.

There are probably more things, but I think I've already bored you enough! I'm sure you're gonna get there, let me know <3

XX

[elysianslove]

the little things ; haikyuu boys

synopsis; the little things he does that show just how much he loves you

pairings; karasuno x reader, aoba johsai x reader, fukurodani x reader, nekoma x reader, shiratorizawa x reader

genre; fluff

warnings; will make u hate being single <3

karasuno ━━

sugawara koshi; whenever your hair gets caught in anything, he’s so gentle yet quick at fixing it. if your hair is long, and you pull a bag or a shirt and your hair gets tucked in, he’ll wordlessly pull it out. if your hair is short and a bracelet or zipper gets caught he just continues whatever he was doing (talking to someone else for e.g.) while helping you out. also always makes sure your hair isn’t bothering you; if you’re leaning over writing something, he’ll always tuck it behind your ear so lovingly ahhh

daichi sawamura; massages. he’s descended from heaven for this purpose only. his hands are rough and like hard on your muscles, but it’s so perfect. he’ll approach you when you’re in school sitting anywhere, from behind, and just knead his hands into your muscles for a few seconds. euphoric. or if you live together, he always greets you with back/shoulder/neck massages in the bathtub hvjkwkd.

nishinoya yuu; always makes you try his food. always. whether it’s with a group of people or just you two, he just goes “hey babe open ur mouth” with this face 😏 bc he’s cheeky, and just shoves a mouthful of food. spoiler alert, it’s always way too hot. but it’s just tradition at this point. he takes a bite of his food, decides if it’s worthy enough for your mouth or not, then just. yeah.

kageyama tobio; buys you a snack whenever he gets his milk. if you’re special special, he’ll buy you your own carton of milk. he goes up to the vending machine and automatically thinks of you when he sees your fave snack, and it’s like mindless at this point he just routinely does it. it still surprises you to this day, even when he’s so nonchalant about it.

tsukishima kei; kisses your forehead. tsukki is not too big on pda, and even privately he’s not very touchy feely either tbh. but just a simple peck on your forehead grounds you, and it’s a small reminder of the fact that despite his outward coldness, he really does love you. he rarely does it in front of others, but sometimes, he’ll indulge both you and him, and settle a small kiss on your temple just randomly.

asahi azumane; anime jesus always has a hair tie/clip carried around for you on his wrist/in his pockets. i mean he’s always needing them, he just stocks up when he starts dating you. somehow he’s always there when you’re frustrated with your hair all over the place what a savior. later on it evolves to him carrying around your scrunchie and yes the boys make fun yes he blushes but no he does not take it off.

tanaka ryunosuke; carries you on his back, or your things, when you’re too tired to walk. whether that be if you’re too tired because of your heels or you’re just lazy, he just loves helping you out what a respectful gentleman. honestly it just becomes that every time he sees you he like barricades over to you so quick and flips you onto his shoulder or spins you around. anyways. walking with tanaka means walking empty handed bc he will never let you carry anything. ( shifts pile of bags on one arm just to hold your hand ).

hinata shoyo; learns hairstyles to try on you. whether it be short hair or long hair, expect his youtube search history to look a lot like “how to make a french braid” or “cute hairstyles for short hair for your cute girlfriend”. he’s always so entranced by you and watches so carefully whenever you do anything on your hair, and he gets do excited whenever you let him try and he gets it right. also !!! a lot of the times you’ll sit between his legs and he’ll just softly card his fingers through your hair or lightly braid it.

yamaguchi tadashi; buys you flowers a lot. he doesn’t overdo it, just so it doesn’t lose its value and worth. but for example, mondays suck ass and he knows how much you hate them, so he always makes sure to either leave a single rose on your desk/in your locker or give it to you himself if he can. it’s so endearing and motivating honestly, and the constant reminder every once in a while is so cute. continues to do it even like 3 years in, which is so fkn sweet honestly.

nekoma ━━

kuroo tetsurō; plans the best dates. seriously. like not one moment spent with him is dull. i don’t think being with kuroo entails a high energy relationship, i just mean that even a walk in the park is fun with him. he also always knows when to plan a fancy dinner and when it’s just something casual. like he always puts in so much effort, gives 120%, for every date with you. is your favorite band/singer/artist in town? he’s got tickets. the weather is amazing? you’re going to the beach. you’re sleep deprived? nap dates. 10/10

kozume kenma; he teaches you how to play his games. the fact that he’s letting you touch the console in itself says enough, but whenever he buys a new one, and learns it thoroughly enough, he will always sit by you and teach you its ways. picture you sitting in his lap while he guides your hands <333 if you’re not a gamer, he’s actually v flattered by the fact you’re willing to sit through this w him. but if you are a gamer, expect daily competitions. oh and if you beat him? you’re dead to him :).

haiba lev; instead of reaching for things that you’re too short for to grab it himself, he just lifts you up lmfao. i mean w the way he teases yaku, i can imagine he’d be v teasing with you as well if you’re even an inch shorter than him. but fret not! it’s all in the name of love. he’s very loving though, and if he sees you struggling he’ll just wordlessly hoist you up from your waist or something. at first it’s terrifying, but later on it just makes you giggle cause he’s like so willing to do it and it’s effortless for him hehe.

yaku morisuke; always makes sure you’re taking care of yourself, but kinda aggressively? lmao anyways. like he’s always “babe have u eaten” and if u say no expect him to start yelling like “what do you mean no??? are you insane???” v dramatic but honestly <333 he’s always texting you after parting ways “did you get home safe” or on weekends where he cant meet you, he’s asking how it was, if you indulged yourself a bit, relaxed. it’s very sweet and he makes sure it’s not overbearing. he just wants his baby to be healthy and happy.

yamamoto taketora; walks on the side with the cars. it’s not a very noticeable thing, but you see it, and you recognize it. he makes sure he’s always walking where cars are speeding by, a hand on the small of your back guiding you away and to the other side of him. it’s the little notions of protectiveness like if he’s driving and stops suddenly, he’ll put a hand out to keep you from lurching forward, he pushes you gently out of the way before you bump into someone. things like that.

aoba johsai ━━

oikawa tōru; he doodles in your notebooks, or on your skin. if you have class with him, and sit next to him, he’ll always be doodling on your notebook like little hearts or stupid, cute things like your initials + his in a heart. or if you’re at a study date together, and you’re focused on your laptop screen, he’ll leave little encouraging messages on your notes for you to notice when you’re revising. sometimes you’ll be sitting with him at lunch or even if you’re out w him and a bunch of other people, and he happens to have a pen. expect a little smiley face on your inner wrist, or a heart plus his initials ( o.t. )

iwaizumi hajime; he helps you take off your make up/takes it off for you. if you’re too sleepy, he’ll just take the products he’s used to seeing you use and start following it step by step after he props you up next to the sink. while he stands between your thighs he just so gently starts rubbing at your skin and washing away the make up. if you’re already asleep, he’ll have to like google the steps oh my god im gonna cry hes so cute. if you don’t necessarily wear make up, then he’ll just help you do your nightly routine, or even your shower routine, like using a body scrub or a face mask or, bruh, even shaving lmfao.

hanamaki takahiro; saves everything you buy/send/make him. i mean everything. has literally over two thousand photos of you, all the polaroids or postcards are saved in a little box he has under his bed. anything you make him (unless it’s edible) he has. if you make him a small embroidery thing he will literally attach it to his sports bag or something. any chain you make him is automatically added to his keychain. that flower crown you made with him on one of your first dates? he still has it. the flowers are dead but the memory loves babyyyy

matsukawa issei; carries extra clothes of his for you to borrow. hey have i mentioned that mattsun is big? 😃 because he is 😃. meaning regardless of your size or height or whatever, his clothes will drown you <3 i see him as preferring more oversized or just loose shirts rather than tight ones, so yk. on you???? if y’all are just hanging out and you even think about being slightly cold — here have five options of mattsun’s clothes to choose from. he always makes sure they smell like him too. it’s self indulgent really, because he loves the way they look on you, and he loves that it leaves a trace of his scent on you. territorial? i think yes.

fukurodani ━━

bokuto kōtarō; always hugs you like it’s the last time he’ll see you. sometimes, even if he doesn’t know it, you need his hugs badly. y’all are gonna try and tell me bokuto doesn’t give the best fkn hugs??? yeah get outta here with that bs. he SO does. he either kneels down and wraps his arms around your waist, picks you up, and spins you around, like he hasn’t seen you in 3 years, or he’ll just wrap his arms around your neck and pull your head to his chest, cradling it, and just sighing like he won’t see you for the next 3 years. his hugs always make you feel so much better, even if you weren’t feeling down to begin with.  

akaashi keiji; plays with your hands and caresses them. it’s the delicate feel and gentleness of it all. akaashi’s generally an anxious person, leaving him very fidgety. but once you two get together, and he starts being comfortable with you, expect to find your hand always between the two of his, just fondling with him. he’ll trace random figurines on the back of your hand, or have his fingers ghost over your wrist and up to your fingertips. if his hands are especially shaky, expect him to just grab one of your yours and hold it tightly between the grasp of two of his. it conveys trust, and all you have to do is kiss his knuckles gently and he’s melting.

konoha akinori; he has your reminders app linked with his, and sneaks in small, motivating messages. every once in a while you’ll get a notification from the app that tells you to drink water or have a snack (or text konoha he’s bored and he misses you). also always sends you pictures to distract you from stress. like it could literally just be a picture of him smiling with a thumbs up and you’d just ,,, melt bc you love him so much.

shiratorizawa ━━

ushijima wakatoshi; he has so many plants that are named after you, or your nicknames, and he’s like so gentle with them too. like strokes their petals and speaks to them so softly, the same way he does with you. you’re honestly so curious how he hasn’t run out of names, but he’s just a genius like that. whenever you go over to his place, and he’s bought a new one, he’ll take your hand and guide you to where it’s growing and just be like “look it’s baby y/n” and you just 🥺🥺🥺

semi eita; he has a playlist on his phone, that’s constantly being updated, for you and him to listen to. the first time he showed it to you, you were stargazing and he took out his phone and headphones and was like “i made a playlist for you wanna list” and every part of your body lit up in flames im not joking. now, a lot of the times, you’re coming back home on a train, and your head is on his shoulder and you’re sharing headphones listening to the playlist. when either one of you is driving you’re blasting it (a lot of the playlist is the hsm soundtrack)

satori tendō; tendo reads people so well, and being in a relationship with him means he will read you so well. so a lot of the times, in social situations, he’ll recognize the signs of you wanting to leave, for example, or if someone’s bothering you, he’ll know exactly how to approach it too. this also entails having a lotta inside jokes hehe, and also just like. talking with your eyes. yk that thing. yeah. all you have to do is look at him a certain way, and he just knows exactly what you just said.

goshiki tsutomu; he buys the both of you this small plushie, and whenever you’re missing each other you just. squish it. and he squishes his. he would rather die than let anyone know this, but you’re not too keen on letting anyone know yourself tbh. it’s just this little thing you have, and it means a lot more to you than just this. when he first bought it he was like “look we have matching plushies” and you passed away on the spot ❤️

shirabu kenjirō; loves trying out new recipes with you. he’s not too big on cooking or baking, but there’s just something about doing it with you that really — hits the spot yk. nowadays, whenever he comes across a new recipe on social media that he thinks you’ll like he just automatically sends it to you like with no words no texts just the post and you’re like “OMG CAN WE DO THIS” and he’s like “why else would i send it. yes we can :)” hvskwkeke

end note;  thank you sm for the love on my last two posts!! i’m glad you guys enjoyed them sm. if you have any requests, they’re open and i’m happy to deliver, mwah!