#its weird cause i like fashion but not in a shoe sense

[parentsbesluts]

after a full month theyre finally done . these designs took a lot out of me to make but i really like how they all turned out. more design info for each under the cut

patton: black cis man, he/him, 6'0 (the tallest except for remus*). 4b hair. he has patches of skin that developed into frog skin following the events of svsr. its functionally similar to vitiligo, as it was caused by the high amounts of stress patton went through, but not the same. his shirt was a gift from janus that was suggested by remus. he has chronic back pain (not a part of the design but this is important to know). he wears the bff bracelet that roman made for him when they were young. he has stretch marks around his shoulders and chest.

roman: italian + latina bigender woman, she/he/star, 5'10. he dyes her own hair often but favors stars natural color with streaks of blond. her sword is longer than that when star actually uses it. i fucked up the proportions when drawing it and didn't have the strength to fix it. she had an entire royal cape but he opts not to wear it in most situations. similarly he owns a lot more jewelry than just the stuff stars wearing in the picture but its often not practical. her bff bracelet is in a drawer in his room right now.

logan: indigenous (specifically mayan) agender person, they/xe, 5'6 (the shortest except for remus*). xyr hair has gone gray from stress despite attempts to fix it, so they have accepted their fate and moved on. xe has a nose ring because virgil is a terrible influence on them. the heart on their cheek marks the first spot that virgil ever kissed xem. xe's been carrying around that orange book a lot recently for some reason. xe has stretch marks around their chest, shoulders, armpit, and hips.

virgil: irish (she makes their skin gray just because) genderfluid person, she/he/they, 5'8 ½. he took up smoking (though they prefer weed over cigs) to try and reduce her and thomas's anxiety. it's seemingly working but now their room smells like weed. her rat tails are 100% real. after accepting anxiety she cut off their jacket sleeves and jean shins to show off more of his body. we love body positivity. the scar on his face is remus's fault. they have many anxiety reducing habits such as can tab collecting and biting her nails. enrichment. the heart on his neck marks the first spot that logan ever kissed her. he changes hair color in accordance with shirt. she has stretch marks around their hip and armpits.

janus: french + spanish trans male, he/hiss/venom, 5'8. the cane is not optional. despite having the fashion sense of an upper class victorian man hi is actively socialist. ve claims he's "reclaiming the style". the tree patterns on hisses overcoat and gloves have absolutely no symbolism related to them whatsoever. the eye he wears around venoms neck is made from serpentine. the ring pattern on hisses gloves is solely because its hard to put rings on over gloves, even though it doesnt matter at all and ve could simply summon rings on hisses fingers if he wanted to. the snake pattern around venoms coat is not sentient.

remus: italian + latino unlabled person, he/it/that thing, height is incredibly unstable but averages to around 5'10 most days. it can see out of the eyes on his earrings and right sleeve. the spikes on that things clothing are indeed real teeth. it misses his friends. it wears some sort of weird lingerie under his uniform. that thing ended up getting the uncontrollable hair genes and it dyes its hair in shrimp colors. he wants to dye its hair with virgil again. the chain can be stored inside of the mace handle, allowing the mace to be used as a morningstar. the preportions on it are also bad sorry. that things shoes are sentient and want to kill you. it wishes janus wasn't so busy. he doesn't want to be alone.

[yakool-foolio]

see maybe this is just me, but As A Character Designer Myself i think the rain code designs are some of komatzuzaki's best work yet. they're weird and campy and yet they work so well. i do think the characters' personalities shine through on first and second glances. I don't even usually like neon colors but I think the combo of bright neons with understated neutrals is so fascinating and memorable. no one else does it like this. a lot of the small details on the designs are actually packed with symbolic meaning (esp. yakou's - I'd love to see you unpack all that) and the overabundance of logos is evocative of the corpo-cyber-future setting. the rain code designs feel much more cohesive in terms of that setting than the DR designs do - which makes sense bc DR is more about disparate people being united by their circumstances - dialed to 11 in v3 where the designs are at their wackiest. but this ain't about her this is about rain code.

I love that characters you wouldn't expect (zange, fubuki, priest...) have weird facial piercings and tattoos. I love that the animal ears are never explained. I love desuhiko's tboy swag and yeah, the golden yellow and the dirty blonde and the neon yellow accents don't look great together - and I think the clashing colors work wonders to establish his personality. this kid dressed himself and thought it would make him look cool. you idiot. aphex's hat is stupid. zilch's ears are stupid. vivia's bandages-instead-of-clothes are stupid - and yet reading into that choice is very insightful. (he puts on a lazy air but if he was really lazy he'd just put on an oversized emo band tee instead of wrapping himself up like a mummy every day. he actually does care about how he comes across to people.)

there's a few videos about fashion YouTubers judging the DR fits, and at one point they brought in Yuma and shinigami and they hated yuma's outfit so much because it's dorky and they wouldn't wear it. but like!!! that's the whole point is that it's dorky!!!! his little trainee shorts. his stupid fkin bowl cut making him look like a little boy whose mom still cuts his hair. (which of course turns out to be a meaningful deception. his haircut influences how the audience and other characters see him to great effect.) and yet he has the coolest fkin shoes ever and when he puts his hat and cape on he's got such an iconic silhouette. teru teru bozu lookin ass /pos.

anyway yeah. i wasnt a fan of komatzuzaki's designs in the beginning but over the years ive come around. I'm a firm designer that a character design doesn't necessarily have to look good to be a good character design. I like it when they aren't afraid to make the characters look cringe - I love cringe. I eat it up. thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Even more perspectives! I think your take of 'bad-looking designs can be good actually' is a great way to look at Rain Code's characters. To put it simply, it's unique! 'Nobody does it like Komatsuzaki'-kind of campiness. Honestly, Rain Code's designs remind me a lot of Danganronpa 2's designs in terms of color. That cast is full of much brighter colors compared to the lesser saturation of DR1 n V3's cast colors. And it makes sense cause it's a brighter game overall in terms of setting and upping the ridiculousness of the killing game in every way! Rain Code sorta follows that with its own designs by crankin' up the neons to really ride the idea home that this game is wacky right from the get-go and it's a Resident Evil game in disguise! And y'know what Resident Evil loves to indulge in? Campiness! Rain Code wears its inspirations on its sleeve, and that's totally chill.

As a sidenote to your sidenote regarding Yakou's clothing details, I have actually written a bit about how he might perceive them, but I haven't yet written about what they could truly mean in terms of how they relate to him narratively. The meaning of the phoenix patterns are painfully obvious though heh. And I also greatly appreciate the recognition that Vivia really does care about his appearance despite his 'laziness'. His hedonistic lifestyle includes his own attire, wearing whatever he pleases no matter the effort! Like I've preached before, Vivia has the energy, he just prefers to use it only when necessary.

Thank you for the TED talk *golf claps*

[oddballwriter]

MH and EMH with reader who wears mixed matches clothes, like bright colors with dark colors, crazy hair dye colors, different colored shoes, socks, yk? ✨a colorful and dark mess✨

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Warnings: HABIT is here 

Author’s Snip: I too, like to mismatch some of my clothes so this was nice to think about 

Notes: I felt like I kept saying the same thing. So if this is boring, my bad.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Marble Hornets

Tim

I think he'd like it actually

Just a little

It's something different and kinda weird, but in a nice way

He wears and likes bright and funky colors

I don't know when the color palette changed for our man but I know we all saw him in Alex's film footage wearing that yellow tied-eye shirt

You guys can wear funky colored clothes ✨together✨

Brian

Brian would like your unique fashion too

He just thinks its fun

He honestly thinks you're really cool

Brian will tell someone off it they make fun of your clothes

I don't know why but I feel like he will just love being out in public, like on a date, with you

Jay

Jay tends to where more neutral clothes. Not too bright of colors or too dark. Nothing fully mismatched

So standing next to you is something for sure

I think he won't really comment too much on it

He does find it interesting but that's kind of just it

Alex

I feel like he would also enjoy this but it depends what Alex we're talking about

I'm gonna go with pre-mh events Alex cause that gives me a bit more to work with

So in the sense. He likes it a lot

I feel like Alex in general likes people who are "out there"

So you're choice in clothings is something that he likes about you

Might just ask and want to know why you dress the way that you do

Simply out of curiosity

EveryManHYBRID

Evan

Man he's so fucking into this

Evan's a neat and funky guy and I think he'd enjoy your weird taste in clothing and mismatching pretty neat

Similar to Brian, he'll tell someone to leave you tf alone if they try to make fun of your clothes

He likes seeing what outfits you come up with each day

He likes seeing what you can do

Vinny

Doesn't really comment on it

But he does like the way that it makes you stand out

I'm gonna be honest he doesn't know how to handle someone as brightly colored as you he feels like Scot with Ramona

He doesn't know how to feel

I mean this in the least rude way possible but Vinny is the graham cracker of men

Jeff

Since you wear dark clothes with bright clothes, and he wears some pretty dark/grey clothes sometimes

He will gladly let you have some of his clothes to use as part of your outfits

He likes your sense of clothing

It just looks so weird and different /pos

Compliments you all the time

HABIT

This bitch wears weird combos of clothes too tf?

Join the club bb

Honestly likes it a lot too

You guys can wear weird clothing combos together and he loves that

Love it when you come up with something new as well

[all-the-heart-you-cannot-see]

WandaVision theory time!!!

So, when you zoom in the townspeople that they have identified as part of thr cast it shows apparently thry already know who Agnes is, however i find it very interesting how we got the nanes for Norm and Beverly who have like 3 speaking lines and not of Agnes who has been showing up multiple times and is by far the most influential character besides Wanda.

Then we get Darcy realizing someone is messing with the broadcast, it seems they cant see the creepy choking scene with Vision's boss, or the blood on Dottie's hand or Vision's talk with Agnes, which could be Wanda herself but u dont thunk there is a reason for her to do that, specially since she didn't know she was being watched when the first 2 happened.

I also find it weird that Agnes and Herb know something is up, but the police officers, in contact with the outsude world standing right next to a sign thag says Westview, are completely clueless.

Agnes is Agatha, i think she somehow drove Wanda to do this but Wanda is too powerful and now she cant get out, i think she is the one censoring the broadcast (maybe because SWORD finding out whats going on with Wanda goes against her own interest) and that would also explain why she seems aware.

As for Vision, i dont think Wanda is animating his literal corpse, in universe years have passed since he was killed, wouldn't the use of his corpse involve Wanda quite literally digging him out of his grave? So it hink that was just a hallucination, Wanda is powerfull enough to create a mock up of Vision because my alternative theory is that Jimmy's missing wittness was turned into vision but that would get us into Wonder Woman 84 levels of non consent and i am not comfortable with that.

[audreydoeskaren]

Abridged history of early 20th century Chinese womenswear (part 1: 1890s & 1900s) *improved version

Source here

*I’m fixing and reposting the first two posts of this series because back then I had no idea how Tumblr formatting functioned and they deserve better. I’m keeping the shoddy original versions for archival purposes.

*After some thought I think it makes more sense to group the 1890s and 1900s together.

Other posts in the series:

Part 1: 1890s (original)

Part 2: 1900s & 1910s (original)

Part 3.1: 1920s-silhouette

Part 3.2: 1920s-design details

Part 3.3: 1920s-accessories, hair & makeup

Part 4.1: 1930s-silhouette & design

Part 4.2: 1930s-hair, makeup & accessories

Part 5: 1940s

Part 6.1: 1950s-Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan & friends

Part 6.2: 1950s-mainland China

Intro & context

In order to understand early 20th century Chinese fashion we have to go back a bit into the past to have some clue about the context. When the Manchus conquered China and established the Qing Dynasty in the mid 17th century, Han Chinese men adopted Manchu style clothing but Han Chinese womenswear remained independent and separate from Manchu womenswear. Han Chinese women retained the habit of wearing a two piece ensemble as the outermost layer, unlike Manchu women, who wore a single floor length robe. I will be only discussing Han Chinese women’s fashion in this series.

In the 19th century, Han Chinese women wore 袄裙 aoqun, a two piece ensemble consisting of a robe and a skirt. The robe had a very low 立领, standing collar. In the second half of the 19th century, the robe in aoqun had a very generous and roomy cut and huge sleeves, a look which reached its peak in the 1860s and 70s. The hem of the robe hit the knees, the length in vogue since the 1870s. The collar of the robe is very low, only providing enough space for one button, likewise in fashion since the 1870s. The robe is closed with 盘扣 pankou, which in this era were always plain with either a bead or fabric knot tip. The robe closes at the side, usually at the right side at the 大襟 dajin, the side closure, however examples of robes with closures on the left also existed. Robes with closures on both the right and left were also a thing, a style called 双襟 shuangjin, double closure. Shuangjin robes were derived from a men’s riding vest, the 巴图鲁坎肩 batulu vest (batulu is Manchu for “warrior”), that could be opened from both sides, and would experience a revival in the 1920s. 

Source here

1870s/80s photograph of a group of women in aoqun, the two skirts on the left are the elaborate mamian style, the one on the right is plain.

In aoqun, the skirt was usually of a style called 马面 mamian, made of two long horizontal pieces of pleated fabric with two flat sections each sewn to a waistband with one flat section overlapping, creating a wrap skirt that once worn around the wearer’s waist, appears to have two unpleated sections, one at the front and one at the back. This skirt was very decorative in the 19th century, full of embroidery, tassels and elaborate trim, sometimes giving the illusion of a separate apron being attached (I’ve seen this weird stereotype that traditional Chinese womenswear has a separate apron at the front this is complete bogus). The robes were likewise heavily decorated around the seams, ceremonial outfits like wedding gowns could be so full of embroidery that the original fabric is hardly to be seen.

The combination of robe and pants, 袄裤 aoku, was also a common way of dressing since approximately the 1800s or 1810s. This combination would become the norm in the 1890s.

Source here

1870s/80s photograph of a woman in a ginormous ao, roomy pants and with bound feet.

Another noteworthy fad was bound feet. The middle of the 19th century was the pinnacle of foot binding and fashionable women had incredibly small feet, dubbed “lotus feet”. This was achieved by wrapping tight foot binding cloth around the feet since childhood and restricting the growth of the feet, I think also breaking a couple bones in the process. Women wore foot binding cloth and baggy stockings underneath their shoes, tied up with garters below the knees. Foot binding is said to severely restrict mobility and cause intense pain; I don’t doubt the pain part but I’m not sure about mobility since I’ve seen plenty of photographs of women with bound feet roaming about the streets.

Not every woman did foot binding though, it depended heavily on region, class and the individual family. For one, Manchu women all had natural feet. For Han women, an account from the 1850s said that in Beijing, every five or six out of ten women did not have bound feet, and that probability is three or four out of ten in the countryside. In the provinces along the southern coast, most women did not bind their feet (this probably has to do with the influence of indigenous cultures in the south, since foot binding was primarily a Han fashion), whereas in the northwest almost every woman had bound feet. By the way, I really don’t like how articles on foot binding describe it in the most sensational way possible, why is it so hard to approach history with peace of mind? And it pisses me off that all the articles containing 1890s photographs only talk about the foot binding as if there is nothing more of value in portraits of whole ass women.

Anyway, if you are interested in learning more about foot binding, check out  Cinderella‘s Sisters: A Revisionist History of Footbinding by Dorothy Ko, recommended by @thefeastandthefast​ . Or just anything written by Dorothy Ko tbh.

Silhouette

In the 1890s, the cut of the aoqun began to become more slender and form fitting, commonly believed to be a result of westernization. But I think it’s also because the wide sleeve look has also been in fashion for quite a while now (some 80 years or so) and people were getting tired of it. The robe inherited the knee length hem from the 1880s but was less baggy and took on a more straight cut silhouette. The collar remained quite low until the end of the decade. Pants were overwhelmingly more popular than skirts in the 1890s, I speculate this may be due to a rising interest in feminism and women wanting more mobility, but aoku was also very popular in the 1870s and 80s in general so it may have also just carried over. The pants were still ankle length and straight cut but less roomy than earlier 19th century models. Overall the 1890s just looks like a shrunken and simplified version of the 1880s.

Source here

The aoku as of the 1890s.

By the second half of the 1900s, the collar began to rise, becoming medium height. This was kind of reminiscent of late 18th century Han women’s collars I mentioned in this post on Chinese standing collars. The robe and pants shrunk further, becoming quite tight fitting. The robe was still around knee length. The pants were especially tight and could be considered skinny. Foot binding became less common and many women had natural sized feet. However, since foot binding is something that begins in the childhood, the fact that many women without bound feet appeared in the 1900s meant that many parents started to reject food binding in the 1880s and 90s. 

Source here

Ca. 1907 photograph of a group of women, possibly students, in tight fitting aoku.

Design details

The 1890s saw the mass disappearing of wide, embroidered trims around the seams, popular throughout the 19th century. The use of multiple rows of binding/trim from the 1870s and 80s was continued, albeit in a much more minimalistic and geometric way. I’ve seen a lot of plain white ao finished with multiple rows of black binding of different widths, it’s mighty avant-garde and elegant. Because clothes of the era were still constructed in the older Chinese method, they had a seam down the middle of the sleeves used to extend the length of the sleeves; this seam could be bound and decorated but it was not compulsory. Actual embroidery on the robe and skirt/pants was rare, if not non-existent; completely plain fabric was the norm. The ao of this era commonly had a 厂字襟 (厂 shaped closure), where the front placket is held up by one or two buttons and then closed by more buttons down the side seam. This style of closure was first popularized for Han women’s clothing in the 1800s and 1810s, before that Han women’s clothing closures were a straight line from the collar to the armpit. The pankou used to close the ao of this period became a lot more elaborate and the main source of decoration; I have a whole ass post on them here. A general air of simplicity, comfort and proportionality dominated the fashion of this era. In the mid 18th century, Han women’s robes started having folded cuffs (possibly borrowed from Manchu court dress), called 挽袖 wanxiu, and these became fake and represented by a piece of trimming in the 1850s. By the 1890s this design feature largely disappeared, leaving the sleeve edges either plain or simply bound.

Source here

Three women in aoku, late 1890s. I looooove the look on the far left, I will probably make it some day.

Going into the 1900s, the geometric trims became more simplified and austere, while the pankou became increasingly ornamental.

Source here

Late 1900s photograph. The robe is trimmed with fur and thin, geometric binding, and closed by very ornamental pankou.

Hair & Makeup

There were no significant changes in hairstyling in the 1890s, fashionable women would wear existing 1880s hairstyles but style them with bangs. A common style I’ve seen in photographs was long hair pulled back into either one big bun at the back or two smaller ones at the sides. The short bangs were usually very neat, precisely cut and sat closely to the forehead. Elastics did not exist, so Chinese women used strings and hairpins to tie their hair together. Hairpins of this era were usually very thick and sturdy, a single one was enough to hold all your hair into a bun. It was popular to use flowers and/or pearls to form a ring of decorations around a bun. 

Source here

Common 1890s hairstyle, for most people the decorations weren’t so elaborate.

A popular headpiece was this thin headband adorned with pearls worn at the place where bangs should be, although that has been around since the 1870s as well.

Source here

Ca. late 1890s. Some women wearing the pearl headband. 

Around 1905 the bangs began to grow in length but still weren’t long enough to cover the eyebrows. They were longer at the sides and shorter in the middle, creating this volume and curve at the forehead.

Source here

Photograph ca. 1905. Long bangs.

By the end of the decade these evolved into a being with a will of its own. Long hair tied into braids or low buns became fashionable instead of tight, high buns.

Source here

Calendar painting from 1911.

Fashionable women in the 1890s wore little to no makeup, because of the influence of female university students who were usually without makeup. In the 1870s and 80s, thick makeup was more common and was a trend popularized by sex workers in Shanghai, thus becoming increasingly considered indecent in the 1890s. I find this quite problematic cause respectability politics suck and there’s nothing wrong with wearing fashion trends invented by sex workers. All the straight male writers of the 1890s and 1900s praising female students for being “pure” and ”hygienic” in contrast to the supposedly nasty sex workers make me cringe to my core, it’s just pitting women against each other and setting us up for “I’m not like other girls” in my opinion.

The common makeup look includes white power, lipstick and blush. The lipstick shape was usually a tad smaller to the actual lips and blush was applied in large areas toward the outside of the face.

Source here

Standard 1890s and 1900s hair and makeup look. This drawing is probably from around 1902, it’s a bit more festive folk art than fashion plate so take the patterns with a dash of salt.

Undergarments

Unfortunately I don’t have many pictures for undergarments of the era but I can describe them to you. Since women commonly wore pants, they would usually wear another layer of pants (could be considered drawers) underneath that was of a similar construction but plain and easy to launder. Panties and such didn’t exist so drawers were the innermost layer, enough to protect women’s private parts. Likewise for the robe, another plainer, sturdier version would be worn underneath. In the mid 1900s, as the sleeves of the outer robe began to shorten, the undershirt became more form fitting at the wrists and could serve a decorative function. 

Chinese women in the 19th century bound their breasts with long strips of fabric to achieve the flat look. I’m not exactly sure how this is done but basically you wrap fabric tightly around your chest until the boobies are concealed. A famous undergarment of the Qing Dynasty was the 肚兜 dudou, which was actually unisex. The female only version was called 抹胸 moxiong, 袜肚 wadu or 袜腹 wafu, the latter two are etymologically similar to earlier words for “corset” or “a pair of bodies”. However, unlike what many later 20th century artists would like you to believe, wearing only dudou on the upper body was not legit underwear for grown up women, as it was usually worn in conjunction with breast binders as an extra layer of warmth. It was also worn very tightly around the breasts and waist, not tied loosely like in paintings or period dramas nowadays.

Source here

Dudou diagram.

Shoes

Women began campaigning against bound feet in this period and many drawings depicted women with natural feet. However, if a woman had her feet bound since childhood it’s difficult for them to return to their natural size, so some women who were born in previous decades would still have very small feet, even if they began to reject it at this time. Women’s shoes of Western construction weren’t yet so common so most women wore Chinese style shoes, which were commonly made of fabric and had a slightly upward pointing toe. Women with bound feet would use a long piece of ribbon/cloth to wrap their feet (to maintain the shape) and wear small fabric pumps with a white sole. These could be flat or have a teeny tiny bit of wedge heel, called 弓鞋 gong xie, bow shoes. Women without bound feet would wear normal sized pumps, likewise of fabric, with slightly upward pointing toes and a thick white sole. Embroidery on shoes was a huge thing in the 19th century and before but by the 1890s it started to disappear as well, and shoes in the 1890s were commonly plain. In the 1900s, Western leather shoes were increasingly popularized, but it wasn’t until the early 1910s that this popularity reached its height.

Source here

Foot binding cloth.

Source here

Shoes for bound feet.

Source here

Woman with natural feet wearing Chinese style pumps. Western style knit stockings were becoming popularized in the 1880s for women with natural feet as well.

Some editing afterthoughts

I’ve been looking more into 18th and 19th century Chinese fashion lately and I realized I held some deep rooted misconceptions about the Qing Dynasty. For some reason I always considered the 1870s and 80s look with the elaborate, big robes conservative or backwards, which is really not fair. Chinese women’s fashion was revolutionized in the beginning of the 19th century, going from the flowy, slender robes of the 18th century to stiffer, more structured robes with flared sleeves. Styles also differed dramatically from decade to decade, it’s just not very well studied and there’s a stigma around Qing Dynasty fashion so people don’t get into it as much. Because Han women were allowed to continue wearing Han style clothing into the Qing Dynasty, a lot of 18th century reproduction ensembles nowadays get mistakenly labelled as Ming style hanfu, which really isn’t helping... I was definitely not alone in this though, the perception of Qing Dynasty Han women’s fashion most people nowadays have is: in the first couple years Han women were allowed to wear Ming style hanfu, but then bam the late 19th century look was forced upon everyone. This view is super not nuanced and false on almost every level, but it is extremely widespread and I don’t blame you at all if you also think like this, this was me just two months ago too... A wise woman (I mean Karolina Zebrowska) once said that everything in fashion history happens gradually, which is also extremely true for Chinese fashion history. 

I’ve really started to question what modernity in fashion means because the elaborate 19th century Chinese look that white people back then considered the epitome of conservative Chinese clothing was actually new and exciting in the beginning of the 19th century. I can’t help but wonder if this view that Chinese clothing as of the 1870s and 80s was symbolic of Chinese culture’s “backwardness” and “stagnation” was a product of colonization and white imperialists’ efforts to demonize Chinese society and take things out of context. I would prefer to say that Chinese fashion westernized a lot during the 1890s and 1900s but not necessarily modernized because what is modernity. Fashions change and that is the most normal thing on the planet. 

If you read what white historians or politicians wrote in the late 19th/early 20th century about Chinese fashion or culture (which I highly recommend you don’t, that shit is detrimental to your mental health), it becomes obvious that the majority of them have no clue what Chinese fashion looked like before the 19th century and how we got to what we had in the 19th century in the first place, so they just assumed that Chinese fashion always looked like that and that we haven’t progressed as a culture in hundreds of years lmao. Bullshit pseudo-Darwinism at its finest. Oh or if you look up 18th century European Orientalist paintings depicting imaginary Chinese characters, the clothes they wore and the hairstyles they had were so far off from what actual 18th century Chinese fashion looked like to the point they felt racist and were uncomfortable to look at. I stumbled across so many of them when looking for 18th century Chinese painting and every time I see one it almost gives me a stroke. So I think it’s really important to acknowledge that Han Chinese fashion of the 18th century is a valid field of study.

In my original 1890s post I said that the elaborate embroidery and trimmings started to appear on Han women’s fashion around this time because of Manchu influence, I take that back because I’ve realized it’s a whack claim. I’ll explain it more when I make some posts on the 19th century later.

Reworked part 2 is coming soon as well :)))

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 19, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Chilling in Yiling

We start off with Wei Wuxian hanging out in a busy area of Yiling, which is a really dumb place to pick for a fugitive rendezvous.  

He's wearing a fashionably distressed brown robe, and a woven disguise hat, that makes him invisible to his enemies until the moment he takes it off, kinda like the mask he wears in his second life. Unfortunately he is a polite boi so he takes off the disguise hat when he goes indoors to get a bite to eat, and promptly gets smacked down by Wen Zhuliu. 

Xiao Zhan's stunt double is really good at this wire-pull+table-smash move; this is the second time Wei Wuxian goes crashing through a table (the first one being when Yu Ziyuan was beating him). This time he clutches his now core-less abdomen, in a move we're going to be seeing a lot of, going forward. Abdominal surgery is a bitch. OP can personally attest to this.

Wen Zhuliu provides some comic relief by looking at his hand in puzzlement; he clearly can tell Wei Wuxian has no golden core, but he isn't going to bother telling Wen Chao that.

Wen Chao gloats and steps on Wei Wuxian's hand while Wei Wuxian stares at his shoe and OP wonders, not for the first time, how they make rubberized zig-zag treads in Ancient Fantasy China.

(more after the cut)

This is all happening in the Yiling Wine house where Wei Wuxian will later share the most important meal of his life, the one in which A-Yuan lays claim to Lan Wangji, ultimately giving LWJ a reason to live long enough for Wei Wuxian to be resurrected. If that doesn’t deserve a good Yelp review, nothing does. 

Dream a Little Dream of Me

While Wei Wuxian gets ready for his big whump scene, Jiang Cheng is dreaming, and looking absolutely breathtaking in this deceptively simple robe, that's made of a really complex fabric, that catches the light all over its surface.  The lighting here is warm and romantic, giving everything a nostalgic glow.

He looks around the courtyard in his dream, and sees Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian come running in the gate carrying kites. 

A child fetching a kite was the first casualty of the Wen attack on Lotus Pier, so this image may already be a little fraught for Jiang Cheng. In this initial image of his family, Jiang Cheng isn't present as a child, but then his junior self comes running up, to be warmly greeted by his mother.

Jiang Cheng's reaction to the scene playing out in front of him is not a simple one. We've seen him externally expressing his trauma at the fate of Lotus Pier and his family - his anger and his despair - and this dream shows us his private, interior trauma. 

His body has been repaired by Wei Wuxian and the Wens, but his psyche has not.

This family interaction can't possibly be one that ever happened. It's too lively, too affectionate, too comfortable. The family he was part of as a young adult was cold, angry, cracked.  Families don't change that much in 10 years, unless there's a major trauma that alters things in a fundamental way.

Even the glimpses we got of his childhood contradict this image. This warm group is not the family of "I sent your dogs away" or "wait in the cold until Jiang Cheng lets you in" or "I won't tell Clan Leader Jiang what happened" or "I'm only 11 but I'm in charge of soup and bedtime already"

Jiang Cheng smiles at the affection he sees enacted in front of him, but quickly moves to grief. When a toxic person dies, you don't just lose the relationship you had with them; you lose the hope for a better relationship. Perhaps Jiang Cheng has always imagined this version of his family; now nothing like it can ever come to be.

The pleasant scene vanishes into nightmare, as his mother starts bleeding from her eyes, ew. This is like Nie Mingjue when he qi deviates, but dream Yu Ziyuan is perfectly chill about it. 

Jiang Cheng is not perfectly chill about it. 

He turns around to see Lotus Pier burning. When he turns back, his family has been replaced with Wen Zhuliu, who is particularly gleeful as he reaches into Jiang Cheng's chest and melts his core.

Jiang Cheng wakes up on the mountain, alone (as far as he knows), and quickly stands and boots up his new golden core.

It's purple, because of course it is. King. The nightmare is gone and he smiles, maybe for the first time since the attack on the pier.

In a moment that is probably going to feel really embarrassing in hindsight, he kneels and bows toward the mountaintops to thank Baoshan Sanren, who is totally not there. 

Wen Ning, on the other hand, is there, although we only see a little bit of his belt and robe as Jiang Cheng walks off to Yiling to meet his brother.  This entire plotline walks a very weird line in which the audience is told just enough about what’s really happening to be confused, but not surprised.

Do the Whumpty Whump

After some initial roughing up, Wen Chao has his dudes stand Wei Wuxian up so he can question him without actually getting any information out of him at all. They take turns calling each other dogs, with Wei Wuxian saying that when Wen Chao talks he just hears a dog barking. (Of course if he really heard a dog barking he'd be terrified) 

Then he says "isn't that right" to Wang Lingjiao, and Wen Chao gets super pissed; don't disrespect me to my woman. 

He has his minions do a Nancy Kerrigan to Wei Wuxian's knee and then kick him for a while.

Then they kick the shit out of the camera operator.

Wen Chao is really not about fighting his own fights.  He also keeps threatening to have Wen Zhuliu melt Wei Wuxian's core, and Wen Zhuliu keeps popping up his hand and then putting it back when Wen Chao changes his mind, which gets more hilarious every time I watch it. Feng Mingjing’s physical embodiment of Wen Zhuliu is endlessly entertaining, even in scenes where he has literally no lines. 

I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost

Wei Wuxian continues to goad Wen Chao, telling him that more torture is good because then he'll die with loads of resentment. He says that after he dies, he will come back as a ferocious ghost, which is...almost exactly what happens, except he stays alive for the ferocious part. 

They go back and forth about the feasibility of this whole haunting plan. Wang Lingjiao is the voice of reason, for once, arguing the "ghosts aren't real and anyway fuck this guy" position.

Wen Chao thinks that he can’t haunt them because of cultivator security hardening procedures soul-calming rituals, but Wei Wuxian wasn't born into a gentry family so didn't have the anti-fierce-ghost treatment that other cultivators get.

This is the only time in the whole of the show when Wei Wuxian says, himself, that he's the son of a servant. He's using his reputation as a commoner to bolster his threats. 

Wei Wuxian is working hard to put on a scary-guy persona, which works pretty well on Wang Lingjiao but not as much on the rest of the group. Three months from this time, however, he will have become the scary, vengeful creature he's currently spitballing about.  He will also become way, way better at torture than the people who are currently mistreating him. 

Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao go through a whole sequence of ideas about what to do with him. For whatever reason Wang Lingjiao doesn't insist on chopping his arm off even though she's been craving it for ages. 

She does gleefully burn his burn some more, causing it to bleed directly into the giant obvious bag he has hanging from his belt leaking resentful energy. Which the Wens do not take away or search.

Wen Chao, incidentally, starts calling him Wei Ying during this encounter, which is rude of him. Tch.  Finally Wen Chao decides on a plan, which involves sword-flying effects so terrible that no soul can survive them.

Jiang Cheng is looking for Wei Wuxian in town, wearing a woven hat like Wei Wuxian’s.  This...is not a disguise. If you want to be inconspicuous, maybe take that giant piece of silver off of your head.

He hears random people talking about the Wens being in town, and then he apparently looks up at the sky and sees the Wen dudes flying on their swords with Wei Wuxian, but it looks so ridiculous that Jiang Cheng's mind cannot process what he is seeing.

While they "fly," Wen Chao delivers a massive brick of exposition about the burial mounds, while Wei Wuxian looks genuinely frightened. The VFX of random, undifferentiated mountaintops and clouds do nothing to sell this menace, but the exposition is actually pretty good, creating a real sense of disturbance and threat.

Then they toss him in, and we go from the terrible VFX of sword flying to a visual effect that they mercifully did really well throughout the show - the black resentment smoke. This time it catches Wei Wuxian and holds him for a few moments, before dropping him the rest of the way to the ground. It also apparently pulls the turtle sword out of his belt bag, but we don't see that part.

They Say That Every Man Must Fall

Having seen Wei Wuxian at his lowest point (so far) and dream Jiang Cheng also in deep distress, we go to the Dafan Wen sibs, who have also reached a breaking point. Because they helped Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, they are traitors to their clan - unquestionably so - and are being punished for it, with Wen Ning having been tortured in addition to being locked up.

I see my light come shining From the west down to the east Any day now, any day now I shall be released

You know how Lan Xichen successfully argued for Wen-Clan-Member Meng Yao's life and status, because Meng Yao betrayed Wen Ruohan to help them? Even though Meng Yao killed a bunch of Nie guys? Wen Ning and Wen Qing also betrayed Wen Ruohan and helped the Sunshot Campaign, without killing a bunch of guys. They should have been treated as allies by the four other clans, but they got diddly.  

I’ve Been Dead Once

We return to Wei Wuxian in the burial grounds, where he's lying on the ground surrounded by resentful energy and by strained, desperate voices calling his name. This whole sequence is remarkable, since it effectively communicates the horror he's experiencing, through little more than Xiao Zhan's face and good sound design.

I hang around dying to be tortured  You'll never be alone in the bone orchard

The voices call four versions of his name. A variety of voices call him Wei Wuxian, Wei Gongzi, and Shixiong, which (I think) is what the young Jiang disciples would have called him. And in the midst of those voices, Lan Wangji's voice, low and calm, saying "Wei Ying." Upon hearing that Wei Wuxian starts to drag himself up.

For a show with definitely no zombies in it, they sure do use the visual language of zombie films for Wei Wuxian's first motions after hitting the ground. Starting with twitching fingers, then gradually pulling himself halfway up and crawling, lurching across the ground. Wei Wuxian comes slowly back to life, the very first member of his army of the dead.

He makes his way across the ground toward the floating turtle sword. Along the way he accidentally grabs the world's most bowlegged thigh bone; the lack of sunshine in the burial mounds puts the skeletons at risk for rickets.  All of the skeletons in the show are exactly what you would expect from the practical effects team that made the demon hand and the animatronic dog.

The turtle sword is roiling with resentful energy, and is talking to Wei Wuxian as he crawls toward it, asking if he wants revenge. And what a coincidence, he DOES want revenge. 

He grabs the sword and plunges it into the ground in an explosion of resentful energy. (Ground: why you gotta take it out on me?)

The sequence ends with the most compelling, ominous shot of Wei Wuxian's face...a new man. 

Soundtrack: 1. I Shall Be Released by Bob Dylan 2. Beyond Belief by Elvis Costello  

Writing Prompt: The Day Wei Wuxian arrived, from the POV of a Burial Mounds ghost. 

[yoichichi]

To Call You Mine

college!tsuki x reader series

Ch. 1 - study buddies

warning(s): swearing, early early mornings 😵‍💫, second hand embarrassment LOL

a/n: ahhhhh!! Here’s chapter one of my first series!! I have the masterlist and details linked above but for some quick info: this is a college!au multi chapter fic about tsuki and the reader :) if you’d like to be added to the taglist let me know!! And as always I really appreciate your thoughts and comments n all that :) my inbox is always open!!! Enjoy <3 psps - don’t forget to check out the playlist linked above hhehehe

You’re not sure what woke you first; your alarm, the pain shooting up your back from the stiff cot your university has the audacity to refer to as a “bed”, or your own sour attitude from having to be up so early.

Five am. Five am. It takes a certain kind of sick and twisted individual to suggest meeting up to study at five in the morning. Although, you have to admit, it does take a different kind of person to actually agree to those terms.

Why, why, why, why, why.

Is the mantra you chant to yourself while you mindlessly dress and pack your bag, not even bothering to snatch a power bar from your nightstand for breakfast. Water will have to do.

You make an effort to click the door shut behind you quietly, not wanting to wake up your more than sweet dorm mate who’d surely be focusing on being just as careful as you were right now.

“Oh my gosh, don’t you have that study date in the morning sweetie? You should be sleeping right now.” Bonnie, said dorm mate, leans over the back of your desk chair to peer down at the page of your calculus ll textbook you’ve been staring at for the past ten minutes. Concern is evident in her voice and her body language as she brings up a hand to gingerly rub your shoulder, hoping her small sideways smile will give you a sense of comfort. Or maybe even convince you to give it, and yourself, a rest.

“I know, I know. I just want to be prepared is all. I’m already dropping past a C at the speed of light and I’m sure my professor thinks I’m an idiot, hence him actually setting me up with a tutor, and I don’t need this guy to think I’m one too.” Your head falls in your hands at the end of your sentence, a dramatic groan feeling needed to really emphasize your point, too.

“Okay, just head to bed soon.” She placed a kiss on the top of your head before crawling into her own bed, using a storage container to prop herself onto it properly. She almost made you homesick with the way she doted on you like she was your mother.

You looked over and tapped the screen of your phone to see it read 9:14, not too late. You could reasonably cram in one more lesson.

You scoffed at yourself with the door fully shut and locked. You should’ve listened to Bonnie when you had the chance, it was just past midnight when you finally tore yourself away from last weeks review and decided to get ready for bed. Barely even four hours later and you’re up and getting ready to look at it all again.

You could at least appreciate how quiet the dorm hall was this ea-

“Mornin’, you!”

You internally banged your head against the wall at the bright voice that came towards you with such heavy and loud footsteps, how can someone’s footsteps manage to be so loud on carpet?

You substituted a hello with a gentle smile and wave as your R.A., who definitely didn’t remember your name - which is fine cause you didn’t remember theirs either, rushed past you.

Sighing deeply, you left the warm confines of the dorm building and stepped into the cold and brisk morning, starting your trek to the library.

He couldn’t have even chose a coffee place or something?

You had some, thoughts, about this guy. You didn’t know much about him, only two things.

One, his name: Tsukishima Kei.

Two, he was a good enough student to be assigned to you as a tutor.

You swallowed your slight embarrassment at the thought of your professor reaching out to someone on your behalf and instead chose to focus more on how weird this guy has to be.

Waking up before the sun rises on a Sunday was not something you looked forward to, you don’t think anybody would truly; especially to meet someone for the first time; yet this guy thinks it’s a great idea. So much so he didn’t even think to ask first, just tell you when and where to meet.

Thursday 4:14 pm

- ‘It’s Tsukishima. See you at 5 in the library this sunday.’

- ‘Oh hi!! Oh ok, am or pm?? lol’

Thursday 7:43 pm

- ‘am.’

- ‘Ok cool, see ya then!’

And that was it. Neither of you have texted since, which was three days ago on a Thursday afternoon. It kind of bothered you really, I mean, what kind of self righteous ass-

You took a deep breath and chose to think happy thoughts instead. You’d much rather be in a somewhat pleasant mood when you meet this guy than have some grudge against a stranger. And he probably talks different than he texts, right? You’re sure he didn’t mean to sound like a complete jerk.

You shook your head as if you were shaking away your thoughts as you started to walk along the path to the library. It was a fairly nice walk, about five minutes, and being alone was kind of peaceful on the way there this early.

Your feet shuffled only slightly on the cold concrete surprisingly enough considering the way your fatigue was starting to creep into your joints - but surely the cold wasn’t helping.

It was that kind of morning cold that stung your nostrils when you breathed in and tickled your cheeks and ears. It made your hands clench and unclench in your coat pockets, debating whether or not it’d be worth it to pull the cold metal of your jacket zipper just a centimeter higher in hopes of keeping your neck warmer. The morning fog leaving droplets on the synthetic material of your coat, making it squeak awfully when you moved your arms. And there was the dew on the grass that’d cling onto the tops of your shoe when you had to walk through it.

But the way the old fashioned light posts lit your walk and illuminated the fog kind of made your slight discomfort worth it. And by the time you reached the tall brick library, you could almost say you were in a pleasant mood, almost. And then you remembered why you were here.

You took one final deep breath as you reached the heavy doors of the university library. It was a grand sight really.

The building had its own separate spot on campus, towering at about four stories high, which although didn’t sound ginormous, it definitely felt that way when you had to climb those stairs to the top floor for a book you really didn’t even want. The brick with the foliage creeping up the sides to cover some of the lower windows even gave it an almost magic feeling when you took it in from the outside, it’s too bad that sense of wonder couldn’t be mirrored on the inside.

It was too quiet, especially this early, it smelt almost stale, and everything seemed to have a layer of dust no matter how new a book was. And the bathrooms? Old. Most stalls didn’t even have usable locks at this point. It’s arguably all apart of the charm of such an old building, but it’s not as charming when you have to reach out to keep the stall door closed with your fingertips just to use the restroom. And the water from the sink that never seems to get warm enough when you wash your hands doesn’t help either. Yet the water fountains are always too warm curiously enough.

You made little to no noise besides the occasional rustling of your jacket and squeaking of your shoes as they padded across the dingy off-colored carpet towards the back of the first floor.

There were various sizes of tables spread out throughout the space, few actually matching in color or style. The chairs varied less - but you could still find the oddball desk chair, or the chair with the wooden frame just a tad to wide to feel like a normal seat but just as evenly too small to be a bench.

Your heavy eyes surveyed the dimly lit space in hopes of finding any sign of human life when you finally noticed a backpack haphazardly tossed onto a table, still zipped open. Pens were splayed across the table with a single notebook, scribbles scrawled across the pages too far from you to be read. Not seeing anyone occupying the seat pulled away from the tables edge, you took out your phone to take a peek at the time.

4:58 am

Wow, I’m early?

Shoving your phone back into your pocket you began to make your way towards the (un)occupied table, debating whether a seat closer or farther would be more polite.

If I sit too close that’ll definitely be-

“Hey.”

You felt your shoulders hunch up to your ears and a small gasp leave your mouth at the way the voice behind you so suddenly interrupted your train of thought.

You turned around to come face to face with the voice.

“Are you (y/n)?”

Damn. He’s kinda tall.

Kind of was certainly an understatement. God he was definitely above 6 feet, 6’2” maybe? No, maybe even a little taller.

A single earbud was still in his ear as the other hung down and rested against his chest. He took the time to take the other out and wrap the cord gently around his middle and index finger before shoving it into his coat pocket, presumably the same one with his phone, in an effort to prevent them from getting tangled most likely. He took a deep breath and eyed you up and down before chuckling softly to himself.

“Okay.”

The tall man, who you’re now beginning to realize is Tsukishima, gives you a quizzical stare with a quirked eyebrow as he looks you up and down one last time, definitely judging you and your silence at this point, before turning around and making his way to a table.

Well it’s a good thing he stopped you before you sat at some other strangers table. You don’t think your heart could’ve taken that today.

You watched his back as he made his way towards a table farther into the back, closer to a window peering out onto the foggy and barely illuminated field.

Oh shit

“Oh, sorry!” You clear your throat and begin again, your own sudden volume startling yourself for a moment, as you double your pace to catch up and walk beside him towards a table,

“Um, yeah. Sorry, it’s a little early, brain hasn’t woke all the way up.”

Silence.

At the lack of a response, you decide to awkwardly laugh rather than wallow at the fact he didn’t even give a pity chuckle at your bad attempt at a polite joke to ease the seemingly tense vibe between the two of you.

Okay, well he definitely seems to talk the way he texts.

Clearing your throat again, you tried once more.

“I’m (y/n) by the way, it’s nice to m-“

“I know your name.” He stopped at the table and turned to glance down at you over his shoulder, the tiniest of smirks resting on his face with raised eyebrows, before pulling out a seat to sit in.

Yeah, maybe being quiet for a bit would do you some good. You’ll try again later.

Still trying to shake the embarrassment, no humiliation at this point, you busied yourself with taking out all the proper materials and waiting while he did the same. Sitting patiently opposite of Tsukishima, you decided to finally get a good look at him. Take in what you see and make some judgements.

He shook off his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair, showing you his wide shoulders underneath the simple grey t-shirt he wore. You didn’t fail to notice how the sleeves were cuffed, either.

Hm. Nice look.

Points for Tsukishima.

His hands and ears were slightly pink from the weather outside, contrastingly sweet against the paleness of his skin.

Kinda cute, in like a Keebler elf kind of way.

More points, you guess, for Tsukishima.

He sighed as he opened up the calculus ll textbook, adjusting his glasses with long and slender fingers before flipping through the pages. You decided it’d be best to do the same.

It was quiet for a moment too long when you thought it might be a good idea to try and speak again, but apparently he must’ve had the same idea.

“So, why d-“

“Thanks for-“

Cutting each other off, you pursed your lips as he gave you some emotionless stare, one of you waiting for the other to start back up again.

Andddd, another awkward beat of silence.

Jesus, this was gonna be the longest hour of your life.

—————————

AHHHHH HERES CHAPTER ONE - I promise the next one will be full of tsuki and tsuki content ok, I just had to get the ball rolling and really wanted to post smth!! I hope you guys like and please please leave your thoughts or anything in my ask box or anywhere!! I’d love to talk :D MWAH I also have little footnotes in my tags too :) (more like commentary but yeah)

taglist for series: @plutowrites @c0rncheez @ruetaro @daniagabriela48 @toyas-wife @devilkou @anime-and-kpop-trash (if you’d like to be added or removed let me know! And if ur crossed off tagging didn’t work!)

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

2. twisted

The cartoon that came out of the machine was pretty as a picture, perfect in almost every detail, and had a bubbly, positive personality. But she was not what Joey had wanted Susie to become. (Set in an AU where Joey gets perfect toons from his freshly killed employees and STILL isn’t happy, the unpleasable bitch…)

“Progress report to GENT home office, Client; Joey Drew Studios.

With the addition of the new ink recipe to use in the machine, we have made an unbelievable leap in progress and have almost met our client’s expectations. What had started as a machine to mold life sized figures out of ink has now done things that border on being supernatural.

Although Mr. Drew seems unimpressed, even frustrated with the results at times, in spite of the fact that the models have come out identical to their cartoon counterparts.

The process of running the cartoon film through the machine for the figures to imprint on has been successful, but it looks like that unless someone goes through the trouble of making a short that only has ONE character in it, the machine picks what character it makes at seemingly random. That is our client’s complaint; that instead of being user chosen, the machine picks out which living, breathing, thinking ink models it makes at random. Upon working on this, if I were to be in the client’s shoes, I’d have several valid complaints regarding the machine and the models it created, but our client’s complaint… Is that the machine that doesn’t have a system that allows the user to pick and choose which model it makes yet creates a physically flawless model every single time, does not allow the user to pick and choose which model it makes. He never ceases to infuriate me.

On a sour note, there was an incident with the figure in the likeness of a character called ‘The Brute’. Upon its creation, it immediately went and broke our client’s leg in a very… well, brutal fashion too. But fortunately, it has not physically attacked anyone since The Cameraman figure was made as we have threatened to separate them if it keeps up that behavior. It still likes to insult people, and it still does things that unnerve me though. We’re hoping that the rest of the figures will be less violent and or creepy.”

Thomas clicked off the recording and sighed as he looked at the newly made report, there was no way he could submit this to his boss without someone sending in someone to make sure he wasn’t huffing in ink fumes and whatever the Studio workers smoked to consider any of this to be normal.

“Hey Tommy! I think I figured out the issue with the machine! Or rather, its fuel.”

The mechanic grit his teeth and turned to face his client.

“What? I wasn’t aware that there was a problem with it.”

“Why, Tommy, how could you forget? I’m talking about the figure deposit problem of course! Why did we get The Brute when we wanted to get Boris? Why did we get Cameraman when we wanted Bendy? The answer was so simple, why, it was even staring at us the entire time!”

“Uh huh…” Thomas did not look convinced. “And what was this issue?”

“The ingredients, the Ink of course! You simply can’t put blueberry pancake batter in an oven and be surprised when you get blueberry pancakes instead of blueberry muffins, We got those two knuckleheads before we got the real stars of the show because the souls used to make them weren’t fit to make those two, but the machine still did what it does best: made living cartoons.”

Tom had an uneasy feeling in his gut as Joey grabbed his arm and led him to the Ink Machine’s room. He felt like a sheep being led to the slaughterhouse, he KNEW what went down in there! He knew the other ingredients, not well, per say, but for long enough to judge them and their characters.

He didn’t shed a single tear when Sammy was used in it, in fact, he was rather pleased with the results before it started acting out like that. He and the music director were almost always at each other’s throats for one reason or another. If you asked him, the ex-musician was strange, rude, clearly mentally unstable, and sometimes even cruel. And even if he wasn’t, his physical health had declined so much over his time at the studio that it was obvious that he would die regardless of whether or not he was put in the machine. Feeding Sammy to that machine was an act of mercy, really, and even if it wasn’t, it served him right to become a- err, The Brute and have him put the former musician in his place- put his villainous ways to a decent cause. Now if only someone could ensure for a fact that The Brute would behave...

Now the other ingredient, Norman Polk, was a different story. The man was old, weird and kinda creepy. On the surface, the man was an ideal candidate. Like Sammy, he would die anyway and nobody would miss him when he did. But on the contrary, he seemed like he still had some good years left in him. And while he was weird and creepy, he had been those things in an oddly endearing way that most of the studio had either liked or tolerated enough to not be bugged by it. The mechanic didn’t know how to explain it, that man reminded Tom of a mysterious, mostly-estranged relative that shows up out of nowhere and was always there for you even if you don’t always see him. So when the man snooped too much for his own good and had to be silenced… Tom could never look the resulting toon in the eye, or in his case, the lens.

But the mechanic couldn’t deny that it needed to be done, after all, the former projectionist was far too nosy for anyone’s sake. Nobody who knows the secret of the Ink Machine (or rather, it’s unconventional secret ingredient needed for its ink) should be free to wander the studio and spill the beans.

And a feeling in his gut was beginning to tell him that that was why he was the next on the chopping block.

He had built it, he learned what it would take to make it work, he had done what it took to make it work, and it was working now; No more models that would only move a tiny bit before collapsing into puddles! No more off model models! No more issues aside from x, y, z… -No more reasons for Joey to keep him alive when it was now too dangerous to his business… 

A tiny voice at the back of his head told him it served him right. The creator of this unholy torture device would now be consumed by it, just like how the maker of the Brazen Bull was the first victim it claimed.

At this point, he was almost morbidly curious on who or what the machine would make him; would it poke fun at his past and make him that territorial junkyard guard, Canoodle? Would it ironically punish him for his greed by making him The Fat Cat of the show, Boswell Lotsobucks? Would it acknowledge that although he was a villain to the bitter end, he still tried to go clean only for demons to drag him back down his dark paths and make him into Charley? Thinking about it, any butcher gang member would be a good enough fit really.

He was a mix of relieved, disappointed, and horrified when he was brought into the room and saw the unconscious voice actress of Alice Angel strapped to a mobile operating table. Joey seemed to ignore his reaction as he proudly showed her off and began to monologue.

“Like Boris, Sammy was a musician, simple-minded, and was very loyal to those he considered friends until the bitter end. But what made Sammy more like the Brute then Boris- Aside from body type, obviously, was that Sammy had quite the short temper on him, one that got messed with often, and a tendency to hold onto a grudge that can’t be swayed away with a good meal or a bad joke… Just like our friend; the Brute.”

Tom stayed speechless as Joey continued his seemingly prepared and rehearsed speech.

“As for Bendy and Norman, well, it’s obvious that those too simply weren’t compatible in the slightest! Sure, they both have their mischievous sides, but that alone doesn’t make a man into a good imp… However, do you know who DOES have more in common with Mr. Polk? That’s right! A certain smart alec-someone who knows a thing or two about anyone, everyone, and everything whether he wants to or not. Someone with a darker, more jaded sense of humor than our little devil, someone who can lurk in the shadows, or in his case, ‘backstage’ for safety or to gather Intel, but be happy and proud to take the front stage when the need arises! ...Alright, I can see that Norman’s soul may have influenced the personality of our Cameraman, but at least he did it in ways that make sense to the character.”

The mechanic continued to stay silent as Joey continued.

“But the main point is: we know what to do to fix this little issue. If we want a main character, we need someone who embodies the soul of that character. And Ms. Campbell here said it herself; Alice is a part of her!”

“Joey…”

“Why, she’d be thanking us if she knew what was coming! This is a dream come true for her! She always seemed to be the happiest when she was singing our angel darling’s songs…”

As if he was snapped out of a trance, the mechanic pulled Joey to his face, gripping the animator’s arms tightly and shaking him up a bit.

“Joey! We can’t do this! Susie isn’t like Norman or Sammy. She’s young, healthy, and still has a lot to live for. Nobody would buy that she passed on from something out of the blue, or that she moved away without warning or telling anyone. Everyone in the studio loves her and talks to her frequently! If we do this, especially so soon, they will make the connection, and they will find out about this. It was bad enough when Norman went, imagine if someone as well loved as her went too!”

Joey just laughed and slapped Tom’s shoulder.

“Oh Tommy, all we need to tell them is that Susie got her big break and is Bringing Alice to life in ways never before seen! And to sell the illusion, also tell them ‘you know how those folks in Hollywood are with their schedules, always a bunch of busy bees.’ They’ll bite, you just have to trust me.”

“What if they don’t?” the mechanic argued. “What if they start snooping around and start to piece together what really happened to her?”

Joey’s smile wavered a bit, but remained steadfast.

“Well, we’ll just have to cross that bridge when we reach it. And when we do, we’ll have our answer!”

“Nnnnggghhh…”

Both of them shuddered when they heard the voice actress start to stir awake.

“I swore I used stronger stuff in her drink…”

“...Jo...Joey..? ..Mr. Conner..?” The voice actress’s real eye widened in horror as she looked around, and her voice wavered as she grew more and more frantic. “WHat’s going on?! Where am I- Why am I tied up?!”

“S-Susie! Everything’s perfectly fine my dear, you just need to calm down a bit and I’ll explain everything…” He subtly jabbed Thomas in the ribs with his elbow. “Tommy!” He hissed “Throw her in the machine already!”

The frightened voice actress began to struggle against her restraints while Tom hesitated. Joey shot him a glare as he strolled up behind Susie and put a ‘reassuring’ hand on the weeping angel’s shoulder.

“Joey, please… let me go… Don’t do this to me!” Tears were running down the woman’s face, her voice was soft and breaking from her stress. “Just let me go and I promise I won’t tell anyone…”

“Now, now, Susie, there’s nothing to worry about, yes I know this looks unsettling from your position… But you and Alice are going places, new, big places that most people only dream of seeing! You’re going to bring her to life in ways that will touch the hearts of generations!”

A flash of realization crossed her face.

“Joey… answer me this: when Sammy ‘died from untreated lung cancer’ did he actually die from lung cancer? And when Norman ‘died from a workplace injury’ did he really…?” her voice trailed off a bit with uncertainty before asking her third question. “Did their deaths have anything to do with those two toons that showed up?!”

Her questions were not answered by words, but with actions as the two men stuffed her into the machine. When it turned on, her screams echoed throughout the mostly empty studio, chilling all who heard them to the very bone.

When they finally stopped, the machine whirred and roared to life and Joey rubbed his hands together in glee as he watched the machine work its magic.

Thomas, on the other hand, stood in silence while staring at his hands as dread and guilt sank in his gut.

The former man’s smile fell into a look of confusion when he saw a pair of gloves with ‘X’ marks on them come out, followed by arms that connected to them. That look of confusion fell deeper into a frown when he saw the arms stretch, curl, and twist when the gloves reached the floor as if they were streams of ice cream coming out of the machine at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Alice didn’t have arms that curled and stretched, but Joey knew a certain demoness toon who did; Miss Twisted. He was cursing under his breath, of course it would complete their little trio before giving him what he wanted! Now he wasted his one shot at getting Alice!

The rest of the toon didn’t even get out of the damn machine, it was like she was taunting him by continuing to stretch her arms and let them continue to coil in piles on the floor instead of showing him the finished product.

Furious, he marched over and grabbed the toon demoness’s arms and yanked her out of the damn machine.

“Stop messing around!” He scolded before pausing and reapplying his signature smile. “Your friends Brute and Cameraman have been worried sick about you ever since their creation! You wouldn’t want to keep them waiting for you any longer than they’ve already been, right?”

He could’ve been imagining it, but he swore that she had a look of pure terror on her face before she put on a fake smile of her own. And was it just him, or was this Miss Twisted’s left eye slightly discolored, glassy looking, if that made sense for someone with pitch black pie-cut eyes. The grayer eye she had reminded him of Susie Campbell’s fake eye.

“Y-yeah! You’re right!” She pushed Joey out of her face, clearly uncomfortable by his staring but pretending to be perfectly fine. “I can’t keep my boys waiting for too long, who knows what they’ll do?” She chuckled nervously. “So… where are you keeping them? where are they hiding?”

“Tommy here will be happy to show you, just follow him and-”

“Thanks!”

The demoness chipperly chirped and swiftly yanked Thomas out of the room at a speed that almost insulted the man.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

please tell me your headcannons about the silly old traditions and funny hats and gowns worn at the Assassins Guild graduation ceremonies (bonus points: Vetinari occasionally attends as a distinguished alumnus; differences for those not taking the black) Downey has to make a speech

I love this ask, thank you so much. <3 

--

Downey has added feathers to the hats because it’s Downey and he believes all hats need a nice feather. 

Vetinari: . . .I refuse. 

Downey: It’s a single, white feather. Very stylish. 

Vetinari: You can’t make these hats stylish. It’s impossible. 

Downey: That will not stop me from trying. 

-- 

First it must be said, I place most of my Discworld fashion firmly in the “anywhere from 1350-1650″ camp. Which means there’s lots of diversity but it’s all still very late medieval/early modern. This is a just-me thing though, as the books are all over the place with the fashion. There seemed to be a sense, in the early Watch books, that fashion went backwards (i.e. the more recent, to our mind, the clothes the more old fashioned they are on discworld) but that was quickly abandoned partway through the series and then it became a hodgepodge. 

I still like the early modern feel and so am keeping to it. You can pry Downey’s stupid fucking doublet with its black pearl buttons and his slouchy hat with the Florentine “I’m very gay” feather from my cold, dead hands. 

--

This got long so it’s under the cut. 

Fashion first, because this is Downey and the Assassins we’re talking about after all. 

So I imagine the hats that the professors/teaching staff wear are the slouchy ones like these. This is modeled off of hats that were in fashion when the guild first instituted formal graduation ceremonies which are relatively recent (for a given value of “recent” i.e. only circa 150/200 years ago). 

The students graduating with the Black get the slouchy hats too. The ones who didn’t take the black get the more familiar flat board graduation cap. (Students 100% balance things on top of the flat board cap. This may or may not be desired by the cap-wearer.)

The formal, ceremonial gowns, indeed the entire outfit, for the teachers are hilariously ornate because of course they are. It’s the Assassin’s Guild. 

All ceremonial gowns would be different iterations of the houppelande. 

Beneath the gown there is the Assassin’s black of the doublet with a long-ish skirt beneath the belt (knee length? perhaps floor - but then it starts hitting gown territory). The doublet is form fitting at the top, belted off with the skirt below. Naturally, there are very nice buttons. The linen undershirt is white and can be seen at the collar and wrists. Leggings/tights/hose/whatever you want to call them, also black and worn with dress shoes, not their usual working day boots. All men present wear this, including Vetinari. 

(Downey: No grey-blacks allowed on stage unless it’s representing your specialty and I know you didn’t specialize in astronomy and quantum mathmatics. 

Vetinari: 

Vetinari: But it’s My Colour. 

Downey: Put the doublet on.) 

Women on staff are also all in black, but it’s a dress over a kirtle which is over their undershirt which can be seen at the cuffs. The dress et al is also form fitting on the top with tightly buttoned (or laced) sleeves, then there’s the belt and full skirts after. Dresses are always worn with a high neckline. They too have formal dress shoes, though you can’t see them. 

The ceremonial gowns are black with coloured lining and trim. I’m thinking the sleeves are large and pinned back to show the lining which represents the general field you’re a specialist in. So, green for biology; red for literature/linguistics; white for deportment/dancing; blue for history; yellow for mathematics or whatever. The lining can be dual-colours if applicable. The trim will accent the lining but doesn’t mean anything in particular.  

The slouchy hats, however, tell you what the person specialized in with regards to their training i.e. poisons; knife work etc. 

Some gowns have that long drapey hood that is purely for aesthetics, but not all. I’m thinking if your specialty is stealth (coughHavelockcough) you get it. But, of course, as a specialist in stealth you don’t want people knowing that so no one who qualifies for a drapey hood wears it. 

Students wear simple black gowns with relatively short, deep cut sleeves so you can see more of their doublet beneath. Boys wear the usual doublet/hose combo (kind of like this) and girls the formal dress/kirtle combo (think this, but all black and with less jewels and tighter sleeves) beneath their graduation gowns. 

All gowns on students and staff alike are closed in the front - either with buttons or ties. 

Aside from the hat distinction between those who are taking the black and those who aren’t, the gowns for those taking the Black are all black and have the drapey hood. Those that aren’t taking the black have gowns trimmed with a dark colour - maybe blue? grey? something that blends but still is distinct.

--

Ceremonial Nonsense 

The graduation is held in the great hall where the students usually dine on a day-to-day basis. Parents are allowed and all families get a “plus two” for grandparents or family friends or whatever. 

There are two separate ceremonies - the first is for those taking the Black. That’s the one where Downey forces Vetinari to give a speech as he is Guild Provost and one a Distinguished Old Boy etc. 

Downey does his speech first and usually lines up those coming after him (Vetinari; Mericet; Lady T’Malia is what I have in my head. Though Mericet can usually convince Downey to sub in someone else as he is Too Old For This Shit).

For those taking the Black Downey will pepper in Fun Facts About Assassins and Helpful Pro Tips for Life (some of which are more helpful than others). Vetinari’s speech usually offers subtle rebuttals to Downey’s more outlandish life advice. Lady T’Malia’s is a universal favourite because she has the dry, disdainful wit of a person who has seen way too much nonsense in her life and has lived to continue to roll her eyes at it all. 

Mericet, when he’s made to do a speech and can’t pawn it off on one of the younger staff, is always very short. His record time was 15 seconds wherein he got to the podium, looked somberly out at his soon to be former students, and said “All I can say to you is, good luck and don’t die” then he sat down. Downey could be heard to mutter: Really?? rather loudly. 

Vetinari, more out of a desire to cause Downey some form of annoyance than anything else, will drone on for a long time and pepper in weird references only the headmaster of the guild will understand. He makes a few tiger jokes every year to which Downey, when he gets up to introduce the next speaker, will reply: “You really need to get over that”. No one knows what they’re talking about. However, the students always haaate it when Vetinari takes the podium. There is much sighing and sliding down in seats out of boredom. 

The students are called up to the stage the receive their diploma in order of their name and it’s done by house (so viper house then black widow then poison dart frog or whatever they all are). 

Weapons are expressly forbidden on all students after that One Unfortunate Incident back when Cruces was headmaster about which the least said, soonest mended. 

Back when Downey and Vetinari were graduating, when weapons were allowed, all students were given a ceremonial sword and they got to wear it when they went up to take their diploma. Students still get a ceremonial sword (or dagger, depending on preference) but they are received after the ceremony. 

The infamous ring is presented alongside the diploma. 

For those not taking the Black, it’s still the same roster of speakers but it’s usually a faster ceremony (though, that is changing over the years as the Guild is sought out more and more as a general-purpose educational institution for parents seeking a classical education for their children). 

Students in this group are also gifted a ceremonial sword but they’re allowed to wear theirs during the graduation ceremony because most can do nice, polite, gentlemanly dueling and not much else. Unlike their colleagues who can use it in increasingly diverse and experimental fashions. 

After both ceremonies are complete there is a grand dinner with students and their families and much conviviality. Under Downey’s reign as headmaster the amount of “accidental deaths” that occurred at this dinner have decreased dramatically. Mostly because unlike previous headmaster, Downey thinks it a waste of a good education to knock someone off so soon. Also, it is deplorable manners and not civil.

(Vimes, “It’s also immoral.” Downey, “I fail to see your point, commander?”) 

Wait at least a year or two until inhuming that One Guy who was A Class A Cunt During Maths. Or, if they’re really that bothersome, at least have the grace to wait until after the pudding has been served. 

--

Pre-graduation tomfoolery 

The graduating class, as a whole (well, those who survived the Run and those not taking the Black who haven’t accidentally fallen down the stairs), have two weeks between end of term and graduation and tend to run absolutely wild. 

Downey’s main rule is: no one is inhumed, his dogs are left alone and nothing is set on fire; flooded; booby-trapped; or exploded etc.* 

*see fine print for continuing list. 

It is considered a grand tradition for each house to prank their house master. One year, students cellophaned everything in Mericet’s office. Including individual pages of books. Downey thought this absolutely Delightful. Mericet said, “that’s it, I’m retiring.” Which is, coincidentally, what he says every year. 

Students will also strike up a very large game of Gotcha (i.e. Assassin) over the course of the intervening weeks between Term and Graduation. It used to be a very deadly endeavour but due to Downey’s new rule of “no inhuming until after graduation you daft kids” it’s just become a way to dunk on people. 

These are also the weeks that students clean out their rooms which is always an adventure. Many will try and discreetly sneak out their illegal pot plants and shroom logs. Those that hide them in places that aren’t their room will have minor panic attacks because Lady T’Malia and other staff enjoy rounding up the plants ahead of the students and watching the fallout. 

(Vetinari: I really should tell Vimes you have enough here to supply everyone in the city for a decade. 

Downey: Leave my drug collection alone.)

There is a lot of Lady T’Malia and others being like, “You all do know we hid our illegal shit in the exact same places, right?’ 

Students will also throw end-of-year ragers in the common room which the staff pretend to know nothing about. These tend to get very messy very quickly. Downey will show up around 3am to shut it down, though. Because some people need to sleep and aren’t 18 anymore. 

--

Anyway, that’s the long and short of my headcanon for Guild Graduation nonsense. All in all it’s a rowdy if somewhat bittersweet time. Downey secretly gets a little teary eyed over it. Aww look at his tiny little murderers going off into the big wide world. He remembers when they first arrived with knobbly knees and big eyes. His paternal side comes out in full force. 

Vetinari: it’s very good you have hundreds of students and several dogs because I don’t know what you’d do without them since you’re basically 110% a dad. 

Downey: i might have gotten married. What a horrifying concept. 

Vetinari: 

Vetinari: I have weird feelings about that which I am not going to explore in any great depth. 

--

Thank you so much for the ask! <3 <3 

[moons-writings]

Cinderella au - aftg

Ok ok, I know that I’m supposed to be working on my vixen!neil au (and I am! It’s just taking a bit because I apparently can’t write short fics to save my life), but I just watched the live action Cinderella and I have Thoughts. 

Neil is Cinderella, because while Andrew is totally the one with the evil barely-related family, it wouldn’t make sense for Andrew to go to a ball. Also, when Neil’s mom dies, his situation becomes worse, like Cinderella.

Lola is the evil stepmother but Nathan never goes to jail or dies. There’s no stepsisters (there could be if you want the Moriyamas, but I don’t because that just adds a whole other layer that I don’t want to deal with, also we like things soft) but the rest of the inner circle fills that role of pushing Neil down

Nathan has some high rank and is affiliated with the army. He’s not a captain or general by any means but has a reputation of being lethal.

Mary was the one with the real power (maybe a countess or foreign duchess), so Nathan married up. When she died, Stuart wanted to take Neil under his wing, but Nathan didn’t want to lose hold of the one thing that tied him to power so he argued that Neil should stay with him because Lola could provide some “maternal love”. 

Neil is forced to do household chores and clean up after his father and his circle’s kills. He’s also forced to learn how to use knives to help them in the future

Bee is the queen, she is sisters with Abby, who marries Wymack

Andrew and Aaron are Bee’s kids, Kevin and Dan are Abby and Wymack’s

Wymack is part of the army, maybe the general or something. He teaches Dan the people skills while Kevin cares more about being the best swordsman

Aaron follows his aunt and becomes a healer while Andrew becomes a skilled cavalier

They all play a sport *cough exy cough* that they made up when they were little kids (and that’s why the rules are so screwed up)

Aaron wants a ball because he fell in love with a foreign princess (Katelyn) but Andrew doesn’t like her so Aaron wants Bee’s approval to trump Andrew

When he were younger, Andrew was kidnapped by Drake and he saw some human trafficking and Drake almost got to him. Renee saved him and got him to the royal guard. Andrew became an advocate for cleaning up the kingdom and became close friends with Renee

Bee adopted Andrew and Aaron when Tilda first abandoned them. Tilda tried to take one back but Bee made her realize that guilt wasn’t going to make her a good mother so Tilda left them in Bee’s care

Nicky and the twins know each other and their relation. Nicky’s parents are influential so although Bee has tried to save him, she can’t really take him away without causing a scandal, which she doesn’t think will be good for him. Instead, she suggests that he study under an ambassador. Nicky gets to travel and meet Erik, the prince of some place more powerful than Bee’s, and thus Luther’s, kingdom. Nicky is happy and lovesick and takes over as ambassador to Erik’s kingdom

ANYWAY

Aaron wants a ball

Bee says yes

Andrew is upset because Bee says everyone has to go, so he spitefully says that EVERYONE includes commoners, so now the whole freaking kingdom is invited

Bee privately thinks this is funny and that maybe it will mean that Andrew will find a nice boy

Dan thinks its hilarious and while Kevin is upset that it’ll take time away from practicing, it’s making Andrew take out his anger during practice

Invitations go out, announcements are made

Nathan decides he wants to go in order to social climb

He doesn’t want Neil to go because having a kid will make him look less serious

Neil doesn’t care but Matt, who is one of the servants (stable boy), wants to go and wants Neil to go because he wants his friend to have fun

Lola sends Neil to Allison’s dressmaking shop to order a dress

Allison has Renee over when Neil goes. Renee takes one look at Neil and sees someone who’s been hurt and needs help. Allison sees a fighter with horrendous fashion taste. Allison tells Neil she’ll make the dress only if Neil agrees to let her make a suit for him and if he’ll save the money to get something decent to eat

Neil agrees because while the suit thing might be weird, he’s not about to give up free money

Renee goes and tells Andrew because she thinks he might want to know about the corruption in the nobility

Andrew decides he wants to see this for himself so he decides to lurk around when Lola goes in for a fitting

Neil accompanies Lola because she wants to flaunt her power over him

Andrew sees Neil and is like “ooh pretty boy”

Neil sees Andrew and is Suspicious and kinda recognizes him as one of the princes

Allison sees all this and makes Andrew measure Neil for Neil’s suit

Renee laughs at Andrew’s pain

The “yes or no”s start here, but with Neil flinching away from Andrew when Andrew goes to measure Neil’s torso

Andrew is suspicious and a bit angry at what this might mean, because he saw how the trafficked kids reacted to other people and he know how he reacted the weeks and months after getting kidnapped so he knows something is up

Allison drags out Lola’s fitting as much as she can to give Andrew and Neil time to talk, as well as to give Neil time away from Lola

Andrew tells Neil to meet him in the woods if he wants to get away from his father

Neil is still suspicious but figures it couldn’t hurt, and besides, he’s definitely faster and a better fighter than some prince, right?

Neil and Lola go home and Lola complains to Nathan about how long Allison took, Nathan lets her at Neil 

They meet in the woods the next day

Andrew wants to grill Neil when he sees how hurt he is, but Neil doesn’t really want to talk, so they exchange truths

They meet a couple more times like this (the ball isn’t happening for another three weeks because it takes time for this stuff to be planned and organized)

By the second week, the rest of the royal family has noticed and elected Dan to follow Andrew because Aaron and Kevin are both annoyed at Andrew for various reasons

The day Dan follows Andrew is also the day Matt comes with Neil. Matt had followed Neil because he wants to meet this person who is making Neil happy when he isn’t with Matt

Andrew is annoyed and tells Dan to annoy someone else, so she goes and talks with Matt. Matt now wants to go the the ball too

Slowly the foxes come together, and by the week before the ball, the royal cousins have taught the others exy.

Also, as the ball has been approaching, Nathan has swung between ignoring Neil and causing immense amounts of harm

This causes the foxes to rally even more around Neil

The week leading up to the ball, Nathan was scarily calm because the royal guard has lightened up on patrols and so Nathan isn’t as worried about getting caught

Neil tells the Andrew this privately and Andrew makes a note to get Neil away from his father asap

The day of the ball, Nathan and the inner circle go. They make plans to leave at midnight.

Neil isn’t really planning on going still, but Matt shows him the suit Allison had made for him (Allison gave Matt the suit because she didn’t trust Neil not to ruin it before the ball) and Dan had sent them a carriage, so it would be a waste not to go. 

They don’t their names called because only the women and distinguished guests get to be announced

Andrew abandons Aaron when he sees Neil

Bee has already given Katelyn her stamp of approval when Katelyn was the first to arrive and she saw how lovesick both Aaron and Katelyn were

When Andrew gets to Neil, Matt leaves him to find Dan

For a solid hour everyone is happily paired off, Renee watching fondly as Allison makes snide remarks on others’ outfits, Aaron and Katelyn dancing, Matt and Dan talking, Neil and Andrew in the gardens. Kevin is talking with the daughter and apprentice of a blacksmith (Thea) and Nicky is pissing his parents off with Erik. 

Then, when Neil comes back inside with Andrew, he sees a) the time and b) Nathan

He’s not sure if Nathan’s seen him, but he tells Andrew that he’s got to go, so he runs like the speedy little fucker he is. In his haste, he leaves a shoe, because Renee and Matt annoyingly made him change into bad-for-running shoes because his shoes were too dirty

This makes Renee, Dan, and Allison the Fairy Godmother(s)

Andrew picks up his shoe and decides that when he finds Neil, he’s going to get him shoes that fit better

At home, Neil finds that the inner circle minus Lola is back. They start to beat him up, and when Nathan and Lola get home, they continue to do so. Nathan can’t cripple Neil permanently because everyone would notice, but he does break his leg and slash him up

He’s about to break the other leg when the Foxes break down the door. Kevin, Renee, Dan, and Andrew utterly ruin Nathan, and since they’re royals, they’re untouchable

Nathan and the inner circle go to jail

It turns out Aaron proposed to Katelyn at the ball, so Andrew proposes with the shoe Neil lost. Neil is confused, but elopes with Andrew.

Dan, Allison and Nicky laugh, Renee and Kevin shake their heads for different reasons and then Nicky freaks out because he wanted to throw elaborate weddings for his cousins, but now Andrew has ruined it

[bts-hyperfixation]

Little Sparks Light Fires

You and Jin rarely fought. That’s why this had been so weird. It started with something so small too. You’d come home from work shattered, just to find he wasn’t home from practice yet. It wasn’t unusual for you to beat your husband home, but today you’d be hoping he would be in. After such a long day all you wanted was to be tucked safe in his arms. You couldn’t remember the last time you guys had had a chance to just talk about bad days and funny stories. You dumped your bag by the door, kicked your shoes in either direction, and grabbed the first snack you could get your hands on; then you settled down on the plush sofa to watch some mindless drivel on the tv.

You had fallen asleep by the time Jin came through the door. You missed when he tripped over your abandoned bag, and you hadn’t heard the dramatic huff he gave when he saw your shoes scattered. All tell-tale signs that he had also had a rough day. What should’ve happened was a shitty take away meal and a good nights sleep, but for some reason you never got that far. The final straw for Jin’s waning patience had been the snacks littering the floor that had fallen from your lap when you passed out.

“Y/N-ah why is everything such a mess?” you open your eyes at the sound of your husband’s voice, turning to face him with a sleepy smile.

“Jinny, your home.” You stretch out and move to embrace him, stopping when you see the look on his face. “What’s wrong?” you ask, pushing down your own bad day in favour of listening to his.

“You know I’ve had a long day and I just wanted to come home and go to sleep but look at all the mess you’ve made.” He gestures around you at the easily cleanable mess. You glance around you and shrug.

“Okay, I’m gonna clear it up its just I had a long day too an—”

“GAH you always say you have a long day, and it’s always a mess. Just once I’d like to come home and not have to trail around after you, please.” This sparks your anger. He was just as messy as you were, if not more so and this wasn’t even that bad. Blame it on lack of sleep or frayed nerves but you bit back at his words with a little more force than necessary. The argument spiralled from then, stupid little jabs at one another, too many to keep track of. All you know is by the end of it you walk away, tears in your eyes, and slam your bedroom door shut behind you.

Its around an hour later when you hear him snooping outside the door. You take a deep breath, releasing the remaining emotions before calling out to him.

“Are you gonna keep pacing outside the door? Or do you want to come in and tell me what’s really wrong?” Jin sheepishly pokes his head around the door frame, checking for signs that you’re still mad at him. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees the smile tugging at the corner of your lips. You couldn’t stay mad at him if you tried.

“Jagi…” he draws out the affection, crawling across the bed before collapsing into your lap. “Jagi I’m sorry, I don’t know why I was so mean. It was a long day, and I haven’t seen you properly in so long. Do you still love me?” you gaze into the puppy dogs eyes he is shooting up at you and make it look like you’re going to lean down and kiss him before you flick him on the nose instead. He scrunches his nose in response, his face going from pleading to mock annoyance.

“YAHHH I try to apologise and this is what I get. Abuse from the Maknaes all day, abuse from my wife all night. Why does no one love me?!” he flops dramatically off your lap and onto the duvet besides you. You hold back your giggles as you straddle him.

“I’m so sorry Jinny” you plant kisses all over his face, playing along. “How can I make it better, how can I make you forget about those mean little boys?” you take the kisses further, trailing along his jawline and down his neck, biting in particularly sensitive areas.

“And you, don’t forget you were mean too.” he holds back a moan as you bite down hard as punishment for his words. “Okay, okay I’m sorry.” His window screen wiper laugh makes an appearance as you jab him in the ribs for calling you mean. Your heart melts completely at the sound. His infectious laugh is one of the things that made you fall in love with him. But now wasn’t the time for it. You return your lips to his, silencing him immediately. His arms wrap around you and pull you close, taking all the air in your lungs with them. He always had a way of leaving you breathless.

You break away from him and shuffle down his body, taking his sweatpants with you. You trail your hands back up his now bare legs, squeezing when you reach his delectable thighs. Your mouth is a breath away from his boxer clad cock when you next speak.

“So… tell me my love, how can I make it better?” your voice sounds too innocent for the teasing you are currently taking part in. You blow on the damp patch caused by precum in his underwear and he shivers at the temperature change.

“Take me in your mouth jagi, want to see you claim me.” You oblige immediately pulling him lose from the fabric confines and licking his tip. You run your tongue around the head, teasing him just a little more. He watches intently and you never lose eye contact as you slide his dick down your throat. You see his abdomen tighten as he whines.

“It’s been so long baby, just like that.” His hand comes down to wrap in your hair, guiding but not forcing. You let your jaw go slack and hollow your cheeks as you accommodate him. You have to supress a gag or two on the way down but its worth it when he lets out the most insane lewd noises. You swallow around him and the hand in your hair pulls harder signalling he’s close. You drag yourself away, feeling suddenly empty.

He draws you back up to him. You kiss again as he plays with the hem of your shirt. Cold fingers drag up your sides as he brings the t-shirt over your head, the sensation makes you shiver. He makes short work of your bra as you fumble with the fly on your shorts. All you want now is to be riding him. Arguments and sleep forgotten. You slip out of your shorts and throw them across the room. You straddle his lap and plant your hands firmly on his chest under his shirt. He lines himself up to your dripping entrance and you slide down slowly, nails digging into his perfect pecs the further down you get. One of his hands grips at your hip in a similar fashion, creating half moon marks on your skin. The other has found its way to your clit rubbing it in the way he knows drives you crazy.

Soon you’ve adjusted to his size. You grind down experimentally, causing him to release yet another delicious whine. You taunt him with slow pumps and figure of eights with your hips. Soon he can’t take it anymore, choosing to torture you in return. His ministrations on your clit quicken, making it hard for you to concentrate. The coil in your stomach is pulling tighter and tighter. You’re moaning like a bitch in heat, desperate to reach your end.

As soon as he feels you release, he flips you, driving into you hard and fast. His own orgasm not far off but determined to overstimulate you before he came. You were crying by the time he decides you had enough. He slows his thrusts. His orgasm hits you a little too hard and you yelp as he buries himself deep inside of you. He stills for a while, recovering as he softens inside of you.

“It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve done this Jagi.” His eyes are starting to droop as he falls on to the pillows beside you, cuddling you close to him. You think about it and realise just how long it had been.

“Nearly two months…” you’re both shocked at the revelation but it makes sense, comeback had kept Jin busy and you wanted to give him space.

“Well that explains the fight, sexual tension can make you do crazy things” he kisses your forehead and wraps you up tighter in his arms.

Masterlist

[iamknicole]

New Leaf (2)

HAHN AU

After having lunch with her mom, Amanda went to visit her brother, Wyatt, at his rehab facility. Him and her didn't have a very good relationship but she wanted to go see him since it had been so long. She had gotten the address of the facility from her dad under the guise that she wouldn't give the information to her mother which she agreed to simply because she knew her mother didn't care to know in the first place.

The nurse led her to his room and opened the door for. When she stepped in, she spotted him sitting out on his closed off patio. She sat her purse on his desk before going out to where he was.

"It's a nice day, huh?" She said plopping down in the seat next to him.

"If you say so, Amanda. What are you doing here anyway?" He asked barely glancing at her.

Taken back by his tone, Amanda took a few deep breaths to keep from going off on him and smiled once again. "I came to see you. I just moved back yesterday, wanted to let you know."

Finally he looked over at her.

"Where are you staying?"

"At home. Where else would I stay?" She chuckled.

"That's dumb. Why go back there? Those people don't love you, they just wanna control you."

"Wyatt ... no they don't. I get it, you're mad that you're here but I think you should be grateful anyone was willing to help you. They could've just let you keep going until you overdosed. Or they could've let you go to jail for killing that little girl."

Wyatt shot a sharp glare at her and she gave him the same back.

"That look does not scare me. We all know what you did, you're just lucky the right people couldn't prove it." She huffed standing up from her chair. "You know, I know you're pissed at them because of what happened to us at camp but that wasn't their fault, they didn't know that would happen. And you feel like they owe you something, especially mom, because of what happened but mom doesn't owe you a damn thing. You're just spoiled and ungrateful."

Wyatt snorts and rolled his eyes waving her off. "That's easy for you to say. They don't do you like they do me."

"What? Wyatt, before I moved to Atlanta all they did was put all of their attention on you. I barely got a glance. You were always in trouble or in the hospital. They did what they did because for some reason they think you're worth saving."

"And you're saying I'm not?" He asked looking up at her.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm getting out of here and don't expect me to come back. Good luck on getting clean."

Ignoring his yelling and insults, Amanda went back into his room and grabbed her purse. She tossed the gift she'd gotten him on his bed then stormed out of the room leaving the door wide open.

After dropping her uhaul off, Lainey ubered to her father's garage. It was one of two of his businesses, the other being his construction company. This is the one he was at today. While she waited in his office, a couple of his employees came to talk to her. When he walked in she was sitting on top of his desk laughing and talking with them standing near her.

"Now I know yall asses got some work to be doing." His voiced boomed making the two of them jump. "Get away from my daughter before you don't have a job or eyes anymore."

Lainey laughed as they scurried out of the office. "Pop, why you so mean to them?"

He kissed her head then pushed her off his desk and walked around to sit behind it. "First, don't be sitting on my desk. Second, cause they asses don't have no business in here talking to you. Especially when it's so much work to be done. What you doing here anyway?"

"Ew, rude, Pop." She laughed sitting in one of his chairs. "I just came to see you. I can't come see my father that I missed so much and that I love so much."

Caleb started at her with his brow raised. "Your mama put you out, didn't she?"

Lainey laughed loudly. "You know she did."

"What did you do?" He asked laughing.

"Well...I had invited her to come with me to drop the truck off and I would run errands with her. I was tryna help her and provide her with entertainment while she got ready. And do you know what she told me, Pop?"

He chuckled. "No, what?"

"She told me I get on her d-a-m-n nerves so I simply told her that she's a Christian and she not supposed to be cussing. She must ain't like that too much cause next thing I know there was a shoe coming my way and she told me to get out and leave and not to come back to later. So... here I am."

Caleb couldn't help the loud laugh that came out. He could hear his wife's voice perfectly in his head. "And I know you're proud of yourself. Want me to take you to get your car?"

"Very," she nodded. "No, Amanda is gonna pick me up. We're gonna go find her an outfit for tonight."

"Where you two going?"

"A friend of hers is hosting a party at a club tonight so we're gonna go. Might find you a son on law while I'm there."

Caleb stared at her, "Alright ... don't get nobody shot, Lainey. Why don't you invite your brother? I'm sure he'll wanna go."

"You want him to go so he can scare people off so no. But he has a date anyway," she said with an eye roll.

"Oh right with that girl from ya mama church. Something about that girl ain't right."

"Same thing I said but Mama told me hush my mouth."

Across town, Benny and Mitch day in their shared office doing paperwork and talking. They had a very busy morning that tapered off into a calm afternoon.

"How's your brothers, man?"

"They good, they good. Two more months left then they gon be home." Benny told him with a smile. "I can't wait."

Mitch looked up smiling, "That's what's up man. I know they're ready, it's been a long time coming."

"Hell yeah been six long years. I know Mama gon be shouting and praying when they get out. You know her," he laughed.

"Yeah, you know it. You ready for your date tonight?"

Benny huffed loudly and laughed. "I'm ready to get out over with. That girl is weird, something is wrong. I been turning her down politely for months then he ass turn around and go through my mama."

"Knowing Ms. Hanna not gon let you say no."

"Exactly. Ima take her to dinner then ima take my ass home. She not about to get my caught up in nothing."

Mitch frowned a little, "What you mean?"

Benny put his pen down and leaned on his desk, "Something about the way she be looking at me and looking over my shoulder, like she paranoid or something. Ion really like that shit."

"Keep your eye out when you're out with her. You picking her up?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I was gonna have her meet me there but you know."

"Yeah, Ms. Hanna wasn't having that. Just let me know when you pick her up and when you drop her off."

Later that night, Benny sat across the table with his date for the evening, Gia. He had been texting his best friend on and off to give him updates.

"You okay? You seem a little distant."

He raised a brow at her. "I'm cool just hungry. Waiting for my food."

She laughed a little nodding, "Yeah, me too. They're a little slow tonight. So how was work?"

"Work was work," he answered watching her look around for the fifth time, "Aye, what or who are you looking for?"

"Hmm? Oh nobody, nothing. Why did you ask?"

"Cause your ass keep looking around. You got a man or you running from someone. Which one?"

She shook her head laughing a little. "Neither, neither. I just like to watch my surroundings."

Benny hummed not believing her. If it's one thing he could do, it's sense when some shit wasn't right. And nothing about Gia seemed right.

"What did you say you do again?" He asked knowing she had never told him.

"You weren't listening to me?" She asked smiling.

He chuckled rubbing his hands over his beard. "I'm a lil forgetful sometimes. Tell me again, sweetheart."

Gia took a sip of her drink which Benny paid attention to. She was stalling.

"Oh I am a uh consultant for a bridal shop." She stuttered out with a smile.

"Oh really? Which one?" He asked leaning back in his chair.

"Mmm I don't wanna talk about work, Benny," she laughed, "Work is stressful and I wanna leave it where it's at. I'm gonna run to the restroom really quick."

Nodding, Benny watched her hurry off to the bathroom with her phone to her ear. He pulled out his phone to text his best friend and his father to let them know something was feeling off with her. Meanwhile, Gia was pacing back and forth talking on her phone.

"What?" The voice on the other end snapped.

"I think I messed up." Gia panicked.

A loud groan came through the receiver. "What the hell did you do?"

"He noticed me looking around a lot and I don't think he bought my excuse. And he asked me what I do and I told him at a bridal shop."

"Dammit! That is not what I told you to do! You just better hope you don't fuck this up for me! Cause if you do.."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry."

"Not as sorry as you will be if you fuck this up. Get back to that table and stop being so damn paranoid!"

Gia assured them that the rest of the evening would go according to plan and hung up. Before leaving the bathroom she fixed her make up. Benny looked up from his phone when he saw her come back to the table, giving a half smile to her wide one.

"Ooh our food came. This smells and looks good," she commented sitting in her seat. "What did you get again?"

"Steak, roasted vegetables and a loaded potato. You good?"

"Yup, I'm good," she smiled. "Would you like to taste my pasta?"

Benny looked up from his food for a moment, "Nah, I'm good. Thank you though. So the consulting thing. You like a independent contractor?"

Gia thought quickly before nodding. "Yes, that's its. They call when they need me and I go in to help on already scheduled days every 30 days."

"So you make your own schedule and all that? You always wanted to do that?"

"Be my own boss," she laughed a little, "Yes. Consulting, no. It's not the last stop but it's a stop. I love fashion and all that."

Benny hummed listening to her talk. He couldn't care less about what she was saying, he just wanted to keep her talking. Caleb taught him if you kept someone taking long enough, they tell on themselves without you having to do much.

"Cool so what's the next stop?" He asked eating some of his food.

She smiled and shrugged, "Haven't decided yet but something big. I hear your sister is back in town. You excited?"

Benny frowned, "How you hear that?"

"You know your mama told everybody at church," she laughed. "And we know some of the same people."

"Mmhm. Yeah that's my lil baby of course I'm excited."

Gia nodded. "A friend of mine wanted to know if she was dating anybody. He's been crushing on her since they were in high school."

"Nah," Benny answered cutting his steak, "She not dating nobody. At all. Whoever it is can keep crushing cause it ain't gon happen."

Gia laughed mixing her pasta a bit, "Awe you're protective. That's cute."

Lainey left her room with her clutch and phone, heels clicking down the hallway to her parents' room. She walked into the room dancing a little bit and adjusting her dress. Hanna sat in her bed against the headboard watching tv.

"Mama, come on and tell me I look good so I can go." Lainey laughed.

Hanna looked over at her and chuckled. "You missing straps and fabric at the top and bottom of your dress. Where you think you going?'

"Mama ... its a halter dress is not supposed to have straps. And it's almost mid thigh, that's long enough."

"Who told you that you could wear that?"

Lainey laughed a little, "I dunno if you know but I'm grown, Mama. Plus I'm cute and it's cute."

Hanna hummed. "Yeah okay, cute. Your daddy seen what you wearing?"

"Nope and ima leave before he does."

Just as Lainey turned to leave she bumped into Caleb. He looked her up and down then chuckled.

"You gon be late to ya party, go get dressed, Lainey."

Lainey looked down at her dress and heels then back at him. "I am dressed, Pop."

"Where you think you finna go in that?"

Again, she started to dance and laugh. "I'm about to go cut a rug, Pop. Shake what my mama gave me."

"You shake too much and you gon be showin what your mama gave you. You not wearing that."

Lainey sucked her teeth, "Pop, its cute."

"Uhuh, cute, I don't care. Go change."

Pouting, Lainey stomped out of the room back to her bedroom. She started to pick another outfit then grabbed her long sleeve jean button up shirt and put it on over her black dress. She left it unbuttoned and fixed it in her mirror then left to go back to her parents room. When she walked in they were kissing which made her frown.

"Hey, ew. Stop that. I don't wanna see that." She complained. "Is this better? Can I go now?"

They pulled away laughing.

"Much. Leave that on, don't take it off. You staying with Amanda or coming home?" Caleb asked.

"Staying with Amanda. Text yall when I get to where I'm going and when we're back at her parents."

Caleb nodded, "Alright, babygirl. We love you. Have fun but be careful."

Lainey went to kiss and hug them quickly before leaving the room. Once she was in her car, she pulled out of the driveway quickly heading for the Cryer house. Halfway there, her phone rung.

"Hey, Manda! I'll be there in like 15 minutes."

"Ugh I can't go," Amanda groaned, "My dad neglected to tell me that we're having a dinner party tonight. My mom tried to help me out but no dice."

Lainey pouted sitting at the red light. "Damn it. That sucks, I was looking forward to the party. Well call me when it's over and we can chat."

"Okay, I will. I'm so sorry about this. What are you gonna do?" She asked still sulking.

"Uuuh, I don't know," Lainey said quietly. "Probably go see my aunt or get food and go back home."

"Okay well I'll call you. And I'm sorry again."

"Girl you're good. I understand."

When they hung up, Lainey drove around for a bit trying to decide what she was going to do. While she rode around her phone ring again. She smirked seeing who it was.

"You must've known I needed something to do," she laughed.

Mitch's laughed echoed through her speakers. "I have great timing. Thought you had a party to go to."

"Plans got canceled. So now I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Lainey."

She laughed a little. "This is when you ask me if I wanna come over, Mitch."

He laughed. "I was getting there. You wanna come over? I'm not doing anything, my best friend is on a date. I could use the company."

"Well good then. What's your address?" She asked happily.

Mitch gave her the address, then talked to her until she got to his house. While they talked, Mitch straightened his living room up then pulled his car out of his garage so she could park there.

Lainey looked around his living room while he went upstairs to change. He noticed pictures of him and a very familiar older woman who resembled him. She knew she had seen the woman before but couldn't remember from where. Mitch had changed into gray sweats and a black t-shirt before coming back down. He noticed her looking as he took a seat on his sofa sitting with his legs wide.

"Those shoes look nice on you but they can't be comfortable to stand in."

She turned to smile at him and went to sit at the end of the sofa. "They're not uncomfortable yet but I did want to sit down."

"Good. I don't know if I told you but you look beautiful."

"Thank you, Mitch." She smiled fixing her dress a little.

He nodded looking over at her. "How long do I have the pleasure of your company?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. I was supposed to be spending the night with Amanda so didn't plan on going home."

Mitch stretched his arms out on the back of his sofa, he's knees fanning a bit. "Well if you wanna stay a few hours, I'm good with that and if you wanna spend the night I'm good with that too. Up to you."

Lainey eyed him. Looking from his open legs to his face then his outstretched arms. She hadn't realized just how much of him it was until now and she was not disappointed at all.

"I um ... I'm gonna stay the night. If that's okay with you."

Mitch smiled at her. "Like I said, I'm good with what you wanna do. We can order food and watch a movie."

Realizing he was about to get up, Lainey stopped him and pulled out her phone. "Wait ... we can use my phone. You don't have to get up."

He chuckled softly taking her phone. "No problem. My uncle's restaurant delivers, I'll order that for us."

"Okay um we should ... we should talk and get to know each other while we wait."

"Wanna talk about this stuttering thing you're doing," he asked concentrating on ordering their food. "You didn't do that before."

"That was before I noticed how much of you there is." She said louder than she intended. Covering her face, she laughed nervously. "Oh my God ... I was not supposed to say that so you could hear me."

Mitch laughed looking over at her briefly, "It's okay, honesty is good. Did you not realize how big I was when we met?"

"Honestly, no. I was so tired from the drive and unpacking that I didn't realize it."

"Even when I walked up on you in the kitchen?"

She shook her head looking at the side of his face. "No. Happened so fast and I didn't want my brother to come in so I was looking at the doorway."

"Tell you what, when I'm done ordering the food I'll stand up for you so you can look again. Deal?" He asked.

"Deal."

"Good then I wanna see this outfit," he added softly, "without the shirt that's covering it."

Once the food was ordered he gave back her phone then stood from the sofa. He fixed his shirt and sweats before smiling at her. Lainey raised a brow starting at the moon in front of her. There were so many things she wanted to say and ask but nothing came out but a small, barely audible, "oh." Laughing a little, Mitch pulled her up from the sofa and looked down at her.

"I'm wearing six inch heels and I'm only at your chest. How is there so much of you?" She asked staring up at him.

"I dunno. Genetics, I guess, Lainey." He laughed and sat back down. "Your turn, beautiful."

Lainey removed the shirt she was wearing on top of her dress tossing it aside into the love seat. She adjusted her dress a bit then spun around so he could see the entire thing. Mitch had to restrain himself from reaching out to touch her when she turned her back to him. He smiled at her once she was was facing him and pulled her to stand between his legs.

"You look beautiful. This is a beautiful dress on you as well. I like it."

"Thank you, Mitch. At least you like it, my parents didn't."

Mitch chuckled grabbing her hands. "They're not supposed to. It fits you very, very well. You wanna take these off?"

Lainey raised a brow and laughed. "Wait ... take what off?"

"The heels, Lainey." He laughed. "The heels. Do you wanna take them off?"

"Oh, oh," she laughed, "Yeah, I do."

Mitch started to help Lainey take her heels off. They got one off successfully but the buckle on the other got stuck. Between both of them pulling and tugging, Lainey fell into Mitch's lap. He caught he'd around the waist, her face inches away from her as she laid her hands on his chest to catch herself. There breathing increased slightly.

"You good? I got you." He said softly searching her face.

She nodded tucking her bottom lip momentarily. "Yeah I'm good. Thank you."

Using his free hand, Mitch finally got the buckle loose and tossed the heel aside. His hand slid down her waist to her thigh keeping his eyes on her.

"You got goosebumps. You cold?"

"No," she answered shaking her head. "No, not cold. Just ... you."

A ghost of a smile graced his face. "I can take a hint."

Pulling her further into his lap then leaned up to kiss her. She fell into his rhythm putting her arms around his neck. The two of them kissed until Mitch's phone vibrated in his pocket making her jump and pull away.

"Sorry," he said softly going into his pocket for his phone, "It's Benny. He's been updating me on his date."

Lainey nodded staring at him, waiting. That was fine that they were keeping in contact with each other but she didn't care. When he tossed his phone to the side, she launched herself at him kissing him hard. While they were kissing Lainey's phone was vibrating on the other end of the sofa being ignored. She's forgotten to text her mama so she was calling.

"She probably just having fun with Amanda and forgot. You know how they are," Caleb assured his wife. "She'll text."

Hanna sighed hanging up. "She better. She knows I worry."

"She's a big girl now, she's okay, lil lady. Let's finish this movie."

[henrik-von-schneeplestein]

Crazy To Suppose

Ship: marvelsepticeye, background/established schneeplebro

Summary: Chase and Henrik invite Jackie, Marvin, and Jamie over to celebrate New Year's Eve. The night doesn't go the way Jackie imagined, and the end of his year is far from happy. The beginning of his new year, however, starts looking up.

Warnings: alcohol; not so much a warning but just a note that this story obviously does not take place during covid - don’t go to parties during pandemics!!!

Word Count: 1812

Click here if you’d prefer to read it on AO3 :)

--

Jackie snuggled into his blanket, flicking through channels with the remote Chase had left him with. Jamie was still sitting next to him, but Chase and Henrik had gone upstairs to put the kids to bed and Marvin had wandered off and disappeared. 

It had been a nice evening so far. Dinner was delicious - Jackie had spent more New Year’s Eves than he’d care to admit ordering delivery from overtaxed restaurants and waiting forever for it to arrive. And even aside from the homecooked meal, it felt good just to get out of his apartment on the holiday and end the year chatting, laughing, and watching Chase’s kids try to stay awake until midnight (they didn’t even make it until nine).

He heard footsteps coming back into the room behind him; Chase had said something about watching a movie until it was time to watch the ball drop, and left Jackie in charge of picking. Marvin still wasn’t back, so Jackie pitched the others some options as Chase and Henrik brought out some snacks and made themselves comfortable on their couch. He almost jumped when a voice came from right behind him.

“I’m gonna head out, but thanks again for dinner guys.”

Jackie turned. Marvin, apparently, had been in the bathroom changing into a sparkly gold dress that came to his mid-thigh. He looked glamorous and perfect as always; like a model in a fashion magazine article about New Year’s Eve. It made Jackie understand the saying “dressed to kill;” it was like Marvin was stealing the air right out of his lungs.

Chase was less impressed. “You’re gonna freeze in that.”

Marvin rolled his eyes. He walked back through the kitchen and opened the hall closet without asking, helping himself to one of Henrik’s coats, a long black one that extended down to Marvin’s knees. It was loose on him, so he ignored the buttons and just pulled it around himself. “Does this meet your standard, mother?”

Chase crossed his arms but didn’t say anything.

“I’ll bring it back tomorrow. I’m leaving this here anyway,” Marvin said, dropping a bag that looked to contain the clothes he’d worn earlier in the evening. He fished out a smaller bag, one that matched his outfit, and started putting his shoes on.

“Do you at least have your phone?” Chase asked. “How are you getting home? You don’t have your car.”

“My date’s driving.”

Jackie didn’t know why it hurt so much more than usual. Marvin went out on plenty of dates, and it was never easy, but Jackie had gotten used to telling himself that it was ok, that it wasn’t his business. Being in love with him didn’t give Jackie the right to judge Marvin’s decisions, and just because Marvin never showed any interest in Jackie didn’t mean it was a personal attack when he went out with someone else. But Jackie had thought that they would be together tonight, even if just as friends, and now he had to watch him ride off with someone else. And maybe, when he’d seen Marvin dressed for a party, he’d had the tiniest hope that he was going to ask Jackie to come along.

Headlights appeared outside the window, Marvin waved goodbye and wished them all a happy new year, then left and closed the door behind him while Chase was still in the middle of telling him to be careful. In his absence, there was a five minute intermission for Chase to rant about how inconsiderate he was and how he was going to end up dead in a ditch one of these days, and then they redirected into the movie. Jackie chose a superhero movie, since Marvin wasn’t there to complain about it, but found he only missed the way that Marvin would’ve made fun of it when they ended up watching in almost complete silence.

They caught the last fifteen minutes or so of the live footage in Times Square, and before they knew it they were counting down. When midnight struck, he found himself staring as Chase and Henrik kissed each other, swaying a little as they held each other. They were so happy. Jackie wondered if he’d ever know what that felt like.

He felt a kiss on his cheek and turned to see Jamie smiling at him. He tried to smile back as Chase and Henrik finally separated and turned to hug the two of them. He knew he should enjoy the laughter and friendship, but he was stupid enough to check his phone. Marvin hadn’t texted him.

Chase and Henrik didn’t really have a guest room, what with having five kids, but since Henrik’s kids were with their mother that night, they offered Jamie and Jackie to crash in their empty beds. Jamie accepted and went upstairs with them, but Jackie figured he’d honestly be more comfortable on the couch than in a twin, and besides, he was grateful to have the TV, especially once he was alone. He couldn’t sleep, and it gave him something to distract himself with.

He was zoning out in front of some 90s sitcom he’d never seen when his phone buzzed at around 1 am. It was from Marvin - “hey can you let me in”

What did that mean - it made it sound like Marvin was right outside. Jackie walked towards the front of the house and squinted through the window. He could see something moving. “Jesus,” he muttered. He opened the door and Marvin slipped through. “You’re creepy as shit, you know.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, no problem. What are you doing here?”

“I accidentally left my keys in that bag with the clothes I changed out of.”

“Oh. Is your, uh, date waiting for you?”

“God, no. He was an asshole. I took an Uber; I’ll just crash here tonight.” He took off his coat, revealing a full bottle of wine he’d been hiding under it. “We can have our own party.” He opened the bottle expertly and took a drink directly from it. Then he held it out to Jackie. 

“I don’t know if we should -”

“Oh come on,” Marvin said, giving him That Grin. “You already helped me sneak in, you’re complicit here. Besides, Mommy and Daddy are fast asleep upstairs, they’re not gonna catch us.” He dropped onto the couch, making himself comfortable in the space Jackie had abandoned.

Somehow, Marvin had a way of making it feel like they really were rebellious teenagers breaking all the rules, and the sadness that had hung around Jackie all night suddenly seemed distant, like the two of them had been a part of this secret scheme all along. He accepted the bottle and took a sip.

“Sorry if that guy ruined your night. You want me to beat him up?”

“Nah, not even worth the energy. He tried to do the whole ‘kiss someone else at midnight’ thing to make me jealous. Please. I practically invented that move.” He leaned over for the bag of chips on the coffee table and took a handful. “I mean, the crazy thing is,” he said between bites, “I used to do that with Chase, back when he was fun.” He rolled his eyes.

“What’s up between the two of you, anyway? Why are you at each other’s throats all of a sudden?”

Marvin hesitated. He wouldn’t quite meet Jackie’s eye, staring down at the wine he was swirling restlessly. “He’s mad at me for going out tonight. He thought we should all hang out, make sure you had a fun New Year’s.”

“Me?!”

“Yeah. Just cause, y’know, it’s the first holiday season since Lizzy, and he’s been worried.” That was the last thing Jackie had expected. Lizzy was his ex-girlfriend, but they’d broken up months ago, back in spring, and he’d been the one who ended it. But then again, they’d been together for two years, everyone had been asking when the ring was coming, and she really was great. Maybe he should still be upset, but he hadn’t even really thought about it. That was why he’d broken it off in the first place - he knew it made him a jerk to stay if he had feelings for someone else, and even now, his only real feeling was hope that maybe the reason Marvin hadn’t invited him along tonight was because he couldn’t take him away from a party that was meant to be for him. 

“And I would’ve stayed, it’s just that I already had those plans.”

“It’s all good. Chase is sweet, but I’m really fine.”

“I was stupid to go anyway. Honestly, I knew this guy was a loser I just… I know it’s dumb and it doesn’t really compare to your thing, but ever since Nico I’ve been weird about dating.” Nico was Marvin’s ex. Jackie didn’t like him, obviously, but the other guys didn’t either. He was weird, dark and broody, and they were pretty sure his name was really just Nick. Marvin had stayed with him longer than he’d ever been with anyone else, though. “I know we weren’t together as long and that you guys didn’t like him, but he was always sweet, y’know. And I still wonder if I made a mistake ending it.” He took another long drink. “And it’s like, any time I meet someone too nice it just freaks me out, I don’t know. Like I don’t wanna do that again.”

“That makes sense. I don’t think it means you should go out with assholes, though.”

“No. I think Anti’s snake is getting hungry; I keep stealing its dead rats to put in guys’ mailboxes.”

Jackie laughed. “You’re something else, Marvin.” He grabbed the bottle and took another drink. He didn’t even like wine, it was just nice to share. “You’re gonna figure it out.” He raised the bottle in a toast. “To a year of dating nice people, for both of us.”

“Mm, yeah.” He rested his head on Jackie’s shoulder. Jackie could feel the tickle of his long hair, smell the booze on his breath, and it made his heart beat faster. “That’s the spirit,” he yawned.

“There are beds if you think you’d be more comfy.”

“Nah.” He pulled his legs up under him. “I’m good here if you are.”

“I’m good.” He tried to fix the blanket so it was over both of them, and Marvin’s weight grew heavier against him. 

He was pretty sure Marvin had fallen asleep, so he was surprised when he heard him mumble, “I can’t believe I didn’t get a kiss on New Year’s Eve.”

Jackie leaned over and kissed his forehead. “How ‘bout that?”

Marvin hummed, now so out of it that his voice came out in a muffled breath. “Nice.”

Jackie laughed. “Happy New Year.”

 This time, he didn’t receive a response at all other than deep, steady breathing.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Recruits, Regulation″

Recruits Kimber, Alvarez, Han, and McCaster sat mostly slack jawed in the little conference room on the command deck of the UNSC Harbinger. The little alien doctor they had called ‘Krill’ was standing at the front of the room, and in general military fashion, he had a powerpoint holographically projected over the far wall. 

On the projection currently was a diagram of a human body, the kind you would see in high school health textbook.

The little alien was pointing vigorously towards the diagram, “And here, right here this little opening that leads into the bladder is called the urethra, and if you STICK things in it, it gets grossly infected and causes horrible urinary tract infections.” The group of recruits simple sat there in shock, “This, this is the anus, this muscle was designed to push things out not take things in. In fact, if you try, the negative pressure created by your adventure can pull things INSIDE your colon and up your large intestine. The procedure for getting that out might include surgery, but could just involve someone like me reaching up there to grab it out.” 

Mouths gaped in astonishment.

They couldn’t be living through this, could they.

“This, this machine right here is the mechanism used to close the airlock doors. If the airlock doors get jammed, do NOT stick your hand inside to try and fish them out, because this may cause something called degloving…. If you don’t know what that means, its when all the skin peels off your hand like a banana and-”

The door at the far end of the room hissed open, and they turned to see the commander, of course the man didn’t just walk into the room like any normal person. He glided in on his ‘heelies, hands clasped behind his back like he was standing at parade rest. It was such a strange sight, considering the man was wearing an officer's uniform and a captain’s cap having ditched the sunglasses from earlier in favor of the eye patch, which did not, in fact, seem to be a joke, but was definitely part of his everyday wardrobe. 

He came gliding to a halt next to them, “You made a powerpoint?” He asked in mild amusement.

“Of course I made a powerpoint.”

“Hmm,” The man shrugged, “Guess it makes sense.”

“Can you let me finish.”

The man grinned, “Afraid not. We are about to launch, and I have it on good authority these four have been invited to the bridge to see the spectacle.”

The little doctor sighed, “So human by way of his exasperation that it was hard to tell he was even alien, “Alright go then, but when one of them ends up in my infirmary with some stupid injury, I am going to blame you.”

“You blame me anyway.”

“That's because I am convinced you are the amalgamation of human stupidity and recklessness.” The recruits looked nervously back and forth between the two. Its not everyday you watched an officer get insulted to his face, but the man just smiled and laughed blowing the entire thing off.

“Well I’ve never gotten anything stuck in my colon, so I guess I’m not a good representative, anyway.” He pointed to the four of them, “Come on. I think you’ll want to see this.” 

Nervously the group of them stood and followed the Commander through the open doors walking along behind his gliding form.

He had…. Not been what they expected. They had seen the movie trailers, heard about his exploits, watched flight demonstration videos, in certain cases, and even received lectures about intergalactic relations based on transcripts from his conversations, and or interactions. He was a legend at the academy, at the forefront of human/alien relations. All the books were written based on what he had done or what people in his crew had done. He had been the first man to SEE sentient nonhuman life.

And there he was, wearing an eyepatch and heeleing down the hall like a botched middle school costume party. Not to mention, when they had heard of him, they had immediately assumed it would be someone older and more experienced, someone graying at the temples who had seen more life than he knew what to do with, but this…. This guy wasn’t much older than them. Young enough to be their older brother, or their older brother’s weird ass friend.

Then there was that smile, like he didn’t have a serious bone in his body, and they were expected to follow this guy?

How could they take him seriously?

“Um… Sir, I don’t mean to sound…. accusatory , but.” He glanced over his shoulder back at them, green eye sparking with some unknown emotion.

Recruit  Kimber pointed down at his shoes, “Um, are those regulation…. With the uniform or…”

He grinned again and turned away, “Uniform regulation Gama on the proper maintenance of footwear when wearing uniform. Footwear must be classified as a dress shoe and come in Mat black or grey, no laces.” he pointed downwards at his feet, “These are slip ons, and in the online description they were described as a ‘dress shoe” maybe it was on a technicality but I took a screenshot just in case anyone asks.”

They stared at him. 

“Um…. sir…. I hate to sound like an….ur well…. But you arent exactly…”

“What you expected?” The man finished, coming to a stop and turning to face them.

“Well.” Alvarez rubbed the back of his head, “Yeah, I mean you…. Well weve read about you in military science and tactics, and we sort of just assumed that you’d be more ...”

The conversation died away as the young recruits shifted awkwardly.

He smirked, “you thought id be some old stuffy officer with years of military experience. Some regulation stickler with a metal rod shoved up my ass, yes sir, no sir, you say jump, I say how high, that kind of person?”

They shuffled their feet awkwardly, but didn’t answer.

The man didn’t break his expression, “Well this is the reality.  When I was a kid I used to set up my telescope out on the lawn, hoping I would see a UFO I trained for over five years in aviation to get my ass on board the Enterprise, because I wanted nothing more than to go to space.. My first trip to space was in an F-90 darkfire, and I nearly died. I was on the forerunner team that stepped foot on Proxima b and then when we receive incoming radio signals from an unknown source,I accompanied them as well. There I was the first person to see extraterrestrial life, not only that but I helped to establish linguistic contact between the two races. When the Drev war happened, I was deployed when I never should have been, lost my leg become a part of operation steel eye fought through withdrawals and PTSD before crawling back to the UNSC only to learn that the GA Knew me and trusted me enough to want me as the human representative to the rest of the galaxy.” He paused for a second looking them over, “All of that, was just one big accident. I was in the right place at the right time, and aside from training as hard as I did to be a good pilot, I have stumbled and crashed my way to success by the grace of my own luck.”

The group remained silent.

He looked at them with a critical eye, “Do you want to know what I learned through all of that?”

They remained silent but nodded nervously.

He took a breath, “I learned first and foremost to never stop loving what you do, With the army it is easy to take all the rules and regulations, and hate all the political loopholes you have to jump through. It’s easy to make a routine to grow bored. But boredom leads to burnout, and every day I wake up on MY ship living my childhood dream and determine I have no right to feel that way, so if that means wearing heelis on the command deck, Playing songs older than dirt on the bridge, and making myself look like a fool, than I’ll do it, just as long as I remember to contain it when it most matters.”

He turned away and began gliding down the hall again, “Ever wonder why my ship, despite being the most dangerous, is the most sought after in the fleet… It's because Morale. I make sure to keep my people entertained and happy. Morale has the happy side effect of making people work harder, they try more, and they are more loyal. Everything I do, I do for the crew, and for myself.”

He came to a halt at the bottom of the steps and led them upwards onto the bridge. 

The small blue Drev, Sunny, was waiting for them, “Rousing lecture, I almost peed myself a little.”

He snorted and shoved her aside with a shoulder, “You know you love me.”

The drev lifted her head slightly, “Do I?”

“Yes, you do.”

The recruits followed nervously after him glancing towards the Drev female and her bright gold eyes. She snapped her beak at them and they stepped back nervously. She made some sort of humming sound deep in her chest. The the base of her throat they watched as two large holes opened and closed in time with her breathing.

Creepy.

“Begin preflight sequence.” The commander had taken a seat in the captain's chair, and as he was sitting there giving orders and taking command of the ship, you could almost forget that he was wearing an eyepatch and a pair of heelies.

By order form one of the bridge men, they strapped themselves into their seats as the countdown sequence began, “Crew of the harbinger this is your Commander speaking. Please follow all takeoff protocols for we are beginning preflight at this time. Please make sure to strap down all objects that would be lethal flying towards you head, and keep your hands and and feet inside the vehicle for the duration of the ride, thank you for flying with the UNSC.”

He flipped some controls on the chair as the countdown began, and it wasn’t moments before they were being lifted into the sky. Everyone braced themselves against their seats clutching the harnesses as they were thrust upwards into the sky, hands clasped onto harasses, and then they were airborne.

Despite the sudden and violent takeoff, the ride was relatively smooth, and they watched out the windows as earth receded behind them.

It was an amazing sight, more than any of them had ever before imagined, “Charge warp drive!” The commander ordered.”

“Charging warp drive, engage on your command, sir.”

“Diagnostic report on the coolant system?”

“100% operations functional, sir!”

“Engage warp drive in three ...two…. One.” 

And then they were gone, off into the vastness of space at the forefront of space exploration.

At the forefront of danger.

***

The forefront of danger was not what they had been expecting, they certainly had not expected the aggressive prank war that occured on April first, a prank war that covered McCaster in Green paint, and resulted in Han having lost all of his left shoes. 

They didn’t expect the mess hall to burst into a sing along when the commander began playing outdated rock music, they hadn’t expected to get cleaned out in a game of poker by an alien nearly twice their size, or chased out of the shower by a very grumpy looking spider hybrid.

All through this, the commander appeared and disappeared at random wheeling past or riding on the back of the electric blue Drev, only to prance down the hall out of sight leaving a trail of…. Something dumb, bubbles or confett, behind him. 

How he managed to requisition any of the things he got his hands on was a mystery to them.

And though this was the strangest experience they had ever had, he hadn’t been wrong about burnout, boredom, or monotony. They never knew what was coming next, and there was always something interesting going on.

If you walked in on the commander, one moment he was trying to teach the spiderlings how to shake, and the next moment he was on a conference call with the president of the UN brass of the UNSC and the galactic Assembly giving tactical advice with the same mouth that had earlier proclaimed the hypothesis that , why don’t we just do all our laundry in space seeing as the inhospitable vacuum would kill all the bacteria, not entirely sure if he was joking or not.

During meal times he spent a good portion of it rotating around the tables and eating with a new group every day. Generally his big blue friend, Sunny came with him, and more often than not, the doctor as well. Seemed odd how close he was with them, but no one would give a straight answer when questions came up about the nature of the relationship.

It was on just such a day when the commander made his way over to their table and took a seat followed by the blue Drev who was carrying a large salad in a mixing bowl. 

The drev could really put down food, but that made sense.

“Morning gentlemen.”

“Morning, sir.” 

He tilted his head, “Don’t look so thrilled, you might have an accident with all that enthusiasm.”

Alvarez clutched his mug, “Sorry not a morning person.” He muttered 

“And you commander.” 

“Any time is a good time to be alive.”

“And there is the optimist.” Han muttered with a sigh rubbing groggily at his eyes before pausing “What are you wearing?”

The commander grinned leaning back to show off his shirt, “Star Wars T, its vintage, do you like?.... Don’t give me that look, it’s casual friday.”

They just shook their heads in slight amusement as he leaned an elbow on the table, “I was meaning to ask you guys something.”

They nodded, and he was about to open his mouth to speak when, alarms started going off all around the ship.

Suddenly, the geek was gone and the commander stood in his place demeanor no more marred by his clothing than a speck of dust in a beam of sunlight.

“EVERYONE TO YOUR STATIONS, NOW!”

“What’s going on!”

He tilted his head to the side listening, probably to a report over his implants.

“The GA is under attack. “

[wormsposting]

iThoughts On the New M9 Outfits that No One Asked For Because I am Excited

some PSAs before i start:

I don’t own any of this art, it was drawn by Ariana Orner (@ornerine)

as of now i’m at about episode 52. this will be interesting indeed

on with the show:

i dont know if this makes sense, but i have heard the AccentTM only once, but i can feel the Accent with that haircut

that sword. is shiny. will be fun to draw

seems to have the same armor ish, enjoy the return of the red strings

ON CLOSer INSPECTION, the armor is covered in SWirLy. i enjoy the wildmother motif

the cape. that cape. i cannot express the joy i feel at seeing that cape in words. the red, the weird ass over the shoulder. the strange hexagon. amazing. the height of fashion. we should bring back capes

how much mud have you been walking through fjord

THOSE BOOTS! molly would be proud. i am proud. i’d say its unrealistic to fight in such clothes but if anyone could, it’d be beau

i see we’ve dropped the monk vibe, going for a more high class fantasy superhero vibe

her eyes seem to be glowing blue, not sure why, but nonetheless pleased

THAT COAT we are truly being blessed with the coats this time around

my only complaint might be the pants. they look cool, but i like baggy pants. give me more baggy pants

the jackets have only gotten better. 

the FLOWERS! YES i have no idea why they’re there but YES

SUNNY YELLOW DRESS. Wonderful. it goes with her eyes, and has many buttons 10/10

SHE HAS REAL SHOES NOW. not only are they a step up from no shoes, they are wonderful. A mix between Maximum Leather Boots and cowboys. very enjoyable

ooo braids. wonderful braids. No more hood, which means i get to draw hair. i love to draw hair.

and to top it off, a deadly crossbow. Its still the same asdkfs;a inventiony one from huperdook? yes? a wonderful accessory, complements the flowers perfectly

MY GIRL

so many things about this. 

for one, the coat. the coats. I love coats. this coat is amazing

those boots are cool and remind me of my dnd character, so always a plus

so many sparkles. all the sparkles.

loving the gloves. are they made of leather? Latex? Silk? i dont know but it definitely works with beau’s superhero vibe.

i see the haversack and i like. nice bright pink socks, one can never have enough outlandish socks.

looooong sleeves. Beautiful. good for dramatic exits

UNICORN GUINEA PIGS.

new haircut, very nice.

WOah. FIre.

seems much more put together and less covered in dirt, so nice.

another new haircut, kind of makes him look like a sith lord, but not a bad look to have.

frumpkin seems to have absorbed all the dirt. interesting

not nearly as patchy which is sad, cause i love patches, but some nice triangles. 

the coat and scarf have gone from Practical for Warmth to Fuck This I’m A Fire Wizard Let’s Be Dramatic. Nice?

did yasha give him a shave again 

Ahem. I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS.

is this evil yasha? why is evil yasha so hot

just. just jfkasdlllll

um, we’ve taken the goth to a whole nother level

the chains, are shiny, the boots, are lacey, the makeup, is dramatic

the cAPE. and those WIngS

the leggins have improved on original yasha, which i thought was impossible until now

she’s the only one who hasn't gotten a new coat other than fjord, but that c a p e

man, fancy ass arm gaurds. idk what else to say

Cadueeecessss

heckity heck beatles. nice.

what is all this glowy blue, it is cool.

see cad kept the baggy pants. cad knows whats up

what are these gray streaks? is it cause he died

purple boots, nice

less lichen, not as nice, i like neon pink mold

badass coat my dude, cool new shield. I enjoy that he still has the beatle i listen to too much music, BEETLE armor, is fun to make shiny things

the silky sleeve has only gotten BETTER, if that was possible

the earing has become edgy. interesting, is there some deeper meaning behind this

has also gotten a new haircut and lost the beard. why are we getting rid of the beards? are they illegal in Xhorhas? i liked the beards

[crimeronan]

no supernatural au concept i haven’t been able to stop thinking about since considering ronan and opal were once the same age

the lynch family has a reputation.  partly it’s because they’re fucking weird, but let’s be real -- every rural town has its share of characters.  weird farmers are par for the course.  if the lynch family just kept to themselves at the barns, no one would know they existed.  however niall lynch is a swaggering larger-than-life storybook hero who loves attention and scandal, so: the lynch family has a reputation

by and large, the household is made up of known entities.  niall, the irishman who never shuts the fuck up.  aurora, the quiet beautiful wife with the bizarrely gorgeous beadwork at craft fairs. declan, the eldest son who’s got one foot in DC and won’t ever look back when he gets there.  matthew, the youngest boy with the enthusiasm and adoration and intellectual prowess of a golden retriever puppy

however.  the lynch twins are largely folkloric

it’s not just that they never seem to appear in public.  it’s that there are a dozen decade-old stories told by knitting folks on their porches that cannot POSSIBLY all be true, including:

the lynch twins set fire to the post office

the lynch twins stole four pallets of soda from the back of a truck unloading at the henrietta general store and drank all the evidence

the lynch twins lured a man into the woods and stabbed him in the leg

the lynch twins helped the local vet’s office coordinate 30 TNR procedures because they’ve befriended a colony of feral cats

the lynch twins trained a rotating cast of corvids to shit on the mayor when he leaves his office every evening

the lynch twins were banned from three local churches after incidents involving a statue of mary, stained glass worth several thousand dollars, and the preacher’s microphone respectively

adam doesn’t give much of a shit about local gossip but has gleaned quite a bit of it when being deferential and polite to middle-aged women at the dollar store.  it takes him a month of attending aglionby to put together that ronan and declan are siblings (they look unbelievably alike, but their body language and speech are SO different) and another week after that to realize ronan’s one-half of the unidentified lynch family variables

“isn’t there another one of him?” adam blurts

declan looks up and blinks, nonplussed rather than smooth for once in his life.  “excuse me?”

adam’s eating lunch and has ended up at a table with declan not because of friendliness, but because declan’s taking a break from his roving cast of intransient social interactions to work on college apps and adam’s getting a head start on homework.  neither is here to make friends.  adam nods across the room at ronan, who appears to be constructing a fully landscaped mountain sculpture out of french fries

declan says “god, i wish” as ronan upends a bottle of ketchup over the fries and causes a volcanic eruption that obliterates everything in the lunch table’s path

that tells adam absolutely nothing but also he doesn’t really care.  later, when he and gansey are friends, and he’s no closer to understanding ronan but much more actively annoyed by him, he asks gansey the same thing

“oh, his sister!” gansey says, and beams.  this at least explains why she doesn’t go to aglionby.  “she’s great.  she’s taught me a lot about what plants want to kill you”

adam can’t decide what to make of this.  once upon a time he’d think that the affection of someone like gansey predisposed the mysterious lynch sister toward being like declan, but it turns out gansey reserves that ebullient expression for losers like him and ronan and noah alone, so.  more data necessary

it’s important to note that this isn’t like, occupying a huge part of adam’s mind.  it’s just idle querying because he likes knowing things.  to that end, he asks ronan once if he’d ever met ronan’s sister when adam attended the public junior high.  they’d be in the same grade, right??

ronan gets weird and evasive with some response about how she homeschools with his mom, and adam’s like okay, some religious cult thing with the women running the farm. whatever. not my issue

adam and ronan get slowly closer over time, etcetc, you know how it goes.  eventually adam's invited to the barns.  his first few visits are normal.  suspiciously normal.  aurora is loving and gentle in a way that makes adam skittish - probably more due to his own issues than any Actual malevolence, but who knows - and there is zero mention or sign of a girl living there

it doesn’t Really bother adam, but it kind of bothers him.  less because he’s dying to meet her and more because equations that don’t add up make him nervous.  his running list of theories include 1) she doesn’t exist 2) she’s dead 3) she’s at some elite boarding school for girls in connecticut 4) she’s an emancipated minor 5) she’s not an emancipated minor but has run away anyway 6) she’s a fugitive from justice 7) she’s in prison 8) she’s dead but, like, worse this time

adam carefully and subtly raises his concerns to ronan by asking, “so is your sister being tortured in your attic or what?”

ronan, reasonably, is like, “the fuck?”

adam’s like, “look, all i’m saying is that when a twin goes missing in a story and no one seems to care, something sinister’s afoot.  that’s all i’m saying here.”

ronan’s like, “say the word ‘afoot’ again.  you sound like gansey.  come on”

he takes adam out for a walk in the woods, which seems like a pretty murdery way to respond.  adam, uncomfortably aware of that rumor about luring people to the woods and stabbing them in the leg, is like okay i’m about to die here.  i’ve uncovered a lifetime movie plot and now i’m gonna be buried in unmarked barrel #457.  what a way to go

this is pretty much confirmed when he gets attacked

he hits the ground before he’s really registered anything beyond a surprise impact.  it drives the breath out of his lungs. he flips onto his back right away.  ronan’s got half a foot of height on him and stupidly long legs so a sprinting escape doesn’t seem viable.  he’s gonna have to rely on the old-fashioned power of fingernails and kicking

he has time to see a pair of blown-pupil eyes WAY too close to his face before the weight disappears from him.  the culprit is a girl, late teens, with hair that’s probably blonder when the matted dirt is washed out of it.  “for fuck’s fucking sake,” ronan is saying, hauling her to her feet and blessedly away from adam’s vulnerable internal organs, “why. WHY.”

“holy shit.”  adam sits up, clutching his chest.  he can feel every bone in his body.  “god. god. god”

the girl is almost as tall as ronan.  she’s dressed in some kind of baggy coverall-ish getup that might once have been an army parachute.  she is not wearing any shoes.  there’s some blood on her face from a recently-opened scab, and also a black speck on one cheek that adam thinks is a smashed fly

“you didn’t jump gansey!” ronan is saying, extremely exasperated.  “why!”

“i didn’t have my hammock yet when gansey first came,” she says.  she does not sound remotely sorry

adam looks up and discovers that there is in fact a hammock stretched between the trees.  it’s one of those heavy-duty camping numbers with thick canvas and a full insect net.  it’s also thirty feet in the air.  there are branches on the way down, but they are very precariously spaced.  adam does not want to know how she parkoured to leap onto his shoulders

“when you snap someone’s neck,” ronan says, “i’m not helping you hide the body”

“who says i haven’t already?”

“the fuck? and you didn’t ask me to help hide the body?”

she darts a few feet away and pulls herself into a tree.  adam watches with slight fascination as she shimmies out along a long branch until it dips under her weight.  as he gets to his feet, trying to piece together his wilted dignity, she rides her makeshift nature elevator down until she’s staring into his eyes again.  hugging the branch like a snake.  absolutely no consideration for how normal human beings behave. it’s almost marvelous

“sufficiently free of my attic, parrish?” ronan asks

“uh, yeah. yep”

“so this is opal,” ronan says

opal flips over so she’s hanging from the branch like a sloth.  then hooks her legs around it and reaches down until her palms are flat on the ground.  cartwheels out of the tree like a particularly feral acrobat.  adam jerks back to avoid being smacked by a faceful of twigs at the whipcrack slingshot of the branch bouncing back

opal pulls a pocketknife from one of the folds in the DIY parachute sewing machine tick protection onepiece from hell.  adam eyes her warily

“opal, this is parrish. or adam. whichever. don’t stab him”

“god,” adam says again

opal beams.  she opens the pocketknife, but all she does is start cleaning bits of plaque from between her teeth with the tip, which is somehow so much worse than stabbing.  adam looks at ronan and finds him pinching the bridge of his nose.  it occurs to adam that this is the only time he’s EVER seen ronan express any sense of embarrassment in any social situation.  ronan has no sense of propriety.  adam didn’t know he was capable of feeling embarrassed

he immediately likes opal just for that.

“yes,” opal says, unconcerned, answering a question no one’s actually asked.  “ronan is the normal one”