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wtf-a-psychoanalysis · 1 year

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Calm Cool and Collected 5...

...That's what Miyamoto was trying to be while seeing the older red eared slider at his door. It was well into the after noon and quite hot, so instead of the old warrior style look that Miyamoto had seen him less than a week ago, Leonardo-san wore an unbuttoned guayabera and board shorts that were a bit shorter than expected. Miyamoto felt a void in the turtle’s presence as Leonardo-san was missing his large prosthetic arm.

“Hi Mr. Usagi, I hope I’m not interrupting you” said Leonardo-san holding up the remaining part of his right arm as if the phantom part was to be placed behind his head in a laid back manner.

“Not at all. Welcome, Leonardo-san. You just missed Yuichi, he was in such a hurry after training.” Said Miyamoto, who just noticed the the large amount of bags hanging off of the older turtle's left arm. “Come in and have a seat , I will help you set your bags down,”

“Thank you, just wait, one moment,” Leo said turning down to Raph, who was at the bottom of the flat’s stairs, “Hey bro, I have something to do, you can do some shopping if you like, here use Don’s credit card, I don’t think they’ll mind.” He tosses the card to the alligator snapping turtle mutant.

Leonardo-san was much taller than Miyamoto realized, a good half foot taller than his friend Gen, the bounty hunting rhino, and maybe a bit broader. Standing across from the turtle was the only time he felt small talking to someone.

It felt a bit ridiculous to have a crush at his age, being in his late 30’s. Then again his love life was complicated and he was treading uncharted waters openly asking out a man. He has had close encounters with other men but something about Leo-san was different.

Maybe it was that he was next in line to be head of his family, the Hamato Clan, which was odd because the ancestral Hamatos were human like their cousins, the Hikiji clan. Maybe that was the case, he was related to an enemy, however Miyamoto also had close encounters with a neko ninja clan member named Chizu and…. The rabbit mind trailed off, a trait all Usagi’s share, given the conditions.

“Hello, Earth to Space Usagi.” Leo-san said, waving his left arm in front of the samurai, snapping the rabbit from his trance, “Oh good, anyway thank you for inviting me. I really need a friend my age. I don’t know if I can listen to Dad Draxum’s lecture on calligraphy.”

Yes, Friends…

“I like calligraphy.” said Usagi. “Its a beautiful discipline…”

“As it helps one focus on the art in ones words and the words of ones art.” Leonardo-san and Miyamoto. Leo continued as Miyamoto stood impressed, “Thats why samurai must also master the are of the brush as they do the sword. Thats what Draxum said anyways. So you fancy yourself a Samurai.”

“I don’t know, do you fancy a samurai.” Responded Miyamoto.

“Oh” Leo said, his eye markings a bit redder than before. Though Miyamoto thought he somehow insulted the turtle.

“Chikushō. This man wants a friend, not a cheap replacement for his dead wife” Thought Usagi. In a hurry, the older rabbit gestured to the low table, “Here take a seat while I prepare tea.”

The technology of this age never ceases to amaze Miyamoto, staring at the electric kettle on the counter, he gasps in awe seeing how fast the water is boiled to the perfect temperature for tea. Despite his attention focused on the kettle, he could tell that Leonado-san shared the same fascination from across the room.

“Is this your first time seeing an electric kettle in action” said Usagi

“Oh, nah, my dad had this old kettle he would always use and it turn out to be an evil helmet of an evil suit of armor so we had to destroy it, I got him an electric one, lets just say Donnie made it evil too.”

Miyamoto’s deep chuckle resonated in the flat, “I’m guessing the purple one and the blue one give you the most trouble,” bringing the tea to the low table.

“Yeah, they are twins after all, and I should know I was a twin too.” said Leonado

Was is a very common word here

“I never had any siblings of my own but there was a boy in my village, Kenichi, who would cause as much trouble as one, he later became village magistrate after my father passed, then he married Mariko, my childhood sweetheart…”

Leonardo-san made an audiible gasp, “ YOUR childhood sweetheart, whoa, I would have never done that to Donnie.”

“Donnie, isn’t that the name of your son.” Miyamoto cocked his head in confusion before understanding, “Oh Donatello is named after your brother.”

This must have struck something in the older turtle as a bit of pain flashed across his face. Miyamoto then reached over from his seated positon to place a hand on his shoulder and said, “I’m sorry for your loss,”

“If you did this everytime you hear about what I lost, might as well keep your hand on my shoulder,” Said the turtle, then he places his hand on the rabbit's shoulder, “I’m sorry for your loss. I could never imagine losing a son,”

“It hurts me more that I wasn’t there for him as much, Kenichi was more of a father to him than I” replied Miyamoto, his ears drooped down in regret.

“Wait, he raised your kid.” Leo said in shock.

“Guess I got back at him some how for marrying Mariko.” the rabbit chuckled throught the sadness.

“You sly dog, does that mean Yuichi is Mariko’s too?” Asked Leonardo-san, shaking Miyamoto a bit .

“No,” said the rabbit flatly

“Me and Don were like that too… Not in the way that our dad placed his egg in different baskets like you”

“What do baskets have to do with my previous love affairs, speaking of which, do you mind if I ask what Madonna was like?” Usagi questioned. The turtle loosed his playful grip on the rabbit's shoulder.

What was she like indeed, know one knows,

Catching a glimpse at the TV placed in the living room the low table was located, Leonardo found his answer, “She loved telenovelas.” Leo lied looking straight into Miyamoto's eyes. The word confused the rabbit, Leo’s heart began to race with excitement given this opportunity to finally share with someone his love for the genre.

Leonardo continued his mission to teach Miyamoto the fundamentals of telenovelas and hispanic television, grabbing the remote and sweeping the rabbit off his feet in order to plop themselves onto the sofa. This small but astonishing moment took the rabbits breath away.

“Do you know spanish?” asked Leonardo-san. Miyamoto, still silent out of awe, shook his head. “Well its a good time to learn,” Leonardo continued. Flipping through the channels he found one that he had yet to finish.

Despite not understanding the language yet, he understood alot through Leonardo-sensei’s riveting commentary. Now both rabbit and turtle are hooked on the show's curious plot involving twins, forbidden love, clones and what honor means in one's culture. Before they knew it they spent two whole hours curled up against one another.

The chime of Leonardos phone told them that their time together was up. “Oh, Raph's back, looks like I have to go, you understand right Miyamoto”

Miyamoto nodded, “If you must, I had a wonderful time with you and…” He froze, trying to figure out the puzzle of his love confession, yet out came his love language, acts of service. “Let me help you with your bags.”

Now Leonardo-san was gone

Miyamoto stares at the doorway for a bit longer. “I should have told him.” the rabbit said to himself.

Raph was waiting outside of the apartment with the rest of the groceries. Leo-san offered to hold the more than he had already and Raph let him. She knew something was up with him, and it was a bit alarming how he knew a lot about her. Leonardo was the first to know Raph was genderfluid, even before she came out to him.

Raph despite being in her late teens and towering over most people at six feet, Raph felt comfortable acting like the younger sibling for once around Leo Sensei and that still means calling him out. “You like him don’t you.” She said.This statement caused a very obvious “What! No…” Come out of Leo-san and him almost dropping the groceries.

Raph continued, “Come on, You can tell me, and it's really obvious.”

“Like your crush on Cassandra”

“Shhh! How do you know about that!?”

“ I’m from the future, remember.” The older turtle chuckled, “To be honest I was kind of jealous when you married her and then became a parent. I always felt like I could never fit the role you had in Jr.’s life.”

This made Leo-san tear up, remembering how happy his Raph was when she saw Casey Jr. for the first time. The time they taught Casey parkour, that was the day he lost his last baby tooth. All those milestones that Raph witnessed before her life was cut short around the time Casey turned twelve. But this Raph didn’t see death in her future, what she saw is what she said out loud, stars twinkling in her eyes, “We end up together.”

“Yeah, When you're ready to tell her, tell me and I’ll be your ultimate wingman.” Leonardo-sensei said. Once they reached the entrance of the lair, Raph stopped him, offered to carry the rest of the Groceries and said “Go tell him big bro.”

<Previous

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amporella · 1 year

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hi! this is mpreg anon from a few months back lol. i just wanted to say i finally got to reading the fic and im sooo!!!!! sobbing and crying, a puddle of love on the floor! you were right. i Know now why you talked about it often.

i really love holly's stankyle. theres something about them that feels very.. desperate? like they know they belong together and sometimes not even physical touch can satiate that need/want?? idk! but agh! i love them sm. holly is also really good at capturing the overall weirdness of south park and thats why she can come up with aus/ideas that are weird or silly and make them work. i also really appreciate that she went for kinks/tropes that not many people give style.

something else i really loved about this fic was that it felt very like.. omg a dream come true in a way? sometimes i just wanna read a fic where stan and kyle do fuck all all day, just real type of normal maybe even domestic shit and its just them. and this fic came pretty close to that? they are so wrapped up in each other and have so much love to give and g OD i thought the baby was gonna come in and ruin that or like i was gonna get annoyed w the baby but no!!! 😭 i was so neutral about elway in the beginning and was actually loving how kyle was thinking/approaching the whole thing. idek when that started changing?? before they talk about the name elway though. and when she was finally born and the days kyle spent fighting to get her?!! and then he gets her and its the three of them and its like.. yeah.. okay, she's perfect. she really is a miracle stan and kyle created and theres no way she could ever come between them bc stan and kyle's love is endless, its forever and ever, they can share that love with their child 🤧

as for creek, hmm. i think craig and tweek just arent characters i've seen holly write for and like? so even though they are/were together i just didnt rly care for them u_u. im really glad i started finally reading fic where theyre not together in style fics though. it still hurts a bit lmao but ive been enjoying some stories i had passed on before and stuff and yeah, ty for giving me that little push >w<!!!

sorry this ask is so long! i didnt want to bother you every time i finished a chapter lol. i was also going through some stuff and this fic was the only thing keeping me sane. and actually i have just the epilogue left but im so sad its gonna be over after that so i've been delaying it :(! but yeah, aahhhh herbert garrison's night school for unwed fathers enjoyer 🫡 TY! 💙💚

YOU HAVE NOOOO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM THAT YOU READ THE FIC AND SENT ME THIS AMAZING ASK??? I saw this in my inbox and immediately went to my friends and like BRAGGED ABOUT GETTING THIS? I'm going to respond to every part so bear with me but in the meantime THANK YOU!!!

I think you are so so right about them being desperate... it is key for stanky that regardless of how close they get physically, it's like it'll never be enough? Like they are soulmates in every sense of the word, and can never actually satiate their pull... SIGH!!!! IT'S TRUE!!! And holly's ability to nail absurdity is absolutely one of her strongest suits, and something that definitely contributed to how iconic she is. South Park is an absurd show, and holly meets it with such absurdity that Stan and Kyle can stay perfectly in character, because so many of her plots are something that could legitimately BE a South Park episode involving the characters when they're older. Like, Craig and Clyde fucking in the Marsh shed and Craig telling Sheila Kyle needs a psych eval? A+, can and will happen at some point. It's so ridiculous yet somehow believable, and the mpreg fic is literally the BEST example of it. It's a concept that's frankly a huge turnoff for a lot of people (understandably), but she puts it in such a light that she makes it appealing for a ton of people. It's one of those fics that i would recommend even to the most vehement mpreg hater, because there IS something about it that differentiates it from typical fics like that.

AND DESCRIBING IT AS A DREAM COME TRUE IS SO CORRECT? Everything you said in that third paragraph specifically was so fucking real. The fic starts off as such an absolute disaster situation, and despite the multiple disasters along the way, you can absolutely tell that it was like fate in a way? Holly does an incredible job of balancing the understandable stress with the joy and all the happy moments, as well as acknowledging the fact that in the end, Elway seriously did enrich both of their lives. I LOVE THAT YOU POINTED OUT HOW YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT THE BABY COMING BETWEEN THEM... because it's true!!! It's such a real concern, but she is so good about wrapping it up; the scenes after Kyle gets Elway feel like a dream sequence in how floaty and happy everyone is, and while reading it I was like (as someone who does not want kids), huh. Maybe I need to have a baby? LOLL but seriously you are so right. It IS endless and now they have even more love to go around because of Elway... whatever. WHATEVER!! I'm not even crying. I'm NORMAL!!!!

I totally get your feelings about creek!! I ended up feeling kind of similarly. I'm happy you started expanding your horizons!!! There's nothing wrong with sticking with exclusively creek fic, obv, but there are some real gems out there if you're able to push some of the icks to the side. And maybe you'll even figure out a new ship you like? I remember that I was afraid to read Other People's Tupperware at first because Tweek is literally dead, and Craig hooks up with Kenny? But then I decided to read it (and felt neutral about it!) and it was valuable to me. And then when I read it a few years later, I really loved it. It got me thinking that first time!!! I'M HAPPY I COULD HELP GIVE YOU THAT PUSH!!!

Talking about holly (or any other fic) to me will NEVER bother me so pls feel free to do so!!!! I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE EPILOGUE!! It is sweet and so delightful. AND PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I CAN EVER GIVE YOU ANY OTHER SUGGESTIONS!!

Thank you SOO much for this ask!! It seriously made my day.

#asks #<3

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reluctant-mandalore · 2 years

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Finally decided on the name for the loth cat that Ann and Boba adopt together (I say together but really Ann brought it home and Boba has too much of a soft spot for animals to tell her no).

Bubbles.

The Loth Cat is named Bubbles and Ann was the one who named him.

#its ridiculous and thats why its the most perfect name #anns not good at naming things ok #let her have this #oc things #oc: ann #boba fett #boba x ann #Bubbles the Loth Cat

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 2 years

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So some stuff has come up and i dont think i'll personally be able to finish RWBY March. But ive been building a headcanon list for a while, so i guess now's the perfect time to share it!

General (main cast)

Nora refers to JR/JRO as "the boys" (canon?) but to RWBY as "RWBY" (canon?)

Pyrrha was insecure about her height (6'). The only one who knew was Nora. Nora's not insecure about her height (5'1") she's just mad at it

Weiss is also mad at her height. And Yang used to be insecure about hers in middle school

Everyone has carried Nora at least once. Whether because they wanted to or she forced them or they had to drag her out of something

Salem is colorblind (either by birth or by Grimm Pond dive)

Blake once licked her whole hand and then used that hand to push Ruby's hair back. No one will let her live that down

Sun likes to play with other peoples hair and clothes and gets really happy when they do it back (grooming is a important social aspect for primates). This behavior makes people think he's dating either Blake (who gets it) or Neptune (who's used to it and just lets him do what he wants)

At Beacon Blake wouldnt let anyone touch her hair out of fear they would move her ribbon or they would notice her cat ears. She actually really likes brushing or braiding her own or other people's hair

Pyrrha has a scar on her neck. Thats why she's always covering it. She always admired Weiss for walking around with hers on full display

Blake hung out with Sun and Neptune a lot in V2/V3. Thats why she knew Neptune was afraid of water

Emerald has never kissed anyone

Mercury went to school

Mercury was always a quiet kid. When he was talkative it was because he was having fun or being mean

Emerald dresses the (almost) exact way that Yang does but if anyone drew the same first conclusions about her that she did about Yang she would be very upset

Salem stopped going by "Princess Salem" after her rescue, only bringing it up if it would help a situation her and Ozma were in. She started somewhat going by it again when she was recruiting her army. She didnt go by "princess" again but she did go by "queen" and "goddess" after her false god stint

Faunus in General

Bc they need more animal characteristics outside 1 physical trait and goodish night vision

Faunus senses are a lot stronger than humans (other than sight*, which is equal to or less) *its canon they have night vision, so this is in regards to normal daytime 20/20 sight

Most faunus' can smell other faunus, down to the species-type (is there a word for that?)

Theres an old wives tale that the more human DNA you have, the weaker the strength of your senses are

Faunus who marry other faunus tend to end up with a spouse of the same or similar species-type. (Theres no socialital push its just statistics. Like how ppl tend to marry other ppl from the same backgrounds or class as them)

Depending on the species-type, some faunus have internal characteristics that allow them to: growl/howl (vocalcords/voicebox), have a higher bite force (jaw muscles), etc

There are stereotypes surrounding species-types. Cat-types like fish, primate-types will go through your stuff, rodent-types are short, that faunus who resemble solitary animals avoid social situations, etc

There are ridiculous rumors that faunus have a mating season/go into heat and that they lay eggs instead of giving birth

Perfumes and other scented things created and used by faunus are made differently, since their sense of smell is so strong. Walking into a human mall can be very disorienting because of the strength of human perfumes/candles

Animals were named after the types of faunus, not the faunus after the animal

STRQ

The partners were Summer x Taiyang and Raven x Qrow

Raven is also a alcoholic

Raven and Qrow started drinking at a young age and drank fairly often at Beacon (Tai wasnt complaining then but he complains now)

Both of them became functioning alcoholics well before anything truly bad happened (ex. Summer's death or Raven's exile)

Everyone has tattoos

STRQ has one matching tattoo, they were all suppose to get partner tattoos but instead only Summer and Tai got them while Raven and Qrow got completely different tattoos (they're already twins and will already be tied together for the rest of their lives by Raven's semblance. Plus they'd never agree on one)

Raven has a portal to Ruby

Tai married Qrow first while they were in the Remnant version of Las Vegas for a mission. They were drunk and thought it would be a hilarious thing to lord over Raven. And it was ("i shouldve stayed married to Qrow", "hey, Tai put a ring on my finger before he ever put one on yours!", "you see, my sister married my ex-husband, which means she was the second choice", "well, for your information, i have married every member of my team")

#rwbymarch22 #hinacu rwby #rwby #headcanons #faunus #strq #jnr #jnpr #nora valkyrie #sun wukong #blake belladonna #ruby rose #salem #emerald sustrai #mercury black #pyrrha nikos #raven branwen

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goodvibesprompttime · 3 years

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As a man of science, Doc doesn’t believe in the supernatural. Demons, fae, other worldly creatures coming to earth without purpose? No, preposterous...

No, he cannot explain the creature covered in mycelium and mushrooms and black scales with wings sewn onto its back. No, he cannot explain why it only appears at night and doesn’t show up on the camera. No, he cannot explain why it shivers even on the hottest nights in summer, or why it eats the rabbits violently, or why it has an affinity for the chickens. Doc cannot explain why or how he knows what the mute creature is saying - it has no mouth, but he knows... Doc has given the creature a sweater and it refuses to take it off, the mycelium has grown all over it... No, not an it, a him... “Grian”

Ridiculous, Doc mumbled, but he still writes as much as he can about the creature. No one else can see the creatures, and he cannot take pictures of any of them... so he drew them.

Cub asked if Doc was writing a science fiction book... Doc didn’t give him an answer.

Why is that shadow mov- oh, right, thats the creature that blends into the shadows. She’s a mysterious one, and shadows seems to be how she gets around. Doc examined that, while electric light does not hurt her, sunlight most certainly does. Perhaps it hurts all of them. Seeing the creature in the artificial light was... a sight. She’s much more humanoid than “Grian”, albeit it with three pairs of arms. One pair was connect by the shoulder, another was connected between the waist and hip. The last pair was connected midback. All three pairs were examined to have equal strength, but when put together, equal to that of three humans. Doc has found her on the ceiling multiple times, managing to stay up by pressing her hands and feet in the perfect spots to keep herself up. Doc dubbed her “Pearl”, short for what she called herself: “Pearlescent Moon”

Doc toyed with the idea that she was actually from the moon, or... it was that first thing she remembered seeing. He’s seen multiple stitching scars on her, specifically around her arms and eyes - which have no pupil or iris, but she is not blind. But it doesn’t explain how they don’t show up on film...

Cub asks if Doc is sleeping at all... or even going home. Doc changed the conversation.

All things considered, seeing the twenty foot, gangly, paper white skinned creature staring at him from the second floor window should’ve not scared Doc as much as it did. The creature was harmless too, just staring at him, curiously, and following him to the workshop where the robotics happen. How the duck did the creature manage to turn on a robot- where did that robot come from?? Whelp, okay, now the 20 foot creature has a son - apparently its “Grian’s” too. Wonderful, fabulous. Doc wrote it all down. There were also scars - when the creature trusted Doc enough to examine it. Unlike the other two, Doc found out the creature could be out and about in sunlight. Doc found this out cause he saw the creature’s head above the trees with the robot on his shoulder. In broad daylight. Doc thought all of this was a bunch of mumbo jumbo... ironically, he named the creature that...

Doc wondered if the creatures were created instead of something natural. Or supernatural. They all have scars, they’re all somewhat humanoid... they’re terrified of the other doctors.

Cub is watching as Doc becomes more and more obsessed with shadows...

Doc will never admit he screamed when the cat creature jumped out at him. He was opening the door to the animal test subjects, and suddenly theres this giant humanoid creature with fur and a tail and ears Oh my god, he has claws too- and... also has best friend that’s one of the stray cats that hang around the facility... Her name is Jellie. The creature also has metal and gemstones embedded into his skin, touching any of the metal or gemstones is very painful, but petting of the fur is relaxing? Doc named the creature “Scar”, because he is the most scarred and gave Doc the most scars.

Doc is just about to figure out this puzzle - after asking all the creatures. He is so close, he needs the truth-

Cub notices the scars.

The last creature could actually talk! It actually talks instead of being ominous, or making noises. Impulse. His name is Impulse - arguably the most human, but with large claws that can tear apart bedrock, and a jaw that can unhinge to his chest.

Doc finally has his answers.

And Cub is finally stepping in.

#hermitcraft #docm77 #grian #mumbo jumbo #pearlescent moon #impulsesv #goodtimeswithscar #hc docm77 #hc grian #hc mumbo jumbo #hc pearlescent moon #hc impulsesv #hermitcraft au #hermitcraft prompt #cubfan #hc cubfan

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strawberrymilkgeorge · 3 years

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Part Nine. Minecraft Dating 101

warnings: swearing, mostly super freaking fluffy but some oopsies at the end (which is the barely-there angst that i mentioned before!!), pet names?? if that bothers you??? (like...... one or both of them might use baby.........) word count: 5.3k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: HEHEH SORRY ITS SO LONG SORRY hope you guys like it!!!! hope it lives up to your standards of minecraft dates lol also thank you guys all for all your suggestions!!! i loved all of them so much!!!! i would have added every idea except this was already 5k words so its much less “flirting” and more so “oh gosh im so nervous what am i supposed to do” from both of them so hehe i think thats more endearing anyway

**********

The familiar sound of a FaceTime call connecting rang in Y/n's ears and she held her phone up to her face. "Hi, Karl," she sighed.

"Y/N!!" he said with a cackle. "ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR DATE?!"

"Shut up, I'm doing this for you."

"I already gave you the tour though so really you could back out. You're choosing to stay." His voice was teasing and giddy. "Why's that, hmm?"

Heat rose instantly to Y/n's face. "Because I'm a woman of my word?"

"OkaAaAyy," he sang. "Or because you liiiiikeee himmm."

"Shhhut up, Karl. No, I don't."

"Suuuure."

"Is this why you called me?"

He giggled. "Yeah, but—"

Y/n disconnected the call and set her phone down with a small laugh and a shake of her head.

With her stream started and her chat greeted, the donation limit raised to $100 (both because she didn't want to be flooded with questions on the date and because she didn't want people to donate their hard-earned money), Y/n logged onto Dream's SMP and found the voice call Dream was in, George's name right under his.

After she clicked it to join, a small gasp emitted from her headphones before she heard Dream mutter something. "Get out, get out, leave."

George's voice was normal. "But I wanna—"

"GEORGE!" Dream yelled, making Y/n giggle.

"Fine!" George yelled back. "Have fun you two," he sang like Karl did before a sound from Discord told them that he left.

It was silent for a second before, "Hi."

"Hi." She giggled. "What was that about?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Just some last minute, uh, setting up."

She hummed, amused at the sound of his frantic voice.

"So, um... are you ready for our date?"

"I don't even know where you are. I'm still in my house."

"Knock, knock," he said with a laugh. Y/n turned to see green peeking through the cutouts on her oak door and she laughed.

She ran to the door and opened it for him, revealing Dream in a slightly altered version of his Minecraft skin. He looked the same, except the white blob appeared to be wearing a necktie of some sort. "You look ridiculous," she admitted with a smile. "Wait, is this a fancy date? Should I change my skin?"

"It's not fancy, I just wanted to look my best for the prettiest girl in the world."

"Ohmygosh," she muttered to herself, hoping that writing off his charming words and actions as annoying would make her face not heat up as much. So far, it hadn't worked. Two minutes in and she was already blushing like a schoolgirl whose crush asked her to play tag at recess. "So, I'm not underdressed?"

"No, you're always perfect."

She didn't comment, opting for an eye-roll instead. Truthfully, she wanted to flirt back with him, try to make his heart beat fast like hers already was, but she was worried her words wouldn't come off joking and that the true intention would be obvious, that he'd be able to breeze right past the jovial tone and hear the sincerity in her words. Wait, true intention? What was her true intention? Her true intention should obviously be to just joke around and have some fun, but deep down she knew the motivation for teasing him came from somewhere different, somewhere more meaningful.

She wanted to tease him because she wanted to be the one to make him blush, to make him trip over his words and not know what to do with his hands.

Why? Well, she was still figuring that out.

"If you're ready, follow me, ma'am."

"Where are you taking me?" she asked as she followed his character down prime path.

"Hmmm..." he mused. "A secret, obviously."

"Obviously," she scoffed. She noticed that he was several blocks ahead of her and she smiled to herself. "Hey, Dream?"

"Hm?" he asked, spinning to face her as he ran backward.

"I don't know how many dates you've been on, but usually people walk together. You know, gives them an excuse to maybe hold hands or at least enjoy each other's company?" She made sure her voice had just the right balance of teasing and seriousness, curious as to how he would respond.

"I, uh... oh."

"Unless you want me to just meet you there. I mean, you're practically running away from me."

"I'm just excited!" he excused, stopping briefly so she could catch up with him.

"But look at how many beautiful things there around us to look at while we get to where we're going!" she told him. "Well, maybe not that," she said with a laugh as she punched her fist towards Tommy's dirt house. "But other things."

Dream laughed and continued to walk next to her like she requested, pausing if he ever got too far ahead. "How can I look at all those when the most beautiful thing is walking right next to me?"

She's never rolled her eyes so hard in her life. "Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him.

"OW! BUG!"

"That was supposed to be a pat on the arm but Minecraft only has one level of hitting and it's a punch. Sorry."

Dream wheezed briefly before containing his laughter. "This way," he instructed, getting off the path and starting into the woods.

"Oh, really you're trying to kill me. That's why you didn't want me to wear anything nice. Didn't want me to ruin any of my fancy stuff."

"Foiled my plans," he joked lightly. "Okay but really, um, I was thinking—well, so you already have a house but I was thinking we could build one together. Or build something, I don't know. But you're really good at building and I know you really enjoy it so I thought maybe you could show—like, teach me and then later I'll teach you something and then we can have a little picnic dinner."

Y/n smiled at her nervousness. "Hey, that actually sounds really fun!"

"What? What do you mean actually?" He laughed. "What, did you expect me to plan something boring?"

She laughed over his dramatic pouting. "No, but I mean, I didn't know what to expect," she said shyly. "I do have to say, though, I'm not sure what you plan on teaching me. I'm pretty much a master at all possible Minecraft skills, so..."

"Oh, really?" he taunted. "Everything?"

"Mhm," she hummed, her confidence wavering at his smooth voice.

"We'll see about that..."

"Unless you mean you're gonna teach me how to code Minecraft. That's a Minecraft skill I will admit I know nothing about."

"No, no, nothing like that," he said with a laugh.

"Good, save the programming talk for later."

"For laaater, hmmm?" he sang flirtatiously.

"Oh my gosh," she said through a laugh. "You would think that's what I meant."

"Hey, you're the one that said you think it's cute when I talk about coding. Maybe you're into that."

"I was saying it's sweet hearing you talk about stuff you like, you nerd. Why did you immediately think—what, is your idea of dirty talk talking about... like... computer viruses?"

"WhAT?"

"Hey girl, lemme clean out your motherboard," she mocked in a deep voice. "You overclock my processor. Lemme program your, uh—uh...hAHA, nevermind, ew, no."

"BUG?! WHAAAT? What is wrong with you?" His gasps for breath between wheezes made her laugh with him. "Don't ever talk like that again, pleASE."

"I won't, I won't, I'm sorry. Oh my gosh."

"Is that your idea of flirting? You are bad!"

"No, no, no!" She laughed. "I was making fun of you. No, I'm actually really good."

She couldn't stop giggling to herself for a few minutes, embarrassed but also proud of the reaction she got from Dream. She loved hearing him laugh as if he would never stop, it made her heart so happy to hear, especially when she was the one who caused it.

Though she feared her horrible pickup lines, if you could even call them that, were already clipped, ready to be used against her for the rest of her life. Worth it. Probably.

They approached a cleared-out area in the woods and Dream stopped and turned to Y/n. "So, we're here. What should we build?"

"Oh, so now I have to plan? Wow, you are so underprepared," she joked.

"What, no! I originally... I wanted to build a, like, a house together because I didn't— I forgot you made your—your house already and—but since you already have one—"

"We can still build a house," she interrupted with a soft voice. Him fumbling over his words was very endearing but also very confusing. How serious was he taking this bit? Or was he... actually nervous? She was actually nervous but she had reasons to be: a huge live audience to entertain and not ignore, and the weird staticky, itchy feeling in her tummy every time Dream spoke to her. Both valid reasons to be nervous. What was his excuse?

"Really? You wanna build a home together?"

Heat rose to her cheeks at his wording and she hummed. "Mhm. You can be my secret lover I hide in my vacation home. Like a second life kinda deal."

He scoffed. "Oh, now I'm just your side piece, Bug?"

"Nah, you're my main bitch, baby. I just wanna hide you away to keep you for myself because I'm selfish."

There was silence on his end for a few moments, making Y/n's face practically catch fire as she thought about her words. Why did she say that?? How can he flirt all the time but as soon as she says something: dead silence.

"Well.... shhhhhit," he finally mumbled definitively.

"You wanted me to flirt with you, Dream. You literally asked me too!" She laughed, trying to cover up her embarrassment. It had been less than 20 minutes and she already made a fool of herself.

"I did, I did, I just—wow. Come on, that was... I didn't expect you to go from never flirting to calling me baby!"

"Too much?" she bit her lip as she waited for him to explain if it was a good or bad thing.

He paused again. "....no."

She laughed loudly, pulling her hoodie collar up to her face in an attempt to rid herself of the giddiness and heat on her face. Like anyone could see anyway.

"So, a house?"

"A house."

"What kind of house do you think we should build together, Dream?"

"Maybe...." he thought as he ran around the area. "Maybe, like, a log cabin? Since we're in a forest. It's fitting..."

"Very true, very true..." she thought. "I was thinking a castle was more suited for you, king, but a cabin works too."

"Bug!" he yelled, laughter bubbling up in his voice. "What is wrong with you?"

"What?" she said defensively, giggling.

"You're a handful today," he groaned under his breath and she smiled. Though his words said one thing, Y/n could tell he was enjoying her energy.

"So, a dinky, old cabin, or what?"

"Whatever you want to build," he sighed.

"You always this agreeable?"

"Only to you."

"Well, I honestly don't have much practice with building cabins and since I want to show off my skills, I mean, that's the whole point of this, right? For me to impress you with my skills?"

Dream laughed so she continued.

"I think we should build a treehouse."

"A treehouse?"

"Mhm. What do you think? I make a pretty bomb treehouse."

"That sounds awesome!" he agreed. "Oh, and it could go from, like, one tree to another and, like, connect with a bridge! Like, the living room on one and the bedroom on another."

"Yeah, exactly! Okay, it's settled."

"What do we need? What do you want me to do?"

"I'm thinking.... we use cobblestone?"

Dead silent. Literally no noise until a few moments later, ".......Bug. This might be a deal-breaker."

"I'm joooking! You think I'd build something out of cobblestone? Who am I, Tommy? No, what's your favorite wood?"

"Dark oak."

"GOOD. Me too. So.... we need dark oak. Or, wait! Okay, hear me out."

"I'm hearing..." Dream prompted as he pressed A and D on his keyboard back and forth, earning a giggle from Y/n. He character was bouncing left and right is excitement.

"Dark oak planks..." she started.

"Mhm."

"Stone bricks..."

"Go on."

"And green wool for accents."

"Well, now you're just pandering."

"No!" she laughed. "Not, like, lime wool. Green wool. It's close to you but not as... obnoxiously blinding."

"I trust your vision. I'll go get materials."

"Perfect, you're the best, Dweam."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled before laughing. "You pick out a tree you think would be best for the main part."

40 minutes later, they were nowhere near being done. Y/n had shown him how to make a good house layout after he placed the floor in the shape of a square. She had yelled at him for it first, of course. They also had the frame of the walls and one bridge but nothing on the other side of said bridge. Not wanting the stream to last six hours since this was only the first part of the date, Y/n made a suggestion.

"What if...."

"What if what?" Dream asked, pausing to look at her character, who had stopped fixing his mistakes. "Did I mess something up?"

"No, I was just thinking. What if we make this the whole house and do a little garden on the other side of the bridge? Or like a little cute thing."

"A little cute thing?" Dream laughed.

"You know, like a thing," she said, knowing she hadn't clarified anything. "I forgot this is only date one, you can't read my mind yet."

"Oh, so there are gonna be future dates? I thought this was just to pay off your debt?"

She paused, playing with her hoodie strings between her left hand. "Well, I guess we'll see."

Dream laughed. "So, what little cute thing did you want to make?"

"We could put a bench facing the sunset and have some potted flowers and hang lanterns and stuff."

"Oh, like a romantic spot?"

"I guess if you wanna think of it like that."

"Sounds cute," he said. "So, we have to change the layout in here then?"

"Nah, I mean, we can just not add a kitchen, we obviously don't need one anyway."

"True. Then all we need is to put our bed down, right?"

"Beds," Y/n corrected.

"Well, when they're together it looks like one big bed."

"Who said we're putting out beds together?"

"Buuuuggg..." he whined. "Come on... lemme put my bed next to yours."

She giggled again. What was with all the giggling, sheesh. "No. There's plenty of space, put it somewhere else." She placed her white bed down in the corner and went across the bridge to bring her idea to life, or, to Minecraft.

It only took about ten minutes and she finished when Dream spoke again. "I think I'm done."

"I am too! Let's take one final look around." She went back inside and immediately noticed his bed right next to hers. She stared at his character and he laughed.

"Whaaat?" he asked shyly and she just sighed, letting it happen. They took a look around and agreed that it was basically the best treehouse in the entire universe, both in Minecraft and real life.

"Bug, you're so good at building," Dream complimented as he ran around the house. "What's your favorite part?"

"Ummm...." She looked around before deciding on the bridge. "I like how you made the bridge. And I like the little touches you added to it. It's nice."

"Thanks! I think the 'little cute thing' you did is the best part."

"Shut up, I can't stand you," she scoffed. "But thanks."

"Hey, Bug?" Dream asked, leading her back into the house. He faced the two beds placed together and she prepared herself for the worst joke of all time. "Is this where all the programming talk happens?"

"I knew it! I knew you were gonna say that! Shut up!" She punched Dream as he laughed loudly and she couldn't stop smiling. "You're such a nerd. You're so annoying."

"OH! I have an idea, wait here."

***

It had been a solid eight and a half minutes of Y/n waiting for Dream and he showed no signs of returning. He was silent too, so she resorted to saying random things to get him to crack.

"When will my husband return from war?" she joked, her voice laced with sadness and longing.

There was a small suppressed laugh from his mic, but still no words.

"Sometimes I think I can still hear him laughing at me."

He must have gotten reeeaaalll close to his mic, because his next words, the first ones he had spoken in almost ten minutes, were whispered but she felt like he was in her ear. "I'll be home soon, baby."

Once again, she was so glad her chat couldn't see her because she literally shivered and her face was so warm she felt like she was glowing.

For the first time all stream, her eyes betrayed her and she looked at her chat as she pulled her hoodie collar up to her face.

user18: BUGSY BEIN REEEAL QUIET

user4: i think i just passed out

user11: wHAT ON EARTH DREAM ADKXKH

user7: BUGSY ON GOD BE REAL WITH US WTF IS GOING ON RN

user2: hey bestie i cant do this rn

user9: they can't talk to each other like that and say they're just friends pleASE

Also for the first time all stream, someone dared to donate at her limit (which, again, was ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS).

karakatara donated $100 I had to donate bc I just HAD to tell you how cute you and dream are! honestly my favorite couple ever and I was just wondering how long you've been dating??? love you and your videos!!!!!

It was $100. She had to answer it. Meaning, she had to use words after Dream said that like that and she wasn't sure that was physically possible right now.

"Aren't you going to answer?" Dream taunted.

"Wha—what, are you—you stream watching, you weirdo?" she forced out. "Why?"

"I wanted to read your chat, they're really funny."

"I haven't been reading it."

"What, why? They've been so funny this whole time."

"I've been too scared to."

"Too scared? Of what?"

Of the jokes that she wanted to be real? Of seeing something so cute only to break her heart when she remembers it's all a joke? Of seeing someone hate her for being so close to Dream? Many things.

"Of seeing something... that boosts your ego."

"What? Oh, come on. Hey, answer the dono. Someone gave you their hard earned money for that."

"Yeah, wait, chat, I had the limit that high so you DON'T donate! Why on earth would you—"

"You're avoiding the question."

"We aren't actually dating! Not actually a couple!" she said with a laugh, though something in her heart was very much against laughing at that fact. "Obviously not."

"Well, it's only the first date, so, we'll see I guess, but..."

"I cannot stand you. Thank you so much for the dono, though, Karakatara. You're insane for... yeah. Thank you so much." She turned her attention back to Dream. "Actually though are you ever coming back?"

"Yeah, what, I'm almost there. I see the you staring out the window. ."

When he got inside, he dropped a blue cornflower for Y/n and stepped back. "Okay, now, give that to me."

She followed, not understanding. "For you, Dream." She dropped the flower.

"Aw, Bug! That's so kind! Aw! Thank you! Here's a flower for you, too!" He dropped her a red poppy and then put two item frames on the wall above their beds. He put the blue cornflower above his bed and she followed by putting the red one above hers. "Now that's my favorite part of the house."

"You didn't want to use the real ones? What, did you lose my flower or something?"

"Hell no!" he defended loudly. "No, I just don't want someone to steal that one. It's in my enderchest for safe-keeping."

He said it so casually like it was no big deal, but her heart soared. She too had his flower in her enderchest.

"This," she said dramatically with a sigh, "is now a treehome."

***

"I already told you I'm the best PVP player out there."

"Bug, honey, I've seen you play Bedwars. You're trash."

"Hey!" Hehe, honey. Shut up brain.

"But that's okay! I'm here to teach you."

Y/n's character stood across a makeshift battlefield from Dream's, an axe in hand and armor that was definitely donated by DreamXD on her body. "This is kinda sexist of you. Assuming I know how to name a cute house but not fight."

"Oh no, that's not—crap. Bug, I'm only basing this off of your streams, which I watch all the time—"

Once again, he said something so casual and yet it still made her heart skip three beats and once again, she grabbed the collar of her hoodie and pulled it up to hide her face. This thing had to be stretched by now from how often it was yanked on in this stream alone.

"—and don't get me wrong, you're great! But you're also good at a lot of stuff and—"

"Dream!" she giggled out. "I'm teasing. I admit you're much better than me."

"I wouldn't say much better but... it's the only thing I could possibly teach you anything about because you're just so good at Minecraft." His tone was sarcastic at this point but she knew he was meaning what he said.

"Whatever. Come on, Dream, show me how it's done."

He actually had a lot of very useful tips that Y/n otherwise would have never thought about. I guess when you tryhard Minecraft, she thought, you learn a thing or two about pvp. It was a complete joke, but she still kept it to herself.

"I could basically beat anyone now," she said confidently.

"Yeah, basically. Except maybe Technoblade."

"Nah, even him."

"Let's see how good you really are. To the death."

"What?" She laughed. "You're gonna try to kill me on our date?"

"Yeah, scared?" Seconds later, a creeper exploded near Dream and he screeched, jumping back. Y/n lost it. She laughed loudly, clutching her stomach.

"Dr-Dream!" She laughed. "What the hell was that?"

"It scared me!" he argued. "Here, I'll protect you," he offered, running past her and killing a skeleton that was shooting towards her.

"I don't need protecting, especially from you! Besides, if you're trying to kill me, you'd let the mobs get me."

"No," he decided. "No one's allowed to kill my Bug."

She was literally going to explode. "Wh—"

"Only I get to."

"Dream!" she scoffed, running to kill the skeleton first. She succeeded and he pouted.

"Hey—I did more damage than you, you just had the final hit."

"Really? Cause to me it looks like I'm your knight in shining armor."

"Nuh-uh," he spat.

"Dream. F5 right now, you're covered in arrows."

There was a pause. "Oh whatever." He hit her once and that's all it took for them to start fighting, throwing jokes and taunts at each other the whole time, eventually resulting in a satisfying win for her.

Dream was slain by Bugsy

"WHAT?! HOW?"

<Tubbo> i thogt you were on a date <Ranboo> well definitley not anymore <Ranboo> is that canon <JackManifoldTV> WOMEN

"What was that about you being better than me?" Y/n teased.

"Oh, come ON! I still had damage from the skeleton, and besides, I taught you everything you know!"

"That just makes you a very good teacher, Dream," she said sincerely and he paused, probably expecting her to insult him instead of compliment him.

"Yeah, suck up now that you've murdered me."

***

They were finally at their final stop, three hours into the stream. Not too bad on time, though this was probably the longest Minecraft date in the history of Minecraft dates. Also the best, but maybe Y/n was biased.

There was a huge tree, obviously built instead of naturally generated, with lanterns hanging down and lighting areas of the dark world around them. Under that was a checkered pattern of carpet, a single chest in the center with a potted plant sitting next to it.

"The carpet is supposed to look like a, uh, what's it called... picnic blanket?" Dream explained as they approached the scene, clearly not happy with how it turned out. "It looks weird. Nothing compared to the treehouse you built."

"We built," she corrected. "And this looks awesome, Dream," Y/n complimented. "It's is also my favorite colors."

"Yeah, I had some help from Karl on that one."

She leaned back in her chair in real life and pressed her hands to her face. Oh, it was so unfair how cute he was when he was shy like this. She glanced at chat, which only made her face go from the temperature of molten lava to basically the sun. She was going to explode.

She hummed, a little giggle coming out as well. "That's cute."

She sat (crouched) on the picnic blanket (piece of carpet) while Dream put a disc in the jukebox off to the side.

"Is that a Tommy disc?" she giggled and Dream laughed.

"No, no, no, don't worry. There shouldn't be any continuations of wars interrupting our date."

"Shouldn't be," she emphasized, noticing someone approaching them from the distance.

Dream was about to speak when Quackity reached them and quickly joined the voice channel.

"Oh no," Dream sighed. "We've come so far."

"AYYEEE WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?!" Quackity yelled in his Mexican Dream voice, his voice bubbling with laughter. "IS THIS A DATE OR SOMETHING, MAN?"

"Quackity, go AWAY!" Dream ordered, punching the character who had stripped to his underwear. "YOU'RE INDECENT! THERE IS A LADY HERE!"

Y/n laughed, enjoying the scene of fancy Dream hitting naked Quackity away from their picnic dinner.

"I'm your waiter, I'm your waiter!" Quackity said in his normal voice, still laughing. "DREAM! WILL YOU STO— QUIT HITTING ME!"

This had turned chaotic very quickly.

"We don't need a waiter," Dream informed him.

"Then I'm the singing gram you ordered." He started singing a song and Dream groaned. "HEY THERE DELILAH WHAT'S IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY—"

"No! You're being a clout chaser, go away!"

"I'm honestly impressed we made it this far without anyone coming into the voice channel," Y/n admitted.

"I paid them," Dream joked.

"You did not!" Karl's voice suddenly came through and Y/n laughed. "We were all just being polite and staying away but we're getting bored! We've been so patient!"

"Yeah, hurry up! We wanna play!!!" Sapnap whined. "Dream, it's not fair for you to steal Bugsy from us for so long."

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed with a laugh as Dream laughed along.

"Just ten minutes! Ten more minutes!" Dream bargained but none of them would have it. "Just so I can say goodbye!"

"No!" George insisted. "Right now!"

"Look, wait, wait, hold on—"

"—hold ON!" Dream begged, watching as the three boys ran and joined Quackity by the picnic blanket.

Y/n could not stop laughing at all the avatars around them. The date had been so peaceful and cute but all good things must come to a chaotic end.

"Wait, come on, Karl, Karl, Karl," Dream said quickly. "Come here. Bug, just a sec, please. Stay right there."

"Okay," she agreed, curious to see his plan.

Karl followed him and of course Sapnap couldn't help but also join them.

"Okay," Dream whispered loudly, clearly wanting everyone to hear his offer. He crouched and the other two copied. "Just give me ten minutes—"

"Ten?" Sapnap asked loudly.

"Shhh!!! Yes, ten minutes, to say goodbye and, you know, end the date."

There was a long, thick pause. "What exactly are your intentions with Bugsy Games," Karl asked seriously, matching Dream's whisper.

"Well, I wanna make sure she gets home safe, you know, so I'm gonna drop her off and, I don't know, see if maybe.... maybe she'll give me a hug?"

Karl and Sapnap both gasped dramatically and Y/n giggled, sparing a glance at her chat who were all freaking out.

"What the hell?" Quackity said while laughing. He and George were still standing near Y/n so they were just watching the goons with her.

"Bugsy is not that kind of girl!" Sapnap protested. "You think she's just gonna give you a hug?"

"Sapnap! Do you not know how to whisper???"

George let a loud laugh slip before slapping his hand over his mouth, which his mic picked up.

"Okay, Dream, wait, so you're gonna try to... hug her?" Karl clarified. "She won't even let me hug her. Good luck."

"Well, I'm not going to force her into anything but, I don't know, she said something about holding my hand earlier so I just thought maybe there's a possibility—"

"WHAT?" Karl yelled before going back to the whisper. "Okay, okay, don't panic, but that's huge. Dadnap, a word?"

He and Sapnap broke off from Dream and formed their own huddle, except their whispers were incoherent mumblings that weren't even English.

"Oh my gosh," Y/n groaned loudly, an unmistakable laugh behind her words.

"Okay," Sapnap said, rejoining Dream. "We'll give you five minutes but if you take any longer, we're barging in and killing you."

"Yes, sir!" Dream said. "Thank you, sirs."

"Mhm. Okay, break!"

They all uncrouched in sync before Dream ran back to Y/n.

"How did it go?" she asked as if she didn't hear the entire conversation.

"Bad news," he started. "Your dad's want you home."

"Shame, I was quite enjoying my time."

Dream slowly turned towards the boys as if to glare at them for ending the date before turning back to her. "Then, maybe, I don't know, we could do this again sometime?"

"I.... think I'd like that," she said slowly, trying to tease him.

He giggled and told her he was going to drop her off at her house, even though when the date was over, they were all probably gonna mess around together anyway so there was no point in them leaving the group. But it was the thought that counted.

He ended up taking her back to the treehouse, which warmed her heart. She also noticed when they faced each other at front of the door, she could see the four other boys watching them.

"Goodnight, my sweet Bug," he said poshly.

"Goodnight, Dream." He turned away but she stopped him. "Wait!" She moved to his side and made a loud, MUAH, sound before stepping back in front of him. "A kiss on the cheek," she clarified, not wanting him to think she gave him a real kiss.

"Cute," he said under his breath, almost like he didn't mean to say it out loud. "Night night." He turned away and ran down to the others, screaming the whole way. "GUYS, DID YOU SEE THAT? BUG GAVE ME A KISS ON THE CHEEK!! OMG DID YOU SEE, DID YOU SEE?"

Chat was gonna have a field day with that. Actually, with a lot of things that had happened. Oh, she could see the clips and edits now.... oh boy.

**********

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#rpf #real person fiction #dream x reader #mcty x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcyt x y/n #dream smau #dreamwastaken smau #smau #social media fic #dream social media fic

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

Text

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

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movingandnolongeractivehere · 4 years

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[hcs] some general headcannons ♡

— dating the karasuno boys >> third years and second years (daichi, suga, asahi, noya, tanaka)

daichi sawamura —

morning walks to and from school because he’s just a good gentleman it makes you cry

never lets you eat lunch all alone. like he’s always by your side or if he’s busy he’ll have suga and asahi or the first years accompany you because he doesn’t want you desserted in a table

its also to make sure that you are eating right!!! mans wants to make sure you’re good and healthy (plus the first years always get giddy when he asks them to come with you since they asks you the most ridiculous questions in hopes to expose a secret about their captain)

daichi just gives them a glare and they shut up

gets you little trinkets that remind him of you when he’s on his away games

“I just think it’s cute and it makes me think of you”

sir-we need to stop you from making us fall in love even more

kinda not the softest but definitely has a hard time saying no to you specially when you pull the puppy eyes

he starts an inner dialogue when you do those to convince him something like buying some shit you know is just a waste of money and he’s all like “oh no not the puppy eyes”

random but serious talks about your future— getting a house, marriage, even kids

and its literally so fucking pleasant to see him looking so intent about planning your future together,,, he’s so sure it almost hurts

love him please

sugawara koushi —

never misses any special occasion that could be an excuse to take you on a date!!!

its just a koushi thing

random duets and soft humming when you two are together because he really has an amazing voice (and you can’t convince me otherwise, go cry about it)

gives the warmest hugs that can cure you of any sadness like at some point you’d believe their actually magic

very teasing but cares very much about you

always has something sickeningly cute to call you and it makes your heart go “kandiska omg” but at the same time you’re also “disgusting please stop”

trolling daichi together because why the hell not (plus daichi has the most funniest “i am done with this” reaction whenever you and suga pull some shit on him)

hinata randomly got the two of you matching mugs for one of your aniversaries

stares at you with the most dorky smile when he thinks you’re not looking but oops you see it and you really just go “oh good he really loves me that much yes”

and yes suga loves you a lot please be the nicest to him because he is soft boy

azumane asahi —

he!!! is!!! the!!! most!!! sweetest!!! boy!!! ever!!! ohmygod!!!

gets shy and flustered when you compliment him but he absolutely loves it when you praise him so do it more

gifting each other soft clothings like cotton sweaters and warm scarves because a soft boy like him deserves soft things too

will never let you walk home alone specially when it gets late because he can’t even stand the idea of someting relatively bad happening to you

giving him all sorts of braids and keeping an extra hair tie, rubber band or head band with you because he sometimes breaks his and you being a good girlfriend is always there to the rescue

WILL AND I TELL YOU, HE WILL always ask for consent either from you, ya mom or ya dad because he doesn’t want them to think bad of him

and they would never??? bruh your parents probably even acknowledges him as their in law already lets be real

you literally not getting why people are scared of him or like think he’s this some sort of thug because??? he is just the softest?? and the cutest??? and everything nice and sweet???

nishinoya yuu —

has a list of disgustingly cute nicknames to call you and he never runs out of them, it just keeps going (babe, baby, princess, honey, lil’ cutie, cupcake, whatever sweet ass nickname exist you name it, he says it)

crackhead pranks with tanaka and cue daichi screaming at the three of you for almost setting something on fire

absolutely sends you selfies from every gym or court he’s played on, on his away games, tokyo, nationals, training camp, wherever he goes he sends you a selfie of him if he can’t convince coach ukai or daichi to bring you along

will fight, and I am absolutely serious, anyone who even makes you frown

ya’ll know he’s gonna pretend to be all cool around you but in reality he’s just a big ass baby who’s loud but you love him anyways

makes it a living goal to remind you how perfect you are because in his eyes you are literally everything

anyone who says the opposite is going to get reckt because he may be small but he’s feral and tanaka backs him up (and thats on bro code)

gets all googly eyed when you smile so warmly at him because ahhh his heart can not survive this

kisses your nose randomly because it makes you scrunch them and you look so adorable focusing on the tip of your nose

10000/10, highly recommend dating him

tanaka ryuunoske —

Always manages to convince you to watch practice or to watch his matches

goes crazy when you borrow or just straight up steal his clothes like please anything but seeing you in his own clothing it makes him incredibly soft (but he makes you wear his clothes more anyways)

lol noya and tsukki called him a simp,,, but he didn’t even deny it??? like fuck whatever you say so what I’ll simp for my baby

your number one hype yes sir

literally thinks everything you do is immaculate and praises all the little things you make. he wants you to feel appreciated no matter what it is because you do the same to him

hanging out with saeko-nee san because she’s all for you and she loves teasing the shit out of tanaka

lol saeko covers up for the two of you whenever you sneak out so tanaka can’t say anything

you being the more mature one in the relationship but thats not saying anything since the both of you are just crackheads

daichi face palming when you did something dumb when he specifically told the both of you not to do so and you both just sit there like “well whats done is done” while daichi nags your ears off for breaking the last broom available

love him please oh my god i would die for tanaka

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rfadaydreaming · 4 years

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boyfriend jumin headcanons

theres no way hes been in a relationship before, never even kissed someone before. you best believe hes going to go all in hes so starved for love

he needs to hear every single thing about your life, even the littlest things. he will remember it all, and asks so many questions too. could listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. your life is so different from his, he finds it fascinating. always wants to know more.

at the beginning of the relationship he has an extremely hard time controlling himself and finding whats right and wrong in a romantic relationship. you have to be very open with your boundaries or he’ll treat you like a doll, he cant help himself hes just so enamored.

does SO much research on relationships, he doesnt like the advice he finds but hes looking in all the wrong places. seven gives him links for real advice from real people reddit instead of mens magazines because those all suck. jumin starts to ask him for help whenever hes curious about something and seven will find a link for him to read. it helps bridge their relationship a bit more. seven is one of those friends thats amazing at relationship advice but for some reason desperately single.

even though he’s new to relationships and still trying to figure it out, that does not mean hes bad at it. no sir. this man was raised on romantic novels and cheesy soap operas. he knows his way into your heart easy peasy

the most beautiful arrangements of flowers delivered to your doorstep, your favorite foods from the most gourmet restaurants in seoul sent right to your work, hand written love letters sealed in wax sent to you while he’s away on business. declares his undying love for you over the phone almost daily.

hes never been around women much before, rikas the exception but he wasnt around around her like you would be with a lover. so hes interested finding out about your habits, routines, likes. the way you cook breakfast in the morning, the way you do your bedtime routine, your afterwork routine. always finding something new to love about you every new day.

he really adores anything and everything you think is a flaw. he prefers you with your quirks rather than aiming for perfection. theres nothing wrong with being “plastic” but the majority of those types of women he’s been around are the rich snobby type more than every day women. he prefers you. again hes never been close to many women so its kind of amazing but sad the things you can find to think harshly about. things he absolutely would never imagine someone being insecure about in the first place. he loves this body, it makes him upset when youre so critical to it.

he’ll explain to you what goes on behind the scenes of corporations and how exactly they make you insecure about those odd little things just to profit off of it, theres nothing wrong with you to begin with but if you believed that then they would be out of business, you see. knowing that aspect of things is why hes understanding but still saddened by your insecurities.

hes a very possessive man and is unashamed about it. hes never had anything as important as you to protect before so he doesnt care how ridiculous he may be sometimes, as long as youre safe. body guards, frequent calls, locations on, always wanting to be with you if he can. if that all bothers you i feel like that would be a bit of a disagreement area. his personality is naturally possessive and he does it out of love so bear with him please. he would definitely tone down as time progressed but for now he doesn’t want to let you out of his sight. trusts you, not other people.

he likes to observe you a lot, your day to day. it’s interesting to him even though it can be a little annoying to you sometimes. asks questions constantly. hes so curious. jumin let me go to the bathroom in peace hes literally a child

it makes him so happy when you laugh at his jokes. everyone else thinks they’re not funny but he doesnt care, as long as you laugh hes happy.

if you wear make-up it’s literally amazing for him to watch. he’ll stand in the bathroom and just observe. you can GLUE eyelashes to your FACE?! and its common?! this is so shocking to him. he had no clue. its kind of embarrassing for you but hes just so interested. never watched someone put on makeup before. the process is so intricate and careful, hes so fascinated by this strange magic. youre so smart too, he doesnt know any of the names of the things you use but always asks so he can remember for gift giving purposes. shades you like, shades you dont like, companies you dont buy from, your favorite brands. somehow has a giant mental notepad and writes all this down for safe keeping

speaking of smart he thinks you are the smartest person on the face of this earth. hes so confused at certain aspects of life and you help him get it. why do people eat fried chicken when its not nutritionally dense or even healthy to consume? it doesn’t make sense. because its yummy, jumin. wow, youre so right...

always texts you little reminders throughout the day to show his love. dont forget to eat breakfast dear. dont forget to wear sunscreen before you go out love, its hot today. dont forget that i love you so much my darling ♥︎ SO CUTE hes so caring

this man is so so touch starved, he always wants to hold you or touch you in someway. if he could bring you everywhere with him he would. he starts to get anxious if he goes too long without your comfort, truly doesn’t know how he made it for so long without it

not the biggest fan of pda but it depends on the situation. he likes making others jealous but he doesn’t want anyone else to see the way you look after he kisses you in that one special way that only he can. thats for his eyes only

loves showering you in anything you desire. you are spoiled. he’d buy you a whole ass island if you wanted one. he never understood how his father could just give away so much to a woman but now he cannot say a THING. he’d go completely broke as long as it made you happy

if you dont like tons of store bought gifts he’ll spend more time on meaningful ones. picking you flowers from the rooftop garden and arranging them himself, he embroiders as a pastime so he’ll make you cute little cat decals and stuff like that

he likes to do things for you like paint your nails, wash your hair, put lotion on you after a bath etc. loves it so much, if youre not comfortable with him babying you its totally fine but if you are he’ll do it whenever you let him

he has very cold hands. never really thought about them until he met you, really hopes you dont mind. tries to warm his hands up where he can before he touches you, but secretly loves when he runs his cold fingertips down your skin and you get gooseflesh all over. thinks its cute.

gets insecure sometimes. not really about his looks, but his personality. luciel is funny, zen is handsome and suave. yoosung is sweet and open with his emotions. he wonders frequently why you chose him out of anyone else.

all in all jumin is someone you need to get used to being in a relationship with, hes not the average joe and has a lot going on with himself that he needs to work through. but if you help him, love him for him, he’ll be the sweetest lover you could ever ask for.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger headcanons #jumin han #jumin

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moonlight-additions · 3 years

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wip game!

rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and interests you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!

Tagged by @daystiny thank you for the tag Yav 💗

(no pressure💗) tag: @starlightjoong @timextoxhajima @nct-tara @stealerz @nctyongie @atinymonster

Oh god, I have like 100+ wips so for the sake of my followers I’ll be naming them under the cut so if you want to read more they’re under the cut 😭 also some of them didn’t have a title so I didn’t include them (didn’t put who was in which bc thats kinda important so i guess if you want to know send an ask? rip i feel so exposed having to name my wips 😭)

My Time

Don’t Call Me

Your Eyes Tell

Doesn’t Concern You

Space

Meekrats and Raccoons

Battery Acid

Location

Cold

You What?

I Think So

Keep It

Final Decisions

Support

New Addition

Daddy

Motherly Love

Family

Future

They Know

Scared To Be Lonely

Sunday Morning

Perfect

Manager

Graduation

Not Going To Work

Personal

Without Me

Lost

Always Love You

Elena On Twitter Space (to the anon who sent this in I KNOW ITS BEEN FOREVER I PROMISE I AM TRYING TO FINISH IT 😭💔)

Pleasant Surprise

You’ve Got Me

Exaggerated

Someone Else

ShowTerview

Write That Down

State of Denial

Doesn’t Matter

Needles

KPOP Daebak Show

Questions

Hungover

Wine Night

Birthday Bash

Dating Rumor

Take Me Home

The Statement

Breakaway

Femme Fatale

Baila Baila Baila

Shameless

So Am I

Weekly Idol Ep 472

Traitor

Dream Of You

Something New

Thinking Of You

Drop The Dance

Expensive

Secrets

Try Hard

Your Favorite

Pajama Party

Rewrite The Stars

Closure

Thank You

Very Nice

Decisions

Need Help

Blue Flame

Better Now

The Stealer

Baby Just Say Yes

Why Do We Try

What Did I Do

Monster Cookies

Spreading Support

Coffee

Go Big Or Go Home

Familiar

#daisy.tags #and spoils #tag game #yav 🍂#don’t clown me for having all these wips and yet still taking my time on posting bc I KNOW IM A CLOWN 🤡😭

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hotpinkrathian · 4 years

Text

The Chief's Secret

(Kyalin)

A small get together is being thrown at air temple island, its been a while since everyone's seen each other so they decided to have a group supper to catch up.

It wasn't until Lin removed her armor, out of pure habit that she realized her mistake.

"Uh, Beifong, what is that?" Korra asked, looking at a point next to her shoulder. Lin looked down at her chest, blushing.

"Its nothing, collateral damage is all." Korra leaned in closer, her hands on her hips, a smirk appearing on her face.

"Oh my Raava. I know what that is! Asami! Beifong's got a hickey!" Lin face palmed, urging Korra to keep her voice down. Asami ran over, her eyes widening at the sight.

"Korra you werent kidding." Asami said, her too looking closer.

"Stop it," Lin grunted, bending her armour back on, concealing it again.

"Well well well..." Korra smiled deviously, "looks like you owe us an explanation."

"I owe you nothing!" Lin spat, crossing her arms.

"Fine. I'll just ask your sister." Lins eyes widened in terror as Korra hollered for Su, who looked at them from across the way. Korra waved for her to come over and Lin almost sent her flying with a Boulder the size of the island.

"Whats up you guys? Lin," Su smiled with a dip of her head.

"Su, I have something to ask you..." Korra grinned evily and Lin looked away in embarrassment.

"Anything Korra."

"Where might Lin get a hickey?" Su turned to Lin, her eyes wide and filled with an unreasonable amount of excitement.

"Lin!" She gasped, "what is she talking about?"

"Its nothing," Lin replied in her best attempt at a casual voice.

"Its not nothing, spill the tea!" Asami chipped in. Before Lin could reply, Su bent her armor off her, revealing the bruise on its prominent place on her collarbone.

"Oh my God," Su said with a grin. "Lin!" She added in a high pitched tone, giving her sister a friendly swat.

"Its not a big deal. Just a one night thing." She lied. She knew it was much more than a one night thing. But it was her thing, she didn't need them tainting it.

"Is there more?" Su asked, looking Lin up and down.

"No! Stop with the ridiculous questions!"

"Oh there's definitely more," Korra said with confidence. Lin sighed in frustration, just when she didn't think things could get worse, Kya walked up beside Su.

"Whats going on here?" Kya said, her smirk telling Lin she already knew.

"Beifong's got a hickey," Korra replied.

"She won't say anything," Su added, narrowing her eyes.

"A hickey? Well Lin I had no idea that was your thing," Kya said with a wink. Lin gave her an angry glare, and Kya just stuck her tongue out in response.

"Its no one's business," she said again, knowing it wouldn't be enough to satisfy them.

"Look, Lin just tell us some details, maybe how he looked, his height, where he works, his name..." Asamis's attempt at... whatever that was failed miserably when Lin scoffed.

"Whoever it was, it looks like you two had a good time." Kya said, running her tongue over her lips.

"Oh we did," Lin said, deciding to change her course of action, "it was like nothing I've ever done before. It was so raw, neither of us expected it, and before you ask, Korra, I was indeed on top." Everyone's jaw dropped, but Lin only looked at Kya whos look of surprise changed to anger at Lin's lie. Kya loved to be topped, and thats usually how things went, but not last night. The waterbender was good at what she did, and she knew it, but Lin would never give her the satisfaction of saying so.

"Wow, I thought that only happened in my dreams," the Avatar replied, getting a nudge from Asami.

"Suppers ready!" Pemas voice called over the crowd.

"Good timing." Lin smirked as she left the crowd. She was well aware of Kya following her, the waterbender's footsteps heavy with anger. Lin took a seat, feeling Kya's hair rub against her arm.

"You are a cruel, cruel woman."

"Thanks, I try."

"If you want a repeat of last night I suggest you fix this."

"I told you not to leave one."

"I can't help it. Have you seen yourself naked?" With that Kya pulled her mouth from Lin's ear, flopping aggressively down next to her.

Dinner started in a sweet silence Lin managed to avoid and further questions about the bruise, coming up with a bullet wound just in case. But she was well aware of her sisters eyes staring at her from across the table, her pupils filled with questions. She was also well aware of Kya's hand stroking her thigh underneath the table. The waterbender rubbed it on the outside at first, then she went up, and on the inside. Currently, she gripped it, squeezing lightly as Lin tried to manage a conversation with Zhu-Li.

"So anyway I think if we were..." she trailed off, Kya's touch distracting her.

"Sorry can you give me a minute? I just need to run to the powder room." Zhu Li nodded and Lin stood up, more abruptly and pronounced than she had wanted, but she dipped her head quietly at the table before dismissing herself.

As expected, Kya followed her to the bathroom a couple minutes later, using their secret knock to let Lin know it was her.

"You are intolerable." Lin said when the door was closed.

"That was not what you said last night," Kya smirked, crossing her arms. Lin glared at her, promoting Kya to place her hands on Lin's shoulders, rubbing a thumb over the hickey.

"You can't possibly think its easy for me to see them standing out there, ogling you, wondering about your serial escapades, assuming its with, dare I say it, men." Kya elaborated, her smirk turning into a frown.

"I never said it was a guy."

"But people expect that, Lin thats just the way things are." Lin frowned.

"I'm sorry, but, I did get you riled up."

"And I got you back, so I'd say we're even."

"Not quite," Lin said, pulling Kya into a kiss. Kya giggled, wrapping her arms around Lin's neck.

"What compelled you to take your armor off? You wear it all the time and tonight you decided would be a good time to go without?" Kya chuckled.

"Its this island, it makes me want to remove layers."

"Its the island? Or someone on it?" Kya suggested, pulling herself to kiss behind Lin's ear.

"The island. You're not the only one I've undressed here for." Kya pulled away, swatting Lin on the chest.

"Really?"

"Sorry, sorry. You are the only one who currently makes me want to undress on this island."

"Better, but you need to work on your flirting."

"You thought my flirting was just fine on Saturday."

"Perfect. Now we better get back to that dinner, or Su is going to suspect something."

"Ugh. Fine." Lin opened the door, and Korra fell into the bathroom, Su and Asami standing behind her with wide eyes. Korra looked up to Lin from her spot on the floor.

"Oh hey Lin I didn't know anyone was in here." The avatar said weakly. Lin sighed , offering her hand to Korra who took it.

"Well?" Lin asked them.

"Ummm, just to clarify," Korra started, "I didn't get a whole lot of that conversation, what I did get was hot by the way, but you guys are... um.... banging it out right?" Kya looked to Lin, doing her best to hide her smile.

"Yes, Korra." Lin admitted.

"Ob let's go!" The avatar cheered, high fiving Asami.

"Lin," Su said, "why didn't you say anything?"

"Because of that," Lin replied, pointing to Korra who danced around a laughing Asami in her moment of glee.

"We were keeping it on the down low," Kya elaborated, "we planned on telling you guys soon, but its sensitive. Lin has a very reknown role in the city, and some people won't see her the same way if this type of thing were too.... come out." Su frowned, looking at Kya and then Lin.

"I understand," she said after a moment. "So I take it this is more than you two 'banging it out?'" Lin felt herself blush, and she turned to Kya who had a similar color to her cheeks.

"Yeah, its a little more than that." Kya replied, a smile spreading across her lips. She was looking directly at Lin, who smiled in return.

"Well, I'm happy for you, and Lin, please don't be a stranger. I know we've had our troubles, but you can tell me anything."

"Thank you Su," Lin replied, "do you mind keeping it on the down-low? At least until we tell Tenzin?"

"Of course, anything. But, those two might be harder to convince." Theh looked to Korra, who was still chanting around an exhausted Asami, Lin was glad that at least she had processed the news.

"Beifong's gotta girlfriend!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, our avatar," she said sarcastically. The three of them laughed, and Lin felt the hairs on her arms raise when Kya gripped her arm, running her hand down it briefly. They returned to the table, after swearing Korra to secrecy, enjoying the rest of the meal in a newfound peace. That didn't stop Kya from leaving soft touches every now and then on Lin's leg.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Kya froze her hands to the headboard, she took the liberty of pulling off her top, leaving her breasts displayed in her white bra, and exposing her underside with only a simple lace thong to cover up. She heard a knock on the door, her excitement bubbling up.

"Come in," she said in the most sultry voice she could muster. The door opened, and instead of Lin's usual heart stopping beauty, a bald head, covered only with a blue arrow stepped in.

"Kya have you- Oh my Raava!" Tenzin said, covering his eyes.

"Tenzin!" Kya yelled, breaking her icy restraints and covering herself with a blanket. "Knock next time!"

"I did knock! Why did you tell me to come in?!"

"I thought you were someone else?"

"Who?" As if summoned by Vaatu herself, Lin came in through Kya's window.

"Sorry I'm late I got caught up- Tenzin?" Lin looked to Kya eitha panick and the waterbender shrugged, her face scrunched up in a cringe.

"Lin?" He asked in confusion. He looked to Lin, then to Kya, then back to Lin, a horrified look of realization on his face.

"Oh-oh my..." he said, his voice barely audible.

"You and Lin... you? Kya?" He stammered. Kya bit her lips together, shaking her head up and down. Tenzin placed a hand against the doorframe to stabilize himself and Lin's face went red with embarrassment.

"What are you doing?" Kya whispered while Tenzin was rebooting in the corner.

"I came in through the window because there were acolytes outside the dorms."

"Its cleaning day," Tenzin said from his spot by the door, "they stay up later to clean the dormitories."

"Tenzin," Kya spoke gently, "this has been great, but can Lin and I have some privacy?." Tenzin nodded, backing out of her room as if he hand seen the ghost of Kyoshi.

"What happened?" Lin asked.

"I thought he was you!"

"Weren't you listening for the knock?"

"I was distracted!" Kya protested, nodding toward the headboard which still had ice stuck to it. Lin put her palm to her face with a sigh.

"Well its out now." She groaned. Kya walked up to her, placing a hand under her jaw.

"Hey, maybe this is a good thing," Kya said. "Maybe this means we can take this thing a little further."

"Further than this?" Lin said sarcastically, looking at Kya's outfit, or lack thereof.

"Haha. I did this for you, remember."

"I'm sure under different circumstances I would appreciate it."

"Yes, well what I meant is, maybe its time we make this more than a couple dates, more than the sporadic sex, which I love, but why don't we I don't know.... be together? For real this time." Lin looked at her, and for a moment Kya thought she ruined it.

"Okay." Lin replied after a moment.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, I like you Kya. And I want more too. Starting with severing all ties to this island."

"Normally I'd disagree, but I'm so happy I'll do whatever you want right now." Lin raised an eyebrow, and Kya took the opportunity to wink.

"After we get to your place."

#lin beifong #team avatar #kyalin #legend of korra #avatar the last airbender #korrasami #asami sato #suyin

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hamburgerhelpersotherhand · 4 years

Text

Infatuation P8

Joe Goldberg x Reader x Love Quinn

Warnings: a lying bitch and a writer who hates writing warnings because they spoil what’s to come

Notes: James Elkins, a fairly well known art historian, once wrote “Love would be the state in which I hunt a hunter or fall prey to prey” (The Object Stares Back, 1996). This is a quote I reflected on a lot while writing this series, though I’d still say they dont feel connected. I had to read the book for class so y’all have to deal with my bs

I barely managed to sleep last night.

I’m so incredibly tired. My eyes are heavy and I’m having trouble keeping my focus.

Snap.

Love is in front of me, snapping her fingers. I’ll give her my attention soon, but I’m caught in a thought.

That car from last night. I wonder who it was... I think I’ve seen that specific car before. That or the lack of sleep is getting to me and I’m seeing things.

Snap.

I blink repeatedly and then set my sights straight onto Love’s face.

“We open soon. Are you alright? You’re really out of it.” Love asks.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” I smile reassuringly. ”I’ve just been having trouble sleeping.”

Love runs a finger across my forehead. It tingles. She searches my sleep deprived eyes for a moment.

“I understand.” Love smiles back, her worry still woven in there. “How about you come sleep at my place tonight?”

That sounds like a great idea. How long has it been since we slept together? Far too long.

“Sounds like a plan.” I lean forward and place a gentle kiss onto her lips. She shares the same sentiment and we reluctantly part ways a moment later.

Love is still on my mind as I pack up last week’s display. Ah, how I yearn to entangle myself with her. I’m... beginning to fantasize while noting down the amount of unsold copies of the display we have left. I feel weird. Like, a little bothered, maybe. Not because fantasizing about your girlfriend in the open while at work is inappropriate but... I mean, it’s not professional, but that’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is... you’re there. You’re on my mind too— somehow.

In my deepest thoughts, you’re there... sandwiched between us. She loves you so much, you know that? You’re good for her too— you can be good for us.

The familiar jingle I’ve heard oh so many times takes me out of my thoughts. The world around me clears up and I eagerly look around.

You’re not here. I think I’m starting to hear things.

I finally shake you from my mind and store the boxes in storage.

Love prepared a delicious meal, as no surprise to anyone. We spent most of the evening talking. Mostly about useless things, like the next colour for the bathroom. Personally, I favour a blue tone. Love seems to want something black and white.

“Zebra print?” I say.

“No! That would actually look awful!” She laughs and almost spills her drink in the process.

“Hey, watch it! I like this shirt.”

“Can I tell you something?” She asks.

“Yeah, whatever you’d like.” I answer, sitting up to listen carefully.

She points to my chest and speaks. “I really don’t like that shirt.”

“I’m hurt.” I feign sadness and she sips her drink.

“—No no, I mean-“ Love gulps before continuing with a softer tone. “-maybe you should take it off?” She raises her eyebrows and I catch on.

“Ooh. Yeah- yeah, sure.” I smile widely and she sets down her drink. Love leans in and kisses me gently, something sweet still on her lips. I can feel my brain already melting as I lean forward as well.

rrRRING.

It’s her phone. Love seems reluctant in her next kiss. I pull her in more, my hands snake themselves around her back.

rrrRRRING.

Now she completely pulls away from me, pushing me aside as she grabs for her phone.

“I’m sorry— it might be Forty.” She pleas as she accepts the incoming call. Again with Forty, huh? He’s starting to seem like more trouble than he’s worth.

“Hey, Y/N.”

I perk up at the name, but I pretend my attention is elsewhere. I pick up our empty plates. I can’t hear what you’re saying, but I see that Love is listening intently.

As I make my way to the kitchen, Love speaks.

“But why? You just came back.”

I quickly and quietly set the plates down and walk back to the living room. I stand by the archway and continue to listen. It doesn’t sound good.

“You can’t. Y/N-“ She’s desperate and I can only imagine what you’re saying on the other end.

Love takes her phone away from her ear and looks at it. “Are you kidding me?” She mumbles before tossing it onto the floor.

“What happened?” I ask, walking into the room and standing by her side.

She reluctantly answers, a pained expression crossing her face. “Y/N. She’s leaving again.”

“Did she tell you why?” I ask quickly, sounding a little too interested.

“No, she didn’t tell me why.” Love leans forward so I can’t see her face, but I can tell in her voice that she’s holding back tears.

“Love,” I sit next to her and place my hand on her back. “It’s alright.”

“No, Will. It’s not alright.” She squeezes her stomach. “I worked so hard to make her comfortable. I’m gonna sound crazy but I thought I finally had her back.” Love quickly places her hand over her mouth in a worrying motion.

“Let me get you some water, okay?” I say, noticing her trembling state. She looks like she’s either going to be sick or start crying.

“I’m going to her apartment.” Love states before attempting to get up. I latch onto her arm and pull her back down onto the sofa.

I speak quickly, grabbing her half empty drink and standing up. “I’ll go. You look like you might throw up. How many drinks have you had?”

“I don’t know... ugh, fine.” She replies meekly and I leave for the kitchen.

Y/N, I thought you were better than this. This is like breaking up over a text, it’s feral. You even hung up on her when she wanted answers. What has you so scared?

Well... You’re not allowed to run from your problems anymore.

After bringing Love a glass of water and making sure she made it to her bed, I let her know I’d take care of it.

Love told me to talk you down from this. Apparently, you sounded very frantic in the call.

I’m parked in my car, across the street from where you’re packing up. I can see it in your lit window. You’re moving quickly.

I fix my cap on my head and continue to watch as you disappear from view.

Soon, your light gets turned off. My queue. I step out of the car and wait for you to exit the building.

When I see you open the door, step out with your luggage, and turn to lock up again, I jog across the street.

“Y/N-“

“AH!” You turn around quickly, knees glued together and almost causing you to topple down the steps. “Oh, gosh. You s-scared me.” You fumble with your keys and quickly turn to lock the door.

“Sorry, uhh... what’s the luggage for?” I hum casually.

“I-I’m going on a-a trip. A s-small one.” You feign a smile and scoot passed me. You’re still a liar. A horrible one too.

“Thats not what you told Love.” I say, following behind you.

You’re not saying anything anymore, just rolling your stupid luggage. It doesn’t even have a bell on it.

You’re being childish right now.

“Why would you lie?” I say.

You spin yourself around quickly. “Why would YOU lie?”

Oh.

Oooh. I get it.

We stare into each other’s eyes for a bit. I’m not moving, but you’re shaking like a leaf. You know, and I can tell you regret saying anything.

You turn around again to continue walking at your ridiculously fast pace but— I’m not sure what came over me... I grabbed your forearm and yanked you back. You let out a squeak and throw your luggage into my knee, knocking me off balance for a moment.

I hear an engine start and quickly spot two red lights. It’s a car. A black car, to be more exact.

Fucking perfect.

You try to bolt away, but I don’t let go and instead, pull you into me. I... I don’t know why I’m not letting go. I’m making this worse.

You’re already fully sobbing, it’s actually pretty loud, and you’re trying to hit me. I grab hold of your nose and cover your mouth, pulling you closer into my chest the more you struggled and kicked the air. Your dainty hands are trying to pry my arms away, but you’re growing weak. My focus, however... is on the car.

It pulls out of its parking spot and doesn’t waste any time driving off. Who the hell is that? Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK.

The lack of oxygen is finally getting to you. You’re letting out muffled screams now, further wasting whatever energy you have left.

I rest my head into the crook of your neck and you finally begin to settle down. I’m tense, angry. I’d like to think it isn’t your fault, but I have a feeling you know who was in that car.

I’m now realizing, as you start to go limp in my hold, I’ve probably made better choices in the past.

#joe goldberg #joe goldberg x reader #love quinn x reader #love quinn #forty quinn x reader #forty quinn #you #netflix you #x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #fanfiction

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

Text

Ghosting A Wayne

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult content +18 only!! Smut, Agegap, Swearing, A Little Angst?

A/n:Ok so this is the first real full smut iv done and im super nervous about posting this one i hope its good but if its shit im sorry hope you enjoyxx

After getting cold feet because of your own insecurities you get a visitor pick you up from work.

Ghosting A Wayne

You sighed as you pulled out a batch of cookies from the oven placing the three large trays out on the cooling racks today was a baking day to fill the display out the front ,you'd been alone with your thoughts all day and were just about done, glancing at the clock you fist pumped the air. Home time. You quickly undone your apron hanging it on the hook by the kitchen door then called out to Tom that your shift was done.

After your first lunch date with Bruce you intended to leave it there but the man was very persistent... and charming somehow he'd managed to talk you in circles and wrangle a second date and third and forth. you'd canceled your fifth using work as an excuse and he bought it for about a week, then he began asking when you were free telling you to call him giving you his personal number which you didn't call.

That worked for about three days before he began messaging you about a date you replied with excuses it seemed to work until he showed up at the door to drop Damien round instead of Alfred, Jack had covered for you not letting either of them in saying you were ill. It wasn't that you didn't like him or anything you were scared, scared of getting hurt he was amazing a perfect gentleman he made you laugh he took you to fancy places but didn't make you uncomfortable even going so far as to berate another guest as he heard them make a comment of the restaurant 'letting anyone in these days' when he was returning from the rest room , you felt special and safe with him.

But he was The Bruce Wayne and nothing would ever come of it. Someone like you had no right to be with someone like him, he deserved a high class well educated successful woman not a minimum wage cafe worker who dropped out of college. You found yourself growing to attached to him and it had frightened you. Not only that but what would people say when they found out, probably think your a charity case or a gold digger you could see the headlines now ' The playboys new sugar baby' with photos of you plastered across the tabloids you shivered.

Damien had spoke to you about it he was far to smart for his own good telling you your being a 'stupid female' and that you should just talk to Bruce about it, Jack also scolded you for being stupid and letting your insecurities hold you back.

The boy had been soo happy for you when you were going out with Bruce, he admitted that he felt responsible for you being alone and not having friends or a boyfriend it broke your heart, hearing how he blamed himself for it, yes it had been hard taking on a 8 year old at 20 years old and yes you did need to grow up quicker then most and avoid the typical early twenties drinking and clubbing but you wouldn't change a thing. When he had brought it up you both had a heart to heart and you were gobsmacked at just how mature he had soundec. He told you that he didn't care about Bruce being Damien's dad or that he was older than you, he was happy that you had someone who made you happy and wanted you to got out with him again and be happy. The boys didn't understand.

"Tom I'm finished don't touch the cookies before they cool you can have one to test but that's it theirs 48 here I've counted, so if you have anymore I will know its you, you greedy little shit" you said opeing the door you walked straight into him he was wide eyed pointing out to the font over his shouldet. You froze thinking the worst it was gotham afterall.

"Oh my god tom?"

"You have.. Out the there.... Man front" he said not making any sense you pushed past him through the door

"whats wron-"

"y/n!" you snapped your head to the counter seeing Bruce standing their ignoring the odd looks he received from the other few customers scattered about in the cafe. You slung your bag over your shoulder cradling your coat in the other hand cursing quietly. Scanning the cafe for a quick exit wanting to run. There was one way in and out and he was between you and the door. Giving in you plastered on a polite smile.

"Bruce what are you doing here?" you asked tentatively due to the blank look on his face unsure what mood he would be in after you ghosted him. Making your way around the counter he followed on the other side meeting you at the end.

"I wanted to take you out, Jack told me when you finished so I thought I'd come pick you up for dinner" you felt the gazes in the room shift from him to you and the whispers started. Bruce held out a hand taking your coat from you while you tried to come up with a reason not to your anxiety screaming at you to run. You sighed at him biting your lower lip raw he lifted a hand pulling it gently forcing you to release it. He smiled meeting your eyes trying to calm you.

"Bruce I don't feel like going out tonight can we reschedule?" hooking his arm around your waist guiding you out of the cafe past the gossiping customers opening the door for the both of you pressing himself to your back giving you no room to bolt away. Hed catch you anyway.

"Good news, we don't have to go out Alfred is making us dinner back home, so we get to have a relaxing night in." you nodded as you left walking down the street feeling your nerves spike as you realized there was no reason to avoid this. He kept pace with you to the side arms ready to dart out and catch you as you glanced around a little skittish he ushered you into a ridiculously expensive Lamborghini and took off down the road.

"So that's Tom then? the one you were talking about?" he started you were confused as he acted like you hadn't been avoiding him for the past week and half you just nodded.

"Err yeah that's him we get along work really well, I was doing all the baking today couldn't handle the customers they were doing my head in." he nodded placing a warm hand on your knee running his thumb in small circles you took a deep breath.

"I know what you mean, had a lot of meetings today with a bunch little men wanting me to over invest in companies that wont last the financial year" you tensed as he left his hand on your leg still navigating the traffic, you tried to shift your led from underneath him but he just followed squeezing it lightly making your breath hitch and clench your walls tight.

"Sh-shouldn't you have both hands on the wheel in a car like this?" you asked quietly he laughed giving you a mischievous look then you screamed as he let go of the wheel completely still picking up speed quickly.

"OH MY GOD BRUCE NO!" you cried leaning over grabbing it yourself he just laughed out loud placing one hand back on it the other still resting on your knee.

"Its fine I could probably drive this with my eyes closed, it's nothing like my other car" he said cheekily as he made his way towards the outskirts of gotham you swallowed nervously.

"yeah please dont do that"

"Don't worry I'd never let anything happen to you sweets" you blushed as he used the nickname he'd given you onde he found out about your sweet tooth and the fact you do all the baking at the cafe.

"He says after driving without hands." you scoffed looking out of the window as the scenery changed. It wasn't long before you pulled up to the manor. It was impressive you'd only been inside twice whilst waiting for Jack to get his things he thought it was the perfect place to hid from his dentist and doctors appointments. Once out of the car he lead you inside where Alfred greeted you both.

"Ah Master Wayne dinner will take another hour or so I'm afraid and Y/n its lovely to see you again." Bruce gave you both a look seeking an explanation for the first name basis.

"Have you met everyone in this house before me?" he asked sarcastically you smiled at him before Alfred took your coats hanging them up.

"Well sometimes the boys play about getting ready so Alfred comes in for tea whilst we wait and I've met Tim he has come over a few times drank my whole pot of coffee and left." he grunted before leading you to a small sitting room off to the side.

"We will be in here Alfred call us when dinner is ready." Alfred nodded smiling slyly before closing the door leaving you in private. You sat down on the leather sofa a nervous wreck looking around the opulent room feeling out of place, he took a seat beside you offering you a glass of what you assumed was scotch he sat and leaned in next to you. Relaxing as he took a slow sip of his drink.

"Don't look so worried the boys explained for you. Your scared of getting hurt I can understand that I don't exactly have the best record but I'm not giving up as you can tell."you looked down into your glass a little ashamed as you heard hurt laced in his words.

"I-its not that, its me I.. I love spending time with you I really do... but I dont think you should waste your time on me... thats all" he frowned you sounded so ...defeated , he didnt like it one bit placing his glass down putting two and two together. That he didn't know Damien said you were being a 'difficult woman' and Jack had said that you hadn't dated since school and were afraid of being hurt he summarised that it was because of him but it sounds like there was more to it then that. Bruce took a deep breath regarding you carefully.

"Waste my time? why would spending time with you be a waste. There is something between us, I have never felt this type of pull to a woman before and I'm quite determind to see you if you havent already noticed" he said sternly you shrunk into the sofa he sighed pulling the glass tumbler from you hand.

"Whats really going on? we were going fine then you just pulled back. I want this, us and I know you do to but we have to talk to each other." You leaned forward locking eyes with him feeling overwhelmed you shook your head pulling back he followed leaning back pulling you across the seat wrapping his arms around you pulling your face into his chest holding you, you tried pulling yourself off of him but he was to stronger than he looked. You Gave up then took a deep breath endulging in the closeness breathing him in.

"Talk to me please" he spoke quietly into your hair

"I cant, I just cant, your-I, you need someone better. And if people find out then what will they think? that I'm a charity case some passing fancy? that you'll get bored with and you will bruce. When you find some older succsessfull women who equals you. someone that I can never be for you. I wont be good enough for you and you'll see it one day" once you started you couldn't stop as the words kept coming your fears poured out after being kept bottled up since that very first date.Fears of loving him and then him leaving, or of what backlash Jack could face if you were painted to be a whore trying to capture Bruces attention, the cps could investigate if it seemed like you were becoming a party girl like what Bruce typically dated. Then there was the fact that the school could start being funny if word got out that you and bruce were together. But the main reason was that he was to good for you and you knew it. You heaved a breath feeling lighter yet your stomach churned he had been quiet throughout and you'd gotten yourself worked up shaking from your anxiety feeling sick to your stomach.

"I'm sorry I know I should have spoke to you instead but I... I was scared that you were going to realize I'm right and leave ...so" he hushed you rubbing your back lightly causing you to shiver and relax onto his chest.

"So you left before I could?" you flinched then nodded it sounded so petty when said out loud he moved sitting up a bit more dragging you with him not releasing you for a second, he would have preferred if it had all been about his past but now realized you had low self esteem you had fears about the future, the age gap, Jacks future and how people would judge you all of these fear were to blame. And he understood it must be daughting, but what got him most was that you thought he'd let you deal with it alone , that you were so scared of loosing him in the long run you tried to walk away now and that was all the proof he needed that you did feel somthing for him.

"Tell me something does Jack have a problem with you being with me?" he asked you shook your head instantly.

"No he loves it, he wants me to be with you he saw how happy I was he has been pestering me to call" he pulled his head away smiling confusing you.

"I can tell you that Damien is thrilled he has even been bragging to his brothers that I've found the perfect woman and they cant wait to meet you by the way the

and he threatened me before every date to 'not to fuck it up' so let me ask another question if Jack, Damien me and you are happy what does anyone else's opinion matter? it's our life why should we make ourselves miserable over a few tabloids that can be taken to court and be corrected? and I do have reporters that I trust with these type of stories one is a very close friend who I could give an exclusive to before any rumors get around and the press make up some nonsense. Not only that I know Clark wold print the truth if he knew that it involved the boys being bullied in the school." he let you pull back shocked you didnt think he would want anyone to know, you thought hed be ashamed of you.

"wh-what?" it was bearly a whisper but he heard it.

"You heard me sweets, Clark wouldn't let me down not with this and there are other reporters who I've trusted to cover stories of the boys in the past one phone call and I would have everything sorted and anyone who tries to make this something its not will feel the full force of my legal team." he leaned in giving you no time to reply kissing you deeply invading your mouth moaning into you. His tongue dominated your mouth taking your breath away he paused pulling you to straddle his waist you blushed looking down at him.Trying to put your weight on your knees conscious of your weight Bruce not having any of that tugged harshly pulling your weight on his thighs.

"And as for finding someone better I doubt it. I've said it before and I will say it again I want you. Not some stuck up model who's one surgery away from being on botched. The day we met I was floored and for the first time I saw what I truly wanted for me and my family. And it wasn't some highly educated business woman, no it was a sexy little mama bear who treated my son as her own." you gasped as he brought your hips closer resting you on his crotch before leaning forward capturing your lips again this time slow and deliberate pouring himself into it you, you moaned quietly as he rocked you across his groin. Pulling back for air

"So little miss now we have all that cleared up is there anything you want to add?"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" you gasped out trying to collect yourself as you began getting tearful as you felt stupid for being so silly yet relieved that he hadn't thrown you out, he chuckled shushing you then moved biting at your earlobe .

"That's ok love I'm sure you'll make it up to me" he said kissing down your neck biting below your ear then lower to your pulse point feeling it race under his tongue before sucking harshly bordering on painful.

"o-OH Bruce" you gasped gripping his shoulder trying not to lean back to far and fall he noticed using and arm to hold you elbow resting on your waist curling his fingers into your low bun pulling slowly stretching your neck before him leaving marks up it you groaned closing your eyes trying to rub your thighs together as your pussy grew hot and clenched dampening your panties he ran his nose down your neck kissing your collar bone lightly.

"Aww sweety so desperate hm?" you whined squeezing his hips between your thighs again grinding softly against him he chuckled biting the top of your breast running his tongue along your cleavage unbuttoning your blouse with deft fingers then returned them to your hips pushing you harshly on his erection you cried out looking down panting as he dragged you slowly back and forth feeling him through his trousers was almost to much you fisted your hands in the crisp shirt covering his shoulders. He let out a breathy growl smug as you started trying to rock on him faster pouting when he held you controlling your pace circling you slow on his bulge dipping his thumbs into your pelvis tilting you catching your clit with every pass of your hips you shook your head eyes tightly shut.

"OH fuck shiiitt Bruce" he watched eyes blown as he built you up slowly drinking in your flushed face pouty full lips forming an 'o' as you let out high pitched cries his hands smothered your breasts squeezing them in his palms testing them before he tipped the cups down teasing your pink nipples to attention. You opened your eyes glazed over pleading with him.

"Please Bruce... I dont-fuck" you moaned high and louder almost squeeling as he pinched one of your nipples refusing to let go pulling your chest towards him by it until he could lay a sweet kiss to the other suckling catching it between his teeth nipping it letting go with a loud pop. You panted harder as he toyed with you, your body trembled as he pulled you closer to the edge your clit rubbed harshly against him and he growled relishing in the way your heat seeped onto him. He couldn't wait. He wouldn't. With a one sweeping motion you found yourself lying on the sofa with him hovering over you pulling your leggings down over your hips skimming your quivering thighs with his knuckles befor rubbing your calves and griping your ankles encircling them effortlesly, running his thumbs across the inside of them . Following bending as he went kissing your soft stomach and pelvis finally leaving a small kiss on your mound over your panties you moaned at that. He slipped your leggings off taking your flats with them you blushed as he stared seeing the wet patch you'd left on your panties crawling back up you exploring with his hands the whole way. Hooking a hand around to back of your neck he pulled you up into a bruising kiss needy as he angled his head to devour you deeper his other hand dragging your shirt from you by the back of the neck unclipping your bra and he went lowering you back down you blushed trying to cover yourself he growled pinning them beside you.

"Nooo you dont babe, let me see, show me" he ground out a deep gruntle sound that vibrated threw you trailing the tips of his fingers from your throat down in slow unpredictable patterns leaving goosebumps in his wake your nipples pebbled as he past them your whole body shuddered

"Fuck. Your stunning" you didn't meet his gaze it was to hot, posessive like he was claiming you already just with his eyes watching closely memorizing every freckle and mark on your skin, he let out a deep shuddering breath when you arched up inyo him as he fingered the bow on the waist band of your panties back and forth he brought his fingers lower and lower across your mound. You squirmed trying to buck up against him trying to get him where you desperately needed him whimpering pitifully. His response was to stretch out his fingers across your lower tummy and push you back down holding you still. You protested as his warm hand covered your whole mound and rocked forward trying to catch your clit on the heal of his palm that rested just out of reach.

"Such a greedy little thing. I think I'm going to have to work on your manners" he chided before using a hand to unbutton his shirt revealing a perfectly sculpted torso, you made a noise in the back of your throat that you didn't recognize at the sight of him, caramel skin taught over deliciously defined muscles and small thatch of hair disappearing below a teasingly low hanging trousers he let the shirt slide to the floor undoing his belt then slowly pulled his trousers over his hip grunting thrusting forward as it glided over his cock. You bit your lip still trying to move against his heavy hand he granted you a little mercy twisting as the wrist slotting his thumb between your lips seeking your clit and rubbing a figure 8 hard.

"AHH! F-Fuck BRUCE yes oh god-" you gasped deep breaths as he rolled your cilt around almost rough in his ministrations the fabric of you panties hieghtend the sensation you closed your eyes grinding yourself down on him tears leaked from them his other hand came up to your throat forcing you to face him.

"Look at me baby. come on let me see you... ah there she is good girl" he praised as you looked at him tears clinging to your lashes his hand still working you. Sobbing incoherently trying to buck up to him.

"OH fuck please-PLEASE let me come bruce please I'll do anything PLEASE" you breathed out hoarse gasping when your pussy weeped wetting the sofa below you he played you like an instrument taking you higher and higher you clenched and withered as you felt that familiar burn of an orgasm start in your lower tummy , almost cramping as it traveld lower to your pussy you chased it trying to rock harder just as you were at the presapice he stopped pulling his thumb away bit still pinned you down.

"AH! NO Br-BRUCE come back" you sobbed reaching out for him as your body hummed hot and quivering you gave up on finding his hand throwing yours between you trying to take over and force yourself over the edge. Soo close. Bruce was quicker catching them in one hand pulling them above you head. He watched waiting for you to come down from the almost high. Pouting all the way.

"You can count that as your punishment babe" he whispered huskliey into your neck kissing at the marks he has left. You cried out frustarated sweaty and exhasted.

"But im feeling a little mercifull tonight." you looked at him from below your lashes his heart skipped a beat seeing you look at him so needy and ready you looked so small,he could do anything to you right now but only wanted one thing. Shuffling back leaning down he placed an open mouthed kiss on your panties slipping his fingers in the sides draging them off before standing removing his boxers freeing his erection you gasped as it bounced up tapping his stomach ,hesitantly you reached out running a single finger along the underside from tip to base he jerked forward when you cupped him testing your grip befor stroking him he stopped you

"Fuck sorry babe but I cant wait." he growled out pinning you back down running his weeping head up and down your slit you tensed as he probed your enterance. Sensing your nerves he locked lips with you coaxing out your tongue sucking on it before licking in your mouth makeing obscene noises feeling you relax he took the chance and slowly begun stretching you around him ,you gasped at the slight sting pulling back rest your forehead on his grunting softly as he kept a slow steady pressure finally knocking his hips with yours you panted feeling your walls fluttering around him then squeezing

"shit Bruce" he huffed out a laugh flexing in response

"carefull there babe" you grunted feeling stuffed full as his head pushed against your cervix.

"Bruce please...HUrry up!" you clenched him stealing his breath from him he gave a playfull glare you felt a little tremor of apprehension as he repostioned your legs higher on his hips placing your heels into his lower back before plowing you into the sofa grunting and growling as his thrusts rocked your body you were by no means quiet as the veins on his cock massaged your walls with delicious friction he slowed then pressed himself tight against your clit rotating catching your gspot you bucked violenty against him head thrown back as you wailed he leaned up sucking and biting at your neck then resumed finding a brutal pace aiming for your gspot hitting it with pinpoint accuracy. You shook your head screaming out uncontrollably bucking begging for him to go harder, faster just wanting more. It wasn't long befor you saw stars letting out a silent scream tensing before you snapped cumming around him almost blinded as he rode you through it still hitting your spot faster if that was even possible before stuttering his hips holding himself tight locking you both together as he flooded you.

"OH GOD fuck FUCK yesyesyes good girl yes fuck" he moaned as you lay beneath him, limp body still quacking in the aftermath of your own end. He stayed still until he was soft catching his breath recovering before you removing himself he sat back on his knees watching as he leaked from you quick to scoop his cum and press it back within you, you whined still painfully oversensitive trying to pull away from his invading fingers. he chuckled as you squirmed utterly spent.

"nooo bruce" you whined as he prodded your freshly fucked pussy lighly grazing your abused clit causing you to whine at him pitifully jolting with every swipe.

"Aww baby are you sore?" you pouted at his words nodding he got up sitting you up handing you your forgotton drink you took it gulping it down ignoring the burn. he retrived his boxers throwing them on then a soft blanket covering you before scooping you up heading for the door.

"Bruce? what are you doing?" you asked gorgily already struggiljng to stay awake he leant down shutting you up with a kiss.

"We are going to bed you need some sleep before we continue." you blinked

"wha?" he grinned cheekily

"well how are we going to build up your stamina if we dont push past your exhaustion?" you almost cried just wanting to sleep.

"What about Alfred dinner?" you questioned

"He didnt make any I had to have a reason to get you here didnt I? he went to bed. and dont worry about Jack he is staying over in a room next to Damien's" you looked at him shocked

"What why was he here? do you think he could have heard me? bruce!" you panicked suddenly fully awake trying to wiggle out of his grip he laughed kissing your face.

"Oh my god what about our clothes? Bruce go back and shit we made a mess i need to clean that up..Bruce are you listening?" You created as he continued further away from the room youd just soild.

"he didnt hear you at all it was one of his demands when we planned this. And dont worry about the room or the clothes alfred will take care of it" he said scaling the stairs with ease taking you to his room

"planned? you who else knew? And what do you mean alfred will take care of it? no absolutly not that is embarassing" you argued as he kicked the door to his room shut behind him depositing you on his bed following you down landing above you kissing you again.

"me alfred damien and jack planned it but dick and jason knew too thats why they are scarce and alfred has cleard up worse trust me." he explained you stared at him in horror

"My little brother set me up with you?oh my god I'm not going to live that down and i need to clear that up its to embarassing for alfred to see" you cried he laughed out loud.

"Well I think its was worth it, and you can try and beat Alfred to it but that room will be ccleared up before sunrise and you won't be leaving this bed before then" he said snuggling up with you under the cover ,you made a noise as he tucked you into his chest his heart beat calming you making you drift into a peaceful sleep resting on his chest, feeling safe and sound wrapped up in him as he traced patterns on your back, sighing he was finally content a peace he hadnt known befor washed over him satisfied that he had found the woman that would complete his family, his chest swelled as he placed a kiss on your head. He wasn't ever letting you go now that he had you here. Glancing over at the clock, hed give you an hour or so to build up some energy before he woke you smirkjng to himslef planing all the wicked ways he was going to toy with you during the night. Oh yes the night was young and if Bruce had his way you wouldnt be leaving his bed tomorrow because you wouldnt be able to, thankfully you hade a few days off so he might let you recover. Then again he might not.

#bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayned fic #bruce wayne x reader #batmom imagines #batman x y/n #bruce wayne smut #bruce wayne x y/n #bruce wayne x you #dc x y/n #dc x reader

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seoafin · 3 years

Note

BYE I WAS IMMERSED WITH GENSHIN’s STORY PLOT (AND THE FANARTS ON MY TL) WHICH WAS ALSO DROPPED EARLIER THIS MORNING AND FORGOT ABT JJK FOR A SPLIT SEVONDSJJSJEJ

but anyways ,, jjk 145// the more i write abt it, the more i’ll sound incoherent, this is ur last warning to ignore this 🧍‍♂️(1)

the one who is based on avalokitesvara (i’ll start calling it them as kannon from now) that i mentioned was actually brain (out of ppl) 😭😭

kenjaku (羂索) is shorten from "不空羂索観音 (fukukenjakukannon)" ,, they existed b4 the heian period... older then sukuna ?? suggested that brain is at least 1k years old... hsjsjjsjs

fukukenjakukannon, a manifestation of the buddhist god of mercy and compassion,, perhaps of some interest is that the fukukenjaku shares some kanji with gojou's infinite void followed by kanjis for trap & rope, with kannon directly referring to an all-knowing/overseeing divine existence. it rly does seem that kenjaku, tengen, and gojou's fates have all been strongly interwined throughout history,, kannon has been perceived as both male and female depending on the portrayal and the region, not unlike jjk's kenjaku switching bodies and genders over the course of time (kamo vs kaori vs getou)

some associations with kannon may be relevant to jjk. namely, as yuki mentions, salvation ,, kannon is a deity to serve his subjects, and resolve their suffering by eliminating its source,,, in which case, i think kenjaku's goal may possibly not be too far off from geto’s ,,,,, he may think that he is saving a group that is enduring greater suffering than any other. whether that is shamans, cursed spirits, or sth else entirely is up for debate. given his persistence over the millenia, and the likelihood of spreading suffering worldwide through a universal tengen merger, it's more than likely that he has a very personal motive. note that under his plan it is specifically the evil of a human that would spread and destroy all of humankind connected through tengen

this is an interesting contrast to sukuna, who is much more whimsical and far less calculated. i think the clash between these 2 in the past will have strong relevance for the future,,, on the other hand, since kannon has historically manifested in response to the suffering of various beings, it may be that the feelings of cursed spirits as a whole have led to kenjaku's existence. he could very well be a curse born from curses, instead of from humans.

okay now what i'm really excited abt: the relationship between kenjaku and the 6 eyes. 1 of the functions of kannon is to protect the 6 realms of rebirth/the 6 paths. u may already be familiar with this buddhist concept as it has been referenced in a variety of animanga (notably it is a major plot point of naruto, it's mukuro's ability in KHR, etc.). there's strong reason to believe this concept also has connections to the gojou 6 eyes ability. i think if we get to learn more abt the 6 eyes, i may be able to speak more on this point.

(as a side note here, i’ll mention that there’s an association between kannon and the protection of aborted children, perhaps relating to og kamo and the death paintings)

at the very least, we know that kenjaku and the 6 eyes are in opposition, and i'm speculating that the gojou bloodline is the true manifestation of a protective deity, at least for the humans, and kenjaku's goals are antithetical to that,,, perhaps, as yuki kind of suggested, taking the name kenjaku is a joke of sorts. if sukuna is malevolence incarnate, kenjaku is mercilesness,,

i think some of the core concepts being explored by the tengen storyline are that of form and existence. gojou satoru, tengen, kenjaku, and eventually the star plasma vessels are existences that transcend the norm,,, toji on the other hand, is the only example of the opposite. an existence that shouldn't have ever existed, in a sense. kenjaku seemed to have used that to his advantage in his manipulation of the events in hidden inventory,,, but it also leads me to believe that only a similar anomaly could undo the new destiny he's setting up for himself.

geto was the perfect piece to set kenjaku up for success in conducting a merger and putting this culling game into motion. geto's path has led to this outcome,,, in which case, an apt parallel as we have known all along is that gojou's path should lead to the counter-outcome: megumi, yuuta, and especially yuuji— these 3 will be the key to unravelling kenjaku's plan.

also tengen said that kenjaku’s objective is to send all the ppl in jpn to higan or turning all non shamans into one but he doesnt have enough cursed energy to do that,,, i did say that yuuji’s birthday took place in the 4th solar term where a part of a week long celebration haru no higan (higan 彼岸→other shore, buddhist pārāmitā), when ppl would honour the dead and sweep ancestral tombs took place,,,

so theres this buddhist mantra, called the “heart sutra” and the last verse of the sutra is,,

there are many sutras in buddhism, but the most well-known among them is probably the Heart Sutra,, altho it depends on the sect (of buddhism), the heart sutra is often read at funerals and memorial services, so even if,, and for some reason the sutra is often associated to kannon even in the utube thumbnail 👁👁 if u search up prajnaparamita sutra,,

heart sutra has the meaning of "an important teaching to reach the state of enlightenment by the power to see through the truth and essence." which is based on the idea of "void" as this important teaching,, the sutra tells us what we shld do to be free from the suffering of this world and live in peace,, in the heart sutra, the idea of "void" is especially important.

buddhism can be broadly divided into theravada and mahayana buddhism,,,,

theravada is a teaching that only some ppl (those who practice buddhism with strict lifestyle like the monks) reach the state of enlightenment, while mahayana is a teaching that all ppl (some who practice Buddhism) can reach enlightment even if u dont practice anything related to the religion,,, the idea of the void has the idea of not being caught up in individual things and not being obsessed with it, and the idea of heart sutra belongs to the category of mahayana buddhism

"void" does not mean "empty" but "no substance (no fixed shape)". the sutra also states that "everything keeps changing" and "although it keeps changing, the essence (core) of things remains the same."

for eg, the idea is, "i am me, no matter how old i am,, my appearance and various abilities deteriorate, how I am evaluated by others, whether i feel good or bad."

in other words,,, it’s a teaching to be aware of the essence without being caught up in the phenomenon of change.

"void" means "no substance (no fixed shape)", which means that u don't have to be obsessed with things or get caught up in one value.

eg, the reason why diamonds are beautiful is that diamonds arent beautiful from the beginning, but that humans decide that they’re beautiful,,, and that each person has a fixed evaluation of the movement of their hearts that they feel is beautiful. but thats not always the case right?

the last verse goes like this :

“Therefore, Prajna Paramita is known as the most divine mantra,

the great enlightening mantra,

the utmost mantra,

the incomparable mantra,

destroyer of all suffering!

Since what is true is not in vain, listen to the mantra of the Prajna Paramita– it goes like this:

GATE GATE PARA GATE PARASAM GATE BODHI SVAHA!”

the translation of the last line is: “going, going, going on beyond, always going on beyond, always becoming buddha.”

quoted from a web here : “it suggests movement toward awakening. It expresses the enlightenment of a buddha as an unfolding process, rather than a steady state. It puts us in the hopeful position of one who may not have arrived, but who may be on the way. The destination may not be an end, but the journey itself.

As appealing as this translation is, it is by no means the only one. When you do an Internet search for the terms “Heart Sutra” or “Prajna Paramita” you get numerous references. At these various pages you will find several different translations of the mantra. These include:

* Gone, gone, gone beyond, gone altogether beyond. Oh what an awakening! All hail!

* Gone, gone, gone beyond altogether beyond, Awakening, fulfilled!

* Gone, gone, gone to the Other Shore, attained the Other Shore having never left.

* Gone, gone, totally gone, totally completely gone, enlightened, so be it.

* “Oh, you have done! You have done! You have completely crossed the margin. This is Enlightenment! Congratulations!” “

the irony though of toji dying thinking that he should've stuck his principles but actually having ridiculous impact on the world,, this also puts a new spin on the "look upon the flesh of one who is free" (afaik it was left untranslated on his cover page when he invade dagon’s domain) and the implication is imo,,, the more cursed energy, the more restrictions and so in a way humanity goes into a devolution the more cursed energy there is because they will be bound even more tightly to the cycle than before,, which is the irony of the kenjaku & bodhisattva linkage

toji had a heavenly restriction and has zero cursed energy, which is an anomaly that is his own, which makes me wonder what he would've been like if he had an expressed technique,,, but it's the zero cursed energy part, that uniqueness, that makes him powerful in canon

im rly curious how having cursed power automatically seems to lock u into a binding,,, which is seemingly fate. the shaman world rly operates entirely on rules,, where this is because of tengen's barriers or the origin of techniques being more commonplace im not sure

i used to think CTs came abt when individual sorcerers made pacts with supernatural beings etc but now im not sure,, despite leaning hard on shinto and buddhist frameworks there isnt much overt indication over what is and is not a real power in canon,,, like we have mahoraga but are bodhisattvas assumed to be real and exist? or as figures of belief, are they and other figures of shinto mythology, all just cursed spirits in the end?

but that tengen is linked with the proliferation of 6 eyes and star plasma vessel, makes me start wondering how and why tengen started this whole barrier thing,, like yes jpn has a ton of cursed spirits but was it before or after the barrier i can't remember now

maybe Kenjaku was messing around too much back then,, i like how sukuna also maybe had very lil to do with this and is possibly going to interfere as a wild card once more. is the idea to use him as a hail mary so u convey more ppl to the other side all at once? unless kenjaku thinks sukuna is the person who got closest to the next evolution of humankind and is actually a fan 🥴

but yeah if sukuna and megumi can remake the world together can they just hit the reset button so tengen isn't somehow this massive jungian collective unconscious? is sukuna going to accidentally save the world lol,,, i didn't care for fate themes before since it felt like akutami hadn't wholly committed to it as a theme,,, but fate and collective responsibility/influence on the individual just became a much bigger theme

also the mind/body/soul thing with tengen,,, when is that idea coming back

so tengen and sukuna are so far the only ppl who have said to have evolved into curses, whereas kenjaku still seems to be a shaman, as well as angel. what catalyzes that??

also how tf are the cursed weapons made i have questions,, just putting it out here but i actually thought that if toji, presumably, didnt rebel and defected from the clan,,, what are the chances of zenin thinking of turning him into a cursed weapon lol

,,, does being a cursed spirit mean u are bound even more tightly to fate? or do u escape because u are no longer a human bound by ur technique and u are instead just energy that keeps cycling over and over.....cursed energy rly just karma with strength mechanics???

why did gojou get rid of the black rope only for yuuta go to find more??? seems contradictory,, like...did he exorcise sth in that couple years gap?? or were there other reasons? or is HE the one scared since he also hid the inverted spear of heaven,,, makes me wonder how common knowledge all these mechanics actually are

trying to wrap my head around potential megumi learned helplessness or not being able to work through his own problems, or if it's this weird backward wishing that he didn't HAVE to deal with problems if he didn't HAVE to do these things and there were simple solutions,,, like i don't think he's exactly lazy bc he seems to do a lot of work behind the scenes, but there's a certain stasis to him, a wishing not to know. i wonder if he was ever given the "u are a child and I'm the adult" speech nanami gave yuuji

nanami, qifrey and maybe reigen are the adult/ mentor figures i wish was/ is in my life orz

i think it's kind of funny how 145 is like suddenly christianity! this manga is just abt the many ways people seek freedom and want to be delivered,,,

but im not going to talk abt it 😔 — i only have lil to no knowledge abt it other than the lil trivias my friends dropped time to time whenever we’re having a discourse abt religion suddenly lmao and im not a big fan of talking abt things idk abt bc i’ll just look stupid otherwise LMAO

its interesting to note that christian have this uh for a lack of better way to describe it, higher power which can grant u eternal salvation or damnation while buddhism is just fending for urself in pursuit of enlightment ,,, while buddhism also have beings like devas/ deities it just means that 1) if ur born as one, u must have done a good deed sometime in one of ur previous lives,, 2) u just have a ridiculous long life span but yes u’ll eventually die again and rebirth as sth depending on ur actions,,, that goes for living in gods, demi-gods, humans, animals, hungry ghosts or hells realms

this is completely unrelated but,, my mother used to blast the heart sutra frequently in my house back then and the only thing i catch is the “gate gate parasamgate bodhi svaha” which i used ,, whenever i see sth..that is supposed to be unseen

theres this time i stayed behind in cram school for an exam,, i purposely took a another path from my usual one to clear my head (but im still familiar) and i saw this guy standing on the side road and the only thing that went thru my mind back them was “why is he not moving? is he waiting for someone? is he lost or sth,, the main road is just 6 foot away tho lol”

it was until i keep looking at each house that i finally notice that the spot he stood on is not even a ground lvl asphalt,, it’s a fucking sewer which means that he’s actually floating 😭😭 i just jogged and say sth along the line “wow today, ma is cooking hotpot for dinner (i actually have no idea what she plans to cook everyday) i dont want to eat it cold,, so i better hurry up” out loud while chanting the verse in my head

theres also this time me and a friend were sitting on my motorcycle after getting our late night food run until a particular smell and when we stay silent, a woman is singing on the branch right above us that we dipped right away and i almost catch a ticket for speeding all the while thinking abt that verse💀

i dont mind seeing one of “them” but i do have a problem with them following me back home and end up haunting my house for some period of time,, that one or sth ghost who slam things around and giggle in the middle of the night is enough for me to deal with 😀

now im off crying abt genshin (again) now and i’ll go back to sleep afterwards,,, ALSO I LOVE WITCH HATE ATALIERJSJEJEJ- 🐱 (2)

you literally brought up THE SAME EXACT QUESTIONS I HAVE!!! like why would gojo send yuuta to find more of the rope if he destroyed it in the first place?? unless he destroyed it in the heat of the battle with miguel during the prequel but it didn’t look like that. also i saw on twitter kenjaku might not even be a male?? apparently when referring to kenjaku, tengen didn’t use gendered pronouns. im also super curious as to how the six eyes, star plasma vessel (riko...), tengen, and kenjaku are all entwined because kenjaku’s plan was a long time coming, even though he was foiled two times already.

this reminds me of the heavenly restrictions because im still so confused about what exactly it is!! is it something a person is born with or is it something that is placed on a baby by another person??

you brought up fate too and i think that’s such an interesting concept like with akutami making more and more references to the heian era and the “golden age of sorcery” in the end I feel like everything led up to this moment. the existence of cursed energy too just feels like this “endless cycle of fate” which makes sense considering this theme also kinda aligns with yuuji’s birth which was pre planned. idk...this whole thing is suddenly feeling so much more insidious than we may have originally thought.

the sudden christianity mention is a pretty odd choice on akutami’s part but a lot of ppl (including me) are speculating that hana is going to be a harbinger of doom or something. once again is she even japanese?? the western concept of angels have never been particularly altruistic either.

unfortunately gojo has always been treating megumi like an adult so i don’t think he was ever given the “you are a child” talk from gojo. we can see it in their first meeting too. when their conversation takes a turn to serious, it becomes a conversation is from one adult to another. gojo also seems like the type to pile even more responsibility onto megumi because gojo isn’t responsible, so megumi had to pick up that slack.

i agree with you. i think sukuna is literally a wild card LMAO he does what he wants when he wants and that’s in. i don’t even think you can have a contingency plan for sukuna because he’s just that unpredictable!!!

nanami, qifrey and MAYBE reigen LSDNFKJFKN....reigen beats gojo by far though so i’ll give reigen that (that's not saying much tho tbh 😭) reigen's still sexy as hell tho 😁

also you mentioned khr!! khr is one of my favorite mangas of all time....although amano akira cannot write women despite being one khr still holds a very special place in my heart. i had no idea mukuro was influenced by kannon (to be fair i was like 14) but then again...mukuro’s eyes....i can’t believe our tastes in animanga are the same....bestie our taste>>>

HELLO???? YOU’RE RUNNING INTO SUPERNATURAL CREATURES LIKE THAT??? also motorcycles!! now im like 80% sure you're in SEA somewhere, bc as someone who lived in a SEA country for 3 years and went to school in a haunted building I feel you LMAO

#as always....you truly never miss!!!!#and witch hat atelier is sooo good #i love qifrey....white haired anime man of my heart!!!#🐱 anon #all ur analyses are MWAH

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-06

♪ HS2 HS2 is baaaaack ♪

♪ HS2bloggin here we gooooo ♪

♪ Structural changes on their team but I don’t caaaaare ♪

♪ Already resooolved myself that its NOOOT gonna beee as good ♪ with inattentiveness to details characters like Terezi forgetting-what-they-used-to-know and an obsession with dwelling on traaageeeDEEE without relief-or-considering how weee’d feeeeeeel~ ♪♪♪ --so just gonna enjoy-what-i-caaaaaan about iiit~ ♪♪♪

Okay time for bankruptcy

> CHAPTER 11. History's Most Notorious Haters

Let’s see how effectively my perky new lowered-expectations attitude lets me enjoy this comic *click*

wut

Oh. so is this Dave drawing comics about current events or Regular Calliope doing so for our very first lanky look at her presumably-grown-up-more cherub form

> Knight: Keep it real.

HOLY SHIT IT’S DAVEBOT AND ARADIA

so we just get to SEE them?! just like that??? no buildup or anything? :D

Okay I’m marking out a little that’s a good sign. Also what a nerdy cop-out to turn the roboteyes into glasses that’s barely passable which is perfect, the rest of his outfit looks pretty cool tho

DAVEBOT: and thats reason four hundred nineteen why despite my mans many accomplishments i will never acknowledge big skateboardings contrived message that tony hawk is the quintessential skater of our generation ARADIA: o_o DAVEBOT: not in these trying times

Good to see Ultimate Dave is being true to form with regards to the core of his personality

DAVEBOT: beep boop ARADIA: i have told you several times that i was a robot before and i know for a fact you dont have to say beep boop DAVEBOT: hm that sounds fake does not compute ARADIA: david DAVEBOT: mom

I was with this conversation until the last two lines what the fuck

(I’m reading into it aren’t I, Aradia was trying to be atypically proper -- even though she wouldn’t have the frame of reference to know without being specifically told that “Dave” was considered nickname shorthand for the human name David, and thus if she DID know there’s no reason she’d use it except to troll him -- and Dave’s just mocking her response. Without any shame about his continued weirdness of calling people Mom, and by without any shame I mean he made the choice EXPLICITLY to intentionally evoke the awkwardness. Wow I got a lot out of two lines.)

(Oh, also alt!Callie’s true Jade-body incarnation here probably prompted her to start using “David” by example. There, various mysteries solved via a pile of assumptions probably to be disproven in the next couple lines I read.)

The Knight and the Maid stare at each other briefly, having exchanged enough meaningful glances over their time together to know when to drop it.

Would Time players have an easier time gelling this way, like this particular smoothness? Dropping it just before it gets weird or excessively irritating?

(Overclasspecting)

ARADIA: i think we have exchanged enough meaningful glances over our time together to know when to drop this DAVEBOT: what i enjoy about our conversations is that you just say things like that

OKAY I SNRK’D AT THAT. That was funny.

Initially. And now I’m concerned whether Aradia is being controlled by the narrative-speak, or whether they’re both just humorously referencing the meta-text they can both see, or--

ARADIA: oh is that what you enjoy ARADIA: well we are both an infinite number of years old living countless lifetimes at once but thats no reason to waste any of our...

WHAT??!? She’s an Ultimate Self too?!?

Um, okay! Yeah! So they’re BOTH just riffing on the narrative then. But... why would Dave need a robot body to accommodate his Ultimate Psyche without getting sick but Rose not need it? I can understand Dirk not needing it because the merging of the full breadth of his multiversal individuality gels well with him being a God of the aspect governing the power of his multiversal individuality, but Aradia?

Were the robot bodies not necessary after all, and the sickness Rose suffered and Obama thought Dave would have suffered some sort of ruse? Are there shenanigans afoot? (Or are we going with the “troll biology is better” cop-out?)

She knows how this will play out, having undoubtedly tried this joke on her friend in some timeline or another. Their rapport reflects a unique combination of their matching aspects but greatly differing classes. One a passive but powerful servant to time, the other wielding the aspect like a honed blade.

WHAT????

PASSIVE SERVANT OF THE ASPECT?!? WHAT THE FUCK

Okay if that means anything like it sounds like I guess my class chart is finally blown up, sure, they only waited (*checks last edit date*) SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS TO BLOW THAT GUESS UP, SURE

Wow. Okay, I feel some obligation to jump to conclusions and say the whole class chart is wrong, but let me stay strapped in to see if “passive” is as literal as one would expect alt!Callie to mean, or it just means “an active class passive compared to other classes”. And, serving the aspect? Oh dammit, now people are gonna come at me advocating a Maid / Page dichotomy about actively serving the aspect versus allowing the aspect to be served... or Page / Maid even, jesus

I wish I had enough energy to have those chats anymore. I’d rather hold on and see the whole ridiculous chart scheme they have in mind... which is definitely (and hopefully) the one Andrew really drew up at the time and not made up by the staff, even if it throws away plenty of my old work... I’ll just stop thinking about it and keep reading.

...

--no, I don’t think I can just stop thinking about it yet. Dammit, brain.

So um. Maids serving their aspect. There was a whole “Maids serve” thing going on throughout the whole plot of Homestuck, but despite how prevalent it was, I wrote it off as the story riffing on the classical definition of Maid when the actual stuff Maids accomplished was something different and more specific, just like Knights constantly got riffed on for chivalry and the like. Furthermore, service seemed like a really shitty class definition, when class definitions are the verbs one uses to interact with reality through Aspects to change the way reality unfolds, and “serving” isn’t really an action that results in change, implying a distinct deficit of agency that I wouldn’t have viewed as fair. (Especially since you originally think “meant to serve others” and not “meant to serve the aspect”, implying even LESS agency.) Furthermore, MOST passive classes from their descriptions seem to have a propensity to act “as if by the will of the aspect”, so even with the nuance of “serving the aspect”, devoting an entire class verb to service would just step on the territory of other active/passive class pairs’ passive sides, right?

But... IF we were to take this for granted as what it SEEMS... then concentrating on that angle of “serving the aspect” implies a whole lot more agency than a service class might sound on its surface. The definition fits with the story better once you contextualize all the Maid-y references to service around Jane, for instance, with the additional idea of “serving Life” by baking prolifically and creating more of its symbols in food and--

--fuck. “Serving”, like serving to others. Serving the aspect as its attendant AND serving it out to others that need it. Maybe this still IS part of the Additive class pair! Whoa. :O

Okay okay so, what I/we thought before was:

Create/Add - Maid / Sylph

Destroy/Reduce - Prince / Bard

But “additive” really isn’t an elegant verb compared to the “Destroyer” classes, so... could it be the “Servants” and the “Destroyers”? Like Maids cleaning up and healing the broken wreckage strewn through the halls by a bratty Prince’s tantrum???

It’d certainly be weird... and it’d CERTAINLY be a wild twist where I was partially wrong in some fascinating ways but not entirely off base?

One a passive but powerful servant to time, the other wielding the aspect like a honed blade.

And yet, I can’t bet on this being the situation yet; not at all. First, it relies on the idea that alt!Callie’s explicit narrative here is slightly misleading, which would be a pretty extreme thing to commit to, even for a technical truth like “she was saying it was passive relative to other classes even though it’s technically “active””. Second... it would mean that Muses are even more wildly defined than the previous insinuation of hers, that the Sylph -- what we thought was the passive additive class -- was not enough like a Muse compared to a Witch. Muses not being that Additive? I could grudgingly understand that, but Muses not being anything like passive Servants?! That would be EXTREMELY weird!

So... there’s not a whole lot of chance that I’m not dramatically wrong somewhere about these classes! In a way that throws the entire chart into disarray!

I’m... oddly excited? Huh.

That’s a pretty nice surprise that I actually feel that way.

(Don’t hit me up all at once to discuss this Classpect development over Discord, I’ll still need a few days without talking about Homestuck to recharge as usual. Like... maybe wait and come at me as a group chat? So I’m not talking about the latest developments separately with everyone? No that wouldn’t work, how about... guh I dunno, look my outlook’s a little more positive right now but dealing with Homestuck still takes emotional energy okay?)

Okay the rest of this page...

ARADIA: ... DAVEBOT: time then make a weird face ARADIA: ........ DAVEBOT: waste time DAVEBOT: time ARADIA:............. DAVEBOT: i experience all points of time simultaneously please just say time and make a weird face

This is true.

ARADIA: .................. DAVEBOT: cmon megido youre killing me clocks ticking ARADIA: ... ARADIA: time o_o

The Maid casts a furtive glance around the empty crew quarters, as though to search for someone more sympathetic to her bit.

ARADIA: tough crowd

Dorks.

> ==>

(Lazy fruit-throwing sword-training I won’t bother to screenshot but looks fun)

(I mean, really lazy looking, these people really don’t have Andrew’s knack for action composition that would make the same amount of gif-creation effort feel like a microcosm of the event they’re depicting, unfortunately. Again, I don’t blame them; Andrew was just too good at it.)

DAVEBOT: ok heres one DAVEBOT: how old do you think you are ARADIA: emotionally? ARADIA: that is a pretty heavy topic DAVEBOT: you know damn well thats not what i meant ARADIA: you know I have been through a lot dave DAVEBOT: ok ARADIA: its just so kind of someone DAVEBOT: ok i get it ARADIA: to finally ask how i feel ARADIA: i am beside myself with emotions ARADIA: i want to open up DAVEBOT: jesus christ ARADIA: shall i open up about my past traumas to you ARADIA: would you enjoy that ARADIA: to think even a frog like me can work through their pain with a dear friend ARADIA: you have truly blessed me on this day dave strider

Is Aradia JUST trolling here or is her Ultimate Self grappling with a ton of real unresolved trauma too that she’s bullshitting around Dave-style?

DAVEBOT: times fun when youre having flies

Okay that’s a damned good frog pun.

Alright now Davebot’s rapping

DAVEBOT: lacking tact i stay stacked while i breach contract DAVEBOT: sacred vows disavowed got divorce fever DAVEBOT: i leave her DAVEBOT: dont look back dont perceive her ARADIA: do you want to talk about it :( DAVEBOT: about what ARADIA: would you say you are hung up on leaving your wife and friends behind

Goddamnit is DAVE’S ton of real unresolved trauma leaking into his raps unintentionally Dave-style?? I knew we had to address it when we cut to Davebot but how about LESS TRAGEDY IN THIS COMIC MAYBE

DAVEBOT: arent you even a little guilty about ditching your boyfriend ARADIA: what ARADIA: oh fuck

But she knew what she was doing when she did it she explicitly did it didn’t she? Epilogues quote:

DAVEBOT: what about your boy DAVEBOT: eyepatches ARADIA: oh sollux is in one of his moods ARADIA: this was all getting to be a bit much for him ARADIA: if i go ill probably just cut him loose DAVEBOT: good move

And then they stepped through the sky hole more or less. Did like, distracted Ultimate Aradia not realize exactly how long she was leaving Sollux for, ie forever? Or did she “ascend” to Ultimate status later and hadn’t thought back to the full consequences of her actions within this timeline? Or both? From the looks of the link we’ll probably find out on the next pa--

--Wait. Something else I just thought of, unrelated.

If Aradia is an Ultimate Self, that’s another coincidentally Ultimate version of someone hanging around that happens to be on the prospective list of Soul-Powered Jujus that might have their creation loops closed in the coming story. Could those two things play into each other somehow? Like instead of their souls getting stuffed into the items, their “Ultimateness” is? Or as if that’s a necessary component, or... no, I’m probably overthinking things.

> (Months in the past, but not many...)

Uh huh. Is that flashing because he’s “watching” Aradia leave? But I thought Aradia SAID she was leaving--

> (==>)

--and that black hole portal doesn’t look as cool as it sounded in the Epilogues. But why was Aradia acting surprised, she said “I’ll probably just cut him loose” mere MOMENTS before entering the portal, did she mean “cut him loose” as in “I’m going to talk to him before leaving” and then just IMMEDIATELY forget that she didn’t say anything to him because she cared so little???

Wait. Waaaait wait wait. I think. I think maybe I missed some subtext. Lemme do some fuller quotes here:

ARADIA: oh sollux is in one of his moods ARADIA: this was all getting to be a bit much for him ARADIA: if i go ill probably just cut him loose DAVEBOT: good move

His gaze remains fixed on her. She blinks and looks away, unsure what to say next. He’s standing perfectly still, presumably waiting for her to say something. She met him... what was it? Once, twice before? She can’t remember. But she knows this is a very different Dave. Aside from the metal skin, he seems implacably confident. But then, people go through changes. She’s been through more than her share. She cocks an eyebrow, recalling her own stint with a metal body.

DAVEBOT: hey earth to whats your face ARADIA: oh ARADIA: its aradia

[...]

DAVEBOT: youre coming DAVEBOT: better decide quick i doubt that dank fuckin hell funnel is staying open for much longer ARADIA: yes i suppose so ARADIA: thats where all the action is right? DAVEBOT: all the action that matters yeah ARADIA: off we go then :) DAVEBOT: word

He holds out his hand. She looks around, and assumes he means for her to take it, so she does. She didn’t know someone could fly this fast. He nearly yanks her arm out of its socket. She considers reminding him that maybe this isn’t necessary, since she can fly too. But she doesn’t want to risk saying more embarrassing stuff around this outrageously cool dude. Besides, they’re through the wormhole before she can even finish the thought. It vanishes the moment they’ve crossed.

...this was a SHIPPING thing wasn’t it. She’s impressed as hell with Striderbot, she SAID she’d cut things off with Sollux, and then she was so busy being swooped off her feet and into the portal that she forgot to actually say anything to him. Is that what happened????

Ultimate Self Davebot x Ultimate Self Aradia. Huh. Didn’t see that coming. (Though, again... they could make it SLIGHTLY clearer that this wasn’t just a blatant continuity error.)

Anyway, a rare-don’t-get-used-to-it [S] page...

> [S] (Gaze.)

...Okay that was kinda funny.

> (==>)

SOLLUX: h0w the fuck am i g0ing t0 get d0wn fr0m here.

HAH! Okay, he’s taking it pretty well. :) --and THAT’s what she realized she forgot, giving him a flight down from the tower before leaving.

GOOD. KEEP THINGS HUMOROUS EVEN WHEN LITERAL ABANDONMENT IS HAPPENING. THAT’S the Homestuck I was missing. :) :) :)

> Back to reality.

(Since the black hole is outside “canon” reality.)

Those are some cool poses-AHAH JESUS CHRIST ALT!JADE YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING XD

COULD YOU MAYBE HAVE CLEANED UP THE DRIED BLOOD AT SOME POINT OR IS SOME OF THAT FRESH FROM EATING MORE RAW MEAT

(Lord English’s blood leaving permanent timeless bloodstains would be a cool new thing to squeeze into canon i admit, i wouldn’t blame them for taking the excuse even if you could find small canon counterexamples I’m not sure of but dimly think might exist)

((ALSO SHE’S GONNA BE TINY NEXT TO THEM I DUNNO IF THAT MAKES IT MORE TERRIFYING OR LESS, PROBABLY MORE))

DAVEBOT: so youre telling me you dont even feel a little bad that you ditched him to be a weird death acolyte ARADIA: no i think he found my wiles both charming and irresistible DAVEBOT: not even an ounce of guilt or self doubt huh DAVEBOT: just like that DAVEBOT: no conversations about the greater good DAVEBOT: no revelations about your feelings

Is Aradia a jerk or weird? Can’t decide.

ARADIA: do you often find your faith in yourself shaken like this or is it a new experience now that your mortal coil has been left behind DAVEBOT: what ARADIA: do you think now that all that is left of you is a literal ghost inside of a machine you are more or less likely to embrace finality DAVEBOT: oh dope more cult of one shit DAVEBOT: immortality changed you ARADIA: could it be that you are projecting your feelings onto my situation DAVEBOT: does not compute rose jr ARADIA: ... ARADIA: we dont have to talk about it DAVEBOT: thanks

Wow, I actually can’t follow this conversation at all. Let me stare at it for a sec...

...okay, the first part she’s talking about DAVE’s faith in HIMself being shaken, not her own. She’s not asking if he relates to HER experience, she’s contrasting it.

Then, asking if he’d be more likely to embrace death, or... Time? Death. Whether his self-worth has changed because he might view himself as “less real”, something Aradia doubtless struggled with when she was a robot who already had so many excuses to devalue herself at the time? And then Dave talks about “cult of one” shit what does that even mean-...

OH. Like she’s a death cult. Gooot it. Because Aradia’s of the position that death and ending should be celebrated, and Davebot understandably isn’t entirely bought in. This is as hard to parse down as one would EXPECT conversations between two Ultimate Selves to be hard to parse down, unlike Rose and Dirk where their insane missions and glaring flaws shine bright enough through it all that you can follow their conversation flow easily.

JADE: They sit in each other's presence, the silence between them as meaningful as any words they could exchange. DAVEBOT: its always really cool to hear how meaningful my silences are DAVEBOT: especially while DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: especially while i am attempting to experience them

Alt!Callie pulling a narrative-text AFTER a talk-identifier like “JADE:” is really hilarious in my opinion.

JADE: i do not need your approval. the story will continue how it must. DAVEBOT: beep boop hater detected ARADIA: wow is that true JADE: i am not a hater. DAVEBOT: classic hater line DAVEBOT: i know this because i am pouring through genuine actual quadrabytes of information on historys most notorious haters JADE: no, you aren’t.

Pffffff. This is pretty fun.

DAVEBOT: you are the exact opposite of a hater ARADIA: a liker DAVEBOT: ok DAVEBOT: perfect example your tolerance for whatever is going on with DAVEBOT: all this ARADIA: i think she looks quite lovely covered in the viscera of the all-powerful enemy she consumed ARADIA: floating lifelessly in our periphery ARADIA: observing our every action and noting its relevance :) DAVEBOT: uh huh thats what i mean

I was gonna note “liker” as additive for pointless classpect purposes, but really more quoting it just because I really enjoy this conversation. I’m starting to get sold on the chemistry of these two a lot faster than I expected.

JADE: even though I understand that it must happen, i am growing frustrated with the direction of this conversation. DAVEBOT: do you want to talk about something else stinky JADE: what would you suggest?

How long has that dried fucking blood been on her

DAVEBOT: ok hear me out DAVEBOT: kanaya DAVEBOT: but like DAVEBOT: wearing huge jorts

That explains Homestuck’s twitter earlier

> Weeks in the future, relative to the original point of interest...

Wait wait which point of interest? This time we were just viewing? *click*

I love what must be this shitty imagination-ship they’re using to cross the substrate of reality

> ==>

Whoaaaa. So they DIDN’T stay in those outfits for long? It showed them in a bunk bed earlier, it showed CallieJade still going around blood-covered afterward-- dammit, I’m having a hard time gauging exactly how much time is supposed to have passed between their entry into the black portal, their earlier conversation, and this moment. And as likely as some are to call this poor scene composition, I can’t think it’s anything but intentional, given we’re dealing with a couple of Ultimate Time players bullshitting with each other.

Moments like these are not rare, and serve a valuable function to the story. They are able to show a passage of time with the bulk of the emotional labor of a lengthy bonding process happening off screen. How did we get here? What have they been through? These questions are often better left open to individual interpretation and can give the one interpreting a sense of ownership of the story.

See? We’re being trolled is why. (Even if the authors are pulling the trick Alt!Callie describes maybe a little too damn often, because a cut like this where we’re supposed to fill in the emotional gaps and intervening events ourselves as readers depends on readers’ faith that sensible events and decisions for these characters would OCCUPY the gaps, as if readers don’t have faith that what intervenes WOULD make sense to their understanding of the characters the way the authors are writing them... it just seems like an excuse to do whatever you want without adequately explaining yourself, when in reality if you’d spelled out the events that led to it we’d all cry foul at the mischaracterization.)

...okay, maybe I’m a BIT bitter. Sorry. Where were we?

JADE: As a point of curiosity- ARADIA: oh shit!!!!

The dead Cherub possessing the body of an equally deceased Goddess of Space pauses at the interruption.

She doesn’t talk much, then? Too busy doing whatever talking you’d do as your other possessed Jade body? Just how temporally related is you controlling THIS Jade compared to when you were controlling the other? When that Jade pegged you as enjoying contact with friends, are these two just not enough for you, or did you “experience” the trips entirely separately? I don’t THINK the alt!Callie possessing either Jade is a separate entity from the other, but...

Were she to voice her opinion, it would be that --actually-- it is not unusual for those whose primary concern is The Grander Scheme to have a passing curiosity about the insignificant. So when one really thinks about it, any annoyance with the attendant’s small mindedness is both understandable and warranted.

She pissed

...also, “the attendant”. Even if “serve” is really the verb here, that phrasing really irks me as if she’s talking down to her. Which, I mean, makes sense for alt!Callie’s character, but doesn’t make me feel better about this new definition being foisted on us.

ARADIA: :( JADE: as a point of order, you never answered dave’s question. ARADIA: which one he is very chatty JADE: you experience time in a way that is woefully unfamiliar to me and it has... piqued my curiosity enough to learn more. ARADIA: ?_? DAVEBOT: shes asking how old you are

Wait a minute, is Alt!Callie asking a question about a dropped topic from WEEKS ago?! And is Davebot so in touch with Time and the meta ordering of topics that he actually CAUGHT ON that fast to what she was actually wondering about?????

This is getting more disorienting by the minute.

ARADIA: in this form our bodies stop aging once we reach maturity i think ARADIA: the god tier keeps our physical form locked in a state of undying ARADIA: even in death the bodies do not decay ARADIA: only lay dormant

THAT LAST PART IS FUCKING IMPORTANT. It’s being brought up intentionally to tell us that JOHN’S DEAD BODY can still be in the wallet Terezi’s carrying around RIGHT NOW without having decayed over the past years. I remember remarking in SOME previous HS^2 liveblog post of mine that I was alarmed by the decay that would have happened there (can’t find my remark on short notice and don’t really care to), so this explicitly dismisses it so we won’t be surprised by the fact that she could keep it in just-dead condition.

DAVEBOT: like how long have you been alive JADE: yes, that one.

[...]

ARADIA: oh maybe a few hundred years or so DAVEBOT: what JADE: what? ARADIA: well if i had known you were going to be so judgy about it DAVEBOT: when did this happen ARADIA: oh i spent some time in other doomed realities and timelines and came back before anybody could tell i was gone

Hm!

We knew she spent a LONG time in the dream bubbles, enough to talk to “pretty much all of the Nepetas”, but she was actually able to access a universe or universes and hop between them? That’s not something any time traveller we’ve seen has been explicitly able to do intentionally before, quite like she’s describing.

DAVEBOT: oh just out for a bit of fun then DAVEBOT: just hopped on over to a different reality DAVEBOT: real casual like DAVEBOT: oh hello dont mind me just popping in to see if it really is as doomed as they say it is DAVEBOT: did not disappoint ARADIA: yes almost exactly like that :) DAVEBOT: who did you hang out with are they cooler than me ARADIA: it is complicated to explain DAVEBOT: oh ok nevermind then DAVEBOT: all clear

Yep, he’s kinda bewildered. Is this Pesterquest stuff she’s referring to? Did she stop by Pesterquest?

DAVEBOT: a whole alternate universe ripe with the coolest motherfuckers imaginable ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all JADE: these events are not-canonical. ARADIA: rude

Ah! Yeah, almost certainly Pesterquest. (Still haven’t played that and have little inclination to now that I’m more sure we aren’t being gaslit with intentional continuity errors, just disappointed by actual continuity errors.) Oh! And that makes a bit more sense because I imagine that’s Black Hole territory, and that territory outside of Canon seems pretty rich and easy for time-travellers to hop between stories and timelines willy-nilly. As they’re apt to in fanfics, which is the most appropriate way for things to be in that realm!

DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write ARADIA: :( JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all. DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen DAVEBOT: but im an altruist first and fucking foremost ARADIA: so selfless JADE: yes, the greater narrative is truly blessed by your beneficent presence. DAVEBOT: oh so you got jokes now huh JADE: i have always had the ‘jokes’ of which you speak, but i have heretofore exercised restraint in laying you low. JADE: i possess knowledge of many of your iterations, as the scope of my powers allows me to exist in several narrative structures at once. DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means. ARADIA: neither do i :)

I’m actually really enjoying this conversation

JADE: its cultural significance to you as an earthling is wasted on the two of us entirely, as we have not conflated the misguided notion of clinging to nostalgic cereal advertisement trivia with socially relevant conversation.

Pff she literally checked her meta notes just now to learn what the cereal ads were after admitting she didn’t know what it meant and pretending not to care

> ==>

Oh, closer look at Davebot. Are those actual SHAPED shades over his robotic eye bulges? Weird, I thought it was just a lazy line drawn between them with red sharpie at first, Sans style. That would’ve been funny.

> ==>

Ohh, I get it. I was gonna say that was an unwarranted reaction... but he just realized that the Time-wait puns will be coming from BOTH his shipmates from now on. That’s gotta be a downer. :)

> ==>

HOLY

FUCKING

SHIT

IS ALT-CALLIE LAUGHING!??!?!?!??

That’s REALLY, REALLY GOOD!!! SHE’S ALREADY LAUGHING OCCASIONALLY THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

“BEST NARRATOR” COFFEE CUP

SHE’S ADORABLE

> ==>

Ah, was that Jade kicking you out? Or just the multiverse punishing you for being briefly happy :(

--oh, end of the update. Guess that’s it for now!

...

Alright I know I’m A BIT BEHIND on covering the HS2 commentary,

But

I really would rather wait on that a bit longer if that’s alright. Real busy and stressful week or two. (Found out my hair is starting to thin noticeably at age 31! Quite suddenly, too. Blood test looks fine so it’s nothing serious... gonna see a doctor to check if anything can be safely done about that, it’s really hurting my self-esteem more than I thought it would. Didn’t think it would hit my emotions that hard when it eventually happened, knew it was likely but not so SOON... really messing with my anxiety every time I accidentally touch my hair, now. I’ll deal with it.)

If I sound really aimless in this post, I think it’s cause I am? My mental and emotional energy’s REALLY drained. I’m glad that June/July break in HS^2 happened when it did, and I’m definitely glad there’s apparently plenty in HS^2 I can really enjoy, if this update is anything to go by. Maybe this comic can help lift me up instead of knocking me down. :)

See y’all later! More Patreon commentary blogging catchup after some other upd8.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #Homestuck Theories #Homestuck Theory #spoiler #spoilers #Classes and Aspects #Space and Time #Aradia

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