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#its just controlling me and idk how to stop i feel like i need to talk about this with people but i feel like i have 1 or 2 people i can
perilegs · 9 months
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ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion
#ngl karlach would be too good for me and i wouldnt deserve it#shed probably ask me stuff like 'what do you want?' upon which i would be paralyzed with fear my mind completely blank unable#to process why i can't answer a simple question#and she's so up front with her emotions which i absolutely adore but i could not reciprocate that#wait am i actually for real avoiding the karlach romance bc i feel like this fictional character from a video game is too good for me#a real human being. like. i think i would feel guilty about romancing her#which makes no sense bc i romance characters too good for anyone all of the time. but idk#in those cases ive always had like a strong character i play as who is very divorced from who i am#but playing as durge there is no past so idk who my tav is yet so all i can do is project so he feels very. personal#im v sleepy and also ive had brain fog all day so yea idk#i mean i do genuinely like astarion and his character but in his case i dont feel guilty bc i feel like i#i have no idea how to finish that sentence without it sounding like 'i can fix him'#bc i dont want to fix him i want to show him compassion and respect him and his boundaries so he'll be able to reclaim tje feeling of#being in control of his life#so he'll stop putting people down to feel like hes on a pedestal#like i get him and why he is like that but i just feel like being kind and caring towards him would feel so good#it wouldnt fix him and thats a good thing bc i dont want him to change who he is but i do think he needs support#also hes hot im so mad at myself for being so atteacted to him#we wouldnt b here if i didnt have a thing for voices#besides thag back to the main point of astarion its like. ugh! im so frustrated rn bc i dont have the words#to express my emotions toward him bc everything ive said lacks the nuance that im feelikg but idk how to put it in words#i guess i want to protect him? that such a terrible sentence and still not what om going for
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mewtwo24 · 5 days
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You know reading vol 5 of mdzs before all the rest (don't ask me why I'm a clown and there were Circumstances) has to be the craziest experience of my life. Because it took all of ten minutes of wwx talking to literally hit me so hard in the gut I had to sit down and listen to really loud music for a while to calm down.
Who needs therapy when mxtx is alive and writing, I guess????? 🤡
Can't wait to get to the actual tragic parts I just know I'm gonna be that "help" frog phone meme
#mdzs#i was really out here thinking svsss would be my fave bc of lbh#and then i finally get around to reading mdzs and it blows my expectations out of the fucking water holy actual shit#and i just had this feeling the first time i read parts of it like 'oh. this series is going to kill me. im not coming back from this.'#and here i am booboo the fool getting my clown ass make-up on#idk how to explain it like i just fucking LOVE mxtx's takes on arrogance#that wwx is constantly being perceived as a show off and an incorrigible flirt and a know it all#how wwx cant always help the ways he acts out the desperation that has embedded itself into his very bones#how wwx only ever wanted to do the right thing and that having been so much of his downfall#how his worth and talent would always be eclipsed by virtue of his circumstances#how he's above needing recognition at his core but at the same time longs for an ounce of good will and positive recognition ->#how human he is despite his brilliance. how he never gets it no matter how hard he tries to be worthy.#like to me wwx is emblematic of what it means to be poor/an immigrant in high places#always villified always alien always wrong always unwelcome#no matter how clever or capable or kind youll always be an eyesore because you don't 'act right'. not 'one of them.' you never will be.#i just...the way he just wanted it all to be over by the end. the way he didnt even want to come back to life. that he was sick of it all.#im rattling the bars of my cage i love him I LOVE HIM i love him#i understand you lan wangji (and i love lwj too)#and even lan wangji too like. the way so many of their issues in the beginning stems from that self-same problem#how lwj couldn't live with his out of control feelings how he too couldn't quite lay down his pride#how lwj was also trapped by the expectations of his clan in his own way how so much of their separation was a form of penance#that the calamity of wwx's loss forced him to reconsider everything he thought he knew about himself and his life#how he was left with nothing but regret. how when wwx returns--lwj refuses to leave anything to chance this time#he refuses to let wwx be alone anymore--refuses to let him hurt himself for the sake of others refuses to just let it all happen#even if it means overstepping a boundary or propriety it doesn't matter--as long as wwx stays with him. pride be damned#god i just can't i just can't do it im biting im ripping things apart GOD#will also say the jokes about lwj being like. 'strict moral compass or BUST.' and then wwx literally committing like 17 felonies in the bg#while lwj is like 'crimes? what crimes. nothing to see here.' NEVER stops being funny. like i was pissing myself laughing#i know its a known trope but by god are they hilarious about it#also. lan qiren how many times do your nephews have to go catatonic for you to stop with the catholic guilt and repression
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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iridescentspacewhale · 6 months
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hah
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kil9 · 2 years
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yknow im just gona start saying i have a professional autism diagnosis because one of those doctor bitches was like "well if we still diagnosed aspergers i would say you're that, but we dont, so" & when im like "yeah but the reason you dont diagnose it anymore is because it's now included in autism which would just mean i have autism right?" and he changed the subject lmao 🤨
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snekdood · 1 year
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Vaush almost seems manipulative in the way he talks about religion, like i feel very strongly that he doesn't actually think religion is *quite* as bad as something like toxic masculinity but he wants his audience to feel that way, so he keeps drawing comparisons between religion and all these other fucked up things like antisemities or whatever, to give the impression to his audience that he genuinely thinks its that serious, and knowing how a lot of ppl can be in his audience, whatever vaush thinks they decide to take as like the best most intellectually and well thought out take ever, no self analyzing, no questions asked, and i feel like hes manipulating that fact to his advantage, he literally said in his debate w oceankeltoi (which i wasnt gonna watch but did eventually bc i heard vaush kinda sucked in it (and he did)) that hes okay with using peer pressure to try to discourage people from being religious. It seems like hes going to try whatever he can socially to like. Shun anyone whos religious or any of their beliefs and is probably even totally okay with ppl bullying religious ppl so long as the social pressure gets people to stop. Which. Uh. I feel like i shouldnt have to say is a pretty fucked up philosophy
#you are already putting too much work to control ppl just existing#social. political. systemic. wherever you're putting this energy to control it will only end badly.#anyways this whole stuff kinda made me look at him in an entirely different light.#i think hes become too convinced hes always right and has got really into his ass. idk if hes changed since that debate tho bc#i stopped watching him for a while even before it#the problem w that debate is that vaush is doing the thing where hes actually debating the beliefs of certain audience members#whereas ocean is actually just trying to debate him specifically w/o changing the audiences mind quite as much#oceans here trying to understand vaush and vaush is just here to try to make ocean look stupid. not actually understand or come to a#mutual understanding or literally anything. idk. but its pretty frustrating how he devolved to JUST doing that in debates.#hes decided religious ppl are evil or whatever and thus refuses to meet ocean on an equal and respectful level. theres so much lack#of respect here.#i also sorta feel like vaushs 'what about those ppl who think their gods are always in the right' thing was bc perhaps one of his audience#members decided to screenshot one of my posts where i said 'ppl need to accept that their gods arent inherently good' but accidently#typed are instead of arent and idk. maybe its a reach to decide thats why he brought that up but yknow. i do sometimes feel like yall#(hi vaushs community whos probably stalking me online bc i used to be in the community and you think im cringe bc i love#my main boy shiv)#well. ig obviously i feel like some of yall stalk me to poke fun at me and prolly posted that in his discord or smthn#idk but. its gotta stop if its happening bc im literally just some guy#I WANT TO MAKE CLEAR THAT I DONT THINK VAUSH IS ABUSIVE BC IDK HIM LIKE THAT AND CANT MAKE THAT CLAIM#just bc someones being manipulative does not make them ABUSIVE which is a whole different and bigger step towards Bad
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arthur-kingsmen · 2 years
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stressing and agonizing and pulling my hair out and screaming
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anethum-etcetera · 3 months
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.
#i wish i had any fucking chill at all#i am so fucking aggressive about how i feel and i fucking hate it#every single part of me wants to break everything around me and scream and cry until my throat is raw#over literally nothing.#this time over stupid video game#once over an argument in my head#sometimes over a conversation going poorly#and instead of the catharsis of busting my knuckles and skull open and breaking my teeth on every object in a 10 ft radius#i break one thing i dont have the time or energy to fix right now. and feel like shit about it.#so now im sitting here writing this out and shaking like a fucking nervous mutt trying my best to...what exactly#minimize property damage#try to impose discipline#act like i have any control over how my body functions#the dumbest part of this is now i have a pretty decent idea on how to repair joycons and procontrollers and how to troubleshoot and#what bits need to fit with others and what specifically is annoying to put together. i wonder if i would have more control if i#didnt enjoy putting stuff back together. its almost like a sick incentive. like i act like garbage and then fix it and get dopamine about it#i need therapy. moreso i need someone to talk at i think. i wanna get drunk and complain and not have to act like i have a plan#biggest thing is i cant sleep. but fixing that is the plan i still dont have and at this point may never achieve. i feel like a failure.#fuck#at least I've stopped shaking and now am just depressed. maybe i should just play games i don't think about until side order comes out. idk
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strawbebyjam · 8 months
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(,:
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gaystardykeco · 10 months
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becoming abundantly clear that the less i socialize with ppl the worse im getting at it and the worse i get at it the less i socialize with ppl
#its just so frustrating bc like now i have few enough conversations with ppl that i really can spend hours obsessing over each one#and then i can find all the missteps i made and things i said wrong and just fixate on them for hours and hours#and really its on me bc i should be able to have friendly conversation without fucking up this much every time#but its just exhausting like i really do just need to isolate fully as painful as it may be bc my social skills are just getting worse#and its at the point where subjecting other ppl to them will ultimately only make them annoyed with me or disappointed in me#idk i know this all sounds silly im just tired of being so selfish and not having better control of what i say#like i think so hard all the time about how i can be a better friend and talk about myself less and then i get the chance to and just...don#i just feel like theres smth fundamentally wrong with me where the person i am is just not someone ppl want to be around#and no matter how hard i try to fix it i just end up right back here again#i feel like ppl think i stopped talking to them bc i didnt want to talk to them but thats really not it at all#i just dont feel like i can have other ppl in my life without eventually hurting them or having them regret choosing to know me#i just feel like looking back at any year of my life is looking back at so many ppl that are so much happier now that im not in their lives#and that hurts so bad and i dont know how to not be that person anymore
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sleyu · 9 months
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thinking about how mean!bf sirius would have a hugeee corruption kink, he just wants to ruin your mind yk
idk maybe its just me
i think mean or not, it is definite that sirius black has a corruption kink and it unquestionably couples with his possessive nature.
just imagine mean bf ! sirius meeting you for the first time. you’re a timid, but undoubtedly kind individual who is meek next to him—fully aware of sirius’ notoriety in his personality and habits. he becomes so awestruck, he has nothing to respond to your unassuming questions aside from the occasional nod or gentle murmur.
he displays a calm, relatively friendly aura until the pair of you begin to become acquainted with each other and ultimately, begin dating. it is only then, that the mean teasing and snickers begin, and his heart bursts with joy at the sound of your bashful whines and protests every time he playfully slaps your ass or tugs your skirt, laughing and pulling you close to him, muttering how his actions are all in good fun and that he’d never let anything actually hurt you.
‘so bloody sensitive. y’know i’d rather die than let someone lay a hand on you, dummy.’
and of course, sirius isn’t stupid. he’s been having lewd, perverted thoughts about you since the day he met you. in fact, it was only the same night that sirius cast a silencing charm around his bed to hide the sinful sounds of him grunting as he fisted his cock, thoughts about bending you over the classroom desk polluting his already depraved mind.
since you’ve started dating, he reckons it’s time to manifest these fantasies into life, especially after noticing how your meek gaze has begun to linger on his broad chest and widen at the sight of his bulging crotch. his inner self beams with joy and crude anticipation every time he feels you pawing at his thighs, looking up at him in despair as if you’re unsure of what you really want or why the throbbing ache in between your thighs is only getting worse.
i think mean bf ! sirius would definitely become dizzy at the sight of you on your knees, hands gripping his muscular thighs, begging him to let you suck his cock or to fill your cunt up. usually he was the one doing the begging, but here you were, pliant, obedient, and desperate for his every touch. he genuinely has to sit down and stare at you while also controlling the immoral urge of forcing his cock down your throat, watching how your eyes widen and become teary as your throat contracts and chokes around his pulsating cock.
he genuinely cannot control himself once he sees you fully submit to him, begging him to give you the exact things you were too shy about even insinuating merely a month ago. it makes him feel so accomplished knowing that he was the one that made your brain all cloudy and fuzzy—that he was the one who got your cunt hooked on the feeling of his relentless, unforgiving cock.
‘sirius—my fingers—they’re not good enough—need your cock in me—jus’ want you to ruin ‘n abuse me—please da—’ as soon as you become close to uttering the last word, he’s already lifted up your skirt and forced his cock inside your aching pussy anyways, groaning into your mouth and fucking you ten times harder than he would have any other day.
‘slut—you’ve become a little slut—oh, fuck—‘n who’s are you, huh?’
it becomes the first time that sirius loses all sense of reason and caution as it has become evident to him that he’s irreversibly corrupted you into becoming just as disgusting and perverted as him.
‘nah, not sirius’, honey, you're daddy’s, yeah?’
‘gross fuckin’ bitch loves that, huh, puppy? you like it when daddy forces himself inside you like that, hm?’
‘hogwarts newest slut, yeah? but only mine, isn’t that right? only i get to ruin—fuck—this whorish cunt—mmm,’
sirius is so mean, he doesn’t even tell you when he’s about to cum :( he makes you cum and afterward, you’re a fucked out mess because he just doesn’t stop. your eyebrows begin to furrow and you can only manage to mumble a quiet ‘sirius?’ before he groans into your neck, breath all hot and heavy, and pumps you full of his hot, sticky cum. all you can do is whine and writhe beneath him as he pushes your knees to your chest and uses your cunt to drain his massive cock.
all the while, he’s reveling in the realization that he has just cummed inside you and that if spells and birth control were forgotten, it would be no surprise if you fell pregnant with the copious amounts of cum pumped inside your spent hole.
‘my dirty girl likes when daddy breeds her, doesn’t she? oh, don’t shake your head, pup, i know you like it—can feel you clench—god—around me right now.’
sirius gets so turned on when you confess that you can’t make yourself cum without him ever since the two of you started having sex. the image of you crying out in frustration at the feeling of your own neediness and the dull throbbing in between your sore thighs—incapable of doing anything without his guidance—makes his cock harden far quicker than it should have.
‘poor thing. my dumb girl can’t do anything without me, can she? your small fingers just aren’t as daddy, hm?’ paired with a faux, mocking frown because sirius black is an asshole that is very visibly ecstatic that you’ll always have to come to him to find a release.
and nothing fuels his ego more than having you beg him to stuff you full of his cum before class begins. he loses his mind seeing the effects of ruining your perfect, angelic interior. his once smart, goody-two-shoes, good-girl has become a conniving slut, her own cunt betraying any logic or rational thinking within her mind :( seeing his shy, perfect-attendance girlfriend begging him to skip class with her to fuck in a dingy broom closet is all it takes for him to bust right then and there.
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Ok over an hour later and no im still a mess...
#miranda talking shit#I know i wont find an answer today bc i need time to weight pros and cons etc but like... My mind really is all over#Do i have the right to set some kind of rules? He's more experienced than me and this was his idea. Meanwhile im a virgin and basically not#Done much at all... Would it be crazy if i set some rules or boundaries anf what would those be? The obvious is. If i say im uncomfortable#It stops. That goes for him too. But idk if i can demand more and what it would be? I at one hand cant see myself setting the pace#Bc im so anxious and shy... Plus i wonder if theres anything one can do about ... Me feelinh potentially used? I dont know#Thats a worry for me. That he'll just want to f me and then hes gone. He said he wouldn't bc he cares about me#But its a worry? But how would that... Work... He have to give me a hug before he leaves? Would that be stupid idk.#My biggest fears is that I'll feel used or develop more feelings. I think i have the feelings under control. I obviously like him already#But if we do this we would go in with those expectations. Id not expect him to love me like that... I feel like i should for my own saftey#Set up some ttpe of rules to prevent me being hurt but i have no experience so i cant say what a rule would be stupid and what would be#Helpful/reasonable? I also know. We wont go all the way any time soon. He said that to me that he knows that im still a virgin#And he would not want to be the one to take it if i wasnt completely comfortable with it. He knows that if we do iy it'll be very#Well... Mild for a long time unless always. I know anyone who knows me will most likely scream and tell me not to... But also more than 50%#Of me really wants to... I feel like if this is a mistake? He'll be the best person I'd be able to do that mistake with? Does that make#Any sense? Because i trust him and like him and i feel like he does the same for me... I feel he would listen to me and respect me and not#Force me or push himself on me? And im definitely curious... Like yeah... And id kinda want to get some more experience... And gasp#Have fun??? Like when we discussed this even i laughed. He made me laugh during this. So i was obviously comfortable enough to do that#I guess this is an brain vs heart thing... Am i stupid and selfish for wanting this bc it'll potentially feel good and I'll feel wanted?#Maybe. Probably. But also... I can not think of any mistake like this ive ever made in my life. I havent allowed myself to do stupid shit#Ive not gotten stupid wasted or done something like that in my teens... This feels. If it'll hurt I'll learn from it and not be scarred#Forever? But i dont know. I think big part is that its new and exciting and all that and i want something like that... I want to feel#Something like that.... At least for a while as long as its actually fun...#Any advice or thoughts please do share. I know i sound naive and stupid bc i am honestly... But is that only a bad thing?#Idk genuinely so... Any thoughts I'll take anything. Or questions or any own experience i just need some others views
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Please! I need the part 2 of “Captain Price opens a package, thinking it’s intel, but it’s a sex pollen.“ I'm on my kneesss pleaseee it was so good! 😭♥️
Anyways, I'm your new follower 😍, and some of the stories you write is just so damn good😍 (Sorry for bad grammar's, English isn't really my first language, uwu)
im sorry but idk what a part two even looks like. i know a lot of people have asked for it but its... just some couch sex?? idk i'll try.
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Laswell clicked the door shut behind her, and part of you wished she had locked it. Gaz was sure to tell the rest of the team, but you could do without an audience. What would they even see if they barged in here?
The captain had let his cock loose from the confines of his pants, and they were sliding down his thick, muscular ass with every selfish thrust. He was rubbing himself like a naughty dog against your clothed pussy, begging for entrance with every forward movement. Your shirt was pulled down, revealing your breasts, and now they were covered in pink marks from the roughness of his beard as he moved his mouth across you.
Feeling him take each nipple and suck it so gently into his mouth, pulling it in like delicious nectar through a straw, drinking you although you were dry, tasting you even though you had no flavor. It was too much, but he couldn't stop.
You felt a little wrong to be enjoying your commanding officer so much. His humping was making your body respond even as it waited for your guilty conscience to catch up.
"Cap... oh, my fucking God... No, Captain. We shouldn't..." you tried to protest on his behalf, knowing he was being controlled by the powder.
"Corporal," he spoke with his mouth full of your flesh, "I can stop... now. It'll give you... enough time... to run..."
His bright pink eyes flashed up at you in warning and he used both his arms to pin you on either side of your head, forcing you to look at him, the intensity of which went right to your rapidly-melting core.
Suddenly, in a moment of lucidity, he looked you right in your eyes and finished his sentence,
"But that will not be bloody true for long."
As if warning you, he rubbed his hardness up and over your belly, letting it ruck up your shirt, and you felt its incredible heat. It was like a long, steel brand. His skin was smooth, but it was scalding and swollen with his blood. The huge tip left a wet trail of desire wherever it went.
"It's okay, Captain. You can have me if you --"
There mere suggestion of your consent was all he needed to let the dam burst and the river run free. His need crashed from him with an explosive force. He all but ripped your clothes from you, nearly hurting you in the process, making your ankles ache from the sudden pressure as he shucked your pants and boots away in one go.
Your panties were torn from you, sturdy though they were. The fabric made a whining, popping noise as the elastic split. Air rushed across uncovered skin, and your body doubled down on its plans to produce as much natural lubrication as possible. It seemed to know you'd need it.
He didn't touch you. Not with his hands. There was no preparation of any kind. Price fed himself into you like a hand into a glove, a body part in need of sudden and immediate warmth. He took control of your head again, pinning you in that same furious way, and you had a singular view of his face, twisted in a sort of sublime agony as he sank himself into you for the first time.
The pressure was almost unimaginable. Your body was making a lurid, wet, slicking noise as his cock forced you in half. You tried to allow him in, tried to relax, but there was little you could do. He was immense and heavy. It felt like a fist on a strong arm, like a forge hammer, hot and searing. The only thing more tormenting was his voice purring darkly in your ear.
"Fuck, you're warm..."
He pulled himself out of you inch by inch, leaving a terrible hollow where you were once whole.
"Wet for me. So wet. How?"
Back in. And in. And in. It seemed to go forever in and it made you wonder how deep you were.
"It feels so good to have you 'round me, love..."
When the rosy head of him found the end of your wet hole, it sort of... settled there. Locked in, like a key into a tumbler, and each fold of you a lifted pin, fitting him as if you were crafted for it.
"Thought 'bout how you'd feel. Sometimes... dreamt it."
You felt your body give away your surprise. He was too gone to notice it, but not you. You would have been able to feel the planets shift an inch to the left if they dared. You could feel everything. Each and every pore and hair and breath was awake and alive and living in the rawest possible way. Could he have really been thinking of you like you were thinking of him?
"Bloody fuckin' hell. So tight. Too tight."
He was right. It was too tight. He was squeezing himself in with each of these aching, crazed thrusts, shoving himself inside of you hungrily, all the way up to your pounding heart, it seemed. You felt yourself slipping around him like hot oil, running down his shaft and matting the coarse, dark hair that cradled his root.
"John..."
You used his name in place of his title, and he noticed. Noticed it like a hawk notices a hare. Right in your ear, up against your cheek, he responded, too quickly, too much teeth,
"Yes, love. Yes. Yes? Tell me."
He was grunting now, clearly on the edge of his pleasure. You aimed to take him over it, to plunge him into blinding darkness. You whispered, and each word hit its mark like the straight shaft of an arrow, striking into the target one after the other, tearing through the bullseyes like they were nothing but air.
"You're gonna make me come, John."
Again, that unearthly snarl came from his chest, the one you'd never heard before come from the mouth of a man. It was a cry and a scream and a prayer and a plea and had he not been pinning you down prone with his own prostrated body, he would have been growling it from his knees. He commanded you as he worshiped you,
"Give it to me. Give it to me. Give. It. To. Me."
Your body listened before you could even register his words.
From the bones in your hips, you felt your muscles tighten along his iron rod like a fist, closing in on him knuckle by knuckle, and each closure brought you closer to that brink where the darkness turned to blinding white light. You could feel the sparkle of it, that peppery gunpowder flash and then...
"Holy fuck, love..." He stared at you as if you were the sun lighting up his whole life. Like he'd seen you before, all sherbet pink and blazing orange, in the dawn, in the mornings, cutting over the horizon.
Price had come in you. You felt it. It slid along the cleft of your ass and soaked into the fabric of the couch. He didn't mind it. You couldn't. His body was still thrusting as hard and as heavy as before, fucking up into you as if he hadn't just filled you with his thick, hot cream.
"I can't... " he gasped, wrenching his eyes shut, "I can't stop..."
"It's okay, John..."
"I can't bloody stop, love. I'm... fuck, I'm sorry..."
"I'm okay. It's okay," you whispered to him, trying to soothe him.
You pet the hair back over his brow and he leaned into your touch like a cat, purring for more of it. You laced your fingers through his hair and held him tight at his scalp, turning his head so that you could talk to him right into his ear,
"Fuck me how you need to, Captain."
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kuiinncedes · 2 years
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waow i finally sent a long ass message about recycling sdjhgjdkhgf
#WE WILL RECYCLE PROPERLY lmao it was just the third time i went thru the recycling and im like#literally stop @ myself there's no need for this just tell ur roommates how to recycle XD#me: pretty chill roommate so far i feel liek i haven't rly said anytnign about anything bc im kinda just like yeah i'll live with it nbd#not that my roommates rly have either but#me suddenly in the gc: ESSAY ABOUT RECYCLING#and i will do it again lol#jeanne talks#however i did kinda like going thru the recycling for some reason aksjdgbsdkjfgf it's the sorting of it all#its the controlling what everyone else is sticking in the recycling 😭#a controllist#how am i still capable of remembering/making glee references lmao#still lowkey don't like how i have to like qualify everything i send :'')#im like 99% sure about everything also lowkey looked it up 'nah but idk anything about recycling pls correct me <3' shut up jeanne#and i was like 'i think' for everything like not necessary yes i think but i am pretty sure i know lmao 😭#anyway lmfao i feel like i should start a tag for roommate related posts XD#my roommates r great i just apparently have a lot to say about living w roommates lmfao#anyway#lol its the not wanting to complain about my roommates to other roommates and not wanting to like talk about it w other ppl 😭#bc idk it's like i'm living w them but i feel like that doesn't mean i can tell friends and stuff who kinda know them what it's like to#live w them lol Anyway so i'll dump it all anonymously online XD
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sweetyluvs · 10 months
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desperate ellie sex hcs when she gets back from soccer practice 😩
𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞/𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲 𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐡𝐜𝐬 🐱
warnings : SMUT, MDNI ; vaginal eating out, dirty talk, name callings, scissoring, finger fucking.. i don’t ever write smut so ignore how bad it it 😭not rlly hcs but whatever 🧍‍♀️I MADE IT SO SHE LOST A GAME CUZ IDK WHAT ELSE TO MAKE IT ABT. hope that’s okay<33
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let’s just get it out of the way, that whenever ellie loses a game she’s angry or horny if not both.
breaks down the door when she comes home, her face so scrunched you are surprised the skin hasn’t torn.
is all grumpy and moody and upset, but eventually becomes clingy and desperate.
shoving her head in your neck and rutting her hips against your ass
turns you on from how desperate she is. a very rare occasion
“not now, ellie. I have to do my homework.” you defended, ignoring the pooling of your own pussy.
“fuck— please, baby. i need you.” she groaned, her hot breath fanning down your neck— and you gave in. pressing your lips to hers.
she devours you, her pleading whines becoming angry grunts when you two make it to your bedroom.
takes off her soccer uniform, throwing it angrily across the room before practically ripping off your clothes— nipping at your bare skin immediately
you whimper, the sudden feeling of her soft lips kissing your body never failing to make you feel crazy
ellie’s fingers drift down, fiddling with the hem of your panties before teasing you from the outside. her boney fingers lightly running over the underwear, your soaking cunt leaking through the fabric
whines and begs slipping from your mouth, pleas for her to touch you. but, she stops her touching, looking you dead in the eyes “what do you want? say it, use your words.” she demands, watching you so closely you could come just from her gaze. “please, ellie.. i want you to touch me.”
the satisfied smirk on her face made you want to punch her, but your desperation overtook your urges.
“where, baby? here? or…” she slides her hand from your boobs down to your cunt again, once again teasing
“here?” you whine at her words, nodding. “why are you nodding? i said to use your words.” she growled, her brows furrowing. “i wan’t you to touch my pussy, ellie.” you moaned out, enough to satisfy her.
She slowly slipped your undies off, watching as the wet material stuck to your cunt before sliding off completely. she moved herself down, proving her head between your thighs.
She kissed your puffy clit, causing an erotic moan to leap from your swollen lips. Ellie’s tongue worked its usual magic; sucking, kissing, rolling— your eyes began to water, the feeling of her inside you causing your build up to come much faster than usual
the way she moved had you crying like a little girl; red faced and sobbing, begging her to let you cum. “what do you want, again?”
“please, please ellie please let me cum. I’ll be good, i promise.”
“sluts usually don’t keep their promises.” the insult had your tummy flipping and cunt clenching, and of course ellie noticed. She took no time slipping her middle finger inside you, your walls sucking her in desperately.
lets just say, you’d came way more than you’d expected.
“ahh.. ellie.. i can’t.” you cried out, the feeling of her clit rubbing against yours had you choking on your spit, the way she gripped your thigh in such a controlling way.
“j-js’ shut it, ‘kay? f-fuck.” she grunted out, her hips increasing their pace. your hands gripped your pink sheets,
“yeah.. js like that. fuck, look at you, already about to cum again. what a fuckin’ whore.” ellie gritted out, watching as you shut your eyes.
your hips were cramping up, unable to keep up with ellie’s speedy pace— earning your name to be called.
“fucking move it— i.. fuck— move your hips.” she demanded, moving her grip on your thigh to grab your hip and harshly shove it forward— earning a moan from you both.
“o-oh, shit..”
your began to move your hips, clits rubbing together quickly.
“ellie.. els.. i’m gonna..”
she huffed, clenching her jaw. “go ahead, cum again you fucking slut.” her words put you over the edge, a cry leap from your throat as you came for the nth time that night, legs trembling as ellie continued to rub herself against you.
her moans and grunts became more high pitched, her brows furrowing and grip tightening.
“fuckin’.. fuck, oh shit, oh shit..” she groaned out, her lips hitching their movements temporarily as she met her own orgasm. you moved your hips with her, trying to assist her.
she released her grip on you upon her finish, panting in sync with you.
“fuck.”
you bent over, kissing her cheek softly. she didn’t look at you, clearly still upset about her loss. You had an idea, removing your legs from the entanglement of your sex to get off the bed, ignoring her eyes trailing on you.
“what are you doing?”
“you’ll see.” you replied, going to the bathroom and pulling out a drawer. you closed the door, putting on the secret lingerie you’d bought for a secret.
after a while you walked out, suddenly feeling small under ellie’s intense gaze. her eyes scanned your body, hunger filling her eyes.
“I hope you have more in you for a few more rounds because that shit is coming right off.”
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mysicklove · 7 months
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𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆
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DAY 24: SPREADER BAR
With: Zenitsu Agatsuma
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: Sub! Zenitsu, gn! reader, crying, reader kinda is pushy but Zenitsu is fine with it, VERY sensitive Zenistu, overstimulation,
A/N: I hope i didn't take this too far. Reader is kinda pushier than my other fics, but idk. kinda nervous about this one for some reason. tbh, I'm not really liking any of my kinktober fics </3
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Zenitsu squirms. Plain and simple. Kiss his cheek and he is giggling like a school girl, touch his chest and he is shrinking away from you with a whine, stroke his cock and he is accidentally closing his thighs together. It was just instinctual, he’s sensitive, and even if he likes the touch, he seems to struggle staying still and letting it happen.
So, you bought him a spreader bar. Zenitsu adores handjobs, but its always a pain to keep respreading his legs (You once slapped his thighs as a warning to keep them open, and he immediately sobbed and begged for forgiveness. You never slapped him again). It was good to take measures into your own hands. 
But, he happened to be a little nervous about it.
“Y/NNNNN. Is this really necessary?” Zenitsu whines, his face pink from embarrassment at being completely bare in front of you. You were clicking on the cuffs to his ankles, while he lays against the headboard. 
You kiss the inside of his knee, before moving up closer to him. “You know it is. How am I supposed to make you feel good if you keep moving away?”
He pouts and looks away. “Don’t mean to.”
“I know baby, you’re just so sensitive. I love that about you,” You coo, leaning forward to kiss his temple. You rest your hand on his abdomen, and he flinches, eyes flickering to yours out of nervousness.
He looks down at his open legs and covers his face. “So embarrassing.”
“Hmmm. It’s cute, legs spread like a little whore. Only for me, hmm?” He whines at the slight degradation, moving closer to you to seek comfort in your warmth. But of course, he agrees, slightly nodding and playing with his fingers.
Your hand moves down to his cock, and he lets out an airy breath. Immediately you hear the clanging of the cuffs as he tries to move. You grin, glad his thighs aren’t stopping your antics, and pump him once, and then twice. His hand grips onto your pants and he looks up at you with pleading eyes. 
You continue, now going faster, and he keens, back slightly arching off the bed. He tries to keep his mouth shut, but it gets harder with every second. A minute goes by, and he is already spasming.
“F-Fuck slow down–You know I can’t!” He isn’t used to this, he usually gets a small break in the moments you take to pull away his legs. A chance for him to calm down, to not let his oversensitive body overwhelm him.
His legs are trembling and flexing as they try to force themselves together, but can’t. You continue your merciless pace, and his mouth hangs open, moans and whimpers falling with every second. Tears have already begun to well up. “I can’t. Wait, please! I can’t! Too much. It’s too much!”
You slightly slow your pace at his words and watch the way the pre drips down your hands. His thighs are shaking and he is twitching. Tears begin to spill over as he finally has a chance to catch his breath. You rub his face, brushing the drops away. “’m sensitive! Can’t keep up. You are going too fast, Y/N!” He sobs, and you coddle his face in apology, glancing back at the way his whole body seems to jerk when you reach the head of every slow stroke.
You coo at him, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear, as the spreader bar clanks with his movements. “But doesn’t it feel good, Zen? Your body is so reactive. You just need to relax and let it happen.”
He looks up at you with crocodile tears in his eyes and lets out a couple of sniffles. “Well, it did feel good. Just scary. Don’t got any control over myself,” He warbles, burying his face into your clothes for comfort.
You smile at him and begin to pick up the pace of your hand again. His hand tightens into a fist on your clothing. “Let me take care of you. I won’t let anything happen to you. Just gotta relax for me, yeah?”
A second goes by, and then two. “Mhmkay. Just, try to be gentle. Please?”
“Of course. Doing so well, ya know. Being such a good boy,” You praise, and he lets out a happy hum, soaking up the words. 
You slowly make your way to your original pace, ignoring the way he jumps, or tries to hyperextend one of his legs at the feeling. He begins to pant, and he’s clutching at you desperately, trying to keep himself relaxed, but also grounded.
Eventually, you reach your original pace, and his knees are caving in. He wants to close his legs desperately, but he can’t, and his body is reacting immensely to the intense pleasure. “Fuck. Fuck. Its a lot. It’s too much!”
“How does it feel, Zenitsu?”
He thrashes around the sheets, crying again, but seeming to enjoy it more than before. He doesn’t look afraid, just simply letting it happen. “Good! Mhmmokay im okay. Just–Just hard. Cant….Think!”
The bed creaks from his sporadic movements, and you are even having trouble keeping your hands on him. His hips are turning from left to right, and his back is arching occasionally. His mouth is open again, and his eyes are hazy. “Can’t last. I can’t!”
The bar continues to rattle, and his legs continue to strain against it. You are even worried that he might break it from the force of his movements. “You can cum whenever you want, my love.”
He doesn’t respond, just nodding his head, with his eyes slightly rolled back. His hands can’t stay still, interchanging from clutching at you or the sheets, to holding onto his legs to try to help stop force against the bar.
With his upcoming orgasm, the pleasure becomes more intense, and he begins to sob. “Fuck. S-Sensitive. Oh god, feels weird! Gonna cum. Please please please! It’s too much again!”
“You already have my permission, Zen. Relax, let it out.” He nods into your clothing and clings onto you like a lifeline but listens.
He cums, and it’s much different than before. He can’t curl up into himself, as he usually does, but tries to anyways. His body goes stiffer than usual, and he lets out three high pitches, broken moans. He shuts his eyes and arches his back into you. The white liquid coats his stomach, but he can’t even feel it, instead focusing on riding out the waves. 
He looks cute like this. It seems like it was his strongest orgasm in a while, and you are intrigued by it. Your hand slows down, and forces out the last couple of drops from the tip. 
You accidentally overstimulate him, and his whole body jerks and he lets out a whimpering sound. You gulp and pull away, trying to think of other thoughts, because overstimulating Zenitsu may be adorable, but if he reacted the way he does with a handjob, you may kill the poor boy with anything more.
But he blinks at you, eyes red with tears. “Again?” He breathes, still twitching occasionally from the aftershock. 
You gulp again, not sure if going again would kill him, or you.
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